Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;two of which must be AgriCorps votes&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Lens Reekeene

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:27, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Rebel General to be used as a NPC in a RPG Campaign, and part of my own mini-project. Currently 1200 words, probably I'll try for a FAN later.

(2 ACs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  CC7567  (talk) 18:49, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Go for the FAN. -- 1358  (Talk) 06:25, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 16:37, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Context on "Flankers"
 * 3) **Added; OS says little about that.
 * 4) * In the intro, you vaguely explained how he became a prison of the Empire, but in the bio, it's not even mentioned. "Sartran was disbanded by the Galactic Empire and the mercenaries employed by the company were imprisoned under false charges of conspiracy. While in prison," The jump from "being disbanded by the Empire" to being in prison is rough.
 * 5) **Better?
 * 6) * "While in prison, Lens met engineer Mikka Reekeene, also a former employee of Sartran. Lens and Mikka Reekeene got married in jail." This sounds like Mikka was also in prison for whatever reason. Was he an engineer in prison or a worker in that prison?
 * 7) **You are right. Better?
 * 8) * Try to add subsections within the bio. It will be more, concisely organized and well formatted.
 * 9) **Better?
 * 10) ***Much; also, is their any relevant quotes? If not, then it's fine.
 * 11) * If Lens was free in 11 BBY, how could she have joined the Rebellion? It wasn't established until 2 BBY.
 * 12) **Right. Typo in my notes, corrected: She was released in 3 BBY and soon after that (apparently some months), she joined the Rebellion.
 * 13) *More to come. Also, please watch your linking. I'll look through the article once more.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:32, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **More linking, and thank you for your review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:01, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) The Grand Master
 * 16) * Seeing some grammar issues throughout the article. This is getting old.
 * 17) **Try. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:34, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Better, but still seeing several mistakes; a couple examples: "Circa 0 ABY, Reekeene also led the Roughnecks in "Operation Retribution," which simultaneously damaged assets of the Empire, while the Alliance suffered the minimum damage." "Also around this time, General Reekeene joined her husband, Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro onboard their mobile headquarters&hellip" (<--comma usage; this currently grammatically implies that Lazith'chika and Rebel Lieutenant Am Serro were Reekeene's husband.) Also, please see my note below on the linking; it applies here as well. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Might be better. I hope I could find every one. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:24, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****You only fixed the one example I left on your talk page. Some wording issues remain. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ******General overwrite and complete copy-edit, even if those things rarely work. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Why is there a birth date given in the infobox but not in the intro and bio?
 * 23) **Added.
 * 24) * Why is there no dating of events in the intro?
 * 25) **Added.
 * 26) * "an Irregular group of Rebel soldiers." This makes it sound as if the soldiers themselves were irregular, i.e. they were strange beings. Please reword so that you actually say what an "Irregular" means in this case.
 * 27) **Changed.
 * 28) * Why is the quote given outside of any section? Currently, the section which you have the quote has no prose. Please move it.
 * 29) **Changed.
 * 30) * Does the OS say why Sartran was disbanded, or why the mercs were imprisoned under false charges?
 * 31) **Added.
 * 32) * "Later, Mikka Reekeene was released from jail, because of a management mistake." This grammatically says that it was a mistake for him to be released. Is that true?
 * 33) **Yes. Reworded.
 * 34) * "and her less political husband followed her." What exactly do you mean by "less political," and by "followed her" do you mean that he, too, joined the Alliance? This isn't very clear.
 * 35) **Changed.
 * 36) * 2nd paragraph of "origins" section needs to be reworded more to follow Lens' POV. The first couple sentences sound like the article's suddenly switched to one about Mikka.
 * 37) **Changed.
 * 38) * Page for the local moff? If there is none, please create and link.
 * 39) **Added.
 * 40) * Page for Green Squad's mission to Abonshee?
 * 41) **Stubbed.
 * 42) ***Quick question&mdash;was the mission successful, or is this known? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * "None of the other officers objected anything to her." This doesn't make snese.
 * 45) **Removed.
 * 46) * Linking mistakes throughout. Please make sure not only that everything is linked, but also that everything is linked cleanly and properly.
 * 47) **I think I've found what you mean. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:27, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ***Still seeing some mistakes, inlcuding instances of underlinking. (Another hint for proper linking: refuelling is incorrect) Remember, when possible, please try to link things in the article if you can, as opposed to linking them in quotes; for instance, I'm sure you can work at least Alliance Intelligence and Godking into the article prose, even if you just pipelink. Also why do you have "limit of missions" linked to the page "23rd?" This makes absolutely no sense, especially sense you just got done saying that the limit of missions was 20. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ****Underlinking: Try.
 * 50) *****You have not added any links other than the ones that were in the quotes. This remains. Again&mdash;normally this would fall under "sofixit," but the fact of the matter is, this is a consistent problem with your noms; please take the time to correct it. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:10, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) ******Again. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:24, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) *******You've only fixed the two examples I left on your talk page. This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 20:44, March 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) ********Two more: Commanding officer and Alliance recruitment agent. I can't see anything else missing. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 54) ****Intel & Godking: Included in the prose.
 * 55) ****23rd: Survivors of 20 missions facing mandatory retirement were only a 23% of the agents, thus the nickname; article created but no change here.
 * 56) * "Fortunately, the Empire was outwitted." POV.
 * 57) **Removed.
 * 58) * "to reach a meeting with the Alliance commanding officers of the sector." What sector? Is this still the Fakir sector?
 * 59) **Yes. Added.
 * 60) * "keep them nervous" Keep who nervous? Also, lots of the wording in the P/T sounds like it may have been taken almost verbatim from the source. I am unfamiliar with the material, but please check and make sure you don't use the same words as the source.
 * 61) **Changed.
 * 62) ***What do you mean by making the Empire "feel unsure about the Roughnecks?" Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:55, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) ****Sorry: Insecure, not unsure. Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 19:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) *****This still doesn't really make sense; how is she making the Empire "insecure?" Maybe something more along the lines of "she did her best to trouble/pester the Empire," or something of the sort? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:35, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 65) ******Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) *******Grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:28, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ********Now? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:35, March 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) * "tell others only what they needed to know." What others?
 * 69) **Changed.
 * 70) * Please check the format of the BTS quote. The source seems to be misformatted.
 * 71) **Changed.
 * 72) * "along with another Campaign" What other campaign? At least pipelink it.
 * 73) **Detailed.
 * 74) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:16, March 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 75) **Most done; still looking for the grammar part. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:21, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) One more for now: In the intro you say "Lens Reekeene was a female Human born in 54 BBY.", although it's the same in the first sentence of the bio. Mind rewording it?  JangFett  (Talk) 19:36, March 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) *Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) The Grand Master II
 * 79) * Nothing in the intro that isn't also in the body, please.
 * 80) **Changed --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:08, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Very stiff, choppy prose throughout the article.
 * 82) **Modified. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:08, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) ***Better, but for the first paragraph of the intro and the first paragraph of the bio this remains. See my edits to the second paragraph of the bio for an example of how to fix this. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:13, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 84) ****Have a look. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:37, April 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) *****Much better, but please check your grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:07, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) ******Reworded. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:02, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) * "The Reekeenes and Lazith'chika were the highest-ranking members of the Roughnecks. They briefed the squads and answered their questions. Once briefed for a mission, a member of the Roughnecks could not speak to anyone except the Reekeenes or Lazith'chika, as a security measure." This seems very randomly placed; it doesn't really follow or lead into the surrounding paragraphs.
 * 88) **Moved. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:08, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * In the "Operation Retribution" section, there are some inappropriate uses of "would be." Remember, this is a future-tense phrase, and should only be used when you are explaining the formation of a plan of what is going to happen (like you do here: "The Roughnecks would simultaneously raid several Imperial targets"), and even then you should follow it up with what did happen.
 * 90) **Changed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:08, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) *I'll continue with my review once you address these. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:45, April 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 92) * "Once Retribution was over, Reekeene sent the Long Shot to the planet Iyuta. The Empire had a communication center there and Reekeene wanted a listening device on it. Reekeene had a contact on Iyuta, but the Empire had already found, killed and replaced this person, as a part of a plot to follow the Rebel agents to their headquarters. However, the Empire was outwitted." The content of this is rather ambiguous. It cuts off rather short, leaving the reader confused. How was the Empire outwitted? In what was the Empire outwitted? Did Lens ever get the listening device on the planet? Also, please specify better why it was a big deal that the Empire killed and replaced Lens' contact. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:13, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 93) **More detail added, but OS only gives an overview of the adventure; individual Gamemasters are supposed to develop, complete and detail the given outlines. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:37, April 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 94) ***That's fine, but please check your grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:07, April 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ****Reworded. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:02, April 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 96) Attack of the Clone
 * 97) * Did she officially take "Reekeene" as her married name before being known simply as "Lens"? If so, that needs to be clarified in both the intro and body, because the article is currently leaves a lot of room for misinterpretation regarding the shift from Lens to Reekeene. Additionally, perhaps beginning the intro with "Lens Reekeene, originally named Lens before marrying" or something might help to clarify this issue.
 * 98) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:11, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * "Once there, the Imperial asked for a rescue." A rescue from what/for whom?  CC7567  (talk) 20:35, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
 * 100) **Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:11, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) Just one more: "Her ship was accidentally found by an Imperial scout vessel, which ambushed&hellip;" If it was "accidentally found," then how was it an "ambush," which implies planning and intention?  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:31, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 102) *"Accidentally" removed as page 31 specifically says "ambushed". --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:56, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) Soresu
 * 104) *Let's get this nom passed.
 * 105) **"Then" is a little repetitive in the intro and first paragraphs of the bio.
 * 106) ***Removed, replaced or otherwise. Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:47, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) **Her ability to pilot X-wings, and any other skills she has should be mentioned in the P&T. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:43, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 108) ***Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:47, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) Did he buy her freedom in 3 BBY or ABY?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:37, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 110) *Typo, solved. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:51, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Thirsty Bantha

 * Nominated by: Imperialles 07:40, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Eh. --Imperialles 07:40, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) After a short IRC review. -- 1358  (Talk) 08:08, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) --Eyrezer 02:25, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) We should consider creating WookieeProject: Drinking establishments. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:33, April 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Good read.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:24, April 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:10, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:23, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Duchess looks it over
 * 2) * When you say in the into, "lest something bad happen to Thirsty Bantha", what do you mean by that? What bad thing precisely was going to happen? Also, the entire article isn't sourced at all. In the "History" section, 4th paragragh, you say that "who demanded to be served mass amounts of drinks", did you mean "massive amounts of drinks"? Duchess Jade  Republic Emblem.svg (Completely Coruscanti) 23:27, April 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **The article only has one source, so does not need to be sourced. --Eyrezer 02:25, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Per Eyrezer. The game does not specify what bad thing would happen. The usage of mass is perfectly acceptable. --Imperialles 06:59, April 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Ah, I didn't know about that particular sourcing rule. Other than that, great job. Duchess Jade  Republic Emblem.svg (Completely Coruscanti) 18:13, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Farlstendoiro in the Star Wars, Star Wars Cantiiiina
 * 7) * "A fifteen day deadline" or "a fifteen-day deadline"?
 * 8) * Underlinking: Credits, Gamorrean, maybe "helper droid" if it is some kind of specific technology.
 * 9) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:54, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) **Fifteen-day indeed. Credits is linked to once in the intro, once in the body. Linked to Gamorrean. Helper droid is not a specific technology. --Imperialles 08:04, April 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Cylka:
 * 12) * fifteen-day deadline to cough up the money - Cough up is a bit colloquial.
 * 13) * Luckily for Robb - Luckily is a bit POV. If he was the one who thought himself lucky, then add that in.
 * 14) * In the Description section, you introduce Nia Adea and the reader isn't sure who she is. It might be better to avoid mentioning her in that section.
 * 15) * Unfortunately for Robb - Same thing, unfortunately is a bit POV.
 * 16) * I think that a little context for Wunda should be included. I'm assuming that he was the local crimelord, since the Hutts usually were. If I'm correct, that would be good to include, just to show that he was important.
 * 17) * After spending the entire day in the cantina, he left without paying. - This sentence regarding Wunda doesn't seem to connect the first part of the paragraph to the rest of the paragraph. Would it be possible to connect it to the next sentence by saying something like, Wunda's drinking binge didn't hurt the Thirsty Bantha's finances or something?
 * 18) * In the intro you mention that the Thirsty Bantha operated around the time of the Galactic Empire, that it was named after the bantha, and that Adea was Human, but not in the main body.
 * 19) *Interesting little cantina you picked to write about. Cylka  -talk- 21:29, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **I believe I have addressed your objections. Have a look. --Imperialles 21:42, April 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) "Customer capacity was increased from two tables to six under her supervision." Under whose supervision? I assume you mean Adea, but as is, there's no context.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  01:13, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *Nice catch. Fixed. --Imperialles 13:26, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) "It was a relatively small cantina, and the building itself was built in traditional Tatooinian style." Not really an objection, but may be, depending on the answer. Does the source specifically state that it was in traditional Tatooinian style?  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:06, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *It's based on the fact that all buildings in the game look the same. Reworded, though, how is this? --Imperialles 10:25, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Good for me. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:23, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) **Good for me. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:23, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to strike Cylka's objections (AC only)

 * 1) Objections addressed a couple of weeks ago, and Cylka is on a hiatus of sorts, so no reason to hold up the nom.  Grunny  ( talk ) 00:35, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:36, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 06:03, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Lock (Eeth Koth)

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A clone each day keeps the doctor away. One TCW GAN should be on this page

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work, Lee. -- 1358  (Talk) 15:03, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done. I'd like to see more noms of this quality, Lee. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 06:25, May 6, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Airdate for Grievous Intrigue? --  1358  (Talk) 10:59, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:04, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) *Just to let you know, this is not a valid objection. It is completely up to the writer whether or not to put things like the airdates or release dates of sources in articles. The only time the realease/airdate would be needed is for articles about the source itself. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 14:47, May 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Fett
 * 5) * In the intro, you say the the Confederate forces were led by Grievous's Separatist destroyer. Reading this sentence, it sounds like the actual destroyer was leading them. Can you clarify that Grievous was leading the troops, onboard the destroyer?
 * 6) **Fixed.
 * 7) * Is there a way that you can reword this sentence in the bio: "Koth's Venator-class Star Destroyer, with Lock on board, was attacked by..."' It's very similiar to the sentence in the intro.
 * 8) **Changed.
 * 9) ***Removing Lock and changing Venator-class Star Destroyer to just Venator doesn't work. Please reword the sentence.
 * 10) ****Eh we only know he served on the Destroyer under Koth. It's correct.
 * 11) *****Please reword the sentence. It's currently the same as the intro's, only it has a few words missing.
 * 12) ******Ah now. Reworded.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 07:52, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * "Lock and his troops prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks in order to repel the enemy forces"" How did they know that the super battle droids were about to enter their ship? It sounds like they knew unexpectedly without someone telling them, and then in the next sentence, the supers attacked.
 * 14) **Better ?
 * 15) ***"Lock and his troops prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks and shortly after this, B2 super battle droids used an armored docking tube to board the cruiser and poured into the Republic vessel." How did Lock and his men know that the supers were about to board the Star Destroyer? Also, please check your grammar in this sentence.
 * 16) ****We don't know how the knew it.
 * 17) *****You can mention that the Separatist ship was preparing to board Koth's Star Destroyer, and that set up Lock to initiate their defensive positions. You even mentioned they tried to stop the droids from boarding the ship in the P&T, too.
 * 18) ******Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:08, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *******"After a short exchange of broadside fire, Grievous's destroyer forced Koth's warship into submission, intending to board the Republic vessel." So the destroyer wanted to board the Republic vessel?
 * 20) ********Better ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:06, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *********Better, but specifically how did Lock and his men know the battle droids were about to board their Star Destroyer? Were they warned? Did they look out a window in the Destroyer?
 * 22) **********No idea.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:17, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***********Then, please establish a better transition between these two sentences: "The Separatist troops onboard Grievous' destroyer intended to board the Republic vessel. Lock and his troops had prepared defensive positions at one of the ship's airlocks and, shortly after this, B2 super battle droids used an armored docking tube to board the cruiser and poured into the Republic cruiser." It's rather confusing, as it's rather awkwardly phrased, since they apparently knew the droids were about to board their vessel, without warning or consent.
 * 24) ************Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:31, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) * "Although he and his troops did their best," This is too POV orientated.
 * 26) **Fixed.
 * 27) ***"Although he and his troops did tried to" Try to what?
 * 28) ****Bah.
 * 29) *I'll give it another look after this.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:09, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) **Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:38, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

CT-3423

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:08, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part one of my Execute Order 66 project

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:13, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Please note that "whom" is always preceded by a preposition. -- 1358  (Talk) 18:59, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh, nevermind. -- 1358  (Talk) 18:51, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 19:41, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:04, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * "While on a speeder patrol after the battle with Jedi Master Stass Allie, CC-8826 and CT-3423 received Order 66, which branded the Jedi as traitors to the Republic." They received Order 66? How could they "receive" it?
 * 3) **Clarified.
 * 4) * "CC-8826 and CT-3423 then opened fire on Allie's speeder, destroying it and killing the Human Jedi General" What did they use to fire on her? Assuming they used their BARC speeder's blaster cannons, correct? Please fix this in the bio, too, please.
 * 5) **Clarified.
 * 6) * "CT-3423 and Neyo made a BARC speeder patrol over the marshland battlefield," They made a BARC speeder patrol? Please clarify
 * 7) **What is not clear about this sentence.
 * 8) ***Nevermind, I took care of it during my copy-edit. "made" doesn't work there, Lee.
 * 9) * "During the speeder reconnaissance, Neyo received Order 66" Again, how did he "receive" it?
 * 10) **Clarified.
 * 11) ***See the last objection.
 * 12) * "[...]and after informing CT-3423, both fell back" "Fell back" doesn't work here.
 * 13) **Replaced with a synonym.
 * 14) * "CT-3423 was ultimately loyal to the Republic and shot his Jedi General down on Saleucami." How was he "loyal"? Shooting down his Jedi General doesn't dignify that he was loyal.
 * 15) **Clarified.
 * 16) ***Still remains. Also, now "proven" is repetitive in this sentence. You changed "Republic" to "Empire," which is false.
 * 17) ****Changed back, fixed.
 * 18) *****I didn't say to change it back, Lee. Please reread what I said above.
 * 19) ******Fixed.
 * 20) *******I see no change.
 * 21) ********He was loyal enough to execute his Jedi General he had fought with. If that doesn't makes him loyal to the Republic, I don't know what.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:38, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) *********You failed to mention that he was loyal to Palpatine's orders and executed the chancellor's demand of killing his Jedi General, because of Order 66.
 * 23) **********Added.
 * 24) ***********Better, but is there anyway you can reword this, though? "CT-3423 was loyal to the Supreme Chancellor and proved that by carrying out the order to shoot down his Jedi General on Saleucami." You mentioned that he was loyal to Palpatine by carrying out his order of what?
 * 25) ************Better ?  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:03, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *I'll give it another look after this.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:34, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) **Thanks.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:50, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ***Lee, please take a look at the changes I've made during my second copy-edit.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:18, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "During the speeder reconnaissance, Neyo received Order 66 over their helm comlinks" You say both clones received the order in the intro, now you say only Neyo received the order. Which one is correct? Note that you say "their," which doesn't make sense.
 * 30) **Actually, the use of "their" is correct. The comlinks belonged to them, so they received the order in "their" comlinks. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:51, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Jon, I meant that Lee said in the intro that both received the order, and then in the bio, only Neyo did. If both of them received it, then CT-3423 should be added in as well.  JangFett  (Talk) 22:54, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Ah, sorry, my mistake&mdash;I misinterpreted what you meant. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars )
 * 33) *****No problem. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 22:59, May 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Not quite sure if both recieved the order. Neyo did it so I wrote that he recieved it.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:13, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * "During the speeder reconnaissance, Neyo received Order 66 over his helm comlinks&mdash;an order for all clone troopers to execute their Jedi officers&mdash;from Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and, after informing CT-3423, both troopers utilized their speeder's blaster cannons to fire on Allie, hitting the rear of the Jedi's Aratech 74-Z speeder." Please take a look at this sentence, Lee. Not only is the context out of place here, but it's confusing. You can cut it down. Take a look at the intro's sentence to help you on this. But, please, paraphrase so it doesn't match the intro's. I've seen you do this quite a lot, Lee.
 * 36) **Removed the context on Palpy.
 * 37) ***I didn't say to remove it. Please reread what I said above.
 * 38) ****Splitted.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:14, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *****I still see no change, Lee. Please read this sentence again, and read what I've said above: "During the speeder reconnaissance, Neyo received Order 66 over his helm comlinks&mdash;an order for all clone troopers to execute their Jedi officers&mdash; from Supreme Chancellor Palpatine."
 * 40) ******Fixed.
 * 41) *******You didn't fix anything, Lee.
 * 42) ********now.
 * 43) * "This ignited the reactor of the bike and sent it into a fatal crash," "Ignited" doesn't work here.
 * 44) **Replaced withactivated.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:33, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) ***Actually, the bike would be "activated" if its running. I would say something along the lines of the blaster fire caused the bike to explode. You don't have to describe every detail that you saw in ROTS. Just straight-to-the-point.
 * 46) ****eh, the info about the reactor is from TCSWE and it should be there.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:14, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) *****You failed to mention or source this in the article, then, Lee. If it's in the CSWE, then please source it. You currently have it sourced to Order 66 and ROTS, which assuming are correct, but given that you said it's mentioned in the CSWE, it should be sourced to it as well. The "reactor" bit only, though.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:26, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ******Meh, it was Order 66.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:38, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) *******Which one is correct, Lee? First off, you told me that the information was in CSWE, and now you say it's not there, but in Order 66. If it is Order 66, then please correct the reference in the article.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:42, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) ********It is correct as it is.
 * 51) *********Take a look at the change I made, Lee.
 * 52) The Grand Master
 * 53) * "Through his helmet comlink [&hellip;] and informed CT-3423." Please check this sentence. It does not read correctly.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 21:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:56, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) * "&hellip;utilized their BARC speeder's&hellip;" They were on the same speeder? Issue in both the intro and bio.
 * 58) **Fixed.
 * 59) ***A possessive article is still required. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 21:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 60) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:56, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) *****You have made absolutely no changes here. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 19:07, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 62) ******Sorry. Now it (should be) better.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:59, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) * Why is there no date for any event in the bio or intro? At least date their killing of Allie.
 * 64) **Added.
 * 65) * Please make sure all info in the intro is included in the bio.
 * 66) **Eh, not sure waht you mean.
 * 67) ***I mean that you currently present information in the introduction that is not present in the biography. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 21:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ****Ah.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:56, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) *****This remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 19:07, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 70) ******Honestly, I've got no idea what you mean. All info from the intro is in the bio.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:59, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 71) *******No, it's not. Please take care to read through your information regarding Order 66 in the intro compared to the information you present on the Order in the bio. Yes, this is relatively minor, possibly even a "sofixit" under normal circumstances. But it's also a basic rule of article writing that you should know to follow by now, considering the number of times you've been through this process. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 15:18, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ********Very, very minor. Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:25, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 73) * You say that Allie was on an Aratech 74-Z speeder, but you said earlier that Allie and the clones were on a BARC speeder patrol, and you included Allie as part of the patrol, thus saying that she was on a BARC, too. Which is correct?
 * 74) **Fixed.
 * 75) * "He was given his number in Order 66: Destroy All Jedi" Did he actually not receive a number until the events of this Insider article, as this implies? Or was it just not revealed until then?
 * 76) **Fixed.
 * 77) ***Please check your grammar. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 21:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 78) ****Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:56, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) * "However, in the comic, CT-3423 and Neyo gun Allie down in a rocky environment, while in the film it's in marshland." Could you explain why you present the film's version instead of the comic's version in the article?
 * 80) **Fixed.
 * 81) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Talk ) 22:38, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 82) **Thanks for your review.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:55, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 83) Toprawa:
 * 84) *This statement from the BTS needs to be sourced. It's not self-sourcing: "Because film continuity overrides that of the comic, this article presents the movie's version." Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:24, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) **The problem is that there is no source for this case escpecially.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:20, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 86) ***I seriously doubt that. I'm sure there's some kind of SW.com blog entry made by Chee or someone else detailing the levels of canon hierarchy. You'll need to find it to properly source this statement. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:33, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Isn't there a better image? We on Jedipedia have a better one that shows only 3423. Nahdar Vebb 19:00, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * The quality of the image is rather poor. Also there are some problems with the uploading.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:37, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Gormak

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:46, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first species nom. Looking forward to addressing your objections. Thanks in advance for your reviews!
 * I have just finished updating the article from the new information given in the Creating Worlds developer blog. There was less in it about the Gormak than I had thought. Please let me know if I missed anything. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:01, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

(1 ACs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good job. --Imperialles 13:01, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Good to see project progress. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 22:48, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Looks good. --Eyrezer 08:48, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:59, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Good to see project progress. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:21, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Few things:
 * 2) * Gormak in the galaxy: "For this reason, Gormak are generally considered to be mysterious." First of all, wrong tense. Secondly, considered mysterious by who? Clarify, or it could come off as a little POV.
 * 3) **Source text: A MYSTERIOUS SPECIES ON A MYSTERIOUS WORLD, LITTLE IS KNOWN IN THE GREATER GALAXY ABOUT THE GORMAK (sorry about caps, that's what it came in). I changed the article text to: For this reason, Gormak were considered to be mysterious to off-worlders. This fixes the tense issue and clarifies who holds the opinion without adding another use of "the galaxy". &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Gormak in the galaxy: "As the Gormak began constructing space-craft based on scavenged and stolen technology, it is possible that they expanded to planets other than Voss at a later time." Speculation.
 * 5) **Removed. Seemed obvious enough to include it, but then again if it's so obvious it does not need to be included. Also fixed the sourcing tags since that source only appears once after edit. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Image captions: Remember to use periods when writing full sentences.
 * 7) **Darn, thought I had that covered. Made some changes to throw verbs in the captions, making it more obvious they were sentences and safer to add periods all around. Should be fixed. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * Wikipedia links: No hard rules on this, and this is not a proper objection, but it might not be a bad idea to cut down on these a bit. In the intro, flight could link to starship instead of being an interwiki link.
 * 9) **I originally had that but was concerned that they might not have atmospheric flight too. Did a double link to airspeeders and spacecraft there. Also removed some of the obvious links in the description: hair, fur, nose, claw. No reason why those should be linked when terms like "face" and "eyes" aren't. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *Other than that, nice work. Just keep in mind that this article's going to need a ton of care in the months leading up to the release of TOR, and then likely a huge update once it's out. --Imperialles 05:14, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks! And thanks for the review! I'm aware that many articles in the project are going to need big work when the game is released, but I'm happy to do that. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Trayus Academy:
 * 13) * I would change the main quote source to the actual HoloNet article instead of ours, so as to be more specific as to where in the HoloNet it came from.
 * 14) **Done! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Err, not done. My edit didn't actually work as it required an in-house article. Changed back. If you know a way to get a more accurate link without creating an article for each section of the holonet or entry in the holonet, please let me know. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 13:45, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) ***I've taken care of it for you. Give it a look so you can see how to do Quoteurl's in the future.
 * 17) **** Okay, that makes sense, but where is the [src] link? Does the "quoteurl" template not give a link for the source? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 00:57, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ****Nm. I looked up the template and you were just missing the "url=" portion. Added, and thanks for pointing the template out. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 01:00, May 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Slightly reduce some of the details on the Imperial/Republic invasion in the intro. One sentence should do it. It's specifics are somewhat unimportant to the Gormak.
 * 20) **I cut out some details of the Voss and I inserted the Gormak into another clause to make it more relevant to them: When the planet Voss was first discovered not long after the Treaty of Coruscant in 3,653 BBY, the Sith Empire attempted to conquer the planet, which it thought was only populated by Gormak. The Voss revealed themselves and the planet remained independent. Embassies were established by the Empire and the Galactic Republic in an attempt to curry favor with the Voss, angering the Gormak. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Good. I made a slight alteration, but feel free to undo it if you don't like it.
 * 22) * "The Gormak were extremely hostile toward the other natives of the planet Voss, the Voss." - Although I understand what's being said here, others who have not read the original source may be a bit confused if you name the Voss without providing a better distinction between their name and the planet's.
 * 23) **I altered the text in that sentence to: toward the other natives of the planet, the Voss species. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Perfect
 * 25) * The final sentence of "Gormak in the galaxy" is speculation at this point.
 * 26) **Removed, as per Imp's objection. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) *Other than that and Imp's objections, it looks pretty good. Like he said, it'll require a lot of updating, but it seems GA-worthy as it stands. And I'm glad you're taking on projects that you know will need updates, as it's best to get a head-start on them now instead of starting from scratch when a litany of information is released. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:48, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) **I'm aware that there's going to be updates and eventually a big flood of new information once the game is released. I'm up for that as long as it's not expected for all articles all at once. :) As you said, the more that's done now, the easier it will be later. Thanks for the review! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 12:57, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) IFYLOFD:
 * 30) *"the planet Voss, which resided in the Voss system of the Allied Tion sector in the Outer Rim Territories." Better word choice could be used here; the verb "to reside" is usually used in regards to a person.
 * 31) **Somebody beat me to the punch in a copy-edit, and the word "reside" no longer appears. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 32) *"Original Gormak technology was visually unique and fundamentally different from common technology of the galaxy." How so?
 * 33) **I've removed this text as it was taken from an OoU perspective when they were describing art design. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 34) *"The Gormak possessed an impressive innate comprehension for technology, though they had not developed flight capability prior to contact with off-worlders." Which type of flight? Sub-atmospheric flight or space flight? Clarify.
 * 35) **Can't. Just says flight. Originally linked to flight and was told to instead link to starship in a previous objection. I compromised by including both links. I've just altered the link to flight, which includes the following sentence: The term "flight" also referred to the general concept of flying, be it in a starfighter, an airspeeder, or by utilizing a personal jetpack. Best I can do. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 36) **I altered the text of the flight article to say: "Flight" also referred to flight-related technology—such as starships, airspeeders, or jetpacks—or to the general concept of flight—such as piloting or with natural wings as Geonosians and Toydarians., which I think provides a better picture and makes the article more serviceable to link to for this purpose. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 14:06, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) *That's all.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 02:35, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) **Thanks for the review! I appreciate it! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:31, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 40) *"an impressive innate comprehension..." Impressive is slightly POV here. Can you say who found it impressive?
 * 41) **Author did apparently. Struck the word "impressive". &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 42) *Again, please reword the "discovery" of Voss, since its native species discovered it first. :)
 * 43) **Changed to: When the planet Voss was discovered by non-natives &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 44) *Again, please provide context for the Treaty of Coruscant.
 * 45) **Context added: ended the great galactic war and marked the beginning of the cold war. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 46) *"hairless, furless..." I'd say both words are not necessary; hair and fur mean virtually the same thing.
 * 47) **I disagree. Would you describe a Human, Zabrak, or Falleen as "furry"? Would you describe a Wookiee as "hairy"? this guy is hairy, but he's not fur-covered like a dog. However, I dug around some other species articles who could be described similarly for precedent and none of the hairless, furless species in FA status mentioned the lack of either, so I've struck both words from the sentence. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 48) *That's it. Please keep up the aliens! ~ SavageBob 05:52, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) **Thanks for the review, much appreciated! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:31, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not an objection, but it's generally best practice to put a full-body image in the infobox whenever possible. I noticed there was one such image on the Voss (species) page; might that be used in the infobox? It's possible it won't be good enough quality once it's cropped, but I figured I'd ask. ~ SavageBob 20:05, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sorry, this is the image I'm talking about, and it seems that it would work in the infobox just fine (except for the right-orientation, but you can't win 'em all!). ~ SavageBob 20:06, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Sounds good to me. I'll just swap those images so that there's no double images between the Gormak and Voss (species) articles. Thanks! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 20:12, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Pzob

 * Nominated by: Imperialles 16:25, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Warming up for Gamorr.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) I fixed two instances of "eachother"; there is a space between the two words. Nice and clean otherwise.  NAYAYEN : TALK 12:52, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) *Probably best to specify which species the atmosphere was breathable to. Otherwise, it could mean Kel Dor breathable. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 12:01, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. --Imperialles 14:08, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Skippy: Oink (Per Moff Ball Four)
 * 5) *Intro: You can give the name of "the sole surviving Imperial soldier", and even link it.
 * 6) *Description: "Apart from the presence of a Galactic Empire base during the Imperial Period,[4] no major galactic power lay claim to Pzob" You said it was a secret base, thus I don't think the Empire really laid claim to Pzob which is more or less public. Maybe you could reword this?
 * 7) *History: I know you won't have all the information, with all those "prior to", but are you sure the events are chronologically ordered? Gamorrean settlement before 18 BBY; Republic discovering the word between 5,000-3,000 BY; last official report before 38 BBY. The settlement sounds more probable after the Republic discovers the planet.
 * 8) *Why did the Gamorreans began attacks against the Imperial base? If it was for no apparent reason, that would be worth mentioning.
 * 9) *History, 4th paragraph: Please tell the end of the story. The Eye probably left Pzob with its prisoners, 	bound for somewhere. Specify that; as far as we know, the Eye is still in Pzob!
 * 10) *You're gonna be asked to create a link for the Imperial base, and at least write a stub.
 * 11) *Also, link Pzob Forest Battle Yard.
 * 12) *Suggestion: If The Essential Atlas Online Companion lists a "Pzob system" instead of the K749 system, then the K749 system is also known as Pzob system (Similar to J11.9 / Tatoo system; LM0228 / Lamaro system).
 * 13) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:20, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Most of these should be addressed, take a look. As for the Atlas thing, sure, that makes sense, but I'm not comfortable with assumptions. --Imperialles 14:42, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Voss (species)

 * Nominated by: &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:53, May 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: There is currently no information on Voss appearance, so there is no 'Biology and appearance' section at this time. This article is one I plan to continuously maintain as new information is released regarding Star Wars: The Old Republic. Looking forward to addressing your objections!

(2 ACs/6 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:25, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:03, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice. --Eyrezer 09:01, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:03, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:42, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Imperialles 22:03, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) I feel sorry for any long-term bachelors in this society. ~ SavageBob 22:19, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) I've removed some redundant footnotes, hope you don't mind.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:25, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) Moar TOR! -- 1358  (Talk) 18:06, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * Not sure here, but I don't think category links should be used in abscence of actual articles. At least, I haven't seen any other FAs/GAs that do.
 * 3) **I have removed them. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Not sure if there is a need for Voss in the Galaxy. According to WP:LG, the section tends to be used for discussion of notable individuals, and we know of none. Everything you have in their has already been stated, once, if not more, times elsewhere in the article.
 * 5) **Removed. Just trying to stay as true as possible to the guideline. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***The LG is simply, as you said, a guideline. It even says specifically that X in the galaxy can be removed if there is not sufficient info. Don't be afraid to just take it out if it feels unneeded. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:03, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * In history, there are a few details missing. First, you need to mention that its discovery was accidental. Second, your version of events regarding the Republic and Sith interests in Voss differ slightly. In the intro, you say that the Sith attempted to conquer Voss and the Republic "intervened", while in the history, you say they both plotted, and the Voss intervened. It could use a bit of clarification.
 * 8) **Well, the Republic's "intervention" was still an occupation that the Voss viewed as a plot against them. Source text: When the Sith Empire schemed to conquer Voss, the Republic sought to defend the planet--but the Mystics foresaw both plots and in the end a fleet disappeared, an Empire was humbled and two mighty powers came to Voss peacefully to win favor. I have expanded the history section and clarified the intro to stay closer to the source text in meaning. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Also, do we know what form this "intervention" took (military, economic etc.)?
 * 10) **Considering the context of the source text, I think it's fairly obvious that the "missing fleet" was a Republic fleet, but it's unconfirmed. I think it's clear that it was military, because it's failure led to "coming to Voss peacefully", by establishing the embassies. In the revised text it's general "occupation forces" for both sides. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * In the intro, it sounds like the Republic intervened to help the Voss or simply to defeat the Sith. Clarify their true motive please.
 * 12) **"Occupation force" as per above. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Nice work. Your writing continues to improve. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:05, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks. Definitely a different style than what I'm used to writing. And thanks for the review! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:29, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) I think you should create an article for the war between the Voss and Gomak.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:48, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) *I have created Eternal War of Voss and linked to it from both the Gormak and Voss (species) articles. I will also link to it from other related articles. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 02:34, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) Needs to be updated with the latest developer blog. Gormak, too. --Imperialles 16:28, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) *Nice! I haven't been able to digest all the new news yet and didn't see this one. I'll post again when the articles are updated with new bits. Thanks for the link. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 16:33, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) *Oh my god, they confirmed Voss Mystics as "gray"! Luckily, I'm also managing the FAN for Gray Jedi. This is a big article for me. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 17:01, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) **Okay, this article is updated. I will post on the Gormak GAN entry when that article is updated, then on the Gray Jedi FAN entry when that article updated, and then I'll move onto some of the other like the Voss Mystics article. Please let me know if I missed any important information on the Voss species article. Thanks! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 17:49, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Proper review:
 * 22) * Intro: Sentient is generally a preferable word to sapient. I think there was a consensus decision on the issue many years back.
 * 23) **Changed. I'll have to go and check some of my other edits for that. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 24) * Biology and appearance: I believe the "poison frog" comment is OOU; that whole section of the blog is devoted to notes on the design of the Voss, it's not an in-universe description.
 * 25) **Doh! Removed. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 26) ***I'm guessing the mention of camouflage is based on this sentence from the blog "These people don’t blend or quite belong on their world"&mdash;which is part of the same OOU notes as the poison frog stuff. --Imperialles 20:37, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ****Ach! Sorry, forgot that was there. Struck! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 28) * Society and culture: You link to Gray Jedi, but it's clear that these are not Jedi. Perhaps a new article on Gray Force traditions in general would be better.
 * 29) **Here I disagree. The definition we have for Gray Jedi says that it was a general term that could apply to non-Jedi. In this sense, it is similar to Dark Jedi before sources started favoring Dark Side Adept. I'm adding them to the Gray Jedi article right now actually. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 30) * Society and culture: "veritable utopia" is POV.
 * 31) **Source text: These Voss Mystics – rumored to be enigmatic healers as well as seers – struggle to protect their utopian society from annihilation. Is that not sufficient? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 32) ***There's plenty of sources saying Palpatine was evil, that still doesn't make it not POV. One man's utopia is another man's dystopia, etc. --Imperialles 20:37, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ****Roger that. I was going to strike it outright (as I did the word "utopia" in the intro) but instead tried something clever by combining it with the next sentence, altering its meaning. The new sentence is: Between the strong defenses and artistry of their home, as well as the guidance of their Mystics, members of Voss society were generally pleased with the rule of the Voss Mystics, despite the totalitarian nature of their government. This is sourced to the Creating Worlds article, and hopefully is sufficient. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 34) * Society and culture: "and both governments established embassies in Voss-Ka in order to curry favor with the natives" Maybe reword this to "maintained diplomatic relations with" to make it seem less repetitive (seeing as the information is mentioned in three different sections)
 * 35) **Good call, text altered. Now only says "curry favor" in the intro. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 36) * BTS: Lots of stuff to add here from the developer blog. Mention what the designers had in mind when creating the species.
 * 37) **I wasn't sure how much was appropriate to add. I have expanded it with the big items I can think of. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 38) *--Imperialles 18:04, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) **Thanks for the review! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 20:42, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) **Hopefully those last two are now properly addressed. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:00, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 42) * Terms like Voss Mystics and Voss Commandos, if they are the names of organizations, should be capitalized only if the full title of the organization is used. Otherwise, they are common names and should be lowercase. At least normally; does the original source use the terms commando and mystic with a capitalized first letter without the Voss in front of it? Either way, please be consistent, since both forms currently appear.
 * 43) **Actually "Commandos" was used once in the source (hence why that page is "Voss Commandos" and not "Voss commandos"), however, to be consistent I have changed the text so that the words "mystic" and "commando" are only captialized when preceded by "Voss". &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 44) * "the planet Voss was accidentally discovered..." A couple of things: Discovered by whom? And how could it be discovered when the Voss and the Gormak were already there and had presumably already discovered it? Perhaps "reached by outsiders" would be better.
 * 45) **I'll add that off-worlders discovered it by chance, but that text was put there to satisfy a previous objection, so I'm reticent to remove it entirely. New text: the planet Voss discovered by off-worlders by chance, becoming known to both the Sith Empire and the Galactic Republic. We do not know who exactly discovered Voss or what the circumstances were that made it "accidental", but hopefully the aboved revised sentence highlights the core information: off-worlders discovered Voss when they weren't necessarily looking for it, and the result was this knowledge came to both the Empire and the Republic. Hopefully that is sufficient. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 46) * Do we know that the colors of skin we're seeing are, in fact, skin and not body paint or tattoos?
 * 47) **The source text describes them as "skin patterns", and never mentions paint or tattoos. From the design context, especially the comparison to poison dart frogs, it is apparent that these patterns are a natural part of their appearance. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 48) * "did not physically develop sexually until after marriage rituals were performed." I'm not sure what this means. Does this mean they did not enter puberty until these rites were performed?
 * 49) **Not a clue. Source text: Then there are documents that are explorations of Voss art (monochromatic and symbolic), marriage practices (don’t physically sexually develop until their marriage rituals are performed), funereal rites (usually a Voss speaks as little as possible but they are extremely publicly emotional and wail at funerals and other times of hardship) and all of the other details It seems like an interesting quirk of their biology, but with this being the only information we have... I dunno. I assume puberty but don't want to add speculation to the article. I've changed the text to Voss underwent a physical, developmental change during their marriage rituals, and did not develop sexually prior to the performance of these ceremonies. for now, but if you have any suggestions on this I am open to them. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 50) * Please provide context on why they were considered "gray" (i.e., please explain that the Jedi are considered light and the Sith dark).
 * 51) **Changed the text to: The Voss Mystics were considered to be gray by the Jedi and the Sith for their non-standard perspecitve on the nature of the Force, as they belonged to neither Order nor fully embraced either the light or dark sides of the Force. which is essentially a brief summary of the definition of "Gray Jedi" or "Gray" in the context of the Force. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 52) * The Treaty of Coruscant is mentioned a few times, but it's never explained. Can you give some context after the first mention?
 * 53) **Howzabout: Following the Treaty of Coruscant in 3,653 BBY that ended the Great Galactic War and started the Cold War, ? &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 54) *That's it! Nice work! ~ SavageBob 05:36, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) **Thanks for the review! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 22:00, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) ***All looks good to me. Nice work. ~ SavageBob 22:19, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) Two things
 * 58) * Can you use the holonet template in the references as well?
 * 59) **I swear I remember trying and having it not work, which was why I was just following the phrasing of the template, but now it seems to be working? Made the changes. (will now go and update other articles to do this as well) &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 60) * Any reason why blue is capitalized in the infobox?
 * 61) **Not really. Changed to lower-case. &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) |
 * 62) *-- 1358  (Talk) 17:23, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) **Thanks for the review! &mdash;fodigg  BlackRebelStarbird.png (talk) | 18:04, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) Toprawa:
 * 65) *All of the swtor.com external link news articles listed in this article's referencing can be properly included as Source list items. Please refer to Trayus's Good article, Duel on Coruscant (Inter–Sith Wars Period), as a perfect example of how to format it for consistency with our other TOR articles. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:03, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Hardcase

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 02:33, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Continuation of The Deserter clone troopers

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Objections addressed via IRC. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:06, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:17, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee attacks
 * 2) * the Republic group spotted a crashed ship: Smuggler, Cis, Republic ?
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * while he, Cody, and Crys stayed behind to go through the remains of the crashed ship: I don't thinks that only Cody, Crys and Kenobi stayed behind.
 * 5) **They did; they stayed behind to salvage the remains of the ship to find clues. They weren't part of Rex's team, too.
 * 6) ***I mean that not only Cody, Crys and Kenobi stayed behind.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:59, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ****Lee, in the episode Obi-Wan, Cody, and Crys were the only ones that stayed behind. I've said this before.
 * 8) *****Eh, no. There were a lot of troopers with Kenobi and Cody.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:11, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ******Again, I have no reason to change this, Lee. In the episode, those were the only ones mentioned that stayed behind. Anything else would be redundant, and not even worth mentioning. This article is about Hardcase, not the episode summary in general nor "Kenobi's group that stayed behind."
 * 10) *******Well it is not precise, but OK.
 * 11) * The last paragraph is a little bit to much about Jesse.
 * 12) **Reworded a few things. Hardcase was with Jesse during that time.
 * 13) *That's all from me. Nice to see more TCW (and especially) clones from you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 07:47, May 8, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Battle droid commander (Dorin)

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 01:25, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Roger Roger.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) In the Characteristics section, you say "The droid's actions were devastating enough to please Grievous, who was known to greatly dislike the droids under his command." However, in the second clause, you need to identify where Grievous showed this, and source it. Also, can you find a different word to replace "devastating"? It doesn't work there.  JangFett  (Talk) 03:08, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Meh, the whole paragraph was little... weird. Removed. Kreivi Wolter 09:03, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) I'm seeing major issues with poor wording/phrasing and overall coherency in the article's writing, some POV issues, and also major sourcing mistakes. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 04:45, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Could you glarify what you mean by major sourcing mistakes? Kreivi Wolter 09:03, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **I mean that the article does not adhere to rules 4 and 10, in that it is inadequately sourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 13:18, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Two things
 * 7) * "During the ongoing battle..." During already indicates that the battle is ongoing; no need for both.
 * 8) **Right. Kreivi Wolter 19:39, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) *Some underlinking in the body.
 * 10) *-- 1358  (Talk) 18:30, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Arden Lyn

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 01:06, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Bleh.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good job. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 01:50, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Another Emperor's Hand down. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:30, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Now feature both Hoar and Thok. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:50, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Trayus Academy:
 * 2) * No quotes anywhere?
 * 3) **No. Not unless there's a taunt in Teras Kasi. If there is, I haven't been able to find it.
 * 4) * Contextify First Great Schism in the intro.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Provide some kind of time marker/indicator of era in that first paragraph of the intro. As it stands, you go from that information to saying she was awakened 25,000 years later, but we don't know 25,000 after what.
 * 7) **But it's immediately qualified in that sentence, with "Great Jedi Purge."
 * 8) * You use "although" twice in quick succession in the intro. Substitute one.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * Can we get a "circa" date for her death in the infobox?
 * 11) **Yep, done.
 * 12) * Same goes for the time marker in the first bio paragraph. It needs some kind of indicator of the era in which this all occurred.
 * 13) **Done.
 * 14) * Contextify the Legions of Lettow and the First Great Schism.
 * 15) **The context is given in subsequent sentences.
 * 16) ***Where? There needs to be some kind of indicator of what the Legions are, because right now the only think I see is what they did, which is fight the Jedi. As far as context for the First Great Schism, there needs to be some mention of why there was a schism, which would also help explain what the Legions of Lettow are.
 * 17) ****I think it's better explained now; take a shufti.
 * 18) * The transition between her ascension and her duel with Pina is really awkward. Can you find a better transitioning sentence than "In turn, she was cornered by Jedi Master Awdrysta Pina."?
 * 19) **Fixed.
 * 20) ***Just out of curiosity, is "cornered" the exact term from the source?
 * 21) ****Switched to "tracked down."
 * 22) *" Somehow, due to her possession of the Kashi Mer talisman, Lyn survived Pina's attack in a Force trance,[1] possibly due to her study of Palawan techniques,[4]  and her decomposed body was located approximately 25,000 years later at the end of the Great Jedi Purge in the Unknown Regions by Emperor  Palpatine's Jedi hunters, the Inquisitors."&mdash;please break this up. In one very long sentence you cover way to much information for it to be read clearly and concisely.
 * 23) **Split.
 * 24) * "Inquisitors Antinnis Tremayne, Ameesa Darys, and Grand Inquisitor Laddinare Torbin located, alongside her body, the Kashi Mer talisman, and when brought into the proximity of Lyn, she was reawakened, and her body was rejuvenated."&mdash;this sentence can be streamlined or broken up to reduce the comma usage and awkward flow.
 * 25) **Fixed.
 * 26) * Context for chaos. My suggestion would be to change that to the Netherworld of the Force, but it needs something else.
 * 27) **I'm using the exact words of the source there, and it doesn't go into specifics, making this a bit difficult. I've tried something... see if that works.
 * 28) * Link Galactic Empire and Zaarin splinter government somewhere in the bio.
 * 29) **Done.
 * 30) * Can we prose-ify some of those quotes in the BTS? I'm not so worried about the second, but the first definitely needs to be.
 * 31) **Fixed.
 * 32) * Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 05:34, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 07:30, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) Going off of Trayus's first objection, after some Youtube searching I was able to find a couple of Lyn's taunts: "I shall be triumphant!" and "You are a pitiful fighter." Could you add these in? Otherwise, awesome work.  Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 16:18, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) *Your thoroughness of searchery continues to bamboozle me, Xicer. Done and done. Thefourdotelipsis 23:35, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) Skippy Farlstendoiro
 * 37) * Following his RPG stats in Star Wars Gamer, she speaks Basic, Bunduki language and Old Galactic Standard, and has skills to repair technology and disable explosives. Add that to P&T.
 * 38) **I've got most of that in the P&A already, where it's most suited, but I've added the two last parts.
 * 39) * Say something in the Succession Box empty square ("None, position dissolved" or something like that), and source it.
 * 40) **The thing is, we don't know that the Legions were dissolved after Lyn's death. As far as I'm aware, no source explicitly states that the Legions were destroyed immediately afterwards, at least, not the sources I was dealing with. So I'm not really sure what I could put in there, and attribute. Suggestions?
 * 41) ***Suggestion: A line under BtS to explain the unusual succession box if you want.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:50, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) *Very good job.Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:35, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) **Thanks for the review. Thefourdotelipsis 14:47, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Halmere

 * Nominated by: Thefourdotelipsis 01:06, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Fneh.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nothing to object. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:53, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Watch your linking, or I'll bite you on the arm.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:19, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) -- 1358  (Talk) 05:08, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) "Interrogation of Canna Omonda:" "...and was given an escort of three Imperial Star Destroyers for her journey." Imperial SD currently redirects to Imperial I-class Star Destroyer. If it isn't known what type of SDs these were, please link just to Star Destroyer. --  1358  (Talk) 18:40, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Actually, it links to the more general article for Imperial-class Star Destroyer. Which happens to be a stub, but it's an article all the same. I've pipelinked it to avoid linking to a redirect, however. Thefourdotelipsis 23:22, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Lunker

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:25, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A Gungan....

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- 1358  (Talk) 18:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Before I read through it thoroughly: You don't mention Cad Bane in the bio, still you mention a Duros. This is somewhat confusing. --  1358  (Talk) 12:50, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Facepalm. Fixed.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) From the Xd of Xd1358
 * 4) * Split up the first sentence of the intro.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) * Is Sidious worth a mention in the intro?
 * 7) **Context.
 * 8) *** Then could you possibly merge the context sentence with the previous one? Something like "...from abduction by the Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane, who had been ordered to capture Force-sensitive children by the Sith Lord Darth Sidious." -- 1358  (Talk) 18:36, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Jep.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:39, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Typho reported to the Jedi that Page's family had been notified and introduced them to Lunker." So, did they introduce Page's family to Lunker?
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "Lunker brought Tano to Jan-gwa city, where the two Jedi set a trap for Bane." Sounds like Lunker is one of the Jedi who organized the trap. Please reword.
 * 13) **Fixed.
 * 14) * "Skywalker and Tano were able to save Page from Bane's attempt to abduct her, capturing the bounty hunter." Right now it sounds like that Bane was captured because the Jedi managed to save the child, while it should clarify that he was captured with the trap.
 * 15) **Fixed.
 * 16) *-- 1358  (Talk) 18:08, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:17, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * One more thing before voting: Ordered is not the same thing as tasked. To task is to give someone a mission while ordering is something one can't decline. Please decide whether Sidious tasked (IMO) or ordered Bane. Otherwise, good read about a obscure Gungan. :P -- 1358  (Talk) 18:41, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Fixed and thanks.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:46, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) Where's the quote? Kreivi Wolter 19:24, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *Facepalm. Asked JMAS.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) **Lee, you should be able to add a quote in the article yourself.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:47, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ***Added.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:50, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Please remember to properly format novel appearances/references: "Star Wars: The Clone Wars novelization," not "Star Wars: The Clone Wars (novel)." I've done this for you, but be sure to do it in the future. -- 1358  (Talk) 11:48, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:41, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Betl Oxtroe

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:12, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:Surprisingly overlooked.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 01:34, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:37, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Surprisingly indeed. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:51, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Poor gal. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 06:12, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) -- 1358  (Talk) 18:44, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:07, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:21, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments


 * Not sure on this, so I leave it as a comment. Do you think the "albeit with dubious legitimacy" bit in P&T is needed? I'm thinking it's not, as it's not directly relevant to Oxtroe and only creates confusion in the reader's mind.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:18, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Good point. I axed it. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 23:46, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

All Terrain Ion Cannon

 * Nominated by: Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:56, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: The Monstrosity of all All Terrain monstrosities.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Interesting. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 23:15, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 00:35, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Fascinating path to canonicity --Eyrezer 02:33, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Always nice to see Epic Continues stuff. Thefourdotelipsis 12:38, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:57, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Awesome.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:07, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) You gotta get in to get out.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:15, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Dendro

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:19, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another Jedi killed by Vader&hellip;

(0 ACs/4 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Pre-nom reviewed. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 19:06, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:31, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:20, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Good work. -- 1358  (Talk) 18:49, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee attacks...after Order 66. Hm, did I execute that Order?
 * 2) * Possible a mention that his master was a Ovoni in the intro.
 * 3) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Is "Jedi Master" really needed after his master's name in the infobox ?
 * 5) **This is common practice, from what I've seen.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The first two sentences of the second paragraph of the bio are a little choppy. Merge please.
 * 7) **You sure? Those are two large sentences.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) *  the Sith Lord used the Force to push the Padawan to push him back, forward ?
 * 9) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * Did Vader stabbed/beheaded etc. Dendro ?
 * 11) **The comic doesn't specify.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *Otherwise nice work. Hope you find time for his master. And we had the discussion about the lightsaber colour so I won't object it. Always happy to review your articles.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:07, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Thanks for the review, Lee, happy to receive them. Yes, I am working on Hylon, actually.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:06, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu
 * 15) * Dendro, a Human male, served the Jedi Order as a Padawan during the Clone Wars. During this time, he came under the tutelage of the Ovoni Jedi Master Hylon. You're basically saying that during his time as a padawan, he came under the tutelage of the Ovoni Jedi Master Hylon. The problem with that is that you don't become a Padawan until you have a Master. Maybe you should just say he served the order and move the padawan bit into the next sentence.
 * 16) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:43, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * Vader grasped Dendro by his neck and removed his hood, recognizing that Dendro was a Padawan. Is it said how he knew? Did he recognize him personally, or notice a padawan braid? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:54, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Please try it. Thanks for the review, Soresu. --Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:43, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * The sources of the quotes say that all quotes are from Seconds to die, but there is only The Hidden Blade in the source-list. Is it a mistake or not? Nahdar Vebb 08:43, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Don't know how I made this mistake, fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 15:49, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. I thought: I've Seconds to Die, but why I don't know him? This must be a mistake. 19:41, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Dominion

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:17, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: More Super Star Destroyers.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:39, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:03, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:56, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:13, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:14, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) -- 1358  (Talk) 05:06, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) OMG! They killed two Moffs! You poodoo! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:40, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Enforcer (Executor-class)

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 04:10, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: And even more.

(2 ACs/4 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  19:20, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:38, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Keep 'em coming.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 00:09, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) More SSDs! -- 1358  (Talk) 05:22, May 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:29, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) D6! --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:43, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Allegiance (Super Star Destroyer)

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 04:10, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Sick of them yet?

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:37, May 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:17, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:07, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:47, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Why not? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:44, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Dengless Rinn

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:21, May 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Moustache! Moustache!

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Yutsen

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 16:40, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first guest nom for WP:TCW in quite a while; done on a whim

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- 1358  (Talk) 16:48, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Fine work, Jonny. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:18, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Hooray journalists. Hooray beer. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:11, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:12, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:05, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Some context on Binks in the bio. --  1358  (Talk) 16:44, May 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *D'oh! Added; thanks for the review. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Talk ) 16:46, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Artruk

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 04:44, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another webcomic extra, I guess. :P

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:38, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) And here comes Kreivi
 * 2) * "Soon, Artruk and Argente entered a holographic meeting with tactical droid TX-20 and Separatist Council member, Emir Wat Tambor." First, TX-20? This, this, and this articles tells that the droid presented in the comic is TA-175. And secondly, "entered a holographic meeting". This seems to indicate that Artruk and Argente were contacted by Tambor and his droid, while in reality they were secretly spied by the pair through Tambor's spy droid.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) *What caused Tambor to change Ryloth's priority number?
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) ***I do believe it wasn't Artruk's "discussion about Ryloth" what make Tambor to invade Ryloth, but rather the treasures Artruk was hiding on the city.
 * 7) * Per rule 16, could you add at least one more image? Kreivi Wolter 15:44, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) **Addressed. Thanks for the review.  JangFett  (Talk) 16:35, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) He lived "in the planet Ryloth"? Someone can't live inside a planet unless they're underground. This is only a passing objection, but please make sure that there aren't other errors like this lying around.  CC7567  (talk) 17:45, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *Yeah, addressed.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:55, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Boba Fett and the Assassin Droids

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:55, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Let's rock!

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:49, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Heh.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:26, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *You currently link and reference to the GG6 disambig page. Please specify first and/or second edition. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:32, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:22, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Could you merge the two youmay templates? -- 1358  (Talk) 14:58, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) *Like this? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:00, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Xd
 * 7) *In the intro, you say that Boba Fett did not care about the band, however, in the "Organization" section, you state that experts believed that he would not care. Please decide which one is correct.
 * 8) *That's it. -- 1358  (Talk) 17:19, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) A few things:
 * 10) *Alien is a humanocentric word; might be better to simply use the term "non-Human"
 * 11) *Intro: "Boba Fett and the Assassin Droids was an underground musical group named after a famous bounty hunter and an illegal technology" This sentence presumes prior knowledge of both Fett and assassin droids. Reword it to something like "named after the bounty hunter Boba Fett and assassin droids, considered an illegal technology by the Galactic Empire." That way, you also eliminate the ugly links in the bolded part.
 * 12) *Intro: "in a vain attempt to stop them." Unsuccessful is probably a better word than vain in this context.
 * 13) *History: "to be too dangerous for broadcasting." Dangerous how? Politically? Clarify.
 * 14) *--Imperialles 17:30, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Blue Wing

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 23:04, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: No clever comment this time. I know, you're all devastated.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Skippy Farlstendoiro
 * 2) *Biography, 1st paragraph, last sentence is unsourced!
 * 3) **Leftover from a previous edit. Gone now.
 * 4) *I get we don't know whether he survived the battle or not. Right?
 * 5) **Nothing reveals his fate.
 * 6) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:47, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for the review. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 19:20, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Jallar Golin

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 17:43, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another minor Emperor's Hand.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

Na'daz

 * Nominated by:  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:05, May 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 292 words. My first project for WP:NSW

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) A skilled fighter with a lightsaber, Na'daz traveled once to the Mid Rim world Nal Hutta and discovered a young Force-sensitive Twi'lek named Kas'im. The beginning of this sentence, "A skilled fighter with a lightsaber," has nothing to do with the rest of the sentence. Please rework. —Tommy 9281 19:29, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

Comments