Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) * The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) **Rearranged with info included in bio if possible, to avoid missing anything important. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * "intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 31) **I used synonyms; he's described as: (a being of) devious cunning (=Shrewd), (with) intellectual stealth (=Intelligent + cultured + stealthy), and his RPG stats show him as a cultured person.
 * 32) ***Okay for everything except stealthy. Right now you make it sound like he was good at sneaking around, which is not what "intellectual stealth" means. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****'Stealthy' gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:31, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 35) **Not changed: OS says it as an unconfirmed rumor. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * "and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 37) **Changed, but OS does not specify. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 39) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 41) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * "This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 43) **Removed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) ***"This gave him several satisfactions." What do you mean? What satisfactions does this give him? It was more of the "satisfaction" that was awkwardly worded/confusing then the Navy's offer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *****Yes, but the wording is still rather awkward. I would suggest using something other than "satisfactions;" also, does the source say "unexpected?" If not, it is OR and even somewhat POVish. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ******Anything approaching OR or POV removed, including "satisfaction". Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *******Now you've just contradicted yourself. Saying "deference was essential to his professional activities" is the opposite of what you just said: that he had no need to treat the people he dealt with with respect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:29, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ********Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 20:11, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) * Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 51) **(...) have left the crime lord more than a little paranoid. Not changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) * "Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 53) **Stability. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ***It's not very clear what you mean by "stability". Stability of growth? Of living? Monetary stability? etc. Please clarify. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:10, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) ****Try now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:10, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 57) **Sentence changed; keep bc it tells about Saadoon's mid-term goals. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 59) **Added one date. OS is probably murky on purpose to give freedom to RPG gamemasters. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:37, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 61) **Not changed: OS compares them with the Star Dragons. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:14, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) The Grand Master III
 * 64) * Could you use something less colloquial than "up-and-comer"?
 * 65) **Done.
 * 66) * "increasing the Kadri'Ra's influence and range." Increasing his range in what?
 * 67) **Better?
 * 68) * "hired all the staff he could need, including smugglers;" First off, this doesn't fit in grammatically where you currently have it. Second, does the source say he hired "all the staff he could need?" It sounds rather hyperbolic to me.
 * 69) **Better?
 * 70) * "Saadoon-Kauldi became a prominent crime lord and reduced his public appearances." What exactly do you mean by public appearances?
 * 71) **Better?
 * 72) * "A chance to change airs" What exactly do you mean "change airs?"
 * 73) **Better?
 * 74) ***A chance to move where? This doesn't make sense. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) ****Better?--Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:32, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) *****I'll strike for now, but this is really an unnecessarily lenthy heading. Try to keep it simple and accurate pertaining to the info in the section. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:07, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * "The Empire also began to actively attempt to enslave Saadoon-Kauldi again." When did they enslave him the first time?
 * 78) **Kauldi had been a slave, but OS doesn't specify whether an Imperial slave or not. Reworded to convey that meaning. Better?
 * 79) * "began asking the Kadri'Ra for advice in his venture to expand criminal influence outside Socorro." Who does "his" refer to? Saadoon-Kauldi or Abdi-Badawzi? Also, is Abdi-Badawzi related to the Badawzis that freed Saadoon-Kauldi?
 * 80) **Changed.
 * 81) * "and discovered the Kadri'Ra's worries." What worries specifically? Why is it important that he discovered them? Did he do anything about them?
 * 82) **Better?
 * 83) * "Saadoon-Kauldi then allied with Abdi-Badawzi" You mean he hadn't already? The previous paragraph concerning them made it sound like he had: "Abdi-Badawzi added Saadoon-Kauldi to his contact network."
 * 84) **Better?
 * 85) * "Abdi-Badawzi had sent Swain to sell Saadoon-Kauldi the ship precisely for that reason: The Twi'lek wanted an important, nearby ally supporting him, because he would then obtain greater influence and could expand the borders of his criminal empire to areas where Saadoon-Kauldi could protect him." Please mention this earlier, when you introduce Swain and the ship to begin with.
 * 86) **Better?
 * 87) ***Okay, but we're still missing out on the reason Abdi-Badawzi sent Swain to sell Kauldi the ship&mdash;that he wanted Kauldi nearby. Please reorder so that this is clear. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:31, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) ****Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:32, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * Is there an article for the Socorran Navy? If not, please create and link.
 * 90) **Done.
 * 91) * "As Saadoon-Kauldi became a public figure in the Socorran system, several rumors about him appeared. People said that Saadoon-Kauldi had been kidnapped from Arapia and transported as a slave, something that made him sympathetic to Socorran eyes. There were similar rumors about Abdi-Badawzi." This seems rather out of place. Also, why is it important that such rumors were formed about Abdi-Badawzi? And (in-universe) "people" typically refers humans; unless you only mean to refer to humans, please use something like "beings" or "inhabitants of Socorro"
 * 92) **Importance: Added sentence to mention that Socorrans knew him. Abdi rumors: Rmvd. People: Changed by locals.
 * 93) * Why is there so much information on Ethra Brewery in the 4th paragraph of the "Life in Socorro" section? How is this information relevant to Saadoon-Kauldi's article?
 * 94) **Rmvd.
 * 95) * "When talking to others, Saadoon-Kauldi used his native Kadri'Ra language and required a translator, commonly his indentured servant Guzald." This is very randomly placed, and does not follow the previous sentence or even the section in which it is placed at all. Why not just put this in the P&T?
 * 96) **Rmvd, as it's already in P&T
 * 97) * Random placement for this paragraph as well; it simply does not follow the previous paragraphs: "Saadoon-Kauldi was respected among criminals, and sometimes admired as if he were a King. The Hutts, who were as long-lived as the Kadri'Ra, were known to have good opinion of Saadoon-Kauldi. Saadoon-Kauldi had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies."
 * 98) **Moved to P&T. Better?
 * 99) * Could the last section of the bio be broken up into two sections perhaps? It is far longer than any of the previous sections.
 * 100) **Better?
 * 101) * "Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali, enter some cave and vanish from public view." How is this relevant?
 * 102) **Rmvd.
 * 103) * "nineteen-year-old promise of piracy" What do you mean "promise of piracy?"
 * 104) **Changed.
 * 105) * Final paragraph of the bio: "unfortunately" is POV.
 * 106) **Rmvd.
 * 107) * "The Black Bha'lir jumped to help these people, as they were members of the Bha'lir." "Jumped" is colloquial.
 * 108) **Changed.
 * 109) *Will continue with the P&T once these are taken care of. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:19, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) **Have a look. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:49, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) The Grand Master Continues
 * 112) * "Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said to?" We're not interested in what others "said." Did he or didn't he?
 * 113) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) * "Many Corellian smugglers living in Socorro wanted to work for him." Any reason why?
 * 115) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) * Why do you wait until the P&T to say that he was Force-sensitive? Also, was he aware of this? Is there any particular reason he was untrained? i.e. did he not desire to be trained? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:07, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) **Not changed: OS only mentions his F-sensitiveness in RPG stats, not specifying whether he was aware of it or not. Anything beyond untrained F-sensitive would be OR. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) ***Okay, but if it just says that he was Force-sensitive, wouldn't adding that he was untrained also be OR? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 119) ****No, but added a footnote explaining it. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:50, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) * Why did you add "once" here? "He had low technical abilities and was a sub-par pilot.once." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:58, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) **Uh? How did it get there? Gone. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:27, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 122) * What is Saadoon-Kauldi (organization)? Is this meant to be the same thing as Saadoon-Kauldi's criminal empire? if not, please link it at appropriate places in the article. If it is, then please check the title (is the organization really also called "Saadoon-Kauldi?") and merge the articles and CSD one of them.
 * 123) **The text consistently says "Saadoon-Kauldi's criminal empire"; S-K is the person. I say, delete Saadoon-Kauldi (organization) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 124) ***Please make sure all information is merged; the organization page currently says that its criminal dealings included loansharking and credit laundering, which you do not mention in the criminal empire page or on Saadoon-Kauldi's page. Please verify this, and if it is true, please add it to those two pages. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) ****Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:21, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 126) * The intro is missing plenty of important info from the bio (i.e. barely any mention of his alliance with Abdi-Badawzi, which receives prominent mentions throughout the bio, nor any mention of his support of the Rebel Alliance, etc.) Please make certain that all appropriate topics are covered in the intro
 * 127) **Better?
 * 128) ***Actually, that's a bit too much. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 129) ****Lol! Let's try. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) *****This is more reasonably sized, but you still leave out plenty of information that is dominant in the bio. i.e. you don't mention the Merkel, you give no indication as to why he moved to the Socorro system, nor do you give any mention of Paulsen and co, who dominate the whole two final paragraphs of the bio; etc. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:50, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 131) ******Merkel, explicitly checked. Reasons to move to Socorro, already present. Mentions to Paulsen and other allies, checked. Intro not excessively long overall, checked. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) *******A couple things; first, by reasons to move to Socorro, I meant that it was mainly because of Abdi-Badawzi (again, this receives prominent attention in the bio, but no mention in the intro); second, in the intro, you say that Saadoon-Kauldi offered to lodge Paulsen and his allies, whereas in the body you say he only offered to lodge Ross and and Ransom. Which is correct? Also, please create an article for Izzat, now that the redlink is in the intro. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:30, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 133) ********Abdi: Expanded. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:37, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) ********Who was lodged: Expanded. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:37, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 135) ********Izzat: Stubbed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:37, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) * "He believed his followers would remember that gesture." Is there any further significance to this? During my copy-edit, I considered adding: "&hellip;gesture and would thus show him more loyalty." or something similar; however, as I am unfamiliar with the material, I didn't, in case the source said otherwise. If the source confirms this or gives any reason why he cared that they would remember the gesture, please add something of the like.
 * 137) **Not significant enough. Rmvd. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 138) * "The Twi'lek then discovered that Saadoon-Kauldi was worried about the Empire's attempts against the Kadri'Ra's freedom and decided to take measures." Decided to take measures to do what?
 * 139) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 140) ***"hopefully gaining him as a friend." Did you mean "hoping to gain him as a friend?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 141) ****Yes, Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 142) * "other unwanted situations" "Unwanted" is possibly POV. Also, like what? What other types of situations?
 * 143) **Changed. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 144) * How was the Galactic Empire "directly responsible of the dwindling number of Kadri'Ra in Arapia?
 * 145) **OS doesn't say anything more on that. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 146) * In the first paragraph of the "Tensions with the Galactic Empire" section, you say that he joined the Rebel Alliance "around this time," with around this time referring to the previously-stated date of circa 10 BBY. However, the Alliance wasn't formed until 2 BBY. Please adjust the date accordingly (i.e. say something along the lines of "sometime after 2 BBY"). But remember to source this to a source that states when the Alliance was formed.
 * 147) **Added - but he still discovered the Imperial-caused holocaust in 10 BBY per Black Sands. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 148) * "pirate Drake Paulsen lost his father and mentor Kaine Paulsen" Do you mean Kaine Paulsen died? If so, please state so explicitly, and maybe even give a bit of context as to how he died.
 * 149) **Enough? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 150) ***Yes, but you've changed the meaninng. Now you say that Drake was murdered. Which is correct? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:52, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 151) ****Name shift! Shifted again. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 152) * How was Izzat "treacherous?"
 * 153) **OS doesn't specify, but rmvd. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:54, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 154) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:24, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 155) * In the intro you currently say that he moved to the Socorro system, and then became allied with Abdi-Badawzi, but this conflicts the chronology presented in the bio. Please check which is correct.
 * 156) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 157) *You have 3 conflicing statements. In the intro you say that the Empire was acting against the Kadri'Ra, and was trying to destroy the Kadri'Ra culture; in the bio you only say that they were responsible for the dwindling number of Kadri-Ra (you don't even imply whether the Empire is intending to be responsible for this or not); and in the P/T you say the Empire was specifically trying to wipe out the Kadri'Ra language.
 * 158) **Changed: Both intro and bio mention Empire against culture and after Arapia holocaust. P/T does not mention the later, because it is not relevant in that section, I think. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 159) ***"Discreting" isn't a word. Also, now you say that they promoted the holocaust of the Kadri'Ra, which changes the meaning of what you had previously stated. Before, you said that they were responsible for it, but nothing more was specified, now what you say implies that the Empire actually sponsored some other faction to eradicate the Kadri'Ra. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:55, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 160) ****"Discreting" typo fixed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 161) ****The Empire "sponsoring a holocaust" and "promoted the decimation"; used as synonyms as per Thesaurus. Empire is "responsible of several activities against the K'R", including sponsoring their holocaust and actively discrediting their culture. I think the current text is consistent in that. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 162) *****Yes they're synonyms, but that doesn't mean they can always be used interchangeably. To say that they "sponsored a holocaust" means that they supplied funds or otherwise endorsed the eradication of the Kadri'Ra, but did not actually directly eradicate the species themselves. To say that they "promoted the decimation" of the Kadri'Ra means that the Empire in some way&mdash;either by funds, propaganda, using their own military forces, or in any other possible way&mdash;advocated the destruction of the Kadri'Ra. And you've already said in response to an earlier objection that the source gives no more information on how the Empire opposed the Kadri'Ra, so to say specifically that they "sponsored it" would be OR. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:33, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 163) ******In my previous response I meant beyond that. OS p88: "[Kauldi] deeply grieves the holocaust sponsored by the Empire that is consuming his species", but nothing more. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:34, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 164) *******Then you were incorrect in response to my objection, which asked for any more information on their opposition of the Kadri'Ra: you said the OS gave no further information. Please be more careful in your responses in the future. Either way, I still don't see how this indicates that the Empire was specifically targeting the Kadri'Ra culture as well. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:32, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 165) ********References to "culture" removed; Empire only goes after language after "The language of the Kadri'Ra has been long forgotten as the 'indigent dialect of an intellectually inferior species' (at least according to the Imperials writing the textbooks).". --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:40, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 166) * In the intro you call Saylor Marjan a "local criminal," but this is unspecified in the bio. Remember, there should be nothing in the intro that is not covered in the article body.
 * 167) **No longer applies. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 168) * Why does Marjan in particular receive mention in the intro? Is he really that important? In the bio, he seems no more important than Ancher or Oxsor.
 * 169) **Marjan removed from intro. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 170) * "but several other underworld factions did the same, including Abdi-Badawzi, Jabba Desilijic Tiure's criminal empire, and Black Sun." Here you name two factions and one being. Please try to be consistent. Was Abdi-Badawzi his own faction, by himself? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:07, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 171) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) * "Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) The Grand Master
 * 36) * Intro: context for Green Company.
 * 37) **Added.
 * 38) * Intro: "and retake the exonium mines." What exonium mines? You haven't mentioned anything about them so far.
 * 39) **Fixed.
 * 40) * Grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 41) **Fixed.
 * 42) ***Still seeing some issues; mainly just a lot of awkward wording of phrases. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:03, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Better? And I will take a good look at Flanker. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:42, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) *****Several still remain. And again, please fix these objections yourself. Relying on other users to clean up your articles means that they're the ones who are really promoting the article, not you; and it also means that you aren't learning from the objections, which is the whole point of making objections to begin with. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:25, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ******If one of twenty is not fixed by me, a other user promotes this article. Dubious. How many errors are there and where?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:11, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *******The point is that grammar is a consistent problem with your noms and you need to learn to fix it yourself, because the GAN is largely about how the article is written. If an article contains poor grammar, it can often come across as incoherent and very difficult to review, because, due to improper grammar, what you're trying to say is often ambiguous. If you leave it to another user to fix this particular objection and don't even try to do so yourself, then you are not the one who is actually writing the article; the other user is. Avoiding grammar issues&mdash;along with avoiding awkward/poor wording&mdash;are basic English skills which are expected of the nominator. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:31, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) ********Changed two or three. I also found two I'm rather unsure about.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:53, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *********The two changes you made are better; a couple of very minor things remain, but I'll strike for now and give the article another rerview soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:58, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) * "The Republic forces—along with some of the Rishii warriors—then arrived and attacked the mines, forcing the remaining Geonosians to flee." So Fisto and Green Company aren't Republic forces?
 * 50) **Fixed.
 * 51) * "a retreat was ordered by the arriving Jedi Master Kit Fisto." "Arriving" is rather confusing here.
 * 52) **Fixed.
 * 53) ***This remains in the bio. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:59, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * Lots of wording of phrases in the intro and the body is exactly the same. Please change it up a bit.
 * 56) **Changed several.
 * 57) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) **Thank you for your review Jon. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 21:30, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) The Grand Master II
 * 60) * "Adverse" doesn't really work well in the intro; please find a synonym.
 * 61) **Replaced with "vis-a-vis".
 * 62) * "Fisto revealed his plan to Cooker, which involved Cooker aiming at his shoulder and firing continuously." Does "his shoulder" refer to Cooker's shoulder or Fisto's?
 * 63) **Clarified.
 * 64) * The last couple sentences in the intro are confusing; first you say all the Geonosians had been killed, then you say the Republic forces arrived to attack the remaining Geonosian forces. Please specify that that some Geonosians were located in the canyon and others were in the mines.
 * 65) **Fixed.
 * 66) ***Please specify this beforehand. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:54, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ****Fixed.
 * 68) *****All you've done is specify it for the previous attack. Please specify that, for Fisto and Cooker's attack, some were in the canyon and some were not. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) ******Better?
 * 70) *******Grammar and over-all coherency issues here. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:31, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) ********Fixed.
 * 72) *********This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:14, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) **********Fixed.
 * 74) * Seeing some linking issues.
 * 75) **Fixed.
 * 76) * Link for the Geonosians' original invasion to capture the exonium mines? This and the Battle of Rishi article treat this invasion as a separate battle.
 * 77) **Linked and created.
 * 78) ***Redlink in the intro. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:54, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) ****Fixed.
 * 80) *"Cooker told the Jedi Master that he couldn't help him, because he had no line-of-sight with the enemy from his position." What was his position? You haven't specified it yet.
 * 81) **Fixed.
 * 82) ***Okay, but now I'm confused as to where the enemy is. I thought you stated in the intro that the Geonosians were in the canyon that led to the entrance, but if Cooker was directly across from the entrance and couldn't see the droids, how is this possible? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:54, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) ****The Genosian forces where in the canyon, so that he couldn't see them.
 * 84) *****But if he was right across from the canyon how could he not see the Geonosians in the canyon? If he couldn't see in the canyon, perhaps this is not the right wording here; please check your meaning. Also, in the bio picture caption, you say he was above the canyon. Which is correrct? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) ******Clarified.
 * 86) ******* Also, on the picture, it appears he is on some sort of ledge. Perhaps mentioning this would be advantageous. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ********Added.
 * 88) *********Just to clarify, the previous objection remains. Please adjust wording so this is more clear. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:14, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) **********Clarified.
 * 90) ***********I'm seeing no changes. Please specify how, if he was directly across from the canyon, he could not see the canyon. Again, I suspect you have used wording that means something you did not intend to mean here. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:41, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ************He could see the canyon but he couldn't see the Geos. I don't really understand your problem.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:11, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 92) *************I understand that. What I'm asking you to specify is why he couldn't see them. Because otherwise it's confusing to the reader how he could see the canyon, and the Geonosians were in the canyon, but he couldn't see them. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **************Added that the enemy was "well-entranched". Hope this helps.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:29, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) * The first three sentences of the third paragraph in the bio are worded poorly/awkwardly. Again, normally a "sofixit", but you need to learn to do this yourself.
 * 95) **Fixed.
 * 96) ***The third sentence is still awkward. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) ****Better?
 * 98) *****Well, it's less choppy, but why do you wait so long to say it? Why not mention that fact sooner? Right now it sounds like an after-thought. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) ******Fixed.
 * 100) *******Grammar. Lee, this problem is getting very old. After almost every objection you fix, there are grammar issues created by your rearranging of phrasing. Please be more careful. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:14, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) ********Better ?
 * 102) * Why don't you mention how Cooker saved Fisto in the intro?
 * 103) **The intro would not be proportional to the bio (Xd's objection).
 * 104) ***That doesn't matter, because this is vital information; use synonyms and alternate phrasing to make it shorter and to shorten other things in the intro, but never leave out important information. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:54, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ****Fixed.
 * 106) *****Grammar/poor phrasing. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) ******Better?
 * 108) *******It's a bit of a run-on now. Also, why did you remove the link? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) ********Fixed.
 * 110) * First sentence of the P/T: did he like to watch the power cells burn, or the droids themselves?
 * 111) **Fixed.
 * 112) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:06, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 113) **Thank you for your review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:50, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) *How do we know that Cooker was "loyal and obedient?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) **He obeyed Fisto's orders.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:30, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) ***So we know he obeyed orders once (something which was expected of him). This in no way means he was particularly obedient (after all, he did question Fisto's orders at first) and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with loyalty. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) ****He obeyed all orders from Fisto and was loyal enough to save his General. And if he obeys order he is obedient.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:01, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) *****This remains. Unless the source says that he was particularly loyal or obedient, this is a pretty baseless claim. You can pretty much say that every being ever created for the Star Wars universe is "obedient" because of that one time they followed orders. And to say that because 2242 helped Fisto he is "loyal" is completely POV and even OR. Please avoid using such generic statements as fillers in the P/Ts of articles. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:14, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 119) ******I changed it to "loyal and obedient like a clone trooper should be".  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:15, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) *******First off, this does not in any way fix the original objection. Second, does the source state that that's how a clone trooper should act? If not, then that is also OR. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:41, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) ********I sourced it with the databank. If you still insist on removing the loyal and obedient part, I'll remove it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:11, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 122) *********Again, this does not fix the objection. I repeat: You can pretty much say that every being ever created for the Star Wars universe is "obedient" because of that one time they followed orders. It's a pretty baseless and generic claim that shouldn't be used as a filler in the P&T. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 123) **********Removed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:29, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified clone stormtrooper

