Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

The Clone Wars: The Valley

 * Nominated by:  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Xd
 * 4) * Serious underlinking in plot. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
 * 7) * and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
 * 8) * spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
 * 9) **This one still remains.
 * 10) ***Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
 * 11) * Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
 * 12) *The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
 * 13) **Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
 * 14) * Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
 * 17) **Added clarity.
 * 18) * Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358  Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I got it.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) ***"Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
 * 23) ****Fixed.
 * 24) * The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358  Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
 * 26) The Grand Master's first look
 * 27) * Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
 * 30) **Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Fixed (I hope).
 * 35) *Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Bogga

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:06, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I wrote this article while listening to Push it to the Limit. I now have that song memorized, and I think my life is better for it.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy 9281  Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 18:37, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Not a merciful vote at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:39, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:29, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "he leant a security crew..." What is "leant?"
 * 3) **Flerg. Meant to be "loaned"... I don't know how I messed that up. Addressed.
 * 4) * Your underlinking still knows no bounds.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * The first paragraph of Search for the Adegan crystals has too many different ideas jumbled into one paragraph. Please reorganize it so that like items are together and unrelated topics are separated, into different paragraphs if necessary.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * The grand sum to which Bogga refers is never stated to be credits in the source you have that statement referenced to, so either remove the link to Galactic Credit Standard or provide a source which explicitly states that credits are the payment Bogga expects to receive.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * More later. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:36, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Farlstendoiro the [Un-]Merciful One
 * 12) * Intro: Add "also known as Bogga the Merciful One", or at least "self-styled the Merciful One", as it is a relevant title (used to negotiate with Finhead).
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Intro: If Thon and Bogga had had any relevant encounter before Andur's death, mention it chronologically.
 * 15) **Its not stated if they do.
 * 16) * Bio/Search: Like all Hutts, Bogga was a hermaphrodite, but had a masculine personality. Sounds like all Hutts were hermaphrodite and all Hutts have masculine personality, which is false. Please reword.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Bio/Search: Again, if Bogga knew Thon before Andur's death, it should be specified chronologically, specially if they became sworn enemies.
 * 19) **It isn't stated that they had any contact.
 * 20) * Bio/Dealings: by Captain Gruna, captain of an... Can you reword it so you don't use "captain" twice in a row?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Bio/Dealings: Also, Bogga ordered Gudb to accompany them, giving him Mandalorian chains that could even a Jedi prisoner. I think there's a verb missing somewhere in this sentence.
 * 23) **Yeah. Fixed.
 * 24) * Personality: When agitated, the Hutt had a tendency to start sentences in his native Huttese,[4] and also often referred to himself in the third person.[5] Does he use the third person only when agitated or not? I suggest rewording this sentence.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * BtS: Depictions of Bogga seem to be more than inspired in known pictures Jabba from ROTJ. Do we know anything about this? Did any of the artists used Jabba as a model?
 * 27) **That would be speculation, as there isn't any info about a connection.
 * 28) * BtS: Tsk, tsk... Who voiced Bogga in the audio drama? (Tip: Bud Thorpe)
 * 29) **Flerg. Addressed.
 * 30) *The Great Farlstendoiro is pleased with this article ·:P Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:56, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) Soresu
 * 32) * It is unclear where some of the individuals are at certain times. For example, After threatening to let Ktriss kill and devour Gudb, Bogga gave him another chance and sent him with a team of enforcers to the surface of Ambria to retrieve the crystals. You don't mention that Bogga joined the enforcers planetside on Ambria.
 * 33) **I mentioned that they were at Ambria, but Bogga doesn't go onto the planet's surface, he stays in his sail barge.
 * 34) ***Well it sounds to me like he's with the ground team. Maybe just add, while Bogga remained on his sail barge. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ****Addressed.
 * 36) * Realizing that they had no chance of survival if they stayed and fought, Bogga fled the encounter. You make no mention of Gudb, leading to the assumption that he, along with the entire gang except for Bogga were killed. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:55, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:33, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) Attack of the Clone
 * 39) *Per the precedent, can you use "masculine personality" instead of "orientation" in both the infobox and the body? "Personality" is more specific, as "orientation" implies that it was sexual&mdash;which I doubt is what you're trying to say.
 * 40) *"Jedi Knight Andur Sunrider was slain in the ensuing struggle": link? Article? Anything at all for this event? Please do so in the body as well.
 * 41) *"defeated the Hutt and his crew in a brief skirmish": same as above.
 * 42) *"In the meantime, he loaned a security crew to protect an Ithullian ore hauler that was attacked by pirates." Please smooth out the chronology and the wording; it's unclear specifically what was attacked by the pirates.
 * 43) *Please link the context on Gudb better to him so that there isn't room for confusion.
 * 44) *This is one of the few times that I choose to make a formatting objection, but the incorrect Tales of the Jedi (audio) formatting is becoming a constant problem throughout TOTJ articles. Please fix it and become aware of it so that it doesn't happen again in the future.
 * 45) *Is there any way to condense the third paragraph of the body? If Bogga wasn't even there, then the inclusion of that much detail is shaky and unnecessary.
 * 46) *"Gudb unleashed his pet gorm worm": "unleashed" isn't being used correctly here. It either needs to read "unleashed on ", or a different word choice needs to be used.
 * 47) *"a Tchuukthai whom Andur's ghost had told his wife to meet so that she could begin her Jedi training": why is this relevant to Bogga? In its current placement, it doesn't seem to be.
 * 48) *"While he and his lackeys worked": who's he?
 * 49) *Please limit the excessive use of "brought" throughout the second bio section.
 * 50) *"the group was interrupted by the arrival of Master Thon&mdash;revealed to be the beast that had attacked Bogga's force on the first mission to Ambria": this is unclear; I'm unsure of what you're trying to say.
 * 51) *The tense shifts in the Bts are rather dizzying.
 * 52) *Overall, the article seems to have been written more as a summary of the comic instead of a biography on Bogga. Please check your perspective and make sure that the article is better centered on him.  CC7567  (talk) 03:16, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Sapphire (smuggler)

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:38, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've been wanting to nominate a strong, Rebel, female smuggler for a long time. But Roget Jiriss offers too much resistance...

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:23, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:36, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Xd's quick look
 * 2) * As with above, combine the intro's sections.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * Could you also combine sections in the bio. It almost looks like a list right now.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Xd1358 Talk 13:45, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) The Grand Master's first look
 * 8) * Bio contains significant info that can be mentioned in the intro.
 * 9) **Better, but there's still some shuffling of information that should be done. It now contains some extraneous info, and I'm still seeing some stuff in the bio that should be mentioned in the intro.
 * 10) ***2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:48, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * I'm seeing some grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 12) **Better, but still seeing a few issues here. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 21:52, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:48, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:05, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:54, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * Big one: You have conflicting birthdates between the P&T, infobox, and body.
 * 18) **Changed. I'm bad at BBY-ABY algebra :(
 * 19) ***Hang on. 19 BBY? That would mea that she's 20 or 21 depending on birth date by 22 BBY, but you say she's 22 in the P&T. By my count, she should be born in either 20 or 21 BBY, once again depending on birthdate. I think we had a discussion about birthdate assumptions awhile back, but I can't seems to find it. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:11, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Then, changed again. OS says she was 22 as of 2 ABY. Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:19, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *****Lol just put an "or" in huh? 11:23, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Unable to join the Academy, Sapphire turned to smuggling It could be made clearer why he was unable. Was it because she was too disgraced, because she was, law-wise, banned for her parent's crimes, or what?
 * 23) **OS doesn't specify; not changed.
 * 24) * Sapphire hoped to find Tizzin. You haven't established exactly why she wants to. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:19, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Motive added to 1st paragraph of bio. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:32, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Stuff:
 * 27) * "During this time, she looked after Tizzin to get revenge on him for the death of her parents." Looked after? That implies that she cared for him while he was sick or something. Do you mean looked for, or something?
 * 28) **Yes. Changed.
 * 29) * In the intro, you say "...in an accident due to the incompetence of..." Could you change that to something like "due to an error by?" I feel that since you use similar phrasing in the body, it should be changed. Plus it seems to be a bit POV, or at the very least, just isn't the best wording to use in the intro.
 * 30) **Changed in both. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:46, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *More to come, possibly.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:04, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * "pretending to be a non-political smuggler" This doesn't flow well. Could you say "she pretended to be apathetic about politics" or something of that nature?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:47, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 21:59, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) Cylka:
 * 35) *technology such as special shields that hid energy leaks. - Do you mean an energy signature? Shields that will make it difficult for her ship to show up on enemy radar? This is a bit unclear.
 * 36) **Modified: Power emanations that can be detected.
 * 37) *Why was she pretending to be apathetic about politics? What was the point?
 * 38) **Modified: She has secretly a member.
 * 39) *In the P/T can you try to fit in that one sentence paragraph into one of the other two paragraphs? A one sentence paragraph looks a bit off.
 * 40) **Modified.
 * 41) *Be careful of your linking. You want to link to the actual article and not a redirect. Other than that, nice work. Cylka  -talk- 05:19, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **Double-checked and changed. Thank you. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:43, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) * The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) **Rearranged with info included in bio if possible, to avoid missing anything important. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 31) **I used synonyms; he's described as: (a being of) devious cunning (=Shrewd), (with) intellectual stealth (=Intelligent + cultured + stealthy), and his RPG stats show him as a cultured person.
 * 32) ***Okay for everything except stealthy. Right now you make it sound like he was good at sneaking around, which is not what "intellectual stealth" means. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****'Stealthy' gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:31, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 35) **Not changed: OS says it as an unconfirmed rumor. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 37) **Changed, but OS does not specify. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 39) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 41) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 43) **Removed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"This gave him several satisfactions." What do you mean? What satisfactions does this give him? It was more of the "satisfaction" that was awkwardly worded/confusing then the Navy's offer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****Yes, but the wording is still rather awkward. I would suggest using something other than "satisfactions;" also, does the source say "unexpected?" If not, it is OR and even somewhat POVish. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Anything approaching OR or POV removed, including "satisfaction". Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *******Now you've just contradicted yourself. Saying "deference was essential to his professional activities" is the opposite of what you just said: that he had no need to treat the people he dealt with with respect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:29, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ********Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 51) **(...) have left the crime lord more than a little paranoid. Not changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 53) **Stability. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***It's not very clear what you mean by "stability". Stability of growth? Of living? Monetary stability? etc. Please clarify. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Try now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 57) **Sentence changed; keep bc it tells about Saadoon's mid-term goals. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 59) **Added one date. OS is probably murky on purpose to give freedom to RPG gamemasters. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 61) **Not changed: OS compares them with the Star Dragons. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

Skirmish aboard the Coronet

 * Nominated by: Axinal
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt to seriously improve an article to GA standards. I'll appreciate any help I can get.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1)  Kryze Xd
 * 2) *This is what I saw when checking it quickly:
 * 3) * Combine intro into one/two paragraphs.
 * 4) **Finished with that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) * Too many subsections within the body.
 * 6) **Reduced from three to two. Do you think it should be just one?Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Always refer to people using their last names after the first mention.
 * 8) **Fixed that, though I still use "the Duchess" in some places, and "Satine's guard" is used instead of "Kryze's guard," since the respective article is Satine's guard.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Severe underlinking.
 * 10) **Fixed as much as I could find, but I'll keep looking. Thanks for your help.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *More to come. Xd  13:42, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Karika
 * 13) * Date in infobox needs to be sourced. Fine with me, if anyone could check TCW novel, thanks.
 * 14) **I'm having trouble with that. Aside from a definitive CW timeline as yet to be released, good Clone Wars articles like Battle of Nexus Ortai aren't sourced at all. Any pointers? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Another user sourced the date with The Clone Wars (novel). I haven't read it, so I'm not sure if it can be used as a source in this case. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Like Xd said, underlinking. Lightsaber, blaster, and blaster pistol are a few.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 13:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Read the article over and improved most of the linking. I'll keep looking. Thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Fett's preliminaries
 * 19) * Missing Ref tags in the infobox.
 * 20) **Everything in the infobox is sourced now. Is there still something missing? Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Not to butt in, but the ref tags are still missing. Xd  14:44, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Not at all. I guess I'm not really sure what a ref tag is. Can you give me an example? Thanks. Axinal 16:22, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Ref tags have now been addressed, though I'm not sure I quite see what the difference is. Thanks for your help!
 * 24) * The entire infobox must be properly sourced. Please take a look at other past TCW GAs to help you. Currently, the "c. 22 BBY" needs to be properly sourced. The episode or its guide aren't valid sources for this.
 * 25) **As I mentioned above, some good CW articles aren't sourced at all. Is there a reason for this, and do you know where I can find a proper source for the date? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Date was sourced with The Clone Wars (novel) by another user. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***What do you mean, some good CW articles aren't sourced? Could you please point them out to me? Some articles aren't sourced, but that's just because they're not GAs/FAs, which have to be sourced.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I'm not sure if "sourced" was the right word. Battle of Nexus Ortai has no references in the infobox, which I think is what JangFett meant when he said that "c. 22 BBY" needed to be properly sourced. Axinal 17:35, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****That article doesn't need sourcing because it's self-sourcing. If a subject (i.e, Battle of Nexus Ortai) doesn't appear more than once, it could self-source. However, any subject that's from the TCW television series, the film, or any related video game it has to be properly sourced because it appeared in more than one source. (i.e, information could be in the episode's Online Episode Guide, the video game's prima guide, TCW visual guides). For this battle GAN, you need to double check the episode guide and episode and make sure every detail is added in the article. That said, make sure "c. 22 BBY" is sourced to the TCW novel.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:25, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ******You can generally use "sourcing" and "referencing" interchangeably. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:02, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *******Ah. Thanks. :)
 * 32) ********Yes, thank you, Chack. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The intro needs to be merged into one paragraph, as it doesn't need to have three small separate ones. And you must include "around 22 BBY".
 * 34) **Finished there. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Missing something about the "Clone Wars".
 * 36) ****What do you mean by that? Do I need to specify that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars? Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ****The Prelude now mentions that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars around 22 BBY. Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "As the Clone Wars escalated" is not a proper intro starter. We don't know when this battle took place on the timeline.
 * 39) **Fixed Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * You don't need to have subsections within the prelude. Also, you're missing quotes for the prelude and each subsection of the bio.
 * 41) **Thanks, I'll get rid of the subsection. Do I need quotes for every subsection? The nomination rules says at least one quote is necessary, but doesn't require more than one. I'll keep working on that, though.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) ***Added quotes to the two subsections under The Skirmish.Axinal 22:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added quote to the Prelude. Axinal 01:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * Your BtS needs work too. Please take a look of some of the passed TCW GAs to help you. It's missing the original airdate, and I would remove that bit of trivial information as well.
 * 45) **I'll work on that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:29, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Few more for now: Your prelude needs to be entirely fixed. Right now, it reads like a short summary of "The Mandalore Plot," which isn't how a prelude works. You need to describe what happened directly before this skirmish began.
 * 48) **I rewrote the Prelude, but I'm not sure how much can be done there, considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish. Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***"considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish." That's exactly what should be in a prelude.
 * 50) ****Prelude has been addressed. Axinal 05:44, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * "During the trip, the Duchess's ship was attacked by the rogue group Death Watch, aided by the Confederacy." Please be careful when you're talking about an organization. It's "the Death Watch" not "Death Watch". Also why are they "rogue"? Quite confusing. I suggest removing that bit from the sentence.
 * 52) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * "As clone troopers searched the ship for suspicious activity," What suspicious activity?
 * 54) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * " Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, who was in league with Death Watch" What did he do to reveal the senator was the traitor? Also, again, what do you think is wrong with this sentence?
 * 56) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***"Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, the only one that the probe did not try to attack." Okay, but now it reads awkwardly.
 * 58) ****Addressed that. It's now more specific than I had intended, but it reads much better. Axinal 16:38, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "The Senator called for the aid of Pre Vizsla," Called?
 * 60) **Fixed. Specified to show that he contacted Vizsla via hologram. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * "In the battle that followed, the battle droids were defeated, and Merrik was killed by Skywalker." What battle? I'm confused here. There should be no separate battle other than the skirmish. Be careful here, as this will greatly confuse your readers
 * 62) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) *Another review on the way.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) Toprawa:
 * 65) * Considering there's going to be a third part to this Mandalorian TCW trilogy thingamabob, if not more episodes, your "Aftermath" section is already going to need an update, which means this article fails to meet GAN Rule 5. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) **And just FYI to the nominator, this is why we don't recommend writing and immediately nominating articles on subjects that just came out in canon, like in an on-going TV program or an on-going comic. Because odds are the subject's development is not done, and there's going to be a new information that needs updating, which isn't good for an existing nomination or status article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Yeah, I suppose I would have done well by waiting until next week. Thanks Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ***Aftermath has now been updated with information from Duchess of Mandalore. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) Xd, round two
 * 70) * The prelude is pretty minimal.
 * 71) **Expanded a bit. Let me know what you think. Axinal 00:36, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***You could still add the TCW trademark "In 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars..."
 * 73) ****Added, though I used "Around 22 BBY" rather than "In".
 * 74) * Is that Mixer image really necessary?
 * 75) **Well, a requirement for GAs is a "reasonable" number of images. I can probably find a different image if you think the Mixer one is unnecessary. Axinal 22:15, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) **Image has been replaced. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * Standardize your paragraph length.
 * 78) **Seems pretty consistent to me, but I can work on it if you can specify. Thanks. Axinal 05:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Fair enough.
 * 80) * Xd 19:56, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Underlinking in prelude.
 * 82) **I didn't link Obi-Wan Kenobi, Duchess Satine, Pre Vizsla, Coruscant, Anakin Skywalker, Confederacy, Death Watch, etc, because they were all mentioned/linked in the introduction.
 * 83) ***You have to link everything possible one time in the infobox, one time in the intro and one time in the main body.
 * 84) ****Ah, I understand. Linked what I could see. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * "and uncovered a plot by Pre Vizsla to overthrow.." Who's Vizsla. Context on him.
 * 86) **Addressed. Specified that Vizsla is the Governor of Concordia. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ***Still put in there something about him being the leader of Death Watch.
 * 88) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * "Anakin Skywalker and several clones were sent to Mandalore.." What clones?
 * 90) **Changed to "several clones, including Cody, Rex, Mixer, and Redeye . . ." Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ***I've taken care of it, but in future, you have to specify they were clone troopers.
 * 92) ****Okay, thanks for that.
 * 93) * "The clones were ordered to search the Coronet.." What Coronet? Again, context.
 * 94) **It's mentioned in the introduction that Satine's ship is the Coronet. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ***You have to provide context whether it is mentioned in the intro or not.
 * 96) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) *****I still don't see any context.
 * 98) ******Done the best I could there. Specified that the clones are aboard the Coronet, the Duchess's ship. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * Mention that both Mixer and Redeye are clones.
 * 100) **Mentioned in the introduction. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) ***Still needs a mention in the main body.
 * 102) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) * I'd replace the infobox clone trooper casualties with "Clone troopers" instead of "Mixer" and "Redeye".
 * 104) **Sure. Do you think just clone troopers, or some clone troopers, or 2 clone troopers? Axinal 22:35, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ***Just, IMO.
 * 106) ****Addressed. Thanks for all your help! Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) * A probe killer attacked Cody and Rex. Who's Cody?
 * 108) **Specified as Commander Cody, and mentioned in the prelude that Cody is among the clones sent with Anakin to Mandalore. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) * I don't see why the last sentence of the BtS is relevant to this article.
 * 110) **I guess it wasn't. Removed. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) * Xd 05:53, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 112) Fett II
 * 113) * In the infobox, I think you can add more for the "results" of the battle. I.e, assassin probes destroyed, Merrik failed to destroy the ship, what happened to the battle droids?
 * 114) **If I may intervene here, that's not really necessary info for the outcome of the battle. All it really needs is something stating that the Death Watch/Separatist plot was foiled (and even that would be optional, as that would be covered by the Republic victory). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) ***Battle droids are still an option, though.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) ****I fail to see how that is necessary. Per tons of other GA precedents, it has never really been done, because it isn't needed. That's what the casualties section is for. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:46, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) *****I see your point there, Jonny. Sorry for the confusion.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:48, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) * "Around 22 BBY, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were sent to escort Duchess Satine Kryze and several senators to Coruscant so the Duchess could defend herself against the claims that she was in league with the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Tense and minor grammatical issues are a problem in this sentence.
 * 119) **If I may intervene here as well, there is nothing wrong with that sentence grammar or tense-wise. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Yeah, I corrected it during my copyedit. It's taken care of.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) * Fact tag in the bio.
 * 122) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 123) * In the bio, you say "(and secretly the leader of the Death Watch)", however, please don't use parenthesis to identify context, as it's frown upon and unencyclopedic. I would change the parenthesis to an "mdash", though, I wanted to let you know.
 * 124) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) * "were sent to Mandalore to help Kenobi escort the Duchess to Coruscant, where she could defend herself in the Senate." Defend herself against what?
 * 126) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) *There are many tiny paragraphs throughout the "skirmish" and "Merrik" sub sections. Please go through each paragraph and merge them together to form proportional, concise paragraphs. Proper formatting is an issue I see with this article. And once that's done, please neatly reorganize your three images. The two that are in the "Merrik" sub section are close to each other and need to be spread apart.
 * 128) * " However, before he could act on his suspicions, he, too was attacked." Attacked by what? Also, please clarify or reword "before he could act on his suspicions". Quite confusing.
 * 129) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) *"Skywalker joined the clones to help in their search. They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." I have been seeing these short, choppy sentences throughout the "skirmish" section. It would be appropriate if you add more detail, though, don't get too "play by play" of the situation.
 * 131) **Addressed choppy sentences. See what you think now. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) *I'm seeing a lack of tranisiton between "They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." and "As Skywalker and the clones continued to search the area, Skywalker noticed Redeye walking toward him.". If they found some crate with its lid open, why is this prominently mentioned and then they ignore it and keep searching? If the crate is important, please explain what's its purpose.
 * 133) **Addressed that. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) * "However, Redeye wasn't answering Skywalker's questions." You never have mentioned that Skywalker was talking to Redeye. Please be careful, as it will confuse the reader.
 * 135) **Addressed. Thanks for the pointers! Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) *That's it for now. I'll contiune with "Merrik's betrayal" soon. Please watch your linking, tense, and overall coherency. Formatting is a major issue I see right now.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 137) The article needs to better follow the Layout Guide in terms of a neutral perspective. The article itself is more oriented around the Jedi's perspective and needs to properly make use of an omniscient perspective&mdash;it's history, not a character's biography or a simple summary of the episode. That means that every single relevant piece of information, including the entire setup of the droids and Merrik's allegiances, need to be detailed in the Prelude. The article is in need of a major rewrite to properly do so. Additionally, I fail to see why the last sentence of the Bts is even relevant to the battle.  CC7567  (talk) 22:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just about all objections have been addressed. If Xd, Toprawa, and JangFett want to take another look to make sure they are satisfied, I'd be much obliged. Thanks again! Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hero of Tatooine

 * Nominated by:  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:09, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first nomination ever, hoping I did a good job. Thanks to Xicer9 for a preliminary review.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Your first vote ever, then. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:53, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Pre-nom review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:14, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Round One
 * 2) * "The hermit made his opposition of the Galactic Empire clear within the first few minutes of the two's dialogue, a view the spacer shared." It's been a while since I played that quest, but are you sure that the spacer agreed with the hermit? It sounds kinda pov-ish, and the spacer could have been aligned with the Empire.
 * 3) **As I noted in the Behind the scenes section, if, during your conversation, you make your support for the Empire clear to the hermit, he will refuse to talk to you, so no quest happens if you do.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It's good for now. Also, I haven't read the BtS yet. ;)  JangFett  (Talk)
 * 5) * You say "spacer" quite a lot throughout the intro and parts of the bio.
 * 6) **I tried to vary it as much as possible with other synonyms for it from the spacer article. I went through and used more, as well as terms like "would-be hero".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * "The hermit wondered if the spacer could become worthy of being named a hero, which the spacer boastfully claimed they could." Hero of what? Also, this sentence is quite confusing. You say that the hermit wondered if the spacer can be that hero, although in the next part you say they could.
 * 8) **This little bit is taken almost verbatim from the conversation between the two. First the hermit is unsure, and your response is to say that you can be the hero, and has the hermit respond that maybe you could. SWG at its very worst writing, I'm afraid. However, it doesn't really belong in the intro, so I removed it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***"The hermit required the spacer to show good faith toward him. He told the spacer to find a squill] skull he had misplaced, which the spacer retrieved. The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become the Hero of Tatooine." These short, choppy sentences can be condensed into one sentence. Also, keep in mind of pbp (play by play). pbp is discouraged, as it's not encyclopedic.
 * 10) ****Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * "The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become a hero." A hero of what?
 * 12) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * The intro is unusually structured, and could be condensed.
 * 14) **Condensed it into two paragraphs.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Be careful, as I see numerous of tense shifting in the intro.
 * 16) **Hopefully adressed. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * I see this "hero" pop up throughout the intro, and, as the reader, I don't quite understand what is going on. Can you explain eariler in the intro what this "hero" is about? I know what you mean (Galaxies-wise), but not everyone played the game.
 * 18) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * As for the intro condensing, the second paragraph of the intro has too much detail. You can explain what these "four traits" are, but straight-to-the-point. Same goes for the third paragraph too.
 * 20) **Fixed, condensed all four into a simple description of each task and rolled the third paragraph into the second.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Good job with the condensing of the paragraphs; however, I'm not sure what you meant with this sentence: "For the first task, one of intellect, the would-be hero found a bounty hunter in one of the settlements on Tatooine and assisted her in discovering who her target was amongst a group of smugglers." Specifically, "one of intellect". Same goes with "one of courage".
 * 22) ****It was meant to refer to the aforementioned task. While I don't see how it could be confusing, I clarified them.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Yes; clarification was needed.
 * 24) *That's it for now. I'll read the first section of "history" once the intro objections are fixed.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Hopefully this has all been addressed so you can move on to the next part. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Skippy Farlstendoiro objects the quest
 * 27) * Intro: I strongly believe that the qualities (Intellect, Honor, Courage, Altruism) should not use capital letters; they probably do so only as in-game words. Besides, in the History, they don't use capital letters.
 * 28) **Agreed, changed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Hist/A strange hermit:"the spacer quickly declared that they could become a hero." Do you mean he could? This is repeated in further paragraphs: "He told the spacer that if they truly wished", eg. I think "the spacer" can also be a group of spacers (players) and you alternatively refer to "the spacer" in singular or plural.
 * 30) **I used gender-neutral terms because the spacer, or spacers, can be any sex and virtually any species, or at least one of the playable species in SWG (Wookiee, Human, Rodian, etc). Also, the word they can refer to a single person, just something I had to use to keep it gender-neutral. As for using a group of spacers, while it is possible for a full group of 8 (the maximum in the game) to complete the quest together, the narrative of it is setup as if one person completed it at one time.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * The Mark of Intellect: Can you specify which "detective work" was performed to find the target? Interrogation, searching pockets, intimidation?
 * 32) **Clarified, it was interrogation.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The Mark of Honor: 1st paragraph. Let me see. The hermit met with the pirates and told the pirates to look for the two besieged ranchers the pirates were already harassing?
 * 34) **Clarified a bit that he is talking to the spacer.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * If the "startled woman" is Helen Goldenfield, I suggest to add her name to the text. Also, her husband's.
 * 36) **Made their names visible in the body.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * The Mark of Altruism: Context on the Sennex on first mention.
 * 38) **Added that they were a criminal group in their first mention of that section.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *Good job; I'm waiting for your next nom. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) The Grand Master's first look
 * 41) * Just at first glance, I'm seeing linking issues. Remember, link everything once in the intro and once in the body.
 * 42) **Could you elaborate?  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ***I don't see how further elaboration is necessary. Simply put, the article's linking is currently inadequate. Please go through the article and make sure that everything is linked appropriately. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ****Went through and linked some more things, but if you see anymore, please be specific.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) *Also seeing lots of unnecessary fluff. Remember, this is an article about a title; anything that is not of significant importance to the title should be removed. (i.e. is any of the following really necessary: "The star-hopper greeted the old man and they began to chat, the spacer initially wondering what someone was doing living in the bottom of a cave filled with such ferocious creatures. The hermit explained that he had lived there for so long, the squill no longer bothered him. The conversation quickly turned to the sad state the galaxy was in, the hermit bemoaning the fact that criminals and pirates traveled freely, that the Old Republic had been shattered, the Jedi hunted to extinction, and that over all this, the shadow of the Galactic Empire loomed overhead." ?)
 * 46) **While I agree the initial part about why the hermit was living in the cave isn't necessary and I removed it, I believe the second part is needed to understand the reasoning behind the title and the adventure that went into it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I understand where you're coming from, but I still think it's too fluffily worded; a couple parts of the article could easily be cut down to be more concise. Also remember, this article should be mainly about the title. Right now it sounds more like it's about these characters' storylines. (And I understand that the quest is important, but right now it seems to be the article's focus, as opposed to the title itself. Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ****The article being less about the title and more about the adventure that went into it's creation and how the spacer gained it is intentional. I was trying to find a way to present these events and I didn't see any better way to go about it. The title is informal and didn't exist until the spacer did the things they did (which I added a note about to the intro).  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *****Okay, but the fact remains that this article is supposed to be about the title. What I would suggest to do would be to state the basic steps required to recieve the separate Marks and eventually the Hero of Tatooine title, and then just summarize how the spacer did it.) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ******I trimmed down the intro. Look it over and see if that is what you were looking for. However, I must still disagree with this objection for the various reasons I have already stated.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 20:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *******Yes, the intro looks fine now, but it's the body I'm concerned about. The point I'm trying to make is that this is an article about a title. Trying to include every aspect of the quest in this article would be like taking the Jedi Master article and explaining how each Jedi Master made it to the Jedi Master level (including each and every mission along the way that helped to elevate them to the position), which would not only make the whole article very unwieldy but would also completely lose the focus of what the article was about to begin with. That information belongs in the character article; not the article about the title. As a title article, it should have information about the title itself, and then a summary of how the title could be obtained. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:14, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ********OK, by your reasoning, to me, there's no reason to have anything past the intro, which isn't much of an article to me.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 00:59, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) *********That's not what I'm suggesting; the main point is that this is an article about a title and not an event. Therefore, the article's focus should be the title and a summary of how it is acquired. The way it reads now, it sounds like the article is about the storyline/quest. Yes, the quest is essential to the title, but it does not need to be nearly so play-by-play as it is now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:21, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:20, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) *I understand that the spacer's gender has not been confirmed, but please use other pronouns than "they", because this can be confusing. (i.e. at the beginning of the body, you say "In 1.5 ABY, during the height of the Galactic Civil War, a lone spacer was exploring the Squill Cave on Tatooine. They ventured deep&hellip;" "They" who? I'd suggest using "the spacer" and synonyms for such. Also, please make a note of this unconfirmed gender in the BTS.
 * 56) **Hopefully addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***Still seeing lots of "They"s referring to the spacer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * Also in the BTS, you should never address the reader as "you"; instead, simply refer to "the player" and synonyms for such. ("If the player is a supporter of the Galactic Empire and tells the hermit such when you initially talk to him, the hermit will refuse to offer the quest and tells you to return to him when your opinions have evolved.") Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Also, please change the "A strange hermit" heading, as "strange" is too POV. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) **Changed the heading to "The hermit in the cave".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:38, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * O_o our first title nom too. Not an easy task, since there's no set layout or infobox to use. Kinda reminds me of Grunny's first nom. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 15:33, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes it did seem rather daunting to take on something without any precedent, but I really liked the quest chain and wanted to do it justice.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 15:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Grunta

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 20:40, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This article is short like a Dug.

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Only objection fixed, has my support.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 00:47, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:28, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:08, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:15, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  CC7567  (talk) 05:15, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Just one note
 * 2) * In the intro, it says "In 0 ABY, a few months after the Battle of Yavin, Grunta encountered the rebels Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, who were accompanied by Han Solo...", where it says Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, since it only mentions two people, shouldn't it be separated by an "and" instead of a comma? Just looks off the way it is now. Other than that, looks good.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 23:55, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fixed. ToRsO bOy 00:46, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Call me Skippy. It'd be my pleasure to object your article. Friend.
 * 5) * Bio: Mention that Grunta lived in Muunilinst, and/or that Pilaan was in Muunilinst.
 * 6) **Lol at the intro. Residency in Pilaan mentioned. ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Exactly my point: No information should be only in the intro. Objection pending. Skippy Farlstendoiro
 * 8) ****Sorry I'm not clear on this. What info did I leave only on the intro? I already mentioned Grunta resided on Muunilinst on both intro and bio. ToRsO bOy 09:02, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * With Grunta's death, all of the other Muuns who were competing against Kenuun were… "All of the other Muuns"? But Grunta was not a Muun, and no other Muun was mentioned in this section. I don't get it.
 * 10) **Fixed. ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * Ultimate Alien Anthology mentions that a Dug is roughly 1 meter tall, so Grunta would not be "considerably shorter than most of his kind." How do you think we could reword this article to not contradict U.A.A.?
 * 12) **Reworded.ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:31, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) Toprawa:
 * 15) * Even though the Layout Guide allows for a "Skills and abilities" section, I really don't feel one is warranted in this case. The only really relevant part of the S/A is the first sentence. Everything there can and should just be incorporated into the P/T.
 * 16) **Merged ToRsO bOy 07:38, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***You can still definitely keep the information that was there, I just recommend moving it into the P/T, possibly with some wording tweaks. Feel free to play around with that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:40, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ****2nd attempt at merging. ToRsO bOy 08:29, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *Not an objection, but a reviewing note. When referring to members of the Rebel Alliance, the term "Rebel" is always capitalized. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:46, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks I'll remember that ToRsO bOy 07:38, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Cylka:
 * 22) *You mentioned the Battle of Yavin in the intro, but not in the main body.
 * 23) **Added. ToRsO bOy 10:34, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *an Imperial assassin secretly using the alias Tobin Elad. - Do they know he's an Imperial assassin? I'm not familiar with the material and this statement doesn't make it clear to me. This may confuse others who don't know the material either.
 * 25) **Added. ToRsO bOy 10:34, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *Haari Ikreme Beeerd, who was a crewman for another podracer, even befriended Solo and treated the crowd to another round of drinks. - Was this at the track, or someplace else? It may be worthwhile to give a bit more context.
 * 27) **Added. ToRsO bOy 10:34, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) *An interesting read. Cylka  -talk- 02:33, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **Thanks for the review. ToRsO bOy 10:34, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) *"Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A vampiress&hellip;

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) If she was no longer a member of the Jedi Order I would give her a different infobox. Either Dark Jedi or the basic character infobox.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 09:36, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *You're right, changed to normal character infobox, since there is no evidence she was a Dark Jedi.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Attack of the Clone
 * 4) * Please establish a time frame in both the intro and body.
 * 5) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Can the city and planet get linked?
 * 7) **Don't see how. Are they really important enough for their own articles?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***If they exist in canon and are unique, I fail to see why they don't.  CC7567  (talk) 21:43, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The Jedi Master's Force powers: specifically how, seeing as he's dead?
 * 11) **That is what Z-18 tells Windu in the comic.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Please avoid starting two consecutive sentences with "After" in the body.
 * 13) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Please employ the proper capitalization that the MOS provides for titles.
 * 15) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Was she Force-sensitive or not?
 * 17) **Since she was a Jedi, then yes, she was.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I see absolutely nothing in the article that reflects this, which is why I asked in the first place.  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****So should I add that she was a Force-sensitive? I didn't think that was needed for Jedi-related articles.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****At the very least, you need to add the proper category.  CC7567  (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Rajine informed him that it was because she had been draining his life-force." So what does that say about what she began to do from the instant that Windu arrived in her city?
 * 23) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ***That means that you need to say, "When Windu arrived in the city, Rajine began to drain his life force."  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Starting two consecutive sentences off with "After" resurrects the same problem that I asked you to fix earlier.  CC7567  (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Sorry, taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * Why did Z-18 have to free Windu?
 * 29) **Since his intentions were not relevant to Rajine, I didn't add anything. Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ***No, that's not what I meant. If he has to be freed, you're implying that he was imprisoned somehow. Kindly clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ****I added "After imprisoning him" in the paragraph above, which should clarify it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * Please make sure that every detail in the last paragraph of the Bio is completely relevant to Rajine and shorten it if possible.
 * 33) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "She punched Windu, knocking the Jedi to the ground. She also used Windu's lightsaber to destroy Z-18, remarking that she should not have kept the droid after Samuro died. Windu revealed that he had Samuro's holocron and activated it." Extremely p-b-p. The jump from her sending her minions out to find Windu to punching him is rather sudden and unexplained.
 * 35) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * Most of the P&T sounds like it's just copied from the Bio and doesn't show what sort of impact her actions had on her personality. Please try to expand it.
 * 37) **Not much to work with, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * No more images that can be added from the comic?
 * 39) **Well, there are, but I can't scan any images and upload them.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***So can someone else with the comic upload them, then?  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I'll ask around.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *****As I'm not that much of a stickler about images, I'll strike this so that it doesn't hold up the nomination, but please still try to find another image to add to the article. (If you can't get any more images focusing on her, you might consider adding any of the already uploaded ones with a caption to clarify its relevancy to her.)  CC7567  (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *I will be running through this with you one more time to make sure that it's in good shape. Please continue to work on your grammar.  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **Ok, then. Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * In the intro, how is Windu's search for Alpha-2 Squad relevant to Rajine? Please clarify this better without saying the exact same thing that the body does.
 * 46) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *I rather doubt that the clones of Alpha-2 Squad were dead if they simply reawakened after Windu freed their life-forces. Windu's beliefs aren't necessarily the canonical interpretation of the events.
 * 48) **Rajine's, Samuro's, and Z-18's entries in the CSWE state that they are indeed zombies.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***Then if the CSWE states that, you need to source it to there. However, the sources are clearly conflicting unless a "zombie" is still alive, because the clones and the rest of her victims quite obviously weren't dead when they reawakened after they were freed. Please find a way to clear up this issue.  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****It's sourced there, but I don't think I'll be able to find any canon way of clearing this issue up.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *****Perhaps ignoring the CSWE's interpretation and adding a Bts note on why you're doing so? Leaving the issue there isn't going to solve it&mdash;it needs to be addressed one way or another unless it's completely impossible to do so, which I don't believe that it is.  CC7567  (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * Limit the use of "freed" in the intro.
 * 53) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:09, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) * Is there any significance to Z-18's line that Rajine had expected Windu?
 * 55) **I don't think this has relevance to the bio.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ***It could be that she was able to sense his presence.  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ****Maybe, but without official clarification I can't say this for sure.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * Is there any significance to Rajine's line, "Perhaps, but I'll live far longer than you"?
 * 59) **I added a bit more to the second paragraph of the bio, including this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ***Any relevance to the P&A, perhaps?  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:28, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) *Please check the article against the comic to make sure that everything necessary is there.  CC7567  (talk) 04:56, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) **I think everything's there.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Comments''
 * Anyone who owns Clone Wars Adventures: Volume 9 and can upload images, please let me know.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Ludo Kressh's pedicure

 * Nominated by: Calithlin (comlink) 18:30, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hilarious amount of information for a malevolent nail trimmer.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Preliminaries
 * 2) * Expand the intro. One that only consists of one sentence is not adequate.
 * 3) **Expanded the intro. Not sure if it should be longer/more detailed without ruining the rest of the article.Calithlin (comlink)
 * 4) * Full sourcing is required in the infobox and body if there's more than one appearance.
 * 5) **Added sourcing Calithlin (comlink)
 * 6) * Speculation does not belong in any article on Wookieepedia.
 * 7) **Removed/edited what I think you thought was speculation. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 8) * Nothing to specifically describe the set? Not even in a "Description" section?
 * 9) **Described what could be described in new description section. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 10) *Please make sure that you are absolutely confident that the article adheres to every single one of the GAN Rules listed at the top of this page, which should ideally be done before nominating an article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Driveby!
 * 12) * Source the Fact tag. Xd  20:13, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **The one about what was inside of it? I figured it was all I could do to make the description section more than one sentance long, since it is never shown what is inside. I'll move that to behind the scenes.
 * 14) Nayayen
 * 15) *"The artifact was later discovered by agents of the Jedi Covenant and taken to the Sanctum of the Exalted for study, and later discovered by Zayne Carrick and his partner, Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph." This sentence is too long, please break it up a bit.
 * 16) **Broke this up.
 * 17) ***Perhaps add a little bit to say why/what they were investigating?  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * "Ludo Kressh slowly executed every member of her family one-by-one." I can't find anything saying that he killed them one-by-one, just that he killed them.
 * 19) **Changed to 'Ludo Kressh executed every member of her family, starting with her father'
 * 20) * Your linking needs improvement: link once at the first mention in the infobox, intro and main body of the article.
 * 21) **Added/removed links to follow as detailed above.
 * 22) * The content for the "JAQ1" ref should be put into Cite web. You'll probably want to use the link, title, access date, author and format fields.
 * 23) **Done and done.
 * 24) * There isn't really a need to include "Gryph" in Hierogryph's name when you first mention him because you don't use the nickname anywhere.
 * 25) **Removed.
 * 26) * The Bts doesn't need to summarise the events you've already described in the history. It should contain information about what it was portrayed in.
 * 27) **Hacked out all the story elements.
 * 28) *Nothing more from me on an interesting choice of article.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  15:58, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) I could find nothing in the eBook source mentioning the pedicure set. And the Q&A only confirms that the pedicure set found in the KotOR comics is Ludo Kressh's actual pedicure kit. I don't think this article should include the other source. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:19, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Taquito

 * Nominated by:-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:57, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He was a half year on the stock. Short and without mistakes (I hope).

(0 ACs/4 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) After some changes.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:57, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) With the assurance that CC's objections will be taken care of. -- Xd 15:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Good job.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) 4 user votes. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:02, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) <S>For now, I do think it's quite unnecessary to add that bit of trivia in the BtS. Very redundant.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:30, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well, but Rule 13 says, that a P&T section should be there if available.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:52, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **He's not talking about the P&T; he's talking about the reference to the Mexican dish. And Jang is correct - that shouldn't be in there unless an official source states that this guy was specifically named after the dish. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:22, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ah, that wasn't from me. I removed it and you're completely right. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:04, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Soresu
 * 6) * Normally this would be under sofixit, but since English isn't your best language, I'll try to point out some stuff. The Separatists' also left Remember, apostrophes are only used to show ownership or to contract words. If you are just using the plural form, they aren't needed.
 * 7) **Okay, corrected. (Actually it's my second best language.)
 * 8) * The inhabitants believed the grid to be a god they called "Drol". Probably best if you specify whether this includes Taquito. This is both the intro and bio.
 * 9) **Added.
 * 10) * Many starfighter pilots tried to get through the grid, but they were all unsuccessful and their ships were destroyed. Taquito also tried, but like those before him, his ship was destroyed by the grid. Could you use some synonyms? These two sentences are very similar.
 * 11) **Used synonyms.
 * 12) * Although Taquito was brave enough trying to get past the laser grid, his piloting abilities didn't match his bravery and resulted in his death. Could you reword a little? Also, you could mention his belief in Drol. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:23, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Reworded and added. Thanks for the review, Soresu. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:19, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Arg. That sentence still doesn't flow well. I can't think of a great way to do it either. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 20:57, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:01, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *****That sentence is fixed, but why has the sentence on Drol been removed? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:17, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ******We do not know that he believed in Drol. It is nowhere stated. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:31, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *******Ah; I had assummed that when you addressed my second objection, that Taquito was a believer. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:02, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) Xd
 * 20) * Intro: "Taquito was a male Rodian pilot and a friend of Jaybo Hood. During the Clone Wars, he lived on the Outer Rim planet of Iego, which was invaded by the Confederacy of Independent Systems. When the Separatists left, they installed a laser grid system over Iego which destroyed all ships that tried to leave the planet." Again, why is Jaybo first? Could you reword these sentences to something like "Taquito was a male Rodian pilot who lived during the Clone Wars. He lived on the Outer Rim planet of Iego, where he befriended Jaybo Hood. Iego was invaded by the Confederacy of Independent Systems and when they left, a laser grid system was installed which destroyed all ships that tried to leave the planet."
 * 21) **Reworded.
 * 22) ***Now it reads a bit strange. Is it possible to mention Hood in the following sentence. It just doesn't fit into that.
 * 23) ****Better.
 * 24) * Intro: Any reason why Drol is in italics?
 * 25) **You're right it's no ship. Removed.
 * 26) * Bio: Could you move the fact that he was a friend of Jaybo after the fact that he lived on Iego?
 * 27) **Changed.
 * 28) * The P&T is quite messy. First you mention that he died and then that he believed in Drol. Switch these two.
 * 29) **Switched.
 * 30) * Airdate for MoaTM?
 * 31) **Added.
 * 32) * In the intro, you don't capitalize laser. In the P&T, you do. Decide which one is correct.
 * 33) **Eh, I don't see what you mean.
 * 34) ***There was a capitalized Laser in the P&T :P
 * 35) *-- Xd 18:53, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) **Thanks for the review, Xd. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:18, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ***No problem. Xd  19:53, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) Lee, please double check your reference in the BtS. You should know what's wrong with it. Also, you're missing sources. Did you check every available TCW source?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:23, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *Corected. Yep, all checked. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:27, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) **Reference is correct, though are you sure that you're not missing anything? I don't want to add this for you, Lee, because you should know what's missing.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:36, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) ***Sorry Jang I don't know what you mean.
 * 42) ****You're missing a sources section, and anything that mentions Taquito should be included. In this case, the episode guide should be listed.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:42, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *****I didn't see the forest due to the trees. Added and thanks. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:49, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) The clone
 * 45) * Conflicting dates in the article. "c. 22 BBY" is not equivalent to "by 21 BBY," the latter of which the bio implies.
 * 46) **I don't know who added by 21 BBY, but I don't really get what you mean.
 * 47) ***If I may butt in: The bio says "During the second year of the Clone Wars...". TCW is supposed to take place around 22 BBY. That's what CC is objecting to, if I understand it correctly. -- Xd 18:04, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ****Yep, but the 21 BBY is sourced, while whe don't know if Taquito died in 22 BBY (infobox) or in 21 BBY (bio). -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:29, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *****The article still implies two very different things. You need to be consistent and incorporate all the known facts from canon.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ******I used the info of the source book.
 * 51) *******Additionally, however, if we know that the Separatists installed the laser grid during the Clone Wars, we have a start marker for the period in which his death is known to take.  CC7567  (talk) 00:59, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ********Correct ?
 * 53) *********Removing the end marker doesn't solve it. It needs to read "Between 22–21 BBY" with the appropriate sources.  CC7567  (talk) 20:12, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) **********Sourced with Episode 2 and the source book. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:02, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Still prominent and rampant grammar errors throughout the article, falling under Rule 1.
 * 56) **In which part?
 * 57) ***"Throughout the article." You should be able to spot them yourself and be able to fix them if you've learned anything from the GAN process and what our expectations are.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) ****Given a copy-edit by Master Jonathan.
 * 59) * Missing info from Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Visual Guide Ultimate Battles, which falls under Rule 3. The info should have already been there before the article was nominated.
 * 60) **Bah, I didn't know that there was info in there. I'll look fore someone who has it.
 * 61) ***Asked JangFett and Jawaman. If I recieve no answer till Monday I'll buy the book. Added it tothe source list. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:10, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ****Will give a proper review pending the addition of the info.  CC7567  (talk) 19:08, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * Lack of a proper Pronounced template.
 * 64) **What?
 * 65) ***It's used to provide a proper pronunciation for the article's name.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * Assumptions being made that are not stated or implied in any sources. You should only be reporting pure facts and not adding connections that have not been drawn by canon.
 * 67) **Removed.
 * 68) ***Where does it say that he lived on Iego? Definitely not in the episode.  CC7567  (talk) 00:59, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) ****Changed and removed the speculation. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:02, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) *Lee, everything else I intend to say is what I've said too many times now, and you'll notice that the majority of these objections are similar to ones that I and others have made for close to all of your previous nominations. Please improve the article if you intend to see it through.  CC7567  (talk) 04:35, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) **CC I can assure you that I do my best to promote the articles I nominate. I will work on your objections. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:01, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***Time and time again, I've told you that the GAN process isn't an English school. You are simply being judged by what the ACs expect from every single nominator on the site, even more so from your experience and extra time here.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) * Shorten the details in the last paragraph of the Bio. They aren't all directly relevant to him.  CC7567  (talk) 00:59, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) **Shortened. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) ***If you want it still shorter please say so. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:02, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) Who I am is not important&hellip;
 * 77) *Since this is the first time I'm reviewing one of your articles, I want to say that I am usually familiar with the subject material of the articles I review. This review will be presented to you as if I had no inkling of the EU, so&hellip;
 * 78) * Timeline needs to be established in intro and bio.
 * 79) **Added.
 * 80) * "''Taquito was a male Rodian who lived on the Outer Rim planet of Iego and a good friend of the Human youth Jaybo Hood." Can you split this sentence into two different ones?
 * 81) **Splitted.
 * 82) * "At some point during Clone Wars&hellip;" Can you put a "the" in between "during" and "Clone Wars"?
 * 83) **Done. -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) * "The Separatists left a LaserWeb Defense Station surrounding the planet&hellip;" Could you reword "left" to something like "installed" around the planet?
 * 85) **Replaced. -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) * "''After they found the roots, they tried to leave but were forced to return to Iego due to the laser field." Could you remove one of the "they"'s and specify who is "they"?
 * 87) **Replaced with "After the Jedi found the roots, they tried...". -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) * "He managed to send a last-minute distress call," To where?
 * 89) **Not stated.
 * 90) * "A citizen named Amit Noloff showed the Jedi a hologram of Taquitos' death to prove that Drol was not a myth." A couple of things here. First, normally I'd correct this for you, but "Taquitos'" should be "Taquito's". Second, is Noloff trying to prove that Drol existed really pertinent to Taquito's article?
 * 91) **Yes, I think show. It's directly relevant to him.
 * 92) ***Good enough for me.
 * 93) * "and so enable&hellip;" I think this could be changed to just say "enabling".
 * 94) **Replaced it with "..the Jedi were able to destroy the laser grid, allowing the inhabitants.." let Lee/me know if you think there's a problem with it. -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) * The species and gender of the characters are usually referred to in the P&T.
 * 96) **Added.
 * 97) * "Taquito was brave enough trying to get past the laser grid, but his piloting abilities didn't match his bravery and like many others he was killed by the laser grid." A few things, I feel this sentence should be split in two different ones. You need to specify where the laser grid was, around Iego's orbit. Rather than saying "Taquito was brave enough", you might want to say "Taquito showed bravery in attempting to get past the laser grid", or something like that.
 * 98) **Changed.
 * 99) * You should mention something about his friendship with Jaybo Hood.
 * 100) **Added.
 * 101) **There is nothing about it, at least not in the episode. All Jaybo says about him is the lead quote. -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 102) ***True, but since he was a friend of his, I feel it can be acknowledged in the P&T, like, he befriended him during his time on planet or something.
 * 103) *That all for now. Take care of these and I'll take a look at it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:31, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 104) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:34, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) Attack II
 * 106) * I honestly do not believe that that holographic image is detailed enough to denote eye color. Kindly clarify.
 * 107) **Removed.
 * 108) * Why is "Drol" relevant to the intro?
 * 109) **Unnecessary and removed.
 * 110) *As a note, the intro cannot be a simple, shortened copy-pasted version of the bio. Please vary your word choice and phrasing next time.
 * 111) **I will.
 * 112) *Please make use of the known dates in the Bio.
 * 113) **Better?
 * 114) ***I don't see any change.  CC7567  (talk) 22:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) *Next time, please make sure that the article follows all of the GAN requirements before nominating it.  CC7567  (talk) 00:05, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) **Thanks for your review. I will mind your objections before my next nomination. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:22, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) ***And I asked Jonathan about The Complete Encyclopedia. He has no entry.

Comments
 * In the episode guide it is not stated who voiced him, so there can't be that info in the BtS.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:05, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Hope you don't mind I took care of a few objections, Lee. -- Xd 13:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Unidentified clone trooper officer (Tsui Choi)

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a documentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *****I'll strike this for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) *How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 31) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 32) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ******You haven't added anything about his status as a clone stormtrooper. (And the infobox still reads "commander") NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *******Changed that in the infobox, but we have no source that he became a stormtrooper. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ********The fact that he is a clone trooper who transerred into the Empire army means he is a clone stormtrooper per works such as Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader or even, I believe, Star Wars: Battlefront II.
 * 38) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 39) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 40) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **Added.

Comments
 * 1) A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Tingel Arm campaign

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:53, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(1 ACs/4 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Only a few minor things. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:34, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done, Trayus.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:36, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:54, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Graestan ( Talk ) 05:14, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Please watch your linking, as the article was particularly lacking in it.  CC7567  (talk) 05:26, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Same objection as the next nomination: a date is listed in the infobox but mentioned nowhere in the article. Please handle this so I can give a fuller review of both.  Graestan ( Talk ) 01:04, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done.
 * 3) **Same sub-objection as below. Intros need to include all important data. And sign your posts. Graestan ( Talk ) 13:51, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***The date is in the intro&mdash;it's a pipelink. Just because it's not done exactly how you want it doesn't mean it's incorrect. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:19, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****He doesn't have to sign his posts; at least, I don't sign all my posts when addressing an objection on the GAN page. It's just a quirk. Could it be a good idea to do that? Probably. Is it necessary? No.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:17, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****It's a courtesy, so you know who posted. I like to know who's working on things; sometimes other people help on FAN/GAN nominations. In this case, I had to go through the page history (and you know what that looks like) in order to make certain it was he who posted. As far as the date goes, I merely glanced. My mistake. I wasn't going to make a full review before the little things were taken care of. Please check the attitude, guys; no offense was meant. Graestan ( Talk ) 14:47, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ******I apologize if there was any percieved attitude, as that was not my&mdash;and I'm certain not Chack's either&mdash;intent. it's just highly uncommon that an issue be made out of signatures on nomination pages. I'll be sure to do so in the future, however. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:21, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Your article on the Fall of Korriban makes it sound as though the entire navy was sent only after the Tingel Arm taskforce found themselves surrounded. However, in the intro of this article, it sounds as though the whole navy was sent from the beginning. Which is true?  Graestan ( Talk ) 16:58, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Addressed. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:21, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) It is necessary to at least cursorily explain the Sith Empire's exile from the known galaxy, if their return is to be referred to offhand.  Graestan ( Talk ) 05:00, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *Done. I excluded it here because I wanted to avoid restating the origins of the Empire for every Great Galactic War battle prelude, but I suppose it's understandable for an early battle, like this one. I don't think any past this point should go in depth on the Empire's history, though. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:11, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **Understandable, just anywhere their return is mentioned, really. Once they are in the thick of the war, not returning from anywhere, there is no departure to explain. Good work on this and Fall of Korriban. Graestan ( Talk ) 05:14, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * In regards to the article's name: I decided to create this page under Tingel Arm Campaign because it appeared to me that, given the span of time over which it occured, the fact that ships from across the galaxy were sent to reinforce the operation, and the region in which it occured (three planets and two sectors is kind of large for a single battle), that this conflict was actually a series of battles within the Tingel Arm. It's never specified one way or another in the timeline, and so I never specified it n the article itself. The article is, however, conjecturally titled, and I hope the clears that up. If it's a major issue, any alternative suggestions for the title would be greatly appreciated.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:53, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Fall of Korriban

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:One after the other.

