Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Jor Drakas


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Jor Drakas
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:04, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: Yep, it's the Clone Wars, not The Clone Wars.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:15, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 20:33, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:29, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:13, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) --Clone Commander Lee 11:17, 4 July 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 20:45, 17 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 09:09, 18 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:36, 22 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 11:08, 21 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 15:52, 22 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 10:55, 21 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 10:41, 1 July 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 06:32, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Floyd:
 * 2) * "He participated in two battles against the Chiss Dark Jedi Sev'rance Tann, fighting her first at the Kaer Orbital Platform, and then, on the Galactic Republic energy world Sarapin." Awkward. Reword.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Contextify Count Dooku more.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "Drakas was then assigned to guard the Galactic Republic energy world of Sarapin, after suspicions were raised about the Separatists' possible attempt at securing Sarapin's natural energy reserves." Reword, since "suspicions were raised" would be more appropriate if the Separatists were suspected of trying to secure Sarapin, not if they definitely did.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Give context on the Decimator. Why is it so special?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * No P&T.
 * 11) * Unsourced info in the BtS.
 * 12) **For the last two objections, see below. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***Both addressed. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 20:42, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Attack of the Clone
 * 3) * The context for the Clone Wars is slightly detracting from the sentence flow, and it's making the sentence unnecessarily long; please consider removing it.
 * 4) **Removed. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * "Sarapin fell in the Confederacy hands": please check this.
 * 2) **Well, there was nothing else on Sarapin except for the main Republic base on Mount Corvast, some smaller Republic bases and drilling platforms. Tann destroyed all Republic forces, captured drilling platforms and established a Confederacy base on Mount Corvast. I'd say it is pretty much "fell". <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***That's fine, but you can't literally or figuratively "fall in" the "Confederacy's hands"; it's fall "into".  CC7567  (talk) 23:03, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ****Oh, I must've misunderstood your objection. Yes, I meant "into". <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Can the P&T be expanded in any way, perhaps re: his strategical sense, if he had one, or simply any of his accomplishments?  CC7567  (talk) 07:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **I'm afraid not. There are none known accomplishments and nothing is known about his strategical sense either. He is a minor character who appears very briefly in two missions. As I said below, nothing else to add. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * Place of death needs to be mentioned in the infobox.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * I think the intro could be expanded, at least with some details on the battles.
 * 5) **Expanded it a bit more.
 * 6) * Additionally, isn't there any more info you could add to the bio regarding those battles? Those paragraphs seem way too short to me. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:19, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Expanded it as much as I could. There's just no more info. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Is there a reason why the P/T quote abbreviates "Mount" Corvast, rather than just spelling it out as the article does? If there is none, please do spell it out. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:15, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **It was spelled that way in the game's subtitles.  QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:05, 17 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:05, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I couldn't find any source for the last sentence in Bts, yet I think it is pretty obvious. I'm open for suggestions. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * But if there isn't any source, it should be removed as nothing actually states that it is a Bib Fortuna screenshot.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:28, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Really nothing to add for the P&T, except for the "pathetic" part and the lightsaber color, but I think both are fine in the biography. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nevertheless, Rule 13. If there is any information, put it in a P&T section.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:28, 17 June 2009 (UTC)