Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Trunsk


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Trunsk

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 15:19, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Using one of my all-time favorite WEG aliens to kick off a little WP:A side project on the species of the Colonies. ~ SavageBob 15:19, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Imperialles 16:47, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:39, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 10:07, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Beautiful. Graestan ( Talk ) 18:00, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 02:15, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) O tempora. Mad Vornsk for my Spanish webpage, the KSC... --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:01, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Prittay, prittay good. - Lord Hydronium 01:32, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * Intro: "The Trunsks were a species of sentient mammals natives of the planet Trunska." Is there supposed to be a comma in there? Reads a little awkwardly to me at present.
 * 3) *Society and culture: "At its most extreme level, the Trunsk temper manifest in outbursts of violence." Did you mean to write manifested?
 * 4) *Society and culture: Three instances of the word "Nevertheless" in close succession. Any way to reword some of the instances?
 * 5) *Society and culture: "For much of the history, the Trunsks were ruled by competing empires." Did you mean to write "their history"?
 * 6) *Society and culture: Emperor is usually capitalized.
 * 7) *History: "They evolved from carnivorous, quardapedal forebears" A couple of typos here, unless they actually evolved from bears. :P
 * 8) *History: "More than a century later, in 127 ABY, Trunska fell within the territory controlled by Darth Krayt as part of his Sith Empire." I believe that's supposed to be 137 ABY.
 * 9) *Trunsks in the galaxy: I think the prose would flow slightly better if you moved "One Trunsk visited the world of Port Haven, where he came under fire from an Imperial probe droid." to be after "Others joined the Alliance to Restore the Republic to fight the Empire and their people's subjugation." instead of the other way around.
 * 10) *There's a couple of instances of overlinking in the article, but nothing major.
 * 11) *Apart from that, great as always. --Imperialles 00:44, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **OK, these should all be addressed except for the emperor thing (I capitalize it when it's being used as a title, but not when it's being used as a regular noun, per most style guides), the forebear thing (as far as I can tell, that's the correct spelling); and the Port Haven thing (simply because I think that moving to after the Rebel Alliance part would imply that this guy was a Rebel, when we can't claim that from the picture alone). Thanks for the review, and feel free to disagree with any of this! :) ~ SavageBob 16:42, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***I don't disagree at all. I was completely unaware of the word forebear, to be quite honest! --Imperialles 16:47, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) "At some point before the fall of the Galactic Empire" Should this be Galactic Republic, as you seem to have already established that Tyl unified them during the reign of the Republic?  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:17, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *D'oh! You're right. Thanks for the copy edit, and thanks for catching that. ~ SavageBob 22:13, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Farlstendoiro thought these guys would have trunks (But I've been familiar with them for a long time now).
 * 17) * Typo in intro quote? Sic?
 * 18) * Intro quote should specify that Sully is a Trunsk, for those who aren't familiar with him/the species.
 * 19) * Bio: You mention that the lips can kiss a lady's hand, but hand-kissing can also be achieved without a real contact between the mouth and the hand. Are you sure the OS doesn't mean this kind of hand-kissing?
 * 20) **I checked the source: It specifically says Sully kissed the hand, not that he performed a hand-kissing ritual.
 * 21) * In Blaze of Glory, Sully pretends to be a slave to trick the guards of the Karazak SG. The slavers accept the possibility of a Trunsk being a slave at that point (9-10 ABY). So, even in the New Republic era, a Trunsk slave was not unheard of. Too far-fetched to mention?
 * 22) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:31, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Typo fixed, intro quote identified. Good call on the slavery thing; fixed. As for the hand kiss thing, we don't really do that in the States these days. Can you elaborate on how it can be done without lips? ~ SavageBob 02:35, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) **Ambiguous hand kiss fixed too. ~ SavageBob 01:07, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) Things:
 * 26) * Does the source call the Pentastar Alignment part of the Imperial Remnant? Because the PA is independent until its rump state gets absorbed into Pellaeon's IR, and this only after Darksaber; so unless the canon says so, I wouldn't say it's IR.
 * 27) * "either by their own innovation or from other sources" - is that from the text? It's a bit of an empty tautology. - Lord Hydronium 05:43, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **I was under the mistaken impression that the Imperial Remnant was a blanket term for all the factions, so thanks for catching that. As for the hyperdrive technology thing, yeah, the OS says, "Eventually the Trunsks discovered hyperspace technology (whether by themselves or from an outside source is unknown) . . . ." so the empty tautology is there. Thanks for the review! ~ SavageBob 01:07, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * I actually think the pic you have in the Bio section would make a better infobox pic, even if he is facing the other way. --Eyrezer 09:31, May 18, 2010 (UTC)