Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Vindication


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Vindication

 * Nominated by:  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 04:29, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'd like to thank Tommy9281 for helping to walk me through the process for my first FAN

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Good job.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:30, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few, for you&hellip;
 * 2) * The infobox needs to be completely sourced.
 * 3) * I don't think whether or not Draay was a Jedi Guardian has any relevance to the commanders part of the infobox.
 * 4) * According to the KotOR Campaign Guide, these Covenant members were called "Covenanters". Try adding that.
 * 5) * You don't have to do put sources like this,, at every paragraph. Just do it as normal. The example should only be used for the infobox.
 * 6) * I would put Gryph's full surname in the article every time I mention him, not just "Gryph".
 * 7) * Unless the same paragraph mentions Krynda, calling Lucien "Draay" would bea good idea. Use the character's surnames, such as Carrick, throughout the article after you mention their full name for the first time.
 * 8) * If I'm not mistaken, the Jedi Council gave Carrick a new lightsaber. In #35, when he meets Jarael and Hierogryph after talking with the Council, he has this lightsaber.
 * 9) * The Citeweb template should be used for reference 13. Here's a list of the templates.
 * 10) *That's all I can think of, take care of these, and I'll run through the article again.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:40, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **I think I got them all  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 01:16, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Nayayen
 * 13) * There is some serious under-linking throughout. There should be links once in: the infobox, image captions, the intro & the rest of the article.
 * 14) ** Addressed
 * 15) ***You didn't really get most of it, I've got it for you though. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  09:38, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * In "Death of a visionary" there are some places that you need to check are NPOV.
 * 17) ** Addressed
 * 18) * In "Final confrontation" you need to mention that it was Lucien who "suddenly [threw them] far away" with the Force.
 * 19) ** Addressed
 * 20) * Bts: "Miller used this event to kill off . . . and send Zayne Carrick towards new adventures." This needs a source, JJM's blog should have what you need.
 * 21) ** Addressed
 * 22) * As does the paragraph mentioning ROTJ.
 * 23) ** Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 23:52, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *I'll have some more when I come back from my Wookieevacation. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:03, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **I'm on my own Wookieecation at the moment, I'll address it when I return on Sunday.
 * 26) *Alrighty, I promised some more so here we go:
 * 27) * Link to Showdown in the Draay Estate in last part of "History".
 * 28) ** Addressed
 * 29) * In "The Insurrection", add the fact that Haazen could control the Vanjervalis chain because the Draay Trust bought the company.
 * 30) ** I'm trying to find a way to do it without messing up the flow
 * 31) *** Addressed
 * 32) * Relate Xamar's death to the Rogue Moon prophesy; it came true for him.
 * 33) ** Addressed
 * 34) * There should be context on how the Gauntlet of Kressh worked; it forbid people to touch the wearer without their consent et cetera.
 * 35) ** Addressed
 * 36) * Last sentence of this section, I don't see a Force Push in the comic except when he pushed Hierogryph away.
 * 37) ** I meant that Zayne unleashed a Force push on Lucien, edited it to reflect that more
 * 38) ***You've clarified who it was but I still don't see it in the comic. Either Carrick doesn't Force push anyone or I'm missing a page from my copy (which has happened before). Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 08:44, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "Death of a Visionary" now. You must add that Zayne, initially the one to find Krynda, told Hierogryph to find her.
 * 41) ** Addressed
 * 42) * The two didn't arrive at the same time. Hierogryph noticed the Jedi guards and droids killed/destroyed by Q'Anilla when they wouldn't let her see him.
 * 43) ** Addressed
 * 44) ***You haven't mentioned the guards/droids being killed/destroyed. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ****I really don't think it's needed, and it really screws up the flow of the article.
 * 46) ***** Addressed 08:44, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * "Hierogryph also recognized that..." This is the first time that you say he recognized something, reword this.
 * 48) ** Addressed
 * 49) * He realized that Krynda was probably alive because he recognized that the oubliette was like the oubliette on Jebble.
 * 50) ** Addressed
 * 51) * You should mention that it was Haazen's intervention of putting Krynda in the oubilette that meant she couldn't tell the First WatchCircle to stop on account of her vision of the Padawan Massacre.
 * 52) ** Addressed
 * 53) * In "Final Confrontation", "A sudden Force push knocked him off the balcony and near the foot of Barrison Draay's statue." Mention that Haazen was there already and what he was doing.
 * 54) ** Addressed
 * 55) * Surely File:SWKOTOR34.jpg or File:Lucienandzayne.jpg could be included somewhere around here, their duel is one of the main parts of the Vindication arc.
 * 56) ** Addressed
 * 57) * The duel part here seems a little too play-by-play for my liking. I mean, is the cloak slicing incident (cool as it looked in the comic) really needed in the article?
 * 58) ** Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 05:49, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) *That should be all of it, enjoy. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:21, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * One last one: make a note of how JJM saw this as the Covenant's Watergate affair. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  23:02, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ** Addressed

Comments
 * Am I the only one of the opinion that Showdown in the Draay Estate should be merged into Vindication? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:14, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Tommy and I have had this discussion a lot. As he's mostly taken over that particular article, I'll leave it up to him  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 00:31, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I see. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I would like to hear reasoning from both of you, PointGiven and Tommy, because as it stands, the only thing I can see that divides the two events is a code word.  CC7567  (talk) 04:37, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * My reason is that the events of Showdown in the Draay Estate were Zayne, Gryph and the Jedi Council's attempt to infiltrate and destroy the Covenant. Vindication on the other hand, is chiefly Haazen's power grab to create his own army. He just so happened to issue the command after the Jedi assault.  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 19:27, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * That's all a tad fuzzy to me. I'd like to see a more in depth and comprehensive explanation with some sort of backing quotes or whatever from the comic itself, cause from where I'm standing there's no actual distinction between this and the events of the Vindication article, and in my opinion there should be one article for the events and one for the codeword (which is, unless I'm missing somewhere, all "Vindication" is) which would be considerably smaller. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * My TPB isn't with me at the moment, but I will have an answer for you by next weekend  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 22:06, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * From the current articles, Showdown in the Draay Estate is the infiltration of the Draay estate by Carrick, Gryph & Xamar leading up to Haazen initiating the Vindication codeword. "Showdown" then leads into the Vindication article which is then the ensuing events of the codeword. "Showdown" is essentially issues 31 & 32 wheras "Vindication" is (the end of) issue 32 (initiating Vindication), (all of) 34 & 35. Issue 33 doesn't actually advance either; it is more a biography of Haazen. My opinion is that the current content of "Vindication" would be merged with "Showdown" and that "Vindication" would then be an article for the codeword. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:05, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * That's actually not a bad idea, which was the original intent of PG and myself. I'm for whatever course of action is ultimately decided. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:20, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm fine with that as well PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 05:49, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * The most likely reason for this nomination's inactivity (as well as that of the Showdown in the Draag Estate) is that basically everyone is waiting for both of you, Tommy and PointGiven, to carry out the merge, as you are both the nominators of the articles. The final decision basically rests in both of your hands, and I don't know what you're waiting for. The request for a merge is technically an objection, and if it's to be treated as such, both articles are already sitting two weeks idle. Please execute the merge as soon as possible so that people can have the opportunity to review the new article. I can't imagine that people will want to review your work until the articles are merged, as many users (myself included) do not like to have to review something twice.  CC7567  (talk) 06:38, October 2, 2009 (UTC)