Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Falynn Sandskimmer


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(8 Inqs/4 Users/12 Total)
Support Oppose Comments
 * 1) More Wraiths.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:03, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:23, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash; Darthtyler http://images.wikia.com/swfanon/images/1/18/Scuba_Diver.gif Talk 01:25, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) What a butch... Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:31, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:50, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) More more more...Wraiths, that is ;)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:22, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Thought I did this already.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:34, 9 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:30, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:23, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 10)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 15:55, 19 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Imperialles 13:48, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 12)  Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 16:26, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Should probably have a mention of her death in the intro. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 19:21, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added, thanks for the catch. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:01, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Few minor things
 * 4) * Intro: "Already a BTL Y-wing starfighter ace but with a record marked by insubordination, she was among the first to join Wraith Squadron in 7 ABY and was selected for her ground vehicle proficiency and was also skilled in flying TIE fighters and X-wings." Those two ands don't work well.
 * 5) **Thought I got that earlier; My mistake. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * There's at least one or two occurrences of a missing comma in the article, i.e. "a modified CR90 corvette allied with Trigit and Warlord Zsinj, the Night Caller arrived to investigate..." There should be another comma after Night Caller (I've checked with Gonk to make sure I'm correct).
 * 7) **I'm not sure if this was taken care of by someone else, but there is a comma there. Are there any other points needing commas? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Looks fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:23, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Falynn one of those involved in covering up Donos's breakdown after Shiner's death? My memory's a little fuzzy on it, but if she was, it could do with a mention.
 * 10) **Falynn is not explicitly mentioned. Only Phanan, Tainer, and Sarkin are directly implicated, but I could add a brief nod. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***No need if she's not mentioned. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:23, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Not an objection, but any chance of those redlinks becoming blue?
 * 13) **There is indeed a good chance of that. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Again, not an objection, but at least one supporting picture wouldn't go amiss in the article, particularly one of Donos.
 * 15) **Picture of squadron crest added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *That's all. Nice article and an interesting choice. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:40, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Toprawa says:
 * 18) * I may be mistaken about this, but if memory serves, the Pig Trough was likened to the Death Star trench run. I seem to remember Sandskimmer feeling she could beat Antilles in their run because of her experiences flying through Tatooine's canyons...on second thought, I may just be making this up...
 * 19) **A quick search of the book reveals that this passage does not exist. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Rephrase this dead construction: "That was what the mission plan stored in Night Caller..."
 * 21) **Good point. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * Go through and reword some of the sentences that begin with "As such." You've got 4 in total, and it grows increasingly repetitive with each. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:40, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Reworded two of them. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) Minor wording problems:
 * 25) * "She was wont to disrespect authority figures for whom she did not respect..." Really?
 * 26) **How very silly of me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:31, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * "often feeling overshadowed by the legacy of Tatooine native Luke Skywalker, often sought..." Repetition.
 * 28) **See above. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:31, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Antilles later showed her up" feels a bit like slang to me. Is there a better way to word it?
 * 30) **Changed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:31, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * Random aside: Wraith Three could use an article, or at the very least, a disambiguation between it's "users." —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:24, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **Page created. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:31, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) ***You're speedy fixes are much appreciated. —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:50, 3 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 35) * "Sandskimmer was selected for her ground vehicle proficiency and was also skilled in flying TIE fighters and X-wings." Please rephrase.
 * 36) * "In this engagement, Sandskimmer flew into the Star Destroyer's hull to attack it from within, but perished when she became entrapped inside, and the ship crashed into a moon." What hit the moon? Her ship, or the Destroyer?
 * 37) * The first paragraph in Bio reads awkwardly.
 * 38) * In Night Caller charade: "relieving Sandskimmer, who had not wanted to destroy the obviously amateur, green pilots." Repetitive.
 * 39) *Will finish reading it later.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:33, 5 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) **So far, all addressed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:57, 6 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Wraith Squadron4.jpg is very low quality. I highly doubt this image has appeared in any official source. --Imperialles 22:06, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *The mutilated scan from The Official Star Wars Fact File 2 has been replaced by a lovely and very accurate SVG of the version from Star Wars Gamer 9 courtesy of Trip. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:32, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the lair of Hobbes15
 * 3) * An explanation of what an empion mine is might be nice for casual readers.
 * 4) * It would be nice to see at least one of the three redlinks go.
 * 5) **The creation of wedding marker doesn't seem like it could take that much effort, but if you insist. Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 16:26, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *Nothing else there to complain about, really. Nice work. Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 03:59, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I elaborated on the empion mine, and the redlinks are under the limit. Let's keep the FA machine moving, hmm? -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:47, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Apologies. At the same time, I made the objection only a day ago. Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 16:26, 23 February 2008 (UTC)

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 18:15, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Ataru, make sure you always add "the" before the name of a ship. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:06, 2 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Cleaned up three. Thanks. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:13, 3 February 2008 (UTC)