Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * Inquisitorius FAN Triage
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
 * 4) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 5) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 6) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Lando Calrissian

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:35, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From the two directors that brought you Tales of the Jedi and Wraith Squadron! From the project behind Jaina Solo! From the minds behind Mara Jade Skywalker, an action-packed adventure filled with suspense, betrayal, romance, and, of course, inimitable charm. Now playing: The smoothest FAN ever to grace this page, Lando Calrissian!

(2 Inqs/9 Users/11 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) As co-nominator. Greyman ( Talk ) 20:45, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Objections will be fixed soon as sources are checked by several users, including myself.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:29, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles 23:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) This article is supported by Mecenarylord on 23:12, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * CC7567 [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] talk 00:30, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:34, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 00:11, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) — The Flash  Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me bay-bay!  01:59, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Whoa. Nice work. –Victor  Sienar.svg (talk page ) 03:36, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Awesome this will win for sure.Wesker432 09:33, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  16:37, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) He's too smooth!--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:42, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Thanks for the good read. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:57, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

I dare object to Lando
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis:
 * 2) * No info whatsoever from Lando Calrissian: Idiot's Array and Crisis on Cloud City. Not smooth. Thefourdotelipsis 03:04, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The latter has been addressed; I've asked Borsk about the former. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Former is also addressed now. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:12, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium:
 * 6) * Ditto Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin. - Lord Hydronium 03:10, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I've went ahead and added a sentence or two of some background information for this objection. I looked over my copy of the source again and couldn't see anything new beyond the sentences I just added. Is there something specific you're thinking of that I could work in? Greyman ( Talk ) 13:51, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *** There's some other bits on pages 50, 76, and 88. - Lord Hydronium 08:27, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Information added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The mentions of Ymile are rather confusingly arranged. There's a picture of her near where Lando wins the bet with Raynor, but no reference to her in the text, then much later in the article it mentions she helped Lando win. That second part should be noted and clarified at the time it actually occurs; also, she should be linked there, since she isn't at the moment. - Lord Hydronium 00:39, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Succession box should include Treece; Action Tidings and the Cloud City Databank entry both say he was the Administrator of Cloud City. - Lord Hydronium 00:41, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Fixed the Ymile bits and buffed Lady Luck overall. Also, adjusted succession box, reffed from the actual Marvel comics though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:15, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Information missing on how Lando got back Cloud City, from The New Essential Guide to Characters. Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds not in; amongst the things to add is a bit in there about how Lando raised Tibanna profits that's also in the NEC. - Lord Hydronium 07:29, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **The Tibanna profits bit is already in there, just referenced from another source. The Cloud City re-taking has been added. Still working on GATOW. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Two tidbits from GATORW added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:41, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ****Added it to the "Sources" list as well. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Oh, I see; I was searching for "percent". - Lord Hydronium 19:52, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * More NEGTC tidbits: Lando giving control of Cloud City to the Ugnaughts after Zorba cedes it. Lando refusing to go to Chewbacca's funeral out of guilt. From GG3: Lobot convinced Lando to help Leia and the group. - Lord Hydronium 07:45, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **All of the above fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *More missing sources: Rebellion Era Sourcebook, Roleplaying Game Revised Core Rulebook, Roleplaying Game: Saga Edition Core Rulebook , Dark Empire Sourcebook, The Truce at Bakura Sourcebook, Han Solo and the Corporate Sector Sourcebook (I just spotted a small mention, but there could be more) , Heir to the Empire Sourcebook, The Last Command Sourcebook, and Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition . For now. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ** Rebellion Era Sourcebook is listed now, but it needs information from it. There's some on Page 111, for a start. - Lord Hydronium 07:01, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***The info on that page was already in the article. Could you tell me what specifically you are referring to? And the rest of the sourcebooks have been checked and added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:18, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *I had a whole thing for here before, a giant list of every piece of information I could find from these sources that was missing. Then my text editor crashed, so here's a much more general list. The Cloud City section from the RESB has information on Lando's neutrality. The RCR talks about him getting his fortunes and smuggling arms to the Rebellion. DESB needs a ton of information from it. Read the whole thing. Lando's section, Wedge's section, an inset in the Coruscant section, and the Star Destroyer section have major information missing from the article—everything up to Lando crashing on Coruscant is missing. The sourcebooks for HTTE and Dark Force Rising have important information in their Lando sections, as well as the Nkllon section of the former and Lady Luck section of the latter. Dark Force Rising overall needs major expansion. It barely touches on their capture by Garm, the entire search for the fleet, and the battle for the Katana. The first paragraph if the SOTE section is extremely vague and needs expanding; nothing is said about how Rendar is guiding them or how he abandons them, or where the Imperial forces come from.

My recommendation would be to withdraw the nom for now. It's missing too much major information from too many major sources. Dark Empire Sourcebook alone is a huge chunk not included, and with all that's been found, I frankly don't trust that this article is near complete. My advice would be to remove it, to read or reread all the sources thoroughly, rework the article, and then renom it when it's in a more complete state. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC) <!--#* The Young Calrissian comic is listed in the Non-canon section of the appearances, but is in the main body without any special tags. It should be consistent one way or the other. If, as it looks like, the story is mentioned in the CSWE, then I suggest it gets moved out of the non-canon section of the appearances. I also suggest that the reference to YC have a note added along the lines of: "This story was canonized by inclusion in the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia." His ship from this story could also get a mention in the Ships section later on. --Eyrezer 11:00, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Major buffs to SOTE and DFR completed. Will go through the other TTT-related sourcebooks soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Major buffs to HTTE Sourcebook completed, minor buff to Rebellion Era Sourcebook. If you want more information from that source, I'll need a page number, because I just read through the entire thing and found a whopping one sentence of minor information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:11, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****RESB's good. - Lord Hydronium 23:20, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Buffed RCRGR, working on the DFR, TLC sourcebooks. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******TLC sourcebook buffed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * for The Truce at Bakura, but it contains unique information to add. - Lord Hydronium 23:28, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *In addition to the above, the following appearances and mentions are missing: Out of the Closet: The Assassin's Tale, Darksaber, Force Heretic I: Remnant, Therefore I Am: The Tale of IG-88, Payback: The Tale of Dengar, The Last One Standing: The Tale of Boba Fett, X-wing: Rogue Squadron, X-wing: Wedge's Gamble, X-wing: Wraith Squadron, Young Jedi Knights: Heirs of the Force, Young Jedi Knights: The Lost Ones, Young Jedi Knights: Lightsabers, Young Jedi Knights: Darkest Knight, Young Jedi Knights: Shards of Alderaan, Young Jedi Knights: Jedi Bounty, and Young Jedi Knights: The Emperor's Plague. - Lord Hydronium 01:17, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Chack and I have addressed these. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Force Heretic I has a bit about Lando from Jaina's childhood. Find text-searchable versions of these (ask on IRC if you need a source) and search through them for "Lando" or "Calrissian", please, because if the article's missing information from one, there's a chance it's missing from the others. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****No, no. You see, I did find that information when I went through and used text-searchable versions of these the first time. I just decided that particular tidbit was too anecdotal for inclusion in an encyclopedia article. However, if you're set on seeing "Calrissian also taught Jaina Solo to enjoy altha protein drinks during her childhood" in the article, I will add it, despite how trivial it seems. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:17, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *****By itself that tidbit might be too anecdotal, but I think the fact that Lando had more interaction with Jaina in her youth than just going on a mission with her is worth something. - Lord Hydronium 19:08, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ******After our discussion in IRC, I did a little more YJK research and added a paragraph about their interactions in general. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Almost forgot: None of the movie novelizations or radio dramas are included. - Lord Hydronium 01:19, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **This particular objection has been addressed, along with adding a number of other ESB and ROTJ-related appearances. I've checked both novelizations and will check with Tope to make sure there's no new info in the radio dramas. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:19, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Han will have these objections down! We've gotta give them more time! (In all seriousness, we are working on these). Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:40, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Sorry, haven't checked those yet, but another: Galaxywide NewsNets from Adventure Journal 14. "Calrissian Resurfaces as Baron Administrator". - Lord Hydronium 06:36, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Mined. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:45, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy, page 13, bottom left. - Lord Hydronium 05:02, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Tweaked. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *Galaxywide NewsNets in Adventure Journal 5 has another article with Lando info, "Smugglers' Roster: Random Rumors". - Lord Hydronium 01:46, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **Also fixed. Fascinating info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:35, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Gah, redlinks in source list, mine Databank and Wizards. Those first two totally slipped me mind.  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:19, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Red links busted. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:56, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *Databank has been mined and source list updated. Greyman ( Talk ) 15:32, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) Infobox not fully/correctly sourced.  Graestan ( Talk ) 04:24, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *I think I got the missing reference. If you desire other sourcing, please let me know. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:22, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) **Got it on the second try. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) I'd like to take Yrf's comment below and turn it into an actual objection; for instance, I know there are quotes to be had by or about Lando and/or what he was up to at the time for the LCA, TTT, and BFC. Ideally, since the sections are so long, each should probably have a quote.  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:48, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *All sections now have quotes except three tiny sections in the "Non-canon appearances" section in the BtS since quotes do not exist for those parts. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:32, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Hope you found at least one funny one from LCA. ;) Graestan ( Talk ) 23:12, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * File:Lando91.jpg, File:LanLukVil.jpg, File:Weaklando.jpg, File:Lando&Luke Marvel71.jpg and File:Lando&Han captive.jpg could all do with a re-scan. Other than that, excellent work, and about time! :) --Imperialles 13:08, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *All done. I was bored and Ataru mentioned it at the right time. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:16, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Image placement is irrelevant to the text in a number of locations. SinisterSamurai 07:32, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've moved a few things around. As it stands, there are two images that aren't directly pertinent to the sections they are in: the Caamas Document crisis section, and in the Kessel investment sections, where we used generic Lando images to fill gaps that would have left lots of text with no complimentary images. As it is, there's a good balance of images to compliment the text, but by removing those, the article's appearance would suffer accordingly. And there is article precedent for using generic images to fill "gaps". If there were more relevant images that could be substituted in, just point me in their direction and I'll gladly change it, but for now, it should stay as it is. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:03, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Looks good.
 * 5) Needs info from Star Wars: Power of the Jedi. Thefourdotelipsis 08:54, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:55, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Eyrezer:
 * 1) **It doesn't seem to be mentioned in CSWE, according to Chack. I've added in non-canon tags in the main body, will get to the ships section soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:50, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Correction. Our page seems to list the comic as canon, so I'll check and see if I can find where it was canonized. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:53, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****Purpilia added CSWE as a source on the Meek page, which is what I was going by. Probably not mentioned in Lando's article itself, though. --Eyrezer 09:24, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Yeah, I've fixed just about all the objection, need to add the ships section, though. ships section added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:28, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******Great. With the Meek story, doesn't the CSWE say it was reported by HNN sources? This should be added, in a way that reflects the potential ambiguity or unreliability of the account that seems to be suggested in the Encyclopedia entry. --Eyrezer 14:03, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *******That's exactly what CSWE reports. I've updated the article to reflect that. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:36, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Osuno Whett is reintroduced too abruptly in the ThonBaka section. It needs to be explained how/why he was there.
 * 8) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Did Bria change her mind? I thought it might have always been her plan to rip off the smugglers.
 * 10) **Rebel Dawn and our Tharen article are ambiguous at best. I've ambiguified it also in the Lando article correspondingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Shortly thereafter, Calrissian found himself on another treasure hunt sponsored by a trio of Hutts eagerly hunting the fabled Yavin Vassilika, a priceless, gemlike statuette, having been saved by Bib Fortuna after losing a game of sabacc." This makes it sound as though the Vassilika was saved by Fortuna.
 * 12) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Are you certain about the placement of the Ruins of Dantooine stuff? It would make so much more sense if it didn't interrupt his trip to Bespin...
 * 14) **Well, the Galaxy of Fear stuff happened in 7 months ABY, and Lando doesn't win Cloud City until after 2 ABY, according to AJ 14, which is set circa 2 ABY according to my sources. That's why the Ruins of Dantooine stuff is there&mdash;it's before he wins Cloud City and after the Galaxy of Fear stuff, as Ruins of Dantooine is set 1.5 ABY. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***A shame, but that seems right. --Eyrezer 23:48, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * An appropriate mention of Tocneppil and Dash somewhere in the early sections should be added, based on that quote at the start of "Revenge attempts." Also a mention of Moabab would be good.
 * 17) **I'm not a big fan of saying "Calrissian met X" ten paragraphs before they actually have significant encounters with him, but I recognize that that opinion is not universally held. I've mentioned Tocneppil, Dash, and Mungo Baobab farther up, in a general sort of way since the timeline is unknown. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Yeah, I can understand that. I mainly requested it because Tocneppil was not otherwise mentioned in the bio.
 * 19) * Can you explain why EV-9D9 was a suspect at that early point? Do we know that the Idiot's Array story is not after EV's attempt?
 * 20) **I have no explanation, so I've moved EV-9D9's story to before Idiot's Array. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Great. I hoped that might be possible, but I wasn't sure. --Eyrezer 22:51, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Furthermore, he stated that he intended to keep things running smoothly at Calrissian, using a modus operandi he described as the Lando System." Is this meant to be running smoothly at Bespin?
 * 23) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * The Fact Files sources list needs to be expanded, and the reference notes likewise made more specific. (per this CT).
 * 25) **Cav has promised me FF goodness, will update as soon as I have my hands on them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Fact Files are now in the source list, and the references have been updated accordingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * I suspect that "the death of scientist Lem on Cloud City" is the same as "when a noted scientist, Doctor Issan Len was murdered." These should be combined.
 * 28) **I was hoping someone would say that. It only appears as Lem in the Fact File, but I left in just because one could look at it through a hyperinclusionist point of view and say that they're different incidents. Removed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***I added a redirect.
 * 30) * The image of Boba Fett in the Precursor section is out of place. Is there no appropriate image from Crisis on Cloud City?
 * 31) **Working on it, but the images from Crisis are junk in quality. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Okay, I was able to get my hands on scans on every image from Crisis, and there's only one tolerable image of Calrissian, and it's a small, crudely-drawn black & white. If you want that, I can scan it in, but otherwise, there's only some general pictures of Cloud City and other characters. That being the case, I swapped out the Bob Fett one for another one from ESB that's a little less time-sensitive. However, if you want that one from Crisis or another, we can discuss, and I'm open to suggestions. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Yeah, I really don't like having the ESB image there, but I agree that the pics from inside Crisis are bad. However, I have an idea! What about a crop of the colour image of a firefight on the back of Crisis? As this must be depicting the events of the book, it seems a suitable image. --Eyrezer 12:28, 12 May 2009 (UTC) EDIT: Here it is here. A cleaner version would be nicer. What do you think? --Eyrezer 10:15, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Uploaded and added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Just as they rocketed off the station," in the Destruction fo the Tarkin section. Were they in space suits or another ship? Could you clarify?
 * 36) **Clarified, with thanks to QuiGonJinn for the info. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:07, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * A few of the WEG sources actually link to a disambig for first and second editions. Could you link to the actual ones, and add in the second editions, etc... unless we have policy otherwise.
 * 38) **I checked them, added in second editions for the two Galaxy Guides. I checked the others, but didn't see anything else at a first glance. Did you have other corrections in mind? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:02, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * I'm fairly certain Lando will be in a number of video game guidebooks. (On a quick look at the source list, I couldn't see any.) These likely include the guides from Demolition, Jedi Outcast, and others...
 * 40) **I've taken care of this one myself.
 * 41) ***I've also tweaked the article with some small tidbits of information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) ****Great. --Eyrezer 23:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Lando is in Star Wars: Rebellion (video game), and so also likely Rebellion: Prima's Official Strategy Guide. The game needs to be checked. --Eyrezer 08:27, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **I've talked to Borsk and gotten info from the game. I'll need to work on the guide-it's rather hard to get a hold of. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I've been reliably informed that this source contains no new info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:20, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The Return to Cloud City section: "Spotting a chance to divert Lobot's attention from himself to the Imperials..." I don't understand how this is meant to work. How will attacking the trooper's divert Lobot's attention? Secondly, there is only one short paragraph on Star Wars 83: Sweetheart Contract. This should be expanded to the level of detail of the other Marvel comics. --Eyrezer 11:10, 24 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * In the first paragraph of the Black Sun section, it would be good just to add a little half-line regarding Luke. The previous section ends with him left behind, and I know that he has some other adventures/complications. While they don't need to be described, it should mention that Luke has rejoined the Rebels or something.
 * 49) **Sure. Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Can you explain why Benedict Vidkun attacked them?
 * 51) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *I added this pic, but you may prefer this one instead. --Eyrezer 10:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * In the Star Wars Technical Journal (Volume One), page 17, it is mentioned that Lando added the quad lasers to the MF. I haven't read down to the ships section yet, but this should be added if not already. --Eyrezer 11:46, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) **Adjusted. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * Finding Argo and Vanis: context on who Mone is. How was Calrissian and co able to buy it from the Imps without them realizing they were rebels? Wasn't it because Lando disguised himself as Drebble?
 * 56) **Tweaked up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * In the same section, "There, Calrissian learned that Solo had been delivered to Jabba Desilijic Tiure while undercover on Arcan IV, posing as Drebble." It is not clear who was undercover. Also, the mention of Arcan IV in this sentence is probably unnecessary. You also need to mention how/why Lando already had The Minstrel in his possession.
 * 58) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * Which member of the gang tried to steal the statue? A number of the members have articles here, and so a link should be added to the appropriate one, or a redlink given.
 * 60) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * "They then helped Organa board the Falcon and returned to rendezvous with Alliance forces." A bit more info here, please. (Mission to Yinchorr section)
 * 62) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * You mention Calrissian is fluent in 18 languages. As far as possible, I think these should actually be specified in the Talents and abilities section. From earlier in the bio, we know that one is a Baragwinian trade dialect. Add this there too.
 * 64) **Did some looking around, found a number of specific languages. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * There needs to be a better conclusion to the Demolition paragraph: "But even that was not enough to impress Jabba and to be placed in the Hutt's palace as a guard". What happened in the competition? Did he win? Presumably we don't know exactly, but we must know something. A mention of other opponents could also be appropriate.
 * 66) **Tweaked, a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Remind me of this one next time we're both in IRC. I have a few questions.
 * 68) * "He was reluctant to abandon Leia to Jabba's mercy, but assured him she would be fine with a quick whisper." There is obviously a word missing here. I was going to add in a "she" but it seems from the next sentence that Leia didn't know it was Lando so it cannot have been her that was reassuring him... --Eyrezer 04:41, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) **This objection was a pain, but after re-checking the radio drama and the novel, there appears to be a bit of a canon conflict. I've adjusted the text and tossed in a ref explaining everything. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***Sorry to cause you pain :P The change is acceptable.
 * 71) * There needs to be context between para 1 and 2 of the "The Battle of Endor" section, mentioning both the presence of the Star Destroyers, and the functional Death Star laser. I actually feel this and the Hutt guardsman section could do with a polish in terms of language and cohesiveness.
 * 72) **Took a stab at polishing both. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *** Page 139 of The New Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology has a quote that might give you another sentence or two to add to the Battle of Endor section, re Lando's interaction with Nein Nunb. --Eyrezer 11:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) *** "The Alliance knew that this fight would determine the fate of the war, as they would be engaging the Empire in a battle they had to win." This needs to be rewritten to be clearer as to what you mean. --Eyrezer 02:27, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *** You also have "upon reversion from hyperspace in two consecutive paragraphs (#2 and #3). The bit about knowing the Emperor would be there, as wellas believing that the laser was inoperational should be before the jamming part, which should also probably be joined with the trap part that comes later. --Eyrezer 02:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ***** I'll check this when I get home, but the discovery of the operational Death Star preceeded Lando's suggestion to close with the SDs, right? --Eyrezer 05:11, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ******Yes, and I thought the article had said that. Nevertheless, I tweaked it a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) * In "Winning a Bet", Drebble is introduced with no context explaining why he had it in for Lando (or even linked). This should be explained to set up the Mission to the Hunter's World section later on. This also ties in to my objection above about the Finding Argo section... Likewise, this section is poorly connected back to the previous incident with Lemo and Sanda. It is as if both sections were written by different people unaware of what the other had written&mdash;which may actually have been the case. --Eyrezer 11:43, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) **I think I fixed it up, but did you want me to take a look at the Finding Argo section also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:54, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * The last paragraph of "Work for the Alliance" is unclear and needs to be rewritten. Ie, all the stuff about Solo's passengers having codes but why they couldn't give it to Solo, who said passengers were, etc. --Eyrezer 05:03, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) **Rewritten. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) * Lando gets a page in Handbook 3: Dark Empire. I haven't read up to that section, but I suggest it should be looked over. There is also a pic of him and Wedge that could be useful.
 * 84) **Fixed up, but I don't think we need the pic at the moment. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * While it is in the source list, Escape from Cloud City doesn't seem to be reffed. There is some info in there that would be good for the Bts. --Eyrezer 12:12, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * Second battle of Endor section: "Concerned by the fact that he no longer was part of the Alliance's decision making process, he now hoped to be employed as a piloting teacher." This needs some explanation.
 * 88) **Explained. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * I removed a pic from the Second Battle fo Endor section that was misplaced. A new pic that is more appropriate to the text needs to be added.
 * 90) **Added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * Nagai-Tof war has two sentences in a row beginning with However. Actually this section feels too rushed. It could be expanded to provide more context and so be easier to follow. --Eyrezer 03:00, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) **Did some more expansion, but Lando doesn't do a whole lot on Zeltros besides party and get captured, until MSW 107. Let me know if you want more. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) * This is for an earlier section - you have consecutive refs for the Galaxywide NewsNets in SWAJ5 in the same paragraph. Is there meant to a different ref in between these? If not, they should be merged. --Eyrezer 03:09, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) **Got confused because it was off of two different parts of the NewsNet. Refs merged. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) * The formation of Lando's Commandos occurs at two separate places. Can the Tales story be set before the NEC incident? Also can the Tales story be expanded? It would also be appropriate to mention how the Trioculus affair concluded and hence the dissolution of SPIN. --Eyrezer 10:53, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) **Checked, moved, expanded, mentioned. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * The Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds mission to Kashyyyk needs to be expanded. --Eyrezer 04:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) **Buffed it some, but it's a pretty open-ended mission, if you've played it. There's a little cutscene with Lando talking at the beginning, then during some point in the battle, he shows up in the MF with Rogue Squadron. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * Nomad City section: "He was wounded in the attack" - who was?
 * 100) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) * "The mole-miners, packed with boarding teams, had been ordered into a large number of New Republic ships" Ordered into? This is pretty unclear. I presume you are meaning they attacked the NR ships by drilling into them...
 * 102) **Yes. Clarified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) * "Calrissian refused to believe that Solo and Skywalker would go on their mission without him, though, and coaxed the news from Solo that he might be able to arrange a deal for metals from Nkllon on New Cov if he stayed with him. Calrissian then reluctantly decided to join Solo and Skywalker." Can you clarify this bit?
 * 104) **Sure. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) * "aided Skywalker by translating for him" Do we know what language? If so, it could be added to the P&T section. (I'm not suggesting the language needs to be addded to this section itself.
 * 106) **It's Rodian. I added that to his Talents section when you made your initial language objection about the Baragwinian trade dialect. Did you want it in P&T also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) ***No that's fine. I checked the refs, but I must have been looking for the wrong source.
 * 108) * "In the race to reach the lost Dreadnaught fleet" This paragraph begins with there being a race, but it has not yet been established that the Empire is aware of the Katana fleet. Can you modify this a bit so that it flows better? Also, here, the mention of Mara Jade should build on her earlier mention on Myrkr.
 * 109) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) * I added a pic of Nomad City to the start of this section. I think another image from the comic adaption would be good, too. Perhaps one of lando in action on Myrkr. --Eyrezer 04:45, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) **Xicer9 added one. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) * "During the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine in 10 ABY," a better introduction to this section, please. --Eyrezer 08:42, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) **Rephrased.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:57, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) ***I expanded it more to what I had in mind. --Eyrezer 03:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 115) * This is a nasty one. I see from below that originally the Shadows of the Empire part was in the middle of the Marvel. You moved it because there seemed to be no discernible reason for it to be there. Well, there just may be one... in regard to Marvel 67, a poster on tfn points out "Interestingly enough, it just occurs to me that Shadows of the Empire must have already taken place before any of these Marvel stories because I realize Luke has a lightsaber and he constructed it in the start of that story." If Luke does construct a LS in SOTE, this seems a fair point. Can you check either way? It could do with a Bts explaining the placement if it gets moved back. --Eyrezer 09:33, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) **Negative. That part referenced below is the Evolutions segment, not actual SOTE. The SOTE segment is where it is because of NEC, which places the events of SOTE right after the Battle of the City of Bone in Marvel 69. If anything, I'll need to move the Trouble on Stenos section to before SOTE, but I want to check a few more sources before I do so. NEC also places the events of SOTE before the events of "Finding Argo and Vanis." As unfortunate as that may be for your TFN poster, we're going to have to assume that, in the same line as the Tydirium nonsense, Luke had more than one "new" lightsaber. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:57, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 117) ***So according to NEC, its:
 * 118) ****Star Wars 69: Death in the City of Bone (The Business on Bazarre section)
 * 119) ****Shadows of the Empire (Encounter with Black Sun)
 * 120) ****Star Wars 71: Return to Stenos (Finding Argo and Vanis)
 * 121) ****Leaving it unclear only whether Star Wars 70: The Stenax Shuffle (Trouble on Stenos) goes before or after SOTE? --Eyrezer 05:46, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 122) *****Yep, that's pretty much it. Let me do some more research and get back to you. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:23, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) ******Star Wars 70, 71 take place before SOTE, according to NEGTC. It's Marvel 73 that's the Argo and Vanis bit, which I'm saying is where the Marvels pick up after SOTE. The presence of Dani makes it sort of interesting, but I guess she was hanging out while Lando and Co. did SOTE&mdash;canon explicitly gives the timeline for the Stenos and Argo and Vanis stuff, and SOTE is between them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:44, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 124) *******Ok. Seeing as it is a combination of using NEGTC and NEC that determines exactly where SOTE falls in the Marvel line, please add a footnote to this effect. --Eyrezer 05:38, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) ********Ref'd in several places explaining the arrangement. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 126) * Empire Reborn section: "However, Skywalker was unwilling to leave the planet." Can you add why this was?
 * 127) **Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 23:30, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 128) * "Calrissian then informed the New Republic leaders about a cargo of large X-1 Viper war droids" This paragraph could do with some expansion and context. Firstly, what is the connection between this scene and the end of DEI? It doesn't seem to be immediately after Mon Cal, so a sentence about the overall war would place it in context. Secondly, does Calrissian suggest infiltrating the Vipers? Explain why they want to attack Byss, etc.
 * 129) **Significantly fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:39, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) * The next paragraph also needs more context than "later". Perhaps explain a bit about what the Eclipse II was. Also what the Galaxy Gun was. At the moment this paragraph is far too bare bones.
 * 131) **I think I've corrected the issues here. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:39, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 132) * Significant improvements to this section. The last thing I think it needs as overall context is the fact that the Emperor was finally defeated on the surface of Onderon. Similar to Thrawn's death, while not immediately related to Lando, it is a significant event that would give closure to this section. --Eyrezer 10:49, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 133) **Touched up with a contextifying sentence. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 05:20, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 134) * Kessel investment: wasn't Lando bored, which is why he helped Luke's search? --Eyrezer 00:40, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 135) **I clarified it&mdash;he wasn't so much bored as he was out of work. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:53, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) * The first paragraph of "Kessel investment" feels repetitive, ie, the stuff about searching for FS. --Eyrezer 06:33, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 137) **I've trimmed it up some, let me know if you want more culling. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:58, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) * "Finding the Millennium Falcon in Doole's private fleet, the two ersatz "businessmen" confronted Doole, who fired at them and ran off the ship. In response, the Jedi and gambler took the ship and fled, though Calrissian was forced to leave the Lady Luck on Kessel." When I read this, I had no sense of where the second part of the first sentence occurs. Can you reword it to clarify?
 * 139) * I actually rewrote part of this section, re Han Solo's escape. You should probably check it to see if you prefer my way.
 * 140) * Durron is later introduced as a Dark Jedi with no context. Please add some.
 * 141) * I also think there must be a better pic for this section other than the second black-and-white one of Lando. Are there any of the various battles that occurred in this section? --Eyrezer 04:33, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 142) **All of the previous four are tweaked up, but I haven't found any pictures of battles where Lando was actually at on the wiki. Put in one of the blob races instead. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:27, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 143) * Next section: Run-in with the Imperial Remnant. Firstly, do we know why Lando still has an interest in Cloud City at this point?
 * 144) **Sort of. The NRI reports are vague, but I've tried to make the connection clearer. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 145) * Can you explain how they found out where Leia was?
 * 146) **Done, and given all of Planet of Twilight a bit of a buff as well. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 147) ***Much better, but Chewie appears out of nowhere at the moment. --Eyrezer 23:58, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) ****Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:04, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 149) * It also seems to be missing a mention of Lando convincing Nien Nunb to return to Vandelheim for the 10 year anniversary. This info can be found both here and here. Somewhat interestingly, this seems to be the only event we know Lando was involved in during 14 ABY. --Eyrezer 04:59, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) **Info added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)-->
 * 151) * It currently lacks info from Agents of Deception. The story outline can be found here and while suitably vague, should be added in. There are some clues to placement too. --Eyrezer 06:34, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 152) **Interesting. I'll add this, but I'm having some trouble on the dating. Obviously, it's during the GCW, but while it describes Calrissian as the newly appointed Baron Administrator and it's pre-4 ABY due to Jabba's existence, I'm having a hard time reconciling the fact that he wasn't a Rebel. Am I correct in thinking this should go after "Revenge attempts"? Just seems weird. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 153) ***It is a bit of a mess, and I'd be tempted to throw some tags around it, too. I don't see anything that requires Jabba to be in it though. That could be any other Hutt. I've asked Mauser for a clarification if there is anything else related to a plot in the game. At the moment, at the end of Revenge attempts seems about the right place to me too. By the way, have we ever heard about Lando's original fallout with Nandreeson? As a positive addition to continuity, this could be it - although of course not canonised as such here. --Eyrezer 01:33, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 154) ****It's mentioned in TNR and NEC, but not specifically shown IU. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:04, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 155) *****Okay, did some digging. This can't be the original fallout with Nandreeson, since that was before Calrissian became the Baron Administrator. Hopefully, Calrissian won't end up on Smuggler's Run during this little adventure, or else canon will be broken by Galaxies yet again. I added it into the middle of the Life as Baron Administrator section rather than Revenge attempts&mdash;it seemed to fit better there. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:46, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 156) ******Great. There is apparently more information available on this in the game itself. is currently trying to unlock this at the moment, so I will leave this objection live at the moment. --Eyrezer 05:11, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 157) *******OK, I didn't have much time in the last few days, but I finally managed to beat all scenarios in both campaigns. It's a nice story with familiar characters like BoShek and Blackhole. But unfortunately, it breaks canon in at least two instances. Lando indeed returns to Smuggler's Run to retrieve the ryll shipment. And what's almost worse is that he works and fights alongside Han and Chewie. And this happens shortly after he became administrator of Cloud City. I haven't read all that's written about Han's and Lando's relationship, but I just can't imagine that they would work together between the events of Underworld: The Yavin Vassilika and EP5. And Lando seems to have close ties to the Alliance, as he sends Wedge to help the player character. Maybe Lando worked with the Alliance to return the ryll shipment because he had sold the ryll to the Alliance and wanted to get his payment? But that's just speculation, of course. I took screenshots and uploaded all the texts and important cards here (there are sub-albums for the indiviual campaigns and scenarios, linked on the left side of the page) The two campaigns (light and dark side) are intertwined. IMO the final Dark side scenario takes place after the last Light side scenario - so the light side player beats Blackhole, then Lando, Han and Chewie arrive at Skip 52 to retrieve the ryll and then the dark side player character shows up and defeats them in a firefight. --Craven 18:23, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 158) ********Thanks for the information! I've tried to write it all out on my scratchpad, but there are some serious problems. For one, as you've said, the canonicity of this thing should be 0. The other is that I can't tell if the dark side campaign is non-canon or not. I tried to write it in such a way that both could work, but I dunno. Some official confirmation (Leland maybe?) would be good on this. I'm hoping this is non-canon, though. Ew. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:49, September 14, 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) *At some point you should go through and ensure you have consistency on whether the article uses "s's" or just " s' ".
 * 2) **Any particular words that are inconsistent? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:04, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***I just noticed that sometimes the plurals have the extra s and sometimes they do not. While it's possible it's done intensionally, I think our general policy is to have it consistent, one way or the other throughout the article. --Eyrezer 21:07, 31 August 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *I realize I promised you the ESB RD script notes, but until that time, here's the objection for their missing info.
 * 3) *Also, you're missing info from the ROTJ radio drama/script.
 * 4) **Can you be a little more specific about which parts? I gave it a listen when Hydro made his initial ESB objection, and while I don't have the script, I did add info from the radio drama. Was there something in particular you were looking for? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:32, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Sure. I'm in the process of listening to it now for my article purposes, so I might add to this, but two things that strike me as pertinent are the scene in which he first approaches Leia in Jabba's palace to reveal himself, meaning that not everyone in the Save Han group knew how he had gotten in and where he was; and secondly the scene in which they first leave Tatooine, they're forced escape past an Imperial blockade. Lando just sits in the Falcon ' s cockpit and doesn't do anything but talk, but a mention would be appropriate, I feel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:35, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***While en route to the Rebel fleet from Tatooine, Lando and the group help sooth Threepio's hurt feelings about not being privy to the specifics of the rescue Han plan. They talk about Corellian Overdrive, and Lando goes on to fix Threepio's damaged photoreceptor. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***There's actually a lot more to that scene. Han and Lando talk about how the Falcon was in Lando's possession during Han's carbonite days, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ****ROTJ radio drama has been located, listened to, and the article updated appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Including "TCG: Return of the Jedi" and "The Empire Strikes Back (TCG)" in the Source list just isn't good enough, I'm afraid. Moreover, I see only a single CCG card in that entire Source list, which tells me you haven't really scoured these cards for new information. You'd be surprised to find some new tidbits here and there. I realize there are probably dozens upon dozens of cards with Lando info on them, but if you're going to include one, you need to include them all. Yes, I know it sucks, and it's hard work, but this is an FA. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:20, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **"if you're going to include one, you need to include them all." Does this mean I just get away with removing that one? :-P ^_^ (lol, jk). No, in all seriousness, you're absolutely right. I've done all the CCG cards, and I'll let you know when I get the radio stuff and TCG ones added in. I'm going to be kind of busy until the end of the week due to RL though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:40, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***5 and a half dozen TCG and CCG cards added to source list? Is that better? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:01, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) QuiGon:
 * 13) * No info from The Gambler's Quest.
 * 14) **I've added a short paragraph myself based on what was written in the plot summary for this comic. I think it's sufficient. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 15:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Some things are missing in the appearances list. Mighty Chronicles adaptations, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Mobile, Super Star Wars series, etc. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...Quigonheadshot.jpg 17:54, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Took care of it myself per Ataru's request. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 16:43, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * More missing info from N.R.I. Reports. Small tidbits about Lando requesting aid from the Senate. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 19:30, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Are you sure that the "Black Sun coup" section should go between the Marvel stories? It would make much more sense to place it after the Nagai-Tof war. All Marvel stories are linked to each other pretty tight and there is no gap in the plot for SotE: Evolution to take place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 20:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **After some research, I've seen no reason to leave the layout as is, and the Black Sun coup is now placed after the Marvel sections. Seems to make more sense that way. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "The Mindharp of Sharu" section. Context on Jabba.
 * 22) * Also, context needed on Darth Vader and Luke upon first mentions in the "Trap at Cloud City"" section.
 * 23) * Explain what was so important in Luke that Vader set a trap for him.
 * 24) * Same section."Especially after the disappearance of C-3PO" Provide some context on what really happened to him. Then mention somewhere in this section that 3PO was recovered, because as it is now, it left me under the impression that the droid was still missing when Lando and the others left Bespin.
 * 25) * Same section again. "in pursuit of the Millennium Falcon and its Rebel crew". Mention that it was Han who has joined the Rebels, because it can be interpreted as if some unknown Rebels have acquired the ship.
 * 26) * Mention that Lando flirted with Leia and/or add it to the relationships.
 * 27) **All of QuiGon's objections up through this have been fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * The "Skywalker's affliction" section. Context on Domina Tagge.
 * 29) * Same section. "which Darth Vader had falsely accused Luke of being responsible for". Rephrase. Yes, Vader did falsely accuse Luke the first time, but then Skywalker killed Tagge for real in issue 37, even if he did it by accident.
 * 30) * "Finding Argo and Vanis" section. Last sentence: "but were apparently unable to find anything." Unsourced.
 * 31) * Same section. Context on the second Death Star.
 * 32) * Linking problems. Jabba is linked in both "The Mindharp of Sharu" and "Mission to Blimph 3" sections, while the second Death Star is not linked at all upon the first mention in "Finding Argo and Vanis", but is instead linked in "The Battle of Endor"; and the link is that of the Death Star in general instead of Death Star II. Check other links.
 * 33) * "Near-death experience on Godo". Context on Bey.
 * 34) * Mention that Lumiya changed sides and allied herself with Tofs. And that she was shot on Saijo.
 * 35) **All of these should be fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Stay tuned. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 21:01, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * "Nomad City". Context on Ecclessis Figg, ysalamiri. Also, why Thrawn needed the ysalamiri?
 * 38) * "Karrde hid the two former generals" Next sentence:"As such, the two former generals". Repetitive, rephrase.
 * 39) * "Karrde knew that was where Skywalker, who had escaped from his custody, and his pursuer, a woman named Mara Jade, would flee to, and that the Empire would find them and realize that Karrde had not turned over Skywalker to them." Maybe it's just me, but this sentence seems weird.
 * 40) **I've finally understood what this sentence says and I think I had some difficulty with it because of the missing "that". I've added it myself.
 * 41) * "After trekking through kilometers of forest, fending off predators, the party received when some Noghri commandos". Received what?
 * 42) **Everything from "Nomad City" down to here has been fixed. Although, Figg was already contextified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ***I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any context. You didn't say who Figg was. I've added it myself, just to show you what I wanted in the first place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:45, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) ****I figured that saying that Figg was the one who first built Cloud City was sufficient context, but I have no problems with your change. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * "Palpatine reborn": "Unbeknownst to Calrissian, Skywalker had fallen to the dark side of the Force, and was in fact commanding the Imperial fleet". Mention that prior to that, he gave the codes to Artoo.
 * 46) * Same section. Mention that Skywalker was redeemed after all.
 * 47) **I think Chack fixed these a couple days ago when he reworked that section. :-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:37, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "Run-in with the Imperial Remnant" Context on Reelo Baruk.
 * 49) * After the events of Jedi Outcast that happened in 12 ABY you mention the events of Planet of Twilight as happening the same year, yet the latter is placed here on Wook in 13 ABY. I don't know if it is really a mistake, because I haven't read the book.
 * 50) * "Tag and Bink". Context on Tag.
 * 51) **Last three fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:52, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *I guess that's all. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:57, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * One more thing. Is there nothing to add from Ord Vaxal: Prison Planet of the Empire? QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 14:19, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) **According to Jaymach via IRC, he's only pictured in it. I've tagged the source appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) From Ataru
 * 56) **I'm aware that there are redlink problems and image arrangements. I will fix those once Eyre's and Hydro's objections regarding content are satisfied. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:47, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) Jinzler
 * 58) * The Star Wars Annual 2009 reveals that Lando made a few message recordings that were stored in R2-D2. He made one aboard the Falcon, telling the events of ESB up to his departure from Bespin. He recorded another two messages while on Endor, about the battle there --Jinzler 12:39, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **All fixed, thanks for the info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:31, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) You need way more context for the events surrounding the Second Galactic Civil War.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:15, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) *I've added more context to it. Let me know if that's good enough, or if you want more. Since Calrissian was only peripherally involved for the most part, I didn't want to go too deep into it. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) **No, that's exactly the kind of context I was looking for. I'm striking the objection, although I will sucggest a rewording of "Calrissian remained with his expecting wife through the remainder of the war, which resulted in the death of Jacen Solo at the hands of the Jedi Order." just because it sounds a little like Lando being with his wife resulted in Jacen's death. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:49, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) I don't know the specific plot details of it, but Lando features in the story mode of Agents of Deception, which says something in it's article about him leading a team of Rebels to find a missing shipment of ryll --Jinzler 12:24, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) *Addressed per Eyre's objection above. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:46, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not a formal objection, but there's space for a lot more quotes in the article. Yrfeloran 04:13, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Who portrayed Lando in Dark Forces: Soldier for the Empire audio drama? Mauser 13:48, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm voting for it!!!!!!!!
 * Will give a full Outcast update as soon as I can. I'll busy through the weekend and Monday, though, but next week, I hope to get that and some more of the sourcebooks done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:06, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I apologize for the confusion, but when I voted months ago it wasn't because I had read it; it was just because I wanted to see it featured. If I do review it, I'll vote, but not for now.  CC7567  (talk) 18:16, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:05, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope it passes, nomed for FA per suggestion.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Yup, it's good enough for me.--Kreivi Wolter 08:22, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  LordDeathRay  (My Sith Holocron)  01:25, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Bout time this thing got moving, methinks
 * 2) * Please clarify in the intro what you mean by "known Republic space." It's not very clear.
 * 3) **I think it's good, try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Please check your linking throughout the intro. It seems that there's underlinking as far as events. Also, it appears that Malak's own flagship requires an article stub; please link and create one.
 * 5) **Malak's flagship is complete, I'll check for more links as the review goes on&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Watch underlinking throughout the article article. A lot of articles weren't linked. Furthermore, throughout the body, please check underlinking both in general and specifically for events.
 * 7) **Same as above.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Since there's an ongoing objection for this below, I'll strike these.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please try to reword the third paragraph in "Recruiting for the Revanchists." There's a lack of flow with "His reaction was this," "he did that," and it's rather play-by-play.
 * 10) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Please try to shorten it a bit more. Also, the verb tense in "Alek reminded Carrick that the threat of the Sith was over decades ago" isn't working.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:55, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Please shorten the fourth paragraph or rewrite it so that it's more related to Malak.
 * 14) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:37, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Still remains. Please shorten it more unless you believe that every single detail currently there is absolutely necessary to the reader's understanding of Malak.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ****I think I shortened it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "When Demagol came to take her, he volunteered himself to be studied in her place and insisted that he had some abilities that Demagol had yet to discover." I'm not sure who the indirect pronouns are referring to. This is also something to check for when you go through the article.
 * 18) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Please cut down on your dash usage. There are many places where commas would suffice.
 * 20) **OK, have to admit, I am a little emdash happy. Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I'm striking this for now, but I will be checking it in following reviews.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * I would recommend spacing images better; particularly, the two in the short "Against the Jedi Covenant" don't balance with the previous, lengthy section that contains only one.
 * 23) **Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "When Adasca asked Alek if he should entrust the exogorths to the Jedi, Alek stated that it was not a bad idea, which shocked Jarael. He then told Jarael that the Revanchists saw heartache and chaos in the years to come, stating that as the reason why Revan sent him to the meeting." I have no idea who you refer to when you're saying "he" and "him".
 * 25) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "He then deactivated the weapon, allowing the discussion to continue, and also expressed disbelief that Mandalore would offer Adasca a powerful position in the Mandalorian war effort in exchange for the device controlling the exogorths, as well as Admiral Karath for offering Republic territory for the device." Same as above. Also, the "as well as" does not make sense.
 * 27) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * "Alek was shocked that Draay would deny them passage just to get to Carrick, but the arrival of the Moomo Williwaw, the starship of the Ithorian bounty hunters Dob and Del Moomo, intervened." The "intervened" does not make sense, especially since it's used as a verb in relation to "arrival".
 * 29) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***"Arrival...crashed into the Legacy": this still does not make sense; "arrival" is not a subject that can crash or even move, for that matter.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ****Ok, try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Overall, please check for awkward wording and choppiness throughout the article.
 * 33) **Will do.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *I'll continue the review starting with "Masks" later.  CC7567  (talk) 01:33, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Going back and scrutinizing before continuing
 * 36) *Please check for underlinking throughout the article, specifically for events. I'm trying to stress its importance by reiterating this objection because it appears to be a major chunk missing from the article, and this article isn't going to pass in its current state. Was the defeat of the Jedi Covenant linked to a specific event? Did Malak's defeat of Revan occur during a specific event as well? I'm quite sure that "Malak and Revan fought each other" and "Darth Bandon, whom Revan and his companions had previously killed" should be linked as well, and all of that's only in the intro. This is a serious lack of information, so please go through the article again and check for this.
 * 37) **I will. I linked Vindication to the Covenant's defeat, the duel between Revan and Malak on board Leviathan is already linked in the previous sentence, under "intercepted". There is no article for the duel between Revan and Bandon.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***If the duel between Revan and Bandon does not have an article, it should. From what I can see, there isn't a reason not to create the article unless you can enlighten me with one.  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****I don't know if I could, since it hasn't been canonically established where Revan fought Bandon, and pics really can't be included, since I can't hide Revan's appearance.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:52, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) *****Pictures aren't required to make an article. You can simply create a stub for it; as long as it's linked and has an article (not necessarily a complete one), then it should be fine.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ******OK, then, before I create the article, I want to ask about something. Does Wookieepedia presume that Revan searched for the Star Maps in this order: Tatooine-Kashyyyk-Manaan-Korriban? Because if so, then I can list that Nord was defeated on Tatooine, Bandon was defeated on Manaan, and I could essentially name said duel between Bandon and Revan "Duel on Hrakert Station". Plus, I could add the dialogue options which has Bandon explaining to Revan how he got down to the station, in Bandon's article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *******Article created.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:47, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ********I'm going to wait on this one until this is resolved.  CC7567  (talk) 02:30, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Is there a particular reason why throughout the article, "Alek" is being used instead of "Squinquargesimus"? I'm not familiar with KotOR that much, but please state your reasoning as to why his last name isn't being used for formality.
 * 45) **One of the Agricorps told me in the GA process for this article that I could use Alek, I actually was going to bring this up. If you feel it's needed, I'll change it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Right now, I'm not asking you to change it, but I'm asking why it's this way&mdash;as in, I'm asking for the reasoning behind this besides the fact that an AC told you that it was okay. Last names are used for formality, and I cannot see why this should be an exception.  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ***Changed all references to "Squinquargesimus".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) ****I'd still like to know why it was "Alek" in the first place, if there was a reason.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *****I think it was because, Alek was his real name, Squinquargesimus was just an add-on, Alek mentions this in issue 31.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) ******Ugh. Since I don't know enough information, I'm going to trust your judgment to make a decision on this; if Alek is his real name, then technically that should be used throughout the article, but it depends on the circumstances of ""Squinquargesimus". It would be good if you could explain yourself a little better and clarify this before making a decision.  CC7567  (talk) 08:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * "the two twisted the allegiance of the Revanchists and Republic forces": I can't tell if you mean "Revanchist and Republic forces" or "the Revanchists and the Republic forces", but please reword for clarity.
 * 52) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * "Convinced that his former Master had died, Malak usurped his mantle": so suddenly Revan is Malak's former Master when just one sentence ago, he was his Master? The third paragraph of the intro as well has the same problem. Also, I can't tell who you're referring to when you say "his mantle".
 * 54) **Try it now.-Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * "It would not be long until the new Dark Lord of the Sith was proven wrong about his former Master's death." It's grammatically correct, but it's slightly awkward phrasing with the "proven wrong". Perhaps "proven wrong about his beliefs on his former Master's death"?
 * 56) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * "and an amnesiac Revan, whose identity as the Dark Lord": the Dark Lord, or a Dark Lord? I'm not entirely familiar about how Revan and Malak ruled, so I'm leaving you to check if this is correct.
 * 58) **It's correct, Revan was the only Dark Lord of the Sith in the Sith Empire, 'til Malak betrayed him, that is.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * "After Malak revealed to his former Master that he was indeed the former Dark Lord": it sounds like Malak revealed that he himself was the "former Dark Lord" to Revan. Please reword for clarity.
 * 60) **Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ***Still remains. I'm asking you to reword the "he" in "After Malak revealed to Revan that he was indeed the former Dark Lord".  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:56, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * "People from Quelii did not have surnames, only names of their home villages; after he escaped Quelli when the Mandalorians devastated the world, the name of his home village was used as his surname on the immigration records." I would suggest rewording this because it appears to be just a simple side fact, and right now the chronology is rather murky and undefined in relation to his life at the village.
 * 64) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * "Alek's desire to learn more": I can't tell if you mean "learn more than Revan" or "learn more than what he already knew", as in "furthering his own knowledge". Please reword for clarity.
 * 66) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * "the Jedi Council urged patience and strictly forbade action, feeling that the true threat had not yet emerged": urged patience for who? Strictly forbade action from what? What was this threat that was not the "true threat"? All of this is unspecific, so please clarify. If the source didn't directly state it, try to word around it so that there aren't empty spaces in the sentence like this.
 * 68) **Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *I'm just going to go ahead here and post all the events that sound like they deserve to be linked so that you don't miss anything. From these, please link what you can and clarify what cannot be linked and why.
 * 70) **"by participating in a scouting mission along the Outer Rim, just prior to the Mandalorian invasion of the Republic"
 * 71) ***I'll see if I can get some info, don't think there's enough, though.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) **I would particularly check the second paragraph of "Recruiting for the Revanchists" and see if there's anything that has enough info to deserve an event article.
 * 73) ** "Alek was captured in an ambush before the fourth battle of Suurja by the Mandalorians": unless it took place during the fourth battle, the ambush requires its own article if there's enough info.
 * 74) ***I don't think there's enough info for this. It appeared in a panel in issue 6, and was mentioned in issue 9.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ****There would have to be much less info for this not to deserve an article. Please explain your reasoning.  CC7567  (talk) 03:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) *****Article created: Ambush on Suurja.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ** "fought Cassus Fett at Jaga's Cluster, and defeated much of the Mandalorian army at Althir": I have the NEC right here in front of me and cannot see why these do not have articles.  CC7567  (talk) 19:20, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ***I'll create them as soon as I can.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:38, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ****Nevermind, the articles already exist, linked the articles already. They are Battle of Jaga's Cluster and Second Battle of Althir, respectively.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:45, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) ** "Despite Nord's galaxy-wide reputation, he did not survive his next encounter with Revan." Please clarify if there's enough info.  CC7567  (talk) 19:20, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) ***There is enough info, I've actually got the article ready to upload, just waiting for the results here, then I'll create it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:38, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) ****Please note that I'm still waiting for final clarification from you on any of these that are unstricken.  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) * "the Jedi were supposed to defend against the Sith": defend what? Please check this.
 * 84) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * "Alek laughed and said that the Mandalorians could have their boots at the Masters' throats, but to get them to notice the Mandalorians, they would have to paint their heads and babble about the dark side." Could you shorten this? It doesn't seem to be anything more than a side joke that doesn't serve a very big purpose.
 * 86) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * "Sometime before Alek and the Revanchists came to Taris": please check your tense throughout this entire paragraph. The paragraph's placement in the article (and its tense as well) suggests that it took place after Alek conferred with Carrick, but its content suggests otherwise, and I have no idea which one is correct. Please clarify.
 * 88) **I think I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * "Demagol wanted to waste no time in testing Jarael due to her unusual Arkanian features": this is rather awkward wording, especially with the use of "wanted" in the sentence, which suggests that there was someone that had authority over Demagol and prevented him from testing Jarael. Please reword it.
 * 90) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * "it was revealed that the Demagol that had emerged was actually Carrick": "the Demagol" in particular is unclear. Please reword this, perhaps to "it was revealed that Carrick was posing as Demagol" or something.
 * 92) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) * "Due to Demagol's mad experiments, doctors informed Alek that his hair would not grow back completely." With Demagol in the sentence, the "his hair" can refer to either him or Alek. Please clarify.
 * 94) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) *I'll have to continue this with "Adasca's plot and return to Taris". I know that I said I was going to continue with "Masks", but I was admittedly skimming in the previous review. I'll pick up the review again soon.  CC7567  (talk) 21:10, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) * Until I start "Masks": "Carrick, who had left Taris with a Jedi Knight and the Shadow Celeste Morne": "a Jedi Knight"? Who? Please clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 03:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:38, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * "They met with the two Jedi Knights and their fellow Revanchists, and told them abandon their efforts and disperse permanently, feeling that the Mandalorians were not a threat, and that nothing warranted the Jedi's aid." It's initially unclear who "they" refers to; I would feel better if you clarified it. Also, this sentence is a slight run-on and rather choppy.
 * 99) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) * "a Mandalorian mask under his feet": under whose feet? If you mean Malak's, I would recommend saying that "he realized that he was standing on a mask" or "noticed a mask that was under his feet".
 * 101) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) * "Revan decided to take up her cause and donned her mask, vowing not to remove it until there was justice, until the Mandalorians were defeated once and for all": what exactly was her cause? Also, the last part of the sentence is choppy, and unless you're trying to go for an extremely "dramatic effect", please reword one of the uses of "until".
 * 103) **Taken care of, for the most part. I don't see anything wrong with trying to be a little dramatic. But if it's an issue, I'll try rewording the "untils".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) ***This is an encyclopedic article, not a fantasy storybook. Please reword it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:30, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:08, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) * "A few months after the events of Vindication, Zayne Carrick, now a free man, was participating in the Tandem Open&mdash;a swoop-dueling event organized on Jervo's World, a large network of swoop-dueling arenas, above the world of Pantolomin." Unless you're going to use this as "Carrick was&hellip;when" or a similar phrase, you're using the wrong tense here. Please fix this, as I'm not sure what you mean.
 * 107) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 108) * If you can shorten the first paragraph of "Confrontation with Rohlan Dyre" slightly, it would ease the flow; it's slightly rambing right now.
 * 109) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) * There's a lot of play-by-play in the second paragraph of the same section. Please vary all the "Malak said this," "Malak said that."
 * 111) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) * "They pulled Malak off Dyre, which calmed him down." Calmed who down?
 * 113) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) * To a certain point, there's also some p-b-p and choppiness in the last paragraph of "Confrontation". Please do some rephrasing.
 * 115) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) ***I can only see that you've removed one phrase and changed the pronouns around; that's not rephrasing in the truest sense. Please do something more if you can.  CC7567  (talk) 02:30, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 117) ****Please note that this still hasn't been addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) *****Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:44, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 119) *As a note: if image captions are not complete sentences, then they theoretically should not have periods, which is why I've removed the ones you've replaced. Also, please do not use the term "unidentified" in an OOU article. I'll continue with "The final battles" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 08:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 120) **OK.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) * Please reword "going on the attack"; it's colloquial and rather unspecific.  CC7567  (talk) 02:30, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 122) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:08, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) * "Malak and Revan changed much from the idealistic men that had first broken away from the Jedi Council": I know that you explain this in the following sentences, but you don't relate this sentence to the others. Please reword and rephrase it so that it flows better.
 * 124) **How about now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:44, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) * "The battle resulted in catastrophic losses on both sides. In the end, many Jedi were twisted to the dark side, and the once proud Mandalorian clans were crippled, just as Revan had intended." Please find some other way of stating the battle's results and consequences rather than the extremely blatant "The battle resulted in".
 * 126) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:10, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) * "After the final battle of Malachor V": is this supposed to be the "final battle of the war" or the "final battle of Malachor V"? You don't mention any other battles on Malachor V, and therefore this doesn't make sense.
 * 128) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 129) * "After the final battle of Malachor V, Revan constructed HK-47, an assassin droid." This has no immediate relevancy to the article, and unless it does, please find some other way of mentioning it in relation to Malak. You don't have to state every single thing when it happens unless it's entirely relevant to Malak.
 * 130) **I think it is relevant, since Malak did want her killed, according to HK in The Sith Lords.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 131) * "Avoiding detection by the Jedi": I thought at this point, Revan and Malak were Jedi? Please reword for clarity.
 * 132) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 133) * "Malak warned Revan of the consequences": what consequences?
 * 134) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 135) ***I still can't tell why you're avoiding this. Was one of the consequences death? A severed connection to the Force? Or was this simply not clarified by any source?  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) ****How about now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 04:38, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 137) *****"feeling that if they examined the Star Map, the Jedi would banish both he and Revan''": please clarify what "Jedi" you're referring to, since Revan and Malak still appear to be Jedi.  CC7567  (talk) 20:07, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) ******OK, put in "Jedi Order". Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 00:23, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 139) * "Malak followed his Master in his wake": this comes out of nowhere with no clarification or explanation as to how it happened.
 * 140) **I'll take care fo this one soon, CC.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 00:23, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 141) ***Reworded.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:22, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 142) * "Though the order in which they did so is unknown": if this is an IU article, this is a huge no-no. Do not state what is unknown unless it's to something in-universe, not to the reader. Please find a way to word around this.
 * 143) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 144) * "Malak and Revan had both visited Korriban at least once when they were known as Jedi": this "known to" phrase is unspecific since it's not defined who it was "known to". Basically, the entire last paragraph of "In search of the Star Forge" is talking from an OOU perspective. Please find a way to reword it.
 * 145) **Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 146) * "and of the disruptor field that had caused their ship to crash": whose ship?
 * 147) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) * "After having gained their trust, the Elders gave Revan and Malak access to the temple." It would be Revan and Malak that had to "gain [the Elders'] trust", not the other way around. Please reword this.
 * 149) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) * Please clarify what you mean by "known space".
 * 151) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 152) * "During Malak's time as Revan's apprentice, he asked HK-47 what he thought of him. The droid informed Malak of his "meatbag status," and Revan found the term amusing, programming HK-47 to call all organics such." I cannot see why this is in Malak's article aside from simple humor, which does not constitute its inclusion. Unless you have a better reason for this and can clarify how it's directly related to Malak, please remove it.
 * 153) **Removed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 154) * "At some in 3,958 BBY": please check this.
 * 155) **It's correct.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 156) * Please clarify when Malak (and Revan, possibly as well) takes the title of "Darth". The change should be clear and should not have to be clarified.
 * 157) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 158) * "Darth Malak assumed command of the Sith Empire": what Sith Empire? Please link it. Also, you should have mentioned that Revan and Malak built an Empire earlier in the article. I can't see why it's mentioned this late when Revan and Malak have already declared war on the Republic and Jedi.
 * 159) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 160) * "After Revan was retrained in the Jedi ways, the Enclave ordered them to search for the Star Forge." I can't tell if this is where Revan's Jedi training is supposed to be, but the subject/plural agreement here isn't working.
 * 161) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 162) * "Despite Nord's galaxy-wide reputation" as what?
 * 163) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 164) * "Despite Nord's galaxy-wide reputation, he did not survive his next encounter with Revan." So he encountered Revan twice? The first isn't specified.
 * 165) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 166) * "Sometime before Revan and his crew found the fourth Star Map, Malak and his Sith forces attacked Dantooine." Please move this so that the article has better and proper chronology.
 * 167) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:02, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 168) *Overall, please check the rest of the article for clarity; the article should be clear enough to the point that I shouldn't have to ask you to clarify anything. I'll continue with "Revelation on the Leviathan" later.  CC7567  (talk) 19:20, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 169) **Please note that there are still a few objections currently remaining. I'll pick up the review soon, but after I go through the article completely, I'm going to be running through this again with you to flesh out all the other discrepancies that I might have missed. My recommendation is still the same&mdash;that you check the rest of the article for clarity before I review it.  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 170) Recurring clone attack
 * 171) *Again, I'm going to reiterate that there are still objections remaining above. I'm not sure if you just haven't had the time or if you haven't noticed them, but please try to fix them soon.
 * 172) **No, I haven't had that much time on my hands. My laptop's been KO'd by tech issues, so I'm using the library's computer's once more.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 173) *Basically the entire first two paragraphs are not directly related to Malak, and there's too much detail in them. Please see if you can shorten them; it's reading like an article of the battle rather than on Malak.
 * 174) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 175) ***Still remains, and I do not see much "shortening". Please clarify just why this much Malak-unrelated detail is needed.  CC7567  (talk) 06:46, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 176) * "Sometime after Karath left, the Ebon Hawk crew member that Revan chose to break him and the rest of the crew out of the Sith's detention level managed to free them all." The crew member needs an article, and this whole sentence is unclear. How did Revan choose a crew member to help them, and why would a crew member help them?
 * 177) **I'll take care of the sentence, but I believe that there was on the article for this character, but it was ultimately deleted. The article was called "Leviathan prison break agent". I couldn't locate a log on why it was deleted, somebody here probably knows where it is. I'll see if I can find it, I personally don't see why it can't be recreated, per the Dxun Force Adept.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 178) ***Article created: Leviathan prison break agent.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:44, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 179) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 180) * "She confirmed the fact, saying she was part of the Jedi strike team sent to capture him." Please check your tense. It sounds like Revan was being captured right then and there.
 * 181) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 182) ***Just a note: "confirm to " is rather bad and improper English.  CC7567  (talk) 06:25, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 183) * Please rephrase "end his former Master"; it's not very clear.
 * 184) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 185) * "Malak had always regretted betraying his Master from afar, but had now been given a second chance to prove himself." Please somehow rephrase this so that it's more related to the current state of events. I see no reason why it's in here except to serve as unnecessary trivia, since you're not linking it to the events or clarifying how it's relevant.
 * 186) **Good point. Removed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 187) * The first paragraph in "Training Bastila Shan" is extremely redundant in wording, and overall, the phrasing is very boring. Please do something about this.
 * 188) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 189) ***"The true reason Malak chose Shan to be his apprentice was the advantage the Sith Empire could gain from her battle meditation." Please somehow link this into the rest of the text. Blatant statements like this often sound like unnecessary trivia.  CC7567  (talk) 06:25, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 190) ****You can take a look at it, I think I need to remove it outright, but if it's OK I'll leave it be.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:27, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 191) * "at three hundred percent of what the Sith army projected": projected? Please clarify; I don't understand what you mean.
 * 192) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 193) * "When the Jedi penetrated their defenses": "they" who?
 * 194) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 195) * Do we know who this Dark Jedi is? Can he/she get an article?
 * 196) **I don't see why he should get an article; he only appeared twice, and both times on the Star Forge with Malak.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 197) ***...I don't understand your reasoning. If he's confirmed to be the same character that appears twice, I see no reason that he should not get an article.  CC7567  (talk) 06:25, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 198) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:27, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 199) * I don't think you've ever clarified how or even if the Star Forge can make battle droids. Please do so.
 * 200) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 201) ***Please do so earlier at the earliest place possible and relevant. I can't see any reason to do so all the way down there when you already mention the Star Forge battle droids before but never clarify it.  CC7567  (talk) 06:25, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 202) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:27, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 203) * "Malak was at first surprised that any Jedi could stand against an army of Star Forge droids": the "any" does not seem to be the right word here, as it leaves the plural in speculation. Please try to rephrase this.
 * 204) **Took care of the "any".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 205) *There are way too many "then"s and other words that are providing an extremely unnecessary sense of chronology. I've removed some, but please regulate your use of them.
 * 206) **Alright, will try.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 207) * "Revan managed to stop the droids from attacking": from attacking what?
 * 208) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 209) *"Malak surmised that Revan would be a far greater asset to him than even Shan and her battle meditation. He then theorized that perhaps Revan was too powerful to be his apprentice, and that when and if Revan became stronger than him, Revan would betray him, as he himself had betrayed Revan. The former Dark Lord said that he would never turn to the dark side again, which Malak said were foolish words." This is very close to&mdash;if not already&mdash;rambling and vested with pbp. Please shorten these details.
 * 210) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 211) ***I see no change to this paragraph except a modification to a reference note.  CC7567  (talk) 06:46, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 212) * The same issue with the entire last paragraph of "Final confrontation and death," with the addition of more redundant wording. Kasra, I've read other sections of your article that have been much better than this, and I know you can do better.
 * 213) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:13, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 214) ***I'm striking this for now, but the unspecific pronouns and lack of clarity mentioned in the objection below still prevent this one from being properly satisfied. Please take care of this as soon as possible.  CC7567  (talk) 07:27, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 215) * Throughout this entire section, I never have any idea of who you're trying to refer to with "he", with a few exceptions. Please reword for clarity.
 * 216) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 217) * What "previous duels"? Has that ever been clarified?
 * 218) **Yes, there was the one in which Revan sliced off Malak's jaw, (no info on it other than that) and the one on Leviathan.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 219) * "Although Malak was gone, Revan's final duel with him would not be the last anyone ever saw of him." I don't know who you mean by "him".
 * 220) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 221) * "Shortly thereafter, the Jedi Exile left the known galaxy in search of Revan to help him combat the "True Sith", after she defeated Darth Traya and her Sith Triumvirate." Your wording in terms of chronology is unclear here. Also, is this even necessary or relevant to Malak's article?
 * 222) **You know, you're right. Removed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 223) * "in case Malak failed to conquer the galaxy": please clarify why this is in there. It's not making sense, and I can't see why you're linking this to "Revan's original goals".
 * 224) **Removed, not relevant.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 225) * Please check "obvious compared."
 * 226) **Ditto.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 227) * "it showed its heart": what showed his heart?
 * 228) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 229) * The fourth paragraph of "Legacy" isn't very coherent and can be worded slightly better.
 * 230) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 231) *Looking back at all of the objections I just made, I'm noticing that I'm still having to ask you to reword a lot for clarity. If I get the chance, I may finish this review tomorrow, but I don't want to have to object to the same things. If that's the case, then I'm going to hold off until you can check the rest of the article. When you get the chance, I strongly urge you to read through the P&T, P&A, and Bts to make sure that I won't have to ask you to clarify anything else.  CC7567  (talk) 08:01, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 232) **Alright, I think I might have killed these issues. I'm not entirely sure, though, please take a look.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:53, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 233) ***Some of the above still remain, and many also remain from past reviews. Please double-check them.  CC7567  (talk) 06:46, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 234) *Please double-check your tense in the second paragraph of "Final confrontation and death". The current wording suggests that Malak's draining of the Jedi's life forces took place concurrently with the duel, which is unsupported by the current context of the article. Even if the tense is correct, please take note that it's unclear and take action accordingly.  CC7567  (talk) 06:46, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Please make sure that the placement of the images match what the article is talking about. I don't have the means to check this myself right now, but I would suggest that you do this.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Information on Malak from the upcoming Demon arc will be added when it comes out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 00:14, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I'll be busy for the next few days, but I'll take care of your objections, CC.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:58, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * By the way, according to the CSWE's entry on the Leviathan, Malak took command of the ship when Karath brough the ship to the Sith, so.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Kasra, just so you know: it's not that I've forgotten about Malak, I just haven't had a lot of time on my hands lately. I'll try and finish him up this weekend if possible.  CC7567  (talk) 15:48, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * That's no problem, CC, I myself have been busy. Have to use the library's computers since my computer is on the fritz.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:09, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Hey CC, I'll get to the remaining objections as soon as I can, kinda busy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:16, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * A note on the "one-time" and "towards" that I have now reverted back: the former was improper usage of the "ndash"&mdash;it's already an idiom used in English and does not deserve a different dash, and the latter was slang.  CC7567  (talk) 06:46, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Tott Doneeta

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 10:26, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:11, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Back when Twi'leks weren't overdone --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:28, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Back when heat storms were actually present on Ryloth... (I'm staring at you, TCW-era Ryloth.)  CC7567  (talk) 20:37, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Great job, Tommy. Wonder why Tott never stuck to one 'saber color?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:30, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Alright, picked up on a few things.
 * 2) * "he was found by Jedi Master Arca Jeth and trained up as a Knight of the Old Republic." – "Trained up" is rather colloquial; either remove it or change it to something for clarification.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "In 4,000 BBY, Doneeta and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean "and the Qel-Droma brothers", or what?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "causing Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma, to subsequently infiltrate their ranks in an attempt to destroy the Krath from within" – I don’t believe Ulic is Doneeta's brother, no? If this is some sort of mutual agreement between the pair, this needs to be clarified; for someone like me who’s unfamiliar with this time period, it’s not clear at all.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Introduction – context on a "heat storm", and what him losing entailed for himself and his clan.
 * 9) **Addressed, though it didn't really mean much to the clan. Though not necessary, I can add a tad bit more if you still think it's required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * In the section entitled "Jedi Training", clarification regarding the slave ship; were they prisoners, or was this a ship they’d hijacked or what?
 * 11) **Doesn't say.
 * 12) * In the section entitled "War on Onderon": "Doneeta held position with the Beast Riders in their citadel for several day" – Somewhat colloquial, perhaps it could be reworded to something like "Doneeta and the Beast Riders held the citadel for several days"?
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Same section, "leaving the rescue of Master Jeth as the next order of business." – Order of business too is somewhat colloquial – I’d like to see that changed, please.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * In the section entitled "Beginnings of a crusade": "the peace for which they so desperately fought" – desperately’s POV.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Same section: "Doneeta revealed his findings at the same moment when Master Jeth" – Same moment as when, perhaps?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Same section: "and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Reword.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Same section: "When Exar Kun, a Knight claiming affiliation with the "School of Jedi Archaeology", did arrive," – More context on Exar Kun. A Jedi Knight, or what?
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * In the section entitled "Trouble on Deneba": - "the Jedi were also brought up short" – Another colloquial phrase.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Same section: "Doneeta held position with several of his companions," – colloquial again. "Held position" is the specific.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) *So far, I’ve got only down to the "Efforts redoubled" section. I’ll continue my review later today. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  10:04, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Keep'em comin. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) Second look.
 * 31) * In the section entitled "Efforts redoubled": "The suggestion then arose amongst the Jedi that they should instead fly their trustworthy S-100 Stinger fighters" - Trustworthy's rather POVish. Perhaps you could have "which had been proven to be reliable before" or something instead?
 * 32) **Addressed.
 * 33) * Same section: "easily dispatching" - easily's POV. Quickly or something, perhaps?
 * 34) **Addressed.
 * 35) * "and fended off the Krath's forces" - Shouldn't that be Krath? I would have corrected it, but I don't know enough of the subject matter to be sure.
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * Same section: "Unbeknownst to Doneeta and the rest of the Jedi, fallen Jedi Exar Kun, whom they had previously encountered on Onderon, was also present in Cinnagar, with his own intentions of destroying the Krath as well, for he saw them as an obstacle to his own progression in dark side power." - Run on.
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) * In the section entitled "Final offensive": "As the Twi'lek worked to preserve all that he could, both Ulic Qel-Droma and and Exar Kun arrived on Ossus, and Doneeta was with Cay when Ulic touched down nearby." - Reword.
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) * Same section: "Exar Kun tapped into Sith lore more arcane than even he understood and gathered all his Massassi slaves in his temple." - Context on Masassi.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) * "However, the combined Force power of nearly all the Jedi was too much for Kun to combat, and while his spirit was freed by Sith arts, it was indeed trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi, forever within the walls of his temple." - Run on.
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) * In the section entitled "Homecoming": "Tott Doneeta had relocated to his own homeworld to help his Twi'lek brethren seek shelter from incineration by a feared Ryloth heat storm." - Context on heat storm in bio.
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) * "did the unthinkable" - POV.
 * 48) **Addressed.
 * 49) * "the mischievous teen" - Mischievous is POV. Try misbehaving or something.
 * 50) **Addressed.
 * 51) * In the section entitled "Journey to Ryloth", "Towards the convocation's end, Tott Doneeta encountered another of his old friends, the Cathar Jedi Knight Sylvar, who still harbored much hatred for Ulic Qel-Droma, whom she considered a criminal that had escaped atonement for the crimes he committed during the Sith War." is a big run on.
 * 52) **Addressed.
 * 53) * In the section entitled "Lost cause", "The Twi'lek felt that Sylvar, who sulked throughout the entire event, should have shown more gratitude for the pride the Cathar had taken in her, but to no avail; all she wanted was isolation, and pageants, she felt, were a far cry from her desired solitude." is a long run on.
 * 54) **Addressed.
 * 55) * "Undaunted by the Cathar Jedi's impressive speed" - Impressive is POV.
 * 56) **Addressed.
 * 57) * Image caption in the P&T reads: "Tott Doneeta, along with his Jedi Master and brothers, in celebration." - I don't like this use of brother in a non-biological sense.
 * 58) **Addressed.
 * 59) * "revenge like his Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma" same point.
 * 60) **Addressed.
 * 61) * "Upon realization of Qel-Droma's corruption, the Twi’lek initially believed that his friend could be rescued and redeemed, but after he accepted the fact that Qel-Droma had willingly succumbed to the wiles of the Krath, Doneeta’s duty as a Jedi superseded his devotion to his friend, for whom he still cared deeply" Run on.
 * 62) **Addressed.
 * 63) * "who had never been convicted for his war crimes during his time as a Sith Lord." - Of his accused war crimes would work better, or something similar.
 * 64) **Addressed.
 * 65) * I don't like the "TOTJ" abbreviation in the BtS. I don't think it's much trouble to put it in full, which would be much preferable.
 * 66) *That's probably most of what there is; good work, Tommy. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  12:07, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) **Much fun sparring with youu, Tom. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:10, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Cylka:
 * 69) * You should add that he was born Tottdon'eeta in the article proper.
 * 70) **Addressed.
 * 71) * Doneeta was later present on the library world of Ossus when the Sith Brotherhood caused a supernova that threatened to devastate the planet, where he gathered many priceless Jedi artifacts and assisted in the evacuation proceedings. - The last part of this sentence reads somewhat awkwardly. You might want to shuffle it around a bit.
 * 72) **How's that?
 * 73) * The Sith were ultimately defeated by the Jedi, and Qel-Droma led Doneeta and his companions to Kun's stronghold on Yavin 4, where the Twi'lek joined the collective Jedi effort that resulted in Yavin 4's surface destruction and the defeat of Exar Kun. - Two things here: I would add in something about Ulic having renounced his Sith allegiance and make it more clear that the defeat of Kun caused the devastation of the planet. As it reads now, it seems as though the Jedi destroyed the surface intentionally just to defeat Kun.
 * 74) **Addressed, and addressed.
 * 75) * When he finally recognized where her hate was leading her, Doneeta left his old friend in the deserts of Cathar to contemplate whether she would give into the dark side—or not. - I would reword this sentence to make it a bit more clear that Sylvar's hate was leading her towards the dark side. Also being the last sentence of the intro, I feel that it should focus more on Doneeta than Sylvar.
 * 76) **Is this better?
 * 77) * Momentarily shaken by the queen's stifling power, Doneeta carried out his mission and remained on the Ranger with Galia - What was his mission? To protect Galia or was it something else?
 * 78) **Addressed.
 * 79) * The Twi'lek arrived on Thon's world of Ambria and was presented with the Vultan Jedi Oss Wilum. - Why was he presented with Wilum? Was this the aid that Thon was going to give or something else?
 * 80) **Addressed.
 * 81) * beyond their capabilities of fighting in their current state - What was their current state? It isn't all that clear as to how they were hampered.
 * 82) **Addressed.
 * 83) * he Jedi's guidance to the Onderonians helped bring about the peace for which they fought - Who was fighting for peace? The Jedi? If so, please make it a bit more clear.
 * 84) **Addressed.
 * 85) * During the gathering, Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma I'm not really sure that you should use the label Jedi brother in this instance since it may be a bit confusing in regards to Cay and Ulic.
 * 86) **That one slipped through the Darth Tom radar. Addressed.
 * 87) * Escape pods rained down to Deneba's surface, unleashing Krath-designed war droids that proceeded to fire upon the congregation, while the servant droids that were planetside and assisting with the convocation received a change in programming that ordered them to attack their Jedi owners, focusing on the most powerful of those present. - This sentence is a bit long.
 * 88) **Addressed.
 * 89) * Tott Doneeta, Ulic's brother Cay, and his lover, Nomi Sunrider, were dispatched - In this instance, it is a bit unclear as to whose lover Nomi is
 * 90) **Removed that bit. Addressed
 * 91) * The Sith Lord was then scheduled to stand trial, where he would most assuredly be condemned to death. - Is this stated in the source, or is it speculative? Please clarify.
 * 92) **Yes. The Supreme Chancellor said, And you will be sentenced to death. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed )`
 * OK, this is my review so far. I'll pick it up a bit later. So far, it is really interesting, Tommy. Cylka  -talk- 08:18, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Cylka, cont'd:
 * 2) *Jedi Master Thon believed that the Sith planned to once again attack the jump station in jest. - I believe that I know what you mean here, but could you state it a bit more clearly?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *Though successful in releasing his spirit, it was forever trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi within the walls of his temple. - This statement seems to say that the Jedi within the walls of the temple were responsible. Please clarify.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *In the heat storm article it states that Doneeta wanted to help the clan as they were wandering in search of a new home, that is why they were unprotected. I'm not sure if this is correct, but if it is, I think that it would give a bit more clarification as to why he relocated to help with what was a normal occurrence.
 * 7) **Should be good now.
 * 8) *Doneeta sensed the bitterness within her, and though she embraced it - Is this supposed to mean that she reined it in or reveled in it?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *After the liberation of Onderon, Doneeta was among the Jedi who received instruction in taming and flying the drexl war mounts of the Beast Riders. - This statement seems to contradict the earlier stated While his comrades spent time learning to fly the Beast Riders' warmounts, Doneeta's time revolved around cataloging items.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *That's the end, Tommy. It was an enjoyable read. Cylka  -talk- 07:03, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks, Cylka. I'm glad you enjoyed. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 14:25, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) From the scratchpad of Atarumaster88
 * 15) * This will need to be updated for Jedi Academy Training Manual. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:11, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **I believe this has been satisfied. Thanks for the review, Ataru. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 14:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Got one thing here, not done reading it though.
 * 18) * "Doneeta spent his youth as a slave before his family booked passage on a starship that acted as a front for the slaver ring to which they belonged." This confused me. Was his family part of the ring? And he was a slave until he booked passage on a slaver ring when Jeth saved him?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) *I'm up to "Rise of the Krath."  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:14, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Harrar
 * 22) * "Awed by the battle prowess of Master Jeth, Tott hoped to one day be like him" &mdash; my split infinitive neuroses is bubbling and crackling again. Could you reword "to one day be", or else put up a very fierce defense that split infinitives are no longer frowned on as much as they used to be and that this technique serves the article ;P
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "Tott Doneeta was lending aid in the royal palace, preparing the citadel for habitation by the new king and queen, Oron Kira and Galia." &mdash;can you rephrase this out of the imperfect tense, please? It seems unsual to write an article in the imperfect, except when it's "X was doing something when Y appeared"
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) *Wow, read through the rest and it seems clean. My only concern would be that the P&T & P&A use a lot of comparison to celebrate Doneeta (unlike X, Tott never did...etc). I know he walks the straight and narrow, but I think this can be brought across by simply stating his actions, rather than comparing them to those of others. But it's not an objection; just something to consider for future reference. Brilliant article. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:50, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Good points, I've addressed these issues in both sections. I appreciate the review, and thanks, Harrar. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk )
 * 28) Attack of the Clone
 * 29) * "Doneeta flew the Ranger over the Onderonian jungle in search of Galia's abductors. They were spotted by Beast Rider sentries below: who, the Jedi or the abductors?
 * 30) **Addressed.
 * 31) * "A confrontation between siblings quickly escalated into a duel": does this have an article? If it doesn't, it should; please clarify.
 * 32) **It does: Battle of Ossus (Great Sith War), which I've since linked.
 * 33) *Please watch your linking and your dash usage, the former of which tends to be lacking and the latter rather excessive. Also, please heed the WP:MOS for ship class italics. I'll continue with "Post–Exar Kun" later.  CC7567  (talk) 19:52, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Please advise specifically what part you are referring to when you say "ship class italics". Thank you, and I look forward to the remainder of your review. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 21:44, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Mainly for your italicization of "Stinger" when it doesn't have the "-class", as it goes against the Manual of Style.  CC7567  (talk) 21:59, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ****Thank you. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:04, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not objection-worthy, but please check the image caption "Tott Doneeta, along with fellow Jedi celebration". It doesn't seem to be making sense.  CC7567  (talk) 20:37, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Typo, and addressed. Thanks for pointing that out. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 12:51, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * I think it should be mentioned, and sourced, of course, that Doneeta was a Jedi Guardian, otherwise, it looks good, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:33, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Addressed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 12:51, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Motion to strike objections from Cylka (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1) She won't take it personally.  Graestan ( Talk ) 15:40, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 15:42, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:07, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Mission to Skytop Station

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another TCW story arc lays siege to the FAN page! Technically the finale of CloneProject Droid Retrieval, but had to work backward without current possession of Wild Space.

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total/INQCON 3)
Support > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:49, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Nice article, although a bit too play-by-play.  QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:54, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Since I was the one who worked on Denal, here's an objection related to him. How do we know that he is a sergeant? Nothing in the episode establishes that, and the episode guide calls him just Trooper Denal. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Oops. I just checked the sources, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe it was an established fact that he held any rank by the time of the episode.  CC7567  (talk) 19:00, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Small thing for ya:
 * 3) * "The mission featured the series' introduction of the Confederate listening post Skytop Station, previously introduced in The Clone Wars web comic Prelude." I'm assuming you're saying that it was introduced in the TV series, although this is a touch confusing. You state that it was introduced in the series, and then say that it had already been introduced. I get it, but it is a little bit confusing. If you change this around somehow, that'd be great. Good work, though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:39, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Addressed, and thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 20:40, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Defender (Venator-class)

 * Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 04:14, 14 June 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Bringing it up from GA status.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 16:09, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) User:Capt.Scout(Officer report) 16:25, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 05:27, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Graestan ( Talk ) 14:47, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:44, September 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:38, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
 * 1) Nominator has recently been blocked for a significantly extended period of time and has informed an administrator that he has quit the site. If CC wants to take over this article for the sake of his project, I would be satisfied, but if not, I vote to remove. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:16, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Until he returns, I'm comfortable with handing his nomination for him.  CC7567  (talk) 23:23, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Executor

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At the risk of turning this into a cliched acceptance speech blurb, the completion of this article is really a testament to the spirit of community Wookieepedia fosters here. If you're reading this, odds are good that you're one of the many people who helped me in some immeasurable way at some point throughout of putting this article together, be it helping me look up up sources, telling me what I was missing, helping me get images, or just letting me bounce ideas off you, and you know who you are. And I thank you.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total/INQCON 4)
Support > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Well done, Toprawa. A very interesting read. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:32, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) For what's probably the third time I'm telling you, an excellent read, Toprawa.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) There are no more nits I feel qualified to pick. And as the most Saxtonite-leaning member of the Administration or Inquisitorius, I can say with authority that this is exceptionally well balanced. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:01, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Look at the size of that thing! --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 00:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:07, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 20:23, 16 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) *Let me say that this article is extremely well-put together. The only issue I saw was the images near the bottom of the article don't follow the style of left to right.
 * 3) * "Kendal Ozzel" and "Firmus Piett" and other "Admiralty line of succession" images are aligned at the left. Though it looks good, and I think you were going for that look&mdash;would it be best if it does follow that left to right image placing?
 * 4) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **The left-right alternating thing is a guideline, not a rule, and where this article doesn't alternate, it's for good reason. Indeed, the admiralty section is done like that to give it the "profile" look, and there's nothing wrong with that. And the size of the BTS subsections doesn't afford alternating throughout. With all due respect, we're going to have a long time going if this nomination is peppered with mundane, nitpicky objections like this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***No problems Tope. Again, excellent job on the article :) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner, part one:
 * 2) * Intro: "...the Executor, at a monumental 19,000 meters long..." - something about the wording just doesn't seem right. Perhaps "in length" rather than "long" would work better.
 * 3) **I agree that "in length" sounds better, and I have changed the introduction wording to that. The reason I had it worded like that is because I didn't want it to read verbatim to what is repeated in the Description section below, which also used the "in length" wording. So, I have moved the "long" wording to the body.
 * 4) * "The Executor's admiralty immediately passed to Firmus Piett" - some context on Piett, please (what was he before becoming admiral; you know the drill).
 * 5) **Added "Captain" Firmus Piett.
 * 6) * Design: "including the dual geodesic KDY ISD-72x deflector shield generator domes—an enlarged version specially developed from those aboard Imperial-class Star Destroyers—which doubled as communications sensor globes, the officers' quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods for the Executor's upper-echelon commanders, and, most importantly, the bridge." - the comma usage seems to indicate that the shield generator domes doubled as sensors, officer quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods, and the bridge. While it's obvious that that is not the case, this needs to be fixed somehow, but I'm not sure what to do with it.
 * 7) **Yes, good catch. I've added semicolons and a minor wording tweak to try and clear that up. I can still do a little more if you feel it needs it.
 * 8) * Design origins: Perhaps you should list some of the incorrect stats that the Imperial Senate reported (the important one being length, maybe number of weapons, etc.).
 * 9) **The source that mentions that does not specify what the incorrectly-stated stats were. It's obviously meant to retcon the length size and weapons inconsistencies across sources, but again, nothing specific is mentioned.
 * 10) * Manufacturing contract: Lusankya should be linked to when discussing the sister ship.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Starkiller's base of operations: "Having learned of Vader's treachery of taking on an apprentice of his own, the Emperor, watching on via hologram, ordered the Dark Lord to kill the apprentice or be killed himself." - aside from the grammatical error (on via), wasn't Palpatine actually there? If I recall correctly, he enters through the bridge doors and then watched Vader throw Starkiller around before turning to leave.
 * 13) **You've caught one of the novel-vs.-video game inconsistencies. From the novel: "PROXY, standing slightly behind their dark Master, transformed by sinister stages into the Emperor, hooded and enshrouded in shadow." I adjusted the sentence a little bit to specify PROXY's involvement, and note that the sentence is also sourced to the novel. The video game seems to imply that the Emperor comes aboard himself, but I guess with a little retconning imagination, you can say that he transformed into PROXY off camera. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Part two coming soon. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:40, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) The Moffship, part two:
 * 16) * Imperial admirals' plot to sabotage the Executor project: The caption "Installation of the Executor's massive engines" is a bit misleading, given the fact that the Executor had had her engines installed for over three years prior to this time. Does the comic specifically depict/say that the engines were being installed at that point in time?
 * 17) **I absolutely understand what you're saying, but you've again hit on one of the major TFU inconsistencies. It has engines in TFU, and then two years later at Fondor it's shown without engines without any kind of explanation. I don't know how else to explain what is happening in that picture besides engines installation. FWIW, the BTS does discuss this as much as possible. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:40, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *And now I'm up to "Ambushing the Rebel Fleet." I'll continue with my review when I get a chance. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:24, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Moffship, part three:
 * 20) * Search for the Millennium Falcon: "They included the notorious Boba Fett, who had already been in the Hoth system and had boarded the Executor after responding to an Imperial hyperspace message issued even before the Executor's Hoth arrival that announced a crushing defeat of the Rebel headquarters and a large reward for hunting down Rebels fleeing from the battle" - this is a bit unwieldy, especially when compared to the brief descriptions of the other bounty hunters. Could you shorten it?
 * 21) **Shortened up. If the description is still a bit generous, let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Chasing Luke Skywalker at Kothlis: "...although Vader had received confirmation that the Millennium Falcon had indeed been the source of the Force signature, and therefore Skywalker." - I think something's missing here.
 * 23) **Reworded for clarity. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Endor aftermath: Specifically, the info from A Day in the Life. Heir to the Empire reports that the Executor disintegrated upon its collision with the Death Star - a fact mentioned in the Executor entry in the CSWE. So even though the Wister entry makes reference to the remains of the Executor, I still think that the story is non-canon - after all, doesn't the CSWE include entries for other characters who are known to be non-canon?
 * 25) **Not that I know of. I think you might be referring to CSWE making an effort to canonize the Tag & Bink stories as IU tall tales. It's completely contradictory, no doubt, but CSWE does mention the Executor on Endor from the story, and the character bios from the story are both definitely canon entries. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***I'll talk to you about this in IRC sometime today. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "At some point prior to Endor, the Executor and Death Squadron led an attack on an artificially-ringed planet, before an AT-AT assault force was dispatched to the planet's surface. An artist chose to use the Executor's orbital bombardment of the ringed planet to create an illustration of the scene, entitled Executor Executes." - any particular reason why you include this under "Endor aftermath?" It'd probably fit better at the end of "Destruction of Falleen's Fist."
 * 28) **The reason I have it included where it is is because I have tried categorizing this information with regard to the painting, not the battle. There's no indication of when the battle takes place, nor is there any indication of when the painting was released in the IU timeline. So, to be safe, I just put it the end. If you want, I can try rewriting that paragraph to reflect its focus on the painting, rather than the battle. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***If you could reword it to focus more on the painting, that would probably be better. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *And that concludes part three. Part four will start at "Commanders and crew." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) From the undisclosed location of Darth Culator:
 * 33) *These are more comments than objections, since I haven't had a chance to really read it in-depth yet, though having watched it take shape I'm fairly certain it will be an easy review.
 * 34) Before Imp objects to it, I'll be rescanning File:ExecutorKrake.jpg soon. (Soon as in actual time, not "soon" as in my usual definition.) Cylka did an admirable job cleaning up the Marvel scan, but it's not ALTAfied and it's the only Marvel image you have left that needs to be. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:30, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) I'm doing a link review now. I hope you don't mind if I remove any excess duplicates I may find. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 20:06, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *By all means. Thanks for the scan. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:18, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Only two link destinations were incorrect out of 987 unique links. Link duplication looks good at a glance, but I'm not going to check every one individually because there are 1,339 total links and I'm not COMPLETELY insane. This thing is a beast. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:38, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) You have a single ref tag for Fact File 4, but that one is the only Fact File where you list two different relevant articles in the source list (HOT2-HOT4, The Battle of Hoth; OZZ1-OZZ2, Admiral Ozzel). Since the Fact Files were designed to be broken up into a binder and then looked up by the three-letter code, this makes this one ref tag less useful for immediate reference. If the Fact Files were designed like regular magazines, I wouldn't even mention this, but their unique publication format means the ref should probably be split. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:05, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *Luckily for me, they're all from the Ozzel half. Specified/fixed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:00, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) Farlstendoiro has boarded the Executor. Get him out before he can object anything.
 * 41) * Intro: "at a monumental 19,000 meters in lenght". "Monumental" sounds POVish to me.
 * 42) **This is not what POV is. An example of a POV statement in this instance would be something like "The Executor, at 19,000 meters in length, was the greatest starship to ever grace the spacelanes." "Monumental" is a perfectly acceptable descriptive term for its importance and size. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Intro: "The Executor's admiralty passed to Captain Firmus Piett". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand the admiralty is a property of a fleet, a battle group or a navy, never of an individual ship &mdash; which would always be under the orders of her Captain, even if it is the flagship.
 * 44) **I'm afraid you might be thinking on real-world terms, while the Executor and Death Squadron's admiralty-captaincy relationship was rather fuzzy, even on IU terms. The individual in command of the Executor was both the admiral of the ship and of the squadron. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***If you say so... Then, we should change Admiral, btw.
 * 46) * Intro: "the Executor's relatively short life", again POV'ish.
 * 47) **That's not a POV statement at all. It's referenced in verbatim directly from Complete Locations. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * Description > Design: I know KDY stands for Kuat Drive Yards, but I'd like to avoid ambiguity. Maybe the first mention to Kuat Drive Yards could be "...and Kuat Drive Yards (KDY)".
 * 49) **I don't think this is really a problem. KDY equaling Kuat Drive Yards is really a no-brainer. Maybe if you had said you had issues making this connection yourself, I could see the need. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Description > Design: "and, most importantly, the bridge." "Most importantly", POV?
 * 51) **No, not POV. The bridge is the command center of any starship, and is easily the most important component of the Executor's bridge module. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * Description > Design: "the enormous primary hangar bay, which was large enough to dock an Imperial Star Destroyer[41] and thousands of starfighters;[5]". Two different sources provide information about the volume of the hangar bay. Are we sure that the hangar can dock both a Destroyer and thousands of fighters? Maybe source #41 says "hangar can dock destroyer", source #5 says "hanger can dock thousands of fighters", and nowhere says "hangar can dock destroyer + fighters". Do you see what I mean?
 * 53) **This is a technique we use when writing articles to "combine" sources of similar information. Unless they're competing, contradictory descriptions of one another, there's nothing wrong with combining this information. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * History > Design origins: There's a reference to the Imperator-class Star Destroyer. I think it should be a link (I understand it's simply the previous name of a known ship, but still).
 * 55) **I don't think that's necessary. We don't link to things twice in the same article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * History > Design origins: First mention to the Emperor Palpatine in the body of the article (not intro) is not a link.
 * 57) **I wouldn't necessarily make this a requirement, considering "Palpatine" is linked to upon first mention, but very well. I've pipelinked "Palpatine" into the first mention of "Emperor," but this is something I would recommend you changing yourself rather than taking the time to make an objection out of it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * History > Starkiller's base of operations: "liberated his his allies nevertheless". His his.
 * 59) **I have fixed this, but going along with my comments on the previous objection, please go in and fix these minor things yourself. It would have taken you less time and effort to change this than the time it took to make this objection. This is an instance of what those in the Inquisitorius jokingly term . Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * History > Imperial admirals' plot to sabotage the Executor project. As the opening quote talks about "prestige and power", could you use synonyms when saying in 3rd paragraph that the admirals "would suffer a great loss of power and prestige"?
 * 61) **Good catch. I remember this bugging me when I was writing this. Changed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * History > Maiden voyage and approach to Yavin 4: "No, Admiral…it is just beginning!" Suggestion: Add a space after … and maybe capitalize "it".
 * 63) **That would not be correct. This is exactly how it is presented in the comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * History > Probe droids launched and Circarpous V. "With the aid of the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal, Skywalker defeated Vader in a lightsaber duel despite being far from a match for Vader's might." Confusing, I suggest rewording. Skywalker was not a match for Vader's might without the influence of the Kaiburr, so the sentence should be ordered otherwise: "Skywalker dueled Vader with lightsaber", plus "Skywalker was not a match for Vader" but "as Skywalker was under the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal", "Skywalker defeated Vader".
 * 65) **I think your suggested rewording just makes the sentence unnecessarily convoluted and actually more confusing than it is now. But, I have reworded the sentence slightly to hopefully make it less confusing: "Skywalker defeated Vader in a lightsaber duel with the aid of the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal, despite being far from a match for Vader's might, and he escaped once again." Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * History > Battle of Hoth. Some context for Maximilian Veers, including the fact that he was among the crew of the Executor, his role on the ship, maybe the fact that he was under Ozzel's command and, if my memory serves right, that Veers tried to excuse Ozzel's mistake (ESB radio drama).
 * 67) **I have provided a bit more context for Veers, but that he's the general in charge of the Executor's forces is all the context that is ever given for him, and he was no more under Ozzel's command than he was under Vader's. Moreover, his being aboard the Executor is really a given, and I don't feel we need to restate the obvious. These types of specifics are covered in the article's "Commanders and crew" section. Also, you are mistaken about the ESB radio drama exchange. Vader challenges Veers to defy Ozzel's command for the latter's stupidity, but Veers refrains from badmouthing his superior officer. He does not apologize for Ozzel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * History > Search for the Millenium Falcon. Context of IG-88B including its relationship with the previously-mentioned IG-88A, particularly as it is referred later. I would also like a mention to the Gand Findsman Zuckuss, but only because I like Zuckuss; I'll understand if you don't want to.
 * 69) **Both of these are unnecessary for the purposes of this article in that they would just go off on unnecessary tangents of extraneous detail. Especially in the case of an article this size, the description should be kept as narrow to the point as possible. A link is provided for IG-88B should anyone wish to read into the character Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) * History > Search for the Millenium Falcon. "but Vader did not care. He had lost his patience with the Executor's crew, who had failed him time and time again" You have already said that; maybe you could use a shorter sentence?
 * 71) **Really, I'm not sure what the problem is here. There's nothing here that is grossly repeated, and it's not overly wordy. I think this is necessary description for the focus of Piett's dilemma in that paragraph. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) * History > Invasion of Mygeeto. 'Among the pilots transferring was the "Imperial Ace."' The quotation marks are confusing. Could it be reworded to 'the sentient known only as "Imperial Ace"' or 'code-named "Imperial Ace"'
 * 73) **That would probably be bordering on Original Research. I don't think we can definitively state that he was "only known as" the Imperial Ace or that that was his code name. Information on the character is extremely limited since he was only featured in a cell phone game, and I think it works fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * History > Return to Coruscant. Context for Kallic?
 * 75) **There is none, which is why I have not provided any. The quote at the top of that section is the only place Kallic is ever mentioned. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * History > Feigning pursuit of the Death Star plans. "Soon enough, the Feylya's Pride". One apostrophe missing.
 * 77) **Fixed, but I call once more upon the clause. You could have changed this yourself in less time than it took to make the objection. Please handle these things yourself next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) * History > Destruction of Falleen's Fist. "the two minutes expired with no word from Xizor". Please, add the reason: Did Xizor try to communicate and failed to broadcast his surrender? Or did he believe that Vader was bluffing? I think this is a very important point.
 * 79) **Description added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) * History > Protecting the Death Star construction site > "The Executor remained in Endor's orbit above the incomplete Death Star[105] while Vader departed in his shuttle to board the battlestation.[45][106] The Executor also regrouped with the Star Destroyers of Death Squadron at Endor.[7]" Reading this, I thought that the Executor dropped Vader on Endor and then left to re-join the Death Squadron somewhere else in the system. Suggested rewording: "Remained in Endor's orbit above the incomplete Death Star" + ", regrouping with the Star Destroyers of Death Squadron" + "while Vader departed yada yada".
 * 81) **I am sorry if you had trouble with this interpretation, but I think you're just reading into this far too much. The only thing going on at Endor is the Death Star, in Endor's orbit. Where else would they be regrouping? I don't think a change is needed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) * History > Battle of Endor. "The unorthodox Rebel tactic proved incredibly effective" Maybe you could add who in the Rebel fleet suggested the tactic?
 * 83) **Added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * History > Death of a giant and Imperial fallout. "Piett believed that the Rebels were doomed from the beginning, and once the Rebel Fleet first advanced upon the Executor and the Star Destroyers in response to the Death Star firing, he was already beaten" Don't get it. Piett mistakenly believed that?
 * 85) **No, it's stating a fact. By that point in the battle, Piett (meaning his forces too) was a beaten man. I've made a very minor wording tweak here. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) * History > Death of a giant and Imperial fallout. "All hands onboard died with the Executor." No evacuation attempt was made? Why? Or maybe it was made and failed? Why?
 * 87) **There is no canonical example of any kind of evacuation attempt being made, and so nothing of the sort is described in this article. Adding any kind of description like that would be fanon. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * History > Endor aftermath. Rewording of quote caption: I wouldn't want anyone to believe that Madine said the first line.
 * 89) **I would seriously question the analytical skills of anyone who did. I think the implication that Madine is debunking the belief that the Executor is attacking is made perfectly clear here, beside the fact that two separate quotations are presented. Moreover, there is no information regarding who said the first line, it was really just a sort of random shout coming from a crowd. I'm sorry, but I don't believe a change is necessary. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * History > Executor's Legacy. "Pellaeon often wondered how the Battle of Endor's outcome might have been different if it had been Thrawn commanding the Executor, rather than Vader." Was Vader commanding the Executor during the Battle of Endor? The article seems to suggest that it was Piett, with Vader busy elsewhere (Mostly the Death Star, the planetary surface, wherever). Maybe Pellaeon misunderstood it, or maybe I'm misunderstanding?
 * 91) **I understand your concern, and that is indeed what it seems to suggest, but that is the description as it is exactly presented from the source. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) * Commanders and crew > Kendal Ozzel. "Vader agreed to install him". Agreed with whom? (something already explained under History, but it would be nice to see it repeated here). Current wording only says that naming Ozzel wasn't Vader's idea.
 * 93) **There is really no clear connection between who Vader interacted with outside of Mara Jade to install Ozzel as the Executor's commander. Adding anything of that sort would be OR/fanon. What exactly would you suggest? Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) * Commanders and crew > Kendal Ozzel. "the Dark Lord executed him for his blunder, the second Executor admiral to receive such a punishment" Question: Is the source adamantly specific on Ozzel being the second Executor admiral killed by Vader? As far as I know at this point, maybe there was an interim admiral between Nameless Guy and Bentro, who lasted five minutes and then was killed by Vader. Maybe this guy was admiral during, say, Bentro's holiday or sick leave or anything. Simply tell me: Is there a source saying "Ozzel was the 2nd Executor admiral killed by Vader", or are we making assumptions?
 * 95) **I see your point. I've tweaked the wording to accommodate this possibility. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "Miraculously, Piett survived execution after Skywalker..." Did he? There was no execution. This seems to suggest that Vader strangled Piett with the intent of killing him, but that the Dark Lord failed somehow.
 * 97) **Changed "survived" to "avoided." Again, . Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "this time around Vader simply left the bridge, too shaken from his encounter with Skywalker on Cloud City." I think the "History" section suggested that Vader could have killed Piett (was not too shaken to execute him), but consciously decided not to, as Piett as not responsible of anything.
 * 99) **I'm merely describing what the sources say, be they contradictory or not. I'm not sure what you want me to do here, but I don't feel a discussion regarding a possible contradiction of Vader's mindset is so relevant to this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "Piett had escaped his fate where the Executor's previous admirals had not." POVish, and inexact: Not all the previous admirals were executed by Vader; Griff died in combat. Unless you mean death in general.
 * 101) **Well, this is not what POV is. It is a technically incorrect statement, however, which I have tweaked for accuracy. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) * Commanders and crew > Secondary commanders. I've just discovered here that Venka replaced Piett as the captain of the Executor when Piett was promoted. This is important enough to be mentioned under the "History" section.
 * 103) **Added to end of "Occupation of Bespin." Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:02, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) * Commanders and crew > Secondary commanders. Are we sure the captain in Star Wars 63: The Mind Spider is not the same guy as the captain in Shadows of the Empire? Why?
 * 105) **This would be fanon to make this connection. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) * Non-canon history > Star Wars: X-Wing. This description could use a date. When was Farlander captured? Or, more exactly: When does the plot of SW:XW takes place?
 * 107) **This isn't really necessary. The game spans the duration of Operation: Skyhook, but the Executor has no real role in the game, only appearing as a non-canon cut scene. The only time the Executor ever truly has a role in the game (which was removed in the 1995 re-release) is during the Battle of Tatooine from the beginning of ANH, which is all properly described in the article. If someone wants to read into the details of the game's canonical history, they can click that article's link. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 108) * Star Wars: Rebellion (video game). Should this be added to the Non-canon history or the BtS? I think Executor is only a default name for any Superdestroyer the Imperial player/AI builds.
 * 109) **It should not. The Executor is only indirectly mentioned in the in-game Piett encyclopedia entry, which is canon. The Executor has no role in the non-canon portion of the game. The game has a number of randomly-generated names, Executor included, which the AI can apply to any given starship at any time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) * Btw, I created and stubbed an article for Atari, just to avoid redlinks, hope you don't mind. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:14, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) One more time, with feeling:
 * 112) You mention ending Black Sun's influence in the intro, but not in the body. It should be mentioned in both, though a less definitive wording like "thrown into disarray" would probably be more accurate. Rebellion Era Campaign Guide (p. 145) mentions that "The loss of Xizor decimates Black Sun in the months prior to the Battle of Endor, sparking an internal power struggle that lasts for several years," which I think is relevant to the legacy of the ship that killed him. (Incidentally, this seems to be the only mention of the Executor in the RECG, but that means it needs to go in the sources section so you may as well ref this to it.) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:15, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) *Added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:10, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) Harrar - Description section
 * 115) * "Although the command tower....making such Imperial opulence a possibility." &mdash; I'm not sure opulence is the best word to use here. The majority of definitions which I looked up have it as closely linked to wealth, and that's certainly the connotation readers will receive. The command tower's positioning has little to do with wealth, surely?
 * 116) * While you'll probably contend that "like the gaping maw of some beast" comes from the sources you've used, I feel that similes are usually out of place in an encyclopedia. If you can think of another way to provide a description for the chamber than that'd be great; if not then I'll retract the objection. No worries, on reconsideration.
 * 117) **I could trim the simile down to just say "like a gaping maw," to make it a bit less dramatic. If you'd prefer that, please let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) ***Nah I reckon it works how it is! Appreciate the willingness to tinker though :)
 * 119) * "Vader acknowledged that his delay was to allow the Rebels time to report back to the Rebel base the Executor's advance toward Yavin 4, before ordering the Super Star Destroyer onward with no delay." Seems a shame to have delay repeated; please reword one of them.
 * 120) **Done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) * "The Star Destroyers' inaccurate hyperspace jump stopped the Executor cold, allowing the last remnants of the Rebel Fleet to escape safely into hyperspace." &mdash; is it the damage caused by the inaccurate jump what stops the Executor, or is it some sort of hyperspace disturbance? If it's the damage incurred, can you clarify this please?
 * 122) **Well, it had less to do with any sustained damage and more with the collision just sort of stopping the Executor's momentum cold, just like a car crash might do to a speeding vehicle. I've tweaked the sentence ever so slightly to try and clarify this a bit. If you require more, please let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:29, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) * According to Brenn Tantor and my recollection of Force Commander, it's Tantor who commands Veers during the Battle of Hoth. What's up?
 * 124) **As far as I know, Brenn Tantor is not connected with the Executor in any way. And not all of the ground forces on Hoth were necessarily only from the Executor. I don't believe any mention of his name is necessary. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) ***Okay cool, I was checking in case it'd been missed.
 * 126) *Finished my review. I'll say again that this is a work of true scholarship. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 22:34, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) **Thank you for your kind words, and thank for your time taken to review this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 128) ***Un plaisir. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 00:04, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 129) Can you explain in a foot note why you have placed the Tao incident where you have? From reading the comic, it seems to me it could also be placed a lot closer to the Battle of Hoth. As it is ambigious, I don't think it needs to be moved, but the placement should be explained. --Eyrezer 08:06, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) According to The Essential Atlas the Executor was "The product of the oft-delayed Project Sarlacc". You could mention this --Jinzler 13:02, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 131) *There are about six pages in the Atlas that contain new bits of Executor info, all of which I have yet to update this article with. I will get to it in due time. Until then, I'll ask everyone to please refrain from listing everything that needs to be updated, because I am aware of it all. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:51, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Guys, I swear to you that one of the load screens from the Xbox 360 version of The Force Unleashed mentioned Executor as the Mammoth Star Destroyer. I think I mentioned this on the article's talk page before (here) but it was never backed up. Can somebody please look into this now that it's going up for FA? I think that the nickname or title or whatever of the "Mammoth Star Destroyer" should be mentioned somewhere. This is more of a general statement, sort of an objection until this is looked into... –Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 06:46, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *As I stated on the talk page, there's no indication that that's meant to be anything but a general description for a "large Star Destroyer," and I would question the sanity of anyone who would think otherwise, though I know there are some out there who will. Regardless, this would probably be information more relevant to the Executor-class article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Well that's a bit insulting, especially considering you haven't even seen it yourself, but okay–point taken. It won't be looked into. –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 03:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***That's not meant to be insulting at all, but you can interpret it like that if you like. It's called a "mammoth Star Destroyer," which isn't indication of being a ship class, like "Mammoth-class Star Destroyer" would be. You're more than welcome to look into it, but I think, as I've stated, it has more to do with the Executor's class. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:51, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Like I explained before, it didn't come up as "mammoth", it came up as "the Mammoth Star Destroyer". –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 04:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****What would you suggest exactly? I'm not sure where this would go other than a short BTS note. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:14, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Meh, I guess you're right, since the ship already has a class. Oh well. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:27, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Dunno if it's any use to you for the length stuff in the BTS, but there's a comment here by one of the Forces of Corruption developers about the scaling of the Executor model in the game. --  I need a name  ( Complain here ) 18:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Attack on the Endar Spire

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: For the Republic. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Excellent job. Well done.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 15:27, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) It's good, but...
 * 2) * All instances of "Master" should be capitilized.
 * 3) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * After you mention "Bastila Shan" the first time, all references to her should be made with her surname.
 * 5) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * After fighting their way to the bridge, Revan and Ulgo found it devoid of Republic soldiers. Overran by the Sith, a group of Sith soldiers attacked the pair. Fending them off, they received word from Onasi that Shan had escaped in an escape pod. Didn't Revan receive this message from Onasi after Ulgo distracted Bandon?
 * 7) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * With Brejik dead, the trio returned to Onasi and Revan’s base of operations. When you play the game, only Revan and Shan return to the hideout, and Onasi goes, "Bastila, you're alive" and so forth.
 * 9) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *Take care of these, and I'll be happy to support the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:59, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 12) * "Attacking it with squadrons of Sith fighters, Darth Bandon, Malak's apprentice, led a boarding party of Sith troopers and Dark Jedi onto the Endar Spire." - did Bandon lead the fighter attack? If not, this sentence should be broken up or reworded.
 * 13) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Now it's a bit awkward. Still needs to be reworded somehow. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *****Still not fixed. "Attacking it with Sith fighters" is grammatically incorrect where you have it. There needs to be subject-verb agreement in that sentence, and I don't even think using "attack" as a verb here would be a good idea. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Revan, reaching Onasi and the final escape pod, escaped from the ship with the others who had reached the escape pods." - too many forms of "escape." Please substitute.
 * 18) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "...Malak aimed to pull the Endar Spire out of hyperspace and attack it with his forces. When the Leviathan pulled the Endar Spire out of hyperspace, the Sith fleet attacked." - too much repetition.
 * 20) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "...in an attempt to capture Shan alive so that the Sith Empire could use her battle meditation ability." - how would capturing Bastila allow the Sith Empire to use her battle meditation?
 * 22) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It's still not clear how they would be able to use her ability. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Added. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) *****You misunderstood me here - I'm not asking for context on battle mediation; I'm asking for you to clarify how turning Bastila to the dark side would allow the Sith to use her ability. Would she then use it willingly, or would the Sith have to do something else? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Former Sith Lord and Sith Master of Darth Malak, the amnesiac Revan, was serving as a newly recruited soldier for the Republic." - you need to briefly explain how Revan came to be on the Endar Spire here.
 * 27) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *The transition from Bastila's ability to Revan being aboard the Endar Spire is very sudden. Plus, you mention that Revan awoke when the battle started, but then you state that Ulgo woke him. Which is it? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Okay. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Still no good. I'd mention Revan in the prelude, and it would be there that I'd give the details on how he came to be on the ship. Where it is now makes little sense. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic, the Jedi fighting Malak's Dark Jedi and the soldiers from both factions engaging in combat." - this is a bit awkward; please reword or even split it up.
 * 32) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic." - seems a bit unnecessary on its own; please merge with the following sentence. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Still not addressed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "The Sith fleet, not wishing to kill Shan, did not direct firepower that would destroy the ship against the Endar Spire." - "destroy the ship against the Endar Spire"? What?
 * 37) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "...they knew Shan would be attempting to escape in an escape pod." - like one above, you should substituted "escape" with something else.
 * 39) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Hasn't been fixed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Whoops, my bad. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * "In order to save Revan ... the Sith fleet destroyed the Endar Spire." - this entire paragraph is filled with way too many "escape"s and "escaped"s. Please find some appropriate synonyms to use.
 * 43) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Lastly, in the Aftermath section, I think you should occasionally use pronouns and other terms (like "the Jedi") when referring to Bastila. There are an awful lot of "Shan"s as-is. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **All addressed; thanks for the review so far, Tranner. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***As far as I know, Bastila was not the commander of the Endar Spire. Please rephrase/replace. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) The Aftermath section is unnecessarily large. It needs to be pared down. As it is, this article feels very labored and drawn out. If properly concise, I doubt it would pass the 1,000 word mark... --Eyrezer 13:33, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  14:53, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) There should also be a lead quote, too. --Eyrezer 13:35, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) *Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  14:53, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) Attack from the Anvil-class Star Destroyer:
 * 53) * "During the Jedi Civil War, when the Galactic Republic came under attack from the Sith Empire, the Republic Hammerhead-class cruiser Endar Spire was assigned to transport Jedi Padawan Bastila Shan." Transport her where? Why?
 * 54) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  14:53, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) *That's all. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 02:03, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
 * 1) If I'm not mistake, objections remaining from over a month ago, and it's extremely lagging.  CC7567  (talk) 02:08, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Willing to strike this if the nominator contacts Tranner and gets this going again.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:13, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I would like to note that DT has recently been in contact with me, and he said he would fix my objections, but this has yet to be done. I'm going to wait a bit before voting to remove. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:25, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Apologies; there were a number of objections I believed I'd fixed when I, in actual fact, hadn't. Either way, they're addressed now. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  13:06, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) More than a few objections appear to be over a month stale, and those that aren't seem to have likewise fallen idle anyway.  Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:59, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Darth Andeddu

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:So, dog&mdash;have you discovered my final secret?

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) After some minor corrections of my own. Nice work. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Thanks, Vic. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) As always, great job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 21:02, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Interesting and well-written. It may have to come to re-writing stuff like P&T, P&A and the intro on DoE's release though. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:02, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *No worries there at all. Thanks for the review! —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 15:31, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Objections resolved over IRC. --Eyrezer 05:29, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * File:Andeddu'sKeep.jpg needs to be cropped better. Letterbox frames are visible in the upper left corner. Additionally, the speech bubble text must be restored, to comply with Images. I am also not 100% pleased with the quality of File:AndedduLavaMaker.jpg; there is some distortion. Perhaps Redemption could be persuaded to re-scan the images in question? This objection falls under rules 4 and 16 of the FAN criteria. --Imperialles 12:49, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *First one has been addressed, and awaiting response from Redemption regarding the second one. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 18:37, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Both have been addressed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 04:23, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I trust you'll be updating this when Dynasty of Evil comes out? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:07, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:02, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Not really an objection, but shouldn't the paragraph in the BTS about his appearances be referenced? Just wondering, since I had to do that for Malak, Bandon, and Nord.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Those are self-sourcing statements, which do not require reftags. The ones that are not have all been sourced. Thanks for the review, Kasra. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:18, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Skytop Station

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with CC's Droid Retrieval project

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 22:22, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Kreivi Wolter 10:53, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 19:23, 25 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 14:27, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) * Throughout the article, you say the group were going to target the repulsorlift generators. However in the episode, their target was the main reactor. The reactor was protected by the rayshield.
 * 3) **Okay, I see what you mean.
 * 4) * This may be a speculation but possibly the repulsorlift generators were near the reactor at the time of the station exploding, which caused the Federation core ship to fall.
 * 5) **I think it's a little to speculatory to say that, but I worded it vaguely enough to work out. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:18, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Indeed, I'll review it again soon. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Bah, relapse of Droid Retrieval...
 * 2) * "Although Ventress detested the principals behind the listening post": specifically what kind of principals?
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * Are you sure that it was specifically "Republic Intelligence" that confirmed the station's existence? In Wild Space, I believe it was only referred to simply as "intelligence," and same with "Downfall of a Droid."
 * 5) **Episode guide calls it Repubic Intelligence. I reffed it as such.
 * 6) * For the events surrounding Nachkt's obtaining of R2-D2 and his deal with Grievous, as well as the Mission to suspected Confederate space, can the events be placed better chronologically? They're currently a bit confusing.
 * 7) **Ehrm. Gimme a little bit on that one.
 * 8) ***Better? If I introduce Nachkt any earlier it starts having more focus on Bothawui and less on Skytop Station.
 * 9) * For the second paragraph of "Destruction", "although" starts off sentences twice. Can at least one be varied?
 * 10) **First was changed.
 * 11) * You vary between R3-S6/R3 and R2-D2/R2; can you try to use the droids' full names for consistency? I ran into the same problem when I did the event articles, but I found it was clearer to be consistent.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) * "under his watch": this is a bit unspecific and also a bit unclear; can you reword it?
 * 14) **Taken care of.
 * 15) * I would suggest listing Katuunko's DB entry under the Sources, as it was the only place that confirmed the use of Skytop Station to intercept the meeting between the king and the Supreme Chancellor.
 * 16) **In there.
 * 17) * Any more Bts info that might be out there, either from the video commentaries, the episode guides, or any sourcebooks?  CC7567  (talk) 07:22, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **The video commentary pertains exclusively to the Tano/Grievous duel. And the Episode guides have nothing applicable. As far as sourcebooks go, I skimmed the Campaign Guide yesterday and found nothing. It's kind of a straight forward piece of equipment. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:57, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Kay, last one for now. "Unbeknownst to both Nachkt and Grievous, R2-D2 was never issued a memory wipe, and therefore still retained information on Republic bases and strategies." Can this be moved down, or just removed completely? I'm not getting why it's relevant enough to be mentioned so early here.  CC7567  (talk) 17:57, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Outta there. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:37, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Clone Attack II
 * 22) * This is purely superficial, but can you try to standardize the size of the intro paragraphs? They're a bit uneven.
 * 23) **Eh, I'll work on it. It's a little tough because it's a pretty clear separation between a descriptive paragraph and then a historical paragraph, but gimme a bit and I'll see what I can do.
 * 24) ***If you can't work with changing the split, then you can just leave it as it is; it was more of a comment than an objection. I'm striking this, and I'll leave it up to you what you do with it.  CC7567  (talk) 22:22, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * "giving the Confederacy the ability to ambush Republic fleets": can you try rewording this? I know that this is essentially what the information gave the Confederacy, but it's a bit too general and unspecific. Perhaps something regarding the station's ability to ambush the fleets with the information?
 * 26) **Better?
 * 27) * Can something be said of Tano and Rex's rescue of Skywalker during his scouting mission? I know that it's slightly unrelated to Skytop Station itself, but it's a bit unclear about how they became involved.
 * 28) **Taken care of.
 * 29) * In the second paragraph "Destruction", two sentences begin with "although"; please vary at least one of them.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * Similarly, in the next paragraph, two sentences begin with "as"; please vary sentence structure.
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "Momentarily captured" isn't working very well; it sounds like Tano was captured for "a short amount of time", meaning that she already escaped.
 * 34) **Removed.
 * 35) * Is there a reason its appearance in "Downfall of a Droid" is "referenced to"? Mentioning it this way in the Bts is fine, but I would suggest changing it to Mo or Imo in the Appearances section.
 * 36) **Fixed.
 * 37) *Good work, Trayus.  CC7567  (talk) 21:04, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **Thank you. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:33, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments > JangFett  Talk 14:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * My jury is still out on the necessity of a commanders and crew section. So if you think it's needed, let me know. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, we know that Skytop was crewed by Aqualish technicians, and it also appears that Grievous was in command of the station for some time. So I'd say that a commanders and crew section should be written up, even if it's very short. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:00, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * There's one in there now. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:33, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Fixed quite a few spelling errors. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Tao

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Current GA

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Your linking was seriously lacking though. Make sure you've got that fixed before you nominate an article, please.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 04:12, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:51, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kreivi Wolter 06:29, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) <font color="DarkCyan">The Flash  {talk} 17:48, September 5, 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 13:08, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) What is the source for the 1 ABY date? AFAIK, the comic itself doesn't state that Tao died exactly one year after Yavin, it could as well be 0 ABY. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Having dealt with this story when writing the Executor article, the comic itself does not provide a hard date, so specifying 1 ABY explicitly is probably unfounded, but a general date can be had when taking into consideration that the Executor is apparently first arriving over Coruscant some time not long after completion, which would give us a date of somewhere circa 0.5 ABY - 1 ABY. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:23, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **I see your point, though I would prefer to see "circa" and a note explaining such choice of date in the article itself. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:06, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) The article is fairly good shape, but I've spotted a few issues. First, I agree with QuiGonJinn; it'd be best to use "circa" or "c." beforehand, but cite a source. Second, the intro needs to be expanded. There appears to be enough info to sustain at least two paragraphs. Fix those and I believe the article is sound enough to be passed.  The Flash  {talk} 21:21, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *He died shortly after the Executor was finished. When was that?--Kreivi Wolter 05:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ** Around 3 BBY.  The Flash  {talk} 17:44, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I've added a footnote as to the date of his death and placed it between 1 and 3 ABY. I'd say it was intended to be just before the Battle of Hoth as it depicts what is likely intended to be the probe launch scene from ESB, and the death is followed by the Battle of Hoth. However, I've tried to explain the ambiguity. --Eyrezer 08:10, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **** Great, but the lead still seems a bit inefficient to me. <font color="DarkCyan">The Flash  {talk} 23:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Lead expanded somewhat. Although the article is quite long there are not many hard events to include in the intro. How is it now? --Eyrezer 04:02, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ******Perfect - I've supported it now. <font color="DarkCyan">The Flash  {talk} 17:48, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Can you try and recheck the P&T and P&A? I'm noticing a lot of redundancy between them and the bio, and I'm not sure if all of the detail is necessary.  CC7567  (talk) 23:04, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *I've pared down the P&A to just the abilities he displayed. How is it now? --Eyrezer 04:02, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Much better.  CC7567  (talk) 04:12, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) No creative reviewing title yet
 * 14) * If he was Vader's apprentice, shouldn't the Order of the Sith Lords be listed in the infobox then?
 * 15) **As I understand it, the Order is a technical title. Vader - and indeed the Emperor - have had numerous apprentices or people that they trained, without them being part of the Order of the Sith Lords. --Eyrezer 08:19, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * Context on Vader upon first mention in the "Battle of Shumari" section.
 * 17) **Done
 * 18) * First paragraph of the "Vader's apprentice" section: Upon ending this meeting, Vader returned to his meditation chamber feeling angry and frustrated... ; Angry at what had transpired in the Yavin system, Vader demanded that Tao come at him with all his anger... ; ...lacking both the hatred and anger required to be a Sith... ; Attempting to fuel Tao's anger.... That's just too angry, please vary words a bit.
 * 19) **Lol - there is a lot of anger in the comic, but modified.
 * 20) * Brief context on the Executor
 * 21) **Done
 * 22) *Though Vader did not wish to do so, he was unable to do otherwise in the presence of Palpatine. Was this the case? When reading the comic, I was left under the impression that Palpatine controlled Vader's actions in some capacity. Please check.
 * 23) *P&A: wishing to avenge his fallen teacher, Tao wished... Repetitive.
 * 24) **Removed in the P&A rewrite. --Eyrezer 04:02, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * Since Vader's Legacy has not been published in three years and appears to be effectively cancelled, the Bts should reflect this.
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) * QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 07:57, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I don't take credit for writing this article, but as a 1500 GA, I'm nominating it and will see it through the FAN process. --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Young-Elders War

 * Nominated by: &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My fourth completed article and first one long enough to qualify for FA. Part of JonathanProject:Obi-Wan left the Jedi.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) How could I not? —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 04:17, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 08:20, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 00:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 17:47, 28 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:38, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "Yoda sent Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his thirteen-year-old Padawan to rescue Tahl." You need to state who the Padawan is at this point, since you start the next paragraph off talking about him, like he's already been mentioned.
 * 3) **Facepalm. How did I forget that? Addressed.
 * 4) * "Breaking the rules of his apprenticeship, he agreed to help Cerasi and the Young with their plan and participate in the early stages of one of the attacks." How exactly was Kenobi breaking the rules of his apprenticeship?
 * 5) **The source is a bit unclear, but I've clarified it slightly.
 * 6) *Gotta get ready for my football game. More to come later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:45, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **No problem. I'll look forward to the rest of your review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:01, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Didn't The Middle Generation ally themselves with the Young near the end of the war? Why aren't they in the infobox?
 * 9) **The Middle Generation allied with the Young at the end of the war, not "near" the end of the war&mdash;specifically after the attack on the spaceport, which was the battle that ended the war. Since they never actually participated in the war, I didn't list them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Again, the infobox. As I remember, Wehutti was one of the Elders' leaders. If I'm correct, you should add him to the "commanders" field.
 * 11) **In The Defenders of the Dead, it's stated that Wehutti was a Melida leader before the Young-Elders War, but no source explicitly states that he was a commander in the war itself. For all we know, he could be just a political leader and not a military leader. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * I'm sure that the war was mentioned several times in the subsequent books. Something along the lines of "Obi-Wan leaving the Order" counts at least as an indirect mention.
 * 13) **I think that counting every mention of Obi-Wan leaving the Order as an indirect mention of the war might be stretching things a bit, but there might be a few that actually have an indirect mention of the war itself (e.g. I think the The Captive Temple mentions Obi-Wan interfering in a planet's internal affairs, now that I think about it). I'll look into this as soon as I can get the books from the library, but if it only mentions Obi-Wan's resignation in relation to his relationship with Qui-Gon, I wouldn't call it an indirect mention of the war itself. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Mostly addressed. I'm still waiting on The Shattered Peace and The Followers, however; both are listed in my library account as "in transit", so I should have them later today (Thursday). &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:48, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Nothing about the war itself in The Shattered Peace. As far as The Followers, I misread my account; it was a different book labeled "in transit", and the only copy of The Followers in the system is out and not due back until 7/14, so it could be a while before I can get my hands on it. Xwing328, Grunny, and JangFett appear to have it, so I'll see if I can get ahold of one of them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Nothing in The Followers, so this one appears to be fully addressed. Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:33, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Could not find anything else to object to. I remember writing this one a while ago. Great job on expanding and improving it. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) For now, please try to avoid getting dash-happy. There are a ton of unnecessary dashes throughout the article in places where commas would suffice.  CC7567  (talk) 05:34, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Number of dashes significantly reduced to no more than two per paragraph. I have to admit I do tend to use dashes a little too much. Thanks for the first look. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:49, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Will properly review soon.  CC7567  (talk) 17:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Attack of the Clone
 * 5) * For the 'War for peace' section, I'd prefer if you chose either the quote under the main header or the quotes in the subsections. It's a bit overkill with that many quotes in the article, and it would be the equivalent of providing a quote for each section and subsection.
 * 6) **After some consideration, one of the quotes has been moved to the top of the article and is now the lead quote. Another one was deleted in the section merge you asked for below. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Is it possible for the two subsections under "The Jedi" to be merged and removed? The Jedi's mission is collectively both subsections, and there's a bit excess subsectioning.
 * 8) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Similarly, can the subsections in "Peace refused" be eliminated? Since the sections are so closely related, they're a bit scanty in their current state.
 * 10) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * You're using "however" rather extensively throughout the article, and it's getting repetitive; please go through and either vary or remove some of them. I would also recommend checking for other redundant conjunctions.
 * 12) **Several instances have been changed and a few have been completely removed.
 * 13) * I'd like to hear your reasoning on why mentioning the "mentions" of the war in the other Jedi Apprentice books are necessary. Only its direct appearances in media and sourcebooks appear to be warranted.
 * 14) **After thinking about it some, the Apprentice mentions have been condensed into a single sentences with a note explaining that they come primarily as Obi-Wan reflects on the past, which ties into the second paragraph of the BTS. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Good work.  CC7567  (talk) 20:29, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 2,441 words at last count, so not real long. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Little Bivoli

 * Nominated by:Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] (talk) 19:50, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Long story short, I killed off the GAN and put it up for my first FAN.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) I fixed all instances of "Heirogryph", back to "Hierogryph". Looks good, Nayayen.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:57, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 18:37, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * File:Bivolimess.jpg needs to be re-uploaded with the speech bubbles restored. --Imperialles 10:16, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *Fixed Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] (talk) 18:33, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Attack of the Clone
 * 3) * Is it "Little Bivoli", as the title states, or "the Little Bivoli"? Please try to be consistent.
 * 4) **The ship is called "Little Bivoli" but one refers to it as "the Little Bivoli", as with the Executor. I fixed all instances to "the Little Bivoli". Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "the outer parts of the these were on the diagonal surfaces of the vessel, and when open, would not beneath the partial shelter of the overhanging hull, meaning that these parts were not protected from rain.": please check this; it seems like there's something missing after "would not".
 * 6) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Please vary "located".
 * 8) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "This fooled Slyssk into making a life-debt to him, declaring the Snivvian to be his Ghrakhowsk, the Trandoshan term for person to whom a life-debt was being pledged, the to pay him." Please check this sentence, particularly the last part.
 * 10) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***"This fooled Slyssk into making a life-debt to him; declaring the Snivvian to be his Ghrakhowsk, the Trandoshan term for the person to whom a life-debt was being pledged." Your semicolon usage is improper here, and it disrupts the sentence flow. Please either replace it with what it was before or rephrase it.  CC7567  (talk) 17:49, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Sorry, fixed. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:40, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * "They were ordered to merge into formation for a hyperspace jump bound for Serroco": who's "they"? The previous sentences brings up more subjects that could serve as the subject of this sentence. Please clarify.
 * 14) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Overall, I'm noticing a distinct underusage of commas. Please go through the article again and make sure that none of the sentences are run-ons, because that's what the lack of commas are causing.
 * 16) **I noticed that it was a case of too many commas in some places and none where they were needed. I've fixed them and a disjointed sentence or two. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I'll continue with "Camp Three" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 05:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * The first sentence of "Destruction" does not make sentence. Please check it and clarify.
 * 19) **Reworded Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * The "Owners and operators" is placing a lot on what is "known" and "unknown," but this is improper wording for IU articles. Please only state what's known and write it from a more general point of view.
 * 21) **Reworded Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Despite the Little Bivoli's destruction at the Battle of Serroco, Hierogryph and Slyssk managed to escape and were reunited with Carrick soon thereafter." Is this absolutely necessary in the Bts? It should be in the History, if anything, because in the Bts it's simple and unneeded trivia.  CC7567  (talk) 00:39, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Moved to history. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *Thanks for the reviews CC. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mission to Rodia

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 22:20, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part one of Capture of the Wealthworm. (Not a CloneProject, cuz this time there are others involved. :P) But by far, not my favorite when there's so much more interesting stuff out there.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 15:04, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Redlink in the intro.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:49, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Ugh. Taken care of.  CC7567  (talk) 01:39, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Fett
 * 4) * "Binks discovered the Jedi robe belonging to the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Amidala's secret husband, in a chamber of the yacht." While it was Anakin's cloak, It wasn't mentioned in "Bombad Jedi". Possibly reword to say "a Jedi Robe, that belonged to Anakin Skywalker".
 * 5) **It was defined in the Decoded episode, hence why it is referenced as so. I see no reason for rewording.  CC7567  (talk) 07:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Oh okay, the latter is sourced to just "Bomdbad Jedi" rather than the decoded episode.
 * 7) * I see some minor pbp within the paragraphs of The "Bombad Jedi" section.
 * 8) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 07:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Excellent work CC. I do like the section title The "Bombad Jedi" :P  JangFett  Talk 03:46, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 11) * "Binks, however, discovered that he was standing on a Kwazel Maw&hellip;" Did he land on it? If so, "discovered that he had landed on" would follow on better from him falling into the water.
 * 12) * "Back in the detention tower, Amidala tricked her battle droid guards into believing that the Jedi was rescuing her." The Jedi? Is that supposed to be Binks (she doesn't learn he's been mistaken for a Jedi until the next paragraph) or was she just making one up? Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Both addressed; hopefully the second one has been clarified. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 07:45, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Check the BTS of the Bombad Jedi. The fact that Quinlan Vos was at some point going to present during those events should be mentioned in BTS.  Mauser  Comlink 23:10, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Bah...forgot that. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 00:06, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm not striking it since it wasn't a formal objection to begin with. :)  Mauser  Comlink 00:28, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Qu Rahn
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:03, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: Part 2 of QuiGon Project: Dark Forces

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:19, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:52, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 19:10, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:37, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:36, 1 July 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 15:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) I've been waiting for this for a long time (Farlstendoiro)
 * 2) * Early life, 3rd paragraph, has a link to Emperor Palpatine. I suggest two links instead, Emperor Palpatine.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Vader killed all the Jedi at the location—except for Rahn himself. Do we know why he did not kill Rahn? If so, I think it should be explained.
 * 5) **The source does not specify how he survived. Actually, it does not state that Rahn was the only survivor either, so I reworded it.
 * 6) * Please add some context about Yoda surviving Order 66, exiling in Dagobah and -more important- why Rahn knows about Yoda's position.
 * 7) **Addressed. Again, the source does not specify how Rahn learned about Yoda's exile.
 * 8) * After his meeting with Yoda, Rahn became determined to find the Valley of the Jedi in order to free the spirits trapped there so they could join the Force, thus preventing any possibility of the valley's power being used for evil. "Thus preventing" suggests (at least to me) that Rahn, merely by becoming determined, prevented that possibility. I suggest rewording.
 * 9) **Reworded.
 * 10) * Ultimately, Jerec caught wind of Rahn's search. Hoping to find the valley in order to obtain its power, he initiated his own search. I know "he" refers to Jerec, but it might refer to either Jerec or Rahn. Change for "The Inquisitor" or something?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * I seem to remember that, when Rahn met Morgan Katarn, the former found some connection between his new friend's surname and the clan Rahn had studied at; Rahn gave some importance to that, believing it was a signal from the Force. I don't remember the source. Do you know something about this?
 * 13) **The only mention of the Katarn clan comes from The Dark Forces Saga. The similarity between the clan's name and Morgan's surname is noted there, but there is no indication that Rahn gave it some importance. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * I also seem to remember that, when Rahn attacked the Dark Side Elite, the officers in the bridge rushed to help the Elite; Jerec, however, ordered them not to, as fighting a real Jedi could be a good exercise for the Elite. Again, I can't remember which adaptation of Dark Forces II it was.
 * 2) **I'm aware of this, it's from the Rebel Agent novel. However, I fail to see how this can be relevant to Rahn's article. It only shows how Jerec treated his underlings, something that IMO has no direct relation to Rahn. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***I was thinking it could mean that Jerec respected Rahn or Rahn's prowess to an extent - but never mind.
 * 2) ****Well, it doesn't really show Jerec's respect. Jerec just says: The practice will do them good, and I think that's all that he meant. Not a specific practice with Rahn, but practice against Jedi in general. Just to let you know. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Rahn answered that "that" was entirely up to him. Can you reword that that "that"?
 * 2) **Dunno how to reword it. Changed to italics, like in Yun's article. It worked fine there...
 * 3) * Rahn almost hoped that Jerec would find him, so he could exact justice on the Miraluka. This is the first mention to Jerec being a Miraluka, which is a not-so-known species. Could you add "the Miraluka Inquisitor", "the Miraluka Dark Jedi" or something? Just to remove any ambiguity.
 * 4) **Changed "the Miraluka" to "the Inquisitor". This way, there won't be any ambiguity for sure.
 * 5) * "Telekinesis" is not written with a capital letter.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * A mention to Socorran (language) redirects to Socorro (planet). Correct it.
 * 8) **Fixed.
 * 9) ***Just corrected a typo myself, hope you don't mind.
 * 10) * The BtS could use an image of the "Dark Rahn", if available.
 * 11) **Added. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *That all. Seriously, I had this article in my watchlist and was eager to see it nominated ;) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:42, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thanks for your review. Sorry for keeping you waiting. I started working on it a while ago, but then I was a little busy, and then I was a little bored. Now that I'm back to writing, stay tuned for Gorc and Maw, and eventually to the rest of Seven Dark Jedi )) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **Proccessed what you've done; some objections still pending. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 18:10, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Priestly duties
 * 3) * "a powerful Force nexus which contained numerous Jedi souls" &mdash; can we add that they were trapped souls?
 * 4) **We can :P
 * 5) * "Rahn instructed to pass the information about the Valley to Morgan's son, Kyle." &mdash; you're missing something after "instructed".
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * "in order to obtain its power" - obtain doen't read like the right choice here; that sounds like a sceptre of Ragnos style power appropriation. Maybe "harness" would work better. Thoughts?
 * 8) **"Harness" is OK.
 * 9) * Context in the main body on the Separatist Crisis please.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "Although Rahn was baffled by both the new knowledge and the weapon Yoda gave him, Rahn accepted it and vowed to protect the lightsaber as it would him." - It's unclear whether you want "it" to refer to the lightsaber or to Yoda's actions. This doesn't read very well and I'm not sure if it's grammatically correct, so please have a go at rewording it.
 * 12) **Reworded it a bit.
 * 13) * "Rahn arrived on Sulon and stood at Katarn's farm for some time. From Katarn, Rahn learned that the valley did in fact exist." - so he's standing at the farm doing what? Talking to Katarn? Or just musing? Please clarify.
 * 14) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 15) * "Yoda had once told him that if one should choose the dark side, it would forever dominate his destiny" -- you use "one" and then link it to "his", but one is neuter. Can you re-word this so this mistake is excised?
 * 16) **Reworded.
 * 17) * "Rahn appeared to Katarn as a voice" Hmmmm. Not sure about appearing to someone as a voice. Please reword.
 * 18) **Reworded.
 * 19) * "After that, Qu Rahn was not seen or heard contacting Katarn." - the death of Jerec, the liberation of the spirits, events on Ruusan as a whole? Please clarify.
 * 20) **I guess "the events on Ruusan" encompasses all of the above, so I'll just stick to it.
 * 21) * In the powers and abilities section you use "being able" twice in succession. Please reword one of these.
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) *A couple of repeated mistakes. Split infinitives "to even touch" are not really the done thing/ You also used the definite article several times when it was unnecessary to do so and you need to make sure that your antecedents are clear with complex sentence structures. There was also a little too much underlinking for my liking &mdash; Jedi training, death, space, Force vision, sai tok, and the occasional missing word. But above all this was a great read from what were conflicting sources and is a decent biography of a really interesting character. Well done and keep up the great Dark Forces work! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:31, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks for your review. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:44, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) Clone attack
 * 26) * "In 3 ABY, Yoda was visited on Dagobah by the famous Rebel hero and Anakin Skywalker's son, Luke Skywalker, who sought training in the ways of the Jedi. Yoda agreed to teach him, and during Skywalker's training, Yoda spoke of Rahn." Please clarify how this is relevant. If you believe it's necessary for the article, it needs to be rewritten so that it doesn't sound like a side fact or piece of trivia like it does now.
 * 27) **After trying to figure out how to make it less trivial and failing to do so, I decided to remove it altogether. Come to think of it, it was really more relevant to Yoda's or Luke's articles.
 * 28) * "with a sleeping gas": if it's "a" like how it is now, it's going to have to be linked or named.
 * 29) **Well, it was only identified as "sleep gas" in the source, but its effects are identical to those of the Coma gas, so I'd assume that they are the same.
 * 30) * "Rahn and his group tried to reach for the space suits": what space suits? There weren't any mentioned before, yet you say "the".
 * 31) **Fixed.
 * 32) * "it was the vision that led him to Morgan Katarn": again, what vision? You haven't mentioned it before in the P&A.
 * 33) **Fixed.
 * 34) *Please watch linking. Also, please watch your paragraph size; having paragraphs ranging from one to two to six semi-related sentences in size isn't very consistent.  CC7567  (talk) 03:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **Thanks for review CC. I'll try to pay more attention to linking and paragraph size in the future. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:09, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:05, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Couldn't find any source for the 55 BBY birthdate. If someone knows it, please tell me. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Stuff like "lackeys" and "minions" stray close to POV. I've removed them and re-worded them to "Dark Jedi", "followers" etc. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:31, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Rescue on the Tranquility

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally, something actually interesting. Third to Capture of the Wealthworm.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 15:02, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Small thing: you attribute the first "Operation" quote to a navigation officer, howeve Gree refers to him as the Captain in the episode. You also later simply call him a naval officer.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:22, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well, according to the TCWCG, he's definitely a naval officer; that's all I'm sure of. I'll correct it for consistency and reference it properly, but I didn't want to call him a captain because he's even called a commander (if he's the same guy) later in the episode. The only thing that's certain is that he's a naval officer, per the TCWCG.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Ah, I see. So long as he's not called a navigation officer.
 * 4) Minor repairing
 * 5) * It was during the rescue that Argyus was killed, even if they weren't in the battle ground anymore. It should be marked to info box.
 * 6) **He did not die during the rescue. He died during the escape, and that was not part of the battle. The "rescue" ended when Gunray and Argyus fled the Tranquility, as you'll see in the Aftermath section.
 * 7) ***Well, I crossed that objection, but from my point of view the escape is still counted to be a part of a rescue, and Argyus was killed during it.
 * 8) * Wouldn't it be better "all B2 super battle droids" than just "B2 super battle droids" in casualties?
 * 9) **The statement "the enemy has been repelled" does not mean that all of the B2 super battle droids were destroyed; "repelled" means that they were driven off. I have yet to see a source that explicitly states that all of them were destroyed.
 * 10) * Argyus used Gunray as a living shield. What prevented Gree to shoot, as Gunray was in enemy side? Clarify.
 * 11) **Added.  CC7567  (talk) 18:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *Otherwise wonderful job.--Kreivi Wolter 13:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) Lets get this thing moving
 * 14) * In the infobox, "1 Dark Acolyte" is not sourced. Also, for "Viceroy", possibly add "1 Neimoidian viceroy" to specify.
 * 15) **Addressed the former, see no reason to change the latter.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Tano remained with Captain Argyus to protect Gunray from the possibility of attack, while Unduli and CC-1004 went to assist the clone troopers in repelling the droids." Possibility of attack from whom? While I don't think Unduli told Tano told remain with Gunray due to an a possible attack, but to guard Gunray.
 * 17) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * I see paragraphs within "Confrontation on the detention level" get too pbp.
 * 19) * Same with "Duel in the engine room"
 * 20) * Same with "Betrayal and escape"
 * 21) **All addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Ventress deactivated the laser gate of Gunray's cell, and as Tano arrived and slashed at the viceroy, Ventress kicked the Padawan into the detention block." I don't recall seeing Tano slashing at Gunray prior to being kicked inside the cell by Ventress. By rewatching the episode, Tano ran with her lightsaber but stopped her advance near Gunray and Ventress. Also, it is not "detention block" but "detention cell". Block is the entire area.
 * 23) **She did not stop her advance, and I don't see the basis behind your reasoning. The other has been fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***It appeared that she did. She froze before being kicked into the cell by Ventress. But, I'll go head and strike this out since my reasoning might be a viewers-poi/speculation.
 * 25) * "As CC-1004 confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic, the captain bent down to grab the clone's fallen blaster." I believe you meant "commented", as opposed to "confronted". If not, this sentence is rather confusing by saying "he confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic."
 * 26) **"Confront" is not always defined as a physical action; it can be a verbal one. If Gree was only "commenting" on it, he wouldn't be asking Argyus why he did what he did.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "The Confederate Head of State planted the Republic tracking beacon in Grievous's own lair on Vassek in order to lure Fisto and his former Padawan, Nadhar Vebb, to the planet." Due to LoG decoded, Grievous' lair is on the "Third moon of Vassek".
 * 28) **Next time, if you know this yourself, go ahead and fix it yourself. This is a simple objection.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Once the Jedi were in place, Grievous would be able to hunt them for sport and display his capabilities as a Jedi hunter." Do you think this is relevant to mention?
 * 30) **It goes with the "reassessment" that is otherwise unclear.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *Overall, great work CC. :)  JangFett  Talk 03:20, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I know that the FAN is still lagging right now, but I don't mind waiting.  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Not a formal objection, but my concerns about the article title still stand. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:03, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, if I get more time to think about it, perhaps I'll move it, but as for now I think it's fine; it's going to be conjecturally titled either way.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "Skirmish" still sounds cooler (:P), but it's been moved to "Rescue on the Tranquility".  CC7567  (talk) 20:54, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Tranquility

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:05, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gotta keep up with CC :P

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Please watch linking, though.  CC7567  (talk) 04:04, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * Are you sure the Tranquility was the one that arrived over Rodia during "Bombad Jedi"? I know that there's some information to suggest that it was, but neither the episode nor its online guide confirmed it. If another source states that it was, please reference it.
 * 3) **I'm not seeing where I indicated that.
 * 4) ***Bah; sorry, I must have misread it.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * If the Tranquility was the one that appeared during "Bombad Jedi", please try to shorten the intro. It's debatable whether or not Amidala and Binks even require a mention here, but there's simply too much context for Gunray. If it needs to be stated that Gunray was "fighting against the Republic", state it in the body; it's already heavily implied if he was captured by Republic forces.
 * 6) **Took out the Council context.
 * 7) * "The ventilation shafts were utilized by Asajj Ventress to travel from the flight deck to the engine room, and from there to the detention level." Ventress is going to need context here if you're going to mention her so early; unless there's a reason for it, I would suggest removing this and mentioning it chronologically when she actually uses the shafts.
 * 8) **Removed.
 * 9) * "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars." Yes, this is part of its history, but it should have (at least) also been mentioned in the "Characteristics" section. Also, please watch overlinking.
 * 10) **The fact that it's a Venator in the Republic navy is already in the characteristics. If I were to explicitly restate that "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars.", it would be extremely unneccessary and repetitive, as that information is already in the intro and history.
 * 11) ***Fair enough.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "The boarding ship's pincers pierced the Tranquility ' s hull, and inserted into the roof of the dorsal flight deck." This is redundant; you've already said that the Droches slammed into the Star Destroyer's hull. Also, please check the last part of the sentence; it's not flowing well.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * In the third paragraph of "Prisoner transport", please try to vary "while".
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) *I'll continue this with you later when I have more time, but I'll leave you with these for now.  CC7567  (talk) 23:28, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Alright. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:34, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Nahdar Vebb

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:04, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Why couldn't they just call him Bant?

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Nice to see this guy in better shape.  CC7567  (talk) 03:19, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Kreivi Wolter 04:34, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Very nice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:53, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Should the " "Newsreel" only " be changed to "appears in flashback" ?--Kreivi Wolter 13:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * He can't appear in a "flashback" if he hasn't already appeared.  CC7567  (talk) 21:47, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Good point.--Kreivi Wolter 04:37, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, to appear in a "newsreel," the event would already have to have taken place, just as in a flashback, and the raid on Greivous's lair has to have taken place after Rookies because of his appearance in it anyway so technically hee did "appear" before the "reel" was posted. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:57, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * The "newsreel" is OOU and does not necessarily mean that the event already happened, whereas a flashback is IU and would have to mean that the event happened before the flashback. Unless you have a better solution in mind, I can't see the point of continuing discussion over something like this.  CC7567  (talk) 23:05, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Endar Spire

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  09:05, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've got a feeling that won't be our last battle with the Sith.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Mission to the third moon of Vassek

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 08:03, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Conclusion of Capture of the Wealthworm, but the article's awkwardly long name is attributed to the pursuit for "factual correctness".

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Good work.--Kreivi Wolter 18:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:40, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) When is Nahdar refered to as a general?  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:06, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Ugh, this debate again. I'll just remove it to stop assuming.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Not really a matter of debate. More a matter of accuracy, as he has never been referred to as such, and not every Knight and master became a general. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:00, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Apparently, Path of the Jedi depicts another version of the mission, which involves Skywalker, Tano or Yoda being sent to Vassek to assisst Fisto. While obviously non-canon since it contradicts the episode, you may want to add the game's storyline to the Bts.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:45, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, didn't like that game, but addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 21:20, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Couldn't the article's title be changed to something like "Mission to Vassek's third moon", or something?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:20, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * It could, yes.  CC7567  (talk) 17:22, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * I guess I'll bring up the issue on the article's talk page.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:56, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * If it honestly matters that much to you, then I'll change it, but changing the article's name is not worth a poll.  CC7567  (talk) 22:12, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Ben Skywalker

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 19:42, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes! We are victorious! Huzzzzaaahhhh!

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) My favorite character. Great job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:23, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Not the biggest fan of that profile image, but the prose is excellent and the article itself is of high caliber.  The Flash  {talk} 00:11, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) * "As both of his parents were Jedi spend time with him as they fought in the war..." Is this supposed to be "they were unable to spend time..."  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:22, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Wow. My bad. Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 22:27, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Why is the Jedi Council meddling with FAN?!?
 * 5) * Intro: "Solo had just returned to the New Jedi Order after a five-year journey to learn more about the Force, was able to help Skywalker open himself up to the Force gradually, although Skywalker was still apprehensive about it for a while, and it would take him years to become fully adjusted to the Force." A bit of a run-on; please break it up.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * Intro: Three consecutive paragraphs begin "In XX ABY,"; can you change a couple of them?
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * Intro: "Eventually Caedus was killed in the Battle of Shedu Maad,": The actual duel in which he was killed has its own article, so is there a reason you linked to and named the battle instead?
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * Intro: In the first sentence of the fourth paragraph, you should link to Luke's actual court case, though I'm not sure where to place it.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * 1.1 Pre-birth: "The Skywalkers were on the Coruscant beach": Context on the beach, please. A lot of people would be a bit shocked to find out that Coruscant has a beach somewhere in all of that durasteel; I know I was when I first read about it in Rebirth.
 * 14) * 1.3.1 Dark Nest Crisis > A new threat: "As Rar and Gorog sped away from Ossus in a stolen skiff, Ben received a final message from the Killik, who said that she wanted Ben to be happy. When he told Luke of Gorog's message," Until now, you've called her "the Gorog". Now you suddenly switch to simply calling her Gorog, as if that is her actual name like Luke, Ben, Leia, etc. Is there a reason for this?
 * 15) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:42, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *I'll continue with "Second Galactic Civil War" in a day or two. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:31, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) From the Council Chambers: (part 2)
 * 18) * 1.4.2 Second Galactic Civil War > Operation Roundabout: In the second paragraph, it might be a good idea to mention Ben's repeated failures in the simulation and Jacen's resulting doubt as to whether Ben should go on the mission (that is, if I remember the events of Betrayal correctly). This would also help bring that paragraph in line with the surrounding paragraphs as far as size, though that itself is not a major issue.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * 1.4.2: In the fourth paragraph, you start three out of four consecutive sentences with "However"; can you change a couple?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * 1.4.6 Civil unrest: "Skywalker was at Solo's apartment at the time and was unharmed.": Is there a reason for having this sentence? It seems unnecessary to me.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * 1.4.7 The Galactic Alliance Guard: "Shevu eventually entered the interrogation chamber with Girdun as Skywalker looked on and tried to heal Habuur, but to no avail": Unclear as to whether Shevu or Skywalker was the one who tried to heal Habuur.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * 1.4.7: "It pointed to a nearby apartment building, which Skywalker and the GAG squad forcibly entered. They met resistance, forcing Skywalker to kill the two men inside." "Forcibly" and "forcing" are a bit repetitive since they have the same root word.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * 1.4.10 Ziost: "Skywalker checked all of the objects on his belt for a tracking device and found it inside his belt pouch. Skywalker checked the skies for the TIE fighter and saw it speeding toward them." Two straight sentences start with the same two words; can you change one?
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * 1.4.12 Loss of a parent: "He went to the GAG compound and took a speeder, following Lumiya and the Sith ship. He followed it into Hapan space," A "speeder" is purely an atmospheric vehicle, so how did he travel through space?
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * 1.4.13 Change of heart: "He defeated the CSF security detail guarding Omas and afterward had a brief engagement with a security droid but ended up staring down the barrel of Omas' blaster pistol, although Skywalker swiftly disarmed him." A bit of a run-on; please break it into two sentences.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * 1.4.17 Final victory: The quote contains an error: "you're no better suited to be Sith apprentice" should be "you're no better suited to be a Sith apprentice". If this error is also in Invincible (which I don't have to check), then it deserves a [sic], otherwise it needs corrected.
 * 35) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:42, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *I'll complete the review, beginning with "Travels with his father", by the end of the week. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 00:40, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) From the Council Chambers: (round 3)
 * 38) * 1.5 Travels with his father: Mention should be made at the beginning of this section or and the end of the previous section of Ben's promotion to Knight.
 * 39) * 1.5.1 Travels > The Baran Do: You have exactly one subheading under this heading&mdash;"The Hidden Ones". One thing I was taught in high school English class is that a point in an outline should never have only a single sub-point. While it doesn't technically apply directly to subheadings in an article, the MediaWiki software automatically converts the headings into the TOC, which is basically an outline. This is clearly nitpicking a little, but I'd like to see either the single sub-heading removed or see a second sub-heading added immediately below "The Baran Do", whichever you feel would be better.
 * 40) * 1.5.1: "Ziil stated that he would tell those on the surface that his earlier message about the Skywalkers' deaths was a mistake, and he promised to free his servants and appoint a board of advisers, and in a couple of years they would reassess the situation.": "And" is repetitive here.
 * 41) * 1.5.2 The Aing-Tii: "Tadar'Ro took them to a house created for Jorj Car'das, a former smuggler who had once stayed with the Aing-Tii, where they were to stay while learning with the Aing-Tii.": "Stay" is repetitive here.
 * 42) * BTS: I'd like to see the BTS expanded a bit. Though individual appearances are probably too numerous to list in full, you should at least mention the series that he appeared in (NJO, Dark Nest, LOTF and FOTJ) and what kind of role he played in each (i.e. minor/major).
 * 43) *Last note, though not a objection: Some newbie added something to the BTS about Timothy Zahn the other day. The source provided gives the information about two-thirds of the way down. It's your call on what you want to do with it. Great job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 17:43, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) The Flash
 * 45) * Refs 30, 31, and 32 are bare URLs - please fix them
 * 46) **Why would that be a problem.
 * 47) ***Look kind of out of place, sort of jumbled. Just a suggestion.  The Flash  {talk} 02:45, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) ****I apologize, but I'm hopeless with sourcing. I don't know how to pretty them up. :P  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:57, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *****I've fixed them for you, Floyd. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 08:55, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) *******Great :D  The Flash  {talk} 00:11, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * BTS - needs more refs, just general ones to the books they mention
 * 52) **Those are really self-referencing, and don't require ref tags.
 * 53) ***Alright.  The Flash  {talk} 02:45, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Also in BTS, is The Lost Lightsaber confirmed to be non-canon? Tales are generally ambig for those set of issues and would better put in the actual history with an ambig tag.
 * 55) **Tales 1-20 is generally used as non-canon.
 * 56) * I agree with Darth Trayus's comment below - it might be best to put a more time-fitting image of Luke in the "Duel" section.
 * 57) **Addressed.
 * 58) *This article is in really good shape, actually, and I'd be very happy with it if those points were met - nice work.  The Flash  {talk} 23:48, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) Blacklist:
 * 60) *I'm only through the intro, at which point I will be stopping for now, and I've already encountered a profuse amount of underlinking. I've taken care of what I've read thus far, but you will need to comb through the article in its entirety and make sure that everything that needs to be linked is linked, and only once.
 * 61) *You also make no mention of his homeworld being Coruscant in the intro despite it being shown in the infobox. Please work this in somewhere.
 * 62) **Addressed.
 * 63) *The intro's also going to need an Abyss update.
 * 64) **Addressed.
 * 65) *So is the article, and when you're done with that, a   tag is going to be necessary.
 * 66) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:22, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *I'm oh-so-positive that more will follow these&hellip; —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 00:19, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Harrar
 * 69) *Your Pre-birth section has some issues, Floyd. You need to re-read Edge of Victory II: Rebirth, specifically pages 195-197 (Ch. 29) and pages 270-273 (Ch. 43), the latter of which deal with Luke's attempt to attack the disease with the dark side and then his series of visions. There's also a bit more info in the Epilogue, pages 290 onwards, which has some relevance in that the Skywalkers are allowed to return to Coruscant. I think all these sections have pertinence (the idea that Cilghal could induce labour but it would probably have killed both of them is interesting (page 195ish)) and that a reasonable chunk of info is missing. If for any reason you can't access the book, I can add the stuff.
 * 70) *There's no info about the Nanny droid in the Coruscant section; I'd like to see some weight added to the Byrt section as well, in that C-3PO is hiding with Ben and his crying is alerting Shesh, whereupon he puts Ben in the locker and then mimics him. The section could also do with re-arrangement so it's not weighted so heavily toward Shesh's viewpoint.
 * 71) *"After the fall of Coruscant, the infant Skywalker was kept for several days in a Jedi stronghold called Eclipse Station, hidden on the Deep Core planet of the same name." -- this can't be right as Eclipse is destroyed in Star by Star.
 * 72) *"During the Borleias occupation, Ben accompanied his mother everywhere she went, something that Luke Skywalker saw as irrational." -- this reads as though Ben is walking around with Mara and that Luke views Ben's behaviour as irrational. Please re-word and take care to tend towards the passive when discussing Ben at this age; he's basically an object, after all.
 * 73) *That's it for now; I'll continue with the Dark Nest stuff later. Well done for writing him! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:45, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Heads-up; readded the Databank link for you, it seems to have gotten (accidentally) removed during the article's transition.  Firebird  [[File:Moltresheadsig.PNG]] heart's eye 12:49, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Is there a reason you use such an outdated image of Luke in the "Duel at the Temple" section? He looks younger than Jacen does in the "Regaining his connection to the Force" section. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:18, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Quick note: Abyss update will commence soon, when I have sufficient time.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 14:35, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Great job updating for Abyss. The "Sinkhole Station" section could use an image, to fit with the two previous sections --- I'd recommend using the image of Vestara. Menkooroo 05:07, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Calo Nord

 * Nominated by:Jedi Kasra (talk)
 * Nomination comments: Might as well nom this, too...

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) LordDeathRay  (My Sith Holocron)  01:27, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Pre-nom reviewed. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 14:16, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Great article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:04, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * Context on the Mando Wars and the Jedi Civil War
 * 3) **I took out the Mandalorian Wars part, so far there is no record of his being active during that time, just the Jedi Civil War. Can't just assume that he was without any proof. Context for the JCW and Revan and Malak is there.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "On his sixteenth birthday, he killed his slave masters, and then tracked down and murdered his mother and father, who had sold him into slavery when he was a boy." Triple "and." (partially my fault, sorry :P)
 * 5) **Took care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "amnesiac former Sith Lord Revan" This either needs context or needs to be changed to something like "a Galactic Republic soldier." Revan was not Revan at this point, when his mind was changed, he became a different person and, at this point in continuity, his past as a Sith Lord is irrelevant.
 * 7) **True, but the context about his former life is relevant, since it establishes why Malak would send both Nord and Bandon after him and Shan.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Good point.
 * 9) * "he butchered his slave masters" I know this is nitpicky but does the Prima Guide specifically say "butchered."
 * 10) **After reading the Databank entry, I see that it confirms this. The statement should be sourced to there if it does not appear in the Prima guide.
 * 11) ***Yes, it does. I got it from the guide.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "After watching Nord kill three Black Vulkars for disturbing him" I don't remember, were the three specified as Vulkars?
 * 13) **If Revan converses immediately after Nord kills the thugs, Revan says "I saw how you mopped up those Vulkars"&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Nord and Kang&mdash;who themselves tried to make it to the ship&mdash;caught Revan and his companions trying to steal the ship." Double "and"
 * 15) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***There's nothing particularly wrong with using two ands in one sentence like that. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:01, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ****I know. Grammatically it was fine but it still read a bit off. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:56, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *"Kang perished in the fighting and Revan, Shan, and Onasi boarded the Ebon Hawk, picked up the rest of their companions, and fled Taris." Double "and"
 * 19) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * "When Nord had sufficiently recovered, he had a private audience with Darth Malak aboard the Leviathan and, along with Admiral Karath, told the Sith Lord that Shan had escaped Taris' destruction with the help of Onasi." "Along with Admiral Karath is awkward here. Is there a source that states Nord informed him of Revan being alive here? Also, I don't think Calo and Karath told Malak this together.
 * 21) **Took care of "along with", Karath had all the other soldiers leave the bridge before they told Malak. "Lord Malak, forgive me. There is something else. May we have a private audience away from the ears of the common soldiers? "I trust you are not wasting my time, Admiral Karath." "I promise you will be very interested in what Calo has to tell you about Bastila's other companions, Lord Malak".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Nord then set out to find Revan and his companions. After Taris' destruction, Revan had become a Padawan to be retrained in the Jedi ways at the Jedi Enclave" "Retrained" is odd here because it hasn't been made clear that Revan forgot his training, didn't finish training, or that he was trained by Jedi at all before this. Reword.
 * 23) **I believe the context had been established.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "When Revan asked Nord if they could work out a deal so as to avoid fighting, Nord told him that he was not in it for the credits; rather, he had a reputation to protect." I'm not sure that you can say that he chose a certain conversation option in the body of the article (unless its the only option, of course).
 * 25) **The other dialogue options are aggressive, and un-Jedi like, which I thought went against Wookiepedia policy of 100% light-side choices unless otherwise stated by another source. These are the other options: "You traveled a long way just to die, Calo!" and, "You think I got lucky last time? Okay, let's do it again!".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***OK.
 * 27) * "With that, Nord attacked Revan, but he and his minions were killed by the redeemed Jedi and his companions" Another mention of his time as a Sith Lord, nothing has been mentioned of anything Revan did that would need penance.
 * 28) **Context has been established.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Shortly after Nord's death, Admiral Karath informed Darth Malak of Nord's failure. Malak told Karath that the penalty for failure was death, but that the failure was Nord's." This is slightly confusing. Why would Malak have to tell Karath that the failure was Nord's?
 * 30) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * In the P&T, when talking about how he knows Basic, I think you could also say that he could comprehend the language(s) of those three aliens who confronted him in the bar.
 * 32) * "used a prototype energy shield of Verpine design for extra protection during battle." A link to the specific energy shield would be beneficial if it is stated. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:25, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Wasn't Carth a captain, not a commander? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:47, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **The Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide lists him as having been a commander during the Jedi Civil War, as this is the latest canon, it's what we have to go by.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:31, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***Ah. OK. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:56, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) Naru, Part Deux
 * 38) * "However, Nord was caught under falling debris from the hangar, allowing the group to kill Kang" Wasn't Kang already dead?
 * 39) **Yes, he was, thanks for pointing this out. Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:02, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * Also, there should probably be a mention of how the events in the hanger differ if Revan brought a sword or a blaster.
 * 41) **Huh?
 * 42) ***The scene plays out a bit differently depending on whether Revan brought a blaster or a sword into the hanger when he fights Nord and Kang. I don't remember if the change had anything specificly to do with how Calo reacted but its something to look into for a Bts note. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:42, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ****I just played it three times over with all three armed with blasters, then swords, and then fists and got exactly the same dialogue every time. Then out of curiosity, I checked the dialogue file itself (tar08_davik082.dlg) and there are no alternate dialogue paths. I honestly don't know where you got this idea. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 04:50, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *****Quite odd. I remember playing a difference and then reading it again later but I dunno. It probably wasn't important anyway. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:06, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * "During his time as a slave, he learned to be ruthless and cold-hearted, so when he turned sixteen years of age, he butchered his slave masters and then murdered his parents." That he tracked down and killed his parents is only in the intro. Also a double "and"
 * 46) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *"Aboard his flagship Leviathan, Darth Malak came to the conclusion that the search for Shan was taking too long and ordered the Sith Admiral Saul Karath to have the Sith fleet destroy Taris in order to kill the Jedi. After Revan and his companions disabled the hangar bay's security systems in Kang's estate, they attempted to make it to the Ebon Hawk." It sortof jumps here from the order to their escape. Why are they trying to leave the planet? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:27, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) **Taken care of. Context provided in second paragraph.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *** Escape from what? The Sith? Why would they need the Ebon Hawk specifically? There should be a small mention that it possessed the codes neccisary to bypass the Sith blockade somewhere. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:42, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) ****Please take a look at the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:10, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is not a formal objection because I don't really believe in image objections except in the most extreme circumstances, but do you think it could use more screenshots from KOTOR? Actual live-action shots from the game feel underrepresented somehow. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:29, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * You make a good point, but seeing as I don't know how to upload images from the game, I'm kinda in a bind. Maybe one of the other users could help? Plus, the live-action pics would have to not include Revan.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:13, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Full credit goes to Nayayen for uploading this image for the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:16, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * OK, in lieu of this, full credit goes to Nayayen for this image.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:34, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Hey, Naru, I'm waiting for the results of this before I do more worl with the nom. I'll get the objections taken care of as soon as I can, though.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:05, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Alright. Good luck with it. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:18, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I found this link on Nord's talk page. It states that this dude named Max Raphael voiced Nord. I was wondering if it's legit.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:27, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * I did some digging around and the only vague source is from IMDB saying that Max Raphael did "Additional voices". He is the narrator for the History channel's "Modern Marvels" and they certainly sound the same but I can't find anything saying explicitly that he did voice Nord. Apparently he is actually known as Lloyd Sherr, but that yields nothing more. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:40, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Oh, well. Thanks, Nayayen.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:20, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Gorc
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 07:24, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: It is time for this stupid guy to join his FA brother...

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) I know how it feels when brother is better than you : ) --Kreivi Wolter 20:31, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Please watch your linking.  CC7567  (talk) 21:15, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Vindication

 * Nominated by:  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 04:29, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'd like to thank Tommy9281 for helping to walk me through the process for my first FAN

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Good job.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:30, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few, for you&hellip;
 * 2) * The infobox needs to be completely sourced.
 * 3) * I don't think whether or not Draay was a Jedi Guardian has any relevance to the commanders part of the infobox.
 * 4) * According to the KotOR Campaign Guide, these Covenant members were called "Covenanters". Try adding that.
 * 5) * You don't have to do put sources like this,, at every paragraph. Just do it as normal. The example should only be used for the infobox.
 * 6) * I would put Gryph's full surname in the article every time I mention him, not just "Gryph".
 * 7) * Unless the same paragraph mentions Krynda, calling Lucien "Draay" would bea good idea. Use the character's surnames, such as Carrick, throughout the article after you mention their full name for the first time.
 * 8) * If I'm not mistaken, the Jedi Council gave Carrick a new lightsaber. In #35, when he meets Jarael and Hierogryph after talking with the Council, he has this lightsaber.
 * 9) * The Citeweb template should be used for reference 13. Here's a list of the templates.
 * 10) *That's all I can think of, take care of these, and I'll run through the article again.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:40, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **I think I got them all  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 01:16, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Nayayen
 * 13) * There is some serious under-linking throughout. There should be links once in: the infobox, image captions, the intro & the rest of the article.
 * 14) ** Addressed
 * 15) ***You didn't really get most of it, I've got it for you though. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  09:38, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * In "Death of a visionary" there are some places that you need to check are NPOV.
 * 17) ** Addressed
 * 18) * In "Final confrontation" you need to mention that it was Lucien who "suddenly [threw them] far away" with the Force.
 * 19) ** Addressed
 * 20) * Bts: "Miller used this event to kill off . . . and send Zayne Carrick towards new adventures." This needs a source, JJM's blog should have what you need.
 * 21) ** Addressed
 * 22) * As does the paragraph mentioning ROTJ.
 * 23) ** Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 23:52, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *I'll have some more when I come back from my Wookieevacation. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:03, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **I'm on my own Wookieecation at the moment, I'll address it when I return on Sunday.
 * 26) *Alrighty, I promised some more so here we go:
 * 27) * Link to Showdown in the Draay Estate in last part of "History".
 * 28) ** Addressed
 * 29) * In "The Insurrection", add the fact that Haazen could control the Vanjervalis chain because the Draay Trust bought the company.
 * 30) ** I'm trying to find a way to do it without messing up the flow
 * 31) *** Addressed
 * 32) * Relate Xamar's death to the Rogue Moon prophesy; it came true for him.
 * 33) ** Addressed
 * 34) * There should be context on how the Gauntlet of Kressh worked; it forbid people to touch the wearer without their consent et cetera.
 * 35) ** Addressed
 * 36) * Last sentence of this section, I don't see a Force Push in the comic except when he pushed Hierogryph away.
 * 37) ** I meant that Zayne unleashed a Force push on Lucien, edited it to reflect that more
 * 38) ***You've clarified who it was but I still don't see it in the comic. Either Carrick doesn't Force push anyone or I'm missing a page from my copy (which has happened before). Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****Addressed
 * 40) * "Death of a Visionary" now. You must add that Zayne, initially the one to find Krynda, told Hierogryph to find her.
 * 41) ** Addressed
 * 42) * The two didn't arrive at the same time. Hierogryph noticed the Jedi guards and droids killed/destroyed by Q'Anilla when they wouldn't let her see him.
 * 43) ** Addressed
 * 44) ***You haven't mentioned the guards/droids being killed/destroyed. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ****I really don't think it's needed, and it really screws up the flow of the article.
 * 46) * "Hierogryph also recognized that..." This is the first time that you say he recognized something, reword this.
 * 47) ** Addressed
 * 48) * He realized that Krynda was probably alive because he recognized that the oubliette was like the oubliette on Jebble.
 * 49) ** Addressed
 * 50) * You should mention that it was Haazen's intervention of putting Krynda in the oubilette that meant she couldn't tell the First WatchCircle to stop on account of her vision of the Padawan Massacre.
 * 51) ** Addressed
 * 52) * In "Final Confrontation", "A sudden Force push knocked him off the balcony and near the foot of Barrison Draay's statue." Mention that Haazen was there already and what he was doing.
 * 53) ** Addressed
 * 54) * Surely File:SWKOTOR34.jpg or File:Lucienandzayne.jpg could be included somewhere around here, their duel is one of the main parts of the Vindication arc.
 * 55) ** Addressed
 * 56) * The duel part here seems a little too play-by-play for my liking. I mean, is the cloak slicing incident (cool as it looked in the comic) really needed in the article?
 * 57) ** Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 05:49, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) *That should be all of it, enjoy. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:21, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * One last one: make a note of how JJM saw this as the Covenant's Watergate affair. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  23:02, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ** Addressed

Comments
 * Am I the only one of the opinion that Showdown in the Draay Estate should be merged into Vindication? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:14, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Tommy and I have had this discussion a lot. As he's mostly taken over that particular article, I'll leave it up to him  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 00:31, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I see. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I would like to hear reasoning from both of you, PointGiven and Tommy, because as it stands, the only thing I can see that divides the two events is a code word.  CC7567  (talk) 04:37, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * My reason is that the events of Showdown in the Draay Estate were Zayne, Gryph and the Jedi Council's attempt to infiltrate and destroy the Covenant. Vindication on the other hand, is chiefly Haazen's power grab to create his own army. He just so happened to issue the command after the Jedi assault.  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 19:27, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * That's all a tad fuzzy to me. I'd like to see a more in depth and comprehensive explanation with some sort of backing quotes or whatever from the comic itself, cause from where I'm standing there's no actual distinction between this and the events of the Vindication article, and in my opinion there should be one article for the events and one for the codeword (which is, unless I'm missing somewhere, all "Vindication" is) which would be considerably smaller. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * My TPB isn't with me at the moment, but I will have an answer for you by next weekend  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 22:06, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * From the current articles, Showdown in the Draay Estate is the infiltration of the Draay estate by Carrick, Gryph & Xamar leading up to Haazen initiating the Vindication codeword. "Showdown" then leads into the Vindication article which is then the ensuing events of the codeword. "Showdown" is essentially issues 31 & 32 wheras "Vindication" is (the end of) issue 32 (initiating Vindication), (all of) 34 & 35. Issue 33 doesn't actually advance either; it is more a biography of Haazen. My opinion is that the current content of "Vindication" would be merged with "Showdown" and that "Vindication" would then be an article for the codeword. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * That's actually not a bad idea, which was the original intent of PG and myself. I'm for whatever course of action is ultimately decided. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:20, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm fine with that as well PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 05:49, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Zam Wesell

 * Nominated by: &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:30, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It has been a while. Plus, I thought the Inqery didn't have enough to do lately. I'm kidding, of course. Guest nom for WP:NEGTC.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) This is the kind of article I like to see featured. Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:48, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 04:22, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Okey, Farlstendoiro, change back to your real face
 * 2) * Intro: As she has not used so many different names, I strongly suggest to add the known ones in the intro: Zam Wesell, sometimes known as Marby Welcus
 * 3) **I would have, except that she only used that name on one occasion in canon. This is no different than the individual times she impersonated Holowan or Fernooda. The one occasion is a quick detail that is not needed in the intro. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Intro: It was then revealed that a seedy underworld general... It was revealed, or Wesell discovered?
 * 5) **Revealed to Wesell&mdash;although, implied that such was an accident. She did not actively seek to discover it. Clarified in the text. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Intro: capitol-world of Coruscant. I think you mean capital, not capitol but I'm not sure (Used twice)
 * 7) **Ah, good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *** Still one reference to "the galactic capitol" in "Conspiracy exposed and defeated"
 * 9) ****I am incredibly embarrassed that I even made this mistake in the first place. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Bio/Early life: The first paragraph has three successive refnotes for [10]. Only the last one is needed; you don't need to source three successive sentences if all of them have the same exact source. This explains my point better than I do.
 * 11) **Maybe I'm incorrect, but I was taught on this site that partial sentences (such as the first and last of the three) should be cited separately. If I'm wrong, I'll gladly change it; I just thought it was supposed to be that way. Removed anyway. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Bio/Early life: Third level mastery of the Mabari martial arts. Is that very high? Is it the highest level, the lowest level...?
 * 13) **Sorry, no source says. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Bio/Encounter on Oovo IV: At the same time, Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett was also in pursuit of Fust. Why? Was he pursuing the same reward? If so, it should be added.
 * 15) **Added. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * Bio/Mission to Malastare: Fett retorted, "You're lucky I don't kill you. I'm allowing you to tag along because you might be useful.". Not a real objection, but a suggestion: Maybe you could avoid directly quoting characters in the text? Again, later: "I've got a bounty to hunt." "Take care of yourself, Jango… until next time." "It was just a job."
 * 17) **Again, maybe I am wrong, but I see nothing incorrect with it. Removed one, however, because it did not flow well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Bio/Mission to Malastare: Context for Montross in his first mention, not two sentences later.
 * 19) **Good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Bio/Intrigue on Tatooine: She then provided information about the Hutts which had originally been provided by Watto Confusing: Watto provided that information to whom?
 * 21) **Clarified. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Bio/Conspiracy exposed and defeated: Fett was knocked off the walkway by a Wookiee. Suggestion: Consider adding some context specifying that it was not some Wookiee bystander but one of Khorda's minions. Suggestion: Add instead some words in the previous paragraph to specify that Khorda was not alone at the power relay.
 * 23) **Did both. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Bio/First assassination attempt: You have previously talked about, and linked, Tyranus; now you mention and link Dooku. Maybe you should do something, perhaps contextualize. Maybe simply "Dooku, a previous employer of Fett".
 * 25) **Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Bio/First assassination attempt: The explosive device, however, also had a flaw. A technical hitch in the triggering mechanism also allowed the Senator to escape. I don't understand the sentence: The Senator escaped because she was not there. Maybe you mean that the hitch would have allowed her to escape even if she was in the bomb's range?
 * 27) **Unfortunately, that is the problem with two slightly conflicting sources. The fact files do not expand other than what I've put and any closer to the original text would be plagiarism. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Bio/First assassination attempt: The droid R2-D2, which was scanning Which or who?
 * 29) **Which. It is not a living thing. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***If you say so...
 * 31) * Powers/Shape-shifting: For Clawdites, however, this process was extremely painful and it took great skill to achieve.[11] Wesell, however, developed skills in her shape-shifting and became highly skilled at self-alteration. You used word "however" twice in successive sentences. Consider a synonym.
 * 32) **Good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Powers/tactical skills: Yet, her most important skill was her shape-shifting ability Who says it was more important than other skills? NPOV?
 * 34) **That is cited directly to the Fact File. Off hand, I believe the exact wording is something like "most vital." &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Oh, evil Fact Files.
 * 36) * Equipment: Her obtaining the Koro-2 in a mining colony contrlled by the Mining Guild and a custom-made droid made by the Malkite Poisoners could be added to her biography.
 * 37) **Mentions made, although talking about the speeder does break up the flow substantially. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***Again a little fix and hope you don't mind.
 * 39) * Bts/Character development: Early drafts of the Episode Two scripts referred to Wesell as a "C.A.T.," a Corporate Alliance Trooper I strongly believe Corporate Alliance should be a link.
 * 40) **Done, but that does fall under . &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ***I thought about it myself, but decided against: It was too much assuming that you wouldn't mind such a change.
 * 42) * Bts: Theomet Danlé's background was created by "winstonvalleyjedi" through What's the Story?, heavily using Wessel. Maybe when you mention Danlé in BtS, you could add this detail.
 * 43) **Good find. Thank you. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * I've made some slight changes, removing repeated links and adding spaces and so under . Hope you don't mind. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:31, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **No problem at all. Thank you much. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Notice: One "capitol" pending. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:11, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****See above. Thanks again. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) Fett
 * 49) *Hey Fiolli, I'll begin with the first few sections of Zam's Early life.
 * 50) * "She was a member of the Clawdite species, who had become changelings due to genetic engineering gone awry centuries prior to her birth." For the "who had become changelings", specify who the "who" was.
 * 51) **Removed the comma because the who actually goes to the Clawdite species object rather than the subject. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Eventually, however, she was exposed." What was she exposed too?
 * 53) **Reworded. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Mission to Malastare-"At that moment, Wesell realized that Fett was working another, larger job and demanded that she be involved." Missing a word "and demanded that she be involved.". Also, while I did played Bounty Hunter, they conferred inside Fett's new ship. I'm not sure were they are in the article, quite confusing.
 * 55) **I honestly don't see anything missing. Plus, the first two sentences of that paragraph establish that they are in the ship. I changed a the to his, but it does establish the setting.
 * 56) ***I see.
 * 57) * I feel like I'm playing Bounty Hunter again while reading "Mission to Malastare". :) Perhaps lessen the pbp.
 * 58) **Rewrote the entire section. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * Mission to Malastare-"By nightfall, Fett still had not climbed the cliff." Merging this sentence with the previous will make it flow better.
 * 60) **See above. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * MtM-"Connecting statements by Montross about Komari Vosa to his pursuits of Sebolto, she surmised that he was after the former-Jedi–turned–cult-leader of the Bando Gora via private invitation." For the "former-Jedi–turned–cult-leader", Vosa left the order and became Dooku's Dark Jedi apprentice. Perhaps simplify/shorten that meaning.
 * 62) **See above. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * End of the Hunt-"The Mandalorian proceeded to the moon of and was immediately attacked by Bando Gora slaves." Missing a word after "moon of"
 * 64) **Whoops. Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * I'm seeing linking within the captions of the images. While you linked the subjects in her bio, do you think it's relevant that you also linked them in the captions?
 * 66) **I thought it was, but I plan to deal specifically with the images once the article is more worked through by the Inq. Things can always change dramatically. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *I'll continue with "Infant of Shaa incident (27 BBY)". Interesting read so far Fiolli. I'm surprised to see other Wookieepedians, other than myself, are interested in Zam/Jango :P  JangFett  Talk 18:39, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Somehow Scum and Villainy (sourcebook) was forgotten. Will add within a couple days. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:51, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *Added information. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:41, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) Attack of the Clone
 * 71) * "It was during this time that Wesell met another Clawdite": can this "other Clawdite" get an article? I don't see why he doesn't have one.
 * 72) * "End of the hunt" is starting to get extremely pbp. Try to see if you can smooth the flow.
 * 73) *Please watch your linking...it's been seriously lacking in the small portion I've read. I would highly recommend that you check the rest of the article before I pick up my review. I'll continue with "Crossed contracts" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 05:15, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * "The contract had been placed by a rival named Antonin": I'm assuming you mean that he was a rival of Dreddon's, but please clarify.
 * 75) **Reworded.
 * 76) * In "Stealing the artifact" (and basically thoughout the whole article), please check your "dispatching with"; I'm unsure of what you mean. I don't believe it's an English idiom.
 * 77) **"Dispatching with" is a more formal way of expressing that she took care of them, or bested them in some kind of either battle or fight.
 * 78) * "to that point": ...to what point? Please clarify.
 * 79) **Tweaked.
 * 80) * As amusing the word "thug" is, can you try to vary it a bit?
 * 81) **Varied.
 * 82) * "The bounty hunter appeared as a thin, timid man who acted as a disoriented and confused simpleton." So she was acting as a man, who was acting as a simpleton? If that's factually correct, then I guess it's fine, but if not, I think this can be worded better.
 * 83) **That is factually correct. That's why I used "appeared" first and "acted" second to have some variance.
 * 84) * A note before I get into "Plot to assassinate Senator Amidala": for consistency, I would recommend only using quotes in the sub-sub-headers (i.e. "First assassination attempt" and "Second assassination attempt and death") instead of under the main "Plot" as well. It's the only time you do that in the article, and it looks like you're just trying to use as many quotes as you can.  CC7567  (talk) 07:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) **Removed it, although the main article template remains because it covers both assassination attempts. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:10, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) * Please check this image caption: "Wesell while being confronted by Jango Fett her first attempt to kill Senator Amidala failed."
 * 87) **Word was missing. Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * "However, Wesell possessed an ability to mimic a Dug, which required some bodily reconfiguration and create extra skin to hide explosives when infiltrating Kuat." Can you do rephrasing for "create"? I can't tell what it's supposed to be linked to.
 * 89) **Broke the sentence apart as they were not the same instance. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * "Furthermore, most Clawdites only possessed the ability to alter skin tone; or, at most, other humanoid species." Please check the last part; from the context, it doesn't sound like you're trying to say "alter other humanoid species."
 * 91) **Reworded. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) * "While it was extremely rare": I'm assuming you mean rare for Clawdites, but please clarify.
 * 93) **Reworded. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) * Are you absolutely sure that she used her blaster pistol during the Clone Wars when they hadn't even begun on Geonosis?
 * 95) **Bah. This was a huge mistake. Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) * "The explosives were available to use": I can't understand how, and your wording implies that they were available for anyone to use.
 * 97) **Reworded. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * "Jango Fett freed Wesell from the beast and instructed her to drop the cylindrical devices. They exploded, killing the creature." Please explain how this is relevant to the "Equipment" section. It's reading right out of the "History," and as the Equipment really shouldn't include anything beyond a brief history, this is rather excessive. If you need to keep it in, please shorten it. (In this case, Fett doesn't appear to be relevant either.)
 * 99) **Reshuffled. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) * "The wreckage of the droid was later recovered and included a status log of Wesell's bounties." Please check the time implications this sentence gives; it doesn't sound like it suddenly included a status log when it was found.
 * 101) **Reworded.
 * 102) * Please rephrase "successfully asked." All that means is that she asked something, and that doesn't mean that she got what she was asking for.
 * 103) **Technically, a common and satisfactory idiom. Rephrased anyway. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) * Please vary one of your uses of "learned of her death" in Boba's section.
 * 105) **Varied. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) *A very interesting read, Fiolli.  CC7567  (talk) 03:20, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) **Thank you, CC. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:03, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I am aware that one&mdash;and possibly two&mdash;images are in violation of WP:I at the moment because of blanked speech bubbles. I am working on having this rectified as quickly as possible. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:34, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Is there a reason almost every image is on the right side? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:26, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, for uniformity and aesthetic appearance since I placed the noncaptioned images under the relationship heading in a similar manner as key characters in OOU articles. There is no set rule that all have to be in alternating sides, so encyclopedic uniformity was preferred to having images dancing around the page from side to side which, in the case of this article, looked quite poor. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:20, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * You can still alternate the images and then have the two noncaptioned ones on the one side. Personally, I think having them all on the one side doesn't look great aesthetically, and might distract readers' attentions because it's not what they're used to seeing. Either way, I think it looks odd. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:29, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes it does. It just doesn't suit that they are all in the same side.--Kreivi Wolter 12:11, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Many thanks to for taking care of the two images in question. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:08, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I added an update tag for you. There's some interesting info consering her romance with another Clawdite and her daughter in the Scum and Villainy (sourcebook), pages 113-114.  Mauser  Comlink 15:45, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Kiros
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:25, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: None

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:21, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 05:28, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 08:03, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * "The Republic forces—led by High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi General Anakin Skywalker—fought through the capital, only to discover that the whole planet's population had mysteriously disappeared." I don't think you need "mysteriously" here, since you already say what happened.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * " With Kiros liberated, the Jedi set off to gain more intelligence from Zygerrian slavers who often passed through the remains of the Shi'kar homeworld." Is the fact that the Zygerrian slavers hung out around the Shi'kar homeworld really notable enough for the intro? It seems rather random.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "Nineteen planet rotations later," Why do you word it like this instead of "Nineteen days"?
 * 7) **Because that's what the comic says.
 * 8) * Are CC-7567 and CC-2224's nicknames really necessary?
 * 9) **CC-2224's, maybe not. But 7567 plays a larger role in the battle, and as such, he is mentioned more. I just don't feel like it to address him by his designation every time.
 * 10) * "Kenobi, however, squashed the projector with the Force" Squashed is rather colloquial.
 * 11) **Changed to "crushed".
 * 12) * "Ugg fell a long road from his headquarters" A long road?
 * 13) **Addressed
 * 14) *Good job.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:02, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you for review. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Comments

Castin Donn

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 18:30, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First FA. And the first Wraith on my list.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:23, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good show. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:31, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) And shot him in the throat. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:31, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 06:01, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Last paragraph in Raids on Halmad is unsourced.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * You don't need to add periods on your quote attributions.
 * 5) **Noted. Fixed.
 * 6) * "Castin Donn was a Human male from Coruscant who was as a member of the New Republic commando group Wraith Squadron." Was as?
 * 7) **Fixed. I must have been really tired to miss that.
 * 8) * "Donn was brought in to replace the Wraith's former slicer, Eurrsk Thri'ag. Donn joined the Wraiths sometime in late 7 ABY during the New Republic's campaign against Warlord Zsinj." These sentences should be merged together, since they're both about Donn joining the Wraiths.
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) * "It was just one of the many blemishes on his service record." Any info on any of the others?
 * 11) **Added.
 * 12) * Mention in the bio that he joins in 7 ABY.
 * 13) **Fixed.
 * 14) * Add some context on Wraith Squadron's campaigns against Zsinj.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * Quote in Raids on Halmad sections looks to be incomplete.
 * 17) **Added.
 * 18) * " When the Wraith's cover was blown, Donn was responsible for providing an escape distraction" How was the Wraiths' cover blown?
 * 19) **Added.
 * 20) *<S>I see you use the word "forge" a lot. Vary it up.
 * 21) **Changed.
 * 22) * Give info on the Wraiths' mission in Raids on Halmad where Castin was left behind on Hawk-bat base.
 * 23) **Added.
 * 24) * "Donn freed the experimented Talz Zsinj's scientists were working on before making his escape." Experimented? Reword.
 * 25) **Done.
 * 26) * Give info on Ton Phanan's death.
 * 27) **Added.
 * 28) *<S>Is Hohass Ekwesh's nickname really necessary?
 * 29) **Removed.
 * 30) * "Donn was also a capable pilot, managing to earn a high enough score to qualify for Antilles's squadron. Though he sorely lacked experience as shown by Antilles's decision to assign him as Wraith Two."Merge these sentences together.
 * 31) **Done.
 * 32) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:33, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review, I'll get back on the other two objections.--ToRsO bOy 07:06, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Addressed all points.--ToRsO bOy 21:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 36) * Might be a good idea to mention his xenophobia a little earlier in the bio.
 * 37) **Added.
 * 38) * IIRC, the Wraiths weren't told to form a pirate group. They came up with that idea on their own. Please clarify.
 * 39) **Yes but Ackbar was the one who gave the go signal. Anyway, revised. I dunno where I got the High Command from. lol
 * 40) * More context on Antilles on first mention, i.e specify he's Wraith Leader.
 * 41) **Added.
 * 42) * Contextify and link Loran on first mention.
 * 43) **Done.
 * 44) * I believe Allston refers to it as "Narra," not "the Narra." Please check and rectify if that's the case.
 * 45) **It's Narra. Fixed.
 * 46) * Correct grammar needed for the section titles; I see missing italics and improper capitalization.
 * 47) **Fixed.
 * 48) * Might be good to point out that Barderia was bound for Halmad, else the bit about return journey makes little sense.
 * 49) **Added.
 * 50) * " promise to never do anything on his own" I don't think that was exactly what Loran made him promise.
 * 51) **Do or do not, there is no try. :D It was try, not do. Changed.
 * 52) * You mention that Phanan died on Halmad way after the fact. Either remove the mention or talk about it when it happened.
 * 53) **Added it on the end part of the Raids on Halmad section.
 * 54) * " nearly killed herself if not for the intervention of Loran." Kinda sticky wording
 * 55) **Fixed.
 * 56) * You refer to Ekwesh as "Runt" without having established him as such. The preferred usage is the surname anyway, not the nickname.
 * 57) **Fixed.
 * 58) * " Donn exhibited traits typical of to his profession." Kinda sticky wording.
 * 59) **Removed the "of".
 * ", and a fistfight with a Sullustan navigator. " Seems like this could flow better.
 * 1) **Fixed.
 * 2) * P&T should mention his motivations for joining the New Republic.
 * 3) **It doesn't say exactly why he joined the New Republic, though I added his reasons for joinng the Wraiths.
 * 4) * Is it Victory Base or Victory base? I think it's the former; check your talents and abilities section.
 * 5) **Changed.
 * 6) *Note: I could have fixed some of these myself, but some lessons are better learned first-hand as part of getting used to the FAN process. ;-)
 * 7) **But of course, I would expect nothing less. Much thanks for the review.--ToRsO bOy 21:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Harrar
 * 10) * "Shortly after escaping from Zsinj's ambush, Donn received a message from Zsinj through one of the forged accounts he sliced into Halmad's planetary defense satellite network." I don't understand the second half of this.
 * 11) **Reworded.
 * 12) * "and Donn was excluded due to his criminal record on Coruscant, one that Donn tried to erase illegally but to no avail." When does he try to erase the record? If it happens before Antilles' envoy selection process then you should include it earlier in the first section of the bio, for chronology's sake.
 * 13) **Added info on first part of bio.
 * 14) * "Unable to contain his frustration, Donn reacted to Antilles's rejection with a rude outburst." Rude is POV, even if it is clearly meant to be read as rude.
 * 15) **Reworded.
 * 16) * "While the envoy team was having dinner with Zsinj, the warlord was informed of the captured saboteur [...] Passik further noted that the way the stormtroopers carried Donn's body suggested that they were hauling a dead body, not a person liable to wake up." &mdash; big problem with this whole paragraph here, TB. You're relating events as they are told to us in the novel, but this is Donn's biography. Instead, you need to infer what happens behind the scenes. I.e. Castin is killed by shots to the chest and his body is taken and fitted with a prosthetic chest. It's then taken before the envoy party as a test, but Passik guesses at the deception and shoot's Castin's corpse, allowing the envoy team to leave. See what I mean?
 * 17) **I understand, but the problem is the novel didn't state whether or not Donn was already dead when he was hauled to the dinner. All we have is Dia's speculation at best, and Zsinj didn't even confirm that Donn was indeed dead already. I wasn't sure if it'll be okay treading through speculation. Anyway, I changed it. Tell me if its better than the previous one.
 * 18) ***No no, this is much better. If Allston wanted us to consider whether Donn had actually been alive I think he would have made more of a deal with the ambiguity&mdash;the scene's more about Dia I think. Plus the line Passik says about a new chestplate being fitted "to replace the one that was burned through when he was killed" does suggest he was finished off by shots to the chest which were subsequently concealed.
 * 19) * Is there a better quotation for the Legacy section which deals with Donn's more valuable legacy of the destruction of the Iron Fist? I can deal with the Passik quotation but I feel Donn's importance to the war effort overall is more important historically.
 * 20) **Changed.
 * 21) *Nice stuff dude, great for your first effort. Watch out for split infinitives such as "to never try". Also, you placed a semi-colon before "while" twice, which I don't think is proper usage. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:23, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **I appreciate the comments, as well as the review. =)--ToRsO bOy 22:40, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

'Comments

Darth Nihilus

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Meh, a misunderstanding killed it, but it'll make a comeback here (I hope).

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * In the intro, give context on the Mass Shadow Generator and its effect on Malachor V.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "The experience of the mass shadows made him "hunger" for Force energy, and the affliction began to ravage his body." Affliction? If its his hunger for Force energy, connect the two.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "Sion beat Traya, with Nihilus right behind him, " Reword. IIRC, Sion and Nihilus teamed up to defeat Traya, this makes it sound like Sion did all the work.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * In the intro state that the Exile was a Jedi.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * Mention how Nihilus sent Visas to find the Exile in the intro.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Give more info on how the Battle of Telos IV came about (Traya's trap, etc.) in the intro.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "During the final battle of the war, which taking place on the planet Malachor V," Which taking place?
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Context on Revan and Malak.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * " Nihilus, on the planet, however survived and in his grief over his losses during the war, the man assumed a dark persona there," Reword. Doesn't flow well.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * "He survived the activation of the superweapon but became ill." Repetitive, as you already mention that he survived.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) *<S>Mention that the Trayus Academy was on Malachor.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) *Watch your linking. Articles are to be linked once in the intro and once in the bio.
 * 25) **Addressed NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:06, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Mention how Sion and Nihilus began the First Jedi Purge in the bio.
 * 27) **Addressed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 09:38, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Clarify why Atris would lure Nihilus to Katarr.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * "Nihilus felt a disturbance in the Force that only his apprentice could identify. As a result, Marr was sent to defeat the Exile and bring her before Nihilus so that he could consume her." Connect the disturbance in the Force with the Exile.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * "A member of the Jedi Exile's team, was put in charge of an expedition through the jungle, aimed at the eradicating the Sith from it." Doesn't flow well. Reword.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) *<S>"After battling their way inside the tomb, the ceremony was interrupted by the strike team" What ceremony?
 * 35) **Addressed.
 * 36) * "The outcome of the proceedings is unknown." Remove.
 * 37) **Addressed.
 * 38) * Contextify Tobin.
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) *"The Exile proceeded into the Core and found Traya meditating. She revealed her plans to the Exile" Combine these two sentences.
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) *Is the long summary of Kreia and the Exile's duel really necessary?
 * 43) **I don't find it that long, just two or three sentences, and the contextification of the deaths of both Traya and Sion were neccisary.
 * 44) ***Just to butt in here quickly, those first two paragraphs of the legacy section are way too detailed and unrelated to Nihilus. All we really need to know is that Sion and Traya were killed on Malachor V, not that the Exile was attacked by the students or that Traya got her hand cut off or that Sion kept regenerating. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:00, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ****They are related to Nihilus as they are about the fall of the Sith Triumvirate and they were to context why, when there were two other dark lords, that the Sith would have carried on thanks to an unknown darth. I did cut a lot from the Traya duel because all that was needed was that she was defeated however I think that saying how Sion died, when it was already stated that he had survived dying before by using his will to live was important and the part about her being attacked in the halls was just a short preface to that. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:25, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Exactly.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:10, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * Context required on Krayt.
 * 48) **Addressed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *Context on Jekk'Jekk Tarr and Dessicus.
 * 50) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:49, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:08, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) The Pasta Bowl Strikes Back&hellip;
 * 53) *A couple of things from a cursory look:
 * 54) **The first part of the bio mentions Nihilus by that name, but that only adopted after being taken in by Kreia. Please address this at the beginning of the bio if you decide that the first two paragraphs need to have this name in it. Using Nihilus at this point, other than an initial mention borders on unencyclopedic.
 * 55) ***I had to fall back on such monikers as "the man," taking into account whether another male had just been mentioned, to correct this. I hope that's OK. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:59, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) **There are many sentences in the first couple sections of the bio that need to be split apart. Compound sentences are nice at times, but three or more sentences should not be made from one.
 * 57) ***Fixed, though it reads a bit choppy now IMO, what do you think? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:59, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) **Double check my other other list of objections that were left on the GAN page when this was there. After browsing through, it seems that not all of these were met. Fair warning, I spent a lot of time going through the article; so, I am not going to let those objections slide.
 * 59) ***I completely understand. I've looked over the list of objections again and fixed the outstanding objections, as well as others that were put on hold. Don't hesitate to tell me if I've missed any of them and thank you for the cursory look. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:01, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) **More details to follow.&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:33, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) Harrar
 * 62) * You say he sends Marr to investigate, then you say he sends Marr to assassinate. Which is it? If you do keep this in &mdash;About one year later, the duo felt a growing presence in the Force and he sent his apprentice to investigate.&mdash;then please clear up the grammatical mistake ("duo" and "he") in it.
 * 63) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 09:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * Last paragraph of the intro: "In the carnage he was secretly boarde by a small force" &mdash; yes, I could change that myself, but FAN introductions shouldn't really have any glaring grammatical and spelling errors. Nihilus cannot be "boarde"
 * 65) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 09:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Please take note and vary your pronoun usage. There are a lot of "he"s and it gets repetitive.
 * 67) **Fixed, aside from the first paragraph which takes plaace before he was given a known name. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 09:24, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * "During the final battle of the war, which took place on the planet Malachor V, the Jedi Exile, a Jedi General who followed the Revanchists, Jedi who went to fight in the war against the wishes of the Jedi Council; gave the order to activate the Mass Shadow Generator. &mdash; this sentence flows about as fast as mud. The semi-colon is also misplaced. Please consider what's pertinent to this very brief synopsis of the end of the war. Are the Revanchists? Is Bao-Dur's occupation?
 * 69) **Fixed. The Revanchists are not while Bao-Dur's occupation is, IMO. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:30, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) *From "Having been attacked at the start of..." to "...an [sic] convinced the Queen to allow him to stand trial foe [sic] his crimes" is simply irrelevant. The only pertinent information here is that Nihilus' plans for Onderon go awry because the Jedi Exile and Canderous Ordo defeat his forces.
 * 71) **Cut down and focused more on the twarting of the plan. The whole scene isn't unneccisary, it was just a bit overwritten. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:30, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) *In the legacy section, you really just need to say that the Exile traveled to confront Traya, redeemed Sion and defeated the Sith acolytes at the academy, before defeating Traya. At the moment, you're just summarizing the game. A legacy section should always be relevant to its subject.
 * 73) **Fixed again. I realized that some of the info would be better said earlier and I merged the paragraphs. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:25, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) *Generally a bit messy Naruhina. Overuse of pronouns, commas and semi-colons where none are necessary, sudden shifts of perspective, repetition of info, reams of extraneous information, over-capitalized section headers (Silent sojourn rather than Silent Sojourn). I've made a lot of changes in an attempt to hurry this along. Also note for future reference that the "light side" hasn't been proven entirely canonical. According to the CSWE, Vaklu is shot to death. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 16:25, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Please try to keep in mind that I'll be on and off for the next while. I'll get objections as soon as possible on this and the following noms.
 * Fellow Inqs: Please feel free to strike my remaining objections if they're in danger of holding this article up for a considerable length of time. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:50, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Gelesi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Just because.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:12, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Infobox not fully sourced.
 * 3) **Fixed
 * 4) * In the intro: Why was the Exile in a rush to leave the planet?
 * 5) **Fixed
 * 6) ***Don't just remove it, mention why. She was escaping attacks by Vaklu's troops and turrets.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Alright, fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *<S>"He was promoted to captain in the Onderonian military—the youngest of three, together with Bostuco and Riiken" The three what?
 * 9) **Reworded
 * 10) * Why would the Onderon military frame the Ebon Hawk for starting the conflict?
 * 11) **Added
 * 12) * Mention what year this all takes place in.
 * 13) **Added
 * 14) * Bio and P&T quotes?
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * "At the request of a Vaklu supporter named Anda, the Exile can remove the three captains of the Guard in order to weaken the Royalist military in preparation for the attack on the Royal Palace. Anda is willing to pay the Exile 2500 credits for each one she removes" Place this somewhere else in the BtS.
 * 17) **I'm not sure what you mean, where else could I put it?
 * 18) ***I would switch it with the "Siding with Talia is the canonical path" one.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:15, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is perhaps the most shaky of these noms, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:13, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  The Flash  {talk} 17:19, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Kreivi Wolter 13:52, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * OK. First of all, in the intro provide more context on the Clone Wars, and how Palpatine branded the Jedi as traitors.
 * 3) **Added.
 * 4) * Context on Windu.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) ***Still none in the intro.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:50, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Ah. Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:09, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * State how Vader was a Jedi in the intro,
 * 9) **Added.
 * 10) * IIRC, Operation: Knightfall wasn't really part of Order 66. It took part after its issuance, and is more of a full-on assault on the Jedi Temple.
 * 11) **You are correct, and the article reflects that.
 * 12) ***I was commenting on the phrase "initiating a massacre under the authority of Order 66", which reflects the exact opposite.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:50, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Whoops, fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:09, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Context on the duel between Windu and Sidious and how it started.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * More context on Skywalker and Sidious' relationship, how Sidious was trying to turn Skywalker to the dark side.
 * 17) **Added.
 * 18) * State that Windu actually died. You just say that his arm was cut off.
 * 19) **Added.
 * 20) * I think the Prelude section should be expanded in general.
 * 21) **Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:05, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Marching silently to the gates of the Temple with a legion of elite clones," Just say that its the 501st Legion.
 * 23) **Done
 * 24) * The first two paragraphs in "The battle" should really be merged into the first subsection.
 * 25) **I'm not so sure. I think that the actual operation began when he killed Jurokk and marched up the steps with the clones. Also, the transition from extrapolating Order 66 to them marching up the steps if I changed it would be awkward no matter how I could write it. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:37, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Using a piece to break down the door into a study hall," A piece of what?
 * 27) **The statue. Fixed.
 * 28) * Quote for Hunting the masters and children?
 * 29) **Added.
 * 30) * Context on the Special Operations Brigade.
 * 31) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:59, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * Give more context on the Republic's transition to the Empire, since you call Palpatine the Emperor in Aftermath without any explanation.
 * 33) **Added.
 * 34) * Mention that Amidala was pregnant before.
 * 35) **Added.
 * 36) * Watch your linking.
 * 37) **I've combed the article over and fixed it.
 * 38) * The Lego Star Wars game does not show Anakin and the 501st marching on the Temple, it only shows Obi-Wan and Yoda returning to the Temple.
 * 39) **Fixed. It appeared breifly in a hologram.
 * 40) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:08, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added FAnom. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:51, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Excellent article and I've supported it, but are they're any more sources/appearance? It seems a bit lacking for such an influential part in Jedi history.  The Flash  {talk} 17:19, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I've looked and I find it very strange that the event hasn't been mentioned in more material. Any mention of this time period is usually about the general fall of the Jedi, the GJP, than rather Ani storming through the Temple. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Vectivus

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:47, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Not as badass as some other Darths, but just as important.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:41, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:46, September 10, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Quotes for Life or Legacy?
 * 3) **Added
 * 4) ***Quotes for the two subsections as well.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:55, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:36, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * The sections detailing the events of Betrayal don't flow well.
 * 7) **It's better now.
 * 8) * Lots of short, choppy sentences that need to be merged together.
 * 9) **How's this? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:56, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The One Sith Order arrived at the asteroid, intent on destroying Vectivus's asteroid, and the dark side powers it contained, so that it would not fall into the hands of the Jedi and Galactic Alliance forces. " Asteroid is repetitive.
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * Quote for P&T?
 * 13) **Added.
 * 14) * Quote for P&A? I'm sure you could find some quotes in Betrayal.
 * 15) **Added
 * 16) * Expand the BtS. Give some info on Darth Vectivus' appearances in Star Wars canon.
 * 17) **Expanded. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:10, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:23, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Cav:
 * 20) * There is no mention of any type of Sith apprenticeship in the intro. A little mention should be added before the revelation that he took a Sith name.
 * 21) **Added.
 * 22) * After the dark side energies slowly lead to his mining crews going insane, force-sensitives among the crews manifesting odd abilities, and strange sights through the mines. You appear to be missing the end of this sentence - you say "after" these things happened, but give no indication as to what happened after listing the examples.
 * 23) **Fixed.
 * 24) * Ensuring that the mine would be quietly forgotten about, while other operations in the asteroid field continued; after learning all there was to learn from the place, the man took the name Darth Vectivus, departed, and began to quietly gather information of Sith lore through peaceful means. This makes little sense as it is, seeming like two unrelated sentences meshed together. Please rewrite, as well as expanding on how he ensured the mine was forgotten about.
 * 25) *Fixed. How he did it is never revealed.
 * 26) * Check your name usage - surnames should be used instead of first names. I see a few Nelani, Ben, and Jacens in place of Dinn, Skywalker, and Solo.
 * 27) **Fixed.
 * 28) * Darth Vectivus's holocron containing his words on business ethic and a detailed explaination of the the use of his Force Phantom techniques later came into the possession of the One Sith, a growing new order of Sith following the Rule of One, who gave it to Alema Rar, a Twi'lek Dark Jedi, when she visited their base. Run on sentence. Please break up.
 * 29) * The One Sith did not approve of Lumiya's plan to turn Jacen Solo to the dark side so they ordered Alema to deliver the holocron to Solo, newly christened Darth Caedus. What was newly christened as Caedus? Solo or the plan to turn him? Its a little unclear.
 * 30) **How's this?
 * 31) * Mention of the Force phantoms power and Vectivus' mastery of it needs to be mentioned in the Life section before using it in the Legacy section. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:04, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:06, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Sorry, but no. He was practically abandoned as a motivator after Lumiya and Alema died and I've personally word searched all of LOTF for indirect mentions of him but could find nothing aside from those appearances. He's also still a pretty new character when you look at the amount of LOTF era material and sourcebooks pertanent to his line of work released since his inception, so I've found nothing else unfortunately.

Tauht

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A redshirt-type character, whose article has somehow reached 1,082 words. Enjoy.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 06:23, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) *"Along with Jedi Masters Kit Fisto and Plo Koon, he was dispatched to the planet Khorm in order to secure the valuable Agrocite ore, which had been captured by the Separatists." Why is the agrocite ore valuable?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *" However, the communication tower was destroyed by explosives detonated by Ventress." Give some kind of time placement for this. Was it as Tauht tried to contact Koon?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *"Having been warned not to underestimate Ventress," When?
 * 7) **The exact timeframe is unknown. I hope "previously" should do the trick...
 * 8) *Other than that, looks good.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:46, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for review. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:49, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Single source for now. I'll source the article if he gets mentioned in the subsequent issues.
 * Being a redshirt, he was completely forgotten after his death... QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:24, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * P&T and P&A are pretty minimal, but that's all there is to say about him. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Adanar

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:17, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1156 words. Part of FloydProject: Path of Destruction.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) Assuming Fiolli's objections will be fixed, of course.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:18, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:36, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Much better. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:48, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:06, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 05:11, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:57, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Naru
 * 2) * "The Sith eventually repelled the Trandoshan attack and annihilated the remaining Republic forces, and in the end Hsskhor was razed to the ground." Double "and."
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "However, Adanar was emotionally scarred and traumatized by the battle." You say ths several times in the article but what about the battle left him traumatized?
 * 5) **Doesn't say.
 * 6) * "Dessel would eventually become Darth Bane, one of the most influential Dark Lords of the Sith in galactic history." This is kindof POVish.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) ***Saying "influential" is still POVish.
 * 9) ****No it isn't. Canon establishes that he was influential.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:40, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *****I suppose, though it still depends upon who you ask IU. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:36, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Adanar looked up to and greatly admired Dessel, and was both astonished by Dessel's abilities and trusting in Dessel's leadership." Double "and."
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) ***The sentence hasn't changed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:15, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ****No, it has changed. I changed the second and to as.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:40, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *****Oh, sorry. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:36, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *A very good article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:50, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) Pasta! Pasta!
 * 19) * Throughout the article, the tense needs to be checked. There are a lot of instances of present/future conditional tenses rather than a type of past tense. Please fix this.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) * "He joined the Sith army in 1,003 BBY, on the same day as his future friend Dessel, and was placed in the Gloom Walkers unit." I think it would be better to reword it so that "future" is not used. It is kind of a gray area regarding perception of tense and time in the article. A clause like "who later became" might fit better and feel more past tense. The sentence will probably need to be split up to accommodate that, which is really fine anyway.
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) * I know this falls under &mdash;but I am bringing it to your attention for during your copyedit&mdash;check your comma usage with quasi-compound sentences. Such as, "Adanar first saw battle in the Battle of Kashyyyk, and later fought in the Battle of Hsskhor&hellip;" No comma here. When I go through it again, I'll fix any that remain.
 * 24) **OK.
 * 25) * "Over the next year, Adanar would fight in scores of battles on half a dozen worlds." (1) Same objection as with Ulabore regarding statistics. (2) Half-a-dozen is not good English. It is a slang idiom.
 * 26) **Addressed.
 * 27) * There are quite a few sentences that border on or are run-ons in the article. While this is a minor one, here is one example: "Adanar and Dessel were placed in the same unit, the Gloom Walkers, under the command of Lieutenant Ulabore and would eventually become good friends." The whole section about becoming friends should probably be in the next sentence. Again, this one is minor, but a few others really should be restructured. Just give it a good copyedit when you fix the tenses. Here is a better example of a sentence that should be split: "Alone and surrounded by enemies, Lieutenant Ulabore panicked, but, luckily for the Gloom Walkers, Dessel was able to lead them on a three-day march back to the main force."
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * "Dessel would eventually become Darth Bane, one of the most influential Dark Lords of the Sith in galactic history." Naru is right, this is not NPOV.
 * 30) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Few things:
 * 32) * I'd like to see his sex mentioned in the body since it's given in the intro.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * Is there any more detail given about how the battle emotionally scarred him?
 * 35) **See above. Doesn't say.
 * 36) *Otherwise, nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:03, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) Toprawa:
 * 39) * You capitalize the rank of "Senior Trooper" in each instance where our Layout Guide otherwise stipulates it should be lower case. Is there any exception here I am unaware of? If not, please de-capitalize.
 * 40) **The rank of "Senior Trooper" is capitalized in Path of Destruction.
 * 41) * Why does he "seem to" retain his sight? Seemed to retain it to whom? "Dessel seemed to retain his sight"
 * 42) **Changed.
 * 43) * Every single sentence of the P/T begins the exact same say. "Adanar did this." "Adanar did that." Please humor me and mix it up a little bit. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:15, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Varied.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:27, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Kal'Shebbol

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:14, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with Kal'Shebbol.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 11:24, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Is it known where it first appeared?  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, September 6, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Generis

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:45, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A generic planet article

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 10:42, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:37, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ~ SavageBob 13:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 05:32, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:43, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few trifles
 * 2) * Intro: "Generis became a strategic location for the Alliance, coordinating its forces throughout the Atrivis sector." &mdash; this reads as though Generis is coordinating the Alliance forces, could you reword this a litte/add what's necessary?
 * 3) **Done
 * 4) * Locations: "Ruins of Rakatan temples dotted the Generis jungle, of a distinctly alien design" &mdash; it seems a little strange to state that the temples were made by the (alien) Rakata and that the temples were of a "distinctly alien design". Is this a throwback to the pre-Atlas article's info or do you want to keep this in?
 * 5) **A combination, really. The description is from pre-Atlas sources, and as it is the only indicator of their design, I'd like to keep it. I think it does add something, although I've added the word exotic to convey their alien-ness.
 * 6) ***Okay cool!
 * 7) *This is just a great article, Ey; I really enjoyed reading it. Interesting that they tied in the ruins to the Rakata in the Atlas. - —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:25, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Thanks for the review and the words, Harrar. From what I can tell, they gave Rakatan origins to temples on other worlds too, such as Hijarna and Xo, which is a really nice bit of continuity. --Eyrezer 00:46, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) IFYLOFD:
 * 10) *<S>"Generis was a planet of stunning natural beauty located in the Generis system" A bit POVish.</S>
 * 11) **That's pretty much verbatim from The Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook
 * 12) *<S>The lead quote and the quote for the New Republic section are the same.</S>
 * 13) **Changed lead quote.
 * 14) *<S>Quotes for Military personnel or Locations?</S>
 * 15) **Added some. --Eyrezer 06:23, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:47, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 18) * My only quibble is that the ambiguity between "Generis system" and "Atrivis system" is not spelled out a bit more in the infobox and lead section. It makes it a bit jarring to see "Generis system" used in the lead, but "Atrivis system" used in the infobox. Could you change it to something that indicates both names are valid? "Atrivis sytem/Generis system" maybe, or "Atrivis system (a.k.a. Generis system", for example? Otherwise, this is an exemplary planet article. Good work! ~ SavageBob 21:32, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. I've added the alternate name to the infobox and also changed any occurrences of Atrivis system in the body to Generis system. --Eyrezer 07:23, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Just out of curiosity, what system name does the Essential Atlas place it in? ~ SavageBob 13:56, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ****Generis in the Appendix, as well as on a couple of maps. --Eyrezer 03:04, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Are you sure it was the capture of Coruscant in 6 ABY, not the First Battle of Coruscant (Galactic Civil War) in 7 ABY? If you are, please link the one you're referring to.  CC7567  (talk)
 * 23) *Good spotting, CC. I am not sure what happened there. Fixed up now. --Eyrezer 03:14, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 25) * Only one thing, which really has nothing to do with Generis: "Pash Cracken commanded the Cracken Flight Group, a crack unit of RZ-1 A-wing interceptors that had followed him when he defected from the Empire soon after graduating from the Imperial Naval Academy." - this implies the unit used A-wings in the Empire before their defection.
 * 26) **Clarified. Good spotting. --Eyrezer 23:41, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *Great job. Very well done. I like the fact that you mentioned Cracken's crack Cracken Flight Group. :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:30, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is going to need quite a few additions from the Atlas, which may take a little while. I'll note when I've done that. --Eyrezer 03:56, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Peragus II

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: When I first started editing again, I wouldn't have GANed it and would have merely FANed it, had I better known the Wook. Either way, many objections will have been fixed by the GAN process. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) Jinzler
 * 2) * According to The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, the original mining colony was destroyed millenia before the Jedi Civil War. Also, it says that the Peragus Mining Facility was established by a group of mercenaries and tradesmen, who supplied Republic forces during the Great Sith War. You should mention these things in the article --Jinzler 10:46, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed - thanks for the review. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  11:26, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Pasta!
 * 5) *First, some preliminaries before I go in-depth:
 * 6) *Information from the Atlas is missing.
 * 7) *TSL is used as a citation for information that does not come from the game. For example, 3,951 BBY does not come from the game itself; I'm also pretty certain that "Peragus system" does not come from the game as well. Please fix these. Other sources are plentiful to cite for these things.
 * 8) *The infobox states that the population was "none" but there is an inhabitants section. Please reconcile this.
 * 9) *Nothing from the Prima Guide? Not even a mention?
 * 10) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:04, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Cham Syndulla

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another old GA. Finally had the time to rewrite it from its rather poor state.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) I hear you liek clone warz!  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Exelent.Kreivi Wolter 20:09, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blah
 * 2) * "Syndulla did not not onto his personal disputes with Taa" Err...what? :P You're missing a word.
 * 3) **...eh. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "because of later changes due to a lack of sense in the plot" So, they changed it because the plot made no sense? Could you rephrase this a bit? It's a touch...odd, and POVish.
 * 5) **Rephrased.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Real nice work, CC.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for the review, Chack. Just a note: I've replaced the Palpatine link in the quote caption because it's the only time he's in the article. If there's a problem with that, I'll try to catch you on IRC later.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Lorth Needa

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:44, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After working on this for God-knows-how-long, I've finally decided to stop being lazy and nominate this.

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) Per pre-nom review. Nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:00, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  The Flash  {talk} 02:09, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Well done. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:00, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:15, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Noice, Tranner.  CC7567  (talk) 02:14, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:44, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:14, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) There's more info to be added from the Ep III novel. In the bio, talk about his communication with Yoda during the Invisible Hands descent. In the P&T, talk about his reaction to the Battle of Coruscant and his feelings on Palpatine, Skywalker, Kenobi, and the Republic.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:06, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I thought I was missing something. Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:08, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Farlstendoiro opposing
 * 4) * Bio/Republic Navy Service: The first paragraph does not specify whether Needa fired against Grievous's ship when he did not surrender. Later, I see Grievous's ship had been damaged by "Republic fire", but I still doubt whether Needa attacked, relented or was bluffing all the time. If that point is know, I think it should be specified.
 * 5) **The ROTS novel doesn't mention if Needa's Integrity fired upon the Hand at all.
 * 6) * Bio/Republic Navy Service: Last paragraph. Was Needa present during Palpatine's speech or not? I think the text wants me to assume he was, but I'm still not sure.
 * 7) **As it was a meeting of all Republic Navy officers, it is assumed that he was there. Regardless, the info is necessary to his bio.
 * 8) * Bio/Failure and death: that the "cave" it had hidden in. The inverted commas do not sound too encyclopedic to me. Suggestion: that the alleged/assumed/presumed/supposed cave it had hidden in.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * P&T: Following the Rebellion Era Sourcebook, Needa can speak Ryl. Needa also studied specialized courses about the Empire or something ("Knowledge: The New Order" 5; not too high as a lieutenant Dragen has a 6), and he had an important level of specialized knowledge about the Imperial Navy ("Knowledge: Imperial Navy" 6; equaled only by Piett and surpased only by moff Harsh in Gamer #6, that I know). I feel those skills should be mentioned. His other RPG stats are not notable enough to be mentioned, IMHO (Astrogate 6 is not very high for a Navy captain).
 * 11) **Though I hate those statistics, done.
 * 12) * That's all. You're in command now, Grand Moff Tranner. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:06, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:11, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) One minor thing: The bit about Virar seems a bit too concrete. It's not that Pedetsen believed that Lorth was a Rebel sympathizer, but that he was inventing a possible course of action for his commanding officer. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:40, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Fixed. Thanks for the review. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:09, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Marinara: A few cases I see of mixed tense. (Check the instances of "would.") It is better to avoid the conditional tenses altogether unless talking about in-universe speculation. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:09, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I removed some instances, but the remaining cases of "would" are necessary. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:21, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Note: On the advice of Toprawa, I'm going to get a few more images. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:46, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * You've got a faulty ref there at the moment. --Eyrezer 05:35, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Ugh. I forgot that I had something else referenced to ROTS. Thanks. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:13, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Fang Zar

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:19, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:I felt the need to take a short break from TCW. Won't last long.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 22:21, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Graestan the Merciless:
 * File:ROTSFalcon.jpg needs to be properly sourced.
 * 1) **I'm willing to do this, however I'm not exactly sure how to source for the back of a toy. Any help would be appreciated.
 * 2) **I just added a link to Rebelscum.com and listed the series and year. Realistically, that's the best you're going to get. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:23, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Thanks Culator. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:54, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * File:Sithdelscener1pic2.jpg needs to be recaptured and re-uploaded; one can barely make out Zar even in the full image, let alone the thumbnail.
 * 1) **Eh, I wasn't a big fan of the image anyway. It's been replaced.
 * 2) *Source list needs to be ordered chronologically.
 * 3) **Isn't it?
 * 4) *Appearance list needs to be ordered IU chronologically.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) *Succession box needs to be moved per Layout Guide.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) *Before I touch the writing, I'd like to see someone go through this and add pronouns and other substitutes for "Zar" so this looks a bit less like a book report.
 * 9) **I will work on this a bit, but most of the "Zar's" arise from the fact that he is very often dealing with other male individuals, like Palpatine, Bel Iblis, Vader, and Organa, resulting in confusing "he"s or "him"s or "his"es. But, like I said, I will work on this as much as possible.
 * 10) ***Does that work? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:46, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * Graestan ( Talk ) 14:20, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thank you for the review. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:31, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) Attack of the Clone
 * 14) * "Zar and Amidala were weary of these "actions,"": I believe you mean "wary", but please check this.
 * 15) **I always do that.
 * 16) * Please check your capitalization of "petition". It may be right, but I'd prefer that you check it all the same.
 * 17) **From what I've seen, it should be right now. I think.
 * 18) * "but was quickly cut off by the Chancellor and excused from his offices": please check your plural for "offices"; if I'm understanding the context correctly, I believe it should be "office", as in "Palpatine's office". As I'm not fully sure, please check this as well.
 * 19) **Simple typo, however it's technically correct either way, as a series of rooms comprising one large office can be reffered to as "offices."
 * 20) * "on the membership and activities of the Delegation": please check this; it's not flowing very well.
 * 21) **How is this not flowing well? I'm not seeing the problem, so please suggest an alternative.
 * 22) ***It's the "membership of the Delegation", mostly. Do you mean his membership to the Delegation, or the members of the Delegation?  CC7567  (talk) 20:41, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ****I meant that they were interrogating him on the other members of the delegation. I've changed "memebership" to "members"&mdash;does that help, or are you looking for something else?
 * 24) *****No, that's fine.  CC7567  (talk) 22:21, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * Can you specify what exactly this conflict on Sern Prime is if it's known?
 * 26) **It's not.
 * 27) * "that may have been homespun": please, try to word it so that it doesn't sound speculative, even if it's coming from an official source.
 * 28) **Removed. It's official that they appear homespun, but that's all, so there's really no non-speculative way to word it.
 * 29) *Your writing has come a long way, Trayus, and the only prominent errors I'm really noticing are just ones with awkward wording. If you get the chance, Toprawa has offered to help you with this in regards to EV-A4-D, and I believe that it would really benefit you.  CC7567  (talk)
 * 30) **If these wording issues are part of your objection for this article, please leave them to be addressed here, instead of waiting for Toprawa to bring them up in a meeting regarding entirely different article. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:27, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ***The wording wasn't part of the objection; sorry if I left that for misinterpretation.  CC7567  (talk) 20:41, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just as a note for the Inqs, Graestan's objections, which were addressed a day after their posting, have sat unstricken for a month now. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:20, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Showdown in the Draay Estate

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 03:10, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Many thanks to, whose original request for assistance led me to work on this article.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) A solid article, as always, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:18, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * My 2nd full KOTOR nom. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 03:10, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * This is not a formal objection, but the infobox lists "Unidentified number of "Covenent members". As I told PointGiven in my objections to "Vindication", Covenant members are called "Covenanters" by the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:18, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Addressed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 12:34, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Xecr Nist

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:26, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First in what may become a QuiGonProject.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:42, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 06:59, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * A few minor things:
 * 3) * The capitalization of Dark Side/dark side varies throughout the article. I think it should only be capitalized when specifically referring to Dark Side Adepts or Dark Side Elite.
 * 4) **I've fixed the "Dark Side Adept" capitalization. All other mentions of the "dark side" seem to be capitalized properly.
 * 5) * Is there any reason why you refer to the New Republic as the Rebel Alliance, since the Rebel Alliance was technically dissolved a few years prior?
 * 6) **Dark Empire constantly refers to the NR as the Rebel Alliance, despite the latter being disbanded five years before. This is one thing Veitch screwed up, but I still prefer to follow DE on this matter. Maybe the New Republic was temporarely reformed back into the Rebel Alliance during this period; as far as I know, no attempt to explain this inconsistency was ever done.
 * 7) * And finally, something really minor: Why do you use "the Bast Castle" rather than just "Bast Castle"? It just reads a little awkward to me when "the" precedes it.
 * 8) **Bah, meesa English is imperfect. Fixed.
 * 9) *Nice job. You've inspired me to work on something Dark Empire-related soon. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:16, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Thanks. It is always great to inspire someone. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:56, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Before anyone objects to this. There is absolutely no way to find out who voiced him in the audio drama. He is not credited in the ending narration of the audio drama itself, nor is his name written on the box of both the old casette version and the CD Collector's edition (thanks to and  for checking). A thorough Google check revealed nothing as well. The best candidate for being his voice actor is Jim Ward, since Nist's voice sounds almost identical to Sedriss's, who was portrayed by Ward; but I decided not to speculate and leave it ambiguous.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:26, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * You might consider merging the "Death" section into the one above. That short one-paragraph section really isn't balancing well with the others.  CC7567  (talk) 06:59, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Merged. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:42, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Pernicar

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:48, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WP:NSW to the rescue.

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) Absolutely. Love the character and the article. QuentinGeorge 07:08, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:15, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 23:58, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 04:48, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunny:
 * 2) * Early life: "Pernicar had three brothers." This really just sticks out in the paragraph and doesn't flow. Can you find somewhere else to integrate it, maybe into a longer sentence?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Life as a Jedi: In the first two sentences of this section can you change one or more of the "rank"s?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Life as a Jedi: "Mortull, noticing his former master, ran toward Pernicar, smiling and laughing as he made his way toward Pernicar." Can you vary one of the "toward Pernicar"s?
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * While I'm guessing there's not enough info for a P&a, is there any info on his powers or abilities that could be given a mention in the P&t? Maybe if he was able to use a lightsaber or something.
 * 9) **There's really nothing of note.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 00:39, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) Attack of the Clone
 * 12) * "In 1,010 BBY, Pernicar fought in a battle against the Sith." Can this battle get an article? The lack of a known location shouldn't stop it from being at least linked.
 * 13) **No article; created and linked.
 * 14) * Please vary all the "after"s in Death and legacy.  CC7567  (talk) 07:18, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:37, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Lensi

 * Nominated by: -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A far less complicated nom than Alema; Lensi was a Rogue Squadron pilot and one of the few Rogue Leaders who it's possible to FA without multitudinous resources. The bio's actually made more interesting by what may have been a CSWE error.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:47, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 18:09, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A shot of marinara:
 * 2) * No dates for Anni in the succession box? For the record, do not put "unknown" in there, either. Just leave it blank. (I took care of this last thing since I was in there.)
 * 3) **25 ABY, sorry about that. Thanks for checking it out! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***No problem. I will try to get to the rest of it sometime shortly. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:47, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:09, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Attack of the Clone
 * 7) * By "second mission" in the intro, I'm assuming that you mean the Third Battle of Duro; however, please clarify. (As in here on the FAN page, but if you feel the need to reword the intro, please do so; it wasn't immediately clear to me when I read it.)
 * 8) **It does refer to the Third Battle of Duro, but I can see how it might be misleading. Tell you what, if another reviewer has the same issue, I'll re-word it.
 * 9) ***That sounds fine.  CC7567  (talk) 18:09, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Can you clarify what "One Flight" is, as well as "Three Flight"? If I'm understanding the context correctly, they appear to warrant articles.
 * 11) * "The experience of fighting under false pretenses stayed with Lensi, and was relieved in 29 ABY following the Third Battle of Duro." Please check your word choice of "relieved"; I've read it over and over, but the sentence flow isn't smooth here and I can't tell what "relieved" refers to.
 * 12) **It's a typo! Meant to be "relived". Sorry bout that.
 * 13) * Please change around one of the "although"s in the P&T.
 * 14) **Done.
 * 15) *For the first time, I'm actually kind of familiar with a Legacy article's storyline, as I've recently read through the NEC. The article's detail makes it even more of an interesting read.  CC7567  (talk) 06:59, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks for the review CC, I'm glad you were interested by it! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 14:56, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Pictures are sadly stuff that relate to Lensi&hellip;succession boxes (which suck), list him as Rogue Leader in 40 ABY, which to the best of my knowledge is when Fury is placed in the timeline. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I will be on vacation for two weeks as of the 29th August; I am happy to respond to a plethora of objections on my return. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:56, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Murgoob

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 01:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first character nom. Please be gentle! ~ SavageBob 01:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 09:43, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 05:58, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:25, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just one thing: "His nephew then made an interesting proposition: what if the Duloks could steal the battlewagon and use it against the Ewoks? Murgoob was intrigued." - Could you phrase this to eliminate the question and merge the two sentences? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:06, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Thanks for your comments! How about now? ~ SavageBob 13:55, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Attack of the Clone
 * 4) *Both battles that he participated in should be linked (and since both are in the intro, should also at least get stubs).
 * 5) *"The Soul Trees grew larger, that of Erpham Warrick, the wagon's inventor, front and center." Please check this; it's extremely choppy and isn't flowing well.
 * 6) *"King Gorneesh showed some jealously at the respect other tribe members afforded the old Dulok, and he eagerly tried to show off his leadership skills in front of the Ewok-in-disguise, whom he took to be the genuine article." Is this really necessary to Murgoob's P&T? It sounds as if it would belong in Gorneesh's. Please either try to word it so that its relevancy to Murgoob's personality is clearer or eliminate it.
 * 7) *"Those who came to the oracle for advice saw not the elder himself, but his home, an old, decrepit, hollow tree stump somewhere on the outskirts of the Dulok Swamp. A pond ringed the hovel, and a trail of mossy stones served as a pathway to his short front door. To visit him, penitents had to make a perilous climb to the stump's entryway." Same as above. This wording doesn't clarify its relevancy or warrant its inclusion in the P&T; please try to word it better or remove it.
 * 8) *I would recommend trying to structure your P&T better. "Murgoob rarely ventured from his home" comes out of nowhere, and although it's grouped with the rest of the stuff about his home, the choppy word flow doesn't link it to the rest of the paragraph. You can say "Although Murgroob rarely ventured from his home, he received vistors in a manner" or something similar to help it flow better. (I would normally fix this myself, but as this is your first character article, I feel that you would benefit more from learning by experience.)
 * 9) *This isn't an objection, persay, but overall, the article's prose doesn't always seem appropriate to that of an encyclopedic entry. Some of it sounds like it came out of a storybook (literally), like what Tranner objected to above, and while it's grammatically fine, it's not exactly the right tone for the wiki's formal writing. It's up to you whether or not you want to change it, but I highly recommend it.  CC7567  (talk) 07:43, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Cracian thumper

 * Nominated by: jSarek
 * Nomination comments: The new info in the Rebellion Era Campaign Guide finally let me get this critter up over a thousand words. jSarek 03:40, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Looks good! Hopefully we'll get more color pics of these guys in future sources. ~ SavageBob 14:08, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Never mind, I've just read the comment. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:45, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 05:14, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 07:14, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Your missing a source for one of the infobox items. Though I could guess it was the same source as the others, I'm not certain so I'll leave it to you.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:32, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Cited to the source that indicates they have "intelligence equal to most domestic pets". jSarek 05:58, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) There is a colour pic of a Cracian in the Reb Era sourcebook. It should be in there and possibly even the infobox pic. --Eyrezer 07:28, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Added and made the infobox pic. jSarek 08:21, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 6) * Although the capitalization varies from source to source, I think the article should be internally consistent. I noticed a few "Cracian thumpers" in there with the "Cracian Thumpers."
 * 7) **It should, and I'm surprised I've let some through. However, having looked through the sources again, I need to figure out which capitalization to stick with.  See the article talk page. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Can you add some notes to the "Biology and appearance" section about fur colors? The visual references at the very least should provide some clues as to what color they are.
 * 9) **The only color picture of the Cracian thumper is the one seen in the infobox . . . and given how stylized it is, I really can't tell what color it is. It could be grey, brown, or even white (and well shadowed) in that pic. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * This may just be my preference, but anytime I can offer a hard date, I like to do so. In this article, for instance, you could add the precise dates for things like the Thrawn campaign, the establishment of Echo Base, and a lot of the stuff in the final paragraph of the "History" section. This makes it easier for the reader to get a grasp on when these things happened, in my opinion.
 * 11) **Hard date given for the Jomark rider. Echo Base was constructed over a long enough a period, though, I don't think a precise date for deciding to domesticate tauntauns can be inferred.  The stuff in the (former) last paragraph is already dated as precisely as the source - about four months after Hoth. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * In what capacity do they appear in Lords of the Expanse and Tapani Sector Instant Adventures? If it's in actual adventures rather than as background material, these sources (and possibly the actual adventures) should be moved to "Appearances" rather than "Sources."
 * 13) **The former is source material, but you're right, the second is as part of an adventure; article has been adjusted accordingly. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *I'm really glad you decided to devote some time to these critters! Good work, and I hope to support very soon! ~ SavageBob 20:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks. :-) jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Blacklist:
 * 17) *A couple of minor BtS things:
 * 18) * "Capitalization of the creature's name has varied between "Cracian thumper," "Cracian Thumper," and "cracian thumper" across sources." Can you source this?
 * 19) **Sure can. A little unwieldy, but citations to a representative selection for each has been added. jSarek 05:10, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * "Thumpers share a very similar outward physiology to another riding beast, the rockhopper of Biitu and Roon." This as well?
 * 21) **Added a note that I think should be sufficient. jSarek 05:10, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *Otherwise, quite interesting. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 00:44, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Attack of the Clone
 * 24) * Per Rule 13, please find at least one quote for the article.
 * 25) **I was just about to protest this as impossible until I realized The Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook's section on them was written by an old friend of mine. How silly of me!  Quotes added, not only to the lead, but to all sections save the Bts. jSarek 06:42, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Not exactly an objection, but please try to link the colonist messenger in the last sentence of the History's third paragraph.  CC7567  (talk) 07:57, September 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Done. jSarek 06:42, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * How about including the concept painting on which the thumpers are based? Maybe in BTS? ~ SavageBob 20:27, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Problem is, I'm not sure which one was the inspiration. There are several sketches in the The Illustrated Star Wars Universe that might fit the bill, but the only place where it's confirmed that the Thumpers are based on Tauntaun art is a comment by Leland Chee in this blog, which doesn't clarify which art it refers to. jSarek 04:47, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Hmm, I see your point. Perhaps you could include one of them and say something to the effect of "The Cracian Thumper's appearance was based on early concept art of the tauntaun, such as this painging by [artist]." It just feels wrong to have such a great opportunity to show off some concept art and not take it. But if you feel that would be misleading, I can see that perspective too. :) ~ SavageBob 12:18, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I've added one of the pics and merely noted it was tauntaun concept artwork. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Capitalization has been changed to match the plurality of sources. jSarek 04:34, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm going to be traveling to Idaho for the next couple of weeks, to a location without Internet reception (or phone lines, for that matter, but that's another story entirely). I should be back in mid-September, so don't fret if I don't address objections before then; I'll get to them upon my return.  Thanks to all who review the article in the interim. :-) jSarek 03:05, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Quoreal

 * Nominated by: -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Xim the Despot of the Yuuzhan Vong&mdash;never seen, only referenced. His story is brought together from snippets of information across several books and sources, so it should be a concise and non-narrative read. Reflecting the disparate nature of the info, I've referenced the article to page numbers, or chapters when describing big events. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:47, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 18:48, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Marinara:
 * 2) * Same thing as Lensi. Can you complete the succession box? &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:46, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. Sorry for the same mistake twice -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:47, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***No worries. It is easy to forget about. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:44, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Menkooroo 04:57, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *From the behind the scenes section: "In The New Jedi Order Sourcebook, published in 2002 when The New Jedi Order series was still four years away from its finale in 2005"... The last part of that sentence needs all kinds of changing. Menkooroo 04:57, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Done. Thanks for checking it out. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 14:39, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Attack of the Clone
 * 9) * Are you entirely sure that every part of the intro currently in there is necessary? About a fourth of it is basically his legacy, and I can't see exactly why it needs that much detail. Please shorten it if possible.
 * 10) **I took out the last sentence and trimmed some fat, but I was largely making use of the precendent of Xendor for this FA, which is similarly structured due to the fact that more is known of the results of the character's actions than the actions themselves.
 * 11) * Please try to clarify earlier in the Bts what the "penultimate installment" of the NJO series actually is.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) * As with the intro, I'm going to ask you to check if all the detail in his legacy is necessary. Ultimately, I'm going to be relying on your judgment in the end, but please make sure that you feel that the current level of detail is appropriate.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **I've removed several lines of what could be seen as extraneous, but indeed much of the character's life becomes relevant in the last two novels and in the story of the Yuuzhan Vong redemption, which is one of the over-arching storylines of The New Jedi Order. I'm a bit of a sucker for Legacy sections, but I don't feel I've overwrought this one. Most of the sentences pertain to mentions of Quoreal in the two novels. Thanks for the review -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:23, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Hopefully a better image of Zonama Sekot is included in the Atlas? If not I'll include the one on this article. Finally, this sentence on CUSWE "Others began to wonder if Quoreal had wanted to find a peace with the New Republic and learn more about Zonama Sekot, since the planet seemed to provide a linkage between the Yuuzhan Vong and the peoples of the Republic." no doubt has some grounding, but I can't find the reference following a mind-numbingly dull search of The Unifying Force. I'll keep looking, but for the time being I'd like to nominate him. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * As with Lensi; I'm away for two weeks from the 29th August and it is unlikely that I will be able to deal with objections pertaining to Quoreal. If things move fast and only a little thing is holding it up, however, one of the Inqs is free to make any changes they like to get the article off the queue. If there need to be sweeping changes though, I'll deal with them on my return. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 00:00, 29 August 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Kadavo

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:41, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yet another TCW comic battle...

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 22:14, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro-"Following some links that led them to Zygerria, Skywalker, Kenobi, Tano and Captain CC-7567 infiltrated the auction and tried to rescue the Togrutas, but were eventually captured by the Zygerrians and enslaved." Quite confusing, who is "them"? This sentence sounds like "them" went to "Zygerria, Skywalker, Kenobi, Tano and Captain CC-7567." Clarify.
 * 3) **Reworded.
 * 4) *Good work, QuiGon :)  JangFett  Talk 15:06, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks. Stay tuned for more comic battles :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:55, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Great. :D  JangFett  Talk 22:14, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Attack of the Clone
 * 8) * Basically, there's two intro paragraphs dedicated to the prelude itself rather than the battle, and only an extremely scanty third paragraph on the battle itself. No matter how complex the Slaves of the Republic story is, there should not be this huge a lack of balance. Please do some reworking.
 * 9) **That was tough to do, but I did some rewording. As you noted, the story is quite complex and a lot of stuff needs context; I tried to shorten the amount of detail, but did not succeed much. Therefore, there is still two prelude paragraphs, though I believe that they are better balanced with the battle now.
 * 10) ***To make sure that you're confident of this, please ask yourself whether you believe that every single detail in there is necessary for the reader to gain the most basic understanding of the article's subject, which is what intros are for.  CC7567  (talk) 19:05, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****I did ask myself that question, and I believe that it is necessary for the reader to know the intentions of the two combatants, i.e. that Skywalker wanted to rescue the slaves and Kenobi, and that Dooku wanted to kill the Togrutas. However, further context is needed as to how Kenobi ended up on Kadavo and why Dooku wanted the Togrutas dead, or the article won't make much sense. Squeezing all this information into two paragraphs is quite hard; squeezing it further seems unrealistic to me. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:10, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * As you're fixing the above objection, please keep this in mind: the Battle of Kiros currently does not seem to be worded appropriately in the intro. The intro's chronology is making it read like a summary of the history of the Togrutas instead of being focused on the Battle of Kadavo. Try taking it out where it currently is and mentioning it later as "The Jedi followed the slaves' trail to Kadavo after liberating Kiros" or something, but it's not working in its current state.
 * 13) **Hopefully addressed in the intro rewrite. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:25, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***That goes for "Meanwhile, the Confederate leader Count Dooku tried to worsen the reputation of the Jedi Order by spreading word that the Jedi had destroyed the planet's population." as well. Also, this isn't linked well to Dooku's fear that he would be unmasked as a liar.  CC7567  (talk) 19:05, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ****How's it now? QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:10, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *There's a rather noticeable jump from Skywalker and Tano's escape from Zygerria in the Prelude to the sudden arrival of Republic forces at Kadavo in the Battle section. This needs to be smoothed out.
 * 17) *Please somehow include the Keeper's summons of Kenobi and Rex before Skywalker and Tano arrived. It doesn't necessarily have to go in the Prelude, but can be worded when it becomes relevant in the Battle section. The story isn't clear otherwise.
 * 18) *Please vary all the sentences that start with "as".
 * 19) *Shadow Squadron is in the infobox and yet nowhere in the body. Please also get in Ventress's "entrance" into the battle.
 * 20) *No matter how well-placed a blaster shot is, and regardless of which IU characters say that it is, no blaster shot can be "lucky" if we're trying to get rid of POV-oriented writing.
 * 21) *What "Republic reinforcements that had recently arrived"? The perspective of this article is starting to resemble that of a person reading the comic instead of an omniscient perspective, which is what history should be written from. Yes, historians are often limited, but in this case, we know the story and should be able to word it to the best of our abilities. Please try to check for and fix this throughout the article.
 * 22) *So even after the Trident has clamped onto the transport, Ventress is still continuing her "attack run"? Also, there's another plot hole with the jump from here to the suddenly-cornered Jedi. Please fix these.  CC7567  (talk) 06:09, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * A note on your readdition of the "world" link in the intro: you've already linked "planet" for Kadavo at the beginning of the intro, which is why I removed it the first time and why I've now reverted it back.  CC7567  (talk) 19:05, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Skirmish at Vanqor

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:55, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Well, I have to get the rest of the battles done sometime. Slightly over 1000 words.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:42, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks clean to me --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 14:54, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * 1) *The gundark as a civilian casualty drew a chuckle, but I guess it's accurate. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 14:55, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

Funeral of Marka Ragnos

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 08:01, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Something I created as a noob, and perfected as a vet.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:53, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I read the article, then went to re-read the omnibus containing these events. Only wish LFL could make this into a good movie.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:15, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) You are right, Tommy. This has come a long way. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:15, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:31, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) * "coveted sixth position" I assume that this is the position where he presides over the ceremony based on what you later say in Kressh's section. Anyway, I don't think this bit here is necessary, since it leads the reader wondering what that position is.
 * 3) **Should be good now.
 * 4) * "His claim was met with hostility by Kressh." Not sure if claim is the right word here, since he didn't claim anything, just arrived, right?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *Good work overall.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:47, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Appreciate the review, Chack. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 14:30, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Harrar
 * 9) * In the intro, "A duel of Sith swords" doesn't read right, unless I'm reading it wrong?
 * 10) **Should be good now.
 * 11) * In the first paragraph of the funeral, I think you need to qualify "the slaves, whose lives were of little consequence" so it doesn't sound POV. I.e. Who were the slaves' lives of little consequence to.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * Not an objection, but did you not want quotations for each of the participants?
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) *I've come to recognise the unique style of your writing Tommy, and I gotta say that its always a pleasure to read. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:11, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks, Harrar, I really appreciate that. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 04:03, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Attack of the Clone
 * 18) * Is there any way you can nix all the "unidentified"s in the infobox? It's not in the actual body of the article, but this should not be cause for an OOU perspective.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) *Please at least link the duel between Ragnos and Simus.  CC7567  (talk) 06:27, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **Theree is no article for said duel to my knowledge, mainly because the details are so scarce. I can create a stub if you like, so just let me know. Anyhow, thanks for the review, CC. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:15, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***I'd prefer if you do, since it sounds like it's possible. If it isn't, please clarify why.  CC7567  (talk) 02:29, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Is it a conjectural title? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:02, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * It is not. Naga Sadow says, "I have come to take my place at the funeral of Marka Ragnos." —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 14:30, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Couldn't the Wook's interview with Carrasco, Jr. be considered a source rather than a "See also" thing? On Tott Donetta's article the interview with Gossett is considered a source.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:49, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * No, it's just the same as any other interview with anyone on another site or author comments, which aren't considered sources. I fixed Tott's article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:06, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Tarsus Valorum

 * Nominated by: <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk)
 * Nomination comments: Change We Can Believe In.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) Not as catchy as "I believe in Harvey Dent", but "I believe in Tarsus Valorum". On a serious note, did a good job, Rhea. Look forward to going over your next FA nom.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:18, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Maybe not, Kasra; but the battle cry is "I believe in Brandon Rhea," no? &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:57, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:59, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Sweet as for a first nom. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:48, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Pasta Bowl of Fiolli:
 * 2) * "A member and potentially the progenitor&hellip;" Is this speculation in-universe? If not, it needs to be removed.
 * 3) **Weird. I could've sworn it was in the New Essential Chronology. Looking back on it, it seems that it's not.
 * 4) * "Valorum secured the funds and Othone, before his death&hellip;" Whose death?
 * 5) * "Tarsus Valorum was a Human male born in 1,050 BBY on Coruscant&hellip;" The infobox states that he was born circa 1,050 BBY. These need to be reconciled. (Note: If it says he was fifty in 1,000 BBY it does not mean he was born in 1,050 BBY. That only means it was approximately that year. No different than someone being born in December of 1990 but being nine in August of 2000.)
 * 6) * "During the final days of the New Sith Wars, a galaxy-wide armed conflict&hellip;" This sentence is a run-on and is a little too convoluted.
 * 7) * "To this end, Valorum devised a series of Republic-wide reforms&hellip;" It is mentioned above (in the article) that he had already begun tinkering with these ideas from the time he rose to power. There is a disconnect with this statement which overtly implies that he started this work after the war ended.
 * 8) * "While the Senate was responsible for passing laws, Valorum wanted to ensure that he would have the support of the Order." Why? Is there a reason ever given in the text?
 * 9) **I added a brief reasoning at the end of the sentence. It's not a reasoning per say, but it's doable I think. It's also in the text (Page 98). - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:40, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ***No, that works fine. The clarification helps codify the point. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:46, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * The subheading "post-chancellorship" might be better served as something relating to diplomacy or diplomatic missions. I suggest this because the beginning of the first paragraph goes into the extension of his tenure through a second term and the pushing through of the reformations.
 * 12) **Changed to "Diplomatic efforts." I'm not really a fan of that name, so if you have any other suggestions that would be great. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:40, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ***I understand, but it does appear more apt right now.
 * 14) * "&hellip;it did seemingly have drawbacks." Seemingly is a weasel word and needs clarification. Why did it "seem?" To whom did it "seem?" etc.
 * 15) **Well it seemed that way due to the information stated right after that. If that's still a weasel word because of it, I can't specify who it seemed to, but just saying it had drawbacks would probably be POV. Am I wrong in thinking that removing seemingly would make "drawbacks" POV? - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:40, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***The two together is not of npov. Drawbacks alone boarders on it, in a way, as well. I understand what you are trying to say. I would put that it had something along the lines of 'unintended consequences' or 'ultimately fostered the very things it aimed to remove.' Something like that deflects away from a perception-based view. After all, the Trade Federation loved the reforms ultimately. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:46, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "&hellip;a descendant of Tarsus Valorum&hellip;" This needs to be cited as it does not come from Episode I.
 * 18) * "&hellip;like many citizens of the Republic&hellip;" Is that from Rule of Two? It seems like an over-generalization that is not of npov.
 * 19) *Not a bad first FAN. Nice choice of individual, as well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:02, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks. Your objections have been corrected, save for the one with "seemingly" due to my response (above) being a question. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:40, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Attack of the Clone
 * 22) *The chronology in "Early life" isn't working very well. You say that he was elected, then talk about the election, and then that he took the role after Farfalla declined. This can be organized better rather than just a jumble of redundant facts, which is what it basically is in its current state.
 * 23) **I personally don't see anything wrong with the way it is. It's giving context on the election. If you have a suggestion for how to improve it, though, I'll gladly do so. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 04:54, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***The context on the election essentially isn't stopping the paragraph from being choppy. If the chronology isn't currently set in stone (which is what I'm assuming), it could be worded something like this: "During the final days of the New Sith Wars, a galaxy-wide armed conflict between the Jedi Order and the Sith Brotherhood of Darkness, Valorum was a candidate for the office of the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic. Though Jedi Master Valenthyne Farfalla was in line to take the position, the Jedi declined in order to fight with the Army of Light during the Russan campaign, the last campaign of the war. With Farfalla out of the running, Valorum took up the mantle of leader of the Republic as the first non-Jedi Chancellor in over a hundred years." I would check to see if that's factually correct as well as if it suits you before you adopt it, though.  CC7567  (talk) 07:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Added that, albeit with a few tweaks. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:17, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Please vary "representation".
 * 27) **Removed two, kept two. Did you want me to remove another or is it looking good now? - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 04:54, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***It's fine.  CC7567  (talk) 07:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Beginning in 124 BBY, the Federation used its power to buy votes from poorer sectors. The Federation attempted to exploit this": please clarify what you're referring to with "this"; it sounds like the Federation is trying to exploit its own actions.
 * 30) *A very good read for a first-anything here. This last one isn't really an objection, but more a comment: would you consider implementing one or two relevant images in the article? It's a bit boring in that respect, and while this superficial element isn't a requirement, it may make it look better.  CC7567  (talk) 03:09, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **Any relevant images you can think of? I'm not really familiar with the choices. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 04:54, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***You could try images of Farfalla, Bane, or even Coruscant. It can basically be anything related to Valorum...within reason, meaning that it should have some importance in its relevancy to him.  CC7567  (talk) 07:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****IMO, none of those really seem relevant to him. A picture of Farfalla fighting, or a picture of Bane doing something, or an image of Coruscant doesn't really strike me as being relevant to Valorum. Unfortunately, any image of relevance to him, sans the infobox image, doesn't really exist from what I can tell. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 17:17, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * My first featured article nomination on Wookieepedia. Let ‘er rip. - <font color="#1A2BBB">Brandon Rhea Alliance Starbird.svg <font color="#1A2BBB">(talk) 02:33, 24 August 2009 (UTC)

Sauvax

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:28, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From WookieeProject: Aliens and also from its sub-project, SkippyProject: Aliens Beginning with an S.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) Another excellent showing from Skippy. Looking forward to the next S alien up your sleeve. ~ SavageBob 15:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:11, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 01:27, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Good stuff. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 16:01, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "As the planet Leritor had little to offer to the galaxy," Why did Leritor have little to offer the galaxy? Just a brief note of context, please.
 * 3) ** Changed. Galactic community did not care about it, no commercial interests...
 * 4) * Is there a name for their language?
 * 5) ** Yes. Sauvax. Already specified.
 * 6) ***That's actually not what I meant, but since I can't remember what I did mean, no worries.
 * 7) * I'm not familiar with this so correct me if I'm wrong: should "kuuvan" when referring to the tribe be capitalized?
 * 8) ** No, as the original source does not do it.
 * 9) * If "tevelor" is its own designation, I think you may want to create a stub or something regarding that.
 * 10) ** Added.
 * 11) * "The Sauvax, as said, hunt, fish and grow their food, which also included sea brackens, sea urchins, anemonae and crustaceans, in different states of cooking." Not sure where, but this single sentence needs to be added to a paragraph.
 * 12) ** Modified.
 * 13) * "Aliens and Humans commonly saw Sauvax as an aggresive and hasty people, fortunately without imperialistic tendencies." Fortunately for whom? This seems a bit POVish.
 * 14) ** Changed.
 * 15) * "they respected their own politeness norms." Not sure what you mean by that.
 * 16) ** Modified.
 * 17) * "An accused collective..." What is an "accused collective"? Please explain a bit.
 * 18) ** Modified.
 * 19) *I'll stop here for now. You may want to contact someone, probably for a proper copy-edit. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 01:40, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ** Thanks for the review; I'll try a copy-edit myself first if I can find some time, but I'll keep Jonathan in mind. And, congratulations on the August 4th event.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:03, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Tommy asked me on IRC last night, so I went ahead and did a full copyedit. I was actually halfway through it last night, but Wikia broke. (What the kriff is a Stomp_Exception supposed to be anyway?!?) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 23:13, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Thank you then, Jonathan; more thanks in your talkpage. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:26, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 24) * The Sauvax images in the article seem to show that they have "skin" tones beyond red. I see shades of blue and pink/salmon as well.
 * 25) ** Added (to the template)
 * 26) *** Can you add this to the "Biology and appearance" part too? It's a major part of their appearance, I think. ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **** Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Is crab an in-universe term? If not, we need to choose an equivalent.
 * 29) ** It is: Vonduun, LM-432, Berbersian, Hitcher, Sink crabs... No change.
 * 30) *** OK, fair enough. Please link the term and write at least a stub for it, though. ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **** Stubbed with little interest. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * "While fearsome looking": I feel we need to qualify this more. Fearsome-looking to whom? Humans, presumably?
 * 33) ** Added.
 * 34) * The lead section should be beefed up a bit. I'd suggest adding a paragraph that summarizes the article's history section, particularly the roleplaying adventure.
 * 35) ** Try now.
 * 36) * "It was also threatening for Humans who coexisted with Sauvax in the same ecosystem." I'm not sure what you mean here.
 * 37) ** Modified.
 * 38) * I realize what you're doing, but I don't think the name-dropping of other species is necessary. For example, if the Sauvax are primitive but still able to use galactic-standard technology, just leave it there. There's not much need for a comparison to Jawas, Ewoks, and Gamorreans. This happens in a few other places, too.
 * 39) ** Hmm... What if I leave that info in the footnotes? Have a look now. Then say you don't like it, then I'll remove the info and you'll have to check it again.
 * 40) * Some notes on diet are appropriate for the "biology" section as well. Maybe use "biology" to say what they eat and "culture" to say how they eat it?
 * 41) ** Added.
 * 42) * What do you mean by "primitive professional careers"?
 * 43) ** Try now.
 * 44) * What do you mean by "the suspicious party"?
 * 45) ** Changed. I'm not familiar with legal terms...
 * 46) ***You might also try "the accused". ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * The material that comes from the roleplaying adventure, at least from the point where the player characters become involved, should be set off with the and  templates. Then, any possible variations need to be explained in the "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 48) ** No, because: First, I did not specify the different scenarios the PC's can follow (Maybe they visited a kuuvan, maybe they didn't, so I don't say); only those that are canonically specified (Rynalla is seen with the Bracers in an image, so she got them). Sfecond: Ultimate Alien Anthology specifies events happening after the adventure, indicating the results of it (Similar to sources mentioning that "allies of Adar Tallon defeated Jodo Kast").
 * 49) *** OK, if you do it this way it's fine. However, I think it would still be a good idea to note any potential variants in the adventure in the BTS section. ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) **** Added, while I don't think they are very interesting. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * What do you mean by the "constant light of Rynalla's watchtowers"? Are these searchlights?
 * 52) ** Yep. Added.
 * 53) * What do you mean by "they sometimes felt the need to explore terrains beyond the usual ecosystem of their species"?
 * 54) ** Try now. The source wanted to give cause for RPG with outworld Sauvax, but I wanted to follow strictly the letter of the text.
 * 55) *These should all be relatively easy to fix. Good work so far! ~ SavageBob 02:59, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) ** I feel Sauvaxed. Savaged. Whatever. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ***Well, it's getting less savage with each edit. :P ~ SavageBob 22:26, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) Eyrezer:
 * 59) * Any chance of a pic of Sauvax meat from the non-canon comic?
 * 60) ** Yes, but not today. I can offer you a pic of dead Sauvax today if you want. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ***If there are any other pictures in Gamer, there should be plenty of room for it if you shuffle them around. --Eyrezer 11:34, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) **** Don't cross this objection yet; meal pic will be available next week. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:44, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Your scorched Sauvax is ready. Bon appetit. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:28, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) *****Considering we cannot really see the meal at all, only the bowl, you might want to remove it. Either way, I've removed my objection. --Eyrezer 01:26, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * Have you checked the CSWE?
 * 66) **Apparently, not there. --Eyrezer 11:32, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * I've also added a few red links for you to clear. Sorry about that.
 * 68) * One more thought: is there enough info to create articles for the various other Sauvax involved? The female witnessm the farmer etc. --Eyrezer 10:12, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) ** No way, sorry. The tevelor is already here by the chitinous skin of his teeth. Jango's food would have more stuff for an article :( --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) Attack of the Clone
 * 71) *Please check or clarify your "and Rynalla the Bracers"; I can't understand what you mean by it.
 * 72) **Done.
 * 73) *Is there any chance that you can standardize the paragraph size of the article? It's a bit uneven at the moment.  CC7567  (talk) 03:34, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) **Done my best, but I wouldn't know how to use a five-line paragraph in every situation. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:52, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Duel on Cophrigin V

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 21:50, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This duel was awesome. I've always liked the Dark Woman.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Everything looks good.LtNOWIS 04:12, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 06:42, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) It's good.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:45, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) You need to comment in the Bts about its transition from Infinities to canon. --Eyrezer 06:19, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed via IRC. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 06:31, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) QGJ
 * 4) * What source establishes this as the final event of the Great Jedi Purge? To my knowledge, it is not stated in the comic.
 * 5) **It is not explicitly stated in the comic. Palpatine, Vader, and An'ya Kuro allude several times to this being the end of the Jedi Purge. And the comic is called "Extinction". —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 12:53, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Allusion is not enough to assume this kind of thing, IMO. True, Palpatine's and Vader's words establish it as one of the final events of the Purge, but there is still not enough evidence that it was the final event. And I don't think we can use comic titles for reference; Empire's End wasn't really the end of the Empire, was it? QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:26, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****No, Empire's End wasn't the end of the Empire per se, but it was the end of Palpatine, and the Empire as it was known under him. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 21:07, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Ok, maybe this wasn't a very good example. Anyway, I still think it is too much of an assumption to call this duel the end of the Purge until some source explicitly says that it was. I mean, how come we know that Vader didn't kill another Jedi right after Kuro? For example, it is not known if the Battle of Shumari took place before or after the duel on Cophrigin V. And if it happened after, maybe Shumari was considered to be the final event of the Purge.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:39, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ******Addressed.
 * 10) * Was it ever referred to as the "Duel on Cophrigin V"? If not, it needs the Conjecture tag.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 17:54, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Why would it need a conjecture tag? It's not like i called it "Hapydance on Cophrigin V", or "Epic Confrontation on Cophrigin V". It is a "duel" that occurred on "Cophrigin V", and common sense has it named for what it is. Though, if it is ultimately decided that one is needed, I have no problem with that. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 12:28, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ***It would certainly be the most logical assumption to call it a duel. However, we do not know what name future sources may come up with. It may indeed be called "Duel on Cophrigin V", but it could also be "Confrontation on Cophrigin V", "Showdown on Cophrigin V", etc. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:26, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Well, if and when future sources name the "Duel on Cophrigin V" as something other than that, we can change it. Unless a more substantial reason to add a conjecture tag can be provided, I believe the current title is sufficient. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 21:07, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *****If it's not referred to by that name in the comic then it is a conjectural title (because it's one we've come up with ourselves, even if it follows canon precedent and makes sense and would be the likely name for it were one ever given to us in canon) - if it is referred to by that name then it's not a conjectural title. I've added the tag accordingly, obviously if it's ever given that canon name it can be removed or whatever. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:27, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources.
 * I don't think you can source the date of this duel to Extinction. The comic itself provides no date, the story could just as well be set in 0 BBY. I checked several secondary sources after my last reading of the comic, but couldn't verify an exact date. TNEGTC places it "shortly before the battle of Yavin", so 1-0 BBY may be more appropriate. --<font color="orange" face="monotype corsiva">Borsk Fey'lya  <font color="black" face="monotype corsiva">Talk 18:04, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Addressed. Thank you for that bit of information. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 21:36, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

Saul Karath

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Perhaps I should have called the successive noms of Bandon, Malak, Nord, and now Karath, "Project: Bad Guys of KotOR". Guess now is better than never, hence here is Part 4 of the project, Saul Karath. Let 'em rip.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Looking at the length of the intro compared to the article, I can say without checking the content that the intro is much too long.  Graestan ( Talk ) 17:36, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I shortened it a little, see what you think. I understood the shortening of the Nord and Bandon intros, but I think Karath has enough background to justify three paragraphs.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:25, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm waiting for the results of this, then the article will have a few more links, such as a link to Nord's ambush of Revan, and such. Also, full credit goes to Nayayen for uploading these three images. Finally, this article will be updated as new info, such as from the comics, is released.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:25, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

Seyugi Dervishes

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:42, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Was just gonna nominate it for the GA, but after working with Master Jonathan, it's now at 1,042 words. So let 'em rip.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:42, 28 August 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Gurion Silizzar

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:25, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Restless I feel my mind wander...

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Good work, Chack. Just watch your linking. :)  JangFett  Talk 00:00, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:08, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * One thing: In the main quote, it says, "No, I don't want money for you." I don't have the book, so it may or may not be correct, but shouldn't it be "from you"? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 02:29, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * "For you". Like, turning him in for a bounty.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:41, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * Context of the quote would seem to indicate otherwise, but whatever. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:08, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Skirmish at Sinkhole Station

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 03:22, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A battle; Abyss, of course

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:25, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:07, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:41, September 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * This is more of a comment. Vhai went to Dathomir after the duel, right? Did the Skywalkers talk about chasing her there? If so, I think you should add that bit to Aftermath.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:34, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * They don't do that until Backlash (in the excerpt in the back of Abyss), but I added a little info to the aftermath. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:21, September 5, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Abyss yet. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 13:01, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

Minch

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 23:43, 29 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: For the record, he is not Yoda.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Support this, I do.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 12:20, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:22, September 12, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Before I read it, can you find places to break up the two walls of text? Both the second paragraph of the "Mission to the Bpfassh system" section and "The Dark Side Cave" section could be broken up into to two or three paragraphs each.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:25, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed.

Comments

HK-47

 * Nominated by: JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:42, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Statement: This time, optimal quality is guaranteed.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Optimal accuracy ratio achieved. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just because I helped in the beginning, don't think this'll be easy :P
 * 2) * "After the significant loss of life at the Battle of Malachor V, Revan constructed HK-47 as an alternative as he no longer felt destruction of such a scale necessary for his goals." This is confusing and it was already stated in the sentence before that Revan created HK.
 * 3) **Hopefully clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "The droid went on to help Revan find the Star Forge once more." Revan found the Star Forge before? What is the Star Forge?
 * 5) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context on T3, Jedi Exile, GO-TO in the intro.
 * 7) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "were found by GO-TO and used for his purposes." This is too vague.
 * 9) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The Exile finally repaired HK-47, who went on to defeat G0-T0 with help from HK-50 droids he persuaded to join the Exile." Why would he need to defeat GO-TO? What was the Exile trying to do?
 * 11) **Re-worded for better understanding. I don't think we need to go into too much detail over GO-TO's goals in the intro. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:14, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "given a new body." Why would he need a new body, what happened to the old one? You should probably mention that he was in the ship as well.
 * 13) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 14) * "This battle climaxed in a showdown between these spacers" What spacers? Were they the ones decieved by HK?
 * 15) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 16) * "HK-47's programming resulted in his enjoyment of bloodshed, and he took pleasure in any sort of violence, even describing his work as a form of art. He had a relatively condescending opinion towards organics, and made a habit of branding all organic lifeforms meatbags." I don't know if this is really neccisary, it's just a footnote disjointed from the intro.
 * 17) **Removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 18) *That's it for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:31, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Context on Nar Shaddaa. It should also be stated that GO-TO is a droid.
 * 20) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 21) * As it reads now, the first paragraph jumps from his creation to his capture. There should be a mention that he was set on missions by Revan.
 * 22) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 23) * The first two sentences begin the article by saying that he was created at the beginning of the Jedi Civil War, then they say that he was created in the wake of Malachor V (I reworded this part a little but it was there before) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:12, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Rewritten. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:35, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:12, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) Nayayen
 * 27) * There is a fair bit of underlinking throughout. Don't forget that links shouldn't be unique to the intro and infobox just as much as information can't be.
 * 28) **After my copyedit I've also found cases of overlinking. For example, Visas Marr is not linked but Sith apprentice is linked at least twice in the body. Just remember: 1 link in intro, 1 in body, 1 in infobox and 1 in each image caption (if the latter two apply). Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **I've since linked and unlinked most of the ones that I could find, if you still see any, feel free to point them out and I'll take care of them immediately. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 30) * In the intro, where did Revan find HK again?
 * 31) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 32) * "Revan decided that more droids of this design would make efficient agents for his purposes." -What are his purposes?
 * 33) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 34) * Am I not correct in thinking that the Sand People then let Revan hear from their storyteller? HK-47 would translate for both parties as before but would often advise against responses that may offend the storyteller.
 * 35) **Actually Revan meets directly with the chieftain while HK provides translation. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 36) ***That is correct but I am fairly certain that you can meet with the storyteller if you fully follow the quest through. For starters, most of what the storyteller's lines (or rather, HK's translations) have the "Sound Resref" of "nm20aaxsto-"; you can check yourself. If you give the chieftain a krayt dragon pearl then he will deem you worthy enough to meet the storyteller. Please look into it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) ****Yeah, you're correct. I was never generous enough to give them my pearl, so I didn't recall this happening. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 38) * "was honored with Revan's other companions as heroes of the Republic, possibly even being awarded the Cross of Glory" -He either was or wasn't awarded it. There shouldn't be speculation about it.
 * 39) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 40) ***I can't find any reference to him being awarded it in the TSL tlk file. Do you have the StrRef for it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I watched the ending of KOTOR again and Dodonna states that she's "proud to honor each of you with the Cross of Glory," which I think makes it a safe assumption that HK-47 received it as well. If you disagree, I'd be perfectly fine with removing any mention of the award. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 42) * '"The attack failed when the Jedi Exile, Visas Marr, Nihilus's former Sith apprentice; and the current Mandalore, Canderous Ordo, along with a large force of Mandalorians boarded Nihilus's flagship, the Ravager, killed Nihilus, and destroyed the ship."'' -This is very disjointed, please fix it.
 * 43) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 44) * You need to put the P&t quote into.
 * 45) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 46) * How could you not even mention his definition of love in the P&t?
 * 47) **Good question, fixed with pleasure. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 48) * "The droid also found attacking a Jedi's allies, as Jedi would often sacrifice themselves to save an ally." -This sentence doesn't make sense.
 * 49) **Not sure what happened here, but fixed nonetheless. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 50) * Who, if anyone, voiced him in SWG?
 * 51) **After checking IMDB pages for both HK and Tabori, it doesn't appear he has a VA in Galaxies, although I'm unfamiliar with the game, and could be mistaken. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 52) ***Well, knowing that IMDB isn't always reliable, can you check with someone who has it? Someone in WP:SWG should be willing and able. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ****I've just had it confirmed by Fett 1138 that HK-47 doesn't have a voice actor in SWG. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 54) * Does his Force alignment differ between KotOR and TSL?
 * 55) **If it does it doesn't differ noticeably. He starts very dark-sided in both games. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 56) * I don't think this is something that you yourself might be able to fix but can you see about having the "companions of Revan" succession box made the same style as "companions of the Jedi Exile"?
 * 57) **I'll look into it, but I'm admittedly not very good with dealing with that sort of stuff. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 58) **This is overstepping the bounds of the FAN process, to put it politely. You don't want to hear what I really think of this kind of nonsensical objection. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:16, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **FWIW, I did modify the template for consistency's sake, if nothing else. It now matches the KOTOR II template. 22:31, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***My apologies Culator, I meant to have this as a comment and not an objection. Thank you Fraajic for sorting it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * The URL references all need to use.
 * 62) **I'm unfortunately terrible when dealing with refs, so would it be too much to ask for you to fix one as an example? Then I'd know exactly what to do and would fix the rest myself. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 63) ***Certainly, it took me ages to figure them out myself... I've done Ref13. One thing to note is that accessdate needs the format yyyy/mm/dd. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Ok, I fixed the refs, but I did end up listing the Team Gizka one multiple times because I couldn't get the ref name to work. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 65) *****They work the same as normal refs but instead of SOURCE for the first one, you put in the Cite web template. I've fixed them for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Ref No.6 (kotorcg) needs fixing.
 * 67) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 68) * Some of the categories seem a little odd, specifically the "culture" ones. Can you find any more suitable ones?
 * 69) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 70) * I can't believe that there aren't more interwiki links. Please check the list and see if any more languages have HK-47 yet.
 * 71) **LtNOWIS seems to have done this. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) *I may find some more after I do a copyedit this weekend. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *Four more for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) ** "Separatist scientists began studying design elements of HK-47" -who are the Separatists? Someone who doesn't know that the CIS are the Separatists wouldn't be able to see the connection.
 * 75) ***Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 76) ** Further to the linking issues, there seems to be at least 3 things in the Mustafar section that should be linked but aren't.
 * 77) ***Linked a few more, although many of the referenced objects or places don't seem to have articles. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 78) ** "Whether these were intentionally installed by Revan or simply part of his protocol droid package is unclear." -This should be reworded to be from an IU perspective.
 * 79) ***Hopefully fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 80) ** Can the paragraph of the P&t with brackets in be reworded to remove them?
 * 81) ***Brackets removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 82) Naru continues...
 * 83) *"Revan renounced the Jedi Order and left along with his friend Malak to search for Star Maps left behind by an ancient civilization so he could find and use the superweapon known as the Star Forge." Use the Star Forge to do what? What does the Star Forge do?
 * 84) *"While HK-47 displayed obedience to those he identified as his master, he had little regard for any form of life and admitted that he was driven by a desire for violence and carnage. He characteristically used the term meatbag when speaking of organic life forms, especially Humans." This sounds like it should be in the P&T. The following reason for it could also be moved there as well. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Is there a succession box for "owners of HK-47"? I think there were at least 7 and it would be useful to have. This isn't an objection but could you look into it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Ranat

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 02:59, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Do you hear that? That gnawing sound? It's growing louder. It's the sound of thousands of meter-tall rodents with fangs the size of your forearm burrowing through the fundament of your home. It sounds like it's coming from the next room. How thick is that door? Or the wall? Has anyone heard from the dog lately? Oh, are the lights flickering? (Ya gotta love the galaxy far far away's very own zombies!) ~ SavageBob 02:59, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) Eyrezer:
 * 2) * Can you mention Con Q in the intro?
 * 3) * In the Biol section, you introduce the fact they have a tail with the phrase "the tail". Can you tweak this?
 * 4) * You mention getting approval of the sector government. From the Atlas Online companion, we can now specify this as the Antemeridian sector. This could either be pipelinked or mentioned in the text.
 * 5) * The last paragraph of the Ranats in the galaxy section jumps around chronologically. Is it possible to change the order of the Ranats mentioned to match the chronology?
 * 6) *Are there images on the Wook of the other possible Ranats you mention in the BTS? If so, it would be nice to add links to those images for reference purposes.
 * 7) *These aside, an enjoyable read. Nice work, as usual. --Eyrezer 03:44, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Thanks for your comments as always; these should all be addressed. As for the images, every Ranat image I know of is in the article, so I'm afraid we can't do any better here. ~ SavageBob 15:55, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***With the image question, I was suggesting you add a link to the disputed images in question. Currently there is a link to the bosun, but something like "For example, a hooded and cloaked rat-like figure is seen in a cantina on Diado in "It Takes a Thief," a story set in 19 BBY (Seen here )." This way readers could click the link to check for themselves rather than having to hunt down the original source. --Eyrezer 23:59, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *A new one: can you explain the significance of being in the Borderlands? Ie, that it was a contested area of space or something. --Eyrezer 23:59, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) Skippy. Not my best day, but let's have a try.
 * 12) *Bio: "They share many features in common with their distant cousins and with other mammals of similar physiology. Nevertheless, the status of Ranats as fully sentients...". The first sentence lists sentient species, but makes not mention to the sentience, so I do not understand the "Nevertheless".
 * 13) *Language: "Nitram Con Queecon" is listed as a three-part name. Should you mention that "Con Queecon" is the name of the species? I don't want OS ("could mean Nitram the Ranat"), but I think it's a good moment to repeat that bit of information.
 * 14) *Language: If Nevar Yalnal has an article, you should link him here in his first mention. Or at least somewhere, if you don't want to link him here.
 * 15) *Amusement park boom: It's the first time under history you mention that Ranat could be deemed sentient or semi-sentient or anything. So, during their previous appearances (Revan, Rydarians), Ranats were not classified? Or is Trebors trying to re-classify the Ranats?
 * 16) *In the galaxy: "In 0 BBY, they were building themselves a moisture vaporator and other items to ease their life on the desert world". I thought "they created no goods of their own". Which one is it? Reegeesk's acts, btw, seem to contradict "they had a difficult time mastering complex devices or fields that required abstract reasoning"
 * 17) *In the galaxy: Context for Una Poot and for Tinian I'att.
 * 18) *Two very similar sentences in different parts of the text: "work for little compensation" and "work for very little compensation". Apparently a trait, so it should be mentioned under "Culture".
 * 19) *BtS: "Sadie Eddon" redirects to "Sadie Eden", an article where "Eddon" is not mentioned ("Sadie Eden, sometimes credited as Eddon..."). Is this the person who played the Ranat?
 * 20) *BtS: "is designed to emulate a horror film". Can you source this? I mean, does the source offer a text saying "We wrote this wanting to emulate a horror film". Same applies to to "is designed to test the player characters' morality"
 * 21) *BtS: "The article "Action Figure Archive," in Star Wars Insider 75, mislabels the Chadra-Fan character Kabe as a Ranat" This could use a mention to Kabe's quote: In-universe, Kabe had been confused with a Ranat.
 * 22) *aaaaand the most important objection: Take a copy of this thing and read pages 32 and 56. Even better, scan the whole book; I could have missed a mention.
 * 23) *Sorry if I'm being rude, but as I said, I'm not at my usual top billing. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:15, September 10, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Aeron Azzameen

 * Nominated by: 15:32, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: There is nothing to say that hasn't already been said millions of times in IRC.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Awesome, Emon should be next. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 23:44, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Working on a lead quote.  16:08, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Xicer
 * 3) * Your pronunciation guide currently pronounces Ace instead of Aeron.
 * 4) **Didn't even notice. Guess I should've checked that when I grabbed it from Ace's article.
 * 5) * Aeron should be listed as female in the infobox.
 * 6) **Are we abso- nevermind. There are too many people that would affect if it were brought into question. Added.
 * 7) * "On the way back to their home, however, the two Azzameens were intercepted by a quick attack on Harlequin Station by the Enkidu, a Pursuer-class enforcement ship, and an accompaniment flying under the Viraxo flag." Context needed on the Viraxo.
 * 8) **Contextified.
 * 9) * "The first of these taskgroups contained Antan piloting his Action IV transport Big Score and Emon piloting the Andrasta," Context needed on the Andrasta (just mention that it's a Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft).
 * 10) **Squeezed in there.
 * 11) * "Once Storm Unit secured the station, Aeron and MK-09 were called in to assist in combing the main computer core." Context needed on Storm Unit.
 * 12) **Contextified and reworded to fit.
 * 13) * "Both Aeron and Garn's were cryptic concerning their relationship beyond friendship." Looks like there's a word missing here.
 * 14) **Not a word missing, but a missed possessive.
 * 15) *Very nicely written. Makes me want to play the game again. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:07, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **You should. It is your destiny. 21:52, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Pasta bowl!
 * 18) * Check the tense, please. Use of "would" is a conditional mood in the present tense. Unless it is IU speculation, please reword those instances.
 * 19) **You learn something new every day. Changed every offending instance of "would".
 * 20) * More later. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:29, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **I eagerly anticipate further trashing. 04:52, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Haha. No trash, just good ol' fashioned pasta. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 12:30, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * "When Tomaas decided that it was time the youngest Azzameen, Ace, was to learn to fly so he could also assist in the family trade around 3 ABY, the responsibility to train the new recruit fell upon Aeron." This needs to be reworded and possibly broken apart. It borders on a run-on and does not read as well as the preceding text.
 * 24) **Broken up and reworded.
 * 25) * "For her first training session, Aeron told Ace, who flew with the family MK-series maintenance droid MK-09&hellip;" Did Aeron assign the droid to fly with Ace or did it just happen that way?
 * 26) **It looks like it just happened that way, though it's probably because Ace and Emkay always worked together.
 * 27) * "Both groups&hellip;" Who is in Aeron's group?
 * 28) **No one. Fixed wording.
 * 29) * "On the way back to their home, however, the two Azzameens were intercepted when a quick attack was launched on Harlequin Station by the Enkidu, a Pursuer-class enforcement ship." I could be wrong, but I thought it was before they left the station. Also, is there a link for the attack? I am not sure it deserves an article, but I was curious since I could not find one.
 * 30) **You are correct. Also, I can't find a link either. Should I make one?
 * 31) ***That would be your choice. I am neither sure it is notable enough nor bold enough to forcibly require it in order for this nom to pass; I leave that to you and other well-learned members of the community to decide. My preference is no, however, not in this particular case. Take that as you will. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:34, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * The last paragraph of Training an Azzameen seems disjunctive. The prior paragraph concludes with some type of victory, having chased the Viraxo-allied assailants away; then, the new paragraph begins with security systems. That is fine. The problem arises with the next portion. What are the family cargo fields? Are they back at Azzameen Station or at Harlequin Station? Where did the raiders come from? I thought they were all driven away (based upon the prior paragraph). Then, after the discovery of spice, they drive the Enkinu away again? Something chronologically is missing.
 * 33) **Clarified and expanded a lot. I was missing a few details, but they're in there now.
 * 34) * In Dealing with the Viraxo we are suddenly introduced to Emon? Who is Emon? There are no links for him either here or in the introduction as well. He needs context to be suddenly dropped in.
 * 35) **Emon appropriately introduced and contexted.
 * 36) *More coming. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 12:30, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Your INQCONing is appreciated :D 14:09, September 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "Unfortunately for the Azzameens, forces once again conspired to act against them." Whose forces?
 * 39) **The Forces of Generalization. Reworded awkward phrase.
 * 40) ***I had to fix the tense of this, so it is noted. Please be careful of uses of "would." &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:16, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * "Aeron's group was tasked&hellip;" This needs to be clearly mentioned as the second group if it is so.
 * 42) **I think I fixed this? I'm not actually sure what you meant, so check and see if I was able to figure it out.
 * 43) * "The two rendezvoused at Azzameen Home Base&hellip;" "Rendezvoused" is not really a word; rendez-vous or rendezvous'' is, but both are a noun referring to a point of meeting.
 * 44) **Didn't think so. Reworded to keep the word but use it correctly.
 * 45) * I also would introduce the craft (first paragraph in 1.3) as the groups are introduced rather than after the fact.
 * 46) **I'm confused about this one. Do you mean to move the ships' names before their respective pilots, or something else?
 * 47) ***This kind of got ironed out in the process. No worries here. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:16, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "The offending starfighters were soon dispatched..." dispatched needs to be followed by the preposition "with" to be factually accurate. Of course, that clause can't end with "with" so it needs to be reworded. Try something other than "dispatched with."
 * 49) **Reordered slightly.
 * 50) * "&hellip;their uncle didn't&hellip;" I know this falls under, but&hellip; contraction!
 * 51) **Fixed.
 * 52) * "The short discussion was made even shorter&hellip;" This is an awkward idiom. It does not sound encyclopedic.
 * 53) **Fixed.
 * 54) * "Faced with nearly no options&hellip;" POV.
 * 55) **Changed completely.
 * 56) ***Oooh, I like this much better! &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:16, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * "&hellip;where they resided for the time being." The idiom "time being" seems awkward to me in this context. Could something else be used?
 * 58) **Yes. Specified what "time being" was.
 * 59) *More later. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:34, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) **Continued thanks. 17:15, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) *"Successful, Ace returned&hellip;" Three things: this section is beginning to feel more like it belongs in the Ace article than Aeron's. Is there any way to expand upon Aeron's involvement and tone down Ace's? Secondly, what was successful? Was Antan liberated? Any details that could briefly be thrown into the sentence. Lastly, if Ace is mentioned as returning, what about Emon?
 * 62) **That part really did feel Ace-ish. I removed the latter portion completely and simplified both Emon and Ace's involvement in the matter. The only thing Aeron was responsible for was the discovery.
 * 63) *"Aeron's slicing efforts again proved fruitful for the Azzameen family." With? The context should be alluded to in this sentence with detailed extrapolation following.
 * 64) **Reworded and tweaked.
 * 65) *"before meeting Aeron in the Sabra&hellip;" Because this is Aeron's article and not about Ace, I suggest moving this information up so that it shows she did something during this time rather than dropping in the clause so suddenly. Also, expand on what she did as much as possible. Right now it seems like "Ace, Ace, Ace, and oh yeah, Aeron." Then, "Ace, Aeron, Ace, Ace."
 * 66) **Technically, that is how the game plays out, so it's very difficult to extrapolate what exactly goes on from her side of things. I've added a bit of context for her, though.
 * 67) *"Aeron's absences&hellip;" Was she expected somewhere or to be with someone?
 * 68) **Changed to "lack of communication" because it's more accurate.
 * 69) *"Around the same time, Ace transferred&hellip;" What does this have to do with Aeron or the article? Again, it seems much more about Ace than anything else. Adding information about other Azzameens to fill holes in the chronology should not be a primary fall back, if that is the intent. A couple of times might be fine, but this seems to be a pattern in this section. I do suggest going through this section again (1.4) and tweaking it so it is less about "Ace" and a touch more balanced.
 * 70) **I ended up trashing the last paragraph completely because an introduction to Ace's transfer fits elsewhere and the other was only slightly relevant. Also cleaned up some "Ace did this" and "Ace did that". There may be more that I'll cull later.
 * 71) *"&hellip;inspecting each for easier identification by the incoming freighters." This does not make sense to me. Can this be reworded?
 * 72) **Reworded a lot.
 * 73) *"Once there, Ace defeated several Alpha-class Xg-1 Star Wings, a Beta-class ETR-3 escort transport Minelayer laying mines, and the mines themselves, while inspecting satellites suitable for a listening device." Again, what about Aeron? Also, was the Minelayer placing mines and inspecting satellites or Ace? Clarification needed.
 * 74) **Cleaned up quite a bit.
 * 75) *"Eventually he settled for one&hellip;" Settled for what? Also, "settled for" provides the implication that he wanted another whatever-it-was but only got that 'thing.'
 * 76) **Removed wording altogether and fixed it up quite a bit.
 * 77) *"This forced Ace and Emkay into action, protecting Aeron and the satellite from attack." Was she spotted? Was she attacked? It is quite vague here. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:16, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) **Fixed.
 * 79) *"Eventually Aeron finished her work&hellip;" What was her work on this task? That is more important than the information about Ace.
 * 80) **Specified while tweaking the amount of Ace.
 * 81) *More later. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:16, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) **Continued continued thanks. 17:37, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Olin Garn

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:44, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The man who made LOL canon.

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Good taste vote. 16:47, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:39, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:47, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toasty. I often wonder what happened to the Alliance gang... --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 16:10, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) I laugh out loud at this nomination! Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:58, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Droma

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 03:12, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hey everyone! I've been doing a lot of work on the Droma article, and it's come to the point where I believe that it's complete. I do have a few questions that I hope you can help me out with --- feel free to answer them, and I'll make the necessary changes accordingly. Ditto any other changes you want me to make. My questions are...

- Biography: Since it falls entirely within the sub-heading "Yuuzhan Vong War", should I just jettison said sub-heading entirely? Has been addressed.

- Sourcing: The thread at the JC forums with Kathy Tyers that I've sourced thrice appears as three separate sources. I do not know how to make it into one with a 10.0, 10.1, and a 10.2. Is it possible to do this with external links? Scratch that, it's actually three different pages within the thread that are being linked to.

- Powers and abilities: I didn't think it was necessary to add this section, as I have covered his talents within "Personality and traits". Let me know if I should split p & t up and include a p & a section. I also didn't include armor and equipment --- I know that Droma is depicted with the same gun in several images, but having reread all of his appearances, I don't think he is ever actually carrying it in the text.

- Voice only: I included this next to The Final Prophecy in the appearances section, but I'm not sure if it's the proper disclaimer to use when a character only appears via comlink.

- quotes: Is the article OK without any quotes? I have the one at the beginning, and I think that the article works better without any more. Let me know if you want me to add any.

Thanks so much! Now, have at me.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:34, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Jedi Council takes a quick glance:
 * 2) * Everything in the infobox needs to be referenced.
 * 3) * The "fate unknown" stuff at the end of the bio is a big no-no and needs to go.
 * 4) * As far as your first point above regarding the headings, yes, I would suggest eliminating the Yuuzhan Vong War heading.
 * 5) *I may give it a full review later. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:46, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **Thanks so much for the advice. I have addressed all three points. Menkooroo 16:52, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***I apologize for butting in, but I feel I should let you know that you should never strike another person's objections. That person will strike their own objections when they feel that they have been adequately addressed. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 17:16, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Ah, wasn't aware. Thanks. Menkooroo 21:07, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *****I've struck them now. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:14, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Xicer
 * 11) * In the intro, context is needed for Han Solo. Also, who was attacking the Jubilee Wheel with the dread weapon?
 * 12) * First Battle of Duro (Yuuzhan Vong War) and Battle of Esfandia should be linked somewhere in the intro.
 * 13) * Context needed on Jubilee Wheel.
 * 14) * Context needed on the Yuuzhan Vong.
 * 15) * "He was part of a Caravan of Ryn ships heading from the Corporate Sector to the Plooriod Cluster when the Yuuzhan Vong entered the Ottega system and attacked Ithor. The Ryn were scattered, and Droma and several others ended up refugees aboard the Jubilee Wheel." Battle of Ithor (Yuuzhan Vong War) should be linked somewhere in here. Also, how were the Ryn scattered?
 * 16) * Context needed for Han in the body as well.
 * 17) * Context needed on the Peace Brigade.
 * 18) * Why did Droma want to go to Ralltiir?
 * 19) * Context needed on the Millennium Falcon.
 * 20) * Context needed on SELCORE.
 * 21) * First Battle of Duro (Yuuzhan Vong War) should be linked in the proper section in the body.
 * 22) * You seem to use "Ryn Network" and "Ryn network" interchangeably. Please choose one or the other.
 * 23) *Other than that, pretty good. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 20:21, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks so much for the thorough critique! I believe I've addressed everything there. Let me know if Han Solo needs any more context --- I think I have enough without going into detail of his and Roa's initial plan, but I don't think that that initial plan is relevant to Droma. With that said, you were right in that I didn't really have any context at all, so I've added a bit into both the intro and the body. And sorry about the redirects, too. Menkooroo 23:49, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***I'd like to see it mentioned who exactly Han Solo is. Same goes for the Vong, at least mention that they're a group of extragalactic aliens. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:33, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ****Done. The Vong are referred to as an extragalactic race of religious zealots (a term taken right from their own article) in the body. In the intro, I've called Han "the famous pilot and ex-smuggler", and in the body, "the famous pilot and hero of the Rebellion". Menkooroo 02:20, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) Why do you not have quotes? Do you just dislike them? I'm going to have to insist that you add one in for every subsection. It's unofficial policy, basically, and IMO, makes the article look better.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:31, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *Quotes have been added to every subsection of "Biography", "Personality and traits", and "Behind the scenes". Menkooroo 00:41, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just for future reference, "X-wing" is always spelled with a lowercase "w". Also, when linking please try to minimize the use of redirects. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 20:21, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * As for the "Powers and abilities" section, it is only used with Force-sensitive character articles. With all other characters, "Skills and abilities" is used instead, but general practice allows to cover the character's talents in "Personality and traits" too. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 21:31, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * Awesome, thanks! Let me know if there are any problems with the Personality and traits section. Menkooroo 23:49, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

Ssk Kahorr

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:03, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Cannibal lizards ahoy!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:10, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Maybe add an "External links" section with a link to his entry in the CUSWE? That seems to be good form around here. The code would look like this: CUSWEID|23865|Ssk Kahorr 'cept with { brackets around it. Menkooroo 03:38, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Handled it. Feel free to make such additions yourself in the future; the spirit of the FAN page is one of cooperating to make sure articles are the best they can be before moving on. We call making simple changes oneself the clause.  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:03, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I didn't want to impose, but I guess a simple addition like that would hardly be imposing. Menkooroo 22:18, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

CT-26-6958

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 15:15, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: One of the clones for ProjectRookies

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * "Hevy—along with CT-26-1409, CT-27-5555, and Cutup—were present when during a surprise Confederate attack on the station." Eh? Reword.
 * 3) ** * Blames Jonny * :D Addressed.
 * 4) * "Around 22 BBY, CT-26-6958 was stationed in a listening post, located on the moon of the planet Rishi." Was this the only moon of Rishi? If not, change to "a moon".
 * 5) **Only confirmed moon of Rishi, however, I changed it to "a moon".
 * 6) * Give more context on the Clone Wars.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * " During his time in the Republic station, CT-26-6958 earned the nickname of "Hevy," due to his expertise in heavy weaponry in the base." Remove "in the base", it doesn't really fit into this sentence.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "As the clone raised the base's shield, Fives took the opportunity to boost Hevy's excitement. However, the rookie clone trooper commented negatively to the meteor shower." Reword. These sentences don't really make sense. Why would Fives want to boost Hevy's excitement?
 * 11) **That's not important, removed.
 * 12) *I see you only gave context to the "shinies" nickname the second time you mentioned it; contextify it the first time and not the second.
 * 13) **I don't recall adding it to the intro, or before the second time in the bio.
 * 14) ***First bio paragraph: Inside the command center of the listening post, the rookie clone troopers—nicknamed shinies—were resting, due to inactivity around the area.
 * 15) *<S>Why would Rex want to destroy the base?
 * 16) **Fixed.
 * 17) * They opened fire on the invading battle droid forces as Rex wired three plunk droids together, but the remote activator to detonate the tibanna, wasn't working properly." Reword. Doesn't flow well.
 * 18) **Fixed.
 * 19) *Not bad.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:53, September 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks for the review, Floyd. :)
 * 21) A passing objection
 * 22) * Have you checked every single related book and source? That includes (but is not limited to) Ultimate Battles as well as Grievous Attacks and all the other young reader books that don't have articles here.  CC7567  (talk) 20:08, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Both visual guides were checked, Grievous Attacks took place around the time of LoG and I don't recall seeing Hevy in the book. After looking at this objection, I did go back and took a look at the rest of the young reader books and none have information about Rookies. I looked up if there was a young reader book for the episode, but couldn't find anything.

Comments

Waxer

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:54, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More clones.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Have you checked all sources, including Ultimate Battles as well as The Battle for Ryloth and all other possible young reader books for information and appearances?  CC7567  (talk) 20:11, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Umm, I actually asked you to check the guide a while ago :P; The Battle for Ryloth adapts "Liberty on Ryloth" only; AFAIK, there are no young reader books based on Innocents of Ryloth yet. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:20, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Oh yeah. But as for the book, no, "Liberty on Ryloth" is not the only episode it adapts. Please check it.  CC7567  (talk) 20:34, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Boil

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:54, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More clones.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Passing stuff
 * 2) *Have you checked all sources, including Ultimate Battles (specifically for new info) as well as The Battle for Ryloth and all other possible young reader books for information and appearances?
 * 3) **See above.
 * 4) * The episode isn't a source for the dates in the article.  CC7567  (talk) 20:12, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:23, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Olaris Rhea

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:58, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Somewhat important character from Omen & Abyss; just under 2,000 words as of nomination

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Rhead all about it. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:26, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) *In the intro, you refer to Ship as if it is sentient; establish if this is so.
 * 3) **Well it's not really specified whether or not Ship is sentient, it is implied that he/it is self-aware, but I think it's too speculative to put in the article.
 * 4) *Give more context for Sinkhole Station in the intro and in the bio.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *Give context on the One Sith.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *Give context on beyond shadows.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *"She was known to be a strict teacher; however, she had a soft spot for her apprentice, Khai, of whom she was very fond." This is rather repetitive; saying she had a soft spot for Khai basically says she was fond of her anyway.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *In the BtS, mention that her first name was first given as Olaris in Abyss.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) *Nice job.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 00:10, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks for the review. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:31, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Harrar
 * 17) * From the way I read the whirlpool scene, it's Ahri Raas who saves Vestara and Olaris. Can you re-read and re-check this please. For speed's sake, it's p. 193.
 * 18) **Re-checked, and Rhea uses the Force to save them both, then Ahri pulls them to shore after they're out of the whirlpopol. Fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:12, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Clone assassin

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:33, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The first non-TCW nom for WP:TCW. Part of my informal ProjectROTS.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Out of the entire body, there are only 3 or 4 sentences that acually pertain directly to the actions of the assassins. There is waaaaaayy too much unneccessary context. We don't need to know the origins of the Grand Army of the Republic, Sifo-Dyas doesn't need to be mentioned, Mace Windu and his duel has no place here, Order 66 needs only a few words of detail, the Jedi killed during Order 66 don't need to be spoken about, and the events on Mustafar and the duel in the Senate are of no relevance. Your only concerns should be that they are part of the Grand Army of the Republic, that Palpatine was behind their creation, that they participated in Operation: Knightfall under Vader's command, that they were assigned to protect the beacon, and that they failed in that task when confronted by Kenobi. That's it. Nothing more. The rest if fluff and padding that has no place in this article. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:07, September 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Naru, please note that a "non-TCW nom for WP:TCW" does not (and cannot) exist. The project is for stuff from the TV series, not the rest of the Clone Wars or the Campaign Guide.  CC7567  (talk) 22:59, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * It's more of a joke really. Its the first one that was specifically only related to it through the campaign guide, which is part of the TCW multimedia project by LFL but not really part of the TV series, books, comics, etc. which bear the logo. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:56, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * Regardless of humor, please note that it still doesn't fall under the project's span.  CC7567  (talk) 06:54, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Naru, this is not the first time you've nominated an article with lots and lots of blatant fluff, and you're sufficiently experienced at writing articles to know what is fluff. You're wasting everyone's time (including your own, but that's yours to waste) with such noms and if you continue punitive measures will be considered. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:29, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Echoing Darth Trayus and AdmirableAckbar, I'm going to recommend withdrawing the nomination. At least a third of the biography is fluff. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:39, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Naru, let me give you some advice, harsh as it may sound. Stop trying to get tons of GAs/FAs by nominating articles that fall way short of meeting the requirements. You're making a mockery of the FA/GA page. If you truly do not know what info in your articles in extraneous, then I suggest you figure it out. Ask someone and read other FA/GAs. We will not continue to tolerate this.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:55, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry if you feel the info is extraneous, I don't. That's because it's the way I write and probably the way I always will write. I'll try to be more dilligent in the future but my personal tendencies will always get in the way, which is why I do get people to read my articles before I nominate them, that they don't object to so-called "fluff" beforehand is also my fault as I've never asked them to focus on that before. Just remove the nomination already, the removal vote is quite pointless. I'll work on the article and maybe try it again some other time. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:15, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inquisitorius only) Support
 * 1) Per above.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:55, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:51, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) I mean no direct insult to Naru when I say this, but I think it's pretty telling when more and new people (Trayus, in this instance) pick up on what is really nothing more than fluff in Naru's articles. This isn't just a minor spat between two users over what should or what should not be in an article anymore. This is becoming a recurring epidemic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:02, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Ludo Kressh

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:51, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ol' Dong-chin Ludo is a FAN. Do your worst.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object
 * 1) Cursory glance:
 * 2) *The Early life section seems a bit fluffy. It seems like you go into way too much about the the exiled Dark Jedi of the Hundred Year Darkness. And you quickly wear out the term "Sith Space".
 * 3) *"Sadow believed that the title of Dark Lord of the Sith was rightfully his, and that the Sith Empire had grown stagnant in the centuries following the banishment of the Dark Jedi who fought in the Hundred-Year Darkness" Why did Sadow believe the position was rightfully his as opposed to Ludo? Why is this sentence written from Sadow's POV?
 * 4) *Also with regards to the above statement, Sadow did not believe that the Empire had grown stagnant since the banishment of the Dark Jedi who fought in the Hundred Year Darkness.
 * 5) *More to come. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 08:50, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'd suggest perhaps contacting Redemption for some more pertinent images then several of the ones currently displayed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 08:50, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Evacuation of Rychel

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 08:50, September 19, 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments:This was a lot of fun.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments
 * Spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Star Wars Invasion: 3 yet.