Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * Featured article history
 * Featured article queue
 * Featured article nominations history
 * FA queue checklist
 * What is a featured article?

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."
 * 6) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

Also remember to add FAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week, the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." Although articles do not need regular users' votes to pass, non-Inquisitors are encouraged to review articles and participate in the process.
 * 6) Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Every Sunday and Thursday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

Star Wars Trading Card Game

 * Nomination by: - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:34, 6 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope that this gets through, and improves when if you spot something I've overlooked.

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Shouldn't there be a conception section, as well as a reception section? Create those, and I'll come back to give it an all out review. DC 21:29, 7 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added a reception section. Also put a note on your talk page - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:46, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa's Silver Hammer:
 * 4) *Rather than listing each expansion set within that section, the article would benefit from subsectioning each item and briefly providing a brief summary of each, explaining what each new expansion brought to the table, how it changed/contributed to the overall game, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:06, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 6) * When did the license switch from Decipher to WotC?
 * 7) **Added.
 * 8) * The last sentence of the first paragraph and the first sentence of the third paragraph are very redundant.
 * 9) **Got rid of the second one.
 * 10) * Source the "parry" statement in the Bts.
 * 11) **Sourced.
 * 12) *Do a major copy edit. There are several typos, and many of your sentences are not grammatically correct. (i.e. "To play the game you will need a deck, this normally means building one, deck building is quite easy, as long as your deck stays within all of these rules it should be legal.") Take this into something like Microsoft Word that has a built in grammar checker if you really need to. Don't forget to italicize titles such as Attack of the Clones.
 * 13) *Once you fill out the "Expansions" sections, a select few pictures of some of the expansion sets may complement it nicely.
 * 14) *Fill out and source the infobox as much as possible. I imagine the developer was Deciper or WotC? Was there an "engine" (if you could call d6, d12, etc. and engine)? —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:13, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
 * A fundamental problem here is that you have a "Behind the scenes" section in an OOU article. This article should all be about the "Behind the scenes" development of the game, and focus less on how the game is played. Thefourdotelipsis 02:34, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Don't quite follow, are you saying that the Bts should be combined with the rest of the article and expanded? - Kingpin13Cantina Battle Ground 10:19, 10 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm saying that there should be some kind of information about the conception, and development, and reception, and no BTS at all. It should all be BTS. There should also be an appearances section for the initial set. Thefourdotelipsis 11:25, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Derek Klivian

 * Nomination by: - Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My other summer nom. Image replacement by Red is ongoing. Havac 16:32, 12 September 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/0 users/0 total)
Support

Object

Comments

Janek Sunber

 * Nomination by: Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Well, if it doesn't pass, at least it'll meet GA standards now. Havac 07:26, 14 September 2008 (UTC)

(4 Inqs/0 users/4 total)
Support
 * 1) Read this ages ago and forgot to vote. Green Tentacle (Talk) 00:47, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Superb. Thefourdotelipsis 06:40, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Same old song and dance. Cull Tremayne 12:37, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:22, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Pretty much all the images in this article need to be re-scanned.
 * Image:Sunber-in-your-face.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-action.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Ziering.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-closeup.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Luke-Kalist.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-sleepless.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-Luke-fight.jpg
 * Image:Sunber-working.jpg
 * --Imperialles 20:54, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Source list should include every item in which the words "That's what you said when Biggs and Tank left" appear. Right now, it's lacking. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:44, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **If you have a list of sources that say that, then please add it. Otherwise, I'm not aware of anything else that should be on there and isn't. In the novelization, the line omits Tanks and just mentions Biggs. Havac 03:47, 12 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I recall, before Sunber and Tank were revealed to be the same, fans wondering about Tank and Randy Stradley specifically saying something about how they had plans for him. Could be good information for the BTS, if I'm not making it up and someone could find the source (I think it's on the DH boards). Since I don't have the source, I'm Commenting this and not objecting. - Lord Hydronium 09:25, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Google isn't turning up anything, but I'll keep poking around a little. Havac 17:42, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I seem to be incorrect on the source. In this thread Quest mentions Pablo saying it, I suspect in Insider. Also, later Barlow gives a little more info on when they developed the Sunber/Tank thing. - Lord Hydronium 18:14, 15 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Someone wrote into Pablo's regular column in Star Wars Insider asking about Tank, and how we've never heard about him. Pablo said something was in the works. -LtNOWIS 02:56, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Sirak

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: A double-bladed lightsaber-wielding Zabrak? How original&hellip;from WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object -- Jaina Solo ( Talk ) 23:50, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) BtS needs sourcing. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:14, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) * Adjudsted so that the Bts is sourced within the paragraph. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 21:33, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still not sourced. "Karpyshyn has acknowledged this error, and requested that readers consider Vaapad to read Juyo instead" isn't self-sourcing. Neither is the info about Mace creating Vaapad. You need a ref note with the specific blog link, and possibly another one about the creation of Vaapad. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:58, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Jaina Solo: 
 * 6) * "He was rumored amongst some of the apprentices that Sirak had begun training under the Korriban Academy's Headmaster, Qordis, some twenty years before."--Reword and expand.
 * 7) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "During his time at the Academy, Sirak rose through the throng of students to become the top apprentice there. He won the admiration of two fellow Zabraks within the Academy, the twins Yevra and Llokay, though he was by far their superior in skill. The two apprentices followed Sirak constantly, giving the appearance of obedient servants following their master. Compared to the other students, his power was so great that several apprentices believed Sirak was the Sith'ari, an embodiment of the dark side itself."--POV; please reword.
 * 9) **Addressed above, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Academy/academy"--Please choose one.
 * 11) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * "Furious and desperate for vengeance, Sirak plotted ways of killing Bane. His opportunity presented itself when Githany, a deserter of the Jedi Order and Bane's other secret teacher alongside Kas'im, sought Sirak out to kill Bane. Along with his Zabrak kin Llokay and Yevra, he waited in the library while Githany lured Bane to them. However, Githany had also betrayed the Zabrak trio, furnishing Bane with his lightsaber to defend himself. The former Jedi killed the twin Zabrak with her lightwhip, and Bane decapitated Sirak even as he begged for mercy.”--This could be reworded to make the paragraph flow better.
 * 13) **Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "Although there were other apprentices who used this style of saber…"—Style of saber?
 * 15) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Bane had spent much time in his secret training learning the techniques of the double-bladed saber that both Sirak and Kas'im wielded, seeking to understand it and so nullify it's advantage of being unfamiliar to most students." Sounds confusing; please reword.
 * 17) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * In the last paragraph of Rivalry with Bane, you use "seeking" twice.
 * 19) **Addressed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * "All the apprentices were granted the title of Dark Lord of the Sith, declared equal in the Brotherhood, and furnished with their own lightsabers.” Isn’t there a word missing here?
 * 21) **Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:11, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * ”He was the most powerful of the three Zabrak studying at the Academy during the end of the New Sith Wars."—POV
 * 23) **The book does describe him as the strongest of the three. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 22:52, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) ***That's still POV, as worded. If you say that he was deemed to be, was considered as, or believed himself as the most powerful, that's NPOV. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:39, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *Tense issues in BtS.
 * 27) **Addressed. Thank you for the read, Jaina. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:28, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * The introduction's triple paragraphs are disproportionate to the size of the article itself. It could be cut back by one paragraph. "Although there were other apprentices who used this type of saber, Sirak's the student Bane noted it was only Sirak that wielded the weapon with any kind of skill, apart from the Twi'lek Blademaster of the Academy, Kas'im." - I'm aware that this is some kind of mistake, I'm just not sure what it should be. Thefourdotelipsis 09:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only)
 * 1)  Objection left unaddressed for over a month. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:08, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) If Xadun decides to return, I'll have no problem striking this, but move it or lose it otherwise. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:03, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Do not remove nomination (Inquisitorius vote only) Comments
 * 1) Tommy appears to have taken it over and made some work on it.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:31, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I hope you don't misunderstand our colleagues' "move it or lose it" message as conveyed by removal votes. I almost voted to remove this one, too, until I saw it had been worked on since the vote began. Graestan ( Talk ) 03:36, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **No, of course not. I was contemplating voting with them as well, when I saw Tommy's note. I decided to wait a few days to see if any objections were addressed, and since they were, I figured I would set up the "don't remove nom" vote just to make sure people were aware that it was no longer lying dormant. I have no problems with moving idle noms off the FAN page. ;-) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 05:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) If Tommy has agreed to take it over, then I see no reason to remove it.  Greyman ( Talk ) 15:08, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I will take over his noms n his absence. Please give a little time to begin fully addressing the objections. Thank you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 18:57, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Kopecz

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: The natural counterpart to Kas'im. Again, WP:NSW

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) It's likely missing info from the Official Star Wars Fact File in relation to his early life. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:15, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Neither my partner or I has access to the fact file, so if you can provide it, we'd both be greatly appreciative. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:41, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I don't either, unfortunately; you might want to ask Jaymach or Cav or anyone else with access to them. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:16, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***After obtaining the Fact File, it has been determined that there is no new info. It says pretty much the same things as PoD does. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:56, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Fair enough. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:58, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 7) *The Quote attribution is a little unclear in "The Brotherhood of Darkness" section.
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) *The opening paragraph of the bio needs a bit more context. When did he live, what species he was, what his homeworld was etc. It starts off with him leaving the Jedi Order but it should start with him leaving Ryloth and becoming a Jedi in the first place.
 * 10) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 11) *"attempting to establish a system with numerous Dark Lords" &mdash; bit of context on the significance of this, please. What was a Dark Lord and how was Kaan's approach different?
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) *"Together, the three Sith planned the Battle of Korriban&mdash;after the Brotherhood re-took the ancient Sith homeworld..." &mdash; this also needs context and to be properly explained. As is it seems to be assuming the reader is already familiar with the information. They planned the battle; who actually fought in it? Did Kopecz? Re-took the Sith homeworld from whom? Etc.
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) *"Kopecz, however, remained with Kaan to continue the war against the Galactic Republic." &mdash; again, context is needed here. This is the first mention of a war with the Republic, and if Kopecz is "continuing" the battle then he'd have to already been participating, but that's not been mentioned before in the bio. This stuff could easily go with the first paragraph.
 * 16) **I believe this too has been addressed through handling of previous objections.
 * 17) *The stuff about the Battle of Ulahore needs some changes; it's not presented in chronological order at present. The outcome of the battle isn't mentioned, either. I'm also not sure if the stuff about Bane establishing the Rule of Two at a later point is really appropriate, but it's up to you if you want to keep it.
 * 18) **That section talks about Ulabore (a person), not Ulahore. The battle mentioned at this point is at Phaseera. Also, I removed the bit about Bane and the RoT, which I agree, isn't really appropriate here.
 * 19) *"was like he had his teeth on their throats" -- please reword to read less colloquially.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) *"Kopecz then mounted his flyer and took off for the battle, which seemed would result in a victory for the Sith." -- this reads awkwardly at best "which seemed would;" also, seemed to whom?
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) *We jump from the third battle to the sixth quite suddenly. Some mention that the Sith and Republic remained in war for several battles/X amount of time would be prudent.
 * 24) **It should be good now.
 * 25) *"Following their defeat, Kopecz joined the remaining members of the Brotherhood in a network of caves at Kaan's order. He explained to Githany and Darovit that Kaan intended to use the thought bomb to defeat the Jedi, at which Githany chose to flee, taking Darovit with her." &mdash; again, this makes little to no sense for those who aren't familiar with the topic/source material. Who's Darovit? You've already mentioned Githany before but another mention of who she is wouldn't go amiss. What's a thought bomb, what's the significance of it, and why did Githany want to flee? Also, you need to mention Kopecz finding out about it before he tells anyone.
 * 26) *"Kopecz was committed to joining Kaan and the others, swept up in Kaan's manipulation through the Force" needs some clarifcation.
 * 27) *The "Thought bomb" and "Last stand" sections are both extremely short and should be merged/resectioned.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) *Context on the defenders of the caves, please. Also, explain that the Seventh Battle of Ruusan is -- presumably -- the battle in the caves; it's not all that clear and jumps fairly suddenly. Farfalla's also introduced rather suddenly; please amend.
 * 30) *BtS: mention his appearance in PoD and how it expanded his backstory yada yada before moving on to the eye colour. Also, why is the Galactic Campaign Guide info not in the bio. It should be.
 * 31) **Decent read, but remember that you're writing a character biography, not a summary of the comics. Also note that the majority of the readers won't be familiar with the source material so explain and contextify things fully. Lastly, Bane has obviously never seen Orn Free Taa. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:58, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Many thanks to Cavalier One for providing the Fact File for me. Like Xadún's others, I will be taking this one over as well in his absence. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:56, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Duel in the Korriban Academy

