Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Darth Wyyrlok (III)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Darth Wyyrlok (III)

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 11:46, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: See...I'm not totally biased against Legacy...

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:44, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:09, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Legacy isn't that bad.... DC 16:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:51, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:51, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:42, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From a guy who isn't at all biased against Legacy:
 * 2) * Darth Talon didn't report to Krayt that Cade had healing powers, Moff Rus did. Change this, but don't forget that it was Talon who informed Krayt that Cade existed.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Only Nihl defeated Cade. Talon was disarmed and defeated by Skywalker. Change this appropriately.
 * 5) **Is this clear in the comic? It looks like Talon is moving her arm, using the Force against him or something...am I missing some visual clue?
 * 6) ***They're dueling, Cade has the upper hand against Talon, and Nihl interrupts the duel by Force choking Cade. Talon had nothing to do with Cade's defeat.
 * 7) ****Fixed.
 * 8) * "...which was a Yuuzhan Vong torture device." "Which was"" isn't needed and makes the sentence seem like you're reading it to a child.
 * 9) **Removed.
 * 10) *"Former Senator Gial Gahan had been implicated in aiding the Galactic Alliance with the theft, and so Krayt had him arrested." The latter part of the sentence doesn't read right.
 * 11) **Could you clarify that a bit more, please? I'm not seeing what's wrong there.
 * 12) ***It just feels like it's missing something in the latter part of the sentence. Maybe just put after it, "for the crime," something around those lines.
 * 13) ****I feel that would make the sentence a tad unwieldy. I'm afraid I just don't agree here. Thefourdotelipsis 05:08, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Okay. I see where you're coming from. DC 19:18, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * I think you could make a short P&A section for Wyyrlok, since he is, after all, the master of Sith lore and magic in Krayt's order.
 * 16) **It'd be a sentence at most...I think that 27 will probably give me enough to deal with in that regard, but at the moment it'd be rather paltry and...ugly.
 * 17) ***Hmmmm.....I don't know how it would look. I'll try to see if I can write one, and see how it looks after that. I'll strike the objection though. Darthchristian 16:56, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) *Great article, Fourdot. Darthchristian 02:33, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 11:53, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) Great article, but I'd like to see two minor additions. It should be mentioned that he hoped his daughter would become the next Wyyrlok, and I think mention should be made that he was to only Sith who knew of Krayt's true identity. Other than that it's excellent. Kudos for using "Krayt was not pleased." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:31, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **Got the daughter thing in the P/T, and...are you sure about the Hett knowledge thing? Is that stipulated in the comic? I must have missed it. Thefourdotelipsis 11:53, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *** I believe it is, but I certainly could be wrong. I've got one thing for you: "He then dismissed them, before openly stating that the "Fel" he had just killed was actually a double. After reprimanding his head of intelligence, Darth Maladi, for failing to detect the ruse, he dismissed everyone but Wyyrlok." I'm a bit confused about the dismissing people twice thing. Did he dismiss just the Moffs the first time? A little clarification would help.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:52, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 05:08, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***** Now you use "dismissed" three times in that paragraph.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:39, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **** The identity thing was actually an assumption on my part, though a mention of how Krayt trusted him with it -- but not the other Sith -- in the P&T would be good. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:03, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Maybe I'm not following, or maybe I missed something critical in the comic, but is there anything that says that the other Sith don't know about the Hett thing? It might have been in an issue I didn't read or something...I dunno. Thefourdotelipsis 05:08, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Hmmm. Actually, forget about it. I just rechecked the comic and I was misremembering something. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:44, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) Quotes need to be improved. They are more fit for a recap than for a character article. The whole "dual lightsabers" and "master of Sith Lore" stuff fits better in a "powers and abilities" section than in a sub-section of his biography --Gonzalo84 19:11, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *Well, quote are quotes, and their "quality" tends to be entirely subjective. However, since you're the second person to mention a P&A section, I'm going to relent. :P I've moved that info now. Thefourdotelipsis 00:51, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) ** Still mantain my opinion regarding quotes. There's also redundant information (about being the Third Wyyrlok) at the introduction section that would fit better in the Bio itself. --Gonzalo84 04:40, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***The intro is meant to repeat the info from the bio, in a compressed form. Thefourdotelipsis 04:50, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) ***You're going to have to clarify your objection about the quotes, Gonzalo. "Quotes need to be improved" is not a helpful objection - I'd suggest you offer alternatives for some of them so 4dot can know what you're looking for. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:33, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) *****Fine.--Gonzalo84 04:17, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 35) * Servitude: His grandfather being the first Darth Wyyrlok is mentioned twice. The second should probably be reworded.
 * 36) **The pitfalls of doing things out of order. Fixed.
 * 37) * Krayt's rise to power: "Krayt had his order side with the Fel Empire, which was at war with the Galactic Alliance." Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the Sith pretty much manipulate the two sides into the war, not just jump in half way through? Green Tentacle (Talk) 00:25, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) **I felt that going into Krayt's machinations might be a bit too distracting from Wyyrlok himself (in an article that already is basically made up of him standing and watching,) so I just gave the "official" line on that one. Do you feel it needs that clarification, and if so, how much?
 * 39) ***Fair enough. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:51, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * Indoctrinating Skywalker: That bold quote is butt ugly and a quick IRC poll suggests the boldness isn't needed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 00:25, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) **De-bolded. Thefourdotelipsis 01:44, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) ***The template had issues so I just put the whole thing back to normal. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:51, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) Toprawa:
 * 44) * I'd like to see a little more context for what this is: "Krayt had been implanted with Yorik-Kul by the Yuuzhan Vong themselves"
 * 45) **Do you mean more context on the seeds, or the process itself? Thefourdotelipsis 02:17, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ***I was referring to the Yorik-Kul, but if the process is relevant, that would be good also. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:46, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) ****OK, I've elaborated on that, let me know if it needs more.
 * 48) * Having never read Legacy, I'm not exactly sure about this, but saying so bluntly that he didn't care for his own life seems like an over generalization. Does anything really state this, or just that his concern for his own life was secondary in respect to Krayt's? "Wyyrlok did not care for his own life, and made his master's health his prime concern."
 * 49) **That's stated in the opening of Legacy 14. Thefourdotelipsis 22:39, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) * I'm curious why you have Legacy 0 in the sources section. I know other articles have listed this in the Appearances. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:35, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) **Despite the title, it is a reference source, not a story. It's nothing but pictures and descriptions. -- Ozzel 00:54, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Despite the title, it is a reference source, not a story. It's nothing but pictures and descriptions. -- Ozzel 00:54, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to strike objection (Inq only)
 * 1) Gonzalo has been asked to clarify, and has not done so. It's a silly, subjective objection that doesn't fall under any rules. If he wants better quotes, he should add them himself or be more specific in his objection. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:39, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Indeed. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 21:42, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I wouldn't have let this live this long.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:42, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:48, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) I really do hate these kinds of things and feel they should be avoided at all costs, but leaving an objection like that for a week is just annoying. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:54, 18 July 2008 (UTC)