Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Senate hostage crisis


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Senate hostage crisis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:21, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Also crisp 'n clean. (Hopefully.) Probably won't cause too much of a stir.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:25, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:07, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) See the comments below. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:31, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) A very nice read. Well done, CC. --Eyrezer 10:17, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) * Hey CC, this is nitpicky but first line of the intro "raid" doesn’t really fit with the title, IMO.
 * 3) **Addressed; also, it gave me an excuse to give the intro a much-needed cleaning up.
 * 4) * The article, mainly "Capturing Skywalker", is a bit too pbp.
 * 5) **I went and rewrote the article; hopefully it's looking better.
 * 6) * "The raid also revealed Bane's ruthlessness, for in planting the laser-activated explosives, the bounty hunter revealed that he never took prisoners." Is this necessary?
 * 7) **Not really; nuked.
 * 8) *Good work. I realize that some of my objections are a bit unclear, and for that, I apologize. If you have any questions, catch me on IRC.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:04, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Nah, they're fine; thanks very much, Chack.  CC7567  (talk) 22:19, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Toprawa:
 * 11) * I understand your reasoning for presenting it this way, but "infantrys" if obviously grammatically incorrect. Are you sure this is how the plural form of the vessel is presented? "**4 Low Altitude Assault Transport/infantrys"
 * 12) * A little clearer context here, please. Atrium of what? The Senate chambers? "Upon arriving above the atrium" Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Both addressed; thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 22:54, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) From the bridge of the Anvil-class Star Destroyer:
 * 15) * "a revived Skywalker was able to cut a hole around the senators," You might want to state previously that Skywalker was unconscious. It kinda catches the reader off guard as it stands.
 * 16) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 00:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * More to come in a bit. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 23:19, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm going to support, but I want to let you know that this almost reads more like a summary of the episode, rather than a mission planned out by Cad Bane and his posse. When doing these kinds of articles, you'll need to tell the story more from the POV of the characters whose story it is you are telling; much of what I've read is from Anakin's POV, but I'm under the impression that the story is about what Cad Bane did & how he did it. If I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me. Aside from that, not a bad article. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * The reason it's this way is because yes, it's Bane's mission, but it's also from Skywalker's POV because he's one of the "victims," and in some cases it's the easiest perspective to use. However, I've tried to rewrite it a bit. (Also, I think you forgot to strike your objection above.)  CC7567  (talk) 22:23, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * No problem, just keep that in mind for the future. I had to learn the same thing way back when ;) —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:31, 18 August 2009 (UTC)