Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified Sullustan Jedi (battle droids)

Unidentified Sullustan Jedi (battle droids)

 * Nominated by: &mdash; 20:13, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The rampage continues&hellip;

(5 ECs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Commander Code-8  G'day, mate 01:28, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) So many GCW Jedi and battle droids. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 02:28, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3)  Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg  (Greetings)  03:17, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 4)  501st  dogma ( talk ) 16:02, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 5) ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 13:33, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Alphabetize categories.  501st  dogma ( talk ) 11:28, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done.&mdash; 15:21, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) Bob
 * 4) * Again, I think you need separate sentences on his clothing and his physical appearance; the former presumably changed, but the latter not so much. You should also indicate that "At the time of the battle..." for his clothing, so as not to imply that he never changed clothes.
 * 5) * Seems that he's getting a second wind in this image. Mention that? ~ Savage BOB sig.png 11:37, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 6) **Both done.&mdash; 15:21, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * 7) *** "Gaining a second wind" is an idiomatic expression and shouldn't be interpreted literally. Can you reword? ~ Savage BOB sig.png 11:17, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Done.&mdash; 15:59, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
 * 9) * Bit more! The opening sentence is redundant; we essentially hear that "A Jedi ... trained as a Jedi." Can you reword? ~ Savage BOB sig.png 11:15, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
 * 10) **Fixed.&mdash; 17:34, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
 * 11) Emperor
 * Can you reword the first line a bit? Currently, it sounds like it refers to all Sullustans. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:19, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
 * Would "Sullustan individual" work?&mdash; 01:26, April 4, 2013 (UTC)
 * That would work. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:52, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
 * Reworked.&mdash; 09:50, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Comments