Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Nuvo Vindi


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nuvo Vindi

 * Nominated by: Dark Lord Trayus 03:13, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first article and nom. :D I'm a man now!

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Looked over article (and edited), and it looks good to me. -- CC7567 [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] talk 06:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 23:51, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka  -talk- 00:11, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Looks great. Artoo-Droid--A strong belief can be more powerful than any army. 03:41, 24 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Good job -- SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:40, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:25, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:10, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A quick look from Soresu
 * 2) *Good to see you having a go at a GA. A few preliminaries:
 * 3) ** Infobox should be sourced.
 * 4) ***All sourced up.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ** There should be no sourcing in the intro.
 * 6) ***Desourced.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ** There must be a source at the end of each paragraph.
 * 8) ***Paragraphically sourced.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ** It is possible that his underground laboratory was built in this year, during the Trade Federation Invasion of Naboo. This is speculation and should be removed, unless it is specifically stated in the source.
 * 10) ***Its in the guide, towards the bottom in the trivia & details section.Dark Lord Trayus 05:18, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****I still not too sure it should be there. I was thinking about moving it to the bts. Can any ACs butt in? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:41, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *****I'll butt in here. I think that this does need to be moved to the Bts. All we know for certain is that the laboratory is there, and Vindi is using it. Cylka  -talk- 05:16, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *I will take a more thorough look after these are done. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 09:16, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Are you sure you've covered the entire episode? Looking at the episode guide, I can find a number of facts that are not presented in the article. I think it could still use some expansion. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:58, 28 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Cylka's first look:
 * 16) * You still have instances of redundant ref tags in some of the paragraphs. Please double check the article.
 * 17) **I'm not very good at this sourcing stuff, so im not 100% sure where tags are needed and where they're not. Could you help me haha?Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Alright, you need to fix the reference tags throughout the whole article. First, the ref tags in the infobox are incorrect. I have already changed the first one for you . Please pay attention to the    as they are only to be used in the infobox references. Now,   form is used the first time you are using a new reference, the next time you want to use the reference in the article you want to use this form  . Please go through the article and change all of the reference tags. If you are having problems, let me know.
 * 19) **Hahaha i'm having many many many sourcing issues. Haha i tried the nowiki thingy or whatever its called and now its appearing on the page and im utterly confused haha.  I feel really stupid when it comes to this stuff - can you help me? :E Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Words such as "Unfortunately" and "Luckily" are POVish, and they need to be removed. Please go through the article and make that you maintain a neutral point-of-view.
 * 21) **I removed the luckily, but I'm not sure the unfortunately needs to be removed because it specifically says "Unfortunately for Dr. Vindi". So its not really POV if it says that its unfortunate for him, right?Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Who specifically says "unfortunately"? Articles should be written with as much neutrality as possible, so if unfortunately isn't the sentiment of someone specific, I feel that it would be better to leave it out.
 * 23) ****Removed. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Just from reading the episode guides, I can see that you can expand on the Virus is released section. Since this an important scene for Vindi, his actions should be fairly detailed.
 * 25) **Expanded. I think I have everyhing now.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * You haven't included anything about Vindi being cuffed and transported on the shuttle. His capture, and later events need to be detailed.
 * 27) **Added.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Although brilliant, he evidently suffered problems with his sanity following his disappearance. - We don't know what he was like before his disappearance. He may have had problems with his sanity before as well. This is speculation, and needs to be removed.
 * 29) **Fixed. And expanded P&T.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * The Bts needs to be expanded to include information such as in which episodes he appeared. This is also where you should include the speculation about the lab.
 * 31) **Info added.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * The character was fitted with a noticable German accent, reminiscent of a stereotypical Nazi scientist. - If you can't source this, it needs to be removed. Only information that is sourced can be included in the article.
 * 33) **Thats something i've removed several times. I dunno why, but someone keeps adding it. Its gone for now.Dark Lord Trayus 21:06, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *Please take care of these objections, and I'll go through the article again. Cylka  -talk- 05:13, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Cylka's second look:
 * 36) * The first paragraph of the Disappearance section is unsourced, as well as the next to last paragraph in the Virus is released section.
 * 37) **Sourced. I think I did it correctly. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * When you first introduce Vindi's laboratory, you should mention exactly where it was located, not just that it was on Naboo.
 * 39) **Done.Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * How did Amidala and Binks become involved in the investigation? You jump from the Queen sending Typho to investigate, to Amidal and Binks without a transition.
 * 41) **Done I believe.Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * tactical droid,[2] which carried a slug-beetle native to the perlote tree. Because of this, Senator Padmé Amidala and Representative Jar Jar Binks started looking for the virus's source in the Gungan swamp lands - Because of what, did Amidala and Binks start looking in the swamp lands? You need to make it clear that they started searching in the swamps only because the tree was found in the swamp.
 * 43) **I think I fixed it. I removed the tree but kept the beetle. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Both in the introduction and in the article, it is not clear what sort of positions Kenobi, Skywalker, and Tano had in the Jedi Order. You need to clarify this.
 * 45) **Fixed.Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * Why are the Jedi now involved in the investigation? How and when did they come to Naboo? This needs to be clarified a bit.
 * 47) **Got it in there. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * During his flight to the hangar, Vindi remotely activated the bombs, causing greater problems for Kenobi's clone bomb squad. - Why did this cause greater problems for the bomb squad?
 * 49) **I explained a bit, but other than that isnt it kind of self-explanitory that active bombs would be a problem for a bomb squad? Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Yes, but were the bombs on a timer or something else that would make them more problematic than usual?
 * 51) * The droid had snuck back into the bomb storage room and reactivated one of them, - What had the droid reactivated? A bomb? or something else? This is a bit unclear.
 * 52) **Done. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * In the Bts, I think it would be a good idea to add in how long ago before these events, had the Trade Federation invaded Naboo.
 * 54) **Done. Dark Lord Trayus 23:57, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) *The article is almost ready. :-) Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:01, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * I think it would be better if you could combine the last two paragraphs in the P/T. Try to avoid short paragraphs as much as possible.
 * 57) **Combined. Dark Lord Trayus 20:08, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * Finally, it appears that the introduction needs to be expanded a bit more in order to include a good summary of the information found in the article proper. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 14:10, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **Expanded. Dark Lord Trayus 20:08, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * The image of Vindi pointing his blaster cannot be in the Discovery section, since it does not apply to those events. You need to have a different image there. The earlier virus image was OK, but see if an image related to those specific events is available. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:28, 20 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) **Taken care of. Dark Lord Trayus 17:28, 21 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) Soresu's final objections
 * 63) * In the body, you say that he was 'working' for the Confederacy, but in the intro, you merely say 'associated'. I would try to keep the consistency. If there is canon evidence that he was employed, then the intro should relect that.
 * 64) **Kept associated and changed "working for" to "working with". Dark Lord Trayus 01:25, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * Similar to the last objection, the body says that he became 'obsessed' with recreating the virus, while the intro says that he was 'tasked' with the job.
 * 66) **Changed tasked to obsessed. Dark Lord Trayus 01:25, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * planned to release on key Republic star systems. Why would he have any reason to release the virus on the Republic systems? I would suggest context on the Clone Wars when it is first mentioned in the intro.
 * 68) **How do you suggest I do that without it disrupting the essential info in the intro. Just wondering because Argyus, an FA, has no context whatsoever in the intro. Dark Lord Trayus 01:25, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *** Just because Argyus is an FA doesn't always make it right. Something like Nuvo Vindi was a male scientist employed by the Perma families until he went missing in 32 BBY. Reappearing on Naboo as a Confederacy of Independent Systems scientist during the Clone Wars, a conflict between the Galactic Republic and the Confederacy, he became obsessed with recreating the eradicated Blue Shadow Virus, a deadly water-borne plague that resulted in instantaneous death. This gives context on the Clone Wars without disrupting the flow too much. It also removes the redundant first sentence (something which I just realised). Of course, feel free to mix a few of the words to match your own writing style.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:32, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ****You were right, that does look much better. Dark Lord Trayus 00:39, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * By 22 BBY, Vindi reappeared, and was found to be working for the Confederacy of Independent Systems in an underground laboratory in the eastern swamps of Naboo. The Clone Wars should be mentioned here. I would suggest In 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars, Vindi reappeared, and was found to be working for the Confederacy of Independent Systems in an underground laboratory in the eastern swamps of Naboo. Oh, and with context on the Clone Wars.
 * 72) **Fixed. Dark Lord Trayus 01:25, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * Some context on Coruscant and Iego in the body.
 * 74) **Fin. Dark Lord Trayus 01:25, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *It's almost there. You've done a great job expanding it. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:47, 25 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 77) * Mention in the intro that Kenobi and Skywalker were the ones who went to Iego.
 * 78) **Mentioned. Dark Lord Trayus 08:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) * Rex should probably be mentioned at least once in the article.
 * 80) **Got him in there twice ;) Dark Lord Trayus 08:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * Context on the Reeksa plant and the LaserWeb Defense Station is needed.
 * 82) **I think I contextified enough. Dark Lord Trayus 08:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) *Nice job for your first nom. Grand Moff Tranner[[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:14, 5 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) **Thank you very much. Dark Lord Trayus 08:20, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * One more thing: I believe that it was mentioned in "Mystery of a Thousand Moons" that the Separatists had abandoned Iego; therefore, mentioning that the LaserWeb's destruction meant the loss of Iego for the CIS would be false. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 11:11, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) *Good catch, thanks. Dark Lord Trayus 18:51, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Haha I actually think I made it worse with the whole sourcing thing... sorry Dark Lord Trayus 21:08, 7 March 2009 (UTC)