User:Jagged Fel/Movies

The How Not To Make a ... Movie series, is a series of short comedy movies, made by two brothers, from Great Britain, on various subjects. All 4 of the movies are on Google Video and YouTube.

Movies
So far three movies have been released onto the internet, How Not To Make a Star Wars Movie, How Not To Make a Mafia Movie and How Not To Make a Cop Movie.

Each was an example of original comedy set out like a TV show. Each 12-14 minute movie had 8 sections of sketches plus brief introductions/endings by a Host (Elliot Tomlinson.) These Intros would be
 * At the beginning before the opening titles
 * After the opening Titles
 * Halfway through (Introducing the break)
 * After the break
 * At the end before the credits
 * Extremely brief "Goodbye scene" after the credits

The Host's section after the break was often him talking on a phone during an embarrassing or just generally comedic conversation and he was also shown beating Nick with a snooker cue during the end credits of How Not To Make A Star Wars Film]] and after the "Goodbye Scene" of How Not To Make A Mafia Movie

Themes
Each episode had a different theme in which the movie demonstrated "What not to do" for that particular kind of film.

Star Wars
The first and fourth episodes were based on the hundreds of Star Wars Fan Films. Having seen many of these fan films Elliot and Sam Tomlinson had concocted various humorous scenes for a How Not To Make a .... Movie. As the first episode it also starred 3 special guest stars who were friends of Elliot and Sam. Nick Smith starred as Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rotimi Osindero and Seun Osindero also starred but were fairly minor parts.

The 8 sections in the Star Wars movie were as follows


 * 1. Play it SAFE: Choreograph everything:
 * 2. Never EVER EVER have singalongs...
 * 3. Star Wars Talk Shows Always fail...
 * 4. Never Play With Fire, lightsabers or lightbulbs. (and make sure the lens cap is off...)
 * 5. Never Work With Children....
 * 6. Check The Setting Before Filming. (Watch the window behind the action...)
 * 7. Write a Script. If the actors don’t know what they are doing, the film (and their credits) are at stake...
 * 8. If You Don't have the correct Props, Don't Bother.....

Two Scenes were also deleted from the final cut. The Five-minute long "Quizshows Also Always fail" and "Hire A Decent Camera Man, Camera angles can ruin a film...." which were placed 5th and 7th respectively in the original cut. These scenes were both thought of as poorly made by the Tomlinson Brothers and so both were cut, bringing the final running time down from 17.05 to 12.19.

The second Star Wars Movie entitled "How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel" is the first in the series not to actually include the word "movie" in its title. The 8 sections have not been confirmed yet.

Mafia


The Second film in the series has a final run time of 14.15. Widely considered to be the worst in the series so far, How Not To Make A Mafia Movie brought back the Host Character as well as Earl The Dog and a scene with the cap left on. However in this episode the Earl scene ended with Earl being shot instead of Earl eating a character. The Film did not bring back the popular Singalong scene.

The 8 sections in the Mafia movie were as follows

And Back by Popular Demand: Earl the Dog
 * 1. We Once again remind you to take the lens cap off. And definitely never play with Dynamite...
 * 2. Never Confuse "Gangster" With "Gangsta"
 * 3. There Was A Title, But Frasier Stole This Device (Renamed "Never Disobey the Don"
 * 4. Never Get A Mobster Mad...
 * 5. No Cry-Baby's
 * 6. Never Fail The Don
 * 7. 1920s Style Films are Never a Good Idea
 * 8. If You Don't Have The Props, Don't Bother...

Despite the idea that the movie on the whole was the worst so far. Many agree that the 7th section (1920s Style Films are Never a Good Idea) is the best section from any of the movies.

Cop
The Third Movie to be released was made as a direct contrast to the film previously (Mafia) and was intended to make up for fans who were disappointed in the Mafia film.

The result was a film that more than made up for Mafia, but felt rushed and therefore holds the position of Second in order of popularity.

The film once again brought back the "Props" scene, best known for the actors to be chased by a monster (Earl The Dog) but was meant to fool the audience at the beginning of the section that Earl would not be returning from the dead. After a crude Robocop instalment, Earl returns...

The 8 sections in this movie were.


 * 1. Make Sure You Have More Than One Take...
 * 2. No Batman Effects
 * 3. Never Have World Records
 * 4. Off-Duty Cops Are Boring
 * 5. Make Sure Your Tip-Offs Are Correct
 * 6. And For Goodness Sake, Make Sure The Theme Tunes Are Good.
 * 7. Make Sure Prison's Are Truly Impregnable
 * 8. If You Don't Have The Props, Don't bother.

Although the film itself was a little rushed. Elliot Tomlinson is quoted as saying "My favourite part of the film was the opening titles, I was so proud of them in this Movie"

This film was also the shortest so far, coming in at just under 12 minutes (11.53)

Star Wars Sequel
How Not To Make A Star Wars Sequel was the most recent movie as well as the most extravagant, including special effects such as Lightsabers. Unseen in any of the other films. It was also the longest film at 20 Minutes 48 seconds. This was mainly due to long opening and end credits. The 6 sections in this film were:


 * 1,Make Sure Your Lightsaber Works
 * 2,Never Make a Mandalorian Mad (Heh Heh, Alliteration)
 * 3,What'd We Tell You Last Time!? NO SINGALONGS!!!
 * 4,Jedi are disagreeable &%$@s, don't put faith in their patience or temper....
 * 5,No Lightsaber Fights
 * 6,Don't Infringe on copyright

There was also another, unnamed scene to do with Star Wars Monopoly. The 6th scene was based on the Lou and Andy scenes on the British Sitcom Little Britain and the set out and "Jay and Silent Bob with Suzanne the monkey" as well as the musical score was lifted out of the film: Mallrats.

Writers
All of the sequences in the films were written by one or other of the Tomlinson Brothers.

Parts Written by Elliot Tomlinson


Elliot wrote all of the Host sequences, however the 2 which included a character played by Sam, included suggestions made by him.

Below is a list of all the Sequences written entirely by Elliot (Including all of the host sequences)


 * Beginning Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * After Titles Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * 3. Star Wars Talk Shows Always fail (Star Wars Movie)
 * Before Break Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * After Break Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * Before Credits Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * Hitting Nick with Snooker Cue Sequence (Star Wars and Mafia Movie)
 * After Credits "goodbye" Host Sequence (Star Wars Movie)
 * Before Titles Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * After Titles Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * 1. We Once again remind you to take the lens cap off. And definitely never play with Dynamite... (Mafia Movie)
 * 2. Never Confuse "Gangster" With "Gangsta" (Mafia Movie)
 * 7. 1920s Style Films are Never a Good Idea
 * Before Break Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * After Break Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * Before Credits Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * After Credits Host Sequence (Mafia Movie)
 * Before Titles Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * After Titles Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * 2. No Batman Effects (Cop Movie)
 * 7. Make Sure Prison's Are Truly Impregnable (Cop Movie)
 * 8. If You Don't Have The Props, Don't bother. (Cop Movie)
 * Before Break Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * After Break Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * Before Credits Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * After Credits Host Sequence (Cop Movie)
 * Before Titles Host sequence (Star Wars Sequel)
 * After Titles Host sequence (Star Wars Sequel)
 * 2, Never make a Mandalorian Made (Star Wars Sequel)
 * Before Break Host sequence (Star Wars Sequel)
 * After break host sequence (Star Wars Sequel)
 * Before credits host sequence (Star Wars Sequel)
 * After credits "There's no place like home" scene (Star Wars Sequel)

It should also be noted that all the editing was done by Elliot and so all of the introductions to Sequences are written by him as well as the ordering of the episodes. He also created the original idea for an "How Not To Make a ... Movie" which was originally going to be a Star Wars one-off fan-film.

Parts Written By Sam Tomlinson
Below is a list of all the Sequences written entirely by Sam.


 * 1. Play it SAFE: Choreograph everything:(Star Wars Movie)
 * 5. Never Work With Children.... (Star Wars Movie)
 * 7. Write a Script. If the actors don’t know what they are doing, the film (and their credits) are at stake... (Star Wars Movie)
 * 3. There Was A Title, But Frasier Stole This Device (Renamed "Never Disobey the Don") (Mafia Movie)
 * 4. Never Get A Mobster Mad... (Mafia Movie)
 * 6. Never Fail The Don (Mafia Movie)
 * 1. Make Sure You Have More Than One Take... (Cop Movie)
 * 4. Off-Duty Cops Are Boring (Cop Movie)
 * 1,Make Sure Your Lightsaber Works

Parts Written By Both Of The Tomlinson Brothers
Many of the Sequences were originally an idea by one or other of the brothers, but the lines spoken in the final production were either a combination of both brothers ideas, or were the sole idea of the other brother.

Below is a list of all of these scenes:

And Back by Popular Demand: Earl the Dog (Mafia Movie)
 * 2. Never EVER EVER have singalongs... (Star Wars Movie, also songs contained were not either of the Brother's songs)
 * 6. Check The Setting Before Filming. (Watch the window behind the action...) (Star Wars Movie)
 * 8. If You Don't have the correct Props, Don't Bother..... (Star Wars Movie)
 * 5. No Cry-Baby's (Mafia Movie)
 * 8. If You Don't have the correct Props, Don't Bother..... (Mafia Movie)
 * 8. If You Don't Have The Props, Don't Bother...
 * 3. Never Have World Records (Cop Movie)
 * 5. Make Sure Your Tip-Offs Are Correct (Cop Movie)
 * Main Titles (Cop Movie)
 * 3,What'd We Tell You Last Time!? NO SINGALONGS!!!
 * 4,Jedi are disagreeable &%$@s, don't put faith in their patience or temper....
 * 5,No Lightsaber Fights
 * 6,Don't Infringe on copyright

There is also a single scene that is actually not written by either of the Tomlinson Brothers. This scene is unaccredited.