Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


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So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
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 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
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 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
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 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
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 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, nominators are restricted to three nominations on the FAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
 * 4) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 5) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 6) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

HK-47

 * Nominated by: JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:42, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Statement: This time, optimal quality is guaranteed.

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Optimal accuracy ratio achieved. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good to me.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:16, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:13, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 04:18, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just because I helped in the beginning, don't think this'll be easy :P
 * 2) * "After the significant loss of life at the Battle of Malachor V, Revan constructed HK-47 as an alternative as he no longer felt destruction of such a scale necessary for his goals." This is confusing and it was already stated in the sentence before that Revan created HK.
 * 3) **Hopefully clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "The droid went on to help Revan find the Star Forge once more." Revan found the Star Forge before? What is the Star Forge?
 * 5) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Context on T3, Jedi Exile, GO-TO in the intro.
 * 7) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "were found by GO-TO and used for his purposes." This is too vague.
 * 9) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 21:39, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "The Exile finally repaired HK-47, who went on to defeat G0-T0 with help from HK-50 droids he persuaded to join the Exile." Why would he need to defeat GO-TO? What was the Exile trying to do?
 * 11) **Re-worded for better understanding. I don't think we need to go into too much detail over GO-TO's goals in the intro. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:14, September 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "given a new body." Why would he need a new body, what happened to the old one? You should probably mention that he was in the ship as well.
 * 13) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 14) * "This battle climaxed in a showdown between these spacers" What spacers? Were they the ones decieved by HK?
 * 15) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 16) * "HK-47's programming resulted in his enjoyment of bloodshed, and he took pleasure in any sort of violence, even describing his work as a form of art. He had a relatively condescending opinion towards organics, and made a habit of branding all organic lifeforms meatbags." I don't know if this is really neccisary, it's just a footnote disjointed from the intro.
 * 17) **Removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 18) *That's it for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:31, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Context on Nar Shaddaa. It should also be stated that GO-TO is a droid.
 * 20) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 21) * As it reads now, the first paragraph jumps from his creation to his capture. There should be a mention that he was set on missions by Revan.
 * 22) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 23) * The first two sentences begin the article by saying that he was created at the beginning of the Jedi Civil War, then they say that he was created in the wake of Malachor V (I reworded this part a little but it was there before) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:12, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Rewritten. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:35, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:12, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) Nayayen
 * 27) * There is a fair bit of underlinking throughout. Don't forget that links shouldn't be unique to the intro and infobox just as much as information can't be.
 * 28) **After my copyedit I've also found cases of overlinking. For example, Visas Marr is not linked but Sith apprentice is linked at least twice in the body. Just remember: 1 link in intro, 1 in body, 1 in infobox and 1 in each image caption (if the latter two apply). Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **I've since linked and unlinked most of the ones that I could find, if you still see any, feel free to point them out and I'll take care of them immediately. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 30) * In the intro, where did Revan find HK again?
 * 31) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 32) * "Revan decided that more droids of this design would make efficient agents for his purposes." -What are his purposes?
 * 33) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 34) * Am I not correct in thinking that the Sand People then let Revan hear from their storyteller? HK-47 would translate for both parties as before but would often advise against responses that may offend the storyteller.
 * 35) **Actually Revan meets directly with the chieftain while HK provides translation. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 36) ***That is correct but I am fairly certain that you can meet with the storyteller if you fully follow the quest through. For starters, most of what the storyteller's lines (or rather, HK's translations) have the "Sound Resref" of "nm20aaxsto-"; you can check yourself. If you give the chieftain a krayt dragon pearl then he will deem you worthy enough to meet the storyteller. Please look into it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) ****Yeah, you're correct. I was never generous enough to give them my pearl, so I didn't recall this happening. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 38) * "was honored with Revan's other companions as heroes of the Republic, possibly even being awarded the Cross of Glory" -He either was or wasn't awarded it. There shouldn't be speculation about it.
 * 39) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 40) ***I can't find any reference to him being awarded it in the TSL tlk file. Do you have the StrRef for it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  15:24, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I watched the ending of KOTOR again and Dodonna states that she's "proud to honor each of you with the Cross of Glory," which I think makes it a safe assumption that HK-47 received it as well. If you disagree, I'd be perfectly fine with removing any mention of the award. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 42) * '"The attack failed when the Jedi Exile, Visas Marr, Nihilus's former Sith apprentice; and the current Mandalore, Canderous Ordo, along with a large force of Mandalorians boarded Nihilus's flagship, the Ravager, killed Nihilus, and destroyed the ship."'' -This is very disjointed, please fix it.
 * 43) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 44) * You need to put the P&t quote into.
 * 45) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 46) * How could you not even mention his definition of love in the P&t?
 * 47) **Good question, fixed with pleasure. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 48) * "The droid also found attacking a Jedi's allies, as Jedi would often sacrifice themselves to save an ally." -This sentence doesn't make sense.
 * 49) **Not sure what happened here, but fixed nonetheless. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 50) * Who, if anyone, voiced him in SWG?
 * 51) **After checking IMDB pages for both HK and Tabori, it doesn't appear he has a VA in Galaxies, although I'm unfamiliar with the game, and could be mistaken. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 52) ***Well, knowing that IMDB isn't always reliable, can you check with someone who has it? Someone in WP:SWG should be willing and able. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ****I've just had it confirmed by Fett 1138 that HK-47 doesn't have a voice actor in SWG. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 54) * Does his Force alignment differ between KotOR and TSL?
 * 55) **If it does it doesn't differ noticeably. He starts very dark-sided in both games. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 56) * I don't think this is something that you yourself might be able to fix but can you see about having the "companions of Revan" succession box made the same style as "companions of the Jedi Exile"?
 * 57) **I'll look into it, but I'm admittedly not very good with dealing with that sort of stuff. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 58) **This is overstepping the bounds of the FAN process, to put it politely. You don't want to hear what I really think of this kind of nonsensical objection. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:16, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **FWIW, I did modify the template for consistency's sake, if nothing else. It now matches the KOTOR II template. 22:31, September 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) ***My apologies Culator, I meant to have this as a comment and not an objection. Thank you Fraajic for sorting it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * The URL references all need to use.
 * 62) **I'm unfortunately terrible when dealing with refs, so would it be too much to ask for you to fix one as an example? Then I'd know exactly what to do and would fix the rest myself. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 63) ***Certainly, it took me ages to figure them out myself... I've done Ref13. One thing to note is that accessdate needs the format yyyy/mm/dd. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  13:10, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Ok, I fixed the refs, but I did end up listing the Team Gizka one multiple times because I couldn't get the ref name to work. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 65) *****They work the same as normal refs but instead of SOURCE for the first one, you put in the Cite web template. I've fixed them for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  07:14, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Ref No.6 (kotorcg) needs fixing.
 * 67) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 68) * Some of the categories seem a little odd, specifically the "culture" ones. Can you find any more suitable ones?
 * 69) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 70) * I can't believe that there aren't more interwiki links. Please check the list and see if any more languages have HK-47 yet.
 * 71) **LtNOWIS seems to have done this. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) *I may find some more after I do a copyedit this weekend. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *Four more for you. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  16:08, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) ** "Separatist scientists began studying design elements of HK-47" -who are the Separatists? Someone who doesn't know that the CIS are the Separatists wouldn't be able to see the connection.
 * 75) ***Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 76) ** Further to the linking issues, there seems to be at least 3 things in the Mustafar section that should be linked but aren't.
 * 77) ***Linked a few more, although many of the referenced objects or places don't seem to have articles. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 78) ** "Whether these were intentionally installed by Revan or simply part of his protocol droid package is unclear." -This should be reworded to be from an IU perspective.
 * 79) ***Hopefully fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 80) ** Can the paragraph of the P&t with brackets in be reworded to remove them?
 * 81) ***Brackets removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order)
 * 82) Naru continues...
 * 83) * "Revan renounced the Jedi Order and left along with his friend Malak to search for Star Maps left behind by an ancient civilization so he could find and use the superweapon known as the Star Forge." Use the Star Forge to do what? What does the Star Forge do?
 * 84) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) * "While HK-47 displayed obedience to those he identified as his master, he had little regard for any form of life and admitted that he was driven by a desire for violence and carnage. He characteristically used the term meatbag when speaking of organic life forms, especially Humans." This sounds like it should be in the P&T. The following reason for it could also be moved there as well.
 * 86) **I feel that this segment is important where it is, as it establishes the type of programming Revan gave him and explains the origin of the meatbag term. I reworded it a bit so it hopefully fits a bit better. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * "The droid would continue to serve Revan during the Jedi Civil War, a devastating coonflict between a Sith Empire that Revan created after his turn to the dark side and the Galactic Republic, helping him locate the Star Forge and assassinating beings who could potentially destabilize the galaxy until his master sent him on an assassination mission into Mandalorian space." This is a double "and" and also mildly confusing. Reword.
 * 88) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:06, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) * Revan's memories were lost due to the intervention of the Jedi Council, not as a direct result of Malak's bombardment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:45, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:06, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:00, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) Objections: 
 * 93) * First of all, please standardize your paragraph length. Some are just uber-long, while the others are tiny.
 * 94) **I believed I've made them a bit more even. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) * Intro: However, HK-47 had been badly damaged and captured on a mission in Mandalorian space shortly before Revan was captured by the Jedi Order. The assassin droid's memory core was damaged, causing him to forget about his master, and he went from owner to owner, many of whom he inadvertently slew personally. Damaged is a bit repetitive. Please change one.
 * 96) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * The droid also accompanied Revan to the edge of the Unknown Regions along with Revan's utility droid, T3-M4, before being left behind in Revan's starship, the Ebon Hawk, as the proclaimed Jedi Knight journeyed on to face a threat he had remembered from his time as the Dark Lord. Quite confusing as to who "the Jedi Knight" refers to, since you don't establish in the into that Revan was a Jedi.
 * 98) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * Revan's assassin: Not long after the resolution of the war, Revan renounced the Jedi Order and left along with his friend Malak to search for Star Maps left behind by an ancient civilization so he could find and use the Star Forge, a superweapon which could produce an endless supply of war material, which Revan hoped to use in conquering the Republic. This one is a run-on.
 * 100) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) * The Jedi Council ordered the Sith Lord's memories be re-written, and Revan lost his original memories, including those of HK-47's existence. Change one of the "memories" to something else.
 * 102) **Changed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) * From master to master: The droid shut himself down once again after this discovery and was sold to a Human senator on the galactic capital of Coruscant. I believe that "this discovery" refers to the disovery of his master's death, but please reword to make it more clear.
 * 104) **Clarifed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) * Back with Revan: It was also the signal for HK-47's internal programming to undo the simulated damage to his primary memory core&hellip; Are you sure "simulated" is the appropriate word here? Because is sounds as if HK simulated the damage intentionally, which, from what I can tell, was not the case.
 * 106) **Missed that one, fixed now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) * Please provide more context for Revan's search for the Star Forge. Why did he want to find it the second time?
 * 108) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:26, November 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 109) *** Now you have two consecutive sentences that state that Revan was looking for the Star Forge. Please fix this.
 * 110) ****Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) ***** Objection stands. Revan was once again trying to find the Star Forge and was looking for the Star Map located on Tatooine. Revan was once again searching for the Star Maps, this time on behalf of the Jedi Council, in order to locate and destroy the superweapon and save the Republic from defeat. These two sentences still state the same info. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 112) ******One more try! JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 113) * Promise: Will continue with the "The Jedi Exile" later. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:18, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) * The Jedi Exile: When the Jedi Exile who had since gained ownership of the Ebon Hawk reactivated HK-47, using parts retrieved from the imitation HK-50s and a junk dealer on Nar Shaddaa, the droid was enraged to discover these copies of himself, citing their coloration and their lack of using the meatbag reference, instead using "organic," as examples of their inferiority in his eyes. Run-on.
 * 115) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) * &hellip;the droid joined the Exile in her journey to find and unite the surviving Jedi Masters from the former Jedi High Council of the First Jedi Purge. Reads as if it was "The Jedi Council of the First Jedi Purge". Please reword.
 * 117) **Reworded. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 118) * Context on G0-T0 upon first mention.
 * 119) **GO-TO is given context in the intro, but I added some context there anyway. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Comment: The intro and the main body are two separate entities. A subject needs to be given context in both. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 121) * Please move the part about Revan erasing HK's memory to its chronological spot.
 * 122) **Moved. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 123) *** Still not good. This needs to be moved to the point where the erasing was actually performed by Revan, i.e. the ending of the "Back with Revan" section. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 124) ****Fixed? JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 125) * Darth Nihilus, a member of an organization of Dark Lords of the Sith, was tricked by Kreia into attacking the Jedi Academy there, thinking that he could sap the Jedis' Force energy when in reality the only Force-sensitive in the academy was its founder, Jedi Master Atris, the rest were Force-blind Echani Handmaidens. Again, run-on. Also, the plural form of Jedi is also "Jedi", not "Jedis".
 * 126) **Anons and their grammar...Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 127) * &hellip;freeing Bao-Dur's remote to activate the Mass Shadow Generator&hellip; Who's Bao-Dur? There is no mention of him prior to this part.
 * 128) **He is also mentioned in the intro but I added more context. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 129) ***See my comment above. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 130) * Sometime during the thousands of years between then and the Galactic Civil War, HK-47's artificial intelligence was transferred to a computer located in a Hammerhead-class cruiser. Explain that HK-47's chassis was also aboard the cruiser when it crashed, because the mention of the Separatists finding it later doesn't make much sense otherwise.
 * 131) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Retirement" on Mustafar: When the Separatist Confederacy of Independent Systems arrived on Mustafar during the on-going Clone Wars Choose either the "Separatists" or the "Confederacy of Independent Systems." Using both together feels kinda excessive.
 * 133) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 134) * Context on Darth Vader.
 * 135) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 136) * after Vader and the Imperial forces left Mustafar Again, what "Imperial" forces? There's no mention of any Empire.
 * 137) **Context added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 138) *** Darth Vader's actions brought an end to the Clone Wars and the Separatist movement and secured the security of the new Galactic Empire. Secured the security? :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 139) ****Wow, my bad. Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 140) * HK-47 instructed the spacers to invade the Kubaza Beetle Cavern and enable his AI to be transferred from the ship. How would the spacers invading the cavern help HK-47 transfer his AI? Was there some kind of switch in the cavern or what?
 * 141) **I'm not entirely sure what the process was since I never played Galaxies so I opted for a more general description which hopefully suffices. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 142) * Overall, the chronology of events in this section is quite confusing. What was the point of restoring the power to the facility? Did HK transfer his consciousness there as the facility's article claims? What did the six-digit code do? Please go through the section again and try to fix these.
 * 143) **I removed most of the irrelevant details to clear things up. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 144) * HK-47 informed them that, although he appreciated their help for returning him to his body, he would have to get the factory back up and running to get some payback from those who had taken it from him. Who had taken what? The body or the factory?
 * 145) **Whoever wrote this section in the beginning really didn't do a good job, but I've hopefully addressed all concerns. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 146) * Droid factory leads to a disambiguation page.
 * 147) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 148) * Also, I count five redlinks in the article. Take care of them (though I don't think we need an article for "gas").
 * 149) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 19:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 150) * Will continue with "Personality and traits" later. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:24, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 151) * For example, if asking a question, he would first say "Query:", before beginning a question such as, "Query: Who would you like killed today, master?." Feels too detailed. I believe the first part of the sentence is sufficient.
 * 152) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 153) * He was fluent in Galactic Basic Standard, Tusken, Binary, Jawa trade language, and boasted that he was fluent in over 6,000 forms of communication. "He was fluent" is repetitive
 * 154) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 155) * Could you state the dates of KotORs and SWG in the biography? It is always better to let the reader know when an event took place.
 * 156) **Good idea. The Mustafar section already had a date, so I just added them in the others. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:58, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 157) *Statement: That's all. Good work. Now fix all that's left, and I'll be happy to give my vote :) QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:05, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 158) ** All of the remaining objections stand. I've seen no changes made to satisfy them in the page history. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:37, December 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 159) **Sorry, I must have missed the save button or something, please take a look now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 160) Soresu makes a rare appearance on the FAN page
 * 161) * Just a random thing I noticed. You should make mention of his highly positive critical reception in KOTOR. I believe he won some awards for best character or something, too. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:04, December 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 162) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 163) Attack of the Clone
 * 164) * "During this period, HK-50 assassin droids, a newer version of HK that Revan had mass-produced, were found by G0-T0, the leader of the Exchange organization on the notorious Hutt-controlled moon Nar Shaddaa. G0-T0 was in truth a droid, and was forced to act in secrecy to preserve his identity, which led him to hire the HK-50s as bounty hunters, and the droids soon began traveling around the galaxy helping him achieve his goals." Is this much context really relevant to HK-47 himself? Remember, intros are only supposed to provide the reader with the most basic understanding of the subject possible.
 * 165) **Removed all but the relevant parts. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 166) * Could you please clarify the conflicts between the manufacturers in the infobox? The infobox should really only use what is fully verified, so if the actual manufacturer is unknown, then the infobox should reflect that.
 * 167) **I've switched it to unknown, but I would like to point out that Czerka is said to be the rumored manufacturer in the official Databank entry if that makes any difference. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 168) ***That still does not solve it. The infobox still needs to maintain an IU perspective, and "unknown" clarifies as OOU.  CC7567  (talk) 03:07, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 169) * The relevancy of nearly the entire first paragraph of the Biography is questionable. Please clarify why all of it is important and how it is directly relevant to HK-47.
 * 170) **I removed bits which weren't absolutely necessary but I feel the remaining content is important in clarifying why Revan chose to construct HK specifically after the battle at Malachor, and also explains why a Jedi would consider using an assassin. I understand your point about it relating to HK, but I feel the backdrop of his construction is an important part of his biography as well. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 171) ***I'm sorry, but my point of view still stands. I cannot honestly understand why throwaway bits of information, including why Malachor V was chosen as a battlefield, are directly relevant to HK-47. Furthermore, you mention the Mass Shadow Generator but don't even clarify if it was the instigator of the "destruction caused at Malachor" that you later state was the reasons behind Revan's construction of HK-47&mdash;for that reason, since you don't clarify why it's relevant, it isn't relevant. Please make this connection clearer or just shorten or scrap it all together; context isn't context when it's not clarified as context.  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 172) ****I've removed most of the irrelevant information so it hopefully works now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 173) * If you choose to keep it, Revan's "turn to the dark side" is extremely unclear in the first paragraph of the Biography.
 * 174) **Would you like me to go into more detail about their fall? That part isn't very relevent because that delves deep into content which isn't related to HK very much at all, mainly their encounter with the True Sith and the Sith Emperor. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 175) ***No, what you've added is fine. (And yes, you're right that adding any more information would be irrelevant.)  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 176) * "who claimed him as his spoils": please check this; it's not very clear.
 * 177) **Hopefully clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 178) ***Why is it "presumably"? If it wasn't directly clarified, speculation does not belong in this article.  CC7567  (talk) 06:12, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 179) ****Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 180) * "and began using him to elevate his rank by eliminating rivals": same as above.
 * 181) **Hopefully also clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 182) * "The Senator instead ordered HK-47 to kill the assistant, and the droid remained with his master, helping him eliminate his political enemies. The Senator was on the way to being elected as the Supreme Chancellor, but things did not go as they had been planned." This is unclear. Did the Senator want to eliminate his political rivals in order to be elected Chancellor? If so, this needs to be clarified, because it's irrelevant at the moment.
 * 183) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 184) * "Revan was once again trying to find the Star Forge and was looking for the Star Map located on Tatooine. Revan was once again searching for the Star Maps, this time on behalf of the Jedi Council, in order to locate and destroy the superweapon and save the Republic from defeat." Please smooth out the redundant wordings here.
 * 185) **Hopefully fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:34, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 186) * Please source that Fact tag.
 * 187) **How odd, I'm not sure why that was there. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 00:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 188) *I think that's enough for now. The two things I would recommend watching at this point are your level of context and your verb tense. For context, all that needs to be included in the article is what is directly relevant to HK-47 or is completely necessary to understand other parts of the article. For verb tense, future tense should only be used where necessary, as the shifts between past and future make the article confusing. I would recommend running through the entire article and try to fix these issues soon, preferably before I continue my review. I'll continue with "The Jedi Exile" once you have fixed these issues.  CC7567  (talk) 02:56, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 189) **Ok, I looked over the article and I think you can continue now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 190) Galaxies
 * 191) * The article Star Wars Galaxies: Trials of Obi-Wan states that the droid can be destroyed. Is this true? Also, are there any other, alternative ways to the Mustafar quest, which should be noted in the BtS? And, should you add the links to the Trials of Obi-Wan? Kreivi Wolter 11:21, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 192) **Yes, as stated in the article, you do destroy HK-47, but he survives in another body and sends you the hologram. There is only one way to complete the Mustafar quest. There are already sufficient links to Trials of Obi-Wan in the Mustafar section of the article and in fact, we decided to remove some as they were overly specific and unnecessary. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 22:25, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 193) Attack II
 * 194) * "He was partially repaired by an unknown party." This should be ringing sirens in your head by now. Please fix or scrap this OOU perspective.
 * 195) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 196) * "although he did seem familiar with G0-T0, a droid crime lord who also joined the Jedi Exile": either he's familiar with him or he isn't, nothing in between.
 * 197) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 198) * "The Exile had left instructions to destroy Malachor V, which G0-T0 tried to prevent": this is very choppy and unclear. What exactly was G0-T0 trying to prevent?
 * 199) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 200) * "Sometime during the thousands of years between then and the Galactic Civil War": when is then?
 * 201) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 202) * "For unknown reasons": OOU perspective.
 * 203) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 204) * "the terminal in the Hammerhead-class cruiser contacted a group of spacers": so the "terminal" can contact people all on its own? Please clarify.
 * 205) **Clarified. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 206) * "Revan may have directly programmed such behavior when designing HK-47, although these tendencies may have simply been part of HK-47's protocol droid package." Speculation does not belong in IU articles. Please reword or nuke it.
 * 207) **Nuked. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 208) * "As HK-47's AI was taken to create the next generation of HK droids, this trait also carried over to the HK-50 models, though these later models would more often add adjectives to their speech conditionals such as "Veiled threat" or "Irritated statement", most likely to contribute toward their disguises as protocol droids." I'm not sure about you, but this appears both irrelevant and speculative to me; please clarify this.
 * 209) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 210) * Fix that Fact tag, please.
 * 211) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 01:23, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 212) * "The origins of HK-47's name come from BioWare writer Drew Karpyshyn, who states on his website that the origin for the name of HK-47 is as follows: "My billiard team is the original source of the name for a popular character in the Knights of the Old Republic game. My team was made up of 4 players with the last name Harrison, and 1 player (me) with the name Karpyshyn. So with 4 H's and 1 K we were going to call ourselves the HK-41's. But we decided HK-47 sounded more intimidating because of the well known AK-47 rifle, so we became the HK-47's. Several years later, when I went to work for BioWare, I tacked the name onto the homicidal Hunter-Killer robot assassin who joined the player on his quest."" If you're going to quote something, please do it properly and place it where it should go; however, I'm sure that you can find a better way of reiterating the origins of his name rather than just simply copying it directly from the guy's website.
 * 213) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 214) * "It is unknown if it was intended that HK-47 would perish with Malachor V, but given his resurgence in the Rebellion era, no ending in which he did can be considered canon-compatible. Same issue with speculation that I've reiterated twice before. Not even cut scenes should have it.
 * 215) **Removed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:27, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 216) *I will be going through this article once more with you after all of these have been fixed. Please dedicate as much time as possible to therefore ensure that the article is at its best quality and complies with all of Wookieepedia's policies.  CC7567  (talk) 03:07, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 217) Clone Attack III
 * 218) * Please remember that there's another objection remaining somewhere above from one of my earlier reviews.
 * 219) **As to the objection about the manufacturers, I must admit I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to properly fix the problem. Could you please explain how I should deal with it? JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 220) ***You can simply remove the "Unknown" and end the problem. If the Manufacturer field isn't field, the reader automatically assumes that it isn't known, but this way you let the reader make that assumption instead of doing so yourself.  CC7567  (talk) 02:39, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 221) ****Gotcha, thanks. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 222) * "HK-47 also aided the Exile in her search for the surviving Jedi Masters": can more context be given for what, specifically, the Jedi Masters "survived"?
 * 223) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 224) * Can this "political assassin" role be better worded? If Revan had him assassinate political individuals, then it should be stated as such.
 * 225) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 226) * "Revan did, in fact, use Czerka's HK-24 design as a basis for his model and included several of his own upgrades." As this fact has much more relevance earlier on&mdash;say, at the beginning of the Bio&mdash;can it be placed as such?
 * 227) **Moved. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 228) * Context on the Star Forge in the Bio, please.
 * 229) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 230) * Can a link be placed somewhere for Malak's betrayal? I'm sure that there's an article for the battle that exists here.
 * 231) **A link to the Capture of Darth Revan is already present in the article, but if you would like me to link it elsewhere as well, feel free to ask. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 232) ***No, that's fine; I just didn't see it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:39, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 233) * "As a sign of appreciation, the chieftain gave Revan his personal gaffi stick as a sign of gratitude": please pick either the appreciation or gratitude; the redundancy is rather unnecessary.
 * 234) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 235) * "Revan later encountered Malak for the first time since his former Sith apprentice had betrayed him. This meeting proved to be the stimulus necessary for Revan to remember the truth about his own history." Any links to events that can be implemented here?
 * 236) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 02:27, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 237) * "HK-47 remained with Revan until the end of the former Dark Lord's journey, following him to the Star Forge and aiding in the destruction of the superweapon as well as the defeat of Darth Malak." Same as above.
 * 238) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 239) * "Somehow during the intervening time": can this be reworded at all? It's not very clear.
 * 240) **JethLordMaster, I just realized that this objection has not been stricken, and further inspection of the article indicates that it hasn't been addressed yet. Please do so as soon as possible.  CC7567  (talk) 08:02, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 241) ***I apologize for appearing to have ignored this one, I just didn't see it. Fixed now. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 03:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 242) * Context on the Jedi Exile in the Bio.
 * 243) **Added. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 244) * In keeping with many of the current FAs, can "Characteristics" and "Abilities" be used instead of the P&T and S&A, which are more centered around organic characters themselves?  CC7567  (talk) 23:05, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 245) **Done. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:37, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 246) * If the First Jedi Purge is a conjecturally titled article, then it cannot be used as a canon name in the article. Please clarify.  CC7567  (talk) 23:57, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 247) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:54, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) **Fixed. JethLordMaster Ying yang copy.jpg (Xia Order) 23:54, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Is there a succession box for "owners of HK-47"? I think there were at least 7 and it would be useful to have. This isn't an objection but could you look into it? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  22:25, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Not objection-worthy, but aren't there any other pictures of HK? 'Cause right now there are only images of him standing still, and I would like to see him shooting stuff :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:18, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * You might want to mention in the BTS that he is mentioned in the CSWE. His entry is listed as "HK-47 droid".--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Darth Caedus

 * Nominated by: Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Over a year later, it's finally done. It'll probably take that long to pass, too. Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Timeline
 * 2) * The section "still the student" reads: "He did not leave immediately, however. He spent some time instructing other Jedi, among them Nelani Dinn, whom he trained in lightsaber combat." This seems to suggest that he instructed Nelani before he set out on his journey, although Betrayal claims that this occurred in 33 ABY. It's a bit confusing as it currently reads.
 * 3) **Betrayal's statement that it was "seven years ago" that he trained her is an artifact of Betrayal's original setting in 37 ABY; after it was removed, some time references had to be rewritten and this one wasn't caught. The same rewrite was responsible for the mixup saying Zekk was younger than Jaina; one of their ages got corrected but not the other. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I know that, but the sentence, as it currently reads, still seems to imply that he instructed Nelani before he left, which hasn't been established in canon, and is thus conjecture. The "seven years ago" statement is really a currently unresolved continuity issue, and I think it warrants a note in "Behind the scenes", just as in Nelani Dinn's article. Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Well, it implies that because that's obviously the situation. We know there's a timing error; we know that if we read it as a leftover mistake, it makes sense; we know if we read it as correct it makes no sense (Jacen is randomly heading back to train random Jedi in lightsaber technique, but refuses to see his parents even though he misses them?). It's a mistake, pure and simple. Just like all the stuff that's supposedly twenty years ago in Patterns of Force; we know it's not because it doesn't make sense and the book is riddled with timeline errors. It's a good idea to note it in the BTS, though, and I've done that.
 * 6) *****Awesome. Really well-done paragraph in BTS. Menkooroo 20:36, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Also, what's the basis for claiming that Jacen didn't set out on his journey until 30 ABY? Is it the consistent use of "five-year journey" in post-NJO novels? Even with that in mind, it still seems like conjecture on your part, unless it's been explicitly stated that he waited a year to leave.
 * 8) **It's the five-year journey bit, yes. It would be conjecture for me to say he left right away and all the other sources calling it five years were wrong on the assumption or inference that he had to have left in a matter of days right after TUF. Though that seems to be the vague assumption that the material kind of forwarded by not explicitly saying he hung around a while before leaving, other than the thing with Nelani, it's only a vague inference whereas the more specific references tell explicitly against it. I'm just working with what canon established. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Maybe source the "30 ABY" in that sentence, and make a note of it in the reference? A note establishing that the novel(s) sourced indicate it was a five-year journey. That would clear up confusion, and make it clear to everyone that it's bsaed on in-novel statements and is not conjecture. Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****It's already sourced to The Joiner King, which establishes that it was a five-year journey that ended in 35 ABY. There's not really any more sourcing needed -- if anything that might be questioned as "is that an inference or a guess or right in the text?" had to get sourced and noted, there would be twenty refs saying "No, that's in there," in each paragraph. I get what you're saying, but I don't think it's really necessary or practical. Havac 20:18, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *****Yeah, you're right. For completeness's sake, I'd suggest adding in a couple more sources immediately after "Jacen set out in 35 ABY" (other novels which call it a five-year journey), but that's just a preference of mine, not a requirement. Cheers. Menkooroo 20:36, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Ditto claiming that he visited the Baran Do Sages in 34 ABY --- Outcast states that he visited them near the end of his journey, but does it actually explicitly state that it was in 34 ABY? If not, then 34 ABY seems like conjecture based on the idea of The Joiner King taking place at the very beginning of 35 ABY.
 * 13) **The Baran Do, in 43 ABY, say he visited them nine years ago. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***My mistake! Menkooroo 19:01, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * Some image captions end in punctuation while others don't.
 * 16) **Those which are complete sentences end in punctuation; those that aren't don't. Image caption policy. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I'm pretty nitpicky about timeline things, but a very well-done and extensively researched article with a fantastic use of images. Excellent job, Havac. Menkooroo 03:09, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thank you. Havac 05:24, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * The fourth paragraph of "Deep doubts" reads: "When five beetles menaced a pair of vulnerable Vors, however, he was forced to kill. More beetles were drawn to his lightsaber, forcing him to throw it away and run." I think it's worth mentioning that it was Droma who convinced him to throw the lightsaber. Droma was part of the expedition, and was the one who realized that they were attracted to light sources. Menkooroo 20:56, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **You just love Droma, don't you Jeff? I've added in a mention. Havac 01:44, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Damn right I do. But I also did legitimately feel like the paragraph was incomplete. Feel the Ryn love! Menkooroo 03:46, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Why do I sometimes drop into the FAN page for some ultimately minor and random objection?
 * 23) *Maybe mention somewhere his preference of darker coloured clothing/furnishings during his time as Sith Lord? I believe his GA office was almost completely black, as were his robes and weird armor-ish stuff he wore underneath. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:35, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **I've added a notation on the clothes, which is a good catch. I can't find anything about the office. If you come up with a quote, let me know. Havac 23:21, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) Me again.
 * 26) * Hey Hav, could you add something to Bts about ? Miniatures too if you want to, links and.
 * 27) **I actually took care of this under the Sofixit clause. I'm leaving my below question, though, as I think it might actually be a policy that individual issues need to be referenced, and not story arcs. Although I could be confusing it with a similar but different policy. I'd take care of it myself, but I'm trade-waiting for Invasion. Menkooroo 12:06, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ***It was a good writeup, but I've moved the paragraph for minor layout purposes, and I've cut out the Miniatures information, as it's not particularly notable for a major EU character to have minis and so doesn't really merit a writeup. The action figure stuff is noteworthy, though. Havac 05:38, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * You've cited a few story arcs in Legacy and Invasion --- can you source the individual issues? For example, what's currently reference #104 is a link to Star Wars Legacy: Vector --- how do you feel about changing it to Star Wars Legacy 31: Vector, Part 12? Menkooroo 14:07, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **I don't source to issues, for a couple reasons. One is that it's too small a thing to cite to -- it creates a clutter of citations for small increments of a story, like citing chapters in a book. The other is that the story isn't presented for posterity in issue form -- it's collected in story form in trades. So there's no way for most people to even know what issue anything is from. And there's no rule requiring citation by issue, because of those limitations. Havac 05:38, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Ah, cool. I must have been mixing it up with a different policy. Also, I'd give the article a full review, but I'll be reading YJK relatively soon (I swear!) and naturally want to be unspoiled. Menkooroo 07:15, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I know. Redlinks. They'll be eliminated. Havac 04:09, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * I count 23 18  16  6 zero, some of which can probably be pointed to existing pages as I've done with several already. ( Airship, board game , coraltree basal , Corellian Space Defense Force , dazzle-grenade , Dragon's Teeth , electroencephaloscan , fighting-sight , Font of Power , Garqi Resistance , grand marshal , ion shield generator , Legal and Legislative Department , medical runner , Mind Walking , mirror illusion , Mists of Forgetfulness , Pool of Knowledge , railcar , safety stick , Star Wars: The New Jedi Order Round-Robin Interview , Throne of Balance , and twin bond , for easy reference.) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:25, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * I trust you will update the article with any new info from the Star Wars: Invasion comics?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course. Havac 20:26, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Starbreaker 12

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:08, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Quite possibly one of the oddest looking ships in SW. In fact, all of the TOTJ ships look weird.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) There are a couple of things below I haven't stricken, but they're mostly my preference, so I won't oppose based on them. Good work! ~ SavageBob 21:08, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:29, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:53, February 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 2) * I think the "Description" section is a bit sparse. You could say a lot more about the ship just from looking at pictures of it. It's hull is uneven, it has a mass of tendril-like protrusions below the cockpit, its extremities are connected by wire, its side-born engines glow yellow, etc.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "With supplies low, many starship operators began running supplies to the Tetan forces, including the Daragons in the Shadow Runner." This line is confusing, since its ambiguous whether "the Daragons" refers to the supply runners or the Tetan forces. I know which it is from context, but can you clarify it a bit?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Context for Aarbra.
 * 7) **I do give him context by saying that he owned Aarrba's Repair Dock.
 * 8) ***I guess I'd like to see his species mentioned there too, but I won't oppose based on my personal preference. :) ~ SavageBob 21:07, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "Now in possession of the Starbreaker 12, Gav and Jori Daragon did indeed become hyperspace trailblazers..." The "now in possession of the Starbreaker 12" part is redundant, since the previous paragraph tells us that they now had the ship.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * Overall, Starbreaker 12 is repeated a bit too much. Can you replace every so often with "the ship" or "the Daragons' ship" or another synonym?
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * "The Starbreaker 12 was kept in Aarrba's hangar while the Daragons searched for the means to pay for its repairs." Again, the previous paragraph says exactly this, so there's no need to repeat it here.
 * 14) **Addressed;
 * 15) * Pronouns for the ship: In places you use it, in others you use she and her. I'm not sure what Wookieepedia policy is, but can you homogenize the usage in the article?
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * "Upon landing, however, the Daragons were promptly arrested by the natives." The previous sentence tells us they landed, so "upon landing" is unnecessary.
 * 18) **Addressed.
 * 19) * Context for Khar Delba.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) *"After this incident, the Starbreaker 12 was protected by Ludo Kressh and his personal guards in its Ziost holding bay." "After this incident" is redundant; the reader will assume events are chronological unless you say otherwise.
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) * "cunning Dark Lord Naga Sadow." Cunning sounds POV.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) * "Kressh arrived at the scene after the Starbreaker 12 had been stolen, and initially thought that it was a Republic attack." Again, no need to repeat that the ship had been stolen.
 * 26) **I wasn't repeating the fact; I was simply placing Kressh's arrival in the context of previous events.
 * 27) * "Narrowly avoiding a catastrophic impact, Jori Daragon attempted to inform them of the Sith." The previous sentence tells us she avoided collision, so no need to repeat it here.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) *That's it. Good work! It's hard to make a ship article interesting IMO. ~ SavageBob 15:54, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) The Grand Master
 * 31) *"&hellip;until the scheming Sith Lord Naga Sadow launched an attack" Link for this attack? (Please link it in the body as well)
 * 32) *Link for Sadow's fortress on Khar Delba? (Intro and body, both)
 * 33) *"&hellip;lead him back to the Galactic Republic to launch an attack." Are you referring to the Great Hyperspace War? If so, please link. (In the body as well)
 * 34) *Link for Kirrek's "rebel forces?"
 * 35) *In this article you say that Primus Goluud is a red dwarf star, whereas its article and most other articles referring to it claim that it is a supergiant. Which is correct?
 * 36) *In the intro you say Kahorr sent assassins, but in the body you say it was bounty hunters; I know they're pretty much the same thing, but please be consistent.
 * 37) *"Soon, however, the guards came under attack by forces affiliated with the Dark Lord Naga Sadow." Linky?
 * 38) *Does the Starbreaker 12 appear in each and every comic in the two arcs you have listed? According to the comic pages themselves, the Starbreaker 12 is mentioned only in Forces in Collision and is destroyed in First Encounter, meaning it can't appear in the fourth and fifth issues of the arc. Remember to list the specific comics in which it appears, and not just the arc.
 * 39) *Again, as a note, please watch your linking, I have taken care of several issues in my copy-edit; please take note of them so that you know to avoid them in the future. Also remember to watch for tense in the prose&mdash;try to avoid using phrasing like "In their endeavors, the ship was usually damaged, and would have to be repaired often by Aarrba" as this use of "would have" is not past-tense. Also remember to watch for tense-shifting in the BTS. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:27, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Would it be possible to swap the placement of the second and third images as far as which one is left-justified and which one is right-justified? The one of the Daragons looking leftward would be better placed on the right of the page, as their gaze would then lead the viewer's eye into the text rather than away from it. Just a suggestion! ~ SavageBob 22:26, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Battle of the Rishi moon

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 00:39, November 10, 2009 (UTC) and Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:40, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ah, finally it's done. Brought to you by Jang and Jugs. :P

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well done. -- Xd1358  Talk 15:33, November 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice work guys : ) Kreivi Wolter 19:58, December 10, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Darth Trayus
 * 2) * The sentences in the first paragraph of the intro are short and choppy. Combine those that you can.
 * 3) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * You use "Realizing" to start two consecutive sentences in the inro's second paragraph.
 * 5) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * In the intro you say Rex realized the detonator didn't work, but in the body you say it's Hevy.
 * 7) **Changed the first one to Hevy, too, but I'll have to check with Jang to be sure that it was him. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Mention the plunk droids somewhere in the Destroying the Base section.
 * 9) **Addressed.  JangFett  (Talk) 12:27, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Wouldn't the fleet battle be part of the battle as well and not the aftermath?
 * 11) **Well, that depends. Did it occur over the moon of Rishi? I was under the impression that it was elsewhere. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Yeah it did. I think that needs to be made clear as well, as Grievous brought his fleet to the Rishi Moon following the commando droid's initial success.
 * 13) ****Ok, hopefully addressed.
 * 14) * Is Rishi Station ever referred to as a base? If not you may want to change your section headings. It's nitpicky, yes, but more accurate.
 * 15) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *Other than that all, it's a good, consise article. My only other suggestion would be to make your images larger, as they're already dark and hard enough to see anyway. Small sizes like the ones you have now simply defeat the purpose of having images in the first place.
 * 17) **Addressed; we'll get to the rest soon. Thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:53, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:42, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Clone attack (most likely minor stuff until further notice)
 * 20) * Please remind me why Fives, Echo, and Hevy are listed as commanders when they hold no official rank. Also, if you're going to specifically list Hevy, O'Niner, and Cutup under the casualties, you're going to have to list all of the rest of them, which is not something I recommend trying to do.  CC7567  (talk) 04:42, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **Addressed.  JangFett  (Talk) 12:22, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Xd
 * 23) * "They came under attack from a Rishi eel, which killed Cutup before the other three clones were able to defeat it." Did they really defeat it? "Defeat" sounds like they killed it.
 * 24) **Addressed; thanks for the review. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 16:53, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) *** You may want to mention one of the clones warning the others before the eel arrived, and that one of the clones shot at the eel. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:02, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ****I think that would be a little too play-by-play. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 17:19, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "Grievous, having lost contact with the droid commandos, dispatched a team of B1 battle droid reinforcements to investigate the disappearance of the droids in the listening post." There were Super battle droids as well, I think.
 * 28) **Changed to "battle droids".  JangFett  (Talk) 22:43, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * No lead quote?
 * 30) **-- Xd1358  Talk 09:45, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Addressed; sorry about not addressing this eariler.  JangFett  (Talk) 00:40, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) The clone finally made it here
 * 33) * I'm quite sure that there were more than eight troopers&mdash;and even that isn't a definite number. Please clarify.
 * 34) **Addresed.  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * Are you certain that all battle droids, including those with the fleet, were destroyed?
 * 36) **I clarified this a bit. It's not known how many droids were destroyed.  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ***Please check your grammar and formatting. Hint: bullets. Also, I'm sure that this can be clarified with a more specific number&mdash;say, "all deployed droid forces" or something similar?  CC7567  (talk) 04:26, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) ****Ah, sounds good. Addressed. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 17:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * "Confederate General Grievous had planned to attack the Wild Space planet of Kamino in order to end the Republic's production of clone troopers, but the Republic held Rishi Station, a listening post near Kamino on the moon of Rishi, to warn the Republic fleet of any impending Confederate attacks in the area." Linking, tense, and overall coherency are all issues here. Also, while the existence of Rishi Station is a direct threat to Grievous's plans, I'm sure that you can reword it better so that it's not presented as extraneous information.
 * 40) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 17:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) ***"Confederate General Grievous had planned to attack the Wild Space planet of Kamino in order to end the Republic's production of clone troopers, though, the Republic held a listening post near Kamino on the moon of Rishi." That isn't much of an improvement, considering the misused "though." Also, I'd suggest rewording the last part to something like "the listening post prevented Grievous from entering the system without alerting the Republic fleet."  CC7567  (talk) 02:51, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "As they fled the base, however, the remote detonator wasn't responding": please watch your word choice and your tense.
 * 43) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * How is Kamino this important to be mentioned prominently in both the intro and body?
 * 45) **I'm quite sure that's mentioned better in the intro. In the body, I see that it's thoroughly explained. I saw a minor issue in the intro that caused Kamino to be less important, though, it's corrected.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Still remains. Why is Kamino so important to the Republic? It currently seems like a random planet with no value&mdash;where it does actually have one.  CC7567  (talk) 02:51, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Can the Prelude image be resized at all? Making it that small and not taking advantage of it as a full image isn't very useful.
 * 48) **Generally it may fall under, though, I fixed it. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***The only reason I repeat issues that fall under Sofixit is to either bring it to the nominator's attention or remind the nominator of them if he/she has already been told of them.  CC7567  (talk) 04:26, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Neither Nub or Droidbait are named in the episode, and it is therefore not a source for them.
 * 51) **Eh, should be the episode guide.  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "O'Niner then left the command center of the base": left for where?
 * 53) **Addressed  JangFett  (Talk) 05:21, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***"O'Niner, however, left the command center of the base to help Nub and Droidbait, and ordered trooper CT-26-6958, nicknamed "Hevy," to sound the alarm and alert the Republic fleet." First, I'm unsure why you're choosing to use "however" if you're not indicating any sort of comparison. Second, O'Niner can't help Nub and Droidbait if they're already dead.  CC7567  (talk) 04:26, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Oops, addressed.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) *I honestly must say that the linking in the article was so sporadic that I got rather dizzy trying to fix it. Also, at a glance, I'm spotting numerous grammar errors that are still in the article. I'm stopping here and giving you time before I continue with "Retaking the station" to make sure that the article is at the absolute best quality that you believe it can be, Jang. Everything else that I have to say is stuff that I've already said countless times by now.  CC7567  (talk) 07:36, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * "Realizing that they couldn't defeat all of the reinforcements, the clones planned to destroy the listening post with liquid tibanna." This still doesn't incorporate the main reason for the clones' destruction of the base, the one that I asked you to clarify in the body.
 * 58) **Addressed.
 * 59) ***Please try to be more concise next time. Creating a new sentence for context is often unnecessary and just makes the prose more long-winded and choppy.  CC7567  (talk) 04:47, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Only one droid actually donned clone armor, yet you make it sound like several did. Please clarify.
 * 61) **Addressed
 * 62) * Cutup was still screaming when the eel took him away, so he wasn't dead.
 * 63) **Hope this clarifies it.
 * 64) * "When they attempted to contact the troopers within the base, the droid commandos": this makes it sound like the droids contacted the clones in the base.
 * 65) **Addressed
 * 66) *In the second paragraph of "Retaking the base," the text really doesn't match up with the episode. "Arrival at the moon" isn't same as approaching it in a shuttle, if I remember correctly.
 * 67) *Please clarify the presence of the Obex earlier instead of simply mentioning it when it was destroyed; fixing the above objection should fix this.
 * 68) *Context on how Rex and Cody left the landing pad. Did they jump? Free-fall? Break a leg?
 * 69) *"Soon, the eel that had killed Cutup reappeared and attacked the clone troopers. With one shot to the eye, Rex quickly dispatched the eel before it could cause any more casualties." How do you know that it's the same eel? The episode definitely didn't indicate that.
 * 70) *"Using a droid's head and claiming to have a faulty vocabulator, Rex convinced the droid commandos to open the main doors." Perhaps naming the specific droids might help.
 * 71) *Please be consistent on whether you decide to use "droid commandos" or "commando droids." Yes, they're essentially the same thing, but I believe consistency will help you.
 * 72) *Will continue with "Destroying the station" once these are fixed, and I will additionally be running through this article once more to make sure that everything necessary is there. Please re-watch the episode and verify that the article incorporates all of the necessary details.  CC7567  (talk) 22:27, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *What role, specifically, did Ventress play in the preparations for the invasion of Kamino? The episode somewhat expands on this, yet the article only gives her a small side mention.  CC7567  (talk) 04:47, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Shouldn't it be "Battle of the Rishi Moon," or "Battle of Rishi's Moon?" —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 16:22, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * "Battle of the Rishi Moon" currently redirects to this article. I'd say for better naming of the battle, this article should be called "Battle of the Rishi moon." An admin has to delete that redirect article so I can properly move "Battle of Rishi moon" to it.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:49, November 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * All done. :) Much thanks to GT for moving the article.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:04, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

Raik Muun

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 15:34, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A crazy Dark Jedi

(3 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:11, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:53, December 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 03:39, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:06, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) --Eyrezer 03:25, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Council Chambers:
 * 2) * Since this article is based on RPG adventures, I think it needs RPG and Endgame, though I'm not sure.
 * 3) **The templates are meant to be used in situations where it is uncertain whether or not something is canonical, like if something happens only as a result of a choice made by RPG players, where they have alternate options available. I have tried to write the article in such a way that avoids those situations by just stating the plain facts established about Muun in the scenarios, but in comparison with some other RPG characters, there isn't that much that the players can do to alter the actions of Muun. Therefore, I believe I have avoided needing to use the templates and I have stated in the BTS the few instances where the facts are uncertain, ie in Force Convention her powers vary with player tier and in Echoes of the Jedi she may or may not be killed. However, I am quite happy to add the templates if you feel they are necessary. --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Eh, I'll let someone who has dealt with RPG articles more often make that call. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:11, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "and was defeated when they were attacked by a group of Alderaanian Resistance agents.": "Defeated" is a bit unclear. Was she captured, killed, etc., or does the source just not give any more detail? This same issue is also in the last sentence of the bio.
 * 6) **Echoes of the Jedi is unclear about whether or not she is killed, as the player characters only have to defeat her, so it is theoretically possible for them not to have to do so, ie they could knock her out or something. As her fate is uncertain, I have chose not to speculate too much, although I have mentioned in the BTS that it is possible for the Resistance agents to kill her. --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * "Muun then entered the cantina and walked over to a group of tough-looking people, who were sitting at a table near the door. She gave them a gesture that suggested that she wanted a fight, causing them to laugh at her.": After the first five words, the rest of this is a little too play-by-play and unnecessary.
 * 8) **Cut down --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "However, Master Kirlocca had hired a group of freelance agents known as the "Heroes of Cularin" to find Lawsirk": Is "Heroes of Cularin" an actual canonical name? If not, it should be pipelinked and the instances in the "Attack on the Luxury" section quote and later in that section should be reworded, as conjectural names are OOU.
 * 10) **It is a canonical name and is used on many occasions throughout the Living Force campaign --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "to try and delay the Heroes of Cularin from further interfering with her plans. In a further attempt to slow down the agents,": "Further" is repetitive.
 * 12) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Otherwise, looks good. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:08, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks for the review --Jinzler 21:13, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Attack of the Clone
 * 16) * Can you clarify the distinction between "Near-Human" and "Human half-breed"? Unless they hold equal importance, only one should be chosen for consistency.
 * 17) **Clarified, now it just calls her a Human half-breed --Jinzler 22:35, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Is she Force-sensitive? It would be better if you can directly clarify this, if possible.
 * 19) **Clarified --Jinzler 22:35, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * Please avoid using too many "then"s, as it gives an unneeded sense of chronology.
 * 21) **Cut down --Jinzler 22:35, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Can you somehow vary up the usages of "blocked" in the "Searching for the t'salak" section?
 * 23) **Fixed --Jinzler 22:35, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "F'Lopo filmed the whole attack, and the footage was confiscated by the Office of Peace and Security. The footage was passed on to the Almas Jedi, and the attack was attributed to Nek Lawsirk." Can this be shortened at all? I'm unsure if all of this is directly relevant to Muun.
 * 25) **Shortened --Jinzler 22:35, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *Will continue with "Attack on the Luxury" as soon as these are fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 07:56, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) * "aboard the liner Luxury near to Rennokk, a moon of Cularin": please reword; the "near to" isn't a proper idiom.
 * 28) **Reworded --Jinzler 23:44, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "so that its crew would be able to sabotage the conference": whose crew? Please be clearer here.
 * 30) **Clarified --Jinzler 23:44, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * Please be consistent and clarify the dual Qornah Holocron/Qornah holocron capitalization.
 * 32) **Fixed --Jinzler 23:44, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *I'd recommend that you continue to watch your linking and try to avoid excessively using the colloquial "so," as multiple usages&mdash;especially used incorrectly&mdash;tend to create a lack of interesting writing. I know that you're a good writer and that you're able to vary it up more, so please do so in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 04:25, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for your advice, I will try to follow what you have said when I write articles in the future --Jinzler 23:44, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) Few things:
 * 36) * "Inside, she encountered a series of obstacles that the Tarasin had placed inside the cave to prevent anyone from freeing the t'salak. Muun crossed a deep chasm, then passed a large boulder that blocked her path to a large chamber. She entered the chamber and found a concealed door that lead to further chambers. After locating the button that opened the door, she entered another tunnel, but soon found her way blocked by a wall of roots and vines. She tried to cut them down, but the roots and vines regenerated every time she sliced through them. The obstacle had been engineered by the Tarasin to allow only people who had never touched the dark side of the Force to get through, so Muun was unable to pass it." This is a little too pbp.
 * 37) **Reworded. See what you think of it now --Jinzler 16:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "committed various immoral acts" Immoral is a bit POV.
 * 39) **Changed to "illegal" --Jinzler 16:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * When she went to Coruscant, who did she intend to kill, Palpatine? Please add that if the source specifies who was her target.
 * 41) **Unfortunately, the source only states that she wanted to confront those responsible for the destruction of the self-rightious Force-users --Jinzler 16:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *Fine work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:30, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Cheers for the compliment, I appreciate you taking time to review the article --Jinzler 16:22, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Antares Draco

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 08:38, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The dude punched Cade in the motha-kriffin' face!

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Looks solid to me&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:01, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Great character, great article --Jinzler 18:33, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Quick glance&hellip;
 * 2) * Please use the Cite web template for all external links.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:59, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I've added five external links using that template --- let me know if they're OK. Menkooroo 04:23, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I apologize, I also meant the references and notes.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****OK, I think I got it right this time. Menkooroo 15:36, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Cool. Thanks for taking care of this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:09, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Blacklist:
 * 8) * You state in the article that Draco earned the title of "Imperial Master," but nothing links to it. I would suggest creating the page since there is enough info to warrant a distinction between that rank and that of Imperial Knight. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 03:28, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **That's an interesting idea. I think what I might do instead is do some maintenace on the IK article itself, and create a section entitled "Training", with a subsection about mastery, and then link there. There's really only a single sentence on "mastery" within the IK's in the LECG, and the term "Imperial Master" itself would be a conjectural one. I'll write here again tomorrow when I've done that. Menkooroo 15:26, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Oooooookay. The first instance of "Master" in the article is now linked to the Mastery section of Imperial Knight. I did this rather than create a new article because Imperial Knight is about the order, not the title, unlike Jedi Knight, which is about the title. Menkooroo 10:03, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ***My apologies. —Tommy 9281 04:47, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Jinzler
 * 13) * Draco's stats in the Legacy Era Campaign Guide reveal that he knew telekinesis. You should mention this in the P&A section --Jinzler
 * 14) **I had it listed as "levitation", but telekinesis is a better (and the proper!) name for it. Checking the LECG also revealed that Draco knows the Force shield talent, which I added. Holla! Menkooroo 12:55, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) *Other than that, it looks pretty goooood --Jinzler 13:19, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) **High praise indeed from someone who FA'd another Draco. I mean... another Dracoooooooo. Menkooroo 12:55, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Attack of the Clone
 * 18) * "an acceptance that brought him into conflict with fellow Imperial Knights Krieg and Azlyn Rae": "acceptance" really does not sound like the right word choice here.
 * 19) * "At that moment, Calixte revealed herself to be in the room with them and eavesdropping": something's not working here; please try to reword.
 * 20) * "Draco accompanied Fel as he arrived on-planet, along with fellow Imperial Knights Sigel Dare and Draco's trusted friend Ganner Krieg." You imply that both are Knights, but the wording only confirms that Dare is one. Please clarify.
 * 21) * "and had rendezvoused with Jedi Knights Wolf Sazen and Astraal's brother, Shado Vao": same issue as above, just with the Jedi Knights.
 * 22) * "Draco's reasoning was that he loved her, to which her response was simply: "I know."'" Please try as much as possible not to use direct quotes in this manner. Blended quotes (i.e. On Geonosis, Rex was adamant against "turning tail and running" with his men'') are fine, but most others are slightly unprofessional.
 * 23) * "When Sazen attempted to return to the battle, Draco held him back, insisting that Marasiah's life was more important than anyone else's. Frantic, Draco revealed that the Massacre at Ossus had happened against the Emperor's orders and convinced Sazen to do whatever he could to heal her." Is something missing here? The implication of Sazen being upset over the Massacre at Ossus is implied but never expanded upon, and Draco's own "franticness" seems to come out of the blue.
 * 24) * "Fel summoned Draco and Kried": to where?
 * 25) * Context on the Wheel.
 * 26) *Have to continue with "Journey to the Hidden Temple" later because of time constraints.  CC7567  (talk) 21:47, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) **Addressed everything above. Let me know what ya think. Menkooroo 06:02, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) *As a note, please watch how you capitalize ranks and titles.
 * 29) * "Undercover, Rae confronted Skywalker as he visited his uncle, "Bantha" Rawk&mdash;formerly the Jedi Knight Nat Skywalker&mdash;on Iego, and claimed to be a bounty hunter." Who claimed to be a bounty hunter? I know that you're trying to indicate Skywalker did so, but the phrasing doesn't make it clear.
 * 30) **Actually, I meant Rae. Good catch. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * "Cloaking their ship, the Imperial Knights followed the Mynock to the Hidden Temple and landed at the base behind their quarry." What base?
 * 32) *Watch your dash usage, please. "---" is in no way a proper substitute for either the em or the en dash.
 * 33) **Did I miss any? There are only single dashes left, in words like "Empire-in-Exile". Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ***No, it's fine. I was just pointing it out to you so that you can be aware of it in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Accompanied by both Skywalkers, Sazen, and Vao, they appeared before Jedi Masters K'Kruhk, Tr'a Saa, and Tili Qua": who's "they"?
 * 36) * Please be consistent on using either "Rawk" or "Skywalker" for Nat throughout the entire article&mdash;including when you first mention him&mdash;unless it's absolutely necessary to mention his second name. It's getting rather confusing as it is having to distinguish between the Skywalkers.
 * 37) **Agreed. I originally didn't name him as a Skywalker, but another Inq changed it a few months back. I've re-jettisoned it. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * Please clarify the "TIE predators"/"TIE Predators" capitalization. Consistency is your friend and an important part in writing.
 * 39) * Please limit your excessive usage of "explored" in the Mission to Had Abbadon section.
 * 40) * Please clarify the TwinTail italicization&mdash;that article does not italicize it, and the MOS itself does not support it.
 * 41) *Will continue with "Peace talks on Agamar" once these are addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 06:56, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **Addressed everything above. Thanks for the copy-edit, too. But I did change two sentences back to how they were post-objection but pre-copy-edit: adding "the latter of whom was Draco's trusted friend/Astraal's brother" to the end of a sentence seems to unnecessarily drag the sentence out. But thanks for the copy-edit and the corrections; much-appreciated. Menkooroo 08:26, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * "Later, Draco was on Bastion, and, along with Masters Dare, Hogrum Chalk, and Emperor Fel, observed a sparring match between Masters Krieg and Rae that was happening under the direction of Master Treis Sinde." The "was happening" part is overall colloquial and rather confusing as to the chronology of the events.
 * 44) * "Antares Draco's service to the Empire saw him follow in the footsteps of his forefathers; one of his ancestors was a member of the Galactic Empire's Inquisitorius." Why is this in the P&T and not the Bio?
 * 45) * "As of 137 ABY, Draco was the second-in-command of the Imperial Knights; behind Roan Fel, he was the highest-ranking member of the organization and was at the head of its disciplined command structure, a position he earned through years of hard work, discipline, and loyalty." For the most part, same as above.
 * 46) * This is probably the only formatting objection I'm going to make, but please check this reference, as it doesn't seem to be quite correct:
 * 47) * Please fix that missing reference.
 * 48) * "Draco's belief that listening to the Force and heeding one's insights were paramount helped craft him into a cunning, loyal, and very competent warrior." Something isn't matching up here and is interrupting the flow.
 * 49) * "he doubted that their relationship could work": can you rephrase this somehow? It's rather colloquial and confusing.
 * 50) * Context on Palpatine&mdash;yes, context is needed in the Bts, too.
 * 51) **(Hopefully) addressed everything above. Thanks again. Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) *I will be going through this once more after these are fixed. Additionally, please make sure to get my attention after you have updated it with the last issue of Monster so that I can review that as well. (As Cylka noted, that is one of the reasons why many Inqs discourage nominations that do not adhere to Rule 5 because it creates more problems for both them and the nominator.)  CC7567  (talk) 19:12, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) **Will do. I suspect he'll probably be in Legacy 48 as well. Regarding Rule 5, there are a few other Legacy characters that are FA'd, including another prominent Imperial Knight. Just following precedent, is all. Menkooroo 09:17, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***For now, I think it's best if I just review the newer info from the last Monster issue and do a second review overall at the same time to be more efficient. Please make sure to contact me when the article is updated.  CC7567  (talk) 22:29, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era.
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:02, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * As he is a recurring character in an ongoing comic series, I'd suggest that you re-evaluate how well he adheres to FAN Rule 5 of stability if you haven't already done so. The amount that this article has the potential to change over the next few months could slow down the review process, to say the least.  CC7567  (talk) 21:49, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * I've been consistently updating the article the day after a new issue is released, and will continue to do so. Also, historically, Draco's played a big role in a bunch of issues and then disappeared for a year or so. Sure, we can't count on that, but even if he does keep taking center stage, I'll still update the article accordingly. Menkooroo 06:02, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm going to butt in here for just a moment. I agree that you have been updating, but the problem is that it is difficult for us to support the article if it needs to be updated repeatedly since we need to review every time you update. That is what CC is trying to say, I believe. This will definitely slow down, if not halt, the review process, especially since there is a possibility that Draco will continue appearing in the Monster story arc. This is simply something that we want you to be aware of. Cylka  -talk- 16:00, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm Ok with that. It's not like this article is going to pass before Monster is over, anyway. Menkooroo 16:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Then perhaps you should opt to take the nomination down at least until Monster has concluded. Just a suggestion. —Tommy 9281 21:12, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Well, Monster will be over in three weeks. I'd prefer not to shunt this nom back to the bottom of the list, where a nom can take months before getting a single review. I'm just following past precedent; Treis Sinde is an FA and has actually appeared more than Draco in the past fifteen months --- is the need for an FA to be updated any different than the need for a FAN to be updated? Menkooroo 14:08, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Point. For now, I'll follow suit with the clone and give another review after the end of Monster. —Tommy 9281 14:15, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Much appreciated! And the suggestion, too; there are admittedly quite a few policies that I haven't quite mastered the specifics of. Out of genuine curiosity --- if an FA'd character such as Jaina, Jag, Sinde, or Nihl appears in new media, are the inq's who supported its nom supposed to review the new stuff? Or once it passes, is it assumed that the nominator can be trusted to update it at an FA-level of quality? Menkooroo 14:19, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * The second scenario you mentioned applies. If it is found to be lacking, then it goes up on the chopping block. —Tommy 9281 14:30, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Updated for Legacy 46. I mentioned it on CC's talk page, but I'll reiterate here: Even though new info about Draco is coming in the next arc, leaving this nom on the FAN page assures article quality, as it forces me to keep it up-to-date and invites objections to anything that could be improved. The only party who receives any detriments is me, really, as it prevents me from adding any additional noms. If the article were promoted to FA status prior to Issue 49's release, you have my guarantee that I would continue to keep it updated, just as similar FA'd Legacy articles like Treis Sinde are. If not, I'm willing to wait a few more months. Menkooroo 03:51, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Shasa

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:49, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Started off as a baddie, but then was redeemed by Revan. Still falls under "Project: Bad Guys of KotOR", making in Part 5. Also first alien and female character nom. Killing two birds with one stone&hellip;

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Yay! Selkath Force adept charismatic leader! Now with scism! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:15, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:12, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:10, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Please check that the "embassy" capitalization is correct, though&mdash;and be consistent about it.  CC7567  (talk) 22:16, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy has something to say:
 * 2) * Hist: Shasa and several other youths were tricked into joining Manaan's Sith Embassy after an Iridonian mercenary, who was hired by the Sith, lured the youth in the Sith's Embassy Let me see: The Iridonian merc lured Sasha and other youth into the Embassy. So this did not happen before Sasha and the youth were tricked into the Embassy because it's the same event. Maybe I'm wrong but, could you please reword this?
 * 3) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Hist: Galas first mention is when he wants to leave the Sith. Please, mention him before this point - specifically, mention Galas when talking about Shasa's childhood, and talk about the token that Revan would use as a proof. Chronologically, the history could use an autonomous paragraph about her childhood.
 * 5) **I did expand it to three parargaphs, rather than two. Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Hist: Did Galas join when Sasha did, or before her, or after her? Mention Galas whenever he joins the Sith.
 * 7) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Hist: The Sith told Sasha that she and the Selkath could leave whenever they wanted to, but it was a lie. Galas tried to leave. The Sith killed him and told Sasha he had gone. This is important in her history.
 * 9) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Hist: I remember the game. If Revan canonically entered the Embassy on behalf of Shaelas, then Shaelas actively looked for help for his daughter. This is, I think, important enough to be mentioned: Shaelas was worried about Shasa.
 * 11) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * Hist/Legacy: I think some of the articles by Wizards talk about the Selkath having a greater % of Force-sensitive individuals than other species; this should be mentioned when Sasha feels that "Force-sensitive Selkath needed proper training"
 * 13) **I'l look into it. The only thing that come close to what you're saying is in Part 3 of Manaan: Depths of History. It says, "Considering the small population of natives left on the planet, they have discovered a surprising number of candidates, which serves to reinforce the Order's belief that the Selkath have been chosen by the Force for greatness." Should I add this info?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * P&T: However, she sought advice from a Jedi she trusted or from a Force-based tradition with a good reputation, such as the Jal Shey, if darksiders started to advance through her Order's ranks or influenced new members of the Order. Did she? I seem to remember the OS said she could resort to the other traditions if she needed help, as a hook for RPG adventures, but I don't remember a specific precedent of her really resorting to the Jal Shey.
 * 15) **Yes, the KotOR Campaign Guide states this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:41, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * P&A: No way. She did not sense the call of her ancestors (the people she descended from), but a power called Call of the Progenitor, named after a local beast that the Selkath believed to be their evolutive forefather &mdash; something that, as far as I know, canon has neither confirmed or refuted. Besides, this power is only Christened after the Progenitor, and it could be unrelated to him in a strict way. Reword, and context for Progenitor.
 * 17) **The information on the article was based off the description for the power in the KotOR campaign guide. The web enchacement for the guide which gives more details on Shasa also says she used "Progenitor's Call".--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:58, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Please take a look at it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *Except for that little things, great article. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:09, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks for the review, Farl.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, November 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) From the never-ending Pasta Bowl of Fiolli:
 * 22) * "Shasa encountered the amnesiac Jedi Padawan Revan—the former Sith Lord was betrayed by Malak and captured and re-programmed by the Jedi Order to be loyal to the Republic—during his raid of the Sith Embassy." As with before, too much in the em dash clause. The betrayal is irrelevant, and the rest of the wording can be simplified.
 * 23) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *** Can it be reworded so that it is not in an em dash clause and is a simple, passing glance on Revan. This is the introduction, not the main body.
 * 25) ****Reworded. I omitted the Padawan part, since I don't think his position is really relevant to Shasa's intro.
 * 26) * "After Revan proved to Shasa and her friends that the Sith were corrupting them only to gain Manaan's healing agent&hellip;" Please provide a touch more detail in the intro on this, as it isn't as simple as one quick talk between them.
 * 27) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * "Shasa, Galas, and several other youths joined the Sith&hellip;" The intro says they were brainwashed. If this is correct, it needs to be included here, as well to explain why they joined the Sith.
 * 29) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "&hellip;they tortured him to the point where he was nearly dead&hellip;" Can this be worded a little less colloquially? It reads a little weirdly in context.
 * 31) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * Nothing in the legacy that says the order was named for her. Please find a way to include it.
 * 33) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *** Was it actually after her death that her name was taken on as part of the order's name? (By the way, order is not capitalized by itself. It isn't the Jedi Order.)
 * 35) ****I think this was in the KotOR CG, but I'll double check.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:38, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *****I double-checked, and the web enhancement actually states that the Order began to be called the "Order of Shasa" after its founding. Changed to reflect this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:47, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * "Nevertheless, she sought advice from a Jedi she trusted or from a Force-based tradition with a good reputation, such as the Jal Shey, if darksiders started to advance through her order's ranks or influenced new members of the order." This does not quite make sense. It seems like two or three sentences accidentally became spliced together.
 * 38) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * No link to the Selkath language?
 * 40) **Missed this one. Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * "During her time as a Sith adept, Shasa employed a Mandalorian heavy blaster and a Sith energy shield during combat. She also owned a cybernetic implant called the Bavakar cardio package." What in the game actually says this? I'm a touch confused as to how this was learned.
 * 42) **I can answer this one now, if you play the game and kill her, she has this stuff in her remains. The way I see it, she still has this stuff even if you don't kill her.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:58, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ***Normally, I would not stand for this, but I think this is acceptable after looking some things up. That said, please present it as that is what she had at the time she talked to Revan. Just because she had it then does not mean she always had it while in the embassy.
 * 44) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:38, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * "Because Shasa had a natural ability with the Force, she displayed numerous Force powers." Umm&hellip; Relevance? POV? Is skill with the Force always a natural ability? I think you are trying to tie this part of the article together, and I commend that. Still, the wording should be altered so that it fits, is relevant, and does not violate POV and OR rules.
 * 46) **I admit that I probably shouldn't have added the "numerous Force powers," but the natural ability part comes from the web enhancement detailing her character.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * You need GameLSmechanics and Endgame somewhere in the prose.
 * 48) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *Okay. I've made a good number of changes in the text. Please review them to make sure nothing dramatic was altered. If you have any questions as to why things were changed, please ask. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:53, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) **I have no problems with all but one of the changes. The Fira is it's own article, and is not called a fira sword, which is why I had it listed as fira sword . Now it just says fira, if a person wants the exact details, they can click on the link.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) ***Fair enough. I was caught unawares on the details of that one. By the way, this article is one your better ones, Kasra. Good work so far. Keep it going, and take your time to make sure objections are done well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:56, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ****Thanks, Fiolli! Will do.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:38, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) Potatoes (or Potatos?):
 * 54) * "Shasa and her friends joined the Sith, and they brainwashed the Selkath youth..." This doesn't read great. Maybe try "they were brainwashed into joining the Sith" or something.
 * 55) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:49, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * You should mention that she is Force-sensitive early in the body.
 * 57) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:38, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * "who were subject to Manaan's neutrality laws." I feel that this may be a bit confusing for the reader, and could even be removed, or at least rephrased so it's clearer.
 * 59) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:38, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * In the intro you mention that the Order retrained Revan but not in the body.
 * 61) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:38, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * "If darksiders started to advance in her order's ranks or influence new members, Shasa sought advice from a Jedi she trusted. She sought advice from a Force-based tradition with what she perceived as a good reputation, such as the Jal Shey." This bit just kind of jumps out of nowhere and is confusing. If this is too vague, please let me know and I'll try to clarify.
 * 63) **I think I got what you were saying, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:56, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) * Some of the powers mentioned in P&A seem like they may have articles. Please check.
 * 65) **I couldn't find anything.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:38, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * If there are two ways to convince her, why did you choose the one you did? I'm not familiar with KOTOR, so bear with me.
 * 67) **This is the way the Raid on the Sith Embassy article presents the events. Also, after Revan is arrested when exiting the embassy, he presents the datapad to the courts, and they let him go.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:53, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:45, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **Thanks for the review, Chack.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:38, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) More of a question than an objection. BTS mentions two ways that a light-sided Revan can redeem her. Any particular reason that one is favoured over the other in the biography? Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:51, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) *Because that is the way that the Raid on the Sith Embassy article, which is a FA, presents the events. So I thought I should follow this, as well.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:44, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I checked per your resuest, CC, and the dialogue files capitalize the "E" in Embassy. The article now reflects this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:56, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Uthar Wynn

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:49, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part 6 of "Project: Bad Guys of KotOR".

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:55, November 25, 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Skippy has something to say here, too
 * 2) * Footnote 6 (first of BtS) gives some strange error.
 * 3) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * a "full" Sith. "Inverted commas" are not liked in FA's; could you replace them? If it's a direct quotation, you could say "becoming what Wynn called a full Sith"; otherwise, they must be removed altogether.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * to kill Selene, the woman that accompanied Dustil at the Academy. Selene has been given context before; you can remove the last part.
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Unfortunately for Wynn, Revan sided with Ban, having befriended her. Enraged, Wynn went on the attack Again: You've just said that they were friends. Besides: "the" attack? What attack? "Sided with Ban" can easily be understood as merely not attacking her and walking to her side; you should specify whether Revan and/or Ban initiated an attack against Wynn.
 * 9) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * P&T: I guess we do not know when did Wynn tattoo himself: Before becoming headmaster, as a consequence of it...
 * 11) **No, nothing is known about this&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * P&T: First mention to Thalia May and the renegade students. Shouldn't they be mentioned in the Bio? Same for the rogue assassin droid.
 * 13) **I don't know. If I add these instances, I have to add every quest that Revan undertook on Korriban, for 100% game completion. These are relevant in the P&T section, since it explains how Wynn is gullible. Please advise.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:53, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Please take a look at it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:51, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *No more to come. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:11, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Cylka's first look:
 * 17) * In the Jedi Civil War's final year, the Jedi Padawan traveled to Korriban - You need to state who this Jedi Padawan is in the intro. It seems to me that you are missing a sentence or two here.
 * 18) **Please try it. Can't believe this escaped my notice for so long.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * I believe that you should add in the GameLSmechanics template since a player does not need to complete either the Thalia May or droid quest to gain enough prestige. This may mean that you will need to rework the section involving the tasks Revan needed to complete in order to gain prestige. There were quite a few of them. Also the template is needed for Ban's return to the Jedi Order.
 * 20) **True. Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * I think that it would be a good idea to somehow incorporate what Wynn said to each of the hopefuls at the very beginning, when he met them. It would give more depth to his character.
 * 22) **Added a little to the JCW section and more to the P&T.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * I also think that you need to add information from the Double-cross and Double-double-cross quests. This is importsnt in order to show how Wynn planned on disposing of Ban and also why he was weakened during the fight with Ban and Revan.
 * 24) **Added.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * It would be a good idea to add in that Revan's tasks in Sadow's tomb were to be his "final exam." Also, if I remember correctly, Wynn talks a bit at that time and that may be something else that would give a bit more depth to his character.
 * 26) **Got the final exam, will re-read the dialogue files and add as needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:16, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***I think it's good, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) * Please take care of these objections and I'll take another look at the article. So far, so good. I just think it needs to have a bit more information added. Cylka  -talk- 13:11, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **I'll scrounge around for more info in the files, please advise if anything else is needed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:34, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) Cylka's second look:
 * 31) * In the infobox, were the Sith hopefuls actually considered apprentices? As far as I know, Yuthura Ban was the only real apprentice.
 * 32) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * Because of his disdain for his father, Onasi became a promising student. - Is this right? Dustil didn't like his father, but was that what drove him to be a promising student?
 * 34) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * In the Jedi Civil War section I think that you should use Dustil's and Carth's first names since you mention two Onasi men. Just for clarification.
 * 36) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * This distressed Wynn, who felt that such an emotional entanglement would hinder Onasi's progress. - I don't think it was as much the actual emotional entanglement, as much as that she simply wasn't powerful enough. Please clarify that a little more.
 * 38) **Wynn's datapad actually says that it was Dustil's degree of affection for Selene that was slowing down his training.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * When Wynn welcomed the hopefuls he spoke a little about the dark side he saw in each of them. Maybe you could expand this a little.
 * 40) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * I think that you need to add in that Revan could only access the Star Map if he was accepted for academy training - in order to give a little more context on why Revan needed to enter the academy in the first place.
 * 42) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * You need to expand the double-cross section a little bit more - specifically, what was the importance i.e. Revan betrayed Ban to gain a bit more prestige, and then conspired with Ban to weaken Wynn at the final exam. As it stands, the section doesn't explain much. Basically, you want to give context to the section quote.
 * 44) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) * You need to explain specifically why Wynn gave Revan the tasks to accomplish. And did he give them to Revan only, or all of the hopefuls?
 * 46) **He gave them all these tasks, and he only did it to gain more prestige.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * I would add in a little more about the other tasks that would earn prestige with Wynn - such as the holocron quest with Lashowe. You don't need to detail the quests, just simply their outcome. They are all part of revan's interactions with Wynn.
 * 48) **Added a couple more quests, and Wynn's reactions.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * You should add in a bit more about Wynn's death. He some more dialog during that scene and it would give his character a bit more depth.
 * 50) **Added a little more on his death.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * The sub-section name "Endgame" sounds a bit too much like game-mechanics. Maybe you could change it to something like "Defeat" or "Death" or something along those lines.
 * 52) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * I would remove the info about the Ebon Hawk since it is not needed. Simply talk about the Exile exploring the Valley of the Dark Lords.
 * 54) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * I would also suggest that you remove mention of Kreia being Darth Traya. Again, it adds unnecessary information and you would need more context for it. Simply refer to her as Kreia.
 * 56) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * He was not opposed to slavery; when Revan asked the Sith Master about his companions, Wynn said that Revan's "slaves" were irrelevant - This needs a little bit more context. Maybe add the context in the Bio.
 * 58) **Done, I think.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * Wynn was reluctant to talk about his past - If I recall, he mentioned something as to why his past was unimportant.
 * 60) **No, he only said that Revan did not need to know any other info.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * He believed that Naga Sadow was the greatest of Korriban's deceased Dark Lords. - This sentence is sort of tacked onto the end of the paragraph and doesn't really fit well there. Try to place it somewhere else.
 * 62) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * The syntax in the Bts doesn't match up. Please look it over.
 * 64) **Still working on this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:43, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ***OK, I believe this is good, please see how it is.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *Take care of these objections and I'll have another look. Cylka  -talk- 15:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) Pasta-by:
 * 68) * Error in the references.
 * 69) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * The succession box is not complete and needs to be cited to sources that provide dates along with those that provide the fact that the position was held.
 * 71) **The only problem is that there are no specific dates. All we know is that Uln was in charge of the Academy when Revan and Malak recaptured Korriban, and that as tome point during the war, Wynn took it from him, and this could have happened at any point.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:33, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***Fair enough, but with only one other individual and no unique information regarding time, it is completely irrelevant. I've removed it from both articles. If an Inq disagrees, I will speak with them, but I am saying it is irrelevant and unnecessary as it pushes the line of proper succ-box usage. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:41, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) Third time's the charm:
 * 75) *You need to add in something about Revan's companions the first time that Revan talks to Wynn. Otherwise, wynn talking about Revan's allies in the next paragraph doesn't make much sense. Also, make sure to mention that Wynn believed that they were his slaves.
 * 76) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) *When Wynn welcomes the students, please add in that the first of them that gains enough prestige will be worthy of becoming a Sith. That will make things clearer later. I also removed Kel Algwinn as a student since he was already a student at the academy.
 * 78) **Please try it, and yeah, I completely forgot that Algwinn was already there. Thanks---Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) *After learning the Sith Code from Ban, Revan went to Wynn and finished the code as he spoke it. - Please clarify this sentence. I know what it means only because I have played the game.
 * 80) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) *After some thought, I believe that the part about Revan and Carth convining Dustil to turn away from the Sith and leave the academy needs to fall under the section. I can't find any confirmation that this is canon, or that Carth was one of the companions on Korriban. The cut content from TSL won't count as confirmation.
 * 82) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) *After Malak's death at Revan's hands, the remaining Sith on Korriban fought over the right to rule the Sith. The Sith then turned on one another. - Please rewrite this a bit since the second sentence pretty much sounds the same as the first.
 * 84) **After re-reading it, I feel there's no need for the second sentence, so I removed it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) *Please rewrite the intro a bit. The second paragraph seems to be focused too much on Revan.
 * 86) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) *Much better, Kasra! You're almost there. Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:23, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) **Thanks, Cylka!--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Credit goes to Xicer9 for uploading the audio files in the article. Thanks, man.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:46, December 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * I would like to ask why the references to the CSWE keep changing. I think it's essential to list the fact that there is an entry on a character, such as Wynn, in the references, rather than just sourcing it to the CSWE itself. Is it really a big deal to have the reference say ?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:18, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Also, sometimes the entry's name differs from the subject. For example, HK-47's entry it listed as "HK-47 droid, Traavis is listed as "Traavis, General", Karath is listed as "Karath, Admiral Saul", etc.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Ganner Krieg

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 07:00, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ganner? I barely know her.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Kreig's my favorite Imp. Knight, next to Treis Sinde.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:00, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work, but watch your linking. Link directly to article in pipelinks, not through redirects.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:49, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era.
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:02, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Battle of Khorm

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:04, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This one has been sitting on my back for a very long time, but finally it's done. The longest TCW comic battle article (and my own FAN) so far.

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) --ARC-Captain Fordo 21:23, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Kreivi Wolter 11:16, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Okay, but I believe Wolffe is important enough. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:22, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 22:32, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) -- 1358  (Talk) 05:30, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) (Belated) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * "Asajj Ventress tracked and ambushed the remaining two Jedi and their team but did not kill them, as she was recalled back to the processing facility; Ozzel and the clones had escaped." Can you smooth this out somehow? It's rather unclear why the two clauses are linked together.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Adaroo promised his new allies to show a weakness in Gout's lines": please check this; it's not very clear.
 * 5) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 21:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***I was referring to the "to show", which ends abruptly without a direct object&mdash;"show" is a transitive verb. Who or what did Adaroo show the weakness to?  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *Fairly good so far. Will continue with "Turning the tide" soon.  CC7567  (talk) 08:26, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Koon decided to liberate them before attacking and ordered to contact Ozzel and tell him to delay his assault": again, same verb problem. Who did Koon order?
 * 9) * If you use a character's full name once when you first mention him/her, chances are that you won't have to use the full name again. I've corrected all instances, but I'm not sure why this inconsistency is suddenly popping up, as I've never noticed it in your writing. Please take note of this.
 * 10) * Can you please lessen the excessive usages of "plan" throughout the article?
 * 11) *I'll try to make sure to go over the article with you once more after these have been fixed, but please be careful when proofreading. Just about all of the things I corrected in my copy-edit were related to grammar, which I know you can do better on.  CC7567  (talk) 05:02, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **All have been addressed, I believe. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:31, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) Lee's comment
 * 14) * Wollfe should be in the notable participants part.
 * 15) **I thought about including him there, actually, but then I decided against it as the Republic section was already overcrowded compared with the CIS. I can still add him, but I don't think it's that necessary. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:31, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *That's all. Good work. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:35, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Attack II
 * 18) * "Discovering this, the Jedi decided to free the hostages before initiating a full-scale attack, but Ozzel had already launched an assault by that time." The chronology here is rather confusing and dizzying; please smooth it out.
 * 19) **Try this.
 * 20) * "As the few remaining troops became surrounded by the droids, Major Ozzel panicked and told Wolffe to signal the Separatists of the Republic's surrender." So did they surrender? How is this relevant? What did Wolffe or Ozzel do? With its current wording, it seems like extraneous and irrelevant information.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * "The two Jedi Masters faced off against Ventress and offered her to surrender": very awkward phrasing and grammar.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * "Accompanied by her droid commandos, Ventress initiated a search for any survivors and killed those that she found." Specifically survivors of the avalanche? Please clarify.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * "Ozzel's decisions turned out for worse for the Republic": rather awkward wording that doesn't really adhere to any common expressions. Please try to reword.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * Please decide on the tense in the Bts and use it; the shift isn't working out very well.  CC7567  (talk) 04:18, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:22, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Sigel Dare

 * Nominated by: Menkooroo 13:55, December 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Die in the name of the true Emperor!

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) It is good to see the three main Imp. Knights put for the FA's.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:42, December 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Part of WookieeProject Legacy Era
 * Updated for Issue 43 of Legacy. Menkooroo 13:35, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * And for Issue 45. Menkooroo 13:03, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Khar Delba

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 00:09, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Eh.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:57, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * That it was home to Sadow's base is mentioned twice in the intro.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) ***I actually meant that it's in the first sentence too. It seems funny to mention it there, go back to description of the planet and then bring it up again. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:08, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Addressed.
 * 6) * Infobox shows the Sith as natives and war behemoths as immigrated which contradicts the description section.
 * 7) **Whoops. Must've put it in the wrong place. Addressed.
 * 8) * Inhabitants seems really short. A brief bit on Sadow and Daragon wouldn't go amiss. Neither would some info on his followers. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:35, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) **I added what I can.
 * 10) ***I still think it can have a bit more detail. You don't mention the Sith at all, despite them being listed as a native species in the infobox and it needs some context on who the Massassi are. I know it's in history, but touching on when the Sith first took control of the world and how long they were there for would fit in here too. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:08, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ****Addressed.
 * 12) Attack of the Clone
 * 13) *"his real base was on Khar Shian": link? In the body too, please.
 * 14) *"Sadow launched an attack": link?
 * 15) *"Kressh's lone flagship": does this have an individual article, and if not, can it get one?  CC7567  (talk) 22:30, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Second Battle of Geonosis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 01:36, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: FAN, TCW has returned. Thank you very much to for helping out with the initial stages of the article.

(0 Inqs/6 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very good Commander Rex, you are apparently strong in the Force.--Sean Red 17:26, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Captain Rex  JangFett  (Talk) 21:55, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yes, thank you, Jang.  CC7567  (talk) 22:04, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Great job, CC7567! I have seen your article from start to finish and I must say: it looks fantastic. --<Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman <Font color="SaddleBrown">No, I did NOT steal your droid! 18:12, December 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Flamethrowers! Menkooroo 16:55, December 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Good job as always, CC.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:32, December 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  11:09, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Will Coric or the Battle Dorin appear here of at the GAN page soon ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:14, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Doubtful.  CC7567  (talk) 19:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A quick glance:
 * 2) * Bts refers to Ki-Adi and Barriss as Expanded Universe characters --- they're actually both from the films.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Aftermath: It ends on a cliffhanger; the suspense is killing me! Maybe a sentence or two indicating that the dire fight for survival was won by the goodguys would give the article closure while avoiding veering into irrelevant territory.
 * 5) **I'm sorry, but I honestly don't feel it's entirely relevant, and there always ends up being more information than there should be. The article to the Skirmish is already linked if the reader finds it interesting.
 * 6) ***Well, as the brain worms came from the battle itself, I think it's relevant as a quick note in "aftermath" --- even just an additional half-sentence at the end saying "an attempt that ultimately failed" or something? If not, no worries, but I thought I'd try one more time. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ****My view still stands on the matter.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****Can't blame a guy for trying. :^P
 * 9) * Second paragraph of intro --- Ahsoka and Barris sneaked into the facility --- should it be snuck?
 * 10) **"Snuck" is less formal and mostly less used; "sneaked" is more appropriate in this case.
 * 11) *Will definitely give it a full review within the week! Menkooroo 08:47, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 18:28, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Full review!
 * 14) * Second paragraph of intro: "Tano and Offee" is used twice in close succession. Maybe change the second instance to something like "The pair" or "The two padawans"?
 * 15) **I feel that being more consistent is better in this case, and it also leaves no room for speculation that "the pair" could refer to their Masters instead.
 * 16) * Image caption punctuation: I'm not sure if it's an actual policy or not, but as far as I know, only complete sentences are to end in punctuation. For example, a descriptive caption like "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land" should not, while "The Republic gunships were ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land", recalling an actual event, should. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am, I apologize.
 * 17) **I'm not sure I understand your reasoning. Whether "The Republic gunships are ravaged by Geonosian gunners while attempting to land." is "descriptive" or not, it's still a sentence as defined by the English language.
 * 18) ***Going by what I gathered from Havac's Darth Caedus article: A sentence describing what's happening in the picture, in present tense, shouldn't end with a sentence, whereas something in past tense should. I don't think too many Wookieepedians are clear on the matter, and there are a lot of FA's that don't follow it, so I'll strike the objection. I'm not sure if it's an actual policy, either, actually.
 * 19) * Penultimate paragraph of Rough Landing opens with "Having spent the time reallocated resources since Commander Jet's previous request," --- Is this supposed to be "reallocating"?
 * 20) **Yes, thank you for catching that. Fixed.
 * 21) * Final sentence of final paragraph of that section also runs on for a long time without any punctuation; some rewording might help make it read less awkwardly.
 * 22) **Adjusted.
 * 23) * Attack on the Main Foundry: "Skywalker and Unduli swung under the bridge and across its underbelly" --- context on what they used to swing?
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) * Also in that section: "grimly but alive"... should it be "grim but alive"?
 * 26) **Actually, it was supposed to be "grimy." Fixed.
 * 27) * The Geonosians' Threat: The Geonosians are referred to as "insects" at one point; Note the difference between insects and insectoids.
 * 28) **Fixed.
 * 29) * I'd like to see a quick note made on Queen Karina's prodigious size. Very nitpicky things that hardly detract from a fantastic article; great use of the episode guides as sources. A very good read. Menkooroo 01:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thanks very much for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:33, December 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Fett takes a look (Yes, my head is still intact)
 * 32) * "also known simply as the Battle of Geonosis" I would remove this bit from the intro, CC. Seeing that another official source from SW.com corrected themselves by stating this was the Second Battle of Geonosis. The Battle of Geonosis was the beginning battle of the Clone Wars, which obviously wasn't this CW battle.
 * 33) **Removed.
 * 34) * Afterward, you say "early in the Clone Wars". Due to the unestablished CW timeline, I would replace it with "around 22 BBY," as always when it comes to TCW battle articles. I didn't wanted to replace it myself, because I wanted you to decide.
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * Do you have any source indicating that the Battle of Geonosis was "historic"? Kinda OR/ POV if not.
 * 37) **Removed.
 * 38) * "In the midst of the ongoing fight against the Geonosians, Captain Rex contacted Commander Cody to request reinforcements for Skywalker but found that Kenobi would be unable to give support, as Kenobi himself had been shot down" If you read the end of this sentence, it sounds like Kenobi was killed.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) *Other than that, great work CC. I made some minor edits too during my copyedit. Feel free to change them if you like. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 06:09, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thank you for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 08:04, January 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) Only one little thing: at the end of Weapons Factory, I think the exchange between Luminara and Anakin about accepting that their Padawans may have died and that Anakin was less willing to do so is worth a mention, otherwise they may not have rescued the Padawans. Nevertheless, a superb job as always CC.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:26, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) *I have to disagree; Tano's own actions were what saved her and Offee, not their Masters' worrying over them. Regardless of how notable Skywalker's and Unduli's views were, they did not have a direct affect on the battle and belong in the character articles, not that of the battle. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 04:02, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) Xd
 * 45) * Do we really add a &dagger; after destroyed ships? Xd1358  Talk 20:53, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) **To my knowledge, yes.  CC7567  (talk) 02:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ***I should've checked if first, sorry.
 * 48) * One more: I think you should mention the year in the prelude to give the reader an idea when it was. Xd1358  Talk 05:43, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) **It's already linked in there for the reader's use, and I'm personally getting tired of the blatant "around 22 BBY" that is becoming trademark on all TCW articles. It doesn't have to be stated outright for the reader to pick it up.  CC7567  (talk) 06:44, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Fair enough. But you're right, the 22 BBY is getting a bit boring. Xd1358  Talk 13:19, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is just pettifogging, not really an objection: is Poggle called as Archduke in any of the episodes he appears during this battle? In Weapons Factory, he is called as a Warlord. Maybe this is not worth to even debate, but as the article Mission to Rugosa describes Ventress as a Supreme Leader (which she was called in the episode), thought all the other battles calls her just commander, should the title Archduke be changed as Warlord in this article? Kreivi Wolter 16:36, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Regardless of what the episodes call him, Poggle is an Archduke. It's his proper title.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:38, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yup. Btw, does the title of a character needs to be sourced in the articles like this? We all know of course that Poggle is an Archduke, but the title isn't mentioned in Landing at Point Rain, which currently sources Poggle in the infobox. Kreivi Wolter 16:46, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Changed to "Warlord" and sourced to Weapons Factory to avoid any confusion.  CC7567  (talk) 21:12, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Okay. Asking ends here. Kreivi Wolter 21:23, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Vor

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:31, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Short name, long article. One of these species of WP:AS.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) The coolest reptavimammals in the Star Wars galaxy. I eagerly await the next alien from Farlstendoiro. ~ SavageBob 07:17, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 10:19, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Intro is way too short.  Xd1358  Talk 18:48, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:06, January 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 4) * Can you mention that they are a sentient species in the first sentence of the lead? Without the picture, they could be a human race, or even a conglomeration of many species, so it's best to be specific up front.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * "reptilian mammals"? Isn't that an oxymoron? Should they be classified as reptomammals? Go with that the sources say, but this was confusing (ah, Star Wars)!
 * 7) **No: Some sources say reptilians, some say mammals, none sais reptomammals; there's a note in BtS about it. Done nothing.
 * 8) * "capable of creating great beauty through their music" --> Do they consider this beauty, or do outsiders, or do both? It would be good to say, so that this line doesn't come off as POV-ish.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * "Unfortunately, the Empire..." --> Be careful of ''unfortunately" inn the lead.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Can you mention what sector their world was in at some point in the article?
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) * The images make it seem that other colors than green were possible for their skin (I notice this a lot with Star Wars art; the artists take a lot of leeway with text descriptions).
 * 15) **Done nothing. That could be a light trick or war paints, and the source mentioning skin colors is explicit and determinant.
 * 16) *** Fair point; in that case, can you add something to either BTS or at least a footnote mentioning that images show them with yellows and browns as well? ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Done.
 * 18) * Do the sources call their beak "vestigial"? It's hard to imagine that they didn't still use it, to talk, eat, etc.
 * 19) **Done nothing. Jedi Academy Sourcebook says so explicitly.
 * 20) ***Someone at WEG didn't understand what "vestigial" means, but OK. ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * There's some present tense mixed into the "Biology" section, so be careful.
 * 22) **Done.
 * 23) * "Until that time, let no music sound. No pipe shall be blown, nor voiced raised in song. It would be a mockery of our broken sacred place. In silence the first Cathedral was born, so it will be again. Let all heed this command." Should that be "voice" rather than "voiced"? I would just change it myself, but since it's a direct quote, I wanted to be sure.
 * 24) **Done. Good one, btw.
 * 25) * Again, "the voice... was particularly beautiful . . . " In the eye of which beholder?
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) * Can you combine some of the shorter paragraphs with others? Particularly, the one about the treaty of the Vors being signed and the one about their alignment during the Clone Wars are very short.
 * 28) **Done.
 * 29) * "six other avians" --> I thought they were reptile/mammals, not avians?
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * "so-called Galactic Empire" --> I don't think the "so-called" is necessary; it was the Galactic Empire!
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "ceased to appreciate the visit of aliens." --> This is a bit confusing. Did they stop allowing visitors to come to their planet? Or they just didn't think much of such visits anymore?
 * 34) **Done.
 * 35) * Ackbar's crash into the Cathedral of the Winds and the aftermath are well described, but the section is pretty long as well and more detailed than any other part of the article. I'd suggest condensing the section considerably and moving the longer version to a new article, titled however you see fit. Ideally, I'd say you need a paragraph about initial overtures and the crash, a paragraph about the Vor reconstruction, a paragraph about the New Republic response (Ackbar's resignation, Wedge and Qwi's visit), and a paragraph about the resolution of the investigation and reopening of the cathedral.
 * 36) **Done!
 * 37) * I'm not sure why Qwi Xux's moving to Vortex is relevant to the species article; I'd suggest cutting this.
 * 38) **Modified, so it mentions that Vors are welcoming visitors once again, which I think is important. What do you think now?
 * 39) ***The article doesn't need the note that her memory of the event was so strong it couldn't be wiped, but it's much better now. ~ SavageBob 00:00, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) *** This objection take a bit closer of a look, so I'll get back to you later today. ~ SavageBob 16:39, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * Perhaps the fact that they lack any hair should be mentioned in "Biology and culture"?
 * 42) **Done.
 * 43) * Again, why "so-called" Battle of Vortex? Either it was or wasn't a battle...
 * 44) **Done.
 * 45) * Again, be careful with the "unfortunately" in the description of the battle.
 * 46) **Done.
 * 47) * In the paragraph about the smugglers' alliance, Calrissian, etc., it's unclear how this has anything to do with Vors. I'm guessing one of these characters discussed is a Vor, but could you clarify who?
 * 48) **Done.
 * 49) * Do we have an aerobat article? If not, please link the term and make one. Sounds fun!
 * 50) **Done.
 * 51) * You mention several offworld Vors in the History section (particularly the last few paragraphs); perhaps mention again some of the worlds Vors were known to reside on in the "Vors in the galaxy" section.
 * 52) **Done.
 * 53) * Can you beef up your captions a bit? Also, it might be a good idea to move pictures closer to text to make the images more illustrative. For example, the Cathedral of the Winds image could be moved to the section of the article talking about that structure.
 * 54) **Done.
 * 55) * I'll copy edit the article when I get a chance. Good work so far, as always. ~ SavageBob 17:21, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **One objection pending. Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:14, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **All done now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:38, January 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *** Let me copy edit the article, then I will support! ~ SavageBob 00:00, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "Vor was the name of the only sentient species..." This sounds odd to me. Why the emphasis on their being the only native sentients? Most of our species articles don't do this. I'm also not sure the pronunciation is necessarily; I can't really think of another way to pronounce "Vor" than to rhyme with "for" and "bore."
 * 60) ** Both removed, even if I digress. "only" added to article on Vortex.
 * 61) * Does the Jedi Academy Sourcebook specifically call them avians? Avian redirects to bird, so if so, we need to adjust our articles!
 * 62) ** Page 117. Omniscient narrator might be metaphorical, but I doubt it.
 * 63) ** "The Vors are delicate hollow-bone reptilian avian humanoids who ride the winds on lacy wings"
 * 64) *** Ay-ay-ay... Now they are reptiles, birds, and mammals? C'mon, SW expanded universe authors! :) I suppose that the discussion of their avian-ness should go together where you describe them as mammals and reptiles, then, since they are apparently now part of three families instead of two. I looked up "avian" and, really, the only definition for the word is "of or having to do with birds," so I'm not sure there's any other way. :/ ~ SavageBob 18:17, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ****Give it a try. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:12, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * You need a source after "with mammalian features." Sorry if I accidentally deleted it in my copy edit. Did I?
 * 67) ** Re-added. Tsk, tsk ·;)
 * 68) * What do you mean by their eyes occasionally being covered by lids? Did some members of the species not have eyelids, or do you mean they sometimes closed their eyes?
 * 69) ** Uh, modified.
 * 70) * Should the bit about their intelligence go under "society and culture"? I think at least the bit about their being able to work together well should, but maybe all of it would fit in better one section down. I may have more as I continue the copy edit. Désolé! ~ SavageBob 06:36, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) ** Added info to note why it shouldn't go there. And, feel free to keep going, do you worst `:) Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:31, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) *** Bwahahahaha! :P More to come as I copy edit the other sections, maybe. ~ SavageBob 18:17, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) * OK, in "Society and culture", the first and second paragraphs both basically say that they were seemingly emotionless but not really, and here's why. The third paragraph, too, has some overlap, where you talk about how they try to avoid conflict. I'm wondering if they should be combined, or perhaps rewritten so that you have one paragraph about how they appear to outsiders, then another paragraph about the true situation (about how they stifle their emotions to maintain harmony and work for the big picture). What do you think? ~ SavageBob 19:32, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) **Modified to use 1st paragraph to talk about the alien impression; 2nd to talk about the reality Vors hide, and 3rd for anything else. Tell me if you like it.
 * 75) * "Those winds were very influential on Vor culture." Can you say how?
 * 76) **Hmmm... Don't know what I had in mind when I wrote that. Removed.
 * 77) * "which served as their homeworld before any other consideration." I'm not sure what this means. What other consideration?
 * 78) **Official alien classification: Homeworld instead of trading center, stronghold or anything. Modified. Better?
 * 79) * What does "stethyc" mean? I can't find a definition online. ~ SavageBob 21:15, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 80) **Fixed. I went back to the source as I was spellchecking it, and the source said "aesthetic." -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 03:53, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Was the Cathedral of the Winds only made centuries before 0 BBY? I think the Atlas says that it was millennia before, since it was a Wonder of the Galaxy.
 * 82) ** Atlas supersedes previous sources; modified.
 * 83) * Can you explain "forecasted event"? It was predicted each year? ~ SavageBob 21:28, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) ** "Eagerly awaited"?
 * 85) * Do we know that they sided with the Republic in the Clone Wars, or just that their planet fell in Republic-controlled territory?
 * 86) ** Modified.
 * 87) * Do we know who retired the initial offer to join the New Republic? It would be nice to know whether the Republic or the Vors did this, if the sources specify.
 * 88) ** Sources specify that the Vors did nothing like that. So, it must have been Mothma.
 * 89) * I still think the first paragraph of "New Jedi Order and beyond" is beyond the scope of this article, more appropriate to Vortex maybe. I think it's OK to mention Xux going there and being given the job of her choice, but the fact that Luke came to visit and she was torn up about the flute incident, and Dae'shara-whatever was there, these all seem superfluous. The population is important to note, however.
 * 90) ** OK.
 * 91) * Why did they respect Jaina Solo? Do we know?
 * 92) ** I think because she was a war hero, but OS is not really that specific.
 * 93) * Do we know how the Hutt was treated like a Vor? What does it mean to be treated like a Vor? That would be good info to add if it's known.
 * 94) ** Expanded. Better?
 * 95) * "the threat was weighed up" --> can you elaborate what is meant here? Will get to the final two sections soon! ~ SavageBob 19:01, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) ** Expanded. Better?
 * 97) * What is meant by "the dominant tendencies of the galaxy"? Do you mean trends, styles, that kind of thing?
 * 98) ** Yep. Modified.
 * 99) * Do the sources say how aerobats make a living? Do they daredevil fly for their own fun, or do they perform, or what?
 * 100) ** Seriously, I can't say anything else about aerobats without assuming.
 * 101) * The bit about Vortex's spaceport seems more appropriate to "Society and culture" since it doesn't deal with Vors offworld. ~ SavageBob 16:56, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 102) ** OK. Have a look now.Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:56, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) *** One last objection pending (the bit about them being birds as well as mammals and reptiles). The article is looking very, very nice. ~ SavageBob 15:56, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 104) ****Should be done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:12, January 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) Eyrezer:
 * 106) * Can you recrop the image of the Vor from UAA to include the Vratix? No need for it to be half cropped out like that.
 * 107) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:45, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) * Can you add more to the Biol and appearance section about the limbs/hands/feet digits, including the webbing between digits, etc?
 * 109) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) ***It looks like they only have three toes as against four fingers. Can you add something on this?
 * 111) ****Added.
 * 112) * The UAA image looks to be yellow in colour. Can you incorporate this into the article?
 * 113) **As the image contradicts other sources, that info is already under BtS. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) * "the Republic retired the initial offer to join that collective." This is not very clear. Can you reword it? --Eyrezer 08:33, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:35, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) * "but the Vors could both fly and guide with their wings". Is that meant to be glide with their wings?
 * 117) **Good catch. Changed.
 * 118) * I know your preference is to reference to more than one source, but the phrase "using their wings along with their hollow bones" has 5 sources. Can you cut out a couple of these? It seems overkill for such a short line.
 * 119) **Grumble grumble. Better?
 * 120) * I added two mentions from the Jedi Counseling series. The second one may have some info you would like to include regarding the ability to use their hands while flying... up to you. --Eyrezer 04:08, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) **Both added, although I haven't modified the image caption to say that this Vratix and this Vor were friends; I'm never sure if the JC captions are serious or not. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 122) * Is there any way you can add in something about the Goa lawah? I know there is very little on them in EGPM, but if you could work ithem in somehow, I think that would be a good idea.
 * 123) **Added.
 * 124) * In the habitat subsection, could you add the detail from the EGAS on the colours of the plain grasses? --Eyrezer 02:56, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) **Added.
 * 126) * Have you considered mentioning vors-glass? --Eyrezer 05:30, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) **Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:34, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 128) * "sometimes covering them with their own bodies,[1][2][3][4][5][8]" Way too excessive referencing.
 * 129) **Still digress, but done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:14, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) * "re-echoing, plaintive sound[1] was known as the music of the winds.[1][5]" Could this all be referenced to [1]? --Eyrezer 03:34, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 131) **Guess so. Done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:14, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Later that same year, with the war intensifying," You need to actually mention what the war is here. --Eyrezer 09:22, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 133) **Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:13, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * "[T]hey lived in underground hummocks." I learned a new word, thanks! :) ~ SavageBob 17:21, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Duel on Kuar

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 06:02, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:A Good article that made it over the FAN hump courtesy of the latest KOTOR issue. The "Indomitable" Mandalore gets PWNED.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 16:36, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) You gotta admit, the image from KotOR 48 is sweet.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:48, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Council Chambers:
 * 2) * Is there a reason for listing the Mandalorian warriors and Krath soldiers in the infobox? IMO since they didn't actually participate in any way, they shouldn't be listed.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Is the name "Battle of Kuar" explicitly referenced in any canonical source? Unless it is, this should probably be moved to Duel on Kuar per that comment on the talk page.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *Otherwise, great job as usual. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 00:31, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for your help and review, Master Jonathan. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 00:44, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Since the article is conjecturally titled, the literal title should not be bolded in the intro, just the word(s) that best describe the event. Try "A duel occurred on the planet Kuar&hellip;"
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * There are two instances of "Battle of Kuar" left in the BTS that now need to be reworded.
 * 11) **That's what I get for being hasty, lol. Addressed.
 * 12) *** Still one left: "Anderson used the comic Edge of the Whirlwind, along with the Battle of Kuar,"
 * 13) ****Got it.
 * 14) *That should be it. :) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 00:51, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks again, MJ> —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 01:03, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) or Krath Sith sorceress Aleema Keto&hellip; I know what you mean, but those unfamiliar with the subject material might not. Can you reword this so show that she was a Sith aligned with the Krath? That's it. Good job as usual, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:05, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *Changed it to "co-commander." See if that's good, and thanks for the review JK. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 00:48, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **That's good. Great job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:48, January 19, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Lumiya's lightwhip

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:07, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bad chick wit' a weapon&mdash;metal, leather, & light; somethin special, not yo average, baddest lil' thing in sight&hellip;

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 08:28, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) I didn't find much wrong with the article. However, the lightwhip was packaged along with Lumiya, Luke Skywalker, and his lightsabers in the comic pack with Star Wars 96. Can you add this in the BTS? --Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:01, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *All set. Thanks a lot for the review and that bit of information. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 20:49, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **The rest of the article looks good to me. Good job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Cylka:
 * 5) * In the intro it isn't clear that Luke Skywalker is the Jedi Master Lumiya is fighting since you had referred to Skywalker as a Jedi Knight earlier.
 * 6) **Addressed. —Tommy 9281 15:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Lumiya's was quite unique; along with several filaments of yellow plasma - When you are describing the three extension types here, could you just add in that they are "extension types." It will then make things clearer in the next paragraph.
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * Severe wounds could also be inflicted by them even after the device was deactivated. - I'm pretty sure I know what you mean by this sentence, but could you specify what "them" and "device" are.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * allowed her to maintain control of situations where the weapon's use was required - This makes it sound as if she used a variety of weapons in her battles. Could you clear this up a bit.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * Lumiya was tasked with the creation of her own Jedi weapon. - Should the phrase "Jedi weapon" be used here since she is always referred to as Sith?
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) * was the legend of the abominable cyborg Lumiya - This sounds a bit POVish. Is that what was found in the source?
 * 16) **Sort of, but I've changed it to read more encyclopedic. Addressed.
 * 17) * In the intro you name Skywalker a Jedi Knight during their first battle, and later a Jedi Master but that isn't continued in the bio. Skywalker's Jedi ranks aren't used consistently and this may interrupt the flow of the article a bit.
 * 18) **I removed the usage in the intro so that it is more consistent with the rest of the article. Addressed.
 * 19) * I'm not sure that I would label their duel on Roqoo Depot a "quarrel." The word quarrel implies more of a verbal exchange than a physical one.
 * 20) **I thought about that too. Addressed.
 * 21) *A really interesting topic, Tommy! <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 03:47, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Thanks for the review, Cylka. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 15:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * has already been asked to provide rescans for the three poor-quality images. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:07, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * Red has come thru yet again in the clutch. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:46, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * And here's that for the comic pack link for you. According to it, Lumiya is an all new figure. .--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:33, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you sooooo much for that, Kasra. I owe you one. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 20:49, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:10, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is it OK to use RebeScum's photos without permission? I know LucasFilm doesn't care if we use stuff fair use, but RebelScum might. It's often safer to use Hasbro's official photos (like this one), or to just email RebelScum and ask. ~ SavageBob 03:11, January 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * I discussed this with several Admins (who also happen to be Inquisitors) and they gave me the OK to use the image. In the event that something changes, I have no problem taking it down. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:39, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Rianna Saren

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:22, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first-ever GA, now complete with the PSP info and (I believe) worthy of the shiny star.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good job. -- Xd 15:06, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice work, QuiGon.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Not really objection worthy, but could you mention in the BTS that she received an entry in the CSWE?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:12, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem, done. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 19:59, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Kul Teska

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 20:38, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He was&hellip;kinda useless.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) I've waited nearly 2 weeks to this nomination : ) Kreivi Wolter 21:22, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

N-K Necrosis

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 20:27, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Grievous Reloaded.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 11:03, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:07, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- 1358  ( Talk ) 17:19, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) A few quick ones...
 * 2) * The intro needs to be shortened.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * "this article assumes that the story's assumption is correct." Which story? Lord of War ' s or Galaxies?
 * 5) **Ah, thanks for catching that. Fixed.
 * 6) ***Stricken, but I had to reword it for clarity.
 * 7) * The homeworld field doesn't make sense.
 * 8) **Addressed
 * 9) * How did the study of death help him establish an advanced droid brain?
 * 10) **Lord of War doesn't really explain this concept a lot, but I fixed what was said in the creation section.
 * 11) ***The statement still seems out of place. Try to make it fit into the flow of the paragraph or remove it.
 * 12) * The creation section needs to be more focused on the droid itself and a bit less focused on Lorn and Kinesworthy.
 * 13) **Hopefully this is fixed.
 * 14) ***I'd still like to see much of the first two bio paragraphs pared down and streamlined.
 * 15) * Droids don't have P&Ts or P&As.
 * 16) **Yes, I forgot about this. Addressed.
 * 17) *Linking and grammar issues throughout.
 * 18) **Went back and gave the article another copyedit.
 * 19) *More to come, this was just from a glance at the article. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:50, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 21) * I've only skimmed the article, but here's what I've noticed so far. First, be sure to put the part about the spacers beating him within some sort of template that alerts readers that this scenario potentially goes differently. The and  templates might work; I'm not sure if there's a different one for a video game as opposed to a standard RPG. For example, a group of players who are weakened from other battles might not easily get past the B-1 battle droid, and some players may have missed the loot or simply decided not to take it. Unless the Peña article establishes canonically that things went down like this. Is that the case?
 * 22) **Actually, it seems that you're not familiar with Galaxies. That specific battle droid is only an NPC that you talk to. Everyone basically can "get through with ease". But the tags have been added for those who haven't played Galaxies.
 * 23) * Second, I'd remove the "unidentified" part of the description of the spacers that beat the droid. It should be enough just to call them spacers.
 * 24) **Addressed
 * 25) * I don't think you need to set aside one-paragraph sections with subheads (such as "inconsistencies"). Readers will figure out you're talking about a new topic by the paragraph break alone. I'll get have some more comments later. Hope these help! ~ SavageBob 17:49, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Addressed, and thanks. :)
 * 27) Return of the Sith Empire
 * 28) * In the intro, I don't think Merili's important enough to be mentioned. If you insist on keeping her, give her context and link her.
 * 29) **Hope this helps.
 * 30) * "Doctor Nycolai Kinesworthy, also a cybernetic scientist," - when you say also, that implies that either someone else is a cyberneticist too, or that he is something else in addition to being a cybernetic scientist. The article is unclear. Usually I would fix this myself, but there are several instances of strange wording and unneccesary word usage throughout the article I would like you to catch for yourself.
 * 31) **Addressed.
 * 32) * "which contained the dust collecting droid body of General Grievous." - another example of silly diction. These, along with syntax errors and the like, need a lot of work.
 * 33) **Addressed
 * 34) * "The droids, whom served as Necrosis' bodyguards, taught the newly reanimated Grievous how..." - calling it the newly reanimated Grievous implies that is IS Grievous resurrected.
 * 35) **Addressed
 * 36) * Zannah doesn't need a mention in the intro.
 * 37) **Addressed
 * 38) * What led the spacers to destroy Necrosis? You need to explain that in the intro.
 * 39) *This is all from the intro. I'll come back and work through "Creation" soon. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:03, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) As I explained repeatedly in our IRC discussion, you have serious issues in your interpretation of the differences between LoW and Galaxies. The contradiction that you claim exists simply doesn't, and it looks to me like its rooted in your unwillingness to make major changes to the article. I'll say it one last time: LoW appears to give an abbreviated account of the droid's destruction, while Galaxies, being the primary source, shows all the events in detail. It's not a contradiction, but rather different ways of telling a story. This issue will remain as an objection until you either satisfactorily PROVE that the absence from LoW is an intended difference or you address the problem and add the Galaxies information to your article.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 04:49, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) * For now, work on fixing the choppiness of your sentences and transitioning. It seems like a listing of events as it stands now. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 07:39, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) The template mentions that there are alternate paths present in the BTS. I'm assuming that the player can choose to skip N-K. However, I'm not sure if/in what form this info merits inclusion, so when you see me in IRC, PM me and we can discuss this.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:16, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) Another: You need to mention the Kaleesh earlier, because otherwise, this sentence makes no sense, as it lacks context. "It was rumored that Necrosis' armorplast mask had been bought by a high-ranking Imperial Admiral who displayed it as a Kaleesh work of art."  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 02:36, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) *I actually removed that bit, as it was slightly confusing.  JangFett  (Talk) 07:23, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Not really an objection, just asking: can this image be included in the article at all? Kreivi Wolter 21:51, February 6, 2010 (UTC)

Eurrsk Thri'ag

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 23:35, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The product of over six months worth of procastination

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Battle of Foerost (Great Sith War)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:46, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A current GA that I brought to 1,079 words, thanks to new information from the latest issue of KOTOR.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good job as usual, Tommy. Gotta love KotOR.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:36, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) LtNOWIS 22:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:50, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Well done.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:09, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 22:42, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 15:39, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) LtNOWIS
 * 2) *Just a few word choice issues.
 * 3) * For hundreds of years, the facility had churned out warships – "churned out" could probably be replaced by "produced" or something to be more encyclopedic.
 * 4) **Addressed.
 * 5) * The shipyards were quickly overrun, due largely to the savagery of the Mandalorians. – this seems to be in violation of NPOV
 * 6) **Try that.
 * 7) * The Krath forces then pulled out, abandoning the ravaged shipyards. – "ravaged" as well is a POV term.
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) *Other than that, it looks good. -LtNOWIS 03:40, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Thanks for the review, LtNOWIS. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 05:26, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Omwati

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Exotic, cute alien species. Like Qwi Xux. Remember Qwi? Wedge's girlfriend from the 1990s? Oh, don't you read the classics anymore? ·:P

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Won't object till I'm blue in the face. ~ SavageBob 22:10, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Pasta noodle-by: There are far, far, far too many one sentence quasi-paragraphs. Please lace these together as best as possible into something cohesive. It seems that many could be easily related without getting into conjecture, OR, or other nasty things. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:49, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:05, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 4) * "Omwati children had specially receptive minds that could be strengthened with the proper training." How is this different from any other sapient species?
 * 5) **It's to a greater extent. Added.
 * 6) * "they even developed their own Force tradition." Can you say what it is in the lead?
 * 7) **OS doesn't say much about that. Added what I could.
 * 8) * Is there a reason that centimeters are used for their height? Most alien species articles use meters.
 * 9) **Changed.
 * 10) * I'm not sure it's necessary to compare their lifespan to a human's; it should be enough to say that they are mature at this age and can expect to live at that age. Is there any more information on their life cycle? When do they begin adolescence, for instance?
 * 11) **Changed.
 * 12) * No BTS info from Alien Anthology or Ultimate Alien Anthology (or the WEG stuff)? How do the RPGs distinguish the Omwati from other species? Do they get any special abilities or deficits?
 * 13) **I tried to include the info in the body but, as this was explictly asked: Added.
 * 14) * Otherwise needs a copy edit, but then it'll be good. I'll see what I can do in the next few days. Good work! ~ SavageBob 22:05, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you for the review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:57, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Just a bit more: What does it mean for their hair to be "opal-irised"?
 * 17) **Typo. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * What does it mean that a young Omwati's mind can be "broken"? Does he or she go crazy?
 * 19) **OS doesn't offer a thorough diagnosis, but detailed as a medical collpase.
 * 20) * "tonally strange" -- from who's perspective? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) **The narrator of a RPG book: "An elegant language with a number of odd tonal inflections.", UAA, p117. Nonetheless, changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * I'll copy edit "History" soon and then will be happy to support! ~ SavageBob 00:32, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *** One last thing: The article says that Tarkin took several hundred bright young Omwati, but then we're told he only had 10. What happened to all the others? ~ SavageBob 18:25, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ****No: He recruited hundreds, and took ten of them to that particular class. Added more detailed info on what happened to the others, trying hard not to OR. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:52, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Gelesi

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:22, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I have to at least try this one once more.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) You need to add the fact that he received an entry in the CSWE, in the BTS.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:43, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:17, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) '''Getting my foot back in the door&hellip;"
 * 4) * There has to be a better descriptor for Iziz than "a major city on Onderon." It's the only city on Onderon, for starters.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * No time frame is given for Gelesi in the intro.
 * 7) **Added.
 * 8) * There are no specifications of rank for Sullio and Gelesi in the intro despite the game dialogue being pretty obvious about it all.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * Specification that it was the entire planet's allegiance in question in the intro is required.
 * 11) **Implanted.
 * 12) ***Not really, it still reads as though the people themselves want to be loyal or secede; not for the planet itself. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ****How about now? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * The "Battle of Onderon" should be a pipelink; the game doesn't outright call it that.
 * 15) **Re-linked. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Actually, there's no link, and I think there should be one. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:23, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *Get back to me soon! Graestan ( Talk ) 14:58, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) Pure fluff: "An in-game system that keeps track of the players responses, if the player chooses kinder options the player earns light side "points," if the player chooses aggressive or otherwise cruel actions the player earns dark side "points" and more neutral expressions earn no points either way."  Graestan ( Talk ) 01:25, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *Sorry, remnant from the last draft. Removed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:36, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Same reason as Gelesi

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Support

Object
 * 1) Needs info from Star Wars Purge: Seconds to Die.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:59, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:34, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Image for the prelude? Kreivi Wolter 10:04, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Celchu Trial

 * Nominated by:--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 23:29, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:I wish to know if this is good enough for you as it is for us in Finnish Jedipedia.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) It looks good form my eyes. Hyvää (t)yötä : ) Kreivi Wolter 09:14, March 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master's first look
 * 2) * At first glance, there is a substantial amount of underlinking.
 * 3) **Any better now? I'm not too sure what you mean by underlinking. Care to advice?
 * 4) ***"Underlinking" means that you do not have everything linked; an article should be linked once on its first mention in the intro and once on its first mention in the body. Anyway, this is much better, although there are still some missing, extra, and incorrectly placed links. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:40, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Happy now? I have hard time finding more things to link but if there is still something, let me know.--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 19:32, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I am also seeing several grammar problems.
 * 7) **Any better now?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 20:30, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:56, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Why everyone is ignoring my nom?--Dionne Jinn (Something to say?) 22:43, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Cliffhold

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 00:41, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Never done a location before...

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:08, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 03:14, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Floyd Floyds all over your article:
 * 2) *<S>"Spice convoys eventually stopped running, but a number of residents remained in the city, managing their now-forgotten home." Why did they stop running? Clarify.</S>
 * 3) **It's never explained.
 * 4) * Quote for the Description section?
 * 5) **None that I could think of as applicable. I could do one from TEA, but I'm not sure who to attribute that to. Do you know?
 * 6) ***In TEA, does it not tell who said it? Or is it part of the text?
 * 7) ***Part of the text. Quotable, since its technically an in-universe publication, but I just don't know who to attribute the quote to.
 * 8) ****I would just put it as "Unidentified something-or-other."  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:08, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *****K, added. Give it a look-see. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 02:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * "the two freed Cliffhold from Drol" They didn't actually free the place from Drol, they freed it from the LaserWeb. Change this and the sentence afterwards.
 * 11) **See if that helps. It's kind of a tricky term, as Drol was the defense grid, so they go hand in hand.
 * 12) ***Good.
 * 13) * "The smuggling convoys that exported the spice from Cliffhold eventually ceased, leaving the city to join the rest of Iego in isolation." Again, why did they stop? Clarify.
 * 14) **See above.
 * 15) * Why did the Confederacy leave?
 * 16) **Never specified.
 * 17) * "The city's superstitious residents claimed that the ships were being destroyed by the Ghost of Drol,[2] a malevolent spirit that was in fact nothing more than a LaserWeb Defense Station left behind by the Confederacy in order to prevent anyone from leaving Iego." Reword this. This sounds like the natives believed that Drol was nothing more than a LaserWeb Defense Station.
 * 18) **Done.
 * 19) * At various points in the body, you switch from putting quote marks around Drol and not. Be consistent. I would suggest that you put quotes around all mentions of Drol, since Drol doesn't actually exist.
 * 20) **There's actually only one point in the body that I use the quotes, and that's done very intentionally to go with the context of the rest of the sentence. I think quotes are only needed when I'm refering to one of "Drol"'s actions that are actually being committed by the grid. If I'm just refering to the people's belief in him, they aren't needed. It's been addressed aas such.
 * 21) *Nice job.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:24, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Thank you very much for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:12, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) Just one: you mention the Blue Shadow Virus in the intro but not the body. Can you be consistent and place it in both? A pleasant read otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 22:55, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *Mentioned and linked. Thanks for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 01:25, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Hidden Ones

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally, the long-awaited conclusion to JujiggumProject: the Hidden Ones has arrived! <insert maniacal laughter here>

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:31, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 03:13, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Floydle:
 * 2) * "otherwise they would risk exposing the existence of the sect to the galaxy—and such exposure would negate the sect's goal. " How? Also, I would likely you to split that sentence into two parts; it would work better that way and wouldn't mess up the flow.
 * 3) **Split up and explained. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Intro: Why did the Skywalkers begin sowing dissent among the Hidden Ones? Clarify.
 * 5) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Is there an article for the battle between Ziil and Luke? If so, please link it.
 * 7) **You'll find it's already linked sufficiently. Once in the intro: "This enraged Ziil, who confronted the elder Skywalker" and once in the body: "Ziil, deeply angered by the unrest, attacked Luke". I'll get to the rest asap. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:51, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Whoops. Guess I missed it.
 * 9) *That's it.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 23:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Thanks for the review, Floyd! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:03, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) At least it'll be the last :P
 * 12) * "restoring their will to be live": could you check this? "Live" isn't an adjective.
 * 13) **Bah, should just be "to live." Fixed.
 * 14) * Can you clarify Ziil's rise to the Hidden One earlier (and directly) instead of leaving it unexplained and revealing it later in the body? Could you also mention the members by 43.5 ABY before you start talking about the Skywalkers, as it's a bit more chronological and proper that way?
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Last one: does the singular "Hidden One" exist, as part of the sect (not the leader)? If it does, then the article needs to be moved there, per the naming policy. If not, don't bother. A very good read otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Checked through Outcast, and couldn't find any place where it was used in that capacity. Thanks, and thanks for the review! Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:10, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Armitage

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:42, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A guest nom for WP:AMB. I'm giving you all a break before I do a TCW spree.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:51, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Per MOS, thoughts are not quotes. Thus, you'll have to change your quote for P&T. Otherwise, very nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:56, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * No relevant images available. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:44, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Jedi Tower

 * Nominated by:  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  09:28, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I make a return to the FAN after too long with this, the Jedi academy of Taris. It actually turned out to be quite an interesting article to write and hopefully it will be the same to read.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Great work, Nayayen.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:28, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) A few for you&hellip;
 * 2) * Intro: I would like to see the Neo-Crusaders mentioned in the intro.
 * 3) **Added, I've also mentioned them in main body.
 * 4) * Intro: Gadon Thek and context on him should be mentioned in the intro, where it says that Gryph arrived to evacuate Carrick and Jelavan.
 * 5) **Added, I haven't mentioned the Hidden Beks though, it doesn't seem necessary.
 * 6) * Early teaching: Now that John Jackson Miller has established for sure that Squinquargesimus was not a part of Malak's name, I feel you should take the surname out.
 * 7) **Removed.
 * 8) * Early teaching: For Revan, you might want to mention that he was Alek's "honorary" Master, since that is what the handbook says. Also, please capatalize "Master".
 * 9) **Done, I've checked all other instances of Master for capitalization.
 * 10) * In Mandalorian hands: I think you should mention that Griff Vao was Mission's older brother.
 * 11) **Done, I had to tweak those two sentences a bit so that it flows well.
 * 12) *Great job, Nayayen. When this passes, will this article be the first on building to pass the FAs?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:43, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Kasra. I can count at least 6 building FAs, one of which is a Jedi academy so this isn't even the first one of those FAd.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  10:42, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Cool.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) And one more thing&hellip;
 * 16) * You might want to source Alek's name to #10 or the Handbook, because in #0 he merely introduced himself as "Squint". I would think you only need to source the name to this on this one mention.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Got it.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  08:45, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I've changed the two quotes involving just two speakers from some form of to  per Tranner's comment below for Luuke.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:36, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

Suu

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 21:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: There is no better pun than "Made you Luuke." I refuse to try.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) Great job. &mdash;<Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman 15:15, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * There are a few instances where I refer to "Cut" instead of "Lawquane" or some fitting pronoun. This is because if I were to use "He," "the trooper," or "the human," it could also be in reference to Rex, and if I were to constantly use "Lawquane," you would want to gouge your own eyes out before getting to the P&T. For the most part, I don't use his first name without first using his surname elsewhere in the sentence, so it's not horribly unencyclopedic, and far more condusive for the purposes of clarity and non-repitition. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 21:32, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Modon Kira

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:55, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Already a GA.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support Object Comments

ZeHethbra

 * Nominated by: --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:47, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Do you remember Clyngunn? From Zahn's Thrawn Thrwilogy books? Doesn't ring a bell? Oh, well, nonetheless we at WP:AS need a featured article about a species starting with a Z.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) Time to party!  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  10:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Nayayen
 * 2) * What do you mean by "could naturally segregate a biochemical spray"?
 * 3) **Oopz. Changed.
 * 4) * If they always have a white stripe on their face then why doesn't the one in the infobox have one? That at least this one didn't have one should be mentioned somewhere.
 * 5) **Added to BtS; he might use a dye or he might belong to a specific group or anything, but OS does not tell.
 * 6) ***Forgot to save it perhaps? I don't see anything new.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  09:37, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Added now, sorry. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:43, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Although the ZeHethbras did recognize no less than eighty individual groups in times of the Empire, other species could only see up to six different ZeHethbra groups." I don't get the second part of this sentence, were they rare or difficult to distinguish? Please clarify.
 * 9) **2nd option. Added.
 * 10) *Good work otherwise, Skippy.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  22:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:05, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Frog-dog

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 00:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A delicacy in both France and Korea. ~ SavageBob 00:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

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Support Object
 * 1) You need to add plot information on the Frog-dogs in the Super Star Wars game. A non-canon section in the BTS is the spot for it. --Eyrezer 23:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Disney presents: The Xenobiologist and the Frog[-dog]. Btw, Skippy here
 * 3) *Society: "fit around the frog-dog's neck". Do they have necks? The description under Bio suggested they had not. Or maybe it was just me.
 * 4) *Society: "scraps and crumbs if not more appealing fare, like Jawas" Do you mean frog-dogs eat Jawas? Or do frog-dogs share the same diet than Jawas have? Maybe Jawas fed frog-dogs? Anyway, I feel this is very ambiguous.
 * 5) *Evilo Nailati is not linked anywhere. Please, link him. Preferably mention him in the main article
 * 6) *History: Who hired Bubo?
 * 7) *In the galaxy: No ITG section?
 * 8) *BTS: "Bubo has often been confused with another creature". Who has confused Bubo?
 * 9) *BTS: 'calls the character "a bubo" at one point, although it is unknown if this is a mistake or' A mistake on the part of whom? The writer of the story made the mistake, or maybe a character says "a bubo"?
 * 10) *BTS: "appear but play no major role" OR? Maybe "appear in the background" or "without dialogue" would be less daring?
 * 11) *Ribbit. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:01, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **I've made a go at addressing your objections except for a couple: No source reveals who hired Bubo; there's no ITG section because I've merged it up into History since if I don't I'll be in breach of the layout guide that straightjackets these articles; the original source uses the passive voice for who confuses Bubo, so I can't really change it; and I'm comfortable with saying they play no major role in those source since they really only appear as background flavor critters. Croak croak woof! ~ SavageBob 05:28, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Jiivahar

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:13, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Jiivahar are an arboreal species: they look like some kind of frog/lizard but are actually simians...

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) J on the good path... --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:24, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 07:53, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Skippy and let's face the Challenge
 * 2) * Bio: They averaged 1.55 – 1.85 meters tall, an average size Can you replace one "average" with a synonym to avoid using the same word twice in a row?
 * 3) **Changed.
 * 4) * Bio: an average size for a humanoid species. Do you mean they were a humanoid species? If so, could you explicitly say it? ("a humanoid species like them").
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Bio: more fragile. susceptible to physical damage. Full-stop plus lower-case. Probably some text missing?
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * Social structure: A talin is a community of 5-10 families but, how big is a family? Do they have big litters?
 * 9) **Unfortunately, no info on this.
 * 10) * Social structure: "to give as goods as they were could to the leaders". Eh... uh... Do you think maybe this could be reworded? Please? It might be just me, but I find it very confusing.
 * 11) **A word missing. Fixed.
 * 12) * In the galaxy: I don't think the link pathfinder leads to a popular Jiivahar job
 * 13) **Fixed
 * 14) * As per Alien Encounters, page 77, the sarvin can also be used to firmly grab living beings, which should be mentioned.
 * 15) **Added.
 * 16) * The guy in the infobox picture seems to wear jewelry in his (her?) left ankle, three rings in toes of the left foot and two more in neck piercings. This use of jewelry should be mentioned, particularly the piercing stuff for a species that cannot withstand physical damage.
 * 17) **I already have this info in the Society and culture section. I suspect you must have missed it.
 * 18) *Good job! Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:45, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks for the review. --Eyrezer 05:31, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Dllr Nep

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:57, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Best read over a few mugs of the juice!

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support Object Comments

Imperial Hyperspace Security Net

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 04:28, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'm not entirely sure why I started writing this article, but hey, I guess that's how most of my noms have been anyway. 1,207 words.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support Object Comments
 * I couldn't really find an appropriate infobox for this, I hope that's alright. If someone else finds one or creates one, I'll be more than happy to incorporate into the article. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 04:28, April 4, 2010 (UTC)