Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/EXP-7(a) Predator


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

EXP-7(a) Predator

 * Nominated by: Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 22:00, July 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:My contribution to the Barn Burner

(1 ECs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) N  AYAYEN  15:11, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice gun.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  17:51, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3)  Kilson ( Let's have a chat ) 18:32, July 31, 2011 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nayayen
 * 2) * Could the image here not be moved to the infobox with a caption?
 * 3) **moved, not sure how to add a caption for an infobox image. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 14:29, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Rather than have the caption in the image link, you put it after the image with a  tag to put it on a new line. I've done that for you.  N  AYAYEN  15:11, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 5) *Nothing else, but be mindful of your linking. The intro in a CAN still counts under the linking rules. N  AYAYEN  13:28, July 29, 2011 (UTC)


 * 1) Exiled Jedi
 * 2) * You forgot to source the model field of the infobox. -- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  13:33, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 3) **fixed. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 14:29, July 29, 2011 (UTC)


 * 1) Kilson
 * 2) * You should add another one or two sentences to the Intro. You could mention who manufactured the weapon, how many of them were made, the fact that Batta owned one, and a brief mention of the gun's characteristics.
 * 3) **expanded, don't want to include too much or I feel it would be redundant. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 00:10, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I expanded it a bit.
 * 5) * You forgot to fill in the Eras field in the Infobox.
 * 6) **fixed<- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 00:10, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 7) * You need to switch the History and Characteristics sections. Characteristics always goes first.
 * 8) **Switched. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 00:10, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 9) *In the History section, could you mention a time period when Batta killed that modrol. Also, can you say where he killed, because the way it is written right now, it isn't very clear.
 * 10) **fixed<- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 00:10, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 11) *** OK, here's the problem. The Rebellion era is an out-of-universe term. You need to use something in-universe in the article, like "sometime during the Galactic Civil War."
 * 12) ****fixed to the correct era. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 02:19, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 13) ***** You still haven't mentioned where the hunting expedition took place. Once you get that, I'll support. Kilson ( Let's have a chat ) 03:50, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 14) ******Ok fixed. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 14:24, July 31, 2011 (UTC)
 * 15) *Overall, I think you could expand this article a bit and bring it to the GAN. We can discuss that more after you have addressed these objections. Kilson ( Let's have a chat ) 21:24, July 29, 2011 (UTC)
 * 16) **think I've addressed all your concerns, not much more to add, the source is only a paragraph :) <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 00:10, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 17) *You need to reference the first paragraph in the History section. You also had a reffing mistake with the Body reffing, but I corrected that. Look at the edit history to see what I mean.
 * 18) **referenced. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 02:19, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 19) * You should give context on a modrol in the History section.
 * 20) **fixed<- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 02:19, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 21) * I still believe you could bring this over 250, but we will see after you make these corrections. Kilson ( Let's have a chat ) 01:53, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 22) **up to 316 words, but that includes all the infobox and stuff. Not sure how to get an exact word count to decide the border between CA and GA. Let me know. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 02:19, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
 * 23) ***A word count is determined by counting the Intro, body, and bts. In any case, it seems like the article won't get over 250, so you're good.
 * 24) Bob
 * 25) * Can we get a couple words of context on modrol in the intro?
 * 26) **added.
 * 27) * "and had to be strapped to the user's back when not in use" --> Did it have to be, or was this simply the way most users carried it? I mean, presumably, the thing could be set down on a table or something, put on a gun rack, etc.
 * 28) **source specifically says this, but I reworded it some to make it more clear.
 * 29) * Can you elaborate on what you mean by "very restricted"? Restricted to whom?
 * 30) **reworded a bit, not sure the actual restrictions since it's a game mechanic.
 * 31) *** OK, I see. In this case, the availability value from the OS isn't so much a game mechanic as it is a form of shorthand. In this case, I think you cover the extreme rarity of the gun well enough in the "History" section, so you could probably remove the note on availability completely from "Description." If you decide to keep the note, reword maybe to say, "Its ownership was restricted by its manufacturer" or something. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 17:27, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Fixed, but I think I'll dig through some of my old sourcebooks and see if I can find a more definitive definition of the X restriction. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 17:34, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 33) * Whose adjutant was Kleck, Batta or Ghecharo? ~ Savage BOB sig.png 15:31, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 34) **fixed. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 16:56, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * 35) ***At any rate, you're at 255 words now. You should probably take this to GAN! ~ Savage BOB sig.png 17:45, August 2, 2011 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just two quick questions: Does the book have any available information on the legal restrictions on purchasing this item? Or does the book have any information on the range of the weapon? If it does I think the information should be added to the article, because I do not think the information should be considered game mechanics.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  15:38, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * I don't have a copy of Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game, so I am unsure what they are. The source states availability of 4,X and range 3-30/80/350.  I didn't include them since I assumed they were primarily game mechanics, but if someone can give me values for these, I'll include them in the article. Thanks! <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 16:19, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Availablity 4 means that the item is extremely rare, which makes sense since there were only a few of the guns made. "X" means that it was illegal for all but the most regulated circumstances (the military could probably use it). For the range, I would only worry about the last number which means that the weapon has a maximum range of 350 meters. The other range numbers are for short range and medium range, with 0-2 meters being point blank. However, only the maximum range is really necessary im my opinion.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  17:13, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Ok thanks for explaining the gameplay stats. I've added them to the Characteristics section. <- Omicron (Leave a message at the BEEP! ) 17:21, August 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * If you need help with other nominations that have sources from West End Games sourcebooks, I will be happy to help as far as I am able to.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  21:34, August 1, 2011 (UTC)