Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Tranquility


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Tranquility

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:05, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gotta keep up with CC :P

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Please watch linking, though.  CC7567  (talk) 04:04, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 21:17, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 15:48, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kreivi Wolter 21:59, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Very nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:52, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:57, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * Are you sure the Tranquility was the one that arrived over Rodia during "Bombad Jedi"? I know that there's some information to suggest that it was, but neither the episode nor its online guide confirmed it. If another source states that it was, please reference it.
 * 3) **I'm not seeing where I indicated that.
 * 4) ***Bah; sorry, I must have misread it.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * If the Tranquility was the one that appeared during "Bombad Jedi", please try to shorten the intro. It's debatable whether or not Amidala and Binks even require a mention here, but there's simply too much context for Gunray. If it needs to be stated that Gunray was "fighting against the Republic", state it in the body; it's already heavily implied if he was captured by Republic forces.
 * 6) **Took out the Council context.
 * 7) * "The ventilation shafts were utilized by Asajj Ventress to travel from the flight deck to the engine room, and from there to the detention level." Ventress is going to need context here if you're going to mention her so early; unless there's a reason for it, I would suggest removing this and mentioning it chronologically when she actually uses the shafts.
 * 8) **Removed.
 * 9) * "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars." Yes, this is part of its history, but it should have (at least) also been mentioned in the "Characteristics" section. Also, please watch overlinking.
 * 10) **The fact that it's a Venator in the Republic navy is already in the characteristics. If I were to explicitly restate that "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars.", it would be extremely unneccessary and repetitive, as that information is already in the intro and history.
 * 11) ***Fair enough.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "The boarding ship's pincers pierced the Tranquility ' s hull, and inserted into the roof of the dorsal flight deck." This is redundant; you've already said that the Droches slammed into the Star Destroyer's hull. Also, please check the last part of the sentence; it's not flowing well.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * In the third paragraph of "Prisoner transport", please try to vary "while".
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) *I'll continue this with you later when I have more time, but I'll leave you with these for now.  CC7567  (talk) 23:28, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Alright. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:34, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) "The captain of the vessel was a clone who was present on the bridge during the Confederacy's initial attack..." Which initial attach was this? The rescue on the Tranquility?  —Xwing328 (Talk) 17:14, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *I meant the Confederacy's boarding and starfighter assault. I replaced "initial attack" with "boarding." Does it need more clarification or is this okay? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:59, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Yeah, I still feel it could use a touch of context. Reading that section by itself, I'd have no idea what you're talking about. Just another link to that might help. —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:12, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***How 'bout now? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:57, October 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Yeah, that's good. —Xwing328 (Talk) 21:17, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Toprawa:
 * 24) * I've just started going through this, and my objections will be somewhat disjointed, so my apologies. Firstly, in the infobox, what exactly does "Battleship (downscaled)" mean? I ask because I notice this is something someone went through and put in a number of different warship articles. You source the information to the specific episode, but I seriously doubt "Cloak of Darkness" actually says the Tranquility is a downscaled battleship. If there is no real source for this, please just remove. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:02, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Heh. I hadn't even noticed that. Thanks, it's been removed. I don't know what the hell a downscaled battleship is. And no worries about the "disjointed" review. So long as it gets a review, I'm happy. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:09, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * The transition between these two sentences is rather rough. In the first sentence, Ventress is being confronted by Unduli, but in the second she's already battling Tano. Please do a little bit to smooth this out and clarify: "However, the Dark Acolyte's progress was quickly halted with the return of Unduli and Gree. Unduli joined Tano in her duel with Ventress, and the Dark Acolyte soon appeared to surrender." Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:26, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **I think I might have fixed it, but let me know. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:49, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***Works for me. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:52, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

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