Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles. A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;not be tagged due to an excessive number of redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.

How to vote:

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once an article has a total of five votes, at least two of which are from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members, after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:18, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Drewton and I have worked on this article for a while, and I believe it's ready to be considered a good article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:22, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

(0 ACs/3 Users/2 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) Thats all I can see that other people haven't objected to. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:48, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) It's looking good! 04:18, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  IFYLOFD  ( Come with me if you want to live. ) 01:08, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) From the pages of NaruHina's Death Note
 * 2) *It seems OK but:
 * 3) * The him being in the Old Republic Era in the Infobox is not sourced
 * 4) * The language base in the Bts is unsourced
 * 5) **"While such a name might seem incongruous with Darth Malak's role as Sith Lord, he could be seen as a fallen angel due to his Jedi beginnings." I think this should be sourced as another opinion may be that he sees himelf as a divine messenger or something. There are many ways that "angel" and "messenger to God" can go.
 * 6) **Actually got rid of that, it just states what the actual name means in Hebrew and Arabic, have sources.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:35, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * There is a Fact tag in the Bts.
 * 8) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:15, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * One last thing, the succession box is not sourced. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:07, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Took care of it, sourced now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:03, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:20, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) Quotes in prose, speculation rampant in BtS, bullets in BtS, tiny paragraphs. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:19, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) There's quotes in the middle of sections, that's against MoS, the double and triple refs aren't needed, some sections are just way too short, mainly article prose problems. It would also be good idea to copyedit the article, there are numerous grammatical errors. Watch for POV in the article, the intro, P&T, and P&A have loads of it in their respective sections. Also, the BtS, needs to be rid of speculation, bullets , then expanded with stuff that can be sourced, IE: interviews, actions figures, etc. DC 01:30, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) It's IFYLOFD!:
 * 15) * More info on the "devices" in the intro.
 * 16) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:36, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Is there an article on Darth Revan's flagship? If so, add a link to it in the intro.
 * 18) **Fixed, also linked in the body. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:53, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * "The Sith Lord corrupted Shan, who he had once considered a threat, and made her his apprentice, replacing the slain Darth Bandon, whom Revan had killed." Reword and/or split up this sentence.
 * 20) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:34, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Context needed on Deesra Luur Jada and Lucien Draay.
 * 22) **Done. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 14:09, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * More info on the "discovery" made by Adasca.
 * 24) *Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * Context for Krynda Draay and Xamar.
 * 26) *I think it's fixed, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:22, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Unsourced statements in BtS.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:50, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *Fixed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) Cylka:
 * 30) * The infobox needs to be sourced correctly. Also any additional text in or out of parenthesis needs to either sourced separately or written before the ref notes, whichever the case may be.
 * 31) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * The Star Forge wasn't just a superweapon, but also a space-based factory or spacestation. I think it would be worth mentioning that.
 * 33) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Was Malak helping Zayne in trying to apprehend Gryph? I thought that he was looking for Zayne at the behest of Lucien Draay and found him after Gryph got away. I could be wrong, but please check this out.
 * 35) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Give a little more info on how Zayne ended up on the Legacy. You mention that Zayne started a diversion, but no one knows how or why he got there.
 * 37) * Please give a little more context to how Zayne ended up on Jebble and they had to rescue him again. Just a sentence will do. Something like In light of certain events on Taris, Zayne traveled to Jebble where he was once again in need of assistance.
 * 38) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * Please remove any quotes in the prose. From what I understand quotes or partial quotes can only be found in Bts, while quote templates only at the beginning of sections.
 * 40) *Those quotes in the BTS section are somewhat necessary, I feel, since they are from James Ohlen and John Jackson Miller, respectively. The quote from Ohlen is from Malak's databank entry, while the partial quote from Miller is from the letters section of Knights of the Old Republic #29. We can't just ignore those quotes.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:31, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * Make sure that "master" is capitalized when referring to them by name or Jedi Master. I changed some of them, but I'm not sure I got them all.
 * 42) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:04, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * It was not long before rumors began to spread that Malak's apprentice, who would be known as Darth Bandon, would challenge him for the right to rule, as was the manner of the Sith. The result of this revolt, however, is unknown. Other Sith only wondered about this. Bandon didn't form a revolt. He was killed before he could - according to the databank. This needs to be changed.
 * 44) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * Malak was a pale-skinned human who stood an impressive two meters in height. What is the ref, for his height. Cylka  -talk- 01:19, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * There seem to be some linking issues throughout the article. As I understand it, in articles each linkable subject should have one link each in the intro, main body, image caption, and infobox.
 * 48) **I've taken care of the excessive linking.
 * 49) *Its looking good, but still needs a little work. Cylka  -talk- 23:40, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * There are some POV and speculation issues throughout the article. As soon as everyone's objections have been satisfied, I'll sign off on the article as well. Cylka  -talk- 16:41, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) The sources in the "Sources" section are not listed in the order of their release --Jinzler 22:53, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:57, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Took care of the quotes in the middle of sections, took out the bullets in BTS, him being part of the OR era is already sourced, will work on sourcing the language bases.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:53, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I think someone should take notice of the hideous amount of Point of View violations in the "Legacy" section. -MPK 18:25, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Except that what's in that section reflects character's opinions of Malak, such as G0-T0, Canderous Ordo, and Mical.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:41, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Then you need to include that it was their reflections. As it stands, it's POV, but with some tweaking, it could be fixed without changing the meaning of the sentences. DC 16:08, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Tweaked it a bit, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:05, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Mission to Monastery

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 15:41, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And now, some older stuff...

(3 ACs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 14:59, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Watch out for colloquial language, though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:04, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:38, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) My objections were unstricken for that long? Dang, I need to be more on-the-ball.  IFYLOFD  ( Come with me if you want to live. ) 01:05, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) It's time for: Going Old School With IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Articles should be linked to once in the intro and once again when they appear first in the main body.
 * 3) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * In the intro: Baron Tagge? Provide context. Is it Domina Tagge?
 * 5) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * In the Background section: "After learning the identity of the pilot who destroyed the Death Star". Say who it is. You leave it unclear.
 * 7) **Rephrased. QuiGonJinn (Talk) 20:49, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * In the main body: Provide context on Vader,Domina Tagge, Luke Skywalker, Jan Dodonna, Han Solo, and Leia.
 * 9) **I think it's done. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * In Mission: Provide context on Wermis, and Baron Tagge.
 * 11) **Context added. There is really nothing more to say about Wermis. He is just a captain... QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Why was Tagge their long-time enemy?
 * 13) **Explained. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 10:42, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * In Skirmish in Crystal Valley: Which Tagge does he kills? Baron or Domina?
 * 15) **Cleared that up. Also added a little more context. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Needs a Behind the scenes section.
 * 17) **Added. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:42, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 20) * Vader forced Domina Tagge, a member of the Order of the Sacred Circle located on Monastery, into cooperating with him, promising power and prestige, as well as revenge on Skywalker, for Domina believed her brother, Orman, was killed by him, but he was in fact saved by Vader and has been since kept in hibernation. - This sentence is too long and reads jerkily. Consider breaking it up.
 * 21) **Splitted into two sentences.
 * 22) * Watch the usage of first names; refer to Luke as Skywalker, etc. I've changed a few, but you should check over the entire article.
 * 23) **Only Orman and Domina are refered by the first names, since they both share the same surname and using it may lead to a confusion. All others are refered by the last name.
 * 24) ***Orman and Domina are fine, but I did change a lot of Luke, Leia, and Hans to Skywalker, Organa, and Solos.
 * 25) * The start of the second paragraph in the Mission section reads awkwardly - you say they were captured, but don't tell us who. Also, you later say that Leia avoided capture, but the previous statement about the capture implies that they were all captured at the same time.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) * Clarification is needed - why was Orman Tagge in a hibernation cell?
 * 28) **Clarified. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 21:47, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Okay, Vader put him in the cell but why? What does a hibernation cell do? Don't assume that the reader knows everything - I'm very fuzzy on the entire Marvel era. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:15, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Added more context. I hope it's OK now. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:33, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * Skirmish in the Crystal Valley section - explain the nature of the valley before the sequence of events that is to take place.
 * 32) **Explained.
 * 33) * Same section - As Vader was approaching the ceremonial Crystal Valley to fight Skywalker, he noticed the Falcon, aboard which Organa and Solo were at last able to free themselves, but distracted by the pursuing TIE fighters to notice that Orman escaped and ran into the valley. This is unclear and badly worded. Please rewrite and break up to better describe the situation.
 * 34) **Reworded.
 * 35) * It should be mentioned that Vader intended to use Tagge as a test for Skywalker before it's revelation to Luke. Remember, this is an omnipresent article, told from a neutral point of view.
 * 36) **Mentioned. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 15:10, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * Check for extra sources - is the encounter mentioned in any other source material, e.g. Star Wars Encyclopedia, the The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, etc. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:03, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **No mention in the Essential Chronology, Star Wars Encyclopedia, the Essential and the New Essential Guides to characters, Essential Guide to Planets and Moons (the last one doesn't even have an article about Monastery). I don't have the Complete Encyclopedia though. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 20:29, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ***I'll check it for you, QuiGon.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:44, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ****I'll strike this one either when Chack reports back, or when you fixed my last outstanding objection (whichever comes first) as I will trust that the information will be included if found. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:15, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *****It's given a brief mention. I added it to the "Sources" section for you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:56, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) Toprawa:
 * 43) * Please go through the infobox and remove any unnecessary spacing between information and reference tags and kill any duplicate linking. Items should be linked once throughout the infobox and no more. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:35, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:52, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * Should have included this in that objection, too, my bad. It's not necessary to include individuals in the "Strength" field who also appear in the "Commanders" field. That's just redundant. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:54, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) **Addressed as well. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 18:10, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) Cylka:
 * 48) * I believe that Vader didn't as much force Domina to cooperate with him, as much as he tricked and somewhat brainwashed her. She wanted vengeance on Skywalker, so she went along with it. The introduction and prelude should be reworded a bit to illustrate this.
 * 49) **Addressed, I guess. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:51, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Maybe you should mention that Dodonna sent Organa et al. secretly so that she could monitor Skywalker and help him if need be, since only one representative from each side was allowed to go to Monastery. I would also include that Artoo and Threepio each went with their respective group. It gives a bit more context to the laserwave link that was set up.
 * 51) **Both mentioned.
 * 52) * However, Organa had brought Domina's brother and former baron of the House of Tagge, Orman Tagge with her, whom Vader used to test Luke's mastery of the Force. - This sentence gives the impression that Organa brought Orman to Vader. Maybe it should be changed a bit.
 * 53) **Reworded it a bit.
 * 54) * Since this whole mission was a way to test Skywalker's limits, it might be worthwhile to mention that Skywalker believed that Vader had learned enough about him that he wouldn't need to be cautious anymore about attacking him or the Rebels.
 * 55) **I'm not quite sure about this. It is not stated what Skywalker believed in the comic. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:51, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) ***I believe that Skywalker talks about this in the second to last panel of Star Wars 37: In Mortal Combat, as the Millennium Falcon is leaving Monastery. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 15:03, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ****How could I miss that? Thanks for pointing out. Integrated in the article. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:39, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * Please double check the linked articles. An article should be linked to the first time it is introduced. I found some links, but I'm not sure I got them all. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 09:49, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **I've killed two more redundant links. I guess that's all of them. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 13:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Darth Nihilus

 * Nominated by:  NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:25, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Thanks to Cylka for the inspiration and information. Lets make this the first Restored GA!

