Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Zaerdra


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Zaerdra

 * Nominated by: Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:00, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And to think I said to myself "no more character FAs" only yesterday..

(6 Inqs/2 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) NaruHina ''' Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 00:20, 30 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:47, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Keep that speculation out, though.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:26, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:22, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Thefourdotelipsis 01:46, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6)  Ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing  ( You're all clear kid! )( Now let's blow this thing and go home! [[Image:Revanchist Sith.svg|20px]] 02:02, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Fine dance around out-right speculation of her death.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:52, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 8)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 22:37, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) This is a minor problem but the "100% lightside" tab blocks the other picture. It looks sloppy in my opinion. If thats resolved then I'll vote for it.  NaruHina ''' Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:03, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Preliminaries: After some attempts to clean up the intro myself, I still find it lacking in comprehension. Please revisit, adding context where necessary. Frankly, I can say the same for the bio.  Graestan ( Talk ) 19:06, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *I'm not certain if you mean "comprehension" or "comprehensiveness", but in any case, the article has been revisited with an eye for correcting both.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 19:34, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **COMPREHENSION "2 a: the act or process of comprising b: the faculty or capability of including : comprehensiveness" – From Webster's Dictionary. Graestan ( Talk ) 21:48, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Grass clippings:
 * 6) * "A devoted member and ward of Thek" is a bit redundant, after the previous sentences.
 * 7) **Hmm, thought that'd been fixed earlier. Oh well, it's remedied now.
 * 8) * Lightfight?
 * 9) **It's like saying "firefight" -- it's an in-universe term that could probably use its own article, which I'd be happy to create if requested have now created and linked to.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:40, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Graestan ( Talk ) 22:38, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) I actually have a problem with the death speculation. Like I did with Gwellib Ap-Llewff, I'd like to see you remove the speculation but still mention the bombardment, and let readers put 2 and 2 together. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:44, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Death speculation removed, but per your suggestion, info about the bombardment and its scope was kept.
 * 13) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One
 * 14) * First sentence of Mandalorian invasion - I think that you should set up the fact that Zaerdra was a Hidden Bek and her relationship to Thek before mentioning the Mandalorian invasion.
 * 15) **Reworded.
 * 16) * I think a link to the Padawan massacre needs to be included when setting up the introduction of Zayne Carrick. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 22:57, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Link added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:17, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) One more thing: Something about her unusual appearance and distinctive garb in the P&T would be helpful.  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:30, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *Added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:51, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) **"Oddly colored for a Twi'lek" is OR. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:30, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 22) * "ever got into her stuff again." Reword for formality; particularly important in the intro.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "This forced Thek to apologize for her abrupt behavior on a number of occasions, including when Thek" Clarify.
 * 25) **Reworded.
 * 26) * Two sentences with identical syntax at the end of P&T could use a little variety.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * Is there a reason Sith Empire is pipelinked, but Sith isn't linked at all?
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) *That's all. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:10, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Thank you, but it's time for sleep...zzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz... Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:45, 11 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) Toprawa:
 * 33) *This description doesn't apply well to what you have written here. You write that she met these people with hostility, but that Thek tells her he can still defend himself...these are ideas are not connected by anything. Did she treat them poorly to protect Thek? Clean this up, please: "she greeted the amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith Revan, accompanied by Republic officer Carth Onasi, with open hostility. This outburst forced Thek to apologize to his guests and to remind Zaerdra that he could still take care of himself."
 * 34) **Addressed.
 * 35) *Can we link a battle to this at all? If not, please create a red link: "When the Mandalorians laid siege and eventually invaded the strategically-located planet"
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) *What meeting place? Context needed for the significance of this, please: "were flown to the meeting place, where Sowrs and her own resistance group were."
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) *Firing from the surface? So where are they, on top of a building? Flying through the sky? You should revisit this paragraph as a whole and add greater detail: "a group of Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders firing at them from the surface."
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) *To be quite honest, I'm lost at this point as to what the lines of battle are here. Are the Beks friends with the Constable and her forces? It seems like they are, but then three sentences later they're "confronting" each other. Again, greater background detail needed throughout this paragraph. Please revisit: "After a confrontation between the Beks and members of the Constable's resistance movement"
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) **Additionally, as an addendum to the two previous objections, a lot of this seems very periphery to what Zaerdra is doing. She seems lost among what the group is doing collectively, with only minimal mention of her throughout this paragraph. Please go back and do what you can to better present everything from Zaerdra's role, not the group's.
 * 44) ***Well, she is in a gang.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:16, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) *Per our quote precedent, your section section quote should not be in quote format
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) *Please consider this phase 1 as I go through this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:25, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) **My circuits are a-buzz with anticipation of your next round of objections.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:16, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) I find the KotOR comics section very lacking in context and detail. I think someone unfamiliar with the source would be confused as to what exactly is happening. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:04, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Inquisitorius vote to remove nom
 * 1) Doesn't look to be going anywhere. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:19, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Purging...  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:15, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Per Acky's objection and the lack of attention towards it thus far.  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:22, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Dead. Dead dead deadski. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:45, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) I feel I'm well in my rights by voting to remove this. For the record, the objections were never satisfactorily handled. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:33, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Normally, such a speculation about a character's death would be verboten, but seeing as it was likely a result of the bombardment of Taris, it wouldn't seem too out-of-place. 1,103 words by last count.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:00, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The article itself is fine, but I'm a touch concerned about the illustration. You've got one image from the comics, but in the section about the game events, which is a touch confusing. Furthermore, the comic image doesn't really illustrate anything...it's just Zaedra, Weaver-style. I think that a better image can be culled from the comics and placed in the relevant section, and then perhaps another screenshot from the game could be placed in that relevant section. Thefourdotelipsis 01:46, 13 July 2008 (UTC)
 * What's the status of this thing? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:48, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * To answer that: at the moment everything that can be thought of to satisfy the outstanding objections has been input into the article. Waiting on review by the objecting party.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:06, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Put something on Tope's talk page if you haven't done so. This has been up for months with almost no activity.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:32, 17 September 2008 (UTC)