Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

The Clone Wars: The Valley

 * Nominated by:  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Xd
 * 4) * Serious underlinking in plot. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
 * 7) * and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
 * 8) * spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
 * 9) **This one still remains.
 * 10) ***Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
 * 11) * Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
 * 12) *The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
 * 13) **Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
 * 14) * Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
 * 17) **Added clarity.
 * 18) * Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358  Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I got it.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) ***"Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
 * 23) ****Fixed.
 * 24) * The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358  Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
 * 26) The Grand Master's first look
 * 27) * Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
 * 30) **Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Fixed (I hope).
 * 35) *Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) The Grand Master II
 * 37) *Missing minor info in the intro (see other web comic GAs to see exactly what I mean)
 * 38) * Why is the fact that it's the first appearance of Chrin and Peppi Bow listed in the BTS? Is it really necessary?
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) * "There is not much left of the droids that attacked, but he will analyze the scraps anyway." Who does "he" refer to? Bibble or Typho?
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) *You should make an event for the battle in the article. Maybe "skirmish in the valley" or something similar.
 * 43) *You should also probably make a page for the valley location itself.
 * 44) *I'm seeing lots of missing things in the Appearances section. (i.e. the Palace was mentioned, as were sensors, a hologram, the titles of Senator and Boss, etc.) Please review the comic and your article and make sure you have every appearance listed.
 * 45) **Hopefully fixed.
 * 46) ***Normally this would fall under, but I want to make sure you know to avoid these in the future: The list is still incomplete. You have failed to list the titles "Senator" and "Captain," and the organization Naboo Royal Advisory Council. Make sure the pages you link are the actual pages and not redirects, and make sure you properly use the bullets (i.e. the "Theed Palace" should be a sub-bullet of "Naboo," because it is located on Naboo.) Also, make sure you list them correctly as well&mdash;according to the current list, Neeyuntee actually appears, but the title "Queen" does not. If Neeyuntee appears, and they call her "Queen," then Queen does appear, and shouldn't be listed as , as you currently have it listed. Also, make sure you add the event and the valley appearances as well once you've created the pages. And I would also suggest making a page for the other Security trooper with Chrin and Typho in the valley, naming him something along the lines of "Unidentified Royal Naboo Security trooper" (and don't forget to add him to the appearances, too!).  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:33, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *When does the 3PO droid appear? You have it listed under appearances, but it is not mentioned in the summary at all.
 * 48) * Please link each article only once in the infobox.
 * 49) **Taken care of. -- Xd 15:05, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *Also, as a note: in the future, please watch your linking. There were several things in the body that linked to redirects or that were not linked at all, that I took care of during my copy-edit.
 * 51) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:00, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Bogga

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:06, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I wrote this article while listening to Push it to the Limit. I now have that song memorized, and I think my life is better for it.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy 9281  Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 18:37, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Not a merciful vote at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:39, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:29, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 19:40, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "he leant a security crew..." What is "leant?"
 * 3) **Flerg. Meant to be "loaned"... I don't know how I messed that up. Addressed.
 * 4) * Your underlinking still knows no bounds.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * The first paragraph of Search for the Adegan crystals has too many different ideas jumbled into one paragraph. Please reorganize it so that like items are together and unrelated topics are separated, into different paragraphs if necessary.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * The grand sum to which Bogga refers is never stated to be credits in the source you have that statement referenced to, so either remove the link to Galactic Credit Standard or provide a source which explicitly states that credits are the payment Bogga expects to receive.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * More later. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:36, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Farlstendoiro the [Un-]Merciful One
 * 12) * Intro: Add "also known as Bogga the Merciful One", or at least "self-styled the Merciful One", as it is a relevant title (used to negotiate with Finhead).
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Intro: If Thon and Bogga had had any relevant encounter before Andur's death, mention it chronologically.
 * 15) **Its not stated if they do.
 * 16) * Bio/Search: Like all Hutts, Bogga was a hermaphrodite, but had a masculine personality. Sounds like all Hutts were hermaphrodite and all Hutts have masculine personality, which is false. Please reword.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Bio/Search: Again, if Bogga knew Thon before Andur's death, it should be specified chronologically, specially if they became sworn enemies.
 * 19) **It isn't stated that they had any contact.
 * 20) * Bio/Dealings: by Captain Gruna, captain of an... Can you reword it so you don't use "captain" twice in a row?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Bio/Dealings: Also, Bogga ordered Gudb to accompany them, giving him Mandalorian chains that could even a Jedi prisoner. I think there's a verb missing somewhere in this sentence.
 * 23) **Yeah. Fixed.
 * 24) * Personality: When agitated, the Hutt had a tendency to start sentences in his native Huttese,[4] and also often referred to himself in the third person.[5] Does he use the third person only when agitated or not? I suggest rewording this sentence.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * BtS: Depictions of Bogga seem to be more than inspired in known pictures Jabba from ROTJ. Do we know anything about this? Did any of the artists used Jabba as a model?
 * 27) **That would be speculation, as there isn't any info about a connection.
 * 28) * BtS: Tsk, tsk... Who voiced Bogga in the audio drama? (Tip: Bud Thorpe)
 * 29) **Flerg. Addressed.
 * 30) *The Great Farlstendoiro is pleased with this article ·:P Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:56, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) Soresu
 * 32) * It is unclear where some of the individuals are at certain times. For example, After threatening to let Ktriss kill and devour Gudb, Bogga gave him another chance and sent him with a team of enforcers to the surface of Ambria to retrieve the crystals. You don't mention that Bogga joined the enforcers planetside on Ambria.
 * 33) **I mentioned that they were at Ambria, but Bogga doesn't go onto the planet's surface, he stays in his sail barge.
 * 34) ***Well it sounds to me like he's with the ground team. Maybe just add, while Bogga remained on his sail barge. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ****Addressed.
 * 36) * Realizing that they had no chance of survival if they stayed and fought, Bogga fled the encounter. You make no mention of Gudb, leading to the assumption that he, along with the entire gang except for Bogga were killed. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:55, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:33, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) Attack of the Clone
 * 39) * Per the precedent, can you use "masculine personality" instead of "orientation" in both the infobox and the body? "Personality" is more specific, as "orientation" implies that it was sexual&mdash;which I doubt is what you're trying to say.
 * 40) **Changed back. Funny; I could've sworn I had "masculine personality" in there when I first wrote the article. Maybe someone changed it and I didn't notice.
 * 41) * "Jedi Knight Andur Sunrider was slain in the ensuing struggle": link? Article? Anything at all for this event? Please do so in the body as well.
 * 42) **Article created and linked.
 * 43) * "defeated the Hutt and his crew in a brief skirmish": same as above.
 * 44) **Created and linked.
 * 45) * "In the meantime, he loaned a security crew to protect an Ithullian ore hauler that was attacked by pirates." Please smooth out the chronology and the wording; it's unclear specifically what was attacked by the pirates.
 * 46) **Smoothed.
 * 47) * Please link the context on Gudb better to him so that there isn't room for confusion.
 * 48) **I'm not following you. What context are you referring to?
 * 49) ***Nevermind; I'm not quite sure where I was looking.  CC7567  (talk) 19:40, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * This is one of the few times that I choose to make a formatting objection, but the incorrect Tales of the Jedi (audio) formatting is becoming a constant problem throughout TOTJ articles. Please fix it and become aware of it so that it doesn't happen again in the future.
 * 51) **Righty-o. Fixed.
 * 52) ***What is the "correct" formatting for audio sources/appearances, and where is it stated in policy? —Tommy 9281 02:24, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ****It's not stated in any policy, but I would think it's much more proper to format it as "Tales of the Jedi audio drama" instead of blatantly leaving the "(audio)" in there, the same way we don't use "Star Wars: The Clone Wars (film)" instead of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars film."  CC7567  (talk) 04:34, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) *****In that case, your objection would fall under the   clause. You yourself have supported Featured articles where "(audio)" was used, without objecting to or changing it. Please try to remember to implement the    rule when necessary to avoid the unnecessary hindrance of an article's passing. —Tommy  9281 17:13, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ******I am well aware of, Tommy. The only reason I object to articles under that clause is if I feel that it's necessary to point them out, which in this case, it is. I don't find time that much of a concern if taking a little more of it will stop problems repeating themselves in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 19:40, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) *******Then as a reviewer of articles you are being inconsistent (and therefore unfair), and need to implement the clause when appropriate no matter the situation. Either be one way or the other, per the point I made above based on the situation presented here. This is something you've been advised of on more than one occasion. —Tommy 9281 22:06, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * Is there any way to condense the third paragraph of the body? If Bogga wasn't even there, then the inclusion of that much detail is shaky and unnecessary.
 * 58) **I disagree; its really just the bare-bones summary of what happened. Sunrider gets distracted, Gudb kills him, Nomi kills them. I think thats just about the amount of info needed to understand what happened.
 * 59) * "Gudb unleashed his pet gorm worm": "unleashed" isn't being used correctly here. It either needs to read "unleashed on ", or a different word choice needs to be used.
 * 60) **Changed to "released".
 * 61) * "a Tchuukthai whom Andur's ghost had told his wife to meet so that she could begin her Jedi training": why is this relevant to Bogga? In its current placement, it doesn't seem to be.
 * 62) **I only included it as context on who he was and why Nomi was there. Removed.
 * 63) * "While he and his lackeys worked": who's he?
 * 64) **Bogga. Addressed.
 * 65) * Please limit the excessive use of "brought" throughout the second bio section.
 * 66) **Word choice varied.
 * 67) * "the group was interrupted by the arrival of Master Thon&mdash;revealed to be the beast that had attacked Bogga's force on the first mission to Ambria": this is unclear; I'm unsure of what you're trying to say.
 * 68) **Never mind about that. Looking back, I should've moved that info to his first appearance. Moved, and it is hopefully more understandable there.
 * 69) * The tense shifts in the Bts are rather dizzying.
 * 70) **Tense fixed.
 * 71) *Overall, the article seems to have been written more as a summary of the comic instead of a biography on Bogga. Please check your perspective and make sure that the article is better centered on him.  CC7567  (talk) 03:16, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) Say what:
 * 73) *Is it really needed to say in the intro he was called "The Merciful One?" I haven't read TOTJ in a while, but IIRC, that was just a nickname, akin to calling a Hutt "your graciousness" or something (you know how Hutts like to be flattered).  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:19, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) **Tommy asked me to put it in there, since it is a relevant nickname.
 * 75) ***I'd still prefer both that, and preferably "Great Bogga" be removed from the intro. What's the difference between those and "Great and Well-Proportioned Bogga?"  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:25, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) * The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) **Rearranged with info included in bio if possible, to avoid missing anything important. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 31) **I used synonyms; he's described as: (a being of) devious cunning (=Shrewd), (with) intellectual stealth (=Intelligent + cultured + stealthy), and his RPG stats show him as a cultured person.
 * 32) ***Okay for everything except stealthy. Right now you make it sound like he was good at sneaking around, which is not what "intellectual stealth" means. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****'Stealthy' gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:31, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 35) **Not changed: OS says it as an unconfirmed rumor. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 37) **Changed, but OS does not specify. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 39) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 41) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 43) **Removed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"This gave him several satisfactions." What do you mean? What satisfactions does this give him? It was more of the "satisfaction" that was awkwardly worded/confusing then the Navy's offer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****Yes, but the wording is still rather awkward. I would suggest using something other than "satisfactions;" also, does the source say "unexpected?" If not, it is OR and even somewhat POVish. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Anything approaching OR or POV removed, including "satisfaction". Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *******Now you've just contradicted yourself. Saying "deference was essential to his professional activities" is the opposite of what you just said: that he had no need to treat the people he dealt with with respect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:29, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ********Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 51) **(...) have left the crime lord more than a little paranoid. Not changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 53) **Stability. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***It's not very clear what you mean by "stability". Stability of growth? Of living? Monetary stability? etc. Please clarify. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Try now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 57) **Sentence changed; keep bc it tells about Saadoon's mid-term goals. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 59) **Added one date. OS is probably murky on purpose to give freedom to RPG gamemasters. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 61) **Not changed: OS compares them with the Star Dragons. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

Skirmish aboard the Coronet

 * Nominated by: Axinal
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt to seriously improve an article to GA standards. I'll appreciate any help I can get.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1)  Kryze Xd
 * 2) *This is what I saw when checking it quickly:
 * 3) * Combine intro into one/two paragraphs.
 * 4) **Finished with that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) * Too many subsections within the body.
 * 6) **Reduced from three to two. Do you think it should be just one?Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Always refer to people using their last names after the first mention.
 * 8) **Fixed that, though I still use "the Duchess" in some places, and "Satine's guard" is used instead of "Kryze's guard," since the respective article is Satine's guard.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Severe underlinking.
 * 10) **Fixed as much as I could find, but I'll keep looking. Thanks for your help.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *More to come. Xd  13:42, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Karika
 * 13) * Date in infobox needs to be sourced. Fine with me, if anyone could check TCW novel, thanks.
 * 14) **I'm having trouble with that. Aside from a definitive CW timeline as yet to be released, good Clone Wars articles like Battle of Nexus Ortai aren't sourced at all. Any pointers? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Another user sourced the date with The Clone Wars (novel). I haven't read it, so I'm not sure if it can be used as a source in this case. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Like Xd said, underlinking. Lightsaber, blaster, and blaster pistol are a few.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 13:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Read the article over and improved most of the linking. I'll keep looking. Thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Fett's preliminaries
 * 19) * Missing Ref tags in the infobox.
 * 20) **Everything in the infobox is sourced now. Is there still something missing? Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Not to butt in, but the ref tags are still missing. Xd  14:44, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Not at all. I guess I'm not really sure what a ref tag is. Can you give me an example? Thanks. Axinal 16:22, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Ref tags have now been addressed, though I'm not sure I quite see what the difference is. Thanks for your help!
 * 24) * The entire infobox must be properly sourced. Please take a look at other past TCW GAs to help you. Currently, the "c. 22 BBY" needs to be properly sourced. The episode or its guide aren't valid sources for this.
 * 25) **As I mentioned above, some good CW articles aren't sourced at all. Is there a reason for this, and do you know where I can find a proper source for the date? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Date was sourced with The Clone Wars (novel) by another user. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***What do you mean, some good CW articles aren't sourced? Could you please point them out to me? Some articles aren't sourced, but that's just because they're not GAs/FAs, which have to be sourced.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I'm not sure if "sourced" was the right word. Battle of Nexus Ortai has no references in the infobox, which I think is what JangFett meant when he said that "c. 22 BBY" needed to be properly sourced. Axinal 17:35, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****That article doesn't need sourcing because it's self-sourcing. If a subject (i.e, Battle of Nexus Ortai) doesn't appear more than once, it could self-source. However, any subject that's from the TCW television series, the film, or any related video game it has to be properly sourced because it appeared in more than one source. (i.e, information could be in the episode's Online Episode Guide, the video game's prima guide, TCW visual guides). For this battle GAN, you need to double check the episode guide and episode and make sure every detail is added in the article. That said, make sure "c. 22 BBY" is sourced to the TCW novel.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:25, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ******You can generally use "sourcing" and "referencing" interchangeably. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:02, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *******Ah. Thanks. :)
 * 32) ********Yes, thank you, Chack. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The intro needs to be merged into one paragraph, as it doesn't need to have three small separate ones. And you must include "around 22 BBY".
 * 34) **Finished there. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Missing something about the "Clone Wars".
 * 36) ****What do you mean by that? Do I need to specify that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars? Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ****The Prelude now mentions that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars around 22 BBY. Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "As the Clone Wars escalated" is not a proper intro starter. We don't know when this battle took place on the timeline.
 * 39) **Fixed Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * You don't need to have subsections within the prelude. Also, you're missing quotes for the prelude and each subsection of the bio.
 * 41) **Thanks, I'll get rid of the subsection. Do I need quotes for every subsection? The nomination rules says at least one quote is necessary, but doesn't require more than one. I'll keep working on that, though.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) ***Added quotes to the two subsections under The Skirmish.Axinal 22:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added quote to the Prelude. Axinal 01:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * Your BtS needs work too. Please take a look of some of the passed TCW GAs to help you. It's missing the original airdate, and I would remove that bit of trivial information as well.
 * 45) **I'll work on that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:29, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Few more for now: Your prelude needs to be entirely fixed. Right now, it reads like a short summary of "The Mandalore Plot," which isn't how a prelude works. You need to describe what happened directly before this skirmish began.
 * 48) **I rewrote the Prelude, but I'm not sure how much can be done there, considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish. Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***"considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish." That's exactly what should be in a prelude.
 * 50) ****Prelude has been addressed. Axinal 05:44, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * "During the trip, the Duchess's ship was attacked by the rogue group Death Watch, aided by the Confederacy." Please be careful when you're talking about an organization. It's "the Death Watch" not "Death Watch". Also why are they "rogue"? Quite confusing. I suggest removing that bit from the sentence.
 * 52) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * "As clone troopers searched the ship for suspicious activity," What suspicious activity?
 * 54) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * " Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, who was in league with Death Watch" What did he do to reveal the senator was the traitor? Also, again, what do you think is wrong with this sentence?
 * 56) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***"Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, the only one that the probe did not try to attack." Okay, but now it reads awkwardly.
 * 58) ****Addressed that. It's now more specific than I had intended, but it reads much better. Axinal 16:38, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "The Senator called for the aid of Pre Vizsla," Called?
 * 60) **Fixed. Specified to show that he contacted Vizsla via hologram. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * "In the battle that followed, the battle droids were defeated, and Merrik was killed by Skywalker." What battle? I'm confused here. There should be no separate battle other than the skirmish. Be careful here, as this will greatly confuse your readers
 * 62) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) *Another review on the way.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) Toprawa:
 * 65) * Considering there's going to be a third part to this Mandalorian TCW trilogy thingamabob, if not more episodes, your "Aftermath" section is already going to need an update, which means this article fails to meet GAN Rule 5. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) **And just FYI to the nominator, this is why we don't recommend writing and immediately nominating articles on subjects that just came out in canon, like in an on-going TV program or an on-going comic. Because odds are the subject's development is not done, and there's going to be a new information that needs updating, which isn't good for an existing nomination or status article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Yeah, I suppose I would have done well by waiting until next week. Thanks Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ***Aftermath has now been updated with information from Duchess of Mandalore. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) Xd, round two
 * 70) * The prelude is pretty minimal.
 * 71) **Expanded a bit. Let me know what you think. Axinal 00:36, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***You could still add the TCW trademark "In 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars..."
 * 73) ****Added, though I used "Around 22 BBY" rather than "In".
 * 74) * Is that Mixer image really necessary?
 * 75) **Well, a requirement for GAs is a "reasonable" number of images. I can probably find a different image if you think the Mixer one is unnecessary. Axinal 22:15, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) **Image has been replaced. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * Standardize your paragraph length.
 * 78) **Seems pretty consistent to me, but I can work on it if you can specify. Thanks. Axinal 05:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Fair enough.
 * 80) * Xd 19:56, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Underlinking in prelude.
 * 82) **I didn't link Obi-Wan Kenobi, Duchess Satine, Pre Vizsla, Coruscant, Anakin Skywalker, Confederacy, Death Watch, etc, because they were all mentioned/linked in the introduction.
 * 83) ***You have to link everything possible one time in the infobox, one time in the intro and one time in the main body.
 * 84) ****Ah, I understand. Linked what I could see. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * "and uncovered a plot by Pre Vizsla to overthrow.." Who's Vizsla. Context on him.
 * 86) **Addressed. Specified that Vizsla is the Governor of Concordia. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ***Still put in there something about him being the leader of Death Watch.
 * 88) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * "Anakin Skywalker and several clones were sent to Mandalore.." What clones?
 * 90) **Changed to "several clones, including Cody, Rex, Mixer, and Redeye . . ." Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ***I've taken care of it, but in future, you have to specify they were clone troopers.
 * 92) ****Okay, thanks for that.
 * 93) * "The clones were ordered to search the Coronet.." What Coronet? Again, context.
 * 94) **It's mentioned in the introduction that Satine's ship is the Coronet. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ***You have to provide context whether it is mentioned in the intro or not.
 * 96) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) *****I still don't see any context.
 * 98) ******Done the best I could there. Specified that the clones are aboard the Coronet, the Duchess's ship. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * Mention that both Mixer and Redeye are clones.
 * 100) **Mentioned in the introduction. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) ***Still needs a mention in the main body.
 * 102) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) * I'd replace the infobox clone trooper casualties with "Clone troopers" instead of "Mixer" and "Redeye".
 * 104) **Sure. Do you think just clone troopers, or some clone troopers, or 2 clone troopers? Axinal 22:35, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ***Just, IMO.
 * 106) ****Addressed. Thanks for all your help! Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) * A probe killer attacked Cody and Rex. Who's Cody?
 * 108) **Specified as Commander Cody, and mentioned in the prelude that Cody is among the clones sent with Anakin to Mandalore. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) * I don't see why the last sentence of the BtS is relevant to this article.
 * 110) **I guess it wasn't. Removed. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) * Xd 05:53, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 112) Fett II
 * 113) * In the infobox, I think you can add more for the "results" of the battle. I.e, assassin probes destroyed, Merrik failed to destroy the ship, what happened to the battle droids?
 * 114) **If I may intervene here, that's not really necessary info for the outcome of the battle. All it really needs is something stating that the Death Watch/Separatist plot was foiled (and even that would be optional, as that would be covered by the Republic victory). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) ***Battle droids are still an option, though.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) ****I fail to see how that is necessary. Per tons of other GA precedents, it has never really been done, because it isn't needed. That's what the casualties section is for. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:46, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) *****I see your point there, Jonny. Sorry for the confusion.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:48, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) * "Around 22 BBY, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were sent to escort Duchess Satine Kryze and several senators to Coruscant so the Duchess could defend herself against the claims that she was in league with the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Tense and minor grammatical issues are a problem in this sentence.
 * 119) **If I may intervene here as well, there is nothing wrong with that sentence grammar or tense-wise. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Yeah, I corrected it during my copyedit. It's taken care of.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) * Fact tag in the bio.
 * 122) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 123) * In the bio, you say "(and secretly the leader of the Death Watch)", however, please don't use parenthesis to identify context, as it's frown upon and unencyclopedic. I would change the parenthesis to an "mdash", though, I wanted to let you know.
 * 124) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) * "were sent to Mandalore to help Kenobi escort the Duchess to Coruscant, where she could defend herself in the Senate." Defend herself against what?
 * 126) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) *There are many tiny paragraphs throughout the "skirmish" and "Merrik" sub sections. Please go through each paragraph and merge them together to form proportional, concise paragraphs. Proper formatting is an issue I see with this article. And once that's done, please neatly reorganize your three images. The two that are in the "Merrik" sub section are close to each other and need to be spread apart.
 * 128) * " However, before he could act on his suspicions, he, too was attacked." Attacked by what? Also, please clarify or reword "before he could act on his suspicions". Quite confusing.
 * 129) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) * "Skywalker joined the clones to help in their search. They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." I have been seeing these short, choppy sentences throughout the "skirmish" section. It would be appropriate if you add more detail, though, don't get too "play by play" of the situation.
 * 131) **Addressed choppy sentences. See what you think now. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) * I'm seeing a lack of transition between "They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." and "As Skywalker and the clones continued to search the area, Skywalker noticed Redeye walking toward him.". If they found some crate with its lid open, why is this prominently mentioned and then they ignore it and keep searching? If the crate is important, please explain what's its purpose.
 * 133) **Addressed that. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) * "However, Redeye wasn't answering Skywalker's questions." You never have mentioned that Skywalker was talking to Redeye. Please be careful, as it will confuse the reader.
 * 135) **Addressed. Thanks for the pointers! Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) *That's it for now. I'll contiune with "Merrik's betrayal" soon. Please watch your linking, tense, and overall coherency. Formatting is a major issue I see right now.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 137) The article needs to better follow the Layout Guide in terms of a neutral perspective. The article itself is more oriented around the Jedi's perspective and needs to properly make use of an omniscient perspective&mdash;it's history, not a character's biography or a simple summary of the episode. That means that every single relevant piece of information, including the entire setup of the droids and Merrik's allegiances, need to be detailed in the Prelude. The article is in need of a major rewrite to properly do so. Additionally, I fail to see why the last sentence of the Bts is even relevant to the battle.  CC7567  (talk) 22:20, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 138) Hey there, whatever the article may be, I see the situation with the nomination... still that section you revised is incorrect. The amount of droids destroyed by Skywalker is four time the amount you suggest in the page for skirmish aboard the Coronet. I suggest re-watch the episode and then judge what is wrong and what is right. Cause on the part of false information, the article needs and edit--Dangrievous 19:06, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just about all objections have been addressed. If Xd, Toprawa, and JangFett want to take another look to make sure they are satisfied, I'd be much obliged. Thanks again! Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hero of Tatooine

 * Nominated by:  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:09, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first nomination ever, hoping I did a good job. Thanks to Xicer9 for a preliminary review.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Your first vote ever, then. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:53, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Pre-nom review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:14, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Round One
 * 2) * "The hermit made his opposition of the Galactic Empire clear within the first few minutes of the two's dialogue, a view the spacer shared." It's been a while since I played that quest, but are you sure that the spacer agreed with the hermit? It sounds kinda pov-ish, and the spacer could have been aligned with the Empire.
 * 3) **As I noted in the Behind the scenes section, if, during your conversation, you make your support for the Empire clear to the hermit, he will refuse to talk to you, so no quest happens if you do.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It's good for now. Also, I haven't read the BtS yet. ;)  JangFett  (Talk)
 * 5) * You say "spacer" quite a lot throughout the intro and parts of the bio.
 * 6) **I tried to vary it as much as possible with other synonyms for it from the spacer article. I went through and used more, as well as terms like "would-be hero".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * "The hermit wondered if the spacer could become worthy of being named a hero, which the spacer boastfully claimed they could." Hero of what? Also, this sentence is quite confusing. You say that the hermit wondered if the spacer can be that hero, although in the next part you say they could.
 * 8) **This little bit is taken almost verbatim from the conversation between the two. First the hermit is unsure, and your response is to say that you can be the hero, and has the hermit respond that maybe you could. SWG at its very worst writing, I'm afraid. However, it doesn't really belong in the intro, so I removed it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***"The hermit required the spacer to show good faith toward him. He told the spacer to find a squill] skull he had misplaced, which the spacer retrieved. The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become the Hero of Tatooine." These short, choppy sentences can be condensed into one sentence. Also, keep in mind of pbp (play by play). pbp is discouraged, as it's not encyclopedic.
 * 10) ****Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * "The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become a hero." A hero of what?
 * 12) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * The intro is unusually structured, and could be condensed.
 * 14) **Condensed it into two paragraphs.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Be careful, as I see numerous of tense shifting in the intro.
 * 16) **Hopefully adressed. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * I see this "hero" pop up throughout the intro, and, as the reader, I don't quite understand what is going on. Can you explain eariler in the intro what this "hero" is about? I know what you mean (Galaxies-wise), but not everyone played the game.
 * 18) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * As for the intro condensing, the second paragraph of the intro has too much detail. You can explain what these "four traits" are, but straight-to-the-point. Same goes for the third paragraph too.
 * 20) **Fixed, condensed all four into a simple description of each task and rolled the third paragraph into the second.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Good job with the condensing of the paragraphs; however, I'm not sure what you meant with this sentence: "For the first task, one of intellect, the would-be hero found a bounty hunter in one of the settlements on Tatooine and assisted her in discovering who her target was amongst a group of smugglers." Specifically, "one of intellect". Same goes with "one of courage".
 * 22) ****It was meant to refer to the aforementioned task. While I don't see how it could be confusing, I clarified them.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Yes; clarification was needed.
 * 24) *That's it for now. I'll read the first section of "history" once the intro objections are fixed.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Hopefully this has all been addressed so you can move on to the next part. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Skippy Farlstendoiro objects the quest
 * 27) * Intro: I strongly believe that the qualities (Intellect, Honor, Courage, Altruism) should not use capital letters; they probably do so only as in-game words. Besides, in the History, they don't use capital letters.
 * 28) **Agreed, changed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Hist/A strange hermit:"the spacer quickly declared that they could become a hero." Do you mean he could? This is repeated in further paragraphs: "He told the spacer that if they truly wished", eg. I think "the spacer" can also be a group of spacers (players) and you alternatively refer to "the spacer" in singular or plural.
 * 30) **I used gender-neutral terms because the spacer, or spacers, can be any sex and virtually any species, or at least one of the playable species in SWG (Wookiee, Human, Rodian, etc). Also, the word they can refer to a single person, just something I had to use to keep it gender-neutral. As for using a group of spacers, while it is possible for a full group of 8 (the maximum in the game) to complete the quest together, the narrative of it is setup as if one person completed it at one time.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * The Mark of Intellect: Can you specify which "detective work" was performed to find the target? Interrogation, searching pockets, intimidation?
 * 32) **Clarified, it was interrogation.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The Mark of Honor: 1st paragraph. Let me see. The hermit met with the pirates and told the pirates to look for the two besieged ranchers the pirates were already harassing?
 * 34) **Clarified a bit that he is talking to the spacer.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * If the "startled woman" is Helen Goldenfield, I suggest to add her name to the text. Also, her husband's.
 * 36) **Made their names visible in the body.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * The Mark of Altruism: Context on the Sennex on first mention.
 * 38) **Added that they were a criminal group in their first mention of that section.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *Good job; I'm waiting for your next nom. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) The Grand Master's first look
 * 41) * Just at first glance, I'm seeing linking issues. Remember, link everything once in the intro and once in the body.
 * 42) **Could you elaborate?  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ***I don't see how further elaboration is necessary. Simply put, the article's linking is currently inadequate. Please go through the article and make sure that everything is linked appropriately. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ****Went through and linked some more things, but if you see anymore, please be specific.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) *Also seeing lots of unnecessary fluff. Remember, this is an article about a title; anything that is not of significant importance to the title should be removed. (i.e. is any of the following really necessary: "The star-hopper greeted the old man and they began to chat, the spacer initially wondering what someone was doing living in the bottom of a cave filled with such ferocious creatures. The hermit explained that he had lived there for so long, the squill no longer bothered him. The conversation quickly turned to the sad state the galaxy was in, the hermit bemoaning the fact that criminals and pirates traveled freely, that the Old Republic had been shattered, the Jedi hunted to extinction, and that over all this, the shadow of the Galactic Empire loomed overhead." ?)
 * 46) **While I agree the initial part about why the hermit was living in the cave isn't necessary and I removed it, I believe the second part is needed to understand the reasoning behind the title and the adventure that went into it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I understand where you're coming from, but I still think it's too fluffily worded; a couple parts of the article could easily be cut down to be more concise. Also remember, this article should be mainly about the title. Right now it sounds more like it's about these characters' storylines. (And I understand that the quest is important, but right now it seems to be the article's focus, as opposed to the title itself. Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ****The article being less about the title and more about the adventure that went into it's creation and how the spacer gained it is intentional. I was trying to find a way to present these events and I didn't see any better way to go about it. The title is informal and didn't exist until the spacer did the things they did (which I added a note about to the intro).  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *****Okay, but the fact remains that this article is supposed to be about the title. What I would suggest to do would be to state the basic steps required to recieve the separate Marks and eventually the Hero of Tatooine title, and then just summarize how the spacer did it.) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ******I trimmed down the intro. Look it over and see if that is what you were looking for. However, I must still disagree with this objection for the various reasons I have already stated.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 20:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *******Yes, the intro looks fine now, but it's the body I'm concerned about. The point I'm trying to make is that this is an article about a title. Trying to include every aspect of the quest in this article would be like taking the Jedi Master article and explaining how each Jedi Master made it to the Jedi Master level (including each and every mission along the way that helped to elevate them to the position), which would not only make the whole article very unwieldy but would also completely lose the focus of what the article was about to begin with. That information belongs in the character article; not the article about the title. As a title article, it should have information about the title itself, and then a summary of how the title could be obtained. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:14, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ********OK, by your reasoning, to me, there's no reason to have anything past the intro, which isn't much of an article to me.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 00:59, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) *********That's not what I'm suggesting; the main point is that this is an article about a title and not an event. Therefore, the article's focus should be the title and a summary of how it is acquired. The way it reads now, it sounds like the article is about the storyline/quest. Yes, the quest is essential to the title, but it does not need to be nearly so play-by-play as it is now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:21, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:20, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) *I understand that the spacer's gender has not been confirmed, but please use other pronouns than "they", because this can be confusing. (i.e. at the beginning of the body, you say "In 1.5 ABY, during the height of the Galactic Civil War, a lone spacer was exploring the Squill Cave on Tatooine. They ventured deep&hellip;" "They" who? I'd suggest using "the spacer" and synonyms for such. Also, please make a note of this unconfirmed gender in the BTS.
 * 56) **Hopefully addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***Still seeing lots of "They"s referring to the spacer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * Also in the BTS, you should never address the reader as "you"; instead, simply refer to "the player" and synonyms for such. ("If the player is a supporter of the Galactic Empire and tells the hermit such when you initially talk to him, the hermit will refuse to offer the quest and tells you to return to him when your opinions have evolved.") Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Also, please change the "A strange hermit" heading, as "strange" is too POV. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) **Changed the heading to "The hermit in the cave".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:38, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * O_o our first title nom too. Not an easy task, since there's no set layout or infobox to use. Kinda reminds me of Grunny's first nom. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 15:33, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes it did seem rather daunting to take on something without any precedent, but I really liked the quest chain and wanted to do it justice.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 15:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

 * 1)  Objections unaddressed for three weeks. Nominator appears to be taking a leave of absence from the site, with recent contributions dating back to March 1.  CC7567  (talk) 04:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Nevermind, I misread the date; objections are only two weeks old. Vote halted for the time being.  CC7567  (talk) 04:37, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) * "Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A vampiress&hellip;

