User:Jagged Fel/Quotes

Here is a collection of quotes attributed to Humorbot5/Elliot Francis Tomlinson

"Get Out!"

- Repeated line

"Get Offa Mah Property!!!"

- To some punk who was on Humorbot5's property, seconds before he was obliterated.

"I AM DE CHAMPION!!!"

- Upon getting "Legendary" status on all the awards on Star Wars Battlefront II

"I am drunk wid power"

- said in an arabian accent

"Hi, I'm Elliot Tomlinson, You may know me from....Well actually I haven't been in anything yet....But in the future, you may know me from something...."

- From "How Not To Make a Star Wars Movie"

"So, I see that you have put on some....weight..." "I have had my share of force pie..." "um Ok..." (To audience)"I can see that today's guest is rather....Weird." (To Obi-Wan) "So...Do you think this "Weight" is good for your image?" (Attempting to perform a Jedi Mind trick) "You didn't see anything" "um, yes I did."

- In an interview with Obi-Wan Kenobi in "How Not To Make A Star Wars Movie"

"Uh, well thats for protection...Just in case a bounty hunter..A bunch of Bounty Hunters......uh Jedi...Yes....Uh well thats all we have time for. See you next week...."

- Explaining the presence of a rilfe inside his blazer in "How Not to Make A Star Wars Movie"

"Yeah, I got her home...and she had a massive Jabba, where her Hutt should be...Totally Gross....Yeah."

- In "How Not to Make A Star Wars Movie

"Alright, you're gonna train me a Jedi Trick, now! How can I get him, to fly up there..? I've seen you do it, I've seen you do it so how do I do it...Tell me now!" "Fly up where?" "I want to pick him up with my hand, like that, like that And you're going to show me how....you're going to show me how! Now How do I do it? How Do I do it? How do I do it?" "You, you go inside yourself...." "I don't like this crap" (Kicks the jedi) "Do you want me to shoot you in the leg? Do you want me to shoot you in the head? This gun is loaded! Now show me how to do a trick!" "You have to go inside yourself, inside yourself, find the force! Force surrounds all!" "I see...You think I'm dumb don't cha? Don't cha? Up against the wall! Up against the wall! Turn around....One wrong move, I'll kill ya!" (to other Jedi) "You, you do that too! NOW!"

- Holding up two Jedi in"How Not To Make A Star Wars Movie"

"Have a nice trip! I'm gonna go dump some Rebels in the ol' Sarlacc pit...."

- The very end of "How Not To Make A Star Wars Movie"

"Hi again, and welcome to "How Not To Make A Mafia Movie" I'm sure you remember me from "How Not To Make a Star Wars Movie"...And if you don't remember me fromt that...Then you should go back! And Watch it again!!!"

- Introducing "How Not To Make A Mafia Movie

"NO! We can't do another %&$@ing take!" "&%$£!, aw, I'll be in my trailer...." "There is no Trailer you $£@%er!" "What the...?"

- To a fellow actor in "How Not To Make A Cop Movie"

"Hey Phil, how's it going? Really? That's gross...No its gross...Yes its gross...No, Don't laugh, its gross...So we're agreed, its gross. Oh? You disagree? Well you got places to be pal!? SO DO I!!! Yipes! Just Yipes..." "Who was that?" "Oh, it was just Phil..Y'know from the Police Department?" (Nods) "yeah, some poor $£&@"$%£ got his head BLOWN off, down in a place called Hoopers." "Yipes...." "Yeah, thats what i said...." "poor @#?%$£&..." "Yeah...."

- On the phone to a guy named Phil...The talking with a random geezer..."How Not To Make A Cop Movie"

"You ain't going no where unless you teach me a Jedi trick!"

- In "How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel"

"What do you mean!? "Revenge Of The Sith" was not as good as "Empire Strikes Back." What....? Were you watching it blindfold or something? Or are you just stupid.......? No, I'm sorry, I can't ever see you again...No...No....You're an idiot, goodbye...."(To audience) "Revenge of the Sith..."

- "How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel"

"WAITAMINUTE!!! You're wearing the dark scarf of the dark side!" "Yeah...I'm also wearing the dark pants of the dark side...Calvin Klein" "A JEDI SHALL KNOW NO UNDERPANTS!"

- Being threatened by a Jedi, for wearing dark side clothing...How Not To Make a Star Wars Sequel.

"You've been a thorn in my side too long Jedi! I'll wear whatever Scarf, Underpants or clothing accessory I like!"

- Choking the Jedi to death, How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel.

"You didn't see anything"

- Attempting a Jedi Mind trick on the audience...How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel.