Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * /History
 * /2005 History
 * /2006 History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article; a leading quote at the beginning is required. Only one quote would be allowed at the beginning of each section at max, although quotes may be placed in the middle of the article.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 16) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article".

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article".

Also remember to add nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(6 Inqs/2 Users/8 total)
Support
 * 1) Bringbacknom!   20:08 2 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 01:52, 7 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) It's come a long way.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:39, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice job on the objections.  Greyman ( Paratus ) 22:47, 16 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  Talk  15:35, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Cull Tremayne 17:51, 27 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:18, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) --Eyrezer 12:08, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) Could use some expansion, and there are way too many quotes. Better sectioning is also needed. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 13:17, 3 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) * The number of quotes is simply insane. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 19:46, 10 July 2007 (UTC) Seems to be addressed.  Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 22:59, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) * Per Darthchristian. Chack Jadson 19:52, 10 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) * It also needs and Personality and Traits section. Darthchristian   ( Hey! ) 16:51, 14 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done!-- Harrar 01:13, 17 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 6) From the desk of Ataru
 * 7) * Intro: Favour-->favor
 * 8) *Intro, Para 1, Line 3, reword sentence about "for the failure of . . . "- doesn't read well
 * 9) *Intro, comma after However
 * 10) *Intro, Para 2: Faith in what?
 * 11) *Intro: Remove speculation about Qorealists
 * 12) *Intro: Add a comma after Thus or remove it.
 * 13) *Sectioning looks bad. Why is there a single subsection under each section?
 * 14) *1.1: Reword: "It appears that Harrar . . ."- sounds OOU.
 * 15) *1.1: Fix comma errors surrounding "However"
 * 16) *1.2: Given command, not commands
 * 17) *1.2: Reword "And it was there" to "where". Conciseness should be prized.
 * 18) *1.2.1, comma after Falcon
 * 19) *1.2.1, remove comma after dismally
 * 20) *1.3, worshiped should be worshipped
 * 21) *1.3, Para 2, Line 3, add comma after and
 * 22) *1.3.1: Reword to "enough time to recover from the loss of Coruscant" or "enough time to recuperate" or similar
 * 23) *1.3.1, Para 1, line 4, Remove comma after "and"
 * 24) *1.3.1: Jumps from Borleias to Coruscant without explanation. Expand.
 * 25) *1.4: Revealed is mispelled.
 * 26) *1.4: Weasel words on Qorealist part
 * 27) *1.4: comma after "At first"
 * 28) *1.4, Para 1, add comma after However
 * 29) *1.4, Para 3, remove commma after and
 * 30) *1.4: Remove first "her" in "asked her of her discoveries"
 * 31) *1.5: remove "had in fact"; doesn't read well
 * 32) *1.5: reword to say "Harrar stated that learning of the possible connection between the ancient Yuuzhan Vong homeworld and Zonoma Sekot had shattered . . . "
 * 33) *1.5: reword first sentence of 2nd Paragraph
 * 34) *1.5, 2nd Para, add comma after There
 * 35) *1.5.1: learnt-->learned
 * 36) *1.5.1: decapitalize liberation
 * 37) *1.5.1: "for they were the only way to save his people" is POV
 * 38) *Too many quotes
 * 39) *No P&T
 * 40) *I'm a bit rusty on NJO, but I'm sure he had a bigger role than this. Needs expansion.
 * 41) *Traitor is not listed under appearances.
 * 42) * No info from Enemy Lines I.
 * 43) *P&T not sourced yet.
 * 44) *Have a nice day.&mdash; Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:49, 19 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 45) A few things:
 * 46) * Infobox image lacks a proper source and description; it also needs to be cropped.
 * 47) **Cropped,sourced, described-- Harrar 01:13, 17 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 48) * Infobox is poorly formatted: the "|" signs should be in front of the variables, not behind them. ("|name=Harrar", not "name=Harrar|")
 * 49) **Done!-- Harrar 01:13, 17 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 50) * 1.1: "Years" in "Early Years" should be decapitalized per WP:MOS.
 * 51) **Done-- Harrar 01:13, 17 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 52) * 1.3: Odd sentence: "The invasion still continued to proceed well"
 * 53) **Changed -- Harrar 01:13, 17 August 2007 (GMT)
 * I wish I had a catchphrase to put here. --Imperialles 14:54, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) *Minorly reword 2nd sentence in intro.
 * 2) *All done. Cheers for the help-- Harrar 18:18, 22 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 3) A few suggestions for improvement
 * 4) * More detail in intro about Harrar was "instrumental in ending the conflict."
 * 5) *Vary starts to sentences in The Elan debacle. "He... He... Harrar... Harrar..." Mix them up a little.
 * 6) *Clarify that Khalee Lah did, in fact, die.
 * 7) * In "together, they would capture the elusive Jedi," (Resurgence, paragraph 3), "would" should be changed to "planned to," since they did not capture Solo.
 * 8) *Way too many "He's" at the beginning of sentences (four in a row) in the 3rd paragraph of Zonama Sekot.
 * 9) *In a skirmish with Anor in which he very much had the traitorous Intendant on the back foot? What does this mean?
 * 10) *Other than that, the article is pretty good, especially on the P&T. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 04:42, 17 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) **Taken into account and changed. Thanks Hobbes, and took out the "back foot" bit - its an English expression for when you're beating someone in a fight.-- Harrar 18:18, 22 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 12) Source it properly. Green Tentacle (Talk) 12:52, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) *Can you elaborate? By "it" do you mean the article in general? If so, I'm not 100% sure on how to do it properly. -- Harrar 20:45, 28 August 2007 (GMT)
 * 14) **Specifically:
 * 15) *** Early years: "However, he continued to serve the government of Shimrra Jamaane for many years, viewing the Supreme Overlord as the conduit to the gods."
 * 16) *** The duty of the priest: Third paragraph.
 * 17) *** Departure into the unknown: "The deception priest, if that was who he continued to be after such a journey of self-discovery, remained on the living planet and led his people to their new future."
 * 18) *** Personality and traits: "It was this loyalty to the Yuuzhan Vong which gave Harrar the strength to seemingly betray them."
 * 19) ***And the infobox, while we're at it. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:07, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) **All sourced. Thanks for your help -- Harrar 11:36, 03 September 2007 (GMT)
 * Add to the BTS some general info about the character. Ie Harrar first appeared in X, created by Y, or some such.
 * Why isn't the depiction from the cover of The Final Prophecy used at all? I would argue it has higher canonicity than the Gamer one. And tbh, I don't think there is enough of a difference in the depictions to only use one. --Eyrezer 06:19, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * I doubt it has higher canonicity. And the Gamer one is probably more suited to the infobox. Thefourdotelipsis 08:11, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Well it is only authorial intent. As to it being better suited to infobox, sure. But to not use the pic at all? It's madness! Maybe I'll just have to add it myself... --Eyrezer 12:00, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) He's not in Enemy Lines I - that appears to have been an erroneous appearance. That's everything about Harrar there as far as I know. P&T sourced, no redlinks, referencing. If anyone could help with pictures that'd be nice. Harrar  16:21, 14 August 2007 (GMT)
 * Ok, thanks for working on it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:39, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) *Really sorry about striking people's objections, I mistakenly assumed that's what you did after you had acted upon the suggestions...now I know. Harrar 15:49, 15 August 2007 (GMT)

Remove Nom (Inq only)
 * 1)   Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:04, 31 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 2)  Doesn't look like it's going anywhere. Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:38, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3)   Greyman ( Paratus ) 19:30, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4)   Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 01:46, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

(3 Inq/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) I've worked long on this article, and I think it is worthy. Any comments/criticism would be helpful.&mdash; Darthtyler Talk 01:44, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 00:16, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  Talk 23:31, 8 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:08, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 15:20, 15 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Ozzel 04:51, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:35, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) * Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 22:01, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) '''From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Remove speculation on origin/parents' history
 * 3) * Not enough explanation of sunnydew nectar. Doesn't make much sense.
 * 4) * Wicket and Teebo incident section doesn't make much sense. There's irrelevant information that could be condensed, but it doesn't explain why they need to bother Gantu.
 * 5) * Wicket and Teebo's escape section doesn't make much sense either. It's written more like part of Teebo's bio, not Gantu's. The action is centered around the deeds of the Ewoks, not the subject (Gantu). Still don't get the whole sunnydew/Zandor Rocker thing.
 * 6) * P&T is rather short.
 * 7) * Is "Sunnydew nectar" a) supposed to be capitalized b) need to be linked three or four times?
 * 8) **Always hard to tell with comics, by my feeling is: no. I fixed the case, and it seems the links have already been fixed. -- Ozzel
 * 9) * Remove referencing from intro, per Sourcing.
 * 10) * Intro just doesn't read well, particularly the second paragraph.
 * 11) **Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:37, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Um, are you being sarcastic? (that last line about the super happy un frustrating part.)&mdash; Darthtyler Talk 16:39, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Not that it matters, but no, I'm not being sarcastic. I don't want people to think it's personal and that I'm picking on them- I do this to everyone. The exact phrasing was inspired by Darth Culator. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:42, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Well that makes sense too, I guess.&mdash; Darthtyler Talk 16:48, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) Remove bullets from behind the scenes, the Lilo and Stitch bit has nothing to do with anything, fix the source on Image:Coruscanti ogre vs Divto.jpg, referencing should be per paragraph or maybe removed entirely since it's single source, which also means you don't need the first appearance bit. Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:22, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) *Done.&mdash; Darthtyler Talk 17:29, 27 July 2007 (UTC)
 * 17) I'd like to see the intro be fleshed out. I don't think it's long enough for the Main Page yet. -- Ozzel 08:07, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) * I tweaked it a little bit, but I agree. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:30, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) Speculation in the Behind the scenes section. --Imperialles 19:39, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) *Speculation removed. I will also conduct a copyedit. I suppose I'm "adopting" this abandoned FAN. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 22:01, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * '''From the lair of Hobbes15
 * As a single source nom, no references are required; the ones in the article can be taken out.
 * Greedy and selfish in intro are POV.
 * Why were they looking for sunnydew nectar?
 * Where did Wicket get the Rainbow Crystal? The last the article says, Ebab is still guarding it.
 * Source for BTS section unless it is the same as the one Gantu appears in; if not, my first objection is null and void.
 * That's all I have. I agree with Graestan, though, and believe that this article is too lanky for FAN, and might be better for the less demanding GAN. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 05:19, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * I think (and I am not alone) that there is not enough information from the source on Gantu (barring needless fluff) to make a Featured Article. Perhaps a Good Article Nomination would be more successful. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 04:03, 11 September 2007 (UTC)

(3 Inq/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Previously featured.  Chack Jadson  Talk 14:36, 10 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) [[Image:The Death of Ki-Adi-Mundi.jpg|40px]]  Jediknight19bby  ( Jedi High Council Chambers! ) 00:45, 11 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:45, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Unit 8311 15:25, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 5)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 21:36, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Thefourdotelipsis 07:21, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) --Aabsdu 14:39, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Conflicting sources should be sorted out. [[Image:The Death of Ki-Adi-Mundi.jpg|40px]]  Jediknight19bby  ( Jedi High Council Chambers! ) 19:58, 10 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) The article says "Fighting broke out all over Pau City between droid and clone forces, destroying large parts of the sinkhole," and cites Revenge of the Sith. But I didn't see the sinkhole itself sustaining any damage when I saw the film . -LtNOWIS 01:56, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) * Also, I don't think there should be quite so many inter-section quotes, especially in "Endgame." -LtNOWIS 01:56, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  Talk 23:01, 12 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 6) * Needs a reference at the end of "In the service of San Hill"
 * 7) *Needs a reference at the end of "The beginning of the war"
 * 8) * A bit more information from Labyrinth of Evil is needed.
 * 9) *IIRC, LOE has details on Belderone, etc, particularly when he rescues Gunray. I'd like to see that expounded upon. Some guy 15:24, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) **Ah. Sorry, some guy. ;)  Chack Jadson  Talk 22:42, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) * Some sticky wording in the death section, particularly in "However, during the fight, Kenobi had pulled one of Grievous's chest plates off, Grievous's armor having been previously damaged by Windu, revealing the synth-skin gutsack holding Grievous's remaining organs"<s?
 * 12) *P&T has no mention of his "softer" (okay, maybe just less bloodthirsty) side with Kunmar.
 * 13) *First lines of talents needs ref'd.
 * 14) *(Talents) "Formal forms"? Reword please.
 * 15) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Unfrustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:32, 16 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  Talk 20:09, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 17) I'd like to see a solid source for the Gary Oldman thing. Also, you might want to mention George's plans for effing with Grivie's history in the upcoming cartoon. -- Ozzel 03:29, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) **Sourced the first. For the second, where did you find that?  Chack Jadson  Talk 21:38, 23 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) I may be wrong, but I would think that the content from the Grievous comic would need a bit more fleshing out than just a passing mention. Thefourdotelipsis 23:37, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) * Actually, the coverage of things such as the Clone Wars Adventures books are far too light. And sometimes non existent. Thefourdotelipsis 23:39, 28 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 21) Far too many images (Criteria 15). --Imperialles 19:45, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) Unsourced entries in the trivia section. Come to think of it, we should probably either get rid of the trivia section entirely, or merge the interesting parts with other sections. --Imperialles 14:18, 1 September 2007 (UTC)
 * No, I think the trivia section should be kept. It'll be interesting information for some people. Unit 8311 16:57, 1 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) **Oh, God, didn't see that before. Get rid of the Trivia section, for God's sake. Any information that is really relevant will be important enough to be integrated into other sections. Thefourdotelipsis 13:15, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Just a couple of minor things:
 * 3) * Yes, get rid of the trivia section, per 4dot's argument. Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:45, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) * Please source the following information in the infobox: Homeworld, death, eye color, and cybernetics. I would also like to see his species sourced since it is not blatantly obvious like some characters.
 * 5) *The intro could stand to be expanded by a couple sentences; major events, etc. His death should also be mentioned at the end of the intro.
 * 6) *Looks/reads good otherwise :) Greyman ( Paratus ) 01:10, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) Needs info from Dark Jedi --Eyrezer 12:39, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) *The problem with that is that we don't know when exactly that's set. Unit 8311 12:42, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) **It still needs to be determined, or written into the article somehow. Otherwise, without it, the article is incomplete per FAN standards. Greyman ( Paratus )
 * 10) ***Yeah, I'd say just give it your best guess and leave a note ref if you think it needs it. -- Ozzel 01:42, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) ****Done. Yes, I paraphased it from the Dark Jedi article, but the most important thing is that it's there. :) Unit 8311 16:20, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) Interwiki links are woefully inadequate. -LtNOWIS 06:49, 8 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) *Fixed. -LtNOWIS 21:23, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) I'd like to see the introduction rewritten to remove POV ("fearsome") and poor prose ("He earned the rank of Supreme Commander, and as the commander,"). --Imperialles 14:19, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) *Fixed.  Chack Jadson  Talk 19:59, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) Unsourced image: Image:30th Lo General GrievousPreCyborg.jpg -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 19:56, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * Well written overall and a pleasure to read. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:32, 16 August 2007 (UTC)

(7 Inq/6 Users/13 Total)
Support
 * 1) My... first... (finished) FA attempt. -- Ozzel 03:09, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Almost too far outside the box...but the Inqs won't complain. [[Image:The Death of Ki-Adi-Mundi.jpg|40px]]  Jediknight19bby  ( Jedi High Council Chambers! ) 18:24, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) *Huh? You know in advance what every inq is going to say? That is extraordinary. AdmirableAckbar 23:02, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice. Joker1138 ( Mandalore ) [[Image:MandalorianSymbol.jpg|25px]] 02:03, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) Superlative. We need to see more of this stuff. Thefourdotelipsis 06:41, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 6)  Chack Jadson  Talk  22:42, 21 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) Adamwankenobi 05:25, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) Lord Hydronium 06:49, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 9)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 02:01, 26 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) Cull Tremayne 18:01, 27 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) Enjoyable writing, Oz. --Eyrezer 12:54, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:42, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) We really do need more FA noms to be as far out of the box as this one is. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 22:52, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 21:00, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) Outside the box? Hell, BURN the box! --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:13, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Second paragraph of "Origin": First sentence reads a bit awkwardly. Reword please.
 * 3) *More context on "The Southern Underground" please.
 * 4) * Is it just me, or is "bombastic use" a bit POVish?
 * 5) * More context on "Into the Sewers" A reader clicking this link may not be familiar with SoTE, so who the heroes are should be expounded upon.
 * 6) * Reference the orchestra credits please. Referencing everyone individually shouldn't be necessary, but it should list where the information came from. Was it from the CD packaging?
 * 7) *Adjust categorization as it does not appear to be a spoken article.
 * 8) * "Tracks" section- Williams "Main Theme" should either be italicized or de-capitalized. I didn't adjust it because I was unsure of which was appropriate. Ditto with all the other tracks, but I don't think the headers need adjusted.
 * 9) * I'm a bit confused- CD artwork pic at the bottom says the artwork was by Struzan while the infobox states it was McQuarrie. Please clarify or just explain. ;-)
 * 10) *Reference the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs of release. As you've already set precedent by refing the liner notes, please carry it all the way through if that is where the information is from.
 * 11) **I'll let the 2nd paragraph slide, but does the video game manual give credit to this particular album? If so, it should be referenced. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:07, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) ***I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. -- Ozzel 03:29, 8 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Okay, Ataru, just to clarify: myself and others seem to disagree about your intentions here. Am I wrong in assuming that you will settle for nothing less than a little number at the end of that sentence (or, perhaps, clarified rules for ref'ing OOU info)? -- Ozzel 02:21, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Hm, yes...some others, but not all. Like I explained, from where I stand all I feel that Ataru was trying to get at was this: is the musical score in the game credited to be this soundtrack? Yes, we've heard it be said that "All you have to do is listen, and you'll know it's the same." Well, that's fine, but for these types of situations if it is the same soundtrack, attribution should be shown -- we can't take anyones word in the place of actual fact. Like I said on IRC, I understand where Ataru is coming from, but I also understand where you, Ozzel, are coming from. I don't think this is just about settling "for nothing less than a little number at the end of that sentence".  However, Ataru's reply to Ozzel's above statement should clear up this ongoing debate so we can queue this FAN! :D Hopefully Ozzel's hardwork here will become our template for such future articles ;)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 02:33, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) ******Sorry Grey, I worded that funny. I meant myself disagreed with others, not myself and others disagreed with Ataru (although that is also true). My bad. ;-) -- Ozzel 06:02, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) *******Heh, no worries whatsoever :) Like I said, I hope this thing can be resolved soon so we can queue another FA :) Greyman ( Paratus ) 13:21, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 17) * Reference 2nd paragraph of "Xizor's Theme" please.
 * 18) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:37, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I've addressed everything except for expanding the story info on those two tracks (which are the shortest two after all, but I'll still try to add a little) and sourcing irrefutable, obvious facts. As you say, this is setting a precedent, so I think it's important not to go overboard. I don't think we should necessarily apply the same exact standards for sourcing OOU as with IU. For example, by saying the music appears in the SOTE video game, there is no need for a source. If I said it's used in a video game, or just somewhere else in general, then yes, sourcing with the video game would be appropriate. But the statement as it is already sources itself. Also, saying what is in the liner notes: that's just a fact. The liner notes don't say what's in the liner notes; they are the liner notes. Look, I'm all for being thorough, but we gotta draw the line somewhere, as the good captain says... well, you know. -- Ozzel 08:35, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) *** You may have a point, but I'm still going to add the end of the first paragraph in The Destruction of Xizor's Palace to the sourcing list. :P Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:30, 26 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 21) ****Addressed GT's, and fixed all of Ataru's that I feel are worth fixing. The rest I'll have to leave up to the Inqs. -- Ozzel 03:05, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) *****I've added a reference for the "Xizor's Theme" one. It's not exactly hard for people to Google it to check, but if we can provide a link we might as well. And I just noticed that Main Theme from Star Wars and Leia's Nightmare needs a source too. Green Tentacle (Talk) 09:23, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) ******But it's not information from a source, it's simply stating the obvious. -- Ozzel 22:13, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) *******No, it's stating your interpretation of what the music represents. Unless you have a source that that was what the composer intended, you shouldn't say it. Green Tentacle (Talk) 09:18, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 25) ********Okay, it's kinda in the liner notes. Ref'd. :-) -- Ozzel 17:32, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 26) Just a couple of objections on this
 * 27) * I think I get where Ozzel's coming from on the liner notes, but the three sentences before that need to be sourced, even if that doesn't, in my opinion.
