Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Ibtisam


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

(5 Inqs/4 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:03, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Uhh&hellip;kelp forest fever?  Graestan ( Talk ) 17:27, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) "She got jungle fever, she got jungle fever..." Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:35, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:32, 21 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:22, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Well done. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 22:35, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 7)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:42, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8)  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:22, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Cull Tremayne 00:01, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * Not very keen on referring to Mon Cal and Quarren as amphibians; while technically true of the species' inclinations, the term points the casual reader towards the class of animals on Earth.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Can we call her something besides the POVish "mediocre pilot?"
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * The BtS is getting to where I feared self-sourcing would lead. "Stackpole used the character in the five successive story arcs" needs to be sourced somehow, because otherwise the reader is expected to just know.
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * "Stackpole later reused in the novel"&mdash;Reused whom?
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) * Graestan ( Talk ) 12:10, 15 February 2008 (EST)
 * 11) **Thanks for your input. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:20, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***A fun read. Really a pleasure. Graestan ( Talk ) 17:27, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) Toprawa:
 * 14) * I'm too lazy to look this up myself, but link the appropriate system here. Endor system, or whatever it is. "drifting aimlessly through the system"
 * 15) * Unless I've missed it, you don't mention that she assumed the callsign Rogue Two after joining up with the squadron. Please do so.
 * 16) * This sentence is initially confusing without a previous explanation that while she had died, her death was not confirmed among the Rogues. Please add something to clarify: "When they returned to camp, Nrin threatened to kill Pestage if Ibtisam had died" Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:46, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **All addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 08:33, 18 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Nice job, Acky. Good article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:35, 20 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 20) * Can we get the lead quote for the B-wing Pilot section templated as dialogue (more than two lines)?
 * 21) **Done.
 * 22) * "Ibtisam refused to just stand by and watch, and decided to take action" Please rewrite this clause for brevity and clarity.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "Although she was eventually retrieved and left unscathed, Ibtisam was traumatized by the event" Please clarify; was she traumatized mentally or physically?
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Wikipedia link for agoraphobia may be helpful, but it's your call.
 * 27) **Done.
 * 28) * "They were rescued by Vakil, however, who flew his X-wing into the beasts, killing hordes until they retreated into the jungle" Please clarify&mdash;did he fly into them or simply engage in strafing runs?
 * 29) **He flew into them.
 * 30) ***How odd. Oh well, them's the comics for ya. ;-)
 * 31) ****Bah!
 * 32) * Lead quote for Battle of Brentaal IV section should be templated as dialogue (more than two lines)
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "Ibtisam and Janson were to use explosives to internally destroy a planetary network installed by Isoto." Err, what kind of planetary network?
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * The quote for the Later Action section looks a tad dodgy, but can't confirm. Please advise.
 * 37) **That's how it appears in the comic.
 * 38) ***Meh. Stupid copyeditors... ;) Goodwood  [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:22, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) *TIMMMMMBERRRRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:22, 23 February 2008 (UTC) (sorry about not signing it last night!)
 * 40) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 41) * "Ibtisam performed well in the simulators, though outside of her false cockpit she was often arrogant and was constantly at odds with another pilot, Nrin Vakil, a Quarren, whose species was known for their traditional animosity towards Mon Calamari; Ibtisam and Vakil were no exception and annoyed their fellow squadmates with their incessant arguments about starfighters." That's one very long sentence; please break it up some.
 * 42) **Broken up.
 * 43) * Not so much an objection, but what does ", she was among the more prolific of the Rogues" mean?
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) *In mission to the Malrev system, you state that the TIE fighters were flown by Imperials. I tend to think that's an exaggeration.
 * 46) **Meh, someone might'nt have known. Fixed.
 * 47) * Your quote is all off here:    "Dendo" ―Isoto had that beast fitted with E-webs for anti-fighter purposes. We're going to blow it up.[src]
 * 48) **Someone else's fault. Fixed.
 * 49) * "They chased the pirates away from the cruiser they were attacking, and although Ibtisam got a hold of their exit vector, they were ordered not to pursue them." Not enough context after this sentence. Either make the part after it a new paragraph, or give some more transition please.
 * 50) **Addressed.
 * 51) * "showing skill behind the joysticks of both A-wings and X-wings". Wait? A-wings? I thought she was a B-wing jockey?
 * 52) **Whoops. Fixed.
 * 53) * "Less skilled pilots, working for Admiral Krennel, were able to outfly her, and killed Ibtisam on Ciutric" Speculation, and the best pilot can get burned out of luck or surprise. Just ask Darth Vader.
 * 54) **What, speculation that they were less skilled or that they were able to outfly her? They're one of thousands of TIE squadrons serving a relatively minor commander, who, after Ibtisam was taken out, were trounced by like seven pilots who had about two minutes to get off the ground in X-wings that had not been serviced since their initial dogfight. She's serving the best and most prestigious squadron of the NR. And the best pilot usually doesn't get burned out by surprise three times in nine months.
 * 55) ***Well, I would say that it's a bit of original research/speculation to say that they were less skilled. I dunno; I'll ask around in IRC and see what the general consensus is. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:32, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) ****New wording looks much better. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:23, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:26, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not a significant enough point to oppose on, but I think it should mention the meaning of her name in her native tongue, as defined by the Galactic Campaign Guide. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:24, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Done -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:06, 15 February 2008 (UTC)
 * If you wanted, you could include the fact that Ibtisam is an Arab name, and the name of an apparently notable woman. -LtNOWIS 08:49, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * I conferred with Graestan in IRC, and I unless it can be verified that Ib was named after her, it's probably best to leave it out. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:06, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * There is precendent for including possible influences of names, fyi. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:22, 28 February 2008 (UTC)