(2 ACs/6 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:21, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:54, 4 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 05:22, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 07:00, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) A good romp with the FAN would do this some real justice, methinks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:15, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:43, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kilson likes PIE Nice job, very well done. 16:50, 06 February, 2009 (UTC)

Object style="color: #000000;">Talk  08:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) The BtS is a bit all over the place. Please subsection it as appropriate and break it into proper paragraphs; it looks a bit triviaish at the moment. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:23, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I think I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:13, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka:
 * 4) * The Trayus Academy kept on producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders, who spread death and the following of the dark side like a disease. What does "the following of the dark side" mean? Please clarify.
 * 5) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * As it neared the Miraluka colonized world Katarr, Nihilus spoke, obliterating Katarr How did him speaking obliterate Katarr? Please clarify. Maybe you could add in something to the effect that the Miraluka could hear him through the Force and that his "voice" in the Force was his hunger, therefore hearing him = death.
 * 7) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * [...]the Dark Lord seemed too strong to defeat, then the Exile learned of his weakness and turned the tide. Visas also entered into a trance and tried to disrupt the link with her former Master, undermining his connection to the Force. This makes it sound like they both were in a trance, although I'm pretty sure only Visas was in a trance. Please reword.
 * 9) **And rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose, all seeking to take what little remained of Revan's Sith Empire. However, Nihilus and Sion were now the leaders of the Sith. These statements appear to contradict each other. I know what you mean, but others may not. Reword to say that they became the leaders because they got rid of Traya.
 * 11) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Give an actual date for the conclave and destruction of Katarr. I actually found a definitive source for the date; I changed all the articles to reflect this. You can find it there. * Cylka *  11:21, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Good job with adding a lot of info to the article. * Cylka *  02:40, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * it killed all but a few of those who were crushed on the planet's surface. This does not make sense. It sounds as if it killed almost everyone, and then the survivors were crushed.
 * 18) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Using the Force, he was able to keep his robes, armor and mask together, giving him some form, allowing him to use his Force powers and wield a lightsaber, but apart from that he had no longer a physical form and he became simple primitive intention. Break this sentence up.
 * 20) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * I would suggest integrating the third paragraph of 'Encounter with Visas Marr' with the second. This is so you can say that the conclave was the original reason why Nihilus had come to the planet. You should probably add the intentional info leak by Atris and that it was meant to be a trap for him. I'll take a look at the rest in a few hours. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:11, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **Merged NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * The 'Downfall' section is out of chronology. Please put it into the correct order of events.
 * 24) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Sorry about not getting this stuff last night (I had a blackout while writing), but the second and third paragraphs are still not in order. For example, the disturbance in the Force, Visas' joining the Exile, and the end of the Onderon Civil War all occurred after the destruction of the mining facility. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:01, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *** I'm not seeing where it is out of chronology. Could you please quote where you see it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:47, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ****Nevermind, reading at 3:30AM does things to the mind. I think I fixed it.
 * 28) * The hunger he possessed was a means of severing connections between life, the Force, and feeding upon the death it caused the closer he came to it. Reword. Also, what was he coming closer to? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **No clue there. Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:31, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Chack Attack:
 * 31) * "Under the tutelage of Darth Traya he became one of the three Dark Lords of the Sith at the time, the Sith Triumvirate, under the title of the Lord of Hunger, the others being Traya and Darth Sion." This is phrased a bit poorly.
 * 32) **Rephrased? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * "An emptiness swept over his body and it soon began hungering. Without meaning to, he drained the life of someone; it was an unpleasant experience, but for a brief moment the hunger ceased, only to come back more relentless than before." This should also be rephrased.
 * 34) **I'm not sure of how I could rephrase it and people in the IRC think its fine. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:29, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Right, don't worry about it then.
 * 36) * "his voice a great hunger heard" Can you hear hunger? :P Seriosuly, I know what you're trying to say, but it could written better here.
 * 37) **Got it NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:42, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "The situation on Onderon got out of hand" Too colloquial.
 * 39) **A two birds with one stone fix. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:43, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "learned of his weakness" What was his weakness?
 * 41) **Got it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *Very good job. I'd suggest taking this to FA when it passes GA (only if you feel you're ready, of course).  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) Please rework the beginning a little bit. We shouldn't be saying things like "all that is known of Nihilus' beginning" because this is out-of-universe. You could alter that to reflect the knowledge of the characters in-universe. You should also contextify/link the Exile upon her first mention in the bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:31, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *I already linked/contextified her in the Downfall section. "The Jedi Exile[link] returned to Republic space after being banished from the Jedi Order for following Revan to the Mandalorian Wars. She had begun to reestablish her connection to the Force which was severed during the Battle of Malachor V."
 * 45) **But that occurs after "when the Exile gave the order to activate the Mass Shadow Generator," which is her first mention. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:11, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *Did I fix the lead-in right? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) Toprawa:
 * 49) * Sourcing needs some serious clean up before I'm going to let this thing pass, and I really have no qualms about expressing my dissatisfaction with the level of review by our AC members here. Please eliminate the unnecessary redundant sourcing in the biography. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:43, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) **I disagree with you on the sourcing; but for the sake of the nom, I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***I'm not sure what there is to disagree about it. An article is either sourced correctly, or it isn't, and this one wasn't. Fortunately, you have corrected this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:22, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) Pasta Bowl; part the first&hellip;
 * 53) * More aesthetic than anything else, but there is no image of Nihilus from TSL in the article. None. Surely a screen shot can be taken. One of Nihilus and Marr together would be extremely beneficial to readers since their paths are so intertwined.
 * 54) **I will work on getting another but the image at the end of the Biography is from TSL. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ***A shot of Visas before Nihilus has been added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) *Be careful with the flow in the Introduction. It is choppy with a lot of short finite sentences. I tried to clean it up, but it needs some work in the prose to make it smooth and fluid.
 * 57) **Done? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***I see what you did. Okay, a few things.
 * 59) **** "After losing everything&hellip; after surviving&hellip;" Both 'afters' make it awkward.
 * 60) *****Never mind. I fixed this one myself. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ****"he turned to the dark side&hellip;" Was he a Jedi? Otherwise, turning would imply that.
 * 62) *****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:36, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ****"The apprentices became more and more powerful." This seems just dropped in. There is nothing before that states an apprenticeship aside from "tutelage." The triumvirate, however, implies equality rather than a Master-Apprentice relationship. Additionally, it is so disconnected from the discussion of Nihilus and Traya that no real link can be formed. This connection and the associated wording needs to be reworked and rewritten. It needs to be as clear as possible for the reader to know when he was an apprentice, when he was an equal, and when he overpowered his former master.
 * 64) *****This is only partially cleaned up. "&hellip;encase his spirit within his mask and armor. The apprentices grew in strength during their training; eventually overpowering and exiled their Master, severing her ties to the Force." Note the disjunction between the sentences. It is also disjunctive at the semicolon, which is also improperly used, here. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) ****Similarly, the sentences about his "hunger" and experiences with the mass shadow generator should be mentioned with the Malachor remarks.
 * 66) *****Addressed. NaruHina  <span
 * 1) ******Okay, so this one was moved, but the connectivity was breached. "&hellip;the affliction began to ravage his body. He then came under the apprenticeship&hellip;" Awkward transition, please rectify. Perhaps mention him being "found" might help. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *******I think I smoothed it out. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) * I split the first paragraph of the biography. Make certain the reference at the split point is still correct.
 * 4) **They are still correct. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *The second paragraph of the biography merely states that he was trained by Traya, but after it is stated that he was "christened" as a Sith Lord. Firstly, was he ever apprenticed by Traya? The Intro and infobox states that he was in a Master-Apprentice relationship, but this paragraph does not. Secondly, was he instantaneously found and then "christened" as a Sith Lord? There is a strong disconnect along the time line. Please clarify this paragraph and expand.
 * 6) **Addressed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Better, but a couple of things:
 * 8) **** "He followed her there, to her school on Malachor, and learned the ways of the Sith." Isn't he already on Malachor, or is that not known?
 * 9) *****I fixed this one, too. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****"Time passed and he was eventually a newly christened&hellip;" the eventually...newly part that throws me off. Also, "christened" is an awkward word for being given a title; can that be reworked while we are at it? Or, is that a canon word that I am not remembering?
 * 11) *****Much better here; although, instances of "christened" still exist in the article. Additionally, I do not believe the phrase "Nihilus was named a Sith Lord during this conflict&hellip;" comes from information within TSL. Is there someplace else, or am I missing something? I could be incorrect. Please double check for me. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I'm not seeing any, though it is early in the morning, but christened is a canon word for it. Its in the KotOR CG. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **** "Nihilus and Sion each honed different teachings of the dark side of the Force&hellip;" Different teachings or aspects/skills/etc.? Just checking.
 * 14) *****Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "His power grew beyond what Traya could match and he allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge her, defeating the woman." Where? When? Expand. It is a significant character-development point in TSL.
 * 16) **Expanded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *** Quickie: "Nihilus allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge Traya, defeating the woman at the center of her own Academy in the very heart of Malachor V itself." What was the challenge? How did he defeat her?
 * 18) ****Addressed and as to the second part, thats in there, Sion beat her to a bloody pulp and they sapped her Force energy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *****Official objection struck, but I kind of would like to see this done up a little more if you have time. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *"With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose&hellip;" Wait&hellip; where did these beings come from? Although not stated, it is implied earlier in the article that the Triumvirate was alone. Clarify.
 * 21) **Clarified. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Sorry, but I do not believe it is. The paragraph prior to this might be a place to mention that the Sith Empire had fallen and various factions and followers existed. It is your choice, but all of a sudden a three-being group is now a broken and tattered empire as it reads now.
 * 23) ****Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *****Better, but there are two things another thing with this:
 * 25) ******"Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith, those who followed Traya but now wanted her power for themselves, and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." The last half of this&mdash;from "those," onward&mdash;makes little sense. First off, the sentence needs to be broken up, it is a long run-on. Next, who are "those?" Are they Nihilus and Sion? Are they other Sith minions who did Traya's bidding? Clarify. In fact, please rework this entire sentence. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *******Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ******Break up the paragraph at "With Traya gone&hellip;" &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." Did they work together directly, or indirectly? Their goals in eliminating the Jedi Order seem to have been different.
 * 30) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Better.
 * 32) * The subheading "Dark Lord of the Sith" seems out of place considering that his "christening" as such is mentioned paragraphs before and already expanded upon. Change divisions or the subheading title.
 * 33) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:20, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Much, much better.
 * 35) *"With Traya overthrown, Nihilus had moved into a position of power. The Trayus Academy continued producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders." Disjunctive. What is the relationship between Nihilus and the Academy? If nothing, the first sentence is an unnecessary redundancy, and the next couple need to be reworked into Nihilus's scheme to show a connection.
 * 36) **Contextified that he attended the academy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:56, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) ***Okay, but that does not help in this instance. That is too far away to be the explanation. It is a good setup for an explanation, however. Did Nihilus or Sion officially take over the Academy? How was it run? What happened? Otherwise, this is irrelevant information for this location in the article.
 * 38) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *****Better. Again, however, please double check the source. I do not believe all that information is in TSL. In fact, this one I am pretty certain of. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ******Fixed for this one. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * In conjunction with the above: "They spread death throughout the galaxy like a disease&hellip;" Is it described "like a disease" in TSL or the CG? If not, remove it; it borders on OR and is not NPoV.
 * 42) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Continuing the conjunction: "What they experienced first hand in his wake allowed them to become stronger near Force-sensitives, and feel their prey through the Force." This does not make sense. Reword, please.
 * 44) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *** "&hellip;allowed them to become stronger near other Force-sensitives&hellip;" Contextualize or expand "stronger."
 * 46) *** "&hellip;and feel their targets through the Force across great distances." I think I understand what is being explained, but it is too cumbersome as it stands right now. I am not sure why, but I am having a difficult time with this clause.
 * 47) ****Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:56, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "His flagship, the Ravager, roamed the borders of known space." Okay. And? This sentence, aside from beginning a paragraph with a pronoun, has no relation to the paragraph it is heading. Connect and remove the pronoun or eliminate altogether. The Ravager should probably be mentioned and sourced when he pulls ships from Malachor V.
 * 49) **Removed an fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:09, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * "Atris, a Jedi Master, organized a large gathering of Jedi on the Miraluka colony world Katarr. After organizing the event, she then leaked the location." I reworded it to flow better, but it needs to be stated why she leaked the event.
 * 51) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "It overpowered them and obliterated the surface of Katarr&hellip;" What is "it?" His voice? His hunger?
 * 53) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * "Nihilus killed much of what remained of the Jedi Order&hellip;" So basically, no one was left? Make sure that the amount implied is actually stated in the sources.
 * 55) **I fixed it by putting the context of it at the beginning of that paragraph. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:29, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) ***I will let it pass. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * "&hellip;including the renowned Jedi Zhar Lestin, Dorak and Vandar Tokare." "Renowned" is not a word I would use here. It is PoV-laden and should be tempered. Also, any other figures present that should be noted?
 * 58) **Fixed and no, there's not, its almost like the Golden Globes, and aside from that, I thought three would be a good number as to not disrupt the flow. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) ***Sorry, I don't follow. What does the Golden Globes have to do with the Conclave gathering? I don't follow.
 * 60) ****Its just a joke. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) *****Oh, sorry. As people say these days: "My bad." :) &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "As he walked on the surface, Darth Nihilus found only a single living thing, an injured woman named Visas Marr." The wording of this implies that she happened to survive; although a couple sentences later states outright that she had been spared. Clarify this.
 * 63) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) *** In TSL, she remarks that she was spared. This should be addressed here.
 * 65) ****Fixed to say he didn't spare her but she survived and wanted to know why. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) *****Great fix. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * Throughout the article, Visas Marr is referred to simply as "Visas." This is not a proper encyclopedic naming convention unless there are two with the same last name. I know she is referred to as Visas in TSL, but they are on a first name basis, just like talking to "Canderous," or "Atton," or anyone else. Please change these appearances.
 * 68) **I fixed all that I could find. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:19, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) ***I went through and fixed them. The BtS was riddled with them.
 * 70) * "&hellip;and carved out the flesh where her eyes would be had she been human." Well, she is not Human. This analogy seems a bit of a stretch. Please find another way to describe it using a Miraluka-based description rather than that of another species.
 * 71) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:30, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) * "She eventually became his trusted sole apprentice; she even developed a powerful Force bond with her Master." Choppy, please reword, expand, and make more fluid.
 * 73) **Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:32, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * Before I forget, the date in the infobox does not come from TSL, as no year is mentioned in the game. Please find a source. There are a few to chose from.
 * 75) **The NEC came through for once. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:28, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) *So far, I've read up to "Downfall," but I think I will stop there for now. Good luck.
 * 77) **I will resume after this part has been finished. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 06:35, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ***Still more to do in this part. A good copyedit might help, as well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 18:56, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm horrible with BtS reviewing, so I won't do that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. 03:59, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Bek-Vulkar War

 * Nominated by: Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:08, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Been sitting on this one a looooooooooong time. Working out the kinks before the FAN page.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:51, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:48, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 00:32, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Cylka:
 * 2) * In the introduction, I would add in that the Endar Spire was destroyed in orbit over Taris, that is why Revan and Carth were trapped there. I would also mention that Bastila had been on the ship as well.
 * 3) **Added.
 * 4) * It was Thek who suggested to Revan that he needed to win the Season Opener to free Bastila and gave him the means to win. I think it would be good to explain their bargain a bit more when it is first alluded to in the Revan's involvement sub-section.
 * 5) **This necessitated a decent amount of restructuring, however it was for the better. Thanks for pointing this out.
 * 6) * Maybe you should include why Zaerdra objected to Mission helping Revan, just to give a little context.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * A bit more context is needed on the blockade that Revan et al. needed to esacape. Maybe a mention that the Sith not only quarantined the planet, but put in place an orbital blockade as well.
 * 9) **Contextualized.
 * 10) *A good read about an overlooked subject. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:47, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you very much.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 05:16, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) The Life Note
 * 13) * The picture of Brejik is from his time as a Bek, please replace it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:41, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu
 * 15) * The Jedi Shan? Could we just use Shan? Jedi Shan sounds a bit... off. No-one says the Jedi Windu or the Jedi Kenobi.
 * 16) **Fixed. Yeah, that does sound a bit peaky.
 * 17) * This scuffle resulted in the death of Brejik and an end to the war. Do we know for a fact that the death of Brejik ended the war? Same goes for that last sentence in 'The Season Opener'.
 * 18) **Elaborated in both instances; the gang is essentially beheaded, and the Beks gain a lot of support due to their sponsorship of the winning rider.
 * 19) * I don't really see the relevance of the first paragraph in 'Origins' beyond the first sentence. It basically covers the Taris Resistance and invasion of Taris, but that's not really related to the subject of the Bek-Vulkar War.
 * 20) **Both paragraphs have been reworked to, hopefully, give a bit more relevance.
 * 21) * The amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who had been reprogrammed by the Council. Reprogrammed? I know what you mean, but it sounds too droid-like.
 * 22) **Changed to "memory modified."
 * 23) * A also think the first paragraph in 'Revan's involvement' could be trimmed down a little. You really only need to give an outline of why he was on Taris and how he found the Beks, not a full blown biography.
 * 24) **The only "biography" of Revan is this: "The amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who had had his memory modified by the Council of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine, was aboard the vessel as part of the overall plan set by the Jedi Order to find and destroy the Star Forge, the source of materiel for the Sith war effort." Other than that, I've trimmed as much as possible&mdash;which wasn't much&mdash;from that paragraph.
 * 25) * I would consider Revan to be a key Bek figure, so it would be nice you could give gim an entry there.
 * 26) **Not sure I could agree, but nevertheless, one has been added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:42, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ***He did take out a large number of Vulkars, steal the prototype accelerator and win the opener, effectively winning the war for the Beks, which is why I consider him a key figure. 00:32, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *That seems to be everything, I'm sure the people over at FA will pick up on anything we missed. 05:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Toprawa:
 * 30) * I find both of the "Key figures" sections to be really unnecessary weight to this article. They're just pointless biographical summaries that offer little to the primary concentration of the article: the war. Please cut these out and incorporate any vital information into more relevants sections. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:11, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **The key figures section is very necesary because it outlines who the leaders of the group are. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Aside from the fact that I'm not turning this into a post-mortem Goodwood debate where he directs this argument vicariously from behind the scenes, and in sole response to Cylka, per IRC, there is already a "Combatants" section. Please combine these two and cut out the unnecessary bulk. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:27, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Done. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:38, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm not really going to object to this, but I think that most of the quotes should be changed. They should be by the person in qustion and about the person in question if possible. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:41, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure I understand this. Why should the quote be by the individual in question? I was under the impression that if the quote was about the individual in question, that was acceptable as well. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:24, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Because any quote that uses the person's name is techincally about them and its a bit of a stylistic choice, but generally the best quotes characters about the character are said by the character. Tchnically you could use "I love you Revan" as his quote but you wouldn't because he says much better stuff himself. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:03, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * There's nothing in the MoS/LG/etc. and no real precedent for preferring one over another&mdash;just go with whatever quote is the most illustrative. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:11, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * In light of recent events, I will be taking over the task of handling any objections to this nomination. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 06:03, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Darth Maleval

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  (Talk) 07:21, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Second Quarren Sith :)

