Ebareebaveebeedee

"Greetings, ill-favored stranger ones! The Illustrious Chieftain of Junkyards, Commander of the Thrifty, King Ebareebaveebeedee bids you welcome to his Momship."

- Ebareebaveebeedee's honor guard welcoming visitors

Ebareebaveebeedee was the Squib king of Skor II from the last decades of the Galactic Republic into the time of the Galactic Empire and the Galactic Civil War. An adamant supporter of the Republic, Ebareebaveebeedee publicly proclaimed to the galaxy in the midst of the wave of secessions that formed the Separatist Crisis that the Squibs would not leave the Republic at any cost. When the Clone Wars broke out, Ebareebaveebeedee found his world under attack by the forces of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. Skor II was liberated by Jedi Master Mace Windu, and following the battle the king bestowed Windu with the honorary title "Big Time Hero of Beyond-Squib Eliteness" in a public ceremony.

Ebareebaveebeedee adapted to the rise of the Galactic Empire following the Clone Wars, making a deal with the Empire that stationed Squibs as laborers on Imperial ships, who were then able to pass on the sites of good salvage operations to their fellow Squibs. In this time Ebareebaveebeedee kept his throne on the Squib Momship Thrifty. When the Empire bombarded Dankayo, the king struck a deal with Rebel agents traveling in the shuttle Bonderium, who sought to recover vital Rebel intelligence from the Imperial transport ship Elusive. In exchange for the coordinates of the Elusive, Ebareebaveebeedee wanted them to steal a gravity well projector from the Squibs' archenemies, the Ugors, an act that would drive the Ugors into chaos that the Squibs could take advantage of. The crew of the Bonderium was successful, and in the wake of their victory Ebareebaveebeedee declared an alliance of his government with the Rebellion.

The Clone Wars
"Our ultrastrong loyalties and royalties to Republicness and whatever it may stand for will not let splitty-types coax-haggle Squibbish into leaving, no matter the size of the haggleprize."

- Ebareebaveebeedee, on the Separatist Crisis

Ebareebaveebeedee became the king of the Squib Polyanarchy at some time before 40 BBY. The monarch was the sole authority over a number of distant, scattered communities that made up the Polyanarchy, and was a revered ruler, raising the Squibs to levels of prosperity they had never experienced before. In 22 BBY, as the Galactic Republic was being wracked with a wave of secessions in the Separatist Crisis, Ebareebaveebeedee made three Grand Proclamations from the capital of Metrobig City over the course of three days. In his second, the Squib king declared the Jedi Order to be "koovy". He followed this up the next day with a twenty-minute address on Skor II's loyalty to the Galactic Senate and Republic. Ebareebaveebeedee was emphatic in his statement that the Squibs were "going nowhere", insisting that no matter how much was offered by the secessionists, his people were too loyal to the Republic to be coaxed into leaving it. At the close of his twenty minutes, Ebareebaveebeedee bargained for another six minutes of airtime, which he used to add "You bet."

Despite the attempts of Ebareebaveebeedee and others to hold the Republic together, the secessionist crisis eventually resulted in the Clone Wars. A year and a half after the King's Grand Proclamation, Skor II was invaded by the Confederacy of Independent Systems, who intended to use the world as a base to plant proximity mines along the Rimma Trade Route. Jedi Master Mace Windu led the Republic counterattack, freeing the Metrobig Interplanetary Blastport from the Confederacy's battle droids. After the battle, Ebareebaveebeedee, in honor of Windu's exploits in the battle, declared him an honorary Big Time Hero of Beyond-Squib Eliteness and revealed a bronzium statue of Windu to a crowd of joyous Squibs. Ebareebaveebeedee then made a speech declaring that Windu's actions would be remembered throughout Squib history. Windu had left Skor II by this time, leaving behind a clone trooper contingent to guard against future Confederate activity, and the Jedi Council made no comment on Ebareebaveebeedee's ceremony.

The Galactic Civil War
"So, dealers with abridged decks, we of Lofty Squib greet you in name of universal buddy-buddiness, irrespectful of differences in station, no less."

- Ebareebaveebeedee greets a group of Rebels

Ebareebaveebeedee remained king as the Republic gave way to the Galactic Empire. The king eventually made a deal with the new government in which Squibs would serve aboard Imperial starships doing menial labor tasks&mdash;an arrangement the Empire considered to be slavery&mdash;and in return, unknown to the Empire, the Squibs would surreptitiously send messages to the Squib Reclamation Fleet giving the locations of Imperial dumping grounds. The Squibs would then salvage these dumping grounds for any useful material. Styled "Illustrious Chieftain of Junkyards", Ebareebaveebeedee was in this time commander of the Thrifty, the Squib Momship and the seat of his throne. The king's throne itself was made from the cockpit of a Z-95 Headhunter, and it was located in an audience chamber decorated with baubles and a mural composed of Imperial tax stamps. He wore a collection of garbage passed down between generations of kings, all items of which he was forbidden by High-Squibbian Law to use.

At some point after the Battle of Yavin, the Empire attacked a Rebel base on the planet Dankayo. The Imperial transport Elusive was left behind to perform mop-up operations, only to be interrupted by the arrival of the shuttle Bonderium, under the control of a group of Rebels. After a brief battle, the Elusive dumped its garbage and fled into hyperspace; the Thrifty, which had been alerted to the location of the trash dump by their Squib agent aboard the Elusive, Dono, arrived shortly thereafter and began gathering trash from the departed Imperial vessel. Within moments, a Black Hole-class salvage dreadnought belonging to the Ugor&mdash;a species with a long rivalry with the Squibs&mdash;arrived as well and began attacking both vessels. It was not interested in destroying them, though, only holding them off long enough to collect trash for itself, and it soon fled.

The Thrifty had been monitoring the earlier battle between the Rebels and Imperials, had detected that the Bonderium was not Imperial, and had learned from the Rebel vessel's scans of the Elusive trajectory that its passengers had an interest in locating the Imperial ship. When a new message from Dono came in, detailing the next stop of the Elusive in code (actually the language Old High Squibbian), the Thrifty relayed the message on an open channel, thereby letting the Rebels know that the Squibs could lead them to the Elusive. The Bonderium made contact with the Thrifty, and after some posturing on the part of the Squibs, the Rebels were invited aboard by the king to make a deal. Ebareebaveebeedee's messengers greeted them at the airlock, and the Rebel party was escorted to the king's audience chamber.

The Rebels, as it turned out, sought a collection of datapacks that the Elusive had taken from Dankayo, which held information on Rebel operations throughout three sectors. They needed to intercept the Elusive before it brought the data to Imperial Intelligence, and after extensive haggling Ebareebaveebeedee made a deal with them. The Rebels would retrieve an unidentified "quest object" from the Paradise system, home of the Ugors. Lacking in any planets, the Paradise system consisted of a motley collection of trash held together by the gravitational forces of a gravity well projector that was once part of the Death Star. Unknown to the Rebels, it was this that Ebareebaveebeedee sought; stealing the projector would throw the Ugors into chaos, a desirable goal to the king. He sent with them a Squib guide, Spilferithimus-narlamos, to identify the object and the cooking droid L9-G8, presented to them as a gift for closing the bargain but actually a practical joke by the king. When the Rebels deactivated and took the projector, the system began to collapse, and the Thrifty, along with a fleet of Squib ships, arrived to scavenge whatever they could from the suddenly-disorganized Ugors. Ebareebaveebeedee hailed the victorious Rebels and invited them aboard again to conclude their deal.

In their absence, the king had had more murals added to his walls, this time of the collapse of the Paradise system, and had invited a Mon Calamari trader to join in his negotiations with the Rebels. Another round of haggling began, eventually ending in the Rebels gaining possession of the coordinates of the Elusive and the projector, which they could use to ambush the ship and pull it from hyperspace. Ebareebaveebeedee sent them on their way with a holographic message to be played only once they had defeated the Elusive and reported to the Alliance. In it, the king announced an alliance between the Rebellion and Squib Polyanarchy, with the Rebels of the Bonderium to serve as ambassadors to the Squibs.

Personality and traits
Ebareebaveebeedee was a traditionalist, holding to the ancient High-Squibbian customs and relying on them over his personal whim. He was fair, had a sense of justice, and honored his word. Ebareebaveebeedee demonstrated this during the Separatist Crisis, when he made a vow of loyalty to the Republic that he promised would not be breached for any price. The king was in turn revered by his people. Though outright lying was forbidden in Squib bargains, Ebareebaveebeedee could conceal the truth when it suited his ends, as when he sent the Rebels to retrieve a gravity well projector for him despite having no interest in the artifact itself, simply the disruptive effect it would have on the Ugors who used it.

Like other Squibs, the king greatly enjoyed haggling, preferring a deal to be as complicated as possible. He was even known to bargain during his political addresses for more airtime. Ebareebaveebeedee also had a sense of humor, found in his giving of impractical gifts during bargains as a joke.

Behind the scenes
Ebareebaveebeedee was created for the Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game adventure Scavenger Hunt, by Brad Freeman, in 1989. He was not mentioned for another 13 years, until Pablo Hidalgo and Paul Ens included him in a HoloNet News entry as part of the buildup to Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. They later used the character again in an entry of HoloNet News, this time set during the Clone Wars and appearing in Star Wars Insider.

"Eebareebaveebeedee" [sic] is included as an example name for Squibs in the Ultimate Alien Anthology, which mentions that it can be shortened to "Eebaree."

Appearances

 * Republic HoloNet News Core Edition 14:9:01
 * Republic HoloNet News Core Edition 14:9:01