Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Young–Elders War

Young–Elders War

 * Nominated by: &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My fourth completed article and first one long enough to qualify for FA. Part of JonathanProject:Obi-Wan left the Jedi.

(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) How could I not? —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 04:17, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 08:20, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 00:18, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:39, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) See comment below. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:23, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Required exactly zero technical corrections. Not a line out of place, not even a misplaced wikilink. Impressive. Most impressive. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 17:15, November 29, 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 17:47, 28 June 2009 (UTC) > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 16:38, 29 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "Yoda sent Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his thirteen-year-old Padawan to rescue Tahl." You need to state who the Padawan is at this point, since you start the next paragraph off talking about him, like he's already been mentioned.
 * 3) **Facepalm. How did I forget that? Addressed.
 * 4) * "Breaking the rules of his apprenticeship, he agreed to help Cerasi and the Young with their plan and participate in the early stages of one of the attacks." How exactly was Kenobi breaking the rules of his apprenticeship?
 * 5) **The source is a bit unclear, but I've clarified it slightly.
 * 6) *Gotta get ready for my football game. More to come later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:45, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **No problem. I'll look forward to the rest of your review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:01, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Didn't The Middle Generation ally themselves with the Young near the end of the war? Why aren't they in the infobox?
 * 9) **The Middle Generation allied with the Young at the end of the war, not "near" the end of the war&mdash;specifically after the attack on the spaceport, which was the battle that ended the war. Since they never actually participated in the war, I didn't list them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Again, the infobox. As I remember, Wehutti was one of the Elders' leaders. If I'm correct, you should add him to the "commanders" field.
 * 11) **In The Defenders of the Dead, it's stated that Wehutti was a Melida leader before the Young-Elders War, but no source explicitly states that he was a commander in the war itself. For all we know, he could be just a political leader and not a military leader. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * I'm sure that the war was mentioned several times in the subsequent books. Something along the lines of "Obi-Wan leaving the Order" counts at least as an indirect mention.
 * 13) **I think that counting every mention of Obi-Wan leaving the Order as an indirect mention of the war might be stretching things a bit, but there might be a few that actually have an indirect mention of the war itself (e.g. I think the The Captive Temple mentions Obi-Wan interfering in a planet's internal affairs, now that I think about it). I'll look into this as soon as I can get the books from the library, but if it only mentions Obi-Wan's resignation in relation to his relationship with Qui-Gon, I wouldn't call it an indirect mention of the war itself. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Mostly addressed. I'm still waiting on The Shattered Peace and The Followers, however; both are listed in my library account as "in transit", so I should have them later today (Thursday). &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:48, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Nothing about the war itself in The Shattered Peace. As far as The Followers, I misread my account; it was a different book labeled "in transit", and the only copy of The Followers in the system is out and not due back until 7/14, so it could be a while before I can get my hands on it. Xwing328, Grunny, and JangFett appear to have it, so I'll see if I can get ahold of one of them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Nothing in The Followers, so this one appears to be fully addressed. Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:33, 9 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Could not find anything else to object to. I remember writing this one a while ago. Great job on expanding and improving it. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) For now, please try to avoid getting dash-happy. There are a ton of unnecessary dashes throughout the article in places where commas would suffice.  CC7567  (talk) 05:34, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Number of dashes significantly reduced to no more than two per paragraph. I have to admit I do tend to use dashes a little too much. Thanks for the first look. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:49, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Will properly review soon.  CC7567  (talk) 17:51, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Attack of the Clone
 * 5) * For the 'War for peace' section, I'd prefer if you chose either the quote under the main header or the quotes in the subsections. It's a bit overkill with that many quotes in the article, and it would be the equivalent of providing a quote for each section and subsection.
 * 6) **After some consideration, one of the quotes has been moved to the top of the article and is now the lead quote. Another one was deleted in the section merge you asked for below. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Is it possible for the two subsections under "The Jedi" to be merged and removed? The Jedi's mission is collectively both subsections, and there's a bit excess subsectioning.
 * 8) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Similarly, can the subsections in "Peace refused" be eliminated? Since the sections are so closely related, they're a bit scanty in their current state.
 * 10) **Done. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * You're using "however" rather extensively throughout the article, and it's getting repetitive; please go through and either vary or remove some of them. I would also recommend checking for other redundant conjunctions.
 * 12) **Several instances have been changed and a few have been completely removed.
 * 13) * I'd like to hear your reasoning on why mentioning the "mentions" of the war in the other Jedi Apprentice books are necessary. Only its direct appearances in media and sourcebooks appear to be warranted.
 * 14) **After thinking about it some, the Apprentice mentions have been condensed into a single sentences with a note explaining that they come primarily as Obi-Wan reflects on the past, which ties into the second paragraph of the BTS. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *Good work.  CC7567  (talk) 20:29, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Thanks for the review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 21:48, 8 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) Eyrezer:
 * 18) * In the image of Nield, can you crop out Obi-Wan a bit more?
 * 19) **Addressed. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:50, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * This is less a strict objection, so much as a question. Does Melida/Daan pop up anywhere later on in continuity? For some reason, I have a feeling there might have been a mention, perhaps re the YV War, about the conflict restarting. If so, it would be appropriate to put in the BTS... Perhaps in Force Heretic I: Remnant? --Eyrezer 00:48, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **After getting a text-searchable download of Remnant, the planet has only one very brief mention as a possible destination for a task force; nothing is said about this war. One indirect mention from Jedi Quest was added to the appearances list, but was already covered by a general statement in the BTS. All other appearances/mentions of the planet appear to not actually mention the war. Thanks for the review! &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 02:50, October 30, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 2,441 words at last count, so not real long. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Now 2,494. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:33, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * Although I will not hold up the nomination with this, I feel that the use of the en dash in the title is in violation of WP:DASH. Unless I'm misinterpreting it, the dash is not connecting a compound name. Just something for consideration. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 16:23, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * Our own dash policy only covers common situations and doesn't include every rule. The Wikipedia dash policy does, and it specifies that an en dash should be used rather that a hyphen when using it as a replacement for "versus" (see second bullet point). While I am well aware that Wookieepedia is not Wikipedia, this is simply proper English, so it falls under our own MOS, which states "we mandate standard American English spelling, grammar, punctuation, and word usage." &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:33, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * I absolutely agree that it is more proper and was pleased to see it, but I was concerned about the oversight in our policy and whether or not this applies due to the fact that other events we have on our site are not titled that way. That was my primary concern. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 18:56, November 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * I would say that the other events are improperly titled due to ignorance, as it's not a well-known rule. I mean, I consider myself very knowledgeable about English spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc., and I just found that rule for the first time a few days ago, so I would guess that the people who created articles with other similar titles just didn't know that a dash should be used. I may do a CT in the future to add this to WP:DASH. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 19:03, November 27, 2009 (UTC)