Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Flanker


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Flanker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 257 words. Hope he stays over 250 words during the nom. Should be clean of all my earlier errors

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC) Insert non-formatted text here

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro should be proportional to to bio.
 * 3) **It is not. Should it be longer or shorter.
 * 4) ***It is fine now. Before, it was only one, long sentence.
 * 5) * Fact tag in the infobox.
 * 6) **Sourced.
 * 7) * "Flanker along with hatchmate Shiv did some desert training around 22 BBY and Shiv enjoyed it writing letters at Flanker, even after Flanker’s death in the Battle of Christophsis." Awkwardly phrased. Please watch your grammar. Also, context on "desert training".
 * 8) **Reworded, but we have no context on the training.
 * 9) ***Still remains.
 * 10) ****See above.
 * 11) * "Flanker, along with his hatchmate Shiv, did desert training and Flanker joked that one of them would get shipped to a water planet after this." After what? Also, please add context to "desert training".
 * 12) **See above.
 * 13) ***I still don't quite understand what desert training is. Are you sure you cannot add any context to clarify this?
 * 14) ****No we have no info.
 * 15) * "Shiv enjoyed writing letters to Flanker, although Flanker wasn’t much for it." "Wasn't much for it"? Please clarify.
 * 16) **Better?
 * 17) * "Flanker was killed during the battle, which resulted in a Republic victory," This makes it sound like that the Republic won, because of Flanker's death.
 * 18) **Changed.
 * 19) * Please clarify this: "but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker - because that relaxed him – until he was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, which was – ironically – an ice planet." Does Shiv know Flanker is dead? Also, please watch your grammar. Why are you using ndashes or "-"?
 * 20) **I corrected this.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:56, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper he died on Christophsis." How is this relevant to the P&T?
 * 22) **Changed.
 * 23) * "Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training." "He wasn't much for Shiv's letter?" Reword.
 * 24) **Adressed.
 * 25) * I don't understand why you mentioned the illustrators names in the bts.
 * 26) **Removed.
 * 27) * JangFett  (Talk) 20:38, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) War is hell, and Skippy is objecting
 * 30) * although Flanker wasn’t much for it. You are using exactly the same expression Shiv used in a quote of the article. Can you replace it with a synoym?
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Suggestion: A new paragraph just after that sentence.
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "ironically": NPOV?
 * 35) **Removed.
 * 36) * Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. Why "but"? Is there any relation between not being much for letters and having a sense of humor?
 * 37) **Adressed.
 * 38) * Maybe you should mention that Shiv talked about Flanker with commander Mag?
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Link Mag somewhere, even if it is in a quote.
 * 41) **Linked.
 * 42) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * One more: Do you think this article can use a youmay tag to differentiate it from the planet Flankers? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:02, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Added. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) Issues with grammar. This problem is getting old. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Still seeing some errors. Also, I urge you to fix these problems yourself Lee, rather than having other users fix them for you. Otherwise, you're not really the one promoting the article to GA status&mdash;the other users are. That's the whole point of making objections; so that the nominator can fix things himself and learn from the process, thereby avoiding making the same mistakes in the future and having the nominator's quality of writing go up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:50, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***I believe, that I corrected three or four. Are there still any in it and if how many ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:06, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****First off, you only made two changes; second, you actually made both worse&mdash;both of the places you made changes were grammatically fine before, but now they are incorrect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:30, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *****Corrected them back. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ******Okay, but just to clarify, several issues still remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) *******Any improvement ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:59, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ********Some; and you got the one mentioned above; but others remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:39, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) *********Changed two. Still major errors ? Possible I should reword this sentences: ''When Confederate forces attacked the Outer Rim planet of Christophsis, Flanker was part of the troops that were sent to defend the world. Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker, since it relaxed him.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:45, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **********Second change was unneeded; the sentences you list above are fine as is. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:00, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **********Just to make sure you're aware, this objection is still standing. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:34, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) ***********Hope the changes for the latter objections eliminated them.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:47, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ************This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:59, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis." This has nothing to do with Flanker's personality; please remove.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) **Removed, but I think that nom should be removed (or is he still over 250 words?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ***The article is currently at 249 words. I suggest fixing the grammar issues, and seeing where the word count is then. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:30, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Better or worse ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *****Worse, unfortunately. Again, the grammar you have changed was fine before, but is incorrect now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:00, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ******I wonder what could still be incorrect. I changed most of the article form good to worse and back.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *******Firstly, you changed two things; not "most of the article." Second, in both places where you changed things, the wording was previously fine. One particularly glaring example of a problem is: "Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv continued writing letters at Flanker, since it relaxed him." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:17, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ********Bah, I juts looked at tense not at other things. But the error from above is nowhere in the article. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) *********Yes it is. Bio, second paragraph, second sentence. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:14, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **********Fixed. Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:36, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * Please write the final sentence of the BTS more from Flanker's perspective, rather than Shiv's. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:00, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) **Changed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ****Facepalm* Sorry, I meant "intro;" dunno why I typed "BTS." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:42, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) *****This remains; you mention Flanker's death almost as an afterthought. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:47, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) ******Fixed and I can't find major errors.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) * As stated below: you can't say whether or not Shiv started writing letters before or after Flanker's death because it is unknown which he did. As such, please adjust your wording in the article so that it doesn't imply either way. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:59, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) **Changed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:10, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) Cylka:
 * 79) * There are still a few problems with grammar. I have found incorrect word and punctuation usage. Please fix this.
 * 80) **Any improvement ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:51, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Flanker didn't care much for Shiv’s letters that he wrote to him, and he had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. - The second part of this sentence needs to identify who had the sense of humor and who was joking.
 * 82) **Fixed.
 * 83) * While Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis. - What does having been killed on Chritophsis have to do with being a trained clone trooper? Cylka  -talk- 19:38, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) **Fixed.
 * 85) *Cylka  -talk- 20:43, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) **Thank you for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) Soresu
 * 88) * Shiv enjoyed it writing. Not sure what "it" is for.
 * 89) **Changed.
 * 90) * one of the many clones from the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett. Should be "of", not "from".
 * 91) **Stupid error. Fixed.
 * 92) * Do we actually know that Shiv started writing letters before Flanker's death, and continued to after his death? Is it possible that he started writing them only after he died? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:12, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **We only know it from Shivs quote in the bio. Thank you for your review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) ***If I may intervene here; Soresu's right. If all we know is from Shiv's quote in the bio, then we can't say for sure that he wrote letters to Flanker before Flanker's death. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ****Changed, but I believe he is now under 250 words.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:40, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) *****You can keep the fact that Flanker didn't like letters in the P/T. Right now it's at 232 words. You can either just request to remove the nom now or wait until you fix the other objections, in case the word count comes back up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:47, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) Cylka, pt.2:
 * 98) * I still see two issues with grammar and punctuation. Please fix them. I know that this would fall under, but I would like you to improve your writing a bit more.
 * 99) **Rewrote something.
 * 100) *Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv began writing letters to Flanker - Did Shiv start writing the letters to him after he had been killed? In the P/T you wrote Flanker didn't care much about Shiv's letters. Please clear this up.
 * 101) **Please take a look at Jon's statement above.
 * 102) ***My above statement is: "If all we know is from Shiv's quote in the bio, then we can't say for sure that he wrote letters to Flanker before Flanker's death." That also means that we don't know that he started them after his death, either. The point is, you can't explicitly say either way, without it being speculation/OR. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 12:48, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) ****Flanker didn't care much about Shiv's letters, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. - If this statement is correct, then Shiv wrote the letters before Flanker was killed. Please clear this up.
 * 104) *****Jon stated that I could leave the part about the letters in the P&T.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ******Lee, that objection has nothing to do with whether or not that stays in the P/T. That is about whether or not Shiv wrote letters to Flanker before he died. We don't know this; all that is stated is that Flanker didn't much like letters. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:06, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 106) *******Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:10, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) * However, Flanker's hatchmate was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, shortly after Shiv had talked with his commander Mag about Flanker. - Do you mean that Shiv was killed? If so, please change the wording a bit since that isn't clear from this sentence.
 * 108) **Reworded and added some details.
 * 109) *I'll take another look once you take care of these objections. Cylka  -talk- 23:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) **Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:03, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) Less than 250 words at the moment (~246 words according to Word). --  1358  (Talk) 08:57, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Xd: check out the above objections (specifically under Soresu). We've already made note of this, but I'm giving him a chance to fix his grammar, in case it brings the word count up again (it's already come up a bit from the 232 that it was). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:36, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) **Ah, sorry, striking this objection for now. Thanks for the heads up. -- 1358  (Talk) 13:38, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lee, this, like all of your noms, has plenty of grammatical errors. Frankly, it's getting old. I'm not trying to rude, but this is not English class. Please, please, try to avoid making these errors.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll take a good look at both Flanker and 2242 today in order to fix the grammar problems.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:37, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll hope the two grammar errors are finally fixed. (If not it would possible be the best to point them out. I know I can't learn them if another user fixed it, but if I see it I can fix it easier. And I learn nothing if I don't know them.)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:10, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Currently the nom is at 246 words, Lee. It's under the 250 word requirement.  JangFett  (Talk) 15:46, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Jang, please see Xd's objection above. :P Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:48, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for pointing that out, Jonny. :P I had to check the word count, because on my screen the article seemed under 250 words.  JangFett  (Talk) 15:56, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Removed per nominator's request. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:59, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

 * 1) With unaddressed objections remaining from April 4, the nomination is now considered inactive under the new two-week policy. Nominator has not edited the article since around that time as well.  CC7567  (talk) 05:32, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 15:14, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I waited for Cylka to take a look at her objections so I thought I should wait with further edits until I recieve a response.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:45, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) **Actually, it's not my objections that are outstanding, but Jonjedigrandmaster's under number 3. Please take a look at that. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 15:09, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Yes, but your objection about grammar contradcts with Jon's obejetion. Before I do not know that the other objections from you are fixed, I won't work on the article. Is it just about the two grammar erros you objected ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:40, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ****I'm not sure how my objections contradicted Jon's since they were both regarding grammar, but I have stricken the ones that were taken care of. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:22, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *****Well, I ask Jon if he still sees grammer errors.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:54, April 20, 2010 (UTC)