(2 ACs/5 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 04:13, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) A good read overall. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 04:45, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:25, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) The "not-main image" is great. -- Xd 18:56, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) This thing needs ACvotes. It's damned clean. Graestan ( Talk ) 05:10, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 23:16, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  CC7567  (talk) 05:34, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * the Outer Rim world of Korriban fell back into the control of the Sith. Fell back? I suggest removing, since you haven't established that it used to belong to the Sith yet.
 * 3) **Didn't remove, but I gave it context. See if that's satisfactory.
 * 4) * Following the Empire's defeat in the war, the surviving Sith abandoned Korriban and fled into the Unknown Regions. Following the Jedi Civil War, Following is repetitive.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * One such location was Korriban. You should link this more clearly to the previous paragraph than "such", especially since you start a new section. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:34, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Done. Thanks for the review.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 01:24, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) For starters, a date is given in the infobox, but not mentioned anywhere in the article.  Graestan ( Talk ) 01:03, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added.
 * 10) **Intro wouldn't be a bad idea, either, considering the intro is supposed to sum up the most important facts. And please sign your posts. It says this in the edit window. Graestan ( Talk ) 13:49, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***It's in there now. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:21, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Graestan: You're going to find some -type stuff in here, but I am merely trying to highlight some errors, nothing more:
 * 13) * I don't understand how this is so: "Korriban was the ancestral homeworld of the Sith Order and its Empire, and so became an early target for the Imperial forces upon their return to the known galaxy." How does it make it easy? I understand likely, but not easy.
 * 14) **I'm not seeing "easy" anywhere. Please explain. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) ***I can't read. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:37, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Was not Korriban the homeworld of the Sith species? That deserves a mention. As it stands, it reads like the Sith Empire, whether or not it included genetic Sith, chose Korriban as a homeworld.
 * 17) **Added in the body. I left it out of the intro because it seems extremely irrelevant for a section meant for condensed info. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Context is needed for the "Jedi Civil War," if even a mention is necessary of it. A timeframe would work just as well. Or perhaps a mention that another Sith Empire had occupied and utilized Korriban. Two had, really. This of course would require more context in the next sentence, to avoid confusion about which Sith Empire.
 * 19) **Done.
 * 20) * Please punctuate complete thought in image caption.
 * 21) **Done this little thing, if Trayus doesn't mind. -- Xd 15:07, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Thank you very much, Xd. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * Don't you think that your article about the Tingel Arm theater should at least be pipelinked?
 * 24) **My apologies, I thought I had. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * The Cold War is mentioned in an image caption, and nowhere else, with zero context. Please provide some in the article somewhere. Ideally, more description of the conflict in which Korriban's fall takes place. It comes across as a pretty hazy situation. Please clarify.
 * 26) **There's no image caption that mentions the Cold War. I'm assuming you mean the quote attribution, and if so, then I've removed the mention, as it's not really necessary and apparently misleading. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) * These clauses are pretty much redundant; please merge: "turned the dry and arid world into a bastion for the training and education of Sith" and "reestablished the Korriban Sith Academy and dedicated it to the cultivation of a new generation of Sith who could continue the fight against the Republic." Was this a word-count maneuver?
 * 28) **No, it was not a word-cout maneuver. If you check the count, it's more than long enough to qualify for GA, with or without the statement. And I could care less about getting more words in&mdash;I've written enough articles to be past that. It was meant for clarification. The first statement states what they were going to use the planet for, and the second states how they were going to do it. Doesn't seem redundant to me. If they contained the same information, then I'd agree. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***The former is a more vague way of saying the latter, really. Sorry about the word-count comment. Someone being brusque with me on a different nomination further up the page ruined my mood. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:39, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ****No worries, and you're right. I've combined the sentences, so it's been addressed, hopefully. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *Lance Henriksen's really let himself go. :P Graestan ( Talk ) 14:42, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) **So true. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I imagine this one will require some updating when the actual game is released, but who knows when that will be. Not for a while, so for now, it's stable. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Skirmish in the Bandomeer hospital

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It's been too long&hellip; (ps. nope, no quotes)

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Damn 1st-person prose screwing up quote availability. Graestan ( Talk ) 22:45, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Pistol-whip FTW! SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:06, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 05:41, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * just one: while the firefight continued to rage outside. You need to establish that there was a firefight outside first. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:49, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Well, the 1st person prose just says a "gun battle" was going on, and doesn't give any more info on how it started than is already given. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:52, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Aw lame. Stupid 1st person prose :P. A firefight started outside or a firefight raged outside then? The word continued implies that there were earlier events, and since we don't really know them, I feel it's safer to avoid the word.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:56, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Hmm, shifted some wording around; should be better now. Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:01, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Better. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:06, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Geonosian spy

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An article with really weird quotes, although they all still relates.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) * Eh, could you modify the P&T image caption to a real sentence?
 * 2) **Try it now. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***It's still not a real one. Something like "The Geonosian spying on the Jedi" could work. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ****Actually, I think it's just fine. You can find similar caption in the article Galen Marek, in BtS. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *****Well, is Marek a FA/GA? -- Xd 14:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ******... ... good point. :P Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *******I took care of it myself, but for future reference, it's always "spy on" someone".
 * 8) ********Ol'right- thx. Kreivi Wolter 15:08, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Airdate for the episode?
 * 10) **Righto. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Source for that? You can source it to the Ep guide. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Sourced. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * Mention his homeworld in the bio as well.
 * 14) **Geonosis is mentioned already. Per TCW clone trooper articles, I dont think its really neccessary to give it further explanations. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Unsourced statement in the infobox.
 * 16) **Got it. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * The first section of the bio isn't completely sourced.
 * 18) **Fixed. Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *-- Xd 19:39, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Lee
 * 1) * Is there any source that Geonosis is his homeworld. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:50, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **It's rather obvious, but not confirmed. Removed. Kreivi Wolter 19:20, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Thanks. I rember Geonosian colonies on Hypori and aslong it is not confirmed that it is his homeworld infact, it shouldn't be there. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Images already asked from JMAS. Bless him for his helpfulness. Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Fnessian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 21:18, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Enter a new gender...

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:44, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice. Graestan ( Talk ) 05:07, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy keeping an eyestalk on alien species noms
 * 2) *a "dead or alive" bounty. Can you reword this so as to avoid the inverted commas? Something like "a bounty for either his capture or proof or his death"
 * 3) * You repeatedly say that Th'ronik stole the Morgannier and earned the ire of SoroSuub. Why? Did SoroSuub owned the Morgannier, or had subcontracted the ship?
 * 4) **That connection is never made in the source. It might be implied but it says no more than what I've written unfortunately.
 * 5) * undefined. Nice character but can't it be linked or anything? I mean, it's not obvious that it stands for "credits"; it might mean wupiupi or something.
 * 6) **Of course it stands for credits! :p I'm not sure if I can link it. I'll see. - Done, although not as a blue link.
 * 7) * More info on No Disintegrations if possible: Writer of the part mentioning Fnessians and artist drawing the depiction.
 * 8) **Unfortunately, while it is clear who wrote the various chapters, it doesn't say who wrote the appendix, nor are the artists identified. --Eyrezer 19:54, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *You do like eyestalks, don't you? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I actually feel that the phrase "Although not necessarily representative of the entire Fnessian species," needs to be there. It is not speculative in the OR sense and it provides a bit of an explanation as to why the following sentence is there. I'd like to put it back in... --Eyrezer 05:42, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Srrors'tok

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:05, March 11, 2010 (UTC) -
 * Nomination comments: Predatorial, growling furries with life-debts. Meet the poor sentient's Wookiees. From WEG, offered to you by WP:AS

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Malak (Rodian)

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:20, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Alek who? A Sith Lord? No, sorry, that name doesn't ring any bell.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great job, Skippy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:22, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From one Malak to another&hellip;
 * 2) * Is the "burly" in the intro necessary?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:19, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Maybe not. Gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:20, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Other than that, looks good to me, Skippy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:19, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can the template be used for the main quote?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:13, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nevermind.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:14, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Traavis

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Insert funny comment about this dude being named after Karen Traviss here&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Are we allowed to object to terrible naming choices?
 * 2) *"skirmish between the clones and the Separatist battle droids." A little context on the fighting forces.
 * 3) *Context on Supreme Chancellor Palpatine in the intro.
 * 4) *"Traavis, now a Jedi Knight..." He was part of the Jedi Order?
 * 5) *"During the clones' mission, Traavis received news that General Grievous, the Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Army, had been killed." This seems a bit tacked on the paragraph. Reword it a bit.
 * 6) *In the article, it referes to his troops as "the Aiwha Squad." is this the IU wasy to say it? If not it should simply be "Aiwha Squad."
 * 7) *This isn't really an objection, but is there any way to get either a picture of his death or of his lightsaber? They would make great additions to his Bio and Bts respectively.
 * 8) *At least he went out like a punk. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:27, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

C'borp

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 04:29, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: All power to the mighty Slugman.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Skippy laughed out loud with the Nomination Comment
 * 2) *Per the Bio quote, C'borp is on a first-name basis with his captain; I think this deserves mention as it suggests either a personal friendship with him or a lack of professionality of the crew (depending on the behievor of other crewbeings)
 * 3) *Three sources are not referenced in the body. No new info from any of those? Seriously?
 * 4) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:34, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Arhan

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 05:14, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Skippy; we'll eventually end CRO at this rate
 * 2) *Intro: from base-line Humansin What's Humansin?
 * 3) *Culture: No section? If you can confirm that Peert was a Human (unsourced in his article), then you can mention that Arhans married Humans.
 * 4) *History: A notable Arhan was Filice Ginzork. Was she in-universe notable?
 * 5) *Hist: The last sentence flows awkwardly. Could you move it to just before "Filice operated as the Shield's slicer" or before "Filice and Peert lost two of the original members"?
 * 6) *Good job, as always. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments