Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * Inquisitorius FAN Triage
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, nominators are restricted to three nominations on the FAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
 * 4) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 5) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 6) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of seven Inquisitor votes after a minimum of two days with no outstanding objections, the nomination will be considered successful. Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

HK-47

 * Nominated by: JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:42, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Statement: This time, optimal quality is guaranteed.

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Optimal accuracy ratio achieved. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good to me.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:16, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:13, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 04:18, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just because I helped in the beginning, don't think this'll be easy :P
 * 2) * "After the significant loss of life at the Battle of Malachor V, Revan constructed HK-47 as an alternative as he no longer felt destruction of such a scale necessary for his goals." This is confusing and it was already stated in the sentence before that Revan created HK.
 * 3) **Hopefully clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "The droid went on to help Revan find the Star Forge once more." Revan found the Star Forge before? What is the Star Forge?
 * 5) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context on T3, Jedi Exile, GO-TO in the intro.
 * 7) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "were found by GO-TO and used for his purposes." This is too vague.
 * 9) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The Exile finally repaired HK-47, who went on to defeat G0-T0 with help from HK-50 droids he persuaded to join the Exile." Why would he need to defeat GO-TO? What was the Exile trying to do?
 * 11) **Re-worded for better understanding. I don't think we need to go into too much detail over GO-TO's goals in the intro. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:14, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "given a new body." Why would he need a new body, what happened to the old one? You should probably mention that he was in the ship as well.
 * 13) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 14) * "This battle climaxed in a showdown between these spacers" What spacers? Were they the ones decieved by HK?
 * 15) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 16) * "HK-47's programming resulted in his enjoyment of bloodshed, and he took pleasure in any sort of violence, even describing his work as a form of art. He had a relatively condescending opinion towards organics, and made a habit of branding all organic lifeforms meatbags." I don't know if this is really neccisary, it's just a footnote disjointed from the intro.
 * 17) **Removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 18) *That's it for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:31, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Context on Nar Shaddaa. It should also be stated that GO-TO is a droid.
 * 20) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 21) * As it reads now, the first paragraph jumps from his creation to his capture. There should be a mention that he was set on missions by Revan.
 * 22) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 23) * The first two sentences begin the article by saying that he was created at the beginning of the Jedi Civil War, then they say that he was created in the wake of Malachor V (I reworded this part a little but it was there before) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:12, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Rewritten. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:35, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:12, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) Nayayen
 * 27) * There is a fair bit of underlinking throughout. Don't forget that links shouldn't be unique to the intro and infobox just as much as information can't be.
 * 28) **After my copyedit I've also found cases of overlinking. For example, Visas Marr is not linked but Sith apprentice is linked at least twice in the body. Just remember: 1 link in intro, 1 in body, 1 in infobox and 1 in each image caption (if the latter two apply). Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **I've since linked and unlinked most of the ones that I could find, if you still see any, feel free to point them out and I'll take care of them immediately. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 30) * In the intro, where did Revan find HK again?
 * 31) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 32) * "Revan decided that more droids of this design would make efficient agents for his purposes." -What are his purposes?
 * 33) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 34) * Am I not correct in thinking that the Sand People then let Revan hear from their storyteller? HK-47 would translate for both parties as before but would often advise against responses that may offend the storyteller.
 * 35) **Actually Revan meets directly with the chieftain while HK provides translation. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 36) ***That is correct but I am fairly certain that you can meet with the storyteller if you fully follow the quest through. For starters, most of what the storyteller's lines (or rather, HK's translations) have the "Sound Resref" of "nm20aaxsto-"; you can check yourself. If you give the chieftain a krayt dragon pearl then he will deem you worthy enough to meet the storyteller. Please look into it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) ****Yeah, you're correct. I was never generous enough to give them my pearl, so I didn't recall this happening. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 38) * "was honored with Revan's other companions as heroes of the Republic, possibly even being awarded the Cross of Glory" -He either was or wasn't awarded it. There shouldn't be speculation about it.
 * 39) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 40) ***I can't find any reference to him being awarded it in the TSL tlk file. Do you have the StrRef for it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I watched the ending of KOTOR again and Dodonna states that she's "proud to honor each of you with the Cross of Glory," which I think makes it a safe assumption that HK-47 received it as well. If you disagree, I'd be perfectly fine with removing any mention of the award. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 42) * '"The attack failed when the Jedi Exile, Visas Marr, Nihilus's former Sith apprentice; and the current Mandalore, Canderous Ordo, along with a large force of Mandalorians boarded Nihilus's flagship, the Ravager, killed Nihilus, and destroyed the ship."'' -This is very disjointed, please fix it.
 * 43) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 44) * You need to put the P&t quote into.
 * 45) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 46) * How could you not even mention his definition of love in the P&t?
 * 47) **Good question, fixed with pleasure. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 48) * "The droid also found attacking a Jedi's allies, as Jedi would often sacrifice themselves to save an ally." -This sentence doesn't make sense.
 * 49) **Not sure what happened here, but fixed nonetheless. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 50) * Who, if anyone, voiced him in SWG?
 * 51) **After checking IMDB pages for both HK and Tabori, it doesn't appear he has a VA in Galaxies, although I'm unfamiliar with the game, and could be mistaken. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 52) ***Well, knowing that IMDB isn't always reliable, can you check with someone who has it? Someone in WP:SWG should be willing and able. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ****I've just had it confirmed by Fett 1138 that HK-47 doesn't have a voice actor in SWG. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 54) * Does his Force alignment differ between KotOR and TSL?
 * 55) **If it does it doesn't differ noticeably. He starts very dark-sided in both games. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 56) * I don't think this is something that you yourself might be able to fix but can you see about having the "companions of Revan" succession box made the same style as "companions of the Jedi Exile"?
 * 57) **I'll look into it, but I'm admittedly not very good with dealing with that sort of stuff. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 58) **This is overstepping the bounds of the FAN process, to put it politely. You don't want to hear what I really think of this kind of nonsensical objection. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:16, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **FWIW, I did modify the template for consistency's sake, if nothing else. It now matches the KOTOR II template. 22:31, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***My apologies Culator, I meant to have this as a comment and not an objection. Thank you Fraajic for sorting it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * The URL references all need to use.
 * 62) **I'm unfortunately terrible when dealing with refs, so would it be too much to ask for you to fix one as an example? Then I'd know exactly what to do and would fix the rest myself. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 63) ***Certainly, it took me ages to figure them out myself... I've done Ref13. One thing to note is that accessdate needs the format yyyy/mm/dd. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Ok, I fixed the refs, but I did end up listing the Team Gizka one multiple times because I couldn't get the ref name to work. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 65) *****They work the same as normal refs but instead of SOURCE for the first one, you put in the Cite web template. I've fixed them for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Ref No.6 (kotorcg) needs fixing.
 * 67) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 68) * Some of the categories seem a little odd, specifically the "culture" ones. Can you find any more suitable ones?
 * 69) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 70) * I can't believe that there aren't more interwiki links. Please check the list and see if any more languages have HK-47 yet.
 * 71) **LtNOWIS seems to have done this. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) *I may find some more after I do a copyedit this weekend. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *Four more for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) ** "Separatist scientists began studying design elements of HK-47" -who are the Separatists? Someone who doesn't know that the CIS are the Separatists wouldn't be able to see the connection.
 * 75) ***Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 76) ** Further to the linking issues, there seems to be at least 3 things in the Mustafar section that should be linked but aren't.
 * 77) ***Linked a few more, although many of the referenced objects or places don't seem to have articles. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 78) ** "Whether these were intentionally installed by Revan or simply part of his protocol droid package is unclear." -This should be reworded to be from an IU perspective.
 * 79) ***Hopefully fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 80) ** Can the paragraph of the P&t with brackets in be reworded to remove them?
 * 81) ***Brackets removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 82) Naru continues...
 * 83) * "Revan renounced the Jedi Order and left along with his friend Malak to search for Star Maps left behind by an ancient civilization so he could find and use the superweapon known as the Star Forge." Use the Star Forge to do what? What does the Star Forge do?
 * 84) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * "While HK-47 displayed obedience to those he identified as his master, he had little regard for any form of life and admitted that he was driven by a desire for violence and carnage. He characteristically used the term meatbag when speaking of organic life forms, especially Humans." This sounds like it should be in the P&T. The following reason for it could also be moved there as well.
 * 86) **I feel that this segment is important where it is, as it establishes the type of programming Revan gave him and explains the origin of the meatbag term. I reworded it a bit so it hopefully fits a bit better. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * "The droid would continue to serve Revan during the Jedi Civil War, a devastating coonflict between a Sith Empire that Revan created after his turn to the dark side and the Galactic Republic, helping him locate the Star Forge and assassinating beings who could potentially destabilize the galaxy until his master sent him on an assassination mission into Mandalorian space." This is a double "and" and also mildly confusing. Reword.
 * 88) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:06, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * Revan's memories were lost due to the intervention of the Jedi Council, not as a direct result of Malak's bombardment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:45, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:06, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) Objections: 
 * 93) * First of all, please standardize your paragraph length. Some are just uber-long, while the others are tiny.
 * 94) **I believed I've made them a bit more even. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) * Intro: However, HK-47 had been badly damaged and captured on a mission in Mandalorian space shortly before Revan was captured by the Jedi Order. The assassin droid's memory core was damaged, causing him to forget about his master, and he went from owner to owner, many of whom he inadvertently slew personally. Damaged is a bit repetitive. Please change one.
 * 96) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * The droid also accompanied Revan to the edge of the Unknown Regions along with Revan's utility droid, T3-M4, before being left behind in Revan's starship, the Ebon Hawk, as the proclaimed Jedi Knight journeyed on to face a threat he had remembered from his time as the Dark Lord. Quite confusing as to who "the Jedi Knight" refers to, since you don't establish in the into that Revan was a Jedi.
 * 98) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * Revan's assassin: Not long after the resolution of the war, Revan renounced the Jedi Order and left along with his friend Malak to search for Star Maps left behind by an ancient civilization so he could find and use the Star Forge, a superweapon which could produce an endless supply of war material, which Revan hoped to use in conquering the Republic. This one is a run-on.
 * 100) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) * The Jedi Council ordered the Sith Lord's memories be re-written, and Revan lost his original memories, including those of HK-47's existence. Change one of the "memories" to something else.
 * 102) **Changed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) * From master to master: The droid shut himself down once again after this discovery and was sold to a Human senator on the galactic capital of Coruscant. I believe that "this discovery" refers to the disovery of his master's death, but please reword to make it more clear.
 * 104) **Clarifed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) * Back with Revan: It was also the signal for HK-47's internal programming to undo the simulated damage to his primary memory core&hellip; Are you sure "simulated" is the appropriate word here? Because is sounds as if HK simulated the damage intentionally, which, from what I can tell, was not the case.
 * 106) **Missed that one, fixed now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) * Please provide more context for Revan's search for the Star Forge. Why did he want to find it the second time?
 * 108) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 109) *** Now you have two consecutive sentences that state that Revan was looking for the Star Forge. Please fix this.
 * 110) ****Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) ***** Objection stands. Revan was once again trying to find the Star Forge and was looking for the Star Map located on Tatooine. Revan was once again searching for the Star Maps, this time on behalf of the Jedi Council, in order to locate and destroy the superweapon and save the Republic from defeat. These two sentences still state the same info. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) ******One more try! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) * Promise: Will continue with the "The Jedi Exile" later. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:18, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) * The Jedi Exile: When the Jedi Exile who had since gained ownership of the Ebon Hawk reactivated HK-47, using parts retrieved from the imitation HK-50s and a junk dealer on Nar Shaddaa, the droid was enraged to discover these copies of himself, citing their coloration and their lack of using the meatbag reference, instead using "organic," as examples of their inferiority in his eyes. Run-on.
 * 115) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) * &hellip;the droid joined the Exile in her journey to find and unite the surviving Jedi Masters from the former Jedi High Council of the First Jedi Purge. Reads as if it was "The Jedi Council of the First Jedi Purge". Please reword.
 * 117) **Reworded. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) * Context on G0-T0 upon first mention.
 * 119) **GO-TO is given context in the intro, but I added some context there anyway. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Comment: The intro and the main body are two separate entities. A subject needs to be given context in both. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) * Please move the part about Revan erasing HK's memory to its chronological spot.
 * 122) **Moved. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) *** Still not good. This needs to be moved to the point where the erasing was actually performed by Revan, i.e. the ending of the "Back with Revan" section. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 124) ****Fixed? JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) * Darth Nihilus, a member of an organization of Dark Lords of the Sith, was tricked by Kreia into attacking the Jedi Academy there, thinking that he could sap the Jedis' Force energy when in reality the only Force-sensitive in the academy was its founder, Jedi Master Atris, the rest were Force-blind Echani Handmaidens. Again, run-on. Also, the plural form of Jedi is also "Jedi", not "Jedis".
 * 126) **Anons and their grammar...Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) * &hellip;freeing Bao-Dur's remote to activate the Mass Shadow Generator&hellip; Who's Bao-Dur? There is no mention of him prior to this part.
 * 128) **He is also mentioned in the intro but I added more context. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 129) ***See my comment above. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) * Sometime during the thousands of years between then and the Galactic Civil War, HK-47's artificial intelligence was transferred to a computer located in a Hammerhead-class cruiser. Explain that HK-47's chassis was also aboard the cruiser when it crashed, because the mention of the Separatists finding it later doesn't make much sense otherwise.
 * 131) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Retirement" on Mustafar: When the Separatist Confederacy of Independent Systems arrived on Mustafar during the on-going Clone Wars Choose either the "Separatists" or the "Confederacy of Independent Systems." Using both together feels kinda excessive.
 * 133) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 134) * Context on Darth Vader.
 * 135) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) * after Vader and the Imperial forces left Mustafar Again, what "Imperial" forces? There's no mention of any Empire.
 * 137) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) *** Darth Vader's actions brought an end to the Clone Wars and the Separatist movement and secured the security of the new Galactic Empire. Secured the security? :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 139) ****Wow, my bad. Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 140) * HK-47 instructed the spacers to invade the Kubaza Beetle Cavern and enable his AI to be transferred from the ship. How would the spacers invading the cavern help HK-47 transfer his AI? Was there some kind of switch in the cavern or what?
 * 141) **I'm not entirely sure what the process was since I never played Galaxies so I opted for a more general description which hopefully suffices. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 142) * Overall, the chronology of events in this section is quite confusing. What was the point of restoring the power to the facility? Did HK transfer his consciousness there as the facility's article claims? What did the six-digit code do? Please go through the section again and try to fix these.
 * 143) **I removed most of the irrelevant details to clear things up. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 144) * HK-47 informed them that, although he appreciated their help for returning him to his body, he would have to get the factory back up and running to get some payback from those who had taken it from him. Who had taken what? The body or the factory?
 * 145) **Whoever wrote this section in the beginning really didn't do a good job, but I've hopefully addressed all concerns. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 146) * Droid factory leads to a disambiguation page.
 * 147) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) * Also, I count five redlinks in the article. Take care of them (though I don't think we need an article for "gas").
 * 149) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) * Will continue with "Personality and traits" later. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:24, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 151) * For example, if asking a question, he would first say "Query:", before beginning a question such as, "Query: Who would you like killed today, master?." Feels too detailed. I believe the first part of the sentence is sufficient.
 * 152) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 153) * He was fluent in Galactic Basic Standard, Tusken, Binary, Jawa trade language, and boasted that he was fluent in over 6,000 forms of communication. "He was fluent" is repetitive
 * 154) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 155) * Could you state the dates of KotORs and SWG in the biography? It is always better to let the reader know when an event took place.
 * 156) **Good idea. The Mustafar section already had a date, so I just added them in the others. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 157) *Statement: That's all. Good work. Now fix all that's left, and I'll be happy to give my vote :) QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 158) ** All of the remaining objections stand. I've seen no changes made to satisfy them in the page history. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:37, December 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 159) **Sorry, I must have missed the save button or something, please take a look now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 160) Soresu makes a rare appearance on the FAN page
 * 161) * Just a random thing I noticed. You should make mention of his highly positive critical reception in KOTOR. I believe he won some awards for best character or something, too. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:04, December 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 162) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 163) Attack of the Clone
 * 164) * "During this period, HK-50 assassin droids, a newer version of HK that Revan had mass-produced, were found by G0-T0, the leader of the Exchange organization on the notorious Hutt-controlled moon Nar Shaddaa. G0-T0 was in truth a droid, and was forced to act in secrecy to preserve his identity, which led him to hire the HK-50s as bounty hunters, and the droids soon began traveling around the galaxy helping him achieve his goals." Is this much context really relevant to HK-47 himself? Remember, intros are only supposed to provide the reader with the most basic understanding of the subject possible.
 * 165) **Removed all but the relevant parts. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 166) * Could you please clarify the conflicts between the manufacturers in the infobox? The infobox should really only use what is fully verified, so if the actual manufacturer is unknown, then the infobox should reflect that.
 * 167) **I've switched it to unknown, but I would like to point out that Czerka is said to be the rumored manufacturer in the official Databank entry if that makes any difference. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 168) ***That still does not solve it. The infobox still needs to maintain an IU perspective, and "unknown" clarifies as OOU.  CC7567  (talk) 03:07, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 169) * The relevancy of nearly the entire first paragraph of the Biography is questionable. Please clarify why all of it is important and how it is directly relevant to HK-47.
 * 170) **I removed bits which weren't absolutely necessary but I feel the remaining content is important in clarifying why Revan chose to construct HK specifically after the battle at Malachor, and also explains why a Jedi would consider using an assassin. I understand your point about it relating to HK, but I feel the backdrop of his construction is an important part of his biography as well. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 171) ***I'm sorry, but my point of view still stands. I cannot honestly understand why throwaway bits of information, including why Malachor V was chosen as a battlefield, are directly relevant to HK-47. Furthermore, you mention the Mass Shadow Generator but don't even clarify if it was the instigator of the "destruction caused at Malachor" that you later state was the reasons behind Revan's construction of HK-47&mdash;for that reason, since you don't clarify why it's relevant, it isn't relevant. Please make this connection clearer or just shorten or scrap it all together; context isn't context when it's not clarified as context.  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 172) ****I've removed most of the irrelevant information so it hopefully works now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 173) * If you choose to keep it, Revan's "turn to the dark side" is extremely unclear in the first paragraph of the Biography.
 * 174) **Would you like me to go into more detail about their fall? That part isn't very relevent because that delves deep into content which isn't related to HK very much at all, mainly their encounter with the True Sith and the Sith Emperor. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 175) ***No, what you've added is fine. (And yes, you're right that adding any more information would be irrelevant.)  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 176) * "who claimed him as his spoils": please check this; it's not very clear.
 * 177) **Hopefully clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 178) ***Why is it "presumably"? If it wasn't directly clarified, speculation does not belong in this article.  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 179) ****Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 180) * "and began using him to elevate his rank by eliminating rivals": same as above.
 * 181) **Hopefully also clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 182) * "The Senator instead ordered HK-47 to kill the assistant, and the droid remained with his master, helping him eliminate his political enemies. The Senator was on the way to being elected as the Supreme Chancellor, but things did not go as they had been planned." This is unclear. Did the Senator want to eliminate his political rivals in order to be elected Chancellor? If so, this needs to be clarified, because it's irrelevant at the moment.
 * 183) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 184) * "Revan was once again trying to find the Star Forge and was looking for the Star Map located on Tatooine. Revan was once again searching for the Star Maps, this time on behalf of the Jedi Council, in order to locate and destroy the superweapon and save the Republic from defeat." Please smooth out the redundant wordings here.
 * 185) **Hopefully fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 186) * Please source that Fact tag.
 * 187) **How odd, I'm not sure why that was there. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 188) *I think that's enough for now. The two things I would recommend watching at this point are your level of context and your verb tense. For context, all that needs to be included in the article is what is directly relevant to HK-47 or is completely necessary to understand other parts of the article. For verb tense, future tense should only be used where necessary, as the shifts between past and future make the article confusing. I would recommend running through the entire article and try to fix these issues soon, preferably before I continue my review. I'll continue with "The Jedi Exile" once you have fixed these issues.  CC7567  (talk) 02:56, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 189) **Ok, I looked over the article and I think you can continue now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 190) Galaxies
 * 191) * The article Star Wars Galaxies: Trials of Obi-Wan states that the droid can be destroyed. Is this true? Also, are there any other, alternative ways to the Mustafar quest, which should be noted in the BtS? And, should you add the links to the Trials of Obi-Wan? Kreivi Wolter 11:21, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 192) **Yes, as stated in the article, you do destroy HK-47, but he survives in another body and sends you the hologram. There is only one way to complete the Mustafar quest. There are already sufficient links to Trials of Obi-Wan in the Mustafar section of the article and in fact, we decided to remove some as they were overly specific and unnecessary. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 193) Attack II
 * 194) * "He was partially repaired by an unknown party." This should be ringing sirens in your head by now. Please fix or scrap this OOU perspective.
 * 195) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 196) * "although he did seem familiar with G0-T0, a droid crime lord who also joined the Jedi Exile": either he's familiar with him or he isn't, nothing in between.
 * 197) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 198) * "The Exile had left instructions to destroy Malachor V, which G0-T0 tried to prevent": this is very choppy and unclear. What exactly was G0-T0 trying to prevent?
 * 199) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 200) * "Sometime during the thousands of years between then and the Galactic Civil War": when is then?
 * 201) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 202) * "For unknown reasons": OOU perspective.
 * 203) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 204) * "the terminal in the Hammerhead-class cruiser contacted a group of spacers": so the "terminal" can contact people all on its own? Please clarify.
 * 205) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 206) * "Revan may have directly programmed such behavior when designing HK-47, although these tendencies may have simply been part of HK-47's protocol droid package." Speculation does not belong in IU articles. Please reword or nuke it.
 * 207) **Nuked. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 208) * "As HK-47's AI was taken to create the next generation of HK droids, this trait also carried over to the HK-50 models, though these later models would more often add adjectives to their speech conditionals such as "Veiled threat" or "Irritated statement", most likely to contribute toward their disguises as protocol droids." I'm not sure about you, but this appears both irrelevant and speculative to me; please clarify this.
 * 209) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 210) * Fix that Fact tag, please.
 * 211) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 212) * "The origins of HK-47's name come from BioWare writer Drew Karpyshyn, who states on his website that the origin for the name of HK-47 is as follows: "My billiard team is the original source of the name for a popular character in the Knights of the Old Republic game. My team was made up of 4 players with the last name Harrison, and 1 player (me) with the name Karpyshyn. So with 4 H's and 1 K we were going to call ourselves the HK-41's. But we decided HK-47 sounded more intimidating because of the well known AK-47 rifle, so we became the HK-47's. Several years later, when I went to work for BioWare, I tacked the name onto the homicidal Hunter-Killer robot assassin who joined the player on his quest."" If you're going to quote something, please do it properly and place it where it should go; however, I'm sure that you can find a better way of reiterating the origins of his name rather than just simply copying it directly from the guy's website.
 * 213) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 214) * "It is unknown if it was intended that HK-47 would perish with Malachor V, but given his resurgence in the Rebellion era, no ending in which he did can be considered canon-compatible. Same issue with speculation that I've reiterated twice before. Not even cut scenes should have it.
 * 215) **Removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 216) *I will be going through this article once more with you after all of these have been fixed. Please dedicate as much time as possible to therefore ensure that the article is at its best quality and complies with all of Wookieepedia's policies.  CC7567  (talk) 03:07, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 217) Clone Attack III
 * 218) * Please remember that there's another objection remaining somewhere above from one of my earlier reviews.
 * 219) **As to the objection about the manufacturers, I must admit I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly fix the problem. Could you please explain how I should deal with it? JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 220) ***You can simply remove the "Unknown" and end the problem. If the Manufacturer field isn't field, the reader automatically assumes that it isn't known, but this way you let the reader make that assumption instead of doing so yourself.  CC7567  (talk) 02:39, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 221) ****Gotcha, thanks. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 222) * "HK-47 also aided the Exile in her search for the surviving Jedi Masters": can more context be given for what, specifically, the Jedi Masters "survived"?
 * 223) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 224) * Can this "political assassin" role be better worded? If Revan had him assassinate political individuals, then it should be stated as such.
 * 225) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 226) * "Revan did, in fact, use Czerka's HK-24 design as a basis for his model and included several of his own upgrades." As this fact has much more relevance earlier on&mdash;say, at the beginning of the Bio&mdash;can it be placed as such?
 * 227) **Moved. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 228) * Context on the Star Forge in the Bio, please.
 * 229) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 230) * Can a link be placed somewhere for Malak's betrayal? I'm sure that there's an article for the battle that exists here.
 * 231) **A link to the Capture of Darth Revan is already present in the article, but if you would like me to link it elsewhere as well, feel free to ask. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 232) ***No, that's fine; I just didn't see it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:39, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 233) * "As a sign of appreciation, the chieftain gave Revan his personal gaffi stick as a sign of gratitude": please pick either the appreciation or gratitude; the redundancy is rather unnecessary.
 * 234) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 235) * "Revan later encountered Malak for the first time since his former Sith apprentice had betrayed him. This meeting proved to be the stimulus necessary for Revan to remember the truth about his own history." Any links to events that can be implemented here?
 * 236) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 237) * "HK-47 remained with Revan until the end of the former Dark Lord's journey, following him to the Star Forge and aiding in the destruction of the superweapon as well as the defeat of Darth Malak." Same as above.
 * 238) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 239) * "Somehow during the intervening time": can this be reworded at all? It's not very clear.
 * 240) **JethLordMaster, I just realized that this objection has not been stricken, and further inspection of the article indicates that it hasn't been addressed yet. Please do so as soon as possible.  CC7567  (talk) 08:02, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 241) ***I apologize for appearing to have ignored this one, I just didn't see it. Fixed now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 242) * Context on the Jedi Exile in the Bio.
 * 243) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 244) * In keeping with many of the current FAs, can "Characteristics" and "Abilities" be used instead of the P&T and S&A, which are more centered around organic characters themselves?  CC7567  (talk) 23:05, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 245) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 246) * If the First Jedi Purge is a conjecturally titled article, then it cannot be used as a canon name in the article. Please clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 23:57, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 247) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:54, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * File:WeatheredHK-47-K2.jpg is ridiculously low quality. Get someone better to re-do it. --Imperialles 03:08, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) *I've sent a request to Redemption and I'll update once the image is up. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 06:02, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) BTS stuff: I would note that the NEGTD/KOTOR CG includes some of the cut content, with notes on what was changed (namely, 47 gets the allegiance of the HK-50s instead of the HK-51s). The Team Gizka reference is rather out of date at this point, and I don't think it's really relevant to HK himself. Futurama reference seems a bit random; I guess you're trying to imply without saying that they may have gotten the term from it, but it comes off awkwardly, so I'd probably just drop the whole thing. Also you might want to note this; it's from a CD included in the Prima Strategy Guide. - Lord Hydronium 04:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Four Dot
 * 4) *"The droid went on to aid Revan after his return to the Jedi Order in his campaign to find and destroy the Star Forge, an ancient factory that Revan had used during his reign as the Dark Lord of the Sith and that his former Sith apprentice was utilizing in an attempt to conquer the Galactic Republic." - bit of a run-on there.
 * 5) *"HK-47 appeared more than satisfied to be reunited with his master, but later commented that Revan had changed since he had last served him, stating that Revan was more compassionate than before despite the droid's belief that Revan was just as capable." - I suspect that you're alluding to his capacity for... "evil" I suppose, but it should be elaborated on or rephrased.
 * 6) *"HK-47 and the HK-50s intervened on the Exile's behalf and destroyed their former employer." - Wait, so G0-T0 is the HK-50s' former employer? This should be mentioned earlier... if it already is, I apologise.
 * 7) *Tis all. Thefourdotelipsis 11:11, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) *Tis all. Thefourdotelipsis 11:11, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Is there a succession box for "owners of HK-47"? I think there were at least 7 and it would be useful to have. This isn't an objection but could you look into it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Not objection-worthy, but aren't there any other pictures of HK? 'Cause right now there are only images of him standing still, and I would like to see him shooting stuff :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:18, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * I've since gotten some nice images from Redemption up on the page of HK in action. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 06:02, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * You might want to mention in the BTS that he is mentioned in the CSWE. His entry is listed as "HK-47 droid".--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Darth Caedus

 * Nominated by: Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Over a year later, it's finally done. It'll probably take that long to pass, too. Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) On the proviso the FF get added --Eyrezer 06:44, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Timeline
 * 2) * The section "still the student" reads: "He did not leave immediately, however. He spent some time instructing other Jedi, among them Nelani Dinn, whom he trained in lightsaber combat." This seems to suggest that he instructed Nelani before he set out on his journey, although Betrayal claims that this occurred in 33 ABY. It's a bit confusing as it currently reads.
 * 3) **Betrayal's statement that it was "seven years ago" that he trained her is an artifact of Betrayal's original setting in 37 ABY; after it was removed, some time references had to be rewritten and this one wasn't caught. The same rewrite was responsible for the mixup saying Zekk was younger than Jaina; one of their ages got corrected but not the other. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I know that, but the sentence, as it currently reads, still seems to imply that he instructed Nelani before he left, which hasn't been established in canon, and is thus conjecture. The "seven years ago" statement is really a currently unresolved continuity issue, and I think it warrants a note in "Behind the scenes", just as in Nelani Dinn's article. Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Well, it implies that because that's obviously the situation. We know there's a timing error; we know that if we read it as a leftover mistake, it makes sense; we know if we read it as correct it makes no sense (Jacen is randomly heading back to train random Jedi in lightsaber technique, but refuses to see his parents even though he misses them?). It's a mistake, pure and simple. Just like all the stuff that's supposedly twenty years ago in Patterns of Force; we know it's not because it doesn't make sense and the book is riddled with timeline errors. It's a good idea to note it in the BTS, though, and I've done that.
 * 6) *****Awesome. Really well-done paragraph in BTS. Menkooroo 20:36, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Also, what's the basis for claiming that Jacen didn't set out on his journey until 30 ABY? Is it the consistent use of "five-year journey" in post-NJO novels? Even with that in mind, it still seems like conjecture on your part, unless it's been explicitly stated that he waited a year to leave.
 * 8) **It's the five-year journey bit, yes. It would be conjecture for me to say he left right away and all the other sources calling it five years were wrong on the assumption or inference that he had to have left in a matter of days right after TUF. Though that seems to be the vague assumption that the material kind of forwarded by not explicitly saying he hung around a while before leaving, other than the thing with Nelani, it's only a vague inference whereas the more specific references tell explicitly against it. I'm just working with what canon established. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Maybe source the "30 ABY" in that sentence, and make a note of it in the reference? A note establishing that the novel(s) sourced indicate it was a five-year journey. That would clear up confusion, and make it clear to everyone that it's bsaed on in-novel statements and is not conjecture. Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****It's already sourced to The Joiner King, which establishes that it was a five-year journey that ended in 35 ABY. There's not really any more sourcing needed -- if anything that might be questioned as "is that an inference or a guess or right in the text?" had to get sourced and noted, there would be twenty refs saying "No, that's in there," in each paragraph. I get what you're saying, but I don't think it's really necessary or practical. Havac 20:18, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *****Yeah, you're right. For completeness's sake, I'd suggest adding in a couple more sources immediately after "Jacen set out in 35 ABY" (other novels which call it a five-year journey), but that's just a preference of mine, not a requirement. Cheers. Menkooroo 20:36, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Ditto claiming that he visited the Baran Do Sages in 34 ABY --- Outcast states that he visited them near the end of his journey, but does it actually explicitly state that it was in 34 ABY? If not, then 34 ABY seems like conjecture based on the idea of The Joiner King taking place at the very beginning of 35 ABY.
 * 13) **The Baran Do, in 43 ABY, say he visited them nine years ago. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***My mistake! Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Some image captions end in punctuation while others don't.
 * 16) **Those which are complete sentences end in punctuation; those that aren't don't. Image caption policy. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I'm pretty nitpicky about timeline things, but a very well-done and extensively researched article with a fantastic use of images. Excellent job, Havac. Menkooroo 03:09, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thank you. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * The fourth paragraph of "Deep doubts" reads: "When five beetles menaced a pair of vulnerable Vors, however, he was forced to kill. More beetles were drawn to his lightsaber, forcing him to throw it away and run." I think it's worth mentioning that it was Droma who convinced him to throw the lightsaber. Droma was part of the expedition, and was the one who realized that they were attracted to light sources. Menkooroo 20:56, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **You just love Droma, don't you Jeff? I've added in a mention. Havac 01:44, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Damn right I do. But I also did legitimately feel like the paragraph was incomplete. Feel the Ryn love! Menkooroo 03:46, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Why do I sometimes drop into the FAN page for some ultimately minor and random objection?
 * 23) * Maybe mention somewhere his preference of darker coloured clothing/furnishings during his time as Sith Lord? I believe his GA office was almost completely black, as were his robes and weird armor-ish stuff he wore underneath. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:35, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **I've added a notation on the clothes, which is a good catch. I can't find anything about the office. If you come up with a quote, let me know. Havac 23:21, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***I'm pretty sure it was somewhere, possibly in early FOTJ or LOTF, but I can't be sure. Never mind then, and apologies for not attending to this objection earlier. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 04:22, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Me again.
 * 27) * Hey Hav, could you add something to Bts about ? Miniatures too if you want to, links and.
 * 28) **I actually took care of this under the Sofixit clause. I'm leaving my below question, though, as I think it might actually be a policy that individual issues need to be referenced, and not story arcs. Although I could be confusing it with a similar but different policy. I'd take care of it myself, but I'm trade-waiting for Invasion. Menkooroo 12:06, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***It was a good writeup, but I've moved the paragraph for minor layout purposes, and I've cut out the Miniatures information, as it's not particularly notable for a major EU character to have minis and so doesn't really merit a writeup. The action figure stuff is noteworthy, though. Havac 05:38, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * You've cited a few story arcs in Legacy and Invasion --- can you source the individual issues? For example, what's currently reference #104 is a link to Star Wars Legacy: Vector --- how do you feel about changing it to Star Wars Legacy 31: Vector, Part 12? Menkooroo 14:07, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **I don't source to issues, for a couple reasons. One is that it's too small a thing to cite to -- it creates a clutter of citations for small increments of a story, like citing chapters in a book. The other is that the story isn't presented for posterity in issue form -- it's collected in story form in trades. So there's no way for most people to even know what issue anything is from. And there's no rule requiring citation by issue, because of those limitations. Havac 05:38, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Ah, cool. I must have been mixing it up with a different policy. Also, I'd give the article a full review, but I'll be reading YJK relatively soon (I swear!) and naturally want to be unspoiled. Menkooroo 07:15, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) Eyrezer:
 * 34) * "Left once more in torture which ceased only when the Embrace of Pain had pushed him to his absolute limits and had to allow him to recover." This sentence seems incomplete. Is it meant to lead in to the following sentence? --Eyrezer 02:55, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) **Reworded. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "Solo was deeply worried about his vision, and used a Fallanassi memory rub to suppress Skywalker's memories that he had been on Hapes, traveling to Endor and spending time camping in order to lead his apprentice to believe that they had gone on the Endor trip exactly as planned." What do you mean by the bit after "on Hapes"? Is it replacing them with memories of going to Endor, or did they actually go? --Eyrezer 12:57, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Clarified. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "a man held several individuals hostage at gunpoint, and had another man and high explosives strapped to his back." Should this be "with high explosives strapped to his back"? --Eyrezer 23:43, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **No, he had both high explosives and a man strapped to his back. I've clarified it. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * You also seem to be missing some links/sources from WotC, such as this one. Some of the Jedi Counseling too. --Eyrezer 01:14, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **I've added that one and a few more. But I can't see the point of adding a dozen Q&As about a Jacen mini's vitality points or whether he can be used in a squad with Jaina -- it's purely gameplay mechanics. They're not talking about the character; they're talking about a minifigure. It's like including every Hasbro shipping manifest with Luke's name on it in his article. I don't believe we include Jedi Counseling. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * You also have no Fact Files listed as sources,ie 118. I also suspect there must be more Insider articles that mention Jacen, such as 20 Most Memorable Moments of the Expanded Universe, The 100 Greatest Things About Star Wars... Ever!, and The New Jedi Order in 100 Easy Lessons. He also has entries in the second and third editions of A Guide to the Star Wars Universe. --Eyrezer 01:34, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **I'll ask Jaymach about Fact Files, but I can't possibly know every single Insider article that mentions him. Unless someone brings me something with him in it, I can't prove the negative that no article has something about him, and it's not like we include every single namecheck of a character in a wholly OOU article anyway. If someone can point out something specific that includes Jacen and either includes actual information or is about IU reality, I'll add it. GTTSWU is added, too. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***The idea of those Insider articles is that they point to his OOU notability. Can you add something to the Bts based on 20 Most Memorable Moments of the Expanded Universe and The 100 Greatest Things About Star Wars... Ever!? It could fit nicely near the part where you say he is among relatively few from the Expanded Universe to receive his own action figure. Galaxy of Intrigue has a whole section on him re the GAG too, although nothing particularly notable. --Eyrezer 23:31, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****I've gone through GOI, and yeah, nothing to add. I've also added 20 Most Memorable Moments in, and am still looking for a copy of 100 Greatest Things. Havac 04:00, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) * There is also some info from The Last One Standing: The Tale of Boba Fett you should add. --Eyrezer 02:00, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) **Added. Havac 06:19, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I know. Redlinks. They'll be eliminated. Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * I count 23 18  16  6 zero, some of which can probably be pointed to existing pages as I've done with several already. ( Airship, board game , coraltree basal , Corellian Space Defense Force , dazzle-grenade , Dragon's Teeth , electroencephaloscan , fighting-sight , Font of Power , Garqi Resistance , grand marshal , ion shield generator , Legal and Legislative Department , medical runner , Mind Walking , mirror illusion , Mists of Forgetfulness , Pool of Knowledge , railcar , safety stick , Star Wars: The New Jedi Order Round-Robin Interview , Throne of Balance , and twin bond , for easy reference.) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:25, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Some more: actuator, Corellian villa, court-martial, You Bet I Love Jedi, Talkin' Jedi With JD, Champions of the Force Previews 7: Solo Twins and Jedi Sentinel --Eyrezer 00:43, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * I trust you will update the article with any new info from the Star Wars: Invasion comics?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course. Havac 20:26, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Antares Draco

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 08:38, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The dude punched Cade in the motha-kriffin' face!

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Looks solid to me&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:01, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Great character, great article --Jinzler 18:33, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Because one of us has to support this karkin thing at some point ;) —Tommy  9281 00:27, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Quick glance&hellip;
 * 2) * Please use the Cite web template for all external links.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:59, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I've added five external links using that template --- let me know if they're OK. Menkooroo 04:23, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I apologize, I also meant the references and notes.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****OK, I think I got it right this time. Menkooroo 15:36, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Cool. Thanks for taking care of this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:09, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Blacklist:
 * 8) * You state in the article that Draco earned the title of "Imperial Master," but nothing links to it. I would suggest creating the page since there is enough info to warrant a distinction between that rank and that of Imperial Knight. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 03:28, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **That's an interesting idea. I think what I might do instead is do some maintenace on the IK article itself, and create a section entitled "Training", with a subsection about mastery, and then link there. There's really only a single sentence on "mastery" within the IK's in the LECG, and the term "Imperial Master" itself would be a conjectural one. I'll write here again tomorrow when I've done that. Menkooroo 15:26, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Oooooookay. The first instance of "Master" in the article is now linked to the Mastery section of Imperial Knight. I did this rather than create a new article because Imperial Knight is about the order, not the title, unlike Jedi Knight, which is about the title. Menkooroo 10:03, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***My apologies. —Tommy 9281 04:47, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Later, Draco was in the Imperial Knights quarters on Bastion, and along with Masters Dare, Hogrum Chalk, and Emperor Fel, observed a sparring match between Masters Krieg and Rae that was being supervised by Master Treis Sinde." This has absolutely nothing to do with the sentence that follows, "Draco then joined a contingent of Imperial Knights and accompanied the Emperor and the Princess to Agamar in order to conduct peace talks with the Jedi Order." Please bridge the two of them with some sort of relevance, or else do something with the first one, because it actually seems quite pointless anyway.
 * 13) **I've reworded the sentences and jettisoned some extraneous info. I think it looks better now, but the two points aren't necessarily linked... the only way to do that, I think, would be to go into a tangent about how Azlyn was testing out her new armor for the upcoming mission to Agamar, so in an effort to keep it relevant, I did some rewording instead. How's it look? Menkooroo 10:49, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Fine. —Tommy 9281 00:27, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Sinde reminded Draco of his duty to the Emperor. Draco longingly stared at his love as he gave the order for the shuttle to lift off." Is his love the Emperor?
 * 16) **Maybe in a slash fic. :^D Reworded. Menkooroo 10:49, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *That's it. —Tommy 9281 00:47, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Jinzler
 * 19) * Draco's stats in the Legacy Era Campaign Guide reveal that he knew telekinesis. You should mention this in the P&A section --Jinzler
 * 20) **I had it listed as "levitation", but telekinesis is a better (and the proper!) name for it. Checking the LECG also revealed that Draco knows the Force shield talent, which I added. Holla! Menkooroo 12:55, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *Other than that, it looks pretty goooood --Jinzler 13:19, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **High praise indeed from someone who FA'd another Draco. I mean... another Dracoooooooo. Menkooroo 12:55, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) Attack of the Clone
 * 24) * "an acceptance that brought him into conflict with fellow Imperial Knights Krieg and Azlyn Rae": "acceptance" really does not sound like the right word choice here.
 * 25) * "At that moment, Calixte revealed herself to be in the room with them and eavesdropping": something's not working here; please try to reword.
 * 26) * "Draco accompanied Fel as he arrived on-planet, along with fellow Imperial Knights Sigel Dare and Draco's trusted friend Ganner Krieg." You imply that both are Knights, but the wording only confirms that Dare is one. Please clarify.
 * 27) * "and had rendezvoused with Jedi Knights Wolf Sazen and Astraal's brother, Shado Vao": same issue as above, just with the Jedi Knights.
 * 28) * "Draco's reasoning was that he loved her, to which her response was simply: "I know."'" Please try as much as possible not to use direct quotes in this manner. Blended quotes (i.e. On Geonosis, Rex was adamant against "turning tail and running" with his men'') are fine, but most others are slightly unprofessional.
 * 29) * "When Sazen attempted to return to the battle, Draco held him back, insisting that Marasiah's life was more important than anyone else's. Frantic, Draco revealed that the Massacre at Ossus had happened against the Emperor's orders and convinced Sazen to do whatever he could to heal her." Is something missing here? The implication of Sazen being upset over the Massacre at Ossus is implied but never expanded upon, and Draco's own "franticness" seems to come out of the blue.
 * 30) * "Fel summoned Draco and Kried": to where?
 * 31) * Context on the Wheel.
 * 32) *Have to continue with "Journey to the Hidden Temple" later because of time constraints.  CC7567  (talk) 21:47, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Addressed everything above. Let me know what ya think. Menkooroo 06:02, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *As a note, please watch how you capitalize ranks and titles.
 * 35) * "Undercover, Rae confronted Skywalker as he visited his uncle, "Bantha" Rawk&mdash;formerly the Jedi Knight Nat Skywalker&mdash;on Iego, and claimed to be a bounty hunter." Who claimed to be a bounty hunter? I know that you're trying to indicate Skywalker did so, but the phrasing doesn't make it clear.
 * 36) **Actually, I meant Rae. Good catch. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * "Cloaking their ship, the Imperial Knights followed the Mynock to the Hidden Temple and landed at the base behind their quarry." What base?
 * 38) *Watch your dash usage, please. "---" is in no way a proper substitute for either the em or the en dash.
 * 39) **Did I miss any? There are only single dashes left, in words like "Empire-in-Exile". Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***No, it's fine. I was just pointing it out to you so that you can be aware of it in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * "Accompanied by both Skywalkers, Sazen, and Vao, they appeared before Jedi Masters K'Kruhk, Tr'a Saa, and Tili Qua": who's "they"?
 * 42) * Please be consistent on using either "Rawk" or "Skywalker" for Nat throughout the entire article&mdash;including when you first mention him&mdash;unless it's absolutely necessary to mention his second name. It's getting rather confusing as it is having to distinguish between the Skywalkers.
 * 43) **Agreed. I originally didn't name him as a Skywalker, but another Inq changed it a few months back. I've re-jettisoned it. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * Please clarify the "TIE predators"/"TIE Predators" capitalization. Consistency is your friend and an important part in writing.
 * 45) * Please limit your excessive usage of "explored" in the Mission to Had Abbadon section.
 * 46) * Please clarify the TwinTail italicization&mdash;that article does not italicize it, and the MOS itself does not support it.
 * 47) *Will continue with "Peace talks on Agamar" once these are addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 06:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Addressed everything above. Thanks for the copy-edit, too. But I did change two sentences back to how they were post-objection but pre-copy-edit: adding "the latter of whom was Draco's trusted friend/Astraal's brother" to the end of a sentence seems to unnecessarily drag the sentence out. But thanks for the copy-edit and the corrections; much-appreciated. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * "Later, Draco was on Bastion, and, along with Masters Dare, Hogrum Chalk, and Emperor Fel, observed a sparring match between Masters Krieg and Rae that was happening under the direction of Master Treis Sinde." The "was happening" part is overall colloquial and rather confusing as to the chronology of the events.
 * 50) * "Antares Draco's service to the Empire saw him follow in the footsteps of his forefathers; one of his ancestors was a member of the Galactic Empire's Inquisitorius." Why is this in the P&T and not the Bio?
 * 51) * "As of 137 ABY, Draco was the second-in-command of the Imperial Knights; behind Roan Fel, he was the highest-ranking member of the organization and was at the head of its disciplined command structure, a position he earned through years of hard work, discipline, and loyalty." For the most part, same as above.
 * 52) * This is probably the only formatting objection I'm going to make, but please check this reference, as it doesn't seem to be quite correct:
 * 53) * Please fix that missing reference.
 * 54) * "Draco's belief that listening to the Force and heeding one's insights were paramount helped craft him into a cunning, loyal, and very competent warrior." Something isn't matching up here and is interrupting the flow.
 * 55) * "he doubted that their relationship could work": can you rephrase this somehow? It's rather colloquial and confusing.
 * 56) * Context on Palpatine&mdash;yes, context is needed in the Bts, too.
 * 57) **(Hopefully) addressed everything above. Thanks again. Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *I will be going through this once more after these are fixed. Additionally, please make sure to get my attention after you have updated it with the last issue of Monster so that I can review that as well. (As Cylka noted, that is one of the reasons why many Inqs discourage nominations that do not adhere to Rule 5 because it creates more problems for both them and the nominator.)  CC7567  (talk) 19:12, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **Will do. I suspect he'll probably be in Legacy 48 as well. Regarding Rule 5, there are a few other Legacy characters that are FA'd, including another prominent Imperial Knight. Just following precedent, is all. Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ***For now, I think it's best if I just review the newer info from the last Monster issue and do a second review overall at the same time to be more efficient. Please make sure to contact me when the article is updated.  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era.
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:02, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * As he is a recurring character in an ongoing comic series, I'd suggest that you re-evaluate how well he adheres to FAN Rule 5 of stability if you haven't already done so. The amount that this article has the potential to change over the next few months could slow down the review process, to say the least.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * I've been consistently updating the article the day after a new issue is released, and will continue to do so. Also, historically, Draco's played a big role in a bunch of issues and then disappeared for a year or so. Sure, we can't count on that, but even if he does keep taking center stage, I'll still update the article accordingly. Menkooroo 06:02, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm going to butt in here for just a moment. I agree that you have been updating, but the problem is that it is difficult for us to support the article if it needs to be updated repeatedly since we need to review every time you update. That is what CC is trying to say, I believe. This will definitely slow down, if not halt, the review process, especially since there is a possibility that Draco will continue appearing in the Monster story arc. This is simply something that we want you to be aware of. Cylka  -talk- 16:00, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm Ok with that. It's not like this article is going to pass before Monster is over, anyway. Menkooroo 16:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Then perhaps you should opt to take the nomination down at least until Monster has concluded. Just a suggestion. —Tommy 9281 21:12, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, Monster will be over in three weeks. I'd prefer not to shunt this nom back to the bottom of the list, where a nom can take months before getting a single review. I'm just following past precedent; Treis Sinde is an FA and has actually appeared more than Draco in the past fifteen months --- is the need for an FA to be updated any different than the need for a FAN to be updated? Menkooroo 14:08, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Point. For now, I'll follow suit with the clone and give another review after the end of Monster. —Tommy 9281 14:15, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Much appreciated! And the suggestion, too; there are admittedly quite a few policies that I haven't quite mastered the specifics of. Out of genuine curiosity --- if an FA'd character such as Jaina, Jag, Sinde, or Nihl appears in new media, are the inq's who supported its nom supposed to review the new stuff? Or once it passes, is it assumed that the nominator can be trusted to update it at an FA-level of quality? Menkooroo 14:19, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * The second scenario you mentioned applies. If it is found to be lacking, then it goes up on the chopping block. —Tommy 9281 14:30, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Updated for Legacy 46. I mentioned it on CC's talk page, but I'll reiterate here: Even though new info about Draco is coming in the next arc, leaving this nom on the FAN page assures article quality, as it forces me to keep it up-to-date and invites objections to anything that could be improved. The only party who receives any detriments is me, really, as it prevents me from adding any additional noms. If the article were promoted to FA status prior to Issue 49's release, you have my guarantee that I would continue to keep it updated, just as similar FA'd Legacy articles like Treis Sinde are. If not, I'm willing to wait a few more months. Menkooroo 03:51, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Uthar Wynn

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:49, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part 6 of "Project: Bad Guys of KotOR".

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:55, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:06, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy has something to say here, too
 * 2) * Footnote 6 (first of BtS) gives some strange error.
 * 3) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * a "full" Sith. "Inverted commas" are not liked in FA's; could you replace them? If it's a direct quotation, you could say "becoming what Wynn called a full Sith"; otherwise, they must be removed altogether.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * to kill Selene, the woman that accompanied Dustil at the Academy. Selene has been given context before; you can remove the last part.
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Unfortunately for Wynn, Revan sided with Ban, having befriended her. Enraged, Wynn went on the attack Again: You've just said that they were friends. Besides: "the" attack? What attack? "Sided with Ban" can easily be understood as merely not attacking her and walking to her side; you should specify whether Revan and/or Ban initiated an attack against Wynn.
 * 9) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * P&T: I guess we do not know when did Wynn tattoo himself: Before becoming headmaster, as a consequence of it...
 * 11) **No, nothing is known about this&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * P&T: First mention to Thalia May and the renegade students. Shouldn't they be mentioned in the Bio? Same for the rogue assassin droid.
 * 13) **I don't know. If I add these instances, I have to add every quest that Revan undertook on Korriban, for 100% game completion. These are relevant in the P&T section, since it explains how Wynn is gullible. Please advise.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:53, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Please take a look at it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:51, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *No more to come. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:11, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Cylka's first look:
 * 17) * In the Jedi Civil War's final year, the Jedi Padawan traveled to Korriban - You need to state who this Jedi Padawan is in the intro. It seems to me that you are missing a sentence or two here.
 * 18) **Please try it. Can't believe this escaped my notice for so long.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * I believe that you should add in the GameLSmechanics template since a player does not need to complete either the Thalia May or droid quest to gain enough prestige. This may mean that you will need to rework the section involving the tasks Revan needed to complete in order to gain prestige. There were quite a few of them. Also the template is needed for Ban's return to the Jedi Order.
 * 20) **True. Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * I think that it would be a good idea to somehow incorporate what Wynn said to each of the hopefuls at the very beginning, when he met them. It would give more depth to his character.
 * 22) **Added a little to the JCW section and more to the P&T.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * I also think that you need to add information from the Double-cross and Double-double-cross quests. This is importsnt in order to show how Wynn planned on disposing of Ban and also why he was weakened during the fight with Ban and Revan.
 * 24) **Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * It would be a good idea to add in that Revan's tasks in Sadow's tomb were to be his "final exam." Also, if I remember correctly, Wynn talks a bit at that time and that may be something else that would give a bit more depth to his character.
 * 26) **Got the final exam, will re-read the dialogue files and add as needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***I think it's good, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * Please take care of these objections and I'll take another look at the article. So far, so good. I just think it needs to have a bit more information added. Cylka  -talk- 13:11, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **I'll scrounge around for more info in the files, please advise if anything else is needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) Cylka's second look:
 * 31) * In the infobox, were the Sith hopefuls actually considered apprentices? As far as I know, Yuthura Ban was the only real apprentice.
 * 32) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * Because of his disdain for his father, Onasi became a promising student. - Is this right? Dustil didn't like his father, but was that what drove him to be a promising student?
 * 34) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * In the Jedi Civil War section I think that you should use Dustil's and Carth's first names since you mention two Onasi men. Just for clarification.
 * 36) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * This distressed Wynn, who felt that such an emotional entanglement would hinder Onasi's progress. - I don't think it was as much the actual emotional entanglement, as much as that she simply wasn't powerful enough. Please clarify that a little more.
 * 38) **Wynn's datapad actually says that it was Dustil's degree of affection for Selene that was slowing down his training.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * When Wynn welcomed the hopefuls he spoke a little about the dark side he saw in each of them. Maybe you could expand this a little.
 * 40) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * I think that you need to add in that Revan could only access the Star Map if he was accepted for academy training - in order to give a little more context on why Revan needed to enter the academy in the first place.
 * 42) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * You need to expand the double-cross section a little bit more - specifically, what was the importance i.e. Revan betrayed Ban to gain a bit more prestige, and then conspired with Ban to weaken Wynn at the final exam. As it stands, the section doesn't explain much. Basically, you want to give context to the section quote.
 * 44) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * You need to explain specifically why Wynn gave Revan the tasks to accomplish. And did he give them to Revan only, or all of the hopefuls?
 * 46) **He gave them all these tasks, and he only did it to gain more prestige.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * I would add in a little more about the other tasks that would earn prestige with Wynn - such as the holocron quest with Lashowe. You don't need to detail the quests, just simply their outcome. They are all part of revan's interactions with Wynn.
 * 48) **Added a couple more quests, and Wynn's reactions.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * You should add in a bit more about Wynn's death. He some more dialog during that scene and it would give his character a bit more depth.
 * 50) **Added a little more on his death.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * The sub-section name "Endgame" sounds a bit too much like game-mechanics. Maybe you could change it to something like "Defeat" or "Death" or something along those lines.
 * 52) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * I would remove the info about the Ebon Hawk since it is not needed. Simply talk about the Exile exploring the Valley of the Dark Lords.
 * 54) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * I would also suggest that you remove mention of Kreia being Darth Traya. Again, it adds unnecessary information and you would need more context for it. Simply refer to her as Kreia.
 * 56) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * He was not opposed to slavery; when Revan asked the Sith Master about his companions, Wynn said that Revan's "slaves" were irrelevant - This needs a little bit more context. Maybe add the context in the Bio.
 * 58) **Done, I think.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * Wynn was reluctant to talk about his past - If I recall, he mentioned something as to why his past was unimportant.
 * 60) **No, he only said that Revan did not need to know any other info.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * He believed that Naga Sadow was the greatest of Korriban's deceased Dark Lords. - This sentence is sort of tacked onto the end of the paragraph and doesn't really fit well there. Try to place it somewhere else.
 * 62) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * The syntax in the Bts doesn't match up. Please look it over.
 * 64) **Still working on this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ***OK, I believe this is good, please see how it is.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *Take care of these objections and I'll have another look. Cylka  -talk- 15:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) Pasta-by:
 * 68) * Error in the references.
 * 69) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * The succession box is not complete and needs to be cited to sources that provide dates along with those that provide the fact that the position was held.
 * 71) **The only problem is that there are no specific dates. All we know is that Uln was in charge of the Academy when Revan and Malak recaptured Korriban, and that as tome point during the war, Wynn took it from him, and this could have happened at any point.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***Fair enough, but with only one other individual and no unique information regarding time, it is completely irrelevant. I've removed it from both articles. If an Inq disagrees, I will speak with them, but I am saying it is irrelevant and unnecessary as it pushes the line of proper succ-box usage. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:41, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) Third time's the charm:
 * 75) * You need to add in something about Revan's companions the first time that Revan talks to Wynn. Otherwise, wynn talking about Revan's allies in the next paragraph doesn't make much sense. Also, make sure to mention that Wynn believed that they were his slaves.
 * 76) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * When Wynn welcomes the students, please add in that the first of them that gains enough prestige will be worthy of becoming a Sith. That will make things clearer later. I also removed Kel Algwinn as a student since he was already a student at the academy.
 * 78) **Please try it, and yeah, I completely forgot that Algwinn was already there. Thanks---Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) * After learning the Sith Code from Ban, Revan went to Wynn and finished the code as he spoke it. - Please clarify this sentence. I know what it means only because I have played the game.
 * 80) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * After some thought, I believe that the part about Revan and Carth convining Dustil to turn away from the Sith and leave the academy needs to fall under the section. I can't find any confirmation that this is canon, or that Carth was one of the companions on Korriban. The cut content from TSL won't count as confirmation.
 * 82) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) * After Malak's death at Revan's hands, the remaining Sith on Korriban fought over the right to rule the Sith. The Sith then turned on one another. - Please rewrite this a bit since the second sentence pretty much sounds the same as the first.
 * 84) **After re-reading it, I feel there's no need for the second sentence, so I removed it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * Please rewrite the intro a bit. The second paragraph seems to be focused too much on Revan.
 * 86) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) *Much better, Kasra! You're almost there. Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:23, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) **Thanks, Cylka!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) Final details - Please rewrite the second paragraph of the intro a little bit to reflect the changes in the article. Specifically, it needs to be explained what exactly the prestige is all about and that Wynn taking Revan to the tomb was part of his final test. This paragraph is a bit choppy and needs to be smoothed out. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 17:45, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 90) *Think I got it, please let me know if anything else is needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:56, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) Stuff:
 * 92) * Kun did not form the Brotherhood; your pipelink in the body needs to be fixed. All I have.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:36, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **Done. Thanks for you review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:38, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) Cav:
 * 95) *Intro: Revan gained the approval for entrance into the Academy from Uln's apprentice Ban, and the Headmaster assigned Ban as Revan's teacher. I thought Ban was Wynn's apprentice at the time, not Uln's, as previously stated?
 * 96) **[smacks head] Darn, I don't know how I missed that one for so long. Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) *Intro: You mention that Revan avoided the corruption of the Dark Side, then state that he planned to murder Wynn with Ban. Is this not corruption? Or should the actual events surrounding the double-triple-quadruple cross be expanded on a little?
 * 98) **Decided to remove this, not necessarily essential to the intro.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) *After Revan helped May and the renegades escape Korriban, he lied to Wynn about their fate, impressing Wynn. Why was Wynn impressed? Because of the lie that Revan told him, or because Revan had lied to him? A little more clarity would be appreciated. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:44, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 100) **Removed the "impressed" part altogether and reworded. Thank you for your review, Cav.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:30, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Credit goes to Xicer9 for uploading the audio files in the article. Thanks, man.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, December 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * I would like to ask why the references to the CSWE keep changing. I think it's essential to list the fact that there is an entry on a character, such as Wynn, in the references, rather than just sourcing it to the CSWE itself. Is it really a big deal to have the reference say ?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Also, sometimes the entry's name differs from the subject. For example, HK-47's entry it listed as "HK-47 droid, Traavis is listed as "Traavis, General", Karath is listed as "Karath, Admiral Saul", etc.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Ganner Krieg

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 07:00, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ganner? I barely know her.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Kreig's my favorite Imp. Knight, next to Treis Sinde.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:00, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work, but watch your linking. Link directly to article in pipelinks, not through redirects.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:49, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Nicely done. - Lord Hydronium 19:34, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( talk ) 09:54, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Feel free to modify any of the quote captions I changed if necessary.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:21, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Because someone should be looking at this:
 * 2) * There's quite a few instances of dialogue being paraphrased that feels a bit play-by-play. Examples: "Draco wondered if loyalty was the same as obedience", the conversation between Fel and Krieg in Trust Issues, "Krieg dueled Vao and asked him if all visitors were welcomed with swinging lightsabers". Rather than retell all the dialogue between them, I'd suggest conversations be boiled down to their key points (and if it's not so important that the character is being told something, as it is just telling the thing itself in the article, I'd say eliminate the conversation framework entirely and just flat out state the facts). One-off lines in fights and such can be done away with entirely, or, if important, boiled down to their gist, like "taunted" or somesuch.
 * 3) * Other example, later in the article: "Skywalker chimed in, revealing knowledge of Darth Krayt and the One Sith that he had learned during his time as their captive" Something like this, for example, can be done away with, and just focused on the last part of the sentence: he proposed to assassinate Krayt. Or if the knowledge he has is important, something like "Skywalker, who had information on Krayt and the Sith from his time as their captive, proposed assassinating Krayt." Basically, the information is more important than a straight account of the events. This goes generally for the whole article.
 * 4) * Participial phrases. There's a lot of them, often in a row, and as a result there's a lack of variety in the sentence structure in many places. (That's sentences like "Drawing his lightsaber, Darth Vader advanced.") I'm not going to make this too formal an objection, because the exact amount there should be is a subjective thing and I don't have any specific areas to point out, but it is something that should be toned down throughout the article.
 * 5) **Good catch. I changed a few of them --- eg: "Cloaking their ship, the Imperial Knights followed the Mynock to the Hidden Temple" became "The Imperial Knights cloaked their ship and followed the Mynock to the Hidden Temple." There may still be a few too many, so feel free to change any that you catch. Menkooroo 06:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * "As he rued having let Skywalker escape at Marasiah's request" - I'm not really sure what this means. Whatever the event is, I'd suggest inserting it as a fact in chronological order, rather than relating it through Fel after the fact.
 * 7) * "In a ruse, Draco and Krieg piloted their TIE Predators after Shado Vao's TwinTail Fighter" - not entirely sure what the ruse is here.
 * 8) * "Krieg found some quiet time with Rae, where the two discussed the feelings they harbored for one another." - if there's indication that this isn't the first time they've had them (which I recall there being), this should be mentioned earlier, maybe when Rae is first brought up.
 * 9) * Play-by-play is pretty common even beyond the dialogue, really. "Extending his hand to her, Krieg informed her that he was taking her home." - this is all really too much detail for the fundamental point that Krieg brings Rae back to Bastion. "a smiling Krieg asked her why she felt that he was doing so" - that sort of thing. (Just FYI, I keep bringing up these specific examples to give an idea of what I'm talking about, not to beat a dead horse.) On the flip side, I'd say the second-to-last paragraph of "Mission to Had Abaddon" is the exact level of detail you should going for; it hits the salient points without just retelling the comic.
 * 10) * "several more Imperial Knights joined the fray, having also disguised themselves as farmers while positioning themselves away from the main assemblage" - another of those facts that should be inserted where it first matters chronologically, rather than where it's first revealed to the reader.
 * 11) * Suggestion, not objection: merge the Azlyn Rae section into the last paragraph of P&T; they cover the same basic material, and one person he has feelings for doesn't seem to warrant its own special section. Also, even it's a bit play by play; does it tell us more about his relationship with her to repeat him bringing her back from Kiffex? Those things about Krieg's mannerisms with her that I mentioned removing above, those could actually work here, and serve to illustrate the point I think you're getting at, that he behaves tenderly towards her. - Lord Hydronium 02:52, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thank you for the review! I've addressed everything above --- play-by-play in the instances you mentioned (and a few more) have been eroded, the ruse explained, chronology respected, and relationships section jettisoned and merged. Let me know if I missed anything. Menkooroo 06:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Looks much better. Well done. Couple more, though. :P - Lord Hydronium 07:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Four of the five Sith Lords confronted Morne and Skywalker" - which ones? (I actually looked it up, found it was all but Wyyrlok, but I can't figure out a good way to write that. Maybe you'll have better luck.)
 * 15) **Changed to "All of the Sith Lords save Wyyrlok". Menkooroo 07:19, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Disguising themselves as farmers, both parties ignited their lightsabers" - these would seem to run counter to each other. They were already disguised, right? - Lord Hydronium 07:12, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **I actually meant the Jedi by the other party, and I've made it clear. Menkooroo 07:19, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Guess I wasn't clear on what I meant. It seems to me that disguising themselves as farmers and igniting lightsabers are opposite to each other. Were they disguised as farmers before, and then undisguised themselves by igniting their sabers? Did they go into disguise when the Sith appeared, then ignite their sabers after that? - Lord Hydronium 10:45, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Ah, gotcha. I cleaned it up; take a look. Menkooroo 12:49, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Grunny:
 * 21) * Flying objection before I continue reading it. There's a lot of confusion when you use Imperial to refer to both the Empire-in-exile and Krayt's Galactic Empire, i.e. at times like "While the talks were happening, Imperial spies Morrigan Corde and Jor Torlin, also aboard the station, managed to cause the Imperial shuttle to fire on Stazi's ship using a Command Override Limpet Droid, prompting Stazi to believe that Roan Fel had betrayed him." In this one sentence you've used Imperial to refer to both sides, which is confusing to the reader as it reads as some of Fel's spies made Fel's shuttle fire on Stazi's ship. Can you go through and try to clarify such situations throughout the article? Grunny  ( talk ) 02:59, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Good call. I clarified in the Wheel section and the Had Abbadon section, but let me know if I missed any. Menkooroo 06:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era.
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:02, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Issue 46, baby! Menkooroo 06:34, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Battle of Khorm

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This one has been sitting on my back for a very long time, but finally it's done. The longest TCW comic battle article (and my own FAN) so far.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) --ARC-Captain Fordo 21:23, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Kreivi Wolter 11:16, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Okay, but I believe Wolffe is important enough. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:22, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 22:32, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) -- 1358  (Talk) 05:30, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:28, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) (Belated) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * "Asajj Ventress tracked and ambushed the remaining two Jedi and their team but did not kill them, as she was recalled back to the processing facility; Ozzel and the clones had escaped." Can you smooth this out somehow? It's rather unclear why the two clauses are linked together.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Adaroo promised his new allies to show a weakness in Gout's lines": please check this; it's not very clear.
 * 5) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 21:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I was referring to the "to show", which ends abruptly without a direct object&mdash;"show" is a transitive verb. Who or what did Adaroo show the weakness to?  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *Fairly good so far. Will continue with "Turning the tide" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 08:26, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Koon decided to liberate them before attacking and ordered to contact Ozzel and tell him to delay his assault": again, same verb problem. Who did Koon order?
 * 9) * If you use a character's full name once when you first mention him/her, chances are that you won't have to use the full name again. I've corrected all instances, but I'm not sure why this inconsistency is suddenly popping up, as I've never noticed it in your writing. Please take note of this.
 * 10) * Can you please lessen the excessive usages of "plan" throughout the article?
 * 11) *I'll try to make sure to go over the article with you once more after these have been fixed, but please be careful when proofreading. Just about all of the things I corrected in my copy-edit were related to grammar, which I know you can do better on.  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **All have been addressed, I believe. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:31, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) Lee's comment
 * 14) * Wollfe should be in the notable participants part.
 * 15) **I thought about including him there, actually, but then I decided against it as the Republic section was already overcrowded compared with the CIS. I can still add him, but I don't think it's that necessary. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:31, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *That's all. Good work. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:35, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Attack II
 * 18) * "Discovering this, the Jedi decided to free the hostages before initiating a full-scale attack, but Ozzel had already launched an assault by that time." The chronology here is rather confusing and dizzying; please smooth it out.
 * 19) **Try this.
 * 20) * "As the few remaining troops became surrounded by the droids, Major Ozzel panicked and told Wolffe to signal the Separatists of the Republic's surrender." So did they surrender? How is this relevant? What did Wolffe or Ozzel do? With its current wording, it seems like extraneous and irrelevant information.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * "The two Jedi Masters faced off against Ventress and offered her to surrender": very awkward phrasing and grammar.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "Accompanied by her droid commandos, Ventress initiated a search for any survivors and killed those that she found." Specifically survivors of the avalanche? Please clarify.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * "Ozzel's decisions turned out for worse for the Republic": rather awkward wording that doesn't really adhere to any common expressions. Please try to reword.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * Please decide on the tense in the Bts and use it; the shift isn't working out very well.  CC7567  (talk) 04:18, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:22, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Sigel Dare

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 13:55, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Die in the name of the true Emperor!

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) It is good to see the three main Imp. Knights put for the FA's.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:42, December 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 05:30, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  ( talk ) 08:47, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Before I review this, you need to use  instead of  .  is only for three or more speakers.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:56, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Correctified! Menkooroo 03:47, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Attack of the Clone
 * 4) * "Finding Gahan, Dare and Sinde saved her from execution at the hands of a squad of stormtroopers, and informed her both of the situation and that they would be taking her off-planet to in order to help them reach Stazi. Still wary of their plan, Dare taunted Gahan, telling her that her Admiral had been outsmarted, but was in turn reprimanded by Sinde, who felt that she was failing to see the larger picture." Something's not quite right with the plurality here; please check.
 * 5) **"Sinde then informed her of the situation, and told her that she would be taken off-planet in order to bring the Imperial Knights to see Stazi." This is still relatively unclear. Which Imperial Knights? The wording implies that it's ones that are not Sinde or Dare, and I'm not sure if that is correct or not. Also, how would taking her off-planet bring the Knights to see Stazi? Please clarify this.  CC7567  (talk) 03:08, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Changed both it and an earlier sentence in order to clarify that she would lead them to Stazi. Menkooroo 05:29, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * "Sinde quickly laid out a plan that involved everyone who could fit into stormtrooper armor donning it": this is rather choppily worded, and the "donning it" is interrupting the sentence flow. Please check this, as I'm not sure what you're trying to say.
 * 8) * "Before they could take off, Sinde saw Azard, who had sensed a disturbance in the Force, approaching, and ordered Dare": same deal with the "approaching" here.
 * 9) * Please try to relate the quotes more to Dare, as this is her article. You can do this by making that all of the quote captions mention her somehow.
 * 10) * "in accompanying the Emperor and the Princess to Agamar": Princess? What princess? On a related note, you mention a "Marasiah" later in the article but don't provide context on her.
 * 11) * Just to clarify, did Dare appear in Monster, Part 4 or not? The article includes substantial information from there, but it isn't listed in her Appearances.
 * 12) * "and even sarcastically telling Stazi that he was welcome after the explosives had been disarmed": while I know what you mean, I think this can be worded a bit clearer. Perhaps saying that she was underlining her involvement in the plan and her instrumental actions in its success would be better.
 * 13) *Good work otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 03:24, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Take a look. I also trimmed some play-by-play down to keep it salient. And nope, Sigel isn't shown in any panels in Part 4 of Monster. But since Marasiah, Azlyn, and Rasi are emphasized as the only ones left behind, I've assumed that she boarded the shuttle. Menkooroo 13:55, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Retrieving Sinde – I'm fairly certain Corso and Stazi planned to talk about a potential alliance between the Jedi and the Alliance, not Cade Skywalker, given that Stazi says "I find this Skywalker more and more interesting, but that's for another day. For now I'd like to hear more of what you have to say, Jedi." As such could you take another look at this sentence: "Jedi Master Te Corso  invited Dare to join a private conversation about the bounty hunter Cade Skywalker, but the Imperial Knight declined, instead asking Stazi for the use of one of the Alliance's Imperial shuttles, which would allow her to covertly slip into Dac."  Grunny  ( talk ) 07:36, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *You're right. Good catch. I chose to remove the point altogether though, as mentioning that Dare declined to join in a conversation is a bit too play-by-play. Menkooroo 08:46, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Does LECG specify what kind of agent she became? Otherwise, fine work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:09, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *The LECG mentions the "agent" thing in regards to all of the Imperial Knights (Sigel is only mentioned in the campaign guide in the "examples" section of the IK's), and just says "Upon completing their training, they would serve the Emperor as a bodyguard and agent, fighting until the death." So, agent of the Emperor. Good question, though. Menkooroo 23:58, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:03, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Issue 46! Menkooroo 08:54, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Second Battle of Geonosis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: FAN, TCW has returned. Thank you very much to for helping out with the initial stages of the article.

(0 Inqs/6 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very good Commander Rex, you are apparently strong in the Force.--Sean Red 17:26, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Captain Rex  JangFett  (Talk) 21:55, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yes, thank you, Jang.  CC7567  (talk) 22:04, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Great job, CC7567! I have seen your article from start to finish and I must say: it looks fantastic. --<Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman <Font color="SaddleBrown">No, I did NOT steal your droid! 18:12, December 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Flamethrowers! Menkooroo 16:55, December 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Good job as always, CC.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:32, December 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  11:09, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Will Coric or the Battle Dorin appear here of at the GAN page soon ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:14, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Doubtful.  CC7567  (talk) 19:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A quick glance:
 * 2) * Bts refers to Ki-Adi and Barriss as Expanded Universe characters --- they're actually both from the films.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Aftermath: It ends on a cliffhanger; the suspense is killing me! Maybe a sentence or two indicating that the dire fight for survival was won by the goodguys would give the article closure while avoiding veering into irrelevant territory.
 * 5) **I'm sorry, but I honestly don't feel it's entirely relevant, and there always ends up being more information than there should be. The article to the Skirmish is already linked if the reader finds it interesting.
 * 6) ***Well, as the brain worms came from the battle itself, I think it's relevant as a quick note in "aftermath" --- even just an additional half-sentence at the end saying "an attempt that ultimately failed" or something? If not, no worries, but I thought I'd try one more time. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****My view still stands on the matter.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Can't blame a guy for trying. :^P
 * 9) * Second paragraph of intro --- Ahsoka and Barris sneaked into the facility --- should it be snuck?
 * 10) **"Snuck" is less formal and mostly less used; "sneaked" is more appropriate in this case.
 * 11) *Will definitely give it a full review within the week! Menkooroo 08:47, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 18:28, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Full review!
 * 14) * Second paragraph of intro: "Tano and Offee" is used twice in close succession. Maybe change the second instance to something like "The pair" or "The two padawans"?
 * 15) **I feel that being more consistent is better in this case, and it also leaves no room for speculation that "the pair" could refer to their Masters instead.
 * 16) * Image caption punctuation: I'm not sure if it's an actual policy or not, but as far as I know, only complete sentences are to end in punctuation. For example, a descriptive caption like "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land" should not, while "The Republic gunships were ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land", recalling an actual event, should. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I apologize.
 * 17) **I'm not sure I understand your reasoning. Whether "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land." is "descriptive" or not, it's still a sentence as defined by the English language.
 * 18) ***Going by what I gathered from Havac's Darth Caedus article: A sentence describing what's happening in the picture, in present tense, shouldn't end with a sentence, whereas something in past tense should. I don't think too many Wookieepedians are clear on the matter, and there are a lot of FA's that don't follow it, so I'll strike the objection. I'm not sure if it's an actual policy, either, actually.
 * 19) * Penultimate paragraph of Rough Landing opens with "Having spent the time reallocated resources since Commander Jet's previous request," --- Is this supposed to be "reallocating"?
 * 20) **Yes, thank you for catching that. Fixed.
 * 21) * Final sentence of final paragraph of that section also runs on for a long time without any punctuation; some rewording might help make it read less awkwardly.
 * 22) **Adjusted.
 * 23) * Attack on the Main Foundry: "Skywalker and Unduli swung under the bridge and across its underbelly" --- context on what they used to swing?
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) * Also in that section: "grimly but alive"... should it be "grim but alive"?
 * 26) **Actually, it was supposed to be "grimy." Fixed.
 * 27) * The Geonosians' Threat: The Geonosians are referred to as "insects" at one point; Note the difference between insects and insectoids.
 * 28) **Fixed.
 * 29) * I'd like to see a quick note made on Queen Karina's prodigious size. Very nitpicky things that hardly detract from a fantastic article; great use of the episode guides as sources. A very good read. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thanks very much for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Fett takes a look (Yes, my head is still intact)
 * 32) * "also known simply as the Battle of Geonosis" I would remove this bit from the intro, CC. Seeing that another official source from SW.com corrected themselves by stating this was the Second Battle of Geonosis. The Battle of Geonosis was the beginning battle of the Clone Wars, which obviously wasn't this CW battle.
 * 33) **Removed.
 * 34) * Afterward, you say "early in the Clone Wars". Due to the unestablished CW timeline, I would replace it with "around 22 BBY," as always when it comes to TCW battle articles. I didn't wanted to replace it myself, because I wanted you to decide.
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * Do you have any source indicating that the Battle of Geonosis was "historic"? Kinda OR/ POV if not.
 * 37) **Removed.
 * 38) * "In the midst of the ongoing fight against the Geonosians, Captain Rex contacted Commander Cody to request reinforcements for Skywalker but found that Kenobi would be unable to give support, as Kenobi himself had been shot down" If you read the end of this sentence, it sounds like Kenobi was killed.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) *Other than that, great work CC. I made some minor edits too during my copyedit. Feel free to change them if you like. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 06:09, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thank you for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 08:04, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) Only one little thing: at the end of Weapons Factory, I think the exchange between Luminara and Anakin about accepting that their Padawans may have died and that Anakin was less willing to do so is worth a mention, otherwise they may not have rescued the Padawans. Nevertheless, a superb job as always CC.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:26, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *I have to disagree; Tano's own actions were what saved her and Offee, not their Masters' worrying over them. Regardless of how notable Skywalker's and Unduli's views were, they did not have a direct affect on the battle and belong in the character articles, not that of the battle. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:02, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) Xd
 * 45) * Do we really add a &dagger; after destroyed ships? Xd1358  Talk 20:53, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) **To my knowledge, yes.  CC7567  (talk) 02:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I should've checked if first, sorry.
 * 48) * One more: I think you should mention the year in the prelude to give the reader an idea when it was. Xd1358  Talk 05:43, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) **It's already linked in there for the reader's use, and I'm personally getting tired of the blatant "around 22 BBY" that is becoming trademark on all TCW articles. It doesn't have to be stated outright for the reader to pick it up.  CC7567  (talk) 06:44, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Fair enough. But you're right, the 22 BBY is getting a bit boring. Xd1358  Talk 13:19, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is just pettifogging, not really an objection: is Poggle called as Archduke in any of the episodes he appears during this battle? In Weapons Factory, he is called as a Warlord. Maybe this is not worth to even debate, but as the article Mission to Rugosa describes Ventress as a Supreme Leader (which she was called in the episode), thought all the other battles calls her just commander, should the title Archduke be changed as Warlord in this article? Kreivi Wolter 16:36, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Regardless of what the episodes call him, Poggle is an Archduke. It's his proper title.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:38, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yup. Btw, does the title of a character needs to be sourced in the articles like this? We all know of course that Poggle is an Archduke, but the title isn't mentioned in Landing at Point Rain, which currently sources Poggle in the infobox. Kreivi Wolter 16:46, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Changed to "Warlord" and sourced to Weapons Factory to avoid any confusion.  CC7567  (talk) 21:12, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Okay. Asking ends here. Kreivi Wolter 21:23, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Vor

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:31, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Short name, long article. One of these species of WP:AS.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) The coolest reptavimammals in the Star Wars galaxy. I eagerly await the next alien from Farlstendoiro. ~ SavageBob 07:17, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 10:19, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Please watch your linking, however.  CC7567  (talk) 04:25, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Intro is way too short.  Xd1358  Talk 18:48, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:06, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 4) * Can you mention that they are a sentient species in the first sentence of the lead? Without the picture, they could be a human race, or even a conglomeration of many species, so it's best to be specific up front.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * "reptilian mammals"? Isn't that an oxymoron? Should they be classified as reptomammals? Go with that the sources say, but this was confusing (ah, Star Wars)!
 * 7) **No: Some sources say reptilians, some say mammals, none sais reptomammals; there's a note in BtS about it. Done nothing.
 * 8) * "capable of creating great beauty through their music" --> Do they consider this beauty, or do outsiders, or do both? It would be good to say, so that this line doesn't come off as POV-ish.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * "Unfortunately, the Empire..." --> Be careful of ''unfortunately" inn the lead.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Can you mention what sector their world was in at some point in the article?
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) * The images make it seem that other colors than green were possible for their skin (I notice this a lot with Star Wars art; the artists take a lot of leeway with text descriptions).
 * 15) **Done nothing. That could be a light trick or war paints, and the source mentioning skin colors is explicit and determinant.
 * 16) *** Fair point; in that case, can you add something to either BTS or at least a footnote mentioning that images show them with yellows and browns as well? ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Done.
 * 18) * Do the sources call their beak "vestigial"? It's hard to imagine that they didn't still use it, to talk, eat, etc.
 * 19) **Done nothing. Jedi Academy Sourcebook says so explicitly.
 * 20) ***Someone at WEG didn't understand what "vestigial" means, but OK. ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * There's some present tense mixed into the "Biology" section, so be careful.
 * 22) **Done.
 * 23) * "Until that time, let no music sound. No pipe shall be blown, nor voiced raised in song. It would be a mockery of our broken sacred place. In silence the first Cathedral was born, so it will be again. Let all heed this command." Should that be "voice" rather than "voiced"? I would just change it myself, but since it's a direct quote, I wanted to be sure.
 * 24) **Done. Good one, btw.
 * 25) * Again, "the voice... was particularly beautiful . . . " In the eye of which beholder?
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) * Can you combine some of the shorter paragraphs with others? Particularly, the one about the treaty of the Vors being signed and the one about their alignment during the Clone Wars are very short.
 * 28) **Done.
 * 29) * "six other avians" --> I thought they were reptile/mammals, not avians?
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * "so-called Galactic Empire" --> I don't think the "so-called" is necessary; it was the Galactic Empire!
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "ceased to appreciate the visit of aliens." --> This is a bit confusing. Did they stop allowing visitors to come to their planet? Or they just didn't think much of such visits anymore?
 * 34) **Done.
 * 35) * Ackbar's crash into the Cathedral of the Winds and the aftermath are well described, but the section is pretty long as well and more detailed than any other part of the article. I'd suggest condensing the section considerably and moving the longer version to a new article, titled however you see fit. Ideally, I'd say you need a paragraph about initial overtures and the crash, a paragraph about the Vor reconstruction, a paragraph about the New Republic response (Ackbar's resignation, Wedge and Qwi's visit), and a paragraph about the resolution of the investigation and reopening of the cathedral.
 * 36) **Done!
 * 37) * I'm not sure why Qwi Xux's moving to Vortex is relevant to the species article; I'd suggest cutting this.
 * 38) **Modified, so it mentions that Vors are welcoming visitors once again, which I think is important. What do you think now?
 * 39) ***The article doesn't need the note that her memory of the event was so strong it couldn't be wiped, but it's much better now. ~ SavageBob 00:00, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) *** This objection take a bit closer of a look, so I'll get back to you later today. ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * Perhaps the fact that they lack any hair should be mentioned in "Biology and culture"?
 * 42) **Done.
 * 43) * Again, why "so-called" Battle of Vortex? Either it was or wasn't a battle...
 * 44) **Done.
 * 45) * Again, be careful with the "unfortunately" in the description of the battle.
 * 46) **Done.
 * 47) * In the paragraph about the smugglers' alliance, Calrissian, etc., it's unclear how this has anything to do with Vors. I'm guessing one of these characters discussed is a Vor, but could you clarify who?
 * 48) **Done.
 * 49) * Do we have an aerobat article? If not, please link the term and make one. Sounds fun!
 * 50) **Done.
 * 51) * You mention several offworld Vors in the History section (particularly the last few paragraphs); perhaps mention again some of the worlds Vors were known to reside on in the "Vors in the galaxy" section.
 * 52) **Done.
 * 53) * Can you beef up your captions a bit? Also, it might be a good idea to move pictures closer to text to make the images more illustrative. For example, the Cathedral of the Winds image could be moved to the section of the article talking about that structure.
 * 54) **Done.
 * 55) * I'll copy edit the article when I get a chance. Good work so far, as always. ~ SavageBob 17:21, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **One objection pending. Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:14, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **All done now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:38, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *** Let me copy edit the article, then I will support! ~ SavageBob 00:00, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "Vor was the name of the only sentient species..." This sounds odd to me. Why the emphasis on their being the only native sentients? Most of our species articles don't do this. I'm also not sure the pronunciation is necessarily; I can't really think of another way to pronounce "Vor" than to rhyme with "for" and "bore."
 * 60) ** Both removed, even if I digress. "only" added to article on Vortex.
 * 61) * Does the Jedi Academy Sourcebook specifically call them avians? Avian redirects to bird, so if so, we need to adjust our articles!
 * 62) ** Page 117. Omniscient narrator might be metaphorical, but I doubt it.
 * 63) ** "The Vors are delicate hollow-bone reptilian avian humanoids who ride the winds on lacy wings"
 * 64) *** Ay-ay-ay... Now they are reptiles, birds, and mammals? C'mon, SW expanded universe authors! :) I suppose that the discussion of their avian-ness should go together where you describe them as mammals and reptiles, then, since they are apparently now part of three families instead of two. I looked up "avian" and, really, the only definition for the word is "of or having to do with birds," so I'm not sure there's any other way. :/ ~ SavageBob 18:17, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ****Give it a try. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:12, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * You need a source after "with mammalian features." Sorry if I accidentally deleted it in my copy edit. Did I?
 * 67) ** Re-added. Tsk, tsk ·;)
 * 68) * What do you mean by their eyes occasionally being covered by lids? Did some members of the species not have eyelids, or do you mean they sometimes closed their eyes?
 * 69) ** Uh, modified.
 * 70) * Should the bit about their intelligence go under "society and culture"? I think at least the bit about their being able to work together well should, but maybe all of it would fit in better one section down. I may have more as I continue the copy edit. Désolé! ~ SavageBob 06:36, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) ** Added info to note why it shouldn't go there. And, feel free to keep going, do you worst `:) Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:31, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) *** Bwahahahaha! :P More to come as I copy edit the other sections, maybe. ~ SavageBob 18:17, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) * OK, in "Society and culture", the first and second paragraphs both basically say that they were seemingly emotionless but not really, and here's why. The third paragraph, too, has some overlap, where you talk about how they try to avoid conflict. I'm wondering if they should be combined, or perhaps rewritten so that you have one paragraph about how they appear to outsiders, then another paragraph about the true situation (about how they stifle their emotions to maintain harmony and work for the big picture). What do you think? ~ SavageBob 19:32, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) **Modified to use 1st paragraph to talk about the alien impression; 2nd to talk about the reality Vors hide, and 3rd for anything else. Tell me if you like it.
 * 75) * "Those winds were very influential on Vor culture." Can you say how?
 * 76) **Hmmm... Don't know what I had in mind when I wrote that. Removed.
 * 77) * "which served as their homeworld before any other consideration." I'm not sure what this means. What other consideration?
 * 78) **Official alien classification: Homeworld instead of trading center, stronghold or anything. Modified. Better?
 * 79) * What does "stethyc" mean? I can't find a definition online. ~ SavageBob 21:15, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 80) **Fixed. I went back to the source as I was spellchecking it, and the source said "aesthetic." -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:53, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Was the Cathedral of the Winds only made centuries before 0 BBY? I think the Atlas says that it was millennia before, since it was a Wonder of the Galaxy.
 * 82) ** Atlas supersedes previous sources; modified.
 * 83) * Can you explain "forecasted event"? It was predicted each year? ~ SavageBob 21:28, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) ** "Eagerly awaited"?
 * 85) * Do we know that they sided with the Republic in the Clone Wars, or just that their planet fell in Republic-controlled territory?
 * 86) ** Modified.
 * 87) * Do we know who retired the initial offer to join the New Republic? It would be nice to know whether the Republic or the Vors did this, if the sources specify.
 * 88) ** Sources specify that the Vors did nothing like that. So, it must have been Mothma.
 * 89) * I still think the first paragraph of "New Jedi Order and beyond" is beyond the scope of this article, more appropriate to Vortex maybe. I think it's OK to mention Xux going there and being given the job of her choice, but the fact that Luke came to visit and she was torn up about the flute incident, and Dae'shara-whatever was there, these all seem superfluous. The population is important to note, however.
 * 90) ** OK.
 * 91) * Why did they respect Jaina Solo? Do we know?
 * 92) ** I think because she was a war hero, but OS is not really that specific.
 * 93) * Do we know how the Hutt was treated like a Vor? What does it mean to be treated like a Vor? That would be good info to add if it's known.
 * 94) ** Expanded. Better?
 * 95) * "the threat was weighed up" --> can you elaborate what is meant here? Will get to the final two sections soon! ~ SavageBob 19:01, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) ** Expanded. Better?
 * 97) * What is meant by "the dominant tendencies of the galaxy"? Do you mean trends, styles, that kind of thing?
 * 98) ** Yep. Modified.
 * 99) * Do the sources say how aerobats make a living? Do they daredevil fly for their own fun, or do they perform, or what?
 * 100) ** Seriously, I can't say anything else about aerobats without assuming.
 * 101) * The bit about Vortex's spaceport seems more appropriate to "Society and culture" since it doesn't deal with Vors offworld. ~ SavageBob 16:56, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 102) ** OK. Have a look now.Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:56, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) *** One last objection pending (the bit about them being birds as well as mammals and reptiles). The article is looking very, very nice. ~ SavageBob 15:56, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 104) ****Should be done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:12, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) Eyrezer:
 * 106) * Can you recrop the image of the Vor from UAA to include the Vratix? No need for it to be half cropped out like that.
 * 107) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:45, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) * Can you add more to the Biol and appearance section about the limbs/hands/feet digits, including the webbing between digits, etc?
 * 109) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) ***It looks like they only have three toes as against four fingers. Can you add something on this?
 * 111) ****Added.
 * 112) * The UAA image looks to be yellow in colour. Can you incorporate this into the article?
 * 113) **As the image contradicts other sources, that info is already under BtS. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) * "the Republic retired the initial offer to join that collective." This is not very clear. Can you reword it? --Eyrezer 08:33, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) * "but the Vors could both fly and guide with their wings". Is that meant to be glide with their wings?
 * 117) **Good catch. Changed.
 * 118) * I know your preference is to reference to more than one source, but the phrase "using their wings along with their hollow bones" has 5 sources. Can you cut out a couple of these? It seems overkill for such a short line.
 * 119) **Grumble grumble. Better?
 * 120) * I added two mentions from the Jedi Counseling series. The second one may have some info you would like to include regarding the ability to use their hands while flying... up to you. --Eyrezer 04:08, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) **Both added, although I haven't modified the image caption to say that this Vratix and this Vor were friends; I'm never sure if the JC captions are serious or not. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 122) * Is there any way you can add in something about the Goa lawah? I know there is very little on them in EGPM, but if you could work ithem in somehow, I think that would be a good idea.
 * 123) **Added.
 * 124) * In the habitat subsection, could you add the detail from the EGAS on the colours of the plain grasses? --Eyrezer 02:56, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) **Added.
 * 126) * Have you considered mentioning vors-glass? --Eyrezer 05:30, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) **Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:34, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 128) * "sometimes covering them with their own bodies,[1][2][3][4][5][8]" Way too excessive referencing.
 * 129) **Still digress, but done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:14, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) * "re-echoing, plaintive sound[1] was known as the music of the winds.[1][5]" Could this all be referenced to [1]? --Eyrezer 03:34, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 131) **Guess so. Done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:14, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Later that same year, with the war intensifying," You need to actually mention what the war is here. --Eyrezer 09:22, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 133) **Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:13, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * "[T]hey lived in underground hummocks." I learned a new word, thanks! :) ~ SavageBob 17:21, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Rianna Saren

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:22, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first-ever GA, now complete with the PSP info and (I believe) worthy of the shiny star.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good job. -- Xd 15:06, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice work, QuiGon.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 00:47, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Since you use it in the infobox, can you incorporate her approximate birth date into the bio?  CC7567  (talk) 06:10, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. Also tweaked the birth date footnote. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:08, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Stuff:
 * 4) *"Saren, however, clang on Zeeo, and they escaped from their pursuers, flying through the heavy Coruscant traffic" This is confusing. "Clang on?" Please clarify this bit.
 * 5) *"Only then did Saren discover that the Rebellion did truly exist." I'd suggest adding (if applicable) that she had heard about it before but had doubted it, or something.
 * 6) *In the beginning of "a change of heart" you start consecutive sentences with after. Please vary one of them.
 * 7) *"which were powered by three memory matrix" Should this be matrices?
 * 8) *Aside from this, very nice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:39, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not really objection worthy, but could you mention in the BTS that she received an entry in the CSWE?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem, done. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:59, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

N-K Necrosis

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 20:27, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Grievous Reloaded.

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 11:03, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:07, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- 1358  ( Talk ) 17:19, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:28, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Looks good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:14, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Almost forgot about this. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 04:38, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few quick ones...
 * 2) * The intro needs to be shortened.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * "this article assumes that the story's assumption is correct." Which story? Lord of War ' s or Galaxies?
 * 5) **Ah, thanks for catching that. Fixed.
 * 6) ***Stricken, but I had to reword it for clarity.
 * 7) * The homeworld field doesn't make sense.
 * 8) **Addressed
 * 9) * How did the study of death help him establish an advanced droid brain?
 * 10) **Lord of War doesn't really explain this concept a lot, but I fixed what was said in the creation section.
 * 11) ***The statement still seems out of place. Try to make it fit into the flow of the paragraph or remove it.
 * 12) * The creation section needs to be more focused on the droid itself and a bit less focused on Lorn and Kinesworthy.
 * 13) **Hopefully this is fixed.
 * 14) ***I'd still like to see much of the first two bio paragraphs pared down and streamlined.
 * 15) * Droids don't have P&Ts or P&As.
 * 16) **Yes, I forgot about this. Addressed.
 * 17) * Linking and grammar issues throughout.
 * 18) **Went back and gave the article another copyedit.
 * 19) * More to come, this was just from a glance at the article. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:50, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 21) * I've only skimmed the article, but here's what I've noticed so far. First, be sure to put the part about the spacers beating him within some sort of template that alerts readers that this scenario potentially goes differently. The and  templates might work; I'm not sure if there's a different one for a video game as opposed to a standard RPG. For example, a group of players who are weakened from other battles might not easily get past the B-1 battle droid, and some players may have missed the loot or simply decided not to take it. Unless the Peña article establishes canonically that things went down like this. Is that the case?
 * 22) **Actually, it seems that you're not familiar with Galaxies. That specific battle droid is only an NPC that you talk to. Everyone basically can "get through with ease". But the tags have been added for those who haven't played Galaxies.
 * 23) * Second, I'd remove the "unidentified" part of the description of the spacers that beat the droid. It should be enough just to call them spacers.
 * 24) **Addressed
 * 25) * I don't think you need to set aside one-paragraph sections with subheads (such as "inconsistencies"). Readers will figure out you're talking about a new topic by the paragraph break alone. I'll get have some more comments later. Hope these help! ~ SavageBob 17:49, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Addressed, and thanks. :)
 * 27) Return of the Sith Empire
 * 28) * In the intro, I don't think Merili's important enough to be mentioned. If you insist on keeping her, give her context and link her.
 * 29) **Hope this helps.
 * 30) * "Doctor Nycolai Kinesworthy, also a cybernetic scientist," - when you say also, that implies that either someone else is a cyberneticist too, or that he is something else in addition to being a cybernetic scientist. The article is unclear. Usually I would fix this myself, but there are several instances of strange wording and unneccesary word usage throughout the article I would like you to catch for yourself.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * "which contained the dust collecting droid body of General Grievous." - another example of silly diction. These, along with syntax errors and the like, need a lot of work.
 * 33) **Addressed
 * 34) * "The droids, whom served as Necrosis' bodyguards, taught the newly reanimated Grievous how..." - calling it the newly reanimated Grievous implies that is IS Grievous resurrected.
 * 35) **Addressed
 * 36) * Zannah doesn't need a mention in the intro.
 * 37) **Addressed
 * 38) * What led the spacers to destroy Necrosis? You need to explain that in the intro.
 * 39) *This is all from the intro. I'll come back and work through "Creation" soon. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:03, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) As I explained repeatedly in our IRC discussion, you have serious issues in your interpretation of the differences between LoW and Galaxies. The contradiction that you claim exists simply doesn't, and it looks to me like its rooted in your unwillingness to make major changes to the article. I'll say it one last time: LoW appears to give an abbreviated account of the droid's destruction, while Galaxies, being the primary source, shows all the events in detail. It's not a contradiction, but rather different ways of telling a story. This issue will remain as an objection until you either satisfactorily PROVE that the absence from LoW is an intended difference or you address the problem and add the Galaxies information to your article.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 04:49, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * For now, work on fixing the choppiness of your sentences and transitioning. It seems like a listing of events as it stands now. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 07:39, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) The template mentions that there are alternate paths present in the BTS. I'm assuming that the player can choose to skip N-K. However, I'm not sure if/in what form this info merits inclusion, so when you see me in IRC, PM me and we can discuss this.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) Another: You need to mention the Kaleesh earlier, because otherwise, this sentence makes no sense, as it lacks context. "It was rumored that Necrosis' armorplast mask had been bought by a high-ranking Imperial Admiral who displayed it as a Kaleesh work of art."  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 02:36, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) *I actually removed that bit, as it was slightly confusing.  JangFett  (Talk) 07:23, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) Quote is a thought, which is incompatible with our Manual of Style. jSarek 03:12, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *Thanks for catching that, jSarek.  JangFett  (Talk) 03:15, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) **Are there any suitable quotes from Galaxies that would make for a good replacement? jSarek 03:37, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Other than indirect Necrosis related quotes said by Kinesworthy, there's nothing much.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:41, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ****Note that article quotes can be "by or about the subject" (emphasis mine), so if Kinesworthy's quotes illuminate Necrosis in some way, they're appropriate. jSarek 22:01, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *****I found some possibly suitable dialog, and have added it to Necrosis' talk page for you to look at. jSarek 00:25, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) ******Yeah, I do remember that quote. It looks good, and I can also check if it's correct later this month in Galaxies.  JangFett  (Talk) 03:51, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 53) * "They also looted the corpses&hellip;" Can droids have corpses?
 * 54) **Addressed
 * 55) * "Necrosis became as worthy of an adversary as the former host of his body&hellip;" That implies he was worthy of having an adversary, not that he was a worthy adversary. Regardless, being a worthy adversary seems a little POV. Can you reword this? Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:38, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **Reworded it slightly, tell me what you think. Thanks for the review, GT. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 16:45, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) Toprawa:
 * 58) * This wording from the second sentence of the intro is practically verbatim from what you just said in the first sentence. Please find a different way to word this to avoid the redundancy: "to create a highly advanced battle droid"
 * 59) **Addressed
 * 60) * Can we use a different word other than "controller?" It's just very unspecific: "There, the project was presented to the planet's controller"
 * 61) **Addressed
 * 62) * For what purpose is he rounding these droids up? The intro states it is so they can be used as bodyguards for the droid project. Please specify: "After Lorn hired the assassin droid IG-72 to round up two outdated IG-100 MagnaGuards"
 * 63) **Addressed
 * 64) * Can we supplement this in any way? "It was rumored" is very generic. Can we say where it was rumored? Among who or what the rumor circulated? "It was rumored that Necrosis's armorplast mask had been bought by a high-ranking Imperial admiral."
 * 65) **Hopefully this works out.
 * 66) * Better how? Can we elaborate on this any? "though Kinesworthy assured Necrosis that he was better."
 * 67) **Addressed
 * 68) * This sentence doesn't make sense. How is Necrosis being more powerful than the guards at all related to their both favoring melee combat? "Both Necrosis and his NK-3 guards favored melee combat over ranged, although Necrosis was more powerful than his NK-3 droids." Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:56, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **This sentence is from Galaxies, but I removed it to avoid confusion. Thanks for the review, Tope. :)

Comments
 * Not really an objection, just asking: can this image be included in the article at all? Kreivi Wolter 21:51, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

Eurrsk Thri'ag

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 23:35, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The product of over six months worth of procastination

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 23:42, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) *Not an objection, but please remember to use Ref tags in the infobox.
 * 3) **Got it. ToRsO bOy 23:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * The bio basically comes out of nowhere with no background of him prior to his applying for Wraith Squadron. Please do something to satisfy this.
 * 5) **There's not a single mention of his life before he joined the Wraiths. I thought of adding how his career was in jeopardy because of the pranks but it seemed like speculation. ToRsO bOy 23:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I meant things like his species and occupation (kind of) as a slicer, which you do fine in the intro but don't do in the body.  CC7567  (talk) 03:50, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Got it. Added. ToRsO bOy 22:44, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Can you replace a few of the multiple usages of "try out" with something less colloquial?
 * 9) **Changed. ToRsO bOy 23:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *Please watch your linking, as I'm currently finding it to be a little lacking. I'll continue with "Night Caller charade" soon once these are fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 06:49, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks. Added more links. ToRsO bOy 23:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Can his "Grinder" nickname be implemented at all in the main biography? It's definitely relevant.
 * 13) **Just to clarify, when you say implement, do you mean add a small mention or refer to him as Grinder throughout the body? ToRsO bOy 22:44, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***I meant the first one; surnames always take precedence over all other names when it comes to formality, which is what encyclopedic entries use.  CC7567  (talk) 00:54, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Added ToRsO bOy 22:53, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Please limit the use of "offered" in the first paragraph of Night Caller charade.
 * 17) **Reworded. ToRsO bOy 22:44, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Is it Night Caller or the Night Caller? Please check and be consistent throughout the entire article.
 * 19) **Done ToRsO bOy 22:53, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * "By nightfall, the Wraiths infiltrated": the verb tense isn't matching the preposition; it needs to be either "By nightfall, the Wraiths had infiltrated" or "After <or some other preposition> nightfall, the Wraiths infiltrated&hellip;" I'm noticing this tense issue to be a prominent problem throughout the article, so I'd recommend that you take another look at it to check for this.
 * 21) **Is there a specific grammar rule that I kept breaking? I'd be grateful if you could specify it for me so I could go and look it up. ToRsO bOy 22:44, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***It's not a grammar rule per say, but one of chronology; if the preposition indicates something along the lines of "by" or anything that takes place before the actual focus of the sentence/prose, the verb tense needs to reflect that. It's a little challenging for me to explain it; if there turn out to be more problems with this, let me know and I'll help you through it.  CC7567  (talk) 00:54, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****I appreciate the offer. Thanks. I'm reading up on prepositions and feel free to point others that I missed. Objection fixed by the way. ToRsO bOy 22:53, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *" Thri'ag stayed behind when Night Caller jumped out of the system, and was delivered by New Republic Intelligence agents into the mining corporation's headquarters in order to search for property transfers." I'm nitpicking here, but there are several problems here that are interrupting the flow of the sentence. First off, did Thri'ag stay behind while the Night Caller jumped out of the system? If so, that needs to be said. Secondly, I'm not quite sure if you're saying that Thri'ag was the one who was "delivered by New Republic Intelligence agents" or if it was the Night Caller itself; please try to make this more clear.
 * 25) **Reworded ToRsO bOy 22:44, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) * " Night Caller was about to dock on the given coordinates": the preposition you use here isn't really the appropriate one; it's rather awkwardly phrased. The best one to use would normally be "about to dock at the given coordinates" or "about to dock to the given coordinates," but as I'm unsure which one is factually correct, I'll leave you to choose which one to utilize.
 * 27) **Chose "at" ToRsO bOy 22:53, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) *I'll continue with "Mission to Storinal" once these are fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 04:31, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Can the details for Loran's investigations into Thri'ag's pranks be shortened? They aren't directly relevant to him, and while they are interesting, I don't believe that they are entirely necessary.
 * 30) **Shortened. ToRsO bOy 21:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Now it's unclear whether or not they actually knew if Thri'ag was the prankster. This needs to be clarified, even if the details behind it aren't mentioned. Adding something brief like "they deduced that Thri'ag was the prankster" will solve this.  CC7567  (talk) 22:40, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Revised. ToRsO bOy 17:35, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * "After their rendezvous with Hawkbat, Night Caller joined Implacable ": the pronoun plurality isn't really matching up to the subject; please check this. If I'm interpreting it wrong somehow, please clarify.
 * 34) **Revised ToRsO bOy 21:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * Have the battles of Talasea and Ession been officially named or not? I'm getting confused as to whether they have been because there are so many inconsistent capitalizations of them throughout the article. If they have been named by an official source, then the article needs to reflect this with consistent capitalization, and if they haven't, the article cannot use them as such.
 * 36) **I'm afraid I don't follow on the inconsistent capitalization. Do you mean the actual term Battle of Talasea/Ession? I believe Ession is mentioned but I need to double check on Talasea. ToRsO bOy 21:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ***Yes. In one quote caption, the Battle of Ession is capitalized, while the later "battles of Talasea and Ession" is not. Humor me, if you will, but please try to check to see if either of them are officially named.  CC7567  (talk) 22:40, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) ****Just to clarify, this still remains.  CC7567  (talk) 05:17, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *****I just got a reply from Cylka. Battle of Ession is listed under Ession in the CSWE. But the battle of Talasaea is not. Should it still be capitalized for Ession? ToRsO bOy 09:13, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ******If it's officially named, yes, the Battle of Ession should be capitalized wherever you use it. If the "battle of Talasea" term isn't used anywhere at all, then it shouldn't be used in the article; perhaps replace it with "battle at Talasea" when you refer to it. Just a note: since you refer to the "battles of Ession and Talasea," you can just say "battles at Ession and Talasea."  CC7567  (talk) 22:17, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) *******Fixed. Just a sidenote though for future articles, if the title of a battle is conjectural, then its still not capitalized, correct? ToRsO bOy 07:32, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) ********Yes, you are correct, although admittedly, the wiki isn't extremely consistent with this issue.  CC7567  (talk) 08:14, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * His designation of Wraith Four needs to be mentioned a lot earlier in the Bio rather than all the way down in the Legacy section.
 * 44) **Mentioned ToRsO bOy 21:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * "Thri'ag was a bit arrogant concerning his abilities, especially when his slicing skills were needed in crucial times." How so? Examples, maybe?
 * 46) **I didn't put in a specific scenario, as it would be too out of place and boring. ToRsO bOy 21:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Can the P&T be expanded at all? Try to look at the reasons behind his actions and see if that brings anything to light.
 * 48) **Expanded. ToRsO bOy 17:35, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *I'll go through the article a second time with you to make sure that everything's in good shape, but good job otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 03:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) **Much thanks for being the first one to dive in. ToRsO bOy 17:35, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * Can the infobox include a place of death?
 * 52) **I added Battle of Ession, since if I just added Ession that would imply he died on the planet. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ***While I understand the dilemma, adding an event instead of a location isn't very accurate either. Was it "over Ession"? Perhaps you can say that to be clear. If it comes down to listing the place of death as the Lucaya system (in which Ession is apparently located), then that's fine too&mdash;a specific location is better than an event, which really isn't a clear indication to a location.  CC7567  (talk) 18:50, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Changed. ToRsO bOy 20:51, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Can you try to indicate the timeline from the very beginning of the intro (i.e. the first sentence)? Saying something like "during the Galactic Civil War" might help. Currently, it isn't clarified when he "was on the verge of washing out from the New Republic armed forces."
 * 56) **Added on both intro and body. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * "Shortly after receiving the squadron's official name of Wraith Squadron [...] Antilles announced": I'm a little confused with the wording here, as it's rather awkward. How exactly did Antilles "receive" the squadron's official name? Please clarify.
 * 58) **Changed to approved. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "What he discovered was a small outdated durasteel foundry transferred to an alias of Zsinj." This isn't quite clear. Do you mean that he discovered a foundry that had been transferred to an alias of Zsinj?
 * 60) **Fixed. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * "were assigned to guard the pirates who surrendered": just to clarify (this may already be factually correct but I want to confirm that you're saying what you want to say), what you're implying here is that all of the pirates surrendered, as opposed to some of them, which would have been expressed by the tense "the pirates who had surrendered." Please check and clarify this; humor me, if you will.
 * 62) **The book didn't imply any pirates who refused to surrender and carried on fighting, so it's the first one. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * "This proved true when Thri'ag easily sliced into the institute's records": while there's nothing extremely incorrect with this sentence, the usage of "easily" implies that that's the focus of the sentence, as opposed to the fact that Thri'ag would be useful on the trip, which I know is what you're trying to clarify. I would recommend adjusting the wording to something like "This proved true when Thri'ag gained access to a necessary asset [or something with more accurate word choice] by slicing into the institute's records&mdash;with ease&mdash;and providing the group with floor plan schematics."
 * 64) **Added. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) * The incident with the glass prowler is the first of Thri'ag's pranks you mention, yet you imply that this was not the first prank to befall the squadron. Can this be clarified?
 * 66) **I did thought about mentioning some of his earlier pranks, but they all seemed to disrupt the flow of the article. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ***I understand the issue, but it would be good to at least mention his pranks somehow (or provide a brief run-down of them, like saying "By this time, Thri'ag had started to plague the squadron with pranks" right before you introduce the glass prowler incident) instead of jumping out of nowhere with the glass prowler, as you do now.  CC7567  (talk) 18:50, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Great idea. Added. ToRsO bOy 20:51, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) * Can you make sure that you somehow link all the quote captions back to Thri'ag? The Legacy quote in particular is the one I'm concerned with, as it seems like a quote without any direct relevancy to Thri'ag. As long as he's mentioned somewhere in the caption (not necessarily in the quote itself), it should be fine.
 * 70) **Mentioned. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) * "that granted him complete access": to what, specifically?
 * 72) **Reworded. ToRsO bOy 08:54, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *That's it from me.  CC7567  (talk) 06:51, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Am I correct in assuming that we don't know how he got his nickname "Grinder"?  CC7567  (talk) 22:59, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * That's right. ToRsO bOy 23:02, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Omwati

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Exotic, cute alien species. Like Qwi Xux. Remember Qwi? Wedge's girlfriend from the 1990s? Oh, don't you read the classics anymore? ·:P

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Won't object till I'm blue in the face. ~ SavageBob 22:10, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Pasta noodle-by: There are far, far, far too many one sentence quasi-paragraphs. Please lace these together as best as possible into something cohesive. It seems that many could be easily related without getting into conjecture, OR, or other nasty things. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:49, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:05, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 4) * "Omwati children had specially receptive minds that could be strengthened with the proper training." How is this different from any other sapient species?
 * 5) **It's to a greater extent. Added.
 * 6) * "they even developed their own Force tradition." Can you say what it is in the lead?
 * 7) **OS doesn't say much about that. Added what I could.
 * 8) * Is there a reason that centimeters are used for their height? Most alien species articles use meters.
 * 9) **Changed.
 * 10) * I'm not sure it's necessary to compare their lifespan to a human's; it should be enough to say that they are mature at this age and can expect to live at that age. Is there any more information on their life cycle? When do they begin adolescence, for instance?
 * 11) **Changed.
 * 12) * No BTS info from Alien Anthology or Ultimate Alien Anthology (or the WEG stuff)? How do the RPGs distinguish the Omwati from other species? Do they get any special abilities or deficits?
 * 13) **I tried to include the info in the body but, as this was explictly asked: Added.
 * 14) * Otherwise needs a copy edit, but then it'll be good. I'll see what I can do in the next few days. Good work! ~ SavageBob 22:05, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you for the review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Just a bit more: What does it mean for their hair to be "opal-irised"?
 * 17) **Typo. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * What does it mean that a young Omwati's mind can be "broken"? Does he or she go crazy?
 * 19) **OS doesn't offer a thorough diagnosis, but detailed as a medical collpase.
 * 20) * "tonally strange" -- from who's perspective? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) **The narrator of a RPG book: "An elegant language with a number of odd tonal inflections.", UAA, p117. Nonetheless, changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * I'll copy edit "History" soon and then will be happy to support! ~ SavageBob 00:32, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *** One last thing: The article says that Tarkin took several hundred bright young Omwati, but then we're told he only had 10. What happened to all the others? ~ SavageBob 18:25, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ****No: He recruited hundreds, and took ten of them to that particular class. Added more detailed info on what happened to the others, trying hard not to OR. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:52, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Gelesi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:22, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I have to at least try this one once more.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) You need to add the fact that he received an entry in the CSWE, in the BTS.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:43, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:17, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) '''Getting my foot back in the door&hellip;"
 * 4) * There has to be a better descriptor for Iziz than "a major city on Onderon." It's the only city on Onderon, for starters.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * No time frame is given for Gelesi in the intro.
 * 7) **Added.
 * 8) * There are no specifications of rank for Sullio and Gelesi in the intro despite the game dialogue being pretty obvious about it all.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * Specification that it was the entire planet's allegiance in question in the intro is required.
 * 11) **Implanted.
 * 12) ***Not really, it still reads as though the people themselves want to be loyal or secede; not for the planet itself. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ****How about now? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * The "Battle of Onderon" should be a pipelink; the game doesn't outright call it that.
 * 15) **Re-linked. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Actually, there's no link, and I think there should be one. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *Get back to me soon! Graestan ( Talk ) 14:58, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) Pure fluff: "An in-game system that keeps track of the players responses, if the player chooses kinder options the player earns light side "points," if the player chooses aggressive or otherwise cruel actions the player earns dark side "points" and more neutral expressions earn no points either way."  Graestan ( Talk ) 01:25, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *Sorry, remnant from the last draft. Removed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:36, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Same reason as Gelesi

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Needs info from Star Wars Purge: Seconds to Die.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:59, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:34, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Image for the prelude? Kreivi Wolter 10:04, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Added one of Anakin and Palpy at the opera. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:40, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I tweaked with the images a bit; hope you don't mind. -- 1358  (Talk) 18:54, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not at all. I'm terrible with images. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:30, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Celchu Trial

 * Nominated by:--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 23:29, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:I wish to know if this is good enough for you as it is for us in Finnish Jedipedia.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) It looks good form my eyes. Hyvää (t)yötä : ) Kreivi Wolter 09:14, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master's first look
 * 2) * At first glance, there is a substantial amount of underlinking.
 * 3) **Any better now? I'm not too sure what you mean by underlinking. Care to advice?
 * 4) ***"Underlinking" means that you do not have everything linked; an article should be linked once on its first mention in the intro and once on its first mention in the body. Anyway, this is much better, although there are still some missing, extra, and incorrectly placed links. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:40, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Happy now? I have hard time finding more things to link but if there is still something, let me know.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:32, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I am also seeing several grammar problems.
 * 7) **Any better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:30, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:56, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Cylka's first look:
 * 10) * I think that the infobox should be expanded. The infobox is there to give readers the basic facts about the event without the need to read the article. In the conflict section you can state the purpose of the trial- Celchu on trial for treason and Horn's murder. You could also fill in the the important participants. The key section is for the involved affiliations.
 * 11) **Added something to each section. I don't know if I should add the Empire to affiliations part since they were manufacturing some of the evidence, but were not directly connected to the case.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 16:12, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * A little context is needed as to why someone had to fly to Coruscant and scout the planet.
 * 13) **I don't know if that is ever stated why Celchu was sent there. There is nothing of why in X-wing-series or The New Essential Chronology, they say he volunteered for the mission, but there is no info about why the mission was needed.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 15:44, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * where he spent three months before he finally escaped and returned to the Rebels - Who are these Rebels? This word was linked to the Alliance to Restore the Republic, but at this point in time, it didn't exist any longer in that form.
 * 15) **I accuse Celchu for that since he is speaking about "Alliance" in Wedge's Gamble when recounting the events. Fixed.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 16:12, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Celchu was considered to be too untrustworthy to participate in planning or preparation. - Who considered him untrustworthy?
 * 17) **That sentence was written in passive to awoid stating presisely who thought Celchu to be untrusthworthy. It is already stated that at least Ackbar and Salm were not ready to trust him entirely. In Wedge's Gamble Corran Horn thinks that "they" (who ever "they" are) did not trust Celchu enough to allow him to participate. I fixed it but...--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:04, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * In the intro you state that Emtrey was the squadron's protocol droid, but not in the article body.
 * 19) **Fixed.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:59, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * During his time on Coruscant Celchu met with Duros weapons dealer Lai Nootka in The Headquarters cantina. Corran Horn happened to see one meeting but thought that the tall, cloaked stranger was Imperial Intelligence agent Kirtan Loor. Horn told Antilles what he had seen, but the commander answered that it was impossible, since the report said that Celchu was among the casualties from Warlord Zsinj's attack on Noquivzor. In truth, Antilles was aware that Celchu was alive and on Coruscant, but he didn't believe Celchu had met Loor. - This doesn't quite make sense. The first sentence states that Horn thought the cloaked person was Loor and the next sentence talks about Celchu being reported as dead. The third sentence is written as if Horn had told Antilles that Celchu had been the cloaked stranger. Please clear this up.
 * 21) **I think it makes better sense now. Try it.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 18:11, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * After Horn found out that Celchu was alive, he filed a report concerning the meeting he had witnessed in the cantina. He also mentioned that he had not seen the stranger's face, but based on its height and gait, he had positively identified it as Loor. - What did this have to do with Horn finding out that Celchu was alive?
 * 23) **Nothing but it had everything to do with that report Horn filed. Fixed.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 16:12, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * Both attorneys later used this calm reaction to prove their point in the court. - This sentence doesn't really belong here since you are introducing the trial at this point, but it isn't the appropriate time for the trial. Please move this to the trial section.
 * 25) **Try it now when it is moved to the paragraph about Pash Cracken's testimony.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:46, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) * After the battle to take down the shield - Is there an article for this battle? If not, then a redlink, stub, etc should be created for it.
 * 27) **There already is a link to the First Battle of Coruscant, they took the shield down as a part of that wider battle.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:13, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * All this made Celchu look highly suspicious to the New Republic, and only four days later, he was captured and charged with high treason and murder. - I'm not exactly sure what made Celchu look guilty. It may be because the information in the previous two paragraphs concerning Loor, Horn's report, and Celchu being alive/dead is unclear. Please look over this again.
 * 29) **"All this" was supposed to mean practically everything under the title: "Background". Changed to be more accurate.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:59, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * When General Airen Cracken revealed that he had known all along that Celchu was innocent, - How could he have known this?
 * 31) **After reorganizing the paragraphs it now says earlier that Cracken knew it from Emtrey. Or does it still need work?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:46, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * During his time among Imperials, Madine had also likely met Ysanne Isard - Does this have any bearing on the case? If not, then it doesn't need to be included.
 * 33) **Not really, but Madine in the whole doesn't have any substantial role in the whole thing. Everything about Madine is related to Ven's opinions of him and that is relevant to what Ven thinks of Madine in relation to the case.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:23, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * In my opinion, I think that the trial section would read better if you placed the Defense first, Prosecution second and Judges third. This way, Ven's thoughts about the judges will make sense. Otherwise, the reader is not sure who Ven is.
 * 35) **Better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 15:30, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * Alright, in the Tribunal section the thoughts of the various individuals involved are misplaced and shouldn't be there. You are stating their thoughts about events that you you haven't yet introduced to the reader, for example "When Ettyk heard that Kirtan Loor was willing to testify in Celchu's behalf, she was ready to admit that Celchu was innocent, and after Horn gave his testimony, she was quick to remove all charges against Celchu." This is all very confusing. These thoughts should be placed in the relevant section, not when a character is first introduced. I would suggest paring down the tribunal section to a straightforward introduction of the individuals involved. However, I would leave in any thoughts that they had about the judges since that is pertinent to this section.
 * 37) **Did that change of order help any?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 15:30, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * Wessiri was not present when Celchu was found innocent, since she had been escorting Kirtan Loor to testify when her husband Diric had attacked her, Ven, and Loor under Isard's brainwashing. After Ven was injured and Loor shot to death Wessiri shot back and wounded the attacker mortally, only afterward realizing that it was her husband. This shock prevented her from coming to the final hearing. - This is another example of what I had just pointed out. You are speaking of events that have not yet happened, and this is confusing.
 * 39) **See if the change of order helped this?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:23, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) *I'm going to stop my review here in order to give you time to make sure that statements and comments are placed in the appropriate sections. The best way to do this is to ask yourself if a particular statement is relevant to what you are currently writing about. If not, then it needs to be moved. This will probably mean that things will get shuffled around. I must say that you did a great job in fixing up the grammar and wording issues from long ago. I am finding very little fault with the sentences themselves, just their placement. Please take care of these objections and I'll continue my review. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 14:48, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) Use proper ref tags in the infobox. --  1358  (Talk) 15:39, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *Done. (I think...)--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 16:01, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **I would have done it myself, but you edit conflicted me. :P -- 1358  (Talk) 16:05, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) Cylka's second look:
 * 45) *Good job with the infoxbox. Furthermore, I think that it would be a good idea to subdivide the participants into Defense, Prosecution, Judges, and Witnesses. If some individuals fit into more than one category, place in the one one that was more primary. For example, Iella Wessiri would fit better in the prosecution. I also think that you could add in Rogue Squadron under the Affiliations, since it heavily involved them.
 * 46) **Done.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 07:48, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *after a failed attempt to sabotage Coruscant's planetary shields - I believe that "failed attempt" would be a good place to link to that Battle of Coruscant. I would have done so myself, but I'm not entirely familiar with that era and I didn't want to link to the wrong battle.
 * 48) **That would more likely need its own article since that first attempt to bring down the shield isn't even mentioned in the article of the First Battle of Coruscant (Galactic Civil War). I just don't know what to call it.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 07:48, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***Problem solved with two stubs. I'm rather surprised that I couldn't find an article about Celchu's first trip to Coruscant when he got captured.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 18:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *When introducing characters and ships, etc for the first time, it is a good idea to give them a bit of context. For example: I would write Executor-class Star Dreadnought Lusankya, a private prison. Further, I would add that Ackbar was Supreme Commander and who exactly Salm was when they are introduced. The reader then understands why these individuals had authority. Please go through and make sure that this is done throughout the article with all of the characters.
 * 51) **I would prefer not to introduce Lusankya as a ship in the Background part since no one but Isard knew it was a super star destroyer and that it was hidden in Coruscant.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) *Most accusations of treason were traced back to his time in the Lusankya prison and the possibility of brainwashing. - This sentence doesn't read very well. Please rewrite it. Also, in the next sentence I replaced "aggravating" with "incriminating," if that is alright. I believe that word works better.
 * 53) **Is it better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) *In the Interrogating the witnesses section please use the first names of the Crackens since both Pash and Airen are mentioned. It is confusing to the reader otherwise. Also, this goes along with my earlier objection in that add in who Pash and Airen were.
 * 55) **Done. But I'm still not sure if it was necessary, since I call Airen "General Cracken" to separate him from (Pash) "Cracken".--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) *Cracken tried to give his testimony in a way that was favourable to Celchu but Ettyk was allowed to interrogate him as a hostile witness making it difficult. - What was made difficult?
 * 57) **Reading that sentence, possibly since even I'm not sure what I'm saying. It should be better now.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *Since Ettyk was not able to bring out the things Horn had told to Dlarit, Ven was able to point out that Horn had spoken with others before his meeting with Dlarit. That rendered Dlarit almost useless as a witness - I'm not sure how Horn speaking with others before Dlarit made her useless as a witness. Please clarify this.
 * 59) **Fixed, and Dlarit is no longer completely "useless".--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) *forced Admiral Ackbar postpone the trial even further. While Ven was away, Whistler and Emtrey stayed on Coruscant to collect and process evidence that they would use in court. - This is another example of what I had mentioned before. the reader needs to know why Ackbar could postpone the trial (he was the chairman) and why were Emtry and Whistler involved with the evidence.
 * 61) **Great... Now you complain about the reader not knowing the characters mentioned after you made me move that introduction part to the bottom of the whole thing... Don't worry, I'll fix it but I had to point this out.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 21:12, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ***It is unfortunate that more work has been created for you, however, I am only trying to ensure that the article is appealing and understandable to our readers. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:30, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****I was trying to be sarcastic but I was rather tired when I wrote that comment. But now I have given more context for most of the people. Was that enough?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *****I believe she was aware that you were being sarcastic and merely chose to ignore it, taking the high road instead.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:41, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) *Isard decided to send her brainwashed puppet, Diric Wessiri, to stop Derricote - This is fine, but the next sentence talks about Diric shooting at Ven, Loor, and Iela without any mention of Derricote. Please connect these two sentences a bit more.
 * 66) **Better now? I usually try not to overuse the dash but it does have its uses sometimes...--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 08:46, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) *Horn's return and his simultaneous testimony with Antilles about the identity of the true traitor - What simultaneous testimony? How did Wedge know who the traitor was?
 * 68) **Is it any clearer now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) *I'm not sure that the third paragraph of the Defense section is needed. It doesn't have much bearing on the trial itself, which the main focus of the article. Most of the sentiments of the people involved have already been stated earlier, and introducing Winter complicates things a bit.
 * 70) **Removed but I reformed some bits of it to be the new first paragraph of the section. And Winter got completely removed.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) *Wessiri was not present when Celchu was found innocent, since she had been escorting Kirtan Loor to testify when her husband Diric had attacked her, Ven, and Loor under Isard's brainwashing. After Ven was injured and Loor shot to death Wessiri shot back and wounded the attacker mortally, only afterward realizing that it was her husband. This shock prevented her from coming to the final hearing. - This is essentially repeating what was already stated earlier. I would pare this down to only say that Wessiri was in schock from woundeing her husband and therefore, wasn't present.
 * 72) **Better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *Context is needed for Fliry Vorru.
 * 74) **Is that enough?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) *While the New Republic labeled Corran Horn as a hero of the conquering of Corucant, - This statement is fine, but the reader is not sure of what has happened. The beginning of the article talks about Celchu needing to scout out Coruscant and now it has been conquered. In order to solve this I think that at the beginning of the article you should fit in that Coruscant is under Imperial control, and then fit in somewhere that by the time of the trial, Coruscant is liberated. I know that you mention the first battle of Coruscant, but many readers will not know the specifics of that battle.
 * 76) **Any better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) *Please go through the article to make sure that everything is linked correctly since the article sections have been shuffled around.
 * 78) **Should be done now.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) *You have done a good job with rearranging the article sections and I feel that it reads much better now. Please take care of these of these objections and I'll look at it again. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:00, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 80) **Thanks. Happy to work with you.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:02, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) Question: Can you use a picture of a younger Corran? Him bearded and in Jedi robes is a bit out-of-place. Menkooroo 05:07, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 82) *How so? He was wearing green jedi robes (taken from Galactic Museum during his escape) and hadn't shaved for a while when he arrived to the court room.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 17:52, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) **I have to correct myself: Horn was wearing "pale" jedi robe, not green. But jedi robe none the less. Do you still want me to change it?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 18:54, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) ***What I meant was that that's a picture of Horn from twenty years later. Could you go with a picture of him from roughly the time period of the trial? Menkooroo 01:32, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Why everyone is ignoring my nom?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 22:43, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Have patience. Sometimes it can take few months before people even bother to read the article. Trust me, the users will find this eventually : ) Kreivi Wolter 14:08, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * While we have yet to develop a standard format for articles of this type, I'd suggest looking at this article to get an idea of a legal trial article's layout. I am completely unfamiliar with the source material for the Celchu Trial, but I trust that you can incorporate some of what you find in my example to help your article along its FAN path. —Tommy 9281 01:04, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Hidden Ones

