Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * Inquisitorius FAN Triage
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
 * 4) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 5) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 6) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 7) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Lando Calrissian

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:35, 22 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From the two directors that brought you Tales of the Jedi and Wraith Squadron! From the project behind Jaina Solo! From the minds behind Mara Jade Skywalker, an action-packed adventure filled with suspense, betrayal, romance, and, of course, inimitable charm. Now playing: The smoothest FAN ever to grace this page, Lando Calrissian!

(2 Inqs/9 Users/11 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) As co-nominator. Greyman ( Talk ) 20:45, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Objections will be fixed soon as sources are checked by several users, including myself.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:29, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Imperialles 23:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) This article is supported by Mecenarylord on 23:12, 4 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) CC7567  [ http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/thumb/5/5f/Rex.png/20px-Rex.png] talk 00:30, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:34, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7)  JangFett  Talk 00:11, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) — The Flash  Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me bay-bay!  01:59, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Whoa. Nice work. –Victor  Sienar.svg (talk page ) 03:36, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Awesome this will win for sure.Wesker432 09:33, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  16:37, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) He's too smooth!--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:42, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

I dare object to Lando
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis:
 * 2) * No info whatsoever from Lando Calrissian: Idiot's Array and Crisis on Cloud City. Not smooth. Thefourdotelipsis 03:04, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The latter has been addressed; I've asked Borsk about the former. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Former is also addressed now. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:12, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Lord Hydronium:
 * 6) * Ditto Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin. - Lord Hydronium 03:10, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I've went ahead and added a sentence or two of some background information for this objection. I looked over my copy of the source again and couldn't see anything new beyond the sentences I just added. Is there something specific you're thinking of that I could work in? Greyman ( Talk ) 13:51, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *** There's some other bits on pages 50, 76, and 88. - Lord Hydronium 08:27, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Information added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * The mentions of Ymile are rather confusingly arranged. There's a picture of her near where Lando wins the bet with Raynor, but no reference to her in the text, then much later in the article it mentions she helped Lando win. That second part should be noted and clarified at the time it actually occurs; also, she should be linked there, since she isn't at the moment. - Lord Hydronium 00:39, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Succession box should include Treece; Action Tidings and the Cloud City Databank entry both say he was the Administrator of Cloud City. - Lord Hydronium 00:41, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Fixed the Ymile bits and buffed Lady Luck overall. Also, adjusted succession box, reffed from the actual Marvel comics though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:15, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Information missing on how Lando got back Cloud City, from The New Essential Guide to Characters. Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds not in; amongst the things to add is a bit in there about how Lando raised Tibanna profits that's also in the NEC. - Lord Hydronium 07:29, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) **The Tibanna profits bit is already in there, just referenced from another source. The Cloud City re-taking has been added. Still working on GATOW. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Two tidbits from GATORW added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:41, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ****Added it to the "Sources" list as well. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Oh, I see; I was searching for "percent". - Lord Hydronium 19:52, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * More NEGTC tidbits: Lando giving control of Cloud City to the Ugnaughts after Zorba cedes it. Lando refusing to go to Chewbacca's funeral out of guilt. From GG3: Lobot convinced Lando to help Leia and the group. - Lord Hydronium 07:45, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **All of the above fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) *More missing sources: Rebellion Era Sourcebook, Roleplaying Game Revised Core Rulebook, Roleplaying Game: Saga Edition Core Rulebook , Dark Empire Sourcebook, The Truce at Bakura Sourcebook, Han Solo and the Corporate Sector Sourcebook (I just spotted a small mention, but there could be more) , Heir to the Empire Sourcebook, The Last Command Sourcebook, and Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition . For now. - Lord Hydronium 23:23, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ** Rebellion Era Sourcebook is listed now, but it needs information from it. There's some on Page 111, for a start. - Lord Hydronium 07:01, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***The info on that page was already in the article. Could you tell me what specifically you are referring to? And the rest of the sourcebooks have been checked and added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:18, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *I had a whole thing for here before, a giant list of every piece of information I could find from these sources that was missing. Then my text editor crashed, so here's a much more general list. The Cloud City section from the RESB has information on Lando's neutrality. The RCR talks about him getting his fortunes and smuggling arms to the Rebellion. DESB needs a ton of information from it. Read the whole thing. Lando's section, Wedge's section, an inset in the Coruscant section, and the Star Destroyer section have major information missing from the article—everything up to Lando crashing on Coruscant is missing. The sourcebooks for HTTE and Dark Force Rising have important information in their Lando sections, as well as the Nkllon section of the former and Lady Luck section of the latter. Dark Force Rising overall needs major expansion. It barely touches on their capture by Garm, the entire search for the fleet, and the battle for the Katana. The first paragraph if the SOTE section is extremely vague and needs expanding; nothing is said about how Rendar is guiding them or how he abandons them, or where the Imperial forces come from.

My recommendation would be to withdraw the nom for now. It's missing too much major information from too many major sources. Dark Empire Sourcebook alone is a huge chunk not included, and with all that's been found, I frankly don't trust that this article is near complete. My advice would be to remove it, to read or reread all the sources thoroughly, rework the article, and then renom it when it's in a more complete state. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC) <!--#* The Young Calrissian comic is listed in the Non-canon section of the appearances, but is in the main body without any special tags. It should be consistent one way or the other. If, as it looks like, the story is mentioned in the CSWE, then I suggest it gets moved out of the non-canon section of the appearances. I also suggest that the reference to YC have a note added along the lines of: "This story was canonized by inclusion in the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia." His ship from this story could also get a mention in the Ships section later on. --Eyrezer 11:00, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Major buffs to SOTE and DFR completed. Will go through the other TTT-related sourcebooks soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Major buffs to HTTE Sourcebook completed, minor buff to Rebellion Era Sourcebook. If you want more information from that source, I'll need a page number, because I just read through the entire thing and found a whopping one sentence of minor information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:11, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****RESB's good. - Lord Hydronium 23:20, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Buffed RCRGR, working on the DFR, TLC sourcebooks. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******TLC sourcebook buffed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * for The Truce at Bakura, but it contains unique information to add. - Lord Hydronium 23:28, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *In addition to the above, the following appearances and mentions are missing: Out of the Closet: The Assassin's Tale, Darksaber, Force Heretic I: Remnant, Therefore I Am: The Tale of IG-88, Payback: The Tale of Dengar, The Last One Standing: The Tale of Boba Fett, X-wing: Rogue Squadron, X-wing: Wedge's Gamble, X-wing: Wraith Squadron, Young Jedi Knights: Heirs of the Force, Young Jedi Knights: The Lost Ones, Young Jedi Knights: Lightsabers, Young Jedi Knights: Darkest Knight, Young Jedi Knights: Shards of Alderaan, Young Jedi Knights: Jedi Bounty, and Young Jedi Knights: The Emperor's Plague. - Lord Hydronium 01:17, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Chack and I have addressed these. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:44, 26 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Force Heretic I has a bit about Lando from Jaina's childhood. Find text-searchable versions of these (ask on IRC if you need a source) and search through them for "Lando" or "Calrissian", please, because if the article's missing information from one, there's a chance it's missing from the others. - Lord Hydronium 03:29, 10 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ****No, no. You see, I did find that information when I went through and used text-searchable versions of these the first time. I just decided that particular tidbit was too anecdotal for inclusion in an encyclopedia article. However, if you're set on seeing "Calrissian also taught Jaina Solo to enjoy altha protein drinks during her childhood" in the article, I will add it, despite how trivial it seems. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:17, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *****By itself that tidbit might be too anecdotal, but I think the fact that Lando had more interaction with Jaina in her youth than just going on a mission with her is worth something. - Lord Hydronium 19:08, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ******After our discussion in IRC, I did a little more YJK research and added a paragraph about their interactions in general. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Almost forgot: None of the movie novelizations or radio dramas are included. - Lord Hydronium 01:19, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **This particular objection has been addressed, along with adding a number of other ESB and ROTJ-related appearances. I've checked both novelizations and will check with Tope to make sure there's no new info in the radio dramas. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:19, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Han will have these objections down! We've gotta give them more time! (In all seriousness, we are working on these). Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:40, 13 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Sorry, haven't checked those yet, but another: Galaxywide NewsNets from Adventure Journal 14. "Calrissian Resurfaces as Baron Administrator". - Lord Hydronium 06:36, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Mined. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:45, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *Wretched Hives of Scum and Villainy, page 13, bottom left. - Lord Hydronium 05:02, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Tweaked. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:13, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *Galaxywide NewsNets in Adventure Journal 5 has another article with Lando info, "Smugglers' Roster: Random Rumors". - Lord Hydronium 01:46, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **Also fixed. Fascinating info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:35, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Gah, redlinks in source list, mine Databank and Wizards. Those first two totally slipped me mind.  Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:19, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Red links busted. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:56, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *Databank has been mined and source list updated. Greyman ( Talk ) 15:32, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) Infobox not fully/correctly sourced.  Graestan ( Talk ) 04:24, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *I think I got the missing reference. If you desire other sourcing, please let me know. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:22, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) **Got it on the second try. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:26, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) I'd like to take Yrf's comment below and turn it into an actual objection; for instance, I know there are quotes to be had by or about Lando and/or what he was up to at the time for the LCA, TTT, and BFC. Ideally, since the sections are so long, each should probably have a quote.  Graestan ( Talk ) 13:48, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) *All sections now have quotes except three tiny sections in the "Non-canon appearances" section in the BtS since quotes do not exist for those parts. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:32, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Hope you found at least one funny one from LCA. ;) Graestan ( Talk ) 23:12, 25 November 2008 (UTC)
 * File:Lando91.jpg, File:LanLukVil.jpg, File:Weaklando.jpg, File:Lando&Luke Marvel71.jpg and File:Lando&Han captive.jpg could all do with a re-scan. Other than that, excellent work, and about time! :) --Imperialles 13:08, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *All done. I was bored and Ataru mentioned it at the right time. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:16, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Image placement is irrelevant to the text in a number of locations. SinisterSamurai 07:32, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've moved a few things around. As it stands, there are two images that aren't directly pertinent to the sections they are in: the Caamas Document crisis section, and in the Kessel investment sections, where we used generic Lando images to fill gaps that would have left lots of text with no complimentary images. As it is, there's a good balance of images to compliment the text, but by removing those, the article's appearance would suffer accordingly. And there is article precedent for using generic images to fill "gaps". If there were more relevant images that could be substituted in, just point me in their direction and I'll gladly change it, but for now, it should stay as it is. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:03, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Looks good.
 * 5) Needs info from Star Wars: Power of the Jedi. Thefourdotelipsis 08:54, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:55, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Eyrezer:
 * 1) **It doesn't seem to be mentioned in CSWE, according to Chack. I've added in non-canon tags in the main body, will get to the ships section soon. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:50, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***Correction. Our page seems to list the comic as canon, so I'll check and see if I can find where it was canonized. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:53, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****Purpilia added CSWE as a source on the Meek page, which is what I was going by. Probably not mentioned in Lando's article itself, though. --Eyrezer 09:24, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *****Yeah, I've fixed just about all the objection, need to add the ships section, though. ships section added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:28, 9 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******Great. With the Meek story, doesn't the CSWE say it was reported by HNN sources? This should be added, in a way that reflects the potential ambiguity or unreliability of the account that seems to be suggested in the Encyclopedia entry. --Eyrezer 14:03, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *******That's exactly what CSWE reports. I've updated the article to reflect that. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:36, 10 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Osuno Whett is reintroduced too abruptly in the ThonBaka section. It needs to be explained how/why he was there.
 * 8) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * Did Bria change her mind? I thought it might have always been her plan to rip off the smugglers.
 * 10) **Rebel Dawn and our Tharen article are ambiguous at best. I've ambiguified it also in the Lando article correspondingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "Shortly thereafter, Calrissian found himself on another treasure hunt sponsored by a trio of Hutts eagerly hunting the fabled Yavin Vassilika, a priceless, gemlike statuette, having been saved by Bib Fortuna after losing a game of sabacc." This makes it sound as though the Vassilika was saved by Fortuna.
 * 12) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Are you certain about the placement of the Ruins of Dantooine stuff? It would make so much more sense if it didn't interrupt his trip to Bespin...
 * 14) **Well, the Galaxy of Fear stuff happened in 7 months ABY, and Lando doesn't win Cloud City until after 2 ABY, according to AJ 14, which is set circa 2 ABY according to my sources. That's why the Ruins of Dantooine stuff is there&mdash;it's before he wins Cloud City and after the Galaxy of Fear stuff, as Ruins of Dantooine is set 1.5 ABY. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***A shame, but that seems right. --Eyrezer 23:48, 5 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * An appropriate mention of Tocneppil and Dash somewhere in the early sections should be added, based on that quote at the start of "Revenge attempts." Also a mention of Moabab would be good.
 * 17) **I'm not a big fan of saying "Calrissian met X" ten paragraphs before they actually have significant encounters with him, but I recognize that that opinion is not universally held. I've mentioned Tocneppil, Dash, and Mungo Baobab farther up, in a general sort of way since the timeline is unknown. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Yeah, I can understand that. I mainly requested it because Tocneppil was not otherwise mentioned in the bio.
 * 19) * Can you explain why EV-9D9 was a suspect at that early point? Do we know that the Idiot's Array story is not after EV's attempt?
 * 20) **I have no explanation, so I've moved EV-9D9's story to before Idiot's Array. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Great. I hoped that might be possible, but I wasn't sure. --Eyrezer 22:51, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Furthermore, he stated that he intended to keep things running smoothly at Calrissian, using a modus operandi he described as the Lando System." Is this meant to be running smoothly at Bespin?
 * 23) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * The Fact Files sources list needs to be expanded, and the reference notes likewise made more specific. (per this CT).
 * 25) **Cav has promised me FF goodness, will update as soon as I have my hands on them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Fact Files are now in the source list, and the references have been updated accordingly. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:12, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * I suspect that "the death of scientist Lem on Cloud City" is the same as "when a noted scientist, Doctor Issan Len was murdered." These should be combined.
 * 28) **I was hoping someone would say that. It only appears as Lem in the Fact File, but I left in just because one could look at it through a hyperinclusionist point of view and say that they're different incidents. Removed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***I added a redirect.
 * 30) * The image of Boba Fett in the Precursor section is out of place. Is there no appropriate image from Crisis on Cloud City?
 * 31) **Working on it, but the images from Crisis are junk in quality. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Okay, I was able to get my hands on scans on every image from Crisis, and there's only one tolerable image of Calrissian, and it's a small, crudely-drawn black & white. If you want that, I can scan it in, but otherwise, there's only some general pictures of Cloud City and other characters. That being the case, I swapped out the Bob Fett one for another one from ESB that's a little less time-sensitive. However, if you want that one from Crisis or another, we can discuss, and I'm open to suggestions. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Yeah, I really don't like having the ESB image there, but I agree that the pics from inside Crisis are bad. However, I have an idea! What about a crop of the colour image of a firefight on the back of Crisis? As this must be depicting the events of the book, it seems a suitable image. --Eyrezer 12:28, 12 May 2009 (UTC) EDIT: Here it is here. A cleaner version would be nicer. What do you think? --Eyrezer 10:15, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Uploaded and added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) * "Just as they rocketed off the station," in the Destruction fo the Tarkin section. Were they in space suits or another ship? Could you clarify?
 * 36) **Clarified, with thanks to QuiGonJinn for the info. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:07, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * A few of the WEG sources actually link to a disambig for first and second editions. Could you link to the actual ones, and add in the second editions, etc... unless we have policy otherwise.
 * 38) **I checked them, added in second editions for the two Galaxy Guides. I checked the others, but didn't see anything else at a first glance. Did you have other corrections in mind? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:02, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * I'm fairly certain Lando will be in a number of video game guidebooks. (On a quick look at the source list, I couldn't see any.) These likely include the guides from Demolition, Jedi Outcast, and others...
 * 40) **I've taken care of this one myself.
 * 41) ***I've also tweaked the article with some small tidbits of information. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) ****Great. --Eyrezer 23:03, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * Lando is in Star Wars: Rebellion (video game), and so also likely Rebellion: Prima's Official Strategy Guide. The game needs to be checked. --Eyrezer 08:27, 22 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **I've talked to Borsk and gotten info from the game. I'll need to work on the guide-it's rather hard to get a hold of. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I've been reliably informed that this source contains no new info. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:20, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * The Return to Cloud City section: "Spotting a chance to divert Lobot's attention from himself to the Imperials..." I don't understand how this is meant to work. How will attacking the trooper's divert Lobot's attention? Secondly, there is only one short paragraph on Star Wars 83: Sweetheart Contract. This should be expanded to the level of detail of the other Marvel comics. --Eyrezer 11:10, 24 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * In the first paragraph of the Black Sun section, it would be good just to add a little half-line regarding Luke. The previous section ends with him left behind, and I know that he has some other adventures/complications. While they don't need to be described, it should mention that Luke has rejoined the Rebels or something.
 * 49) **Sure. Done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Can you explain why Benedict Vidkun attacked them?
 * 51) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:33, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) *I added this pic, but you may prefer this one instead. --Eyrezer 10:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * In the Star Wars Technical Journal (Volume One), page 17, it is mentioned that Lando added the quad lasers to the MF. I haven't read down to the ships section yet, but this should be added if not already. --Eyrezer 11:46, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) **Adjusted. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 00:45, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * Finding Argo and Vanis: context on who Mone is. How was Calrissian and co able to buy it from the Imps without them realizing they were rebels? Wasn't it because Lando disguised himself as Drebble?
 * 56) **Tweaked up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) * In the same section, "There, Calrissian learned that Solo had been delivered to Jabba Desilijic Tiure while undercover on Arcan IV, posing as Drebble." It is not clear who was undercover. Also, the mention of Arcan IV in this sentence is probably unnecessary. You also need to mention how/why Lando already had The Minstrel in his possession.
 * 58) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * Which member of the gang tried to steal the statue? A number of the members have articles here, and so a link should be added to the appropriate one, or a redlink given.
 * 60) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:25, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * "They then helped Organa board the Falcon and returned to rendezvous with Alliance forces." A bit more info here, please. (Mission to Yinchorr section)
 * 62) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * You mention Calrissian is fluent in 18 languages. As far as possible, I think these should actually be specified in the Talents and abilities section. From earlier in the bio, we know that one is a Baragwinian trade dialect. Add this there too.
 * 64) **Did some looking around, found a number of specific languages. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:14, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * There needs to be a better conclusion to the Demolition paragraph: "But even that was not enough to impress Jabba and to be placed in the Hutt's palace as a guard". What happened in the competition? Did he win? Presumably we don't know exactly, but we must know something. A mention of other opponents could also be appropriate.
 * 66) **Tweaked, a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Remind me of this one next time we're both in IRC. I have a few questions.
 * 68) * "He was reluctant to abandon Leia to Jabba's mercy, but assured him she would be fine with a quick whisper." There is obviously a word missing here. I was going to add in a "she" but it seems from the next sentence that Leia didn't know it was Lando so it cannot have been her that was reassuring him... --Eyrezer 04:41, 22 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) **This objection was a pain, but after re-checking the radio drama and the novel, there appears to be a bit of a canon conflict. I've adjusted the text and tossed in a ref explaining everything. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***Sorry to cause you pain :P The change is acceptable.
 * 71) * There needs to be context between para 1 and 2 of the "The Battle of Endor" section, mentioning both the presence of the Star Destroyers, and the functional Death Star laser. I actually feel this and the Hutt guardsman section could do with a polish in terms of language and cohesiveness.
 * 72) **Took a stab at polishing both. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:10, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *** Page 139 of The New Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology has a quote that might give you another sentence or two to add to the Battle of Endor section, re Lando's interaction with Nein Nunb. --Eyrezer 11:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) *** "The Alliance knew that this fight would determine the fate of the war, as they would be engaging the Empire in a battle they had to win." This needs to be rewritten to be clearer as to what you mean. --Eyrezer 02:27, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *** You also have "upon reversion from hyperspace in two consecutive paragraphs (#2 and #3). The bit about knowing the Emperor would be there, as wellas believing that the laser was inoperational should be before the jamming part, which should also probably be joined with the trap part that comes later. --Eyrezer 02:29, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:57, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ***** I'll check this when I get home, but the discovery of the operational Death Star preceeded Lando's suggestion to close with the SDs, right? --Eyrezer 05:11, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ******Yes, and I thought the article had said that. Nevertheless, I tweaked it a bit. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)-->
 * 79) *In "Winning a Bet", Drebble is introduced with no context explaining why he had it in for Lando (or even linked). This should be explained to set up the Mission to the Hunter's World section later on. This also ties in to my objection above about the Finding Argo section... Likewise, this section is poorly connected back to the previous incident with Lemo and Sanda. It is as if both sections were written by different people unaware of what the other had written&mdash;which may actually have been the case. --Eyrezer 11:43, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) **I think I fixed it up, but did you want me to take a look at the Finding Argo section also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:54, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