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(1 ACs/4 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:27, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) * Per Tope. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:42, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) **Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:47, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) -- 1358  (Talk) 17:57, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:52, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm striking my vote for now. Naru's most recent additions have completely reshaped the face of this article, such that it no longer even remotely resembles the version I once reviewed and voted for. This would require a whole new copy-edit for me to be satisfied with the new changes. Plus, I'm very skeptical of some of the information that has been added. I'll leave this circus for CC to take charge of, if he would be so willing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:38, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:49, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:33, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a documentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *****I'll strike this for now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 31) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 32) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ******You haven't added anything about his status as a clone stormtrooper. (And the infobox still reads "commander") NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:20, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) *******Changed that in the infobox, but we have no source that he became a stormtrooper. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ********The fact that he is a clone trooper who transerred into the Empire army means he is a clone stormtrooper per works such as Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader or even, I believe, Star Wars: Battlefront II.
 * 38) *********Well, but we cannot be sure. If you don't insist on it to 100 percent I wouldn't add it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **********The Grand Army of the Republic no longer exists at this point, and the clone trooper classification went with it. There are only stormtroopers after about the first few days of the Empire, and SW:P happens well after that threshold, so we can be 100% sure he's a stormtrooper. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:13, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) ***********Included it in the bio.
 * 41) ************You can't just include a sentance that the troopers became stormtroopers and call this one good. You have a fully sourcable rank compared to the (previously acceptable) assumption that he was a clone trooper officer. This needs to be fully integrated into the article. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *************It put the info about the stomrtrooper in the bio. Hope this satifys his objection. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:14, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **************The article still primarily refers to him as a "clone officer," the latter half of which you cannot cite. 1) All mentyion of the word "officer" should be scrubbed out. (See below) 2) Mentions of him in the intro (While mentioning he was part of the GAotR), bio (After the first paragraph), P&T, and Bts should say that he was a stormtrooper or simply a "clone." You can cite that he changed ranks to the quote I left you on your talk page. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:54, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) **************'Naru he is a officer, so I don't understand this objection. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:21, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ***************I can only judge from the images in this article, but I would say we have enough to go on just by visual analysis to tab him as an officer. Is he not leading this squad in the comic? Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) ****************He's basing it on the color and style of the armor already, but you can't really do that with Phase II armor because it is so customizable, and officers sometimes even allowed their subbordinates to wear that style of armor as a sign of respect. Its not like phase I, or any other army, where you can automatically tell what rank he is by his colors, look, insignia, etc. This clone is not a clone trooper anymore after Palpy gave the Declaration of a New Order, he's a clone stormtrooper, which is a completely different animal. Therefore, after the Declarationis mentioned in the article, should not he be refered to by his new title, and in the Page Name as well? Also, just because he lead the squad doesn't mean he was an officer when he was in the GAotR or in the Stormy Corps., it (can) just mean he led his squad that day, or was designated squadleader, or some other option but it doesn't automatically make him of command authority or an officer at all. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *****************I just found a source which says he was a clone commander during the Clone Wars: here. I found it while looking for a source for something in the Tsui Choi article. Replace occurences of "officer" before the declaration with commander in the bio, but change the "officer"s after that to clone stormtrooper. Mention he was a commander the GAR in the intro and the P&T if you decide to talk about his servce in the GAR there as well. Part 2 of my objection still stands. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:23, March 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ******************Sorry Naru, I don't see any info on this page. If you add it yourself, someone can check it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:27, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *******************I hate linking to webpages, this always happens. >:( It'll work now. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 20:32, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ********************Fixed, but there is a sourcing error now. And I still believe that his commander rank is the right for his Empire time.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *********************I fixed the sourcing error. You used "ref name=" and put a "ref/" at the end by mistake. Would you like me to just fix this one myself so I can vote for this article? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:09, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) **********************I would possible be the bset if you fix it. You know best what you want to change and I've got some problems to understand you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:35, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ***********************There. This... Nebulaxian discussion is over. (Unless there's something you truly find ojectionable about what I did, of course, but I didn't do anything I didn't ask of you).
 * 54) *Now you need to add that Hasbro.com link to the External links and use the link in your referencing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:39, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) **If citing external links is beyond your abilities, please ask and I'm sure someone would be willing to assist you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:47, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ***I refuse to contribute to the Nebulaxian ******************* conversation, so I'll post here. The external link reference should properly use the citeweb citation. You may consider this an official objection as well. And it would help if we let Lee do this himself rather than fixing everything for him so that he learns how it's done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:19, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:35, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) *****No, it's not fixed. And please don't me it is until you've completed what I've asked at least four times now on here and under your post on Master Jonathan's talk page. The citeweb template should be used to cite the external link, which it is not. Since you clearly haven't the slightest idea how this is done, MJ was kind enough to leave instructions on his talk page. Please follow them. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:31, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ******First, there is no need to be rude. I fixed with the help of the citeweb page and MJ's talk page and I asked him if it is now correct.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:39, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) *******If it's rudeness, I apologize, but so be it. Because I know I'm not the only one who is becoming exasperated with how things needs to be explained to you a half-dozen times before you finally get it right on the page, while meanwhile you tell us that what you have is fixed when it's not. This happens on every single one of your nominations, which includes your questionable grasp of the English language. I don't fault you for that, but you must begin to understand, as we've explained to you dozens of times by now, that we aren't English language instructors. You're rapidly reaching the point where the AC is not going to overhaul your nomination for you for grammatical errors any more. So please be forewarned. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) *******Now on to further objections. Considering the obscurity of this Hasbro.com information, some sort of BTS note should be left explaining the origin of his "commander" rank. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ********Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:38, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 64) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 65) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) * Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **Added.
 * 70) The Grand Master
 * 71) * The intro is a little long for the article's size; could it be cut down a little?
 * 72) **Shortened.
 * 73) * Could you mention sooner in the bio that this officer served under Choi during the Clone Wars?
 * 74) **Better?
 * 75) * What do you mean "a blind alley?" How was the alley "blind?"
 * 76) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 77) ***So you're saying it's a dead end? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) ****Yes.
 * 79) * I fail to see how the fact that this officer trailed Choi makes him loyal.
 * 80) **Well he was loyal to the Empire by executing Order 66.
 * 81) ***Yes, but you just say "as a loyal clone trooper," implying he was loyal in general. And he is just as much a traitor to Choi as he is loyal to the Empire. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 82) ****Changed to loyal to the Empire.
 * 83) * "Although a trained soldier, he was unable to defend himself when he was attacked from behind by the Jedi Master, an event which resulted in his death." This isn't very clear: how was he unable to defend himself; did he even get a chance to defend himself? Also, does this really belong in the P&T?
 * 84) **Better?
 * 85) ***Okay, but then what does this have to do with him being a trained soldier? If he didn't get a chance to defend himself, then he would've died no matter what, and it doesn't matter that he was a trained soldier. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:11, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) ****Corrected.
 * 87) *****Okay, but I'll repeat: does this really belong in the P&T? What does this have to do with his personality? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) ******Well, several clones managed to kill their Jedi officer and he could not due to faster reactions of Choi. I removed it.
 * 89) *As a note: please watch your linking in the future, as well as your grammar. And remember not to link anything in quotes or images unless they do not appear in the article's body itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:00, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 90) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:51, March 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) *Eh and what would you say about Narus last objection. Is he a stormtrooper or not ?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 92) ** Per precedent, I would say yes, he became a stormtrooper. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) ***Included it in the bio. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:34, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) Toprawa:
 * 95) * I'm not sure I see enough to warrant making the following assertion: "Like all clone troopers, the clone officer was born on the Wild Space planet Kamino as a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett." The reference you use for this statement, the Databank, says only the following: "each of the first generations of clone trooper was grown in the cloning facilities of Tipoca City, on the storm-drenched world of Kamino." How do we know this clone qualifies as being among the "first generations" of clone troopers? Figuring this clone doesn't make his first canonical appearance until the very end of the war, could he not just as easily been grown at a different location? Perhaps CC or someone can also weigh in on this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) **CC is not available for Wookiepedia so far. Possible it would be best to removed Kamino as his homeworld in the infobox and change the first Bio sentence to: Like all clone troopers, the clone officer was a clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett. ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:45, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) ***Well, assuming you can say that in normal, grammatically-correct English, yes, go for it. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:05, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 98) ****Changed.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:14, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) Please fix the article to reflect his stormtrooper rank. Also, the fact that he's a clone commander is unverified information and fanon at this point.  CC7567  (talk) 23:59, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 100) *I found a source for his commander rank. After that he's a stormie. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:19, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) Round II
 * 102) * Grammar problem in the intro. Again, normally a, but these issues are so often prominent in your noms, you need to take the time to learn to fix it yourself.
 * 103) **Fixed.
 * 104) ***This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:14, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ****Once again, if I see grammar problem I am focused on tense. Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:17, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 106) *****You're in the right place now, but grammar problems remain. Also, why did you remove all that information? Now you have nothing on his transition into a stormtrooper. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:20, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) ******Added the info. Grammar problem fixed ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:28, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) *******Grammar issues remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:56, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) ********Please try it now.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:02, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) *********Better; the last sentence of the intro is still worded poorly. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:40, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) **********Clarified.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:03, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 112) * Also seeing linking issues. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:57, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 113) **Fixed in the intro. Also in the bio ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:07, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 114) ***Stupid question. Checked and fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:08, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) * "A page on Hasbro.com later confirmed that the leading stormtrooper in the comic was a clone commander." Could you provide a link for this page? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:36, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) **Eh, it is in the external links section.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:38, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) ***Oops. Over-looked that; my bad. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:44, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) "There, Choi ambushed the stormtrooper, as well as the three other clones accompanying him and quickly killed the stormtrooper's companions before beheading him." I wanted to point out this out to you, Lee. Is he the only "stormtrooper" and the rest are "clones"? Or are they all stormtroopers? Please be consistent.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:13, April 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 119) *Clarified.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:03, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) **It still sounds like he is the only stormtrooper in that group. In the previous sentence, you just say "troopers," and it follows through to the next sentence.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:04, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) ***Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:15, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * To get my two cents in, per Palpatine's declaration, "The clone troopers, now proudly bearing the honorable rank of Imperial stormtroopers," I'd say that it's safe to assume that the guy is a stormtrooper.  CC7567  (talk) 23:59, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * Jon and Toprawa, if you have anything to object at the current state of the article I will change it so that you will be satisfied.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:27, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * Toprawa, just if you have missed it, your objection is fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:47, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Flanker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:42, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 257 words. Hope he stays over 250 words during the nom. Should be clean of all my earlier errors

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 19, 2010 (UTC) Insert non-formatted text here

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro should be proportional to to bio.
 * 3) **It is not. Should it be longer or shorter.
 * 4) ***It is fine now. Before, it was only one, long sentence.
 * 5) * Fact tag in the infobox.
 * 6) **Sourced.
 * 7) * "Flanker along with hatchmate Shiv did some desert training around 22 BBY and Shiv enjoyed it writing letters at Flanker, even after Flanker’s death in the Battle of Christophsis." Awkwardly phrased. Please watch your grammar. Also, context on "desert training".
 * 8) **Reworded, but we have no context on the training.
 * 9) ***Still remains.
 * 10) ****See above.
 * 11) * "Flanker, along with his hatchmate Shiv, did desert training and Flanker joked that one of them would get shipped to a water planet after this." After what? Also, please add context to "desert training".
 * 12) **See above.
 * 13) ***I still don't quite understand what desert training is. Are you sure you cannot add any context to clarify this?
 * 14) ****No we have no info.
 * 15) * "Shiv enjoyed writing letters to Flanker, although Flanker wasn’t much for it." "Wasn't much for it"? Please clarify.
 * 16) **Better?
 * 17) * "Flanker was killed during the battle, which resulted in a Republic victory," This makes it sound like that the Republic won, because of Flanker's death.
 * 18) **Changed.
 * 19) * Please clarify this: "but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker - because that relaxed him – until he was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, which was – ironically – an ice planet." Does Shiv know Flanker is dead? Also, please watch your grammar. Why are you using ndashes or "-"?
 * 20) **I corrected this.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:56, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper he died on Christophsis." How is this relevant to the P&T?
 * 22) **Changed.
 * 23) * "Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training." "He wasn't much for Shiv's letter?" Reword.
 * 24) **Adressed.
 * 25) * I don't understand why you mentioned the illustrators names in the bts.
 * 26) **Removed.
 * 27) * JangFett  (Talk) 20:38, March 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) War is hell, and Skippy is objecting
 * 30) * although Flanker wasn’t much for it. You are using exactly the same expression Shiv used in a quote of the article. Can you replace it with a synoym?
 * 31) **Changed.
 * 32) * Suggestion: A new paragraph just after that sentence.
 * 33) **Done.
 * 34) * "ironically": NPOV?
 * 35) **Removed.
 * 36) * Flanker wasn’t much for Shiv’s letter, but had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. Why "but"? Is there any relation between not being much for letters and having a sense of humor?
 * 37) **Adressed.
 * 38) * Maybe you should mention that Shiv talked about Flanker with commander Mag?
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Link Mag somewhere, even if it is in a quote.
 * 41) **Linked.
 * 42) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:19, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Thanks for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:36, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * One more: Do you think this article can use a youmay tag to differentiate it from the planet Flankers? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:02, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Added. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) Issues with grammar. This problem is getting old. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:43, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Still seeing some errors. Also, I urge you to fix these problems yourself Lee, rather than having other users fix them for you. Otherwise, you're not really the one promoting the article to GA status&mdash;the other users are. That's the whole point of making objections; so that the nominator can fix things himself and learn from the process, thereby avoiding making the same mistakes in the future and having the nominator's quality of writing go up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:50, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***I believe, that I corrected three or four. Are there still any in it and if how many ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:06, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****First off, you only made two changes; second, you actually made both worse&mdash;both of the places you made changes were grammatically fine before, but now they are incorrect. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:30, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) *****Corrected them back. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) ******Okay, but just to clarify, several issues still remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) *******Any improvement ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:59, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ********Some; and you got the one mentioned above; but others remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:39, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) *********Changed two. Still major errors ? Possible I should reword this sentences: ''When Confederate forces attacked the Outer Rim planet of Christophsis, Flanker was part of the troops that were sent to defend the world. Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv continued writing letters to Flanker, since it relaxed him.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:45, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **********Second change was unneeded; the sentences you list above are fine as is. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:00, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) **********Just to make sure you're aware, this objection is still standing. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 02:34, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) ***********Hope the changes for the latter objections eliminated them.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:47, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) ************This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:59, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * "Although Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis." This has nothing to do with Flanker's personality; please remove.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:23, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) **Removed, but I think that nom should be removed (or is he still over 250 words?. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ***The article is currently at 249 words. I suggest fixing the grammar issues, and seeing where the word count is then. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:30, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Better or worse ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *****Worse, unfortunately. Again, the grammar you have changed was fine before, but is incorrect now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:00, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ******I wonder what could still be incorrect. I changed most of the article form good to worse and back.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *******Firstly, you changed two things; not "most of the article." Second, in both places where you changed things, the wording was previously fine. One particularly glaring example of a problem is: "Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv continued writing letters at Flanker, since it relaxed him." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:17, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ********Bah, I juts looked at tense not at other things. But the error from above is nowhere in the article. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) *********Yes it is. Bio, second paragraph, second sentence. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:14, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) **********Fixed. Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:36, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * Please write the final sentence of the BTS more from Flanker's perspective, rather than Shiv's. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:00, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) **Changed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ****Facepalm* Sorry, I meant "intro;" dunno why I typed "BTS." Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:42, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 74) *****This remains; you mention Flanker's death almost as an afterthought. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:47, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) ******Fixed and I can't find major errors.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) * As stated below: you can't say whether or not Shiv started writing letters before or after Flanker's death because it is unknown which he did. As such, please adjust your wording in the article so that it doesn't imply either way. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:59, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) **Changed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:10, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) Cylka:
 * 79) * There are still a few problems with grammar. I have found incorrect word and punctuation usage. Please fix this.
 * 80) **Any improvement ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:51, March 31, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Flanker didn't care much for Shiv’s letters that he wrote to him, and he had a sense of humor when he joked about their desert training. - The second part of this sentence needs to identify who had the sense of humor and who was joking.
 * 82) **Fixed.
 * 83) * While Flanker was a trained clone trooper, he was killed on Christophsis. - What does having been killed on Chritophsis have to do with being a trained clone trooper? Cylka  -talk- 19:38, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) **Fixed.
 * 85) *Cylka  -talk- 20:43, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) **Thank you for your review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:17, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) Soresu
 * 88) *Shiv enjoyed it writing. Not sure what "it" is for.
 * 89) **Changed.
 * 90) *one of the many clones from the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett. Should be "of", not "from".
 * 91) **Stupid error. Fixed.
 * 92) *Do we actually know that Shiv started writing letters before Flanker's death, and continued to after his death? Is it possible that he started writing them only after he died? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:12, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **We only know it from Shivs quote in the bio. Thank you for your review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:58, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) ***If I may intervene here; Soresu's right. If all we know is from Shiv's quote in the bio, then we can't say for sure that he wrote letters to Flanker before Flanker's death. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ****Changed, but I believe he is now under 250 words.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:40, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) *****You can keep the fact that Flanker didn't like letters in the P/T. Right now it's at 232 words. You can either just request to remove the nom now or wait until you fix the other objections, in case the word count comes back up. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:47, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) Cylka, pt.2:
 * 98) *I still see two issues with grammar and punctuation. Please fix them. I know that this would fall under, but I would like you to improve your writing a bit more.
 * 99) **Rewrote something.
 * 100) *Flanker was killed during the battle, but Shiv began writing letters to Flanker - Did Shiv start writing the letters to him after he had been killed? In the P/T you wrote Flanker didn't care much about Shiv's letters. Please clear this up.
 * 101) **Please take a look at Jon's statement above.
 * 102) ***My above statement is: "If all we know is from Shiv's quote in the bio, then we can't say for sure that he wrote letters to Flanker before Flanker's death." That also means that we don't know that he started them after his death, either. The point is, you can't explicitly say either way, without it being speculation/OR. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 12:48, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) *However, Flanker's hatchmate was killed by Talz warriors on Orto Plutonia, shortly after Shiv had talked with his commander Mag about Flanker. - Do you mean that Shiv was killed? If so, please change the wording a bit since that isn't clear from this sentence.
 * 104) **Reworded and added some details.
 * 105) *I'll take another look once you take care of these objections. Cylka  -talk- 23:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 106) **Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:03, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lee, this, like all of your noms, has plenty of grammatical errors. Frankly, it's getting old. I'm not trying to rude, but this is not English class. Please, please, try to avoid making these errors.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:30, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll take a good look at both Flanker and 2242 today in order to fix the grammar problems.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:37, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * I'll hope the two grammar errors are finally fixed. (If not it would possible be the best to point them out. I know I can't learn them if another user fixed it, but if I see it I can fix it easier. And I learn nothing if I don't know them.)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:10, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Lens Reekeene

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Rebel General to be used as a NPC in a RPG Campaign, and part of my own mini-project. Currently 1200 words, probably I'll try for a FAN later.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Context on "Flankers"
 * 3) **Added; OS says little about that.
 * 4) * In the intro, you vaguely explained how he became a prison of the Empire, but in the bio, it's not even mentioned. "Sartran was disbanded by the Galactic Empire and the mercenaries employed by the company were imprisoned under false charges of conspiracy. While in prison," The jump from "being disbanded by the Empire" to being in prison is rough.
 * 5) **Better?
 * 6) * "While in prison, Lens met engineer Mikka Reekeene, also a former employee of Sartran. Lens and Mikka Reekeene got married in jail." This sounds like Mikka was also in prison for whatever reason. Was he an engineer in prison or a worker in that prison?
 * 7) **You are right. Better?
 * 8) * Try to add subsections within the bio. It will be more, concisely organized and well formatted.
 * 9) **Better?
 * 10) ***Much; also, is their any relevant quotes? If not, then it's fine.
 * 11) * If Lens was free in 11 BBY, how could she have joined the Rebellion? It wasn't established until 2 BBY.
 * 12) **Right. Typo in my notes, corrected: She was released in 3 BBY and soon after that (apparently some months), she joined the Rebellion.
 * 13) *More to come. Also, please watch your linking. I'll look through the article once more.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **More linking, and thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) The Grand Master
 * 16) * Seeing some grammar issues throughout the article. This is getting old.
 * 17) **Try. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:34, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Better, but still seeing several mistakes; a couple examples: "Circa 0 ABY, Reekeene also led the Roughnecks in "Operation Retribution," which simultaneously damaged assets of the Empire, while the Alliance suffered the minimum damage." "Also around this time, General Reekeene joined her husband, Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro onboard their mobile headquarters&hellip" (<--comma usage; this currently grammatically implies that Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro were Reekeene's husband.) Also, please see my note below on the linking; it applies here as well. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Might be better. I hope I could find every one. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:24, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****You only fixed the one example I left on your talk page. Some wording issues remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******General overwrite and complete copy-edit, even if those things rarely work. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Why is there a birth date given in the infobox but not in the intro and bio?
 * 23) **Added.
 * 24) * Why is there no dating of events in the intro?
 * 25) **Added.
 * 26) * "an Irregular group of Rebel soldiers." This makes it sound as if the soldiers themselves were irregular, i.e. they were strange beings. Please reword so that you actually say what an "Irregular" means in this case.
 * 27) **Changed.
 * 28) * Why is the quote given outside of any section? Currently, the section which you have the quote has no prose. Please move it.
 * 29) **Changed.
 * 30) * Does the OS say why Sartran was disbanded, or why the mercs were imprisoned under false charges?
 * 31) **Added.
 * 32) * "Later, Mikka Reekeene was released from jail, because of a management mistake." This grammatically says that it was a mistake for him to be released. Is that true?
 * 33) **Yes. Reworded.
 * 34) * "and her less political husband followed her." What exactly do you mean by "less political," and by "followed her" do you mean that he, too, joined the Alliance? This isn't very clear.
 * 35) **Changed.
 * 36) * 2nd paragraph of "origins" section needs to be reworded more to follow Lens' POV. The first couple sentences sound like the article's suddenly switched to one about Mikka.
 * 37) **Changed.
 * 38) * Page for the local moff? If there is none, please create and link.
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Page for Green Squad's mission to Abonshee?
 * 41) **Stubbed.
 * 42) ***Quick question&mdash;was the mission successful, or is this known? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * "None of the other officers objected anything to her." This doesn't make snese.
 * 45) **Removed.
 * 46) * Linking mistakes throughout. Please make sure not only that everything is linked, but also that everything is linked cleanly and properly.
 * 47) **I think I've found what you mean. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:27, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Still seeing some mistakes, inlcuding instances of underlinking. (Another hint for proper linking: refuelling is incorrect) Remember, when possible, please try to link things in the article if you can, as opposed to linking them in quotes; for instance, I'm sure you can work at least Alliance Intelligence and Godking into the article prose, even if you just pipelink. Also why do you have "limit of missions" linked to the page "23rd?" This makes absolutely no sense, especially sense you just got done saying that the limit of missions was 20. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ****Underlinking: Try.
 * 50) *****You have not added any links other than the ones that were in the quotes. This remains. Again&mdash;normally this would fall under "sofixit," but the fact of the matter is, this is a consistent problem with your noms; please take the time to correct it. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) ******Again. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:24, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) *******You've only fixed the two examples I left on your talk page. This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ********Two more: Commanding officer and Alliance recruitment agent. I can't see anything else missing. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Intel & Godking: Included in the prose.
 * 55) ****23rd: Survivors of 20 missions facing mandatory retirement were only a 23% of the agents, thus the nickname; article created but no change here.
 * 56) * "Fortunately, the Empire was outwitted." POV.
 * 57) **Removed.
 * 58) * "to reach a meeting with the Alliance commanding officers of the sector." What sector? Is this still the Fakir sector?
 * 59) **Yes. Added.
 * 60) * "keep them nervous" Keep who nervous? Also, lots of the wording in the P/T sounds like it may have been taken almost verbatim from the source. I am unfamiliar with the material, but please check and make sure you don't use the same words as the source.
 * 61) **Changed.
 * 62) ***What do you mean by making the Empire "feel unsure about the Roughnecks?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Sorry: Insecure, not unsure. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *****This still doesn't really make sense; how is she making the Empire "insecure?" Maybe something more along the lines of "she did her best to trouble/pester the Empire," or something of the sort? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ******Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *******Grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ********Now? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:35, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) * "tell others only what they needed to know." What others?
 * 69) **Changed.
 * 70) * Please check the format of the BTS quote. The source seems to be misformatted.
 * 71) **Changed.
 * 72) * "along with another Campaign" What other campaign? At least pipelink it.
 * 73) **Detailed.
 * 74) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:16, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) **Most done; still looking for the grammar part. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) One more for now: In the intro you say "Lens Reekeene was a female Human born in 54 BBY.", although it's the same in the first sentence of the bio. Mind rewording it?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:36, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) *Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) The Grand Master II
 * 79) *Nothing in the intro that isn't also in the body, please.
 * 80) *Very stiff, choppy prose throughout the article.
 * 81) *"The Reekeenes and Lazith'chika were the highest-ranking members of the Roughnecks. They briefed the squads and answered their questions. Once briefed for a mission, a member of the Roughnecks could not speak to anyone except the Reekeenes or Lazith'chika, as a security measure." This seems very randomly placed; it doesn't really follow or lead into the surrounding paragraphs.
 * 82) *In the "Operation Retribution" section, there are some inappropriate uses of "would be." Remember, this is a future-tense phrase, and should only be used when you are explaining the formation of a plan of what is going to happen (like you do here: "The Roughnecks would simultaneously raid several Imperial targets"), and even then you should follow it up with what did happen.
 * 83) *I'll continue with my review once you address these. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:45, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Gray Jedi

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:00, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: After incrementally improving it for some time, I undertook a major re-write of this article in response to concerns voiced by Akujenkins over the release of newer sources that provided a conflicting definition of the term. I believe that I have followed the correct formatting rules and style, but this is my first article nom.
 * I believe I'm done with the major formatting and content edits. The article has changed dramatically from when it was first nominated. Thank you again to those who pointed me toward guides and good examples. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 15:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) A quick glance shows major sourcing errors. Did you read the requirements before you nominated this? Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Yes, but I probably missed something. I will re-read the Wookieepedia:Sourcing guide. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:12, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I see what you mean. The article currently has single instance refs using multiple ref format, should be using the long ref list format (although this might change upon fixing other problems), it has numerous references in the introductory paragraphs, it has references placed within punctuation (and mid-sentence), and I erred on the side of inclusion&mdash;violating the "ref articles as sparingly as possible". I will try to fix these issues. Have I missed anything else on this front? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *I have made an initial attempt to bring the REF problems under control. Doubtless these will need more work as I address formatting errors. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:04, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *For starters, I would suggest reading through WP:MOS and WP:LG before anything else. This article is a mess as it is right now and needs a heavy formatting makeover. With all due respect, I can guarantee this nomination will not proceed any further until this is resolved satisfactorily. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:15, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **I will do so, thank you. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 20:20, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***I would also suggest looking at and reading through any of our current Featured and Good articles, specifically organization articles and the like similar to this one, which will serve as excellent models. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****I am looking at Disciples of Twilight and Shapers of Kro Var. The disparity is, frankly, embarrassing. I apologize for nomming this article. I will do what I can. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****No problem. This is how we learn. I'm encouraged by your willingness to improve the article and quick recognition of trouble areas, which is a lot more than can be said for most new nominators. Feel free to take your time addressing anything problems. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:11, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) ******Thank you for the encouragement. When I nommed the article it didn't even have an infobox. That's pretty ridiculous. :( &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *The quote under the "The Jensaarai" subsection should use the "Quote" template, rather than "Dialogue." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:26, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Hmm. I switched it over, as per the WP:MOS, but I'm not sure that I did it correctly. It looks ok though. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 04:42, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **jonjedi... has supplied the quote with the correct formatting. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Please see WP:ATT and check the article against it, as there is a rather excessive amount of speculation in the article. (That extends particularly to the "Possible Gray Jedi" section.") Additionally, please try to avoid using bullet lists where possible, as it's better to simply section off the information and expand upon it (such as Wraith Squadron's Member section) instead of plainly and blatantly listing it. Also, the article should be written completely in past tense per the Manual of Style.  CC7567  (talk) 21:24, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *Thank you for the example, I was just looking for one so I could kill the bulleted list entirely. I have just cut the examples down to known members but have yet to comb through the paragraph content for speculative statements. I thought I had covered tense but I am not surprised to hear I have missed some instances considering the larger state of the article. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 21:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *Okay, the Known Gray Jedi section has been improved. Now that some of the major formatting issues have been resolved, I'm going to walk away from the article for now. I will come back to it tonight or tomorrow to start wrangling the text into line. Thanks again all for the suggestions. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 22:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *Alright, the article has been circumcised of all assumption, supposition, interpretation, specious reasoning, redundancy, and assumption. I have also evaluated for tense, and found that yes, I am, a little. Hopefully the article is at least less offensive now than it was when first nommed. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 02:30, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 20) * Linking&mdash;articles should be linked once in the intro and once in the article's main body. Also, no linking in quotes.
 * 21) * Watch for tense shifting; remember that everything needs to stay in past tense. For example, the following phrase: "While the term originally applied to individual Jedi who experimented with the dark side, its use would expand. It would later be used to describe entire Force traditions and would commonly be misused to describe those who clashed with the High Council&hellip;" should be changed to something like: "While the term originally applied to individual Jedi who experimented with the dark side, its use expanded over time. It was later used to describe entire Force traditions and was also commonly misused to describe those who clashed with the High Council&hellip;" Also: "The term is similar to that of "Dark Jedi"&hellip;" and "While the term points to Force users who walk the line between light and dark&hellip;" should read "&hellip;was similar to that&hellip;" and "While the term pointed to Force users who&hellip;" respectively. Please check for similar instances of tense shifting throughout the article.
 * 22) **Much better, but I'm still seeing a couple instances of tense shifting. For example, the first one I mentioned above still remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Ok, I think I have the tense issues under control. Reading aloud helped. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * Please don't punctuate image captions unless the caption is a full sentence.
 * 25) * Be careful with your sourcing; Currently, the following phrase&mdash;"Both Koon and Katarn held strong allegiance to the light side of the Force, despite their abilities. Penin fell to the dark side but was later redeemed, and Korr stayed true to the light, though he was plagued with doubt over his abilities."&mdash;is sourced to Crosscurrent. However, Penin's fall to the dark side and redemption are not mentioned in the novel. Please adjust the sourcing here and check for similar discrepancies throughout the article. If you need help with sourcing, let me know :).
 * 26) **This one remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Doh! I thought I had fixed it, but the revised version was no better. I moved a problematic sentence to the end and lined up the sources to not alternate. The information in the paragraph is now ordered by source and actually reads better this way. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****Careful; now the last sentence of the paragraph: "Both Koon and Katarn held strong allegiance to the light side of the Force, despite their abilities." is unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 06:26, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****Struck and integrated into previous sentences where the separate sources lie. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:12, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) * Remember to avoid OOU (out-of-universe) perspective wording in articles such as the following: "Previous to his exile on Kashyyyk, Jolee had married a fellow Jedi, Nayama, against the Order's Code (see "Pulling a Bindo")." If you want to link "Pulling a Bindo" in the sentence, I suggest adding onto the sentence something along the lines of: "Previous to his exile on Kashyyyk, Jolee had married a fellow Jedi, Nayama, against the Order's Code, leading to the creation of the phrase, "Pulling a Bindo.""
 * 31) * Also remember to refer to characters by their last names as opposed to their first names after their first mention in the article body. i.e. after Jolee Bindo's introduction in the article body, refer to him by either his full name or simply as "Bindo".
 * 32) *I'm encouraged by your willingness so far to work on this article and see it through the nominations process; keep up the good work. If you need any help with these objections, or if you have any further questions, let me know :). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:50, March 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review! All of your comments make sense to me. I will implement these changes some time tonight or tomorrow. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:43, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Ok, I think I got everything on your checklist! I did have some questions about the last note, however. I assumed that, even though "Jolee Bindo" had been used previously, the section title, quotes, and image descriptions should say "Jolee Bindo" and not just "Bindo". Was that correct? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:51, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Yes, that is fine; usually quotes, image descriptions, and sention titles can use either the last name or full name, it doesn't really matter. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 15:14, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) ****Ok, and I saw that you fixed some of the instances for Bindo. Thanks! One thing I'm curious about is your decision to switch the Jensaarai image to the left side. I understand that alternating is the usual method, but the source I had taken the example from did not alternate. Is it a problem if the section title text for The Imperial Knights wraps around the left-aligned image in some resolutions? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 23:30, March 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) *****No problem. And the image alternating is more of a preference than an actual policy, although, as you said, it is the usual method, because it gives the article a less tedious look. But I have no qualms if you'd prefer to change it back :). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 06:26, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) ******I have no preference, and have decided to leave it. But I did reorder Bindo and ImpKnight entries to have a standard order between the three of "Main Article", "Image", "Quote" for spacing purposes. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:17, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) The Grand Master II
 * 40) * "The term was similar to that of "Dark Jedi", which also referred to Jedi and non-Jedi alike, and denoted those who were committed to the dark side, such as Dark Side Adepts." How was it similar to Dark Jedi; you just said that Gray Jedi didn't succomb to the dark, and now you're saying that they're similar to Dark Jedi? How so?
 * 41) **Poorly worded. It is similar in that it refers to alignment and not to relationship with the council. I will fix or remove that line. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **Fixed. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) * Please clarify in the intro that Qui-Gon Jinn was not actually a Gray Jedi. Right now you just say that he was called one, without saying whether or not this was accurate.
 * 44) **Good call, will do. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **Done. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) * Please also mention Bindo in the intro.
 * 47) **Good call, will do. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) **Done. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***Please avoid using phrases like "most-notable," (unless, of course, the source actually says that) as it is POV. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:46, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ****Struck and replaced with with more neutral language ("one example"). &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:33, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * First sentence of the "History" section: why did the Jedi leadership wish to re-evaluate the Code?
 * 52) **You know...I don't know. I don't even have a source for that. That's legacy text. I will try to find a source for it and remove it if I cannot. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) **It was actually taken from the KotORCG book. I put some of that stuff back in, phrased differently. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) * The History section needs to be expanded. It should have detail on the history and impact on the galaxy of confirmed Gray Jedi, such as Bindo, the Imperial Knights, and the Jensaarai; also a mention of how the term came to be commonly misused would be appropriate. In general, focus more on the history of Gray Jedi in the galaxy.
 * 55) **As opposed to the history of the term, right. Okay I can do that. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **History section expanded from KotorCG content and from the actions of the listed gray jedi. Represents a very large introduction of new text to the article. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * The Philosophy and traits section should be split into a "Philosophy" section and a "Common abilities," or at least re-titled "Philosophy and techniques" or something similar. Also, I suggest adding a sub-section for the common misuse and misconception of the phrase.
 * 58) **I like "Philosophy and techniques" with a sub-heading of "common misuse". &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **There are now two sections: "Traits and techniques" and "Relationship with the Council". &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) * "In fact, individual Gray Jedi might have opposed those who did embrace the dark side, such as how Bindo opposed the Sith." Why the speculation? "Might have?" Sounds to me like one did. Please rephrase.
 * 61) **Okay, I can fix that. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) **Done.
 * 63) * "Still, the Jedi claimed that Gray Jedi underwent a slow tranformation&mdash;" A transformation into what?
 * 64) **I'll check JATM. I assume dark siders. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) **Edited to better mirror the language in JATM. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) * "Korr was later plagued with doubt over use of dark Force powers." From reading Crosscurrent, he was plagued about one particular action he took during the Second Galactic Civil War, not really the use of dark side powers&mdash;in fact, the novel doesn't indicate any use of any dark side powers by Korr at all. I'd suggest just removing this sentence and letting the paragraph end after saying Korr stayed true to the light.
 * 67) **On this I actually disagree. I remember text where he actually says "i can use light and dark side powers, what does that make me? a jedi or a sith?" (paraphrase) in Xcurrent. I will confirm that and try to get you a page number. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) **Yet to find text I'm looking for. Altered text for the meantime to talk instead about his doubts re: Katarn's description of Force powers. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) ***I'll go ahead and strike for now; if you do find the passage, either leave it here or on my talk page. :) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:46, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) * The chronology of Jolee Bindo's section is confusing; please reorder so that everything runs in chronological order.
 * 71) **Good call. Will do. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) **Done. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) * "They were fully trained in the ways of the Force and rejected the dark side of the Force, unlike previous Imperial Force-based organizations." Like what previous Imperial organizations? And were these of the Fel Empire? Or the Previous Galactic Empire, from which the Fel Empire stemmed?
 * 74) **Previous Galactic. Will clarify and include some examples. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) **Clarified. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) * Major tense-shifting issues in the BTS.
 * 77) **Okay. I'll try to clean that up. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) **BTS section completely rewritten. Much smaller and to the point. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) * Several issues with the last paragraph of the BTS: 1. Lots of speculation&mdash;too much "may" or "might be." Either they were sometimes thought to be Gray Jedi or they weren't; 2. Why is this in the BTS? It seems like it would be more in place in the above-suggested misconseption section; 3. Make sure that the ones that are thought to be Gray Jedi are thought to be so by characters IU, and not just by fans&mdash;make sure it really is sourceable to an IU statement, and is not just speculation.
 * 80) **I will clean up that section, either clarifying, relocating, or removing as appropriate. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) **BTS section completely rewritten. Much smaller and to the point. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 82) *Keep up the good work. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:54, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) **Thanks again for the review! Please allow me the weekend to get these issues taken care of. I will post here when I think I have these issues are under control. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) ***No problem; take your time. And as a note, I have to add that I agree with Hydro's reasoning below. Please adjust the article accordingly. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:13, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) ****Yeup. I have made the above changes to the sandbox article, but will not post them until I've resolved Hydro's concern. I'm still looking for the crosscurrent quote, although I did find text that he struggled with Katarns "just a tool" view of the Force. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 15:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) ****Done.
 * 87) *****Just one outstanding objection left; then I'll give the article another look-over. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:46, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 88) ******Cool! Thanks again! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:35, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) The entire article is built around the premise that the "light and dark" definition is the main one, and the "maverick Jedi" definition is a misuse. The problem is, the only source that uses the "main" one is Jedi Academy Training Manual. KOTOR CG states they're lightside maverick Jedi. Legacy 0 says they're lightsiders. KOTOR II says they're maverick Jedi. Stark Hyperspace War implies no other definition but maverick Jedi. The article is heaped with original research claiming that this more common usage is a misuse. The entire thing needs to be rewritten with the uses of the term treated as they are in canon, not the arbitrary advancement of the usage in one source as the "true definition". JATM's definition needs to be treated as it is, the minority usage, whether that's in a note as an alternate usage in the main section, or in the BTS as a contradiction. - Lord Hydronium 03:58, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 90) *I must disagree. Legacy 0 uses the term "gray" to describe the "alignment" of the Imperial Knights, and JATM is the newest, c-canon source for the term. I don't feel comfortable ignoring it because of perceived poor editing. Furthermore, Jolee Bindo, the iconic Gray Jedi, fits the JATM definition perfectly while we have no evidence that Qui-Gon Jinn was a Gray Jedi at all. The KotOR II "gray jedi robe" definition is the only instance of the alternate definition and it does not contradict the JATM definition. I will clarify the Bts section to make this less confusing. Thanks for the review. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ***I will address these individually and put final thoughts below. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 92) **Legacy 0 certainly does not use it as a term of alignment: "Within the Jedi order, Imperial Jedi are considered to be Gray Jedi. While they are not dark side, it is thought that they do not truly follow the way of the Force." There's nothing "half dark/half light" about that definition. They're explicitly not dark. They don't follow the Force the way the Jedi do, is all.
 * 93) ***Hmm. The text I have for this source reads: "The Jedi view the Imperial Knights as "gray"--though the Imperials do not seek to draw on the dark side of the Force, neither do they strictly follow the light side." Do Legacy 0 and Legacy O.5 contain different text? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) ****Yes, they do have different text. Note that Legacy 0.5 doesn't even use the term "Gray Jedi" in reference to the light/dark, though, it simply speaks of them as being "gray".
 * 95) **KOTOR CG: "Falling between the cracks are those Jedi who do not necessarily agree with reinterpreting 20,000 years of proper Jedi etiquette. Like others, these "Gray Jedi" grope for a new paradigm of right and wrong, but consider themselves beholden only to the Force and to their own consciences when determining their path. These mavericks are regularly at odds with the Jedi Council." Defined as mavericks, nothing about being "half dark".
 * 96) ***The text "a new paradigm of right and wrong" and later text "Gray Jedi recognize that theirs is a precarious position, but they believe moral certainty demands tempting the dark side." seem to be talking about alignment concerns to me. "Moral certainty" being a strong light-side alignment. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) ****"Moral certainty" has nothing do with lightness. You can be morally certain and fall anywhere in an alignment spectrum. That sentence is the only thing in the section that even brings up alignment, and it's saying that they strive for a certain moral position that brings with it the risk of dark side temptation. Not that they use the dark side half the time. The entire rest of it is talking about their position in regards to Jedi orthodoxy and moral systems, not light and dark sides. That's the only criterion needed to define them, according to KOTOR CG.
 * 98) **Stark Hyperspace War: "Jinn always does things his own way, always sure he is right, always incredulous if we do not see it his way. Some think he is a gray Jedi." Not an explicit definition, but nothing about alignment, and everything about being maverick.
 * 99) ***My concern here is that it does not give the definition of Gray Jedi or confirm that Jinn is a Gray Jedi. The term "bantha head" could have been substituted for Gray Jedi in that sentence. I don't feel that this example confirms or denies either definition. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 100) ****But the two sentences don't simply sit independently of each other. It starts off by saying that he's unorthodox and does his own thing. This immediately segues into a statement that he's seen as a Gray Jedi. Like I said, it's not explicit, but the connection is clear. And alignment doesn't even enter into the evaluation at all. I mean, if he were to finish with "Some think he is a Dark Jedi," this dialogue would make little sense, because nothing he said beforehand has anything to do with the second part. He's not speaking of Qui-Gon being dark, or Force-neutral, just unorthodox.
 * 101) **KOTOR II: "Gray Jedi are those who, though having completed the teachings of the Jedi, operate independently and outside of the Jedi Council." Explicitly maverick, not alignment.
 * 102) ***The rest of the text is "They are typically seen as misguided, though they have not necessarily succumbed to the dark side." "Seen as misguided" is put in opposition to "not dark side". It is talking about alignment. Also, the Jolee's Robe item in KotOR 2 requires that the wearer be neutral alignment in order to gain the bonus. At the very least, I feel this source is ambiguous. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) ****"Misguided" isn't a question of alignment, it's one of orthodoxy. It's contrasted to "dark side" because they're not dark. The "Gray Jedi" issue is disconnected from that of the "dark" issue. In other words, it's not a declaration of their alignment. As to the robes, that's a game mechanic.
 * 104) **Jedi Academy Training Manual's definition does not consign all of these as "misuses", and to claim them as such is entirely original research. There's no "newest source automatically overrides everything else" rule; new sources can and have been mistaken, and JATM is filled with prime examples of that. In this case, the presence of one alternate definition does not take priority. If you want to include both in the main article, then they need to be treated as the canon treats them. Right now every statement in the article calling the common definition a "mistake" or "misuse" is completely sourceless. - Lord Hydronium 23:44, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ***The JATM provides a very clear definition of the term: "Force-using Jedi who meddle with the dark side without totally surrendering to it are sometimes referred to as Gray Jedi. A Gray Jedi taps into the light side and the dark side equally." Even though the newest source does not take priority, I see no reason why this source, for this topic, should be ignored, especially given the examples of other sources, such as Jolee Bindo from KotOR who was of neutral alignment and said "Well, I assure you, I see more grey than dark or light." I admit this does not confirm an alignment-based definition, but I do feel that it sets Bindo up as one of, if not the, iconic Gray Jedi, and his neutral alignment is a major feature. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 106) ****First things first, I know you acknowledge this, but Jolee is Jolee, not an archetype for the whole notion of Gray Jedi. Hyperbolic example here, but we wouldn't say Gray Jedi are bald black men, or had to kill their wives. Jolee can be a Gray Jedi because he runs outside the normal Jedi spectrum of orthodoxy, and picks his own moral course. Whatever other features he has are not inherent in the definition. As to the larger issue of JATM, I'm not (necessarily) saying to ignore it. Personally, I think there's enough to say that JATM's is contradictory, file it with "Mon Mothma was possessed by Exar Kun" and "the Sorcerers of Tund are all Crokes", and note it in the BTS. But that's tricky territory itself, and maybe you don't think it's so cut and dry. But if it is in the IU section of the article, (and again, you acknowledge this below, so I'm just saying it here for posterity) it needs to be included in a way fitting with the canon sources. Not just "this one's right, all these are wrong" without a source for that.
 * 107) ***Thank you again for your feedback on this. Please know that my arguments are not an attempt to brush you off or force through my pet fanon. I am taking your concerns seriously and I intend to fix the article even if it means that I am wrong and major edits will be required. You have already convinced me that I need to look closer at the KotOR CG, especially for the historical context for the History section I am writing up. I am also reconsidering my terminology for "misuse" and "misappropriation" in favor of "secondary use", "alternate use", "other use", or even "primary use" depending on what is decided re: the sources. If you wish to view the relevant source text from one location, side-by-side, I have transcribed the larger sections on my sandbox article talk page. Thanks again. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) ****I understand, and thank you for going over these arguments and providing support for your own. - Lord Hydronium 02:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) *****Frustrating. There seems to be paired and opposing sources: kotor vs kotor2, Leg0 cs Leg0.5, kotorCG vs JATM. I don't feel comfortable debating the merits of one set over the other, as I feel the argument itself proves the ambiguity. So, both should be represented in the article, neither above the other. However, JATM does offer some text on "true Gray Jedi", who seem to be those who meet both qualifications:
 * "There are those in the galaxy who are not affilitated with any tradition that delve into both the light side and the dark side that are true Gray Jedi."
 * This would explain why the term is not used for a wider spectrum of unorthodoxy (e.g., Altisian Jedi, rim Jedi like Jon Antilles, married Jedi like Nejaa Halcyon, mixed-power Jedi like Jaden Korr). Therefore, I intend to rewrite the article to give both definitions, but without adding more confirmed gray Jedi and with the understanding that "true Gray Jedi" all meet both qualifications, which the three confirmed GJ all do (although it will be noted that Jensaarai and Imp Knights are traditions, of course). Jinn will still be listed as not a Gray Jedi, but will be a major example in a new (well, old actually) "Relationship with the Council" section and all "misuse" language will be dropped. Had I realized Leg0 and Leg0.5, as closely related as two sources can be, differed so starkly, I would have gone this route to begin with.
 * The new intro will read something like:
 * "The term Gray Jedi, or just Gray, was used to describe Jedi who walked the line between the light and dark sides of the Force, to describe Jedi who distanced themselves from the Jedi High Council and operated outside the strictures of the Jedi Code, or both. Those who were considered true Gray Jedi met both qualifications."
 * The article will have to be be modified obviously. And I want to get more text from the kotorCG into the "History" section. I'll try to get these done this weekend around all the Easter family stuff, but this might drag into next week. I will post here again when the article is under control.
 * &mdash;fodigg BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 15:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Changes made. Article now presents both definitions equally, but still limits the "gray jedi" section to confirmed members and highlights the "true Gray Jedi" definition given in JATM. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) *FYI, I did a bit of cleanup. Some handy things to know: "#" shouldn't be used when referring to an issue of a comic series, sources should be listed by release date, and appearances should be listed chronologically. I also removed KOTOR II from "Sources" as it's an appearance rather than a source, I added the New Republic era at the top on account of the Jensaarai, and I added a reference to the Imperial Knights section --- the bit about them using the Force as a tool comes from the Legacy Era Campaign Guide, not Legacy 0. I also added a link and removed a couple of redundant ones to Jedi High Council: in an article's body, you only have to link to something once. I think you'll have to include each issue of Legacy that the IK's are in in the "Appearances" section, rather than just listing Star Wars: Legacy. But you're definitely to be applauded for tackling an article on a subject that's historically been controversial and hotly-debated. Bravo! Menkooroo 16:07, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) **Thank you for the assistance, I will crack open my copies of the Legacy issues and break up the appearances that way. I assume that, as that would mean increased appearances, I'd be adding a scroll box? &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 17:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. I looked it up and couldn't find anything telling me to put it in a scroll box, so I didn't. Also, I did not include advertised appearances that have yet to be released, as I wasn't sure they qualified. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 18:48, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Sorry that you looked through every Legacy issue --- I was hoping that you'd copy and paste from the Appearances section of Imperial Knight. But yeah, no need for a scrollbox; the appearances list is still a pretty short one. Menkooroo 04:05, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****No worries, I don't need much of an excuse to read comics. I learned some tricks about how to organize appearances lists and confirmed that the Imp Knights did not appear in Broken, part 4, improving both articles. &mdash;fodigg  (talk) | 13:51, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *Hmmm. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who is more than a little impressed by your politeness and willingness to learn, especially considering the difficulty of the topic and the fact that this is a first nom for you. This is evidenced by your attitude to reviewers, responses to objections, and the notes you just made on that sandbox page. I'll give it a review once the current reviewers have finished up theirs. Keep up the good work, and don't worry; the first one is always the hardest! SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:50, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks! And I would never turn away a review but yeah, until we confirm the definition of the term...it might be better to hold off until that objection is addressed. :) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:41, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) **The major rewrite has been completed and is hopefully satisfactory for the above objections. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 03:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Jesse

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 01:52, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It certainly has been a while since the last time I nommed a GAN. :P

(0 ACs/5 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Pre-nom review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 02:04, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 19:00, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:07, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 16:39, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Clean as...Jesse's head? :P -- 1358  (Talk) 18:15, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of a clone (who doesn't know grammer)
 * 2) * P&T: Mention that he could fly a BARC Speeder.
 * 3) **I don't see its importance to mention. Mostly all troops can drive these. :P
 * 4) ***If you think so.
 * 5) * BtS: Who voiced him ?
 * 6) **Addressed
 * 7) * Bio: I don't think Jesse alone shot down the commando droids.
 * 8) **It's not important to mention. Neither the episode or its guide even mentions that clone.
 * 9) ***Well, but it is incorrect that Kix and Hardcase stayed at Rex.
 * 10) ****It was Kix and Hardcase, though. If you take a look at the episode, you can briefly see their armor. Also, Kix informed Jesse of Rex's condition after he returned.
 * 11) *That's all from me. Good work. Has he FA length?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:39, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) **Thanks.
 * 13) **Anytime.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:14, March 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) From the Council Chambers:
 * 15) * "After Jesse, Kix, and Hardcase arrived near Kenobi's men,": "arrived near" is a bit awkward.
 * 16) * Is there any way to expand the P&T a little more?
 * 17) **I double checked the episode, Jonathan, and I couldn't find any other information.
 * 18) ***OK, just wanted to make sure. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 16:39, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *Otherwise, looks OK after a copy-edit. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 22:49, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks for the review, Jonathan. :)
 * 21) Cylka:
 * 22) *After landing on the planet, the Republic group spotted a crashed ship. Soon, Jesse, along with troopers Kix and Hardcase, went with Clone Captain CC-7567 to find abandoned escape pods. - Abandoned escape pods imply that they found empty escape pods. Was this the case? Also, were the escape pods from the crashed ship? Please clarify this.
 * 23) **Yes, they were abandoned. The latter objection is addressed.
 * 24) *droids overlooked the group and utilized a sniper rifle to fire at CC-7567. - the word overlooked doesn't work well in this case.
 * 25) **Addressed
 * 26) *I think that it would read better if you pipelinked Rex to CC-7567 and used the nickname Rex in the intro.
 * 27) **Addressed
 * 28) *He, like all clone troopers, was one of the many clones - This sounds a bit redundant. Please reword it.
 * 29) **Addressed
 * 30) *jettisoned onboard an escape pod from his starship - This sounds a bit awkward.
 * 31) **Addressed
 * 32) *In the intro you mention that Jesse and another clone destroyed the droids, but in the main body you only mention Jesse.
 * 33) **Yeah, I removed that clone from the body and forgot to remove him from the intro; the clone is not important to mention. Addressed.
 * 34) *Some of the sentences don't transition very well from one sentence to the next, especially in the main body. I feel that you use Jesse's name too often and that the sentences could be reworked a bit to eliminate that.
 * 35) **Addressed
 * 36) *Taking great concern for Rex's health, Jesse realized that they were on farmland, - What does one have to do with the other?
 * 37) **Addressed
 * 38) *IS it important that his armor had light blue markings? If yes, why?
 * 39) **I took this example from my Fil FA. :P If the "blue markings" doesn't seem right within the article, I will remove it.
 * 40) *Not bad, Jang. Please take care of these things and I'll take another look. Cylka  <font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:01, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) **Thanks for the review, Cylka. :)

Comments
 * Oops, I forgot to add that I removed Suu as being a Twi'lek since it had no bearing on the article. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:13, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sure thing. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 18:38, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Battle of Dorin

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 19:47, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Little Battle #1, complement to the big one.

(4 ACs/3 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:00, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) <Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman <Font color="SaddleBrown">Speak softly, and drive a big tank. 11:38, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:44, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Spotless. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:50, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:22, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * Just one: However, while on a retreat with Senator Rush Clovis of the InterGalactic Banking Clan delegation at Trade Federation Senator Lott Dod's palace on Cato Neimoidia, Senator Padmé Amidala of the Galactic Republic discovered and obtained a disk containing tactical coordinates for the droid foundry. A rather long and confusing sentence. I don't feel that both the reason and location of the retreat are needed for its purposes as context for the battle. One should do. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 21:44, April 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **I have to disagree here; the sentence is completely fine in English (it isn't a run-on), and I don't find that any less amount of facts would be appropriate. Thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 03:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Hmm. It sounds fine when I re-read it. I'll defer to your experience here, but IMO, obtaining the data is the only thing that's relevant to the battle itself, and I don't feel that it needs two sets of context. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:00, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) I think Plo Koon also participated in the battle, because Yoda said to Skywalker and Koon to met at Geonosis after going to Dorin.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:59, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *The line is: Kenobi, with you shall go Master Mundi and Master Luminara. Skywalker and Master Plo Koon shall aid you, if successful on Dorin they are.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:02, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Added. Thank you for catching that.  CC7567  (talk) 18:57, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Anytime, CC.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:01, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Orbital Security Station Six

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:46, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The conclusive, third part of Project Femi; so old I'd completely forgotten about it.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support
 * 1)  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:30, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Large amount of factual errors brought to light by Trayus. I will have to re-review before I unstrike my vote. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:38, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * Make sure everything is past tense.
 * 3) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:43, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * In reality, this was just a ruse to allow the Sith fleet to directly attack Coruscant, where, rather than transmit proper clearance codes to the satellite, Orbital Security Station Six was destroyed before the fleet continued assaulting the planet. Reword that last section. Also, the assault didn't "continue" because it has not yet begun. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **How about now?. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 06:43, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Return of the Sith Empire
 * 7) * "Orbital Security Station Six was the first to encounter the mass of ships" - What do you mean by "mass of ships"? Please be more specific.
 * 8) **Fixed.
 * 9) * You need to be more explicit in the intro in regards to how the station was destroyed.
 * 10) **Done.
 * 11) * I would suggest creating and linking an Orbital Security Station article.
 * 12) **And include what? Just because its name has "six" in it doesn't mean its part of a series. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:10, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Orbital Security Stations have been referenced in other sources, meaning that it is either a model of station or a specific role. Either option would require that it be mentioned and linked to in your infobox and/or intro.
 * 14) ****I created it and did the latter, mentioning the existence of others in the description. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * I would remove the term "quite bulky" from the Description section. It's unencyclopedic and somewhat POV, given that there's no other ship close enough to it to give an accurate comparison of size and bulk.
 * 16) **Done.
 * 17) *"The dorsal side of the craft was adorned with two cylinders lined with blue and black viewports." - First, we don't know that that is the dorsal side, second, you shouldn't refer to the station as a "craft," and third, those are never confirmed to be viewports. Perhaps they are just lights, but regardless, we can't specify.
 * 18) **Changed to "surfaces" NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:10, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Whoops. I fixed the "dorsal" part. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:21, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * "There was a way to easily transfer workers aboard the ship on and off-planet as their shifts changed." - pure speculation.
 * 21) **No. Femi says she was looking forward to going home after her shift, therefore there must be a way to get them back to Coruscant. I took out "easily."
 * 22) ***The easy was what I was referring to as speculation. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 19:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) * In the history you say that Femi was nervous about seeing the Sith fleet and that their arrival was unexpected because they were supposed to be negotiating a peace on Alderaan. This is largely incorrect&mdash;Femi didn't know it was a Sith fleet, and we have no indication of her being nervous as a result of seeing it. She simply claims not to be expecting the vessel, whic could be for a variety of reasons.
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) * The Great Galactic War had not been going on for a century.
 * 26) **Grr outdated information. Fixed.
 * 27) * Everything past the destruction of the station in the History section is fluff. You can give a brief summary (as in one sentence) of the result of the Sacking, but anything more is too much.
 * 28) **I made it two. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 18:10, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 19:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) **You still have a few issues here and there, I'll give it another review soon. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 19:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Mephitisian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 04:17, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Inspired by a Roman goddess (although, apparently, I am not allowed to say as such...)

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 17:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Menkooroo 06:08, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:56, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ~ SavageBob 15:32, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) So be it. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:15, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  CC7567  (talk) 04:51, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) OK, seriously, someone explain to me what Cromag is doing in that image
 * 2) * Is there a reason why "obnoxious" is being used as opposed to just "noxious"? Noxious seems to be a better word for describing atmosphere.
 * 3) **Obnoxious is the word used by the original source. It is never suggested to be poisonous (aka noxious), just smelly.
 * 4) ***Hmmm. Strange word choice. Noxious doesn't necessarily mean poisonous, too. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:33, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Yeah, the word choice is odd. I had to stop myself on a number of occasions from the impulse to type noxious :) --Eyrezer 05:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The Mephitisians and their homeworld are a clear allusion to Mefitas. Best to avoid making a statement of absolute certainty IMO. Clear or not, we do not "know". The first sentence would be more than enough to explain the name. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:45, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **I disagree. It is a clear allusion to this. --Eyrezer 16:17, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***That's the thing about Wookieepedia, though --- unless there's a source confirming it, it's speculation. And as it stands, you currently have an unsourced statement. James Luceno never confirmed that Droma was a clear allusion to the Romany word "Droma" (even though the Ryn were obviously based on the Romany people), so when I had Droma as a FAN, I was told by an inqusitor not to assume that it was. When you say "The Mephitisians and their homeworld are a clear allusion to Mefitas." and don't have a source after it, then a tag should be there. Which is a no-no for a Good Article. Just my two cents. Menkooroo 17:00, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Also, sorry to butt in. Menkooroo 17:01, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) ****I have to concur with Menkooroo here. As it is, it is an unsourced statement, and precedent is also to avoid such clear wording. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:33, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *****You agree with the person agreeing with you? Anyway, made my statement less absolute. --Eyrezer 05:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I tweaked it a little bit to remove any trace of speculation. I agree that it's most likely an allusion to her, but the trick is implying it without actually speculating. Menkooroo 06:08, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 14) * 'the species had a number of evolutionary adaptations, including lacking noses." --- There's something a little off here... it kind of sounds like their noses are inferior. Maybe "the lacking of noses" or "the lack of a nose"?
 * 15) *Intro: Can you give context on what a Moff is (maybe just "Imperial Moff")? Ditto Alliance agents --- what Alliance?
 * 16) *Great job. Holla! Menkooroo 02:32, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Should all be addressed now. --Eyrezer 05:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 19) * "In the scene involving the Mephitisian Mosh Pelkin, there are a number of possible explanations for why the players end up fighting Cromag." Rather than the vague "a number of," it is possible to give a precise number? Other than that, looks solid. ~ SavageBob 04:11, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **How about now? --Eyrezer 07:40, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Skippy Farlstendoiro and more WEG species
 * 22) * I assume OS specifies the word "obnoxious"?
 * 23) **Correct.
 * 24) * Intro "He hosted a celebration for the birthday of local Imperial Moff Bandor which was infiltrated by Rebel Alliance agents." Poor guy, he was infiltrated by enemies probably through a nostril. Or maybe you mean the celebration was infiltrated?
 * 25) **No, I think that one makes sense as it is now.
 * 26) ***I digress, but...
 * 27) * Hist: Does "importing illegal goods" mean smuggling them? If so, maybe a link to smuggler could be added.
 * 28) **Sure.
 * 29) * Hist: "district" probably can use a link &mdash; and not a red one, if you follow me.
 * 30) **Done.
 * 31) * BtS: Suggestion: You could add that no canon source has confirmed whether Mefitas inspired this species' name or not.
 * 32) **No, I'm just going to leave that for now.
 * 33) *Do you have Morganian in your sights? ;) Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:55, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **When I get a spare spot, it'll be Kler'terrian up next. After that, perhaps. --Eyrezer 15:44, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) Toprawa:
 * 36) *Not an objection, but I've noticed when writing GAs, you alternate between whether ending each reference note with a period or not. I don't really care whether you do so or not, but it would be best to keep this consistent throughout each article. Please try and keep your system uniform. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **I've started switching to no punctuation but it seems old habits die hard. --Eyrezer 22:05, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Malastare Narrows

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 07:10, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Little Battle That No One Cares About #2. Apparently it was cool enough to be officially named.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nice. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:57, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job. &mdash;<Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman <Font color="SaddleBrown">No, I did NOT steal your droid! 09:02, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Well done.  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:03, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:47, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 23:21, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:48, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Just one: Since we don't know when this battle took place, we don't know if Trench was aligned with the CIS. You say: "Although Trench was still believed dead by the Republic during the first year of the Clone Wars, he continued his naval service as an admiral within the Confederacy of Independent Systems' navy." It sounds like this battle took place before the Christophsis battle, but it's part of the Clone Wars, since you say "he continued his naval service as an admiral within the CIS..."  JangFett  (Talk) 16:51, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *If I may intervene here, the way I read it, he's not saying that Trench continued his naval service with the CIS as in "he was with the CIS previously, and now he's continuing his service with them," but as in "Trench is continuing to serve with navies, and he does it now with the CIS." This is fine as is, I believe. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:03, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **After a second read it's fine, but I'd like to speak with you on IRC sometime, Jon.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Lauli Wahlo

 * Nominated by: <Font color="SaddleBrown">Jawaman <Font color="SaddleBrown">Speak softly, and drive a big tank. 10:55, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Just a cool looking Quarren with a cybernetic eye.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) First glance
 * 2) *Write the bio from Wahlo's POV please; the first sentence doesn't even acknowledge his existence.
 * 3) **Fixed
 * 4) ***This remains; you're still missing vital information about Wahlo in the bio that you mention elsewhere in the article. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:26, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *You have information in the intro that isn't in the bio.
 * 6) **Fixed
 * 7) ***This remains, and is in a way connected to the one above; you don't give hardly any info about Wahlo. (i.e. you don't even mention that he was a male Quarren.) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:26, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * In the intro you say Wahlo told Tano where to find Bannamu, but in the bio you say Wahlo and Dez told Tano where to find him. Which is correct?
 * 9) **It was Dez. Fixed
 * 10) *I'll give it a full review once these are taken care of. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 12:59, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Cav:
 * 12) * Intro - you mention that Tano and Sinube were looking for Tano's lightsaber ... why? Some context is needed.
 * 13) **Fixed.
 * 14) * Intro - Wahlo answered them that he knew where to buy one, but once the Togruta revealed herself to be a Jedi, explained that her weapon had been pilfered by Bannamu, who could be found at the Spider Arms Hostel. This sentence is disjointed and fragmentary; consider revising and breaking up.
 * 15) *Context on the pickpocket - what was their name?
 * 16) *Why was the Weequay arms dealer being arrested?
 * 17) **Is that relevant to the article?
 * 18) ***I wouldn't have asked for the information if I didn't think it was relevant. Context is important. Do not assume that the reader knows these facts, or has even read/seen the source material. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 20:24, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *Why did Tano and Sinube go to Wahlo to learn the location of her lightsaber?
 * 20) *P&T - why did Wahlo make an exception to "betraying" his friend when Tano revealed herself to be a Jedi?
 * 21) *The article has several grammatical errors and underlinking throughout; please fix these. Articles should be linked to on first mention, and you are missing several obvious ones such as lightsaber. - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 23:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) Airdate for "Lightsaber Lost"? -- 1358  (Talk) 05:01, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Salissian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 14:19, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I kinda feel sorry for them...

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 20:28, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:07, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) ~ SavageBob 05:14, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  CC7567  (talk) 06:40, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:12, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * These, and two others he killed, before slowly being overwhelmed by Confederacy forces. Sounds a little wierd when reading it quickly. Reword.
 * 3) **Got that during my copy-edit; we edit-conflicted. :P Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:09, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Heh :D SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:13, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *Three members of the Salissian special forces What are the Salissian special forces? Some organisation? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:08, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) **I've linked to special forces. There is no real info provided on them. Presumably they were mercenaries with better training... --Eyrezer 06:09, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***As it is, the Salissian special forces sounds like the official name of an organisation; due to its naming, it would need an article regardless of the amount of info available. If it's not an actual name then could you reword it into something like a special force of Salissians, to make it unspecific?
 * 8) ****Red-linked instead. --Eyrezer 06:11, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 10) * They're apparently ugly? Maybe this should be under "Appearance and biology," which is currently empty? It is probably also worth adding an A&B section that says that they are mainline Humans biologically. ~ SavageBob 04:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **I actually think the ugly comment refers to their demeanor, not their appearance. It picks up where the lead quote ends. --Eyrezer 04:58, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) "Ji, as a former Teräs Käsi champion, was a deadly melee fighter, before working as a combat instructor for the Republic." The chronology is unclear here; you're saying that he is a fighter and yet before worked as a combat instructor for the Republic, and the sentence is overall rather choppy.  CC7567  (talk) 05:27, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Unchopified. --Eyrezer 06:09, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Aggressor (Super Star Destroyer)

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:29, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It may not be an Exy, but it's still a Super Star Destroyer.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) You guys will have these SSDs done in no time. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 16:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Good read.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:39, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Indeed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:05, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 20:19, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 20:40, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:13, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * If those infobox additions aren't appropriate, please revert them, but something needs to be there under "earliest sighting" and "destroyed."  CC7567  (talk) 20:40, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * When it comes to this, I've noticed that articles are very inconsistent on the inclusion (or exclusion) of locations next to these dates. I've tweaked the location for "destroyed," but I think it would be best if there is no location for "earliest sighting." I was hoping to catch you in IRC to discuss this; if you would prefer them changed, let me know and we can figure something out. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:12, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

17,000 BBY

 * Nominated by: &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:38, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The years return. With the Great Manifest Period completely done, it is onward to the Indecta Era.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) In times of old, when time was young. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:11, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) I always thought Yarael Poof was a mutant. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:19, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:07, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy's starting to feel old
 * 2) * The galaxy: 'believing it to be their "rightful" place' I think the quotation marks are not needed, as you explain that it's a quote. Your decision.
 * 3) **That word is used in quotes in the source material. I just decided to change it.
 * 4) * The galaxy: "Although illegal within Republic space, the scientists operated outside of the Republic's borders,[8] seeking to perform genetic experimentation on sentient species." Your wording suggests that the scientists themselves, their existence, not their activities, was illegal within Republic space
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) *Come on, only 25,046 noms more and we'll have all the Old Republic era.Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:21, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Well, want to help? &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 14:07, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) Soresu
 * 9) * However, the event escalated into actual fighting. A near–civil war was only avoided How can you avoid a near-civil war? You either avoid a civil war or have a near-civil war. Also, the two sentences seem contradictory. Perhaps you could use full-fledged civil war like you did in the intro.
 * 10) **Tweaked it.
 * 11) * seeking to perform genetic experimentation on sentient species because such actions were illegal within Republic space. This makes it sound like the reason for their experimentation was because it was illegal.
 * 12) **I'm not completely satisfied with it, but it works now and is correct on all fronts.
 * 13) * the desire to usurp the capital coupled with the competition in the Slice caused periodic unrest the final conflict occurred in 3,017 BBY. Doesn't make sense. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:01, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Word was missing but has been added. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:12, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) Chack:
 * 16) * "Inside the Republic, the conflict between Alsakan and Coruscant was the first of seventeen such conflicts between the two planets." Could you replace one of these "conflicts" with a synonym?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Done.
 * 18) * Also, there's no need to have links in "Events" when they're already in the article elsewhere. This isn't really an objection, since I fixed it, but a note to you to remember for the future.
 * 19) **I was under the impression from earlier noms that it was wanted since this section was essentially a carryover of the timeline format that originally existed; that way, this subsection itself could be used for easy browsing. I may have misinterpreted it, but I was under the impression that it was necessary. This is something we can talk about later as it is an easy fix either way.
 * 20) *Otherwise, well done.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:44, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) **Thanks, Chack. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:58, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Updated with information from The Written Word. This was one of the hold-ups in even getting this one done. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 20:38, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

New Republic task force (Kal'Shebbol)

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 23:49, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: DarkStryder + Boredom = this nom. Enjoy :P

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:56, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Once you're done with all the battles, you'll nominate the remaining characters of the Command crew? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:18, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy: Let's Kathol
 * 2) * Intro: "The task force battled Sarne's forces, but were unable to prevent the Moff from escaping the planet when Page's Commandos were successful in lowering the shields, allowing the New Republic to take Kal'Shebbol. " Four important events in the same sentence. Also: Suggests that the task force's failure to stop the Moff was decisive in the New Republic victory. Could please reword it?
 * 3) **Broken up, reworded a little.
 * 4) * Intro "was given three days" Three days of what? R&R? Training? Briefing?
 * 5) **Contextified.
 * 6) * Hist: If "time" was linked in the intro, why is it unlinked in 2nd paragraph? Ditto for the admiral; watch that linking.
 * 7) **Linked and linked.
 * 8) * Hist: Context on Virgilio
 * 9) **Changed to "New Republic officer Sarin Virgilio"
 * 10) * Hist: Are you looking for Petty officer instead of Petty Officer?
 * 11) **Probably. The source capitalises it though, so I pipelinked.
 * 12) * Yes but, when will we see the battle of Kathol? Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:03, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Well, judging by the semi-chronological progression of the noms, I foresee the Battle of Kathol being produced around November 2011 :P - Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 20:45, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Kler'terrian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:45, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) What is it with you and four-armed species? ;P ~ SavageBob 04:54, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Eyestalks! Eyestalks are more important than four-armness! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:50, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *I like to keep people guessing as to the true underlying pattern behind my articles. --Eyrezer 12:54, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:32, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Skippy's not as worried about your penchant to four-armed species as he is about eyestalks
 * 2) * Bio: You mean that a Kler'terrian can have 360-degree vision if that individual consciously organizes his eyestalks in a specific pattern? Or do they have 360-degree vision all the time? Could they also move the eyestalks to look up and down?
 * 3) * "kept a close eye over events" Is this an intended pun?
 * 4) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:27, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **I am known for puns, but here I'm just using a common phrase. As to the first question, the former. The "allowing" should be sufficient to indicate this. --Eyrezer 12:47, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa:
 * 7) *Does the source hyphenate "eye-stalk?" If not, I would suggest making it one word, which seems to be the most common real-world spelling: "they had three eye-stalks" Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:11, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

16,782 BBY

 * Nominated by: &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:53, April 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: About three hundred words, so just over the minimum requirement. Should not cause too much trouble.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 16,782 BBY. A good vintage. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Some consistency issues between this nom and 17,000 BBY. First off, you bold an extra (BBY) in the latter without doing it in the former, and also, in the notable events section, you use periods at the end of each point in one but not the other. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:00, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * No images or quotes are extant since it only comes from the Atlas. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:53, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Tren

 * Nominated by: ~ SavageBob 01:47, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Quite possibly the most boring-looking alien species ever created. ~ SavageBob 01:47, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) The not-at-all-most-boring-looking alien species Skippy has ever seen.
 * 2) *Appearance: "forhead" means "for e head"?
 * 3) *Appearance: You should mention their lack of hair. Besides, it was mentioned in the intro.
 * 4) *Society and culture: "Soldiers on Nopsin served for a certain tour of duty before being allowed to pursue other occupations." I don't get it. Do you mean that citizens of Nopsin were conscripted for a military service? Or professional soldiers were to serve a certain time and only later they could specialize in other military activities?
 * 5) *ITG/quote: Is "devestated" a word? If it's a typo in the OS, I suggest you add "[sic.]".
 * 6) *Airen Cracken is only linked in the intro but mentioned in the body. Link him in the body too.
 * 7) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:12, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments