Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Lanvarok

Lanvarok

 * Nominated by:  —Tommy  9281  Friday, December 2, 2011, 03:47 UTC  03:47, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Probably the last of the weapon barn burner's entries. Blame a tedious college semester.

Support

 * 1) Lookin' good!! :D Plagueis327 02:04, January 21, 2012 (UTC)
 * 2)  &mdash;NA YAYEN  20:53, February 13, 2012 (UTC)

Nayayen

 * In the infobox, "Advanced" and "Exotic" sound like the names for two variations. If that's the case, I personally think it makes more sense to swap the contents of the model and type fields around.
 * No, those are just categorical descriptors.  —Tommy  9281  Monday, February 13, 2012, 20:48 UTC 
 * "A quick forward swing [...] fanned out in a wildly random pattern." This sentence confuses me; how can a single disc fan out? If you meant for the multiple shots to fan out, then saying that they were cast out "aimed at the throat and face" seems contradictory.
 * The part that you left out talks about how multiple discs fan out, not a single one.  —Tommy  9281  Monday, February 13, 2012, 20:48 UTC 
 * "silently dispersed in a short yet random and nearly inescapable spray" Saying "silently" here is, again, contradictory to the fact that we have a sound file of a disc in flight. Was it possible to launch them in such a way that they flew silently? If that is the case, it should be more explicitly stated.
 * The source does say silently, but in the face of the obvious contradiction, I reworded to quietly. Let me know if that's sufficient.  —Tommy  9281  Monday, February 13, 2012, 20:48 UTC 
 * That's all from me. Absolutely superb read, Tommy.  &mdash;NA YAYEN  01:29, February 6, 2012 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review, Nayayen. Please advise if anything further is required.  —Tommy  9281  Monday, February 13, 2012, 20:48 UTC 

Trayus

 * I'm not sure if you have the book just yet, but Book of Sith includes journal entries from Sorzus Syn that profile ancient Sith weapons, including the lanvarok. Syn states that at the time (shortly after the Exiles' arrival in Sith Space), the arm-mounted gauntlet version of the lanvarok was in use by the armored soldiers of Domoru Krev. Also, Sidious has an annotation that calls the classic lanvarok "Messy and imprecise. The lanvarok is a weapon of indiscriminate terror." Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 07:24, February 17, 2012 (UTC)

Quick notes from the Council Chambers:

 * Very minor update needed from the new Lost Tribe eBook. Everything needed is in this edit summary.
 * Any particular reason you list Book of Sith under both Appearances and Sources? I'm pretty sure it should just be a Source.
 * removed the duplicate listing, so I'm calling this one resolved. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink Tuesday, March 6, 2012, 18:15 UTC
 * &mdash;MJ&mdash; Training Room Monday, March 5, 2012, 18:38 UTC

Savaged&hellip;

 * In some places, you spell out "credits," while in others you use the Cr template. Either should be fine, but it should probably be consistent.
 * Addressed.
 * "which included a primary triggering handle that curved downward and fit into the wielder's grip" --> Here, the "which" is ambiguous; it sounds like it's referring to the user's hand. Can you reword?
 * Addressed.
 * Can we get context for why the arrival of Dark Jedi during something called the Hundred Year Darkness is a significant time in "History"?
 * Addressed.
 * "their prevalence was anything but." I think there's a word missing from the end of this sentence.
 * Addressed.
 * Is Dequc's species important? None of the other named individuals in the same paragraph are given a species identification, so I'd either remove his or add them for the rest for consistency.
 * Addressed.
 * Real-world dates would be good for BTS, at least for their first appearance and the Mike Stackpole novel you give a month to, if not for all noted appearances or sources.
 * Addressed.
 * The BTS provides authors and artists for all the comics and novels, but not for the RPGs. Can you add those in? A very nice read, Tommy. ~ Savage BOB sig.png 23:33, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

Comments
Hi Tommy, I just added Coruscant and the Core Worlds to the article's source list. The lanvarok is mentioned on page 32, in the RPG stats of Ra-Zyrth, should you wish to check for yourself. --Jinzler 21:37, December 15, 2011 (UTC)