Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Aron Peacebringer


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Aron Peacebringer

 * Nominated by: Havac 21:26, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It's Marvelicious! Havac 21:26, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Interesting - never read much of the Marvel stuff. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:28, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 00:18, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Lord Hydronium 18:01, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:41, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:20, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 2) * When mounted outrider reinforcements arrived, Peacebringer took them on himself, putting the outcasts to flight. Still, Peacebringer was disturbed that his four-man party, the best warriors on Shiva IV, had had such difficulty with the band of outcasts. - The last part about Peacebringer being disturbed about the difficulty of the fight doesn't fit with the previous sentence where he apparently single-handedly forced reinforcements to retreat. Is there something that could be added here to explain why the fight was difficult?
 * 3) **Not really. It's that disjointed in the comic; four guys beat the hell out of a group of outcasts, but Peacebringer comes away thinking it should have been even easier. He's just that badass, I guess. I've mentioned that they were better armed than usual, but he just comes away saying "We had all the advantages, but they gave a good accounting." Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * On reaching Organa, he found that she was safe, nearly missed before she turned the knife against the Imperial officer. - This sentence doesn't read right, particularly the "nearly missed before she turned the knife" section. Please reword to be clearer.
 * 5) **Done. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * You mention the base's forces were committed to an attack, but did not mention that Peacebringer and Organa were taken to a base in the first place. Also, should this base not have its own article?
 * 7) **Found and added. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Sk'ar's airship sounds pretty unique - is there an article for it to be linked to? If not, one should be created. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:52, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Added. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) AdmirableAckbar:
 * 11) * "first time in memory" &mdash; this really ought to specify whose memory, or else be reworded some other way (appears in intro and bio).
 * 12) **The same sense "first time in memory" nearly always means; collective memory. I've clarified in one instance but left the unencumbered figure of speech in the intro for simplicity's sake. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ***I mean "who" more in a timewise sense. It seems quite present tenshish to me, and a quick poll of IRC has a few people agreeing. The change is the bio is okay but I'd like to see the intro altered. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:06, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Done. Havac 03:36, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Bit of context on Organa in the intro and bio, please.
 * 16) **I think the context in the intro is sufficient; she was shot down over the planet. You're correct that context was woefully lacking in the main body, though, and I've remedied that. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***I still find it somewhat insufficient. It doesn't really convey who or what she was. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:06, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ****Do you like it now? Havac 03:36, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *****Perfect. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:41, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * The first part of "Capture" seems a little play-by-play to me. I'd like to see it cut down a tad.
 * 21) **I don't know. There's a lot of stuff going on in that section (of the comic and of the article) and I've tried to hold it down the just the barest outline of what was being exchanged. Could you maybe make a few suggestions? Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Fair enough, and looking at it again more closely it would be hard to compress it much, so I'm content with it as is. However, the line "''Alisande caught the look in his eyes as he watched Delois and Organa dance&hellip;" stood out as something that ought to be charged.
 * 23) ****I don't know if I've trimmed it down, necessarily, but I've made it more distant. Havac 03:36, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * First paragraph of "Battling the Empire" &mdash; I'd like to see a few pronouns replaced with people's names for clarity. I wasn't entirely sure who was doing what.
 * 25) **See if you like that. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Looks fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:06, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * A mention of his Databank entry and reference in AotE might be prudent.
 * 28) **How do you mean? Just mention them in BTS? Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Sorry; yes. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:06, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Done. Havac 03:36, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Cool. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:38, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments