Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Binding Ceremony of Oron Kira and Galia


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Binding Ceremony of Oron Kira and Galia

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:24, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:I couldn't help but hum this as I was writing this article...

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:44, 22 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:04, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 10:54, 3 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:16, 8 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:24, 9 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Intro is way too short. Also, nothing from Kotor II and the seven sources listed? -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:37, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *A careless oversight on my part. Discussed with you via IRC, and addressed. #*Addressed the missing KOTOR 2 info with Sir Goodwood.
 * 3) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 4) * Is Binding Ceremony capitalized?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "accepted the hand of Oron, of" What about the rest of him? :-P Clarify.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Holy matrimony? Reword. Wookieepedia is not romantic, darnit. (infobox)
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *" Into the wilderness of Onderon went Tott Doneeta," Reword.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * I would reorganize this article somewhat. I'd make a ==Prelude== section, then ===Raid on the Palace===, ===Jedi rescue attempt===, then ==Ceremony==, ==Wedding Banquet== and then the ==Legacy section==. I think that's the best way to handle it, but feel free to discuss the issue in IRC or other means. I'm open to suggestion.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Could you briefly state a little more clearly what happens next in the Legacy section? Is peace made, or does Amanoa go to war? Just a bit of clarification-a sentence or so, would be nice.
 * 15) **Actually required more than that. Addressed now.
 * 16) *Complete list. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:20, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Thanks for the read. Everything should be up to par now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:34, 22 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 19) * "where after being shot down by the Beast Riders' perimeter defenses" - this needs to be clarified; how exactly were they shot down? What were they flying? As it is, it merely states that they went into the wilderness.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) * I'd like to see a bit of a shift around in the intro. "What they found was a wedding already in progress, between the betrothed Beast-Lord Oron Kira and Galia" - the article is about the wedding, not the Jedi, so it should state that the wedding started, etc, but was then interrupted by the arrival of the Jedi. This also applies to the later sentences; things need not be in the order they were revealed to us in the source material.
 * 22) **I believe this has now been addressed.
 * 23) * The whole last paragraph of the intro...I'm not really seeing the necessity of it. It's akin to having one third of a character's intro summarize their "Legacy" section. I'd like to see it condensed to one or two lines or removed outright.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) * Per objection number two, the majority of "Binding ceremony ambush" is written from the POV of the Jedi. It should be written from the wedding's POV, if that makes sense. Same with the next section.
 * 26) **Should be good now. Addressed.
 * 27) **That's not really possible, due to the fact that the story is written from the Jedi's POV. We see nothing about the preceding events, except for the shooting down of the Nebulon Ranger, which happened to the Jedi. If anything, the article would have to be renamed, not using the binding ceremony as the subject. I'm open to suggestions. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:06, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ***Well...we have things like "What they found was a wedding already in progress" etc - it should be stated that the wedding began (we do know this much) and was then interrupted, and why, etc. I know information is scant for certain times of the wedding, but parts of it read like a summary of any of the Jedi's bios and this can be at least partially remedied, despite the lack of info. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:12, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **Addressed, per above.
 * 30) * Is "Ceremony" an apt title for that section? It seems to just cover the banquet which doesn't seem to be part of the actual ceremony.
 * 31) * Is there nothing from anything in the "Sources" section? Tales of the Jedi Companion?
 * 32) **Nothing that presents any new info, unfortunately. The Companion, likewise, just reiterates what was laid down in the comics. Greyman ( Talk ) 07:37, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) **-- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:32, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) Toprawa:
 * 35) * The infobox participants field should be in alphabetical order. I would, however, suggest that Oron Kira and Galia remain at the top, but up to you
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * Something needs to be added to the introduction explaining the important significance of how the wedding ushered in an age of peace for Onderon, and that Oron and Galia's plans for doing so succeeded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:57, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) **Addressed. Thanks for the read, Top. Anything else, please let me know. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:35, 8 August 2008 (UTC)

Comments


 * Open to suggestions, critiques, as always. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:24, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Is it a conjectural name, or is it referred to as the "Wedding of Oron Kira and Princess Galia" in the comic/audio drama? If it is a conjectural name, it should be moved to remove the "Princess." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:37, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Yeah, it was actually called the "Binding Ceremony of...", in the audio drama. The article has been moved to reflect this. Thank you for looking, Ackbar, pleasure doing business with you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:38, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Also, kudos to Sir Goodwood for adding the KOTOR 2 info. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:38, 10 July 2008 (UTC)