<!--#* This is for an earlier section - you have consecutive refs for the Galaxywide NewsNets in SWAJ5 in the same paragraph. Is there meant to a different ref in between these? If not, they should be merged. --Eyrezer 03:09, 14 May 2009 (UTC) <!--#* This is a nasty one. I see from below that originally the Shadows of the Empire part was in the middle of the Marvel. You moved it because there seemed to be no discernible reason for it to be there. Well, there just may be one... in regard to Marvel 67, a poster on tfn points out "Interestingly enough, it just occurs to me that Shadows of the Empire must have already taken place before any of these Marvel stories because I realize Luke has a lightsaber and he constructed it in the start of that story." If Luke does construct a LS in SOTE, this seems a fair point. Can you check either way? It could do with a Bts explaining the placement if it gets moved back. --Eyrezer 09:33, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *Nagai-Tof war has two sentences in a row beginning with However. Actually this section feels too rushed. It could be expanded to provide more context and so be easier to follow. --Eyrezer 03:00, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Did some more expansion, but Lando doesn't do a whole lot on Zeltros besides party and get captured, until MSW 107. Let me know if you want more. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Got confused because it was off of two different parts of the NewsNet. Refs merged. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) * The formation of Lando's Commandos occurs at two separate places. Can the Tales story be set before the NEC incident? Also can the Tales story be expanded? It would also be appropriate to mention how the Trioculus affair concluded and hence the dissolution of SPIN. --Eyrezer 10:53, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Checked, moved, expanded, mentioned. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:14, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * The Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds mission to Kashyyyk needs to be expanded. --Eyrezer 04:10, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Buffed it some, but it's a pretty open-ended mission, if you've played it. There's a little cutscene with Lando talking at the beginning, then during some point in the battle, he shows up in the MF with Rogue Squadron. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Nomad City section: "He was wounded in the attack" - who was?
 * 7) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "The mole-miners, packed with boarding teams, had been ordered into a large number of New Republic ships" Ordered into? This is pretty unclear. I presume you are meaning they attacked the NR ships by drilling into them...
 * 9) **Yes. Clarified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Calrissian refused to believe that Solo and Skywalker would go on their mission without him, though, and coaxed the news from Solo that he might be able to arrange a deal for metals from Nkllon on New Cov if he stayed with him. Calrissian then reluctantly decided to join Solo and Skywalker." Can you clarify this bit?
 * 11) **Sure. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "aided Skywalker by translating for him" Do we know what language? If so, it could be added to the P&T section. (I'm not suggesting the language needs to be addded to this section itself.
 * 13) **It's Rodian. I added that to his Talents section when you made your initial language objection about the Baragwinian trade dialect. Did you want it in P&T also? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No that's fine. I checked the refs, but I must have been looking for the wrong source.
 * 15) * "In the race to reach the lost Dreadnaught fleet" This paragraph begins with there being a race, but it has not yet been established that the Empire is aware of the Katana fleet. Can you modify this a bit so that it flows better? Also, here, the mention of Mara Jade should build on her earlier mention on Myrkr.
 * 16) **Fixed up. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 16:38, 1 June 2009 (UTC)-->
 * 17) * I added a pic of Nomad City to the start of this section. I think another image from the comic adaption would be good, too. Perhaps one of lando in action on Myrkr. --Eyrezer 04:45, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Xicer9 added one. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "During the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine in 10 ABY," a better introduction to this section, please. --Eyrezer 08:42, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Rephrased.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:57, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***I expanded it more to what I had in mind. --Eyrezer 03:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **Negative. That part referenced below is the Evolutions segment, not actual SOTE. The SOTE segment is where it is because of NEC, which places the events of SOTE right after the Battle of the City of Bone in Marvel 69. If anything, I'll need to move the Trouble on Stenos section to before SOTE, but I want to check a few more sources before I do so. NEC also places the events of SOTE before the events of "Finding Argo and Vanis." As unfortunate as that may be for your TFN poster, we're going to have to assume that, in the same line as the Tydirium nonsense, Luke had more than one "new" lightsaber. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 04:57, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***So according to NEC, its:
 * 3) ****Star Wars 69: Death in the City of Bone (The Business on Bazarre section)
 * 4) ****Shadows of the Empire (Encounter with Black Sun)
 * 5) ****Star Wars 71: Return to Stenos (Finding Argo and Vanis)
 * 6) ****Leaving it unclear only whether Star Wars 70: The Stenax Shuffle (Trouble on Stenos) goes before or after SOTE? --Eyrezer 05:46, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *****Yep, that's pretty much it. Let me do some more research and get back to you. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:23, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) ******Star Wars 70, 71 take place before SOTE, according to NEGTC. It's Marvel 73 that's the Argo and Vanis bit, which I'm saying is where the Marvels pick up after SOTE. The presence of Dani makes it sort of interesting, but I guess she was hanging out while Lando and Co. did SOTE&mdash;canon explicitly gives the timeline for the Stenos and Argo and Vanis stuff, and SOTE is between them. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:44, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *******Ok. Seeing as it is a combination of using NEGTC and NEC that determines exactly where SOTE falls in the Marvel line, please add a footnote to this effect. --Eyrezer 05:38, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ********Ref'd in several places explaining the arrangement. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:42, 13 June 2009 (UTC)-->
 * 11) *Empire Reborn section: "However, Skywalker was unwilling to leave the planet." Can you add why this was?
 * 12) *"Calrissian then informed the New Republic leaders about a cargo of large X-1 Viper war droids" This paragraph could do with some expansion and context. Firstly, what is the connection between this scene and the end of DEI? It doesn't seem to be immediately after Mon Cal, so a sentence about the overall war would place it in context. Secondly, does Calrissian suggest infiltrating the Vipers? Explain why they want to attack Byss, etc.
 * 13) *The next paragraph also needs more context than "later". Perhaps explain a bit about what the Eclipse II was. Also what the Galaxy Gun was. At the moment this paragraph is far too bare bones.
 * 14) *Kessel investment: wasn't Lando bored, which is why he helped Luke's search? --Eyrezer 00:40, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **I clarified it&mdash;he wasn't so much bored as he was out of work. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:53, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Toprawa:
 * 17) *I realize I promised you the ESB RD script notes, but until that time, here's the objection for their missing info.
 * 18) *Also, you're missing info from the ROTJ radio drama/script.
 * 19) **Can you be a little more specific about which parts? I gave it a listen when Hydro made his initial ESB objection, and while I don't have the script, I did add info from the radio drama. Was there something in particular you were looking for? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 22:32, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Sure. I'm in the process of listening to it now for my article purposes, so I might add to this, but two things that strike me as pertinent are the scene in which he first approaches Leia in Jabba's palace to reveal himself, meaning that not everyone in the Save Han group knew how he had gotten in and where he was; and secondly the scene in which they first leave Tatooine, they're forced escape past an Imperial blockade. Lando just sits in the Falcon ' s cockpit and doesn't do anything but talk, but a mention would be appropriate, I feel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:35, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***While en route to the Rebel fleet from Tatooine, Lando and the group help sooth Threepio's hurt feelings about not being privy to the specifics of the rescue Han plan. They talk about Corellian Overdrive, and Lando goes on to fix Threepio's damaged photoreceptor. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:46, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***There's actually a lot more to that scene. Han and Lando talk about how the Falcon was in Lando's possession during Han's carbonite days, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ****ROTJ radio drama has been located, listened to, and the article updated appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:54, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *Including "TCG: Return of the Jedi" and "The Empire Strikes Back (TCG)" in the Source list just isn't good enough, I'm afraid. Moreover, I see only a single CCG card in that entire Source list, which tells me you haven't really scoured these cards for new information. You'd be surprised to find some new tidbits here and there. I realize there are probably dozens upon dozens of cards with Lando info on them, but if you're going to include one, you need to include them all. Yes, I know it sucks, and it's hard work, but this is an FA. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:20, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **"if you're going to include one, you need to include them all." Does this mean I just get away with removing that one? :-P ^_^ (lol, jk). No, in all seriousness, you're absolutely right. I've done all the CCG cards, and I'll let you know when I get the radio stuff and TCG ones added in. I'm going to be kind of busy until the end of the week due to RL though. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:40, 24 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***5 and a half dozen TCG and CCG cards added to source list? Is that better? Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 18:01, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) QuiGon:
 * 28) * No info from The Gambler's Quest.
 * 29) **I've added a short paragraph myself based on what was written in the plot summary for this comic. I think it's sufficient. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 15:57, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * Some things are missing in the appearances list. Mighty Chronicles adaptations, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back Mobile, Super Star Wars series, etc. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...Quigonheadshot.jpg 17:54, 25 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **Took care of it myself per Ataru's request. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 16:43, 8 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * More missing info from N.R.I. Reports. Small tidbits about Lando requesting aid from the Senate. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 19:30, 12 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) **Added. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:58, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Are you sure that the "Black Sun coup" section should go between the Marvel stories? It would make much more sense to place it after the Nagai-Tof war. All Marvel stories are linked to each other pretty tight and there is no gap in the plot for SotE: Evolution to take place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 20:53, 14 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **After some research, I've seen no reason to leave the layout as is, and the Black Sun coup is now placed after the Marvel sections. Seems to make more sense that way. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 23 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "The Mindharp of Sharu" section. Context on Jabba.
 * 37) * Also, context needed on Darth Vader and Luke upon first mentions in the "Trap at Cloud City"" section.
 * 38) * Explain what was so important in Luke that Vader set a trap for him.
 * 39) * Same section."Especially after the disappearance of C-3PO" Provide some context on what really happened to him. Then mention somewhere in this section that 3PO was recovered, because as it is now, it left me under the impression that the droid was still missing when Lando and the others left Bespin.
 * 40) * Same section again. "in pursuit of the Millennium Falcon and its Rebel crew". Mention that it was Han who has joined the Rebels, because it can be interpreted as if some unknown Rebels have acquired the ship.
 * 41) * Mention that Lando flirted with Leia and/or add it to the relationships.
 * 42) **All of QuiGon's objections up through this have been fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * The "Skywalker's affliction" section. Context on Domina Tagge.
 * 44) * Same section. "which Darth Vader had falsely accused Luke of being responsible for". Rephrase. Yes, Vader did falsely accuse Luke the first time, but then Skywalker killed Tagge for real in issue 37, even if he did it by accident.
 * 45) * "Finding Argo and Vanis" section. Last sentence: "but were apparently unable to find anything." Unsourced.
 * 46) * Same section. Context on the second Death Star.
 * 47) * Linking problems. Jabba is linked in both "The Mindharp of Sharu" and "Mission to Blimph 3" sections, while the second Death Star is not linked at all upon the first mention in "Finding Argo and Vanis", but is instead linked in "The Battle of Endor"; and the link is that of the Death Star in general instead of Death Star II. Check other links.
 * 48) * "Near-death experience on Godo". Context on Bey.
 * 49) * Mention that Lumiya changed sides and allied herself with Tofs. And that she was shot on Saijo.
 * 50) **All of these should be fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:31, 20 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * Stay tuned. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 21:01, 30 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Nomad City". Context on Ecclessis Figg, ysalamiri. Also, why Thrawn needed the ysalamiri?
 * 53) * "Karrde hid the two former generals" Next sentence:"As such, the two former generals". Repetitive, rephrase.
 * 54) * "Karrde knew that was where Skywalker, who had escaped from his custody, and his pursuer, a woman named Mara Jade, would flee to, and that the Empire would find them and realize that Karrde had not turned over Skywalker to them." Maybe it's just me, but this sentence seems weird.
 * 55) **I've finally understood what this sentence says and I think I had some difficulty with it because of the missing "that". I've added it myself.
 * 56) * "After trekking through kilometers of forest, fending off predators, the party received when some Noghri commandos". Received what?
 * 57) **Everything from "Nomad City" down to here has been fixed. Although, Figg was already contextified. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 01:08, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***I'm sorry, but I haven't seen any context. You didn't say who Figg was. I've added it myself, just to show you what I wanted in the first place. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:45, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) ****I figured that saying that Figg was the one who first built Cloud City was sufficient context, but I have no problems with your change. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:56, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * "Palpatine reborn": "Unbeknownst to Calrissian, Skywalker had fallen to the dark side of the Force, and was in fact commanding the Imperial fleet". Mention that prior to that, he gave the codes to Artoo.
 * 61) * Same section. Mention that Skywalker was redeemed after all.
 * 62) **I think Chack fixed these a couple days ago when he reworked that section. :-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 21:37, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * "Run-in with the Imperial Remnant" Context on Reelo Baruk.
 * 64) * After the events of Jedi Outcast that happened in 12 ABY you mention the events of Planet of Twilight as happening the same year, yet the latter is placed here on Wook in 13 ABY. I don't know if it is really a mistake, because I haven't read the book.
 * 65) * "Tag and Bink". Context on Tag.
 * 66) **Last three fixed. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:52, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *I guess that's all. QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 11:57, 31 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * One more thing. Is there nothing to add from Ord Vaxal: Prison Planet of the Empire? QuiGonJinn There's always a bigger fish. 14:19, 8 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) **According to Jaymach via IRC, he's only pictured in it. I've tagged the source appropriately. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:32, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) From Ataru
 * 71) **I'm aware that there are redlink problems and image arrangements. I will fix those once Eyre's and Hydro's objections regarding content are satisfied. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 17:47, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not a formal objection, but there's space for a lot more quotes in the article. Yrfeloran 04:13, 23 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Who portrayed Lando in Dark Forces: Soldier for the Empire audio drama? Mauser 13:48, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm voting for it!!!!!!!!
 * Will give a full Outcast update as soon as I can. I'll busy through the weekend and Monday, though, but next week, I hope to get that and some more of the sourcebooks done. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 20:06, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Brianna

 * Nominated by: 01:42, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: As recommended, trying for FA after GA success.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 06:52, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 22:48, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 05:02, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Looks good to me.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:32, 1 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  OLIOSTER  Sith_Emblem.svg 00:53, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:38, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) –Victor  Sienar.svg (talk page ) 03:37, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Looks good -  Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 18:08, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Preliminaries for that promised review:
 * 2) * A fair lot of the sections need to be further divided up. "Playing as a male Exile" in particular is one of the most exhaustively long sections I've ever seen.
 * 3) **Hopefully accomplished.
 * 4) ***"Early life" and "Travels with the Exile" should probably have subsections. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:58, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * "Travels with the Exile" deserves a quote, preferably something about the Exile from Brianna's own dialog.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * The "Masters" field of the infobox could be filled out a little more expansively and creatively.
 * 9) **Done
 * 10) ***Remember to list chronologically. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:58, 11 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * File:Lasthandmaiden.jpg is a pretty terrible image and could use a recapture.
 * 12) * Another image could probably be snagged to be fit into the BtS section; while something appropriate to the subject matter is preferable, general Brianna pictures shouldn't be any trouble, either.
 * 13) * Linking really needs to be gone over. Have pipelinking in mind (the missions, for example). Also, in particular I noticed some glaring omissions in the links for the BtS.
 * 14) **I believe this has been handled.
 * 15) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:14, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 17) * Please check the Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia for information.
 * 18) **According to Doluk, who has the CSWE, this is the entirety of Brianna's article, and the info has already been incorporated in the article: "An Echani Handmaiden who served the Jedi Knight Atris almost 4,000 years before the Battle of Yavin. She was the daughter of politician Yusanis and Jedi Master Arren Kae, veterans of the Mandalorian Wars. Brianna was born with evidence of her parents' infidelity and bore the stigma of this indiscretion. Brianna stole the freighter Ebon Hawk from Telos IV."
 * 19) ***At least put it in the source list. Why not source something to it, also, for good measure? Graestan ( Talk ) 03:03, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Done.
 * 21) * Please arrange the source list by publication date.
 * 22) **Check.
 * 23) * Reference tags number three and six appear to be identical. Please merge them.
 * 24) **Check.
 * 25) * "Brianna was the daughter of a forbidden love affair" – Agreement issues. Please rephrase. Also, "affair" is used a bit repetitively.
 * 26) **Check.
 * 27) * Please explain Kae's exile. How? From what?
 * 28) **Check.
 * 29) * The tense gets all wonky after this. Lose all the "woulds" and get back to normal, narrative past tense.
 * 30) **Check.
 * 31) * Mandalorian Wars needs context.
 * 32) **Done.
 * 33) * "the responsibilities of his other five daughters and Brianna" – Somewhat vague. Please be more explicit.
 * 34) **Done.
 * 35) * "The two" sounds odd after you speak of three people in the previous sentence.
 * 36) **Done.
 * 37) * The Echani probably need some context. When you speak of Revan destabilizing them, it sounds odd, as they are presented simply, as if only a species, before this.
 * 38) **Done.
 * 39) * Revan needs to be set up as the DLotS before referring to him offhand as such.
 * 40) **Done.
 * 41) * "brought under service to" – Please clean up the syntax.
 * 42) **Done.
 * 43) ***I fixed the new "were entered the service of." Graestan ( Talk ) 03:03, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * "Masters of the Jedi Civil War" – This is somewhat confusing. Please be more specific.
 * 45) **Done.
 * 46) * Mentioning Brianna's ignorance of her own Force sensitivity during her time with Atris would be helpful.
 * 47) **Done.
 * 48) * Okay, was Yusanis married when he had the fling with Kae? You don't mention it, but go on to talk about his infidelity later.
 * 49) **Check.
 * 50) * I'm going to stop right here. I haven't even looked at the intro. Please take everything I've said here, and go back through the article vigorously, applying all the sorts of things I've pointed out. I'll resume the review once the previous objections have been rectified. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:18, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) Graestan's Unlimited Mercilessness: I wasn't kidding about the statement in the last round. I tried to keep going through, and came up with like five context and other content-related objections in a couple of sentences. Please, please go through the rest of the article; the types of things I'm going to object to are the ones I already have.  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:15, 21 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) Cylka:
 * 53) * More context is needed regarding her parents Yusanis and Arren Kae. Avoid mentioning Kreia this early because it will be somewhat difficult to give her context at this point.
 * 54) * More context is needed on Atris when she is introduced. Who was she, why was she there, and so on.
 * 55) * Same for the Telosian Jedi Academy when it is first introduced. You need to add in why it was built, what was stored there, etc.
 * 56) * More context on the destruction of Peragus and how the Exile and the Ebon Hawk were involved. Also explain why the ship was impounded and the companions detained by TSF.
 * 57) * More context on who the Exile when she is first introduced.
 * 58) * A bit of context as to how they tracked the Hawk to the hidden Academy and make sure to mention all of the companions.
 * 59) * The Exile agreed to Kreia's request so as to avoid a conflict - this needs more context. It is a bit arbitrary as it stands now. Cylka  -talk- 23:26, 7 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) **Have dealt with the objections up to here so far.
 * 61) * Brianna and the Exile have a long conversation with each other in the Academy. This should be explained in greater detail.
 * 62) **Addressed.
 * 63) * More context is needed on the mission to find the Jedi Masters. Why were they on that mission in the first place and why was it important.
 * 64) **Also addressed.
 * 65) * A bit more information is needed on Atris's fall to the dark side.
 * 66) **Done.
 * 67) * Some more context is needed to the final battle at Malachor V. Cylka  -talk- 10:20, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) **Also done.
 * 69) * The paragraphs in the P&A are a bit short. Either try flesh them out a bit, or maybe combine them.
 * 70) **Done.
 * 71) * In the first part of the Bts, the paragraphs are too short. Combining them would probably be a good idea.
 * 72) **Done.
 * 73) * The playing as a male exile section is too long and much of the information is redundant. Instead of repeating the same information that is in the body, maybe just a paragraph or two explaining the differences will suffice. A lot of the information in this section can be integrated into the main body since we know that Brianna traveling with the Exile is canon. It seems to me that only the romance needs to stay in the Bts.
 * 74) **Addressed.
 * 75) * The romance with a male Exile needs to be expanded a bit more. You should include her jealous interactions with Visas Marr.
 * 76) **Done.
 * 77) * Brianna also had a Handmaiden's staff. You should try to fit that in somewhere.
 * 78) **Done.
 * 79) *The article is well on it's way. It just has a bit too little information in some areas, and a bit too much redundancy in others. But it's looking good! Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 20:08, 6 February 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) Four Dot:
 * 81) * "Brianna eventually received Jedi training from the Exile and become known as one of the Lost Jedi, resulting in a forced fight between Brianna, her sisters and former master." - Forced fight? This is confusing. Perhaps this should be elaborated upon in the intro, which would beef it up and allow it to be split into two paragraphs.
 * 82) **I elaborated a bit to make the info a bit more clear, but I don't think it's quite enough for two paragraphs.
 * 83) ***I split it myself, but if you don't like how it looks, feel free to switch it back. And that reads much better now. Thefourdotelipsis 06:57, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) ***It looks fine to me, I just wasn't sure if that was what you were looking for.
 * 85) * "The offspring of Echani parents were perceived as being identical in appearance to anyone who was not of the Echani, presumably favoring the physical characteristics of their parent of the same sex. Because of this Brianna looked different from the other handmaidens, taking the genetic characteristics of her Jedi mother." - This seems like a bit of a given to me, and can perhaps be stated more economically.
 * 86) **Ok, hopefully this is a bit better.
 * 87) ***I understand the significance better now. Good. Thefourdotelipsis 02:56, 19 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * There are times where it feels as though you are straying away from Brianna's story to tell the story of The Sith Lords. This is obviously necessary, but it generally feels like you are telling the Exile's story at these points, and Brianna's story is momentarily abandoned. You should probably take a look at these segments and try and tweak them more towards Brianna's perspective. Thefourdotelipsis 03:42, 17 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) **I tweaked it a little bit, but since I'm not sure which segments you meant specifically, feel free to point them out if I missed them.
 * 90) ***I think you've fixed the major one. Looking back, the other bits that gave me pause are probably going to have to stay that way. Thefourdotelipsis 22:48, 21 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) From the Pasta Bowl of Fiolli&hellip;
 * 92) * "Atris hoped to revive the Jedi Order after most of the other Jedi had been killed by the Sith on Katarr&hellip;" The conclave needs context. It was not part of the Jedi Civil War and that is what ends the sentence and paragraph prior.
 * 93) **I a bit of detail on this.
 * 94) * "Brianna confessed that she was the only one of her sisters who did not doubt the Exile's battle prowess and that she was often distracted by the Jedi teachings Atris had rescued and stored at the academy." This sentence does not make sense. Please clarify.
 * 95) **Clarified.
 * 96) * "&hellip;and was seemingly satisfied by the answers both the Exile and Kreia provided." The word 'seemingly' is speculative and OR unless that word or a direct synonym is stated in canon. Drawing this conclusion from some of the cutscenes in the game are tenuous at best.
 * 97) **Removed.
 * 98) * "After the duel, Brianna pledged undying allegiance to the Exile, renouncing her title of Last of the Handmaidens, and embracing her true name." This is a great sentence and plot point, but it has no context earlier in the article. Something about Brianna's identity crisis should be mentioned earler.
 * 99) **Added an earlier mention.
 * 100) * "Traya had also manipulated the Sith into attacking Citadel Station." What does this sentence have to do with Brianna? It makes no sense in a paragraph about Malachor.
 * 101) **This sentence was just out of place I think.
 * 102) * "Brianna aided the Exile and the Telos Security Force in fending off the Sith assault on Citadel Station before joining the Exile in pursuit of Traya to Malachor V." This sentence shifts the focus too far away from Malachor. Please shuffle this paragraph to keep a more better flow.
 * 103) **Hopefully this is a bit better.
 * 104) *** I think I know what you were trying to do, but now the middle part does not make sense to me. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:34, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) ****I shifted things around a little. 02:37, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) * Is there no unique information from the Campaign Guide?
 * 107) **I don't think there is any particularly noteworthy info from the Guide, but if anyone who actually has it can prove me wrong, I'd be glad to make the additions.
 * 108) *** I do not have it handy, but I would be surprised if there is nothing new in it. See if anyone on IRC has it around. I will try to dig it up in the coming days, too, but please see what others say. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 17:34, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 109) ****I see that it has been added by other Inqs. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:38, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 110) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:22, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 111) Darth Trayus
 * 112) * For all the information presented in the body of the article, the introduction is astoundingly short. Expand a bit.
 * 113) **Expanded. 18:10, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 114) * Nowhere in the article does it say where the Jedi Masters were found, only where they were gathered. Include mentions of Nar Shadaa, Korriban, Onderon, and the fact that Vrook was already on Dantooine.
 * 115) **Mentioned. 18:10, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 116) * Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:15, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 117) Eyrezer:


 * 1) *"During this time, Kreia sent a message to Atris through the Force" What is the connection between Kreia and Atris?
 * 2) **The game never specifies a connection between the two, Kreia just suddenly sends a telepathic message. 05:45, 11 June 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) *"There, the Exile had lost her connection to the Force" When did this happen?
 * 2) **I mention in the preceding sentence that it happened during the last battle of the Mandalorian Wars. 05:45, 11 June 2009 (UTC)--Eyrezer 08:23, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***"The Exile had learned from Atris that the Sith had gone to a secret academy on Malachor V". Is 'the Sith' referring to Traya in this sentence?


 * 1) *"If Brianna joins the Exile and then falls to the dark side" Can you make it clearer in the Bts when and why Brianna might go to the dark side? Does it depend on the player going to the dark side? If so, it might be appropriate to have a subsection for the Dark side ending, similar to Alternative storyline section in the Jedi Exile's article. --Eyrezer 08:23, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 3) *Is there something you can link to for her final "confrontation" in the intro?
 * 4) **Since the duel articles are pretty much gone, the closest thing I could probably link to would be the Battle of Telos IV, if that's the sort of thing you're looking for.
 * 5) *"Yusanis, a master combatant of the Republic world of Echani, was married to another woman to whom he had five daughters, while Kae, as a member of the Jedi Order was forbidden to form strong attachments; despite these restrictions, the couple began a secret relationship, risking their status by continuing to meet." Run-on.
 * 6) **Fixed.
 * 7) *AFAIK, Echani is not a planet. Please rectify or point the link to the proper destination. You also later refer to it as a planet in the context of Revan's conquest.
 * 8) **The Echani homeworld is listed as Eshan in the article, but the article is a redlink and lacks a source, so I'm unsure as the its validity, but I'll use it for now.
 * 9) ***It has since been confirmed to be unreliable, and the article now refers to the Echani Homeworld instead.
 * 10) *"was holding suspects who had recently arrived in the system" Suspects of what?
 * 11) **Clarified.
 * 12) *"Atris was unaware that the new owner of the ship was a former friend" Friend of Atris, or Brianna?
 * 13) **Clarified.
 * 14) *"a former–Sith assassin" misused dash, methinks. Please clean this up a bit.
 * 15) **Dash removed.
 * 16) *"With her acceptance" Unclear antecedent.
 * 17) **Fixed. 20:58, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *"her interest in these artifacts eventually led to her taking the position of Jedi historian" This is only a prediction. Please clarify that.
 * 19) **Clarified. 20:58, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *"Brianna tended to view things in terms of black and white, and argued with the Exile over some of her decisions" Clarify, expound, and possibly move this sentence to another paragraph. It doesn't fit well in its current location.
 * 21) *" without any visible issues" reword.
 * 22) *"As with a female Exile, at some point the Exile asked Brianna to teach her Echani fighting techniques," Uh . . . this doesn't happen in-game with a female Exile. Add a ref or remove the bit about "As with a . . ." because it's quite obvious to me that this isn't possible with a female exile.
 * 23) *I agree with 4dot that more pictures wouldn't be amiss, but I'll refrain from making an actual objection about it. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 19:42, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just a suggestion: Surely more images can be found for illustration purposes. Screenshots from the game will suffice. Thefourdotelipsis 03:42, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1)  I'm calling this one derailed.  Graestan ( Talk ) 22:42, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I'm back after an admittedly lengthy absence and started working on the article again yesterday. Just letting you know! 22:11, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

Keep nomination
 * 1) At least for the time being. I think it can be salvaged. Fair warning to the nominator, though: I'll be easily swayed if nothing is done. Thefourdotelipsis 06:34, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

Celeste Morne
"M'lady, it's time. Shall we?''" "''We shall."
 * Nominated by:A joint production by —Tommy  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Nine two eight one ) and <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:53, 26 February 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

- Tommy and Cylka, solidifying their partnership

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1) SingAurraSing
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 22:21, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  12:08, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) How could you not vote for the chick that's about 4,000 freaking years, and still manages to look hot? Joking aside, it's a solid article. Good job, Lord Anvil and Lady Cylka.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:37, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Oh look, that butterfly is back. Kilson Likes PIE 04:02, 27 June 09 (UTC)
 * 6)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:55, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * "After receiving the message concerning a secret Imperial weapon abandoned on a moon, Vader's children, Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia Organa, led a team of Rebels to investigate." - You don't really need to call them Vader's children. It just makes things more confusing for a newcomer. Instead, describe them as Rebel agents, or something. Otherwise, very nice. Thefourdotelipsis 05:09, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Addressed. Thank you for the review, Fourdot. Please advise if anything else is required. —Tommy Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( Nine two eight one ) 12:22, 18 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 2) * I really wouldn't bother stating which people aside from Zayne were in the Covenant's vision&mdash;that can be revealed later. Just give descriptions, make it more from their perspective.
 * 3) **Addressed by Cylka. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *The asides about what Morne thinks of Carrick need to be dropped from the bio; detail about the events is fine, but if you're going to sum up Morne's thoughts it should go in the P&T.
 * 5) **I believe this too was addressed by Cylka. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 01:50, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * No need to list all the people on the Williwaw, really.
 * 7) **Addressed by Cylka. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "&hellip;and passed by blood and trade through many hands until, by twist of fate, it came into the possession&hellip;" – I'd just replace this with more specific and less fancy wording; as it stands it almost sounds as though there are many stories to be told but you have chosen not to.
 * 9) **Addressed by —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "with the Muur Talisman still attached to her neck and the presence of the spirit of Karness Muur" – This is pretty awkward. Be more specific, say what the spirit is doing or something, please.
 * 11) **Addressed by —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * You can't call Luke and Leia twins offhand without establishing it, and I don't feel it appropriate to establish it in this article where it's in no way relevant.
 * 13) **Addressed by Cylka. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:12, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *More later. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:45, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) One thing: "convinced Morne and Carrick to pretend to be his in order" to be his what? Slaves?
 * 16) *Should be good now. Thanks for the review, Chack. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:00, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *Aside from this, great work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:16, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) A question since I can't remember: "...which could transform non-Force-sensitive beings into mindless mutants known as rakghouls" was it only non-Force-sensitives who would be transformed into rakghouls, since in the Legacy arc, Cade and Alzyn are bitten and begin to transform?  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:49, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *The Talisman only worked on non Force-sensitives, while the bite worked on anyone. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 16:12, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) My review of the first half of the article
 * 21) * You should point out in the intro that the talisman allowed her to live for hundreds of years.
 * 22) **Done
 * 23) * "Morne transformed the Rebels into rakghouls and attacked Skywalker and Organa," The sentance makes it sound as if all the rebels transformed into rakghouls.
 * 24) **Addressed.
 * 25) * Could you create a page for "Muur Talisman vision"?
 * 26) **We are not in violation of policy by having a redlink within the body of the article. We will get to it in due time. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 05:22, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * You might want to mention in the Taris subsection that Taris was under seige because of the Mandalorian Wars.
 * 28) **Addressed
 * 29) * "Several of the Uhumele's crew managed to escape." Other than Crys, didn't everyone else escape?
 * 30) **Done
 * 31) *I'll do my review of the article's second half after these are addressed, nice job so far. Kilson Likes PIE 01:35, 25 June 09 (UTC)
 * 32) **Thanks for the review, Kilson. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 20:02, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) Kilson review part 2
 * 34) * Like I said about the intro, you need to mention in the One Hundred Years Later section that the talisman allowed her to survive so long.
 * 35) **That is already stated in the first sentence of the last paragraph in the "Galactic Civil War" section. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:55, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * In the last paragraph of the Had Abbadon subsection, could you give a little more context on Morne's healing abilities.
 * 37) **Addressed.
 * 38) *Other than that, nice job. Kilson Likes PIE 02:37, 26 June 09 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thank you for the review, Kilson. Please advise if anything further is required of us. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:55, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) Grunny again:
 * 41) * "Their deception was discovered by Jedi Master Feln, and contacting Lucien Draay, the two did not believe that Morne would betray the Covenant" This could be worded clearer. The current structure could read that "Their" and "the two" refer to the same people.
 * 42) **Should be good now. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:27, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *I've finished reading the bio and will read the rest tomorrow :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:44, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Valin Draco

 * Nominated by:Jinzler 00:05, 7 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:My first FA nom

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 22:40, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 21:48, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 20:16, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Eyrezer:
 * 2) * "a plan to infiltrate Admiral Gilder Varth into the Alderaanian Resistance and the Sarlacc Project, the construction of a Super Star Destroyer prototype." It sounds as though Varth infiltrated both the resistance, and the Project. Can you re-wrod this? --Eyrezer 02:50, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done --Jinzler 10:11, 14 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * " In the fight that followed, they almost killed each other." This and the following sentence sounds a bit awkward. Can you reword it? --Eyrezer 09:13, 15 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done --Jinzler 20:33, 15 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Four Dot:
 * 7) * "He became involved in various secret plots including a plan to infiltrate Admiral Gilder Varth into the Alderaanian Resistance, a resistance group based on Alderaan, to find evidence that Senator Bail Organa had betrayed the Empire and was secretly leading it." - Leading the Empire? I don't think so. :P You should reword this.
 * 8) **He would have been a better leader of it than Palpatine. I have rewrote this --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * "and acquiring a Star Courier, the Scimitar—the former personal ship of the Sith Lord Darth Maul—although it is unknown if it was the same craft or not." - Well, if it's a Star Courier called Scimitar, it is the same ship, at least for our intents and purposes. You don't need to add the qualifier.
 * 10) **I have removed the stuff about it being the Scimitar. I don't know who added this, as I'm pretty sure that Starships of the Galaxy just says that it may or may not be the Scimitar --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * "She had traveled to Coruscant when she learned of Order 66, to confront those responsible for destroying the Jedi Order and so preventing her from having revenge against them." - This doesn't make a lot of sense.
 * 12) **Hopefully, it does now --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * You should make some mention of the Empire's rise in the Republic's stead.
 * 14) **Added --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "The Alderaanian Resistance sent a team to free Varth[4] and Draco had ensured that they were easily able to do so, by limiting the number of Imperial troops, under the guise of keeping the facility secret." - This doesn't read well.
 * 16) **Rewrote --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "While the Legacy Era Campaign Guide does not explicitly state the familial bond, it is strongly implied in the entry for Antares Draco; it is noted that an ancestor of Antares was a member of the Inquisitorius under Emperor Palpatine." - If that's the case, why is the Legacy Era Campaign guide listed as a source? Thefourdotelipsis 02:24, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Removed. It's a shame we don't have a "possible mention" template, as we have a one --Jinzler 22:09, 27 April 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Attack of the Clone
 * 20) * The first sentence of the intro is a bit confusing; it sounds like you're trying to say that he served as a Knight during the Clone Wars, but it's not coming off as completely clear.
 * 21) **Clarified --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * What exactly did Draco learn from the holocron? If there are too many things to list, it can be stated as something general.
 * 23) **Added --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Prakith needs a bit of context, as does Byss.
 * 25) **Added --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * When you say that Draco "fully embraced his role as a commander", I think it can be linked to Jedi Commander instead of commander. However, I wasn't completely sure of this, so please change it yourself if you see fit.
 * 27) **Changed --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Parein II 4 needs context.
 * 29) **Added --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * "she was prevented from her from having revenge against them": the "from her" is confusing; please check this.
 * 31) **Oops... I have now fixed this --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * Coruscant needs context.
 * 33) **Added --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Draco conspired with Admiral Gilder Varth of the Imperial Navy to infiltrate Varth into the Alderaanian Resistance": it sounds like it's supposed to mean "Draco conspired with Varth to infiltrate the Resistance with him," but please clarify.
 * 35) **Clarified --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Felucia and Cato Nemoidia need context.
 * 37) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "and wanted to trade her in return for the Inquisitor ensuring that Darga never returned to Cato Neimoidia." The sentence needs to be reworded so that a noun replaces "ensuring", as it is grammatically awkward right now.
 * 39) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "Draco agreed, and said that he would travel there straight away, with the Assiduous": rather awkward phrasing; if possible, please remove "straight away" and change "with the Assiduous", as the latter is not grammatically correct.
 * 41) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * "but he threatened Demos that he would not be gentle with him if he had been summoned on a fool's errand": it looks like "gentle with him" is quoted directly from the source, but please try to reword it if possible.
 * 43) **Rephrased --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Bespin needs context, and so does Almas&mdash;yes, it is stated what system it is in, but for all the reader knows, it could be a planet, an asteroid, a city (possibly), etc.
 * 45) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * That the Almas Academy was a Jedi Academy is currently exclusive to the intro.
 * 47) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * Utapau needs context.
 * 49) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * "Afterward, he headed for Almas." The use of "afterward" is rather choppy. The same is the case in the start of the first sentence of another paragraph "Afterward, Draco took Rivan’s holocron..." (Also, I changed it from "afterwards", since the word is slang.)
 * 51) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "who had ruled on Almas" sounds like he ruled something on Almas, but not the entire planet. If this is the case, please make it clearer, and if it's not, please reword it.
 * 53) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * "Jedi Master Vhiin Thorla had arrived there": it's unclear exactly when Thorla arrives; please clarify by either adding "already" (if that's the case) or rewording it.
 * 55) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Under the influence of the gatekeeper, he left various traps and creatures around the academy to discourage intruders." It's unclear who "he" is; it sounds like it likely means Draco, but it could also mean Rivan in this case.
 * 57) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * "and while seeming familiar, also seemed not to be right": rather awkward phrasing; please reword.
 * 59) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * "illusionary" is not a word; please change.
 * 61) **Changed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "keeping strapped to his wrist from then on": it needs to be stated as to which holocron he strapped to his wrist; it could mean either one right now.
 * 63) **I disagree, as this is part of a sentence regarding his discovery of the Qornah holocron and clearly refers to that --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * "Draco became desperate due to the fact that the loss of the holocron had weakened his power." For this sentence to work, Draco needs to be desperate for something, i.e. to accomplish an action; it doesn't work otherwise.
 * 65) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Nizon needs context.
 * 67) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) * "and planned to transport her off it" is not very clear; please check this and reword.
 * 69) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***Please check this again. If you can, try to say where he planned to transport her instead of saying he planned to "transport her off it." If it's unknown, please reword.
 * 71) ****Sorry, I must have missed this. I have rephrased it --Jinzler 21:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 72) * Prakith needs context as to what kind of location it is.
 * 73) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) * "he had still not broken her": reads rather awkwardly. Do you mean broken her will or her mind, or what?
 * 75) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * "he seemed unbeatable in open combat": is it stated why he appeared this way?
 * 77) **No, this is just info from a plot sumarisation of Sword of the Empire, so will probably be expanded upon when that is released --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) * "Denia sacrificed herself to weaken him": is it known in what way she did this?
 * 79) **No, for the same reason as above --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) * "he believed in the Republic and what he was fighting for": well, what was he fighting for?
 * 81) **Added --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) *** It's still a bit awkward; if you're going to mention that he believed in the Republic's ideals, you might as well state what the ideals were, which in this case is unnecessary. Perhaps saying he "sided with the Republic" would work better. You might also want to consider removing this altogether, unless you can state specifically why he lost hope. Did he turn to the dark side out of agony? If he did, please try to make it clearer.
 * 83) ****I have tried to rephrase it the best I can, but I can't say specifically why he lost hope, because the source is pretty vague. However, I don't think it should be removed, as this still represents a key change in his personality, that is worthy of mention in P & T --Jinzler 21:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) * "However, as the conflict drew on, he increasingly lost hope in it, and eventually completely abandoned his belief in it after the Battle of Parein II 4." Reworded this myself a bit, but it's unclear as to what "it" is both times it is used.
 * 85) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) * "Draco was capable of caring": well, technically anyone in the world is "capable of caring." Please reword.
 * 87) **Fixed --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 88) * "If they are captured or incapacitated by Draco’s Noghri commandos": who is "they"?
 * 89) **Clarified --Jinzler 21:36, 3 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * CC7567  (talk) 07:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) * Last one: "but he threatened Demos that he would not be pleased with him with him if he failed to hand over Denia." It doesn't sound like a real threat; unless his displeasure had a real major significance, please reword this. Also, please check some of the remaining objections above. Other than that, it looks fine.  CC7567  (talk) 00:49, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) **Threat is inferred by his displeasure, but the source doesn't state anything specific that Draco planned to do if he was displeased, so I'm not sure if I can do anything about this --Jinzler 21:21, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) The Anvil:
 * 94) * I don't think the tag is necessary since we only usually use those for folks with the same first name.
 * 95) * "As he lay injured, he was attacked by a night hunter." What's a night hunter?
 * 96) **Added --Jinzler 17:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) * "Accompanying him were three other Inquisitors who had been sent to help him, although they were unhappy about being pulled from their duties and placed under his command." Do we know who these three are?
 * 98) **Unfortuantely, their names are not revealed --Jinzler 17:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) ***Cool with me. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 20:16, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) *Otherwise, good job. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:31, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) **Thank you for taking time to review it --Jinzler 17:15, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * CC7567, I will try to fix the rest of your objections in a few days time, as I have got to go to work now --Jinzler 09:15, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * That's fine; take your time. I know that I can be a real pain in the behind. :P  CC7567  (talk) 18:45, 2 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Sword of the Empire has now been released, so I will add information from that some when soon --Jinzler 22:36, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Added --Jinzler 22:12, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Mungo Baobab

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 23:10, 23 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: But she told me she was eighteen!

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 08:27, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) "One of these days, you're going to be knocked unconscious and wake up dead."  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 11:10, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Four Dot
 * 2) * "From Calrissian, Baobab acquired the nickname "the Wook," a reference to his long, unmanageable beard which Calrissian frequently encouraged him to have styled. After much resistance, Baobab finally agreed." - I kinda get what you mean (Baobab agreed to the nickname), but you could make it a tad clearer.
 * 3) **Actually, he agreed to have it styled. Clarified. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:10, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "Upon hearing that C-3PO had been captured during the attempted rescue of R2-D2, Baobab set off to find the droids while Fidge returned to the harem to rescue another astromech in case he was unsuccessful." - In case Fidge was unsuccessful?
 * 5) **In case Baobab was unsuccessful. Reworded. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:10, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *That's...actually all. Thefourdotelipsis 00:11, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Christophsis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Sorry for the continued uber-long battle noms. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:00, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 23:46, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:02, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:56, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I haven't exactly given this a review, I just read a little paragraph for reference after watching TCW, but I noticed that all you have on a part of the battle is "While Kenobi and Rex marshaled a defense of the base". I believe it could be expanded a bit to include how the clones retreated through sections all the way back to the cannons, Kenobi's orders to keep fighting, and that they had lost over half of their units during the attack. And also anything that I may have forgotten.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:50, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Expanded and reorganized.  CC7567  (talk) 18:05, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Skippy's individual objection:
 * 4) * I seem to remember a Flanker who died in Christophsis. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:51, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed. I don't feel a Bts note is important enough for an indirect mention, so he's only been added to the infobox.  CC7567  (talk) 07:56, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Four Dot
 * 7) * Too many images. You can cull quite a few, make it look a bit tidier.
 * 8) **I removed two; if more can be removed (with good placement), let me know. However, I'm trying to keep one per section, so that's why there's still a lot there. I removed the image of the Hunter with slight bias, because I felt it illustrated the space part of the battle; if it can be put back in there, I'd like it to be.
 * 9) * "The Jedi were accompanied by a faction of the Grand Army of the Republic, the clone army manufactured by the Republic to fight in the war." - I'm not sure that faction is the right word.
 * 10) **Does contingent work better?
 * 11) * "Skywalker and Kenobi were accompanied by a faction of the Grand Army of the Republic, the Republic's clone army manufactured to fight in the war." - Same here.
 * 12) **Is contingent better?
 * 13) * Too much in the infobox. You don't need to list every single identified clone trooper. Likewise, you don't need to specify the loss of Flanker in the casualties section. Similarly, you don't need to list each individual Jedi. Just say that there were 4 Jedi. Same goes for individual starfighters. And...didn't the 501st legion fight at Christophsis?
 * 14) **Ghost Squadron was part of the 212th, and Torrent Company was part of the 501st. I'm unsure if the major units themselves appeared; I have to check. I've taken out all the individuals from the "participants" except for the Venators; I think that they need to be identified. If they need to go as well, I'll get them.
 * 15) * A bit too much detail for the duel between Ventress and the Jedi. Prune a tad.
 * 16) **Addressed; I cut most of the dialogue out.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * The entire article is told from the Republic's perspective. For battle articles, you must take a more objective viewpoint. This includes telling us who the traitor is from the get-go, when he's informing the Confederacy, when Ventress arrives, etc. Basically, as a guide, make sure that nothing is "revealed" in the article.
 * 18) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Far too much detail on the captured Rotta thing.
 * 20) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * Not sure about the relevance of the soundtrack thing in the BTS. Thefourdotelipsis 09:12, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **I'm not sure; I felt it was needed since the track shared the same name, and it was specifically composed for the battle. If you still think it needs to go, I'll nuke it. I'll get to the others later today.  CC7567  (talk) 16:15, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It can stay, I've just never seen it in a Battle article before. Thefourdotelipsis 23:46, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * TCW's first "official" nom after the duel was merged into the battle.  CC7567  (talk) 06:33, 26 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nevermind; it's the second one, since Trayus nominated Nuvo Vindi. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:35, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

Ugor

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 02:02, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Greetings in the name of the Great Brophet Botib (may his membrane squish with zealous wrath for eternity!). It has come to our attention that your humbly insignificant little holosite has granted "Featured Articleness" to a biece of unabashed psychological warfare about the pseudobodia of the Anti-Brophet and Most Abominable Enemies to the System of Baradise and its sanctified denizens, the Ugors. After much debate in a joint session of the Holy Ugorian Fleet and the Sacred Office of Brobaganda and Fundraising, we hab decided not to turn our mighty dreadnoughts on your serbers. Instead, blease find our resbonse to said brebious biece of doggerel about said demonic agents. May the Beace of the Redeeming Cytoblasm of the Angel of Taxations and Imborts wash ober you. BulbSav, High Chablain of Incomes, Wages, and Tax Brackets, Most Holy Office of Intrasystem Rebenue and Beatitudes

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total/INQCON 2)
Support Object Comments
 * 1) Better now after a thinking; I had trouble with 4D and the Technology quote. Sorry I cannot give you an Inqvote. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:27, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 23:38, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 03:57, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Farl me, you lodds and azexual pdeacheds:
 * 1) * [An Ugor might] create several smiling mouths to placate a nervous customer. The first part is OK under biology; the second part, the reason moving Ugors to do so, should go under culture.
 * 2) * I've been told that double-linking should be avoided (Link once per intro, per main body, per infobox, in 1st mention). Squib is linked under Biology, Society (Not even the 1st mention in Society), History. Paradise system is not linked under society, but linked later under Institutions and again under History. Prime Mover is linked under Institutions and then under History (again, not 1st mention). Please revise.
 * 3) * Context for Ortolan and for "ugly". I suggest rewording the sentence about "ugly", as it apparently provides the context later.
 * 4) * Droids were regarded as "non-eaters" and thus forbidden aboard Ugorian vessels. Even with their potential as garbage? What does this sentence mean? Are droids considered mere items instead of people (which is the common view)? So droids were not admitted as garbage? What happens if an Ugor finds a droid in a wreckage? Would the droid be disconnected and taken to a vessel, or simply left behind? This apparently contradicts later utterance An additional fee might be levied for any droids in the party [wanting to enter an Ugor ship].
 * 5) * sometime between the battles of Yavin and Hoth. Context or replace with dates (0 BBY-3 ABY).
 * 6) * It was a short leap from eating garbage to worshipping it. Doesn't sound encyclopedic to me. Also, do Ugors leap?
 * 7) * The species eventually turned their archaic but formidable weaponry on the worlds of their system and methodically blasted them into rubble. Uh? Which species? Which system? Squibs, Ugors, Jawas? Who is doing what? Are the Ugors destroying Paradise system? And if they are, why?
 * 8) * The Almas event of 17 BBY is not referenced under History, only under Ugors in the Galaxy. I'd rather see the chronological events under the section for chronological events.
 * 9) * And one more: Is the Almas event related to the Elrood events? I agree not to include Almas (or Elrood) events under History, but at least I think each of those events deserve an individual paragraph, even if both are examples of "Other Ugors scavenged on the surface of worlds." Something like: "In another example of Ugors performing surface scavenging, other Ugor bands operateed on the planet Korad in the Elrood sector.
 * I, humbde believed, tank you vedimasch for youd jenedouz donazion to oud bedobed Hody WookieePdoject. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:29, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) **I've tried to address all of your points but these:
 * 2) ***I disagree that "placat[ing] a nervous customer" must necessarily go under "Society and culture". It's important to say that an Ugor can make many mouths, as it's a canonical example of something they can do, but a slight little mention of why they might do so shouldn't be forced out of the section simply because it's not biology per se.
 * 3) ****Ok.
 * 4) ***Can you clarify what you mean by "context" on "sometime between the battles of Yavin and Hoth"? This dating is explained in the footnote and is necessary due to the impreciseness of Scavenger Hunt.
 * 5) ****The reader is not neccessarily familiar with the timeframe of events using battles, particularly as there are several battles of Hoth (two of them after Operation: Skyhook; you should link to the one you're talking about). I think sometime between 0 BBY and 3 ABY is less ambiguous and provides a neutral reference (Ugors do not seem to be very impressed with the Galactic Civil War, not everybody is interested in battles). Although battles happen in a specific date, I don't think an event should be used instead of a numeric date when referring to a chronological moment: You don't say "I was born between the moment of the battle of Casinga and the debut of Garfield", but "I was born in 1978". IMHO.
 * 6) ***The Almas event isn't part of the Ugors' history except that a group of Ugors cleaned up after it. As this is the Ugors' modus operandi, I don't think it really belongs in their history.
 * 7) ****Roger, roger (Please, note I've added one new objection). And kudo again. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:52, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****OK, fair points. I've given another shot at addressing your objections. By the way, what do you still object to with regard to droids, Ortolans, and "uglies?" ~ SavageBob 12:35, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ******Nothing against Ortolans and uglies after a second reading. But I still cannot reconcile the sentence about droids. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *******What can't you reconcile exactly? I'm confusing myself, I think! Basically, if you come to Paradise as a pilgrim, your droids must stay on the ship, since they are "non-eaters' and are thus not worthy to be pilgrims from the Ugors' perspective. You will also have to pay more for them to have free passage through the system. I would assume that droids would be allowed on Ugor ships as salvage, but no instance of this exists in any source, so it would be speculation to say as much. ~ SavageBob 13:17, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review! Very thorough. Let me know what you think about the few points of disagreement. ~ SavageBob 09:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Four Dot
 * 13) * Is the Ugor homeworld really "unknown," or is it just unidentified?
 * 14) * Even though I'm sure that's what is said in the original source, I'd suggest qualifying the use of the word "exotic," with "considered to be," as I'm sure they weren't exotic to themselves. :P
 * 15) *Tis all. Thefourdotelipsis 01:54, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) **Can you clarify what the difference would be between "unknown" and "unidentified"? I'm sure it's one or the other, but I'm not sure which! ~ SavageBob 14:22, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Unknown means that no one knows about it. :P Unidentified just means that it doesn't have a name. Thefourdotelipsis 23:42, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **OK, I've made a stab at the "exotic" thing, and the Galaxy Guides do indeed say that their homeworld is unknown. ~ SavageBob 04:33, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Eyrezer:
 * 20) * Can you clarify what you mean by "sliced up" in the intro? --Eyrezer 04:43, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **The original source says, "Using their primitive but powerful weapons, the Ugors slowly sliced apart every planet in their home system, bit by bit, over a standard century." Do you think more needs to be added to the intro about this? ~ SavageBob 06:39, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***I think it was much clearer in the body of the article. If you could make it more like that, perhaps. --Eyrezer 07:34, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ****I'm trying to keep to the point in the intro, but is it any better now? ~ SavageBob 10:41, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * "Sometime during the Galactic Civil War, however, a Squib named Slythor arrived on the world and took over one of the salvage yards. He declared himself "Highest Exalted Ruler of Korad" and used Squib henchmen to enforce access to the planet.[48]" Can you make the connection between this and the Ugor more explicit?
 * 25) **I gave it a shot. Better? ~ SavageBob 06:39, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Much better. --Eyrezer 07:34, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * I'd appreciate busting the redlinks in the Appearances section --Eyrezer 00:22, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) **Working on it. I can't promise anything on "Hyperspace WayStation," since I haven't been able to get my hands on a copy, but I can do the "Ellusive" one. ~ SavageBob 06:39, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Having read this, I'd love to see you tackle the barri. They sound intruiging. --Eyrezer 00:30, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Darth Bandon

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:14, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is my first nom for an FA, wish me luck!

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Reviewed it on the GAN.  CC7567  (talk) 22:30, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:14, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 16:54, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) The nominator has worked diligently on bringing this up to Featured status requirements. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 10:32, 12 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Good job! –<font color="#c00">Victor  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|15px|link=Category:Articles by Victor Dorantes]] ( talk page ) 01:44, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Great article! Good Job Inquisitorius! -  Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 18:16, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) Thefourdotelipsis 01:58, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * "In the tradition of the Sith Order, Malak sought a single learner among his followers to become his official apprentice, someone that could learn the Sith secrets and use them to effectively destroy the Jedi and the Republic." - the way it's worded makes it seem like this was after Revan's capture. Please reword.
 * 3) **OK, I actually put that whole sentence in the second paragraph, since no source it actually clear on when Bandon won Malak's admiration, whether Malak was searching for an apprentice before or after he took the mantle of Dark Lord. You can take a look at the Jedi Civil War section to see exactly what I did.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:52, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "Bandon seemed to hold contempt for the bounty hunter Calo Nord; before Bandon fought Revan, he had a brief conversation with the redeemed Jedi, in which he called the recently deceased Nord a "pathetic bounty hunter."" - what does this have to do with the P&T, exactly? It would work better in the bio.
 * 5) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "A picture of Darth Bandon in the campaign guide depicts him dueling the Cathar Jedi Juhani,[13] which could indicate that Juhani accompanied Revan when Bandon confronted him." - original research, as a potential duel between Bandon and Juhani could have theoretically happened at any time. Please remove.
 * 7) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *Nice job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:47, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) A review for you.
 * 10) *Infobox
 * 11) ** Grammar and grammar continuity; shouldn't "Formerly" be lowercase (under Affiliation section, appearing twice) because it's not a proper noun and not the beginning of a sentence (in this case, Jedi Order and Galactic Republic bullet points are)? You prove this by not capitalizing "as" before "as Darth Bandon".
 * 12) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Raiding the Endar Spire
 * 14) ** "the Republic captain, Carth Onasi" - His title is "Republic captain" and therefore the comma is unnecessary (and wrong in terms of grammar)
 * 15) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *'''The Search for Bastila and downfall"
 * 17) ** I think the header will read better if you remove "The" from it. Just a suggestion.
 * 18) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ** "the Shadow Hand presumed that Revan and his team would be no match for him, expressing his fear that someone else had killed the redeemed Jedi, thereby depriving Bandon the "pleasure" of slaying him." Okay, I had to read this about four times before getting what you meant. I think you should reword the part beginning with "expressing" to clearly state that he thought someone had killed Revan already before he could get to him. It's a bit confusing as it is right now, to me at least.
 * 20) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ** "calling him "pathetic", and stating that while Revan may have defeated Nord, that the former Dark Lord was no match for him" Does 'pathetic' really need apostrophes? It may be Bandon's POV but it is a fact that he said that. Also, the last part seems redundant since you already said Bandon stated Revan and his team were no match for him.
 * 22) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ** "quick and painful" I always found coding other than bold (in the intro) to be bad style and a bit prosey. I think that should be removed, as it reads fine without the italics and the context remains the same, but I don't know where (if at all) this objection stands on policy.
 * 24) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ** I think combining the last two sentences of the last paragraph in this section will help it read a lot better. Combine at "Revan and his companions, but, despite the Sith apprentice's skill, Bandon..." (You get it).
 * 26) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ** Side note, this file (which appears in the section below) is canon, therefore making it canon that Juhani fought Bandon. The only possible time this could've happened was when Revan and Bandon fought and the latter was killed, so couldn't it be stated that Juhani was a part of Revan's companions? Just asking.As well, shouldn't a "100% game completion" tag be attached to this article in appropriate sections? Seen some 100% game completion related stuff (such as Revan's dialogue about Trask - that is an option, not required to complete the game, and from the Personality section: "Both his lightsaber and armor might have been acquired by Revan after the redeemed Jedi killed him." Which is also if the player completes the game 100%...)
 * 28) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) *BTS
 * 30) ** "A picture of Darth Bandon in the campaign guide depicts him dueling the Cathar Jedi Juhani." This sentence seems to fit better with the previous paragraph. Starting this second one with this fact is really random, as it does not connect with the following facts (continuity errors seems to be the theme).
 * 31) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ** Remove italics from "after" in "...Darth Bandon after escaping the Leviathan..." per my above objection.
 * 33) ***Taken care of, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:01, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) *That's it. Good read. –<font color="#c00">Victor  Redstarbird.svg ( talk page ) 08:02, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Four Dot
 * 36) * The intro is quite fat, and could do with some paring down. Basically, cut down on parts where you're going into too much detail.
 * 37) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) ***No, I think it needs a lot more than that. Basically, cut it down to about 2 paragraphs. And not 2 massive paragraphs, either. Thefourdotelipsis 23:11, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****What you should really be cutting out here is the contextual details, such as Nord's involvement, Revan's mission, etc. Just pick out the details that are broadly important to Bandon's life, and keep those. Thefourdotelipsis 23:33, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ****OK, I believe I've taken out extensive info on Nord, but I feel Revan's mission needs to stay to explain what Revan was doing that caused Malak to send Bandon to kill him.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:17, 1 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****I believe I've shortened it adequately, please look at it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:26, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * "When the Sith attacked the Jedi Knight Bastila Shan's ship, the Endar Spire, above the planet Taris, Bandon boarded the ship, with the Sith troopers and Dark Jedi under his command, to try and capture Shan." - Try and break this sentence up a bit.
 * 43) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * "He killed the Republic ensign, Trask Ulgo, who sacrificed himself to save Revan&mdash;who had been rescued by Shan after Malak's betrayal, and reprogrammed to be loyal to the Republic by the Jedi Council. - A tad unwieldly.
 * 45) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***I'm not seeing any changes made there...?--Thefourdotelipsis 23:11, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) ****OK, if I mention Revan, I also need to mention exactly why he was on Endar Spire, and how he came to be there.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:25, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) *****You do, but it's just phrased oddly. Thefourdotelipsis 23:33, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) ******How's this? He killed the Republic ensign, Trask Ulgo, who sacrificed himself to save the former Sith Lord Revan, who was programmed to be loyal to the Republic by the Jedi Council.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:57, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) *****OK, I put this down: He killed the Republic ensign Trask Ulgo, who sacrificed himself to save the amnesiac former Sith Lord Revan, who had survived Malak's betrayal.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:29, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * "Revan and the Republic captain Carth Onasi fled aboard the ship's last escape pod, and crash-landed on Taris, where Shan's pod had also landed. Sometime after Taris' destruction, which Malak ordered in an attempt to destroy Shan, the bounty hunter Calo Nord was sent by Malak to capture Shan, who had escaped the planet through the efforts of Onasi and Revan." - This is the kind of stuff I'm talking about. You've got a fair portion of the intro where you're not talking about Bandon at all. This can all go.
 * 52) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) ***You can still do without the mention of Nord's hiring, which will contribute to the cutting down of the intro.--Thefourdotelipsis 23:11, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) ****But I can't just cut out the part where it mentions Nord was hired, since it described why Bandon was sent after Shan in the first place.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:08, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * "Sometime after Malak ordered the destruction of Taris in an attempt to kill Shan, he was informed by the Sith Admiral Saul Karath and the bounty hunter Calo Nord, of Shan's escape from Taris. Malak hired Nord&mdash;who told the Dark Lord that his former Master, Revan, was not only alive, but had also assisted in Shan's escape&mdash;to find and capture Shan, stating that her companions meant nothing to him and that he wanted her alive. After Nord was killed by Revan, who had been retrained in the Jedi ways and commissioned by the Jedi Council on the planet Dantooine to find the Star Forge, Admiral Karath informed Malak of Nord's failure." - This is kinda irrelevant. Condense.
 * 56) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ***I can't really see much of a change there. Thefourdotelipsis
 * 58) ****How about now?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:05, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * "Bandon also mentioned the recently deceased bounty hunter Calo Nord, calling him pathetic, and stating that while Revan may have defeated Nord, that the former Dark Lord was no match for him." - Getting a bit too PBPish.
 * 60) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * "Both his lightsaber and armor might have been acquired by Revan after the redeemed Jedi killed him." - You don't need to state this. Either he did or he didn't. It's worth a BTS note, maybe. Also, if you remove this, you can ditch the Gamemechanics template in the P/T.
 * 62) **I believe I've taken care of it.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) *Otherwise, fine. Thefourdotelipsis 09:32, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) The Pasta Bowl takes on the Bts&hellip;
 * 65) *"In the section on the Sith in the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide, Darth Bandon is referred to as a Sith Lord, when other sources, including his entries in the campaign guide&hellip;" This is confusing. Clarify. Also, I do not see how it is impossible that he could not be a Sith Lord. There seems to be a difference in the KotOR games between a generic title of "Sith Lord" and the supreme title of "Dark Lord of the Sith."
 * 66) **Taken care of, I believe. Other than the first page in the Sith section in the campaign guide, no other source explicitly states that he was a Sith Lord.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ***The part that is somewhat confusing was not touched. I quoted it above. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:37, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) *"The guide Jedi vs. Sith: Essential Guide to the Force incorrectly states that Bandon died in the year 3,951 BBY, along with Darths Traya, Sion, and Nihilus. It also states that Bandon was a Dark Lord,[ref omitted] which is impossible since his Master, Darth Malak, was the reigning Dark Lord of the Sith." These two sentences function very closely together. Therefore, it almost feels like&mdash;while not intended&mdash;it is being stated that Malak and Bandon were still alive in 3,951 BBY. Add the info about his real death date to show the contrast and to sever the link between the sentences. Next, stating "which is impossible" seems very presumptuous. (1) The Rule of Two is still nearly 3,000 years away; (2) TSL proves that there can be more than one Sith Lord at one time; (3) the timeframe is not clarified so stating "was the reigning" has no context or qualifier.
 * 69) **Taken care of. It might, but, like above, no other source states that he was a Dark Lord, either. Also, Traya and the Triumvirate differed from Revan's teachings. In Darth Bane: Path of Destruction, Revan's holocron tells Darth Bane that there could only be one Dark Lord.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 70) ***(1) The date of his death that is now mentioned is not found in KotOR. Please find a source that actually uses that date. The infobox and biography will need to be fixed as well. (2) Maybe it is me, but I am finding the last two sentences of this paragraph of be bordering on OR since there is nothing that states that Bandon was not a Dark Lord of the Sith under Malak. Again, we have no proof of Malak's teachings or what his beliefs about being a Sith Lord or the number thereof were. Because of the way things are worded and strung together, I would prefer these two sentences be outright removed. The point of its unlikely nature is already made above in the article. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:37, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) *"If Revan encountered him on the forest world Kashyyyk, however, he is accompanied by two Dark Jedi that resemble the Sith Governor inside the Tarisian Sith Base." That seems like game mechanics and assuming a similarity is OR. Reword.
 * 72) **I really don't know how I could reword this since this actually takes place in-game, should the player choose to visit Kashyyyk to find the fourth Star Map.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) ***Assuming that the Dark Jedi resemble the Governor is OR because the game mechanics only have a few template faces to use for the characters. If there is an actual source that states that they were similar in appearance, then it is fine. Otherwise, remove. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:37, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) *"Bandon's double-bladed lightsaber appears to have some unusual properties that set it apart from other lightsabers." Either it does or it does not, not "appears to" which is speculation and OR. If it does, it needs to be carefully quantified and I would like to see some reference made to statistical changes.
 * 75) **And where exactly would I get these references? Would a gametip site worki?--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ***No, there is plenty of information into the game. This is one case were game mechanics can be beneficial if the lightsaber is unique. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:37, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) * "Bandon's unique lightsaber&hellip;" PoV: Clarify.
 * 78) **Taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:43, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 21:37, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'll take care of the last few objections next week. I'll be gone tomorrow and on the weekend.
 * OK, about the intro, is this part necessary? Malak was pleased with his choice, for Bandon was successful in eliminating many of his former comrades. I personally think it is, but I'll remove it if you don't think it is.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:25, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Teth

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 05:29, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The second (and admittedly, much more tedious) part of TCW film.

