Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Defender (Venator-class)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Defender (Venator-class)

 * Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 08:00, 3 May 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Apparently Anakin got tired of blowing up droid control ships from the inside, so he decided to stab one with a freaking Star Destroyer.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Per pre-nom review.  CC7567  (talk) 06:07, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi beacon ) 19:51, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Per review below.  &mdash;Lucius malfoy7  Talk ' • ' Reference  01:23, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:47, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  11:23, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:31, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 22:36, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) * Intro: you mention Tuuk's "lead ship". Please use something less awkward here, like "command ship", or something similar.
 * 3) * Intro and First Assault: you link to the Grand Army of the Republic navy, but never to the actual Republic Navy itself. Please rearrange some of the links so that you connect directly to the Republic Navy.
 * 4) * Second Assault: you say "Skywalker opened a hololink", but in the episode, it doesn't appear to be a holo&mdash;it's a screen like the one used early in TPM. Is there any technical word for what he used? (If not, this isn't a big deal, and don't worry about it.)
 * 5) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi beacon ) 13:17, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **I don't think there is a technical term for what they were using to communicate, so to be honest, I don't really know what to use. I addressed the other two objections though. Kilson Likes PIE 18:57, 2 May 09 (UTC)
 * 7) ***That's ok; I just wanted to make sure there wasn't anything else to use there. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi beacon ) 19:51, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Lucius finds his way in a Star Destroyer... Scary
 * 9) *Good job. Here are just a few things.
 * 10) * Just a minor note: you should probably create a redirect like "The Defender (Venator-class)" and others, if you deem it necessary.
 * 11) **I don't really think it's that necessary, however, if someone else agrees with you, then I'll create one or two.
 * 12) * The Clone Wars needs context in the intro. (I guess it does need it, CC.)
 * 13) **I fixed up the grammar here.
 * 14) * ...under command of the Neimoidian Captain Mar Tuuk. Should be "which was under..."
 * 15) * ...and put the Neimoidian Captain Mar Tuuk in charge of the fleet. Sounds rather clumsy.
 * 16) **Should change to placed.  &mdash;Lucius malfoy7  Talk ' • ' Reference  21:09, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Addressed
 * 18) * I recommend switching the head quote with the second assault quote. The current second assault quote is better for a header, as it is a good, descriptive quote and briefly tells the ship's history, while the current header would be better for the second assault section.
 * 19) * In between "complete scan of the Defender" and "discovered", there should be a context clue stating that Mar Tuuk and his crew discovered Anakin.
 * 20) **I didn't put it exactly where you want it, but I think it sounds good.
 * 21) * An error in... It should be stated that it is an animation error, or whatever kind of error it is.
 * 22) * Mauser is correct; TCSWE was published before Storm Over Ryloth.
 * 23) **Sorry, I did not know that, I fixed it.
 * 24) *Lucius malfoy7 23:11, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **I addressed your objections, thanks for the review. Kilson Likes PIE 21:37, 5 May 09 (UTC)
 * 26) Soresu's first look
 * 27) * Doesn't conform with the new starship LG.
 * 28) * Around 22 BBY, the planet of Ryloth was seized by the Separatists, and a large Confederate fleet was placed over the planet to blockade it, which was under the command of the Neimoidian Captain Mar Tuuk. You can't be commanding a verb. I would suggest Around 22 BBY, the planet of Ryloth was seized by the Separatists, and a large Confederate fleet, under the command of the Neimoidian Captain Mar Tuuk, was placed over the planet to blockade it.
 * 29) * "Under command of" is too repetitive in the intro. Also, I think under the command of sounds better and is more correct. Please go through the article and change all cases.
 * 30) * However, she disobeyed orders, thinking she could reach Tuuk's Lucrehulk flagship and destroy it, and the Defender and the other two Star Destroyers were heavily damaged by Vulture droid suicide attacks without the cover. Split the sentence and use something other than "cover", since it's already in the sentence before it.
 * 31) * Eventually, after losing most of her squadron, Tano returned to the Republic task force, the Defender and the Resolute were able to retreat to hyperspace, but the Redeemer had taken too damage and broke apart in space. Reword.
 * 32) * At first, Tuuk believed the Jedi's lie, but after a complete scan of the Defender discovered that Anakin was the only life-form aboard, Tuuk uncovered Skywalker's deception. Reword.
 * 33) * The Resolute arrived out of hyperspace to engage what remained of the Confederate blockade, and Tano's forces were able to defeat the remaining frigates. Remaining is repetitive.
 * 34) **How about now dude. Kilson Likes PIE 22:00, 07 May 09 (UTC)
 * 35) Grunny:
 * 36) * In the "Description" section you have used the specifications for a stock Venator, however, we don't know that the Defender is exactly the same. It may have been modified especially considering it was in use during war time i.e. extra weapons, different hyperdrive, bigger or smaller crew. Unless the source specifically states the Defender has those specifications you can't assume it does. Try to only use information confirmed about the Defender.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:04, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Addressed, thank you for the review. Kilson Likes PIE 19:53, 27 May 09 (UTC)
 * 38) Sorry for the post-vote, but can the article be less subsectioned? There's no reason for the Battle of Ryloth section itself because that was the only battle it was involved in.  CC7567  (talk) 23:49, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *It's OK, got it. Kilson Likes PIE 20:42, 13 June 09 (UTC)
 * 40) A few more:
 * 41) * Can a quote be found for the "First assault" section?
 * 42) * The real-world OR in the Bts section needs sourcing. I would suggest removing it altogether.
 * 43) *I apologize for the additional post-vote stuff; it's almost there, but there are just a few things remaining before it's ready. :)  CC7567  (talk) 23:25, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Wasn't TCSWE published before Storm Over Ryloth first aired?  Mauser  Comlink 12:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I believe so; I corrected it.  CC7567  (talk) 06:19, 7 May 2009 (UTC)