Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Srrors'tok


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Srrors'tok

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:05, March 11, 2010 (UTC) -
 * Nomination comments: Predatorial, growling furries with life-debts. Meet the poor sentient's Wookiees. From WEG, offered to you by WP:AS

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:21, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 00:54, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:56, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Fixed a couple typos. Though, if the fixing of "honor" and "savior" were in error, go ahead and change those back.  Otherwise, looks solid to me, nothing really stood out aside from a couple typos.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 06:07, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Grunny  ( talk ) 07:15, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * This problem, and the next, have both occurred in a number of your noms. Please try to check these before nominating in future. Quotes and image descriptions do not require a period unless they are complete sentences.
 * 3) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Please check again. Notice I said quotes and images. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Oops. Changed now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *** Question. Is that intro quote actually spoken by Rahmma? It sounds more like something Tremayne would say. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Double-checked: p24, Often, a slow growl with a mumbled, "Kneel ... now," and a flexing of his taut muscles is more than enough to bring a potential combatant to his knees. Refers to Rahmma intimidating a third party, not to Tremayne humiliating Rahmma. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Referencing always occurs after punctuation.
 * 9) **Took care of the only one I saw. -- Xd 13:57, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * neither could abandon them to their fate. Missing some words.
 * 11) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Srrors'toks were susceptible to low temperatures, being uncomfortable when naked in cold climates. The first half is a little redundant, and the second could then be integrated into the next sentence.
 * 13) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * combined in an intricate and elaborate way growls, grunts and clicks,[1][3] the natural sounds that they could produce easily. Reword.
 * 15) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Should a person save the life of a Srrors'tok, then the Srrors'tok was supposed to be indebted to the saviour. Reword.
 * 17) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * this case was nonetheless commonly of the disliking of that Srrors'toks. Doesn't make sense to me. Reword.
 * 19) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Make sure everything is in past tense.
 * 21) **Double-checked. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Srrors'toks consider greatly disgraceful to contract Reword. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:35, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) Eyrezer:
 * 25) * Ahnjai appears to have a mane around his throat that is both longer and a difference color. Can you add something about this?
 * 26) * Tyionsis was native to Sellasas. Can you add something about this? It also mentions in his article that he joined because the Alliance wiped out his village. Can you add something about this too?
 * 27) * Did you have someone check the CSWE for mentions? --Eyrezer 01:30, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **IT does have an entry: "Srrors'tok - The feline species of Ahnjai Rahmma, bodyguard to High Inquisitor Tremayne." Vol. III, 185. --Eyrezer 03:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **All shoulkd be done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) The Grand Master
 * 31) * Seeing some underlinking. This is a very consistent problem with your noms. I urge you to please watch out for this in the future.
 * 32) **Better?
 * 33) * "native to the primitive planet Jankok." Was it the planet itself that was primitive, or its inhabitants?
 * 34) **OS says the planet is; nonetheless, ambiguous word removed.
 * 35) * "The Srrors'tok tail was a noticeable difference between the two species." I find this to be rather obvious, as we all obviously know that Humans are tailless. Perhaps it would be better to simply make note of the fact that they had tails, rather than comparing them to Humans in this case.
 * 36) **Better?
 * 37) * "Brownish-gray" and "gray with shades of brown" don't necessarily indicate the same coloring. Please specify which is correct.
 * 38) **Changed.
 * 39) * In the Society/Culture section you say they use blasters, but in the intro you say they were non-technological.
 * 40) **Changed. Use of blasters is an exception.
 * 41) * "although individuals could still use blasters without the disadvantages of other primitive cultures." What disadvantages of what other primitive cultures?
 * 42) **Changed.
 * 43) * "A Srrors'tok could never betray another member of the species, a friend or a collective of any of those." This makes it sound as if it was literally physically impossible for them to do so. Are you sure you mean "could not" and not simply "would not" or "almost never?"
 * 44) **Not changed: 3 OS's are adamant about that: Could not.
 * 45) * What kind of scouts visited Jankok? Military scouts? Business scouts? Explorers?
 * 46) **Not changed: OS doesn't specifiy.
 * 47) * "A Srrors'tok could also move because of a life-debt, but not in the company of his saviour." This statement is confusing and rather contradictory. If they were moving (I assume you mean moving off-planet) because of a life-debt, how could it not be in the company of the being they had saved? Besides, wasn't that the whole point of their life-debt&mdash;to safeguard that being? Also, this statement grammatically says that they could not leave the planet in the company of their savior, as in they weren't allowed to do so. Is this true?
 * 48) **Better?
 * 49) ***Better, but it still grammatically says that they could not travel with their savior. I'm assuming that they could, but some chose not to do so. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:35, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****Try now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:20, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * Please remove the first set of parentheses in the BTS prose. Dashes, or simply full wording with commas would be more correct here.
 * 52) **Better?
 * 53) * Context for Alien Encounters? (i.e. was it a novel, comic, sourcebook etc.)
 * 54) **Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:04, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 04:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **I'll give it another look soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:57, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) A couple more
 * 58) * "Those collectives were more bonded by sharing some cultural features and by hunting together." This is confusing; please reword.
 * 59) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:06, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * "A Srrors'tok could never betray another member of the species, a friend or a collective of any of those." What do you mean "a collective of any of those"? I don't think "collective" really works in this or the sentence in the above objection.
 * 61) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:06, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ***"A member of this species could never betray either any other Srrors'tok or any of his or her friends" Do you mean the first Srrors'tok's friends (i.e. a member of this species couldn't betray any of their friends or any other Srrors'tok), or do you mean any friend of any other Srrors'tok (i.e. a member of this species couldn't betray any other Srrors'tok or any of that Srrors'tok's friends)? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:54, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Option 1. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:04, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *That's all. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:47, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) **Thanks for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:06, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

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