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 00:33, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 16:29, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 22:12, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * The intro looks like it could be merged into one paragraph.
 * 3) **Merged :).  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Second paragraph of the Bio section reads like it's written from Trask's POV. Please fix.
 * 5) **How's that? :)  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Hearing of this, Lord Maleval had learned that Lieutenant Cassel had a brother in the 908th and approached him about his decision." This is a tad confusing; in what order did Baleval learn of the proposal and of Cassel's brother?
 * 7) **Woops that is confusing. Fixed.  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * A lot of the Bio section seems more focused on Joker Squad, and not Maleval himself.
 * 9) **How's this? I tried to reword it to focus more on Maleval without losing context of the events that happened.  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Much better, thank you.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *TIMMMMBERRRR!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 08:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Before he could execute Karr, however, Maleval was shot from behind by Anson Trask. The fact that he was not executed would mean that he was alive, but later on, you say his death was covered up: The death of Darth Maleval was covered up in Joker Squad's report to their superiors, stating that Darth Maleval had been killed in battle, and that Hondo Karr was vaporized in a blast that took out fellow Joker Squad trooper Gistang. He can't have survived and had his death covered up at the same time, can he?  07:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Woops, I removed that when addressing Goodwood's objections. Fixed. :-)  Grunny  (Talk) 09:53, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Uncle Murda:
 * 15) * For your mentions of Roan Fel, you call him the Emperor. Yet, you also speak of Darth Krayt's Sith Empire. This leads me to wonder who is the current Emperor? Please clarify, using several words to depict how Fel was still regarded as the Emperor if Krayt held the Empire.
 * 16) **Is this enough?  Grunny  (Talk) 15:20, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *This is fun. You make me want to start a TOTJ-style Legacy run. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:08, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Haha well join up :-). Cheers Tommy :).  Grunny  (Talk) 15:20, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Cylka:
 * 20) * [...] which led trooper Hondo Karr into a thoughtless attack on Maleval. - In the intro, I'm not sure "thoughtless" works that well here. In a way it implies that he didn't have a reason for attacking Maleval. Maybe a different word or a slight rewrite would work better.
 * 21) **Changed.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Dark Lord of the Sith is mentioned in the intro, but not in the main body of the article.
 * 23) **Done.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * You mentioned that the Joker Squad debated options after the encounter between Maleval and Karr, but you didn't give the outcome of their debate. Obviously, they stayed, but it might be worth elaborating a bit on their conclusions.
 * 25) **Elaborated :).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *A good read, Grunny. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 20:15, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Cheers Cylka :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 29) *"Anti-Sith Insurgency" needs context in the intro.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) *The Battle of Borosk needs to be explained a bit more in the intro, laying out its reasons, etc. This plays into my first objection. Basically, just explain it all a bit more chronologically and you're good.
 * 32) **How's that? I addressed the above two objections together. I had to reword a little so hopefully its ok now. :)  Grunny  (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *Was it the 407th or just Joker Squad that carried out the coverup?
 * 34) **Well since the only witnesses who survived were Joker Squad members I assumed it would be in their report. Since it isn't explicitly stated in the comic I changed it to reflect the comic's information.  Grunny  (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) *Again, in the bio the background for the events Maleval was involved in is key. Please be more explicit.
 * 36) **How's it looking now? Thanks for reviewing, Graestan, let me know if it needs further improvement :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 13:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:58, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 39) *"By 137 ABY, when units such as the 908th Stormtrooper Division defected Emperor-in-exile Roan Fel during the Anti-Sith Insurgency." - needs to be made into a complete sentence and clarified.
 * 40) **Done.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *"To ensure their loyalty, Darth Maleval was given command of the 407th Stormtrooper Division..." - as-is, it reads like Maleval was sent to insure the 908th's loyalty.
 * 42) **How's that?  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *"...which led trooper Hondo Karr, from Joker Squad of the 407th, into attacking Maleval." - needs to be reworded.
 * 44) **How's it looking now? :) Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *"Before Maleval could execute Karr, he was shot from behind by another trooper, Anson Trask, ending the Sith Lord's life." - I'd drop "ending the Sith Lord's life" and clarify that Maleval was shot and killed, because it's not really evident on who was shot.
 * 46) **Addressed.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *"Joker Squad covered up the event in the report to their superiors, stating that both Darth Maleval and Hondo Karr had been killed in battle." - why did they need to cover for Karr? What happened to him? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:27, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) **Addressed. Thanks, Tranner :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:22, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Switch

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 23:20, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 8t88 was the only droid information broker

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Anyone else want to review this? 04:51, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:52, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice job.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:10, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 01:37, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Subsection the Biography.  23:31, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done --Jinzler 22:36, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka:
 * 4) * I believe that Switch was also considered a budding crime lord. That may be interesting to add in.
 * 5) **I added some stuff on this to the intro and P & T --Jinzler 20:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * I think that it would give a bit more clarity if you explained that the spacers also assisted Maya in escaping from Imperials, rather than just finding out about the cargo from her.
 * 7) **Added --Jinzler 20:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Did the group really fight the Gamorrean guards? I could be wrong, but I thought that they didn't have to. Maybe it would be better to say that they had some sort of an encounter with them.
 * 9) **I re-read the source and apparantly they don't have to, as it is possible for the guards not to notice them. I have moved the information regarding Switch's reaction to this to the BTS section, as something that can possibly happen --Jinzler 20:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * It might be worth mentioning that Switch is described as not having a memory wipe in a long time. It could give a little more background as to his "atypical" droid behavior.
 * 11) **Added --Jinzler 20:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Switch is also described as having refined tastes as was evidenced by his extensive collection of beverages. This could add a bit more insight into his personality.
 * 13) **Added to P & T --Jinzler 20:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *A pretty interesting character you picked, I have to say. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:07, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Is there any picture of him that you could post as the main image Kilson 6:12, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **No, there isn't. The picture of his storage bay that is in the article is the only image in existance that is remotely relevant to him --Jinzler 19:33, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * There are only two quotes because they are the only two relevant to the article that exist --Jinzler 23:20, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * My nomination comment was meant to say 8t88 WASN'T the only droid information broker --Jinzler 22:36, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Duel in the Chancellor's Office

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: RGAN #2

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:57, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11:51, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  —Tommy  [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 09:28, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Too many images. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:52, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yep. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:38, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin are not linked in the Prelude, they linked later instead. An article needs to be linked when it first appears in the main body. I've only noticed those three, but check the other links, I could've missed some.  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:54, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Aftermath section? DC 03:40, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *How in the world did I forget that? Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:27, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Could you start the article with: The Duel in the Chancellor's office was a lightsaber duel fought in the Chancellor's Suite in 19 BBY. The duel began when...? Otherwise you're missing time and event.  04:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:30, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) "A few rounds with Wookieepedia's resident Battlemaster:"
 * 11) *A tricky business, this writing of duel articles is. That being said,
 * 12) * I think the infamous   tag is in order here, since the novel and movie differ considerably with regards to how the contest transpired.
 * 13) **Agreed, sadly. Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * Rectify the over/underlinking found throughout.
 * 15) * "All but Windu quickly fell to the Dark Lord of the Sith and the two fought a spectacular duel. Windu cornered Darth Sidious, kicking away his lightsaber, and held the blade to his neck as Skywalker arrived in the room." Spectacular? Seems a little POVish to me.
 * 16) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Skywalker told Windu not to kill him as it was not the Jedi way and that the courts should decide his fate. Windu knew he would hold sway in the courts and would never be convicted." Which him are you referring to here? Sounds like Skywalker is telling Mace not to kill Skywalker.
 * 18) **Addressed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "The electric currents flowing through Sidious disfigured his skin, making it almost reptilian in nature." I recall Palpatine specifically referring to his face as a mask, and that his true form had been revealed. This implies that if his face was "reptilian in nature," it was like that before the duel, and that the fight just exposed the truth.
 * 20) **Do you have a source for that? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *** Sure. In the novelization, Sidious says this: "And so the mask becomes the man[&hellip;]I shall miss the face of Palpatine, I think; but for our purpose, the face of Sidious will serve. Yes, it will serve." According to Sidious himself, he was wearing a "Palpatine" mask to cover his true face, which we see after the duel.
 * 22) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:10, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * I would remove the bit at the end of the intro about Palpatine initiating Order 66. The actual confrontation ends with Anakin becoming Vader.
 * 24) **Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:54, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***You removed too much. See the last part of the original objection. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ****Well, the actual duel ended when one of the combatants was killed. Anakin becoming Vader happened in the duels aftermath. Since the intro is a summary of the duel itself, should his be included? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *****Though it appears in the aftermath, it is a key aspect of the event, whereas the Order 66/death to Jedi bit was going a bit too far. If you look here, you'll notice that the events in the aftermath are briefed in the intro as well, even though that contest had already ended. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ******Readded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:31, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * I would also remove some parts of the intro, because some of them lean rather close to play-by-play action.
 * 30) **I'm not sure how to cut it down further while still completely summarizing the article.
 * 31) ***I concede. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * Anakin is the only Skywalker here, and he should be addressed as such, same deal with Master Windu.
 * 33) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:02, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * "This lightsaber duel was a focal point of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith as it explains how Darth Vader, an antagonist from the original trilogy, joined the Sith, and why Palpatine's face became deformed." I thought that Palpatine's deformities were the result of years of being physically ravaged by the dark side, and that his "masque" simply melted away.
 * 35) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:23, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *Manage these, and more may follow. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:27, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) Riposte:
 * 38) * "Windu cornered Darth Sidious, Palpatine's true name, as Skywalker arrived in the room." Palpatine was his true name; Sidious was his true identity.
 * 39) * The way the first paragraph of the intro is laid out leaves room for guessing how the combatants fought each other. Especially when you say Palpatine "unleashed himself in a violent fury."
 * 40) **Nice fix. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:55, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * After you make the reader aware that Palpatine is is truly Sidious, you should refer to him thenceforth as such.
 * 42) * "Windu raised his blade to strike and Skywalker panicked, cutting off Windu's sword arm with his lightsaber." Cutting off one's sword arm with a lightsaber has a specific designation. You do it in the body but not the intro.
 * 43) * "This confrontation was a key element of Palpatine's plot to destroy the Jedi Order, in which he manipulated Anakin Skywalker to do his bidding." Huh? Sorry but this is not a satisfactory beginning to an article of any sort. The firsty few sentences of the prelude need to be reworked. Also, when you speak of Skywalker's wife, though the mention is brief, her name should be used in conjunction.
 * 44) **Is this OK? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***Yes. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The first paragraph of "The duel" needs to be moved and added to the last paragragh of the "prelude" section.
 * 47) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "&hellip;effortlessly stabbed him in the stomach." Like the cutting off of one's weapon arm with a lightsaber, stabbing staight through has a designation.
 * 49) * I believe "the duel" section is a tad pbp.
 * 50) **Isn't it supposed to be? It is an article about a fight so I can't just say they attempt to arrest him, duel, die, etc. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:44, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***Trust me, I am feel the same as you do, having been in this very same position. Duel articles skirt on the fine line between pbp and sufficient detail, and it is our job to find a comfortable balance. I personally prefer more detail, but the general mood of the site is that we do all we can to avoid pbp as much as possible. See if there are some minor things you can trim, that you deem unnecessary. If you truly cannot, I'll give it a once-over, and strike. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 01:18, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) ****I've cut some though I higly doubt its enough. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:44, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) *****Very good with recognizing what I was saying, but I agree with you. With your permission, I can trim down in some areas a tad bit more than already done. Please advise if this is acceptable to you, or, we can meet in IRC sometime and iron out the rest together. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) ******Go ahead, I don't mind as long as it doesn't go below 250 words. :P NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:02, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) *******Heh, of course not. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 00:36, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * "The bolts flowed through Sidious, injuring him and deforming his face hideously." Reword since we've established that the lightning revealed the deformities instead of causing them.
 * 57) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:44, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * "His face contorted with the enormity of his decision, Windu raised his blade to deliver the killing blow, and Skywalker made his fateful decision." The contorting face bit is unnecessary, as is the fateful decision part. Make it less dramatic, please, as it comes across like the writer's own POV.
 * 59) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***A little better, I'll take it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 19:17, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * That should be about it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:05, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "Palpatine claimed the Jedi were in rebellion, while Windu declared the ultimate defeat of the Sith." The GJP was hardly a Jedi rebellion.
 * 63) **It actually links to a sub-section of the GJP page detailing Palpy's ruse and the "rebellion." NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:00, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ***I understand it now, though I do not really care for it. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 00:36, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * "A brief instant after Windu's death, Skywalker realized that he had been tricked more than once. Not only did Palpatine fake his weakness, but he also cautiously admitted that cheating death was a power only his master achieved, thus admitting he did not actually know the secret to stopping death. Inwardly, Skywalker was shocked and enraged by the deception." Can you source this statement specifically? I didn't get that impression from the movie, and I'm having a time finding it the novel. If so, cool, but if not, that kinda borders OR, imho. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 21:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) **I didn't write that and I 'm not sure so I'll remove it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:00, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Cool beans.
 * 68) The twoconflicting is unnecessary; one if G-canon, one is not. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:00, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) *For the sake of avoiding conflict, I have no problem with it being removed. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 19:17, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) **Alright, removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:27, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) From the Ataru-wielding desk of Atarumaster88
 * 72) * Should the title of a legend be in quotation marks or something? It's certainly a proper noun.
 * 73) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * The prelude is far too sketchy about Anakin's initial confrontation with Palps.
 * 75) **Is this better? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) *"This is also the first and only time all four colors of lightsaber blades shown in the movies have been in the same scene together (red, blue, green and violet). " This is not self-sourcing. EDIT: Neither is the entire paragraph in which it appears.
 * 77) **It gives the names of every relevant source in the prose, Episodes III and VI as well as all 6 Star Wars movies in general. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ***Yes, but that doesn't make it self-sourcing. The movies never say that the duel was a focal point. I'd prefer to see some more specific references there to avoid any appearances of original research. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:34, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ****Reworded so it omits the ORish statement. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:46, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) *"Mace brought the B team to arrest Palpatine" This is not a question. Please get the correct quote.
 * 81) **I don't know the quote or have that source so if you know it please fix it, if you don't I'll just remove it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) * "The activation of the Jedi Masters' lightsabers was digitally confirmed by Imperial agents in the audio recording presented in the novelization." The paragraph that contains this sentence is out of place.
 * 83) ** Tommy fixed this. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:08, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) ***Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:08, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * So is the rest of the paragraph following this sentence: "However, the screenplay stated it was Windu&hellip;"
 * 86) *<s.The first paragraph of "Difference between sources" is not self-sourcing, as it doesn't specifically refer to the movie by name. If you're going for the self-sourcing approach, please be a little more specific.
 * 87) **That was sourced manually. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:28, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * You are missing Databank sources.
 * 89) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:28, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * Furthermore, I think, Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force is a source. Might be just, but still.
 * 91) **Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 15:24, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) *Furthermore, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:52, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just to clairify, everything that does not have a ref tag in the Bts is self-sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:29, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I shall say once again and for the final time, let no man, woman, or child ever be subjected to this article again.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:20, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good. 12:54, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) It was fun to play it in the games, and now it's fun to read it. Kilson 6:04, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) I'm a bit worried about the sourcing in this article. For example the last paragraph in the "Operation: Nightfall" section is almost all sourced to the Courtship of Princess Leia, which is obviously not right. Everything needs to be sourced to the source it came from. The Jerec stuff has nothing to do with Operation: Nightfall, that didn't happen until he returned from the Unknown Regions some time later. Bene and Whie are mentioned in the penultimate paragraph in the said section and it's all sourced to the RotS game, but according to their articles neither of them appear in the game, so that needs to be checked out. "grandfather's (Anakin Skywalker)" reads awkwardly. I'd try "the actions of Anakin Skywalker, his grandfather" or somesuch. In the "Jedi Casualties," why are the Jedi listed by their rank in the GAR and not their Jedi rank? They didn't die in their capacity as commanders so it's not relevant, and the legitimacy of those ranks at that time has certainly to be in question. Nothing from Ahakista Gambit? Source list needs to be ordered by release date. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:35, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've fixed Bene and Whie, (Anakin Skywalker), and Jerec. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:32, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've also fixed the source list and the rank issues. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Fixed the sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:22, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:07, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *I'm not sure the sentence about "some Jedi turning to the dark side" should stay, unless it definitely refers to during O:N and not just during the purge in general. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Gah, this thing keeps changing... Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) According to Jedi Twilight, Jax Pavan and Even Piell were present during the attack, but survived by fleeing the temple. You should mention this --Jinzler 21:16, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:40, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Cylka:
 * 11) * [...] the newly anointed Darth Vader and the clone troopers of the 501st Legion stormed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, initiating a massacre under the authority of Order 66. and The men of the 501st protected the Jedi library while the Jedi tried to destroy the knowledge contained there to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. - These two sentences appear to contridict each other. Were the 501st helping Vader or the Jedi?
 * 12) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:42, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * After the fighting, Vader set up a beacon that alerted Jedi all over the galaxy, the ones that had not already fallen to the clones in their ranks, that the Clone Wars were over and ordered them back to the temple, not knowing that it was a trap. - The not knowing that it was a trap part is a bit awkward. Please rewrite in such a way as to clearly show that it was a trap for the Jedi and not Vader.
 * 14) *Rewritten NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:53, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * As the Legion landed at the Temple, and as they marched, they were completely silent. - A little more context is needed here. Why was it relevant that the Legion was silent?
 * 16) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:05, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *There seem to be some linking issues. I've found that many links are missing. I've gone through and linked as much as I could, but I may have missed some, so please double check them.
 * 18) * Vader disabled the shield system and killed the Jedi; proceeding into one of the surrounding halls. - This is a bit confusing. What or who was proceeding into one of the surrounding halls?
 * 19) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:08, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Though Shaak Ti managed to secure a small number of her charges passage through the Undercity. - Is there something more that you wanted to add to this statement? If not, then it needs to be reworded.
 * 21) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:05, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Cleaning up most of the remaining Temple Security guards and Jedi Knights. - This sentence is somewhat arbitrary in relation to the previous statements. It needs to be connected to them in some way.
 * 23) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:53, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * As the Temple burned, Bail Organa landed on the landing platform of one of the Council Tower hangars to investigate the fire. - Some context is needed when Organa is first introduced. Specifically who he was and why he would be landing at the Temple.
 * 25) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:34, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *A bit of context is needed for Order 66 when it is first introduced.
 * 27) **Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:03, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *Context is needed in regards to Padmé Amidala and why she would be traveling to Mustafar to confront Anakin.
 * 29) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:23, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * It is possible he was seen by a clone trooper. - What evidence/reasons are given for the possibility of Jacen being seen by a clone when he flow-walked?
 * 31) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:53, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Please take care of these objections and I'll look over the article once more. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 06:35, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) I don't think Fox can be counted as a commander of the battle. He is only a sergeant. He did order his men to stop firing on Bail, but it's not like he was in command of the entire battle. Kilson 11:40, 07 February 09 (UTC)
 * 34) *Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:53, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) You should add info from Dark Nest II: The Unseen Queen, which reveals that R2-D2 downloaded a recording of the battle, which was later watched by Luke Skywalker --Jinzler 21:18, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) *Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:54, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Darth Kruhl

 * Nominated by: —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:04, 30 January 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Here's another one.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 03:35, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23:29, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) DC 22:18, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:13, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunndawg :P
 * 2) * For clarity, explicitly state that he was a member of the One Sith in intro.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "However, Kruhl's offer was rejected by Rikkar-du, and the Codru-Ji clan leader urged his people to unite against the Sith Empire." Why did Rikar-du decline the offer?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Source "Force lightning and telekinesis, another set of abilities shared among members of Darth Krayt's One Sith." to instances other members of the One Sith using Force lightning and telekinesis.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Do the same for "coral-like hilts carried by most of his One Sith brethren,".
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * Mention that Fel did not summon his Knights to his defense as he believed as a Knight himself he was a match for Kruhl.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *Another nice one Tommy :).  Grunny  (Talk) 06:53, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Grunny. Please advise if more is required. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 13:13, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) shot Kruhl in the stomach, and killed him. 'And' would imply that killing him was separate action. If so, please elaborate on how he died. If the shot was fatal, then I would suggest changing it to shot Kruhl in the stomach, killing him.  22:39, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Addressed. Thanks for the review, Soresu. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 12:43, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) DC
 * 17) * "The two men fiercely dueled each other" Fiercely is POV.
 * 18) **Addressed.
 * 19) * "He had only exchanged several blows with Fel when the Emperor drew his holdout blaster, shot Kruhl in the stomach."- Only and several contradict each other, rewrite the sentence please.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) * Mention that Kruhl was only a decoy by Maladi to lower Fel's defense, that's a big part of the issue.
 * 22) **Heh, I know exactly why you pointed this out. Good stuff, and check it out to see if you are satisfied. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 17:36, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * "Kruhl's first appearance was in Star Wars Legacy 13: Ready to Die, written by John Ostrander and Jan Duursema. This was Kruhl's first and only appearance." Combine these two sentences, they're short and choppy.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) *Have fun :) DC 03:53, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) **I did. I taught you how to ;) —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 17:36, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) AdmirableAckbar:
 * 28) * This isn't a hard and fast objection, but the intro is a bit too big for my liking, for such a short article, which should really only get two paragraph intros, imho.
 * 29) **I removed that bit about him dying for Krayt (which I deemed not really necessary), and combined the 1st & 2nd paragraphs. Please advise if this is still insufficient. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:45, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Looks much better. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * "Kruhl displayed unusual loyalty to Darth Krayt, and had no reservations about dying for him" -- I wouldn't really say that's unusual, at least when compared to the rest of the One Sith.
 * 32) **Addressed per above.
 * 33) * "Rikkar-Du" or "Rikkar-du"? The former appears in the opening quote, the latter everywhere else. (Unrelated note to self: we need a conjectural capitalization template for such comic characters).
 * 34) **Mistake, addressed.
 * 35) * The first image (which I've downsized a fair bit - 350px is way too big) looks a bit odd to me the way it's positioned in the middle of the paragraph. Not a hard and fast objection, but I'd rather it at the start of one of the paragraphs.
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) *You refer to the Dauntless as "his" Star Destroyer. If that's so, I think it should be mentioned earlier in the article, since he would've come to the planet in it, etc.
 * 38) **How's that?
 * 39) ***Good, but I think it would be prudent to mention the Star Destroyer earlier on, that he got to Munto Codru on it and that it stayed there while he was there, etc.
 * 40) ****Should be good now.
 * 41) *It says Fel was the deposed Emperor, but then later calls him "Emperor Fel." While he's certainly the Emperor in some sense, "Emperor-in-exile" or somesuch would be a more accurate term.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) ***There's still several instances of "Emperor" referring to Fel.
 * 44) ****Should be good now. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 23:41, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * The fact that Kruhl was just a decoy should be mentioned when he's given the mission.
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) * I'm not a big fan of the use of "mohawk" in the P&T. It should be "Mohawk" capital M, and since it's named for a people that do not exist in the SWU, I'd rather it wasn't used where at all possible. I'd consider it the same as "Pyhrric victory." I'd suggest just describing his hairstyle, though if anyone has any counterpoints I'd be more than happy to hear them.
 * 48) **How's that?
 * 49) * There's a bit here with Jan Duursema saying the character was only created to die that could go in the BtS, to help flesh it out. You could also mention the CSWE in the BtS. You should also contexify Chee in the BtS.
 * 50) **Please advise if the Duursema/Chee parts are sufficient. Please also clarify what you mean when you mention the CSWE in the BtS . —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:45, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) **I have been advised that nothing new about Darth Kruhl appears in CSWE. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 00:47, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) ***I still think a mention of CSWE in the BtS would be good, to help flesh it out. Just say he received an entry in CSWE, and who the authors are, when it came out and the like, if you want. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ****Addressed. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 23:41, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) **-- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:08, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) The only objection I have is in the introduction where it is written however, Fel had been expecting Kruhl - Since it is written in the comic and later on in the article that Fel had been expecting an assassin in general, I feel that this should be reflected in the intro as well. Otherwise, another interesting Sith, Tommy. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:20, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) *Addressed. Thank you for the review, Cylka. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 23:42, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

HK-47

 * Nominated by: 23:49, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Everyone's favorite assassin droid!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  22:43, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Object DC 02:14, 5 February 2009 (UTC) Comments
 * 1) DC's Preliminaries
 * 2) * Ref'ing in intro is a big no-no.
 * 3) * POVity and OR everywhere.
 * 4) *Have fun. DC 23:55, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Oops, can't believe I missed the intro refs. Anyway, I've taken care of those now, but could you point out some specific instances of POV and OR? I tried to get rid of most of them, but I tend to have a hard time picking them out, thanks! 00:40, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Try to stay away from extremely, and things like that. A lot of your POV/OR is like that, trying to explain just how bloodthirsty he was, but you are exaggerating it too much. Also, in the P&T, make sure you say it was HK-47's POV or another character's POV, or it violates the rule. DC 00:50, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Oh, one more thing, no linking in quotes. DC 00:51, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **I think I've cleaned up most of the POV/OR issues and addressed your other objections.
 * 9) *** Meh, there still is some POV, though you did a great job of removing most of it. Here's the last of them:
 * 10) ****Avoid massive and devastating in the intro.
 * 11) ****Several odd quirks in P&T, avoid the word odd, and rewrite the sentence.
 * 12) **Done.
 * 13) ***You're gonna have lots of fun with the full review comes, this was just the preliminary stuff :P
 * 14) **Well, I knew cleaning up after the anons wasn't going to be easy. Have at it! :D
 * 1) Nayayen says Nay
 * 2) * I'm fairly sure there could be more links. As a rule of thumb I go by: a link is repeated in the infobox, intro, image captions and the main article.
 * 3) **I added a few more links and I think the amount is sufficient now.
 * 4) ***I've added in a few more on top of those that you put in. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  22:43, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * As DC mentioned, POV is oozing from this article.
 * 6) **It all looks clean to me now. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  19:43, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * The Back with Revan sub-section could do with some expansion.
 * 8) **Expanded.
 * 9) * In the Jedi Exile sub-section there is mention of the HK Factory. This should be removed as it is cut content, it is in the Bts already so half your work is already done.
 * 10) **Cheers Mauser, I wasn't aware of that. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  14:02, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * Any quote for the Jedi Exile section?
 * 12) **Done!
 * 13) **Suggestion: Address these objections meatbag and I will support. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  18:34, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Cylka:
 * 15) *Some more context is needed for Revan when he is first introduced. This needs to include context for Malachor V, the final battle there and the Mandalorian Wars, in addition to his betrayal of the Order.
 * 16) *More information is needed about HK's time with Revan. HK has a lot of dialog with the Exile concerning his "early years."
 * 17) *More explanation is needed about the droid factory found on Telos.
 * 18) *A bit more is needed explaining HK's first mission to Mandalorian space and the capture of Revan, and Revan's subsequent memory wipe by the Jedi Council.
 * 19) *In the section from master to master, the paragraphs are a bit too short. Try to link them together a bit more.
 * 20) *There is quite a bit of detail missing from HK's reunion with Revan and the mission at the Sand People enclave. This needs to be expanded.
 * 21) *Again, the section involving HK's travels with the Jedi Exile are bare bones. There is much more information to be added, especially concerning HK's dealings with G0-T0 and his final showdown on Malachor V.
 * 22) *The paragraphs in the Mustafar section are a bit too short, and they could probably be condensed a bit more.
 * 23) *The P&T still has some POV issues. I believe that it would be best to describe him from the point of view of the companions, using their opinions of his personality. Furthermore, I think that any information regarding his protocol functions and the techniques he used to kill Jedi should go in the abilities section.
 * 24) **Fixed the Ability part. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:46, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) *The abilities section could use a bit more detail esp concerning his techniques in fighting Jedi. There seems to be a bit of information missing from KotOR II missing.
 * 26) *In the Bts, there is information missing from KotOR II again. It would be worthwhile to explain a bit of the companion influence system, since it is only with a high influence that a player will be able to learn about HK's time with Revan and the techniques to kill Jedi. The Bts definitely needs some more expansion.
 * 27) *HK's voice actor needs to have a reference.
 * 28) ** Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:46, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) *I think the Bts is sub-sectioned a bit too much, especially since those sub-sections themselves are only a paragraph each. I believe that the only sub-section of the Bts that is needed is the cut-content.
 * 30) *There needs to be a bit more context in the cut content in regards to Nihilus and his attack on Telos.
 * 31) *There are some linking issues with some things double and triple linked, and other articles not linked at all. The article needs to be checked for this.
 * 32) *A screenshot of HK from his travels with the Exile would add a lot I think, since he does look much different and is actually quite upset by his exterior appearance.
 * 33) *Overall, the article is in good shape when it comes to information from KotOR I and Galaxies, but there is a lot of information missing from KotOR II that needs to be added in. It's well on its way, though. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:56, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

A note to Nayayen: please remember that HK factory was canonize by the NEGTD and KOTORCG. Mauser 13:27, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

T'Teknulp

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  (Talk) 03:36, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Got it over 250 words :-)

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 04:46, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) DC 03:25, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Too many uses of 'division' in the intro than I'd like.  09:50, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *How does it look now? :-)  Grunny  (Talk) 04:49, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) DC
 * 4) * Did Kenobi or Skywalker have any reaction to his death?
 * 5) **Added.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:07, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "T'Teknulp was known to have a strangely jovial and high squeaky voice and always sounded happy no matter the circumstances." Many problems here; it's a run-on, and unless you explain that it was someone's view that he had a high squeaky voice and that he sounded happy, it's POV/OR.
 * 7) **Put it from Kenobi's perspective as it is in the book.  Grunny  (Talk) 03:07, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "...it must have occurred in 22 BBY." What occurred in 22 BBY? Please specify.
 * 9) **Addressed :).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:07, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *Have fun. DC 02:41, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **THanks, DC :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:07, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Kal Brigger

 * Nominated by: DC 05:10, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First nom for a while, forgive me if it's a tad sloppy.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 00:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 05:29, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunny the finder of minor things
 * 2) * Please mention his species and gender in the intro and bio, and use his full name at the start of the bio.
 * 3) **Species and gender mentioned, and his full name is already used at the start. :)
 * 4) * Also mention that Dova was female in the bio, or simply Kal's sister.
 * 5) **Already mentioned that Dova was his sister, "along with his sister, Dova Brigger".
 * 6) *** I meant in the bio as well, I'd just prefer that the info wasn't only in the intro based on what I know of FA's and GA's.  Grunny  (Talk) 04:29, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Oh, whoops, my bad. Fixed. :) DC 19:44, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Kal and Dova, a pair of freelance traders, were siblings who worked in the enterprising business during their lives." The "during their lives" part is unnecessary.
 * 9) **Changed.
 * 10) * "However, the Briggers' business soon turned illegal, and began to carry different cargo. Instead of carrying consumer goods, the siblings carried munitions, light arms, and other weapons." This could be combined into one sentence.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * If the business started out legal, mention that in the intro.
 * 13) **I feel that it breaks up the comprehensiveness of the intro, and that it isn't important enough to make room, but that's just my opinion. :)
 * 14) ***Fair enough I wasn't bothered about it ;P.  Grunny  (Talk) 04:29, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "After Bammy Decree, a mechanic, came into ownership of the ship, he dated the history of the ship, in which he chronicled Kal's ownership of the ship until he had been killed." This should be reworded its a bit messy, and so many uses of "ship" is awkward.
 * 16) **Not awkward anymore hopefully.
 * 17) *Nice work DC :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 06:40, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thank you. :) DC 02:38, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mission to Fest

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 22:52, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Republic Commando goodness?

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 11:25, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Muuuuuurgh 21:11, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:53, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) * despite having just issued them stealth Katarn-class commando armor; despite being extra tough. Get rid of double word usage.
 * 2) **Done
 * 3) * Where was Niner during the actual assualt? ? 04:53, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **We do not know. Whatever he does is not mentioned in Fi's journal
 * 5) NaruHina
 * 6) * Aftermath section?
 * 7) **Added, although you made me add referencing :p
 * 8) * The intro could be expanded.
 * 9) **I added a fraction more, but I don't really know how to expand it much more to be honest.
 * 10) ***I added what I personally think is sufficient, make changes as you like. NaruHina  Talk[[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:53, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****That will also work! --Eyrezer 08:10, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * That picture is of Delta Squad. I recognize Boss and Sev especially.
 * 13) **Well that's a bummer. Removed
 * 14) * "The clones continued with their mission..." OK and? How did they contine? How did they make their way up the tower? How was the plant destroyed?
 * 15) **There is no info on this. The mission is only mentioned in a short prologue to the novel, and only described in a very fragmentary fashion.
 * 16) *Have nice day. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 07:04, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Dician

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  (Talk) 05:16, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another Legacy Sith

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Dician's hot. —Tommy  [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:55, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Yet another well-written article. 11:22, 4 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think the P&A is very unnecessary, and probably detracts from the article more than it adds to it. I'd suggest just merging it with the P&T. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:10, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Merged :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 00:53, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Tommy:
 * 4) * You call both Korriban and Ziost the Sith homeworld. Which is it?
 * 5) **Korriban current homeworld; Ziost original homeworld. Hopefuly explained now :).
 * 6) * You have many instances of Alema Rar. After the first mention, it should just be "Rar".
 * 7) **Done.  Grunny  (Talk) 02:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *I've contemplated Dician from time to time, and you've done a nice job with her. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:20, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks, Tommy :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 02:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ***My pleasure. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 02:55, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) Soresu
 * 12) * Sub-section the biography.
 * 13) **How's that?
 * 14) * continue as ordered but to prepare their weapons be ready to make fast run from the final asteroid to their target. Reword. That makes no sense whatsoever. 05:51, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Few missing words :S. How's it looking now? :)  Grunny  (Talk) 06:36, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * Where was it identified as being the same order as the One Sith? Might need a source for that. 05:58, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Sourced. Thanks for reviewing, Soresu :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 06:36, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) I believe that for the length of the article, the intro is too long and contains too much detail. Please cut it down some. DC 02:27, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *I tried cutting a lot of detail out without losing the general information. How's it looking now? Let me know if you want to see more :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 10:21, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Diblen Harleys

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 13:27, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I was looking for a witty comment to put here ... but I got nuthin'.

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) More support votes from me. 11:27, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:51, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Maybe put his belief that the Empire was just and that he never tried to find otherwise before he was told by his father in the P&T (Wow, that's a very badly written sentence). And also his outrage at being deceived.  06:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added to P/T section. Can't believe I missed that. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 09:15, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 4) * "Thrawn Crisis" needs context in the intro.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * And again in the bio.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * What Derlin's job was would probably help; otherwise it kinda just hangs there, like, "Who is this guy?"
 * 9) **Not actually stated what he does, just that he's part of the Coruscant Defense Force command staff. Added in.
 * 10) * Explaining that the NR occupied Coruscant and the Palace is key to understanding the whole Delta Source deal.
 * 11) **Added.
 * 12) *Nice BtS. Graestan ( Talk ) 05:33, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thank you. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 09:45, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Wallen

 * Nominated by: 20:09, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hanzo did all the work on this, but as a new user, he couldn't edit this page, so I put it here for him. It's his nom, not mine, as he cleaned up the article, and I'm just helping him out here.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:11, 3 February 2009 (UTC)

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Wow, a worthy Good nom before you can even edit GAN. Quite impressive. DC 21:59, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Wow indeed. I love how you can make a GA out of just a minor appearance. You're the guy who was working on Chiraneau, right? Keep up the good work, and I suggest you get yourself 50 mainspace edits so you can vote on this site. 06:34, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:19, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) DC
 * 2) * P&T?
 * 3) * "His unit was recommended to Commander Igar by Governor Yount of the Wakeelmui garrison." This sentence is the same in both the bio and intro, change it up please.
 * 4) * The BtS is very choppy, could you clear it up please?
 * 5) * You should probably use the non canon info in a seperate section, since there are two non-canon appearances for him.
 * 6) * Two questions, not objections. Are there any quotes? And you don't have ref the BtS, the sources you state in it source the paragraph so it's kind of redundant.
 * 7) *Welcome to Wookieepedia, and great job on the article! DC 20:58, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **See my talk page for Hanzo's responses to the objections, they're resolved on there, and on his talk page for my responses, since he still can't edit this page. DC 21:43, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 10) * The P&T could use some minor rewording, to show why those facts are examples of his personality and traits.
 * 11) * "Wallen and his partner watched as the Commander delivered Luke's lightsaber to the Dark Lord of the Sith, claiming that weapon was all the Rebel was armed with, and personally believed that there were more Rebels hiding in the forests, despite Luke's denial of his belief." - this could probably be broken into two sentences. As-is, it reads like Wallen and his partner claimed Luke was only armed with the lightsaber, and that they believed there were more Rebels in hiding.
 * 12) * "While telling Luke that the latter did not know the true power of the dark side of the Force and that Palpatine would show Luke the true nature of the Force and be the Jedi's master, Vader hand signaled for Wallen and his partner to escort Luke to the second Death Star, where the young Jedi Knight would be brought to the Emperor's throne room." - this could probably be broken up as well.
 * 13) * And while this may be a pain, I suggest looking through all the cards of the Endor Limited expansion pack. It's likely he's mentioned on other cards, which would then count as additional sources.
 * 14) **Taken care of, there are no Endor or Death star 2 expansion card sets referencing him. Hanzo Hasashi 23:35, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Good job on your first GAN. I hope I see more of your work here in the future. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:12, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **I'm just going to keep open my objection regarding the CCG cards for a little longer, in case I or someone else would be able to access the online card list soon. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:11, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Read above comment. Hanzo Hasashi 23:35, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) Toprawa:
 * 19) *Please check all adaptations of ROTJ for other items to add to the Appearances list, even if there is no new information.
 * 20) **Done. Hanzo Hasashi 23:35, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***And they are in chronological order now as well. Hanzo Hasashi 02:27, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *Also, I believe there is new information concerning this guy in The Movie Trilogy Sourcebook, I believe it is. There is a story somewhere in which the stormtrooper who capture Skywalker on Endor take a picture with him before handing him over to Vader. I'm not sure if this involves this guy or not, but please check. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:50, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **That was Major Lesim, a different character. Hanzo Hasashi 23:35, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) The Cav-man:
 * 25) *All the CCG cards are available on line here. Please check for any mentions of Wallen as per Grand Moff Tranner's previous objection.
 * 26) **Done per above statement w/ Grand Moff Tranner. Hanzo Hasashi 23:35, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *All references to "Luke" should be changed to "Skywalker"; surnames are used for formality in articles.
 * 28) *Tempest 1 needs to be referenced to a specific source (CCG card I believe) - it is never refered to by name in the film.
 * 29) **That was my fault - I had added that in and forgot to reference it. Now it is. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:12, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *In addition to checking all the other versions of RotJ, check any source relating to the Original Trilogy - The Art of Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, The Complete Visual Dictionary, Behind the Magic, etc, for appearances.
 * 31) **Argh, the only one I cannot do, since I don't even own alot of SW sources (only the Visual Dictionary, which does not reference him in any way). Therefore I really cannot look up any sources that even make indirect mentions of him, any help for those missing sources would be appreciated. Hanzo Hasashi 23:01, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *Nice job on your first GA. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:40, 5 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Spelunker probe droid

 * Nominated by: 11:19, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Your first vote. I was tracking the article edits from my watchlist.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:24, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I expect many more GA/FAs from you Soresu ;-).  Grunny  (Talk) 03:10, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Good job for a first GA! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:55, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I was waiting for it Soresu :). One minor thing:
 * 2) * "The droid's name may have been derived from the word "spelunker," a person who explores underground areas either professionally or for sport." Stating that the droids name may have been derived from the word spelunker is orginal research, so it would be better to instead simply state what "spelunker" means without the speculative wording.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) *Other than that great work Soresu :-).  Grunny  (Talk) 11:58, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks Grunny. : ) 05:54, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Spelunkers feature in The Clone Wars Campaign Guide, so the article needs information from that adding to it. I will do this somewhen over the next few days, unless someone else does first --Jinzler 22:35, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *That would be very much appreciated. 05:54, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Added it --Jinzler 22:29, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Thanks. 05:33, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Cylka:
 * 11) * A little bit more context on the Commerce Guild, and the Techno Union. Specifically who were they and what was their primary purpose.
 * 12) **Done?
 * 13) * The Arakyd Spelunker probe droid was overhauled by several Techno Union designers to become the chameleon droid,[1] removing the chest sensors and replacing them with three laser cannons - the last part of the sentence is dangling a bit. Please rewrite to link it together a bit more.
 * 14) **I lengthened the sentence and then split it.
 * 15) * A bit more context is needed for the contract between Arakyd Industries and the Commerce Guild.
 * 16) **Explained.
 * 17) * The first sentence of the Clone Wars section shouldn't be isolated. See if you can fit it in somewhere.
 * 18) **I could integrate it into the third paragraph of the Clone Wars, but that would put it out of chronology with the 2nd paragraph. Any suggestions?
 * 19) ***I reworked the first sentence a bit and integrated with the following paragraph.
 * 20) * The Commerce Guild Punitive Security Forces began to deploy chameleon droids in units of five, although sometimes up to twenty such units would be sent to deal with a particularly tough target. The Techno Union Droid Army also grouped them the droids in the same way, but the maximum amount of units they would use in a single engagement was twelve. - This paragraph is also fairly short, and arbitrary. It needs some context.
 * 21) **I've given it a short lead-in. If it still isn't long enough, please provide some suggestions.
 * 22) * These units were deactivated after the execution... - Which units? All of them, or just those three on Felucia. Please explain this a bit more.
 * 23) **All of them were deactivated.
 * 24) *Good job Soresu! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:12, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thank you for the review. 23:22, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

HOB-147

 * Nominated by: Kilson likes PIE 18:09, 6 February 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is only my second GA nomination, so I hope that you can help me get HOB-107 to GA status.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) NaruHina
 * 2) * The intro is in need of expansion.
 * 3) * Completly unsourced infobox. Yes, I know it has only one source but there is no way Salvaged specified he was born in a certain year or on Kamino.
 * 4) *Context for Hurd Coyle.
 * 5) **Do not say that he was ferrying the younglings when Coyle is first introduced. All articles are to be written in a IU style and giving away all the details at the beginning is not IU. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * What kinds of battle droids did he send to check the ship?
 * 7) *"As a clone pilot, who were rarely trained in hand-to-hand fighting" This needs a source.
 * 8) *Order 66 needs context at its first mention.
 * 9) * "147 wasn't only paralyzed for a moment by the second electro-dart." Then how long was he? Rephrase.
 * 10) *"meaning that HOB is the only "regular" clone trooper to not follow his orders" He is not a "regular" clone, he is a pilot. "He is the only one" is OR.
 * 11) **"is the only "normal" clone to not carry out Order 66 by choice." Is still blatant OR. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Satisfy these and I'll look again. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:25, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ***OK, I did the corrections, but I do have a few arguements. True, we don't know for certain which years he was born. We do know, however, that all clone members of the GAR were cloned in Kamino. I just don't know which source said it. If you could tell me, or put it in yourself, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, Clone commanders, ARC troopers, and commandos were designed to to be more free thinking, the average clone trooper or pilot wasn't. That's what I ment by regular. Kilson likes PIE 21:15, 07 February 09 (UTC)
 * 14) ****I know what you meant by "regular" but he is still a pilot and has different training than that of a generic trooper. The OR is that you don't know he was the only "regular" trooper to refuse to use the Order 66 training. As well, there is not a way to dicern a comparison between his mind and that of an ARC that disobeyed Order 66 unless you put that in the text. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **** We do not know that every clone was cloned on the Kamino site. How does anyone know whether or not he was clone-birthed somewhere else? There is no way to source that he specifically was born on Kamino, though the bulk of the GAR was. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *Yes I know it is an established fact that all troopers are that height, it needs to be sourced in the infobox. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:21, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Got it, that should be good, right? Kilson Likes PIE 4:42, February 8 (UTC)
 * 18) *We have a template for Databank entrys Template:DB. Use it in your sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *{{Ref| Is only for use in the infobox. Remove it for body sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:35, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Done Kilson likes PIE 18:49, 08 February 09 (UTC
 * 21) *Nowhere in the Databank article does it say /all/ clone troopers were clone-birthed on Kamino. It just says that their homeworld is Kamino. The term Homeworld can mean that they were born there or that they consider it home, you cannot assume which one is correct in this case. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:47, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 22) **Clone trooper databank entry, second paragraph, lines 2 to 4, "...each of the first generations of clone trooper was grown in the cloning facilities of Tipoca City, on the storm-drenched world of Kamino." Meaning the first 1.2 million clones of the GAR which fought during the Clone Wars, which HOB was apart of, were born on Kamino.Kilson 18:04, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 23) **How do you know he was part of the first 1.2 million clones? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***That's all the Republic had during the Clone Wars, 1.2 million clones, 10,000 Jedi about, and any volunteers they could get. Kilson 22:11, 08 February 09 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Look, there were 3 million clones, the point is there is no way to tell when he was cloned or where. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:42, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Fine, here's a compromise, I'll put possibly next to Kamino in the Infobox. Is that good?" Kilson likes PIE 15:04, 09 February 09 (UTC)
 * 27) ******No. He's either definitely from Kamino or else we don't know, in which case we leave it black. -- AdmirableAckbar {{sup|(Talk)}} 20:12, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Fine dude, no Kamino. Kilson likes PIE 15:53, 09 February 09 (UTC)
 * 29) Everything needs to be sourced if the infobox is. And you need to ref properly, so you don't have six ref notes for the same thing. Biography should be subsectioned. You shouldn't list those Databank entries in sources unless the character is specifically mentioned in them. In your ref notes for the Databank, state the specific Databank entry the info is from. -- AdmirableAckbar {{sup|(Talk)}} 11:54, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *Got it, got it, double got it, got it, and got it Kilson 08:16, 08 February 09 {UTC)
 * 1) **I really hope this works Kilson Likes PIE 18:09, 6 February 09 (UTC)

3B3-10

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 06:13, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Compelling.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Given how little we know about 3B3, I'm surprised you were able to give a lot of details in his biography. It deserves my vote. Kilson 1:23, 7 February 09 (UTC)
 * 2) Compelled. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:32, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22:29, 7 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Explain why the Control Ship's destruction caused all the droids on Naboo to deactivate.  06:51, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Asplained. Thefourdotelipsis 22:24, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa:
 * 4) *I'm assuming some kind of appearance can be had for this guy in the novel and comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:01, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Nope, sorry. Thefourdotelipsis 04:12, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

1138 (Trade Federation)

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 09:26, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Compelling.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Your obsessed with droids, aren't you? Kilson likes PIE 6:00, 8 February 209 (UTC)
 * 04:23, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Put a bit in about the aftermath of the battle and the defeat of the Federation on Naboo. This goes for 3B3-888 too.  10:54, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done, and for 888 too. Thefourdotelipsis 02:28, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Cav-Man's wonderments:
 * 4) *You have the phrase Gungans Gungan Grand Army in the bio section; I think you're missing a few words/ pipelinks here.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) *Just a little niggle; wouldn't this article be more descriptive if it were titled 1138 (Battle Droid) or 1138 (B1 Battle Droid) rather than 1138 (Trade Federation). - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 13:59, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **I would have, but there's another B1 labeled 1138. Thefourdotelipsis 02:28, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Q-series Droideka

 * Nominated by: Joe Butler
 * Nomination comments: Spent a good deal of time working on this baby.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) You've tried nominating this article three times now, and you still haven't handled the original objections, which can be found here and here. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:37, 8 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mantooine (ship)

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 21:14, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Roll-on Atrivis sector

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) The taskforce was spearheaded by the MC80 cruiser Home One, and the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Emancipator, and was supported by three Nebulon-B escort frigates, and six Corellian corvettes including the Mantooine. Break it up a bit. It hs three 'and's. 07:59, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Contispex

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:07, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Come perdition or hard vacuum, AdmirableAckbar expects that every AgriCorps member will do his duty.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Rudimentum probo.  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:27, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:44, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  (Talk) 02:26, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Good article.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:18, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Hey:
 * 2) * "was not widely known, with later historians unaware" Unaware that the poisoners were involved at all? Either way, I'd suggest changing it to something like "with later historians unaware of their involvement" or "with later historians unaware of the extent of their involvement", whichever fits better.
 * 3) **Should be good.
 * 4) * Also, and keep in mind that this is merely a suggestion, as I was unable to gain a unanimous consensus on IRC, I think it'd be better if you changed "jihad" to something else. Nothing about race, or the connotations attached with it nowadays, I just think it sounds weird here.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:11, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **If I can just dip my fly in this ointment for a sec, "jihad" is the actual word used in the source. Thefourdotelipsis 07:24, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **Having read the IRC logs, I see you're where you're coming from, Chack (and the others who agreed with your position), but I disagree. Like 4dot pointed out, jihad's used in the source and if it wasn't I probably wouldn't have used it, and as jSarek and Graestan said in IRC it's an acceptably used term in the English language. I don't really see the problem, as these crusades were jihads, even if they weren't Muslim ones. If and when someone gets offended or worked up about it or whatever, we can deal with it, but I don't see any compelling reason not to include it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:04, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***All right, that's reasonable.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:40, 9 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Bettie-Bot VJ

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:53, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've caught the minor robot GA bug.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

3B3-1204

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 06:02, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Compelling.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) I'll take that as a yes. Kison likes PIE 1:09, 09 February 09 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:44, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  (Talk) 06:29, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *I'm assuming some kind of appearance can be had for this guy in the novel and comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:58, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Nope, sorry. Thefourdotelipsis 04:15, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I really find that hard to believe, and I'd hate to go into these sources and find them myself. If the novel and comic include the Naboo escape scene and mention "battle droids guarding the hangar/Queen's ship" or some variation thereof, it would be appropriate to include an Indirect mention, which is what I'm after here. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:56, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Well, in the comic, there's no commander droid, so there's no bearing for 1204's position. Similarly, there's no formation of droids in the comic that matches or even vaguely resembles that of the film, so the particular droid could be off-panel, but since the scene only vaguely resembles the film, there's no way of telling. Thus, he doesn't make an appearance. As for the novel, that's not really what constitutes an indirect mention. I mean, the droid isn't alluded to or anything, or hinted at, there's just a few broad generalizations in the prose saying that "there were droids in the hangar." So, that's not an indirect mention...it's an indirect mention if anything, and it's so vague that to include it as an appearance would just be pointless, and somewhat misleading. It would be like a phrase in the ROTJ book, for example, saying that there were Ewoks dancing, and then constituting that as an indirect mention of some dancing Ewok from the film. It's not the case. Thefourdotelipsis 09:30, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Additionally, would this droid not have to appear in the Episode I PC game? You have to dispatch the droids guarding the ship before the level can be completed, and there are only so many droids in that hangar. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:00, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

3B3-21

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 11:57, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Compelling.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 06:36, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *I'm assuming some kind of appearance can be had for this guy in the novel and comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:59, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Nope, sorry. Thefourdotelipsis 04:16, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

3B3-888

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 23:24, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Compelling.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 06:37, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I'll get around to the other noms sometime. 04:25, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *I'm assuming some kind of appearance can be had for this guy in the novel and comic. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:59, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Oh! Wait, no. Nothing. Sorry. Thefourdotelipsis 04:20, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Gar Berra

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 12:47, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: AgriCorps! Atten&hellip;tion! I am Cavalier One, but you can call me "Cav Man"!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 13:26, 10 February 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Yeb Yeb Adem'thorn

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 23:48, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Even more compelling.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Battle of Korriban (Galactic Civil War)

 * Nominated by: Kilson Likes PIE 23:07, 10 Febbruary 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I really hope this works.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Grunny's first look
 * 2) *Underlinking. I got a few of them, but just check to make sure you link once in the intro and once in the article body.
 * 3) *In the intro and history, mention the Galactic Civil War.
 * 4) *Renegade Squadron needs context in their first mention in the History.
 * 5) *"Darth Sidious was due to make a pilgrimage to the Sith tomb world of Korriban. He believed that the Sith Lord was likely carrying at least some information concerning the Death Star. The Alliance planned to lure the Emperor into a trap and contain him while the stole the secret data about the Death Star." Need some context on Sidious, and it might be better to call him Palpatine consistently throughout the article instead of switching between them (I've changed them for you :)). When he is first mentioned use Emperor so that later in the paragraph people know who the Emperor is.
 * 6) *Also in the Prelude section there are many short sentences; it would be better to combine some of them into more complex sentences. Do the same throughout the article, ask me on my talk page if you want more info on this.
 * 7) *You mention in the intro that they were under the command of General Han Solo but you need to state this in the history.
 * 8) *"Col Serra then decided to carry out the second part of his plan. This he found almost too crazy and dangerous to do, but it had to be done." Reword second sentence.
 * 9) *"The Rebels were going to trap the Emperor inside the tomb by luring him inside and then blow the three entrances, trapping him and most of his men inside Sith burial chambers." The second part of this sentence is unnecessary as it just repeats info from the first.
 * 10) *"The last explosive was the difficult one. It was in the back entrance, located deep inside Imperial controlled main room." Merge these sentences.
 * 11) *"Renegade Squadron somehow got the explosives set either way." Reword this to something like: "Renegade Squadron were successful in setting the explosives."
 * 12) *Mention their success in capturing the holocron in the intro.
 * 13) *I'll re-review after you address these :).  Grunny  (Talk) 07:27, 11 February 2009 (UTC)

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