Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."

Also remember to add Nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 04:07, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thanks, Star!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Seems much improved now and a good job on an article with not much information on them. --  Riffsyphon  1024 04:08, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice job, Star.  Greyman ( Talk ) 04:07, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Seems above adequate Enochf 21:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Infobox not fully sourced.
 * 3) * Can we get the introduction condensed into a smaller number of larger paragraphs, please?
 * 4) * Tense and OOU issues in the Early Life section.
 * 5) * Choppy prose and small paragraphs in the Sith-Imperial War section.
 * 6) * "After Calixte and Veed celebrated what they thought was Veed's promotion to Emperor, Calixte snuck over to Roal Fel's quarters and informed him to flee." Roal? Also, the second clause should be rewritten.
 * 7) * Small paragraphs that can be blended together in the P%T and Equipment sections as well.
 * 8) * Quotes in prose in the P&T section?
 * 9) *Unfortunately, without knowing that much about the Legacy comics, that's all I can offer.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:52, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) Toprawa:
 * 11) * Per other user objections infobox needs to be fully sourced. Including, please, the gender and species.
 * 12) * Also per previous user objections, no reason, in this case, to have two one-sentence paragraphs. Tack each onto the front and end of the middle paragraphs, respectively
 * 13) * Please reword this: "and she and Veed then plotted to place Veed on the Imperial throne"
 * 14) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:22, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Two things with this. First, it needs to be rewritten into past tense; secondly, consider removing this entirely. Is it truly an IU axiom that little is known about her, or do we just know about her OOU because no other sources deal with her past? "Little has been recorded about the early life of Nyna Calixte."
 * 16) **That is no longer there.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***It is still there. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:42, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ****My bad. I thought i had removed it. To answer your original question, it's a little of both. I have reworded it.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:14, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Are there alternative reasons why they feel she reached this position? If so, please include: "although some of her colleagues on the Moff Council claimed that she had not earned the honor through merit alone."
 * 20) **That's all that been revealed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Please rewrite or remove to avoid improper OOU/present tense tone.: "As far as it can be verified,"
 * 22) * Please avoid weasel words like "apparently." Did she despise her, or did she not? Make sure this isn't too speculative: "Gunn apparently despised her mother"
 * 23) **I was on crack when I wrote that. Gunn is explicity shown to hate her mother. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * Having never read these sources, I don't know what's going on here. Please elaborate on why the Empire was approached, keeping in mind articles should be written towards the casual reader: "When the new Sith Order first approached the Empire, they did so through her."
 * 25) **I fixed these (and the following few objections) while trying to focus on Nyna and not the war.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * A few things here. The article could benefit from an explanation of what's going on here; i.e, what were her motives in allying with the Sith? Why were the other Moffs needing manipulation? Who is Roan Fel? "She manipulated the other Moffs into allying with the Sith behind Roan Fel's back,"
 * 27) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) * You give a brief explanation of Fel here, in his second mention. This should be applied to his initial mention. And, you keep referring to him by his full name, which is unnecessary. Just "Fel" will suffice: "In 130 ABY, the Emperor Roan Fel"
 * 29) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) * This ties in with the previous two objections. You just kind of write this assuming the reader knows the details of the S-I war. Don't assume anything. What kind of conspiracy is this? "the extent of the Sith conspiracy"
 * 31) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Ditto with the previous objections. Without an explanation of the war, this is very confusing. When did the GA get involved? "...that the Galactic Alliance"
 * 33) * Elaborate on what happened at Ossus, to provide a better explanation of why she is apologizing: "Calixte expressed her disapproval to Darth Maladi about the Massacre at Ossus"
 * 34) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * At this point, honestly, I'm lost. When and how did Veed apparently becoming Emperor in their eyes? "After Calixte and Veed celebrated what they thought was Veed's promotion to Emperor"
 * 36) **Fixed. 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * Again, confusing. I thought she was expecting Veed to become Emperor? "she informed him that she knew that Darth Krayt was going to install himself as Emperor"
 * 38) **Clarified (hopefully).  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) * Please give a brief description of who Antares Draco is: "secretly making his escape with Antares Draco"
 * 40) **Imperial Knight. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) * By the final paragraph in the S-I War section, I have no idea what you're even trying to say, or what's going on. I would suggest rewriting the section completely, again keeping in mind that if I, a dedicated SW fan, has no idea what's happening, imagine a casual visitor to this site.
 * 42) **I write articles with the intent that the reader clicks on the links provided if they want more information. I guess I shouldn't do that. :P  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) ***It reads much better now. And yeah, don't rely on links, i.e. other people, to do your writing for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:06, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * Please elaborate on who Hosk Trey'lis is and why he's being interrogated: "she attended the interrogation of Hosk Trey'lis in Darth Maladi's laboratory..."
 * 45) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) * Don't assume the reader knows what The Wheel is. Give a brief explanation of it: "After viewing one of Calixte's security cam feeds from the Wheel, they discovered that the Wheel was Cade's last known location"
 * 47) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * If possible, it would be good to specify what she used exactly: "but not before she sprayed him with a gas"
 * 49) * If known, please explain what class of ship: "Corde then proceeded to carry Torlin back to his ship, the Raider"
 * 50) **I'm not good with ship stuff, so I couldn't tell you unless it was specifically stated somewhere.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * You don't explain until much farther down in the paragraph that both of the ships are apparently shuttles of some sort. Please identify them upon their first mention: "She explained that there were two ships parked at the Wheel: one belong to Admiral Stazi of the Galactic Alliance, and the other was a ship that had defected to Roan Fel's faction of the Empire"
 * 52) * This seems speculative, from what I can gather. If you really can't prove that he's dead, don't speculate: " apparently killing him."
 * 53) **That was an artifact left over from the Morrigan Corde article that I had missed. Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * Please reword: "that Gunn was one of the ones who..."
 * 55) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * The way this is written suggests that the person who informed Veed is also the one hiring Corde, but it seems like you're referring to Calixte: "Upon sharing this info with Morlish Veed, he promptly hired Morrigan Corde"
 * 57) **Clarified. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) * Where is the Sith Temple? I can assume it is on Coruscant from the article, but please specify: "to remove Cade from the Sith Temple"
 * 59) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * Please explain why she wants these: "that he turn over to her the three dozen Yuuzhan Vong thud bugs"
 * 61) **It is explained a bit later in the article; is this really necessary? Graestan ( Talk ) 02:35, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) * In that same sentence, briefly give an explanation of what Black Sun is
 * 63) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) * Is "predator" a special term to describe his forces/agents? If so, specify: "to pull his predators off the Temple on her signal"
 * 65) **Its referring to the ships under his command.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) ***Please specify this in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) ****Changed to "Predator-class fighter." Graestan ( Talk ) 02:35, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) * Naturally, I can assume what you mean here, but please elaborate: "After Veed made some unwanted advances toward her, she left"
 * 69) **~sigh~ Do I have to write a porno? :P  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) ***I insist! ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) * As Calixte switches off between using her own name and the Corde identity, you alternate between writing from the perspective of either name. For example, here: After she left Veed's apartment, Corde then located Cade's friends..." This is unnecessary, and mildly confusing. When she switches to the Corde identity, don't continue to refer to her as such. Make a mention initially that she has made the change, and then keep describing her as Calixte only. Please rewrite the appropriate sentences.
 * 72) **I have replaced all relevant "Corde"s with "Calixte"s.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) ***Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:00, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Briefly describe who these people are that they are arguing with: "Blue and Syn were locked in an argument with Kee and Chak over Cade's ship"
 * 75) **Smugglers. Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * Explain what a boom bug is: "and others act as "boom bugs.""
 * 77) **Bugs that go BOOM! Jariah Syn lives for Boom, you know! :P Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) *As I progress through the article, I'm seeing increasingly more instances of play-by-play. Specifically, this paragraph. Please rewrite: "Corde then tasked Syn with keying a specific bug to follow Cade, etc."
 * 79) * You keep placing quotes around the term "boom bug." Unless this is done so explicitly in the source, doing so on each mention is unnecessary: "then to move the "boom bugs" near a hangar"
 * 80) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) * Please reword one of the Calixtes: "Back at Calixte's apartment, Calixte was in the middle of taking a shower"
 * 82) **Fixed.
 * 83) *Please note how in this same paragraph, starting "Back at Calixte's apartment," you have five sentences that start off the exact same way. "Corde then did this...Veed then did this...So and so then did this, etc." This is what I mean by instances of PBP, where things get very listy. Please rewrite.
 * 84) * Please rewrite. The use of "Sith" becomes obtrusive: "about the Sith coup in 130 ABY, thus betraying the Sith"
 * 85) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) * Inappropriate use of tense. Sounds very OOUish. Additionally, sounds very speculative. Unless the story substantiates this solidly, please remove: "...and as far it is known, has told no one about her identity as Morrigan Corde."
 * 87) **Well, considering that she has kept it even from Veed, who is the person closest to her (well, as close as she gets, anyway), I would say it's pretty certain that no one else knows. It's still too early to say for sure, though.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) ***In that case, I would definitely say remove it. This comes of as being rather ORish. This sounds like something that would do better to fit in the BTS, where OR/speculative info like this is more appropriate. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:09, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) ****Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * This just ties in with the previous objection of saying she "apparently" despised her mother. This sentence suggests it was indeed true. Keep uniformity: "For her part, Gunn despised her mother"
 * 91) **Like I said, I was on crack. ~shrugs~  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) * Inappropriate OOU tense: "Calixte had once stated to Roan Fel that she has had some success in shielding her thoughts from Force users, even though there has been no evidence to suggest she was Force-sensitive."
 * 93) **Reworded.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) ***The sentence is still problematic. "has" has a very "nowish" tone to it, rather than a purely past tense tone. Additionally, the final clause referring to no evidence that she is Force-sensitive still lacks the appropriate IU tone. "Calixte has had some success in shielding her thoughts from Force users, even though there has been no evidence to suggest she was Force-sensitive." Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:09, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 95) * And, per Acky's comments below, these two sentences don't do the Calixte character enough credit to warrant their own section. Please move them unto the P&T
 * 96) * You need to provide a source for this information: "As Morrigan Corde, she had two distinguishing pieces of equipment; the first being her comm devices, and the second being her choker containing the holo of her family. Her comm devices were located on her face, and there were two of them: one under her left eye, and the other on her chin. It remains unknown exactly how they functioned."
 * 97) **I remember seeing it in a forum post by Jan Duursema. I'll go dig it up after work.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) ***K, I sourced it.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 99) * This is an incomplete sentence: "Nyna Calixte was created by John Ostrander and Jan Duursema was first mentioned in Star Wars Legacy 0."
 * 100) **That was rectified by someone who was not me. Thanks, whoever you are! :D  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 101) * Please reword this clause: " which the scene was written in a way in that the reader is the only person privy to the secret"
 * 102) **Rewrote.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 103) * Not really an objection, but there seems to be enough concrete evidence that Calixte is the real persona, since we place the article under that name. Perhaps some kind of explanation discussing this? "but it remains unclear at this point which persona is the "real" one."
 * 104) **We don't know if Nyna or Morrigan (or neither) is her real name. I only put it at Calixte because IU, she is the more public persona.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) *Some final suggestions:
 * 106) *Per what I said about the SI War section, no matter how obvious the info may seem, never assume the reader knows what is going on. Make sure you write with the ignorant in mind, explaining who and what things are.
 * 107) *Also, per Wookification, please place referencing after punctuation. I've cleaned these instance up for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:41, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 108) From Imperialles:
 * Image:Nyna Maladi Labo.jpg: Distorted. Get someone (Redemption) to re-scan it.
 * Image:Morrigan holo.jpg: Minor scan distortions at the bottom of the image. Ideally, it should be re-scanned.
 * 1) * Image:Morrigan commdevices.JPG: Needs to be cropped.
 * 2) **Is cropped. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 13:08, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *What's the source for the pronunciation?
 * 4) **It's in the BTS.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * Is it really necessary to split up the BTS section like that?
 * 6) **Not really. Fixed. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:22, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * --Imperialles 21:41, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Prior to the Sith-Imperial War, Calixte was using the persona of Morrigan Corde, and was working as an agent for Imperial Intelligence." Too many was ('s).
 * 3) **Is this better?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * The third paragraph of the intro just reads awkwardly. Please fix the prose.
 * 5) **There is no third paragraph anymore. Someone (probably me) merged it into the second one.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Little has been recorded about the early life of Nyna Calixte." Should be "little was..."
 * 7) **Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "However, prior to the Sith-Imperial War, she was using the name Morrigan Corde and was employed as an Imperial Intelligence agent." Rephrase.
 * I, and several others that I have queried on this matter, say this reads fine. Please state what exactly what you feel is wrong with it?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) ***Actually, it seems fine to me now.
 * 2) * Why do you all her "Morrigan" sometimes and Morrigan others?
 * 3) **On crack. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * De-link quote in "Sith-Imperial War".
 * 5) **Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *"...despised her mother for leaving her and her father and entering into an affair with Morlish Veed." She had an affair with Veed? Where did that come from? Please give context.
 * 7) * "...at his apartment." Is this necessary?
 * 8) **Why not? They could have been at her place, or at a bar/restaurant.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *"Once Darth Krayt had installed himself on the throne after killing Roan Fel's double, he sent Maladi to Calixte's quarters to get the Moff to explain herself." Explain herself for what? Krayt knew about the double?
 * 10) *In "Search for Skywalker", state that Maladi does not know about her double identity. It seems as though she does.
 * 11) * "...then proceeded to tie the still-unconscious Torlin to a chair and familiarize herself with the ship and it weapons." It weapons?
 * 12) **Fixed the minor typo.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:14, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * "Corde then tasked Syn with keying a specific spy bug to follow Cade, park another spy bug outside Krayt's chambers, then to move the boom bugs near a hangar at the Sith Temple." Remove one of the thens.
 * 14) **Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * No offense, but the prose in the lone paragraph of Aftermath is just bad.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Better?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Eyrezer:
 * 18) *There seems to be quite a bit of info in the quote in the first section of the body that is not in the actual text. Can this info be added to the text, perhaps about her indecision, or not seeing Cade before she left etc.
 * 19) * I could be wrong on this, but wasn't part of the reason she left Yage because he wasn't ambitious enough for her? If IIRC, then this should be added in. I'll try and check this myself if I get the chance.
 * 20) **Hmm. I think I had the family dinner at the restaurant in mind, and looking at the text at best it would be implied. Any thoughts, Star?
 * Technically, this is still under spoiler warning, so navigate with care.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 04:07, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Good to have you back in action, Toney! :-D Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:50, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Neptune, I would suggest merging the powers and abilities section with the P&T, unless it can be expanded; there isn't, IMHO, enough info there atm to warrant its own section.-- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:24, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * I won't make this an objection per se but the article seems rather...void of life. By life I mean images. You can probably put in one more in each section (minus early life as it's short and aligned with the infobox.) -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:19, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Working on that now.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inq/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:42, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) My only concern was resolved via IRC. Your next task: FA Toryn Farr ;)  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:18, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) See? Hoth.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:28, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) No objections, but in the future, Toprawa, please spell out numbers less than one hundred in article writing.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:29, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:07, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) *"Although badly wounded, she survived and was later evacuated from Hoth along with her older sister, Toryn Farr, Echo Base's chief controller, aboard the GR-75 medium transport Bright Hope." – Stumbles a bit.
 * 3) *"escape transport &hellip; escape run" – A bit redundant.
 * 4) *"Farr flew with the elite Rogue Group under the command of Luke Skywalker during the critical Battle of Hoth against the Galactic Empire's invasion force of assault walkers, attached to Darth Vader's personal fleet of Imperial-class Star Destroyers, Death Squadron." – Rather ponderous.
 * 5) *"valuable personnel and equipment" – Move "personnel" so as not to imply that the evacuation was selective.
 * 6) *In "Battle of Hoth," it's "Toryn &hellip; her sister &hellip; Toryn &hellip; her sister." Change it up a bit.
 * 7) *"After Toryn retrieved and covered her sister with a brown bantha-wool blanket" – Clarify what is being retrieved.
 * 8) *"Farr's creation was meant to complement the backstory of the character Toryn Farr, Samoc's sister, also created by Bell, which provided an identification for the previously anonymous Echo Base chief controller first seen in the film Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back." – Could stand to be broken up.
 * 9) * Graestan ( Talk ) 14:27, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No image available. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:42, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Major issues listed here have been addressed. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *You've done a nice job, Yrfeloran, making some major additions to this article. Unfortunately, it's still quite a ways away from being up to FA standards. Without even reading through, I pick up on the following problems:
 * 3) * The infobox must be completely sourced, as does the succession box at the bottom of the page.
 * 4) **Done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Complete sourcing includes sourcing the "Era(s)" field. I've done this for you, but please source this next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:44, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Any quotes within the article must go at the beginning of sections, after the subhead, not in the middle of paragraphs.
 * 7) **Most of those were residual old paragraphs - done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *The entire article is little more than 1-2 sentence paragraphs summarizing events. While I'm certainly not a huge prequel trilogy fan, having never read the majority of these sources, this tells me that you've done just that, quickly generalizing important topics while skipping out on juicy details. Featured Articles must be comprehensive, not only including material from all relevant sources, but also detailing that information to a great degree. An article like Dooku, for as much information is out there on him, should have dozens of paragraphs several sentences in length. It's just too thin right now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:50, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ** There was a formatting issue with some prior authors' styles, which I've now fixed. It now "looks better". As for actual content, there have been significant expansions and section mergings. Dooku's article over the period of the movies was probably more in-depth than recently re-FAd Grievous, for instance, even before I revamped it. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) LtNOWIS
 * 11) * Image:Quarren league.jpg, Image:DookuVSGrievous.jpg, and Image:DookuBTS.jpg need more specific sources. The Clone Wars shots need to specify which episodes, and the databank shot needs a link to the page it's from. -LtNOWIS 10:19, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Muuuuuurgh helped with this. Thanks, Muuuuuurgh! Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 14) * Needs a longer and more comprehensive intro.
 * 15) ** Intro has been expanded somewhat. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I won't get specific, but it's way too light on detail. Most of the article is just short paragraph, then a new section.
 * 17) *This can be brought to FA, but it will take a lot of time and commitment. If you can do it, I commend you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:30, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) More stuff from me:
 * 19) * Both Sith Apprentice and Leaving the Order have paragrpahs that are no more than one or two sentences. Combine sentences in those sections or expand them.
 * 20) **Combination and expansion done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Combine the sections Jedi confrontation and successful escape.
 * 22) **Done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * You link way too much. Link onc ein the intro and then once in the body.
 * 24) **This was kind of inevitable, since the original article was overlinked and additions were made piecemeal. I think I've pruned about all of them Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * De-link the quote in Endgame.
 * 26) **Done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Remove the sentence about Quinlan Vos in the Legacy section.
 * 28) **done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *I am very impressed with what you've done so far. Keep up the good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) From the legal pad scrawling of Atarumaster88
 * 31) * Lot of short paragraphs need fleshed out or combined with others.
 * 32) **I've done a fair bit of this. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * I'd say remove some of the shorter sections by combining them with others also.
 * 34) ** And a lot of section combining Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Compare your appearances/sources list to the reference list. A quick check reveals no information from the following:
 * 36) ** Star Wars: Battlefront
 * 37) ** Some of those HoloNet news.
 * 38) ** Boba Fett: Crossfire
 * 39) ** Republic 49.
 * 40) ** Legacy of the Jedi
 * 41) ** And I'm sure there are more.
 * 42) ***Most of those were actually there - Legacy was ref'd 8 times, Crossfire and 49 were there but cited as Fight to Survive and 50. I did some expansion on the HNN stuff and added Battlefront. Yrfeloran 03:00, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) *Needs a non-canon appearance section. (Ugh)
 * 44) **I'm probably going to need help with this one. I've got the bare bones of one up. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) * Properly reference all Clone Wars cartoon series references by chapter.
 * 46) **Done for all IU refs Yrfeloran 03:35, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *It's a lot better than it was, but still will need work, as others have already said. Feel free to drop by WP:NEGTC for additional help, though, or my talk page. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) From the full-fledged desk of Atarumaster88
 * 49) * Dooku's role in Jedi:Shaak Ti could use mention.
 * 50) **OK, it's got a mention Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * Same thing with Republic 54.
 * 52) **Somebody who's read this in the past year definitely needs to double-check, but added. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) * I'm not seeing any information from the Shadowfeed.
 * 54) **Added Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) ***<There are three or four Shadowfeed appearances in the appearance list, but only 1 reference that I saw. Did you get them all?
 * 56) ****There's one trivial one, and the fragment of a Fete day address that doesn't have much content besides "we're awesome, Republic sucks" Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) * Mention Dooku's role in the Battle of Jabiim.
 * 58) **mentioned Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) * Check also Republic 59, 60, and 61. I forget whether those have key mentions.
 * 60) ** They don't, but I added 64 Yrfeloran 00:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) * Yoda's lesson to Dooku in EGTTF might be good P&T material.
 * 62) ** I was thinking about doing that, but it's hard to wedge it in. He's like 7, too. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) ***Added an oblique mention in Childhood Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) * Your EGTTF refs, at least, are all off and are seemingly removing content from the article.There's a sentence or two missing from his tutelage under Cerulian. When you reference, your first reference to a source should like like, but your subsequent references should only include to avoid errors. And also, the field of , the blah part is just a placeholder and so you can abbreviate to shorten the code, just keep it understandable.
 * 65) **The Thame stuff was due to a different malformed reference that I fixed. I'll trim some of these as I come across them, but with the amount of paragraph merging/etc. going around it is really useful as an editor in this particular situation to have more than one ref linked. Also "blah" should be full source name per Layout Guide, which I agree with. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) ***Heh, I stand corrected. Though the use of abbreviated referencing is sorta common. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) ****Yeah, there's some legacy ones on the Dooku page, but on an article this size when you're editing a section at a time it's a -massive- pain to look up what the page's nickname of the source you want is. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) * All your references have the same error, it appears.
 * 69) * " Though Dooku's behavior and beliefs as a Jedi had previously been within the scope of Jedi orthodoxy,[1] there is evidence that in the period before he left the Order he flirted with the belief that the dark side of the Force could be called upon without personal corruption.[17]." This sentence is OOU and should be rewritten to conform with the MoS. At the very least, the tense is wrong.
 * 70) **Fixed I guess. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) * Lot of short sentences in the last paragraph of "Leaving the Order".
 * 72) **Made some a little longer? Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) * Need context on Palpatine. His double identity as Darth Sidious is not discussed, and the casual reader may not be awareof that.
 * 74) **Added this. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 75) * OOU/tense issues with this: "It is suspected that Dooku himself did this, but it is unclear how he accomplished it." also. Recall that EGTTF is an IU publication, if that helps.
 * 76) ** Fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 77) * Jumps back and forth about his Sith status. He's supposed to be a Sith Lord in "Sith apprentice" but his Sith training is still ongoing during the Bando Gora episode. Clarify please.
 * 78) ** Noncontradictory. One becomes an apprentice first, then learns Sith stuff. See Vader. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 79) ***You have him listed as a "fully-fledged Sith Lord", not as a Sith apprentice, and then went on to later discuss his training.
 * 80) **** OK, removed the adjective Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) * 2nd paragraph of "Moving the pieces" could use a more varied sentence syntax.
 * 82) **fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 83) * "To the surprise of both parties, Dooku himself was present". Present where? Needs more context.
 * 84) ** Added context Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 85) * More context needed on initial mention of Vos and Secura.
 * 86) ** Added a little bit here. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 87) * More context needed on Ansion's alliances and Dooku's manipulations there.
 * 88) ** Added Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) * "The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi then traced Jango back to his home on the planet Kamino. Kenobi found Jango Fett there, and also discovered the clone army that Dooku had once ordered. This army was now fully grown and ready for action." Condense this, but give some more context in general on Episode II. The Jedi rescue force in particular.
 * 90) ** OK, did a little more context.
 * 91) * Be specific about some Episode II details. List the factions involved in the CIS. List the creatures in the arena.
 * 92) ** Done, though the CIS stuff inevitably comes across as a little listy.
 * 93) * In general, it is not advisable to use the first names of characters. A few exceptions might include major characters, but not, say, Zam Wesell.
 * 94) ** OK Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 95) * More detail on arena battle and Dooku's role in it.
 * 96) ** Uh, OK, added that he watched from the balcony :P Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 97) * 2nd para of "The clones attack" is all short sentences.
 * 98) ** fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 99) * "spectacular duel" is POV.
 * 100) ** fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 101) * Sev'rance Tann's role in Dooku's escape from Geonosis, as well as the Dark Acolytes blocking Windu in their tanks should be mentioned.
 * 102) ** Like Padme falling out of the gunship, I don't think this is really directly relevant to Dooku's article. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 103) ***I'll accept the explanation on the tanks, but I think Sev'rance Tann's role as the chief commander of the droid armies could use some explanation, and that ties in well with her role in helping Dooku escape. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) ****I added a little more context with Tann in the proper section. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) *You're about halfway to my ending catchphrase, but I think there's plenty here for now. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 106) " Even as the Separatist movement grew and coalesced around Dooku as a leader, the Jedi Council did not believe he could be behind the violence.[24] although he". I think your reference is eating some of your text here.
 * 107) **fixed Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 108) * 3 short paragraphs in "A new ally" could use merging.
 * 109) ** I did a little bit of addition, but I think merging those paragraphs would hurt more than it'd help Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 110) * More context needed on "Sidious said that it did not matter either way.".
 * 111) ** Added Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 112) * This is related to above, but Tann's role and actions are never explained properly in relation to Dooku.
 * 113) **Tried to address this Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 114) *Again, check your linking. A lot of things are overlinked, but don't worry too much about it; that can be corrected automatically.
 * 115) * The first name thing is fine with say, Anakin and Obi-Wan as long as it's not overrused, but certainly not with minor characters. Nothing you haven't seen before. ;-)
 * 116) ** I'll fix it as I go, but not for, say, Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 117) *Just a general suggestion: Try reading the article aloud to see how it flows. Parts of it don't read that well, and a few small tweaks would fix those.
 * 118) * The section title "Miscellaneous villainy" needs reworded. Dare I say it doesn't sound encyclopediac?
 * 119) **Unencyclopediac...but -so- true. OK, reworded. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 120) * These two don't flow well together: "Droids planted charges on the planet and prepared for detonation. The Separatist-allied inhabitents of Viidaav would have also been killed."
 * 121) **Reworded whole section Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 122) * "Miscellaneous villainy" has a large number of short paragraphs and the content is disjointed. Let the prose flow within you.
 * 123) **It's hard. Mostly random CWA stuff. Gave it a shot Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) * Short paragraphs in meeting on Vjun.
 * 125) **Did some work there. Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) *" She had previously been defeated and humiliated by Anakin Skywalker on Coruscant.[61] However, a Republic fleet arrived before the process was completed." These two have no tie-in, and don't flow well together either.
 * 127) **Added more context Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) * Last paragraph on Saleucami needs more context, or give background on the battle more towards the beginning. Either way.
 * 129) **done Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 130) * "Sidious also ordered Grievous to attack Coruscant and simultaneously to the Separatist assault on Tythe." Clarify this sentence.
 * 131) **did so Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) * "General Grievous was unaware that his hapless captive was also the feared mastermind behind the Confederation. Dooku arrived on the Invisible Hand and took charge of the prisoner." These two sentences don't flow well together.
 * 133) **Tried to segue better Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 134) * Link the Invisible Hand.
 * 135) **It was linked in the first mention Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 136) * Link to the saber forms and even provide some context on them if you feel it would be good.
 * 137) **I'd prefer not to, having just rescued the article from an unhealthy obsession with Makashi. I have some in the lightsaber training section, but it needs to stay out of the ROTS fight or else it will morph into "Ataru beat Makashi" instead of "Anakin beat Dooku". Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) ***Fair enough. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:35, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 139) *" In a burst of power, Anakin overpowered Dooku". The power of the sentence is a mite overwhelming.
 * 140) **did some rewording Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 141) * Remove the section header "Revelation". It's unnecessary and interrupts the events on Invisible Hand
 * 142) **OK....I did this, but I'm not sure I'm happy with it. Lose "Kill him now" quote, for one. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 143) *Redlinks. Waaaay too many.
 * 144) *Keep working on it. Chances are that this'll go through a couple more reviews, but don't give up; this has potential. Have a Super Terrific Friendly-Unfrustrating Day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Former featured article. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I am happy to see someone tackle this and I would encourage you, Yrfeloran, to hack away at it. For what it's worth, I recall (several months ago) noticing that numerous chunks of fanon and fan speculation had made their way into this article, so as the revision process continues, I'd recommend proceeding suspiciously, never assuming that a source tag is legit unless yourself added or checked it. (I haven't even really looked at it yet, though, so for all I know somebody already cleansed it.)  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 12:39, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I did a good deal of the sourcing myself, and have spot-checked most of the rest. There was a serious fanon/NPOV purge that I did, and the non-biographical sections are now shorter. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Note to self: Done up to Clone Wars. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

(5 Inq/1 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:04, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:37, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Addressed via IRC.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:47, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Cull Tremayne 21:52, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:13, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * Image:KrathStormTheControlRoom.jpg: severely distorted. In need of a re-scan. --Imperialles 12:48, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Re-scanned and despeckled. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 18:57, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **A bit heavy despeckling there. If you get me a raw scan, I can try and work something out. --Imperialles 22:51, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:04, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Minor request: You might create an article for the Coruscant Defense Fleet. Other than, clean. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:25, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Hm, I read this last night, but just noticed now I didn't vote... Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:15, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Yay for OT characters. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:25, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:08, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 14:32, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:41, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:27, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The only thing I've got is that I would like to see a little more in the P&T discussing his telepathy, how he would primarily converse with his wife that way, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Added additional sentence or two. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:06, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Also, make sure you link Skirmish at Carkoon somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:56, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Already linked in main body; I added a link in the intro too. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:06, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * After reading through his entry in SWE, I would also like to see a little bit added to the P&T explaining his physical appearance, including why he was called "Yak Face." The entry does a nice job of describing, if you would like me to provide you with it. Let me know in IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:51, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Added to BtS. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:22, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Also, I suspect he appears in the Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition, as well as the ROTJ radio drama and script. Please check with Gonk for the first and Muuurgh for the last two. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:56, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Not in radio drama or script, according to Muuuurgh. I am in the process of obtaining the Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook, which Gonk tells me has some info and RPG stats. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:22, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Okay, all sorted, I believe. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:22, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I started writing this with GA in mind, though it came in slightly over 1,000 words in the end :). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:25, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

(5 Inqs/3 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 04:16, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Also nicely done. --Squishy Vic (discussion) (contributions) 00:34, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Well done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:16, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Addressed via IRC.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:49, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) How do I get suckered into reading these?  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:02, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *All I'm admitting to is the number "20" :P Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 02:15, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) -- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 07:54, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Cull Tremayne 21:53, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:37, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Outcome: Decrease in Jedi morale??? That's sketchy at best, and certainly not something that should go in the infobox.
 * 3) **I beg to differ, especially since it's in the sources, but I've removed it for ya :) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:57, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "The Dark Lords of the Sith audio drama brought the dramatic events of the Battle of Deneba, only previously experienced on comic pages, into a much more vivid light." That flowery and repetitive BTS sentence needs to be either cited as a direct quote, or removed. The idea of an audio drama being "much more vivid" is POV on the part of the writer.
 * 5) **Remoooooved. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:57, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Your casualties field is incorrect; many more Jedi were lost, not just Jeth. The little symbol should not be on Arca Jeth either-it's redundant.
 * 7) **I added the part of the other Jedi&mdash;an oversight on my part. The symbol, however, is used to denote that Jeth was killed. Casualty doesn't necessarily mean "killed". Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:57, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:46, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:JfleetDeneba.JPG is fairly artifacty. Image:Swdl3.jpg is just not very well scanned. Both need to be redone. --Imperialles 12:51, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *I've re-scanned both, and preformed some cleanup on them. Hopefully they are better. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:07, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Image:JfleetDeneba.JPG seems very blurry. If you can get me a raw scan, I'll try and see if I can improve it somehow. --Imperialles 22:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 04:16, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated. I started out expecting this to be a GA due to limited content available, but I found I was able to put together a pretty decent entry that exceeded 1,000 words, so here it is in FA. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) The Colinmcev train rolls on. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:30, 28 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Please elaborate on why he fled the battle. Did his forces lose? Was he scared off by Skywalker? "Weir fled the battle and ordered his men to pull back to their transport ships"
 * 3) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * This is a tad confusing. You say he was being pursued by Numb, but then Numb is hiding out in a canyon? Please clarify: "He quickly detected that the Sullustan Ten Numb had pursued him on a speeder bike and, as his men were preparing to leave, Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding"
 * 5) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Please clarify whose blaster he used here. Seems like he used Numb's: "Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding and captured him by knocking him unconscious with his blaster rifle"
 * 7) **It was Weir's gun. Added the reference. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Bah, it was fine how it was. I've changed it back. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * This sentence doesn't make sense to me. The led the Rebel fighters by attacking a convoy? Please clarify/elaborate on what's going on: "which escaped a pursuit from Rogue Squadron by leading the Rebel X-wing and A-wing starfighters by attacking a civilian convoy with suicide drone TIEs."
 * 10) **Yeah, something went a little wrong there. I think some of my proofreading changes might not have made it in due to some of the bug problems I was having the day I nominated it. I cleaned it up and tried to clarify. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Please reword to avoid ending subsequent clauses with the same word: "including sizes and secret locations of military forces, which could be used in strikes against the Rebel forces"
 * 12) **Got it. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * So, Weir took Numb back to Tralus to be interrogated? Please specify This sentence makes me question this: "Upon learning that Luke Skywalker and the Rogues found the secret base due"
 * 14) **I put a reference to it right before the torture stuff. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * I'm kind of skeptical as to describing R2-D2 as famous here. Can you confirm that the source does indeed say this, or even source this to something else? "and the famed astromech droid R2-D2,"
 * 16) **I just dropped the famed reference altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * In the paragraph beginning, "As Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu pursued the general in stolen TIE Fighters...," you use the word "surface" three times in two sentences, including twice in a single sentence. Please reword, ideally, two of these.
 * 18) **So, you want me to use the word surface more. You got it! (Kidding, by the way ;) ). --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Just confirming. There's nothing else explaining what happened after he was captured and brought to interrogation?
 * 20) **Unfortunately, no. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Please reword to avoid using the base word "regard" twice here: "Regardless of species, Weir showed little regard"
 * 22) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***You've only changed "little" to "no." Specifically, I'm looking for you to reword one either "Regardless" or "regard." Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ****lol, Oops. Fixed. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * I'm confused as to how telling Numb that his torture was the product of a chance encounter is considered psychological torture: "Weir enjoyed applying psychological attacks against his subjects, such as his statements to Ten Numb that his capture and torture was the result of a purely chance encounter."
 * 26) **He said something to the affect that the mission was only meant to punish Coronet City and that they didn't even know Luke and the pilots would be there, so it was only based on pure chance that they even found Numb, and yet now he was being tortured because of it. I found it a bit difficult to condense though, and really I think there were other better psychological torments to use as an example, so I changed the sentence altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Through the third and fourth paragraphs of the P&T section, you begin off a number of sentences with "Weir was..." Please reword some of these.
 * 28) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * I would like to see a little cleaner BTS. It's not bad, all the information is just about there, but please rewrite to more effectively say who created him and what comics he appears in. Also make sure to identify the year the comics were published. If possible, you might add why he was created. What purpose did his character serve? Antagonist? Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:25, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) **What do you think of it now? --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Very nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) Lil' bit more:
 * 33) * I would still like a little bit here explaining how, even though they apparently satisfied his taste for destruction, they still didn't get Skywalker: "Weir ordered the deaths of Skywalker and anyone who stood with him, military and civilian alike."
 * 34) **Changed this around a bit. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Cleaned it up a bit, but that's fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:30, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * The little blurb you've selected for its own section in the "Talents and abilities" section isn't really enough to warrant an individual section. Please move that into the P&T.
 * 37) **Got it.
 * 38) * Also, just a reminder, still one unresolved objection above. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Got it. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Er, the "legion" quote is used twice. I'm hoping this wasn't intentional. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Nope, it wasn't. Fixed. I think I just copied the quote up there for the template and intended to replace the actual quote. I fixed it. --Colinmcev 22:16, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 3) *It's been a little while since I've read this particular issue of Rogue Squadron, but is Weir stated to be a storm commando?
 * 4) *Correct me if I'm wrong; I don't think we generally cite by issue, but by story arc.
 * 5) *Some minor little things cleaned up, but that's about it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:13, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I am aware that the Discussion and Quotes page links are redlinks right now, and that the summary info for the two pictures I scanned are missing. When I put this entry together, for some odd reason, Wookieepedia wouldn't let me create any new pages, so I couldn't add any of these things. I have the stuff saved in a TXT file, so I'll try again in a day or so and hopefully it will be resolved. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Also, for some remarkably frustrating reason, I found that every time I tried to edit a single section, as opposed to the entire article, it removed my entry entry, reverted to the old one, and showed no sign of my previous edits in my contributions or in the history. I have copy and pasted my entry into a TXT file and saved it in case this happens again. I imagine this is just some temporary bug that is probably fixed by the time you are reading this, but just in case, maybe if you edit something you can edit the whole article, not just a section? --Colinmcev 05:54, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:44, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Objections/Comments resolved via IRC.  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:00, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:21, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * Could a different image be used for the infobox? Big speech bubbles aren't my thing.
 * 3) **Me neither, but I've been hard pressed to find a better image. The only other options are the images in the "A quest begins" section or the bodyshot one from Legacy 0, neither of which really appeal to me. I'll look into it, anyway.
 * 4) * Vao and Fel being persecuted by Darth Talon is set up twice.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * Explain what a coralskipper is.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * Graestan ( Talk ) 19:55, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Toprawa:
 * 10) *This doesn't quite make sense to me. Is there any way being his peer would make him not have respect? "and held considerable respect for him even as his peer"
 * 11) *Please go through and do a better job of linking appropriate things. Coruscant, Emperor, Prosthetic etc.
 * 12) *Please elaborate on why he is showing them leniency: "Roan Fel, the Emperor, guaranteed not to strike at the Jedi as they all returned to Ossus under Kol Skywalker's orders."
 * 13) *Please reword this sentence. You use the same structure "---, though, ---" in the sentence before this. "The Zabrak himself was calm, though,"
 * 14) *Please reword. The second clause makes the entire phrase awkward: "Realizing that his apprentice had almost touched the dark side, Sazen warned him not to,"
 * 15) *And, please, finish off the remainder of that sentence. Just reads awkwardly: "telling Cade that it would only further corrupt him to fight the Sith."
 * 16) *Please reword to avoid using the "though" structure too often: "and he was left extremely grief-stricken, though he eventually overcame this."
 * 17) *Per the recently passed CT, please move the article this is linked to to "Unidentified" rather than "Unknown": "and another"
 * 18) *Please reword. Avoid lazy generalizing: "arrival of around half a dozen Sith"
 * 19) *"Intercepted" seems a bit out of place here. Please choose a more formal word for "crashed": "who had somehow learned of the meeting and had intercepted it"
 * 20) *What is this "Hand"? Please explain and give context: "Vao wished to hunt down the Hand on Vendaxa"
 * 21) *Please reword to avoid overuse of "though": "arrived in ships, though Sith reinforcements had followed them"
 * 22) *Please give this some context. This is never explained previously: "Draco wanted them to leave immediately so Princess Fel's injuries could be treated"
 * 23) *Avoid overusing "though": " though Fel's condition was rapidly deteriorating."
 * 24) *Ditto: "Sazen tried to talk to his former apprentice, though Skywalker sent him away."
 * 25) **Apologies for the incomplete review, but I will finish this up at a later time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:47, 31 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) From the Undisclosed Location of Darth Culator:
 * 27) *Intro quote needs a more specific source.
 * Image:Sazen Daluuj.JPG needs a more specific source.
 * 1) *Biography/Jedi Master heading has no quote and every other section has one. This feels wrong.
 * 2) *That's it for now. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 19:18, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Will be updated when new material comes out, et cetra. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:44, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.--Colinmcev 06:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Ebola? Nah!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:29, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood
 * 2) * Introduction should be merged into one paragraph; also, the last subsection of it needs to be rewritten for accuracy (the Vratix is a species of insectoid, not a medicine)
 * 3) **Although you're obviously 100% correct on the Vratix thing (that was just a typo, now fixed), I really don't think one giant paragraph is the answer here. I agree with Lord Hydronium; the lack of a picture on the side makes them look shorter than they are. Any chance you might change your mind on that objection? --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Could you at least merge either the first two or last two paragraphs? Also, "it was eventually eradicated the Vratix, a bacta-producing medicine from Thyferra, which combined bacta and ryll kor to develop rylca," is still incorrect.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I did some expanding to the intro. Let me know if you think it's better. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * A longer introduction may be necessary, given the length of the article itself, that touches on more of the major points.
 * 7) **I wouldn't be averse to a longer introduction, although offhand I don't really think it's necessary and might be a bit overdone if it were too long. That being said, do you have any suggestions as to what specific major points should be touched on in the intro that aren't already? If I had that guidance, I'd be cool with making it longer, if need be... --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Infoboxes don't take up that much room...but then my resolution is pretty high. Meh.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please spell out small numbers in the article ("twelve" instead of "12")&mdash;this is more a style issue.
 * 10) **This is one of my reporter things; AP style says spell the numbers out up until 10, then start using numerals. But I'm down with what you're saying, and I fixed it. --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***If I may interject, Colin and I are both journalists, so I understand his using AP style for numerals. I do the same thing, and have encountered inquiry from users reviewing my articles. Please see my current Samoc Farr nomination up the list. This is indeed more of a style issue and as such, since there is no policy regarding the matter, should not be dictated to be done one way or another. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Thanks for addressing this. We're not a newspaper, ya'know... ;-) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *****hehe I know. Sometimes my little habits are hard to break. I'll fix the rest of these objections after work today. --Colinmcev 13:59, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Please replace the numbered list for stages of the disease with prose; this will cut down on the number of ref tags and generally make for a tidier article.
 * 15) **Well...this is just my preference (sorry I'm being so difficult! lol) but I like the numbered list for the stages. I know it cuts down the number of ref tags and that shorter paragraphs are a no no, but I felt like this was the way to describe the stages that made the most sense, and I thought it made the article as a whole sort of unique. I did change it to prose, but I'd encourage you and others to compare and contrast the two ways and see if you like the numbered list better. --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ***The sentiment is understandable, however doing it this way keeps consistency with other articles. Thanks.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *TIMMMMMBERRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:21, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) Toprawa:
 * 19) *A few things I've noticed after glancing through the article:
 * 20) *No era tags?
 * 21) **Oops, fixed. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) *Your list of aliens infected must be sourced.
 * 23) **Done. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Source list should be ordered by OOU publication date.
 * 25) **Done. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *Will go through this in its entirety soon. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) IIRC, Sian Tevv wasn't actually infected by the virus, but had just been exposed to it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) **Hmm, looks like you're right. Removed --Colinmcev 16:33, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) ***It might be worth mentioning in the history section that there was a risk of his contracting the virus, to illustrate that it wasn't just the poor people who got hit. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:35, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Good idea. I added a reference into the Infections and unrest section. --Colinmcev 23:46, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) From Greyman:
 * 32) *To me, the section "Aliens infected by the Krytos virus" seems redundant almost. Is there any way to include those names in the actual body of the article somewhere? In prose? Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:31, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) **Sure. I was on the fence about that section anyway, especially considering that millions were actually infected, and that section only identified a small handful. I added the names to the prose and dropped it. --Colinmcev 22:21, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I figured this was a natural to follow Evir Derricote. It proved to be a pretty big challenge though, especially since there was no real precedent (that I found) to follow for nominating a virus or bioweapon. I found that rather than have a straightforward chronological history of the virus, it was better to talk about the virus a bit first then get into the history, hence the "Biology" and "History" categories and the sub-categories. I hope you'll agree that this was the best way to approach it. And, unfortunately, I don't believe there are any real Krytos pictures out there, but I tried to include as many supporting pics as I could.--Colinmcev 06:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Good idea, an FA on a virus. That's a new one for the Wook... ;-) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:21, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Disagree on the introduction. The lack of a picture on the side makes each paragraph and the whole thing seem shorter than it really is. - Lord Hydronium 03:23, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm fairly certain I, or another user, can cook up an infobox for this type of article. I'll see what I can do, and post it for your consideration, Colinmcev :) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I was thinking the same thing as Greyman. I know we can put one together. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:48, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * There are certainly enough diseases to merit one and I have faith in our l33t coding skillz. Blastonecrosis, Emperor's Plague, etc. Suggestions for fields might include a name, created by, created when, species susceptible to, transmission type, maybe incubation period. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:24, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Here you go, Colinmcev :) Template:Infobox disease. As with other infoboxes, it has been created so that if a field is left blank, then it will automatically hide when it is saved. Have fun, Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 14:58, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Sweet, thanks! Nice to have an infobox for this. --Colinmcev 15:40, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) I'm raking hell with the references! *Maniacal laughter*  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:40, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:32, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Instead, Skywalker stated that the immediate goals of the Jedi were to find a new location for their refuge; Celchu’s presence and eventual report would compromise their secrecy, recover the kidnapped Allana, the heir of the Hapes Cluster, who was being held prisoner as political and personal leverage over Hapan Queen Mother Tenel Ka, and to destroy Centerpoint Station with the aid of Joran Seyah to prevent its use by either the Confederation or Galactic Alliance." Confusing. I get what you’re trying to say but the part about Celchu interrupts the whole sentence.
 * 3) **Set off the Celchu part with a pair of dashes instead. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "As Celchu could now justifiably say he was coerced if questioned by his superiors, he agreed to Skywalker’s plan, his long ties with many members of the Jedi Order, as well as Antilles, Solo, the Horns influencing his decision." Explain who the Horns are. I think you're missing an "and" too.
 * 5) **Got it, I think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Following their successful mock pursuit of Reveille, Antilles directed Rakehell Squadron to commence a similar routine, this time on Broadside. However, this time they were opposed by Galactic Alliance starfighters, and not just any unit." Remove one of the “this times”.
 * 7) **Cleared up. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Even glancing shots intended to damage the Rogues were insufficient to stop the famous squadron and Rakehell casualties were mounting. Even as he fought and flew, Antilles noted that while at least two Rogues, including Rogue Leader, a Duros named Lensi, had been killed, the Rakehells had suffered losses of their own." Remove an "even". Also, "as he fought and flew" should be changed to another wording.
 * 9) **Changed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "With Celchu having returned to the Galactic Alliance, Rakehells had only eight pilots remaining in the engagement zone." Should it be “the Rakehells”?
 * 11) **Yes, it should, and now it is. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Just before they left, the Rakehells observed the detonation of Centerpoint Station, which obliterated both the Corellian/Commenori fleets and the Galactic Alliance flotilla, aside from the ‘’Anakin Solo’’, and brought the battle to an abrupt halt. Italicize the Anakin Solo.
 * 13) **Oops. Carryover from a cut and paste. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Cheriss ke Hanadi was a female Adumari whom Wedge Antilles met during the New Republic’s inaugural diplomatic mission to Adumar." When was this mission?
 * 15) **Tidbit added. 13 ABY. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Nice article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:21, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Image objections:
 * Image:WedgeAntilles.jpg: There's some sort of checkered distortion covering the entire picture.
 * Image:Corran tfp.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:JainaTahiri.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:Zekk(2).jpg: Needs a crop. Also, it contains massive .jpg artifacts.
 * --Imperialles 12:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Ataru says:
 * WARNING! Fury spoilers, and more!
 * Yes, it is a single source nom. Don't let all those refs fool you.
 * I anticipate lots of objections, as this was written kind of fast and loose, but some of the things are intentional.
 * I know there's not much BTS info. I've e-mailed Source A for more, but no telling when I'll get a response.
 * First squadron article up for FA, so be wary of citing other precedents. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I didn't think it was possible to have that many refs for a single-source FA.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:54, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inq/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 06:05, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Whoever made this totally awesome piece of canon is totally awesome. But he would never let it influence his FAN vote. - Lord Hydronium 06:50, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:16, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:40, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:15, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * Image:Boxy.JPG should be redone as a .png file, as per policy. --Imperialles 14:28, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Done. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:55, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Dang young upstart whippersnappers roused me from my slumber. Thefourdotelipsis 06:05, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * :D -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:16, 30 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Comes in just barely over a thousand words. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:22, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 02:45, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Lord Hydronium 04:41, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * Forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't Alliance Intelligence Reports his first appearance, with ANH being a retcon? Thefourdotelipsis 08:01, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, I wouldn't say it's a retcon per se, since the AIR character is almost definitely meant to be the ANH character (it says that he was present at the Mos Eisley Cantina when Obi-Wan hacked off Baba's arm), but the CCG explicitly states the two are the same. If that makes sense. I'm of no real opinion anyway, so if you still want me to, I'll alter the templates. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:59, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Encouraged to do this by Gonk and Eyrezer, after Gonk tricked encouraged me to write him up over IRC. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 23:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * There are still a few redlinks at time of nomination: Evinn Dastt, Greg Gorden, Greg Costikyan, and Thannik. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 23:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * It's below the limit of three now, I guess. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 03:20, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * List in the bio, and the bio needs better sectioning, whether it's anecdotes or not. See Gunman for examples. Thefourdotelipsis 02:47, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * You mean it needs sectioning of any sort in the bio... As for the list, I honestly thought that was the best way to format the miscellany there.  I think it's better than presenting it as a prosified list, at least. I'll get back to you if I have a better idea, though. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 03:20, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(1 Inq/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Havac 23:37, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:39, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Went through this already; take note - this is how BTS sections are to be done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) *"After a brief discussion between the two Jedi, during which Hett refused to put an end to his campaign of aggression, Kenobi and Hett dueled for supremacy." I wouldn't exactly call it a duel for supremacy. That implies it was an alpha-male type thing.
 * 3) *Change the caption of th first image (right under the infobox). "Surviving Order 66" sounds strange.
 * 4) *In the last picture (bottom left) depicting is spelled wrong.
 * 5) *"These claims revolved around the idea that had Kenobi killed Hett following their duel, he could have saved the galaxy untold amounts of grief." Reword to avoid using "untold amounts of grief".
 * 6) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * An original creation of mine, from way back in the fall. I just did some expansion on it, so it's FAN time. Oh, and surprise, surprise: it's not TOTJ :P Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:39, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) People need to stop making character FANs. - Lord Hydronium(Oya!) 03:18, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Image objections:
 * Image:Kast face.jpg: Artifacty.
 * Image:Jodo Kast.jpg: Awful .jpg artifacts present.
 * Image:IG-72.JPG: .jpg artifacts.
 * Image:Jodo-Kast.jpg: You cannot be serious.
 * 1) **That's the highest quality scan Jaymach could get from the source. Take it up with Gamer. - Lord Hydronium 21:41, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Kast Explosion.jpg: Artifacty.
 * Image:Kast1.jpg: Artifacty.
 * --Imperialles 14:21, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) *Infobox image has to change. That really doesn't represent Kast as he is seen most commonly.
 * 3) *Intro should be expanded a bit, to summarize more information in less general language.
 * 4) *Death in the intro is vague. Whose jetpack? Please clarify.
 * 5) *Explain in the article the significance of the I2-CG droid, and why the Rebels sent a team in&mdash;and why the Imperials did, for that matter.
 * 6) *Kast warned her about the killing, or the bounty?
 * 7) *Explain who Ponda Baba is, and a bit more about the run-in.
 * 8) *Why was Kast's taking a job with the Empire fortunate for Baba? Explain.
 * 9) *No article/redlink for the type of dart? I've seen lesser things get them.
 * 10) *Explain Arno's significance.
 * 11) *Were sent on their way, or just went on their way?
 * 12) *Context is needed for Fett's sarlacc venture.
 * 13) *"Dengar, realizing from the mistakes that Kast had made and the fact that he was pulling a gun on another hunter that it was not Fett, warned him about imitating the other bounty hunter." – Could be reworded for clarification.
 * 14) *A blaster to whose head? What had been a hologram? Clarify.
 * 15) *I don't think Fett was angry that Kast was "no one." He was telling Kast that to insult him.
 * 16) *"was less equipped &hellip; it was equipped" – Please change.
 * 17) *Kast's ship isn't described until the Equipment section, and then only receives a brief mention? I think this needs to be rectified.
 * 18) *The BtS is very bare-bones, and at the very least needs to be fleshed out with appearance information. Describing the development of his role through his appearances is desired. Were there no retcons involved?
 * 19) *Source list needs to be in order of publication dates.
 * 20) *References are not completely linked.
 * 21) * Graestan ( Talk ) 18:18, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) Toprawa:
 * 23) *Can you not find a better image for his infobox? Ideally, should show him in his helmet
 * 24) *The intro as a whole could be rewritten better:
 * 25) **No reason to have succinct two sentence paragraphs. Condense some.
 * 26) **The first sentence of the introduction should be written to sum him up in a nutshell in a few words. If you had to explain to someone who Kast was in one sentence, that should be it. Mentioning him as a member of the Alliance before calling him a bounty hunter in this first sentence doesn't give the correct context. Save chronological biography mentions for subsequent sentences.
 * 27) **Additionally, the first paragraph of the intro could be fleshed out a little bit: where/how did he get his Mandalorian armor? Who mistook him for Fett? How did he capitalize on this case of mistaken identity? It wouldn't hurt to even give a brief mention of the effect it had on Fett himself, as substantial as this is
 * 28) **Please provide a brief descriptor for Boba Fett, regardless of how well-known he is. Who is he?
 * 29) **Please rewrite this sentence. It's not really saying anything - too overly generalized: "He won some, he lost some." So? What did this mean for his career? Additionally, who is Adar Tallon? Who is Cornelius Evazan. Provide greater context: "Kast participated in a number of hunts, some successful, some, like those of Adar Tallon and Cornelius Evazan, unsuccessful."
 * 30) **This sentence should be reordered somewhere previously to provide greater context for why he modeled himself after Fett: "Kast concerned himself with building his reputation and establishing himself as a rival to Boba Fett."
 * 31) *Please provide greater context this for this sentence. Ideally, years of service: "Jodo Kast was once a SpecOps resistance member, fighting for the Rebellion when it was still confined to local insurrections"
 * 32) *The rest of that first biography paragraph could be beefed up a little bit. Avoid too many simple, single clause sentences.
 * 33) *Please explain what Goratak III is. A planet? Where is the planet located?: "A Plexus Droid Vessel with sensitive information on Rebel manufacturing operations crashed on Goratak III"
 * 34) *Why is this droid substantial/notable? Was it carrying something? "ejecting an I2-CG droid into that world's Crystal Forests"
 * 35) *Please elaborate on why the Rebellion and Empire were dispatching forces. What were they after? Motives? "The Rebellion dispatched three squads&mdash;Red Smoke, Safari One, and Buzz Boys&mdash;one of which Kast was in, as well as Grindol Maal and the Force-sensitive Wuwuhuul. The Empire sent their own forces, including the Mandalorian Feskitt Bobb."
 * 36) *At the end of this section, please beef up your sentences and paragraphs. No one, two sentence paragraphs. Elaborate and condense: How, specifically, did he come across this armor? "Kast retrieved a suit of Mandalorian armor from the planet Zaadja,"
 * 37) *Why did he join up with these two? Who are they, specifically? What was his/their reasons for doing so? "It was not long before he joined with fellow hunters Zardra and Puggles Trodd"
 * 38) *Please provide a brief description of what Taboon is: "to find Kast in the Red Shadow cantina on Taboon"
 * 39) *Don't assume readers know who or what a concept is, no matter how well-known something may be. Keeping this in mind, please provide a descriptor for who Jabba is. Avoid just dropping concepts in: "Jabba later placed a bounty on her for the killing"
 * 40) *Please confirm that the source explicitly says that it was "believed" that Kast warned from an IU perspective. Additionally, please explain what happened to their partnership? Who left whom? Where did they go? Motives? "Jabba later placed a bounty on her for the killing, which Kast was believed to have warned her about."
 * 41) *Same with previous objections; who is Ponda Baba? Why did join up with Baba? What did it mean to each of them?Additionally, please rewrite to avoid these simple, single clause sentences: "Kast had a run-with Ponda Baba"
 * 42) *Again, to sum up these objections as I go along, you too hastily summarize concepts and ideas without explaining them enough. Please beef up your writing. Who was his partner? How did he kill him? Where did this fight occur? : "The bounty hunter killed Baba's partner"
 * 43) *He promised him this? Explain this as part of his motivation previously, and please elaborate on this promise: "then reneged on his promise to split the reward with Baba"
 * 44) *Please rewrite to elaborate on this "mangling" and to avoid the word "now" to stay away from any pretenses of the present tense: "a "doctor" who mangled his patients and who now had a bounty of a million credits on his head"
 * 45) *If possible, please elaborate on who his sources are: "Kast followed the information from his sources"
 * 46) *In the "Early hunts" section you start off every paragraph the same way. Please reword to mix it up a bit
 * 47) *The final paragraph of that section is much too PBPish. Please rewrite a bit.
 * 48) *Also, when you discuss these early hunts, please explain whether or not his clients/targets thought he was Kast or Fett
 * 49) *Please link this to whatever sector we are talking about: "issued a sector-wide bounty"
 * 50) *Please elaborate on why she had sneaked aboard the ship: "Kast helped deal with a Rebel agent on board, Dana"
 * 51) *Please elaborate on what the station is, where it is, and why the Relentless is there: "As the Star Destroyer was docked at Kwenn Space Station"
 * 52) *Please rewrite to avoid this simplified generalization. Flesh it out: "While the others did battle"
 * 53) *Explain in greater detail what's going on here. He slipped back into the airlock? As in, he was there previously? Where was this airlock on this ship? In the docking bay? What was in the airlock? Did he jettison himself out into space? "Kast slipped back into the airlock"
 * 54) *Please rewrite to simply say "0 BBY" rather than just pipelinking to avoid sticking resync dates like this into the article. Keep in mind that we write for the casual observer, and no one is going to know what this is. To achieve what I believe what you're after, explain that it was in 0 ABY and then provide greater context "X months before the Battle of Yavin" or whatever: "Kast was on Tatooine as early as 35:3:6"
 * 55) *Additionally, this does not mesh or transition well with the previous paragraph. I thought he was already on Tatooine looking for Tallon? Please clarify: "Kast was on Tatooine as early as 35:3:6"
 * 56) *Please provide a descriptor for this person: "when he told Spurch Goa"
 * 57) *Please reword to clarify who you mean here. Goa? Kast? "He and his fellow hunters"
 * 58) *This sentence seems confusing. So, he's randomly going into the Jundland Wastes to keep other hunters in line? I suspect he had another motive for going there. Please explain: "Kast sent Trodd to sign up the other bounty hunters to accompany him on a journey into the Jundland Wastes, his way of keeping the less competent ones in line"
 * 59) *Elaborate here. How did he kill her? Where did he kill her? Did she think he was Fett? "Kast killed Flats"
 * 60) *Elaborate on why he is threatening this person: "threatening the local Old Arno"
 * 61) *Why is he deciding to eliminate them? Please explain: "had intended to meet with Flats and Arno, he decided to eliminate them"
 * 62) *You write as "the cantina" as though the reader knows what you're talking about. What cantina? Explain and link, please: "drew them into an ambush at the cantina"
 * 63) *Please elaborate on what happened here. Did his hunters succeed? Why did he leave? Cowardice? "Kast's hunters fell upon them, their orders to kill, and Kast himself arrived in the middle of the fighting to fire a poison dart at the group, then fled."
 * 64) *How did the Rebels win here? You say in the next sentence that he failed. How, specifically? "The Rebels were ultimately victorious, however, and Kast fled"
 * 65) *This speculation does not belong in the main body of the article. I thought you voted for moving ambig canon into the BTS? At any rate, this is where this piece belongs: "He may have participated in Arden Lyn's combat tournament in this time as well. "
 * 66) *Please provide a little bit of contextual detail here. Don't assume we know what this is, that he "fell into the sarlacc." "even after Fett fell into and later emerged from the sarlacc"
 * 67) *Please elaborate on what/where Fluwhaka is: "independently tracked Nosstrick, the last of Jerresk's crew, to Fluwhaka"
 * 68) *What is a detonator? A thermal detonator? If so, please explain and link: "Nosstrick attempted to ambush Kast with a detonator"
 * 69) *Please reword this. You refer to Kast throughout this entire paragraph alternatively as "the bounty hunter" and then randomly switch off to refer to Dengar like this. Confusing: "Kast let Dengar leave, and the bounty hunter, "
 * 70) *This is kind of a random description after you say he was running down the stairs. Should specify that he tripped, fell, whatever: "catching up with Hiicrop as he was sprawled on the floor."
 * 71) *This section, specifically, of the last paragraph in the Fett section is rather PBP. Please rewrite: "Fett damaged Kast's jetpack, and Kast fell, catching Fett around the ankle; Fett then fired a paralyzing nerve toxin into his neck, and Kast crashed to the ground. Fett stripped Kast of his jetpack, then removed his helmet; upon seeing that Kast was "no one," Fett grew angry and began pulling off Kast's armor as he informed the bounty hunter of the dangers of taking a reputation unearned."
 * 72) *This description does not match what you have previously, or even what you have later in this same section. The description: "In his years as a bounty hunter, Kast took on only the best-paying jobs" and the previous description: "Though the bounties Kast took were not first rate," and the later description: "though they were not the first-rate jobs". Please clarify this contradiction
 * 73) *Again, avoid speculation in your writing. This description belongs in the BTS.: "He may have participated in Arden Lyn's combat tournament in this time as well."
 * 74) *Please paraphrase direct quotes rather than putting quotes in the article body. That's why we have quote headers: "Jodo Kast never forgets," he was to known to have said"
 * 75) *This rather POV. Please reword to avoid this: "He was not as skilled as Fett"
 * 76) *Please elaborate on what kind of ship this is. Do we know where he got it from? When did he use it? "Kast's personal vessel was the Foxcatch"
 * 77) *The BTS is rather pedestrian and needs to be fleshed out including notable appearances, first creation, talk about Teras Kasi here and expand on his role in the game, etc. I would suggest, in the spirit of Mandalorian armor, to take a look at Fenn Shysa and take some notes from Cull. He knows how to write a good BTS.
 * 78) *Source list is not in correct order.
 * 79) *Please link your references.
 * 80) ***And one final note, Hydro, because I know how you can be, I've experienced your attitude with TwinTail, I'm not about to begin childish pissing matches with you over these objections. You can take them in stride and do your best to address them, or you can choose not to. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:11, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just as a note, the infobox images does not have to change at all. I don't know where that one was plucked from. Thefourdotelipsis 22:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)