Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Lunker

Lunker

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:25, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Gungan....

Support

 * 1) -- 1358  (Talk) 18:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

From the Xd of Xd1358

 * Before I read through it thoroughly: You don't mention Cad Bane in the bio, still you mention a Duros. This is somewhat confusing. -- 1358  (Talk) 12:50, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Facepalm. Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Split up the first sentence of the intro.
 * Fixed.
 * Is Sidious worth a mention in the intro?
 * Context.
 * Then could you possibly merge the context sentence with the previous one? Something like "...from abduction by the Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane, who had been ordered to capture Force-sensitive children by the Sith Lord Darth Sidious." -- 1358  (Talk) 18:36, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Jep.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:39, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Typho reported to the Jedi that Page's family had been notified and introduced them to Lunker." So, did they introduce Page's family to Lunker?
 * Fixed.
 * "Lunker brought Tano to Jan-gwa city, where the two Jedi set a trap for Bane." Sounds like Lunker is one of the Jedi who organized the trap. Please reword.
 * Fixed.
 * "Skywalker and Tano were able to save Page from Bane's attempt to abduct her, capturing the bounty hunter." Right now it sounds like that Bane was captured because the Jedi managed to save the child, while it should clarify that he was captured with the trap.
 * Fixed.
 * -- 1358  (Talk) 18:08, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:17, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * One more thing before voting: Ordered is not the same thing as tasked. To task is to give someone a mission while ordering is something one can't decline. Please decide whether Sidious tasked (IMO) or ordered Bane. Otherwise, good read about a obscure Gungan. :P -- 1358  (Talk) 18:41, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Fixed and thanks.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:46, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Kreivi Wolter
Where's the quote? Kreivi Wolter 19:24, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Facepalm. Asked JMAS.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Lee, you should be able to add a quote in the article yourself.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:47, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:50, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

 * Please remember to properly format novel appearances/references: "Star Wars: The Clone Wars novelization," not "Star Wars: The Clone Wars (novel)." I've done this for you, but be sure to do it in the future. -- 1358  (Talk) 11:48, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, May 12, 2010 (UTC)