Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Bel


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bel
> JangFett  Talk 15:47, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: 360 words, my count.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Clone Commander Lee 19:09, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) After the reviews below, I don't see any further problems. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:23, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Good work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:17, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:16, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 03:21, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:20, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Object


 * 1) Clone Commander Lee
 * 2) * He was killed on the third moon of Vassek and not on Vassek self.
 * 3) **Adressed
 * 4) * Is it anywhere stated that Bel befriended Niner or is that presumed.
 * 5) **It is likely that they're friends. Other examples would be CC-7567 and CC-2224.
 * 6) * Nowhere in youre article it is written that Niner and Bel informed the team that Grievous fighter was approaching.
 * 7) **Addressed, thanks for the review Lee.
 * 8) *Otherwise good. --Clone Commander Lee 18:31, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) The Grand Master
 * 10) * The first sentence of the bio and intro are identical. Please change one of them up a bit.
 * 11) **I used the same layout as my Axe GA.
 * 12) *** And, admittedly, I should have caught that one there, too :P. This one remains.
 * 13) ****Okay, changed. Added context for "Clone Wars" in the bio :P
 * 14) * "Fil paired Bel with fellow trooper Niner and were ordered to patrol their shuttle, while the rest of the group enters a nearby castle." Please correct: grammar and tense. Same tense problem in bio.
 * 15) **Addressed
 * 16) *** Please check the tense in both.
 * 17) ****Addressed, if it still remains I need some specifics.
 * 18) * "He served in Commander Fil's squad, whom accompanied recently promoted Jedi Knight Nahdar Vebb during a mission around 22 BBY." Grammar check&mdash;right now, the "whom" would technically be referring to the squad. Also, this sentence is from Fil's perspective, and so isn't really clear whether or not Bel went on the mission, too. (This also needs to be fixed in the bio.)
 * 19) **Addressed
 * 20) * The intro is a little too big proportionately to the bio.
 * 21) **I fixed it up a bit.
 * 22) * BTS could probably be expanded somewhat; e.g. add some context for Lair of Grievous.
 * 23) **Same with my Axe GA, I used the same layout. I once did add context for "Storm Over Ryloth", but it was cut. Thanks for the review Jonny :)
 * 24) *** That's fine, but I still think there's something that could be added, to beef it up a bit. Maybe just the episode's air date, or something of the like. And no problem man, anytime :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 19:13, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Airdate added :)
 * 26) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:37, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) Trayus
 * 28) * Tense issues in the intro, as Jonjedigrandmaster pointed out above.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * In the intro, state why Fil ordered them to contact the fleet for reinforcements.
 * 31) **Addressed
 * 32) ***...where?
 * 33) ****Bah, sorry, addressed :P
 * 34) * Why were there MagnaGuards on that moon?
 * 35) **I placed General Grievous before the MagnaGuard link in the bio. Any more additional detail of them would be redundant.
 * 36) ***I was refering to the intro, and if you address the objection above, it should take care of this as well.
 * 37) ****Okay.
 * 38) * "and participated with the squad during the mission to the third moon of Vassek." - wording issues. This should read "Bel participated in a mission to the third moon of Vassek alongside the squad", or something like that.
 * 39) **Gah. I reworded it in the bio and fixed it up in the intro, hope that helps :)
 * 40) * You make it sound as though Fisto and Vebb were the mission leaders from the beginning. Make it clear that Fisto met Vebb and his forces only after they reached the surface the moon.
 * 41) **Addressed
 * 42) * More tense issues in the bio. Never ever use "enters". Please replace all instances with "entered".
 * 43) **Thanks for the tip Trayus :) I reworded it.
 * 44) * Who's ship was approaching? You need to specify.
 * 45) **Addressed
 * 46) * Why did Fil need reinforcements? You need to specify.
 * 47) **Addressed
 * 48) * You can't really say that Bel befriended Niner. There's no evidence to support that.
 * 49) **Speculation removed.
 * 50) * Can you find a picture of Bel only for the infobox?
 * 51) **I'm going to move the current infobox image to the bio and place a cropped image of Bel in the infobox. Thanks for the review Trayus.
 * 52) * Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:31, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) The Grand Master: Part II
 * 54) * "Eventually, Fil ordered them to contact their fleet for reinforcements, due to the lack of support the group had." "Lack of support the group had" is rather vague. I think this could be worded more a little more clearly, or at least less colloquially.
 * 55) **Addressed
 * 56) * The purpose of the mission should be stated in the intro and bio.
 * 57) **Addressed
 * 58) * "Served" is used in both of the first two sentences of the intro; this should probably be varied. Also "the mission" is used twice in the same sentence in the bio.
 * 59) **Addressed
 * 60) * "Fil told both clone troopers to contact the fleet near the Inner rim planet of Bestine for reinforcements, due to the lack of support the group inside the castle had." The last part of this could be worded better grammatically; and it could also be made a little clearer.
 * 61) **Addressed
 * 62) *Good work, Jang :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 03:54, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) **Thanks for the 2nd review Jonny :)

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