Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/First mission to Obredaan


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

First mission to Obredaan

 * Nominated by: Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:01, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And the Premier returns with something that isn't Battle for Naboo.

(2 ECs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) &mdash; Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 04:14, February 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2)  501st  dogma ( talk ) 22:56, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) 501st
 * 2) * Context on Obredaan and Coruscant.
 * 3) * In the mission section, please state who "They" is, as you were previously just talking about Tiin and Kenobi.
 * 4) * You could probally say that the arms shipment belonged to the Jin'ha. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 00:49, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
 * 5) **Voila. Thanks for looking it over. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:54, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
 * 6) *I don't think that the lightsaber duel part is very relevent to the article. You might want to remove it. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 16:24, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
 * 7) **Actually, I must disagree with you here, dogma. It is entirely relevant&mdash;it is concurrent with the mission and it details what Kenobi is doing before he leaves on the second. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 21:11, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
 * 8) ***The duel itself has nothing to do with the event. You could just say that Kenobi was sent, it doesn't matter if he was sparing before. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 21:36, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I think this is more of a preference thing. However, having the bit about Kenobi's fight isn't hurting anything, and it does provide some back-story to explain what's going on.&mdash; Cal Jedi Infinite Empire.svg (Personal Comm Channel) 04:14, February 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Leave it if you want, I guess. 501st  dogma ( talk ) 22:56, February 10, 2013 (UTC)
 * 11) I'm Winterz, and you'll hate me afterwards
 * 12) *"(...)necessitating a second mission." To what? You must specify this by giving at least a reason (even if it's clear) and who went on it.
 * 13) **Additional info added. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:34, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 14) *I'm not seeing the Summertime War relevance to the article. If there's something connecting the events, then please specify in the article and organize the events correctly. If not, then gone with it.
 * 15) **There is no relevance, but per precedence, everything that is in the infobox needs to be linked in the article. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:34, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Actually you're wrong there. Per this section in the Layout Guide, exceptions should be made in those cases. Burn it and you may stile get a chance for CAN!
 * 17) ****Might as well leave it. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 18) * The lightsaber training isn't relevant either, unless you make due connections those assessments need to go.
 * 19) **As I explained above, it is relevant. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:34, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 20) *** Indeed it is, but isn't suitable on that section (Aftermath instead), considering the quote. Also through the quote, the aftermath can be even more expanded, as you're excluding Tiin from the "after activites".
 * 21) ****Broke it up a little since it's concurrent. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 22) * The mission section is really poor and can be easily expanded. Let me know if you're not seeing anyway to expand it.
 * 23) **There's nothing else to add, but I put additional content. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:34, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 24) *** Well CP, you ended the prelude with "They were assigned to (...)" but then start the next section on "Their X ship crashed", do you see my concerns now? You gave no intruding info about the ship, the arrival on the planet, nothing.
 * 25) ****Addressed the first point, but there isn't any other details about the mission that can be inferred. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 26) *I understand you haven't been in the CAN section for a while, as you stated (somewhere), so sorry, because it is not today and I'm gonna make you take this to GAN :p. However, beforehand let's just work through these objections. Winterz (talk) 14:45, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 27) *I don't hate challenges, I embrace them! Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 15:34, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 28) **You'll regret saying that! ^^
 * 29) * The infobox could be expanded. The participants section could still receive a certain ship and a certain number of "Jedi Masters". Also in the infobox, the outcome can receive an entry on who won.
 * 30) **Right, added. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 31) * The planet isn't only home to the warriors but to the species itself, this is quite worthy in terms of relevance.
 * 32) **I think it's fine as is. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 33) * In the Second mission to Obredaan article, you wrote that it was a rescue mission, yet in this article you claim it is an investigative mission, so which one of them is it?!
 * 34) **It's both&mdash;it starts out as a discovery mission. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 35) * Black Heth has a name and shouldn't be pipelinked. Also you should contextualize it, by at least saying that it is a criminal gang, considering you use the latter term to describe them without pointing it out properly. Winterz (talk) 16:15, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 36) **Sure thing. Thanks again. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 1) WP:VG of course. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:01, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
 * 2) *This is now over 250, but I'd like to work out the last objections first. Corellian Premier Jedi symbol.svg Force will be with you always 22:44, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
 * 3) **I am shocked :p. Okay then, my objections are done...for now, feel free to archive it. Either way, this article was begging for a GAN. Winterz (talk) 23:10, February 13, 2013 (UTC)