Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."

How to vote:

Also remember to add Nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Major issues listed here have been addressed. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *You've done a nice job, Yrfeloran, making some major additions to this article. Unfortunately, it's still quite a ways away from being up to FA standards. Without even reading through, I pick up on the following problems:
 * 3) * The infobox must be completely sourced, as does the succession box at the bottom of the page.
 * 4) **Done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Complete sourcing includes sourcing the "Era(s)" field. I've done this for you, but please source this next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:44, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Any quotes within the article must go at the beginning of sections, after the subhead, not in the middle of paragraphs.
 * 7) **Most of those were residual old paragraphs - done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *The entire article is little more than 1-2 sentence paragraphs summarizing events. While I'm certainly not a huge prequel trilogy fan, having never read the majority of these sources, this tells me that you've done just that, quickly generalizing important topics while skipping out on juicy details. Featured Articles must be comprehensive, not only including material from all relevant sources, but also detailing that information to a great degree. An article like Dooku, for as much information is out there on him, should have dozens of paragraphs several sentences in length. It's just too thin right now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:50, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ** There was a formatting issue with some prior authors' styles, which I've now fixed. It now "looks better". As for actual content, there have been significant expansions and section mergings. Dooku's article over the period of the movies was probably more in-depth than recently re-FAd Grievous, for instance, even before I revamped it. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) LtNOWIS
 * 11) * Image:Quarren league.jpg, Image:DookuVSGrievous.jpg, and Image:DookuBTS.jpg need more specific sources. The Clone Wars shots need to specify which episodes, and the databank shot needs a link to the page it's from. -LtNOWIS 10:19, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Muuuuuurgh helped with this. Thanks, Muuuuuurgh! Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 14) * Needs a longer and more comprehensive intro.
 * 15) ** Intro has been expanded somewhat. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I won't get specific, but it's way too light on detail. Most of the article is just short paragraph, then a new section.
 * 17) *This can be brought to FA, but it will take a lot of time and commitment. If you can do it, I commend you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:30, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) More stuff from me:
 * 19) * Both Sith Apprentice and Leaving the Order have paragrpahs that are no more than one or two sentences. Combine sentences in those sections or expand them.
 * 20) **Combination and expansion done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Combine the sections Jedi confrontation and successful escape.
 * 22) **Done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * You link way too much. Link onc ein the intro and then once in the body.
 * 24) **This was kind of inevitable, since the original article was overlinked and additions were made piecemeal. I think I've pruned about all of them Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * De-link the quote in Endgame.
 * 26) **Done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Remove the sentence about Quinlan Vos in the Legacy section.
 * 28) **done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *I am very impressed with what you've done so far. Keep up the good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) From the legal pad scrawling of Atarumaster88
 * 31) * Lot of short paragraphs need fleshed out or combined with others.
 * 32) **I've done a fair bit of this. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * I'd say remove some of the shorter sections by combining them with others also.
 * 34) ** And a lot of section combining Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Compare your appearances/sources list to the reference list. A quick check reveals no information from the following:
 * 36) ** Star Wars: Battlefront
 * 37) ** Some of those HoloNet news.
 * 38) ** Boba Fett: Crossfire
 * 39) ** Republic 49.
 * 40) ** Legacy of the Jedi
 * 41) ** And I'm sure there are more.
 * 42) ***Most of those were actually there - Legacy was ref'd 8 times, Crossfire and 49 were there but cited as Fight to Survive and 50. I did some expansion on the HNN stuff and added Battlefront. Yrfeloran 03:00, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) *Needs a non-canon appearance section. (Ugh)
 * 44) **I'm probably going to need help with this one. I've got the bare bones of one up. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I see most of them done. Is there additional information in the LEGO video games that's not there yet? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:22, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) * Properly reference all Clone Wars cartoon series references by chapter.
 * 47) **Done for all IU refs Yrfeloran 03:35, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) *It's a lot better than it was, but still will need work, as others have already said. Feel free to drop by WP:NEGTC for additional help, though, or my talk page. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) From the full-fledged desk of Atarumaster88
 * 50) * Dooku's role in Jedi:Shaak Ti could use mention.
 * 51) **OK, it's got a mention Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) * Same thing with Republic 54.
 * 53) **Somebody who's read this in the past year definitely needs to double-check, but added. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * I'm not seeing any information from the Shadowfeed.
 * 55) **Added Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) ***<There are three or four Shadowfeed appearances in the appearance list, but only 1 reference that I saw. Did you get them all?
 * 57) ****There's one trivial one, and the fragment of a Fete day address that doesn't have much content besides "we're awesome, Republic sucks" Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) * Mention Dooku's role in the Battle of Jabiim.
 * 59) **mentioned Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * Check also Republic 59, 60, and 61. I forget whether those have key mentions.
 * 61) ** They don't, but I added 64 Yrfeloran 00:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) * Yoda's lesson to Dooku in EGTTF might be good P&T material.
 * 63) ** I was thinking about doing that, but it's hard to wedge it in. He's like 7, too. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) ***Added an oblique mention in Childhood Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * Your EGTTF refs, at least, are all off and are seemingly removing content from the article.There's a sentence or two missing from his tutelage under Cerulian. When you reference, your first reference to a source should like like, but your subsequent references should only include to avoid errors. And also, the field of , the blah part is just a placeholder and so you can abbreviate to shorten the code, just keep it understandable.
 * 66) **The Thame stuff was due to a different malformed reference that I fixed. I'll trim some of these as I come across them, but with the amount of paragraph merging/etc. going around it is really useful as an editor in this particular situation to have more than one ref linked. Also "blah" should be full source name per Layout Guide, which I agree with. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Heh, I stand corrected. Though the use of abbreviated referencing is sorta common. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Yeah, there's some legacy ones on the Dooku page, but on an article this size when you're editing a section at a time it's a -massive- pain to look up what the page's nickname of the source you want is. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) * All your references have the same error, it appears.
 * 70) * " Though Dooku's behavior and beliefs as a Jedi had previously been within the scope of Jedi orthodoxy,[1] there is evidence that in the period before he left the Order he flirted with the belief that the dark side of the Force could be called upon without personal corruption.[17]." This sentence is OOU and should be rewritten to conform with the MoS. At the very least, the tense is wrong.
 * 71) **Fixed I guess. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) * Lot of short sentences in the last paragraph of "Leaving the Order".
 * 73) **Made some a little longer? Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Need context on Palpatine. His double identity as Darth Sidious is not discussed, and the casual reader may not be awareof that.
 * 75) **Added this. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * OOU/tense issues with this: "It is suspected that Dooku himself did this, but it is unclear how he accomplished it." also. Recall that EGTTF is an IU publication, if that helps.
 * 77) ** Fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) * Jumps back and forth about his Sith status. He's supposed to be a Sith Lord in "Sith apprentice" but his Sith training is still ongoing during the Bando Gora episode. Clarify please.
 * 79) ** Noncontradictory. One becomes an apprentice first, then learns Sith stuff. See Vader. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) ***You have him listed as a "fully-fledged Sith Lord", not as a Sith apprentice, and then went on to later discuss his training.
 * 81) **** OK, removed the adjective Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) * 2nd paragraph of "Moving the pieces" could use a more varied sentence syntax.
 * 83) **fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 84) * "To the surprise of both parties, Dooku himself was present". Present where? Needs more context.
 * 85) ** Added context Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) * More context needed on initial mention of Vos and Secura.
 * 87) ** Added a little bit here. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) * More context needed on Ansion's alliances and Dooku's manipulations there.
 * 89) ** Added Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * "The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi then traced Jango back to his home on the planet Kamino. Kenobi found Jango Fett there, and also discovered the clone army that Dooku had once ordered. This army was now fully grown and ready for action." Condense this, but give some more context in general on Episode II. The Jedi rescue force in particular.
 * 91) ** OK, did a little more context.
 * 92) * Be specific about some Episode II details. List the factions involved in the CIS. List the creatures in the arena.
 * 93) ** Done, though the CIS stuff inevitably comes across as a little listy.
 * 94) * In general, it is not advisable to use the first names of characters. A few exceptions might include major characters, but not, say, Zam Wesell.
 * 95) ** OK Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) * More detail on arena battle and Dooku's role in it.
 * 97) ** Uh, OK, added that he watched from the balcony :P Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) * 2nd para of "The clones attack" is all short sentences.
 * 99) ** fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * "spectacular duel" is POV.
 * 101) ** fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) * Sev'rance Tann's role in Dooku's escape from Geonosis, as well as the Dark Acolytes blocking Windu in their tanks should be mentioned.
 * 103) ** Like Padme falling out of the gunship, I don't think this is really directly relevant to Dooku's article. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) ***I'll accept the explanation on the tanks, but I think Sev'rance Tann's role as the chief commander of the droid armies could use some explanation, and that ties in well with her role in helping Dooku escape. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) ****I added a little more context with Tann in the proper section. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 106) *You're about halfway to my ending catchphrase, but I think there's plenty here for now. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 107) " Even as the Separatist movement grew and coalesced around Dooku as a leader, the Jedi Council did not believe he could be behind the violence.[24] although he". I think your reference is eating some of your text here.
 * 108) **fixed Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) * 3 short paragraphs in "A new ally" could use merging.
 * 110) ** I did a little bit of addition, but I think merging those paragraphs would hurt more than it'd help Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 111) * More context needed on "Sidious said that it did not matter either way.".
 * 112) ** Added Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 113) * This is related to above, but Tann's role and actions are never explained properly in relation to Dooku.
 * 114) **Tried to address this Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) * Again, check your linking. A lot of things are overlinked, but don't worry too much about it; that can be corrected automatically.
 * 116) * The first name thing is fine with say, Anakin and Obi-Wan as long as it's not overrused, but certainly not with minor characters. Nothing you haven't seen before. ;-)
 * 117) ** I'll fix it as I go, but not for, say, Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 118) ***Spoilsport. :-P Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:22, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 119) * Just a general suggestion: Try reading the article aloud to see how it flows. Parts of it don't read that well, and a few small tweaks would fix those.
 * 120) * The section title "Miscellaneous villainy" needs reworded. Dare I say it doesn't sound encyclopediac?
 * 121) **Unencyclopediac...but -so- true. OK, reworded. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 122) * These two don't flow well together: "Droids planted charges on the planet and prepared for detonation. The Separatist-allied inhabitents of Viidaav would have also been killed."
 * 123) **Reworded whole section Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) * "Miscellaneous villainy" has a large number of short paragraphs and the content is disjointed. Let the prose flow within you.
 * 125) **It's hard. Mostly random CWA stuff. Gave it a shot Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) * Short paragraphs in meeting on Vjun.
 * 127) **Did some work there. Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) *" She had previously been defeated and humiliated by Anakin Skywalker on Coruscant.[61] However, a Republic fleet arrived before the process was completed." These two have no tie-in, and don't flow well together either.
 * 129) **Added more context Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 130) * Last paragraph on Saleucami needs more context, or give background on the battle more towards the beginning. Either way.
 * 131) **done Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Sidious also ordered Grievous to attack Coruscant and simultaneously to the Separatist assault on Tythe." Clarify this sentence.
 * 133) **did so Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 134) * "General Grievous was unaware that his hapless captive was also the feared mastermind behind the Confederation. Dooku arrived on the Invisible Hand and took charge of the prisoner." These two sentences don't flow well together.
 * 135) **Tried to segue better Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 136) * Link the Invisible Hand.
 * 137) **It was linked in the first mention Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) * Link to the saber forms and even provide some context on them if you feel it would be good.
 * 139) **I'd prefer not to, having just rescued the article from an unhealthy obsession with Makashi. I have some in the lightsaber training section, but it needs to stay out of the ROTS fight or else it will morph into "Ataru beat Makashi" instead of "Anakin beat Dooku". Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 140) ***Fair enough. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:35, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 141) *" In a burst of power, Anakin overpowered Dooku". The power of the sentence is a mite overwhelming.
 * 142) **did some rewording Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 143) * Remove the section header "Revelation". It's unnecessary and interrupts the events on Invisible Hand
 * 144) **OK....I did this, but I'm not sure I'm happy with it. Lose "Kill him now" quote, for one. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 145) * Redlinks. Waaaay too many.
 * 146) **Down to three now Yrfeloran 04:58, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 147) *Keep working on it. Chances are that this'll go through a couple more reviews, but don't give up; this has potential. Have a Super Terrific Friendly-Unfrustrating Day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 148) From the squalid cublicle of Graestan (Part One):
 * 149) * Abbreviating the ref names would be most helpful in an article of such scope.
 * 150) **I abbreviated prime offender Essential Guide to the Force, but most everything else is linked only a few times. Yrfeloran 22:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 151) *More thorough and consistent linking is desired.
 * 152) *POV-ish statements abound. "Legendary" and "vastly overmatched" in particular. I suggest going over the article, seeking out anything that isn't inherently neutral or makes value judgments not specifically established by canon.
 * 153) *It's pretty thoroughly established precedent in featured articles that aside from a few whole-name mentions, last names are to be used except in instances of multiple individuals mentioned in the article having the same last name. Please look through and change accordingly; I've already done a bit of Jinning Qui-Gons.
 * 154) **FWIW, for main characters, IMO, such as Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Luke, Leia, etc. it's permissible to use first names provided it's not overly done. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 155) * "Building from this foundation" doesn't really sit well with me.
 * 156) **I've rephrased this whole section Yrfeloran 22:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 157) * Calling Cerulian a historian and then stating that his interests were in history is a bit redundant.
 * 158) **See above Yrfeloran 22:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 159) * "Historically knowledgeable and politically apt" implies that he had a history of being knowledgeable and was apt for political reasons. Please rephrase; a shame, that was a pretty one.
 * 160) **See above Yrfeloran 22:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 161) * "Dooku and Qui-Gon were forced to surrender to the pirates when Colicoid Eradicator droids threatened the factory's child workers, and were injected with toxins that paralyzed them and rendered them unconscious." – Clarify who has what done. Also, give a little explanation of motivations.
 * 162) **The scene itself is a little confusing - it's unclear who they surrendered too, and it's unclear who injected the, I did some cleanup Yrfeloran 22:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 163) *More later. Thanks for your time. Graestan ( Talk ) 17:53, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 164) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan (Part Two):
 * 165) *"one of the only ones" – Yuck; reword, please.
 * 166) *Vosa was his second Padawan, not a second Padawan, which would be a no-no. Please revise.
 * 167) **Cleaned up, though I daresay you could have fixed it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 168) *"This was in a way the truth" steps a bit too far out of the universe for comfort.
 * 169) **Fixed. See above. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 170) *Explain that the Death Watch are Mandalorians.
 * 171) **Got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 172) *The transition from Galidraan to Baltizaar, then back to Galidraan is a bit rough. Can this be rearranged?
 * 173) *No setup for Maul?
 * 174) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 175) *Was his bust in the Archives before or after he left? Please clarify.
 * 176) **Clarified Yrfeloran 04:37, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 177) *It is stated twice that Dooku retired to Serenno and so forth.
 * 178) *An explanation for Sifo-Dyas's order with the Kaminoans is required. Why, who it was for, etc.
 * 179) **There's...not much I can do with this. Sifo-Dyas's motivations are still entirely unclear. It's a fuzzy, confused area of canon that makes very little plot sense. Yrfeloran 04:37, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 180) *No mention of the Dagobah system's deletion?
 * 181) **Sure, threw it in. Yrfeloran 04:37, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 182) *Establish what the Deep Core is.
 * 183) **Done Yrfeloran 04:37, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 184) *Okay, I demand either an Equipment section or at least a longer mention of the solar sailer in the bio. Also, Geonosian sailing vessels? Are we talking in space, or on Geonosis's as-yet-unseen seas?
 * 185) **Added some stuff Yrfeloran 03:42, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 186) *"ex-Mandalorians" – This can't be worded right. Aren't they Mandalorian by culture, not so much affiliation?
 * 187) **Fixed Yrfeloran 03:42, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 188) *No setup for Nat Secura.
 * 189) *"of the &hellip; of the" in the next paragraph reads awkwardly.
 * 190) *"While gathering support for secession from the Republic" – This has literally no context whatsoever.
 * 191) *It should be explained why Sidious was interested in Sheelal.
 * 192) *What personal grievance against the Huks? This reads something like a teaser; please go into some detail.
 * 193) *No mention of when and why Grievous took up his name.
 * 194) *Honestly, I'd rewrite the Grievous section. It needs to read a bit more like a story.
 * 195) *More later. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:18, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Former featured article. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I am happy to see someone tackle this and I would encourage you, Yrfeloran, to hack away at it. For what it's worth, I recall (several months ago) noticing that numerous chunks of fanon and fan speculation had made their way into this article, so as the revision process continues, I'd recommend proceeding suspiciously, never assuming that a source tag is legit unless yourself added or checked it. (I haven't even really looked at it yet, though, so for all I know somebody already cleansed it.)  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 12:39, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I did a good deal of the sourcing myself, and have spot-checked most of the rest. There was a serious fanon/NPOV purge that I did, and the non-biographical sections are now shorter. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Note to self: Done up to Clone Wars. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Small input from Tinwe, concerning the lightsaber Dooku used as a Jedi: I'd like to point you to the direction of this image. It shows that Dooku used the curve-hilt design already as a Padawan (I'm not 100% sure if this is his own saber or just another training saber&mdash;though at least I have never seen a curve-hilted one). Whatever the case, I think it deserves to be mentioned in the article. --Tinwe 16:09, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * There's a mention in the continuity section of the BtS. As a book cover, the Legacy of the Jedi cover is not really canon. Especially since there's no scene with young Dooku wielding his own saber in the actual book, and the whole montage is kinda, IMHO, poorly done. Yrfeloran 00:49, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I could use some more feedback on this(objections or votes). I'd be happy to address any concerns with the article. Yrfeloran 01:51, 10 April 2008 (UTC)

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) I'm raking hell with the references! *Maniacal laughter*  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:40, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:32, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:05, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Graestan ( Talk ) 22:19, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Instead, Skywalker stated that the immediate goals of the Jedi were to find a new location for their refuge; Celchu’s presence and eventual report would compromise their secrecy, recover the kidnapped Allana, the heir of the Hapes Cluster, who was being held prisoner as political and personal leverage over Hapan Queen Mother Tenel Ka, and to destroy Centerpoint Station with the aid of Joran Seyah to prevent its use by either the Confederation or Galactic Alliance." Confusing. I get what you’re trying to say but the part about Celchu interrupts the whole sentence.
 * 3) **Set off the Celchu part with a pair of dashes instead. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "As Celchu could now justifiably say he was coerced if questioned by his superiors, he agreed to Skywalker’s plan, his long ties with many members of the Jedi Order, as well as Antilles, Solo, the Horns influencing his decision." Explain who the Horns are. I think you're missing an "and" too.
 * 5) **Got it, I think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Following their successful mock pursuit of Reveille, Antilles directed Rakehell Squadron to commence a similar routine, this time on Broadside. However, this time they were opposed by Galactic Alliance starfighters, and not just any unit." Remove one of the “this times”.
 * 7) **Cleared up. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Even glancing shots intended to damage the Rogues were insufficient to stop the famous squadron and Rakehell casualties were mounting. Even as he fought and flew, Antilles noted that while at least two Rogues, including Rogue Leader, a Duros named Lensi, had been killed, the Rakehells had suffered losses of their own." Remove an "even". Also, "as he fought and flew" should be changed to another wording.
 * 9) **Changed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "With Celchu having returned to the Galactic Alliance, Rakehells had only eight pilots remaining in the engagement zone." Should it be “the Rakehells”?
 * 11) **Yes, it should, and now it is. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Just before they left, the Rakehells observed the detonation of Centerpoint Station, which obliterated both the Corellian/Commenori fleets and the Galactic Alliance flotilla, aside from the ‘’Anakin Solo’’, and brought the battle to an abrupt halt. Italicize the Anakin Solo.
 * 13) **Oops. Carryover from a cut and paste. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Cheriss ke Hanadi was a female Adumari whom Wedge Antilles met during the New Republic’s inaugural diplomatic mission to Adumar." When was this mission?