 * Nominated by: -- Darth Xadún 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: In conjunction with Sirak and WP:NSW

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * I dislike referring to the Zabrak as "kin"&mdash;that implies a more familial relationship. Please reword.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "Githany secretly believed she could" She could what?
 * 5) *Lots of little tweaks were needed on this. Nevertheless, have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **Addressed. Thank you, Ataru. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:09, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * A scerrick of context on why the students would be sent to Ruusan would be appreciated. Thefourdotelipsis 22:13, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nom now under Anvil management. Don't be shy, Inqs, it's not very long. It won't bite;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:24, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

Gobee

 * Nominated by: -- —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Oron Kira wasn’t the only badass Beast Rider.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:01, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Graestan ( Talk ) 02:36, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Cull Tremayne 12:32, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Since I know you love longer introductions, hah, I'm going to suggest that you lengthen that intro a bit (within reason!) and add a bit more. This article is substantially longer than another which you've written, and it has a tiny intro! :P Any chance you could expand it a little bit, Tom?
 * 3) **LOL, and addressed.
 * 4) * I know some people like to say the lead quote doesn't matter and that quotes are subjective...but, I like to see the opposite side of that fence; any chance we could get a more descriptive selection for the lead quote at the beginning? Something that speaks to Gobee's character, or personality, rather than what's there currently? I'm on the edge with this one, so if you're not comfortable with changing, just let me know and I'll strike regardless.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) *I haven't finished reading it yet, but if there's anything else in the coming days that I can't fix, I'll let you know :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:26, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Again, it is my pleasure. Thank you, and I await your further review. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 06:09, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Ok, round 2 (this should be it): Upon reading the section "The Naddists' return," I noticed that you use the events laid out in the audio drama. As with some of your other FANs/FAs you know that there is a conflict in regards to what actually happens&mdash;the audio drama, for the part pertaining the FNU, says one thing about the battle with Null and the events after it, while the FNU comics say something different. In this article you use the events from the audio drama which state that Jeth is aware of Ommin and follows the ground-borer in the tunnel to track down Ommin. However, in the comics Galia says that Jeth should seek out her father who is sick, and Jeth believes that Ommin's help is the key to defeating the dark side. I'd like to see either a) some sort of middle-ground written with regards to this event, and any others in this section that need it, or b) keep it as it is, slap the "conflicting sources" template at the top with the appropriate sources, and then slap some ref tags on the conflicting events explaining the "other side" of the coin...or, to be precise, what happened in the comic. Actually, regardless of what you decide to do, the "conflicting sources" template should really be at the top anyways. Likewise, the conflicting information should also be addressed, either way you do it, in the BtS in a few detailed paragraphs. I understand the problem because if you tweak the actual article info too much, then you run the risk of causing confusion over what Gobee's role (and resulting events) were. However, I feel that it should be made known, somehow, that there are conflicting sources out there!
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * In the "Personality and traits" section, any chance of getting a few more examples of how he was a good soldier, etc. etc?
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Per above, for the "Abilities" section I think it would be best if the reader had some examples that speak to Gobee's "espionage" talents, and his abilities as a "capable leader." Likewise, I think it would be beneficial if there were some specific examples where he kicked ass using the various fighting-talents you mention, with both blaster(s) and knives. Lastly, you mention at the start that he is capable of flying the Drexl, so some examples (or just one) could be used there too. Other than these few things, good article, Tommy. Greyman ( Talk ) 13:33, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Addressed. Thanks for the read, Grey. It is both what the teacher teaches, and what the student learns. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 18:37, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ***No problemo. Greyman ( Talk ) 18:57, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Seeker-torpedo launcher.jpg is very low quality. Re-scan it. --Imperialles 10:21, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Addressed. Thank you for your IRC assistance, Imperialles. If anything else is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:45, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) The audio drama is an adaptation, not an alternate and conflicting source. There really is no need for a template; a mention in the BtS is sufficient. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:04, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *Removed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:35, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) From the Editor-in-Chief:
 * 5) * In the intro, please be more specific about the origins of the Beast Riders&mdash;how they came together from survivors of the exiles. As is, it seems you describe a group of people exiled together.
 * 6) **Added a little, and slightly changed the wording around. Should be good now.
 * 7) * The origin and nature of the Beast Riders needs to be included in the beginning of the bio.
 * 8) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 9) * Referring to the people of Iziz as "civilized" is a bit of a POV statement about them and the Beast Riders.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * Does "Beast Warrior Commando" need to be capitalized thus? Is it established as an official title for a unit? The answer to this will help me decide what to do about the article in question, as well.
 * 12) **I believe so. It seemed to be capitalized in the comics (though everything seems capitalized in the comics), and it definitely appears as the official title for the unit in BWOO.
 * 13) * Same goes for "Royal Protector." To be fair, "Beast Rider army" follows the precedent I am trying to enforce.
 * 14) **I hear you. The Royal Protectors were specifically designated, but as for capitalization, ditto my answer above. If you feel that they should be lower cased, however, advise me and I will do so.
 * 15) * If Gobee first appeared in the comics, regardless of where he was first named, that is his first appearance. The appearance list reflects this, but the BtS states otherwise.
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * Graestan ( Talk ) 19:23, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) **Appreciate the review, Grae. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Using "Oron Kira" every time you mention him is very much a flaw of the source material that we don't really need here. :P Unless there's some really good reason for doing so. Also, the reveal that the raid was actually planned by Galia or whatever shouldn't be a "reveal" after the fact - since you're working from Gobee's perspective, it's not a secret to him, is it? Also, I would disagree with Graestan on the point of the use "Two conflicting" template&mdash;it is an adaptation, true, but it is an adaptation on the same tier of canon as that which it is adapting, unlike a novelization of a film. I'd like to see it back up there, as the audio drama clearly doesn't jive with the comic at all on the subject of Gobee. Mainly, the purpose of that template is to make sure readers are immediately aware that some of what they're reading may not be true in the face of other content. Thefourdotelipsis 23:56, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Replaced the template, removed some of the "Orons", and reworded the raid-masquerade bit. See if the last two are to your liking, and if not, I'll try again. Appreciate the review, Fourdot. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:39, 18 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * No sources for this guy. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:13, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Any change to get some ogg files of this guy's dialogue? --Eyrezer 21:04, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I will attempt, Eyr. It would be a good thing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:59, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Why do we know that this specific bald guy is Gobee? If it's because he has the same dialogue in the comic as he does in the audio drama, then that should probably be noted in the BtS. If it's not, then just a few sentences on how we know what character in the comic that the audio drama is trying to represent. Cull Tremayne 12:32, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the review Cull. Addressed, I believe, and it is for the reason you stated. Check that out, and if it's not clean enough please feel free to reword it. I was having a tough time trying to manage the phrasing. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:04, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Raid on the Iziz Royal Palace

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Damsel in distress.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) So that's where you've been lately...  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 15:03, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the physics homework Chack Jadson is not doing right now:
 * 2) * Bit too much PBP in intro
 * 3) **Really? I left out maaad details in the intro. Care to assist? —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:48, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Just "As Ulic Qel-Droma stepped forward to offer the protection of both the Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order to the Queen". I feel that this could be rephrased a tad. I dislike the "stepped forward" bit.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:31, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Addressed.
 * 6) * "For 400 years" Is this an exact date? if so, link.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Your " seem to be off in the quotes (no spaces are necessary).
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * "Sounds of blaster fire could be heard in the background as Novar answered the comlink from the defense towers." A bit too flowery.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * "Ulic Qel-Droma arrived at that same moment with proud stories of how the Riders he had engaged in battle met their demise, but was quickly silenced by the sight a distressed Amanoa." I don't think this is necessary.
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * "laughing ominously at the young, novice Jedi, awaiting their return." Same thing; I'd say this is unneeded.
 * 15) **Addressed.
 * 16) * "Veitch also used as the first official mission of his new characters Ulic and Cay Qel-Droma, and Tott Doneeta". Is a word missing?
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) *Very nice Tommy. You've come a long way. I'm impressed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:08, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Iziz Royal Palace.JPG and Image:PoorAmanoa.JPG are very low quality. Re-scan 'em. --Imperialles 10:20, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) *Addressed the first one, working on the second one. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:45, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) **The second one has also been addressed. Many thanks to JMAS, for the clean images. If still unsatisfactory, Imp, please advise, and I'll rectify. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:11, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * The part where Jeth tells his apprentices of Onderon's history should be presented earlier in the piece, and not as something that Jeth speaks of, to remove that point of view aspect. Actually, that problem runs throughout the article, as you're telling this from the perspective of the Jedi. A more objective view would be desirable, where you wouldn't have to reveal what and who people are - just say who and what they are as soon as they appear. You should also talk about why Kira and Gobee are performing the raid, etc. Thefourdotelipsis 02:43, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Chack, was this supposed to be for the Raid on the Royal Palace article? If so, I've addressed each as you have stated. Thanks for the review! —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Heh, yeah. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:00, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Battle of Iziz (Beast Wars)

 * Nominated by: -- Tommy9281 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ will never die!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:04, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Greyman:
 * 2) * Like I mentioned to you in #WP:TotJ the other day, that intro needs to be taken to the butcher shop and sliced-and-diced by quite a bit :P From giving it a quick glance over, everything else appears in order -- I'll give 'er a more thorough read within the coming days, Tommy :) Greyman ( Talk ) 13:41, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, and if there is anything else required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) The audio drama is an adaptation, not an alternate and conflicting source. There really is no need for a template; a mention in the BtS is sufficient. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:04, 2 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *I hate that template anyway. Removed. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:47, 2 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Dedicated to my young friend Master Ooroo, who originally undertook this endeavour with me. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:01, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Duel in the Senate (Great Sith War)

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:29, 16 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: If you were to face an ancient Sith lord in combat, you would learn that we are as children playing with toys compared to the prowess of the old Masters.

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  18:53, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cull Tremayne 00:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:52, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think the intro is far too long in comparison to the rest of the article. It's contributes almost a third of the article's overall word count. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:07, 16 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, I believe. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:54, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Honestly, I think it's quite a bit too big. I'll strike but I'd like to see others' opinions on the matter. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:50, 24 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Per Ackbar on this one. For the length of the article, the introduction is a little bit too long and encompasses a whee bit too much detail. Having read the article recently, I have no other concerns, but I'd like to see that intro trimmed down a bit more. Thoughts, Tommy?  Greyman ( Talk ) 09:12, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed. Please advise if it is still too long. Thanks for the review as well, it is always a pleasure. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:13, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **No problemo :) Greyman ( Talk ) 12:26, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Chack:
 * 8) * "the present Jedi Supreme Chancellor" I don't understand this. Please rephrase.
 * 9) **Addresed.
 * 10) * "such havac throughout stars that both the Jedi and the Republic were steadily confounded by defeats in battle." This leads up to such a climactic end, and then it's just "they were beat a lot". :P Seriously, it could use a wording change.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) * Good article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:45, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review Chack. Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:54, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) Header
 * 15) * "Baas' demands that Exar Kun relinquish his contemptuous actions were quickly refused by the latter, who instead tempted Master Baas with considering a dalliance with the dark side of the Force." This is just ridiculously flowery. I'm fine with artistic wording here and there, but this is just anti-encyclopedic with the way it's worded. Referring to Baas as the latter is just a bizarre word choice and comes off confusing, as well as describing Kun's actions as "contemptuous" being pretty POV. Also..."dalliance with the dark side"? Are you serious? :P Let's get away from the King Arthur-esque wording please. This whole sentence needs to be reworded. There are a couple other times in the article where I think you're going a little too far beyond just "telling what happens on the page", but not enough to object to. Cull Tremayne 14:11, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Lol, I do admit I get a little carried away sometimes. I'll fix this I have now addressed this, but please, catch me in IRC, so you and I can go over whatever else you feel is a little extreme. I have no problems working that out as well. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:45, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Reads much better that way. Nice job. I'm sure I'll see you in IRC at some point, but that was really the only major objection I had. Cull Tremayne 00:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 19) * Can the opening sentence be done so as not to have two bits in bold. It looks a little tidier. Not a biggy if you can't.
 * 20) **Eh, I'd prefer to leave it as is, if you don't mind. I'd have to do some painstaking reworking otherwise.
 * 21) ***Fair enough. Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:40, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) * Vodo's staff. Article worthy? If so, redlink it.
 * 23) **Lol, me and my big mouth. I'll link it and creat the article sometime soon.
 * 24) ***You'll have to, since there's now a redlink in the intro. :P Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:40, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) ****Done. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:41, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * The last paragraph of the intro isn't really about the Senate duel and is explained later on. Lose it unless there's a good reason to keep it there.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * Wikipedia links should be avoided in IU stuff where possible. The puppet link can go and cephalopod should probably be reworded anyway, unless it's a canon description of him.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * First paragraph of "The trial of Qel-Droma" isn't sourced. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:57, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Oops. Addressed. Appreciate the review, GT. If anything else is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:28, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Johun Othone

 * Nominated by: DC 01:46, 21 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bah, I couldn't stand not nominating it after finishing it.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:43, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cull Tremayne 12:13, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Object


 * From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 1) Opening paragraph in the intro: Othone fought with Hoth during these wars, especially during the Ruusan campaign, in which Hoth was killed when the Sith detonated a thought bomb on Ruusan, destroying themselves, Hoth, and ninety-nine other Jedi. Bit of a jerky, run-on sentence. Also has three uses of "Hoth". Consider breaking up/ rewording to flow better.
 * 2) *Broken up and reworded.
 * 3) Nitpicky I know, but Othone and his family had worked at a farm - if Othone was taken by the Jedi at age ten, did he work on the farm, or just his family?
 * 4) *I'm pretty sure he worked on the farm.
 * 5) He used a mind trick on a female soldier named Irtanna, who was piloting a Envoy-class shuttle christened the Star-Wake down to Ruusan, to convince her that he was going along with her, just as the Ruusan native Bordon and his sons Tallo and Wend, the ship's crew. This sentence is unclear, especially the ending. I believe I know what you are trying to convey, but it needs rewriting/rewording to be clearer.
 * 6) *Cleared up.
 * 7) More context needed on the deaths of Irtanna, Bordon, Tallo, and Wend.
 * 8) *Context given.
 * 9) In the P&T Othone was also a Jedi who was more loyal to the Chancellor and the Senate than the Jedi Council, evidenced by his defiance of the Council during the construction of the Valley of the Jedi. Is this actually stated, or did Othone use the Senate for his own ends to bring about the memorial? -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 08:59, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *It's implied that he is more more to them rather than the council. He stays with the Chancellor for 10 years and ignores missions given to him by the council, and his defiance just reinforces his position.
 * 11) **Thanks for the review. DC 18:42, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***Not a problem. Nice article. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 11:02, 29 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) Chack's review:
 * 14) * "Therefore" is used in two sentences in a row in the intro.
 * 15) **Fixed.
 * 16) * I suggest mentioning that he wanted a memorial specifically to honor Hoth.
 * 17) **Done.
 * 18) * I thought Bane was on Ruusan, just not in the cave. Am I remembering wrong? I may very well be, though.
 * 19) **Nope, Bane was in the cave. That's how Darovit knew he survived and that Bane was Zannah's master.
 * 20) * You use Othone too many times in the last paragraph of Ruusan Reformation. Same in the second paragraph of Creating a memorial, and second paragraph of P&T.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) * Is there an article for Kelad’den blades? If not, please create one.
 * 23) **It's techinically a vibroblade, so I'm linking it there, and I'll add his blades there.
 * 24) * You use vandalize three times in the third paragraph of Creating a memorial.
 * 25) **Cut down.
 * 26) * Didn't his loss of skill come from 10 years as a political aide, with little time to practice his lightsaber skills? If so, this needs to go in powers.
 * 27) **Yep. Added.
 * 28) *Impressive article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:20, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **Thanks for the review. DC 15:18, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Tommytime
 * 31) * Your quote formatting needs to be cleaned up, attributions as well.
 * 32) **Addressed via IRC. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 16:22, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) * There were only four Jedi lightsabers on Tython. Worror never carried one.
 * 34) ** Wrong on my part. Raskta Lsu fought with two. In light of that, nowever, some sort of clarification is needed at that part of the article for those who don't know that Worror didn't use one, and that Lsu used two. As it is, it is misleading. Maybe during an earlier mention of Worror you can throw in that he didn't have one, while Lsu had two? —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 05:19, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * In the " Creating a memorial" section, the quote doesn't match the section title. I would suggest either changing the quote or the section title. There are quotes sufficent for what you are trying to say with the title, btw.
 * 36) * "Jedi Master", and other formal titles deserve capitalization.
 * 37) **Addressed via IRC. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 16:22, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) **There was only one "Master" in need of capitalization, which I fixed. "master" (small m) is used numerous times but this is correct; it should be "...described him as Zannah's master" and not "Zannah's Master." In this case it's not a formal title, and such "masters" might be Knights and not Masters (hence the "Known masters infobox field). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:21, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) *A good copy-edit would do this article justice, IMO. See if you can work that out. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 12:09, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * You might want to be more specific when you're sourcing how people responded to the character of Johun Othone. Sourcing to just "Jedi Council Forums" is pretty vague. Cull Tremayne 12:13, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Morag

 * Nominated by: -- Cull Tremayne 02:06, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This page isn't crowded enough.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:22, 5 November 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the Well Worn Path:
 * 2) * Intro: I'd suggest changing "eventually" to once, as this is your first mention of this conflict, and there's no exact date.
 * 3) **Good point. Changed.
 * 4) * Sorry, but all your refs are too small. They are literally smaller than others (like I said on another of your articles). Hope that explains it well. Please ask if you need more explanation.
 * 5) **Not sure why I did that, but it's fixed now.
 * 6) * Did she explicitly use the dark side, as you link from dark arts to that article.
 * 7) **I don't think the words "dark side of the Force" are explicitly used, but the dark arts of other Ewok magical creatures has been referenced as such, so I don't know how much of a stretch it is to link to that article. Suggestions?
 * 8) ***I'll ask around on IRC, and try to get a consensus from some other Inqs.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:20, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Cull, most people know little about the Ewok stuff (or don't know a ton, at least), so I'd have to say I suggest removing said link. If you disagree, could you give me some examples of Ewok articles that link to dark side in similar cases? If you do remove the link, you have my permission to strike this objection, and I'll then vote support when I get back on Tuesday. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:05, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Can't really think of a similar situation in our articles, but the magic of someone like Charal has been referenced as the Force. I guess I don't see any harm in removing the link, since there's no explicit connection between Morag's dark arts and the dark side of the Force. However, I think there's enough peripheral information to justify the connection. Cull Tremayne 22:26, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * "In a later plot, the forests of Endor had been subject to a long draught." I don't like the way this is worded. Please rephrase it.
 * 12) **Reworded.
 * 13) * "Special mention needs to be given to Morag's abilities with plants." This is bit too OOU.
 * 14) **Reworded. Cull Tremayne 21:04, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:51, 23 October 2008 (UTC)

Darth Sion

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 15:09, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: ZOMBIES

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) It seems like some of the KOTOR II info might need a bit more ambiguity, but still really good. Cull Tremayne 22:53, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:13, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Excellent. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:49, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Excellent improvements in a very short time. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 17:32, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Excellent stuff - makes me wish Kotor II's cut content was removed ... -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 09:24, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Jinzler 21:36, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) The article itself is excellent. My only concern would be, IF, Sion does turn out to be Lucien Draay, then a whole lot of re-writting is going to need to be done. Jayce Carver 10:08, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nice work. However, I am not quite satisfied with some of the images. It seems some of the in-game screenshots have been shot at less-than-optimal graphics settings. This is true of the images Image:Sion Triumvirate.jpg, Image:Sion Korriban.jpg, and Image:Sion Atton.jpg. Try going back and re-shooting them with higher settings, or get someone like, say, Redemption to help you out. Additionally, is Image:Harbinger Bridge.png shot with the high-res movie patch installed? If not, it should ideally be re-done. Cheers. --Imperialles 10:32, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) I have seen a lot of fan discussion over whether Haazen could be Sion. I'm fairly sure this has been established to be incorrect, but I wonder if it would be appropriate to add to the BTS. It could certainly be sourced. On other occasions we have included some notes about fan reception. --Eyrezer 18:02, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *After some discussion in IRC, I'm rather uncertain about this. I'm fine with fan theories for things that haven't been settled or turned out to be correct, but I'm not so sure about ones that have been shown to be wrong. - Lord Hydronium 18:53, 16 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Sounds fair enough. --Eyrezer 04:54, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) There is some speculation that Lucien Draay is in fact Sion, as can be seen here. While this is probably wrong, as it contradicts the Great Sith War stuff, the name "Darth Sion" is mentioned in Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic 34: Vindication, Part 3 by Haazen as a possible Sith name that Draay will take in the future. I think that this contention is perhaps worthy of some mention in the article --Jinzler 16:47, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *It's mentioned in the in-universe parts of the article. OOU, since it's contradicted, I'd prefer to go with the reasoning used for Haazen and leave it out. - Lord Hydronium 00:43, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

I don't think we need to worry about Draay being Sion, since it indicates in the Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide that he isn't.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:37, 6 November 2008 (UTC)

Madam Rhoden

 * Nominated by: Yrfeloran 17:09, 24 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Gold-digger and GA

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:06, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 20:00, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) This was such a weird comic. Better than the Ord Mantell one though. Cull Tremayne 02:56, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:01, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Several redlinks I think should be killed.
 * 3) **Not a valid objection (< 3) Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I apologize. A bit of a n00b at this. :)
 * 5) * Why did the Green Forge want to shut Clode Rhoden's company down?
 * 6) **As noted in the intro, they're eco-terrorists, he's a mining magnate. Further explanation isn't really provided. Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * Provide context on Saul Moegantz. Who is he?
 * 8) **done Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 22:34, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 11) * Source or remove aquatic lifeform original research in BtS.
 * 12) **Done. I think someone else added that in the GA process Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * Not a strict objection, but I'd cut the section titled "loose lips" and merge it into "Jedi complications." The quote doesn't add anything anyways. However, should you choose not to, please reword the section title&mdash;that is a strict objection. ;-)
 * 14) **Done Yrfeloran 06:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) *Otherwise, more or less clean. Props on making cornflakes and have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:36, 29 October 2008 (UTC)

Comment
 * I kind of question using the word shik to describe Foahl. I know that's what Waverton calls him, but Tasty Taste confirmed that Podlong was a Givin, so shik is probably some derogatory insult that might border a little on the POV side since it's just Waverton's opinion. Other than that, cool choice, nice article. Cull Tremayne 02:56, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Not an objection but, since the BTS is so short, you could mention who drew her as well. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:01, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Worror

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:40, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first Jedi.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Another good job for you, Tommy. :)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 20:02, 30 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:07, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * Good job, but one little thing: Worror went to battle alongside such notable Masters as Lord Valenthyne Farfalla, and in the final campaign of the war, Worror served under Lord Hoth. An bit of an awkward sentence in my opinion. I suggest you reword it.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 22:56, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. Thank you, IFYLOFD. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 08:48, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Chack Attack:
 * 5) * "Most of his associates referred to him only by his first name, for only members of his native species possessed the four throats and two mouths required to pronounce his last." Unless the book explicitly says this, I don't think it's necessary.
 * 6) **Book explicitly says this.
 * 7) * Also, does it actually say that he never wielded a lightsaber?
 * 8) **Yessir, it actually says that he never carried/used one.
 * 9) *Good work Tommy.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:57, 12 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Always a pleasure, Chack. Thanks for the review.

Comment
 * Short.
 * No sources.
 * Miniscule BtS.
 * Single appearance. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:40, 26 October 2008 (UTC)

First Duel in the Iron Citadel

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:05, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Naturally, in the spirit of Wookieeproject TOTJ.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 23:02, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comment

Fohargh

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: None.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1) As long as Acky's objection is fixed. I, too, noticed that.  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:03, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Intro is quite short. Beef it a little por favor.
 * 3) **I would, given my track record for long intros, but there just isn't enough material. I'm not trying to inflate the thing ;)
 * 4) * Combo one of the bio sections with another; they're quite short.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Last sentence of Sith training needs moved. It should go after the beginning of the "First encounter" section. Regardless of how you do it, some reordering needs done in order to get the proper chronological ordering.
 * 7) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 8) ***Nope, not quite. I'd like to see Bane introduced before you start talking about his tension with Fohargh. Also, it looks like you just cut-n-pasted, which means there's an extraneous ref tag there. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:13, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I hear you. However, the story, as being told from Bane's POV, gives the opposite of what you are asking for. It's all about Bane until this small part, where Karpyshyn then mentions Fohargh. It has to be told in a delicate manner so as to avoid speculation and OR. I did change up the wording slightly, so as to sort of introduce Bane at the same point of the article. Please advise if this change is satisfactory or no. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *****I've made a minor rewording that still avoids the OR line, I think. Change it back if not, but that little fix was enough for me. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:09, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Personality and traits section is quite choppy. Please make it flow better.
 * 12) **Addressed, I believe.
 * 13) ***Nope. You end in a fragment that trails off . . . Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 00:13, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Wow I thought I saved the page. Addressed now, my fault.
 * 15) * There should be a link on the "defensive barriers" in P&A.
 * 16) **Oops. Addressed.
 * 17) * Actually, your P&A appears to be wrong: Fohargh did defeat Bane in combat, according to the bio, but failed to protect himself afterward. Your P&T should also include mention of this vindictiveness and arrogance. Please correct.
 * 18) ** I've been trying to catch you in IRC. Please let me know when you are on, so I can discuss this further with you. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:47, 5 November 2008 (UTC) Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:53, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 17:18, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) I know I raised this issue and ultimately struck it while this was on GAN, but I still have problems with the first paragraph of "Encounter with Bane." It's written as it would be in Bane's bio, and while I appreciate that the story is told from Bane's POV, you can still change it to be better. Bane seems to be the first subject mentioned in a lot of sentences, e.g. "This was not the case, and instead, Bane was soundly defeated by his saurian opponent" should read "This was no the case, and instead, Makurth soundly defeated Bane" or whatever. This persists throughout the entire bio and I'm not happy with it, though that paragraph is the most standout. "Weeks passed, and Bane had been relentlessly honing his lightsaber technique, in preparation for the day when he would face Fohargh again in the Academy's rooftop dueling ring. When that day arrived, Bane promptly entered the ring and beckoned his opponent, a challenge that was immediately met by Fohargh." Again, this is one example that should start with Fohargh and then mention Bane's preparations after Fohargh accepted the challenge. It's a bio for Fohargh, not a summary of SWDBPODANOTOR, and I think more can be done to make it read less like Bane's bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:44, 5 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Should be good now. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 02:53, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **Looks a good sight better. I noticed some stuff that reads a little narrative-y but I'll get back to you when I'm less tired with a full review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:58, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Comment
 * Short.
 * No sources.
 * Miniscule BtS.
 * Single appearance. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 09:00, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
 * That's okay, as long as he uses forms II and III, I support this guy. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:50, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Mosep Binneed

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:44, 4 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 18:27, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Nice, extensive BTS. Cull Tremayne 08:18, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Lobar Aybock

 * Nominated by: —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:17, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Be easy, it's my first FA nom ;) —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:10, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Cull Tremayne 08:36, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think the BtS could be expanded a little to mention that some factors in his life such as shockboxing and Tull Raine and his species and homeworld came from other sources initially. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:22, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I received some information from the author and tried to expand it a bit. Let me know what you think. —Xwing328 (Talk) 03:48, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Looks good. I created an "interview" subpage and copied Caledre's message on your talk page there to use as a ref note, which I think is the best way to source it. One thing you might want to do is mention that Calians and Shiva IV were references to Marvel, but other than that it looks good. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:28, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***You can move that to the WP:INT main page if it's not already there for purposes of organization and categorization. ;) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:19, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 6) * Contextify Cus in the intro.
 * 7) **Should be better now.
 * 8) * If he was not a shockboxer before his capture, that should be clarified in intro.
 * 9) **I think fixing the first fixed this, too.
 * 10) *The "bombing of his hometown" might need a battle link.
 * 11) **Does somebody more familiar with the Marvel stories want to write a battle article?
 * 12) * The early life section just doesn't flow well. See what you can do about making the sentences transition to each other a little better.
 * 13) **Hopefully if flows smoothly now.
 * 14) * Is it "shockboxing" or "shocboxing"? I've seen both.
 * 15) **Shockboxing. Fixed.
 * 16) * Contextify who the Rust Rats are and why they are important. It's not clear in the article what their relationship is with Aybock.
 * 17) * hub-buster should be linked.
 * 18) **Done. Now I'll have to write another article to fix redlinks.
 * 19) *I also feel P&T could be beefed a little more.
 * 20) **Beefed. —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:04, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Fascinating BtS. Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:18, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **Gracias. Thanks for the review. —Xwing328 (Talk) 17:45, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) Can we get that Tull Raine pic cropped to remove the border? --Eyrezer 20:22, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) *Done. —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:04, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Currently 6 redlinks: these should be taken care of within a day or two. The word count is approximately 1,200. And no, there are no images that can be used; they're all from Hyperspace. —Xwing328 (Talk) 04:17, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Actually, one of the Hyperspace images was on the SW.com main page for a time, so you could probably use that. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:22, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a crop of the one used to promote the story. Also, the artist posted the illustrations on Deviant Art, but I doubt that would be considered fair use to get a better picture from there, since they're technically Hyperspace images. —Xwing328 (Talk) 19:40, 6 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I'm pretty sure we have precedent for doing that with Trevas's stuff. Once it's in the wild, it's fair game. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 18:14, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

Orrimaarko

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:27, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Jek Tono Porkins

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:37, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: So long, Piggy. You will be avenged!

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Cover me, Porkins! -- Ozzel 23:55, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:57, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Read this earlier, forgot to vote. Awesome BtS by the way. Cull Tremayne 08:45, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) In the "Battle of Yavin" section, the sentence about the failed X-wing inspection feels a little tacked on. Might see if you can flow into it a little better. -- Ozzel 06:58, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *See if that's better. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:22, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yep! -- Ozzel 23:55, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * This might make a nice BTS picture, but it's not really necessary. -- Ozzel 07:07, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Added. Thanks. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:22, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

Celot Ratua Dil

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:32, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He is Teh Roxxor!

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 00:21, 11 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Short and well-done. Cull Tremayne 08:41, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 2) * Did it really say he was Force-sensitive? Also, you may want to add a P&A section to explain how he used his fast reflexes in classes with Stihl.
 * 3) **There's not enough for a whole section, IMO, so I added a paragraph in P&T. In regard to your first point, I would have sworn the book explicitly said he was Force-sensitive, but looking through it, all I could find was that it was very strongly implied. I think I might remove the bit about him being Force-sensitive, as it's somewhat of an interpretation. Advice from someone with knowledge on Death Star would be appreciated.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:22, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***You're probably thinking of Nova Stihl, who discovers he is Force-sensitive. Stihl was the one who passed out when Alderaan was destroyed, and said he had a power he called "Blink," or anticipating people's moves during fights. (I had to go look this up, too, because I didn't remember it). —Xwing328 (Talk) 20:04, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I think I am. The Force-sensitive stuff has been removed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:43, 10 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Maybe add a bit about the Hard Heart Cantina, since most of the story takes place there. —Xwing328 (Talk) 00:13, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **I added a small bit, but there's not much to say. Is there anything specific you'd like?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:22, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Maybe something about who owns it, where it's located on the Death Star, etc. Just a tiny bit of context. —Xwing328 (Talk) 20:04, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Added that info. Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:43, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * One source, no pictures. There is a reference, but that's an external link. He goes by Ratua in the novel, so that's why he's called that and not Dil.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:32, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Kalidor Crescent

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 00:52, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 20:17, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:47, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 16:48, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Cull Tremayne 07:34, 17 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  QuiGonJinn The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|20px]] 17:11, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) From the cockpit of Xwing328:
 * 2) * Under Toryn Farr, very simple context for Darlyn Boda. Was it their rendezvous point?
 * 3) * For Reyé Hollis, do we know what his promotion was?
 * 4) **Addressed via IRC —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:47, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) *Overall, a good read, and an interesting FA subject. —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:33, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) "However, many recipients later placed the award in a medal case rather than wear it." It seems more natural to say that "Many recipients stored the award in a metal case when not wearing it." Is this not just because the medal was worn only on formal occasions?
 * 7) *Reworded. Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:08, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) With regard to Farr, wasn't there more than 90 individuals on Bright Hope, but only 90 were able to be saved by Zuckuss and co? The rest went on escape pods back to Hoth, hence the need for her return mission there. --Eyrezer 08:32, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *I was going by her rather lacking Databank entry. I'll dig out my copy of Tales of the Bounty Hunters and expand it a little. Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:08, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Done. Green Tentacle (Talk) 15:43, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Lushros Dofine

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 02:28, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Dude.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:19, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:21, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cull Tremayne 08:11, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 2) * The intro should probably mention that the turbolaser killed him.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * "His calm demeanor helped him rise through the ranks of his society, although he earned of some of his fellow Neimoidians in the process." Earned what?
 * 5) **Ire. Fixed.
 * 6) * "&hellip;prompting Dofine to order his OOM pilot battle droid to magnetize, lest they fall to the front of the bridge. The pilots were able&hellip;" The droid(s) seems to switch from singular to plural there. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:11, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Fixed. Gah, stupid mistakes all. Thefourdotelipsis 03:21, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Tian Chyler

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 10:00, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "A woman." "Your powers of observation do you credit, Mr. Bond."

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Lord Darth Vader.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:30, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:01, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Short and sweet. Cull Tremayne 06:46, 16 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

OOM-9

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:18, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Roger, roger.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 21:35, 10 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Cull Tremayne 08:14, 17 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  QuiGonJinn The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|20px]] 17:07, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 2) * No manufacturer in the intro?
 * 3) * Not in the bio or characteristics, either?
 * 4) * Please explain why Sidious would want to undermine Valorum&mdash;what he stood to gain from it.
 * 5) * A bit of context for OOM-14; is he subordinate? What exactly does he command?
 * 6) * Context for YIN-762&mdash;what he is.
 * 7) * "Signal jammer" is used a few too many times close together. Can some alternatives be provided?
 * 8) * Graestan ( Talk ) 20:33, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Lutrillian

 * Nominated by: SavageBob 12:14, 10 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: One of the more recent original trilogy species to have been given a backstory. I'm proud to say that this is the most comprehensive article on the species available anywhere.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 16:31, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nice to see a new FA nominator. A couple of things:
 * 2) *"Their facial furrows changed with their emotions, deepening, for example." Is there something missing here? Is it "deepening, for example, with anger" or something?
 * 3) *I think it would be appropriate to mention some of the colonies established by the Luts in their history section, not just in the LitG section. And include some info about their efforts on Mijos etc.
 * 4) *You may also want to include a subsection such as this Lepus_Carnivorus... or if you think of a more elegant way of including that info...
 * 5) *I tracked down another appear in Mara Jade: By the Emperor's Hand 2. You should add a little bit on that, and may like to include this image.
 * 6) *Finally, you also have the option of using the Jedi Knights Trading Card Game image of Solomahal if you so desire. I added the full link into the sources section. --Eyrezer 01:15, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the critique and suggestions. I'll respond item by item.
 * The thing about the facial furrows comes from Secrets of the Jedi when Solomahal is first introduced. It's obvious that he's feeling some emotion, but there's no indication of what it is. It's probably pride or excitement, but it would be speculation on my part to assume this, so I decided to play it safe. Do you have any idea how it might be better worded?
 * Good point. I'll add some mention of their spread to these worlds in the "History" section as well.
 * I'm unaware of any source that provides a list of common Lutrillian names. Geonosis and the Outer Rim Worlds gives a list of example names, but it doesn't say that they're common. (I've noticed this problem with many Wookieepedia alien articles; they assume that the Ultimate Alien Anthology lists of example names are common names, something completely different.)
 * Good find. I've included the image and added a note about the fact that the Lutrillian child has only three fingers!
 * That's a good pic. I'll consider it. I like the fact that the infobox picture is facing inward toward the text, but it's possible that image could be used somewhere else.
 * Please let me know if there are any other concerns. SavageBob 12:29, 14 November 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * This is not an objection per se, but do you think some of the image captions could be shortened? --Eyrezer 16:31, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Raskta Lsu

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Quite the definition of a "ride-or-die" chick.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments
 * I'm down for whatever needs to be done. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)

Niai Fieso

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 23:43, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Shocking developments! A WTS nom!

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Eyrezer 16:49, 17 November 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Yoxgit

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 02:30, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "You're not an assassin." "Look again."

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Oppose

Comments