Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Ryssk


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Ryssk

 * Nominated by: SinisterSamurai 17:36, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I could never hold onto Asia.

(1 ECs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Darth Karika  will destroy your planet! 03:30, February 4, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2) Start with Australia! Actually, better yet, play Catan instead. Menkooroo 17:28, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) Take Park Place and Boardwalk! Pamper your enemies with the finest of hotels! NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:45, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) I don't play any game without a pop-o-matic bubble. ~ SavageBob 16:29, February 12, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Star Forge
 * 2) * Context on Mika Anjiliac Chiera.
 * 3) **Done. SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) * "Era" means publishing era, in this case Rise of the Empire era.
 * 5) **Changed the infobox, which is what I assume you mean. CSWE specifically says early ears of the New Order. For the sake of accuracy, the Bts bit shouldn't be changed. SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 6) * No mention is given of when Ryssk worked for Mika in the body of the article.
 * 7) **Added SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 8) * Context on Tempest Feud.
 * 9) **Added SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 10) * Maybe context on Dosh.  Darth Karika  will destroy your planet! 04:12, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) **Dosh's context is that it is something that can be spoken. SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) * "In the early years of the Galactic Empire" is currently sourced to Tempest Feud.  Darth Karika  will destroy your planet! 22:30, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * 13) **I am ashamed to have missed that. SinisterSamurai 01:15, February 4, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) Crossed the Rubecon
 * 15) * "Ryssk was an apt pilot, navigator, and mechanic, was proficient in stealth and demolitions, and spoke both Galactic Basic Standard and Dosh" This is a triple "and." Break it up.
 * 16) **How's that? A quick Google search indicates that there are almost no correct alternatives for "and" when using it to link nouns and noun phrases in a lsit. SinisterSamurai 16:56, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 17) ***How you do it doesn't matter, there shouldn't be more than one in a sentence; two at the most, and only when dealing with a lengthier list. For an example, you may say "he was a skilled pilot and mechanic, as well as a demolitions specialist" in some other article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:07, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 18) **** No, I meant: "How does that change I made suit you?" I broke a single sentence with three lists into two sentences. Still three lists (Skills, skill-titles, and languages) between them. SinisterSamurai 21:31, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) *****Your solution was fine. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:45, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 20) * "Tempest Feud, an adventure published for Wizards of the Coast's roleplaying game in early 2002, is written to take place in any era." Connect this sentence to Ryssk's appearance in the source. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:32, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
 * 21) **Rearranged. Ryssk's connection to TF is detailed before Era discussion, rather than after. SinisterSamurai 16:56, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Does his gender neutrality really deserve its own "paragraph"? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:07, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 23) ****I felt it was worth mentioning that "he" doesn't have a canon gender. 1, as a way of explaining to the reader/reviewer why I don't use "He" or "She" in the article, and 2 because I felt it was a notable fact. I gave it its own paragraph because I don't recognize it as being part of the same point about whether or not Ryssk hunted the players, nor as part of the point about when the adventure took place. I understood that to be a requirement for what necessitates a separate paragraph. Is that not correct? SinisterSamurai 21:31, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 24) * You need to say this took place in the early years of the Galactic Empire in the body. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:09, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 25) **It does say that in the body, unless I'm misunderstanding you. SinisterSamurai 21:35, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Sorry, I missed it because of the break. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 21:45, February 7, 2011 (UTC)
 * 27) Just one thing: Can we glean anything meaningful from his/her stats? Does he/she excel in any skills or abilities? If so, might be worth mentioning. ~ SavageBob 06:28, February 11, 2011 (UTC)
 * 28) *I figure I've already incorporated all of the noteworthy stuff. The "narrative" doesn't provide much information aside from Ryssk's ship and suggestions about how to make an impression with him/her, (Showing up when it's not convenient for the players). The statblock gives the equipment/weapon list, the languages, and lists a few skills as being at least +10 (skills that, from my experience with the system, could essentially be considered "honed"). S/He's got a few "skill masteries," a few standard class-related abilities ("Trailblazing", "Uncanny Dodge"), a species ability (Darkvison) that all Trandoshans get, and a few standard feats that WotC likes to use to keep their NPCs from getting killed by scrapped knees and such (Toughness, Track, Weapon/Starship Proficiencies). SinisterSamurai 09:55, February 11, 2011 (UTC)
 * 29) ** I'll trust you to incorporate as much of that as you feel is pertinent (perhaps the honed and/or mastery stuff, but again, use your judgment). The languages at the very least should perhaps get mentioned; most biographies of polyglots in the real world will give a line or two about such things. ~ SavageBob 16:23, February 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 30) **Whoops; realized you already did this. :) ~ SavageBob 16:29, February 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 31) You're at 239 words, but this could&mdash;and should&mdash;easily be made to reach over 250. Add a small intro, turn the current intro into the bio, and maybe even add a small equipment section, and you have yourself a GAN.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 16:59, February 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * 32) *I have rearranged the article according to the layout guide, as would be required to bring this to GA. Current word count is 238. (After a further review, The source uses "Scout," rather than "Bounty Hunter.") There is no additional Ryssk-specific information to be added. With the exception of the RPG stat-block/skill block (Intro/S&A/Equip), Ryssk has two sentences dedicated to him/her in one what-if side-bar of a 130 page adventure (Bio). (I only consider Ryssk canon because of the statblock's existence outside of the side-bar/narrative. This is also why I consider Tempest Feud a Source, rather than an Apperance.) However, if you feel that expansion is still the way to go, I could add a little fluff, be a little less succinct, and maybe look for some sources on general (non-specific) Trandoshan qualities, (such as the ability to see in infrared) to toss in and bring up the word count. SinisterSamurai 19:10, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 33) **I believe you misunderstood my request. You should never, ever add "fluff" to an article to extend its word count. I've taken the liberty of providing an example of what to do in this case. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 20:06, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Thank you. I had been under the impression that ambiguous canon information was not allowed in an intro. However, your wording is quite lovely. SinisterSamurai 21:00, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 35) * I do have a couple more quick objections: you begin the S&A with "Considered capable&hellip;" Considered capable at what? You go on to say "Ryssk was an apt pilot, navigator&hellip;" etc. You are either repeating yourself, or else he was considered capable at something else. Which is the case?
 * 36) *Clarified. SinisterSamurai 21:00, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 37) * Also, in the bio: were the moments inopportune for Ryssk, or for the spacers? If they were inopportune for the spacers, then they were opportune for Ryssk, were they not? Please clarify.
 * 38) **Clarified. SinisterSamurai 21:00, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 39) *The article is now at 288 words. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 20:06, February 13, 2011 (UTC)
 * 40) **Feel free to remove this as a CAN. SinisterSamurai 21:00, February 13, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * According to Cut & Paste Word Count, the article content is 236 words long. SinisterSamurai 17:36, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * If you add some context, address the objections and add an intro, the article will be more then 250, so eligible for being a short GA. Darth Morrt 11:36, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * Current count is 246. I feel that an introduction would simply be repetitious. In Tempest Feud, Ryssk is one part of a short paragraph and a single statblock. I promise you that the IU information in the article is already stretched to the limit, short of additional context. And context is something I'm wary of. I have other articles where entire paragraphs are used simply to establish context. Since it is something that could be added almost infinitely, small articles can be easily drowned by context. (What is a grenade? What is an ion? What is a Hutt? What is a hyperdrive? What is the Empire? What is a Palpatine? What is a bounty hunter? What is a Trandoshan? Why is your article on Galactic history titled after such a minor part of it?) SinisterSamurai 15:07, February 3, 2011 (UTC)
 * Most recent count is 235. SinisterSamurai 16:57, February 7, 2011 (UTC)