Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Zekka Thyne (second nomination)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(8 Inqs/5 Users/13 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) Hey all. Some of you may remember that I nominated Thyne a few months back. Unfortunately, personal circumstances (new job, new apartment, new fiancee) kept me out of Wookieepedia for a while, and I fell behind in updating the page. I'm back, and thought I'd throw him out for consideration again. As best as I could tell, Thyne was very close to becoming a FA, but the main hang-up was his SWG information, which I just could not obtain. However, I was advised that since the character in SWG is a totally different species than the real Thyne, I should make a seperate page for him, using Chertyl Ruluwoor (Human) as a precedent. I did that, and think Thyne is almost ready for approval; however, I think there may have been some minor clean-up issues I didn't get to last time, so please take a look, let me know if anything needs changing, and I'll do my best. Thanks again! --Colinmcev 06:35, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Ozzel 04:47, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Glad to see this has been cleaned up and renominated. Nice job, Colinmcev.  Greyman ( Talk ) 04:51, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:16, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Nice job addressing the objections. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:34, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:13, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:26, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:03, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) Glad you came back and finished the job, Colinmcev. Good work.  Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 02:11, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *Thanks man. I appreciate the help from everybody, it's been fun. Evir Derricote is next. :D --Colinmcev 04:08, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 21:16, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) --Eyrezer 04:33, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * I would like to see some dates, i.e., years, given in the intro. When was he being groomed under Xizor? When was he working for Loor? When was he captured on Kessel and killed on Coruscant?
 * 3) **I put three years in the intro: when Xizor started grooming him, when he was captured and when he was released, which pretty much covers everything else up to his death. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Same deal with this sentence. Give a time frame: "Zekka Thyne joined the Black Sun syndicate during a time when a loose sense of honor the organization once had was starting to fade"
 * 5) **"Side Trip" credits this directly to the rise of the Empire, but doesn't give any year or date range. I modified the sentence accordingly (actually, the sentence after it, but I think it works). --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Unless Side Trip or some other source explicitly discusses the possibility of Corellia being his planet of origin, remove this unknown phrasing. Additionally, since it is unclear, it's apparently not solid enough to list Corellia as his homeworld in the infoxbox: "It is unclear whether Thyne was born on Corellia, but it was where he spent the majority of his early life."
 * 7) **The reason I have the reference to Corellia being where he spent the majority of his early life is based on the suggestion of someone from the last time I had this nominated. As I said then, Corellia was listed as his homeworld before I started tinkering with the page, so we put this in rather than change that. I see where you are coming from here and have made the changes accordingly, but I'm curious to hear from anyone else if they agree or disagree? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***And, this seems especially awkward if the name of the section in "Assignment to Corellia" Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:56, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Meant to put the above statement here, in case you had any confusion. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:48, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Two things with this sentence: "Although how his association with Loor began is unclear, it is possible that he was captured and agreed to assist Loor in exchange for leniency, as well as rewards."
 * 11) **Reworded this one. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Please remove or reword the beginning "unclear" clause. Unnecessary. Second, I can't remember, but unless this "possible" speculation is clearly presented as such in the book, please remove.
 * 13) **Changed to "unknown." Is that acceptable? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No, it still needs to either be removed or reworded to avoid unknown phrasing and speculation. I cite this from the Manual of Style page: "...do not include phrases like "his ultimate fate is unknown" or "what happened to the ship after that is a mystery." Note how wording like "it is likely that Thyne..." is speculative. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:48, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ****I just removed it. --Colinmcev 22:16, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Please provide a date for this raid. 2 ABY, IIRC: "As Corran and Hal Horn discovered during a raid on his fortress"
 * 17) **Did it. I should also note that I found all 2 ABY references should be 3 ABY. I fixed all of them. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Even better. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:48, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Unless this speculation is presented as such in the source, please remove. If it is, please reword to say that the Horns suspected Loor to be behind them, as I think the case was: "Although the Horns never discovered these connections, Loor was almost certainly behind them"
 * 20) **I'm felt this should be left in because I think it's pretty clear Stackpole put these reference to Imperial backdoor connections in to deliberately make a reference to his connection to Loor, which he had already established in Wedge's Gamble. I won't leave it in if it means hanging up the FA nomination, but do you see what I mean? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I don't necessarily objection to it being there, just the way it's worded. Since it seem as if its actual in-universe speculation, it was likely presented as such through a character. I would like to see it say, for ex, the Horns believed Loor was behind them, or whatever the case may be. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:02, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) ****I've reworded it and I think it works much better now. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 02:04, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * This sentence just lacks the appropriate tone, particularly the opening clause. Please remove the beginning and elaborate on how his involvement with Loor led to Black Sun's downfall:. "Whatever the circumstances and regardless of Thyne's personal intentions, his cooperation with Loor contributed to some degree to Black Sun's downfall."
 * 24) **I looked back and honestly, I couldn't find anything about how his involvement damaged Black Sun, so I took this out altogether. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * Please provide a date for this: The Imperial kept his involvement with Thyne a secret, which he later used as leverage to once again turn Thyne into his spy during Rogue Squadron's covert reconnaissance mission on Imperial Center"
 * 26) **Done. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * I don't presume to remember, but please confirm that Thrawn was a Grand Admiral at this point: "Vader concocted a scheme with Grand Admiral Thrawn"
 * 28) **Having read this a couple of weeks ago, I can confirm that he is. Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:05, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * Please provide a brief description of who Crisk is: "under the guise that they were delivering unknown cargo to Borbor Crisk."
 * 30) **I already included a reference to Crisk earlier in the article (first paragraph of Appointment to Corellia). --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Ah, ok. My bad. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Please elaborate on what this is: "This allowed Thrawn to infiltrate his fortress"
 * 33) **I thought that was covered by the previous sentence, but I did clarify it. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Thank you, that's just what I was looking for. This reads better now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * You never really explain why Thrawn decided to let Thyne live, just that he modified his plan after meeting the Horns. Please do so: "By allowing Thyne to be captured instead of killed, Thrawn was able to further distance Vader and the Empire from the plot to eliminate him."
 * 36) **I put in a more specific reason. Does that sentence work better for you? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) ***I must admit, after reading this through again and comparing what you had, it worked fine and even read better the way you had it. Perhaps you could try to work in what you had previously along with your addition? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) * The previous brief mention of the cargo is not enough to really explain what the cargo is, as you have it written. This could be remedied with something as simple as saying the cargo being delivered to Crisk, or whatever the case is: "because Thrawn had arranged for them to pick up the cargo"
 * 39) **Got it. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * As I go along, I vaguely remember that Thyne was something like the bane/arch enemy of Corran Horn. That he was especially elusive and avoided capture by Corran himself on several occasions, yet I see nothing in here describing this.
 * 41) **I haven't seen any references to that in Side Trip; nor in Wedge's Gamble except that Corran remembered and hated him based on their encoutner that led to Thyne's capture, which is obviously covered in this article. Maybe you can refer me to where in the story you remember this from? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) ***You're right. What you describe jogs my memory better. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) * You say this as though Vader would somehow have had to answer for, well, anything that caught his fancy. This seems inappropriate, and I don't believe Side Trip ever makes any indications that Vader was trying to hide anything from anyone. In many ways, he does run the Empire, after all. Please remove, unless you might mean back to Black Sun?: "Vader's plan was never traced back to the Empire"
 * 44) **That was meant to indicate that nobody ever discovered the Empire was behind Thyne's capture, although it was terribly worded. I fixed that. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) ***The rewording helps, but I'm still left a bit confused as to how the Imperial involvement in his capture was never discovered, yet he was sent to the Imperial prison on Kessel. Perhaps you could include a brief explanation, even though it's covered previously, that the credit went to CorSec. Toprawa and Ralltiir
 * 46) ****I gotcha. Added the Corsec reference. --Colinmcev 22:16, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *****Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:51, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * Negative connotations as associated by whom? Please explain: "and the negative connotation associated with her by living there"
 * 49) **This is meant to refer to outsiders from Kessel who associate everyone who lives there with the negative connotations of the prison planet. I reworded it, let me know if that works better. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Much clearer. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * I would really like to see a more solid number here, if possible. Does the source approximate five years? I'm curious as to how you came about this number: "After serving about five years on Kessel,"
 * 52) **I think it was just math, although as I noted about, all the 2 ABY references were changed to 3 ABY, so I changed the amount of years accordingly. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) ***I like the addition much better. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * A couple things with this sentence. First, way too drawn out. Try and break it up into at least another sentence. You use the verb "bring" in consecutive clauses. Please reword, ideally, the second one. "During the Provisional Council's planning of the liberation, Borsk Fey'lya formed a plan to free several Black Sun prisoners from Kessel and bring them into Coruscant, where they would bring disparate parts of the criminal organization together still remaining on the planet and work to sabotage the Empire, during which time Rogue Squadron could infiltrate the planet, collect reconnaissance, and bring down the planet's shields."
 * 55) **I split it up into three sentences and did some rewording. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * Please give a brief description of what the Alien Protection Zone is: "Some time later, Thyne found Horn alone in a cantina in Coruscant's Alien Protection Zone"
 * 57) ** Got it. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) * Please elaborate on who Asyr Seilar is: "having been captured by Asyr Sei'lar"
 * 59) ** Done. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * This description doesn't do much to differentiate between his prior role as Intelligence liaison to CorSec and his role at this time. Please reword, or otherwise explain: "and brought to Kirtan Loor, who was now serving as an Imperial Intelligence officer"
 * 61) **I'm not sure what the objection is here. His new job (Imperial Intelligence officer) is a promotion over his old one (Intelligence liaison to CorSec). Maybe you can tell me how you'd suggest rewording it? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) ***To me, I don't see the difference between a liaison officer and just an officer. Was he higher up in the ranks? Toprawa and Ralltiir
 * 63) ****Now that I've looked back, I'm grateful for this suggestion because it turns out that when Loor was an Imperial liason officer to CorSec, he wasn't actually in Imperial Intelligence; that was a promotion that came later! I changed the earlier references accordingly. --Colinmcev 02:04, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) *****Good, good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:43, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * This could be reworded better: "When Thyne resisted, Loor threatened to leak Thyne's past spy associations with Loor to Black Sun slicers"
 * 66) ** Reworded. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * Not so much an objection, as I just think this sentence comes off as unnecessarily euphemistic. I seem to remember Loor having a stormtrooper shoot him in the abdomen. If so, please reword to sound more direct, if you catch my meaning. "Loor had Thyne sent back to Rogue Squadron, but not before having Thyne inflicting with a non-lethal blaster injury to the abdomen so that it would appear that he had escaped capture"
 * 68) **Does this rewording seem better for you? --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) ***Yes, good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:51, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) * Provide a brief description of who Mirax Terrik is: "She was only saved when Horn and Mirax Terrik provided assistance"
 * 71) **Done. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) * Please reword the beginning of this sentence to avoid starting out consecutive sentences with "This": "This confrontation would serve"
 * 73) **Done. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Please paraphrase Horn's quote, rather than quoting him directly: "which Corran Horn felt gave the impression of "one massive black eye that was slowly fading.""
 * 75) **Done. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * If I recall, Thyne had some sort of artwork hanging in his compound that featured the Emperor in some capacity. I would like to see more detailed explanations of the artworks he had there. Thrawn does a nice job of analyzing them and his character. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:56, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 77) **The only descriptions I found of the artwork in Thyne's place were what I already have in the article: mostly excessive nudes, heavy color scheme of pinks and purples and harsh shades of green, and Thyne's tendency to "correct" the art. Thrawn and Horn had a discussion about art earlier in the story, but it was about an artist they were both familiar with, not what Thyne had collected nor what it meant for his character. I think that's probably what you were recalling. --Colinmcev 05:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) Round Two:
 * 79) * I just want to confirm that what you have here is indeed the case. You originally worded it as speculation, but now it reads as if its a definite. "but never learned that Loor was behind them"
 * 80) **I checked and its right. The main reason I previously said it as speculation was because I imagined that maybe Corran Horn might have thought back after learning that Zekka was an Imperial spy and figured it out, you know? But strictly going by what it says in Side Trip, it's correct the way it is now. --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) * I'm not sure if you saw this, but I added this above after one of your changes: "I must admit, after reading this through again and comparing what you had, it worked fine and even read better the way you had it. Perhaps you could try to work in what you had previously along with your addition?"
 * 82) **I tried to combine the two. What do you think of it now? --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 83) ***Good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 84) * In the intro, I would like to see an explanation of why he was called Patches
 * 85) **I added an explanation to the nickname, but personally I don't really like it because I feel the first sentence now takes too long before getting to who exactly Thyne is. But on the other hand, I don't think it really fits anywhere else in the intro. I would argue for removing the description I just added, but if you feel it's good, I'll leave it. --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) ***I disagree, and I think that the sentence is perfect as is. Not too long or rambling. Describing why he is known as Patches is an essential detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 87) * Something just isn't sitting right with me here. You write that Xizor "began grooming him as the heir-apparent to the criminal empire," and then write in the next section that "Xizor was able to establish Thyne as his chief associate on Corellia..." While technically true, it just makes it seem as if his "training period" has come to an end, when this does not seem to be the case. I quote from story: "Xizor had used Corellia as a training ground for some of his lieutenants. The most recent and most brutal of them was Zekka Thyne." Perhaps you could reword to explain that he was on Corellia specifically to be trained, as seems the case, and that he was still being groomed. Also, not that I went through the story that meticulously, but I haven't found anything saying that he was meant to be an heir to Xizor, just that he was being groomed as a top subordinate. Please confirm.
 * 88) **The heir-apparent wording was in the story before I got to it, but I found it in a description by Corran Horn in Wedge's Gamble, not Side trip, so I left it in. I added something about Corellia serving as a training ground for Thyne. What do you think? --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) ***Perfect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * The BTS could benefit from some kind of explanation of how Galaxies created a Bothan character of the same name.
 * 91) **Done. --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) ***I would still like to see a little more expansion of this. Look at the Bothan character's BTS and see what is there. That's what I'm looking for. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 93) ****I put a bit more in. I should note, however, that this article is not about the SWG Thyne, so I don't have to include such information as what quests Thyne assigned within the game or what part his character played. That info, if anybody ever finds it, should go in the other profile. --Colinmcev 03:25, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) *****No, you shouldn't have to. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:34, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 95) *As I look through Side Trip, I'm finding that you do a very nice job of getting all the necessary details and information down to a tee. Kudos. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:14, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) **Thank you my good sir. :D --Colinmcev 01:24, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 97) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 98) * "Although Horn did not completely disregard the idea, he doubted Thyne was involved, as the murder took place more than a year-and-a-half into Thyne's prison term. He did not allow himself to be bothered by the comments." This reads awkwardly.
 * 99) **I reworded it. What do you think? --Colinmcev 02:15, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * Also, could you put something about how he was known as the most vicious vigo in P&T?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 02:08, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 101) **Done. --Colinmcev 02:15, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) LtNOWIS:
 * 103) * It shouldn't used Template:Rhere at the top, because Patches does not in fact redirect there. -LtNOWIS 04:21, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) **Addressed. Hobbes ( Tiger's Lair ) 21:04, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) Same objections from last time
 * 106) * How did Thyne become a Vigo? Was he just appointed one as soon as he joined or are there no details? Either way, it might be worth mentioning. Also, is Thyne a Vigo? Or was he just a high-ranking Black Sun member? I ask only because we seem to know who all nine of Xizor's vigos as of SotE are, and he's not included. If he was just replaced as of that time, that too needs mentioning. If it's not explicitly stated, it shouldn't be in there.
 * 107) **The term Vigo was included in this story long before I ever edited it, so I always assumed it was fine, especially since Xizor held Thyne is such high regards. However, looking through both Side Trip and Wedge's Gamble, I can't find any use of the actual word Vigo. Considering what you've said about the nine Vigos already being known and Thyne not being among them, I guess I can't definitively call Thyne a Vigo. I've removed the references. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 108) ***I thought that might be the case. :P Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) * Although you already reworded it, I think, "Horn was saved when Thyne was shot to death by his lover, Inyri Forge" still needs to be reworded. As it reads now, it's hard to tell if Forge is Zekka's lover or Corran's.
 * 110) **Is this better? --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 111) ***Nice. Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 112) * Disguised as the bounty hunter Jodo Kast, Thrawn and the crew traveled to Corellia, under the guise that they were delivering unknown cargo to Borbor Crisk. In fact, Thrawn intentionally allowed his de facto partners to be captured, posing as a hired gun for Thyne. Who was Thrawn's crew? Stormtroopers? Just random mercs? This whole part needs further clarification. As it's written now I'm confused as to why letting his crew get captured would help his cause.
 * 113) **Reworded. Let me know if that's better. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 114) ***Small change but effective. Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) * However, Thrawn encountered disguised CorSec investigators Corran and Hal Horn he modified his plan to allow the Horns to capture Thyne. Should this be, "However, when Thrawn..."? Either that or broken up into two sentences.
 * 116) **Added the missing word. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 117) ***You had it at "However, Thrawn when". I changed it to "However, when Thrawn", but if that was intentional let me know. Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 118) * Most of Thyne's soldiers were not present at the fortress at the time of the assault because Thrawn had arranged for them to pick up the cargo. Hmm? What cargo? The blasters? I thought those were for Crisk, Thyne's nemesis?
 * 119) **Clarified this.
 * 120) * Doole informed them that Inyri, sister of slain Rogue Squadron pilot Lujayne, was to be released along with Thyne. Forge was a prisoner as well? I thought she was just the daughter of two prison rehabilitators.
 * 121) **You're right, I fixed this. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 122) * Several members of Rogue Squadron were present at the time, having been captured by Asyr Sei'lar. Why was she capturing them? Just a minor mention could be helpful.
 * 123) **Done. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) * If "Patches" was only used as a derogatory nickname and not one that he himself used, it might be better to remove it from the infobox.
 * 125) **Done. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) * Not really an objection, but could a quote page be formed? It's always such a good supplement. Cull Tremayne 10:40, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 127) **Sure. I'll do this tonight after work. --Colinmcev 18:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) ***Nice work. Cull Tremayne 19:44, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 129) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 130) * The second paragraph of "Appointment to Corellia" uses the word "fortress" a bit much.
 * 131) **Fixed. --Colinmcev 01:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) * "In temperament, Zekka Thyne was extremely aggressive, often using threats and intimidation to get his way. He was considered the most vicious Black Sun criminal. Thyne had a tendency to lash out, especially when surprised, and thus could be very unpredictable. Despite this apparent lack of self-control, Thyne was quite intelligent." Lot of short sentences that could have more detail or be combined to vary up the syntax.
 * 133) **This is a trap I fall into as a reporter. In newspapers, they prefer short sentences and short paragraphs, and I tend to fall into that habit in other writings too. I combined some of the sentences. --Colinmcev 01:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 134) * A supporting picture, perhaps of Inyri Forge or Corran Horn would not be amiss later on in the article. Not an objection per se.
 * 135) **I added one of Forge and one of Horn. --Colinmcev 01:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 136) * A relationship mention of Inyri Forge needs to placed in a new section or in P&T.
 * 137) **Can you please be a bit more specific with this objection? I don't think a separate biography section is warranted since it would basically only consist of the paragraph I have in the Imprisonment on Kessel section, and I felt it belonged there anyway because that was the time period in Thyne's life that he met Forge. As for P&T, I'm not sure what I should include in there or why it would belong there. If you could maybe just give me a bit more specific guidance on what you're looking for, I'll do my best... --Colinmcev 01:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) ***Sure thing. If you'll take a look at Callista Ming, you'll notice that while her relationships with Luke Skywalker and Geith are discussed in the main article, there's also a little section at the end that discusses the relationship. Now, I agree with you; Thyne has the relational depth of a very shallow puddle, so you could do what Havac routinely does with articles such as Soontir Fel and toss a small blurb into the P&T discussing it. If that means moving some info from the main bio; that's okay. I'll try and ask some other Inqs this weekend for their opinion on the matter.
 * 139) ****I think I get what you're saying. I added a relationships section, but since much of the information was already included in the story, I tried to keep it more analytical rather than just repeating myself. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 06:15, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 140) *****I made a few edits to it to provide a hint of historical context. Be careful not to use present tense except possibly in the Behind the Scenes section. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 141) * If Thyne has any particular skills (I doubt it, but hey), place them in the P&T or in a Skills and Abilities section.
 * 142) **Pretty much, except for the vibroblades thing that I mention, the only skill he seems to have is being a big jerk, which is pretty well covered in P&T. ;) --Colinmcev 01:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 143) *Glad to see this nom back. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:36, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 144) Please go back over linking. Plenty of links are not placed on the first mentions, there are a number of common Star Wars topics mentioned but not linked to, and there are more than a few opportunities for piped links.  Graestan ( Talk ) 05:37, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 145) *I added a few, but I didn't notice too many missing ones; in fact, I found there were a few I duplicated. Do you see any other specific ones I missed? --Colinmcev 06:15, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 146) **The section "Relationships" is completely unsourced. Also, while a good deal of the behind-the-scenes section is self-sourcing, some unsourced statements remain. Please provide citations. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:35, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 147) *** Atarumaster88 took care of it for me. Its sourced correctly now. --Colinmcev 02:09, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 148) ****"Galaxies also possesses several other continuity errors." – Please make a footnote describing some, or lose the sentence. It reads somewhat POVish, also. Everything else checks out. Graestan ( Talk ) 22:43, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 149) *****I've reworded that, making mention of the beloved Chertyl Ruluwoor. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 08:43, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 150) According to CUSWE, Zekka Thyne made use of Bossk when confronting Corran in the cantina on Coruscant. Bossk is not specified in Wedge's Gamble, but a Trandoshan is. If this is Bossk, it should be mentioned. Anyone have NEGtC as one possible source to check? Sorry this is nebulous. I will see what I can find myself also. --Eyrezer 12:47, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 151) *I can say with absolute certainty that the Trandoshan is just some henchman and not Bossk. Not only because I just looked back in Wedge's Gamble and it doesn't mention Bossk by name, but also because since Bossk is the bounty hunter that killed Corran Horn's father, Corran definitely would have known it was him when he confronted him. --Colinmcev 13:59, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 152) **I was surprised at the CUSWE's mention of that for precisely those reasons. I'd checked WG myself before posting above. I've since checked both the NEGtC and the FF, which would be a likely source for Vitas' info. I emailed him also, but I'm happy to strike, and presume Vitas has just made an error. Aside from that, the article was an enjoyable read, nicely polished. --Eyrezer 04:33, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 153) ***Thanks! --Colinmcev 08:14, 9 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 19:03, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Good to see you're giving this another shot mate, and congrats!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 16:32, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Per Goodwood. Might be worth a mention that he was second on Fey'lya's list, after Arb Skynxnex. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:13, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Good call. --Colinmcev 08:32, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * So was Thyne around during the Rise of the Empire era? He's got the eras tag, but it's not in the infobox? —Xwing328 (Talk) 17:23, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Actually, you're right, that's a mistake. Although he was certainly alive during the Rise of the Empire era, he never appeared in any stories or anything from that time period. I presume that means that tag shouldn't be there, right? I don't remember if it was me who put that there or if it was there before, but in any event, it's gone now. Thanks for pointing that one out. --Colinmcev 08:32, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Colin, the Thrawn parts could still use some beefing up. Please read the following Work In Progress and add as necessary: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/User:Green_tentacle/Notepad#Recall Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:26, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I did some revisions to that section, and added a bit about Sashj in the section before. If you think there are any other parts that need adding or changing, let me know. --Colinmcev 02:46, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I've added a bit more. I think it's sufficiently detailed now, but feel free to mess around with the wording or whatever. Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:03, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
 * From Fiolli: Personally, while not an objection by any means, I prefer Legacy to Post-death as a subheading. Just a thought to mull over. Nice work turning this article around, Colinmcev.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:51, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * As I navigate Wookieepedia, I'm finding most pages have Legacy over Post-Death, plus it does just sound better. I changed it. And thanks! --Colinmcev 17:49, 12 March 2008 (UTC)