Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Andoorni Hui


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Andoorni Hui

 * Nominated by: Colinmcev 07:05, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Expected this to be a Good Article nomination, but damned if it didn't turn out to be over 1,000 words. I think it's pretty good considering the lack of material for the character...

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:18, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- Harrar 11:51, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:58, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:36, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:56, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Welcome back, Colin. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:03, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Needs a P&T, even if it's only a rehashing of the hunter stuff mentioned in the bio. Also, I'm not sure the custom figure info merits inclusion. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:29, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Whoops, completely forgot the P&T. I added it. I also removed the custom figure stuff and just made it an external link; I thought it was funny, but you're right, it's not really appropriate for the entry. Colinmcev 14:03, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From DC
 * 4) * Expand the intro.
 * 5) **Expanded it a bit. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Oh, and now that you expanded it, there's two POV issues in there. "performed admirably" and "nearly killed." DC 17:04, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * The first quote in the Bio seems messy. Make sure you included everything in it, including quotations and such, and check the formatting of it.
 * 8) **That's the quote; "Rogue Squadron" is a clause thrown into the middle of the sentence. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***It was a different quote, but I fixed it anyway. DC 17:04, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Her first name, one of the more common among Rodian females, means "adventurous" or, more literally, "heedless of danger," might fit better in the BTS with some tweaking.
 * 11) **I think it belongs where it is. Putting it into the BTS would be more appropriate if I was discussing how the author chose the name (like in my other FA nomination, Groznik), but in this case we're talking about the commonality of the name within the Star Wars universe. Know what I mean? --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Heh. I'll see what others think of it, but for now, I'll strike the objection.
 * 13) ****I think it is fine, as it's IU, canon info. Also, there's a precedent of sorts to include it, per Ibtisam's article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:41, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * How did Hui and Lujayne Forge become friends?
 * 15) **Basically just by rooming together. I added that. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * First you say Devlia is an admiral, then later in the section, you say she's a general. Which is it?
 * 17) **Whoops, I accidentally gave Devlia a promotion! lol. It's admiral, I fixed it.
 * 18) * I noticed that the quote at the beginning of the Death section has the same problem.
 * 19) **That's the right quote. It was chatter during the battle, so I mentioned that in the quote attribution to try to give it some context. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ***I don't think you noticed the problem I was talking about, but I fixed it anyway.
 * 21) * Does Hui do anything else in the First Battle of Borleias besides getting killed?
 * 22) **Frankly...no. lol, I did what I could with a pretty limited character. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * Why do Rodians join the Galactic Empire over the New Republic. The article seems to be heavy on this topic, yet no explanation is given.
 * 24) **I base this on a quote from the book itself by Rhysati Ynr about Andoorni Hui: "What about Andoorni Hui? She's a Rodian and most of them tend to work with the Empire. Did she do something to anger her old employers?" In the Rodian entry, there's this mention: "During the time of the Galactic Empire, the Rodians were ruled by the Grand Protector Navik the Red, of the Chattza clan. After instigating an inter-clan war and seizing power, Navik tightened restrictions on emigration and built ties with Black Sun and the Galactic Empire." I guess if you think it's necessary, I can try to bring that into the Andoorni Hui entry; I'd have to find the original source, but I'd do it if needed. I just don't know if it will weigh down her entry or not. What do you think? --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *** That was from Shadows of the Empire Planets Guide, if I recall. If you'd like, I'll flip through it and find that.   Trak Nar  Ramble on 04:49, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) ****Sure, I'd very much appreciate it! --Colinmcev 05:08, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *****I went ahead and added the reference. If you find that source is wrong after all, just let me know or remove it. Thanks! --Colinmcev 14:31, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ******It's right. Don't worry about it. DC 17:04, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * The P&T section could use a good copyedit. By reading it, it seems very rushed.
 * 30) **You couldn't have been more right! There were some rather embarrassing grammatical errors in here which are now fixed. --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) *Good read. I hope to see more FAs out of you. DC 02:56, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **Thanks for the help! --Colinmcev 03:43, 17 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) From the perilous voxyn warren of Harrar
 * 34) *First off, good to have you back.
 * 35) **First off, thanks! :D --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * Do we need the "also" in "also personally assured"? I find it reads better without it.
 * 37) **Removed it. --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) * I feel "destroyed" is not really the right term here. Any alternatives?
 * 39) **I changed it to say she was killed when her X-wing was destroyed. Better? --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * The present tense of "means" is slightly off-setting, being as we're so used to having none whatsoever in our articles. Could it go into the past tense?
 * 41) **Changed the tense. --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) * Ackbar's position needs qualifying as the head of the military.
 * 43) **I referenced his position in the second reference and removed the first one all together, changing it to New Republic Defense Force officials. I figured identifying his title in the intro would weigh it down, and it wasn't crucial his name be included there anyway. --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * Is one "under" a death mark? Doesn't read quite right.
 * 45) **Changed to simply "had" one. --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) * When you say "One night", is it possible to provide the rough length on time they'd been at the base for before the attack?
 * 47) **I looked back and it looks like they were moved about one month after the squadron was formed. Good suggestion~ --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * "Fitted with a hover chair" makes her sound like a cyborg. Please reword.
 * 49) **Done.
 * 50) * Expand a little as to the fact that the loss of her stabilizer renders her unable to evade the TIE.
 * 51) **Done, though I kept it simple. That work? --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) *Good work, Colin. Harrar 17:31, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 54) * "she helped protect a New Republic Imperial Customs Frigate escape from Imperial capture" -- the descriptor for the Frigate seems strange to me, and if it is not a mistake, it needs to be explained somehow so as to not put off readers. Same applies in the bio.
 * 55) **I changed it to just "frigate" so it'd be less confusing. --Colinmcev 01:01, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * Is it definitely stated that she joined the NR, and not the Alliance? She might've been a member of the Alliance before Endor. I'd check if it's stated, but I don't have access to Rogue Squadron atm.
 * 57) **No, I guess it doesn't definitively say, so I changed it to include the possibility that she joined during the Alliance days. --Colinmcev 01:01, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) ***Looks good, though it appears there was a copy/pasting error of some sort. I've fixed it now, though. :-)
 * 59) * "Hui became the second Rodian pilot to serve on Rogue Squadron, and one of only three Rodians to ever fly with the squadron; the others were Standro Jcir in 5 ABY and Koobis "Target" Nu in 7.5 ABY." I suspect this may be OR, even if not deliberately so. Just because these are the only Rodian Rogues we know doesn't mean there can't have been more. Unless this is stated somewhere, or if we have a full roster of Rogues which makes any additional Rodian Rogues impossible, I'd like to see this reworded to be less speculative. "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absense," as Grae said above somewhere.
 * 60) **I changed it. a bit.
 * 61) ***There was a tiny bit you missed but I got it.
 * 62) **Good stuff. I like reading articles about the lesser-known characters in the Rogue Squadron novels and comics, and it always surprises me that we know much more about them than I thought we did. Keep it up. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:41, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) ***Thanks!--Colinmcev 01:01, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 65) * Link to/expound upon the Imperial admiral mentioned with respect to Vladet.
 * 66) **I had mentioned in the previous sentence that it was against Devlia, who I linked to in the previous paragraph. But I do think the wording I used may have confused that, so I changed the last sentence to include Devlia's name again. --Colinmcev 00:35, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * "Like most Rodians, Andoorni Hui had green skin and long, dexterous, sucker-tipped fingers, as well as large black spherical eyes. Her lean and wiry figure was typical the active lifestyle of her species due to a love of fighting, a trait channeled Hui channeled into a life as a huntress." In general, we frown on physical descriptions in P&T, unless the individual has some signifying physical trait that's related to their character. That said, I would remove both of these, or at least cut the first one and rephrase the second one so it's more pertinent to her character.
 * 68) **Done. Better? --Colinmcev 00:35, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) * "indicating a semblance of morals and ethics less commonly attributed to her species," The word "indicated" sounds a bit speculative. Reword it please.
 * 70) **Rephrased. --Colinmcev 00:35, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) * " reformed Rogues indicated that Hui was an talented pilot" Ditto.
 * 72) **Done. --Colinmcev 00:35, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) * "seemed to get along with and care about them, as indicated " Same. That whole second paragraph of P&T could use some tweaking.
 * 74) **I tweaked it here and there, but am still open to suggestions. Thanks! --Colinmcev 00:35, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 75) *Looks good overall and glad to see you return. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:47, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) Toprawa:
 * 77) * It seems like she should have a Rebellion era tag at the very least, since I'm assuming from the information we are given concerning her childhood we can reasonably assume her canonical existence prior to 5 ABY.
 * 78) **Done. --Colinmcev 02:44, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Remember to add them to the infobox too.
 * 80) * You source the meaning of her name to the Galactic Campaign Guide, which is fine, but you don't list it among the Source list. I'm curious as to why - should it not be there?
 * 81) **I just forgot. Added it. --Colinmcev 02:44, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) ***Remember to always organize source lists by OOU publication date.
 * 83) * It had to be one or the other. Which was it? "When Hui came of age, she joined the Rebel Alliance or New Republic"
 * 84) **Frankly, I don't know. I originally had that she joined New Republic, but one of the previous objections said since the source material doesn't definitively say whether she joined during the time of the New Republic or Rebel Alliance, so I changed it to indicate it was one or the other. What do you suggest would be the best way to approach this? --Colinmcev 02:44, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 85) ***I could provide a very generic, roundabout way of wording this, but I'm interested to see what the book actually says. Can you dig up this passage for me?
 * 86) ****The closest we get to an explanation of her joining the Rebellion/NR is actually from the Ooryl quotes featured in the article. They describe her as joining Rogue Squadron, but there's never a clear specification as to whether she joined during the time of the Rebel Alliance or New Republic. Here's the passage: 'Ooryl blinked his big compound eyes. "Not her. Rodians are hunters who live and die by their reputations. Andoorni is a huntress who decided that joining the most celebrated hunting band in the galaxy-Rogue Squadron-is a way of furthering her reputation. Ooryl does not think she did anything to bring the wrath of her past patrons down on her head."' --Colinmcev 03:32, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 87) *****K, well your intro states definitely that she joined the NR. It seems to me at least it would be ok to go with that, but if you want to take the better-to-be-safe-than-sorry route, you could say something generic like "she joined the fight against the Empire." Either reword both, or just change the bio. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:05, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) ******Sorry to interject, but as someone who has read the X-wing novels several times, it's pretty clear that Hui joined the New Republic, not the Rebellion. At the time the novel takes place, Rogue Squadron was reforming, under the auspices of the New Republic, a full two years after the Battle of Endor.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:02, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) *******That was my assumption at first too, but after the previous objection I went back and reviewed it, and it didn't seem there was a definitive claim as to whether she joined in the New Republic when the Rogue reformation began, or if she had joined the Rebel Alliance years before and was already a member of it when they reformed. That being said, I'm still inclined to agree with Goodwood, so I'm going to change it to New Republic. Toprawa, since it's your objection to strike or not, let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 03:22, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) ********That's fine, Colin. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:03, 31 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 91) * You should add something to the BTS explaining that she was first visually represented in the Japanese editions of the RS novels, as I'm understanding from the infobox image. Try to find out the artist too. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:24, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) **Couldn't find the artist, but added the references. --Colinmcev 03:32, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 93) ***I won't hold it up on this, but send a PM to whomever uploaded that image and see if they can provide you with a name. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:05, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) **Not an objection, but be careful of overlinking. I'm finding a lot of instances throughout that I've cleaned up. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:33, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments


 * Do all Rodians have green skin? Where's Trak Nar to clarify ;P? Harrar 17:31, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * I know at least Jannik has white skin. Colin, perhaps you should change it to "most Rodians" or somesuch? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:53, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. Damn albino Rodians! Messing up my Wook entries! lol --Colinmcev 23:11, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Jannik is cool. He cannot mess up any Wook entries. :-D -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:41, 18 July 2008 (UTC)