Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

Corran Horn

 * Nominated by: Havac 21:07, 2 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is most certainly not the longest article in the history of Wookieepedia. No. It is a very short article and I encourage you all to review it.

(1 Inq/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Ryan Fett  ( For Mandalore! )[[Image:JaingHead.svg|20px]] 22:56, 6 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Tom rules 09:07, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles 20:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Imperialles's objections:
 * 2) * Image:BattleofThyferra-crop.jpg's infobox lacks some fields.
 * 3) *I'll put Image:ScreenShot0153.JPG on my to-do list (not an objection).
 * Image:Corran Horn 4.jpg is sort of distorted. Possible to remedy at all?
 * 1) **Replaced with Image:Njo Corran.png. -- Ozzel 06:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nice work. --Imperialles 15:57, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Cluttered Workspace of Jorrel Fraajic (Part 1 of 4)
 * First off, a comment. This is certainly one of the largest undertakings I have ever done on the Wook - reading this article, I mean. In fact, in order to even think of such a thing, I had to go off and print the content of the article (barring pictures and templates). At 8pt font, 0.12" margins (save for a 2" margin on the right), and with images and templates culled, I was able to squeeze the entire article into a convenient 40-page document, suitable for printing. Without modifications, the entire article is 111 pages long. 111. I must say that I am entirely impressed. And, all that to say... Inqs who are looking at this article and saying "Damn", I suggest that you do what I did, and print out the article, be it in small chunks or as a whole thing. In paper form, it's a whole lot easier to concentrate and make notations than on a computer screen. In fact, it only took me about an hour to read through 10 pages of my 40-page doc.
 * TL;DR version: Print out the damn article and review it already, Inqs. It's not that hard to read. :P
 * Secondly, another comment. I realize that, as I'm not an Inq, my vote really has no weight in this matter. That being said, I really wanted to review this article. Not because I'm looking for a way to push into the Inq-ing status, not because I feel like messing with Havac, but because I know (from personal experience) that an FAN that has nothing happening to it is worse to have running than an FAN with objections and the like, showing that it's not catatonic. Nothing is worse than having a stale FAN sitting for weeks on end without people even making an effort. Hence, my objection list is as follows (note that this is part 1 of 4. Article's long!):
 * 1) *INTRO
 * 2) **Second paragraph, latter part. Make sure that you make the point that, after the Bacta Wars, Rogue Squadron reformed. As it stands now, you have "led Rogue Squadron in resigning", followed by "continued his career in Rogue Squadron"... without any mention of Rogue Squadron actually reforming.
 * 3) *BIOGRAPHY
 * 4) **Formative years
 * 5) ***Second paragraph, last sentence: Where does it come from? It doesn't seem to fit within the paragraph it's attached to.
 * 6) **Capturing Zekka Thyne
 * 7) ***I've noticed this throughout all of the scenes where Corran and Hal are working together: You use a lot of "Horn" where either Corran or Hal could be placed. For example, look at paragraph 3, first sentence: "Horn headed to the freighter, the Hopskip, with the others..." The reader isn't entirely sure which Horn you're talking about, until later in the paragraph. As I said before, this seems to be pretty prevalent throughout the father/son scenes. Is it possible to persuade you to use first names for clarification's sake?
 * 8) **Living with loss
 * 9) ***Second "paragraph" (yeah, the one with two sentences) - any chance you can expand this, or group it together with a relevant thought? As it stands, it's pretty much just floating there.
 * 10) ***More instances of "Corran/Hal Horn" - which one is it, etc.
 * 11) ***Third paragraph, 4th sentence (ref'd [8]): "Morose and constantly reliving the past, Horn was only brought back to the present when Wessiri and Bastra got him into a cantina brawl, helping him focus himself on living his life now." - The now at the end of this sentence just feels too... present-tense. Perhaps a change to "in the present", or something similar?
 * 12) **Becoming a Rogue
 * 13) ***Rephrase first paragraph, last sentence. The use of the semicolon there just doesn't feel right. My suggestion is to remove the semicolon, and put a small phrase, "due to his thoughts on", or something to that extent.
 * 14) **Activation
 * 15) ***4th paragraph, 4th sentence; the "shred" here feels informal. Can I get a more formal description of the Lancer's abilities?
 * 16) **Readying to strike
 * 17) ***Paragraph 4, Last Sentence: Has "Black Sunners" ever been used IU? If not, I'd prefer a "Black Sun members", or something to that extent.
 * 18) *Aaaaand... that's it! (Part 1). I went through and touched some things up myself. Very good read, very long read, but very well done. I'm impressed, jealous, angry, frustrated, proud, and happy, all at once, after reading through this article. Once again, excellent job Havac. 07:25, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) From the Red Book of Chack Jadson:
 * 20) *Right now, I'm only on Becoming a Rogue, but I'll get more done soon. Anyway, here's what I've got at this point.
 * 21) *Link the battles in the intro; there are several that could have links.
 * 22) *The prose in the first paragraph of drifting into danger is kind of dull.
 * 23) *You use the term cover identities twice in the first sentence of on the run.
 * 24) *The first two sentences of the last paragraph of on the run are also somewhat dull.
 * 25) *Ramble on.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:57, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *In Captivity: "The guard struck Horn with his blaster, and Horn retaliated by reflexively throwing his bucket of gravel into the guard." (Use Ctl+F) The bucket part isn’t needed, IMO.
 * 27) *In the last sentence of this section, you mention there Dlarit escaped. I’d add something along the lines of, now revealed as a traitor
 * 28) *"Almost all the rest of Rogue Squadron followed suit." Who didn’t? I thought they all did, but I’m likely wrong.

Comments
 * You crushed Palpatine. On another note, I assume you meant to support?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:31, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Why is every damn person on the Wook asking me about this? The vote doesn't mean anything. Havac 17:50, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * All right...  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
 * TL;DR. -- Ozzel 09:33, 12 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Technically, now you haven't voted for it.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:26, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Wow Havoc... and I thought it had gotten pretty long back when I was working on this... you blew that away, AND more or less re-did the entire article AND re-wrote it a lot better than my version. Anyways, while I'm probably not gonna be able to do much for at least a month until school gets out, just a couple quick things I noticed:
 * 1) Some of the section titles strike me as a bit unencyclopedic. For instance, "Supply run gone wrong" might want to be replaced by something like "Battle of Yag'Dhul" or "Return to Yag-prime," and "Drifting into danger" might want to be replaced with something like "Leaving CorSec." There are also some border-line section titles (Rogue rookie, Reign of terror)
 * 2) It could use some more pictures, especially in the the parts on Rogue Squadron and I, Jedi. That being said, having worked to this article before, I know there aren't a lot of pictures from that time of his life, so if you can't add any without making it seem really forced, that's fine.
 * 3) The lead quote is so long that it looks sorta unwieldy. You might want to think about trimming it down some.

Other than that, great Job!!!

181st Imperial Fighter Group

 * Nominated by: Havac 03:56, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) 181stAce 18:52, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Excellent. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:10, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:27, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Thefourdotelipsis 06:40, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) One-Eighty-Best. - Lord Hydronium 08:56, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:56, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * Surely there's more that can be said in the BTS section. There's at least one retcon to explain, right? Maybe check some Stackpole interviews for more info? -- Ozzel 10:04, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't recall any retcons, and I've checked all the interviews I had for Soontir Fel himself, and Stackpole never talks about the 181st, just about Fel. The 181st is just a vehicle for that character, so it doesn't get talked about that much in and of itself. Havac 17:53, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * The 181st got retconned into the events of The Empire Strikes Back, Shadows of the Empire, and Return of the Jedi, as indicated by The Making of Baron Fel. Shock Wave 18:42, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * They're not retcons. If it there was something saying "these specific fighters in ROTJ are the 181st," then it would be. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:55, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Then shouldn't Shadows of the Empire be removed from Appearances as well? 181stAce 15:31, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) I'd like to see the paragraph of information about the "fake" 181st expanded into its own section; this is a major plot point for Aaron Allston's Wraith Squadron novels and, as such, has a lot more material to be explored, including the battles that the impostor unit participated in, as well as how the trickery with the droid fighters was discovered. Also, this use of the unit by Allston should warrant a mention in the BtS. -- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:56, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *But that's got not a damn thing to do with the 181st. If you want information about that, we really should have an article on Impostor 181st Imperial Fighter Group. All the information that's actually relevant to the 181st -- the fact that a duplicate unit was created, that it briefly fooled NRI, and was subsequently exposed -- is in the article. I mean, do we need ten sections in Palpatine on the Second Imperium fakeup of him and everything that fakeup did? Or do we just mention that there was a scam, give the details that are actually relevant to Palpatine and his legacy, and move on? Havac 22:55, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) ** Whatever about the IU stuff, a mention in the BtS is definitely needed, since Zsinj's fake was originally thought to be the real thing (I recall a fan letter complaining about it printed in one of the issues of Rogue Squadron). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:16, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***BTS added. Havac 00:55, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Thanks. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:19, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa:
 * 7) * Please organize source list by correct OOU publication date. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:13, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) **Though he didn't mention it here for some reason, he has done that. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:15, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Culator, if Havac can't log in, he can't edit the WP:FAN page. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:42, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ****Ah. Right. Makes sense. Well someone had to notify Toprawa anyway. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:56, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Inquisitorius vote to strike above objection by Goodwood
 * 1) As Havac explains above, more information on the impostor 181st would be irrelevant to the subject of the article. Goodwood was spoken to over IRC and stated that he would not strike it unless more information were added or the three sentences on it were given an entirely separate section, leaving two extremely tiny sections in a row. Since both of those would be to the detriment of the article, and Goodwood made it clear he would not discuss it further, I think all we can do is strike. - Lord Hydronium 03:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Doesn't want to continue discussion, too bad. Thefourdotelipsis 05:00, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) The objection is nonsensical. Is there a paragraph about the actor Timothy Bottoms in the middle of an encyclopedia article about George W. Bush? No. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:36, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Sorry Goodwood. Explanations make sense.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:58, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:28, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Opposition to Inquisitorius vote
 * 1) Goodwood's just shown in IRC that he does want to continue discussion, when attempted the right way. He says he'll strike if just a bit more info and links to the battles where they fooled people are added, which I think is fair. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:17, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I don't care if one side is "right" or not. Unless it's blatantly against the rules or the case of the absentee objector, I think we should be very sparing in using this power; if Goodwood's willing to keep up a dialogue and work with Havac to reach an agreement, then I'm not inclined to strike the objection. If he was stone-walling, it'd be a different story.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:50, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm not a fan of the way the Zsinj-impostor thing is sourced. You have two sentences with three references tacked on at the end, but these aren't really helpful or accurate. Wraith Squadron is reffed to, but it isn't established that Tetran Cowell was masquerading as Fel in that novel, so it is a bit misleading. If you understand what I'm saying. I'm not sure if this is repeated throughout the article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:22, 8 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Resourced. Havac 00:55, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * This isn't so much an objection as a question, but why don't the "Commanders" and "Members" section have any sort of "ultimate fate" type thing. Granted, its not wholly relevant to the 181st, but one sentence saying what happened to them would be okay, IMHO. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:19, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I considered that, but I ultimately decided that a description of their time in the 181st itself was enough. Otherwise, I'd get into, "Soontir Fel defected to the New Republic, then Thrawn convinced him to redefect, and then he was in this thing called the Empire of the Hand, until he was in the Chiss Ascendancy, and he had six kids but three of them died, and eventually his descendants ruled the Empire but we don't know how." It would be a lot of information at a very low level of detail that doesn't add much to the understanding of the 181st. Ultimately, if you want more information about what happened to them later, you click the link -- I just didn't want to get too distracted into chronicling the career of Evir Derricote and Soontir Fel and Turr Phennir instead of chronicling the 181st. Havac 16:16, 9 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm not making this an objection since I don't believe in image-based objections, but Image:Brentaal-181st.jpg, Image:X-wing_23_06.jpg, and Image:X-wing_24_07.jpg could stand to be replaced. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:56, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Barukka

 * Nominated by: Darthchristian 8:36, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Take this, Jon!

(4 Inq/2 User/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:49, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Honed, Refined, Approved.  Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:32, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 23:59, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:47, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:40, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Lord Hydronium 09:00, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Otherwise, not bad. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 18:10, 14 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) She's actually mentioned briefly -- albeit with her named misspelled "Baruka" -- in Cracken's Threat Dossier, on page 26. I don't think there's any new info, but you'll have to reference the article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:31, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *The article is now referenced and the BtS amended.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:06, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Thanks muchos, Goodwood --Darthchristian 20:09, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
 * -) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:15, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Holocron of Darth Xadún...
 * 2) * Starting the 'Redemption' section with 'However...' doesn't flow very well. Either remove it or reword the opening sentence for this section.
 * 3) **Fixed. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *** You don't need 'though' on the end of this sentence either.
 * 5) ****Done. --Darthchristian 00:02, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * I've noticed you use the word 'However' quite a lot. It gets very repetitive. Try replacing a few of the instances with other words or try removing it altogether and re-wording your sentences.
 * 7) **I fixed most of them, but I left two 'However's in there. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***That's fine, it's just when you use the same word a lot in a short space it gets mundane. Much better now. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:22, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * "She would call for her to return, and would hunt for Barukka, determined to bring her back into the clan by driving her mad, or kill her for her betrayal." should read "She would call for her to return, and would hunt for Barukka, determined to either bring her back into the clan, drive her mad, or kill her for her betrayal." Please adapt this.
 * 10) **Done. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * "She had a dark aura flowing about her, and wielded great powers that even Luke had not known of. " Is better off in the P&a rather than P&t section.
 * 12) **I kept the dark aura in there, becuase it signified how far she had fallen, but the second part of that sentence is now in the P&A section. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *** The first sentence in the P&A section is now too long and rather fragmented. Break it up into 2 seperate sentences; one for the using of the 'spells' and another about her skill at the 'spell of illusion'.
 * 14) ****Done. --Darthchristian 00:02, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Millenium Falcon should be in italics as it is the name of a ship.
 * 16) **Done.--Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * "She wanted her various physical and mental damages to be healed by Luke, and her willfulness and eagerness to be redeemed led to her redemption by Luke." Alter this sentence so you don't use 'by Luke' twice and 'redeemed/redemption'. Try '...and her willfulness and eagerness to return to the Clan (or her family, whichever you prefer) led to her redemption.'
 * 18) **Used your suggestion there. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * The Powers section is rather brief. Mention about the Witches of Dathomir thinking the Force was magic spells and which 'spells' Barukka was proficient at. Also, because she could hear Gethzerion in her mind is more of an indicator that Gethzerion could use tlepathy rather than Barukka, so change this two.
 * 20) **I did my best on that one. I mentioned the spells and took Barukka's telepathic abilities out. I couldn't make it that much longer, because when I did, it sounded really POVish. --Darthchristian 2:00, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *** "Barukka was not known for being able to block telpathic connections to her, and was tortured by Gethzerion, who exploited this." The sentence could do with re-arranging to sound less fragmented, and spellings, too. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:22, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Fixed it up. --Darthchristian 00:02, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Stone Table of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "...committing atrocities that her mother, Augwynne Djo, would not speak of..." This is uneeded.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * "She had petitioned to rejoin the Singing Mountain Clan, which she would be allowed to do once she has completed her purification. However, she was tormented mentally by Gethzerion and was slowly being driven insane." These two sentences read awkwardly.
 * 5) **Fixed it up, should read well now.
 * 6) * Dark Side isn't capitalized.
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) ***No it's not.
 * 9) ****It wasn't capitilized in other paragraphs as well. I must of missed it before, but its done now. Sorry about that.
 * 10) *****Quite alright.
 * 11) * Give a few words about how Augwynne was the leader when she's first mentioned in the Bio.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) * "...who would impose terror on the other clans and the people that were imprisoned on Dathomir as well." Again, this doesn't flow.
 * 14) **Fixed it up.
 * 15) * Is there an article for the Imperial Prison?
 * 16) **Yeah, there is, I added it to the article now.
 * 17) * "...and wasn't trustworthy due to actions." This part seems incomplete, and needs better phrasing.
 * 18) **It was a fragment I hadn't noticed while writing this article, I fixed it now.
 * 19) * The prose in the first paragraph in Redemption could be better.
 * 20) **Redid the first few sentences.
 * 21) * Give a little context on who Isolder, Leia, and Luke (well, at least Isolder) were and why they wanted information about the Prison.
 * 22) **Explained who each character was, and why they needed information about the prison was already stated later int he paragraph.
 * 23) *"...impressing and terrifying Leia." It seems like the people in the prison were doing these things to her. Please correct this.
 * 24) **Fixed it up.
 * 25) ***Actually, this part might fit better in P&A or should be removed entirely. You decide.
 * 26) ****I decided to take it out.
 * 27) * You use collapse in consecutive sentences in this paragraph too.
 * 28) **Fixed.
 * 29) *Give some context on her Gethzerion and how her clan was destroyed.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * You stress that she wanted to be redeemed about four times in the P&T alone. Please try to cut down on this and condense it as much as possible. I understand why you do this, but it makes for an awkward read.
 * 32) **I cut down on the redemption stuff. It's better now.
 * 33) * "Barukka, a Force-trained Dathomiri witch and Nightsister, and activated her Force powers by exclaiming a set of words that her clan had named a spell." Is the "and" simply in there by mistake?
 * 34) **Yep. Fixed.
 * 35) * "Barukka was not known for being able to block telepathic connections to her, and was endlessly tortured by Gethzerion because of this." To block connections to whom? Also, it sounds like she was tortured because she couldn't block her, not because she was cruel and her inability to block it enabled her to torture her (if you get what I mean).  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:34, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) **I know what you're talking about, but since Gethzerion is the only one who got through to Barukka's mind, there's no proof that she was able to block telepathic connections. That's why the "Barukka was not known for being able to block telepathic connections to her," was put there in the first place, and telepathy is an important Force power. If I use your suggestion, then the sentence is very POVish, and also sounds like conjecture. --Darthchristian 23:27, 22 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * Context on Zsinj.
 * 38) **Done.
 * 39) * "....she became very fearful..." Please change to avoid using fearful in the same paragraph.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:01, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) **Changed the second one to "frightened." Darthchristian 20:25, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * It would probably do to fatten up the intro just a tad. Otherwise fine, though she's no Jon. :P Thefourdotelipsis 01:39, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. Darthchristian 20:25, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Dark side should not be capitalized. I fixed several of those, but our MOS says it should be lower-case. Same with light side.
 * 3) **I'm pretty sure I fixed all of them. Also, i don't know if darksider should be capitalized or not. Is it?
 * 4) ***Not generally. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:40, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * "Luke tried to stay by offering her shelter there, though it was her home, but Barukka simply warned them about the upcoming war the Singing Mountain Clan faced with the Nightsisters, and that she was being summoned by Gethzerion." This sentence, particularly the first part, is not very clear.
 * 6) **Fixed it up.
 * 7) * "While she was forsaken, she stayed within the rules, not allowing anyone into her shelter." More context would be wonderful.
 * 8) **There isn't much more I could add to that, but I did my best.
 * 9) * I trimmed several words from this during my copyediting. If you're borderline, it'd be a good idea to word-count it again.
 * 10) **It's over 1250 words.
 * 11) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:10, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **You too Ataru. Thanks for looking. Darthchristian 01:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 14) *You say she was driven mad by the dark side while a Nightsister, then that she was driven mad by Gethzerion after leaving. Maybe rephrase the first one.
 * 15) *There's a lot of "would impose" and "would hear" type sentences that could be "imposed" or "heard". It's fine once in a while, but just seemed a little overused. Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:32, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Single source, needs no referencing, there are no images of her, and I believe this is over a thousand words. --Darthchristian 8:36, 13 May 2008 (UTC)

Duel on Tython

 * Nominated by: —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 16:59, 15 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Anvil has pounded this one out nicely.

(3 Inq/0 User/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:01, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 08:34, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) As a big fan of Darth Bane, I enjoyed this article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Thanks, Chack. Not to toot my own horn, but it is a great read, based on the content. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 22:33, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the cockpit of Xwing328
 * 2) * "Johun Othone returned with Master Farfalla..." This paragraph doesn't start well. Othone is "returning," but why, what from? Who is he? What's he doing here?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) ***Much better, imo. —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:01, 18 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Question, not objection: "...the two Sith Lords, Bane and Zannah." Was Zannah actually a Sith Lord at this point?
 * 6) **Yes. Shortly afterwards (after he had recovered of course), Bane yelled at her, addressing her as "Darth Zannah".
 * 7) * "Echani Jedi Master and unparalleled lightsaber duelist..." She's obviously not an unparalleled lightsaber duelist, since she was defeated. Consider rewording to simply, "Echani Jedi Weapon Master..." —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:38, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * Thank you for looking, Xwing. If anything else is required, please let me know. —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 11:29, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) * "impressive" is POV, as is "clumsy and mediocre."
 * 2) **Addressed.
 * 3) *"When the dust settled," is a bit cliched and informal.
 * 4) **Addressed.
 * 5) * "While it has never been specified, Valenthyne Farfalla may be a practitioner of the second form of lightsaber combat. While dueling Darth Bane, Farfalla's style was described as elegant and clean, with perfect form. These characteristics are synonymous with those shared by masters of Makashi." - You must source this, and due to that, you'll have to source the entire article.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) *An enjoyable article...perhaps a bit too detailed in spots, but not glaringly so. Good job. Thefourdotelipsis 04:27, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) **Yeah, I know it can come across as overly detailed, sorta play-by-playish, but thats how it had to be done. Otherwise, I'd have been left with telling that five Jedi went in, and no Jedi came out lol. Duels unfortunately sit on that fine line between being either play-by-play, or rather nondescript. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, I definitely enjoyed reading it (the book)! —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 18:10, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) From the Couch of Chack Jadson:
 * 10) * Is there an article for the fortress?
 * 11) **There is now. Addressed.
 * 12) * You use intense twice in the intro.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Why do you have “death himself”?
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * The body starts off a little confusing.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Context on Bane’s orbalisk problem please.
 * 19) **Addressed
 * 20) * In the 1st paragraph of Part 2, explain how Othone was hurting Xaj or remove it.
 * 21) **Addressed. Bit demanding there, aren't we? ;)
 * 22) * Clarify on what the cloaked essence is.
 * 23) **Added "Force" in there, so everyone knows I mean her Force aura. Addressed.
 * 24) * I think the last two paragraphs of the BTS don’t belong here. Either make it more relevant or remove it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:25, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Don't know how to make it more relevant than it already is, so I'll just remove it. Addressed.

Comments
 * I'm ready for you Merciless Hammer, let's go. —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil
 * Please remember to add the "Nominated" tag to your nominations. Thefourdotelipsis 08:30, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
 * My apologies. —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil
 * It's FAnom now ;) 00:24, 21 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review, Fourdot. Everything has been addressed accordingly I believe. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 18:10, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, Chack. If anything else, please let me know. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 20:17, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Conclave on Deneba

 * Nominated by: —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 14:00, 17 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: As nominator.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) I remember helping this when he was only thinking GA... good times, good times. 14:31, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Good show, Tommy. Thefourdotelipsis 06:54, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * For the outcome, also put phyrric Jedi victory, since the Krath did kill a lot of Jedi. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 17:10, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed. Thank you for loooking, Darthchristian. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 16:15, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I think there's a bit too much detail in the "Background" section, particularly in the second paragraph "Arrival on Deneba." The other paragraphs are basically fine, it's just that here you're not really presenting the background so much as you are describing the specific actions of specific actions. That's OK for the conclave itself but it's not quite relevant, given what the article is about. "adding a unique and personal take on an already established story." is POV. Thefourdotelipsis 03:56, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed, and addressed. As always, thank you Fourdot for looking. If there are more, I'll be more than happy to address those as well. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 23:28, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Any particular reason you're not taking this to- oh, wait, you are taking it to FA. Keep up the good work. :P 14:31, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Isn't it "pyrrhic" instead of "phyrric"? (Just a question, not opposing)--Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:56, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Tamizander Rey

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:30, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1,251 words. Definitely didn't imagine this thing would ever see the FAN page.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:27, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Part of a great series on ESB and ROTJ tertiary characters.  Graestan ( Talk ) 20:19, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * "After joining the Rebellion, he served at the secret Echo Base on the Outer Rim Territories ice planet Hoth by 3 ABY as the facility's senior deck officer, responsible for overseeing all docking bay operations." - I'm not sure if there's some punctuation missing here, but the sentence feels like a bit of a run-on. "When Rey attempted to direct Solo to the command center, the smuggler was more interested in the condition of his freighter, the Millennium Falcon, upset to discover, as he learned from Rey, that base technicians were pulled away from working on the ship to address the more dire needs of the snowspeeders." - Same thing here. It's too long, too hard to follow. I may be a simpleton, but there's gotta be other ones out there. Thefourdotelipsis 07:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) *Not to cite the "Big Book of Everything That I Just Lost", but I vaguely recall Solo not wanting anyone working on his ship . . . I'll see if I can find that reference; if I can't, I'll strike this.
 * 3) *Search for Skywalker . . . has some very short paragraphs. Could those be combined at all?
 * 4) *"As Echo Base's senior deck officer, he suggested to the base's command staff that no ship be allowed to leave Hoth until the shield generator was activated despite the resulting flak he received from non-partisan pilots delivering supplies." This is not only the third time this phrase is used, but I'm not catching the incredible relevance to his P&T, unless you're trying to say that he did what he needed to do no matter what anyone thought and are leaving the reader to infer that.
 * 5) *These aren't the most concrete of objections; the article is fairly clean mostly because there's not much there. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:29, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Crappy picture, I'm well aware. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:30, 19 May 2008 (UTC)
 * De-crapified now&hellip;well, somewhat :) I rescanned the picture from the original playing card, managing to get his whole head in it, unlike the previous copy. Likewise, I was able to clean it up a bit and mostly get rid of the distortion which is noticeable on the picture when you blow it up from the original tiny size. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:27, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks, Grey. Hopefully it passes inspection. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:54, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * A screenshot from the film of Rey and Solo arguing would be good, I think. I'll try and get one, but chances are it'll have to be replaced by Culator. Thefourdotelipsis 07:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)

Plooz

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 09:48, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Plooz.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) He's lovably dumb, and can time travel. More Inq must read this.  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 02:34, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:57, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) No lead quote. Also, in the quote for the "Return" section, the all caps "FATHER" seems odd, since comics are in all caps anyway. Please advise. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:18, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Lead quote inserted, and it's in capitals since the word "father" is significantly in the comic, despite being in the bubble as the preceding words. So the capitals are to mimic that extra emphasis. Thefourdotelipsis 23:28, 23 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I'd prefer bolding and italicizing, or something, instead, but it doesn't really matter. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:32, 24 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Spiker

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:32, 24 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: That is all.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 10:40, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * "though they managed to survive by the skin of their teeth." - Is a bit informal. "Spiker knew that the crate alongside the Twi'lek was likely filled with spice, so rather than killing him, suggesting that Gizz allow Whizzer and extension on his debt in exchange for some of the drug, in an effort to goad Gizz into defying Jabba's orders." - Something's missing there. The BTS could maybe do with a little bit more expansion, namely some of the authors who dealt with him, the fact that he's a playable character in Missions, and the fact that his face (at least I think that's his face) differed greatly in the comics from what was shown in the SOTE sourcebook and the Missions card. In fact, the Missions card shows him as having pale skin, not blue. Thefourdotelipsis 08:43, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Should all be addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:11, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'd suggest that an unhelmeted image would be much better than the infobox, also, why aren't there any Tales templates for the Sand Blasted portion? Thefourdotelipsis 12:32, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If anyone wants to tinker with the main image, please feel free; everything I've tried so far -- particularly the unmasked ones -- look off. About Sand Blasted; it's referenced in the Dark Forces Saga, and according to its article it is C-canon. So...I dunno. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:37, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * That would mean that the referenced elements are C-canon. Not the comic itself. Thefourdotelipsis 14:17, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

The Drunk Side

 * Nominated by -- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 02:58, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:' 1,004 words. Wow, who'd have thunk it? :-D

(6 Inqs/0 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. :P Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:17, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Damnit, Wood :P You asked me to review this a week ago, it is your duty to remind me to vote for it when I'm done, too :P lol.  Greyman ( Talk ) 20:28, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:16, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:30, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Thefourdotelipsis 07:26, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6)  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Object Holocron ]]) 11:18, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) You May Dispense with the Pleasantries, Commander, Toprawa is Here to Put You Back on Schedule:
 * 2) *Right then, Mr. Darth...-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:21, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) * You call it a small settlement, but in this next sentence it's a city? These two are not equatable: "preferring to remain there when she visited the city to give"
 * 4) **Addressed; replaced with "colony".
 * 5) * The "previous owner" could use some kind of conjectural article: "when the previous owner"
 * 6) **It isn't necessary to create an article about this for the FAN to pass.
 * 7) ***It is necessary for all featured article nominations to have all objections stricken before passing and becoming featured articles. I've taken the minimal effort required to create the article for you, so that petty bickering and campaigns to have the Inq strike other people's objections won't have to take place. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:05, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * I'm very hesitant to describe it to something as clearly OOU as a horseshoe, when I'm guessing horses don't exactly exist in the SW universe. Simply saying the "U-shaped" whatever would suffice: "horseshoe-shaped bar"
 * 9) **Right. Changed.
 * 10) * If this Valley of the Dark Lords is on Korriban, as I'm assuming, it would be best to add "the local" before it for greater context
 * 11) **Had a shufti; it's been contextified.
 * 12) * Don't be so quick to assume everyone knows who Revan is or what happened to him. "Mindwiped" is very vague, and doesn't describe his condition to the unknowing. Additionally, "the crew of the Ebon Hawk" is just as vague. Context, please: "When the mindwiped Revan, accompanied by the crew of the Ebon Hawk"
 * 13) **Contextified Revan to the point of relevancy, but as to the Hawk and who is aplenty, all comrades save Bastila can be there.
 * 14) * This reads, literally, that "previous owners" is a service. Please reword appropriately: "previous owners"
 * 15) **Amended.
 * 16) * Context, please. What is the Star Map? What is its significance, why does he want it, etc.: "as getting into the Academy was the only way to reach the Valley and the Star Map he suspected was to be found there"
 * 17) **Contextified in an earlier statement, including a link to the Star Forge. Anything more would be fat on the hog.
 * 18) *** This still doesn't give me any idea what the Star Forge is, or why it's significant
 * 19) ****Hence the link, but added another blurb anyway.
 * 20) * Context, please. I don't know who these people are. Who is the former Jedi? Significant expansion required here: "After Revan and Juhani met Dak Vesser in the Valley of the Dark Lords, the former Jedi left for Dreshdae"
 * 21) **Contextified.
 * 22) *** This sentence is still problematic. Context needed for this Juhani, and it's clausal confusion to boot. Revan and Juhani are not "the Sith." Please reword: "After Revan and Juhani met Dak Vesser, a former Jedi who had trained alongside the Cathar Padawan, in the Valley of the Dark Lords, the Sith left for Dreshdae,"
 * 23) ****Fixed again.
 * 24) * What is their quest? Please explain: "not wanting to have anything to do with either of them or their quest"
 * 25) **Should be obvious now; regardless, thus has it been amended.
 * 26) * Increasing examples of assuming the reader knows what this is. Please be careful of this. Explain everything. She defected? Under what circumstances? Context, please: "and the defection of Ban,"
 * 27) **Amended.
 * 28) *** This still is unclear. His "actions" could mean anything. Specify, please: "following Revan's actions"
 * 29) ****Added a link to the Skirmish on Korriban. Contextualizing his actions beyond this is irrelevant to the cantina itself, as they do not apply to it or its history.
 * 30) * This sentence is unencyclopedic, and needs to be removed. We aren't IGN: "However, it is recommended to ignore Juhani's side quest involving the slaver, Xor, until after the battle on the Leviathan."
 * 31) **Pruned.
 * 32) * Additionally, I'm not sure what's in that link about accessing the premium items, but it sounds very game guide-ish, and I'm guessing it's irrelevant. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:07, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) **It is very necessary actually, as it relates to the game's storyline (hence the GameLSmechanics tag) and it's not something you're going to find in the Prima guide.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:15, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) Xadún is here at your request, but expects to be well paid for his services. - 
 * 35) *Due to the level of detail the following sentences possess, they have become very fragmented. Break them down into seperate sentences.
 * 36) **'When the mindwiped and retrained Jedi Revan, accompanied by his comrades aboard the Ebon Hawk, visited the cantina in 3,956 BBY in search of Star Maps, which pointed out the location of the Star Forge, the hidden weapons factory that powered the Sith war effort, he found that his vessel was the subject of admiration among the pilots and crew who frequented the place.'
 * 37) ***Duly broken up.
 * 38) ****This sentence hasn't changed. Maybe your edit was undone. I recommend ending at '...Korriban in 3,956 BBY' Then open the next sentence 'They were searching for star maps to locate the Star Forge...' et al.
 * 39) *****Sorry about that, it's fixed.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 05:49, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) ** 'After Revan and one of his companions, Juhani, met a Sith archeologist named Dak Vesser, a former Jedi who had trained alongside the Cathar Padawan, in the Valley of the Dark Lords, the Sith left for Dreshdae, not wanting to have anything to do with either of them or whatever had brought them to Korriban; he took refuge in the cantina before departing the planet.'
 * 41) ***Broken up and rephrased.
 * 42) * 'Later, after securing a Sith Medallion from the corpse of a Sith student who had killed one of his friends and was threatening another, Revan presented the icon to the Twi'lek instructor Yuthura Ban, who was apprenticed to the Sith Master Uthar Wynn and considered second-in-command at the Academy.' I assume the student was threatening one of Revan's friends? Did Revan find the student as a corpse or do we know who killed him? Clarify this sentence please. It may also need revising once you clarify it i.e. breaking it down like the other overly-long sentences i highlighted.
 * 43) **Clarified; the Sith was threatening bystanders who appeared to have been his friends. Changed to simply "bystanders".
 * 44) *** How did Revan aquire the medallion? did he step in to the conflict and fight the student? what happened to the student afterward? was he killed by Revan or merely flee the cantina? More expansion on this please.
 * 45) * How did Wynn die? Just extend this sentence. Again, may need breaking into 2 sentences after expansion.
 * 46) **Changed "actions" within the link to Skirmish on Korriban to "double-cross and betrayal"; if more is desired, please advise.
 * 47) * Offer some examples of the races in the cantina within the Inhabitants section if you can.
 * 48) **There's only three, really, but they've been added.
 * 49) *** I know this was a little nit-picky, but saying what sort of inhabitandts were there can be useful.
 * 50) * All in all, it's a fair article, but not great. Seems rarther uncomprehensive for FA status. I know it scrapes it's hull over the word limit too. IMHO, GAN would have been a better choice. Darth Xadún  ([[User talk:Darth Xadún| Consult the
 * 1,165 words at latest count. Thank you for reviewing.-- Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 18:45, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) ***Anytime. I've put a few more changes to be done. If you would like anything reviewed in the future, just holler. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 09:51, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 3) * "Ban, who was apprenticed to the Sith Master Uthar Wynn and considered second-in-command at the Academy." Incomplete sentence.
 * 4) * Finish cleaning up the sentence Darth Xadún listed above. Also, I don't like the wording in the following sentence (using two "who" phrases): "The cantina's bartender, who also managed the establishment, was the Rodian Mika Dorin, who had taken over when the previous owner had run afoul of Czerka Corporation."
 * 5) *That is all. —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:54, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) "While seeking clues to the location of that planet's Star Map, an ancient piece of Rakatan technology that provided clues to the location of the Star Forge, the hidden weapons factory that powered the Sith war effort, Revan found that his vessel was the subject of admiration among the pilots and crew who frequented the place." - This is too much of a run-on. In fact, the whole third paragraph of the "History" section has a chronological problem as you tell us that Revan enters, and then you begin telling us what had happened before. This needs to be restructured. This happens in the third paragraph as well, concerning the deals with the Ebon Hawk owners. Thefourdotelipsis 09:45, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I'm pretty sure that the kinks have been ironed out as you requested.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 05:49, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Though we generally avoid "ultimate fate" type closings, some mention should be made of Dreshdae's condition in KOTOR 2. Given the overall condition of the planet in the latter game, it doesn't really require overt speculation to conclude that the cantina was likely closed. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:02, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Grass clippings:
 * 10) * Let's see if we can't break this up, it's rather ponderous: "was a cantina located within the small settlement of Dreshdae on the world of Korriban that operated during the Jedi Civil War."
 * 11) **Did my best with the sentence.
 * 12) * "he had taken over from the bar's previous owner when he ran afoul of Czerka Corporation." – Some clarity as to who had run afoul is required.
 * 13) **Dito.
 * 14) * This clause if a bit long and unwieldy, and could benefit from further punctuation: "preferring to remain there when she visited the colony in order to give final approval to Sith hopefuls who had been given medallions signifying their worthiness to attend the Academy."
 * 15) **Trimmed and broken up.
 * 16) * Mentioning Revan's state in the intro is necessary to avoid confusion.
 * 17) **Done.
 * 18) * This could use a bit more creative punctuation to appear less like a run-on: "At the same time, many freighter crews, who were contracted with the transporting of Sith artifacts off-world from the excavations within the Valley of the Dark Lords, where many of the ancient Sith Lords of Korriban were buried, would loiter at the cantina in between jobs."
 * 19) **Took a shot, please advise if it needs further tweaking.
 * 20) * The Star Forge's significance to the earlier Rakata would be helpful.
 * 21) **Added.
 * 22) * "and those who had owned the vessel previously" should probably go outside the sentence or after some punctuation in a restructured sentence.
 * 23) **Broke the sentence into two.
 * 24) * "It was therefore likely that the cantina ultimately closed when the Sith destroyed themselves in the years following the Jedi Civil War." – It'd probably be better to leave the speculative statement out, or just mention the Sith's actions without the speculation.
 * 25) **Retweaked as best I can.
 * 26) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:36, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) **-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 05:49, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm going to say this as a friendly pre-peer review warning so as to show no ill-will, but please be aware that the article may very well fall under the 1,000 word length requirement after I go through this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:55, 26 May 2008 (UTC)

3B6-RA-7

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 09:14, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is probably one of the best WTS's I've read so far...I mean...two GODV references. TWO.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) This quite an impressive article. I agree totally with 4Dot. One of the best WTS. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 17:04, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) "We can take over the Mos Eisley spaceport!" -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:33, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Aruk Besadii Aora

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:04, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: the first of several Hutt noms I have planned for the summer.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Required a spell-check, but good Enochf 21:45, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thoroughly interesting.  Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:27, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cross medium/author stuff is great.  Thefourdotelipsis 11:56, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) "I'll exercise with you, Dad!"  Graestan ( Talk ) 21:23, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Objections addressed in IRC.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:58, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) I'd like to see the speech bubbles filled in, since they really do detract from the look of it. Other than that, good stuff. - Lord Hydronium 08:35, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) '''From the Sith tablet enscribed by Xadún -
 * 2) * Although 'kajidic' is linked, a brief reference to what it actually is could be done with in either the introduction or the main body.
 * 3) **Added an explanation in the main body, but I think it's unnecessary for the intro and would mess up the flow.
 * 4) * Likewise for 'Vigo'.
 * 5) **Same as above.
 * 6) * 'In that year, however, the operation received its first major hiccup.' - unencyclopedaic terminology. please revise.
 * 7) **Changed to "setback."
 * 8) * 'In 5 BBY, Aruk hired a group of well trained Drell pirates to assassinate Jabba on a trip to Tatooine, but the pirates failed to accomplish their goal.' - How did they fail? or is this not mentioned in the source?
 * 9) **Info added.
 * 10) * 'Kibbick allowed Teroenza free reign to administer the facility, never interfering as long as he was given his share of native nala tree frogs.' Mention that these were used for food, as opposed to a general amphibian collecttion, drug use (as in native tribal cultures), etc.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) **Otherwise - Hutts are not my specialty, Ackbar, but i will review your other Hutt FANs with great anticipation. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 13:10, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Excellent. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:48, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Durga personally slew Jiliac, but in seeking Black Sun's help he had made a grave error." - Could you make just what the error was a little clearer? The next sentence mentions him rising through Black Sun's ranks, and then being killed by the New Republic...that doesn't quite explain why joining Black Sun was an "error." Thefourdotelipsis 10:10, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *Clarified some. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:05, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * "I am Borga Besadii Diori, cousin of Durga Besadii Tai, son of Aruk the Great, brother of Zavval."&mdash;Borga the Hutt in Agents of Chaos II. This doesn't seem to fit into the established family tree at all. Please address this somewhere in the article. --Borsk Fey'lya  Talk 09:47, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I noticed that myself, and was gonna add something to the BtS, but then I realized that I was probably reading it wrong. It can just as easily mean "I am Borga, cousin of Durga, who is the son of Aruk, who is the brother of Zavval." If that makes sense. It's definitely worded badly, though because my second interpretation fits perfectly with the established family tree (and Luceno isn't one to make glaring errors like that) I think it's probably the correct interpretation. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:45, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Gaaaah...can we do something about those empty speech bubbles? They're quite distracting. - Lord Hydronium 04:03, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Boushh

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:16, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) This bounty hunter is my kind of scum.  Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 11:28, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Aside from the current main pic, it's got my support.  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:47, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Love the current main pic. :P Thefourdotelipsis 10:36, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) P&t : 'When hired by Narloch, Boushh left the Herglic gambler for dead when he fled Dalos IV, demonstrating that he cared more for his own skin than survival.' Isn't caring for one's own skin the same as survival? Or have i misinterpreted this?
 * 2) *Fixed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:38, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * You say that Boussh et al captured Justiss...I thought the picture just said that he was confronted by them. "hordes of facial scars" - Is that really the collective? :P Thefourdotelipsis 10:55, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Fixed and fixed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:04, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can you use an unmasked picture of him in the infobox? Since we have ones of decent quality, and the masked one is literally a repurposed image of Leia (I know in its canonical use it's of Boushh, but it does make the point of how vague masked pictures are), I think this is a case where an unmasked shot would be far superior. - Lord Hydronium 21:50, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I disagree. As Boushh rarely removes his helmet, and the masked picture is instantly more recognisable, it makes things easier for user reference. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I would tend to agree with Xadun, though I don't really care too much either way. I think the fact that the unmasked one is less than 250px should rule it out. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:38, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, the masked one is more recognizable as Leia, since that's how most people have seen "Boushh". The fact that Leia-as-Boushh and helmeted Boushh look identical to the point that a picture of the former is used for the latter I think is a good indication of how ambiguous the helmeted picture is. Acky: There might be a better sized one in the strip; if that can be found, would you have any objection to changing it? - Lord Hydronium 02:51, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nope, but I'm fairly sure there isn't a bigger one. If that option isn't available, what about using the coloured picture from later on the bio for the infobox? That would at least alleviate the "Leia" issue. Either way, I don't mind, and we can use the smaller, unmasked one if necessary. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:06, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Ozzel cropped a wider version of the unmasked, so I switched the two. - Lord Hydronium 20:36, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Valarian

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:48, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This'll probably be my last nom for three weeks or so.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well, if it isn't the lovely and talented&mdash;GAHHH!!  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 13:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:45, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the notebook of Darthchristian:
 * 2) * The second sentence in the intro is a run-on. Please correct this.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Are the dashes around, "young for a whipid" needed? The same for the monks later in the article as well.
 * 5) **Well, I don't think commas would work and brackets seem to be disliked by most FAreviewers, so I'm not sure there's any other option. Changed the B'omarr one, though I'm not sure it looks right.
 * 6) ***If thats the case, then yeah, change it back. It was more like a question than an obbjection.
 * 7) * In, "...old cargo hauler which had previously...," please change which to that. It doesn't read right with which.
 * 8) **Changed.
 * 9) *"...despite Jabba's objections; the Hutt responded...," change the semi colon to a comma and add "and" after it.
 * 10) **Why?
 * 11) ***I really don't think semi-colons work here. It makes it seem like you're just trying to get the info in and it doesn't quite read right when you do that.
 * 12) *After you did that, "to attack the Lucky Despot and its patrons and also attempted to...," Seperate the sentence after "patrons" so it isn't a run-on.
 * 13) **See above,
 * 14) ***See previous explanation above.
 * 15) *"...former players for Jabba the Hutt, they were her favorite musical group...," doesn't make sense. Change it to, "She hired famed musician Max Rebo and his band, former players for Jabba the Hutt and Valerian's favorite musical group, to provide entertainment for the wedding.
 * 16) **It does make sense, and, IMHO, reads better than the alternative. Perhaps others could chime in?
 * 17) ***Its sort of like the previous objection. If that sentence I suggested really doesn't work, just change "they were" to and.
 * 18) * After the Modal Nodes are first mentioned, use a period after it and seperate that sentence into two. It read a lot better after that.
 * 19) **Again, I don't see the need and I think it looks better as is.
 * 20) ***I see your point. Again, more of a suggestion than objection.
 * 21) * Add "and" after "Jabba's various henchmen," and before, "dozens of guests."
 * 22) **That wouldn't make sense.
 * 23) * ou don't pluralize guests in the wedding section.
 * 24) **Done now.
 * 25) * After "later," put a when after the comma.
 * 26) **I'm not sure which "later" you're referring to, but adding "when" after any of them wouldn't make sense.
 * 27) ***Wow, I totally meant to delete this objection. I thought it might work, typed it down, but found later it didn't work. Sorry.
 * 28) * You don't need the parenthesis around, "who had been rehired to play in Jabba's court."
 * 29) **Changed.
 * 30) * There is an article for Shiri'ani, right?
 * 31) **Yes; now linked to.
 * 32) *Though this isn't a valid objection, can you please make an article for those redlinks? It just makes everything better.
 * 33) **Well, I don't see the point in making two one-sentence articles which could be far better. I'll get around to Herogga eventually, since I plan to GA him someday.
 * 34) ***Very true. Just trying to improve it further.
 * 35) * In the P&T, I wouldn't use the word disrespected, after what happened at the wedding. Use a word that well represents the fiasco.
 * 36) **Better?
 * 37) ***Yep.
 * 38) *Very well written article otherwise. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 16:48, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thank you. I will try to get these addressed later this evening, though I will say that, for a lot of them, it would have been easier to fix them yourself than list them here. No worries, though. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:21, 26 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) ***I realize that now. For the most part though, they were grammar stuff that I thought should take here first though, to get feedback on whether it sounded right. Darthchristian  ( Hey! ) 11:04, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) Some mention should be made of the Dragon's Spine (asteroid field). --Eyrezer 13:00, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a BTS item about her name.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 13:31, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Cay Qel-Droma

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk)
 * Nomination comments: My first WP:TOTJ article.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well done Mr. Jadson. —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 21:11, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:41, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The Anvil:
 * 2) * Minor:For the Great Sith War section, I'd add another image, so as to balance them out. I would've said just to move the next image (Ulicqeldromaversuscay.JPG) to the left, but that will displace the section header. If you need a good one to add, you know where to get'em!;) I'd use this one (Cayqel-dromaHS.jpg), since it actually is the image that corresponds with the section quote. Up to you though.
 * 3) **Funnily enough, I thought about adding another image there but decided against it. Anyway, added one.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:21, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Also, I would change the image (Image:Cay qel droma.jpg) for the "First mission" section, only because it depicts Cay with his prosthesis, which he didn't have yet at that point in the story.
 * 5) **Wow, I thought about that too, but decided not to change it. Replaced that image now though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:39, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *** I'll find you a good one, one that depicts him pre-prosthesis ;) —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 21:17, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Indeed, Mr. Jadson, this article has come a long way! It's been polished nicely from the nonsense that it was before you stepped on the scene. I'm glad to be working on this project with you ;) —Tommy ( Clean face and hands ) The Anvil 16:19, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *The reason everyone is referred to by first name is that that's how it's done in the comic.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:21, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Thanks for the reviews guys.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:09, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Wraith Squadron

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wraith awaiting launch orders.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Also working on redlinks, me.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:42, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:30, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Yes, I know about the redlinks. I'm working on it.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) You've got an unsourced quote in their somewhere: Eurrsk Thri'ag. And you should be consistent with periods or without periods at the end of the description. --Eyrezer 04:06, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Quote sourced. Which periods are you referring to? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:28, 28 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **This is with regard to quotes. Sometime you end the quote attribution with a period and sometimes you don't. --Eyrezer 23:19, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Ah, I see. Pesky periods popped. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From Greyman:
 * 7) * In the Equipment section, under the Starfighter subsection, it's written "Years later, in the Yuuzhan Vong War, the Wraiths continued to fly X-wing starfighters&hellip;". I'm not sure, so I thought I'd ask, but it is known if they flew the XJ series during that time? Or is it not mentioned in the NJO novels? I can't remember, so I thought I'd ask. This isn't an objection, per se, since the section with regards to the X-wing is written fine, but it's just a little detail that caught my eye that might be worth including if need be.
 * 8) **Heh, I've learned that it is not mentioned, remarkably enough, what type of X-wing they flew. They must have been the odd-balls out in the series, then :P Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 02:06, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Yeah, it's not stated. Except for Enemy Lines, they pretty much get cameos. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The pictures in the "Members" section also caught my eye. For some of them, you give captions and information, and then others there are just the pilots names present. I'd suggest choosing to add information for each picture, or just have the name for each picture. Or, you could drop the names/captions choice entirely and just use the code [[Image:randomname.jpg|left|150px]] (or just leave out the "left", which defaults the picture right), thus cutting out the thumbnail entirely. I have some ideas for the formatting of this section to streamline the appearance, but I didn't want to do anything which would take away from your initial vision without first consulting you ;) Anyways, whatever you decide to do, just let me know and this objection shall be struck.
 * 11) **I tweaked all of the captions to have a brief description of that person's tasks so the reader could get an idea of who they were "on the fly", so to speak. If you have some other ideas, please let me know via the usual channels. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:18, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Looks much better. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:30, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *After some minor touch ups, I have no complaints with the main article; it is well done :) Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:45, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Ref punctuation errors galore! Refs with no spaces after them before the next sentence, refs before commas, and, worst of all, multiple instances of refs with commas on both sides. (Ew!) As one might say: "A rather sloppy nom... Did you forget to copyedit?" ;-) -- Ozzel 10:00, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *I'll take a look-and it has nothing to do with the copyediting I gave it. Links and ref syntax I generally let AWB deal with, since that's what it's for, so I didn't even look at those. TBH, I could really care less as long as the refs aren't broken. When I'm reading 250 KB of article, ref punctuation is never a high priority.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Took a stab at it and cleaned some things up. Let me know what you think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:37, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Bah. Your priorities break my little Grammar Nazi heart. :-p Anyway, looks much better now. Good work. -- Ozzel 03:08, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ****I'll send you a bandage and a little stuffed Ewok to cheer you up. :-P Thanks for the catch, though-the double commas around the refs looked particularly awful and I picked up on a few other things. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:49, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to Goodwood for tossing in a few quotes and a couple member sections.
 * The Narra is referred to as "the Narra" throughout Allston's books.
 * Ditto with "the Ugly Truth" and "the Hawkbat.
 * The segment where Lara Notsil is referred to by first name is intentional; two Notsils are being discussed at that point in the article and it's confusing to use their last names and stupid to use their whole names. So please don't place that on merciless hammers or cubicles or forests or bridges or what-have-you. Then again, you probably knew all this anyway. ;-)
 * The images are, AFAIK, all that are available besides individual member portraits, which I didn't feel like including since everyone has a picture at the bottom. Allston wasn't writing comic books, after all.
 * No new info in the Fact Files or the Who's Who. Still need to re-read the Gamer article, but I'll adjust accordingly once I've got it.
 * It's, uh, short. Very short. It'll only take you a little bit to read this article, so go ahead. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:11, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If you need a copy of the Gamer article, let me know, Ataru. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 01:45, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Dude...shame on you for not using the Legendary Image of Horse Pilotness. Shame! Thefourdotelipsis 13:54, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Czulkang Lah

 * Nominated by: Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Enemy Lines is the best of the NJO books.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:41, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:35, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * I'm pretty sure Czulkang Lah was never stated to be in charge of the invasion of the Galaxy. (intro)
 * 3) **That was a cheeky inference due to his rank as warmaster. I am ashamed, and it is gone Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Might want to mention the Starlancer Project in the intro, because that's the reason Tsavong Lah demands a hasty assault.
 * 5) **See what you think
 * 6) * Checked Enemy Lines II and found that "the" is not typically used in front of Lusankya. Please revise as necessary. Same with Mon Mothma.
 * 7) **Feels weird, but it's gone.
 * 8) ***I agree, but meh, it's policy.
 * 9) * Might want to link to the Goddess missile.
 * 10) **It is done (pipelink at the end of "Final engagement")
 * 11) * It might be worth it to note that Lah was compared to Garm bel Iblis, whom the Vong saw as the New Rep's pre-eminent tactician.
 * 12) **Put it in the P&T, it works quite nicely there.
 * 13) *Glad to see you're back and giving Czulkang Lah a new look. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:32, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks, it's good to be back! I'll try my hand at Tsavong eventually...cheers for the review Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Maybe not when my browser is so mind-numbingly slow...Harrar 15:22, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
 * If you're using Internet Explorer, get rid of it. Use Firefox. Unless of course you're referring to your internet connection itself. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it's Internet Explorer that's the problem, yeah - it was taking about half a minute to type yesterday. Thanks for the advice. Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm away until next Friday but I'll immediately address objections on my return. Thanks Harrar 14:07, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Shadowspawn

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:06, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'm certifiable! :D

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) He's a madman, I say! - Lord Hydronium 10:32, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) This page is going to be a rampage in October. Darthchristian 17:50, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 11:55, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Oh boy.....
 * 2) * "The first death of Emperor Palpatine allowed Shadowspawn to return from exile and put his plans into motion." The sentence just seems to come out of nowhere, making the paragraph seem choppy, and also doing nothing to lead the biography into the next section. Try, "After Emperor Palpatine's first death, Shadowspawn was able to return from exile and put his plans into motion."
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Can you try to elaborate on the mass suicides of the royal guards? Because I had never known them to commit suicide after Palpatine's death right, and its just confusing.
 * 5) **I don't think we know anything more about that, I'm just going by Evil Never Dies.
 * 6) * No source explains how Mindor was strategically important? If there is, please explain how it was important.
 * 7) **We'll find out in October. :P
 * 8) * Also, can you add that he was able to create an army of shadow stormtroopers? You just jump right ahead and say that Shadowspawn deployed his shdowtroopers without explaining a thing about them.
 * 9) **Ditto here. We don't really know the context of Shadowspawn's use of the guards, nor do we know if he created them, or took from from Blackhole, etc. So, again...October.
 * 10) *Other than that, it was a fantastic article, Fourdot. Darthchristian 02:38, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you. Thefourdotelipsis 08:00, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I'll get the info when the book comes out. You have no idea how excited I am for his book. No. Idea. Also, if you're thinking "Hey, I just read this" if you just read Atha, well...my thoughts exactly. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 10:06, 30 May 2008 (UTC)

Jorj Car'das

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:53, 30 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Co-project with AdmirableAckbar.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:04, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Janeway 09:29, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * I'm a touch concerned by the fact that there's nothing cited to Galaxies here. I played the game briefly a few years ago and Car'das' faction was...well, everywhere in the opening levels...I could be mistaken, but I'm sure there's pertinent information to be found in that game. Apologies if I'm wrong, though. Thefourdotelipsis 01:08, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, AFAIK, it's just his organization in the game, and not Car'das himself. Seeing as though he was in the Kathol Rift by the time of Galaxies and was not playing a part in the running of the organization, I doubt there's really anything to be added. I'll have a look around for anything, though. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:30, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Oh, he wasn't running the organization. That explains it. And it'll teach me to maybe read the damn thing first. :P Thefourdotelipsis 14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * The crew of the Bargain Hunter needs a smidgin of context in intro please.
 * 3) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "who believed that Quennto had as secret treasure hold". I almost changed this to "had a secret treasure hold", but I wasn't 100% sure that's what you were aiming for, just 95%.
 * 5) **You were right.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * I believe Progga's crew provoked the Chiss, but I could be wrong. Couldn't hurt to be a little more specific there.
 * 7) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "After being held for awhile, Thrawn spoke to them". Sorry, but there's a confusing antecedent for that first phrase and it's making a rather funny mental image.
 * 9) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * No context given on the Geroons upon first mention.
 * 11) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "although Thrawn believed they were not good omens." That doesn't make a lot of sense to me in its context. Particularly since Thrawn isn't superstitious.
 * 13) **Changed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "staring down Kav until he ordered the droid to stand down."
 * 15) **Thought I got that earlier. Fixed now.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * The quotes in the Outbound Flight (novel) sections have very little to do with Car'das. Please remedy this.
 * 17) **That's because they are no good quotes. Would you recommend I remove them? I know we don't need quotes for all parts, I just prefer it that way.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I'll try and dig up some better ones. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * No context on Miskara.
 * 20) **Well, it mentioned the leader just words earlier, so I feel the reader could make an extrapolation. Nonetheless, changed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Uh, Outbound Flight was not "utterly destroyed."
 * 22) **I can't find that. Could you point it out?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Sure. "The starfighters had the Vagaari almost entirely defeated when they suddenly changed course and attacked Outbound Flight, utterly destroying it." End of a paragraph beginning with "Car'das firmly believed he would die in the ship." Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Thanks. Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:20, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * You're inconsistent between Outbound Flight and "the Outbound Flight". The former is preferred IIRC.
 * 26) **That's because one if referring to the ship and another to the project, the concept. I believe all the times it's talking about the ship is italicized. If you mean we alternate between using the, it's fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * The assassination attempt on Thrawn by Kav is a bit too long considering it has very little to do with Car'das. If it does pertain to Car'das, his role needs to be more heavily expounded upon.
 * 28) **Removed it. It is fairly trivial to Car'das.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * No link to Force healing or whatever it is?
 * 30) **I wouldn't say it's exactly a Force power, so no. We can discuss this though; on IRC or here.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Meh, I was under the impression Yoda used the Force to heal Car'das. Whatever. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:27, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) ****He did, but I'm not sure if it warrants an article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:20, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * Might be important to note that Car'das never actually heard the name Luke Skywalker from Yoda's mouth. The article implies otherwise.
 * 34) **Good catch.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Link to destruction of Caamas.
 * 36) **Got ya.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * No context on Trey David
 * 38) **Now there is.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) * The Empire didn't actually ruin Emberlene. It was a group of mercs, but the article implies otherwise.
 * 40) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:27, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) * No context on Dean Jinzler. When I ask for a little context, a few words or a phrase is plenty. I don't need an exposition, just a basic understanding to serve as a lead-in.
 * 42) **Fixed.
 * 43) *A rather sloppy nom, Chack and Ackbar, at least coming from you. Did you guys forget to copyedit? Anyway, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:21, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) **We were kind of just tired of having it near-complete, but not quite done, and I suppose my copyedit was done in haste. I thought I put it through a spell-check but I guess not. Anyway, I was before this. JK. Thanks for the review.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:45, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) There is a mention at page 182 and 183 of The New Essential Guide to Characters that should be added. Janeway 18:44, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) *Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:50, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * His "Affiliation" field in the infobox looks like it is missing a few mentions? Not enough for me to object, if there was a reason you didn't include the obvious ones. Just thought I'd point it out, Greyman ( Talk ) 01:32, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm hesitant about adding anything other than his organization because he was very loosely affiliated with them. The Chiss, Republic, NR, he had little connection with them. I suppose I could put in the Sith though. Thanks for the review Greyman and Atarumaster.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:09, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Cane Adiss

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 08:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Governor lady said "I'm sending in more trains!"

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Following IRC based objections, arguements, and eventual realisation of wrongness. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 10:23, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I have reviewed this article and give it my stamp of approval. For what it's worth. jSarek 07:56, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:25, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Secret Rebel Base of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * Not sure if the part about the ship being able to contain his bulky body is needed.
 * 3) **Normally, no, but it is a plot point in this case, since few ships were actually able to do the job. And later on he has to try and buy one which is big enough for him and is more expensive and so on and so forth.
 * 4) * "...much to the disappointment his parental collective." A word is missing and some context on a prental collective might be needed. I think it would go better here than in the intro because it wouldn't interrupt the flow.
 * 5) **Added that missing word. As for the parental collective, there really isn't any more info on them, at least, not that I'm aware of.
 * 6) * "...a solid set of piloting skills." I don't like the way this is phrased.
 * 7) **Rephrased.
 * 8) * "...which is what greeted the smuggler..." I assume you meant which greeted.
 * 9) **Kinda. I've rephrased that again, but I'm not totally positive that the new wording works.
 * 10) *Nice work overall. This John Hazlett fellow created quite an interesting character.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:05, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 14:12, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Any time.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:15, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 9... Thefourdotelipsis 08:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Bevel Lemelisk

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Paunchy Spiky-Haired Super Designer Maniac Racial Stereotypes Are Go!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1) I love having 4dot on WP:NEGTC. :-)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:59, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Does Galaxy Guide actually call him an architect? He seems to be more of a designer or engineer, so the label seems a bit inaccurate imho. Maybe I'm being too literal.
 * 3) **It does indeed.
 * 4) * "During a lapse worker "enthusiasm," Vader payed Tarkin and Lemelisk a visit." Several problems with this sentence. It doesn't seem to make much sense, and I believe the verb is "paid", unless I'm horribly wrong.
 * 5) **Gah. Yes it is. I've rejigged the sentence as well.
 * 6) * Should there be a link to Transfer essence in there?
 * 7) **Didn't even know that existed. It's in there now.
 * 8) *Other than those minor details, article looks good. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 00:27, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 10! Thefourdotelipsis 14:04, 31 May 2008 (UTC)

Beryl Chiffonage

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:05, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 00:46, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 01:22, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) (Thunderer 02:20, 11 June 2008 (UTC))
 * 1) Stuff:
 * 2) * I'd like to see maybe two of the first three sections merged; they all seem a bit short.
 * 3) **Merged the second and third.
 * 4) * The development of Rogue Doctrine (or at least the parts relevant to Credal) should come before Credal's disapearance in the bio, in order to avoid confusion.
 * 5) **Reordered.
 * 6) * Since pretty much anything can from Alliance Intelligence Reports can be used as quotes, a few quotes in the bio/P&T would be greatly appreciated.
 * 7) **Added quote to the P&T. If you have any other quote suggestions you'd like to see, please let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:55, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Lastly, perhaps an image of an AT-AT being downed for the "Battle of Hoth" section?
 * 9) **You read my mind. I wanted to show the exact same thing. I'll see what I can do. If anyone wants to grab an image, cool. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:24, 3 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Nice work. Bland character. :-P -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * There is only one available image for this guy, from Who's Who in Echo Base in Insider 74. If anyone can grab that image for this article, that would be great. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. (Although it ain't exactly pretty.) -- Ozzel 07:15, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * It'd probably be good to also find him in the film itself, and put a screencap of that in there, to serve as confirmation as well as illustration. Thefourdotelipsis 08:08, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * The only real image of him is a tiny appearance over Rieekan's shoulder, which is where this infobox pic comes from, zoomed in on him. I don't know how well it would work. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:21, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't think it would hurt, as long as the caption pointed him out. Thefourdotelipsis 04:32, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

Paltr Carvin

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 11:59, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He's got gloves!

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 00:58, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 14:46, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:50, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium 09:46, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * Image:Tribunemeeting.JPG and Image:Paltrcarvinfate.JPG could benefit from re-scans. --Imperialles 12:36, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Oh sure, 4dot, let it sound like his idea. :-p Anyway, did the first one, but the latter's a no-can-do, as her face goes into the spine. -- Ozzel 23:15, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Ozz has now replaced the second image. Thefourdotelipsis 01:03, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Stuff:
 * 4) * I think a bit about the situation immediately post-Endor merits inclusion. Okay, I know we don't explicitly know that Carvin was on the council before Mandatory Retirement, but a mention of how Isard became the middle (wo)man between the Council and Pestage, probably as well as Palpatine's death, carefully worded, would IMHO really improve the opening paragraph.
 * 5) **I have mentioned Palpatine's death there already, but what kind of detail are you looking for here? Just a brief mention of Isard's role post-Endor?
 * 6) ***I added a little bit myself. Feel free to alter or remove it if you don't like it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Ooh, yes, I like that. Good stuff, thanks. Thefourdotelipsis 11:35, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * I'm no expert in this, but some sections seem at least a little play-by-play. A few things like "Isard calmly said that she understood" seem a bit over-detailed. See if you can cut it down wherever prudent.
 * 9) **I've removed that sentence altogether, but a lot of it is important, since it's a matter of who rules the galaxy. If you have any other specific examples, I'll see what I can do about them. Thefourdotelipsis 00:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Looks okay. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:23, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Perhaps the image of Carvin on his knees would be a better replacement for the image in "Fall." There's something odd-looking about that one.
 * 12) **We have top men working on it.
 * 13) ***New image in there now. Thefourdotelipsis 01:03, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **Great work. Interesting character. The Rise of Isard arc is definitely one of my favorite things in the EU. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:25, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Danke. Thefourdotelipsis 00:31, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) Has an unsourced succession box down the bottom. --Eyrezer 05:35, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *Gah, someone added that while I wasn't looking. Removed. Thefourdotelipsis 05:57, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From the Command Bridge of Director Thrawn.
 * 19) * No details of what Isard's proof actually was.
 * 20) **Added
 * 21) * No details with how Pestage specifically came to be deposed.
 * 22) **Well, he flees, they take control. The specifics of it end up delving into Isard's machinations, and that's too far removed from Carvin's story.
 * 23) ***Makes no mention of him actually escaping Imperial Center to Ciutric, nor does it specifically list what he and the rest of the Tribune tell her she specifically has to do on Imperial Center as opposed to going to Ciutric.
 * 24) ****The thing about him escaping is added, but they don't really task her with those specific things, they're just mocking her.
 * 25) * Needs some more elaboration with Isard's meetings with the Tribunal, not much but some.
 * 26) **It's as elaborated as can be. If I went any further with it, it would turn into a play-by-play.
 * 27) **I suppose I should have been more specific: Isard's actions with the Ciutric debacle, and the Tribune's reaction needs just a little more. It seems a little thin to me.
 * 28) ***It really can't be any fatter, and if I do expand it, it starts extending too far beyond Carvin's story.
 * 29) * If the IRC is part of the Empire, why is it listed as separate in the infobox.
 * 30) **It's not, it's staggered under the Empire's listing. Thefourdotelipsis 13:13, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * More details on Carvin and the Tribune's specific feelings toward Isard's interferrance.
 * 32) *Other than that I suppose it looks good.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 12:33, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Motion to strike above objection by Imperialles
 * 1) Objection's been there for over a week, message was left on talk page. Thefourdotelipsis 08:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Lord Hydronium 09:06, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:13, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Once again, unattended objections must die. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:46, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Keleman Ciro

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:58, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another DarkStryder nom

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 14:45, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * You have two templates in the Appearances/Sources sections. I completely understand why you have it that way, due to the nature of the short story and whatnot, but I'd suggest removing the tag from the The DarkStryder Campaign in the Sources, and just leaving the tag alone that is on The Saga Begins.
 * 3) **Removed as per suggestion.
 * 4) * Your succession box at the very bottom of the article needs to be sourced. Names, dates, etc.
 * 5) **D'oh! Sourced.
 * 6) * In the BtS you say "Although much of the campaign&hellip;" Is that in reference to The DarkStryder Campaign? Or the entire RPG campaign (including the other Darkstryder adventures, etc.)? Could you rewrite that part to make it clear for the reader, if possible? Thanks.
 * 7) **I meant the entire campaign, but it is unclear. Reworded.
 * 8) *Other than those few things, the article is well done. Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 20:47, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thank you :) - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:52, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) This is minor, but throughout the article, you've got double-spacing. Can you change these to single spacing? :)
 * 11) *My bad - I'm so used to writing in double spacing. Fixed.
 * 12) Also it appears we can narrow his birth year down to a small range. Can you add it to the infobox similar to how it is handled in Jonas Stern? --Eyrezer 22:55, 1 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Done - I've given it an age range of five years unless you think this could be brought down further? - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:52, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **That looks fine. --Eyrezer 04:59, 3 June 2008 (UTC)

Adas

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 12:50, 2 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Say when...

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work. Fits in well with the rest of WP:TOTJ's articles. Glad to have you as guest writer.  Graestan ( Talk ) 17:05, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:01, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Superbly written.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:56, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * Since I always like a sentence to set the scene, how about something mentioning being born sometime before the Republic was formed on Korriban (if we know that) before launching into the skin colour bit.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Should Pre-Republic era not be in the infobox and have the little era icon? Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:28, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **I was under the impression that we only used the publishing eras for the icons and the eras field. We do for every other era. Thefourdotelipsis 08:30, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Generally, yes. But since there isn't a publishing era for that period, we've always used pre-Republic era before, including at least two existing FAs (Star Map and Pre-Republic era itself). I thought we generally follow precedent unless there's consensus to change it. Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:12, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****I've added an era and an icon, but not the silly Pre-Republic era ones. Instead I've used the Old Republic ones, which Pre-Republic content actually falls under, as per Leland Chee here. And I think Chee trumps precedent. :P Thefourdotelipsis 09:04, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Guest nom for WP:TOTJ. Uh...full...steam...ahead? Thefourdotelipsis 12:50, 2 June 2008 (UTC)

Bodo Baas

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 09:14, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:19, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:23, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) You use the phrase "millions of data" at one point. I believe something is missing from there.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:23, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *That was Borsk who added that, but "data" is plural, so I believe it's a grammatical construction. - Lord Hydronium 22:58, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I don't like it. Could you please make a minor change?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:22, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***But... it's not wrong. -- Ozzel 09:40, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****"Points of data" or "data points" are the usual phrases for constructions like this. (And I don't care what overzealous English teachers keep trying to claim, "data" and "media" have both become collective nouns in English and should be treated as such.) jSarek 12:49, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ******I blame my English teacher. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:19, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Leia should be referred to as "Organa Solo", not "Solo." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:44, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *I've checked, and she is canonically referred to as just "Solo" (The Unseen Queen). - Lord Hydronium 10:49, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Bah! -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:40, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I can't find who voiced him in the audio drama. If anyone knows, that would be a great help. - Lord Hydronium 09:15, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I think there was another discrepancy in the EGtC that claimed the Bodo Baas holocron and the Vodo-Siosk Baas holocron were separate and that one survived Dark Empire. You could/should probably add this in to the BTS. --Eyrezer 11:34, 4 June 2008 (UTC)

Gantoris

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 19:48, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes, at long last I have written another thing I feel worthy of FAN. My thanks to 4dot, Tommy and Jaymach for the sourcing.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose
 * 1) I think I was the one that did it, but that infobox image really needs work. There is also a quote in the body of the text that should be removed or moved to a header. Also you need to source the infobox. --Eyrezer 03:09, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Quote altered. I knew I'd forgotten something but just couldn't see it for some reason, and the infobox sourcing was it. Thanks! As for the image, I've asked for a litle assistance below, since my image skills are, shall we say, non-existant? Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 07:26, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The second last para of the bio lacks sourcing for its final statement. --Eyrezer 21:56, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Smeg. sourced. Also, thanks for the image enhancement.
 * 5) Some pointers, which I have mostly addressed myself
 * 6) * In my copy of Dark Apprentice, Exar Kun says "I want your anger, Gantoris.", rather than "I want your anger, Gantoris!". Misquote, wishful thinking, different source? I'm not sure.
 * 7) **Mistakenly wishful thinking - writing the quote how i thought it should be written. Altered.
 * 8) * Up till 100, write out numbers as words, such as three, for 3 corusca gems
 * 9) **Curses. Thanks for altering.
 * 10) * More linking, such as runyip, the battle of Dantooine where Daala attacks the colonists. Most things can be linked, I find.
 * 11) **Are there other things that are missing linkage?
 * 12) ***I don't think so. Good stuff. Harrar 09:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Instead of hyphons, you want to use &mdash; I changed this for you
 * 14) **Err... Is this a set policy or just your personal preference?
 * 15) ***Well &"mdash"; and &"hellip";, I thought, were the proper wikia ways to do hyphons and ellipsis. I believe it's just the done thing, but feel free to go and check it out elsewhere. Harrar 09:03, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I recommend expansion on Gantoris' rivalry with Horn, esp. the lifting of the rock episode.
 * 17) **I've expanded this in the Bio, by extracting and expanding relevant parts from the P&t. I've ad too.
 * 18) * Mention Warton, who Gantoris appears to have known from birth. It's his death that really guts Gantoris. Also mention the futile lightsaber strike on the wall against Kun.
 * 19) **Aah. Good point. Warton and lightsaber futility added.
 * 20) * Legacy section? There seem plenty of after death details.
 * 21) ** I've separated the final section into a "Legacy" part and added a little, but there's not much I can add to it.
 * 22) *Good stuff, Xadún. Harrar 16:23, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks for the review! Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:27, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) From Greyman:
 * 25) *Gantoris actually has a role, albeit very minor, in the story Firestorm. I see it listed in the "Appearances" section, but don't currently see any info on it in the article. If you need help with obtaining a copy of the story, let me know :) Greyman ( Talk ) 18:54, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) From the Preliminary Hearings of Chack Jadson:
 * 27) *The only part I read was the BTS, which I changed a little for you, but I suggest you change the source for the part about Exar's name never being spoken in the narration. JA narration works, just not Dark Apprentice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:02, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can someone please assist with an improved copy of the Infobox image, per Eyrezer's request? Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 07:26, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Culator took care of it. --Eyrezer 08:44, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

First Battle of Onderon (Naddist Uprising)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy''' ( There are no Jedi here ) 14:42, 5 June 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Another one of my cellphone butters...

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
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Oppose

Comments
 * May be a little rough (my mind & talents have been elsewhere), but it shouldn't be anything that can't be easily remedied. —Tommy ( There are no Jedi here ) 14:42, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

Kai Justiss

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:40, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: (toots horn loudly)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) *Ackbar says:
 * 2) **" The Count insisted that he was no monster hell bent on the destruction of the Jedi." -- This looks a bit informal, and doesn't read well, IMHO.
 * 3) ***Yah, fixed.
 * 4) **" The name was coined by Corroney and Justiss." -- The world just imploded. :-P I would've fixed it myself, but I'm not sure who "Justiss" is meant to be.
 * 5) ***Hmm. I'm doing this a lot these days, which is a huge worry. Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 14:11, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Good work. Interesting character, interesting article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:59, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Three more little things:
 * 8) * I'd like a bit more context for the Battle of Geonosis, something like what I've done on Voolvif Monn/Pablo-Jill.
 * 9) **Hmm, well, on Monn at least, your info is a touch inaccurate: Kenobi's the one that sends out the distress signal. Still, good idea, I've added it now.
 * 10) ***Bah. Fixed now.
 * 11) * Also, for the very end of the bio, you should clarify that Boushh, Zuckuss and Breela (as well as several other hunters), actually engaged Justiss in combat, and that he killed many of them, etc. As it's written at present, it just says Crimson Nova sent the bounty hunters after them.
 * 12) **Not positive that the image tells us that he killed anyone, but I've added some context there.
 * 13) ***True, but you know what I mean. :-P Good work.
 * 14) * Also, though these aren't objections per se, I'd like to see an image added to the BtS, since we have plenty of them and he's an image-centric character, and also perhaps a quote from Joe Correney's blog in the BtS. Again, good work. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:42, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Added a quote, but in terms of an image I'd really like a picture of Chung or of Trevas' drawing of Justiss...but I can't seem to find either at the moment. Thefourdotelipsis 15:41, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Fair enough. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * The full citation tags, with images, look odd in citation #5, where you actually write out sentences. -LtNOWIS 15:14, 6 June 2008 (UTC)

Raygar

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 15:32, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
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Comments

Shedao Shai

 * Nominated by: Harrar 00:03, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Yes, it’s the 40th nomination, it’s another character, and it probably won’t pass for ages. But his article was a pitiful 264 words long, he’s important, and Stackpole gave a lot of info! So here goes&mdash;enjoy (hopefully). My next nom will break my character trend, I promise&hellip;

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Comments
 * To me, the last sentence in the BtS doesn't really seem necessary. If you think otherwise, that's cool, but I think if you're going to have it, then there should be some substance to it. Just a suggestion, Greyman  @wikia ( Talk ) 00:34, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * No, you're right. I think I was trying to suggest that he was a large part of the series, but that's pretty obvious from his mentions and the article anyway. Harrar 09:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * "My next nom will break my character trend, I promise&hellip;" You're going to FA the Yuuzhan Vong War? Great idea Harrar! :p --Eyrezer 02:08, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Well I was thinking of the Battle of Dantooine first, but yeh, the Yuuzhan Vong War is the dream goal! Harrar 09:24, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Seha Dorvald

 * Nominated by: Darthchristian 21:57, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: According to Fourdot, this is over a thousand words....it better be. =P

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Comments

The Epic Continues

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:05, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: (puffs cigarette) "...so I says to myself, look, Four Dot, they're not going for the IU stuff. Yanowotimeen? It's like there's feces or something on them, and no one's touching them. I mean, I have to shift this stuff, but there's not much you can do, knowotimeen? So I says, see here, I'll give em something to write home about. Y'see? Like, I'm finking, give 'em summat diffrent. 'cause people wanna read about cancelled toys, right? Right?"

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 10:41, 10 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

Onara Kuat

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:45, 9 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More WTS fun.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
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Xendor

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:34, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

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Empatojayos Brand

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 06:42, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Weebles wobble but they don't fall down.

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 * Could we get a picture of the "Brand look-alike" from Union for the BtS?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:38, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Added. - Lord Hydronium 00:46, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

Jeng Droga

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 14:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He go crazy.

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 * 1) Lord Hydronium 03:51, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

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Comments
 * If anyone has Empire's End, replacement of the images would be much appreciated. Thefourdotelipsis 14:45, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

Asli Krimsan's holocron

 * Nominated by: Yrfeloran 18:13, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hey look, it's not a character.

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Object
 * 1) Much, if not all, of the article is written in two- and three-sentence paragraphs. It would be greatly appreciated if you could do your best to merge them together.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I really don't see a problem with that arrangement, as the paragraphs don't seem to be disjointed. Were there any specific instances that could be improved? Graestan ( Talk ) 03:49, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Grass clippings:
 * 4) *Maybe a touch more on the functionality of the item as a holocron in the Properties section would be nice.
 * 5) *This sentence needs a bit more clarity: "The primary purpose of Asli Krimsan's holocron was to provide resources for the education of Jedi children to future Jedi Masters." Do we mean Jedi from children to future Jedi Masters? Or something different? Please reword.
 * 6) **It's teaching Jedi Masters how to teach children. Changed. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) *Referring to the Potentium as heresy straight off is POV. Please revisit how you explain this example.
 * 8) **Eh, changed. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *The word "holocron" is used quite heavily&mdash;perhaps some alternatives could be worked in to make the read more pleasant?
 * 10) **Short of "glowy cube", I'm not sure what would work. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *The nature of the drugs the Ranats used should be provided. Also, the Ranats' employ should be stated up front to avoid later confusion.
 * 12) **Sure. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *The last paragraph of the BtS is pure OR/speculation/extrapolation, and really shouldn't be included.
 * 14) *The appearances really don't belong, in my opinion&mdash;the BtS mention is enough for that, and less misleading.
 * 15) ** OK. Yrfeloran 04:17, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:49, 14 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Image kinda sucks Yrfeloran 18:13, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
 * yup, needs some cleaning indeed. Moreover, some additional illustrations would be welcome - Invock 22:29, 12 June 2008 (UTC
 * I know I remember hearing that those holocrons were made specifically for the VD. I'll see if I can dig up a source. -- Ozzel 11:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)