Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Shaela Nuur


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Shaela Nuur

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:57, December 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This was one of the first I ever planned to do.

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great job, Trayus.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:18, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks very good. Keep up the good work, Trayus! --Jawaman Want to buy a used droid? 18:14, December 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 23:06, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:37, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Excellent work. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:42, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 16:57, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) —Tommy  9281 05:25, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few for you&hellip;
 * 2) * Please capatilize all instances of "Master".
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * In the third paragraph of the intro, I think it would be good for the Jedi Civil War to be mentioned.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * and he believed her to be his most promising student yet. Is the "yet" necessary?
 * 7) **Not really.
 * 8) * In the second paragraph of "The Great Hunt", can it be mentioned that Duron was a cousin of the former Sith Lord Ulic Qel-Droma? I think it's noteworthy enough to be mentioned.
 * 9) **I think it's useful information, but I'm afraid it would detract from the paragraph's flow and drag the focus away from her a bit much. It also may be confusing after having already stated that Kun was a Sith Lord, and I don't want to have to go into any more history of the Great Sith War if it's not absolutely necessary.
 * 10) ***No problem, I understand.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:18, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * as well as Cale Berkona and an unidentified Cathar Jedi. Please remove the unidentified from here.
 * 12) **Knew I should have taken that out. Done.
 * 13) * Can an article be created for Nuur's datapad? It would be similar to the Calo Nord's datapad article.
 * 14) **I've redlinked it for now. I'll get to making it sometime soon.
 * 15) * In the Categories, is there any source that explicitly states that she was a Jedi Sentinel? You might want to ask around about that. Maybe Leland Chee could answer that.
 * 16) **No source whatsoever. That was just left over from the original article. My bad for not taking it out.
 * 17) *That's it. Impressive work, Trayus, would like to see you nom Qel-Droma and Saresh.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:30, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thank you very much. And I may sometime get to them sometime soon. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:16, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Attack of the Clone
 * 20) * Can the "Tragedy on Korriban" be renamed to a less POV-oriented title?
 * 21) **Done.
 * 22) ***...eh. The inclusion of the "tragedy" part still strikes a small gong inside my head, but I'll let it slide as long as no one else finds an issue with it.  CC7567  (talk) 23:06, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * Please clarify the terentatek/Terentatek capitalization that is a little inconsistent throughout the article.
 * 24) **Done.
 * 25) * Can you clarify whom the Legacy quote is directed at?
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) *Other than that, nothing that glaringly leaps out to me.  CC7567  (talk) 21:28, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:00, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) Quick pasta toss:
 * 30) * What is the justification for using the Dark Jedi infobox? It appears from statements in the text that she was either of realization or in the act of redemption when dying. There is far more to support a standard Jedi box than a Dark Jedi box.
 * 31) **In her final lines in Shadows and Light, she renounces the Jedi Order, saying that neither it nor the council matter to her anymore. All that matters is revenge, etc.. Also, apologizing to Ood doesn't really constitute a redemption.
 * 32) ***I will think on this some more and talk to more Inqs, as I see no justification for a "Dark Jedi" rather than one who has fallen away.
 * 33) * Next, what proof is there that the two terentateks that Revan faced were the same two who killed Nuur? What says this in KotOR?
 * 34) **No proof I could find. It's been addressed.
 * 35) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:08, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 08:28, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) Main course of pasta:
 * 38) * "Her remains went untouched for decades until they were found forty years later by the amnesiac Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, during the Jedi Civil War." There is no need to call Revan a Dark Lord of the Sith here. He was redeemed and knowledgeable of his past by this point based upon the canon order for the battles/missions in KotOR. The Leviathan encounter has already happened, for example.
 * 39) **Removed.
 * 40) * "A female Human, Shaela Nuur was born around the era of the Old Sith Wars." Does Shadows and Light explicitly state this, or is this an extrapolation? Depending upon the source, the Old Sith Wars either start 5 or 20 years prior to the Great Hunt.
 * 41) **I didn't like the sentence anyway so I removed the "born" and changed it to "lived during," which can be sourced to the comic, which I've done.
