Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Lira Wessex


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:18, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:47, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) IRC look over. Cull Tremayne 10:05, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Thefourdotelipsis 04:01, 17 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Can we get a lead quote for the "Life in the Republic" section, if possible?
 * 3) **There is none.
 * 4) ***Fair enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * Please source how her Imperial-class designs were inferior to her father's work.
 * 6) **Already there.
 * 7) ***What I was hoping for was at least one example, perhaps a reference to there being "174,000 design flaws" on the ImpStar, as stated in one of the X-wing books, but if this isn't possible, please advise.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please clarify this statement: "the daughter of Walex Blissex, the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic". Was he the chief starship engineer for the government, or simply a shipwright who lent his talents to the government?
 * 10) **He was "the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic who designed the Victory-class Star Destroyer". That's the full sentence.
 * 11) ***Reading this again, if I get what you're saying, it's fixed now.
 * 12) * "Blissex was the finest student that her father had ever trained, and she grew up to be a skilled engineer of her own" reads slightly awkward (second clause)
 * 13) **"Of her own" is removed.
 * 14) * "During the Clone Wars, engineers began designing vessels bigger, faster, and more heavily-armed." This is OR and reads awkwardly...perhaps an expansion and clarification, with references?
 * 15) **It's not OR, and it's sourced.
 * 16) ***Though the paragraph is sourced, the statement itself is not; it is OR due to no examples being described.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Resolved via IRC; sentence reworked.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:17, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * "Her ultimate dream project was the Imperator-class Star Destroyer, which in the wake of her prior success she was able to green-light, using her father's work as the basis of its design." An expansion on this wouldn't go amiss; why was it her dream? What about the design drove her to see it come to life?
 * 19) **There is no more info; see "comments".
 * 20) ***Fair enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * You seem to use the phraseology "in his/her own right" a bit too often in the first part of the article.
 * 22) **It's used twice; the second is now removed.
 * 23) * Any information on how she met Wessex and chose to marry him?
 * 24) **No. See my statement under "Comments".
 * 25) ***Looking at sources about Denn would have helped, maybe?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * Why was Denn Wessex considered a starship genius?
 * 27) **Not known. See statement under "Comments".
 * 28) ***Ibid.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * In the first paragraph of the "The New Empire" section, you use 'political clout' twice, in the first and last sentences. A substitute is desired for one or the other.
 * 30) **Changed.
 * 31) * Please elaborate on what caused the rift between Lira and her father.
 * 32) **Already there. "Wessex saw the new Empire as an opportunity and gladly accepted the New Order, putting her at odds with her father and his beliefs."
 * 33) ***Further information should be found in sources regarding Blissex; this could, theoretically, improve a key section of her biography (IMHO).
 * 34) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Entire planets had smaller gross domestic products than the cost of a single one of these new warships, and heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." Ponderous and awkward.
 * 36) **Split into two sentences.
 * 37) ***"Heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." This sentence is still unclear; did the debates threaten to destroy the Empire, or did they fear that building the Imperial-class ships would destroy the Empire?
 * 38) ****Shifted things around to make it clear "debate" is the subject of the sentence.
 * 39) *****Did a bit more tinkering. All's well now.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 11:58, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * Please elaborate on the ultimate fate of the Imperial-class in relation to Wessex and what inspired her to create the Executor-class. Also, if possible, expand on her involvement in that project as well.
 * 41) **Everything on her involvement is there. See "Comments". The inspiration for the Executor-class is already there.
 * 42) ***Alrighty then.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) * "Wessex was unconvinced, and threatened Kolaff to capture them alive before the ship self-destructed." Threatened him with what?
 * 44) **He says he'll catch them, she says she hopes so, "for your sake". It's a non-committal threat.
 * 45) ***Rewording the sentence may be desired, then, perhaps to "and ordered Colaff to capture...".-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) * "Kolaff was defeated by the Rebels in an AT-ST duel" Something exciting like this surely deserves a bit more expansion.
 * 48) **If this were Kolaff's article, it would. Not relevant to Wessex, though.
 * 49) ***Meh.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) * "Wessex, whose reputation had taken a blow with her failure on the Subjugator, was interested; however, she kept this information to herself, intended to personally present the droid to the Empire once it had proven itself" needs fine-tuning.
 * 51) **Clarified.
 * 52) * Please elaborate on what an Evolution Droid does and its role in the crisis.
 * 53) **Already there.
 * 54) ***You mention them once in passing, but never again. Did they actually play a role in the unfolding chaos? Did they begin turning random persons into droids?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * Military ranks should not be capitalized unless referring to s specific person. "She made a transmission to Captain Orsk of the Star Destroyer Dauntless, informing the Captain of the attack".
 * 57) **Changed.
 * 58) * "While her mercenaries kept the Rebels distracted, Wessex fled the hangar out onto a narrow ledge encircling Cloud City, bounded on one side by the city's edge and the other by a drop of miles into the clouds of Bespin." Awkward.
 * 59) **Split into two sentences.
 * 60) ***Second sentence is still awkward.
 * 61) ****Changed.
 * 62) * "She was cold and aloof—even masculine" -- eh? Is there a source for that?
 * 63) **Yes. And it's already there.
 * 64) ***Was wondering about the use of the word "masculine", but if the source describes it thus...-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * In the BtS: Surely the first and second paragraphs can be merged. Also, the third one should be expanded upon.
 * 66) **There's only one paragraph in the BTS. - Lord Hydronium 03:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * My fault. I meant the P&T with that last objection. Can the first and second paragraph be merged, with the third expanded upon? -- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) **Merged and expanded. - Lord Hydronium 00:16, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) *TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) BtS should include who created her, and probably a tad more sources/appearances info. For precedent, please see any of the last sixty odd FAs in the queue. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:53, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) *We don't know who created her. It's an assumption to say it was the person who wrote the original source (and since there are two authors, we don't even know which one it was, at that). As for source info, I don't believe any more can be added without devolving into trivia; it covers her first mention, her only actual appearances, and says the rest are basically repeating the information from the first mention. - Lord Hydronium 22:05, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) **Fair enough. I still think the authors could be mentioned and the BtS rejigged a bit to look like others FAs' (something like "Lira Wessex was first mentioned in the Star Wars Sourcebook, written by Bill Slavicsek and Curtis Smith..."), but it's not a big deal. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:11, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) ***That's a fair addition. Added. - Lord Hydronium 22:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 75) * "Calrissian threatened to reveal that she had been involved in a rogue mission, and Wessex conceded. She was escorted from the core by Calrissian's guards." A hair more detail here would be nice.
 * 76) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Few things to get out of the way:
 * That gray smudginess on the one image of Lira isn't a bad scan, it's the way the art is.
 * We don't know who the intro quote is to.
 * If there's an aspect of her life that's not in there, it's probably not known. Also, if there's a source in the sources list that isn't referenced, there's no unique info there.
 * The BTS really says all there is to say about her that isn't trivial or already said in the sources section. - Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Is she really referred to as "masculine"? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Yep, her character profile in Starfall. - Lord Hydronium 05:22, 16 April 2008 (UTC)