Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Ordo Skirata


 * The following discussion is an ongoing good article nomination for Ordo Skirata.

Object . I don't know why we do it like that, but it's the precedent.
 * 1) Grunny's preliminary look
 * 2) *Before I get into the depth of the article, at a glance:
 * 3) ** Infobox needs to be completely sourced.
 * 4) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ** Intro paragraphs should be combined into two paragraphs, to clean it up.
 * 6) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ** "It is not known whether he lived to a ripe old age but chances are he may have, as his brother Jaing was still alive by 40 ABY; openly admitting that they did find a way to stop their accelerated aging." This is speculative and OR, clean it up so it only provides information given in the source.
 * 8) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 00:37, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ** You should combine some of the the shorter paragraphs in the Bio. For example, the first two paragraphs in "Training and childhood" should really be combined.
 * 10) ***Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ** Over/underlinking: Make sure you link once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 12) ***Question: If something has already been linked on the article body, there's no need to link it again somewhere down further correct?--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Correct :). Check through for instances of overlinking.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:25, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Another question though. Is the biography part separate from the BTS, Personality and traits and talents part? Meaning if I linked something in the bio, do I still have to link then anew on those other parts? --ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ******No, the biography, P&t, talents, and Bts are all part of the article body so you only need to link once in the intro and once in the article body :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:42, 12 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *******That explains a lot. Fixed. --ToRsO bOy 20:24, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ********Found one or two more overlinks so as I'll strike this objection after I've worked through the whole article :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:33, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ** Check for superfluous references.
 * 19) ***Trimmed those down to two instead of three. Is that ok?--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Not exactly what I meant; I meant check through for instances where you reference the same source twice in a row, though I think I just removed the last ones :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:25, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *I'll read the article in depth soon :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 07:26, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **Much thanks.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Good work so far. I'll review the article fully soon :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:25, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) Soresu
 * 25) * Some things in the infobox are unsourced.
 * 26) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * You can't prove that Ordo was born in 32 BBY, unless it was specifically stated. (see a number of clone GA/FA's.)
 * 28) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * A bit of info is required on how the Nulls were created (who, what, when, where, why) at the beginning of the biography.
 * 30) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 00:37, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Change 'unfortunately' to something else. It's slightly POV to use such words.
 * 32) ****Removed. --ToRsO bOy 00:05, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Context on Kal Skirata, Battle of Geonosis
 * 34) **Can you elaborate a bit? I'm not sure I understand. --ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***You need to explain what they are, so that the reader doesn't have to click through to the page to learn that information. For example, Ordo and the Nulls were deployed along with majority of the clone troopers at the Battle of Geonosis. You need to tell us a bit about the battle. I would suggest something similar to ...Battle of Geonosis, the opening battle of the war between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:22, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ****Gotcha. Added. --ToRsO bOy 00:05, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * You've used the quote template which bolds the speaker's name. Most articles use
 * 1) **Will do. Though I saw some other GA's with bolded quotes.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) * The Jedi Master went in to negotiate the release of the hostages but was caught with a hidden strip-cam. His booby-trapped body was tossed out of the front door where it exploded. Okay, he was detected by a hidden device. Then you suddenly jump to him being booby-trapped and thrown out the front door. Is there a missing sentence about him being captured and having a bomb placed in his body?
 * 3) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * This is a shoot-to kill policy. It isn't shoot-to-kill?
 * 5) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * There he met Supervisor Besany Wennen, who at that time was also working undercover. Did Ordo actually know she was undercover?
 * 7) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * in order to hunt Chief Scientist Ko Sai. Chief scentist of what?
 * 9) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * In 'Return to Tipoca city', you jump to extracting Mereel and his data on cloning without first stating their intentions to slow down the aging process.
 * 11) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *I will do the rest soon, I just saved this so Grunny doesn't steal my job :-). SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:32, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Much appreciated.--ToRsO bOy 12:40, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu's review continues
 * 15) * All of the Nulls would again meet months later at Laseema's apartment due to Jaing Skirata's spy program being discovered in the Treasury computer networks. What spy program? This was never said earlier in the Bio
 * 16) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Aliit, then. Our clan." What is aliit?
 * 18) **Changed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ***Oh, my apologies. That was more of a question than an objection. I was just wondering what aliit meant. The quote is better with that line on, sorry about that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Context on Ovolot Qail Uthan and Arla Fett.
 * 21) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Ordo tried vainly to resuscitate her but to no avail. Vainly is redundant.
 * 23) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * They all arrived safely on Mandalore Are we forgetting about Etain? ?
 * 25) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Despite being extremely lethal and dangerous, Ordo's sole weakness was his vulnerability to the approval of Skirata. POV
 * 27) **Question: It was stated explicitly in the novel. Does that still count? Reworded.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***The rewording seems to have removed the POV. When it's stated in the novel, that's pretty much what you should try and do. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * You could add some things into the P&T, such as his capacity for love (evidenced by marriage), his belief in Mandalorian customs (marriage ceremony), and his indifference to killing others (such as when he shot Lemmeloth in the head, and when he left Zey to die.
 * 30) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * Ordo was an even better soldier compared to a regular clone trooper Better is POV.
 * 32) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * In talents and abilities, you should note his ability to use different firearms such as the Verpine, and his combat training, which made him an able fighter (evidenced by events such as the hostage seige).
 * 34) **Added.--ToRsO bOy 02:34, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * Bts expansion. I'm sure there's more info out there.
 * 36) **I honestly don't know what else to add or where I can find them. Do you have any suggestions? I thought I'd look into Karen's blogs but all of them have been discontinued. --ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) ***Well, Bts review was never my strength, but you could mention something about the other sources, such as O66 and True Colors expanding on his later life. I'm really not sure what else there is on him, but any sort of info about his developent and any canon discrepancies should also go here. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ****Added more info. --ToRsO bOy 00:28, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * The last paragraph of the Bts needs to be sourced.
 * 40) **Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *Not bad for a first go, especially considering the size of the article. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:54, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * I can't believe I only realised this just now. Shouldn't the article name be Null-11? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:12, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) **I raised a similar question but got nowhere. --ToRsO bOy 23:55, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) ***In that thread, you said that his full name Ordo Skirata was used in the book. If that is true, (sorry, I haven't read the book) then the article doesn't need to be moved. Cylka  -talk- 02:27, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ****As far as I can recall he hasn't been referred to by his full name yet. Sorry for the misunderstanding but what I meant in that thread was he and Jaing were the only two Nulls that have their full name on their Wookieepedia pages. Jaing is the only that's been referred to by his full name on Sacrifice.--ToRsO bOy 04:51, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***** So, will this be moved to Null-11? And per my and Cylka's posts in the comments section, you should use first names in this article, since there are multiple Skiratas. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 05:31, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Is that even necessary? I don't mean to start a debate but he's already deserted the GAR so we know he won't be using N-11 anymore. He's also been formally adopted by Kal so there shouldn't any problems with his full name being used. Btw, already changed all the Skiratas into Kal. --ToRsO bOy 11:45, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) *******I see your reasoning. Just two remaining objections from me left. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:34, 7 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *******I've already addressed the BT part. What's the other objection I've missed? --ToRsO bOy 00:28, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) ********No, you already got it. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 09:02, 11 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) Grunny Part Deux:
 * 52) *Intro:
 * 53) ** Jango Fett needs some context.
 * 54) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ** Kal Skirata needs a little context.
 * 56) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ** Order 66 needs context.
 * 58) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) ** For clarity, you need to connect the Confederacy of Independent Systems to the Clone Wars as the opponents of the GAR.
 * 60) ***Connected.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ** Besany Wennen also needs some context as to who she was.
 * 62) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) *Bio – Training and childhood
 * 64) ** You need to mention his name as Null-11 and that he was also known as Ordo at the start of the Bio.
 * 65) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) ** You need to mention that he was an Advanced Recon Commando and a Null-class Advanced Recon Commandos. There should be no information in the intro that isn't covered in the article body.
 * 67) ***I added the Null part on the bio; while the Arc bit on the Arca Barracks siege section as I deemed it more appropriate.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Fair enough :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:22, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) ** Jango Fett needs some context.
 * 70) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) ** Orun Wa needs some context, i.e. "Kaminoan scientist Orun Wa" or something similar.
 * 72) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) ** Darman needs context.
 * 74) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ** Boba Fett needs some context.
 * 76) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ** "Their test scores were too high to be measured but psychological tests indicated they were unstable and too insubordinate to be used in combat." This could be worded better. What are the first test scores?
 * 78) ***Reworded.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ** "They were the prototypes for the Grand Army of the Republic." This could probably be combined into the first sentence for a more complex writing style.
 * 80) ***Fixed--ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) ** There are a few short choppy sentences like the one above (i.e. "Fett and Kal were informed by Orun Wa of the Null's impending termination. Kal opposed the decision and began arguing to spare them." and "The Nulls were sequestered from the other clones under Kal's care."); for a better writing style try to combine or expand some of them.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:22, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) ***Added--ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) *Bio - The Clone Wars - Arca Barracks siege
 * 84) ** You mention the Cone Wars in the title but you need to mention it explicitly in the text. It is an important event that should be named explicitly.
 * 85) ***Added.--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) ** "The six of them started a siege on the Special Forces SO Brigade HQ Barracks, managing to hold off special operation squads and the Coruscant Security Force." It needs more clarification as to why they would siege a Republic Barracks.
 * 87) ***Fixed--ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) **** "The Nulls showed their refusal by shutting down the Special Forces SO Brigade HQ Barracks and starting an armed siege." I think this could be worded better, maybe something like "Not content with their dismissal" or whatever makes the most sense in explaining why they would siege a Republic barracks.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:22, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) *****Fixed.--ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) ****** This sentence is proving troublesome :P: "The Nulls were terrified of being chilled down and showed their refusal by shutting down the Special Forces SO Brigade HQ Barracks" Why would they be terrified of being chilled down?  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:42, 12 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) *******It wasn't exactly stated why. Kal just gave a vague explanation along the lines of "you need to understand what happened to them as kids.". In order to avoid speculating, would using this line work? "The Nulls were terrified of being chilled down and put into stasis, similar to the Alpha-class ARC prior to the Battle of Kamino. They showed their refusal by shutting down the Special Forces SO Brigade HQ Barracks" --ToRsO bOy 20:24, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) ********Yes, that should work :-). Remember to reference the info about the Alpha's to the appropriate source.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:33, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) *********Added the source.--ToRsO bOy 17:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) *I'll review in sections; right now though, make sure everything has context on its first mention.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:37, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) **Thanks again--ToRsO bOy 23:51, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) *Bio - The Clone Wars - Galactic City spaceport hostage siege
 * 97) ** "The situation took a turn for the worse with the death of Jedi Master Kaim. The Jedi Master went in to negotiate the release of the hostages but was caught with a hidden strip-cam. The hostage takers retaliated by killing him, and planting a bomb on his body. His booby-trapped corpse was tossed out of the front door where it exploded." The first two sentences could be combined to provide the information in a more chronological fashion, i.e. instead of mentioning Kaim's death and then explaining how he died, maybe "The situation took a turn for the worse when Jedi Master Kaim went in to negotiate the release of the hostages but was caught with a hidden strip-cam."  Grunny  ( Talk ) 09:22, 29 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) ***Fixed--ToRsO bOy 11:39, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) *Bio - The Clone Wars - Mission to Coruscant
 * 100) ** What a black operation is, needs to be explained when first mentioned.
 * 101) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 20:24, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) ** Dha Werda Verda needs some context.
 * 103) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 20:24, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) ** "considering it as his due when he struck Maze in the nose days before." Could be worded better.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 03:42, 12 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 20:24, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) *Bio - The Clone Wars - Hunt for Ko Sai
 * 107) ** Context on Boss needed; since it's pipelinked, it's unclear he was a clone trooper.
 * 108) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 17:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 109) ** "Owing to his eidetic memory, they were able to rescue Vau deep beneath the ice tunnels by utilizing the things he remembered from the ships manual." Please clarify who the "he"s refers to as right now it is unclear.
 * 110) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 17:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) ** I think this could be worded a little better: "Ordo was faced with Sai once more since his early days on Kamino." And you should try to clarify what "his frame of mind" was.
 * 112) ***Done.--ToRsO bOy 17:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) *Good work so far :-). I'll try to pick up the pace of this review :-P.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 15:33, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) **I've noticed the comments are coming in regularly now. Much obliged.=p --ToRsO bOy 17:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 115) Attack of the Clone I
 * 116) * Please be careful about using semi-colons; several could have been filled by commas, which I changed. Additionally, try to avoid using contractions.
 * 117) **I'm sorry but is this a comment or an objection? --ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) ***It's more of just something to keep in mind for the future; sorry for not clarifying. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 119) * Also, please be careful of overusing indirect articles such as "he", "she", "them", etc., particularly after long sentences in which the term could apply to a number of people instead of just one. I wasn't able to correct all of them, seeing as how I don't know myself who you were talking about.
 * 120) **Noted.--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) * Slightly confusing, because although the article is named "Ordo Skirata", only "Ordo" is mentioned and bolded in the intro. "Skirata" (as part of Ordo's name) should be mentioned somewhere in the intro.
 * 122) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) * Just a note: I moved the context for the Clone Wars in the intro to where it is first mentioned.
 * 124) **Ok.--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) * "The clones only saw the Nulls around Tipoca City when they were running wild, stealing equipment or sabotaging systems." "Running wild" is a bit colloquial, and as such does not seem to be an important action. Please change if possible.
 * 126) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) ***"Out of control" is still undefined. Out of control doing what? Training?
 * 128) ****The book only said "Running wild". For me to actually state what they were doing would cross the line of speculation. Maybe it's better if I just remove the line altogether?--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 129) *****Just that bit needs to be removed, I think. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) ******Removed.--ToRsO bOy 04:35, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 131) * "After years of training on Kamino, Ordo and the Nulls were deployed along with the majority of the clone troopers at the Battle of Geonosis, serving as Advanced Recon Commandos. It was the opening battle of the Clone Wars, a major conflict between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic." These two sentences need to be merged and/or reworded. The first mention of the Battle of Geonosis should include its context, but not so that it sounds grammatically awkward.
 * 132) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 133) * Even though it sounds like it's an official term, "chilled down" sounds colloquial. Please change if possible. Also, "talk the Nulls down" in a later sentence is also colloquial; this should be changed.
 * 134) **Done. A question though, do the words count as colloquial even if the book actually uses the exact same term?--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 135) ***Well, it's best to try to avoid using slang, because that's what it seems to be. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) * "...due to the fact that nobody could command them." The subject should come first, meaning that it should be edited to "...because they were not commandable"; I didn't change it because it needs to be reworded, and I'm not sure how you'd like to do it yourself.
 * 137) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) * "When a supposedly dead employee, Vinna Jiss, appeared in the office, Ordo and Etain tracked her down to an alley, where a brief skirmish occurred." It's confusing as to when the skirmish occured, whether previously or during their investigations.
 * 139) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 140) ***Using "later" makes it seem like it took later, and not when they were tracking her. I changed it, but please correct me if I'm wrong. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 141) * "an oral command that Kal had drilled his commandos with": awkward grammar, please rephrase.
 * 142) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 143) ***Fixed it up a little; just so you know, there was a contraction there as well as a present-tense verb. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 144) * "They took the two captive..." Who were the two? Please try to avoid using indirect addresses when starting a new paragraph.
 * 145) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 146) * "Ordo took it hard that he did not figure out the fake employee was a shapeshifter: colloquial, please reword.
 * 147) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) * "The contact explained that the original meet up they agreed on days before was no longer possible, due to one of their people being arrested." The sentence itself is confusing; I believe you mean "meet-up", but I didn't change anything because I'm unsure of what you're trying to say. Also, who was "their people"? This sentence needs a check to reword and rephrase.
 * 149) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) * "Asked for his opinion on what they ought to do, he concurred with Kal that Darman was not ready to know yet." Second part of the sentence is grammatically awkward.
 * 151) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 152) * "Because of Ordo's eidetic memory, they were able to rescue Vau deep beneath the ice tunnels by utilizing the things he remembered from the ship's manual." Reworded this sentence; also, please change "things" to something less colloquial.
 * 153) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 154) * "His troubled frame of mind was not helped when he heard the news of Fi's injury in the Battle of Gaftikar.": "not helped" doesn't match the sentence and should be changed.
 * 155) * "in order to hide Etain's pregnancy and Sai." These two should not be paired and mentioned together in this way; one's a person and one's a state of the body. Perhaps say "as well as Sai" or something along those lines.
 * 156) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 157) * "It was a safe refuge that Kal commissioned Rav Bralor": it's unclear as to what you mean by a "safe refuge."
 * 158) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 159) ***I changed it, since it still wasn't really making sense. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 160) * "The scientist's research, however, actually still existed." At first, it was unclear if this pertained to the clones or Sai; mention that Sai was unaware of this to clarify.
 * 161) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 162) * "They had a talk where Ordo tried to placate Wennen's uneasiness with the nature of his job." First off, the conversation is not a location; therefore, "where" should not be used. Also, "they had a talk" can be changed to something less colloquial.
 * 163) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 164) * "Over dinner, Ordo presented her with the Shoroni sapphires Vau gave him on the day he and Kal rescued Vau on Mygeeto. He then asked her point blank if she wanted to marry him. She said yes and Ordo married her on the spot by making her recite with him a short Mandalorian marriage contract." The second sentence is too choppy, and it can be merged with the first. Also, the third sentence is too colloquial with the use of "she said yes" and "on the spot", and it's also a little confusing.
 * 165) **Done--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 166) *I had to stop reviewing before "Reunion of the Nulls"; I'll continue the review later when I have time. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 07:28, 17 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 167) **Thanks--ToRsO bOy 06:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 168) Attack of the Clone I, part II
 * 169) * "With the news of Kal's missing biological daughter, Ruusaan Skirata, plus the matter of his brother Kom'rk being out on the field for a long time, prompted Ordo to call all the Nulls together." First of all, I removed the "with"; it didn't make sense. Second, the "plus" makes the sentence colloquial.
 * 170) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 171) * "...noticed by Ensign Luszgoti, a well-disliked officer who was also part of COMPOR." It's well-liked; "well-disliked" does not exist. Please change.
 * 172) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 173) * "Hours later, Ordo and Mereel stood close to Kal..." Does not make sense. Maybe say "stood with", but please do not "stood close to".
 * 174) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 175) * "Aside from discussing the possibility of Zey knowing that it was indeed Jaing's work..." The "possibility" subject is rather grammatically awkward; please change.
 * 176) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 177) ***I think you might have misunderstood what I meant, but I changed it for you. I meant to change what the possibility was, not the word "possibility" itself. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 178) * "Aside from discussing the possibility of Zey knowing that it was indeed Jaing's work, they held a small meeting, where Kal outlined their current objectives which were establishing a new source of information, his daughter Ruusan's rescue and the cure for the accelerated aging of clones." Run-on, please rephrase.
 * 179) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 180) * "When an arrest order for Kal was issued, Ordo made sure that he was safe on Aay'han before going to the Arca Barracks." "He" who? He himself, or Kal?
 * 181) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 182) * Please keep everything in the past tense; I'm noticing a few places that are inconsistently written in present. I changed what I saw, but I might not have been able to get every single one.
 * 183) **Noted--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 184) * Also, please try to avoid using "then"; it gives an excessive sense of chronology.
 * 185) **Noted--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 186) * "Ordo went to the barracks and informed Zey, albeit with a scathing remark regarding High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi." Informed him of what? "Inform" is a transitive verb that requires a direct object, i.e. "Ordo informed Zey of their plan" or whatever it was.
 * 187) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 188) ***Is the remark about Kenobi necessary? If it is, please make it clearer as to who said it. I know that Ordo said it, but when I first read it, it was a little confusing. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 189) ****Yes. It's one of the examples of how Ordo dislikes the Jedi Order. Reworded. --ToRsO bOy 04:35, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 190) * "...Ordo offered him a piece of ruik root and commented on his lack of retaliation to Ordo's tirade against Zey and the Jedi Order." This sentence is inconsistent as far as who it talks about, and the use of "his" is even more confusing.
 * 191) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 192) * "He was present with Darman, Niner..." Who is "he"?
 * 193) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 194) * "They all arrived on Mandalore..." Who are "they"?
 * 195) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 196) * "Their capacity for loyalty was greatly enhanced; they were either your best friend or your worst enemy." The use of "your" is not specific; I recommend not incorporating the reader in the article.
 * 197) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 198) * "...making Kal realize that he did not always know what he was thinking." Making who realize what who was thinking?
 * 199) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 200) * "Ordo tried to be on Kal's side as much as possible": confusing and slightly colloquial, please change.
 * 201) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 202) * "Ordo knew that he lacked a certain awareness that most humans had and took for granted; though he was careful not to offend the feelings of those he cared about." What is this awareness? (Just a note: I made a minor revision to this sentence.)
 * 203) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 204) * "...as he was raised not to think of them as his betters." Please change "betters" to something more specific.
 * 205) **Done--ToRsO bOy 07:56, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 206) ***Good work; I believe there's only two objections somewhere above remaining. CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 18:30, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 207) * CC7567 [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] (talk) 00:23, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 208) Grunny III:
 * 209) * Bio - The Clone Wars - Hunt for Ko Sai: What a Cuy'val Dar is needs some explanation.
 * 210) **Done.--ToRsO bOy 04:12, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 211) * Bio - The Clone Wars - Reunion of the Nulls: "They needed to establish a new source of information, now that Jaing's spy program had been discovered, and also needed to plan his daughter Ruusaan's rescue and find the cure for the clones' accelerated aging." Could be worded better to avoid using two "and"s in this way.
 * 212) **Done.--ToRsO bOy 04:12, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 213) * File:ARC Captain Ordo.jpg should be a thumbnail with a caption. Also see if you can place in some related images, such as of Kal Skirata as he plays a major part in the bio. It will help illustrate the article :-).
 * 214) **Done.--ToRsO bOy 04:12, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 215) *Getting close :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 07:31, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 216) **What happens after you cast your vote? Do I wait for the other Agricorps to review the article? Or do I leave a request on their talk pages? I'm just not sure how to proceed next. Thanks. :)--ToRsO bOy 04:12, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 217) ***CC7567's comment on your talk page is good answer :).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 12:15, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * A question to the ACs: Would it be permissible to use first names in this article? There are 7 Skiratas, and it gets really confusing trying to figure out who's who. Can an exception be made? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:54, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, that is something that is generally done. If there are two or more individuals with the same last name, then the first name is used to differentiate between them. After quickly glancing at this article, I would say that it is necessary in this instance. Cylka  -talk- 10:05, 5 March 2009 (UTC)