Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Green Wing


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Green Wing

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 21:02, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Moving into position.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) This dude deserves a name. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:22, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Crynyd next! Crynyd next! Crynyd next! -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 15:08, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:54, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:41, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Imperialles 17:30, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:49, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * I'm not going to sugarcoat this, but there's a lot of fluff in this article. Most of it is marginally ok and I can look past it, but the last two or three sentences of the biography include far too much extraneous detail, which is just that: fluff. I am indeed sorry if this brings you below 1000 words, but you don't need this much detail on the battle when the subject of this article died five lines previously. I'd like to see this trimmed down into no more than 1-1.5 lines of text: "However, it would not be long until Solo's strike team managed to destroy the shield generator bunker on Endor, which enabled Calrissian and Antilles to lead Rebel fighters into the Death Star's superstructure and take out its main reactor. The battlestation exploded as the pair escaped its interior, and the remnants of the Imperial fleet—having already suffered from the loss of the Executor, which had collided with the Death Star after Arvel Crynyd piloted his damaged A-wing into the Star Dreadnought's bridge—fled the system. The Alliance, despite a high amount of casualties, ultimately triumphed." Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:27, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles:
 * 4) * Punctuate those image captions.
 * 5) **According to this, I don't have to. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:37, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * The "Personality and traits" section reads like a mini-summary of the article; there is not a single thing in there describing his personality. --Imperialles 13:30, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Not true - it shows how he was skilled enough to be Crynyd's second in command, he was able to regain control of his fighter after it had been damaged, and he sacrificed himself so that the other three pilots could succeed. Those all look like aspects of his personality and traits to me. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:37, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Then put the emphasis more on his personality, and less on the event already described two times in the article. --Imperialles 14:18, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Reworded slightly. Anything else would require me to make stuff up. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:24, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Still not addressed. Maybe you should look into cutting down the irrelevant text, as opposed to making it more verbose. --Imperialles 14:31, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ******For the record, I happen to agree with Imp's point here. For a P&T, there's not a whole lot of P or T. It reads like anecdotes from the bio with very little P&T content. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:01, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ********Objection addressed. --Imperialles 19:53, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 14) * Methinks a link to starfighter combat would be appropriate in there somewhere.
 * 15) **I would, but in the novelization, he never actually engages another fighter in combat. I don't really see how I could incorporate it in, unless you have a suggestion. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:57, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Our article discusses a wide variety of starfighters in combat, not just those pertaining to starfighter versus starfighter battle. I added a couple links. ;) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:49, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "flew in low to intercept their " Given that there's no up or down in space, please clarify this.
 * 18) **Clarified. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:57, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *That's all. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:46, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Will do. Thanks. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:57, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments


 * 1,108 words. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 21:02, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Heh, I might work on Crynyd next, Harrar. :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 17:30, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Yey! I've been patiently waiting for you or another one of the OT experts to work on Arvel Crynyd since well&hellip;forever. -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 11:40, 6 June 2009 (UTC)