Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Raskta Lsu


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Raskta Lsu

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Quite the definition of a "ride-or-die" chick.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Can't say I'm not tired of this subject, but a good job once again. :P Cull Tremayne 16:50, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:53, 9 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 07:28, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) I've always liked this character; I'd love to see a short story where her exploits in the New Sith Wars were discussed. (Abel, if you're listening out there&hellip; ;-) )  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:22, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:06, 8 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Too much PBP in the last body paragraph.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:29, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yeah, I was figuring that when I was writing it. I'll change it up soon. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:23, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Addressed.
 * 4) You don't need to refer to Sarro Xaj as "Sarro Xaj" all the time (unless there's some really good reason. :P) Thefourdotelipsis 01:15, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed. Thank you Chack and Fourdot for the reviews. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:37, 9 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the Desk of Atarumaster88
 * 7) * "Named after the legendary Raskta Fenni who was the greatest warrior of her time" POV/flowery prose
 * 8) * "and with time she became peerless in her mastery of the lightsaber." POV
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "and Lsu once again displayed her unmatched skill with the lightsaber" POV
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * "Lsu's skill with the lightsaber was far greater than any of the other Jedi" POV
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "Several times she had to save her fellow Jedi from Bane, from both his powerful Force abilities and his superior skill with the lightsaber." Unclear antecedent in that second clause.
 * 15) **Should be good now.
 * ", which gave him a critical advantage over his unfamiliar opponents. " Clarify, since most Jedi throughout the eons have not used this type of weapon.
 * 1) **Not sure what more could be said about that.
 * 2) ***Well, you say it gives him an advantage, but not what the advantage is. Is the advantage that most of the Jedi have never seen that before?
 * 3) ****How's that?
 * 4) * "and she eventually became the greatest duelist of her time." POV.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Quotes in prose (P&A) must die.
 * 7) **Whoops. Addressed.
 * 8) * "In matters of the Force, however, Raskta Lsu was virtually inept" POV.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * " though she was still a reckoning force without such support" A bit of flowery prose here.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * "Her lack of Force skills cost her her life, as she was unable to sense the approach of Darth Zannah nor protect herself from the attack followed." I daresay this is a bit of original research, or at least POV, unless Karpy specifically stated that was the reason for her fall.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) ***Still seems a little speculative at the end, when you say it "may" have caused her end. I would reword it so that you state her relative lack of proficiency with Force powers and let the reader infer how that was related to her death, rather than making that speculative leap. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:22, 4 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ****How's that?
 * 16) *A lot of these are small objections that I might could have fixed myself. However, after I saw three of them in the intro alone, I figured that the author needed a reminder of how to avoid POV and flowery prose, and a good Desk-pounding would help with that. I'm surprised to see this, seeing how's he passed several FAs, but nevertheless, it should be avoided in the future. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:22, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Noted. Thank you for your review, Ataru. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:21, 4 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) Given the existence of unique entries in both sources and appearances, should it not be referenced throughout? --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:37, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *I'm not following, Culator. I have no problem reffing whatsoever, but I'm not sure what you mean by unique entries. Please advise, thanks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:26, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **I mean, the article has no referencing whatsoever. But as of this edit it is no longer a single-source article. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:55, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Addressed. Again, thanks for the review Culator. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:24, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm down for whatever needs to be done. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * That's a really lame lead quote, but with four lines of dialogue, I suppose beggars can't be choosers. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:22, 16 December 2008 (UTC)