Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Dhol


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dhol

 * Nominated by: -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:32, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(6 Inqs/1 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1) Alan Moore is weird. - Lord Hydronium 03:39, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:16, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Superb.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  13:13, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Graestan ( Talk ) 19:21, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) "Very Dhol, minister." Thefourdotelipsis 02:02, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 18:45, 10 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) Knowing you'll get the red link. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:02, 11 July 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * "Dhol existed in a huge, transparent globe, which hovered several meters above the ground without the use of visible repulsorlifts." -Huge? In relation to what? "There were hordes of "rings" built into the board, and players could use a set of controls to activate certain rings, which would produce a tall column of fire, destroying whatever piece was on the ring at the time." - Hordes of rings? Really? I'm sure there's a better collective. "She entered into a bargain with the Guild of Vindicators, a cult known for their eye-for-an-eye beliefs and mysterious powers, who wished to examine Vader's conscience and eliminate him for his numerous bad deeds." - "Bad deeds" is POV. Thefourdotelipsis 09:46, 29 June 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed. By the way, lists are preferred. :-P -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:41, 2 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Please create an article for this. That title would probably work nice, and then please add the link to the infobox field: "and a member of an unidentified squid-like species"
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * You should specify somewhere in the article the time frame, 1 ABY, that is presented in the infobox. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:20, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **I'm not really sure what evidence supports the date (it was a holdover from the previous version of the article) so I've removed it.
 * 6) **Wow, I was going to request you change the section title, but lo and behold, we've found an article worthy of "Endgame". :P Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:07, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) *** :-D That was a conscious decision -- little things like that make articles so much more interesting, imo. Glad you liked it, and thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:50, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Silly Dan:
 * 9) * I don't think the first two sentences flow very well: they seems like two short sentences have been spliced together just to avoid using choppy sentences, but without making any attempt to make them flow. Maybe something like "Lady Dhol, the ruler of Cheelit, was a female squid-like sentient. She lived in a floating, transparent globe in her hive-palace, where she amused herself by playing the game of Firepath."  Additionally, I think using "existed" for "lived", "was known as" for "was", and similar bits of excess wordiness, should be fixed in the body where they appear. &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 02:45, 3 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **Fair points, and I've reworded the intro per your request. I've also reworded a couple of examples of excess wordiness I found in the bio; please let me know if there is more. Thanks for your input. :-) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:50, 9 July 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Looks good now. Thanks, &mdash;Silly Dan (talk) 18:45, 10 July 2008 (UTC)

Comments


 * Are there any more details about why she wanted to kill Vader?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 12:58, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * No, unfortunately. My theory is that she wanted him killed so she would be the best Firepath player in the galaxy, but there's no evidence of that in the comic. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 13:07, 28 June 2008 (UTC)
 * I didn't think you would overlook that. Nice theory though.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:13, 28 June 2008 (UTC)