User talk:Master Jonathan

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Archives:
 * Welcome
 * January 24 – April 29, 2009
 * May 6 – June 18, 2009
 * June 24 – August 28, 2009
 * August 29 – November 19, 2009
 * November 21, 2009 – February 5, 2010

Rawk
Could you please do a copy-edit and give objections to the article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:46, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections: Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:34, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Skywalker scouted the Rim for a planet": What "Rim"? There's the Inner Rim, Mid Rim, and Outer Rim.
 * That's the problem, the comic does not say which one.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * "and when Princess Fel explained that Rae was a Knight": Again, what kind of Knight? Jedi or Imperial?
 * Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * In the BTS, way too many sentences start with "Rawk". Please change several.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * The intro could use some shortening. Try for two paragraphs that are both the same length as or slightly shorter than the current first paragraph.
 * How about now?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * You may have misunderstood me. All I see is a change in where the paragraph break is. Try to remove about four to five sentences of extra detail, such as "Later, Skywalker told Rawk of his recent exploits, and Rawk told Skywalker about his mother, Morrigan Corde, when the former Jedi mentioned that he had met her." The intro is the place to summarize the major highlights, not for little details like that. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:24, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I did. How does it look now?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 05:46, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks OK to me, though the Inqs might want it a little shorter. Good job. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 23:59, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for you help, Jon.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:04, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Asaak Dan
Could you please do a copy-edit and provide objections and a word-count for the article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:07, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections: 1,212 words currently. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:02, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Dan ignited his lightsaber and crossed lightsabers with the Imperial Knights,": "Lightsaber" is repetitive.
 * Changed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:01, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Actually, that's it. :)
 * Once again, thanks for you work.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:01, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good now. :) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 00:44, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Vydel Dir'Nul
Hey Jon, could you please do the usual terms for this article? Last copyedit, for now&hellip; Since she's got two personalities, it was a little tricky for me, but I think I managed to pull it off.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:34, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * And yes, I plan on getting quotes, images, and killing that red link.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:38, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. I have no objections. :) 1,044 words. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:18, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added another opening quote, and a quote for the P&T. Also killed the redlink. Thanks for all your help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:29, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Cay
Cool, thanks MJ. :)  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:40, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

You deserve this&hellip;
Thanks for all the copy-edits and reviews. I probably won't have any more articles for you for a while, considering I've now got six articles waiting to be FA nominated. But then there's always the GA's, isn't there?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:43, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Why, thank you! :D Keep in mind, though, that there's also a limit on GA noms now (four). Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing more of your articles in the future. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:50, February 13, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine and Samuro
Could I have the usual terms for both of these articles, please? I believe they are under the 1,000 word limit, but I wanna be sure. Thanks for all your help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:06, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections to Rajine:
 * "Rajine employed Samuro's droid, Z-18, into her service.": Wording here is awkward, please reword.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:42, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * "and employed his droid, Z-18, into her service.": Ditto.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:42, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Both of these problems still remain. The problem phrase is "employed the droid into her service." &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:27, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * I think I got it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:33, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good now. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:21, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Objections to Samuro:
 * "Samuro imprisoned Rajine on a remote world and used the Force to raise a barrier over the world. Samuro sacrificed himself to imprison Rajine and the victims of her life-draining powers.": These two sentences are partially repetitive.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:42, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine is 762 words; Samuro is 672 words. Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:50, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:42, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Talk page warnings
Please take a little more care to watch how you word "warnings" you issue to other users on this wiki. Telling people they "will be blocked by an administrator" for something as minor as an MOS violation that is probably nothing more than a user's misunderstanding of site guidelines is really not your call to make, and it certainly comes off as antagonizing and uncivil considering you don't represent the Wookieepedia administration. Try to be a little more tactful and diplomatic when dealing with minor problems of this sort. If you feel such a warning needs to be issued, the best thing for you to do is approach an administrator on their talk page or come onto IRC and let them take appropriate action. Thank you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:53, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

TCSWE request
Could you give the entrys of CT-3423 and CT-65/91-6210 ? I'll probably work on this articles. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:44, February 28, 2010 (UTC)


 * CT-3423: "The clone trooper who helped Commander Neyo track down and kill Jedi Master Stass Allie on Saleucami during Order 66."
 * CT-65/91-6210 : "A clone trooper commander assigned to the 327th Star Corps as leader of K Company, he was a veteran of Geonosis, Altyr V, Orto, and Cato Neimoidia."

That's it. Let me know if you have any more questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 16:28, February 28, 2010 (UTC)


 * Yes could you give me the entry's from both troopers in Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic in Star Wars Insider 84 (Deviss) and Order 66: Destroy all Jedi in Star Wars Insider 87 (CT-3423)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:15, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic:
 * COMMANDER DEVISS CT 65/91-6210: "Commander Deviss was flash-trained as a Captain and assigned to the 327th Star Corps as leader of K Company. During the Battle of Geonosis, his battalion (Hawkbat) was ordered to march directly into the withering fire os a Separatist spider droid column. Hawkbat was almost completely wiped out, and Deviss risked his life to stay behind in a shallow bomb crater, tending to two critically injured soldiers. For three hours, he defended their position as monstrous spider droids passed overhead. At last, the casevac team arrived. His men were rescued, and Deviss received an medal and a new command.
 * "At the brutal Battle of Altyr V, Deviss' Jedi General was vaporized by enemy fire, leaving Deviss to improvise a new plan of attack. Not only did he rally the remaining companies, but he also destroyed a Separatist ion cannon emplacement, opening the battlefield to aerial bombardment and winning the day for the Republic. For this act of bravery and initiative, ARC Commander Bly promoted Deviss to Commander. Deviss was allowed to don the red ARC pauldron and kama, as well as the special macrobinocular helmet attachment."

Order 66: Destroy All Jedi:
 * INCIDENT REPORT #890-D: TERMINATION section: "Commander Neyo (CC-8826) and CT-3423, accompanying Allie on speeder bike reconnaissance, received Order 66 and fired on the Jedi with the cannons of the BARC speeders operated by the 91st [Reconnaissance Corps]. Several blasts hit the rear of Allie's Aratech 74-Z speeder bike, igniting its reactor and sending it into a fatal crash."

&mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:02, March 1, 2010 (UTC)


 * Thank you very much. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:55, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Just one final thing. Could you give me the info about CT-55/11-9009 from the "Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic" - Star Wars Insider 84 and Order 66: Destroy All Jedi ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:03, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic:
 * CAPTAIN "JAG" JAI'GALAAR CT 55/11-9009: "part of the famed CT-5 batch, then-Commander Jai'galaar proved to be an able an aggressive pilot. But his destiny was to lead not to fly. He commanded the 127th Gunship Wing at Geonosis but was demoted and disgraced during the tragic Retreat at Katraasii. But his bravery and talent were recognized by General Plo Koon, who drafted the Captain as a test pilot for the new ARC-170 fighters. Jag took to the craft with gusto and turned Incom's odd snub-nose into a fierce war machine. Jag was flying wingman for Plo Koon, heading an ARC Wing over Cato Neimoidia, when Order 66 was given. Despite his feelings for the Jedi General, Captain Jag did his duty."

Order 66: Destroy All Jedi:
 * INCIDENT REPORT #890-A: TERMINATION section: "Accompanying Koon on aerial patrol of Cato Neimoidia's bridge cities, Jag (CT-55/11-9009) and CT-57/11-9048 received Order 66 and fired several shots from the wing cannons of the ARC-170 starfighters belonging to the 127th [Gunship Wing]. Multiple laser hits sent Koon's Jedi starfighter plunging into the heart of the bridge city, destroying a clone staging area (see casualty reports labeled CT-8770 through CT-8910)."

&mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:32, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

re:signature
hey thanks for the warning i deleted the link to contribs but in preferences i already have subst set as SUBST:User:Asdf1239/autosig, should i change it to something else ASDF1239 Discussion 03:19, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * ive pasted the raw signature code onto User:Asdf1239/autosig, thx ASDF1239 Chiss Ascendancy.svg Discussion 03:30, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Celchu Trial
Two users have recommend that I would ask you to copy-edit Celchu Trial article so that is what I'm doing now. Please, take a look at it.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:50, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Alright, I've given the article a complete copy-edit. For future reference, the two biggest problems I found were not using commas and articles when needed. I believe Finnish is a language that does not use articles, so you might want to read Article (grammar) and English articles; as far as commas, WikiHow has a good guide here. (I am working on my own comma guide on a subpage here, but it's nowhere near complete.) Anyway, let me know if you have any questions. Thanks. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:16, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thanks a lot! You're right: Finnish language does not use articles nor it has prepositions. We use affixation to express that so I'm well aware that those are my major problems when writing in English. Someone should create a spell check that finds the missing articles and I would be the first in line to get it ;) Thanks again. That was a big help.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 08:32, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Taquito
Thank you for your info, Jon. Could you give Taquito a copy-edit? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. If you have any questions, let me know. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:13, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yep. Is there any info about him in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:28, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nothing in the CSWE, since the episode aired two months after it was published. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:42, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:23, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Query
I'm working on Traavis' article, and was wondering if I should put a P&A section in for him. I know this is normally required, but in the story Orders, he does not display any abilities or Force powers. I might be able to say he used a lightsaber, but in the aforementioned story, he reached for it and is killed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:57, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, both the FAN (#15) and GAN (#14) rules state that a P&A is required "where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated." If the story does not give any info regarding powers or abilities, then I would say that a P&A would not be required in that situation. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:48, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * OK, then, thanks for the help.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:41, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Traavis
Could you please perform the usual terms for this article? Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:41, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Whoops, somehow this got lost in the flurry of messages over the last few days. Anyway, here you go: Let me know if you have any questions. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:15, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * First, a note for the future: the correct spelling is "Sep a ratist". I fixed several instances where it was spelled "Seperatist" instead.
 * Thanks.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * "the Jedi Knight served as a General": Since you have yet to identify anyone as a Jedi in the bio, it's not clear who this refers to. Either identify Traavis explicitly here, or identify him as a Jedi in the previous sentence.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * "during the Separatist's sieges of the Outer Rim,": The Outer Rim Sieges article says that the Republic was the one conducting the sieges. Please determine which one is correct and fix the other article, since it's probably not a good idea to have two articles that contradict each other.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * I don't see any change on either article. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:34, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Forgot to make the changes in the Bio. Changed, and the Outer Rim Sieges article is correct.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * "Traavis led a five-month campaign against the Cassandran Worlds of Monhudle, New Bakstre, and Biitu. Traavis and his troops eventually captured the planet Garqi," The shift from the Cassandran Worlds campaign to the capture of Garqi is too abrupt; please try to make the transition smoother.
 * Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * The intro was fine; I was referring to the bio. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:34, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Since the character's species and gender is already given in the infobox, intro, and body, I feel it's unnecessary to also start the P&T with it.
 * While I agree with you, the Inqs and Agricorps usually want me to list these traits in the P&T.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * I still disagree, but I'll let it go if the Inq and AC prefer it that way. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:34, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Currently 680 words.
 * Looks like it's headed for the GAs, then.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your assistance.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:27, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Looks good now. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)