Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

The Clone Wars: The Valley

 * Nominated by:  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Xd
 * 4) * Serious underlinking in plot. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
 * 7) * and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
 * 8) * spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
 * 9) **This one still remains.
 * 10) ***Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
 * 11) * Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
 * 12) *The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
 * 13) **Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
 * 14) * Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
 * 17) **Added clarity.
 * 18) * Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358  Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I got it.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) ***"Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
 * 23) ****Fixed.
 * 24) * The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358  Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
 * 26) The Grand Master's first look
 * 27) * Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
 * 30) **Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Fixed (I hope).
 * 35) *Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) The Grand Master II
 * 37) *Missing minor info in the intro (see other web comic GAs to see exactly what I mean)
 * 38) * Why is the fact that it's the first appearance of Chrin and Peppi Bow listed in the BTS? Is it really necessary?
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) * "There is not much left of the droids that attacked, but he will analyze the scraps anyway." Who does "he" refer to? Bibble or Typho?
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) *You should make an event for the battle in the article. Maybe "skirmish in the valley" or something similar.
 * 43) *You should also probably make a page for the valley location itself.
 * 44) *I'm seeing lots of missing things in the Appearances section. (i.e. the Palace was mentioned, as were sensors, a hologram, the titles of Senator and Boss, etc.) Please review the comic and your article and make sure you have every appearance listed.
 * 45) **Hopefully fixed.
 * 46) ***Normally this would fall under, but I want to make sure you know to avoid these in the future: The list is still incomplete. You have failed to list the titles "Senator" and "Captain," and the organization Naboo Royal Advisory Council. Make sure the pages you link are the actual pages and not redirects, and make sure you properly use the bullets (i.e. the "Theed Palace" should be a sub-bullet of "Naboo," because it is located on Naboo.) Also, make sure you list them correctly as well&mdash;according to the current list, Neeyuntee actually appears, but the title "Queen" does not. If Neeyuntee appears, and they call her "Queen," then Queen does appear, and shouldn't be listed as , as you currently have it listed. Also, make sure you add the event and the valley appearances as well once you've created the pages. And I would also suggest making a page for the other Security trooper with Chrin and Typho in the valley, naming him something along the lines of "Unidentified Royal Naboo Security trooper" (and don't forget to add him to the appearances, too!).  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:33, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *When does the 3PO droid appear? You have it listed under appearances, but it is not mentioned in the summary at all.
 * 48) * Please link each article only once in the infobox.
 * 49) **Taken care of. -- Xd 15:05, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *Also, as a note: in the future, please watch your linking. There were several things in the body that linked to redirects or that were not linked at all, that I took care of during my copy-edit.
 * 51) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:00, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) * The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) **Rearranged with info included in bio if possible, to avoid missing anything important. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 31) **I used synonyms; he's described as: (a being of) devious cunning (=Shrewd), (with) intellectual stealth (=Intelligent + cultured + stealthy), and his RPG stats show him as a cultured person.
 * 32) ***Okay for everything except stealthy. Right now you make it sound like he was good at sneaking around, which is not what "intellectual stealth" means. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****'Stealthy' gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:31, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 35) **Not changed: OS says it as an unconfirmed rumor. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 37) **Changed, but OS does not specify. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 39) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 41) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 43) **Removed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"This gave him several satisfactions." What do you mean? What satisfactions does this give him? It was more of the "satisfaction" that was awkwardly worded/confusing then the Navy's offer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****Yes, but the wording is still rather awkward. I would suggest using something other than "satisfactions;" also, does the source say "unexpected?" If not, it is OR and even somewhat POVish. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Anything approaching OR or POV removed, including "satisfaction". Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *******Now you've just contradicted yourself. Saying "deference was essential to his professional activities" is the opposite of what you just said: that he had no need to treat the people he dealt with with respect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:29, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ********Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 51) **(...) have left the crime lord more than a little paranoid. Not changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 53) **Stability. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***It's not very clear what you mean by "stability". Stability of growth? Of living? Monetary stability? etc. Please clarify. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Try now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 57) **Sentence changed; keep bc it tells about Saadoon's mid-term goals. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 59) **Added one date. OS is probably murky on purpose to give freedom to RPG gamemasters. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 61) **Not changed: OS compares them with the Star Dragons. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) The Grand Master III
 * 64) * Could you use something less colloquial than "up-and-comer"?
 * 65) **Done.
 * 66) * "increasing the Kadri'Ra's influence and range." Increasing his range in what?
 * 67) **Better?
 * 68) * "hired all the staff he could need, including smugglers;" First off, this doesn't fit in grammatically where you currently have it. Second, does the source say he hired "all the staff he could need?" It sounds rather hyperbolic to me.
 * 69) **Better?
 * 70) * "Saadoon-Kauldi became a prominent crime lord and reduced his public appearances." What exactly do you mean by public appearances?
 * 71) **Better?
 * 72) *"A chance to change airs" What exactly do you mean "change airs?"
 * 73) **Better?
 * 74) ***A chance to move where? This doesn't make sense. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) * "The Empire also began to actively attempt to enslave Saadoon-Kauldi again." When did they enslave him the first time?
 * 76) **Kauldi had been a slave, but OS doesn't specify whether an Imperial slave or not. Reworded to convey that meaning. Better?
 * 77) * "began asking the Kadri'Ra for advice in his venture to expand criminal influence outside Socorro." Who does "his" refer to? Saadoon-Kauldi or Abdi-Badawzi? Also, is Abdi-Badawzi related to the Badawzis that freed Saadoon-Kauldi?
 * 78) **Changed.
 * 79) * "and discovered the Kadri'Ra's worries." What worries specifically? Why is it important that he discovered them? Did he do anything about them?
 * 80) **Better?
 * 81) * "Saadoon-Kauldi then allied with Abdi-Badawzi" You mean he hadn't already? The previous paragraph concerning them made it sound like he had: "Abdi-Badawzi added Saadoon-Kauldi to his contact network."
 * 82) **Better?
 * 83) *"Abdi-Badawzi had sent Swain to sell Saadoon-Kauldi the ship precisely for that reason: The Twi'lek wanted an important, nearby ally supporting him, because he would then obtain greater influence and could expand the borders of his criminal empire to areas where Saadoon-Kauldi could protect him." Please mention this earlier, when you introduce Swain and the ship to begin with.
 * 84) **Better?
 * 85) ***Okay, but we're still missing out on the reason Abdi-Badawzi sent Swain to sell Kauldi the ship&mdash;that he wanted Kauldi nearby. Please reorder so that this is clear. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) * Is there an article for the Socorran Navy? If not, please create and link.
 * 87) **Done.
 * 88) * "As Saadoon-Kauldi became a public figure in the Socorran system, several rumors about him appeared. People said that Saadoon-Kauldi had been kidnapped from Arapia and transported as a slave, something that made him sympathetic to Socorran eyes. There were similar rumors about Abdi-Badawzi." This seems rather out of place. Also, why is it important that such rumors were formed about Abdi-Badawzi? And (in-universe) "people" typically refers humans; unless you only mean to refer to humans, please use something like "beings" or "inhabitants of Socorro"
 * 89) **Importance: Added sentence to mention that Socorrans knew him. Abdi rumors: Rmvd. People: Changed by locals.
 * 90) * Why is there so much information on Ethra Brewery in the 4th paragraph of the "Life in Socorro" section? How is this information relevant to Saadoon-Kauldi's article?
 * 91) **Rmvd.
 * 92) * "When talking to others, Saadoon-Kauldi used his native Kadri'Ra language and required a translator, commonly his indentured servant Guzald." This is very randomly placed, and does not follow the previous sentence or even the section in which it is placed at all. Why not just put this in the P&T?
 * 93) **Rmvd, as it's already in P&T
 * 94) * Random placement for this paragraph as well; it simply does not follow the previous paragraphs: "Saadoon-Kauldi was respected among criminals, and sometimes admired as if he were a King. The Hutts, who were as long-lived as the Kadri'Ra, were known to have good opinion of Saadoon-Kauldi. Saadoon-Kauldi had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies."
 * 95) **Moved to P&T. Better?
 * 96) * Could the last section of the bio be broken up into two sections perhaps? It is far longer than any of the previous sections.
 * 97) **Better?
 * 98) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali, enter some cave and vanish from public view." How is this relevant?
 * 99) **Rmvd.
 * 100) * "nineteen-year-old promise of piracy" What do you mean "promise of piracy?"
 * 101) **Changed.
 * 102) * Final paragraph of the bio: "unfortunately" is POV.
 * 103) **Rmvd.
 * 104) * "The Black Bha'lir jumped to help these people, as they were members of the Bha'lir." "Jumped" is colloquial.
 * 105) **Changed.
 * 106) *Will continue with the P&T once these are taken care of. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:19, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) **Have a look. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:49, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

Skirmish aboard the Coronet

 * Nominated by: Axinal
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt to seriously improve an article to GA standards. I'll appreciate any help I can get.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1)  Kryze Xd
 * 2) *This is what I saw when checking it quickly:
 * 3) * Combine intro into one/two paragraphs.
 * 4) **Finished with that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) * Too many subsections within the body.
 * 6) **Reduced from three to two. Do you think it should be just one?Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Always refer to people using their last names after the first mention.
 * 8) **Fixed that, though I still use "the Duchess" in some places, and "Satine's guard" is used instead of "Kryze's guard," since the respective article is Satine's guard.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Severe underlinking.
 * 10) **Fixed as much as I could find, but I'll keep looking. Thanks for your help.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *More to come. Xd  13:42, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Karika
 * 13) * Date in infobox needs to be sourced. Fine with me, if anyone could check TCW novel, thanks.
 * 14) **I'm having trouble with that. Aside from a definitive CW timeline as yet to be released, good Clone Wars articles like Battle of Nexus Ortai aren't sourced at all. Any pointers? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Another user sourced the date with The Clone Wars (novel). I haven't read it, so I'm not sure if it can be used as a source in this case. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Like Xd said, underlinking. Lightsaber, blaster, and blaster pistol are a few.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 13:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Read the article over and improved most of the linking. I'll keep looking. Thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Fett's preliminaries
 * 19) * Missing Ref tags in the infobox.
 * 20) **Everything in the infobox is sourced now. Is there still something missing? Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Not to butt in, but the ref tags are still missing. Xd  14:44, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Not at all. I guess I'm not really sure what a ref tag is. Can you give me an example? Thanks. Axinal 16:22, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Ref tags have now been addressed, though I'm not sure I quite see what the difference is. Thanks for your help!
 * 24) * The entire infobox must be properly sourced. Please take a look at other past TCW GAs to help you. Currently, the "c. 22 BBY" needs to be properly sourced. The episode or its guide aren't valid sources for this.
 * 25) **As I mentioned above, some good CW articles aren't sourced at all. Is there a reason for this, and do you know where I can find a proper source for the date? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Date was sourced with The Clone Wars (novel) by another user. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***What do you mean, some good CW articles aren't sourced? Could you please point them out to me? Some articles aren't sourced, but that's just because they're not GAs/FAs, which have to be sourced.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I'm not sure if "sourced" was the right word. Battle of Nexus Ortai has no references in the infobox, which I think is what JangFett meant when he said that "c. 22 BBY" needed to be properly sourced. Axinal 17:35, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****That article doesn't need sourcing because it's self-sourcing. If a subject (i.e, Battle of Nexus Ortai) doesn't appear more than once, it could self-source. However, any subject that's from the TCW television series, the film, or any related video game it has to be properly sourced because it appeared in more than one source. (i.e, information could be in the episode's Online Episode Guide, the video game's prima guide, TCW visual guides). For this battle GAN, you need to double check the episode guide and episode and make sure every detail is added in the article. That said, make sure "c. 22 BBY" is sourced to the TCW novel.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:25, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ******You can generally use "sourcing" and "referencing" interchangeably. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:02, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *******Ah. Thanks. :)
 * 32) ********Yes, thank you, Chack. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The intro needs to be merged into one paragraph, as it doesn't need to have three small separate ones. And you must include "around 22 BBY".
 * 34) **Finished there. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Missing something about the "Clone Wars".
 * 36) ****What do you mean by that? Do I need to specify that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars? Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ****The Prelude now mentions that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars around 22 BBY. Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "As the Clone Wars escalated" is not a proper intro starter. We don't know when this battle took place on the timeline.
 * 39) **Fixed Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * You don't need to have subsections within the prelude. Also, you're missing quotes for the prelude and each subsection of the bio.
 * 41) **Thanks, I'll get rid of the subsection. Do I need quotes for every subsection? The nomination rules says at least one quote is necessary, but doesn't require more than one. I'll keep working on that, though.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) ***Added quotes to the two subsections under The Skirmish.Axinal 22:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added quote to the Prelude. Axinal 01:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * Your BtS needs work too. Please take a look of some of the passed TCW GAs to help you. It's missing the original airdate, and I would remove that bit of trivial information as well.
 * 45) **I'll work on that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:29, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Few more for now: Your prelude needs to be entirely fixed. Right now, it reads like a short summary of "The Mandalore Plot," which isn't how a prelude works. You need to describe what happened directly before this skirmish began.
 * 48) **I rewrote the Prelude, but I'm not sure how much can be done there, considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish. Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***"considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish." That's exactly what should be in a prelude.
 * 50) ****Prelude has been addressed. Axinal 05:44, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * "During the trip, the Duchess's ship was attacked by the rogue group Death Watch, aided by the Confederacy." Please be careful when you're talking about an organization. It's "the Death Watch" not "Death Watch". Also why are they "rogue"? Quite confusing. I suggest removing that bit from the sentence.
 * 52) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * "As clone troopers searched the ship for suspicious activity," What suspicious activity?
 * 54) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * " Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, who was in league with Death Watch" What did he do to reveal the senator was the traitor? Also, again, what do you think is wrong with this sentence?
 * 56) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***"Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, the only one that the probe did not try to attack." Okay, but now it reads awkwardly.
 * 58) ****Addressed that. It's now more specific than I had intended, but it reads much better. Axinal 16:38, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "The Senator called for the aid of Pre Vizsla," Called?
 * 60) **Fixed. Specified to show that he contacted Vizsla via hologram. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * "In the battle that followed, the battle droids were defeated, and Merrik was killed by Skywalker." What battle? I'm confused here. There should be no separate battle other than the skirmish. Be careful here, as this will greatly confuse your readers
 * 62) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) *Another review on the way.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) Toprawa:
 * 65) * Considering there's going to be a third part to this Mandalorian TCW trilogy thingamabob, if not more episodes, your "Aftermath" section is already going to need an update, which means this article fails to meet GAN Rule 5. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) **And just FYI to the nominator, this is why we don't recommend writing and immediately nominating articles on subjects that just came out in canon, like in an on-going TV program or an on-going comic. Because odds are the subject's development is not done, and there's going to be a new information that needs updating, which isn't good for an existing nomination or status article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Yeah, I suppose I would have done well by waiting until next week. Thanks Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ***Aftermath has now been updated with information from Duchess of Mandalore. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) Xd, round two
 * 70) * The prelude is pretty minimal.
 * 71) **Expanded a bit. Let me know what you think. Axinal 00:36, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***You could still add the TCW trademark "In 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars..."
 * 73) ****Added, though I used "Around 22 BBY" rather than "In".
 * 74) * Is that Mixer image really necessary?
 * 75) **Well, a requirement for GAs is a "reasonable" number of images. I can probably find a different image if you think the Mixer one is unnecessary. Axinal 22:15, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) **Image has been replaced. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * Standardize your paragraph length.
 * 78) **Seems pretty consistent to me, but I can work on it if you can specify. Thanks. Axinal 05:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Fair enough.
 * 80) * Xd 19:56, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Underlinking in prelude.
 * 82) **I didn't link Obi-Wan Kenobi, Duchess Satine, Pre Vizsla, Coruscant, Anakin Skywalker, Confederacy, Death Watch, etc, because they were all mentioned/linked in the introduction.
 * 83) ***You have to link everything possible one time in the infobox, one time in the intro and one time in the main body.
 * 84) ****Ah, I understand. Linked what I could see. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * "and uncovered a plot by Pre Vizsla to overthrow.." Who's Vizsla. Context on him.
 * 86) **Addressed. Specified that Vizsla is the Governor of Concordia. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ***Still put in there something about him being the leader of Death Watch.
 * 88) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * "Anakin Skywalker and several clones were sent to Mandalore.." What clones?
 * 90) **Changed to "several clones, including Cody, Rex, Mixer, and Redeye . . ." Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ***I've taken care of it, but in future, you have to specify they were clone troopers.
 * 92) ****Okay, thanks for that.
 * 93) * "The clones were ordered to search the Coronet.." What Coronet? Again, context.
 * 94) **It's mentioned in the introduction that Satine's ship is the Coronet. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ***You have to provide context whether it is mentioned in the intro or not.
 * 96) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) *****I still don't see any context.
 * 98) ******Done the best I could there. Specified that the clones are aboard the Coronet, the Duchess's ship. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * Mention that both Mixer and Redeye are clones.
 * 100) **Mentioned in the introduction. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) ***Still needs a mention in the main body.
 * 102) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) * I'd replace the infobox clone trooper casualties with "Clone troopers" instead of "Mixer" and "Redeye".
 * 104) **Sure. Do you think just clone troopers, or some clone troopers, or 2 clone troopers? Axinal 22:35, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ***Just, IMO.
 * 106) ****Addressed. Thanks for all your help! Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) * A probe killer attacked Cody and Rex. Who's Cody?
 * 108) **Specified as Commander Cody, and mentioned in the prelude that Cody is among the clones sent with Anakin to Mandalore. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) * I don't see why the last sentence of the BtS is relevant to this article.
 * 110) **I guess it wasn't. Removed. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) * Xd 05:53, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 112) Fett II
 * 113) * In the infobox, I think you can add more for the "results" of the battle. I.e, assassin probes destroyed, Merrik failed to destroy the ship, what happened to the battle droids?
 * 114) **If I may intervene here, that's not really necessary info for the outcome of the battle. All it really needs is something stating that the Death Watch/Separatist plot was foiled (and even that would be optional, as that would be covered by the Republic victory). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) ***Battle droids are still an option, though.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) ****I fail to see how that is necessary. Per tons of other GA precedents, it has never really been done, because it isn't needed. That's what the casualties section is for. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:46, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) *****I see your point there, Jonny. Sorry for the confusion.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:48, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) * "Around 22 BBY, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were sent to escort Duchess Satine Kryze and several senators to Coruscant so the Duchess could defend herself against the claims that she was in league with the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Tense and minor grammatical issues are a problem in this sentence.
 * 119) **If I may intervene here as well, there is nothing wrong with that sentence grammar or tense-wise. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Yeah, I corrected it during my copyedit. It's taken care of.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) * Fact tag in the bio.
 * 122) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 123) * In the bio, you say "(and secretly the leader of the Death Watch)", however, please don't use parenthesis to identify context, as it's frown upon and unencyclopedic. I would change the parenthesis to an "mdash", though, I wanted to let you know.
 * 124) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) * "were sent to Mandalore to help Kenobi escort the Duchess to Coruscant, where she could defend herself in the Senate." Defend herself against what?
 * 126) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) *There are many tiny paragraphs throughout the "skirmish" and "Merrik" sub sections. Please go through each paragraph and merge them together to form proportional, concise paragraphs. Proper formatting is an issue I see with this article. And once that's done, please neatly reorganize your three images. The two that are in the "Merrik" sub section are close to each other and need to be spread apart.
 * 128) * " However, before he could act on his suspicions, he, too was attacked." Attacked by what? Also, please clarify or reword "before he could act on his suspicions". Quite confusing.
 * 129) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) * "Skywalker joined the clones to help in their search. They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." I have been seeing these short, choppy sentences throughout the "skirmish" section. It would be appropriate if you add more detail, though, don't get too "play by play" of the situation.
 * 131) **Addressed choppy sentences. See what you think now. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) * I'm seeing a lack of transition between "They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." and "As Skywalker and the clones continued to search the area, Skywalker noticed Redeye walking toward him.". If they found some crate with its lid open, why is this prominently mentioned and then they ignore it and keep searching? If the crate is important, please explain what's its purpose.
 * 133) **Addressed that. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) * "However, Redeye wasn't answering Skywalker's questions." You never have mentioned that Skywalker was talking to Redeye. Please be careful, as it will confuse the reader.
 * 135) **Addressed. Thanks for the pointers! Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) *That's it for now. I'll contiune with "Merrik's betrayal" soon. Please watch your linking, tense, and overall coherency. Formatting is a major issue I see right now.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 137) The article needs to better follow the Layout Guide in terms of a neutral perspective. The article itself is more oriented around the Jedi's perspective and needs to properly make use of an omniscient perspective&mdash;it's history, not a character's biography or a simple summary of the episode. That means that every single relevant piece of information, including the entire setup of the droids and Merrik's allegiances, need to be detailed in the Prelude. The article is in need of a major rewrite to properly do so. Additionally, I fail to see why the last sentence of the Bts is even relevant to the battle.  CC7567  (talk) 22:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 138) Hey there, whatever the article may be, I see the situation with the nomination... still that section you revised is incorrect. The amount of droids destroyed by Skywalker is four time the amount you suggest in the page for skirmish aboard the Coronet. I suggest re-watch the episode and then judge what is wrong and what is right. Cause on the part of false information, the article needs and edit--Dangrievous 19:06, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just about all objections have been addressed. If Xd, Toprawa, and JangFett want to take another look to make sure they are satisfied, I'd be much obliged. Thanks again! Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) * "Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) The Grand Master
 * 36) * Intro: context for Green Company.
 * 37) **Added.
 * 38) * Intro: "and retake the exonium mines." What exonium mines? You haven't mentioned anything about them so far.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) *Grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 41) **Fixed.
 * 42) ***Still seeing some issues; mainly just a lot of awkward wording of phrases. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:03, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * "The Republic forces—along with some of the Rishii warriors—then arrived and attacked the mines, forcing the remaining Geonosians to flee." So Fisto and Green Company aren't Republic forces?
 * 44) **Fixed.
 * 45) * "a retreat was ordered by the arriving Jedi Master Kit Fisto." "Arriving" is rather confusing here.
 * 46) **Fixed.
 * 47) ***This remains in the bio. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:59, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * Lots of wording of phrases in the intro and the body is exactly the same. Please change it up a bit.
 * 50) **Changed several.
 * 51) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) **Thank you for your review Jon. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 21:30, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Ludo Kressh's pedicure set

 * Nominated by: Calithlin (comlink) 18:30, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hilarious amount of information for a malevolent nail trimmer.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Preliminaries
 * 2) * Expand the intro. One that only consists of one sentence is not adequate.
 * 3) **Expanded the intro. Not sure if it should be longer/more detailed without ruining the rest of the article.Calithlin (comlink)
 * 4) * Full sourcing is required in the infobox and body if there's more than one appearance.
 * 5) **Added sourcing Calithlin (comlink)
 * 6) * Speculation does not belong in any article on Wookieepedia.
 * 7) **Removed/edited what I think you thought was speculation. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 8) * Nothing to specifically describe the set? Not even in a "Description" section?
 * 9) **Described what could be described in new description section. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 10) *Please make sure that you are absolutely confident that the article adheres to every single one of the GAN Rules listed at the top of this page, which should ideally be done before nominating an article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Done. Cylka  -talk- 13:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Driveby!
 * 13) * Source the Fact tag. Xd  20:13, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **The one about what was inside of it? I figured it was all I could do to make the description section more than one sentance long, since it is never shown what is inside. I'll move that to behind the scenes.
 * 15) Nayayen
 * 16) *"The artifact was later discovered by agents of the Jedi Covenant and taken to the Sanctum of the Exalted for study, and later discovered by Zayne Carrick and his partner, Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph." This sentence is too long, please break it up a bit.
 * 17) **Broke this up.
 * 18) ***Perhaps add a little bit to say why/what they were investigating?  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Expanded Cylka  -talk- 13:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * "Ludo Kressh slowly executed every member of her family one-by-one." I can't find anything saying that he killed them one-by-one, just that he killed them.
 * 21) **Changed to 'Ludo Kressh executed every member of her family, starting with her father'
 * 22) * Your linking needs improvement: link once at the first mention in the infobox, intro and main body of the article.
 * 23) **Added/removed links to follow as detailed above.
 * 24) * The content for the "JAQ1" ref should be put into Cite web. You'll probably want to use the link, title, access date, author and format fields.
 * 25) **Done and done.
 * 26) * There isn't really a need to include "Gryph" in Hierogryph's name when you first mention him because you don't use the nickname anywhere.
 * 27) **Removed.
 * 28) * The Bts doesn't need to summarise the events you've already described in the history. It should contain information about what it was portrayed in.
 * 29) **Hacked out all the story elements.
 * 30) *Nothing more from me on an interesting choice of article.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  15:58, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) I could find nothing in the eBook source mentioning the pedicure set. And the Q&A only confirms that the pedicure set found in the KotOR comics is Ludo Kressh's actual pedicure kit. I don't think this article should include the other source. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:19, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) *I have reworked the whole article. Please look it over to see if it now satisfies your objection. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 13:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * After two unanswered talk page messages to the nominator and consultation with other AC members, I have adopted this article's nomination. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 13:23, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

 * Unaddressed objection for over 3 weeks. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:34, March 19, 2010 (UTC)


 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 20:14, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Cylka sent a talk page message to the nominator yesterday asking her if she was still interested in maintaining the nomination. If she doesn't receive a response, I believe Cylka would like to take over the nomination. So I would say give this another day. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Unidentified clone trooper officer (Tsui Choi)

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:27, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- 1358  (Talk) 17:57, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a documentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *****I'll strike this for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) *How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 31) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 32) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ******You haven't added anything about his status as a clone stormtrooper. (And the infobox still reads "commander") NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *******Changed that in the infobox, but we have no source that he became a stormtrooper. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ********The fact that he is a clone trooper who transerred into the Empire army means he is a clone stormtrooper per works such as Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader or even, I believe, Star Wars: Battlefront II.
 * 38) *********Well, but we cannot be sure. If you don't insist on it to 100 percent I wouldn't add it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **********The Grand Army of the Republic no longer exists at this point, and the clone trooper classification went with it. There are only stormtroopers after about the first few days of the Empire, and SW:P happens well after that threshold, so we can be 100% sure he's a stormtrooper. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***********Included it in the bio.
 * 41) ************You can't just include a sentance that the troopers became stormtroopers and call this one good. You have a fully sourcable rank compared to the (previously acceptable) assumption that he was a clone trooper officer. This needs to be fully integrated into the article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 43) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 44) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Added.
 * 49) The Grand Master
 * 50) * The intro is a little long for the article's size; could it be cut down a little?
 * 51) **Shortened.
 * 52) * Could you mention sooner in the bio that this officer served under Choi during the Clone Wars?
 * 53) **Better?
 * 54) * What do you mean "a blind alley?" How was the alley "blind?"
 * 55) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 56) ***So you're saying it's a dead end? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ****Yes.
 * 58) * I fail to see how the fact that this officer trailed Choi makes him loyal.
 * 59) **Well he was loyal to the Empire by executing Order 66.
 * 60) ***Yes, but you just say "as a loyal clone trooper," implying he was loyal in general. And he is just as much a traitor to Choi as he is loyal to the Empire. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) ****Changed to loyal to the Empire.
 * 62) * "Although a trained soldier, he was unable to defend himself when he was attacked from behind by the Jedi Master, an event which resulted in his death." This isn't very clear: how was he unable to defend himself; did he even get a chance to defend himself? Also, does this really belong in the P&T?
 * 63) **Better?
 * 64) ***Okay, but then what does this have to do with him being a trained soldier? If he didn't get a chance to defend himself, then he would've died no matter what, and it doesn't matter that he was a trained soldier. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ****Corrected.
 * 66) *****Okay, but I'll repeat: does this really belong in the P&T? What does this have to do with his personality? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ******Well, several clones managed to kill their Jedi officer and he could not due to faster reactions of Choi. I removed it.
 * 68) *As a note: please watch your linking in the future, as well as your grammar. And remember not to link anything in quotes or images unless they do not appear in the article's body itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:00, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:51, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) *Eh and what would you say about Narus last objection. Is he a stormtrooper or not ?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) ** Per precedent, I would say yes, he became a stormtrooper. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***Included it in the bio. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) Toprawa:
 * 74) *I'm not sure I see enough to warrant making the following assertion: "Like all clone troopers, the clone officer was born on the Wild Space planet Kamino as a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett." The reference you use for this statement, the Databank, says only the following: "each of the first generations of clone trooper was grown in the cloning facilities of Tipoca City, on the storm-drenched world of Kamino." How do we know this clone qualifies as being among the "first generations" of clone troopers? Figuring this clone doesn't make his first canonical appearance until the very end of the war, could he not just as easily been grown at a different location? Perhaps CC or someone can also weigh in on this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Geonosian spy

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An article with really weird quotes, although they all still relates.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) * Eh, could you modify the P&T image caption to a real sentence?
 * 2) **Try it now. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***It's still not a real one. Something like "The Geonosian spying on the Jedi" could work. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ****Actually, I think it's just fine. You can find similar caption in the article Galen Marek, in BtS. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *****Well, is Marek a FA/GA? -- Xd 14:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ******... ... good point. :P Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *******I took care of it myself, but for future reference, it's always "spy on" someone".
 * 8) ********Ol'right- thx. Kreivi Wolter 15:08, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Airdate for the episode?
 * 10) **Righto. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Source for that? You can source it to the Ep guide. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Sourced. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * Mention his homeworld in the bio as well.
 * 14) **Geonosis is mentioned already. Per TCW clone trooper articles, I dont think its really neccessary to give it further explanations. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Unsourced statement in the infobox.
 * 16) **Got it. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * The first section of the bio isn't completely sourced.
 * 18) **Fixed. Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *-- Xd 19:39, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Lee
 * 1) * Is there any source that Geonosis is his homeworld. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:50, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **It's rather obvious, but not confirmed. Removed. Kreivi Wolter 19:20, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Thanks. I rember Geonosian colonies on Hypori and aslong it is not confirmed that it is his homeworld infact, it shouldn't be there. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) One thing I'm noticing are the quotes. If you cannot find suitable quotes, then you don't have to add any for this matter. The bio quote in particular makes no sense. The only one I see that's proper is the head quote.  JangFett  (Talk) 08:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *Thought they dont make sense, they all still relates to this article. Kreivi Wolter 16:35, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) **How are they relevant to the Geonosian spy?  JangFett  (Talk) 17:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Just read the quote description. Kreivi Wolter 17:16, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ****You misunderstood me. Unless the quotes are from the Geonosian spy or have anything to do with him (good example meaning the head quote), then it's proper to add a quote. However, your bio and P&T quote make no sense regarding the Geonosian spy. I fail to see how they are even relevant to his character, as both show nothing about him.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:22, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *****Well argued. Kreivi Wolter 17:30, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ******That's how it should be, Kreivi. Just remember what I said. If someone mentions the spy indirectly, then it would also be a proper quote. However, those two quotes that you had in the bio and P&T had no meaning to his character.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:40, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Fett
 * 12) * "Jedi Padawans Barris Offee and Ahsoka Tano, who were trying to destroy the foundry by detonating its main generator, sneaked through the catacombs and accidentally awakened the Geonosian, who, unsure about the presence of the Jedi, started to follow their track." First off, "detonate" it with what? Second, if he was sleeping and unaware of the Jedi, how did he start to "follow their track"?
 * 13) **Well, it wasn't really told in the episode. He didn't see the Jedi when he awoke, yet he still started to follow them.Kreivi Wolter 17:15, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Explode it with what? "Exploding" doesn't work here.
 * 15) ****Rewroted as I dont think that the T-detonators are important enough for this article to mention.
 * 16) *****It should be mentioned for clarity.
 * 17) * "After spotting the pair and hearing about their plan of, he quickly ran to inform Geonosian Archduke Poggle the Lesser about it." This needs clarifying. I don't understand. What "plan"?
 * 18) **Better?Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * "The Archduke then confronted the Jedi with his minions, but they were unsuccessful to prevent the destruction of the generator, and the foundry was destroyed." "Minions"?
 * 20) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *Why do you begin the bio with "This Geonosian male was a member of the Confederacy of Independent Systems during the Clone Wars, and served under the command of Warlord Poggle the Lesser, the Archduke of Geonosis."? If he has a proper name, then you shouldn't make it seem that it's conjectural. Also, please clarify Poggle's context. Is he a warlord or Archduke?
 * 22) **Adressed. And Poggle is both of them. Just like Wat Tambor is both Emir and Foreman. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Emir is a title, Foreman is the head of an organization. Also, I would just remove the warlord. We don't need to know it, and Archduke will be more concise with the intro.
 * 24) ****Then why can't Warlord be a title, and Archduke the head of an organization/planet? Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) *****The fact of the matter is that it has too much context. Please stick to either Archduke or Warlord. I would go with Archduke, as it is his proper title.
 * 26) ******Then why it's just fine in the FA Mar Tuuk? I wont remove either of them unless u can prove that the point fairly differs from Tuuk and this article. Kreivi Wolter 22:30, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) *******They're two different characters. Now onto my objection, I'll take this as is, but please check your grammar.
 * 28) * When did the Second Battle of Geonosis take place? If you recall any TCW battle articles, please refer to the "Around 22 BBY".
 * 29) **Sigh. I was trying to leave it out of this article, as its highly overused in TCW articles. Still, noted.Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * Please double check the proper name for "Geonosis primary droid foundry". This name hasn't been mentioned in any of the episodes. Double check the episode guides, or please pipe link it if it doesn't have a proper name. Conjectural titles are not to be linked as is.
 * 31) **I actually took it from its article, which was without the conjecture title. Adressed. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***You need to double check your sources. Don't assume anything thing that you see from non FA/Ga articles.
 * 33) ****Okay. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "They soon found themselves in a small hall where Geonosian soldiers were sleeping, one of them this Geonosian." Despite the grammatical error ("them this"), please reread this sentence. Why do you use "this Geonosian"? Again, he has a proper name. Don't make it sound that it's conjectural. Also, if the article is about the Geonosian spy, why is the pov focused solely on Barriss and Ahsoka?
 * 35) **Rewroted. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "When the Padawans tried to sneak past the hall, the Geonosian, in sleep, accidentally turned his hand right on the head of Offee. With the help of Tano, Offee managed to loose herself and the Jedi continued their journey, but only seconds after, the Geonosian awoke." Very awkwardly phrased. Also, what Geonosian?
 * 37) **Better? Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) ***"The pair were previously tasked with destroying the main generator of the foundry" By saying "previously tasked," it sounds like that they no longer need to complete that task, as it was probably completed.
 * 39) ***Removed "previously". Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * I would clarify which Geonosian you are talking about. Throughout the article, it seems very confusing as to who this "Geonosian" is. Saying "Geonosian spy" would be proper.
 * 41) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "However, they were unable to prevent the Padawans to detonate the generator, and the factory was ruined by the following explosion." Awkwardly phrased.
 * 43) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***Like the previous objection, please clarify this: what did they use to destroy the foundry?
 * 45) ****Rewroted as I dont think that the T-detonators are important enough for this article to mention. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****See my reasoning above. However, I'm going to strike this objection.
 * 47) * Your P&T drags on too much. Much of the information is just reworded information that has been stated in the bio.
 * 48) **Shortened. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***"Like most of his species, he spoke the Geonosian language, and was capable of flying." Do you really think this is important enough to mention?
 * 50) ****Maybe not. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * "Even though the character speaks few words in the episode, his name does not appear in the credits. The character is currently unnamed, however, the episode guide calls him "a Geonosian spy" in one section." Why mention the credits? If he's not mentioned in the episode, and only the episode guide, then please mention that only. A good example to follow would be the BtS of the Koho article.
 * 52) **I actually used it per this article's BtS. But removed anyway. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ***Again, don't trust anything non FA/GAs claim. Check your own sources, just to be sure.
 * 54) ****Fair enough. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) *Overall, please watch your grammar. I'm going to give the article another look through.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:24, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) Before I begin, I'm seeing lots of grammar issues throughout. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:23, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Images already asked from JMAS. Bless him for his helpfulness. Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Srrors'tok

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:05, March 11, 2010 (UTC) -
 * Nomination comments: Predatorial, growling furries with life-debts. Meet the poor sentient's Wookiees. From WEG, offered to you by WP:AS

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:21, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 00:54, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * This problem, and the next, have both occurred in a number of your noms. Please try to check these before nominating in future. Quotes and image descriptions do not require a period unless they are complete sentences.
 * 3) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Please check again. Notice I said quotes and images. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Oops. Changed now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *** Question. Is that intro quote actually spoken by Rahmma? It sounds more like something Tremayne would say. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Double-checked: p24, Often, a slow growl with a mumbled, "Kneel ... now," and a flexing of his taut muscles is more than enough to bring a potential combatant to his knees. Refers to Rahmma intimidating a third party, not to Tremayne humiliating Rahmma. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Referencing always occurs after punctuation.
 * 9) **Took care of the only one I saw. -- Xd 13:57, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * neither could abandon them to their fate. Missing some words.
 * 11) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Srrors'toks were susceptible to low temperatures, being uncomfortable when naked in cold climates. The first half is a little redundant, and the second could then be integrated into the next sentence.
 * 13) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * combined in an intricate and elaborate way growls, grunts and clicks,[1][3] the natural sounds that they could produce easily. Reword.
 * 15) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Should a person save the life of a Srrors'tok, then the Srrors'tok was supposed to be indebted to the saviour. Reword.
 * 17) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * this case was nonetheless commonly of the disliking of that Srrors'toks. Doesn't make sense to me. Reword.
 * 19) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Make sure everything is in past tense.
 * 21) **Double-checked. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Srrors'toks consider greatly disgraceful to contract Reword. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:35, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) Eyrezer:
 * 25) * Ahnjai appears to have a mane around his throat that is both longer and a difference color. Can you add something about this?
 * 26) * Tyionsis was native to Sellasas. Can you add something about this? It also mentions in his article that he joined because the Alliance wiped out his village. Can you add something about this too?
 * 27) * Did you have someone check the CSWE for mentions? --Eyrezer 01:30, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **IT does have an entry: "Srrors'tok - The feline species of Ahnjai Rahmma, bodyguard to High Inquisitor Tremayne." Vol. III, 185. --Eyrezer 03:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **All shoulkd be done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) The Grand Master
 * 31) * Seeing some underlinking. This is a very consistent problem with your noms. I urge you to please watch out for this in the future.
 * 32) **Better?
 * 33) * "native to the primitive planet Jankok." Was it the planet itself that was primitive, or its inhabitants?
 * 34) **OS says the planet is; nonetheless, ambiguous word removed.
 * 35) * "The Srrors'tok tail was a noticeable difference between the two species." I find this to be rather obvious, as we all obviously know that Humans are tailless. Perhaps it would be better to simply make note of the fact that they had tails, rather than comparing them to Humans in this case.
 * 36) **Better?
 * 37) * "Brownish-gray" and "gray with shades of brown" don't necessarily indicate the same coloring. Please specify which is correct.
 * 38) **Changed.
 * 39) * In the Society/Culture section you say they use blasters, but in the intro you say they were non-technological.
 * 40) **Changed. Use of blasters is an exception.
 * 41) * "although individuals could still use blasters without the disadvantages of other primitive cultures." What disadvantages of what other primitive cultures?
 * 42) **Changed.
 * 43) * "A Srrors'tok could never betray another member of the species, a friend or a collective of any of those." This makes it sound as if it was literally physically impossible for them to do so. Are you sure you mean "could not" and not simply "would not" or "almost never?"
 * 44) **Not changed: 3 OS's are adamant about that: Could not.
 * 45) * What kind of scouts visited Jankok? Military scouts? Business scouts? Explorers?
 * 46) **Not changed: OS doesn't specifiy.
 * 47) * "A Srrors'tok could also move because of a life-debt, but not in the company of his saviour." This statement is confusing and rather contradictory. If they were moving (I assume you mean moving off-planet) because of a life-debt, how could it not be in the company of the being they had saved? Besides, wasn't that the whole point of their life-debt&mdash;to safeguard that being? Also, this statement grammatically says that they could not leave the planet in the company of their savior, as in they weren't allowed to do so. Is this true?
 * 48) **Better?
 * 49) ***Better, but it still grammatically says that they could not travel with their savior. I'm assuming that they could, but some chose not to do so. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:35, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****Try now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:20, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * Please remove the first set of parentheses in the BTS prose. Dashes, or simply full wording with commas would be more correct here.
 * 52) **Better?
 * 53) * Context for Alien Encounters? (i.e. was it a novel, comic, sourcebook etc.)
 * 54) **Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:04, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 04:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **I'll give it another look soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:57, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Traavis

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Insert funny comment about this dude being named after Karen Traviss here&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:12, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:23, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) With a name like Skippy Farlstendoiro, I cannot make fun of anyone's name. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:02, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:44, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Are we allowed to object to terrible naming choices?
 * 2) * "skirmish between the clones and the Separatist battle droids." A little context on the fighting forces.
 * 3) **Well, the comic begins in the aftermath of said skirmish, so I don't really know if I could give any context for this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I mean that there is no context that the clones fight for the Republic or that the droids fight for the Confederacy. Something like saying "a skirmish between the Grand Army of the Republic and the Confederacy's droid army"
 * 5) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context on Supreme Chancellor Palpatine in the intro.
 * 7) **Are you looking for something about his status as a Sith Lord? If so, I really don't think it's needed, it would be different if it just said "Palpatine", but I think Supreme Chancellor is enough context.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Not really, I mean it seems out of place to name him in an article that doesn't go into the motivations behind 66. After thinking about it, his name should probably just be removed.
 * 9) ****Normally I would just go ahead an do it, but the other Order 66-related character articles have Palpatine in the intros, and not saying who the Chancellor is would probably not look right.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Alright. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:20, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Traavis, now a Jedi Knight..." He was part of the Jedi Order?
 * 12) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * "During the clones' mission, Traavis received news that General Grievous, the Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Army, had been killed." This seems a bit tacked on the paragraph. Reword it a bit.
 * 14) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Better. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:46, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * In the article, it refers to his troops as "the Aiwha Squad." is this the IU wasy to say it? If not it should simply be "Aiwha Squad."
 * 17) **I honestly don't see the problem, it's not as if I'm referring to a person. I don't think I can say, for instance, "Palpatine ordered Aiwha Squad", no&hellip; there needs to be a "the" there. I'll double-check the comic and the CSWE, though.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***On a side note, I've removed all references to "the" before Aiwha Squad. They are not needed, and look out of place. Rejigging of sentences has eliminated most of them in any case. Compare it to starfighter squadron naming; generally Rogue Squadron is refered to as "Rogue Squadron", not "the Rogue Squadron". - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:12, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Alright, noted for future reference.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * This isn't really an objection, but is there any way to get either a picture of his death or of his lightsaber? They would make great additions to his Bio and Bts respectively.
 * 21) **I'll ask around for scans from Volume 4.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *At least he went out like a punk. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:27, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Tru dat. Thanks for the review, Naru.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) Soresu
 * 25) * During the Clone Wars—the conflict between the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems—Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic. Without the dash, it effectively reads During the Clone Wars Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic.
 * 26) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) * He also congratulated Aiwha Squad for successfully completing their mission. Really meh IMO. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:06, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **I'm not so sure about this. I think it is important to state this. Could you try it? Thanks for the review, BTW.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***You can state what you want in the P&T, as long as you can extrapolate something about his personality from it. Maybe just put that he was grateful of the squad's work, instead of just stating something tht he did. In any case, made sure is repetitive ATM. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:17, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:41, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) Look, his birthplace was named after me
 * 32) * During the Clone Wars—the conflict between the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems—Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic. This sentence needs a verb.
 * 33) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * a five month campaign. I might be wrong but, shouldn't be "a five-month campaign"? I don't fix it myself because I'm not sure.
 * 35) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * P&T: You use "also" twice almost in a row. Suggestion: Remove or change one.
 * 37) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * BtS: Probably some actor or model provided his face for Traviss in Insider. Can't you find information on that person's name?
 * 39) **Looked for the online supplements for the issue, and those links aren't available. The issue itself says nothing.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thanks for the review, Skippy!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) Toprawa:
 * 43) * The BTS should do a little more to explain the origin of the "real" picture used to depict the character, seen in the infobox, since he first appeared in the comic as an illustration. And, is there no further information regarding this? I'm guessing this is an unused production photo from Episode II or III. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **There wasn't any info that I could find. In the BTS, would I call this a live-action image or something?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:42, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I think just calling it a picture of a "live actor" would suffice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:04, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Ok, thanks. Please try it, and thanks for the review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:40, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Dreebo

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:46, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Short and sweet.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:35, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, every one of my objections misses! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:06, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) —Tommy  9281 04:11, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:29, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 04:36, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) OMG. They killed Dreebo! You b*st*rds!
 * 2) * Although Dreebo was not one of Bogga's best, the Hutt trusted him enough to send him on important missions. Is OS that specific?
 * 3) **It says "Dreebo is not one of Bogga's best" but Bogga still had him out and about on his mission.
 * 4) * However, Dreebo's gunning skills left much to be desired, and every shot he fired missed its target. Again, is OS that specific? Maybe Dreebo was a good gunner but his opponents were better.
 * 5) **Nope, the story says he was not very good. And it says "Dreebo is not one of Bogga's best: every shot misses!" It basically says he's terrible at it.
 * 6) *Cannot offer any other objections. ---Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Toprawa:
 * 8) * Are we sure this character isn't meant to be a Pacithhip? Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:46, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Nevermind. Spoke with Tommy, and we agreed there's too much discrepancy between Dreebo's appearance and that of the Pacithhip to make the assumption. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:57, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Flanker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 257 words. Hope he stays over 250 words during the nom. Should be clean of all my earlier errors

