Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Peto Kelsan


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Peto Kelsan

 * Nominated by: -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 18:30, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First Legacy nom! Guest nom for WP:LE!

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work :) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 23:14, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) "Defenceless?" tsk tsk. :P Good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:57, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Mauser  Comlink 00:38, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 18:55, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 16:06, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Mauser:
 * 2) * At least one more image is definitely needed.
 * 3) **I added one of the fleet's destruction.
 * 4) ***That's better, maybe you can add one more? In the Rise to Admiral sesion there is a large body of text without supporting images.
 * 5) ****Uploaded another, of Kelsan in his command centre.
 * 6) * The main quote: perharps you should go with the one where he orders his men to set the self-destruct mechanizms? That would suit better for the character.
 * 7) **I felt that was better suited for the P&T. Can I wait for a second opinion please?
 * 8) ***In that case I think it'll do.
 * 9) * In the infobox you should probably say that he died above Ralltiir.
 * 10) **Done
 * 11) * First sentence of the intro includes the word "Sith" twice. Needs to be reworded.
 * 12) **Took out "Dark Lord of the Sith" and left it as "Darth Krayt"
 * 13) * Try not to link to redirects. Kajain'sa'Nikto is one example, not sure if there are more.
 * 14) **That's the only one, I just got so excited because I recognised he was a Kajain'sa'Nikto I guess.
 * 15) * "Furske, who reported that some damage had been incurred to Avenger" - I was sure he was refering to the whole fleet, please double-check.
 * 16) **"We took some hits, especially around the engines, but shields are now up and we are returning fire" &mdash; ambiguous but I think he's referring to Avenger.
 * 17) ***Agree, sounds ambiguous. Leave it as it is.
 * 18) * A bit more context on why was Stazi protecting the Imperial escape pods.
 * 19) **"Fenel was defied by Gar Stazi who, refusing to fire on the defenceless crews, positioned his warships to protect the Third Fleet"
 * 20) * Some expansion needed for the BTS.
 * 21) **See what you think.
 * 22) ***You should also add that he was created by John Ostrander.
 * 23) ****Added. Sorry bout that.
 *  Mauser  Comlink 18:52, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Thanks for the review -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 12:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) The Grand Master
 * 3) * Unclear in the first sentence of the intro whether Fel was ousted by Krayt or the Sith Order in general. (It's right after you mention Krayt, and could refer to either Krayt or the Sith in general)
 * 4) **Hmm I see what you mean. Changed it to "Sith Lord" rather than just "Sith"
 * 5) * What made Ralltiir so important?
 * 6) **Check it out
 * 7) * Context for Steadfast
 * 8) **Well I put "frigate" before it, so it reads "the frigate Steadfast
 * 9) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jujiggum ) 22:31, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Cheers dude. -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 23:08, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) Attack of the Clone
 * 12) * The intro is a bit long; try to see if you can shorten it a tad. It's mainly the extraneous details of his defeat that concern me.
 * 13) **I parsed it down but if some of that fluff is still there, let me know.
 * 14) * "Against the enemies' overwhelming numbers, Kelsan reluctantly surrendered to Fenel and ordered his crews to follow the Imperial Admiral's directives, who ordered the crews to take control of their warships and turn them over to the command of Roan Fel." Slight run-on, and the word choice for "ordered" can be varied.
 * 15) **In the re-wording of the second paragraph, I removed this entirely.
 * 16) * "Some damage" is unspecific; if the amount of damage isn't certain, you're probably better off with simply removing "some".
 * 17) **Removed the "some" and added that damage was sustained to the engines.
 * 18) * Can the fact that Avenger was his flagship be mentioned earlier instead of all the way down in the P&T?
 * 19) **It was already mentioned in the second paragraph of the first section. "Kelsan commanded the fleet from the bridge of the Avenger, a Pellaeon-class Star Destroyer"
 * 20) * Can one of the uses of "contacted [...] personally" be varied? (Note: I reworded one of them.)
 * 21) **I changed it to "Stazi made personal contact with Kelsan"
 * 22) * Slight context needed in the Bts for Ostrander, Francia and Anderson in relation to Legacy.
 * 23) **You'll have to be the judge of the context - added.
 * 24) *Good work.  CC7567  (talk) 00:13, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks for the review -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 14:53, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'll expand the BtS when the godly JJM releases production notes. If people want to add more pictures, go ahead! -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 18:30, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately I doubt JJM will provide notes for the comic he didn't write =)  Mauser  Comlink 18:52, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * It is my first Legacy nom, but that's no excuse! :P -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 12:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)