Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Resolute naval officer


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Resolute naval officer

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 00:42, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First unidentified character pour moi. Felt strange with having only two GANs.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:59, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice and clean.  Mauser  Comlink 20:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:20, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:38, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:57, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:57, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:48, 7 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Floyd's back
 * 2) * First two sentences in the intro start exactly the same way.
 * 3) **Gah. Addressed.
 * 4) * "Around 22 BBY, he was stationed aboard the cruiser" Specify which cruiser it is. It is somewhat unclear. If you changed it to "the Star Destroyer" it would be better, but do it as you see fit.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "when it was part of Jedi General Anakin Skywalker's fleet to eliminate a Confederate blockade surrounding the planet of Ryloth." The fleet to eliminate part is rather strangely worded.
 * 7) **Addressed with the above.
 * 8) * "they usually had him to lead them—and that his command of the attack would have ensured its success." This part is rather unclear; Is "him" Skywalker or the navigation officer?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * The P&T section is a mere rehash of his comments toward Tano. What does his comments mean in regards to his actual personality?
 * 11) **I don't want to assume too much because there's only so much that can be inferred before speculation starts. I've reworded slightly, but I can't say if his doubt also caused him to suggest more time and plan.
 * 12) *Good job.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Floyd.  CC7567  (talk) 02:14, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Mauser:
 * 15) * According to The Clone Wars Campaign Guide, he is a clone naval officer, this should be mentioned somewhere.
 * 16) **Ugh, I really should have checked that first. Addressed.
 * 17) *Can't find anything else in need of fixing, I'm sure it will pass soon.  Mauser  Comlink 10:06, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks for the look.  CC7567  (talk) 20:27, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) The Grand Master
 * 20) * "During the planning, the officer accidentally let slip his doubt in Tano, and remained uncertain with the chance of success of Tano's plan for employing a risky Marg Sabl maneuver." I think this could be reworded better; it's not grammatically wrong, but right now it reads rather awkwardly.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Please reword the first sentence of the bio; it seems a little abrupt. Also, I believe that, technically, he would be a naval officer in the Republic Navy, not the GAR, since the Navy and army were separate units.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "After taking account of the losses and treating the wounded..." Do you mean "taking a count"?
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * You could make it a little clearer in the bio what exactly it was that the officer doubted about Ahsoka.
 * 27) **While I've added "abilities", I realize it's redundant with the P&T, but rewording it isn't much of an option. Except for her abilities, it was never specified what he actually doubted, and any other synonyms change the meaning to speculation.  CC7567  (talk) 01:29, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***I'll take it. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:38, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 31) * Yularen should be mentioned in the intro as this officer's superior. Additionally, Yularen should be mentioned earlier in the Bio with appropriate context (including that he was injured during the initial assault); right now, you just seem to throw the admiral in randomly near the end.
 * 32) **Addressed, although I'm not sure if the way I got it in is enough.
 * 33) * The intro also needs the results of the Marg Sabl maneuver - specifically, did it work? If you want, you could even briefly mention that Tano's suggestion ultimately allowed the Republic to liberate Ryloth. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:03, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Addressed; thanks for the look, Tranner.  CC7567  (talk) 20:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments