Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rivoche Tarkin


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Rivoche Tarkin

 * Nominated by: jSarek 08:22, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I present to you Voren Na'al's wife!

(2 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) I would have tried this myself, but I lacked some sources. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:56, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Really watch your linking and formatting though. I had to fix a lot of stuff.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:48, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:54, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Fascinating... uh, provided the other objections are addressed, of course. Thefourdotelipsis 01:17, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Seeing as how at some point, I did give this a read-through and don't recall finding anything.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 07:53, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) -- 1358  (Talk) 18:53, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy and more WEG stuff
 * 2) * Early years: Context on Grand Vizier.
 * 3) **CRO doesn't provide any more context. While it's reasonable to assume it's Sate Pestage, the book doesn't say it.
 * 4) * Extraction: You said that Vader recommended Sollaine (1st paragraph) and later that Vader was a rival of Sollaine (4th paragraph). Firstly: Why did Vader recommend his rival for that job in first place? Second: If Vader and Sollaine were indeed rivals, this deserves a mention in the 1st paragraph.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * Strange formatting under BtS; italics where there shouldn't be any and vice versa. Have a look.
 * 7) **Yeah, caught that after I posted. Should all be cleared up now.
 * 8) * Rivoche's main image was also used for a "Generic arrogant noble PC" in at least some WEG books. This merits either a BtS mention about it (including credit to the artist of the image), or even adding more information from the "noble" PC that might be Rivoche.
 * 9) **Info added. I don't think going into detail about the noble there provides any useful information regarding Rivoche, though, since other than the picture and Rebel tendencies, they have little in common.
 * 10) * The Thrawn Trilogy Sourcebook re-uses text from Heir to the Empire Sourcebook, Dark Force Rising Sourcebook and The Last Command Sourcebook. Have you confirmed that Rivoche is not mentioned in any of these?
 * 11) **As far as I can tell, Rivoche is only mentioned in the introduction to the TTSB, which was newly created for that book.
 * 12) * Careful with using two successive footnotes to the same reference. Only the last one is needed, and the other only clogs the page. I've editted some myself, but please confirm there are none I could have missed.
 * 13) **Actually, those were on purpose; I was specifically trying to make sure that if a sentence was created from two or more sources, that both were cited for that sentence.
 * 14) *This was a nom I've been eager to see for a long time! Thank you very much! Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:00, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **My pleasure; I've been wanting to tackle Rivoche for quite some time. jSarek 09:46, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) The Grand Master
 * 17) *"After her father's death, she lived with her uncle, where she came to question&hellip;" The "where" doesn't really work here, unless you specify exactly where her uncle lived.
 * 18) *No link for the Imperial/Milennium Falcon battle at the Liberator?
 * 19) *Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:36, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 21) *Just a couple of things. First, in the intro, it'd be good to have context on a few of the items mentioned: New Order, Biggs Darklighter, Airen Cracken (it's unclear he's a Rebel), Cavv and Arkel (perhaps note they are Alliance ops or something)
 * 22) *Ditto with context for New Order in the body.
 * 23) *The final sentence of the first paragraph of "Early life" seems to repeat a lot of info from the previous sentence (cruelty around her, etc.). Can these two sentences be merged perhaps?
 * 24) *Context on CompForce.
 * 25) *Should that be Historian Corps?
 * 26) *"Just prior to her engagement party to Caglio on Corulag, the Empire uncovered evidence of a deep-cover operative in the form of highly encrypted datafiles, and Emperor Palpatine considered locating this operative of paramount importance." This sentence seems a bit unclear. Does this mean that the Empire found encrypted datafiles that pointed to the existence of a spy in their midst? Is the locating of the operative of paramount importance, or is the operative of paramount importance?
 * 27) *The article is vague on dates, which is understandable, but there are a few events for which we have firm dates that could be used to give the timeline a bit more concreteness. For example, the assignment of Vader to Executor has a firm date, I believe.
 * 28) *Na'al is mentioned early on and then doesn't come back up again until after her extraction. Could you remind us again of his full name and who he is?
 * 29) *"Rivoche was displeased to learn that Na'al was leaving on a special mission on behalf of Mon Mothma to Exocron in 19 ABY..." Which Na'al, Voren or Gideon? Top-notch work. I enjoyed it. ~ SavageBob 16:01, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) Toprawa:
 * 31) *The intro could use an expansion. Relative to the rest of the article body, it could probably be two moderately-sized paragraphs. Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:22, May 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I fixed the instance of "son" in the intro. I'll give it a more thorough read-through tomorrow, as I'm off to bed.  But I figured I'd point that out as there might be some more erroneous instances of Rivoche being referred to as a "he."  Or that might be the only one.  Either way.  Trak Nar  Ramble on 09:11, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks. When I saw that, I couldn't believe I'd made such a silly mistake in the first place. Thanks for clearing it up. jSarek 09:47, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is there any reason why you don't refer to Pestage by name? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:53, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * Bah, never mind. I missed that objection above. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:54, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

 * 1) Unaddressed objections since May 4.  CC7567  (talk) 08:13, May 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) I'm sad to do this, but it has been over three weeks. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 18:14, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Per Fiolli.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 18:20, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 18:22, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:22, May 29, 2010 (UTC)