Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 6) Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Second Battle of Korriban (Great Hyperspace War)

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 03:12, December 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Ho-hum.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:51, December 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:04, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Kreivi Wolter 16:29, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:09, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 04:20, February 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * Seeing that surrender was their only option, Dakhan ordered suicide attacks on the Republic forces, Clearly, surrender was not their only option if they managed to suicide attack.
 * 3) **Not really. The Atlas, which is the source I went to get info on this stage of the battle, says "When it became clear that surrender was their only option, acting Dark Lord Shar Dakhan ordered his warriors into suicide attacks against the invading fleet."
 * 4) ***Well that makes no sense to me. If they did something else then surrender wasn't the only option. Sigh. Whatever the Atlas says. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:51, December 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * You missed a description of the aftermath quote, so the source has become the description instead, and there is no ref tag. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:16, December 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:26, December 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) The Grand Master
 * 8) * Why the speculation here? "but the Koros forces, with numbers on their side and fueled by Teta's rhetoric, seemed too much." Also, the meaning is unclear. "Seemed too much" for what?
 * 9) **There isn't speculation in the sentence, or at least not intentionally. Reworded.
 * 10) * "The Sith Empire had fallen." Awfully short and choppy, and I can't help but feel that it's somewhat redundant. Please combine it or remove.
 * 11) **Removed.
 * 12) * The Great Hyperspace War template says that the Gank Massacres is the following conflict, whereas the infobox currently lists the Great Droid Revolution. Which is correct?
 * 13) **Gank Massacre seems to be correct. Changed.
 * 14) *Nice work. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:02, December 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks for the review.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 06:00, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Toprawa:
 * 17) *I had you create the Koros army article for one of your other TOTJ battle noms and asked you to go ahead and update the links in your other battle noms, which you clearly you have not done. This needs to be handled before I even think about reviewing any further. Full and accurate linking is a necessity in writing and reviewing articles, Floyd. Not an option. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:48, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Bah on a stick. I totally forgot about that. My mistake. I went ahead and did it just now, so check it out.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 01:08, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ***The link for Koros Army is now obsolete, as you can see by clicking. And, you still haven't linked every mention of the Teta's forces in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:32, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Changed, but I had already linked to it in both the intro and the body. The link to the article in the body is in the "Prelude" section, in case you missed it.
 * 21) Attack of the Clone
 * 22) * Fact tag in the article.
 * 23) **Addressed.
 * 24) *Watch linking and formatting, please.  CC7567  (talk) 21:08, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Siene Symm

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:50, December 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Go, Nien Nunb-lookalike from 1988!

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 15:51, December 31, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)   Chack Jadson  (Talk)  16:40, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:24, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The intro needs an expansion. I'm sure there's info to add to it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:01, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:14, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) "Also during this mission, Symm and the others in the Long Shot discovered that General Reekeene had been captured by Imperial forces and sent to the planet Flankers, whose sun would go nova in only hours. Symm piloted the Long Shot and fought the Imperials' defenses." Where did he fight the Imperials? I assume it's Flankers, but that info should be added in so this sentence doesn't stand out so much.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  17:07, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) *Have a look.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:16, January 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **I still feel that it's not as clear as it could be. "Wanting to save her, the crew of the Long Shot went to Flankers. Symm piloted the Long Shot and fought the Imperials' defenses. Later, a Squad was sent to rescue Reekeene; Symm kept them informed about the time they had before the impending doom." You seem to say that they went to Flankers to save her twice ("Wanting to save her, the crew of the Long Shot went to Flankers" and "Later, a Squad was sent to rescue Reekeene."). One of those is not needed, unless I am interpreting it wrong. Also, could you add "above Flankers" or whatever to the end of "Imperials' defenses?"  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:06, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:28, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Soresu should've gotten to this earlier, but better late then never, he says
 * 8) * Newbie is mostly gaming slang, please find a synonym.
 * 9) **Done.
 * 10) * The Empire did not know that the Long Shot was a Rebel ship, but they could discover it should they find the Long Shot there. Unclear. Discover is a synonym of find, you are basically saying they could find it should they find it. Please reword.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Again, paragraphing is a problem. I understand that some events may not be hugely related, but you must stay consistent with other GAs. The ones that I think could be merged are the first and last two of the bio, and last three of the P&T, as they are at least lightly linked to each other. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:14, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **Done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:20, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Matchstick

 * Nominated by:-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 16:41, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A cleaned-up clone

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Grammar issues still remain, to say the very least. I also hoped you've checked all sources for information.  CC7567  (talk) 17:21, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well I don't know what all of the sources are. I did recheck my sources.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 17:57, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **If you don't know what sources there might be, you can ask someone who is more familiar with TCW sources. You're missing at least the Star Wars: The Clone Wars: The Official Episode Guide: Season 1, and you'd do well to check it for info.  CC7567  (talk) 18:31, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Okay I took a look and what I saw really didn't help but than again it wasn't a full, hard copy. I added it as a source.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 19:57, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) ****For sources, be sure to double check the episode guide and its commentary, the TCW TCG cards, both visual guides, and possibly you can take a look within the The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia. I also do believe that Matchstick appeared briefly within the Wii game Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Lightsaber Duels, which I also have and can catch for you.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:34, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Okay well I don't have any of those books or that game so that could be a problem JangFett. I'll work with what I have. Oh yeah, what is the TCW TCG? I haven't seen anything pertaining to that.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 20:42, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ******The Clone Wars Campaign Guide. I still recommend that you either get your hands on an actual copy of The Official Episode Guide or contact someone that does because that's the only way to confirm that there isn't any info missing.  CC7567  (talk) 22:01, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) *******In the Star Wars PocketModel TCG article, you'll see two links that say "Clone Wars" and "Clone Wars Tactics". Both are TCW-related, and should have something about Matchstick. To see each individual card, you can refer to this website: . And yes, I'll check Lightsaber Duels for you.  JangFett  (Talk) 12:21, January 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ********Okay, I checked and the closest I could find was Matchsticks Y-wing which was of no help. Thank you for your help. I greatly appreciate it! Oh and CC, I checked a shelf copy of that book and I don't think I am missing anything.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 03:00, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) Attack of the Clone
 * 11) * Please continue to check your grammar. This should be the issue of least concern in all nominations.
 * 12) * I would recommend to read all other clone FA and GAs to see if you're missing anything.
 * 13) * "due to the breaking of procedure": what "breaking of procedure"?
 * 14) **This still remains. I'm striking all other objections and will review them later once other reviewers are finished.  CC7567  (talk) 22:00, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * How is Grievous at all related to the Malevolence?
 * 16) * Please make sure that every single detail in the article is directly relevant to Matchstick and shorten or remove whatever is not.
 * 17) **You told me in my last GANom that I had to have backround info.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:19, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***That does not mean simply summarizing the comic. If you need help on this one, I recommend reading any of the current character GAs.  CC7567  (talk) 22:24, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****I looked at a very similar article (one that you worked too) and it follows what I did.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:58, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *****Is anyone out there? Nobody has made a move for a while.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 21:40, January 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) * The Neebray did not "inhabit" the nebula.
 * 22) * "During this, Matchstick's fighter was damaged but he downplayed the damage across Koon, as the mantas did not cause any casualties apart from an astromech droid." Please check your grammar and somehow rephrase this to correctly use English idoms.
 * 23) * Check your linking for both overlinking and lack thereof.
 * 24) * I'm almost certain that you can use more quotes in this article.
 * 25) *More to come.  CC7567  (talk) 03:12, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **I can not find "due to breaking of procedure" in this article. I advise that you look at the article name first. What are the Neebray doing there if they are not inhabiting the nebula? Grievous was the commander of the Malevolence at that time.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 03:33, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***Please look more closely (and look exactly what you should be searching for) instead of assuming that I'm reading the wrong article. Also, if I'm asking a question in an objection, that means that it's unclear in the article, not that it's a factual question. You should therefore be clarifying it in the article instead of replying to me with the answer here. For the Neebray issue, you can find the answer by rewatching the episode; it's stated quite clearly there.  CC7567  (talk) 03:52, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****There. I believe I have fixed your problems. Also, in my last GANom attempt, you said that I needed to provide backround information and to write the article for a reader who only knew the 6 movies and their canon. I am simply following your teaching.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 21:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) Fett
 * 30) * In the infobox, "Rise of the Empire era" should not be sourced to the clone troopers databank entry, but rather the TCW novel instead. I corrected this, but please be aware of this.
 * 31) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) * As for the rest of the infobox sourcing, you need to go back and make sure everything is properly sourced. I am seeing certain information in the infobox that should not be sourced to the clone troopers db entry. The only correct sourcing I see so far is the era, homeworld, and and death listings.
 * 33) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * "During the Balmorra Run, Matchstick's bomber was damaged by a Neebray manta" During the Balmorra Run? That isn't factually correct. The Balmorra Run was a hyperspace lane (TCW created canon), and not a type of "run" (i.e Kessel Run). You may say the group took the hyperspace lane as a shortcut to out run the Malevolence, but in your own words of course. Also, the Balmorra Run also goes into the Kaliida Nebula.
 * 35) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) * There is a huge time gap between "During the Balmorra Run.." and the previous sentence. You fail to mention about Skywalker's plan (the meeting onboard the Resolute) or any relevant information regarding it. Right now, it sounds like the group took the new Y-Wing bombers and set off to join something called the "Balmorra Run". Please correct this.
 * 37) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "After coming out of the Kaliida Nebula, Shadow Squadron engaged the Malevolence and their Vulture droids." Whose Vulture droids? By saying "their" is the Malevolence a group or a warship? Quite confusing for the reader.
 * 39) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * "When the massive warship fired its ion cannon on the squadron, Matchstick's bomber's engines failed and he collided with fellow pilot Tag's Y-wing, killing both pilots and their gunners." So his starfighter was "destroyed" because of the ion ray? No, the ion ray cannot destroy an enemy starfighter, but disable it. You fail to mention about Skywalker's order to fly over the edge of the ray. And while Matchstick was doing so, his engines failed, due to the damage and stress it was enduring. The damage was caused by that Neebray.
 * 41) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) * In the intro, context on Grievous.
 * 43) **Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) *That's it for now. Please go back and correct these intro issues. Also, here's a tip to addressing objections: please make comments below each objection. It's quite easier for the objector to make comments and see what's done and not.  JangFett  (Talk) 01:59, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 45) **"After taking the bombers to Skywalker's flagship, the Venator-class Star Destroyer Resolute, Matchstick and Shadow Squadron were briefed by Skywalker and Admiral Wulff Yularen, the commander of the Resolute. Skywalker explained the plan of destroying the bridge tower of the Malevolence with the bombers in order to kill Confederate General Grievous, the commander of the Malevolence. Shortly thereafter, Yularen reported that Grievous had attacked a Republic medical convoy at Ryndellia. Since Ryndellia was near the Mid Rim planet of Naboo, and that Grievous had previously attacked a medical convoy, Skywalker concluded that Grievous' next attack was the Kaliida Shoals Medical Center. This facility contained over 60,000 injured clone troopers. Departing from the Resolute Master Plo Koon and Shadow Squadron followed Skywalker along the nearby Balmorra Run. This shortcut promised arrival at the medcenter before the Malevolence."
 * 46) **"As the ion cannon's ray approached the Republic squadron, Skywalker immediately ordered his fighters to head for the top edge of the ray, to avoid being neutralized. Despite the attempts of Shadow Squadron to evade, the ray deactivated three Y-wing bombers, as well as most of the Vulture droids. During the Squadron's evasive manuever, Matchstick's engines failed, causing his fighter to collide with fellow pilot Tag. The ships exploded killing both pilots and their gunners."
 * 47) ** Please take a detailed look at this article and its infobox please.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 21:15, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) ***RC 1138, I can only say that you must refer to other clone trooper GAs to get a sense of what sources should be listed in the infobox. His hair, eye, species and gender should be sourced to the episode, not the db entry. His height is the only suitable clone trooper db source. And as for the bio, if you say that he is the clone of Jango Fett, then that should be sourced to the db entry as well. Also, again, please make comments directly below each objection.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:41, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ****Complied-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 22:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) The Grand Master
 * 51) *Lots of awkward/incorrect phrasing. In small doses, this falls under, but in such large doses, this falls under GAN Rule 1.
 * 52) *Also some POV issues. Whether or not he died "in vain" would be one instance.
 * 53) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:13, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Added GAnom. ;)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  16:42, January 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Added link to his entry in the CUSWE.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:22, January 4, 2010 (UTC)

The Clone Wars: The Valley

 * Nominated by:  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 02:41, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Wow, this one was empty.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Before I even begin, you are missing sourcing in the infobox and BtS. The intro needs expanding. Please refer to TCW comic GAs to get a sense of what needs to be added in TCW comic OOU articles, i.e The Clone Wars: Procedure, The Clone Wars: The Fall of Falleen, The Clone Wars: Cold Snap, The Clone Wars: Transfer, and The Clone Wars: The Dreams of General Grievous.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:46, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Xd
 * 4) * Serious underlinking in plot. -- Xd1358  Talk 17:42, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 03:08, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Captain Typho goes to investigate, and finds three B1 battle droids.. You forgot the tactical droid.
 * 7) * and the unreliability of the sensors in the valleys may have fooled the sensors what?
 * 8) * spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike. You forgot the tactical droid here as well.
 * 9) **This one still remains.
 * 10) ***Changed to spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid.
 * 11) * Captain Typho contacts Queen Neeyutnee and Sio Bibble via hologram. Who is Bibble?
 * 12) *The Valley explains why Senator Amidala was on Naboo during the events of Blue Shadow Virus. What Blue Shadow virus?
 * 13) **Added clarity. It's a Clone Wars episode.
 * 14) * Xd1358 Talk 07:15, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Roger roger!  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 14:38, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Plot: Who is Bow and Chrin.
 * 17) **Added clarity.
 * 18) * Intro: Underlinking, check again. Xd1358  Talk 11:14, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **I think I got it.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 16:27, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * That sentence Suddenly, a security officer spots two B1 battle droids on STAPs and a B1 on a Flitknot speederbike, along with a tactical droid. is still pretty unclear. According to this image, there was no B1 on the speeder bike.
 * 21) **Fixed.
 * 22) ***"Chrin shoots the speederbike with a missile launcher; it and its pilot are immediately destroyed." The following sentence still implies there were two passengers on the speederbike.
 * 23) ****Fixed.
 * 24) * The droids are destroyed, and Senator Padmé Amidala is called back to Naboo to help. So, the droids are destroyed and she is called back. Nothing else? Xd1358  Talk 16:33, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Unfortunately, nothing else. The comic ends there.
 * 26) The Grand Master's first look
 * 27) * Just a couple small things right off the bat that I noticed that normally I would fix myself; however, I wanted to bring these up so that you know to avoid them in the future: please don't use an & symbol or parenthases in an article's prose.
 * 28) **Addressed.
 * 29) * The layout of the BTS does not match up with established precedents. Please see other TCW comic GAs for appropriate examples.
 * 30) **Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 18:19, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Good, but please check your sourcing. Right now, you have left a previously sourced statement unsourced. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 18:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****Addressed.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 00:08, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****This remains. The last statement of that paragraph was sourced before, but it isn't now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 03:43, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ******Fixed (I hope).
 * 35) *Possibly more to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:09, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Bogga

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:06, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I wrote this article while listening to Push it to the Limit. I now have that song memorized, and I think my life is better for it.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) —Tommy 9281  Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 18:37, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Not a merciful vote at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:39, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:29, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Blacklist:
 * 2) * "he leant a security crew..." What is "leant?"
 * 3) **Flerg. Meant to be "loaned"... I don't know how I messed that up. Addressed.
 * 4) * Your underlinking still knows no bounds.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * The first paragraph of Search for the Adegan crystals has too many different ideas jumbled into one paragraph. Please reorganize it so that like items are together and unrelated topics are separated, into different paragraphs if necessary.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * The grand sum to which Bogga refers is never stated to be credits in the source you have that statement referenced to, so either remove the link to Galactic Credit Standard or provide a source which explicitly states that credits are the payment Bogga expects to receive.
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) * More later. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 05:36, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Farlstendoiro the [Un-]Merciful One
 * 12) * Intro: Add "also known as Bogga the Merciful One", or at least "self-styled the Merciful One", as it is a relevant title (used to negotiate with Finhead).
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * Intro: If Thon and Bogga had had any relevant encounter before Andur's death, mention it chronologically.
 * 15) **Its not stated if they do.
 * 16) * Bio/Search: Like all Hutts, Bogga was a hermaphrodite, but had a masculine personality. Sounds like all Hutts were hermaphrodite and all Hutts have masculine personality, which is false. Please reword.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) * Bio/Search: Again, if Bogga knew Thon before Andur's death, it should be specified chronologically, specially if they became sworn enemies.
 * 19) **It isn't stated that they had any contact.
 * 20) * Bio/Dealings: by Captain Gruna, captain of an... Can you reword it so you don't use "captain" twice in a row?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) * Bio/Dealings: Also, Bogga ordered Gudb to accompany them, giving him Mandalorian chains that could even a Jedi prisoner. I think there's a verb missing somewhere in this sentence.
 * 23) **Yeah. Fixed.
 * 24) * Personality: When agitated, the Hutt had a tendency to start sentences in his native Huttese,[4] and also often referred to himself in the third person.[5] Does he use the third person only when agitated or not? I suggest rewording this sentence.
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * BtS: Depictions of Bogga seem to be more than inspired in known pictures Jabba from ROTJ. Do we know anything about this? Did any of the artists used Jabba as a model?
 * 27) **That would be speculation, as there isn't any info about a connection.
 * 28) * BtS: Tsk, tsk... Who voiced Bogga in the audio drama? (Tip: Bud Thorpe)
 * 29) **Flerg. Addressed.
 * 30) *The Great Farlstendoiro is pleased with this article ·:P Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:56, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) Soresu
 * 32) * It is unclear where some of the individuals are at certain times. For example, After threatening to let Ktriss kill and devour Gudb, Bogga gave him another chance and sent him with a team of enforcers to the surface of Ambria to retrieve the crystals. You don't mention that Bogga joined the enforcers planetside on Ambria.
 * 33) **I mentioned that they were at Ambria, but Bogga doesn't go onto the planet's surface, he stays in his sail barge.
 * 34) ***Well it sounds to me like he's with the ground team. Maybe just add, while Bogga remained on his sail barge. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ****Addressed.
 * 36) * Realizing that they had no chance of survival if they stayed and fought, Bogga fled the encounter. You make no mention of Gudb, leading to the assumption that he, along with the entire gang except for Bogga were killed. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:55, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( Floyd's crib ) 00:33, February 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Nashiak Llalik

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:38, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: His sister is a GA now and he must be jealous. Hm... Not really; OS says little about his personality. But I wanted someone from Alliance Intelligence Reports

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Much improved. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:49, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Xd's quick look
 * 2) * Do not link in quotes unless the subject isn't linked in the body.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * Combine the intro's two sections.
 * 5) **Done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Xd1358 Talk 13:43, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Per this forum, is he actually stated to be a human?
 * 8) **AIR, page 86, second-to-last line, specified by the omniscient narrator that writes the RPG stats. Btw, Sapph' is specified, too; CRO, page 63. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:47, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Just wanted to confirm :) Xd1358  Talk 14:52, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) The Grand Master
 * 11) * Seeing grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 12) **Still seeing several grammar problems.
 * 13) ***Second attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * The paragraphs in the bio are cut unnecessarily short.
 * 15) * The intro is rather unwieldy. It states some extraneous information (some of which really belongs more in the P&T), and also skips over some significant information from his bio.
 * 16) **This also remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 21:44, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Second attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 17:06, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Tried my best at all your objections. Have a look Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ***All of Jon's objections combined with the complete lack of the 1stm tag give me the increased feeling that you were rushing to nominate this. Skippy, I've seen you do better than this and I'm sure you can&mdash;as long as you take the time to be careful.  CC7567  (talk) 21:59, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Soresu
 * 22) * In his first days First days of what? Perhaps this would be more clear if you mentioned the venture beforehand.
 * 23) **Better?
 * 24) * obtained a degree being to of the class. Is this meant to be "being top of"?
 * 25) **Typo. Changed.
 * 26) * You seems to have mixed up the words in and on. In means inside, on means... I can't think up a proper definition :P Please check for mistakes.
 * 27) **Better?
 * 28) * There are more grammar mistakes than usual for your noms. Give it a thorough readthrough. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:00, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) ***Tryin' my best. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) The Grand Master II
 * 31) *"He graduated from the Chandrilan Academy of Sciences and was recruited by COMPNOR and assigned to the Coalition for Progress during his youth." This is somewhat long-winded; also, he did all of this during his youth?
 * 32) *The infobox is currently incomplete. Please add the missing fields (even if they are unfilled)
 * 33) *Is Alliance Intelligence Reports a source for Death Watch and Sun Guard being "notorious, historical military groups"?
 * 34) *Any reason COMPNOR and the Coalition for Progress aren't listed under affiliations?
 * 35) *"for a better goal" This is rather POV.
 * 36) *"which was in opposition to his beloved armors." Do we know for certain that this is true? (i.e. does the source say that his armors did not fit loosely?)
 * 37) *"particularly power armors and certain specific designs such as the Radtrooper, the Zero-G and the Storm Commando." It sounds like you're lising troop types here, not armor types.
 * 38) *The BTS's current wording is confusing: when you say "written by several authors," are you referring to the Alliance Intelligence Reports or Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game?
 * 39) *In the bio and intro, you state that Llalik did not support the Galactic Empire, but in the P&T you state that Saren believed he didn't support the Empire. Which is true? Does the source actually state that he didn't support the Empire, or is this just Saren's belief?
 * 40) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:58, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Sapphire (smuggler)

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:38, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've been wanting to nominate a strong, Rebel, female smuggler for a long time. But Roget Jiriss offers too much resistance...

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:23, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Xd's quick look
 * 2) * As with above, combine the intro's sections.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * Could you also combine sections in the bio. It almost looks like a list right now.
 * 5) **Done.
 * 6) * Xd1358 Talk 13:45, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) The Grand Master's first look
 * 8) * Bio contains significant info that can be mentioned in the intro.
 * 9) **Better, but there's still some shuffling of information that should be done. It now contains some extraneous info, and I'm still seeing some stuff in the bio that should be mentioned in the intro.
 * 10) ***2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:48, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * I'm seeing some grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 12) **Better, but still seeing a few issues here. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 21:52, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ***2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:48, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:05, February 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Better? Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:54, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) Soresu
 * 17) * Big one: You have conflicting birthdates between the P&T, infobox, and body.
 * 18) **Changed. I'm bad at BBY-ABY algebra :(
 * 19) ***Hang on. 19 BBY? That would mea that she's 20 or 21 depending on birth date by 22 BBY, but you say she's 22 in the P&T. By my count, she should be born in either 20 or 21 BBY, once again depending on birthdate. I think we had a discussion about birthdate assumptions awhile back, but I can't seems to find it. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:11, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ****Then, changed again. OS says she was 22 as of 2 ABY. Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:19, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) *****Lol just put an "or" in huh? 11:23, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * Unable to join the Academy, Sapphire turned to smuggling It could be made clearer why he was unable. Was it because she was too disgraced, because she was, law-wise, banned for her parent's crimes, or what?
 * 23) **OS doesn't specify; not changed.
 * 24) * Sapphire hoped to find Tizzin. You haven't established exactly why she wants to. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:19, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Motive added to 1st paragraph of bio. Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:32, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) Stuff:
 * 27) * "During this time, she looked after Tizzin to get revenge on him for the death of her parents." Looked after? That implies that she cared for him while he was sick or something. Do you mean looked for, or something?
 * 28) **Yes. Changed.
 * 29) * In the intro, you say "...in an accident due to the incompetence of..." Could you change that to something like "due to an error by?" I feel that since you use similar phrasing in the body, it should be changed. Plus it seems to be a bit POV, or at the very least, just isn't the best wording to use in the intro.
 * 30) **Changed in both. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:46, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *More to come, possibly.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:04, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) *"pretending to be a non-political smuggler" This doesn't flow well. Could you say "she pretended to be apathetic about politics" or something of that nature?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:47, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 21:59, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Saadoon-Kauldi

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:51, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "I told you I didn't want any new Hutt crimelord for this RPG book, but that doesn't mean you are entitled to use your AD&D knowledge and create a dragon crimelord"

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Where's the intro...=P  Xd1358  Talk 13:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *The dragon ate it :P Seriously: Added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) The Grand Master's First Look
 * 4) * The bio is extremely unwieldy; for its length it could use subsections, and, once again, why are there so many small paragraphs?
 * 5) **Tried to change bio and to mix paragraphs. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * I'm seeing a lot of underlinking.
 * 7) **More links added. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***This remains. I'm still seeing quite a bit of underlinking, but you've now got some overlinking as well, and you've also linked to several redirects. Please try to clean these up.
 * 9) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *****Once again; this remains, albeit to a lesser extent. Please please please check and double-check all of your linking. You've been nominating articles for a while now, and this isn't something that I should have to reiterate. Also, was his criminal empire significant enough to deserve its own article; and why is there no article for his massacre on the slaver galleon?
 * 11) ******Tried my best. Created articles on skirmishes and his empire, even if I don't think they're significant at all. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:01, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) *******Partially better, but you've still got VERY messy linking. Things should be linked once in the intro, once in the body, and (if applicable) once in the infobox. Things should only be pipelinked if necessary (i.e. officers, not officers ) and if pipelinking, make sure the first letter is capitalized (i.e. butchered the slavers, not butchered the slavers ). Also, try to avoid pipelinking to more than just a small phrase (i.e. this: dedicate all of his resources to the abduction of slaver ships is rather eccentric; it could very easily be worded differently so that the link only covers a few words). Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 22:20, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ********Done all that. I admit, I didn't know some of those. Skippy Farlstendoiro 17:39, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *********Much better. I'll give the article another review soon. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:36, February 23, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Details have not been revealed" sounds awfully OR/speculative & OOU.
 * 16) **Details were not revealed IU; only rumors. Anyway, changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***This still doesn't make sense. I'm not even sure that such an "unconfirmed rumor" belongs in an article.
 * 18) ****Removed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * Also seeing some grammatical errors.
 * 20) **Hope some less now. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Better, but still seeing several errors. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:14, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****2nd attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:18, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Much better. Still seeing a few minor errors, but most fall under so I'll strike for now and hopefully find the time to give this another full review and copyedit sometime soon.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) * "and became a spice lord and a crimelord, strangely basing his power&hellip;" Strangely is way too POV.
 * 25) **Changed. Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:41, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:40, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) The Grand Master II
 * 28) *The P&T is exceptionally extensive. It needs to be cut down some.
 * 29) *"intelligent, shrewd, stealthy and cultured" Does the source explicitly state these?
 * 30) *"Saadoon-Kauldi was said to reward efficient employees with money and favors, and to forgive employees who failed him once." "Was said?" Is it known whether he actually did or not?
 * 31) *"and sometimes admired as if he were a member of the Royalty." "The Royalty?" Whose royalty? There were lots of royalties in the galaxy.
 * 32) *"This person had no enemies among the criminals, except for the slavers, and was well regarded even by certain law enforcement agencies." Who do you mean, "this person"? Kauldi or a Hutt? (Either way, "person" does not work here)
 * 33) *"He believed in respecting the people he dealt with, even if he was in superiority of conditions." This is rather confusing. What exactly do you mean?
 * 34) *"This gave him several satisfactions, such as the Socorran Navy offering to send their ships should he ever needed his help." How is that a "satisfaction?" Wouldn't that be more of a favor?
 * 35) *Does the source actually state he became "paranoid"?
 * 36) *"Increasingly big and more restless, Saadoon-Kauldi wanted some permanent roots as of 0 ABY." What exactly do you mean, he "wanted some permanent roots?"
 * 37) *"Some Socorrans believed that, when that happened, Saadoon-Kauldi would go to the frozen surface of Neftali and disappear inside some cave." Do you literally mean that he would "disappear?" Either way, is this sentence really significant to the P&T?
 * 38) *The timeline of events in the bio is very murky because you give absolutely no dates. Even if exact BBY/ABY dates aren't always known, could you at least give some relative dating throughout the article (i.e. "shortly after the outbreak of the Galactic Civil War"; "at some point prior to the Galactic Civil War"; "shortly after the destruction of the Death Star"; "around the time of&hellip" etc.)?
 * 39) *Does the source state that the Kadri'Ra were "dragon-like"?
 * 40) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 22:25, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Added GAnom template.-- RC 1138 Republic Emblem.svg hate bugs! 23:44, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

Xash

 * Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 03:46, February 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a dope GAN to step to...

(1 ACs/3 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) No problems with the brother.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  21:02, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 11:02, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:40, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:59, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * confronting a Jedi: a few things unclear here. The quote says that Xash wanted to take on Dray alone, something not mentioned in the bio or P&T.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Xash's sister continued to fight the Jedi, The quote seems to indicate that Xash was in a 1v1. If Sindra continued to fight, then why isn't she mentioned earlier? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:44, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, Soresu. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 02:10, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) Just noticed Soresu's comment below, and would like to notify you that we use metric here. If you want to convert the "nearly 100 feet" to meters and ref that with a note that you changed it, that would work, or you could just say "a great distance" or something.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:24, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) *I'm horrible at math but I believe I got the conversion right :P Addressed. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 23:27, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) The only issue I have is that the girl they were searching for is mentioned in this sentence in the P/T -Upon sight of Xash and his sister, the young girl acknowledged them as evil and was thus afraid. - but the earlier sections of the article imply that the twins only met Dray. Maybe you could add something in a little earlier regarding them actually meeting/seeing the girl. Cylka  -talk- 03:38, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * The OS said "nearly a hundred feet" with regards to Xash being thrown into the tree. I added the "nearly" in.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  21:02, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * No problem. Thanks again for the review. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 21:04, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Sindra

 * Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 02:54, February 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Twin sister and supporting nom to the gentleman above.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  20:48, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:29, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 15:13, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Nayayen
 * 2) * In the intro, "She taunted him after knocking him to the ground". It isn't that clear who you are referring to here at first.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * What do you mean by "Force examination"?
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * "Sindra refused the offer . . . allowed Xash to duel him first." The clause at the end of this sentence doesn't make sense at the moment.
 * 7) **Reworked it slightly, see how it looks now.
 * 8) * The last sentence in the Bts seems rather irrelevant, is it really needed?
 * 9) **That was added based on some IRC objections I went through with an Inq for Thannor Keth, who felt that the information was relevant. Because Sindra is from the same story, I added it to her BtS as well. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 20:28, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) *Otherwise good. Just the sort of character I'd have thought you'd get around to at some point.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  20:05, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Really, why is that? Thanks for the review, Nayayen, please advise if anything further is required.
 * 12) ***You've promoted a fair few Sith-related articles so this wouldn't be an unusual article for you to write, I guess.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  20:48, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) ****Ahh, I've become predictable. I see it's time to switch up my style :P —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 20:49, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) Soresu
 * 15) * Just one: Could the quote descriptions be, well, more descriptive? You pretty much state the speakers, but provide no context/description beyond that. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 12:57, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) **Addressed. Thank you for the review, Soresu. Please advise if anything further is required. —Tommy 9281 Mechnochair negwt.jpg ( Mechno-chair ) 14:58, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Skirmish aboard the Coronet

 * Nominated by: Axinal
 * Nomination comments: My first attempt to seriously improve an article to GA standards. I'll appreciate any help I can get.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1)  Kryze Xd
 * 2) *This is what I saw when checking it quickly:
 * 3) * Combine intro into one/two paragraphs.
 * 4) **Finished with that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) * Too many subsections within the body.
 * 6) **Reduced from three to two. Do you think it should be just one?Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Always refer to people using their last names after the first mention.
 * 8) **Fixed that, though I still use "the Duchess" in some places, and "Satine's guard" is used instead of "Kryze's guard," since the respective article is Satine's guard.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Severe underlinking.
 * 10) **Fixed as much as I could find, but I'll keep looking. Thanks for your help.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *More to come. Xd  13:42, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) Karika
 * 13) * Date in infobox needs to be sourced. Fine with me, if anyone could check TCW novel, thanks.
 * 14) **I'm having trouble with that. Aside from a definitive CW timeline as yet to be released, good Clone Wars articles like Battle of Nexus Ortai aren't sourced at all. Any pointers? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Another user sourced the date with The Clone Wars (novel). I haven't read it, so I'm not sure if it can be used as a source in this case. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 16) * Like Xd said, underlinking. Lightsaber, blaster, and blaster pistol are a few.  Darth Karika Please leave a message after the beep. *boom* 13:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) **Read the article over and improved most of the linking. I'll keep looking. Thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) Fett's preliminaries
 * 19) * Missing Ref tags in the infobox.
 * 20) **Everything in the infobox is sourced now. Is there still something missing? Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Not to butt in, but the ref tags are still missing. Xd  14:44, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ****Not at all. I guess I'm not really sure what a ref tag is. Can you give me an example? Thanks. Axinal 16:22, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Ref tags have now been addressed, though I'm not sure I quite see what the difference is. Thanks for your help!
 * 24) * The entire infobox must be properly sourced. Please take a look at other past TCW GAs to help you. Currently, the "c. 22 BBY" needs to be properly sourced. The episode or its guide aren't valid sources for this.
 * 25) **As I mentioned above, some good CW articles aren't sourced at all. Is there a reason for this, and do you know where I can find a proper source for the date? Thanks.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **Date was sourced with The Clone Wars (novel) by another user. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***What do you mean, some good CW articles aren't sourced? Could you please point them out to me? Some articles aren't sourced, but that's just because they're not GAs/FAs, which have to be sourced.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I'm not sure if "sourced" was the right word. Battle of Nexus Ortai has no references in the infobox, which I think is what JangFett meant when he said that "c. 22 BBY" needed to be properly sourced. Axinal 17:35, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) *****That article doesn't need sourcing because it's self-sourcing. If a subject (i.e, Battle of Nexus Ortai) doesn't appear more than once, it could self-source. However, any subject that's from the TCW television series, the film, or any related video game it has to be properly sourced because it appeared in more than one source. (i.e, information could be in the episode's Online Episode Guide, the video game's prima guide, TCW visual guides). For this battle GAN, you need to double check the episode guide and episode and make sure every detail is added in the article. That said, make sure "c. 22 BBY" is sourced to the TCW novel.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:25, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) ******You can generally use "sourcing" and "referencing" interchangeably. :P  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:02, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) *******Ah. Thanks. :)
 * 32) ********Yes, thank you, Chack. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * The intro needs to be merged into one paragraph, as it doesn't need to have three small separate ones. And you must include "around 22 BBY".
 * 34) **Finished there. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) ***Missing something about the "Clone Wars".
 * 36) ****What do you mean by that? Do I need to specify that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars? Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) ****The Prelude now mentions that the skirmish took place during the Clone Wars around 22 BBY. Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) * "As the Clone Wars escalated" is not a proper intro starter. We don't know when this battle took place on the timeline.
 * 39) **Fixed Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) * You don't need to have subsections within the prelude. Also, you're missing quotes for the prelude and each subsection of the bio.
 * 41) **Thanks, I'll get rid of the subsection. Do I need quotes for every subsection? The nomination rules says at least one quote is necessary, but doesn't require more than one. I'll keep working on that, though.Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) ***Added quotes to the two subsections under The Skirmish.Axinal 22:46, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) ****Added quote to the Prelude. Axinal 01:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 44) * Your BtS needs work too. Please take a look of some of the passed TCW GAs to help you. It's missing the original airdate, and I would remove that bit of trivial information as well.
 * 45) **I'll work on that, thanks. Axinal 23:01, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:29, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 47) * Few more for now: Your prelude needs to be entirely fixed. Right now, it reads like a short summary of "The Mandalore Plot," which isn't how a prelude works. You need to describe what happened directly before this skirmish began.
 * 48) **I rewrote the Prelude, but I'm not sure how much can be done there, considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish. Axinal 19:45, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) ***"considering that the events of TMP lead directly into the skirmish." That's exactly what should be in a prelude.
