Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Dud Bolt

Dud Bolt

 * Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 00:36, October 31, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bolting down yet another podracer pilot.

Support

 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 00:56, November 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 06:08, March 1, 2014 (UTC)

Point IV

 * "Despite his rather rudimentary presence" - A rudimentary presence? Interesting turn of phrase, I think it might be a bridge too far though. Perhaps rudimentary "appearance"?
 * Mmm, maybe read it now.
 * Section, quote, sub-section doesn't quite work. Find a home for it in one of the subsections.
 * Must... Add... More-Quotes...  To balance...  Heh, but alright.
 * "Not in it to win it himself" - A bit informal and reads oddly, rephrase.
 * How about now?
 * "The Vulptereen's aggressive tendencies furthered themselves" - I'm not sure that tendencies can further themselves per se -- perhaps something like "amplified" would be advisable.
 * Thesaurus is always useful, though amplified does seem pretty good.
 * "Around 32 BBY, the next iteration of the Boonta Eve Classic on the Outer Rim planet of Tatooine was announced." - You've sourced this to TPM... strictly speaking this does not happen in TPM.
 * Well, strictly speaking, no it's not announced, per-say. I see your point.
 * "Sebulba found Dud Bolt having a drink, and promptly insulted the Vulptereen. Bolt took little offence while Sebulba explained it was only an act, meant to hide the fact that Bolt was working for him. Sebulba even claimed that he respected the Vulptereen pilot. As such, Sebulba cautioned Bolt to be extra careful of the contestants and to keep his eyes open for any signs of trouble or plotting. Meanwhile, only a few seats away in the bar the aging Devlikk pilot Wan Sandage had hired on the Glymphid hit-man Aldar Beedo, whom Sandage wanted to finish off Sebulba during the race." - Both PBP and extraneous in parts.
 * Condensed
 * "Fode Annodue, introduced the pilots, cheerfully welcoming Bolt and his podracer back to the Boonta." - It should be established earlier that Bolt has raced the Boonta Eve Classic, then.
 * Ok
 * "Jabba the Hutt, the host for the race, arrived in his personal viewing box soon after and exorbitantly announced the start of the race. The pilots burst out of the starting grid and raced onto the track with the Hutt's go-ahead." - Condense.
 * Condensed
 * "Two pilots, however, were left behind–Anakin Skywalker and the Toong pilot Ben Quadinaros. Skywalker was able to start off a little later after readjusting his pod while Ben remained grounded for the rest of the race." - Irrelevant, this is Bolt's biography, not a summary of the race.
 * Condensed
 * "Skywalker was able to catch up with the rear of the pack soon after, overtaking Bolt and several other podracers. Dud Bolt remained in the rear of the pack for the remainder of the race." - Repetition of "rear of the pack", break it up a tad.
 * How's that
 * A part of the article, namely Guo's removal causing difficulty for Skywalker is from the DVD-onwards incarnation of TPM. A separate cite should be used for this.
 * Mmm, okay.
 * "However, sometime around 24 BBY, Sebulba ejected Bolt from his job at the Dug's side" - An odd way of phrasing it. How about "Sebulba terminated Bolt's services as his in-race bodyguard"?
 * Mmm, how does it look now?
 * "Sebulba ejected Bolt from his job at the Dug's side and instead hired Aldar Beedo, the very Glymphid who was once hired to kill Sebulba, to work as Sebulba's new bodyguard." - Sebulba three times in the same sentence, break it up.
 * kay
 * You're going to need to provide a more detailed citation for Bolt's "presence" in AOTC.
 * Not sure what you mean, but I gave a source for the identification of that planet as Ando Prime (As otherwise it's never mentioned in the film itself). If you mean "Is it him", looking closely in the cockpit during the scene and in the new photo, the cockpit is clearly not empty, and the round shape of Bolt is in there, though shadowed.  Look at the CGI podracer in the databank and note the the shape.
 * Screencap addresses the issue.
 * "In the end, however, Bolt was never able to completely finish off Aldar Beedo during a race, as Beedo was captured by a mercenary on Baroonda" - Repetition of Beedo. In general, try to break up the way that you refer to characters.
 * Okay
 * "As for Sebulba, his fate was not recorded, though he had both a son named Hekula, and a grandson named Pugwis." - Irrelevant.
 * Condensed, as we never know if Dud Bolt catches Sebulba or not, as Sebulba's fate is never revealed, or not yet anyways. Wasn't totally sure how to word it though, but I feel it should be mentioned, as he shouldn't just simply disappear from the article whereas we learn that Bolt never gets Beedo.
 * "though if his course demeanor ever slowed him down, his pod's boost package generally threw him back into the thick of things, where he preferred it." - A lot of informal phrasing, and "course demeanor" is doesn't really function well as a description.
 * Alright, how does it sound now?
 * "He did not care much for his pod's appearance and his track activities were obvious with the battle scars that his pod showed off." - Repetition of "pod"
 * Okay, er, now?
 * "After he was more-or-less double-crossed by Sebulba, an enraged Bolt vowed to destroy his old employer and his new bodyguard, Aldar Beedo." - This is out of place in the P&T, in the middle of a part where you're talking about how Bolt regards and treats his own pod. Split it up and rejig it.
 * ¿Qué pasa ahora?
 * "Bolt had rather short legs, which were quite dwarfed by his long arms, that were more than double the length of his legs. Bolt had yellow eyes and skin that was predominately grayish-blue, though it had areas of a much lighter blue that bordered the color of white, along with a yellow patch on his stomach." - Sentences starting the same way, repetitive.
 * Tried to vary it a bit now
 * Elements of the P/T that are describing the Vulptereen species have nothing to do with his personality or traits, which is that that section is for.
 * Alright, removed the echolocation info. Maybe it'd be useful if it could be related to his piloting ability.
 * "As such, Bolt held on to these traits." - Feels out of place and doesn't mean anything. "He had given skills and as a result he kept them."
 * How does it read now
 * "However, his skills weren't ubiquitous or all-consuming." - How would his skills be ubiquitous? Perhaps you mean "flawless" or even "impeccable" or even "indefatigable" or something like that, but certainly not ubiquitous.
 * Yah, that was the wrong terminology. How about now.
 * The skills section keeps talking about "skills skills skills" - Break up the descriptors a bit.
 * Okay, how does it look now?
 * How can the character have first appeared in a video game that came out on the same day as the film? Perhaps mention that he's in the film, and is a playable character in the tie-in video game that was released on the same day. This is especially so given that he's a puppet and principal photography was done in 1997 or something.
 * It's just that both appeared on the same day, which is mentioned. Now, if we wanna get real technical and just not use the tag, then we can go off the fact that TPM had a midnight release, thus meaning it opened before regular business hours for a store, as such meaning it was available to the public before the game was, even if they were released on the same day.  I don't think principal photography really matters at all, because as far as I know (And if I'm wrong) the Appearances section is about release date, above all else.  Unless that's not what you meant, in which case, I have no idea.
 * If the character truly appears and it's not just his pod in AOTC, a screenshot would be in order. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 23:35, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
 * Explained this further above, but I added the shot, replacing that awful old one, where Bolt wasn't even in the cockpit! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:50, November 10, 2013 (UTC)

El Jefe

 * Is it really proper to just refer to a podracer as a "Pod"? I've only ever seen the full term used.
 * I'm pretty sure I've seen this, but I will check again to see if the slang is used in any actual source.
 * Actually, I'm fairly certain Anakin refers to one simply as a "P/pod" in The Phantom Menace, when he's talking about he had managed to save most of his racer during his last crash. I'll have to watch it again, but I'll just note that here real quick. It might not be "proper," but it'd be in-universe slang. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:19, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
 * If so, I guess that should be fine then.  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 06:08, March 1, 2014 (UTC)
 * "Dud Bolt targeted the Nuknog pilot Ark Roose to knock out, and while he was successful in knocking Roose from the race," Double knock.
 * Fixed
 * Context on Teemto Pagalies.
 * Added
 * "hired the Glymphid hit-man Aldar Beedo to off Sebulba during the race" To "off" Sebulba is pretty nice mob lingo, but probably too colloquial for this.
 * Wan Sandage is Michael Corleone's third-cousin four times removed. (fixed)
 * "As for Sebulba, his life ended fatally in a fashion his enemies would've been pleased with," First off, "life ended fatally" is pretty redundant. Also, any info on this?  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 00:49, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
 * Fixed redundancy. The NEGC is vague. It simply states he died in a way those who didn't like him would be happy with. There's nothing else I've seen that actually states when he died or how. I think the CSWE doesn't even mention it at all. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:49, February 9, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

 * Do we add Legends/Canon tabs? Bolt was named in The Phantom Menace. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:46, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
 * Eventually, all subjects that appear in both the films and TCW (with a few exceptions) will require Canon/Legends tabs. The current version of this article, as with Kam Nale, is the Legends version.  CC7567  (talk) 18:48, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
 * So in other words, it's not time to implement them yet? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:13, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
 * No, the tab system CT needs to pass before anything can be implemented.  CC7567  (talk) 19:14, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
 * O-oh, I see. I thought it did end up passing. My mistake. Thanks for the info, though! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:20, May 11, 2014 (UTC)