Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Tactical droid 1 (Christophsis)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Tactical droid 1 (Christophsis)

 * Nominated by: --Kreivi Wolter 19:58, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Have this article to GA as soon as possible. I will need time to execute the next part of my master's plan.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Mauser  Comlink 08:04, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:13, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:20, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  JangFett  Talk 03:35, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 03:07, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:33, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 22:45, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Badly needs a copyedit for grammar and spelling. I've fixed a lot of it, but you should go over it for good measure.
 * 3) **There's the problem, I'm not a native speaker of English, and I'm not able to speak/write with that perfectly.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ah, I see.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:11, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * Mention that he served in the Retail Caucus, since that's mentioned in the infobox but not anywhere in the article itself.
 * 6) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * " He had leaked the information about the planned ambush to the Separatist's commander and Dark Acolyte Asajj Ventress, who then gave the message to General Whorm Loathsom, who proceeded it to the tactical droid." I don't think "proceeded" is the appropriate word here.
 * 8) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "The Jedi Master and his clones were pinned down, but Skywalker, who was in north tower, signaled a gunship for an evacuation, and then led his clone troopers to help Kenobi along the cables." Doesn't flow well, and what cables? Give context.
 * 10) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "The Republic forces were able to retreat, and took an elevator to the roof, where the gunship was landing. " What gunship? Clarify.
 * 12) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * "While they were attacked by a squad of battle droids, the tactical droid, who had left his tank, led a second squad of battle droids to attack, in order to prevent the retreat of the Republic troops." Doesn't flow well.
 * 14) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * I don't think CC-7567's and CC-2224's nicknames is really necessary.
 * 16) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "The head then scorched, and disabled permanently, defacing any changes of further analyses." I can't really make sense of "The head then scorched", and I don't believe defacing is the appropriate word.
 * 18) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also, how did it disable? Was it damaged previously?
 * 20) ** Gee, I dont really know how to put that... Uuuh, would it be good if I tell that it just deactivated?--Kreivi Wolter 00:43, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I guess.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 05:11, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Later on in the Republic command center, the tactical droid's head was put to a robolobotomy, but it only confirmed that the Separatists had gained information about the positions of Republic ambush squad." Then how could they have found out there was a spy? Clarify.
 * 23) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "After a duel with Asajj Ventress, Skywalker and Kenobi discovered the full strength of the Separatists forces, as they had planned a full-scale invasion and conquest of the planet, and the tactical droid was replaced by another." Skywalker and Kenobi dueling Ventress and the tactical droid being replaced don't flow well together.
 * 25) **Roger roger
 * 26) * "He used his E-5 blaster rifle with comparable skill in battle, and managed to shoot at least one clone trooper during the firefight." I don't think "comparable" is the appropriate word here.
 * 27) **Roger roger.
 * 28) * IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 22:10, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Fett
 * 30) * "They then asked the Jedi High Council for assistance" Whose they? The Confederacy asked the Jedi for assiastance? Also fragment.
 * 31) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Could be somewhat better if "the Christophsians" is added as context for "&hellip;which inhabitants vainly tried to withstand the droid forces", but I'll leave that up to you :)
 * 33) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * "After landing, the Jedi planned to ambush the tactical droid's forces, while they were marching into Crystal City." This sentence doesn't flow right. I don't recall them marching into Crystal City.
 * 35) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***Quite confusing still. "After landing, the Jedi planned to ambush the tactical droid's forces, which were going to march under the towers" The Jedi planned to ambush the tactical droid's forces, which were going to march under the towers? Rephrase.
 * 37) ****Uuuh, I dont know where they were heading. Do you?--Kreivi Wolter 00:53, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) *****Replace the entire sentence with "After landing, the Jedi began an ambush on the towers", or something like that.
 * 39) ******Is it good now?--Kreivi Wolter 10:55, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) *******Much better :)
 * 41) *More to come <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Mauser:
 * 2) * "Galactic Republic sent a GAR detachment, led by Jedi Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker" - sent where and why?
 * 3) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Tactical droid is not the product line, something like IG-series or YT-series is. Thus, I removed that from the infobox.
 * 5) **Roger roger. Thx.--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * The biography quote's link leads to the same audiofile as the main quote.
 * 7) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *** If you use audio files for some quotes, you should do the same for the other two. Either remove the audios for the first two quotes, or ask JMAS for the missing one. Never mid, I've been told that it's not a valid onjection.
 * 9) ****Well, I have already asked JMAS to load it.--Kreivi Wolter 21:50, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****Well, problem fixed by JMAS.--Kreivi Wolter 13:11, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "The Galactic Republic dispatched clone troopers..." - not just clone troopers, but 501st Legion and the Ghost Company.
 * 12) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * There should be no revelations in battle articles. You should mention Slick's betrayal and the data's leaking before you say that the Jedi set up an ambush in the towers.
 * 14) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 21:50, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Split the biography section. The whole last paragraph is completely post-mortern for the droid and should be tagged as such.
 * 16) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Rename it. Aftermath is for the events, Legacy is for Individuals (even droids).
 * 18) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:43, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Actually, the last paragraph contains too much info irrelevant for the droid. Ventress' mission to capture Rotta shouldn't be mentioned at all, for example.
 * 20) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:43, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * Check the video podcast for the Innocents of Ryloth for more info and better sourcing of the tactical droids' charactersitics and traits.
 * 22) **Could you please give me a direct link?--Kreivi Wolter 20:17, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***There.
 * 24) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:31, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * At least something else for the BTS?
 * 26) **Uuuh, the BTS? What's that?--Kreivi Wolter 14:06, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Behind the Scenes. It requires minor expansion.
 * 28) ****Like what? What do you suggest?--Kreivi Wolter 23:31, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) *Roger roger.  Mauser  Comlink 13:07, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) Fett will look once more
 * 31) * In the Legacy section, after the robolobotomy information, is the rest relevant to the tactical droid?
 * 32) **Probably not. I shortened it.--Kreivi Wolter 00:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * P&T-"Like all tactical droids, this droid was far more intelligent than standard battle droids, and was able to think independently." What standard battle droids?
 * 34) **Roger roger--Kreivi Wolter 00:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * Like Mauser said, I believe you can expand the BtS and merge the "TACTICAL" sentence with the preceding paragraph.
 * 36) **I'll ask once more: how? You have any ideas? 'Cause I don't have.--Kreivi Wolter 00:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **I merged it to one paragraph.--Kreivi Wolter 10:34, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***Looks good
 * 39) * JangFett  Talk 23:59, 22 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) Possibly just one of many:
 * 41) * "Thats just doesn't make sense. Blast!" Probably supposed to be "that?" I'd fix it myself, but I'm not quite sure that's what it is.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:02, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) **Uuuuh, now that u mentioned, neither I am.--Kreivi Wolter 00:44, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ***Well, problem fixed by JMAS.--Kreivi Wolter 13:11, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) Attack of the Clone
 * 45) * Please rename "Downfall and legacy". You're taking too much inspiration from character articles by saying he had a "legacy". Furthermore, please make sure the article conforms to the Manual of Style and Layout Guide before taking this any further.
 * 46) **I checked the links, and I didn't find anything which would surrogate the "Downfall and legacy". It was first Aftermath, but Mauser told that "Legacy is for Individuals (even droids)". Do you have a better idea?
 * 47) ***How about something related to the droid, with something to do with the robolobotomy?  CC7567  (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) ****Satisfied now?--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * Since you yourself were the one who originally believed this, please vary "traitor". It's POV-oriented.
 * 50) **According to you, it wasn't last time when we debated about that, and the article is still containing the word. Well, adressed anyway.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * The episode did not give the slightest indication of a date. The "22 BBY" needs to be sourced to the TCW novel.
 * 52) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * Are you absolutely sure that he was affiliated with the Retail Caucus? Yes, the Campaign Guide said as much, but you're still assuming that he was assigned to "help the Retail Caucus". Tactical droids weren't even mentioned anywhere in the Campaign Guide.
 * 54) **Maybe he wasn't a member of Retail Caucus, but he wass still allied with their droid forces.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ***Regardless of whether he was a member or not, my objection about the speculative wording still stands.  CC7567  (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * In the first paragraph of the Bio, there is too much irrelevant detail. All you need to say of the first campaigns of the battle was that the Confederacy invaded Christophsis and that Skywalker and Kenobi arrived on behalf of the Republic to liberate it. The details of the preliminaries and Slick's views are unnecessary.
 * 58) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * You're missing a lot of definite articles, i.e. "the", "an", "a". I'd prefer if you improved your English this way.
 * 60) **Ah, yes, that problem. I would really appreciate help with that, as I'm not able to write perfect English. I'm trying to fix them, though.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * Source for the involvement of 501st Legion and Ghost Company in the battle? Nowhere are they mentioned in the episode or its guide.
 * 62) **Well, it was user Mauser who told about them. I dont know about the source, though...--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ***If he didn't mention the source to you or if you can't clarify it yourself, then it's missourced information and should not be in the article. I can tell you myself that neither the episode nor its guide gave the slightest indication as to the clone units present. Only the film's novelization did, but that didn't cover the episode.  CC7567  (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * There is an unnecessary sense of chronology throughout the article with excessive uses of "then". Please remove them as much as possible.
 * 66) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) * Throughout the article you're putting names to the squads of battle droids, but in the episode, there isn't any indication of this. Please explain your reasoning as to how the droid led a "second squad" to the roof when you don't even name the "first".
 * 68) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) * "Before they could leave, however, they were followed by two squad of battle droids." With a new section and new paragraph, I have no idea who you're referring to. The droids? The Jedi? The clones? The Christophsians?
 * 70) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * Please shorten the details after the droid's robolotomy. There's still an unnecessary emphasis by the amount of detail in there.
 * 72) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * Everything after "which contained such information as his enemies traits and personalities" is a simple recounting of the droid's history, and in no way does it satisfy "Characteristics". Furthermore, you're going past the lines of inferencing and into speculation by saying he didn't "appear" to treat his troops disrespectfully "unlike other tactical droids". There isn't enough information for this to qualify as fact.
 * 74) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ***"but he was also the only known tactical droid to be ready to leave his secure tank and attack in front of his troops, in order to accomplish the mission." You are still taking way too much inspiration from what are now our obsolete "Trivia" sections by comparing him against the rest of his line. Please remove this irrelevant information; don't compare him to other droids of the same model unless you have a source that explicitly defines your statements as fact. Furthermore, "and managed to shoot at least one clone trooper during the firefight between Republic and CIS." needs to be in the history, not in the "Characteristics".  CC7567  (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) * The Campaign Guide and the Episode Commentary do not explicitly mention this tactical droid, and therefore need to be removed from "Sources".
 * 78) **I disagree. Episode commentary tells about the tactical droids in general, and the Gampaign Guide reveals that they were the battle droids of Retail Caucus. Well, maybe the latter is a matter of debate...--Kreivi Wolter 14:19, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) ***If the source does not specifically mention the article's subject in question, then it should not be listed. My objection about the Campaign Guide still stands.  CC7567  (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * Overall, there's a great deal of detail that's irrelevant and unnecessary to an article about the droid itself. Please go through the article again and either shorten or remove details that qualify. Furthermore, I am not your "master", however much you go and kid yourself that I am.  CC7567  (talk) 21:59, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) **Just messing around :)--Kreivi Wolter 23:49, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) ***Humor's only appreciated if it's taken the right way.  CC7567  (talk) 06:58, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * "Unlike B1 battle droids, he wasn't identical with any other tactical droid, as all of them had unique personality, voice, and even skin color. He was very calculating, basing everything for percentages readings, which allowed him to know probabilities and chances of each situation he was contributed with." You are still speculating that this droid is based exactly like TX-20, which is who the episode commentary was mainly based upon, and it still sounds like you're trying to compare this droid to others of his line which is unnecessary to everywhere except in the droid model article itself. Saying that this droid had different paintwork than his brothers would be the equivalent of comparing thousands of clone troopers to each other: it's simply not necessary. The episode gave no indication that this specific tactical droid possessed these abilities, and it doesn't matter if that's supposedly what all tactical droids possessed. Unless it was directly confirmed, there should be no reason for these kind of assumptions.
 * 85) **So you suggest that I remove all the information of the episode commentary?--Kreivi Wolter 19:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) ***I'm suggesting that you only leave what is directly clarified. Please rewatch the commentary and keep only what Filoni confirms for all tactical droids, not TX-20, in the article.  CC7567  (talk) 22:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) ****Roger roger.--
 * 88) * "The Republic forces were able to hold their ground, but were forced to retreat as the battle droids gained an advantage." What advantage?
 * 89) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) ***"Advantage of battle" doesn't change anything. What, specifically, is the advantage? Higher ground? Larger numbers?  CC7567  (talk) 22:45, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) ****Roger roger.--
 * 92) * Please replace "waggled" with something less colloquial and more specific.
 * 93) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) * You need to get in that it was Cody and Rex who analyzed the tactical droid.  CC7567  (talk) 06:58, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:10, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) Toprawa:
 * 97) * Presenting this in the BTS is rather trivial. Considering it is canonical, this should be moved into the "Characteristics" section instead. I'll let you put it how you see fit: "The word "TACTICAL" is written along the side of the head of this droid in Aurebesh." Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:45, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 04:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) Does the episode commentary mention this exact droid? If not, it should be removed from the sources. It does not matter if it talks about tactical droids in general; items listed in the "sources" section must be relevant to the subject of the article. However, you can still reference the information in the P&T to the commentary.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:46, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) *Oh well, roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 20:33, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments > JangFett  Talk 22:47, 21 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Also, do not source the intro. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 23:55, 21 July 2009 (UTC)