Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified Espo 1


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Espo 1

 * Nominated by: -- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 04:44, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:First in a total of four in the set.

(2 ECs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Coruscantfan 23:12, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2)  Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg  (Greetings)  03:56, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) Tinwe (comlink) 14:44, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) Great job!  NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:09, November 28, 2011 (UTC) ( Made you click! :P)
 * 5)  Gethralkin  Hyperwave 20:04, December 9, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 21:44, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Exiled Jedi
 * 2) * Please give some context on the Corporate Sector Authority and the Espos.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * How exactly can you say that the weapon is a projectile weapon instead of a blaster weapon? -- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  14:07, November 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 5) **You're right. I went ahead and replaced with "Gun".-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 23:09, November 25, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) Tinwe
 * 7) * You might want to add to the Bts that the illustration was made by Chris Trevas. The same goes for the other two Espos and the Trianii suspect, I'm just too lazy to copypaste this objection. :P Tinwe (comlink) 18:10, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 8) **I believe I hit them all.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 23:12, November 26, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) Rubedo
 * 10) * So far as I know, we aren't supposed to use acronyms in article titles. These three should be moved to either Unidentified Corporate Sector Authority Espo or just Unidentified Espo. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:38, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) **I debated about this when I wrote the article. The source specifically identifies him as a CSA Espo. Thus, I don't think there is any problem with naming him a CSA Espo. However, I don't intend to make a beef about this, and if you or someone else really wants it changed, I'll move it.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 02:25, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) ***I'm afraid I'll have to insist. It sounds like the caption identifies him as a "CSA Espo" like it was calling some soldier an "Alliance commando," in which case the government name is not part of the occupation title, but is actually just a statement that he belonged to that organization. In addition, other sources have the slang term as just "Espo" for the officers, not "CSA Espo." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:14, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Just to reiterate, the problem is that it's an acronym. You can spell out CSA if you want to. "Unidentified soldier" and "Unidentified Rebel soldier" are both acceptable titles. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 17:03, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Move completed.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 21:17, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 15) * "A male Human with fair skin was a Corporate Sector Authority Espo, the security police for the CSA government of the Corporate Sector." Two things. The character was the security police? You can't contextify this way because "the Corporate Sector Authority government of the corporate sector" is grammatically incorrect. What I think you tried to do here was something like "the CSA, the government of the Corporate Sector," but that apositive would also be wrong because it would be within another apositive, the one explaining what an Espo is. This sentence needs rewording. (P.S. I never get to use colors! :D)
 * 16) **Congrats on being able to use colors, :P and reworded.
 * 17) * One last thing. You shouldn't bold his species. His job is what's notable about the character (why he rated an article), not his race. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:30, November 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * 18) **I don't see anything particularly wrong with bolding his species, but meh. Whatever. Switched.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 02:36, November 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) Bob
 * 20) * I think you should retool the first couple sentences a bit. We're told that he's a Human twice (linked both times), but more importantly, you bold "Espo" with no explanation, when that's not a term someone unfamiliar with the source material will easily be able to parse.
 * 21) **See what you think.
 * 22) * The current prose also implies that the Trianii wore the armor and carried the gun.
 * 23) **Fixed.
 * 24) * Also, as a one-shot guy, you can probably ditch the word "first" in the BTS. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 15:35, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 25) **I don't see any problem with letting it stay, but whatever. Removed.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 15:49, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * Apparently there's an article for the Espo Armor, you might want to link it. Also, the Espo is probably holding this gun, but it's hard to say for sure as the article on said weapon lacks an image... Tinwe (comlink) 17:46, November 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * Linked. Left out the gun part, though, since it's not confirmed. Thanks for finding that stuff.-- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 22:16, December 5, 2011 (UTC)