Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Nishr Taskforce


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nishr Taskforce

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 16:20, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WEG is gold

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 00:04, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 16:53, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:23, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Thefourdotelipsis 23:49, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) --Eyrezer 11:25, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Good ol' Cav One flava. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 12:28, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * "Kollis immediately ordered reprisal attacks, resulting in the bombings of three major cities. This was known as the Nishr Suppression." Bit choppy and talking slightly from OOU perspective.
 * 3) **Reworded.
 * 4) * Using "inserted" is a bit awkward wording.
 * 5) **Inserted is a term used to describe the deployment of military forces - usually those used in covert actions - into enemy territory for combat purposes. As such, I feel that its use is justified.
 * 6) * It's a bit unclear as to what Operation Shadowplay was (vs. what its plan included).
 * 7) **All that's known is that the glider deployment was part of the operation. Nothing else is mentioned, but I rejigged the mention to hopefully make it a little clearer.
 * 8) * Sounds strange mentioning Csino is a Human male and a Wilderness Fighter all the way down in the Combat elements when he's already mentioned before.
 * 9) **I tried placing the information in the history section, but it destroys the flow of the section and feels like the info is being crowbarred in there when it doesn't need to be.
 * 10) *Good work otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 23:01, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:15, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Floyd? Floyd is here?
 * 13) * Specify what the Nishr campaign is in the intro.
 * 14) **Specified.
 * 15) * "Operating out of several hidden bases, the company—in concert with local forces from the Nishr Resistance—eliminated the Imperial garrison's mobile elements, forcing the Imperials to heavily defend their command base, effectively conceding control of the countryside and plains to the Rebel force." Split this sentence up to make it flow better.
 * 16) **Split.
 * 17) * "Although Governor-General Vin Kollis attempted to treat the Nish moderately," Moderately? I don't think that can be used in this context.
 * 18) **Moderately is used in the source, but I've added some more detail to clarify.
 * 19) * .Give more information on the Nishr Resistance.
 * 20) **Nothing else is known, unfortunately.
 * 21) * Put into context the fact that Zast was free-born. What relevance does it have?
 * 22) **Context given.
 * 23) *Very well done.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:06, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks for the review. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:15, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) Very well-written. However, in other organization articles I've seen around, the "history" section comes after the "organization"/"ranks"/etc. section(s). Is it possible to switch these around? I think it would read much better if so. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 12:02, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *I based the sub-sections of other organization FAs which has a history section first, followed by organization - 181st Imperial Fighter Group, Dark Side Elite (as Headquarters and forces), Empire Reborn (as Membership of the Empire Reborn), Matukai, Rakehell Squadron and Wraith Squadron. Bureau of Scouting and Exploration Services uses a Creation section akin to a History section. Only Imperial Sentinel, Karazak Slavers Cooperative, and Sun Guard use them the other way around. Since there was no established standard, I chose to follow the more prevalent example. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:14, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Works for me. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 12:28, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments