Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Melida/Daan Unified Congress Building


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Melida/Daan Unified Congress Building

 * Nominated by: Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 03:47, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first GA nom, so I decided to start with something small.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great job.  Graestan ( Talk ) 22:07, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi beacon ) 02:28, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 04:50, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 19:46, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:40, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 2) * Context for the Melida, Daan, and Young in the intro and body of the article.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * A time period for the Young's occupation of the building belongs in the intro.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * There are quotes. Quotes about the situation, for instance. Quotes are there.
 * 7) **OK, I did some digging and found one quote that refers to government buildings in general; it's now the lead quote. That's all I can find that mentions or refers to the building directly or indirectly.
 * 8) * Graestan ( Talk ) 12:41, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) The Word of the Grand Master
 * 10) * "Tumultuous" is somewhat unclear. How was it tumultuous?
 * 11) **Removed.
 * 12) * "Constructed during a rare time of peace between the native Melida and Daan tribes, which had been at war with each other longer than anyone could remember, the building only stood undamaged for three years, after which war was once again declared and the building was bombed." This should be broken up with dashes or into two sentences.
 * 13) **Addressed, I think.
 * 14) * "between the native Melida and Daan tribes, when the two warring factions tried to rule together." Tried to rule what together? And maybe use a word less colloquial than try, such as "attempted".
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * "In 44 BBY, the Young, made up of both Melida and Daan children" Specifify what the Young was. You say it was made up of Melida and Daan children but you don't say what it was.
 * 17) **Looks like CC7567 took care of that before I could get to it. :)
 * 18) *Good work. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi beacon ) 21:26, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 20) * Seeing as there's only one redlink, you could probably create a stub for the advisory council.
 * 21) **Done.
 * 22) *Good work for your first GA nom. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:59, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Attack of the Clone
 * 24) * "longer than anyone could remember": the "anyone" could be changed to something else, I think. It kind of sounds like the subjects of the article are people, rather than the subject of the article being the building.
 * 25) **Changed to "for centuries".
 * 26) * "by waging a new war against, and defeating, the combined Melida and Daan forces." It sounds a little grammatically awkward, using both "against" and "defeating" for the same sentence. Maybe change it to "defeated" and move it to the end of the sentence.
 * 27) **Reworded.
 * 28) *Good job.  CC7567  (talk) 00:10, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Any indication as to who bombed the building? -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 07:50, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *Never stated. Probably, it was the Melida or Daan, but since it's not explicitly stated, it would be speculation.

Comments
 * No quotes or pictures available; 297 words by my count. Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 03:47, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Duh...I just remembered CSWE. It has been added and some info on a contradiction has been added to the Bts. The article has also been referenced since there are now two appearances/sources instead of just one. Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 03:40, 23 April 2009 (UTC)