Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Kendal Ozzel

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 19:50, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I'm taking an awful risk here, Vader... This had better work.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:07, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 16:40, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I will be keeping an eye on it since there might be some new information scattered around.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:09, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Greyman ( Talk ) 15:51, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the Command Bridge of Director Thrawn:
 * 2) *Intro:
 * 3) ** "..wealthy family owning land..." should be "wealthy landowning family."
 * 4) ** Change the last part of the first paragraph to: "Ironically, Ozzel did not achieve his goal of high rank due to his loyalty or skills, but his disloyalty, as the Emperor's Hand Mara Jade advised Darth Vader to keep him under close supervision."
 * 5) ** Ozzel was not the Admiral of Death Sqaudron, no such title exists. Say he was the ranking officer of Death Squadron.
 * 6) ** add "his senior subordinate, Captain Firmus Piett".
 * 7) * Infobox:
 * 8) ** I feel that Ozzel is over associated. Rather than have Imperial Navy and Death Squadron, just have Death Squadron, since that was the facet of the Navy he was in.
 * 9) ***No, that's correct as is. We list all tiers of a faction, if known. Thefourdotelipsis 13:47, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ****Oh, very well.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 14:15, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ** Ozzel has a blond mustache.
 * 12) *Ascension and Death:
 * 13) ** Change "He was assigned as the commander..." to "He was assigned to the Executor, the flagship of both Darth Vader and the task force Death Sqaudron, as its commanding officer, with Captain Firmus Piett as his senior subordinate."
 * 14) **Try to milk as much info out of ESB as possible.
 * 15) * BTS:
 * 16) ** Several parts of the BTS are unsourced.
 * 17) ***While this was changed, for future reference it didn't have to be. All parts of the BTS were sourced, if not by tags then by statements that sourced themselves by stating their source within the sentence. - Lord Hydronium 14:22, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Just to add to this, the way it is now I'd call it overreferenced. - Lord Hydronium 14:25, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) ****That's what I was thinking. I'll remove them, if they haven't been removed already. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 18:40, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ** Rather than say who thought what about him, try to include all their opinions in one blow.
 * 21) ** Change "action" to "actions".
 * 22) ** "Active" should be "activate".
 * 23) ** Change "a large majority" to "the majority".
 * 24) * Though not an official objection, I'd like for the Black Nebula red link to be filled in if possible.
 * That's about all I can think of at this moment, I may try and fix somethings myself after my objections have been addressed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 12:55, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Uh, if there is no such title of "Admiral of Death Squadron," why is he the admiral in charge of Death Squadron? Otherwise, done. Additionally, I don't have Scoundrel's Luck, so I can't do anything about the Black Widow Nebula redlink. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:43, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * There is no "Admiral of Death Squadron" but there is "Commander of Death Squadron".-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 14:15, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Fine, "Admiral in charge of Death Squadron." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 18:40, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One
 * 2) * Mention should be made that Ozzel attended the finest naval academy on Coruscant.
 * 3) * Mention should be made that Ozzel achieved the rank of Captain of the Line before being transferred to the Coruscant Naval Academy, and that he was transferred because his superiors felt he was not able to command in the field.
 * 4) * Mention should be made that he taught naval history and languages at the academy.
 * 5) * For the Personality and traits section, no mention is made of his bullish attitude and lack of common sense, his argumentative attitude, his being a disciplinarian and stickler for rules, and his bias against females and non-humans while teaching at the academy.
 * 6) *All the above is from the Official Star Wars Fact Files. If you need help on some of it, let me know. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 23:01, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **If you could leave me details on each of your comments on my talk page with the specific Fact File they came from, I'd be more than happy to add the information in the article. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 02:44, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Just to let you know, I'll have this taken care of by tonight; it's a busy day for me. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 19:01, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:05, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Happy to help with the content, but there's a few other things about the article I noticed. Please see below. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:48, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One, second run
 * 12) * An expansion on the situation on Teardrop, with a link to the Teardrop massacre should be included.
 * 13) **Okay - more expansion is needed here I feel. Remember, context is everything. Why were the Rebels on Teardrop? How did the Empire learn of their presence? How were the Rebels able to escape? Why was the Millennium Falcon there? Why did the Empire chose to kill innocent civilians? Also, mention Dreflin's involvement on the surface and his altercation with Daric LaRone which led to his death.
 * 14) ***Frankly, I don't think all that is needed, as they had nothing to do with Ozzel. I added why Ozzel was there and what he did in the system, but I don't want the paragraph to end up sounding like a summary of the first few chapters of Allegiance. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:29, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Include details of the plans to kill Mara Jade.
 * 16) **A little something on why Ozzel agreed to eliminate Jade is needed - did he believe that the Stormtrooper desertion incident would look bad on his record, etc. Also, why was the Falcon at the pirate base in the first place?
 * 17) ***I've added why he agreed, but again, I think that adding why the Falcon was there has nothing to do with Ozzel. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:29, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * It's been a while since I read Allegiance, but does Ozzel have any reaction to/ knowledge of/ direct contact with/ orders to deal with the Hand of Judgment?
 * 19) * Concerning the information regarding the differing viewpoints on his ascension to Admiral: consider removing He led Death Squadron alongside Vader into a battle against the Rebel fleet in .75 ABY that ended in a Rebel escape., from the end of the third paragraph of Ascent, and adding the first three lines from the fourth paragraph to the third, from "Speculation abounded ... to ... members of the general staff". This will consolidate all the information on his promotion into one paragraph.
 * 20) * Following on from the last comment, add the line removed from the third paragraph to the fourth paragraph, since the fourth will now deal with his actual command of the vessel. This may require a little rewriting so it fits.
 * 21) * Not an objection - regarding the BTS info on the origination of Ozzel's first name - this link may be useful to you as it confirms the existance of the Danny Kendall character in the series, and a small piece on his relationship with Sheard's character. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:48, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **I've done some of it, but the rest will have to wait until this evening. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:09, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Having been busy all week, I'll try to get this done tomorrow night. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 18:51, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:22, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *****Okay, I struck most of them, but I still feel more expansion on the Allegiance events is needed. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:51, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 27) * Allegiance info needs a mention in intro. His role is certainly large enough.
 * 28) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 01:03, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) ***More, please. Trying to kill an Emperor's hand and being embroiled in that sort of sector intrigue is certainly relevant. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:16, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:37, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * "He attended the finest naval academy" Some POV here.
 * 32) **That's what it says in the sources. Can't help that. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) ***Irrelevant. The sources don't have to be neutral, especially if they're IU. Our article has to be. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) ****Regardless, it needs to be shown that he attended the finest naval academy. It's important to the article. Unless you can find a better way to word it, I'm not going to remove it. I may be acting rude; if so, I apologize, but I really want that kept in the article. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) *****I placed a fix in there. "the finest naval academy" vs. "What was considered the finest naval academy." An even better fix would be to say who called it the finest naval academy, if that information is available. (e.g. "What was considered the finest naval academy by _____".) Since you're new to the FAN page, I'm trying to help out, but future reviews shouldn't be carried out like this. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:42, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) ******It doesn't say who considered it to be the finest. Like I noted above, all it says in the source is that Ozzel attended the finest naval academy. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:58, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) *******I understand that and the point I'm trying to make is that you simply can't say that in the article. Since the narrator of the Fact Files is unknown, it can be left with the fix I've inserted, but for future reference, even if the source says "Vader was the finest duelist" or "attended the best naval academy", that's still POV and cannot be placed in the article. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:16, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) * 2nd para of Early life is out of order chronologically. Please amend.
 * 39) **How so? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 21:52, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) ***It seems to me that you should place Solo's trial before the instructor stint, since it was only for "a short time" and Solo's court-martial was well before Yavin. That said, I haven't read the relevant sources aside from the Han Solo Trilogy. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Will do. Thanks for clearing that up; I don't have the Han Solo trilogy. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) *****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) * I'm fairly certain it's called Reprisal throughout Allegiance, not the Reprisal. Please adjust accordingly.
 * 44) **I'm afraid I don't understand what you're getting at. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) ***If the warship is referred to as "Reprisal went here and did things" and not "the Reprisal went here and did things" in Allegiance, then the extra "the" needs to be removed. IIRC, Reprisal is the canon usage. Could be wrong there, it's been a few months. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ****Does it really matter? I thought there was a policy here to put "the" before the name of a ship, with a few exceptions like Home One and Slave One. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *****Besides, I see "the Reprisal" used a lot. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:19, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) ******A check of Allegiance shows it is "The Reprisal". For future reference, it does matter and we follow canon. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:42, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) * Context on Mara Jade needed in the body.
 * 50) **How much more do I need? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) ***Your first mention just says "Mara Jade". Throw in a few adjectives or something to give us context; the reader might not know who that is. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) ****Will do. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) *****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * "The colonel's reasoning was that agents could easily end up somewhere during a military strike and be killed." You switch from Mara being a lone agent to "agents". While I do know the storyline behind this, it's not clear in the article.
 * 55) **The colonel specifically said that agents die all the time. Not my wording, but his. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) ***It's still not clear and you could still mention her ISB colleagues that she picked up to clarify it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) ****Well, I suppose I could clarify by adding "Imperial agents, such as the Emperor's Hand, could easily..." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) *****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) * No context on Gillia.
 * 60) **There's really nothing else I can write about it without going into too much detail on the Hand of Judgment. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) ***A few words is all I'm asking. You can't just introduce a planet name, character, or ship without giving some descriptor. Case in point: The light freighter Millennium Falcon vs. Millennium Falcon. The first is a better way of wording it and provides basic context. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) * Is there a real need to harp on his stupidity twice in the same line in P&T?
 * 64) **Which line? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) ***"Kendal Ozzel was considered . . . stupid." and "Darth Vader considered Ozzel . . . stupid." It's the same thing and it's redundant. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * "He was a disciplinarian, and every detail had to be perfect." Not very clear and contradictory in light of lax nature of stormtrooper discipline.
 * 68) **Fact File says he was a disciplinarian and every detail had to be perfect, and Allegiance says he let off-duty soldiers walk around without their armor. Can't change that; sorry. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) ***Then you'll need to come up with an acceptable way of phrasing it or make a note of the contradiction in BtS, but regardless, it needs to be addressed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) * More P&T data on the lengths he was willing to go to in order to cover his back from Allegiance would be good.
 * 72) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:31, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) * You'll need to provide an exact reference on that official site mention.
 * 74) **What mention? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 75) ***"and later made its way to the official website." This is sitting in the BTS without a reference. Please find one and add it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:59, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) ****I'm afraid I can't help you there. That was the biggest issue I had involving referencing. Would a link to the Databank suffice? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 77) *****No, a Databank link won't suffice. Fair warning: If you don't find that link, this won't be a Featured Article any time soon. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:42, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) ******I'll just remove it, then. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:17, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 79) *******Rather, I simply added that the name made its way to the Databank and added a ref. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:54, 4 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) ********Much better. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:16, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:08, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 83) * "to increase his standing in the Navy" -- no previous mention is made of the Navy before this, so it's kind of sudden. Please document that he joined the Navy, etc. before talking about his machinations.
 * 84) **I moved it to the P&T section. I think it's better off there. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 85) ***The transition is still rather sudden; it talks of how he used the family name to rise through the ranks of the military, and then states that he attended the naval academy. Please revise this. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) ****Frankly, I don't think it's sudden. The only way I could possibly fix this is by putting "He attended what was considered the finest naval academy on Coruscant." at the beginning of the next paragraph. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:40, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 87) *****Is this satisfactory? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:18, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) *Some mention of what being a "captain of the line" curtailed would be good.
 * 89) **I would add something, but there's no mention of what he did as a Captain of the Line. I could speculate about what he did in that rank based on the Captain of the Line article, but there's really nothing I could use. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) ***Some sort of the explanation would help, I think. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 91) ****Like I said, there's no record of what he did as a Captain of the Line; speculating on it would not work. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:40, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) *****We know he was a Captain of the Line. We know what a captain of the line did. If you want to avoid saying that Ozzel did anything, just include a description of what a genetic Captain of the Line did. If you're careful with the wording, you'll be fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:47, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 93) ******Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:34, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) *The first two sections seem of kind of...skin and bones. Things aren't elaborated enough, and stuff seems thrown in without care to make it fit. Also, "Solo later sighted Ozzel aboard the Executor-class Star Dreadnaught Executor in the Black Widow Nebula before the vessel was officially launched" should be rewritten from Ozzel's point of view, and clarified somewhat.
 * 95) **I'm afraid I don't have Scoundrel's Luck (where the info on Ozzel onboard the Executor in the Black Widow Nebula came from). Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) ***That is unfortunate, but the objection must stand.
 * 97) ****I reworded the sentence in question to be from Ozzel's point-of-view, but I'll need to find someone with Scoundrel's Luck to get all the information. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) *****Info from Scoundrel's Luck added, thanks to help from Jaymach. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:42, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 99) ******I don't know what else to add to this section; as far as I can tell, that's all the info. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:18, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * No context on the Millenium Falcon, and Solo is reintroduced in "Ascent" rather suddenly, as if the article assumes readers are already familiar with the source material.
 * 101) **I believe I've taken care of that now. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) * Wasn't Mara an Emperor's Hand and not the Emperor's Hand?
 * 103) **Allegiance (and Ozzel) refer to her as the Emperor's Hand if I'm not mistaken, but... done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) ***Fair enough, but Ozzel was speaking out of ignorance. Thanks for changing it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) *" Regardless of the nature of these rumors" -- this doesn't seem right (or "encyclopedic" or whatever). Please remove, reword, or clarify.
 * 106) **Removed "of the nature of these rumors." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 107) * I haven't read My Brother, My Enemy, but surely the info from it could be expanded. Like a lot of other stuff in the article, it seems to have been thrown in haphazardly without proper explanation.
 * 108) **There's nothing more. He just stands there and says one line. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) ***But, presumably, his ship/the fleet/whatever does a lot more than that one line, and all of that is relevant to Ozzel.
 * 110) ****True. I'll take care of it when I find the comics in my ever-growing pile of comics I finished reading. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:48, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 111) *****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:36, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 112) * "In 1 ABY the Rebels managed to plant seeds of discord between Vader's fleet commanders. Ozzel took the bait and believed the rumors that said that Vader wanted to replace him with a junior officer" -- this needs to be explained properly. How did the Rebels managed to plant seeds of discord?, how exactly did Ozzel "take the bait"?, etc.
 * 113) **Don't have the relevant source. Sorry. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 114) ***You might want to try this site for info. I've often used it in the past for Galaxies info and it is fairly comprehensive. You could also try the Star Wars Galaxies Wiki, which is supposed to be in good shape. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:47, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) ****Not finding anything on either site. I searched for "Sow Discord" on both sites, and there's nothing. I'll ask around IRC for info. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:34, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 116) *****Removed on the advice of Darth Culator on IRC. It seems that Ozzel does not appear in Galaxies at all, as the mission "Sow Discord" does not exist. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:42, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 117) * "Additionally, Ozzel would publicly criticize Vader." If the info exists, please say when, in what context, to whom, and give any examples of this occurring.
 * 118) **If I recall correctly, it was only briefly mentioned in a Fact File article, without any details. I'll check on that, though. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 119) * The last paragraph of "Ascent" could be fleshed out a bit, I would think. Also, "Ascent" seems appropriate for only some of the content of the section, as the second half pertains to happenings after his ascent.
 * 120) **I think I may have fixed this when addressing Toprawa and Ralltiir's objection. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 121) *Have you checked the ESB novel, radio, or Marvel adaptations for info? Surely there is some.
 * 122) **I checked the Marvel adapation, but I don't have access to the novel or radio adaptations. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:33, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 123) ***I've added info from the radio adaptation/script. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 124) ****Added a little from the novel. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 16:06, 19 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 125) *****Is anything else from the novel needed? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:18, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) *Generally, things -- even things you may not think are all that relevant to Ozzel -- need to be properly explained, contextified, and expanded; the majority of the article, in fact. It's good at the minute, and I applaud you for choosing a relatively major character for your first solo FAN, but it is still not up to FA scratch, IMHO, and still has some ways to go.
 * 127) **Some examples of "things" would be helpful. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:34, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) ***"Things" means objects, people, ships, places, etc that are introduced in the article. Examples are included in several of my above objections. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:51, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 129) **More later. Just to note, I won't be very active for the next week at least, so I may be slow to respond to or strike objections. My apologies. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:42, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 130) Toprawa:
 * 131) *You're missing info from the ESB radio drama and RD script. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:16, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) **Don't have either. If you could provide a link to the script, that would be helpful. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:31, 5 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 133) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:00, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 134) ****Anything else, Toprawa? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:18, 7 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 135) *Intro objections:
 * 136) ** This sentence is very quickly glossing over this whole bit while skipping out on some necessary contextual details. Don't be afraid to beef up the intro a little bit with Allegiance info. I'd like to see you work in a bit about why Jade arrived aboard the Reprisal and exactly what/why the group is deserting: "At the same time, Emperor's Hand Mara Jade arrived aboard the Reprisal, and Ozzel planned to kill her in order to prevent the knowledge of a group of deserters from hurting his chances at becoming an admiral."
 * 137) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) ** Working off the previous objection, you might do well to do a little bit more to detail his plot to kill her, beginning in the next paragraph.
 * 139) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 140) ** Ok, well, what disloyalty are we talking about? Did Jade and Vader discover his plan to kill her? This needs some context: "Ironically, he did not become an admiral due to his loyalty or skills, but his disloyalty."
 * 141) ***If I recall correctly, Jade never had any proof, just her suspicions. I made mention that Jade did not trust him. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 142) ** I don't think this is exactly true. Unless I'm mistaken, he was never the Captain of the Executor, but the Admiral. I'd like to see this reworded to reflect this: "Ozzel became both the commander of Vader's flagship, the Star Dreadnought Executor, and the admiral in command of Death Squadron"
 * 143) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 144) ** I'd also like to see something in here specifying that he was the second admiral to lead the Executor.
 * 145) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 146) ** I've moved the bit about Imperial personnel considering him to be stupid to the beginning of the intro. As such, you currently have the duplicate sentence still remaining in the final paragraph. I'd like to see you replace that bit with something describing how Ozzel's searches for the Rebel base were pointless and unproductive and that his hyperspace exit blunder was the last straw, Vader had finally had enough of him, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:06, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 147) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:42, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 148) **Are we sure about this? I seem to remember that they were spurned to desertion more because of the murder of the ISB agent, and that they left the Reprisal out of a necessity to survive, not really a disenchantment with the Empire: "The incident prompted a group of stormtroopers, led by Daric LaRone, to desert from the Imperial Military." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:42, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 149) ***I'm pretty sure about it, but I'll check this afternoon. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 11:09, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 150) ****I decided to reword it. Is this okay? "The incident, followed by the murder of ISB Major Drelfin by stormtrooper Daric LaRone, prompted a group of troops under LaRone to desert from the Imperial Military and flee the Star Destroyer." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 11:29, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 151) Missing info from  and, with regards to the Imperial Propaganda about his death and Executor ' s unveiling.. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:36, 25 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 152) *You wouldn't happen to have both, would you? I'm afraid I don't have those as well. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:08, 25 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 153) **Done. Thanks for the help. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 22:45, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 154) Fiolli's Famous Pasta Bowl:
 * 155) * "Ironically, he did not become an admiral due to his loyalty or skills, but his disloyalty, as Mara Jade advised Darth Vader to keep him under close supervision." Does the sentence end at disloyalty or at skills with the other part being a separate idea? Please reword and clarify.
 * 156) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 157) * The first paragraph of the biography is only two sentences long. Please merge this with the next or reshuffle the sentences to "beef things up."
 * 158) **Merged. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 159) * "He attended what was considered the finest naval academy on Coruscant." Do we have a name of the academy? Does the Fact File (or any other source) list it as "the finest" or "one of the finest"? If not, this is not neutral in POV.
 * 160) **No name for the academy, and the Fact File does indeed label it as the finest naval academy. Ironically, this same thing was brought up in Atarumaster's objections, and he ended up adding "what was considered the finest naval academy." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink)
 * 161) * Not necessarily an objection, but more of a question: "Ozzel was later aboard the Executor-class Star Dreadnaught Executor in the Black Widow Nebula before the vessel was officially launched. Solo and Chewbacca were captured by the Executor, and Ozzel interrogated Solo onboard the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer about his presence in the nebula." The reference-note that is inserted about Ozzel appearing on condition of the player is good, but is his appearance considered canon?
 * 162) **I'm not quite sure, considering the book is a make-your-own-adventure. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:44, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 163) ***Added "It is unknown if this is considered canon" to the reference. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 164) **** Ok, so I do have an objection then: and  need to be used around all the material that is from Scoundrel's Luck and this material should also be in a separate paragraph regardless of length.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:54, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 165) *****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 166) * First paragraph of Ascent: The reference-note states that it is assumed he was present. Does the Adventure Journal say he was present? If his title is incorrect, discuss it in the BtS as a continuity issue and possibly in the main body of the article if it can be properly worked in. For example, "Even though misidentified as the Admiral of&hellip;" if SWAJ can be considered IU.
 * 167) **He's indeed present. I forgot about adding that into the BtS; I make sure to do that when I get the chance. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:44, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 168) ***Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 169) ****Anything more needed to be done here? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 170) * Also, the first paragraph of "Ascent" is only one sentence long. Please reorganize this section.
 * 171) **Merged into next paragraph. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 172) * "Ozzel later oversaw the massacre of "Rebel sympathizers" on the planet, ordered by Imperial Security Bureau Major Drelfin and blamed it on Rebel agitators present in the town." Expand slightly on the massacre, since it wasn't a bombardment from Ozzel's ship; it was a ground operation.
 * 173) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 174) * "When stormtrooper Daric LaRone killed Drelfin in self-defense after confronting him about the killing of civilians on Teardrop, he fled the Reprisal with a group of fellow stormtroopers who witnessed the killing." Please reword. I think I understand what you are trying to say, but it is a bit convoluted.
 * 175) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 176) * "Ozzel and Colonel Somoril mistakenly believed that the subsequent arrival of Emperor's Hand Mara Jade, who at the time was investigating a group of pirates known as the BloodScars in connection to six stolen paintings found in Moff Glovstoak's possession, in Shelsha sector was part of a high-level investigation into the incident, and they conspired in an unsanctioned scheme to kill her after discovering that she had accessed the ship's personnel files, bridge log, and flight log." This needs to be broken up.
 * 177) **Broken up. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 178) *** Can it be broken apart further? This is still confusing.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:54, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 179) ****Better now? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 180) * "Regardless, Ozzel was in command of hunting down the Alliance High Command headquarters using whatever devices he deemed necessary." Regardless of what? When starting a new section, the prior should be referenced if possible in transitional clauses.
 * 181) **It was originally "Regardless of the nature of these rumors," the "rumors" part referring to Vader supposedly wanting to replace Ozzel with a junior officer. This was removed after its reference proved to be false; I'll just removed "Regardless." Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:44, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 182) ***Removed. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 183) * "One of these raids proved to be successful, as Ozzel led Death Squadron alongside Vader from the Executor into a battle against the Rebel fleet in .75 ABY after Rebel mathematician-turned-brainwashed Imperial agent Jorin Sol attempted to assassinate the Rebel commanders aboard their flagship Rebel One and Imperial Lieutenant Janek Sunber tried to capture Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa to deliver them to Vader." Please break this up.
 * 184) **Broken up. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 185) * "Ozzel publicly criticized Vader while in this position." Was Ozzel aboard Avenger for his remarks, or was merely the fleet in that formation?
 * 186) **A bit of a mistake on my part. I'll fix it. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:44, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 187) ***Fixed. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 188) * "Following the battle, Ozzel's remains were sent to his homeworld of Cardia, where he was honored at a ceremony at the Corulag Academy." The Corulag Academy is on Corulag and not Cardia. Perhaps the SWAJs are not that accurate in their information. Mention this in the continuity issues of the BtS as well.
 * 189) **No, the AJs say "Corulag," and explicitly state that its his homeworld. This obviously contradicts what we already know from the Databank. Is the Databank the only source to establish his homeworld as Carida? I dunno what you want to do, Tranner. Perhaps you could make the bit in the biography more ambigious, just stating it was taken to the academy on his homeworld? And a BtS note obviously. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:54, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 190) ***I'll go with your suggestion, Ackbar. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:44, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 191) ****Added. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 192) ***** I would not even mention an academy, since we have nothing to suggest that Cardia had one as Corulag did. I think mentioning a ceremony is fine, but no exact location.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:54, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 193) ******Sure thing. Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 194) * "Kendal Ozzel was considered inept, disloyal, easily manipulated, and stupid,&hellip;" By whom? Add then end the sentence there and begin the next sentence with something such as "These traits made many wonder&hellip;."
 * 195) **Added. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 196) * The quote at the head of the P&T suggests he is predictable. Add this somewhere into this section.
 * 197) **Added. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 198) *Some additional thoughts:
 * 199) **I would do a double-check through the article and make certain you have a good rotation of sentence subject alternatives. (ie. "Ozzel&hellip;," "He&hellip;," "The Admiral&hellip;," etc.) I tried to balance it a bit, but keep an eye out for it.
 * 200) ***I think it's pretty good. Let me know if you think otherwise. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 201) **Lastly, be careful of run-on sentences.
 * 202) ***I don't think I have any run-on sentences in there anymore, but I could be wrong. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 203) *Keep up the hard work, Tranner, and this will become an FA.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 04:05, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 204) **Thanks! Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:46, 9 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 205) More pasta:
 * 206) * "as a result, it is not clear whether or not Ozzel was indeed present at the commissioning ceremony as the Adventure Journal claims." Actually, no. The AJ's mention of his attendance is not what is called into question; rather, it is his rank and position.
 * 207) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 208) * The last paragraph of death is only one sentence.
 * 209) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 210) * Scoundrel's Luck should be in the "Appearances" list and not the "Sources" list. I'd move SL, but I don't know exactly what year it takes place in to determine where it would go on the list.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 02:54, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 211) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:39, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 212) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 213) * Setting up that he was an admiral first thing in the intro would be nice, especially since he's known as "Admiral Ozzel" on-screen.
 * 214) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 215) * "He originally served&hellip;" – You should mention his academy time and prior duties to this assignment.
 * 216) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 217) * A more direct explanation for Ozzel's promotion to admiral is needed in the intro, instead of the current allusion.
 * 218) **I added that Vader took Jade's advise and had Ozzel promoted. I don't know if this is as direct as you would like it. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 219) *No setup or initial link for the Executor!? Please remedy this.
 * 220) **In the Ascent section? Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 221) ***Some explanation of Executor there is necessary; why it was important, etc. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:55, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 222) ****Added some context on it (future flagship of Vader). Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 223) * Could you perhaps change around a bit of the wording heading up paragraphs summarizing the Admiral's exploits? It has a certain "Ozzel did this, Ozzel did that" quality at this time that I'd like to remedy.
 * 224) **Should be a little better now. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 225) * In the P&T, it sounds as though Vader only considered Ozzel inept just prior to his death, but in the bio it seems Vader was building up to this conclusion and had plenty of evidence beforehand. Which is it?
 * 226) **Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 227) *Also in the P&T, a sort of blame game and enmity between Ozzel and Piett is mentioned, but is not exactly established in the bio. Shouldn't this be added somewhere in "Hunt for the Rebel headquarters?"
 * 228) **I believe this was mentioned in passing in Galaxy Guide 3: The Empire Strikes Back. If so, I'll get back to you on this one. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 229) ***I was right. I added a bit on the discourse between the two in the "Hunt for the Rebel headquarters" section. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:01, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 230) ****This brings me to a question: Did you actually go through every source, then? These instances lead me to believe there may be more missing information.
 * 231) *****It's not that the information was missing - I simply forgot to add it into the main biography. I received info from the sources that I do not have access to from others, so there is a slight possibility that some minor information is missing. Regretfully, I wouldn't be able to do anything about that. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 232) *You might mention in passing that Sheard played Hitler a number of times besides The Last Crusade.
 * 233) **Done, but I should probably get a ref tag - I don't know what to source that with. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 234) ***IMDB. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:55, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 235) ****Thanks. Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 236) *Information as to the name "Kendal" should either be reworded to be more assertive or removed. As-is it gives the impression this is the place for fan speculation and OR.
 * 237) **If the name "Kendal" was used with Sheard's blessing, I think the bit on the name should stay. I don't know how I could reword it; I can't say that the name is a reference to the character if I don't know for sure. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 238) ***You could simply mention that it was used with his blessing, forgoing the speculative language regarding the other show. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:55, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 239) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 240) *Forum:CT Archive/Ambiguous canon in the main article body states that the ambig content should be worked into the bio with the tags in place.
 * 241) **Really? Toprawa told me on IRC that ambig content should be located in the BTS, similar to the placement of cut content. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 13:47, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 242) ***Well, I've cited you the CT, haven't I? In case you'd like precedent, the objectionless Slith FA is a fair one. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:55, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 243) ****Done. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:28, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 244) * Graestan ( Talk ) 01:44, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * "However, the depiction of Vader's recovery here contradicts that shown in Star Wars Empire 14: The Savage Heart." - Vader: The Ultimate Guide has the Scoundrel's Luck events take place right after Vader is picked up from Vaal (in fact, Sodarra from SL is the one who recovers him from Vaal), so I don't think this is true. - Lord Hydronium 21:01, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Wasn't aware of that. I'll fix it. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 21:27, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Wait, it still contradicts Ozzel's command of the Reprisal at this time. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 21:30, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Yeah, that part's fine to mention, but Vader's recovery isn't contradictory, is what I'm saying. Or at least not between those two sources. - Lord Hydronium 23:02, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
 * So I only have to remove that one line then, right? No problem. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 12:23, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Just a note to all those with objections needing to be addressed: I'm busy all week helping teach at a guitar camp for 6 to 8-year-olds, so please be patient. I'll do my best to satisfy all objections as soon as I get a chance. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:27, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * If anyone has access to the ESB novel, Scoundrel's Luck, or Star Wars Galaxies Rebel mission "Sow Discord", I'd appreciate some help with getting info from the three sources. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 14:29, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * You should ask around in IRC and see if anyone can help you out or point you toward the sources online. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:47, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Listen, I don't want to sound annoying, but I really need some more Inqs to review this article. I'd also greatly appreciate help with info from Scoundrel's Luck and Galaxies. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 17:45, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Gorgon

 * Nominated by: --Director of Project Ambition Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 14:05, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:
 * "Nothing larger than a Star Galleon, but it's a start."--Gilad Pellaeon
 * "We're going to need more than just a start, Captain."--Grand Admiral Thrawn

(6 Inqs/0 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:40, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:20, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:21, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 23:29, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Greyman ( Talk ) 08:53, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Thefourdotelipsis 23:52, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) No BtS. I'm seeing an awful lot of sentences starting with "the Gorgon" in the first few paragraphs. Also, I would've though there'd be at least info -- probably stats< -- in the Jedi Academy Sourcebook. Succession box is unsourced. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:10, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *BTS created and sourced. Succession box sourced. Also, the Gorgon is its name, if you were to look on other articles, you'd see the article's name at the beginning of the first paragraphs too. I don't have the Jedi Academy Sourcebook so I can't verify whether or not there are any stats.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 22:13, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **It did kinda occur to me that "the Gorgon" is its name; but, if you were to look on other articles, you'd see that the first sentences of the main body don't practically all start with the same thing. Jedi Academy sourcebook objection still stands; you really shouldn't nominate articles which have such a major source that hasn't been checked. Also, "Return to the Maw and death" is kind of a strange title since it's can't and doesn't die. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 07:53, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Perhaps "death" is a bit dramatic for a ship. Removed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 10:46, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****My objections are below, but I thought that I would mention that the JASB has no individual stats for the Gorgon. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *There are less Gorgon mentions in the first few paragraphs. And I suppose that Cavalier One's comments should be taken into account.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Struck most of my objection, but I checked the JAS myself and there's still plenty of info missing there, including a crew size which appears to contradict what is currently in the article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:58, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Well, I'm not sure if the JASs canonicty supercedes the novel itself. Besides I don't have it, so unless someone wants to help, your objection might be here a while...-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo' (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Also checked the JAS, and found no seeming crew controversy. Added some info, but as Cav One said, there's not an individual stat section. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:31, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One
 * 11) * Regarding the infobox - are the exact model of weapons correct and attributable to a source? While I normally wouldn't point something like this out on a ship article, bear in mind that it was isolated for over a decade, and may have had earlier model weapons fitted.
 * 12) **Those are the earliest models for an Imperial I-class Star Destroyer. There are no earlier models for the time that the Gorgon was constructed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Are you sure the Edict is a Gamma-class shuttle? It's own article says it is of an unknown class.
 * 14) **I can't account for the Edicts article, but it is mentioned in Jedi Search.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo' (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * In the intro, you mention that the Gorgon was constructed at Kuat. While a reasonable supposition, is there direct evidence it was manufactured there?
 * 16) **Mentioned in Jedi Search.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) * Under Specifications, you mention that The Gorgon was very unusual in that it possessed a complement of starfighters and assault craft that shied away from the standard size of a Star Destroyer's complement. While this may be true for the support craft, the starfighter complement of the vessel is a standard six squadrons. Unless you are refering to the models of starfighters used, which then needs to be made clearer.
 * 18) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * First paragraph of Construction and Deployment is unreffed.
 * 20) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Mention why Doole's fleet was near the Maw when the Gorgon exits for the first time.
 * 22) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * The captain of the corvette that Daala captures is named in the Jedi Academy Sourcebook as T'nun Bdu. This should be linked to.
 * 24) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * Explain how Ackbar used the Startide to destroy the Manticore.
 * 26) **Already done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Perhaps I should have been clearer - how did Ackbar gain control of the Startide? Was there any crew on board? I know the answers, but it should be made clear what the state of the Startide was and what Ackbar had to do to make it crash. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:43, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) ****Considering Daala didn't know herself, and this isn't about the Startide I think that's straying too far away from the Gorgon's story isn't it?-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Context is important, and whether or not Daala knew what had happened is irrelevant since this is an encyclopaedic article written from a neutral point of view. A small reference to how Ackbar used remote control to take command of the half-completed vessel and direct it towards the Star Destroyer is not a lot to add, really. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:33, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) ******Hmm, I suppose not; I guess I simply assumed that if you were willing to make an objection over it, you would want something more substantial (which would distract from both Daala and, essentially, the Gorgon's story). Anyway, done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 22:33, 14 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) * From the Jedi Academy Sourcebook - mention needs to be made that the crew was comprised of individuals with little or no ties to the outside galaxy so they would not be missed. Also, the crews are bored and angry after so long in isolation. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:56, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) **It's mentioned in the second History paragraph.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:18, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) ***No, it isn't. You mention that the Maw installation was isolated from outside contact, but not that the selection of the crew was based on their ties to the outside galaxy. The fact that the crew was bored after ten years in isolation is also not mentioned. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:43, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) ****Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) The succession box says preceded by "none" and cites Jedi Search. Does Jedi Search establish that it was Daala's first flagship, or is it an assumption based on the lack of a previous flagship existing in canon? If it's the latter, please change to "unknown" or something. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:50, 6 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) *It is Daala's first command, so that would mean that it was her first ship. Plus, she had been a weather woman and cook for like five years. It's all in Jedi Search.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 00:08, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One, second run
 * 38) * Just a little thing I missed first time around - the identities of the prisoners (Solo, Chewie and Kyp) should be revealed when they were first brought aboard the Gorgon, as well as the fact that they had escaped from Kessel. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:43, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 11:35, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 41) * (Intro) Seeming contradiction-how can Gorgon be one of the best ISDs in the fleet if they haven't had contact with other people for ten years?
 * 42) **Lack of contact has no bearing on the quality of a ship's condition.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) ***Then you need to state that that description is someone's opinion instead of explicit fact. That's POV and/or Original Research. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) ****Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) * This is somewhat nitpicking, but you can't say for sure that they were XX-9s if you're reffing from Jedi Search. That's original research.
 * 46) **Only the numbers are from Jedi Search. I assumed there was a consistency among Star Destroyer weapon models. I've removed the exact types of weapons.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 21:05, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) * I'd like a reference to a standard Star Destroyer's configuration. Is that ISD-I or ISD-II?
 * 48) **Um, I'm not sure what your asking for, but the Gorgon is an ISD-I.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) ***You'll need a reference to what a "standard config" is, unless it's stated in Jedi Search what the standard config is, or that Gorgon is at less than standard config. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) ****I apologize, I thought I had already reffed that section, hence the confusion. Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * Jedi Search indicates that Gorgon has less than a standard crew at some point during the Maw Installation; you can't say it has 45,000 crew if you're reffing from Jedi Search. It's said to have a skeleton crew.
 * 52) **I hardly call 45,000 a skeleton crew.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) ***If you look closely at Jedi Search, Daala says the normal complement of crew on an ISD was 45,000. In the very next sentence, she states that the Gorgon is running at less than full complement. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Well then the book contradicts itself, because earlier Daala remarks that between her four ISDs, she has 180,000 men at her command. That seems standard to me.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) *****In that case, a BTS note should be made of the contradiction. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:12, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) ******Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 21:05, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) * What is a "ragged shuttle"? Reword.
 * 58) **A ragged shuttle is one that is torn up; severely damaged, etc.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) ***Find me one direct quote from canon that uses that adjective for that purpose and I will strike this. Otherwise, reword it please, because ships don't come in "ragged" condition. Metal can't be "ragged".  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * "Dumbstruck by the news, Daala decided that since Tarkin was dead, his mandate thus nullified, the only thing she could do would be to fight her own guerilla war against the New Republic." Run-on.
 * 61) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) * "seemingly fool-proof" is a little POVish. Reword please.
 * 63) **In the book they use even more severe modifiers. Seemingly fool-proof is nothing compared to "invincible", etc. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like those either. And it did seem fool-proof to Daala, and everyone else. I'm just stating facts, it's not POV.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) ***Then state that Daala considered it fool-proof, not that it was fool-proof. That's the difference between POV and NPOV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) ****Oops. Disregard my last comment, I thought you were referring to the Sun Crusher. It's fixed now.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) * I know this isn't your fault, but there's some confusion with Mon Calamari vs. Dac.
 * 67) **So...what do you want me to do?-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) ***Pipelinking is the easiest fix IMO. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 69) ****Wait, do you want me to replace all mentions of Dac with Mon Calamari?-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) *****As far as I'm concerned, simply being consistent and picking one will work. I don't want to see both "Dac" and "Mon Calamari" (in reference to the planet), though. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:12, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) ******Both mentions of Mon Calamari are reffering to the species. First to the cities ("the floating cities of the Mon Calamari") and then to the code Ackbar uses to take control of the Startide ("using a Mon Calamari code"). Everything is consistent.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 21:05, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) * Spell out New Republic Defense Force and Mon Calamari.
 * 73) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * "Her first real defeat" . . . eh, Daala regarded the loss of the Hydra as a defeat as well IIRC.
 * 75) **Hence first real defeat as opposed to first defeat.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) ***In that case, what is a "real" defeat? How is her first defeat not a "real defeat"? Regardless of how you define it, it's still confusing and needs reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 77) ****I changed "real" to "major". I hope that's acceptable.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 21:05, 16 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) * "and the Durron had already set up a supernova in the nebula." Reword.
 * 79) **Done.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) * "to make an emergency hyperspace jump to any point." Reword; the last part is a bit vague.
 * 81) **Vagueness excised.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) * "But it was too late, as the burst of energy radiated out from the supernova explosion the Gorgon barely made it out of the nebula, while the Basilisk was not so lucky, and was incinerated." Reword, stilted wording.
 * 83) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 84) * "and that too many good men had died because of her selfish actions." POV.
 * 85) **Daala's own words.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:27, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) ***Which are explicitly POV. This needs reworded; you can say it's from Daala's POV, but you cannot say that people were "good men" explicitly. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 15:59, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 87) ****Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 18:10, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:33, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) From the planet-slagging flagship of Chack Jadson:
 * 90) * "Gorgon would prove to be the Installation's bane." I don't like this wording.
 * 91) **Corrected.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) * "It was a powerful vessel". POV, and doesn't flow with the next sentence.
 * 93) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) * "The Gorgon was unusual in that it possessed a complement of assault and support craft that shied away from the standard size of a Star Destroyer's complement." Again, I think this could be worded a little better.
 * 95) **Reworded.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) * In the first quote in History, are you sure it's accurate. Not "the" Maw Installation?
 * 97) **Yes.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 15:23, 24 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) * "The Gorgon was constructed over Kuat by Kuat Drive Yards and was commissioned by Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin. The Gorgon was constructed alongside three other Imperial Star Destroyers: the Hydra, the Basilisk, and the Manticore." I'd like these sentences to flow better.
 * 99) **Reworded.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * "which had been created by Tarkin himself." Obviously, Tarkin didn't create the plan, just the tactic, but that's not the impression I get. Please rephrase.
 * 101) **Rephrased.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) * "in her opinion too many good men had died because of her selfish actions." Could use better phrasing and positioning in the sentence.
 * 103) **Fixed.-- Mitth'raw'nuruodo (Imperial HoloNet)[[Image:Imperial_Emblem.svg|20px]] 16:02, 22 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:31, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) "These vessels were intended by Tarkin to guard his secret military research facility, Maw Installation, where monstrosities such as the Death Star and the World Devastators were designed." - monstrosities borders on POV, I feel. "Maw Fleet" or "Maw fleet" - choose one, preferably the latter. Thefourdotelipsis 10:55, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 106) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:41, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 107) Toprawa:
 * 108) * I'm glad I have this opportunity to make this objection, because I've been waiting for this. From the second edition of A Guide to the Star Wars Universe, originally from the Death Star Technical Companion, "Every Imperial-class or Super-class Star Destroyer...has a special throne room set aside for [the Emperor's] specific and total use. From each throne room, the Emperor can take control of ship systems, monitor all activity, and contemplate the dark side of the Force and his own grand schemes." Something discussing this should be added to the "Specifications" section. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:45, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) **Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:41, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 110) *If the ship was commissioned in 1 ABY, it needs a Rebellion era tag at the top of the page and in the infobox
 * 111) **This has been fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 112) ***And in the infobox. It appears that the field is missing from this page. I would suggest reloading the Indivivdual ship infobox while making sure there aren't any other omitted fields that could be filled in. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:29, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 113) ****No can do, bossman. That infobox doesn't contain an eras field. I completely reloaded it anyway, but template fixing is not the responsibility of an FAN nominator, IMO. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 114) *****But it does. :) Look between the "Role" and "Commission" fields. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:22, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) ******Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:05, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 116) * What kind of shuttle? A New Republic shuttle? Please specify: "before a lone shuttle entered the Maw and was captured by the Gorgon ' s tractor beams"
 * 117) **Corrected. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 118) * And what is the fate of the Empire? Since Endor, for example? Greater specification/contextification: "Daala learned the fate of the Empire"
 * 119) * This makes no sense to me. How can it be fulfilling its duty of protecting the installation by destroying it? I would request this be reworded: "the Gorgon fulfilled its role of protector by destroying the Installation"
 * 120) **Also corrected. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 121) * Is it delivering Daala to sanctuary with the Remnant? So she can become its leader? Please specify why this is happening: "after transporting Daala to the Imperial Remnant in the Deep Core"
 * 122) **Corrected. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 123) * Who are "the warlords"? Context, please: "the warlords dismantled the Star Destroyer"
 * 124) **Contextified. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 125) * The date of its dismantling should also be worked in there somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:17, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 126) **Tossed in a 12 ABY. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 127) ***Well, I meant the intro, which I have since added. But the infobox claims it was dismantled in 11 ABY, not 12 ABY. Which is it? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:29, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 128) ****I changed it to 11.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:16, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 129) * The majority of the Description section is effectively being sourced to Complete Cross Sections. Please remedy.
 * 130) **Changed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:33, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 131) *I'd like to see something mentioned in this same section dealing with the crew size and how it compares to the standard crew of an ISD, whatever that figure may be. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:58, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 132) **That's kind of dicey; check out the BTS. I'll work on it however.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:33, 27 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 133) ***Well, given the BTS information ad your most recent edit, I'm confused why the infobox specifies the ship had a crew of 45,000 and the article claims it operated with less than that and the BTS claims it operated with a skeleton crew at the same time. Something isn't matching up here.
 * 134) ****Ok, after reading your ref note, it seems this whole deal is operating under the assumption that just because she has the right amount of men to evenly crew her four ships that she is indeed doing so. I don't know if this is the nominator's interpretation or what, but if the book says she operated with a skeleton crew, then the ship operated with a skeleton crew. There's no reason to have this huge ref note explaining a bit of speculation. All that needs to be presented in the article is that the ship operated with a skeleton crew of somewhere less than 45,000, the standard crew amount of an ISD-I. Likewise, it would seem this BTS note is now unnecessary. The article doesn't need to stipulate any error on the author's part, which leads you to my final objection listed below. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 135) *****Now that it's been pointed out, it seems really obvious that that bit was unneeded. I guess I just went with what Thrawn had without thinking about it. It's now been removed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:03, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 136) * After reading through the ship's individual entry in the Star Wars Encyclopedia and comparing that entry to this article's introduction, it's like reading about two different ships. The second paragraph of the intro is very weak and should be rewritten almost in full. I would suggest using the SWE entry as a guide. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:10, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 137) **This is what I'm talking about: from the SWE entry, "[Daala] set what appeared to be a suicide course into the Installation, presumably destroying the Gorgon. In reality, she took the ship...to the Core Worlds, etc." The intro just claims that the Gorgon fired at and destroyed the station, with no mention of its presumed destruction. Did the NR think it was destroyed, for example? This should all be discussed in the intro. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:29, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 138) ***Gotcha. Added a bit.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:16, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 139) *The quote heading up the "Leaving the Maw" sections seems off somehow. Maybe there's a wrong word put in there, or the punctuation is wrong, I'm not sure, and I could be completely mistaken, but please check to make sure the original nominator got it right.
 * 140) *Please kill this dead construction and specify what "this chance" is: "This chance came in 11 ABY"
 * 141) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 142) *The Gorgon has more than one tractor beam projector, contrary to what this wording alludes to: "the Gorgon used its tractor beam"
 * 143) **Easy fix; you could've done this one even with no knowledge of the source material. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 144) *I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure ISDs have more than one hangar bay: "to pull the damaged shuttle into its hangar bay"
 * 145) **Per above. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 146) *The article randomly drops in this description of the shuttle being damaged without any prior explanation of how it became damaged. Did the tractor beams damage it? "the damaged shuttle"
 * 147) **Removed altogether. The word damaged is not pertinent to the article. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 148) *I'm not going to sugarcoat this one. This wording just stinks: "and Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader had died on a failed attempt to reconstruct the battlestation."
 * 149) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 150) *"Smother" just seems really off kilter. I'd rather you choose a different word: "the most the fleet could do was physically smother the superweapon with TIE Fighters"
 * 151) **Actually, that physically is what Daala was trying to do. She's trying to fill space with so many craft that the superweapon can't escape through all of them. Still, I can try and find a different word if you insist. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 152) *Ditto with "fruitlessly": "The confused fleet fired fruitlessly"
 * 153) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 154) *The Gorgon's sensors are a vital communications outpost? Please fix this clausal confusion: "Despite being a vital communications outpost, the Gorgon ' s sensors"
 * 155) **Fixed. Another objection that doubtless took more time to make than fix. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 156) *Can we think of a more compelling section title than the "Return to the Maw and end"? That's pretty bland.
 * 157) **Encyclopediac writing is bland. Nevertheless, changed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 158) *The Imperial warlords are bearing deep scars and are damaged beyond repair? Clausal confusion: "Bearing battle scars, damaged nearly beyond repair, and limping along with what amounted to a skeleton crew, the various Imperial warlords who had domains in the Deep Core"
 * 159) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 160) *As has been done with the intro, I would like to see some description worked into the penultimate paragraph of the final history section dealing with the SWE info. There shouldn't be any information exclusive to the intro, which currently there is.
 * 161) **Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:03, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 162) *All of the battles that have been listed in the infobox should be linked to someplace in the article. I see no links for the Battle of Dantooine or the Battle of the Maw Installation.
 * 163) **Linked. Another easy, easy fix. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 164) *Really? Where is this stipulation presented? "it would seem her ships may have been unevenly crewed. This can also be seen as an error on the author's part, a stipulation made by this article."
 * 165) **Removed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:03, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 166) *I'd rather like to see more added to this description. Is this the standard size for an ISD-I, or ISD-II? Also, you should add something to the ffect of "as specified in Complete Cross-sections, etc.": "As 45,000 is a standard crew size for a Star Destroyer" Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1) It's been three weeks since the author contributed to the site, and two since the last objection was placed with no attempts on anyone's part to rectify it.  Graestan ( Talk ) 14:26, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  4 votes or not, this thing is idle. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:19, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *If Chack is truly willing to work on this, as he's indicated to me directly, that's fine. I won't hesitate to reinstate this vote should he choose not to, however. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:48, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

Do not remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1) Negative. If Chack's willing to adopt it and other people take it over, I think it's fine.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 16:43, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) You know, I never ever say this but... per Ataru. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 21:34, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Greyman ( Talk ) 08:53, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * It could use a sentence or two in the Bts explaining the mythological origin of the name, like with Chimaera. -LtNOWIS 20:49, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Toby Philpott

 * Nominated by: Colinmcev 21:40, 10 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Mr. Shaw inspired me to do another random (but interesting) OOU nom. Just to warn you all, one of these days I am going to do Kenneth Colley. :D -- Colinmcev 21:40, 10 August 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Very interesting article. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 15:02, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 19:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) * The brief scene in which Jabba eats the frogs took several takes to get correctly since it was difficult for Philpott to reach Jabba's mouth with the right arm; should this be left arm? You stated previously that Philpott was on the left arm, and Barclay on the right. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:09, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **Right you are. Fixed. -- Colinmcev 14:57, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 4) *The reffing seems quite out-of-hand. Using the shorter after the first usage of any ref would be more appropriate, as I see at least in the infobox what appears to be a bunch of repetitions of the long, initial citation form.
 * 5) *Calling Henson "legendary" offhand is POV.
 * 6) *This is awkward, but I'm not sure how you'd like to reword it: "Philpott later described him as the favorite character he ever puppeteered."
 * 7) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:36, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * NOTE: Just so you all know, I am going off to get married and honeymooned and whatnot, so I will be out of commission on the Wook until Oct. 8 at the earliest. If there are any objections that need my attention, I'll take care of them upon my return, so please don't boot the article until after that time. Thanks all! -- Colinmcev 04:20, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Back. By the way, you might be interested to know that Toby himself has read this article and contacted me about it. I thought it was very cool of him, and he's very happy to be part of the Wook. -- Colinmcev 23:30, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

Nas Choka

 * Nominated by: Harrar 16:55, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Long overdue&hellip;

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Reads like a history of the Yuuzhan Vong War. Great work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:59, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 13:06, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) The Anvil:
 * 2) * The Journey to War section, first sentence. Choka was a commander of what? For who?
 * 3) **Clarified. See watcha think.
 * 4) * Next sentence. To whom is this galaxy promised? Where was the Vong fleet approaching from? some context/clarification please.
 * 5) **Again, clarified I hope.
 * 6) * You have instances of both "Supreme Overlord" and "supreme overlord". I believe it to be the former, so please make sure every instance of the term is capitalized.
 * 7) **I'm gonna do this later in the week; it's too much for tonight. Based on The Final Prophecy, and The Unifying Force, I'm going with "Supreme Overlord" all the way through.
 * 8) ***Sorted. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:32, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * the living planet persisted; ?
 * 10) **"Stories of the living planet persisted..." Harrar 21:21, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * More to come, stay tuned. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:04, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **I look forward to it&mdash;thanks for reviewing it. Harrar 21:21, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I've done what I can with pictures, but there is only one of Nas Choka himself. Others, like the Battle of Coruscant, will need to be cropped to remove the hand. I was thinking of one of Shimrra Jamaane, but if you look at his article all of his images are rather poor. Help would be greatly appreciated Harrar 16:55, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm now away until the 10th of September, with precious little internet access. I'll deal with any objections on my return. Harrar 10:41, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * It sucks to pull out of this with only one Inqvote and one set of objections, because it means it probably won't pass without my hand to resolve them. That's by no means an indictment of the process here; it's a massive article, and I know Yuuzhan Vong can be pretty boring. I don't really want to remove the nomination, though, (but that's probably what will happen in my absence). I dunno, maybe someone will get involved in the process and take up the burden of resolving the objs. If not, then I'm sorry to prat around on the FANom page, and guess you guys can remove the nom. I won't be working on the article again, but even if it does go down as a failed candidate, I'm happy that it's better than what it was. Apologies again. Harrar 11:35, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Just to note: I intend to look after this nom and see to any objections in Harrar's absence. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:16, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Rolf Treidum

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:07, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More DarkStryder goodness. I'm sensing a pattern with my noms.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:47, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:44, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cull Tremayne 02:55, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Pattern? I see no pattern :P  Greyman ( Talk ) 13:27, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Two little things:
 * 2) * "Although Sarne wished the FarStar to locate him and call in a New Republic strike force, he wanted it to be on his own timetable, and at a place of his choosing." Why?
 * 3) **Added reasoning.
 * 4) ***Could you put it in the intro?
 * 5) ****Done. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 07:39, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * You keep referring to the Lialic II as that after it's been renamed. Shouldn't it be Lance of Endor?
 * 7) **Basically because it is an alias, and it is only known as the Lance of Endor to the FarStar and those governments it contacts. To Sarne, it is still the Lialic II - Treidum was responsible for renaming the ship to accomplish the mission assigned to him, doing it off his own initiative. The Millennium Falcon has several aliases, but I would think that it would be solely refered to as the Falcon in Han's article. Also, I felt it would be more confusing to switch to another name for the ship in the article. However, if you feel it should be changed, then I'll oblige. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:40, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Nah, it's fine.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:02, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:12, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 11) *"Posing as a New Republic vessel named the Lance of Endor, Treidum stirred up resentment for the New Republic and the FarStar by portraying the government as a totalitarian regime" I'm a little confused&mdash;I'm sure Treidum didn't pose as a New Republic vessel, but is he using the Lialic II to do so?
 * 12) **Yes. Although posing as a ship himself would be funnier. Addressed.
 * 13) *"Recognizing certain qualities in Sarne, Treidum was quick to ally himself with the ambitious young man" What kind of qualities?
 * 14) **None specified. Rewritten to eliminate the reference.
 * 15) *"Treidum's reconnaissance of the union indicated that the Kathol Republic's navy was enough to threaten the FarStar. " Which union?
 * 16) **The Kathol Republic, as stated in the previous sentence - I was using the word "union" as an alternative to Republic as it Republic had been used several times. I could use empire again, but that was used in the previous sentence. I was looking for variety.
 * 17) *A bit more context on the trapezoid device, please.
 * 18) **No more available, I'm afraid. It's only refered to as a "strange trapezoid device which he could use to summon the Empire in case of emergency." - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 13:52, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:42, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Yomin Carr

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:24, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first Yuuzhan Vong FA nom.

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) DC 19:44, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Some spelling errors, but corrected Enochf 23:35, 23 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 16:38, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Could stand a little more exposition on the duel but nice job. Cull Tremayne 01:58, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Ha, you gotta love the pictures. Greyman ( Talk ) 13:38, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) DC
 * 2) * "The team decided to send three people in an old Spacecaster ship." Who are they, besides from Danni Quee, whom you already mentioned was going.
 * 3) **Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:47, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Explain how Da'Gara captured Quee and killed the other two scientists.
 * 5) **Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:47, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "He informed him that a team was heading for Helska IV, where the "asteroid" had crashed." You had told us that the object intruduing the galaxy was a comet. Which is it?
 * 7) **Good catch. Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:47, 21 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Good article. DC 21:20, 20 August 2008 (UTC)


 * From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 1) * Context on who Prefect Da'Gara is upon first introduction is needed.
 * 2) **Got it.
 * 3) * Belkadan would also be harmed from Carr's beetles, which were quickly converting the atmosphere to toxic gases. Is "harmed" correct here? I thought Belkadan was being terraformed for use as a shipyard?
 * 4) **Changed.
 * 5) * You have the team reacting to the warning from the Spacecaster after you mention it was destroyed at Helska IV. Shouldn't the mention of its destruction happen after this?
 * 6) **Fixed.
 * 7) * I haven't read VP for a while, but didn't Carr unmask himself to Cadmir because he believed he was worthy of a good death for his efforts in surviving the forest?
 * 8) **Yes. Added.
 * 9) * How did the ExGal distress call get sent when the comms tower was down? - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:47, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Fixed. Thanks for the review.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 15:33, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks for reviewing it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:45, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Slave Leia costume

 * Nominated by: Colinmcev 08:36, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: :D

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:53, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) An interesting read -- good job, Colin.  Greyman ( Talk ) 19:10, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * The costume is included as on of the top 10 Star Wars "Jaw droppers" in Star Wars Insider 103. You should mention this --Jinzler 08:50, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks Jinzler. I added it to the fourth paragraph in Fan Following. Feel free to add any other details to the reference. -- Colinmcev 07:11, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * There is no mention of the costume's appearance in the Family Guy episode "He's Too Sexy for His Fat" --Jinzler 15:04, 29 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Added it. Any other appearances that I've missed are definitely welcome. -- Colinmcev 07:11, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * Many of the sources of your quotes merely link to the magazines on Wikipedia. They should link to the specific issue or article if at all possible.
 * They do where possible (Wired, IGN, etc.) but the ones that don't are from print editions. -- Colinmcev 04:46, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * You're linking to the Wikipedia article about the magazine. If possible, you should link to the magazine article on the magazine's official website, like some of the references do. You may find Quoteurl useful for this. I fixed one of them to show you what I mean. —Xwing328 (Talk) 18:33, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Oh, I get it now. lol Sorry about that. I think I got them all, except the ones that are in print and have no link. -- Colinmcev 02:23, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * We decided before not to include merchandise unless it added to canon. I'm not sure if we have a policy for OOU articles such as this. If we do keep the section, there's a new slave leia costume here on StarWarsShop.com you may want to include.
 * I understand this for non-OOU articles, but in a case like this one, I think it's appropriate and adds to the article. I'll go with whatever the majority opinion is, but I'd like to see it stay. -- Colinmcev 04:46, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Slaveshadows.jpg needs to be sourced.
 * This image was here before I started working on the article. However, I recognize it from Star Wars Insider issue 68 (which I have a copy of). I think the promotional image licensing (which was there before) applies, so if I just add the source (which I did), will that be sufficient? -- Colinmcev 04:46, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Yeah, that's good. I just categorized it more specifically, since you knew the source. —Xwing328 (Talk) 18:33, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "She's in robes all the time, and then it's just like, 'That's what's under those robes? Holy smokes.'" You have this quote attributed to Carrie Fisher under "Description" and Jon Abrahams in a "Fan following" paragraph.
 * It's Jon Abrahams. Thanks for pointing that out. -- Colinmcev 04:46, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "Celebrity stylist joked that the costume..." It feels like your missing a person's name in this sentence.
 * Yeah, added it. -- Colinmcev 04:46, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * One more: sometimes you have "slave Leia" and other times "Slave Leia." —Xwing328 (Talk) 18:38, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I think it should be lower case except in the first bolded reference. Lower-cased the rest. -- Colinmcev 02:23, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * That is all. —Xwing328 (Talk) 18:38, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Jinzler
 * The costume makes a brief appearance in Robot Chicken: Star Wars; in the scene where George Lucas is mobbed by fans, it is worn by a rather fat woman. You should mention this --Jinzler 21:26, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Got it. -- Colinmcev 17:08, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * There is apparantly a reference to it in the American Dad episode "Tears of a Clooney" --Jinzler 22:01, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Added it. -- Colinmcev 17:08, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * It appears in The Return of Tag & Bink: Special Edition --Jinzler 22:12, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I don't have a copy of this. Can anyone else add this one for me? -- Colinmcev 17:08, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * In a quest in World of Warcraft, you have to rescue the captured Princess Moira Bronzebeard, who wears an outfit that bears a striking resemblance to the Slave Leia Costume, as well as having Leia's hairstyle. There is more on her here --Jinzler 22:31, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Added this one. Will get the others later. -- Colinmcev 03:08, 8 September 2008 (UTC)
 * The costume appears at the start of Bring Back... Star Wars and also Carrie Fisher says some stuff about it --Jinzler 17:39, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I checked out this episode, but I don't think there's anything worth adding. Since it's an interview with Carrie Fisher about the costume, any original or new comments would belong in the main body of the article (it doesn't belong in appearances, since it's not a situation like a fictional character in another show/movie wearing it). That being said, she doesn't say anything in this interview that hasn't already been said in other interviews and already included in this article. For example,. she mentions the double-sided tape thing, and the fact the quote that Boba Fett could "see all the way down to Florida," and those are all already in there. If you know of anything specific from here that should be added, I'll do it, but I think we've covered it all already. -- Colinmcev 17:08, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok, forget the Carrie Fisher stuff, but perhaps you could just briefly mention that it was worn by a woman right at the start of the episode, who was attached by a chain to Justin Lee Collins, who was pretending to mimic Jabba the Hutt --Jinzler 08:03, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) *The last paragraph of creation and conception more properly belongs in a reaction section, IMHO. If you've got a good explanation for leaving it in there, I'd be okay with it.
 * 3) *I'd say Leia's costume EU mentions post-ROTJ deserve a mention. There's one for sure in one of the Black Fleet Trilogy, as well as one I think in Planet of Twilight. The first is sort of trivial, but the second has some significance to the plot.
 * 4) *"he two performed a more polished version of the dance during the finals." What dance? Could you clarify this some?
 * 5) *Link where applicable to book names in references. For example, The Making of Star Wars.
 * 6) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:21, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Have you considered finding a place for Image:Leiakini_Unleashed.jpg in the article? It would fit nicely in, IMO. Mauser 17:27, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I love this picture, but I think the article already has too many, and I think the ones that are in there go with the subsections well enough that none of them warrant being replaced. I'm open to suggestions, but I think the article should stay as is. -- Colinmcev 17:11, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Very unusual referencing, but I'm not going to object to referencing that goes A & B the C of D. However, make sure that when you reference from a book and have page numbers, you include the edition, due to differences in foreign, hardback/paper editions, etc. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:21, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Star Wars Trading Card Game

 * Nomination by: - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:34, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope that this gets through, and improves when if you spot something I've overlooked.

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Oppose
 * 1) Shouldn't there be a conception section, as well as a reception section? Create those, and I'll come back to give it an all out review. DC 21:29, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added a reception section. Also put a note on your talk page - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:46, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Etahn A'baht

 * Nomination by: - Havac 06:22, 11 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Summer work, now getting nommed. And pretty short. Havac 06:22, 11 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 users/0 total)
Support
 * 1) DC 01:43, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) * "A'baht and Ackbar worked hard to convince her" Worked hard seems to be an overstatement, as well as a bit POVish.
 * 2) **They worked hard to convince her. They were not indifferent. I don't really see how it's POV. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) * "A prolonged state of cold war existed between Dornea and the dominant galactic power, in which A'baht kept the Empire from Dornea" Something seems to be missing near the end from the sentence...
 * 4) **He kept them from Dornea, as in he kept them off it. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * First, you say A'baht was promoted to general, then you say he commanded the Dornean Nav. Please clarify the contrast here.
 * 6) **It's inherent in the sources. He was commanding the navy before he got the promotion. Not much we can do. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * Could at least give a little bit of context for Luke?
 * 8) **How do you mean? Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Is the triple ref'ing in the BtS necessary? Naming the trilogy kind of self sources it, and the other ref'ing isn't needed either.
 * 10) **Well, I don't think it hurts. I just source everything. Havac 00:14, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *Great article Havac. DC 22:10, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Objections resolved via IRC discussion with Havac. DC 01:43, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Derek Klivian

 * Nomination by: - Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My other summer nom. Image replacement by Red is ongoing. Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Janek Sunber

 * Nomination by: Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Well, if it doesn't pass, at least it'll meet GA standards now. Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Oppose

Comments
 * I recall, before Sunber and Tank were revealed to be the same, fans wondering about Tank and Randy Stradley specifically saying something about how they had plans for him. Could be good information for the BTS, if I'm not making it up and someone could find the source (I think it's on the DH boards). Since I don't have the source, I'm Commenting this and not objecting. - Lord Hydronium 09:25, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Google isn't turning up anything, but I'll keep poking around a little. Havac 17:42, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I seem to be incorrect on the source. In this thread Quest mentions Pablo saying it, I suspect in Insider. Also, later Barlow gives a little more info on when they developed the Sunber/Tank thing. - Lord Hydronium 18:14, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

Xamar

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:27, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination commentsss: None.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nice job, Ackbar. I've always enjoyed your KotOR nominations.  Greyman ( Talk ) 09:08, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 01:49, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Er, is it entirely clear that he's dead? Yrfeloran 04:16, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Beyond all reasonable doubt. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:07, 7 October 2008 (UTC)

First Battle of Ruusan

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún and Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Our first joint project for the revitalization of WookieeProject: New Sith Wars

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:32, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) It's not sourced. I also suspect it's been mentioned in other sources like the NEC. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:08, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, I believe. Thanks for looking, and if there are more, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:31, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) "The First Battle of Ruusan was written and conceived by author Drew Karpyshyn" - is absolute rubbish. It was first conceived as the background for the Dark Forces game, and first described in the Dark Forces novella. Please expand and amend the BtS. QuentinGeorge 12:28, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Since you are privy to that information and I am not, care to rectify? It would be greatly appreciated. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:04, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed the "absolute rubbish", I believe. If more is required, please advise, thanks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:31, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 7) * "should Kaan manage to emerge victorious," Victorious overall, or victorious at Ruusan?
 * 8) * Contextify the Army of Light.
 * 9) **Addressed (added a word).
 * 10) * Contextify Hoth and the other Jedi Master in BtS.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Correct me if I'm wrong, but Rule of Two isn't the first Karpyshyn novel, right?
 * 13) **LOL addressed.
 * 14) * A supporting picture or two would be nice. Not a hard and fast objection.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * Please make sure that other Sith casualties aren't mentioned. This is not a hard and fast objection.
 * 17) ** Sorry, but I don't understand. Please advise, thanks. Addressed now via IRC. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:20, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) *I cleaned up a decent amount of the prose; the writing style was a bit stilted before, pushing on the lines of flowery. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:37, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * First of many, from the Anvil & Xadún. Be wary of what is to come. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 10:56, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Duel on Ambria

 * Nominated by: Darth Xadún and Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A psychopathic Sith. Decapitation. Force Lightning. Lightsabers. A duel with it all.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:10, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:58, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) I think the intro's a little two long -- three paragraphs seems excessive for a 9 KB article. Also, and I'll get back to you with a proper objection soon, I think parts of this might be Play-by-play. Things like "Cries of mercy faded to silence as Bane retracted his blade, having ended Hetton's life" read like a narrative to me. As I said, I'll get back to you on this when I've more time to make a proper review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:12, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Still several paragraghs in the intro, but it has been shortened. Removed what I believe may be play-by-play, and eliminated the narrative. If not satisfactory, please advise. Thank you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Hey Hey Hey:
 * 4) * I don't think you should call Zannah treacherous in the intro. It was a betrayal of Hetton, no? Or at least she used that excuse?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Anyone reason convinced is in italics? I don't think that's needed.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Minor thing, but holocron is not capitalized.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * I'd suggest mentioning that Hetton was an aristocrat when you introduce him in the body.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *Nice work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:19, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for looking, Chack. If anything else is required. For a good time, check out the Senate Hall & Korriban Academy ones too;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:24, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 15) * " Surprised, he instead spared her life, and regarded Zannah with respect, recognizing her potential as the next Dark Lord of the Sith. " A bit confusing at the end. What exactly does that mean?
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * Context on Shadow Assassins' ties to the Sith needed.
 * 18) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 19) * " he completely embraced the dark side and decimated his enemies, killing all the assassins in a final attack." A bit of flowery prose here.
 * 20) **Really? That's exactly how it happened in the book. He embraced the dark side, and totally destroyed the remaining Assassins. I left it as simple yet direct as possible without plagiarizing. Please advise how I should go about changing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:07, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Fair enough. I was hoping Karpyshyn had a more concrete explanation, but that's fine. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:58, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * "and the pair departed for Ambria on board Hetton's ship the Loranda, intent on relieving the Dark Lord of his mantle." Are details on how the Umbarans got there available?
 * 23) **No, but it can be assumed that they traveled with Zannah and Hetton. Addressed.
 * 24) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 04:45, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Pleasure doing business with you, Ataru. My colleague and I thank you for the review. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:07, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources. Should be a good read. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:06, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Sirak

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: A double-bladed lightsaber-wielding Zabrak? How original&hellip;from WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose -- Jaina Solo ( Talk ) 23:50, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) BtS needs sourcing. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:14, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) * Adjudsted so that the Bts is sourced within the paragraph. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 21:33, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still not sourced. "Karpyshyn has acknowledged this error, and requested that readers consider Vaapad to read Juyo instead" isn't self-sourcing. Neither is the info about Mace creating Vaapad. You need a ref note with the specific blog link, and possibly another one about the creation of Vaapad. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:58, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Jaina Solo: 
 * 5) *"He was rumored amongst some of the apprentices that Sirak had begun training under the Korriban Academy's Headmaster, Qordis, some twenty years before."--Reword and expand.
 * 6) *"During his time at the Academy, Sirak rose through the throng of students to become the top apprentice there. He won the admiration of two fellow Zabraks within the Academy, the twins Yevra and Llokay, though he was by far their superior in skill. The two apprentices followed Sirak constantly, giving the appearance of obedient servants following their master. Compared to the other students, his power was so great that several apprentices believed Sirak was the Sith'ari, an embodiment of the dark side itself."--POV; please reword.
 * 7) * "Academy/academy"--Please choose one.
 * 8) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *"Furious and desperate for vengeance, Sirak plotted ways of killing Bane. His opportunity presented itself when Githany, a deserter of the Jedi Order and Bane's other secret teacher alongside Kas'im, sought Sirak out to kill Bane. Along with his Zabrak kin Llokay and Yevra, he waited in the library while Githany lured Bane to them. However, Githany had also betrayed the Zabrak trio, furnishing Bane with his lightsaber to defend himself. The former Jedi killed the twin Zabrak with her lightwhip, and Bane decapitated Sirak even as he begged for mercy.”--This could be reworded to make the paragraph flow better.
 * 10) * "Although there were other apprentices who used this style of saber…"—Style of saber?
 * 11) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *"Bane had spent much time in his secret training learning the techniques of the double-bladed saber that both Sirak and Kas'im wielded, seeking to understand it and so nullify it's advantage of being unfamiliar to most students." Sounds confusing; please reword.
 * 13) * In the last paragraph of Rivalry with Bane, you use "seeking" twice.
 * 14) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * "All the apprentices were granted the title of Dark Lord of the Sith, declared equal in the Brotherhood, and furnished with their own lightsabers.” Isn’t there a word missing here?
 * 16) **Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *”He was the most powerful of the three Zabrak studying at the Academy during the end of the New Sith Wars."—POV
 * 18) *Tense issues in BtS.

Comments

Kopecz

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: The natural counterpart to Kas'im. Again, WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose
 * 1) It's likely missing info from the Official Star Wars Fact File in relation to his early life. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:15, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Neither my partner or I has access to the fact file, so if you can provide it, we'd both be greatly appreciative. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:41, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Duel in the Korriban Academy

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: In conjunction with Sirak and WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Gobee

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Oron Kira wasn’t the only badass Beast Rider.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:01, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Since I know you love longer introductions, hah, I'm going to suggest that you lengthen that intro a bit (within reason!) and add a bit more. This article is substantially longer than another which you've written, and it has a tiny intro! :P Any chance you could expand it a little bit, Tom?
 * 3) **LOL, and addressed.
 * 4) * I know some people like to say the lead quote doesn't matter and that quotes are subjective...but, I like to see the opposite side of that fence; any chance we could get a more descriptive selection for the lead quote at the beginning? Something that speaks to Gobee's character, or personality, rather than what's there currently? I'm on the edge with this one, so if you're not comfortable with changing, just let me know and I'll strike regardless.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *I haven't finished reading it yet, but if there's anything else in the coming days that I can't fix, I'll let you know :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:26, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Again, it is my pleasure. Thank you, and I await your further review. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:09, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Ok, round 2 (this should be it): Upon reading the section "The Naddists' return," I noticed that you use the events laid out in the audio drama. As with some of your other FANs/FAs you know that there is a conflict in regards to what actually happens&mdash;the audio drama, for the part pertaining the FNU, says one thing about the battle with Null and the events after it, while the FNU comics say something different. In this article you use the events from the audio drama which state that Jeth is aware of Ommin and follows the ground-borer in the tunnel to track down Ommin. However, in the comics Galia says that Jeth should seek out her father who is sick, and Jeth believes that Ommin's help is the key to defeating the dark side. I'd like to see either a) some sort of middle-ground written with regards to this event, and any others in this section that need it, or b) keep it as it is, slap the "conflicting sources" template at the top with the appropriate sources, and then slap some ref tags on the conflicting events explaining the "other side" of the coin...or, to be precise, what happened in the comic. Actually, regardless of what you decide to do, the "conflicting sources" template should really be at the top anyways. Likewise, the conflicting information should also be addressed, either way you do it, in the BtS in a few detailed paragraphs. I understand the problem because if you tweak the actual article info too much, then you run the risk of causing confusion over what Gobee's role (and resulting events) were. However, I feel that it should be made known, somehow, that there are conflicting sources out there!
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * In the "Personality and traits" section, any chance of getting a few more examples of how he was a good soldier, etc. etc?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Per above, for the "Abilities" section I think it would be best if the reader had some examples that speak to Gobee's "espionage" talents, and his abilities as a "capable leader." Likewise, I think it would be beneficial if there were some specific examples where he kicked ass using the various fighting-talents you mention, with both blaster(s) and knives. Lastly, you mention at the start that he is capable of flying the Drexl, so some examples (or just one) could be used there too. Other than these few things, good article, Tommy. Greyman ( Talk ) 13:33, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Addressed. Thanks for the read, Grey. It is both what the teacher teaches, and what the student learns. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 18:37, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No problemo. Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Seeker-torpedo launcher.jpg is very low quality. Re-scan it. --Imperialles 10:21, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources for this guy. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:13, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Any change to get some ogg files of this guy's dialogue? --Eyrezer 21:04, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I will attempt, Eyr. It would be a good thing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:59, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Raid on the Iziz Royal Palace

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Damsel in distress.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) So that's where you've been lately...  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the physics homework Chack Jadson is not doing right now:
 * 2) * Bit too much PBP in intro
 * 3) **Really? I left out maaad details in the intro. Care to assist? —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:48, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Just "As Ulic Qel-Droma stepped forward to offer the protection of both the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order to the Queen". I feel that this could be rephrased a tad. I dislike the "stepped forward" bit.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:31, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Addressed.
 * 6) * "For 400 years" Is this an exact date? if so, link.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Your " seem to be off in the quotes (no spaces are necessary).
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "Sounds of blaster fire could be heard in the background as Novar answered the comlink from the defense towers." A bit too flowery.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * "Ulic Qel-Droma arrived at that same moment with proud stories of how the Riders he had engaged in battle met their demise, but was quickly silenced by the sight a distressed Amanoa." I don't think this is necessary.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "laughing ominously at the young, novice Jedi, awaiting their return." Same thing; I'd say this is unneeded.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * "Veitch also used as the first official mission of his new characters Ulic and Cay Qel-Droma, and Tott Doneeta". Is a word missing?
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) *Very nice Tommy. You've come a long way. I'm impressed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:08, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Iziz Royal Palace.JPG and Image:PoorAmanoa.JPG are very low quality. Re-scan 'em. --Imperialles 10:20, 14 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Chack, was this supposed to be for the Raid on the Royal Palace article? If so, I've addressed each as you have stated. Thanks for the review! —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Heh, yeah. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:00, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Battle of Iziz (Beast Wars)

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ will never die!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:04, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Like I mentioned to you in #WP:TotJ the other day, that intro needs to be taken to the butcher shop and sliced-and-diced by quite a bit :P From giving it a quick glance over, everything else appears in order -- I'll give 'er a more thorough read within the coming days, Tommy :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:41, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, and if there is anything else required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Dedicated to my young friend Master Ooroo, who originally undertook this endeavour with me. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Duel in the Senate (Great Sith War)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: If you were to face an ancient Sith lord in combat, you would learn that we are as children playing with toys compared to the prowess of the old Masters.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:53, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) I think the intro is far too long in comparison to the rest of the article. It's contributes almost a third of the article's overall word count. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:07, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Honestly, I think it's quite a bit too big. I'll strike but I'd like to see others' opinions on the matter. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:50, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Per Ackbar on this one. For the length of the article, the introduction is a little bit too long and encompasses a whee bit too much detail. Having read the article recently, I have no other concerns, but I'd like to see that intro trimmed down a bit more. Thoughts, Tommy?  Greyman ( Talk ) 09:12, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed. Please advise if it is still too long. Thanks for the review as well, it is always a pleasure. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:13, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **No problemo :) Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Chack:
 * 8) * "the present Jedi Supreme Chancellor" I don't understand this. Please rephrase.
 * 9) **Addresed.
 * 10) * "such havac throughout stars that both the Jedi and the Republic were steadily confounded by defeats in battle." This leads up to such a climactic end, and then it's just "they were beat a lot". :P Seriously, it could use a wording change.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Good article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:45, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Chack. Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:54, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Aron Peacebringer

 * Nominated by: Havac 21:26, 17 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: It's Marvelicious! Havac 21:26, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Interesting - never read much of the Marvel stuff. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:28, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 00:18, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Lord Hydronium 18:01, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 2) * When mounted outrider reinforcements arrived, Peacebringer took them on himself, putting the outcasts to flight. Still, Peacebringer was disturbed that his four-man party, the best warriors on Shiva IV, had had such difficulty with the band of outcasts. - The last part about Peacebringer being disturbed about the difficulty of the fight doesn't fit with the previous sentence where he apparently single-handedly forced reinforcements to retreat. Is there something that could be added here to explain why the fight was difficult?
 * 3) **Not really. It's that disjointed in the comic; four guys beat the hell out of a group of outcasts, but Peacebringer comes away thinking it should have been even easier. He's just that badass, I guess. I've mentioned that they were better armed than usual, but he just comes away saying "We had all the advantages, but they gave a good accounting." Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * On reaching Organa, he found that she was safe, nearly missed before she turned the knife against the Imperial officer. - This sentence doesn't read right, particularly the "nearly missed before she turned the knife" section. Please reword to be clearer.
 * 5) **Done. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * You mention the base's forces were committed to an attack, but did not mention that Peacebringer and Organa were taken to a base in the first place. Also, should this base not have its own article?
 * 7) **Found and added. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Sk'ar's airship sounds pretty unique - is there an article for it to be linked to? If not, one should be created. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:52, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) **Added. Havac 22:12, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) AdmirableAckbar:
 * 11) *"first time in memory" &mdash; this really ought to specify whose memory, or else be reworded some other way (appears in intro and bio).
 * 12) **The same sense "first time in memory" nearly always means; collective memory. I've clarified in one instance but left the unencumbered figure of speech in the intro for simplicity's sake. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Bit of context on Organa in the intro and bio, please.
 * 14) **I think the context in the intro is sufficient; she was shot down over the planet. You're correct that context was woefully lacking in the main body, though, and I've remedied that. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *The first part of "Capture" seems a little play-by-play to me. I'd like to see it cut down a tad.
 * 16) **I don't know. There's a lot of stuff going on in that section (of the comic and of the article) and I've tried to hold it down the just the barest outline of what was being exchanged. Could you maybe make a few suggestions? Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *First paragraph of "Battling the Empire" &mdash; I'd like to see a few pronouns replaced with people's names for clarity. I wasn't entirely sure who was doing what.
 * 18) **See if you like that. Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *A mention of his Databank entry and reference in AotE might be prudent.
 * 20) **How do you mean? Just mention them in BTS? Havac 04:37, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **Cool. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:38, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Rokko

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:26, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: We don't have many Hutt FAs, do we? Plus, it's almost my second anniversary here, so I'm celebrating that.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:58, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Short and sweet. Cull Tremayne 01:30, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Unsourced quote. Also what about a lead quote? --Eyrezer 02:05, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Sourced. And there was a lead quote, but I screwed up the formatting so that it didn't show up. It's there now.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:46, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Can we subsection the bio to get a table of contents? Also, "male Hutt" ... nuh-uh :P -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:08, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Fixed the sex thing. I would subsection it, but because of the way the Bio is set up, I don't think it would look good. Rokko's got an unbalanced life; we know almost nothing about him before he meets Pavan, so dividing it like that probably wouldn't be good, and setting it up with the Chryyk stuff as the end of one and the Bug-Eyes as the start of the other wouldn't look great, IMO. If you disagree, just say so, and I'll try my best to get it sub-sectioned.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 18:57, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Actually, I just sub-sectioned it. Tell me what you think. I prefer it the other way, but it's your call.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:04, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) No mention of Rokko at all in Streets of Shadow? -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:10, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) *None that I could find in my two look-throughs.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:00, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) "Rokko the Hutt was, like most of his kind, greedy, with love only for money." Is "like most of his kind" from the source? It seems pretty POV. - Lord Hydronium 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Johun Othone

 * Nominated by: DC 01:46, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bah, I couldn't stand not nominating it after finishing it.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Oppose


 * From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 1) Opening paragraph in the intro: Othone fought with Hoth during these wars, especially during the Ruusan campaign, in which Hoth was killed when the Sith detonated a thought bomb on Ruusan, destroying themselves, Hoth, and ninety-nine other Jedi. Bit of a jerky, run-on sentence. Also has three uses of "Hoth". Consider breaking up/ rewording to flow better.
 * 2) *Broken up and reworded.
 * 3) Nitpicky I know, but Othone and his family had worked at a farm - if Othone was taken by the Jedi at age ten, did he work on the farm, or just his family?
 * 4) *I'm pretty sure he worked on the farm.
 * 5) He used a mind trick on a female soldier named Irtanna, who was piloting a Envoy-class shuttle christened the Star-Wake down to Ruusan, to convince her that he was going along with her, just as the Ruusan native Bordon and his sons Tallo and Wend, the ship's crew. This sentence is unclear, especially the ending. I believe I know what you are trying to convey, but it needs rewriting/rewording to be clearer.
 * 6) *Cleared up.
 * 7) More context needed on the deaths of Irtanna, Bordon, Tallo, and Wend.
 * 8) *Context given.
 * 9) In the P&T Othone was also a Jedi who was more loyal to the Chancellor and the Senate than the Jedi Council, evidenced by his defiance of the Council during the construction of the Valley of the Jedi. Is this actually stated, or did Othone use the Senate for his own ends to bring about the memorial? -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:59, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *It's implied that he is more more to them rather than the council. He stays with the Chancellor for 10 years and ignores missions given to him by the council, and his defiance just reinforces his position.
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. DC 18:42, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Not a problem. Nice article. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) Chack's review:
 * 14) *"Therefore" is used in two sentences in a row in the intro.
 * 15) **Fixed.
 * 16) * I suggest mentioning that he wanted a memorial specifically to honor Hoth.
 * 17) **Done.
 * 18) *I thought Bane was on Ruusan, just not in the cave. Am I remembering wrong? I may very well be, though.
 * 19) **Nope, Bane was in the cave. That's how Darovit knew he survived and that Bane was Zannah's master.
 * 20) *You use Othone too many times in the last paragraph of Ruusan Reformation. Same in the second paragraph of Creating a memorial, and second paragraph of P&T.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) *Is there an article for Kelad’den blades? If not, please create one.
 * 23) **It's techinically a vibroblade, so I'm linking it there, and I'll add his blades there.
 * 24) *You use vandalize three times in the third paragraph of Creating a memorial.
 * 25) **Cut down.
 * 26) *Didn't his loss of skill come from 10 years as a political aide, with little time to practice his lightsaber skills? If so, this needs to go in powers.
 * 27) **Yep. Added.
 * 28) *Impressive article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:20, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **Thanks for the review. DC 15:18, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Morag

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This page isn't crowded enough.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments

Crimson Jack

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This might have some awkward wording.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:12, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * "A short time after releasing Solo, Jack and his crew made another high profile capture, Princess Leia Organa, who was on a mission to rescue the Rebel hero, Luke Skywalker, who had been lost in the Drexel system, found her ship caught in the tractor beam of Crimson Jack." Bit of a run-on; not sure on the best fix here.
 * 3) **Wow, now that is ugly. Reworded.
 * 4) *Otherwise clean aside from some small tweaks. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:57, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Thanks for the review. :D Cull Tremayne 03:02, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Lost Temple

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1477 words.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:19, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) Few small things:
 * 2) * No need to have all your references so tiny.
 * 3) **Could you elaborate a little? I'm not sure what you mean.
 * 4) ***Sorry. Compare the actual size of the references in this article to the ones in another article. You used the same format used for infobox refs for the whole article. Normally, the refs should be a little bigger (removed the bit). Does that help?  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:24, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Ah, I get it. Fixed. Cull Tremayne 22:57, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "However, for some unknown reason, this exit had a horizontally closing gateway, which could prevent any intruders from escaping." This seems to contradict itself. Isn't the gate there to prevent them from escaping? So the reasons are known, right?
 * 7) **Good catch. I was trying to say that the mechanism that triggered its closing was unknown, but then I obviously confused myself. :S
 * 8) * A bit of context on Terpas, please.
 * 9) **Gave a minor explanation after the initial mention. Did there need to be further context given later in the article?
 * 10) *I like it. Crazy Ewoks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:08, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **They love their kooky adventures alright. :D Thanks for the review. Cull Tremayne 04:14, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Totem Master

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He masters Totems, what?

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) What a dastardly scheme!  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:35, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments

Unidentified Imperial scout

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 1023 words. Might be possible to squeeze in a sentence or two about his early career, due to his familiarity with Seoul architecture, but this is the bare minimum.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Now I've got "The Gambler" stuck in my head again. We'll see how many weeks it is this time.  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:25, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:51, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * I'm going to assume this is my understanding of whatever this game's lingo is, but can we clarify was a "full system" is? "The Imperial scout played his final hand, a full system," Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:50, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **We don't really know anything about the game or how its played, but based on the context, it seems that a "full system" is one of the better hands in the game. Nothing else is really known. I added some minor wording about how a "full system" is a good hand. Cull Tremayne 23:03, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***That works. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:51, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Jedidiah

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ah, the Forrest Gump of Star Wars.

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:56, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) The original Jedi.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:59, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Never-ending fun when Marvel is involved.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:19, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:45, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Very clean. Stupid time requirement. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 02:16, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Quick note:
 * 2) * You mention his dream at first (in the intro) without explaining what it is. Please give a few words explaining how he wanted to be a Jedi. One can assume, but it's nice to have a definite explanation there.
 * 3) **Tacked "of becoming a Jedi" onto that sentence in the intro.
 * 4) * Also, you use hopeful in consecutive sentences in the Bio.
 * 5) **Could you point out where exactly? A word search turns up no mentions of "hopeful". I might just be overlooking it.
 * 6) **Oh, "hoping". :P Changed.
 * 7) *Nice work, Cull.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:29, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) **Thanks for the review.Cull Tremayne 22:42, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) From the delusional desk of Atarumaster88
 * 10) * Contextify ISD in intro, please.
 * 11) **Just removed ISD and left it at "Imperial agent". Can't really add context without completely rewording that section.
 * 12) * You mention some brief early stuff in the intro that needs repeated in the biography section.
 * 13) **Could you be a bit more specific? I don't see any info in the intro that isn't repeated in the Bio, but I might just be overlooking it.
 * 14) ***I looked up the source material and made some tweaks to the wording also. You should be fine now. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:45, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * The whole first paragraph of Velmorian advisor is awkwardly worded. It needs to flow a little more smoothly, and I think, combined with the objection above, that organizing it chronologically will help.
 * 16) **I'll work on this as soon as I can figure out how the earlier objection applies.
 * 17) * Consistently de-capitalize King and Queen when not used as proper nouns. I fixed several of these, but there are several. Think of it this way: a king is not capitalized, but King George III would be. Etc.
 * 18) **Fixed
 * 19) * Is Loren Human? A bit more context there would be nice.
 * 20) **We don't really know anything about Loren. We know that Leia was able to pass herself off as Loren 20 years later, so we can assume that she was at least humanoid, but that's about it. I'd add more context, but all we really know is that she was from Alderaan. Any suggestions?
 * 21) ***No, that's fine. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:45, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * A couple words of context on Ycaqt would be nice.
 * 23) **Done.
 * 24) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 22:13, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks for the review. Cull Tremayne 23:20, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Elbo

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ah, the creepy uncle of Star Wars.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Huh.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:32, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:30, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 2) * Image:Crab King.JPG has an image improvement tag on it.
 * 3) **I'll upload another version, but it'll still be basically the same VHS quality.
 * 4) ***Boo, VHS —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:30, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * So did the Ewoks convince Elbo to give the second test, as per the intro, or did Elbo convince the Ewoks to have Latara do a second test, as "The second test" seems to say ? —Xwing328 (Talk) 02:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Elbo agreed to a second test, which he thought up, but the Ewoks' presence is what convinced him to give Kneesaa a second test. So...both really. Any suggestions on making it more clear? Cull Tremayne 02:41, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Changing that one word makes it clearer, at least for me. —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:26, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Nelani Dinn

 * Nominated by: IFYLOFD Talk 03:44, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This was more fun to work on than Goran Beviin, I can tell ya that.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Objections resolved per IRC discussion with IFYLOFD. DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Currently, the last paragraph of the BtS is unsourced, and IFYLOFD is currently looking for something to source it by. If anyone could help him out with finding that source, it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers, DC 15:31, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Darth Sion

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 15:09, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: ZOMBIES

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) It seems like some of the KOTOR II info might need a bit more ambiguity, but still really good. Cull Tremayne 22:53, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) Nice work. However, I am not quite satisfied with some of the images. It seems some of the in-game screenshots have been shot at less-than-optimal graphics settings. This is true of the images Image:Sion Triumvirate.jpg, Image:Sion Korriban.jpg, and Image:Sion Atton.jpg. Try going back and re-shooting them with higher settings, or get someone like, say, Redemption to help you out. Additionally, is Image:Harbinger Bridge.png shot with the high-res movie patch installed? If not, it should ideally be re-done. Cheers. --Imperialles 10:32, 14 October 2008 (UTC)