Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Brianna


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Brianna

 * Nominated by: 21:23, 4 January 2009 (UTC-8)
 * Nomination comments: First GA attempt! Hope it's up to the test!

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Cylka  -talk- 22:42, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:40, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 01:57, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 08:25, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Not bad for a first attempt. Hopefully you try FA. DC 02:51, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One: Consider these to be preliminary objections; deal with these, and then I will read the actual article.
 * 2) * Infobox is unsourced.
 * 3) * Many paragraphs in the main body and Bts are unsourced.
 * 4) * Poorly placed quote in main body of article - should be at the top under a section heading.
 * 5) * Turn the bulleted list in the Cut content section into prose. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:33, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ** Cylka and NaruHina have graciously taken care of these, I'll get on the others today. 23:03, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Cylka:
 * 8) * In the P&T I would include more about her fascination with Jedi and their relics, knowledge, etc. This would play a big role in why she became the historian after Atris. The Exile has a long conversation with her about this stuff. I would also include something about her thinking that individual identity isn't important, only the whole, her oaths, etc. It plays a big part in why she finally decides to be Brianna and not just one of the Handmaidens.
 * 9) * I would put the whole Darth Nihilus inconsistency in Bts and maybe expand on it a bit.
 * 10) * I would expand on the Visas and Brianna competition for the male Exile in Bts. You can look at the Visas Marr article to get an idea about it.
 * 11) * The cut content could be expanded a bit more also and it needs to be sourced. Again you can look at Visas and the Team Gizka cut content web site. If you need help with sourcing the game dialog files let me know and I can help with that.
 * 12) * Maybe put something in about the Echani etiquette rituals and what that might mean to Brianna sparring with the male Exile. Atton and Brianna have a funny cut-scene about it. Kreia also mentions something about what would happen if Brianna completely submitted to the male Exile during their sparring.
 * 13) *Its looking good. If you need some help, let me know. Cylka  -talk- 16:06, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Done! 07:15, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) From the scratchpad of Atarumaster88
 * 16) * Excessive linking really needs cleaned up. It's just . . . ugh. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:13, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Could you point out the section(s) you think are problematic? I haven't really noticed that as a problem, but then again, I'm unsure as to what an ideal number of links would be. I'll get on it as soon as I know where the problem is. 22:37, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I think I can clear up the issue. The way linking works is that an item is linked upon first mention in the intro, upon first mention in the infobox (if applicable), upon first mention in an image caption (again, where applicable), and on first mention in the main body/P&T/P&A/BtS. So, for example, if you linked to Atris in the main body of the article (biography), there would not be another link to Atris in the Personality and traits section. Cheers. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:28, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **** Got it. As always, thanks for the feedback Ataru, I'll work on that immediately. 01:36, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **** I think I fixed the problem! Let me know if there's anything else! 01:53, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) From the full-fledged desk of Atarumaster88
 * 22) *" After Kreia revealed her true intentions" Context? What are those intentions?
 * 23) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 24) * The intro should state that Brianna's post TSL future was only a prediction by Kreia, and not state it as fact.
 * 25) **Done.
 * 26) * "Although it was confirmed that Brianna accompanied the Exile during her travels, in the game itself, she would only accompany the Exile if the player was male. Otherwise, she would be replaced by Mical" This doesn't make sense and seems to be missing a reference. KotOR II certainly didn't confirm that Brianna traveled with the female Exile.
 * 27) **Added refs.
 * 28) * "to become a very skilled and powerful Jedi Guardian." POV
 * 29) **Gone. Cylka  -talk- 21:53, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:31, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Cav's continued squadron briefing:
 * 32) * Context on who Yusanis is in the first paragraph would be appreciated.
 * 33) * Clarification is need to show that her sisters were not the children of Arren Kae as well is needed; it currently reads that she and her sisters shared the same parents.
 * 34) * You describe Atris as "corrupted" in the final section of the bio, but do not explain why she fell.
 * 35) *Good work otherwise. Keep it up! - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:14, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) **Ok, I think I've taken care of these! 01:46, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) DC
 * 38) * "Eventually the Jedi Exile attempted to get to know her" Starting a paragraph off with eventually is a bad way to start it off. Try to see if you can reword it.
 * 39) *Does Brianna's nicknames need to be in quotation marks? I can understand it in the Bio, just not in the intro.
 * 40) *"Following this revelation" You never stated anything about a revelation before. Do you mean the revelation that the Jedi Order discovered Arren Kae's forbidden relationship?
 * 41) *"which is why they were all called handmaidens." Reword. Doesn't sound like an encyclopedic sentence to me.
 * 42) *Great Job. You should try FA when this passes. DC 03:27, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) **Done! 02:36, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) The Note of Death
 * 45) * I finally got around to reviewing this and I have no idea why this was missed. Brianna never travelled with a female Exile, no amount of 100% completion will change that. It still calls the Exile a woman but she only travels with a male Exile. Kill the Travels with the Exile section and I'll read it more in-depth. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:00, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) **There's a source mentioned in Behind the Scenes that confirms Brianna still traveled with the female Exile. 02:06, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ***Alright, alright. More to come later.

Comments
 * New nominations go at the end of the list, not inserted in between pre-existing nominations. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:24, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I'm REALLY sorry about that, I did have it at the bottom of the list when I was editing, but I left for a while and when I hit save, there was another entry that had been submitted, and I guess mine just got inserted in between. Sorry again! 22:53, 4 January 2009 (UTC-8)

AgriCorps motion to strike objection by NaruHina
 * 1) Clearly did not read the article before making the objection, which is the only thing holding it up.  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:25, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I'm already on it, and I did read the article, I just missed that in the Bts. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:53, 18 January 2009 (UTC)