Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Telos IV


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Telos IV

 * Nominated by: Cylka  -talk- 23:31, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first FA nom. On advice from Graestan...

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:34, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice job. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:18, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:25, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --Eyrezer 22:20, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) DC 23:31, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 14:30, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 23:02, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) A couple of noodles from the Pasta Bowl:
 * 2) * "Telos once possessed an enormous planet-wide polar irrigation system, one that rivaled Coruscant's own." Seems POV-ish. I do not recall anything in TSL that says it rivaled Coruscant.
 * 3) **Bao-Dur does comment on it being "like the one on Coruscant". The sentence has been so amended.
 * 4) ***Fair enough, but "very" was removed, as that is PoV-ish.
 * 5) * I believe, although I could be incorrect, but the history section needs GameLS and Endgame for the portions pertaining to the Exile's mission on Telos.
 * 6) **The template(s) have been added.
 * 7) * "The search for the ship led the Exile's group to an old military base&hellip;" Is there an article on the military base? I believe a link is needed, but I cannot seem to find the article.
 * 8) **There is an article. Link has been inserted.
 * 9) * When mentioning the arrival of Carth Onasi, I think it might be beneficial to mention there that he was a Telosian. It serves as a plot point for his motivation in the game.
 * 10) **Added.
 * 11) *Otherwise, nice article, Cylka. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:22, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Objections addressed.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:30, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) DC
 * 14) * BtS needs to be expanded. As of now, the only source you use in it is KOTOR, and you need to talk about the other sources as well.
 * 15) **Expanded.
 * 16) * You seem to mention Crion and Xanatos a lot in the Bio, so add something about them in intro.
 * 17) **Both added.
 * 18) * Anything new for Telos in the CSWE?
 * 19) **Nothing new really, but I did add the CSWE as an additional ref note for some of the statements.
 * 20) * Explain how the Exile escaped from the Sith assassins and give some mention about just who her companions were.
 * 21) **Explained.
 * 22) *Very,very comprehensive. Great job, Cylka. DC 19:49, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks for looking it over, DC. Cylka  -talk- 18:27, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) Eyrezer:
 * 25) * What do you mean by "covering approximately one-fourth of the planet," in relation to a spacestation? (Restoration section)
 * 26) **Explained.
 * 27) ***Is this based off the images, or is there dialogue or something that states it?
 * 28) ****Since I couldn't find the actual source and the person responsible for this piece of information is unavailable, I removed it.
 * 29) *****Cool. With a 2D image of a 3D object, it just seemed a bit hard to determine its size.
 * 30) * "offered generously small bid-estimates for resupply and security contracts." This doesn't make sense. I think small should be low, but I also think the word generous is out of place, as it was not actually from generosity at all.
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Could you reword the start of the final paragraph of Restoration so that the focus is on the planet first, rather than on the Exile?
 * 33) **Reworded.
 * 34) * "entering a period of peace and gratification." What do you mean by gratification?
 * 35) **Removed gratification. I'm not even sure who inserted that one.
 * 36) * The image of the Telos Holocron needs to be moved to a more appropriate location, or removed if it will be too crowded.
 * 37) **Removed, as there isn't enough room for it in the appropriate section.
 * 38) * Some of the content in the Thani section seems more appropriate for the Citadel Station section.
 * 39) **All of it is removed, since it was essentially a repeat of the Citadel Station section. I have absolutely no idea who moved that information into there.
 * 40) * Add a section for Angelbay Station to the locations section.
 * 41) **Created a section. Cylka  -talk- 06:53, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * The start of the Bts detailing the first appearances of the planet is a little unclear. Could you rewrite this? --Eyrezer 03:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) **Rewritten and expanded.
 * 44) **Thanks for the review, Eyrezer. Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:27, 24 February 2009 (UTC)