Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Battle of Christophsis


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Battle of Christophsis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Sorry for the continued uber-long battle noms. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

(5 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:00, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 23:46, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:02, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:56, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:24, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:03, 15 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 16:37, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I haven't exactly given this a review, I just read a little paragraph for reference after watching TCW, but I noticed that all you have on a part of the battle is "While Kenobi and Rex marshaled a defense of the base". I believe it could be expanded a bit to include how the clones retreated through sections all the way back to the cannons, Kenobi's orders to keep fighting, and that they had lost over half of their units during the attack. And also anything that I may have forgotten.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:50, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Expanded and reorganized.  CC7567  (talk) 18:05, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Skippy's individual objection:
 * 4) * I seem to remember a Flanker who died in Christophsis. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:51, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed. I don't feel a Bts note is important enough for an indirect mention, so he's only been added to the infobox.  CC7567  (talk) 07:56, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Four Dot
 * 7) * Too many images. You can cull quite a few, make it look a bit tidier.
 * 8) **I removed two; if more can be removed (with good placement), let me know. However, I'm trying to keep one per section, so that's why there's still a lot there. I removed the image of the Hunter with slight bias, because I felt it illustrated the space part of the battle; if it can be put back in there, I'd like it to be.
 * 9) * "The Jedi were accompanied by a faction of the Grand Army of the Republic, the clone army manufactured by the Republic to fight in the war." - I'm not sure that faction is the right word.
 * 10) **Does contingent work better?
 * 11) * "Skywalker and Kenobi were accompanied by a faction of the Grand Army of the Republic, the Republic's clone army manufactured to fight in the war." - Same here.
 * 12) **Is contingent better?
 * 13) * Too much in the infobox. You don't need to list every single identified clone trooper. Likewise, you don't need to specify the loss of Flanker in the casualties section. Similarly, you don't need to list each individual Jedi. Just say that there were 4 Jedi. Same goes for individual starfighters. And...didn't the 501st legion fight at Christophsis?
 * 14) **Ghost Squadron was part of the 212th, and Torrent Company was part of the 501st. I'm unsure if the major units themselves appeared; I have to check. I've taken out all the individuals from the "participants" except for the Venators; I think that they need to be identified. If they need to go as well, I'll get them.
 * 15) * A bit too much detail for the duel between Ventress and the Jedi. Prune a tad.
 * 16) **Addressed; I cut most of the dialogue out.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * The entire article is told from the Republic's perspective. For battle articles, you must take a more objective viewpoint. This includes telling us who the traitor is from the get-go, when he's informing the Confederacy, when Ventress arrives, etc. Basically, as a guide, make sure that nothing is "revealed" in the article.
 * 18) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Far too much detail on the captured Rotta thing.
 * 20) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * Not sure about the relevance of the soundtrack thing in the BTS. Thefourdotelipsis 09:12, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **I'm not sure; I felt it was needed since the track shared the same name, and it was specifically composed for the battle. If you still think it needs to go, I'll nuke it. I'll get to the others later today.  CC7567  (talk) 16:15, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It can stay, I've just never seen it in a Battle article before. Thefourdotelipsis 23:46, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) Toprawa:
 * 25) * Can we cut down on the last paragraph in "A traitor revealed"? The details of hand-to-hand combat get rather play-by-play and becomes tiring to read.
 * 26) **Addressed.
 * 27) * In that same paragraph, impaled how, with what? "the clone traitor impaled Rex in the head: "the clone traitor impaled Rex in the head"
 * 28) **Replaced with "head-butted".
 * 29) * Kind of drawing on the previous objection, you say Rex was impaled in the head, but a few paragraphs later he's fighting in the battle. That doesn't sync up with me. If someone is impaled in the head, they're dead. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:03, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) **Addressed. Thanks for the review, Tope. :)  CC7567  (talk) 04:20, 1 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) Can we get a bit more specificity on civilian casualties? You list "Christophsians" in the infobox under both combatant forces and casualties, but you may not have been aware that the infobox has an optional civilian casualty field. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 16:19, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) *The novel states that there were civilian casualties, so I've put them in the field. Is that good enough, though? In the episode, some of them essentially were fighting back against the droids, but I'm not sure what that qualifies as.  CC7567  (talk) 16:26, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **See if what I just did fits with your interpretation of the sources. If so, then that's all I was looking for. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 16:33, 20 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Yeah, that's much better; thanks.  CC7567  (talk) 16:34, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * TCW's first "official" nom after the duel was merged into the battle.  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nevermind; it's the second one, since Trayus nominated Nuvo Vindi. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:35, 26 April 2009 (UTC)