Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kharys


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Cull Tremayne 00:51, 14 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Yes. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:35, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:35, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:21, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) How did I miss seeing this nomination? Jeez :S Very good read, Cull.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:50, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 02:47, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7)  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:34, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * If she met Anakin Skywalker during the Clone Wars, the article needs a Imp era tag, as does the infobox.
 * 3) **Done. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Link "Separatist" in the intro for me.
 * 5) **Linked. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * This suggests that the beings of Skye do not walk, as opposed to Humans. Please clarify what this means: "Although nearly all S'kytri were prejudiced against "walkers,""
 * 7) **Clarified that it's the derogatory term for those without wings. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Please confirm that Anakin was indeed a Knight at this point in the Clone Wars: "During an interaction with the Jedi Knight"
 * 9) **Good catch. Changed to Jedi Commander. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Avoid finishing both clauses with the same word: "Although Skywalker tried to convince Kenobi to take Kharys for training, Kenobi and Ventor both agreed that 13 years old was much too old to take for training."
 * 11) **Changed. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Should specify that she was trained in the dark side of the Force: "Vader trained Kharys in the ways of the Force"
 * 13) **I'm not so sure that's warranted. I do mention that she succumbs to the dark side at the end of the paragraph, so it just seems a bit redundant to add it there as well. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Yeah, you're fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * I believe you're trying to say "aerial fortress" here, but just making sure it's not some kind of special IU word. If it is not, please remove the hyphen, unless the text specifically spells it as 'aerial-fortress'.: "aerie-fortress"
 * 16) **"Aliens in the Empire" specifically says "aerie-fortress". "ruling in the name of Vader and the Galactic Empire from her aerie-fortress perched high atop Canaitith Mountain." It's probably referring to this line from the comic, "One Boy?! My Aerie gutted and ruined by one--wingless--boy?!?" There's a couple other references in the comic that say "aerie", as well. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Explain what the "windborn" is : "the windborn could do nothing to stop her."
 * 18) **Mmm...not so sure about this one. From the context it's showing that "windborn" is another name for S'kytri. Added an explanation, but I think it reads awkwardly. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) ***Agreed that it is now kind of awkward sounding. Not an objection, but consider just removing the Windborn descriptor in this case. And, if you do that, you'll probably need to either add a description somewhere earlier that her race was known as the Windborn, or remove the second use of the term further down in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ****I went with explaining the term in the first section. Cull Tremayne 02:39, 17 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * I'm clearly too lazy to do this research myself, but I'm certain the Millennium Falcon has more than one lifepod. If so, rephrase accordingly: "in the Falcon's lifepod."
 * 22) **Changed to "one of the Falcon's lifepods." Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * Before this sentence, "Bringing Solo and Chewbacca back to her fortress keep," you never actually say that Solo, and Chewbacca for that matter, was captured, just that they were trapped and shot down, and that Skywalker and Organa escaped. Please clarify.
 * 24) **Clarified. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ***Nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * Seemingly Skywalker should not have this ability at such an early stage, but please clarify what's going on here: "and the two began to duel in midair."
 * 27) **Did I not mention the grav-belt thingy? He's not using the Force to fly. Clarified in an earlier sentence that he was flying over the stormtroopers. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ***Ah, I didn't take into account the anti-grav deal. The clarification helps. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * Along with that, this seems strange. If they're fighting in midair, he could only be frozen in midair, right? Maybe a rewording and/or elaboration somewhere along these two lines: "freezing him in midair"
 * 30) **Changed the second "midair" to "place". Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Now that you clarified for me what was going on, you can change it back to midair if you like that better. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * You capitalize Windborn here, but do not do so previously. Pick one, which the correct format is, and stick with it for consistency: "The Windborn" Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:16, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) **Typo. Changed to capitalization. Cull Tremayne 08:28, 16 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) The first mention of the prophecy makes it sound like it's something new, but you say it's ancient later. Clarify the age the first time. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:19, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) *Removed "ancient". Not sure why I wrote that. Cull Tremayne 09:35, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) The BtS says she is purported to be appearing in Vader's Legacy, but the Appearances section lists it as fact. Please rectify. The BtS note should also be sourced. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:17, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) *Done. Cull Tremayne 02:46, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 19:19, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Ditto. Cull Tremayne 00:51, 14 February 2008 (UTC)