Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Czulkang Lah


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Czulkang Lah

 * Nominated by: Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(6 Inqs/0 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Enemy Lines is the best of the NJO books.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:41, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:35, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:58, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:15, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Yes. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:27, 5 July 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * I'm pretty sure Czulkang Lah was never stated to be in charge of the invasion of the Galaxy. (intro)
 * 3) **That was a cheeky inference due to his rank as warmaster. I am ashamed, and it is gone Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Might want to mention the Starlancer Project in the intro, because that's the reason Tsavong Lah demands a hasty assault.
 * 5) **See what you think
 * 6) * Checked Enemy Lines II and found that "the" is not typically used in front of Lusankya. Please revise as necessary. Same with Mon Mothma.
 * 7) **Feels weird, but it's gone.
 * 8) ***I agree, but meh, it's policy.
 * 9) * Might want to link to the Goddess missile.
 * 10) **It is done (pipelink at the end of "Final engagement")
 * 11) * It might be worth it to note that Lah was compared to Garm bel Iblis, whom the Vong saw as the New Rep's pre-eminent tactician.
 * 12) **Put it in the P&T, it works quite nicely there.
 * 13) *Glad to see you're back and giving Czulkang Lah a new look. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:32, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks, it's good to be back! I'll try my hand at Tsavong eventually...cheers for the review Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)


 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One
 * 2) * Regarding Czulkang Lah's pits - it should be mentioned that those warriors who received a large number of pits were considered to be idiots rather than honorable warriors.
 * 3) **Done! Have a look and see whatcha think.
 * 4) * Do we know the exact relationship between Czulkang and Maal Lah other than belonging to the same domain? His article describes him as a creche-brother to Tsavong.
 * 5) **All we know is that Maal Lah bore several scars from being taught by Czulkang. He is Tsavong's creche brother, but in the NJO it's never made crystal clear how relations work in the domains. And unless it's a fact, I am dubious. I will, however, re-read Ylesia, in which Maal Lah is the principal Yuuzhan Vong character, and have a final check. I'll FA him soon enough anyway.
 * 6) ***Yes, the concept of Yuuzhan Vong family was, as I remember, vague at best. I've not read the NJO books in a while, so I was just checking.
 * 7) * The success of his son was such that following the seizure of Coruscant, Czulkang Lah incorporated the strategies his son had utilized in taking the world into his military classes. Consider replacing one of the uses of the word "son" to avoid repetition.
 * 8) **I replaced the first one.
 * 9) * Believing Borleias to be of great significance to the New Republic, as demonstrated by the swift destruction of Cha's fleet and the discovery of plans for an unknown weapon on the moon of Pyria VI, Tsavong Lah, who was needed in other theaters and suffering the treachery of his attendants, had decided to approach his father, offering Czulkang command of the campaign to secure Borleias from Antilles and his garrison. This sentence is very long and doesn't flow. Consider breaking it up.
 * 10) **Got a bit carried away&mdash;it's been broken.
 * 11) * Disinformation leaked to Elgrin, the Yuuzhan Vong spy, had been communicated back to the warmaster, which suggested that the Starlancer Project was a superweapon of massive power, a grave threat to all Yuuzhan Vong Koros-strohna, of which there were few remaining. Consider revising this sentence or breaking it up to flow better.
 * 12) **Again, I broke it up into two.
 * 13) * Mention of the disinformation regarding the Lambent crystal should be mentioned in the article before the mission to destroy it is revealed.
 * 14) **Added
 * 15) *- Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 20:32, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks for the review. Harrar 16:47, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***No problems - Czulkang was always one of my favorite Yuuzhan Vong characters from the NJO. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 22:13, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) Toprawa:
 * 19) * I apologize beforehand for what may very well be a series of objections as I read through this thing in stages, but it's rather long. :P
 * 20) * For starters, I'd like to see some more images in here throughout. Be creative. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:20, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **I added one of Tsavong Lah and one of Wedge Antilles flying during the battle.
 * 22) ***Could you try and add one more picture to the left hand side of the top of the biography? Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:15, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***I looked around myself to see what I could add, and it seems like there is really nothing good, so I'm not going to hold this up on that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:27, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * This sentence is very unclear to me. I don't know what this is saying, nor the significance of these actions. A little clarifying and contextualizing, please: "Meanwhile, the untouched Starlancer vehicles intersected a series of laser beams before firing off a column of energy into distant space toward Coruscant"
 * 25) **Addressed. Is it clearer now?
 * 26) ***Yep, better. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:15, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * I'm assuming this is meant to read that the beam appeared to do this according to Tsavong's perspective? If so, please tweak it a little bit to specify this: "The Starlancer Project's laser beam appeared to have reached Coruscant from the Pyria system"
 * 28) **"Appeared" qualified
 * 29) * Unless you can say this appeared to someone to be so, please avoid the weaselly "apparently" wording and just say what you know, either it did or did not overwhelm him: "appeared to overwhelm Antilles' defense"
 * 30) **Weasel words all gone, I think. You may wanna check just in case there are any nigglers though
 * 31) * Same "appears" deal. It either was or wasn't: "Although Lusankya appeared to have been crippled over the course of the long campaign" Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **Resolved with several qualifications/changes
 * 33) * It's not necessary to put "pipefighter" in parentheses upon every mention. Please remove all instances except the initial mention
 * 34) **I removed the later paratheses
 * 35) *** You still have numerous instances of the word "pipefighter" appearing in parentheses. Please remove. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:15, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) ****Very odd. Don't understand how I could have only corrected two or three and not all! They're all gone now. I promise. Harrar 14:09, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) **Excellent job, Harrar. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:21, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) ***Dang, it's late and I just spotted these&hellip;I'll get on them tomorrow if I can, but if not they will be resolved for Wednesday. Thanks for the review. Harrar 23:39, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) ****All done now. Harrar 23:55, 1 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments


 * Maybe not when my browser is so mind-numbingly slow...Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If you're using Internet Explorer, get rid of it. Use Firefox. Unless of course you're referring to your internet connection itself. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it's Internet Explorer that's the problem, yeah - it was taking about half a minute to type yesterday. Thanks for the advice. Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm away until next Friday but I'll immediately address objections on my return. Thanks Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)