User:Lord PG 13 of Ogden Minor

Lord PG 13 was born in an unknown location on the planet Ogden Minor. It was Lord PG 13 whom discovered vast honey depositories in the core of his planet. After testing the honey, he discovered the secret of the force; that the chosen one was indeed honey. Through deep meditation and vast consumption of liquified Focus Factor, PG 13 acheived powers known to few men of the galaxy. PG 13 became Lord PG 13, and enslaved the native Terbeasts of his planet to mining the honey core of Ogden Minor. However, one night Jesus came to him in a dream, telling him to stop the mining and use his powers for peace. Lord PG 13 abided, and stopped the mining of the core, only to realize that his dream was not of Jesus, but was of the Sith Lord Darth Glasscock, appearing to him in Jesus-form to weaken him and his planet. Lord PG 13 was outraged when his sidekick, Sargeant Bitch, informed him of this. Lord PG 13 decided to prepare his forces for war after dinner, but to his dismay, Darth Glasscock had wiped out the planet by dessert. Left as the last living being on the planet, PG 13 battled Darth Glasscock in a showdown of epic proportions. However, Glasscock ripped off PG 13's left rear ass cheek, leaving him permanently half-assed. Glasscock, seeing that this was punishment enough for PG 13, decided not to kill him. Instead, Glasscock ate all the honey of Ogden Minor over a three month period known as Mass Cock Consumption. Glasscock left the planet, leaving PG-13 and his left rear ass cheek as the last things left on the entire planet. They unsuccessfully tried to repopulate before PG 13 went into a meditation/hibernation, spent searching the universe for a way to get back at Darth Glasscock.