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC) Insert non-formatted text here

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro should be proportional to to bio.
 * 3) **It is not. Should it be longer or shorter.
 * 4) ***It is fine now. Before, it was only one, long sentence.
 * 5) * Fact tag in the infobox.
 * 6) **Sourced.
 * 7) *"Flanker along with hatchmate Shiv did some desert training around 22 BBY and Shiv enjoyed it writing letters at Flanker, even after Flanker’s death in the Battle of Christophsis." Awkwardly phrased. Please watch your grammar. Also, context on "desert training".
 * 8) **Reworded, but we have no context on the training.
 * 9) ***Still remains.
 * 10) ****See above.
 * 11) *"Flanker, along with his hatchmate Shiv, did desert training and Flanker joked that one of them would get shipped to a water planet after this." After what? Also, please add context to "desert training".
 * 12) **See above.
 * 13) ***I still don't quite understand what desert training is. Are you sure you cannot add any context to clarify this?
 * 14) ****No we have no info.
 * 15) * "Shiv enjoyed writing letters to Flanker, although Flanker wasn’t much for it." "Wasn't much for it"? Please clarify.
 * 16) **Better?
 * 17) * "Flanker was killed during the battle, which resulted in a Republic victory," This makes it sound like that the Republic won, because of Flanker's death.
 * 18) **Changed.
 * 19) * Please clarify this: "but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker - because that relaxed him – until he was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, which was – ironically – an ice planet." Does Shiv know Flanker is dead? Also, please watch your grammar. Why are you using ndashes or "-"?
 * 20) **I corrected this.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:56, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper he died on Christophsis." How is this relevant to the P&T?
 * 22) **Changed.
 * 23) * "Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training." "He wasn't much for Shiv's letter?" Reword.
 * 24) **Adressed.
 * 25) * I don't understand why you mentioned the illustrators names in the bts.
 * 26) **Removed.
 * 27) * JangFett  (Talk) 20:38, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) War is hell, and Skippy is objecting
 * 30) * although Flanker wasn’t much for it. You are using exactly the same expression Shiv used in a quote of the article. Can you replace it with a synoym?
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Suggestion: A new paragraph just after that sentence.
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "ironically": NPOV?
 * 35) **Removed.
 * 36) * Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. Why "but"? Is there any relation between not being much for letters and having a sense of humor?
 * 37) **Adressed.
 * 38) * Maybe you should mention that Shiv talked about Flanker with commander Mag?
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Link Mag somewhere, even if it is in a quote.
 * 41) **Linked.
 * 42) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * One more: Do you think this article can use a youmay tag to differentiate it from the planet Flankers? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:02, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Added. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) Issues with grammar. This problem is getting old. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Still seeing some errors. Also, I urge you to fix these problems yourself Lee, rather than having other users fix them for you. Otherwise, you're not really the one promoting the article to GA status&mdash;the other users are. That's the whole point of making objections; so that the nominator can fix things himself and learn from the process, thereby avoiding making the same mistakes in the future and having the nominator's quality of writing go up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:50, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Lens Reekeene

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Rebel General to be used as a NPC in a RPG Campaign, and part of my own mini-project. Currently 1200 words, probably I'll try for a FAN later.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *Context on "Flankers"
 * 3) **Added; OS says little about that.
 * 4) *In the intro, you vaguely explained how he became a prison of the Empire, but in the bio, it's not even mentioned. "Sartran was disbanded by the Galactic Empire and the mercenaries employed by the company were imprisoned under false charges of conspiracy. While in prison," The jump from "being disbanded by the Empire" to being in prison is rough.
 * 5) **Better?
 * 6) *"While in prison, Lens met engineer Mikka Reekeene, also a former employee of Sartran. Lens and Mikka Reekeene got married in jail." This sounds like Mikka was also in prison for whatever reason. Was he an engineer in prison or a worker in that prison?
 * 7) **You are right. Better?
 * 8) *Try to add subsections within the bio. It will be more, concisely organized and well formatted.
 * 9) **Better?
 * 10) *If Lens was free in 11 BBY, how could she have joined the Rebellion? It wasn't established until 2 BBY.
 * 11) **Right. Typo in my notes, corrected: She was released in 3 BBY and soon after that (apparently some months), she joined the Rebellion.
 * 12) *More to come. Also, please watch your linking. I'll look through the article once more.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **More linking, and thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) The Grand Master
 * 15) *Seeing some grammar issues throughout the article. This is getting old.
 * 16) * Why is there a birth date given in the infobox but not in the intro and bio?
 * 17) **Added.
 * 18) * Why is there no dating of events in the intro?
 * 19) **Added.
 * 20) * "an Irregular group of Rebel soldiers." This makes it sound as if the soldiers themselves were irregular, i.e. they were strange beings. Please reword so that you actually say what an "Irregular" means in this case.
 * 21) **Changed.
 * 22) * Why is the quote given outside of any section? Currently, the section which you have the quote has no prose. Please move it.
 * 23) **Changed.
 * 24) * Does the OS say why Sartran was disbanded, or why the mercs were imprisoned under false charges?
 * 25) **Added.
 * 26) * "Later, Mikka Reekeene was released from jail, because of a management mistake." This grammatically says that it was a mistake for him to be released. Is that true?
 * 27) **Yes. Reworded.
 * 28) * "and her less political husband followed her." What exactly do you mean by "less political," and by "followed her" do you mean that he, too, joined the Alliance? This isn't very clear.
 * 29) **Changed.
 * 30) * 2nd paragraph of "origins" section needs to be reworded more to follow Lens' POV. The first couple sentences sound like the article's suddenly switched to one about Mikka.
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Page for the local moff? If there is none, please create and link.
 * 33) **Added.
 * 34) *Page for Green Squad's mission to Abonshee?
 * 35) **Stubbed.
 * 36) ***Quick question&mdash;was the mission successful, or is this known? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * "None of the other officers objected anything to her." This doesn't make snese.
 * 38) **Removed.
 * 39) *Linking mistakes throughout. Please make sure not only that everything is linked, but also that everything is linked cleanly and properly.
 * 40) * "Fortunately, the Empire was outwitted." POV.
 * 41) **Removed.
 * 42) * "to reach a meeting with the Alliance commanding officers of the sector." What sector? Is this still the Fakir sector?
 * 43) **Yes. Added.
 * 44) *"keep them nervous" Keep who nervous? Also, lots of the wording in the P/T sounds like it may have been taken almost verbatim from the source. I am unfamiliar with the material, but please check and make sure you don't use the same words as the source.
 * 45) **Changed.
 * 46) ***What do you mean by making the Empire "feel unsure about the Roughnecks?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * "tell others only what they needed to know." What others?
 * 48) **Changed.
 * 49) * Please check the format of the BTS quote. The source seems to be misformatted.
 * 50) **Changed.
 * 51) * "along with another Campaign" What other campaign? At least pipelink it.
 * 52) **Detailed.
 * 53) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:16, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) **Most done; still looking for the grammar part. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Gray Jedi

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:00, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After incrementally improving it for some time, I undertook a major re-write of this article in response to concerns voiced by Akujenkins over the release of newer sources that provided a conflicting definition of the term. I believe that I have followed the correct formatting rules and style, but this is my first article nom.
 * I believe I'm done with the major formatting and content edits. The article has changed dramatically from when it was first nominated. Thank you again to those who pointed me toward guides and good examples. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 15:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) A quick glance shows major sourcing errors. Did you read the requirements before you nominated this? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes, but I probably missed something. I will re-read the Wookieepedia:Sourcing guide. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I see what you mean. The article currently has single instance refs using multiple ref format, should be using the long ref list format (although this might change upon fixing other problems), it has numerous references in the introductory paragraphs, it has references placed within punctuation (and mid-sentence), and I erred on the side of inclusion&mdash;violating the "ref articles as sparingly as possible". I will try to fix these issues. Have I missed anything else on this front? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *I have made an initial attempt to bring the REF problems under control. Doubtless these will need more work as I address formatting errors. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *For starters, I would suggest reading through WP:MOS and WP:LG before anything else. This article is a mess as it is right now and needs a heavy formatting makeover. With all due respect, I can guarantee this nomination will not proceed any further until this is resolved satisfactorily. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:15, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **I will do so, thank you. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***I would also suggest looking at and reading through any of our current Featured and Good articles, specifically organization articles and the like similar to this one, which will serve as excellent models. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I am looking at Disciples of Twilight and Shapers of Kro Var. The disparity is, frankly, embarrassing. I apologize for nomming this article. I will do what I can. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****No problem. This is how we learn. I'm encouraged by your willingness to improve the article and quick recognition of trouble areas, which is a lot more than can be said for most new nominators. Feel free to take your time addressing anything problems. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ******Thank you for the encouragement. When I nommed the article it didn't even have an infobox. That's pretty ridiculous. :( &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Please see WP:ATT and check the article against it, as there is a rather excessive amount of speculation in the article. (That extends particularly to the "Possible Gray Jedi" section.") Additionally, please try to avoid using bullet lists where possible, as it's better to simply section off the information and expand upon it (such as Wraith Squadron's Member section) instead of plainly and blatantly listing it. Also, the article should be written completely in past tense per the Manual of Style.  CC7567  (talk) 21:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Thank you for the example, I was just looking for one so I could kill the bulleted list entirely. I have just cut the examples down to known members but have yet to comb through the paragraph content for speculative statements. I thought I had covered tense but I am not surprised to hear I have missed some instances considering the larger state of the article. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *Okay, the Known Gray Jedi section has been improved. Now that some of the major formatting issues have been resolved, I'm going to walk away from the article for now. I will come back to it tonight or tomorrow to start wrangling the text into line. Thanks again all for the suggestions. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 22:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *Alright, the article has been circumcised of all assumption, supposition, interpretation, specious reasoning, redundancy, and assumption. I have also evaluated for tense, and found that yes, I am, a little. Hopefully the article is at least less offensive now than it was when first nommed. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 02:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) *FYI, I did a bit of cleanup. Some handy things to know: "#" shouldn't be used when referring to an issue of a comic series, sources should be listed by release date, and appearances should be listed chronologically. I also removed KOTOR II from "Sources" as it's an appearance rather than a source, I added the New Republic era at the top on account of the Jensaarai, and I added a reference to the Imperial Knights section --- the bit about them using the Force as a tool comes from the Legacy Era Campaign Guide, not Legacy 0. I also added a link and removed a couple of redundant ones to Jedi High Council: in an article's body, you only have to link to something once. I think you'll have to include each issue of Legacy that the IK's are in in the "Appearances" section, rather than just listing Star Wars: Legacy. But you're definitely to be applauded for tackling an article on a subject that's historically been controversial and hotly-debated. Bravo! Menkooroo 16:07, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thank you for the assistance, I will crack open my copies of the Legacy issues and break up the appearances that way. I assume that, as that would mean increased appearances, I'd be adding a scroll box? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 17:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. I looked it up and couldn't find anything telling me to put it in a scroll box, so I didn't. Also, I did not include advertised appearances that have yet to be released, as I wasn't sure they qualified. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 18:48, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Sorry that you looked through every Legacy issue --- I was hoping that you'd copy and paste from the Appearances section of Imperial Knight. But yeah, no need for a scrollbox; the appearances list is still a pretty short one. Menkooroo 04:05, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****No worries, I don't need much of an excuse to read comics. I learned some tricks about how to organize appearances lists and confirmed that the Imp Knights did not appear in Broken, part 4, improving both articles. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 13:51, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Elyas Caran

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:37, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Don't look now, but FotJ is back!

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- 1358  ( Talk ) 17:33, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:52, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Vote or die! Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:51, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) I'll vote. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 04:09, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * How did they treat Jedi? A short explanation would be good here: "the same way that they treated Jedi."
 * 3) **Specified. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:40, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * What is this, a breathing tank? Can we specify at all? "had run a gas line of carbon monoxide into her tank"
 * 5) **Specified. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:40, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The P/T explains that Caran is ordered by Daala to read the suicide note, but the bio doesn't really explain this, which I think it should. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:49, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Done. Thanks as always for the reivew, Tope. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:40, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Droxine

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 10:13, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I started researching this because it was meant to be a species. When it could not be confirmed to be so, I opted to write up the planet anyway. Here it is, three mentions from '81, '89, and '04.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *Why not include the carchar in the infobox?
 * 3) **My understanding is that is only for sentient species, in conjunction with the sentient species that immigrate there. There doesn't seem to be a uniform policy on our FAs though: setting aside my 5 which only list sentients, some such as Agamar and Cerea list animals, others such as Kal'Shebbol and Manaan do not. My thought is that if we include non-sentients, it could be get large, ie Tatooine. Sentients strike me as more notable and therefore worth including. --Eyrezer 23:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I'll start a CT on this to clarify it, but don't have time at this moment. --Eyrezer 23:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****If you really feel the need to start a debate in a CT forum, fine. But, FWIW, I've included non-sentient creatures in the Darlyn Boda infobox. I think it would be worthwhile to even create a new field in the planetary infobox for non-sentient native species at least. Tatooine's 100+ native creatures would really be the exception rather than the rule, and in that case we have the option of using an infobox scroll bar should it become messy. Here's an example of one. Look at the Battles/events field. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:06, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****I created a Flora and fauna field. --Eyrezer 18:02, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Please utilize our citation template linking to the specific SW.com article for the Atlas reference. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:10, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) **Done - which also reminded me that it is of course in the Atlas itself.
 * 9) * You may also want to check The Movie Trilogy Sourcebook to see if the Droxine-Slave I bit is reprinted there. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:33, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Not included. --Eyrezer 23:14, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Doneer

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 10:50, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An insectoid shipbuilding sentient species. Look for more to come

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:26, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) The second para of society and culture describes Wookieepedians :P. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:00, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Viun Gaalan

 * Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 20:07, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Not FA worthy just yet, because he may make later appearances in the Fate of the Jedi series.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Nicely done. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:12, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Great work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  JangFett  (Talk) 18:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * "Despite being initially taken aback by the Sith Lord's striking features" I don't think she was taken aback by his features. In the novel, it simply describes him, with Dresdema only reacting to the fact that he is male.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Gaalan stayed behind with several others to personally deal with the arrival of Jedi Grand Master Luke Skywalker and two others." I thought he had just stayed behind to wait for Khai to fetch the other Nightsister; I don't think he intended to wait for the Jedi.
 * 5) **Check that out.
 * 6) * His dueling ability wasn't quite on par with Skywalker's. Skywalker's blade "came increasingly close to touching flesh," indicating that Skywalker was beginning to overpower him.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *Very well done. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:36, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks Jon for the review. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 05:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Backlash spoilers. —Tommy 9281 20:07, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not really objection-worthy, but can the "Duel with the Grand Master" quote be changed to include Gaalan's first statement, which you currently have as the main quote? Without it, Skywalker's reply doesn't make much sense. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:36, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Addressed. —Tommy 9281 05:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)