Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Lock (Eeth Koth)

Lock (Eeth Koth)

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A clone each day keeps the doctor away. One TCW GAN should be on this page

Support

 * 1) Good work, Lee. -- 1358  (Talk) 15:03, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done. I'd like to see more noms of this quality, Lee. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:25, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) A Christian 23:52, May 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 20:17, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Xd1358
Airdate for Grievous Intrigue? -- 1358  (Talk) 10:59, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:04, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Just to let you know, this is not a valid objection. It is completely up to the writer whether or not to put things like the airdates or release dates of sources in articles. The only time the realease/airdate would be needed is for articles about the source itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:47, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Fett

 * In the intro, you say the the Confederate forces were led by Grievous's Separatist destroyer. Reading this sentence, it sounds like the actual destroyer was leading them. Can you clarify that Grievous was leading the troops, onboard the destroyer?
 * Fixed.
 * Is there a way that you can reword this sentence in the bio: "Koth's Venator-class Star Destroyer, with Lock on board, was attacked by..."' It's very similiar to the sentence in the intro.
 * Changed.
 * Removing Lock and changing Venator-class Star Destroyer to just Venator doesn't work. Please reword the sentence.
 * Eh we only know he served on the Destroyer under Koth. It's correct.
 * Please reword the sentence. It's currently the same as the intro's, only it has a few words missing.
 * Ah now. Reworded.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 07:52, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Lock and his troops prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks in order to repel the enemy forces"" How did they know that the super battle droids were about to enter their ship? It sounds like they knew unexpectedly without someone telling them, and then in the next sentence, the supers attacked.
 * Better ?
 * "Lock and his troops prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks and shortly after this, B2 super battle droids used an armored docking tube to board the cruiser and poured into the Republic vessel." How did Lock and his men know that the supers were about to board the Star Destroyer? Also, please check your grammar in this sentence.
 * We don't know how the knew it.
 * You can mention that the Separatist ship was preparing to board Koth's Star Destroyer, and that set up Lock to initiate their defensive positions. You even mentioned they tried to stop the droids from boarding the ship in the P&T, too.
 * Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:08, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * "After a short exchange of broadside fire, Grievous's destroyer forced Koth's warship into submission, intending to board the Republic vessel." So the destroyer wanted to board the Republic vessel?
 * Better ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:06, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Better, but specifically how did Lock and his men know the battle droids were about to board their Star Destroyer? Were they warned? Did they look out a window in the Destroyer?
 * No idea.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:17, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Then, please establish a better transition between these two sentences: "The Separatist troops onboard Grievous' destroyer intended to board the Republic vessel. Lock and his troops had prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks and, shortly after this, B2 super battle droids used an armored docking tube to board the cruiser and poured into the Republic cruiser." It's rather confusing, as it's rather awkwardly phrased, since they apparently knew the droids were about to board their vessel, without warning or consent.
 * Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:31, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Although he and his troops did their best," This is too POV orientated.
 * Fixed.
 * "Although he and his troops did tried to" Try to what?
 * Bah.
 * I'll give it another look after this.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:09, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:38, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

CC

 * Source for Koth's rank of general? Yes, we all know he probably was one, but unless it's directly confirmed (and it wasn't in the episode, which is what you reference it to) we don't know for sure.
 * Removed all instances on Koth being a General.
 * In the body you say that Lock obeyed Koth's order to escape from the cruiser, while you make no reference to this in the intro. (Is it even confirmed that Lock was able to escape? Yes, this is picky, but just because he received an order doesn't necessarily mean that he managed to execute it.) Please bridge this gap.
 * Removed unverified info and fixed.
 * Where was Koth while Lock was battling droids? This is a rather important element that's missing throughout the article.
 * Added.
 * "Lock was a loyal clone trooper and obeyed the orders given to him by his Jedi General": this doesn't have any standing, seeing as obeying orders isn't the same as being loyal&mdash;if we are to assume that Lock obeyed Koth's single on-screen order. Please try to reword so that there can be more factual correctness.
 * Removed that sentence because it had no basis.
 * "He cared for Koth and warned the Jedi of the enemy commando droids." In its current form, this doesn't have complete factual correctness either. Just because he warned Koth of the commando droids doesn't show that he cared for him. Perhaps saying "He showed visible concern when Koth expressed his intention to engage Grievous separately" or something of the like will help.
 * Reworded.
 * Please watch your linking. I have to say that it was quite sporadic.  CC7567  (talk) 03:44, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your review. Next time I double-check linking.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:04, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Jonjedigrandmaster
You say in the intro that Lock and his men were overrun, and then Koth contacted him. However, in the bio you state that they were overrun, before going back to say that during the firefight, Koth had contacted Lock. Which was it? Did he contact Lock during the firefight, or afterward? Jonjedigrandmaster ( Talk ) 17:01, May 23, 2010 (UTC) One last thing: judging from the apparent dialogue that goes on between Lock and Koth according to events described in the article, there should be at least one available quote for the bio. Jonjedigrandmaster ( Talk ) 16:55, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Fixed. Thank you for your review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:29, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Okay, but can you order this chronologically? Why do you say that they were overrun, and then go back to say that he contacted Lock during the fight? Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 18:26, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Better ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:17, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * No, actually; firstly, the only change you made was in the intro, and secondly, you did absolutely nothing to change the order of events so that it read smoothly and chronologically. Please see the changes I have made. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 16:55, May 25, 2010 (UTC)

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