Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Nute Gunray (third nomination)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Nute Gunray
> JangFett  Talk 02:55, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 17:37, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Before I even start reviewing it, there are sourcing issues throughout. There's a fact tag in the Bts, and all of the succession boxes at the bottom of the article require sourcing.  CC7567  (talk) 03:00, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed
 * 3) Darth Trayus
 * 4) *The intro is way too short for a character that spans three movies, a television show, and numerous novels, comics, and sourcebooks. Same goes for the body of the article. I'll look over the intro in-depth once it's expanded greatly. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:01, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ** As per restoration, the only issue is sourcing the and TCW content. The intro could use a few more sentences around the main events of Gunray.
 * 6) ***Just because that was the reason for FA removal doesn't mean that is all that is required to get it restored. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:15, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Addressed and rewrote the intro. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *****Good job with the expansion. However, there are some wording issues that I would like to point out. For instance when you say "He forced the incumbent Queen of Naboo Padmé Amidala to sign a treaty to make the invasion of his legal, however she denied and the Siege of Naboo continued.", the meaning is convoluted. The beginning of the sentence implies that Gunray did indeed force Amidala to sign the treaty, while the end of the sentence indicates that he was unable to do so. More appropriate wording would be "He attempted to force the incumbent...." in order to make the events clearer. There are several other instances of tense issues and wording confusion, so just run back through it and clear up any you see. If you need help let me know. I'll also be giving you a list of appearances of Gunray's that need to be expanded upon in the body. Good Luck. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:43, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *******Addressed
 * 3) ********Not addressed. Like I said, there are numerous issues of wording, tense, and sentence flow throughout the introduction. Please, reread your introduction and fix those errors. If you need help finding them, let me know on my talk page and I'll help you out. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 02:46, 15 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *********Seriously, unless the intro can be written up to basic grammatical and lexical standards and have its numerous spelling mistakes corrected, this nomination is going nowhere. Please consider what a sentence such as "During the ten years following the Invasion of Naboo, Gunray confronted former Jedi Master, Count Dooku..." means. It reads as if throughout the entire ten year period, Gunray was "confronting" Dooku. Unless a nomination is well-written &mdash; and I'm not talking stodgy prose, I'm talking the basics such as sentence structure &mdash; it should not be up on the FAN page. Look through the intro again, with a spellchecker, reading it out loud preferably, and consider where things may be unclear. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 09:27, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * There's not even an FAnom tag on the page. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:37, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I got it up.  CC7567  (talk) 05:39, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I find it hard to believe that now a few ref tags have been slapped on Nute Gunray is suddenly worthy of FAdom&hellip;from what I can see the article needs to go back to bedrock, seeing as the bulk of it is a leftover from 2006 and 2007, when standards for FAs were less stringent. But I'll leave it to the pros. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:37, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have to agree with Harrar. The level of detail on this article is minimum at best. The writing is disjointed and there are major chunks of his life missing. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 18:49, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * The article suffers from serious presentation and detail problems. I would suggest asking the Inquisitorius to remove the nomination, and then rewrite the article from scratch in much greater detail, though it would be advisable to get experience writing FAs with simpler, shorter and easier articles. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:16, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove nom (Inquisitorius only) > JangFett  Talk 13:47, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Per above objections. Much more detail needed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:29, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *With all due respect, I am willing to bring Gunray back to FA. Whatever objection is listed, I will fulfill and correct what is needed in the article. I am aware that my nomination got off to a rocky start, but in time the article will be worthy of being FA once again. I apologize to anyone that has listed an objection and I did not address the issue properly. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Nominator has requested the removal of the nomination. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 19:36, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Vote to not remove nom just quite yet (Inquisitorius only)
 * 1) I'm willing to give the nominator a chance to make significant improvements to the article in the next week or two. If not, then I'll gladly join the remove votes.  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:54, 9 June 2009 (UTC)