Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

The Clone Wars: The Valley

 * Nominated by:  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Xd
 * 4) * Serious underlinking in plot. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
 * 7) * and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
 * 8) * spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
 * 9) **This one still remains.
 * 10) ***Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
 * 11) * Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
 * 12) *The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
 * 13) **Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
 * 14) * Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
 * 17) **Added clarity.
 * 18) * Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358  Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I got it.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) ***"Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
 * 23) ****Fixed.
 * 24) * The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358  Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
 * 26) The Grand Master's first look
 * 27) * Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
 * 30) **Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Fixed (I hope).
 * 35) *Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) The Grand Master II
 * 37) *Missing minor info in the intro (see other web comic GAs to see exactly what I mean)
 * 38) * Why is the fact that it's the first appearance of Chrin and Peppi Bow listed in the BTS? Is it really necessary?
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) * "There is not much left of the droids that attacked, but he will analyze the scraps anyway." Who does "he" refer to? Bibble or Typho?
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) *You should make an event for the battle in the article. Maybe "skirmish in the valley" or something similar.
 * 43) *You should also probably make a page for the valley location itself.
 * 44) *I'm seeing lots of missing things in the Appearances section. (i.e. the Palace was mentioned, as were sensors, a hologram, the titles of Senator and Boss, etc.) Please review the comic and your article and make sure you have every appearance listed.
 * 45) **Hopefully fixed.
 * 46) ***Normally this would fall under, but I want to make sure you know to avoid these in the future: The list is still incomplete. You have failed to list the titles "Senator" and "Captain," and the organization Naboo Royal Advisory Council. Make sure the pages you link are the actual pages and not redirects, and make sure you properly use the bullets (i.e. the "Theed Palace" should be a sub-bullet of "Naboo," because it is located on Naboo.) Also, make sure you list them correctly as well&mdash;according to the current list, Neeyuntee actually appears, but the title "Queen" does not. If Neeyuntee appears, and they call her "Queen," then Queen does appear, and shouldn't be listed as , as you currently have it listed. Also, make sure you add the event and the valley appearances as well once you've created the pages. And I would also suggest making a page for the other Security trooper with Chrin and Typho in the valley, naming him something along the lines of "Unidentified Royal Naboo Security trooper" (and don't forget to add him to the appearances, too!).  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:33, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *When does the 3PO droid appear? You have it listed under appearances, but it is not mentioned in the summary at all.
 * 48) * Please link each article only once in the infobox.
 * 49) **Taken care of. -- Xd 15:05, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *Also, as a note: in the future, please watch your linking. There were several things in the body that linked to redirects or that were not linked at all, that I took care of during my copy-edit.
 * 51) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:00, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) * The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) **Rearranged with info included in bio if possible, to avoid missing anything important. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 31) **I used synonyms; he's described as: (a being of) devious cunning (=Shrewd), (with) intellectual stealth (=Intelligent + cultured + stealthy), and his RPG stats show him as a cultured person.
 * 32) ***Okay for everything except stealthy. Right now you make it sound like he was good at sneaking around, which is not what "intellectual stealth" means. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****'Stealthy' gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:31, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 35) **Not changed: OS says it as an unconfirmed rumor. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 37) **Changed, but OS does not specify. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 39) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 41) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 43) **Removed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"This gave him several satisfactions." What do you mean? What satisfactions does this give him? It was more of the "satisfaction" that was awkwardly worded/confusing then the Navy's offer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****Yes, but the wording is still rather awkward. I would suggest using something other than "satisfactions;" also, does the source say "unexpected?" If not, it is OR and even somewhat POVish. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Anything approaching OR or POV removed, including "satisfaction". Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *******Now you've just contradicted yourself. Saying "deference was essential to his professional activities" is the opposite of what you just said: that he had no need to treat the people he dealt with with respect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:29, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ********Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 51) **(...) have left the crime lord more than a little paranoid. Not changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 53) **Stability. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***It's not very clear what you mean by "stability". Stability of growth? Of living? Monetary stability? etc. Please clarify. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Try now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 57) **Sentence changed; keep bc it tells about Saadoon's mid-term goals. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 59) **Added one date. OS is probably murky on purpose to give freedom to RPG gamemasters. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 61) **Not changed: OS compares them with the Star Dragons. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) The Grand Master III
 * 64) * Could you use something less colloquial than "up-and-comer"?
 * 65) **Done.
 * 66) * "increasing the Kadri'Ra's influence and range." Increasing his range in what?
 * 67) **Better?
 * 68) * "hired all the staff he could need, including smugglers;" First off, this doesn't fit in grammatically where you currently have it. Second, does the source say he hired "all the staff he could need?" It sounds rather hyperbolic to me.
 * 69) **Better?
 * 70) * "Saadoon-Kauldi became a prominent crime lord and reduced his public appearances." What exactly do you mean by public appearances?
 * 71) **Better?
 * 72) * "A chance to change airs" What exactly do you mean "change airs?"
 * 73) **Better?
 * 74) ***A chance to move where? This doesn't make sense. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) ****Better?--Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:32, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) *****I'll strike for now, but this is really an unnecessarily lenthy heading. Try to keep it simple and accurate pertaining to the info in the section. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:07, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * "The Empire also began to actively attempt to enslave Saadoon-Kauldi again." When did they enslave him the first time?
 * 78) **Kauldi had been a slave, but OS doesn't specify whether an Imperial slave or not. Reworded to convey that meaning. Better?
 * 79) * "began asking the Kadri'Ra for advice in his venture to expand criminal influence outside Socorro." Who does "his" refer to? Saadoon-Kauldi or Abdi-Badawzi? Also, is Abdi-Badawzi related to the Badawzis that freed Saadoon-Kauldi?
 * 80) **Changed.
 * 81) * "and discovered the Kadri'Ra's worries." What worries specifically? Why is it important that he discovered them? Did he do anything about them?
 * 82) **Better?
 * 83) * "Saadoon-Kauldi then allied with Abdi-Badawzi" You mean he hadn't already? The previous paragraph concerning them made it sound like he had: "Abdi-Badawzi added Saadoon-Kauldi to his contact network."
 * 84) **Better?
 * 85) * "Abdi-Badawzi had sent Swain to sell Saadoon-Kauldi the ship precisely for that reason: The Twi'lek wanted an important, nearby ally supporting him, because he would then obtain greater influence and could expand the borders of his criminal empire to areas where Saadoon-Kauldi could protect him." Please mention this earlier, when you introduce Swain and the ship to begin with.
 * 86) **Better?
 * 87) ***Okay, but we're still missing out on the reason Abdi-Badawzi sent Swain to sell Kauldi the ship&mdash;that he wanted Kauldi nearby. Please reorder so that this is clear. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:32, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * Is there an article for the Socorran Navy? If not, please create and link.
 * 90) **Done.
 * 91) * "As Saadoon-Kauldi became a public figure in the Socorran system, several rumors about him appeared. People said that Saadoon-Kauldi had been kidnapped from Arapia and transported as a slave, something that made him sympathetic to Socorran eyes. There were similar rumors about Abdi-Badawzi." This seems rather out of place. Also, why is it important that such rumors were formed about Abdi-Badawzi? And (in-universe) "people" typically refers humans; unless you only mean to refer to humans, please use something like "beings" or "inhabitants of Socorro"
 * 92) **Importance: Added sentence to mention that Socorrans knew him. Abdi rumors: Rmvd. People: Changed by locals.
