Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Palleus Chuff


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Palleus Chuff

 * Nominated by:  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:20, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 21:58, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:04, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:28, 4 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --Eyrezer 02:03, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) -- Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:45, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "The goal of this mission was to fool the galaxy into believing that the real Yoda was on the Ithorian homeworld, as Dooku emphasized discretion." What do you mean by "Dooku emphasized discretion"?
 * 3) **Expanded
 * 4) * "Unfortunately for Chuff..." Unfortunately is POV.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "At one point, the FIII Footman droid Solis contacted Ventress." A tad bit more context on Solis, since the way you introduce him at this point gives the feel of him being spoken of previously in the article, which isn't the case.
 * 7) **Expanded a bit.
 * 8) *** I still think a bit more context needs to be added. Who's attendant was Solis? I also don't like the "joined the mission to a later timepoint" bit. I think his position could be explained a little better, maybe briefly stating his reasons for taking interest in Ventress' mission. Briefly. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:28, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Should be better now.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:25, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *That's all. Not bad. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:14, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Tommy. Let me know if you're not yet satisfied with the article.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  14:49, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 13) * I think it's missing a word like "transaction" here: "after a business with the FIII Footman..."
 * 14) **Added
 * 15) * You use both "role-playing" and "roleplaying." Which is correct?
 * 16) **I was told that "role-playing" is a bit more usual, so I took this.
 * 17) * This sentence doesn't make much sense and feels completely out of place. "Dooku attached great importance that the upcoming peace talk stayed secret and that it would not be used as a strategical opportunity."
 * 18) **Removed, since it's not really related to his biography
 * 19) * "Arriving in the system, Ventress had already killed three of the four pilots." This makes it sound like she killed the pilots before arriving in the system. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:09, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Rephrased. Thanks for the review, Xwing, and let me know if further work is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  23:13, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Are there no applicable quotes? Not even a lead? —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:14, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Sorry that it took so long to answer, but I had some stress in real life lately. I was regurarly online, but didn't have enough time to recheck the book. However, I've done this as of now and found a better lead quote that I had missed during the GAN review. However, the other quotes do not really give an impression of the subject. Since I'm not a big fan of such simple quotes, I didn't add any of them. Let me know if that's not fine for you.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:26, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * That is actually a splendid quote. Good choice. And I agree with you about not choosing simple quotes just for the sake of having them. Well done. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:47, 18 June 2009 (UTC)