Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."

Also remember to add Nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Major issues listed here have been addressed. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *You've done a nice job, Yrfeloran, making some major additions to this article. Unfortunately, it's still quite a ways away from being up to FA standards. Without even reading through, I pick up on the following problems:
 * 3) * The infobox must be completely sourced, as does the succession box at the bottom of the page.
 * 4) **Done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Complete sourcing includes sourcing the "Era(s)" field. I've done this for you, but please source this next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:44, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Any quotes within the article must go at the beginning of sections, after the subhead, not in the middle of paragraphs.
 * 7) **Most of those were residual old paragraphs - done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *The entire article is little more than 1-2 sentence paragraphs summarizing events. While I'm certainly not a huge prequel trilogy fan, having never read the majority of these sources, this tells me that you've done just that, quickly generalizing important topics while skipping out on juicy details. Featured Articles must be comprehensive, not only including material from all relevant sources, but also detailing that information to a great degree. An article like Dooku, for as much information is out there on him, should have dozens of paragraphs several sentences in length. It's just too thin right now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:50, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ** There was a formatting issue with some prior authors' styles, which I've now fixed. It now "looks better". As for actual content, there have been significant expansions and section mergings. Dooku's article over the period of the movies was probably more in-depth than recently re-FAd Grievous, for instance, even before I revamped it. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) LtNOWIS
 * 11) * Image:Quarren league.jpg, Image:DookuVSGrievous.jpg, and Image:DookuBTS.jpg need more specific sources. The Clone Wars shots need to specify which episodes, and the databank shot needs a link to the page it's from. -LtNOWIS 10:19, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Muuuuuurgh helped with this. Thanks, Muuuuuurgh! Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 14) * Needs a longer and more comprehensive intro.
 * 15) ** Intro has been expanded somewhat. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I won't get specific, but it's way too light on detail. Most of the article is just short paragraph, then a new section.
 * 17) *This can be brought to FA, but it will take a lot of time and commitment. If you can do it, I commend you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:30, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) More stuff from me:
 * 19) * Both Sith Apprentice and Leaving the Order have paragrpahs that are no more than one or two sentences. Combine sentences in those sections or expand them.
 * 20) **Combination and expansion done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Combine the sections Jedi confrontation and successful escape.
 * 22) **Done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * You link way too much. Link onc ein the intro and then once in the body.
 * 24) **This was kind of inevitable, since the original article was overlinked and additions were made piecemeal. I think I've pruned about all of them Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * De-link the quote in Endgame.
 * 26) **Done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Remove the sentence about Quinlan Vos in the Legacy section.
 * 28) **done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *I am very impressed with what you've done so far. Keep up the good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) From the legal pad scrawling of Atarumaster88
 * 31) * Lot of short paragraphs need fleshed out or combined with others.
 * 32) **I've done a fair bit of this. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * I'd say remove some of the shorter sections by combining them with others also.
 * 34) ** And a lot of section combining Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Compare your appearances/sources list to the reference list. A quick check reveals no information from the following:
 * 36) ** Star Wars: Battlefront
 * 37) ** Some of those HoloNet news.
 * 38) ** Boba Fett: Crossfire
 * 39) ** Republic 49.
 * 40) ** Legacy of the Jedi
 * 41) ** And I'm sure there are more.
 * 42) ***Most of those were actually there - Legacy was ref'd 8 times, Crossfire and 49 were there but cited as Fight to Survive and 50. I did some expansion on the HNN stuff and added Battlefront. Yrfeloran 03:00, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) *Needs a non-canon appearance section. (Ugh)
 * 44) **I'm probably going to need help with this one. I've got the bare bones of one up. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) ***I see most of them done. Is there additional information in the LEGO video games that's not there yet? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:22, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) * Properly reference all Clone Wars cartoon series references by chapter.
 * 47) **Done for all IU refs Yrfeloran 03:35, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) *It's a lot better than it was, but still will need work, as others have already said. Feel free to drop by WP:NEGTC for additional help, though, or my talk page. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) From the full-fledged desk of Atarumaster88
 * 50) * Dooku's role in Jedi:Shaak Ti could use mention.
 * 51) **OK, it's got a mention Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) * Same thing with Republic 54.
 * 53) **Somebody who's read this in the past year definitely needs to double-check, but added. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * I'm not seeing any information from the Shadowfeed.
 * 55) **Added Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) ***<There are three or four Shadowfeed appearances in the appearance list, but only 1 reference that I saw. Did you get them all?
 * 57) ****There's one trivial one, and the fragment of a Fete day address that doesn't have much content besides "we're awesome, Republic sucks" Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) * Mention Dooku's role in the Battle of Jabiim.
 * 59) **mentioned Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * Check also Republic 59, 60, and 61. I forget whether those have key mentions.
 * 61) ** They don't, but I added 64 Yrfeloran 00:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) * Yoda's lesson to Dooku in EGTTF might be good P&T material.
 * 63) ** I was thinking about doing that, but it's hard to wedge it in. He's like 7, too. Yrfeloran 04:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) ***Added an oblique mention in Childhood Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * Your EGTTF refs, at least, are all off and are seemingly removing content from the article.There's a sentence or two missing from his tutelage under Cerulian. When you reference, your first reference to a source should like like, but your subsequent references should only include to avoid errors. And also, the field of , the blah part is just a placeholder and so you can abbreviate to shorten the code, just keep it understandable.
 * 66) **The Thame stuff was due to a different malformed reference that I fixed. I'll trim some of these as I come across them, but with the amount of paragraph merging/etc. going around it is really useful as an editor in this particular situation to have more than one ref linked. Also "blah" should be full source name per Layout Guide, which I agree with. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Heh, I stand corrected. Though the use of abbreviated referencing is sorta common. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Yeah, there's some legacy ones on the Dooku page, but on an article this size when you're editing a section at a time it's a -massive- pain to look up what the page's nickname of the source you want is. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) * All your references have the same error, it appears.
 * 70) * " Though Dooku's behavior and beliefs as a Jedi had previously been within the scope of Jedi orthodoxy,[1] there is evidence that in the period before he left the Order he flirted with the belief that the dark side of the Force could be called upon without personal corruption.[17]." This sentence is OOU and should be rewritten to conform with the MoS. At the very least, the tense is wrong.
 * 71) **Fixed I guess. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) * Lot of short sentences in the last paragraph of "Leaving the Order".
 * 73) **Made some a little longer? Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Need context on Palpatine. His double identity as Darth Sidious is not discussed, and the casual reader may not be awareof that.
 * 75) **Added this. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * OOU/tense issues with this: "It is suspected that Dooku himself did this, but it is unclear how he accomplished it." also. Recall that EGTTF is an IU publication, if that helps.
 * 77) ** Fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) * Jumps back and forth about his Sith status. He's supposed to be a Sith Lord in "Sith apprentice" but his Sith training is still ongoing during the Bando Gora episode. Clarify please.
 * 79) ** Noncontradictory. One becomes an apprentice first, then learns Sith stuff. See Vader. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) ***You have him listed as a "fully-fledged Sith Lord", not as a Sith apprentice, and then went on to later discuss his training.
 * 81) **** OK, removed the adjective Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) * 2nd paragraph of "Moving the pieces" could use a more varied sentence syntax.
 * 83) **fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 84) * "To the surprise of both parties, Dooku himself was present". Present where? Needs more context.
 * 85) ** Added context Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) * More context needed on initial mention of Vos and Secura.
 * 87) ** Added a little bit here. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) * More context needed on Ansion's alliances and Dooku's manipulations there.
 * 89) ** Added Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * "The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi then traced Jango back to his home on the planet Kamino. Kenobi found Jango Fett there, and also discovered the clone army that Dooku had once ordered. This army was now fully grown and ready for action." Condense this, but give some more context in general on Episode II. The Jedi rescue force in particular.
 * 91) ** OK, did a little more context.
 * 92) * Be specific about some Episode II details. List the factions involved in the CIS. List the creatures in the arena.
 * 93) ** Done, though the CIS stuff inevitably comes across as a little listy.
 * 94) * In general, it is not advisable to use the first names of characters. A few exceptions might include major characters, but not, say, Zam Wesell.
 * 95) ** OK Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) * More detail on arena battle and Dooku's role in it.
 * 97) ** Uh, OK, added that he watched from the balcony :P Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) * 2nd para of "The clones attack" is all short sentences.
 * 99) ** fiddled with Yrfeloran 02:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * "spectacular duel" is POV.
 * 101) ** fixed Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) * Sev'rance Tann's role in Dooku's escape from Geonosis, as well as the Dark Acolytes blocking Windu in their tanks should be mentioned.
 * 103) ** Like Padme falling out of the gunship, I don't think this is really directly relevant to Dooku's article. Yrfeloran 01:26, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) ***I'll accept the explanation on the tanks, but I think Sev'rance Tann's role as the chief commander of the droid armies could use some explanation, and that ties in well with her role in helping Dooku escape. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) ****I added a little more context with Tann in the proper section. Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 106) *You're about halfway to my ending catchphrase, but I think there's plenty here for now. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 107) " Even as the Separatist movement grew and coalesced around Dooku as a leader, the Jedi Council did not believe he could be behind the violence.[24] although he". I think your reference is eating some of your text here.
 * 108) **fixed Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) * 3 short paragraphs in "A new ally" could use merging.
 * 110) ** I did a little bit of addition, but I think merging those paragraphs would hurt more than it'd help Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 111) * More context needed on "Sidious said that it did not matter either way.".
 * 112) ** Added Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 113) * This is related to above, but Tann's role and actions are never explained properly in relation to Dooku.
 * 114) **Tried to address this Yrfeloran 00:49, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) * Again, check your linking. A lot of things are overlinked, but don't worry too much about it; that can be corrected automatically.
 * 116) * The first name thing is fine with say, Anakin and Obi-Wan as long as it's not overrused, but certainly not with minor characters. Nothing you haven't seen before. ;-)
 * 117) ** I'll fix it as I go, but not for, say, Tallisibeth Enwandung-Esterhazy Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 118) ***Spoilsport. :-P Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:22, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 119) * Just a general suggestion: Try reading the article aloud to see how it flows. Parts of it don't read that well, and a few small tweaks would fix those.
 * 120) * The section title "Miscellaneous villainy" needs reworded. Dare I say it doesn't sound encyclopediac?
 * 121) **Unencyclopediac...but -so- true. OK, reworded. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 122) * These two don't flow well together: "Droids planted charges on the planet and prepared for detonation. The Separatist-allied inhabitents of Viidaav would have also been killed."
 * 123) **Reworded whole section Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) * "Miscellaneous villainy" has a large number of short paragraphs and the content is disjointed. Let the prose flow within you.
 * 125) **It's hard. Mostly random CWA stuff. Gave it a shot Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) * Short paragraphs in meeting on Vjun.
 * 127) **Did some work there. Yrfeloran 03:14, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) *" She had previously been defeated and humiliated by Anakin Skywalker on Coruscant.[61] However, a Republic fleet arrived before the process was completed." These two have no tie-in, and don't flow well together either.
 * 129) **Added more context Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 130) * Last paragraph on Saleucami needs more context, or give background on the battle more towards the beginning. Either way.
 * 131) **done Yrfeloran 01:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) * "Sidious also ordered Grievous to attack Coruscant and simultaneously to the Separatist assault on Tythe." Clarify this sentence.
 * 133) **did so Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 134) * "General Grievous was unaware that his hapless captive was also the feared mastermind behind the Confederation. Dooku arrived on the Invisible Hand and took charge of the prisoner." These two sentences don't flow well together.
 * 135) **Tried to segue better Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 136) * Link the Invisible Hand.
 * 137) **It was linked in the first mention Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) * Link to the saber forms and even provide some context on them if you feel it would be good.
 * 139) **I'd prefer not to, having just rescued the article from an unhealthy obsession with Makashi. I have some in the lightsaber training section, but it needs to stay out of the ROTS fight or else it will morph into "Ataru beat Makashi" instead of "Anakin beat Dooku". Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 140) ***Fair enough. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:35, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 141) *" In a burst of power, Anakin overpowered Dooku". The power of the sentence is a mite overwhelming.
 * 142) **did some rewording Yrfeloran 04:54, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 143) * Remove the section header "Revelation". It's unnecessary and interrupts the events on Invisible Hand
 * 144) **OK....I did this, but I'm not sure I'm happy with it. Lose "Kill him now" quote, for one. Yrfeloran 05:34, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 145) * Redlinks. Waaaay too many.
 * 146) **Down to three now Yrfeloran 04:58, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 147) *Keep working on it. Chances are that this'll go through a couple more reviews, but don't give up; this has potential. Have a Super Terrific Friendly-Unfrustrating Day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:11, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Former featured article. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I am happy to see someone tackle this and I would encourage you, Yrfeloran, to hack away at it. For what it's worth, I recall (several months ago) noticing that numerous chunks of fanon and fan speculation had made their way into this article, so as the revision process continues, I'd recommend proceeding suspiciously, never assuming that a source tag is legit unless yourself added or checked it. (I haven't even really looked at it yet, though, so for all I know somebody already cleansed it.)  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 12:39, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I did a good deal of the sourcing myself, and have spot-checked most of the rest. There was a serious fanon/NPOV purge that I did, and the non-biographical sections are now shorter. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Note to self: Done up to Clone Wars. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:26, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Small input from Tinwe, concerning the lightsaber Dooku used as a Jedi: I'd like to point you to the direction of this image. It shows that Dooku used the curve-hilt design already as a Padawan (I'm not 100% sure if this is his own saber or just another training saber&mdash;though at least I have never seen a curve-hilted one). Whatever the case, I think it deserves to be mentioned in the article. --Tinwe 16:09, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * There's a mention in the continuity section of the BtS. As a book cover, the Legacy of the Jedi cover is not really canon. Especially since there's no scene with young Dooku wielding his own saber in the actual book, and the whole montage is kinda, IMHO, poorly done. Yrfeloran 00:49, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated. I started out expecting this to be a GA due to limited content available, but I found I was able to put together a pretty decent entry that exceeded 1,000 words, so here it is in FA. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) The Colinmcev train rolls on. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:30, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:03, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Please elaborate on why he fled the battle. Did his forces lose? Was he scared off by Skywalker? "Weir fled the battle and ordered his men to pull back to their transport ships"
 * 3) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * This is a tad confusing. You say he was being pursued by Numb, but then Numb is hiding out in a canyon? Please clarify: "He quickly detected that the Sullustan Ten Numb had pursued him on a speeder bike and, as his men were preparing to leave, Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding"
 * 5) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Please clarify whose blaster he used here. Seems like he used Numb's: "Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding and captured him by knocking him unconscious with his blaster rifle"
 * 7) **It was Weir's gun. Added the reference. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Bah, it was fine how it was. I've changed it back. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * This sentence doesn't make sense to me. The led the Rebel fighters by attacking a convoy? Please clarify/elaborate on what's going on: "which escaped a pursuit from Rogue Squadron by leading the Rebel X-wing and A-wing starfighters by attacking a civilian convoy with suicide drone TIEs."
 * 10) **Yeah, something went a little wrong there. I think some of my proofreading changes might not have made it in due to some of the bug problems I was having the day I nominated it. I cleaned it up and tried to clarify. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Please reword to avoid ending subsequent clauses with the same word: "including sizes and secret locations of military forces, which could be used in strikes against the Rebel forces"
 * 12) **Got it. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * So, Weir took Numb back to Tralus to be interrogated? Please specify This sentence makes me question this: "Upon learning that Luke Skywalker and the Rogues found the secret base due"
 * 14) **I put a reference to it right before the torture stuff. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * I'm kind of skeptical as to describing R2-D2 as famous here. Can you confirm that the source does indeed say this, or even source this to something else? "and the famed astromech droid R2-D2,"
 * 16) **I just dropped the famed reference altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * In the paragraph beginning, "As Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu pursued the general in stolen TIE Fighters...," you use the word "surface" three times in two sentences, including twice in a single sentence. Please reword, ideally, two of these.
 * 18) **So, you want me to use the word surface more. You got it! (Kidding, by the way ;) ). --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Just confirming. There's nothing else explaining what happened after he was captured and brought to interrogation?
 * 20) **Unfortunately, no. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Please reword to avoid using the base word "regard" twice here: "Regardless of species, Weir showed little regard"
 * 22) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***You've only changed "little" to "no." Specifically, I'm looking for you to reword one either "Regardless" or "regard." Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ****lol, Oops. Fixed. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * I'm confused as to how telling Numb that his torture was the product of a chance encounter is considered psychological torture: "Weir enjoyed applying psychological attacks against his subjects, such as his statements to Ten Numb that his capture and torture was the result of a purely chance encounter."
 * 26) **He said something to the affect that the mission was only meant to punish Coronet City and that they didn't even know Luke and the pilots would be there, so it was only based on pure chance that they even found Numb, and yet now he was being tortured because of it. I found it a bit difficult to condense though, and really I think there were other better psychological torments to use as an example, so I changed the sentence altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Through the third and fourth paragraphs of the P&T section, you begin off a number of sentences with "Weir was..." Please reword some of these.
 * 28) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * I would like to see a little cleaner BTS. It's not bad, all the information is just about there, but please rewrite to more effectively say who created him and what comics he appears in. Also make sure to identify the year the comics were published. If possible, you might add why he was created. What purpose did his character serve? Antagonist? Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:25, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) **What do you think of it now? --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Very nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) Lil' bit more:
 * 33) * I would still like a little bit here explaining how, even though they apparently satisfied his taste for destruction, they still didn't get Skywalker: "Weir ordered the deaths of Skywalker and anyone who stood with him, military and civilian alike."
 * 34) **Changed this around a bit. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Cleaned it up a bit, but that's fine. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:30, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * The little blurb you've selected for its own section in the "Talents and abilities" section isn't really enough to warrant an individual section. Please move that into the P&T.
 * 37) **Got it.
 * 38) * Also, just a reminder, still one unresolved objection above. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:22, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Got it. --Colinmcev 00:10, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Er, the "legion" quote is used twice. I'm hoping this wasn't intentional. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:53, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) **Nope, it wasn't. Fixed. I think I just copied the quote up there for the template and intended to replace the actual quote. I fixed it. --Colinmcev 22:16, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 3) *It's been a little while since I've read this particular issue of Rogue Squadron, but is Weir stated to be a storm commando?
 * 4) **I looked back and didn't find a specific reference (the storm commando reference was already in the article when I started editing). I still felt and feel that it's safe to call him that, since he not only wears the uniform (if a guy is wearing an Imperial Stormtrooper outfit, but isn't specifically identified as a stormtrooper, you can still tell he's a stormtrooper), but also because he demonstrates a lot of the skills and missions of the storm commandos; namely, from our article, to "instill uprisings and subdue insurrections, which is very similar to what he was doing here. I'm hoping you'll agree and that I can leave the detail in, but if you really think it has to go I'll drop it. --Colinmcev 02:11, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Correct me if I'm wrong; I don't think we generally cite by issue, but by story arc.
 * 6) **I don't know what the precedent is, but whatever it is, I'll be happy to follow it. I just did it this way because I figured the more specific I was with the issues, the more accurate the article would be, but you can feel free to change it or instruct me and I'll do so.
 * 7) ***I checked a few other FAs and found they were referenced by story arc, not issue, just as you said. I changed it accordingly. --Colinmcev 16:02, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ****Personally, I prefer citing by issue if we can for the reasons Colinmcev said. But if this is going to be done by story arc, then it's single source and the references need to be removed entirely. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:55, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *****I'm down with whatever; obviously I agree with Green Tentacle but I'll go with whatever direction you guys want to give. Atarumaster, since you made the objection, I'll go with whatever direction you want. Or if other inqs want to weigh in, that's cool too. --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Some minor little things cleaned up, but that's about it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:13, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Image objections:
 * Image:Weir.JPG: Quite distorted.
 * 1) **This image is actually not distorted; its deliberately dark and a bit off in the comic itself to make Weir look as evil and creepy as possible. This picture was here before I got to the article, but looking at it again in the comic, I can honestly say I don't think another scan could make it clearer. --Colinmcev 04:57, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Weir.jpg: Even more distorted.
 * 1) **Rescanned and reuploaded. --Colinmcev 04:57, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Weirtorturingten.jpg: Could probably be cropped a little better to remove more of the white frame at the top.
 * 1) **Done. --Colinmcev 04:57, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Wedgepunchweir.jpg: Needs to be cropped. The frame line is showing on the top left side, and the top right side seems &hellip;bent somehow.
 * 1) **I previously avoided that crop so Weir's whole hand would be in there, but I did the crop and reuploaded. --Colinmcev 04:57, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * --Imperialles 18:51, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) *No better image for the infobox, sans comic frames?
 * 3) **Honestly, there really isn't a better picture of Weir. The comic frames thing is a bit unfortunate, but most of the other pictures of his face are either less adequate or similarly obscured. Plus, this image is the first time we see Weir without the mask, it's our intro to him and I think it really nails his sadistic nature. That all being said, I'm proficient enough in Photoshop that I could remove the comic frames on the top of this image and replace them with a standard white background, but I didn't know if that was allowed or not. If it is, let me know and I'd be happy to do it. --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Category:Images of Weir could be populated with, say, the rest of the article's images.
 * 1) **Whoops. Haha. The other images are in that category now. --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Not so keen on "Bald" as a hair color.
 * 3) **I changed it to None. Is that better? Or is hair color removed altogether in these cases? --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *"Torturous" is being used a bit much.
 * 5) **I only found the word used twice. The word torture is used more, but I didn't feelt it was overused, especially considering that torture is such a big part of what Weir is all about. If maybe you could give me some suggestions of instances where you feel it should be removed or reworded, I can go from there? --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *"Weir was a storm commando, an elite branch&hellip;" – Please reword.
 * 7) **I see what you mean. What do you think of the change I made? --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *"After the Battle of Endor and the death of Emperor Palpatine in 4 ABY, Weir started a counter-Rebellion movement to interfere with the Rebel Alliance as it attempted to transition into the New Republic and establish itself as the dominant form of government in the galaxy." – A bit ponderous; please break up.
 * 9) **Done. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 04:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *I don't exactly agree with the concept that Coronet City ceased to be a booming metropolis during the Empire. Please rephrase and clarify.
 * 11) **I changed it. Just so you know where I'm coming fro, the dialogue from the comic as they walk through the busy streets is: "Last time I was here. The city was gripped in fear. Nobody even left their houses at night...it was a city in total lockdown." "Looks like all the locks have been broken."
 * 12) *Explain the help from Leyli and R2 a bit; it reads like a loose end.
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:00, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I am aware that the Discussion and Quotes page links are redlinks right now, and that the summary info for the two pictures I scanned are missing. When I put this entry together, for some odd reason, Wookieepedia wouldn't let me create any new pages, so I couldn't add any of these things. I have the stuff saved in a TXT file, so I'll try again in a day or so and hopefully it will be resolved. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Also, for some remarkably frustrating reason, I found that every time I tried to edit a single section, as opposed to the entire article, it removed my entry entry, reverted to the old one, and showed no sign of my previous edits in my contributions or in the history. I have copy and pasted my entry into a TXT file and saved it in case this happens again. I imagine this is just some temporary bug that is probably fixed by the time you are reading this, but just in case, maybe if you edit something you can edit the whole article, not just a section? --Colinmcev 05:54, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.--Colinmcev 06:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Ebola? Nah!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:05, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 01:29, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:04, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) A nice original idea for an article. Great work Colin --Eyrezer 06:13, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Wonderfully well-written article. Excellent job, Colin. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:57, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood
 * 2) * Introduction should be merged into one paragraph; also, the last subsection of it needs to be rewritten for accuracy (the Vratix is a species of insectoid, not a medicine)
 * 3) **Although you're obviously 100% correct on the Vratix thing (that was just a typo, now fixed), I really don't think one giant paragraph is the answer here. I agree with Lord Hydronium; the lack of a picture on the side makes them look shorter than they are. Any chance you might change your mind on that objection? --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Could you at least merge either the first two or last two paragraphs? Also, "it was eventually eradicated the Vratix, a bacta-producing medicine from Thyferra, which combined bacta and ryll kor to develop rylca," is still incorrect.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I did some expanding to the intro. Let me know if you think it's better. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * A longer introduction may be necessary, given the length of the article itself, that touches on more of the major points.
 * 7) **I wouldn't be averse to a longer introduction, although offhand I don't really think it's necessary and might be a bit overdone if it were too long. That being said, do you have any suggestions as to what specific major points should be touched on in the intro that aren't already? If I had that guidance, I'd be cool with making it longer, if need be... --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Infoboxes don't take up that much room...but then my resolution is pretty high. Meh.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Please spell out small numbers in the article ("twelve" instead of "12")&mdash;this is more a style issue.
 * 10) **This is one of my reporter things; AP style says spell the numbers out up until 10, then start using numerals. But I'm down with what you're saying, and I fixed it. --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***If I may interject, Colin and I are both journalists, so I understand his using AP style for numerals. I do the same thing, and have encountered inquiry from users reviewing my articles. Please see my current Samoc Farr nomination up the list. This is indeed more of a style issue and as such, since there is no policy regarding the matter, should not be dictated to be done one way or another. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ****Thanks for addressing this. We're not a newspaper, ya'know... ;-) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *****hehe I know. Sometimes my little habits are hard to break. I'll fix the rest of these objections after work today. --Colinmcev 13:59, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Please replace the numbered list for stages of the disease with prose; this will cut down on the number of ref tags and generally make for a tidier article.
 * 15) **Well...this is just my preference (sorry I'm being so difficult! lol) but I like the numbered list for the stages. I know it cuts down the number of ref tags and that shorter paragraphs are a no no, but I felt like this was the way to describe the stages that made the most sense, and I thought it made the article as a whole sort of unique. I did change it to prose, but I'd encourage you and others to compare and contrast the two ways and see if you like the numbered list better. --Colinmcev 04:33, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) ***The sentiment is understandable, however doing it this way keeps consistency with other articles. Thanks.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 12:09, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *TIMMMMMBERRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:21, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) Toprawa:
 * 19) *A few things I've noticed after glancing through the article:
 * 20) * No era tags?
 * 21) **Oops, fixed. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * Your list of aliens infected must be sourced.
 * 23) **Done. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * Source list should be ordered by OOU publication date.
 * 25) **Done. --Colinmcev 15:38, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *Will go through this in its entirety soon. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * In the last paragraph of the "Treatment" section, you end each sentence with "against the virus." Please reword to mix it up a little bit.
 * 28) **Is this acceptable? --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Yup. Good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:00, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) * Please add a little bit more in the "Release" section to explain that she allowed the NR to take Coruscant so that they would inherit the infected populace-her plot for their downfall.
 * 31) **I hadn't done this originally because I thought it was covered somewhat in Conception, but looking at it now I think you're right that a reference is warranted here as well. Added one. --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Please add a bit here to explain that resentment spread due to Humans being immune, which will help solidify your next sentence mentioning this: "Resentment quickly grew between the Human and non-Human populations"
 * 33) **How is it now? --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) ***Perfect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:00, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * Please reword a little bit to clarify what was quarantined here, Coruscant or the ships? "and many worlds ordered ships from Imperial Center quarantined so the disease would not be spread"
 * 36) **It's actually both. I changed it. --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * Please link "medevac unit" to something. You may choose to just burn one of your red links with it :P "convinced that medevac units"
 * 38) **I guess I'll have to do just that. --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) * Please pipe link the specific battle you refer to in the image caption for the Bacta War.
 * 40) **Done.
 * 41) * In this respect, "dangerous" is a bit POVish. Could you choose a different adjective? "a precursor for the much more dangerous Diversity Alliance"
 * 42) **I just made a simple switch to violence. What do you think? --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) ***Works perfect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:00, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * This speculation here doesn't fit well, unless the source explicitly alludes to these possibilities. If not, should be removed: "The Krytos Plague stored in the Emperor's Plague Storehouse was either a different virus with the same name, or Derricote somehow smuggled some of the real Krytos virus into the storehouse in 6.5 ABY."
 * 45) **I'm open to any way we can reword it more effectively, but I'm opposed to removing it altogether. This one is tricky because, as we discussed last time around, this is basically an attempt to address a continuity error. In YJK: The Emperor's Plague, one of the characters discovered the Krytos virus being stored, even though the storehouse was sealed up prior to 4 ABY and the virus wasn't created until 6ish ABY. If we were to take it out altogether and not address this at all, I feel like the article would be incomplete. Personally, I feel the wording is acceptable, especially since it's worded the exact same way as in the Evir Derricote article, but again I'm happy to take suggestions.
 * 46) ***You could keep it just as is if you move it into the BTS. You could create a subsection titled "Inconsistencies" or something and explain the continuity error to an even greater degree. The BTS has some leniency for speculation like that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:00, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) ****I made that switch. What do you think? --Colinmcev 23:45, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) *****Excellent. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:57, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) **Colin, this is an absolutely outstanding, incredibly well-written article. In my opinion, this is the best production you've put forth thus far on the Wook. This was an absolute pleasure to read, and I'm really glad you're apart of our team. The BTS is well-researched, as well. Fantastic. :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:51, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) ***Thanks, man. This one was a lot more challenging than the character ones, but it was well worth it. (My next one, Gara Petothel, will probably be easier.) I appreciate all the help, as always, and am looking forward to seeing that little star in the corner when it's all said and done. :D --Colinmcev 23:14, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) IIRC, Sian Tevv wasn't actually infected by the virus, but had just been exposed to it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:43, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) **Hmm, looks like you're right. Removed --Colinmcev 16:33, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) ***It might be worth mentioning in the history section that there was a risk of his contracting the virus, to illustrate that it wasn't just the poor people who got hit. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:35, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Good idea. I added a reference into the Infections and unrest section. --Colinmcev 23:46, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) From Greyman:
 * 56) *To me, the section "Aliens infected by the Krytos virus" seems redundant almost. Is there any way to include those names in the actual body of the article somewhere? In prose? Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:31, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) **Sure. I was on the fence about that section anyway, especially considering that millions were actually infected, and that section only identified a small handful. I added the names to the prose and dropped it. --Colinmcev 22:21, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) Both in the text and in the infobox, you source Baragwin being susceptible to the disease to The Krytos Trap, however, the Baragwin do not appear in that novel. --Eyrezer 01:30, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) *My source for them was actually the Ultimate Alien Anthology, which I included cited in a reference to the Baragwin in the legacy section. I added additional citations to the Baragwin references in the text and infobox. --Colinmcev 05:02, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I figured this was a natural to follow Evir Derricote. It proved to be a pretty big challenge though, especially since there was no real precedent (that I found) to follow for nominating a virus or bioweapon. I found that rather than have a straightforward chronological history of the virus, it was better to talk about the virus a bit first then get into the history, hence the "Biology" and "History" categories and the sub-categories. I hope you'll agree that this was the best way to approach it. And, unfortunately, I don't believe there are any real Krytos pictures out there, but I tried to include as many supporting pics as I could.--Colinmcev 06:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Good idea, an FA on a virus. That's a new one for the Wook... ;-) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 03:21, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Disagree on the introduction. The lack of a picture on the side makes each paragraph and the whole thing seem shorter than it really is. - Lord Hydronium 03:23, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm fairly certain I, or another user, can cook up an infobox for this type of article. I'll see what I can do, and post it for your consideration, Colinmcev :) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 04:41, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I was thinking the same thing as Greyman. I know we can put one together. ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:48, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * There are certainly enough diseases to merit one and I have faith in our l33t coding skillz. Blastonecrosis, Emperor's Plague, etc. Suggestions for fields might include a name, created by, created when, species susceptible to, transmission type, maybe incubation period. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:24, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Here you go, Colinmcev :) Template:Infobox disease. As with other infoboxes, it has been created so that if a field is left blank, then it will automatically hide when it is saved. Have fun, Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 14:58, 28 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Sweet, thanks! Nice to have an infobox for this. --Colinmcev 15:40, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) I'm raking hell with the references! *Maniacal laughter*  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:40, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 19:32, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:05, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Instead, Skywalker stated that the immediate goals of the Jedi were to find a new location for their refuge; Celchu’s presence and eventual report would compromise their secrecy, recover the kidnapped Allana, the heir of the Hapes Cluster, who was being held prisoner as political and personal leverage over Hapan Queen Mother Tenel Ka, and to destroy Centerpoint Station with the aid of Joran Seyah to prevent its use by either the Confederation or Galactic Alliance." Confusing. I get what you’re trying to say but the part about Celchu interrupts the whole sentence.
 * 3) **Set off the Celchu part with a pair of dashes instead. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * "As Celchu could now justifiably say he was coerced if questioned by his superiors, he agreed to Skywalker’s plan, his long ties with many members of the Jedi Order, as well as Antilles, Solo, the Horns influencing his decision." Explain who the Horns are. I think you're missing an "and" too.
 * 5) **Got it, I think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Following their successful mock pursuit of Reveille, Antilles directed Rakehell Squadron to commence a similar routine, this time on Broadside. However, this time they were opposed by Galactic Alliance starfighters, and not just any unit." Remove one of the “this times”.
 * 7) **Cleared up. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "Even glancing shots intended to damage the Rogues were insufficient to stop the famous squadron and Rakehell casualties were mounting. Even as he fought and flew, Antilles noted that while at least two Rogues, including Rogue Leader, a Duros named Lensi, had been killed, the Rakehells had suffered losses of their own." Remove an "even". Also, "as he fought and flew" should be changed to another wording.
 * 9) **Changed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "With Celchu having returned to the Galactic Alliance, Rakehells had only eight pilots remaining in the engagement zone." Should it be “the Rakehells”?
 * 11) **Yes, it should, and now it is. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Just before they left, the Rakehells observed the detonation of Centerpoint Station, which obliterated both the Corellian/Commenori fleets and the Galactic Alliance flotilla, aside from the ‘’Anakin Solo’’, and brought the battle to an abrupt halt. Italicize the Anakin Solo.
 * 13) **Oops. Carryover from a cut and paste. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Cheriss ke Hanadi was a female Adumari whom Wedge Antilles met during the New Republic’s inaugural diplomatic mission to Adumar." When was this mission?
 * 15) **Tidbit added. 13 ABY. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:07, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Nice article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:21, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Image objections:
 * 18) * Image:WedgeAntilles.jpg: There's some sort of checkered distortion covering the entire picture.
 * Image:Corran tfp.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:JainaTahiri.jpg: Distorted.
 * Image:Zekk(2).jpg: Needs a crop. Also, it contains massive .jpg artifacts.
 * --Imperialles 12:58, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Ataru says:
 * WARNING! Fury spoilers, and more!
 * Yes, it is a single source nom. Don't let all those refs fool you.
 * I anticipate lots of objections, as this was written kind of fast and loose, but some of the things are intentional.
 * I know there's not much BTS info. I've e-mailed Source A for more, but no telling when I'll get a response.
 * First squadron article up for FA, so be wary of citing other precedents. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:19, 29 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I didn't think it was possible to have that many refs for a single-source FA.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:54, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Encouraged to do this by Gonk and Eyrezer, after Gonk tricked encouraged me to write him up over IRC. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 23:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 07:35, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:45, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * There are still a few redlinks at time of nomination: Evinn Dastt, Greg Gorden, Greg Costikyan, and Thannik. &mdash;Silly Dan talk) 23:55, 1 April 2008 (UTC)
 * It's below the limit of three now, I guess. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 03:20, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * And then there were none. I presume I'm allowed to strike my own objection...&mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 02:20, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * List in the bio, and the bio needs better sectioning, whether it's anecdotes or not. See Gunman for examples. Thefourdotelipsis 02:47, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * You mean it needs sectioning of any sort in the bio... As for the list, I honestly thought that was the best way to format the miscellany there.  I think it's better than presenting it as a prosified list, at least. I'll get back to you if I have a better idea, though. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 03:20, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, it's sectioned, but the list is still there. I don't see the advantage to turning it into a bulletless list (l"Tirog fought people on speeders, ran from Wookiees, commanded a platoon, spam, eggs, sausage and spam.") or a series of short disconnected sentences ("Tirog shot a speeder.  Tirog crashed a speeder.  Tirog ran from Wookiees.  Run, Tirog, run.") but if everyone else agrees with 4dot that a list is unacceptable, I'll make it a single sentence. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 03:50, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I actually think the bullet point lists is the better option here. --Eyrezer 04:06, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm going to bring this up at the Inq meeting briefly, and get a feel for what the general sentiment is here. I think it's mainly a consistency issue, as we've really uprooted lists where possible, and I can't think of another FA that has one. I think it could be presented as a bulletless list without a sacrifice in quality, since it's not exactly a manifesto or anything, but if it turns out I'm in the unvast minority, I'll concede. Thefourdotelipsis 23:15, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * The BTS is especially nice. --Eyrezer 07:38, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks! &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 11:49, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inq/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:39, 2 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Went through this already; take note - this is how BTS sections are to be done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I like the quick fixes.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:55, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) It was good enough when I read it the first time. :P Thefourdotelipsis 23:34, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:34, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "After a brief discussion between the two Jedi, during which Hett refused to put an end to his campaign of aggression, Kenobi and Hett dueled for supremacy." I wouldn't exactly call it a duel for supremacy. That implies it was an alpha-male type thing.
 * 3) **Reworded. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:48, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Change the caption of th first image (right under the infobox). "Surviving Order 66" sounds strange.
 * 5) **Eh, I think is sounds fine, but I changed it for you, Chack ;) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:48, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * In the last picture (bottom left) depicting is spelled wrong.
 * 7) **Corrected. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:48, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "These claims revolved around the idea that had Kenobi killed Hett following their duel, he could have saved the galaxy untold amounts of grief." Reword to avoid using "untold amounts of grief".
 * 9) **Not sure what was wrong with it, but I've reworded that part for you. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:48, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:40, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * An original creation of mine, from way back in the fall. I just did some expansion on it, so it's FAN time. Oh, and surprise, surprise: it's not TOTJ :P Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:39, 2 April 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inq/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) People need to stop making character FANs. - Lord Hydronium(Oya!) 03:18, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) My one grammatical objection has been addressed. I'm afraid I'm fresh out of gratuitous, invalid, or unreasonable ones. Sorry. -- Ozzel 01:31, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Really, those comments are unneeded. Whatever is going on is between the nominator and objectors, outside comments are not needed to stoke those flames. Professionalism, even when others may not agree on things, should be the route practiced. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 02:05, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Resolved over IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:59, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Very interesting and entertaining read. Thefourdotelipsis 00:01, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:59, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) No trace of the stub I started almost three years ago remains. Hooray for wikis! &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 22:11, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Image objections:
 * 2) * Image:Kast face.jpg: Artifacty.
 * 3) **Replaced.
 * 4) * Image:Jodo Kast.jpg: Awful .jpg artifacts present.
 * 5) **Replaced with a PNG version, cropped straight from the Decipher website GIF.
 * 6) * Image:IG-72.JPG: .jpg artifacts.
 * 7) **No kidding. Better now. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:59, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Image:Jodo-Kast.jpg: You cannot be serious.
 * 9) **That's the highest quality scan Jaymach could get from the source. Take it up with Gamer. - Lord Hydronium 21:41, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Alright. No need to get hostile. --Imperialles 23:55, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ****Didn't mean to. Just touchy over the accusations people are letting fly at me. ;-) - Lord Hydronium 00:56, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***** Just a comment: is that picture supposed to be an image of Kast in a hologram or something? Because it looks to me as though the horizontal lines are deliberate. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 02:32, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ******They are. It's a Mike Vilardi drawing with some sort of overlay. - Lord Hydronium 02:36, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * Image:Kast Explosion.jpg: Artifacty.
 * 15) **Nobody has the comic to scan this, and the artifacts are only visible at very close inspection of the full view (that is, not the one people reading the article will see). I don't think holding up the article over this image will help it at all, frankly. - Lord Hydronium 04:45, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * Image:Kast1.jpg: Artifacty.
 * 17) **Replaced. - Lord Hydronium 04:45, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * --Imperialles 14:21, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) * Infobox image has to change. That really doesn't represent Kast as he is seen most commonly.
 * 3) **His face should be shown, if a canonical image of it exists. The article is on the character, and therefore an image of his character, not his armor, should be the main one. Other people can wear the armor and look the same, and in the case of Thrawn, have, but Kast's appearance is unique. The fact that he has a bit of blood on his face doesn't negatively affect the image to that extent. See Jaster Mereel and Anakin Skywalker for precedence on this. - Lord Hydronium 00:56, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Demoted FAs and articles with no status do not constitute precedence. The opinions of a handful of users, who all happen to be rather chummy with one another, does not constitute consensus. Something more solid on either side would convince me. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:48, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Oh, and this just in: Durge is a featured article with a masked image in the infobox. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:52, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****I cannot see any reason for keeping a masked image in the infobox. It's an article on him, not his armor, and other people have worn the same armor (and therefore looked exactly the same as a masked image of him). But I've said this and it evidently wasn't a persuasive enough argument, so I don't know what else to say. - Lord Hydronium 02:11, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Carnor Jax is another featured article with the mask, and not a very unique mask, to boot. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:14, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *******Hm...can you tell me what rule this is violating? - Lord Hydronium 02:20, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ********Sixteen – Partial head-shot only, not representing what he looked like when not beaten and bloodied, makes a bad infobox image. Not a good portrait at all. Similar to your feelings about text bubbles blanking. Seventeen – Won't pass this particular Inq's review unless a different picture is substituted (won't be hard; just swap it out with one from the article) or a more solid argument for keeping it is given. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:29, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Intro should be expanded a bit, to summarize more information in less general language.
 * 11) **Intros are supposed to be general. It hits up the major points of his career and life. I've made some changes per Top below, though.
 * 12) ***Still needs some fleshing out. A couple sentences more would do the trick. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:48, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Expanded. - Lord Hydronium 02:07, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *****Much better; thank you. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:14, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Death in the intro is vague. Whose jetpack? Please clarify.
 * 16) **Clarified.
 * 17) * Explain in the article the significance of the I2-CG droid, and why the Rebels sent a team in&mdash;and why the Imperials did, for that matter.
 * 18) **Clarified.
 * 19) * Kast warned her about the killing, or the bounty?
 * 20) **Clarified.
 * 21) * Explain who Ponda Baba is, and a bit more about the run-in.
 * 22) **Descriptor of Baba added, no more information on the run-in.
 * 23) * Why was Kast's taking a job with the Empire fortunate for Baba? Explain.
 * 24) **Clarified.
 * 25) * No article/redlink for the type of dart? I've seen lesser things get them.
 * 26) **Link added.
 * 27) * Explain Arno's significance.
 * 28) **Clarified.
 * 29) * Were sent on their way, or just went on their way?
 * 30) **Were sent.
 * 31) * Context is needed for Fett's sarlacc venture.
 * 32) **Clarified.
 * 33) * "Dengar, realizing from the mistakes that Kast had made and the fact that he was pulling a gun on another hunter that it was not Fett, warned him about imitating the other bounty hunter." – Could be reworded for clarification.
 * 34) **Clarified.
 * 35) * A blaster to whose head? What had been a hologram? Clarify.
 * 36) **Clarified.
 * 37) * I don't think Fett was angry that Kast was "no one." He was telling Kast that to insult him.
 * 38) **Meh. Changed.
 * 39) * "was less equipped &hellip; it was equipped" – Please change.
 * 40) **Fixed.
 * 41) * Kast's ship isn't described until the Equipment section, and then only receives a brief mention? I think this needs to be rectified.
 * 42) **No more information. The statement that the Foxcatch is the ship in TEOD is an assumption.
 * 43) * The BtS is very bare-bones, and at the very least needs to be fleshed out with appearance information. Describing the development of his role through his appearances is desired. Were there no retcons involved?
 * 44) **Please be more specific. The only retconning is putting him into an unidentified group of Rebels, but that's trivia and mentioned in the Appearances section.
 * 45) ***Again, it could use just a bit more fleshing out, such as naming which author came up with him, etc. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:48, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ****It's unknown, and I don't think it's proper to assume that the author of the first book to include a character is the one who made them. - Lord Hydronium 02:07, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *****Fair enough. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:14, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * Source list needs to be in order of publication dates.
 * 49) **It is.
 * 50) ***Toprawa also objected on this, so I'll let him manage it. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:48, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * References are not completely linked.
 * 52) **Fixed.
 * 53) * Graestan ( Talk ) 18:18, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) Toprawa:
 * 55) *Can you not find a better image for his infobox? Ideally, should show him in his helmet
 * 56) **His face should be shown, if a canonical image of it exists. The article is on the character, and therefore an image of his character, not his armor, should be the main one. Other people can wear the armor and look the same, and in the case of Thrawn, have, but Kast's appearance is unique. The fact that he has a bit of blood on his face doesn't negatively affect the image to that extent. See Jaster Mereel and Anakin Skywalker for precedence on this. - Lord Hydronium 00:56, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) * The intro as a whole could be rewritten better:
 * 58) ** No reason to have succinct two sentence paragraphs. Condense some.
 * 59) ***They're all three sentences or more.
 * 60) ****Enough with the smart-arse semantics. Cite Rule 1. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) ** The first sentence of the introduction should be written to sum him up in a nutshell in a few words. If you had to explain to someone who Kast was in one sentence, that should be it. Mentioning him as a member of the Alliance before calling him a bounty hunter in this first sentence doesn't give the correct context. Save chronological biography mentions for subsequent sentences.
 * 62) ***But...it's true.
 * 63) ****Cite Rule 1. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) ** Additionally, the first paragraph of the intro could be fleshed out a little bit: where/how did he get his Mandalorian armor? Who mistook him for Fett? How did he capitalize on this case of mistaken identity? It wouldn't hurt to even give a brief mention of the effect it had on Fett himself, as substantial as this is
 * 65) ** Please provide a brief descriptor for Boba Fett, regardless of how well-known he is. Who is he?
 * 66) ***Clarified.
 * 67) **Please rewrite this sentence. It's not really saying anything - too overly generalized: "He won some, he lost some." So? What did this mean for his career? Additionally, who is Adar Tallon? Who is Cornelius Evazan. Provide greater context: "Kast participated in a number of hunts, some successful, some, like those of Adar Tallon and Cornelius Evazan, unsuccessful."
 * 68) ***It's an intro. It's meant to be general. Further context is in the article.
 * 69) ****Cite Rule 1.
 * 70) ** This sentence should be reordered somewhere previously to provide greater context for why he modeled himself after Fett: "Kast concerned himself with building his reputation and establishing himself as a rival to Boba Fett."
 * 71) ***Clarified.
 * 72) * Please provide greater context this for this sentence. Ideally, years of service: "Jodo Kast was once a SpecOps resistance member, fighting for the Rebellion when it was still confined to local insurrections"
 * 73) **No more context exists.
 * 74) * The rest of that first biography paragraph could be beefed up a little bit. Avoid too many simple, single clause sentences.
 * 75) **There's only one single clause sentence. It now has a "However," in front of it for flow.
 * 76) * Please explain what Goratak III is. A planet? Where is the planet located?: "A Plexus Droid Vessel with sensitive information on Rebel manufacturing operations crashed on Goratak III"
 * 77) **Location unknown.
 * 78) * Why is this droid substantial/notable? Was it carrying something? "ejecting an I2-CG droid into that world's Crystal Forests"
 * 79) **Clarified.
 * 80) * Please elaborate on why the Rebellion and Empire were dispatching forces. What were they after? Motives? "The Rebellion dispatched three squads&mdash;Red Smoke, Safari One, and Buzz Boys&mdash;one of which Kast was in, as well as Grindol Maal and the Force-sensitive Wuwuhuul. The Empire sent their own forces, including the Mandalorian Feskitt Bobb."
 * 81) **Clarified.
 * 82) * At the end of this section, please beef up your sentences and paragraphs. No one, two sentence paragraphs. Elaborate and condense: How, specifically, did he come across this armor? "Kast retrieved a suit of Mandalorian armor from the planet Zaadja,"
 * 83) **No information exists.
 * 84) ***For sheer aesthetics, the single-lined, two sentence "paragraph" should be beefed up or tacked onto the end of the previous paragraph. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 85) * Why did he join up with these two? Who are they, specifically? What was his/their reasons for doing so? "It was not long before he joined with fellow hunters Zardra and Puggles Trodd"
 * 86) **They're other hunters; that's already in there. No other information exists.
 * 87) * Please provide a brief description of what Taboon is: "to find Kast in the Red Shadow cantina on Taboon"
 * 88) * Don't assume readers know who or what a concept is, no matter how well-known something may be. Keeping this in mind, please provide a descriptor for who Jabba is. Avoid just dropping concepts in: "Jabba later placed a bounty on her for the killing"
 * 89) **Clarified.
 * 90) * Please confirm that the source explicitly says that it was "believed" that Kast warned from an IU perspective. Additionally, please explain what happened to their partnership? Who left whom? Where did they go? Motives? "Jabba later placed a bounty on her for the killing, which Kast was believed to have warned her about."
 * 91) **Confirmed. No information exists on the rest.
 * 92) * Same with previous objections; who is Ponda Baba? Why did join up with Baba? What did it mean to each of them?Additionally, please rewrite to avoid these simple, single clause sentences: "Kast had a run-with Ponda Baba"
 * 93) **No information exists. And there's nothing wrong with simple sentences.
 * 94) ***What's wrong with them is that they're not well-written. Objection struck, but still cite Rule 1.
 * 95) * Again, to sum up these objections as I go along, you too hastily summarize concepts and ideas without explaining them enough. Please beef up your writing. Who was his partner? How did he kill him? Where did this fight occur? : "The bounty hunter killed Baba's partner"
 * 96) **No information exists. I can't add what isn't there.
 * 97) * He promised him this? Explain this as part of his motivation previously, and please elaborate on this promise: "then reneged on his promise to split the reward with Baba"
 * 98) **No information exists.
 * 99) ***If the information doesn't exist, then remedy the portion of the objection that you can. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * Please rewrite to elaborate on this "mangling" and to avoid the word "now" to stay away from any pretenses of the present tense: "a "doctor" who mangled his patients and who now had a bounty of a million credits on his head"
 * 101) **Elaborated. "Now" is in the context of the timeframe I'm discussing. The past tense in the sentence makes it clear that it's not present.
 * 102) ***Then please rewrite to avoid the use of "now." Cite Rule 1. Don't act like you're helpless and it can't be done.
 * 103) * If possible, please elaborate on who his sources are: "Kast followed the information from his sources"
 * 104) **No information exists.
 * 105) * In the "Early hunts" section you start off every paragraph the same way. Please reword to mix it up a bit
 * 106) **Changed up a bit.
 * 107) * The final paragraph of that section is much too PBPish. Please rewrite a bit.
 * 108) **Please clarify. The only thing I see that is pushing PBP is the blaster shot, which is important since it established a major trait of Evazan (namely the scar).
 * 109) * Also, when you discuss these early hunts, please explain whether or not his clients/targets thought he was Kast or Fett
 * 110) **No information exists.
 * 111) * Please link this to whatever sector we are talking about: "issued a sector-wide bounty"
 * 112) **Added.
 * 113) * Please elaborate on why she had sneaked aboard the ship: "Kast helped deal with a Rebel agent on board, Dana"
 * 114) **Clarified.
 * 115) * Please elaborate on what the station is, where it is, and why the Relentless is there: "As the Star Destroyer was docked at Kwenn Space Station"
 * 116) **Added some context as to why it was there, but as for the rest...it's a station. There aren't really any other details relevant to the article.
 * 117) * Please rewrite to avoid this simplified generalization. Flesh it out: "While the others did battle"
 * 118) **It's an RPG module. What exactly happens is entirely up to the players.
 * 119) * Explain in greater detail what's going on here. He slipped back into the airlock? As in, he was there previously? Where was this airlock on this ship? In the docking bay? What was in the airlock? Did he jettison himself out into space? "Kast slipped back into the airlock"
 * 120) **Clarified.
 * 121) * Please rewrite to simply say "0 BBY" rather than just pipelinking to avoid sticking resync dates like this into the article. Keep in mind that we write for the casual observer, and no one is going to know what this is. To achieve what I believe what you're after, explain that it was in 0 ABY and then provide greater context "X months before the Battle of Yavin" or whatever: "Kast was on Tatooine as early as 35:3:6"
 * 122) **There is no canonical way of listing exact dates in the BBY/ABY system. And since we have an exact date (while the date in relation to the BoY requires assumption), I feel it's best used.
 * 123) ***Then please reword it to clarify for the casual reader. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) * Additionally, this does not mesh or transition well with the previous paragraph. I thought he was already on Tatooine looking for Tallon? Please clarify: "Kast was on Tatooine as early as 35:3:6"
 * 125) **Added a transition, and the last time he's mentioned he's on Kwenn.
 * 126) * Please provide a descriptor for this person: "when he told Spurch Goa"
 * 127) **Added.
 * 128) * Please reword to clarify who you mean here. Goa? Kast? "He and his fellow hunters"
 * 129) **Clarified.
 * 130) * This sentence seems confusing. So, he's randomly going into the Jundland Wastes to keep other hunters in line? I suspect he had another motive for going there. Please explain: "Kast sent Trodd to sign up the other bounty hunters to accompany him on a journey into the Jundland Wastes, his way of keeping the less competent ones in line"
 * 131) **Clarified.
 * 132) * Elaborate here. How did he kill her? Where did he kill her? Did she think he was Fett? "Kast killed Flats"
 * 133) **Elaborate on what could be elaborated on, no information exists for the rest.
 * 134) * Elaborate on why he is threatening this person: "threatening the local Old Arno"
 * 135) **Clarified.
 * 136) * Why is he deciding to eliminate them? Please explain: "had intended to meet with Flats and Arno, he decided to eliminate them"
 * 137) **Clarified.
 * 138) * You write as "the cantina" as though the reader knows what you're talking about. What cantina? Explain and link, please: "drew them into an ambush at the cantina"
 * 139) **No information exists.
 * 140) ***Then please rewrite to say something like "a Tatooine cantina." Again, "the cantina" presupposes that the reader knows what this is, when he does not. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 141) * Please elaborate on what happened here. Did his hunters succeed? Why did he leave? Cowardice? "Kast's hunters fell upon them, their orders to kill, and Kast himself arrived in the middle of the fighting to fire a poison dart at the group, then fled."
 * 142) **No information exists.
 * 143) * How did the Rebels win here? You say in the next sentence that he failed. How, specifically? "The Rebels were ultimately victorious, however, and Kast fled"
 * 144) **No information exists.
 * 145) * This speculation does not belong in the main body of the article. I thought you voted for moving ambig canon into the BTS? At any rate, this is where this piece belongs: "He may have participated in Arden Lyn's combat tournament in this time as well. "
 * 146) **It's not ambiguously canon in the same sense that you're thinking. However, if it is canon it's a valid point that should be brought up in his biography, and "may" is the best compromise I can see. It's like how we treat "possible appearances", and I'm sure I could find precedent on it.
 * 147) ***This is ambiguous canon. He either did appear or didn't appear. Since you claim you can't say either way, it's speculative and ambiguous. BTS material. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 148) * Please provide a little bit of contextual detail here. Don't assume we know what this is, that he "fell into the sarlacc." "even after Fett fell into and later emerged from the sarlacc"
 * 149) **Clarified.
 * 150) * Please elaborate on what/where Fluwhaka is: "independently tracked Nosstrick, the last of Jerresk's crew, to Fluwhaka"
 * 151) **Clarified.
 * 152) * What is a detonator? A thermal detonator? If so, please explain and link: "Nosstrick attempted to ambush Kast with a detonator"
 * 153) **Changed to "explosive device".
 * 154) * Please reword this. You refer to Kast throughout this entire paragraph alternatively as "the bounty hunter" and then randomly switch off to refer to Dengar like this. Confusing: "Kast let Dengar leave, and the bounty hunter, "
 * 155) **Clarified.
 * 156) * This is kind of a random description after you say he was running down the stairs. Should specify that he tripped, fell, whatever: "catching up with Hiicrop as he was sprawled on the floor."
 * 157) **Clarified.
 * 158) ***No, you didn't. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 159) * This section, specifically, of the last paragraph in the Fett section is rather PBP. Please rewrite: "Fett damaged Kast's jetpack, and Kast fell, catching Fett around the ankle; Fett then fired a paralyzing nerve toxin into his neck, and Kast crashed to the ground. Fett stripped Kast of his jetpack, then removed his helmet; upon seeing that Kast was "no one," Fett grew angry and began pulling off Kast's armor as he informed the bounty hunter of the dangers of taking a reputation unearned."
 * 160) **Removed a bit of unnecessary detail.
 * 161) * This description does not match what you have previously, or even what you have later in this same section. The description: "In his years as a bounty hunter, Kast took on only the best-paying jobs" and the previous description: "Though the bounties Kast took were not first rate," and the later description: "though they were not the first-rate jobs". Please clarify this contradiction
 * 162) **That's what canon says. Maybe "first-rate" and "best-paying" aren't the same, we don't know. I'm just stating what the sources say.
 * 163) * Again, avoid speculation in your writing. This description belongs in the BTS.: "He may have participated in Arden Lyn's combat tournament in this time as well."
 * 164) **This is a repeated objection. See previous response.
 * 165) ***And see latest response. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 166) * Please paraphrase direct quotes rather than putting quotes in the article body. That's why we have quote headers: "Jodo Kast never forgets," he was to known to have said"
 * 167) **That's not a rule. And I have precedent for it in Hoth.
 * 168) ***Of course it's not a direct rule. It's a matter of clean prose. Cite Rule 1. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 169) *This rather POV. Please reword to avoid this: "He was not as skilled as Fett"
 * 170) **Skills are not POV.
 * 171) ***To brazenly say someone is better than someone else is POV. Again, as an Inquisitor, you should rightly have the concept of POV down. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 172) * Please elaborate on what kind of ship this is. Do we know where he got it from? When did he use it? "Kast's personal vessel was the Foxcatch"
 * 173) **No information exists. See response to Graestan above.
 * 174) ***No information exists? Is that why we have a whole article for it, including a picture? Please add this information; this makes me wonder what other information this article is lacking that you claim there is "no information" for. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:41, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 175) * The BTS is rather pedestrian and needs to be fleshed out including notable appearances, first creation, talk about Teras Kasi here and expand on his role in the game, etc. I would suggest, in the spirit of Mandalorian armor, to take a look at Fenn Shysa and take some notes from Cull. He knows how to write a good BTS.
 * 176) **No information exists on who created him. First appearance is discussed. Game info clarified. Shysa is lucky in that it has a lot to say about it; not all characters have non-trivial appearance info, though.
 * 177) * Source list is not in correct order.
 * 178) **Fixed.
 * 179) * Please link your references.
 * 180) **Fixed.
 * 181) ***And one final note, Hydro, because I know how you can be, I've experienced your attitude with TwinTail, I'm not about to begin childish pissing matches with you over these objections. You can take them in stride and do your best to address them, or you can choose not to. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:11, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 182) ****Uncalled for. I've addressed what objections I can, but some are unresolvable or misplaced. If you disagree, that's obviously your prerogative, but there's no need to start attacking me on it before I've even responded. - Lord Hydronium 00:56, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 183) *****This disclaimer was not of hostile nature. It was a preventive measure in hopes that you would have recognized the shortcomings of this article and eagerly addressed them for the sake of this website. Your complaining and passive aggression towards me as well as the other objectors to this article in IRC is a direct testament to the very childish pissing I have cited. Your attitude is terrible and very unbecoming of someone in your position on this site, and you should be ashamed of yourself. You have defiantly done only the bare minimum to "address" these objections and fought me where you possibly could. Your efforts are insufficient and this article is not becoming of Featured Status. For the unstricken objections that will remain, I cite Rule 1: an article must be well-written and detailed. Until you have sufficiently rewritten the lacking elements of this article to where I feel comfortable placing my vote to display this on the Main Page, you still have work to do. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:09, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 184) ******Given that you're not willing to admit that some of your objections are invalid, or that not including information that doesn't exist isn't a "shortcoming" (or for that matter, that telling you these things entails "fighting"), all I can do is see what the Inq thinks of them. - Lord Hydronium 02:23, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 185) ******To anyone following this just on the FAN page, we've resolved it in a manner satisfactory to all over IRC. - Lord Hydronium 09:28, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * "Kast participated in a number of hunts, some successful, some, like those of Cornelius Evazan and Adar Tallon, the latter of which took him to Tatooine, unsuccessful." - This sort of reads a bit oddly. Thefourdotelipsis 23:39, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * A rule one objection: "Kast's earlier tendencies to imitate Fett eventually gave way to a stark hatred of the man." Did Kast hate Fett, Fett hate Kast, or both?  On its own, it sounds like the first option, but the context in that paragraph gives rumored reasons why Fett might hate Kast, so the issue gets confused. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 19:17, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Kast hated Fett. I think I know what you mean about those reasons: one is reason for Kast to hate Fett, the other vice versa. It's what the source says, though; and it does put them together in the same context I do in the article. - Lord Hydronium 21:09, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Fair enough. I'll withdraw my objection, though if you can think of a better way to phrase it before it goes on the front page next year, please go for it. 8) &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 22:11, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Second paragraph of the BtS should be moved before the first one, and beefed up with the names of the authors, et cetera. Should also have a bit more appearance info. Also, I heard some (Eyrez, possibly) mentioned that Abel is considering making a retcon that it was Kast in Galaxy of Fear, not Fett. Please look this up and add to the BtS if true. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:17, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've added the authors, but in regards to moving the paragraphs, his death was written a while after he was created. I've combined the paragraphs and added some context to clarify that. - Lord Hydronium 22:57, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just as a note, the infobox images does not have to change at all. I don't know where that one was plucked from. Thefourdotelipsis 22:46, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
 * We'll probably end up needing to get a quorum together on this to overturn those who are being unreasonable. Face &gt; helmet seems like a stunningly obvious idea to me. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:45, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * There's an upcoming Inq meeting at which this could be discussed and voted upon. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:47, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I've added this to the meeting's agenda, as seen here. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 03:12, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:36, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 22:37, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Image:CmdteTallon2.JPG could surely use a rescan.
 * 3) **I will get our resident image doctors on it posthaste.
 * 4) * Is there any information on Tallon's homeworld, early life, etc?
 * 5) **"If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it."
 * 6) ***It would have been nice to get a bit more early background on him, but like you said, if it ain't there... *sigh* Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * "He became a celebrity to the point that "fans" would have posters of him on their walls." A celebrity among whom? Were there any specific exploits that prompted this following?
 * 8) **I've elaborated slightly, but basically he's a celebrity because of everything that proceeds that comment in the bio.
 * 9) * "Tallon did not warm to the new government" sounds a bit stilted...could you reword this clause please?
 * 10) **Rejiggered.
 * 11) * As does this: "Palpatine himself payed attention to Tallon: being a war hero, he could influence the population."&mdash;actually, that whole first paragraph of the "Feigning Death" section could be reworded for style.
 * 12) **I've tweaked that slightly, if you're still not happy I'll tweak, tweak again. ;)
 * 13) * In the P&T section, again, how did he become a celebrity?
 * 14) **Again, basically because of the events in the bio before he feigns his death. This is probably a point that can just be presented as in, and we'll let readers "connect-the-dots" so to speak, since "Fought in Clone Wars and made good" and then "Was a celebrity" kinda makes sense as is. Thefourdotelipsis 06:55, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:28, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:CmdteTallon2.JPG: Quite .jpg artifact-y. --Imperialles 18:42, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Goodwood's too fast for me. --Imperialles 18:58, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * If it aint there, it either aint canon, or the source wasn't listed when I got to it. Thefourdotelipsis 00:53, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Isn't there a pic of him from Galaxies? --Eyrezer 04:34, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Yes, it should be here in the next couple of days. Also, it's horrendous. Thefourdotelipsis 07:00, 4 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Overall this article, while comprehensive and laid out according to rules and such, could use a general uplifting of the quality of its prose. I know you can do better, Dot, so this won't be an actual objection...but it'd be nice if you would take the time to improve the overall flow and style.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 20:38, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 13:02, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 12:04, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Let's just say there's a lot more about Mr. Blissex than I expected. Thefourdotelipsis 13:02, 5 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/2 User/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:03, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thefourdotelipsis 00:34, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) This article was FA quality when it was nominated for GA, but was about 17 words short. Glad you beefed it up a little bit, Acky. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:32, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

(1 Inq/2 User/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:03, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Whippersnapper. Thefourdotelipsis 00:55, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 16:35, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *The intro states that their Force ghosts stayed on Endor for eternity, but the body makes no mention of this eternal state. My objection, therefore, lies in unsourced intro material. Please add a little bit to the body and source
 * 3) **Added a bit to the bio; thanks for pointing that out. :-)
 * 4) *I would still like to see a little bit more added to the P&T describing her connection with the Force and how it allowed her to haunt Sivrak's dreams for a year. Additionally, the story describes her as having purple blood at the Battle of Hoth, IIRC. That could be thrown in there someplace, too.
 * 5) **I've added a bit about the Force stuff to the P&T, and have added a mention of her purple blood. However, I'm not sure it's really necessary, and I'd be happy enough to remove it. Rest assured, when I get around the writing the Florn Lamproid article I will add it in there, also. :-)
 * 6) *I've added a source to the list, which kind of makes the last portion of your BTS lacking/incorrect. Please modify.
 * 7) **Modified.
 * 8) *Also, I can't remember if this was the character we were discussing for a possible BTM appearance, but I'll see if I can't find here in there for ya. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **I believe the character may have been Myo, though I'd say Ibegon has an entry or at least a mention in Sivrak's. If you do find something, I'll be happy to add it in. :-) Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:06, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * The "Reliving the past" section was quite tricky, so I'm open to suggestion on it. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:03, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
 * I wonder if there should be some IU mention of her brief encounter with Ketwol. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 16:35, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Added a mention. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:01, 6 April 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/0 Users/2 Total)
Support Oppose
 * 1) Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:22, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) A very easy read. Good work --Eyrezer 07:16, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm not sure how "canon" this news article is, but I think there is a unique piece of info in it about the "outlaw techs" doing the modifying, rather than Guri herself. --Eyrezer 07:16, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * IRC consensus said canon, so I've added it. Thanks for the pointer. Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:06, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inq/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Gay pirates, ahoy! Thefourdotelipsis 07:38, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) In the proud tradition of our other serious FAs from somewhat ridiculous sources...&mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 19:30, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Shame there isn't more on him. Seems like an interesting character. Even in the galaxy celebrities can generate quite a following. :)  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:24, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Lord Hydronium 01:56, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:38, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Pasta-bowl of Fiolli:
 * 2) * "Llez, a young fan of the fictional Reddjak from Space Pirates of the Galaxy, took it upon himself to save the pirate and join the Red Fury Brotherhood. Grilling the young Majooran for information&hellip;" Just a couple of minor things with this in the intro:
 * 3) **Knowing nothing about either character initially, I was wondering, "Who is the Majooran?" Then I realized it was Llez. Perhaps his culture or home planet could be worked into that first sentence for clarification.
 * 4) **Grilling is a powerful word, but it states later that Reddjak just questioned Llez. Was it an interrogation or casual "Why did you do this, kid?"–kind of questions.
 * 5) * The quote at the top of 1.3, "I've been waiting to do this for a long time, Zell…," implies that there is some backstory to this or extended period of time. Is anything available or was this just simply because he was tired of being bothered by Llez?
 * 6) * I think it might be wise to mention that Llez was accompanied by R2 and 3PO a little earlier in the text and mention why they were assigned to him, if known, or what there role had been thus far (even if it is simply as spectators).
 * 7) * Did the Ambassador know his son was aboard Reddjak's ship?
 * 8) *The final scenes are very thorough comparative to the first portions, but I assume this is the nature of the comic. If there is any way to bolster the earlier portions, I'd say go for it. Otherwise, it was an enjoyable read. Nice work 4dot.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:01, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 10) * Why did Llez feel betrayed by Reddjak?
 * 11) **I've added a tidbit later on, which clarifies that Reddjak didn't tell Llez that he would be attacking Zell, making it understandably shocking to him later when his idol tries to kill his father. I hope that's clearer now.
 * 12) * "...but impatient, which would sometimes cost him the reward at the end of the day." Explain. How does the "end of day" part fit in with the rest?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:35, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Well, I'm use "at the end of the day" here to basically mean "when all is said and done." Thefourdotelipsis 06:57, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***Ah, I see. I took it too literally.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:38, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks to Ozzel for image help and the idea of doing this article in the first place, long, long ago. Thefourdotelipsis 07:22, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Mind sorting out whether Reddjak's ship and Blood Brother are the same ship? I assumed that Abel's comments meant they were, but if not, Reddjak's ship needs to be linked in this article. Cull Tremayne 01:46, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Well, they were one article when I wrote the thing. ;) Thefourdotelipsis 05:41, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * It's apparently more complicated than a simple yes/no, as Abel's 4/4/08 6:03pm post in this thread demonstrates. jSarek 23:14, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Yes, it's over 1,000 words. Yes, barely. Thefourdotelipsis 12:49, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Imperialles 22:43, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) She's pretty in that picture, even though she is wearing a whole set of bed sheets and a comforter.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:24, 8 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:27, 8 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Pasta-bowl of Fiolli:
 * 2) * In the intro: "&hellip;since she seemed to focus on the larger issues of her sector more than her native Thesme." Okay, it is a nit-pick-ery suggestion, but perhaps saying that she focused on the sector rather than exclusively on her home planet. It places the wording in a more positive light, I think.
 * 3) * (Bio:)"Despite her best efforts, her previous ties to Amidala and the more vocally anti-Palpatine Senators forced her to step down from office." Not sure I follow. Was she kicked out by the anti-Palpatine crowd or the pro-Palpatine crowd? Should it also read, "Despite her best efforts and her previous ties to Amidala&hellip;?"
 * 4) * (P&T:) "She soon learned the error of her ways, but was still unable to act while in office&hellip;" What did she learn? What did it cost her? I don't recall this being mentioned earlier. Perhaps this was the confusing section for me.
 * 5) * (P&T:) This section indicates that her helping the sector, rather than just her home planet, was quite a big deal on Thesme. In the intro it is stated as "only minor criticism." Please clarify this.
 * 6) *Good work so far, 4dot. Keep the beat going.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:25, 7 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Two things
 * 8) *"Shessaun" is used in every single sentence in the intro. Could you please rejig a bit to use more pronouns?
 * 9) *This isn't a hard-and-fast objection, but the size of the intro is not in proportion to the size of the main body. The intro is over 200 of the slightly-over-1000 words, and looks a bit strange. Honestly, this is sort of gaming (for want of a better word) the 1,000 word rule, in my opinion. But, as I said, it's not a clear-cut objection; I'm interested as to your response, and we'll take it from there. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:13, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * And the WTS beat goes on... Thefourdotelipsis 12:49, 6 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Anyone from LFL who doubts the success of WTS just needs to look at Fourdot's resume.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:55, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) *Can we get a lead quote for the "Life in the Republic" section, if possible?
 * 3) **There is none.
 * 4) *Please source how her Imperial-class designs were inferior to her father's work.
 * 5) **Already there.
 * 6) *Please clarify this statement: "the daughter of Walex Blissex, the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic". Was he the chief starship engineer for the government, or simply a shipwright who lent his talents to the government?
 * 7) **He was "the starship engineer of the Galactic Republic who designed the Victory-class Star Destroyer". That's the full sentence.
 * 8) * "Blissex was the finest student that her father had ever trained, and she grew up to be a skilled engineer of her own" reads slightly awkward (second clause)
 * 9) **"Of her own" is removed.
 * 10) *"During the Clone Wars, engineers began designing vessels bigger, faster, and more heavily-armed." This is OR and reads awkwardly...perhaps an expansion and clarification, with references?
 * 11) **It's not OR, and it's sourced.
 * 12) *"Her ultimate dream project was the Imperator-class Star Destroyer, which in the wake of her prior success she was able to green-light, using her father's work as the basis of its design." An expansion on this wouldn't go amiss; why was it her dream? What about the design drove her to see it come to life?
 * 13) **There is no more info; see "comments".
 * 14) * You seem to use the phraseology "in his/her own right" a bit too often in the first part of the article.
 * 15) **It's used twice; the second is now removed.
 * 16) *Any information on how she met Wessex and chose to marry him?
 * 17) **No. See my statement under "Comments".
 * 18) *Why was Denn Wessex considered a starship genius?
 * 19) **Not known. See statement under "Comments".
 * 20) * In the first paragraph of the "The New Empire" section, you use 'political clout' twice, in the first and last sentences. A substitute is desired for one or the other.
 * 21) **Changed.
 * 22) *Please elaborate on what caused the rift between Lira and her father.
 * 23) **Already there. "Wessex saw the new Empire as an opportunity and gladly accepted the New Order, putting her at odds with her father and his beliefs."
 * 24) *"Entire planets had smaller gross domestic products than the cost of a single one of these new warships, and heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." Ponderous and awkward.
 * 25) **Split into two sentences.
 * 26) ***"Heated debate between the military strategists of the Imperial Navy, the Imperial Military Oversight Commission, and the soon-defunct Senate Budgetary Committee over the vessel even risked destroying the Empire." This sentence is still unclear; did the debates threaten to destroy the Empire, or did they fear that building the Imperial-class ships would destroy the Empire?
 * 27) *Please elaborate on the ultimate fate of the Imperial-class in relation to Wessex and what inspired her to create the Executor-class. Also, if possible, expand on her involvement in that project as well.
 * 28) **Everything on her involvement is there. See "Comments". The inspiration for the Executor-class is already there.
 * 29) *"Wessex was unconvinced, and threatened Kolaff to capture them alive before the ship self-destructed." Threatened him with what?
 * 30) **He says he'll catch them, she says she hopes so, "for your sake". It's a non-committal threat.
 * 31) *"Kolaff was defeated by the Rebels in an AT-ST duel" Something exciting like this surely deserves a bit more expansion.
 * 32) **If this were Kolaff's article, it would. Not relevant to Wessex, though.
 * 33) * "Wessex, whose reputation had taken a blow with her failure on the Subjugator, was interested; however, she kept this information to herself, intended to personally present the droid to the Empire once it had proven itself" needs fine-tuning.
 * 34) **Clarified.
 * 35) *Please elaborate on what an Evolution Droid does and its role in the crisis.
 * 36) **Already there.
 * 37) * Military ranks should not be capitalized unless referring to s specific person. "She made a transmission to Captain Orsk of the Star Destroyer Dauntless, informing the Captain of the attack".
 * 38) **Changed.
 * 39) *"While her mercenaries kept the Rebels distracted, Wessex fled the hangar out onto a narrow ledge encircling Cloud City, bounded on one side by the city's edge and the other by a drop of miles into the clouds of Bespin." Awkward.
 * 40) **Split into two sentences.
 * 41) ***Second sentence is still awkward.
 * 42) *"She was cold and aloof—even masculine" -- eh? Is there a source for that?
 * 43) **Yes. And it's already there.
 * 44) * In the BtS: Surely the first and second paragraphs can be merged. Also, the third one should be expanded upon.
 * 45) **There's only one paragraph in the BTS. - Lord Hydronium 03:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) *My fault. I meant the P&T with that last objection. Can the first and second paragraph be merged, with the third expanded upon?-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRR!!!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:22, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) BtS should include who created her, and probably a tad more sources/appearances info. For precedent, please see any of the last sixty odd FAs in the queue. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:53, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) *We don't know who created her. It's an assumption to say it was the person who wrote the original source (and since there are two authors, we don't even know which one it was, at that). As for source info, I don't believe any more can be added without devolving into trivia; it covers her first mention, her only actual appearances, and says the rest are basically repeating the information from the first mention. - Lord Hydronium 22:05, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) **Fair enough. I still think the authors could be mentioned and the BtS rejigged a bit to look like others FAs' (something like "Lira Wessex was first mentioned in the Star Wars Sourcebook, written by Bill Slavicsek and Curtis Smith..."), but it's not a big deal. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:11, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) ***That's a fair addition. Added. - Lord Hydronium 22:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Few things to get out of the way:
 * That gray smudginess on the one image of Lira isn't a bad scan, it's the way the art is.
 * We don't know who the intro quote is to.
 * If there's an aspect of her life that's not in there, it's probably not known. Also, if there's a source in the sources list that isn't referenced, there's no unique info there.
 * The BTS really says all there is to say about her that isn't trivial or already said in the sources section. - Lord Hydronium 09:47, 7 April 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Thefourdotelipsis 06:21, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * I think you are going to want to use this. --Eyrezer 06:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * More likely, you will not. However, it could be worth a mention in the BTS. --Eyrezer 06:51, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Can we get an imagecat for Vanis, please.--Eyrezer 06:45, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * Imagecat sez: Dun. Thefourdotelipsis 08:03, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Small nitpick, but you may want to explain this: "The Dark Lord of the Sith brutally tortured Vanis, effectively making a vegetable of the man when he was through" for those who might not understand what "vegetable" might mean in this instance. -- Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 07:37, 9 April 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Meh. Good enough.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 08:15, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
 * 2) *Infobox image not exactly up to snuff on quality. Please substitute another or get a re-scan.
 * 3) *Set up who Grievous is a little in the intro.
 * 4) *"Alongside Mirialan Jedi Padawan Barriss Offee, Pablo-Jill fought against thousands of battle droids in the arena; however, they were both soon separated from the rest of the Jedi, and had been left behind by the LAAT/i gunships led by Grand Master Yoda." – Iron out tense awkwardness.
 * 5) *Give some context for the Battle of Coruscant.
 * 6) *Not so keen on referring to Fisto as "Jedi Councilor," as IU I haven't really seen the term.
 * 7) *Explain Grievous's firing on innocents. Is there more info?
 * 8) *Were the other senior Jedi really worried for their own safety?
 * 9) * Graestan ( Talk ) 23:30, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Written some months ago for GA. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments