Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Adnerem

Adnerem

 * Nominated by:
 * Nomination comments:My first featured article nomination so get ready to criticize folks!

Savaged&hellip;

 * As a preliminary objection, the "Behind the scenes" section should detail the development of the species from concept art for ROTJ. As I recall, the Adnerem are based on early concept drawings for Bib Fortuna drawn by Nilo Rodis-Jamero. So you'll need to consult the "behind the scenes" stuff listed for ROTJ in this list. I can help check some of them for you if you don't have them, but dig around as much as you can. :)
 * I've added a sentence but will continue researching it and find a source. Now I think about it they might appear in Monsters and Aliens from George Lucas although I don't have the means to check at the moment. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * I've still not been able to find a source for the concept art of Bib Fortuna but I've managed to get hold of Monsters and Aliens from George Lucas and added a bit of information about the use of the same image in it. Would I need to add more information about the contents of the letter since they aren't necessarily Adnerem?Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:44, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * Also, No Disintegrations is a book of adventures, so the specific adventure in which they appear should be called out using the WEG template and placed under "Appearances" rather than "Sources." More later! ~ Savage BOB sig.png 19:39, January 19, 2013 (UTC)
 * Estero is only mentioned in one of the additional bounty entries at the end of No Disintegrations not in any of the actual adventures as far as I can find. Does this still need included using the WEG template and put under appearances or can it be left as it is? I wasn't sure when writing the article. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Ah, OK. In that case, the book does indeed count as a Source. Note, though: We only use the WEG template for Appearances, not for Sources. Don't ask me why... ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * More! In the intro, you write "scavenger/hunter," but in the body, you write "scavenger-hunter." Either should be OK, but I'd be consistent.
 * Kept it consistent to the source with scavenger/hunter Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * You can probably go into a bit more detail about their appearance: humanoid posture (including two legs), a nose, a mouth, wrinkly skin.
 * Done although I might try and rearrange the sentence later it doesn't seem quite right Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Yeah, it's better, but I think you're jamming too much information into one sentence. Try to break it up, and I think you'll be fine. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * Do we have any idea why their tribes traditionally consist of 64 adults when none of them seems to have ever exceeded 20?
 * Wrote the sentence in the wrong place, it was the modern steri that commonly had 64 not the family units of the original ancestors. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * They apparently have two sexes, so this should be mentioned in the "Biology and appearance" section.
 * Added with the further features Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * There some historical stuff listed in the Biology and Society sections that should be repeated in some form in History: they evolved on Adner, they used to live in tribes, etc.
 * Think I added everything relevant Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Check the Essential Atlas for any maps that show their homeworld or the region of space it's located in. You should be able to glean some circumstantial history from that, like what territories of the galaxy they were in at what times.
 * Added what I can make out from the maps since Adner isn't mentioned anywhere. Will I need more information on Darth Krayt's Galactic Empire? Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * You should be able to glean a bit more than that. We know that Adner is located at N-16, in the Yataga sector of the Expansion Region, per the Atlas Appendix (available online). That means it's in the extreme, upper-left quadrant of N-16, per the Expansion Region sector map, also available as part of the Atlas Appendix material. So, off to the Atlas, we see that that region was first explored by outsiders at some point between 20,000 and 5,500 BBY (p. 120). Since its in a bordr zone, and no map explicitly shows its position, we can't surmise more than that, but it's something. :) (Also a note: be sure to let each nominator strike her or his comments personally; I'll revisit this nom soon and strike what you've done.) ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:24, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Looking at the Expansion Region system map on the Online companion the Yataga system seems to be directly in between the planets Woostri and Pax both of which are marked on the map on page 120 of the atlas and are both in the green region. I reckon if I footnote it this is valid enough to say it was explored between 8000 BBY and 5,500 BBY isn't it? Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:57, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * I'd say so, yes. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * Actually, almost everything in "History" (past the second sentence) sounds more like "Society and culture" info to me and should probably be moved there.
 * Moved Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Context needed on Jabba.
 * Added a sentence. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Context on Airen Cracken.
 * I've added a sentence but am not sure where to source it to? Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Doesn't Cracken's Rebel Field Guide mention the fact that he's a New Republic general? Also note, with context objections to FA nominations, often all that is needed is a word or two: "the crime lord Jabba the Hutt"; "the New Republic general Airen Cracken"... I think it's fine the way you have it, but just for future reference. :) ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * Mention that Mike Vilardi drew the Adnerem in GG11?
 * added Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Mention who wrote the "Alien Encounters" article that expanded their backstory?
 * Added along with the other authors that contributed to the species Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Based on their various illustrations, you can give a bit of information about how they dressed in the "Society and culture" section.
 * Added a short description which is pretty vague as four images isn't much to go off Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Also mention who illustrated them in that article? This all. Nicely done, sir. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 15:51, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
 * Scott Neely has been given his credit. For the Alien Encounters book though I've put Joe Bavitz as the illustrator as he is credited as the books graphic artist although I can't find anything verifying he defiantly drew this image. While looking I did however discover the appendix of the book which I somehow missed before which revealed the Adnerem are mammals! Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:05, January 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Hmm. Not sure about that. the person credited as graphic artist in the WEG stuff is (I think) the person who did the book layout, not the interior illustrations. I'll check my copy of that article later, but they usually gave credit in the article itself, I think. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * You should add "Mammal" to the "distinctions" field of the infobox, now that we know they belong to that category. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 12:29, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

 * My apologises for crossing out your comments bob having looked at other nominations I thought I was meant to once I'd done what was being requested. Hope you didnt take offence Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:27, January 23, 2013 (UTC)