Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle near the Kaliida Nebula


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Battle near the Kaliida Nebula

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 03:38, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The (not-so-thrilling) conclusion to CloneProject Malevolence Crisis.

(3 ACs/6 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) Per brief IRC review. Kilson Likes PIE 23:22, 25 May 09 (UTC)
 * 2) THE SHOT HEARD ROUND THE GALAXY: A RIVETING TALE OF ADVENTURE AND ROMANCE SET IN THE HARROWING MONTHS OF THE EARLY-MID CLONE WARS.  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:34, 25 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Just finished reading it. Great job!&mdash;Darthtyler (Talk) 16:04, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 19:24, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Good work, as always. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 23:58, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 11:14, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:47, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) -- Darth tom Imperial Emblem.svg (Imperial Intelligence)  11:26, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:54, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) From the Council Chambers:
 * 2) * The first sentence/paragraph in the "prelude" section is a bit of a run-on; please break it up some.
 * 3) **I realize this, but I left it that way because I believe that if the sentences are split up, they will be too choppy and will need further details to smooth it out, which will detract from the article's subject of the battle itself. I can try if you still want, but I'm not sure what I can do to still keep it focused on the battle.
 * 4) ***Well, after thinking it over some, you might better off just deleting the second part of the sentence entirely ("and Skywalker was accompanied by his Padawan, Jedi Commander Ahsoka Tano, as well as High Jedi General Plo Koon.") and waiting until the "Aftermath" section to bring Koon and Tano up, since they're really only relevant to that section. That would also solve the run-on. Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 18:48, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****I wasn't comfortable with saying that, as it was rather confusing without setup, but I tried to word it better.  CC7567  (talk) 19:07, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Unduli was later able to rout the Confederate reinforcements." I have no problem with the assumption that she won the battle (per the explanation in the reference). However, "rout" is defined as "to defeat decisively". We don't know how easily she defeated them AFAIK, so "rout" seems a step into OR to me; please reword.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) *Great job. Master JonathanJedi Council Chambers 06:50, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **Thanks.  CC7567  (talk) 07:19, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Grand Master
 * 11) * Hey CC, sorry for the post-vote objection, but the reason I changed "Confederate" was because you used it twice so close to each other, which seemed a little redundant. I think that one of them (it doesn't really matter which one) needs to be changed to help it flow better. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 02:08, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) **I have to respectfully disagree with you on this one. I find that consistency is better throughout the article; passing over variety, I believe that interchanging between "Confederate" and "Separatist" is too confusing. I understand that it may help the leading quote, but I feel that it's fine as it is.  CC7567  (talk) 02:25, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Ok, not a big problem. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jujiggum ) 03:27, 27 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) Back from a short break
 * 15) * Confederacy/Confederate gets a little bit repetitive after a while. Could you replace some with Separatist instead?
 * 16) **Please see above; I understand that it's a bit redundant, but I dislike doing so because I personally feel it's too confusing.
 * 17) ***Ahh... I see. Apologies for my lack of reading the earlier objections. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:47, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) *Great work. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:12, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * No, nothing else is known, as far as I’m concerned. And there aren't any images, as the battle didn't actually appear; it was only mentioned. Rather sad, no?  CC7567  (talk) 03:38, 25 May 2009 (UTC)