 * 93) * Why is there so much information on Ethra Brewery in the 4th paragraph of the "Life in Socorro" section? How is this information relevant to Saadoon-Kauldi's article?
 * 94) **Rmvd.
 * 95) * "When talking to others, Saadoon-Kauldi used his native Kadri'Ra language and required a translator, commonly his indentured servant Guzald." This is very randomly placed, and does not follow the previous sentence or even the section in which it is placed at all. Why not just put this in the P&T?
 * 96) **Rmvd, as it's already in P&T
 * 97) * Random placement for this paragraph as well; it simply does not follow the previous paragraphs: "Saadoon-Kauldi was respected among criminals, and sometimes admired as if he were a King. The Hutts, who were as long-lived as the Kadri'Ra, were known to have good opinion of Saadoon-Kauldi. Saadoon-Kauldi had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies."
 * 98) **Moved to P&T. Better?
 * 99) * Could the last section of the bio be broken up into two sections perhaps? It is far longer than any of the previous sections.
 * 100) **Better?
 * 101) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali, enter some cave and vanish from public view." How is this relevant?
 * 102) **Rmvd.
 * 103) * "nineteen-year-old promise of piracy" What do you mean "promise of piracy?"
 * 104) **Changed.
 * 105) * Final paragraph of the bio: "unfortunately" is POV.
 * 106) **Rmvd.
 * 107) * "The Black Bha'lir jumped to help these people, as they were members of the Bha'lir." "Jumped" is colloquial.
 * 108) **Changed.
 * 109) *Will continue with the P&T once these are taken care of. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:19, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) **Have a look. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:49, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) The Grand Master Continues
 * 112) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said to?" We're not interested in what others "said." Did he or didn't he?
 * 113) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) * "Many Corellian smugglers living in Socorro wanted to work for him." Any reason why?
 * 115) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) * Why do you wait until the P&T to say that he was Force-sensitive? Also, was he aware of this? Is there any particular reason he was untrained? i.e. did he not desire to be trained? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:07, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) **Not changed: OS only mentions his F-sensitiveness in RPG stats, not specifying whether he was aware of it or not. Anything beyond untrained F-sensitive would be OR. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) ***Okay, but if it just says that he was Force-sensitive, wouldn't adding that he was untrained also be OR? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 119) ****No, but added a footnote explaining it. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:50, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) * Why did you add "once" here? "He had low technical abilities and was a sub-par pilot.once." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) **Uh? How did it get there? Gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:27, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 122) *What is Saadoon-Kauldi (organization)? Is this meant to be the same thing as Saadoon-Kauldi's criminal empire? if not, please link it at appropriate places in the article. If it is, then please check the title (is the organization really also called "Saadoon-Kauldi?") and merge the articles and CSD one of them.
 * 123) **The text consistently says "Saadoon-Kauldi's criminal empire"; S-K is the person. I say, delete Saadoon-Kauldi (organization) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 124) ***Please make sure all information is merged; the organization page currently says that its criminal dealings included loansharking and credit laundering, which you do not mention in the criminal empire page or on Saadoon-Kauldi's page. Please verify this, and if it is true, please add it to those two pages. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) ****Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:21, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 126) *The intro is missing plenty of important info from the bio (i.e. barely any mention of his alliance with Abdi-Badawzi, which receives prominent mentions throughout the bio, nor any mention of his support of the Rebel Alliance, etc.) Please make certain that all appropriate topics are covered in the intro
 * 127) **Better?
 * 128) ***Actually, that's a bit too much. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 129) ****Lol! Let's try. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) * "He believed his followers would remember that gesture." Is there any further significance to this? During my copy-edit, I considered adding: "&hellip;gesture and would thus show him more loyalty." or something similar; however, as I am unfamiliar with the material, I didn't, in case the source said otherwise. If the source confirms this or gives any reason why he cared that they would remember the gesture, please add something of the like.
 * 131) **Not significant enough. Rmvd. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) *"The Twi'lek then discovered that Saadoon-Kauldi was worried about the Empire's attempts against the Kadri'Ra's freedom and decided to take measures." Decided to take measures to do what?
 * 133) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) ***"hopefully gaining him as a friend." Did you mean "hoping to gain him as a friend?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 135) ****Yes, Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) * "other unwanted situations" "Unwanted" is possibly POV. Also, like what? What other types of situations?
 * 137) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 138) * How was the Galactic Empire "directly responsible of the dwindling number of Kadri'Ra in Arapia?
 * 139) **OS doesn't say anything more on that. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 140) * In the first paragraph of the "Tensions with the Galactic Empire" section, you say that he joined the Rebel Alliance "around this time," with around this time referring to the previously-stated date of circa 10 BBY. However, the Alliance wasn't formed until 2 BBY. Please adjust the date accordingly (i.e. say something along the lines of "sometime after 2 BBY"). But remember to source this to a source that states when the Alliance was formed.
 * 141) **Added - but he still discovered the Imperial-caused holocaust in 10 BBY per Black Sands. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 142) *"pirate Drake Paulsen lost his father and mentor Kaine Paulsen" Do you mean Kaine Paulsen died? If so, please state so explicitly, and maybe even give a bit of context as to how he died.
 * 143) **Enough? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 144) ***Yes, but you've changed the meaninng. Now you say that Drake was murdered. Which is correct? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 145) ****Name shift! Shifted again. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 146) * How was Izzat "treacherous?"
 * 147) **OS doesn't specify, but rmvd. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 148) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:24, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments [[Media:Example.ogg]]
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) * "Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) The Grand Master
 * 36) * Intro: context for Green Company.
 * 37) **Added.
 * 38) * Intro: "and retake the exonium mines." What exonium mines? You haven't mentioned anything about them so far.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) *Grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 41) **Fixed.
 * 42) ***Still seeing some issues; mainly just a lot of awkward wording of phrases. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:03, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Better? And I will take a good look at Flanker. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:42, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) *****Several still remain. And again, please fix these objections yourself. Relying on other users to clean up your articles means that they're the ones who are really promoting the article, not you; and it also means that you aren't learning from the objections, which is the whole point of making objections to begin with. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:25, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ******If one of twenty is not fixed by me, a other user promotes this article. Dubious. How many errors are there and where?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:11, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *******The point is that grammar is a consistent problem with your noms and you need to learn to fix it yourself, because the GAN is largely about how the article is written. If an article contains poor grammar, it can often come across as incoherent and very difficult to review, because, due to improper grammar, what you're trying to say is often ambiguous. If you leave it to another user to fix this particular objection and don't even try to do so yourself, then you are not the one who is actually writing the article; the other user is. Avoiding grammar issues&mdash;along with avoiding awkward/poor wording&mdash;are basic English skills which are expected of the nominator. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:31, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * "The Republic forces—along with some of the Rishii warriors—then arrived and attacked the mines, forcing the remaining Geonosians to flee." So Fisto and Green Company aren't Republic forces?
 * 48) **Fixed.
 * 49) * "a retreat was ordered by the arriving Jedi Master Kit Fisto." "Arriving" is rather confusing here.
 * 50) **Fixed.
 * 51) ***This remains in the bio. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:59, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * Lots of wording of phrases in the intro and the body is exactly the same. Please change it up a bit.
 * 54) **Changed several.
 * 55) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **Thank you for your review Jon. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 21:30, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified clone trooper commander