(2 Inq/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 2)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 09:26, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done, CC. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:48, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  The Flash  {talk} 05:03, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Well, despite all his failings, Darth Vatrir does deserve some thanks, he was the one who changed this article from a stub to a fully comprehensive one. Jensaarai 16:39, 17 June 2009 (UTC)'

Object
 * 1) Four Dot
 * 2) * The "Kenobi vs. Ventress" section gets a bit too PBP in parts. Condense just a wee bit.
 * 3) **Addressed, hopefully; if you think that it can be cut down more, please let me know.
 * 4) * "The battle appeared in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars film, which served as the basis to the 2008 television series." - Not entirely true. The film was cut together from what were intended to be episodes, as you go on to state.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * While I was OK with it on the Christophsis article since it was a track name, I don't think the Kevin Kiner mention really has a place in the BTS here.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *Otherwise, really quite solid work. Thefourdotelipsis 14:11, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thankies.  CC7567  (talk) 16:01, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Rulf Yage

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:50, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wookieepedia's Father of the Year for 137 ABY.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total/INQCON 6)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 00:14, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:50, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:42, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 21:10, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Again! —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 18:46, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunny:
 * 2) * The intro could be cut down to match the length of the article.
 * 3) **I honestly don't know how I could cut down on the intro; my original version was much longer, and I had to remove a lot of details from that. The only possible thing I could remove are the details on the lead up to and the final battle of the Sith-Imperial War, all of which I believe are necessary to set the stage for Yage's attack on Ossus. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I still think it could be summarized more efficiently. For an article of this length the intro should be about two decently sized paragraphs. We can discuss it in IRC next time I catch you there :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 05:43, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "an elite unit of Predator-class starfighters" currently the type of squadron Skull Squadron is only included in the intro, could be worth a mention in the body too as it would show what type of starfighter he flew.
 * 6) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) * Seat on the Council of Moffs: "allied with the One Sith Order of Darth Krayt, the Dark Lord of the Sith, and it was the Sith who had sabotaged the Ossus Project." Too many "Sith"s in close succession, can you reword a little?
 * 8) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) * The search for Skywalker: "through Moff Konrad Rus's contacts on Bastion, where Skywalker had healed Imperial heir Princess Marasiah Fel after she had been injured during an encounter with the Sith on Vendaxa." Didn't Skywalker heal her on the Mynock straight after the battle, as they left Vendaxa for Bastion, not on Bastion itself?
 * 10) **Reworded. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) * The search for Skywalker: "Yage accused the Chiss Moff Fehlaaur that the Chiss Ascendancy was harboring" Using "accused" and "that" together reads a little awkward to me and I think it could be worded better, can you rework it?
 * 12) **Reworded as well. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Good work as usual, Tranner :-).  Grunny  ( Talk ) 10:18, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) From the eighth cortex of Harrar
 * 15) * Intro "a move done behind the back of the incumbent Emperor Roan Fel" - can we rephrase "done"? I think it's the wrong verb. Maybe "carried out"?
 * 16) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * ...the Moffs...allied with the order of the Dark Lord Darth Krayt, and it was the Sith who had sabotaged the Ossus Project." Something ain't right about that "and". Not sure what's going on so can't correct.
 * 18) **I believe that was something left over from a previous version. Fixed now. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * Do you want to pipelink in Battle of Caamas in the body? I don't know where you wanna put it so I haven't sofixited it.
 * 20) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "But one final act in the war had yet to come." Call me old-fashioned. But I don't think sentences should really start with "but". Maybe something like "The final act of the war, however, had yet to come."
 * 22) **Honestly, I don't see why it would be an issue. Nonetheless, I've changed it. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It was more because it was at the start of the paragraph and didn't seem to flow that well, but these kind of objections are a bit frustrating, sorry.
 * 24) * "He had become aware of the healing power that Jedi-turned-bounty hunter Cade Skywalker possessed through Moff Konrad Rus's contacts on Bastion, where Skywalker had returned Imperial heir Princess Marasiah Fel after she had been injured during an encounter with the Sith on Vendaxa. The Dark Lord of the Sith hoped to capture the former Jedi and convert him to the dark side of the Force with the hope that his abilities could be used to increase the Emperor's own longevity." I think this can be drastically be reduced in size; how about "Having become aware of the healing power that Jedi-turned-bounty hunter Cade Skywalker possessed, Krayt hoped to capture the former Jedi and convert him to the dark side of the Force, in the hope that Skywalker's abilities could be used to increase the Emperor's own longevity." Or maybe I'm going above my station, sorry. If you don't change it, then you need to de-link Princess Marasiah Fel as you've already established her in the first section.
 * 25) **Eh, I have it like that primarily for context. I figured that if I didn't explain it originally, someone would ask me to during the review. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***Sure, better more context than less I say.
 * 27) * "Gunn and her squad mates Jae Akura, Brodie Coburn, and Tev Rimon returned to the Skull Squadron Hangar, where Gunn encountered her father." Can we re-word this to Yage's perspective, i.e. that he traveled to the hangar and awaited their arrival?
 * 28) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * You've used the quotation for the P&T but haven't drawn conclusions from it in the P&T, which might seem strange for readers. Can you add a little more with inferences?
 * 30) **Excellent catch, Harrar. Fixed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:54, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *Great article Tranner, I do hope Arien Yage resurfaces with Rulf as her grandson! -- —Harrar  ( Cut the comm chatter ) 20:30, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) Blacklist:
 * 33) * "A member of the Council of Moffs, he represented the interests of the Imperial Navy, having previously served as both the commander of Skull Squadron, an elite unit of Predator-class starfighters]] assigned to defend the Imperial capital world of Bastion, and the coordinator of starfighter tactics on the Star Destroyer Ephin Sarreti, attached to the Second Outer Rim Fleet." This is quite a run on, please split up.
 * 34) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 02:06, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) *Possibly more to come in a bit. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 02:00, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "When Gunn and her squad mates Jae Akura, Brodie Coburn, and Tev Rimon returned to the Skull Squadron Hangar, Rulf was waiting for them." Rearrange this please so that it is told from the perspective of Moff Yage.
 * 37) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:22, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * In the next few sentences, you use the phrase, "wasting/wasted no time" in too close succession. Please rework.
 * 39) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:22, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "Yage met his daughter at the Naboo Queen restaurant, formerly the senatorial apartment of one-time Naboo queen and senator, Padmé Amidala, during the final days of the Old Republic." This almost reads like Yage met his daughter at the Naboo Queen during the final days of the Old Republic. IMO, I don't think you need to explain the reasoning for the restaurant being named Naboo Queen; you give enough context I believe by simply stating it was a "restaurant".
 * 41) **I removed the commas around Padmé Amidala, but I left all the context in. If you still feel it would be better with all the details removed, let me know. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:22, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) ***For some reason, that made quite the difference. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 18:46, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *That's all. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:50, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) Imperialles:
 * File:Moffyage.jpg is horribly low quality; you can see fingerprint residue from the scanner. I would be embarrassed to put it on the Main Page. Additionally, the text of the non-cropped speech bubble has to be restored.
 * File:FehlaaurYage.jpg is also a fairly low-quality scan. There seems to be a strip of &hellip;something stretching across the image near the characters' faces. The speech bubbles must be restored.
 * File:RulfsIsNotToQuestionWhySWL19p13.jpg could be better scanned; the whole thing seems a little blurry.
 * File:IdentityCrisis-SWL19p12.jpg is also blurry, but to a far greater degree than the previously mentioned image. It has a Monet-ish flair.
 * 1) *These objections fall under rules 4 (See Images) and 16 of the FAN criteria. --Imperialles 13:16, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Gha Nachkt

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:27, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This droid is worth more, I get paid more.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 2)
Support > JangFett  Talk 15:45, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) I forgot to vote when I struck the objections. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 16:31, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:58, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
 *  CC7567  (talk) 20:29, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 17:54, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) The clone
 * 2) * A note for the future: I'm seeing several unnecessary capitalizations. Titles are not capitalized unless they address the person bearing the title, i.e. "General Grievous" (and "the General of the Confederacy, Grievous" is an incorrect capitalization). I've changed them; please address in future noms.
 * 3) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I believe you misunderstood what I meant. "General Grievous" is fine, but "the General of the Confederacy, Grievous", is not. I've corrected this, but please refer to the Manual of Style more in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * I'm noticing both overlinking and underlinking throughout the article. Articles need to be linked once they first appear, and at no other points unless extremely necessary. Also, several links were to redirects; please try to link to the articles themselves, not redirect pages. I corrected what I saw, but please go through the article again.
 * 6) **Care to point out what's left, please? -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***There's nothing I can really say except to please run through it again. I'll go through it when I review it with more scrutiny soon, but for now, all I can say is to check it. There's not any specific advice I can give for this; it would be better if you can correct.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * In the infobox, the episode isn't the best source for Nachkt's species. I would recommend changing it to the episode guides (if they have it) or the Visual Guide.
 * 9) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "During the Clone Wars" is used twice in the intro; way too redundant. I would suggest removing context for the war, as it's a bit unneeded at this point.
 * 11) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Remains" of what?
 * 13) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Nachkt worked with the foreman of a former Republic commerce guild, the Techno Union, Wat Tambor, at one point in time." Context messes this up; please at least remove the context for the Techno Union to make it flow better.
 * 15) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Still there; please just remove the context for the Techno Union. It's not appropriate at this point, since the current sentence flow is extremely choppy.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * Argente was affiliated with the Techno Union? Factual error, I believe. He was the Corporate Alliance Magistrate; I haven't seen anything to prove that he was affiliated otherwise.
 * 18) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "Nachkt’s scavenging meant": scavenging can't "mean" anything unless he analyzed it; please reword.
 * 20) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Nachkt’s scavenging meant he found an astromech droid belonging to the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker. Nachkt resolved to sell R2-D2, the droid": awkward wording. Please mention that R2-D2 was the astromech droid when you mention the droid the first time.
 * 22) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) * In the intro, didn't Tambor anticipate that Argente would go to Nachkt to buy a droid, and isn't that why he hired Nachkt?
 * 24) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) * Why did Skywalker and Tano go to the Vulture's Claw?
 * 26) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * It seems to me as though Nachkt never identified R2 by name. It's fine to mention R2-D2 as the droid's name when he's first mentioned, but I believe that "the droid" or "the astromech droid" would be more appropriate throughout the article, because using R2's name implies that Nachkt knew it. Whether or not he knew it, he didn't use it.
 * 28) **I hardly see it as implying that. It merely dictates the specific name of "the droid" in question, rather than implying anything Nachkt did or did not do. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Nachkt was approached by the Skakoan Foreman of the Techno Union, a commerce guild affiliated with the Confederacy, Wat Tambor." Same context issue as before; also, unless it's really necessary, Tambor's species doesn't need to be in there.
 * 30) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) ***No, this still remains, and as before, now the context for the Techno Union is mentioned twice. Please check over the article more carefully when you're addressing these objections.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * I'm noticing throughout the article that you're saying a person's title and then identifying them by name in the next sentence or so. Please correct this, as it's not very clear why it needs to be this way.
 * 33) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * It's unclear why Nachkt's scavenging is mentioned after his deal with Tambor; wasn't he a scavenger prior to then? Also, there's no evidence to suggest that it took place this early; as far as we know, it took place shortly before Argente arrived.
 * 35) **Actually, there's no canon evidence to dictate when this deal happened, or when the meeting occurred chronologically. Therefore, we must go by what's likely; such a deal would have had to have been prepared, therefore we must assume the deal was made prior to the Battle of Bothawui.. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***You are correct. However, it was already established that he was a smuggler. I don't believe he turned into a scavenger just for the Battle of Bothawui, because that's currently what the chronological order implies. Please establish the base of his persona before stating specific events that he participated in.  CC7567  (talk) 20:33, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * "Nachkt would search": inappropriate verb tense; bit confusing.
 * 38) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * "During the Battle of Bothawui, another battle between the Confederacy and the Republic in the Clone Wars": "another" shouldn't be used here, because there hasn't been any other battle stated in the article.
 * 40) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) * "in the conflict" is unclear, because it implies that it applied to the Clone Wars itself.
 * 42) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * "Despite R2 being just a droid": "just", as a verb, needs to be replaced with a noun for this to work.
 * 44) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) ***No, this is still there. The sentence doesn't work if a noun doesn't follow "despite".  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * Why was Skywalker required to wipe the droid's memory?
 * 47) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Yes, but why was he required to hide information from the Confederacy? Specifically, who required him to do this?  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) ****Still remains.  CC7567  (talk) 08:07, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Correction: Grievous was a cyborg, not a droid. I've reworded the sentence anyway, but please keep this in mind.
 * 51) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * "After Nachkt had got R2": colloquial; also, does this really need to be in there?
 * 53) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) ***I meant that the phrase itself is unnecessary. It's already been stated that Nachkt had possession of the droid, and restating it is just redundant.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * "Argente felt that the Clone Wars were going badly for the Confederacy, and the Confederacy were looking for a scapegoat. He felt that Tambor wanted to make Argente the scapegoat, and so wanted a droid to spy on Tambor.": This can be shortened, as it applies more to Argente than Nachkt.
 * 56) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ***This can still be shortened more.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ****Now it's rather colloquial. Perhaps change it to something about Argente holding personal disputes with Tambor. It's really unnecessary and irrelevant to Nachkt himself.  CC7567  (talk) 08:07, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) * It needs to be stated earlier that Tambor gave Nachkt the protocol droid; wasn't that part of Tambor's plan?
 * 60) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ***I haven't seen any change in this; please check again.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) * "When the two Jedi came on board the Vulture's Claw to search for R2-D2, Nachkt hid Skywalker's astromech droid, instead escorting them to another area of the ship whilst he hid the droid." So Nachkt hid the droid twice?
 * 63) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * Where did Skywalker search for his droid with Tano?
 * 65) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * "After arriving at Grievous' rendezvous point, Nachkt began to reveal the droid's secrets to the General." Please clarify why this is here. I haven't been given any reason to believe that Nachkt was "revealing the droid's secrets" to Grievous when he arrived. If you mean that Grievous ordered him to take apart R2, please either move this down to where it chronologically happens or remove it.
 * 67) * "and take the information from him and give it to the general": so Nachkt was stealing R2's memory? Again, I haven't been given a reason to believe this; please reword.
 * 68) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) * "information which Skywalker felt would be devastating to the Republic in the hands of the Confederacy": well, yes, it was implied, but wasn't Kenobi the one who specifically mentioned this? I would recommend just removing Skywalker in this sentence, as I'm quite sure many Republic officials and Jedi would agree with this, not only Skywalker.
 * 70) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * "Nachkt, having been working on taking the droid apart": please change verb tense to something more appropriate.
 * 72) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * "as the droid was worth more to the general": really? I believe it would be more appropriate to say that Grievous himself stated this.
 * 74) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ***Nevermind; please just reword this and mention that Grievous found the information more valuable than what he originally thought.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) * Is the P&T quote really appropriate? I don't find that a lack of personal hygiene entirely dictates one's personality.
 * 77) **Well, any quote can only cover so far. I mean, one quote can cover perhaps one aspect of a personality, and this is one aspect of a personality covered by one quote. "He's a typical smuggler - prone to lying" as a completely made up quote would only cover the aspect of lying in a character's personality. Same here, but with a different aspect. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) ***I don't understand what you're saying; yes, you're correct in that a quote can only cover one aspect of someone's personality, but the flatulence quote is just unnecessary and inappropriate here. The P&T quote should highlight the most important aspect of his personality (or at least a more important one), and flatulence does not fall in that category. A lack of hygiene implies a lack of care for oneself, yes, but it is not essentially part of the personality.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) * Nachkt's lack of care for "withholding his flatulence" needs a source; the episode isn't a source.
 * 80) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) * The flatulence is rather overly embellished upon. Is a few sentences (vs. one sentence) really necessary to be dedicated to one's hygiene rather than one's personality?
 * 82) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) *"Nachkt was liable to lie and hide things from people if he felt being honest would mean he would loose any merchandise he would otherwise be able to sell." A few things:
 * 84) ** This sentence is choppy and needs rewording.
 * 85) ** "Liable" isn't an appropriate choice of words; it's usually "liable to experience something", not "liable to commit something".
 * 86) ***Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) * "when they came searching for him": colloquial; please mention the Vulture's Claw somewhere in there.
 * 88) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) *** Please check this again; both objections still remain. It's still colloquial, and the Vulture's Claw still needs to be mentioned.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) * "Nachkt was also somewhat greedy": it's either he was or he wasn't; don't leave room for speculation. Didn't his ability to be bribed by Argente further prove this? Also, that ability to be bribed needs to be mentioned here in the P&T.
 * 91) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) * "In both episodes, the webcomic and in the series of The Clone Wars in general, Nachkt is the only character to be prone to such flatulence as he is." This is too trivial and is in need of a nuking.
 * 93) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) * The episodes aren't sources for the tradition of a Trandoshan having three fingers.
 * 95) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) * "The seats of Nachkt’s ship, Vulture’s Claw, are similar in design to those in the Millenium Falcon, the ship owned by the smuggler Han Solo." If anything, this should have been mentioned in the ship's article; however, this is too trivial as well to be worth a mention.
 * 97) **Yep. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  19:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) *Please just go through this article and improve things in general. Awkward wording seems to be prominent where better wording could be used, and less colloquial wording can be used in multiple places. Good luck with these. I'll take another look once they're addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 05:32, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * "Gha Nachkt, as a Trandoshan, had a distinct lack of personal hygiene in comparison with what humans and other sentients such as Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano deemed to be civilized." First of all, Skywalker and Tano's reactions in the episode are not a source of their beliefs on civility. Also, the "Trandoshan trend" of a lack of personal hygiene requires a source.  CC7567  (talk) 01:26, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) Fett's 2 cents
 * 101) * New info: From
 * 102) ** Gha Nachkt's shirt markings indicate that he is a level 5 droid programmer. StarWars.com is streaming the decoded episode right now.
 * 103) ***Added. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Second attack
 * 2) * I believe that the intro can be shortened. Two paragraphs will be fine, but I don't mean for you to do this simply by merging paragraphs.
 * 3) **It's a pretty small intro, really, and I can't see much use of shortening it, especially when compared to a lot of other intros... -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * "Despite Nachkt's neutrality to both factions, Nachkt would deal with both the Republic and the Confederacy." The neutrality already says that; the sentence is redundant in itself.
 * 5) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "At some point, Nachkt was approached by Wat Tambor, a member of the Confederacy. Tambor was Foreman of the Techno Union, a commerce guild affiliated with the Confederacy." There's a tad of excess context here, and it's not supporting the flow. Please either say that he's a member of the Confederacy or that he was foreman of the Techno Union; otherwise, it's redundant.
 * 7) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Tambor offered to pay him to sell a protocol droid to Magistrate of the Corporate Alliance, another commerce guild, Passel Argente, would have no idea of the droid's true programming, and so the droid would be able to spy on Argente and report back on his dealings to Tambor." There's a definite lack of flow here for reasons that I've already stated in my first look. Also, the sentence is a run-on and isn't making sense; please reword.
 * 9) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * The first paragraph of the Bio's section section has too much on R2-D2; please cut it down and only leave what's necessary to Nachkt. I don't think Kenobi even requires a mention.
 * 11) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * The paragraph regarding Nachkt's transfer of the droid to Argente is very choppy in sentence flow. Please reword and merge sentences where you can.
 * 13) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:01, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * CC7567  (talk) 04:30, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Blacklist:
 * 16) * "Nachkt sold Tambor's droid to Argente in return for credits from Tambor; the droid being able to report on Argente's dealings to Tambor without Argente knowing." Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, but I can't make sense of the second part of this sentence.
 * 17) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:00, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * "During the war, Nachkt scavenged the debris left over after battles for items he could sell to the Republic or the Confederacy. Nachkt would deal with both the Republic and the Confederacy." the same wording used at the end of both sentences in too close succession.
 * 19) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:00, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Likewise, you use "scavenging the debris after the battle" rather often for an article not of any considerable length. Consider altering your word choices here & there.
 * 21) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:00, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *Decent otherwise. Though I cleaned it up, be mindful of underlinking, among other things. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 21:10, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Thanks. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:00, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) You seem to repeat too often how he is a scavenger that sells to the Republic and Confederacy. Plus, both times you mention the Clone Wars, you don't need to say how it was fought between the Republic and Confederacy. Once in the body is probably enough. The intro doesn't usually need such specifics.  —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:24, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) *Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:00, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) * Also, looks like the last two paragraphs in "Salvaging an astromech droid" could use transitions due to their abrupt subject changes. —Xwing328 (Talk) 17:32, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **Okay, done. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  08:42, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***That helps. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:58, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Aaris III

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 22:09, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: DarkStryder comes back to haunt the FAN page ...

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:13, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:39, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 23:53, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:14, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * No suitable intro quote? --Eyrezer 00:19, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Tydirium

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 23:09, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Fresh off the GAN page!

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * 1) Assuming Farl's objections will be fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:57, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks pretty good - Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 18:21, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Shuttle Tydirium, deactivation of the shield will commence immediately. Follow your present course. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:21, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:12, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) A couple of things. Shouldn't Force Commander be after the RS games in the Appearance lists, as its mission involving the Tyderium occurs at the same time as the movie. What is the appearance in Galactic Battlegrounds? "Madine suspected that the shuttle's clearance codes would not have been updated, and would still be usable at Endor." Updated from what? --Eyrezer 23:08, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) [Moved to make it clear] Can you add a note re the ore Tyderium? (It is known that a number of other Lambda shuttles are named after ores).
 * 3) *I'll go through respectively: I thought that we voted to list sources by when they start chrnologically, not when the topic appears in them; where would I mention such a thing? BTS?; It appears landed during the Endor mission. Nothing new there; Fixed. Thefourdotelipsis 00:48, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **I guess that makes sense re the ordering - ie, if it was a novel, that is how we would order it. As to the naming convention, I was actually thinking it could go in the Description section if worded correctly. Bts could also work though. As for a source for the connection see the posts here by Dan Wallace and Abel Pena. --Eyrezer 09:15, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Farl on board
 * 6) * The last paragraph of "After Endor" combines two unrelated events: Han Solo using the Tydirium to hijack a destroyer in 4 ABY; and Starter saying unconnected things three years later. I suggest: Starter event in his own paragraph.
 * 7) **Eh... I'd rather have them smushed together than have a single-sentence paragraph.
 * 8) ***You've considered it; that's enough for me.
 * 9) * I also suggest: Expand the Starter event. Precisely due to what is said in BtS, the paragraph should include something like "; however, Starter's friends (or partners or whomever they were) did not believe him" or "Starter's credibility was scarce when he said that." Something to suggest that the reader should not take Starter's claims seriously.
 * 10) **Boosted it a little bit.
 * 11) * I am not an expert, but I understand there is some fan film called Tydirium, available at theforce.net and supposedly dealing with the theft of the shuttle. Is a fan film notable enough to be added to an (already crowded) BtS?
 * 12) **I don't think that we mention fan films in BTS's
 * 13) * That all. -Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:43, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 02:07, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 16) * The Battlefield Holographic Control Interface should probably be mentioned in the infobox and the Description.
 * 17) **It's not actually a part of the ship, just something they placed in the and operated from there.
 * 18) * Regarding the Mission on Prefsbelt IV, I've managed to play through that level without having to steal a TIE Fighter, and in the end, Y-wings escorted the shuttle. Because there are two versions of the heist, I think it would be better if you make the details of the event a little more vague.
 * 19) **Vagueified.
 * 20) *Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:27, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 02:07, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Katuunko

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 04:45, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:This took me way longer than it should have.

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total/INQCON 4)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 02:53, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:13, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:48, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Good, easy reading.  —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:32, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:30, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * I'm unsure if "Jedi negotiator" is the best choice for context for Yoda; it might be better to state that he was the Grand Master, because I don't believe a negotiator was his official title.
 * 3) **Changed.
 * 4) * The intro can be expanded a bit more, re: Katuunko's reaction to the events taking place on Rugosa.
 * 5) **Expanded a bit.
 * 6) * I don't believe it was specifically stated in Prelude that Katuunko was hesitant to join the Confederacy; this needs a different source.
 * 7) **Resourced.
 * 8) * "The Chancellor agreed; however, Katuunko was still unwilling to negotiate unless the Republic emissary was a member of the Jedi Order": a bit awkward wording, because it wasn't stated specifically that this was also a reason Katuunko did not originally wish to negotiate with the Republic; it seemed to be more of an added request.
 * 9) **Reworked.
 * 10) * "Interrupt" is a bit awkward word choice; yes, Ventress did indeed interrupt negotiations between Katuunko and the Republic, but I don't believe that it was her real purpose.
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * Why did Katuunko protest the contest?
 * 13) **Specified.
 * 14) * "Ventress received regular updates on the mission from her droid commander, OOM-224, while Master Yoda would periodically contact the King. Katuunko repeatedly debated with Ventress on the likelihood of Yoda's success, angering her until she eventually destroyed his communicator with her bare hand." These sentences overall is rather broadened instead of being centered to the specific events.
 * 15) **While I agree that it is vague, adding in specifically what Yoda and OOM-224 reported on would only add to the dialogue issue you point out in your next objection.
 * 16) * I'm noticing that the dialogue is just a bit excessive; try to see if you can cut it down a bit.
 * 17) **See above. And if this objection stands, can you point out exactly where?
 * 18) * Specifically when did Ventress break the terms of the competition?
 * 19) **Specified.
 * 20) ***I believe it was specifically when Ventress ordered the droidekas to reinforce the tanks; I added it in.  CC7567  (talk) 02:53, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) * Can it be stated earlier that Ventress was a Dark Acolyte?
 * 22) **In the intro and first section.
 * 23) * "as he wished to see a show of both force and faith from the Confederacy and Republic": "force and faith" are a bit awkward wording; also, it's unclear why he wanted to see faith, because he wasn't yet allied with the Republic or the Confederacy.
 * 24) **The faith part was in his databank entry, and unspecified. I've ommitted it for now.
 * 25) *Looks fine otherwise.  CC7567  (talk) 06:00, 18 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) **Thank you. :) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 02:38, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) Blacklist:
 * 28) * Now I would normally fix this, but I'd like you to familiarize yourself with proper quote templates. Please properly format the lead quote of the Negotiations on Rugosa section. If you need assistance (after trying on your own), I will help you.
 * 29) **Yeah I could use some help. I can do regular quotes and dialogues between two people but three or more confuses the crap out of me.
 * 30) * You mention nowhere in the article anything about the Toydarian royal delegation.
 * 31) **Its in there now.
 * 32) * No link for the ceremonial Toydarian sword? If not, the creation of a stub would suffice.
 * 33) **Got one.
 * 34) *Otherwise, good work. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:32, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **Thanks for the review! Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:14, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***Anytime. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:13, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to Enochf for properly formatting that quote. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:13, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Palleus Chuff

 * Nominated by:  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:20, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total/INQCON 2)
Support —Tommy9281  ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 21:58, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "The goal of this mission was to fool the galaxy into believing that the real Yoda was on the Ithorian homeworld, as Dooku emphasized discretion." What do you mean by "Dooku emphasized discretion"?
 * 3) **Expanded
 * 4) * "Unfortunately for Chuff..." Unfortunately is POV.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "At one point, the FIII Footman droid Solis contacted Ventress." A tad bit more context on Solis, since the way you introduce him at this point gives the feel of him being spoken of previously in the article, which isn't the case.
 * 7) **Expanded a bit.
 * 8) *** I still think a bit more context needs to be added. Who's attendant was Solis? I also don't like the "joined the mission to a later timepoint" bit. I think his position could be explained a little better, maybe briefly stating his reasons for taking interest in Ventress' mission. Briefly. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:28, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Should be better now.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:25, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *That's all. Not bad. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:14, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Tommy. Let me know if you're not yet satisfied with the article.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  14:49, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 13) *I think it's missing a word like "transaction" here: "after a business with the FIII Footman..."
 * 14) **Added
 * 15) *You use both "role-playing" and "roleplaying." Which is correct?
 * 16) **I was told that "role-playing" is a bit more usual, so I took this.
 * 17) *This sentence doesn't make much sense and feels completely out of place. "Dooku attached great importance that the upcoming peace talk stayed secret and that it would not be used as a strategical opportunity."
 * 18) **Removed, since it's not really related to his biography
 * 19) *"Arriving in the system, Ventress had already killed three of the four pilots." This makes it sound like she killed the pilots before arriving in the system. —Xwing328 (Talk) 05:09, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Rephrased. Thanks for the review, Xwing, and let me know if further work is needed.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  23:13, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Are there no applicable quotes? Not even a lead? —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:14, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Sorry that it took so long to answer, but I had some stress in real life lately. I was regurarly online, but didn't have enough time to recheck the book. However, I've done this as of now and found a better lead quote that I had missed during the GAN review. However, the other quotes do not really give an impression of the subject. Since I'm not a big fan of such simple quotes, I didn't add any of them. Let me know if that's not fine for you.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:26, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * That is actually a splendid quote. Good choice. And I agree with you about not choosing simple quotes just for the sake of having them. Well done. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:47, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Hylo Visz

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:27, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A rare non TCW nom from me.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total/INQCON 3)
Support
 * I think the article is very impressive. I would support it. // fodigg BlackRebelStarbird.png 14:25, 20 May 2009 (UTC)


 * 1) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 19:28, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice job. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:31, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:37, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Would it be possible to create a citation template similar to one of these for TOR? Since it's available on the web, it would then be possible to directly check the source and the same is already done for all the other official Star Wars websites.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  15:03, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *At the moment, I'm still unsure as to how we are treating these timelines, whether as reference material or as regular sources, like a novel or tv show. In addition, there's currently only two timelines, so an individual template seems unnecessary at this time. Once we decide how to treat these and more are released, this idea can be revisited. I have a feeling they'll be taken offline eventually as well, just like the Chronicles of the Old Republic. Plus, I haven't a clue how to make them. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 22:49, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fair enough.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  13:14, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Blacklist:
 * 5) * "As underprovided and under protected Republic worlds on the Outer Rim began to fall to the Sith, starvation ravaged the lower levels of the Republic's capital world of Coruscant." First of all this needs to be reworded, because "underprovided" isn't a word according to dictionary.com.
 * 6) **I separated under and provided.
 * 7) * Secondly, I believe the "lower levels of the Republic's capital world of Coruscant" is provided for. Please link accordingly.
 * 8) **Linked.
 * 9) * The character needs to be referred to by her surname; you call her "Hylo" way too much throughout the article.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "Visz and many other smugglers in small vessels and starfighters emerged from hyperspace and engaged the Mandalorian cruisers in a large space battle." Is there no link for this "large space battle"?
 * 12) **I was under the belief that the battle would be included in the blockade article, as it was the conclusion of that event, not two separate events.
 * 13) ***That's fine.
 * 14) *That's all. Not bad overall. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 13:52, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. :) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 18:22, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 17) * The rumor of her death should be mentioned in the intro.
 * 18) **Mentioned.
 * 19) * "She apparently retreated from her fame, and in the year following her departure, she supposedly double-crossed the Hutts, a move that resulted in her death." - her death was only a rumor; this should be made clear here.
 * 20) **Changed supposedly to rumoredly.
 * 21) ***That wasn't the issue: she supposedly double-crossed the Hutts, allegedly resulting in her death. You need to make it absolutely clear that she may have or may have not died as a result of doubling-crossing the Hutts, which she may have done. It's confusing, yes, but I'm confident that you'll find a good way to word it. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****K I think I got it. Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 20:28, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:31, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:03, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks for the review. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 18:50, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I do feel that there is some redundant summary of events in the various sections. It might improve the article to consolidate or parse down the summary. // fodigg BlackRebelStarbird.png 14:25, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:05, 20 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope it passes, nomed for FA per suggestion.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Battle of the Kaliida Nebula

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:22, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Second to last of TCW CloneProject Malevolence Crisis.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) Good job.  Mauser  Comlink  22:21, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I'll probably read the whole thing later but one thing I noticed in a brief glance: "General Kenobi. Did you really I would leave the hyperdrive unguarded?" A word is missing, I believe.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:24, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Whoops. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 21:08, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Mauser
 * 4) * Some context on Shadow Squadron.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * Are you sure that Sector Four you're talking about in the article is a Coruscant district?
 * 7) **I added another redlink; I'll create a stub for both that and the base soon.
 * 8) * The battle took place in the Prindaar system, right?
 * 9) **Not quite sure; I'm checking it right now and I'll get back to you.
 * 10) **The thing is that I'm not sure if information can be inferred. The battle took place near the dead moon of Antar, yes, and the moon was in the Prindaar system, but I'm unsure if we can assume that the nebula itself was in the Prindaar system. The battle was named because the medical station and the nebula were the closest landmarks, not necessarily the moon of Antar, although I'm beginning to change my mind. Do you think it should be moved to the Battle of Prindaar, or what? My concern is that the Prindaar system isn't mentioned anywhere in TCW media or sources&mdash;not in the episode, not in the guide, not in the CSWE (in relation to TCW), nada. The med center and the nebula were the only things ever mentioned as landmarks; the moon of Antar was included in that, as it was identified in the CSWE, but the battle really took place around the med center. (The medical station doesn't even have an official location, since it was moving all the time; it's only "close to Ryndellia and Naboo.")  CC7567  (talk) 22:00, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Well, since the battle ended at the dead moon of Antar, I suppose that Prindaar system should be mentioned at least as one of the two locations of the battle. And as the battle didn't take place in the nebula itself, I suggest you at least put the Template:Conjecture on top of the article.
 * 12) ****Okay, addressed. Let me know if it needs tweaking.  CC7567  (talk) 22:16, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Otherwise looks great.  Mauser  Comlink 20:36, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks.  CC7567  (talk) 21:08, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * c. 3,000 words. Prelude was too long in my opinion.  CC7567  (talk) 20:22, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Octa Ramis

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:55, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally finished! Will be sure to keep it updated for all future releases.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:02, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro time. FYI: I haven't read the bio after the YV war, as I haven't read those books yet.
 * 2) * The paragraph about Daeshara'cor looking for superweapons does not refer to Ramis, while giving too much context for something important for Daeshara'cor. How did Ramis helped Daeshara'cor? I see Daeshara'cor's motivations, but what's Ramis's? Is the Anakin Solo software stuff really important for Ramis? Or could it be simply "Anakin Solo and Mara Jade discovered Daeshara'cor's scheme and stopped her before she could do anything harmful"?
 * 3) **Basically, it's all background material. Ramis helps Daeshara'cor since they are friends (established in previous section) by using her skills to erase evidence of her superweapon search. So, therefore, the fact that Daeshara'cor was looking for superweapons becomes important and needs explanation. Also, the fact that Ramis's efforts were unsuccessful means that the existence of the computer program - and its relevance - need to be explained as well.
 * 4) * Daeshara'cor died during the battle of Ithor, but this is only related in a later section ("Holding back the night"); it should be mentioned under "The Defense of Ithor".
 * 5) **Normally, I would agree, but I couldn't find a way to put it into the relevant section without diverting from its flow. Placing it where it is currently seems like the best fit.
 * 6) * "Harried by coralskippers, her wingmen were killed as she secured the area around the corvette, aided by Quee activating a Yammosk-jammer to disrupt the Yuuzhan Vong's ability to coordinate their fighters." Grammatically confusing although correct. "aided by Quee" sounded like Quee aiding the wingmen to be killed. Proposal: "Harried by coralskippers, her wingmen were killed as she secured the area around the corvette. In this she was aided by Quee, who activated a Yammosk-jammer to disrupt the Yuuzhan Vong's ability to coordinate their fighters." And in fact, I'd rather describe the Yammosk-jammer functionality a little earlier, just after the link to Quee.
 * 7) **Done as per suggestion.
 * 8) * "Skywalker had assembled a group of Jedi—aided by Imperial support—to discover the location of the planet." The Imperial supported the group of Jedi during their mission? The Imperials aided Skywalker to assemble the group?
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * "Ramis was still on the planet when the Yuuzhan Vong moved against Mon Calamari." You mean on the planet Mon Calamari, not on Zonama Sekot, right? Could you please specify?
 * 11) **Specified.
 * 12) * "as the enemy withdrew from the engagement as they neared the planet of Mon Calamari itself." Two successive "as"'s (no pun intended). Could you replace one of them for something else? Also: Who's "they"?
 * 13) **Done, and done.
 * 14) * "The world featured strongly in their religion, and its sudden reappearance was seen as an omen of defeat. Conversely, the Shamed Ones, the lowest caste of Yuuzhan Vong society, saw the planet as a holy, sacred place, that was the key to their redemption. Its arrival triggered a rebellion on the planet." Again, the religion of whom? Is the 2nd line really relevant? A rebellion on Zonama Sekot or on Coruscant?
 * 15) **Again, the information is background material which I think is justified. Clarified on the other points.
 * 16) * The dogfight in living ships against the Vong mention "some" Jedi having difficulty to pilot, and others having a hard to to make the ships fire and so. Ramis belonged to which of those?
 * 17) **Its never specified which group she belonged to.
 * 18) * "by the suffering that her former instructors, Kam and Tionne Solusar suffered at". The suffering they suffered. Maybe replace suffering with affliction, anguish, distress, ordeal...?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Similarly: Powers and abilities. "Able" is used four times in seven lines. Maybe a synonym or two?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) *Great article. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:04, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Many thanks for the review. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 13:53, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) *Sorry if this sounds picky, Cav, but do you reckon you could standardise the paragraph size a little? If doing so detracts from the flow, don't bother, but they come in all shapes and sizes at the moment. Otherwise it looks great; I'll give it a read-through and a proper review soon. Also, regarding future releases, I hope she dies :P There are too many long-running Jedi Council members! -- —Harrar  ( Villip ) 16:18, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Tott Doneeta

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 10:26, 27 May 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: None.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 1)
Support

Object
 * 1) Alright, picked up on a few things.
 * 2) * "he was found by Jedi Master Arca Jeth and trained up as a Knight of the Old Republic." – "Trained up" is rather colloquial; either remove it or change it to something for clarification.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "In 4,000 BBY, Doneeta and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean "and the Qel-Droma brothers", or what?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "causing Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma, to subsequently infiltrate their ranks in an attempt to destroy the Krath from within" – I don’t believe Ulic is Doneeta's brother, no? If this is some sort of mutual agreement between the pair, this needs to be clarified; for someone like me who’s unfamiliar with this time period, it’s not clear at all.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Introduction – context on a "heat storm", and what him losing entailed for himself and his clan.
 * 9) **Addressed, though it didn't really mean much to the clan. Though not necessary, I can add a tad bit more if you still think it's required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * In the section entitled "Jedi Training", clarification regarding the slave ship; were they prisoners, or was this a ship they’d hijacked or what?
 * 11) **Doesn't say.
 * 12) * In the section entitled "War on Onderon": "Doneeta held position with the Beast Riders in their citadel for several day" – Somewhat colloquial, perhaps it could be reworded to something like "Doneeta and the Beast Riders held the citadel for several days"?
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Same section, "leaving the rescue of Master Jeth as the next order of business." – Order of business too is somewhat colloquial – I’d like to see that changed, please.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * In the section entitled "Beginnings of a crusade": "the peace for which they so desperately fought" – desperately’s POV.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Same section: "Doneeta revealed his findings at the same moment when Master Jeth" – Same moment as when, perhaps?
 * 19) **Addressed.
 * 20) * Same section: "and the brothers Qel-Droma" – Reword.
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Same section: "When Exar Kun, a Knight claiming affiliation with the "School of Jedi Archaeology", did arrive," – More context on Exar Kun. A Jedi Knight, or what?
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) * In the section entitled "Trouble on Deneba": - "the Jedi were also brought up short" – Another colloquial phrase.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Same section: "Doneeta held position with several of his companions," – colloquial again. "Held position" is the specific.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) *So far, I’ve got only down to the "Efforts redoubled" section. I’ll continue my review later today. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  10:04, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Keep'em comin. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:31, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) Second look.
 * 31) * In the section entitled "Efforts redoubled": "The suggestion then arose amongst the Jedi that they should instead fly their trustworthy S-100 Stinger fighters" - Trustworthy's rather POVish. Perhaps you could have "which had been proven to be reliable before" or something instead?
 * 32) **Addressed.
 * 33) * Same section: "easily dispatching" - easily's POV. Quickly or something, perhaps?
 * 34) **Addressed.
 * 35) * "and fended off the Krath's forces" - Shouldn't that be Krath? I would have corrected it, but I don't know enough of the subject matter to be sure.
 * 36) **Addressed.
 * 37) * Same section: "Unbeknownst to Doneeta and the rest of the Jedi, fallen Jedi Exar Kun, whom they had previously encountered on Onderon, was also present in Cinnagar, with his own intentions of destroying the Krath as well, for he saw them as an obstacle to his own progression in dark side power." - Run on.
 * 38) **Addressed.
 * 39) * In the section entitled "Final offensive": "As the Twi'lek worked to preserve all that he could, both Ulic Qel-Droma and and Exar Kun arrived on Ossus, and Doneeta was with Cay when Ulic touched down nearby." - Reword.
 * 40) **Addressed.
 * 41) * Same section: "Exar Kun tapped into Sith lore more arcane than even he understood and gathered all his Massassi slaves in his temple." - Context on Masassi.
 * 42) **Addressed.
 * 43) * "However, the combined Force power of nearly all the Jedi was too much for Kun to combat, and while his spirit was freed by Sith arts, it was indeed trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi, forever within the walls of his temple." - Run on.
 * 44) **Addressed.
 * 45) * In the section entitled "Homecoming": "Tott Doneeta had relocated to his own homeworld to help his Twi'lek brethren seek shelter from incineration by a feared Ryloth heat storm." - Context on heat storm in bio.
 * 46) **Addressed.
 * 47) * "did the unthinkable" - POV.
 * 48) **Addressed.
 * 49) * "the mischievous teen" - Mischievous is POV. Try misbehaving or something.
 * 50) **Addressed.
 * 51) * In the section entitled "Journey to Ryloth", "Towards the convocation's end, Tott Doneeta encountered another of his old friends, the Cathar Jedi Knight Sylvar, who still harbored much hatred for Ulic Qel-Droma, whom she considered a criminal that had escaped atonement for the crimes he committed during the Sith War." is a big run on.
 * 52) **Addressed.
 * 53) * In the section entitled "Lost cause", "The Twi'lek felt that Sylvar, who sulked throughout the entire event, should have shown more gratitude for the pride the Cathar had taken in her, but to no avail; all she wanted was isolation, and pageants, she felt, were a far cry from her desired solitude." is a long run on.
 * 54) **Addressed.
 * 55) * "Undaunted by the Cathar Jedi's impressive speed" - Impressive is POV.
 * 56) **Addressed.
 * 57) * Image caption in the P&T reads: "Tott Doneeta, along with his Jedi Master and brothers, in celebration." - I don't like this use of brother in a non-biological sense.
 * 58) **Addressed.
 * 59) * "revenge like his Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma" same point.
 * 60) **Addressed.
 * 61) * "Upon realization of Qel-Droma's corruption, the Twi’lek initially believed that his friend could be rescued and redeemed, but after he accepted the fact that Qel-Droma had willingly succumbed to the wiles of the Krath, Doneeta’s duty as a Jedi superseded his devotion to his friend, for whom he still cared deeply" Run on.
 * 62) **Addressed.
 * 63) * "who had never been convicted for his war crimes during his time as a Sith Lord." - Of his accused war crimes would work better, or something similar.
 * 64) **Addressed.
 * 65) * I don't like the "TOTJ" abbreviation in the BtS. I don't think it's much trouble to put it in full, which would be much preferable.
 * 66) *That's probably most of what there is; good work, Tommy. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:07, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) **Much fun sparring with youu, Tom. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:10, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Cylka:
 * 69) * You should add that he was born Tottdon'eeta in the article proper.
 * 70) **Addressed.
 * 71) * Doneeta was later present on the library world of Ossus when the Sith Brotherhood caused a supernova that threatened to devastate the planet, where he gathered many priceless Jedi artifacts and assisted in the evacuation proceedings. - The last part of this sentence reads somewhat awkwardly. You might want to shuffle it around a bit.
 * 72) **How's that?
 * 73) * The Sith were ultimately defeated by the Jedi, and Qel-Droma led Doneeta and his companions to Kun's stronghold on Yavin 4, where the Twi'lek joined the collective Jedi effort that resulted in Yavin 4's surface destruction and the defeat of Exar Kun. - Two things here: I would add in something about Ulic having renounced his Sith allegiance and make it more clear that the defeat of Kun caused the devastation of the planet. As it reads now, it seems as though the Jedi destroyed the surface intentionally just to defeat Kun.
 * 74) **Addressed, and addressed.
 * 75) * When he finally recognized where her hate was leading her, Doneeta left his old friend in the deserts of Cathar to contemplate whether she would give into the dark side—or not. - I would reword this sentence to make it a bit more clear that Sylvar's hate was leading her towards the dark side. Also being the last sentence of the intro, I feel that it should focus more on Doneeta than Sylvar.
 * 76) **Is this better?
 * 77) * Momentarily shaken by the queen's stifling power, Doneeta carried out his mission and remained on the Ranger with Galia - What was his mission? To protect Galia or was it something else?
 * 78) **Addressed.
 * 79) * The Twi'lek arrived on Thon's world of Ambria and was presented with the Vultan Jedi Oss Wilum. - Why was he presented with Wilum? Was this the aid that Thon was going to give or something else?
 * 80) **Addressed.
 * 81) * beyond their capabilities of fighting in their current state - What was their current state? It isn't all that clear as to how they were hampered.
 * 82) **Addressed.
 * 83) * he Jedi's guidance to the Onderonians helped bring about the peace for which they fought - Who was fighting for peace? The Jedi? If so, please make it a bit more clear.
 * 84) **Addressed.
 * 85) * During the gathering, Doneeta's Jedi brother, Ulic Qel-Droma I'm not really sure that you should use the label Jedi brother in this instance since it may be a bit confusing in regards to Cay and Ulic.
 * 86) **That one slipped through the Darth Tom radar. Addressed.
 * 87) * Escape pods rained down to Deneba's surface, unleashing Krath-designed war droids that proceeded to fire upon the congregation, while the servant droids that were planetside and assisting with the convocation received a change in programming that ordered them to attack their Jedi owners, focusing on the most powerful of those present. - This sentence is a bit long.
 * 88) **Addressed.
 * 89) * Tott Doneeta, Ulic's brother Cay, and his lover, Nomi Sunrider, were dispatched - In this instance, it is a bit unclear as to whose lover Nomi is
 * 90) **Removed that bit. Addressed
 * 91) * The Sith Lord was then scheduled to stand trial, where he would most assuredly be condemned to death. - Is this stated in the source, or is it speculative? Please clarify.
 * 92) **Yes. The Supreme Chancellor said, And you will be sentenced to death. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed )`
 * OK, this is my review so far. I'll pick it up a bit later. So far, it is really interesting, Tommy. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 08:18, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Cylka, cont'd:
 * 2) *Jedi Master Thon believed that the Sith planned to once again attack the jump station in jest. - I believe that I know what you mean here, but could you state it a bit more clearly?
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) *Though successful in releasing his spirit, it was forever trapped on Yavin 4 by the talents of the Jedi within the walls of his temple. - This statement seems to say that the Jedi within the walls of the temple were responsible. Please clarify.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *In the heat storm article it states that Doneeta wanted to help the clan as they were wandering in search of a new home, that is why they were unprotected. I'm not sure if this is correct, but if it is, I think that it would give a bit more clarification as to why he relocated to help with what was a normal occurrence.
 * 7) **Should be good now.
 * 8) *Doneeta sensed the bitterness within her, and though she embraced it - Is this supposed to mean that she reined it in or reveled in it?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *After the liberation of Onderon, Doneeta was among the Jedi who received instruction in taming and flying the drexl war mounts of the Beast Riders. - This statement seems to contradict the earlier stated While his comrades spent time learning to fly the Beast Riders' warmounts, Doneeta's time revolved around cataloging items.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *That's the end, Tommy. It was an enjoyable read. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:03, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks, Cylka. I'm glad you enjoyed. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 14:25, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Slick (clone)

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 21:06, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He's such an intriguing character that I decided to take a break from battles. :P

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) ShaakTi1138 07:48, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 06:27, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:23, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Very good sir. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:41, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I'll go through with a more in-depth review in a bit but something I noticed right off the bat was that starting with "During the Clone Wars, a clone trooper in the Grand Army of the Republic took the nickname of Slick." sounds very story-ish. Change to something more like "Slick was a clone trooper (or the nickname of a clone trooper) of the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars.." It sounds more encyclopedic.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:59, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, okay. I got it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:01, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Hello there.
 * 2) * In the infobox, is all that 'trivia' required (referring to his sub-affiliations)? I personally like it and I'm all for it, but unfortunately stuff like that is further explored in the article rather than the infobox since it sorta clogs it up, and I've never seen it on other FAs, namely Appo (501st Legion not listed) and Bly (327th Star Corps not listed). It doesn't bother me, but I am just unfamiliar with the 'preferences' here for FAs. Don't know if it's been discussed or what on the IRC and such. And on that note, shouldn't "Formerly" be lowercase?
 * 3) **I've taken care of both for now; yes, it's somewhat of a preference.
 * 4) *In the introduction...
 * 5) ** "Slick was a nickname of a clone trooper sergeant in the Grand Army of the Republic." Shouldn't it be "Slick was the nickname of a clone..."? He doesn't have more nicknames, does he? We're specifically told he's known as Slick and Slick only.
 * 6) ***Whoops, addressed.
 * 7) ** "He began to develop a hatred for his Jedi commanding officers, believing that he and his fellow clone brothers were acting as their puppets." Second sentence, sort of flies out of nowhere. Where's the context on this?
 * 8) ***I don't understand what you mean; I feel that it's clear how it is right now. I've edited it a little, but please clarify what you mean by this. There isn't "context" for it, as it was only mentioned; there weren't specific situations given that molded his views on this.
 * 9) ****Yeah, that was my bad, I misread the sentence. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:55, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ** As far as I know, "Clone Captain" and "Clone Commander" shouldn't be capitalized. Or am I wrong here?
 * 11) ***They're capitalized because it's supposed to be "Commander CC-2224" and "Captain CC-7567"; the capitalization is part of their addressed ranks.  CC7567  (talk) 07:16, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *More later. I rather know how I'm doing so far before I continue trying to review. –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 06:17, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) Darth Trayus again.
 * 14) *Intro:
 * 15) ** You begin describing the conflict between the Republic and the Confederacy without actually naming it.
 * 16) ***Oops, got that.
 * 17) ** I would cut out the bolded Republic in "..betrayed the Galactic Republic and began to pass inside Republic information to the Dark Acolyte Asajj Ventress...". Its a redundancy and overuse of the word.
 * 18) ***Addressed.
 * 19) ** A lot of the second paragraph is a little foggy. For instance, when you say the Jedi went in search of information, what Jedi are you talking about? What information are they looking for?
 * 20) ***Addressed.
 * 21) ** You also say "In the clone's preceding investigation...". Is preceding the word you meant to use? The investagation came before what?
 * 22) ***Blarg. Addressed.
 * 23) ** I would include maybe one sentence on the investegation itself, like the interrogations in his barracks.
 * 24) ***Addressed.
 * 25) *Bio:
 * 26) ** Was it ever confirmed that Slick was payed credits? I thought he only ever said she offered him money, but what really mattered was his freedom.
 * 27) ***It's heavily implied; yes, he only said that she offered credits to him, but he also said that she offered him freedom. Since he obviously got his "freedom", I believe it can be inferred.
 * 28) ****I'll agree with you on that.
 * 29) ** This is kind of a literary aesthetics issue, but I would encourage some more chronological modifiers when beginning new sentences, like when, while, later, as a result of.... For instance when you say "However, this tactic put Rex and Cody on the lead that the traitor was one of the clones themselves. Slick reported the Jedi's mission to Ventress, and the Dark Acolyte planned to confront them at the Confederacy's base.", the second sentence doesn't seem to connect with the first in any way. This might be a little picky but its just something I noticed while reading through.
 * 30) ***Addressed.
 * 31) ** Same goes for the whole first paragraph in "Turncoat revealed". There's no indication as to when that event takes place in relation to other events.
 * 32) ***Addressed.
 * 33) ** Was the act of stringing together the droid fingers forbidden? Or was it the taking of the fingers?
 * 34) ***Whoops, addressed.
 * 35) ** How did Slick reveal he knew about the Jedi's mission?
 * 36) ***Addressed.
 * 37) ** "The clone traitor activated thermal detonators, destroying the gunships and AT-TE walkers on the landing platform as well as the weapons depot." Again, when did he do this? Immediatly, or a while later? Was it just at a random moment or was it while Rex and Cody were on the platform?
 * 38) ***Addressed.
 * 39) ** The use of "lashed out" is unclear. Was he just yelling at him or fighting him? All "lashed out" implies is aggression.
 * 40) ***Addressed.
 * 41) ****There's still a second "lashed out" at the bottom of that paragraph.
 * 42) *****Blarg, targeted and destroyed.  CC7567  (talk) 05:50, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ** He attempted to undermine the Jedi by stating his reasoning? I'm not sure that makes sense. Undermine means "to injure or destroy by insidious activity or imperceptible stages, sometimes tending toward a sudden dramatic effect." Rewording may be in order.
 * 44) ***Addressed.
 * 45) ** Overall,I would also be more consistent with your use of Rex and Cody's nicknames and formal designations in those last two paragraphs in the bio.
 * 46) ***Eh...I'm just going with nicknames there.
 * 47) *P&T:
 * 48) ** "However, while Slick took action in the face of his clone brothers, he put forth his own pursuits of greater deeds, unaware of the danger that he imposed to his fellow clone troopers." Um..what? It might just be me but I think this sentence needs to either be specified or reworded.
 * 49) ***Addressed, hopefully.
 * 50) ** Talking about his ruthlessness as evidenced by his willingness to strike at Rex and Cody's head isn't the best idea. Cody punched him right in the face there at the end, and I don't think anyone would catagorize that as a ruthless action.
 * 51) ***Addressed.
 * 52) *The rest looks good to me. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:05, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) **Thanks for the review, Trayus.  CC7567  (talk) 05:25, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) ***Thanks for addressing it so promptly :) Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 05:47, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) Small thing for you:
 * 56) * You alternate calling Cody and Rex by the nicknames and by their designations. I'd just pick one and stick with it. I'd recommend just using the nicknames.
 * 57) **Eh, per Imp's comments below, I'm not sure whether to try and alternate or stick with the nicknames. Using only nicknames may be better in some respects for consistency, but it ignores the CT. I'll talk to you on IRC when I get the chance. I agree with you that consistency would be better, and I'm willing to change it, I just want to clarify what to do, per the result of said CT.  CC7567  (talk) 21:10, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) *Good work otherwise.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:38, 17 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm having a difficult time recalling a source that had Dave Filoni saying, "Rex is different from Cody, who is different from a clone I can't tell you about" or something like that. I'm not sure if Filoni meant Slick, and even though it might be rather speculative, I'm trying to find the source. If you have any leads, please let me know.  CC7567  (talk) 21:06, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Oh, and I hope you like P&Ts.  CC7567  (talk) 21:06, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Shouldn't Cody be referred to by his designation rather than his nickname? It seems to be the encyclopedic route to take. --Imperialles 21:11, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Discussed in IRC and taken care of.  CC7567  (talk) 21:47, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Koro Ziil

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 22:05, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Going for my second FA nom

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) How couldn't I? :p Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:44, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:09, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:32, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * Work his "hu'aac-du'ul-staranjan" title into the biography, probably where he becomes the Hidden One.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * I think it's long enough that you could justify having an image or two to break it up. Something like this with a suitably neutral caption would work. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:01, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Added, feel free to change positioning/caption as you see fit. Thanks for the review :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:18, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Blacklist:
 * 7) * I thought that the Hidden Ones were dedicated to preserving not just Baran Do traditions, but also those of the entire Kel Dor race. Am I wrong?
 * 8) **I checked Outcast, and there aren't any mentions of the preservation of "Kel Dor" traditions, just Baran Do.
 * 9) * "Ziil also trained with Solo in combat." What kind of combat? Force combat? Melee combat? Please specify.
 * 10) **This also isn't really specified. I would assume Force-combat, but several Baran Do also dueled with staffs, and there is a possibility that they did this as well. As it stands, putting either/both of the above down would be a little too speculative.
 * 11) * "...Solo went on to find the Dark Lady of the Sith Lumiya and became the Sith Lord Darth Caedus, leading the Galactic Alliance in the Second Galactic Civil War." If I remember correctly, Lumiya found Jacen, not the other way around. I would reword anyway, to state that he was trained by Lumiya to become a Sith Lord rather than one finding the other.
 * 12) **Addressed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:03, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * More later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:38, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * I'd also add a decent image of Luke, soewhere in either the "Unrest in the Hidden Ones" or the "Duel with Luke".
 * 15) **I added an image of him as Grand Master. Feel free to change it if you wish.
 * 16) * "Eventually, Skywalker proposed a duel between Ben and Saal&mdash;the best fighter of the Hidden Ones, and by far Ben's superior in combat. In order to get the Hidden One to accept the duel, he promised that if Ben lost, he and Ben would accept their fate and stay in the caverns. The Hidden One agreed to the proposal, and Saal and Ben were each armed with a hardwood staff. They dueled, with Ben emerging as the victor." This reads like it can be from anyone of the participating characters' bios. Please rework so that it is told from the Ziil's perspective.
 * 17) **I tried to reword it some. Better?
 * 18) ***Yes, good work. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "Ziil attacked the Jedi Master," Correct me if I'm wrong, but something happened after the canister incident to provoke Ziil into attacking, no? If I'm wrong, then pardon me, but as it is, it reads like Ziil just felt like flexing on Luke.
 * 20) **Nothing more happened to anger Ziil other than the Hidden Ones speaking out in protest.
 * 21) * The third paragraph of "Duel with Luke" is far too play-by-play.
 * 22) **Better?
 * 23) ***I'll take it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * The first paragraph of "Dissolution of the Hidden Ones" is far too colloquial.
 * 25) **I tried to reword this some. Let me know if I need to do more.
 * 26) ***No worries, I took care of it. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * Format the P&T quote correctly. Normally I'd fix this, but you're getting more and more used to the FAN process, and these little mistakes are things you should be picking up on.
 * 28) **I was of the understanding that it could be done either way, but I changed it.
 * 29) ***When it is a two person, one line apiece quote, the way you changed it to is the correct format. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) *Otherwise, not bad. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:46, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **Thanks for the review, Tommy :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:33, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Anytime, Jon. I haven't read Outcast in a while, so please forgive me for thinking I remembered stuff that wasn't actually there;) —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 00:59, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****No problem, thanks again. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:13, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) Cylka:
 * 35) *In the last paragraph of Duel with Skywalker, you refer to Ziil only as the Hidden One, which is inconsistent with the rest of the article. I believe that this would be better off if it was changed.
 * 36) **Changed.
 * 37) *Also, in the Duel with Skywalker section, I think that you shouldn't always use only Skywalker when speaking of Luke -- in order to keep it tidy. You could use first names or even the elder Skywalker.
 * 38) **Changed a few of them.
 * 39) *Luke later speculated that Ziil would either find a new way to continue his old goal - What was his goal? Only the preservation of knowledge or something more? This is a bit unclear to me.
 * 40) **Specified.
 * 41) *Is it significant that the Force lightening was white? I really don't have anything against leaving it in, but I am curious as to why it is included.
 * 42) **I don't know, probably not very significant; I guess I put it in because it's a rarity. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 13:14, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) *Good work, Jon. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 09:21, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Thanks for the review, Cylka :). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 13:14, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Mission to Skytop Station

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another TCW story arc lays siege to the FAN page! Technically the finale of CloneProject Droid Retrieval, but had to work backward without current possession of Wild Space.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 19:49, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Nice article, although a bit too play-by-play. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * Great Work again CC7567! Xd1358 14:38, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:21, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 18:54, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Since I was the one who worked on Denal, here's an objection related to him. How do we know that he is a sergeant? Nothing in the episode establishes that, and the episode guide calls him just Trooper Denal. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Oops. I just checked the sources, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe it was an established fact that he held any rank by the time of the episode.  CC7567  (talk) 19:00, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Small thing for ya:
 * 3) * "The mission featured the series' introduction of the Confederate listening post Skytop Station, previously introduced in The Clone Wars web comic Prelude." I'm assuming you're saying that it was introduced in the TV series, although this is a touch confusing. You state that it was introduced in the series, and then say that it had already been introduced. I get it, but it is a little bit confusing. If you change this around somehow, that'd be great. Good work, though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:39, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Addressed, and thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 20:40, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Orto Plutonia

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 23:11, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At 2,505 words&mdash;This is one very important TCW article

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object > JangFett  Talk 20:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:41, 18 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:26, 18 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 23:56, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Preliminaries
 * 2) *Before I scrutinize it:
 * 3) * "Crucial conflict" is too POV-oriented. It's not our place to determine what is important and what isn't. Yes, you can argue that many others are "crucial", but it's just not definable.
 * 4) **Addressed
 * 5) *The intro is too disproportionate to the article. Please cut it down.
 * 6) **Addressed per IRC review
 * 7) * In this case, there is no reason for links to be in quote text because the items are already linked elsewhere in the article.
 * 8) **Addressed
 * 9) * The Bts includes too much trivia unrelated to the battle.
 * 10) **Addressed
 * 11) * It's "Freeco" bike, not "Fresco" bike.
 * 12) **Addressed
 * 13) * "Talz scribe" isn't a rank of warrior; I don't see why that's in there.
 * 14) **Addressed
 * 15) *Not all the information you referenced to the episode itself is legitimate. The episode didn't state thirty-seven Talz were killed, and the date, Medcha Wanto's name, the 501st Legion and Torrent Company weren't mentioned in the episode either. Please check your sources.
 * 16) **Addressed
 * 17) *The prelude needs to be written from a more general point of view. It's currently centered around the Republic, as you state that the Talz's activity was "unknown to the Republic" without stating the Talz's reasons. Please just try to state what happened instead of writing it this way. What were the Talz's reasons for attack? Part of writing from a neutral POV is inferring and correctly placing events in chronology so that there aren't any "surprises".
 * 18) **Addressd and added why the Talz attacked Glid Station, as well as other issues I saw. If there is still more, I might need some specifics. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *There are several issues of present tense, and there's still a lot of unnecessary dialogue. As I've already asked you to cover this for your Duel on Mustafar nom, please go through the article and check for these again.
 * 2) **Addressed. For the dialogue, the only major issue was in the prelude. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) * CC7567  (talk) 23:58, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *If you're going to state in the Bts that the battle was a major one, please give a different reason rather than an amount of characters introduced. Introducing two characters isn't officially definable as "major"; the Battle of Christophsis introduced a multitude of clones, the Battle of Ryloth introduced even more characters, and so on. It's not clear why the battle was "major".  CC7567  (talk) 19:02, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Not specifically a major one, addressed. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Trayus
 * 2) * I would remove "draw" from the outcome. To say there was a peaceful resolution is sufficient. Draw sounds more like a game and less like an encyclopedic acount of a battle.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * Like CC said above, cut down the intro. Out of the 12 paragraphs in the article, a fourth of them are dedicated to the intro.
 * 5) **You addressed this objection a little to late. Has already been reviewed via IRC #TCW.
 * 6) *You're lacking any sort of information from The Clone Wars: Cold Snap.
 * 7) **Addressed <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) ***That doesn't mean including a summary of the entire comic. Shiv, Mag and Flanker don't even need to be named; all that needs to be said was that a squad of troopers were testing gear at Glid Station, but that it was attacked by the Talz, and the lack of contact led the Jedi to investigate.  CC7567  (talk) 20:37, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ****Ok, addressed.
 * 3) * Stuff like "The battle introduced the CK-6 swoop, also known as "Freeco Swoops". BARC speeders would reappear and play a major role for the Republic during the battle as well. The Narglatch were introduced in the episode and were used by the Talz as their main transportation during the battle." doesn't belong on the BTS. its already in the body that they used Freecos, BARCs, and Narglatches.
 * 4) **Addressed
 * 5) * Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 23:23, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) While reverting an edit on this I noticed quite a few tense issues, please read through and check your work for these.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 08:51, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *Went back and corrected few errors with "is", changed to "was". <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Comments

Battle of Bothawui (Clone Wars)

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 00:46, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The last of the horrendous CloneProject named Droid Retrieval. Again, the prelude is personally longer than my liking.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1) ShaakTi1138 07:45, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * 1) I'll review in depth later, but just as a suggestion: If you want to cut down your prelude, you could remove a header and a quote and combine the two sections, as there's only two somewhat small paragraphs in each. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:57, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I considered it and took your suggestion; it looks a bit better. (And shorter. :P)  CC7567  (talk) 20:39, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Sheeka Tull

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:47, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A natural compliment to Greyman's Alpha-98.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total/INQCON 1)
Support > JangFett  Talk 17:39, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 04:02, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) That...woman.  CC7567  (talk) 03:36, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 00:55, 9 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 17:39, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 Cents
 * 2) * The intro seems too long and thoroughly has more detail.
 * 3) * Could use a image in 1.2
 * 4) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **Intro has been shrunk some; if that's not enough, I'll need some specifics. Not to be rude or anything, I disagree with the image objection&mdash;there are no pictures of Sheeka or Ord Cestus or anything of enough significance to the subject of the article to merit an objection. The Clone Wars, Kenobi, and Fisto don't have enough relationship to the subject, IMO, and it'd be pointless just to add an image of them. Unless you have a specific image in mind, I'm not inclined to toss an image into the article simply for the sake of having more extraneous graphics. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:26, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***I do too with the image objection after another look at the article. Intro looks better as well :) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) It eludes my mind, but was it clear whether Spindragon was named when Tull received it, or did she name it herself? Reason I'm asking is because the sentence "At some point, she obtained her own ship, a YT-1200 suborbital freighter, Spindragon" is rather choppy. You might want to add "named" in place of that last comma, but it has to be worded with factual correctness.  CC7567  (talk) 22:43, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *No canonical answer either way. I think I've reworded it vaguely enough so that it could be interpreted as either her naming or it being pre-named. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:23, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Is her husband's name Vander or Yander? --Eyrezer 09:10, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Lol, definitely Yander. I have no idea how that typo slipped in. Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 03:12, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Couldn't she stand to be outdone by her sister? :P I claim this as a guest contribution for Project:Atrivis! --Eyrezer 11:52, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Sure, whatever floats your boat. ;-) Atarumaster88  Jedi_Order.svg ( Talk page ) 15:26, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

Vril Vrakth

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 16:30, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: a Zabrak bounty hunter

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Mission to Rugosa

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:21, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Fresh as can be from the GAN.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Senate hostage crisis

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:21, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Also crisp 'n clean. (Hopefully.) Probably won't cause too much of a stir.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments

Chase Piru

 * Nominated by: –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 00:49, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first "anything" nomination here on Wookieepedia. Been wanting to do this for sometime but didn't get off my lazy butt til now. Enjoy!

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total/INQCON 0)
Support

Object

Comments
 * 1) Anyone? –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 03:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Nala Se

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:34, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Decoded's giraffe woman. For TCW.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support
 * 1) After a couple of very minor edits. Good work here. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:38, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Chack Attack:
 * 2) *"Around 22 BBY, General Grievous and the Confederate superweapon Malevolence were directed..." Bit of awkward working here.
 * 3) *"Se served the Republic as the administrator of the Kaliida Shoals Medical Center. After the Kaliida Shoals was purchased by the Republic at the beginning of the war..." Did she serve it before it was purchased? If not, change this, because that's the impression it gives and it's a bit confusing.
 * 4) *"leaving them vulnerable to the hundreds of turbolaser batteries on the ship's hull. After the Battle of Ryndellia..." Awkward transition.
 * 5) *"curious demeanor for a Jedi."Why was is it so curious? Or is this not elaborated on?
 * 6) *Is the unidentified clone medic aide that you link to at one point the same one she's addressing in the quotes? If so, I think you should refer to him as "Se's aide" or something in quote descriptions.
 * 7) *That's all I got.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:51, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to CC for help and early review. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 01:34, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

Defender (Venator-class)

 * Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 04:14, 14 June 09 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Bringing it up from GA status.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total/INQCON 0)
Support
 * 1)  Skypopper (HoloNet Transmission) 16:09, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Executor

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: At the risk of turning this into a cliched acceptance speech blurb, the completion of this article is really a testament to the spirit of community Wookieepedia fosters here. If you're reading this, odds are good that you're one of the many people who helped me in some immeasurable way at some point throughout of putting this article together, be it helping me look up up sources, telling me what I was missing, helping me get images, or just letting me bounce ideas off you, and you know who you are. And I thank you.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total/INQCON 1)
Support > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) Well done, Toprawa. A very interesting read. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 14:32, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Object > JangFett  Talk 20:23, 16 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 20:36, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) *Let me say that this article is extremely well-put together. The only issue I saw was the images near the bottom of the article don't follow the style of left to right.
 * 3) * "Kendal Ozzel" and "Firmus Piett" and other "Admiralty line of succession" images are aligned at the left. Though it looks good, and I think you were going for that look&mdash;would it be best if it does follow that left to right image placing?
 * 4) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) **The left-right alternating thing is a guideline, not a rule, and where this article doesn't alternate, it's for good reason. Indeed, the admiralty section is done like that to give it the "profile" look, and there's nothing wrong with that. And the size of the BTS subsections doesn't afford alternating throughout. With all due respect, we're going to have a long time going if this nomination is peppered with mundane, nitpicky objections like this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:34, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ***No problems Tope. Again, excellent job on the article :) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner, part one:
 * 2) * Intro: "...the Executor, at a monumental 19,000 meters long..." - something about the wording just doesn't seem right. Perhaps "in length" rather than "long" would work better.
 * 3) **I agree that "in length" sounds better, and I have changed the introduction wording to that. The reason I had it worded like that is because I didn't want it to read verbatim to what is repeated in the Description section below, which also used the "in length" wording. So, I have moved the "long" wording to the body.
 * 4) * "The Executor's admiralty immediately passed to Firmus Piett" - some context on Piett, please (what was he before becoming admiral; you know the drill).
 * 5) **Added "Captain" Firmus Piett.
 * 6) * Design: "including the dual geodesic KDY ISD-72x deflector shield generator domes—an enlarged version specially developed from those aboard Imperial-class Star Destroyers—which doubled as communications sensor globes, the officers' quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods for the Executor's upper-echelon commanders, and, most importantly, the bridge." - the comma usage seems to indicate that the shield generator domes doubled as sensors, officer quarters, briefing rooms, escape pods, and the bridge. While it's obvious that that is not the case, this needs to be fixed somehow, but I'm not sure what to do with it.
 * 7) **Yes, good catch. I've added semicolons and a minor wording tweak to try and clear that up. I can still do a little more if you feel it needs it.
 * 8) * Design origins: Perhaps you should list some of the incorrect stats that the Imperial Senate reported (the important one being length, maybe number of weapons, etc.).
 * 9) **The source that mentions that does not specify what the incorrectly-stated stats were. It's obviously meant to retcon the length size and weapons inconsistencies across sources, but again, nothing specific is mentioned.
 * 10) * Manufacturing contract: Lusankya should be linked to when discussing the sister ship.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Starkiller's base of operations: "Having learned of Vader's treachery of taking on an apprentice of his own, the Emperor, watching on via hologram, ordered the Dark Lord to kill the apprentice or be killed himself." - aside from the grammatical error (on via), wasn't Palpatine actually there? If I recall correctly, he enters through the bridge doors and then watched Vader throw Starkiller around before turning to leave.
 * 13) **You've caught one of the novel-vs.-video game inconsistencies. From the novel: "PROXY, standing slightly behind their dark Master, transformed by sinister stages into the Emperor, hooded and enshrouded in shadow." I adjusted the sentence a little bit to specify PROXY's involvement, and note that the sentence is also sourced to the novel. The video game seems to imply that the Emperor comes aboard himself, but I guess with a little retconning imagination, you can say that he transformed into PROXY off camera. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:48, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Part two coming soon. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:40, 16 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) The Moffship, part two:
 * 16) * Imperial admirals' plot to sabotage the Executor project: The caption "Installation of the Executor's massive engines" is a bit misleading, given the fact that the Executor had had her engines installed for over three years prior to this time. Does the comic specifically depict/say that the engines were being installed at that point in time?
 * 17) **I absolutely understand what you're saying, but you've again hit on one of the major TFU inconsistencies. It has engines in TFU, and then two years later at Fondor it's shown without engines without any kind of explanation. I don't know how else to explain what is happening in that picture besides engines installation. FWIW, the BTS does discuss this as much as possible. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:40, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *And now I'm up to "Ambushing the Rebel Fleet." I'll continue with my review when I get a chance. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:24, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) Moffship, part three:
 * 20) * Search for the Millennium Falcon: "They included the notorious Boba Fett, who had already been in the Hoth system and had boarded the Executor after responding to an Imperial hyperspace message issued even before the Executor's Hoth arrival that announced a crushing defeat of the Rebel headquarters and a large reward for hunting down Rebels fleeing from the battle" - this is a bit unwieldy, especially when compared to the brief descriptions of the other bounty hunters. Could you shorten it?
 * 21) **Shortened up. If the description is still a bit generous, let me know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * Chasing Luke Skywalker at Kothlis: "...although Vader had received confirmation that the Millennium Falcon had indeed been the source of the Force signature, and therefore Skywalker." - I think something's missing here.
 * 23) **Reworded for clarity. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) * Endor aftermath: Specifically, the info from A Day in the Life. Heir to the Empire reports that the Executor disintegrated upon its collision with the Death Star - a fact mentioned in the Executor entry in the CSWE. So even though the Wister entry makes reference to the remains of the Executor, I still think that the story is non-canon - after all, doesn't the CSWE include entries for other characters who are known to be non-canon?
 * 25) **Not that I know of. I think you might be referring to CSWE making an effort to canonize the Tag & Bink stories as IU tall tales. It's completely contradictory, no doubt, but CSWE does mention the Executor on Endor from the story, and the character bios from the story are both definitely canon entries. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ***I'll talk to you about this in IRC sometime today. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "At some point prior to Endor, the Executor and Death Squadron led an attack on an artificially-ringed planet, before an AT-AT assault force was dispatched to the planet's surface. An artist chose to use the Executor's orbital bombardment of the ringed planet to create an illustration of the scene, entitled Executor Executes." - any particular reason why you include this under "Endor aftermath?" It'd probably fit better at the end of "Destruction of Falleen's Fist."
 * 28) **The reason I have it included where it is is because I have tried categorizing this information with regard to the painting, not the battle. There's no indication of when the battle takes place, nor is there any indication of when the painting was released in the IU timeline. So, to be safe, I just put it the end. If you want, I can try rewriting that paragraph to reflect its focus on the painting, rather than the battle. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:39, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***If you could reword it to focus more on the painting, that would probably be better. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:11, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:30, 26 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *And that concludes part three. Part four will start at "Commanders and crew." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) From the undisclosed location of Darth Culator:
 * 33) *These are more comments than objections, since I haven't had a chance to really read it in-depth yet, though having watched it take shape I'm fairly certain it will be an easy review.
 * 34) Before Imp objects to it, I'll be rescanning File:ExecutorKrake.jpg soon. (Soon as in actual time, not "soon" as in my usual definition.) Cylka did an admirable job cleaning up the Marvel scan, but it's not ALTAfied and it's the only Marvel image you have left that needs to be. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:30, 27 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Guys, I swear to you that one of the load screens from the Xbox 360 version of The Force Unleashed mentioned Executor as the Mammoth Star Destroyer. I think I mentioned this on the article's talk page before (here) but it was never backed up. Can somebody please look into this now that it's going up for FA? I think that the nickname or title or whatever of the "Mammoth Star Destroyer" should be mentioned somewhere. This is more of a general statement, sort of an objection until this is looked into... –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 06:46, 17 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *As I stated on the talk page, there's no indication that that's meant to be anything but a general description for a "large Star Destroyer," and I would question the sanity of anyone who would think otherwise, though I know there are some out there who will. Regardless, this would probably be information more relevant to the Executor-class article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:28, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Well that's a bit insulting, especially considering you haven't even seen it yourself, but okay–point taken. It won't be looked into. –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 03:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***That's not meant to be insulting at all, but you can interpret it like that if you like. It's called a "mammoth Star Destroyer," which isn't indication of being a ship class, like "Mammoth-class Star Destroyer" would be. You're more than welcome to look into it, but I think, as I've stated, it has more to do with the Executor's class. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:51, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Like I explained before, it didn't come up as "mammoth", it came up as "the Mammoth Star Destroyer". –<font color="#000">Victor  Sienar.svg (<font color="#000">talk page ) 04:09, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****What would you suggest exactly? I'm not sure where this would go other than a short BTS note. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:14, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Meh, I guess you're right, since the ship already has a class. Oh well. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:27, 21 June 2009 (UTC)

Sea Leviathan

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:36, 18 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments:Fresh out the GAN oven.

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Comments
 * No sources.
 * Easy pickins.
 * Short and sweet, courtesy of WP:LE. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:37, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

Sic-Six

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:13, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Added only a little information but it's ready and didn't make the GAN cut. Warning: Not suitable for arachnophobics.

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Object
 * 1) Eyrezer:
 * 2) * Can you add a reference for the CCG card suggestion of Leids and Helrot's familiarity?
 * 3) **Added; it's an arguable familiarity mentioned in the game mechanics, not in the background text.
 * 4) * No quotes? --Eyrezer 09:20, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **None that I'm aware of. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:33, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * Can we get some more information on Trix-sor? There is a whole panel on him in GG2. It also has some info on his voice that should be added to the culture or biol sections. --Eyrezer 09:44, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Done, tried not to extrapolate. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:37, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *"to evolve perception advantages." What do you mean by perception advantages?
 * 9) *Also I added a redlink to fangning in the intro. FAs are not allowed redlinks in the intro, so sorry about that. --Eyrezer 22:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I wonder if those images from the prop site are available in any of the making of books. Were you able to check any of them? Perhaps other people here on the Wook have some of them. --Eyrezer 22:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I have not found these images elsewhere, but I could not access the following sources that might include them:
 * The Making of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
 * The Making of Star Wars: The Definitive Story Behind the Original Film
 * The Making of Star Wars
 * The Art of Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Attack on the Endar Spire

 * Nominated by: -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: For the Republic. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  12:23, 18 June 2009 (UTC)

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Support
 * 1) Excellent job. Well done.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) It's good, but...
 * 2) * All instances of "Master" should be capitilized.
 * 3) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * After you mention "Bastila Shan" the first time, all references to her should be made with her surname.
 * 5) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * After fighting their way to the bridge, Revan and Ulgo found it devoid of Republic soldiers. Overran by the Sith, a group of Sith soldiers attacked the pair. Fending them off, they received word from Onasi that Shan had escaped in an escape pod. Didn't Revan receive this message from Onasi after Ulgo distracted Bandon?
 * 7) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * With Brejik dead, the trio returned to Onasi and Revan’s base of operations. When you play the game, only Revan and Shan return to the hideout, and Onasi goes, "Bastila, you're alive" and so forth.
 * 9) **Sorted. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  16:35, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *Take care of these, and I'll be happy to support the article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:59, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 12) *"Attacking it with squadrons of Sith fighters, Darth Bandon, Malak's apprentice, led a boarding party of Sith troopers and Dark Jedi onto the Endar Spire." - did Bandon lead the fighter attack? If not, this sentence should be broken up or reworded.
 * 13) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Now it's a bit awkward. Still needs to be reworded somehow. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Still not fixed. "Attacking it with Sith fighters" is grammatically incorrect where you have it. There needs to be subject-verb agreement in that sentence, and I don't even think using "attack" as a verb here would be a good idea. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) * "Revan, reaching Onasi and the final escape pod, escaped from the ship with the others who had reached the escape pods." - too many forms of "escape." Please substitute.
 * 18) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) * "...Malak aimed to pull the Endar Spire out of hyperspace and attack it with his forces. When the Leviathan pulled the Endar Spire out of hyperspace, the Sith fleet attacked." - too much repetition.
 * 20) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *"...in an attempt to capture Shan alive so that the Sith Empire could use her battle meditation ability." - how would capturing Bastila allow the Sith Empire to use her battle meditation?
 * 22) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***It's still not clear how they would be able to use her ability. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) **Added. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***You misunderstood me here - I'm not asking for context on battle mediation; I'm asking for you to clarify how turning Bastila to the dark side would allow the Sith to use her ability. Would she then use it willingly, or would the Sith have to do something else? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *"Former Sith Lord and Sith Master of Darth Malak, the amnesiac Revan, was serving as a newly recruited soldier for the Republic." - you need to briefly explain how Revan came to be on the Endar Spire here.
 * 27) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) ***The transition from Bastila's ability to Revan being aboard the Endar Spire is very sudden. Plus, you mention that Revan awoke when the battle started, but then you state that Ulgo woke him. Which is it? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Okay. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Still no good. I'd mention Revan in the prelude, and it would be there that I'd give the details on how he came to be on the ship. Where it is now makes little sense. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic, the Jedi fighting Malak's Dark Jedi and the soldiers from both factions engaging in combat." - this is a bit awkward; please reword or even split it up.
 * 32) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ***"The Sith troops who had boarded had engaged the Republic." - seems a bit unnecessary on its own; please merge with the following sentence. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Alright. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Still not addressed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * "The Sith fleet, not wishing to kill Shan, did not direct firepower that would destroy the ship against the Endar Spire." - "destroy the ship against the Endar Spire"? What?
 * 37) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "...they knew Shan would be attempting to escape in an escape pod." - like one above, you should substituted "escape" with something else.
 * 39) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***Hasn't been fixed. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) **Whoops, my bad. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * "In order to save Revan ... the Sith fleet destroyed the Endar Spire." - this entire paragraph is filled with way too many "escape"s and "escaped"s. Please find some appropriate synonyms to use.
 * 43) **Addressed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * Lastly, in the Aftermath section, I think you should occasionally use pronouns and other terms (like "the Jedi") when referring to Bastila. There are an awful lot of "Shan"s as-is. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:13, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **All addressed; thanks for the review so far, Tranner. :) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  20:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***As far as I know, Bastila was not the commander of the Endar Spire. Please rephrase/replace. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:11, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) **Fixed. -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg <span title="(Imperial Intelligence)" style="color:Black">(Imperial Intelligence)  17:48, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Darth Andeddu

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 03:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments:So, dog&mdash;have you discovered my final secret?

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Support
 * 1) After some minor corrections of my own. Nice work. –<font color="#C33">Victor Squishy Vic.png (<font color="#E33">talk page ) 05:24, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Thanks, Vic. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 22:09, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) As always, great job, Tommy.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * File:Andeddu'sKeep.jpg needs to be cropped better. Letterbox frames are visible in the upper left corner. Additionally, the speech bubble text must be restored, to comply with Images. I am also not 100% pleased with the quality of File:AndedduLavaMaker.jpg; there is some distortion. Perhaps Redemption could be persuaded to re-scan the images in question? This objection falls under rules 4 and 16 of the FAN criteria. --Imperialles 12:49, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *First one has been addressed, and awaiting response from Redemption regarding the second one. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 18:37, 28 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I trust you'll be updating this when Dynasty of Evil comes out? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:07, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 15:02, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Not really an objection, but shouldn't the paragraph in the BTS about his appearances be referenced? Just wondering, since I had to do that for Malak, Bandon, and Nord.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 14:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Those are self-sourcing statements, which do not require reftags. The ones that are not have all been sourced. Thanks for the review, Kasra. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:18, 26 June 2009 (UTC)

Duel on Rhen Var

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments:I am still Wookieepedia's resident Battlemaster.

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Comments
 * Not long, but damn good. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

Skytop Station

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Goes with CC's Droid Retrieval project

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Object > JangFett  Talk 19:23, 25 June 2009 (UTC) > JangFett  Talk 14:27, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett's 2 cents
 * 2) * Throughout the article, you say the group were going to target the repulsorlift generators. However in the episode, their target was the main reactor. The reactor was protected by the rayshield.
 * 3) **Okay, I see what you mean.
 * 4) * This may be a speculation but possibly the repulsorlift generators were near the reactor at the time of the station exploding, which caused the Federation core ship to fall.
 * 5) **I think it's a little to speculatory to say that, but I worded it vaguely enough to work out. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 19:18, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Indeed, I'll review it again soon. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *<span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Comments > JangFett  Talk 14:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * My jury is still out on the necessity of a commanders and crew section. So if you think it's needed, let me know. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 07:58, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, we know that Skytop was crewed by Aqualish technicians, and it also appears that Grievous was in command of the station for some time. So I'd say that a commanders and crew section should be written up, even if it's very short. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:00, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * There's one in there now. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 21:33, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Fixed quite a few spelling errors. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Operation Hammerblow

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:14, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Non-DarkStryder Black Fleet Crisis goodness.

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Comments
 * In the combatants field, I did not list every known vessel of the Fifth Fleet. While it can be argued that they could be included as the entire Fifth was present, I chose to simply record those vessels/squadrons mentioned in the text at the time. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 10:14, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Tao

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Current GA

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Comments
 * I don't take credit for writing this article, but as a 1500 GA, I'm nominating it and will see it through the FAN process. --Eyrezer 23:51, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Young-Elders War

 * Nominated by: &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My fourth completed article and first one long enough to qualify for FA. Part of JonathanProject:Obi-Wan left the Jedi.

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Object > QuiGonJinn (Talk) 17:47, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) *"Yoda sent Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his thirteen-year-old Padawan to rescue Tahl." You need to state who the Padawan is at this point, since you start the next paragraph off talking about him, like he's already been mentioned.
 * 3) **Facepalm. How did I forget that? Addressed.
 * 4) *"Breaking the rules of his apprenticeship, he agreed to help Cerasi and the Young with their plan and participate in the early stages of one of the attacks." How exactly was Kenobi breaking the rules of his apprenticeship?
 * 5) **The source is a bit unclear, but I've clarified it slightly.
 * 6) *Gotta get ready for my football game. More to come later. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 11:45, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **No problem. I'll look forward to the rest of your review. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 20:01, 27 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * Didn't The Middle Generation ally themselves with the Young near the end of the war? Why aren't they in the infobox?
 * 9) **The Middle Generation allied with the Young at the end of the war, not "near" the end of the war&mdash;specifically after the attack on the spaceport, which was the battle that ended the war. Since they never actually participated in the war, I didn't list them. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * Again, the infobox. As I remember, Wehutti was one of the Elders' leaders. If I'm correct, you should add him to the "commanders" field.
 * 11) **In The Defenders of the Dead, it's stated that Wehutti was a Melida leader before the Young-Elders War, but no source explicitly states that he was a commander in the war itself. For all we know, he could be just a political leader and not a military leader. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *I'm sure that the war was mentioned several times in the subsequent books. Something along the lines of "Obi-Wan leaving the Order" counts at least as an indirect mention.
 * 13) **I think that counting every mention of Obi-Wan leaving the Order as an indirect mention of the war might be stretching things a bit, but there might be a few that actually have an indirect mention of the war itself (e.g. I think the The Captive Temple mentions Obi-Wan interfering in a planet's internal affairs, now that I think about it). I'll look into this as soon as I can get the books from the library, but if it only mentions Obi-Wan's resignation in relation to his relationship with Qui-Gon, I wouldn't call it an indirect mention of the war itself. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 18:38, 28 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"
 * 1) *Will give an in-depth review later. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 12px"

Comments
 * 2,441 words at last count, so not real long. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:52, 27 June 2009 (UTC)