Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Foga Brill

Foga Brill

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:05, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:It's Brilliant!

Support

 * 1) Excellent. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:32, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Imperialles 20:29, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Excellent.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:10, May 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:05, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Elephant. Thefourdotelipsis 09:36, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:36, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

A few things:

 * From Judicial to Warlord: "Though Brill's region technically fell under the jurisdiction of Grand Moff Gann of Sector 5, which encompassed the Prakith system" Seems a little oddly worded. You're essentially stating the same thing twice, only using different words (Brill's region; Prakith system).
 * Good point. Removed the redundant clause.
 * From Judicial to Warlord: "ignoring repeated overtures from Imperial Center" You suddenly switch from referring to the place as Coruscant to calling it Imperial Center, without introducing the term.
 * Good spot. It's consistent now.
 * Decline and mutiny: "Brill did adopt his tactics for a time" Did you mean to write "adapt"?
 * Yep, fixed.
 * Well done. --Imperialles 20:10, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:24, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Green tentacle
"With the Empire's colonization came a career opportunity&hellip;" Is there an "of Prakith" missing in there or is colonization supposed to be something else? Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:19, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I added it "of Prakith." Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:21, June 2, 2010 (UTC)