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally, the long-awaited conclusion to JujiggumProject: the Hidden Ones has arrived! <insert maniacal laughter here>

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:31, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 03:13, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:26, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Floydle:
 * 2) * "otherwise they would risk exposing the existence of the sect to the galaxy—and such exposure would negate the sect's goal. " How? Also, I would likely you to split that sentence into two parts; it would work better that way and wouldn't mess up the flow.
 * 3) **Split up and explained. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Intro: Why did the Skywalkers begin sowing dissent among the Hidden Ones? Clarify.
 * 5) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Is there an article for the battle between Ziil and Luke? If so, please link it.
 * 7) **You'll find it's already linked sufficiently. Once in the intro: "This enraged Ziil, who confronted the elder Skywalker" and once in the body: "Ziil, deeply angered by the unrest, attacked Luke". I'll get to the rest asap. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:51, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Whoops. Guess I missed it.
 * 9) *That's it.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 23:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Thanks for the review, Floyd! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) At least it'll be the last :P
 * 12) * "restoring their will to be live": could you check this? "Live" isn't an adjective.
 * 13) **Bah, should just be "to live." Fixed.
 * 14) * Can you clarify Ziil's rise to the Hidden One earlier (and directly) instead of leaving it unexplained and revealing it later in the body? Could you also mention the members by 43.5 ABY before you start talking about the Skywalkers, as it's a bit more chronological and proper that way?
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Last one: does the singular "Hidden One" exist, as part of the sect (not the leader)? If it does, then the article needs to be moved there, per the naming policy. If not, don't bother. A very good read otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Checked through Outcast, and couldn't find any place where it was used in that capacity. Thanks, and thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:10, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Armitage

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:42, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A guest nom for WP:AMB. I'm giving you all a break before I do a TCW spree.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:51, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:55, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 04:17, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Per MOS, thoughts are not quotes. Thus, you'll have to change your quote for P&T. Otherwise, very nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:56, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Aw, nuts. It's been removed, but there are no other relevant quotes. Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 07:11, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) I know that you state in the article that his first and only appearance was in Death Troopers, but shouldn't you still add the "" thing to the Appearances section? <font color="Indigo">Duchess Jade  Republic Emblem.svg <font color="Indigo">(Completely Coruscanti) 00:36, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I don't think its necessary, as there's only the one appearance, but I've added it just in case. Thanks for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 02:44, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * No relevant images available. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:44, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Jedi Tower

 * Nominated by:  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  09:28, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I make a return to the FAN after too long with this, the Jedi academy of Taris. It actually turned out to be quite an interesting article to write and hopefully it will be the same to read.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Great work, Nayayen.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:28, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) A few for you&hellip;
 * 2) * Intro: I would like to see the Neo-Crusaders mentioned in the intro.
 * 3) **Added, I've also mentioned them in main body.
 * 4) * Intro: Gadon Thek and context on him should be mentioned in the intro, where it says that Gryph arrived to evacuate Carrick and Jelavan.
 * 5) **Added, I haven't mentioned the Hidden Beks though, it doesn't seem necessary.
 * 6) * Early teaching: Now that John Jackson Miller has established for sure that Squinquargesimus was not a part of Malak's name, I feel you should take the surname out.
 * 7) **Removed.
 * 8) * Early teaching: For Revan, you might want to mention that he was Alek's "honorary" Master, since that is what the handbook says. Also, please capatalize "Master".
 * 9) **Done, I've checked all other instances of Master for capitalization.
 * 10) * In Mandalorian hands: I think you should mention that Griff Vao was Mission's older brother.
 * 11) **Done, I had to tweak those two sentences a bit so that it flows well.
 * 12) *Great job, Nayayen. When this passes, will this article be the first on building to pass the FAs?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:43, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Kasra. I can count at least 6 building FAs, one of which is a Jedi academy so this isn't even the first one of those FAd.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  10:42, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Cool.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) And one more thing&hellip;
 * 16) * You might want to source Alek's name to #10 or the Handbook, because in #0 he merely introduced himself as "Squint". I would think you only need to source the name to this on this one mention.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Got it.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  08:45, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I've changed the two quotes involving just two speakers from some form of to  per Tranner's comment below for Luuke.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:36, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Suu

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 21:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: There is no better pun than "Made you Luuke." I refuse to try.

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great job. &mdash;<Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman 15:15, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:13, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 05:38, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) See my comment below. -- 1358  (Talk) 04:35, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:01, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * "While he was away, the war came to Saleucami when the Republic's hunt for&hellip;" Somewhat nit-picky, but you use to separate relative timing devices here: "while he was away" and "when the Republic's hunt;" leading to some confusing as to the overall chronology.
 * 3) **I tweaked it a bit. Give it a look and let me know what you think.
 * 4) * Please specify in the bio that Rex was planning to report Cut's defection. As is, you don't really say so until Suu asks whether or not Rex still intends to report Cut.
 * 5) **Specfied.
 * 6) * How exactly was Suu "strong?" (i.e. do you mean "physically strong?")
 * 7) **Specified.
 * 8) *Well done. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:19, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:08, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * There are a few instances where I refer to "Cut" instead of "Lawquane" or some fitting pronoun. This is because if I were to use "He," "the trooper," or "the human," it could also be in reference to Rex, and if I were to constantly use "Lawquane," you would want to gouge your own eyes out before getting to the P&T. For the most part, I don't use his first name without first using his surname elsewhere in the sentence, so it's not horribly unencyclopedic, and far more condusive for the purposes of clarity and non-repitition. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 21:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure if her era can be referenced to the episode. Several other TCW FAs and GAs use The Clone Wars novelization as a source for the era, as it also provides the year. -- 1358  (Talk) 16:12, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Modon Kira

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:55, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Already a GA.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- 1358  (Talk) 13:15, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy  9281 12:37, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments

ZeHethbra

 * Nominated by: --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:47, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Do you remember Clyngunn? From Zahn's Thrawn Thrwilogy books? Doesn't ring a bell? Oh, well, nonetheless we at WP:AS need a featured article about a species starting with a Z.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Time to party!  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  10:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) It's my party and I'll spray if I want to. ~ SavageBob 16:11, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 11:29, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nayayen
 * 2) * What do you mean by "could naturally segregate a biochemical spray"?
 * 3) **Oopz. Changed.
 * 4) * If they always have a white stripe on their face then why doesn't the one in the infobox have one? That at least this one didn't have one should be mentioned somewhere.
 * 5) **Added to BtS; he might use a dye or he might belong to a specific group or anything, but OS does not tell.
 * 6) ***Forgot to save it perhaps? I don't see anything new.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  09:37, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Added now, sorry. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:43, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Although the ZeHethbras did recognize no less than eighty individual groups in times of the Empire, other species could only see up to six different ZeHethbra groups." I don't get the second part of this sentence, were they rare or difficult to distinguish? Please clarify.
 * 9) **2nd option. Added.
 * 10) *Good work otherwise, Skippy.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:05, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 13) * "he was approached by Grand Admiral Thrawn, who wanted to ensure that Clyngunn would keep his apolitical stance." Whose stance, Thrawn's or Clyngunn's? If the latter, what was this stance? ~ SavageBob 03:50, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Changed.
 * 15) * Is there any indication of interactions between ZeHethbra and Gran, who also colonized the Malastare system?
 * 16) **None.
 * 17) * Is there any discrepancy between sources as to the plural of ZeHethbra? I seem to remember the WEG books using the same word for both singular and plural, though I could be misremembering. Either way, be careful, because the article currently uses both forms.
 * 18) **In fact, no source says "ZeHethbras". That form has been removed from the article.
 * 19) *That's it! Good work. ~ SavageBob 03:50, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:26, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *I noticed a bit more during my copy edit:
 * 22) ** Can we get a link and an article for the ZeHethbara–Dug war?
 * 23) ***Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ** What do you mean by "a vernacular language"? Is there an official language as well?
 * 25) ***Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) ** The "Biology and appearance" section says that they have vestigial tails, fangs, etc. Can you add something about this to "History," since this means that these parts were once more developed in their evolutionary past?
 * 27) ***Added, trying not to be too repetitive. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ** I'm not sure the contrast between ZeHethbra becoming Jedi and ZeHethbra taking military jobs is OK; the Jedi were quite military in the Clone Wars, for example. Can this be rephrased?
 * 29) ***Reworded, trying to not establish a direct relation or contrast between two possible jobs. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ** Can you add something to History about the ZeHethbra's neutrality during the Galactic Civil War? That is all. I zhall be happy to zupport zoon, a azzure you. ~ SavageBob 16:53, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:17, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) Do we know that is an image of Raije? --Eyrezer 04:26, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *I know he is, and I am telling you, so now we both know it. The image is uncaptioned but it appeared next to the text describing Raije; and there's another picture of "mystery skunk-like furry" holding Raije's characteristic Wookiee bowcaster and hunting a character that, following the text, is Raije's prey. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:06, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Sorry to butt in, but Is this image reprinted from No Disintegrations? The image info page says it's from Alien Encounters, which only depicts "generic" members of the species as far as I know, but then the Raije page says he only appears in No Disintegrations. ~ SavageBob 15:16, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Hey, in fact he isn't. I was wrong, Bob was right, Raije was burlier. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:10, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * Can you add something about their whiskers, number of fingers, and ears? Possibly their clothes and earrings, too. Other than that, very clean. --Eyrezer 12:42, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:00, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * It might be a good idea to swap a couple of images around so that the taller, thin images go with the longer sections and the short, squat images go with the shorter ones. Currently, the image of Raije is breaking into the next section below it. I'll review this soon! :) ~ SavageBob 03:11, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, but still with image saying something about the text, I hope. Swapped a little. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:26, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Frog-dog

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 00:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A delicacy in both France and Korea. ~ SavageBob 00:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) If the fair maiden gives him a kiss, the frog-dog will become a Shi'ido prince. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:30, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:14, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) You need to add plot information on the Frog-dogs in the Super Star Wars game. A non-canon section in the BTS is the spot for it. --Eyrezer 23:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I'll see what I can do. Did you ever find the strategy guide scans? I wonder if it was me who lost them... :/ ~ SavageBob 01:52, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *Is that what you had in mind? ~ SavageBob 06:15, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Disney presents: The Xenobiologist and the Frog[-dog]. Btw, Skippy here
 * 5) * Society: "fit around the frog-dog's neck". Do they have necks? The description under Bio suggested they had not. Or maybe it was just me.
 * 6) * Society: "scraps and crumbs if not more appealing fare, like Jawas" Do you mean frog-dogs eat Jawas? Or do frog-dogs share the same diet than Jawas have? Maybe Jawas fed frog-dogs? Anyway, I feel this is very ambiguous.
 * 7) * Evilo Nailati is not linked anywhere. Please, link him. Preferably mention him in the main article
 * 8) * History: Who hired Bubo?
 * 9) * In the galaxy: No ITG section?
 * 10) * BTS: "Bubo has often been confused with another creature". Who has confused Bubo?
 * 11) * BTS: 'calls the character "a bubo" at one point, although it is unknown if this is a mistake or' A mistake on the part of whom? The writer of the story made the mistake, or maybe a character says "a bubo"?
 * 12) * BTS: "appear but play no major role" OR? Maybe "appear in the background" or "without dialogue" would be less daring?
 * 13) *Ribbit. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:01, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **I've made a go at addressing your objections except for a couple: No source reveals who hired Bubo; there's no ITG section because I've merged it up into History since if I don't I'll be in breach of the layout guide that straightjackets these articles; the original source uses the passive voice for who confuses Bubo, so I can't really change it; and I'm comfortable with saying they play no major role in those source since they really only appear as background flavor critters. Croak croak woof! ~ SavageBob 05:28, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Jiivahar

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:13, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Jiivahar are an arboreal species: they look like some kind of frog/lizard but are actually simians...

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) J on the good path... --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:24, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 07:53, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) I think the artist did that infobox image in about 10 seconds. But good job. ~ SavageBob 17:54, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:33, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy and let's face the Challenge
 * 2) * Bio: They averaged 1.55 – 1.85 meters tall, an average size Can you replace one "average" with a synonym to avoid using the same word twice in a row?
 * 3) **Changed.
 * 4) * Bio: an average size for a humanoid species. Do you mean they were a humanoid species? If so, could you explicitly say it? ("a humanoid species like them").
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Bio: more fragile. susceptible to physical damage. Full-stop plus lower-case. Probably some text missing?
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * Social structure: A talin is a community of 5-10 families but, how big is a family? Do they have big litters?
 * 9) **Unfortunately, no info on this.
 * 10) * Social structure: "to give as goods as they were could to the leaders". Eh... uh... Do you think maybe this could be reworded? Please? It might be just me, but I find it very confusing.
 * 11) **A word missing. Fixed.
 * 12) * In the galaxy: I don't think the link pathfinder leads to a popular Jiivahar job
 * 13) **Fixed
 * 14) * As per Alien Encounters, page 77, the sarvin can also be used to firmly grab living beings, which should be mentioned.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * The guy in the infobox picture seems to wear jewelry in his (her?) left ankle, three rings in toes of the left foot and two more in neck piercings. This use of jewelry should be mentioned, particularly the piercing stuff for a species that cannot withstand physical damage.
 * 17) **I already have this info in the Society and culture section. I suspect you must have missed it.
 * 18) *Good job! Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:45, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. --Eyrezer 05:31, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 21) * Can we get a summary of their game stats? What stats do they get bonuses to and which ones do they get penalties on? That sort of thing. ~ SavageBob 03:59, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Do you mean in the Bts? --Eyrezer 04:55, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Yeah, I've done it on a few entries. I think Pacithhip is an example. ~ SavageBob 05:13, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ****How's this? --Eyrezer 06:57, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) *****Looks good! ~ SavageBob 17:54, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) In the intro, you say that they were a hairless simian species, while in the body you say that they were evolved from such a species. All I got.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:52, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) *Harmonised. --Eyrezer 08:28, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) Toprawa:
 * 29) * Should this be "talins" rather than "talin" singular? "Their decisions could not be forced on their talin"
 * 30) * Not an objection, but I made a few minor changes regarding each mention of the Kinn-taas to correct what I perceived as a singular-plural inconsistency. Feel free to revise that if I am incorrect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:19, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) **Re talin, I intended it to be singular, as in "The leader(s) of a talin (tribe) cannot force a decision on the tribe."
 * 32) **The source has "During these feasts, or Kinn-taas, all members of a talin..." so it doesn't actually indicate what the singular is. --Eyrezer 21:41, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ***Ok, change my edits around to your liking if you want. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Dllr Nep

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:57, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Best read over a few mugs of the juice!

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) ". . .who distinguished himself on the mission to Mrllst . . ." Should this be Mrlsst? <span style="color: Blue (pigment)">Axinal  Convocation Chamber 21:48, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes it should. Changed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:24, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Pacithhip

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 06:09, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An oldie but goodie. ~ SavageBob 06:09, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 14:04, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) The wolfman mask isn't realistic enough. Put an elephant head on this guy and replace him. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:21, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 03:22, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Any quotes for the sections in the body?
 * 3) * "their preferred approach to dealing with the disagreeable (even something as fundamental as dislike of the caste system) was to let it be and endure." Please reword sans parentheses.
 * 4) *Aaaaaaaand that's all. Another good species article, SavageBob.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 20:43, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks for the review! Unfortunately, there are no quotes, since no Pacithhip has had a speaking role in any Star Wars work, and the stories about them have been in sourcebooks or the Databank. The other objection should now be addressed. ~ SavageBob 21:34, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Actually, few Pacithhips have some speaking roles in The Phantom Menace game. But I dont think they are suitable for the species. Kreivi Wolter 09:59, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Skippy still wants to see a flyin' Pacithhip
 * 8) * Intro: "These came in three distinct patterns". I know you are talking about the tusks, but I think "these" is an ambiguous word.
 * 9) * Intro: "Pacithhip gained renown for their exploits. One such individual was a Pacithhip Jedi who..." and ITG: "Pacithhip earned fame for centuries. For example, a Pacithhip Jedi was a member of the Army of Light in 1,000 BBY." Did this person gain in-universe renown? Does the OS specify that all the members of the Army of Light in 1,000 BBY were individually famous?
 * 10) * ITG: "Paradoxically" - NPOV? Or does the OS specify that this was paradoxical?
 * 11) * ITG: "The Tatooine jerba was one rare breed they raised." Do you mean Pacithhip rarely bred jerbas? Or that the jerba was a rare animal which was bred by Pacithhip?
 * 12) * Could you expand somewhere on the Pacithhip from the video game you've mentioned in your answers to IFYLOFD?
 * 13) *Good job! Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **I've taken a stab at all of these except for the last two. As for the Tatooine jerba question, yes, the implication is that the breed is a rare one in general, but I think this should be clear. If the implication were that the Pacithhip did not breed jerbas often, rarely or seldom would be the words to use. I've pinged Kreivi about the game, so maybe something will come of that, too, though it sounds like little more can be gleaned from the game than what's already in the article (that Mos Espa had a Pacithhip population in 32 BBY). Thanks for your review! ~ SavageBob 21:14, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Eyrezer:
 * 16) * Can you add some more detail to the B&A on the tusk patterns? Looking at the images, I can see two types of tusks: curving down and curving up. I know these may not be described in text, but the images are consistent enough.
 * 17) * "Pacithhip earned fame for centuries." This feels a stretch, if based on the JvS panel.
 * 18) * Looking at the Alien Encounters image, I'm pretty sure that is a lightsaber at his belt. Can this dude be alluded to?
 * 19) * No link or mention of Anakin Skywalker's friend? --Eyrezer 10:57, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **I'm not sure I can really say much about the tusks; they all seem to curve upward from what I can see, but angle of the shot can make them appear to go sideways or down. And I don't see the lightsaber. Which image are you referring to? The other two objection should be addressed. ~ SavageBob 01:48, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Re the tusks: this, this, and this all appear to me to continue on a plane, whereas this, this, this, and this appear to have an almost 90 degree kink in them. --Eyrezer 02:32, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***The image on page 115 of Alien Encounters looks to have a lightsaber. The image is not one used in your article --Eyrezer 04:09, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****OK, thanks for the links and page refs. I've elaborated a bit more on the tusks, though I'm reluctant to assume that the angle of the tusks has anything to do with the genetic tusk pattern. As for the lightsaber guy, I see what you're talking about. I'm not sure how to allude to that dude, since he doesn't necessarily have to be a Jedi to have a lightsaber... Any suggestions? ~ SavageBob 01:42, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *****I added half a line. Let me know if you feel it is warranted. --Eyrezer 05:44, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ******Thanks, looks fine to me! ~ SavageBob 06:01, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yam'rii

