Wookieepedia:Good article nominations



This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist

What is a Good article?
A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.

A Good article must&hellip; All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.
 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;not be tagged due to an excessive number of redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

Nomination of Good articles
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all sixteen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, at least two of which are from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members, after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Palleus Chuff

 * Nominated by:  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  14:54, 9 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I tried one more for GA.

(2 AC/3 users/5 total)
Support
 * 1)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 21:05, 18 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:24, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) --Eyrezer 22:10, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) After a big-ish copy-edit. 07:50, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 10:36, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) IFYLOFD:
 * 2) * In the intro: "In 20 BBY the Galactic Republic government asked him to play Yoda in reality going to a mission to Ithor, while the real Yoda was on a secret mission to Vjun with two Masters and two Padawans." Split up and/or reword this sentence.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * "Due to that small size, he often portrayed characters that he absulotely disliked." Why did his small size force him to play characters he disliked?
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * "Chuff should play Yoda in reality going to a mission to Ithor." This confuses me a little. Is he playing Yoda or going on a mission to Ithor? Clear this up a little.
 * 7) **Addressed
 * 8) * "He also did not have the heart to answer the journalist's question." Who is the journalist?
 * 9) **Addressed
 * 10) * The article could use a good copy-edit.
 * 11) **I have tried it as far as possible. If you still see something, please advise.
 * 12) *"The Dark Jedi Asajj Ventress heart about Chuff's mission in the media and decided to lie in wait for him, because she knew that a dead Yoda would be a catastrophe for the Jedi Order." Why would Yoda's death be catastrophic?
 * 13) **Addressed
 * 14) * The prose itself is a bit choppy. Merge some short sentences that distupt the flow of the article together.
 * 15) **Also tried this as far as possible. If you still see something, please advise.
 * 16) * "After Yoda had already done four of five" Four of five of what?
 * 17) **Addressed
 * 18) * Any quotes?  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:18, 10 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) **Added one, the rest are only such simple quotes like "Thank you." or "May the Force be with you.". Thank you for the review.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:22, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) Chack Attack:
 * 21) * "enjoyed playing roles, especially playing heros." Could be phrased better.
 * 22) **Addressed
 * 23) * Clarify the "as he was going to a mission" bit in the intro.
 * 24) **Addressed
 * 25) * "Asajj Ventress intended to kill Chuff because she felt confident that Yoda flew the courier." Bad wording.
 * 26) **Addressed
 * 27) * "because the play got good criticism from the media, for example by the TriNebulon News." This reads very awkwardly.
 * 28) **Addressed
 * 29) * "There was also a fan called Charpp who watched Jedi! 15 times." Only include if you can tie it in to the article better.
 * 30) **Removed, because it is not really important for the life of Palleus Chuff.
 * 31) * "When he was finally on his own, one of his major goals was not to disappoint Yoda. For that reason, he ignored his thinkings of a killer droid shooting him. It was eventually an easy job for him to cut off the supports off the Last Call by using the lightsaber Yoda gave him." These sentences don't tie well together.
 * 32) **Rephrased
 * 33) * "He instantaneously went to the turbolifts after that where he already imagined his own death, when Yoda suddenly arrived." Bad wording.
 * 34) **Rephrased.
 * 35) * "In addition, his colleagues eventually saw his witty qualities. Since childhood, Chuff had the fear of flying as well as the fear of closed spaces." I'd suggest you split this second sentence into the start of a new paragraph.
 * 36) **Addressed
 * 37) * "Another important thing at that time was Yoda's safety. Therefore, he warned him of the battle droids that were looking for him." Also, poor phrasing here.
 * 38) **Addressed
 * 39) * There are several spelling and grammatical errors. I apologize for not fixing this myself, but I think it'd be good for you to do this. (Also, after cleaning some stuff up, Wikia locked the site, erasing my edit).
 * 40) **I corrected every error I could find.
 * 41) * Also, should the play be italicized? Check the book.
 * 42) **Addressed (Yes, it is italicized.)
 * 43) *A good copyedit would go a long way towards making this article better. Concentrate on cleaning up the prose throughout the article; there are many instances where things read poorly and that drags the article down. I may have some poor stuff later; deal with this for now and we'll see how that goes. And don't get worried if this seems like a lot. It's not as bad as you may think.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:37, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) **I have cleaned up every poor sentence/wording I could see. If you still see something - which may be the case as wording is not one of my strengths - please advise. Thank you for the review.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  20:14, 29 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) * "a little peeved" Too colloquial.
 * 46) **Addressed
 * 47) * "Restricted by his height, he often had to portray characters that he found strange." It seems like there could be a better adjective than strange here.
 * 48) **Addressed
 * 49) * "In 20 BBY Chuff portrayed Yoda as he was going to a mission to Ithor in order to keep the galaxy believing Yoda found himself in Ithor." Not worded well.
 * 50) **Addressed
 * 51) * "Full of shaky courage, he went ahead to cut the support legs off the Last Call. Already imagining his own death, the courage went away until Yoda arrived to save him from the suction." Again, this is a little confusing, and needs better wording.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:02, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) **Addressed. Thank you for looking again.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  13:57, 14 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) *"Palleus Chuff was a person who frequently attended role-playing games in his childhood" This should be rephrased to flow better.
 * 54) **Addressed
 * 55) *You're getting there, but there's still more work to be done. I suggest you go through, read this and do your best work at cleaning up grammar and improving sentence phrasing. A good cleanup would go a long way. Keep up the diligent work!  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:18, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) **I think it should be better now. I've done a bit myself, but especially after the great copy-edits by Cav, Eyrezer and Soresumakashi, the sentences should be better now. Let me know, if more copy-editing is required.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  11:55, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) Farlstendoiro: Greetings, my first time objecting. Small thing.
 * 58) *In the intro, the following string of characters appears twice: her ship, the Last Call. I think it could be reworded, and the second time it should not be a hyperlink. IMHO, and I am open to discussion if needed.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:21, 28 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) **Reworded. Thank you for the review.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  12:02, 29 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * According to Sourcing articles with only one source or appearance should not be referenced. You may therefore want to remove all the referencing tags --Jinzler 21:23, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) **Actually, You are right, but it is still ok to use references in single-source articles. For example, the administrator Toprawa and Ralltiir uses them, and I also like to use them.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  14:36, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) ***Fair enough, it's up to you really. I'll strike my objection --Jinzler 20:01, 12 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) Toprawa:
 * 64) *This entire last bit is in need of a good rewrite for greater clarification and context. Don't assume anyone knows what's going on. What courier? What new scheme? I would recommend tackling this bit from scratch. Details are your friend. "Arriving in the Ottega system, the Dark Jedi Asajj Ventress intended to kill Chuff because she erroneously believed that the person in the courier was the Jedi Master. However, she found out that the passenger was only a decoy and captured him in her ship, the Last Call, to implement her new scheme. Chuff finally gained revenge in Phindar&mdash;while Ventress made an attempt to kill the real Yoda&mdash;by engaging her ship's hyperdrive for a random hyperspace jump. " Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:27, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) **I think it's clarified now. Thank you for the review. If you think that the intro still needs some work or anything else is needed, just let me know.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  10:25, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 67) * The last paragraph of the bio could do with revising/expanding to better clarify the events surround Chuff and Yoda's mission to save the spaceport. Why is Yoda cutting the support legs? Why will cutting the legs save the spaceport? It is a little unclear. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 12:30, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) **I have expanded this as much as possible, but unfortunately Yoda: Dark Rendezvous only has few information regarding this. Nevertheless, thank you for the review and the cleanup. If you think that there's still something else needed, just let me know.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:19, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Pranay Sobusk: I saw you have fixed my objections. I plan on looking through the article within the next two days, and striking my objections. I apologize for the delay.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:15, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
 * No problem.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  20:41, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Pranay, spaces between punctuation and reference note are not necessary. Please avoid that. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:27, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the review, Toprawa. The spaces are now removed from the article.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk  21:19, 10 January 2009 (UTC)

Darth Malak

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:18, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Drewton and I have worked on this article for a while, and I believe it's ready to be considered a good article.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 21:22, 20 November 2008 (UTC)

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Thats all I can see that other people haven't objected to. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:48, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) It's looking good! 04:18, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) From the pages of NaruHina's Death Note
 * 2) *It seems OK but:
 * 3) * The him being in the Old Republic Era in the Infobox is not sourced
 * 4) * The language base in the Bts is unsourced
 * 5) **"While such a name might seem incongruous with Darth Malak's role as Sith Lord, he could be seen as a fallen angel due to his Jedi beginnings." I think this should be sourced as another opinion may be that he sees himelf as a divine messenger or something. There are many ways that "angel" and "messenger to God" can go.
 * 6) **Actually got rid of that, it just states what the actual name means in Hebrew and Arabic, have sources.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:35, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) * There is a Fact tag in the Bts.
 * 8) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:15, 16 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * One last thing, the succession box is not sourced. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:07, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Took care of it, sourced now.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:03, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:20, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) Quotes in prose, speculation rampant in BtS, bullets in BtS, tiny paragraphs. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:19, 21 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) There's quotes in the middle of sections, that's against MoS, the double and triple refs aren't needed, some sections are just way too short, mainly article prose problems. It would also be good idea to copyedit the article, there are numerous grammatical errors. Watch for POV in the article, the intro, P&T, and P&A have loads of it in their respective sections. Also, the BtS, needs to be rid of speculation, bullets , then expanded with stuff that can be sourced, IE: interviews, actions figures, etc. DC 01:30, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) It's IFYLOFD!:
 * 15) *More info on the "devices" in the intro.
 * 16) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:36, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) *Is there an article on Darth Revan's flagship? If so, add a link to it in the intro.
 * 18) **Fixed, also linked in the body. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:53, 3 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) *"The Sith Lord corrupted Shan, who he had once considered a threat, and made her his apprentice, replacing the slain Darth Bandon, whom Revan had killed." Reword and/or split up this sentence.
 * 20) **Adressed. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:34, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Context needed on Deesra Luur Jada and Lucien Draay.
 * 22) **Done. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 14:09, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) *More info on the "discovery" made by Adasca.
 * 24) *Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *Context for Krynda Draay and Xamar.
 * 26) *I think it's fixed, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:22, 22 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *Unsourced statements in BtS.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:50, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) *Fixed, I believe.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 18:45, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) Cylka:
 * 30) * The infobox needs to be sourced correctly. Also any additional text in or out of parenthesis needs to either sourced separately or written before the ref notes, whichever the case may be.
 * 31) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * The Star Forge wasn't just a superweapon, but also a space-based factory or spacestation. I think it would be worth mentioning that.
 * 33) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) * Was Malak helping Zayne in trying to apprehend Gryph? I thought that he was looking for Zayne at the behest of Lucien Draay and found him after Gryph got away. I could be wrong, but please check this out.
 * 35) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) * Give a little more info on how Zayne ended up on the Legacy. You mention that Zayne started a diversion, but no one knows how or why he got there.
 * 37) * Please give a little more context to how Zayne ended up on Jebble and they had to rescue him again. Just a sentence will do. Something like In light of certain events on Taris, Zayne traveled to Jebble where he was once again in need of assistance.
 * 38) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) * Please remove any quotes in the prose. From what I understand quotes or partial quotes can only be found in Bts, while quote templates only at the beginning of sections.
 * 40) *Those quotes in the BTS section are somewhat necessary, I feel, since they are from James Ohlen and John Jackson Miller, respectively. The quote from Ohlen is from Malak's databank entry, while the partial quote from Miller is from the letters section of Knights of the Old Republic #29. We can't just ignore those quotes.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:31, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *Make sure that "master" is capitalized when referring to them by name or Jedi Master. I changed some of them, but I'm not sure I got them all.
 * 42) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:04, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) * It was not long before rumors began to spread that Malak's apprentice, who would be known as Darth Bandon, would challenge him for the right to rule, as was the manner of the Sith. The result of this revolt, however, is unknown. Other Sith only wondered about this. Bandon didn't form a revolt. He was killed before he could - according to the databank. This needs to be changed.
 * 44) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * Malak was a pale-skinned human who stood an impressive two meters in height. What is the ref, for his height. Cylka  -talk- 01:19, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) *Addressed.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 16:57, 12 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *There seem to be some linking issues throughout the article. As I understand it, in articles each linkable subject should have one link each in the intro, main body, image caption, and infobox.
 * 48) **I've taken care of the excessive linking.
 * 49) *Its looking good, but still needs a little work. Cylka  -talk- 23:40, 11 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Took care of the quotes in the middle of sections, took out the bullets in BTS, him being part of the OR era is already sourced, will work on sourcing the language bases.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 20:53, 24 November 2008 (UTC)
 * I think someone should take notice of the hideous amount of Point of View violations in the "Legacy" section. -MPK 18:25, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Except that what's in that section reflects character's opinions of Malak, such as G0-T0, Canderous Ordo, and Mical.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:41, 7 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Then you need to include that it was their reflections. As it stands, it's POV, but with some tweaking, it could be fixed without changing the meaning of the sentences. DC 16:08, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Tweaked it a bit, check it out.--Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:05, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Mission to Monastery

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 15:41, 7 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And now, some older stuff...

(3 ACs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 14:59, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Watch out for colloquial language, though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:04, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka  -talk- 04:38, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) It's time for: Going Old School With IFYLOFD:
 * 2) *Articles should be linked to once in the intro and once again when they appear first in the main body.
 * 3) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *In the intro: Baron Tagge? Provide context. Is it Domina Tagge?
 * 5) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *In the Background section: "After learning the identity of the pilot who destroyed the Death Star". Say who it is. You leave it unclear.
 * 7) **Rephrased. QuiGonJinn (Talk) 20:49, 19 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *In the main body: Provide context on Vader,Domina Tagge, Luke Skywalker, Jan Dodonna, Han Solo, and Leia.
 * 9) **I think it's done. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *In Mission: Provide context on Wermis, and Baron Tagge.
 * 11) **Context added. There is really nothing more to say about Wermis. He is just a captain... QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Why was Tagge their long-time enemy?
 * 13) **Explained. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 10:42, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *In Skirmish in Crystal Valley: Which Tagge does he kills? Baron or Domina?
 * 15) **Cleared that up. Also added a little more context. QuiGonJinn Always remember, your focus determines your reality.[[Image:Qui-Gon negtc.jpg|20px]] 13:41, 18 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Needs a Behind the scenes section.
 * 17) **Added. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:48, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:42, 17 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 20) * Vader forced Domina Tagge, a member of the Order of the Sacred Circle located on Monastery, into cooperating with him, promising power and prestige, as well as revenge on Skywalker, for Domina believed her brother, Orman, was killed by him, but he was in fact saved by Vader and has been since kept in hibernation. - This sentence is too long and reads jerkily. Consider breaking it up.
 * 21) **Splitted into two sentences.
 * 22) * Watch the usage of first names; refer to Luke as Skywalker, etc. I've changed a few, but you should check over the entire article.
 * 23) **Only Orman and Domina are refered by the first names, since they both share the same surname and using it may lead to a confusion. All others are refered by the last name.
 * 24) ***Orman and Domina are fine, but I did change a lot of Luke, Leia, and Hans to Skywalker, Organa, and Solos.
 * 25) * The start of the second paragraph in the Mission section reads awkwardly - you say they were captured, but don't tell us who. Also, you later say that Leia avoided capture, but the previous statement about the capture implies that they were all captured at the same time.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) * Clarification is needed - why was Orman Tagge in a hibernation cell?
 * 28) **Clarified. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 21:47, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Okay, Vader put him in the cell but why? What does a hibernation cell do? Don't assume that the reader knows everything - I'm very fuzzy on the entire Marvel era. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:15, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ****Added more context. I hope it's OK now. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:33, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * Skirmish in the Crystal Valley section - explain the nature of the valley before the sequence of events that is to take place.
 * 32) **Explained.
 * 33) * Same section - As Vader was approaching the ceremonial Crystal Valley to fight Skywalker, he noticed the Falcon, aboard which Organa and Solo were at last able to free themselves, but distracted by the pursuing TIE fighters to notice that Orman escaped and ran into the valley. This is unclear and badly worded. Please rewrite and break up to better describe the situation.
 * 34) **Reworded.
 * 35) * It should be mentioned that Vader intended to use Tagge as a test for Skywalker before it's revelation to Luke. Remember, this is an omnipresent article, told from a neutral point of view.
 * 36) **Mentioned. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 15:10, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) * Check for extra sources - is the encounter mentioned in any other source material, e.g. Star Wars Encyclopedia, the The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia, etc. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:03, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **No mention in the Essential Chronology, Star Wars Encyclopedia, the Essential and the New Essential Guides to characters, Essential Guide to Planets and Moons (the last one doesn't even have an article about Monastery). I don't have the Complete Encyclopedia though. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 20:29, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ***I'll check it for you, QuiGon.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:44, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ****I'll strike this one either when Chack reports back, or when you fixed my last outstanding objection (whichever comes first) as I will trust that the information will be included if found. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:15, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *****It's given a brief mention. I added it to the "Sources" section for you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 01:56, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) Toprawa:
 * 43) * Please go through the infobox and remove any unnecessary spacing between information and reference tags and kill any duplicate linking. Items should be linked once throughout the infobox and no more. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:35, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Addressed. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:52, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * Should have included this in that objection, too, my bad. It's not necessary to include individuals in the "Strength" field who also appear in the "Commanders" field. That's just redundant. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:54, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) **Addressed as well. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 18:10, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) Cylka:
 * 48) * I believe that Vader didn't as much force Domina to cooperate with him, as much as he tricked and somewhat brainwashed her. She wanted vengeance on Skywalker, so she went along with it. The introduction and prelude should be reworded a bit to illustrate this.
 * 49) **Addressed, I guess. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:51, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Maybe you should mention that Dodonna sent Organa et al. secretly so that she could monitor Skywalker and help him if need be, since only one representative from each side was allowed to go to Monastery. I would also include that Artoo and Threepio each went with their respective group. It gives a bit more context to the laserwave link that was set up.
 * 51) **Both mentioned.
 * 52) * However, Organa had brought Domina's brother and former baron of the House of Tagge, Orman Tagge with her, whom Vader used to test Luke's mastery of the Force. - This sentence gives the impression that Organa brought Orman to Vader. Maybe it should be changed a bit.
 * 53) **Reworded it a bit.
 * 54) * Since this whole mission was a way to test Skywalker's limits, it might be worthwhile to mention that Skywalker believed that Vader had learned enough about him that he wouldn't need to be cautious anymore about attacking him or the Rebels.
 * 55) **I'm not quite sure about this. It is not stated what Skywalker believed in the comic. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 12:51, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) ***I believe that Skywalker talks about this in the second to last panel of Star Wars 37: In Mortal Combat, as the Millennium Falcon is leaving Monastery. Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 15:03, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 57) ****How could I miss that? Thanks for pointing out. Integrated in the article. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:39, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * Please double check the linked articles. An article should be linked to the first time it is introduced. I found some links, but I'm not sure I got them all. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 09:49, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **I've killed two more redundant links. I guess that's all of them. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 13:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Grebleips

 * Nominated by: Lord Hydronium 00:57, 20 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Phone home.

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Break out the radios! NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:56, 21 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:20, 21 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:33, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) P&T would be useless and shoehorned. The article already has everything, and gives us everything. Clean, as far as I can see. Thefourdotelipsis 22:48, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:33, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) --Eyrezer 22:31, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) There must be a P&T, per the Layout Guide and Rule 4 above: "…follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia." There are things to be had, such as his interest in extragalactic exploration and his political inclination. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:53, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *13 says it only needs to be included if information is available. It isn't; those things would be assumptions and OR. As for the Layout Guide, it doesn't require any sections, only saying that P&T is "typical". - Lord Hydronium 20:14, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **The information is available&mdash;I'm not suggesting you make conclusions as to Grebleips's overall intentions, just that you explain what he did, what distinguished him as a Senator. Graestan ( Talk ) 23:19, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I don't know what I can say that's not already in there. It's already mentioned that he was part of the Delegation of 2000 and funded an extragalactic survey, so that would just be repeating information—even worse when it's so short. - Lord Hydronium 05:26, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I went ahead and added one, being careful not to draw conclusions or speculate outside the scope of the source material. Tell me what you think. Graestan ( Talk ) 00:55, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****I appreciate the help, but I felt that both of those were pushing it. Grebleips being against Valorum is definitely outside the movie, and I felt that even the assumption of Grebleips motivations in the Delegation of 2000 was pushing it. We can assume that he was against Palpatine's methods, and it's probably not a bad assumption, but without specific statements on his motivation, it is just an assumption. In regards to my rather blanket revert—sorry, it was a bit of a knee-jerk; I didn't realize there was a talk item here, so I removed it before I saw this, but if you want to discus possible P&Ts that would work, or adjustments to the one you wrote, I'm up for it, here or on IRC. - Lord Hydronium 02:06, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ******Then it's a simple matter of rewording. If you don't get to it sooner or later, I'll try again. Graestan ( Talk ) 03:07, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * No P&T information, so no P&T. - Lord Hydronium 00:57, 20 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Graestan has a point. When I GA'ed Titus Klev, I essentially reworded a few paragraphs from the Bio and placed them in again as a P&T. I understand where you're coming from, but enough info is there. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 15:07, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
 * What does that add to the article, though? How does it make it a better article to have it repeat info two sections in a row? - Lord Hydronium 19:41, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
 * I agree that a P&T would be pointless - after all, I did vote support already. But we do know enough about Grebleips to add in a P&T; we probably know even more about him that I knew about Klev, and I managed to add something into that article. One paragraph is really all I'm asking. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:00, 29 December 2008 (UTC)
 * No offense, but if it's pointless...why add it? We can't even say "the rules demand it", because they don't. I think it would detract from the article by making it extremely redundant. - Lord Hydronium 01:54, 30 December 2008 (UTC)
 * I've struck my vote until the P&T is added. Like I said above, there is enough info for even a short P&T. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 01:41, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Only at the expense of the quality of the article. It's redundant, and like you said, it's pointless. - Lord Hydronium 02:48, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * FWIW, Aris-Del Wari—an infant who appears only in those HoloNet news briefs—has a P&T, though it may be only three lines. Surely something like that would suffice here.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:12, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * She has a P&T only because 4dot knew that people would insist upon The Rules saying it needed one (I hope I'm not misrepresenting his position, but that's the impression I've gotten; 4dot, you're welcome to correct me). That said, even she has more information on the character's personality than Grebleips. There is literally no information that is not already part of his biography, and I fail to see how repeating "He was a Senator who funded extragalactic surveys and signed the Petition of 2000" makes for a better article. - Lord Hydronium 22:33, 1 January 2009 (UTC)

Darth Nihilus

 * Nominated by:  NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:25, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Thanks to Cylka for the inspiration and information. Lets make this the first Restored GA!

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:21, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:54, 4 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 05:22, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 07:00, 10 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) A good romp with the FAN would do this some real justice, methinks. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 15:15, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (talk) 15:43, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Object style="color: #000000;">Talk  08:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) The BtS is a bit all over the place. Please subsection it as appropriate and break it into proper paragraphs; it looks a bit triviaish at the moment. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:23, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I think I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 19:13, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Cylka:
 * 4) * The Trayus Academy kept on producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders, who spread death and the following of the dark side like a disease. What does "the following of the dark side" mean? Please clarify.
 * 5) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * As it neared the Miraluka colonized world Katarr, Nihilus spoke, obliterating Katarr How did him speaking obliterate Katarr? Please clarify. Maybe you could add in something to the effect that the Miraluka could hear him through the Force and that his "voice" in the Force was his hunger, therefore hearing him = death.
 * 7) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * [...]the Dark Lord seemed too strong to defeat, then the Exile learned of his weakness and turned the tide. Visas also entered into a trance and tried to disrupt the link with her former Master, undermining his connection to the Force. This makes it sound like they both were in a trance, although I'm pretty sure only Visas was in a trance. Please reword.
 * 9) **And rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose, all seeking to take what little remained of Revan's Sith Empire. However, Nihilus and Sion were now the leaders of the Sith. These statements appear to contradict each other. I know what you mean, but others may not. Reword to say that they became the leaders because they got rid of Traya.
 * 11) **Rephrased. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Give an actual date for the conclave and destruction of Katarr. I actually found a definitive source for the date; I changed all the articles to reflect this. You can find it there. * Cylka *  11:21, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:03, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Good job with adding a lot of info to the article. * Cylka *  02:40, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thank you. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:31, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * it killed all but a few of those who were crushed on the planet's surface. This does not make sense. It sounds as if it killed almost everyone, and then the survivors were crushed.
 * 18) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Using the Force, he was able to keep his robes, armor and mask together, giving him some form, allowing him to use his Force powers and wield a lightsaber, but apart from that he had no longer a physical form and he became simple primitive intention. Break this sentence up.
 * 20) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * I would suggest integrating the third paragraph of 'Encounter with Visas Marr' with the second. This is so you can say that the conclave was the original reason why Nihilus had come to the planet. You should probably add the intentional info leak by Atris and that it was meant to be a trap for him. I'll take a look at the rest in a few hours. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:11, 27 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) **Merged NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * The 'Downfall' section is out of chronology. Please put it into the correct order of events.
 * 24) **Done NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:50, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) **Sorry about not getting this stuff last night (I had a blackout while writing), but the second and third paragraphs are still not in order. For example, the disturbance in the Force, Visas' joining the Exile, and the end of the Onderon Civil War all occurred after the destruction of the mining facility. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 22:01, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *** I'm not seeing where it is out of chronology. Could you please quote where you see it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:47, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ****Nevermind, reading at 3:30AM does things to the mind. I think I fixed it.
 * 28) * The hunger he possessed was a means of severing connections between life, the Force, and feeding upon the death it caused the closer he came to it. Reword. Also, what was he coming closer to? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) **No clue there. Removed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:31, 31 December 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Chack Attack:
 * 31) * "Under the tutelage of Darth Traya he became one of the three Dark Lords of the Sith at the time, the Sith Triumvirate, under the title of the Lord of Hunger, the others being Traya and Darth Sion." This is phrased a bit poorly.
 * 32) **Rephrased? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * "An emptiness swept over his body and it soon began hungering. Without meaning to, he drained the life of someone; it was an unpleasant experience, but for a brief moment the hunger ceased, only to come back more relentless than before." This should also be rephrased.
 * 34) **I'm not sure of how I could rephrase it and people in the IRC think its fine. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:29, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Right, don't worry about it then.
 * 36) * "his voice a great hunger heard" Can you hear hunger? :P Seriosuly, I know what you're trying to say, but it could written better here.
 * 37) **Got it NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:42, 3 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) * "The situation on Onderon got out of hand" Too colloquial.
 * 39) **A two birds with one stone fix. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:43, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * "learned of his weakness" What was his weakness?
 * 41) **Got it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 11:57, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) *Very good job. I'd suggest taking this to FA when it passes GA (only if you feel you're ready, of course).  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:36, 1 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) Please rework the beginning a little bit. We shouldn't be saying things like "all that is known of Nihilus' beginning" because this is out-of-universe. You could alter that to reflect the knowledge of the characters in-universe. You should also contextify/link the Exile upon her first mention in the bio. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:31, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *I already linked/contextified her in the Downfall section. "The Jedi Exile[link] returned to Republic space after being banished from the Jedi Order for following Revan to the Mandalorian Wars. She had begun to reestablish her connection to the Force which was severed during the Battle of Malachor V."
 * 45) **But that occurs after "when the Exile gave the order to activate the Mass Shadow Generator," which is her first mention. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:11, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) *Did I fix the lead-in right? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) Toprawa:
 * 49) * Sourcing needs some serious clean up before I'm going to let this thing pass, and I really have no qualms about expressing my dissatisfaction with the level of review by our AC members here. Please eliminate the unnecessary redundant sourcing in the biography. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:43, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) **I disagree with you on the sourcing; but for the sake of the nom, I fixed it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:15, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***I'm not sure what there is to disagree about it. An article is either sourced correctly, or it isn't, and this one wasn't. Fortunately, you have corrected this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:22, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) Pasta Bowl; part the first&hellip;
 * 53) * More aesthetic than anything else, but there is no image of Nihilus from TSL in the article. None. Surely a screen shot can be taken. One of Nihilus and Marr together would be extremely beneficial to readers since their paths are so intertwined.
 * 54) **I will work on getting another but the image at the end of the Biography is from TSL. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ***A shot of Visas before Nihilus has been added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 23:57, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) *Be careful with the flow in the Introduction. It is choppy with a lot of short finite sentences. I tried to clean it up, but it needs some work in the prose to make it smooth and fluid.
 * 57) **Done? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***I see what you did. Okay, a few things.
 * 59) **** "After losing everything&hellip; after surviving&hellip;" Both 'afters' make it awkward.
 * 60) *****Never mind. I fixed this one myself. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) ****"he turned to the dark side&hellip;" Was he a Jedi? Otherwise, turning would imply that.
 * 62) ****"The apprentices became more and more powerful." This seems just dropped in. There is nothing before that states an apprenticeship aside from "tutelage." The triumvirate, however, implies equality rather than a Master-Apprentice relationship. Additionally, it is so disconnected from the discussion of Nihilus and Traya that no real link can be formed. This connection and the associated wording needs to be reworked and rewritten. It needs to be as clear as possible for the reader to know when he was an apprentice, when he was an equal, and when he overpowered his former master.
 * 63) *****This is only partially cleaned up. "&hellip;encase his spirit within his mask and armor. The apprentices grew in strength during their training; eventually overpowering and exiled their Master, severing her ties to the Force." Note the disjunction between the sentences. It is also disjunctive at the semicolon, which is also improperly used, here. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) ****Similarly, the sentences about his "hunger" and experiences with the mass shadow generator should be mentioned with the Malachor remarks.
 * 65) *****Addressed. NaruHina  <span
 * 1) ******Okay, so this one was moved, but the connectivity was breached. "&hellip;the affliction began to ravage his body. He then came under the apprenticeship&hellip;" Awkward transition, please rectify. Perhaps mention him being "found" might help. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *******I think I smoothed it out. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) * I split the first paragraph of the biography. Make certain the reference at the split point is still correct.
 * 4) **They are still correct. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *The second paragraph of the biography merely states that he was trained by Traya, but after it is stated that he was "christened" as a Sith Lord. Firstly, was he ever apprenticed by Traya? The Intro and infobox states that he was in a Master-Apprentice relationship, but this paragraph does not. Secondly, was he instantaneously found and then "christened" as a Sith Lord? There is a strong disconnect along the time line. Please clarify this paragraph and expand.
 * 6) **Addressed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Better, but a couple of things:
 * 8) **** "He followed her there, to her school on Malachor, and learned the ways of the Sith." Isn't he already on Malachor, or is that not known?
 * 9) *****I fixed this one, too. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****"Time passed and he was eventually a newly christened&hellip;" the eventually...newly part that throws me off. Also, "christened" is an awkward word for being given a title; can that be reworked while we are at it? Or, is that a canon word that I am not remembering?
 * 11) *****Much better here; although, instances of "christened" still exist in the article. Additionally, I do not believe the phrase "Nihilus was named a Sith Lord during this conflict&hellip;" comes from information within TSL. Is there someplace else, or am I missing something? I could be incorrect. Please double check for me. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I'm not seeing any, though it is early in the morning, but christened is a canon word for it. Its in the KotOR CG. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:45, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **** "Nihilus and Sion each honed different teachings of the dark side of the Force&hellip;" Different teachings or aspects/skills/etc.? Just checking.
 * 14) *****Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) * "His power grew beyond what Traya could match and he allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge her, defeating the woman." Where? When? Expand. It is a significant character-development point in TSL.
 * 16) **Expanded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *** Quickie: "Nihilus allied himself with Darth Sion to challenge Traya, defeating the woman at the center of her own Academy in the very heart of Malachor V itself." What was the challenge? How did he defeat her?
 * 18) ****Addressed and as to the second part, thats in there, Sion beat her to a bloody pulp and they sapped her Force energy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:12, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) *****Official objection struck, but I kind of would like to see this done up a little more if you have time. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *"With Traya gone, the Sith were left with no defined leadership and many factions arose&hellip;" Wait&hellip; where did these beings come from? Although not stated, it is implied earlier in the article that the Triumvirate was alone. Clarify.
 * 21) **Clarified. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***Sorry, but I do not believe it is. The paragraph prior to this might be a place to mention that the Sith Empire had fallen and various factions and followers existed. It is your choice, but all of a sudden a three-being group is now a broken and tattered empire as it reads now.
 * 23) ****Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *****Better, but there are two things another thing with this:
 * 25) ******"Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith, those who followed Traya but now wanted her power for themselves, and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." The last half of this&mdash;from "those," onward&mdash;makes little sense. First off, the sentence needs to be broken up, it is a long run-on. Next, who are "those?" Are they Nihilus and Sion? Are they other Sith minions who did Traya's bidding? Clarify. In fact, please rework this entire sentence. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) ******Break up the paragraph at "With Traya gone&hellip;" &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) *******Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * "Nihilus and Sion, having been the ones who defeated Traya, took control of the fractured Sith and focused the groups on a common goal: the elimination of the Jedi Order." Did they work together directly, or indirectly? Their goals in eliminating the Jedi Order seem to have been different.
 * 29) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 06:15, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) ***Better.
 * 31) * The subheading "Dark Lord of the Sith" seems out of place considering that his "christening" as such is mentioned paragraphs before and already expanded upon. Change divisions or the subheading title.
 * 32) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:20, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ***Much, much better.
 * 34) *"With Traya overthrown, Nihilus had moved into a position of power. The Trayus Academy continued producing legions of Sith Lords, Assassins and Marauders." Disjunctive. What is the relationship between Nihilus and the Academy? If nothing, the first sentence is an unnecessary redundancy, and the next couple need to be reworked into Nihilus's scheme to show a connection.
 * 35) **Contextified that he attended the academy. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:56, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) ***Okay, but that does not help in this instance. That is too far away to be the explanation. It is a good setup for an explanation, however. Did Nihilus or Sion officially take over the Academy? How was it run? What happened? Otherwise, this is irrelevant information for this location in the article.
 * 37) ****Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) *****Better. Again, however, please double check the source. I do not believe all that information is in TSL. In fact, this one I am pretty certain of. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ******Fixed for this one. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:58, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) * In conjunction with the above: "They spread death throughout the galaxy like a disease&hellip;" Is it described "like a disease" in TSL or the CG? If not, remove it; it borders on OR and is not NPoV.
 * 41) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) * Continuing the conjunction: "What they experienced first hand in his wake allowed them to become stronger near Force-sensitives, and feel their prey through the Force." This does not make sense. Reword, please.
 * 43) **Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *** "&hellip;allowed them to become stronger near other Force-sensitives&hellip;" Contextualize or expand "stronger."
 * 45) *** "&hellip;and feel their targets through the Force across great distances." I think I understand what is being explained, but it is too cumbersome as it stands right now. I am not sure why, but I am having a difficult time with this clause.
 * 46) ****Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:56, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) * "His flagship, the Ravager, roamed the borders of known space." Okay. And? This sentence, aside from beginning a paragraph with a pronoun, has no relation to the paragraph it is heading. Connect and remove the pronoun or eliminate altogether. The Ravager should probably be mentioned and sourced when he pulls ships from Malachor V.
 * 48) **Removed an fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:09, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * "Atris, a Jedi Master, organized a large gathering of Jedi on the Miraluka colony world Katarr. After organizing the event, she then leaked the location." I reworded it to flow better, but it needs to be stated why she leaked the event.
 * 50) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) * "It overpowered them and obliterated the surface of Katarr&hellip;" What is "it?" His voice? His hunger?
 * 52) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * "Nihilus killed much of what remained of the Jedi Order&hellip;" So basically, no one was left? Make sure that the amount implied is actually stated in the sources.
 * 54) **I fixed it by putting the context of it at the beginning of that paragraph. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 16:29, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) ***I will let it pass. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * "&hellip;including the renowned Jedi Zhar Lestin, Dorak and Vandar Tokare." "Renowned" is not a word I would use here. It is PoV-laden and should be tempered. Also, any other figures present that should be noted?
 * 57) **Fixed and no, there's not, its almost like the Golden Globes, and aside from that, I thought three would be a good number as to not disrupt the flow. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:25, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***Sorry, I don't follow. What does the Golden Globes have to do with the Conclave gathering? I don't follow.
 * 59) ****Its just a joke. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) *****Oh, sorry. As people say these days: "My bad." :) &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) * "As he walked on the surface, Darth Nihilus found only a single living thing, an injured woman named Visas Marr." The wording of this implies that she happened to survive; although a couple sentences later states outright that she had been spared. Clarify this.
 * 62) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:06, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) *** In TSL, she remarks that she was spared. This should be addressed here.
 * 64) ****Fixed to say he didn't spare her but she survived and wanted to know why. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) *****Great fix. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) * Throughout the article, Visas Marr is referred to simply as "Visas." This is not a proper encyclopedic naming convention unless there are two with the same last name. I know she is referred to as Visas in TSL, but they are on a first name basis, just like talking to "Canderous," or "Atton," or anyone else. Please change these appearances.
 * 67) **I fixed all that I could find. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 03:19, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) ***I went through and fixed them. The BtS was riddled with them.
 * 69) * "&hellip;and carved out the flesh where her eyes would be had she been human." Well, she is not Human. This analogy seems a bit of a stretch. Please find another way to describe it using a Miraluka-based description rather than that of another species.
 * 70) **Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:30, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * "She eventually became his trusted sole apprentice; she even developed a powerful Force bond with her Master." Choppy, please reword, expand, and make more fluid.
 * 72) **Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:32, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) * Before I forget, the date in the infobox does not come from TSL, as no year is mentioned in the game. Please find a source. There are a few to chose from.
 * 74) **The NEC came through for once. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:28, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *So far, I've read up to "Downfall," but I think I will stop there for now. Good luck.
 * 76) **I will resume after this part has been finished. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 06:35, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ***Still more to do in this part. A good copyedit might help, as well. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:30, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 78) *&mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 18:56, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm horrible with BtS reviewing, so I won't do that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 03:06, 28 December 2008 (UTC)
 * Done. 03:59, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Trask Lucan

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 11:37, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I can't believe I managed to get it to 376 words

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Supporting the proliferation of WEG characters.  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:17, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 00:33, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:45, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:12, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 06:06, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Article requires a divide between introduction and biography. Toprawa and Ralltiir 15:46, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Addressed. I thought it was too short to have the introduction and biography sections, but if you say so... QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:42, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Unless the article is stub, no article will be too short that it shouldn't have an introduction and a biography. Moreover, all Character articles, such as this one, should conform to Wookieepedia's Layout Guide for Character articles, which you will see requires a "Biography" section. Finally, as a reinforcement of the Layout Guide, GAN Rule 7 states that an article must "…have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content." And also, GAN Rule 9 reads that articles must "…have significant information, especially a biography for character articles." Should you indeed find that article writing is for you, I would strongly recommend familiarizing yourself with both the Layout Guide and the GAN rules. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:52, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****if the length of the article supports it. That's what confused me. I thought it didn't support. After re-reading the Layout guide, I understand I was wrong. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 10:03, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) The intro is supposed to be a summary of the biography, so it shouldn't include unique info. I also suspect this could be fleshed out considerably. I.e. you say he was a New Republic agent in the first sentence but don't elaborate on that at all later. Things should be in chronological order. "Lucan was stranded on the planet Glova after the planetary governor Tegist Byrg set him up and confiscated his ship, the Lucan's Nightmare" should start off with a mention that he had a ship then mention he was set up - and elaborate on it if info's availible - and then say he was stranded. As is, detail and elaboration throughout the article is quite hazy. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:05, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **OK, I've reworded the article. The problem is that it is not elaborated on how was he set up, how he obtained the ship, joined the New Republic, why didn't he ask the ambassador for help in the first place, etc. in the source. It just gives the facts. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 18:08, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 9) * You mention that the adventure was part of the anthology series Classic Adventures, but do not list that in the sources.
 * 10) **Forgot that. Fixed now.
 * 11) * As there are two sources containing the character, the article will need to be referenced.
 * 12) **Sourced.
 * 13) * As there are two sources, check both carefully; sometimes extra information was added to adventures when they were reprinted/ anthologised. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 08:59, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **You are right. But it seems that in his case, extra information was excluded from the reprint. I've found the quote and his height in the original source. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 13:58, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***You don't generally need two ref tags to source one item if the information is the same in both sources, so I removed the Classic Adventure refs. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:17, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) Cylka:
 * 17) * Trask Lucan was born on the planet Hyder. His father had been a pilot and it was obvious from very early that Trask would follow in his father's footsteps. At a very young age, he soloed for the first time, and thereafter was always at the controls. After his father was shot down by the Empire after being suspected of smuggling, Trask swore vengeance upon them. He had been fighting ever since. - This paragraph needs to be written in your own words. Please do so.
 * 18) * Trask was an eternal optimist. His talent for acting has allowed him to play the part of the extremely down-on-his-luck ship captain, but he was really quite happy with the way things had gone. His enthusiasm for the New Republic was matched only by his enthusiasm for strong drink. - This needs to be rewritten in your own words as well.
 * 19) **Reworded both a bit. I hope it's enough.
 * 20) * The exact outcome of the battle is unknown, though Byrg was either captured or escaped on the Nightmare and was later followed by smugglers hired by Makina. - This statement is a bit OOU. It would be best to rewrite it in such a way as to leave out the speculation.
 * 21) **It is not speculation. There are two possible outcomes of the battle as stated at the end of the adventure. I reworded the first part though to make it sound less OOU. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 11:22, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) *Once you have reworded these statements, I'll be more than happy to take another look at this article. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:57, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Chack Attack:
 * 24) * "The exact outcome of the battle is unknown, though Byrg was either captured or escaped on the Nightmare and was later followed by smugglers hired by Makina." Avoid phrases like this, containing weasel words like "outcome is unknown."
 * 25) **As I said to Cylka's objection, I can't entirely reword it, since it is stated in the source. I think getting rid of the "outcome is unknown" part helps.
 * 26) *Also, remember that reference tags go right after punctuation, with no space in between. I may have more later.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) **I've got rid of spaces between refs and punctuation. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 11:22, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 29) * Link to his ship in the intro.
 * 30) * Link to Robert Makina in the intro as well.
 * 31) **Both linked.
 * 32) * "He was a gambler, a skilled mechanic and pilot, possessed a heavy blaster pistol and a vacuum suit." - Needs some grammatical fixing. Also, what do his possessions have to do with his personality and traits? Those two items might be better off in the Bio.
 * 33) **Addressed.
 * 34) * Is Byrg a New Republic governor, or is Glova unaffiliated with either the Empire or Republic? Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 23:52, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) **Hopefully clarified. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 15:19, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Redlinks...I'll get rid of them someday (maybe)
 * Done. QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 11:22, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Black Vulkars

 * Nominated by: Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me 22:24, 5 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:My first GAN, hopefully I've managed it.

(3 ACs/0 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:35, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I trust that any further objections will be satisfied. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 20:55, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:14, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * Remove the ref from the intro. Refs are to be used everywhere but the introduction.
 * 3) **Adressed.
 * 4) * Is 3,956 BBY as the date of dissolution specifically stated as such in a source? If not, remove it.
 * 5) **Removed.
 * 6) * "It is quite likely that the remaining Vulkars were killed during Darth Malak's orbital bombardment of the city." - Same thing with my previous objection. There should be no speculation in the article.
 * 7) **Removed.
 * 8) * Remove the links in the quote under "Viewpoint;" instead, explain who is being spoken of after Brejik's name.
 * 9) **Adressed.
 * 10) * List of known members should be sourced, and all names should be linked.
 * 11) **Adressed.
 * 12) * Nothing from the KOTOR handbook, or Labor Pains?
 * 13) **I have the former and there is only a brief mention. I don't have the latter so I don't know. Would it best to put the appearances (KotOR 3, 22 & game) in as sources also?
 * 14) ***If they're already listed as an appearance, there's no need to put them in again as sources. You should probably find someone who has access to Labor Pains and ask them if there is any new information there. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:35, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ****The information from Labor Pains is minimal and redundant with what is already in the article.
 * 16) *****Very well; I'll support once the others' objections are satisfied. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 21:30, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *I'll read through it once these objections are taken care of. Overall, it looks pretty good for your first GAN; keep up the good work. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:31, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) Cylka:
 * 19) * The infobox needs to be sourced correctly. I've done a couple to show you how it needs to be done. Also you can look here for more sourcing information.
 * 20) **Attempted to correct and have now wrecked the info-box without quite knowing how. I can't find why nor do I have enough time right now to fix it. If someone could at least tell me what I've done wrong it would be immensely helpful.
 * 21) ***It seems that you simply forgot to add a "}}" at the end. The infobox is a template and I'm really not good at explaining them but just check for either this problem or you may have accidentally done " ." I make the second mistake all the time, myself. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:42, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****OK, the infobox was fixed by Jaymach and/or NH. I redid the correct format using Benno in the infoxbox as an example, but I'll add it here as well: Notice the    at the end of the reference. This is done only in the infobox.
 * 23) *****All done now I think.
 * 24) * There are too many redundant ref tags in the article and the Bts needs to be sourced. See above link. If you need more help, let me know.
 * 25) **Done
 * 26) ***The Bts was done, but there are still some redundant ref notes. Please check the article again. And please make sure that the url address you are using as a reference, ends up as part of the ref list.
 * 27) ****I've taken out all the redundant refs that I could see. Have I done the url ref properly?
 * 28) *****The first paragraph of the Bts is self sourcing so no ref tag is rerquired. And yes you have. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:50, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * You might want to include something about Mission saying how she swiped the card to the base from a drunk Vulkar - it further reinforces their incompetency.
 * 30) **Done
 * 31) * Also include something about that Twi'lek that used to be a Vulkar before Brejik took over. Revan meets him when they break in. He just gives more support to how the Vulkars changed.
 * 32) **Done
 * 33) * When the Mandalorians invaded the Vulkars were more into looting than anything else, according to Gadon. You should include that.
 * 34) **I had, the second paragraph in 'History'.
 * 35) ***Erk. Sorry missed that.
 * 36) * When you mentioned slavery, maybe put something in about that waitress that Revan meets in their base.
 * 37) **Got it.
 * 38) * There seem to be some linking missing, for example: Bastila's destroyed ship should link to the Endar Spire, mercenaries that Davik hired should be linked. Just check through. You'd be surprised at how many things you can link to on the Wook.
 * 39) **Done.
 * 40) ***A bit was done, but still mercenary remains and some more links having to do with swoop bike, swoop racing, swoop gangs, etc. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 22:26, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Added more.
 * 42) * Add in something to the effect that Davik hired Canderous Ordo and he was good at keeping the Vulkars in line. They were scared of him, as seen during the first time Revan meets/sees Canderous in the Lower city.
 * 43) **Done.
 * 44) *Its looking good. There's not a lot of info out there about the Vulkars so you really need to put in as much detail as possible. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:24, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) The Death Note
 * 46) * The intro could use some expansion.
 * 47) **Expanded.
 * 48) ***You haven't touched it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 17:13, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) ****It should be better now.
 * 50) *****Now it has many short, finite sentences. Try and link the thoughts together. Context is also needed for Revan and Bastila in the intro. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:35, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ******Kindly, Goodwood has taken care of that before I even saw this and I'm happy with what they've done.
 * 52) * Key Members should include Kandon Ark and Benno.
 * 53) **Done
 * 54) * Members section needs to be sourced.
 * 55) **Done as mentioned by Moff Tranner.
 * 56) * "Many of the Vulkars were Kadas'sa'Nikto, although there were also Twi'leks, Humans, Duros, Aqualish, Rodians, Gamorreans, Ithorians and Drovians among their ranks." Should not be part of the History section. Relegate it to the Bts or the Members section.
 * 57) **Done.
 * 58) ***Moved back to main article as per Cavalier One seeing that he is AC.
 * 59) ****Alright, it can work in the Members section as well.
 * 60) * Battle of Taris needs to be linked to in the article. Link to it through orbital bombardment.
 * 61) **Done.
 * 62) * I'm sure there is cut content relating to the Vulkars.
 * 63) **The only cut content I could find is an extra level of their base which I wouldn't think should be in this article, just the base.
 * 64) ***It is relative to the Vulkars therefore you should add it to the Bts in a Cut Content subsection. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:49, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) ****And so it is added.
 * 66) *****And needs to be greatly expanded. As far as I know, you need to steal an engineer's uniform (Saying that initially the Vulkars had uniforms for their engineers), negotiate several robotic guards. Just dig a little deeper into the topic. NaruHina Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 17:13, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) ******I've expanded it although I couldn't find any reference to the engineer's uniform during my trawls on Google, Holowan and Filefront. The latter had a comprehensive description of what the modules cut contained.
 * 68) *******I'm not sure if you can list the file name as it should continue to be writtin from an in-universe perspective. Mention that the door to the elevator is iin the game leading to the armory and the same two droiids are guarding it, as well I know you had to get a uniform and I'll try and find the site again. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 15:23, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) ********Removed the file name part and added in the elevator.
 * 70) *********Its OK now and I'll add the source for the uniform when I find it again. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:10, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * It should mention that many Vulkars fled the Skirmish at the Opener, it could be used to show their incompetence/cowardice, etc.
 * 72) **Done.
 * 73) * In the Key Members section, each character should have a self reflective quote at the head. See Kotor and TotJ Main Character sections to see good examples of this. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:52, 8 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 74) **Done.
 * 75) ***Don't worry about a quote for Benno. He never speaks or appears. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 17:13, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Pretty good, a nostalgic read. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:56, 6 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) * The picture of Brejik is from his time as a Bek. Replace it with one from KotOR. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:44, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Changed.
 * 3) * In the Cut Content section: "The player had to retrieve the keycard from a Vulkar who would trade the card in return for some spice instead of from one of the members in the barracks by killing them." This makes no sense, please rephrase. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 14:44, 20 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Rephrased.
 * 5) *You need context on why Bastila was not attacking back, how she was being kept. (The Neural disruptor)
 * 6) **Done
 * 7) *** "Bastila stated afterwards to Revan that she could have freed herself despite being restrained by a neural disruptor placed on her by the Vulkars." That she was restrained should be at the beginning of the scene, there is no mention that she was restrained at all as I can see until that point.
 * 8) ****Reordered and reworded.
 * 9) * The History needs subsections for the history befroe Revan, during Revan, and the swoop race.
 * 10) **Split appropriately.
 * 11) * "Furious at losing her, Brejik reported that Revan cheated in using a prototype accelerator in his swoop, but the head of the swoop race refused to acknowledge the move and said that the tradition was, once something was anted up it could not be returned once the race was over and that the decision could not be changed. The Vulkars then attacked Revan, but were killed by him and Shan after the latter had managed to break free of her restraint." So...Bastila killed them while restrained by a neural disruptor? Contextify her escape. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 15:10, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **"...and Shan after the latter had managed to break free of her restraint." This clearly states that Bastila (the "latter" of the two [her and Revan]) killed the Vulkars after she had broken free of her restraint. I've put in an explanation of her actual 'breaking free of the restraint' if that is what you were trying to get at. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me  20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Oh, sorry, I didn't see that in the quote. In that case, how did she help Revan with her bear hands? Expand her escape more. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]]
 * 14) ****Mmm, vibroswords...Done Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk  21:56, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) *****She killed the guard in the game, I don't remember how or I would fix it myself but that should be extrapolated. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 22:39, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ******According to this YT video (at ~2.50, game unmodified) she escaped after freeing herself from the restraint by Force pulling the guard into her cage hence opening it then kicking the guard to the ground and stealing his vibrosword. That info has been added in. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 10:48, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) ********Good, I'll do my final review in the coming days. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:23, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 19) * Context is needed of who Benno, Brejik and the Hidden Beks are in the intro.
 * 20) **Done
 * 21) * One known gang incident involved some Vulkars, including Wargo and Frazznik, apprehending Zayne Carrick and Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph in 3,964 BBY, in hopes of claiming the bounty for the two fugitives, but Gryph proved able to outsmart the Vulkars and escape while the Vulkars tried to rob nearby Wookiees after believing Hierogryph's claim that the Wookiees had stashes of spice. - Context is needed on who Zayne and Gryph are, and why they have a bounty on their heads in the first place.
 * 22) **Done
 * 23) * You mention the Sith occupation, but give no mention of the end of the Mandalorian occupation, or the reasons for the Sith occupation.
 * 24) **Added info about the end of the Mandalorian occupation. Sith to come.
 * 25) ***And in go the Sith.
 * 26) * Context is needed on who Bastila Shan is.
 * 27) **Done
 * 28) * And Calo Nord.
 * 29) **And done
 * 30) * No mention of Revan breaking into the Vulkar base and retrieving the prototype? Or the fact that the Vulkar's intended to use it themselves in the race? Or that they offered Revan a deal to kill Thek?
 * 31) **Done
 * 32) * In fact, information is needed on the Vulkar Base itself - location, usage, etc.
 * 33) **Information supplied.
 * 34) * The Known Members section should be changed from a bulleted list to prose.
 * 35) ** You sure? Most organization articles I've seen have it as a list.
 * 36) ***Made into prose.
 * 37) * The information in the BTS regarding the species in the gang should be placed in the main article.
 * 38) **Moved back.
 * 39) * should be used in the article when dealing with the Kotor game storyline. -  Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:58, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) **Done
 * 41) Toprawa's Merciless Hammer:
 * 42) * The list of members is not so good. Please turn it into prose. The section immediately following it is a nice example.
 * 43) **Now prose.
 * 44) * Secondly, if you're going to put this up for review, I'd recommend removing the In-use tag to avoid any confusion. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:03, 19 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) **Sorry, forgot I left it in.
 * 46) Cylka's second look:
 * 47) * One known gang incident involved some Vulkars, including Wargo and Frazznik, apprehending the Jedi Padawan, Zayne Carrick and his Snivvian companion Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph in 3,964 BBY in hopes of claiming the bounty on the two fugitives for their alledged involvement in the Padawan Massacre of Taris, but Gryph proved able to outsmart the Vulkars and escape while the Vulkars tried to rob nearby Wookiees after believing Hierogryph's claim that the Wookiees had stashes of spice. - This sentence is a bit long. Please break it up.
 * 48) **Goodwood has already done that it would seem. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me  20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) * When the Mandalorian occupation ended at the Second Battle of Taris the Black Vulkars had a changing of leadership when a former member of the Hidden Beks, Brejik, joined the opposing gang. - This sentence implies that Brejik took over the Vulkars as a result of and right after the Mandalorian occupation. We really don't know exactly when he took over and I'm not sure he took over right away. Please rewrite this sentence to reflect that.
 * 50) **Again it would seem Goodwood has done that. Apparently Brejik took over in 3,961 BBY so I've included that. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me  20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 51) ***I check the source for the 3,961 BBY date and it didn't support this date, so I took it out of the article and changed the article for the date as well. There are times when you may find misleading sourcing on the Wook, so it's always a good idea to check any references yourself or ask another member if you don't have access to the material. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 18:14, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * It was the Vulkars who captured Bastila Shan after her ship was destroyed over Taris by the Sith during the Battle of Taris. This was one of the main reasons for the Sith occupation and quarantine, to prevent Shan from escaping. The Sith occupation had been enacted earlier so that the Sith could gain the upper hand in the Outer Rim against the Republic. - From what I understand, the Sith quarantine was enacted because of Shan, not earlier. I may be wrong, but please look this paragraph over and make any necessary changes.
 * 53) **And again, Goodwood has sorted this. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me 20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * In the Known Members section I would like to see each of the species referenced and I think a bit more information about Frazznik and Wargo should be added. I know that they are mentioned in the History section, but maybe something more could be done to flesh them out.
 * 55) **The members have all been sourced (mostly to KotOR) with a rewrite of that sub-section. Gammoreans and Ithorians were removed because I have all the appearances (minus Labor Pains with its very minor mention) and they don't appear. Personally I think there is enough info on Wargo and Frazznik earlier in the article to warrant not needing to repeat it again in the Known Members section.
 * 56) ***Well, they were shanghaied by the Mandalorians and ended up on Jebble. Maybe you could fit that in somewhere, just to give them some closure in the articles. Or you could mention in general that some Vulkars were taken by the Mandalorians.
 * 57) ****(I swear I put this in when I edited the article...) Added in mention of their recruitment into Mandalorians. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Talk 17:04, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * And please double check the linking issues again. As I understand it, in articles each linkable subject should have one link each in the intro, main body, image caption, and infobox. I am seeing double linkage again throughout the article.
 * 59) **Okay, they are sorted properly now. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me 20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) * In the Bts, the first paragraph is in present tense and the cut content in past. Please change one or the other so that both will be in the same tense.
 * 61) **Though generally all text should be past tense, the tone of the first paragraph, fleshing out the results of choices the player can make, can be written in present tense. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 02:48, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) ***Yes, that is correct. However, my point is that I feel that the Bts would benefit from having both paragraphs written in the same tense, past or present. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 19:05, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Very well, I suggest writing the first paragraph in past tense because the second actually has to be written in past tense because the coices cannot be made in-game therefore it cannot be written in present tense. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:58, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) *****I agree that the second must be in past tense but it makes logical sense to leave the first one in present for those choices can still be made by a player when they reach that point in the game. To be grammatically correct (in proper, British English at least) the paragraph need be written in the past tense when it is no longer possible to make those choices at all. The cut content that would have been included was not and it is not possible for the game released in 2001 to have the content in it without modifying it from its original, shipped state so it is put in past tense. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me  20:16, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) ******Since this is not a policy issue, but one of preference, I'm not going to push the issue. With a bit of effort it is possible to rewrite the statements to make sense in either past or present tense. However, I do want to point out, for future reference, that on Wookieepedia, we use American english.
 * 66) *******After looking at other non-canon choices in other KotOR articles it seems that most are in present tense so I shall leave it so in this. I am aware of the standard use of American English here but thank you for reminding. Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]] Transmit words at me 09:58, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 67) *Please address these issues and I will look the article over again. I would also like to make a suggestion. Many members here on Wookieepedia ask other members for copy-editing and other opinions/help with their articles. I think that it would be to your benefit to do so as well since you are a fairly new member and this is your first GAN. It is what I did not that long ago and I found it to be tremendously helpful. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 02:32, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) Death Note: The Second Coming
 * 69) *"When the reprogrammed former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who had been trapped on Taris by the Sith quarantine, arrived in the Lower City, he sided with the Hidden Beks, believing that they could help him to find and free the Jedi Padawan Bastila Shan, who was captured by the Vulkars after crash landing in the Undercity of Taris." This is a long run-on sentence. Break it up.
 * 70) *"The gang was, for all intents and purposes, dismantled..." This is a bit choppy and awkward. Reword.
 * 71) *"Gryph convinced the Vulkars to attempt to rob a nearby group of Wookiees, claiming that they had stashes of spice." And... what happened because of it?
 * 72) *What is the Invasion of Taris? Clairify.
 * 73) *"Brejik, along with numerous disgruntled Beks," I believe Brejik acted alone in leaving the Beks.
 * 74) **Have fun. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:51, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Darth Reave

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 21:39, 13 January 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: No Sith lightning from one of Krayt's duns? WHAT?!? Ahh, well. Another one of my infamous cell-phone butters&hellip;enjoy!

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 04:43, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 05:20, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) DC 17:54, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:23, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) and he died as they did being cut down as mindless creatures. Reword. I don't like the flow.  01:32, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed. Plesure doing business with you, Soresu. Let me know if that is satisfactory. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:44, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **The pleasure is all mine. May our next encounter be just as productive. : P 04:43, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Ackbar:
 * 5) * His getting the plague should be stated before Maladi finds out. And the rakghouls should probably be identified earlier, even if Reave didn't know the name of them. Saying the creatures or whatever seems a bit unnecessary.
 * 6) **Addressed.
 * 7) * Info exclusive to intro: "whose healing powers Krayt wanted to exploit to rid himself of his Yuuzhan Vong biot infestation."
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * "He was also an able military commander" &mdash; I don't think that's really supported at all. There are plenty of instances, in real life and Star Wars, of people being in charge of a significant amounts of troops but not being competent military commanders. I'm not sure "entire garrison" really means much, anyway, cause "garrison" doesn't really designate a particular size, but a role. Lastly, did the garrison really cover the entire planet?
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "His Sith name is derived from the English word "reave," which means "to plunder"." This should be changed to merely state the meaning of "Reave," as we don't definitively know that's where the name came from.
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) **Possibly more to come later. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 11:17, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) The Epic Return of DC
 * 15) * When you first mention and link Celeste Morne, you mention her as just a female Jedi, then you go right into using her name later in the article. This confuses the reader, so change the link to her article, provide context, and change the sentence and the ones around it so it makes sense.
 * 16) **Addressed.
 * 17) * "In the English language, the word "reave" means "to plunder"." This should be sourced.
 * 18) **Addressed.
 * 19) *That is all. Maybe the return wasn't so epic after all. :P DC 02:41, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Thanks for the review, DC. Please let me know if more is required. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:09, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *** One more thing: It isn't really an objection, more or less of a question. Why did you put Sith Magic in italics? DC 17:18, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Forgot to change that. It's gone now, and thanks for pointing that out, DC. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:08, 18 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) Falcon Punch:
 * 24) * "It was there that he encountered the object of Darth Krayt's desire, a former Jedi Padawan named Cade Skywalker, whose healing powers Krayt wanted to exploit to rid himself of his Yuuzhan Vong biot infestation." Can you reword this? The "object of Krayt's desire" bit comes across really...strange.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:31, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Lol, addressed. Thanks for reviewing Chack. If more is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 16:19, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) Cylka:
 * 27) *Strong in the dark side of the Force, Reave was also able to command telekinesis, something which he used to repel the rakghouls that had swarmed him. - Maybe this could be reworded a bit. It makes it sound as if one needs to be dark sided to use telekinesis.
 * 28) *A good read, Tommy. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 07:14, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Close to a G, but close only counts in horseshoes. Now over a G. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 21:39, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Are there no better quotes from him? The leading one is the personification of Epic Meh. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:09, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * No, unfortunately there aren't any better ones. Believe me, I'm not thrilled about the lead quote either. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:09, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Dar Keyis

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 14:13, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Cav's back on the GA page, and he's brought a non-DarkStryder nom with him!

(2 ACs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:00, 16 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 19:50, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 22:43, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) You should mention that he Rogue Ten somewhere in the bio. I don't think succession boxes should convey new info.  04:48, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done.
 * 3) Graestan the Merciless:
 * 4) * Ditto Soresu, and I'd say in the intro, as well.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * A little more context for the campaign and missions in the intro, please.
 * 7) **Added.
 * 8) * Context for the campaign in the bio, as well. Vuultin isn't initially described as a city on Brentaal IV, even.
 * 9) **Added some.
 * 10) * Some explanation on the presence of Independence&mdash;the mention of it and Ackbar is a bit out of the blue.
 * 11) **Mentioned Ackbar earlier in the article, provided context for Independence.
 * 12) * Even with the "as evidenced" part, "an excellent pilot" on its own is POVish.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * Describe his mention in Family Ties in the BtS.
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) * Image:Dar keyis.jpg has visible comic frame that needs to be cropped out.
 * 17) **I've asked Redemption for a rescan of the image; I tried myself, but I couldn't get the qaulity right.
 * 18) ***No need for a re-scan, per se; only that you reupload the image, having cut off that sliver at the bottom. Graestan ( Talk ) 03:02, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Should be good now. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:41, 21 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Graestan ( Talk ) 17:56, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Two things:
 * 1) Internal links the Battle of Brentaal IV article are a little off at the moment, but will align themselves once I post my rewrite of that article in a day or two.
 * 2) The references are screwed up - please see Forum:CT:Amending the Manual of Style to counter a problem with reference tag sourcing for the reason. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 14:13, 16 January 2009 (UTC)

Bek-Vulkar War

 * Nominated by: Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 01:08, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Been sitting on this one a looooooooooong time. Working out the kinks before the FAN page.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 11:51, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:48, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 00:32, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Cylka:
 * 2) * In the introduction, I would add in that the Endar Spire was destroyed in orbit over Taris, that is why Revan and Carth were trapped there. I would also mention that Bastila had been on the ship as well.
 * 3) **Added.
 * 4) * It was Thek who suggested to Revan that he needed to win the Season Opener to free Bastila and gave him the means to win. I think it would be good to explain their bargain a bit more when it is first alluded to in the Revan's involvement sub-section.
 * 5) **This necessitated a decent amount of restructuring, however it was for the better. Thanks for pointing this out.
 * 6) * Maybe you should include why Zaerdra objected to Mission helping Revan, just to give a little context.
 * 7) **Done.
 * 8) * A bit more context is needed on the blockade that Revan et al. needed to esacape. Maybe a mention that the Sith not only quarantined the planet, but put in place an orbital blockade as well.
 * 9) **Contextualized.
 * 10) *A good read about an overlooked subject. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 04:47, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thank you very much.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 05:16, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) The Life Note
 * 13) * The picture of Brejik is from his time as a Bek, please replace it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:41, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu
 * 15) * The Jedi Shan? Could we just use Shan? Jedi Shan sounds a bit... off. No-one says the Jedi Windu or the Jedi Kenobi.
 * 16) **Fixed. Yeah, that does sound a bit peaky.
 * 17) * This scuffle resulted in the death of Brejik and an end to the war. Do we know for a fact that the death of Brejik ended the war? Same goes for that last sentence in 'The Season Opener'.
 * 18) **Elaborated in both instances; the gang is essentially beheaded, and the Beks gain a lot of support due to their sponsorship of the winning rider.
 * 19) * I don't really see the relevance of the first paragraph in 'Origins' beyond the first sentence. It basically covers the Taris Resistance and invasion of Taris, but that's not really related to the subject of the Bek-Vulkar War.
 * 20) **Both paragraphs have been reworked to, hopefully, give a bit more relevance.
 * 21) * The amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who had been reprogrammed by the Council. Reprogrammed? I know what you mean, but it sounds too droid-like.
 * 22) **Changed to "memory modified."
 * 23) * A also think the first paragraph in 'Revan's involvement' could be trimmed down a little. You really only need to give an outline of why he was on Taris and how he found the Beks, not a full blown biography.
 * 24) **The only "biography" of Revan is this: "The amnesiac former Dark Lord of the Sith, Revan, who had had his memory modified by the Council of the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine, was aboard the vessel as part of the overall plan set by the Jedi Order to find and destroy the Star Forge, the source of materiel for the Sith war effort." Other than that, I've trimmed as much as possible&mdash;which wasn't much&mdash;from that paragraph.
 * 25) * I would consider Revan to be a key Bek figure, so it would be nice you could give gim an entry there.
 * 26) **Not sure I could agree, but nevertheless, one has been added.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:42, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ***He did take out a large number of Vulkars, steal the prototype accelerator and win the opener, effectively winning the war for the Beks, which is why I consider him a key figure. 00:32, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *That seems to be everything, I'm sure the people over at FA will pick up on anything we missed. 05:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) Toprawa:
 * 30) * I find both of the "Key figures" sections to be really unnecessary weight to this article. They're just pointless biographical summaries that offer little to the primary concentration of the article: the war. Please cut these out and incorporate any vital information into more relevants sections. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:11, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **The key figures section is very necesary because it outlines who the leaders of the group are. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:43, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Aside from the fact that I'm not turning this into a post-mortem Goodwood debate where he directs this argument vicariously from behind the scenes, and in sole response to Cylka, per IRC, there is already a "Combatants" section. Please combine these two and cut out the unnecessary bulk. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:27, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Done. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 21:38, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm not really going to object to this, but I think that most of the quotes should be changed. They should be by the person in qustion and about the person in question if possible. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:41, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm not sure I understand this. Why should the quote be by the individual in question? I was under the impression that if the quote was about the individual in question, that was acceptable as well. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 23:24, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Because any quote that uses the person's name is techincally about them and its a bit of a stylistic choice, but generally the best quotes characters about the character are said by the character. Tchnically you could use "I love you Revan" as his quote but you wouldn't because he says much better stuff himself. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 00:03, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * There's nothing in the MoS/LG/etc. and no real precedent for preferring one over another&mdash;just go with whatever quote is the most illustrative. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:11, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * In light of recent events, I will be taking over the task of handling any objections to this nomination. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 06:03, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Darth Maleval

 * Nominated by:  Grunny  (Talk) 07:21, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Second Quarren Sith :)

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 00:33, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 16:29, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * The intro looks like it could be merged into one paragraph.
 * 3) **Merged :).  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) * Second paragraph of the Bio section reads like it's written from Trask's POV. Please fix.
 * 5) **How's that? :)  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Hearing of this, Lord Maleval had learned that Lieutenant Cassel had a brother in the 908th and approached him about his decision." This is a tad confusing; in what order did Baleval learn of the proposal and of Cassel's brother?
 * 7) **Woops that is confusing. Fixed.  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) * A lot of the Bio section seems more focused on Joker Squad, and not Maleval himself.
 * 9) **How's this? I tried to reword it to focus more on Maleval without losing context of the events that happened.  Grunny  (Talk) 13:52, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Much better, thank you.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:11, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *TIMMMMBERRRR!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 08:07, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) Before he could execute Karr, however, Maleval was shot from behind by Anson Trask. The fact that he was not executed would mean that he was alive, but later on, you say his death was covered up: The death of Darth Maleval was covered up in Joker Squad's report to their superiors, stating that Darth Maleval had been killed in battle, and that Hondo Karr was vaporized in a blast that took out fellow Joker Squad trooper Gistang. He can't have survived and had his death covered up at the same time, can he?  07:18, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Woops, I removed that when addressing Goodwood's objections. Fixed. :-)  Grunny  (Talk) 09:53, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Uncle Murda:
 * 15) * For your mentions of Roan Fel, you call him the Emperor. Yet, you also speak of Darth Krayt's Sith Empire. This leads me to wonder who is the current Emperor? Please clarify, using several words to depict how Fel was still regarded as the Emperor if Krayt held the Empire.
 * 16) **Is this enough?  Grunny  (Talk) 15:20, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) *This is fun. You make me want to start a TOTJ-style Legacy run. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:08, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Haha well join up :-). Cheers Tommy :).  Grunny  (Talk) 15:20, 25 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Barkhesh

 * Nominated by: Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:32, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I really need to stop the battle articles ...

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Why should you?--Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:41, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Yes, they are quite interesting. 23:01, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 09:13, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) "The supplies donated by the Barkhesh natives would assist the Alliance in recovering supplies that were either left behind, lost or destroyed during the evacuation of Yavin Base following the destruction of the Death Star." This sentence is a tad confusing, please reword. Other than that, a fine article.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 21:30, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **I've simplified it some. Hopefully, it is ok now. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:11, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Is it mentioned in Rogue Squadron: Official Nintendo Player's Guide? --Eyrezer 23:47, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **I would assume so, but I have no access to that source. I have listed it in the Sources section, however, as it seems reasonable that the level is covered by the guide. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 10:11, 27 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Some of the images are kind of low quality - if anyone could provide better ones, I'd be appreciative. - Cavalier One [[Image:FarStar Logo.jpg|20px]]( Squadron channel ) 11:35, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Switch

 * Nominated by: Jinzler 23:20, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 8t88 was the only droid information broker

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Anyone else want to review this? 04:51, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) —Xwing328 (Talk) 22:52, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Subsection the Biography.  23:31, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done --Jinzler 22:36, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * There are only two quotes because they are the only two relevant to the article that exist --Jinzler 23:20, 22 January 2009 (UTC)
 * My nomination comment was meant to say 8t88 WASN'T the only droid information broker --Jinzler 22:36, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Duel in the Chancellor's Office

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: RGAN #2

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 16:57, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11:51, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Too many images. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:52, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Fixed? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Yep. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:38, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin are not linked in the Prelude, they linked later instead. An article needs to be linked when it first appears in the main body. I've only noticed those three, but check the other links, I could've missed some.  QuiGonJinn Be mindful of the Living Force...[[Image:Quigonheadshot.jpg|16px]] 17:54, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Aftermath section? DC 03:40, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *How in the world did I forget that? Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:27, 24 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) Could you start the article with: The Duel in the Chancellor's office was a lightsaber duel fought in the Chancellor's Suite in 19 BBY. The duel began when...? Otherwise you're missing time and event.  04:47, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 05:30, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Just to clairify, everything that does not have a ref tag in the Bts is self-sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 01:02, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

Dev

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:40, 25 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: What part of "just fly through the gates" didn't you understand?

(1 ACs/1 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) Clean as a whistle.  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:14, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:46, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Grunny  (Talk) 16:15, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 04:54, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Yes, I know, I modified the count. :) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:51, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) What was Operation Strike Fear? Clairify.  NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:04, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:05, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Atrivis Day group

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 00:34, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Will get to the redlinks in the coming days

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  14:15, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 06:09, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) That's...--Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Shouldn't the article say that the group was destroyed under , with a BtS note about it being a secondary objective?  22:34, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *It's what Cav did for the Battle of Barkhesh. 22:35, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **The battle itself doesn't appear in the game, only a simulation of it. So even if you destroy it in the game, it has no bearing on what happened in the original battle. Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:38, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Point taken. 06:09, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Atrivis Day 1

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 20:48, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Read one, vote for the rest...

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:12, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ...one...--Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Atrivis Day 2

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 20:48, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Read one, vote for the rest...

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:12, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ...of...--Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Atrivis Day 3

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 20:48, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Read one, vote for the rest...

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:12, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ...those...--Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Atrivis Day 4

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 20:48, 26 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Read one, vote for the rest...

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well, I read them all. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:12, 27 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) ...days.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:57, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Operation: Knightfall

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 04:29, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I shall say once again and for the final time, let no man, woman, or child ever be subjected to this article again.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:20, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Looks good. 12:54, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I'm a bit worried about the sourcing in this article. For example the last paragraph in the "Operation: Nightfall" section is almost all sourced to the Courtship of Princess Leia, which is obviously not right. Everything needs to be sourced to the source it came from. The Jerec stuff has nothing to do with Operation: Nightfall, that didn't happen until he returned from the Unknown Regions some time later. Bene and Whie are mentioned in the penultimate paragraph in the said section and it's all sourced to the RotS game, but according to their articles neither of them appear in the game, so that needs to be checked out. "grandfather's (Anakin Skywalker)" reads awkwardly. I'd try "the actions of Anakin Skywalker, his grandfather" or somesuch. In the "Jedi Casualties," why are the Jedi listed by their rank in the GAR and not their Jedi rank? They didn't die in their capacity as commanders so it's not relevant, and the legitimacy of those ranks at that time has certainly to be in question. Nothing from Ahakista Gambit? Source list needs to be ordered by release date. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:35, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've fixed Bene and Whie, (Anakin Skywalker), and Jerec. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:32, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *I've also fixed the source list and the rank issues. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Fixed the sourcing. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 09:22, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Done. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 10:07, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *I'm not sure the sentence about "some Jedi turning to the dark side" should stay, unless it definitely refers to during O:N and not just during the purge in general. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) According to Jedi Twilight, Jax Pavan and Even Piell were present during the attack, but survived by fleeing the temple. You should mention this --Jinzler 21:16, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *Added. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 21:40, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Trey Callum

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:55, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Echo Station 3-T-8. We've spotted Imperial walkers.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Just a few more words, and this will be off to the FAN page. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 01:36, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:20, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 11:32, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 2) * Galactic Empire should be mentioned as one of his affiliations in the infobox. Grand Moff Tranner [[Image:Imperial Department of Military Research.svg|20px]] (Comlink) 00:47, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Darth Kruhl

 * Nominated by: —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 06:04, 30 January 2009 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: Here's another one.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Grunny  (Talk) 03:35, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Grunndawg :P
 * 2) * For clarity, explicitly state that he was a member of the One Sith in intro.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * "However, Kruhl's offer was rejected by Rikkar-du, and the Codru-Ji clan leader urged his people to unite against the Sith Empire." Why did Rikar-du decline the offer?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * Source "Force lightning and telekinesis, another set of abilities shared among members of Darth Krayt's One Sith." to instances other members of the One Sith using Force lightning and telekinesis.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Do the same for "coral-like hilts carried by most of his One Sith brethren,".
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * Mention that Fel did not summon his Knights to his defense as he believed as a Knight himself he was a match for Kruhl.
 * 11) **Addressed.
 * 12) *Another nice one Tommy :).  Grunny  (Talk) 06:53, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Grunny. Please advise if more is required. —Tommy [[Image:Dark Side Master TotG.jpg|17px]] ( Nine two eight one ) 13:13, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) shot Kruhl in the stomach, and killed him. 'And' would imply that killing him was separate action. If so, please elaborate on how he died. If the shot was fatal, then I would suggest changing it to shot Kruhl in the stomach, killing him. 22:39, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Comments