Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Daine Jir


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Daine Jir

 * Nominated by: -- -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:12, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Daine Jir? Yeah, he's always getting into danger-ous situations.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 14:52, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I've always liked this guy.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:58, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:49, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 23:30, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:09, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From buried somewhere deep within Fiolli's moving boxes:
 * 2) *First off, great article. My objections are more for clarity and flow. I hope you don't mind. :)
 * 3) * "he became a lieutenant of the elite 501st Legion, known for its exploits at Kamino and Polis Massa and on the Death Star." Can this be clarified? I'm not certain if the Death Star should be listed as part of the exploits. If the "and" between Kamino and Polis Massa is intended to show this, then the Death Star mention should be in a separate sentence. I don't think the 501st being on the Death Star counts as an "exploit" in this case.
 * 4) **I've clarified what they did on the Death Star.
 * 5) * "The Devastator took Organa to the Death Star—where Jir's prediction proved true: she refused to betray the Alliance—and the 501st later participated in the Fourth Battle of Yavin IV." It is grammatically and structurally correct, but it is very awkward to have the clauses nested like this. Can this be simplified any?
 * 6) **I simplified it some; is is better?
 * 7) *Thank you much!
 * 8) **Thank you for the review. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:49, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ***No problem!  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 14:52, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) From the Bewildered Desk of Chack Jadson:
 * 11) * Source the infobox.
 * 12) **Bah, I forgot about that. Now done.
 * 13) * We have an article for that capture of the Tantive. I can find it for you if you'd like. Some battle of Tatooine.
 * 14) **Found it and linked.
 * 15) *Nice, although I have to say, how clever of you to avoid linking the Jir family in the intro. Just kidding.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:50, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **That was unintentional, but I'll take credit. ;-) Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:34, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Toprawa:
 * 18) * I pipelinked his family into the intro as you have it in the bio. Please kill the intro red link.
 * 19) **Done.
 * 20) * A very brief description for what happened at this battle, or maybe what the mission of this battle was, would do nicely: "and the 501st later participated in the Fourth Battle of Yavin IV."
 * 21) **Added a little.
 * 22) * The Insider 82 source should really identify a specific article
 * 23) **I'm not sure what article it is, unfortunately. I was added by Riff when the article was created. I'll try and get someone to look into it.
 * 24) ***Gonk may know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:49, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * Based on the details of his early history, it would seem there is enough there to reasonably assume sourced existence prior to the Battle of Toprawa, which would give him a Rise of the Empire era tag. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:57, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) **Done. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:24, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 28) * Links to various "exploits" of the 501st would be good.
 * 29) * The first paragraph of Attack on Tantive IV needs to be clearer; unlikely though it may be that people don't know about this, a more definitive link between Organa and the Rebellion should be established.
 * 30) * Is that quote from Vader supposed to be lower-cased for senate? You capitalize it in the prose, even when it's just "Senate", so there should be some consistency there.
 * 31) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:33, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **All sorted, I think. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:55, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments