Wookieepedia:Inq/Redux page

 The Inquisitorius redux page is an active extension of Inquisitorius meetings, wherein Featured articles that have been updated, rewritten, or otherwise overhauled so significantly as to require a review of a section or of the entire article are placed. Articles that are placed here will be given reviews by Inquisitorius members, and when the required number of votes in favor of the article being passed are acquired, the article will be removed from the redux page and will retain its Featured status.

How the redux page works:


 * 1) During Inquisitorius meetings, articles that have recently received updates or overhauls so significant as to require a review of the new material will be voted on as "reduxed," tagged with the FA redux template, and placed on this page. Members of the Inquisitorius will then review the article or the section(s) of the article as necessary.
 * 2) Once an article has achieved the required number of supporting Inquisitorius votes and has no outstanding objections, it will be removed from the redux page and archived, and will keep its status as a Featured article. A nomination will be considered successful once it has achieved three supporting Inquisitorius votes with no outstanding objections. As an active extension of Inquisitorius meetings, only Inquisitorius votes will be counted.
 * 3) Any article that has outstanding objections for three weeks will be eliminated from the redux list by the Inquisitorius, and will be stripped of its Featured status.

=Reduxed articles=

Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War)

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 40. Major rewrite; full review required.
 * Date added: February 12, 2011

(+0)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Some starters
 * 2) * The article is quite long, so I actually think it could use some intro expansion.
 * 3) **Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) * It could use a link check too; from what I've seen it looks pretty sparse at the moment.
 * 5) **Went through and added a bunch. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) * I would place the navigation template below the external links&mdash;while the LG says succession boxes should be above the notes and references (thus above the external links), it doesn't say anything about navigation templates as far as I see. What do you think?
 * 7) **Yes, it looks better this way. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 8) *Will give it a thorough review after these have been fixed. 1358  (Talk)  17:33, February 14, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) Article requires confirmation for its name. The NEC does call it the "Battle of Borleias," but the article needs to somehow reflect that.  CC7567  (talk) 23:25, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 10) *There's no official source for calling it "Second Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War)" or even Second Battle of Borleias. Wookieepedia came up with that title to distinguish it from the first and second battles of Borleias in the GCW and the first battle for Borleias in the YVW. I'm not sure what you want here . . . we can move it to Battle of Borleias since it's canonically called that, but that'll mean fixing a whole bunch of disambiguation pages and redirects. If that's what you're looking for, let me know. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) **Why don't you just move it to Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War), which reflects the actual canonical title? Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:30, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Moved. The only page that linked to the original Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War) redirect was this page. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:10, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 13) ****The article has been moved, but so far that's all there's been to satisfy the objection&mdash;the naming throughout the article needs to be fixed too.  CC7567  (talk) 07:37, May 9, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Agreed and fixed. I didn't see this for awhile, sorry about the delay in addressing it. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:10, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Form V: Shien / Djem So

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 40. Major rewrite; full review required
 * Date added: February 12, 2011

(+2)
Support
 * 1) Article is back in good shape.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 20:20, May 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2)  1358  (Talk)  18:49, May 11, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Jujiggum
 * 2) * BTS needs a lot of expansion; also, the bit about the Jedi Exile could use some more detail/better explanation
 * 3) **I expanded the bit about the Jedi Exile, but I'm at a loss for what else you are looking for in the BtS. I could add the standard "Form V has appeared in these sources" but beyond that, I'm not sure what else you're looking for&mdash;do you have specific sources in mind? I'd prefer not to add random fluff to it just to make it longer, so I'll wait for feedback on this one.
 * 4) ***I think you could at least explain its appearance as retcons in Eps II, V, and VI. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 20:56, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 05:05, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) *****I think this could be stated much cleaner and without having to refer to "this article." Why not just say simply that the form's appearances in the films II, V, and VI are all retcons based on sources X, Y, and Z that state that the characters so-and-so used the form in these instances? Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 05:32, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 7) ******See what you think now. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:11, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 8) *******That works. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 03:16, March 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) * Seems to me like there is plenty of redundant information in the Practitioners section; I cut down some of it in my copy-edit, but even more could probably be removed.
 * 10) **I gave it a further trimming. To an extent, there will be some overlap because it's hard to discuss applications without mentioning the people involved but hopefully it's acceptable now. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 05:05, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Looks good. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 05:32, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) * The fact that it's called "The Way of the Kray Dragon" needs to be mentioned somewhere in the main body.
 * 13) **Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:17, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) * A few things for the affiliation section of the infobox: shouldn't the Jensaarai be mentioned there? Also, the "New Jedi Order" is covered by the overall implication of "Jedi". Either specify which Orders used the Form (i.e. Jedi Order, New Jedi Order, and then list all of the various Sith organizations which used it) or else just stick with the simple "Jedi," "Sith," and "Jensaarai"
 * 15) **Fixed that. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:17, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 16) *I'll give it another look-over once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 19:06, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 17) Toprawa:
 * 18) *If the form counts AOTC, ESB, and ROTJ among its Appearances, does it not also appear in those films' many adaptations? Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:49, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) **I would think so, but I'll pose this question that's kept me from adding them in the past. We know from imagery in Fightsaber that retconned Form V was used in those movies, but the only basis for that is that you see the swordplay in the movie. Whereas in the book, radio drama, audiobook, etc. the swordplay is either written or described. If that constitutes an appearance in your mind, I'll gladly add them in to this article and the other saber form articles I upkeep. :) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:19, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 20) ***I would say these written descriptions, etc. count as appearances provided we can definitively pinpoint specific descriptions corresponding to whatever form we're dealing with. For example, if Form V says thrusting your lightsaber forward in a stabbing motion is part of the technique, and the novel describes Luke performing this action in a duel, then I would add the novel to the Appearances. Meaning that some adaptations may be game for inclusion, and others might not because they're just too generically described, for example. It's probably something you would need to go through each source and examine whether there's enough corresponding info to add it or not. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:25, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 21) ****Sounds good to me, will work on it. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:27, July 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) *****I've gone through the sources and there's nothing incredibly explicit that just screams "This is Shien or Djem So." The Ep. VI novelization came close, but I'm not comfortable choosing what is an appearance and what isn't&mdash;it smacks of original research and seems to be something that could come back in the future as fodder for dispute. I suggest we either leave them off since there's nothing definitive to mark them as appearances, or label them all with Indirect appearance and Retcon. Thoughts? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:40, August 2, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Warb Null

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. took care of some issues and rewrote enough of the article that he recommended it be taken here.
 * Date added: June 18, 2011

(+0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Kreivi
 * 2) * The bio and the p&t still needs the information from here. Kreivi Wolter 11:17, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed.  —Tommy  9281  Sunday, June 26, 2011, 11:35 UTC 
 * 4) Toprawa:
 * 5) *Might I suggest an expansion of the intro? Relative to the rest of the body, it just seems kind of skimpy right now. Would like to see it beefed up a little bit more. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:55, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * Given the amount there's information regarding them, I think the article could include Equipment-section. Some info from p&a could be moved there. Kreivi Wolter 12:15, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * Given the two edits you just made that totally could have been done in the first place, feel free to take care of this under that same premise.  —Tommy   9281  Sunday, June 26, 2011, 12:20 UTC 

Malcor Brashin

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. Some significant rewriting recently happened; article is an old FA that could use a fresh review to ensure that it meets today's standards.
 * Date added: June 18, 2011

(+0)
Support

Object
 * 1) CC
 * 2) * His wife and daughter should get articles, as should Tantor's sergeant.
 * 3) **Done. --Eyrezer 09:44, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) * Context on Tantor in the intro. Also, the "fall of Coruscant" needs to be linked properly in the intro (and the corresponding place in the Bio, too).
 * 5) **Is it about right now, or do I need to add more context? Added links.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  02:41, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) ***The context is fine, but since the wife and daughter links are in the intro, per FAN Rule 8, they can't remain as redlinks, so please create articles for them.  CC7567  (talk) 05:56, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 7) * The beginning of the Bio should provide some time marker as to when he lived. Did he live during the Empire's reign?
 * 8) * The article is excessively subsectioned&mdash;maybe something can be done to rectify this?
 * 9) **Is this better?-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  20:16, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 10) ***It's fine, but now the images are a little too closely spaced, and they also aren't properly arranged to alternate. Please see what you can do. One or two will probably have to be removed.  CC7567  (talk) 05:56, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) ****Done. --Eyrezer 09:49, August 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) * Fact tag in the body.
 * 13) **I didn't think that there was enough evidence for the Inquisitor to be considered Brashin's personal Star Destroyer so I reworded it. Sourced to Force Commander.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  22:21, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) ***On second thought, I am not sure if this first section can be sourced to the game or not, can anyone tell me where this information is from?-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  14:04, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Oops I should have put this in a new section, since this was a completely different spot, see below.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  14:14, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 16) * In "Brenn Tantor's early training," can any battle articles be linked to the Tatooine mission? The Second Battle of Tatooine (Galactic Civil War), perhaps?
 * 17) **Linked to First Battle of Tatooine (Galactic Civil War).-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  22:21, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 18) * Context on the Devastator, please.
 * 19) **How is this?-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  22:21, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 20) * The "Rebel base" on Yavin 4 needs to be linked.
 * 21) **Done.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  22:21, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) * Much of the last paragraph of the bio is not directly relevant to Brashin. Please see what details can be cut out so that the article mainly focuses on Brashin. This goes for the rest of the article too&mdash;to whoever handles this, I recommend going through the article entirely and cutting out the small details that are not directly relevant to Brashin. A significant amount of the article focuses on Tantor, not Brashin, and while I suppose that is inevitable, I'm sure that the unnecessary details can be cut out.
 * 23) * "Brashin seemed to take a genuinely paternal attitude toward Brenn Tantor, his favored student. He treated the younger man kindly and took great pride in his accomplishments, though he remained somewhat distant; Tantor did not seem to share the same intensity of feeling. Despite being a Grand General, Brashin did not appear to have had any spectacular tactical or strategic skills." The "seem to" and "appear to" parts detract from the P&T's quality&mdash;only the known facts about Brashin's personality should be reported, and speculation or unsupported claims should be taken out of the article.
 * 24) **Cleaned up a bit. Do I need to cut more?-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  20:16, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 25) *Can the Bts be expanded? When was Force Commander released? Was anything new reported in the Fact File or in the CSWE? Those sources should at least get mentioned in the section.
 * 26) *I'll give this another look once these have been addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 23:31, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
 * 27) **Do you know where I could find someone that has access to the Force Commander strategy guide? I think I might need to see if there is new information on Brashin in it.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  14:14, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 28) ***I don't, unfortunately, but regardless of who addresses this, it needs to eventually get fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 01:01, August 13, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'll work on the article some more if someone tells me what needs to be fixed. Information on him from the strategy guide for Force Commander would be very helpful.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  23:13, July 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * I think that I might need some help in sourcing this article. I would like to make sure what information is from what source. The first two sections of the biography are the ones I am not sure about.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  14:14, August 12, 2011 (UTC)

CT-27-5555

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. The recent major update was lengthy enough to merit some Inquisitor attention.
 * Date added: June 18, 2011

(+1)
Support
 * 1) Menkooroo 08:17, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Clone
 * 2) *Why exactly is TCWRetcon being used for the article? My understanding was that it was meant for pre-TCW articles that have actual chronology issues, like Anakin Skywalker, Asajj Ventress, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the like, not just as a general tag to stick on TCW articles. Please clarify.
 * 3) **Basically the reason why I added the tag into the article is because of Even Piell's mediocre retcon death mentioned in the intro and in the bio itself. Unless, of course, you want me to remove the tag, I just felt it was necessary to insert the tag in the article.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ah, okay. I see your point, but I still feel it wouldn't be necessary because Piell's canon conflict isn't directly related to Fives&mdash;Fives's article doesn't even mention that conflict, while it's necessary for Piell's to, so I think if used on Fives, TCWRetcon would be pointing to something that isn't outlined in the article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 5) * "Fives continued his service in the 501st Legion and joined Rex and his men on the planet Umbara." It's up to you whether you want to include this pre-release Season Four info in the article, but if you do, it needs to get mentioned in the body with proper referencing. A question, though: does any source explicitly state that the video preview scenes with Fives and Rex are on Umbara, if that's the source you're drawing from?
 * 6) **I believe there was a minor trailer or a screenshot somewhere showing all the clones on Umbara, and Fives is seen standing next to Rex. I think this was it: . I think I'm going to wait until I find a better, high quality image.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 7) *This is rather nit-picky, but instead of starting off the article body in the same manner as the intro, can you employ a little more variety, maybe? Maybe something like "CT-27-5555 was a clone trooper who was bred from Jango Fett to serve in the Grand Army of the Republic." Feel free to adjust it to however you like, but please try to lessen the redundancy.
 * 8) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) ***I still think it would be good to mentioned that he was "cloned" for service in the Grand Army before saying that he "served" in it. The final decision is up to you, but that's what I would suggest to be more thorough with his early life.  CC7567  (talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Fives and Domino Squad trained within the planet Kamino's capital, Tipoca City. Within the city's military complex, Domino Squad was overseen by the Siniteen Sergeant Bric, who oversaw the clone cadets practice in combat simulations, which placed them head-to-head with battle droids." Please take a good look at this section. There are several minor errors that nevertheless should not be there.
 * 11) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) *"Clone Commander Colt, an ARC trooper, was to watch the clone cadet's final combat simulator test. If one past the test, the troopers within the squad would be promoted to a clone trooper." Some of the possessive forms here and the plurality aren't matching up here. Please check and correct.
 * 13) **How's that?
 * 14) ***"If one past the test, the troopers within the squad would be promoted to a clone trooper." I still see a strangely placed "past" ("passed" instead, maybe?), and there's still plural problems in the latter part of the sentence.  CC7567  (talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 15) * Defenders of the Republic pages 118 to 120 has a good deal of info about what happens between "Rookies" and "ARC Troopers." Please take another look at it and see what you can incorporate.
 * 16) **Thanks for pointing that out, CC. How's that?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Once Fives and Echo told 99 about the suspected Confederate invasion of Kamino, 99 departed to the facility's weaponry room to gather weapons for the clone troopers. Soon after, Fives and Echo met with an ARC trooper in a docking bay": I believe between these two sentences, the battle had already started, so it would be more prudent to state that here rather than later, as it currently goes. Please see what you can do.
 * 18) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) *Is there any image that might be more appropriate to the placement within "Citadel mission" besides File:EchoFivesARCarmor-TC.jpg? The only reason I ask is because the current image about Echo's and Fives' ARC trooper armor doesn't really match up with the article's plot. If not, that's fine, but it might be worth a look.
 * 20) **Meh, I try to avoid those Citadel episodes as much as I can. :P I could possibly ask JMAS for a new image.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I can help out if need be, since I have the iTunes versions; just let me know.  CC7567  (talk) 05:42, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Soon, however, Sobeck and a team of droids arrived, mounted on separate STAP speeders. The Citadel warden attacked Tarkin, but Tano killed Sobeck. Plo Koon then arrived on a LAAT/i gunship and rescued Fives and the team members. The group returned to Coruscant soon afterward." This part feels a bit rushed, and Koon's attack fleet doesn't even get mentioned. Can you provide more context here? What about the island rendezvous point?
 * 23) **How's that?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 24) *The P&T doesn't incorporate anything beyond "Rookies" and some supplementary material. Please take another look at the other episodes and see if there's anything you can do to expand this section.
 * 25) **Yeah, I am currently taking care of that. I haven't gotten to his P&T or add an equipment section.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 26) *Equipment section, maybe? I'm sure that there's a lot that can be said about his three distinct sets of armor, two of which currently aren't mentioned.
 * 27) * "Fives's clone designation number&mdash;CT-27-5555&mdash;was revealed in the episode's accompanying guide." If I remember correctly, he actually states his designation to Rex and Cody during the episode itself, when he first meets them. I'm not sure what you want to do with this, but if you want to keep it, please adjust for factual correctness.
 * 28) **I do remember this, but I was told otherwise by another user. I'll correct it.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 29) * Please source all of those episode dates&mdash;they aren't self-sourcing.
 * 30) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 31) *Can anything be said of his appearance in LEGO Star Wars III in the Bts? Did he do anything that was notably different from "Rookies"? If you don't have the game, you can probably find a walk-through that will show the cutscenes on YouTube.
 * 32) **I do have the video game, and I'll take a look at it.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 33) *There were a significant number of errors remaining throughout the article&mdash;mostly small, grammatical ones, but ones that I was very disappointed to find. I strongly encourage more thoroughness for all involved parties, because all of those errors could have been easily corrected if more time was taken to proofread and review. I really hope that this will not be a problem in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 01:00, August 7, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * ....  JangFett  (Talk) 06:52, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * Sorry for not addressing your objections sooner, CC. I'll get to them soon. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:07, August 17, 2011 (UTC)

Mara Jade Skywalker

 * Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. Several outstanding issues including the use of first names throughout, common use of the present-tense "This," and incorrect image caption punctuation.
 * Date added: June 18, 2011

(+0)
Support

Object

Comments
 * I apologize profusely for all the errors that I just corrected throughout the article. I rushed the fixes I made before the meeting, and while replacing 300 instances of "Mara" with "Jade" and "Jade Skywalker" isn't exactly exciting, that's what needed to be done. And my second mistake was not doing a satisfactory job of that task. That type of shoddy workmanship is not something I desire to exemplify on Wookieepedia&mdash;while I'm not the most polished writer and generally have lots of little errors, failing to allot proper time and effort to fixing the ones that were mentioned is inexcusable. Again, my apologies. I believe that all of the errors mentioned above are now corrected, with one caveat.
 * Caveat: There are some first names used in the article. The Solos tend to have their first names used with a preference of "Solo" for Han and "Organa Solo" for Leia when just one/both of those two are mentioned. Once the kids come into play, I used first names. I also use "Ben" exclusively when referring to Ben Skywalker since Luke is "Skywalker." If there is an alternate preference from the Inquisitorius, please advise. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 02:09, June 20, 2011 (UTC)