Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Wan Sandage Jr.

Wan Sandage Jr.

 * Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:59, May 29, 2014 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I wanted to do his dad first, but whatever.

Support

 * 1)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:05, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
 * 2)  Sir Cavalier of One FarStar.svg( Squadron channel ) 14:53, July 23, 2014 (UTC)
 * 3)  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 02:49, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

Lee's charge

 * Intro: Even though not always recognizable as his own being, sometimes being confused for his father, Sandage nonetheless went out to make a name for himself: It would be easier to read if you just say "Even though sometimes being confused for his father...".
 * How does it look now?
 * Intro: gaining popularity on a race course located on the planet of Sullust known as Serres Sarrano. He went on to gain various : Please vary this "gain" a little bit.
 * Done.
 * Question on the 24 BBY date: Is this explicitly stated as 24 BBY in the game? Or more like two years before Episode II? If the latter one is the case, you would need a reference note.
 * Added some references
 * Good, but you only need to source the date to this reference, not the whole sentence before: Like ":...he used to do this and this [Ref1]] in the year 24 BBY [Date Reference].
 * Ah, right. Fixed then! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:55, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
 * Bio: Context for Ryloth/Mon Calamari/Gamorr.
 * Added
 * Not for MonCal.
 * What's wrong with "...course on Mon Calamari, another world hosting some of the season's Podracing courses..." then? Hm, maybe planet instead of world? Bad word usage? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:55, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
 * My fault, that "world" slipped past me and is perfectly fine. Sorry.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:46, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
 * Bio: At some point, Sandage raced on a track that sped through a city. At one point,: Could you change the beginnings a little bit?
 * Fixed
 * Bio: brakes, allowing the two other pilots to ram into each other and destroy themselves, allowing Sandage : Same here.
 * Also fixed
 * Bio: Context for Holdfast and Bolt.
 * Added
 * P&T: Wan Sandage Jr. was a thrill seeker like his father, who followed the elder Sandage's footsteps and mounted up as a daring Podracer pilot.: This sounds like Sandage senior's father was a thrill seeker not senior and junior.
 * Huh, you're right. Alright, tried to reword it a bit now.
 * Could you replace the second father with something like "parent" here?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:52, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
 * Rolls off the tongue odd, imo, so I just removed the descriptor altogether. It should still be easy to tell who the sentence is referring too. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:03, June 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * P&T: You need to specify his skin color.
 * Whoops, done.
 * You need a 1st Identified tag.
 * Got it! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:36, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
 * Good work.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 22:19, May 29, 2014 (UTC)
 * Is it said in the game that Sullust is in the Outer Rim? If not you have to add a specific source for that.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:52, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
 * Alright, I'll add a reference.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:55, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
 * The "tan" in the hair color is infobox-exclusive, if I'm not mistaken.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:46, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
 * Remedied. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:03, June 8, 2014 (UTC)

Cav

 * As with Dud Bolt above, the Unlicensed tags should be removed as they infer that Star Wars Kinect is unofficial. Sir Cavalier of One FarStar.svg( Squadron channel ) 17:33, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
 * Removed them, but my question on Dud Bolt's nom page still stands. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 04:02, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

Floyd

 * You have a lot of BtS info on the "Sandage" character in Lucas' original drafts sourced to the Databank which can't be sourced there. All the Databank contained on the matter was "Sandage's name dates back to the earliest drafts of Star Wars, which contained a character named Count Sandage."  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 01:33, July 29, 2014 (UTC)
 * Do you think the information on the old Sandage's role is unnecessary? Or should I look for something to source it with? I'm not sure what it contains, but I was wondering if this might have the role of Sandage (Or maybe just source it too those comics that are/were adapting the rough draft).--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:53, August 1, 2014 (UTC)
 * I did some more editing. How does that look? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:38, August 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Well, while the information about the old Sandage may not exactly be relevant... Well, I guess it's not relevant at all, is it? I was wondering if, with some rewording, the drafts can just be self sourced.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:43, August 5, 2014 (UTC)
 * Sorry it took me a minute to get back to you. As it stands right now, I think it's probably fine, and relevant enough, since that's the origin of the name "Wan Sandage".  IFYLOFD  ( Enter the Floydome ) 02:49, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

Exiled Jedi

 * I am confused why succumbed and senility are both linked to death. First of all, only one needs to be linked. Secondly, did he really die to senility or did he just become senile?
 * Wow, how did I miss that linking? Lol. Anyways,I swear there was a source that used the word, which is why I used it, since I figured it was important in regards to Sandage Sr.'s death. I thought it was the databank, but I guess not. I suppose it should be changed anyways. I'll just use something simple, like "old age" or something similar I guess.
 * So, does Racer Revenge say that he succumbed to senility? The BTS makes it sound like the guide identifies that his was not his father.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg  (Greetings)  04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
 * Can the 22 BBY and 24 BBY dates be sourced directly to the strategy guide or does it just mention years since a specific date? If it only mentions years since The Phantom Menace or something similar, you will need to create a reference explaining the sourcing.
 * The 24 BBY dates should be fine (Also, unless I'm blind, no Guide points to 24 BBY. Only the game, which is explained in the reference). But I made some source dates, so maybe I tapped on what you were talking about. The 22 BBY references were a tad off and out of roder, especially in the third bio paragraph.
 * You still have 22 and 24 BBY dates without a special citations in at least three locations.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
 * The second sentence of the P&T feels a little point-of-view to me. Could you reword it?<?s>
 * I removed "in over his head," but the rest should be correct, in terms of calling him eager or brash, but I can get you the exact words out of the Prima guide if you want.
 * For reference 6, you need to provide a source that says when The Phantom Menace occurred.
 * Mmm, alright, though I figured that since there was another source above it with that date, I figured it wouldn't need to be repeated.
 * I asked around and I believe that the redlink in the BTS image caption is not allowed per the ban on redlinks in templates. -- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  05:36, August 13, 2014 (UTC)
 * Ah, okay. I didn't really know one way or the other. Removed, though I should probably fill that link out, too. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:23, August 13, 2014 (UTC)
 * Is there anything confirming that the Wan Sandage in the Kinect game is Wan Sandage Jr? If not, there is a distinct possibility that he could be Wan Sandage the third.-- Exiled Jedi  Oldrepublic crest.svg (Greetings)  04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)