Wookieepedia:Good article nominations



This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

What is a Good article?
A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.

A Good article has the following attributes.

1. It is well written. In this respect:


 * (a) it has compelling prose, and is readily comprehensible to non-specialist readers;
 * (b) it follows a logical structure, introducing the topic and then grouping together its coverage of related aspects; where appropriate, it contains a succinct lead section summarizing the topic, and the remaining text is organized into a system of hierarchical sections (particularly for longer articles);
 * (c) it follows the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies;
 * (d) necessary technical terms or jargon are briefly explained in the article itself, or an active link is provided.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable. In this respect:


 * (a) it provides references to any and all sources used for its material;
 * (b) sources should be selected in accordance with the guidelines for reliable sources;
 * (c) it contains no elements of original research.

3. It is broad in its coverage, addressing all major aspects of the topic (this requirement is slightly weaker than the "comprehensiveness" required by WP:FA, and allows shorter articles and broad overviews of large topics to be listed);.

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy. In this respect:


 * (a) viewpoints are represented fairly and without bias;
 * (b) all significant points of view are fairly presented, but not asserted, particularly where there are or have been conflicting views on the topic.

5. It is stable, i.e., it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.

6. It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic. In this respect:


 * (a) the images are properly sourced and have succinct and descriptive captions;
 * (b) a lack of images does not in itself prevent an article from achieving Good Article status.

Nomination of Good articles
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all six requirements stated above. If an article has a net total of five votes of support (+5) after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here.

(+3)
Support


 * 1) I'm nominating this article because, well, I think it's a good one! I really put a lot of work into it, and it doesn't require regular maintaining.  I believe it meets all the requirements to be nominated for a Good Article. Thanks!  Tommy9281 ( Ouch!! ) 2pm, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:40, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Graestan ( Talk ) 03:50, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The infobox must be completely sourced.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) ***The infobox is still unsourced. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * The introduction is far too short. Please expand. It should be a good sized paragraph considering the length of this article.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * Two things here. One, you pipelink Republic forces to some Rocket Jumper. This seems strange and unnecessary. Was this the only individual fighting in the battle? Also, briefly explain who the Naddists were: "to find a massive battle taking place between Republic forces and the Naddists"
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) ***Good, but if the information on the Rocket Jumper was pertinent, don't just remove it entirely. If it's essential, still include in the prose somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:11, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * Elaborate on what you mean here: "...Nadd realized Ommin had failed"
 * 12) * Briefly explain what space grazers are to give this sentence greater substance: " Aleema used her sorcery to create illusions of space grazers to fool the fleet"
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Terrible is a bit POV. Please reword: "her Battle Meditation allowing the Republic forces to ignore the terrible apparitions"
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Please explain exactly why they were defeated. The aforementioned bombers? "the Republic detachment was forced to withdraw"
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * I'm guessing he's doing this as part of his vengeance streak. Explain what his intentions were by infiltrating: "Qel-Droma soon after attempted to infiltrate Cinnagar, the capital world the of Empress Teta system"
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Please provide a brief description of what the Iron Citadel is: " and had Qel-Droma interrogated and tortured in the dungeons of the Iron Citadel"
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) ***You still have not explained what this is. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:15, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Addressed.
 * 24) * You never actually specify that he had turned to the dark side, just that he was administered a poison that would ensure his doing so. Please clarify: "The vengeful former Jedi repelled the attack"
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * This clausal confusion makes it seem as though Mandalore the Indomitable, a she, is feigning affection, which I'm sure is not the case: "Although she feigned affection for him once he returned, Mandalore the Indomitable made Ulic aware of Aleema's treachery"
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * Please come up with a better section title than Endgame. Very uncreative.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * Please reword this to avoid using corrupt twice in a row: "She was naive to the fact that the dark side had a corruptive nature, and would surely twist and corrupt her."
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * Additionally, that sentence needs to be sourced. You'll see the tag.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * You capitalized "Sith Sorceress" in the image caption, but do not do so in the article. Choose one, the correct one, and stick with it.
 * 35) **Addressed.
 * 36) * Whoa, where did this information come from? This definitely needs to be included into the main biography section somwhere: "when she had Lord Keto lowered into a vat of molten carbonite."
 * 37) **Addressed.
 * 38) * As does this: "Her short-temper was displayed again when she burned tutor Korus alive for simply spilling a drink on her."
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) * Source this sentence: "She was not above using her powers to horrify and terrorize those around her."
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) * Please reword this, which basically reads she "energized by energy": "...seemingly energized by them"
 * 43) **Addressed.
 * 44) * Please paraphrase this direct quote: "telling him, "keep steady, we are going to live!""
 * 45) **Addressed.
 * 46) * Please reword. Up to par with what? "Her Force sense was also up to par (more so than Satal's)"
 * 47) **Addressed.
 * 48) * This sentence seems dubious. Did she truly often conjure up things? Or did she only do it once? Also, either seems to suggest a previous sentence in which you mention she was not limited in something, but one does not exist. Please reword this sentence as appropriate: "Aleema preferred using Sith magic to conjure apparitions, usually of Adegan eels or other hideous lizards, but she was not limited there either."<?s>
 * 49) **Addressed.
 * 50) * In the past when? "In the past she created mass illusions"
 * 51) **Addressed.
 * 52) * Please reword this sentence. Nothing in the article implies that she was all-powerful: "She was not all-powerful, however."
 * 53) **Addressed.
 * 54) * Please paraphrase instead: "she brushed off the attack saying to Satal, "Tell me, Satal – what warrior can stand who believes his sword has ceased to be a sword?""
 * 55) **Addressed.
 * 56) * Please reword: "into snakes that proceeded to attack the attackers."
 * 57) **Addressed.
 * 58) * Just confirming that this was indeed more than one supernova: "the ensuing supernovae"
 * 59) **Addressed.
 * 60) * I would really like to see the BTS expanded. Please include sentences including who first created the character, in what source she made her first appearance, and any other notable appearances that greatly expanded her character.
 * 61) **Working on.
 * 62) * The source list needs to be organized by real-word publication dates
 * 63) **Working on.
 * 64) * Please organize the categories into alphabetical order.
 * 65) **Addressed.
 * 66) *Some advice:
 * 67) **You often add double spaces between periods and such. Although this doesn't show up in the article, it's really unnecessary. Just single space.
 * 68) **I'm seeing a number of instances in which you pipelink important concepts by just giving them a vague description instead of actually specifying what these things are; i.e., planets, names of starships, etc. I've gone through and changed these things for you, but only use pipelinking as a last resort. Always specify what it is you're talking about for greater comprehension.
 * 69) **Always remember to italicize ship names. I've cleaned these up for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:54, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) From the Editor-in-Chief:
 * 71) * Mention Ulic's method of recruiting Mandalore.
 * 72) * Reword the BtS sentence to say something about the shared name, but don't speculate as to ancestry. Also, add a blurb about her appearance information, i.e. which issues, who wrote her character, etc.
 * 73) **Now there's nothing about the later holders of the Keto name. Can this be rectified? Graestan ( Talk ) 03:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * There's a redlink to an audio dramatization in the reflist that might have an article to link to.
 * 75) *We're taking this to FA eventually, so let me know if you want any assistance.
 * 76) * Graestan ( Talk ) 21:30, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 77) **I fixed the red link parts, Graestan. I'm also interested in FA status, but I didn't want to reach big just yet.  Thanks for the help,  Tommy9281 ( Ouch!! ) 6:22pm EST, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) In the article's BtS, it is stated that Sebban Keto may be a relative of Satal and Aleema, but according to this article from Wizards.com, it says that Sebban is "A descendant of the same family that produced Satal Keto". Since Aleema is from that family (She was Satal's cousin), that needs to be incorporated in the article somewhere, and removed from the Bts.  Greyman ( Talk ) 15:06, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 79) The first couple of paragraphs are huge. Can they be broken up a bit? It will allow the pics to be placed better also. --Eyrezer 23:05, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) *I think I've addressed this. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:05, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) Not an objection per se, but an image reshuffle wouldn't go amiss, and I think could improve the article's look. Some of the images aren't of the highest quality, either. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:05, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Tommy, since you nominated this, feel free to sign your name in the support section so known it's your nomination and that you'll be looking after it :) Greyman ( Talk ) 14:11, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Tommy, one should never strike another user's objections. I've unstricken them; in future, leave a note saying you've addressed an objection and wait for the objector to review and strike him- or herself. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:31, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Toprawa, Thanks for the feedback. I'll work on correcting those things which I was unable to fix immediately.  I really appreciate your input.  Tommy9281 ( Ouch!! ) 6:43pm EST, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * A few pointers: The infobox must be completely sourced, including the "Era" field. I've sourced this for you, but make sure to get it all next time. Consequently, the "Name" field should never be sourced. Also, except for very rare instances, the intro should never be sourced. It shouldn't have any information that isn't already included in the main body of the article itself. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:15, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

(+3)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Returning the favor. Also, very interesting and informative read. Jorrel[[Image:Wiki-shrinkable.png|20px]]Fraajic  23:00, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Graestan ( Talk ) 12:13, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * "While on a reconnaissance mission during the early years of the Galactic Civil War, Breg crash-landed on the planet Kalist VI, site of an Imperial labor colony, where he was imprisoned, though his Imperial captors were unaware of his Rebel affiliations." – A bit ponderous; please reword and clarify.
 * 3) **Broken up, reworded, and clarified.
 * 4) * Stating that a Rebel is "in the service of" the Alliance is a bit odd-sounding to me. Remember, these are resistance fighters, not regular military.
 * 5) **Reworded
 * 6) * "Although captured by the Empire and imprisoned in the planet's labor colony, Breg's Rebel affiliations remained safely concealed." – Reword to specify it was Breg, and not his affiliations, that were captured and imprisoned.
 * 7) **Clarified
 * 8) * "While at the labor camp he made quick friends with another prisoner slightly younger than he, the seventeen-year-old named Dak Ralter, son of political prisoners, who was born into captivity on Kalist VI." – Again, a bit unwieldy.
 * 9) **Broken up
 * 10) * "had quite an impression on the impressionable" – Yeah.
 * 11) **Yeah.
 * 12) * "badly deteriorated" – Reads a bit redundantly, per the connotations on the word "badly."
 * 13) **Reworded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:49, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:48, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(+4)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:26, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 03:47, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Good stuff. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:10, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:22, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The introduction paragraph is virtually the exact same information in the biography section, just without the paragraph breaks. It just looks funny to read the intro, then the next section read the exact same information again, with no more information at all. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 20:50, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I reworded two verbs to change it up a little bit. The parts that are the most identical come from his info on the CCG card, which doesn't do anything to elaborate on his role as a "freighter captain." Adding anything to it and doing much to reword would really be extrapolation. If you could point out anything further you notice specifically, or could otherwise recommend how something might be reworded, I'll try and change it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:03, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **How about shortening it to just cover the basics of who he was and what he did. Then the Bio section can elaborate on it. Take a look now. If you don't like it, you can revert my edit. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 22:10, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ok, this is in response both to this and the talkpage message: I'm reverting this because this just makes the intro too short, for starters. An intro should cover all pertinent topics of the character, repeating what will be read in the intro. While this is sometimes an act of redundancy, in this case, given the short length of the article, it unfortunately exposes the redundancy to a great degree. There's no way to reword many of this without extrapolating, and this is just how short articles need to be. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:26, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Well, we'll agree to disagree on this. I don't believe the intro needs to be any longer than that. And all the pertinent information was still there, IMO. But I'll strike my objection. - 22:29, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(+3)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 06:32, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:52, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 20:51, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

(+3)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy9281 ( Maybe it is time to liberate YOU! ) 15:36, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:38, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:01, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Nonetheless Lord Keto was pleased, as the sale of carbonite was a beneficial part of Tetan economy." Rephrase.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Keto's son Satal, and his cousin Aleema had arrived at the station, escorted by the royal tutor Korus. Obviously unaware of their visit, Bearus allowed for the Emperor's children to join he and Lord Keto on the inspection." How was he obviously unaware of their visit?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Also, why did Keto not want them to come?
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * "Keto tried to have his children arrested, but when the guard reached for the control console to call for help, Aleema stopped him short by turning the console into a womp rat." Aleema was his niece though.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "With their uncle completely confounded, Aleema and Satal proclaimed themselves the new rulers of the Empress Teta system." Again, Satal was his son. Perhaps just call him the emperor.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * You use "while" in two consecutive sentences in “Final stages.”
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "While discussing their next plans, tutor Korus, whos face had been hideously disfigured by Aleema's sorcery, approached with wine for the Krath leaders." Change “whos”.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) *Overall, it's a nice article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:31, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) From Greyman:
 * 18) * Again, you don't need to necessarily use double references for everything like you've done. If the information is the same in both sources, just pick one appearance/source to use instead of over-referencing.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * The article appears too crammed with pictures, in my opinion. I suggest picking one or two pictures that you don't necessarily feel support the text, and remove them to make the article flow better.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * The Sources section needs to be formatted correctly, so that book titles are italicized.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * The infobox picture needs to be cropped&mdash;there is a black border present in the top right hand corner, among some other smaller places. Greyman http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:54, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * I figure that whatever else this may need, this is the place to find out. A little nervous about nominating an article I actually created & worked on all by myself... —Tommy9281 ( Maybe it is time to liberate YOU! ) 15:36, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks Chack for looking. I believe I fixed everything. Anything else, I'd be happy to fix. —Tommy9281 ( Maybe it is time to liberate YOU! ) 00:27, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks Greyman for looking, I believe everything is now addressed. If anything else is required, please let me know. —Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 19:24, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

(+2)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 12:12, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I remember making this article as a stub :P They grow up so fast. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:44, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

(+2)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 11:25, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I remember reading this in the databank way back at the beginning of What's the Story.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:09, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just one thing: any information on what happened to the "organics" after the station was hijacked?  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:27, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No, actually, which is strange. Thefourdotelipsis 13:20, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Thought so.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:09, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(+3)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy9281 ( Not these...untutored youths! ) 14:55, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good. This could become an FA soon too.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:41, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 02:12, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * I don’t think Ulic’s distress signal is needed.
 * 3) **Removed (sadly)
 * 4) * "The jedi fight for you. the Jedi die for you." Several things are wrong with this sentence.
 * 5) **Addressed--this is the quote exactly as she says it.
 * 6) * "Nomi pauses" is unneeded.
 * 7) **addressed
 * 8) * "whom the evil King Ommin captured while Ulic and Warb Null dueled." Evil is POV.
 * 9) **addressed
 * 10) * "Kith Kark unfortunately became one with the Force when he met an untimely end on the battlefield." Unfortunately is also POV.
 * 11) **addressed
 * 12) * Explain how Ommin had an exoskeleton. Perhaps just say “his body.”
 * 13) **addressed
 * 14) * This is really minor, but the reference tags in the last paragraph of “Aftermath” are bigger than those used in the rest of the article. Please correct this. Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:39, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **addressed
 * 16) From Greyman:
 * 17) * Like I mentioned on the Conclave on Deneba GAN, the double referencing is unneeded. If both references state the same information, then please only use one reference tag to avoid over-referencing. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:42, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) **addressed
 * 19) * The BtS information sounds more like it is part of the actual IU part of the article. The BtS should state OOU perspectives; for example, such as who wrote the battle in which comic, any discrepancies that may appear, conflicting canon, etc.&mdash;in my opinion, it shouldn't be used to explain what essentially sounds like a "Legacy section", or something. Erm, I think that makes sense :P Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:11, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) **addressed

Comments —Tommy9281 ( Maybe it is time to liberate YOU! ) 18:57, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Another good WP:TOTJ article up for nom.
 * Thanks Chack for looking! Gents like you help gents like me improve their writing skills. —Tommy9281 ( Surely you can do better! ) 23:08, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

(+3)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:40, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:04, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:13, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The infobox says he's Human without any source. While's it's probably safe to assume he's Human, unless you've got something solid to back that up with, probably best to remove.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) ***Actually, it's reasonable to make the Human connection, since George Lucas seems to, albeit wryly, think so. Since the whole joke of having Fett bump his head in AOTC is due to the fact that his clone has the same problem...wouldn't it be reasonable to say that this stormtrooper is a clone? Thefourdotelipsis 07:01, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * I would object to the page's name capitalizing "Stormtrooper" and would otherwise recommend the page be moved to "Tall stormtrooper" if I didn't object to the name of the page itself. Conjectural title or not, what exactly makes him "tall"? He's not any taller than any of the other stormtroopers around him, and if we judge by his height comparison to C-3PO in the subsequent scene when he allows him to take Artoo down to maintenance, we can see that he's of typical stormtrooper height -- approx. 1.8 meters. Therefore, I guess my objection is that I object to calling him "tall." As a joke and a lack of anything better, this page should really be under "Stupid stormtrooper." So, unless you can cite something for his being "unusually tall," please reword these instances. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:25, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Moved to "Tall stormtrooper", however talking with others on IRC it seems to more accurately reflect what most people think of him as. Perhaps we can discuss this?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:05, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ***"Head-bumping stormtrooper" might be the most encyclopedic way to go.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 17:08, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) New objections now that the page has been moved:
 * 9) * I would still like to see a little bit added to the end of the intro detailing that he responded to the threat at the control center above 327 and encountered the droids, etc.
 * 10) * The article still refers to him several times as the "tall stormtrooper," including the infobox name field. Please reword these instances.
 * 11) * The Human part can stay with that reasoning providing you give it a new source, ideally a reference note explaining George more or less calling him a clone. Additionally, the infobox should read "Human (clone)." Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:10, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) I know T&R objected already regarding the article's title, but per Forum:CT Archive/Unnamed, unknown, nameless, I feel the article should be named along the lines of "Unidentified" something. Thoughts?  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:15, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *I think this is a case where being bound to that policy might actually be more damaging. This stormtrooper is one of the most famous, if not the most famous OOU, and it's one that people might actually search for. So I think simply a descriptive name, rather than the "Unidentified" paramaters work best here. Thefourdotelipsis 22:45, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Goodwood has decided to move it per that CT, but I left the redirect in place per your reasoning 4dot that someone might/probably will search for "head-bumping" along some lines. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:13, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Should be good for 250 words.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:40, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Heey...Thefourdotelipsis 03:35, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

(+1)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 03:35, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

(+1)
Support
 * 1) I worked really hard on this. Don't be too brutal. —Tommy9281 ( Surely you can do better! ) 22:28, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * I'm glad that you've got how the use references down pat, but you don't need to necessarily use double references for everything like you've done. If the information is the same in both sources, just pick one appearance/source to use instead of over-referencing.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * From looking at it, I get the feeling that large parts of the article is essentially written as a play-by-play. If you can tap someone who is good with copy-editing, that might help.
 * 5) **Addressed&mdash;I think. I'll talk to you about this part in the IRC.
 * 6) *Along the same lines as the above objection, a copy-edit would really help out. Words that I'm not even sure about, such as "psionically" can be found scattered throughout the article. Likewise, it's generally considered bad-prose to start sentences with "Because". Another thing that sticks out to me are sentences such as, "The battle was over. Many, many Jedi perished in the skirmish, but all of the droids were destroyed." Like I said, you might want to get a good copy-editor to read through the article for you, if you're not sure what to fix.
 * 7) **Addressed&mdash;Still awaiting a good copy-edit, but everything was rectified according to the objection.
 * 8) * A large part of the article is actually about the Battle of Deneba, which we have an article on already. This article should be about the Conclave on Deneba (which you've managed to cover in a good amount of detail/length). However, the Battle of Deneba should only be a paragraph or two at the most, basically explaining that it interrupted the conclave, and therefore helped force Ulic to go through with his proposed plan. Consequently, you shouldn't go into a great amount of detail about the actual battle itself. Instead, you might want to think about using at the beginning of that particular section, so that readers will be directed to the actual article concerning that battle.
 * 9) **Addressed&mdash;I removed the bulk of the Battle section, & added the tag.
 * 10) * To me, there are just too many pictures scattered throughout the article&mdash;enough so that they interfere with the article's layout. For example, in the "Background" section, you have used three pictures, with two literally on top each other. Once you condense the sections on the Battle of Deneba to what I've mentioned above, you'll probably find that you will have even more of a surplus of pictures as well.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * In the infobox, you need to list the location as Mount Meru; Deneba.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Likewise, in the infobox, the outcome of the Conclave on Deneba was not the death of Arca Jeth&mdash;his death was one of the outcomes of the Battle of Deneba.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * The outcome field in the infobox should state what was decided by the Jedi assembly at the conclave. You could even say something along the lines of, "Ulic Qel-Droma sent to infiltrate the Krath", as an example.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Infobox again: in the Participants section you list Vima Sunrider, but then in parentheses you say (Not a participant). She needs to be removed from that list, in my opinion, since she didn't actually take part in the conclave&mdash;she was simply there, as a small child, because her mother was involved with the conclave. Likewise, you need to make mention that there were "thousands of other Jedi present" or something, since it is known that that several thousand congregated on Mount Meru.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Infobox: In the "Affiliations involved" section, I would suggest removing the "Entire" comment, since I don't believe that any appearance or source states for a fact if the "Entire Jedi Order" was present. Simply stating in that field the "Jedi Order" will be enough.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) *Once a copy-edit can be preformed, I'll give it another read through :) Keep up the good work, Tommy, and I hope that these (and other comments/objections from others) will/have helped you along the way :) Cheers, Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:35, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks Greyman. I've gone through & fixed everything you cited, now I'm just waiting for the copy-editor...

—Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 23:30, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

(+3)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:48, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:58, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Sirhan Sirhan? Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:57, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) What? No quotes at all?!?!? -- Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:48, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Many thanks to Redemption.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:41, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Quotes are on the way. Just have to play the game a bit to get them.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:48, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

(0)
Support Oppose
 * 1) QuentinGeorge 11:54, 11 April 2008 (UTC) - as far as I can see, there is no length requirement for GAs.
 * 1) No BtS or era tags. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:53, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Era tag added. I can't see any requirement for a BtS above and, frankly, this article has no need for one. What do you want put in the BtS? QuentinGeorge 23:32, 11 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is certainly not meant to demean you or your work in any way, QG, but this is a perfect example of why the GAN needs a length requirement. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:49, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Does anyone think we need a length requirement for GAs? No offense, QG, but this is ridiculous. This article is basically a stub. Sure, there's no more information available, but complete articles are different from good articles. I'll propose a new CT soon for GA length.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:25, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * You might want to let 4dot's current Alternate-FA CT play out first, Chack. Just to see what might happen to the GA process, anyways. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Good idea. I'll do that.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:33, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

(+2)
Support
 * 1) QuentinGeorge 11:54, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Kilson 22:47, 16 April 08 (UTC)

Object
 * Minor objection, but the information in the succession box at the bottom needs to be sourced like you would with an infobox. Other than that, the article reads well :) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 02:06, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(+2)
Support
 * 1) As nominator.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:19, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Gooooood. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 02:13, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Please source his birth year in the infobox. I can't remember where it's from, otherwise I would have done it :P  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 00:16, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I don't recall it being hinted at anywhere, so I removed it. I also switched the pictures.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:23, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * A suggestion, really: I think that the second picture in the article would better suit the infobox, since it shows Lekauf when he's not beaten into a bloody pulp, and near death, lol. Just a suggestion, Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 00:16, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

(+0)
Support
 * 1) Seems to fit the requirements. The prose might be a little watery, but that could easily be remedied. Din&#39;s Fire 997 00:08, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The article and the infobox need to be fully sourced, please.  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 20:13, 13 April 2008 (EDT)
 * 2) *How's that? Din&#39;s Fire 997 00:54, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Per Rule 2(a). It can be confusing if you're not familiar with it, but here is the sourcing page, which provide steps to follow. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:08, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? (thanks for the link, btw. This whole process is really expanding my skills, if nothing else) Din&#39;s Fire 997 01:36, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Good, I'm glad to hear it! It looks much better, and the only thing you need to source now is this statement, "However, it did not gain notoriety until it was taken as a refuge by rogue Sith Lord Darth Millennial." Otherwise, the sourcing is complete. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:48, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Needed a minor rephrase, but it's sourced now. Din&#39;s Fire 997 01:59, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Toprawa:
 * 8) * Din, right now the article is just too short. These one sentence paragraph haphazardly summarizing events should be fleshed out to the length of paragraphs.
 * 9) * Additionally, the article should be ordered to fit within our Layout Guide. If you go that page and go down to number 11, you'll see how a planet article should be sectioned. I would also recommend you take a look at Agamar, a recently passed Featured Article. That's just how a planet article should be done. You can use that as a model. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * In that case, you'll need to add the bit in the intro to the body of the article as well. I can't say never, but an article should almost never have intro material not covered in the body someplace. Once in a blue moon an exception will rear its ugly head, but this is certainly not one of them. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:27, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Adressed all of that, I believe. Heck, I'm pretty sure this is technically long enough to be an FA now (not pushing my luck though). If there's anything else, I'll do it - I've come this far. Din&#39;s Fire 997 06:37, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***I must say, Din, although I haven't read through it yet, I'm impressed. Just how it should look, at any rate. I'll review it soon. :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:38, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Would be good to add a little bit here, to say it was located in Sith Space: " was the third planet in the Dromund system"
 * 14) *Please give a time frame (i.e. year) to give this greater context: "The site of a major battle during the New Sith Wars"
 * 15) *Weasel words like "possibly" and "apparently" are doorways to speculation, which is a big no-no when writing articles. If you can't reword to avoid the "possibly," I would suggest removing that little clause entirely: "for centuries, possibly even millennia"
 * 16) *What, specifically, does "average-sized" mean? In relation to what? Does the source say this, or are you extrapolating this from something? Greater clarification, specification would help here: "Dromund Kaas was an average-sized planet"
 * 17) *Again, "seemed" is one of these weasel words. Something either did or didn't. Write what you know: "Only very durable life-forms seemed to survive long in the swamps"
 * 18) *Please briefly describe who Kaan is here. Don't assume the reader knows who anyone is: "and Kaan's New Sith Empire"
 * 19) *Specify, with years, what these times in history were: "During varying points in history, Dromund Kaas was held by both the Old Sith Empire and Kaan's New Sith Empire."
 * 20) *Again, a year, please: "However, it was effectively abandoned until it became a refuge for rogue Sith Lord Darth Millennial"
 * 21) *Explain what the Rule of Two here is: "Having rejected the Rule of Two"
 * 22) *Year/time frame, please: "until its rediscovery by one Darth Sidious"
 * 23) *This sentence is highly speculative. Please reword to avoid saying "It is believed." Does the source explicitly say someone believed this? If so, who? "It is believed that Yoda may have personally investigated the system, however any such mission would have been known only to the highest ranks of the Jedi, and any records of the project have been lost."
 * 24) *Can we elaborate on this battle? If not, at the very least create an article for this battle, please: "Despite this level of secrecy, the 327th Star Corps would later fight a battle on Dromund Kaas during the Clone Wars"
 * 25) *Can we elaborate on what inscriptions these were: "learned of the planet from ancient inscriptions"
 * 26) *Please provide a date here. I'm almost certain it's 10 ABY: "until Jedi Knight Kyle Katarn learned of the planet from ancient inscriptions."
 * 27) *Calling these things abominations is pretty POV. Please choose a better word: "and battled many Sith abominations"
 * 28) *Please elaborate on what exactly Dark Mara is: "along with the apparition known as Dark Mara"
 * 29) *What, exactly, is an act of faith? "an act of faith in Katarn's heart"
 * 30) *Please reword the beginning of this sentence to avoid starting out with dead construction like "At this." At what? "At this, Katarn was able to overthrow the dark taint of the Temple,"
 * 31) *Not an objection, but a pointer. Linking should be done as followed: Link upon first mention in the intro and once again upon first mention in the body, and then avoid linking something again for the remainder of the article
 * 32) *Timeframes, please: "Built during the original Sith Empire, the Temple was deserted shortly after the Great Hyperspace War"
 * 33) *Who is Seviss Vaa? "the Temple's location eventually fell into the hands of Seviss Vaa"
 * 34) *Please add a little bit to the beginning of the BTS explaining where it first appeared in SW media.
 * 35) *Without checking, I suspect your source list may be out of order. It should be ordered by OOU publication date. Please check.
 * 36) *Overall, not bad, Din. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:05, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) **Adressed a lot of that, but there's a fair amount that simply can't be.
 * 38) **Dates are impossible in many cases. We don't knew when, exactly, any of these battles took place, and, since we don't know when Darth Millennial was even alive saying when he landed is also out.
 * 39) **"Only very durable life-forms seemed to survive long in the swamps" In fact, that is avoiding speculation. The only life-forms we've seen on Kaas are durable, but we can't use a blanket statment here. Hence "seemed." Of course, if "until otherwise proven" is okay, then I'll alter it.
 * 40) **To quote the original source "It's believed that Yoda may have visited the Dromund system." Doesn't say by whom.
 * 41) **Nothing can be done about the "ancient inscriptions." We don't know when, where, or what they consisted of.
 * 42) **Again, directly from Wizards.com "Kyle Katarn traveled there after learning of the witchworld in ancient inscriptions, battling a host of Sith abominations in the planet's seemingly endless bogs before succumbing to the spell of the dark side of the Force." That's what they're called. Abominations.
 * 43) **Not much can be added about Dark Mara. She was a spirit with a lightsaber. The end. If you can think of a way to add that bit without breaking up the prose, by all means, alter.
 * 44) **Act of faith is a real-world term
 * 45) **Anything else? I admit this is tiring, but darn it, I am getting this bloody thing through if it kills me.Din&#39;s Fire 997 03:25, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 47) *I agree with Toprawa. The article has too many two sentence paragraphs.
 * 48) *Also, check out the layout guie like he suggested. Model the article to fit that, and it will be much improved.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(+1)
Support
 * 1) I don't know, he might have a chance Kilson 23:00, 16 April 08 (UTC)
 * 2) Interesting enough, it gets my vote. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:44, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *Please familiarize yourself with our Layout Guide to see how a character article should be "laid out." Your intro must be greatly expanded, needs a P&T section, and a BTS couldn't hurt. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:33, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I have enlarged the intro and added a small BTS, but I find it a little pointless to add a P&T because we don't really know much about the character becides what's in the biography. Also, at least five GA characters that don't have P&Ts: Lii, Imperial Ace, Dorsk 81, Luminara Unduli, and Uldir Lochett. I honestly believe that this article should be a good article.
 * 4) ***Nonsense. A character article should never go without a P&T. Previously passed GANs without them, doesn't make the trend right. It means they passed before I started reviewing. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:52, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Yeah. Every character has a Personality, even if you can only write several lines on it. You should check out Chertyl Ruluwoor (Human), a Galaxies NPC article I wrote (if only for amusement), to get an idea of how to write a P&T on a character with such little info. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:13, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****OK, the P&T has been made, and thanks Ackbar for the Chertyl Ruluwoor (Human) page, it help a little. Kilson 15:26, 18 April 08 (UTC)
 * And, Kilson, we don't add bullets to the BTS anymore. Please avoid that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:56, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

(+3)
Support
 * 1) As nominator - I've overhauled this article massively, and i think it could be worth becoming a GA, so what the hey, I'm throwing it ou there. Any takers? Darth Xadún 11:09, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I've spruced it up a bit, and it probably needs a bit more, but I say take it to FA, man! Thefourdotelipsis 10:24, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Hetton was related to the Demici family, one of the Great Houses of Serenno." This starts off a little suddenly. Start with a sentence about who he is. Hetton was a Human male who was...
 * 3) **Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Does he actually say he’s 59 is Rule of Two? I don't remember.
 * 5) ** No actual dates are used, although some can be worked out. I've removed all unconfirmable dates, including birth. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Organization, not organisation. Same with meagre, it's meager here. Also, spell realized with a z.
 * 7) **Sorry. Usign British spellings and all that. changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Pipe link "their near-total destruction at Ruusan" to Seventh Battle of Ruusan.
 * 9) ** Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "...believing her to have revealed the planned assassination of former Supreme Chancellor Tarsus Valorum." I think this would make more sense if you added a few more words. It needs better context.
 * 11) ** I've added a sentence here. Does that look better? Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Dark Side is not capitalized.
 * 13) ** Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Link things once in the introduction and once in the body.
 * 15) ** I thought you only linked the first reference to a linkable article? Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Could we get a main quote?
 * 17) **I've added one I feel to be a rarther pertenant quote to the Star Wars universe in general. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * Artifacts, not artefacts.
 * 19) ** Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * "A lot of people disagreed with the laws passed by the Republic Sena..." Please rephrase. A lot is not an encyclopedic term.
 * 21) ** Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * "...ensured the Anti-Republic Liberation Front to be one of the largest and most prominent rebellious groups..." Perhaps change "the" to his newly created...
 * 23) ** Changed. Darth Xadún 08:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *There you go. Work on this, and the article will be much improved. Also, strive for FA status. Once it's passed GA, I recommend you take it to FA.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:04, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments


 * Please format your nomination correctly next. Copy and pasting works nicely. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:10, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I think that with a bit of tweaking here and there, this could actually make Featured article status. If the nominator is OK with doing a bit more work in addressing inevitable objections, that's my recommendation. It certainly reaches the length requirements. Thefourdotelipsis 23:33, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I thought you needed images for an artical to be a FA? Otherwise I would have suggested it for FA status in the first place. I don't know of any canonical images I could use for it. Darth Xadún 07:21, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No, you don't need any images at all. At most, someone might ask you to put in an image of Zannah or something in the main body. Thefourdotelipsis 09:21, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Please don't strike others objections.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:04, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

(+1)
Support
 * 1) as nominator.  ~Roger Roger~ [[Image:Battledroid.jpg|11px|]] Home of the B1s 11:41, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) *Overlinking. Please ensure that there is only one link to any given article in the intro, as well as only one in the article's main body for the first mention.
 * 3) *Please eliminate the Trivia section in the BtS.
 * 4) *Rewriting the Bonus Levels section to how the main levels are laid out is desired.
 * 5) *The Differences between the movie and the game section could be moved to a subsection of the BtS.
 * 6) *TIMMMMBERRRRR!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:40, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed. ~Roger Roger~ [[Image:Battledroid.jpg|11px|]] Home of the B1s 11:51, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) This was nominated for GA before, as seen here. Per the original objection on the nomination, it's basically one big list. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 00:23, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Plot info has been added, so no one can throw the plot wrench at me. ~Roger Roger~ [[Image:Battledroid.jpg|11px|]] Home of the B1s 11:41, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Please format your nomination correctly next. Copy and pasting works nicely. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:10, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

(0)
Support
 * 1) as nominator.Jedi Kasra 06:48, 19 April 2008 (UTC)

Object —Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 20:38, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Barely sourced. Has a "committee" tag. Also, although I'm by no means an expert on the topic, I would've thought his article would be quite a bit longer, though I may be wrong. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:02, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From —Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 20:38, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
 * The opening paragraph doesn't need to be referenced, as the information is also present within the body of the article and also referenced there.
 * Also in the opening paragraph, you say, "Later, having both "killed" and usurped the mantle of Darth Revan in 3,957 BBY". It should read something like, Later, having both "killed" Revan and usurped the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sith in 3,957 BBY.
 * In the "early life" section, you say, "According to Deesra Luur Jada, he was trained on Dantooine,[2] where he met his closest friend, Revan." This is confusing; was Revan his closest friend already when Malak got to Dantooine, or did they become closest friends while together on Dantooine?
 * The term "Master" should be capitalized when referring to an individual's Sith or Jedi Master if the individual is acting in an apprentice capacity.
 * In the "Captured at Flashpoint" section, you say, "Roughly a week after his meeting with Carrick on Taris, he was captured during the Fourth Battle of Suurja by the Neo-Crusaders and taken to Flashpoint Station". Please explain who the Neo-Crusaders are and what Flashpoint station is, as these are the first mentions of both subjects in the article.
 * In the paragraph immediately following, you talk abou Jarael as though she was previously explained. This is also misleading, because it almost seems like you're picking up on a part of her story you had previously established. Please explain her further, at least in significance to the situation.
 * Sentences should not begin with "And".
 * In the second paragraph of the "Adasca's plot" section, you introduce the Arkanian Legacy. Who's ship is this? What kind of ship is it? Briefly explain please.
 * The same applies to the Williwaw. When you introduce it, you do just that. Please briefly explain the ship.
 * In the third paragraph of the "Adasca's plot" section, you say, "When Adasca struck Jarael for talking in her wrist-comlink to Camper, Alek ignited his lightsaber and put the blade near Adasca's throat, warning him not to hurt her again". Who is Camper? briefly explain Camper & his significance.
 * Same section. You say, "Alek, along with Zayne, Lucien Draay, Carth Onasi, Admiral Karath, Jarael, Rohlan, and Commander Dallan Morvis escaped the Legacy observation dome as the exogorths under the elderly scientist: Gorman Vandrayk's command devoured it, killing Adasca". Wrong use of a colon.
 * Like stated above by AdmirableAckbar, the article is barely referenced. When referencing, keep in mind that Each paragraph needs to be referenced.
 * I'm sure quotes could be found for the "Adasca's plot" and "The quest's end nears" sections. Also, I think that "The quest's end nears" should be reworded.
 * Also in the "Adasca's plot" section, you talk about Zayne Carrick and "the charges levied against him". This is an important plot device, and needs to be briefly explained.
 * In the same section, you say, "This heroic reputation was finally cemented during the final battle of the war, where they defeated the Mandalorians and slew their leader, Mandalore the Ultimate, above Malachor V". Who are "they"? This can be misleading, so please tell exactly who "they" are.
 * Some of your pipelinks "hint" at the topics they link to. As this is an encyclopedia, links should be less vague, in my opinion.
 * (minor)In the "Sith apprentice" section, you say, "Even so, the unconfirmed sightings of Revan and Malak on numerous worlds throughout their year-long disappearance imply that they visited the majority of these planets after the Mandalorian Wars' conclusion". I would have said "implied".
 * In the "Dark Lord of the Sith" section, you say, "While on their search they were captured by the Sith and brought on board the Leviathan, while escaping the ship they encountered Malak himself who revealed to Revan his true identity". This needs to be reworded, so that "while" isn't used twice. Kinda disrupts the flow of the sentence.
 * Same section. You mention the Leviathan. Please offer a brief explanation of the ship.
 * In the same section, you say, "Revan and Malak engaged in combat and Malak proved himself a powerful foe, eventually Bastila sacrificed herself to save Revan and was captured by Malak". Please reword this.
 * Same section. You finally introduce Malak's apprentice in the form of Darth Bandon, but you don't explain how Malak came to taking an apprentice, or even who Bandon is. Since this article isn't about "Bandon", just briefly explain him & his relationship to Malak.
 * I think that his powers & abilities section could be expanded.

Comments
 * I've worked on this article a lot, and I told Goodwood that I think it deserves a chance to be listed as a good article. I am experiencing technical difficulties on here and Wikipedia, but I will try to work on it as needed to the best of my abilities.--Jedi Kasra 06:48, 19 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Don't get discouraged; I received an extensive list of objections my first time around, and it helped me tremendously. Hopefully these will help you as they did for me! :) —Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 15:00, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

(+1)
Support
 * Yes, that's the best picture of him. Thefourdotelipsis 07:43, 20 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Explain who Zannen is in the intro. Two more words would suffice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:19, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. Thefourdotelipsis 08:57, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I actually think that pic should be in the main body, not the infobox. --Eyrezer 01:39, 21 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **I'd argue the point, but it doesn't hurt. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 08:57, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Could use a smidge more context in the intro (and maybe even in the body) about who Zannen is and why the incident was traumatic. Assuming said context exists. I don't have the article, which is why this is a comment and not an opposing point. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 14:45, 20 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No real context on that, sorry. Thefourdotelipsis 08:57, 21 April 2008 (UTC)

(+1)
Support
 * 1) Though not a WP:TOTJ article, I worked equally as hard on this. Open to thoughts/suggestions, as always. —Tommy9281 ( Lússë i Morë Hwesta súya! ) 19:33, 20 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) *Explain who Darovit is when you first mention him.
 * 3) *"Zannah became furious..." Could just be me, but this sounds funny.
 * 4) *Why did she need healing techniques for Bane? I thought she was looking for information on orbalisks?
 * 5) *Link all the Jedi in the second paragraph.
 * 6) *The first two paragraphs of The Duel are play-by-play.
 * 7) *Second paragraph of Part 2: ackward?
 * 8) *"Upon realizing that the contest was over..." You just used this expression. Please change it.
 * 9) *I like stuff about Bane.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:29, 20 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments