Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Llerd


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Llerd

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 16:27, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Look at the article's edit history!

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:54, April 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:50, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:23, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 20:09, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Go for it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:31, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * The intro currerntly implies that it was due solely to Druur's sabotage that the ship misjumped and traveled through time, which is not true.
 * 3) **This is better, but maybe clarify that they intended to jump into hyperspace, because right now it kind of sounds like they jumped because the Jedi damaged the drive and the bridge. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:02, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ch-ch-check it out! Menkooroo 15:24, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) * "When it was discovered that Druur was aboard&hellip;" Aboard what?
 * 6) * The bio is probably big enough to be subsectioned.
 * 7) * Bio: why did Druur board them? Why was he hostile?
 * 8) * Why did Hassin crash his Infiltrator into the Harbinger?
 * 9) * "&hellip;for their wayward Jedi." Please make clear that this refers to Druur.
 * 10) * "Llerd also noticed one of the ship's escape pods" Which ship's? The Harbinger or the Junker?
 * 11) * Why was he ordered to fire on the escape pod?
 * 12) * Why did Rrogon order Llerd not to scan any subspace channels?
 * 13) * "Llerd was eager to see Junker destroyed, and when it jettisoned its cargo into an asteroid, he believed that the Blade starfighters had succeeded." How did this make them believe the Junker had been destroyed?
 * 14) * You say the Flotsam appeared under Harbinger, but as I recall Marr and Relin were using the Junker. Which is correct?
 * 15) * "&hellip;that Druur was aboard the ship" Which ship? Junker or Harbinger?
 * 16) * Please link Mission to the Harbinger somewhere in the bio.
 * 17) * Please note that prose excerpts cannot be used as quotes, unless it is from an IU writing.
 * 18) *Good work. Glad to see somebody else doing a Crosscurrent nom :) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:01, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I've wanted to do Llerd for a couple months, but your Druur nom inspired me to get to it! Thanks for the review. You're right, it was totally Junker, not Flotsam. I've addressed that, and hopefully every other objection above. Menkooroo 14:51, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ***No problem. Just one objection remaining, and I'll give it another look-over. :) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:02, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Just one more: the main quote could probably be changed, especially since the "Destruction of the Harbinger" quote contains it.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:38, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *Quotes are pretty sparse for the dude. And there isn't a better leading quote. Sooooo... I jettisoned it from Destruction of the Harbinger. Bam! Menkooroo 15:44, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *Also, "the" Junker is incorrect. Menkooroo 15:46, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) **That's more of a personal preference thing than a technical issue, but just make sure that your usage is consistent throughout the article. I changed it to "the Junker" as opposed to just "Junker" because you tend use "the Harbinger" throughout the article.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:50, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ***I was going by the wookiee articles, but the book doesn't use "the" for either of them, so I'll jettison the the from Harbinger as well. Menkooroo 15:52, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) ****Sounds good; just so long as it is consistent within the article :) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:53, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) I'm sorry, this is real minor, but some small things like this are pet peeves of mine. Can the "barrel-chested" descriptor be removed from the first sentence of the intro? I don't think it's needed there, as it's stated in P&T. Otherwise, seems fine. Also, I probably should have noticed this earlier...you say the book calls it only Harbinger, with no "the?" I added in "the," but it's my mistake, and I'll fix it in the morning.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:45, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) *No worries about the the. I took care of it. On another note, sorry about the rank capitalization --- I remembered the policy, but for some reason I remembered it wrong, thinking that ranks had to be capitalized. My mistake. Barrel-chested zapped! Menkooroo 01:56, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **Quite all right, and thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:23, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) Attack of the Clone
 * 31) * Can you focus on Llerd himself (i.e. his species, gender, etc.) the instant that you begin the bio? It's a little improper to start off the article with context on his position as opposed to Llerd himself.
 * 32) **Good call. Changed.
 * 33) * "Away from the bridge, Rrogon was able to use the Force to pull the ship back into realspace": is this telekinesis at work? If so, it needs to be linked.  CC7567  (talk) 20:57, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Yeah, it probably was. Linked. Menkooroo 16:36, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * It's under one thousand!!!! Menkooroo 16:27, April 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Are there any other quotes that might fit better as the lead? Perhaps the one from "mission to Phaegon III," or something from the book. However, this isn't an objection, and if you like the current main quote, then that's fine.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:23, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nah, quotes are pretty sparse for the dude. I like "Yes, sir" because it sums up his personality for presumably his entire career in the Sith military, not just his colonelship. Menkooroo 23:52, April 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * All righty.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:54, April 27, 2010 (UTC)