Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Dyer


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dyer

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 02:03, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "Freeze!"

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:40, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) You Rebel scum. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 01:23, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:36, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 18:03, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Mauser  Comlink 02:33, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Nice work. --Eyrezer 12:26, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * In the intro, you say that Dyer "ordered his men to enter the base" while in the Bio it says he was already there.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * Mention the Endor Strike Team's intentions in storming the bunker.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "Dyer was described as a natural leader, who showed good leadership skills" Aren't these two facts basically the same thing?
 * 7) **Yeah, basically. Fixed.
 * 8) * A lot of the P&T seems to just retell parts of the bio.
 * 9) **I managed to cut down some of the recurring parts.
 * 10) * "Sound Designer Ben Burtt, who sound designed for both the Prequel and Original trilogies of Star Wars, " "Sound designer" and "sound designed" is repetitive.
 * 11) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:43, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Addressed, thanks for the review Floyd :)
 * 13) QGJ
 * 14) * For the Fact Files, you have to list exact pages that mention Dyer. Ask Borsk for help, he is the Fact File guru :P
 * 15) **Addressed and he fixed them :)
 * 16) *" a group of Rebels infiltrated the bunker and surprised the stationed Imperial troops inside the bunker" Bunker is repetitive.
 * 17) **Addressed
 * 18) * Both in the intro and the bio you state that the bunker "was made impenetrable", yet you later say that the Rebels did penetrate it. I think you should better say that the bunker was impenetrable from Dyer/Jerjerrod's point of view or something like that.
 * 19) **Addressed and removed. I didn't think it was necessary.
 * 20) *" a group of members of the Alliance to Restore the Republic, entered the bunker to try and destroy the shield generator, Dyer ordered his men to enter the bunker". Enter the bunker is also repetitive.
 * 21) **Fixed
 * 22) * "Dyer ordered his men to enter the bunker and confront the intruders." Next sentence: "After jumping out from behind a wall, Dyer confronted Rebel General Han Solo". Again, confront is repetitive.
 * 23) **Fixed :)
 * 24) * The last two sentences in the P&T still seem to just retell his bio. Try to reword it so that it showed more of Dyer's personality.
 * 25) **Fixed
 * 26) *That's all, I guess. Nice work. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:18, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Thanks for the Review QGJ :)
 * 28) Mauser:
 * 29) * "aided by Lieutenant Grond, Lieutenant Renz, and stormtrooper Sergeant Wallen" - only Grond was Dyer's aide. Wallen was assigned to his command and Renz simply took command after Dyer's death. No proof they were his aides.
 * 30) **Thanks for pointing this out Mauser. Fixed.
 * 31) *Could you get a better infobox image, where his mouth is not open?
 * 32) **I prefer this one, though I'll talk to JMAS about it :)
 * 33) ***Addressed.
 * 34) * Why did Endor Strike Team try to destroy the generator in the first place?
 * 35) **I believe the article mentions it. "infiltrated the bunker to destroy the shield generator"
 * 36) ***Yes, but add at least a sentence saying that it was to allow the Fleet to attack Death Star 2.
 * 37) ****Addressed
 * 38) *In the intro you say the Rebel surprised troops stationed in the bunker, it must be in the bio as well.
 * 39) **Addressed
 * 40) * You don't even say he ordered Solo to freeze?
 * 41) **That is needed :P Fixed.
 * 42) * Perharps you could get another images of Dyer, not just Burrt himself?
 * 43) **Nothing else but his little scene from RotJ.
 * 44) ***There was an image of him dying, you seem to hve removed it while working on the article.
 * 45) ****Oh yes, that long image. I believe due to the size of the article, it would be redundant to add more.
 * 46) * Your BTS is as big as the rest of the body. Maybe you could try to expand the bio somehow?  Mauser  Comlink 21:46, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **While there is little to no information about Dyer, I squeezed out as much info as I could from the sources. Thanks for the review Mauser.
 * 48) From the Council Chambers:
 * 49) * "When the Endor Strike Team, a group of members of the Alliance to Restore the Republic,": Unless you have a source to the contrary, "Endor Strike Team" is not a canonical formal name for the team. The manner in which it is currently used implies otherwise. Please reword.
 * 50) **I removed the "Endor Strike Team" and kept the context about them.
 * 51) *I don't see anything else that Mauser hasn't already pointed out. Good job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) **Thanks for the review Jonathan :)
 * 53) Mauser redux:
 * 54) * "Dyer then ordered his men to enter the base and capture the intruders." - what's the source for that? The card is not a source for that.
 * 55) **That was in RotJ. Fixed
 * 56) * Your bio read too much like play-by-play.
 * 57) **I believe Chack took care of that minor pbp part when he gave Dyer a copyedit.
 * 58) * Mauser  Comlink 01:25, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **Thanks for the second review Mauser :)
 * 60) ***Okay. Just one thing left and you'll be done with me. =)  Mauser  Comlink 01:19, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) "is character was unnamed and shown only as an Imperial officer pointing a blaster pistol at Han Solo.[7] Galaxy Guide 5 mentioned Dyer as the Imperial officer helping Moff Jerjerrod with securing the shield generator bunker on Endor.[4] His name wasn't established until the release of the 1998 Star Wars Encyclopedia.[6]" This is a bit unclear. You have GG5 mentioning Dyer but that his name wasn't established until later. --Eyrezer 05:09, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, not identified as "Dyer", but the Imperial officer. Fixed. Thanks for the review Ey :)

Comments
 * Not an objection, but it would be cool if you found out who portrayed Dyer in the radio dramatization. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:18, 31 July 2009 (UTC)