Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Revan (third nomination)

Revan

 * Nominated by: Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  21:52, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1) MULLET MAN FOREVAH 2) I'm incredibly sorry. 3) No, I'm not insane. 4) What can I say? I got bored.

Support

 * Now, if only movie main character articles could be this smooth...-- ID-21 Dolphin  DolphinJedi.png(Talk) 02:18, June 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) *Only Lando's that smooth. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  18:57, June 24, 2013 (UTC)

Quick look from the Council Chambers:

 * I'm going to take Jang's comment and make it a formal objection. The intro is way too long. I can tell that simply by the fact that I have a 1080p display, and I still have to scroll down to read the rest of the intro. For comparison, Wedge Antilles is over twice the size of this article, yet his intro is just 607 words compared to Revan's current 1,428. Based on that, I'd like to see the intro cut at least in half. Summarizing is the key here; notice how the Wedge intro handles three X-Wing novels with a single sentence about Wraith Squadron. Let the reader get the details from the body; in an article of this size, small details don't belong in the intro. Three to four paragraphs of the current size, maybe four to five if the paragraph size is reduced, should be the target here.
 * Cut down to four with 672 words. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:12, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Much better. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink 17:28, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * I may make a full review later if I get bored, but there's no guarantee. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Holocomm 22:57, June 21, 2013 (UTC)

SE decided to take a crack at it

 * Early life and Jedi training
 * In the first paragraph of this section, two sentences in a row are started with the, "The child" and "The Jedi Master" Would you mind switching one up a bit?
 * Uh... the first one is referring to Revan, and the second is the title of Kreia. I don't really see the need here.
 * Same with the second paragraph of that section
 * Same here. The two sentences are talking about different people. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:14, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * Looking at it now, i'm not sure why I objected to this :P Apparently you object to some wierd stuff when reviewing while tired :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 16:40, June 22, 2013 (UTC)

The crown jewel of WP:KOTOR

 * These following objections are preliminary, although this section of objections will deal with the article in full. In addition, I intend to make this review my finest, as the scope of this article and the subject in question will require that.
 * Aboard the Endar Spire: Now believing himself to be a Republic soldier&hellip; If you could source his position as a soldier, that'd be great. I know that the Essential Guide to the Force, a conversation with Onasi in-game, and the TOR Encyclopedia.
 * Done.
 * Upon entering the next hallway, the two soldiers discovered a pair a Sith troopers and opened fire on the boarders. Continuing through the ship&hellip; So what happened to the troopers?
 * Done.
 * until they happened upon a Jedi and a Dark Jedi battling each other. Please link the Jedi and Sith to their respective articles.
 * Bah. I even looked at their articles while looking through the KOTOR articles.
 * Throughout the "Searching for Bastila" subsection, the image captions are in italics. Could you correct this?
 * Currently, I am unable too; there seems to be a problem with the Gamemechanics family that italicizes image captions if they are on the next line after the template. I'll have someone look into this.
 * OK.
 * Fixed. The templates in that family all had a stray  near the end of the code. Removing that solved the issue. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink 19:56, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Did you check the CSWE for some information? I am only asking out of curiosity, because when I read through the article, I'll make a point to cross-reference. Nice job thus far, I'll continue later. I like how you handled my girl Yuthura.&mdash; 14:19, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Yep. Read through all three volumes for any mention of KOTOR, and used all the entries to establish as much of the game as canon as I could. Thanks.
 * Returning to May and the others, Revan informed them of the terentatek's defeat, and the grateful students fled the shyrack caves to freedom. Please reference this. &mdash; 14:21, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * Don't forget to add that he used a violet blade in his duel with Malak, as far as Timeline 8 is concerned. &mdash; 14:26, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * I wouldn't call that a violet blade; it's really more blue to me. Besides, going by Shadows and Light, Revan has a blue blade during the duel.
 * I won't argue.&mdash; 14:48, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * I would also like to add, thank God that that Chee actually confirmed that "Mullet Man" was the facial model used in TOR. I've been bugging him for months about this issue.&mdash; 14:31, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * The 8th paragraph of the "Searching for Bastila" section needs to be referenced.
 * Done.
 * In the 6th paragraph of the same section, you mention Nord without giving any context, which is located in the following paragraph. Please fix this. &mdash; 15:13, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * Could you pipelink articles for the two brothers in the Outcast village?&mdash; 15:14, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm not seeing any articles for those Outcasts.
 * Please create them.
 * Done. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  23:36, July 29, 2013 (UTC)
 * Please comb through the article and correct instances of using first names as opposed to surnames. Only where needed, though. &mdash; 15:59, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done; I have left the naming of Bastila when her mother's involved, Mission when Griff is involved, Carth when Dustil is involved, and Canderous when his clan is involved. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:20, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm back, got my PC back. I'll continue where I left off. Been a hell of a few weeks.&mdash; 06:21, July 24, 2013 (UTC)
 * "At one of the nearby escape pods, an injured Republic soldier begged Revan for help&hellip;" An article for the infected Republic soldier would be good. &mdash; 19:22, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done.
 * Revan, Shan, and Onasi then left the apartment only to be met by a Twi'lek messenger&hellip; An article for the Twi'lek would be great. &mdash; 17:47, August 8, 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  19:40, August 12, 2013 (UTC)
 * Still seeing some instances of first name usage as opposed to surnames, please fix where applicable. I'm reading through Tatooine.&mdash; 21:54, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Well, that section in particular needs more first name usage than the others&mdash;there's Mission and Griff, and Helena and Bastila. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  22:01, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * True, though I had caught the early mention of "Canderous" in the section's first paragraph. I wanted to inform you of where I was in regards to reviewing the article.&mdash; 22:18, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Could you create an article for the Sand People chieftan?&mdash; 16:23, September 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * Linked. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  19:21, September 27, 2013 (UTC)

Tiny details
Otherwise, awesome job!-- ID-21 Dolphin  (Talk) 23:27, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
 * For Revan's homeworld, "Outer Rim" is technically not a world, so it should say something to the effect of "an Outer Rim planet (believed)".
 * Meh. Done, though it looks funky.
 * Also, some images appear small compared to those on most articles. Perhaps it's just me.
 * Maybe true, but I've gone for a larger number of images than most articles, so I've kept the sizes down.
 * A few little grammar things on image captions: the caption should say "Darths (with an S) Andeddu, et. al., and the caption saying "Revan wearing his trademark mask" should not have a period. For minute details like these, ask me if you just want me to change them myself as I find them.
 * Done. I could have sworn I added that Darths.
 * The fourth paragraph of the into mentions the "Jed Master".
 * Done.
 * Thank you. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  02:05, June 24, 2013 (UTC)

It is time for your circuits to fry!

 * In the Combat skills subsection of "Powers & abilities" you make no mention of his lightsaber skills and feats, you're simply describing Revan's lightsabers. Improve this. Winterz (talk) 14:51, August 26, 2013 (UTC)
 * His skills are highly customizable, and I'm not a fan of the "feats" section that lists every battle the guy's ever fought. However, I've added his two most notable duels. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:40, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
 * I have no idea what you mean with a "feats" section nor has what you mentioned anything to do with what I requested but anyway, your recent update was sufficient! Winterz (talk) 17:28, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
 * I was referring to the kind of P&A that existed before I wrote the article up, and the kind that are present on articles like the Skywalkers. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  17:58, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
 * You could've just said "the kind that will be terminated". Winterz (talk) 18:21, August 27, 2013 (UTC)

Clone fly-by

 * Is there no more information available on the deleted scene from "Ghosts of Mortis"? The Blu-ray edition of The Complete Season Three actually has an early version of the scene with 3D storyboarding, and while I don't have access to it myself, it should be detailed in the Bts somehow.  CC7567  (talk) 21:35, September 22, 2013 (UTC)
 * I've gotten all of the information I could get from online at the moment; I will ultimately get ahold of the actual Blu-ray by the time this passes. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  03:49, October 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * Please do.  CC7567  (talk) 15:00, October 15, 2013 (UTC)

Hateocracy

 * Having gone no farther than the ToC, I can tell that the companions section is missing a few subsections. I figure the droids deserve a subsection, at least. Also, I could be wrong, but I'm under the impression that there might be a few characters from the novel or TOR that qualify. Expand it or kill it in the name of equality. SinisterSamurai (talk) 06:00, December 5, 2013 (UTC)
 * T3-M4 done; I'm working on HK-47. There really aren't any other characters that need one. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  20:22, December 26, 2013 (UTC)

Exiled Jedi

 * Rise of the Sith
 * "As the title of Darth was previously unknown to the Republic and the Jedi, many scholars believed that Revan and Malak were the first Sith to use it, and they speculated that the title was derived from the Rakatan language." The part about the Rakatan language makes the positioning seem off, since as far as I know the Republic did not know about the Rakatan language at this point. The transition is a little too abrupt as well.
 * "The success of HK-47 led Revan to decide that more droids like him would help maintain galactic stability, and HK-47 became the basis for the HK-50 series of droids which were constructed on Telos." I don't think that this part can be sourced to the first game, at least from what I remember. The mention of them being constructed on Telos is a rather abrupt change since the last thing mentioned was the bombardment, which pretty much destroyed the planet. I believe additional context is needed if you are going to mention Telos.
 * I added redlinks for the Echani senator and the Elders' tome for this section.
 * Aboard the Endar Spire
 * "Continuing through the ship, Revan heeded Ulgo's recommendation to draw a vibrosword as they stormed the Sith-held bridge. When they were unable to find Shan, the two rushed for the escape pods so that they would not be caught in the Spire destruction." I thought that Ulgo told him to use a vibroblade not a vibrosword, which are two different weapons in the game.
 * "Warning Revan to hurry, Onasi suggested that he use his stealth gear to bypass a nearby Sith patrol, and Revan quickly made his way through the next few corridors before Onasi contacted him again." I thought that scouts were the only class to have stealth gear at this point.
 * Oops, I meant scoundrels.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  15:06, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Actually, I was playing as a scout... I think all classes get it... Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:22, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Ok, I couldn't remember.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  17:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * I will continue at "Searching for Bastila" later. (I had forgotten that I had already reviewed the first few sections of the biography.)-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  05:30, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Searching for Bastila
 * Doesn't the player encounter the bounty hunters and the merchant before they can encounter Largo or the Sith commander interrogating the Aqualish.
 * Not the way I played it.... I came out of my apartment and almost immediately ran into the Sith.
 * Not the one attacking the Duros, the one with the Aqualish where you get the uniforms.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  17:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * If the player defeats Twitch, Bendak Starkiller challenges the player to a death match. The light side decision for the player is to turn down the match. I think this would be good to mention.
 * Done.
 * You didn't mention the drunk guys or Gorton Colu anywhere.
 * Colu, check... drunk guys, though.... Do you remember when they show up?
 * I think the drunk guys show up when you first go to the elevator that takes you to the lower city.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  17:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure if this should be mentioned, but Revan can find that Zelka Forn had hidden some dying Republic soldiers in his facility.
 * Eh, it's a valid thing about Forn, but not necessarily important for Revan.
 * What about Selven?
 * Weird. I remember writing about her.
 * "A woman named Hester was arguing with the gatekeeper Trewin, begging him to let her husband Hendar back into the village, but Trewin refused because Trewin was pursued by a rakghoul and he could not risk the creature infecting the villagers." I think you mean that Hendar was pursued by the rakghoul.
 * Done.
 * I added a redlink for the Twi'lek who surrendered.
 * I will continue my review after you handle the above objections.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  16:08, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Escaping Taris
 * There are a few planet related things you might want to mention.
 * What do you mean?
 * It seems to me that you should mention T3-H8 at some point since Revan can buy him and then returns him.
 * Done.
 * Don't forgot this guy: Unidentified Ithorian (Upper City).
 * Done.
 * Gelrood, the pazaak player in Javyar's Cantina.
 * Done.
 * I added a redlink for the receptionist, but you might want to change it since I can't remember if she was Twi'lek or Human.
 * She's Human.
 * Just making sure: Canderous meets Revan in the Upper City Cantina and then in the Javyar's Cantina. I was thinking that both meetings were in Javyar's.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  18:11, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Yep. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  20:08, January 5, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

 * You have no life. On the other hand, amazing job. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 21:59, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * I can't really tell on this screen resolution, but that intro is ridiculously big (no, this is no joke).  JangFett  (Talk) 22:03, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * Per dogma and Jang. Fe Nite (talk) 01:07, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
 * Well, I've asked around, and a lot of people believe it's a good length for the size of the article. A lot happens to this guy. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  01:13, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
 * I won't lie Cade. You scare me.  Commander Code-8  You lost the game! 10:17, June 25, 2013 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure if this is an objection worthy issue, but the segments dealing with the events shown in the novel read very differently from the rest of the article and seem more akin to a narrative than an encyclopedic article. I recall the article being marked for this problem in the past but the template appears to have been removed so perhaps I'm simply mistaken and this style of writing is permissible. Either way good luck with the effort; you carry the torch for all WP:KOTOR members and fans of KOTOR everywhere! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 08:28, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
 * Hey, thanks. As for the narrative/encyclopedic thing, the article was actually tagged with a Copyvio template because a user actually copied most of the second half of the novel into the article without making many changes. I wrote up the TOR:Revan events while reading the novel, and I guess the reason it reads differently than the KOTOR stuff is because I can go more in-depth as to what actually happened, unlike KOTOR's conversations and the character's feelings. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  14:44, July 11, 2013 (UTC)


 * Revan married Bastilla not Shan. That needs to be changed.
 * Wookieepedia common encyclopedic practice is to refer to characters by their last name in further mentions after they have been introduced. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  20:08, August 6, 2013 (UTC)


 * Revan looks horrible in Star Wars: The Old Republic... IMO. Is there any chance that the image of him on this page could be changed to one of him wearing his hood and mask? That's the Revan I remember... A badass.
 * As this is his canonical face, no, there isn't. Cade  StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg  Calrayn  16:03, January 3, 2014 (UTC)