Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/The Clone Wars: Transfer


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

The Clone Wars: Transfer

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 18:54, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first comic, well part of TCW, nom. Kilson inspired me to do this :)

(3 ACs/6 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) Glad to see I'm not the only one doing OOUs. Kilson Likes PIE 20:14, 27 July 09 (UTC)
 * 2) No problem; good job.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:23, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  08:27, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:43, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:38, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) --Clone Commander Lee 15:51, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Goodie.--Kreivi Wolter 17:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) As if my vote is needed :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:12, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:02, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Kilson helps out his fellow OOUers
 * 2) * The Plot section must be written in present tense. You start off writing in present, but you alternate between past and present several times in the section.
 * 3) **Yes, along with my copyedit, QuiGonJinn gave it a copyedit and replaced a lot of past tense wording.
 * 4) * In the Development subsection, you forgot to ref the date of the comic's release with the same ref you used in the infobox.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) *Otherwise, nice job dude. I'm surprised I inspired someone to do something other that eat PIE. :P Kilson Likes PIE 19:37, 27 July 09 (UTC)
 * 7) **Haha, thanks Kilson. Yeah, I plan to do another one of these comics since I know that I should write the plot in present tense :D
 * 8) What do you mean by "Skywalker then brings his attention to his Padawan, Ahsoka Tano."? Is Skywalker bringing the clone's attention to Ahsoka, or is he bringing his own attention to the Padawan? (If it's the latter, then this could probably be left out.) Nice work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:17, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *It is the latter, I'll remove it. Thanks for the review Jonny :)
 * 10) Grunny:
 * 11) * "a clone trooper sergeant tells Skywalker", "The clone sergeant tells Skywalker", "Skywalker tells his", "Skywalker also tells his", "Tano tells the Jedi Masters", "Unduli tells her", etc. This is very repetitive, try to mix it up.
 * 12) **Too many "tells". Addressed
 * 13) * The third paragraph of the Plot Summary is a collection of short choppy sentences, try to smooth them out and mix up the sentence structure a bit more. I would try to, but I think it would be good for you to do it.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 02:12, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Addressed, thanks for the review Grunny :)
 * 15) "Behind the scenes" in an OOU article? That either violates the MoS/LG, if we have one for OOU articles, or general FA precedent. Should be changed to something more appropriate, like "description" or somesuch. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:26, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *I was following Kilson's Procedure GA OOU article. However, I'll change the BtS to "Description". Thanks for the review Acky :)
 * 17) **Per MoS, OOU articles need a BtS. I reverted the "Description" title back to the standard BtS wording.
 * 18) ***See above. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:45, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ****See my above. I think it would be best if you use Bts other than description or anything else. I'm sorry Jang if this is holding up your nom, the AC told me they would clear it up soon if this gets out of control. Kilson Likes PIE 19:06, 05 August 09 (UTC)
 * 20) *****I've stricken per my comment above. Also nice that the AC doing such a good job, making sure our noms don't stay on the page an extra few days for discussion, which would obviously be disastrous and derail the whole process. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:34, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Soresu
 * 22) * However, Skywalker dictates that she must go and keep a close eye on Gunray, who had been captured in the past once, when Skywalker was younger. How is the fact that he has been captured before relevant? Will it make him more prepared or cautious or something? Also, "Skywalker was younger" is unneeded, since you have already established that it happened in the past. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:41, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Addressed, thanks for the review.
 * 24) Clone Commander Lee
 * 25) * Add at least 1 more image.
 * 26) **I don't think its necessary.
 * 27) * Include the pages number in the infobox.
 * 28) **Addressed
 * 29) *That's all. I'm writing Bait now. --Clone Commander Lee 15:40, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thanks for the review Lee.
 * 31) ***Anytime Jang, great work. --Clone Commander Lee 15:51, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) About quotes
 * 33) * Would Skywalker's and Tano's dialogue fit better in Plot summary, and the tagline of the comic to the top of the article? --Kreivi Wolter 12:05, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **You mean the tagline "Ahsoka joins Luminara in Transfer"? Added :)
 * 35) From the Council Chanbers:
 * 36) * We can now link to individual pages of the webcomic, so please reference accordingly.
 * 37) * Under Appearances, you list the wampa as being mentioned in Aurebesh. This appears to be an easter egg, since wampas have nothing to do with the story, and as such it should be mentioned in the BTS, as we commonly do with other Aurebesh easter eggs.
 * 38) *&mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:26, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) **All addressed. Thanks for the review Jonathan :)
 * 40) ***Not quite. You just added the page to the existing reference. Not everything can be sourced to that page; everything under "Attribution" in the infobox should be sourced to page=69 (the "inside cover" of the issue) while the issue number, "preceded by", and "followed by" fields in the infobox should be sourced to the table of contents (page=1). Also check the references in the BTS. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:41, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Addressed. I still don't think this is necessary, but nonetheless, it looks good. :)

Comments
 * Contradictory to Ackbar's objection (for the third time), Rule 15 states that all GAs must have a Bts as does the MoS. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)