Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Vara Nreem


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Vara Nreem

 * Nominated by: Greyman ( Talk ) 13:22, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Naturally, as a part of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk )

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 14:07, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:33, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:08, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) She exists only to die.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:16, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Only now does she realize, at the end. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:38, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 2) * Nreem soon realized that the spirit of an archaic-looking Sith Lord, whose head was adorned by a crown of spikes and its body enveloped in a massive and swelling robe. I think you're missing something from the end of this sentence but I'm not sure what having never read the source. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:14, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Heh, you are right. I forgot a piece of info that I meant to add near the beginning of that sentence. It's been added now :) Greyman ( Talk ) 12:46, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Tales from the Pasta Bowl:
 * 5) * "Eventually finding her way to an age-old Sith obelisk, Nreem was able to make contact with a 10,000 year old Sith spirit trapped within the walls of a library-temple, confined with the circular walls of the obelisk." The wording of this seems convoluted. Perhaps break this up into two sentences?
 * 6) **Slightly rearranged. Greyman ( Talk ) 08:13, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * "Nreem was able to follow the Force to a strange looking black Sith obelisk that seemed to literally absorb the light from the twin moons orbiting the planet." Strange-looking seems to be POV. Is that an IU phrase or an OOU phrase?
 * 8) **It was an IU phrase, but I've removed it since you're right in that it is slightly POV ;) Greyman ( Talk ) 08:13, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *Other than this nitpickery, I must say that this was a very, very well written article. Great read, Greyman and I pray you continued safety.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:48, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Thanks for your thoughts, and review of this article, Fiolli. Greyman ( Talk ) 08:13, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***You are very welcome.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:08, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 13) * Could we get a brief mention of her early life before the death scene? It's laid out some in the intro, and doing so in the bio would be great, even if it's rather minimal and it would help with the very short length.
 * 14) **Hm, early life? Other than the opening statement in the intro, where it says she was a Jedi Knight who served the Old Republic, I don't see anything in the intro that I would say classified as an 'early life,' mainly because there is nothing available in the sources, unfortunately. Every thing else from the intro, scene for scene, is expounded upon in the body; I slightly tweaked the first paragraph of the body so as to make the point of her being a knight clearer, but I'm unsure of what else there is. Could you clarify for me the info you have in mind, if possible? Thanks, Greyman ( Talk ) 23:38, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Well, if there's nothing other than her established as a Jedi Knight, I'll strike the objection since you've now established that in the body. I thought about it and can't find a way to include other information without sounding Original Research alarms. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:16, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ****Ok, cheers. Greyman ( Talk ) 04:42, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:45, 15 August 2008 (UTC)

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