 * 28) ** .Make that just the first sentence.
 * 29) *Suggestion: For expansion on The Southern Underground, a little more information on who Spero is would be nice.
 * 30) *Those are my only problems with this nom. Intriguing type of article, Ozzel ;). Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 03:49, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 31) **Addressed. -- Ozzel 03:05, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * Definitely open for suggestions here. Considering we don't have many other real world FAs to compare it to, I tried to use some album FAs at Wikipedia as models. -- Ozzel 03:09, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * Great to see this here. A truly one-of-a-kind article :) ...Just a couple of requests. One, can it include a brief MP3 or OGG clip from one of the songs? "Xizor's Theme" would seem to be the best choice. (I'd be happy to rip and edit just such a clip, though I can only encode MP3s.) Two, the Misconceptions section could use clarification/expansion; it doesn't clearly indicate, in some cases, whether these "rumors" are true or not. The last two bullets in particular puzzle me; if neither is true, we need to cite how we know that, and if they may be true/maybe not, the header for that section shouldn't be Misconceptions.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 20:07, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) I'd like to include sound clips too; in fact, I already prepared some a while back. However, I very much dislike the template we currently use for sounds. If we could maybe bring in the one from Wikipedia, I'd be happy to put them in. 2) I figured this section might give me trouble, but I'd hate to lose it. It's just hard to prove something is not true without someone flat out denying it. I think most of the things I put are okay, because they are already contradicted by facts earlier in the article (from valid sources). The refs I provided for those were just to show that they are in fact real rumors that are out there. (And, I have to disagree with Jorrel: I think Wikipedia is a perfectly valid source when being used as a source for misinformation.) Still, I'm open to suggestions on how to improve this. -- Ozzel 20:19, 20 August 2007 (UTC)
 * I made improvised a template and added 3 sound clips. -- Ozzel 07:04, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * I'm undecided on this, but perhaps the Dha Werda Verda section should be moved to later in the article, but that's not really an objection. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:37, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * Perhaps the last two paragraphs of "Reception" could be changed to "Criticism" and given their own section. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:37, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * I somewhat give the Misconceptions section an askance look. It just feels off, both in formatting and content, but it's not in the rules. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:37, 24 August 2007 (UTC)
 * This is a new type of FA nom, so I want it to be really good, and it's also precedent, which is another reason to insist on high quality stuff. Overall impressive and the objections I have are mostly minor. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:39, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

(6 Inq/1 User/7 total)
Support Objections Comments
 * 1) The Dude. Thefourdotelipsis 12:03, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 19:14, 1 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Spoilerific. Green Tentacle (Talk) 09:55, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:21, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) Cull Tremayne 07:35, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) Imperialles 13:18, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) You obnoxious, power-crazed, ludicrous little jerk! This guy has the best quote in the enire LOTF series. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 15:06, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) This suggest he may have been in the NJOSB. If not, and this page is original material, it should be added to the sources. --Eyrezer 09:07, 27 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 23:50, 27 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Luke's referred to as Grand Master before it says he declared himself that. Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:13, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * From a desk far, far, away
 * Ridiculously oversized intro. "Proper" lead please: the current one eclipses that of the largest FAs or noms in existence.
 * It's not that much bigger than Jade's. It only looks massive since the infobox is pissantesque. Intro size, provided it's not copious, comes down to authorial preference. I thought that was the best way in which I could summarise Omas. Plus, you'll want to save this objection for the Fel article. Thefourdotelipsis 11:33, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Colloquial diction, as well as somewhat repetitive diction in the Yuuzhan Vong War. Needs a more encyclopediac tone.
 * Could you please cite examples? I'm not challenging you, I'm just a tad simple in the way of complexities in your funky language. Thefourdotelipsis 09:26, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
 * "Loggerheads", "blame" used twice relatively close together in 1st para, "support endorsement" reads awkwardly. I prefer to keep this things as nation-neutral as possible while still using the MoS mandated American English. (Despite the fact that most Americans don't speak English: they speak American.) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:23, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Examples fixed. Keep 'em coming! ;) Unless, of course, you want to do a Havacesque Unresolvable Objection. :P Thefourdotelipsis 12:27, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Good fixes. I'd look kind of silly if I did that, since I was the one who led the charge against those. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:14, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * I'd like a little more detail in the 28 ABY election, and the last sentence of the last paragraph reads strangely.
 * Mention that Omas was willing to use Alpha Red- either in Bio or in P&T.
 * Done. Thefourdotelipsis 09:26, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Added more detail. Say when. Thefourdotelipsis 12:48, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Was Omas present for the liberation of Coruscant, or did he come in afterward? I suspect the latter, but I could be wrong.
 * Fixed. Bah! Thefourdotelipsis 11:40, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Corellian counterattack should be linked.
 * It's the same article as the blockade. Thefourdotelipsis 11:31, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Should the fact that Jacen was not Omas's first pick for GAG chief be mentioned? I think so.
 * Though it's kinda by-the-by, I'll mention your precious Jade. Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 11:36, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Broken reference
 * Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 08:30, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Check again. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:23, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Oooh! Pants! Ficksed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:29, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * No info from AOC I
 * And rightly so. He doesn't do anything. Thefourdotelipsis 09:17, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * No info from Exile
 * Added. Thefourdotelipsis 09:12, 5 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Better, but what is a "thoraway" suggestion? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:23, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Generally a thunderous one. Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:35, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:09, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Possible Inferno spoilers! Really nice work, great to see Omas finally fleshed out, but the last section needs work. The final sentence being about Ben Skywalker doesn't fit - I think he has known Jacen was unstable since Bloodlines - and detracts from the...well, gravitas of the final section. Also, some quotations from that chapter would nice, as well as a better section heading. Have a nice day! --Harrar 18:00, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Well, since LOTF hasn't fully resolved itself yet, we don't know whether Omas', well, exuent, will be instrumental in the downfall of Solo. So at the moment, the conclusion has to be a little anticlimactic. Because there is no climax. There was a better section heading, but it kept spoiling people when it popped up in RC. Rest assured, we'll change it when the spoiler period is over. And I'm sure we'll get a few quote in there soon...I haven't actually read the book; got a bit of help on that last section. If you have read the book, could you add a suitable quote? I know you don't have to, but, if you could... :P Thefourdotelipsis 12:17, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Haven't read it fully yet, but could we get a better picture of Horn? I mean, there are much better images than the one there right now. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 00:09, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * From the lair of Hobbes15
 * .Possibly a bit more background on Organa Solo's request that the Ithorians be given Borao
 * Done. Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * In 1.4, "quit his job" reads a little awkwardly. It should be changed to, say, resigned.
 * Ficksed. Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * In the Inferno section, mention that Ben Skywalker never actually believed Omas was responsible for Jade Skywalker's death (unless I read it wrong).
 * Added. Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * I see no spoilers in the BTS. If there aren't any, remove the spoiler tags.
 * Someone removed them. I un-removed them. Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * As mentioned before, the Horn image could be replaced.
 * Done. Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Once those are fixed, the article gets my vote simply for this lead quote. :P.  Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 01:44, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Found another. At the beginning of The Swarm War, "kicking up a fuss" should be changed!
 * Bah! Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 04:16, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Also, I'd like the two dastardly redlinks to go, but that's just preference. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 03:59, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Other than the redlinks :(, that's all I found. Yay for spoilers! Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 04:32, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Die, redlinks, die! Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 15:11, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * DAVID WARNERING! HEAVY SPOILERS WITHIN FOR INFERNO! YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISED. Thefourdotelipsis 12:03, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 12:03, 25 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Don't see why not. Unit 8311 12:10, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * Introduction: "generally accepted as the foremost Gungan of his time." Weasel words.
 * 3) **Removed.
 * 4) * Punctuation: Em dashes are erroneously surrounded by spaces.
 * 5) **Fixed by someone else.
 * 6) * Excessive links: This article has a lot. Remove them.
 * 7) **Fixed by someone else.
 * 8) * Unsourced images: Image:Bossnass.jpg, Image:Naboo celebration.jpg.
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) * Behind the scenes: This section could be significantly expanded.
 * 11) **Expanded. Thefourdotelipsis 11:44, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) *Thank you. --Imperialles 14:12, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) **Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 11:28, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) Since he's too lazy to object himself: " he hasn't included all info from the EpI Adventures books" Green Tentacle (Talk) 10:33, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) *From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 16) ** A bit more detail from Galactic Battlegrounds please. He has at least two missions in the campaign.
 * 17) ***Bit more added. Thefourdotelipsis 13:10, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) ** Where is "superior" in reference to the Naboo used in The Phantom Menace? Are the quotation marks indicating a direct quote?
 * 19) ***Removed. As I said...long time ago. Thefourdotelipsis 10:43, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) ** Link bongo submarine (I doubt it is the same as a heyblibber)
 * 21) ***Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 10:43, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) **5 REDLINKS OMGZ!!1!!! ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:20, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:36, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) ****I think not sirrah! Fie on thee for thy despicable redlinks. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:30, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 25) **Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 13:27, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:36, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * This one's an oldie, so feel free to tear it a new one. Thefourdotelipsis 12:03, 25 August 2007 (UTC)

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) The first of my summer noms. Havac 23:07, 30 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 02:08, 31 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Thefourdotelipsis 10:30, 31 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Imperialles 14:02, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * Punctuation: Em dashes are surrounded by spaces. Remove the spaces.
 * 3) * Quotes: Remove excessive links.
 * 4) * BTS: "The single instance of blue eyes is likely considered a coloring error." Likely considered? Reword this.
 * 5) * BTS: "In Loyalties, Autem's depiction bears a striking resemblance to actor Bruce Willis, who may have been used as photo reference. Willis's likeness has also been seemingly replicated for Kam Solusar in Star Wars: Union." Original research. Remove or provide a source.
 * 6) * BTS: "Autem's reference to being backstabbed by a Devaronian may have been intended to be a nod to another Ostrander character, the duplicitous Vilmarh Grahrk. Whether the Devaronian was in fact Grahrk is undetermined." Again, original research.
 * 7) *Have a super day. --Imperialles 13:53, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) **I'm going to have someone run a bot to remove spaces around em dashes. So that will be fixed sometime shortly. I like to make sure that, when a person looks at a quote, they don't have to go digging around the first section of the article for a link. I like quotes to stand on their own, just like image captions. But if you want to enforce your personal stylistic preferences across the wiki, fine. They're changed. BTS reworded. Source already provided: Loyalties. Anyone with eyes can see that Autem looks like Willis. This isn't exactly "Autem is a representation of man's internal racism" here. That's the original research we're supposed to outlaw. Drawing very basic, fundamentally obvious connections is not banned by the original research prohibition. See the next. Never explicitly stated, but it immediately jumps out as a likely in-joke reference, and is worth noting as such, simply saying for the reader, "This may be an in-joke reference to this other character that the author writes, but don't think that it's actually established canon that it is the other character." I see no reason to remove it. Havac 17:51, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) ***The quote thing has nothing to do with my personal stylistic preference. It's policy. See WP:MOS. The two sentences in BTS qualify as original research per WP:ATT. --Imperialles 18:05, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) ****I quite deliberately checked WP:MOS, and the quote linking is only in regard to links within the quotes themselves, not the attribution of the quotes. And as for original research, those rules are ported directly from Wikipedia. Wikipedia, unlike Wookieepedia, is about real-world topics, every one of which has had some person, somewhere, write a book about. Just about any analysis they want to provide can be sourced from a book. There are, unless I am mistaken, no books available which analyze Republic comics in-jokes. That's why I've brought up NOR for the next Mofference's agenda. Can we agree to leave this matter until then? Havac 18:12, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 11) *****The MOS makes no distinction between the quotes themselves and the quote attributions. Very well, I'll drop the OR issue until then. --Imperialles 18:18, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) ******FWIW, it's always been my perception that BTS items did not always need to be cited, since some speculation is perfectly safe (the injoke in this case qualifies, provided it is phrased as "maybe"). The Bruce Willis thing seems more "out there." I say that not because I can't recall seeing an Autem picture that looked like Willis to me, but because it comes with less direct evidence.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 20:28, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) *******Read Loyalties -- there are several frames where it looked like he drew over a picture of Willis. Even in the three last images in the article, you should be able to see some similarities. Havac 20:47, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) My only suggestion is to reiterate in the P&T how Autem did bend the law to keep his children out of trouble. It needs to be there as info that Autem did not in fact always put the Republic first. Other than that, the article is very good. That's all I've got.  Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 05:18, 6 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 15) *Addressed. Havac 06:10, 6 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Havac 18:48, 31 August 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 07:34, 1 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Good characer. Unlike Autem! Bah! Thefourdotelipsis 00:39, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) *Autem . . . not a good character? That's it, surrender the crack pipe. Havac 03:25, 2 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * Punctuation: Em dashes are erroneously surrounded by spaces.
 * 3) * Quotes: Several contain excessive internal links.
 * 4) * Introduction: Is it really necessary to state that he was a male Human?
