Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Bachenkall


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bachenkall

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:59, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: ESB = greatest movie ever :P

(4 ACs/3 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:54, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 02:23, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 03:02, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --Eyrezer 07:05, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 12:05, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:49, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) It is literally perfect. I can't see a single thing wrong with it. Nice job Grunny. Kilson Likes PIE 23:20, 16 May 09 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * Last sentence of the intro is a bit of a run-on; see if you can reword it so that it flows better.
 * 3) **Reworded a bit, see what you think :-).
 * 4) * "Bachenkall and the other members of the pit crew displayed fearful deference for the presence of Darth Vader": using "for" is a bit awkward here; please try to reword.
 * 5) **How's that?
 * 6) ***Still sounds a bit awkward...maybe say that they displayed fearful deference when the Dark Lord was present? I get what you're trying to say, but it's not coming off as completely clear.  CC7567  (talk) 15:51, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *Looks fine otherwise. I guess you weren't kidding on IRC when you said watching ESB again inspired you to nominate one of its related articles. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:56, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **No I wasn't :P Thanks for the review CC :).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 10:09, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa will kill you when he finds out you stole one of his ESB extras:
 * 10) * Mention his rank in the intro.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Out of curiosity, is there any reason you use "right-side" as opposed to "starboard" when mention which crewpit he was in?
 * 13) **Not particularly, changed to starboard :-).
 * 14) * The ESB novelization refs seem a bit redundant to me, since they reference the same things as the movie itself. Is there any reason why you included those extra refs?
 * 15) **I added the references because the novel describes the crew's fear, but Bachenkall is only directly appearing in the movie so it's hard to separate the refs.
 * 16) * Any possibility he appears in another version of ESB, such as the comic, PhotoComic, or even radio drama? I assume you've already checked the novelization.
 * 17) **I'll check them all tomorrow to make sure, and let you know :-).
 * 18) ***Checked, he does not appear in the other versions :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:40, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *Good work, as always. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:15, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks Tranner, and Tope already knows :P.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:04, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) The Grand Master of Grandness
 * 22) * Is there a main quote available?
 * 23) **No, unfortunately.
 * 24) * "Strode" (in Bio) and "stalked" (in P&t) seem a little too POV. Try replacing them with something less&hellip;negatively connotated.
 * 25) **If I may interject, that's not really the definition of our POV standards. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:55, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Okay, I just thought they sounded too negatively connoted. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 21:01, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ****No worries. If you and Grunny still want to work out a better word, you're more than welcome. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:03, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Not really an objection, but I would suggest making a stub for "Chuck Kallenbach", or maybe an external link, just so that you don't have a redlink de-beautifying your page.
 * 29) **Created.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:40, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *And that's all. Looks good, Grun :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 18:02, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Soresu
 * 32) * Served is repetitive in the last sentence of the first paragraph of the bio.
 * 33) **Changed second one.
 * 34) * Bachenkall was typical of graduates of the Empire's Training Academy on Raithal. Should Traning Academy be capitalised? Is it just a description, or is it actually referred to with capitals in the CSWE or another source? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:17, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **It is capitalized on the CCG card.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 12:03, 16 May 2009 (UTC)

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