Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Mission to Yavin 4


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mission to Yavin 4

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:12, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Honestly surprised it's this long.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Looks great to me.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:41, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Good work, rock on! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:01, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 13:04, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  JangFett  (Talk) 05:48, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:28, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Graestan ( Talk ) 23:31, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Some small objections:
 * 2) * The term "Reformed Sith Empire" makes me wonder which definition of "reformed" you're using. I'd prefer "re-founded" or "reconstituted" or something along those lines. Ideally, an official adjective would be uniformly used to distinguish this Sith Empire from the others across all articles, especially Sith Empire and the disambiguation page. In the intro you describe it as the "exiled Sith Empire". It'd just be great if we got something from BioWare on this.
 * 3) **I use the term reformed, as it was reformed under the leadership of the Emperor. I'll replace it with re-constituted for now. I would advocate usage of something along the lines of Sith Empire-in-exile, but it would only be considered "in exile" up until its return from unknown space. Keep in mind that self-imposed exile is still exile, so the term "exiled Sith Empire" is still correct. I usually wouldn't place an adjective in front of "Sith Empire," but as this is a conflict between two "Sith Empires" with identical names it was necessary.
 * 4) ***Could "returned" work? As in, "returned-from-exile"? Maybe this should be a discussion on the TOR WP talk page? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:13, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I support the discussion, but at the time which this article takes place, the Empire is not yet "returned." It's still in hiding.
 * 6) * I would think that Gynt would be listed as one of the casualties. Maybe "Gynt lost in action, reported as killed in action" or something.
 * 7) **I put him as missing in action, as the report doesn't really matter in regards to what goes in the infobox.
 * 8) * In the intro, you use the very distinctive term "still-lingering" which is then featured in a quote used in the article. I'd rather you vary that if you're going to use the quote. (If you'd really rather keep it, just say so and I can strike this.)
 * 9) **If you can suggest a better term to substitute it with, I'd be happy to use it, but "Still-lingering" seems to be the most precise way to describe it.
 * 10) ***I would have just used "remaining", but I'll strike it as that's a preference thing. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:13, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * In the prelude paragraphs, you never mention that Ovair and Gynt were "Jedi scholars" even though you mention that Ovair was a Sith infiltrator.
 * 12) **If I'm not mistaken, they were never specifically identified as such in the timeline. Jedi scholars is a very specific branch within the Jedi Order, so I hesitate to brand them as such without official confirmation. Naming Ovair as a Sith Infiltrator is essential to understanding the story, however.
 * 13) ***From the transcript: Having a similar heritage, the venerated Jedi scholar, Master Barel Ovair, took Gynt as his apprentice., so it's only Ovair that's the Jedi historian, but he is identified as such. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:13, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Ah, thank you. It's been linked.
 * 15) * In the first "Aftermath" paragraph, you say Dark Lord's spirit on Yavin when I think you mean Dark Lord's spirit on Yavin 4.
 * 16) **My mistake, thanks for pointing it out. It's been fixed.
 * 17) *Nice work! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 20:07, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:30, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) The Grand Master
 * 20) * In the intro, you say that they "planned to search the Massassi Temples on Yavin 4 and delve into the tomb of the ancient Sith Lord Naga Sadow," but in the body, you mention only that they planned to explore Sadow's tomb. Which is correct?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Please make Ovair's intentions to destroy Sadow's spirit during the mission more explicit in the body. You mention that that was one purpose of the Ovair family, but you never really explicitly say that that was what Ovair hoped to achieve during this particular mission.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) *That's all. Nice work, as usual. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:41, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks so much for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:29, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Toprawa:
 * 27) * Two objections/questions. I'm curious regarding some of the spelling and punctuation from the article's quotes. Are these taken from subtitles or provided text in addition to the spoken dialogue from the source?
 * 28) **The quotes are directly from the transcript of the timeline, and as far as I could tell the only difference that I had between the two was two extra commas and a hyphen where there was not in the transcript. It's been fixed. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:51, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Ok, just please make sure to stay true to the original transcript. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * Also, the article reads that Ovair was "apparently insane as a result of the ordeal." Is this "apparently" your own speculation? Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, May 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) **They call him half-insane in the source, so I put in "apparently" to indicate that he appeared to be crazy, but wasn't nutty to the core. I've changed it to "partially," if that's preferable. Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:51, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Works for me. Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:54, May 22, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * In regards to the nomination comment: that's what she said. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:12, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * On a less immature note, it's at 1,015 words at the moment. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:18, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is there any reason it's at Mission to Yavin 4 (Inter–Sith Wars Period) as opposed to Mission to Yavin 4?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:26, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Only out of virtue of the fact that this was created and moved after the creation of Duel on Coruscant (Inter–Sith Wars Period). I just followed suit with the two names and specified a time period for this one too. I can move it, if you like. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:46, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'd prefer that this be moved to Mission to Yavin 4. There is already a Duel on Coruscant (during the Clone Wars), so that article doesn't need to be moved. Move this article, and you'll have my support.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:08, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Done. I'll go through and fix double redirects asap. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 17:58, May 16, 2010 (UTC)