User:SparqMan/temp/Writing guidelines

Adapted from Sean McQuaid's writing guidelines for Marvel.com's Marvel Universe.

Use Passive Statements Sparingly
Not So Good: "Obi-Wan Kenobi was killed by Darth Vader."

Good: "Darth Vader killed Obi-Wan Kenobi."

No rules are absolute, and sometimes there's a good stylistic or content-driven reason to slip into passive voice--but it's not ideal form, especially in handbook-style material. Most of the time, passive statements needlessly bloat a sentence and suck energy out of the text.

Always Focus on Action, Seldom on Ability
Bad: "Luke Skywalker was able to repair R2-D2."

Good: "Luke Skywalker repaired R2-D2."

Bad: "Corran Horn managed to trick Kirtan Loor."

Good: "Corran Horn tricked Kirtan Loor."

Whenever possible, let the actions speak for themselves, stripped of embellishment. There are certainly cases where content calls for a little embellishment, because of something emotional or dramatic or unusual about the act in question, but bland, generic "able to" and "managed to" phrasings like the ones above almost never add anything worthwhile, and these pop up in the profiles way too often.

Don't Repeat Yourself
This comes up most often in overlap between sections. If you've already addressed in Biography the fact that Ackbar learned details about Imperial doctrine as Tarkin's slave, you don't need to mention it again in the Personality section.

Bad Text: "Thanks to the Imperial doctrine that he learned as Tarkin's slave, Ackbar was able to organize successful campaigns against the Imperial Navy."

Good Text: "Ackbar organized successful campaigns against the Imperial Navy."

Participles Are Your Pals (sometimes)
These profiles all force us to compress many, many events into one dense narrative. Present participle ("painting") and past participle ("painted") versions of your verbs can help compress things a bit.

Okay: "Dolph donned the Hendanyn death mask and fought the Je'har regime as Kueller."

Better: "Donning a Hendanyn death mask, Dolph fought the Je'har regime as Kueller."

In that particular case, the space savings are only very slight, but they add up over the course of a profile, and using fewer sentences helps keep the layout tighter.

Another example:

Not So Good: Organa was annoyed by Calrissian's advances, and she ignored his flirtations."

Better: "Annoyed by Calrissian's advances, Organa ignored his flirtations."

Use Introductory Descriptions Sparingly
If a character is well known, don't go overboard introing him or her. Referring to "the insane unstable cloned Jedi Master Joruus C'baoth", for instance, is a bit long. If Joruus C'baoth needs an intro at all when he's being mentioned in passing in someone else's entry, say "the mad Dark Jedi Joruus C'baoth" or something like that, at the very most. And avoid peppy but unhelpful descriptive phrases like "the quick-thinking Wedge Antilles", "the lovable Chewbacca" and so on - most people already know these characters, and those sorts of phrases do nothing to inform the few who don't know these characters in any meaningful way.

That being said, intro phrases are more acceptable - encouraged, even - for more obscure characters: "the flying Dornean astrographer Been L'toth," for instance.

Never Send a Phrase to do a Noun's Job
Generally speaking, you're better off if you go with "crimes" instead of "illegal activities", "mistakes" instead of "errors in judgment", "battles" instead of "violent clashes" and so on. Unless there's something vitally, specifically descriptive in the phrase in question, a noun will usually serve you better.

Possessives are your Pals
Not So Good: "Skywalker spoke with Bib Fortuna, the major domo to Jabba the Hutt."

Better: "Skywalker spoke with Bib Fortuna, Jabba the Hutt's major domo."

It's a simple trick, but I see variations on this in the profiles a LOT, instances where a connection can be expressed more concisely through the use of possessive phrasing.

Avoid Unnecessary Analysis
We recount actions; we generally don't comment on the actions. If we detail Anakin Skywalker's relationship with Tusken raiders, including his murder of a Tusken village as revenge for his mother's death, we could do this two ways:

Okay: "Skywalker exacted his revenge by slaying the Tusken raider clan."

More Concise: "Skywalker slayed the Tusken raider clan."

It's a revenge act, sure, but if the Biography has already supplied the context of their relationship, we don't necessarily need to further underline the nature of their relationship while recounting the actions.