Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Revan (third nomination)

Revan

 * Nominated by: Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  21:52, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1) MULLET MAN FOREVAH 2) I'm incredibly sorry. 3) No, I'm not insane. 4) What can I say? I got bored.

Quick look from the Council Chambers:

 * I'm going to take Jang's comment and make it a formal objection. The intro is way too long. I can tell that simply by the fact that I have a 1080p display, and I still have to scroll down to read the rest of the intro. For comparison, Wedge Antilles is over twice the size of this article, yet his intro is just 607 words compared to Revan's current 1,428. Based on that, I'd like to see the intro cut at least in half. Summarizing is the key here; notice how the Wedge intro handles three X-Wing novels with a single sentence about Wraith Squadron. Let the reader get the details from the body; in an article of this size, small details don't belong in the intro. Three to four paragraphs of the current size, maybe four to five if the paragraph size is reduced, should be the target here.
 * Cut down to four with 672 words. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:12, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Much better. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink 17:28, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * I may make a full review later if I get bored, but there's no guarantee. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Holocomm 22:57, June 21, 2013 (UTC)

SE decided to take a crack at it

 * Early life and Jedi training
 * In the first paragraph of this section, two sentences in a row are started with the, "The child" and "The Jedi Master" Would you mind switching one up a bit?
 * Uh... the first one is referring to Revan, and the second is the title of Kreia. I don't really see the need here.
 * Same with the second paragraph of that section
 * Same here. The two sentences are talking about different people. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:14, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Looking at it now, i'm not sure why I objected to this :P Apparently you object to some wierd stuff when reviewing while tired :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 16:40, June 22, 2013 (UTC)

The crown jewel of WP:KOTOR

 * These following objections are preliminary, although this section of objections will deal with the article in full. In addition, I intend to make this review my finest, as the scope of this article and the subject in question will require that.
 * Aboard the Endar Spire: Now believing himself to be a Republic soldier&hellip; If you could source his position as a soldier, that'd be great. I know that the Essential Guide to the Force, a conversation with Onasi in-game, and the TOR Encyclopedia.
 * Done.
 * Upon entering the next hallway, the two soldiers discovered a pair a Sith troopers and opened fire on the boarders. Continuing through the ship&hellip; So what happened to the troopers?
 * Done.
 * until they happened upon a Jedi and a Dark Jedi battling each other. Please link the Jedi and Sith to their respective articles.
 * Bah. I even looked at their articles while looking through the KOTOR articles.
 * Throughout the "Searching for Bastila" subsection, the image captions are in italics. Could you correct this?
 * Currently, I am unable too; there seems to be a problem with the Gamemechanics family that italicizes image captions if they are on the next line after the template. I'll have someone look into this.
 * OK.
 * Fixed. The templates in that family all had a stray  near the end of the code. Removing that solved the issue. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink 19:56, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Did you check the CSWE for some information? I am only asking out of curiosity, because when I read through the article, I'll make a point to cross-reference. Nice job thus far, I'll continue later. I like how you handled my girl Yuthura.&mdash; 14:19, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Yep. Read through all three volumes for any mention of KOTOR, and used all the entries to establish as much of the game as canon as I could. Thanks.
 * Returning to May and the others, Revan informed them of the terentatek's defeat, and the grateful students fled the shyrack caves to freedom. Please reference this. &mdash; 14:21, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * Don't forget to add that he used a violet blade in his duel with Malak, as far as Timeline 8 is concerned. &mdash; 14:26, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * I wouldn't call that a violet blade; it's really more blue to me. Besides, going by Shadows and Light, Revan has a blue blade during the duel.
 * I won't argue.&mdash; 14:48, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * I would also like to add, thank God that that Chee actually confirmed that "Mullet Man" was the facial model used in TOR. I've been bugging him for months about this issue.&mdash; 14:31, June 23, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

 * You have no life. On the other hand, amazing job. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 21:59, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * I can't really tell on this screen resolution, but that intro is ridiculously big (no, this is no joke).  JangFett  (Talk) 22:03, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Per dogma and Jang. Fe Nite (talk) 01:07, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
 * Well, I've asked around, and a lot of people believe it's a good length for the size of the article. A lot happens to this guy. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  01:13, June 16, 2013 (UTC)