 * 15) **Tidbit added. 13 ABY. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Nice article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:21, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Image objections:
 * 18) * Image:WedgeAntilles.jpg: There's some sort of checkered distortion covering the entire picture.
 * Image:Corran tfp.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:JainaTahiri.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:Zekk(2).jpg: Needs a crop. Also, it contains massive .jpg artifacts.
 * --Imperialles 12:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Unsourced image. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:13, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Image swapped for a IU more recent image of Wedge. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Okay. Something else: the images in the "Members" section aren't easy on my eyes. Could you have a go at shifting them to make it look nicer? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:33, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 4) * The intro needs a lot of context. Even as a mere summary, it would read as techno-jargon to all but the most EU-savvy of readers. People need to be set up, as do places, ships, etc.
 * 5) **More context added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Honestly, a concerted effort to do that with the rest of the article would be nice. I am leaning to the side of "we should assume the reader has basic SW, but not basic EU, knowledge." Let me know. I plan to go over it in a little more detail soon, but would like some of this done first.
 * 7) * Graestan ( Talk ) 02:46, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) **Added a dash more context. Let me know what you think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa:
 * 10) *This likely has to do with my never reading many of these sources, but I didn't quite understand at first the difference between the NJO and the GA, in respect to your saying in the intro that Tycho's responsibilities were still bound to the GA. Maybe you could add something somewhere to say the fighter squadron was independent from the GA.
 * 11) **I think the added context in the intro has helped that problem. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *This sentence is way too overdone/drawn out/run-onish. Please break up/reword: "Rakehell Squadron flew in the Jedi attack on Centerpoint Station and the Imperial-class Star Destroyer Anakin Solo, chasing the shuttle Reveille to the Anakin Solo as cover for a Jedi infiltration team attempting to rescue the Chume'da Allana, drawing off enemy fighters, and providing cover for the infiltration of a Jedi strike team onto Centerpoint Station aboard Broadside."
 * 13) **Cut in half. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Please provide a little context to this to explain what the Broadside is. And, please add  "the" Broadside if appropriate. If so, you'll need to do this in the body as well. You already have one main body instance of calling it "the Broadside," to please find consistency: "of a Jedi strike team onto Centerpoint Station aboard Broadside"
 * 15) **Not appropriate. Allston tends to call it Broadside IIRC. I've hunted down the one instance of "the Broadside." Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *See, this, again, is due to my not reading this I'm sure, but I can't begin to understand how Luke Skywalker is apparently fighting against Rogue Squadron here. It would probably serve you well to briefly explain where the lines of battle of drawn earlier in your intro: "The squadron proved very effective in battle, managing to shoot down two members of the elite Rogue Squadron"
 * 17) **Again, added context in the intro should have explained this. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) *Your previous explanation, I feel, doesn't do enough to clearly state that she wants the Jedi to get involved, as I'm understanding this. Please clarify what this request is to solidify: "Celchu discussed Niathal's request with Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, phrasing his request in such a way that Niathal's involvement could not be traced back to her if he was betrayed"
 * 19) **Clarified and added context, I think. Let me know if it's not clear. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *Additionally, you've got some clausal disagreement here. "...phrasing his request" implies you are referring to Niathal, when this is not the case. Please reword and also avoid using "request" as you are in two subsequent clauses: "phrasing his request in such a way that Niathal's involvement"
 * 21) **I believe I've cleaned that up. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *Please either provide a similar descriptor for Syal or swap the order in which you mention them: "accompanied by his aides, scientist Toval Seyah and Syal Antilles,"
 * 23) **How silly of me. Descriptive adjectives inserted. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *The end of this clause is just worded awkwardly. Please reword: "on the grounds that he refused to place the Jedi subject to Jacen Solo."
 * 25) **That's intentional. That's very close to what Skywalker says in Fury, and so that's how I worded it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *You seem to imply here that Celchu wanted to help, but was bound by his GA duties. This doesn't quite match what you have in the previous sentence saying he was displeased at the very least. Please clarify a bit: "As Celchu could now justifiably say he was coerced if questioned by his superiors"
 * 27) **Clarified. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *Please add a little bit here to better explain, as I'm understanding, this was a ruse to chase him into the hangar: "Skywalker planned to have Antilles raise a squadron of starfighters to chase Celchu's shuttle into the Anakin Solo"
 * 29) **Phrase added.
 * 30) *Please specify and link here what class of Star Destroyer this was. IIRC, it was an Imp-I. And, while you're at it, specify what the Anakin Solo was in the intro and body, if we know: "was initially stationed on the pleasure ship and converted Imperial-class Star Destroyer Errant Venture"
 * 31) **Not known. I ran a check of all LotF books post Tempest and the class is not given. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) *I believe you're trying to say they were all disguised, but this isn't worded correctly: "and Doctor Seyah, disguised as a Galactic Alliance Guard troopers"
 * 33) **How silly of me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) *This is kind of a random descriptor drop here. Please clarify upon its first mention earlier in the article that Centerpoint is a superweapon: "to Centerpoint Station for their attempt to destroy the superweapon"
 * 35) **Intro context is done. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) *Same with the Broadside deal here. You alternate between calling the Reveille "the" and not using "the" throughout the body. Figure it out for consistency. These are just lazy errors, Ataru. Get tough.
 * 37) *If you're going to call them by their nickname here, you should do so consistently throughout the article. Pick one and stick with it, please. I would recommend sticking with "Rakehells" for formality: "The Rakes went defensive"
 * 38) **That's fine, but I still want to establish in that one mention that they did possess the nickname, for the sake of th quotes. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) *Since you never really establish Wedge Antilles as "Antilles" in this article, please specify who are you a referring to here: "In the midst of battle, Antilles noted that while at least two Rogues,"
 * 40) **I think I clarified this. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) *Please explain who these people are. Identifying them along with their Rake callsigns would suffice: "Twool had been killed and Cheriss ke Hanadi was either dead or extravehicular, and Sanola Ti had also sustained damage"
 * 42) **Got it, but I think it looks silly.. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) *Run-on sentence here. Too many successive and's: "Twool had been killed and Cheriss ke Hanadi was either dead or extravehicular, and Sanola Ti had also sustained damage to her starfighter and Antilles ordered her to withdraw from the engagement zone."
 * 44) **Split. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) *The way this is worded just kind of bugs me. It doesn't read well. Could you reword it to avoid the backslash and choose a better term than "aside"? If you're enumerating losses here, "as well" would do better: "which obliterated both the Corellian/Commenori fleets and the Galactic Alliance flotilla"
 * 46) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *This doesn't sound right. "That era" is too restrictive. Twelve-man squadrons were always common, AFAIK. Certainly, at least, dating back to the GCW: "As were most standard starfighter squadrons of that era,"
 * 48) **I'm not referring to the OOU era of Legacy, but the period of time during which members such as Luke Skywalker and Antilles flew. If you have suggestions on re-wording, let me know.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) *Just a reminder: be sure to put your punctuation before references. Get tough on lazy errors, Ataru.
 * 50) **I told you I wrote this fast. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) *Clausal disagreement. "Their" does not correspond with Wedge. Please rectify: "By slaving their communications equipment to his until any warning Celchu or the younger Antilles provided would be belated, Wedge Antilles"
 * 52) **I think it reads poorly now, but suggestion implemented nevertheless. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) *You just started out the previous section with this exact wording. After reading these both, I would suggest removing this from the "Equipment" section. At any rate, please reword/remove one: "The members of Rakehell Squadron came from many different backgrounds."
 * 54) **Axed the first one. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) *Using "relative" as you do twice here is just kind of silly. Please reword: "her relative's skill in a starfighter, despite her relative"
 * 56) **That was extremely silly of me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) *Please, oh, please, Ataru, avoid the "Her fate is unknown" statements. I've removed these for you.
 * 58) **I've never had a problem with them before, but I'll avoid them in the future. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) *Please don't speculate what may have happened here. Write what you know: "As of the Battle of Centerpoint Station, ke Hanadi was either dead or forced to go extravehicular during a dogfight with Rogue Squadron."
 * 60) **That's what Antilles says, so that is what we know. I'm not sure what you mean. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) *Also, after looking back over the infobox, I understand why you've ordered the pilots as you did, but unless you specify in the infobox their Rake callsigns, please consider listing them in alphabetical order. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:57, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) **Um . . . I suppose I can put them in the infobox, but it'll clutter it up some. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:28, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Ataru says:
 * WARNING! Fury spoilers, and more!
 * Yes, it is a single source nom. Don't let all those refs fool you.
 * I anticipate lots of objections, as this was written kind of fast and loose, but some of the things are intentional.
 * I know there's not much BTS info. I've e-mailed Source A for more, but no telling when I'll get a response.
 * First squadron article up for FA, so be wary of citing other precedents. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I didn't think it was possible to have that many refs for a single-source FA.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:54, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Kriff, this is what happens when I don't copyedit it at all before I post. Anyway, I'll try and address these tomorrow, but-I refuse to write a treatise on the developments of the Confederation-Galactic Alliance War prior to the Battle of Centerpoint Station. Our squadron/organization articles should have context, but not in-depth descriptions of conflicts in which they weren't involved. If there's a differing opinion on that, we should probably talk it out and come to a mutually satisfactory agreement in IRC. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:45, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:18, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:07, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:47, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) IRC look over. Cull Tremayne 10:05, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Can we get a lead quote for the "Life in the Republic" section, if possible?
 * 3) **There is none.
 * 4) ***Fair enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * Please source how her Imperial-class designs were inferior to her father's work.
 * 6) **Already there.
 * 7) ***What I was hoping for was at least one example, perhaps a reference to there being "174,000 design flaws" on the ImpStar, as stated in one of the X-wing books, but if this isn't possible, please advise.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please clarify this statement: "the daughter of Walex Blissex, the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic". Was he the chief starship engineer for the government, or simply a shipwright who lent his talents to the government?
 * 10) **He was "the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic who designed the Victory-class Star Destroyer". That's the full sentence.
 * 11) ***Reading this again, if I get what you're saying, it's fixed now.
 * 12) * "Blissex was the finest student that her father had ever trained, and she grew up to be a skilled engineer of her own" reads slightly awkward (second clause)
 * 13) **"Of her own" is removed.
 * 14) * "During the Clone Wars, engineers began designing vessels bigger, faster, and more heavily-armed." This is OR and reads awkwardly...perhaps an expansion and clarification, with references?
 * 15) **It's not OR, and it's sourced.
 * 16) ***Though the paragraph is sourced, the statement itself is not; it is OR due to no examples being described.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Resolved via IRC; sentence reworked.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:17, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * "Her ultimate dream project was the Imperator-class Star Destroyer, which in the wake of her prior success she was able to green-light, using her father's work as the basis of its design." An expansion on this wouldn't go amiss; why was it her dream? What about the design drove her to see it come to life?
 * 19) **There is no more info; see "comments".
 * 20) ***Fair enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * You seem to use the phraseology "in his/her own right" a bit too often in the first part of the article.
 * 22) **It's used twice; the second is now removed.
 * 23) * Any information on how she met Wessex and chose to marry him?
 * 24) **No. See my statement under "Comments".
 * 25) ***Looking at sources about Denn would have helped, maybe?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * Why was Denn Wessex considered a starship genius?
 * 27) **Not known. See statement under "Comments".
 * 28) ***Ibid.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * In the first paragraph of the "The New Empire" section, you use 'political clout' twice, in the first and last sentences. A substitute is desired for one or the other.
 * 30) **Changed.
 * 31) * Please elaborate on what caused the rift between Lira and her father.
 * 32) **Already there. "Wessex saw the new Empire as an opportunity and gladly accepted the New Order, putting her at odds with her father and his beliefs."
 * 33) ***Further information should be found in sources regarding Blissex; this could, theoretically, improve a key section of her biography (IMHO).
 * 34) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Entire planets had smaller gross domestic products than the cost of a single one of these new warships, and heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." Ponderous and awkward.
 * 36) **Split into two sentences.
 * 37) ***"Heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." This sentence is still unclear; did the debates threaten to destroy the Empire, or did they fear that building the Imperial-class ships would destroy the Empire?
 * 38) ****Shifted things around to make it clear "debate" is the subject of the sentence.
 * 39) *****Did a bit more tinkering. All's well now.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 11:58, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * Please elaborate on the ultimate fate of the Imperial-class in relation to Wessex and what inspired her to create the Executor-class. Also, if possible, expand on her involvement in that project as well.
 * 41) **Everything on her involvement is there. See "Comments". The inspiration for the Executor-class is already there.
 * 42) ***Alrighty then.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) * "Wessex was unconvinced, and threatened Kolaff to capture them alive before the ship self-destructed." Threatened him with what?
 * 44) **He says he'll catch them, she says she hopes so, "for your sake". It's a non-committal threat.
 * 45) ***Rewording the sentence may be desired, then, perhaps to "and ordered Colaff to capture...".-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) * "Kolaff was defeated by the Rebels in an AT-ST duel" Something exciting like this surely deserves a bit more expansion.
 * 48) **If this were Kolaff's article, it would. Not relevant to Wessex, though.
 * 49) ***Meh.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) * "Wessex, whose reputation had taken a blow with her failure on the Subjugator, was interested; however, she kept this information to herself, intended to personally present the droid to the Empire once it had proven itself" needs fine-tuning.
 * 51) **Clarified.
 * 52) * Please elaborate on what an Evolution Droid does and its role in the crisis.
 * 53) **Already there.
 * 54) ***You mention them once in passing, but never again. Did they actually play a role in the unfolding chaos? Did they begin turning random persons into droids?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:08, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * Military ranks should not be capitalized unless referring to s specific person. "She made a transmission to Captain Orsk of the Star Destroyer Dauntless, informing the Captain of the attack".
 * 57) **Changed.
 * 58) * "While her mercenaries kept the Rebels distracted, Wessex fled the hangar out onto a narrow ledge encircling Cloud City, bounded on one side by the city's edge and the other by a drop of miles into the clouds of Bespin." Awkward.
 * 59) **Split into two sentences.
 * 60) ***Second sentence is still awkward.
 * 61) ****Changed.
 * 62) * "She was cold and aloof—even masculine" -- eh? Is there a source for that?
 * 63) **Yes. And it's already there.
 * 64) ***Was wondering about the use of the word "masculine", but if the source describes it thus...-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * In the BtS: Surely the first and second paragraphs can be merged. Also, the third one should be expanded upon.
 * 66) **There's only one paragraph in the BTS. - Lord Hydronium 03:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * My fault. I meant the P&T with that last objection. Can the first and second paragraph be merged, with the third expanded upon? -- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) **Merged and expanded. - Lord Hydronium 00:16, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) *TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) BtS should include who created her, and probably a tad more sources/appearances info. For precedent, please see any of the last sixty odd FAs in the queue. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:53, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) *We don't know who created her. It's an assumption to say it was the person who wrote the original source (and since there are two authors, we don't even know which one it was, at that). As for source info, I don't believe any more can be added without devolving into trivia; it covers her first mention, her only actual appearances, and says the rest are basically repeating the information from the first mention. - Lord Hydronium 22:05, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) **Fair enough. I still think the authors could be mentioned and the BtS rejigged a bit to look like others FAs' (something like "Lira Wessex was first mentioned in the Star Wars Sourcebook, written by Bill Slavicsek and Curtis Smith..."), but it's not a big deal. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:11, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) ***That's a fair addition. Added. - Lord Hydronium 22:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 75) * "Calrissian threatened to reveal that she had been involved in a rogue mission, and Wessex conceded. She was escorted from the core by Calrissian's guards." A hair more detail here would be nice.
 * 76) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Few things to get out of the way:
 * That gray smudginess on the one image of Lira isn't a bad scan, it's the way the art is.
 * We don't know who the intro quote is to.
 * If there's an aspect of her life that's not in there, it's probably not known. Also, if there's a source in the sources list that isn't referenced, there's no unique info there.
 * The BTS really says all there is to say about her that isn't trivial or already said in the sources section. - Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Is she really referred to as "masculine"? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Yep, her character profile in Starfall. - Lord Hydronium 05:22, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

(5 Inq/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 06:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Very interesting character and article. - Lord Hydronium 09:44, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 20:04, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 22:44, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:09, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * I think you are going to want to use this. --Eyrezer 06:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * More likely, you will not. However, it could be worth a mention in the BTS. --Eyrezer 06:51, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Can we get an imagecat for Vanis, please.--Eyrezer 06:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Imagecat sez: Dun. Thefourdotelipsis 08:03, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Small nitpick, but you may want to explain this: "The Dark Lord of the Sith brutally tortured Vanis, effectively making a vegetable of the man when he was through" for those who might not understand what "vegetable" might mean in this instance. -- Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 07:37, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Meh. Good enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 08:15, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) "His actions were considered so damaging to the Galactic Empire that the Imperial Security Bureau dispatched one of their agents, Mar Barezz, to stop him." Please elaborate. Why were his actions considered so damaging to the Empire?  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 01:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *I've added a scerrick of context, let me know if it needs more. Thefourdotelipsis 02:11, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *A few things I've cursorily noticed:
 * 7) *This is from Who's Who in Echo Base from Insider 74, under 2-1B's entry: "Did you know? Too-Onebee was rescued from the Empire by and served briefly with Lieutenant Tiree, who later flew as Gold Leader's wingman and was killed at the Battle of Yavin." Apparently, they're mixing up Vanis and the actual Tiree. I think it would be good to mention this little oversight in the BTS.
 * 8) **I knew his contradiction-free story was too good to be true. I've added a note in the BTS. Thanks. :)
 * 9) *Source list should be ordered by OOU publication date - i.e., what I've noticed is that the Hoth Limited card should be before NEC somewhere and the Databank entry should be last. Not sure what else may be incorrect there. Toprawa and Ralltiir 14:52, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **I was doing that for most of the stuff, for some reason I put all the "logo" stuff down the bottom, making it look tidier, I guess. However, I see that it's policy to list them in order, so I've done so. Uh, now, at least. Thefourdotelipsis 10:05, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 12) *"had been brutalized by some sort of weapon in the power of Moff Bandor." This doesn't make the most sense to me. A minor tweak to clarify would be nice.
 * 13) **I've cut out the "some sort of Viper weapon" thing to make for easier reading. I think.
 * 14) *" He was later rescued by a team of Rebels, but would once again leave in 3 ABY." Leave what?
 * 15) **Well, I said "Absent without leave" earlier in the sentence, but I suppose "missing" makes more sense. So that's what I've put there.
 * 16) *I believe we tend to link captions on 1st mention. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:52, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Sorry, I don't follow...captions?
 * 18) *Context on Home please. I didn't know if you'd mispelled Home One at first or not.
 * 19) **Fixed
 * 20) *" During the debriefing, Reekeene suspected that one of the recruits may have been a planted Imperial agent, and that her operation may be compromised, but Lieutenant Am Serro pointed out that the Imperials likely had more important information to divulge than the location of a recruitment rendezvous, if they truly could" I'm not familiar with the source material-I admit that, but that whole paratgraph and particularly this sentence makes little sense. At the risk of sounding slightly hypocritical given objections on Rakehell Squadron, more context please.
 * 21) **Tidied.
 * 22) *Ditto with the next paragraph.
 * 23) **I'm not seeing the problem there. Could you be a tad more specific?
 * 24) *Explain Game Chambers just a hair please.
 * 25) **Explained.
 * 26) *" Left unconscious and starving in the generator chamber, he was eventually rescued by a band of Rebels, who were able to deactivate it and defeat Bandor" Context on rescue please.
 * 27) **Difficult, it's a game and can be done in a variety of ways. The vagueness is needed to remain...well...neutral.
 * 28) *Context needed on Gamandar.
 * 29) **What about Gamandar? I'm not sure what you mean.
 * 30) *"totally subjugated, with the inhabitants imprisoned, the nature cut away" I think I get what you're trying to say, but the "nature cut away" doesn't read clearly.
 * 31) **I think "native foliage" works. If it doesn't, I suppose I'll have to try something else...obviously.
 * 32) *1st paragraph of Bothan connection is rather disjointed. Clarify please.
 * 33) **I've added some context, but if you think the Tower sentence should go, it can. Thefourdotelipsis 08:18, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:52, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(3 Inq/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 23:15, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:55, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:42, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:23, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * Infobox image not exactly up to snuff on quality. Please substitute another or get a re-scan.
 * 3) **I've asked JMAS for a rescan. Only other real option is this, which looks a bit odd.
 * 4) ***I've done what I could to get an improved scan, and placed it in the article. The blasted image just seems to scan with some artifacts, and I don't think it's my scanner, I think it's the image. I did what I could for now with Photoshop to edit out the worst of the JPEG artifacts. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 23:15, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Still ten times better than what was there. Graestan ( Talk ) 23:55, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Set up who Grievous is a little in the intro.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * "Alongside Mirialan Jedi Padawan Barriss Offee, Pablo-Jill fought against thousands of battle droids in the arena; however, they were both soon separated from the rest of the Jedi, and had been left behind by the LAAT/i gunships led by Grand Master Yoda." – Iron out tense awkwardness.
 * 9) **Altered.
 * 10) * Give some context for the Battle of Coruscant.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Not so keen on referring to Fisto as "Jedi Councilor," as IU I haven't really seen the term.
 * 13) **Changed.
 * 14) * Explain Grievous's firing on innocents. Is there more info?
 * 15) **Not really. I've clarified a little, but there's nothing else to add.
 * 16) * Were the other senior Jedi really worried for their own safety?
 * 17) **Altered slightly.
 * 18) * Graestan ( Talk ) 23:30, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:03, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ***No problem. Lovely article. Graestan ( Talk ) 23:50, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) Toprawa:
 * 22) * Pablo is my next review. For now, I've noticed reference number 10 is incorrectly formatted. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:13, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Done. It was a simple fix. It was marked LOE instead of LoE. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 01:34, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Thanks, JMAS. :)
 * 25) * Please link the CIS droid army page here: "battled the vast droid armies of the Confederacy of Independent Systems"
 * 26) **Nevermind that one. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:21, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Can we name these Jedi? I believe Shaak Ti was foremost among them: "and more skilled than the ones he had encountered when taking Palpatine"
 * 28) **While Shaak Ti was around, I think Grievous's thoughts were referring to the ones he killed (which I have listed), since Shaak Ti's supposed to be one of the best swordsbeings.
 * 29) * Two things here. Please elaborate a little bit more that it was a collection of lightsabers taken from the Jedi he had slain. Also, I would like to see mention of Grievous taking his saber in his biography section as well: "The cyborg added Pablo's lightsaber to his collection."
 * 30) **Added a mention plus description in the biography.
 * 31) * Can we get a 1stID tag on one of the appearances?
 * 32) **I doubt any of the current sources/appearances were the first to name him, though I'm not really sure what would have and how I might find it.
 * 33) ***Wouldn't AOTC be the 1st appearance? He wasn't named in it, but he clearly was, as one of the images from the article is a screenshot from the film. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 12:41, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) **** is for first identified; AOTC is already listed as the . -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:27, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) *****I think I see what you're saying. It seems as thought he was named during production of Ep. II. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:42, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) ******This one had me curious. And I'm thinking the Databank update (Inside the Jedi Temple) made on June 21, 2002 was his first official ID as Pablo-Jill. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 17:59, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) *******Looks like it. Added to article. Thanks for that, JMAS, and for the image and the other objections you resolved. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:37, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) ********Happy to help. :) -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 18:40, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) *Excellent job of description and contextualizing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:17, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) **Thank you. And thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:12, 11 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 42) *"He was among the two hundred or so Jedi stationed in the Jedi Temple in 22 BBY when the Order received word that Obi-Wan Kenobi had been captured by the Confederacy of Independent Systems on Geonosis in the Outer Rim Territories after tracking the bounty hunter Jango Fett to the barren planet." I'm not sure "200 or so" is needed, given that you use it two other times.
 * 43) **Good spot. Fixed.
 * 44) *"They had been the closest to hitting the shuttle, but Grievous had managed to evade them by firing on local debris to shake off his trailers. Tiin, Kolar, and Pablo-Jill were firing on the shuttle incessantly, but Grievous's superior flying ability and the ship's strong shields meant they made little impact." The first sentence is a little confusing, and together these two read a little odd. A slight wording change might be good. Ask me for further clarification if you need it.
 * 45) **Clarified some.
 * 46) *Link Invisible Hand the first time it’s mentioned in the article.
 * 47) **Done, though it's not exactly something you couldn't do yourself.
 * 48) *Link Coleman Kcaj in the BTS.
 * 49) **Same as above.
 * 50) *Minor stuff, easy fixes.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:04, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) **Thanks for the review. 21:48, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Written some months ago for GA. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

(6 Inqs/1 User/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:58, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Well-written.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:19, 10 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:40, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:42, 14 April 2008 (EDT)
 * 6) Gonkified.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 21:11, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) -- Redundant Guy 02:40, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Please elaborate on this a little to bit to explain why he was sent there: "Monn was one of a team of Jedi sent to Geonosis"
 * 3) **Added a bit, though I'm not sure it's entirely necessary in the intro.
 * 4) * Is "cubling" the canonical term used? Not "cub?": " who found that the young cubling had"
 * 5) **Databank entry says "cubling."
 * 6) * This is all very redundant. Please reword where appropriate: "had great potential in the ways of the Force. Monn was taken to be trained in the ways of the Jedi and the Light side of the Force"
 * 7) **Altered a bit.
 * 8) * In this picture caption, can you reword or add to this to specify what battle he is fighting in: "Monn during the Clone Wars."
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * I really don't care whether or not you put periods at the end of your picture captions or not, though they should be done in accordance with wiki's style, as we discussed earlier. But, whatever you do choose, please pick one way and stick with it.
 * 11) **Will do; addressed.
 * 12) * Saying here that they were dispatched to fight the CIS in a Clone Wars battle seems kind of redundant. Unless you can say that they fought, maybe, a specific/notable element of the CIS, I would recommend removing that part: "Later in the war, during the Outer Rim Sieges, Monn and his fellow Jedi Agen Kolar and Aayla Secura were dispatched to an ice-covered planet to fight the CIS"
 * 13) **I changed the wording slightly, but removing it outright makes it looks really odd, IMHO.
 * 14) * You say in his P&T that he raised himself, but in the bio you merely say he was orphaned. Being orphaned doesn't necessarily equate to having to raise yourself, I feel. Please specify in his bio that he did this.
 * 15) **Altered.
 * 16) * I think it would be pertinent to add a little bit to the BTS to explain that his name is obviously derived from the very creature from which he was created - "Wolf Man." Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:25, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Addressed. Thanks again for the review. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:25, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***My pleasure. You're an FA Machine to be reckoned with. :P Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:40, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(1 Inq/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 13:30, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The biography begins a little suddenly, without even one introductory sentence. I can imagine it confusing people who might not have read the intro. Please remedy. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:13, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *That is pretty glaring. Good idea, I've added an introductory sentence that I think starts the article a bit better. Sing out if it's still a problem, though. Thefourdotelipsis 03:35, 14 April 2008 (EDT)
 * 3) **Looks fine. I'll read the rest of the article later; looks interesting. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:18, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Two minor things:
 * 5) * I presume we do, but I'm just making sure: we know he's male, right? Apparently we don't, but because of his voice it's a safe assumption (and impractical to have a genderless character article, too). A BtS note wouldn't be out of place, though.
 * 6) **He's played by a man, he sounds like a man's man's man...I'm loathe to put a Bts note like that on it. It just seems a bit like overkill.
 * 7) *No mention in the bio of the Liberty 's destruction at Endor? Even if Yamarus wasn't necessary aboard at the time, it should be worth a mention.
 * 8) **Still haven't gotten around to reading this properly, but I will eventually. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:33, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***I've added a bit at the end of the bio. I didn't do it initially since I thought it might raise questions about his death, but I suppose I've addressed that in the BtS. I think. Thefourdotelipsis 08:02, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

I presume there's no picture because no picture exists. Is there a picture of some object associated with him which could be used as a placeholder in the template anyway? &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 14:13, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No, nothing at all, to my knowledge. We've got a couple of FAs without images in the template, so it's no biggie. Thefourdotelipsis 14:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I guess I'm thinking more about the image we'd put on the front page when it gets featured. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 14:17, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * We wouldn't have one. It does look a bit boring, but it's happened before, and it's only for a day. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:21, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Ugh. I feel all...nekkid. Thefourdotelipsis 13:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:57, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Very good. I like articles about Kaleesh generals.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:11, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Interesting fellow. Why is it that all the aliens in the Empire are bastards? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:13, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *Per rule 8, please remedy the red link in the intro. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:00, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Heh, I realized that in class today. Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 07:57, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Ackbar:
 * 5) * The first sentence could do with a tad more context. It assumes that the reader knows who Sheelal is, and could use more explanation about the war with the Yam'rii. Additionally, it could better explain that the two conflicts (the Yam'rii one and Sk'rr's one with the Empire) did not take place concurrently.
 * 6) **I've added a bit of context there, to clarify timelines and personalities. As for Sheelal, I'm a bit of an advocate of inviting readers to click links, but there's also the element of "Kaleesh warlord in the same vein as." If you think it needs further clarification, I'm happy to amend.
 * 7) ***Looks fine.
 * 8) * Sorry to be so ridiculously nitpicky, but "edge of known space" doesn't mean "edge of the galaxy" in my estimation.
 * 9) **That's fair enough. Fixed.
 * 10) * No mention at all of his "behemoth" physical size?
 * 11) **I thought I'd let "Approx. 3 meters", "intimidated by the towering figure of Sk'ar" and the picture do the talking.
 * 12) ***Fair enough, though I think a mention in the P&T would be good; it seems to be an important enough part of his character. It should also probably be mentioned that he was way above average size for his species; NEGAS lists a Kaleesh's average height as 1.8 meters.
 * 13) ****Interesting. I've added a bit in the P/T. Thefourdotelipsis 09:56, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Looks good. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:13, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * (Not an objection): This is probably because I am tired, but the "Shiva IV" and "Death" sections leave me needing to reread things to fully comprehend what's actually happening. I can't really be specific, though; sorry. I guess I'll wait to see what others say. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:52, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **I understand your plight: the story itself is so hackneyed that I struggled to get my head around it myself. A lot of things in the story genuinely make no sense, and I've alluded to this in the P/T. Thefourdotelipsis 07:57, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***I reread it this morning with some sleep in me and it looks okay. Interesting, if slightly strange, character and article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:17, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Better images are incoming. Thefourdotelipsis 13:09, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 User/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:40, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:21, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The very first sentence of the article body is OOU and present tense. :-)  Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:06, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I've cleared up the objections here that led to it's FA status being removed at the last Inq meeting. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:40, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 User/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Five kadams high. Thefourdotelipsis 13:17, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Why did it have to be lizards? - Lord Hydronium 09:44, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The second paragraph in the bio jumps from Vader's dislike for Lizardman to his mission to Kar'a'katok quite suddenly; can some sort of "some time after his appointment" or something be added in between to remedy this? Other than that, an interesting read. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:08, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 4) * Please remember to add "was a male Gektl [in this case]" to the intro. This should be done for all character articles; if I'm mistaken, please advise.
 * 5) **I can't find the rule, if it exists. And there are many precedents of that not being in an article.
 * 6) ***Added it myself.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * "Imbued with vaulting ambition, Rahz effectively sold the freedom of his species for his own gain when offered Emperor Palpatine a way to bypass Hoszh Iszhir's shield in exchange for a commission in the Imperial Military." Ponderous and awkward, please rephrase and/or divide up this sentence.
 * 8) **I think it was the ass end of that article that was unwieldly. It's been exorcised.
 * 9) * If possible, please elaborate on why guerrerite was so valuable.
 * 10) **Not possible, sorry. No information in the source whatsoever, only that it's valuable.
 * 11) * "Rahz, caring naught for his fellow Gektls, traveled to Imperial Center, hoping for an audience with Emperor Palpatine." This is also a bit awkward.
 * 12) **I'd like to get a second opinion on this one. Generally, with these things, I can see where the problem is with my prose, but I'm just not seeing it here.
 * 13) ***After finding said second opinions, I've removed the third comma. Thefourdotelipsis 08:31, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Rahz was assigned to Lord Darth Vader" Any particular reason why you use the simple title of "Lord" instead of "Dark Lord of the Sith"? I fixed the intro one but seeing this in the bio made me wonder.
 * 15) **Well...that's how he's addressed. In many, many sources. It's his title, as much as "Dark Lord of the Sith."
 * 16) ***Resolved via IRC.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:27, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Frankly I'm flabbergasted that you couldn't work in Luke's famous "Go ahead and cry!" quote. ;-)
 * 18) **Go ahead and cry! :P Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) ***Go ahead and chop up some onions! :-P ;-) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *TIMMMMMBERRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:03, 15 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'd be much obliged if someone could replace the images with the colourized versions from Dark Horse. Thefourdotelipsis 13:17, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * "Colourized" -- interesting blend of American and real English, there, 4dot. Will you be doing more Aliens in the Empire articles? (I've got dibs on Gog :P ) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:08, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Nah, that's it for them, unless Part 3 gives us something interesting. Thefourdotelipsis 07:58, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 User/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Getting the "koovy" joke out of the way now. - Lord Hydronium 08:43, 16 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments