Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * Inquisitorius FAN Triage
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
 * 4) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 5) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 6) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Lando Calrissian

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:35, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From the two directors that brought you Tales of the Jedi and Wraith Squadron! From the project behind Jaina Solo! From the minds behind Mara Jade Skywalker, an action-packed adventure filled with suspense, betrayal, romance, and, of course, inimitable charm. Now playing: The smoothest FAN ever to grace this page, Lando Calrissian!

(2 Inqs/9 Users/11 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) As co-nominator. Greyman ( Talk ) 20:45, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Objections will be fixed soon as sources are checked by several users, including myself.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:29, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles 23:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) This article is supported by Mecenarylord on 23:12, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * CC7567 [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] talk 00:30, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:34, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 00:11, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) — The Flash  Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me bay-bay!  01:59, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Whoa. Nice work. –Victor  Sienar.svg (talk page ) 03:36, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Awesome this will win for sure.Wesker432 09:33, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  16:37, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) He's too smooth!--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:42, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Thanks for the good read. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:57, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

I dare object to Lando
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis:
 * 2) * No info whatsoever from Lando Calrissian: Idiot's Array and Crisis on Cloud City. Not smooth. Thefourdotelipsis 03:04, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The latter has been addressed; I've asked Borsk about the former. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Former is also addressed now. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:12, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium:
 * 6) * Ditto Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin. - Lord Hydronium 03:10, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I've went ahead and added a sentence or two of some background information for this objection. I looked over my copy of the source again and couldn't see anything new beyond the sentences I just added. Is there something specific you're thinking of that I could work in? Greyman ( Talk ) 13:51, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *** There's some other bits on pages 50, 76, and 88. - Lord Hydronium 08:27, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Information added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The mentions of Ymile are rather confusingly arranged. There's a picture of her near where Lando wins the bet with Raynor, but no reference to her in the text, then much later in the article it mentions she helped Lando win. That second part should be noted and clarified at the time it actually occurs; also, she should be linked there, since she isn't at the moment. - Lord Hydronium 00:39, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Succession box should include Treece; Action Tidings and the Cloud City Databank entry both say he was the Administrator of Cloud City. - Lord Hydronium 00:41, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Fixed the Ymile bits and buffed Lady Luck overall. Also, adjusted succession box, reffed from the actual Marvel comics though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:15, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Information missing on how Lando got back Cloud City, from The New Essential Guide to Characters. Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds not in; amongst the things to add is a bit in there about how Lando raised Tibanna profits that's also in the NEC. - Lord Hydronium 07:29, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **The Tibanna profits bit is already in there, just referenced from another source. The Cloud City re-taking has been added. Still working on GATOW. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Two tidbits from GATORW added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:41, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ****Added it to the "Sources" list as well. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Oh, I see; I was searching for "percent". - Lord Hydronium 19:52, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * More NEGTC tidbits: Lando giving control of Cloud City to the Ugnaughts after Zorba cedes it. Lando refusing to go to Chewbacca's funeral out of guilt. From GG3: Lobot convinced Lando to help Leia and the group. - Lord Hydronium 07:45, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **All of the above fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *More missing sources: Rebellion Era Sourcebook, Roleplaying Game Revised Core Rulebook, Roleplaying Game: Saga Edition Core Rulebook , Dark Empire Sourcebook, The Truce at Bakura Sourcebook, Han Solo and the Corporate Sector Sourcebook (I just spotted a small mention, but there could be more) , Heir to the Empire Sourcebook, The Last Command Sourcebook, and Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition . For now. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ** Rebellion Era Sourcebook is listed now, but it needs information from it. There's some on Page 111, for a start. - Lord Hydronium 07:01, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***The info on that page was already in the article. Could you tell me what specifically you are referring to? And the rest of the sourcebooks have been checked and added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:18, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *I had a whole thing for here before, a giant list of every piece of information I could find from these sources that was missing. Then my text editor crashed, so here's a much more general list. The Cloud City section from the RESB has information on Lando's neutrality. The RCR talks about him getting his fortunes and smuggling arms to the Rebellion. DESB needs a ton of information from it. Read the whole thing. Lando's section, Wedge's section, an inset in the Coruscant section, and the Star Destroyer section have major information missing from the article—everything up to Lando crashing on Coruscant is missing. The sourcebooks for HTTE and Dark Force Rising have important information in their Lando sections, as well as the Nkllon section of the former and Lady Luck section of the latter. Dark Force Rising overall needs major expansion. It barely touches on their capture by Garm, the entire search for the fleet, and the battle for the Katana. The first paragraph if the SOTE section is extremely vague and needs expanding; nothing is said about how Rendar is guiding them or how he abandons them, or where the Imperial forces come from.

My recommendation would be to withdraw the nom for now. It's missing too much major information from too many major sources. Dark Empire Sourcebook alone is a huge chunk not included, and with all that's been found, I frankly don't trust that this article is near complete. My advice would be to remove it, to read or reread all the sources thoroughly, rework the article, and then renom it when it's in a more complete state. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC) <!--#* The Young Calrissian comic is listed in the Non-canon section of the appearances, but is in the main body without any special tags. It should be consistent one way or the other. If, as it looks like, the story is mentioned in the CSWE, then I suggest it gets moved out of the non-canon section of the appearances. I also suggest that the reference to YC have a note added along the lines of: "This story was canonized by inclusion in the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia." His ship from this story could also get a mention in the Ships section later on. --Eyrezer 11:00, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Major buffs to SOTE and DFR completed. Will go through the other TTT-related sourcebooks soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Major buffs to HTTE Sourcebook completed, minor buff to Rebellion Era Sourcebook. If you want more information from that source, I'll need a page number, because I just read through the entire thing and found a whopping one sentence of minor information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:11, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****RESB's good. - Lord Hydronium 23:20, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Buffed RCRGR, working on the DFR, TLC sourcebooks. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******TLC sourcebook buffed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * for The Truce at Bakura, but it contains unique information to add. - Lord Hydronium 23:28, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *In addition to the above, the following appearances and mentions are missing: Out of the Closet: The Assassin's Tale, Darksaber, Force Heretic I: Remnant, Therefore I Am: The Tale of IG-88, Payback: The Tale of Dengar, The Last One Standing: The Tale of Boba Fett, X-wing: Rogue Squadron, X-wing: Wedge's Gamble, X-wing: Wraith Squadron, Young Jedi Knights: Heirs of the Force, Young Jedi Knights: The Lost Ones, Young Jedi Knights: Lightsabers, Young Jedi Knights: Darkest Knight, Young Jedi Knights: Shards of Alderaan, Young Jedi Knights: Jedi Bounty, and Young Jedi Knights: The Emperor's Plague. - Lord Hydronium 01:17, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Chack and I have addressed these. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Force Heretic I has a bit about Lando from Jaina's childhood. Find text-searchable versions of these (ask on IRC if you need a source) and search through them for "Lando" or "Calrissian", please, because if the article's missing information from one, there's a chance it's missing from the others. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****No, no. You see, I did find that information when I went through and used text-searchable versions of these the first time. I just decided that particular tidbit was too anecdotal for inclusion in an encyclopedia article. However, if you're set on seeing "Calrissian also taught Jaina Solo to enjoy altha protein drinks during her childhood" in the article, I will add it, despite how trivial it seems. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:17, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *****By itself that tidbit might be too anecdotal, but I think the fact that Lando had more interaction with Jaina in her youth than just going on a mission with her is worth something. - Lord Hydronium 19:08, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ******After our discussion in IRC, I did a little more YJK research and added a paragraph about their interactions in general. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Almost forgot: None of the movie novelizations or radio dramas are included. - Lord Hydronium 01:19, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **This particular objection has been addressed, along with adding a number of other ESB and ROTJ-related appearances. I've checked both novelizations and will check with Tope to make sure there's no new info in the radio dramas. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:19, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Han will have these objections down! We've gotta give them more time! (In all seriousness, we are working on these). Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:40, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Sorry, haven't checked those yet, but another: Galaxywide NewsNets from Adventure Journal 14. "Calrissian Resurfaces as Baron Administrator". - Lord Hydronium 06:36, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Mined. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:45, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy, page 13, bottom left. - Lord Hydronium 05:02, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Tweaked. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *Galaxywide NewsNets in Adventure Journal 5 has another article with Lando info, "Smugglers' Roster: Random Rumors". - Lord Hydronium 01:46, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **Also fixed. Fascinating info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:35, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Gah, redlinks in source list, mine Databank and Wizards. Those first two totally slipped me mind.  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:19, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Red links busted. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:56, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *Databank has been mined and source list updated. Greyman ( Talk ) 15:32, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) Infobox not fully/correctly sourced.  Graestan ( Talk ) 04:24, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *I think I got the missing reference. If you desire other sourcing, please let me know. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:22, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) **Got it on the second try. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) I'd like to take Yrf's comment below and turn it into an actual objection; for instance, I know there are quotes to be had by or about Lando and/or what he was up to at the time for the LCA, TTT, and BFC. Ideally, since the sections are so long, each should probably have a quote.  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:48, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *All sections now have quotes except three tiny sections in the "Non-canon appearances" section in the BtS since quotes do not exist for those parts. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:32, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Hope you found at least one funny one from LCA. ;) Graestan ( Talk ) 23:12, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * File:Lando91.jpg, File:LanLukVil.jpg, File:Weaklando.jpg, File:Lando&Luke Marvel71.jpg and File:Lando&Han captive.jpg could all do with a re-scan. Other than that, excellent work, and about time! :) --Imperialles 13:08, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *All done. I was bored and Ataru mentioned it at the right time. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:16, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Image placement is irrelevant to the text in a number of locations. SinisterSamurai 07:32, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've moved a few things around. As it stands, there are two images that aren't directly pertinent to the sections they are in: the Caamas Document crisis section, and in the Kessel investment sections, where we used generic Lando images to fill gaps that would have left lots of text with no complimentary images. As it is, there's a good balance of images to compliment the text, but by removing those, the article's appearance would suffer accordingly. And there is article precedent for using generic images to fill "gaps". If there were more relevant images that could be substituted in, just point me in their direction and I'll gladly change it, but for now, it should stay as it is. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:03, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Looks good.
 * 5) Needs info from Star Wars: Power of the Jedi. Thefourdotelipsis 08:54, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:55, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Eyrezer:
 * 1) **It doesn't seem to be mentioned in CSWE, according to Chack. I've added in non-canon tags in the main body, will get to the ships section soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:50, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Correction. Our page seems to list the comic as canon, so I'll check and see if I can find where it was canonized. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:53, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****Purpilia added CSWE as a source on the Meek page, which is what I was going by. Probably not mentioned in Lando's article itself, though. --Eyrezer 09:24, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Yeah, I've fixed just about all the objection, need to add the ships section, though. ships section added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:28, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******Great. With the Meek story, doesn't the CSWE say it was reported by HNN sources? This should be added, in a way that reflects the potential ambiguity or unreliability of the account that seems to be suggested in the Encyclopedia entry. --Eyrezer 14:03, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *******That's exactly what CSWE reports. I've updated the article to reflect that. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:36, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Osuno Whett is reintroduced too abruptly in the ThonBaka section. It needs to be explained how/why he was there.
 * 8) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Did Bria change her mind? I thought it might have always been her plan to rip off the smugglers.
 * 10) **Rebel Dawn and our Tharen article are ambiguous at best. I've ambiguified it also in the Lando article correspondingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Shortly thereafter, Calrissian found himself on another treasure hunt sponsored by a trio of Hutts eagerly hunting the fabled Yavin Vassilika, a priceless, gemlike statuette, having been saved by Bib Fortuna after losing a game of sabacc." This makes it sound as though the Vassilika was saved by Fortuna.
 * 12) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Are you certain about the placement of the Ruins of Dantooine stuff? It would make so much more sense if it didn't interrupt his trip to Bespin...
 * 14) **Well, the Galaxy of Fear stuff happened in 7 months ABY, and Lando doesn't win Cloud City until after 2 ABY, according to AJ 14, which is set circa 2 ABY according to my sources. That's why the Ruins of Dantooine stuff is there&mdash;it's before he wins Cloud City and after the Galaxy of Fear stuff, as Ruins of Dantooine is set 1.5 ABY. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***A shame, but that seems right. --Eyrezer 23:48, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * An appropriate mention of Tocneppil and Dash somewhere in the early sections should be added, based on that quote at the start of "Revenge attempts." Also a mention of Moabab would be good.
 * 17) **I'm not a big fan of saying "Calrissian met X" ten paragraphs before they actually have significant encounters with him, but I recognize that that opinion is not universally held. I've mentioned Tocneppil, Dash, and Mungo Baobab farther up, in a general sort of way since the timeline is unknown. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Yeah, I can understand that. I mainly requested it because Tocneppil was not otherwise mentioned in the bio.
 * 19) * Can you explain why EV-9D9 was a suspect at that early point? Do we know that the Idiot's Array story is not after EV's attempt?
 * 20) **I have no explanation, so I've moved EV-9D9's story to before Idiot's Array. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Great. I hoped that might be possible, but I wasn't sure. --Eyrezer 22:51, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Furthermore, he stated that he intended to keep things running smoothly at Calrissian, using a modus operandi he described as the Lando System." Is this meant to be running smoothly at Bespin?
 * 23) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * The Fact Files sources list needs to be expanded, and the reference notes likewise made more specific. (per this CT).
 * 25) **Cav has promised me FF goodness, will update as soon as I have my hands on them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Fact Files are now in the source list, and the references have been updated accordingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * I suspect that "the death of scientist Lem on Cloud City" is the same as "when a noted scientist, Doctor Issan Len was murdered." These should be combined.
 * 28) **I was hoping someone would say that. It only appears as Lem in the Fact File, but I left in just because one could look at it through a hyperinclusionist point of view and say that they're different incidents. Removed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***I added a redirect.
 * 30) * The image of Boba Fett in the Precursor section is out of place. Is there no appropriate image from Crisis on Cloud City?
 * 31) **Working on it, but the images from Crisis are junk in quality. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Okay, I was able to get my hands on scans on every image from Crisis, and there's only one tolerable image of Calrissian, and it's a small, crudely-drawn black & white. If you want that, I can scan it in, but otherwise, there's only some general pictures of Cloud City and other characters. That being the case, I swapped out the Bob Fett one for another one from ESB that's a little less time-sensitive. However, if you want that one from Crisis or another, we can discuss, and I'm open to suggestions. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Yeah, I really don't like having the ESB image there, but I agree that the pics from inside Crisis are bad. However, I have an idea! What about a crop of the colour image of a firefight on the back of Crisis? As this must be depicting the events of the book, it seems a suitable image. --Eyrezer 12:28, 12 May 2009 (UTC) EDIT: Here it is here. A cleaner version would be nicer. What do you think? --Eyrezer 10:15, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Uploaded and added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Just as they rocketed off the station," in the Destruction fo the Tarkin section. Were they in space suits or another ship? Could you clarify?
 * 36) **Clarified, with thanks to QuiGonJinn for the info. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:07, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * A few of the WEG sources actually link to a disambig for first and second editions. Could you link to the actual ones, and add in the second editions, etc... unless we have policy otherwise.
 * 38) **I checked them, added in second editions for the two Galaxy Guides. I checked the others, but didn't see anything else at a first glance. Did you have other corrections in mind? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:02, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * I'm fairly certain Lando will be in a number of video game guidebooks. (On a quick look at the source list, I couldn't see any.) These likely include the guides from Demolition, Jedi Outcast, and others...
 * 40) **I've taken care of this one myself.
 * 41) ***I've also tweaked the article with some small tidbits of information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) ****Great. --Eyrezer 23:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Lando is in Star Wars: Rebellion (video game), and so also likely Rebellion: Prima's Official Strategy Guide. The game needs to be checked. --Eyrezer 08:27, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **I've talked to Borsk and gotten info from the game. I'll need to work on the guide-it's rather hard to get a hold of. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I've been reliably informed that this source contains no new info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:20, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The Return to Cloud City section: "Spotting a chance to divert Lobot's attention from himself to the Imperials..." I don't understand how this is meant to work. How will attacking the trooper's divert Lobot's attention? Secondly, there is only one short paragraph on Star Wars 83: Sweetheart Contract. This should be expanded to the level of detail of the other Marvel comics. --Eyrezer 11:10, 24 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * In the first paragraph of the Black Sun section, it would be good just to add a little half-line regarding Luke. The previous section ends with him left behind, and I know that he has some other adventures/complications. While they don't need to be described, it should mention that Luke has rejoined the Rebels or something.
 * 49) **Sure. Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Can you explain why Benedict Vidkun attacked them?
 * 51) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *I added this pic, but you may prefer this one instead. --Eyrezer 10:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * In the Star Wars Technical Journal (Volume One), page 17, it is mentioned that Lando added the quad lasers to the MF. I haven't read down to the ships section yet, but this should be added if not already. --Eyrezer 11:46, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) **Adjusted. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * Finding Argo and Vanis: context on who Mone is. How was Calrissian and co able to buy it from the Imps without them realizing they were rebels? Wasn't it because Lando disguised himself as Drebble?
 * 56) **Tweaked up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * In the same section, "There, Calrissian learned that Solo had been delivered to Jabba Desilijic Tiure while undercover on Arcan IV, posing as Drebble." It is not clear who was undercover. Also, the mention of Arcan IV in this sentence is probably unnecessary. You also need to mention how/why Lando already had The Minstrel in his possession.
 * 58) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * Which member of the gang tried to steal the statue? A number of the members have articles here, and so a link should be added to the appropriate one, or a redlink given.
 * 60) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * "They then helped Organa board the Falcon and returned to rendezvous with Alliance forces." A bit more info here, please. (Mission to Yinchorr section)
 * 62) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * You mention Calrissian is fluent in 18 languages. As far as possible, I think these should actually be specified in the Talents and abilities section. From earlier in the bio, we know that one is a Baragwinian trade dialect. Add this there too.
 * 64) **Did some looking around, found a number of specific languages. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * There needs to be a better conclusion to the Demolition paragraph: "But even that was not enough to impress Jabba and to be placed in the Hutt's palace as a guard". What happened in the competition? Did he win? Presumably we don't know exactly, but we must know something. A mention of other opponents could also be appropriate.
 * 66) **Tweaked, a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Remind me of this one next time we're both in IRC. I have a few questions.
 * 68) * "He was reluctant to abandon Leia to Jabba's mercy, but assured him she would be fine with a quick whisper." There is obviously a word missing here. I was going to add in a "she" but it seems from the next sentence that Leia didn't know it was Lando so it cannot have been her that was reassuring him... --Eyrezer 04:41, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) **This objection was a pain, but after re-checking the radio drama and the novel, there appears to be a bit of a canon conflict. I've adjusted the text and tossed in a ref explaining everything. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***Sorry to cause you pain :P The change is acceptable.
 * 71) * There needs to be context between para 1 and 2 of the "The Battle of Endor" section, mentioning both the presence of the Star Destroyers, and the functional Death Star laser. I actually feel this and the Hutt guardsman section could do with a polish in terms of language and cohesiveness.
 * 72) **Took a stab at polishing both. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *** Page 139 of The New Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology has a quote that might give you another sentence or two to add to the Battle of Endor section, re Lando's interaction with Nein Nunb. --Eyrezer 11:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) *** "The Alliance knew that this fight would determine the fate of the war, as they would be engaging the Empire in a battle they had to win." This needs to be rewritten to be clearer as to what you mean. --Eyrezer 02:27, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *** You also have "upon reversion from hyperspace in two consecutive paragraphs (#2 and #3). The bit about knowing the Emperor would be there, as wellas believing that the laser was inoperational should be before the jamming part, which should also probably be joined with the trap part that comes later. --Eyrezer 02:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ***** I'll check this when I get home, but the discovery of the operational Death Star preceeded Lando's suggestion to close with the SDs, right? --Eyrezer 05:11, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ******Yes, and I thought the article had said that. Nevertheless, I tweaked it a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) * In "Winning a Bet", Drebble is introduced with no context explaining why he had it in for Lando (or even linked). This should be explained to set up the Mission to the Hunter's World section later on. This also ties in to my objection above about the Finding Argo section... Likewise, this section is poorly connected back to the previous incident with Lemo and Sanda. It is as if both sections were written by different people unaware of what the other had written&mdash;which may actually have been the case. --Eyrezer 11:43, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) **I think I fixed it up, but did you want me to take a look at the Finding Argo section also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:54, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * The last paragraph of "Work for the Alliance" is unclear and needs to be rewritten. Ie, all the stuff about Solo's passengers having codes but why they couldn't give it to Solo, who said passengers were, etc. --Eyrezer 05:03, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) **Rewritten. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) * Lando gets a page in Handbook 3: Dark Empire. I haven't read up to that section, but I suggest it should be looked over. There is also a pic of him and Wedge that could be useful.
 * 84) **Fixed up, but I don't think we need the pic at the moment. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * While it is in the source list, Escape from Cloud City doesn't seem to be reffed. There is some info in there that would be good for the Bts. --Eyrezer 12:12, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * Second battle of Endor section: "Concerned by the fact that he no longer was part of the Alliance's decision making process, he now hoped to be employed as a piloting teacher." This needs some explanation.
 * 88) **Explained. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * I removed a pic from the Second Battle fo Endor section that was misplaced. A new pic that is more appropriate to the text needs to be added.
 * 90) **Added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * Nagai-Tof war has two sentences in a row beginning with However. Actually this section feels too rushed. It could be expanded to provide more context and so be easier to follow. --Eyrezer 03:00, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) **Did some more expansion, but Lando doesn't do a whole lot on Zeltros besides party and get captured, until MSW 107. Let me know if you want more. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) * This is for an earlier section - you have consecutive refs for the Galaxywide NewsNets in SWAJ5 in the same paragraph. Is there meant to a different ref in between these? If not, they should be merged. --Eyrezer 03:09, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) **Got confused because it was off of two different parts of the NewsNet. Refs merged. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) * The formation of Lando's Commandos occurs at two separate places. Can the Tales story be set before the NEC incident? Also can the Tales story be expanded? It would also be appropriate to mention how the Trioculus affair concluded and hence the dissolution of SPIN. --Eyrezer 10:53, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) **Checked, moved, expanded, mentioned. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * The Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds mission to Kashyyyk needs to be expanded. --Eyrezer 04:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) **Buffed it some, but it's a pretty open-ended mission, if you've played it. There's a little cutscene with Lando talking at the beginning, then during some point in the battle, he shows up in the MF with Rogue Squadron. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * Nomad City section: "He was wounded in the attack" - who was?
 * 100) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) * "The mole-miners, packed with boarding teams, had been ordered into a large number of New Republic ships" Ordered into? This is pretty unclear. I presume you are meaning they attacked the NR ships by drilling into them...
 * 102) **Yes. Clarified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) * "Calrissian refused to believe that Solo and Skywalker would go on their mission without him, though, and coaxed the news from Solo that he might be able to arrange a deal for metals from Nkllon on New Cov if he stayed with him. Calrissian then reluctantly decided to join Solo and Skywalker." Can you clarify this bit?
 * 104) **Sure. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) * "aided Skywalker by translating for him" Do we know what language? If so, it could be added to the P&T section. (I'm not suggesting the language needs to be addded to this section itself.
 * 106) **It's Rodian. I added that to his Talents section when you made your initial language objection about the Baragwinian trade dialect. Did you want it in P&T also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) ***No that's fine. I checked the refs, but I must have been looking for the wrong source.
 * 108) * "In the race to reach the lost Dreadnaught fleet" This paragraph begins with there being a race, but it has not yet been established that the Empire is aware of the Katana fleet. Can you modify this a bit so that it flows better? Also, here, the mention of Mara Jade should build on her earlier mention on Myrkr.
 * 109) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) * I added a pic of Nomad City to the start of this section. I think another image from the comic adaption would be good, too. Perhaps one of lando in action on Myrkr. --Eyrezer 04:45, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) **Xicer9 added one. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) * "During the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine in 10 ABY," a better introduction to this section, please. --Eyrezer 08:42, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) **Rephrased.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:57, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) ***I expanded it more to what I had in mind. --Eyrezer 03:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 115) * This is a nasty one. I see from below that originally the Shadows of the Empire part was in the middle of the Marvel. You moved it because there seemed to be no discernible reason for it to be there. Well, there just may be one... in regard to Marvel 67, a poster on tfn points out "Interestingly enough, it just occurs to me that Shadows of the Empire must have already taken place before any of these Marvel stories because I realize Luke has a lightsaber and he constructed it in the start of that story." If Luke does construct a LS in SOTE, this seems a fair point. Can you check either way? It could do with a Bts explaining the placement if it gets moved back. --Eyrezer 09:33, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) **Negative. That part referenced below is the Evolutions segment, not actual SOTE. The SOTE segment is where it is because of NEC, which places the events of SOTE right after the Battle of the City of Bone in Marvel 69. If anything, I'll need to move the Trouble on Stenos section to before SOTE, but I want to check a few more sources before I do so. NEC also places the events of SOTE before the events of "Finding Argo and Vanis." As unfortunate as that may be for your TFN poster, we're going to have to assume that, in the same line as the Tydirium nonsense, Luke had more than one "new" lightsaber. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:57, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 117) ***So according to NEC, its:
 * 118) ****Star Wars 69: Death in the City of Bone (The Business on Bazarre section)
 * 119) ****Shadows of the Empire (Encounter with Black Sun)
 * 120) ****Star Wars 71: Return to Stenos (Finding Argo and Vanis)
 * 121) ****Leaving it unclear only whether Star Wars 70: The Stenax Shuffle (Trouble on Stenos) goes before or after SOTE? --Eyrezer 05:46, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 122) *****Yep, that's pretty much it. Let me do some more research and get back to you. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:23, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) ******Star Wars 70, 71 take place before SOTE, according to NEGTC. It's Marvel 73 that's the Argo and Vanis bit, which I'm saying is where the Marvels pick up after SOTE. The presence of Dani makes it sort of interesting, but I guess she was hanging out while Lando and Co. did SOTE&mdash;canon explicitly gives the timeline for the Stenos and Argo and Vanis stuff, and SOTE is between them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:44, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 124) *******Ok. Seeing as it is a combination of using NEGTC and NEC that determines exactly where SOTE falls in the Marvel line, please add a footnote to this effect. --Eyrezer 05:38, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) ********Ref'd in several places explaining the arrangement. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 126) * Empire Reborn section: "However, Skywalker was unwilling to leave the planet." Can you add why this was?
 * 127) **Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 23:30, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 128) * "Calrissian then informed the New Republic leaders about a cargo of large X-1 Viper war droids" This paragraph could do with some expansion and context. Firstly, what is the connection between this scene and the end of DEI? It doesn't seem to be immediately after Mon Cal, so a sentence about the overall war would place it in context. Secondly, does Calrissian suggest infiltrating the Vipers? Explain why they want to attack Byss, etc.
 * 129) **Significantly fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:39, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) * The next paragraph also needs more context than "later". Perhaps explain a bit about what the Eclipse II was. Also what the Galaxy Gun was. At the moment this paragraph is far too bare bones.
 * 131) **I think I've corrected the issues here. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:39, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 132) * Significant improvements to this section. The last thing I think it needs as overall context is the fact that the Emperor was finally defeated on the surface of Onderon. Similar to Thrawn's death, while not immediately related to Lando, it is a significant event that would give closure to this section. --Eyrezer 10:49, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 133) **Touched up with a contextifying sentence. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 05:20, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 134) * Kessel investment: wasn't Lando bored, which is why he helped Luke's search? --Eyrezer 00:40, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 135) **I clarified it&mdash;he wasn't so much bored as he was out of work. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:53, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) * The first paragraph of "Kessel investment" feels repetitive, ie, the stuff about searching for FS. --Eyrezer 06:33, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 137) **I've trimmed it up some, let me know if you want more culling. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:58, 14 August 2009 (UTC)-->
 * 138) * "Finding the Millennium Falcon in Doole's private fleet, the two ersatz "businessmen" confronted Doole, who fired at them and ran off the ship. In response, the Jedi and gambler took the ship and fled, though Calrissian was forced to leave the Lady Luck on Kessel." When I read this, I had no sense of where the second part of the first sentence occurs. Can you reword it to clarify?
 * 139) * I actually rewrote part of this section, re Han Solo's escape. You should probably check it to see if you prefer my way.
 * 140) * Durron is later introduced as a Dark Jedi with no context. Please add some.
 * 141) * I also think there must be a better pic for this section other than the second black-and-white one of Lando. Are there any of the various battles that occurred in this section? --Eyrezer 04:33, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 142) **All of the previous four are tweaked up, but I haven't found any pictures of battles where Lando was actually at on the wiki. Put in one of the blob races instead. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:27, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 143) * Next section: Run-in with the Imperial Remnant. Firstly, do we know why Lando still has an interest in Cloud City at this point?
 * 144) **Sort of. The NRI reports are vague, but I've tried to make the connection clearer. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 145) *Can you explain how they found out where Leia was?
 * 146) **Done, and given all of Planet of Twilight a bit of a buff as well. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 147) ***Much better, but Chewie appears out of nowhere at the moment. --Eyrezer 23:58, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) * It also seems to be missing a mention of Lando convincing Nien Nunb to return to Vandelheim for the 10 year anniversary. This info can be found both here and here. Somewhat interestingly, this seems to be the only event we know Lando was involved in during 14 ABY. --Eyrezer 04:59, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 149) **Info added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) *It currently lacks info from Agents of Deception. The story outline can be found here and while suitably vague, should be added in. There are some clues to placement too. --Eyrezer 06:34, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 151) **Interesting. I'll add this, but I'm having some trouble on the dating. Obviously, it's during the GCW, but while it describes Calrissian as the newly appointed Baron Administrator and it's pre-4 ABY due to Jabba's existence, I'm having a hard time reconciling the fact that he wasn't a Rebel. Am I correct in thinking this should go after "Revenge attempts"? Just seems weird. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:55, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 152) ***It is a bit of a mess, and I'd be tempted to throw some tags around it, too. I don't see anything that requires Jabba to be in it though. That could be any other Hutt. I've asked Mauser for a clarification if there is anything else related to a plot in the game. At the moment, at the end of Revenge attempts seems about the right place to me too. By the way, have we ever heard about Lando's original fallout with Nandreeson? As a positive addition to continuity, this could be it - although of course not canonised as such here. --Eyrezer 01:33, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 153) Toprawa:
 * 154) *I realize I promised you the ESB RD script notes, but until that time, here's the objection for their missing info.
 * 155) *Also, you're missing info from the ROTJ radio drama/script.
 * 156) **Can you be a little more specific about which parts? I gave it a listen when Hydro made his initial ESB objection, and while I don't have the script, I did add info from the radio drama. Was there something in particular you were looking for? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:32, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 157) ***Sure. I'm in the process of listening to it now for my article purposes, so I might add to this, but two things that strike me as pertinent are the scene in which he first approaches Leia in Jabba's palace to reveal himself, meaning that not everyone in the Save Han group knew how he had gotten in and where he was; and secondly the scene in which they first leave Tatooine, they're forced escape past an Imperial blockade. Lando just sits in the Falcon ' s cockpit and doesn't do anything but talk, but a mention would be appropriate, I feel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:35, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 158) ***While en route to the Rebel fleet from Tatooine, Lando and the group help sooth Threepio's hurt feelings about not being privy to the specifics of the rescue Han plan. They talk about Corellian Overdrive, and Lando goes on to fix Threepio's damaged photoreceptor. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 159) ***There's actually a lot more to that scene. Han and Lando talk about how the Falcon was in Lando's possession during Han's carbonite days, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 160) ****ROTJ radio drama has been located, listened to, and the article updated appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 161) *Including "TCG: Return of the Jedi" and "The Empire Strikes Back (TCG)" in the Source list just isn't good enough, I'm afraid. Moreover, I see only a single CCG card in that entire Source list, which tells me you haven't really scoured these cards for new information. You'd be surprised to find some new tidbits here and there. I realize there are probably dozens upon dozens of cards with Lando info on them, but if you're going to include one, you need to include them all. Yes, I know it sucks, and it's hard work, but this is an FA. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:20, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 162) **"if you're going to include one, you need to include them all." Does this mean I just get away with removing that one? :-P ^_^ (lol, jk). No, in all seriousness, you're absolutely right. I've done all the CCG cards, and I'll let you know when I get the radio stuff and TCG ones added in. I'm going to be kind of busy until the end of the week due to RL though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:40, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 163) ***5 and a half dozen TCG and CCG cards added to source list? Is that better? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:01, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 164) QuiGon:
 * 165) * No info from The Gambler's Quest.
 * 166) **I've added a short paragraph myself based on what was written in the plot summary for this comic. I think it's sufficient. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 15:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 167) * Some things are missing in the appearances list. Mighty Chronicles adaptations, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Mobile, Super Star Wars series, etc. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...Quigonheadshot.jpg 17:54, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 168) **Took care of it myself per Ataru's request. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 16:43, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 169) * More missing info from N.R.I. Reports. Small tidbits about Lando requesting aid from the Senate. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 19:30, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 170) **Added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 171) * Are you sure that the "Black Sun coup" section should go between the Marvel stories? It would make much more sense to place it after the Nagai-Tof war. All Marvel stories are linked to each other pretty tight and there is no gap in the plot for SotE: Evolution to take place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 20:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 172) **After some research, I've seen no reason to leave the layout as is, and the Black Sun coup is now placed after the Marvel sections. Seems to make more sense that way. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 173) * "The Mindharp of Sharu" section. Context on Jabba.
 * 174) * Also, context needed on Darth Vader and Luke upon first mentions in the "Trap at Cloud City"" section.
 * 175) * Explain what was so important in Luke that Vader set a trap for him.
 * 176) * Same section."Especially after the disappearance of C-3PO" Provide some context on what really happened to him. Then mention somewhere in this section that 3PO was recovered, because as it is now, it left me under the impression that the droid was still missing when Lando and the others left Bespin.
 * 177) * Same section again. "in pursuit of the Millennium Falcon and its Rebel crew". Mention that it was Han who has joined the Rebels, because it can be interpreted as if some unknown Rebels have acquired the ship.
 * 178) * Mention that Lando flirted with Leia and/or add it to the relationships.
 * 179) **All of QuiGon's objections up through this have been fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 180) * The "Skywalker's affliction" section. Context on Domina Tagge.
 * 181) * Same section. "which Darth Vader had falsely accused Luke of being responsible for". Rephrase. Yes, Vader did falsely accuse Luke the first time, but then Skywalker killed Tagge for real in issue 37, even if he did it by accident.
 * 182) * "Finding Argo and Vanis" section. Last sentence: "but were apparently unable to find anything." Unsourced.
 * 183) * Same section. Context on the second Death Star.
 * 184) * Linking problems. Jabba is linked in both "The Mindharp of Sharu" and "Mission to Blimph 3" sections, while the second Death Star is not linked at all upon the first mention in "Finding Argo and Vanis", but is instead linked in "The Battle of Endor"; and the link is that of the Death Star in general instead of Death Star II. Check other links.
 * 185) * "Near-death experience on Godo". Context on Bey.
 * 186) * Mention that Lumiya changed sides and allied herself with Tofs. And that she was shot on Saijo.
 * 187) **All of these should be fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 188) * Stay tuned. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 21:01, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 189) * "Nomad City". Context on Ecclessis Figg, ysalamiri. Also, why Thrawn needed the ysalamiri?
 * 190) * "Karrde hid the two former generals" Next sentence:"As such, the two former generals". Repetitive, rephrase.
 * 191) * "Karrde knew that was where Skywalker, who had escaped from his custody, and his pursuer, a woman named Mara Jade, would flee to, and that the Empire would find them and realize that Karrde had not turned over Skywalker to them." Maybe it's just me, but this sentence seems weird.
 * 192) **I've finally understood what this sentence says and I think I had some difficulty with it because of the missing "that". I've added it myself.
 * 193) * "After trekking through kilometers of forest, fending off predators, the party received when some Noghri commandos". Received what?
 * 194) **Everything from "Nomad City" down to here has been fixed. Although, Figg was already contextified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 195) ***I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any context. You didn't say who Figg was. I've added it myself, just to show you what I wanted in the first place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:45, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 196) ****I figured that saying that Figg was the one who first built Cloud City was sufficient context, but I have no problems with your change. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 197) * "Palpatine reborn": "Unbeknownst to Calrissian, Skywalker had fallen to the dark side of the Force, and was in fact commanding the Imperial fleet". Mention that prior to that, he gave the codes to Artoo.
 * 198) * Same section. Mention that Skywalker was redeemed after all.
 * 199) **I think Chack fixed these a couple days ago when he reworked that section. :-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:37, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 200) * "Run-in with the Imperial Remnant" Context on Reelo Baruk.
 * 201) * After the events of Jedi Outcast that happened in 12 ABY you mention the events of Planet of Twilight as happening the same year, yet the latter is placed here on Wook in 13 ABY. I don't know if it is really a mistake, because I haven't read the book.
 * 202) * "Tag and Bink". Context on Tag.
 * 203) **Last three fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:52, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 204) *I guess that's all. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:57, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 205) * One more thing. Is there nothing to add from Ord Vaxal: Prison Planet of the Empire? QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 14:19, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 206) **According to Jaymach via IRC, he's only pictured in it. I've tagged the source appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 207) From Ataru
 * 208) **I'm aware that there are redlink problems and image arrangements. I will fix those once Eyre's and Hydro's objections regarding content are satisfied. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:47, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 209) Jinzler
 * 210) * The Star Wars Annual 2009 reveals that Lando made a few message recordings that were stored in R2-D2. He made one aboard the Falcon, telling the events of ESB up to his departure from Bespin. He recorded another two messages while on Endor, about the battle there --Jinzler 12:39, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 211) **All fixed, thanks for the info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:31, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 212) You need way more context for the events surrounding the Second Galactic Civil War.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:15, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 213) *I've added more context to it. Let me know if that's good enough, or if you want more. Since Calrissian was only peripherally involved for the most part, I didn't want to go too deep into it. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 214) **No, that's exactly the kind of context I was looking for. I'm striking the objection, although I will sucggest a rewording of "Calrissian remained with his expecting wife through the remainder of the war, which resulted in the death of Jacen Solo at the hands of the Jedi Order." just because it sounds a little like Lando being with his wife resulted in Jacen's death. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:49, 28 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not a formal objection, but there's space for a lot more quotes in the article. Yrfeloran 04:13, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Who portrayed Lando in Dark Forces: Soldier for the Empire audio drama? Mauser 13:48, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm voting for it!!!!!!!!
 * Will give a full Outcast update as soon as I can. I'll busy through the weekend and Monday, though, but next week, I hope to get that and some more of the sourcebooks done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:06, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I apologize for the confusion, but when I voted months ago it wasn't because I had read it; it was just because I wanted to see it featured. If I do review it, I'll vote, but not for now.  CC7567  (talk) 18:16, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:05, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope it passes, nomed for FA per suggestion.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Yup, it's good enough for me.--Kreivi Wolter 08:22, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  LordDeathRay  (My Sith Holocron)  01:25, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Bout time this thing got moving, methinks
 * 2) * Please clarify in the intro what you mean by "known Republic space." It's not very clear.
 * 3) **I think it's good, try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Please check your linking throughout the intro. It seems that there's underlinking as far as events. Also, it appears that Malak's own flagship requires an article stub; please link and create one.
 * 5) **Malak's flagship is complete, I'll check for more links as the review goes on&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Watch underlinking throughout the article article. A lot of articles weren't linked. Furthermore, throughout the body, please check underlinking both in general and specifically for events.
 * 7) **Same as above.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Since there's an ongoing objection for this below, I'll strike these.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please try to reword the third paragraph in "Recruiting for the Revanchists." There's a lack of flow with "His reaction was this," "he did that," and it's rather play-by-play.
 * 10) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Please try to shorten it a bit more. Also, the verb tense in "Alek reminded Carrick that the threat of the Sith was over decades ago" isn't working.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:55, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Please shorten the fourth paragraph or rewrite it so that it's more related to Malak.
 * 14) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:37, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Still remains. Please shorten it more unless you believe that every single detail currently there is absolutely necessary to the reader's understanding of Malak.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ****I think I shortened it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "When Demagol came to take her, he volunteered himself to be studied in her place and insisted that he had some abilities that Demagol had yet to discover." I'm not sure who the indirect pronouns are referring to. This is also something to check for when you go through the article.
 * 18) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Please cut down on your dash usage. There are many places where commas would suffice.
 * 20) **OK, have to admit, I am a little emdash happy. Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I'm striking this for now, but I will be checking it in following reviews.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * I would recommend spacing images better; particularly, the two in the short "Against the Jedi Covenant" don't balance with the previous, lengthy section that contains only one.
 * 23) **Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "When Adasca asked Alek if he should entrust the exogorths to the Jedi, Alek stated that it was not a bad idea, which shocked Jarael. He then told Jarael that the Revanchists saw heartache and chaos in the years to come, stating that as the reason why Revan sent him to the meeting." I have no idea who you refer to when you're saying "he" and "him".
 * 25) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "He then deactivated the weapon, allowing the discussion to continue, and also expressed disbelief that Mandalore would offer Adasca a powerful position in the Mandalorian war effort in exchange for the device controlling the exogorths, as well as Admiral Karath for offering Republic territory for the device." Same as above. Also, the "as well as" does not make sense.
 * 27) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * "Alek was shocked that Draay would deny them passage just to get to Carrick, but the arrival of the Moomo Williwaw, the starship of the Ithorian bounty hunters Dob and Del Moomo, intervened." The "intervened" does not make sense, especially since it's used as a verb in relation to "arrival".
 * 29) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***"Arrival...crashed into the Legacy": this still does not make sense; "arrival" is not a subject that can crash or even move, for that matter.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ****Ok, try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:51, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Overall, please check for awkward wording and choppiness throughout the article.
 * 33) **Will do.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *I'll continue the review starting with "Masks" later.  CC7567  (talk) 01:33, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Going back and scrutinizing before continuing
 * 36) *Please check for underlinking throughout the article, specifically for events. I'm trying to stress its importance by reiterating this objection because it appears to be a major chunk missing from the article, and this article isn't going to pass in its current state. Was the defeat of the Jedi Covenant linked to a specific event? Did Malak's defeat of Revan occur during a specific event as well? I'm quite sure that "Malak and Revan fought each other" and "Darth Bandon, whom Revan and his companions had previously killed" should be linked as well, and all of that's only in the intro. This is a serious lack of information, so please go through the article again and check for this.
 * 37) **I will. I linked Vindication to the Covenant's defeat, the duel between Revan and Malak on board Leviathan is already linked in the previous sentence, under "intercepted". There is no article for the duel between Revan and Bandon.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***If the duel between Revan and Bandon does not have an article, it should. From what I can see, there isn't a reason not to create the article unless you can enlighten me with one.  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****I don't know if I could, since it hasn't been canonically established where Revan fought Bandon, and pics really can't be included, since I can't hide Revan's appearance.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:52, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) *****Pictures aren't required to make an article. You can simply create a stub for it; as long as it's linked and has an article (not necessarily a complete one), then it should be fine.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ******OK, then, before I create the article, I want to ask about something. Does Wookieepedia presume that Revan searched for the Star Maps in this order: Tatooine-Kashyyyk-Manaan-Korriban? Because if so, then I can list that Nord was defeated on Tatooine, Bandon was defeated on Manaan, and I could essentially name said duel between Bandon and Revan "Duel on Hrakert Station". Plus, I could add the dialogue options which has Bandon explaining to Revan how he got down to the station, in Bandon's article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *******Article created.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:47, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Is there a particular reason why throughout the article, "Alek" is being used instead of "Squinquargesimus"? I'm not familiar with KotOR that much, but please state your reasoning as to why his last name isn't being used for formality.
 * 44) **One of the Agricorps told me in the GA process for this article that I could use Alek, I actually was going to bring this up. If you feel it's needed, I'll change it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***Right now, I'm not asking you to change it, but I'm asking why it's this way&mdash;as in, I'm asking for the reasoning behind this besides the fact that an AC told you that it was okay. Last names are used for formality, and I cannot see why this should be an exception.  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Changed all references to "Squinquargesimus".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****I'd still like to know why it was "Alek" in the first place, if there was a reason.  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) *****I think it was because, Alek was his real name, Squinquargesimus was just an add-on, Alek mentions this in issue 31.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) ******Ugh. Since I don't know enough information, I'm going to trust your judgment to make a decision on this; if Alek is his real name, then technically that should be used throughout the article, but it depends on the circumstances of ""Squinquargesimus". It would be good if you could explain yourself a little better and clarify this before making a decision.  CC7567  (talk) 08:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * "the two twisted the allegiance of the Revanchists and Republic forces": I can't tell if you mean "Revanchist and Republic forces" or "the Revanchists and the Republic forces", but please reword for clarity.
 * 51) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Convinced that his former Master had died, Malak usurped his mantle": so suddenly Revan is Malak's former Master when just one sentence ago, he was his Master? The third paragraph of the intro as well has the same problem. Also, I can't tell who you're referring to when you say "his mantle".
 * 53) **Try it now.-Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * "It would not be long until the new Dark Lord of the Sith was proven wrong about his former Master's death." It's grammatically correct, but it's slightly awkward phrasing with the "proven wrong". Perhaps "proven wrong about his beliefs on his former Master's death"?
 * 55) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * "and an amnesiac Revan, whose identity as the Dark Lord": the Dark Lord, or a Dark Lord? I'm not entirely familiar about how Revan and Malak ruled, so I'm leaving you to check if this is correct.
 * 57) **It's correct, Revan was the only Dark Lord of the Sith in the Sith Empire, 'til Malak betrayed him, that is.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * "After Malak revealed to his former Master that he was indeed the former Dark Lord": it sounds like Malak revealed that he himself was the "former Dark Lord" to Revan. Please reword for clarity.
 * 59) **Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:18, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***Still remains. I'm asking you to reword the "he" in "After Malak revealed to Revan that he was indeed the former Dark Lord".  CC7567  (talk) 18:39, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ****Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:56, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "People from Quelii did not have surnames, only names of their home villages; after he escaped Quelli when the Mandalorians devastated the world, the name of his home village was used as his surname on the immigration records." I would suggest rewording this because it appears to be just a simple side fact, and right now the chronology is rather murky and undefined in relation to his life at the village.
 * 63) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * "Alek's desire to learn more": I can't tell if you mean "learn more than Revan" or "learn more than what he already knew", as in "furthering his own knowledge". Please reword for clarity.
 * 65) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * "the Jedi Council urged patience and strictly forbade action, feeling that the true threat had not yet emerged": urged patience for who? Strictly forbade action from what? What was this threat that was not the "true threat"? All of this is unspecific, so please clarify. If the source didn't directly state it, try to word around it so that there aren't empty spaces in the sentence like this.
 * 67) **Try it now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) *I'm just going to go ahead here and post all the events that sound like they deserve to be linked so that you don't miss anything. From these, please link what you can and clarify what cannot be linked and why.
 * 69) **"by participating in a scouting mission along the Outer Rim, just prior to the Mandalorian invasion of the Republic"
 * 70) ***I'll see if I can get some info, don't think there's enough, though.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) **I would particularly check the second paragraph of "Recruiting for the Revanchists" and see if there's anything that has enough info to deserve an event article.
 * 72) ** "Alek was captured in an ambush before the fourth battle of Suurja by the Mandalorians": unless it took place during the fourth battle, the ambush requires its own article if there's enough info.
 * 73) ***I don't think there's enough info for this. It appeared in a panel in issue 6, and was mentioned in issue 9.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) ****There would have to be much less info for this not to deserve an article. Please explain your reasoning.  CC7567  (talk) 03:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *****Article created: Ambush on Suurja.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:53, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * "the Jedi were supposed to defend against the Sith": defend what? Please check this.
 * 77) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) * "Alek laughed and said that the Mandalorians could have their boots at the Masters' throats, but to get them to notice the Mandalorians, they would have to paint their heads and babble about the dark side." Could you shorten this? It doesn't seem to be anything more than a side joke that doesn't serve a very big purpose.
 * 79) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) * "Sometime before Alek and the Revanchists came to Taris": please check your tense throughout this entire paragraph. The paragraph's placement in the article (and its tense as well) suggests that it took place after Alek conferred with Carrick, but its content suggests otherwise, and I have no idea which one is correct. Please clarify.
 * 81) **I think I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) * "Demagol wanted to waste no time in testing Jarael due to her unusual Arkanian features": this is rather awkward wording, especially with the use of "wanted" in the sentence, which suggests that there was someone that had authority over Demagol and prevented him from testing Jarael. Please reword it.
 * 83) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * "it was revealed that the Demagol that had emerged was actually Carrick": "the Demagol" in particular is unclear. Please reword this, perhaps to "it was revealed that Carrick was posing as Demagol" or something.
 * 85) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) * "Due to Demagol's mad experiments, doctors informed Alek that his hair would not grow back completely." With Demagol in the sentence, the "his hair" can refer to either him or Alek. Please clarify.
 * 87) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:49, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) *I'll have to continue this with "Adasca's plot and return to Taris". I know that I said I was going to continue with "Masks", but I was admittedly skimming in the previous review. I'll pick up the review again soon.  CC7567  (talk) 21:10, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * Until I start "Masks": "Carrick, who had left Taris with a Jedi Knight and the Shadow Celeste Morne": "a Jedi Knight"? Who? Please clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 03:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:38, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) *"They met with the two Jedi Knights and their fellow Revanchists, and told them abandon their efforts and disperse permanently, feeling that the Mandalorians were not a threat, and that nothing warranted the Jedi's aid." It's initially unclear who "they" refers to; I would feel better if you clarified it. Also, this sentence is a slight run-on and rather choppy.
 * 92) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) *"a Mandalorian mask under his feet": under whose feet? If you mean Malak's, I would recommend saying that "he realized that he was standing on a mask" or "noticed a mask that was under his feet".
 * 94) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) *"Revan decided to take up her cause and donned her mask, vowing not to remove it until there was justice, until the Mandalorians were defeated once and for all": what exactly was her cause? Also, the last part of the sentence is choppy, and unless you're trying to go for an extremely "dramatic effect", please reword one of the uses of "until".
 * 96) **Taken care of, for the most part. I don't see anything wrong with trying to be a little dramatic. But if it's an issue, I'll try rewording the "untils".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) *"A few months after the events of Vindication, Zayne Carrick, now a free man, was participating in the Tandem Open&mdash;a swoop-dueling event organized on Jervo's World, a large network of swoop-dueling arenas, above the world of Pantolomin." Unless you're going to use this as "Carrick was&hellip;when" or a similar phrase, you're using the wrong tense here. Please fix this, as I'm not sure what you mean.
 * 98) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) *If you can shorten the first paragraph of "Confrontation with Rohlan Dyre" slightly, it would ease the flow; it's slightly rambing right now.
 * 100) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) *There's a lot of play-by-play in the second paragraph of the same section. Please vary all the "Malak said this," "Malak said that."
 * 102) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) *"They pulled Malak off Dyre, which calmed him down." Calmed who down?
 * 104) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) *To a certain point, there's also some p-b-p and choppiness in the last paragraph of "Confrontation". Please do some rephrasing.
 * 106) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) *As a note: if image captions are not complete sentences, then they theoretically should not have periods, which is why I've removed the ones you've replaced. Also, please do not use the term "unidentified" in an OOU article. I'll continue with "The final battles" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 08:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 108) *OK.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Please make sure that the placement of the images match what the article is talking about. I don't have the means to check this myself right now, but I would suggest that you do this.  CC7567  (talk) 23:16, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Information on Malak from the upcoming Demon arc will be added when it comes out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 00:14, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Tott Doneeta

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 10:26, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:11, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Alright, picked up on a few things.
 * 2) * "he was found by Jedi Master Arca Jeth and trained up as a Knight of the Old Republic." – "Trained up" is rather colloquial; either remove it or change it to something for clarification.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "In 4,000 BBY, Doneeta and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean "and the Qel-Droma brothers", or what?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "causing Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma, to subsequently infiltrate their ranks in an attempt to destroy the Krath from within" – I don’t believe Ulic is Doneeta's brother, no? If this is some sort of mutual agreement between the pair, this needs to be clarified; for someone like me who’s unfamiliar with this time period, it’s not clear at all.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Introduction – context on a "heat storm", and what him losing entailed for himself and his clan.
 * 9) **Addressed, though it didn't really mean much to the clan. Though not necessary, I can add a tad bit more if you still think it's required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * In the section entitled "Jedi Training", clarification regarding the slave ship; were they prisoners, or was this a ship they’d hijacked or what?
 * 11) **Doesn't say.
 * 12) * In the section entitled "War on Onderon": "Doneeta held position with the Beast Riders in their citadel for several day" – Somewhat colloquial, perhaps it could be reworded to something like "Doneeta and the Beast Riders held the citadel for several days"?
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Same section, "leaving the rescue of Master Jeth as the next order of business." – Order of business too is somewhat colloquial – I’d like to see that changed, please.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * In the section entitled "Beginnings of a crusade": "the peace for which they so desperately fought" – desperately’s POV.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Same section: "Doneeta revealed his findings at the same moment when Master Jeth" – Same moment as when, perhaps?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Same section: "and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Reword.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Same section: "When Exar Kun, a Knight claiming affiliation with the "School of Jedi Archaeology", did arrive," – More context on Exar Kun. A Jedi Knight, or what?
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * In the section entitled "Trouble on Deneba": - "the Jedi were also brought up short" – Another colloquial phrase.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Same section: "Doneeta held position with several of his companions," – colloquial again. "Held position" is the specific.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) *So far, I’ve got only down to the "Efforts redoubled" section. I’ll continue my review later today. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  10:04, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Keep'em comin. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) Second look.
 * 31) * In the section entitled "Efforts redoubled": "The suggestion then arose amongst the Jedi that they should instead fly their trustworthy S-100 Stinger fighters" - Trustworthy's rather POVish. Perhaps you could have "which had been proven to be reliable before" or something instead?
 * 32) **Addressed.
 * 33) * Same section: "easily dispatching" - easily's POV. Quickly or something, perhaps?
 * 34) **Addressed.
 * 35) * "and fended off the Krath's forces" - Shouldn't that be Krath? I would have corrected it, but I don't know enough of the subject matter to be sure.
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * Same section: "Unbeknownst to Doneeta and the rest of the Jedi, fallen Jedi Exar Kun, whom they had previously encountered on Onderon, was also present in Cinnagar, with his own intentions of destroying the Krath as well, for he saw them as an obstacle to his own progression in dark side power." - Run on.
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) * In the section entitled "Final offensive": "As the Twi'lek worked to preserve all that he could, both Ulic Qel-Droma and and Exar Kun arrived on Ossus, and Doneeta was with Cay when Ulic touched down nearby." - Reword.
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) * Same section: "Exar Kun tapped into Sith lore more arcane than even he understood and gathered all his Massassi slaves in his temple." - Context on Masassi.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) * "However, the combined Force power of nearly all the Jedi was too much for Kun to combat, and while his spirit was freed by Sith arts, it was indeed trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi, forever within the walls of his temple." - Run on.
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) * In the section entitled "Homecoming": "Tott Doneeta had relocated to his own homeworld to help his Twi'lek brethren seek shelter from incineration by a feared Ryloth heat storm." - Context on heat storm in bio.
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) * "did the unthinkable" - POV.
 * 48) **Addressed.
 * 49) * "the mischievous teen" - Mischievous is POV. Try misbehaving or something.
 * 50) **Addressed.
 * 51) * In the section entitled "Journey to Ryloth", "Towards the convocation's end, Tott Doneeta encountered another of his old friends, the Cathar Jedi Knight Sylvar, who still harbored much hatred for Ulic Qel-Droma, whom she considered a criminal that had escaped atonement for the crimes he committed during the Sith War." is a big run on.
 * 52) **Addressed.
 * 53) * In the section entitled "Lost cause", "The Twi'lek felt that Sylvar, who sulked throughout the entire event, should have shown more gratitude for the pride the Cathar had taken in her, but to no avail; all she wanted was isolation, and pageants, she felt, were a far cry from her desired solitude." is a long run on.
 * 54) **Addressed.
 * 55) * "Undaunted by the Cathar Jedi's impressive speed" - Impressive is POV.
 * 56) **Addressed.
 * 57) * Image caption in the P&T reads: "Tott Doneeta, along with his Jedi Master and brothers, in celebration." - I don't like this use of brother in a non-biological sense.
 * 58) **Addressed.
 * 59) * "revenge like his Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma" same point.
 * 60) **Addressed.
 * 61) * "Upon realization of Qel-Droma's corruption, the Twi’lek initially believed that his friend could be rescued and redeemed, but after he accepted the fact that Qel-Droma had willingly succumbed to the wiles of the Krath, Doneeta’s duty as a Jedi superseded his devotion to his friend, for whom he still cared deeply" Run on.
 * 62) **Addressed.
 * 63) * "who had never been convicted for his war crimes during his time as a Sith Lord." - Of his accused war crimes would work better, or something similar.
 * 64) **Addressed.
 * 65) * I don't like the "TOTJ" abbreviation in the BtS. I don't think it's much trouble to put it in full, which would be much preferable.
 * 66) *That's probably most of what there is; good work, Tommy. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  12:07, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) **Much fun sparring with youu, Tom. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:10, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Cylka:
 * 69) * You should add that he was born Tottdon'eeta in the article proper.
 * 70) **Addressed.
 * 71) * Doneeta was later present on the library world of Ossus when the Sith Brotherhood caused a supernova that threatened to devastate the planet, where he gathered many priceless Jedi artifacts and assisted in the evacuation proceedings. - The last part of this sentence reads somewhat awkwardly. You might want to shuffle it around a bit.
 * 72) **How's that?
 * 73) * The Sith were ultimately defeated by the Jedi, and Qel-Droma led Doneeta and his companions to Kun's stronghold on Yavin 4, where the Twi'lek joined the collective Jedi effort that resulted in Yavin 4's surface destruction and the defeat of Exar Kun. - Two things here: I would add in something about Ulic having renounced his Sith allegiance and make it more clear that the defeat of Kun caused the devastation of the planet. As it reads now, it seems as though the Jedi destroyed the surface intentionally just to defeat Kun.
 * 74) **Addressed, and addressed.
 * 75) * When he finally recognized where her hate was leading her, Doneeta left his old friend in the deserts of Cathar to contemplate whether she would give into the dark side—or not. - I would reword this sentence to make it a bit more clear that Sylvar's hate was leading her towards the dark side. Also being the last sentence of the intro, I feel that it should focus more on Doneeta than Sylvar.
 * 76) **Is this better?
 * 77) * Momentarily shaken by the queen's stifling power, Doneeta carried out his mission and remained on the Ranger with Galia - What was his mission? To protect Galia or was it something else?
 * 78) **Addressed.
 * 79) * The Twi'lek arrived on Thon's world of Ambria and was presented with the Vultan Jedi Oss Wilum. - Why was he presented with Wilum? Was this the aid that Thon was going to give or something else?
 * 80) **Addressed.
 * 81) * beyond their capabilities of fighting in their current state - What was their current state? It isn't all that clear as to how they were hampered.
 * 82) **Addressed.
 * 83) * he Jedi's guidance to the Onderonians helped bring about the peace for which they fought - Who was fighting for peace? The Jedi? If so, please make it a bit more clear.
 * 84) **Addressed.
 * 85) * During the gathering, Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma I'm not really sure that you should use the label Jedi brother in this instance since it may be a bit confusing in regards to Cay and Ulic.
 * 86) **That one slipped through the Darth Tom radar. Addressed.
 * 87) * Escape pods rained down to Deneba's surface, unleashing Krath-designed war droids that proceeded to fire upon the congregation, while the servant droids that were planetside and assisting with the convocation received a change in programming that ordered them to attack their Jedi owners, focusing on the most powerful of those present. - This sentence is a bit long.
 * 88) **Addressed.
 * 89) * Tott Doneeta, Ulic's brother Cay, and his lover, Nomi Sunrider, were dispatched - In this instance, it is a bit unclear as to whose lover Nomi is
 * 90) **Removed that bit. Addressed
 * 91) * The Sith Lord was then scheduled to stand trial, where he would most assuredly be condemned to death. - Is this stated in the source, or is it speculative? Please clarify.
 * 92) **Yes. The Supreme Chancellor said, And you will be sentenced to death. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed )`
 * OK, this is my review so far. I'll pick it up a bit later. So far, it is really interesting, Tommy. Cylka  -talk- 08:18, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Cylka, cont'd:
 * 2) *Jedi Master Thon believed that the Sith planned to once again attack the jump station in jest. - I believe that I know what you mean here, but could you state it a bit more clearly?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *Though successful in releasing his spirit, it was forever trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi within the walls of his temple. - This statement seems to say that the Jedi within the walls of the temple were responsible. Please clarify.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *In the heat storm article it states that Doneeta wanted to help the clan as they were wandering in search of a new home, that is why they were unprotected. I'm not sure if this is correct, but if it is, I think that it would give a bit more clarification as to why he relocated to help with what was a normal occurrence.
 * 7) **Should be good now.
 * 8) *Doneeta sensed the bitterness within her, and though she embraced it - Is this supposed to mean that she reined it in or reveled in it?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *After the liberation of Onderon, Doneeta was among the Jedi who received instruction in taming and flying the drexl war mounts of the Beast Riders. - This statement seems to contradict the earlier stated While his comrades spent time learning to fly the Beast Riders' warmounts, Doneeta's time revolved around cataloging items.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *That's the end, Tommy. It was an enjoyable read. Cylka  -talk- 07:03, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks, Cylka. I'm glad you enjoyed. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 14:25, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) From the scratchpad of Atarumaster88
 * 15) * This will need to be updated for Jedi Academy Training Manual. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:11, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **I believe this has been satisfied. Thanks for the review, Ataru. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 14:29, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Got one thing here, not done reading it though.
 * 18) * "Doneeta spent his youth as a slave before his family booked passage on a starship that acted as a front for the slaver ring to which they belonged." This confused me. Was his family part of the ring? And he was a slave until he booked passage on a slaver ring when Jeth saved him?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) *I'm up to "Rise of the Krath."  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:14, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mission to Skytop Station

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another TCW story arc lays siege to the FAN page! Technically the finale of CloneProject Droid Retrieval, but had to work backward without current possession of Wild Space.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:49, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Nice article, although a bit too play-by-play.  QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:54, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Since I was the one who worked on Denal, here's an objection related to him. How do we know that he is a sergeant? Nothing in the episode establishes that, and the episode guide calls him just Trooper Denal. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Oops. I just checked the sources, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe it was an established fact that he held any rank by the time of the episode.  CC7567  (talk) 19:00, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Small thing for ya:
 * 3) * "The mission featured the series' introduction of the Confederate listening post Skytop Station, previously introduced in The Clone Wars web comic Prelude." I'm assuming you're saying that it was introduced in the TV series, although this is a touch confusing. You state that it was introduced in the series, and then say that it had already been introduced. I get it, but it is a little bit confusing. If you change this around somehow, that'd be great. Good work, though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:39, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Addressed, and thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 20:40, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Senate hostage crisis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:21, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Also crisp 'n clean. (Hopefully.) Probably won't cause too much of a stir.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:25, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:07, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) See the comments below. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) * Hey CC, this is nitpicky but first line of the intro "raid" doesn’t really fit with the title, IMO.
 * 3) **Addressed; also, it gave me an excuse to give the intro a much-needed cleaning up.
 * 4) * The article, mainly "Capturing Skywalker", is a bit too pbp.
 * 5) **I went and rewrote the article; hopefully it's looking better.
 * 6) * "The raid also revealed Bane's ruthlessness, for in planting the laser-activated explosives, the bounty hunter revealed that he never took prisoners." Is this necessary?
 * 7) **Not really; nuked.
 * 8) *Good work. I realize that some of my objections are a bit unclear, and for that, I apologize. If you have any questions, catch me on IRC.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:04, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Nah, they're fine; thanks very much, Chack.  CC7567  (talk) 22:19, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Toprawa:
 * 11) * I understand your reasoning for presenting it this way, but "infantrys" if obviously grammatically incorrect. Are you sure this is how the plural form of the vessel is presented? "**4 Low Altitude Assault Transport/infantrys"
 * 12) * A little clearer context here, please. Atrium of what? The Senate chambers? "Upon arriving above the atrium" Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Both addressed; thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 22:54, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) From the bridge of the Anvil-class Star Destroyer:
 * 15) * "a revived Skywalker was able to cut a hole around the senators," You might want to state previously that Skywalker was unconscious. It kinda catches the reader off guard as it stands.
 * 16) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 00:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * More to come in a bit. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 23:19, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm going to support, but I want to let you know that this almost reads more like a summary of the episode, rather than a mission planned out by Cad Bane and his posse. When doing these kinds of articles, you'll need to tell the story more from the POV of the characters whose story it is you are telling; much of what I've read is from Anakin's POV, but I'm under the impression that the story is about what Cad Bane did & how he did it. If I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me. Aside from that, not a bad article. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * The reason it's this way is because yes, it's Bane's mission, but it's also from Skywalker's POV because he's one of the "victims," and in some cases it's the easiest perspective to use. However, I've tried to rewrite it a bit. (Also, I think you forgot to strike your objection above.)  CC7567  (talk) 22:23, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * No problem, just keep that in mind for the future. I had to learn the same thing way back when ;) —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 22:31, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Chase Piru

 * Nominated by: –Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 00:49, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first "anything" nomination here on Wookieepedia. Been wanting to do this for sometime but didn't get off my lazy butt til now. Enjoy!

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Good first effort; with further Inq reviews this will turn into a fine FA --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 09:42, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 22:40, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice work, Victor! I hope you write another. --Eyrezer 09:02, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The priest
 * 2) * You contextify Chase Piru very well in the biography, but not so well in the intro. "Piru was stationed in the Bogden Jedi Training Facility on Bogden 3 when Order 66 was issued, where she defended the Soaring Hawkbat Clan from the attacking clone troopers." is a bit of a sudden lurch. Try rephrasing to include the Clone Wars, the fact it is the end of the war and what Order 66 is.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * "Piru and K'Kruhk were disturbed" &mdash; what does being "disturbed" entail?
 * 5) **Rephrased.
 * 6) * "During their attack on the pirates, Piru used her prowess to eliminate most of the them. She was nearly killed again before K'Kruhk unleashed his uncontrolled rage on the pirates and killed them." This is vague and not very well worded. Piru aids K'Kruhk in the fight, which isn't made clear here. Also try not to end sentences with the same word.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * "Although K'Kruhk and Jeisel were supposed to join Cerean Jedi High Councilman Ki-Adi-Mundi to assist him in the Battle of Mygeeto, their predicament set them back." This is not really relevant to Piru, so if you want to retain it I'd like to hear a case for its inclusion. I'll just say that with a short article like this, drawing focus to the hero, in this case K'Kruhk, can detract from its focus on Piru considerably.
 * 9) **Agreed, so I removed that bit entirely.
 * 10) * "Shortly after their meals were consumed" &mdash; this reads funny and sounds like the clone troopers were the ones eating. Is this the case?
 * 11) **Addressed; it was actually the whole party who ate and finished at practically the same time.
 * 12) * Can you expand upon what the clone troopers do when they "revolted"; did they start shooting etc?
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) * "an unidentified vessel entered the moon" &mdash; I doubt it was hollow :P; please rephrase.
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) * "they could not know if danger lurked on the vessel." &mdash; this makes it sound as though danger is some sort of object or individual. I get what you mean, but it doesn't read right. Please try rephrasing this.
 * 17) **Done, I hope. Not so sure on it.
 * 18) * "However, the Whiphid's comlink was low on power and his communications were garbled, until it eventually lost all its power. Even though K'Kruhk had told Piru to lead the younglings away from the camp, she was unable to since she never received K'Kruhk's transmission." This needs to be rewritten from Piru's point of view. I.e., from what I understand, Piru is contacted, Piru cannot understand K'Kruhk's warning. If something happens that Piru doesn't know about, only leave it in unless it's of crucial importance to her.
 * 19) **Okay, done. I get what you mean. Done.
 * 20) * "Presumed dead, Piru was left behind since Lumbra claimed dead Jedi were worthless to the Empire." - I took out the superfluous "though", but I'd excise the "since Lumbra claimed dead Jedi were worthless to the Empire." The important detail is that Piru was left behind as she was presumed dead.
 * 21) ** Done.
 * 22) * "As the younglings were taken back to the ship, Kennan Taanzer attempted to reassure his fellow younglings that K'Kruhk would help them." &mdash; remove this please, it's not relevent to Piru.
 * 23) **Whoops, way irrelevant. Got ya.
 * 24) * "which confirmed the rumors they had intercepted over the HoloNet in the past two months." &mdash; this, on the other hand, seems pertinent enough to include the fact that K'Krukh and Piru were intercepting HoloNet transmissions and learned of a Jedi bounty earlier on the article. Please incorporate this information somewhere in the refuge section.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Again, chronology issues. You discuss Piru and K'Kruhk making a plan (which involves Piru guiding the arrows with the Force) but then don't reveal the plan until it's enacted. That's not very encyclopedaic; it's more like story-telling. If you incorporate the info about K'Kruhk instructing Piru to guide the arrows with the Force, which, although not present in the comic I imagine, can be inferred, that'd work better.
 * 27) **Sorry, got it down now.
 * 28) * You jump from the pirates realizing that the campfire is helping K'Kruhk to it suddenly being dark. I assume the pirates extinguish the campfire, so please include that info.
 * 29) **Done.
 * 30) * "he had overdid it in his attack and asked Piru if she could ever, along with the younglings, get over the way they saw the Jedi Master act that night, which he believed was not Jedi-like." &mdash; colloquial language, a bit of a run on. "Overdid it", "get over" are informal. Something like "come to terms with" or "forgive him for what he felt were actions unworthy of a Jedi." Anyway, split the sentence and re-word the dodgy bits.
 * 31) **Done.
 * 32) * "he would, after Lumbra's ship was repaired, take Piru" &mdahs; that's a peculiar placement for a clause. Watch out for these; it reads much better as ...that after Lumbra's ship had been repaired, he would take Piru"
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "but that he could never stay with them for the way they saw him and be a constant reminder of what occurred on the moon." The "and" doesn't work here, though I get what you're trying to do. How about "...he could no longer stay with them, as he felt that his presence would be a constant reminder of what had occurred on the moon."
 * 35) **Done.
 * 36) * "She also acknowledged, from K'Kruhk, that she understood" &mdash; this doesn't read right; please re-word it.
 * 37) **Indeed it didn't. Addressed.
 * 38) *Well Victor this is very good indeed for a first effort at FAN and the diligence with which you've followed the Manual of Style in terms of writing P&As, P&Ts and BtS sections is clear. What you need to watch out for is your focus; there are times what I felt I was reading K'Kruhk's biography, and it seems very apparent that Piru is a subsidiary character at times. Although context is fine, to preserve the focus on Piru it's best to avoid extensive references to the activities of other characters. The only other thing to watch out for is stuff like unclear antecedents, colloquial phrasing (words like "do her part", "get over the way" etc) and varying sentence structure and how you refer to the characters. As I said though, this is an excellent first effort so keep it up! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:28, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thanks for the review. I'll finish up the intro objections soon. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 00:35, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Intro addressed.–<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 00:46, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) Attack of the Clone
 * 42) * Please vary "refuge" in the intro and "delay" in the body. I suggest that you scan the article for any other unnecessary word redundancies.
 * 43) * The clone captain appears to need an article stub or at least a link.
 * 44) *That's all from me; excellent work for your first article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:01, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **Thanks for the review, and I can't take all the credit. Harrar did a very good cleanup job after me. ;) Anyway, objections addressed/link added. –<font color="#C11">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#A33">talk page ) 05:09, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Anyone? –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 03:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *It always takes a while Vic, but don't be disheartened! I won't be able to strike my objections until a week's time so no worries about rushing through them. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:28, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Indeed, almost a month. :P –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 00:35, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * You called Bogden 3 a planet. IIRC, we don't know if it is a planet or a moon, especially given that the planet Bogden is known to have 20 moons. Consequently, I've changed the wording to the less specific "world". --Eyrezer 09:02, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the fix. You're right, it probably is a moon, like Yavin IV (or 4). And thank you for your praise very much! –<font color="#C11">Victor  Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#A33">talk page ) 05:50, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Defender (Venator-class)

 * Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 04:14, 14 June 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Bringing it up from GA status.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 16:09, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) User:Capt.Scout(Officer report) 16:25, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 05:27, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
 * 1) Nominator has recently been blocked for a significantly extended period of time and has informed an administrator that he has quit the site. If CC wants to take over this article for the sake of his project, I would be satisfied, but if not, I vote to remove. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:16, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Until he returns, I'm comfortable with handing his nomination for him.  CC7567  (talk) 23:23, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Executor

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At the risk of turning this into a cliched acceptance speech blurb, the completion of this article is really a testament to the spirit of community Wookieepedia fosters here. If you're reading this, odds are good that you're one of the many people who helped me in some immeasurable way at some point throughout of putting this article together, be it helping me look up up sources, telling me what I was missing, helping me get images, or just letting me bounce ideas off you, and you know who you are. And I thank you.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total/INQCON 3)
Support > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Well done, Toprawa. A very interesting read. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:32, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) For what's probably the third time I'm telling you, an excellent read, Toprawa.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) There are no more nits I feel qualified to pick. And as the most Saxtonite-leaning member of the Administration or Inquisitorius, I can say with authority that this is exceptionally well balanced. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:01, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 20:23, 16 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) *Let me say that this article is extremely well-put together. The only issue I saw was the images near the bottom of the article don't follow the style of left to right.
 * 3) * "Kendal Ozzel" and "Firmus Piett" and other "Admiralty line of succession" images are aligned at the left. Though it looks good, and I think you were going for that look&mdash;would it be best if it does follow that left to right image placing?
 * 4) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **The left-right alternating thing is a guideline, not a rule, and where this article doesn't alternate, it's for good reason. Indeed, the admiralty section is done like that to give it the "profile" look, and there's nothing wrong with that. And the size of the BTS subsections doesn't afford alternating throughout. With all due respect, we're going to have a long time going if this nomination is peppered with mundane, nitpicky objections like this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***No problems Tope. Again, excellent job on the article :) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner, part one:
 * 2) * Intro: "...the Executor, at a monumental 19,000 meters long..." - something about the wording just doesn't seem right. Perhaps "in length" rather than "long" would work better.
 * 3) **I agree that "in length" sounds better, and I have changed the introduction wording to that. The reason I had it worded like that is because I didn't want it to read verbatim to what is repeated in the Description section below, which also used the "in length" wording. So, I have moved the "long" wording to the body.
 * 4) * "The Executor's admiralty immediately passed to Firmus Piett" - some context on Piett, please (what was he before becoming admiral; you know the drill).
 * 5) **Added "Captain" Firmus Piett.
 * 6) * Design: "including the dual geodesic KDY ISD-72x deflector shield generator domes—an enlarged version specially developed from those aboard Imperial-class Star Destroyers—which doubled as communications sensor globes, the officers' quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods for the Executor's upper-echelon commanders, and, most importantly, the bridge." - the comma usage seems to indicate that the shield generator domes doubled as sensors, officer quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods, and the bridge. While it's obvious that that is not the case, this needs to be fixed somehow, but I'm not sure what to do with it.
 * 7) **Yes, good catch. I've added semicolons and a minor wording tweak to try and clear that up. I can still do a little more if you feel it needs it.
 * 8) * Design origins: Perhaps you should list some of the incorrect stats that the Imperial Senate reported (the important one being length, maybe number of weapons, etc.).
 * 9) **The source that mentions that does not specify what the incorrectly-stated stats were. It's obviously meant to retcon the length size and weapons inconsistencies across sources, but again, nothing specific is mentioned.
 * 10) * Manufacturing contract: Lusankya should be linked to when discussing the sister ship.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Starkiller's base of operations: "Having learned of Vader's treachery of taking on an apprentice of his own, the Emperor, watching on via hologram, ordered the Dark Lord to kill the apprentice or be killed himself." - aside from the grammatical error (on via), wasn't Palpatine actually there? If I recall correctly, he enters through the bridge doors and then watched Vader throw Starkiller around before turning to leave.
 * 13) **You've caught one of the novel-vs.-video game inconsistencies. From the novel: "PROXY, standing slightly behind their dark Master, transformed by sinister stages into the Emperor, hooded and enshrouded in shadow." I adjusted the sentence a little bit to specify PROXY's involvement, and note that the sentence is also sourced to the novel. The video game seems to imply that the Emperor comes aboard himself, but I guess with a little retconning imagination, you can say that he transformed into PROXY off camera. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Part two coming soon. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:40, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) The Moffship, part two:
 * 16) * Imperial admirals' plot to sabotage the Executor project: The caption "Installation of the Executor's massive engines" is a bit misleading, given the fact that the Executor had had her engines installed for over three years prior to this time. Does the comic specifically depict/say that the engines were being installed at that point in time?
 * 17) **I absolutely understand what you're saying, but you've again hit on one of the major TFU inconsistencies. It has engines in TFU, and then two years later at Fondor it's shown without engines without any kind of explanation. I don't know how else to explain what is happening in that picture besides engines installation. FWIW, the BTS does discuss this as much as possible. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:40, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *And now I'm up to "Ambushing the Rebel Fleet." I'll continue with my review when I get a chance. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:24, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Moffship, part three:
 * 20) * Search for the Millennium Falcon: "They included the notorious Boba Fett, who had already been in the Hoth system and had boarded the Executor after responding to an Imperial hyperspace message issued even before the Executor's Hoth arrival that announced a crushing defeat of the Rebel headquarters and a large reward for hunting down Rebels fleeing from the battle" - this is a bit unwieldy, especially when compared to the brief descriptions of the other bounty hunters. Could you shorten it?
 * 21) **Shortened up. If the description is still a bit generous, let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Chasing Luke Skywalker at Kothlis: "...although Vader had received confirmation that the Millennium Falcon had indeed been the source of the Force signature, and therefore Skywalker." - I think something's missing here.
 * 23) **Reworded for clarity. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Endor aftermath: Specifically, the info from A Day in the Life. Heir to the Empire reports that the Executor disintegrated upon its collision with the Death Star - a fact mentioned in the Executor entry in the CSWE. So even though the Wister entry makes reference to the remains of the Executor, I still think that the story is non-canon - after all, doesn't the CSWE include entries for other characters who are known to be non-canon?
 * 25) **Not that I know of. I think you might be referring to CSWE making an effort to canonize the Tag & Bink stories as IU tall tales. It's completely contradictory, no doubt, but CSWE does mention the Executor on Endor from the story, and the character bios from the story are both definitely canon entries. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***I'll talk to you about this in IRC sometime today. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "At some point prior to Endor, the Executor and Death Squadron led an attack on an artificially-ringed planet, before an AT-AT assault force was dispatched to the planet's surface. An artist chose to use the Executor's orbital bombardment of the ringed planet to create an illustration of the scene, entitled Executor Executes." - any particular reason why you include this under "Endor aftermath?" It'd probably fit better at the end of "Destruction of Falleen's Fist."
 * 28) **The reason I have it included where it is is because I have tried categorizing this information with regard to the painting, not the battle. There's no indication of when the battle takes place, nor is there any indication of when the painting was released in the IU timeline. So, to be safe, I just put it the end. If you want, I can try rewriting that paragraph to reflect its focus on the painting, rather than the battle. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***If you could reword it to focus more on the painting, that would probably be better. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *And that concludes part three. Part four will start at "Commanders and crew." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) From the undisclosed location of Darth Culator:
 * 33) *These are more comments than objections, since I haven't had a chance to really read it in-depth yet, though having watched it take shape I'm fairly certain it will be an easy review.
 * 34) Before Imp objects to it, I'll be rescanning File:ExecutorKrake.jpg soon. (Soon as in actual time, not "soon" as in my usual definition.) Cylka did an admirable job cleaning up the Marvel scan, but it's not ALTAfied and it's the only Marvel image you have left that needs to be. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:30, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) I'm doing a link review now. I hope you don't mind if I remove any excess duplicates I may find. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 20:06, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *By all means. Thanks for the scan. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:18, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Only two link destinations were incorrect out of 987 unique links. Link duplication looks good at a glance, but I'm not going to check every one individually because there are 1,339 total links and I'm not COMPLETELY insane. This thing is a beast. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:38, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) You have a single ref tag for Fact File 4, but that one is the only Fact File where you list two different relevant articles in the source list (HOT2-HOT4, The Battle of Hoth; OZZ1-OZZ2, Admiral Ozzel). Since the Fact Files were designed to be broken up into a binder and then looked up by the three-letter code, this makes this one ref tag less useful for immediate reference. If the Fact Files were designed like regular magazines, I wouldn't even mention this, but their unique publication format means the ref should probably be split. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:05, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *Luckily for me, they're all from the Ozzel half. Specified/fixed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:00, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) Farlstendoiro has boarded the Executor. Get him out before he can object anything.
 * 41) * Intro: "at a monumental 19,000 meters in lenght". "Monumental" sounds POVish to me.
 * 42) **This is not what POV is. An example of a POV statement in this instance would be something like "The Executor, at 19,000 meters in length, was the greatest starship to ever grace the spacelanes." "Monumental" is a perfectly acceptable descriptive term for its importance and size. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Intro: "The Executor's admiralty passed to Captain Firmus Piett". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand the admiralty is a property of a fleet, a battle group or a navy, never of an individual ship &mdash; which would always be under the orders of her Captain, even if it is the flagship.
 * 44) **I'm afraid you might be thinking on real-world terms, while the Executor and Death Squadron's admiralty-captaincy relationship was rather fuzzy, even on IU terms. The individual in command of the Executor was both the admiral of the ship and of the squadron. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***If you say so... Then, we should change Admiral, btw.
 * 46) * Intro: "the Executor's relatively short life", again POV'ish.
 * 47) **That's not a POV statement at all. It's referenced in verbatim directly from Complete Locations. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * Description > Design: I know KDY stands for Kuat Drive Yards, but I'd like to avoid ambiguity. Maybe the first mention to Kuat Drive Yards could be "...and Kuat Drive Yards (KDY)".
 * 49) **I don't think this is really a problem. KDY equaling Kuat Drive Yards is really a no-brainer. Maybe if you had said you had issues making this connection yourself, I could see the need. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Description > Design: "and, most importantly, the bridge." "Most importantly", POV?
 * 51) **No, not POV. The bridge is the command center of any starship, and is easily the most important component of the Executor's bridge module. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * Description > Design: "the enormous primary hangar bay, which was large enough to dock an Imperial Star Destroyer[41] and thousands of starfighters;[5]". Two different sources provide information about the volume of the hangar bay. Are we sure that the hangar can dock both a Destroyer and thousands of fighters? Maybe source #41 says "hangar can dock destroyer", source #5 says "hanger can dock thousands of fighters", and nowhere says "hangar can dock destroyer + fighters". Do you see what I mean?
 * 53) **This is a technique we use when writing articles to "combine" sources of similar information. Unless they're competing, contradictory descriptions of one another, there's nothing wrong with combining this information. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * History > Design origins: There's a reference to the Imperator-class Star Destroyer. I think it should be a link (I understand it's simply the previous name of a known ship, but still).
 * 55) **I don't think that's necessary. We don't link to things twice in the same article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * History > Design origins: First mention to the Emperor Palpatine in the body of the article (not intro) is not a link.
 * 57) **I wouldn't necessarily make this a requirement, considering "Palpatine" is linked to upon first mention, but very well. I've pipelinked "Palpatine" into the first mention of "Emperor," but this is something I would recommend you changing yourself rather than taking the time to make an objection out of it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * History > Starkiller's base of operations: "liberated his his allies nevertheless". His his.
 * 59) **I have fixed this, but going along with my comments on the previous objection, please go in and fix these minor things yourself. It would have taken you less time and effort to change this than the time it took to make this objection. This is an instance of what those in the Inquisitorius jokingly term . Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * History > Imperial admirals' plot to sabotage the Executor project. As the opening quote talks about "prestige and power", could you use synonyms when saying in 3rd paragraph that the admirals "would suffer a great loss of power and prestige"?
 * 61) **Good catch. I remember this bugging me when I was writing this. Changed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * History > Maiden voyage and approach to Yavin 4: "No, Admiral…it is just beginning!" Suggestion: Add a space after … and maybe capitalize "it".
 * 63) **That would not be correct. This is exactly how it is presented in the comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * History > Probe droids launched and Circarpous V. "With the aid of the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal, Skywalker defeated Vader in a lightsaber duel despite being far from a match for Vader's might." Confusing, I suggest rewording. Skywalker was not a match for Vader's might without the influence of the Kaiburr, so the sentence should be ordered otherwise: "Skywalker dueled Vader with lightsaber", plus "Skywalker was not a match for Vader" but "as Skywalker was under the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal", "Skywalker defeated Vader".
 * 65) **I think your suggested rewording just makes the sentence unnecessarily convoluted and actually more confusing than it is now. But, I have reworded the sentence slightly to hopefully make it less confusing: "Skywalker defeated Vader in a lightsaber duel with the aid of the Force-magnifying influence of the Kaiburr crystal, despite being far from a match for Vader's might, and he escaped once again." Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * History > Battle of Hoth. Some context for Maximilian Veers, including the fact that he was among the crew of the Executor, his role on the ship, maybe the fact that he was under Ozzel's command and, if my memory serves right, that Veers tried to excuse Ozzel's mistake (ESB radio drama).
 * 67) **I have provided a bit more context for Veers, but that he's the general in charge of the Executor's forces is all the context that is ever given for him, and he was no more under Ozzel's command than he was under Vader's. Moreover, his being aboard the Executor is really a given, and I don't feel we need to restate the obvious. These types of specifics are covered in the article's "Commanders and crew" section. Also, you are mistaken about the ESB radio drama exchange. Vader challenges Veers to defy Ozzel's command for the latter's stupidity, but Veers refrains from badmouthing his superior officer. He does not apologize for Ozzel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * History > Search for the Millenium Falcon. Context of IG-88B including its relationship with the previously-mentioned IG-88A, particularly as it is referred later. I would also like a mention to the Gand Findsman Zuckuss, but only because I like Zuckuss; I'll understand if you don't want to.
 * 69) **Both of these are unnecessary for the purposes of this article in that they would just go off on unnecessary tangents of extraneous detail. Especially in the case of an article this size, the description should be kept as narrow to the point as possible. A link is provided for IG-88B should anyone wish to read into the character Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) * History > Search for the Millenium Falcon. "but Vader did not care. He had lost his patience with the Executor's crew, who had failed him time and time again" You have already said that; maybe you could use a shorter sentence?
 * 71) **Really, I'm not sure what the problem is here. There's nothing here that is grossly repeated, and it's not overly wordy. I think this is necessary description for the focus of Piett's dilemma in that paragraph. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) * History > Invasion of Mygeeto. 'Among the pilots transferring was the "Imperial Ace."' The quotation marks are confusing. Could it be reworded to 'the sentient known only as "Imperial Ace"' or 'code-named "Imperial Ace"'
 * 73) **That would probably be bordering on Original Research. I don't think we can definitively state that he was "only known as" the Imperial Ace or that that was his code name. Information on the character is extremely limited since he was only featured in a cell phone game, and I think it works fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * History > Return to Coruscant. Context for Kallic?
 * 75) **There is none, which is why I have not provided any. The quote at the top of that section is the only place Kallic is ever mentioned. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * History > Feigning pursuit of the Death Star plans. "Soon enough, the Feylya's Pride". One apostrophe missing.
 * 77) **Fixed, but I call once more upon the clause. You could have changed this yourself in less time than it took to make the objection. Please handle these things yourself next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) * History > Destruction of Falleen's Fist. "the two minutes expired with no word from Xizor". Please, add the reason: Did Xizor try to communicate and failed to broadcast his surrender? Or did he believe that Vader was bluffing? I think this is a very important point.
 * 79) **Description added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) * History > Protecting the Death Star construction site > "The Executor remained in Endor's orbit above the incomplete Death Star[105] while Vader departed in his shuttle to board the battlestation.[45][106] The Executor also regrouped with the Star Destroyers of Death Squadron at Endor.[7]" Reading this, I thought that the Executor dropped Vader on Endor and then left to re-join the Death Squadron somewhere else in the system. Suggested rewording: "Remained in Endor's orbit above the incomplete Death Star" + ", regrouping with the Star Destroyers of Death Squadron" + "while Vader departed yada yada".
 * 81) **I am sorry if you had trouble with this interpretation, but I think you're just reading into this far too much. The only thing going on at Endor is the Death Star, in Endor's orbit. Where else would they be regrouping? I don't think a change is needed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) * History > Battle of Endor. "The unorthodox Rebel tactic proved incredibly effective" Maybe you could add who in the Rebel fleet suggested the tactic?
 * 83) **Added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * History > Death of a giant and Imperial fallout. "Piett believed that the Rebels were doomed from the beginning, and once the Rebel Fleet first advanced upon the Executor and the Star Destroyers in response to the Death Star firing, he was already beaten" Don't get it. Piett mistakenly believed that?
 * 85) **No, it's stating a fact. By that point in the battle, Piett (meaning his forces too) was a beaten man. I've made a very minor wording tweak here. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) * History > Death of a giant and Imperial fallout. "All hands onboard died with the Executor." No evacuation attempt was made? Why? Or maybe it was made and failed? Why?
 * 87) **There is no canonical example of any kind of evacuation attempt being made, and so nothing of the sort is described in this article. Adding any kind of description like that would be fanon. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * History > Endor aftermath. Rewording of quote caption: I wouldn't want anyone to believe that Madine said the first line.
 * 89) **I would seriously question the analytical skills of anyone who did. I think the implication that Madine is debunking the belief that the Executor is attacking is made perfectly clear here, beside the fact that two separate quotations are presented. Moreover, there is no information regarding who said the first line, it was really just a sort of random shout coming from a crowd. I'm sorry, but I don't believe a change is necessary. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * History > Executor's Legacy. "Pellaeon often wondered how the Battle of Endor's outcome might have been different if it had been Thrawn commanding the Executor, rather than Vader." Was Vader commanding the Executor during the Battle of Endor? The article seems to suggest that it was Piett, with Vader busy elsewhere (Mostly the Death Star, the planetary surface, wherever). Maybe Pellaeon misunderstood it, or maybe I'm misunderstanding?
 * 91) **I understand your concern, and that is indeed what it seems to suggest, but that is the description as it is exactly presented from the source. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) * Commanders and crew > Kendal Ozzel. "Vader agreed to install him". Agreed with whom? (something already explained under History, but it would be nice to see it repeated here). Current wording only says that naming Ozzel wasn't Vader's idea.
 * 93) **There is really no clear connection between who Vader interacted with outside of Mara Jade to install Ozzel as the Executor's commander. Adding anything of that sort would be OR/fanon. What exactly would you suggest? Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) * Commanders and crew > Kendal Ozzel. "the Dark Lord executed him for his blunder, the second Executor admiral to receive such a punishment" Question: Is the source adamantly specific on Ozzel being the second Executor admiral killed by Vader? As far as I know at this point, maybe there was an interim admiral between Nameless Guy and Bentro, who lasted five minutes and then was killed by Vader. Maybe this guy was admiral during, say, Bentro's holiday or sick leave or anything. Simply tell me: Is there a source saying "Ozzel was the 2nd Executor admiral killed by Vader", or are we making assumptions?
 * 95) **I see your point. I've tweaked the wording to accommodate this possibility. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "Miraculously, Piett survived execution after Skywalker..." Did he? There was no execution. This seems to suggest that Vader strangled Piett with the intent of killing him, but that the Dark Lord failed somehow.
 * 97) **Changed "survived" to "avoided." Again, . Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "this time around Vader simply left the bridge, too shaken from his encounter with Skywalker on Cloud City." I think the "History" section suggested that Vader could have killed Piett (was not too shaken to execute him), but consciously decided not to, as Piett as not responsible of anything.
 * 99) **I'm merely describing what the sources say, be they contradictory or not. I'm not sure what you want me to do here, but I don't feel a discussion regarding a possible contradiction of Vader's mindset is so relevant to this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) * Commanders and crew > Firmus Piett. "Piett had escaped his fate where the Executor's previous admirals had not." POVish, and inexact: Not all the previous admirals were executed by Vader; Griff died in combat. Unless you mean death in general.
 * 101) **Well, this is not what POV is. It is a technically incorrect statement, however, which I have tweaked for accuracy. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) * Commanders and crew > Secondary commanders. I've just discovered here that Venka replaced Piett as the captain of the Executor when Piett was promoted. This is important enough to be mentioned under the "History" section.
 * 103) * Commanders and crew > Secondary commanders. Are we sure the captain in Star Wars 63: The Mind Spider is not the same guy as the captain in Shadows of the Empire? Why?
 * 104) **This would be fanon to make this connection. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) * Non-canon history > Star Wars: X-Wing. This description could use a date. When was Farlander captured? Or, more exactly: When does the plot of SW:XW takes place?
 * 106) **This isn't really necessary. The game spans the duration of Operation: Skyhook, but the Executor has no real role in the game, only appearing as a non-canon cut scene. The only time the Executor ever truly has a role in the game (which was removed in the 1995 re-release) is during the Battle of Tatooine from the beginning of ANH, which is all properly described in the article. If someone wants to read into the details of the game's canonical history, they can click that article's link. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) * Star Wars: Rebellion (video game). Should this be added to the Non-canon history or the BtS? I think Executor is only a default name for any Superdestroyer the Imperial player/AI builds.
 * 108) **It should not. The Executor is only indirectly mentioned in the in-game Piett encyclopedia entry, which is canon. The Executor has no role in the non-canon portion of the game. The game has a number of randomly-generated names, Executor included, which the AI can apply to any given starship at any time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:07, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 109) * Btw, I created and stubbed an article for Atari, just to avoid redlinks, hope you don't mind. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:14, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) One more time, with feeling:
 * 111) You mention ending Black Sun's influence in the intro, but not in the body. It should be mentioned in both, though a less definitive wording like "thrown into disarray" would probably be more accurate. Rebellion Era Campaign Guide (p. 145) mentions that "The loss of Xizor decimates Black Sun in the months prior to the Battle of Endor, sparking an internal power struggle that lasts for several years," which I think is relevant to the legacy of the ship that killed him. (Incidentally, this seems to be the only mention of the Executor in the RECG, but that means it needs to go in the sources section so you may as well ref this to it.) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:15, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) *Added. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:10, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) Harrar - Description section
 * 114) *"Although the command tower....making such Imperial opulence a possibility." &mdash; I'm not sure opulence is the best word to use here. The majority of definitions which I looked up have it as closely linked to wealth, and that's certainly the connotation readers will receive. The command tower's positioning has little to do with wealth, surely?
 * 115) *While you'll probably contend that "like the gaping maw of some beast" comes from the sources you've used, I feel that similes are usually out of place in an encyclopedia. If you can think of another way to provide a description for the chamber than that'd be great; if not then I'll retract the objection.
 * 116) *"Vader acknowledged that his delay was to allow the Rebels time to report back to the Rebel base the Executor's advance toward Yavin 4, before ordering the Super Star Destroyer onward with no delay." Seems a shame to have delay repeated; please reword one of them.
 * 117) *"The Star Destroyers' inaccurate hyperspace jump stopped the Executor cold, allowing the last remnants of the Rebel Fleet to escape safely into hyperspace." &mdash; is it the damage caused by the inaccurate jump what stops the Executor, or is it some sort of hyperspace disturbance? If it's the damage incurred, can you clarify this please?
 * 118) *According to Brenn Tantor and my recollection of Force Commander, it's Tantor who commands Veers during the Battle of Hoth. What's up?
 * 119) *Finished my review. I'll say again that this is a work of true scholarship. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 22:34, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 120) Can you explain in a foot note why you have placed the Tao incident where you have? From reading the comic, it seems to me it could also be placed a lot closer to the Battle of Hoth. As it is ambigious, I don't think it needs to be moved, but the placement should be explained. --Eyrezer 08:06, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Guys, I swear to you that one of the load screens from the Xbox 360 version of The Force Unleashed mentioned Executor as the Mammoth Star Destroyer. I think I mentioned this on the article's talk page before (here) but it was never backed up. Can somebody please look into this now that it's going up for FA? I think that the nickname or title or whatever of the "Mammoth Star Destroyer" should be mentioned somewhere. This is more of a general statement, sort of an objection until this is looked into... –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 06:46, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *As I stated on the talk page, there's no indication that that's meant to be anything but a general description for a "large Star Destroyer," and I would question the sanity of anyone who would think otherwise, though I know there are some out there who will. Regardless, this would probably be information more relevant to the Executor-class article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Well that's a bit insulting, especially considering you haven't even seen it yourself, but okay–point taken. It won't be looked into. –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 03:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***That's not meant to be insulting at all, but you can interpret it like that if you like. It's called a "mammoth Star Destroyer," which isn't indication of being a ship class, like "Mammoth-class Star Destroyer" would be. You're more than welcome to look into it, but I think, as I've stated, it has more to do with the Executor's class. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:51, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Like I explained before, it didn't come up as "mammoth", it came up as "the Mammoth Star Destroyer". –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 04:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****What would you suggest exactly? I'm not sure where this would go other than a short BTS note. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:14, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Meh, I guess you're right, since the ship already has a class. Oh well. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:27, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Dunno if it's any use to you for the length stuff in the BTS, but there's a comment here by one of the Forces of Corruption developers about the scaling of the Executor model in the game. --  I need a name  ( Complain here ) 18:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Attack on the Endar Spire

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: For the Republic. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Excellent job. Well done.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) It's good, but...
 * 2) * All instances of "Master" should be capitilized.
 * 3) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * After you mention "Bastila Shan" the first time, all references to her should be made with her surname.
 * 5) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * After fighting their way to the bridge, Revan and Ulgo found it devoid of Republic soldiers. Overran by the Sith, a group of Sith soldiers attacked the pair. Fending them off, they received word from Onasi that Shan had escaped in an escape pod. Didn't Revan receive this message from Onasi after Ulgo distracted Bandon?
 * 7) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * With Brejik dead, the trio returned to Onasi and Revan’s base of operations. When you play the game, only Revan and Shan return to the hideout, and Onasi goes, "Bastila, you're alive" and so forth.
 * 9) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *Take care of these, and I'll be happy to support the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:59, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 12) * "Attacking it with squadrons of Sith fighters, Darth Bandon, Malak's apprentice, led a boarding party of Sith troopers and Dark Jedi onto the Endar Spire." - did Bandon lead the fighter attack? If not, this sentence should be broken up or reworded.
 * 13) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Now it's a bit awkward. Still needs to be reworded somehow. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ****Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *****Still not fixed. "Attacking it with Sith fighters" is grammatically incorrect where you have it. There needs to be subject-verb agreement in that sentence, and I don't even think using "attack" as a verb here would be a good idea. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Revan, reaching Onasi and the final escape pod, escaped from the ship with the others who had reached the escape pods." - too many forms of "escape." Please substitute.
 * 18) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "...Malak aimed to pull the Endar Spire out of hyperspace and attack it with his forces. When the Leviathan pulled the Endar Spire out of hyperspace, the Sith fleet attacked." - too much repetition.
 * 20) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "...in an attempt to capture Shan alive so that the Sith Empire could use her battle meditation ability." - how would capturing Bastila allow the Sith Empire to use her battle meditation?
 * 22) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It's still not clear how they would be able to use her ability. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Added. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) *****You misunderstood me here - I'm not asking for context on battle mediation; I'm asking for you to clarify how turning Bastila to the dark side would allow the Sith to use her ability. Would she then use it willingly, or would the Sith have to do something else? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Former Sith Lord and Sith Master of Darth Malak, the amnesiac Revan, was serving as a newly recruited soldier for the Republic." - you need to briefly explain how Revan came to be on the Endar Spire here.
 * 27) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *The transition from Bastila's ability to Revan being aboard the Endar Spire is very sudden. Plus, you mention that Revan awoke when the battle started, but then you state that Ulgo woke him. Which is it? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Okay. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Still no good. I'd mention Revan in the prelude, and it would be there that I'd give the details on how he came to be on the ship. Where it is now makes little sense. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic, the Jedi fighting Malak's Dark Jedi and the soldiers from both factions engaging in combat." - this is a bit awkward; please reword or even split it up.
 * 32) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic." - seems a bit unnecessary on its own; please merge with the following sentence. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Still not addressed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "The Sith fleet, not wishing to kill Shan, did not direct firepower that would destroy the ship against the Endar Spire." - "destroy the ship against the Endar Spire"? What?
 * 37) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "...they knew Shan would be attempting to escape in an escape pod." - like one above, you should substituted "escape" with something else.
 * 39) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Hasn't been fixed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Whoops, my bad. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * "In order to save Revan ... the Sith fleet destroyed the Endar Spire." - this entire paragraph is filled with way too many "escape"s and "escaped"s. Please find some appropriate synonyms to use.
 * 43) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Lastly, in the Aftermath section, I think you should occasionally use pronouns and other terms (like "the Jedi") when referring to Bastila. There are an awful lot of "Shan"s as-is. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **All addressed; thanks for the review so far, Tranner. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***As far as I know, Bastila was not the commander of the Endar Spire. Please rephrase/replace. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
 * 1) If I'm not mistake, objections remaining from over a month ago, and it's extremely lagging.  CC7567  (talk) 02:08, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Willing to strike this if the nominator contacts Tranner and gets this going again.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:13, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I would like to note that DT has recently been in contact with me, and he said he would fix my objections, but this has yet to be done. I'm going to wait a bit before voting to remove. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:25, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Apologies; there were a number of objections I believed I'd fixed when I, in actual fact, hadn't. Either way, they're addressed now. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  13:06, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Andeddu

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:So, dog&mdash;have you discovered my final secret?

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) After some minor corrections of my own. Nice work. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Thanks, Vic. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) As always, great job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 21:02, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * File:Andeddu'sKeep.jpg needs to be cropped better. Letterbox frames are visible in the upper left corner. Additionally, the speech bubble text must be restored, to comply with Images. I am also not 100% pleased with the quality of File:AndedduLavaMaker.jpg; there is some distortion. Perhaps Redemption could be persuaded to re-scan the images in question? This objection falls under rules 4 and 16 of the FAN criteria. --Imperialles 12:49, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *First one has been addressed, and awaiting response from Redemption regarding the second one. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 18:37, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Both have been addressed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 04:23, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I trust you'll be updating this when Dynasty of Evil comes out? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:07, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:02, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Not really an objection, but shouldn't the paragraph in the BTS about his appearances be referenced? Just wondering, since I had to do that for Malak, Bandon, and Nord.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Those are self-sourcing statements, which do not require reftags. The ones that are not have all been sourced. Thanks for the review, Kasra. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:18, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Skytop Station

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with CC's Droid Retrieval project

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 22:22, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 19:23, 25 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 14:27, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) * Throughout the article, you say the group were going to target the repulsorlift generators. However in the episode, their target was the main reactor. The reactor was protected by the rayshield.
 * 3) **Okay, I see what you mean.
 * 4) * This may be a speculation but possibly the repulsorlift generators were near the reactor at the time of the station exploding, which caused the Federation core ship to fall.
 * 5) **I think it's a little to speculatory to say that, but I worded it vaguely enough to work out. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:18, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Indeed, I'll review it again soon. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Bah, relapse of Droid Retrieval...
 * 2) * "Although Ventress detested the principals behind the listening post": specifically what kind of principals?
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * Are you sure that it was specifically "Republic Intelligence" that confirmed the station's existence? In Wild Space, I believe it was only referred to simply as "intelligence," and same with "Downfall of a Droid."
 * 5) **Episode guide calls it Repubic Intelligence. I reffed it as such.
 * 6) * For the events surrounding Nachkt's obtaining of R2-D2 and his deal with Grievous, as well as the Mission to suspected Confederate space, can the events be placed better chronologically? They're currently a bit confusing.
 * 7) **Ehrm. Gimme a little bit on that one.
 * 8) ***Better? If I introduce Nachkt any earlier it starts having more focus on Bothawui and less on Skytop Station.
 * 9) * For the second paragraph of "Destruction", "although" starts off sentences twice. Can at least one be varied?
 * 10) **First was changed.
 * 11) * You vary between R3-S6/R3 and R2-D2/R2; can you try to use the droids' full names for consistency? I ran into the same problem when I did the event articles, but I found it was clearer to be consistent.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) * "under his watch": this is a bit unspecific and also a bit unclear; can you reword it?
 * 14) **Taken care of.
 * 15) * I would suggest listing Katuunko's DB entry under the Sources, as it was the only place that confirmed the use of Skytop Station to intercept the meeting between the king and the Supreme Chancellor.
 * 16) **In there.
 * 17) * Any more Bts info that might be out there, either from the video commentaries, the episode guides, or any sourcebooks?  CC7567  (talk) 07:22, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **The video commentary pertains exclusively to the Tano/Grievous duel. And the Episode guides have nothing applicable. As far as sourcebooks go, I skimmed the Campaign Guide yesterday and found nothing. It's kind of a straight forward piece of equipment. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:57, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Kay, last one for now. "Unbeknownst to both Nachkt and Grievous, R2-D2 was never issued a memory wipe, and therefore still retained information on Republic bases and strategies." Can this be moved down, or just removed completely? I'm not getting why it's relevant enough to be mentioned so early here.  CC7567  (talk) 17:57, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Outta there. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:37, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Clone Attack II
 * 22) * This is purely superficial, but can you try to standardize the size of the intro paragraphs? They're a bit uneven.
 * 23) **Eh, I'll work on it. It's a little tough because it's a pretty clear separation between a descriptive paragraph and then a historical paragraph, but gimme a bit and I'll see what I can do.
 * 24) ***If you can't work with changing the split, then you can just leave it as it is; it was more of a comment than an objection. I'm striking this, and I'll leave it up to you what you do with it.  CC7567  (talk) 22:22, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * "giving the Confederacy the ability to ambush Republic fleets": can you try rewording this? I know that this is essentially what the information gave the Confederacy, but it's a bit too general and unspecific. Perhaps something regarding the station's ability to ambush the fleets with the information?
 * 26) **Better?
 * 27) * Can something be said of Tano and Rex's rescue of Skywalker during his scouting mission? I know that it's slightly unrelated to Skytop Station itself, but it's a bit unclear about how they became involved.
 * 28) **Taken care of.
 * 29) * In the second paragraph "Destruction", two sentences begin with "although"; please vary at least one of them.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * Similarly, in the next paragraph, two sentences begin with "as"; please vary sentence structure.
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "Momentarily captured" isn't working very well; it sounds like Tano was captured for "a short amount of time", meaning that she already escaped.
 * 34) **Removed.
 * 35) * Is there a reason its appearance in "Downfall of a Droid" is "referenced to"? Mentioning it this way in the Bts is fine, but I would suggest changing it to Mo or Imo in the Appearances section.
 * 36) **Fixed.
 * 37) *Good work, Trayus.  CC7567  (talk) 21:04, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **Thank you. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:33, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments > JangFett  Talk 14:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * My jury is still out on the necessity of a commanders and crew section. So if you think it's needed, let me know. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, we know that Skytop was crewed by Aqualish technicians, and it also appears that Grievous was in command of the station for some time. So I'd say that a commanders and crew section should be written up, even if it's very short. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:00, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * There's one in there now. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:33, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Fixed quite a few spelling errors. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Tao

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Current GA

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Your linking was seriously lacking though. Make sure you've got that fixed before you nominate an article, please.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 13:08, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) What is the source for the 1 ABY date? AFAIK, the comic itself doesn't state that Tao died exactly one year after Yavin, it could as well be 0 ABY. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Having dealt with this story when writing the Executor article, the comic itself does not provide a hard date, so specifying 1 ABY explicitly is probably unfounded, but a general date can be had when taking into consideration that the Executor is apparently first arriving over Coruscant some time not long after completion, which would give us a date of somewhere circa 0.5 ABY - 1 ABY. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:23, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **I see your point, though I would prefer to see "circa" and a note explaining such choice of date in the article itself. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:06, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) The article is fairly good shape, but I've spotted a few issues. First, I agree with QuiGonJinn; it'd be best to use "circa" or "c." beforehand, but cite a source. Second, the intro needs to be expanded. There appears to be enough info to sustain at least two paragraphs. Fix those and I believe the article is sound enough to be passed.  The Flash  {talk} 21:21, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *He died shortly after the Executor was finished. When was that?--Kreivi Wolter 05:56, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Around 3 BBY.  The Flash  {talk} 17:44, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I've added a footnote as to the date of his death and placed it between 1 and 3 ABY. I'd say it was intended to be just before the Battle of Hoth as it depicts what is likely intended to be the probe launch scene from ESB, and the death is followed by the Battle of Hoth. However, I've tried to explain the ambiguity. --Eyrezer 08:10, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *****Great, but the lead still seems a bit inefficient to me. <font color="DarkCyan">The Flash  {talk} 23:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Can you try and recheck the P&T and P&A? I'm noticing a lot of redundancy between them and the bio, and I'm not sure if all of the detail is necessary.  CC7567  (talk) 23:04, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) No creative reviewing title yet
 * 10) *If he was Vader's apprentice, shouldn't the Order of the Sith Lords be listed in the infobox then?
 * 11) **As I understand it, the Order is a technical title. Vader - and indeed the Emperor - have had numerous apprentices or people that they trained, without them being part of the Order of the Sith Lords. --Eyrezer 08:19, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *Context on Vader upon first mention in the "Battle of Shumari" section.
 * 13) **Done
 * 14) *First paragraph of the "Vader's apprentice" section: Upon ending this meeting, Vader returned to his meditation chamber feeling angry and frustrated... ; Angry at what had transpired in the Yavin system, Vader demanded that Tao come at him with all his anger... ; ...lacking both the hatred and anger required to be a Sith... ; Attempting to fuel Tao's anger.... That's just too angry, please vary words a bit.
 * 15) **Lol - there is a lot of anger in the comic, but modified.
 * 16) *Brief context on the Executor
 * 17) **Done
 * 18) *Though Vader did not wish to do so, he was unable to do otherwise in the presence of Palpatine. Was this the case? When reading the comic, I was left under the impression that Palpatine controlled Vader's actions in some capacity. Please check.
 * 19) *P&A: wishing to avenge his fallen teacher, Tao wished... Repetitive.
 * 20) *Since Vader's Legacy has not been published in three years and appears to be effectively cancelled, the Bts should reflect this.
 * 21) **Done.
 * 22) * QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 07:57, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I don't take credit for writing this article, but as a 1500 GA, I'm nominating it and will see it through the FAN process. --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Young-Elders War

 * Nominated by: &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My fourth completed article and first one long enough to qualify for FA. Part of JonathanProject:Obi-Wan left the Jedi.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) How could I not? —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 04:17, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 08:20, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 00:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 17:47, 28 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:38, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "Yoda sent Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his thirteen-year-old Padawan to rescue Tahl." You need to state who the Padawan is at this point, since you start the next paragraph off talking about him, like he's already been mentioned.
 * 3) **Facepalm. How did I forget that? Addressed.
 * 4) * "Breaking the rules of his apprenticeship, he agreed to help Cerasi and the Young with their plan and participate in the early stages of one of the attacks." How exactly was Kenobi breaking the rules of his apprenticeship?
 * 5) **The source is a bit unclear, but I've clarified it slightly.
 * 6) *Gotta get ready for my football game. More to come later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:45, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **No problem. I'll look forward to the rest of your review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:01, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Didn't The Middle Generation ally themselves with the Young near the end of the war? Why aren't they in the infobox?
 * 9) **The Middle Generation allied with the Young at the end of the war, not "near" the end of the war&mdash;specifically after the attack on the spaceport, which was the battle that ended the war. Since they never actually participated in the war, I didn't list them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Again, the infobox. As I remember, Wehutti was one of the Elders' leaders. If I'm correct, you should add him to the "commanders" field.
 * 11) **In The Defenders of the Dead, it's stated that Wehutti was a Melida leader before the Young-Elders War, but no source explicitly states that he was a commander in the war itself. For all we know, he could be just a political leader and not a military leader. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * I'm sure that the war was mentioned several times in the subsequent books. Something along the lines of "Obi-Wan leaving the Order" counts at least as an indirect mention.
 * 13) **I think that counting every mention of Obi-Wan leaving the Order as an indirect mention of the war might be stretching things a bit, but there might be a few that actually have an indirect mention of the war itself (e.g. I think the The Captive Temple mentions Obi-Wan interfering in a planet's internal affairs, now that I think about it). I'll look into this as soon as I can get the books from the library, but if it only mentions Obi-Wan's resignation in relation to his relationship with Qui-Gon, I wouldn't call it an indirect mention of the war itself. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Mostly addressed. I'm still waiting on The Shattered Peace and The Followers, however; both are listed in my library account as "in transit", so I should have them later today (Thursday). &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:48, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Nothing about the war itself in The Shattered Peace. As far as The Followers, I misread my account; it was a different book labeled "in transit", and the only copy of The Followers in the system is out and not due back until 7/14, so it could be a while before I can get my hands on it. Xwing328, Grunny, and JangFett appear to have it, so I'll see if I can get ahold of one of them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Nothing in The Followers, so this one appears to be fully addressed. Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:33, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Could not find anything else to object to. I remember writing this one a while ago. Great job on expanding and improving it. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) For now, please try to avoid getting dash-happy. There are a ton of unnecessary dashes throughout the article in places where commas would suffice.  CC7567  (talk) 05:34, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Number of dashes significantly reduced to no more than two per paragraph. I have to admit I do tend to use dashes a little too much. Thanks for the first look. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:49, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Will properly review soon.  CC7567  (talk) 17:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Attack of the Clone
 * 5) * For the 'War for peace' section, I'd prefer if you chose either the quote under the main header or the quotes in the subsections. It's a bit overkill with that many quotes in the article, and it would be the equivalent of providing a quote for each section and subsection.
 * 6) **After some consideration, one of the quotes has been moved to the top of the article and is now the lead quote. Another one was deleted in the section merge you asked for below. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Is it possible for the two subsections under "The Jedi" to be merged and removed? The Jedi's mission is collectively both subsections, and there's a bit excess subsectioning.
 * 8) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Similarly, can the subsections in "Peace refused" be eliminated? Since the sections are so closely related, they're a bit scanty in their current state.
 * 10) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * You're using "however" rather extensively throughout the article, and it's getting repetitive; please go through and either vary or remove some of them. I would also recommend checking for other redundant conjunctions.
 * 12) **Several instances have been changed and a few have been completely removed.
 * 13) * I'd like to hear your reasoning on why mentioning the "mentions" of the war in the other Jedi Apprentice books are necessary. Only its direct appearances in media and sourcebooks appear to be warranted.
 * 14) **After thinking about it some, the Apprentice mentions have been condensed into a single sentences with a note explaining that they come primarily as Obi-Wan reflects on the past, which ties into the second paragraph of the BTS. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Good work.  CC7567  (talk) 20:29, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 2,441 words at last count, so not real long. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Little Bivoli

 * Nominated by:Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] (talk) 19:50, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Long story short, I killed off the GAN and put it up for my first FAN.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) I fixed all instances of "Heirogryph", back to "Hierogryph". Looks good, Nayayen.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:57, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 18:37, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * File:Bivolimess.jpg needs to be re-uploaded with the speech bubbles restored. --Imperialles 10:16, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *Fixed Nayayen[[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] (talk) 18:33, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Attack of the Clone
 * 3) * Is it "Little Bivoli", as the title states, or "the Little Bivoli"? Please try to be consistent.
 * 4) **The ship is called "Little Bivoli" but one refers to it as "the Little Bivoli", as with the Executor. I fixed all instances to "the Little Bivoli". Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "the outer parts of the these were on the diagonal surfaces of the vessel, and when open, would not beneath the partial shelter of the overhanging hull, meaning that these parts were not protected from rain.": please check this; it seems like there's something missing after "would not".
 * 6) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Please vary "located".
 * 8) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "This fooled Slyssk into making a life-debt to him, declaring the Snivvian to be his Ghrakhowsk, the Trandoshan term for person to whom a life-debt was being pledged, the to pay him." Please check this sentence, particularly the last part.
 * 10) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***"This fooled Slyssk into making a life-debt to him; declaring the Snivvian to be his Ghrakhowsk, the Trandoshan term for the person to whom a life-debt was being pledged." Your semicolon usage is improper here, and it disrupts the sentence flow. Please either replace it with what it was before or rephrase it.  CC7567  (talk) 17:49, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Sorry, fixed. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:40, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * "They were ordered to merge into formation for a hyperspace jump bound for Serroco": who's "they"? The previous sentences brings up more subjects that could serve as the subject of this sentence. Please clarify.
 * 14) **Fixed Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Overall, I'm noticing a distinct underusage of commas. Please go through the article again and make sure that none of the sentences are run-ons, because that's what the lack of commas are causing.
 * 16) **I noticed that it was a case of too many commas in some places and none where they were needed. I've fixed them and a disjointed sentence or two. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  10:11, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I'll continue with "Camp Three" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 05:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * The first sentence of "Destruction" does not make sentence. Please check it and clarify.
 * 19) **Reworded Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * The "Owners and operators" is placing a lot on what is "known" and "unknown," but this is improper wording for IU articles. Please only state what's known and write it from a more general point of view.
 * 21) **Reworded Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Despite the Little Bivoli's destruction at the Battle of Serroco, Hierogryph and Slyssk managed to escape and were reunited with Carrick soon thereafter." Is this absolutely necessary in the Bts? It should be in the History, if anything, because in the Bts it's simple and unneeded trivia.  CC7567  (talk) 00:39, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Moved to history. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *Thanks for the reviews CC. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mission to Rodia

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 22:20, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part one of Capture of the Wealthworm. (Not a CloneProject, cuz this time there are others involved. :P) But by far, not my favorite when there's so much more interesting stuff out there.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 15:04, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:38, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Redlink in the intro.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:49, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Ugh. Taken care of.  CC7567  (talk) 01:39, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Fett
 * 4) * "Binks discovered the Jedi robe belonging to the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Amidala's secret husband, in a chamber of the yacht." While it was Anakin's cloak, It wasn't mentioned in "Bombad Jedi". Possibly reword to say "a Jedi Robe, that belonged to Anakin Skywalker".
 * 5) **It was defined in the Decoded episode, hence why it is referenced as so. I see no reason for rewording.  CC7567  (talk) 07:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Oh okay, the latter is sourced to just "Bomdbad Jedi" rather than the decoded episode.
 * 7) * I see some minor pbp within the paragraphs of The "Bombad Jedi" section.
 * 8) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 07:36, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Excellent work CC. I do like the section title The "Bombad Jedi" :P  JangFett  Talk 03:46, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 11) * "Binks, however, discovered that he was standing on a Kwazel Maw&hellip;" Did he land on it? If so, "discovered that he had landed on" would follow on better from him falling into the water.
 * 12) * "Back in the detention tower, Amidala tricked her battle droid guards into believing that the Jedi was rescuing her." The Jedi? Is that supposed to be Binks (she doesn't learn he's been mistaken for a Jedi until the next paragraph) or was she just making one up? Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Both addressed; hopefully the second one has been clarified. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 07:45, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Check the BTS of the Bombad Jedi. The fact that Quinlan Vos was at some point going to present during those events should be mentioned in BTS.  Mauser  Comlink 23:10, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Bah...forgot that. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 00:06, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm not striking it since it wasn't a formal objection to begin with. :)  Mauser  Comlink 00:28, 30 June 2009 (UTC)

Qu Rahn
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:03, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: Part 2 of QuiGon Project: Dark Forces

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:19, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 15:52, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 19:10, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:31, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:37, 30 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:36, 1 July 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 15:50, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) I've been waiting for this for a long time (Farlstendoiro)
 * 2) * Early life, 3rd paragraph, has a link to Emperor Palpatine. I suggest two links instead, Emperor Palpatine.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Vader killed all the Jedi at the location—except for Rahn himself. Do we know why he did not kill Rahn? If so, I think it should be explained.
 * 5) **The source does not specify how he survived. Actually, it does not state that Rahn was the only survivor either, so I reworded it.
 * 6) * Please add some context about Yoda surviving Order 66, exiling in Dagobah and -more important- why Rahn knows about Yoda's position.
 * 7) **Addressed. Again, the source does not specify how Rahn learned about Yoda's exile.
 * 8) * After his meeting with Yoda, Rahn became determined to find the Valley of the Jedi in order to free the spirits trapped there so they could join the Force, thus preventing any possibility of the valley's power being used for evil. "Thus preventing" suggests (at least to me) that Rahn, merely by becoming determined, prevented that possibility. I suggest rewording.
 * 9) **Reworded.
 * 10) * Ultimately, Jerec caught wind of Rahn's search. Hoping to find the valley in order to obtain its power, he initiated his own search. I know "he" refers to Jerec, but it might refer to either Jerec or Rahn. Change for "The Inquisitor" or something?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * I seem to remember that, when Rahn met Morgan Katarn, the former found some connection between his new friend's surname and the clan Rahn had studied at; Rahn gave some importance to that, believing it was a signal from the Force. I don't remember the source. Do you know something about this?
 * 13) **The only mention of the Katarn clan comes from The Dark Forces Saga. The similarity between the clan's name and Morgan's surname is noted there, but there is no indication that Rahn gave it some importance. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * I also seem to remember that, when Rahn attacked the Dark Side Elite, the officers in the bridge rushed to help the Elite; Jerec, however, ordered them not to, as fighting a real Jedi could be a good exercise for the Elite. Again, I can't remember which adaptation of Dark Forces II it was.
 * 2) **I'm aware of this, it's from the Rebel Agent novel. However, I fail to see how this can be relevant to Rahn's article. It only shows how Jerec treated his underlings, something that IMO has no direct relation to Rahn. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***I was thinking it could mean that Jerec respected Rahn or Rahn's prowess to an extent - but never mind.
 * 2) ****Well, it doesn't really show Jerec's respect. Jerec just says: The practice will do them good, and I think that's all that he meant. Not a specific practice with Rahn, but practice against Jedi in general. Just to let you know. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Rahn answered that "that" was entirely up to him. Can you reword that that "that"?
 * 2) **Dunno how to reword it. Changed to italics, like in Yun's article. It worked fine there...
 * 3) * Rahn almost hoped that Jerec would find him, so he could exact justice on the Miraluka. This is the first mention to Jerec being a Miraluka, which is a not-so-known species. Could you add "the Miraluka Inquisitor", "the Miraluka Dark Jedi" or something? Just to remove any ambiguity.
 * 4) **Changed "the Miraluka" to "the Inquisitor". This way, there won't be any ambiguity for sure.
 * 5) * "Telekinesis" is not written with a capital letter.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * A mention to Socorran (language) redirects to Socorro (planet). Correct it.
 * 8) **Fixed.
 * 9) ***Just corrected a typo myself, hope you don't mind.
 * 10) * The BtS could use an image of the "Dark Rahn", if available.
 * 11) **Added. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *That all. Seriously, I had this article in my watchlist and was eager to see it nominated ;) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:42, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thanks for your review. Sorry for keeping you waiting. I started working on it a while ago, but then I was a little busy, and then I was a little bored. Now that I'm back to writing, stay tuned for Gorc and Maw, and eventually to the rest of Seven Dark Jedi )) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **Proccessed what you've done; some objections still pending. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 18:10, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Priestly duties
 * 3) * "a powerful Force nexus which contained numerous Jedi souls" &mdash; can we add that they were trapped souls?
 * 4) **We can :P
 * 5) * "Rahn instructed to pass the information about the Valley to Morgan's son, Kyle." &mdash; you're missing something after "instructed".
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * "in order to obtain its power" - obtain doen't read like the right choice here; that sounds like a sceptre of Ragnos style power appropriation. Maybe "harness" would work better. Thoughts?
 * 8) **"Harness" is OK.
 * 9) * Context in the main body on the Separatist Crisis please.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "Although Rahn was baffled by both the new knowledge and the weapon Yoda gave him, Rahn accepted it and vowed to protect the lightsaber as it would him." - It's unclear whether you want "it" to refer to the lightsaber or to Yoda's actions. This doesn't read very well and I'm not sure if it's grammatically correct, so please have a go at rewording it.
 * 12) **Reworded it a bit.
 * 13) * "Rahn arrived on Sulon and stood at Katarn's farm for some time. From Katarn, Rahn learned that the valley did in fact exist." - so he's standing at the farm doing what? Talking to Katarn? Or just musing? Please clarify.
 * 14) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 15) * "Yoda had once told him that if one should choose the dark side, it would forever dominate his destiny" -- you use "one" and then link it to "his", but one is neuter. Can you re-word this so this mistake is excised?
 * 16) **Reworded.
 * 17) * "Rahn appeared to Katarn as a voice" Hmmmm. Not sure about appearing to someone as a voice. Please reword.
 * 18) **Reworded.
 * 19) * "After that, Qu Rahn was not seen or heard contacting Katarn." - the death of Jerec, the liberation of the spirits, events on Ruusan as a whole? Please clarify.
 * 20) **I guess "the events on Ruusan" encompasses all of the above, so I'll just stick to it.
 * 21) * In the powers and abilities section you use "being able" twice in succession. Please reword one of these.
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) *A couple of repeated mistakes. Split infinitives "to even touch" are not really the done thing/ You also used the definite article several times when it was unnecessary to do so and you need to make sure that your antecedents are clear with complex sentence structures. There was also a little too much underlinking for my liking &mdash; Jedi training, death, space, Force vision, sai tok, and the occasional missing word. But above all this was a great read from what were conflicting sources and is a decent biography of a really interesting character. Well done and keep up the great Dark Forces work! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:31, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks for your review. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:44, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) Clone attack
 * 26) * "In 3 ABY, Yoda was visited on Dagobah by the famous Rebel hero and Anakin Skywalker's son, Luke Skywalker, who sought training in the ways of the Jedi. Yoda agreed to teach him, and during Skywalker's training, Yoda spoke of Rahn." Please clarify how this is relevant. If you believe it's necessary for the article, it needs to be rewritten so that it doesn't sound like a side fact or piece of trivia like it does now.
 * 27) **After trying to figure out how to make it less trivial and failing to do so, I decided to remove it altogether. Come to think of it, it was really more relevant to Yoda's or Luke's articles.
 * 28) * "with a sleeping gas": if it's "a" like how it is now, it's going to have to be linked or named.
 * 29) **Well, it was only identified as "sleep gas" in the source, but its effects are identical to those of the Coma gas, so I'd assume that they are the same.
 * 30) * "Rahn and his group tried to reach for the space suits": what space suits? There weren't any mentioned before, yet you say "the".
 * 31) **Fixed.
 * 32) * "it was the vision that led him to Morgan Katarn": again, what vision? You haven't mentioned it before in the P&A.
 * 33) **Fixed.
 * 34) *Please watch linking. Also, please watch your paragraph size; having paragraphs ranging from one to two to six semi-related sentences in size isn't very consistent.  CC7567  (talk) 03:11, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **Thanks for review CC. I'll try to pay more attention to linking and paragraph size in the future. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:09, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:05, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Couldn't find any source for the 55 BBY birthdate. If someone knows it, please tell me. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Stuff like "lackeys" and "minions" stray close to POV. I've removed them and re-worded them to "Dark Jedi", "followers" etc. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:31, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Rescue on the Tranquility

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally, something actually interesting. Third to Capture of the Wealthworm.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 15:02, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Small thing: you attribute the first "Operation" quote to a navigation officer, howeve Gree refers to him as the Captain in the episode. You also later simply call him a naval officer.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:22, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well, according to the TCWCG, he's definitely a naval officer; that's all I'm sure of. I'll correct it for consistency and reference it properly, but I didn't want to call him a captain because he's even called a commander (if he's the same guy) later in the episode. The only thing that's certain is that he's a naval officer, per the TCWCG.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Ah, I see. So long as he's not called a navigation officer.
 * 4) Minor repairing
 * 5) * It was during the rescue that Argyus was killed, even if they weren't in the battle ground anymore. It should be marked to info box.
 * 6) **He did not die during the rescue. He died during the escape, and that was not part of the battle. The "rescue" ended when Gunray and Argyus fled the Tranquility, as you'll see in the Aftermath section.
 * 7) ***Well, I crossed that objection, but from my point of view the escape is still counted to be a part of a rescue, and Argyus was killed during it.
 * 8) * Wouldn't it be better "all B2 super battle droids" than just "B2 super battle droids" in casualties?
 * 9) **The statement "the enemy has been repelled" does not mean that all of the B2 super battle droids were destroyed; "repelled" means that they were driven off. I have yet to see a source that explicitly states that all of them were destroyed.
 * 10) * Argyus used Gunray as a living shield. What prevented Gree to shoot, as Gunray was in enemy side? Clarify.
 * 11) **Added.  CC7567  (talk) 18:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *Otherwise wonderful job.--Kreivi Wolter 13:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) Lets get this thing moving
 * 14) * In the infobox, "1 Dark Acolyte" is not sourced. Also, for "Viceroy", possibly add "1 Neimoidian viceroy" to specify.
 * 15) **Addressed the former, see no reason to change the latter.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Tano remained with Captain Argyus to protect Gunray from the possibility of attack, while Unduli and CC-1004 went to assist the clone troopers in repelling the droids." Possibility of attack from whom? While I don't think Unduli told Tano told remain with Gunray due to an a possible attack, but to guard Gunray.
 * 17) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * I see paragraphs within "Confrontation on the detention level" get too pbp.
 * 19) * Same with "Duel in the engine room"
 * 20) * Same with "Betrayal and escape"
 * 21) **All addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Ventress deactivated the laser gate of Gunray's cell, and as Tano arrived and slashed at the viceroy, Ventress kicked the Padawan into the detention block." I don't recall seeing Tano slashing at Gunray prior to being kicked inside the cell by Ventress. By rewatching the episode, Tano ran with her lightsaber but stopped her advance near Gunray and Ventress. Also, it is not "detention block" but "detention cell". Block is the entire area.
 * 23) **She did not stop her advance, and I don't see the basis behind your reasoning. The other has been fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***It appeared that she did. She froze before being kicked into the cell by Ventress. But, I'll go head and strike this out since my reasoning might be a viewers-poi/speculation.
 * 25) * "As CC-1004 confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic, the captain bent down to grab the clone's fallen blaster." I believe you meant "commented", as opposed to "confronted". If not, this sentence is rather confusing by saying "he confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic."
 * 26) **"Confront" is not always defined as a physical action; it can be a verbal one. If Gree was only "commenting" on it, he wouldn't be asking Argyus why he did what he did.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "The Confederate Head of State planted the Republic tracking beacon in Grievous's own lair on Vassek in order to lure Fisto and his former Padawan, Nadhar Vebb, to the planet." Due to LoG decoded, Grievous' lair is on the "Third moon of Vassek".
 * 28) **Next time, if you know this yourself, go ahead and fix it yourself. This is a simple objection.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Once the Jedi were in place, Grievous would be able to hunt them for sport and display his capabilities as a Jedi hunter." Do you think this is relevant to mention?
 * 30) **It goes with the "reassessment" that is otherwise unclear.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *Overall, great work CC. :)  JangFett  Talk 03:20, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I know that the FAN is still lagging right now, but I don't mind waiting.  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Not a formal objection, but my concerns about the article title still stand. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:03, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, if I get more time to think about it, perhaps I'll move it, but as for now I think it's fine; it's going to be conjecturally titled either way.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "Skirmish" still sounds cooler (:P), but it's been moved to "Rescue on the Tranquility".  CC7567  (talk) 20:54, 3 July 2009 (UTC)

Tranquility

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 08:05, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gotta keep up with CC :P

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Please watch linking, though.  CC7567  (talk) 04:04, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * Are you sure the Tranquility was the one that arrived over Rodia during "Bombad Jedi"? I know that there's some information to suggest that it was, but neither the episode nor its online guide confirmed it. If another source states that it was, please reference it.
 * 3) **I'm not seeing where I indicated that.
 * 4) ***Bah; sorry, I must have misread it.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * If the Tranquility was the one that appeared during "Bombad Jedi", please try to shorten the intro. It's debatable whether or not Amidala and Binks even require a mention here, but there's simply too much context for Gunray. If it needs to be stated that Gunray was "fighting against the Republic", state it in the body; it's already heavily implied if he was captured by Republic forces.
 * 6) **Took out the Council context.
 * 7) * "The ventilation shafts were utilized by Asajj Ventress to travel from the flight deck to the engine room, and from there to the detention level." Ventress is going to need context here if you're going to mention her so early; unless there's a reason for it, I would suggest removing this and mentioning it chronologically when she actually uses the shafts.
 * 8) **Removed.
 * 9) * "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars." Yes, this is part of its history, but it should have (at least) also been mentioned in the "Characteristics" section. Also, please watch overlinking.
 * 10) **The fact that it's a Venator in the Republic navy is already in the characteristics. If I were to explicitly restate that "The Tranquility was a Venator-class Star Destroyer in the service of the Republic Navy during the Clone Wars.", it would be extremely unneccessary and repetitive, as that information is already in the intro and history.
 * 11) ***Fair enough.  CC7567  (talk) 04:13, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "The boarding ship's pincers pierced the Tranquility ' s hull, and inserted into the roof of the dorsal flight deck." This is redundant; you've already said that the Droches slammed into the Star Destroyer's hull. Also, please check the last part of the sentence; it's not flowing well.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * In the third paragraph of "Prisoner transport", please try to vary "while".
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) *I'll continue this with you later when I have more time, but I'll leave you with these for now.  CC7567  (talk) 23:28, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Alright. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:34, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Onaconda Farr

 * Nominated by: Kilson Likes PIE 13:41, 04 July 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I don't even attempt to keep up with CC anymore. :P

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) The Bts is pretty minimal at the moment, and structured oddly. Provide more information about his first movie appearance - who played him etc - and then provide more info on the retcon, such as who played him in the earlier film (if such info is available.) --Eyrezer 06:55, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I have restructured the Bts and put new and updated information in. However, I had to remove Episode 1 retcon part because it was false. Previously, another user tried to GA this article and put the retcon in. I thought it was correct, but when I tried to find it on the HoloNet website, I could not. I was finally able to get in touch with the user (he was banned, making it slightly difficult to find him) it turned out that he had mistaken some text on the website for a retcon. I am now trying to confirm whether Farr truly did appear in Cloak of Deception and Acts of War. Kilson Likes PIE 15:35, 27 July 09 (UTC)
 * 3) **Just as an update to this issue, I am also no searching to see if there is any evidence to suggest Farr appeared in these sources. I will have the answer within the next few days, hopefully. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:19, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) I had gone through each section and fixed typos and spelling errors. There were quite a large number of them.  I'll give the article a more-thorough read-through here in a lil bit, see if there is anything else that needs addressed.  As far as the spelling goes, though, that's taken care of.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 04:45, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Oh, concerning the "Cute_Ono" pic with the clone stamped panel removal and missing trophy head... I redrew in the missing trophy head and the missing portion of the fireplace, matching Katie's linework as closely as I could. For the time being, I uploaded it under a different name and tossed it in my Garage if you wanna use it.  I didn't replace the pic as the swamp slug head and fireplace ended up being largely guesswork.  But it's available if you think it's worth using.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 03:53, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **I love it. I'm perfectly comfortable with using it, so long as the Inqery permits it as not overly adjusted from the original. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:40, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) The clone attacks a senator
 * 3) *"Farr summoned long-time friend Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo to Rodia, so that the Naboo senator was abducted and handed over to Trade Federation Viceroy Nute Gunray." Please reword this. It's poor wording overall.
 * 4) *Throughout the article, there's a lot of Farr's views on different acts and movements in the article, but they all lack defined outcomes. They're relevant; please add them in.
 * 5) *Is it specifically mentioned as an "Army of the Republic"?
 * 6) *It'll have to stop there for now. One thing I noticed, however, is that there are still numerous minor errors that you could have caught by now. If you're going to take over this nomination, Trayus, I would suggest giving it a copyedit yourself to make sure it's up to your own standards, because I'm unsure if you believe it currently is.  CC7567  (talk) 03:59, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Requires an update from The Clone Wars: Hunting the Hunters (Part 2).  CC7567  (talk) 03:19, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm unsure about taking over this one; I'd already promised to help the nominator with several sources that he did not have access to, but not take it over completely, persay. I'll make a decision in a few days, but I'd like to request that this nomination remain up for the time being.  CC7567  (talk) 23:30, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Trayus is welcome to take over this nomination.  CC7567  (talk) 23:01, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
 * 1) Nominator has recently been blocked for a significantly extended period of time and has informed an administrator that he has quit the site. If CC wants to take over this article for the sake of his project, I would be satisfied, but if not, I vote to remove. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:17, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Eh. Right now, I do not feel capable of tracking down all the sources. My sincere apologies to the nominator, whom I was going to help, but I don't want the nomination process to have to wait for me to find every appearance and clarify them.  CC7567  (talk) 23:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I recently informed CC via the IRC that I would be willing to take over this nomination and address any objections as best I can. While I lack two of the sources, I am able to find the information from them and do my best to keep this article in featured condition if it does get approved. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:57, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Trayus, if you want to take it over, that's fine with me, and I'm sure the rest of the Inq will agree. Good luck, I'll try to give you a review soon. :)  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:57, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Merrick Simms

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:39, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Is there anybody who didn't fight at Yavin and Endor?

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:59, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:18, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 02:33, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * Same thing as Farrell: Species and gender should be in the intro and the beginning of the bio.
 * 3) * Under "Appearances," shouldn't the ROTJ novel have the tag (in addition to the  tag), and then Rebel Assault would have a  tag?
 * 4) *Otherwise, another interesting read. Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:51, 6 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Both done. Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:33, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Nahdar Vebb

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:04, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Why couldn't they just call him Bant?

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Nice to see this guy in better shape.  CC7567  (talk) 03:19, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Kreivi Wolter 04:34, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Should the " "Newsreel" only " be changed to "appears in flashback" ?--Kreivi Wolter 13:32, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * He can't appear in a "flashback" if he hasn't already appeared.  CC7567  (talk) 21:47, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Good point.--Kreivi Wolter 04:37, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

Endar Spire

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  09:05, 7 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've got a feeling that won't be our last battle with the Sith.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Mission to the third moon of Vassek

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 08:03, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Conclusion of Capture of the Wealthworm, but the article's awkwardly long name is attributed to the pursuit for "factual correctness".

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Good work.--Kreivi Wolter 18:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) When is Nahdar refered to as a general?  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:06, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Ugh, this debate again. I'll just remove it to stop assuming.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Not really a matter of debate. More a matter of accuracy, as he has never been referred to as such, and not every Knight and master became a general. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:00, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Apparently, Path of the Jedi depicts another version of the mission, which involves Skywalker, Tano or Yoda being sent to Vassek to assisst Fisto. While obviously non-canon since it contradicts the episode, you may want to add the game's storyline to the Bts.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:45, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, didn't like that game, but addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 21:20, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Ben Skywalker

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 19:42, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes! We are victorious! Huzzzzaaahhhh!

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) My favorite character. Great job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:23, 19 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Not the biggest fan of that profile image, but the prose is excellent and the article itself is of high caliber.  The Flash  {talk} 00:11, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) * "As both of his parents were Jedi spend time with him as they fought in the war..." Is this supposed to be "they were unable to spend time..."  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:22, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Wow. My bad. Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 22:27, 8 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Why is the Jedi Council meddling with FAN?!?
 * 5) * Intro: "Solo had just returned to the New Jedi Order after a five-year journey to learn more about the Force, was able to help Skywalker open himself up to the Force gradually, although Skywalker was still apprehensive about it for a while, and it would take him years to become fully adjusted to the Force." A bit of a run-on; please break it up.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * Intro: Three consecutive paragraphs begin "In XX ABY,"; can you change a couple of them?
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * Intro: "Eventually Caedus was killed in the Battle of Shedu Maad,": The actual duel in which he was killed has its own article, so is there a reason you linked to and named the battle instead?
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * Intro: In the first sentence of the fourth paragraph, you should link to Luke's actual court case, though I'm not sure where to place it.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * 1.1 Pre-birth: "The Skywalkers were on the Coruscant beach": Context on the beach, please. A lot of people would be a bit shocked to find out that Coruscant has a beach somewhere in all of that durasteel; I know I was when I first read about it in Rebirth.
 * 14) * 1.3.1 Dark Nest Crisis > A new threat: "As Rar and Gorog sped away from Ossus in a stolen skiff, Ben received a final message from the Killik, who said that she wanted Ben to be happy. When he told Luke of Gorog's message," Until now, you've called her "the Gorog". Now you suddenly switch to simply calling her Gorog, as if that is her actual name like Luke, Ben, Leia, etc. Is there a reason for this?
 * 15) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:42, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *I'll continue with "Second Galactic Civil War" in a day or two. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:31, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) From the Council Chambers: (part 2)
 * 18) * 1.4.2 Second Galactic Civil War > Operation Roundabout: In the second paragraph, it might be a good idea to mention Ben's repeated failures in the simulation and Jacen's resulting doubt as to whether Ben should go on the mission (that is, if I remember the events of Betrayal correctly). This would also help bring that paragraph in line with the surrounding paragraphs as far as size, though that itself is not a major issue.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * 1.4.2: In the fourth paragraph, you start three out of four consecutive sentences with "However"; can you change a couple?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * 1.4.6 Civil unrest: "Skywalker was at Solo's apartment at the time and was unharmed.": Is there a reason for having this sentence? It seems unnecessary to me.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * 1.4.7 The Galactic Alliance Guard: "Shevu eventually entered the interrogation chamber with Girdun as Skywalker looked on and tried to heal Habuur, but to no avail": Unclear as to whether Shevu or Skywalker was the one who tried to heal Habuur.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * 1.4.7: "It pointed to a nearby apartment building, which Skywalker and the GAG squad forcibly entered. They met resistance, forcing Skywalker to kill the two men inside." "Forcibly" and "forcing" are a bit repetitive since they have the same root word.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * 1.4.10 Ziost: "Skywalker checked all of the objects on his belt for a tracking device and found it inside his belt pouch. Skywalker checked the skies for the TIE fighter and saw it speeding toward them." Two straight sentences start with the same two words; can you change one?
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * 1.4.12 Loss of a parent: "He went to the GAG compound and took a speeder, following Lumiya and the Sith ship. He followed it into Hapan space," A "speeder" is purely an atmospheric vehicle, so how did he travel through space?
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * 1.4.13 Change of heart: "He defeated the CSF security detail guarding Omas and afterward had a brief engagement with a security droid but ended up staring down the barrel of Omas' blaster pistol, although Skywalker swiftly disarmed him." A bit of a run-on; please break it into two sentences.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * 1.4.17 Final victory: The quote contains an error: "you're no better suited to be Sith apprentice" should be "you're no better suited to be a Sith apprentice". If this error is also in Invincible (which I don't have to check), then it deserves a [sic], otherwise it needs corrected.
 * 35) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:42, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *I'll complete the review, beginning with "Travels with his father", by the end of the week. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 00:40, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) From the Council Chambers: (round 3)
 * 38) * 1.5 Travels with his father: Mention should be made at the beginning of this section or and the end of the previous section of Ben's promotion to Knight.
 * 39) * 1.5.1 Travels > The Baran Do: You have exactly one subheading under this heading&mdash;"The Hidden Ones". One thing I was taught in high school English class is that a point in an outline should never have only a single sub-point. While it doesn't technically apply directly to subheadings in an article, the MediaWiki software automatically converts the headings into the TOC, which is basically an outline. This is clearly nitpicking a little, but I'd like to see either the single sub-heading removed or see a second sub-heading added immediately below "The Baran Do", whichever you feel would be better.
 * 40) * 1.5.1: "Ziil stated that he would tell those on the surface that his earlier message about the Skywalkers' deaths was a mistake, and he promised to free his servants and appoint a board of advisers, and in a couple of years they would reassess the situation.": "And" is repetitive here.
 * 41) * 1.5.2 The Aing-Tii: "Tadar'Ro took them to a house created for Jorj Car'das, a former smuggler who had once stayed with the Aing-Tii, where they were to stay while learning with the Aing-Tii.": "Stay" is repetitive here.
 * 42) * BTS: I'd like to see the BTS expanded a bit. Though individual appearances are probably too numerous to list in full, you should at least mention the series that he appeared in (NJO, Dark Nest, LOTF and FOTJ) and what kind of role he played in each (i.e. minor/major).
 * 43) *Last note, though not a objection: Some newbie added something to the BTS about Timothy Zahn the other day. The source provided gives the information about two-thirds of the way down. It's your call on what you want to do with it. Great job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 17:43, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) The Flash
 * 45) * Refs 30, 31, and 32 are bare URLs - please fix them
 * 46) **Why would that be a problem.
 * 47) ***Look kind of out of place, sort of jumbled. Just a suggestion.  The Flash  {talk} 02:45, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) ****I apologize, but I'm hopeless with sourcing. I don't know how to pretty them up. :P  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:57, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *****I've fixed them for you, Floyd. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 08:55, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) *******Great :D  The Flash  {talk} 00:11, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * BTS - needs more refs, just general ones to the books they mention
 * 52) **Those are really self-referencing, and don't require ref tags.
 * 53) ***Alright.  The Flash  {talk} 02:45, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Also in BTS, is The Lost Lightsaber confirmed to be non-canon? Tales are generally ambig for those set of issues and would better put in the actual history with an ambig tag.
 * 55) **Tales 1-20 is generally used as non-canon.
 * 56) * I agree with Darth Trayus's comment below - it might be best to put a more time-fitting image of Luke in the "Duel" section.
 * 57) **Addressed.
 * 58) *This article is in really good shape, actually, and I'd be very happy with it if those points were met - nice work.  The Flash  {talk} 23:48, 22 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Heads-up; readded the Databank link for you, it seems to have gotten (accidentally) removed during the article's transition.  Firebird  [[File:Moltresheadsig.PNG]] heart's eye 12:49, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Is there a reason you use such an outdated image of Luke in the "Duel at the Temple" section? He looks younger than Jacen does in the "Regaining his connection to the Force" section. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:18, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Radd Minker

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:08, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Spoilers for Omen - I couldn't let Jonjedigrandmaster get all the Omen noms ...

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:56, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I would like to see some more quotes, though. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:52, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Harrar
 * 2) *"As he asked her to surrender, citing the three-to-one odds she faced." This sentence has gone wrong; I'm not sure what you want to do with it.
 * 3) **Hopefully fixed.
 * 4) *Here's to more Minker -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:30, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Not too much, I hope - I have enough articles to keep updating ;) - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:08, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Cav, I figured most of my points fell under, so I apologize if I messed things up. I was concerned about the line "like all Brubbs" as there is no source that generalizes this so tightly to my knowledge. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:52, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm ready to vote, but before I do, does this need updating from Abyss?  CC7567  (talk) 23:23, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Calo Nord

 * Nominated by:Jedi Kasra (talk)
 * Nomination comments: Might as well nom this, too...

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) LordDeathRay  (My Sith Holocron)  01:27, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Pre-nom reviewed. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 14:16, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * Context on the Mando Wars and the Jedi Civil War
 * 3) **I took out the Mandalorian Wars part, so far there is no record of his being active during that time, just the Jedi Civil War. Can't just assume that he was without any proof. Context for the JCW and Revan and Malak is there.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "On his sixteenth birthday, he killed his slave masters, and then tracked down and murdered his mother and father, who had sold him into slavery when he was a boy." Triple "and." (partially my fault, sorry :P)
 * 5) **Took care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "amnesiac former Sith Lord Revan" This either needs context or needs to be changed to something like "a Galactic Republic soldier." Revan was not Revan at this point, when his mind was changed, he became a different person and, at this point in continuity, his past as a Sith Lord is irrelevant.
 * 7) **True, but the context about his former life is relevant, since it establishes why Malak would send both Nord and Bandon after him and Shan.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Good point.
 * 9) * "he butchered his slave masters" I know this is nitpicky but does the Prima Guide specifically say "butchered."
 * 10) **After reading the Databank entry, I see that it confirms this. The statement should be sourced to there if it does not appear in the Prima guide.
 * 11) ***Yes, it does. I got it from the guide.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "After watching Nord kill three Black Vulkars for disturbing him" I don't remember, were the three specified as Vulkars?
 * 13) **If Revan converses immediately after Nord kills the thugs, Revan says "I saw how you mopped up those Vulkars"&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Nord and Kang&mdash;who themselves tried to make it to the ship&mdash;caught Revan and his companions trying to steal the ship." Double "and"
 * 15) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***There's nothing particularly wrong with using two ands in one sentence like that. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:01, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ****I know. Grammatically it was fine but it still read a bit off. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:56, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *"Kang perished in the fighting and Revan, Shan, and Onasi boarded the Ebon Hawk, picked up the rest of their companions, and fled Taris." Double "and"
 * 19) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * "When Nord had sufficiently recovered, he had a private audience with Darth Malak aboard the Leviathan and, along with Admiral Karath, told the Sith Lord that Shan had escaped Taris' destruction with the help of Onasi." "Along with Admiral Karath is awkward here. Is there a source that states Nord informed him of Revan being alive here? Also, I don't think Calo and Karath told Malak this together.
 * 21) **Took care of "along with", Karath had all the other soldiers leave the bridge before they told Malak. "Lord Malak, forgive me. There is something else. May we have a private audience away from the ears of the common soldiers? "I trust you are not wasting my time, Admiral Karath." "I promise you will be very interested in what Calo has to tell you about Bastila's other companions, Lord Malak".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Nord then set out to find Revan and his companions. After Taris' destruction, Revan had become a Padawan to be retrained in the Jedi ways at the Jedi Enclave" "Retrained" is odd here because it hasn't been made clear that Revan forgot his training, didn't finish training, or that he was trained by Jedi at all before this. Reword.
 * 23) **I believe the context had been established.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "When Revan asked Nord if they could work out a deal so as to avoid fighting, Nord told him that he was not in it for the credits; rather, he had a reputation to protect." I'm not sure that you can say that he chose a certain conversation option in the body of the article (unless its the only option, of course).
 * 25) **The other dialogue options are aggressive, and un-Jedi like, which I thought went against Wookiepedia policy of 100% light-side choices unless otherwise stated by another source. These are the other options: "You traveled a long way just to die, Calo!" and, "You think I got lucky last time? Okay, let's do it again!".--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***OK.
 * 27) * "With that, Nord attacked Revan, but he and his minions were killed by the redeemed Jedi and his companions" Another mention of his time as a Sith Lord, nothing has been mentioned of anything Revan did that would need penance.
 * 28) **Context has been established.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Shortly after Nord's death, Admiral Karath informed Darth Malak of Nord's failure. Malak told Karath that the penalty for failure was death, but that the failure was Nord's." This is slightly confusing. Why would Malak have to tell Karath that the failure was Nord's?
 * 30) **Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * In the P&T, when talking about how he knows Basic, I think you could also say that he could comprehend the language(s) of those three aliens who confronted him in the bar.
 * 32) * "used a prototype energy shield of Verpine design for extra protection during battle." A link to the specific energy shield would be beneficial if it is stated. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:25, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:42, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Wasn't Carth a captain, not a commander? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:47, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **The Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide lists him as having been a commander during the Jedi Civil War, as this is the latest canon, it's what we have to go by.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:31, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***Ah. OK. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:56, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) Naru, Part Deux
 * 38) * "However, Nord was caught under falling debris from the hangar, allowing the group to kill Kang" Wasn't Kang already dead?
 * 39) **Yes, he was, thanks for pointing this out. Try it now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:02, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) *Also, there should probably be a mention of how the events in the hanger differ if Revan brought a sword or a blaster.
 * 41) **Huh?
 * 42) ***The scene plays out a bit differently depending on whether Revan brought a blaster or a sword into the hanger when he fights Nord and Kang. I don't remember if the change had anything specificly to do with how Calo reacted but its something to look into for a Bts note. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:42, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * "During his time as a slave, he learned to be ruthless and cold-hearted, so when he turned sixteen years of age, he butchered his slave masters and then murdered his parents." That he tracked down and killed his parents is only in the intro. Also a double "and"
 * 44) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *"Aboard his flagship Leviathan, Darth Malak came to the conclusion that the search for Shan was taking too long and ordered the Sith Admiral Saul Karath to have the Sith fleet destroy Taris in order to kill the Jedi. After Revan and his companions disabled the hangar bay's security systems in Kang's estate, they attempted to make it to the Ebon Hawk." It sortof jumps here from the order to their escape. Why are they trying to leave the planet? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:27, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) **Taken care of. Context provided in second paragraph.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:49, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ***Escape from what? The Sith? Why would they need the Ebon Hawk specifically? There should be a small mention that it possessed the codes neccisary to bypass the Sith blockade somewhere. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:42, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is not a formal objection because I don't really believe in image objections except in the most extreme circumstances, but do you think it could use more screenshots from KOTOR? Actual live-action shots from the game feel underrepresented somehow. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:29, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * You make a good point, but seeing as I don't know how to upload images from the game, I'm kinda in a bind. Maybe one of the other users could help? Plus, the live-action pics would have to not include Revan.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:13, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Full credit goes to Nayayen for uploading this image for the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:16, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * OK, in lieu of this, full credit goes to Nayayen for this image.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:34, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Gorc
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 07:24, 11 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: It is time for this stupid guy to join his FA brother...

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) I know how it feels when brother is better than you : ) --Kreivi Wolter 20:31, 5 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Vindication

 * Nominated by:  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 04:29, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'd like to thank Tommy9281 for helping to walk me through the process for my first FAN

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) Good job.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:30, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) A few, for you&hellip;
 * 2) * The infobox needs to be completely sourced.
 * 3) * I don't think whether or not Draay was a Jedi Guardian has any relevance to the commanders part of the infobox.
 * 4) * According to the KotOR Campaign Guide, these Covenant members were called "Covenanters". Try adding that.
 * 5) * You don't have to do put sources like this,, at every paragraph. Just do it as normal. The example should only be used for the infobox.
 * 6) * I would put Gryph's full surname in the article every time I mention him, not just "Gryph".
 * 7) * Unless the same paragraph mentions Krynda, calling Lucien "Draay" would bea good idea. Use the character's surnames, such as Carrick, throughout the article after you mention their full name for the first time.
 * 8) * If I'm not mistaken, the Jedi Council gave Carrick a new lightsaber. In #35, when he meets Jarael and Hierogryph after talking with the Council, he has this lightsaber.
 * 9) * The Citeweb template should be used for reference 13. Here's a list of the templates.
 * 10) *That's all I can think of, take care of these, and I'll run through the article again.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:40, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **I think I got them all  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 01:16, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Nayayen
 * 13) * There is some serious under-linking throughout. There should be links once in: the infobox, image captions, the intro & the rest of the article.
 * 14) ** Addressed
 * 15) ***You didn't really get most of it, I've got it for you though. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  09:38, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * In "Death of a visionary" there are some places that you need to check are NPOV.
 * 17) ** Addressed
 * 18) * In "Final confrontation" you need to mention that it was Lucien who "suddenly [threw them] far away" with the Force.
 * 19) ** Addressed
 * 20) * Bts: "Miller used this event to kill off . . . and send Zayne Carrick towards new adventures." This needs a source, JJM's blog should have what you need.
 * 21) ** Addressed
 * 22) * As does the paragraph mentioning ROTJ.
 * 23) ** Addressed  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 23:52, 14 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *I'll have some more when I come back from my Wookieevacation. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:03, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **I'm on my own Wookieecation at the moment, I'll address it when I return on Sunday.
 * 26) *Alrighty, I promised some more so here we go:
 * 27) *Link to Showdown in the Draay Estate in last part of "History".
 * 28) *In "The Insurrection", add the fact that Haazen could control the Vanjervalis chain because the Draay Trust bought the company.
 * 29) *Relate Xamar's death to the Rogue Moon prophesy; it came true for him.
 * 30) *There should be context on how the Gauntlet of Kressh worked; it forbid people to touch the wearer without their consent et cetera.
 * 31) *Last sentence of this section, I don't see a Force Push in the comic except when he pushed Hierogryph away.
 * 32) *"Death of a Visionary" now. You must add that Zayne, initially the one to find Krynda, told Hierogryph to find her.
 * 33) *The two didn't arrive at the same time. Hierogryph noticed the Jedi guards and droids killed/destroyed by Q'Anilla when they wouldn't let her see him.
 * 34) *"Hierogryph also recognized that..." This is the first time that you say he recognized something, reword this.
 * 35) *He realized that Krynda was probably alive because he recognized that the oubliette was like the oubliette on Jebble.
 * 36) *You should mention that it was Haazen's intervention of putting Krynda in the oubilette that meant she couldn't tell the First WatchCircle to stop on account of her vision of the Padawan Massacre.
 * 37) *In "Final Confrontation", "A sudden Force push knocked him off the balcony and near the foot of Barrison Draay's statue." Mention that Haazen was there already and what he was doing.
 * 38) *Surely File:SWKOTOR34.jpg or File:Lucienandzayne.jpg could be included somewhere around here, their duel is one of the main parts of the Vindication arc.
 * 39) *The duel part here seems a little too play-by-play for my liking. I mean, is the cloak slicing incident (cool as it looked in the comic) really needed in the article?
 * 40) *That should be all of it, enjoy. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:21, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Am I the only one of the opinion that Showdown in the Draay Estate should be merged into Vindication? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:14, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Tommy and I have had this discussion a lot. As he's mostly taken over that particular article, I'll leave it up to him  PointGiven  ( But...it was so artistically done... ) 00:31, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I see. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Ranulf Trommer

 * Nominated by: Havac 06:26, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: River of Chaos&hellip;likes to use exclamation points! So expect to see them&hellip;in the quotes! A lot!&hellip;and ellipses! Havac 06:26, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:27, 16 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * Before I read through it, there are a lot of redlinked articles that need to be created. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:34, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **There always are; I didn't feel like creating them last night. I'll get them today. Havac 16:36, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "After he recovered, approximately six months after the destruction of the Death Star, With his father, Ranulf Trommer and his father, Admiral Trommer, met Grand Moff Lynch Hauser, his father's patron." - I have no idea.
 * 5) **See if you have an idea now. Havac 01:38, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * You should probably mention under "Making the choice" how Admiral Trommer purposely bumped into Hauser, causing a blaster bolt meant for Ranulf to miss him.
 * 7) **Added. Havac 01:38, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Additionally, he has an entry in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:12, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Entry reviewed and added. Havac 01:46, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) One thing for you: the last paragraph of "among the rebels" is too pbp. Mainly, there's too much "they did this, they did that" in the first few sentences. Otherwise, nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:26, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *I've trimmed it down some and played around with it a little. Havac 18:31, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I believe you're misinterpreting the Omnibus date (6 months ABY) here. You seem to have applied it to the bulk of the story that happens after Trommer's recovery from the Battle of Aguarl III. However, in Empire 22: Alone Together, also set six months ABY, Leia is still negotiating over a Rebel base on Aguarl III with the planet's Prime Minister. This means River of Chaos actually begins six months after the battle of Yavin, only a few days or weeks after Alone Together. --<font color="orange" face="monotype corsiva">Borsk Fey'lya  <font color="black" face="monotype corsiva">Talk 16:55, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Huh. I'll make the changes. Havac 01:26, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Zam Wesell

 * Nominated by: &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:30, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It has been a while. Plus, I thought the Inqery didn't have enough to do lately. I'm kidding, of course. Guest nom for WP:NEGTC.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) This is the kind of article I like to see featured. Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:48, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Okey, Farlstendoiro, change back to your real face
 * 2) * Intro: As she has not used so many different names, I strongly suggest to add the known ones in the intro: Zam Wesell, sometimes known as Marby Welcus
 * 3) **I would have, except that she only used that name on one occasion in canon. This is no different than the individual times she impersonated Holowan or Fernooda. The one occasion is a quick detail that is not needed in the intro. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Intro: It was then revealed that a seedy underworld general... It was revealed, or Wesell discovered?
 * 5) **Revealed to Wesell&mdash;although, implied that such was an accident. She did not actively seek to discover it. Clarified in the text. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Intro: capitol-world of Coruscant. I think you mean capital, not capitol but I'm not sure (Used twice)
 * 7) **Ah, good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *** Still one reference to "the galactic capitol" in "Conspiracy exposed and defeated"
 * 9) ****I am incredibly embarrassed that I even made this mistake in the first place. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Bio/Early life: The first paragraph has three successive refnotes for [10]. Only the last one is needed; you don't need to source three successive sentences if all of them have the same exact source. This explains my point better than I do.
 * 11) **Maybe I'm incorrect, but I was taught on this site that partial sentences (such as the first and last of the three) should be cited separately. If I'm wrong, I'll gladly change it; I just thought it was supposed to be that way. Removed anyway. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Bio/Early life: Third level mastery of the Mabari martial arts. Is that very high? Is it the highest level, the lowest level...?
 * 13) **Sorry, no source says. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Bio/Encounter on Oovo IV: At the same time, Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett was also in pursuit of Fust. Why? Was he pursuing the same reward? If so, it should be added.
 * 15) **Added. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * Bio/Mission to Malastare: Fett retorted, "You're lucky I don't kill you. I'm allowing you to tag along because you might be useful.". Not a real objection, but a suggestion: Maybe you could avoid directly quoting characters in the text? Again, later: "I've got a bounty to hunt." "Take care of yourself, Jango… until next time." "It was just a job."
 * 17) **Again, maybe I am wrong, but I see nothing incorrect with it. Removed one, however, because it did not flow well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Bio/Mission to Malastare: Context for Montross in his first mention, not two sentences later.
 * 19) **Good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Bio/Intrigue on Tatooine: She then provided information about the Hutts which had originally been provided by Watto Confusing: Watto provided that information to whom?
 * 21) **Clarified. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Bio/Conspiracy exposed and defeated: Fett was knocked off the walkway by a Wookiee. Suggestion: Consider adding some context specifying that it was not some Wookiee bystander but one of Khorda's minions. Suggestion: Add instead some words in the previous paragraph to specify that Khorda was not alone at the power relay.
 * 23) **Did both. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Bio/First assassination attempt: You have previously talked about, and linked, Tyranus; now you mention and link Dooku. Maybe you should do something, perhaps contextualize. Maybe simply "Dooku, a previous employer of Fett".
 * 25) **Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Bio/First assassination attempt: The explosive device, however, also had a flaw. A technical hitch in the triggering mechanism also allowed the Senator to escape. I don't understand the sentence: The Senator escaped because she was not there. Maybe you mean that the hitch would have allowed her to escape even if she was in the bomb's range?
 * 27) **Unfortunately, that is the problem with two slightly conflicting sources. The fact files do not expand other than what I've put and any closer to the original text would be plagiarism. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Bio/First assassination attempt: The droid R2-D2, which was scanning Which or who?
 * 29) **Which. It is not a living thing. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***If you say so...
 * 31) * Powers/Shape-shifting: For Clawdites, however, this process was extremely painful and it took great skill to achieve.[11] Wesell, however, developed skills in her shape-shifting and became highly skilled at self-alteration. You used word "however" twice in successive sentences. Consider a synonym.
 * 32) **Good catch. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Powers/tactical skills: Yet, her most important skill was her shape-shifting ability Who says it was more important than other skills? NPOV?
 * 34) **That is cited directly to the Fact File. Off hand, I believe the exact wording is something like "most vital." &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Oh, evil Fact Files.
 * 36) * Equipment: Her obtaining the Koro-2 in a mining colony contrlled by the Mining Guild and a custom-made droid made by the Malkite Poisoners could be added to her biography.
 * 37) **Mentions made, although talking about the speeder does break up the flow substantially. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***Again a little fix and hope you don't mind.
 * 39) * Bts/Character development: Early drafts of the Episode Two scripts referred to Wesell as a "C.A.T.," a Corporate Alliance Trooper I strongly believe Corporate Alliance should be a link.
 * 40) **Done, but that does fall under . &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ***I thought about it myself, but decided against: It was too much assuming that you wouldn't mind such a change.
 * 42) * Bts: Theomet Danlé's background was created by "winstonvalleyjedi" through What's the Story?, heavily using Wessel. Maybe when you mention Danlé in BtS, you could add this detail.
 * 43) **Good find. Thank you. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * I've made some slight changes, removing repeated links and adding spaces and so under . Hope you don't mind. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:31, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **No problem at all. Thank you much. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 13:34, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Notice: One "capitol" pending. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:11, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****See above. Thanks again. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) Fett
 * 49) *Hey Fiolli, I'll begin with the first few sections of Zam's Early life.
 * 50) * "She was a member of the Clawdite species, who had become changelings due to genetic engineering gone awry centuries prior to her birth." For the "who had become changelings", specify who the "who" was.
 * 51) **Removed the comma because the who actually goes to the Clawdite species object rather than the subject. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Eventually, however, she was exposed." What was she exposed too?
 * 53) **Reworded. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Mission to Malastare-"At that moment, Wesell realized that Fett was working another, larger job and demanded that she be involved." Missing a word "and demanded that she be involved.". Also, while I did played Bounty Hunter, they conferred inside Fett's new ship. I'm not sure were they are in the article, quite confusing.
 * 55) **I honestly don't see anything missing. Plus, the first two sentences of that paragraph establish that they are in the ship. I changed a the to his, but it does establish the setting.
 * 56) ***I see.
 * 57) * I feel like I'm playing Bounty Hunter again while reading "Mission to Malastare". :) Perhaps lessen the pbp.
 * 58) **Rewrote the entire section. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * Mission to Malastare-"By nightfall, Fett still had not climbed the cliff." Merging this sentence with the previous will make it flow better.
 * 60) **See above. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * MtM-"Connecting statements by Montross about Komari Vosa to his pursuits of Sebolto, she surmised that he was after the former-Jedi–turned–cult-leader of the Bando Gora via private invitation." For the "former-Jedi–turned–cult-leader", Vosa left the order and became Dooku's Dark Jedi apprentice. Perhaps simplify/shorten that meaning.
 * 62) **See above. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * End of the Hunt-"The Mandalorian proceeded to the moon of and was immediately attacked by Bando Gora slaves." Missing a word after "moon of"
 * 64) **Whoops. Fixed. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * I'm seeing linking within the captions of the images. While you linked the subjects in her bio, do you think it's relevant that you also linked them in the captions?
 * 66) **I thought it was, but I plan to deal specifically with the images once the article is more worked through by the Inq. Things can always change dramatically. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *I'll continue with "Infant of Shaa incident (27 BBY)". Interesting read so far Fiolli. I'm surprised to see other Wookieepedians, other than myself, are interested in Zam/Jango :P  JangFett  Talk 18:39, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Somehow Scum and Villainy (sourcebook) was forgotten. Will add within a couple days. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:51, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *Added information. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:41, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I am aware that one&mdash;and possibly two&mdash;images are in violation of WP:I at the moment because of blanked speech bubbles. I am working on having this rectified as quickly as possible. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:34, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Is there a reason almost every image is on the right side? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:26, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, for uniformity and aesthetic appearance since I placed the noncaptioned images under the relationship heading in a similar manner as key characters in OOU articles. There is no set rule that all have to be in alternating sides, so encyclopedic uniformity was preferred to having images dancing around the page from side to side which, in the case of this article, looked quite poor. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:20, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * You can still alternate the images and then have the two noncaptioned ones on the one side. Personally, I think having them all on the one side doesn't look great aesthetically, and might distract readers' attentions because it's not what they're used to seeing. Either way, I think it looks odd. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:29, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes it does. It just doesn't suit that they are all in the same side.--Kreivi Wolter 12:11, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Many thanks to for taking care of the two images in question. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:08, 22 July 2009 (UTC)


 * I added an update tag for you. There's some interesting info consering her romance with another Clawdite and her daughter in the Scum and Villainy (sourcebook), pages 113-114.  Mauser  Comlink 15:45, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Whorm Loathsom

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Alongside Mar Tuuk, Lok Durd, and Unidentified Neimoidian captain, he should be the last of the "organic" Separatist officers in TCW.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Despite the fact that you stole from Jedipedia. :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:29, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) He stole from Jedipedia? The nerve! :P  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 18:36, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) You always forget Nuvo. Poor guy. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:34, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *He was a mad doctor, not a war officer. :P  CC7567  (talk) 01:05, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **That doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings. But alas, you're right. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 02:53, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) We dont really "steal" things here in Wookiepedia, we rather "borrow" them.--Kreivi Wolter 05:24, 21 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * "The Kerkoiden male Whorm Loathsom reigned from the planet of Kerkoidia," I don't think "reigned" is appropriate here.
 * 3) **Ugh, addressed.
 * 4) *Other than that, good work.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:44, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 02:51, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 7) * "Via a massive planet-wide holotransmission, the Kerkoiden general ordered the planet's Christophsian inhabitants of the planet to submit to Confederate rule." - "planet's Christophsian inhabitants of the planet"?
 * 8) **BAH. That was just...stupid. Fixed.
 * 9) *That's all. I would like to note that I'm impressed that you were able to find that piece of Neimoidian concept art. That's a great addition to the BTS. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 16:53, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **I owe it to Jedipedia. :P  CC7567  (talk) 17:28, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) Which Core
 * 12) * Not technically an objection, I'm just curious: Obi-Wan flatters the good general that he's a legend throughout the Inner Core. In article, however, it is said that he was legend throughout the Core Worlds. Explanation?
 * 13) **There isn't any other "Core" in the galaxy, and "Inner Core" is obviously just another name for it. Also, if this "technically isn't an objection", then it shouldn't be here.  CC7567  (talk) 17:59, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Whooops! Sry, my mistake. It belonged to the Comments-section, not there. -_- Kreivi Wolter 18:20, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Stop right there!
 * 16) * "Loathsom's appearance is likely based off of a concept art image for a Neimoidian that was drawn by Doug Chiang and published in Star Wars: The Making of Episode I: The Phantom Menace and Star Wars: Episode I Insider's Guide."
 * 17) *"Concept art for a Neimoidian that Loathsom was likely based on"
 * 18) *Let's change this wording, make the statements themselves not speculation, but merely drawing the reader's attention to something that they can draw their own conclusions about. Graestan ( Talk ) 14:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Addressed; thanks, Graestan.  CC7567  (talk) 01:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Gloom Walkers

