Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Canderous Ordo

Canderous Ordo

 * Nominated by: JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:57, December 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This one is for all you Fandalorians out there!

Support

 * 1) I suppose I have gone thru this often enough to be happy as is. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 15:58, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Xd1358

 * Image captions should only end with a period if the sentence is complete. Please revise.
 * Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:07, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
 * The "Jedi Civil War" and "Working with Revan" captions shouldn't have periods either since neither of the captions have verbs and thus aren't complete sentences. 1358  (Talk)  19:30, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * Also fixed! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 20:34, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
 * Full review coming possibly hopefully after a while. :P 1358  (Talk)  14:25, February 5, 2011 (UTC)

Canderous Ordo

 * Hey there! I'm not sure if "formerly" should be next to Exchange in the infobox. Check above for a conversation I had with Trayus about it in the Chantique nom; the article is about his entire life, not just one period of time, so simply listing everything he's been involved with at one time or another with no specific time period focused on is probably best. Otherwise you'd have to put "formerly" beside more than just one thing.
 * Good point, removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:17, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * When you mention the defeat of the Crusaders in 3996 BBY, can you give a bit more context? Noting the name of the war would probably do it.
 * Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:17, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Shortly before the Mandalorian Wars" --- probably not a good idea to mention the wars until they happen. This statement lacks context and kinda comes outta nowhere, but I think leaving it out would be a better solution than adding context. "Before 3,963 BBY" would be a good alternative.
 * Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:17, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * More to come! Really impressed so far. Menkooroo 14:30, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks! Lots of work went into this one! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:17, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * In Working with Revan: "With Kang killed" kinda comes outta nowhere --- I know that how he dies is up to the player, but this kinda reads like he died before the battle began. Maybe something like "After Kang died" or something?
 * Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nitpicky and probably a sofixit, but in the same paragraph, two consecutive sentences noticeably use "decided." Can you change it up?
 * Changed up. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Context on Karath --- what is he an Admiral in?
 * Specified him as a Sith Admiral. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * That makes it seem like he himself is a Sith --- can you make it clear that he's an Admiral in the Sith Empire?
 * Why does Revan need to deal with the tractor beam? Is the Hawk caught in it? Explain, baby!
 * Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * In the second sentence of the Karath paragraph, I'm not really sure who from which group is rescuing who --- can you make it more clear?
 * Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'd like to see some more info given on Revan's travels. Granted, Ordo isn't necessarily in his party, but giving some more context on the travels wouldn't be remiss. Mention what planets they visit and what they accomplish at each one (ie, finding pieces of the Star Map --- the article currently doesn't mention the Star map at all!!), and note who the other members of Revan's group are. You could probably make an entire paragraph out of it. On top of that, a note in Behind the scenes that it's not canonically clear whether or not Canderous was in Revan's party on any of the post-Taris planets he went to might be in order.
 * I added mention of the worlds and the Star Maps but I don't think I can fluidly incorporate the other companions without going off-topic or making a straight up list. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * I've never played KOTOR II, but I guess you should do the same for that game too! :)
 * Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm not seeing any changes there --- are there any other planets you visit in KOTOR II while Ordo is in your party (Dantooine, Nar Shaddaa...)?
 * I haven't played KOTOR in a while, but doesn't Canderous make like... grenades or something for you when you talk to him? Definitely mention that he provided Revan with those.
 * Actually he makes stimulants, and I've now made note. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nicely done with the add to Personality & traits too. :)
 * Names should only be bolded in the intro --- Mandalore the Preserver is currently bolded in the bio.
 * Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Does Canderous adopt the dying Taung's clan, or does he rebuild Clan Ordo? It's not really clear which. If the former, can you create an article for the new clan?
 * The dying Taung's clan was absorbed by Ordo, which I've now clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 07:44, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Almost done! Menkooroo 15:27, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * During the KOTOR stuff, the article states: "The Exile split her group, with some of her companions..." what group? The article hasn't established that she has a group yet; it's only been her and Ordo thus far. Giving some more context on her travels as per my above objection will probably solve this one too, baby!
 * Little information has been discovered as to Ordo's fate after his journey with the Exile --- that's a big no-no. We may not have the information Out-of-universe, but we can't assume that little information has been discovered by anybody In-universe. "Fate unknown" statements are pretty frowned-upon.
 * Ordo and the Mandalorians would be remembered for thousands of years to come. --- is this still according to Kreia's prediction? If so, can you specify? If not, it's fair to say so, but I don't think it can be source to KOTOR II.
 * Can you give a more specific reference than Republic Commando series? Whichever book specifically states that the Null's named after Canderous would be better.
 * If you cite the Rebellion Era Campaign Guide, I think you can explicitly state that the Canderous-class Assault Tank was named after this guy.
 * You'll need a source for his Mando'a translation --- also, implying his significance as an foundation and anchor for the restoration of the Mandalorian people reads as pretty speculative regarding authorial intent. Can you reword it to something like "which fits with his significance..." that doesn't make any assumptions?
 * The part in the bts about the cut element --- if it's a cut element, why is it sourced to the game itself?
 * The Canderous-Class Assault Tank has also shown up in Fate of the Jedi --- maybe tack that onto the end of the bts?
 * In the Star Wars: Miniatures game, the Mandalorian Commander figure resembles Ordo. Is this the same figure detailed here? If so: Why note that he resembles Ordo when it's explicitly confirmed to be him? If not: Might be worth it to mention both miniature figures.
 * Also, that starwars.com Miniatures preview should be in "External links" rather than "Sources" as per a CT held last year. This is admittedly a sofixit, but I think that that's handy for ya to know.
 * Is Canderous himself mentioned in Forces of Corruption, or have you included it in the Appearances section due to the Assault Tank? If the former, my apologies. If the latter, I don't think it counts as a "Mentioned only" --- maybe an, though. Not sure.
 * Just to confirm, is there definitely no unique info on him in Galaxy of Intrigue, Rebellion Era Campaign Guide, or The New Essential Guide to Droids? If you're not sure, I can provide you with info from... at least two of those sources, I think. If you've already checked them, my apologies.
 * That's it! Good job, my friend. Let me know if any of my objections are unclear. This was very well-done; I've found a buncha minor things, but it was definitely a good read! Menkooroo 15:10, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
I am waiting on a screenshot request for the Equipment section, so if that's a concern don't worry, it will be dealt with!
 * You might be interested to have a birth year for him to 4,014 BBY, per this forum post by Chris Avellone. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 00:03, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * I appreciate the help but unfortunately Avellone says he's 63 in Mandalorian years, and we unfortunately have no idea what any difference might be. Thanks though! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 20:48, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * How I take it, it says "63 years of tough Mandalorian life", although this flu might fool my brains. –Tm_T (Talk) 21:32, December 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * IMO, the most logical interpretation of "Mandalorian years" is local year on planet Mandalore, which is 366 standard days long, according to the Atlas. So it is just 2 days shorter than the standard year. Darth Morrt 20:55, January 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * Personally that makes a lot of logical sense to me as well, but we have no idea if the Mandalorians measure years the same way we/the rest of the galaxy does. I know it seems a bit silly but for all we know their years could be two seasonal cycles or some other weird variation, so unless we get absolute confirmation we probably can't assume. If the Inqs feel otherwise I'd be more than happy to change it though! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 04:19, January 14, 2011 (UTC)