Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Duel on Rhen Var


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Duel on Rhen Var

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:13, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Let's see just how good it is.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 23:17, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 05:36, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Very nice. -  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:26, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:54, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:14, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Cloned
 * 2) * "However, he quickly realized that she, like he had once done, was allowing her anger to drive her dangerously close acceptance of the dark side of the Force." Please check this sentence; it's unclear whether the "acceptance of" is the direct object of the verb "to drive"; it's not making much sense.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "the galaxy remained in prolonged a state of recovery": please check; "in prolonged" doesn't seem to be a proper prepositional phrase.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *Looking good otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 05:56, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thank you sir. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 20:07, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) From the Council Chambers:
 * 9) * "he hired a fervent Jedi-phile spacer": Can we get something other than "Jedi-phile"? It's unclear.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "Sylvar accepted his offer and made haste for Rhen Var.": "Made haste" is an idiom and therefore colloquial; please replace.
 * 12) **I so love that phrase;) Addressed.
 * 13) * "Hoggon, who had been secretly watching the contest [&hellip;] Before he could be stopped, the spacer shot Ulic at point-blank range": It would be extremely difficult&mdash;if not impossible&mdash;to "secretly watch" something from close enough that you could quickly shoot at "point-blank" range, so please clarify how this is possible.
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) * "In an interview conducted by Wookieepedia administration,": You may want to reword this per our Avoid self-references guideline&mdash;either remove the self-reference altogether or simply provide context on the Wook.
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) *Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 05:04, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks, MJ. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 05:28, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Might be missing a few sources, I'll add them tonight if so. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:13, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Found them all, so far as I know. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:47, 31 May 2009 (UTC)