Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/First skirmish in Cuipernam

First skirmish in Cuipernam

 * Nominated by: Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:30, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:My first ever nom:)

We are Transforming this article into your first Good article nomination!

 * Hey, great to see you nominating an article! Here goes something.
 * The first word should be "a", "the" makes it sound like the reader should already know what it is
 * Done
 * Context is needed for the guy with the long name who sent the mercs. Same goes for the body
 * Added some info about him in the top, what do you mean by same goes for the body? Just some info about him in the body?
 * Yup, that was what I meant.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * How's that?
 * Context also for the Separatist Crisis and Ansion. When you do the crisis context be sure to say the Shui Mai was a major Seperatist leader.
 * Done, and left out Shu Mai being a major leader because far as I know at that time there was only an informal agreement between her and Dooku.
 * Something will still need to be said about her connection with the CIS, or otherwise it's unclear why she would want Ansion to secede. Also I can't see any context for Ansion, all that needs to be said is that its a planet  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Added a bit more in the prelude, also added planet in the prelude, not sure how I missed that one:P
 * It still doesn't really say how she was connected to the Seps, if you just say that she wanted Ansion to join the CIS it should be fine.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 02:34, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
 * Date is needed in the body
 * Done
 * Context also for those treaties, just briefly say what they did
 * That was all I could find, they were only briefly mentioned
 * It'd be better to say who the four Jedi were in the prelude rather than not introducing them until the skirmish section.
 * Done
 * The word moment is used fairly close together in the skirmish section. Please fix this
 * How's that?
 * The word this doesn't really work in Wookieepedia articles excpt occasionally in Btss, so change that in the aftermath
 * Done
 * It's probably best if you just say Shui Mai and Mousul in the aftermath section rather than pipelinking, since it forces the reader to hover their mouse over the words. Shui Mai doesn't need to be linked there anyway and context will be needed for Mousul.
 * How's that now? Also should I capitalize Senator or President?
 * Check out this policy for help on that.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks
 * Context for Kyaktha and Bulgan
 * Added they were two mentally injured and clanless ansionians
 * Reading this it seems to me like not everything's there that could be, but someone who's read this book would need to help out twith that.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 10:55, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Started flipping through the book to make sure I have everything, should finish that tomorrow night. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:12, January 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * Finished flipping through, didn't find much that wasn't already there. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:27, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Thinking over this objection what I was meaning is that it needs to have more info added about everything, ie Soergg's motives for starting this skirmish aren't really stated, nor are his connections with Shui Mai. Try to think if there's any other stuff like this that could also be said.
 * added a bit to the prelude, should take care of it
 * Here's some more: It needs to be said that the skirmish happened in Cuipernam, which it currently doesn't
 * Fixed
 * Needs some context still, also should be in the infobox as a location, along with Ansion.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 02:34, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
 * Obi-Wan and Luminara could probably be listed as commanders if you say what their rank as Jedi was at the time, since they would be giving orders to their padawans.
 * Done, should I still list them under forces as well?
 * Forces sections don't normally say who exactly was there, more just what type of people they have, ie, a duel between Grievous and some jedi would list the strengths as one jedi knight and one cyborg general, so that section should just have two Jedi knights and two padawans in it.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 02:34, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
 * Something like this?
 * Shui Mai needs to be linked and contextified in the intro. I've got stuff to do now but I'll write some more later.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Should I just say something like president of the Commerce Guild Shu Mai's plot to have Ansion secede from the Republic?
 * That's good.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 02:34, January 21, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

 * The first of many noms for | Project Novels. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:58, January 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Please note I kinda forgot to sign my responses to CC-8's objections, all replies to them are from me:P Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:27, January 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * Most people don't sign when writing their objections like that, as long as you've signed on the last response, it's fine.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * One more note, in the aftermath I state that Bulgan and Kyakhta were tasked with kidnapping one padawan. This is stated in the novel on page 57, though the Essential Readers companion states they were to kidnap both. Should I make a note of this in the bts or wait till I create an article on the kidnapping and note it there? Thanks, Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:52, January 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * I don't think it really needs mentioning in this article, since they're not that well involved in this skirmish, so yeah, probably just put it in the kidnapping article.  Commander Code-8  To say hi, press 42 06:36, January 15, 2013 (UTC)