Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Wampa


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(6 Inqs/5 Users/11 Total)
Support
 * 1) As nominator. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:41, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 05:27, 9 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 07:30, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Moving up.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:17, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) After looking at the review this got on GAN, it's definitely FA quality IMO. Good work, T&R.  Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 20:55, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Rambunctious. Harrar 18:38, 12 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Per Hobbes. I already wore my teeth out on this one. Good work, in both rounds.  Graestan ( Talk ) 05:55, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Yes!  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:15, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) One quote needed reformatting, but with that done, eez good Enochf 04:57, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 21:23, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:04, 18 January 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Ze intro, tis far too long and overdone. Is it canon that they're constantly stained by blood and guts? (3rd-grade tittering). I'd also recommend cutting that second paragraph altogether, as well as condensing the fourth one by moving the first sentence and cutting the other two.
 * 3) **Revised. Fourth paragraph all but removed; tacked the first sentence at the end of the first para.
 * 4) **The "blood and guts" is canon, according to Star Wars: Behind the Magic, though it could go. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:11, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * "deadly, fanged maw" is just a bit overdone. Reword it to something that sounds a bit more encyclopediac and less like a Galactic Nature Show with Teve Sirwin.
 * 6) **Removed "deadly." Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:47, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * "the wampa would rise to its hind legs to get a view, then charge forward in a deadly rush" is worded awkwardly.
 * 8) **Removed sentence altogether. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:47, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Remove this clause: "Although they had few weaknesses". It's POVish and unnecessary.
 * 10) **Adios. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:52, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * The attack on Echo Base section is a mite long. Condense it some, particularly the early parts, so there's less play-by-play.
 * 12) **Revised. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:24, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * " The base was soon filled with a hoard of claws and fangs glistening with the blood of fresh kills and the howling of deafening attack roars." Tone is all wrong; see objection above about Teve Sirwin.
 * 14) **Revised. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:24, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * " In an instant, an ancient holdover from one of his previous daring masters took over." Remove this sentence.
 * 16) **Agreed. Gone. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:57, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Other Hoth encounters should be integrated within the general history section in Chronological order.
 * 18) **Integrated ahead of "Attack" section. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:15, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * The Demolitions game section is, I believe, non-canon and should be separated appropriately.
 * 20) **Can we confirm this? Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:52, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ***My mistake. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:10, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **All objections addressed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:11, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) From the world of tomorrow!:
 * 25) * Dash Rendar finding the Wampa cages in Echo Base seems out of place since it hasn't been mentioned yet. Probably be better to put it in the "The attack on Echo Base" section in the appropriate place.
 * 26) **Yes. That got lost in the shuffle of moving sections around previously.
 * 27) * Hunting wampas for sport: Clarify how Luke and Callista managed to escape in their ship after it had been sabotaged.
 * 28) **"Attempt" to clarify KJA's madness would be more like it. ;)
 * 29) * Wampas in the galaxy, paragraph 7: Two sentences in a row say "was familiar enough with the creatures". Reword one.
 * 30) **Mixed it up a lil' bit.
 * 31) * Behind the scenes could be arranged more logically. It might be better to go chronologically, covering conception, filming, deleted scenes, then other appearances. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:58, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **Yes. Rearranged and looking much better.
 * 33) **Thanks, GT. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:42, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 18:07, 18 January 2008 (UTC)