 * 42) * "As a leading participant in the Great Hunt, Nuur developed a strong passion for her work&hellip;" I am most certain this does not come from KotOR, as I cannot find it anywhere in the dialog file.
 * 43) **My mistake, those few sentences are supposed to be sourced to the comic. Fixed.
 * 44) * "Nuur commonly wore&hellip;" This is technically POV. There is nothing that says this. Rephrase it to reflect when she wore it rather than a blanket statement that could be inaccurate.
 * 45) **Done.
 * 46) * The entire mini-paragraph about Nur's physical features seems plopped in and does not flow well. Please reorder this section a bit. The second paragraph of P&T is a great tie-in for the relationship subsection, which, by the way, will be addressed below.
 * 47) **Done.
 * 48) * Based upon the LG, I prefer this to be a full section rather than subsection. Please tweak this, as flow between the P&T, P&A, and Rel. sections will need to be slightly adjusted.
 * 49) **Since it's a single relationship, can't it be included under P&T? I would understand the need for a whole other section if it were multiple relationships being covered, but it doesn't seem necessary here. Especially considering that the LG doesn't mention anything in regards to relationship sections.
 * 50) ***My apologies, as I thought the LG had it in there. Nevertheless, there is a substantial amount of precedent for this section in featured articles, and I think it is very necessary considering the dynamics between the hunting trio, and also between Nuur and Ood Bnar. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:28, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) ****Okay, I've added the relationships section. Give it a look-see and tell me what you think. You were right about it being a worth-while addition&mdash;the article is much better off with it in there. Thank you for that advice, and sorry for taking so long to address it. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Nuur carried a yellow-bladed lightsaber which, according to Ood Bnar, was well-balanced and clearly defined, exemplary of excellent lightsaber construction." This sentence should not stand alone. Please tie this in somewhere in the first half of the main P&A paragraph.
 * 53) **Done.
 * 54) *I will continue to think on and talk with others about the infobox. Otherwise, what I've listed is basically all I really could find to date. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:46, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) **I think when it comes to a character like this where it is so obviously arguable, the infobox color shouldn't be a major issue. After reading all sources covering her, it seems apparent to me that she fell to the dark side, renounced the Jedi Order, and died immediately after. I'd like to hear more about why you think she was redeemed by mentally apologizing to Ood, though. And thanks for the full review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:56, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ***I can deal with it only because she denounced the Order, as you attest. I do not have the source for that, so I am trusting you. That said, had she not denounced but merely acted out of a moment of dark side rage with penance in the end, as sources indicate, she would not have been a "dark Jedi." The key to this is having denounced the Order. Other Inqs may disagree, but that is the only reason why I will not stand in the way of the infobox. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:28, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **** For the record, since I am not sure if has been seen, one objection is still outstanding. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:38, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *****My apologies&mdash;I saw the objection, but haven't had time to address it yet, as it will take some time to flesh out a relationship section. I'll get it either tonight or in the next few days, but thank you for the reminder, it's much appreciated. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:28, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ******Okay, now it's taken care of. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) "After a week on the planet, Qel-Droma began to feel Korriban's dark side effects. In their room in Dreshdae, he confided in Nuur his doubts on the progress of the mission and explained the pain he felt when killing the terentateks." I assume you mean terentateks killed on Korriban? This is confusin, because above you stated that thee was only one on Korriban.
 * 61) *In the story, he's referring to Terentateks in general, as in all the Terentateks he's killed over the course of the hunt. I've removed the "the"&mdash;hopefully that helps. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:28, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) Blacklist:
 * 63) * Slight context on Massassi, Tuk'ata, and wraid.
 * 64) **Done.
 * 65) * "reformed Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Revan..." Was he still Darth Revan at this point in his life?
 * 66) **Nope, Darth's been removed.
 * 67) * In several instances you speak of a "bond" between Shaela and her companions. Is this a Force bond? If so, please specify & link accordingly.
 * 68) **In KotOR, it's simply referred to as a bond, not specifically a Force bond. It could be, but then again it could also just be a strong synergistic friendship or whatever. I would prefer the former explanation.
 * 69) *That's all, pretty good. —Tommy 9281 01:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) **Thanks so much for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 07:41, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Many thanks to Jedi Kasra for help with several sources. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 17:12, December 13, 2009 (UTC)