Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Hylo Visz


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Hylo Visz

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:27, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A rare non TCW nom from me.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * I think the article is very impressive. I would support it. // fodigg BlackRebelStarbird.png 14:25, 20 May 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 19:28, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:31, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:37, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:02, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Its stuff like this that gives me hope for TOR. -  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:34, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Would it be possible to create a citation template similar to one of these for TOR? Since it's available on the web, it would then be possible to directly check the source and the same is already done for all the other official Star Wars websites.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  15:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *At the moment, I'm still unsure as to how we are treating these timelines, whether as reference material or as regular sources, like a novel or tv show. In addition, there's currently only two timelines, so an individual template seems unnecessary at this time. Once we decide how to treat these and more are released, this idea can be revisited. I have a feeling they'll be taken offline eventually as well, just like the Chronicles of the Old Republic. Plus, I haven't a clue how to make them. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:49, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fair enough.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  13:14, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Blacklist:
 * 5) * "As underprovided and under protected Republic worlds on the Outer Rim began to fall to the Sith, starvation ravaged the lower levels of the Republic's capital world of Coruscant." First of all this needs to be reworded, because "underprovided" isn't a word according to dictionary.com.
 * 6) **I separated under and provided.
 * 7) * Secondly, I believe the "lower levels of the Republic's capital world of Coruscant" is provided for. Please link accordingly.
 * 8) **Linked.
 * 9) * The character needs to be referred to by her surname; you call her "Hylo" way too much throughout the article.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "Visz and many other smugglers in small vessels and starfighters emerged from hyperspace and engaged the Mandalorian cruisers in a large space battle." Is there no link for this "large space battle"?
 * 12) **I was under the belief that the battle would be included in the blockade article, as it was the conclusion of that event, not two separate events.
 * 13) ***That's fine.
 * 14) *That's all. Not bad overall. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 13:52, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. :) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 18:22, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 17) * The rumor of her death should be mentioned in the intro.
 * 18) **Mentioned.
 * 19) * "She apparently retreated from her fame, and in the year following her departure, she supposedly double-crossed the Hutts, a move that resulted in her death." - her death was only a rumor; this should be made clear here.
 * 20) **Changed supposedly to rumoredly.
 * 21) ***That wasn't the issue: she supposedly double-crossed the Hutts, allegedly resulting in her death. You need to make it absolutely clear that she may have or may have not died as a result of doubling-crossing the Hutts, which she may have done. It's confusing, yes, but I'm confident that you'll find a good way to word it. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****K I think I got it. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:28, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:31, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:03, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks for the review. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 18:50, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I do feel that there is some redundant summary of events in the various sections. It might improve the article to consolidate or parse down the summary. // fodigg BlackRebelStarbird.png 14:25, 20 May 2009 (UTC)