Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Jedi (Endar Spire)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Jedi (Endar Spire)

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 13:25, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 331 words.

(3 ACs/6 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) Identified vote (Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:59, April 21, 2010 (UTC))
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:47, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:33, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) As if this needed another normal user vote.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:18, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Ruthless Xero 05:12, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:02, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 01:23, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Eh, I'll show my support even as a normal user. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 18:37, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:38, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Unidentified Farlstendoiro (GAN page)
 * 2) * You can mention what caused the explosion of the wall - even if it is simply "the battle" or "a blast from an enemy ship" or anything.
 * 3) **Added.
 * 4) *GANom tag added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:37, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thank you. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 13:56, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Lee attacks
 * 7) * You give context on Revan and Ulgo twice. Remove one of it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:51, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) **Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Soresu remembers creating this article last year
 * 10) * Do we actually know that the duel was short? IIRC, they are already fighting by the time you open that door.
 * 11) **Crap, I thought I got that. Removed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:07, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ***During the battle, she engaged a Sith aboard the vessel. She killed him during a lightsaber duel that followed though the wall section behind her exploded moments later, killing her. Chronologically, by the time you start that second sentence, the duel has already begun; there is no need for during a lightsaber duel that followed. The fact that it involved lightsabers could be moved into the previous sentence.
 * 13) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Though she was victorious, eliminating the Sith, she was killed before Trask Ulgo and Revan, two crewmembers who had just entered the hallway, could speak with her. Moments after killing the Sith, the Spire took damage from the ongoing battle and the the wall she stood beside exploded. As Lee caught, Trask and Ulgo already have context. Also, you state the events of her death twice for some reason. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:01, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **I got rid of the first context, it doesn't really have to do with her. As for the latter part, I did that because the sentence would run-on otherwise. The first sentence says she died, the second says how. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:07, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) ***This stands, again due to chronology. If you're going to state her death and the reason for it, please do it in one sentence. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 04:33, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Alright. Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *****Now the sentence is too long. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:42, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ******How about now? If it's still too long, the Revan/Ulgo mention doesn't neccisarily /have/ to be there. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:37, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *******I tried my best to make it work. It isn't perfect, but I couldn't think of a better way to put it for some reason. Of course, you can edit it to fit your personal style. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:47, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Just one issue, which caused me to strike my support of the article. The fact that Bandon was Malak's Shadow Hand should be sourced to the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:32, May 1, 2010 (UTC}
 * 22) *Good catch, Kasra. Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 16:33, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Very good work.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:03, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) The Grand Master
 * 25) * The article's sectioning does not currently follow the LG.
 * 26) **How so? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:41, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Because of the "History" instead of "Biography," I'd say.  CC7567  (talk) 06:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:02, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Thanks Chack. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:30, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * The bio is barely any longer than the intro. Please cut down the intro some.
 * 31) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:03, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Please check your grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:37, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Chack got it, but please be careful of this when making corrections in the future. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 01:23, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****He edit conflicted me (And so did you ;P) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:30, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * "In that year, as a Jedi" Is the "as a Jedi" really necessary? You just said that she became a Jedi Master. I find it pretty obvious, in that case, that she's a Jedi.
 * 36) **Removed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:41, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * "Trask Ulgo and Revan, two crew members" Crew members of which ship?
 * 38) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:41, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * From what did the wall behind her sustain heavy damage? The opposing ship's lasers?
 * 40) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:41, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * Major tense-shifting issues in the BTS.
 * 42) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:41, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) Toprawa:
 * 45) * This doesn't necessarily imply this at all. This could just as easily mean one of your own fellow Jedi Masters of your Jedi Order. This "implication" is little more than your own speculation as far as I can see, and therefore should be removed. Keeping the bit prior to the "implying" clause may stay: "The sentence in the guide acknowledging the duelists mentioned that she was one of "your own Jedi masters," from Revan's perspective, implying that she may have instructed the amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith at some point." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:12, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) **Noted and fixed, though you could certainly find a less confrontational way to object to it. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 19:51, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I find nothing confrontational in the wording of my objection. Perhaps you need to not be so sensitive about people objecting to your work. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:38, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * 1) I'm not absolutely certain about this, but I vaguely remember that this Jedi's appearance can change to another player portrait if you pick the original portrait for your player character. Could you check on that? JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:50, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *You're right. Added to the article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:20, May 4, 2010 (UTC)