Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Breg


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(+5)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Returning the favor. Also, very interesting and informative read. Jorrel[[Image:Wiki-shrinkable.png|20px]]Fraajic  23:00, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Graestan ( Talk ) 12:13, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 09:12, 23 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --Eyrezer 09:42, 23 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * "While on a reconnaissance mission during the early years of the Galactic Civil War, Breg crash-landed on the planet Kalist VI, site of an Imperial labor colony, where he was imprisoned, though his Imperial captors were unaware of his Rebel affiliations." – A bit ponderous; please reword and clarify.
 * 3) **Broken up, reworded, and clarified.
 * 4) * Stating that a Rebel is "in the service of" the Alliance is a bit odd-sounding to me. Remember, these are resistance fighters, not regular military.
 * 5) **Reworded
 * 6) * "Although captured by the Empire and imprisoned in the planet's labor colony, Breg's Rebel affiliations remained safely concealed." – Reword to specify it was Breg, and not his affiliations, that were captured and imprisoned.
 * 7) **Clarified
 * 8) * "While at the labor camp he made quick friends with another prisoner slightly younger than he, the seventeen-year-old named Dak Ralter, son of political prisoners, who was born into captivity on Kalist VI." – Again, a bit unwieldy.
 * 9) **Broken up
 * 10) * "had quite an impression on the impressionable" – Yeah.
 * 11) **Yeah.
 * 12) * "badly deteriorated" – Reads a bit redundantly, per the connotations on the word "badly."
 * 13) **Reworded. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:49, 12 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:48, 12 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments