Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Second Battle of Geonosis


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Second Battle of Geonosis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: FAN, TCW has returned. Thank you very much to for helping out with the initial stages of the article.

(5 Inqs/6 Users/11 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very good Commander Rex, you are apparently strong in the Force.--Sean Red 17:26, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Captain Rex  JangFett  (Talk) 21:55, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yes, thank you, Jang.  CC7567  (talk) 22:04, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Great job, CC7567! I have seen your article from start to finish and I must say: it looks fantastic. --Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 18:12, December 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Flamethrowers! Menkooroo 16:55, December 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Good job as always, CC.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:32, December 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  11:09, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Will Coric or the Battle Dorin appear here of at the GAN page soon ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:14, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Doubtful.  CC7567  (talk) 19:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) --Eyrezer 11:08, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) —Tommy  9281 23:34, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:31, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) Fine work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:34, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:30, May 8, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A quick glance:
 * 2) * Bts refers to Ki-Adi and Barriss as Expanded Universe characters --- they're actually both from the films.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Aftermath: It ends on a cliffhanger; the suspense is killing me! Maybe a sentence or two indicating that the dire fight for survival was won by the goodguys would give the article closure while avoiding veering into irrelevant territory.
 * 5) **I'm sorry, but I honestly don't feel it's entirely relevant, and there always ends up being more information than there should be. The article to the Skirmish is already linked if the reader finds it interesting.
 * 6) ***Well, as the brain worms came from the battle itself, I think it's relevant as a quick note in "aftermath" --- even just an additional half-sentence at the end saying "an attempt that ultimately failed" or something? If not, no worries, but I thought I'd try one more time. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****My view still stands on the matter.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Can't blame a guy for trying. :^P
 * 9) * Second paragraph of intro --- Ahsoka and Barris sneaked into the facility --- should it be snuck?
 * 10) **"Snuck" is less formal and mostly less used; "sneaked" is more appropriate in this case.
 * 11) *Will definitely give it a full review within the week! Menkooroo 08:47, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 18:28, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Full review!
 * 14) * Second paragraph of intro: "Tano and Offee" is used twice in close succession. Maybe change the second instance to something like "The pair" or "The two padawans"?
 * 15) **I feel that being more consistent is better in this case, and it also leaves no room for speculation that "the pair" could refer to their Masters instead.
 * 16) * Image caption punctuation: I'm not sure if it's an actual policy or not, but as far as I know, only complete sentences are to end in punctuation. For example, a descriptive caption like "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land" should not, while "The Republic gunships were ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land", recalling an actual event, should. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I apologize.
 * 17) **I'm not sure I understand your reasoning. Whether "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land." is "descriptive" or not, it's still a sentence as defined by the English language.
 * 18) ***Going by what I gathered from Havac's Darth Caedus article: A sentence describing what's happening in the picture, in present tense, shouldn't end with a sentence, whereas something in past tense should. I don't think too many Wookieepedians are clear on the matter, and there are a lot of FA's that don't follow it, so I'll strike the objection. I'm not sure if it's an actual policy, either, actually.
 * 19) * Penultimate paragraph of Rough Landing opens with "Having spent the time reallocated resources since Commander Jet's previous request," --- Is this supposed to be "reallocating"?
 * 20) **Yes, thank you for catching that. Fixed.
 * 21) * Final sentence of final paragraph of that section also runs on for a long time without any punctuation; some rewording might help make it read less awkwardly.
 * 22) **Adjusted.
 * 23) * Attack on the Main Foundry: "Skywalker and Unduli swung under the bridge and across its underbelly" --- context on what they used to swing?
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) * Also in that section: "grimly but alive"... should it be "grim but alive"?
 * 26) **Actually, it was supposed to be "grimy." Fixed.
 * 27) * The Geonosians' Threat: The Geonosians are referred to as "insects" at one point; Note the difference between insects and insectoids.
 * 28) **Fixed.
 * 29) * I'd like to see a quick note made on Queen Karina's prodigious size. Very nitpicky things that hardly detract from a fantastic article; great use of the episode guides as sources. A very good read. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thanks very much for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Fett takes a look (Yes, my head is still intact)
 * 32) * "also known simply as the Battle of Geonosis" I would remove this bit from the intro, CC. Seeing that another official source from SW.com corrected themselves by stating this was the Second Battle of Geonosis. The Battle of Geonosis was the beginning battle of the Clone Wars, which obviously wasn't this CW battle.
 * 33) **Removed.
 * 34) * Afterward, you say "early in the Clone Wars". Due to the unestablished CW timeline, I would replace it with "around 22 BBY," as always when it comes to TCW battle articles. I didn't wanted to replace it myself, because I wanted you to decide.
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * Do you have any source indicating that the Battle of Geonosis was "historic"? Kinda OR/ POV if not.
 * 37) **Removed.
 * 38) * "In the midst of the ongoing fight against the Geonosians, Captain Rex contacted Commander Cody to request reinforcements for Skywalker but found that Kenobi would be unable to give support, as Kenobi himself had been shot down" If you read the end of this sentence, it sounds like Kenobi was killed.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) *Other than that, great work CC. I made some minor edits too during my copyedit. Feel free to change them if you like. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 06:09, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thank you for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 08:04, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) Only one little thing: at the end of Weapons Factory, I think the exchange between Luminara and Anakin about accepting that their Padawans may have died and that Anakin was less willing to do so is worth a mention, otherwise they may not have rescued the Padawans. Nevertheless, a superb job as always CC.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:26, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *I have to disagree; Tano's own actions were what saved her and Offee, not their Masters' worrying over them. Regardless of how notable Skywalker's and Unduli's views were, they did not have a direct affect on the battle and belong in the character articles, not that of the battle. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:02, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) Xd
 * 45) * Do we really add a &dagger; after destroyed ships? Xd1358  Talk 20:53, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) **To my knowledge, yes.  CC7567  (talk) 02:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I should've checked if first, sorry.
 * 48) * One more: I think you should mention the year in the prelude to give the reader an idea when it was. Xd1358  Talk 05:43, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) **It's already linked in there for the reader's use, and I'm personally getting tired of the blatant "around 22 BBY" that is becoming trademark on all TCW articles. It doesn't have to be stated outright for the reader to pick it up.  CC7567  (talk) 06:44, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Fair enough. But you're right, the 22 BBY is getting a bit boring. Xd1358  Talk 13:19, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * This is just pettifogging, not really an objection: is Poggle called as Archduke in any of the episodes he appears during this battle? In Weapons Factory, he is called as a Warlord. Maybe this is not worth to even debate, but as the article Mission to Rugosa describes Ventress as a Supreme Leader (which she was called in the episode), thought all the other battles calls her just commander, should the title Archduke be changed as Warlord in this article? Kreivi Wolter 16:36, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Regardless of what the episodes call him, Poggle is an Archduke. It's his proper title.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:38, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yup. Btw, does the title of a character needs to be sourced in the articles like this? We all know of course that Poggle is an Archduke, but the title isn't mentioned in Landing at Point Rain, which currently sources Poggle in the infobox. Kreivi Wolter 16:46, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Changed to "Warlord" and sourced to Weapons Factory to avoid any confusion.  CC7567  (talk) 21:12, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Okay. Asking ends here. Kreivi Wolter 21:23, March 5, 2010 (UTC)