Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Fud Sang

Fud Sang

 * Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:54, October 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Another Racer. He doesn't hunt wabbits though.

501st

 * Mention of his gender should be in body and intro.
 * Ok
 * The intro doesn't have him being held at Desolation Alley, while the body does. Which one is correct?<?s>
 * Forgot I mentioned DA in the intro, meant to keep the specific name for the body. How does it sound now?
 * I would mention right off the bat in the intro that he is being held at DA, not in the second sentence or such.
 * It looks like DA is mentioned in the first intro sentence.
 * Blarg. Either you changed it after I objected to it, or it was never that way.
 * "Overall it didn't matter, though." Please don't use contractions, Also, it might be good to tag this sentence on to the beginning of the next one.
 * No? Okay, removed, and tagged on to the next sentence.
 * What is a shoo-in?
 * "a person or thing that is certain to succeed, esp. someone who is certain to win a competition." Also, it was the Guide's terminology.
 * Please clarify this in the article with something like: "As a shoo-in, Sang was expected to win..."
 * Sorry to butt in, but that shouldn't be necessary with a word that appears in a standard dictionary (which shoo-in does). ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:26, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * So I should... --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:08, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * Decide if you want to keep the old wording or reword! There's no harm in either. I'd suggest either shoo-in or "Fud sang was expected to win..." since including both would be redundant. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 14:35, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * Why I'm asking for clarification on shoo-in is because the last sentence in the first paragraph of the bio sounds as if he is an underdog that is let in to allow the crowd cheer him on. In that spot, you might want to change shoo-in to expected to win. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 14:42, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * How does it look now?
 * Looks better.
 * Who are the outlanders? Are they offworlders?
 * Yes, again the guide's terminology. Should I still specify then?
 * Yes, please specify if they are offworldiers or not.
 * How does "...the offworld pilots that would come to race..." sound?
 * That will do. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 21:06, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * "He even managed to score a record race time of 03:51.921." Is this a track time of seconds and minutes taken to complete it?
 * Yah, when writing for Knire Dark I wasn't sure how to phrase the lap times. It's in minutes and seconds, but I wasn't entirely sure how to label it, minutes or seconds, or minutes/seconds, or something.
 * I would say minutes. Also, are you sure it is 03:51.921? 03.51.921 seems more likely of a time.
 * Again I'm writing the way the guide (Both guides actually, and the RR guide) wrote the time.
 * You need a 1st appearances in the Appearances section.
 * Whoops, done.
 * There is no time context in the body.
 * I added a year now, though I didn't add in "final decades of the Republic" again, as it just didn't really fit, though I suppose that area can be re-written too fit. Should it be specified like the intro? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:17, October 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * It's good as is. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 12:23, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * Good work. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 19:50, October 12, 2013 (UTC)

Savaged&hellip;
88Unknown to us, or rather, the Veekhoven article is considered Non-Canon, for whatever reason.
 * Do we know his species was unknown in-universe? Or is it only unknown to us? If the latter, you should remove words like "unknown" from the article.
 * Context on Oovo IV -- planet, moon, asteroid?
 * Added.
 * "A decent pilot,..." Unclear if this refers to Fud Sang or to the warden.
 * Whoops, how about now?
 * I agree with Dogma above that the sentence in the lead about him being a shoo-in is confusing. We're told in a couple sentences that he's a decent pilot, then a mediocre one, then a shoo-in.
 * Now it (very) roughly should say "Fud Sang was a shoo-in meant to win despite the fact he was a mediocre pilot at best"
 * Check out the edits I made in my copy edit of the lead. Go through the rest of the article with those things in mind: making sure all terms are linked that can be linked (barring disambiguation pages), only having one space after a period, and making sure the first term in a piped link is capitalized, like podracing . I'll continue with the rest of the article once you get a chance to do these things. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 17:34, October 14, 2013 (UTC)
 * One space after a period? Are people enforcing that now?  God, what an awful way to write...  Pagans, the lot of ya.  If ya insist. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:52, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Well, I just did a test on the spacing issue in my sandbox (the first two paragraphs there are exactly the same, only the second has two spaces after each period). Apparently, the wiki software takes care of the spacing automatically, so I retract that objection. Continue in your philistinism as much as you please. :P I'll revisit the article soon. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 15:38, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Oh, I thought you were objecting due to a file size issue, unless it doesn't affect the byte size. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:02, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * That it does: diff and history where you can see 4 KB cut. I'm not bothered personally, though others might object. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 16:07, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
 * Ah, alright. Though, even with that said, I think I'll wait for someone to make an actual complaint about it size-wise.  It looks like you're the only one who said something about it, but only because of the auto-spacing that wikia does after editing an article. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:29, October 15, 2013 (UTC)