Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Garth Breise (second nomination)

Garth Breise

 * Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 17:50, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

We've got Impcoming

 * Hey now, most of the unaddressed issues from this article's previous GA nomination are still present.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Yep, there's still work to do. OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * When nominating other such status articles, please keep in mind that you should resolve any such outstanding issues before nominating the article.  Imperators II (Talk) 20:28, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * We need a category for ExGal members. I believe Danni Quee is also one, for example.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * That category doesn't exist. Should I create it? OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * If there really are other known ExGal members other than Breise, then yes.  Imperators II (Talk) 20:28, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done and done. And I mean done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:14, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * For future reference, please note that categories should be listed in alphabetical order.  Imperators II (Talk) 01:54, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * You don't need to link stuff in quotes if you mention it in the article's body.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Date is infobox- and intro-exclusive...  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * ... and it needs to be referenced to a source other than the novel, such as The Essential Reader's Companion, with a manual ref note if necessary.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Looking for a source. Your idea sounds good. OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 12:32, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Last sentence of BTS is unnecessary.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Actually, in the BTS I'd only keep the novel's name, release date, and author.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Please split up the first paragraph of Bio and chuck it under another subsection.  Imperators II (Talk) 19:58, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Could you clarify how much of the section that is and what info I should move? OtterSurf (talk) 20:21, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Start by splitting up the very first paragraph of Bio into smaller paragraphs. Then put them into another subsection(s) as necessary so there's not just the single "Death" one.  Imperators II (Talk) 20:28, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:55, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Did Yomin Carr go by an alias while undercover? If so, I think we should try to mostly use that in the article instead.  Imperators II (Talk) 20:28, December 31, 2018 (UTC)
 * Nope, the ExGal team knew him as Yomin Carr. OtterSurf (talk) 11:19, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * The Essential Reader's Companion mentions that "Carr destroys the station’s communications systems and proceeds to kill the ExGal scientists," which I believe constitutes an indirect mention of Breise, therefore necessitating the addition of the book to Sources with an Imo tag.  Imperators II (Talk) 01:54, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done! OtterSurf (talk) 09:49, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * "dubious prestige" in intro is point-of-view, please revise.  Imperators II (Talk) 01:54, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:49, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * "He was one of the first galactic citizens to encounter a Yuuzhan Vong advance agent, as well as one of the first to be killed by one" &mdash; I believe this whole sentence is factually inaccurate; this section of our own article on the Yuuzhan Vong is littered with examples that contradict this. (I can personally confirm that at least some of that info is true.)  Imperators II (Talk) 15:37, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * Admittedly, this did always jar with me a little. Boba Fett: A Practical Man probably also disproves it as well. I'll remove it. OtterSurf (talk) 18:06, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * First sentence of Bio needs context for ExGal-4 and Belkadan.  Imperators II (Talk) 01:54, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * All done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:49, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * Saying Breise was a scientist is redundant to saying he was an astronomer.  Imperators II (Talk) 01:55, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:49, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * The first paragraph of "Death" is overly long, see if you can split it into several smaller ones.  Imperators II (Talk) 15:37, January 3, 2019 (UTC)

Anil

 * Does Breise appear in the audiobook version of the novel? If so, audiofiles for the quotes can be added. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * No idea. OtterSurf (talk) 11:20, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * A friendly reminder that this one is still here. You can ask others for help if you can't find the audiobook yourself. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 12:11, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * I can confirm he does have lines, but I have no way of extracting anything. Do you know anyone I could ask? Doesn't seem fair to go bothering Clonehunter whenever we need audio files. OtterSurf (talk) 14:51, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * I think Yomin Carr is important enough to be mentioned by name in the intro. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:21, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Duplicate references. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Can't find those, sorry. OtterSurf (talk) 11:26, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * First two sections of the Biography and the Personality and traits have consecutive ref [2]s. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 23:09, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * If you're only using one reference for a paragraph, you only need one ref tag, at the end of the paragraph. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 23:42, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:35, January 2, 2019 (UTC)
 * Isn't there another quote available for the Biography section? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * I'll rack my memory. Been a while since I read the novel. OtterSurf (talk) 11:21, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:36, January 2, 2019 (UTC)
 * Are there other quotes available for the other subsections of the Biography? It is OK if not, but you should check for quotes for every section when promoting an article for status. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 12:11, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * I don't own the novel anymore, which makes this harder, but luckily Google Books has been forthcoming. I've found the most relevant quote possible for every section. OtterSurf (talk) 15:36, January 3, 2019 (UTC)
 * I think the image in the Death section would be better at the right, so it wouldn't mess with the header for "Personality and traits." TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:22, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Duplicate links for Yomin Carr. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:25, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * I think the article could use some more pipelinking, such as Galaxy/Legends for the second use of the word "galaxy" (aside from The galaxy/Legends), Listening post/Legends for the mentions of the exploratory base, Yuuzhan Vong War when mentioning the Vong thread, Imperial standard meter etc. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:53, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * The article body lacks context for Yuuzhan Vong. Something similar to the one in the intro should be enough. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 08:03, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 11:46, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * You need to identify ExGal as the Extragalactic Society at some point in the body. Everything in the intro also should appear in the body. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 23:42, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:43, January 2, 2019 (UTC)
 * Always call people by their last names unless they share their last name, like Leia Organa and Bail Organa. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg  Anıl Şerifoğlu  (talk) 23:42, January 1, 2019 (UTC)
 * Done! I've used his full name in some areas. OtterSurf (talk) 10:40, January 2, 2019 (UTC)