Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mok


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mok

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: There's jizz in his pants.

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Per IRC review. Kilson Likes PIE 22:11, 18 May 09 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:56, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 00:40, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Good work. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 01:18, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  JangFett  Talk 23:02, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 13:07, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Nice work.&mdash;Darthtyler (Talk) 00:19, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8)  Graestan ( Talk ) 22:39, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master gets picky
 * 2) * "On the flight to the palace, Rostu earned Mok's ire by vomiting on the Weequay's boots, which he valued very highly." I know what you mean, but it could be reworded better.
 * 3) **Coudl you explain exactly what you mean? I'm afraid I don't get quite how this could be written better.
 * 4) ***You say "which he valued very highly", but you just mentioned two "he"s. I know what you're saying here, and it's not a super big deal (like I said, I'm getting pretty picky here), but I think it could be tweaked slightly just for clarity. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 22:48, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:31, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context for Mercantile Guild
 * 7) **Meh, it's a guild of merchants. No info is given about it. I think the name gives all the context needed.
 * 8) *That's all I could find. Well done :) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 22:25, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) The Grand Moff gets pickier:
 * 10) * I think the intro could use some expansion, including details on their arrest.
 * 11) * The Interstellar Trade League should be mentioned in both the intro and the bio.
 * 12) * "The male Weequay Mok worked with the Human smuggler Drach Coven. The two smuggled goods onboard their ship, the Far Ranger." - two short sentences that would probably look better combined as one.
 * 13) * Are there any details on Rostu's killing of the Imperial officer?
 * 14) * What happened to Rostu? Didn't he get the Far Ranger? If so, this should go in the bio and even in the intro.
 * 15) *Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:12, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Attack of the Clone
 * 17) * First sentence is a bit confusing; unless there's a specific reason for it, I believe the fact that he was both a co-pilot and a smuggler can be mentioned together, because it's a little odd the way it's currently worded.
 * 18) **Changed.
 * 19) * "who had had'": yeah, it's grammatically fine, but I just always find it too redundant. Can it be reworded?
 * 20) **Eh, not really well. I honestly think it works as is.
 * 21) * "However, his partner, Coven": I don't think this is needed; it's already implied before, and it seems strange mentioning it down this far. Also, it implies that the two were romantically involved, because a specific situation wasn't set.
 * 22) **Fixed.
 * 23) * "Mok tried to break free and attacked a stormtrooper": it's not very clear in the sense that it's not stated what happened of his attempt to break free.
 * 24) **Changed.
 * 25) *Looketh fineth otherwiseth.  CC7567  (talk) 00:10, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) Fett's 2 cents
 * 27) * Can't find a main image for the infobox?
 * 28) **Discussed in IRC channel  JangFett  Talk 23:43, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * JangFett  Talk 23:02, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) Soresu
 * 31) * I think the location of his death should be in the "died" section of the infobox.
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * Wouldn't it be correct to list the Empire in affiliations? After all, they were "hired" by them.
 * 34) **Added.
 * 35) *Good work. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:12, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 334 words. Also, Graestan, if you see this, I need to talk to you about starting the subpage for this.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the reviews, all.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:01, 22 May 2009 (UTC)