Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

Corran Horn

 * Nominated by: Havac 21:07, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is most certainly not the longest article in the history of Wookieepedia. No. It is a very short article and I encourage you all to review it.

(1 Inq/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Ryan Fett  ( For Mandalore! )[[Image:JaingHead.svg|20px]] 22:56, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Tom rules 09:07, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles 20:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Imperialles's objections:
 * 2) * Image:BattleofThyferra-crop.jpg's infobox lacks some fields.
 * 3) *I'll put Image:ScreenShot0153.JPG on my to-do list (not an objection).
 * Image:Corran Horn 4.jpg is sort of distorted. Possible to remedy at all?
 * 1) **Replaced with Image:Njo Corran.png. -- Ozzel 06:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nice work. --Imperialles 15:57, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Cluttered Workspace of Jorrel Fraajic (Part 1 of 4)
 * First off, a comment. This is certainly one of the largest undertakings I have ever done on the Wook - reading this article, I mean. In fact, in order to even think of such a thing, I had to go off and print the content of the article (barring pictures and templates). At 8pt font, 0.12" margins (save for a 2" margin on the right), and with images and templates culled, I was able to squeeze the entire article into a convenient 40-page document, suitable for printing. Without modifications, the entire article is 111 pages long. 111. I must say that I am entirely impressed. And, all that to say... Inqs who are looking at this article and saying "Damn", I suggest that you do what I did, and print out the article, be it in small chunks or as a whole thing. In paper form, it's a whole lot easier to concentrate and make notations than on a computer screen. In fact, it only took me about an hour to read through 10 pages of my 40-page doc.
 * TL;DR version: Print out the damn article and review it already, Inqs. It's not that hard to read. :P
 * Secondly, another comment. I realize that, as I'm not an Inq, my vote really has no weight in this matter. That being said, I really wanted to review this article. Not because I'm looking for a way to push into the Inq-ing status, not because I feel like messing with Havac, but because I know (from personal experience) that an FAN that has nothing happening to it is worse to have running than an FAN with objections and the like, showing that it's not catatonic. Nothing is worse than having a stale FAN sitting for weeks on end without people even making an effort. Hence, my objection list is as follows (note that this is part 1 of 4. Article's long!):
 * 1) *INTRO
 * 2) ** Second paragraph, latter part. Make sure that you make the point that, after the Bacta Wars, Rogue Squadron reformed. As it stands now, you have "led Rogue Squadron in resigning", followed by "continued his career in Rogue Squadron"... without any mention of Rogue Squadron actually reforming.
 * 3) *BIOGRAPHY
 * 4) **Formative years
 * 5) *** Second paragraph, last sentence: Where does it come from? It doesn't seem to fit within the paragraph it's attached to.
 * 6) **Capturing Zekka Thyne
 * 7) *** I've noticed this throughout all of the scenes where Corran and Hal are working together: You use a lot of "Horn" where either Corran or Hal could be placed. For example, look at paragraph 3, first sentence: "Horn headed to the freighter, the Hopskip, with the others..." The reader isn't entirely sure which Horn you're talking about, until later in the paragraph. As I said before, this seems to be pretty prevalent throughout the father/son scenes. Is it possible to persuade you to use first names for clarification's sake?
 * 8) ****Alright, the explanation works. Stricken.
 * 9) **Living with loss
 * 10) *** Second "paragraph" (yeah, the one with two sentences) - any chance you can expand this, or group it together with a relevant thought? As it stands, it's pretty much just floating there.
 * 11) *** More instances of "Corran/Hal Horn" - which one is it, etc.
 * 12) *** Third paragraph, 4th sentence (ref'd [8]): "Morose and constantly reliving the past, Horn was only brought back to the present when Wessiri and Bastra got him into a cantina brawl, helping him focus himself on living his life now." - The now at the end of this sentence just feels too... present-tense. Perhaps a change to "in the present", or something similar?
 * 13) **Becoming a Rogue
 * 14) *** Rephrase first paragraph, last sentence. The use of the semicolon there just doesn't feel right. My suggestion is to remove the semicolon, and put a small phrase, "due to his thoughts on", or something to that extent.
 * 15) **Activation
 * 16) *** 4th paragraph, 4th sentence; the "shred" here feels informal. Can I get a more formal description of the Lancer's abilities?
 * 17) **Readying to strike
 * 18) *** Paragraph 4, Last Sentence: Has "Black Sunners" ever been used IU? If not, I'd prefer a "Black Sun members", or something to that extent.
 * 19) ****Intriguing.
 * 20) *Aaaaand... that's it! (Part 1). I went through and touched some things up myself. Very good read, very long read, but very well done. I'm impressed, jealous, angry, frustrated, proud, and happy, all at once, after reading through this article. Once again, excellent job Havac. 07:25, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **Thanks to his notes on my talk page, all of Part 1 is resolved. 02:48, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) From the Red Book of Chack Jadson:
 * 23) *Right now, I'm only on Becoming a Rogue, but I'll get more done soon. Anyway, here's what I've got at this point.
 * 24) * Link the battles in the intro; there are several that could have links.
 * 25) * The prose in the first paragraph of drifting into danger is kind of dull.
 * 26) * You use the term cover identities twice in the first sentence of on the run.
 * 27) * The first two sentences of the last paragraph of on the run are also somewhat dull.
 * 28) *Ramble on.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:57, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * In Captivity: "The guard struck Horn with his blaster, and Horn retaliated by reflexively throwing his bucket of gravel into the guard." (Use Ctl+F) The bucket part isn’t needed, IMO.
 * 30) * In the last sentence of this section, you mention there Dlarit escaped. I’d add something along the lines of, now revealed as a traitor.
 * 31) * "Almost all the rest of Rogue Squadron followed suit." Who didn’t? I thought they all did, but I’m likely wrong.
 * 32) * "In 19 ABY, Horn, by then promoted to the rank of commander, and the rest of the Rogues were attached to General Bel Iblis, and were on Morishim when an Imperial corvette, followed by an Imperial Star Destroyer, entered the system." This sentence should be split into two.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:43, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) From the Cluttered Workspace of Jorrel Fraajic (Part 2 of 4)
 * Yes, me again. Don't worry, not as long a listing as the last one, I promise. Just an aside to Havac: When/if you have addressed objections, or if you need to ask a question on one of them, please use my talk page. I pay more attention there (and I realize you're stuck in the IP mode again).
 * Onto the objections!
 * 1) *BIOGRAPHY
 * 2) **The Bacta War
 * 3) *** Last paragraph, 5th sentence: Reads really awkwardly, almost to the point of run-on.
 * 4) ****Nice job.
 * 5) **Battling Zsinj
 * 6) *** Third paragraph, last sentence: Whose archenemy, Corran's or Zsinj's? From information presented earlier in the article, this feels ambiguous.
 * 7) ****Explanation makes sense. Just glad you elaborated on the reasons.
 * 8) *** Ninth paragraph, 3rd sentence: You just "drop" a mention to Fel in here, without a link or any previous explanation of just who Fel is.
 * 9) ****Cool.
 * 10) **The return of Isard
 * 11) *** Minor note, not an objection: I reworded the end of the 6th paragraph and the start of the 7th to read slightly better (in my opinion). Feel free to change it back if you don't agree.
 * 12) ****Ugh, that's... bad. Thanks for the revert.
 * 13) **Becoming a Jedi
 * 14) ***First sentence, 4th sentence, end of sentence: It may just be me, but the line "...Tavira was travelling with enforcers who might be Force-sensitives." feels almost-present-tense. Please reword.
 * 15) ****Obviously, just me, based on the information you presented.
 * 16) *And part 2 is done. Much less than last time. I went ahead and touched up some things in Corran's article too. 04:52, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **All objections from Review, Part 2 are satisfied, although I am slightly confused as to the reversion of many of my other edits as well. Just wondering. 02:48, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * You crushed Palpatine. On another note, I assume you meant to support?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:31, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Why is every damn person on the Wook asking me about this? The vote doesn't mean anything. Havac 17:50, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * All right...  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * TL;DR. -- Ozzel 09:33, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Technically, now you haven't voted for it.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:26, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Wow Havoc... and I thought it had gotten pretty long back when I was working on this... you blew that away, AND more or less re-did the entire article AND re-wrote it a lot better than my version. Anyways, while I'm probably not gonna be able to do much for at least a month until school gets out, just a couple quick things I noticed:
 * 1) Some of the section titles strike me as a bit unencyclopedic. For instance, "Supply run gone wrong" might want to be replaced by something like "Battle of Yag'Dhul" or "Return to Yag-prime," and "Drifting into danger" might want to be replaced with something like "Leaving CorSec." There are also some border-line section titles (Rogue rookie, Reign of terror)
 * 2) It could use some more pictures, especially in the the parts on Rogue Squadron and I, Jedi. That being said, having worked to this article before, I know there aren't a lot of pictures from that time of his life, so if you can't add any without making it seem really forced, that's fine.
 * 3) The lead quote is so long that it looks sorta unwieldy. You might want to think about trimming it down some.

Other than that, great Job!!!

Conclave on Deneba

 * Nominated by: —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 14:00, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: As nominator.

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) I remember helping this when he was only thinking GA... good times, good times. 14:31, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good show, Tommy. Thefourdotelipsis 06:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 06:19, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:14, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:58, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * For the outcome, also put phyrric Jedi victory, since the Krath did kill a lot of Jedi. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 17:10, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed. Thank you for loooking, Darthchristian. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 16:15, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I think there's a bit too much detail in the "Background" section, particularly in the second paragraph "Arrival on Deneba." The other paragraphs are basically fine, it's just that here you're not really presenting the background so much as you are describing the specific actions of specific actions. That's OK for the conclave itself but it's not quite relevant, given what the article is about. "adding a unique and personal take on an already established story." is POV. Thefourdotelipsis 03:56, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed, and addressed. As always, thank you Fourdot for looking. If there are more, I'll be more than happy to address those as well. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 23:28, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Grass clippings:
 * 2) *The intro should be expanded a bit more, to reflect all the information presented in the article body, including the participants.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *A date for the Freedon Nadd Uprising should be provided. Also, a bit more context as to what was going on in that conflict would be helpful. Maybe a sentence or so.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *First paragraph of the Background has an unsourced statement. Additionally, that sentence is a bit informal. Perhaps something a bit more explanatory, with a source, could be added.
 * 7) **Whoops. Addressed.
 * 8) *Not so sure the Empress Teta system should be referred to as a "region of the galaxy."
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *Referring to "the joint Republic-Jedi effort" without first establishing the Republic's complicity should be remedied.
 * 11) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 12) *Something more of this prophecy should be explained in the first mention.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) *Were Arca, Ulic, Nomi, Vima, and Thon actually among the first to arrive? It appears that a crowd had already gathered.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) *The phrase "freshly injured" should either be explained outright or omitted.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) *Calling Thon a "Beast Master" is a bit confusing.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) *"Arca of Arkania" is a bit awkward when it isn't the first mention of Arca.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) *The allusion to Exar Kun should be changed to specific statements, in keeping with omniscient viewpoint and encyclopedic prose.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) *Thon's actions on Ambria need a bit of context.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) *Are we sure that this was truly "the first half of the Conclave?" Perhaps that statement should not be made, as there is no IU evidence to support it.
 * 27) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 28) *I think the phrase "in search of dark side things" should be replaced with a bit more explanatory statements.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) *The phrase "the second half of the convocation" also gives me a bad feeling. Please omit it along with the other one.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) *"The battle of Deneba was over" is a step away from the tense and tone.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) *"As the cleanup efforts began, Master Vodo-Siosk Baas retreated to a secluded hill, where he then displayed his personal holocron, and recorded the day's events including the travesty of Arca's death, and the discovery of the Krath being responsible for the war-droid attack." – This is quite the run-on, and should be broken up or repunctuated and rephrased.
 * 35) **Addressed.
 * 36) *Sourcing on the summaries of the Principal participants needs to be cleaned up. Source for where you got what information. The first one is in Odan-Urr, where Golden Age of the Sith is sourced after a group of sentence including a statement of Odan-Urr becoming one of the oldest and wisest Jedi.
 * 37) **Addressed.
 * 38) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:43, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thank you Graestan for looking. If anything else is required, please alert me. —Tommy [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( There are no Jedi here ) 22:42, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 41) * "The Sith were eventually defeated, and found by Odan-Urr in the spoils of an abandoned Sith warship was a Sith holocron." Particularly nasty passive voice. Please reword.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) * Multiple instances of this, but it's either "Battle Meditation" (I think this is the right one) or "battle meditation", but certainly not "Battle meditation".
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) *Other issues pounded out in IRC. Good work, even if it is TOTJ. They were lucky to pick you up, Tommy. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:39, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) **Thank you Ataru for looking. Pleasure doing business with you! —Tommy [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( There are no Jedi here ) 16:53, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Any particular reason you're not taking this to- oh, wait, you are taking it to FA. Keep up the good work. :P 14:31, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Isn't it "pyrrhic" instead of "phyrric"? (Just a question, not opposing)--Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:56, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Tamizander Rey

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:30, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1,251 words. Definitely didn't imagine this thing would ever see the FAN page.

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:27, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Part of a great series on ESB and ROTJ tertiary characters.  Graestan ( Talk ) 20:19, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:09, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Ozzel 06:35, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Darth Newdar 07:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * "After joining the Rebellion, he served at the secret Echo Base on the Outer Rim Territories ice planet Hoth by 3 ABY as the facility's senior deck officer, responsible for overseeing all docking bay operations." - I'm not sure if there's some punctuation missing here, but the sentence feels like a bit of a run-on. "When Rey attempted to direct Solo to the command center, the smuggler was more interested in the condition of his freighter, the Millennium Falcon, upset to discover, as he learned from Rey, that base technicians were pulled away from working on the ship to address the more dire needs of the snowspeeders." - Same thing here. It's too long, too hard to follow. I may be a simpleton, but there's gotta be other ones out there. Thefourdotelipsis 07:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) *Not to cite the "Big Book of Everything That I Just Lost", but I vaguely recall Solo not wanting anyone working on his ship . . . I'll see if I can find that reference; if I can't, I'll strike this.
 * 3) *Search for Skywalker . . . has some very short paragraphs. Could those be combined at all?
 * 4) *"As Echo Base's senior deck officer, he suggested to the base's command staff that no ship be allowed to leave Hoth until the shield generator was activated despite the resulting flak he received from non-partisan pilots delivering supplies." This is not only the third time this phrase is used, but I'm not catching the incredible relevance to his P&T, unless you're trying to say that he did what he needed to do no matter what anyone thought and are leaving the reader to infer that.
 * 5) *These aren't the most concrete of objections; the article is fairly clean mostly because there's not much there. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:29, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **I appreciate both reviews and apologize for the delay in addressing them. Once I have some spare time, I'll get to them. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:36, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) The phrase "which earned Rey the ire of many non-Rebel pilots" appears two times. Could you perhaps reword one of them? -- Ozzel 06:35, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Yeah, I totally didn't read Ataru's first... although that third one didn't bother me as much since it was at least worded differently. -- Ozzel 06:40, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Crappy picture, I'm well aware. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:30, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * De-crapified now&hellip;well, somewhat :) I rescanned the picture from the original playing card, managing to get his whole head in it, unlike the previous copy. Likewise, I was able to clean it up a bit and mostly get rid of the distortion which is noticeable on the picture when you blow it up from the original tiny size. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:27, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks, Grey. Hopefully it passes inspection. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:54, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * A screenshot from the film of Rey and Solo arguing would be good, I think. I'll try and get one, but chances are it'll have to be replaced by Culator. Thefourdotelipsis 07:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I'll second that suggestion. -- Ozzel 06:37, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Plooz

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 09:48, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Plooz.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) He's lovably dumb, and can time travel. More Inq must read this.  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 02:34, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:57, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Struck my objection on the battleship thing. Don't want to see a repeat of the Nagai fleet naming fiesta. :-P   Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:35, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:59, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) No lead quote. Also, in the quote for the "Return" section, the all caps "FATHER" seems odd, since comics are in all caps anyway. Please advise. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:18, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Lead quote inserted, and it's in capitals since the word "father" is significantly in the comic, despite being in the bubble as the preceding words. So the capitals are to mimic that extra emphasis. Thefourdotelipsis 23:28, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I'd prefer bolding and italicizing, or something, instead, but it doesn't really matter. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:32, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 5) * Needs a link to those "battleships" you mention.
 * 6) **Hmm. That's meant to be more a general term, rather than referring to any specific class. At any rate those ships aren't identified...what exactly do you want me to link to?
 * 7) * You mention a fractured dialect. Is it stated of what language?
 * 8) **Fraid not.
 * 9) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:34, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Danke. Thefourdotelipsis 23:22, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Toprawa:
 * 12) *This is kind of OR. I'd rather see this "inaccurate" claim placed in the ref note instead of the way it is asserted. "Though the astromech droid's calculations were inaccurate, " Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **It's not really OR...and it's not an interpretation. It's something that has retroactively been shown as, well, impossible. Since much of the bio is about time travel, I think it's fairly important to establish in the text that this is most certainly not 100 years. Thefourdotelipsis 08:07, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Spiker

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:32, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: That is all.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 10:40, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * "though they managed to survive by the skin of their teeth." - Is a bit informal. "Spiker knew that the crate alongside the Twi'lek was likely filled with spice, so rather than killing him, suggesting that Gizz allow Whizzer and extension on his debt in exchange for some of the drug, in an effort to goad Gizz into defying Jabba's orders." - Something's missing there. The BTS could maybe do with a little bit more expansion, namely some of the authors who dealt with him, the fact that he's a playable character in Missions, and the fact that his face (at least I think that's his face) differed greatly in the comics from what was shown in the SOTE sourcebook and the Missions card. In fact, the Missions card shows him as having pale skin, not blue. Thefourdotelipsis 08:43, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Should all be addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:11, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) *"One of Spiker's fellow swoop riders was captured by 12-4C-41, though managed to send a message to Jabba's Palace of the incoming barge which the droids were using to travel to the desert citadel." Who sent the message?
 * 3) *Other than that, looks clean. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:10, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'd suggest that an unhelmeted image would be much better than the infobox, also, why aren't there any Tales templates for the Sand Blasted portion? Thefourdotelipsis 12:32, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If anyone wants to tinker with the main image, please feel free; everything I've tried so far -- particularly the unmasked ones -- look off. About Sand Blasted; it's referenced in the Dark Forces Saga, and according to its article it is C-canon. So...I dunno. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:37, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * That would mean that the referenced elements are C-canon. Not the comic itself. Thefourdotelipsis 14:17, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Spiker.jpg seems like it would be a better infobox picture, if someone could re-scan it. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 13:49, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

3B6-RA-7

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 09:14, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is probably one of the best WTS's I've read so far...I mean...two GODV references. TWO.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) This quite an impressive article. I agree totally with 4Dot. One of the best WTS. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 17:04, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) "We can take over the Mos Eisley spaceport!" -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:33, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:46, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Has the ghost droid been FA/GA'd yet? I forget his proper name, but I love that story.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:46, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nobot, up for GAN at the moment. Thefourdotelipsis 07:33, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Boushh

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:16, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) This bounty hunter is my kind of scum.  Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 11:28, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Aside from the current main pic, it's got my support.  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:47, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Love the current main pic. :P Thefourdotelipsis 10:36, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Xadun stole my line. :-(  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:01, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) P&t : 'When hired by Narloch, Boushh left the Herglic gambler for dead when he fled Dalos IV, demonstrating that he cared more for his own skin than survival.' Isn't caring for one's own skin the same as survival? Or have i misinterpreted this?
 * 2) *Fixed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:38, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * You say that Boussh et al captured Justiss...I thought the picture just said that he was confronted by them. "hordes of facial scars" - Is that really the collective? :P Thefourdotelipsis 10:55, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed and fixed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:04, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "Boushh guarded caught Narloch while he gambled in a casino on the Wheel, where they were attacked by the bounty hunters." Uh . . . wth?
 * 3) **Wth? indeed. Fixed.
 * 4) * "The group managed to make their way to Dalos IV, where Boushh engaged them in a firefight in the hopes of allowing Narloch to escape. Boushh eventually fled himself, and Narloch was captured." Some sticky antecedents here.
 * 5) **I've altered it ever so slightly but I'm not sure what's wrong with it.
 * 6) * "Boushh wore several bandoliers, packed tight with ammo pouches explosives—projectile detonators," I'm pretty sure this is just missing a comma, but was only 95% certain.
 * 7) **I think it was an "of." Fixed.
 * 8) * You state Boussh became a bounty hunter near the formation of the Empire in the intro, but it's never extrapolated upon or sourced in the body.
 * 9) **Ambiguified.
 * 10) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:58, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can you use an unmasked picture of him in the infobox? Since we have ones of decent quality, and the masked one is literally a repurposed image of Leia (I know in its canonical use it's of Boushh, but it does make the point of how vague masked pictures are), I think this is a case where an unmasked shot would be far superior. - Lord Hydronium 21:50, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I disagree. As Boushh rarely removes his helmet, and the masked picture is instantly more recognisable, it makes things easier for user reference. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I would tend to agree with Xadun, though I don't really care too much either way. I think the fact that the unmasked one is less than 250px should rule it out. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:38, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, the masked one is more recognizable as Leia, since that's how most people have seen "Boushh". The fact that Leia-as-Boushh and helmeted Boushh look identical to the point that a picture of the former is used for the latter I think is a good indication of how ambiguous the helmeted picture is. Acky: There might be a better sized one in the strip; if that can be found, would you have any objection to changing it? - Lord Hydronium 02:51, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nope, but I'm fairly sure there isn't a bigger one. If that option isn't available, what about using the coloured picture from later on the bio for the infobox? That would at least alleviate the "Leia" issue. Either way, I don't mind, and we can use the smaller, unmasked one if necessary. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:06, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Ozzel cropped a wider version of the unmasked, so I switched the two. - Lord Hydronium 20:36, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Valarian

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:48, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This'll probably be my last nom for three weeks or so.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well, if it isn't the lovely and talented&mdash;GAHHH!!  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 13:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:45, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 12:53, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the notebook of Darthchristian:
 * 2) * The second sentence in the intro is a run-on. Please correct this.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Are the dashes around, "young for a whipid" needed? The same for the monks later in the article as well.
 * 5) **Well, I don't think commas would work and brackets seem to be disliked by most FAreviewers, so I'm not sure there's any other option. Changed the B'omarr one, though I'm not sure it looks right.
 * 6) ***If thats the case, then yeah, change it back. It was more like a question than an obbjection.
 * 7) * In, "...old cargo hauler which had previously...," please change which to that. It doesn't read right with which.
 * 8) **Changed.
 * 9) *"...despite Jabba's objections; the Hutt responded...," change the semi colon to a comma and add "and" after it.
 * 10) **Why?
 * 11) ***I really don't think semi-colons work here. It makes it seem like you're just trying to get the info in and it doesn't quite read right when you do that.
 * 12) *After you did that, "to attack the Lucky Despot and its patrons and also attempted to...," Seperate the sentence after "patrons" so it isn't a run-on.
 * 13) **See above,
 * 14) ***See previous explanation above.
 * 15) *"...former players for Jabba the Hutt, they were her favorite musical group...," doesn't make sense. Change it to, "She hired famed musician Max Rebo and his band, former players for Jabba the Hutt and Valerian's favorite musical group, to provide entertainment for the wedding.
 * 16) **It does make sense, and, IMHO, reads better than the alternative. Perhaps others could chime in?
 * 17) ***Its sort of like the previous objection. If that sentence I suggested really doesn't work, just change "they were" to and.
 * 18) * After the Modal Nodes are first mentioned, use a period after it and seperate that sentence into two. It read a lot better after that.
 * 19) **Again, I don't see the need and I think it looks better as is.
 * 20) ***I see your point. Again, more of a suggestion than objection.
 * 21) * Add "and" after "Jabba's various henchmen," and before, "dozens of guests."
 * 22) **That wouldn't make sense.
 * 23) * ou don't pluralize guests in the wedding section.
 * 24) **Done now.
 * 25) * After "later," put a when after the comma.
 * 26) **I'm not sure which "later" you're referring to, but adding "when" after any of them wouldn't make sense.
 * 27) ***Wow, I totally meant to delete this objection. I thought it might work, typed it down, but found later it didn't work. Sorry.
 * 28) * You don't need the parenthesis around, "who had been rehired to play in Jabba's court."
 * 29) **Changed.
 * 30) * There is an article for Shiri'ani, right?
 * 31) **Yes; now linked to.
 * 32) *Though this isn't a valid objection, can you please make an article for those redlinks? It just makes everything better.
 * 33) **Well, I don't see the point in making two one-sentence articles which could be far better. I'll get around to Herogga eventually, since I plan to GA him someday.
 * 34) ***Very true. Just trying to improve it further.
 * 35) * In the P&T, I wouldn't use the word disrespected, after what happened at the wedding. Use a word that well represents the fiasco.
 * 36) **Better?
 * 37) ***Yep.
 * 38) *Very well written article otherwise. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 16:48, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thank you. I will try to get these addressed later this evening, though I will say that, for a lot of them, it would have been easier to fix them yourself than list them here. No worries, though. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:21, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) ***I realize that now. For the most part though, they were grammar stuff that I thought should take here first though, to get feedback on whether it sounded right. Darthchristian  ( Hey! ) 11:04, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) Some mention should be made of the Dragon's Spine (asteroid field). --Eyrezer 13:00, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a BTS item about her name.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 13:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Cay Qel-Droma

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk)
 * Nomination comments: My first WP:TOTJ article.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well done Mr. Jadson. —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 21:11, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:41, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 09:28, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The Anvil:
 * 2) * Minor:For the Great Sith War section, I'd add another image, so as to balance them out. I would've said just to move the next image (Ulicqeldromaversuscay.JPG) to the left, but that will displace the section header. If you need a good one to add, you know where to get'em!;) I'd use this one (Cayqel-dromaHS.jpg), since it actually is the image that corresponds with the section quote. Up to you though.
 * 3) **Funnily enough, I thought about adding another image there but decided against it. Anyway, added one.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:21, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Also, I would change the image (Image:Cay qel droma.jpg) for the "First mission" section, only because it depicts Cay with his prosthesis, which he didn't have yet at that point in the story.
 * 5) **Wow, I thought about that too, but decided not to change it. Replaced that image now though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:39, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *** I'll find you a good one, one that depicts him pre-prosthesis ;) —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 21:17, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * The "Born" field in the infobox is not sourced...I'd do it, if I knew. Also, just as a suggestion, you might want to merge some paragraphs, as the small, two or three sentence ones don't particularly look neat in the context of the greater article. Thefourdotelipsis 11:12, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Fixed, on both counts.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:49, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Indeed, Mr. Jadson, this article has come a long way! It's been polished nicely from the nonsense that it was before you stepped on the scene. I'm glad to be working on this project with you ;) —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 16:19, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *The reason everyone is referred to by first name is that that's how it's done in the comic.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:21, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Thanks for the reviews guys.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:09, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Wraith Squadron

