Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Ragez D'Asta


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ragez D'Asta

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 02:42, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The most important Imperial you've never heard of.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:28, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing  ( Oya Manda! ) 19:00, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:44, 11 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Graestan ( Talk ) 12:15, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:39, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:29, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * No indication of his sex/species in the intro/article?
 * 3) **That's not a requirement. Thefourdotelipsis 23:51, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***For the intro, maybe, but can you honestly say that it's not relevant to the bio? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk)
 * 5) ****Unless it's directly relevant to a plot point, not really. The infobox does the job. Would you list his height in the bio? Probably not, unless it was directly relevant. Thefourdotelipsis 00:52, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****His height is related purely to his physical appearance, which is not usually elaborated upon in the bio unless there are special circumstances. Even then, I'd have no problem listing his height in the bio. Someone's exact height is relatively unimportant, but their species (and to a lesser extent, gender) is important, as is their year of birth, if known - would you leave that out of the bio because it's in the infobox? Also, users can "[hide]" the infobox, so we shouldn't be relying on solely it to convey info. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:49, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Year of birth is an important biographical fact, wheras species only really a point thats made since there are other species. I wouldn't demand it of any article, not even one on an alien, unless the character's species is important to the biographical info. Same as their gender...it's not important in many cases. If D'Asta was someone who preached HuMan High Culture or whatever, or had, I dunno, a magic penis, then mentioning his gender would be essential, but...I don't think it is here. And if people choose to "[hide]" the infobox, they're in no position to complain about information that they don't get. Thefourdotelipsis 01:07, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "D'Asta commanded his armada in an attack on Ord Cantrell, headquarters of the Council." Why? Was this in response to his daughter's arrest? If so, please clarify.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * In the first paragraph of the article body you mention that he had business dealings with Jahren Sinn. Please elaborate, if possible.
 * 11) **No more info.
 * 12) * "D'Asta last saw his daughter in 6 ABY." This sentence kind of just hangs there with no clear import or meaning. Please consider revising.
 * 13) **Modified.
 * 14) * Your use of inline citations in between dashes and words looks a bit unsightly. Is there a way you could remedy this?
 * 15) **This is really the best way to show what info is from where.
 * 16) * This is sort of unclear: "One of the members of the Council, Xandel Carivus, sought to take over." Take over what, precisely?
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * "Carivus left one of his admirals to deal with D'Asta." This could use a bit of expansion, if possible; why did he do this? What concerns did Carivus have about D'Asta?.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * I would like to see this sentence broken up, elaborating on the "multiple dangers" faced by the Empire and the battle itself. "With the Imperial Navy scattered due to the multiple dangers the Empire faced, D'Asta's fleet decimated the Imperial fleet, breaking the defenses over Ord Cantrell and driving what ships remained into retreat."
 * 21) **Dangers addressed, no more info on the battle.
 * 22) * From the second paragraph of the Battle of Ord Cantrell section: "Kir Kanos, one of the Emperor's Royal Guard"; shouldn't this be "formerly of the Emperor's Royal Guard"? If so, this needs to be corrected throughout the article.
 * 23) **The NEC still calls him a member of it, so I've gone with that.
 * 24) * You mention Grappa the Hutt late in the body as being behind his daughter's kidnapping, yet when you first mention it, you say it was a plot by Black Sun. If it was indeed Grappa who was the mastermind behind that, then you should state this initially, rather than bringing him in later.
 * 25) **Clarified.
 * 26) * From the P&T: "Baron D'Asta was respected amongst Imperials, including the members of the Interim Council." Why?
 * 27) **Not said. They just say they respect him. - Lord Hydronium 04:23, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) * "D'Asta was pro-Imperial and a supporter of Emperor Palpatine, aghast when he learned of the conspiracy to end the Emperor's life." This reads kind of...meh. Please consider revising.
 * 29) **Rephrased. Thefourdotelipsis 23:51, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *TIMMMMBERRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 02:21, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 32) * Decide between "Council" and "council"
 * 33) * "what was to be done about D'Asta and the other dangers the Empire faced. " Reword, a bit of POV here.
 * 34) * "drew his blade on her, demanding her life." Unclear antecedent; there are 3 chicks present.
 * 35) *Otherwise clean. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:25, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) **Changed. - Lord Hydronium 04:23, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 38) * Please include his species somewhere in the article aside from the infobox. Both the intro and the bio would be ideal, though either one will satisfy me.
 * 39) **I've placed a mention in the bio.
 * 40) * Intro mentions he was a firm supporter of Palpatine but this is not mentioned in the bio.
 * 41) **It's in the P&T.
 * 42) * "For five years after 6 ABY, D'Asta had no contact with his daughter" -- this could be clarified. I'm not sure if it's referring to his real daughter or the clone.
 * 43) **Both, actually. He says it to the clone, while he thinks she's the real Feena.
 * 44) * Not a hard-and-fast objection, but there's a little bit of repetition in the phrasing between the intro and the first paragraph of the bio. Would it be possible to change things up a little bit?
 * 45) **Changed a few sentences; hope that should do it.
 * 46) ***Looks fine.
 * 47) * Channeling Ataru here: unless it's definitely stated in the source, you should avoid using "decimated" ("The Battle of Ord Cantrell," first paragraph)
 * 48) **I changed it. For the record, though, "decimated" doesn't have to literally mean one-tenth anymore; it's an acceptable usage to have it mean any sort of large percentage destroyed.
 * 49) ***Okay, I didn't know that.
 * 50) * "Meanwhile, Kanos pursued the fleeing Carivus. Cornering him, the Royal Guardsman ended the life of the self-proclaimed Emperor. D'Asta and the others arrived shortly thereafter" &mdash; minor, but I seem to recall at least most of the party being present when he killed Carivus. Please check and alter if I'm correct.
 * 51) **Mirith shows up right as he's sticking in the blade, the others appear a moment later. - Lord Hydronium 03:54, 11 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) ***Fair enough.
 * 53) **Good work. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:02, 10 August 2008 (UTC)