Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified flying serpent


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified flying serpent

 * Nominated by: &mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 20:52, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(1 ECs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) GTQ 01:50, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2) Flying serpents with eyebrows...  Imperators II (Talk) 22:04, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) Reminds me of Puff the Magic Dragon. ~  Savage  BOB sig.png 22:05, April 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) I'll not try to top Puff the Magic Dragon. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 17:08, April 23, 2011 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Rubedubedo
 * 2) * Could you mention the spots on the wings. Perhaps his off-color jaw as well.
 * 3) **Added
 * 4) * How did the Ewoks scare it? If it was simply by entering the cave, don't worry about this.
 * 5) **Yeah, it just seems it was scared by their approach.
 * 6) * "Its purple body, which was long and flexible, held a rattle at the end." Could you rephrase "held" here?
 * 7) **How's "sported"?
 * 8) * Mention its fangs. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:44, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) **Added. Thanks for the review, Naru!&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 00:05, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 10) GTQ
 * 11) * I don't think the episodes director and writer is necessary information GTQ 01:35, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 12) **Most BTS sections of in-universe articles provide the creator of the work in which the subject appears, as it gives information as to who created the subject in the first place.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 01:44, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 13) ***hmm good pointGTQ 01:49, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) SavageBob
 * 15) * This seems like an article on one individual member of this serpent species. Any reason for this? Why not treat this as a creature article with just a bit of modification in the language? ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 21:30, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 16) **It's supposed to be about the whole species; I'm assuming you're referring to "frightened the creature" rather than "frightened one of these creatures" or something along those lines. Anything else, specifically, that implies it's about the individual rather than the species? Thanks.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 21:35, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 17) *** Yeah, that line and the first line: "A flying serpent lived in a cave on the Forest Moon of Endor." Perhaps rephrase to, "A species of flying serpent lived on the Forest Moon of Endor. At least one specimen lived in a cave..." ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 21:44, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 18) ****How's that? Per request of in the Snow monster nomination, I've tried to refrain from pluralizing, as only one of these creatures is actually seen.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 21:51, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) ***** With snow monster, though, you mention that it's a species you're talking about, but here you don't. It's fine to use singular after that by indicating that "One member of the species/specimen/however you want to word it was purple..." etc. ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 22:12, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 20) ******Eh, I meant to add the word "species" in, heh. What do you think now?&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 22:16, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 21) * There's a bit more physical description you could mention: the spikes on the head, the location of the wings (slightly aft from the midpoint of the body), and the snout. ~ Savage  BOB sig.png 21:47, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) **Added.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 22:00, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Actually, I'd describe those as slightly forward of the midpoint; I've changed it accordingly.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 00:46, April 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * 24) Imperators II
 * 25) * Shouldn't the rattle also be mentioned in the Distinctions field of the infobox?
 * 26) **Added
 * 27) * Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that "Mostly purple, but with a paler face and spots on its wings" at the moment refers to the creature's mouth.  Imperators II (Talk) 21:49, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
 * 28) **Oops, nice catch. Fixed.&mdash; Axinal  Convocation Chamber 22:00, April 21, 2011 (UTC)