Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Koffi Arana


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Koffi Arana

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:10, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Call him a jerk if you like, but a lot of us would be crazed if the institution we served turned our backs on us&hellip;

(5 Inqs/5 Users/10 Total)
Support
 * 1) We'll need more Purge characters.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:21, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Menkooroo 13:13, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 06:11, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) —Tommy  9281 12:38, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:53, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:13, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:02, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:03, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:23, May 6, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee attacks
 * 2) * Shortly after the meeting, Arana participated in the battle of the planet Boz Pity. Doesn't sound good. participated in a battle on the planet Boz Pity would be better.
 * 3) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * The last few sentences in the Order 66 section are choppy.
 * 5) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The first two sentences in the second part of the intro are choppy too.
 * 7) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * The Ambush on Kessel section is also choppy in the beginning.
 * 9) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * Potkin revealed to Arana and the Jedi that she had leaked false intelligence that Obi-Wan Kenobi would be attending the meeting and added that the Dark Lord Darth Vader was coming to the meeting in hopes of finding Kenobi. Why would Vader want to kill Kenobi ?
 * 11) **I don't believe the reason for Vader wanting to kill Kenobi is relevant to Arana, he and the other Jedi did not know.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * Second part of Ambush on Kessel are choppy too.
 * 13) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * Some choppy sentences in the P&T.
 * 15) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Lightsaber color should be in the P&A.
 * 17) **I'd have to disagree, since I would think a Jedi's blade color was more about their personality; their ability with it belongs in the P&A.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:48, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Well but mention in the first P&A sentence that his lightsaber was blue-bladed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:59, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Ah and take a look at this articles.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:01, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****Added the blue-bladed part. Also, if you take a look at this article, the color and the skill with the lightsaber are seperately mentioned.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:10, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******Well, I believe that's different from user to user. Nevermind.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *That's all from me. Good work.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:39, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks, Lee.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:50, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * File:KoffiArana.jpg is in violation of rule #4. Move it to another spot in the article, or remove it altogether. --Imperialles 13:26, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * Say he was born on Turkhana in the Bio.
 * 3) **It already does, it redirects to Turkana, which is why it says what it says.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * You should mention that Vader's arm is cybernetic.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Why did Arana kill Swan?
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * The records that Sate Pestage altered were from a compiliation of various reports created by Marcellin Wessel. That the files were sent to Palpy for approval to be sent over the new news nets should be in the article.
 * 9) **How's this?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:28, April 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Does it say what kind of power struggle? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:05, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ****The report says "a mad scramble for power". That's all it says.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *What a gentleman. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:19, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Naru!
 * 14) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 15) *I love it when people FAN film characters! Awesome choice. Looks great; skillfully-written and well-linked. Just a few minor things:
 * 16) * Which underworld did Arana hide in? The criminal underworld? The Coruscant underworld?
 * 17) **The source doesn't explicitly say. It says "&hellip;slipping underground for several weeks&hellip;". That could mean anything, and I put down "underworld", so as to avoid copying directly from the source.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Is it necessary to identify Arana as a Human male in p&t? Once in the intro and once in the main body seems enough.
 * 19) **The Inqs don't seem to mind, they usually want me to do this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Can the p&t sentences "Bultar Swan tried to reason with him, but Arana would not listen and told Swan to give her lightsaber to him so that he could kill the Sith. When she refused..." be trimmed down? Maybe something like "When Bultar Swan disagreed and would not surrender her lightsaber..." It's more concise, and eliminates the possibility of an NPOV issue when you state that Swan was "reasoning" with him.
 * 21) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * I'm a little confused --- if Arana was introduced in Revenge of the Sith, why would he need to be retconned to be in it? Did the character of Arana exist before Corroney's blog entry was written? Or did Leland simply say "That dude in ROTS is named Koffi Arana"? If the latter is true, it's not really a retcon, is it? Menkooroo 02:26, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Yes, the character was unidentified before Corroney's blog was written, then Chee said this in response to Abel G. Pena's comment about it being a young Qu Rahn illustration: "Err, yeah&hellip; about that. That guy's someone else who survived Order 66. His name is Koffi Arana and you may be seeing a little bit more of him in the future." On a later date, Corroney says this : "Koffi is in RotS. You can glimpse him briefly outside the Jedi Temple briefing room as Obi-Wan and Anakin are leaving (or it might be as Anakin is entering... can't recall at the moment)." hence the (official) retcon.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:13, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Ah, OK. The wording is still kind of confusing, though --- first saying that he was introduced in ROTS, and then that he was retconned to have been in it. I'd suggest putting the blog stuff before the ROTS stuff, as it seems that Koffi was first introduced in Corroney's blog before being retconned to be in ROTS. Menkooroo 00:05, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:01, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Thanks for the review!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:22, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) Attack of the Clone
 * 28) * Please limit your use of "killed." The multiple uses of it with no other synonyms are getting rather strained.
 * 29) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:59, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "He advocated killing the Sith Lords out of revenge": this is worded awkwardly and doesn't have a proper flow. Do you mean that he was advocating for killing the Sith out of revenge? Also, please be more specific about this "revenge." Revenge for what?
 * 31) **Honestly can't remember how this got there, removed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:59, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***I've corrected this for you, but next time please make sure to use "advocated for" instead of just "advocated," as that is the proper and established English idiom.  CC7567  (talk) 06:11, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Ok, will do.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:24, April 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "When Bultar Swan disagreed and refused to surrender her lightsaber so that he could murder the Sith Lord, Arana murdered Swan with her own lightsaber": please change one of these "murdered"s.
 * 35) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:59, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * Can something be mentioned in his P&A regarding his duel with Vader? Even saying that "he was unable to defeat Vader" gives a rather specific indication to his abilities and will be useful to the article.  CC7567  (talk) 07:22, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:59, April 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) Toprawa:
 * 39) * Does the source italicize "HoloNet News?" Because I'm curious why you do so here: "The Jedi Master's image was featured in the final edition of HoloNet News."
 * 40) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:13, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * Is this intended to be a reference to the Coruscant Underworld? If so, please link: "After hiding in the underworld for one month" Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:27, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **None of the sources specifically say. Thanks for the review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:13, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) Xicer
 * 44) * Following on from Tope's last objection, I noticed looking through Koffi's entry in Destroy All Jedi that it says he slipped underground for several weeks. "Underground" and "underworld" are not synonymous, please use a different word.
 * 45) **Hmmm. I honestly can't find a good synonym for "underground", so I guess I'll use it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:59, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) * Koffi's entry also states that he was "slaughtered by his fellow Jedi in a mad scramble for power." Could you work this into the last portion of his Bio? It might fit better than using the sentence from Swan's entry.
 * 47) **I honestly don't know how this got there. and I are working on Bultar Swan's article, so perhaps I accidentally copied part of it onto here and forgot. Anyway ,please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:59, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) * I've been told that it's customary to place images below quotes so as to not obstruct them, please do this with the Bts image.
 * 49) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:59, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) *That's it, good work. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 21:55, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) **Thanks for the review!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:59, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) Trayus Academy:
 * 53) * In the first paragraph of the bio you state that Arana fought in the Battle of Boz Pity following the meeting with Kenobi. In Star Wars: Obsession, the battle takes place well before the events of the film. I've looked at the source you reference the statement to, and all it says is that Arana participated in the battle at the "tail end" of the Clone Wars, which does not necessarily mean it was directly at the end. It's likely referring to the only Battle of Boz Pity we've seen thus far, which means the statement would have to be moved earlier in the bio.
 * 54) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:54, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * I would look for a way to combine the following sentences: "The forces of the new Empire were aware that Arana had survived Order 66. The Jedi Master's image was featured in the final edition of HoloNet News."
 * 56) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:54, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) *That's it from me. Good job. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:11, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) **Thanks for the review, Trayus!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:54, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) Toprawa:
 * 60) * Post-voting objection: You list "Casualty Report: Order 66" in the Appearances list. From what I can see in that article, this is not an Appearance. In fact, it's not an OOU media item of any kind at all. I don't know if you mean to list the Insider article it evidently appears in, but this needs to be resolved. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:19, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) **Hmmm, then I'll remove it. I suppose I can still list the incident report beside the source, right?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:46, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ***Sure. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:50, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * The .ogg file is from 2007, so it's presumably outdated and probably should be axed/updated. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:54, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Killed until I can find a way to update/find someone that can update it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:30, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * One note about my copy-edit: I changed two instances of "the other seven Jedi" (p&t and p&a) to "seven other Jedi", as it kind of sounded like there were only seven other Jedi left in the galaxy. Feel free to change it back if you disagree. Menkooroo 02:26, April 27, 2010 (UTC)