Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Gerd


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Gerd

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:31, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A dumbass who tries to fight Darth Bane. Yeah. Not a very good idea.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 04:03, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:28, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice job, Floyd. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 02:02, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Mauser  Comlink 08:39, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  07:49, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Good work. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:20, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * "and the physical toil of working in the mines had turned his into a mass of hard, knotted muscle": it sounds like there's a word missing after "his"; please check.
 * 3) * "and witnessed the man's mining equipment fail": usually the direct object of "witness" is a noun, not a verb; please try to reword.
 * 4) * How exactly did Dessel/Bane "have no respect for his father?" It's slightly unclear.
 * 5) * Can you try to vary "move away"?
 * 6) * Can you also try to vary "able to return to work"?  CC7567  (talk) 03:43, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Taken care of in IRC.  CC7567  (talk) 04:03, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Objections.
 * 9) * "“During his time at the mine, he became great friends with another miner named Hurst.”" – Great’s colloquial here; perhaps “good”, or “strong” would be better.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "“Hurst's son, Dessel, began working in the mines at age thirteen and was often tormented and bullied by some of the bigger, stronger miners, Gerd included.”" – Could this be split into two sentences? A lot of commas, doesn’t flow well.
 * 12) *Addressed.
 * 13) * I don’t like the use of abbreviations like ORO; could it be changed to some else?
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) * Expand the P&T to say if he was a drunkard or not, if you’re going to mention the alcohol.
 * 16) **Path of Destruction doesn't actually state if he was a drunkard or not, it just says he liked Corellian whiskey.
 * 17) *Fair enough. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  07:47, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Little bit of expansion of the BtS; I’d like to see the release date/publisher included.
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Quote for the P&T?
 * 21) **There's nothing appropriate for a P&T quote in PoD.
 * 22) *Fair enough. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  07:47, 18 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *Good work, Floyd. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 00:51, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 26) * Just one thing: You state that by 1,003 BBY, Gerd had worked for twenty years. Then, in the next sentence, it's 1,008 BBY, and at the beginning of the next paragraph, it's 1,003 BBY again. Please rearrange this so they're in chronological order. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:32, 10 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:01, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) Mauser:
 * 29) * Does he have a TCSWE entry? If he does, you will need sourcing.
 * 30) **I checked before I finished the article. Doesn't have an entry.
 * 31) * Perharps you should explain how he was stuck on Apatros because of ORO?
 * 32) **Addressed.
 * 33) *Otherwise looks very good. Made small fixes along the way.  Mauser  Comlink 16:38, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:52, 15 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments