Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Bertroff Hissa


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(5 Inqs/4 Users/9 Total)
Support Oppose Comments
 * 1) Best. Villain. Ever. --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 13:25, 7 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 23:00, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Yay Troff! Boo Fake Kadann! --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:36, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Guiltiest, heh.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:12, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) Dark votings Enochf 07:10, 18 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:43, 28 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 7)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 05:06, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) Go to Australia, all ready. &mdash;Graestan ( This party's over ) 05:58, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 01:21, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * I don't think you can be Grand Moff of a single planet. He's likely the Grand Moff of the sector that contains Kessel. Thefourdotelipsis 06:28, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
 * Changed. --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 11:54, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
 * You introduce Trioculus twice. Thefourdotelipsis 07:01, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
 * Whoops. Fixed --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 11:54, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
 * Would it be possible to work in a mention of his relationship with Quorl Matrin? I'd think it at least slightly noteworthy that this Imperial slimeball has a buddy who does impersonations for his amusement and calls him "Troff." (Gamer 1, page 59) -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:08, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
 * Added. "Troff." Wow. If only someone called him "Berty." --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 20:58, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
 * How this relationship ultimately played out is unknown, though Matrin kept Hissa informed throughout the expedition to Stenos. Um, what? How about, "Quorl was ultimately ripped to shreds by the Stenax, so the relationship abruptly ended". Cull Tremayne 23:03, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
 * Heh, I asked if he died in IRC but nobody answered (I haven't read much Marvel...yet). Addressed, anywho. --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 23:08, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * The three redlinks would be rather simple to remedy.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Check for potential links; "spice" and "mining" are two that stand out.
 * 5) **Linked some.
 * 6) * Hissa is described as a Grand Moff two sentences in a row in the intro.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * "The Supreme Prophet sentenced him to a slow and painful death, though Bertroff was killed before his execution could ever take place, on the fourth moon of the planet Yavin."&mdash;Reword; clarify.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "We were desperate of a new leader."&mdash;From a quote; typo?
 * 11) **Mistake on my part; addressed.
 * 12) * "Hissa greeted the audience, which included stormtroopers, Moffs, officers, admirals, bounty hunters and slavelords, bidding them all 'dark greetings.'"&mdash;Yeah.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Even though they are megalomaniacs, the word carries too much connotation to be used without some POV.
 * 15) **That's not what you said on IRC when I asked if it was POV. Begrudgingly addressed.
 * 16) * "Millions of miles" from Calamari? Seriously? Even if it's what's stated, please can we change it?
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Try not to refer to Trioculus casually as "the Emperor." While he was the Galactic Emperor, when people read that, they think Palpy. "Emperor" and Palpy are almost synonymous.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * "Hissa watched with Trioculus, through cameras installed on the droid, as the Rebels attempted to destroy the droid, which evaded their every move."&mdash;Reword, perhaps break up; it's ponderous even though it isn't long.
 * 21) **Broken up.
 * 22) * "The Grand Moff, however, had no knowledge as to why they were going to Duro—Kadann had staged a coup, and was now in complete control of the Empire, and barred the Committee access to top-secret information."&mdash;Run-on; repunctuate.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * I'd like to try and avoid the use of parentheses, as they seem more like casual asides than factual statements. Can you reword to achieve this?
 * 25) **Yes. Removed them all.
 * 26) * &mdash;Graestan ( This party's over ) 03:21, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 27) From the reinhabited lair of Hobbes15
 * 28) * I'm sorry, but "I am Grand Moff Hissa" is not a very good quote. Change it or don't put one in that section.
 * 29) **Well, it's better than no quote at all, IMHO. And I have been unable to find an alternative.
 * 30) ***Quote somewhat begrudgingly removed. --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 13:25, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 31) * In Grand Moff, you say he made Tigellinus an enemy, while in Struggle for Power it states that he was a former ally. This could use some mention in Grand Moff.
 * 32) **Mistake on my part; addressed.
 * 33) * Per Graestan on the parentheses; they don't really seem right.
 * 34) **Addressed.
 * 35) * "Trioculus and Skywalker fought, though the Jedi Knight was too powerful for the mutant, and he managed to escape." Er... it don't make sense!
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * Currently, the quote for The Lost City of the Jedi doesn't say who actually came up with the scheme. A direct quote should not be cited this way; perhaps use something like or similar to "Hissa/Trioculus muses on how to force SPIN to reveal the location of the Lost City of the Jedi".
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) * "Hissa announced that Trioculus was Palpatine's son, though Kadann saw through the lie. Hissa advised the Emperor to tell him the entire truth, that Kadann knew everything and thus could not be deceived. They told Kadann everything, and Hissa's reasons behind installing Trioculus as the Emperor." This needs a bit of rewording.
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) * "a spot of bother"?! Is this some Irish phrase or something :p ? Reword.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) * Since when is Triclops part of the Rebel Alliance? With a lot of shaky sentences, I suggest rewriting the second paragraph of Debacle on Duro.
 * 44) **Trioclops wasn't, neither was Ken, that's why they were counted as separate to Rebel Alliance members. I re-wrote what I could, though I couldn't find a more optimal way of phrasing some of it.
 * 45) ***Much better. I may have misread the Triclops+Ken bit, but you definitely improved the rest of it greatly. Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 05:44, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 46) * In Mofference, you call MD-5 "the late Trioculus's personal droid," when Trioculus isn't dead yet.
 * 47) **Everyone but Zorba believed he was. Re-worded, anyway.
 * 48) * Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 06:14, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 49) From the apparition of Atarumaster88's desk
 * 50) * "He made several enemies during his time as Moff, among them Rufaan Tigellinus,[6] though he kept his position, and reported directly to Emperor Palpatine. " Sentence reads clumsily, reword please.
 * 51) **Reworded.
 * 52) * I'm pretty sure they weren't called "Red Guards" in the Imperial era.
 * 53) **Addressed.
 * 54) * "Triclops then approached Hissa, forcefully taking his revenge for the Moff's part in having him locked up. Triclops did not harm the Moff, though Hissa had fallen into a pool of acidic liquid which had leaked from a Duro dam." This doesn't make much sense.
 * 55) **Clarified some.
 * 56) *Other than that, looks good. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:34, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 57) **I shall. Thanks to Graestan, Hobbes and Ataru for your input. --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 15:44, 2 December 2007 (UTC)