Wookieepedia:April Fools' Day 2013/Dave Filoni

"When Revenge of the Sith was over, I found myself in the incredible position of carrying the torch forward. Fans will just love what I have in store for them! I've just created this young girl named Ahsoka&hellip;she constantly kicks ass, saves the day, and is all over my office now! Ahsoka will be everywhere. I can assure you that Ahsoka will be in over 100 episodes, comics, books, and even all over my house. Ahsoka on t-shirts? Why not!"

- Dave Filoni on the origins of The Clone Wars, the death of Star Wars as we know it. Dave Filoni is a man who is dreaded among Star Wars fans. Because of his many contributions and plentiful directorial experience Filoni was named the director of the painful Star Wars: The Clone Wars feature film. After it failed miserably, Filoni continued onward by tacking on "supervising" to his director title in order to grab all credit. As his first act under this title, he introduced the canon-contradictory show Star Wars: The Clone Wars to the world. From 2008 to 2013, fans everywhere screamed in horror as Filoni replaced everything in continuity with his own works. Straight from his memoir, The Book of Filoni, content within The Clone Wars adhered significantly to Filoni's own personal and fanboy dreams. As fans watched the show, everyone saw this annoying orange girl named Ahsoka Tano. Thanks to her existence, Star Wars will never be the same. Why? Take a good look at this shit. Thanks, Filoni.

As the show marched forward, it crushed and destroyed all canon in sight. Sweeping continuity and replacing it with Ahsoka, shoehorned original trilogy dialogue, characters named after Filoni's pets, this guy, and his close friend. The end of TCW looked every much dim and there was nothing stopping Filoni and his followers from destroying and crushing Star Wars. Until...........Disney, everyone's favorite. Disney assumed direct control of Lucasfilm and placed TCW on lockdown. Everything was halted and nothing was let loose. For Filoni, his job and days at Lucasfilm were over. March 2, 2013 would be the day of much rejoicing. Victory cheers and massive celebrations filled the world. TCW was finally cancelled, ending its destructive nature. Filoni retreated, heading back to his basement to continue writing The Book of Filoni and continuing TCW. Much like the fans, Disney was now his enemy. Filoni rose up from the challenge and quickly drew and drew endless Ahsoka episodes. Using his crayon and pencil, he happily drew on pieces of paper and scenes of TCW episodes soon filled his entire basement. Taking with him his works, Filoni marched to Disney's front door and demanded them to give him back his beloved show. Filoni himself used the drawn out episodes as a way to entice them, and Disney decided to give into Filoni's demands. Disney then named him the director of the show&mdash;Star Wars: Muppet's.

Things failed miserably for Filoni. Though he was thrilled and excited to show Disney his pilot episode, Disney facepalmed and threw his ass out onto the street. Filoni questioned and wondered why. He had thought they loved the fact that Ahsoka would be in the show and that many characters from TCW, like Cad Bean and this guy, would join her. Filoni decided to rethink his life and renamed himself to Dave the Janitor. Taking on a day job at McDonald's, Filoni swept and cleaned the bathrooms. He would spray away any stain that stood in his way and used his favorite orange rag which he named Ahsoka. Things were looking brighter now for Mr. Filoni.

Life
"When I was little, I use to have all kinds of fantasies about being part of Star Wars! I used to dream about George Lucas at night, in school, and even in the bathroom."

- Filoni, giving details about his younger days

Filoni grew up in Mt. Lebanon, Pennsylvania. While attending Mt. Lebanon High School, Filoni was in the school's marching band as well as player goaltender for the hockey team. He went on to attend Edinboro University.

Career with Star Wars
"I always get worried about disrupting continuity. I seem to get blamed for that a lot. Those goddamn fans."

- Dave Filoni

Filoni made an appearance at Celebration IV on Sunday, May 28, 2007 with producer Catherine Winder in the Celebration Theater (Room 408AB), to discuss the beginnings of the new television series and reveal how The Clone Wars is being created. He will also be writing for the Clone Wars monthly comic. Dave Filoni's office, as seen in the extra features on the Star Wars: The Clone Wars DVD, is filled with Plo Koon paraphernalia. He has a bust of Plo Koon's head, a model of Plo Koon's ship, an autographed portrait by the actor who played Plo Koon, a replica of Plo Koon's lightsaber on his desk, and his personal Plo Koon costume on display.

Filoni also has a note book sized planner on his desk with Plo Koon's picture taped to the outside. Filoni also has a small model of the character Appa (From Avatar: The Last Airbender) on his desk and an even larger model of Ahsoka on his floor. He is also a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Pittsburgh Penguins. He even colored a character to represent this love. Filoni dressed up as the Jedi Master for the opening of Revenge of the Sith and later dressed up as Ahsoka for the opening of The Clone Wars movie.

Filoni's day-to-day job at Lucasfilm included various tasks: Make sure everyone loved his ideas and make sure the writers included Ahsoka in his works. The writers adhered to his motto: WITHOUT AHSOKA, IT WILL NOT BE APPROVED. Stories will not receive his "Plo Kool" stamp of Filoni approval if they ignored the motto. Instead, Filoni would rip the paper in front of the writer, force the writer to wear an Ahsoka costume, and force him/her to write the story again.

Fallout with Star Wars
"THIS SUCKS NO MORE ASOAKA REALY I HATE STAR WARS NOW F*** DISNEY CHANAL! NO MORE ASOKA THIS FREAKING SUCKS!"

- An undercover Filoni vandalizing the Memory Aurek wiki

2012 looked very interesting for Star Wars. Unlike the previous years which were gigantic nightmares for fans, 2012 was relatively quiet. Shit just got real for everyone when Disney announced its great plans to take over Lucasfilm and its Star Wars brand. For Filoni, he saw this as a good opportunity to delve and advertise his beloved show even more. However, fortunately this was not the case, as Disney kept its "remove TCW" plans to itself until March 2nd. The entire world lit up and rejoiced as Disney announced that TCW will be no more. Gone are the days of fearing for continuity and seeing Ahsoka's face. Though the decision to can TCW was very much approved for the Memory Aurek wiki, some fans just hated it. Still, Disney did not care and proceeded to eliminate, exterminate and remove anyone from Filoni's team. One by one, people were let go. As things got worse, Filoni went crazy and started to read everything on the internets, including negative reviews of TCW. Hell, Filoni even went on the Memory Aurek wiki, then known as Wookieepedia, to share his inner feelings of TCW's cancellation. Using his IP address, Filoni created a SH forum and submitted his feelings.

The man could not take it and retreated to his basement. Shocked, puzzled and crying in his Ahsoka pillow, Filoni knew that his days at Lucasfilm were over. Filoni did not give up hope. He pulled himself together and took out stacks of blank sheets of paper. He sharpened his pencils, took out his box of crayons, and began to draw out episodes of TCW. Sheets of paper flew across the air as Filoni drew relentlessly. One by one, each paper featured Ahsoka doing just about anything TCW showed. He even had Plo Koon dying in her arms in his intended series finale! Yes, even when that would have contradicted the hell out of Revenge of the Sith. To the many readers of The Book of Filoni, this decision would be infamously known as the Revenge of the Filoni. Back in the day, Lucas warned Filoni to stop including that goddamn character everywhere. During his time in his basement, it was said that he continued to write The Book of Filoni.

Within a few days, Filoni had drawn out the true TCW series, complete with his own ideas. Knowing this could be his chance at redemption, Filoni grabbed his work, stuffed them in his Ahsoka backpack, and marched toward Disney's headquarters. Using the drawings as a way to entice them, Filoni showed them each piece of paper one at a time. Through Filoni's perspective, he thought that he thrilled Disney's executives through his drawings. In reality, they were so fucking annoyed that they gave into his demands. Filoni walked out of the headquarters a happy man that day. He was named the future director of this new Star Wars show called Star Wars: Muppet's. When the day came to begin work on the new show, Filoni happily reinvited his old team and got to work. In a matter of a week, the show's pilot was completed and ready to be shown to his Disney overlords. As the executives watched the show, they sat in horror as they saw the destruction of Jim Henson's once famous masterpiece. The show had all of the elements of TCW, including Filoni's favorite Ahsoka.

Enraged, Disney stopped the show half way and demanded Filoni to get the fuck out of the studo. When Filoni ignored them and placed his hands on his ears, security guards dressed as stormtroopers grabbed a hold of Filoni and dragged his ass to the front door there. Once there, the stormtroopers tossed him out onto the street and even threw his papers that he had drawn in his basement. Confused, Filoni questioned what had he done and what went wrong. He thought that Disney loved the fact that Ahsoka appeared. Even many characters, such as the Cad Bean, the wioefwipefg, and the Plo Koon, appeared alongside Ahsoka! Though Filoni was SOL and decided to retire from directing....and there was more rejoicing.

Rise of the Janitor
"Take the rag named Ahsoka. Spray on some Windex. Wipe on, wipe off."

- Filoni, teaching his janitor team at McDoanld's

According to Filoni, he took some time "to rethink his life" (a piece of dialogue he took from Attack of the Clones), and came out of his depression a happy man. Near the Disney headquarters, Filoni applied for a day job at the McDonald's. Following his success interview, Filoni was hired. Not as a fryer, not as a cashier, not as a drive thru guy, but as a janitor. Thrilled, Filoni renamed himself as Dave the Janitor, as a tribute to his once favorite show. Filoni assumed control over a team that lacked any leadership. Filoni, assuming he had leadership capabilities, named himself leader and taught the janitors a thing or two about cleaning windows, scrubbing toilets, and mopping floors. Filoni enjoyed every minute of new job. When the store closed, Filoni was in charge of cleaning and maintaining the entire restaurant. Filoni cleaned the tables, mopped the floors. He even sprayed Windex in the air and sang "Singing in the Rain."

Where's Filoni?
If you are a fan of The Clone Wars, then you are in luck. The Memory Aurek wiki will reveal all of Filoni's surprise cameo and easter egg moments from the show. Can you tell which episodes he was in?

Star Wars: Muppet's director

 * Muppet's Pilot