Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Evacuation of Rychel


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Evacuation of Rychel

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 08:50, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:This was a lot of fun.

(5 Inqs/3 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very well done.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:37, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Too bad Le'Ung didn't become a major player&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:51, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  12:46, September 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) --  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 17:46, October 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Informative and entertaining. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:39, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:34, December 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:23, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:23, January 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Just a few objections&hellip;
 * 2) * First off, isn't the title of this article conjectural? Nothing I read seems to indicate that it's the canon name for the event.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Infobox: There's a ~ by the "4 Bulwark-class battlecruisers".
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * First paragraph of intro: "commanded by Pau'an Master Lar Le'Ung&hellip; I'm not gonna pretend I don't know what you mean, Tommy, cause I do. But someone unfamiliar with the subject might not. Could you clarify that Le'Ung is a Jedi?
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Third paragraph. Could the Battle of Artorias be linked in here. Can it also be linked in the "Background" section?
 * 9) **Oversight on my part, addressed.
 * 10) * Soldiers and death need to be linked in the intro.
 * 11) **Another oversight. Addressed.
 * 12) *That's it, Tommy. Did a great job, as usual.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 13:22, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Kasra. Please advise if anything else is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 13:56, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No problem, dude.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:51, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Nayayen
 * 16) * Intro: "...the battle originally began as an evacuation effort of the planet Rychel..." It was originally an evacuation; you don't say what it then turned into.
 * 17) **Never mind, I misread a sentence.
 * 18) * Can you check if that is the correct source for the quote in "Unexpected developments"?
 * 19) **Wow my mistake. Addressed.
 * 20) * One little thing in the Bts: "Though the planet Rychel was first mentioned in the previous issue, its first appearance was also in part three of Invasion: Refugees." This doesn't seem to make sense given the following sentence.
 * 21) **See how that works.
 * 22) *This is the first time I've reviewed your work Tommy and, aside from those minor niggles, I very much enjoyed reading it. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] talk  21:26, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks Nayayen, I'm glad you enjoyed it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:45, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) Harrar
 * 25) * As others have said, this article is very well written and nicely detailed. My major problem with it is that it feels heavily weighted toward the New Republic. The title is the main culprit, but essentially this is the Battle of Rychel, no? Tsalok invades it and lays siege, and the New Republic responds. But you've got neutrality issues throughout the introduction and the article. It seems to be that everything is witnessed by New Republic troopers and Jedi, that a lot of the article is how they respond to the Yuuzhan Vong. An example would be "They were delayed by Tsalok, who tore through the ranks", which could easily be switched to "Tsalok tore through the ranks". I'm not asking for a re-write, but for you to consider balancing the perspectives more thoroughly. I don't want to be difficult, however, so if you or other Inqs feel I'm being unfair, I'll reconsider my objection.
 * 26) **Hey Harrar thanks for the review, as always. I hear and understand what you are saying, but I did the article in this manner for several reasons. When it's first presented to us (the reader) in the comic, the Jedi who alerts Luke states that the Republic wants the Jedi to assist with evacuation efforts; the fact that the Jedi are in charge of the situation made it a "Jedi mission". Le'Ung's statement upon their arrival over Rychel, "Your primary objective is to locate civilians and get them to an evacuation ship" further reinforces this. It is a battle, yes, but it only turned into one because the Yuuzhan Vong had to be prevented from hindering the evacuation. The third reason is that as soon as Luke was satisfied that all who could be saved had been, he ordered the retreat. In most of the other battles we see taking place in this tumultuous galaxy, annihilation is the prime objective of either side; not so here. Thus, the article is written primarily from the perspective of a "Jedi mission" to save the helpless citizens from these invaders. You follow me? Let me know what you think, and thanks again for the review, friend. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 13:37, September 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) Just a few from the Academy
 * 28) * I would check through and make sure you've italicized the correct instances of "Bulwark".
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * Although they were on the side of the Republic, the civilans weren't fighting forces on their side, so I'd move the civilian casualties to the "Civilian casualties" field on the infobox.
 * 31) **The infobox template doesn't provide specifically for "civilian casualties." —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 00:27, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***I believe that was included a while back. I added it in for now. My only familiarity with its use was on the Battle of Ryloth article, but if that's incorrect then feel free to remove it here. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:39, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *Other than that, great article. My only other suggestion was part of Harrar's objection, that being the title. While the event was presented from the Jedi point of view, and while the Jedi would call it the Evacuation of Rychel, I don't believe that the Vong would title it similarly. It's more likely they would call it the Invasion of Rychel, or something similar. Regardless, calling it the Evacuation doesn't really detract from the quality of the article, but for the sake of NPOV, I would suggest a move. But again, I'm with Harrar on the flexibility of this suggestion. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:57, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Striken per your above response. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:50, October 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Thanks and appreciate the review, Dark Lord. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 00:39, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Star Wars Invasion: 3 yet. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:45, September 20, 2009 (UTC)