Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/SSA-306


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

SSA-306
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 14:07, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 16:58, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 14:41, 26 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:08, 26 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:46, 26 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:19, 26 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:53, 26 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 20:46, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) * Seeing unnecessary dialogue in it's biography. "OOM-9 relied this order to a squad of security battle droids, telling them to take Amidala and other prisoners—the Theed governor Sio Bibble, the captain of Royal Naboo Security Forces Panaka, several Security Forces' members and Amidala's handmaidens—to the prison called Camp Four." Too much here, also it's a run-on
 * 3) **Removed the unnecessary part. If you want me to cut it down more, just ask, but I feel it is important to name all prisoners.
 * 4) ***Indeed it is.
 * 5) * "SSA-306 was a member of the squad of droids that escorted the prisoners to the camp." try to mention this eariler&mdash;around my previous objection.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * SSA-306 was an OOM security battle droid built by Baktoid Combat Automata for the Trade Federation Droid Army. Merge this sentence with the paragraph below it.
 * 8) **Merged.
 * 9) *Other than that, good work :) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **Thanks for your review. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) From the Council Chambers:
 * 2) * "Viceroy Nute Gunray ordered to take her for processing.": Ordered who?
 * 3) **He ordered OOM-9, who then sent his security droids. There was a bit about it, but Jang felt that it was unnecessary, so I removed it. Should I restore it? <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***Try simply saying "Gunray ordered his droids to&hellip;". This would still be accurate, as Gunray almost certainly knew that OOM-9 would involve other droids in carrying out the order&mdash;the prisoners were worth too much to have only one droid guarding them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 19:04, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ****Ok, I've followed your advice and added "his droids". Can't think of something better :P <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Good job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:16, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thanks. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * "SSA-306 was one of the OOM..." and the next sentence starts "He was one of the droids...". Maybe change the first sentence to simply "SSA-306 was an OOM..." then you don't have two almost identical sounding sentences back to back.
 * 2) * Biography section last sentence: "SSA-306, along with the rest of the droid escort, was destroyed by the Jedi." Grammatically, it's just fine, but it reads just a tiny bit strange to me. "SSA-306 was destroyed by the Jedi, along with the rest of the droid escort." seems to flow better.
 * 3) **Both addressed. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **Both addressed. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Other than these two very minor details, looks great. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 19:40, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

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