Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Adar Tallon


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(5 Inq/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:37, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent article. An enjoyable read.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:06, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium 08:46, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Yuhp. Cull Tremayne 06:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Image:CmdteTallon2.JPG could surely use a rescan.
 * 3) **I will get our resident image doctors on it posthaste.
 * 4) * Is there any information on Tallon's homeworld, early life, etc?
 * 5) **"If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it."
 * 6) ***It would have been nice to get a bit more early background on him, but like you said, if it ain't there... *sigh* Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * "He became a celebrity to the point that "fans" would have posters of him on their walls." A celebrity among whom? Were there any specific exploits that prompted this following?
 * 8) **I've elaborated slightly, but basically he's a celebrity because of everything that proceeds that comment in the bio.
 * 9) * "Tallon did not warm to the new government" sounds a bit stilted...could you reword this clause please?
 * 10) **Rejiggered.
 * 11) * As does this: "Palpatine himself payed attention to Tallon: being a war hero, he could influence the population."&mdash;actually, that whole first paragraph of the "Feigning Death" section could be reworded for style.
 * 12) **I've tweaked that slightly, if you're still not happy I'll tweak, tweak again. ;)
 * 13) * In the P&T section, again, how did he become a celebrity?
 * 14) **Again, basically because of the events in the bio before he feigns his death. This is probably a point that can just be presented as in, and we'll let readers "connect-the-dots" so to speak, since "Fought in Clone Wars and made good" and then "Was a celebrity" kinda makes sense as is. Thefourdotelipsis 06:55, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:28, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:CmdteTallon2.JPG: Quite .jpg artifact-y. --Imperialles 18:42, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Goodwood's too fast for me. --Imperialles 18:58, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 3) * "Quist exchanged Kay's life for his own and also fled." Clarify this please-to me, it read that Kay was killed, but maybe I'm just ridiculously dense, because she's alive later.
 * 4) **Yeah, that wording was a bit odd. I think I've made it clearer.
 * 5) * More context on the Corellian spacer incident. It's an RPG, but surely a bit more detail would be nice if available.
 * 6) **This requires vagueness, as the quest can be completed a variety of ways. Rather than assuming that one is canon and the other is not, I've left it vague until we get confirmation. Or something.
 * 7) * Beef up P&T please.
 * 8) **Would that I could. He's a supporting character and a cameo-whore, he doesn't really have a lot of personality. Thefourdotelipsis 22:54, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Here's what I'm looking for in the P&T: A mention of his "better half" and their relationship. His willingness to work hands-on and lead from the front-i.e. his upgrading of fighter craft personally and undertake missions himself. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:08, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ****There's seriously nothing about their relationship. Or his wife, really. It's just "he's married." I've added a bit of a note about him going off after his pilots which I had forgotten about, and a little bit about him working on starfighters, but trust me when I say that there's nothing to be said about his marriage. Thefourdotelipsis 07:11, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *****Well, not that it's your fault at all on the wife thing, but that's lame. Someone *cough Abel Pena cough* needs to give him more backstory. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:05, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:49, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it. Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Isn't there a pic of him from Galaxies? --Eyrezer 04:34, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Yes, it should be here in the next couple of days. Also, it's horrendous. Thefourdotelipsis 07:00, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Overall this article, while comprehensive and laid out according to rules and such, could use a general uplifting of the quality of its prose. I know you can do better, Dot, so this won't be an actual objection...but it'd be nice if you would take the time to improve the overall flow and style.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)