Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/R3-S6

R3-S6

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 07:44, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Most likely my last TCW project for a while.

Xd1358

 * "The droid was dropped off inside Skywalker's Venator-class Star Destroyer, the Resolute." Can you merge this rather short sentence with another, perhaps the previous?
 * "Inside the Twilight, R3 and Tano received a transmission from R2. Skywalker ordered them to track the signal, which led the group to the moon Ruusan 2." Two choppy sentences; please merge.
 * Skytop Station comes out of nowhere in the intro. Can you find a way to clarify that it's on Ruusan 2?
 * More tomorrow; way too tired atm. :P 1358  (Talk)  20:19, January 16, 2011 (UTC)
 * All addressed; thanks, Xd.  JangFett  (Talk) 01:22, January 17, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Grievous watched R3's progress and even contacted the droid at times." I don't think this can be sourced to DoaD.
 * The sourcing for the first sentence of that section wasn't right.
 * "R3 was sent to his "new master" shortly after the Battle of Bothawui. During the battle, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker lost his astromech droid, R2-D2, and needed a replacement." Choppy sentences, please merge.
 * "When Skywalker arrived near his Padawan&hellip;" That is a bit awkward; "arrived near" doesn't really work. Perhaps something like "arrived in the hangar" would be better. This sentence could probably be merged with the previous one, too.
 * These should be good.  JangFett  (Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * "The freighter's owner, Gha Nachkt, greeted the two Jedi, and took interest in R3. The Trandoshan offered to trade a C-14 droid in exchange for R3, though Tano rejected his deal." Again two rather choppy sentences. Instead of a period, something like "&hellip;in R3, offering to trade&hellip;" could be used.
 * Remains. 1358  (Talk)  18:11, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * Can you use a synonym for Skywalker in some places, like "Jedi Knight"? "Skywalker" is getting quite repetitive. Same goes for Tano.
 * "After coming across a door, to which Skywalker believed R2 was being held behind&hellip;" That doesn't sound quite right. I think it should be something like " After coming across a door, behind which Skywalker believed R2 was being held&hellip;", but I'm not sure. See what you can do to it.
 * "Instead, R3 activated the cargo room's lights and activated a pair of IG-86 sentinel droids." "Activated" used twice in close succession; please vary.
 * IMHO, it is unencyclopedic if a paragraph begins with "But". Perhaps change it to "However"?
 * That paragraph has been checked.  JangFett  (Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Although, R3, instead, activated the fighter's tracking beacon." I don't think although is the word you are looking for.
 * Seems to be there still. 1358  (Talk)  18:11, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Though the droids were destroyed, thanks to the timely intervention of Tano and Captain CC-7567, nicknamed "Rex," onboard the Twilight." Seems like something is missing here.
 * "Because Skywalker's group had to free fall down toward the listening post, Tano gave Rex the duty of carrying R3." Hmm, while I do understand what you are saying as I have seen the episode, it isn't really good. It really wasn't because a free fall jump was needed that Tano gave Rex the duty, was it? It's kinda hard to explain what I'm saying. I would suggest something like this: "As Skywalker's group had to free fall down to the listening post in order to avoid being detected, Tano tasked Rex with carrying R3 during the free fall."
 * All addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * "While the two Jedi used the Force to help them descended toward the station&hellip;" This is factually incorrect; the Jedi used the Force to make their landing soft, not to descend. In addition, "descended" is currently in the wrong tense.
 * "Tano ordered R3 to deactivate the shield, though B1 and B2 battle droids spotted the group." This doesn't work. The droids didn't appear because of Tano's order; that's how it currently sounds.
 * Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * Overall, there are a few more choppy and short sentences that would benefit from a merge. See if you can go through the article and merge some short ones in addition to the ones mentioned above. 1358  (Talk)  13:14, January 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks, Xd. I went back and gave the article another copy-edit. Let me know if you see anything else.  JangFett  (Talk) 01:54, January 31, 2011 (UTC)

Prepare to be savaged...
I'm probably going to have to take this one section by section, so here's the lead:
 * "Grievous, however, confronted Tano's group, and the Padawan engaged him, although she retreated with R3 to a storage room." I think it'd be good to say briefly why Tano retreated to the closet. More later! ~ SavageBob 00:18, February 1, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
I like the article. It's solid and contains pretty much everything one should know about the character. MillieMuddFan67 19:38, January 17, 2011 (UTC)