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wraith awaiting launch orders.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Also working on redlinks, me.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:42, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:30, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Yes, I know about the redlinks. I'm working on it.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) You've got an unsourced quote in their somewhere: Eurrsk Thri'ag. And you should be consistent with periods or without periods at the end of the description. --Eyrezer 04:06, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Quote sourced. Which periods are you referring to? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:28, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **This is with regard to quotes. Sometime you end the quote attribution with a period and sometimes you don't. --Eyrezer 23:19, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Ah, I see. Pesky periods popped. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From Greyman:
 * 7) * In the Equipment section, under the Starfighter subsection, it's written "Years later, in the Yuuzhan Vong War, the Wraiths continued to fly X-wing starfighters&hellip;". I'm not sure, so I thought I'd ask, but it is known if they flew the XJ series during that time? Or is it not mentioned in the NJO novels? I can't remember, so I thought I'd ask. This isn't an objection, per se, since the section with regards to the X-wing is written fine, but it's just a little detail that caught my eye that might be worth including if need be.
 * 8) **Heh, I've learned that it is not mentioned, remarkably enough, what type of X-wing they flew. They must have been the odd-balls out in the series, then :P Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 02:06, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Yeah, it's not stated. Except for Enemy Lines, they pretty much get cameos. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The pictures in the "Members" section also caught my eye. For some of them, you give captions and information, and then others there are just the pilots names present. I'd suggest choosing to add information for each picture, or just have the name for each picture. Or, you could drop the names/captions choice entirely and just use the code [[Image:randomname.jpg|left|150px]] (or just leave out the "left", which defaults the picture right), thus cutting out the thumbnail entirely. I have some ideas for the formatting of this section to streamline the appearance, but I didn't want to do anything which would take away from your initial vision without first consulting you ;) Anyways, whatever you decide to do, just let me know and this objection shall be struck.
 * 11) **I tweaked all of the captions to have a brief description of that person's tasks so the reader could get an idea of who they were "on the fly", so to speak. If you have some other ideas, please let me know via the usual channels. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Looks much better. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:30, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *After some minor touch ups, I have no complaints with the main article; it is well done :) Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:45, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Ref punctuation errors galore! Refs with no spaces after them before the next sentence, refs before commas, and, worst of all, multiple instances of refs with commas on both sides. (Ew!) As one might say: "A rather sloppy nom... Did you forget to copyedit?" ;-) -- Ozzel 10:00, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *I'll take a look-and it has nothing to do with the copyediting I gave it. Links and ref syntax I generally let AWB deal with, since that's what it's for, so I didn't even look at those. TBH, I could really care less as long as the refs aren't broken. When I'm reading 250 KB of article, ref punctuation is never a high priority.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Took a stab at it and cleaned some things up. Let me know what you think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:37, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Bah. Your priorities break my little Grammar Nazi heart. :-p Anyway, looks much better now. Good work. -- Ozzel 03:08, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ****I'll send you a bandage and a little stuffed Ewok to cheer you up. :-P Thanks for the catch, though-the double commas around the refs looked particularly awful and I picked up on a few other things. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:49, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) Would it be possible to get a roster of who was Wraith X at what time? For instance, initial roster, Iron Fist roster, whenever there's a major change. Right now if you want to know who Wraith Two or Wraith Eight or Wraith Ten was, you can't find that information in the article. Yrfeloran 05:43, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *I'll see what I can do . . . I'll need to work on it so it doesn't become a horrible list. Maybe something in the Members sections&mdash;that's what I did for Rakehell Squadron, but the Wraiths shift callsigns numerous times. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:50, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **A list has been added near the bottom of the article. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:00, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to Goodwood for tossing in a few quotes and a couple member sections.
 * The Narra is referred to as "the Narra" throughout Allston's books.
 * Ditto with "the Ugly Truth" and "the Hawkbat.
 * The segment where Lara Notsil is referred to by first name is intentional; two Notsils are being discussed at that point in the article and it's confusing to use their last names and stupid to use their whole names. So please don't place that on merciless hammers or cubicles or forests or bridges or what-have-you. Then again, you probably knew all this anyway. ;-)
 * The images are, AFAIK, all that are available besides individual member portraits, which I didn't feel like including since everyone has a picture at the bottom. Allston wasn't writing comic books, after all.
 * No new info in the Fact Files or the Who's Who. Still need to re-read the Gamer article, but I'll adjust accordingly once I've got it.
 * It's, uh, short. Very short. It'll only take you a little bit to read this article, so go ahead. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If you need a copy of the Gamer article, let me know, Ataru. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:45, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Dude...shame on you for not using the Legendary Image of Horse Pilotness. Shame! Thefourdotelipsis 13:54, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Czulkang Lah

 * Nominated by: Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Enemy Lines is the best of the NJO books.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:41, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:35, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * I'm pretty sure Czulkang Lah was never stated to be in charge of the invasion of the Galaxy. (intro)
 * 3) **That was a cheeky inference due to his rank as warmaster. I am ashamed, and it is gone Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Might want to mention the Starlancer Project in the intro, because that's the reason Tsavong Lah demands a hasty assault.
 * 5) **See what you think
 * 6) * Checked Enemy Lines II and found that "the" is not typically used in front of Lusankya. Please revise as necessary. Same with Mon Mothma.
 * 7) **Feels weird, but it's gone.
 * 8) ***I agree, but meh, it's policy.
 * 9) * Might want to link to the Goddess missile.
 * 10) **It is done (pipelink at the end of "Final engagement")
 * 11) * It might be worth it to note that Lah was compared to Garm bel Iblis, whom the Vong saw as the New Rep's pre-eminent tactician.
 * 12) **Put it in the P&T, it works quite nicely there.
 * 13) *Glad to see you're back and giving Czulkang Lah a new look. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:32, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks, it's good to be back! I'll try my hand at Tsavong eventually...cheers for the review Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Maybe not when my browser is so mind-numbingly slow...Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If you're using Internet Explorer, get rid of it. Use Firefox. Unless of course you're referring to your internet connection itself. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it's Internet Explorer that's the problem, yeah - it was taking about half a minute to type yesterday. Thanks for the advice. Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm away until next Friday but I'll immediately address objections on my return. Thanks Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Shadowspawn

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:06, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'm certifiable! :D

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) He's a madman, I say! - Lord Hydronium 10:32, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) This page is going to be a rampage in October. Darthchristian 17:50, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 11:55, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) December?! >:( -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:54, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Oh boy.....
 * 2) * "The first death of Emperor Palpatine allowed Shadowspawn to return from exile and put his plans into motion." The sentence just seems to come out of nowhere, making the paragraph seem choppy, and also doing nothing to lead the biography into the next section. Try, "After Emperor Palpatine's first death, Shadowspawn was able to return from exile and put his plans into motion."
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Can you try to elaborate on the mass suicides of the royal guards? Because I had never known them to commit suicide after Palpatine's death right, and its just confusing.
 * 5) **I don't think we know anything more about that, I'm just going by Evil Never Dies.
 * 6) * No source explains how Mindor was strategically important? If there is, please explain how it was important.
 * 7) **We'll find out in October. :P
 * 8) * Also, can you add that he was able to create an army of shadow stormtroopers? You just jump right ahead and say that Shadowspawn deployed his shdowtroopers without explaining a thing about them.
 * 9) **Ditto here. We don't really know the context of Shadowspawn's use of the guards, nor do we know if he created them, or took from from Blackhole, etc. So, again...October.
 * 10) *Other than that, it was a fantastic article, Fourdot. Darthchristian 02:38, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you. Thefourdotelipsis 08:00, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I'll get the info when the book comes out. You have no idea how excited I am for his book. No. Idea. Also, if you're thinking "Hey, I just read this" if you just read Atha, well...my thoughts exactly. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 10:06, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Jorj Car'das

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:53, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Co-project with AdmirableAckbar.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:04, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Janeway 09:29, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * I'm a touch concerned by the fact that there's nothing cited to Galaxies here. I played the game briefly a few years ago and Car'das' faction was...well, everywhere in the opening levels...I could be mistaken, but I'm sure there's pertinent information to be found in that game. Apologies if I'm wrong, though. Thefourdotelipsis 01:08, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, AFAIK, it's just his organization in the game, and not Car'das himself. Seeing as though he was in the Kathol Rift by the time of Galaxies and was not playing a part in the running of the organization, I doubt there's really anything to be added. I'll have a look around for anything, though. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:30, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Oh, he wasn't running the organization. That explains it. And it'll teach me to maybe read the damn thing first. :P Thefourdotelipsis 14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * The crew of the Bargain Hunter needs a smidgin of context in intro please.
 * 3) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "who believed that Quennto had as secret treasure hold". I almost changed this to "had a secret treasure hold", but I wasn't 100% sure that's what you were aiming for, just 95%.
 * 5) **You were right.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * I believe Progga's crew provoked the Chiss, but I could be wrong. Couldn't hurt to be a little more specific there.
 * 7) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "After being held for awhile, Thrawn spoke to them". Sorry, but there's a confusing antecedent for that first phrase and it's making a rather funny mental image.
 * 9) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * No context given on the Geroons upon first mention.
 * 11) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "although Thrawn believed they were not good omens." That doesn't make a lot of sense to me in its context. Particularly since Thrawn isn't superstitious.
 * 13) **Changed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "staring down Kav until he ordered the droid to stand down."
 * 15) **Thought I got that earlier. Fixed now.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * The quotes in the Outbound Flight (novel) sections have very little to do with Car'das. Please remedy this.
 * 17) **That's because they are no good quotes. Would you recommend I remove them? I know we don't need quotes for all parts, I just prefer it that way.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I'll try and dig up some better ones. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * No context on Miskara.
 * 20) **Well, it mentioned the leader just words earlier, so I feel the reader could make an extrapolation. Nonetheless, changed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Uh, Outbound Flight was not "utterly destroyed."
 * 22) **I can't find that. Could you point it out?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Sure. "The starfighters had the Vagaari almost entirely defeated when they suddenly changed course and attacked Outbound Flight, utterly destroying it." End of a paragraph beginning with "Car'das firmly believed he would die in the ship." Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Thanks. Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:20, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * You're inconsistent between Outbound Flight and "the Outbound Flight". The former is preferred IIRC.
 * 26) **That's because one if referring to the ship and another to the project, the concept. I believe all the times it's talking about the ship is italicized. If you mean we alternate between using the, it's fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * The assassination attempt on Thrawn by Kav is a bit too long considering it has very little to do with Car'das. If it does pertain to Car'das, his role needs to be more heavily expounded upon.
 * 28) **Removed it. It is fairly trivial to Car'das.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * No link to Force healing or whatever it is?
 * 30) **I wouldn't say it's exactly a Force power, so no. We can discuss this though; on IRC or here.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Meh, I was under the impression Yoda used the Force to heal Car'das. Whatever. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) ****He did, but I'm not sure if it warrants an article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:20, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * Might be important to note that Car'das never actually heard the name Luke Skywalker from Yoda's mouth. The article implies otherwise.
 * 34) **Good catch.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Link to destruction of Caamas.
 * 36) **Got ya.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * No context on Trey David
 * 38) **Now there is.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) * The Empire didn't actually ruin Emberlene. It was a group of mercs, but the article implies otherwise.
 * 40) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) * No context on Dean Jinzler. When I ask for a little context, a few words or a phrase is plenty. I don't need an exposition, just a basic understanding to serve as a lead-in.
 * 42) **Fixed.
 * 43) *A rather sloppy nom, Chack and Ackbar, at least coming from you. Did you guys forget to copyedit? Anyway, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:21, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) **We were kind of just tired of having it near-complete, but not quite done, and I suppose my copyedit was done in haste. I thought I put it through a spell-check but I guess not. Anyway, I was before this. JK. Thanks for the review.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) There is a mention at page 182 and 183 of The New Essential Guide to Characters that should be added. Janeway 18:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) *Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:50, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * His "Affiliation" field in the infobox looks like it is missing a few mentions? Not enough for me to object, if there was a reason you didn't include the obvious ones. Just thought I'd point it out, Greyman ( Talk ) 01:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm hesitant about adding anything other than his organization because he was very loosely affiliated with them. The Chiss, Republic, NR, he had little connection with them. I suppose I could put in the Sith though. Thanks for the review Greyman and Atarumaster.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:09, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Cane Adiss

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 08:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Governor lady said "I'm sending in more trains!"

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Following IRC based objections, arguements, and eventual realisation of wrongness. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:23, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I have reviewed this article and give it my stamp of approval. For what it's worth. jSarek 07:56, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:25, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:15, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Secret Rebel Base of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * Not sure if the part about the ship being able to contain his bulky body is needed.
 * 3) **Normally, no, but it is a plot point in this case, since few ships were actually able to do the job. And later on he has to try and buy one which is big enough for him and is more expensive and so on and so forth.
 * 4) * "...much to the disappointment his parental collective." A word is missing and some context on a prental collective might be needed. I think it would go better here than in the intro because it wouldn't interrupt the flow.
 * 5) **Added that missing word. As for the parental collective, there really isn't any more info on them, at least, not that I'm aware of.
 * 6) * "...a solid set of piloting skills." I don't like the way this is phrased.
 * 7) **Rephrased.
 * 8) * "...which is what greeted the smuggler..." I assume you meant which greeted.
 * 9) **Kinda. I've rephrased that again, but I'm not totally positive that the new wording works.
 * 10) *Nice work overall. This John Hazlett fellow created quite an interesting character.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:05, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 14:12, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Any time.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the two heads of Ackbar:
 * 14) * There's a bit of repetition in phrasing between the main body and the intro. E.g. Intro: "&hellip;much to the dismay of his parental collective. When he came of age&hellip;" Bio: "&hellip;much to the disappointment of his parental collective. When he came of age&hellip;" and "was large enough to accommodate"/"was large enough to accommodate".
 * 15) **Removed that repetition.
 * 16) * That's it, really. Not an objection, but it is policy (though I'm not sure one is needed) to use "s's" instead if "s'," so I've altered them. Also, according to Gonk there's supposed to be commas either side of "however" in a sentence like "Spacecraft were expensive however, and Adiss&hellip;" I've fixed it; just letting you know for future reference.
 * 17) **Heh. I've never, ever seen "s's" in use in the real world except for up in the country where they don't know better. I physically can't bring myself to do it..sorry. :P Also, with that "however," I always used to put the comma before it, but someone complained...can't win. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 08:20, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) **Excellent article, interesting character. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:38, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 9... Thefourdotelipsis 08:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Bevel Lemelisk

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Paunchy Spiky-Haired Super Designer Maniac Racial Stereotypes Are Go!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1) I love having 4dot on WP:NEGTC. :-)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:59, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Does Galaxy Guide actually call him an architect? He seems to be more of a designer or engineer, so the label seems a bit inaccurate imho. Maybe I'm being too literal.
 * 3) **It does indeed.
 * 4) * "During a lapse worker "enthusiasm," Vader payed Tarkin and Lemelisk a visit." Several problems with this sentence. It doesn't seem to make much sense, and I believe the verb is "paid", unless I'm horribly wrong.
 * 5) **Gah. Yes it is. I've rejigged the sentence as well.
 * 6) * Should there be a link to Transfer essence in there?
 * 7) **Didn't even know that existed. It's in there now.
 * 8) *Other than those minor details, article looks good. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 00:27, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 10! Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Beryl Chiffonage

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:05, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 00:46, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:22, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) (Thunderer 02:20, 11 June 2008 (UTC))
 * 1) Stuff:
 * 2) * I'd like to see maybe two of the first three sections merged; they all seem a bit short.
 * 3) **Merged the second and third.
 * 4) * The development of Rogue Doctrine (or at least the parts relevant to Credal) should come before Credal's disapearance in the bio, in order to avoid confusion.
 * 5) **Reordered.
 * 6) * Since pretty much anything can from Alliance Intelligence Reports can be used as quotes, a few quotes in the bio/P&T would be greatly appreciated.
 * 7) **Added quote to the P&T. If you have any other quote suggestions you'd like to see, please let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:55, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Lastly, perhaps an image of an AT-AT being downed for the "Battle of Hoth" section?
 * 9) **You read my mind. I wanted to show the exact same thing. I'll see what I can do. If anyone wants to grab an image, cool. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:24, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Nice work. Bland character. :-P -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * There is only one available image for this guy, from Who's Who in Echo Base in Insider 74. If anyone can grab that image for this article, that would be great. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. (Although it ain't exactly pretty.) -- Ozzel 07:15, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * It'd probably be good to also find him in the film itself, and put a screencap of that in there, to serve as confirmation as well as illustration. Thefourdotelipsis 08:08, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The only real image of him is a tiny appearance over Rieekan's shoulder, which is where this infobox pic comes from, zoomed in on him. I don't know how well it would work. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:21, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't think it would hurt, as long as the caption pointed him out. Thefourdotelipsis 04:32, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Paltr Carvin

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 11:59, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He's got gloves!

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 00:58, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 14:46, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:50, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium 09:46, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * Image:Tribunemeeting.JPG and Image:Paltrcarvinfate.JPG could benefit from re-scans. --Imperialles 12:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Oh sure, 4dot, let it sound like his idea. :-p Anyway, did the first one, but the latter's a no-can-do, as her face goes into the spine. -- Ozzel 23:15, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Ozz has now replaced the second image. Thefourdotelipsis 01:03, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Stuff:
 * 4) * I think a bit about the situation immediately post-Endor merits inclusion. Okay, I know we don't explicitly know that Carvin was on the council before Mandatory Retirement, but a mention of how Isard became the middle (wo)man between the Council and Pestage, probably as well as Palpatine's death, carefully worded, would IMHO really improve the opening paragraph.
 * 5) **I have mentioned Palpatine's death there already, but what kind of detail are you looking for here? Just a brief mention of Isard's role post-Endor?
 * 6) ***I added a little bit myself. Feel free to alter or remove it if you don't like it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Ooh, yes, I like that. Good stuff, thanks. Thefourdotelipsis 11:35, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * I'm no expert in this, but some sections seem at least a little play-by-play. A few things like "Isard calmly said that she understood" seem a bit over-detailed. See if you can cut it down wherever prudent.
 * 9) **I've removed that sentence altogether, but a lot of it is important, since it's a matter of who rules the galaxy. If you have any other specific examples, I'll see what I can do about them. Thefourdotelipsis 00:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Looks okay. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Perhaps the image of Carvin on his knees would be a better replacement for the image in "Fall." There's something odd-looking about that one.
 * 12) **We have top men working on it.
 * 13) ***New image in there now. Thefourdotelipsis 01:03, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Great work. Interesting character. The Rise of Isard arc is definitely one of my favorite things in the EU. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:25, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Danke. Thefourdotelipsis 00:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) Has an unsourced succession box down the bottom. --Eyrezer 05:35, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *Gah, someone added that while I wasn't looking. Removed. Thefourdotelipsis 05:57, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From the Command Bridge of Director Thrawn.
 * 19) * No details of what Isard's proof actually was.
 * 20) **Added
 * 21) * No details with how Pestage specifically came to be deposed.
 * 22) **Well, he flees, they take control. The specifics of it end up delving into Isard's machinations, and that's too far removed from Carvin's story.
 * 23) ***Makes no mention of him actually escaping Imperial Center to Ciutric, nor does it specifically list what he and the rest of the Tribune tell her she specifically has to do on Imperial Center as opposed to going to Ciutric.
 * 24) ****The thing about him escaping is added, but they don't really task her with those specific things, they're just mocking her.
 * 25) * Needs some more elaboration with Isard's meetings with the Tribunal, not much but some.
 * 26) **It's as elaborated as can be. If I went any further with it, it would turn into a play-by-play.
 * 27) **I suppose I should have been more specific: Isard's actions with the Ciutric debacle, and the Tribune's reaction needs just a little more. It seems a little thin to me.
 * 28) ***It really can't be any fatter, and if I do expand it, it starts extending too far beyond Carvin's story.
 * 29) * If the IRC is part of the Empire, why is it listed as separate in the infobox.
 * 30) **It's not, it's staggered under the Empire's listing. Thefourdotelipsis 13:13, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * More details on Carvin and the Tribune's specific feelings toward Isard's interferrance.
 * 32) *Other than that I suppose it looks good.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 12:33, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Motion to strike above objection by Imperialles
 * 1) Objection's been there for over a week, message was left on talk page. Thefourdotelipsis 08:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Lord Hydronium 09:06, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:13, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Once again, unattended objections must die. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:46, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Keleman Ciro

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another DarkStryder nom

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:45, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:34, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * You have two templates in the Appearances/Sources sections. I completely understand why you have it that way, due to the nature of the short story and whatnot, but I'd suggest removing the tag from the The DarkStryder Campaign in the Sources, and just leaving the tag alone that is on The Saga Begins.
 * 3) **Removed as per suggestion.
 * 4) * Your succession box at the very bottom of the article needs to be sourced. Names, dates, etc.
 * 5) **D'oh! Sourced.
 * 6) * In the BtS you say "Although much of the campaign&hellip;" Is that in reference to The DarkStryder Campaign? Or the entire RPG campaign (including the other Darkstryder adventures, etc.)? Could you rewrite that part to make it clear for the reader, if possible? Thanks.
 * 7) **I meant the entire campaign, but it is unclear. Reworded.
 * 8) *Other than those few things, the article is well done. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 20:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thank you :) - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:52, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) This is minor, but throughout the article, you've got double-spacing. Can you change these to single spacing? :)
 * 11) *My bad - I'm so used to writing in double spacing. Fixed.
 * 12) Also it appears we can narrow his birth year down to a small range. Can you add it to the infobox similar to how it is handled in Jonas Stern? --Eyrezer 22:55, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Done - I've given it an age range of five years unless you think this could be brought down further? - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:52, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **That looks fine. --Eyrezer 04:59, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Adas

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 12:50, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Say when...

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work. Fits in well with the rest of WP:TOTJ's articles. Glad to have you as guest writer.  Graestan ( Talk ) 17:05, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:01, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Superbly written.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:56, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * Since I always like a sentence to set the scene, how about something mentioning being born sometime before the Republic was formed on Korriban (if we know that) before launching into the skin colour bit.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Should Pre-Republic era not be in the infobox and have the little era icon? Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:28, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **I was under the impression that we only used the publishing eras for the icons and the eras field. We do for every other era. Thefourdotelipsis 08:30, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Generally, yes. But since there isn't a publishing era for that period, we've always used pre-Republic era before, including at least two existing FAs (Star Map and Pre-Republic era itself). I thought we generally follow precedent unless there's consensus to change it. Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:12, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****I've added an era and an icon, but not the silly Pre-Republic era ones. Instead I've used the Old Republic ones, which Pre-Republic content actually falls under, as per Leland Chee here. And I think Chee trumps precedent. :P Thefourdotelipsis 09:04, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Guest nom for WP:TOTJ. Uh...full...steam...ahead? Thefourdotelipsis 12:50, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Bodo Baas

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 09:14, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:19, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:23, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) You use the phrase "millions of data" at one point. I believe something is missing from there.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:23, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *That was Borsk who added that, but "data" is plural, so I believe it's a grammatical construction. - Lord Hydronium 22:58, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I don't like it. Could you please make a minor change?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:22, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***But... it's not wrong. -- Ozzel 09:40, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****"Points of data" or "data points" are the usual phrases for constructions like this. (And I don't care what overzealous English teachers keep trying to claim, "data" and "media" have both become collective nouns in English and should be treated as such.) jSarek 12:49, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ******I blame my English teacher. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:19, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Leia should be referred to as "Organa Solo", not "Solo." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:44, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *I've checked, and she is canonically referred to as just "Solo" (The Unseen Queen). - Lord Hydronium 10:49, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Bah! -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:40, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I can't find who voiced him in the audio drama. If anyone knows, that would be a great help. - Lord Hydronium 09:15, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I think there was another discrepancy in the EGtC that claimed the Bodo Baas holocron and the Vodo-Siosk Baas holocron were separate and that one survived Dark Empire. You could/should probably add this in to the BTS. --Eyrezer 11:34, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Gantoris

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 19:48, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes, at long last I have written another thing I feel worthy of FAN. My thanks to 4dot, Tommy and Jaymach for the sourcing.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose
 * 1) I think I was the one that did it, but that infobox image really needs work. There is also a quote in the body of the text that should be removed or moved to a header. Also you need to source the infobox. --Eyrezer 03:09, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Quote altered. I knew I'd forgotten something but just couldn't see it for some reason, and the infobox sourcing was it. Thanks! As for the image, I've asked for a litle assistance below, since my image skills are, shall we say, non-existant? Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 07:26, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The second last para of the bio lacks sourcing for its final statement. --Eyrezer 21:56, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Smeg. sourced. Also, thanks for the image enhancement.
 * 5) Some pointers, which I have mostly addressed myself
 * 6) * In my copy of Dark Apprentice, Exar Kun says "I want your anger, Gantoris.", rather than "I want your anger, Gantoris!". Misquote, wishful thinking, different source? I'm not sure.
 * 7) **Mistakenly wishful thinking - writing the quote how i thought it should be written. Altered.
 * 8) * Up till 100, write out numbers as words, such as three, for 3 corusca gems
 * 9) **Curses. Thanks for altering.
 * 10) * More linking, such as runyip, the battle of Dantooine where Daala attacks the colonists. Most things can be linked, I find.
 * 11) **Are there other things that are missing linkage?
 * 12) ***I don't think so. Good stuff. Harrar 09:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Instead of hyphons, you want to use &mdash; I changed this for you
 * 14) **Err... Is this a set policy or just your personal preference?
 * 15) ***Well &"mdash"; and &"hellip";, I thought, were the proper wikia ways to do hyphons and ellipsis. I believe it's just the done thing, but feel free to go and check it out elsewhere. Harrar 09:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I recommend expansion on Gantoris' rivalry with Horn, esp. the lifting of the rock episode.
 * 17) **I've expanded this in the Bio, by extracting and expanding relevant parts from the P&t. I've ad too.
 * 18) * Mention Warton, who Gantoris appears to have known from birth. It's his death that really guts Gantoris. Also mention the futile lightsaber strike on the wall against Kun.
 * 19) **Aah. Good point. Warton and lightsaber futility added.
 * 20) * Legacy section? There seem plenty of after death details.
 * 21) ** I've separated the final section into a "Legacy" part and added a little, but there's not much I can add to it.
 * 22) *Good stuff, Xadún. Harrar 16:23, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks for the review! Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:27, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) From Greyman:
 * 25) *Gantoris actually has a role, albeit very minor, in the story Firestorm. I see it listed in the "Appearances" section, but don't currently see any info on it in the article. If you need help with obtaining a copy of the story, let me know :) Greyman ( Talk ) 18:54, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) From the Preliminary Hearings of Chack Jadson:
 * 27) *The only part I read was the BTS, which I changed a little for you, but I suggest you change the source for the part about Exar's name never being spoken in the narration. JA narration works, just not Dark Apprentice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:02, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ** I deemed this unnecessary as Kun only speaks to Gantoris in Dark Apprentice, but I've changed it as it works either way. Also, I've moved the specific details about Gantoris' lightsaber to the article. I thought describing it to be duel-phase was sufficient, but it made sense to have this added clarification in the article itself. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:32, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) ***This is trivial, but I don't see why you can't change the ref for this to narration. You specifically say he never mentions his name in the narration, then source it with a book.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:14, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *Context on Ta'ania in the body is desired.
 * 31) *Could the third sentence in Legacy be merged with the second? Also, what is Kyp's redemption test?
 * 32) *I did a copyedit for you too.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:14, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can someone please assist with an improved copy of the Infobox image, per Eyrezer's request? Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 07:26, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Culator took care of it. --Eyrezer 08:44, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

First Battle of Onderon (Naddist Uprising)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy''' ( There are no Jedi here ) 14:42, 5 June 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Another one of my cellphone butters...

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments
 * May be a little rough (my mind & talents have been elsewhere), but it shouldn't be anything that can't be easily remedied. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 14:42, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Kai Justiss

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:40, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: (toots horn loudly)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) *Ackbar says:
 * 2) **" The Count insisted that he was no monster hell bent on the destruction of the Jedi." -- This looks a bit informal, and doesn't read well, IMHO.
 * 3) ***Yah, fixed.
 * 4) **" The name was coined by Corroney and Justiss." -- The world just imploded. :-P I would've fixed it myself, but I'm not sure who "Justiss" is meant to be.
 * 5) ***Hmm. I'm doing this a lot these days, which is a huge worry. Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 14:11, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Good work. Interesting character, interesting article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:59, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Three more little things:
 * 8) * I'd like a bit more context for the Battle of Geonosis, something like what I've done on Voolvif Monn/Pablo-Jill.
 * 9) **Hmm, well, on Monn at least, your info is a touch inaccurate: Kenobi's the one that sends out the distress signal. Still, good idea, I've added it now.
 * 10) ***Bah. Fixed now.
 * 11) * Also, for the very end of the bio, you should clarify that Boushh, Zuckuss and Breela (as well as several other hunters), actually engaged Justiss in combat, and that he killed many of them, etc. As it's written at present, it just says Crimson Nova sent the bounty hunters after them.
 * 12) **Not positive that the image tells us that he killed anyone, but I've added some context there.
 * 13) ***True, but you know what I mean. :-P Good work.
 * 14) * Also, though these aren't objections per se, I'd like to see an image added to the BtS, since we have plenty of them and he's an image-centric character, and also perhaps a quote from Joe Correney's blog in the BtS. Again, good work. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:42, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Added a quote, but in terms of an image I'd really like a picture of Chung or of Trevas' drawing of Justiss...but I can't seem to find either at the moment. Thefourdotelipsis 15:41, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Fair enough. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * The full citation tags, with images, look odd in citation #5, where you actually write out sentences. -LtNOWIS 15:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Raygar

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 15:32, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) We can't forget him. A great and ambitious villain, despite being a poor shot (as many other imperials, notably the troopers). If Emperor Palpatine survived him, thanks to Wicket. -- Delmar Nori 21:13, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Shedao Shai

 * Nominated by: Harrar 00:03, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes, it’s the 40th nomination, it’s another character, and it probably won’t pass for ages. But his article was a pitiful 264 words long, he’s important, and Stackpole gave a lot of info! So here goes&mdash;enjoy (hopefully). My next nom will break my character trend, I promise&hellip;

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:30, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 17:21, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the embrace of Ackbar:
 * 2) *" in which he expunged himself of any taint, wrapped in the tendrils of the torture device for hours, watching over the relics of his ancestors as he contorted his limbs in agony" -- this reads more like a narrative. Perhaps reword it with less narrative-y terms.
 * 3) **It's been neutered. Have a look and see what you think
 * 4) * Could you try maybe cutting down some of "duel and death?" It seems a bit over-detailed/play-by-play.
 * 5) **Guilty as charged. I took out a lot of the fluff&mdash;peruse at your leisure
 * 6) **Other than that, good work, if a tiny bit over-detailed in places. Keep up the good work :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:51, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Thanks&mdash;I know it is a bit too detailed but Stackpole's plot and character development seemed to demand it. I'll trim back more next time. Harrar 12:18, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * To me, the last sentence in the BtS doesn't really seem necessary. If you think otherwise, that's cool, but I think if you're going to have it, then there should be some substance to it. Just a suggestion, Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 00:34, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * No, you're right. I think I was trying to suggest that he was a large part of the series, but that's pretty obvious from his mentions and the article anyway. Harrar 09:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "My next nom will break my character trend, I promise&hellip;" You're going to FA the Yuuzhan Vong War? Great idea Harrar! :p --Eyrezer 02:08, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Well I was thinking of the Battle of Dantooine first, but yeh, the Yuuzhan Vong War is the dream goal! Harrar 09:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Seha Dorvald

 * Nominated by: Darthchristian 21:57, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: According to Fourdot, this is over a thousand words....it better be. =P

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

The Epic Continues

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:05, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: (puffs cigarette) "...so I says to myself, look, Four Dot, they're not going for the IU stuff. Yanowotimeen? It's like there's feces or something on them, and no one's touching them. I mean, I have to shift this stuff, but there's not much you can do, knowotimeen? So I says, see here, I'll give em something to write home about. Y'see? Like, I'm finking, give 'em summat diffrent. 'cause people wanna read about cancelled toys, right? Right?"

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 10:41, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

Onara Kuat

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:45, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More WTS fun.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Xendor

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:34, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:13, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Minions of Ackbar!:
 * 2) * The penultimate three sentences in the intro all start with "during." Please reword.
 * 3) **That's all. Nice work. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:02, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Empatojayos Brand

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 06:42, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) --Eyrezer 10:44, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "Brand identified himself to them as Jedi and the two women confirmed it." Did they confirm it through the Force? If so, can that be mentioned. Reads a little bit funny at the moment. --Eyrezer 00:59, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Yep. Clarified. - Lord Hydronium 07:01, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Could we get a picture of the "Brand look-alike" from Union for the BtS?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:38, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Added. - Lord Hydronium 00:46, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Jeng Droga

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He go crazy.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 03:51, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * If anyone has Empire's End, replacement of the images would be much appreciated. Thefourdotelipsis 14:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Scratch that last. Thefourdotelipsis 08:06, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Asli Krimsan's holocron

 * Nominated by: Yrfeloran 18:13, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hey look, it's not a character.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Excellent work. I'd love to see featured articles on other holocrons.  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:46, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 17:17, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Much, if not all, of the article is written in two- and three-sentence paragraphs. It would be greatly appreciated if you could do your best to merge them together.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I really don't see a problem with that arrangement, as the paragraphs don't seem to be disjointed. Were there any specific instances that could be improved? Graestan ( Talk ) 03:49, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Grass clippings:
 * 4) * Maybe a touch more on the functionality of the item as a holocron in the Properties section would be nice.
 * 5) **Sure. Yrfeloran 03:12, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * This sentence needs a bit more clarity: "The primary purpose of Asli Krimsan's holocron was to provide resources for the education of Jedi children to future Jedi Masters." Do we mean Jedi from children to future Jedi Masters? Or something different? Please reword.
 * 7) **It's teaching Jedi Masters how to teach children. Changed. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Referring to the Potentium as heresy straight off is POV. Please revisit how you explain this example.
 * 9) **Eh, changed. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The word "holocron" is used quite heavily&mdash;perhaps some alternatives could be worked in to make the read more pleasant?
 * 11) **Short of "glowy cube", I'm not sure what would work. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Object, device, what-have you. Anything aside from "holocron &hellip; the holocron &hellip; holocron." Graestan ( Talk ) 03:17, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ****If I may, I used "device" on Adas...and it seems to have worked out OK so far. Thefourdotelipsis 03:44, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * The nature of the drugs the Ranats used should be provided. Also, the Ranats' employ should be stated up front to avoid later confusion.
 * 15) **Sure. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * The last paragraph of the BtS is pure OR/speculation/extrapolation, and really shouldn't be included.
 * 17) **Eh, removed/toned down. Yrfeloran 03:12, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * The appearances really don't belong, in my opinion&mdash;the BtS mention is enough for that, and less misleading.
 * 19) ** OK. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:49, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Image kinda sucks Yrfeloran 18:13, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * yup, needs some cleaning indeed. Moreover, some additional illustrations would be welcome - Invock 22:29, 12 June 2008 (UTC
 * I know I remember hearing that those holocrons were made specifically for the VD. I'll see if I can dig up a source. -- Ozzel 11:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok, the acknowledgments in the back of the AOTC VD say that Don Bies and John Goodson specially created the holocrons. -- Ozzel 10:53, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Zorba Desilijic Tiure

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:47, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A-haw-haw-haw-haw!!

(0 Inqs/0 User/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Sharr Latt

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Per Greyman's request several months ago. Also, to help celebrate my 2nd Wookieeversary.

(2 Inqs/0 User/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  16:40, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Too bad they didn't do more expansion on the little guys in The New Jedi Order Sourcebook. Ahh, for the good ol' days of West End Games.  Greyman ( Talk ) 17:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Vong-Slaying Star Destroyer of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * Context on Nyax please (in the intro).
 * 3) * Give a few more words making it clear who won the battle in the body.
 * 4) * In the first sentence of P&T, any reason you source in the middle of the sentence?
 * 5) *Info-packed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:05, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Addressed all of these, although I assume that last one isn't an objection. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:37, 16 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No images of Sharr Latt exist, AFAIK. I looked when I did Wraith Squadron, but I added a Battle of Borleias image.
 * At 1,074 words, this is less than 4% of Wraith Squadron. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Crueya Vandron

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:18, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Guaranteed to bore.

(0 Inqs/0 User/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Akanseh

 * Nominated by: - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:41, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More DarkStryder goodness

(1 Inqs/0 User/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 17:04, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

Natasi Daala

 * Nominated by: --Director of Project Ambition Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:05, 15 June 2008 (UTC),
 * Nomination comments: "I am doing all I can to preserve the Empire."--Ysanne Isard

(0 Inqs/1 User/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) After all, I did work on it. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:54, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The First Wave of Objections from Darthchristian
 * 2) * Before I state my objections, let me extend some thanks to you. You've done a great job on the article, Mitth'raw'nuruodo, expanding and fixing numerous problems with the article but there are still some things to expand and fix.
 * 3) * First off, the first sentence in the the intro is a horrible way to start it off. State where she's from, that she's a human female, then give the fluff of the article. Change it to, "Natasi Daala, a Human female from the Renatasia system, was an Imperial admiral, and later in her life, the Galactic Alliance Chief of State. The only female to ever reach the rank of admiral in the Imperial Navy, she enlisted in the Imperial Navy on Carida, but was discriminated against due to her sex." Continue from that, and fix up the sentence if you feel you need to.
 * 4) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * You give no mention of her son and grandson in the intro as well, which is vital information.
 * 6) **Added that she had a son.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * In the second sentence of the third paragraph in the intro, make a link for command, linking to Supreme Commander.
 * 8) **Did so.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Make swearing in the intro past tense.
 * 10) **I believe in that context it is past tense.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * There's a source? tag in the first sentence of the bio.
 * 12) **Removed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:51, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * In the first sentence of the second section, state, "Due to her talents,".
 * 14) **Good idea.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:56, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *Expand on her appearance in Death Star. She's given a lot of information in that book, and she has only a few sentences about it in her article. Trust me, you can get of alot of information about her in that book.
 * 16) * Link to 11 ABY and to Han, Chewie, and Kyp.
 * 17) **How'd we miss that? Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:56, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * You give no mention that she was going to keep Han and Chewie prisoners, and that she was going to execite Kyp.
 * 19) **Do now.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:56, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Oh, please, please expand the Return to the Maw section. You give a paragraph for the last book of the Jedi Academy Series, which is just pathetic. She's one of the main antagonists in that book.
 * 21) **Done. Keep in mind her part in the last part of the trilogy was slim at best.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 02:22, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ***I'm going to look into that book later. For now, I'm not striking the objection. Darthchristian 03:05, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Very well.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:22, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *****I reread it, and you're right, though I could've sworn there was more to Daala in that book. Darthchristian 15:35, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *Expand LOTF greatly, and merge the last two sections in "Second Galactic Civil War," and start it off with, "Daala eventually returned from hiding at the request of her former, Pellaeon...."
 * 26) **I haven't read the Legacy of the Force series yet, but as far as merging and such goes, done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 12:53, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *Also, you're not supposed to vote for the article you nommed anymore, so I guess strike that vote. These objections may be harsh, but this article really is not even close to FA quality at this point. Daala has a lot of potential, so I really want to see her article completely fleshed out. Fix those objections, and I'll come back for more. Darthchristian 00:26, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) The Praetorite objections
 * 29) * Maybe change the second "female" in the first sentence of the intro to "woman" to avoid the repetition?
 * 30) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 13:08, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) *My main problem with this article is that there seems to be a lack of over-arching continuity in it:
 * 32) ** Commander Kratas should be mentioned early on, way before his death.
 * 33) ***He is now.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 13:08, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) **All the information given in Revelation needs to be incorporated into earlier areas of the article as it essentially explains what goes on post Scylla-battle.
 * 35) ***She tells Pellaeon to contact her via the Darakaer message when she vanishes
 * 36) ***She remains in contact with Boba Fett, and calls upon him at Fondor.
 * 37) ***She gets back together with Liegeus, who's killed, she loses an eye and vows revenge against the Moffs
 * 38) ***At some point after the Battle of Bastion she gains control of the Chimaera
 * 39) ***She does planets favours during the Yuuzhan Vong War (her own words), accrues a fleet and mounts some of the ships with Metal-Crystal Phase Shifters&mdash;tech taken from the Maw when she memory dumps all its information.
 * 40) **There is also a large lack of context about the Yuuzhan Vong War and the Second Galactic Civil War.
 * 41) **I'm aware my objections are perhaps a little vague and require you to sift through Revelation, but as Darthchristian said this has a long way to go, and I'm not trying to be difficult. Basically, at the moment the sectioning is basically by appearance, with information chunked together as it has been received&mdash;probably because she's sat dormant for so long. Major respects for getting her off the shelf. Harrar 12:41, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) ***I am afraid I personally can do little to address your LOTF related objections, as I have not read the series, but I hope that one of my fellow project members can do so.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 13:08, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Having written a few FAs and being a member of this project, I can add this info.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:41, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) BtS could do with some work. Add info about her characterization/development, what sort of role she played, how her promotion in Invincible was controversial, etc. Also, some of the BtS is inaccurate: "aside from a brief mention which stated she was believed to be dead in the New Essential Chronology, disappeared from canon for 10 years." Aside from implying that it's now post-2011, it's wrong; she was mentioned many times in NJO. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:59, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) *Done, with the exception of the Invincible promotion thing.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 13:23, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) **When I added that tidbit, I put 10 years because the last published work she appeared in before LOTF was PoT, hence the 10 years. And by not appearing, I meant not physically apearing. I didn't count mentions.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:37, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) ***On a related note, she actually appeared in Death Star before Revelation. Thefourdotelipsis 09:31, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) ****The related change shall be made to the BTS.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:08, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) *Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:41, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) Just One More Thing from Darthchristian
 * 51) *Can you describe the events that occured at the end of Champions of the Force, that her crew still had confidence in Daala, the losses she had obtained, etc.? It shouldn't be much to write, its just the status of Daala and the Gorgon after the battle.
 * 52) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 19:09, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) *Most of what I was going to address was picked up by other users, so that's all I have for now. Expect to see a list of grammatic issues later this week, as that's the last thing I believe this article needs before becoming a FA. Once all of my objections that are unaddressed are fixed, and the other users' objections have been have fixed, then you might find this article to be a lot more improved. Darthchristian 15:51, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Cebann Veekan

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 11:57, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nominations comments: Special thanks to Ozzel for BTS info and image.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Clean as a whistle, but I feel misled. I took a look at those comments and assumed this had some A Few Good Men tie-in or other legal reference, which is why I read it. BAH!  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:36, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *He looks like Kevin Bacon! What more do you want? :P Thefourdotelipsis 08:04, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Fourdot's WTS FAs always have really long BTS sections.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:19, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Colonel Jessep! Do you understand these rights as I have just read them to you? Thefourdotelipsis 11:57, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

Bidlo Kwerve

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:41, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This one's more interesting.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments
 * Rebel Dawn might start in 2 BBY, but Kwerve doesn't show up until the book has reached ANH's timeframe (0 BBY). Please correct these dates, including his date of death. --Borsk Fey'lya  Talk 12:30, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Good spot; fixed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:10, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Laigrek

 * Nominated by: User:Devan2 19:42, 17 June 2008
 * Nomination comments: It's detailed and long considering it's on a creature with very little information.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nomination adopted by Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 06:16, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Please read the requirements at the top of the page&mdash;it's less than 1000 words. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:46, 17 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I know I'm supposed to be on vacation. But the needs of the many (WP:KOTOR) come before the needs of the few or of the one. Current length is 1,090 words.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 06:16, 19 June 2008 (UTC)

Inquisitorius vote to remove nomination
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:46, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Take this to the GAN, my young apprentice.  Graestan ( Talk ) 14:12, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) It already is a GA, written by Eyrezer, and I don't think much more info can be gleaned from the sources/appearances. Plus, the nominator on this page has done no work on it at all.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:51, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Since when do we reward non-Inq laziness on the FAN page?   Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:33, 18 June 2008 (UTC)

Solomahal

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:32, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At 4dot's suggestion. Quite an interesting character.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Daine Jir

 * Nominated by: -- -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:12, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Bungo Bung

 * Nominated by: - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 14:18, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: How many other noms will have the phrase Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit in it?

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments