Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Sylvar


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(7 Inqs/4 Users/11 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 04:44, 23 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 19:12, 25 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 00:33, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Very interesting.  Chack Jadson  Talk 00:35, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 21:10, 27 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Livingston  [[Image:Jedi Order2.jpg|25px]] ( The Force will be with you. Always. ) 16:31, 2 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) --  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 07:48, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 8)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:49, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 9)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 19:19, 8 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) Cull Tremayne 01:02, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) Imperialles 14:22, 12 October 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) " As the Sith Lords departed the Hall, Sylvar was comforted by Nomi and Cay. Her master was no more." - This strikes me as the wrong tone. Also, a few sentences earlier, you call Kun's powers "Impressive". Which strikes me as POV. Thefourdotelipsis 09:11, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *Sentences revamped.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 14:24, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) The sentence "It is a true testament to his highly developed dueling skills that Ulic Qel-Droma was able to hold off Sylvar's attacks without having access to the force" in Powers and Abilities seems out of place. I know what you mean, but it sounds like you're talking about Ulic. Rephrase it, and you'll have my support.  Chack Jadson  Talk  19:08, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) *Rephrased.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 19:40, 24 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) From the lair of Hobbes15
 * 6) * In the intro, "cruelly" seems like POV to me.
 * 7) **Changed to "mercilessly," which only states that Kun was not showing mercy, and not delving into his intentions.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) ***That's good. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 21:43, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) * Also in the intro, can a little more mention be given on Crado's death, and the squabbling and such that took place causing it (i.e. Ambria and Ossus detail)
 * 10) **Sentence added.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) * And finally, mention Qel-Droma's death in the intro, as it's pretty important in the last part of Sylvar's story.
 * 12) **Sentence added; though it does kill the flow and effect of the intro.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Hmmm... I guess you're right. If you don't think it should be there, feel free to take it out, cause it does kind of sound better without it.
 * 14) * In the first paragraph of The Great Sith War, was Sylvar on Ossus during these events?
 * 15) **It is not said. She is nowhere to be seen. I wasn't going to make a conjecture statement regarding her whereabouts.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) ***No problem, then.
 * 17) * "... but someone else did not" (The Trial of Ulic Qel-Droma)? Who?
 * 18) **Master Vodo. Read the first sentence of the next paragraph. It's a stylistic thing.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) *** Yes, I know, but from what I know of TOTJ, Vodo had very little to do with Qel-Droma in that scene, focusing his attention on Kun. It says Cay refused to kill his brother, but someone else did not&mdash; not Kun. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 21:43, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Clarified, consarnit!&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 12:09, 27 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 21) *That's all on this one, Graestan. Glad I could get the critique to you before your vacation. And I like the P&A quote. ;) . Much more interesting story than Crado, in my opinion. Good work. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 04:57, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) **Thanks for your input.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:50, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) Could a brief mention of Vodo's attempts to shield Kun with the lightside en route to Deneba be mentioned, and Sylvar's coming to his aid? Other than that, an excellent read; good work.--  AdmirableAckbar  [Talk] 15:29, 26 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) *Addressed and added. Greyman ( Paratus ) 02:52, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 25) From the battered desk of Atarumaster88
 * 26) * Let's shorten the end of the intro enough. It's enough to know that Qel-Droma's death was instrumental in redeeming her. Save the heavy detail for the main body.
 * 27) **I think the new version is better; take a look.
 * 28) * Crado gave? (2nd para of The Krath conflict) I've never read TOTJ but this makes no sense.
 * 29) **Clarified/reworded.
 * 30) * Powers and abilities- it would be nice if it had some information on other things besides her ability to kick butt. Is she a noted Force user? Does she have any particular Cathar hunting abilities?
 * 31) **Section on her tracking and stealth skills added. Great idea; thanks.
 * 32) * Reword last sentence of third paragraph of The Great Sith War. It reads awkwardly. And "ready as ever" sounds so cheesy in this context.
 * 33) **Is the new one better?
 * 34) * Reduce redundancy in the Conclave on Exis Station section. 1st Para: Sylvar was pissed at Ulic. 3rd para: Sylvar told everyone exactly how pissed she was at Ulic.
 * 35) **Taken care of.
 * 36) * While the piece/peace alliteration is quite clever, I don't think that sentence belongs in there. I don't think she was searching for peace. She was searching for vengeance.
 * 37) **See what I've added instead. Wow, that was very limerickish of me.
 * 38) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:10, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 39) ***Thank you.&mdash; Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 01:17, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 40) A few image objections:
 * 41) * Image:Sylvarcathar.jpg&mdash;would it be possible to get a better scan of this? Preferably without the .jpg artifacts.
 * 42) * Image:Sylvararmor.jpg could be cropped, unless you feel the end of the lightsaber hilt absolutely has to remain.
 * 43) **Fixed. Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:16, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 44) * Image:Sylvardace.JPG&mdash;requires cropping as the comic frame is visible in the lower left corner.
 * 45) **Got it. Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 01:28, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 46) * Image:Sylvarspeech.jpg needs to be rescanned and cropped.
 * 47) **Fixed. Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:16, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * 48) * Image:Sylvarryloth.jpg needs to be rescanned, without the .jpg artifacts.
 * 49) * Image:Sylvarulic.jpg needs to be rescanned due to .jpg artifacts.
 * 50) * Image:Sylvarbitter.jpg needs to be cropped (the comic frame is visible).
 * 51) **Fixed. Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:16, 9 October 2007 (UTC)
 * Other than that, excellent work. You'll have my support once these minor issues have been corrected. --Imperialles 13:25, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Comments

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 18:23, 12 October 2007 (UTC)