Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Battle of the Forge

Duel at Vur Tepe (Bengel Morr)

 * Nominated by: Cade   Calrayn  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg 02:38, June 3, 2012 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first FAN! Fitting that it's the finale of the Tython storyline... now to get the rest of Project Hero's Tython stuff up to status.

Object
From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * That redlink in the infobox should be fixed, per WP:FAN, item 8. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:32, June 3, 2012 (UTC)
 * Done. Cade   Calrayn  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg 03:42, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Savaged&hellip;
That's it. Nice work! ~ Savage  11:55, June 3, 2012 (UTC)
 * Just a few preliminary objections for the moment. First off, should this be "Duel at Vur Tepe" rather than "Duel at the Forge?" As far as I can tell, the place is never referred to as Vur Tepe in the game, and that name had fallen into disuse by the time of the events discussed in the article. Ancient names are all well and good, but when they're not used for centuries, we tend to prefer later names, at least with characters. Seems the same should apply here?
 * Be sure to use the Gamemechanics and GameLSmechanics where necessary. I'll have more once these are addressed. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 11:23, June 3, 2012 (UTC)
 * Moar! We can't call the Padawan "unknown" since, presumably, they were not unknown in-universe.
 * Seems odd to call them "the native Flesh Raiders of the Jedi Order's homeworld Tython." The Flesh Raiders were there first, and the Jedi came later, so maybe add an "adopted" in there for the Jedi or something?
 * I think you need to cite a non-TOR source for the Je'daii stuff, since it's never mentioned in-game.
 * Be sure to link the PC Padawan upon first mention in the body.
 * Try to position images so they don't interfere with quotes when possible, usually (if left-justified) by moving them below the quote.
 * Since almost half of this article is about things other than the duel between the Padawan and Morr, would it be more appropriate to title it "Battle at..." ? I mean, there are lots of Flesh Raiders being killed too. If you really just want to focus on the duel, I think there's way too much lead-up material here for that, personally. More of the article deals with the buildup to the duel than the duel itself.
 * If you want to keep the Je'daii stuff, I think it's important to give context on how they differ from the Jedi, especially in the phrase, "used by the Je'daii and the Jedi..."
 * Where do you get the bit about T7 killing the bodyguards? Can't the player do that him- or herself if desired? I think I did, but I could be misremembering.
 * I think the two bodyguards could conceivably get articles, since they're not just cannon-fodder enemies.
 * I think the bit you have in the quote, about the Padawan being the weapon Morr was supposed to forge, is important and should be mentioned in the body as well.
 * "misguided" is POV, technically.
 * As a non-sentient species, should Jurgoran be capitalized?
 * Is Tao'ven turning herself in the canon outcome? I think in my game, I forgave her and still got light side points, but I can't remember if she turns herself in anyway.
 * Try to go back through the events you've described and write in Bengel Morr and the Flesh Raider's side of things. As it stands, you've got a good account of the events, but it's one-sided, only from the Jedi POV. Read between the lines and rather than telling us what Morr and his army is up to as the Jedi discovered it, read backward in the timeline and just tell us in the article that "meanwhile, Morr captured Din and brought him to the Forge" or whatever.
 * Try to rewrite the BTS so that it's in chronological order. The stuff with the Twi'leks comes before the stuff with Bengel Morr, for instance.
 * Is it possible to Quick Travel away from the Forge and avoid the Forge Guardian?

501st

 * The "youmay" does not give a link to the other duel. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 19:48, June 3, 2012 (UTC)