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 17:57, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At the Star Wars, Star Wars cantina / The weirdest creatures you've ever seen-a&hellip; ~ SavageBob 17:57, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nice. What about Kaleesh ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:54, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 01:35, April 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:38, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ShaakTi1138 19:27, April 16, 2010 (UTC) Yeah, what about Kaleesh? ;)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:11, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) --Eyrezer 06:10, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy to the tune of Copacabana: Music and blasters and old Jedi Masters at the Star Wars...
 * 2) * Huk redirects here. You may be looking for Houk or Huhk. Also: Incidentally, this allophony could be mentioned in BtS or not, if you feel.
 * 3) * Intro: Reptilian can be linked here too.
 * 4) *<S>Intro: After the Kaleesh gained the upper hand in the Huk War, they took the fighting to Huk colonies and wiped out civilian settlements. This is important enough to be mentioned in the intro, an excuse to see the Yam'rii as the victims.
 * 5) * Intro: You could mention that the Republic did not punish the Yam'rii
 * 6) * Bio: Mantis-like? Then I want an article on mantis. And a link.
 * 7) * Society: You seem to suggest that the Yam'rii are little more than xenophobic monsters. Please, mention that some Yam'rii had social relations with mammals, such as Kitik with Swilla Corey (as mentioned later).
 * 8) * Evolution: What are "lower insects? Lower than what?
 * 9) * Evolution: "Minerals and ore"? I thought ores were rocks containing certain minerals, and as such minerals themselves. Maybe replace with "Minerals, including ore"?
 * 10) * The Huk War: "their assault on the Shrupak" must be linked and, I believe, expanded.
 * 11) * The Huk War: "Several new resistance leaders sprang up". Please specify you are talking about Kaleesh leaders.
 * 12) * Later conflicts: Context on the IBC, and don't use an acronym in the first mention of something like that.
 * 13) * In the galaxy: Last sentence of first paragraph is unsourced.
 * 14) * BtS: Mention that Purvis is not credited as Kitik, but only as the Jawa.
 * 15) * BtS: The card's statistics make Keed'kak powerful indeed, but she automatically loses if opposed by Kal'falnl (or "forfeited", whatever it does mean). If you don't say that, you are omitting important information.
 * 16) * BtS: "Nearly thirty years later" You've just mentioned 1995, meaning that you are talking about circa 2025 AD. Please say "Nearly thirty years after (specific event).
 * 17) * Please, when you use several footnotes in a row, such as "brood.[34][2]", write the lower number first.
 * 18) **I've sofixit'ed a few.
 * 19) * Maybe more images could be used; I suggest you the third page of "The Dreams of General Grievous", fifth of the complete webcomic, featuring the expressive heads of Yam'rii next to the caption "Of late, I have tasted failure."
 * 20) *This is what I call a very good job. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:32, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) **I've addressed most of these. I'm not sure what your third objection is, though. As for the images, I'll try to get one of Rek to add, maybe one that shows off his fingers. And I believe I'm in violation of the redlink rule now, so I need to get cracking on that as well, dang you! :) Thanks for the detailed review. ~ SavageBob 21:47, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Added more detail on third objection. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:15, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****I added a bit more detail on the fighting in the intro. What do you think? ~ SavageBob 15:48, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *****All objections have been dealt with, but I want to do a 2nd review later. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:41, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) When you talk about Grievous working for the Commerce Guild in "Later conflicts," it can be a bit confusing if you're not familiar with the source. A bit more explanation would be nice. Otherwise, seems clean.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:06, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *Thanks for taking a look. Any better now? ~ SavageBob 01:39, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) Eyrezer:
 * 28) * "under the leadership of a warrior who called himself Grievous." He doesn't go by this name until later, right? If so, put his name at the time.
 * 29) * Is it possible to work in anymore flavor info on Abbaji and Tovarsk? Perhaps work in a mention of the firethorn or something?
 * 30) * Can we get an image link for "Yam'rii" in the Clone Wars cartoon? --Eyrezer 09:19, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) **Thanks for the look. I've addressed 1 and 2 (I don't want to get too off-topic on Abbaji). As for the CW possible Yam'rii, it's in a scene where the camera zooms quite quickly from a Dulok to some Herglic-looking alien, so all you would get is a mantis-shaped blur, which wouldn't be too illustrative... I have half a mind to remove the "possible appearance" completely, but I decided to grandfather it in since it was there before I began work on the article and it could be a Yam'rii in that blur-over shot. ~ SavageBob 05:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * There is a mantis-like creature as part of the Guild Council in The Mandalorian Armor. Not sure if it was intended to be a Yam'rii, but it sounds like it. Cull Tremayne 22:55, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for pointing that out. I've mentioned him/her/it in the article. ~ SavageBob 16:09, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Vost Tyne

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:24, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Have some Tyne to review my article?

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 05:14, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) One really minor thing: can you mention D-3P-O2 somewhere in the bio instead of exclusively in the P&T? It's relevant there, too.  CC7567  (talk) 05:00, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added, and thanks for the review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 05:13, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Miltin Takel

 * Nominated by: Cull Tremayne 02:27, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Let's get all these GAs done. Whatya say?

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 18:52, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Do watch your linking, however.  CC7567  (talk) 19:23, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 03:09, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:19, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Place of death is missing in the infobox.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:58, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Fixed. Cull Tremayne 18:22, April 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Cav:
 * 4) * Grand Admiral Josef Grunger, who was busy aiding Takel's forces in the search for "white-skinned marauders" (presumably the Nagai) - presuming that they are the Nagai is speculation. Were they or weren't they? If it isn't definite, then the reference to the Nagai should be removed. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:43, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **It doesn't say "Nagai" in the text, but this is a reference to the Nagai. The exact same wording is used to describe them in Star Wars 101: Far, Far Away. Would a reference to that comic work? Cull Tremayne 18:41, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) **Eh, never mind. It's still speculation, and I can't find anything where Abel and Dan confirm that's what they were referencing. Cull Tremayne 22:29, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***The Forgotten War takes the "white-skinned marauders" comment and puts it directly in the context of the Nagai's operations in the Mandalore Sector. jSarek 06:20, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ****I knew there was some confirmation out there somewhere. I just pipe-linked that reference to Nagai with a ref to JMM's article. Thanks. Cull Tremayne 06:24, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa:
 * 10) * The way this sentence is worded kind of makes it seem like it was part of Thrawn's Grand Admiral induction ceremony. Can we clarify this as being separate at all? Perhaps something like, "Later, at a meeting..." I'm not sure the circumstances of these events, so I didn't want to make the change first: "At a meeting with Darth Vader, Palpatine, and Thrawn, Takel witnessed a holographic readout of the Death Star II."
 * 11) **Good point, added "Later".
 * 12) * Can we link or at least leave a redlink for this first officer character? "Immediately after receiving word of the defeat at Endor, Grunger opened fire on Takel's first officer"
 * 13) **Redlinked. I linked it to "his", but is there another way to link it while keeping the link to executive officer intact?
 * 14) ***In the absence of an actual name for the character, I think the way you linked it is probably best. Both links are still present this way at least. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:19, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * I have a slight grievance regarding his "first appearance" in the Appearances list. You specify the NewsNets article from AJ 5 as his first appearance. However, if that article is like the other NewsNets as I understand them, it's really just a news story. So unless Takel is literally quoted in the story or something like that, I don't think that's appropriate to list as a true "first appearance." Instead, I feel "first mentioned" would be more fitting. And then whichever source he does in fact "appear" in would instead be his first true "first appearance." Feel free to speak with me about this on IRC if you want. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:36, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) **That makes sense, I'll rejigger it. Cull Tremayne 21:50, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:58, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Relin Druur

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:23, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A main character from Crosscurrent; my longest FAN yet

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) ShaakTi1138 18:24, April 14, 2010 (UTC). Great work :D
 * 2) I remembered to change the numbers this time! Also great work. Menkooroo 03:51, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) I admittedly enjoy your chosen ref name for Crosscurrent quite a lot. :P  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Haha :P Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:36, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Nice. Time for his nemesis ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:11, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 2) *Quick glance: You should mine for more bts info. On April 2nd at 5:44am, Paul S. Kemp shared his thoughts on Druur's fall. More from me later! Menkooroo 03:57, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Hmm, I'm not sure how much of that really falls into BTS material, because Kemp is essentially just explaining to darthjulian777 why Druur fell to the dark side, all of which is already in the article body. I considered adding the bit about his intentions on why he portrayed Hassin the way he did (and how it related to Druur's fall), but even that seemed like it would belong better in Hassin's BTS, rather than Druur's. Thanks for pointing me to the thread, though! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:22, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Yeah, you're probably right. But in the tradition of "actor and author comments", it might be worth noting in a quick sentence or two that Kemp saw Relin's fall as the result of something very human, and that he thought that Druur responded in a very human way to that loss --- or, even more interestingly, that Kemp states that Druur's rage at himself goes unacknowledged? I won't push this, but, ya know, think about it. Menkooroo 14:01, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Restating again what I said above: everything that Kemp says in that post really just restates what's already been said in the article, because it can all be found in the novel itself. Kemp was just explaining to someone on the forum boards who, for whatever reason, couldn't understand why Druur fell to the dark side. But we obviously get it here, so there's really no point in adding that info to the article, when its already there. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:58, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Fair enough. Like I said, I'm not going to push it. Menkooroo 06:54, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * There are a few instances where you talk about how Druur fought Rrogon or Massassi Warriors, or that he incapacitated people --- I know he's a Jedi, but you should still probably mention that he did so with his lightsaber.
 * 8) **The problem is that a lot of the time, he did so with the Force, rather than with his lightsaber, and to point out for each separate instance which was which would be far too play-by-play. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:44, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Second duel with Rrogon: "As he waited there for Rrogon to arrive: --- why was he waiting for Rrogon? All that's been mentioned so far is that his mission is about destroying the Lignan.
 * 10) **Fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:44, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * Is the "meanwhile" necessary? The text hasn't changed scenes here or anything.
 * 12) **Removed. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:44, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Heh, I actually meant a different meanwhile. The one you removed was just fine. Menkooroo 16:51, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Oh, well since you didn't specify, I thought you meant the one that was right next to the text of the above objection. Which one did you mean, then? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:53, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *****Wow... I'm sorry for dropping the ball on this one. A simple control f would have prevented my buffoonery. :^P Anyway: "Meanwhile, Druur decided that—as he was no longer a Jedi—he would not use a Jedi weapon, and threw aside his lightsaber." The other meanwhiles were great, but this one jumped at me, since it was only going from one dude to the dude right in front of him. Sorry again. Menkooroo 23:54, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) ******Haha no problem, mistakes happen. :) Done. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:56, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *That's all. Well done! Menkooroo 06:54, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:44, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * As a note, please try to avoid linking excessive clauses together with gerunds (the -ing forms of verbs); I've found that saying "Druur continued drawing on the power of the ore as he died, finally unleashing it upon the Harbinger, destroying the ship." tends to be rather long-winded.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Noted, thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:36, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Rivoche Tarkin

 * Nominated by: jSarek 08:22, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I present to you Voren Na'al's wife!

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) I would have tried this myself, but I lacked some sources. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:56, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Really watch your linking and formatting though. I had to fix a lot of stuff.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:48, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Skippy and more WEG stuff
 * 2) * Early years: Context on Grand Vizier.
 * 3) **CRO doesn't provide any more context. While it's reasonable to assume it's Sate Pestage, the book doesn't say it.
 * 4) * Extraction: You said that Vader recommended Sollaine (1st paragraph) and later that Vader was a rival of Sollaine (4th paragraph). Firstly: Why did Vader recommend his rival for that job in first place? Second: If Vader and Sollaine were indeed rivals, this deserves a mention in the 1st paragraph.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * Strange formatting under BtS; italics where there shouldn't be any and vice versa. Have a look.
 * 7) **Yeah, caught that after I posted. Should all be cleared up now.
 * 8) * Rivoche's main image was also used for a "Generic arrogant noble PC" in at least some WEG books. This merits either a BtS mention about it (including credit to the artist of the image), or even adding more information from the "noble" PC that might be Rivoche.
 * 9) **Info added. I don't think going into detail about the noble there provides any useful information regarding Rivoche, though, since other than the picture and Rebel tendencies, they have little in common.
 * 10) * The Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook re-uses text from Heir to the Empire Sourcebook, Dark Force Rising Sourcebook and The Last Command Sourcebook. Have you confirmed that Rivoche is not mentioned in any of these?
 * 11) **As far as I can tell, Rivoche is only mentioned in the introduction to the TTSB, which was newly created for that book.
 * 12) * Careful with using two successive footnotes to the same reference. Only the last one is needed, and the other only clogs the page. I've editted some myself, but please confirm there are none I could have missed.
 * 13) **Actually, those were on purpose; I was specifically trying to make sure that if a sentence was created from two or more sources, that both were cited for that sentence.
 * 14) *This was a nom I've been eager to see for a long time! Thank you very much! Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:00, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **My pleasure; I've been wanting to tackle Rivoche for quite some time. jSarek 09:46, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * I fixed the instance of "son" in the intro. I'll give it a more thorough read-through tomorrow, as I'm off to bed.  But I figured I'd point that out as there might be some more erroneous instances of Rivoche being referred to as a "he."  Or that might be the only one.  Either way.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 09:11, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks. When I saw that, I couldn't believe I'd made such a silly mistake in the first place. Thanks for clearing it up. jSarek 09:47, April 13, 2010 (UTC)

Gray Jedi

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:11, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first nom. This one started as a GAN but needed major work. After a number of helpful objections and a few rewrites, the improved article is longer and I was advised that it would be better suited as a FAN. I requested that it be removed from GAN so I could add it here. I look forward to addressing your objections so that I can improve the article to FA status. Thanks. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:11, April 14, 2010 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * In the second sentence of the History section, you link to Jedi Enclave, but I'm not sure if that was your intention, based on the context of the sentence.
 * 3) **My only guess is that I thought "Enclave" was just another term for "Academy", like "praxeum". I simply removed the link. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * I'm seeing several linking mistakes in the article, particularly underlinking, especially regarding events. Please make sure that you have everything linked once in the intro, and once in the body, and make sure you link directly to the correct page, and not to redirects. I've fixed a couple of these during my copy-edit to show some examples.
 * 5) **I'm not sure what the term "underlinking" refers to. That I'm not linking enough, especially to events? I will see if I can fix these and add more event-related links where appropriate. (might take me a day or so) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Yes, that is correct: "underlinking" means that there are missing links. And no problem, better to take some time and make sure you get it right than to rush through it and still miss some. :) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:53, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Okay, I did linking sweeps for 1) repeat links, 2) links to redirection pages, and 3) obvious missing links. I have yet to dig through events in order to find some more specific links for the article, but it's a start. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 17:30, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Done with adding event-related articles. Main focus was in the History section. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 15:43, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * "However, between the Great Sith War and the Dark Wars, the Jedi went from the height of their power to a mere remnant of their existence&hellip;" A couple things: first, could you provide actual BBY date(s) here, just for more solid clarification of the time? (Actually, it would be good to do so throughout other parts of the history section as well; you commonly refer to wars for keeping track of time, which is fine, but it would be better to include some ABY/BBY dates in there, too, even if they're "circa.") Second, how did they become a "mere remnant of their existence?" Do you mean their numbers dwindled, or that they lost control over the galaxy, or something else?
 * 10) **I assume dwindled but that text is very close to the source text. I wasn't sure, so I didn't assume. Source text: Between the Great Sith War and the Dark Wars, the Jedi go from the height of their power to a mere remnant of their existence. Unlike the Jedi of later years, the Jedi in a Knights of the Old Republic campaign are likely to be fractious and unwilling to bow to their own central authority&mdash;the Jedi Council. (KotORCG, p104) I added dates to the sentece, but I'm not sure I can clarify without making an assumption about what the author meant. Also, I added some dates throughout the history section. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **I just added a link to the First Jedi Purge in that sentence. I figure that there might be other types of "reductions" to the Jedi Order in that time, but the purge is the clearest example we have, and it did happen in the dark wars. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:16, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Please create a stub for Halcyon's battle with Tyris, if such a page does not yet exist.
 * 13) **Will do. Probably won't get to it tonight (need to check dates in the novel). Will post again when done. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Article added for the Tyris duel. I also added an article for the duel between Bindo and Nayama. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 17:30, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Jensaarai participated in the Yuuzhan Vong War alongside the Jedi." Could you please provide me with a quote/page number that supports this sentence? After reading Edge of Victory II a couple weeks ago myself, I have a sneaking suspicion that this may refer to Kelbis Nu, whom I believe had become a Jedi by this point in time.
 * 16) **It was a reference to Kelbis Nu as far as I know. Clarified and added a date. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *Sorry for not reviewing this sooner, I've been quite busy of late. The article is much improved; I'll continue with the Traits and techniques section once you work through these. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:15, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **No problem, I will post again when I'm done with the linking fixes. It will take me some time to comb through the events. Thanks again! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Okay, so just to sum up, I think I've hit everything except for doing an in-depth exploration for events that should be linked to in the article. I will post again after doing so. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 17:30, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Last of the objections addressed. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 15:43, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * One more for now: does Star Wars Legacy 33: Fight Another Day, Part 2 say that Fel became Head of State of the Empire in 41 ABY? If not, please source this bit to Invincible: "Some time after 41 ABY, when Jagged Fel was selected as the Head of State of the Galactic Empire&hellip;" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:06, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Sourced to Invincible. Thanks for another copy-edit. I see that I went too far in the other direction adding event-related links. :) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:15, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Haha no problem, it can be hard to find the right balance of linking sometimes. When pipelinking things (linking like this: assassination attempt ), just try to link everything that directly relates to an event (such as in the above example). If the wording doesn't directly relate to it, then it isn't needed. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:23, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:51, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:02, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Danetta Pitta

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:21, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1,029. Be gentle.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 05:54, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:16, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:56, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) --Eyrezer 04:17, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object ' Comments
 * 1) "he constantly dreamed of bringing his prison ships in to rid the Corellian system of its native non-Humans, such as the Drall, the Selonians, and the Nosaurians." Is that meant to be the Corellian sector? I wasn't aware there was a Nosaurian population in the Corellian system. --Eyrezer 04:05, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes, you did. Fixed. --Eyrezer 04:17, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * GT! Where's Thrawn? Thefourdotelipsis 14:21, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Hee hee. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:25, April 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * He got lost on the way with Anakin Skywalker and Boba Fett. :P Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:16, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Tyvokka

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:53, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And here... we... go.

(0 Inqs/4 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:33, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) RAWrnWaRthRAA RAA ROO. (You make me proud, Plo Koon) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 13:11, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) IRC reviewed. -- 1358  (Talk) 13:25, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent work. ~ SavageBob 04:49, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Why does LucasFilm hate Wookiees?
 * 2) * Perhaps you should create an article on the ear-bud translators Stark uses?
 * 3) **I've actually removed the sentence wholesale. I put it in there as I was jotting down the events of the comic, but it's PbP, and largely irrelevant.
 * 4) * Context on Mount Avos.
 * 5) **In so far as Tyvokka is concerned, the relevant context is there: "the defensible position of Mount Avos."
 * 6) * The last sentence of the bio is rather confusing. It needs some context on Order 66 and the formation of the Galactic Empire.
 * 7) **Good point. It's in there now.
 * 8) * In the P&T, you use "humility" in both of the two first sentences. While this is merely aesthetic, would you mind using a synonym for one of them?
 * 9) **It's also poor writing on my part. :P Changed the second one to "modesty."
 * 10) * "The Wookiee Jedi Master was said to be able to "sense the future"—while he was kept focused on the present by his instinctive knowledge of the Force, he was also able intuit all the possibilities stemming from a given situation." The dash is really weird here. Perhaps a semicolon or just a comma would be better?
 * 11) **Used a semi-colon instead. Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 00:03, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) It should be noted in the BTS that he received an entry in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia. This should also be included as one of the sources.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:58, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Added it to the sources; as for the BTS, it doesn't really need to go there. It would mean listing all the other stuff he's been in, and he's been in enough stuff since his creation for it to not be remarkable that he's in CSWE. Thefourdotelipsis 14:40, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **OK. Good job, Fourdot.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:33, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Before I review it, I've got two things for you. Most colors have links. Brown needs to be linked. Also, use the dialogue template only for three or more speakers; use quote for everything else.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:04, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *Those are disambig pages, for the colours. I didn't think that we linked to disambigs. The quotes are fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 12:10, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Hmm. In that case, I could be wrong. I'll talk to some other people and find out.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:12, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***We do link to colors, regardless of the fact that it's a disambig page. It's not a huge deal, but you should link for colors.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:58, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 20) * Is "Republic Classic era" an in-universe term appropriate to use in the main text of an article? (I'm really not sure, so please let me know!)
 * 21) **Yes, Republic Classic era is an IU era. It's "Rise of the Empire era" that's OOU. Don't ask me why we have it in infoboxes though...
 * 22) * No information from Jedi vs. Sith? ~ SavageBob 01:23, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **No, just a mention that he was Koon's master. Thefourdotelipsis 01:31, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * You might be lulled into thinking that he's interesting. Thefourdotelipsis 14:53, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:46, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Koffi Arana

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:10, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Call him a jerk if you like, but a lot of us would be crazed if the institution we served turned our backs on us&hellip;

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) We'll need more Purge characters.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:21, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee attacks
 * 2) * Shortly after the meeting, Arana participated in the battle of the planet Boz Pity. Doesn't sound good. participated in a battle on the planet Boz Pity would be better.
 * 3) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * The last few sentences in the Order 66 section are choppy.
 * 5) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The first two sentences in the second part of the intro are choppy too.
 * 7) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * The Ambush on Kessel section is also choppy in the beginning.
 * 9) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * Potkin revealed to Arana and the Jedi that she had leaked false intelligence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would be attending the meeting and added that the Dark Lord Darth Vader was coming to the meeting in hopes of finding Kenobi. Why would Vader want to kill Kenobi ?
 * 11) **I don't believe the reason for Vader wanting to kill Kenobi is relevant to Arana, he and the other Jedi did not know.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Second part of Ambush on Kessel are choppy too.
 * 13) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Some choppy sentences in the P&T.
 * 15) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Lightsaber color should be in the P&A.
 * 17) **I'd have to disagree, since I would think a Jedi's blade color was more about their personality; their ability with it belongs in the P&A.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Well but mention in the first P&A sentence that his lightsaber was blue-bladed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:59, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Ah and take a look at this articles.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:01, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****Added the blue-bladed part. Also, if you take a look at this article, the color and the skill with the lightsaber are seperately mentioned.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:10, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******Well, I believe that's different from user to user. Nevermind.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *That's all from me. Good work.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:39, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks, Lee.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:50, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * File:KoffiArana.jpg is in violation of rule #4. Move it to another spot in the article, or remove it altogether. --Imperialles 13:26, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * Say he was born on Turkhana in the Bio.
 * 3) **It already does, it redirects to Turkana, which is why it says what it says.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * You should mention that Vader's arm is cybernetic.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Why did Arana kill Swan?
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * The records that Sate Pestage altered were from a compiliation of various reports created by Marcellin Wessel. That the files were sent to Palpy for approval to be sent over the new news nets should be in the article.
 * 9) **How's this?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Does it say what kind of power struggle? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:05, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ****The report says "a mad scramble for power". That's all it says.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *What a gentleman. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:19, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Naru!
 * 14) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 15) *I love it when people FAN film characters! Awesome choice. Looks great; skillfully-written and well-linked. Just a few minor things:
 * 16) * Which underworld did Arana hide in? The criminal underworld? The Coruscant underworld?
 * 17) **The source doesn't explicitly say. It says "&hellip;slipping underground for several weeks&hellip;". That could mean anything, and I put down "underworld", so as to avoid copying directly from the source.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Is it necessary to identify Arana as a Human male in p&t? Once in the intro and once in the main body seems enough.
 * 19) **The Inqs don't seem to mind, they usually want me to do this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Can the p&t sentences "Bultar Swan tried to reason with him, but Arana would not listen and told Swan to give her lightsaber to him so that he could kill the Sith. When she refused..." be trimmed down? Maybe something like "When Bultar Swan disagreed and would not surrender her lightsaber..." It's more concise, and eliminates the possibility of an NPOV issue when you state that Swan was "reasoning" with him.
 * 21) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *I'm a little confused --- if Arana was introduced in Revenge of the Sith, why would he need to be retconned to be in it? Did the character of Arana exist before Corroney's blog entry was written? Or did Leland simply say "That dude in ROTS is named Koffi Arana"? If the latter is true, it's not really a retcon, is it? Menkooroo 02:26, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Yes, the character was unidentified before Corroney's blog was written, then Chee said this in response to Abel G. Pena's comment about it being a young Qu Rahn illustration: "Err, yeah&hellip; about that. That guy's someone else who survived Order 66. His name is Koffi Arana and you may be seeing a little bit more of him in the future." On a later date, Corroney says this : "Koffi is in RotS. You can glimpse him briefly outside the Jedi Temple briefing room as Obi-Wan and Anakin are leaving (or it might be as Anakin is entering... can't recall at the moment)." hence the (official) retcon.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Ah, OK. The wording is still kind of confusing, though --- first saying that he was introduced in ROTS, and then that he was retconned to have been in it. I'd suggest putting the blog stuff before the ROTS stuff, as it seems that Koffi was first introduced in Corroney's blog before being retconned to be in ROTS. Menkooroo 00:05, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ***Thanks for the review!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:22, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * The .ogg file is from 2007, so it's presumably outdated and probably should be axed/updated. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:54, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Killed until I can find a way to update/find someone that can update it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:30, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * One note about my copy-edit: I changed two instances of "the other seven Jedi" (p&t and p&a) to "seven other Jedi", as it kind of sounded like there were only seven other Jedi left in the galaxy. Feel free to change it back if you disagree. Menkooroo 02:26, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Zevulon Veers

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 08:30, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first DE nom in a while.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Cheers to Veers! Menkooroo 14:08, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 2) * Second paragraph of bio: "grew" and "growing" used close together. A minor quibble, but can you change it up?
 * 3) **Changed.
 * 4) * The finest schools... in the galaxy? In the Empire? Finest by who's standards? I'm guessing the DE Sourcebook probably doesn't elaborate on that statement, but can you take a stab at clarifying it?
 * 5) **It's not outright stated, but I suppose the implication is that they're the finest schools in the Empire. Clarified.
 * 6) * "Veers was able to make it through his adolescence relatively smoothly." Can you clarify what this means? It seems like it's about his COMPNOR training, but I'm not completely sure.
 * 7) **Clarified.
 * 8) * Is the librarian the rebel squad leader's father? The wording is a bit ambiguous. Some readers may think that Laibach is her father.
 * 9) **Clarified.
 * 10) * You mention that Palpatine was resurrected without having mentioned he died --- since you mention the Battle of Endor previously, maybe throw in a quick mention of his death? I'm cool either way on this one and won't push it if you disagree.
 * 11) **Added.
 * 12) * "During this battle, Veers found himself in direct conflict with his father." Do you know if Zev was aware of that fact? The earlier assertion that he never saw or heard from his father again kind of suggests that he wasn't. If not, I'd suggest changing "found himself" to "was".
 * 13) **The NEGC is incredibly vague on this, but I see what you mean. Changed.
 * 14) * Does DE II refer to them as "commandoes (with an e)"? If not, commandos (without the e) seems to be the accepted spelling in SW (see Lando's Commandos, Katarn Commandos).
 * 15) **Good catch, there should not be an "e."
 * 16) * The bts image is really big. Kinda awkwardly so. Then again, this may just be the resolution on my computer at work.
 * 17) **Hm, it looks fine to me. I'll shrink it down by 50px anyway.
 * 18) *Wow, those are really nitpicky objections. Sorry. Great job and I love the DE noms. Menkooroo 05:44, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Hey, no problem. You caught a lot of stuff most people probably wouldn't have, so thanks a lot for the review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 13:37, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Does Dark Empire call the planet simply "Calamari"? Menkooroo 05:44, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Right, that's all it's ever referred to in the comic. I thought it would be best to call the planet whatever name it's given during that specific time period. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 13:37, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I figured that was probably the case. Menkooroo 14:08, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Rokur Gepta

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:42, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'm happy with the way this turned out. He's a pretty cool character from an underrated series, and I think his article is now up to snuff. Oh yeah, and this is a former FA from a long time ago.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:42, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:57, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, but the final twist in his history, I'm sure I've read it before in Jim Meddick's Robotman. The pseudo-Crokes then said the unexpected real appearance could either be a moral maxim or at least a good plot for Twilight Zone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:52, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro will not nominate the Crokes in a near future
 * 2) * If Gepta spent decades researching the Toka, and then he contacted Lando in 4 BBY, then you should include the information on his research before saying what he did in 5 BBY (joining the Sorcerers), so that information is ordered chronologically.
 * 3) **Changed to present that information earlier.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * "The Millennium Falcon then left the atmosphere, much to Gepta's chagrin" I understand that the Falcon escaped (by jumping to hyperspace or anything). Anyway, if this is so, you should specify so.
 * 5) **Added that it escaped by going to hyperspace.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Gepta reflected on the fact that Shanga was the only person, aside from Calrissian, to stand up to him in millennia." Again, maybe this could be mentioned among the facts before 5 BBY.
 * 7) **Added it in the body, in the first paragraph.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Battle of ThonBoka. Consider adding "Main article: Battle of ThonBoka" to the opening of this section (Just a suggestion).
 * 9) **The "main" template is something that has always annoyed me, and since it's linked in that section, I'd rather not use that template.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * P&T: This is the first mention of Gepta having pets. Shouldn't they be mentioned somewhere in the history?
 * 11) **I'd say no, because they really aren't relevant to him aside from the fact that he liked them and occasionally fed crewmembers to them. That is, they don't really do anything, and certainly aren't vital to Gepta or the story. They're just a bit of an extra that reflect on him and his cruelty. It just doesn't fit in the body, I feel.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *I take my hat off to you.Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:26, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thank you, and thanks for reading it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***My pleasure, believe me. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:52, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Myneyrsh

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:52, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An FGAN that lost it's status because it had no Bts.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thank you for another species! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:56, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 2) *Just on a preliminary look, the BTS could be beefed up further. They were first mentioned in Zahn, but when was their background, culture, etc. first described and by whom? When were they first graphically depicted? Have their graphic depictions varied over time? How have the various RPGs treated them with relation to Humans (stronger? nimbler? quicker?). The article's in pretty good shape otherwise, but I'll look at the other sections next and report back here. :) ~ SavageBob 22:39, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Expanded. Thank you very much for the ideas. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:24, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It looks better, but there are still some problems. First, I don't think the discrepancy in their appearance in the comics and the game supplements counts as a retcon. Rather, I would take it as simply two possible phenotypes for the Myneyrshi species, much like Land Calrissian doesn't look much like Palpatine, yet both are Humans. I think, as well, that the West End Games supplements were the first graphic depiction of the species, not the comic books (I'd guess they were first pictured in The Last Command Sourcebook]]. Also, please include the name of the artist who first illustrated them. Finally, please add some information on Myneyrshi character stats in the Wizards of the Coast version of the RPG. Good work so far, look forward to more ~ SavageBob 04:01, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Farlstendoiro thanks you for your guest nom to WP:AS
 * 6) * Intro: "strange blue crystalline flesh". Strange = NPOV ?
 * 7) **Definite POV.
 * 8) * Question: Why don't you link "knives" to combat knife?
 * 9) **I knew there had to be an article on knives somewhere.
 * 10) * Society: "their planetary neighbors, the Psadan" <- This might be understood as the people living in the neighboring planet. Maybe you should reword it?
 * 11) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:50, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * "The Psadans were an unintelligent species" <- Sounds as if they were non-sentients. Maybe you could say "primitive" or "more primitive" or something?
 * 13) **Fixed.
 * 14) * "[C'baoth] tried to Force the Myneyrshi and the Psadan to cohabitate" Why do you use a capital F? You mean he used the Force to coerce them? Is it appropiate to use "the Force" as a verb?
 * 15) **It was a caps mistake.
 * 16) * History: In the first paragraph you talk about "the exploratory vessel" before telling us about it. What exploratory vessel? Maybe it could be solved simply saying "an exploratory vessel"?
 * 17) **Fixed.
 * 18) * "although thousands fled the war-torn planet, the Myneyrshi refused to leave their homeworld." So no Myneyrshi left? It was thousands of the other species inhabiting Wayland? Could you please specify this?
 * 19) **Fixed.
 * 20) * "As the only native species of Wayland" The article says that Psadans are also a native species of Wayland ("another of Wayland's sentient species" in the intro). Contradiction; please change one.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) *Made some edits to reorder sources; instead of [2][1][8] now it's [1][2][8], hope you don't mind. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:15, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **I don't. Thank you. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:50, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * File:Myneyrshi.JPG is in violation of rule #4. A re-scan wouldn't hurt, either, if you can find someone with a copy. --Imperialles 13:24, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) *Done, though the scan I found is about the same quality. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:22, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, the Bts is very short. There really isn't much of anything to note about these guys.
 * In nominating this article, have you checked through all the original sources or just added the Bts? As nominator, you need to be able to verify it contains all information, and not just rely on the work of its original GA nominator to have done their job. --Eyrezer 02:21, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * I did check the sources, with the exceptions of the RPG suppliments as they'd completely slipped my mind. I'll rectify that as soon as possible. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:50, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * Can you include an image from Legacy showing how the species is depicted there? Either a normal one or a mutated one could be helpful to the article. ~ SavageBob 04:03, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is how the one appears on the cover of Monster, Part 2 an accurate depiction? NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:22, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Amber Comark

 * Nominated by Cull Tremayne 23:14, April 18, 2010 (UTC):
 * Nomination comments Spice-addicted hero:

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:49, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Cav:
 * 2) * Intro - two sentences immediately following one another use the phrasing "native to the Core Worlds" and "Native to Chandrila". Any chance of changing the wording or merging the sentences to avoid repetition? - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:52, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Varied up the wording. Cull Tremayne 17:53, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Blitzer Harrsk

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 03:37, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Abbott! Laurel! Burns! Martin! Cher!

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) ...Cher? Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 05:02, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Waiting for Delvardus... --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:48, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) With a name like Blitzer, I expect the next warlord to be named Rudolph. -  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:35, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro
 * 2) * Pellaeon is overlinked.
 * 3) **That's what he gets for retreating. Fixed.
 * 4) * Context on Teradoc in his first mention. We do not know wether Teradoc is another Imperial warlord, a pirate, an officer of the New Republic, a crimelord; only that he was self-styled High Admiral.
 * 5) **He is actually called a warlord in the intro mention, but it's added to the body one now.
 * 6) * Consider adding the names of some of the other known warlords in the Tsoss Beacon meeting. Just a suggestion.
 * 7) **They aren't named, unfortunately. - Lord Hydronium 05:46, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:26, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:02, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Treuten Teradoc

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 03:37, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Costello! Hardy! Allen! Lewis! Sonny!

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 05:49, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) I see a red Stardestroyer and I waint it painted black. No colors anymore I want them to turn black (The Palpatones) Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:28, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) What nomination? We are the nominations! (Farlstendoiro)
 * 2) * "Teradoc beat Rogriss at Junction, winning him the allegiance of a number of Zsinj's ships, but Ackbar in turn soundly defeated him". Defeated whom? Teradoc, I guess, but could you please specify?
 * 3) * When you mention "red Victory-classs Star Destroyers", I would expand on the unusual fact that they were red: "Red-hulled" at least, or "that he ordered to paint red".
 * 4) * <S>"beneath the last officer he had served, Grand Admiral Thrawn". Suggestion: "Previous" instead of "last"? Thrawn was the last then, but not historically.</S>
 * 5) * Good job.Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:47, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) **Fixed them all, and thanks. - Lord Hydronium 07:22, April 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Quockran

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 08:42, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A wannabe Hutt species...

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) This is a great first step, or crawl, to nominate Hutt one day. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:06, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:15, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:36, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Oddly enough, I like scrapping asteroids too. ~ SavageBob 04:13, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro was already familiar with this species' damage resistance
 * 2) * You link slugs not to gastropod molluscs, but to lead projectiles.
 * 3) * The intro says they are slugs; Bio says they resembled giant slugs. Choose one.
 * 4) * Bio: "Quockrans averaged between 1.4 and 1.7 meters, although some could grow as long as 2 meters" If you are talking about their length, you should specify it in the first part of the sentence; you seem to suggest you are talking about their height.
 * 5) * Society: The different droid models could use individual articles.
 * 6) *Gosh, another alien using the Xamster social networking site. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:26, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **These should all be addressed. I didn't give the Imperial droids a link as these are just "regular" droids. --Eyrezer 11:02, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Final paragraph encased in the RPG scenario tags is unsourced. -  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:15, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa:
 * 10) * Can we at least leave a redlink for this city? "in their homeworld's sole city"
 * 11) **Link added
 * 12) * Is there nothing from the Star Wars Encyclopedia? Given the publishing time frame of some of the other sources included, it seems like they may have received a mention within.
 * 13) **Nope
 * 14) * I wasn't sure if this was a mistake in the date or not, so I added a comma here to specify that this event took place in 1 ABY. Please revise if I am incorrect: "Shortly after the Battle of Yavin, in 1 ABY,"
 * 15) **I was actually using the date to refer to the Battle of Yavin, but as this creates inherent problems, I've now removed the 1 ABY altogether. The source doesn't specify it is within a year of Yavin.
 * 16) * And finally, not an objection, but I moved the non-canon George Lucas book into a "non-canon" subsection, since the non-canon tag notes the item as an "appearance," which isn't technically correct for our purposes. Feel free to format that as you see fit. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:20, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **That's fine. Thanks for the review. --Eyrezer 10:57, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 19) * There's a bit of repetitive language that could be cleaned up. For example, the word droid or droids appears many times in quick succession. Would it be possible to replace a few of these with synonyms, like automaton/automata? The same thing happens with "the fourth planet in the Quockra system, a star system..." with system being the offender. Then climate is repeated in the next couple sentences.
 * 20) * "and most inhabitants of the Minos Cluster were unaware they existed." Is this they the Quockrans or the droids?
 * 21) * Can you stub the researcher who hires the adventurers for the scenario to find the Quockrans? That's it. Nice work. ~ SavageBob 16:10, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Should all be addressed --Eyrezer 11:51, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to for supplying the Monsters and Aliens from George Lucas info. --Eyrezer 09:00, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Bane Malar

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:41, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WTS is back, and this time... it's for money.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well, that was pronto. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:12, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) ~ SavageBob 07:31, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 03:32, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro and the potential Draethos guy
 * 2) * Bio: Was his telepathy a natural trait, or a developed skill? (Probably no source specifies, but just in case)
 * 3) **Natural, which has been added.
 * 4) * Kessel: "his was greatly feared". His what? Or maybe he was?
 * 5) **He was. Fixed.
 * 6) * Corellia: "The only was to remove the droids from the Meatlumps' hideout was to destroy them all" Words missing or something else. Please reword the sentence.
 * 7) **Typo. "The only way"
 * 8) * Tatooine: "Skywalker would somehow cause his death" You mean Malar's death? I initially thought you meant Jabba's death. Suggestion: Specify?
 * 9) **Malar's. Specified.
 * 10) * Tatooine: "The job botched" How was the job botched? We only know Malar had predicted his own death by connecting with Skywalker or something. Was Malar intimidated by this fact?
 * 11) **Reworded.
 * 12) * BTS: Can you mention that SWCCG was released by Decipher, Inc.? Just to avoid any confusion with WotC's SWTCG. Also, when mentioning SWGTCG
 * 13) **Specified.
 * 14) *Insert formula here ·:P Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:03, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks muchly. Thefourdotelipsis 15:09, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 17) *Just a few of things:
 * 18) ** First, "those he returned to confinement were usually haunted by him for a considerable amount of time afterward." I think you mean they were haunted by the memory of him, not Malar himself, but this is Star Wars, where spirits and ghosts and things exist, so it's probably best to clarify.
 * 19) ***Good point. Fixed.
 * 20) **S econd, "Although the character of Bane Malar is believed to have appeared in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi . . . ." Can you rephrase this to be active voice? Who thinks he appeared in ROTJ? If it's the DB entry, just say, "Although the DataBank entry on him claims he appeared in ROTJ..."
 * 21) ***Right you are. Fixed.
 * 22) ** No mention of him in Star Wars Chronicles or Behind the Magic? That's it! The rest is solid. ~ SavageBob 16:18, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***That I do not know. I'll look into it. Thefourdotelipsis 01:37, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Don't worry about it. I SOFIXIT'ed it by checking myself, and there doesn't appear to be any trace of him in either source. Nice article, BTW. ~ SavageBob 07:31, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:06, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * No CSWE entry or Chronicles appearance? --Eyrezer 03:32, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Aargau

 * Nominated by: Imperialles 15:58, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Eh. --Imperialles 15:58, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Yay for planets with too many vowels. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Remember me to never ask you for a loan. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 21:45, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:33, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee attacks...a planet ?!
 * 2) * I miss some info from Boba Fett: Maze of Deception.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:53, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **What specifically do you miss? I'm not going to include the sentence "In 22 BBY, Boba Fett visited the station, ran around some, collected his father's heritage, then left." --Imperialles 17:59, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Not in that way, but a mention of Fett as well as the meeting between Gorga and San Hill should be in there.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:10, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****The Gorga thing was already in there, but I clarified the sentence. What would you like me to add in regards to Boba? He did nothing notable while there (other than observing the aforementioned meeting, information with which he proceeded to ultimately do nothing about) and had no influence on the planet. But I'm open to suggestions, of course. --Imperialles 18:18, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Well I would just include a sentence that Boba Fett came to Aargau and got some of his fathers money.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:10, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ******I heavily disagree with your views on what warrants a mention, but I added a small note stating that he visited the planet. --Imperialles 18:25, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) *******Well if you think it is not important then it is fine now. If one of the Inqs has a problem with that mention, blame it on me.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:33, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Xicer takes a look
 * 10) * If "Aargauun" is the planet's demonym, it should be listed in the infobox.
 * 11) * "Aargau is named for the Swiss canton of Aargau near Switzerland's banking capital, Zürich." Source? You make this sound like a fact. If no source actually states that this planet was specifically named after the real-world Aargau, you should probably change the wording to make it sound less definite.
 * 12) *Otherwise, great. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:00, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Fixed. --Imperialles 18:08, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) You're missing the IBC and Bank of Aargau be placed in the affiliation field.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:26, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *Linked to IBC. Linking to BoA might be a little superfluous, seeing as it was owned and operated by the IBC. --Imperialles 22:28, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) **Well done other than that. I'll give it another, more thorough read soon, but it looks clean. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:40, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Farlstendoiro is impressed only by seeing this article being nominated
 * 18) * Early hist: Please some more conext on the Dawn Pyramid of Aargau?
 * 19) **Added all I could. My Atlas should be arriving in the mail in a couple of days. If I find there's more relevant stuff in there, I'll add it then. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Once you get the Atlas, please scan it for references to Aargau.
 * 21) * If Vicendi included the Dawn Pyramid in his Twenty Wonders as of 10,000 BBY, then the galactic community was at least familiar with Aargau at that point. Could you give that date in the text?
 * 22) **Aargau was discovered earlier than that according to the Atlas. I made it a bit clearer by giving an approximate date. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * Galactic Civil War: Link to the CSA Charter, not only to the CSA. Also, context on it.
 * 24) **Expanded a bit. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * Dates for the Imperial Civil War, please. It is not an widely-known subject.
 * 26) **Fixed and sourced. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) * Later hist: Why did Aargau avoid the destruction wrought by the Yuuzhan Vong War? Was it too remote, too unconsequential, not offenssive enough to Vong eyes...?
 * 28) **That information is gleaned from maps in the Atlas. Aargau is outside the Yuuzhan Vong blob. I am not sure the Atlas explains why. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Inhabitants: "Little is known about the original native people of Aargau" You mean that in-universe, galactic citizens were unaware of that information, right?
 * 30) **You're right, that was not ideally worded. Changed. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * BTS: Authors for the first appearance, please?
 * 32) *Very good work. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:25, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thank you. --Imperialles 08:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) IFYLOFD is here:
 * 35) * Could you give a little context on what the Three Statutes are in the intro?
 * 36) * "not only was it in close proximity to the politically important world of Coruscant, it was also surrounded by trade routes." Such as...?
 * 37) * "It was illegal to export Aargau's rare metals without proper approval, for non-Aargauuns to carry weapons (on the other hand, it was illegal for Aargauun citizens to be unarmed)" Please reword sans parentheses. Statements in parentheses read as casual asides, and therefore are unencyclopedic.
 * 38) * " the lowest, millions of years-old lower levels" Very redundant. Please reword.
 * 39) * "were home to a seedier—though not necessarily criminal by Aargauun standards—element" What exactly is this supposed to mean? What is criminal by Aargauun standards? Clarify.
 * 40) * In the Clone Wars section: A little context on the Separatist Crisis, please.
 * 41) * Context on the Corporate Sector Authority, please.
 * 42) * Context on Darth Vader as well, please.
 * 43) * "Between 10 and 11 ABY, following the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine, a battle between Imperial and New Republic forces was fought on Aargau." Any info on the outcome?
 * 44) *That's all. Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 22:31, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **I believe I have addressed your objections. --Imperialles 23:49, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not really an objection, but templates aren't typically used for Sources lists. Do you have any particular reason for putting them there?  Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:00, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * They were there when I started editing. I didn't put them there, and I don't believe there's a policy either encouraging or discouraging their use. --Imperialles 18:08, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Ah, I wasn't sure. Just checking. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:12, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Implied, if not flat-out stated here. Basically, every "source" is considered a "mentioned only." Thefourdotelipsis 18:13, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Taken care of. --Imperialles 18:19, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Peppi Bow

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:46, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Dave Filoni called her sexy.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) *"Shortly after the beginning of the Clone Wars, the Gungan's herd became skittish when near the eastern swamps, in much the same way they had during the Trade Federation's Invasion of Naboo ten years prior." Why would this be a concern? Clarify.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) *"and after they were captured by Confederate forces," After who were captured? Bow? The politicians? All three? Clarify.
 * 5) **Clarified.
 * 6) *"she noticed a change in her animal's behavior when they neared the eastern swamps" What kind of change? Clarify.
 * 7) **Clarified.
 * 8) *That's it. Good job.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 22:42, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 19:12, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) One thing, "...who returned to the planet to discern the origins of the battle droids". This seems like it could be better worded. Right now, it sounds like they're trying to find the droid's maker (or something like that) rather than where these droids were on the planet. Good job otherwise ^_^  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:27, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *It's been altered. Give it a look-see, and thanks for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 04:35, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added CUSWE link for you.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:41, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Luwingo

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:06, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Chewbacca to Lo Khan's Han Solo.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 21:31, April 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:42, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro: Hck hk hk!
 * 2) * In the intro you say the pirates kidnapped Luwingo's family. In the bio, they kidnap Luwingo's children, which might or might not be all of his family. Please avoid discrepancies.
 * 3) **For some reason, the DESB likes to use "children" and "family" interchangeably. I changed that sentence in the Bio to include the rest of his family as well.
 * 4) * Why was he odd as a smuggler?
 * 5) **Good question, the DESB is also vague on this. Perhaps there weren't many Yaka in that line of work? I don't really want to speculate though.
 * 6) * What the kriff does he speak? . If OS doesn't say, at least you can mention that he spoke something other than Basic but he could understand Basic.
 * 7) **Doesn't say, but I'll add your second suggestion.
 * 8) *"Hdoogkva!" Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:46, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review! Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 16:49, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Duel in the Dathomir landing meadow

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:38, April 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The final event of Backlash; complete with some spoilers regarding the beginning of Allies as well. I give to you another Legacy era/Fate of the Jedi article!

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Awesome.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:00, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 21:59, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Context for Luke Skywalker in the intro.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * Context on the Lost Tribe of Sith in the Prelude section.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Context on Sinkhole Station.
 * 7) **The sentance was quite long-winded when the station was contextified, so I've pipelinked instead.
 * 8) *That's all. Good job.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:05, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review, Floyd. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:18, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Josef Grunger

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:39, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes, that's right... another Grand Admiral!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very good.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 22:27, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) G-stan:
 * 2) *More detail on the reference book appearances, please. Also, the word "sourcebook" is likely incorrect, as that is an RPG term. Unless some sources aren't listed.
 * 3) **My bad; I always thought "sourcebook" and "reference book" were interchangeable. As it stands, there were only two - The Essential Chronology and The New Essential Chronology, both of which have been linked to in the BTS.
 * 4) *Needed a copy-edit, language was kinda hasty. I may have missed things; please go over it again just in case.
 * 5) **Bah. That's what happens when you don't have much time to work on something, I suppose. I went through the article, and I couldn't find anything else.
 * 6) * Graestan ( Talk ) 22:36, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for reviewing this, Grae. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:58, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Sriluur

 * Nominated by: Imperialles 00:11, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Done on a whim after skimming through Grimorg.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Excellent work. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 01:15, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 2) *No mention of the Houk under "Inhabitants"? As colonists to the world, I think something should be said of them here.
 * 3) *The "Behind the scenes" assumes there is a conflict among sources, but is it possible the capital city changed over time? How does that work with the chronology of these sources?
 * 4) *Does the world actually appear or get mentioned in the adventures within Secrets of the Sisar Run, or is it only in background material? If it actually appears, please add the individual adventures to "Appearances". That's just on a quick glance; I'll be back with more when I get a chance to read through thoroughly. Looking forward to it, though! ~ SavageBob 04:25, April 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments