Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Deadeye Duncan

Deadeye Duncan

 * Nominated by: Exiledjedi 23:52, February 27, 2011 (UTC)
 * Nomination Comments: Maybe Deadeye Duncan can win at something.

Naru
Please familiarize yourself with the GA requirements. The article needs sourcing, the Bts is done incorrectly, and it needs a P&T, just to name a few things. Look at other character GAs for a model. NaruHina Talk  00:04, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * I sourced the article and added a personality and traits section. I'm not sure how to go about fixing the behind the scenes section. I would also like to know if the article needs more sourcing. If you have anymore objections, I would be glad to hear from you. Thank you for your help in improving this article.--Exiledjedi 03:54, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'm going to refrain from a full review because I repectfully disagree with Holo. I'm not a good teacher, and I can't give you good didactic criticism that will move this nom along. However, I leave you with the advise to not give the article a single edit before placing it here. It is virtually impossible to pump out a Good Article with only one minor revision; that goes for the most experienced editors and especially if you're new. Furthermore, and quite frankly, I don't think this page should accomodate those who do so in ignorance. That said, I wish you luck. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:36, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your help Naru and thank you for the advise.--Exiledjedi 05:03, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * The article does need to include details about the cut content. Source the information as I've provided below. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:13, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
 * I added the cut content back into the behind the scenes, but I did not put the YouTube link back because the editor warned me that it should not be done.--Exiledjedi 23:42, March 9, 2011 (UTC)
 * The Youtube link should be added in this exceptional instance. Not everyone can peruse the DLG files so the link is included as a courtesy to the readers. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:03, March 12, 2011 (UTC)

Holocron

 * With references, only the first needs to be the full version. From then on you can use . The  tag only needs to be used in to infobox, outside of that, you should use  . The Sourcing guide says it more clealy than I do.
 * I think I fixed the sourcing, but I'm not sure.--Exiledjedi 12:30, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * Context on Taris, Ajurr (his profession should work), Malak, Revan and Two Fingers (mention his injury).
 * I added some background information on the events.--Exiledjedi 23:31, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * "Duncan was thought to have been killed, along with the rest of the inhabitants of Taris, though rumors circulated of his survival in the aftermath." Generally we try to avoid that sort of "his fate was unknown" sentence.
 * It's removed.--Exiledjedi 12:30, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * I removed that section from the behind the scenes section since I could find no concrete eveidence that it was cut content. The only hits on this topic were on forum boards talking about it as a mod.--Exiledjedi 22:50, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * Source it as "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: Dialog tlk file: StrRefs 20252, 20264 and 20265. See also: http://youtube.com/watch?v=tkKcO1gH9YM Deadeye Duncan on Manaan." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:24, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * 'Him' used where 'his' seems more appropriate twice in the second paragraph of the biography.
 * Fixed.--Exiledjedi 12:30, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * Information from the CSWE needs to be in the article and sourced. If you don't have that book, make a request here.
 * I added and sourced the new information.--Exiledjedi 23:14, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * For anything that may or may not have happened, specifically Revan fighting him, game mechanics tags need to be added. I've put them in this time, but there's still information in the paragraph above them which should be put in those tags.
 * I added the game mechanics tag in one place, but I'm not sure if I put it everywhere it needs to be--Exiledjedi 13:31, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * More later, perhaps.  Holocron Greatholocron.jpg (Complain) 06:27, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * I'll support this once the other objections have been resolved.  Holocron Greatholocron.jpg (Complain) 03:34, March 1, 2011 (UTC)

Ecks Dee
1358 (Talk)  12:43, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * Speculation in the infobox.
 * Speculation removed.--Exiledjedi 22:59, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * P&T section heading improperly capitalized.
 * Fixed--Exiledjedi 13:32, February 28, 2011 (UTC)
 * The year mentioned in the intro belongs in the body, too.
 * Added the year in the body of the article.--Exiledjedi 13:32, February 28, 2011 (UTC)

Tm_Tdumtidum
–Tm_T (Talk) 07:00, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Quickies:
 * Latter paragraph in P&t section is currently more a description of game mechanics than IU prose.
 * I hope it is better now.--Exiledjedi 16:46, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Getting there, will re-check it with fresh eyes later. –Tm_T (Talk) 18:36, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * The end of Biography section sounds speculation: "was thought to have been killed" ..also who thought so?
 * This information was just some speculation that I forgot to remove from the article.--Exiledjedi 16:46, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * But now the destruction of Taris is mentioned only in the Intro... –Tm_T (Talk) 18:36, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Added it in the main part of the article.--Exiledjedi 00:18, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * Bts doesn't mention CSWE at all, you should mention what it does say about Duncan.
 * Information added.--Exiledjedi 00:18, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * You mention and link certain year twice in the Bio, reword the latter appearance.
 * It's Fixed.--Exiledjedi 00:18, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * Also, source the year, the game isn't one.
 * Source added. The New Essential Chronology provides the date on the Destruction of Taris as 3,956 BBY which occurs in the video game when Deadeye Duncan is part of the story.--Exiledjedi 00:18, March 2, 2011 (UTC)
 * You might like to move the reference right after the year, and reference the rest around it to the game or such. –Tm_T (Talk) 21:01, March 17, 2011 (UTC)
 * Done.--Exiledjedi 22:21, March 17, 2011 (UTC)
 * More later, improving nicely. (: –Tm_T (Talk) 18:36, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * Forgot to mention, see what I did. (–Tm_T (Talk) 18:37, March 1, 2011 (UTC)
 * In History section, you mention Destruction of Taris (yup, missing link there) and reintroduce it (with year) in the following sentence, see if you can combine these. –Tm_T (Talk) 21:01, March 17, 2011 (UTC)
 * Is it any better now?--Exiledjedi 22:21, March 17, 2011 (UTC)

QGJ

 * I believe he should be mentioned in Knights of the Old Republic: Prima's Official Strategy Guide. Check that. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:06, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
 * There was just an image of Deadeye Duncan in the book, but I now mentioned this in the behind the scenes and listed the book as a source.--Exiledjedi 00:30, March 12, 2011 (UTC)
 * Cool. Just remember to sort the sources by release dates in the future. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:23, March 15, 2011 (UTC)

Ecks Dee, part II

 * The introduction could probably use some small expansion; currently it says next to nothing what he does. 1358  (Talk)  17:35, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * Any suggestions on what to add to the introduction? Most of what he does is dependent on what the player did in the video game, so it cannot be added to the introduction.--Exiledjedi 17:43, March 19, 2011 (UTC)
 * We generally assume that Revan more or less "did everything" during his journey, so add that he fought Revan in the dueling ring.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 09:25, March 20, 2011 (UTC)
 * Thanks Olioster. I added some information to the introduction.--Exiledjedi 14:27, March 20, 2011 (UTC)

Deadeye Dunkin Donuts

 * Hey there! A really important thing to remember about writing articles: The intro functions separately from the rest of the article. It's effectively not a part of the article itself, but rather a summary of everything below it (the article). As such, the biography should be led the same way as the intro and establish the same info --- ie, "Deadeye Duncan was a Human male..." Everything that's been introduced, linked, and given context in the intro needs to undergo the same treatment in the bio. The bio is a whole new beginning from the intro; there should never be any info that's intro-exclusive.
 * Be careful not to speculate --- "which was likely because..." as obvious as this seems, it's still speculation and should probably be left out. The info about him losing fifty-four consecutive matches is right there, so the reader can probably work the connection out themselves.
 * Can you keep the chronology chronological? Ie, put the stuff in the bio about the destruction of Taris at the very end (after the game completion template)?
 * Are there any more quotes that can be used in the article? Something by Ajuur about beating Duncan not being an accomplishment; any other words spoken by Duncan --- there's gotta be something. Menkooroo 18:11, March 25, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

 * While this article needs more work than most GAN's, I think it's good enough to review.  Holocron Greatholocron.jpg (Complain) 06:27, February 28, 2011 (UTC)