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:27, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another part of FloydProject: Path of Destruction.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:05, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 18:48, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:20, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Redlink in the intro.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:53, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Killed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 20:51, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Few more things:
 * 4) * "reserved for important and difficult missions due to a high success rate." I'd mention then about Des being a beast, and the key to their success, then talking about the battles they fought in.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "Eventually, Dessel would become Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Bane". Unneeded in the intro, IMO.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * You didn’t source two of your quotes. :P
 * 9) **BAH. Addressed.
 * 10) * Bit of context on the Brotherhood, at least in the body.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *Good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:35, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:40, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Pasta&hellip;
 * 15) *This one is pretty nicely done. A couple minor concerns:
 * 16) ** (1) Tense. Please go through and double check the use of the present conditional. Some of those phrases need to be in the past tense.
 * 17) ***Addressed.
 * 18) ** (2) Runons or near-runons. Again, there are a few sentences that are too compound. Not outright violations, at least, but sentences that could be split for better quality of work. Double check these when the tense is being fixed. Here are a few examples:
 * 19) ***"Commanded by Lieutenant Ulabore, the Gloom Walkers&hellip;"
 * 20) ****Addressed.
 * 21) *** "Over that next year, the Gloom Walkers&hellip;" (First of two. One is fine, but both juxtaposed reads longwindedly)
 * 22) ****Addressed.
 * 23) *** "Alone and surrounded by enemies, Lieutenant Ulabore panicked, and had no idea what to do to keep his unit alive without direct orders." (Comma usage also)
 * 24) ****Addressed.
 * 25) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:08, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:20, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) Tis currently has an unsourced quote. --Eyrezer 23:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) Attack of the Clone
 * 29) *"After a day of savage fighting that had left many dead on both sides, they retreated to opposite ends of the battlefield to regroup." Who, specifically, is "they"? It's unclear.
 * 30) *Please vary one of the "after"s in "Adanar".
 * 31) *Please watch linking. Other than that, nice job.  CC7567  (talk) 02:09, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Kiros
> QuiGonJinn (Talk) 12:25, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nominated by: <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Nomination comments: None

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:21, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 08:03, 23 July 2009 (UTC) Comments
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * "The Republic forces—led by High Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi General Anakin Skywalker—fought through the capital, only to discover that the whole planet's population had mysteriously disappeared." I don't think you need "mysteriously" here, since you already say what happened.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * " With Kiros liberated, the Jedi set off to gain more intelligence from Zygerrian slavers who often passed through the remains of the Shi'kar homeworld." Is the fact that the Zygerrian slavers hung out around the Shi'kar homeworld really notable enough for the intro? It seems rather random.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "Nineteen planet rotations later," Why do you word it like this instead of "Nineteen days"?
 * 7) **Because that's what the comic says.
 * 8) * Are CC-7567 and CC-2224's nicknames really necessary?
 * 9) **CC-2224's, maybe not. But 7567 plays a larger role in the battle, and as such, he is mentioned more. I just don't feel like it to address him by his designation every time.
 * 10) * "Kenobi, however, squashed the projector with the Force" Squashed is rather colloquial.
 * 11) **Changed to "crushed".
 * 12) * "Ugg fell a long road from his headquarters" A long road?
 * 13) **Addressed
 * 14) *Good job.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:02, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you for review. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Castin Donn

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 18:30, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First FA. And the first Wraith on my list.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:23, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good show. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:31, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) And shot him in the throat. --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 23:31, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Last paragraph in Raids on Halmad is unsourced.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * You don't need to add periods on your quote attributions.
 * 5) **Noted. Fixed.
 * 6) * "Castin Donn was a Human male from Coruscant who was as a member of the New Republic commando group Wraith Squadron." Was as?
 * 7) **Fixed. I must have been really tired to miss that.
 * 8) * "Donn was brought in to replace the Wraith's former slicer, Eurrsk Thri'ag. Donn joined the Wraiths sometime in late 7 ABY during the New Republic's campaign against Warlord Zsinj." These sentences should be merged together, since they're both about Donn joining the Wraiths.
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) * "It was just one of the many blemishes on his service record." Any info on any of the others?
 * 11) **Added.
 * 12) * Mention in the bio that he joins in 7 ABY.
 * 13) **Fixed.
 * 14) * Add some context on Wraith Squadron's campaigns against Zsinj.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * Quote in Raids on Halmad sections looks to be incomplete.
 * 17) **Added.
 * 18) * " When the Wraith's cover was blown, Donn was responsible for providing an escape distraction" How was the Wraiths' cover blown?
 * 19) **Added.
 * 20) *<S>I see you use the word "forge" a lot. Vary it up.
 * 21) **Changed.
 * 22) * Give info on the Wraiths' mission in Raids on Halmad where Castin was left behind on Hawk-bat base.
 * 23) **Added.
 * 24) * "Donn freed the experimented Talz Zsinj's scientists were working on before making his escape." Experimented? Reword.
 * 25) **Done.
 * 26) * Give info on Ton Phanan's death.
 * 27) **Added.
 * 28) *<S>Is Hohass Ekwesh's nickname really necessary?
 * 29) **Removed.
 * 30) * "Donn was also a capable pilot, managing to earn a high enough score to qualify for Antilles's squadron. Though he sorely lacked experience as shown by Antilles's decision to assign him as Wraith Two."Merge these sentences together.
 * 31) **Done.
 * 32) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:33, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review, I'll get back on the other two objections.--ToRsO bOy 07:06, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Addressed all points.--ToRsO bOy 21:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 36) * Might be a good idea to mention his xenophobia a little earlier in the bio.
 * 37) **Added.
 * 38) * IIRC, the Wraiths weren't told to form a pirate group. They came up with that idea on their own. Please clarify.
 * 39) **Yes but Ackbar was the one who gave the go signal. Anyway, revised. I dunno where I got the High Command from. lol
 * 40) * More context on Antilles on first mention, i.e specify he's Wraith Leader.
 * 41) **Added.
 * 42) * Contextify and link Loran on first mention.
 * 43) **Done.
 * 44) * I believe Allston refers to it as "Narra," not "the Narra." Please check and rectify if that's the case.
 * 45) **It's Narra. Fixed.
 * 46) * Correct grammar needed for the section titles; I see missing italics and improper capitalization.
 * 47) **Fixed.
 * 48) * Might be good to point out that Barderia was bound for Halmad, else the bit about return journey makes little sense.
 * 49) **Added.
 * 50) * " promise to never do anything on his own" I don't think that was exactly what Loran made him promise.
 * 51) **Do or do not, there is no try. :D It was try, not do. Changed.
 * 52) * You mention that Phanan died on Halmad way after the fact. Either remove the mention or talk about it when it happened.
 * 53) **Added it on the end part of the Raids on Halmad section.
 * 54) * " nearly killed herself if not for the intervention of Loran." Kinda sticky wording
 * 55) **Fixed.
 * 56) * You refer to Ekwesh as "Runt" without having established him as such. The preferred usage is the surname anyway, not the nickname.
 * 57) **Fixed.
 * 58) * " Donn exhibited traits typical of to his profession." Kinda sticky wording.
 * 59) **Removed the "of".
 * ", and a fistfight with a Sullustan navigator. " Seems like this could flow better.
 * 1) **Fixed.
 * 2) * P&T should mention his motivations for joining the New Republic.
 * 3) **It doesn't say exactly why he joined the New Republic, though I added his reasons for joinng the Wraiths.
 * 4) * Is it Victory Base or Victory base? I think it's the former; check your talents and abilities section.
 * 5) **Changed.
 * 6) *Note: I could have fixed some of these myself, but some lessons are better learned first-hand as part of getting used to the FAN process. ;-)
 * 7) **But of course, I would expect nothing less. Much thanks for the review.--ToRsO bOy 21:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Harrar
 * 10) * "Shortly after escaping from Zsinj's ambush, Donn received a message from Zsinj through one of the forged accounts he sliced into Halmad's planetary defense satellite network." I don't understand the second half of this.
 * 11) **Reworded.
 * 12) * "and Donn was excluded due to his criminal record on Coruscant, one that Donn tried to erase illegally but to no avail." When does he try to erase the record? If it happens before Antilles' envoy selection process then you should include it earlier in the first section of the bio, for chronology's sake.
 * 13) **Added info on first part of bio.
 * 14) * "Unable to contain his frustration, Donn reacted to Antilles's rejection with a rude outburst." Rude is POV, even if it is clearly meant to be read as rude.
 * 15) **Reworded.
 * 16) * "While the envoy team was having dinner with Zsinj, the warlord was informed of the captured saboteur [...] Passik further noted that the way the stormtroopers carried Donn's body suggested that they were hauling a dead body, not a person liable to wake up." &mdash; big problem with this whole paragraph here, TB. You're relating events as they are told to us in the novel, but this is Donn's biography. Instead, you need to infer what happens behind the scenes. I.e. Castin is killed by shots to the chest and his body is taken and fitted with a prosthetic chest. It's then taken before the envoy party as a test, but Passik guesses at the deception and shoot's Castin's corpse, allowing the envoy team to leave. See what I mean?
 * 17) **I understand, but the problem is the novel didn't state whether or not Donn was already dead when he was hauled to the dinner. All we have is Dia's speculation at best, and Zsinj didn't even confirm that Donn was indeed dead already. I wasn't sure if it'll be okay treading through speculation. Anyway, I changed it. Tell me if its better than the previous one.
 * 18) ***No no, this is much better. If Allston wanted us to consider whether Donn had actually been alive I think he would have made more of a deal with the ambiguity&mdash;the scene's more about Dia I think. Plus the line Passik says about a new chestplate being fitted "to replace the one that was burned through when he was killed" does suggest he was finished off by shots to the chest which were subsequently concealed.
 * 19) * Is there a better quotation for the Legacy section which deals with Donn's more valuable legacy of the destruction of the Iron Fist? I can deal with the Passik quotation but I feel Donn's importance to the war effort overall is more important historically.
 * 20) **Changed.
 * 21) *Nice stuff dude, great for your first effort. Watch out for split infinitives such as "to never try". Also, you placed a semi-colon before "while" twice, which I don't think is proper usage. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:23, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **I appreciate the comments, as well as the review. =)--ToRsO bOy 22:40, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Nihilus

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Meh, a misunderstanding killed it, but it'll make a comeback here (I hope).

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * In the intro, give context on the Mass Shadow Generator and its effect on Malachor V.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "The experience of the mass shadows made him "hunger" for Force energy, and the affliction began to ravage his body." Affliction? If its his hunger for Force energy, connect the two.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "Sion beat Traya, with Nihilus right behind him, " Reword. IIRC, Sion and Nihilus teamed up to defeat Traya, this makes it sound like Sion did all the work.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * In the intro state that the Exile was a Jedi.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * Mention how Nihilus sent Visas to find the Exile in the intro.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Give more info on how the Battle of Telos IV came about (Traya's trap, etc.) in the intro.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "During the final battle of the war, which taking place on the planet Malachor V," Which taking place?
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Context on Revan and Malak.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * " Nihilus, on the planet, however survived and in his grief over his losses during the war, the man assumed a dark persona there," Reword. Doesn't flow well.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * "He survived the activation of the superweapon but became ill." Repetitive, as you already mention that he survived.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) *<S>Mention that the Trayus Academy was on Malachor.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) *Watch your linking. Articles are to be linked once in the intro and once in the bio.
 * 25) **Addressed NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:06, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Mention how Sion and Nihilus began the First Jedi Purge in the bio.
 * 27) **Addressed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 09:38, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Clarify why Atris would lure Nihilus to Katarr.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * "Nihilus felt a disturbance in the Force that only his apprentice could identify. As a result, Marr was sent to defeat the Exile and bring her before Nihilus so that he could consume her." Connect the disturbance in the Force with the Exile.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * "A member of the Jedi Exile's team, was put in charge of an expedition through the jungle, aimed at the eradicating the Sith from it." Doesn't flow well. Reword.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) *<S>"After battling their way inside the tomb, the ceremony was interrupted by the strike team" What ceremony?
 * 35) **Addressed.
 * 36) * "The outcome of the proceedings is unknown." Remove.
 * 37) **Addressed.
 * 38) * Contextify Tobin.
 * 39) **Addressed.
 * 40) *"The Exile proceeded into the Core and found Traya meditating. She revealed her plans to the Exile" Combine these two sentences.
 * 41) **Addressed.
 * 42) *Is the long summary of Kreia and the Exile's duel really necessary?
 * 43) **I don't find it that long, just two or three sentences, and the contextification of the deaths of both Traya and Sion were neccisary.
 * 44) ***Just to butt in here quickly, those first two paragraphs of the legacy section are way too detailed and unrelated to Nihilus. All we really need to know is that Sion and Traya were killed on Malachor V, not that the Exile was attacked by the students or that Traya got her hand cut off or that Sion kept regenerating. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:00, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ****They are related to Nihilus as they are about the fall of the Sith Triumvirate and they were to context why, when there were two other dark lords, that the Sith would have carried on thanks to an unknown darth. I did cut a lot from the Traya duel because all that was needed was that she was defeated however I think that saying how Sion died, when it was already stated that he had survived dying before by using his will to live was important and the part about her being attacked in the halls was just a short preface to that. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:25, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Exactly.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:10, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * Context required on Krayt.
 * 48) **Addressed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) *Context on Jekk'Jekk Tarr and Dessicus.
 * 50) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:49, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:08, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) The Pasta Bowl Strikes Back&hellip;
 * 53) *A couple of things from a cursory look:
 * 54) **The first part of the bio mentions Nihilus by that name, but that only adopted after being taken in by Kreia. Please address this at the beginning of the bio if you decide that the first two paragraphs need to have this name in it. Using Nihilus at this point, other than an initial mention borders on unencyclopedic.
 * 55) ***I had to fall back on such monikers as "the man," taking into account whether another male had just been mentioned, to correct this. I hope that's OK. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:59, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) **There are many sentences in the first couple sections of the bio that need to be split apart. Compound sentences are nice at times, but three or more sentences should not be made from one.
 * 57) ***Fixed, though it reads a bit choppy now IMO, what do you think? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:59, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) **Double check my other other list of objections that were left on the GAN page when this was there. After browsing through, it seems that not all of these were met. Fair warning, I spent a lot of time going through the article; so, I am not going to let those objections slide.
 * 59) ***I completely understand. I've looked over the list of objections again and fixed the outstanding objections, as well as others that were put on hold. Don't hesitate to tell me if I've missed any of them and thank you for the cursory look. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:01, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) **More details to follow.&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:33, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Comments
 * Please try to keep in mind that I'll be on and off for the next while. I'll get objections as soon as possible on this and the following noms.

Gelesi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Just because.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:12, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Infobox not fully sourced.
 * 3) **Fixed
 * 4) * In the intro: Why was the Exile in a rush to leave the planet?
 * 5) **Fixed
 * 6) ***Don't just remove it, mention why. She was escaping attacks by Vaklu's troops and turrets.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Alright, fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *<S>"He was promoted to captain in the Onderonian military—the youngest of three, together with Bostuco and Riiken" The three what?
 * 9) **Reworded
 * 10) * Why would the Onderon military frame the Ebon Hawk for starting the conflict?
 * 11) **Added
 * 12) * Mention what year this all takes place in.
 * 13) **Added
 * 14) * Bio and P&T quotes?
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * "At the request of a Vaklu supporter named Anda, the Exile can remove the three captains of the Guard in order to weaken the Royalist military in preparation for the attack on the Royal Palace. Anda is willing to pay the Exile 2500 credits for each one she removes" Place this somewhere else in the BtS.
 * 17) **I'm not sure what you mean, where else could I put it?
 * 18) ***I would switch it with the "Siding with Talia is the canonical path" one.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:45, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:15, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:41, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is perhaps the most shaky of these noms, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:13, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  The Flash  {talk} 17:19, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Kreivi Wolter 13:52, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * OK. First of all, in the intro provide more context on the Clone Wars, and how Palpatine branded the Jedi as traitors.
 * 3) **Added.
 * 4) * Context on Windu.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) ***Still none in the intro.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:50, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Ah. Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:09, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * State how Vader was a Jedi in the intro,
 * 9) **Added.
 * 10) * IIRC, Operation: Knightfall wasn't really part of Order 66. It took part after its issuance, and is more of a full-on assault on the Jedi Temple.
 * 11) **You are correct, and the article reflects that.
 * 12) ***I was commenting on the phrase "initiating a massacre under the authority of Order 66", which reflects the exact opposite.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:50, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Whoops, fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 07:09, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Context on the duel between Windu and Sidious and how it started.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * More context on Skywalker and Sidious' relationship, how Sidious was trying to turn Skywalker to the dark side.
 * 17) **Added.
 * 18) * State that Windu actually died. You just say that his arm was cut off.
 * 19) **Added.
 * 20) * I think the Prelude section should be expanded in general.
 * 21) **Done. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:05, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Marching silently to the gates of the Temple with a legion of elite clones," Just say that its the 501st Legion.
 * 23) **Done
 * 24) * The first two paragraphs in "The battle" should really be merged into the first subsection.
 * 25) **I'm not so sure. I think that the actual operation began when he killed Jurokk and marched up the steps with the clones. Also, the transition from extrapolating Order 66 to them marching up the steps if I changed it would be awkward no matter how I could write it. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:37, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * "Using a piece to break down the door into a study hall," A piece of what?
 * 27) **The statue. Fixed.
 * 28) * Quote for Hunting the masters and children?
 * 29) **Added.
 * 30) * Context on the Special Operations Brigade.
 * 31) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 10:59, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * Give more context on the Republic's transition to the Empire, since you call Palpatine the Emperor in Aftermath without any explanation.
 * 33) **Added.
 * 34) * Mention that Amidala was pregnant before.
 * 35) **Added.
 * 36) * Watch your linking.
 * 37) **I've combed the article over and fixed it.
 * 38) * The Lego Star Wars game does not show Anakin and the 501st marching on the Temple, it only shows Obi-Wan and Yoda returning to the Temple.
 * 39) **Fixed. It appeared breifly in a hologram.
 * 40) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:08, 24 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added FAnom. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:51, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Excellent article and I've supported it, but are they're any more sources/appearance? It seems a bit lacking for such an influential part in Jedi history.  The Flash  {talk} 17:19, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I've looked and I find it very strange that the event hasn't been mentioned in more material. Any mention of this time period is usually about the general fall of the Jedi, the GJP, than rather Ani storming through the Temple. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:45, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Darth Vectivus

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:47, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Not as badass as some other Darths, but just as important.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:15, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:41, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Quotes for Life or Legacy?
 * 3) **Added
 * 4) ***Quotes for the two subsections as well.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:55, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:36, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * The sections detailing the events of Betrayal don't flow well.
 * 7) **It's better now.
 * 8) * Lots of short, choppy sentences that need to be merged together.
 * 9) **How's this? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 22:56, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The One Sith Order arrived at the asteroid, intent on destroying Vectivus's asteroid, and the dark side powers it contained, so that it would not fall into the hands of the Jedi and Galactic Alliance forces. " Asteroid is repetitive.
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * Quote for P&T?
 * 13) **Added.
 * 14) * Quote for P&A? I'm sure you could find some quotes in Betrayal.
 * 15) **Added
 * 16) * Expand the BtS. Give some info on Darth Vectivus' appearances in Star Wars canon.
 * 17) **Expanded. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:10, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:23, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Cav:
 * 20) * There is no mention of any type of Sith apprenticeship in the intro. A little mention should be added before the revelation that he took a Sith name.
 * 21) **Added.
 * 22) * After the dark side energies slowly lead to his mining crews going insane, force-sensitives among the crews manifesting odd abilities, and strange sights through the mines. You appear to be missing the end of this sentence - you say "after" these things happened, but give no indication as to what happened after listing the examples.
 * 23) **Fixed.
 * 24) * Ensuring that the mine would be quietly forgotten about, while other operations in the asteroid field continued; after learning all there was to learn from the place, the man took the name Darth Vectivus, departed, and began to quietly gather information of Sith lore through peaceful means. This makes little sense as it is, seeming like two unrelated sentences meshed together. Please rewrite, as well as expanding on how he ensured the mine was forgotten about.
 * 25) *Fixed. How he did it is never revealed.
 * 26) * Check your name usage - surnames should be used instead of first names. I see a few Nelani, Ben, and Jacens in place of Dinn, Skywalker, and Solo.
 * 27) **Fixed.
 * 28) * Darth Vectivus's holocron containing his words on business ethic and a detailed explaination of the the use of his Force Phantom techniques later came into the possession of the One Sith, a growing new order of Sith following the Rule of One, who gave it to Alema Rar, a Twi'lek Dark Jedi, when she visited their base. Run on sentence. Please break up.
 * 29) * The One Sith did not approve of Lumiya's plan to turn Jacen Solo to the dark side so they ordered Alema to deliver the holocron to Solo, newly christened Darth Caedus. What was newly christened as Caedus? Solo or the plan to turn him? Its a little unclear.
 * 30) **How's this?
 * 31) * Mention of the Force phantoms power and Vectivus' mastery of it needs to be mentioned in the Life section before using it in the Legacy section. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:04, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) **Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:06, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Sorry, but no. He was practically abandoned as a motivator after Lumiya and Alema died and I've personally word searched all of LOTF for indirect mentions of him but could find nothing aside from those appearances. He's also still a pretty new character when you look at the amount of LOTF era material and sourcebooks pertanent to his line of work released since his inception, so I've found nothing else unfortunately.

Fil

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 23:26, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with my other "Lair of Grievous" clone troopers.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 6)
Support
 * 1) --Clone Commander Lee 17:05, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:16, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:21, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:44, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Good job, remember what we discussed. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 15:52, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Graestan ( Talk ) 15:33, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Personality and traits comes before Armor and equipment.
 * 3) **CC-7567 lied :P Addressed
 * 4) * "After he revealed a trap on Fil and the Jedi," Is this the trap that made them believe that Gunray was on Vassek? Because if its Gor, it doesn't flow well.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * Saying that the mission took place on the third moon of Vassek contradicts the intro, which just says it was on Vassek the planet.
 * 7) **Addressed. I did this article before it was revealed to be the "Third moon" in Decoded.
 * 8) * In the bio tell why the clones thought Gunray was on the third moon of Vassek&mdash; it just says there was a plot and the next sentence says Gunray wasn't actually on the moon.
 * 9) **Addressed
 * 10) * " Both Fil and Vebb enthusiastically took out a weapon that would do the proper job." What's the proper job? Clarify.
 * 11) **Addressed
 * 12) * Underlinking in the bio, especially the Death section.
 * 13) **Linked numerous of subjects.
 * 14) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 06:36, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks for the review Floyd :)
 * 16) Clone Commander Lee
 * 17) * He was killed on the third moon of Vassek not on Vassek itself.
 * 18) **Addresed
 * 19) * You don't mention that they were contacted of Grievous approaching in his starfighter by Niner, Bel and R6-H5.
 * 20) **They contacted Fisto, not Fil.
 * 21) * P&t needs a little eypansion
 * 22) **I think it's fine.
 * 23) *Otherwise very nice. --Clone Commander Lee 06:49, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks for the review Lee :)
 * 25) ***Anytime, Jang. --Clone Commander Lee 17:05, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) For now:
 * 27) * Way, way too play-by-play.
 * 28) **I removed a lot of unnecessary details that aren't related to Fil, and simple minor details that are around Grievous' poi. If I removed too much, I can readd the deleted information back.
 * 29) * Needs a more thorough copyedit and linking job than I have the energy to perform as a reviewer.
 * 30) **I went back and cleaned the article up.
 * 31) * Graestan ( Talk ) 02:16, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) Cav:
 * 33) * Section - "Mission to Vassek": There needs to be more explanation as to why Gunray was being hunted. Why was he in a stolen Republic frigate? Why were Unduli and Tano involved? Also, you mention the laying of a trap for the Jedi and troopers in the article intro, but make no mention of it here. There should be no info exclusive to the intro.
 * 34) **Yes, I removed that part but I readded it and added more context to Unduli and Tano, and the frigate.
 * 35) * Section - "Mission to Vassek": How did Fil know that Grievous would be returning soon? Was there any indication of an imminent return or was it a gut feeling?
 * 36) **Addressed
 * 37) * Section - "Death": More set up is needed at the start of the section. Why did they choose to ambush Grievous in the hangar? How did they know where he would be?
 * 38) **In the episode, that's not shown. After Grievous landed, he called out for his guards and Gor and then the group suddenly attacked.
 * 39) * Section - "Death": Two clone troopers in Fil's squad were killed by Grievous, leaving only Fil and one last clone trooper. This sentence is a little out of place, chronologically, since Grievous has fled by this point. Either more it earlier in the section, or rewrite it to sound more like a post-battle casualty report, eg: "The battle with Grievous had resulted in the loss of two clone troopers, leaving only Fil and one other trooper" or something similar.
 * 40) **Addressed, and that sounds much better.
 * 41) * Section - "Death": What happened to the other clone trooper who fell into the incinerator pit?
 * 42) **Addressed
 * 43) * Personality and traits section needs sourcing.
 * 44) **Addressed
 * 45) * You state that Fil had Jaig Eyes on his armor - doesn't this mean he was awarded them for acts of bravery? Should this be mentioned in the P&T?
 * 46) **That statement was a speculation, he probably did not have Jaig eyes because it is not mentioned anywhere. Removed.
 * 47) * The article for the Mission to the third moon of Vassek lists several other sources that the mission appeared in; have these been checked for reference to Fil as well? - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 08:17, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) **Yes, he was not shown anywhere and his first mentioned was in the CSWE. Thanks for the review Cav :)  JangFett  Talk 16:11, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) Pasta Bowl!
 * 50) * "&hellip;the cyborg general managed to flee to the secret command&hellip;" Avoid "managed," especially in the introduction unless he was managing a business or managing a group of people, etc.
 * 51) **Addressed
 * 52) *The second paragraph of the introduction is very convoluted. Too much being thrown in at once in the second sentence, especially. Please reword this.
 * 53) **Addressed. Any better?
 * 54) ***Better, but&hellip; The end of the first paragraph says he arrived the beginning of the second says he fled. What happened in between which caused him to flee? There is a disconnect on this. Also, the detail about the traps did not need to be removed. Still include what the traps were, if they are relevant&mdash;and they appear to be&mdash;because the vagueness sets up perpetual lack of clarity.
 * 55) ****Ah, readded the detail about the traps back and fixed the first issue about Grievous arriving and then fleeing.
 * 56) * "Fil was caught by the beast when it used its tail to grab onto the clone commander." Simplify the wording of this.
 * 57) **Addressed
 * 58) ***For the record, with is better than by when talking about the tail. I changed it accordingly.
 * 59) * Did the mission fail or was it a success? One quick statement at the end of the second paragraph would be useful.
 * 60) **Fil died long before the mission ended, so it would be irrelevant to mention it.
 * 61) ***I do think a one sentence mention is in order considering it is part of his legacy, in a strange way&mdash;especially because of Vebb.
 * 62) ****Addressed. Sounds interesting to add information after Fil's death.
 * 63) *****Just a blurb to tie up loose ends.
 * 64) * "Fil, like all clone troopers, was one of the many clones of the bounty hunter Jango Fett." Something contextually seems missing, but adding too much would be detrimental. Consider beefing up the context of Jango Fett a touch.
 * 65) **Bah, someone removed "Mandalorian". Addressed :)
 * 66) ***Heh. Amazing what one word does.
 * 67) * "The group awaited the arrival of Vebb's former Jedi Master, Kit Fisto, who joined Vebb and his men to capture Trade Federation Viceroy Nute Gunray." This statement reads very confusingly, especially in light of the prior.
 * 68) **Addressed
 * 69) * "Jedi Master Luminara Unduli and Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano, who held Gunray captive aboard Unduli's Venator-class Star Destroyer Tranquility, told Fisto that they had tracked a stolen Republic frigate&mdash;which Gunray had used to escape the Tranquility&mdash;to the Vassek system." This is a runon and is confusing, as well.
 * 70) **Addressed
 * 71) * "When Fisto arrived&hellip;" I thought he was already there.
 * 72) **Opps. Addressed
 * 73) * "After Fisto pressed a stone that opened the door to the castle, the group moved into the darkness." Unnecessary detailed play-by-play. I know this falls under, but I point it out to let you know this is probably what Graestan meant above. In fact, the entire paragraph could be trimmed slightly.
 * 74) **Yeah, it is too pbp. Fixed.
 * 75) ***Okay, so the sentence is removed, but the entire paragraph still could be tweaked. Also, be aware that a ref tag was removed during the removal of the sentence. Make sure that was intentional.
 * 76) ****Ref added back in and added a little more the beginning of the paragraph.
 * 77) * I see nothing in the text about Vebb's species type. That should be added somewhere as it is not commonplace knowledge.
 * 78) **Addressed
 * 79) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:46, 15 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) **Thanks for the review Fiolli :)
 * 81) Attack of the Clone
 * 82) * "Fil carried and used DC-17 hand blasters, which were favored among higher ranking clone officers": there is no way you can infer that from the episode. Either reference this properly or take it out, as it's unnecessary trivia.
 * 83) *More to come in a bit.  CC7567  (talk) 18:34, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) **Yeah, it's unnecessary trivia. Removed.  JangFett  Talk 19:07, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) *"After Grievous revealed a molten incinerator pit trap to Fil and the Jedi": "revealed" does not seem like the right word choice.
 * 86) *Please do something about the "Mission to Vassek" header so that it's factually correct.
 * 87) *Fact tag in the article.
 * 88) *In the bio, you need to say something about Vebb and Fil's planned "entrance" into the castle.
 * 89) *"After Gunray activated a homing beacon near his chair": ...please check this. I have no idea where you're getting this from, and unless you have a source that explicitly states so (that is not the episode, which is what you referenced it to), it's not a homing beacon.
 * 90) *Please say something about Dooku and how he lured the Jedi and clones there to test Grievous. It's a rather important element that's missing from the article; just because Dooku was talking only to the Jedi doesn't mean that it wasn't related to Fil.
 * 91) *Have you checked both TCW Visual Guides for information?
 * 92) *Please be careful about what info you attribute to your sources. In no way in the slightest is his hair and eye color attributable to the clone trooper Databank entry. I'll continue this with "Death" later.  CC7567  (talk) 21:26, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) *First paragraph of "Death" is still rather play-by-play.
 * 94) *"which was under Fil who was outside the command center." Well, yes, anyone who is not inside the command center is definitely outside of it, but I fail to see how this is relevant. This is also choppy. Please reword it.
 * 95) *Please vary word choice, specifically "managed".
 * 96) *Kindly provide either a source or your reasoning that Gor was "frightened" by Fisto.
 * 97) *"He showed respect to his troopers and pride with his leading abilities on the mission to the third moon of Vassek in 22 BBY." Please back this up with examples; I see this as speculation otherwise.
 * 98) *"Known to wear a kama and pauldron": some context on both, please. Also, I would highly recommend that you rephrase "known"; the problem is that the way you use it cannot clarify who it's "known" to.
 * 99) *"He was determined to destroy the front door of Grievous's lair with the detonator, but Fisto denied his request to use it." This should be in the P&T or the bio or both, but not in the P&A.
 * 100) * You're missing information from "Lair of Grievous" Decoded on how he was a weapons expert; I'm quite sure that the episode said that. If not, I hope you can clarify this yourself since it's not available online anymore.  CC7567  (talk) 07:35, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Make your images larger. When they're that small it just defeats the purpose. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 02:23, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Looks better, thanks for the suggestion Trayus. JangFett  Talk 02:38, 26 July 2009 (UTC)

Ulabore

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:28, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1180 words. Part of FloydProject: Path of Destruction.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:21, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:27, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:13, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:13, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  CC7567  (talk) 23:11, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * You should mention gender somewhere other than the infobox.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Ulabore, despite being highly decorated by the Brotherhood of Darkness as the official leader of the Gloom Walkers, greatly lacked leadership skills, something which gained him disdain among the members of the Gloom Walkers. Ulabore, despite the factDespite is repetitive.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * separated from the main lines, stranded deep behind enemy lines. Lines is repetitive.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *And that's all that I see. Good job. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:53, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:01, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Pasta!
 * 11) * "Over the next year, the Gloom Walkers fought in scores of battles on half-a-dozen worlds with an extremely high success rate, mostly due to the efforts of Dessel." (1) Scores on half-a-dozen does not equate. A score is twenty. Please make sure that these figures are correct. Right now it reads something along the lines of 40, 60, or 80 battles on 6 planets. (2) "Half-a-dozen" is&hellip; yeah&hellip; just remove it.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * Starting with "In 1,002 BBY the Gloom Walkers would fight in the Battle of Phaseera&hellip;"&mdash;which, by the way, needs a comma after the date&mdash;the tense needs to be checked. I fixed what I found in the article up to this point, but there are a lot of present/future conditional tenses used. Please fix this.
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) * There are also a lot of run-on sentences in this same area; and, really in the rest of the article, at times. Too many commas are a good indication. One such sentence is "The Gloom Walkers, now under Dessel's control, went on to accomplish their objective and eliminate the outpost, mostly due to a tremendous effort by Dessel who killed a large number of Republic soldiers even after being blinded by a flash canister." It is grammatically correct, but it could be written better.
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * Double check your comma usage as you copyedit it, especially for compound sentences. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:13, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:25, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

EV-A4-D

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 10:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I give you Paul Lynde. I'll get to Truman Capote sooner or later.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:19, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:11, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * In the intro, give more info on how Gunray wasn't actually at the castle, and the trap.
 * 3) **Done, I believe.
 * 4) * "During the infiltration, EV-A4-D attempted to aid Grievous in killing the intruders, first by repairing his mechanical body" Who's mechanical body? EV or Grievous? Clarify.
 * 5) **I rewrote most of that paragraph, so you may want to look over it again.
 * 6) * Give more context on the Clone Wars. You say that the Confederacy is trying to break from the Republic but you don't explicitly mention that the two sides are fighting.
 * 7) **Does that work?
 * 8) * Tell how the Republic force found out that Gunray wasn't there. Did they find the beacon somewhere?
 * 9) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 10) * Give the outcome of the Republic attack on Grievous.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) *<S>If you're going to talk about Grievous' transformation from organic to cyborg, give context on it.
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) *Nice work.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:22, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:52, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Attack of the Clone
 * 17) * Can you explain to me how you're varying EV-A4-D and A4-D, or at least try to even it out more? If anything, I'd prefer that you make it more consistent than it is now.  CC7567  (talk) 00:10, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **I only used A4-D twice, the second time being a mistake. The first - and now only - instance of it was because the text reads "EV-series, A4-D" and I was attempting to avoid over-repitition of "EV", which was alrady occuring as a result of the character's odd and (when read) lengthy name. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:39, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Unless I'm missing something, can you try and clarify which source states that EV-A4-D's hospital service took place before the Clone Wars? I don't think the Decoded episode or his Databank entry gave any indication to the specific chronology. The current wording is slightly hinting otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 06:14, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Fixed in the intro. It's not really an issue with the body, because there's no concrete chronological wording there. I just didn't introduce the Clone Wars until it was relevant. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:03, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***The first sentence of "The general's doctor" is still slightly suggesting otherwise because of the current placement of the IBC's alliance with the Confederacy. It still sounds like EV-A4-D was bought by the Banking Clan prior to the Clone Wars, since this context isn't given until after his hospital service. Unless it's really necessary, an option you might consider is removing this sentence and simply mentioning the Confederacy with Grievous. If you still need help, let me know.  CC7567  (talk) 19:19, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****I changed "With the start of" to "During". It's a little more ambiguous now. I feel that removing that entire sentence would remove context though. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:22, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *****That's fine for now.  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I removed some stuff from the Characteristics (namely, the part about his curiosity with Grievous's transformation) because it wasn't really verified; when he inquired about "the changes," the droid could have been either talking about the installing of the general's cybernetics itself or new improvements that were added later, and there wasn't a lot of evidence for either one.  CC7567  (talk) 00:12, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Didn't Filoni's commentary clear that up pretty well? That the intention of that line was to make the reason behind Grievous's transformation into a cyborg more ambiguous? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:43, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Huh. Rewatching the commentary...I guess so. You can add it back; sorry about that. Just make sure you reference it properly.  CC7567  (talk) 02:03, 14 August 2009 (UTC)

Tauht

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A redshirt-type character, whose article has somehow reached 1,082 words. Enjoy.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) *"Along with Jedi Masters Kit Fisto and Plo Koon, he was dispatched to the planet Khorm in order to secure the valuable Agrocite ore, which had been captured by the Separatists." Why is the agrocite ore valuable?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *" However, the communication tower was destroyed by explosives detonated by Ventress." Give some kind of time placement for this. Was it as Tauht tried to contact Koon?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *"Having been warned not to underestimate Ventress," When?
 * 7) **The exact timeframe is unknown. I hope "previously" should do the trick...
 * 8) *Other than that, looks good.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:46, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for review. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:49, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Single source for now. I'll source the article if he gets mentioned in the subsequent issues.
 * P&T and P&A are pretty minimal, but that's all there is to say about him. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

Adanar

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:17, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1156 words. Part of FloydProject: Path of Destruction.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Assuming Fiolli's objections will be fixed, of course.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:18, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Naru
 * 2) * "The Sith eventually repelled the Trandoshan attack and annihilated the remaining Republic forces, and in the end Hsskhor was razed to the ground." Double "and."
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "However, Adanar was emotionally scarred and traumatized by the battle." You say ths several times in the article but what about the battle left him traumatized?
 * 5) **Doesn't say.
 * 6) *"Dessel would eventually become Darth Bane, one of the most influential Dark Lords of the Sith in galactic history." This is kindof POVish.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) ***Saying "influential" is still POVish.
 * 9) ****No it isn't. Canon establishes that he was influential.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:40, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *"Adanar looked up to and greatly admired Dessel, and was both astonished by Dessel's abilities and trusting in Dessel's leadership." Double "and."
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) ***The sentence hasn't changed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:15, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****No, it has changed. I changed the second and to as.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:40, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *A very good article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:50, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Pasta! Pasta!
 * 17) *Throughout the article, the tense needs to be checked. There are a lot of instances of present/future conditional tenses rather than a type of past tense. Please fix this.
 * 18) **Addressed.
 * 19) *"He joined the Sith army in 1,003 BBY, on the same day as his future friend Dessel, and was placed in the Gloom Walkers unit." I think it would be better to reword it so that "future" is not used. It is kind of a gray area regarding perception of tense and time in the article. A clause like "who later became" might fit better and feel more past tense. The sentence will probably need to be split up to accommodate that, which is really fine anyway.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) *I know this falls under &mdash;but I am bringing it to your attention for during your copyedit&mdash;check your comma usage with quasi-compound sentences. Such as, "Adanar first saw battle in the Battle of Kashyyyk, and later fought in the Battle of Hsskhor&hellip;" No comma here. When I go through it again, I'll fix any that remain.
 * 22) **OK.
 * 23) *"Over the next year, Adanar would fight in scores of battles on half a dozen worlds." (1) Same objection as with Ulabore regarding statistics. (2) Half-a-dozen is not good English. It is a slang idiom.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) *There are quite a few sentences that border on or are run-ons in the article. While this is a minor one, here is one example: "Adanar and Dessel were placed in the same unit, the Gloom Walkers, under the command of Lieutenant Ulabore and would eventually become good friends." The whole section about becoming friends should probably be in the next sentence. Again, this one is minor, but a few others really should be restructured. Just give it a good copyedit when you fix the tenses. Here is a better example of a sentence that should be split: "Alone and surrounded by enemies, Lieutenant Ulabore panicked, but, luckily for the Gloom Walkers, Dessel was able to lead them on a three-day march back to the main force."
 * 26) **Addressed.
 * 27) *"Dessel would eventually become Darth Bane, one of the most influential Dark Lords of the Sith in galactic history." Naru is right, this is not NPOV.
 * 28) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Few things:
 * 30) * I'd like to see his sex mentioned in the body since it's given in the intro.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * Is there any more detail given about how the battle emotionally scarred him?
 * 33) **See above. Doesn't say.
 * 34) *Otherwise, nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:03, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:35, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Kal'Shebbol

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:14, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with Kal'Shebbol.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support Object
 * 1) --Eyrezer 11:24, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Generis

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:45, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A generic planet article

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 10:42, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:37, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ~ SavageBob 13:55, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A few trifles
 * 2) * Intro: "Generis became a strategic location for the Alliance, coordinating its forces throughout the Atrivis sector." &mdash; this reads as though Generis is coordinating the Alliance forces, could you reword this a litte/add what's necessary?
 * 3) **Done
 * 4) * Locations: "Ruins of Rakatan temples dotted the Generis jungle, of a distinctly alien design" &mdash; it seems a little strange to state that the temples were made by the (alien) Rakata and that the temples were of a "distinctly alien design". Is this a throwback to the pre-Atlas article's info or do you want to keep this in?
 * 5) **A combination, really. The description is from pre-Atlas sources, and as it is the only indicator of their design, I'd like to keep it. I think it does add something, although I've added the word exotic to convey their alien-ness.
 * 6) ***Okay cool!
 * 7) *This is just a great article, Ey; I really enjoyed reading it. Interesting that they tied in the ruins to the Rakata in the Atlas. - —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:25, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Thanks for the review and the words, Harrar. From what I can tell, they gave Rakatan origins to temples on other worlds too, such as Hijarna and Xo, which is a really nice bit of continuity. --Eyrezer 00:46, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) IFYLOFD:
 * 10) *<S>"Generis was a planet of stunning natural beauty located in the Generis system" A bit POVish.</S>
 * 11) **That's pretty much verbatim from The Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook
 * 12) *<S>The lead quote and the quote for the New Republic section are the same.</S>
 * 13) **Changed lead quote.
 * 14) *<S>Quotes for Military personnel or Locations?</S>
 * 15) **Added some. --Eyrezer 06:23, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:47, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 18) * My only quibble is that the ambiguity between "Generis system" and "Atrivis system" is not spelled out a bit more in the infobox and lead section. It makes it a bit jarring to see "Generis system" used in the lead, but "Atrivis system" used in the infobox. Could you change it to something that indicates both names are valid? "Atrivis sytem/Generis system" maybe, or "Atrivis system (a.k.a. Generis system", for example? Otherwise, this is an exemplary planet article. Good work! ~ SavageBob 21:32, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. I've added the alternate name to the infobox and also changed any occurrences of Atrivis system in the body to Generis system. --Eyrezer 07:23, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Just out of curiosity, what system name does the Essential Atlas place it in? ~ SavageBob 13:56, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ****Generis in the Appendix, as well as on a couple of maps. --Eyrezer 03:04, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Peragus II

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: When I first started editing again, I wouldn't have GANed it and would have merely FANed it, had I better known the Wook. Either way, many objections will have been fixed by the GAN process. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:54, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

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Object
 * 1) Jinzler
 * 2) * According to The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, the original mining colony was destroyed millenia before the Jedi Civil War. Also, it says that the Peragus Mining Facility was established by a group of mercenaries and tradesmen, who supplied Republic forces during the Great Sith War. You should mention these things in the article --Jinzler 10:46, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed - thanks for the review. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  11:26, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Cham Syndulla

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another old GA. Finally had the time to rewrite it from its rather poor state.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) I hear you liek clone warz!  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Exelent.Kreivi Wolter 20:09, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blah
 * 2) * "Syndulla did not not onto his personal disputes with Taa" Err...what? :P You're missing a word.
 * 3) **...eh. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "because of later changes due to a lack of sense in the plot" So, they changed it because the plot made no sense? Could you rephrase this a bit? It's a touch...odd, and POVish.
 * 5) **Rephrased.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Real nice work, CC.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:35, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for the review, Chack. Just a note: I've replaced the Palpatine link in the quote caption because it's the only time he's in the article. If there's a problem with that, I'll try to catch you on IRC later.  CC7567  (talk) 17:43, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Lorth Needa

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:44, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After working on this for God-knows-how-long, I've finally decided to stop being lazy and nominate this.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Per pre-nom review. Nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:00, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  The Flash  {talk} 02:09, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Well done. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:00, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) There's more info to be added from the Ep III novel. In the bio, talk about his communication with Yoda during the Invisible Hands descent. In the P&T, talk about his reaction to the Battle of Coruscant and his feelings on Palpatine, Skywalker, Kenobi, and the Republic.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:06, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I thought I was missing something. Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:08, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Note: On the advice of Toprawa, I'm going to get a few more images. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:46, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * You've got a faulty ref there at the moment. --Eyrezer 05:35, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Ugh. I forgot that I had something else referenced to ROTS. Thanks. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:13, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Fang Zar

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:19, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:I felt the need to take a short break from TCW. Won't last long.

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Object
 * 1) Graestan the Merciless:
 * File:ROTSFalcon.jpg needs to be properly sourced.
 * 1) **I'm willing to do this, however I'm not exactly sure how to source for the back of a toy. Any help would be appreciated.
 * 2) **I just added a link to Rebelscum.com and listed the series and year. Realistically, that's the best you're going to get. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:23, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Thanks Culator. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:54, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * File:Sithdelscener1pic2.jpg needs to be recaptured and re-uploaded; one can barely make out Zar even in the full image, let alone the thumbnail.
 * 1) **Eh, I wasn't a big fan of the image anyway. It's been replaced.
 * 2) *Source list needs to be ordered chronologically.
 * 3) **Isn't it?
 * 4) *Appearance list needs to be ordered IU chronologically.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) *Succession box needs to be moved per Layout Guide.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) *Before I touch the writing, I'd like to see someone go through this and add pronouns and other substitutes for "Zar" so this looks a bit less like a book report.
 * 9) **I will work on this a bit, but most of the "Zar's" arise from the fact that he is very often dealing with other male individuals, like Palpatine, Bel Iblis, Vader, and Organa, resulting in confusing "he"s or "him"s or "his"es. But, like I said, I will work on this as much as possible.
 * 10) ***Does that work? Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 00:46, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * Graestan ( Talk ) 14:20, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thank you for the review. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:31, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Het Nkik

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Sad story. The little guy just wants to help his people and ends up dead. Life is indeed cheap on Tatooine.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 05:08, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 16:42, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Copyedited and ready to go --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 14:28, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) My only objection to this is how you have dealt with the Wizards card. As far as I can tell, there is nothing to specify that the background actually is Jabba's Palace, and even if it is, there is nothing to say it could not have occurred before 4 ABY. Consequently, the Bts note seems a bit of a stretch. It also means that image can be in the body of the article. --Eyrezer 00:02, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Heh, this is a debate I had with myself. I actually first stumbled upon this on Sompeetalay's blog. You can see a Nimbanel in the background, which he claims is proof that it's in Jabba's Palace. However, there also seems to be a Nimbanel in Chalmun's cantina (Mosep Binneed, IIRC), and so it could very likely be Nkik. I ultimately just went with what Sompeetalay said, lacking hard evidence either way. However, looking over it, it seems that I should probably just assume that the scene pictured is from ANH and change the article to reflect that, thus removing that BTS note. Sound good to you?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:14, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **That sounds good to me. --Eyrezer 00:23, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***BTS note removed, image added. I'm not entirely sure I like the image there; I may move it up a bit tomorrow. At any rate, thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:33, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 6) *Can you give a little info about why Wimateeka and the other Jawas didn't want Het and Jek to sell the droid to Valarian?
 * 7) **Added a bit of info. Basically, the other Jawas believe that they shoudln't dare attempt anything difficult or new for fear of the potential danger, which I think is explained throughout the course of the article. If you don't feel the bit I added is enough, I can try to work some more in however.
 * 8) *What's the nature of his appearances in the short stories you have listed but don't reference?
 * 9) **Two of those are those referenced to other sources, like CSWE and EGtC. Minor info in a couple of the stories, and the others just contain info that is repeated in the above sources and reffed to those, just because. :P
 * 10) *Similarly, what's the nature of his mentions in the sources you have mentioned by don't reference? The CCG cards in particular are often good fodder for BTS material, as they often have game effects inspired by the character depicted.
 * 11) **Nothing new.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:59, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *Poor little guy. Good work so far! ~ SavageBob 21:16, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks for the reviews, everybody. :)  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:25, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Showdown in the Draay Estate

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 03:10, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Many thanks to, whose original request for assistance led me to work on this article.

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Support
 * 1) A solid article, as always, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:18, 11 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * My 2nd full KOTOR nom. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 03:10, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * This is not a formal objection, but the infobox lists "Unidentified number of "Covenent members". As I told PointGiven in my objections to "Vindication", Covenant members are called "Covenanters" by the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 23:18, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Addressed. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 12:34, 12 August 2009 (UTC)

A'Mar

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 13:27, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Human race. I'm still not really sure how I ended up writing this one, it just kinda happened...

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Support Object
 * 1) ~ SavageBob 20:24, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 2) * Only one thing: Are these guys like mainline Humans in appearance and biology? I guess this is assumed, but it would be nice to say as much in the appropriate section. ~ SavageBob 00:43, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Cheers for the review. The adventure never actually says whether there is any difference biologically between the A'Mar and baseline Humans. Given they have only been there for ten generations, I don't think that is enough time to diverge, especially if offworlders still join their community. --Eyrezer 06:48, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Gotcha. I think it's fine, then. Interesting topic! ~ SavageBob 20:24, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Kadann (impostor)

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:27, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally finished it. Originally meant to be a double nom with the real Kadann so they could go one after the other on the queue but I've never been bothered finishing him to date.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:34, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Harrar
 * 2) * "Eventually, however, the false Kadann and his peers grew discontent with following others, and decided to strike out as their own faction. Kadann established a headquarters for his faction..." &mdash; can you re-word the second "faction" so it's not repetitive.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) ***Cotorie &mdash; niiiice ;)
 * 5) * "when Hissa refused, Jedgar blackmailed with him sensitive information compiled by Kadann's that would identify Hissa as an Imperial traitor, and the grand Moff eventually relented and accepted Kadann's rule." Either you're missing something after "Kadann's", like "Kadann's agents", or that "'s" shouldn't be there. I didn't know which!
 * 6) **Yep it's missing a word; added.
 * 7) * "The once Imperial Intelligence agents were later paid a visit by Zorba, who had survived the Moffs' attempts to feed him to Tatooine's sarlacc." Again, I'd correct this but am not sure what need's correcting.
 * 8) **Fixed.
 * 9) * P&T &mdash; "which was very much out of character for the real Kadann, who didn't like to put himself in the spotlight." I think "who didn't like" is a bit shaky, especially considering how well written the rest of the article is. I may be being pedantic but can you rephrase it?
 * 10) **Good spot; rephrased.
 * 11) *Excellent article; it's amazing how serious you can make it all sound! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 10:28, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thank you very much, and thanks for the review. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:12, 13 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Xecr Nist

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:26, 16 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First in what may become a QuiGonProject.

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Comments
 * Before anyone objects to this. There is absolutely no way to find out who voiced him in the audio drama. He is not credited in the ending narration of the audio drama itself, nor is his name written on the box of both the old casette version and the CD Collector's edition (thanks to and  for checking). A thorough Google check revealed nothing as well. The best candidate for being his voice actor is Jim Ward, since Nist's voice sounds almost identical to Sedriss's, who was portrayed by Ward; but I decided not to speculate and leave it ambiguous.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:26, 16 August 2009 (UTC)

Mighella

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 02:22, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:A Nightsister to spice things up a bit.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) Per pre-nom review. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:10, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:20, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 09:48, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:20, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Short, sweet, to the point. You know my steeze. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 02:22, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Very nice, the one thing I changed that you may quibble with is the phrasing "massacred each"; I didn't think that worked because you don't massacre an individual (and it didn't seem to read well even with the "and his minions". I changed it to "eliminated" but if you like you can of course change it back. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 09:48, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nah not at all. I completely agree with your change, and thank you for making it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Talk ) 05:10, 20 August 2009 (UTC)

Pernicar

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:48, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WP:NSW to the rescue.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Absolutely. Love the character and the article. QuentinGeorge 07:08, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:15, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunny:
 * 2) *Early life: "Pernicar had three brothers." This really just sticks out in the paragraph and doesn't flow. Can you find somewhere else to integrate it, maybe into a longer sentence?
 * 3) *Life as a Jedi: In the first two sentences of this section can you change one or more of the "rank"s?
 * 4) *Life as a Jedi: "Mortull, noticing his former master, ran toward Pernicar, smiling and laughing as he made his way toward Pernicar." Can you vary one of the "toward Pernicar"s?
 * 5) *While I'm guessing there's not enough info for a P&a, is there any info on his powers or abilities that could be given a mention in the P&t? Maybe if he was able to use a lightsaber or something.
 * 6) * Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Lensi

 * Nominated by: -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A far less complicated nom than Alema; Lensi was a Rogue Squadron pilot and one of the few Rogue Leaders who it's possible to FA without multitudinous resources. The bio's actually made more interesting by what may have been a CSWE error.

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Object
 * 1) A shot of marinara:
 * 2) * No dates for Anni in the succession box? For the record, do not put "unknown" in there, either. Just leave it blank. (I took care of this last thing since I was in there.)
 * 3) **25 ABY, sorry about that. Thanks for checking it out! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***No problem. I will try to get to the rest of it sometime shortly. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:47, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:09, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Pictures are sadly stuff that relate to Lensi&hellip;succession boxes (which suck), list him as Rogue Leader in 40 ABY, which to the best of my knowledge is when Fury is placed in the timeline. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 12:01, 17 August 2009 (UTC)

Murgoob

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 01:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first character nom. Please be gentle! ~ SavageBob 01:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

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Cracian Thumper

 * Nominated by: jSarek
 * Nomination comments: The new info in the Rebellion Era Campaign Guide finally let me get this critter up over a thousand words. jSarek 03:40, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

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Support
 * 1) Looks good! Hopefully we'll get more color pics of these guys in future sources. ~ SavageBob 14:08, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Your missing a source for one of the infobox items. Though I could guess it was the same source as the others, I'm not certain so I'll leave it to you.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:32, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Cited to the source that indicates they have "intelligence equal to most domestic pets". jSarek 05:58, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) There is a colour pic of a Cracian in the Reb Era sourcebook. It should be in there and possibly even the infobox pic. --Eyrezer 07:28, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Added and made the infobox pic. jSarek 08:21, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 6) * Although the capitalization varies from source to source, I think the article should be internally consistent. I noticed a few "Cracian thumpers" in there with the "Cracian Thumpers."
 * 7) **It should, and I'm surprised I've let some through. However, having looked through the sources again, I need to figure out which capitalization to stick with.  See the article talk page. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Can you add some notes to the "Biology and appearance" section about fur colors? The visual references at the very least should provide some clues as to what color they are.
 * 9) **The only color picture of the Cracian thumper is the one seen in the infobox . . . and given how stylized it is, I really can't tell what color it is. It could be grey, brown, or even white (and well shadowed) in that pic. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * This may just be my preference, but anytime I can offer a hard date, I like to do so. In this article, for instance, you could add the precise dates for things like the Thrawn campaign, the establishment of Echo Base, and a lot of the stuff in the final paragraph of the "History" section. This makes it easier for the reader to get a grasp on when these things happened, in my opinion.
 * 11) **Hard date given for the Jomark rider. Echo Base was constructed over a long enough a period, though, I don't think a precise date for deciding to domesticate tauntauns can be inferred.  The stuff in the (former) last paragraph is already dated as precisely as the source - about four months after Hoth. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * In what capacity do they appear in Lords of the Expanse and Tapani Sector Instant Adventures? If it's in actual adventures rather than as background material, these sources (and possibly the actual adventures) should be moved to "Appearances" rather than "Sources."
 * 13) **The former is source material, but you're right, the second is as part of an adventure; article has been adjusted accordingly. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *I'm really glad you decided to devote some time to these critters! Good work, and I hope to support very soon! ~ SavageBob 20:06, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks. :-) jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * How about including the concept painting on which the thumpers are based? Maybe in BTS? ~ SavageBob 20:27, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Problem is, I'm not sure which one was the inspiration. There are several sketches in the The Illustrated Star Wars Universe that might fit the bill, but the only place where it's confirmed that the Thumpers are based on Tauntaun art is a comment by Leland Chee in this blog, which doesn't clarify which art it refers to. jSarek 04:47, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Hmm, I see your point. Perhaps you could include one of them and say something to the effect of "The Cracian Thumper's appearance was based on early concept art of the tauntaun, such as this painging by [artist]." It just feels wrong to have such a great opportunity to show off some concept art and not take it. But if you feel that would be misleading, I can see that perspective too. :) ~ SavageBob 12:18, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * I've added one of the pics and merely noted it was tauntaun concept artwork. jSarek 13:31, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Quoreal

 * Nominated by: -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Xim the Despot of the Yuuzhan Vong&mdash;never seen, only referenced. His story is brought together from snippets of information across several books and sources, so it should be a concise and non-narrative read. Reflecting the disparate nature of the info, I've referenced the article to page numbers, or chapters when describing big events. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

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Object
 * 1) Marinara:
 * 2) *Same thing as Lensi. Can you complete the succession box? &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:46, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Hopefully a better image of Zonama Sekot is included in the Atlas? If not I'll include the one on this article. Finally, this sentence on CUSWE "Others began to wonder if Quoreal had wanted to find a peace with the New Republic and learn more about Zonama Sekot, since the planet seemed to provide a linkage between the Yuuzhan Vong and the peoples of the Republic." no doubt has some grounding, but I can't find the reference following a mind-numbingly dull search of The Unifying Force. I'll keep looking, but for the time being I'd like to nominate him. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 18:00, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Kadavo

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:41, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yet another TCW comic battle...

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Object

Comments