Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Yamarus


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(8 Inqs/0 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 13:30, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Lord Hydronium 03:18, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Fantastic work. Now we need Chris Trevas to draw a picture of Yamarus shaking hands with Cal Omas. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 12:53, 17 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:22, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) I cleaned up what few grammar mistakes I could find. --Imperialles 16:10, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 19:07, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Watch your italics though.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:41, 24 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Queue this mofo. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:27, 5 May 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The biography begins a little suddenly, without even one introductory sentence. I can imagine it confusing people who might not have read the intro. Please remedy. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:13, 13 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *That is pretty glaring. Good idea, I've added an introductory sentence that I think starts the article a bit better. Sing out if it's still a problem, though. Thefourdotelipsis 03:35, 14 April 2008 (EDT)
 * 3) **Looks fine. I'll read the rest of the article later; looks interesting. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:18, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Two minor things:
 * 5) * I presume we do, but I'm just making sure: we know he's male, right? Apparently we don't, but because of his voice it's a safe assumption (and impractical to have a genderless character article, too). A BtS note wouldn't be out of place, though.
 * 6) **He's played by a man, he sounds like a man's man's man...I'm loathe to put a Bts note like that on it. It just seems a bit like overkill.
 * 7) ***He's also played by a human, but you haven't added that to the article. I'm not going to push it and it's no big deal, though, so do as you please.
 * 8) * No mention in the bio of the Liberty 's destruction at Endor? Even if Yamarus wasn't necessary aboard at the time, it should be worth a mention.
 * 9) **Still haven't gotten around to reading this properly, but I will eventually. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:33, 15 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***I've added a bit at the end of the bio. I didn't do it initially since I thought it might raise questions about his death, but I suppose I've addressed that in the BtS. I think. Thefourdotelipsis 08:02, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Needs a source that David Wessman created him. - Lord Hydronium 23:49, 16 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 13) * Please say what Liberty is in the intro.
 * 14) **Done.
 * 15) * Also in the intro, Lenzer and the TIE Experimental Project could use a bit of context.
 * 16) **Done.
 * 17) * Same with the Hurrim.
 * 18) **Done
 * 19) * As well with Tydirium.
 * 20) **Done.
 * 21) * In the bio, it isn't initially mentioned that he commanded a task force with Liberty, then an unestablished task force is alluded to.
 * 22) **Done.
 * 23) * Establish what the Defiance is.
 * 24) **Done.
 * 25) * "Fold" is a metaphoric OOU term, and I don't think it belongs.
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) * "It was the admiral's hope &hellip; Hoping to" is a bit heavy.
 * 28) **Done.
 * 29) * Mention XTS's Imperial connection in "Intelligence and counter-intelligence," if it is stated anywhere in the game.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * Please state Ackbar's significance, and what Independence specifically is.
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "Dunari agreed to aid the Alliance in exchange for escort and aid" – please reword.
 * 34) **Done.
 * 35) * The Hurrim need a bit of set-up in the body.
 * 36) **Done.
 * 37) * State what the Longshot is.
 * 38) **Done.
 * 39) * As well as the Tal'cara.
 * 40) **Done. Thefourdotelipsis 05:15, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:07, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) Toprawa:
 * 43) * Is it really necessary to add the Alliance Fleet subset to this infobox affiliation? Sure, we have some "precedent" that does this, but we have that many more that don't. Looks messy and kind of unnecessary
 * 44) **It's something I've done before...I don't think it's really a problem, it just gives us a bit more specific info up there.
 * 45) * Can we specify what system this facility is located in? "as one of their agents had established that the Bretie Facility"
 * 46) **Done.
 * 47) * Same deal. Please specify what system. I do believe XWA did a nice job of always naming what system levels took place in: "he located Obsidian, Lenzer's center of operations."
 * 48) **No information on that one.
 * 49) * Please specify that the Python is a CR90, IIRC: "Yamarus sent his fighters and the corvette Python"
 * 50) **For the record, this is unnecessary and isn't actually required at all; the links are there to be clicked. I'm going to do it this time, but fair warning: It's not actually legitimate unless the detail rule is stretched.
 * 51) ***While I thank you for complying, I recognize that you and another seem to take great pains in adding this minor element of detail. I dispute the "unnecessariness" of specifying what kind of corvette this is. It can become a bit unwieldy in specifying time and again what class a ship is; however, I do ask that at the very least you would pipelink "CR90" into "corvette"
 * 52) ****Also, I think this is a perfect example of why these things should be specified. I typed the previous message assuming the Python, as a corvette, was a CR90, and only learned otherwise after looking at your change. I, as a reader, assume it is a CR90 just because the Corellian Corvette is, at least from an IU standpoint, the most common type. I shouldn't have to click the link to learn what ship this is. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:17, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) * Same. Please specify what class of ISD the Subjugator is: "Imperial Star Destroyer Subjugator"
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***Again, I will take this opportunity to explain my reasoning. Saying a ship is an "Imperial Star Destroyer" doesn't exactly tell me, the reader, what ship this is. I want to know whether it's an Imp-I, or an Imp-II. You shouldn't rely on linking, i.e. other people, to do your writing for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:17, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * Same. "nearly reached the Star Destroyer Imperator"
 * 57) **See, this one just requires people to hover their mouse over the link. At any rate, fixed.
 * 58) ***Again, that's really all I'm looking for when I say previously all I want is a pipelink, so that way you can hover over a link and learn. Still, in this case, telling me a Star Destroyer is "Imperial-class" doesn't necessarily tell me I or II, though this specific case isn't as unclear.
 * 59) * You refer to the AA23 here as "the" AA23, but in no instances previously. Please choose the correct one and use it throughout for conformity: "the logs he had brought with him on the AA-23"
 * 60) **Removed.
 * 61) * If we know, please pipelink a sector here: "a new base of operations in the sector"
 * 62) **We don't since they begin to jet set.
 * 63) * It may be pertinent to specify here that Black Sun and XTS are all but one in the same. This, of course, relies on what the game specifies Yamarus knew between this connection. I can't remember that, nor can I remember if XTS as publicly linked to Black Sun: "Yamarus found it curious that the information had come from the notorious criminal organization Black Sun,"
 * 64) **Well, the whole point is that no one knew. Legitimate enterprise linked to massive criminal organization? :P
 * 65) ***Fair enough. :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:17, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) * The paragraph beginning "While Skywalker and his team" could use more specific sourcing. You source everything to SOTE, but the very end of that paragraph should really be sourced to XWA.
 * 67) **Nevermind, I got this for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:06, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) * This isn't exactly true. The "crew member" was actually the lone Bothan that had escaped from the Kothlis safehouse with the computer in SOTE, and had escaped off-planet aboard Fey'lya's shuttle. You should specify earlier that Fey'lya delivered the computer and this Bothan to safely earlier on and then clarify this: "one of the Razor ' s crew members was able to escape with the data and make it to the Independence"
 * 69) **Where is this stated? The game implies that it's Fey'lya himself who retrieves the plans. And the crew member certainly isn't Fey'lya.
 * 70) ***Not at all. The info is from XWA itself. This lone Bothan is the whole point of the interconnectivity of SOTE and these levels of XWA. One Bothan escapes Melan's safehouse in SOTE, as referenced to in the game, and then escapes Kothlis aboard Fey'lya's shuttle, where he is then transferred to the Razor, etc. You need to go back and listen to the opening briefing of the "Abandon Rebel Base at Kothlis" XWA level. Do your research, 4dot. You're writing a Featured Article. That I had to go in to look this up for you is pretty bad. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:31, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) ****OK, I've gone back through that briefing, and it all it says is that several Bothans escaped with the computer, one of them made it to a shuttle with the computer, and will be contacting the Alliance (the Bothan is shown to be Fey'lya in the level itself) and then it says that the computer will be transferred to the Razor. Are you sure you've got the right level there? Thefourdotelipsis 00:50, 25 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) *****I respectfully invite you to discuss this with me in IRC. :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:17, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) * Please specify ship class. Marauder, IIRC: "with the aid of the Mercury"
 * 74) **Fixed.
 * 75) ***Yeah, Dreadnaught is right. Not sure why I thought it was Mercury'...
 * 76) * This makes it seem like Holtz commanded the entire Imperial presence in the entire Outer Rim, and I don't believe this was the case. Please reword to say what presence, specifically, he commanded: "Admiral Garreth Holtz was in charge of the Imperial presence in the Outer Rim Territories"
 * 77) **Fixed.
 * 78) *Very smooth read. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:02, 18 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 79) **Thank you very much. Thefourdotelipsis 22:44, 18 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

I presume there's no picture because no picture exists. Is there a picture of some object associated with him which could be used as a placeholder in the template anyway? &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 14:13, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * No, nothing at all, to my knowledge. We've got a couple of FAs without images in the template, so it's no biggie. Thefourdotelipsis 14:16, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I guess I'm thinking more about the image we'd put on the front page when it gets featured. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 14:17, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * We wouldn't have one. It does look a bit boring, but it's happened before, and it's only for a day. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:21, 12 April 2008 (UTC)