Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Battle of Bothawui (Second; Great Galactic War)

Battle of Bothawui (Second; Great Galactic War)

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:17, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 300, Star Wars style

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:08, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]](talk) 23:07, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Dang.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:16, December 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:56, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Great job.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:04, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:06, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  CC7567  (talk) 18:57, January 27, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Seeing as you refer to the First Battle of Bothawui (Great Galactic War), a prelude to this, should this article not be moved to Second Battle of Bothawui (Great Galactic War)? That redirects to this article for some reason at the moment. Otherwise, s'all good.  Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]](talk) 16:41, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I intentionally moved this article to just the plain old Battle of Bothawui because it's explicitly referred to as simply the Battle of Bothawui in the source. Its also kind of a Battle of Geonosis situation. Just because there are now two doesn't mean that the one that is cannonically named gets a new title. Thanks for the question though! Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:14, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Some on IRC were noting that we don't usually have semi-colons in parenthetical disambiguations; you may want to just have it be Battle of Bothawui (Great Galactic War), and specify in the Youmay that it's about the second one. First battle can stay at the "First Battle" link, so you end up having "First Battle" and just plain "Battle". - Lord Hydronium 07:50, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***While I don't have a personal preference for any of the possible article titles, I hesitate to move it only because there have been so many different suggestions on the topic. I will look into it more and ask around to see what's preferred by the admins, Inqs, and ACs. Thanks for bringing that to my attention though. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 08:07, January 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) * What does "unspecified" mean in the infobox? Does the canon source literally say this figure is "unspecified?" Otherwise, avoid using this kind of OOU terminology for an undefined value, which is as bad as saying something is "unknown." Just use "Unidentified.": "Unspecified number of reinforcements"
 * 7) **Isn't unidentified just as bad? I've gotten rid of it.
 * 8) **Not an objection, but please be careful of your adjective use when referring to entities like the Empire and the Republic. Formally, "its" should be used in conjunction with these bodies, not "their." I've noticed you alternate between the two, as in this intro sentence, for ex: "Following their victory in the Seswenna sector and the Outer Rim Territories at large, the Empire set its sights towards the galactic core"
 * 9) ***I'll keep this in mind, thank you.
 * 10) * Less POV term here, please. Additionally, as a general rule, please avoid referring to individuals as "heroric": "In a heroic last stand, Master Allusis and his surviving troops fought the Imperials off"
 * 11) **I was pulling directly from this source, but you're right, and it's been removed.
 * 12) * Less POV term than "valiantly," please: "Understanding that their likelihood of survival was slim, the forces under Allusis's command fought valiantly" Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:27, January 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Reworded, and thanks for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 21:08, January 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) This is BOTHAWUI!!!
 * 15) * "The resulting engagement ended in the complete destruction of the Imperial attack squadron. The first Battle at Bothawui was also the first major victory..." It's a little unclear as to whether the "first battle of Bothawui" refers to the aforementioned destruction of the Imperial squadron over Bothawui or a different confrontation altogether.
 * 16) **Changed it to "This first Battle at Bothawui...,"; let me know if that helps or if it's still confusing.
 * 17) * You say that they fought "to the last man", but "the last man" could have survived. Could it be made a bit clearer that every Republic soldier was killed?
 * 18) **Check it out now. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:36, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:37, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thank you so much for the review. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:36, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * Something like 1,024 words at the time of nomination. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:19, November 24, 2009 (UTC)