Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday and Thursday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Nas Choka

 * Nominated by: Harrar 16:55, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Long overdue&hellip;

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Reads like a history of the Yuuzhan Vong War. Great work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:59, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 13:06, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Superb. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:26, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Anvil:
 * 2) * The Journey to War section, first sentence. Choka was a commander of what? For who?
 * 3) **Clarified. See watcha think.
 * 4) * Next sentence. To whom is this galaxy promised? Where was the Vong fleet approaching from? some context/clarification please.
 * 5) **Again, clarified I hope.
 * 6) * You have instances of both "Supreme Overlord" and "supreme overlord". I believe it to be the former, so please make sure every instance of the term is capitalized.
 * 7) **I'm gonna do this later in the week; it's too much for tonight. Based on The Final Prophecy, and The Unifying Force, I'm going with "Supreme Overlord" all the way through.
 * 8) ***Sorted. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:32, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * the living planet persisted; ?
 * 10) **"Stories of the living planet persisted..." Harrar 21:21, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * More to come, stay tuned. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:04, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **I look forward to it&mdash;thanks for reviewing it. Harrar 21:21, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) LtNOWIS
 * 14) * Two sentences that could use rephrasing :
 * 15) **" His tactician informed him that the announcement had been made by the priest Harrar, who it had transpired had defected to the Galactic Alliance. "
 * 16) ***Chack got this one.
 * 17) **" While he trusted emphatically in the Supreme Overlord, however, Choka was not as convinced by Jamaane's trust in the goddess Yun-Harla, who was believed to have associated with Jaina Solo and Harrar, the former of whom had killed Tsavong Lah in personal combat, and the latter of whom had disappeared off Yuuzhan'tar around the time of the Second Battle of Bilbringi. "
 * 18) ***Chack got this one.
 * 19) * Also, Image:TUF2 cover Japm.jpg should specify that it's from the Japanese cover, not the US one, to avoid confusion.
 * 20) **Done.
 * 21) *--LtNOWIS 21:14, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 23) * Is the Jaamane Coup really referred to as such, capitalization and all, in the sources? If not, please rename it in the article. The answer to this question will also lead me to move the coup's article and slap a on it.
 * 24) **Conjectural title; nom's been changed, article moved and conjecture tag added.
 * 25) *Are we going to italicize Koros-strohna or not? It's in there both ways.
 * 26) **I can't find any italicized version of it. Could you point me toward it?
 * 27) ***I un-italicized one, that's all there was. There are currently three, I believe, instances of it without italics. Graestan ( Talk ) 16:01, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think I may have gotten all of them a few days ago.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:11, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Checking the NEGTD, Koros-strohna should be italicized so I've changed it.
 * 30) *Same goes for the rest of the bioship names.
 * 31) **Do you mean the individual ship names or their type or what? Looking through the article and making use of ctrl+f I can't find any instance where a ship name isn't italicized. Having not written the article I can't say there's none for sure but if you could be more specific it should help me fix any problems.
 * 32) ***The class names. To be honest, I'd like to see them all italicized, since we're dealing with words in an alien language. Graestan ( Talk ) 16:01, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) ****They're not italicized in the novels or the New Essential Guide to Vessels and Vehicles and Harrar's other YV FAs have created a precedent not to do so, so I think we shouldn't italicize. Having just read through it and utilized ctrl+f, they should all be good now. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:26, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) * Graestan ( Talk ) 20:08, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I've done what I can with pictures, but there is only one of Nas Choka himself. Others, like the Battle of Coruscant, will need to be cropped to remove the hand. I was thinking of one of Shimrra Jamaane, but if you look at his article all of his images are rather poor. Help would be greatly appreciated Harrar 16:55, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm now away until the 10th of September, with precious little internet access. I'll deal with any objections on my return. Harrar 10:41, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * It sucks to pull out of this with only one Inqvote and one set of objections, because it means it probably won't pass without my hand to resolve them. That's by no means an indictment of the process here; it's a massive article, and I know Yuuzhan Vong can be pretty boring. I don't really want to remove the nomination, though, (but that's probably what will happen in my absence). I dunno, maybe someone will get involved in the process and take up the burden of resolving the objs. If not, then I'm sorry to prat around on the FANom page, and guess you guys can remove the nom. I won't be working on the article again, but even if it does go down as a failed candidate, I'm happy that it's better than what it was. Apologies again. Harrar 11:35, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Just to note: I intend to look after this nom and see to any objections in Harrar's absence. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:16, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Star Wars Trading Card Game

 * Nomination by: - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:34, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope that this gets through, and improves when if you spot something I've overlooked.

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Shouldn't there be a conception section, as well as a reception section? Create those, and I'll come back to give it an all out review. DC 21:29, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added a reception section. Also put a note on your talk page - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:46, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa's Silver Hammer:
 * 4) *Rather than listing each expansion set within that section, the article would benefit from subsectioning each item and briefly providing a brief summary of each, explaining what each new expansion brought to the table, how it changed/contributed to the overall game, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:06, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Etahn A'baht

 * Nomination by: - Havac 06:22, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Summer work, now getting nommed. And pretty short. Havac 06:22, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 users/0 total)
Support
 * 1) DC 01:43, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) * "A'baht and Ackbar worked hard to convince her" Worked hard seems to be an overstatement, as well as a bit POVish.
 * 2) **They worked hard to convince her. They were not indifferent. I don't really see how it's POV. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) * "A prolonged state of cold war existed between Dornea and the dominant galactic power, in which A'baht kept the Empire from Dornea" Something seems to be missing near the end from the sentence...
 * 4) **He kept them from Dornea, as in he kept them off it. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * First, you say A'baht was promoted to general, then you say he commanded the Dornean Nav. Please clarify the contrast here.
 * 6) **It's inherent in the sources. He was commanding the navy before he got the promotion. Not much we can do. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * Could at least give a little bit of context for Luke?
 * 8) **How do you mean? Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Is the triple ref'ing in the BtS necessary? Naming the trilogy kind of self sources it, and the other ref'ing isn't needed either.
 * 10) **Well, I don't think it hurts. I just source everything. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *Great article Havac. DC 22:10, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Objections resolved via IRC discussion with Havac. DC 01:43, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Derek Klivian

 * Nomination by: - Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My other summer nom. Image replacement by Red is ongoing. Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Object

Comments

Janek Sunber

 * Nomination by: Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Well, if it doesn't pass, at least it'll meet GA standards now. Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Pretty much all the images in this article need to be re-scanned.
 * Image:Sunber-in-your-face.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-action.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Ziering.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-closeup.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Luke-Kalist.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-sleepless.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Luke-fight.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-working.jpg
 * --Imperialles 20:54, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I recall, before Sunber and Tank were revealed to be the same, fans wondering about Tank and Randy Stradley specifically saying something about how they had plans for him. Could be good information for the BTS, if I'm not making it up and someone could find the source (I think it's on the DH boards). Since I don't have the source, I'm Commenting this and not objecting. - Lord Hydronium 09:25, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Google isn't turning up anything, but I'll keep poking around a little. Havac 17:42, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I seem to be incorrect on the source. In this thread Quest mentions Pablo saying it, I suspect in Insider. Also, later Barlow gives a little more info on when they developed the Sunber/Tank thing. - Lord Hydronium 18:14, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Someone wrote into Pablo's regular column in Star Wars Insider asking about Tank, and how we've never heard about him. Pablo said something was in the works. -LtNOWIS 02:56, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

First Battle of Ruusan

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún and Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Our first joint project for the revitalization of WookieeProject: New Sith Wars

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:32, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 17:43, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) It's not sourced. I also suspect it's been mentioned in other sources like the NEC. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:08, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, I believe. Thanks for looking, and if there are more, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:31, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) "The First Battle of Ruusan was written and conceived by author Drew Karpyshyn" - is absolute rubbish. It was first conceived as the background for the Dark Forces game, and first described in the Dark Forces novella. Please expand and amend the BtS. QuentinGeorge 12:28, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Since you are privy to that information and I am not, care to rectify? It would be greatly appreciated. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:04, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed the "absolute rubbish", I believe. If more is required, please advise, thanks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:31, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***A month has passed since the objector left his opinion, and the issue since has been addressed/rectified. I am requesting it be removed or stricken, in light of their failure to do so. Please advise, thanks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 21:57, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****The BtS has been amended, but have you searched the new sources for extra info? Surely there's some. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:34, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Unless I am misunderstanding (which is possible), that has no relevance to QuentinGeorge's objection. If your statement is from a discrepancy with the article, please leave it in the form of an objection, and I will address it separately/as well. As far as the objection in question goes, it has been fixed, and the objector has virtually abandoned it after a request on my part to review. Please advise whether it can be Inqremoved or not, thank you. —Tommy 9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:51, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ******I know it's not directly related to QG's objection - note the first part of my comment. If you're so reluctant to put in some work to potentially improve the article regardless of how relevant the comment is to anything, and only address things that are direct objections. . .well, that's your prerogative. About the Inqvote, it's general precedent that the Inq starts a remove vote on its own initiative or by personal request, I believe. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:59, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *******The mention of First Ruusan was so vaguely alluded to in the Dark Forces novella that it would be impossible to add any information, because there would be none to add. It is not specifically mentioned at all, rather being part of a general (and very short) statement made about the Ruusan Campaign. The article reflects this already. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:54, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ********In that case, I'm a little unsure how it can have first appeared if it wasn't actually mentioned. If it's just the Campaign that's mentioned or later battles then it should be removed from the appearances list and the BtS clarified that the Campaign was established by Deitz and the actual first battle itself first came in SWDBPODANOTOR. If this isn't the case it needs clarification anyway because I'm confused about it. If you could provide the quote from Jedi Knight here that'd be great. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:49, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *********Okay. I've amended the BtS as suggested, and I've fixed the appearances discrepancy. So this should be all good now, and if not, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:10, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **********All sorted. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***********Great, and thank you for your assistance, Ackbar. I am now requesting that the abandoned objection be stricken, as it has been successfully been addressed at this point. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 16) * "should Kaan manage to emerge victorious," Victorious overall, or victorious at Ruusan?
 * 17) * Contextify the Army of Light.
 * 18) **Addressed (added a word).
 * 19) * Contextify Hoth and the other Jedi Master in BtS.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) * Correct me if I'm wrong, but Rule of Two isn't the first Karpyshyn novel, right?
 * 22) **LOL addressed.
 * 23) * A supporting picture or two would be nice. Not a hard and fast objection.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) * Please make sure that other Sith casualties aren't mentioned. This is not a hard and fast objection.
 * 26) ** Sorry, but I don't understand. Please advise, thanks. Addressed now via IRC. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:20, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *I cleaned up a decent amount of the prose; the writing style was a bit stilted before, pushing on the lines of flowery. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:37, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 29) * No general quotes about the war itself to be gleaned from Path of Destruction?
 * 30) **None, sorry, and believe me, I looked.
 * 31) ***So, no one in the book says anything about the war and its progress? Graestan ( Talk ) 23:14, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Sure they do, but nothing that even remotely relates to this specific battle. It would be like taking the opening GSW article quote and using it for say, Foerost. The only thing I could think to do is use the quote from Jedi Knight, where Hoth talks about the Sith losing all but two of the Ruusan battles (which is still rather vague). Please let me know what you think. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:11, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) *****I'm not looking for a lead quote, just something about the war from the novel for the "Prelude" section. Don't Des's acquaintances talk about it, or the Republic officers, or anyone? Graestan ( Talk ) 00:41, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) ****** They talk about the Jedi & Sith, and the talk is of the war in general, all very broad. It just won't work. If there is a quote you have in mind, please feel free to add it; I'm quite exhausted with trying to force one. Otherwise, I respectfully ask you to reconsider your position. Thank you. I found two. See if you like those.  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:24, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * "When a much smaller fleet of Sith warships" – Much smaller than what, precisely? Please specify.
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * I may know what "puissance" means, but likely less than a tenth of our readers do. Please find a suitable alternative.
 * 38) **Lol addressed.
 * 39) * "the latest resurrection" – This needs some sort of reference point.
 * 40) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 41) * "Considering the number of Republic vessels in Ruusan's orbit, Kaan decided to lead the strike himself from his personal command ship, Nightfall." – A little more explanation is necessary.
 * 42) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 43) * Not so sure "debuted in battle" seems like appropriate phrasing.
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) * The exchange between Kopecz and the Selkath is a bit stilted. Please reword in a more flowing fashion.
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) * The introduction of the Army of Light at the end needs some context, and the outcome of the war should be mentioned.
 * 48) **Addressed, I believe. Thanks for the review Grae. If these still aren't good, please let me know. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:20, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:26, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Vote to strike QuentinGeorge's objection (Inquisitorius only)
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:49, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Seems to be fixed now. Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:11, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Per GT.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:24, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:51, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Graestan ( Talk ) 21:28, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * First of many, from the Anvil & Xadún. Be wary of what is to come. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 10:56, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Duel on Ambria

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún and Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A psychopathic Sith. Decapitation. Force Lightning. Lightsabers. A duel with it all.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:10, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:58, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think the intro's a little two long -- three paragraphs seems excessive for a 9 KB article. Also, and I'll get back to you with a proper objection soon, I think parts of this might be Play-by-play. Things like "Cries of mercy faded to silence as Bane retracted his blade, having ended Hetton's life" read like a narrative to me. As I said, I'll get back to you on this when I've more time to make a proper review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:12, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Still several paragraghs in the intro, but it has been shortened. Removed what I believe may be play-by-play, and eliminated the narrative. If not satisfactory, please advise. Thank you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Hey Hey Hey:
 * 4) * I don't think you should call Zannah treacherous in the intro. It was a betrayal of Hetton, no? Or at least she used that excuse?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Anyone reason convinced is in italics? I don't think that's needed.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Minor thing, but holocron is not capitalized.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * I'd suggest mentioning that Hetton was an aristocrat when you introduce him in the body.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *Nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:19, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for looking, Chack. If anything else is required. For a good time, check out the Senate Hall & Korriban Academy ones too;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:24, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 15) * " Surprised, he instead spared her life, and regarded Zannah with respect, recognizing her potential as the next Dark Lord of the Sith. " A bit confusing at the end. What exactly does that mean?
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * Context on Shadow Assassins' ties to the Sith needed.
 * 18) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 19) * " he completely embraced the dark side and decimated his enemies, killing all the assassins in a final attack." A bit of flowery prose here.
 * 20) **Really? That's exactly how it happened in the book. He embraced the dark side, and totally destroyed the remaining Assassins. I left it as simple yet direct as possible without plagiarizing. Please advise how I should go about changing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:07, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Fair enough. I was hoping Karpyshyn had a more concrete explanation, but that's fine. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:58, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * "and the pair departed for Ambria on board Hetton's ship the Loranda, intent on relieving the Dark Lord of his mantle." Are details on how the Umbarans got there available?
 * 23) **No, but it can be assumed that they traveled with Zannah and Hetton. Addressed.
 * 24) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:45, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Pleasure doing business with you, Ataru. My colleague and I thank you for the review. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:07, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources. Should be a good read. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:06, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Sirak

