Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rescue of Rahm Kota

Rescue of Rahm Kota

 * Nominated by: Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 01:58, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:My first FAnom. It's not for the Barn-Burner, but I've been looking forward to doing this for a long time.

Support

 * 1) Good work.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  12:47, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 18:04, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

Exiled Jedi

 * I think you should mention Tarko-se earlier in the article's introduction.
 * Uhh, I'm afraid that I don't get what you mean. Tarko-se Arena is mentioned in like the second sentence.
 * Oh, unless you meant something more like the last change I made.
 * You should probably mention Tarko-se earlier in the article's body as well.
 * Could you please clarify here, too.
 * Check out my last change.
 * In the BTS, "People had the opportunity to play through this mission..." probably needs to be reworded so that it says that the Force Unleashed video game had a level that included this mission.
 * Done.
 * Other than these minor problems and a few missed links that I fixed, this article is very good.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  15:40, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks EJ. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 03:08, August 8, 2011 (UTC)

Jujiggum

 * "Kota's independant streak finally got him into trouble" POV/OR wording here.
 * Removed.
 * Context for AT-MP.
 * Check that out.
 * Could you use less-colloquial wording than "wised up"
 * Fixed.
 * The article's images feel cluttered. Please see if you can space them out a bit more
 * Hmm, try that.
 * Got to run; I'll pick up where I left off asap. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 15:54, August 15, 2011 (UTC)
 * Alrighty, thanks. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 18:52, August 15, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Clearing several of the rooms&hellip;" Is "clearing" supposed to mean that he defeated the Imperial forces and Acolytes? If so, could you be more clear about that?
 * Fixed.
 * "However, the tram was attacked by Imperial air forces, including several TIE fighters and the Nemesis-class gunship, en route, forcing Starkiller to defend it, though it still sustained heavy damage despite his best efforts." Grammar.
 * Done.
 * "fell out of the sky" sounds like it just came out of nowhere. Is there any way this could be reworded?
 * Got it.
 * Do we have an article for Tarko's Neimoidian aide? If not, can you create one, or at least redlink it?
 * Heh, actually it's one of my current CAnoms.
 * "As the two fell&hellip;" There are three of them. Which two? Kota and Gorog or Kota and Starkiller?
 * Fixed.
 * "The ship swooped beneath them&hellip;" Again, you haven't specified who "they" or "them" is, so for all the reader knows the Gorog is still included here.
 * Done.
 * You say that Kota desired "to use the clone's powers" but that Kota also denied that he was truly a clone. If Kota didn't believe Starkiller was a clone, then Kota did not want to use a "clone's powers"&hellip;
 * Got it.
 * Why would Kota think the Rogue Shadow had always been Starkiller's? Unless you specifically state that it had previously been used by Marek, that makes no sense at all.
 * Fixed.
 * Bit of a run-on sentence here. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 02:58, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * Switched it around a bit. Try that. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 15:56, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * "&hellip;and demanding to be let out on the nearest spaceport before Starkiller got 'lost in the stars' as Kota put it." Grammar; and is there any way we can we reword so as to avoid the direct quotation?
 * Done.
 * A few things here: You've changed this to say: "Kota demanding to be let out on the nearest spaceport before Starkiller got lost in the stars, as Kota put it." First, the grammar is more blatantly incorrect than before; and second, I think you misunderstood my request regarding the quotations. If the line is taken from the source, then you have to use the quotations. However, I asked that you reword the line, so that you're not taking it directly from the source&mdash;such verbatim wording is something we usually try to avoid whenever possible. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 02:58, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * Try something like that then. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 15:59, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * A battle didn't "ensue" Eclipse's capture. Eclipse's capture by Fett happened during the battle itself.
 * Got it.
 * Parts of the first two paragraphs of the Aftermath section are a bit too play-by-play.
 * Hmm, not really sure what I could change around, but take another look at it.
 * Parts of this are more like what belongs in character articles than in the aftermath of a mission article. Take the way you describe their conversation and see if you can condense it. (This is now mostly just in the second paragraph.) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 02:58, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * Hmm, try that.
 * "&hellip;written by author Sean Williams, which was published on October 5, 2010." This technically says that Sean Williams was published; not the novel.
 * Fixed.
 * Unsourced item in the infobox.
 * Done.
 * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Talk ) 21:03, August 15, 2011 (UTC)
 * One more: "capture" is repetitive in the last sentence of the Aftermath.
 * Fixed.
 * Also, as a note: there were several minor common grammatical mistakes I've fixed in my copyedits. The most prominent (and a lot of people overlook these) is the usage of a conditional term such as "would" that can, under certain circumstances, actually change the tense. Also remember to avoid contractions such as "wouldn't." Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 02:58, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'll try to watch that. Thanks for the review. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 16:02, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

QGJ

 * I think the "Aftermath" section could use an expansion with the information from the comic book regarding Fett's arrival and encounter with the Gorog. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:34, September 25, 2011 (UTC)
 * Added, but I kept it rather short so it's not really apart of the "Rescue of Rahm Kota". -- Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 20:49, September 25, 2011 (UTC)
 * I've expanded it a bit, if you don't mind. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 17:29, October 2, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

 * Many thanks to for his pre-nom review.  Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 19:55, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
 * Another interesting fact is that this article was originally marked for speedy deletion. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 21:21, August 8, 2011 (UTC)


 * Since the Gorog is still alive in the comic adaptation, should the infobox/article be changed to reflect that? Corellian PremierRobotech.jpg along the watchtower 15:39, September 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * Good catch. Fixed. Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 16:10, September 19, 2011 (UTC)