Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles. A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;not be tagged due to an excessive number of redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.

How to vote:

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:18, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Drewton and I have worked on this article for a while, and I believe it's ready to be considered a good article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:22, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thats all I can see that other people haven't objected to. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:48, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) It's looking good! 04:18, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  IFYLOFD  ( Come with me if you want to live. ) 01:08, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) I think it's looking great.Ason Trayon  &mdash;Vote removed as per voting policy decision
 * 5) -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 17:55, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] (Imperial Intelligence)  22:13, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Cylka  -talk- 10:00, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the pages of NaruHina's Death Note
 * 2) *It seems OK but:
 * 3) * The him being in the Old Republic Era in the Infobox is not sourced
 * 4) * The language base in the Bts is unsourced
 * 5) **"While such a name might seem incongruous with Darth Malak's role as Sith Lord, he could be seen as a fallen angel due to his Jedi beginnings." I think this should be sourced as another opinion may be that he sees himelf as a divine messenger or something. There are many ways that "angel" and "messenger to God" can go.
 * 6) **Actually got rid of that, it just states what the actual name means in Hebrew and Arabic, have sources.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:35, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * There is a Fact tag in the Bts.
 * 8) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:15, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * One last thing, the succession box is not sourced. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:07, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Took care of it, sourced now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:03, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:20, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) Quotes in prose, speculation rampant in BtS, bullets in BtS, tiny paragraphs. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:19, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Long taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:08, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) There's quotes in the middle of sections, that's against MoS the double and triple refs aren't needed, some sections are just way too short, mainly article prose problems. It would also be good idea to copyedit the article, there are numerous grammatical errors. Watch for POV in the article, the intro, P&T, and P&A have loads of it in their respective sections. Also, the BtS, needs to be rid of speculation, bullets, then expanded with stuff that can be sourced, IE: interviews, actions figures, etc. DC 01:30, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *Long taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:08, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) It's IFYLOFD!:
 * 17) * More info on the "devices" in the intro.
 * 18) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:36, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Is there an article on Darth Revan's flagship? If so, add a link to it in the intro.
 * 20) **Fixed, also linked in the body. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:53, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * "The Sith Lord corrupted Shan, who he had once considered a threat, and made her his apprentice, replacing the slain Darth Bandon, whom Revan had killed." Reword and/or split up this sentence.
 * 22) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:34, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * Context needed on Deesra Luur Jada and Lucien Draay.
 * 24) **Done. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 14:09, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * More info on the "discovery" made by Adasca.
 * 26) *Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Context for Krynda Draay and Xamar.
 * 28) *I think it's fixed, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:22, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * Unsourced statements in BtS.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:50, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *Fixed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) Cylka:
 * 32) * The infobox needs to be sourced correctly. Also any additional text in or out of parenthesis needs to either sourced separately or written before the ref notes, whichever the case may be.
 * 33) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * The Star Forge wasn't just a superweapon, but also a space-based factory or spacestation. I think it would be worth mentioning that.
 * 35) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Was Malak helping Zayne in trying to apprehend Gryph? I thought that he was looking for Zayne at the behest of Lucien Draay and found him after Gryph got away. I could be wrong, but please check this out.
 * 37) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * Give a little more info on how Zayne ended up on the Legacy. You mention that Zayne started a diversion, but no one knows how or why he got there.
 * 39) * Please give a little more context to how Zayne ended up on Jebble and they had to rescue him again. Just a sentence will do. Something like In light of certain events on Taris, Zayne traveled to Jebble where he was once again in need of assistance.
 * 40) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * Please remove any quotes in the prose. From what I understand quotes or partial quotes can only be found in Bts, while quote templates only at the beginning of sections.
 * 42) *Those quotes in the BTS section are somewhat necessary, I feel, since they are from James Ohlen and John Jackson Miller, respectively. The quote from Ohlen is from Malak's databank entry, while the partial quote from Miller is from the letters section of Knights of the Old Republic #29. We can't just ignore those quotes.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:31, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Make sure that "master" is capitalized when referring to them by name or Jedi Master. I changed some of them, but I'm not sure I got them all.
 * 44) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:04, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * It was not long before rumors began to spread that Malak's apprentice, who would be known as Darth Bandon, would challenge him for the right to rule, as was the manner of the Sith. The result of this revolt, however, is unknown. Other Sith only wondered about this. Bandon didn't form a revolt. He was killed before he could - according to the databank. This needs to be changed.
 * 46) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * Malak was a pale-skinned human who stood an impressive two meters in height. What is the ref, for his height. Cylka  -talk- 01:19, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * There seem to be some linking issues throughout the article. As I understand it, in articles each linkable subject should have one link each in the intro, main body, image caption, and infobox.
 * 50) **I've taken care of the excessive linking.
 * 51) *Its looking good, but still needs a little work. Cylka  -talk- 23:40, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * There are some POV and speculation issues throughout the article. As soon as everyone's objections have been satisfied, I'll sign off on the article as well. Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 16:41, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) The sources in the "Sources" section are not listed in the order of their release --Jinzler 22:53, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:57, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) Time for Darth Cav to wade in:
 * 56) * Intro - mention should be made of his taking advantage of the Jedi Strike Team's actions, and Revan's survival, although he believed him to be dead.
 * 57) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * Intro - It would not be long until the new Dark Lord of the Sith was proven wrong. Proven wrong about what?
 * 59) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * Jedi Padawan - Is there an article for Malak's village on Quelli? If so, it should be linked to.
 * 61) *There is no such article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) **I've created a redlink for this, since it deserves an article. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 17:54, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * Jedi Padawan - According to Deesra Luur Jada, a Twi'lek Jedi, Alek was trained at the Jedi Enclave located on Dantooine. If this is true, then there is no need for this statement to be quantified by Jada's statement. It should just read that he was trained on Dantooine.
 * 64) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * Captured at Flashpoint - Context is need on the Last Resort and her crew upon first mention.
 * 66) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - What is an exogorth? Context please.
 * 68) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - Context is need on who Karath is upon first mention, and why he is at the meeting.
 * 70) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - Camper should be introduced earlier in the bio (around the mention of the Last Resort in the previous section), and his involvement in the exogorth project should be made clear from the beginning.
 * 71) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - Earlier, Zayne Carrick had boarded the Legacy with Admiral Karath, Carth Onasi, and Dallan Morvis after they had escaped on the Deadweight, Onasi's ship, from Karath's command ship when the Mandalorians boarded it after the devastating events of the battle at Serroco. Run on sentence. Consider breaking up and revising.
 * 72) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - When Carrick, who was dressed in Rohlan's spare armor that had been given to him earlier by Mandalore, started a diversion - who was the armor given to? Did Mandalore give it to Rohlan or Carrick? Its a little unclear.
 * 74) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - Context is needed on who the Moomo brothers are.
 * 76) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) * Adasca's plot and a return to Taris - Is there an article for the Mandalorian invasion of Taris? If so, it needs to be linked to.
 * 78) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) * Against the Jedi Covenant - Context on who Shel Jelavan is upon first mention.
 * 80) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * The final battles - You mention Malak's rapid promotion through the Republic ranks twice.
 * 82) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) * In search of the Star Forge - Context on who the Rakata/ Infinite Empire are.
 * 84) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * Betraying the Master - Are there articles that can be linked to for the Jedi strike team, and their assault on Revan's flagship?
 * 86) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * The Search for Bastila - Although his stratagems and tactics centered around brute force, and were, as the droid G0-T0 would tell the Jedi Exile many years later, "painfully obvious," I don't think this needs to include references to G0-T0 or the Exile since they are not connected to Malak. Plus, it is opinion from one character rather than fact.
 * 88) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * The Search for Bastila - Who are Bastila's rescuers? Reference should be made, especially as one of them is Revan. This information should be included before Malak's discovery of Revan's survival.
 * 90) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * The Search for Bastila - Did Nord actually know that one of Bastila's rescuers was Revan?
 * 92) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) * The Search for Bastila - Mention should be made that Malak took Jedi prisoners during his attack on Dantooine for later use on the Star Forge.
 * 94) * The Star Forge - Some of the information on the Forge's construction process should be included earlier on, when the Star Forge is first introduced, to better explain how Revan and Malak controlled a vast armada.
 * 95) * The Star Forge - Context on how the Republic found the Star Forge is needed. Also, a link to the battle is needed.
 * 96) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * Legacy - Context needed for G0-T0 and Mical.
 * 98) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * Legacy - Malak caused, in comparison to his master's thought-out goals, would forever paint Malak as a tyrannical monster who, despite all his attempts to gain absolute power, was ultimately inferior in every aspect compared to Revan. This is bordering on NPOV in my opinion, especially the "ultimate inferior" part.
 * 100) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) * Years needed to be sourced in the succession box.
 * 102) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) * Check the entire article for instances of first names being used in place of surnames - surnames should be used for formality. I understand the possible reason for not using Alek's surname, and I hold no real objection to it so it could remain as such, but others may disagree on that one. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:04, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) *Addressed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:23, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) Muuuuuurgh:
 * 106) * The claim that Malak can be transformed into a Twi'lek dancer at the end of Knights of the Old Republic should be a bit more detailed--exactly how might a player go about the task of doing so? Wookieepedia is not a gaming site, however, I feel that a description is worth including for the purposes of informing readers who would like to verify this claim. I imagine that describing the process might be disruptive to the rest of the BTS section, so its probably best to keep the description of the process confined to the references section.
 * 107) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:46, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 108) * Although I appreciate that a page number was given, it should be specified which article in Star Wars Insider 100 was the basis for the first paragraph of "The final battles" section, as well as the statement that Darth Bandon's "quest for power had set him apart from his fellow students" in "The search for Bastila" section.
 * 109) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:46, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) * Related to the previous objection, the as-of-yet unidentified article from Star Wars Insider 100 should be included in the Sources section.
 * 111) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:46, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) * The claim that Malak was a Jedi Guardian is sourced only to the Wizards website and does not specify where on that website one can find this information. --Muuuuuurgh 08:55, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:46, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) The very beginning needs a bit of work. You shouldn't start by calling him Alek Sqwhatever, but just Alek. There's no reason to doubt Alek's comments - "He claimed that people from Quelii..." - so they should be taken as fact. Mention his nickname after the first sentence, too. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:15, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 115) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:15, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) Cylka, part deux:
 * 117) * There are numerous instances of ref notes written before punctuation. Please go through the article and correct this. The same goes for quotation marks. Commas and periods always go inside quotation marks.
 * 118) *Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:43, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 119) * Again there are problems of over/underlinking. Please read through the article carefully. Make sure you avoid creating new issues when fixing objections.
 * 120) * In the Legacy section, I'm not sure you can say that Mical is a former Jedi, since he is re-trained by the Exile.
 * 121) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:40, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 122) * There still are some POV issues, such as with the word "very." Please go through again.
 * 123) * The third paragraph in the P/T is bordering on copyright infringement of the CG, so I would suggest rewriting it a bit more.
 * 124) *I think I took care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:02, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) * and could also use it to cancel a Force-user's active powers - In the P/A, this sounds a bit too much like game mechanics, and should be rewritten. Also you are citing many of his Force powers to the game, but we aren't sure exactly of all of the powers he had since we couldn't play his character and see his statistics. Please double check that.
 * 126) *When I play the game, he usually activates the "Force Immunity" power after drawing his lightsaber. Also, I'm not entirely sure how I could write that without sounding like it's game mechanics, since he did use that power both in-game and according to the CG. And of course, if you prolong the duel, he'll use such powers as Force leap, Force speed, Force Suppression, though I think he uses the Breach power as well.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:40, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) *Just a little bit more, Kasra. It's almost done. :-) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:54, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Took care of the quotes in the middle of sections, took out the bullets in BTS, him being part of the OR era is already sourced, will work on sourcing the language bases.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:53, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I think someone should take notice of the hideous amount of Point of View violations in the "Legacy" section. -MPK 18:25, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Except that what's in that section reflects character's opinions of Malak, such as G0-T0, Canderous Ordo, and Mical.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:41, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Then you need to include that it was their reflections. As it stands, it's POV, but with some tweaking, it could be fixed without changing the meaning of the sentences. DC 16:08, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Tweaked it a bit, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:05, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I believe it is fine now. —Tommy [[Image:Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 17:06, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Darth Nihilus

 * Nominated by:  NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:25, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Thanks to Cylka for the inspiration and information. Lets make this the first Restored GA!

(2 ACs/7 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:21, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:54, 4 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 05:22, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 07:00, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) A good romp with the FAN would do this some real justice, methinks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:15, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:43, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kilson likes PIE Nice job, very well done. 16:50, 06 February, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Dark Lord Trayus 03:27, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  22:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Object style="color: #000000;">Talk  08:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) The BtS is a bit all over the place. Please subsection it as appropriate and break it into proper paragraphs; it looks a bit triviaish at the moment. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:23, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I think I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:13, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka:
 * 4) * The Trayus Academy kept on producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders, who spread death and the following of the dark side like a disease. What does "the following of the dark side" mean? Please clarify.
 * 5) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * As it neared the Miraluka colonized world Katarr, Nihilus spoke, obliterating Katarr How did him speaking obliterate Katarr? Please clarify. Maybe you could add in something to the effect that the Miraluka could hear him through the Force and that his "voice" in the Force was his hunger, therefore hearing him=death.
 * 7) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * [...]the Dark Lord seemed too strong to defeat, then the Exile learned of his weakness and turned the tide. Visas also entered into a trance and tried to disrupt the link with her former Master, undermining his connection to the Force. This makes it sound like they both were in a trance, although I'm pretty sure only Visas was in a trance. Please reword.
 * 9) **And rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose, all seeking to take what little remained of Revan's Sith Empire. However, Nihilus and Sion were now the leaders of the Sith. These statements appear to contradict each other. I know what you mean, but others may not. Reword to say that they became the leaders because they got rid of Traya.
 * 11) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Give an actual date for the conclave and destruction of Katarr. I actually found a definitive source for the date; I changed all the articles to reflect this. You can find it there. * Cylka *  11:21, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Good job with adding a lot of info to the article. * Cylka *  02:40, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * it killed all but a few of those who were crushed on the planet's surface. This does not make sense. It sounds as if it killed almost everyone, and then the survivors were crushed.
 * 18) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Using the Force, he was able to keep his robes, armor and mask together, giving him some form, allowing him to use his Force powers and wield a lightsaber, but apart from that he had no longer a physical form and he became simple primitive intention. Break this sentence up.
 * 20) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * I would suggest integrating the third paragraph of 'Encounter with Visas Marr' with the second. This is so you can say that the conclave was the original reason why Nihilus had come to the planet. You should probably add the intentional info leak by Atris and that it was meant to be a trap for him. I'll take a look at the rest in a few hours. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:11, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **Merged NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * The 'Downfall' section is out of chronology. Please put it into the correct order of events.
 * 24) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Sorry about not getting this stuff last night (I had a blackout while writing), but the second and third paragraphs are still not in order. For example, the disturbance in the Force, Visas' joining the Exile, and the end of the Onderon Civil War all occurred after the destruction of the mining facility. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:01, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *** I'm not seeing where it is out of chronology. Could you please quote where you see it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:47, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ****Nevermind, reading at 3:30AM does things to the mind. I think I fixed it.
 * 28) * The hunger he possessed was a means of severing connections between life, the Force, and feeding upon the death it caused the closer he came to it. Reword. Also, what was he coming closer to? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **No clue there. Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:31, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Chack Attack:
 * 31) * "Under the tutelage of Darth Traya he became one of the three Dark Lords of the Sith at the time, the Sith Triumvirate, under the title of the Lord of Hunger, the others being Traya and Darth Sion." This is phrased a bit poorly.
 * 32) **Rephrased? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * "An emptiness swept over his body and it soon began hungering. Without meaning to, he drained the life of someone; it was an unpleasant experience, but for a brief moment the hunger ceased, only to come back more relentless than before." This should also be rephrased.
 * 34) **I'm not sure of how I could rephrase it and people in the IRC think its fine. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:29, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Right, don't worry about it then.
 * 36) * "his voice a great hunger heard" Can you hear hunger? :P Seriosuly, I know what you're trying to say, but it could written better here.
 * 37) **Got it NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:42, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "The situation on Onderon got out of hand" Too colloquial.
 * 39) **A two birds with one stone fix. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:43, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "learned of his weakness" What was his weakness?
 * 41) **Got it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *Very good job. I'd suggest taking this to FA when it passes GA (only if you feel you're ready, of course).  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) Please rework the beginning a little bit. We shouldn't be saying things like "all that is known of Nihilus' beginning" because this is out-of-universe. You could alter that to reflect the knowledge of the characters in-universe. You should also contextify/link the Exile upon her first mention in the bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:31, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *I already linked/contextified her in the Downfall section. "The Jedi Exile[link] returned to Republic space after being banished from the Jedi Order for following Revan to the Mandalorian Wars. She had begun to reestablish her connection to the Force which was severed during the Battle of Malachor V."
 * 45) **But that occurs after "when the Exile gave the order to activate the Mass Shadow Generator," which is her first mention. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:11, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *Did I fix the lead-in right? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) Toprawa:
 * 49) * Sourcing needs some serious clean up before I'm going to let this thing pass, and I really have no qualms about expressing my dissatisfaction with the level of review by our AC members here. Please eliminate the unnecessary redundant sourcing in the biography. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:43, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) **I disagree with you on the sourcing; but for the sake of the nom, I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***I'm not sure what there is to disagree about it. An article is either sourced correctly, or it isn't, and this one wasn't. Fortunately, you have corrected this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:22, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) Pasta Bowl; part the first&hellip;
 * 53) * More aesthetic than anything else, but there is no image of Nihilus from TSL in the article. None. Surely a screen shot can be taken. One of Nihilus and Marr together would be extremely beneficial to readers since their paths are so intertwined.
 * 54) **I will work on getting another but the image at the end of the Biography is from TSL. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ***A shot of Visas before Nihilus has been added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) *Be careful with the flow in the Introduction. It is choppy with a lot of short finite sentences. I tried to clean it up, but it needs some work in the prose to make it smooth and fluid.
 * 57) **Done? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***I see what you did. Okay, a few things.
 * 59) **** "After losing everything&hellip; after surviving&hellip;" Both 'afters' make it awkward.
 * 60) *****Never mind. I fixed this one myself. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ****"he turned to the dark side&hellip;" Was he a Jedi? Otherwise, turning would imply that.
 * 62) *****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:36, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) **** "The apprentices became more and more powerful." This seems just dropped in. There is nothing before that states an apprenticeship aside from "tutelage." The triumvirate, however, implies equality rather than a Master-Apprentice relationship. Additionally, it is so disconnected from the discussion of Nihilus and Traya that no real link can be formed. This connection and the associated wording needs to be reworked and rewritten. It needs to be as clear as possible for the reader to know when he was an apprentice, when he was an equal, and when he overpowered his former master.
 * 64) ***** This is only partially cleaned up. "&hellip;encase his spirit within his mask and armor. The apprentices grew in strength during their training; eventually overpowering and exiled their Master, severing her ties to the Force." Note the disjunction between the sentences. It is also disjunctive at the semicolon, which is also improperly used, here. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) ******I think I got it this time. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:24, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) **** Similarly, the sentences about his "hunger" and experiences with the mass shadow generator should be mentioned with the Malachor remarks.
 * 67) *****Addressed. NaruHina  <span
 * 1) ****** Okay, so this one was moved, but the connectivity was breached. "&hellip;the affliction began to ravage his body. He then came under the apprenticeship&hellip;" Awkward transition, please rectify. Perhaps mention him being "found" might help. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *******I think I smoothed it out. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) * I split the first paragraph of the biography. Make certain the reference at the split point is still correct.
 * 4) **They are still correct. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * The second paragraph of the biography merely states that he was trained by Traya, but after it is stated that he was "christened" as a Sith Lord. Firstly, was he ever apprenticed by Traya? The Intro and infobox states that he was in a Master-Apprentice relationship, but this paragraph does not. Secondly, was he instantaneously found and then "christened" as a Sith Lord? There is a strong disconnect along the time line. Please clarify this paragraph and expand.
 * 6) **Addressed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Better, but a couple of things:
 * 8) **** "He followed her there, to her school on Malachor, and learned the ways of the Sith." Isn't he already on Malachor, or is that not known?
 * 9) *****I fixed this one, too. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **** "Time passed and he was eventually a newly christened&hellip;" the eventually...newly part that throws me off. Also, "christened" is an awkward word for being given a title; can that be reworked while we are at it? Or, is that a canon word that I am not remembering?
 * 11) ***** Much better here; although, instances of "christened" still exist in the article. Additionally, I do not believe the phrase "Nihilus was named a Sith Lord during this conflict&hellip;" comes from information within TSL. Is there someplace else, or am I missing something? I could be incorrect. Please double check for me. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I'm not seeing any, though it is early in the morning, but christened is a canon word for it. Its in the KotOR CG. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **** "Nihilus and Sion each honed different teachings of the dark side of the Force&hellip;" Different teachings or aspects/skills/etc.? Just checking.
 * 14) *****Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "His power grew beyond what Traya could match and he allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge her, defeating the woman." Where? When? Expand. It is a significant character-development point in TSL.
 * 16) **Expanded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *** Quickie: "Nihilus allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge Traya, defeating the woman at the center of her own Academy in the very heart of Malachor V itself." What was the challenge? How did he defeat her?
 * 18) ****Addressed and as to the second part, thats in there, Sion beat her to a bloody pulp and they sapped her Force energy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *****Official objection struck, but I kind of would like to see this done up a little more if you have time. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * "With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose&hellip;" Wait&hellip; where did these beings come from? Although not stated, it is implied earlier in the article that the Triumvirate was alone. Clarify.
 * 21) **Clarified. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *** Sorry, but I do not believe it is. The paragraph prior to this might be a place to mention that the Sith Empire had fallen and various factions and followers existed. It is your choice, but all of a sudden a three-being group is now a broken and tattered empire as it reads now.
 * 23) ****Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *****Better, but there are two things another thing with this:
 * 25) ****** "Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith, those who followed Traya but now wanted her power for themselves, and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." The last half of this&mdash;from "those," onward&mdash;makes little sense. First off, the sentence needs to be broken up, it is a long run-on. Next, who are "those?" Are they Nihilus and Sion? Are they other Sith minions who did Traya's bidding? Clarify. In fact, please rework this entire sentence. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *******Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ****** Break up the paragraph at "With Traya gone&hellip;" &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." Did they work together directly, or indirectly? Their goals in eliminating the Jedi Order seem to have been different.
 * 30) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Better.
 * 32) * The subheading "Dark Lord of the Sith" seems out of place considering that his "christening" as such is mentioned paragraphs before and already expanded upon. Change divisions or the subheading title.
 * 33) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:20, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Much, much better.
 * 35) * "With Traya overthrown, Nihilus had moved into a position of power. The Trayus Academy continued producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders." Disjunctive. What is the relationship between Nihilus and the Academy? If nothing, the first sentence is an unnecessary redundancy, and the next couple need to be reworked into Nihilus's scheme to show a connection.
 * 36) **Contextified that he attended the academy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:56, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) *** Okay, but that does not help in this instance. That is too far away to be the explanation. It is a good setup for an explanation, however. Did Nihilus or Sion officially take over the Academy? How was it run? What happened? Otherwise, this is irrelevant information for this location in the article.
 * 38) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ***** Better. Again, however, please double check the source. I do not believe all that information is in TSL. In fact, this one I am pretty certain of. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ******Fixed for this one. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *******Striking it for now to clear this round of objections. I will re-mention it in the next round. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * In conjunction with the above: "They spread death throughout the galaxy like a disease&hellip;" Is it described "like a disease" in TSL or the CG? If not, remove it; it borders on OR and is not NPoV.
 * 43) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Continuing the conjunction: "What they experienced first hand in his wake allowed them to become stronger near Force-sensitives, and feel their prey through the Force." This does not make sense. Reword, please.
 * 45) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) *** "&hellip;allowed them to become stronger near other Force-sensitives&hellip;" Contextualize or expand "stronger."
 * 47) *** "&hellip;and feel their targets through the Force across great distances." I think I understand what is being explained, but it is too cumbersome as it stands right now. I am not sure why, but I am having a difficult time with this clause.
 * 48) ****Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:56, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * "His flagship, the Ravager, roamed the borders of known space." Okay. And? This sentence, aside from beginning a paragraph with a pronoun, has no relation to the paragraph it is heading. Connect and remove the pronoun or eliminate altogether. The Ravager should probably be mentioned and sourced when he pulls ships from Malachor V.
 * 50) **Removed an fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:09, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * "Atris, a Jedi Master, organized a large gathering of Jedi on the Miraluka colony world Katarr. After organizing the event, she then leaked the location." I reworded it to flow better, but it needs to be stated why she leaked the event.
 * 52) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * "It overpowered them and obliterated the surface of Katarr&hellip;" What is "it?" His voice? His hunger?
 * 54) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * "Nihilus killed much of what remained of the Jedi Order&hellip;" So basically, no one was left? Make sure that the amount implied is actually stated in the sources.
 * 56) **I fixed it by putting the context of it at the beginning of that paragraph. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:29, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ***I will let it pass. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * "&hellip;including the renowned Jedi Zhar Lestin, Dorak and Vandar Tokare." "Renowned" is not a word I would use here. It is PoV-laden and should be tempered. Also, any other figures present that should be noted?
 * 59) **Fixed and no, there's not, its almost like the Golden Globes, and aside from that, I thought three would be a good number as to not disrupt the flow. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***Sorry, I don't follow. What does the Golden Globes have to do with the Conclave gathering? I don't follow.
 * 61) ****Its just a joke. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) *****Oh, sorry. As people say these days: "My bad." :) &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * "As he walked on the surface, Darth Nihilus found only a single living thing, an injured woman named Visas Marr." The wording of this implies that she happened to survive; although a couple sentences later states outright that she had been spared. Clarify this.
 * 64) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) *** In TSL, she remarks that she was spared. This should be addressed here.
 * 66) ****Fixed to say he didn't spare her but she survived and wanted to know why. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *****Great fix. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * Throughout the article, Visas Marr is referred to simply as "Visas." This is not a proper encyclopedic naming convention unless there are two with the same last name. I know she is referred to as Visas in TSL, but they are on a first name basis, just like talking to "Canderous," or "Atton," or anyone else. Please change these appearances.
 * 69) **I fixed all that I could find. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:19, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***I went through and fixed them. The BtS was riddled with them.
 * 71) * "&hellip;and carved out the flesh where her eyes would be had she been human." Well, she is not Human. This analogy seems a bit of a stretch. Please find another way to describe it using a Miraluka-based description rather than that of another species.
 * 72) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:30, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * "She eventually became his trusted sole apprentice; she even developed a powerful Force bond with her Master." Choppy, please reword, expand, and make more fluid.
 * 74) **Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:32, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) * Before I forget, the date in the infobox does not come from TSL, as no year is mentioned in the game. Please find a source. There are a few to chose from.
 * 76) **The NEC came through for once. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:28, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) *So far, I've read up to "Downfall," but I think I will stop there for now. Good luck.
 * 78) **I will resume after this part has been finished. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 06:35, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Still more to do in this part. A good copyedit might help, as well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 18:56, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) Pasta bowl, part the second:
 * 82) *There was still one outstanding objection from above. To make it easy, I'm reposting it here: The first paragraph of 1.2.1 (Encounter with Marr), I believe, does not all come from TSL. Please double check that for me.
 * 83) **I think that was said in TSL but I'm not 100% sure anymore. I've taken out the things I'm not sure of. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:28, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) *"At this point, Nihilus's next move&hellip;" What is "this" point? Contextify and clarify.
 * 85) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:22, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) *"The Jedi Exile returned to Republic space&hellip;" This paragraph needs to start with a transition phrase.
 * 87) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:22, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) *"In a turn of events, the Peragus Mining Facility was destroyed, restoration efforts throughout the Outer Rim were doomed, and secessionist movements on planets such as Onderon got out of hand." A few things:
 * 89) **"In a turn of events" is awkward here. It implies that Atris could no longer control or manipulate what was happening. While this may be the case, it does not seem to quite fit.
 * 90) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:52, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) **"&hellip; the Peragus Mining Facility was destroyed, restoration efforts throughout the Outer Rim were doomed, etc." The current set up indicates that the incident on Peragus was just one of the events, not a prompter of those events. Peragus prompted Telos. Please reword to clarify. Also, "doomed" is PoV.
 * 92) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:52, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) **"Restoration efforts" does not seem correct, to me. Telos was the only restoration effort mentioned in TSL, and it is the only one that is mentioned as active since it was a pilot program. If I am missing something, please clarify this. If not, please fix it, because it is a blanket statement that is considered OR.
 * 94) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:52, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) **Same thing for "secessionist movements." Also, "got out of hand" is PoV.
 * 96) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:29, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) *"When the Exile defeated Marr instead, the Miraluka began to question her conclusions of what her master once showed her and was swayed to serve the Exile against the slayer of her people." I already separated this from another sentence, but please break this up again so it is less of a run-on.
 * 98) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:52, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) *"Nihilus's plans for Onderon failed&hellip;" Ok, so we are back at Onderon now. Just from what I have read in this section, thus far, it needs to be organized better. We start at Onderon, then jump to the Exile in a disjunctive fashion, then reintroduce Nihilus backhandedly, then jump back to Onderon. Either all of the Onderon stuff should be together or the progression needs to be smoothed over substantially. While the first option pulls apart the chronology a bit, it could be very effective. The latter option allows for a preservation of the chronology, but will take some work to keep things flowing. Basically, the ideas should not come to an abrupt halt at the end of every paragraph. Sometimes there is no way around that, but, in this case, I do not believe it is necessary to have such abrupt changes.
 * 100) **I chose the former and I think it works well. 05:37, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) *"Nihilus's plans for Onderon failed when the Exile stopped the Onderon Civil War." She singlehandedly stopped the civil war? Maybe "intervened" would be better.
 * 102) **Changed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:37, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) *"When a detachment of Sith were dispatched to Iziz from the nearby moon of Dxun, they were still unaware of the presence of a base that Nihilus had established in Freedon Nadd's tomb; the Sith had stayed clear of Mandalorian patrols even though they were very close to the Mandalorian Outpost." A few things:
 * 104) **First, all of a sudden there are Sith on Dxun? What's Dxun have to do with it? What were those Sith there for? Contextify.
 * 105) ***Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) **Next, who is "they" (after Dxun)?
 * 107) ***Contextified NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 108) **"&hellip;the presence of a base&hellip;" Context now arrives, but it is too late. The paragraph at the beginning of Downfall, which describes Nihilus setting up his Onderon scheme is too short. The context should be there. It would greatly enhance that paragraph and allow for a just a short one-or-two word reference here to refresh our memory.
 * 109) ***Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) **Then, the semicolon is used wrongly here. It would be better to just cut the sentence.
 * 111) ***Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) **"The Sith had stayed clear of Mandalorian patrols&hellip;" Wait, there are Mandalorians, now? Context. It would be good to mention the presence of Mandos on Dxun when it talks about the Exile joining forces with them. After all, that is where the bargain was reached.
 * 113) ***Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) *"When Kreia recognized a greater threat than what seemed to be merely a staging base, the Exile took action against it." The part that does not quite make sense to me is "than what seemed to be merely a staging base." Please clarify this.
 * 115) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:04, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) *"Meanwhile, the Exile, Kreia, and a third companion headed to Iziz to support Queen Talia and keep Onderon in the Republic." I thought the third companion had to be Mandalore. I could be wrong on this, so please double check. Thanks.
 * 117) **No, Mandalore could be sent to Dxun as well, In fact, Kreia says its a good idea to take him there. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:01, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) *"There, Sith Lords and Dark Jedi had joined the separatists and were marching to the Iziz Royal Palace, accompanied by Sith wranglers and their huge beasts. Vaklu was stopped, and Colonel Tobin became part of Kreia's deception to draw out Darth Nihilus." Okay. A couple of things:
 * 119) **First, the two sentences are disjunctive. A lot is missing from here. "Valku was stopped" explains nothing. A sentence or two (plus a link) about the Second Battle of Onderon would be very useful here.
 * 120) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:54, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) **Then, expand slightly upon Kreia's plan to use Tobin as a pawn. (A lot of pawning and manipulating is happening at this time, and it would be beneficial to make certain the readers know who is manipulating who.)
 * 122) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:24, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) *"&hellip;she told Tobin that it was there that the Jedi were hiding." What's so special about Telos, then? Jedi were hiding all over the galaxy.
 * 124) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:24, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) *"When Nihilus and his fleet arrived near the planet, Republic Admiral Carth Onasi, aboard his flagship, the Sojourn, engaged them in conjunction a group of Mandalorians in the Battle of Telos IV." This needs to be reworded and contextified. Why were the Mandos there? Who allied with who? Anyone else present? Was the battle entirely in space? What role did the Exile have in setting it up? Kreia? etc.
 * 126) *"Realizing that he had been betrayed, Nihilus had no choice but to feed upon Telos anyway, or his hunger would have consumed him." Does he actually realize his betrayal, or is he more intent on feeding than anything else? Clarify.
 * 127) **Is this good? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:24, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 128) *"Nihilus's ship was assaulted and boarded by the Mandalorians, and the Mandalore accompanied both the Exile and Visas Marr on their fight to the bridge of the ship and to the final confrontation with Nihilus." First, was this part of the plan? A couple words of context would help. Next, this sentence is a run-on. Break it up, into at least two sentences.
 * 129) **Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:04, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) *"Twisted by the dark side from exposure to Nihilus's dark powers in the time since Kreia saved him, he agreed to help the Mandalorians detonate the charges after he realized that it would only be a matter of time until Onderon would meet the same fate as Telos if Nihilus was to succeed." Run-on.
 * 131) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:38, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 132) *"Before the final confrontation, Marr had a chance to visit her old meditation chamber, stopping to meditate for a moment and finally coming to terms with the destruction of her homeworld, forsaking vengeance and fully embracing the light side of the Force." Run-on.
 * 133) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:25, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 134) *"During the final showdown with Nihilus, the Exile, whose tie to the Force had previously been severed and whose leech-like nature was of the same nature as Nihilus's, could not be consumed by him, so when he tried, he exhausted himself and was made vulnerable." Run-on and very convoluted.
 * 135) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:56, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) *"They engaged in a quick fight, with the Dark Lord seemingly too strong to defeat, then the Exile learned of his aversion to her and turned the tide." Run-on.
 * 137) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:56, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) *"Marr entered a trance and tried to disrupt the link with her former Master, undermining his connection to the Force." This sentence does not quite make sense. I think you are referring to their Force bond, but I am not certain.
 * 139) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:14, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 140) *"The three of them managed to defeat him and escape the vessel's destruction, but before making for the orbital shuttle they used to board the ship, his mask was removed by Marr, who wanted to see the face of the one who had wounded her." Run-on. Also, do not use "managed" for this. It implies that it was an impossible upset and is passive.
 * 141) **Broken up. 06:14, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 142) *"The Sith lived on after the fall of the Sith Triumvirate." It would be beneficial to contextify this since Nihilus was not the only member of the Triumvirate.
 * 143) **Clairified. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:09, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 144) *"At some point during his life, Darth Nihilus created a holocron that eventually fell into the hands of Darth Krayt several millennia later after the Sith had reclaimed the galaxy for the first time since the fall of the Galactic Empire." Run-on.
 * 145) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:12, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 146) *In the sentence about the holocrons, it would be better to link directly to the holocron instead of the dark lords.
 * 147) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:41, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) *"The only response he received from Nihilus was a statement in the Sith Lord's peculiar language, which his comrades didn't bother to translate." Contraction-alert? Also, 'did not bother to' is too idiomatic for this type of writing.
 * 149) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:12, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) *So you know, I have broken a lot of run-on sentences up since reviewing began. Please be aware of this as you are writing and doing a copy edit. Also, there were a some spelling and minor grammar mistakes in some of the earlier corrections which have been fixed. Take your time with these objections and do not rush through them. It is better to take a little longer and to do the best job possible the first time. The article is on its way, with the biography now done with the first run through. It has a lot of promise, Naru, so do not be discouraged. At the same time, keep a watchful eye out for details such as lacking context or runon sentences. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 151) Remember you're not writing a summary of the game. Things like "Just before the Exile's return to Republic space, Nihilus allied himself with General Vaklu" and "When Nihilus and his fleet arrived near the planet, Republic Admiral Carth Onasi, aboard his flagship, the Sojourn" and "was healed by Kreia who told him that she was a Vakluist and instructed him to inform Nihilus of an active Jedi Academy on Telos IV" don't read like they're from Nihilus's bio. It should be like "Nihilus was informed of the message, and then took the Ravager to Telos." The penultimate paragraph in that section is an offender. It looks like a summary. "Before the final confrontation" - later events shouldn't be mentioned like that, unless it's the Battle of Yavin or somesuch. There's loads of extraneous information there - Visas visiting the chamber isn't relevant to Nihilus, and if it is, the article needs to convey that. "During the final showdown with Nihilus, the Exile's leech-like nature, due to her tie to the Force being cut at the end of the Battle of Malachor V, that was of the same nature as Nihilus's could not be consumed by him" could be clarified/broken up. Be careful when using pronouns; sometimes it's unclear who or what's being referred to. E.g. "When Nihilus and his fleet arrived near the planet" (last planet mentioned was Malachor, in previous sentence) and "Though he realized too late that there were no Force-sensitives in the Academy, his hunger drove him to still try to absorb Telos anyway or it would consume the Sith Lord" (last two people mentioned were Carth and Mandalore). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:16, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm horrible with BtS reviewing, so I won't do that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. 03:59, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Duel in the Chancellor's Office

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: RGAN #2

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:57, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11:51, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  —Tommy  [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 09:28, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:36, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  22:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Too many images. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:52, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yep. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:38, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin are not linked in the Prelude, they linked later instead. An article needs to be linked when it first appears in the main body. I've only noticed those three, but check the other links, I could've missed some.  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:54, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Aftermath section? DC 03:40, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *How in the world did I forget that? Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:27, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Could you start the article with: The Duel in the Chancellor's office was a lightsaber duel fought in the Chancellor's Suite in 19 BBY. The duel began when...? Otherwise you're missing time and event.  04:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:30, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) "A few rounds with Wookieepedia's resident Battlemaster:"
 * 11) *A tricky business, this writing of duel articles is. That being said,
 * 12) * I think the infamous   tag is in order here, since the novel and movie differ considerably with regards to how the contest transpired.
 * 13) **Agreed, sadly. Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Rectify the over/underlinking found throughout.
 * 15) * "All but Windu quickly fell to the Dark Lord of the Sith and the two fought a spectacular duel. Windu cornered Darth Sidious, kicking away his lightsaber, and held the blade to his neck as Skywalker arrived in the room." Spectacular? Seems a little POVish to me.
 * 16) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Skywalker told Windu not to kill him as it was not the Jedi way and that the courts should decide his fate. Windu knew he would hold sway in the courts and would never be convicted." Which him are you referring to here? Sounds like Skywalker is telling Mace not to kill Skywalker.
 * 18) **Addressed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "The electric currents flowing through Sidious disfigured his skin, making it almost reptilian in nature." I recall Palpatine specifically referring to his face as a mask, and that his true form had been revealed. This implies that if his face was "reptilian in nature," it was like that before the duel, and that the fight just exposed the truth.
 * 20) **Do you have a source for that? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *** Sure. In the novelization, Sidious says this: "And so the mask becomes the man[&hellip;]I shall miss the face of Palpatine, I think; but for our purpose, the face of Sidious will serve. Yes, it will serve." According to Sidious himself, he was wearing a "Palpatine" mask to cover his true face, which we see after the duel.
 * 22) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:10, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * I would remove the bit at the end of the intro about Palpatine initiating Order 66. The actual confrontation ends with Anakin becoming Vader.
 * 24) **Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***You removed too much. See the last part of the original objection. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ****Well, the actual duel ended when one of the combatants was killed. Anakin becoming Vader happened in the duels aftermath. Since the intro is a summary of the duel itself, should his be included? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *****Though it appears in the aftermath, it is a key aspect of the event, whereas the Order 66/death to Jedi bit was going a bit too far. If you look here, you'll notice that the events in the aftermath are briefed in the intro as well, even though that contest had already ended. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ******Readded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:31, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * I would also remove some parts of the intro, because some of them lean rather close to play-by-play action.
 * 30) **I'm not sure how to cut it down further while still completely summarizing the article.
 * 31) ***I concede. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * Anakin is the only Skywalker here, and he should be addressed as such, same deal with Master Windu.
 * 33) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:02, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * "This lightsaber duel was a focal point of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith as it explains how Darth Vader, an antagonist from the original trilogy, joined the Sith, and why Palpatine's face became deformed." I thought that Palpatine's deformities were the result of years of being physically ravaged by the dark side, and that his "masque" simply melted away.
 * 35) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:23, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *Manage these, and more may follow. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:27, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) Riposte:
 * 38) * "Windu cornered Darth Sidious, Palpatine's true name, as Skywalker arrived in the room." Palpatine was his true name; Sidious was his true identity.
 * 39) * The way the first paragraph of the intro is laid out leaves room for guessing how the combatants fought each other. Especially when you say Palpatine "unleashed himself in a violent fury."
 * 40) **Nice fix. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * After you make the reader aware that Palpatine is is truly Sidious, you should refer to him thenceforth as such.
 * 42) * "Windu raised his blade to strike and Skywalker panicked, cutting off Windu's sword arm with his lightsaber." Cutting off one's sword arm with a lightsaber has a specific designation. You do it in the body but not the intro.
 * 43) * "This confrontation was a key element of Palpatine's plot to destroy the Jedi Order, in which he manipulated Anakin Skywalker to do his bidding." Huh? Sorry but this is not a satisfactory beginning to an article of any sort. The firsty few sentences of the prelude need to be reworked. Also, when you speak of Skywalker's wife, though the mention is brief, her name should be used in conjunction.
 * 44) **Is this OK? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***Yes. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The first paragraph of "The duel" needs to be moved and added to the last paragragh of the "prelude" section.
 * 47) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "&hellip;effortlessly stabbed him in the stomach." Like the cutting off of one's weapon arm with a lightsaber, stabbing staight through has a designation.
 * 49) * I believe "the duel" section is a tad pbp.
 * 50) **Isn't it supposed to be? It is an article about a fight so I can't just say they attempt to arrest him, duel, die, etc. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:44, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***Trust me, I am feel the same as you do, having been in this very same position. Duel articles skirt on the fine line between pbp and sufficient detail, and it is our job to find a comfortable balance. I personally prefer more detail, but the general mood of the site is that we do all we can to avoid pbp as much as possible. See if there are some minor things you can trim, that you deem unnecessary. If you truly cannot, I'll give it a once-over, and strike. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 01:18, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) ****I've cut some though I higly doubt its enough. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:44, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) *****Very good with recognizing what I was saying, but I agree with you. With your permission, I can trim down in some areas a tad bit more than already done. Please advise if this is acceptable to you, or, we can meet in IRC sometime and iron out the rest together. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) ******Go ahead, I don't mind as long as it doesn't go below 250 words. :P NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:02, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) *******Heh, of course not. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 00:36, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * "The bolts flowed through Sidious, injuring him and deforming his face hideously." Reword since we've established that the lightning revealed the deformities instead of causing them.
 * 57) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:44, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * "His face contorted with the enormity of his decision, Windu raised his blade to deliver the killing blow, and Skywalker made his fateful decision." The contorting face bit is unnecessary, as is the fateful decision part. Make it less dramatic, please, as it comes across like the writer's own POV.
 * 59) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***A little better, I'll take it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 19:17, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * That should be about it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "Palpatine claimed the Jedi were in rebellion, while Windu declared the ultimate defeat of the Sith." The GJP was hardly a Jedi rebellion.
 * 63) **It actually links to a sub-section of the GJP page detailing Palpy's ruse and the "rebellion." NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:00, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ***I understand it now, though I do not really care for it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 00:36, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * "A brief instant after Windu's death, Skywalker realized that he had been tricked more than once. Not only did Palpatine fake his weakness, but he also cautiously admitted that cheating death was a power only his master achieved, thus admitting he did not actually know the secret to stopping death. Inwardly, Skywalker was shocked and enraged by the deception." Can you source this statement specifically? I didn't get that impression from the movie, and I'm having a time finding it the novel. If so, cool, but if not, that kinda borders OR, imho. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) **I didn't write that and I 'm not sure so I'll remove it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:00, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Cool beans.
 * 68) The twoconflicting is unnecessary; one if G-canon, one is not. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:00, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *For the sake of avoiding conflict, I have no problem with it being removed. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 19:17, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) **Alright, removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:27, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) From the Ataru-wielding desk of Atarumaster88
 * 72) * Should the title of a legend be in quotation marks or something? It's certainly a proper noun.
 * 73) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * The prelude is far too sketchy about Anakin's initial confrontation with Palps.
 * 75) **Is this better? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * "This is also the first and only time all four colors of lightsaber blades shown in the movies have been in the same scene together (red, blue, green and violet). " This is not self-sourcing. EDIT: Neither is the entire paragraph in which it appears.
 * 77) **It gives the names of every relevant source in the prose, Episodes III and VI as well as all 6 Star Wars movies in general. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ***Yes, but that doesn't make it self-sourcing. The movies never say that the duel was a focal point. I'd prefer to see some more specific references there to avoid any appearances of original research. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:34, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ****Reworded so it omits the ORish statement. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:46, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) *****I've also added in a slightly redundant ref which satisfies me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:36, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * "Mace brought the B team to arrest Palpatine" This is not a question. Please get the correct quote.
 * 82) **I don't know the quote or have that source so if you know it please fix it, if you don't I'll just remove it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) ***Reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:36, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * "The activation of the Jedi Masters' lightsabers was digitally confirmed by Imperial agents in the audio recording presented in the novelization." The paragraph that contains this sentence is out of place.
 * 85) ** Tommy fixed this. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:08, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) ***Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:08, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * So is the rest of the paragraph following this sentence: "However, the screenplay stated it was Windu&hellip;"
 * 88) * The first paragraph of "Difference between sources" is not self-sourcing, as it doesn't specifically refer to the movie by name. If you're going for the self-sourcing approach, please be a little more specific.
 * 89) **That was sourced manually. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:28, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * You are missing Databank sources.
 * 91) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:28, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) * Furthermore, I think, Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force is a source. Might be just, but still.
 * 93) **Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 15:24, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) *Furthermore, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) First of all: "The Duel in the Chancellor's Office was a lightsaber duel fought in the Supreme Chancellor's Suite in 19 BBY." – If this is a conjecturally-titled article, the title of the article should not appear so in the intro or anywhere else.  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:42, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) *Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:49, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) Toprawa:
 * 98) * Have you checked Vader: The Ultimate Guide for information? Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:55, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) **Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:38, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just to clairify, everything that does not have a ref tag in the Bts is self-sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:29, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I shall say once again and for the final time, let no man, woman, or child ever be subjected to this article again.

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:20, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good. 12:54, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) It was fun to play it in the games, and now it's fun to read it. Kilson 6:04, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) I know, I put you through a lot here. ;-) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:37, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:44, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  22:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I'm a bit worried about the sourcing in this article. For example the last paragraph in the "Operation: Nightfall" section is almost all sourced to the Courtship of Princess Leia, which is obviously not right. Everything needs to be sourced to the source it came from. The Jerec stuff has nothing to do with Operation: Nightfall, that didn't happen until he returned from the Unknown Regions some time later. Bene and Whie are mentioned in the penultimate paragraph in the said section and it's all sourced to the RotS game, but according to their articles neither of them appear in the game, so that needs to be checked out. "grandfather's (Anakin Skywalker)" reads awkwardly. I'd try "the actions of Anakin Skywalker, his grandfather" or somesuch. In the "Jedi Casualties," why are the Jedi listed by their rank in the GAR and not their Jedi rank? They didn't die in their capacity as commanders so it's not relevant, and the legitimacy of those ranks at that time has certainly to be in question. Nothing from Ahakista Gambit? Source list needs to be ordered by release date. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:35, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've fixed Bene and Whie, (Anakin Skywalker), and Jerec. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:32, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've also fixed the source list and the rank issues. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Fixed the sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:22, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:07, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *I'm not sure the sentence about "some Jedi turning to the dark side" should stay, unless it definitely refers to during O:N and not just during the purge in general. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Gah, this thing keeps changing... Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) According to Jedi Twilight, Jax Pavan and Even Piell were present during the attack, but survived by fleeing the temple. You should mention this --Jinzler 21:16, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:40, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Cylka:
 * 11) * [...] the newly anointed Darth Vader and the clone troopers of the 501st Legion stormed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, initiating a massacre under the authority of Order 66. and The men of the 501st protected the Jedi library while the Jedi tried to destroy the knowledge contained there to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. - These two sentences appear to contridict each other. Were the 501st helping Vader or the Jedi?
 * 12) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:42, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * After the fighting, Vader set up a beacon that alerted Jedi all over the galaxy, the ones that had not already fallen to the clones in their ranks, that the Clone Wars were over and ordered them back to the temple, not knowing that it was a trap. - The not knowing that it was a trap part is a bit awkward. Please rewrite in such a way as to clearly show that it was a trap for the Jedi and not Vader.
 * 14) *Rewritten NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:53, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * As the Legion landed at the Temple, and as they marched, they were completely silent. - A little more context is needed here. Why was it relevant that the Legion was silent?
 * 16) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:05, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * There seem to be some linking issues. I've found that many links are missing. I've gone through and linked as much as I could, but I may have missed some, so please double check them.
 * 18) * Vader disabled the shield system and killed the Jedi; proceeding into one of the surrounding halls. - This is a bit confusing. What or who was proceeding into one of the surrounding halls?
 * 19) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:08, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Though Shaak Ti managed to secure a small number of her charges passage through the Undercity. - Is there something more that you wanted to add to this statement? If not, then it needs to be reworded.
 * 21) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:05, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Cleaning up most of the remaining Temple Security guards and Jedi Knights. - This sentence is somewhat arbitrary in relation to the previous statements. It needs to be connected to them in some way.
 * 23) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:53, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * As the Temple burned, Bail Organa landed on the landing platform of one of the Council Tower hangars to investigate the fire. - Some context is needed when Organa is first introduced. Specifically who he was and why he would be landing at the Temple.
 * 25) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:34, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * A bit of context is needed for Order 66 when it is first introduced.
 * 27) **Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:03, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Context is needed in regards to Padmé Amidala and why she would be traveling to Mustafar to confront Anakin.
 * 29) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:23, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * It is possible he was seen by a clone trooper. - What evidence/reasons are given for the possibility of Jacen being seen by a clone when he flow-walked?
 * 31) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:53, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Please take care of these objections and I'll look over the article once more. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 06:35, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) I don't think Fox can be counted as a commander of the battle. He is only a sergeant. He did order his men to stop firing on Bail, but it's not like he was in command of the entire battle. Kilson 11:40, 07 February 09 (UTC)
 * 34) *Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:53, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) You should add info from Dark Nest II: The Unseen Queen, which reveals that R2-D2 downloaded a recording of the battle, which was later watched by Luke Skywalker --Jinzler 21:18, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:54, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) Cylka's second look:
 * 38) * The introduction states that the 501st legion defended the Jedi Library.
 * 39) **Which they did. It also says they were defending it from Jedi. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:37, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***The men of the 501st protected the Jedi library while the Jedi tried to destroy the knowledge contained there to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. - This sentence is what I was referring to. It is a bit unclear as to who or what the 501 were defending the Library from.
 * 41) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:51, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * As the troopers dispersed throughout the Temple's vaulted halls, Vader began to eliminate the most powerful Jedi within. - Did Vader consciously target the most powerful Jedi first? Or was it random?
 * 43) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:52, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Nu had already sensed something suspicious - Is it specified what caused her to sense something suspicious?
 * 45) **No. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:52, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The last paragraph of the Operation: Knightfall section uses the word managed too often. Please reword this a bit.
 * 47) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:52, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * Fortunately an emergency session of congress was being held, reducing security at the Temple. - This sentence sounds a bit POVish. I believe it should be reworded a little.
 * 49) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:03, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * A bit more context is still needed for Amidala. Why would Kenobi decide to go to her specifically to ask about Skywalker's whereabouts? I know you mention later that Kenobi figured out Skywalker was the father of her baby, but more is needed here.
 * 51) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:03, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * Amidala got into her J-type star skiff and flew to Mustafar confront her husband, unaware that Kenobi had stowed away. Though Kenobi did not want to, he knew he had to face Darth Vader in order to bring the Sith threat to an end. - This sentence should be integrated into the previous paragraph. This fits in with what I was saying in my previous objection.
 * 53) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:03, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * As the order circulated to non-clone military forces - What order was this? Is it the order you describe a few sentences later, or a different order? Please clarify.
 * 55) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 18:29, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * The last paragraph of the Public and non-clone military response section use the words flee and/or fleeing too many times. Please change this.
 * 57) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 18:29, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * had stolen and downloaded a recording of this event at some point. - What is the event mentioned here? The one mentioned later in the paragraph? This needs to be clarified.
 * 59) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:48, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * These clones were included in LEGO Star Wars: The Video Game and in the compiliation game LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga as well as in the Episode III novel where they were aproached by Obi-Wan who was disguised as a hunchbacked old man and tried to pass off Yoda as a Jedi baby to get close enough to attack and all of the squad was dead within six seconds. - this sentence needs to be broken up a bit.
 * 61) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:48, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) *It's almost ready. :-) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:20, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) Third time's the charm:
 * 64) * Many Jedi were killed within minutes by their formerly loyal subordinates,[1] though some, like A'Sharad Hett,[7] Rahm Kota,[8] and T'ra Saa,[9] survived by rebuffing the clones, not being around them at the time, or a variety of other reasons. - This sentence reads a bit off. Maybe you could reword it in such a way as to indicate the specific reason each of these Jedi survived.
 * 65) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * ...dispatched her padawan to the lower levels of Coruscant with detailed maps.' - What is the significance of these maps?
 * 67) **Added NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * Upon arrival, the two Jedi ambushed a squad of clone troopers of the 501st Legion on sentry duty. An emergency session of congress was being held, reducing security personnel numbers at the Temple, however. More clones ambushed Kenobi... - These first few sentences need to be integrated with each other a bit more. As it stands, the beginning of this paragraph is somewhat fragmented.
 * 69) **Reworded NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) *Despite what he said about him, Amidala refused to tell him where Skywalker went and left, figuring out that the father of her unborn child was Skywalker - this sentence is a bit confusing. You need to specify a bit more who was who.
 * 71) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) * Please check the linking again, as I found some issues. I tried to correct them where I could, but I'm not sure I found them all. Also, please check your use of commas. I found that they were being used too often.
 * 73) **Fixed what I've seen NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * This isn't as much an objection, as it is a suggestion. I believe that one last image, if available, could be placed in the Bts.
 * 75) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) *You really are almost done! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:33, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) From some guy who's not even on the AC, but is curious nonetheless
 * 78) * It's got several alternate titles: I know that we tend to invent titles for events (usually "Battle of X" or "Duel on Y"), and we don't usually put footnotes in the introduction, but the use of several bolded titles without a Conjecture tag implies that all of these names appear in some source or other. Is it possible or desirable to source those names? &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 23:40, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) **Or, you could remove all but one canonical title. That works too. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 12:27, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) ***Well, I tried to find sources for all those names but after looking through all those books, I found that the event is not actually named in most of them as any of those.; It is merely refered to as "when the Temple fell" or some sort. Not an actuall designation of the event. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 18:45, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) *I'd suggest this for the FAN page, based simply on its length and scope. (That's a comment, not an objection.) &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 23:40, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) Chack Attack:
 * 83) * "After assisting in the death of Mace Windu and submitting to Palpatine's teachings..." This starts off way too suddenly.
 * 84) **How's this? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:38, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * Same with Prelude.
 * 86) **That is the start of the Prelude. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:38, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * Try to mention the date in the intro and beginning of the body.
 * 88) * I thought Jax was a Knight, not a Padawan.
 * 89) **Well, Jax Pavan Prime was a Knight, yes. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * A bunch of your refs are not italicized. Go through and fix that.
 * 91) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) *That's all I got. It's just about ready to pass GAN.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:20, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments

HK-47

 * Nominated by: &  NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:49, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Everyone's favorite assassin droid!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  22:43, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Object DC 02:14, 5 February 2009 (UTC) Comments
 * 1) DC's Preliminaries
 * 2) * Ref'ing in intro is a big no-no.
 * 3) * POVity and OR everywhere.
 * 4) *Have fun. DC 23:55, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Oops, can't believe I missed the intro refs. Anyway, I've taken care of those now, but could you point out some specific instances of POV and OR? I tried to get rid of most of them, but I tend to have a hard time picking them out, thanks! 00:40, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Try to stay away from extremely, and things like that. A lot of your POV/OR is like that, trying to explain just how bloodthirsty he was, but you are exaggerating it too much. Also, in the P&T, make sure you say it was HK-47's POV or another character's POV, or it violates the rule. DC 00:50, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Oh, one more thing, no linking in quotes. DC 00:51, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **I think I've cleaned up most of the POV/OR issues and addressed your other objections.
 * 9) *** Meh, there still is some POV, though you did a great job of removing most of it. Here's the last of them:
 * 10) ****Avoid massive and devastating in the intro.
 * 11) ****Several odd quirks in P&T, avoid the word odd, and rewrite the sentence.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) ***You're gonna have lots of fun with the full review comes, this was just the preliminary stuff :P
 * 14) **Well, I knew cleaning up after the anons wasn't going to be easy. Have at it! :D
 * 1) Nayayen says Nay
 * 2) * I'm fairly sure there could be more links. As a rule of thumb I go by: a link is repeated in the infobox, intro, image captions and the main article.
 * 3) **I added a few more links and I think the amount is sufficient now.
 * 4) ***I've added in a few more on top of those that you put in. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  22:43, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * As DC mentioned, POV is oozing from this article.
 * 6) **It all looks clean to me now. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  19:43, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * The Back with Revan sub-section could do with some expansion.
 * 8) **Expanded.
 * 9) * In the Jedi Exile sub-section there is mention of the HK Factory. This should be removed as it is cut content, it is in the Bts already so half your work is already done.
 * 10) **Cheers Mauser, I wasn't aware of that. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  14:02, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * Any quote for the Jedi Exile section?
 * 12) **Done!
 * 13) **Suggestion: Address these objections meatbag and I will support. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  18:34, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Cylka:
 * 15) *Some more context is needed for Revan when he is first introduced. This needs to include context for Malachor V, the final battle there and the Mandalorian Wars, in addition to his betrayal of the Order.
 * 16) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:41, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *More information is needed about HK's time with Revan. HK has a lot of dialog with the Exile concerning his "early years."
 * 18) *More explanation is needed about the droid factory found on Telos.
 * 19) *A bit more is needed explaining HK's first mission to Mandalorian space and the capture of Revan, and Revan's subsequent memory wipe by the Jedi Council.
 * 20) *In the section from master to master, the paragraphs are a bit too short. Try to link them together a bit more.
 * 21) **Is this good? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:30, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *There is quite a bit of detail missing from HK's reunion with Revan and the mission at the Sand People enclave. This needs to be expanded.
 * 23) *Again, the section involving HK's travels with the Jedi Exile are bare bones. There is much more information to be added, especially concerning HK's dealings with G0-T0 and his final showdown on Malachor V.
 * 24) *The paragraphs in the Mustafar section are a bit too short, and they could probably be condensed a bit more.
 * 25) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 18:28, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *The P&T still has some POV issues. I believe that it would be best to describe him from the point of view of the companions, using their opinions of his personality. Furthermore, I think that any information regarding his protocol functions and the techniques he used to kill Jedi should go in the abilities section.
 * 27) **Fixed the Ability part. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:46, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *The abilities section could use a bit more detail esp concerning his techniques in fighting Jedi. There seems to be a bit of information missing from KotOR II missing.
 * 29) *In the Bts, there is information missing from KotOR II again. It would be worthwhile to explain a bit of the companion influence system, since it is only with a high influence that a player will be able to learn about HK's time with Revan and the techniques to kill Jedi. The Bts definitely needs some more expansion.
 * 30) *HK's voice actor needs to have a reference.
 * 31) ** Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:46, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *I think the Bts is sub-sectioned a bit too much, especially since those sub-sections themselves are only a paragraph each. I believe that the only sub-section of the Bts that is needed is the cut-content.
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) *There needs to be a bit more context in the cut content in regards to Nihilus and his attack on Telos.
 * 35) **Done.
 * 36) *There are some linking issues with some things double and triple linked, and other articles not linked at all. The article needs to be checked for this.
 * 37) *A screenshot of HK from his travels with the Exile would add a lot I think, since he does look much different and is actually quite upset by his exterior appearance.
 * 38) **Added NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 17:48, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *Overall, the article is in good shape when it comes to information from KotOR I and Galaxies, but there is a lot of information missing from KotOR II that needs to be added in. It's well on its way, though. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:56, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

A note to Nayayen: please remember that HK factory was canonize by the NEGTD and KOTORCG. Mauser 13:27, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Kal Brigger

 * Nominated by: DC 05:10, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First nom for a while, forgive me if it's a tad sloppy.

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support Object
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 00:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 05:29, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Objections addressed in IRC. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:39, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:52, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  22:15, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Grunny the finder of minor things
 * 2) * Please mention his species and gender in the intro and bio, and use his full name at the start of the bio.
 * 3) **Species and gender mentioned, and his full name is already used at the start. :)
 * 4) * Also mention that Dova was female in the bio, or simply Kal's sister.
 * 5) **Already mentioned that Dova was his sister, "along with his sister, Dova Brigger".
 * 6) *** I meant in the bio as well, I'd just prefer that the info wasn't only in the intro based on what I know of FA's and GA's.  Grunny  (Talk) 04:29, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Oh, whoops, my bad. Fixed. :) DC 19:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Kal and Dova, a pair of freelance traders, were siblings who worked in the enterprising business during their lives." The "during their lives" part is unnecessary.
 * 9) **Changed.
 * 10) * "However, the Briggers' business soon turned illegal, and began to carry different cargo. Instead of carrying consumer goods, the siblings carried munitions, light arms, and other weapons." This could be combined into one sentence.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * If the business started out legal, mention that in the intro.
 * 13) **I feel that it breaks up the comprehensiveness of the intro, and that it isn't important enough to make room, but that's just my opinion. :)
 * 14) ***Fair enough I wasn't bothered about it ;P.  Grunny  (Talk) 04:29, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "After Bammy Decree, a mechanic, came into ownership of the ship, he dated the history of the ship, in which he chronicled Kal's ownership of the ship until he had been killed." This should be reworded its a bit messy, and so many uses of "ship" is awkward.
 * 16) **Not awkward anymore hopefully.
 * 17) *Nice work DC :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 06:40, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thank you. :) DC 02:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Toprawa:
 * 20) * Am I correct to assume you mean spice mine here? "Kal was eaten alive by carnivorous insects in an abandoned space mine on [([Troiken]]."
 * 21) **Yep. Fixed.
 * 22) * Can you be more specific here on how they went bankrupt because of the TF? This is really vague, but try not to go off on a tangent here. Keep it concise: "which had gone bankrupt due to the Trade Federation"
 * 23) **Done.
 * 24) * This kind of doesn't make sense. Corellia is in the Core Worlds: "Successful in his business, Kal used the money they made toward upgrading the ship's hyperdrive, hoping for easier travel in the Corellian system, and eventually used the hyperdrive to enable travel to the Core Worlds."
 * 25) **All it said in the book was that they traveled to the Core Wrolds after upgrading their hyperdrive, but I reworded it, see if that works.
 * 26) * The article never introduces the fact that they dealt with slavers before this point. You should establish this previously: " Nirama hoped the duo would stop business with slavers"
 * 27) **Mentioned.
 * 28) * Ditto per the first objection: "and Kal was eaten alive by them, trapped in an abandoned space mine."
 * 29) **Fixed.
 * 30) * I would recommend removing this out of irrelevance. Just identify the line of succession. Individual accomplishments of others isn't necessary: ", who had been put into a coma when the Wayward Son, named the Stellar Envoy by Jadak, slammed his escape pod into another ship." Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:08, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **It's purely out of context, I don't think it would benefit the article by deleting it IMO.
 * 32) ***Given DC's extended absence, I've gone ahead and handled this objection myself. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:52, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review. DC 03:17, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * WE need to fix that spice mine first i think.user:ason trayon &mdash;Vote removed as per voting policy decision
 * 1) Is the famous bouny hunter known? --Eyrezer 22:05, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

HOB-147

 * Nominated by: Kilson likes PIE 18:09, 6 February 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is only my second GA nomination, so I hope that you can help me get HOB-107 to GA status.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:19, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * The intro is in need of expansion.
 * 3) * Completly unsourced infobox. Yes, I know it has only one source but there is no way Salvaged specified he was born in a certain year or on Kamino.
 * 4) * Context for Hurd Coyle.
 * 5) **Do not say that he was ferrying the younglings when Coyle is first introduced. All articles are to be written in a IU style and giving away all the details at the beginning is not IU. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Got rid of that part Kilson Likes PIE 18:57, 11 February 09 (UTC)
 * 7) * What kinds of battle droids did he send to check the ship?
 * 8) * "As a clone pilot, who were rarely trained in hand-to-hand fighting" This needs a source.
 * 9) **I got rid of that part Kilson likes PIE 18:57, 11 February 09 (UTC)
 * 10) * Order 66 needs context at its first mention.
 * 11) **Context given Kilson Likes PIE 18:57, 11 February 09 (UTC)
 * 12) * "147 wasn't only paralyzed for a moment by the second electro-dart." Then how long was he? Rephrase.
 * 13) * "meaning that HOB is the only "regular" clone trooper to not follow his orders" He is not a "regular" clone, he is a pilot. "He is the only one" is OR.
 * 14) **"is the only "normal" clone to not carry out Order 66 by choice." Is still blatant OR. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Satisfy these and I'll look again. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:25, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***OK, I did the corrections, but I do have a few arguements. True, we don't know for certain which years he was born. We do know, however, that all clone members of the GAR were cloned in Kamino. I just don't know which source said it. If you could tell me, or put it in yourself, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, Clone commanders, ARC troopers, and commandos were designed to to be more free thinking, the average clone trooper or pilot wasn't. That's what I ment by regular. Kilson likes PIE 21:15, 07 February 09 (UTC)
 * 17) ****I know what you meant by "regular" but he is still a pilot and has different training than that of a generic trooper. The OR is that you don't know he was the only "regular" trooper to refuse to use the Order 66 training. As well, there is not a way to dicern a comparison between his mind and that of an ARC that disobeyed Order 66 unless you put that in the text. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ****We do not know that every clone was cloned on the Kamino site. How does anyone know whether or not he was clone-birthed somewhere else? There is no way to source that he specifically was born on Kamino, though the bulk of the GAR was. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Yes I know it is an established fact that all troopers are that height, it needs to be sourced in the infobox. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:21, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Got it, that should be good, right? Kilson Likes PIE 4:42, February 8 (UTC)
 * 21) * We have a template for Databank entrys Template:DB. Use it in your sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * {{Ref| Is only for use in the infobox. Remove it for body sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Done Kilson likes PIE 18:49, 08 February 09 (UTC
 * 24) * Nowhere in the Databank article does it say /all/ clone troopers were clone-birthed on Kamino. It just says that their homeworld is Kamino. The term Homeworld can mean that they were born there or that they consider it home, you cannot assume which one is correct in this case. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:47, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 25) **Clone trooper databank entry, second paragraph, lines 2 to 4, "...each of the first generations of clone trooper was grown in the cloning facilities of Tipoca City, on the storm-drenched world of Kamino." Meaning the first 1.2 million clones of the GAR which fought during the Clone Wars, which HOB was apart of, were born on Kamino.Kilson 18:04, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 26) **How do you know he was part of the first 1.2 million clones? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ***That's all the Republic had during the Clone Wars, 1.2 million clones, 10,000 Jedi about, and any volunteers they could get. Kilson 22:11, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 28) ****Look, there were 3 million clones, the point is there is no way to tell when he was cloned or where. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:42, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Fine, here's a compromise, I'll put possibly next to Kamino in the Infobox. Is that good?" Kilson likes PIE 15:04, 09 February 09 (UTC)
 * 30) ******No. He's either definitely from Kamino or else we don't know, in which case we leave it black. -- AdmirableAckbar {{sup|(Talk)}} 20:12, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *******Fine dude, no Kamino. Kilson likes PIE 15:53, 09 February 09 (UTC)
 * 32) Everything needs to be sourced if the infobox is. And you need to ref properly, so you don't have six ref notes for the same thing. Biography should be subsectioned. You shouldn't list those Databank entries in sources unless the character is specifically mentioned in them. In your ref notes for the Databank, state the specific Databank entry the info is from. -- AdmirableAckbar {{sup|(Talk)}} 11:54, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *Got it, got it, double got it, got it, and got it Kilson 08:16, 08 February 09 {UTC)
 * 34) Naru's Shinigami Eye
 * 35) * "HOB was unusually strong and muscular" You still need to source that the average clone pilot was not strong or this is POV.
 * 36) * "During this time, he missed the Battle of Utapau and the death of General Grievous, along with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine declaring Order 66 and the extermination of the Jedi Order." Order 66 needs context here.
 * 37) *Thats about it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:58, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **Done dude. Kilson likes PIE 11:03, 15 February 09 (UTC)
 * 39) ***Not done. You still need the context saying something along the lines of "...Order 66, which told the clones to kill Jedi..." in the body to contextify it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:17, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ****OK, I got it now Kilson 15:09, 17 February 09 (UTC)
 * 41) Cavalier's torrent:
 * 42) *Intro - Shortly after Order 66, a measure that told the clones to eliminate any and all Jedi within the area, was issued and the Great Jedi Purge, the aftermath of Order 66 and an era of continued slaying of Jedi, began, he was rescued by the junk salvager Hurd Coyle. Choppy, run on sentence. Break up and rewrite, please.
 * 43) *Intro - Context on why the Empire is new is needed.
 * 44) *Order 66 needs a better description - mention needs to be made that it was a contingency order, and that it was enacted when the Jedi were perceived to have become treasonous and a threat to the Republic.
 * 45) *He was attacked by an unknown force - was it unknown to the reader as well? If not, an explanation of the method used should be added.
 * 46) *Did HOB really decide to disobey Order 66 after one question from Nia, or is there any more to their conversation?
 * 47) **The comic only shows this brief conversation, so I would have to assume that HOB was moved by only this. Given the fact that this is a childrens comic, I think that's was all that Nia needed to say to convice HOB. Kilson likes PIE 20:31, 24 Feburary 09 (UTC)
 * 48) *Any more quotes for section headings? - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]{{sup|( Squadron channel )}} 12:44, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Take a look now and see. If you want to reword the Order 66 context at all, feel free. I think that it was good enough to start with, but you can decide. Kilson likes PIE 20:33, 24 February 09 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) **I really hope this works Kilson Likes PIE 18:09, 6 February 09 (UTC)
 * 2) Images aren't propely categorized. Mauser 19:40, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *Look good to me. Kilson likes PIE 20:33, 24 February 09 (UTC)
 * 4) **You kidding? The main image alone has no categories at all. Mauser 16:03, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Take a look now Kilson Likes PIE 18:46, 25 February 09 (UTC)

Bettie-Bot VJ

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:53, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've caught the minor robot GA bug.

(4 ACs/3 Users/7 Total)
Support Object
 * 08:59, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:54, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:37, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 13:08, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:00, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Forgot about this.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:17, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) -- Darth tom [[Image:Imperial Emblem.svg|20px]] <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  22:15, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Small things:
 * 2) * "Betty-Bot was a female personality programmed BD-3000 luxury droid with a soothing voice who supported the Galactic Republic and the Grand Army of the Republic.." You should try to work info like this into the "Bio" section so that it's not all about the clones, but tells about the bot too.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:33, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I added what I could while still keeping the flow.
 * 4) Cylka:
 * 5) * I believe that you should add in that this was during the Clone Wars.
 * 6) * The show was hosted by Bettie-Bot VJ, a female personality programmed BD-3000 luxury droid, and prior to the Battle of the Rishi moon, an assault on the Rishi station by a group of new BX-series droid commandos that resulted in the deaths of all but two of the station's personnel, Bettie-Bot sent a shout out and dedicated her next song to the 224th Mud-Jumpers unit fighting on Mimban. - This sentence needs to be broken up. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 20:51, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * and occasionally chose to dedicate a song to a person or group - Where did you get occasionally?
 * 8) **I can't say that every song she played was dedicated but she does dedicate songs so I put that in. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:32, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***But you also can't broadly say "occasionally" like that. Just specify the instances. Graestan ( Talk ) 20:11, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****Specified. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:25, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * You don't need to list the clones because they really have no bearing on Betty
 * 12) **Removed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:44, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * soothing voice - This is a bit POVish.
 * 14) **Removed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:32, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * supported the Galactic Republic and the Grand Army of the Republic - This is speculation.
 * 16) **It is not, IMO. She is openly rooting for clone troopers during her program on the GAR broadcast, therefore she supports the GAR. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:32, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ***It's something that can go without saying. At any rate, they probably owned her, so it's not like she had a choice in the matter. Graestan ( Talk ) 20:11, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * one and only appearance as a hologram and played songs for anyone who tuned in - Both of these are pretty much OR . <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:22, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **This is her only appearance. HoloNet is viewable by anyone. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:32, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***The "one and only appearance" implies she will never be seen again or something. As the "anyone who tuned in" is worded, it sounds as though she does requests without any filter. Graestan ( Talk ) 20:11, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ****Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:17, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Toprawa:
 * 23) * This is Original Research. Just because she's a programmed radio personality doesn't mean she supports the Republic. She's a machine, so she's probably just doing her job, speaking preprogrammed material: "who supported the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars."
 * 24) * How do you know this? Did she say she takes requests? Original Research. "where she played songs for anyone who tuned in"
 * 25) * Again, Original Research. Nothing says she took requests for clone troopers. She could have just been saying one clone unit out of a randomized list as a cheap morale booster for all we know: "including clone troopers."
 * 26) * Comparing her eyes to insects is also kind of ORish. I would probably recommend just removing this: "She had compound eye-like photoreceptors." Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:08, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) You might want to include the origin of the nickname "Bettie-Bot" for BD-3000 droids in the Bts, which is explained in the databank for the BD-3000 luxury droid.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:59, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *Added NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:57, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Stuff:
 * 30) * Bio needs a bit of beefing up at its start. You should start off talking about Bettie-Bot before getting into her show. "Bettie-Bot VJ was..." etc. etc. etc. and the timeline and all that. Her model, manufacturer, etc. is also relevant to the bio. Then talk about the clone troopers listening to her show.
 * 31) **Fixed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:19, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Looks good, but I think the manufacturer could be mentioned too.
 * 33) ****Got it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:59, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * "The clones had to terminate the holoprojector broadcasting Bettie-Bot's show to defend against a Confederate assault on the Rishi moon" - which clones exactly are these? The ones on Mimban or the others?
 * 35) **Contextualized. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:19, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "Bettie-Bot VJ was voiced by Gwendoline Yeo during the character's holographic appearance in the 2009 Star Wars: The Clone Wars television series episode entitled "Rookies."" - reads awkwardly. Start by saying the character was created for Rookies, then who voiced her, etc.
 * 37) **Reworded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:20, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * The Mimban thing in the BtS doesn't seem particularly relevant to Bettie-Bot.
 * 39) **I specifically requested that be included. I think it's particularly relevant. There would be few other places to stick that in. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:00, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Mimban's BtS, perhaps? Would we list all the things from DE that, say, Luke gives pronunciations for in the audio drama on Luke's BtS? I'm open to its continued inclusion, but I'd need to be persuaded why it's relevant enough to Bettie-Bot for inclusion. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:10, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I've tried rewording to make it sound a little more relevant to Bettie-Bot, though I regret that this new tweak makes the sentence sound repetitive, IMO. This is especially relevant to Bettie-Bot because this is her only contribution to Star Wars canon, whereas Luke has done a million things, so you wouldn't add every little trivial detail to his BTS. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:19, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *****But it's a still a trivial detail. If it was reworded to say, "though the character appears in only a minor role..." and then went on to state her contribution to canon, I'd be more amenable to keeping it. I'll think about it, anyway. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:26, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ******It's no more trivial than the character is to begin with. If the Bettie-Bot character was to ever have a legacy, it would be that she provided the pronunciation for this planet. I think stating that she's a minor character is rather self-explanatory. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:30, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *******I reworded this a bit per your suggestion. See if this works for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:10, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * The last paragraph of the BtS needs a bit of work. For a start, it should be mentioned earlier on the in the BtS that the droid model came from RotS, and this paragraph should be edited more to reflect its relevance to Bettie.
 * 46) **Cut down on some wordiness and tweaked it around to tie in to this character directly. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:25, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I know it stemmed from my suggestion, but "most significant contribution" seems a little subjective. I think a slightly different wording could be better if someone can think of one while still making the same point. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:47, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * If it's a nickname, that should be noted in the article. Looking at the episode guide, it appears that a VJ is essentially a DJ, while a Bettie-Bot is a type of droid (or a nickname for one, at least). So, she's not "Bettie-Bot VJ" or "the Bettie-Bot VJ," but "a Bettie-Bot VJ," a VJ that is a Bettie-Bot. The article does not even hint at this, and is incorrect in places.
 * 49) **I took the episode guide to mean that that Bettie-Bot was at least her nickname, if not completely Bettie-Bot VJ, as the term Battie-Bot is only an on-set nickname for the model and is not canonical as a nickname for the whole series of droid. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:18, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) ***"The holographic VJ hosting the music broadcast is a BD-3000 droid, nicknamed a "Bettie Bot"" - unless I'm misreading this badly, this means that the droid model was nicknamed Bettie Bot, not this particular droid. So you could say she was "a Bettie-Bot" but not really "Bettie-Bot." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:24, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ****Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:31, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *****Looks good. A few little things left. As is, it reads like the droid model was responsible for the broadcasting, not the specific droid. Changing the opening word to "this" or else reworking the sentence would fix it (preferably the latter, though either works). Something in the intro also needs to be bolded. There's mention that she was a VJ anywhere in the article, which is necessary. Currently, there's info exclusive to the intro (the nickname thing). That could ideally be spelled out in the bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:47, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ******All of those are done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:40, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Is the fact that she's a BD-3000 really sourcable to Rookies? Also, is her name from Rookies, or just the episode guide?
 * 55) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:18, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) **Your article is decent, but looks a bit rushed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:56, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Toprawa, I appreciate your help but please stop, I can do this GAN by myself. NaruHina Talk  06:18, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Naru, no one is saying that you aren't capable of handling the GAN. Furthermore, an article is not exclusive property, and any member who wants to address objections on any article is welcome to do so. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 22:53, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * And I didn't say he can't but he should respect that I would like to do this by myself. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:44, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Korriban (Galactic Civil War)

 * Nominated by: Kilson Likes PIE 23:07, 10 Febbruary 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I really hope this works.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:17, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks okay. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:53, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Grunny's first look
 * 2) * Underlinking. I got a few of them, but just check to make sure you link once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 3) * In the intro and history, mention the Galactic Civil War.
 * 4) * Renegade Squadron needs context in their first mention in the History.
 * 5) * "Darth Sidious was due to make a pilgrimage to the Sith tomb world of Korriban. He believed that the Sith Lord was likely carrying at least some information concerning the Death Star. The Alliance planned to lure the Emperor into a trap and contain him while the stole the secret data about the Death Star." Need some context on Sidious, and it might be better to call him Palpatine consistently throughout the article instead of switching between them (I've changed them for you :)). When he is first mentioned use Emperor so that later in the paragraph people know who the Emperor is.
 * 6) * Also in the Prelude section there are many short sentences; it would be better to combine some of them into more complex sentences. Do the same throughout the article, ask me on my talk page if you want more info on this.
 * 7) * You mention in the intro that they were under the command of General Han Solo but you need to state this in the history.
 * 8) * "Col Serra then decided to carry out the second part of his plan. This he found almost too crazy and dangerous to do, but it had to be done." Reword second sentence.
 * 9) * "The Rebels were going to trap the Emperor inside the tomb by luring him inside and then blow the three entrances, trapping him and most of his men inside Sith burial chambers." The second part of this sentence is unnecessary as it just repeats info from the first.
 * 10) * "The last explosive was the difficult one. It was in the back entrance, located deep inside Imperial controlled main room." Merge these sentences.
 * 11) * "Renegade Squadron somehow got the explosives set either way." Reword this to something like: "Renegade Squadron were successful in setting the explosives."
 * 12) * Mention their success in capturing the holocron in the intro.
 * 13) *I'll re-review after you address these :).  Grunny  (Talk) 07:27, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Got it, and thanks for the corrections, hopefully it works now. Kilson Likes PIE 15:54, 11 February 09 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Good work addressing those objections :), I'll give a more thorough review soon.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:45, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Grunny's second look
 * 17) * In the game, Renegade Squadron is organized and led by General Han Solo, so was he in overall command in this battle? If so, he needs a mention at least in both the intro and the history, as well as being in the infobox.
 * 18) **I thought he would, but during the game Han doesn't say anything or appear anywhere during the level. Col Serra is the one who gives all the orders during the battle. I would have to assume that Han was busy with planning for the Battle of Endor and wasn't present at this battle. Kilson likes PIE 14:08, 15 February 09 (UTC)
 * 19) * Han Solo should also be mentioned in the context for Renegade Squadron as the founder.
 * 20) ** He needs to be mentioned in the context for Renegade Squadron in the "Prelude" as well.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 01:56, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Commander Col Serra, the second-in-command of Renegade Squadron". Second-in-command to who? Col Serra's article seems to indicate he was in command of the squadron, so please check.
 * 22) **Han was the one who asked Col to form Renegade Squadron becuase he was too busy to do it, but he was still technically the founder of the Squadron. During the game, Solo, when present, would give orders to Renegade Squadron too. It appears that only when Solo was not present at a battle, then Col Serra would by in complete control on Renegade Squadron. Kilson likes PIE 14:08, 15 February 09 (UTC)
 * 23) * "Col Serra then decided to carry out the second part of his plan, which he found almost too crazy and dangerous to do", were "too crazy and dangerous to do" Serra’s words in the game?
 * 24) **Sorry, just crazy. Kilson likes PIE 14:08, 15 February 09 (UTC)
 * 25) * Battle of Endor needs some context in the intro.
 * 26) * The second Death Star also needs context in the intro.
 * 27) ** The "Empire's new superweapon" and "second Death Star" need to be connected in some way in intro for clarity.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 01:56, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * The Battle of Endor also needs a bit more explanation in the "Aftermath" section, to show its importance.
 * 29) * In the intro, you also need to mention the Galactic Empire in relation to either Emperor Palpatine or the Galactic Civil War for context.
 * 30) * Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:41, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **I think it's good now Kilson Likes PIE 15:17, 19 February 09 (UTC)
 * 32) Third look
 * 33) * "The Battle of Korriban occurred during the Galactic Civil War, shortly before the Alliance attack on the Empire's new superweapon, the Second Death Star, at Endor, when the Rebel Alliance's elite fighting unit founded by General Han Solo, Renegade Squadron, attacked the Sith planet of Korriban." This sentence is long and confusing now, as it now says that at Endor "the Rebel Alliance's elite fighting unit founded by General Han Solo, Renegade Squadron, attacked the Sith planet of Korriban".
 * 34) * "There were two equally dangerous ways to get to the explosives; one was through the highly dangerous tombs, and the second was through the small cave system that led to Palpatine's landing site." Do they call it dangerous in the game? Otherwise this is POV.
 * 35) * "To lure the Emperor inside the tombs, Serra decided to destroy several ancient and valuable Sith artifacts scattered all around the main room of the tomb. Col ordered his men to destroy the artifacts, because it would anger the Sith Lord and cause him to come inside the tombs to save the priceless relics." This could really be combined into one sentence.
 * 36) * "When he returned, Col Serra quickly looked over the holocron..." When who returned? The trooper who captured the holocron or Col Serra? Currently it reads as Serra.
 * 37) *Its getting there. Make sure read over changes you make and compare them to previous objections to avoid creating more.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:52, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **How about now dude? Kilson likes PIE 22:03, 22 Feburuary 09 (UTC)
 * 39) Cylka:
 * 40) *entrance to the tombs and a small room near the academy. The Imperials still held the main entrance to the larger room which held all the valuable Sith artifacts and the small side room dug into the ground in which Palpatine had landed. - I'm a bit confused about these rooms. Where did these rooms come from? I know that they are near the tomb entrances, but what are they? Are they chambers of some sort? Plus, Palpatine landed into a room dug into the ground? Maybe it would be better to use a different word other than room, maybe enclosure or something similar.
 * 41) *Serra had already placed explosives at all three entrances - When had he done this? Before Palpatine arrived? Please specify.
 * 42) *they blew up the biggest and most valuable Sith artifact in the middle of the tomb - Do you know what this artifact was? If so, I believe it would be worthwhile to add in.
 * 43) *Mon Mothma needs a bit of context when she is introduced in the Aftermath section.
 * 44) *Renegade Squadron and Commander Serra soon would be ordered to Sullust to distract the Imperial fleet and bring them away from Endor. This would be a useless gesture, as the Empire wasn't fooled at all and sent the bounty hunter/assassin droid IG-88 to stop Renegade Squadron instead. This became known as the Second Battle of Sullust. - When did this take place? Before or after the Battle of Endor? The timeline is a bit unclear in this section, and someone who is unfamiliar with the events may be a bit confused.
 * 45) *Good work. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:30, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) **How about now dude...um dudet. Kilson Likes PIE 19:30, 09 March 09 (UTC)

Madel Wharen

 * Nominated by:DolukTalk 18:48, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt at a GAN: please feel free to rip it to shreds and tell me what to do better/differently. DolukTalk 18:48, 12 February 2009 (UTC)

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  20:02, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:11, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Pranay's things:
 * 2) * Please expand the intro.
 * 3) **Will do when I get home and have the source in front of me. DolukTalk 21:07, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Done. Hopefully that's OK, as I can't really think of anything else to put in there. DolukTalk 04:25, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * Could you merge the Skills and Abilities section into the P&T, because Power and Abilities sections are usually for Force abilities.
 * 6) **Done, and thanks I was wondering about whether or not I should include Skills & abilities. DolukTalk 21:07, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * You don't need to use the same reference more than one time in the same paragraph. If a paragraph ony has one source, then it only needs one reference.
 * 8) **Done. Thanks, this is another thing that I was unsure about. DolukTalk 21:07, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***And I've since been told that you don't need to use ref tags at all if there's only one source, so I've just gone ahead and removed the tags. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 18:01, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Madel Wharen was known as the inventor of one of the Drever Corporation's most innovative products: the Phoenix plasma punch. First, innovative is POV and a bit more context on Phoenix plasma punch would be good.
 * 11) **Innovative is the term used in the source, but I'll go back to the source and address this tonight. DolukTalk 21:07, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ***OK, it seems I was wrong. I thought innovative was the term used in the source, but it wasn't. Hopefully it's now more NPOV, and hopefully that's an appropriate amount of info about the plasma punch (I didn't want to put any more info in there, because I'm planning on creating an article for the plasma punch itself when I get a chance). DolukTalk 04:25, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Is there more known about his wife and his child? Otherwise, good work.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  20:32, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **I'll double check the source, but I don't think there's any other info at all about his wife and child. Thanks! DolukTalk 21:07, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***I checked and, other than their names and the fact that they exist, there's absolutely no info about the wife and child. DolukTalk 04:25, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Cylka:
 * 17) * I don't think that you can source Wharen as being human. Looking at GG9, him being human is only implied, not stated. It would be an assumption to claim he is human.
 * 18) **Good point. It's strongly implied by both the picture and the fact that WEG sourcebooks almost always tell you when a character isn't human, but it's still only implied. Removed. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * I see some information in GG9 that you could use to expand the Bio a bit more. I think you could add another sentence about his improving the company's products. And you could most certainly elaborate on how closely him and his family were watched by the ISB.
 * 20) **Yeah, now that I re-read it and the source, you're right. Addressed in the article. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * Also, the paragraphs in the bio are too short. You need to flesh them out or combine them.
 * 22) **LOL! OK that's kind of funny because I made a conscious effort to do that. I'm usually guilty of having my paragraphs way too long, so I tried to keep them shorter. Looks like I went overboard! Addressed. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * The P/T can also be expanded more. You could add in something about his business suit. Also you can elaborate on his various mechanical/engineering skills. Furthermore, his "infobox" has information about his personality, for instance, his lack of tolerance of corporate types.
 * 24) **Addressed. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * The Bts is where you want to detail the different "paths" Wharen's life could take. Such as him being installed as the head of the company.
 * 26) **Ah, excellent idea, I hadn't thought of that! Done. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * After more information has been added, the introduction will need expansion. Also, don't forget that the introduction can't have any information that is exclusive to the introduction. Anything written in the intro, must be in the body of the article, as well.
 * 28) **Done. DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) *This article looks good, it just needs a bit of expansion. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:31, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thanks! DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 17:59, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * There is only one last thing that I would like to see in the article. When you talk about Wharen being "known for his ability" or "considered to be a mechanical genius," who thought of him in these terms? Was it the company, or the company workers, or someone else? <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:03, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) **Hmm, that's actually a flaw in my writing style. The OOU source flat-out says that he's got the ability, and that he's a genius, so I really shouldn't have used those terms. I've changed the wording somewhat, hopefully it's more accurate now. Thanks! DolukFurthermore I believe that lists must be destroyed. 01:24, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) Grunny
 * 34) *The first three sentences in the P&t are a little short and choppy. You could possibly combine two of them, or make them more complex.
 * 35) *The P&t could also mention his Rebel sympathies and that he was "too prudent" to publicly support them.
 * 36) *Other than that great work, Doluk. Props for writing an article on an engineer :P.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:34, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Misha Vekkian

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 21:59, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Not your typical Imperial Navy officer

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Grunny's objections look like they're fixed. 04:43, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice work, Jinzler.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:02, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:31, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:36, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The P&A at the moment is painfully short, and detracts from the overall good quality of the article. Expand into a few sentences rather than just list the powers, and perhaps include her lightsaber tactics in that section.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:27, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Expanded --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ** I think the first and last sentence could still be worded better, with more complex sentence structure. For example, in the first sentence you could word it something like: "Vekkian was able to use the ancient technique of battle meditation, preferring to employ it before entering combat.". Or something similar, and do the same with the last sentence.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:47, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I have reworded it --Jinzler 14:51, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Soresu
 * 6) * After Admiral Gilder Varth betrayed the location of an Alderaanian Resistance taskforce that was waiting near Coruscant, an Imperial taskforce under the command of Inquisitor Valin Draco was sent to destroy it and Vekkian and her squad accompanied them. Break the sentence up.
 * 7) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * A bit of context on the Inquisitorius would be nice. 21:32, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Grunny's second look
 * 11) * Per SoresuMakashi.
 * 12) ** The Inquisitorius also needs some context in the intro.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:47, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * The Alderaanian Resistance needs some context in the intro and the bio.
 * 14) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Admiral Gilder Varth needs some more context. How was he able to get the information to betray them?
 * 16) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Also, need more context on Denia and her having previously helped the Alderaanian Resistance fighters.
 * 18) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "On board it, she was present with her squad in the frigate's landing bay, just as Draco left the ship in his shuttle with Jedi Master Denia, whom he had just captured." This sentence could be worded better.
 * 20) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "She never forgot any slight that she perceived to be against her and was vindictive and knew no mercy." The use of two "and"s so close together is awkward so reword. You could add in spiteful as well, same as the source.
 * 22) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * Describe her physical appearance in the P&t, i.e. tall, athletic build, close-cropped blond hair, and blue eyes.
 * 24) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * May be worth a mention in the P&t that the troops under her command wouldn't try to take her down as it was almost like she could read their minds.
 * 26) **Added --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * Mention the result of the battle, i.e. the defeat of the Imperial Naval troopers, escape of the Alderaanian Resistance, and the destruction of the Resurgence. Also, since the Conclusion in the source states the enemy is vanquished and the Resurgence destroyed with Alderaanian Resistance fighters escaping, wasn't Vekkian killed? I know it says that she did in the article for the Battle of the Resurgence, so please check to see if that is suggested in the source.
 * 28) **I added something on the result of the battle. However, the naval troopers aren't necessarily defeated as, page 11 of the source describes what can happen If the troopers are defeated, suggesting that it is possible for them not to be. Even though the Resurgence is destroyed, that doesn't mean Vekkian is killed. This is RPG so anything could happen, she could be captured by the player characters or could escape in the shuttle. As it does not state that she is killed, we can't assume that that is what happens --Jinzler 21:26, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***So the battle article needs some work then :P.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:47, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****I have removed the mention of her death in the battle article --Jinzler 13:00, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *****Good work, Jinzler. You just need some context for the Inquisitorius in the intro as well and then I'll support :).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 07:43, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ******Done --Jinzler 14:56, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Grunny  ( Talk ) 18:37, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) Cylka:
 * 35) * I think that adding in that the Alderaanian Resistance was an anti-Imperial group, in both the intro and article body, would add a lot of context.
 * 36) **Added --20:46, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * In the second paragraph of the biography, I believe it would be better to A few months after the end of the Clone Wars - to something about the formation of the Empire, since that was what the previous paragraph ended on, and the focus of the Alderaanian Resistance.
 * 38) **Fixed --Jinzler 20:46, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * became some of the meanest men in the Imperial Navy - Can you expand a bit on this? Why were they considered the meanest, and who considered them the meanest?
 * 40) **The source doesn't really say, so I have rephrased this --Jinzler 20:46, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * Her squad was scared of her and thought that it would not be unwise for them to try and take her down, as they believed that she could read their minds. - This is a bit confusing. Did her squad want to eliminate her or not?
 * 42) **I think they didn't and that this was meant to be a reason why they didn't, I have tried to clarify this --Jinzler 20:46, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ***Yes, you have clarified this, however you have added that she could read their minds, when before you had stated that they only believed that she could read their minds. Could you clarify this please. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:49, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) ****I have changed they knew to they believed, to show that they thought this, rather than her definitly being able to do this --Jinzler 16:28, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *Good work, Jinzler. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:32, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) Toprawa:
 * 47) * The intro and the bio mention that the Alderaanian task force was sent to wait near Coruscant. Can we provide some context for exactly what they were there for? Sabotage, etc.?
 * 48) **Added this --Jinzler 21:38, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Excellent work otherwise. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:17, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Skirmish on Tatooine

 * Nominated by:Kilson likes PIE
 * Nomination comments:I know this will work Kilson likes PIE 23:39, 13 February 09 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Cylka:
 * 2) *mission was at first thought to be a success and miracle rescue on the part of Renegade Squadron - Who thought that the mission was a miracle rescue, and why did they think so?
 * 3) **At the first cutscene at the end of the level, Col Serra said that it was a miracle rescue and a success, and he doesn't say exactly why but I would assume because the prisoners we so well guarded. Kilson Likes PIE 00:19, 01 March 09 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Alright, so this needs to be added into the article proper since right now it is only mentioned in the introduction.
 * 5) * Who put out the bounty on captured rebels? A bit of context is needed here.
 * 6) *Fett was able to disable to capture Ackbar and the Mon Calamarian's surviving crew men. - OK, this sentence needs more context, and I believe that it is missing some information as well. First off, disable what? And were they on a ship? And did some crewmen die when Fett was capturing them?
 * 7) **Should of caught that, sorry. And yes, some of the crew did apparently die, becuase Col says during the openning cutscene that Fett sold the surviving crew and droids as slaves and scrap. Kilson Likes PIE 00:19, 01 March 09 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Fett was able to disable Ackbar's ship over the planet using his ship - How did he use his ship to disable Ackbar's ship? This needs a bit more context.
 * 9) *Renegade Squadron needs to have a bit more context in the article proper before you jump into their deployment. This will also explain why they arrived on the Millennium Falcon. You have information about the Squadron exclusive to the introduction. Be careful of that. Whatever is written in the intro must be in the article.
 * 10) **You did a great job in introducing Renegade Squadron in the Battle of Korriban article, and I think you should do the same in this article.
 * 11) * In the article for the Unidentified Rodian contact here on Wookieepedia, it states that Renegade Squadron captured the cantina where they found the Rodian. Since I'm not sure of the validity of that article, could you please double check that information, and if it is factual, add it into this article.
 * 12) **It's factual, they captured it from the Imperials, I will add it. Kilson Likes PIE 00:19, 01 March 09 (UTC)
 * 13) * You need to add in the information that the Rebels were sold to the Hutt Cartel a bit earlier.
 * 14) * Han Solo needs context. This goes along with my earlier objection about context for the Renegade Squadron.
 * 15) * Although the generators were scattered around the city, they were pretty easy to find - Why were they easy to find? Who thought this? This sounds a bit speculative/NPOV, and should be rewritten a bit.
 * 16) **During the game, there's bright yellow floating arrows over each generator, and the generators appear on you tactial map too. Now obviously the floating arrows are a game mechanic, but I could put in that Col Serra quickly located the generators for the Squadron. How's that. Kilson Likes PIE 00:19, 01 March 09 (UTC)
 * 17) *Please make these changes, and then I'll look over the article again. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:43, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Check now dude. Kilson likes PIE 1:08, 01 March 09 (UTC)
 * 19) *As the liberated Rebels were rushing to their transport - Where did this transport come from? Did it come with Renegade Squadron? A bit more information is needed here.
 * 20) *Renegades destroyed the two Imperial walkers - How did they destroy them? Since this an important part of the rescue, a bit more context is needed.
 * 21) *Again, you did a good job in expanding the Battle of Korriban article, and I think that you should try to do the same with this article. Also make sure that all the details are added in. For example, in Wookieepedia's article on Boz Pity, it states that the R2 unit that accompanied Rogue Squadron belonged to Ackbar. While I don't know if this is accurate, small details such as that, can add a great deal to an article. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 05:50, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Grunny's first look:
 * 23) *Boba Fett needs some context when first mentioned in the intro.
 * 24) *"In the game, right after the Rodian contact agrees to help the player, Col Serra will ask if they can trust him or not. Solo then replies that he knows what happened to the last Rodian to double cross him in this cantina. This is obviously a reference to when Han shot Greedo at the Mos Eisley cantina in Star Wars Episode IV." Can you provide a source where this is confirmed as a reference otherwise this is OR.
 * 25) **There is no source, but you can tell it is a reference. I could put in likely or possibly instead of obviously, but I will get rid of it if you really find it necassary, but some things are just so obvious that you don't really need a reference. Kilson likes PIE 19:19, 07 March 09 (UTC)
 * 26) *You mention that it occurred during the Galactic Civil War in the intro but not in the history. There should be no info in the intro which isn't also in the article body.
 * 27) *You need to clarify that the skirmish was between the Alliance and the Empire in the intro.
 * 28) *Ackbar needs context when first mentioned in the "Prelude".
 * 29) *"Fett was able to disable Ackbar's ship over the planet using his ship, Slave I, killing some of the crew, and capture the Mon Calamarian and the surviving crew." You need to clarify that Ackbar is the Mon Calamarian, don't assume the readers know who he is. This plays into the previous objection.
 * 30) *Han Solo and Col Serra need some context when first mentioned in the "Prelude".
 * 31) *Renegade Squadron needs a little context in the intro.
 * 32) *I'll re-review after you address these.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:08, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Check now about the other stuff, and thanks for all the help on the Battle of Koriban :) Kilson likes PIE 19:47, 07 March 09 (UTC)

Little Bivoli

 * Nominated by: Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  16:40, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:The ship may be a mess but the article (hopefully) isn't.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well done, Nayayen.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:38, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunny's first look
 * 2) * It needs a "Description" section that includes its class and all the details of the design of the ship.
 * 3) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Overlinking/Underlinking: Check you link everything once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 5) **Done (I'll keep tabs on this as I edit) Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Marn Heiroglyph needs some context in the intro.
 * 7) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Zayne Carrick could also use some more context in the intro.
 * 9) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * The Mandalorian Wars needs some mention in the intro.
 * 11) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * The Mandalorian Wars also needs mention in the History, providing context for the Battle of Serroco.
 * 13) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * You also need to provide some context for the Courageous battle group in the intro, and how the Little Bivoli was forced to join.
 * 15) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * Padawan Massacre of Taris needs context in its first mention.
 * 17) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *** "On Ralltiir, the Snivvian black marketeer Marn Hierogryph and Jedi Padawan Zayne Carrick, the falsely accused perpetrator of the Padawan Massacre of Taris, an attempt by the Jedi Covenant to prevent the Rogue Moon Prophecy from coming to fruition, were forced to look for a new ship after their previous Arkanian offshoot companions, Jarael and Camper left on their ship, the Last Resort, to find a cure for Camper's illness on Arkania." This sentence has become unruly by trying to provide context, as now you would have to provide context for both the Jedi Covenant and the Rogue Moon Prophecy. It may be better to say something like: "the falsely accused perpetrator of the Padawan Massacre of Taris, where four Padawans were killed by their Masters..." since going into such detail is unnecessary as this article is about the Little Bivoli. Or perhaps something like: "Jedi Padawan Zayne Carrick, the falsely accused killer of four fellow Padawans at the Padawan Massacre of Taris..." Have a play with the sentence but try to simplify it :).
 * 19) ****Done, imagine the linking if that was the first sentence in the article; I count 17. Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 17:01, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * "At one point Gryph went to see why the supply of clean plates for the buffet was low and found Zayne using the Force to keep him from loosing his mind until, for yet another time, Zayne was forced to abandon his meditation when one of the serving droids dropped a tray of food on a soldier's coat." Why was Zayne loosing his mind?
 * 21) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * The Battle of Serroco needs to mentioned explicitly in "History".
 * 23) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "Upon arriving on Serroco with the Republic fleet, the Bivoli continued its role as a provisioning ship." You need to mention that it was a provisioning ship earlier than in the history. Possibly in explaining why the Courageous ordered them into formation.
 * 25) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 09:42, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * In the Bts, you may want to include who wrote the issue and who drew the ship.
 * 27) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 11:15, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *I'll re-review after you address these.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 07:13, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Grunny's second look
 * 30) * You may also want to add a "Commanders and crew" section, using this current CT as a guide. Although it hasn't passed yet it is a good guide for the layout.
 * 31) **Done, put it as "Owners and operators"; seems more fitting. Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 15:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * "They were ordered to merge into formation for a hyperspace jump bound to Serroco given that the Bivoli had often served as a provisioning ship for the Navy throughout the Mandalorian Wars." The Mandalorian Wars needs some more context here.
 * 33) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 15:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Carth Onasi could also use a little bit more context, i.e. "a [insert his position here] in the Courageous battle group."
 * 35) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 15:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Admiral Saul Karath also needs some context as the leader of the Courageous battle group.
 * 37) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 15:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * In the "Destruction" section, you need to mention that Carrick and Gryph found another way off Serroco.
 * 39) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 15:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) *Good work so far, Nayayen :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 12:50, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * The images are too clustered together. Spread them out and make sure they alternate throughout the article (i.e. don't have two in a row on the right-hand side).
 * 42) **I had some issues getting this to look right but I've got it now. Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 17:01, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *Almost there :-). Make sure you address the remaining objection in my first look.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 00:38, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) Lucky number three
 * 45) * You need to either connect the nickname Gryph to Marn Heirogryh, or simply refer to him as Heirogryph throughout. You can't assume the reader knows they are the same person.
 * 46) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 14:01, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * In the description section you have put all the references at the end of the paragraph but not all the information appears in all those sources. You need to reference the information where it appears. For example, "The Aurebesh for "Little Bivoli" could be seen on the sides of the ship above the sections which folded out." The aurebesh doesn't appear in the KotOR Campaign Guide so it can't be referenced to it.
 * 48) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 14:01, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * Is it possible expand the "Description" section to include things like its manufacturer, defensive capabilities or any other information you can find? Maybe that it was staffed by serving droids?
 * 50) **Done Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 14:01, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) *Getting so close :-). Make sure to read over any changes you make and relate them to previous objections to avoid creating more.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 05:11, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Wade Vox

 * Nominated by: Joker1138 ( Mandalore ) [[Image:Neo-Crusader_emblem.svg|25px]] 19:24, 17 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Want to give this a good shot. Joker1138 ( Mandalore ) [[Image:Neo-Crusader_emblem.svg|25px]] 19:24, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) DC's preliminaries
 * 2) *Infobox needs to be fully sourced.
 * 3) *If he is a Force-user, he needs a Force-user infobox.
 * 4) *You need to ref the infobox correctly.
 * 5) *Intro needs to be expanded.
 * 6) *Youtube is not a source. Please find the correct source for the material or delete it, along with the Youtube reference.
 * 7) *P&T could probably be expanded. If it gives that info on him, then's there's more.
 * 8) *Copyedit the article.
 * 9) *Speculation in BtS.
 * 10) *BtS needs to be completely sourced.
 * 11) *POV, OR, and speculation throughout the article in it's entirety.
 * 12) *If you're going to compare him to somebody, make sure it's sourced.
 * 13) *You use no new info from the Demolitions Strategy Guide.
 * 14) *This has a long way to go. DC 22:16, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

Darth Stryfe

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  ( Talk ) 11:10, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The most brutal Sith

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) The most brutal Sith, huh? [chokes to death] I find your lack of faith disturbing. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  Everything I tell you is the truth  ) 11:43, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I'll vote, but even with proof, I don't like the Perhaps precedent: "Farfalla, perhaps an ungulate Sephi". "Demos Traxen, perhaps a Thisspissian, or a Sluissi". "Yoda, perhaps a ..."--Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:53, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:24, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Perhaps the most brutal of the One Sith, Stryfe was raw power personified that was waiting to be unleashed. Is this actually stated in the source? It sounds quite POV to me.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  Everything I tell you is the truth  ) 11:36, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes it is. It is the wording used in both Legacy 0 and the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 11:39, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I would suggest changing it to "considered to potentially be the most brutal of the One Sith," or somesuch, to avoid NPOV/OR-looking wording. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:09, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Done.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 12:12, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Cylka:
 * 6) * I think it would be a good idea to tie the Sith-Imperial War and the Anti-Sith Insurgency together when they are introduced.
 * 7) **How's that? :)
 * 8) * Stryfe was named Krayt's new Hand after his former Hands, Darth Nihl and Darth Talon, let Skywalker, who Krayt sought for his healing ability, escape the Sith Temple on Coruscant. - I think that this information would work better with the previous sentence if you rewrote it to first talk about Skywalker's escape, then lead into Stryfe's promotion.
 * 9) **Re-ordered sentence :).
 * 10) *Good job, yet again, Grunny!. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:52, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for being a reviewing machine, Cylka :D.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:21, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm going to GA it now and then put it up for FA after Storms comes out :-).

Gelesi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:54, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: In the name of the Face of Revan!

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 03:48, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) You need to provide some more context in the bio section regarding his choice to support the Queen. I know it is mentioned in the intro, but needs to be in the bio as well. Also, doesn't it need light-side tags seeing as the dark-side path is in the Bts? --Eyrezer 04:04, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *It is mentioned in the Bio and I've added the tags. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:31, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **The addition you made to the intro re the Queen is good. But what I was suggesting is that the extra context should be placed in the Biography section, rather than the intro. As it is currently, the intro has more info of the Queen/Vaklu conflict than the biography. --Eyrezer 21:30, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***How's this? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Yep.
 * 6) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 7) * Was the CSWE checked?
 * 8) **Yes, I'm told there is nothing significant. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:14, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "Young" is pretty subjective. Please remove.
 * 10) **Removed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:14, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * Mentioning that he lives in Iziz, and not just plain Onderon, is essential in both the intro and bio.
 * 12) **Done
 * 13) * Context for Talia's and Vaklu's ideals in the intro.
 * 14) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:42, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Context for the Onderon Civil War in the intro.
 * 16) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:46, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Context for the Second Battle of Onderon in the intro.
 * 18) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:42, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Do we know he was only one of three total Captains of the Guard for Iziz? It sounds speculative.
 * 20) **Yes we do. That girl who wants them gone if the Exile sides with Vaklu says so. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:14, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Gelesi did not fall victim to a murder" – This is pretty evident. It's also pretty much unnecessary. Please either reword considerably or remove.
 * 22) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:14, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * Context for the Jedi Exile.
 * 24) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:42, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * Context for Kavar.
 * 26) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:20, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *There is zero setup for the political situation. Please expand the bio with the necessary information.
 * 28) *From the intro and P&T, I can tell that this article is far from complete in terms of telling his story as part of the larger situation. Please expand it appropriately. I'll continue my review at that point. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:10, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Confrontation on Ambria

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster 22:57, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've worked on this article for a while, and I believe it's ready for nomination.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Grunny
 * 2) * This is a conjecturally-titled article, so the title of the article should not appear at the start of the article or anywhere else.
 * 3) **Addressed Jonjedigrandmaster 16:41, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Darovit needs some context in the intro.
 * 5) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 14:55, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *** It would be better to provide context for him on his first mention in the intro, i.e. "duel between failed Jedi Padawan Darovit..." or something like that.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:06, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Done Jonjedigrandmaster 16:56, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Darth Bane needs a little more context in the intro (i.e. reigning Dark Lord of the Sith).
 * 9) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 14:55, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Duel on Tython also needs some context in the intro.
 * 11) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 14:55, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *** You've become too detailed, provide a basic context just so the reader has an idea.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:06, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Done, thanks for your help Jonjedigrandmaster 16:56, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Need to be clearer in the intro on what the "lasting effects on the galaxy" are.
 * 15) **Is this better? Jonjedigrandmaster 14:55, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *** You should put this at the end of the intro so the information is chronological.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:06, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Done Jonjedigrandmaster 16:56, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Darth Bane also needs context when first mentioned in the Prelude, and explain what the orbalisks are.
 * 19) **Done...or should I put in more about the orbalisks? Jonjedigrandmaster 16:56, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Duel on Tython once again needs context when first mentioned in the Prelude. Here is where Farfalla should first be mentioned.
 * 21) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 16:41, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * There are a few short choppy sentences throughout, such as "Not even Caleb himself knew where she was.", "Zannah was hesitant at first." and "They were led by the Twi'lek Jedi Master Tho'natu."; integrate them into other sentences or expand them. Try to use more complex sentences for a better quality of writing.
 * 23) **Addressed...let me know if there're any I've missed Jonjedigrandmaster 16:41, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * You need to explain the lasting effect on the galaxy in the aftermath, maybe by referencing other sources, in which case you need to reference the whole article.
 * 25) **Is this better, or should I do more? Jonjedigrandmaster 15:13, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Noticing Darovit's missing hand, he guessed that Darovit had been grievously injured and had come to Caleb for help, and the healer had sent the message to the Jedi shortly after Darovit's arrival." The two "and"s is awkward, this should be reworded.
 * 27) **Addressed Jonjedigrandmaster 15:04, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * "Tho'natu and the other Jedi attacked the insane young man, killing him in seconds." Didn't he attack the Jedi?
 * 29) **Fixed Jonjedigrandmaster 15:04, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *I'll review more thoroughly after you work through these.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:19, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * In addressing the context issues in the intro you have become too detailed. The intro is now too long for an article of this size; the intro for this article should be either one decently sized paragraph or two shortish paragraphs. In the intro give very basic context on characters and events, ask me on my talk page if you want help with this :).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:06, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) A second look
 * 33) * Check for over/underlinking; link once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 34) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 15:47, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * You could possibly expand a bit on the lasting effects.
 * 36) **Is this good? Jonjedigrandmaster 15:47, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * Also, you now need to reference those lasting effects, (i.e. reference Invasion of Naboo to The Phantom Menace) which means you need to reference the entire article to Rule of Two.
 * 38) **Have I done this correctly? This is the first article I've sourced Jonjedigrandmaster 16:14, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ***You got it mostly right :). Take a look at the changes I made to get an idea of how to do it.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ****Ok, thanks for your help! Jonjedigrandmaster 13:13, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * In the "Aftermath" section you should change one of the "guessed"'s.
 * 42) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 15:47, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *You're doing well, Jon :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 05:02, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * For clarity, mention the date of the confrontation in the "Prelude" section.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:50, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **Done Jonjedigrandmaster 13:13, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * Also, work into the article body that Darovit was a failed Padawan, since that's the context you use in the intro. Other than that, great work Jon :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:59, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **Thanks! Done Jonjedigrandmaster 21:20, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) *"He chose this event to be the final encounter between the Jedi and Sith that led to the belief, presented in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, that the Sith had been eradicated from the galaxy." Do you have a source that verifies this statement? Since there is a third Darth Bane novel coming out I don't think this should be assumed unless it can be verified.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:23, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Removed, and I rewrote part of the Bts section. Should I add more to it? Jonjedigrandmaster 02:43, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Tjulan Kwaad

 * Nominated by: -- Harrar 14:09, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another Kwaad for my collection

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Dark Lord Trayus 03:28, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:28, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:20, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Cylka:
 * 2) * What is the heresy that Mezhan Kwaad and Nen Yim committed? This needs a bit more context.
 * 3) * I believe a little context for villip would be beneficial for the uninitiated.
 * 4) *Nice article. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks. See what you think, I believe I've rectified matters. -- Harrar 14:05, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * If Tjulan is mentioned in the CSWE I would be very grateful if someone could transcribe the entry on mine or his talk pages. -- Harrar 14:09, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Nuvo Vindi

 * Nominated by: Dark Lord Trayus 03:13, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first article and nom. :D I'm a man now!

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) A quick look from Soresu
 * 2) *Good to see you having a go at a GA. A few preliminaries:
 * 3) ** Infobox should be sourced.
 * 4) ***All sourced up.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ** There should be no sourcing in the intro.
 * 6) ***Desourced.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ** There must be a source at the end of each paragraph.
 * 8) ***Paragraphically sourced.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **It is possible that his underground laboratory was built in this year, during the Trade Federation Invasion of Naboo. This is speculation and should be removed, unless it is specifically stated in the source.
 * 10) ***Its in the guide, towards the bottom in the trivia & details section.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****I still not too sure it should be there. I was thinking about moving it to the bts. Can any ACs butt in? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:41, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *****I'll butt in here. I think that this does need to be moved to the Bts. All we know for certain is that the laboratory is there, and Vindi is using it. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 05:16, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *I will take a more thorough look after these are done. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 09:16, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Are you sure you've covered the entire episode? Looking at the episode guide, I can find a number of facts that are not presented in the article. I think it could still use some expansion. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:58, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Cylka's first look:
 * 16) *You still have instances of redundant ref tags in some of the paragraphs. Please double check the article.
 * 17) **I'm not very good at this sourcing stuff, so im not 100% sure where tags are needed and where they're not. Could you help me haha?Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *Alright, you need to fix the reference tags throughout the whole article. First, the ref tags in the infobox are incorrect. I have already changed the first one for you . Please pay attention to the    as they are only to be used in the infobox references. Now, <ref name="BSV">  form is used the first time you are using a new reference, the next time you want to use the reference in the article you want to use this form  . Please go through the article and change all of the reference tags. If you are having problems, let me know.
 * 19) **Hahaha i'm having many many many sourcing issues. Haha i tried the nowiki thingy or whatever its called and now its appearing on the page and im utterly confused haha.  I feel really stupid when it comes to this stuff - can you help me? :E Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *Words such as "Unfortunately" and "Luckily" are POVish, and they need to be removed. Please go through the article and make that you maintain a neutral point-of-view.
 * 21) **I removed the luckily, but I'm not sure the unfortunately needs to be removed because it specifically says "Unfortunately for Dr. Vindi". So its not really POV if it says that its unfortunate for him, right?Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *Just from reading the episode guides, I can see that you can expand on the Virus is released section. Since this an important scene for Vindi, his actions should be fairly detailed.
 * 23) **Expanded. I think I have everyhing now.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *You haven't included anything about Vindi being cuffed and transported on the shuttle. His capture, and later events need to be detailed.
 * 25) **Added.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *Although brilliant, he evidently suffered problems with his sanity following his disappearance. - We don't know what he was like before his disappearance. He may have had problems with his sanity before as well. This is speculation, and needs to be removed.
 * 27) **Fixed. And expanded P&T.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *The Bts needs to be expanded to include information such as in which episodes he appeared. This is also where you should include the speculation about the lab.
 * 29) **Info added.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *The character was fitted with a noticable German accent, reminiscent of a stereotypical Nazi scientist. - If you can't source this, it needs to be removed. Only information that is sourced can be included in the article.
 * 31) **Thats something i've removed several times. I dunno why, but someone keeps adding it. Its gone for now.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Please take care of these objections, and I'll go through the article again. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 05:13, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Haha I actually think I made it worse with the whole sourcing thing... sorry Dark Lord Trayus 21:08, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Kadann (impostor)

 * Nominated by: --Dark Ridley 16:26, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Based on the comments left in the comments section, this article doesn't appear to be complete. Those items need to be taken care of first, and then a review can be done. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:12, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * As the author of the article, I'd planned to nominate for FA when I'd finished Kadann, so I could nominate them together, but I got fed up with Kadann and haven't finished him. There's no reason he can't go for GA, I suppose, but I'd rather be able to reply to objections myself, with relative autonomy. Is that okay, Ridley? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:52, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Actually, this isn't 100% completed. I still have a couple of little things to do. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:30, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * And I'll note them here for myself, since it's probably most convenient: integrate relevant Polyhedron stuff into the bio; expand post-death Azrakel info; BtS needs clarification in places; mention sources that were retrospectively retconned to mention the impostor; mention CSWE crap; detail Gamer info; redlinks. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:51, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Anakin Vs. Obi-Wan

 * Nominated by:Master Fredcerique
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) *There should be no refs in the intro.
 * 3) **Refs deleted. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *The infobox needs to be referenced.
 * 5) **Infobox referenced. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Many statements need references in the body of the article.
 * 7) *Refs should not be links to other articles that are not sources.
 * 8) **"Other article" refs deleted. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Refs go after punctuation, not before.
 * 10) **Refs rearranged. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *No need for subsections in the BTS.
 * 12) **Subsections combined. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *ROTS and the soundtrack should be either listed as appearances or sources, not both.
 * 14) **Appearnce section deleted. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Remove all irrelevant Wikipedia links from External Links.
 * 16) **Irrelevant ex-links deleted. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 22:08, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *Frankly, I don't think this is currently worthy of GA status. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:39, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *Now you've simply gone from bad to worse with the referencing. "Source" tags do not count as refs, and the summary and majority of the BTS are still unsourced. And there are still Wikipedia links in the External Links that should be removed. So, in response to your message on my talk page, this still isn't GA worthy. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:15, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Cylka's first look:
 * 20) *The infobox needs to be sourced correctly. I have done the first reference for you. Please note the   that bracket the references. This is only to be used in the infobox.
 * 21) *The introduction is supposed to be a summary of the article. As it stands, you have unique information in the introduction. Please reiterate any relevant information in the article proper.
 * 22) *Please do not double space after a period, as it just creates html untidiness. I have gone through and corrected this, but I may have missed something, so please double check.
 * 23) *Anakin is not Darth Vader yet at this point, so to avoid confusion, don't refer to him as Vader.
 * 24) *You should probably either explain the term "soli" or use another word in its place. Not everyone will understand what it means.
 * 25) *It goes through a few different versions before going into a variation of May the Force Be With You - Which song is going through the different versions?
 * 26) *More context is needed for Battle of the Heroes, The Imperial March, andMay the Force Be With You when they are first introduced. Also, the way it is explained right now, it appears as if "Anakin Vs. Obi-Wan" is simply a composition these three other themes. Is that correct?
 * 27) *John Williams wrote Battle of the Heroes. This song is in many ways similar to the track Anakin Vs. Obi-Wan. - This goes along with the previous objection. This needs to be clarified a bit more. Furthermore, if you don't have a reference for this, it is OR/speculation. You just can't simply cite the movie, because you are using only your own observation then.
 * 28) *For every new Star Wars movie, George Lucas wanted a new major theme. For Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Lucas wanted John Williams to write a song that depicted a tragic duel between two former friends. - Same thing here, do you have a reference for this? Simply referencing the soundtrack isn't sufficient. If this information is coming from the liner notes, then this is what needs to be specified.
 * 29) *I believe it would be a good idea to give the times for the length of each of the different versions in the summary section.
 * 30) *It is also one of the fastest songs on the CD - Do you mean tempo? If so, please clarify.
 * 31) *I think it would be a good idea to do a little research to discover exactly which instruments were used during this track, specifically with the low brass and percussion. As it is, you only specify trumpets. But please remember, that you need a verifiable source for the instruments.
 * 32) *Please take care of these objections, and then I'll look over the article again. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 06:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I, Fredcerique, am the author of this article. I believe I have finally made it worthy of GA status. Master Fredcerique Robert M. Pierce 18:02, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * You may like to look in on this CT. --Eyrezer 22:50, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Fredcerique, please do not strike other user's objections. It is up to them to determine whether the objection has been satisfied and strike themselves. This is made clear at the top of the page. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:39, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Duqua Dar

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:59, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A companion piece to Acaadi

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:56, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Worked out the bugs earlier. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:20, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Jonjedigrandmaster 20:32, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Ordo Skirata

 * Nominated by:ToRsO bOy 18:31, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First article. Oh boy.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Grunny's preliminary look
 * 2) *Before I get into the depth of the article, at a glance:
 * 3) **Infobox needs to be completely sourced.
 * 4) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Intro paragraphs should be combined into two paragraphs, to clean it up.
 * 6) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **"It is not known whether he lived to a ripe old age but chances are he may have, as his brother Jaing was still alive by 40 ABY; openly admitting that they did find a way to stop their accelerated aging." This is speculative and OR, clean it up so it only provides information given in the source.
 * 8) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 00:37, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **You should combine some of the the shorter paragraphs in the Bio. For example, the first two paragraphs in "Training and childhood" should really be combined.
 * 10) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Over/underlinking: Make sure you link once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 12) ***Question: If something has already been linked on the article body, there's no need to link it again somewhere down further correct?--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Check for superfluous references.
 * 14) ***Trimmed those down to two instead of three. Is that ok?--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *I'll read the article in depth soon :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 07:26, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Much thanks.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Soresu
 * 18) * Some things in the infobox are unsourced.
 * 19) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * You can't prove that Ordo was born in 32 BBY, unless it was specifically stated. (see a number of clone GA/FA's.)
 * 21) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *A bit of info is required on how the Nulls were created (who, what, when, where, why) at the beginning of the biography.
 * 23) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 00:37, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Change 'unfortunately' to something else. It's slightly POV to use such words.
 * 25) ****Removed. --ToRsO bOy 00:05, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Context on Kal Skirata, Battle of Geonosis
 * 27) **Can you elaborate a bit? I'm not sure I understand. --ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***You need to explain what they are, so that the reader doesn't have to click through to the page to learn that information. For example, Ordo and the Nulls were deployed along with majority of the clone troopers at the Battle of Geonosis. You need to tell us a bit about the battle. I would suggest something similar to ...Battle of Geonosis, the opening battle of the war between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:22, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ****Gotcha. Added. --ToRsO bOy 00:05, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * You've used the quote template which bolds the speaker's name. Most articles use  . I don't know why we do it like that, but it's the precedent.
 * 31) **Will do. Though I saw some other GA's with bolded quotes.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * The Jedi Master went in to negotiate the release of the hostages but was caught with a hidden strip-cam. His booby-trapped body was tossed out of the front door where it exploded. Okay, he was detected by a hidden device. Then you suddenly jump to him being booby-trapped and thrown out the front door. Is there a missing sentence about him being captured and having a bomb placed in his body?
 * 33) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * This is a shoot-to kill policy. It isn't shoot-to-kill?
 * 35) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * There he met Supervisor Besany Wennen, who at that time was also working undercover. Did Ordo actually know she was undercover?
 * 37) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * in order to hunt Chief Scientist Ko Sai. Chief scentist of what?
 * 39) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * In 'Return to Tipoca city', you jump to extracting Mereel and his data on cloning without first stating their intentions to slow down the aging process.
 * 41) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *I will do the rest soon, I just saved this so Grunny doesn't steal my job :-). SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:32, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) **Much appreciated.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) Soresu's review continues
 * 45) * All of the Nulls would again meet months later at Laseema's apartment due to Jaing Skirata's spy program being discovered in the Treasury computer networks. What spy program? This was never said earlier in the Bio
 * 46) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *"Aliit, then. Our clan." What is aliit?
 * 48) **Changed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) ***Oh, my apologies. That was more of a question than an objection. I was just wondering what aliit meant. The quote is better with that line on, sorry about that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Context on Ovolot Qail Uthan and Arla Fett.
 * 51) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * Ordo tried vainly to resuscitate her but to no avail. Vainly is redundant.
 * 53) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * They all arrived safely on Mandalore Are we forgetting about Etain? ?
 * 55) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * Despite being extremely lethal and dangerous, Ordo's sole weakness was his vulnerability to the approval of Skirata. POV
 * 57) **Question: It was stated explicitly in the novel. Does that still count? Reworded.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***The rewording seems to have removed the POV. When it's stated in the novel, that's pretty much what you should try and do. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * You could add some things into the P&T, such as his capacity for love (evidenced by marriage), his belief in Mandalorian customs (marriage ceremony), and his indifference to killing others (such as when he shot Lemmeloth in the head, and when he left Zey to die.
 * 60) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * Ordo was an even better soldier compared to a regular clone trooper Better is POV.
 * 62) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * In talents and abilities, you should note his ability to use different firearms such as the Verpine, and his combat training, which made him an able fighter (evidenced by events such as the hostage seige).
 * 64) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 02:34, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) *Bts expansion. I'm sure there's more info out there.
 * 66) **I honestly don't know what else to add or where I can find them. Do you have any suggestions? I thought I'd look into Karen's blogs but all of them have been discontinued. --ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Well, Bts review was never my strength, but you could mention something about the other sources, such as O66 and True Colors expanding on his later life. I'm really not sure what else there is on him, but any sort of info about his developent and any canon discrepancies should also go here. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * The last paragraph of the Bts needs to be sourced.
 * 69) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) *Not bad for a first go, especially considering the size of the article. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:54, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * I can't believe I only realised this just now. Shouldn't the article name be Null-11? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:12, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) **I raised a similar question but got nowhere. --ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) ***In that thread, you said that his full name Ordo Skirata was used in the book. If that is true, (sorry, I haven't read the book) then the article doesn't need to be moved. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:27, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) ****As far as I can recall he hasn't been referred to by his full name yet. Sorry for the misunderstanding but what I meant in that thread was he and Jaing were the only two Nulls that have their full name on their Wookieepedia pages. Jaing is the only that's been referred to by his full name on Sacrifice.--ToRsO bOy 04:51, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ***** So, will this be moved to Null-11? And per my and Cylka's posts in the comments section, you should use first names in this article, since there are multiple Skiratas. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ******Is that even necessary? I don't mean to start a debate but he's already deserted the GAR so we know he won't be using N-11 anymore. He's also been formally adopted by Kal so there shouldn't any problems with his full name being used. Btw, already changed all the Skiratas into Kal. --ToRsO bOy 11:45, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) *******I see your reasoning. Just two remaining objections from me left. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:34, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * A question to the ACs: Would it be permissible to use first names in this article? There are 7 Skiratas, and it gets really confusing trying to figure out who's who. Can an exception be made? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:54, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, that is something that is generally done. If there are two or more individuals with the same last name, then the first name is used to differentiate between them. After quickly glancing at this article, I would say that it is necessary in this instance. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 10:05, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Elke Vetter

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:33, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Back to Legacy

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Support
 * SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:04, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * using the information to decide that she could let Marasiah lead her to her father or he would come to save her. Can this be reworded? The flow is a bit messed up.
 * 3) **How's that?
 * 4) * Talon used the Force to interrogate Vetter Used the Force in what way? Torture, or mind tricks?
 * 5) **Mentioned :).
 * 6) * The fact that she gave in to Talon's interrogation should be in the P&T. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 11:14, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Mentioned. Thanks for reviewing as always Soresu, let me know if you see more that needs doing :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:39, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Cylka:
 * 9) *Why were they hiding in the Imperial Mission temple?
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) *I believe the paragraph would flow a bit better if you mentioned that Krayt ordered Talon to kill Roan Fel before going into how they were hiding in the temple on Socorro.
 * 12) **Moved things around a little, how's it looking now? :)
 * 13) *If you are going to mention Talon's promotion to Krayt's Hand, then Hand needs a bit more context.
 * 14) **Contextified.
 * 15) *I would change the wording around a bit in either the intro or the article proper so that both paragraph don't read word for word. I believe it will give the article a better flow.
 * 16) **Changed.
 * 17) *Another well done article, Grunny! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:34, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks, Cylka :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:47, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Jarvashqiine

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:00, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Moderately interesting. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:00, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

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Oppose Comments
 * 1) There is a double ref tag in the first paragraph of the History section. I didn't remove it since I was uncertain as to whether you meant for it to be a different reference. Other than that, good job! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 00:19, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Nolor

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 23:28, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Inquisitors like interrogating people

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Tutor Korus

 * Nominated by: —Tommy [[Image:Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 15:20, 6 March 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: None.

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Unidentified Mandalorian commander

 * Nominated by: End0 da Baker
 * Nomination comments: A lot of work from me and from Ruthless Xero (and all others who helped) has brought it a long way!

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Support
 * 1) Ruthless Xero 02:07, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Naru's Shinigami Eye
 * 2) * Neither the body or the intro specifically says he dies while the infobox does. This needs to be stipulated.
 * 3) * Shouldn't this article be called Unidentified Mandalorian Commander? This is his title, not a name.
 * 4) * He was not "The Mandalorian Commander." There were others. All instances of this should be changed to reflect that.
 * 5) *Whats so special about this datapad? Why did Revan need to insert it in this swoop bike?
 * 6) *The intro needs great expansion. It is supposed to be a summary of the whole article and what happened to this man.
 * 7) *In the Bts, you should detail that Revan may not have been able to save the wookiee and the light/dark alternatives having to do with that.
 * 8) *That's my cursory look in all its glory. I'll look again after these are fixed. Eat plenty of apples. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:05, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Grunny's first look:
 * 10) *This is a conjecturally-titled article, so the title of the article should not appear at the start of the article or anywhere else.
 * 11) *Nearly all the info in the intro isn't addressed in the article body: his sex, species, allegiance to the Neo-Crusaders, and the Jedi Civil War. There should be no info in the intro that isn't addressed in the article body. The intro should also be expanded.
 * 12) *The Bts needs to include that he first appeared in KotOR.
 * 13) *"The Commander also believed in reuniting the Mandalorian clans, indicated by his dialoge with Canderous Ordo, if he was present." The second half of this sentence is speculative, since it depends on whether or not Ordo was present. This should be removed, and the speculative part addressed in the Bts.
 * 14) *"His decision to attack only weaponless opponents after deactivating a cloaking device were seen as acts of cowardice by the Wookiees and Canderous Ordo, and his orders were even questioned by his own men." Is Canderous Ordo considering it an act of cowardice dependent on if he is present? If so it is the same as for the previous objection.
 * 15) *Revan needs context.
 * 16) *The Jedi Civil War needs context.
 * 17) *Star Map needs some explanation as to what it is.
 * 18) *"This does not result in any alignment change." This may be confusing to those who haven't played the game, therefore explain a bit.
 * 19) *I'll take another look after you address these :).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:08, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) The article should be at whatever he's called in the game - when he's selected by the player - with nickname. He's probably in the strategy guide. BtS needs work. Whole thing needs expansion. Have a look at some other KotOR NPC GAs to get an idea. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:23, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *I took care of the naming issue of this NPC. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Kilson's objections
 * 23) *I have not played the game in a year or two, but I do believe his men call him Mandalore on their datapads in the game. If this is true, then please change his name and address this in the article.
 * 24) *You should put in the intro about how he attack unarmed opponets and that Revan killed him during his search for the Star Forge. Overall, when your done the intro should be at least a good sized paragragh.
 * 25) * I know this dude only appears in the Shadowlands, so hence the large abudence shadows and overall blackness, but the main image is very dark and it's hard to see the guy. If you can find an image that's better quality, you should put it up, but if you can't it's fine.
 * 26) **I have uploaded a new image that is clearer. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Much better, thank you. Kilson Likes PIE 1:39, 10 March 09 (UTC)
 * 28) *Address these and the previous objections properly and I will support it. The aricle has potential, and it's a lot better than half the stuff I've written. :) Kilson Likes PIE 23:33, 07 March 09 (UTC)
 * 29) Cylka:
 * 30) *I don't believe that you can claim he is a Human since that is not stated anywhere in the game.
 * 31) *Nevertheless, he had been ordered to test the stealth field generators, and he followed the order to the letter. - Who ordered him to test the generators? Furthermore, this information needs to be introduced earlier in the article as a way to explain why they were there.
 * 32) *Revan and his companions drew the Mandalorian poachers out by unequipping their weapons and entering clearings marked with Wookiee corpses. - First, "unequipping" sounds too much like game mechanics. I would change it to something such as hiding or putting away their weapons. Second, this needs more context. You need to explain that Grrrwahrr told Revan that if the Mandalorians saw the group's weapons, they wouldn't show themselves.
 * 33) *It would be worthwhile to expand on what happened after Revan inserted the datapad into the swoop bike. This is after all the moment when the Commander shows up, and it should be detailed as to what happens.
 * 34) *In the P/T you could add in that he fought with both a melee weapon and a blaster, for example. Add in as much detail as you can.
 * 35) *I believe that you can expand a bit on the dialog between Canderous and the Commander.
 * 36) *You need to explain the second point in the Bts more clearly. First you need to state that this is in the game, and give a brief explanation about what it means to get light or dark side points in the game.
 * 37) *Please take care of these objections, and I'll look over the article again. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I will review this article in the near future, but I would like to make one comment now. So far I have read of three requests to change the name of this article. I would advise not changing the name of the article, until the name of the NPC can actually be determined. Otherwise there are going to be a mass of broken redirects and a mess in the article. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:45, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I have played through the quest, and his name appears as "Mandalorian Commander," however I have moved the article name to "Mandalorian commander" per the de-capitalization guidelines. The KotOR games actually capitalize almost every name, so you can't always go by that. He also retains the nickname since he is only one of many commanders. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:11, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Darth Bandon

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:58, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I think it's OK now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:58, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

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Unidentified Imperial captain (asteroid victim)

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:54, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Believe me, I tried to come up with a clever comment, but I couldn't think of any.

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 * 1) Nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:59, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * 1) It is hard to tell, due to the fact it is a black and white hologram, but the main image makes it appear that his hair color is black, and if so, you should put that in the infobox. Kilson likes PIE 19:49, 09 March 09 (UTC)
 * 2) *That's really kind of impossible to tell. The holograms in the film are in a bluish haze with no real color. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:54, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Hiridiu crystal

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 22:36, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I followed Kaiburr crystal in terms of section headings, as well as template use. I can add eras if need be, but I'm not sure it is as appropriate for a mineral as an artifact.

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3B3-1204

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:12, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: No mention in Insider's Guide

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3B3-888

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:12, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: No mention in Insider's Guide

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