Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Widow's Valley


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Widow's Valley

 * Nominated by: Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 14:25, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: So named for the unstable spires.

(3 ECs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Darth Karika  will destroy your planet! 20:09, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  1358  (Talk) 16:33, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ''' Bonslywizard Trade Federation Symbol.jpg( Send a transmission ) 00:50, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Whoops; thought I had already supported this. ~ SavageBob 02:02, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Through at last.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:20, November 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Karika
 * 2) * The body could be split up into three sentences.
 * 3) ** Needs a BtS.  Darth Karika  will destroy your planet! 16:26, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Done. Thanks for the suggestion. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 20:01, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Xd1358
 * 6) * "...near the south ridge of the city of Theed." Reads awkwardly. Perhaps the capital city Theed instead?
 * 7) * "Sykes was a pilot of the Royal Naboo Security Forces and flew through the Valley during a battle against the Trade Federation Droid Army at the end of the Invasion of Naboo in 32 BBY." Okay, this is a weird sentence. You must get this and the earlier sentence to run smoother. Please see what phrasing adjustments you can make. 1358  (Talk) 21:47, September 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) **How does it read now? Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 02:48, September 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***It's still pretty choppy. It's like, which is not good.  1358  (Talk) 19:30, September 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ****Is there an improvement now? Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 02:33, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) The Wizard did it
 * 12) * There needs to be some resolution to the battle. Did the Security Forces win, or the Federation? --''' Bonslywizard Trade Federation Symbol.jpg( Send a transmission ) 15:32, October 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Details once thought irrelevant are now added. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 01:55, October 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu
 * 15) * If knocking over the pillars are not necessary, shouldn't Gamemechanics be used?
 * 16) **Should it be? Probably. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 02:27, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *** Make sure that only optional things are included in the template. I think the proton bombs are required for mission completion, and there may be others. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:05, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * any surviving convoy vehicles on the bridge were destroyed. How? By whom? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:17, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **By the exploding thermal detonators. Is it not clear enough? If not let me know. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 02:27, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *** It isn't because you haven't said anything about them being destroyed prior to the proton bombs. This makes it seem as if some of the convoy vehicles survived the bomb detonation, and were then destroyed in some other way. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:05, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * It is not necessary to destroy the pillars during the mission to delay the convoy. This makes it sound like it was intentionally destroyed by Sykes. In the body, however, you just say that they were knocked down. Please clarify. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:05, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Here's how the mission ends. By blowing the detonators with your bombs, or lasers, or destroying the MTTs (difficult to do without knocking down the pillars to delay them). Take your pick. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 04:42, October 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *** This should be elaborated upon in the BTS. Alternate stories are noted in the "Behind the scenes" section. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:12, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ****The point I am trying to make is that there is more than one distinct way to end the mission, and I need advice on how to express this. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 23:30, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) *****Something like: this battle appears in the nth mission of BFN. Then talk about how the player plays as Sykes. Then, address the requirements/optionals of the mission. Something to the tune of: "stopping the convoy by destroying the bridge is the only requirement for mission completion, with X serving as an optional action that delays the convoy." SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:23, October 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *In fact, it isn't even necessary to destroy the convoy, just the bridge. The mission objective says to "stop the convoy."
 * 27) **Okay, SoresuMakashi. I finally got around to expressing the article in the most efficient manner. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 00:35, November 10, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I could find a quote if necessary. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 14:25, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Um...where's the page? =/ --''' Bonslywizard Trade Federation Symbol.jpg( Send a transmission ) 21:44, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't know; it won't show up when running a search for it. The only way to go to it is through a page which links to it (BFN appearances or Battle of the south ridge). Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 21:50, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * The apostrophe was different. --Eyrezer 23:10, September 22, 2010 (UTC)


 * I went back and made it super-comprehensive. You may want to verify everything is correct. Corellian PremierAll along the watchtower 02:48, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry to sound like a broken record, but I think the Unidentified Naboo canyon mentioned in the article needs to be linked and created. ~ SavageBob 17:15, October 24, 2010 (UTC)