Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Koro Ziil


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Koro Ziil

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 22:05, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Going for my second FA nom

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total/INQCON 6)
Support
 * 1) How couldn't I? :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:44, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:09, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:32, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Graestan ( Talk ) 15:31, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * Work his "hu'aac-du'ul-staranjan" title into the biography, probably where he becomes the Hidden One.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * I think it's long enough that you could justify having an image or two to break it up. Something like this with a suitably neutral caption would work. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:01, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Added, feel free to change positioning/caption as you see fit. Thanks for the review :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:18, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Blacklist:
 * 7) * I thought that the Hidden Ones were dedicated to preserving not just Baran Do traditions, but also those of the entire Kel Dor race. Am I wrong?
 * 8) **I checked Outcast, and there aren't any mentions of the preservation of "Kel Dor" traditions, just Baran Do.
 * 9) * "Ziil also trained with Solo in combat." What kind of combat? Force combat? Melee combat? Please specify.
 * 10) **This also isn't really specified. I would assume Force-combat, but several Baran Do also dueled with staffs, and there is a possibility that they did this as well. As it stands, putting either/both of the above down would be a little too speculative.
 * 11) * "...Solo went on to find the Dark Lady of the Sith Lumiya and became the Sith Lord Darth Caedus, leading the Galactic Alliance in the Second Galactic Civil War." If I remember correctly, Lumiya found Jacen, not the other way around. I would reword anyway, to state that he was trained by Lumiya to become a Sith Lord rather than one finding the other.
 * 12) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:03, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * More later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:38, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * I'd also add a decent image of Luke, soewhere in either the "Unrest in the Hidden Ones" or the "Duel with Luke".
 * 15) **I added an image of him as Grand Master. Feel free to change it if you wish.
 * 16) * "Eventually, Skywalker proposed a duel between Ben and Saal&mdash;the best fighter of the Hidden Ones, and by far Ben's superior in combat. In order to get the Hidden One to accept the duel, he promised that if Ben lost, he and Ben would accept their fate and stay in the caverns. The Hidden One agreed to the proposal, and Saal and Ben were each armed with a hardwood staff. They dueled, with Ben emerging as the victor." This reads like it can be from anyone of the participating characters' bios. Please rework so that it is told from the Ziil's perspective.
 * 17) **I tried to reword it some. Better?
 * 18) ***Yes, good work. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "Ziil attacked the Jedi Master," Correct me if I'm wrong, but something happened after the canister incident to provoke Ziil into attacking, no? If I'm wrong, then pardon me, but as it is, it reads like Ziil just felt like flexing on Luke.
 * 20) **Nothing more happened to anger Ziil other than the Hidden Ones speaking out in protest.
 * 21) * The third paragraph of "Duel with Luke" is far too play-by-play.
 * 22) **Better?
 * 23) ***I'll take it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * The first paragraph of "Dissolution of the Hidden Ones" is far too colloquial.
 * 25) **I tried to reword this some. Let me know if I need to do more.
 * 26) ***No worries, I took care of it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * Format the P&T quote correctly. Normally I'd fix this, but you're getting more and more used to the FAN process, and these little mistakes are things you should be picking up on.
 * 28) **I was of the understanding that it could be done either way, but I changed it.
 * 29) ***When it is a two person, one line apiece quote, the way you changed it to is the correct format. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *Otherwise, not bad. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:46, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **Thanks for the review, Tommy :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:33, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Anytime, Jon. I haven't read Outcast in a while, so please forgive me for thinking I remembered stuff that wasn't actually there;) —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****No problem, thanks again. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:13, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) Cylka:
 * 35) * In the last paragraph of Duel with Skywalker, you refer to Ziil only as the Hidden One, which is inconsistent with the rest of the article. I believe that this would be better off if it was changed.
 * 36) **Changed.
 * 37) * Also, in the Duel with Skywalker section, I think that you shouldn't always use only Skywalker when speaking of Luke -- in order to keep it tidy. You could use first names or even the elder Skywalker.
 * 38) **Changed a few of them.
 * 39) * Luke later speculated that Ziil would either find a new way to continue his old goal - What was his goal? Only the preservation of knowledge or something more? This is a bit unclear to me.
 * 40) **Specified.
 * 41) * Is it significant that the Force lightening was white? I really don't have anything against leaving it in, but I am curious as to why it is included.
 * 42) **I don't know, probably not very significant; I guess I put it in because it's a rarity. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 13:14, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *Good work, Jon. Cylka  -talk- 09:21, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Thanks for the review, Cylka :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 13:14, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Motion to strike Cylka's objections (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 15:31, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Sorry Cylka. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:32, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:34, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) 2 weeks old. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:36, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:40, 8 July 2009 (UTC)