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:27, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- 1358  (Talk) 17:57, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:52, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:49, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a documentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *****I'll strike this for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) *How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 31) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 32) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ******You haven't added anything about his status as a clone stormtrooper. (And the infobox still reads "commander") NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *******Changed that in the infobox, but we have no source that he became a stormtrooper. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ********The fact that he is a clone trooper who transerred into the Empire army means he is a clone stormtrooper per works such as Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader or even, I believe, Star Wars: Battlefront II.
 * 38) *********Well, but we cannot be sure. If you don't insist on it to 100 percent I wouldn't add it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **********The Grand Army of the Republic no longer exists at this point, and the clone trooper classification went with it. There are only stormtroopers after about the first few days of the Empire, and SW:P happens well after that threshold, so we can be 100% sure he's a stormtrooper. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***********Included it in the bio.
 * 41) ************You can't just include a sentance that the troopers became stormtroopers and call this one good. You have a fully sourcable rank compared to the (previously acceptable) assumption that he was a clone trooper officer. This needs to be fully integrated into the article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *************It put the info about the stomrtrooper in the bio. Hope this satifys his objection. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:14, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **************The article still primarily refers to him as a "clone officer," the latter half of which you cannot cite. 1) All mentyion of the word "officer" should be scrubbed out. (See below) 2) Mentions of him in the intro (While mentioning he was part of the GAotR), bio (After the first paragraph), P&T, and Bts should say that he was a stormtrooper or simply a "clone." You can cite that he changed ranks to the quote I left you on your talk page. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:54, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **************'Naru he is a officer, so I don't understand this objection. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:21, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ***************I can only judge from the images in this article, but I would say we have enough to go on just by visual analysis to tab him as an officer. Is he not leading this squad in the comic? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) ****************He's basing it on the color and style of the armor already, but you can't really do that with Phase II armor because it is so customizable, and officers sometimes even allowed their subbordinates to wear that style of armor as a sign of respect. Its not like phase I, or any other army, where you can automatically tell what rank he is by his colors, look, insignia, etc. This clone is not a clone trooper anymore after Palpy gave the Declaration of a New Order, he's a clone stormtrooper, which is a completely different animal. Therefore, after the Declarationis mentioned in the article, should not he be refered to by his new title, and in the Page Name as well? Also, just because he lead the squad doesn't mean he was an officer when he was in the GAotR or in the Stormy Corps., it (can) just mean he led his squad that day, or was designated squadleader, or some other option but it doesn't automatically make him of command authority or an officer at all. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *****************I just found a source which says he was a clone commander during the Clone Wars: here. I found it while looking for a source for something in the Tsui Choi article. Replace occurences of "officer" before the declaration with commander in the bio, but change the "officer"s after that to clone stormtrooper. Mention he was a commander the GAR in the intro and the P&T if you decide to talk about his servce in the GAR there as well. Part 2 of my objection still stands. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:23, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ******************Sorry Naru, I don't see any info on this page. If you add it yourself, someone can check it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:27, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *******************I hate linking to webpages, this always happens. >:( It'll work now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:32, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ********************Fixed, but there is a sourcing error now. And I still believe that his commander rank is the right for his Empire time.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *Now you need to add that Hasbro.com link to the External links and use the link in your referencing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:39, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) **If citing external links is beyond your abilities, please ask and I'm sure someone would be willing to assist you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:47, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 54) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 55) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **Added.
 * 60) The Grand Master
 * 61) * The intro is a little long for the article's size; could it be cut down a little?
 * 62) **Shortened.
 * 63) * Could you mention sooner in the bio that this officer served under Choi during the Clone Wars?
 * 64) **Better?
 * 65) * What do you mean "a blind alley?" How was the alley "blind?"
 * 66) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 67) ***So you're saying it's a dead end? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Yes.
 * 69) * I fail to see how the fact that this officer trailed Choi makes him loyal.
 * 70) **Well he was loyal to the Empire by executing Order 66.
 * 71) ***Yes, but you just say "as a loyal clone trooper," implying he was loyal in general. And he is just as much a traitor to Choi as he is loyal to the Empire. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ****Changed to loyal to the Empire.
 * 73) * "Although a trained soldier, he was unable to defend himself when he was attacked from behind by the Jedi Master, an event which resulted in his death." This isn't very clear: how was he unable to defend himself; did he even get a chance to defend himself? Also, does this really belong in the P&T?
 * 74) **Better?
 * 75) ***Okay, but then what does this have to do with him being a trained soldier? If he didn't get a chance to defend himself, then he would've died no matter what, and it doesn't matter that he was a trained soldier. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Corrected.
 * 77) *****Okay, but I'll repeat: does this really belong in the P&T? What does this have to do with his personality? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) ******Well, several clones managed to kill their Jedi officer and he could not due to faster reactions of Choi. I removed it.
 * 79) *As a note: please watch your linking in the future, as well as your grammar. And remember not to link anything in quotes or images unless they do not appear in the article's body itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:00, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 80) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:51, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) *Eh and what would you say about Narus last objection. Is he a stormtrooper or not ?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 82) ** Per precedent, I would say yes, he became a stormtrooper. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) ***Included it in the bio. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) Toprawa:
 * 85) * I'm not sure I see enough to warrant making the following assertion: "Like all clone troopers, the clone officer was born on the Wild Space planet Kamino as a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett." The reference you use for this statement, the Databank, says only the following: "each of the first generations of clone trooper was grown in the cloning facilities of Tipoca City, on the storm-drenched world of Kamino." How do we know this clone qualifies as being among the "first generations" of clone troopers? Figuring this clone doesn't make his first canonical appearance until the very end of the war, could he not just as easily been grown at a different location? Perhaps CC or someone can also weigh in on this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) **CC is not available for Wookiepedia so far. Possible it would be best to removed Kamino as his homeworld in the infobox and change the first Bio sentence to: Like all clone troopers, the clone officer was a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett. ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:45, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ***Well, assuming you can say that in normal, grammatically-correct English, yes, go for it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:05, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) ****Changed.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:14, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Flanker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 257 words. Hope he stays over 250 words during the nom. Should be clean of all my earlier errors

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC) Insert non-formatted text here

Object Comments
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro should be proportional to to bio.
 * 3) **It is not. Should it be longer or shorter.
 * 4) ***It is fine now. Before, it was only one, long sentence.
 * 5) * Fact tag in the infobox.
 * 6) **Sourced.
 * 7) *"Flanker along with hatchmate Shiv did some desert training around 22 BBY and Shiv enjoyed it writing letters at Flanker, even after Flanker’s death in the Battle of Christophsis." Awkwardly phrased. Please watch your grammar. Also, context on "desert training".
 * 8) **Reworded, but we have no context on the training.
 * 9) ***Still remains.
 * 10) ****See above.
 * 11) *"Flanker, along with his hatchmate Shiv, did desert training and Flanker joked that one of them would get shipped to a water planet after this." After what? Also, please add context to "desert training".
 * 12) **See above.
 * 13) ***I still don't quite understand what desert training is. Are you sure you cannot add any context to clarify this?
 * 14) ****No we have no info.
 * 15) * "Shiv enjoyed writing letters to Flanker, although Flanker wasn’t much for it." "Wasn't much for it"? Please clarify.
 * 16) **Better?
 * 17) * "Flanker was killed during the battle, which resulted in a Republic victory," This makes it sound like that the Republic won, because of Flanker's death.
 * 18) **Changed.
 * 19) * Please clarify this: "but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker - because that relaxed him – until he was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, which was – ironically – an ice planet." Does Shiv know Flanker is dead? Also, please watch your grammar. Why are you using ndashes or "-"?
 * 20) **I corrected this.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:56, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper he died on Christophsis." How is this relevant to the P&T?
 * 22) **Changed.
 * 23) * "Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training." "He wasn't much for Shiv's letter?" Reword.
 * 24) **Adressed.
 * 25) * I don't understand why you mentioned the illustrators names in the bts.
 * 26) **Removed.
 * 27) * JangFett  (Talk) 20:38, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) War is hell, and Skippy is objecting
 * 30) * although Flanker wasn’t much for it. You are using exactly the same expression Shiv used in a quote of the article. Can you replace it with a synoym?
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Suggestion: A new paragraph just after that sentence.
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "ironically": NPOV?
 * 35) **Removed.
 * 36) * Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. Why "but"? Is there any relation between not being much for letters and having a sense of humor?
 * 37) **Adressed.
 * 38) * Maybe you should mention that Shiv talked about Flanker with commander Mag?
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Link Mag somewhere, even if it is in a quote.
 * 41) **Linked.
 * 42) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * One more: Do you think this article can use a youmay tag to differentiate it from the planet Flankers? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:02, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Added. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) Issues with grammar. This problem is getting old. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Still seeing some errors. Also, I urge you to fix these problems yourself Lee, rather than having other users fix them for you. Otherwise, you're not really the one promoting the article to GA status&mdash;the other users are. That's the whole point of making objections; so that the nominator can fix things himself and learn from the process, thereby avoiding making the same mistakes in the future and having the nominator's quality of writing go up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:50, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***I believe, that I corrected three or four. Are there still any in it and if how many ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:06, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****First off, you only made two changes; second, you actually made both worse&mdash;both of the places you made changes were grammatically fine before, but now they are incorrect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:30, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *****Corrected them back. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ******Okay, but just to clarify, several issues still remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis." This has nothing to do with Flanker's personality; please remove.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) **Removed, but I think that nom should be removed (or is he still over 250 words?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ***The article is currently at 249 words. I suggest fixing the grammar issues, and seeing where the word count is then. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:30, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ****Better or worse ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) *****Worse, unfortunately. Again, the grammar you have changed was fine before, but is incorrect now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:00, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) ******I wonder what could still be incorrect. I changed most of the article form good to worse and back.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) *******Firstly, you changed two things; not "most of the article." Second, in both places where you changed things, the wording was previously fine. One particularly glaring example of a problem is: "Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv continued writing letters at Flanker, since it relaxed him." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:17, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ********Bah, I juts looked at tense not at other things. But the error from above is nowhere in the article. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) *********Yes it is. Bio, second paragraph, second sentence. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:14, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) **********Fixed. Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:36, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) Cylka:
 * 64) *There are still a few problems with grammar. I have found incorrect word and punctuation usage. Please fix this.
 * 65) * Flanker didn't care much for Shiv’s letters that he wrote to him, and he had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. - The second part of this sentence needs to identify who had the sense of humor and who was joking.
 * 66) **Fixed.
 * 67) * While Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis. - What does having been killed on Chritophsis have to do with being a trained clone trooper? Cylka  -talk- 19:38, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) **Fixed.
 * 69) *Cylka  -talk- 20:43, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) **Thank you for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Lee, this, like all of your noms, has plenty of grammatical errors. Frankly, it's getting old. I'm not trying to rude, but this is not English class. Please, please, try to avoid making these errors.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Lens Reekeene

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Rebel General to be used as a NPC in a RPG Campaign, and part of my own mini-project. Currently 1200 words, probably I'll try for a FAN later.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Context on "Flankers"
 * 3) **Added; OS says little about that.
 * 4) * In the intro, you vaguely explained how he became a prison of the Empire, but in the bio, it's not even mentioned. "Sartran was disbanded by the Galactic Empire and the mercenaries employed by the company were imprisoned under false charges of conspiracy. While in prison," The jump from "being disbanded by the Empire" to being in prison is rough.
 * 5) **Better?
 * 6) * "While in prison, Lens met engineer Mikka Reekeene, also a former employee of Sartran. Lens and Mikka Reekeene got married in jail." This sounds like Mikka was also in prison for whatever reason. Was he an engineer in prison or a worker in that prison?
 * 7) **You are right. Better?
 * 8) * Try to add subsections within the bio. It will be more, concisely organized and well formatted.
 * 9) **Better?
 * 10) ***Much; also, is their any relevant quotes? If not, then it's fine.
 * 11) * If Lens was free in 11 BBY, how could she have joined the Rebellion? It wasn't established until 2 BBY.
 * 12) **Right. Typo in my notes, corrected: She was released in 3 BBY and soon after that (apparently some months), she joined the Rebellion.
 * 13) *More to come. Also, please watch your linking. I'll look through the article once more.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **More linking, and thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) The Grand Master
 * 16) *Seeing some grammar issues throughout the article. This is getting old.
 * 17) **Try. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:34, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Better, but still seeing several mistakes; a couple examples: "Circa 0 ABY, Reekeene also led the Roughnecks in "Operation Retribution," which simultaneously damaged assets of the Empire, while the Alliance suffered the minimum damage." "Also around this time, General Reekeene joined her husband, Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro onboard their mobile headquarters&hellip" (<--comma usage; this currently grammatically implies that Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro were Reekeene's husband.) Also, please see my note below on the linking; it applies here as well. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Why is there a birth date given in the infobox but not in the intro and bio?
 * 20) **Added.
 * 21) * Why is there no dating of events in the intro?
 * 22) **Added.
 * 23) * "an Irregular group of Rebel soldiers." This makes it sound as if the soldiers themselves were irregular, i.e. they were strange beings. Please reword so that you actually say what an "Irregular" means in this case.
 * 24) **Changed.
 * 25) * Why is the quote given outside of any section? Currently, the section which you have the quote has no prose. Please move it.
 * 26) **Changed.
 * 27) * Does the OS say why Sartran was disbanded, or why the mercs were imprisoned under false charges?
 * 28) **Added.
 * 29) * "Later, Mikka Reekeene was released from jail, because of a management mistake." This grammatically says that it was a mistake for him to be released. Is that true?
 * 30) **Yes. Reworded.
 * 31) * "and her less political husband followed her." What exactly do you mean by "less political," and by "followed her" do you mean that he, too, joined the Alliance? This isn't very clear.
 * 32) **Changed.
 * 33) * 2nd paragraph of "origins" section needs to be reworded more to follow Lens' POV. The first couple sentences sound like the article's suddenly switched to one about Mikka.
 * 34) **Changed.
 * 35) * Page for the local moff? If there is none, please create and link.
 * 36) **Added.
 * 37) * Page for Green Squad's mission to Abonshee?
 * 38) **Stubbed.
 * 39) ***Quick question&mdash;was the mission successful, or is this known? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ****Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * "None of the other officers objected anything to her." This doesn't make snese.
 * 42) **Removed.
 * 43) *Linking mistakes throughout. Please make sure not only that everything is linked, but also that everything is linked cleanly and properly.
 * 44) **I think I've found what you mean. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:27, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ***Still seeing some mistakes, inlcuding instances of underlinking. (Another hint for proper linking: refuelling is incorrect) Remember, when possible, please try to link things in the article if you can, as opposed to linking them in quotes; for instance, I'm sure you can work at least Alliance Intelligence and Godking into the article prose, even if you just pipelink. Also why do you have "limit of missions" linked to the page "23rd?" This makes absolutely no sense, especially sense you just got done saying that the limit of missions was 20. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Underlinking: Try.
 * 47) *****You have not added any links other than the ones that were in the quotes. This remains. Again&mdash;normally this would fall under "sofixit," but the fact of the matter is, this is a consistent problem with your noms; please take the time to correct it. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ****Intel & Godking: Included in the prose.
 * 49) ****23rd: Survivors of 20 missions facing mandatory retirement were only a 23% of the agents, thus the nickname; article created but no change here.
 * 50) * "Fortunately, the Empire was outwitted." POV.
 * 51) **Removed.
 * 52) * "to reach a meeting with the Alliance commanding officers of the sector." What sector? Is this still the Fakir sector?
 * 53) **Yes. Added.
 * 54) * "keep them nervous" Keep who nervous? Also, lots of the wording in the P/T sounds like it may have been taken almost verbatim from the source. I am unfamiliar with the material, but please check and make sure you don't use the same words as the source.
 * 55) **Changed.
 * 56) ***What do you mean by making the Empire "feel unsure about the Roughnecks?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ****Sorry: Insecure, not unsure. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *****This still doesn't really make sense; how is she making the Empire "insecure?" Maybe something more along the lines of "she did her best to trouble/pester the Empire," or something of the sort? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ******Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) *******Grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) ********Now? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:35, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * "tell others only what they needed to know." What others?
 * 63) **Changed.
 * 64) * Please check the format of the BTS quote. The source seems to be misformatted.
 * 65) **Changed.
 * 66) * "along with another Campaign" What other campaign? At least pipelink it.
 * 67) **Detailed.
 * 68) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:16, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **Most done; still looking for the grammar part. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) One more for now: In the intro you say "Lens Reekeene was a female Human born in 54 BBY.", although it's the same in the first sentence of the bio. Mind rewording it?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:36, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) *Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Gray Jedi

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:00, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After incrementally improving it for some time, I undertook a major re-write of this article in response to concerns voiced by Akujenkins over the release of newer sources that provided a conflicting definition of the term. I believe that I have followed the correct formatting rules and style, but this is my first article nom.
 * I believe I'm done with the major formatting and content edits. The article has changed dramatically from when it was first nominated. Thank you again to those who pointed me toward guides and good examples. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 15:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) A quick glance shows major sourcing errors. Did you read the requirements before you nominated this? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes, but I probably missed something. I will re-read the Wookieepedia:Sourcing guide. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I see what you mean. The article currently has single instance refs using multiple ref format, should be using the long ref list format (although this might change upon fixing other problems), it has numerous references in the introductory paragraphs, it has references placed within punctuation (and mid-sentence), and I erred on the side of inclusion&mdash;violating the "ref articles as sparingly as possible". I will try to fix these issues. Have I missed anything else on this front? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *I have made an initial attempt to bring the REF problems under control. Doubtless these will need more work as I address formatting errors. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *For starters, I would suggest reading through WP:MOS and WP:LG before anything else. This article is a mess as it is right now and needs a heavy formatting makeover. With all due respect, I can guarantee this nomination will not proceed any further until this is resolved satisfactorily. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:15, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **I will do so, thank you. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***I would also suggest looking at and reading through any of our current Featured and Good articles, specifically organization articles and the like similar to this one, which will serve as excellent models. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I am looking at Disciples of Twilight and Shapers of Kro Var. The disparity is, frankly, embarrassing. I apologize for nomming this article. I will do what I can. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****No problem. This is how we learn. I'm encouraged by your willingness to improve the article and quick recognition of trouble areas, which is a lot more than can be said for most new nominators. Feel free to take your time addressing anything problems. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ******Thank you for the encouragement. When I nommed the article it didn't even have an infobox. That's pretty ridiculous. :( &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *The quote under the "The Jensaarai" subsection should use the "Quote" template, rather than "Dialogue." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:26, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Hmm. I switched it over, as per the WP:MOS, but I'm not sure that I did it correctly. It looks ok though. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 04:42, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **jonjedi... has supplied the quote with the correct formatting. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Please see WP:ATT and check the article against it, as there is a rather excessive amount of speculation in the article. (That extends particularly to the "Possible Gray Jedi" section.") Additionally, please try to avoid using bullet lists where possible, as it's better to simply section off the information and expand upon it (such as Wraith Squadron's Member section) instead of plainly and blatantly listing it. Also, the article should be written completely in past tense per the Manual of Style.  CC7567  (talk) 21:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *Thank you for the example, I was just looking for one so I could kill the bulleted list entirely. I have just cut the examples down to known members but have yet to comb through the paragraph content for speculative statements. I thought I had covered tense but I am not surprised to hear I have missed some instances considering the larger state of the article. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *Okay, the Known Gray Jedi section has been improved. Now that some of the major formatting issues have been resolved, I'm going to walk away from the article for now. I will come back to it tonight or tomorrow to start wrangling the text into line. Thanks again all for the suggestions. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 22:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *Alright, the article has been circumcised of all assumption, supposition, interpretation, specious reasoning, redundancy, and assumption. I have also evaluated for tense, and found that yes, I am, a little. Hopefully the article is at least less offensive now than it was when first nommed. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 02:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 20) * Linking&mdash;articles should be linked once in the intro and once in the article's main body. Also, no linking in quotes.
 * 21) * Watch for tense shifting; remember that everything needs to stay in past tense. For example, the following phrase: "While the term originally applied to individual Jedi who experimented with the dark side, its use would expand. It would later be used to describe entire Force traditions and would commonly be misused to describe those who clashed with the High Council&hellip;" should be changed to something like: "While the term originally applied to individual Jedi who experimented with the dark side, its use expanded over time. It was later used to describe entire Force traditions and was also commonly misused to describe those who clashed with the High Council&hellip;" Also: "The term is similar to that of "Dark Jedi"&hellip;" and "While the term points to Force users who walk the line between light and dark&hellip;" should read "&hellip;was similar to that&hellip;" and "While the term pointed to Force users who&hellip;" respectively. Please check for similar instances of tense shifting throughout the article.
 * 22) **Much better, but I'm still seeing a couple instances of tense shifting. For example, the first one I mentioned above still remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Ok, I think I have the tense issues under control. Reading aloud helped. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * Please don't punctuate image captions unless the caption is a full sentence.
 * 25) * Be careful with your sourcing; Currently, the following phrase&mdash;"Both Koon and Katarn held strong allegiance to the light side of the Force, despite their abilities. Penin fell to the dark side but was later redeemed, and Korr stayed true to the light, though he was plagued with doubt over his abilities."&mdash;is sourced to Crosscurrent. However, Penin's fall to the dark side and redemption are not mentioned in the novel. Please adjust the sourcing here and check for similar discrepancies throughout the article. If you need help with sourcing, let me know :).
 * 26) **This one remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Doh! I thought I had fixed it, but the revised version was no better. I moved a problematic sentence to the end and lined up the sources to not alternate. The information in the paragraph is now ordered by source and actually reads better this way. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****Careful; now the last sentence of the paragraph: "Both Koon and Katarn held strong allegiance to the light side of the Force, despite their abilities." is unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 06:26, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Struck and integrated into previous sentences where the separate sources lie. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:12, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * Remember to avoid OOU (out-of-universe) perspective wording in articles such as the following: "Previous to his exile on Kashyyyk, Jolee had married a fellow Jedi, Nayama, against the Order's Code (see "Pulling a Bindo")." If you want to link "Pulling a Bindo" in the sentence, I suggest adding onto the sentence something along the lines of: "Previous to his exile on Kashyyyk, Jolee had married a fellow Jedi, Nayama, against the Order's Code, leading to the creation of the phrase, "Pulling a Bindo.""
 * 31) * Also remember to refer to characters by their last names as opposed to their first names after their first mention in the article body. i.e. after Jolee Bindo's introduction in the article body, refer to him by either his full name or simply as "Bindo".
 * 32) *I'm encouraged by your willingness so far to work on this article and see it through the nominations process; keep up the good work. If you need any help with these objections, or if you have any further questions, let me know :). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:50, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review! All of your comments make sense to me. I will implement these changes some time tonight or tomorrow. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Ok, I think I got everything on your checklist! I did have some questions about the last note, however. I assumed that, even though "Jolee Bindo" had been used previously, the section title, quotes, and image descriptions should say "Jolee Bindo" and not just "Bindo". Was that correct? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:51, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Yes, that is fine; usually quotes, image descriptions, and sention titles can use either the last name or full name, it doesn't really matter. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) ****Ok, and I saw that you fixed some of the instances for Bindo. Thanks! One thing I'm curious about is your decision to switch the Jensaarai image to the left side. I understand that alternating is the usual method, but the source I had taken the example from did not alternate. Is it a problem if the section title text for The Imperial Knights wraps around the left-aligned image in some resolutions? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) *****No problem. And the image alternating is more of a preference than an actual policy, although, as you said, it is the usual method, because it gives the article a less tedious look. But I have no qualms if you'd prefer to change it back :). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 06:26, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) ******I have no preference, and have decided to leave it. But I did reorder Bindo and ImpKnight entries to have a standard order between the three of "Main Article", "Image", "Quote" for spacing purposes. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:17, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) *FYI, I did a bit of cleanup. Some handy things to know: "#" shouldn't be used when referring to an issue of a comic series, sources should be listed by release date, and appearances should be listed chronologically. I also removed KOTOR II from "Sources" as it's an appearance rather than a source, I added the New Republic era at the top on account of the Jensaarai, and I added a reference to the Imperial Knights section --- the bit about them using the Force as a tool comes from the Legacy Era Campaign Guide, not Legacy 0. I also added a link and removed a couple of redundant ones to Jedi High Council: in an article's body, you only have to link to something once. I think you'll have to include each issue of Legacy that the IK's are in in the "Appearances" section, rather than just listing Star Wars: Legacy. But you're definitely to be applauded for tackling an article on a subject that's historically been controversial and hotly-debated. Bravo! Menkooroo 16:07, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thank you for the assistance, I will crack open my copies of the Legacy issues and break up the appearances that way. I assume that, as that would mean increased appearances, I'd be adding a scroll box? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 17:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. I looked it up and couldn't find anything telling me to put it in a scroll box, so I didn't. Also, I did not include advertised appearances that have yet to be released, as I wasn't sure they qualified. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 18:48, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Sorry that you looked through every Legacy issue --- I was hoping that you'd copy and paste from the Appearances section of Imperial Knight. But yeah, no need for a scrollbox; the appearances list is still a pretty short one. Menkooroo 04:05, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****No worries, I don't need much of an excuse to read comics. I learned some tricks about how to organize appearances lists and confirmed that the Imp Knights did not appear in Broken, part 4, improving both articles. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 13:51, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Viun Gaalan

 * Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 20:07, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Not FA worthy just yet, because he may make later appearances in the Fate of the Jedi series.

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nicely done. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:12, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Great work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  JangFett  (Talk) 18:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Cylka  -talk- 10:21, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:50, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * "Despite being initially taken aback by the Sith Lord's striking features" I don't think she was taken aback by his features. In the novel, it simply describes him, with Dresdema only reacting to the fact that he is male.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Gaalan stayed behind with several others to personally deal with the arrival of Jedi Grand Master Luke Skywalker and two others." I thought he had just stayed behind to wait for Khai to fetch the other Nightsister; I don't think he intended to wait for the Jedi.
 * 5) **Check that out.
 * 6) * His dueling ability wasn't quite on par with Skywalker's. Skywalker's blade "came increasingly close to touching flesh," indicating that Skywalker was beginning to overpower him.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *Very well done. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:36, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks Jon for the review. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 05:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) I just have one thing I would like cleared up. Were the Dathomir Witches led to believe that the Sith would be all female, or is that something that they assumed on their own? Otherwise, another interesting article, Tommy! Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:29, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *They weren't led to believe that, they just kinda assumed that they would be. I changed the intro a bit so that that point is stated outright. Thanks for the review, Cylka. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 02:59, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Backlash spoilers. —Tommy 9281 20:07, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not really objection-worthy, but can the "Duel with the Grand Master" quote be changed to include Gaalan's first statement, which you currently have as the main quote? Without it, Skywalker's reply doesn't make much sense. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:36, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * Addressed. —Tommy 9281 05:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Jesse

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 01:52, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It certainly has been a while since the last time I nommed a GAN. :P

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Pre-nom review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:04, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:00, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Attack of a clone (who doesn't know grammer)
 * 2) * P&T: Mention that he could fly a BARC Speeder.
 * 3) **I don't see its importance to mention. Mostly all troops can drive these. :P
 * 4) ***If you think so.
 * 5) * BtS: Who voiced him ?
 * 6) **Addressed
 * 7) * Bio: I don't think Jesse alone shot down the commando droids.
 * 8) **It's not important to mention. Neither the episode or its guide even mentions that clone.
 * 9) ***Well, but it is incorrect that Kix and Hardcase stayed at Rex.
 * 10) ****It was Kix and Hardcase, though. If you take a look at the episode, you can briefly see their armor. Also, Kix informed Jesse of Rex's condition after he returned.
 * 11) *That's all from me. Good work. Has he FA length?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:39, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thanks.
 * 13) **Anytime.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:14, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Bombing of Domaz

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:52, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From creation to GA nom. A minor event I should really have created ages ago and I will now need to go back through several articles to link it :P

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Excellent job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) One of these days, you'll nominate the Battle of Kathol.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:42, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  ( talk ) 04:42, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:58, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) One more Acvote for the snowball.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:05, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Jon edit conflicted me. I suppose that does make it a snowball. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:08, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The article needs some kind of first-appearance or first-mention tag. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:11, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 19:55, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Romort Raort

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 03:05, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Don't cross this guy, he'll steal your lunch money and defenestrate you!

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Defenestrate. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:35, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Don't assume. Just defenestrate. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:11, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Ahh, tossing dealers out of windows, those were the days.... NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:29, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) My lunch money. -- 1358  (Talk) 17:08, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:16, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy, just one:
 * 2) * Are you absolutely sure you cannot provide any more dates? Particularly when you say "He realized that he would have to wait years before he had developed enough influence", I think that sentence could really use "circa XX ABY" or at least "during the first years of the New Republic" or anything. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:41, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Hm, well that part of the entry in the DESB is written in present tense, so I can maybe make the assumption that the part you quoted could be dated to 10 ABY. Otherwise, no other dates or indications of a specific time period are given. Would you still like me to date it? Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 13:06, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Buzchub

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:23, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gotta love GAs

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) ~ SavageBob 23:28, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) '''Object this species, Skippy will".
 * 2) *Can you specify the supposed rhythm of the translators? I can find no obvious pattern; it is not object-subject-verb as exemplified in the first quote. What is it?
 * 3) *Are you sure that some of the Buzchub translators worked this way? Or maybe Und'l's was unique? If so, maybe you could say "In the case of the Buzchub Und'l", instead of "In some cases".
 * 4) *"For these employees, he made contact with a group..." Do you mean he made the contact in behalf of his employees? What employees? I thought the supposed space shippers (Plural missing?) were his employe r s.
 * 5) *WEG, Yay! Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * The "believed to be" from Harrandarr is straight from CSWE. I have no idea why it was put like this. It was hardly necessary from the original source... --Eyrezer 00:24, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is that the full image from the book? It looks cropped, but it's hard to tell. If possible, a more full-bodied pic would be good. ~ SavageBob 23:28, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * That's the full image. --Eyrezer 02:08, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Tsui Choi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:36, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The first RGAN in a while.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Jak Sazz

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 05:18, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And you thought the guys at the Mos Eisley cantina were strange...

(3 ACs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nice job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:13, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Is Xicer going to be the next AC? :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:29, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:26, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Great work; and an interesting topic, to say the least.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * he was respected for his many abilities. Respected by whom?
 * 3) **Nobody in particular as far as I can tell, it's pretty vague.
 * 4) * Mention that the Complex was on Byss in the first sentence. Otherwise, the New Republic infiltrated the Emperor's Citadel on the planet Byss seems to be a completely unrelated event.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * although Sazz was considered an outcast even among them. Does the source actually state he was an outcast among his own species?
 * 7) **Yes, he was considered an "untouchable" among the Ab'Ugartte. Basically, he was lowlife to them and they stayed away from him.
 * 8) *Goob job. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:17, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thank you for the review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 14:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) Toprawa:
 * 11) * Does the source literally say the species was "little known?" Otherwise, I would suggest removing that part: "a little known species"
 * 12) **Yep, that's exactly what the source says.
 * 13) ***Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:29, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Please at least leave a redlink for his ship: "He typically used Grivooga to repair his old starship"
 * 15) **Redlink added. I'll try to create an article for it soon.
 * 16) * I've broken up the biography into three smaller paragraphs. Is there any way we can expand the third, one-sentence paragraph at all? Perhaps elaborating a bit on what he was doing there, or any minor role he played in the scene? If not, you might choose to reconnect that sentence with the second paragraph for a cleaner look.
 * 17) **There's pretty much nothing else that can be said. The two pictures of him in the article are literally his only appearances in the comics. He takes part in no other scenes. I'll move the sentence back up.
 * 18) * Was he not given an entry in the CSWE as well? "He was also given entries in the second edition of A Guide to the Star Wars Universe and the Star Wars Encyclopedia." Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:10, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Added. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 21:25, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Krozurbian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 12:10, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Pacifistic crocodiles?

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Alien species! Alien species! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:31, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) '''Skippy. One objection.
 * 2) * These guys are carnivores. Shouldn't that fall under Biology?
 * 3) * Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:16, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) **If you prefer! --Eyrezer 12:20, March 29, 2010 (UTC)