Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Operation: Knightfall (second nomination)

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:36, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Same reason as Gelesi

Support

 * 1) Good article. Coruscantfan 03:29, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 12:48, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Jedi Kasra
Needs info from Star Wars Purge: Seconds to Die.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:59, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:34, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Kreivi Wolter
Image for the prelude? Kreivi Wolter 10:04, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added one of Anakin and Palpy at the opera. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:40, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Coruscantfan
The section at the end of the prelude where the transfer of the 501st is mentioned needs to be reworded. The timeline of events doesn't flow as well as it could. It seems confusing and could come across as in conflict with the movie at first glance. Good job keep it up! Coruscantfan 00:13, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure what you mean by a problem with the timeline flow. Vader was coronated, told to go to the Temple for Knightfall with the 501st being assigned to him, then Order 66 was given; in that order. Neither does it conflict with the movie because the clones taking part during the movie were the 501st, per SWBF2. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:46, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry let me clarify. The way its written makes it sound like the 501st was transferred from Utapau after Order 66 came down in which case it would be in conflict since they were already there waiting to march on the Jedi Temple when the actual order was given. My suggestion is you rewrite that part of the section or just the sentence to say that "The troopers of the 501st Legion had been transferred to Coruscant..." I know it seems minor but it would make the section flow better. I have to say you have done a very good job with this article!! Keep it up. Coruscantfan 02:14, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * No, Vader was given his orders then Order 66 was given moments after. The 501st were sent concurrently with the former event or at the same time 66 was given. The 501st were therefore physically transferred after 66 was in full swing (i.e. the Jedi deaths montage), arriving that night, just before the assault. Skywalker then killed Jurokk and they marched. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Actually (This part of the movie came on TV just now) Order 66 was given as Skywalker and the 501st walked up the steps of the Jedi Temple. I do have to make a small shange to the article to account for that, but everything except the placement of 66 is correct per the movie. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:59, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Ok, well it looks better now. I think the problem was that you were making a distinction between Vader's personal orders and Order 66 which makes sense but I wasn't thinking along those lines. Article looks great, good job. Coruscantfan 03:23, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Things and such

 * "Operation: Knightfall, which took place in 19 BBY immediately before the end of the Clone Wars between the Galactic Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems," - Extraneous exposition and context. Since you're using the Clone Wars as a framing and dating device, you don't need to explain it.
 * Removed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:02, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * "After assisting in the death of Jedi Master Mace Windu and submitting to Dark Lord of the Sith and Supreme Chancellor of the Republic Palpatine's teachings, the newly anointed Darth Vader—formerly a Jedi Knight—and the clone troopers of the 501st Legion stormed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, initiating a massacre concurrent with the activation of Order 66, a galaxy-wide hunt of the Jedi by their former clone comrades." - This sentence needs to be broken up and rejigged a bit, for readability and flow.
 * I can't believe I missed that. Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:56, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * The intro itself feels a bit lopsided; half of it is about the aftermath instead of the battle itself.
 * Now? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:43, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * "The Knight was shocked by this revelation and he fled to the Jedi Temple to inform Jedi Master Mace Windu, who immediately alerted the Temple and took a squad of Masters to apprehend him." - This reads oddly, namely the "immediately alerted the Temple," part. I would have said "those present at the Temple," but I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "alerted" in this case.
 * Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:56, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * The first paragraph of the "The battle" is too play-by-play, and should be cut down.
 * Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:02, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * There might be just a little bit too much detail on Koon's movements.
 * Cut out parts about Plo and Palpatine. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:02, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * If you're going to specify the Jedi by their in-game class types, you should link to them. But since those were TC'd long ago (I think,) I'd suggest not mentioning the class types, and just referring to them colloquially as Jedi Knights or whatever.
 * Removed. Apparently Chee said the classes were non-canon. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:02, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Good, although there are still a few mentions of the classes in the infobox and the body. Thefourdotelipsis 00:01, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Were the Jedi interceptors trying to flee? As far as I can recall, the fighters move to attack the anti-aircraft gun.
 * Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:56, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * The murder of the younglings in the High Council Chamber is sourced to the game... does it actually show that? I can't remember if it's mentioned in the text or not, but it's not ringing any bells.
 * Removed the mention in the body and relegated it fully to the Jedi Casualties section. It wasn't in the game. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:22, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Palpatine visiting the temple to congratulate Vader might be relevant.
 * Added. I'm not sure whether or not to add a part about Obi-Wan seeing it. I sense it would probably lead to a long tangent. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:22, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Much of the "Jedi Casualties" section is redundant.
 * Not anymore. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:56, May 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * There's only scant detail on the actual clone occupation of the Jedi Temple, and next to no detail on how much damage was actually inflicted on the temple itself. There's probably a lot of juicy detail in the second Jedi Temple mission of the ROTS game for that kind of stuff. Thefourdotelipsis 11:47, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * It'll take me some time to get my hands on the game again, I'll deal with those objections when I can. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:02, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. And if it looks as though you've addressed the objections and I haven't struck after a while, feel free to give me a nudge on my talk page. Thefourdotelipsis 00:01, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added some. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:43, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

No Mercy:

 * The intro states that it took place before the end of the Clone Wars --- as such, shouldn't the Clone Wars be included in the "Conflict" section of the infobox? After all, it does play a big part in ending the war.
 * If I may interject here, I don't think this really counts as a part of the Clone Wars, as it is a totally internal Republic conflict. Just like how the Battle of Imperial Center isn't a part of the GCW. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 15:21, June 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * It wasn't part of the Clone Wars, it was part of the Great Jedi Purge. Since no battles of the Clone Wars were going on at the time, I decided not to add it to the infobox. On top of that, that's more of a Galactic conflict wheras this is just one battle of another war. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Intro: Did Vader alter the beacon? Didn't he just create it, and then it was later altered by Obi & Yoda?
 * The beacon was in the Temple to summon the Jedi if neccesary. Vader just thought that was a good moment... *cue maniacal laugh* NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Should there be an article for Obi & Yoda's mission?
 * I'm debatable on that issue, it's come up before. I think was the main problem with creating it was that it technically wasn't really a "mission" and more of an "incursion," used quite loosly. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Intro: "After this battle..." Obi & Yoda's mission hasn't been identified as including a battle yet. Reads kind of confusingly.
 * Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * "had gone to the Temple upon hearing of General Grievous's death..." This is the first and only time Grievous is mentioned. Link him and give him context.
 * Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Same thing happens with the Confederacy of Independent Systems a bit later on.
 * Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Why do you wait until the aftermath section to mention Vader's slaughter of the younglings?
 * Because it's placement in the timeline was odd between information from the game and movie. That section is there for that kind of thing. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is it necessary to mention in Behind the scenes that Shaak Ti's death has since been rendered non-canon, when you're already talking about its appearance in a non-canon source?
 * Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:17, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * I meant to review this a lot sooner. This is a really good choice for a FAN. Menkooroo 14:44, June 3, 2010 (UTC)

Jinzler

 * The attack on the Temple is mentioned on p.231 of Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor, where Nick Rostu says that he heard that Anakin Skywalker defended jedi children from Vader and the 501st during the attack, and that Skywalker was the last jedi left standing. You might want to consider adding something in the article about this --Jinzler 15:47, June 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 17:59, June 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

 * I tweaked with the images a bit; hope you don't mind. -- 1358  (Talk) 18:54, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not at all. I'm terrible with images. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:30, April 18, 2010 (UTC)