Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Yeeru Chivkyrie


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Yeeru Chivkyrie

 * Nominated by:  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  09:06, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: About 1,080 words

(6 Inqs/1 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Not terribly exciting, but good for a small character.  —Xwing328 (Talk) 18:46, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 23:53, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Pending correction of GT's objections.  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:53, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 18:40, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:37, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Lord Hydronium 18:32, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * Mention Slanni and Vokkoli going to Shelkonwa with him and Leia. They're mentioned during his earlier meeting with them and then that they left the planet but you don't establish them being there in the first place. It's been a while since I read it, but was there a meeting between them all (including Leia) aboard his ship before they went to the planet?
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * He decided to find a job for Leia, but you don't say whether she took it.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * Where were they when they saw the housebreakers?
 * 7) **Addressed
 * 8) * "Organa also saw an Adarian child." Where was the child?
 * 9) **Addressed
 * 10) * "The Rebel leader's plan was to snap a pipe by shooting at its mountings." What pipe?
 * 11) **Addressed
 * 12) * "Then, she intended to place the pipe's end on the other roof and slip down to confront the criminals." What other roof?
 * 13) **Addressed by FourDot during his copyedit
 * 14) * "After the first shots, Chivkyrie saw the housebreakers running away and Organa went back into the house." Her first shots at the pipe?
 * 15) **Addressed
 * 16) * He hid in the catacombs but what did Leia do?
 * 17) **Addressed
 * 18) *It mostly just needs a little bit more detail on his and Leia's time on Shelkonwa. There's lots happening but little detail on each bit. The above should do it. Otherwise, good article. Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:23, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thank you for the review, GT. Please let me know if anything else is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:02, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 21) * "was informed about Organa's whereabouts and started to search for her, Chivkyrie split up with her and hid in Shelkonwa's catacombs. " (Intro) Wording is kind of awkward.
 * 22) **Changed it. Take a look if it's better now.
 * 23) * Contextify his two comrades on first mention. Are they Adarian?
 * 24) **Addressed
 * 25) ***I added context to the main body also. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *That's all. GT covered most of the rest. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:41, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Thank you for the review, Ataru, and please let me know if anything else is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:16, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) Stuff:
 * 29) * "Being speechless in the first moment, she accepted the job." - I'm not sure who "she" is, and it's an awkward sentence construction anyway.
 * 30) **Addressed
 * 31) * "The next day, Chivkyrie lost all his confidence" and "Organa...encouraged him" - I'm not sure what he lost confidence in and what she encouraged him about. (Actually, reading later, it seems it was about the whole notion of the Rebel Alliance; this could be clarified.) - Lord Hydronium 21:08, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, Lord Hydronium, and please let me know if anything else is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  12:36, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *** Neither are changed. I think you might have done CC's and forgot about these, or else the edit didn't save. - Lord Hydronium
 * 34) ****Saved now.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  18:12, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Attack of the Clone
 * 36) * Body needs to include that he was a male Adarian; it's currently only mentioned in the intro.
 * 37) **Addressed
 * 38) * "Chivkyrie and Organa were a conversation": please check this; it doesn't make sense.
 * 39) **Addressed
 * 40) *Looks good otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 08:13, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thank you for the review, CC7567, and please let me know if anything else is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  10:28, 2 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

When you nominate an article for Featured status, don't forget to add the template. -- Darth tom  (Imperial Intelligence)  14:02, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Many thanks to User:Master Jonathan for copyediting the article.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  09:06, 16 April 2009 (UTC)
 * I won't forget it next time. Thanks that you added the template for me, Darth tom.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:16, 30 April 2009 (UTC)