Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Karka Kre'fey


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Karka Kre'fey

 * Nominated by: --Colinmcev 07:17, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This one was slightly easier than Gara Petothel. :D --Colinmcev 07:17, 28 July 2008 (UTC)

(+5)
Support
 * 1)  Aqua  Unasi  17:26, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) User:Akronstreetbum Very good job Master Ovnone 03:03, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Great job, Colinmcev. DC 06:12, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:06, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:40, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Xadún - 
 * 2) * "The Kre'fey family reputation suffered greatly in 6.5 ABY after the First Battle of Borleias, an unsuccessful New Republic effort to capture Borleias, a planet in the Pyria system, for use as a launching pad for an eventual assault on Imperial-controlled Coruscant." Dodgy prose here, try breaking this down.
 * 3) **Fixed it a bit. -- Colinmcev 16:47, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *** Still not great. Try using multiple sentences instead of one long one with lots of commas. I recommend you cut off after "....a planet in the Pyria system", and adjust the second half of the sentence so it makes sense.
 * 5) ****Better? -- Colinmcev 02:17, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Muchly.
 * 7) * Same here - "Darkfighter, inwardly citing a new sense of discipline he learned from the squadron, refused the offer and instead offered a handshake to Karka Kre'fey, which he refused to accept."
 * 8) **Better? -- Colinmcev 16:47, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *** Yes. But try to avoid using the same verb/adjective in consecutive sentences (in this case "offored") as it can sound a little repetitive.
 * 10) ****Good call. Changed the first reference. -- Colinmcev 02:17, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *****You ended up with 2 instances of refused, I took the liberty of changing one. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:06, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Otherwise, fine. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 18:25, 11 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the suggestions! --Colinmcev 02:17, 14 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Toprawa:
 * 15) * I just want to make sure the book actually presets this idea. If not, it would be OR: "and arguably the most celebrated Bothan military leader of his time."
 * 16) **Actually, it's X-Wing: Wedge's Gamble that presents it; it describes him as the Bothan's "most celebrated military leader," but I included arguably because that same sentence indicates he fell from grace at Borleias. I added the citation to that book. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Same with this. The way this is written makes it seem as if the Darklighter tangle was not just an isolated incident. Does the book allude to other instances in which his temper flared up like this? "at times resorting to force in attempts to defend the family's honor."
 * 18) **Eh...I guess you're right here. I changed the wording to indicate that it happens on at least one occasion. Better? -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * I'm confused by what you're trying to say here. The battle would have angered him? Please clarify: "which angered Kre'fey more than the duel itself would have"
 * 20) **The book indicates he was more angry about Gavin's reaction than losing a fight would have. Changed the wording to reflect this. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Something could also be added to the end of the biography, explaining that it was actually to Kreyfey's benefit that Darklighter refused him, as explained in the SWE: "Fortunately for Karka Kre'fey, Darklighter refused to fight." This is only alluded to in the P/T.
 * 22) **I hear what you're saying, although I found it hard to word. (Rather than just saying something like "Gavin would've won.") If you think my wording needs to be changed, feel free to make a suggestion or change it yourself. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * In accordance with the second objection, this, too, makes it seem like he did this almost habitually, when I believe the book is the only instance which would validate this claim: "was so headstrong and adamant about defending his family that he would provoke confrontations"
 * 24) **Made a similar change as above. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * And ditto: "Karka Kre'fey sometimes demonstrated behavior that contradicted those virtues"
 * 26) **I think this wording is OK. Even if he did it only once (which seems unlikely, given the nature of the character), I think it would be safe to use the word "sometimes." I'd rather leave it worded this way than add yet another "on at least one occasion," but if you really don't feel you can strike the objection, I'll do that. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Yeah, you're ok here. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:40, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) * Something could definitely be added to the BTS. Maybe an explanation of how he serves as a minor antagonist in the development and maturity of Gavin Darklighter
 * 29) **Added something.
 * 30) * No info from his secondary mention? At the very least, some kind of explanation of this mention could be added to the BTS. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:43, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **I added it to the BTS. I think it only belongs here, since the only mention in that book is the fact that he was related to Traest Kre'fey. -- Colinmcev 06:40, 19 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments