User talk:Master Jonathan/Archive11

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Finn (bartender)
Hey Jon, could you please give him a copy-edit and review? Thanks in advance.&mdash; 01:16, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. My only issue is that the LECG should be mentioned in the BTS; otherwise it's good. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 02:01, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added, and thanks for your help.&mdash; 16:28, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good now. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 16:40, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Flak
Could you give him a copy-edit and a review?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:31, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Here are my objections:
 * "During the patrol Flak complained about the seemingly boring mission and stated he would rather fight Confederate battle droids also Cody calmed him down.": Something's missing toward the end of this sentence.
 * Fixed.
 * "Instead however, he rather like to fight on the frontlines and destroy clankers." Please try to word the opening part of this sentence in a way that makes sense, because right now it's not doing so. Also, what is having the last two words of that sentence in italics supposed to mean?
 * Fixed. Thank you very much.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:03, September 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * I cleaned this one up a little more; take a look at it. In particular, note that the term "clankers" is both slang and POV and should not be used in prose. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 16:50, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 00:57, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Gavyn Sykes
Could you give him a copy-edit? Thanks in advance. QuiGonJinn (Talk) 10:25, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 19:22, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Was there something wrong with Google cache links? I added them because I've already been asked to provide backup links in my other nom. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:14, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * When an archive link is provided, Cite web automatically makes that the primary link (from the title) in the reference, which can cause confusion when the Google cache links expire in a few months; also, if an archive.org link is used instead, those versions are often broken in some way. For those reasons, I feel it's best to make the primary link the original for as long as that link continues to work, and the only way to do so is to not put an archive link into the template unless and until the original becomes dead. Theoretically, the template could be modified to allow the use of an archive link while keeping the primary link the original, but while I've done work on templates in the past, I don't even pretend to understand the code of Cite web. Basically, it's about making sure the reader has easy access to the original page. Let me know if you have further questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 20:36, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter Info
Hey, I'm working on the CSF FA nomination. I'm wondering if you could help me with info in Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter regarding the "Ren S'orn case" including why it was opened and why his mother Uta S'orn asked it to be closed. Also any and all information that you can find in that book/series on Yur T'aug including personality, bio, etc. His article didn't really help much. Supposedly he was the overall commander of the CSF but if you could confirm/deny that. If you could let me know as soon as you can, I'd appreciate it a lot!!Coruscantfan 20:54, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'll sort the info by book:
 * Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter
 * Pages 53–58 (Yur T'aug bio/personality):
 * Captain T'aug is present at a murder scene at the Lane of All Worlds on Coruscant when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan show up. The body is believed to be that of Fligh. Qui-Gon requests to see the body, and T'aug gives him the OK to do so. A few minutes later, Qui-Gon points out a piece of evidence to the T'aug, who calls an unnamed sergeant over to catalog it. Qui-Gon then starts asking for details, and the captain is reluctant to answer questions but eventually does so. Among the details T'aug reveals is that the body had been completely drained of blood.
 * Pages 71–72 (Ren S'orn):
 * The Force-sensitive Ren had been accepted by the Jedi for training, but his mother, Senator Uta S'orn, declined to give him up. Ren became a "drifter", "fell in with bad companions", and was eventually murdered. When he was killed, his body was drained of blood, the same way as "Fligh".


 * Jedi Apprentice: The Evil Experiment
 * Page 67 (Ren S'orn):
 * Jenna Zan Arbor freely admits to a captive Qui-Gon that she killed Ren after experimenting on him and his Force-sensitivity&mdash;the same type of "experimenting" she is now doing to Qui-Gon.
 * Page 78 (Ren S'orn):
 * Ren's body was found on Simpla-12.
 * Pages 102–103 (both):
 * Though Simpla-12 itself does not have a security force of its own, Captain T'aug and the CSF investigated Ren's murder. T'aug, however, didn't follow up on any leads and just shipped Ren's body back to Coruscant and his mother.
 * Pages 107–109 (both):
 * Obi-Wan confronts T'aug about the dropping of Ren's case, and T'aug openly and rudely refuses to cooperate even though all CSF forces are expected to cooperate with the Jedi; after being reminded that the CSF and Jedi work toward the same goal&mdash;justice&mdash;he reveals that the case was dropped at Uta's request.
 * Pages 109–112 (Ren S'orn):
 * Uta S'orn, who has just recently resigned from her position as Senator, reveals to Obi-Wan that she asked for the case to be dropped because she believes Ren was killed by "some lowlife" on Simpla-12, saying that "[h]e led a life of squalor" and commenting, "Why investigate it, why drag every sordid detail into the sun? Who knows what Captain Yur T'aug could have found out about Ren? I did not want to know. Don't you understand? I want it all to go away [...]".
 * Chapter 18 (Ren S'orn):
 * Jenna Zan Arbor's secret lab, where she is holding Qui-Gon and where she experimented on Ren, is on Simpla-12.


 * Jedi Apprentice: The Dangerous Rescue
 * Pages 87–89
 * Fligh is very much alive; after being attacked by bounty hunter Ona Nobis, he staged his own murder scene so he could disappear for a while and get Ona Nobis off his tail.

That's all I found. There's no indication that Yur T'aug was the overall CSF commander, but there's no indication he wasn't, either. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 02:14, September 8, 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you for responding so quickly, this information is great! I do have some questions. How did the Jedi find out about Fligh's murder? What exactly is the Lane of All Worlds? And I'm sure it was a typo, but I'm confused as to why the CSF investigated a murder on Simpla-12? Also, is there any information on the CSF's vehicles, uniforms, and other CSF members that are mentioned by name? Thanks for your help. Coruscantfan 20:16, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Didi Oddo, a friend of Qui-Gon, told them about the murder and where the body had been found.
 * The Lane of All Worlds is an alleyway near the Senate.
 * Not a typo; the CSF did indeed investigate the murder on Simpla-12, though there is no indication as to why they did so; it's stated that Simpla-12 has no security police of its own, but that is not explicitly connected to why the CSF investigated a crime on another planet, though it is heavily implied.
 * No CSF members other than T'aug are mentioned by name, and there's no information at all on vehicles or uniforms other than the statement in The Deadly Hunter that the uniforms were navy in color.
 * Let me know if you have further questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 21:52, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you so much for your help! Coruscantfan 01:13, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

CSWE request
Hey, Jon. Me again. Could you check what the CSWE has to say about Nichos Marr and Darksaber? QuiGonJinn (Talk) 15:46, September 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * The entries can now be found at Forum:Entry requests. In the future, please make SWE/CSWE requests on that page. Thanks. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 02:38, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Problem
Ah, I see. Thanks for pointing that out. :)  CC7567  (talk) 05:45, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Wieler
Could you give him a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:25, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Copy-edit done. Objection:
 * "while Wieler was in command of the Republic Navy in orbit above Khorm.": This makes it sound like he was in command of the entire Navy, which I don't think was the case. Please clarify.
 * Fixed.

I have nothing else. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 19:36, September 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:07, September 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 18:09, September 17, 2010 (UTC)

1 QUESTION
Do u know what happened to the ask a question on the left hand side i use ask questions but then its gone i know evanthetoon had it? Cadbanekiller 12:44, September 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * To be completely honest, I have no clue what you're talking about. Could you try to describe what you're talking about in a little more detail? &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 20:17, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Well there was this like star wars wiki questions and some one could just ask something and soon just answer it like i use to ask questions about star wars related and mostly evanthetoon would answer. i would try to be more detailed but it's been a long time. Cadbanekiller 19:14, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * I still don't know what you're talking about. Try asking an administrator like or ; they might be able to help.  Master Jonathan  New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 19:20, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

The idiots from Blood Ties #1
Hey Jon, could you give copy-edits and reviews to Elmyo and the Unidentified Gotal traffic controller? Thanks in advance.&mdash; 03:19, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Loved that issue. Done, and only one objection:
 * In both intros you make it sound as if the Gotal is apologizing for Elmyo demanding to begin landing fee negotiations, but I believe he's actually apologizing for the "you know your own name" patronization. Please clarify in both articles.
 * Done.&mdash; 19:02, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Otherwise, looks good. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 17:52, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks again, good for the GA?&mdash; 19:02, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes, Elmyo is 307 words, while the Gotal is 341. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 19:35, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you
Thanks for cleaning up Event Horizon (Duro) for me! I can't believe I forgot wookieepedia's tense preference. D'oh! - Tovarisch krae 19:13, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. :) &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 23:19, September 22, 2010 (UTC)

Wen-Chii
Could you give Anno Wen-Chii a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:57, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. I have no formal objections, but I will say that if that's all you can put in the P&A, then I don't think that section is needed. The article currently stands at 272 words as is, 259 without the P&A. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash; Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 03:50, September 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:59, September 25, 2010 (UTC)

Villpu Nagg
Could you give Villpu Nagg a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:48, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:
 * The intro has a lot of short, choppy sentences. Please try to make it flow better.
 * Better?
 * Much better.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 17:51, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Warlord Unger Gout, the Confederate commander, then contacted Nagg and informed him of the Jedi treat.": What is "treat" supposed to mean here?
 * Spelling error. "Threat" is the right word.

Let me know if you have any questions.  Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 22:00, September 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:07, September 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good now.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 17:51, September 30, 2010 (UTC)

WotM
Just to let you know, you're Wookieepedian of the Month for October 2010. Congratulations. Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:39, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Congrats, MJ. Well deserved. 1358  (Talk) 17:41, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Congrats.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:06, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Likewise, congrats Jon. NAYA   YEN   19:51, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Congratulations, Jon! Bella&#39;Mia 03:28, October 2, 2010 (UTC)

Wiki's
Hep please help me with my wiki's!!!!! Here are the links. Clone Trooper wiki: http://clonewar.wikia.com/wiki/Special:MyHome, and Star Wars cheats: http://starwarscheats.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Wars_Cheats_Wiki. Thank in advance. Oh ya um if you can't help could ypu try to get some other people to help me out, please. --Capt.ScoutJaingHead.svg Officers Report. 10:51, October 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, but I don't have the time to invest in another wiki myself, and I'm not going to spam other users' talk pages to try to find users for you. Good luck with your wikis, though.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 16:11, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

Threats of the Galaxy image
Hi, quick question for you...

In Threats of the Galaxy there is the following image:  If you are able to find it, could you please tell me what is the entry/information (if any) in regards to this image.

Thanks for your help. Coruscantfan 19:03, October 5, 2010 (UTC)


 * It's just used as a supporting image for the book's generic police officer character template on page 69. There's absolutely no information on the specific character that is depicted, and the accompanying prose makes no reference to any specific police organization; it only contains a brief, generic description of what a police officer does along with a bunch of game mechanics. There's nothing useful for our purposes. Let me know if you have any further questions.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 20:38, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * OK, thanks! Coruscantfan 12:31, October 6, 2010 (UTC)

Stone
Could you give this article a pre-nom review, a word-count and a copy-edit. Feel free to edit the page. I won't touch it until I recieved your answer. Thanks in advance.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:55, October 9, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:
 * "In combat, he wore a Phase I clone trooper armor painted in the brown colors of his unit, the Coruscant Guard. In combat on Florrum he was equipped with two DC-17 blaster pistols.": "In combat" is repetitive here.
 * Fixed.


 * Actually, that's it, though I'm sure the Inq will have more. 1,039 words, so it's good for FAN. Let me know if you have any questions.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 18:08, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm sure of that too. :P Thank you very much.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:39, October 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 15:41, October 10, 2010 (UTC)

Ratts
Hey MJ, have you actually started your copy-edit of Ratts Tyerell yet? If not, I actually just finished my copy-edit (I started shortly before you put on the Inuse tag and as a result didn't see it). If you have already started, then no worries, carry on. :) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 21:11, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * I have started, and I'm actually almost done. Thanks for asking, but I'll be done in probably about 5–10 minutes, if not sooner. Feel free to tweak it once I'm done.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 21:22, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm done now. Have at it. :)  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 21:30, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem; I ended up having to go AFK until just now anyway, so its just as well. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:24, October 10, 2010 (UTC)

Tracer
Could you give Tracer a copy-edit, pre-nom review and a word count? Thanks.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:34, October 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. I have no objections. 804 words. Let me know if you have any questions.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 20:19, October 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:41, October 14, 2010 (UTC)

Vult
Could you give Vult a copy-edit, pre-nom review and a word count?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:28, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. I have no objections; 260 words. Let me know if you have any questions.  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 18:38, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanky ou.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:41, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

Bokar and Yuln
Could you please give both a copy-edit and review? I think the word-count is such that I can get them GA'd. Thanks in advance.&mdash; 01:17, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Done. No actual objections to either one, but a comment on Yuln:
 * "She questioned Bokar about the Sith that had perished in the fighting, after Bokar claimed that the deaths of so many Jedi and Imperial Knights proved that the Sith were superior to both Orders." I think this would flow a little better in chronological order, but I have no problem with it the way it is now if you prefer it that way.

Otherwise, excellent. Bokar is ~358 words, and Yuln is ~329 words, so both are good for GA. Let me know if you have any questions.  Master Jonathan  ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 20:20, October 20, 2010 (UTC)

Sith Diplomat talk
Thank you for doing that. I was trying to figure out how to do it while posting it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 03:42, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. :)  Master Jonathan New Jedi Order.svg ( Jedi Council Chambers ) 03:46, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Archiving nominations

 * Yes, sorry. I thought about that after I had already done it, and was going to go about it, but you had already started. A momentary lapse, won't happen again.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 03:47, October 20, 2010 (UTC)