Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Porporite


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Porporite

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 08:15, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Some Dan Wallace goodness

(4 ACs/3 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 03:54, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:26, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) It's got my vote.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 05:36, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) You know I like cetaceans. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:39, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ~ SavageBob 15:08, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:01, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) What I could find...
 * 2) *Intro
 * 3) **"It whipped them into a homicidal frenzy" This seems a bit... POVish, or prosey.  Not sure which.
 * 4) **"They withstood everything" This too. While I'm not denying that the sources said that, it just seems a bit... prosey.  Or something.  It seems more like what I'd see on an SWF GAN than on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) *That's all I could find, aside from minor things which I tackled while I was there.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 06:37, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **Addressed. --Eyrezer 08:25, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 8) * The NEC doesn't say it was neighboring species who hired the Ganks, but rather that it was "various factions". Does one of the other sources clarify that it was species who put out the hit on them? ~ SavageBob 15:35, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Yes. According to the CSWE, "Gank killers were hired by concerned neighbouring species to eliminate the Porporite threat". I added in an extra ref tag to clarify the source of this. --Eyrezer 21:49, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 11) * In the BTS, are the last two sentences really necessary? The note about cetaceans really doesn't belong here (it would belong in a BTS in Cetacean), and I don't see why you need to mention another cetacean species.
 * 12) *Besides that, good job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 21:09, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **I think the sentence on cetaceans is useful there. It certainly does not detract from the article. I removed the second, although again I think it could be illustrative for people wondering what cetacean species might look like. --Eyrezer 03:40, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I copy edited and made a few changes you can revert without worrying about hurting my feelings. ;)
 * In real-world writing, talking about "discovering" new peoples is considered POV, since it implies a perspective from the POV of the "discoverers" (like Columbus with the Native Americans, who had already "discovered" themselves). Then again, this is Star Wars, so revert if you'd like. :)
 * I wanted to make it clear that the homicidal frenzy thing is a species-specific reaction to ryll, but there may be some other way to clarify this better.
 * Not a copy edit, but aren't the Kallidahin cetaceans? We don't need to list every last cetacean species in the BTS, but one more might be OK. ~ SavageBob 15:35, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * I thought about that one but didn't have the source at hand to check it. I may add it in later when I get a chance. --Eyrezer 06:04, September 6, 2009 (UTC)