Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Eremin Tarn


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Eremin Tarn

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:27, June 18, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yoda: Dark Rendezvous Jedi Part 4 (of 4)

(2 ECs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) &mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 19:42, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 19:53, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) Looks good.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  20:18, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) ~  Savage  BOB sig.png 16:21, June 24, 2011 (UTC)
 * 5) Teff  01:42, June 25, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Exiled Jedi
 * 2) * In the quote I would say Jedi Master Maks Leem instead of just Leem. I think that it would sound a lot better this way.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * I think that you need to mention his affiliation to the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic more directly in the body of the article.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Is there any information on who the principled person he defied the authority of? It seems strange the way it is, but if there isn't any more information then just leave it the way it is.
 * 7) ** It does seem strange, as the way it's written right now I'm not sure whether you're saying Tarn defied the authority of a principled person, or if Tarn himself was a principled person. I suggest rewriting it to remove the ambiguity.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 20:59, June 18, 2011 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Hope it is better now.
 * 9) * On Sian Jeisel's page it calls her as a Jedi Master, but on this page you call her a Jedi Knight. I would try to find out which is correct.
 * 10) **Done. Thanks for the review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) Rubedo
 * 12) * "A headstrong student, Tarn defied the authority of many people, including his Master and also a very principled person." This needs rephrasing. Not sure what you're goingfor with that last bit: is Tarn the principaled person or is it a third person (possibly a new article there).
 * 13) **See above.
 * 14) * "...a Jedi Knight who believed that the Jedi should fight against the seemingly corrupt Republic rather then defend it." I think you're mixing psat and present tense here. Possibly rephrase. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:49, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 15) **Done. Thanks for the review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 16) Axinal
 * 17) * The Affiliation field in the infobox should be reordered to reflect that the Jedi Order is part of the Galactic Republic.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 19:20, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 18) ** I don't recall that this should be the case in any article.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:22, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) ***Also the Jedi Order is "allied" with and protects the Republic, but is not part of itself.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:23, June 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Hmm, for some reason I thought I remembered several articles indenting Jedi Order underneath Galactic Republic, but after looking over several articles with status, it seems I was mistaken. My apologies.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 19:42, June 19, 2011 (UTC)

Comments