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 19:45, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) If she was no longer a member of the Jedi Order I would give her a different infobox. Either Dark Jedi or the basic character infobox.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 09:36, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *You're right, changed to normal character infobox, since there is no evidence she was a Dark Jedi.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Attack of the Clone
 * 4) * Please establish a time frame in both the intro and body.
 * 5) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Can the city and planet get linked?
 * 7) **Don't see how. Are they really important enough for their own articles?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***If they exist in canon and are unique, I fail to see why they don't.  CC7567  (talk) 21:43, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The Jedi Master's Force powers: specifically how, seeing as he's dead?
 * 11) **That is what Z-18 tells Windu in the comic.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Please avoid starting two consecutive sentences with "After" in the body.
 * 13) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Please employ the proper capitalization that the MOS provides for titles.
 * 15) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Was she Force-sensitive or not?
 * 17) **Since she was a Jedi, then yes, she was.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I see absolutely nothing in the article that reflects this, which is why I asked in the first place.  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****So should I add that she was a Force-sensitive? I didn't think that was needed for Jedi-related articles.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****At the very least, you need to add the proper category.  CC7567  (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Rajine informed him that it was because she had been draining his life-force." So what does that say about what she began to do from the instant that Windu arrived in her city?
 * 23) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ***That means that you need to say, "When Windu arrived in the city, Rajine began to drain his life force."  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Starting two consecutive sentences off with "After" resurrects the same problem that I asked you to fix earlier.  CC7567  (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Sorry, taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * Why did Z-18 have to free Windu?
 * 29) **Since his intentions were not relevant to Rajine, I didn't add anything. Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ***No, that's not what I meant. If he has to be freed, you're implying that he was imprisoned somehow. Kindly clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ****I added "After imprisoning him" in the paragraph above, which should clarify it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * Please make sure that every detail in the last paragraph of the Bio is completely relevant to Rajine and shorten it if possible.
 * 33) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "She punched Windu, knocking the Jedi to the ground. She also used Windu's lightsaber to destroy Z-18, remarking that she should not have kept the droid after Samuro died. Windu revealed that he had Samuro's holocron and activated it." Extremely p-b-p. The jump from her sending her minions out to find Windu to punching him is rather sudden and unexplained.
 * 35) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * Most of the P&T sounds like it's just copied from the Bio and doesn't show what sort of impact her actions had on her personality. Please try to expand it.
 * 37) **Not much to work with, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * No more images that can be added from the comic?
 * 39) **Well, there are, but I can't scan any images and upload them.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***So can someone else with the comic upload them, then?  CC7567  (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I'll ask around.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *****As I'm not that much of a stickler about images, I'll strike this so that it doesn't hold up the nomination, but please still try to find another image to add to the article. (If you can't get any more images focusing on her, you might consider adding any of the already uploaded ones with a caption to clarify its relevancy to her.)  CC7567  (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *I will be running through this with you one more time to make sure that it's in good shape. Please continue to work on your grammar.  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **Ok, then. Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * In the intro, how is Windu's search for Alpha-2 Squad relevant to Rajine? Please clarify this better without saying the exact same thing that the body does.
 * 46) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * I rather doubt that the clones of Alpha-2 Squad were dead if they simply reawakened after Windu freed their life-forces. Windu's beliefs aren't necessarily the canonical interpretation of the events.
 * 48) **Rajine's, Samuro's, and Z-18's entries in the CSWE state that they are indeed zombies.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***Then if the CSWE states that, you need to source it to there. However, the sources are clearly conflicting unless a "zombie" is still alive, because the clones and the rest of her victims quite obviously weren't dead when they reawakened after they were freed. Please find a way to clear up this issue.  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****It's sourced there, but I don't think I'll be able to find any canon way of clearing this issue up.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *****Perhaps ignoring the CSWE's interpretation and adding a Bts note on why you're doing so? Leaving the issue there isn't going to solve it&mdash;it needs to be addressed one way or another unless it's completely impossible to do so, which I don't believe that it is.  CC7567  (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ******Is this good?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:40, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) *******Is there a better way to clarify what you're specifically doing in the article? Saying something like "This article assumes that the comic's interpretation of the facts is correct" will help to confirm why exactly you're bringing the issue up.  CC7567  (talk) 04:42, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ********Added to the end of the paragraph.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:41, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Limit the use of "freed" in the intro.
 * 56) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:09, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * Is there any significance to Z-18's line that Rajine had expected Windu?
 * 58) **I don't think this has relevance to the bio.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ***It could be that she was able to sense his presence.  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ****Maybe, but without official clarification I can't say this for sure.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * Is there any significance to Rajine's line, "Perhaps, but I'll live far longer than you"?
 * 62) **I added a bit more to the second paragraph of the bio, including this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ***Any relevance to the P&A, perhaps?  CC7567  (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:28, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) *Please check the article against the comic to make sure that everything necessary is there.  CC7567  (talk) 04:56, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) **I think everything's there.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) Toprawa:
 * 68) *This article's P/T almost completely misses the point of the section. The article treats this P/T more like a general summary of the article rather than focusing solely on Rajine's personality. I would suggest completely rewriting this from scratch and narrowing your focus from summary to specific personality traits. The P/T may, as a result, turn out to be much shorter. That's not a bad thing if that's the only information available.
 * 69) *These two BTS sentences makes absolutely no sense. The first suggests that the comic depiction is in error or otherwise inconsistent, but then the second sentence states that the article assumes this same depiction is canon. What? "However, in the comic, Rajine's victims are depicted as coming back to life after Mace Windu and Samuro's image recite an incantation that frees the people from Rajine's control.[1] This article assumes that the comic's interpretation of the facts is correct." Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments''
 * Anyone who owns Clone Wars Adventures: Volume 9 and can upload images, please let me know.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Ludo Kressh's pedicure

 * Nominated by: Calithlin (comlink) 18:30, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hilarious amount of information for a malevolent nail trimmer.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Preliminaries
 * 2) * Expand the intro. One that only consists of one sentence is not adequate.
 * 3) **Expanded the intro. Not sure if it should be longer/more detailed without ruining the rest of the article.Calithlin (comlink)
 * 4) * Full sourcing is required in the infobox and body if there's more than one appearance.
 * 5) **Added sourcing Calithlin (comlink)
 * 6) * Speculation does not belong in any article on Wookieepedia.
 * 7) **Removed/edited what I think you thought was speculation. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 8) * Nothing to specifically describe the set? Not even in a "Description" section?
 * 9) **Described what could be described in new description section. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 10) *Please make sure that you are absolutely confident that the article adheres to every single one of the GAN Rules listed at the top of this page, which should ideally be done before nominating an article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Driveby!
 * 12) * Source the Fact tag. Xd  20:13, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **The one about what was inside of it? I figured it was all I could do to make the description section more than one sentance long, since it is never shown what is inside. I'll move that to behind the scenes.
 * 14) Nayayen
 * 15) *"The artifact was later discovered by agents of the Jedi Covenant and taken to the Sanctum of the Exalted for study, and later discovered by Zayne Carrick and his partner, Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph." This sentence is too long, please break it up a bit.
 * 16) **Broke this up.
 * 17) ***Perhaps add a little bit to say why/what they were investigating?  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * "Ludo Kressh slowly executed every member of her family one-by-one." I can't find anything saying that he killed them one-by-one, just that he killed them.
 * 19) **Changed to 'Ludo Kressh executed every member of her family, starting with her father'
 * 20) * Your linking needs improvement: link once at the first mention in the infobox, intro and main body of the article.
 * 21) **Added/removed links to follow as detailed above.
 * 22) * The content for the "JAQ1" ref should be put into Cite web. You'll probably want to use the link, title, access date, author and format fields.
 * 23) **Done and done.
 * 24) * There isn't really a need to include "Gryph" in Hierogryph's name when you first mention him because you don't use the nickname anywhere.
 * 25) **Removed.
 * 26) * The Bts doesn't need to summarise the events you've already described in the history. It should contain information about what it was portrayed in.
 * 27) **Hacked out all the story elements.
 * 28) *Nothing more from me on an interesting choice of article.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  15:58, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) I could find nothing in the eBook source mentioning the pedicure set. And the Q&A only confirms that the pedicure set found in the KotOR comics is Ludo Kressh's actual pedicure kit. I don't think this article should include the other source. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:19, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified clone trooper officer (Tsui Choi)

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a documentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *****I'll strike this for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) *How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 31) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 32) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ******You haven't added anything about his status as a clone stormtrooper. (And the infobox still reads "commander") NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *******Changed that in the infobox, but we have no source that he became a stormtrooper. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ********The fact that he is a clone trooper who transerred into the Empire army means he is a clone stormtrooper per works such as Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader or even, I believe, Star Wars: Battlefront II.
 * 38) *********Well, but we cannot be sure. If you don't insist on it to 100 percent I wouldn't add it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **********The Grand Army of the Republic no longer exists at this point, and the clone trooper classification went with it. There are only stormtroopers after about the first few days of the Empire, and SW:P happens well after that threshold, so we can be 100% sure he's a stormtrooper. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***********Included it in the bio.
 * 41) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 42) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 43) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) * Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) **Added.
 * 48) The Grand Master
 * 49) * The intro is a little long for the article's size; could it be cut down a little?
 * 50) **Shortened.
 * 51) * Could you mention sooner in the bio that this officer served under Choi during the Clone Wars?
 * 52) **Better?
 * 53) * What do you mean "a blind alley?" How was the alley "blind?"
 * 54) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 55) ***So you're saying it's a dead end? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ****Yes.
 * 57) * I fail to see how the fact that this officer trailed Choi makes him loyal.
 * 58) **Well he was loyal to the Empire by executing Order 66.
 * 59) ***Yes, but you just say "as a loyal clone trooper," implying he was loyal in general. And he is just as much a traitor to Choi as he is loyal to the Empire. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ****Changed to loyal to the Empire.
 * 61) *"Although a trained soldier, he was unable to defend himself when he was attacked from behind by the Jedi Master, an event which resulted in his death." This isn't very clear: how was he unable to defend himself; did he even get a chance to defend himself? Also, does this really belong in the P&T?
 * 62) **Better?
 * 63) ***Okay, but then what does this have to do with him being a trained soldier? If he didn't get a chance to defend himself, then he would've died no matter what, and it doesn't matter that he was a trained soldier. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Corrected.
 * 65) *****Okay, but I'll repeat: does this really belong in the P&T? What does this have to do with his personality? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) ******Well, several clones managed to kill their Jedi officer and he could not due to faster reactions of Choi. I removed it.
 * 67) *As a note: please watch your linking in the future, as well as your grammar. And remember not to link anything in quotes or images unless they do not appear in the article's body itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:00, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:51, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) *Eh and what would you say about Narus last objection. Is he a stormtrooper or not ?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) **Per precedent, I would say yes, he became a stormtrooper. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) ***Included it in the bio. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Geonosian spy

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An article with really weird quotes, although they all still relates.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) * Eh, could you modify the P&T image caption to a real sentence?
 * 2) **Try it now. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***It's still not a real one. Something like "The Geonosian spying on the Jedi" could work. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ****Actually, I think it's just fine. You can find similar caption in the article Galen Marek, in BtS. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *****Well, is Marek a FA/GA? -- Xd 14:33, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ******... ... good point. :P Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *******I took care of it myself, but for future reference, it's always "spy on" someone".
 * 8) ********Ol'right- thx. Kreivi Wolter 15:08, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Airdate for the episode?
 * 10) **Righto. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Source for that? You can source it to the Ep guide. -- Xd 06:24, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Sourced. Kreivi Wolter 14:15, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * Mention his homeworld in the bio as well.
 * 14) **Geonosis is mentioned already. Per TCW clone trooper articles, I dont think its really neccessary to give it further explanations. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Unsourced statement in the infobox.
 * 16) **Got it. Kreivi Wolter 20:02, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * The first section of the bio isn't completely sourced.
 * 18) **Fixed. Kreivi Wolter 14:54, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *-- Xd 19:39, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Lee
 * 1) * Is there any source that Geonosis is his homeworld. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:50, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **It's rather obvious, but not confirmed. Removed. Kreivi Wolter 19:20, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Thanks. I rember Geonosian colonies on Hypori and aslong it is not confirmed that it is his homeworld infact, it shouldn't be there. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) One thing I'm noticing are the quotes. If you cannot find suitable quotes, then you don't have to add any for this matter. The bio quote in particular makes no sense. The only one I see that's proper is the head quote.  JangFett  (Talk) 08:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *Thought they dont make sense, they all still relates to this article. Kreivi Wolter 16:35, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) **How are they relevant to the Geonosian spy?  JangFett  (Talk) 17:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Just read the quote description. Kreivi Wolter 17:16, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ****You misunderstood me. Unless the quotes are from the Geonosian spy or have anything to do with him (good example meaning the head quote), then it's proper to add a quote. However, your bio and P&T quote make no sense regarding the Geonosian spy. I fail to see how they are even relevant to his character, as both show nothing about him.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:22, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *****Well argued. Kreivi Wolter 17:30, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ******That's how it should be, Kreivi. Just remember what I said. If someone mentions the spy indirectly, then it would also be a proper quote. However, those two quotes that you had in the bio and P&T had no meaning to his character.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:40, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Fett
 * 12) *"Jedi Padawans Barris Offee and Ahsoka Tano, who were trying to destroy the foundry by detonating its main generator, sneaked through the catacombs and accidentally awakened the Geonosian, who, unsure about the presence of the Jedi, started to follow their track." First off, "detonate" it with what? Second, if he was sleeping and unaware of the Jedi, how did he start to "follow their track"?
 * 13) **Well, it wasn't really told in the episode. He didn't see the Jedi when he awoke, yet he still started to follow them.Kreivi Wolter 17:15, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Explode it with what? "Exploding" doesn't work here.
 * 15) ****Rewroted as I dont think that the T-detonators are important enough for this article to mention.
 * 16) * "After spotting the pair and hearing about their plan of, he quickly ran to inform Geonosian Archduke Poggle the Lesser about it." This needs clarifying. I don't understand. What "plan"?
 * 17) **Better?Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * "The Archduke then confronted the Jedi with his minions, but they were unsuccessful to prevent the destruction of the generator, and the foundry was destroyed." "Minions"?
 * 19) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *Why do you begin the bio with "This Geonosian male was a member of the Confederacy of Independent Systems during the Clone Wars, and served under the command of Warlord Poggle the Lesser, the Archduke of Geonosis."? If he has a proper name, then you shouldn't make it seem that it's conjectural. Also, please clarify Poggle's context. Is he a warlord or Archduke?
 * 21) **Adressed. And Poggle is both of them. Just like Wat Tambor is both Emir and Foreman. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Emir is a title, Foreman is the head of an organization. Also, I would just remove the warlord. We don't need to know it, and Archduke will be more concise with the intro.
 * 23) ****Then why can't Warlord be a title, and Archduke the head of an organization/planet? Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * When did the Second Battle of Geonosis take place? If you recall any TCW battle articles, please refer to the "Around 22 BBY".
 * 25) **Sigh. I was trying to leave it out of this article, as its highly overused in TCW articles. Still, noted.Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) * Please double check the proper name for "Geonosis primary droid foundry". This name hasn't been mentioned in any of the episodes. Double check the episode guides, or please pipe link it if it doesn't have a proper name. Conjectural titles are not to be linked as is.
 * 27) **I actually took it from its article, which was without the conjecture title. Adressed. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ***You need to double check your sources. Don't assume anything thing that you see from non FA/Ga articles.
 * 29) ****Okay. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "They soon found themselves in a small hall where Geonosian soldiers were sleeping, one of them this Geonosian." Despite the grammatical error ("them this"), please reread this sentence. Why do you use "this Geonosian"? Again, he has a proper name. Don't make it sound that it's conjectural. Also, if the article is about the Geonosian spy, why is the pov focused solely on Barriss and Ahsoka?
 * 31) **Rewroted. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) *"When the Padawans tried to sneak past the hall, the Geonosian, in sleep, accidentally turned his hand right on the head of Offee. With the help of Tano, Offee managed to loose herself and the Jedi continued their journey, but only seconds after, the Geonosian awoke." Very awkwardly phrased. Also, what Geonosian?
 * 33) **Better? Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ***"The pair were previously tasked with destroying the main generator of the foundry" By saying "previously tasked," it sounds like that they no long2er need to complete that task, as it was probably completed.
 * 35) ***Removed "previously". Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * I would clarify which Geonosian you are talking about. Throughout the article, it seems very confusing as to who this "Geonosian" is. Saying "Geonosian spy" would be proper.
 * 37) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) *"However, they were unable to prevent the Padawans to detonate the generator, and the factory was ruined by the following explosion." Awkwardly phrased.
 * 39) **Roger roger. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Like the previous objection, please clarify this: what did they use to destroy the foundry?
 * 41) ****Rewroted as I dont think that the T-detonators are important enough for this article to mention. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *Your P&T drags on too much. Much of the information is just reworded information that has been stated in the bio.
 * 43) **Shortened. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"Like most of his species, he spoke the Geonosian language, and was capable of flying." Do you really think this is important enough to mention?
 * 45) ****Maybe not. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *"Even though the character speaks few words in the episode, his name does not appear in the credits. The character is currently unnamed, however, the episode guide calls him "a Geonosian spy" in one section." Why mention the credits? If he's not mentioned in the episode, and only the episode guide, then please mention that only. A good example to follow would be the BtS of the Koho article.
 * 47) **I actually used it per this article's BtS. But removed anyway. Kreivi Wolter 17:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Again, don't trust anything non FA/GAs claim. Check your own sources, just to be sure.
 * 49) ****Fair enough. Kreivi Wolter 14:28, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *Overall, please watch your grammar. I'm going to give the article another look through.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:24, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Images already asked from JMAS. Bless him for his helpfulness. Kreivi Wolter 14:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Srrors'tok

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:05, March 11, 2010 (UTC) -
 * Nomination comments: Predatorial, growling furries with life-debts. Meet the poor sentient's Wookiees. From WEG, offered to you by WP:AS

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:21, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 00:54, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * This problem, and the next, have both occurred in a number of your noms. Please try to check these before nominating in future. Quotes and image descriptions do not require a period unless they are complete sentences.
 * 3) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Please check again. Notice I said quotes and images. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Oops. Changed now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *** Question. Is that intro quote actually spoken by Rahmma? It sounds more like something Tremayne would say. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Double-checked: p24, Often, a slow growl with a mumbled, "Kneel ... now," and a flexing of his taut muscles is more than enough to bring a potential combatant to his knees. Refers to Rahmma intimidating a third party, not to Tremayne humiliating Rahmma. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Referencing always occurs after punctuation.
 * 9) **Took care of the only one I saw. -- Xd 13:57, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * neither could abandon them to their fate. Missing some words.
 * 11) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Srrors'toks were susceptible to low temperatures, being uncomfortable when naked in cold climates. The first half is a little redundant, and the second could then be integrated into the next sentence.
 * 13) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * combined in an intricate and elaborate way growls, grunts and clicks,[1][3] the natural sounds that they could produce easily. Reword.
 * 15) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Should a person save the life of a Srrors'tok, then the Srrors'tok was supposed to be indebted to the saviour. Reword.
 * 17) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * this case was nonetheless commonly of the disliking of that Srrors'toks. Doesn't make sense to me. Reword.
 * 19) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Make sure everything is in past tense.
 * 21) **Double-checked. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Srrors'toks consider greatly disgraceful to contract Reword. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:35, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) Eyrezer:
 * 25) * Ahnjai appears to have a mane around his throat that is both longer and a difference color. Can you add something about this?
 * 26) * Tyionsis was native to Sellasas. Can you add something about this? It also mentions in his article that he joined because the Alliance wiped out his village. Can you add something about this too?
 * 27) * Did you have someone check the CSWE for mentions? --Eyrezer 01:30, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **IT does have an entry: "Srrors'tok - The feline species of Ahnjai Rahmma, bodyguard to High Inquisitor Tremayne." Vol. III, 185. --Eyrezer 03:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **All shoulkd be done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Malak (Rodian)

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:20, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Alek who? A Sith Lord? No, sorry, that name doesn't ring any bell.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great job, Skippy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:22, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:21, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:23, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:46, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From one Malak to another&hellip;
 * 2) * Is the "burly" in the intro necessary?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:19, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Maybe not. Gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:20, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Other than that, looks good to me, Skippy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:19, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Soresu
 * 6) * For quotes that are translated, use the template.
 * 7) **Done. -- Xd 09:38, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Mention birthdate in intro and body.
 * 9) **Mentioned. -- Xd 09:38, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * You have overused "at this point". Try using some synonyms like "by this time".
 * 11) **Replaced one of them. -- Xd 09:38, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Hey um Xd, are you actually working with Farl to pass these noms? If you aren't, then I would ask that you refrain from addressing all these objections. The occassional one or two is OK if you feel you are able to do it better than the nominator, but at the end of the day, nominators should be fixing a majority of them. Otherwise, they don't learn. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 21:55, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ****I thought everyone were allowed to fix objections? I've seen some Inqs among others doing it. -- Xd 17:16, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *****In theory, yes, there is nothing stopping you from addressing another's objections. But normally, people only fix others objections if they can do it better than what the nominator could (for example, they are an expert on the subject, or they own a source the nommer doesn't). By making Farl himself address these objections, he learns from the mistake and (hopefully) won't make the same mistakes in future noms. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:36, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Malak worried only about the money Worried sounds a little unprofessional.
 * 16) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:11, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * not about the shape or lives of the people she sold. Wait, the shape of the people she sold? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:27, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:11, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) Toprawa:
 * 20) *Please at least leave a redlink for this starship: "and took him aboard her starship"
 * 21) *A reviewing note, please make sure to capitalize "Battle" in mentions of specifically-named battles, such as the Battle of Endor.
 * 22) *Also, I would like to see you begin to pay more attention to your pipelink formatting. Specifically, making sure to capitalize, for example, "piracy," instead of "piracy ." This is something that is resolved by reviewers in every single one of your nominations, so it's about time you begin handling this yourself.
 * 23) *Otherwise, good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:06, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can the template be used for the main quote?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:13, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nevermind.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:14, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Traavis

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Insert funny comment about this dude being named after Karen Traviss here&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

(1 ACs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:12, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:23, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) With a name like Skippy Farlstendoiro, I cannot make fun of anyone's name. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:02, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Are we allowed to object to terrible naming choices?
 * 2) * "skirmish between the clones and the Separatist battle droids." A little context on the fighting forces.
 * 3) **Well, the comic begins in the aftermath of said skirmish, so I don't really know if I could give any context for this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I mean that there is no context that the clones fight for the Republic or that the droids fight for the Confederacy. Something like saying "a skirmish between the Grand Army of the Republic and the Confederacy's droid army"
 * 5) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context on Supreme Chancellor Palpatine in the intro.
 * 7) **Are you looking for something about his status as a Sith Lord? If so, I really don't think it's needed, it would be different if it just said "Palpatine", but I think Supreme Chancellor is enough context.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Not really, I mean it seems out of place to name him in an article that doesn't go into the motivations behind 66. After thinking about it, his name should probably just be removed.
 * 9) ****Normally I would just go ahead an do it, but the other Order 66-related character articles have Palpatine in the intros, and not saying who the Chancellor is would probably not look right.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Alright. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:20, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Traavis, now a Jedi Knight..." He was part of the Jedi Order?
 * 12) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * "During the clones' mission, Traavis received news that General Grievous, the Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Army, had been killed." This seems a bit tacked on the paragraph. Reword it a bit.
 * 14) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Better. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:46, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * In the article, it refers to his troops as "the Aiwha Squad." is this the IU wasy to say it? If not it should simply be "Aiwha Squad."
 * 17) **I honestly don't see the problem, it's not as if I'm referring to a person. I don't think I can say, for instance, "Palpatine ordered Aiwha Squad", no&hellip; there needs to be a "the" there. I'll double-check the comic and the CSWE, though.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***On a side note, I've removed all references to "the" before Aiwha Squad. They are not needed, and look out of place. Rejigging of sentences has eliminated most of them in any case. Compare it to starfighter squadron naming; generally Rogue Squadron is refered to as "Rogue Squadron", not "the Rogue Squadron". - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:12, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Alright, noted for future reference.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * This isn't really an objection, but is there any way to get either a picture of his death or of his lightsaber? They would make great additions to his Bio and Bts respectively.
 * 21) **I'll ask around for scans from Volume 4.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *At least he went out like a punk. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:27, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Tru dat. Thanks for the review, Naru.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:16, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) Soresu
 * 25) * During the Clone Wars—the conflict between the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems—Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic. Without the dash, it effectively reads During the Clone Wars Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic.
 * 26) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) * He also congratulated Aiwha Squad for successfully completing their mission. Really meh IMO. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:06, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **I'm not so sure about this. I think it is important to state this. Could you try it? Thanks for the review, BTW.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***You can state what you want in the P&T, as long as you can extrapolate something about his personality from it. Maybe just put that he was grateful of the squad's work, instead of just stating something tht he did. In any case, made sure is repetitive ATM. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:17, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:41, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) Look, his birthplace was named after me
 * 32) * During the Clone Wars—the conflict between the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems—Traavis, by then a Jedi Knight serving the Jedi Order as a General in the Grand Army of the Republic. This sentence needs a verb.
 * 33) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * a five month campaign. I might be wrong but, shouldn't be "a five-month campaign"? I don't fix it myself because I'm not sure.
 * 35) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * P&T: You use "also" twice almost in a row. Suggestion: Remove or change one.
 * 37) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * BtS: Probably some actor or model provided his face for Traviss in Insider. Can't you find information on that person's name?
 * 39) **Looked for the online supplements for the issue, and those links aren't available. The issue itself says nothing.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thanks for the review, Skippy!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:52, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

C'borp

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 04:29, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: All power to the mighty Slugman.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy  9281 07:28, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Heil to the Slugman! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:10, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:33, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:04, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy laughed out loud with the Nomination Comment
 * 2) * Per the Bio quote, C'borp is on a first-name basis with his captain; I think this deserves mention as it suggests either a personal friendship with him or a lack of professionality of the crew (depending on the behievor of other crewbeings)
 * 3) **Eh. I wouldn't assume anything. It's C'borp's only quote in all of the Star Wars canon, and its nowhere stated that C'borp has a personal friendship with Stonebone.
 * 4) * Three sources are not referenced in the body. No new info from any of those? Seriously?
 * 5) **Nope. None. They're all just short rehashes of what he did on the Starjacker.
 * 6) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:34, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Cav:
 * 8) * Due to knowledge gained from a previous excursion to Ambria - do we have an article for this event? If so, it must be linked to. If not, and it is notable enough, it should be created and linked to.
 * 9) **I created an article yesterday, but I forgot to link it. Done.
 * 10) * Some information on the ultimate resolution to the mission after C'borp's death would be appreciated. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:01, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Added.
 * 12) Naru
 * 13) *"Although Dreebo quickly moved to attack the Marauder Starjacker, every shot he fired missed; taking the opportunity, C'borp fired back at Dreebo, destroying the enforcer's starfighter." The semicolon seems misplaced here. Rephrase, perhaps?
 * 14) **Nah, I think its fine there. The reason I put it there was to split the sentence without making them into two, choppy individual sentences.
 * 15) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 19:15, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) NaruHina... hmmm... Soresakashi? Makaresu? Sigh. Soresu will have to do for now.
 * 17) * While serving on the Marauder Starjacker, C'borp took his position at the laser turrets to fire on an Ithullian ore hauler commanded by Captain Gruna. Could you provide a dab on context as to how at complete random starts to fire at the hauler? Maybe just explain that they were attempting to steal the ore it contained? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:14, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Addressed.
 * 19) Toprawa:
 * 20) *Who knew of this? Please specify: "it was known that the Adegan crystals were being kept" Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:54, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Arhan

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 05:14, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 16:55, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) A notable article. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:51, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:41, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:31, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Skippy; we'll eventually end CRO at this rate
 * 2) * Intro: from base-line Humansin What's Humansin?
 * 3) **There was a space missing.
 * 4) * Culture: No section? If you can confirm that Peert was a Human (unsourced in his article), then you can mention that Arhans married Humans.
 * 5) **Peert's species is not identified, although he looks like one and is the only person not to have it explicitly named so probably a good candidate for the "duck" test. If they had childred - ie Arhan/Human compatibility, I'd put it in, but I don't feel it is enough to create a culture section.
 * 6) * History: A notable Arhan was Filice Ginzork. Was she in-universe notable?
 * 7) **Changed. --Eyrezer 17:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Hist: The last sentence flows awkwardly. Could you move it to just before "Filice operated as the Shield's slicer" or before "Filice and Peert lost two of the original members"?
 * 9) **Moved. --Eyrezer 01:05, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *Good job, as always. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Four to go according to CUSWE... --Eyrezer 01:59, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Baseline or Base-line?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:43, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *base-line --Eyrezer 00:47, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Covallon

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:20, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:36, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:01, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Seriously, they're sentients. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:13, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Cav
 * 2) * Covallon society developed to an early information technology level by the time of the Galactic Civil War, although most Covallon were comfortable with technology. Something about this sentence doesn't quite work; they had an information technology level society, so why wouldn't they be comfortable around technology?
 * 3) * While I am all for not "dumbing down" articles, the use of the word "antecedents" seems a little off when "ancestors" could be used instead. Although technically correct, ancestors would seem more fitting in this instance. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 16:49, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) **The implication in the source is that an "early information technology" is quite primitive by galactic standards, but that Covallon are also compfortable with more advanced technology. I've added a bit to hopefully make this clearer. And made the change to your second objection, too. --Eyrezer 04:08, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Skippy. Alien species. Of course
 * 6) * Intro: I cannot see the use of the semi-colon, but maybe it's just me.
 * 7) **But I like semi-colons! :P
 * 8) ***Okey, it must be just me.
 * 9) * In the galaxy: About the part about Luke Skywalker trying to supervise the arrest of the Moff. Is it really relevant? I mean, maybe it is for the article on vuv Tertarrnek, but not for this one.
 * 10) **Are you suggesting cutting just the last sentence? Or more? If just the last, I'd be fine with that.
 * 11) ***I'll be fine if the last sentence is cut.
 * 12) ****The scissors have been out. --Eyrezer 18:43, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * Maybe you could describe the naming convention used by this species? A name with a lowercase particle is exceptional, not to mention the æ.
 * 14) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:25, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **How about this? --Eyrezer 18:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * Make sure everything is in past tense.
 * 18) * Covallon society developed to an early information technology level by the time of the Galactic Civil War, although most Covallon were comfortable with technology. You need to specify what type of tech (I would assume modern) in the second case. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:58, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Should both be addressed now. With the first one, I found one 'has' that should have been a 'had'. Please feel free to make such changes yourself if you see them in my noms. --Eyrezer 18:43, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Cacop

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 02:21, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: #4 for the time being

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Graestan ( Talk ) 04:37, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:42, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:54, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:30, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:26, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  CC7567  (talk) 02:50, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Do we have/ should we have an article for "Protectorate" in regards to its relation with the Galactic Republic as a political entity? If so, then it needs to be linked to. -  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 16:41, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Were the Cacops themselves a protectorate or was their planet?  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:23, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *If I may address both of you as one, an article has been created for Galactic Republic protectorate and made consistent throughout the article that it is the planet not the species. --Eyrezer 03:53, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Skippy will eventually tell Cacops apart
 * 5) * Link "protectorate" in the intro.
 * 6) * Bio flows weirdly. I suggest two sentences and re-organizing the second one to avoid pasive: "Humans found difficult to tell Capocs apart." Or even better, to differentiate.
 * 7) * it soon became a Republic protectorate. Reword; "it" could refer to Veccacopia or to the Republic.
 * 8) * When first mentioning Valorum, please specify his background, particularly as a non-Cacop.
 * 9) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:38, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **They should all be addressed. --Eyrezer 17:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Brandy MacMillian

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 00:39, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Cav returns to the GAN page ... and he's brought some DarkStryder with him!

(3 ACs/6 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 00:52, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice&hellip; was missing the DarkStryder stuff. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:18, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Cleanest article I've read in a long time.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Though please check the Appearances list to clarify that what I've added is correct.  CC7567  (talk) 04:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Nice.  JangFett  (Talk) 04:20, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Quite excellent. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:36, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Make it 7. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:29, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Redundant votes FTW. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 19:09, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Bandwagoning FTW. -- Xd 19:11, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Cantryl

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:10, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Since you liked Brandy MacMillian so much, Cav presents another from DarkStryder.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) First! NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:59, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Clean. Graestan ( Talk ) 20:59, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Because Brandy doesn't need any more votes. :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:44, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) *In addition to charging large prices to the desperate, you should mention his lie about the content of the map in the P&T. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:43, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa:
 * 4) *If he was born during the waning years of the Republic, he needs a Rise of the Empire era tag.
 * 5) *Article needs some kind of first-appearance or first-mention template. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:40, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Dreebo

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:46, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Short and sweet.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:35, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, every one of my objections misses! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:06, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) —Tommy  9281 04:11, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:29, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) OMG. They killed Dreebo! You b*st*rds!
 * 2) * Although Dreebo was not one of Bogga's best, the Hutt trusted him enough to send him on important missions. Is OS that specific?
 * 3) **It says "Dreebo is not one of Bogga's best" but Bogga still had him out and about on his mission.
 * 4) * However, Dreebo's gunning skills left much to be desired, and every shot he fired missed its target. Again, is OS that specific? Maybe Dreebo was a good gunner but his opponents were better.
 * 5) **Nope, the story says he was not very good. And it says "Dreebo is not one of Bogga's best: every shot misses!" It basically says he's terrible at it.
 * 6) *Cannot offer any other objections. ---Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Toprawa:
 * 8) * Are we sure this character isn't meant to be a Pacithhip? Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:46, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Nevermind. Spoke with Tommy, and we agreed there's too much discrepancy between Dreebo's appearance and that of the Pacithhip to make the assumption. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:57, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Flanker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 257 words. Hope he stays over 250 words during the nom. Should be clean of all my earlier errors

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *Intro should be proportional to to bio.
 * 3) **It is not. Should it be longer or shorter.
 * 4) *Fact tag in the infobox.
 * 5) **Sourced.
 * 6) *"Flanker along with hatchmate Shiv did some desert training around 22 BBY and Shiv enjoyed it writing letters at Flanker, even after Flanker’s death in the Battle of Christophsis." Awkwardly phrased. Please watch your grammar. Also, context on "desert training".
 * 7) **Reworded, but we have no context on the training.
 * 8) *"Flanker, along with his hatchmate Shiv, did desert training and Flanker joked that one of them would get shipped to a water planet after this." After what? Also, please add context to "desert training".
 * 9) **See above.
 * 10) *"Shiv enjoyed writing letters to Flanker, although Flanker wasn’t much for it." "Wasn't much for it"? Please clarify.
 * 11) **Better?
 * 12) *"Flanker was killed during the battle, which resulted in a Republic victory," This makes it sound like that the Republic won, because of Flanker's death.
 * 13) **Changed.
 * 14) *Please clarify this: "but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker - because that relaxed him – until he was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, which was – ironically – an ice planet." Does Shiv know Flanker is dead? Also, please watch your grammar. Why are you using ndashes or "-"?
 * 15) *"Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper he died on Christophsis." How is this relevant to the P&T?
 * 16) **Changed.
 * 17) *"Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training." "He wasn't much for Shiv's letter?" Reword.
 * 18) **Adressed.
 * 19) *I don't understand why you mentioned the illustrators names in the bts.
 * 20) **Removed.
 * 21) * JangFett  (Talk) 20:38, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) War is hell, and Skippy is objecting
 * 24) *although Flanker wasn’t much for it. You are using exactly the same expression Shiv used in a quote of the article. Can you replace it with a synoym?
 * 25) **Changed.
 * 26) *Suggestion: A new paragraph just after that sentence.
 * 27) **Done.
 * 28) *"ironically": NPOV?
 * 29) **Removed.
 * 30) *Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. Why "but"? Is there any relation between not being much for letters and having a sense of humor?
 * 31) **Adressed.
 * 32) *Maybe you should mention that Shiv talked about Flanker with commander Mag?
 * 33) **Added.
 * 34) *Link Mag somewhere, even if it is in a quote.
 * 35) **Linked.
 * 36) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Lens Reekeene

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Rebel General to be used as a NPC in a RPG Campaign, and part of my own mini-project. Currently 1200 words, probably I'll try for a FAN later.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Gray Jedi

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:00, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After incrementally improving it for some time, I undertook a major re-write of this article in response to concerns voiced by Akujenkins over the release of newer sources that provided a conflicting definition of the term. I believe that I have followed the correct formatting rules and style, but this is my first article nom.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) A quick glance shows major sourcing errors. Did you read the requirements before you nominated this? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes, but I probably missed something. I will re-read the Wookieepedia:Sourcing guide. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I see what you mean. The article currently has single instance refs using multiple ref format, should be using the long ref list format (although this might change upon fixing other problems), it has numerous references in the introductory paragraphs, it has references placed within punctuation (and mid-sentence), and I erred on the side of inclusion&mdash;violating the "ref articles as sparingly as possible". I will try to fix these issues. Have I missed anything else on this front? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *I have made an initial attempt to bring the REF problems under control. Doubtless these will need more work as I address formatting errors. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *For starters, I would suggest reading through WP:MOS and WP:LG before anything else. This article is a mess as it is right now and needs a heavy formatting makeover. With all due respect, I can guarantee this nomination will not proceed any further until this is resolved satisfactorily. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:15, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **I will do so, thank you. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***I would also suggest looking at and reading through any of our current Featured and Good articles, specifically organization articles and the like similar to this one, which will serve as excellent models. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I am looking at Disciples of Twilight and Shapers of Kro Var. The disparity is, frankly, embarrassing. I apologize for nomming this article. I will do what I can. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****No problem. This is how we learn. I'm encouraged by your willingness to improve the article and quick recognition of trouble areas, which is a lot more than can be said for most new nominators. Feel free to take your time addressing anything problems. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ******Thank you for the encouragement. When I nommed the article it didn't even have an infobox. That's pretty ridiculous. :( &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Please see WP:ATT and check the article against it, as there is a rather excessive amount of speculation in the article. (That extends particularly to the "Possible Gray Jedi" section.") Additionally, please try to avoid using bullet lists where possible, as it's better to simply section off the information and expand upon it (such as Wraith Squadron's Member section) instead of plainly and blatantly listing it. Also, the article should be written completely in past tense per the Manual of Style.  CC7567  (talk) 21:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Thank you for the example, I was just looking for one so I could kill the bulleted list entirely. I have just cut the examples down to known members but have yet to comb through the paragraph content for speculative statements. I thought I had covered tense but I am not surprised to hear I have missed some instances considering the larger state of the article. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *Okay, the Known Gray Jedi section has been improved. Now that some of the major formatting issues have been resolved, I'm going to walk away from the article for now. I will come back to it tonight or tomorrow to start wrangling the text into line. Thanks again all for the suggestions. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 22:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *Alright, the article has been circumcised of all assumption, supposition, interpretation, specious reasoning, redundancy, and assumption. I have also evaluated for tense, and found that yes, I am, a little. Hopefully the article is at least less offensive now than it was when first nommed. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 02:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments