User:Vladius Magnum/Canon Poem

Don't send Jawas

to the Battle of Taprawa

If you do I will be sore afraid

Lucasfilm doesn't care

They'll just play with their hair

While all hell breaks loose, they get paid

Dark Forces was cool

It made some people druel

Just getting the Death Star plans made them geek out

But that's all ruined now

I wish I knew how

Lucasfilm became such a sellout

8 separate plans, maybe more

It's time to steal steal steal galore!

I can get a set for my aunt Helga,

My cousins,

Just ring up the Empire, they have dozens!

What is this, some kind of Zelda?

Now the shuttle Tydirium,

that's a scary story

How many times was it stolen,

It's occupants, left sad and gory?

And that Karen Traviss,

she's a sour tart

Tell her her numbers are incorrect

She'll just fart

Clones Clones Clones!

How many called Kaminoan phones?!

Palpatine, Thrawn, Darth Maul, the weird Fett guy,

All that DNA, buried in a continuity pigsty!

More Video Games,

The strategy type

Called Empire at War, it generated hype!

But it strangled our throats

Those LucasArts goats

Made a game that was sorely lacking

With Obi-Wan alive

fighting with a jive

While droids on WAYLAND kept me coughing and hacking!

Darth Krayt, who is this guy?

He ravages canon, with bold new pigsties

Called "The New Sith", "Darth B4d Gye" or "Darth 2thpaest

He's not Jacen Solo

He's not Sans Holo

He's a Yuuzhan Vong known as Leeland Chee, or "Tasty Taste"!

And now, I hope you've learned this lesson

Don't be canon guessin'

While others are nice and sound

Be like Jedi, Abel G. Pena, or Weird Al Yankovic

Let a smooth canon blanket abound.