Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Uthar Wynn


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Uthar Wynn

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:49, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part 6 of "Project: Bad Guys of KotOR".

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:55, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:06, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:07, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) You've done a nice job, Kasra, and I'm happy to support this article. However, it's no secret that KOTOR articles like this one are severe crap magnets for noobs, and it's alarming how many former KOTOR articles were once FAs and were stripped of their status because they fell below standards. I would like to stress upon you the need to monitor this article regularly to ensure it maintains its present quality. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:11, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) -- 1358  (Talk) 07:38, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  CC7567  (talk) 01:22, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy has something to say here, too
 * 2) * Footnote 6 (first of BtS) gives some strange error.
 * 3) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * a "full" Sith. "Inverted commas" are not liked in FA's; could you replace them? If it's a direct quotation, you could say "becoming what Wynn called a full Sith"; otherwise, they must be removed altogether.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * to kill Selene, the woman that accompanied Dustil at the Academy. Selene has been given context before; you can remove the last part.
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Unfortunately for Wynn, Revan sided with Ban, having befriended her. Enraged, Wynn went on the attack Again: You've just said that they were friends. Besides: "the" attack? What attack? "Sided with Ban" can easily be understood as merely not attacking her and walking to her side; you should specify whether Revan and/or Ban initiated an attack against Wynn.
 * 9) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * P&T: I guess we do not know when did Wynn tattoo himself: Before becoming headmaster, as a consequence of it...
 * 11) **No, nothing is known about this&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * P&T: First mention to Thalia May and the renegade students. Shouldn't they be mentioned in the Bio? Same for the rogue assassin droid.
 * 13) **I don't know. If I add these instances, I have to add every quest that Revan undertook on Korriban, for 100% game completion. These are relevant in the P&T section, since it explains how Wynn is gullible. Please advise.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:53, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Please take a look at it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:51, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *No more to come. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:11, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Cylka's first look:
 * 17) * In the Jedi Civil War's final year, the Jedi Padawan traveled to Korriban - You need to state who this Jedi Padawan is in the intro. It seems to me that you are missing a sentence or two here.
 * 18) **Please try it. Can't believe this escaped my notice for so long.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * I believe that you should add in the GameLSmechanics template since a player does not need to complete either the Thalia May or droid quest to gain enough prestige. This may mean that you will need to rework the section involving the tasks Revan needed to complete in order to gain prestige. There were quite a few of them. Also the template is needed for Ban's return to the Jedi Order.
 * 20) **True. Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * I think that it would be a good idea to somehow incorporate what Wynn said to each of the hopefuls at the very beginning, when he met them. It would give more depth to his character.
 * 22) **Added a little to the JCW section and more to the P&T.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * I also think that you need to add information from the Double-cross and Double-double-cross quests. This is importsnt in order to show how Wynn planned on disposing of Ban and also why he was weakened during the fight with Ban and Revan.
 * 24) **Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * It would be a good idea to add in that Revan's tasks in Sadow's tomb were to be his "final exam." Also, if I remember correctly, Wynn talks a bit at that time and that may be something else that would give a bit more depth to his character.
 * 26) **Got the final exam, will re-read the dialogue files and add as needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***I think it's good, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * Please take care of these objections and I'll take another look at the article. So far, so good. I just think it needs to have a bit more information added. Cylka  -talk- 13:11, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **I'll scrounge around for more info in the files, please advise if anything else is needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) Cylka's second look:
 * 31) * In the infobox, were the Sith hopefuls actually considered apprentices? As far as I know, Yuthura Ban was the only real apprentice.
 * 32) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * Because of his disdain for his father, Onasi became a promising student. - Is this right? Dustil didn't like his father, but was that what drove him to be a promising student?
 * 34) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * In the Jedi Civil War section I think that you should use Dustil's and Carth's first names since you mention two Onasi men. Just for clarification.
 * 36) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * This distressed Wynn, who felt that such an emotional entanglement would hinder Onasi's progress. - I don't think it was as much the actual emotional entanglement, as much as that she simply wasn't powerful enough. Please clarify that a little more.
 * 38) **Wynn's datapad actually says that it was Dustil's degree of affection for Selene that was slowing down his training.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * When Wynn welcomed the hopefuls he spoke a little about the dark side he saw in each of them. Maybe you could expand this a little.
 * 40) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * I think that you need to add in that Revan could only access the Star Map if he was accepted for academy training - in order to give a little more context on why Revan needed to enter the academy in the first place.
 * 42) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * You need to expand the double-cross section a little bit more - specifically, what was the importance i.e. Revan betrayed Ban to gain a bit more prestige, and then conspired with Ban to weaken Wynn at the final exam. As it stands, the section doesn't explain much. Basically, you want to give context to the section quote.
 * 44) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * You need to explain specifically why Wynn gave Revan the tasks to accomplish. And did he give them to Revan only, or all of the hopefuls?
 * 46) **He gave them all these tasks, and he only did it to gain more prestige.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * I would add in a little more about the other tasks that would earn prestige with Wynn - such as the holocron quest with Lashowe. You don't need to detail the quests, just simply their outcome. They are all part of revan's interactions with Wynn.
 * 48) **Added a couple more quests, and Wynn's reactions.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * You should add in a bit more about Wynn's death. He some more dialog during that scene and it would give his character a bit more depth.
 * 50) **Added a little more on his death.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * The sub-section name "Endgame" sounds a bit too much like game-mechanics. Maybe you could change it to something like "Defeat" or "Death" or something along those lines.
 * 52) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * I would remove the info about the Ebon Hawk since it is not needed. Simply talk about the Exile exploring the Valley of the Dark Lords.
 * 54) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * I would also suggest that you remove mention of Kreia being Darth Traya. Again, it adds unnecessary information and you would need more context for it. Simply refer to her as Kreia.
 * 56) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * He was not opposed to slavery; when Revan asked the Sith Master about his companions, Wynn said that Revan's "slaves" were irrelevant - This needs a little bit more context. Maybe add the context in the Bio.
 * 58) **Done, I think.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * Wynn was reluctant to talk about his past - If I recall, he mentioned something as to why his past was unimportant.
 * 60) **No, he only said that Revan did not need to know any other info.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * He believed that Naga Sadow was the greatest of Korriban's deceased Dark Lords. - This sentence is sort of tacked onto the end of the paragraph and doesn't really fit well there. Try to place it somewhere else.
 * 62) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * The syntax in the Bts doesn't match up. Please look it over.
 * 64) **Still working on this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ***OK, I believe this is good, please see how it is.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *Take care of these objections and I'll have another look. Cylka  -talk- 15:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) Pasta-by:
 * 68) * Error in the references.
 * 69) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * The succession box is not complete and needs to be cited to sources that provide dates along with those that provide the fact that the position was held.
 * 71) **The only problem is that there are no specific dates. All we know is that Uln was in charge of the Academy when Revan and Malak recaptured Korriban, and that as tome point during the war, Wynn took it from him, and this could have happened at any point.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***Fair enough, but with only one other individual and no unique information regarding time, it is completely irrelevant. I've removed it from both articles. If an Inq disagrees, I will speak with them, but I am saying it is irrelevant and unnecessary as it pushes the line of proper succ-box usage. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:41, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) Third time's the charm:
 * 75) * You need to add in something about Revan's companions the first time that Revan talks to Wynn. Otherwise, wynn talking about Revan's allies in the next paragraph doesn't make much sense. Also, make sure to mention that Wynn believed that they were his slaves.
 * 76) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * When Wynn welcomes the students, please add in that the first of them that gains enough prestige will be worthy of becoming a Sith. That will make things clearer later. I also removed Kel Algwinn as a student since he was already a student at the academy.
 * 78) **Please try it, and yeah, I completely forgot that Algwinn was already there. Thanks---Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) * After learning the Sith Code from Ban, Revan went to Wynn and finished the code as he spoke it. - Please clarify this sentence. I know what it means only because I have played the game.
 * 80) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * After some thought, I believe that the part about Revan and Carth convining Dustil to turn away from the Sith and leave the academy needs to fall under the section. I can't find any confirmation that this is canon, or that Carth was one of the companions on Korriban. The cut content from TSL won't count as confirmation.
 * 82) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) * After Malak's death at Revan's hands, the remaining Sith on Korriban fought over the right to rule the Sith. The Sith then turned on one another. - Please rewrite this a bit since the second sentence pretty much sounds the same as the first.
 * 84) **After re-reading it, I feel there's no need for the second sentence, so I removed it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * Please rewrite the intro a bit. The second paragraph seems to be focused too much on Revan.
 * 86) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) *Much better, Kasra! You're almost there. Cylka  -talk- 18:23, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) **Thanks, Cylka!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89)  Final details - Please rewrite the second paragraph of the intro a little bit to reflect the changes in the article. Specifically, it needs to be explained what exactly the prestige is all about and that Wynn taking Revan to the tomb was part of his final test. This paragraph is a bit choppy and needs to be smoothed out. Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 17:45, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 90) *Think I got it, please let me know if anything else is needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:56, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) Stuff:
 * 92) * Kun did not form the Brotherhood; your pipelink in the body needs to be fixed. All I have.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:36, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **Done. Thanks for you review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:38, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) Cav:
 * 95) * Intro: Revan gained the approval for entrance into the Academy from Uln's apprentice Ban, and the Headmaster assigned Ban as Revan's teacher. I thought Ban was Wynn's apprentice at the time, not Uln's, as previously stated?
 * 96) **[smacks head] Darn, I don't know how I missed that one for so long. Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) * Intro: You mention that Revan avoided the corruption of the Dark Side, then state that he planned to murder Wynn with Ban. Is this not corruption? Or should the actual events surrounding the double-triple-quadruple cross be expanded on a little?
 * 98) **Decided to remove this, not necessarily essential to the intro.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * After Revan helped May and the renegades escape Korriban, he lied to Wynn about their fate, impressing Wynn. Why was Wynn impressed? Because of the lie that Revan told him, or because Revan had lied to him? A little more clarity would be appreciated. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:44, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 100) **Removed the "impressed" part altogether and reworded. Thank you for your review, Cav.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) The second half of the "Jedi Civil War" section isn't sounding entirely directly relevant to Wynn. I understand that context is necessary to understand the storyline, but this should not be to the point that this part of the article sounds like it was copied straight from Revan's bio. The context doesn't even have to be presented chronologically, only where it is necessary to understand the rest of the elements of Wynn's biography. Please try to shorten the unnecessary details if possible to stay more focused on Wynn.  CC7567  (talk) 06:28, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 102) *It's not that I'm ignoring your objection, CC. It's that I'm trying to figure out how to best take care of your objection without removing anything, to ensure the validity of the 100% game completion tag.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:00, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) **Thanks for your help, CC.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:33, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 104) Eyrezer:  why is there only one image of Wynn in the article? They looks to be two others already on the Wook of him. --Eyrezer 02:01, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) *I don't really want to use thos other two images of him, If I could take an image from the game and upload it I'd upload an image of Ban and Wynn dueling. But I can't, so.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:00, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 106) **Bah, you should at least use the one CSWE swiped. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:16, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) ***Added image, still would like an image of Wynn with lightsaber, though&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:27, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) ****Can you ask someone for an action shot of him? --Eyrezer 00:05, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) *****I asked for one, we'll see if he can get one.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:45, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) ******Great. I look forward to a suitable image being added as soon as it becomes available. --Eyrezer 06:15, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) ******Great. I look forward to a suitable image being added as soon as it becomes available. --Eyrezer 06:15, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Credit goes to Xicer9 for uploading the audio files in the article. Thanks, man.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, December 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * I would like to ask why the references to the CSWE keep changing. I think it's essential to list the fact that there is an entry on a character, such as Wynn, in the references, rather than just sourcing it to the CSWE itself. Is it really a big deal to have the reference say ?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Also, sometimes the entry's name differs from the subject. For example, HK-47's entry it listed as "HK-47 droid, Traavis is listed as "Traavis, General", Karath is listed as "Karath, Admiral Saul", etc.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to strike objection by Cylka (Inq only)
 * 1) Starting this vote to Inq-strike Cylka's final remaining objection from April 18. She's on something of a personal leave from the site and hasn't edited the wiki in nearly three weeks. I left a talk page message yesterday asking her to tend to the objection, but I don't really expect her to return by the time this nomination is ready to be archived. Objection appears to have been addressed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:35, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 17:36, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) —Tommy  9281 18:39, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:45, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:06, May 11, 2010 (UTC)