Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Liberation of slave camps

Liberation of slave camps (Battle of Naboo)

 * Nominated by: Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 18:55, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I hated playing this mission

Moffship

 * Needs to follow the Layout Guide. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 18:54, July 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Did that do it? Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 14:03, July 21, 2010 (UTC)

First glance

 * You give a time of 32 BBY in the intro but no in the body. Can you find a place to work it in?
 * Likewise mention the Invasion of Naboo in the Prelude section, as it is currently only mentioned in the intro.
 * I'll try to read it fully soon. Grunny  ( talk ) 02:51, August 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 21:02, August 10, 2010 (UTC)

QGJ

 * "He had to report into his captain, who told him to continue." Feels kinda redundant and play-by-play.
 * The link to the minelayer leads to an Imperial transport. Please find an appropriate article to link to, or create one.
 * Please make a mention of the Trade Federation forces destroying a bridge in Ferentina, as this I believe was the reason why the prisoners had to switch to the speeders.
 * "One of the speeders collapsed the rock bed behind them" Please check this. In my version, the rock is collapsed by an N-1 starfighter, i.e. either Sykes or Deviss.
 * "This event is comprised of two concurrent missions" Concurrent means that the two missions took place at the same time, while they clearly did not as one followed the other. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 11:46, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Re-worded. We have the same version, but evidently not the same memory. And "succeeding" was the word I was looking for. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 12:24, August 11, 2010 (UTC)

Xd1358

 * There are a few links to redirects in the infobox.
 * Infobox: "RNSF liberated captured civilians.[1]" The outcome in the infobox should not be in imperfect, but in present tense.
 * Infobox: There is no need for a bullet if there's only one item in the box (combatants).
 * "A number of slave camps were liberated during the Trade Federation Droid Army Invasion of Naboo in 32 BBY." That sounds strange. Perhaps "A number of slave camps were liberated during the Invasion of Naboo in 32 BBY. The Trade Federation Droid Army had..."
 * "The droid forces had quickly established a number of to hold captured prisoners." Number of what?
 * More to come. -- 1358  (Talk) 07:48, August 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

 * I removed the Aftermath section because it was a repetition of the final sentence. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 14:13, August 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * I've been thinking about moving half of the first paragraph and putting it in the second. Would that flow better? Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 12:24, August 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is there any reason why the article name contains (Battle of Naboo)? There's no article called Liberation of slave camps. -- 1358  (Talk) 07:53, August 15, 2010 (UTC)