Wookieepedia:WookieeCast/Transcripts

This page is designed for a read-along of ....'s Wookiee-Casts. Conveniently provided are the links to the actual MP3's, so you can listen to them while reading.

The transcripts were prepared by Jorrel Fraajic, with some (but not much) help. Unless told otherwise, they were all decipered and typed by him.

Episode I
This Force-Cast.... err, this Wookiee-Cast is brought to you by Karen Traviss.

Hello Wookieepedians.... heh heh heh heh.... are you fine? I’m fine too. Oh, that’s nice, isn’t it? Yes.... yes.... Okay, Dmitri, can you shut that thing up now? Ok, good, good....

Alright, now, eh, in the news.... in the news.... we’ve got, well, let’s see here. What, what’s interesting on Wookieepedia today? Um, okay, we’ve got the regular, um, you know, sort of pleth-awe-argh (plethora) of, ah, vandalism.... did I pronounce that right? I don’t think I did. Well, never mind, never mind. Uh, Mount Sorrow may well become an FA. Uh, but, it probably won’t happen because no one in their right mind would vote for it. Um.... we’ve had a recent discovery.... uh, Kura-Lee-Yov (Kuralyov) – that’s probably not how you pronounce that either, but, uh, who gives a stuff – uh, he’s actually a “bot.” Yeah, um, he’s a bot. We found that out, uh, after a while when we looked at his edit count and we just saw, well, you know, you have to, breathe sometimes, and you have to have a life, and it’s just not possible to have that edit count and have a life at the same time, so, uh, yeah, he’s a bot, people, so we should really hide him from the recent changes, because he clogs it up a lot of the time, but, uh, you know, uh... what can you do? What can you do? I mean, he’s an admin... uh, you can’t block him, although, you really should, um, but you know, NPOV, NPOV, all that kind of crap, yeah.

Recently discovered, an interview between Michael Parkinson and, uh, just let me look through my papers here, uhh... um... Dave Manak. Yeah, Dave Manak created Mount Sorrow, which featured in Marvel Ewoks 7. Now, this is usually derided as the crappiest piece of canon since, well, after Waru. Ah, no, Waru came after... that’s remarkable. A lot of people know about Waru, uh, not a lot of people know about Mount Sorrow. So, uh, here’s the interview. Enjoy!

Parkinson: Now, uh, now Mr. Manak, uh, you created, uh, Mount Sorrow. Uh, what went through your mind when you were, uh... uh (muttering).

Manak: Well, to be honest Michael, uh, I don’t remember creating Mount Sorrow at all. I mean, I just, I’m browsing through you know, whatever and I see this crying mountain, and I’m thinking, God! Did I create that? Did I create – I was smoking pot at the time...

Parkinson: Yes, yeah of course.

Manak: Understandably, and uh, you know, I can’t really remember doing that, so I must apologize. But we, we did, I do recall we did have a big spinoff series planned for Mount Sorrow where, uh, he would actually go on all these adventures, just by being adhered to the ground. And, he would meet all these, uh, figures throughout the galaxy, and, you know, he would solve their problems. He was like an agony on. But LucasFilm scrapped the idea, and, instead they went with Dark Empire.

Parkinson: Uh, well, do you think that uh, uh, the uh, uh, Mount Sorrow... (muttering).

Manak: I think it would have been than Dark Empire. I mean, it doesn’t screw around with... Well, hard to say.

Yeah people... Dave Manak... Dave Manak... we don’t like Dave Manak here, at the, uh, Wookiee-Cast. He, um, has ruined our lives, uh, inadvertadly, with his canon. This is almost enough to make you, um, go Stradley-ist. You know, Stradley-ist: “Cannon go boom! Ha ha ha ha.” Yeah.

In other news, uh, LucasArts - and, uh, by default LucasFilms, StarWars.com, all of that crap - have announced “The Force Unleashed”, a next-gen game, uh, with all this new technical stuff, like, uh, Euphoria, and, uh, Digital Molecular Matter. Now, if what they say is true, gone is the era of the Red Key. That’s right, you will simply be able to slice through the wall. Now, I don’t get this. How do you have “bosses” with this? You can just slice them once, and their head will topple off their shoulders. Uh, where’s the difficulty? I mean – oh, well, I suppose they could do the same thing to you - but, uh, you can pick up health packs and stuff like that. I’m not sure how this is going to work. This is really quite troubling. Uh, and apparently, Hayden Blackman does not want to reveal the name of the main character. Uh, Jedi Council forum member “Trip”, or “Triple zero”, has, uh, speculated that this character may well be Drake Lo'gaan, from the Evasive Action webstrip series. Uh, if they do do that, uh, Sony and LucasArts can just have direct access to my bank account. That, that’s it. I’ll, just, do whatever to get this game and a next-gen console. Uh, also, with The Force Unleashed, let’s, let’s think about the acronym for that, for them. FU. Heh heh, yeah, FU. That’s very good. But, that reminds me of the “House of Cards” trilogy on the BBC many years ago, where the main character was Francis Urquhart, and, he uh, would often be called “F-U.” Very funny, but, you know, has very little to do with what I’m talking about at the moment. So I’ll just, uh, shut up now.

What else have we got in the news here? We have got, uh, the Inquisitorius. Uh, it’s an FA panel, and, uh we review articles – I’m a member of it, you know, I be “TheFourDotElipsis” – it was founded by A-tar-oo-master-eighty-eight (Atarumaster88), um, and, the idea is we will review articles and, you know, uh, make them good. That’s basically what our job description. Uh, but we don’t do much at the moment, because we are comprised of lazy-ass members. That’s right. So, if you want us to do something, uh, you’re going to have to wait, because, no one, apart from me, uh, Haa-vahc (Havac), and, a few others are doing anything. So, um, just bear with us! That’s right.

Um, also, the Mofference is coming up this Friday slash Saturday, depending where you are in the world, uh, which, uh, basically is CT on laxatives, um, you know - not Cull Tremayne, no, no, Consensus Track. Um, and we basically just get everything sorted out. So, just, come there and we will discuss things, and we will, uh, just get things done. That’s basically the premise of the Mofference and hopefully it will all go smoothly.

Uh, another topic: Sourcing. We are now sourcing our articles. That’s right, you’ve got to reference everything you do. If you don’t, your article will not become an FA - in fact, it will be derided and mocked and scorned. So, do some inline citations. If you don’t know how to do this, uh, I recommend you go to the Ji-na So-lo (Jaina Solo) article, or the Panakacake, uh, Panaka, Panaka article. Or even Ar-mon-d I-sod (Armand Isard).

Uh, t-t-t-t-t-to... Indiana Jones 4, Ind-i-ana Jones 4. Apparently Sean Connery will be playing Harrison Ford’s son, in this movie. Look forward to that, May, uh, next year.

And, uh, otherwise, nothing much. Picture of Yoda from the 3D Clone Wars series, but you can go to the “Force-Cast” for that stuff, because, quite frankly, we’re not interested in the news, we are interested in wasting your time, as I’m sure you’ve figured out, from this, uh, pod-cast, whatever the hell this thing is. I’m not even sure you can play .OGG vorbis on your iPod. Um, so, too bad. Too bad, just listen to it in your browser or on Audacity. Uh, yeah, it’s not convenient, but, you know, stuff you. And in the words of, um, let’s see now, uh, let’s just say Sate Pestage, uh, “Get lost!”

I hate all of you.