Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mission to Tatooine (Separatist Crisis)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Mission to Tatooine (Separatist Crisis)
> JangFett  Talk 01:04, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: A off TCW project, though related to the Clone Wars :)

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) As problems were addressed - very good job expanding since I last saw it.  The Flash  {talk} 00:47, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Well, it has greately expanded, and it earns the title of good article. It's only shortage is that there isn't any image about the battle itself.--Kreivi Wolter 07:23, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 22:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 22:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 22:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) As for the Duel on Mustafar, please make sure you have every appearance and source covered. Any mention of the death of Shmi qualifies as at least an indirect mention, and as this had an extremely lasting impression of Skywalker, I'm quite sure there's more.  CC7567  (talk) 01:41, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed and added few more appearences/sources. However, Anakin/Vader's attachment problem can get squeezed out of most of the EU sources. Massacre on Tatooine mentioned few times during the Clone Wars. I'll try to find more appearances.
 * 3) **I would advise you to check every single source and appearance with Skywalker that has even the slightest mention. If some are not available to you, I would suggest trying to find people who do have access to them.  CC7567  (talk) 05:21, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) A little more for now:
 * 5) * Is this a mission, a "massacre" or something else? The layout of events isn't clear. It needs to be clarified what happened during the event and what happened in the prelude.
 * 6) **Addressed and fixed the intro.
 * 7) ***I just want to clarify with you that it's the whole article itself, not just the intro.  CC7567  (talk) 02:29, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Addressed and added a ending sentence in the Prelude that states "they went on a mission to Tatooine to find his mother." The "Mission to Tatooine" section was a mission to find Skywalker's mother, but the mission turned into a massacre once his mother died in his arms in the Tusken camp. I addressed that in "Reunited and Massacre".
 * 9) * Please just run another check for spelling and grammar. In particular, I'm still seeing a lot of uses of unnecessary present-tense verbs.  CC7567  (talk) 02:12, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Did another run through and caught few spelling errors as well as present-tense verbs.
 * 11) ***Olioster helped with this objection as well by fixing up spelling, present-tense and grammar issues :)
 * 12) ****I'm striking this for now, but I will continue to go over this with you when I review it in the future.
 * 13) * The article is too subsectioned. Three of the four sections of the Mission header are only one paragraph; please merge them somewhere. Also, please note that if you merge one or more of the sections, image placement will need more work.
 * 14) **Addressed <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Unless it has a new section (which it doesn't and does not require), the quote regarding the "Vengeful Tusken Raider" in the Aftermath should not be there.
 * 2) **I don't know who added that in, but it I removed it. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) A few notes
 * 2) * In the very beginning of the introduction, I suggest changing it from "The Mission" to "This mission to Tatooine". Also, in the prelude section, it mentions Amidala was receiving death threats. While true, you should also note that these threats also escalated into actual attempts on her life (Obi-Wan and Anakin weren't sent to protect her until after the assassination attempt on the landing platform in the opening of Episode II), so a minor re-arranging of that part might be best. Other than a few other minor grammatical problems, it looks good.  OLIOSTER  (talk) Sith_Emblem.svg 17:54, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) ***Looks good.  OLIOSTER  (talk) Imperial Emblem.svg 05:24, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Two problems:
 * 6) * In the infobox, linking to Tusken Raiders twice seems unnecessary.
 * 7) **Addressed
 * 8) * Isn't Star Wars Manga considered ambig. canon? If so, an ambig tag should be placed before and after the reference to Tao and the vengeful Tusken.
 * 9) **Addressed
 * 10) *Other than that, nice job.  The Flash  {talk} 21:49, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review :)
 * 12) Mauser:
 * 13) *Like CC7567 said, you're missing a lot of appearances and sources, as well as info from them. Amongst the important sources that provide lots of new info concerning that event are: Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (novel), Star Wars Republic 59: Enemy Lines, Tatooine Ghost, and you have no info from any of them whatsoever. There are also various other minor sources that have to be checked. Before you do that, fixing all minor objecions is almost pointless in my opinion.  Mauser  Comlink 11:12, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Will look up newer sources, but added Tatooine Ghost in the aftermath. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Comments
 * Nominator requested its removal in IRC, and an AC consensus was obtained also through IRC.  CC7567  (talk) 02:36, 4 July 2009 (UTC)