Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of Falleen (Clone Wars)


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Battle of Falleen (Clone Wars)

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 05:19, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Prelude to and second-to-last of CloneProject Droid Retrieval. Somewhere around 750 words.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) One more for WookieeProject TCW. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:50, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Good job yet again. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 21:41, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice! --Eyrezer 07:20, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:52, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 09:41, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * "But" is repetitive in the intro.
 * 3) * Nitpicking here. Taking a detour from his course to Bothawui, and set his sights on capturing the planet of Falleen, seem a little contradictory. The first seems to imply that he was forced into attacking Falleen, bt the second seems like a solid decision on Grievous' part.
 * 4) * This one's also rather nitpicky. but as they engaged the lightsaber-wielding Dark Acolyte in combat, Ventress soon gained the upper hand. "As they" refers to the present while "soon" implies at least some events in the future. Please reword.
 * 5) **Addressed, thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 20:20, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) The Grand Master
 * 7) * "The King" becomes repetitive in the intro. Could you put a synonym in for one of them? Maybe even just call him by his species as "the Falleen", or something similar.
 * 8) **Addressed.
 * 9) * "...to coordinate several attacks on Republic forces on three separate fronts." Does "several" in this case refer to the "three"? If so, then this is redundant.
 * 10) **Addressed.
 * 11) * "...the King arrived and prepared to kill Ventress." It sounds to me like he was already "prepared" to kill her. Could this be reworded?
 * 12) **It's simply a less colloquial form of the fact that he "got ready" or was "about" to kill her. Whether or not he "was prepared" to kill her is irrelevant. If I change it to that he "targeted" Ventress, it's not going to be clear that the King had the intent of killing her.
 * 13) * I was going to change the quote in the Aftermath section to the Dialogue template, but I figured I should check here first to make sure there's not a reason for it to be a quote template instead. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 13:51, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **I personally don't like using quotes with the Dialogue template so that they turn out like a script. I do it when it's necessary to distinguish between speakers, like when there's more than two, but I don't see why it needs to be used here.  CC7567  (talk) 21:06, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ***Ok, no problem. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 21:41, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Comments