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: A double-bladed lightsaber-wielding Zabrak? How original&hellip;from WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object -- Jaina Solo ( Talk ) 23:50, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) BtS needs sourcing. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:14, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) * Adjudsted so that the Bts is sourced within the paragraph. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 21:33, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still not sourced. "Karpyshyn has acknowledged this error, and requested that readers consider Vaapad to read Juyo instead" isn't self-sourcing. Neither is the info about Mace creating Vaapad. You need a ref note with the specific blog link, and possibly another one about the creation of Vaapad. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:58, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Jaina Solo: 
 * 6) * "He was rumored amongst some of the apprentices that Sirak had begun training under the Korriban Academy's Headmaster, Qordis, some twenty years before."--Reword and expand.
 * 7) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "During his time at the Academy, Sirak rose through the throng of students to become the top apprentice there. He won the admiration of two fellow Zabraks within the Academy, the twins Yevra and Llokay, though he was by far their superior in skill. The two apprentices followed Sirak constantly, giving the appearance of obedient servants following their master. Compared to the other students, his power was so great that several apprentices believed Sirak was the Sith'ari, an embodiment of the dark side itself."--POV; please reword.
 * 9) **Addressed above, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Academy/academy"--Please choose one.
 * 11) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *"Furious and desperate for vengeance, Sirak plotted ways of killing Bane. His opportunity presented itself when Githany, a deserter of the Jedi Order and Bane's other secret teacher alongside Kas'im, sought Sirak out to kill Bane. Along with his Zabrak kin Llokay and Yevra, he waited in the library while Githany lured Bane to them. However, Githany had also betrayed the Zabrak trio, furnishing Bane with his lightsaber to defend himself. The former Jedi killed the twin Zabrak with her lightwhip, and Bane decapitated Sirak even as he begged for mercy.”--This could be reworded to make the paragraph flow better.
 * 13) **Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Although there were other apprentices who used this style of saber…"—Style of saber?
 * 15) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Bane had spent much time in his secret training learning the techniques of the double-bladed saber that both Sirak and Kas'im wielded, seeking to understand it and so nullify it's advantage of being unfamiliar to most students." Sounds confusing; please reword.
 * 17) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * In the last paragraph of Rivalry with Bane, you use "seeking" twice.
 * 19) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * "All the apprentices were granted the title of Dark Lord of the Sith, declared equal in the Brotherhood, and furnished with their own lightsabers.” Isn’t there a word missing here?
 * 21) **Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *”He was the most powerful of the three Zabrak studying at the Academy during the end of the New Sith Wars."—POV
 * 23) **The book does describe him as the strongest of the three. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:52, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***That's still POV, as worded. If you say that he was deemed to be, was considered as, or believed himself as the most powerful, that's NPOV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *Tense issues in BtS.
 * 27) **Addressed. Thank you for the read, Jaina. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1)  Objection left unaddressed for over a month. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:08, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) If Xadun decides to return, I'll have no problem striking this, but move it or lose it otherwise. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:03, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Do not remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1) Tommy appears to have taken it over and made some work on it.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I hope you don't misunderstand our colleagues' "move it or lose it" message as conveyed by removal votes. I almost voted to remove this one, too, until I saw it had been worked on since the vote began. Graestan ( Talk ) 03:36, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **No, of course not. I was contemplating voting with them as well, when I saw Tommy's note. I decided to wait a few days to see if any objections were addressed, and since they were, I figured I would set up the "don't remove nom" vote just to make sure people were aware that it was no longer lying dormant. I have no problems with moving idle noms off the FAN page. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 05:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I will take over his noms n his absence. Please give a little time to begin fully addressing the objections. Thank you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 18:57, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Kopecz

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: The natural counterpart to Kas'im. Again, WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) It's likely missing info from the Official Star Wars Fact File in relation to his early life. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:15, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Neither my partner or I has access to the fact file, so if you can provide it, we'd both be greatly appreciative. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:41, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I don't either, unfortunately; you might want to ask Jaymach or Cav or anyone else with access to them. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:16, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***After obtaining the Fact File, it has been determined that there is no new info. It says pretty much the same things as PoD does. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:56, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Fair enough. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:58, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 7) *The Quote attribution is a little unclear in "The Brotherhood of Darkness" section.
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) *The opening paragraph of the bio needs a bit more context. When did he live, what species he was, what his homeworld was etc. It starts off with him leaving the Jedi Order but it should start with him leaving Ryloth and becoming a Jedi in the first place.
 * 10) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 11) *"attempting to establish a system with numerous Dark Lords" &mdash; bit of context on the significance of this, please. What was a Dark Lord and how was Kaan's approach different?
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) *"Together, the three Sith planned the Battle of Korriban&mdash;after the Brotherhood re-took the ancient Sith homeworld..." &mdash; this also needs context and to be properly explained. As is it seems to be assuming the reader is already familiar with the information. They planned the battle; who actually fought in it? Did Kopecz? Re-took the Sith homeworld from whom? Etc.
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) *"Kopecz, however, remained with Kaan to continue the war against the Galactic Republic." &mdash; again, context is needed here. This is the first mention of a war with the Republic, and if Kopecz is "continuing" the battle then he'd have to already been participating, but that's not been mentioned before in the bio. This stuff could easily go with the first paragraph.
 * 16) **I believe this too has been addressed through handling of previous objections.
 * 17) *The stuff about the Battle of Ulahore needs some changes; it's not presented in chronological order at present. The outcome of the battle isn't mentioned, either. I'm also not sure if the stuff about Bane establishing the Rule of Two at a later point is really appropriate, but it's up to you if you want to keep it.
 * 18) **That section talks about Ulabore (a person), not Ulahore. The battle mentioned at this point is at Phaseera. Also, I removed the bit about Bane and the RoT, which I agree, isn't really appropriate here.
 * 19) *"was like he had his teeth on their throats" -- please reword to read less colloquially.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) *"Kopecz then mounted his flyer and took off for the battle, which seemed would result in a victory for the Sith." -- this reads awkwardly at best "which seemed would;" also, seemed to whom?
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) *We jump from the third battle to the sixth quite suddenly. Some mention that the Sith and Republic remained in war for several battles/X amount of time would be prudent.
 * 24) *"Following their defeat, Kopecz joined the remaining members of the Brotherhood in a network of caves at Kaan's order. He explained to Githany and Darovit that Kaan intended to use the thought bomb to defeat the Jedi, at which Githany chose to flee, taking Darovit with her." &mdash; again, this makes little to no sense for those who aren't familiar with the topic/source material. Who's Darovit? You've already mentioned Githany before but another mention of who she is wouldn't go amiss. What's a thought bomb, what's the significance of it, and why did Githany want to flee? Also, you need to mention Kopecz finding out about it before he tells anyone.
 * 25) *"Kopecz was committed to joining Kaan and the others, swept up in Kaan's manipulation through the Force" needs some clarifcation.
 * 26) *The "Thought bomb" and "Last stand" sections are both extremely short and should be merged/resectioned.
 * 27) *Context on the defenders of the caves, please. Also, explain that the Seventh Battle of Ruusan is -- presumably -- the battle in the caves; it's not all that clear and jumps fairly suddenly. Farfalla's also introduced rather suddenly; please amend.
 * 28) *BtS: mention his appearance in PoD and how it expanded his backstory yada yada before moving on to the eye colour. Also, why is the Galactic Campaign Guide info not in the bio. It should be.
 * 29) **Decent read, but remember that you're writing a character biography, not a summary of the comics. Also note that the majority of the readers won't be familiar with the source material so explain and contextify things fully. Lastly, Bane has obviously never seen Orn Free Taa. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:58, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Many thanks to Cavalier One for providing the Fact File for me. Like Xadún's others, I will be taking this one over as well in his absence. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:56, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Duel in the Korriban Academy

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: In conjunction with Sirak and WP:NSW

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * I dislike referring to the Zabrak as "kin"&mdash;that implies a more familial relationship. Please reword.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Githany secretly believed she could" She could what?
 * 5) *Lots of little tweaks were needed on this. Nevertheless, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Addressed. Thank you, Ataru. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:09, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nom now under Anvil management. Don't be shy, Inqs, it's not very long. It won't bite;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:24, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Gobee

 * Nominated by: -- —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Oron Kira wasn’t the only badass Beast Rider.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:01, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Since I know you love longer introductions, hah, I'm going to suggest that you lengthen that intro a bit (within reason!) and add a bit more. This article is substantially longer than another which you've written, and it has a tiny intro! :P Any chance you could expand it a little bit, Tom?
 * 3) **LOL, and addressed.
 * 4) * I know some people like to say the lead quote doesn't matter and that quotes are subjective...but, I like to see the opposite side of that fence; any chance we could get a more descriptive selection for the lead quote at the beginning? Something that speaks to Gobee's character, or personality, rather than what's there currently? I'm on the edge with this one, so if you're not comfortable with changing, just let me know and I'll strike regardless.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *I haven't finished reading it yet, but if there's anything else in the coming days that I can't fix, I'll let you know :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:26, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Again, it is my pleasure. Thank you, and I await your further review. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:09, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Ok, round 2 (this should be it): Upon reading the section "The Naddists' return," I noticed that you use the events laid out in the audio drama. As with some of your other FANs/FAs you know that there is a conflict in regards to what actually happens&mdash;the audio drama, for the part pertaining the FNU, says one thing about the battle with Null and the events after it, while the FNU comics say something different. In this article you use the events from the audio drama which state that Jeth is aware of Ommin and follows the ground-borer in the tunnel to track down Ommin. However, in the comics Galia says that Jeth should seek out her father who is sick, and Jeth believes that Ommin's help is the key to defeating the dark side. I'd like to see either a) some sort of middle-ground written with regards to this event, and any others in this section that need it, or b) keep it as it is, slap the "conflicting sources" template at the top with the appropriate sources, and then slap some ref tags on the conflicting events explaining the "other side" of the coin...or, to be precise, what happened in the comic. Actually, regardless of what you decide to do, the "conflicting sources" template should really be at the top anyways. Likewise, the conflicting information should also be addressed, either way you do it, in the BtS in a few detailed paragraphs. I understand the problem because if you tweak the actual article info too much, then you run the risk of causing confusion over what Gobee's role (and resulting events) were. However, I feel that it should be made known, somehow, that there are conflicting sources out there!
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * In the "Personality and traits" section, any chance of getting a few more examples of how he was a good soldier, etc. etc?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Per above, for the "Abilities" section I think it would be best if the reader had some examples that speak to Gobee's "espionage" talents, and his abilities as a "capable leader." Likewise, I think it would be beneficial if there were some specific examples where he kicked ass using the various fighting-talents you mention, with both blaster(s) and knives. Lastly, you mention at the start that he is capable of flying the Drexl, so some examples (or just one) could be used there too. Other than these few things, good article, Tommy. Greyman ( Talk ) 13:33, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Addressed. Thanks for the read, Grey. It is both what the teacher teaches, and what the student learns. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 18:37, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No problemo. Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Seeker-torpedo launcher.jpg is very low quality. Re-scan it. --Imperialles 10:21, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Addressed. Thank you for your IRC assistance, Imperialles. If anything else is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:45, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) The audio drama is an adaptation, not an alternate and conflicting source. There really is no need for a template; a mention in the BtS is sufficient. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:04, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Removed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:35, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the Editor-in-Chief:
 * 5) *In the intro, please be more specific about the origins of the Beast Riders&mdash;how they came together from survivors of the exiles. As is, it seems you describe a group of people exiled together.
 * 6) **Added a little, and slightly changed the wording around. Should be good now.
 * 7) *The origin and nature of the Beast Riders needs to be included in the beginning of the bio.
 * 8) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 9) *Referring to the people of Iziz as "civilized" is a bit of a POV statement about them and the Beast Riders.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) *Does "Beast Warrior Commando" need to be capitalized thus? Is it established as an official title for a unit? The answer to this will help me decide what to do about the article in question, as well.
 * 12) **I believe so. It seemed to be capitalized in the comics (though everything seems capitalized in the comics), and it definitely appears as the official title for the unit in BWOO.
 * 13) *Same goes for "Royal Protector." To be fair, "Beast Rider army" follows the precedent I am trying to enforce.
 * 14) **I hear you. The Royal Protectors were specifically designated, but as for capitalization, ditto my answer above. If you feel that they should be lower cased, however, advise me and I will do so.
 * 15) *If Gobee first appeared in the comics, regardless of where he was first named, that is his first appearance. The appearance list reflects this, but the BtS states otherwise.
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * Graestan ( Talk ) 19:23, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) **Appreciate the review, Grae. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources for this guy. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:13, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Any change to get some ogg files of this guy's dialogue? --Eyrezer 21:04, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I will attempt, Eyr. It would be a good thing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:59, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Raid on the Iziz Royal Palace

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Damsel in distress.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) So that's where you've been lately...  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the physics homework Chack Jadson is not doing right now:
 * 2) * Bit too much PBP in intro
 * 3) **Really? I left out maaad details in the intro. Care to assist? —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:48, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Just "As Ulic Qel-Droma stepped forward to offer the protection of both the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order to the Queen". I feel that this could be rephrased a tad. I dislike the "stepped forward" bit.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:31, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Addressed.
 * 6) * "For 400 years" Is this an exact date? if so, link.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Your " seem to be off in the quotes (no spaces are necessary).
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "Sounds of blaster fire could be heard in the background as Novar answered the comlink from the defense towers." A bit too flowery.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * "Ulic Qel-Droma arrived at that same moment with proud stories of how the Riders he had engaged in battle met their demise, but was quickly silenced by the sight a distressed Amanoa." I don't think this is necessary.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "laughing ominously at the young, novice Jedi, awaiting their return." Same thing; I'd say this is unneeded.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * "Veitch also used as the first official mission of his new characters Ulic and Cay Qel-Droma, and Tott Doneeta". Is a word missing?
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) *Very nice Tommy. You've come a long way. I'm impressed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:08, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Iziz Royal Palace.JPG and Image:PoorAmanoa.JPG are very low quality. Re-scan 'em. --Imperialles 10:20, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Addressed the first one, working on the second one. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:45, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **The second one has also been addressed. Many thanks to JMAS, for the clean images. If still unsatisfactory, Imp, please advise, and I'll rectify. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:11, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Chack, was this supposed to be for the Raid on the Royal Palace article? If so, I've addressed each as you have stated. Thanks for the review! —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Heh, yeah. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:00, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Battle of Iziz (Beast Wars)

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ will never die!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:04, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Like I mentioned to you in #WP:TotJ the other day, that intro needs to be taken to the butcher shop and sliced-and-diced by quite a bit :P From giving it a quick glance over, everything else appears in order -- I'll give 'er a more thorough read within the coming days, Tommy :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:41, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, and if there is anything else required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) The audio drama is an adaptation, not an alternate and conflicting source. There really is no need for a template; a mention in the BtS is sufficient. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:04, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *I hate that template anyway. Removed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:47, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Dedicated to my young friend Master Ooroo, who originally undertook this endeavour with me. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Duel in the Senate (Great Sith War)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: If you were to face an ancient Sith lord in combat, you would learn that we are as children playing with toys compared to the prowess of the old Masters.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:53, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cull Tremayne 00:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think the intro is far too long in comparison to the rest of the article. It's contributes almost a third of the article's overall word count. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:07, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Honestly, I think it's quite a bit too big. I'll strike but I'd like to see others' opinions on the matter. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:50, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Per Ackbar on this one. For the length of the article, the introduction is a little bit too long and encompasses a whee bit too much detail. Having read the article recently, I have no other concerns, but I'd like to see that intro trimmed down a bit more. Thoughts, Tommy?  Greyman ( Talk ) 09:12, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed. Please advise if it is still too long. Thanks for the review as well, it is always a pleasure. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:13, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **No problemo :) Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Chack:
 * 8) * "the present Jedi Supreme Chancellor" I don't understand this. Please rephrase.
 * 9) **Addresed.
 * 10) * "such havac throughout stars that both the Jedi and the Republic were steadily confounded by defeats in battle." This leads up to such a climactic end, and then it's just "they were beat a lot". :P Seriously, it could use a wording change.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Good article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:45, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Chack. Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:54, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Header
 * 15) * "Baas' demands that Exar Kun relinquish his contemptuous actions were quickly refused by the latter, who instead tempted Master Baas with considering a dalliance with the dark side of the Force." This is just ridiculously flowery. I'm fine with artistic wording here and there, but this is just anti-encyclopedic with the way it's worded. Referring to Baas as the latter is just a bizarre word choice and comes off confusing, as well as describing Kun's actions as "contemptuous" being pretty POV. Also..."dalliance with the dark side"? Are you serious? :P Let's get away from the King Arthur-esque wording please. This whole sentence needs to be reworded. There are a couple other times in the article where I think you're going a little too far beyond just "telling what happens on the page", but not enough to object to. Cull Tremayne 14:11, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Lol, I do admit I get a little carried away sometimes. I'll fix this I have now addressed this, but please, catch me in IRC, so you and I can go over whatever else you feel is a little extreme. I have no problems working that out as well. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:45, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Reads much better that way. Nice job. I'm sure I'll see you in IRC at some point, but that was really the only major objection I had. Cull Tremayne 00:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 19) *Can the opening sentence be done so as not to have two bits in bold. It looks a little tidier. Not a biggy if you can't.
 * 20) **Eh, I'd prefer to leave it as is, if you don't mind. I'd have to do some painstaking reworking otherwise.
 * 21) *Vodo's staff. Article worthy? If so, redlink it.
 * 22) **Lol, me and my big mouth. I'll link it and creat the article sometime soon.
 * 23) *The last paragraph of the intro isn't really about the Senate duel and is explained later on. Lose it unless there's a good reason to keep it there.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) *Wikipedia links should be avoided in IU stuff where possible. The puppet link can go and cephalopod should probably be reworded anyway, unless it's a canon description of him.
 * 26) **Addressed.
 * 27) *First paragraph of "The trial of Qel-Droma" isn't sourced. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:57, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) **Oops. Addressed. Appreciate the review, GT. If anything else is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Johun Othone

 * Nominated by: DC 01:46, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bah, I couldn't stand not nominating it after finishing it.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:43, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Object


 * From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 1) Opening paragraph in the intro: Othone fought with Hoth during these wars, especially during the Ruusan campaign, in which Hoth was killed when the Sith detonated a thought bomb on Ruusan, destroying themselves, Hoth, and ninety-nine other Jedi. Bit of a jerky, run-on sentence. Also has three uses of "Hoth". Consider breaking up/ rewording to flow better.
 * 2) *Broken up and reworded.
 * 3) Nitpicky I know, but Othone and his family had worked at a farm - if Othone was taken by the Jedi at age ten, did he work on the farm, or just his family?
 * 4) *I'm pretty sure he worked on the farm.
 * 5) He used a mind trick on a female soldier named Irtanna, who was piloting a Envoy-class shuttle christened the Star-Wake down to Ruusan, to convince her that he was going along with her, just as the Ruusan native Bordon and his sons Tallo and Wend, the ship's crew. This sentence is unclear, especially the ending. I believe I know what you are trying to convey, but it needs rewriting/rewording to be clearer.
 * 6) *Cleared up.
 * 7) More context needed on the deaths of Irtanna, Bordon, Tallo, and Wend.
 * 8) *Context given.
 * 9) In the P&T Othone was also a Jedi who was more loyal to the Chancellor and the Senate than the Jedi Council, evidenced by his defiance of the Council during the construction of the Valley of the Jedi. Is this actually stated, or did Othone use the Senate for his own ends to bring about the memorial? -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:59, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *It's implied that he is more more to them rather than the council. He stays with the Chancellor for 10 years and ignores missions given to him by the council, and his defiance just reinforces his position.
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. DC 18:42, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Not a problem. Nice article. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) Chack's review:
 * 14) * "Therefore" is used in two sentences in a row in the intro.
 * 15) **Fixed.
 * 16) * I suggest mentioning that he wanted a memorial specifically to honor Hoth.
 * 17) **Done.
 * 18) * I thought Bane was on Ruusan, just not in the cave. Am I remembering wrong? I may very well be, though.
 * 19) **Nope, Bane was in the cave. That's how Darovit knew he survived and that Bane was Zannah's master.
 * 20) * You use Othone too many times in the last paragraph of Ruusan Reformation. Same in the second paragraph of Creating a memorial, and second paragraph of P&T.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) * Is there an article for Kelad’den blades? If not, please create one.
 * 23) **It's techinically a vibroblade, so I'm linking it there, and I'll add his blades there.
 * 24) * You use vandalize three times in the third paragraph of Creating a memorial.
 * 25) **Cut down.
 * 26) * Didn't his loss of skill come from 10 years as a political aide, with little time to practice his lightsaber skills? If so, this needs to go in powers.
 * 27) **Yep. Added.
 * 28) *Impressive article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:20, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **Thanks for the review. DC 15:18, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Tommytime
 * 31) *Your quote formatting needs to be cleaned up, attributions as well.
 * 32) * There were only four Jedi lightsabers on Tython. Worror never carried one.
 * 33) **Wrong on my part. Raskta Lsu fought with two. In light of that, nowever, some sort of clarification is needed at that part of the article for those who don't know that Worror didn't use one, and that Lsu used two. As it is, it is misleading. Maybe during an earlier mention of Worror you can throw in that he didn't have one, while Lsu had two? —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:19, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) *In the " Creating a memorial" section, the quote doesn't match the section title. I would suggest either changing the quote or the section title. There are quotes sufficent for what you are trying to say with the title, btw.
 * 35) * "Jedi Master", and other formal titles deserve capitalization.
 * 36) **There was only one "Master" in need of capitalization, which I fixed. "master" (small m) is used numerous times but this is correct; it should be "...described him as Zannah's master" and not "Zannah's Master." In this case it's not a formal title, and such "masters" might be Knights and not Masters (hence the "Known masters infobox field). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:21, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) *A good copy-edit would do this article justice, IMO. See if you can work that out. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:09, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Morag

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This page isn't crowded enough.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:22, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the Well Worn Path:
 * 2) * Intro: I'd suggest changing "eventually" to once, as this is your first mention of this conflict, and there's no exact date.
 * 3) **Good point. Changed.
 * 4) * Sorry, but all your refs are too small. They are literally smaller than others (like I said on another of your articles). Hope that explains it well. Please ask if you need more explanation.
 * 5) **Not sure why I did that, but it's fixed now.
 * 6) * Did she explicitly use the dark side, as you link from dark arts to that article.
 * 7) **I don't think the words "dark side of the Force" are explicitly used, but the dark arts of other Ewok magical creatures has been referenced as such, so I don't know how much of a stretch it is to link to that article. Suggestions?
 * 8) ***I'll ask around on IRC, and try to get a consensus from some other Inqs.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:20, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Cull, most people know little about the Ewok stuff (or don't know a ton, at least), so I'd have to say I suggest removing said link. If you disagree, could you give me some examples of Ewok articles that link to dark side in similar cases? If you do remove the link, you have my permission to strike this objection, and I'll then vote support when I get back on Tuesday. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:05, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Can't really think of a similar situation in our articles, but the magic of someone like Charal has been referenced as the Force. I guess I don't see any harm in removing the link, since there's no explicit connection between Morag's dark arts and the dark side of the Force. However, I think there's enough peripheral information to justify the connection. Cull Tremayne 22:26, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * "In a later plot, the forests of Endor had been subject to a long draught." I don't like the way this is worded. Please rephrase it.
 * 12) **Reworded.
 * 13) * "Special mention needs to be given to Morag's abilities with plants." This is bit too OOU.
 * 14) **Reworded. Cull Tremayne 21:04, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:51, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Crimson Jack

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This might have some awkward wording.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:12, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 09:20, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 20:19, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "A short time after releasing Solo, Jack and his crew made another high profile capture, Princess Leia Organa, who was on a mission to rescue the Rebel hero, Luke Skywalker, who had been lost in the Drexel system, found her ship caught in the tractor beam of Crimson Jack." Bit of a run-on; not sure on the best fix here.
 * 3) **Wow, now that is ugly. Reworded.
 * 4) *Otherwise clean aside from some small tweaks. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:57, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks for the review. :D Cull Tremayne 03:02, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Lost Temple

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1477 words.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:19, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) There are a lot of "uncertain fate"-type sentences, and technically, you don't need to ref IU articles that only have one appearance/source. How many Ewoks FAs would this make now?  —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:50, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:47, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Few small things:
 * 2) * No need to have all your references so tiny.
 * 3) **Could you elaborate a little? I'm not sure what you mean.
 * 4) ***Sorry. Compare the actual size of the references in this article to the ones in another article. You used the same format used for infobox refs for the whole article. Normally, the refs should be a little bigger (removed the bit). Does that help?  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:24, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Ah, I get it. Fixed. Cull Tremayne 22:57, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "However, for some unknown reason, this exit had a horizontally closing gateway, which could prevent any intruders from escaping." This seems to contradict itself. Isn't the gate there to prevent them from escaping? So the reasons are known, right?
 * 7) **Good catch. I was trying to say that the mechanism that triggered its closing was unknown, but then I obviously confused myself. :S
 * 8) * A bit of context on Terpas, please.
 * 9) **Gave a minor explanation after the initial mention. Did there need to be further context given later in the article?
 * 10) *I like it. Crazy Ewoks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:08, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **They love their kooky adventures alright. :D Thanks for the review. Cull Tremayne 04:14, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) "What triggered the closure of this exit was not entirely certain." It presumably was to the people who built it. I know people object to "is not entirely certain" so can you rephrase it to say it was uncertain to the Ewoks or something? Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:56, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Good point. I reworded it. Cull Tremayne 07:39, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Totem Master

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He masters Totems, what?

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) What a dastardly scheme!  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:35, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:38, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I think we've all learned an important lesson here today. Beware of strange, hairy, lumpy guys of indeterminate species bearing gifts.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 14:18, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:55, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Heh. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 20:05, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Elbo

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ah, the creepy uncle of Star Wars.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Huh.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:32, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:30, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 07:03, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 2) * Image:Crab King.JPG has an image improvement tag on it.
 * 3) **I'll upload another version, but it'll still be basically the same VHS quality.
 * 4) ***Boo, VHS —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:30, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * So did the Ewoks convince Elbo to give the second test, as per the intro, or did Elbo convince the Ewoks to have Latara do a second test, as "The second test" seems to say ? —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Elbo agreed to a second test, which he thought up, but the Ewoks' presence is what convinced him to give Kneesaa a second test. So...both really. Any suggestions on making it more clear? Cull Tremayne 02:41, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Changing that one word makes it clearer, at least for me. —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:26, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Overall I very enjoyable read. I'm glad I suggested it :p I wonder if you could add some further remarks in the first paragraph of the main bio about his kingdom; for instance, maybe some descriptive comments on his coral castle or the treasures and wealth he'd amassed or his numerous underlings/servants/monsters. Perhaps also explain whether his castle/kingdom was in water or if the passages etc were filled with air. It looks as though the Ewoks can breathe there. I guess I'm really after some detail that is not just describing the events unfolding. --Eyrezer 19:19, 18 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *Beefed up the first paragraph with your suggestions. Turned out to be a bit more simple than I initially thought... :P Cull Tremayne 02:59, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Nelani Dinn

 * Nominated by: IFYLOFD Talk 03:44, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This was more fun to work on than Goran Beviin, I can tell ya that.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Objections resolved per IRC discussion with IFYLOFD. DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 23:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:20, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * The intro needs a bit more detail&mdash;the location and nature of Syo's home, how the last moments of Dinn's life played out. How could Vectivus goad Dinn into killing him when he was already dead? Please be more specific.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *I don't think the one sentence of "Early life" needs to be in its own section, necessarily.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) ***That sentence is now unsourced. :| Graestan ( Talk ) 00:51, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Whoops. Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 00:56, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * The parenthetical statement in "Strange disturbances" needs to be worked into the prose instead. Parentheses read like casual asides, and are therefore unencyclopedic.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "several more of these Force ghost-related incidents" – Any details?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Her mentions in later books should be worked into a Legacy section and cited.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * The P&T prose could be retooled to read less like a book report: "Dinn was this &hellip; she was that &hellip;"
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * The commentary on the continuity issue in the BtS should go. State the facts, and that's it.
 * 17) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 19:57, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * Graestan ( Talk ) 23:16, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 20) * "The person behind the artifact" is rather vague. (intro) Please reword.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Clarify who Lumiya is. (Intro).
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "When Dinn attempting to intervene, dueled Lumiya, and after the duel concluded with no clear victor, attempted to arrest the Dark Lady." Awkward wording. Please revamp this whole sentence. (intro)
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * The word "strange" is overused. Please vary it up some.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * More detail on the Pazz incident. Also, more of this should be written from Dinn's perspective.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * Explain in the article why Solo attacked Dinn.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * "nd she killed Nelani" Which "she"?
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * P&T seems a little barebones. Milk Betrayal.
 * 35) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 03:19, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * One last thing: It'd be great if there could be a link to the Duel on the Asteroid or whatever. Thanks.
 * 37) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:09, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Currently, the last paragraph of the BtS is unsourced, and IFYLOFD is currently looking for something to source it by. If anyone could help him out with finding that source, it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers, DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Darth Sion

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 15:09, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: ZOMBIES

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) It seems like some of the KOTOR II info might need a bit more ambiguity, but still really good. Cull Tremayne 22:53, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:13, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Excellent. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:49, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent improvements in a very short time. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 17:32, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Excellent stuff - makes me wish Kotor II's cut content was removed ... -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:24, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Jinzler 21:36, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) The article itself is excellent. My only concern would be, IF, Sion does turn out to be Lucien Draay, then a whole lot of re-writting is going to need to be done. Jayce Carver 10:08, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nice work. However, I am not quite satisfied with some of the images. It seems some of the in-game screenshots have been shot at less-than-optimal graphics settings. This is true of the images Image:Sion Triumvirate.jpg, Image:Sion Korriban.jpg, and Image:Sion Atton.jpg. Try going back and re-shooting them with higher settings, or get someone like, say, Redemption to help you out. Additionally, is Image:Harbinger Bridge.png shot with the high-res movie patch installed? If not, it should ideally be re-done. Cheers. --Imperialles 10:32, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I have seen a lot of fan discussion over whether Haazen could be Sion. I'm fairly sure this has been established to be incorrect, but I wonder if it would be appropriate to add to the BTS. It could certainly be sourced. On other occasions we have included some notes about fan reception. --Eyrezer 18:02, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *After some discussion in IRC, I'm rather uncertain about this. I'm fine with fan theories for things that haven't been settled or turned out to be correct, but I'm not so sure about ones that have been shown to be wrong. - Lord Hydronium 18:53, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Sounds fair enough. --Eyrezer 04:54, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) There is some speculation that Lucien Draay is in fact Sion, as can be seen here. While this is probably wrong, as it contradicts the Great Sith War stuff, the name "Darth Sion" is mentioned in Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 34: Vindication, Part 3 by Haazen as a possible Sith name that Draay will take in the future. I think that this contention is perhaps worthy of some mention in the article --Jinzler 16:47, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *It's mentioned in the in-universe parts of the article. OOU, since it's contradicted, I'd prefer to go with the reasoning used for Haazen and leave it out. - Lord Hydronium 00:43, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments I don't think we need to worry about Draay being Sion, since it indicates in the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide that he isn't.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:37, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Matukai

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:10, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hot off the GA press.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Enjoyed this when it was at GA. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:23, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:11, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Voted for it on GAN, and goddammit, I'm voting for it on FAN.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 22:20, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Per IFYLOFD. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:42, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) If their robes were in use by KotOR, then they would've been established well before the New Sith Wars. Before the Old Sith Wars would be more appropriate, methinks. Other than that, excellent work. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:13, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I changed it to Old Sith Wars, but am slightly uneasy with it, if only because two sources on the Matukai said "New Sith Wars" as a time reference. The timing on these is sort of in question&mdash;let's just say that KotOR II kinda violated previous canon with a similar group, the Zeison Sha, which is why I'm leery of that dating. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:51, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **That makes sense and I guessed that was the case. However, Tionne et al. were likely working off limited info and there's no reason to discount KotOR in this case because of other errors in the game when there isn't really one in this case. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:11, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Right, I agree with you there. The source I was referring to was actually Hero's Guide, which has a lot of the same info as EGTTF. At any rate, I changed it to Old Sith Wars; would you mind striking the objection if you believe it's satisfied? Cheers. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:50, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Comment

Madam Rhoden

 * Nominated by: Yrfeloran 17:09, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gold-digger and GA

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:06, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 20:00, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Several redlinks I think should be killed.
 * 3) **Not a valid objection (< 3) Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I apologize. A bit of a n00b at this. :)
 * 5) * Why did the Green Forge want to shut Clode Rhoden's company down?
 * 6) **As noted in the intro, they're eco-terrorists, he's a mining magnate. Further explanation isn't really provided. Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * Provide context on Saul Moegantz. Who is he?
 * 8) **done Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 22:34, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 11) * Source or remove aquatic lifeform original research in BtS.
 * 12) **Done. I think someone else added that in the GA process Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Not a strict objection, but I'd cut the section titled "loose lips" and merge it into "Jedi complications." The quote doesn't add anything anyways. However, should you choose not to, please reword the section title&mdash;that is a strict objection. ;-)
 * 14) **Done Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *Otherwise, more or less clean. Props on making cornflakes and have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:36, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Comment

Worror

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:40, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first Jedi.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Another good job for you, Tommy. :)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 20:02, 30 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Good job, but one little thing: Worror went to battle alongside such notable Masters as Lord Valenthyne Farfalla, and in the final campaign of the war, Worror served under Lord Hoth. An bit of an awkward sentence in my opinion. I suggest you reword it.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 22:56, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed. Thank you, IFYLOFD. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 08:48, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Comment
 * No sources.
 * Miniscule BtS.
 * Single appearance. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:40, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

Garris Shrike

 * Nominated by: Havac 07:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Fascinatingly sadistic bastard. Important in an overlooked way. Perhaps most importantly, short. Havac 07:42, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:32, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 23:08, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Very nice. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:40, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Lord Hydronium 06:47, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comment
 * Has Crispin acknowledged the Oliver Twist parallels anywhere? That might make a good addition to the BtS. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:40, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
 * She's said in the interview I linked to in the BTS that it was F8GN who was intended to have the Oliver Twist parallels; Shrike really wasn't intended to line up with anyone. He came more directly out of the Twistesque background LFL gave her than out of Twist itself. Havac 18:13, 3 November 2008 (UTC)

First Duel in the Iron Citadel

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:05, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Naturally, in the spirit of Wookieeproject TOTJ.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 23:02, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comment

Fohargh

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1) As long as Acky's objection is fixed. I, too, noticed that.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Intro is quite short. Beef it a little por favor.
 * 3) **I would, given my track record for long intros, but there just isn't enough material. I'm not trying to inflate the thing ;)
 * 4) * Combo one of the bio sections with another; they're quite short.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Last sentence of Sith training needs moved. It should go after the beginning of the "First encounter" section. Regardless of how you do it, some reordering needs done in order to get the proper chronological ordering.
 * 7) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 8) ***Nope, not quite. I'd like to see Bane introduced before you start talking about his tension with Fohargh. Also, it looks like you just cut-n-pasted, which means there's an extraneous ref tag there. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:13, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I hear you. However, the story, as being told from Bane's POV, gives the opposite of what you are asking for. It's all about Bane until this small part, where Karpyshyn then mentions Fohargh. It has to be told in a delicate manner so as to avoid speculation and OR. I did change up the wording slightly, so as to sort of introduce Bane at the same point of the article. Please advise if this change is satisfactory or no. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *****I've made a minor rewording that still avoids the OR line, I think. Change it back if not, but that little fix was enough for me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:09, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Personality and traits section is quite choppy. Please make it flow better.
 * 12) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 13) ***Nope. You end in a fragment that trails off . . . Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:13, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Wow I thought I saved the page. Addressed now, my fault.
 * 15) * There should be a link on the "defensive barriers" in P&A.
 * 16) **Oops. Addressed.
 * 17) * Actually, your P&A appears to be wrong: Fohargh did defeat Bane in combat, according to the bio, but failed to protect himself afterward. Your P&T should also include mention of this vindictiveness and arrogance. Please correct.
 * 18) ** I've been trying to catch you in IRC. Please let me know when you are on, so I can discuss this further with you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC) Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:53, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:18, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) I know I raised this issue and ultimately struck it while this was on GAN, but I still have problems with the first paragraph of "Encounter with Bane." It's written as it would be in Bane's bio, and while I appreciate that the story is told from Bane's POV, you can still change it to be better. Bane seems to be the first subject mentioned in a lot of sentences, e.g. "This was not the case, and instead, Bane was soundly defeated by his saurian opponent" should read "This was no the case, and instead, Makurth soundly defeated Bane" or whatever. This persists throughout the entire bio and I'm not happy with it, though that paragraph is the most standout. "Weeks passed, and Bane had been relentlessly honing his lightsaber technique, in preparation for the day when he would face Fohargh again in the Academy's rooftop dueling ring. When that day arrived, Bane promptly entered the ring and beckoned his opponent, a challenge that was immediately met by Fohargh." Again, this is one example that should start with Fohargh and then mention Bane's preparations after Fohargh accepted the challenge. It's a bio for Fohargh, not a summary of SWDBPODANOTOR, and I think more can be done to make it read less like Bane's bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:44, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:53, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Comment
 * Short.
 * No sources.
 * Miniscule BtS.
 * Single appearance. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * That's okay, as long as he uses forms II and III, I support this guy. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Baljos Arnjak

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:40, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: They're back!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:41, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 2) * "Homeworld: probably Coruscant[1]" &mdash; ref note notwithstanding, I don't like this. I'd rather you removed it from the infobox and instead explained in the bio that he had a Coruscanti accent, etc etc.
 * 3) **Removed, accent bit moved to P&T&mdash;it's not pertinent to bio. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:30, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I would somewhat disagree but P&T works fine.
 * 5) * A bit about the purpose of the mission to Coruscant wouldn't go amiss.
 * 6) **Added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:30, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * Same with some context on the devourer tank
 * 8) **A bit more added, but it was already fairly contextified. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:30, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please give an indication of how long Arnjak was on Coruscant.
 * 10) **It's already in there. Look at the beginning of the paragraph marked "While on Coruscant." Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:30, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Iirc, Hamner et al. only went through with the invasion because of Arnjak's information. If this is the case it should be included.
 * 12) **A check of TUF confirms that is not the case. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:30, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ***CUSWE led me astray. ;) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:41, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ** -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:29, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) Chack
 * 16) *"Skywalker discovered a devourer tank, a tank filled with a purifying organism, which was the source of the cleaner air, but believed something was underneath it". Could this be reworded? It sounds a bit unwieldy.
 * 17) *However, the laboratory was deserted and still had functional power systems, so that became their new hideout; it was also isolated and defensible." Could you reword this as well? It just doesn't flow great.
 * 18) *"at least an accent that Luke Skywalker attributed to either Coruscant or those who aspired to living on that world." Huh? Can you try to fix the wording here? It's confusing.
 * 19) *Good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:26, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *Reworded all of the above. Let me know if it needs more tweaking. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:40, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Comment
 * Quite a short one. It won't take long to read. I promise. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:40, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Chancellor Squidface

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:44, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Read this if you want to see brain fluids.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) This should definitely titled Chancellor Squidface, not just Supreme Chancellor.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 21:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 22:01, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) I didn't see any pictures of brain fluids. Cull Tremayne 23:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Whoops, I'll have to add one. :) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:50, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Var'Rotha Fin'Rotha

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:44, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Thanks to Caledre and his short story for reminding me that this guy existed; former GA.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 20:33, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:25, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:17, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A bit of context on how he was scarred (in the intro) would be nice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:38, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added a little. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:52, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Mosep Binneed

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:44, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Lobar Aybock

 * Nominated by: —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:17, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Being easy, it's my first FA nom ;)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) I think the BtS could be expanded a little to mention that some factors in his life such as shockboxing and Tull Raine and his species and homeworld came from other sources initially. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:22, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I received some information from the author and tried to expand it a bit. Let me know what you think. —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:48, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Looks good. I created an "interview" subpage and copied Caledre's message on your talk page there to use as a ref note, which I think is the best way to source it. One thing you might want to do is mention that Calians and Shiva IV were references to Marvel, but other than that it looks good. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:28, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***You can move that to the WP:INT main page if it's not already there for purposes of organization and categorization. ;) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:19, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 6) *Contextify Cus in the intro.
 * 7) *If he was not a shockboxer before his capture, that should be clarified in intro.
 * 8) *The "bombing of his hometown" might need a battle link.
 * 9) *The early life section just doesn't flow well. See what you can do about making the sentences transition to each other a little better.
 * 10) *Is it "shockboxing" or "shocboxing"? I've seen both.
 * 11) *Contextify who the Rust Rats are and why they are important. It's not clear in the article what their relationship is with Aybock.
 * 12) *hub-buster should be linked.
 * 13) *I also feel P&T could be beefed a little more.
 * 14) *Fascinating BtS. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:18, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Currently 6 redlinks: these should be taken care of within a day or two. The word count is approximately 1,200. And no, there are no images that can be used; they're all from Hyperspace. —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:17, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Actually, one of the Hyperspace images was on the SW.com main page for a time, so you could probably use that. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:22, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a crop of the one used to promote the story. Also, the artist posted the illustrations on Deviant Art, but I doubt that would be considered fair use to get a better picture from there, since they're technically Hyperspace images. —Xwing328 (Talk) 19:40, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm pretty sure we have precedent for doing that with Trevas's stuff. Once it's in the wild, it's fair game. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:14, 7 November 2008 (UTC)