 * --Imperialles 15:16, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) *Both of the first two already addressed at Autem's entry; on the third, I personally don't think so, but I was going with the widespread style. Thank you for providing me with an excuse to ditch it. Havac 17:53, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Since reference tags have been provided for all his other "Affiliations", is it possible to get a ref tag for the Confederacy of Independent Systems? Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:08, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) *I left that because of the way it's organized -- The Provisional Government thing is a subset of the Confederacy, so by sourcing the Provisional thing, the Confederacy is sourced. The Confederate affiliation is inherent to the Provisional affiliation. But if you want, it can be sourced. Havac 21:25, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * I really enjoyed this one. Nice work. Cull Tremayne 07:34, 1 September 2007 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) The final one of my noms. Havac 05:26, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Exhaustive and complete. :-P Cull Tremayne 05:22, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Good.  Chack Jadson  Talk 21:25, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Thefourdotelipsis 00:10, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * Punctuation: Em dashes are surrounded by spaces. Remove the spaces.
 * 3) * Quotes: Remove excessive links.
 * 4) * Powers and abilities: Provide a source for the statement regarding Windu's lightsaber skills.
 * 5) *Thank you. --Imperialles 13:40, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) **First two already addressed, and the third should be within the source given -- the ROTS novel. Havac 18:05, 2 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) Incomplete interwiki links. -LtNOWIS 07:14, 8 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) *There's really nothing I can do about that. If you have knowledge of these missing interwiki links, please add them. Havac 17:12, 8 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) **Fixed. -LtNOWIS 02:18, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) Couple of curious sentences and things.
 * 11) * ...revealed himself to Skywalker as Sidious himself. The Republic was ruled by a Sith Lord. Windu ordered Skywalker to... - I don't much care for that middle sentence.
 * 12) * Quinlan Vos had left a hologram of Fenn's death at his hands as a warning from Dooku; after viewing it, the four Jedi came to the conclusion that Vos's fall was a ruse no longer, but, among Dooku's Dark Acolytes, had become true. - This one just fails to work under any circumstance.
 * 13) * And there's a few distasteful moments of repetition, but I'm not going to get all riled up about them. Also, I'm pretty sure that "It doesn't hurt" is non-canon. Thefourdotelipsis 07:47, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) **Addressed; see how you like the rewordings. And as there's nothing to explicitly noncanonize "It doesn't hurt," it should be able to stay. There's room for it to be mumbled as he collapses; just not for him to shout it. Havac 17:56, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) It's everyone's favourite green tooth in a big metal suit! Thefourdotelipsis 05:41, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Dang that Visionaries story is stupid. Cull Tremayne 07:22, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 12:32, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Adamwankenobi 20:38, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) You have my [....] support. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 16:10, 7 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6)  Chack Jadson  Talk  23:11, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) What Gamer 10 article is he in? --Eyrezer 08:15, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) *It's fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 09:43, 3 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Isn't that Visionaries story non-canon? Reading the article on it I seem to get the impression that it is not wholly considered to be canon--maybe you should put an "ambig" warning around that particular section of his article. --Goodwood 02:06, 4 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) *See Talk:Star Wars: Visionaries. -LtNOWIS 06:39, 4 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments

(4 Inqs/5 Users/9 Total)
Support Oppose Comments
 * 1) -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 21:02, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  Talk  21:45, 9 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 15:43, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Imperialles 16:33, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 17:17, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6)  Livingston  [[Image:Jedi Order2.jpg|25px]] ( The Force will be with you. Always. ) 03:35, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:00, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8)  Greyman ( Paratus ) 18:15, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) Mesa liken dis mooey-mooey bombad Jedi!  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 17:53, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) Thefourdotelipsis 01:22, 16 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * The phrase "regal, green-skinned humanoid" is used twice, which I find awkward.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Replace second use of "Unification Wars" in first paragraph of Biography with something clever and inventive.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) ***Good job! You gave a little extra info&mdash;I'm always for that. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:14, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) * The sentence "He was known to be a peaceful Jedi who, after the Unification Wars, hoped never to need his lightsaber again&mdash;however, he was extremely skillful with his weapon when the situation required it of him" can easily be broken in two.
 * 8) **Done.
 * 9) * Similar usage of the long dash later in the article also creates unwieldy sentences, which can be broken up as well.
 * 10) **Fixed.
 * 11) * Remove "None" under Hair Color; silly.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) * Physical appearance, Personality and traits, and Powers and abilities sections&mdash;the first and last of which are exceedingly short&mdash;can be merged into one section of tasteful length. Consider moving sentences and paragraphs around when doing so. Alternately, expand the Powers and abilities section.
 * 14) **Will get on that later when I have more time.
 * 15) * Images towards the bottom of the article are awkwardly positioned.
 * 16) **Fixed
 * 17) * Make the last sentence of the article more of a clincher, something definitive and memorable; this may be part of the aforementioned merger. Maybe mention the final disconnection of his lightsaber's power pack.
 * 18) * Graestan [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 01:32, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thank you for your comments and input. -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 12:10, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 20) I finished off the other two objections for you. However, I have one more:
 * 21) * Create a Behind the scenes section laying out Memit Nadill's creation and the first and subsequent comics he appeared in. See Amanoa and Crado. This is becoming status quo on TOTJ FAs. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 13:24, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 22) **Done. I also added a sentence about his irregular attire. -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 15:36, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) Two things:
 * 24) * Introduction: "In 5,000 BBY, after trusting in the visions of fellow Jedi Odan-Urr, Memit Nadill fought in the Great Hyperspace War, helping to repel the Sith Empire during the Invasion of Coruscant, leading a team of Jedi including Tuknatan, Anavus Svag and Sonam-Ha'ar." First of all, the "after trusting in the visions" part seems oddly worded and/or out of place. Secondly, the sentence should be split up; the "leading a team" part doesn't work well with the rest of the sentence.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Introduction: Hyperbole: "extremely skillful"
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * --Imperialles 15:51, 10 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Grey of Man:
 * 2) * Though this point is more of a comment, rather than an objection, is it possible to get a better lead quote for the very beginning? The current quote, IMO, doesn't really say anything about Nadill's character or persona. Just a suggestion.
 * 3) * Right now he is listed as a Jedi Knight in the opening paragraph, but he is in . Please clarify or rewrite.
 * 4) **Fixed.
 * 5) * From the introduction: "That marked the start of the Great Hyperspace War&hellip;" What marked the start? Nadill traveling to Coruscant? Please clarify.
 * 6) **Fixed.
 * 7) * In the intro, the second paragraph seems to be talking about his skills with lightsaber, and then it is randomly interjected that he was quite skilled in the art of battle meditation: "&hellip;Memit Nadill wielded a blue lightsaber, and often led Teta's forces in battle, and during the final skirmish of the Unification Wars he used Battle Meditation, a power he had quickly mastered from Odan-Urr.&hellip;" The battle meditation should either be expanded up for it's own paragraph in the intro, or should be cut out completely and discussed in his Powers and abilities section.
 * 8) **Fixed.
 * 9) * "It was the first such assignment for Odan-Urr, who preferred to think of himself as more of a scholar than a warrior." Random sentence here, with no explanation. Please expand upon why he thought of himself as more of a scholar rather than a warrior&mdash;the first few pages of Tales of the Jedi: The Golden Age of the Sith 0: Conquest and Unification explains this.
 * 10) **Fixed, I think.
 * 11) * Redundant internal links through the article.
 * 12) **Taken care of. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 02:36, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 13) * From the first paragraph after intro: "&hellip;the young Draethos taught Memit the ancient power, which drained the morale of the enemy while boosting the morale of allies." It should be stated that draining and boosting morale was only one outcome of battle meditation&mdash;as per Nomi Sunrider's use of it proves. Please clarify that sentence to reflect that the morale side of it was one of several.
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) * Please provide a brief explanation about Nadill's role in the defeat of the pirates on Kirrek. According to Page 10 of Tales of the Jedi: The Golden Age of the Sith 0: Conquest and Unification he uses his battle mediation&mdash;this isn't mentioned in the article for that specific part.
 * 16) **Fixed.
 * 17) * The first few sentences of the section "Odan Urr's Vision" seem rather choppy read like a list; please rewrite those few sentences so that they flow better.
 * 18) **Fixed, I think.
 * 19) * In the same sentences just mentioned, it should be linked that the two siblings where Gav and Jori.
 * 20) **Done.
 * 21) * The first paragraph of the section "Odan Urr's Vision" should really be two separate paragraphs since there are currently two distinct parts&mdash;the first being Nadill's rescue of the Daragons', and then Urr's dream. Please separate.
 * 22) **Fixed.
 * 23) * Where it is said "Nadill trusted his companion's judgment&hellip;", this implies that Odan Urr made a decision about something&mdash;however, the only information provided before this was that Urr had had a dream about the Sith. Please clarify and expand upon what Urr's judgment was and why Nadill decided to trust him&mdash;there is a specific line/piece of information found on page 23 of Tales of the Jedi: The Golden Age of the Sith 2: Funeral for a Dark Lord.
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) * "Nadill believed Jori Daragon and felt that this was the evidence which would surely convince the Jedi Order of the danger they presented by the ancient Sith." I think the last part of that sentence is worded wrong, as right now it doesn't make sense to me.
 * 26) **Fixed.
 * 27) * From the section "Battle of Coruscant": "Nadill fought using the Force, eliminating the Sith threat from Coruscant." Please expand upon this as there are several examples of the fight given in the comics.
 * 28) **Fixed.
 * 29) * "With much of the Sith invasion force destroyed or forced into retreat, the Jedi allowed the survivors to flee back to the Sith Empire." There is something off about the wording of this sentence which makes it a little awkward. Please reword, clarify, and/or expand.
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * From the section "Victory": "Meanwhile, the Sith were also been defeated on Kirrek by Odan-Urr and Ooroo&hellip;" Please fix the wording of this sentence.
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) * A little context surrounding the death of Master Ooroo would be appreciated.
 * 34) **Done.
 * 35) * "Memit Nadill was a thin, green-skinned humanoid with several small tails sprouting from the back of his head." This is the exact same sentence from the introduction&mdash;please rewrite accordingly.
 * 36) **Fixed.
 * 37) * In the P&T it is mentioned that "His chin was strong". Please expand/explain or remove it, as that borders on OR.
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) * Sentence fragment → "Several small horns studded the Jedi's head." Expand upon, or rewrite it so it flows with another description of his facial features.
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) * The first paragraph of the P&T has me scratching my head. I think that a complete rewrite/copy-edit needs to be done on it since it's basically just a listing his physical features: He had a strong chin. His head had tiny tails. His head also had small thorns. He had green fur on his arms. All of this is fine, but it doesn't belong under his Personality and traits since it is all physical appearance stuff. If you want to keep that stuff, then I recommend creating a new section called "Physical appearance" and rewriting it under there.
 * 42) **Blame Graestan. But yeah, fixed and expanded slightly.
 * 43) * All the points that you list in the second paragraph of the P&T need to be expanded upon and provided with their own examples. Provide examples of how he was an "experienced Jedi"; expand upon his wisdom by demonstrating several instances where he showed it during his time as an advisor to Teta; why did he prefer peaceful resolutions to problems? He was skilled with a lightsaber, yes, but examples of this need to be shown (also, this needs to be removed from the P&T and rewritten/integrated into the Powers and abilities). The trust he had for Urr needs to be expanded upon or be completely removed&mdash;his trust, IMO, was one of his central values and he demonstrated his trust throughout the comics in more ways than mentioned.
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) * No mention of his battle meditation is given in his Powers and abilities section. Please add this power and expand upon it by giving examples and context.
 * 46) **Fixed.
 * 47) ** Greyman ( Paratus ) 20:47, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Thank you for your helpful input and objections. I will address the remaining points tomorrow. (all done) -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 21:56, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 49) ****No problem :) As I mentioned in IRC, I'm going to withhold support until after you're done the expansion you were telling me about. I don't see it being a problem though ;) Greyman ( Paratus ) 14:55, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Just a couple minor things
 * Who was Gav Daragon's "friend and mentor." This should be clarifyed.
 * Could we get a better lead quote for the P&T. The current one doesn't really seem to capture his personality.
 * Otherwise, I have no problems. Good work. Hobbes15 ( Tiger Headquarters ) 00:56, 16 September 2007 (UTC)
 * All in all, a great article. The work required to make it even better is minimal. I am impressed, to say the least. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 01:32, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 00:01, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 00:49, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 3) You know Platt is where it's at! -- Ozzel 00:51, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) Worthy long before this nomination. jSarek 00:53, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) That's how I like my FA's --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:48, 11 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Currently the 48th longest article on Wookieepedia. Just to give you an idea of the length. :) --Eyrezer 00:18, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Did you forget that you're an Inq? :-P Cull Tremayne 00:49, 11 September 2007 (UTC)
 * If I'm not sure about an article, I vote as a regular user. :) Then if it is struggling, I can change my vote later lol --Eyrezer 03:50, 11 September 2007 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 User/2 total)
Support
 * 1) Sikon 17:24, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 11:56, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) A few things:
 * 2) * The infobox image (Image:Kotor.jpg) has a Dark Horse watermark is generally low quality. Replace this.
 * 3) ** Replaced. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 4) * The introduction needs a good rewrite. Things such as Dark Horse's other current Star Wars comics and the chronology of the series are best discussed in other sections.
 * 5) ** Addressed the issues you mentioned - tell me if something is still wrong. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 6) *There's a few punctuation errors throughout the article: several instances of punctuation being placed outside quotation marks, and em dashes are erroneously surrounded by spaces.
 * 7) ** Corrected em dashes. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) * The "2007: Days/Knights" subsection of "Production" has several two-sentence paragraphs. Rewrite if possible. Why is the section given the affix of "Days/Knights," when the 2006 section has no affix at all?
 * 9) ** Explained on IRC, also see below. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) * The section "Core characters" should either cover only the core characters, or be renamed to "Major characters" or something similar.
 * 11) ** Renamed to just "Characters". - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) * The thin paragraph issue applies to most of the "Plot" section as well, particularly the subsections "Commencement" and "Days of Fear, Nights of Anger."
 * 13) ** Expanded small paragraphs. - Sikon 14:56, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) * There's no reception section, and no mention of sales figures.
 * --Imperialles 17:50, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) ** Added. - Sikon 14:56, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) The core characters section needs to be wookified. At the very least, it needs a grammar cleanup.  Chack Jadson  Talk 20:09, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Image:Kotorteam.jpg needs to be properly sourced with the Information template. --Eyrezer 23:07, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 1) * Done. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) From the Grey of Man:
 * 3) * Image:Kotor.jpg is currently tagged with . Please rectify if this is going to be used.
 * 4) ** Deleted. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 5) * The infobox picture isn't really the best one that is out there, though I can understand why it was chosen. Maybe the following one, which I've linked to, would be better enjoyed by the community? Especially since it has full color. Image:Kotorhandbookcoverandtitle.jpg, just a suggestion.
 * 6) ** Done. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 7) * None of the character information in the "Core character" section has any reference tags. Please source info from the necessary appearances/sources.
 * 8) * What's the source for "&hellip;abbreviated as KotOR&hellip;"? I know it is often referred to as that around here, but is there a source for it being used in the comics/interviews/media etc.?
 * 9) ** Sourced. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 10) * The caption ("Dark Horse promotional image and preliminary issue 0 cover") is not needed below the picture in the infobox.
 * 11) ** Removed. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 12) * Each entry in the Core Characters section needs to be expanded, IMO; and as already pointed out, needs to be cleaned up.
 * 13) ** See below about expansion. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 14) * It may have been intentional, but Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 0: Crossroads is not listed, along with the other comics, in the "Media" section. All of the other comics which were collected into the TPB Commencement are listed, and Crossroads was collected in it as well&mdash;please include.
 * 15) ** It's there, see below. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 16) *Please completely source the "Continuity" section&mdash;only a few paragraphs and/or pieces of information are currently sourced. Even though some of the information may be obvious, it should still be sourced to comply with FAN standards.
 * 17) ** Sourced. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Better, but the first two paragraphs still need ref tags. The first paragraph needs at least one, if not more, ref tags of where the KotOR comics reference the TOTJ comics and the KOTOR games. The second paragraph simply needs a ref tag from either the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic video game or even the Strategy Guide since it details some of the information listed. Using both wouldn't be opposed to either. Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:38, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 19) * Formatting for the "Notes and references" section should be a scroll box at the very least.
 * 20) ** Done. - Sikon 08:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 21) *Once the writing objections listed by Imp, Chack, and myself have been looked after, I'll go through the actual writing of the article. I don't see any point in doing it before hand.
 * 22) *In the "Continuity" section, the first sentence says "Set in the years 3,964 BBY and 3,963 BBY, at a midpoint between Tales of the Jedi and the video games&hellip;". It needs to be made clear that that the video games are Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, as right now a wayward reader could mistake it for all the video games.  Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:38, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 23) *I feel that introduction should make some mention about the fan reception of the series as well as any other relevant Real World impacts it has had&mdash;especially since it's an article about the overall series. Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:38, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 24) **An interesting FAN which I could see becoming the template for future projects like it. Greyman ( Paratus ) 00:57, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments
 * Nominated on Sikon's behalf per request on IRC. -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 17:24, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Confirming the request on IRC. :) Plus some responses:
 * Sourced the "KotOR" abbreviation.
 * Replaced infobox picture per Greyman's suggestion, deleted Image:Kotor.jpg. Removed caption.
 * Removed references to other DH titles and specific years from the intro. Tell me if anything else needs to be done about it.
 * As I told Imp on IRC, 2007 has the "Days/Knights" subtitle because that's how Dark Horse refers to that meta-arc. There was no codename for 2006, hence no subtitle.
 * Renamed "Core characters" to just "Characters". But what is meant by "wookifying" this section? I'm not sure it needs to be expanded, either - it's an article about the overall series, so I tried to be as brief and concise as possible when describing the individual plot summaries and characters. Entries on individual arcs may have longer descriptions.
 * I still feel that the character entries should be longer, but I understand your reasoning and struck that particular objection. Greyman ( Paratus ) 15:38, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * Removed spaces around mdashes.
 * Reception section: I'll add it soon.
 * Thin paragraphs: I'll expand them.
 * Sourced the unsourced part of the "Continuity" section. Things without a reference footnote are sourced in-text - for example, "Alek references the Great Sith War in Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 0: Crossroads."
 * Issue 0: Crossroads is already in the Media section, just out-of-order. Fourdot suggested listing everything by release date, and #0 was released after #1 and #2.
 * Put "Notes and references" in a scroll box, although I'm personally not a big fan of them.
 * Templatized the description for Image:Kotorteam.jpg.
 * - Sikon 07:48, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 User/3 total)
Support
 * 1) Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:17, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 22:03, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) *"Maarek Stele was an Emperor's Hand" in the intro&mdash;can this be reworded, emphasizing that he's one of the Emperor's Hands?
 * 3) *"The only son of Marina and Kerek Stele, his life changed after his father was kidnapped by Bordali agents when Stele was young—the Bordali hoped to make the famous scientist work for them against his own people."&mdash;Who the famous scientist is should be addressed.
 * 4) *"He became involved with illegal swoop gangs and, as an accomplished swoop bike pilot, began participating, under an alias, in competitions for money, undertaking dangerous stunts among the ruined high-rise buildings on his homeworld."&mdash;this is too long, and though you and I could grasp the structure, I'm assuming that most others could not. Can it be broken up?
 * 5) *"After three months on the Vengeance, with the Taroon system long since pacified and occupied, Maarek had become quite proficient at flying TIE series starfighters while on maintenance test flights, his swoop experience making him a natural."&mdash;likewise.
 * 6) *Two sentences later, "assist" is used twice in rapid succession, and feels awkward.
 * 7) *That's all for now. - Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 00:27, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 8) **Have another look. Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:36, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Hey, thanks. I was just trying to get you out of the mode I usually fall into, where we write sentences that only people as skilled in linguistics as we are can piece them together without much effort. You've done well. -  Graestan  [[Image:Jedi_Order.jpg|20px]] ( This party's over ) 01:14, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 total)
Support
 * 1) -- [[Image:AckbarSig.jpg|40px]] dmirableAckbar  ( It's A Trap! ) 17:58, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
 * 2) Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 20:02, 15 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 total)
Support
 * 1) Imperialles 00:26, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments