Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Gallandro


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gallandro

 * Nominated by: Havac 23:51, 7 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Daley + WEG + hired killer=awesome. Now if only KJA hadn't screwed around with it. Havac 23:51, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 22:42, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:28, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:57, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 22:56, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:51, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Add a couple more images. For instance, an image of Odumin wouldn't go amiss. --Eyrezer 03:32, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I generally don't like to do that unless the article is really bereft of images and I'd just be presenting the reading with a big wall of text. For this, I don't think an image every other section is amiss. I'd rather not get into "Han Solo: Gallandro shot him" "The Mor Glayyd: Gallandro was going to duel him" territory unless I really have to, and I don't think this is really a case of have-to. Havac 04:31, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **There are some pretty big walls of text there... I think an image of Anja would be entirely appropriate for the legacy section. --Eyrezer 05:21, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***See how you like that. Havac 22:06, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I guess that will do. --Eyrezer 23:19, 10 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Four Dot:
 * 7) * The intro is just a touch too gargantuan. Out of kindness to the main page, do you think you could trim it down?
 * 8) **Trimmed. Havac 03:25, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "As he looked at the orphans like himself, Gallandro realized he had no sympathy for them." - This could be worded a little better. "Like himself" doesn't flow well, I think.
 * 10) **Altered. Havac 03:25, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "He did not truly care about others—not strangers, not his parents. He barely cared about himself. He lived for the kill." - Bit flowery.
 * 12) **Deflowered . . . wait. Havac 03:25, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Quite. Thefourdotelipsis 10:29, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * You seem to have quite a few instances where you say "and" twice in quick succession, which doesn't read well. You should probably reword these sentences.
 * 15) **Ands significantly diminished. Havac 03:25, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *More later. Thefourdotelipsis 01:58, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) More
 * 18) * I think you got most of them, but I found another: "Solo and his companions Hasti Troujow and Alexsandr Badure were suspicious, but agreed."
 * 19) **Varied. Havac 20:14, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *Otherwise, excellent. Thefourdotelipsis 10:29, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Pasta:
 * 22) * "He made his fastest draw yet&hellip;" This seems like OR or speculation. Is this actually stated as such in the Corporate Sector Sourcebook? I don't have one handy, so I am not certain. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:48, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **It is indeed. Havac 00:51, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Sounds good, then. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:57, 5 June 2009 (UTC)