Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article".

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article".

Also remember to add Nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(3 Inq/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) (Re)Nominated, after pulling it down a week ago and doing some work on it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:57, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Here ya go, Chack. Nice job! Much better than when I last read it a couple weeks ago. Keep up the good work, and go poke more Inqs to review it again :P  Greyman ( Paratus ) 21:02, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Much improved.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:36, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 18:18, 10 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Family-sized pasta bowl of Fiolli
 * 2) * Intro does not state that he was in fact a dark Jedi; It should also be mentioned somewhere in Creation.
 * 3) * Third paragraph of Creation: It says "this clone" became ruler of Wayland&hellip;" but does not explain. The intro implies that he was sent by Palpatine to be the Guard.
 * 4) ** Still uncertain as to whether Palpatine sent the clone to Wayland or not. Was there an edict or mission?
 * 5) ***Seems it could possibly be expanded even more, but I'll leave it to the Inqery to judge that. I'm not going to hold it up.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:08, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) ****There is really nothing on C'baoth before Thrawn discovers him. I don't think anything definitively states he was sent by Palpatine, or how.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) * Third paragraph of Creation: can the details of the fight be expanded slightly? Not an objection, but a suggestion.
 * 8) * First paragraph of Service/Thrawn: "Upon revealing himself to the Jedi&hellip;" Would dark Jedi be better?
 * 9) * Same sentence: "told them" - A bit awkward since Thrawn was not mentioned as being accompanied.
 * 10) * Fourth paragraph of Service/Thrawn: "he would come to him." Not quite sure who goes to who in this statement.
 * 11) * Same paragraph: What/why was Skywalker skeptical? Was he skeptical about C'baoth?
 * 12) * Fifth paragraph of Showdown: "Luke's clone caused a strange buzzing in his head by simply being near him (a possible effect of clone madness)." Was the buzzing in Luke's head or Luuke's head (or both?) This clears up the next sentence of who was distracted.
 * 13) * Clone Identity: I know you didn't add these paragraphs, but I think the information is valuable. Perhaps better suited in P&T, though. The statements, however, do need to be sourced if they are in fact correct.
 * 14) * P&A: "He had the power to take control of other's minds, and literally reshape them in his own image, a feat unmatched by anyone before." Can this be sourced? It doesn't quite seem to be NPoV.
 * 15) **Better.
 * 16) *I am not an expert on all policy here, but here are some thoughts. Nice work, though. The article is better!  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:45, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 17) **Again, nice work, "Chack." Didn't know that much about the subject until now.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:29, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) *From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 19) * The minor point where Artoo blasts C'baoth and nearly kills him with a laser cannon burst might be important. (on Jomark)
 * 20) * The article dances around mentioning how C'baoth got back to Wayland but never discusses it explicitly. Please do so.
 * 21) *Chimaera is neither explained or linked. No context is given.
 * 22) **Still not linked on first mention and the last time it is used is in need of italics. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:12, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Ugh. Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) * C'baoth's ability to send mental messages across distances needs a mention.
 * 25) * Why did that irrelevant section about Thrawn's death and Rukh and all that come back? I objected to that in this article's first round of nomination. It doesn't serve a purpose to the article and tells us nothing further about C'baoth. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:12, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 26) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:36, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 27) From the whosigowhatsit of Four Dot
 * 28) * The image use could be much, much better.
 * 29) **Satisfactory, or still not quite?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Well, this isn't totally objectionable, but there are two images of him just standing there that could probably be replaced with "doing stuff" pictures. Thefourdotelipsis 21:58, 12 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * You need to provide better context at the start of the "Service to Thrawn" section. Talk about why Thrawn wanted him, ect, ect.
 * 32) * And on that note, the second paragraph in that section is barely relevant to Joruus.
 * 33) * Why is there a section on the Ukio attack long before it actually happens?
 * 34) * "He began training Skywalker, teaching him many things contrary to what Yoda had taught the young Jedi, such as that Jedi were superior to others." - Unwieldy. Might want to rewrite that one.
 * 35) * And in the rest of that paragraph, there's a lot of repetition of "He did this. He did that".
 * 36) * I'm not sure exactly how the second last paragraph of "Service to Thrawn" is related to Joruus.
 * 37) * Been a while since I read the books, but wasn't there a scene where Joruus took over the Chimaera, albeit briefly?
 * 38) * Fifth paragraph of Showdown on Wayland. Again, I'm not really sure how it relates to Joruus. Can, and must be more concise.
 * 39) * The last paragraph could use some cleaning up too. Also, some aftermath to his death would be good, instead of "He exploded, the end."
 * 40) * P&T could do with some mention of the original C'boath, and how his traits were passed on.
 * 41) * P&A could be expanded quite a bit. Based on the image accompanying it alone.
 * 42) * BTS could do with some beefing up as well.
 * 43) **How is it now? There's really not much that can be added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 44) *This might sound harsh, but I think this will require a lot of work to get up to scratch. If it can be done, well and good, but it's not going to be easy. I'm not as familiar with the original material as I should be, but I doubt, for some reason that every single source and appearance has been mined for information thoroughly, and that's really what has to happen before I support. Thefourdotelipsis 23:48, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 45) Just one more thing
 * 46) * General Covell needs a mention by name, a link. The guy C'baoth bonds to his own brain in TLC, as I recall. It's a pretty impressive techinique. Every last scrap of pertinent detail, after all :P Harrar 20:35, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 47) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 48) *Image placement/sizing could use some tweaking.
 * 49) * Drop the parenthetical statement; it reads more as a casual aside, when in fact it could be stated.
 * 50) **Fixed.
 * 51) * I remember the TTT being hazy and full of guesswork regarding C'baoth's origins, but do we have to make it look that bad here, too?
 * 52) **Any better? That's kind of difficult to explain, but in my opinion it's important, and I'd like to keep it if possible.
 * 53) * Is "Guardian" a title to be capitalized? Check the books. If so, capitalize the rest; if not, de-capitalize Guardian of Mount Tantiss in the prose.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) * There has to be some article out there for that redlink.
 * 56) **Fixed.
 * 57) * I'm not big on speculative origins of names in the BtS. Unless there is an author confirmation, I think it should be left out of the article.
 * 58) **Fixed.
 * 59) * Per Fourdot on the information. Every stated source and appearance should have at least some information from it represented in the article; I typically check this merely by looking at the "Notes and references" section.
 * 60) **All non-Mo appearances, yes. Sources, no, unless there is new information provided in them. Greyman ( Paratus ) 20:51, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) ***Yep. All sources have been checked.
 * 62) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:10, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) From the undisclosed location of Darth Culator:
 * 64) *Image arrangement just... bugs me.
 * 65) *Refs the Fact Files, but which Fact File?
 * Image:Joruscbaoth.jpg is not the same as the HttE cover. Where is it actually from? And once we know that, can we get a clearer version?
 * 1) *EGttF is listed in sources, but nothing refs it? Really?
 * 2) **Yeah. He's basically just mentioned once or twice. Should I remove it from the soruces then, as it adds no info?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:18, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) ***No, leave it in, but a might be in order. --Eyrezer 20:54, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *That's it from me, for the moment. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:48, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) General prose still lacking. Can't support this until better. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:27, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *Any better?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

(6 Inq/4 Users/10 Total)
Support
 * 1) Havac 07:05, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Finger lickin' Thefourdotelipsis 21:54, 13 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) I like it. Janeway 13:37, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Impressive.  Stake black   msg 22:09, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) My fourth favorite smuggler.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:54, 19 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 6)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:54, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) Love to see it front page Enochf 02:31, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:18, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 9)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 18:25, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 22:50, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Numerous redlinks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  16:53, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *Dammit, I knew there was something I forgot to do before I nommed it. I'll get those tonight. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) **Only one redlink left, under the limit. Havac 00:08, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Image:Karrde-closeup.jpg, Image:Karrde-screen.jpg, Image:Karrde-stressed.jpg, Image:Karrde-waiting.jpg, Image:Karrde-council.jpg, Image:Karrde-ambush.jpg, Image:Karrde-Calius.jpg, Image:Karrde-intruder.jpg, Image:Karrde-vornskr.jpg, Image:Karrde-bride.jpg, Image:TalonInAction.JPG and Image:KarrdeNJO.jpg are all distorted and need to be re-scanned. --Imperialles 17:23, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) *I'm putting Red on it. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) **Image:KarrdeNJO.jpg is a no-can-do. There is only one scan out there, and I've already improved it as much as possible. -- Ozzel 01:13, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Where's the SWG info? --Imperialles 17:23, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) *He stands around in a cantina and occasionally directs people to some kind of pilot recruiter. "In 1 ABY, Karrde spent some time in a cantina on Mos Eisley and had a bunch of random jackasses ask him for directions to the bathroom pilot trainer" isn't really heavy-duty info. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) **IIRC he sends you to the Karthakk system to meet one of Nym's guys, then you have to fight against some NPC ships (pirates?), and then he sends you to the pilot trainer in the Lucky Despot to deliver some informationt to her. I think there's a bit more of a story than "go talk to this or that guy to become a pilot". And this looks like he had some more missions before they moved him to Tatooine. --Craven 02:41, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Well, I don't have the game, and Allakhazam has nothing other than the quests which aren't his anymore and the mention of him sending people to pilot trainers. If you've got more information, I'd be willing to add it. Havac 03:29, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Added what I can from the limited information I have. Havac 03:14, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) *****As soon as I find my DVD with my old SWG screenshots, I'm going to look through them for some more information. Shouldn't it be mentioned that he was the leader of the "Smuggler Alliance" organization in 1 ABY? --Craven 18:56, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) ******Should it? Because the Smugglers' Alliance didn't exist in 1 ABY. Havac 23:07, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) *******I know, but I guess the Galaxies developers missed that fact, because the game says that Karrde, Dravis and others are members of the "Smuggler Alliance" and that Karrde is its leader. Looks like an ugly continuity error, but it doesn't have to be the same organization as the one founded in the Thrawn Trilogy. --Craven 23:18, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) ********Where does it say that? Galaxies isn't exactly a hotbed of background info, is it? Havac 23:40, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) *********The Smuggler Alliance is one of the three neutral pilot factions players can join. --Imperialles 23:59, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) **********And the NPC is called "Talon Karrde (Smuggler's Alliance Leader)". The spellling of the organization's name is not always consistent (Smuggler Alliance / Smuggler's Alliance / Smugglers Alliance). --Craven 01:21, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) ***********Worked in what I could. Havac 04:16, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) From ze desk of ze Atarumaster88
 * 16) * In "Climbing into the ranks", why does "Karrde's organization retained the name of the Car'das, at least initially" have that extraneous "the" in it?
 * 17) * More sectioning needed. For example, "Climbing into the ranks" could have the subsections of "early life and career", "takeover", "neutrality", etc. Inq vote may be needed on this one.
 * 18) * Should Katana fleet be italicized?
 * 19) * Maybe it's just a bad memory of TTT, but I don't recall Karrde actually ordering Ghent to slip the New Rep's funds to pay for the smugglers. Or I'm thinking of a part where Karrde doesn't have enough time to get to Coruscant to have Ghent write them onto the payroll.-->"In an attempt to salvage the alliance, Karrde had Ghent slice into the New Republic's coffers and divert payment to the group; Karrde considered it advance payment to keep them going until they found the cloning center."
 * 20) * Missing period and missing ref: "Karrde also at some point wrote a piece regarding the information he had learned about the Aing-Tii" right at the end of "Going legitimate"
 * 21) * I question Karrde's categorization as a bureaucrat; he never held a recorded gov't position AFAIK
 * 22) * Please go ahead and spell out Reference #50 in BTS with all three books rather than alter the existing syntax.
 * 23) * Where is the image of Zahn as Karrde? I didn't see it in the article. Please add this.
 * 24) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:38, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * Re-FA nomination. Havac 07:05, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Holy kark. That intro is enormous. Will it even fit into the box on the front page? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:38, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * As a renom, I thought since it was already on the front page, it wasn't going on again? (or did we change that?)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 18:27, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * True, but that's not really the point. It's just a huge intro. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:53, 11 January 2008 (UTC)

(6 Inqs/3 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.Harrar 15:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:32, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:56, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:22, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:37, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Thefourdotelipsis 07:06, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Excellent work.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:14, 18 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) pushes something heavy NGAAL...UH!  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 17:41, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 23:02, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * "Ngaaluh was a female Yuuzhan Vong Deception Sect priestess; during the Yuuzhan Vong War, however, she became a leading member of the heretical movement among the lower castes of her species, a movement which eventually proved crucial in the downfall of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire." I suggest removing the semi-colon and making these two separate sentences.
 * 3) **Yeah I rearranged the intro a little. See how you like it Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) * Link villip the first time it's mentioned.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:18, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) **Linked. Thanks for your help. Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 7) * Can we get bullet points for the Affiliation field of the infobox?
 * 8) **Yep! Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) * The IU consensus seems to be that "Deception Sect" should not be capitalized, please fix.
 * 10) **De-capitalized everywhere. Except for Deception sect in infobox. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) * Please reword "by her mysterious wartime captive" in the intro for accuracy. Vergere was not her captive specifically, rather the subject of her interrogation efforts.
 * 12) **Done. See how you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) * Executor should not be capitalized.
 * 14) **So should Prefect and Intendant not be either. De-capitalized Executors. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) ***In essence, you've nailed it; prefect and intendant are capitalized when used as titles or when referring to the Intendant caste.-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:27, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) * "As a disciple of Yun-Harla, Ngaaluh was well-versed in subterfuge and intelligence, and it was simple for her, with an honest degree of piety, to locate the heretical movement thriving in the underlevels of re-shaped Coruscant." This sentence could perhaps be rewritten. In addition, please add a link to Yu'shaa immediately after.
 * 17) **Rewritten, link added. See if you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) * The second paragraph of the Infiltration section needs to be rewritten for order and clarity.
 * 19) **I hope I've re-written the right paragraph, and I hope I've made it better. Have a look Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) * There seems to be a missing conjunction here "When one inquisition into Prefect Ash'ett of the Vishtu Sector was organized, Ngaaluh regarded the framing and discrediting of the Prefect as a chance to install a loyal heretic in his place; Anor was merely ridding himself of an old rival.".
 * 21) **Was re-worded with the rest of the paragraph. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Ngaaluh was a fanatic who swore to give her life, and did so, for the movement in which she believed so passionately." could be rewritten a bit better, transposing the "and did so" clause to the end and tweaking it a bit.
 * 23) **Rewritten. See what you think. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) * The last sentence of the BtS section is a bit of a run-on.
 * 25) **(Hopefully) nailed it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 26) *TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:07, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 27) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 28) * The way you have written the BTS, there is little need to add the footnote ref tags. The mention of each novel in the relevant sentence(s) makes it unnecessary.
 * 29) **Removed the ref tags.
 * 30) *Other than that, it looks good. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:38, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Thanks for looking at it dude. Harrar 16:40, 18 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Sadly there is no picture, and I'm not too sure about having Nom Anor in there&mdash;more of a way of breaking up the text. Good fun to write though (and sorry it's another character) :P Harrar 15:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
 * It's a pretty good article overall.-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:07, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Cheers and thanks for t'input. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Heh, no problemo. Thanks for addressing my issues so quickly.-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:27, 21 December 2007 (UTC)

(0 Inq/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) I'M BAAAAAACK! - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:28, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 02:48, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) another tribute to the phenominal capability's of collaborative writing (i.e. wookiepedians) and deserves to shown on the front page for that alone. Wilhelm screamer 02:06, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) There are several instances where the text refers to the armor as being "donned" by Anakin/Vader. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say it was forced upon him by his circumstances and Sidious, who created and ensconced him within it without Vader's permission? -- Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:17, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Maybe so, but it's 93 characters shorter; and I believe I fixed it. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  23:21, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) Did not read it yet, but Image:Empire Vol 3 043.jpg' seems out of place. Those...things in the background are odd. However, if a better one can not be found, I'll understand and strike my objection.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:29, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Perhaps so. Solution 1: Get in tighter on his arm. Solution 2: Pick another image that has something to do with the text near the disputed image, and I can't seem to find an image that fits that. I will crop, and see if that helps. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  00:52, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Is that better? - Solus (Bird of Prey)  00:55, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * The intro should be expanded to more thoroughly cover the information provided in the main body.
 * Lengthened. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:22, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * Image:Vader_helmet3.jpg needs source information. Image:WithinMask.jpg needs a rescan. Image:BatsignalVader.jpg needs to be cropped; the frame is visible. Image:Dvbones1.jpg also has a visible frame. Image:A36xo.jpg could use a re-upload with better res. Image:Clone_Wars_Vol_9_135.jpg could use a rescan, and the frame cropped out.
 * I believe these have all been addressed. I could not get a better res of Image:A36xo.jpg, so I replaced it with a different image. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  15:57, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * If you'd like, I'll replace Image:A36xo.jpg with a HD version. Also, is there any particular reason you used Image:WithinMask.jpg instead of Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg? I can highdefify that one too. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:18, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
 * If you could, I'd appreciate it. As to the reason I chose Image:WithinMask.jpg instead of Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg was because I can see more in the first one. In the second, you see two spikes, and the rest is black. It would probably be better if it was high-deffied, and probably done a few seconds beforehand in the movie. When the mask gets at the angle where the glare is bright, like in Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg, it blurs the mask. In the few seconds beforehand, there is a really good shot of the inside. - Solus  (Bird of Prey)  17:53, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
 * I can't rescan Image:Clone_Wars_Vol_9_135.jpg any better than it already is. If anyone can, I would appreciate it. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Maybe Image Junkie # 1 or Image Junkie # 2 can help you out. Graestan ( Talk ) 17:43, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * The BtS seems disjointed; I'm not a fan of the one-sentence paragraphs. Please reorganize. Also, is that all you could come up with for BtS information? Darth Vader's armor is iconic. A nice OOU quote for the BtS can be found, at the very least.
 * I watched the III audio commentary, I watched the Chosen One featurette, I watched EOD, I watched the little II preview BTS things, and I looked through DAG. All that I found I put in the article. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:50, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * Could a scroll box be added for the notes and references so that they do not overlap so?
 * Added. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:00, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:59, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Here's where Graestan gets a little more detail-oriented:
 * 3) * First sentence of intro should be rewritten. Emphasis on title of article's appearance should be dropped in favor of a sentence more flowing and less redundant. Stating that it is armor after calling is armor will not do.
 * 4) **Changed to 'suit.' - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***...and Topwara changed it back. I don't want to start an edit war over it. I'll see if I can change it in any other way. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:06, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "The ability to be truly Human again" smacks of original research. Wasn't he aware that he could not be fully biological again?
 * 7) **Changed to be more specific. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Present tense in the last sentence of the second paragraph of "Description."
 * 9) **Fixed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Anything more on the chain? Is it purely decorative, or does it have function?
 * 11) **Nope, nothing more on it. It looks as if its just for decoration, but I don't know of anything that says anything for or against that theory. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Mention the switches on his control box. Star Wars Technical Journal goes into it, I believe. In fact, you really should look at that source; if I remember correctly, it offers quite a bit.
 * 13) **I'll have to find someone who has access to that. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * One-sentence paragraph on the heart should be merged into the middle of the above paragraph.
 * 15) **Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Please remove weasel word "apparently."
 * 17) **Vaped. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * Vader suffering pain on the loss of his hand sounds speculative. How do we know for sure he was expressing pain?
 * 19) **Good point. Deleted. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Nix any mentions like "remains a mystery." State what we do know, not what we don't.
 * 21) **Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * "As for his hearing" reads amateurish.
 * 23) **Changed wording. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * Paragraph on nutrition has some redundancy to be worked out.
 * 25) **I believe this is taken care of. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Limbs" has insufficient sourcing&hellip;Episode IV does not mention anything about Vader lifting people using only the Force. In fact, you need to check over the whole article for such things; if I find another I'm going to be rather upset.
 * 27) **Thank you for pointing that out, I found another similar tidbit and deleted that one, too. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) * Remove parentheses; they read like a casual aside. Punctuation can accomplish just as much and more.
 * 29) **Nixed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) * "Vader's breather seemed to have an automatic mode that could be more thoroughly independent of Vader's will or mind than the unconscious breathing reflex of a healthy Human. This mode was most peculiarly manifest on occasions when Vader spoke and breathed at the same time."&mdash;Smacks of OR
 * 31) **More objectively stated. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * "The droids spent many days remaking him; the Ubrikkian "Galactic Chopper" DD-13 oversaw the installation of his cybernetic implants, prosthetic limbs, and synthetic organs, and the FX-9 performed numerous blood transfusions and stabilized the terrible damage done to Vader's eyes, vocal cords, scalp, face, arms, legs, and especially his lungs, which had been scarred, and were now mostly dead alveoli and constricted passages."&mdash;Exceedingly long and ponderous; break up.
 * 33) **Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) * Redundancy between the last and third-to-last paragraphs of "Origin."
 * 35) **Merged and culled. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * "Probably intentionally missing his chest plate to go for the softer material beside it"&mdash;Speculation.
 * 37) **Fixed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) * Whether or not Kadann is false is moot in this article.
 * 39) **Removed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * The two one-sentence paragraphs need to be fit into other ones in "Discomfort and limitations." There are suitable homes for them.
 * 41) **Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) * First paragraph of "Lighsaber combat" cannot be adequately sourced&hellip;I don't remember Ataru or Soresu being mentioned in that book.
 * 43) **I can't find it either. Deleted. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) ***It is in Dark Lord: Rise of Darth Vader. The words "Ataru" and "Soresu" aren't used, but it's there. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) * Graestan ( Talk ) 18:48, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) From the Grey of Man:
 * 47) *Is there a specific reason why the Appearances redirects to the Anakin Skywalker appearances? Unless I'm missing something, I don't see why the Darth Vader appearances can't be copied into this article to avoid a needless redirect.
 * Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) *No info from Perfect Evil which sees Vader's armor take a severe beating from a lightsaber totting Tusken. It seems slightly significant to mention, IMO.
 * Yes, that would be important... but I don't have access to the comic. Do you know of anyone who does who can put that into the article? - Solus (Bird of Prey)  15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Greyman ( Paratus ) 05:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) Some things:
 * 2) * In the "Design" section, silver is not a "color." It is a shade of grey, which, as a mixture of black and white (I think black is a shade...), is a hue. Try and reword. Later on, you say the same thing about "grey." Grey is not a color.
 * O.o Okaay. Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * The opening quote is not one of Vader's thoughts. It's Luceno's own prose. Try finding an actual "thought," which is represented in the novel as italicized print. I suggest, "This is not living," the line that immediately precedes what you have, on pg 63. You'll see the difference of how that is an actual thought.
 * If you say so... - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * I would personally like to see some kind of description of how Vader's helmet was a "death's head" representation, as I recall this being a common descriptive term in several sources.
 * I haven't noticed, and wouldn't that be considered POV or too prose-y? - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) **I would say, no, that "death head" is simply a descriptive term, but I missed the line where you compare the helmet to a skull. That's the same thing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) * Unless I've missed it, I saw nothing mentioning how the suit was a)designed by Palpatine himself (I believe it was), and b)used by him as a tool to keep Vader "down," to emphasize his own superiority, though this may have simply been Vader's own suspicions
 * I nearly killed myself going through the novels and comics looking for stuff about Vader, and I don't recall seeing anything mentioned (un-speculatively) about those things. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) **I may be wrong on it being designed by Palpatine. I couldn't find anything in Dark Lord, but as far as the second part, from pg. 79, if you have Dark Lord, Luceno writes, "Or...had Sidious deliberately engineered this prison?" in reference to his limitations. Try to include some information on this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:51, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  04:47, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) * Go through and try to make links for each appropriate term.
 * Done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  20:58, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) **It's best if each link reflects the exact title of the page it links to. As an arbitrary ex, don't just put a link around "Leia." Make sure it links to "Leia Organa Solo." I've cleaned up a good portion of the page in this manner, but try to finish up the rest for the sake of HTML perfection. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) ***You don't need to do anything to "durasteel," for ex, since that is already the title of that page. Just incomplete names, like X-wing should link to T-65 X-wing starfighter. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) ****I think I've completed that. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  04:47, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Make sure each picture and quote caption is properly punctuated, meaning commas and periods, specifically.
 * I believe this is taken care of. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:07, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) **I went in a finished this up for you. For future reference, periods should be avoided in quotation captions. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *All in all, well researched. I'm not sure how much everyone contributed, but someone took a lot of time and effort to put this thing together. I especially enjoyed seeing everything presented properly from the Shadows of the Empire novel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:52, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Thank you. Most of the people helped me get information, or copied information from sources I could not get a hold of myself. Ataru provided constructive criticism, and Gonk helped me cull the speculative parts and made sure that I properly portrayed the technology. The text was mostly me. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  21:07, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) Some more things
 * 2) * The first phrase of the intro...was it "essentially" a mobile life support system, or was it a mobile life support system?
 * 3) **Fixed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I made a few extra changed to remove some redundant phrasing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * Per good writing of any sort, when referring to a person initially, use their full name. All subsequent mentions of that person should include their last name only. Make sure you go through and fix anywhere where someone's first name only is used, and replace it with their last names. They aren't our friends. For future reference, you can apply this also to how you link things. It's best to always refer to something first by its official title, for ex, the T-65 X-wing starfighter, and every mention from thereon can just use "X-wing."
 * 6) **Okay, I believe I've done this. There are some instances when I used 'Luke' or 'Anakin' after their initial mention, but only to rid any confusion as to which Skywalker I'm talking about. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Yeah, those are fine. Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * I'm still concerned for some of your quotes. You need to make sure that anything you use for a quote is truly either spoken dialogue or something presented in italics that is clearly a thought. First, the Palpatine quote under the "Design" section - can you confirm that that is not prose? Secondly, Vader's "thought" under the "Meditation spheres" section. Simply by the way this is presented in third person tells me it's prose and not a direct thought. That needs to be replaced.
 * 9) **I personally don't see anything wrong with 'narrative' quotes if they are presented from someone's point of view other than the author's. The original intro quote does much better than the one we have now, and it was his thoughts. As well, the quote under 'Meditation spheres' is in the III novel, in a section whose header is, 'This is what it's like to be Anakin Skywalker.' Everything under that header is thoughts, except the italics, those are the dialogue. As well, the one under the design follows a sentence that says that 'to the shadow [Sidious], it was&hellip;a magnificent jewel box [&hellip;]' It is presented as what Sidious was thinking. Stover writes some of his stuff funny. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Putting prose into quotes doesn't work because they simply are not quotes. It defeats the purpose of having quotations in the body of the article. Only include that which is presented to us in actual quotations or in italics, both symbolizing verbal speech, be it extroverted or introverted. While this doesn't appear to be "official policy," upon some checking, I've seen others attempt to do as you are doing, and it was frowned upon. I'm going to start CT after I finish typing this. Feel free to ask some Inqs about doing as you see fit. I understand what you are saying, where some non-quotation text can be used as a quote, but this doesn't work for what you are trying. This would work in the form of someone's memoirs, or a journal, for example. And, this may be a mistake, but the quote under the Meditation section is sourced from Dark Lord, not the Episode III novel. If it's presented in third person text, it's clearly a third person/outside description, not his own thoughts. There is a difference. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ****I think I'm understanding you. I'll try to find something else. As for the quote I said was from the ROTS novel, I was confused, I thought you were talking of something else. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  14:50, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Also, I'm really a big proponent of Graestan's efforts to clean up the BTS sections around here. See if you can't sub-section the BTS. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) **If I have understood you correctly, this is done. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Added another section to split up canon and non-canon appearances. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) Now some nitpicking
 * 16) * I'm seeing too many instances where something is linked twice within the article. Link it once in the intro, and one again in the article. Go through and make sure everything is linked only once, in its initial mention, and no where else.
 * 17) *You make alot of mentions to minor characters that I personally, having never read some of these things, have no idea who they are. Now imagine a casual Star Wars fan, who probably doesn't know who anyone is outside of the films. Who is Koffi Arana? Xora? Go through and make sure some kind of description precedes each individual, even those most familiar to us; i.e. "the bounty hunter Boba Fett," "the racist senator Strom Thurmond," whatever.
 * 18) *I know I've stripped you of some major quotes, but see if you can't dig some up somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:22, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *I just noticed this. There is no mention of how Luke Skywalker dons a virtually identical suit, sans the helmet, of course, to his father after turning to the dark side in Dark Empire. Significant enough to warrant a mention, at the very least. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:37, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *If memory serves, the novelization of A New Hope includes a sequence during the scene where Vader confronts Leia aboard the Tantive IV in which Leia defiantly spits on Vader's mask, and her saliva sizzles as if the mask is hot. Interesting enough to be included. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:25, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Make sure you include a list of actual sources that the suit appears in, and then make sure each source is presented chronologically in respect to when it was published OOU, not by IU timeline. Upon a cursory glance at the source list on the List of Darth Vader appearances article, that list is not in proper order, so copying and pasting will only solve half of the problem. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:59, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *The Appearances list needs to be formatted correctly. And researched a little more thoroughly, I might add. Thefourdotelipsis 07:32, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) *Now you'll need to go in and clean up AdmiralKadann's latest edit to the BTS Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:39, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Additional cleanup will be needed as others make edits in your absence. Hope you haven't crapped out on us, Solus! Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:28, 9 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *I see nothing from Allegiance, which describes Vader's ability to see in the dark through his optical enhancers; and, his inability for that matter, in the moment his mask requires to adjust to sudden lighting changes. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:22, 21 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) Two things:
 * 27) *"A symbol of evil that would survive forever" is POV.
 * 28) *This (bottom of A Dark Religion) provides us with some info on the Glove post-Trioculus. Although never stated, it can be presumed that Fake Kadann got his hands on the glove, and brought it with him back to space station Scardia after escaping the Lost City of the Jedi, where Azrakel and Makati killed him (Who's Who: Imperial Grand Admirals). Evil Never Dies states that Azrakel was armed with "Darth Vader's prophesied gauntlet" when he murdered the real Kadann some time later. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 08:14, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) There should be a sources section also. --Eyrezer 21:46, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Kudos to Ataru, Gonk, 4dot, and a crumb to Culator. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  17:28, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * What did I do? -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:34, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * The Dark Side Sourcebook. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  23:42, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
 * An amazing article, but on a quick read I noticed you have Bol Chatak as male. She was a she, in fact. Harrar 11:25, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
 * Fixed. - Solus (Bird of Prey)  16:01, 29 December 2007 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominator.  Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 18:12, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 06:39, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Graestan ( Talk ) 04:58, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) The only real objection I can think of (having read the article prior to its FAN) is the last section of the Biography, "Returning to Taris". The prose is a bit on the ponderous side and there could be more subheadings added, (for instance, =|=Death=|=) for ease of reading. -- Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:21, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 02:13, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Not sure which rule it's according to, but can you make sure that all the reference tags are placed consistently i.e. after the punctuation, instead of immediately before? Makes it look more professional. Also, "Final encounter at the scene of the crime"&mdash;something more concise would read better. Those two are all at a cursory glance. Harrar 21:46, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Done. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 00:55, 8 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 6) * Intro could do to be shortened somewhat.
 * 7) **Chopped off a sentence and few words. Just say the word if more should be sliced. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 20:45, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "However, a passing Jedi on the planet discovered the young girl and suspected Raana of having of what seemed to be nightmares, to be actually experiencing Force Visions."&mdash;Break up or clarify with punctuation.
 * 9) **Broken up. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 20:45, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * If that's the word-for-word of the Prophesy, put it in quotes. Otherwise, convert it to the full past-tense observer.
 * 11) **Quotes placed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 20:45, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * If we capitalize "Knight," what about "knighting" or "knighthood?"
 * 13) **Done. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 20:45, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Quote in prose&mdash;bad. If you need it in there, use quotation marks and not a quote template.
 * 15) **Meh. Don't need the quote. Removed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 20:45, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Please either request that Culator use AWB or go over your linking.
 * 17) **I did that a while ago. Nothing is excessively linked. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:36, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * Oh, how I hate the word "endgame." Can you please rename that section?
 * 19) **Er. Done...-- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 03:54, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Rather play-by-play. Could you revisit most of your prose in the bio, see if it cannot be summarized more? Also, pay closer attention to pronouns and whom they might be referring to when read by an outsider.
 * 21) **Not sure if I trimmed it enough but done anyway. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * Expand the BtS; basic appearance information, similar to that in other comic book characters, is a good start.
 * 23) **Done. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 03:54, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:25, 9 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 26) *Not a big fan of the loose quotes in the intro.
 * 27) **Done. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *Something's off with this sentence: "What the Jedi suspected turned to be true, and Krynda took it upon herself to help the young Togruta and was in desperate need of help who was at risk of losing her life." Read it over and let me know what you think.
 * 29) **Fixed.
 * 30) *Again, I don't like the quote of the prophecy formatted like that.
 * 31) **Fixed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Remove this: "Only trouble was that these visions were not of anything pleasant." It doesn't read well and it sounds informal, not to mention POV.
 * 33) **Agreed. Dumb. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Raana Tey envisioned herself on Taris while Mandalorians and Sith invaded. Raana envisioned herself struck down from behind by an individual wielding a lightsaber" Repetition of opening three words needs varying.
 * 35) **Yuoch. Bad move, Red...-- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * In fact, the verb "envisioned" is the primary verb for three sentences in a row. Please change this.
 * 37) * "he group followed, though all they found were hordes of rakghouls and Gamorrean slavers. Q'Anilia rationalized that since the involvement of Marn Hierogryph, their senses had been clouded, and the accuracy of their visions regarding Zayne was becoming clouded." Please check this sentence also for ease of reading and understanding. Double use of "clouded" could be changed.
 * 38) **Fixed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) *I think certain contractions, such as "she'd" are overused and their use should be minimized.
 * 40) **Only used twice and they have since been removed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) *The same goes with using the same non-linking verb multiple times within the same paragraph. (Doesn't apply to am, is, was, etc., but "clouded" or "envisioned", for example). It's generally preferred to use a more varied diction if possible.
 * 42) **Can't identify any points when this happens. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) * "Raana's project involved using Lucien's father, the late Barrison Draay's company (the Draay Trust), to become involved in a consortium with other companies such as Czerka and Adascorp. " Unclear antecedents make it seem like the company is Lucien's father.
 * 44) **Fixed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) *"She became unable to sleep, and the wariness she once possessed". Sounds like this sentence is missing some words.
 * 46) **Bad referencing on my part. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) * Excessive linking, to Jarael, among others.
 * 48) **Checked the linking and only Jarael was linked twice unless I missed something. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * ", Gadon Thek of the Hidden Beks raised their weapons and ordered her to back off. " Incorrect pronouns here, and I'm not sure which is intended.
 * 1) **Reworded a bit. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *"Senator Goravvus emerged and asked Raana to stand down, believing it was the Beks and Zayne meant no harm." Check this over please, it doesn't read well.
 * 3) **Fixed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "Zayne was down and unable to defend himself, with glass shards jabbed deeply into her face from throwing Zayne into the ceiling, she informed him of how she learned of the one who would bring the Order and Republic collapse. As she was about to deal a killing blow with her and Zayne's saber, a blue lightsaber blade pierced through her back as did in her vision on the Rogue Moon. Only the user of the saber was Shel Jelavan." This is just . . . unacceptable. Read it out loud. The clause starting "with glass shards" doesn't fit in place as it should. The second sentence should say "hers and Zayne's sabers" and the third sentence is a fragment.
 * 5) **Rewritten. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *Read the P&T well. It's the best written part of the article. I can't vote for this until everything matches that level of writing.
 * 7) **And I thought that it'd be the worst part. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:05, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:00, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa says:
 * 10) *In the first two paragraphs, you use her full names in subsequent sentences. Unnecessary - use her full name in its initial mention, and then just shorten it to her last name for all following mentions
 * 11) **Fixed. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:05, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Same goes for the body of the article. Mention her full name initially, then only use her last name for all subsequent mentions. i.e., don't refer to her by her first name only as a matter of formality. It is okay, for example, to use her full name when starting off new subsections, but don't keep repeating it
 * 13) *Apply that same rule to everyone else mentioned. Don't refer to them simply by their first names
 * 14) *This sentence needs to be reworded: "What the Jedi suspected turned to be true, and Krynda took it upon herself to help the young Togruta and was in desperate need of help who was at risk of losing her life."
 * 15) *This line is missing something: "This vision was about The Prophecy of the Five where there would five individuals who would stand in the different alignments of the Force."
 * 16) *Minor article mixup: "Each other member envisioned similar events all committed by an being"
 * 17) *Rewrite: "Their students didn't refused to believe them,"
 * 18) *Rewrite the last portion of this sentence; seemingly too many "and's": "The chase then took to the sky as Tey, along with Lucien, Feln, and Xamar, chased Zayne and Hierogryph and through a nearby school."
 * 19) *Try to use a better description than "the place": "With Constable Sowrs and her forces in tow, the Covenant invaded the place known as Junk Junction."
 * 20) *You switch off between capitalizing "Rogue Moon" and not capitalizing it. Choose one (whatever the proper form is) for uniformity.
 * 21) *Dismiss the euphemistic language, just say "kill him": "Lucien retold the story of what had happened at the Knighting ceremony, and as he was about to end Zayne's life"
 * 22) *This last sentence is confusing and could be clarified: "Jarael and Zayne then escaped the tower and then Taris along with Camper and Gryph aboard the Last Resort, beginning a long chase around the galaxy to end the Sith threat."
 * 23) *Decap "Senator" in this instance: "Three weeks after the incident, riots began in the Lower City, and the Jedi could no longer preserve order with the constable's family taken captive and the Senator, Goravvus, missing."
 * 24) *Reword this: "Del and Dob Moomo, or simply the Moomo Brothers,"
 * 25) *Remove the italicized print: "The two returned to their ship and contacted Tey about their captive. Tey became infuriated with the two and ordered them to stay awake and not to do anything"
 * 26) *Decap "Senator": "The Chancellor requested that she be assigned to find Taris' missing Senator"
 * 27) *Reword this sentence: "She became unable to sleep, and the wariness she once possessed"
 * 28) *Rephrase this sentence, abandoned what? And remove italics: "While the young Togruta claimed that they had abandoned it, the dead Padawans claimed that they never left it."
 * 29) *This sentence is thoroughly confusing: "Zayne was among the Padawans, and reminded her of his vision—the one who confesses lives."
 * 30) *Decap "Senator": "Raana managed to locate the missing Senator"
 * 31) *Decap "Senator": "Marn Hierogryph, also employed to search for the Senator,"
 * 32) *"Shady" is kind of POVish: "Before Goravvus and Jervo could discuss the matters of the shady dealings they had in the past,"
 * 33) *The section "Mandalorians and Sith" gets really play-by-play-ish. Try and rewrite some of those paragraphs.
 * 34) *Remove the parentheses from this line. If it's important enough to put into the article, include it: "Raana was able to see far into the future, and though the details (like any Force Vision) were not completely clear, she was able to see her future death on Taris at the hands of a Sith Lord."
 * 35) *Rewrite, or at least correctly punctuate this sentence: "On the WatchCircle, she may have only been second in terms of combat to leader, Lucien Draay as he was able to best her and the other members during lightsaber training as Padawans on Coruscant"
 * 36) *You're more talented/knowledgeable about pictures than I, but just from what I've seen around, you might consider removing the text from her quote bubble in the infobox picture.Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:04, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) **Kept in for context...as well as being that the text expands outside the bubble lines so it would like sloppy if I tried to remove it. -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 17:22, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Fifteenth (overall) and last nomination in the "Famous women of Star Wars" series.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:45, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:49, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Janeway 20:48, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Now this is an awesome topic. Thefourdotelipsis 08:40, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Enochf 00:17, 22 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Intro could be a bit more detailed; in addition, the term "disgraced" when referring to Dif Scaur is somewhat inaccurate.
 * 3) **The intro is as long as it needs to be; "disgraced" is generally accurate- Scaur fell out of favor with Omas and his staff following the Alpha Red thing. . Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Last line of introduction, regarding her Force-sensitivity, reads like it was tacked on as an afterthought. But how about working it in somewhere else? Perhaps the body?
 * 5) **Removed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Double Kalendas in the first line of the Early Life section.
 * 7) **As one of them is referring to her brother, I don't really see the problem. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * The sentence "Kalenda decided to continue to a career in the military, having no particular allegiance to the Empire" seems a little fragmentary, as does the sentence immediately afterward. Suggest you merge and/or rewrite.
 * 9) **Altered. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Kalenda handily slew them" seems a bit weird (possibly POVish); please reword.
 * 11) **I'm afraid I might need a better explanation on that- I fail to see how it is POV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Kalenda was finally rewarded by the arrival of the Millennium Falcon" Rewarded for what? The Additionally, "she would be unable to..." should be corrected for tense.
 * 13) **Adjusted. And the tense is fine. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *** The rest of that sentence needs to be tweaked again. -- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:21, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:25, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "she found an occupied villa" -- should this be "unoccupied"? It's been a while since I read the Corellian Trilogy but I'm pretty sure her stakeout hooch was vacant.
 * 17) **You are correct. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * Q9-X2 was an astromech droid, not a protocol droid.
 * 19) **You are correct also. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Too many repetitions of her surname makes the article seem stilted and hackneyed. How about some alternate pronouns? -- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:21, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *TIMMMMBERRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 07:12, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) There are some things you can add.
 * 23) * As far as I know the mission in Remnant was also her idea. Please correct me if i'm wrong.
 * 24) **Remnant states that it was either Omas's or the Solos' idea; Kalenda was called in to coordinate. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * The Meeting with Niathal and Jacen Solo was in Exile, not in Fury. Look at page 248 of Exile and correct the ref.
 * 26) **Ah yes, thank you. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Also you could use Tsavong Lah's menace in chapter 11 of Star by Star in a minor sentence.
 * 28) **Added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * She told Talon and Showolter that she visited Tynna once. It's in chapter 16 of Jedi Eclipse.
 * 30) **That's true, but not necessarily germaine to the overall context of the character. Adding it in would create a lone fragmented sentence that would not flow with the rest of the article. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * According to Assault on Selonia(chapter 3) she was 25 years old in 18 ABY. 18ABY-25years=7BBY. Well, Cracken's Threat Dossier has got many erros, hasn't it? I think the novel is right, isn't it?
 * 32) **No, they're both consistent. I just can't count. Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * She joined NRI in 13 ABY, look at chapter 10 of Hero's Trial. Janeway 13:36, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) **Was in the intro, but added to main body. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * What about the redirect Kalenda? Shouldn't it be a disambiguation page? Janeway 16:52, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) **Yes, it should. Took care of it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:16, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * I've written the German One and it's not as good as your's. Janeway 13:36, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:35, 13 January 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Whoops. I nominated another character. Harrar 19:31, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:27, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 08:43, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * I hate to say it bud because I really like what you've done for it, but that intro should be tightened up a bit. Try removing some of the specifics and instead focusing on the broader picture of the character's life and dealings.
 * 3) **Yeah, I didn't think it would really work with a more important Yuuzhan Vong to be honest. It has been reshaped.
 * 4) * "as it was the famed warrior soon rose to the rank of commander" reads a little awkwardly. Perhaps break this clause off from the rest of the sentence and expand it a tad?
 * 5) **Addressed and rearranged.
 * 6) * The Consequences of love section could be broken up into at least two paragraphs for ease of reading.
 * 7) **Cut it up a good place. See what you think.
 * 8) * The first paragraph in the Return section could also be broken in half.
 * 9) **It is now broken.
 * 10) * "As the warriors at the base of the ramp closed in, Hul Rapuung called out to Solo, proclaiming that he would attain honor by killing the Jedi." -- Is that supposed to be Solo or Rapuung? It's been a long time since I read that book so your pardon if I'm wrong.
 * 11) **Re-read it&mdash;it's great! Hul does shout out to Anakin, telling him that it will be an honor to defeat the youngster in a duel. Vua is on the floor dying at this point, but he gets back up and defends Anakin.
 * 12) *TIMMMMBERRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:37, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for looking through another one Goodwood! Harrar 20:16, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***You're welcome, bud. Keep it up, you've got some talent there; experience will hone that talent.-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:26, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 16) * "On Yavin 4, where the headquarters of the New Jedi Order had been overrun by the Yuuzhan Vong in 26 ABY, Rapuung worked as a Shamed One, with Mezhan Kwaad, who he occasionally, rarely remembered with something less than hatred, only a short distance away in one of the damuteks planted on the world." Bit of a run-on here.
 * 17) **That was pretty unwieldy! I rearranged it.
 * 18) * A bit of context on Solo's broken lightsaber would be good. (How it was broken.)
 * 19) **In the Aiding Solo section (end of 1st paragraph) I included a little mdash bit which explains it.
 * 20) *Other than, this is another example of the good, well-planned, well-written noms we've come to expect and relish from you. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:10, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **Thanks! Sadly I'm gonna take a Wookieevacation&mdas;I'm addicted&mdash;until I've done my summer exams (long term revision etc), but after that I'll have five months of nothingness and can work my way through the NJO articles! Harrar 21:40, 20 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ***We'll miss seeing your noms, but good luck with your RL articles and hopefully we'll see you soon. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 08:43, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * The Kyle Katarn of the Yuuzhan Vong! His page was woefully inadequate when I arrived; I hope it isn't now too bloated&mdash;there's a lot to say though. Harrar 19:31, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * Btw, I know that the intro is massive; what I did though was write the article then condense its general content and "thesis" into the introduction; thus it's very much a mini, un-ornamented (?) version of the article. I can re-write it if people wish. Harrar 18:30, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * For the future, Harrar, avoid putting periods at the end of quote attribution lines. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:28, 21 January 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) I've always liked this ship. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:23, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:43, 15 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 01:54, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Well-written article and this article comes from the patchy EU background that most FAs seem to come out of these days. Good work. Regards, RelentlessRecusant (Talk) 02:03, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * Image:Bright hope takeoff hoth.jpg should be re-uploaded in a better resolution.
 * 3) **Will be difficult for me to do, as I have no image capabilities whatsoever. If you would, please look at the link in the sources list for the CCG card, which is where the image comes from. That image is what was up there, changed to the CUSWE image you see now by Culator last night. Are they both unacceptable?
 * 4) ***Done.
 * 5) * "Cost" in the infobox isn't something I'm crazy about&hellip;seems more like a class aspect, not an individual ship item.
 * 6) **Gone.
 * 7) * "Hacker droid" should be "slicer"&mdash;IU is predominantly slicer.
 * 8) **Duh.
 * 9) * Gallofree Yards, Inc. can be changed to Gallofree Yards as there is no mistaking it.
 * 10) **Done, though I've left it as is in the infobox.
 * 11) * Outline the fate of the crew in the intro.
 * 12) **Yeah.
 * 13) * "Clam-shelled" implies that it is actually in a clam's shell.
 * 14) **Changed to "clam shell-shaped"
 * 15) ***Change it to "clamshell-shaped."
 * 16) * Last sentence of second paragraph of "Description" is a run-on.
 * 17) **Yeck.
 * 18) * "The transport's interior was mostly hollow, consisting of at least three modular decks, interchangeable between containing passengers and cargo"&mdash;Reword. Also, this smacks of a class statement, as well.
 * 19) **Revised.
 * 20) * Battle of Yavin link should be changed to one of the evacuation battles of Yavin 4.
 * 21) **Done.
 * 22) * I intensely dislike the name of "Mistakes and inconsistencies." Please change it to something less negative.
 * 23) **Though I have no sympathy or tolerance for continuity errors, changed to simply "Inconsistencies" Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:51, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Sometime you should kick back and actually enjoy the Star Wars. :P
 * 25) * Graestan ( Talk ) 22:24, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) **All objections addressed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:43, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Trying to offset all the character FA's a lil' bit. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:23, 13 January 2008 (UTC)
 * You should probably mention in the intro that it was also known as "Transport C One Seven." Thefourdotelipsis 08:54, 14 January 2008 (UTC)
 * Done and done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:04, 14 January 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inq/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:08, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I like. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa says
 * 2) * I'm not sure "cash" is the best word to use here. Cash seems to imply the real-world equivalent of paper money, and I'm not sure this even exists IU: "8t88 charged huge fees, to be paid upfront in cash"
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * The second paragraph of "Double cross" is a wee bit play-by-play. Try and trim the fat a little.
 * 5) **See about it now.
 * 6) ***Veddy nice.
 * 7) * "Pitifully" is a bit POV. Try and use a better term: "pitifully plotting to reclaim his lost body"
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * It seems like you may need an article of sort in this phrase: "while he next resurfaced with ASP droid's head on Omze's Incredible Travelling Starport."
 * 10) **I don't understand what you're saying here.
 * 11) ***Articles, as in "a," "an," "the."
 * 12) * In this context, "amazing" seems a bit POV. It could be changed to state that it was amazing to certain individuals, for ex: "He did, however, have many Human-like emotions, and, amazingly, possessed"
 * 13) **Is "somehow" any better?
 * 14) ***Si, senor.
 * 15) * Is an IR sensor and IR vision not the same thing? "He was also equipped with an infrared sensor, a microscopic imager, a holographic projector/recorder, extremely perceptive audio sensors, a concealed beam transmitter, and a broadband communication antenna, as well as a comlink, heuristic processor, improved sensor package, infrared vision, and translator unit."
 * 16) **My mistake.
 * 17) *Kudos for properly punctuating your quotations! ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:38, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) **All thanks to you. ;) Thanks for the review, T&R. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:09, 17 January 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) ***Best line of that whole game..."He is Dark Jedi."..."Jedi?"..."Dark Jedi." Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, 17 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm back. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:08, 17 January 2008 (UTC)