 * 50) ****Prelude has been addressed. Axinal 05:44, February 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * "During the trip, the Duchess's ship was attacked by the rogue group Death Watch, aided by the Confederacy." Please be careful when you're talking about an organization. It's "the Death Watch" not "Death Watch". Also why are they "rogue"? Quite confusing. I suggest removing that bit from the sentence.
 * 52) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * "As clone troopers searched the ship for suspicious activity," What suspicious activity?
 * 54) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * " Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, who was in league with Death Watch" What did he do to reveal the senator was the traitor? Also, again, what do you think is wrong with this sentence?
 * 56) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) ***"Using one of the probe killers, Kenobi revealed the traitor to be Senator Tal Merrik, the only one that the probe did not try to attack." Okay, but now it reads awkwardly.
 * 58) ****Addressed that. It's now more specific than I had intended, but it reads much better. Axinal 16:38, February 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) * "The Senator called for the aid of Pre Vizsla," Called?
 * 60) **Fixed. Specified to show that he contacted Vizsla via hologram. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 61) * "In the battle that followed, the battle droids were defeated, and Merrik was killed by Skywalker." What battle? I'm confused here. There should be no separate battle other than the skirmish. Be careful here, as this will greatly confuse your readers
 * 62) **Fixed. Axinal 19:20, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 63) *Another review on the way.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 64) Toprawa:
 * 65) * Considering there's going to be a third part to this Mandalorian TCW trilogy thingamabob, if not more episodes, your "Aftermath" section is already going to need an update, which means this article fails to meet GAN Rule 5. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 66) **And just FYI to the nominator, this is why we don't recommend writing and immediately nominating articles on subjects that just came out in canon, like in an on-going TV program or an on-going comic. Because odds are the subject's development is not done, and there's going to be a new information that needs updating, which isn't good for an existing nomination or status article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:43, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 67) ***Yeah, I suppose I would have done well by waiting until next week. Thanks Axinal 21:00, February 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 68) ***Aftermath has now been updated with information from Duchess of Mandalore. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 69) Xd, round two
 * 70) * The prelude is pretty minimal.
 * 71) **Expanded a bit. Let me know what you think. Axinal 00:36, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 72) ***You could still add the TCW trademark "In 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars..."
 * 73) ****Added, though I used "Around 22 BBY" rather than "In".
 * 74) * Is that Mixer image really necessary?
 * 75) **Well, a requirement for GAs is a "reasonable" number of images. I can probably find a different image if you think the Mixer one is unnecessary. Axinal 22:15, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 76) **Image has been replaced. Axinal 07:20, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 77) * Standardize your paragraph length.
 * 78) **Seems pretty consistent to me, but I can work on it if you can specify. Thanks. Axinal 05:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 79) ***Fair enough.
 * 80) * Xd 19:56, February 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 81) * Underlinking in prelude.
 * 82) **I didn't link Obi-Wan Kenobi, Duchess Satine, Pre Vizsla, Coruscant, Anakin Skywalker, Confederacy, Death Watch, etc, because they were all mentioned/linked in the introduction.
 * 83) ***You have to link everything possible one time in the infobox, one time in the intro and one time in the main body.
 * 84) ****Ah, I understand. Linked what I could see. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 85) * "and uncovered a plot by Pre Vizsla to overthrow.." Who's Vizsla. Context on him.
 * 86) **Addressed. Specified that Vizsla is the Governor of Concordia. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 87) ***Still put in there something about him being the leader of Death Watch.
 * 88) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 89) * "Anakin Skywalker and several clones were sent to Mandalore.." What clones?
 * 90) **Changed to "several clones, including Cody, Rex, Mixer, and Redeye . . ." Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 91) ***I've taken care of it, but in future, you have to specify they were clone troopers.
 * 92) ****Okay, thanks for that.
 * 93) * "The clones were ordered to search the Coronet.." What Coronet? Again, context.
 * 94) **It's mentioned in the introduction that Satine's ship is the Coronet. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 95) ***You have to provide context whether it is mentioned in the intro or not.
 * 96) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 97) *****I still don't see any context.
 * 98) ******Done the best I could there. Specified that the clones are aboard the Coronet, the Duchess's ship. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 99) * Mention that both Mixer and Redeye are clones.
 * 100) **Mentioned in the introduction. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 101) ***Still needs a mention in the main body.
 * 102) ****Addressed. Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 103) * I'd replace the infobox clone trooper casualties with "Clone troopers" instead of "Mixer" and "Redeye".
 * 104) **Sure. Do you think just clone troopers, or some clone troopers, or 2 clone troopers? Axinal 22:35, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 105) ***Just, IMO.
 * 106) ****Addressed. Thanks for all your help! Axinal 19:50, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 107) * A probe killer attacked Cody and Rex. Who's Cody?
 * 108) **Specified as Commander Cody, and mentioned in the prelude that Cody is among the clones sent with Anakin to Mandalore. Axinal 22:26, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 109) * I don't see why the last sentence of the BtS is relevant to this article.
 * 110) **I guess it wasn't. Removed. Axinal 05:32, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 111) * Xd 05:53, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 112) Fett II
 * 113) * In the infobox, I think you can add more for the "results" of the battle. I.e, assassin probes destroyed, Merrik failed to destroy the ship, what happened to the battle droids?
 * 114) **If I may intervene here, that's not really necessary info for the outcome of the battle. All it really needs is something stating that the Death Watch/Separatist plot was foiled (and even that would be optional, as that would be covered by the Republic victory). Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 115) ***Battle droids are still an option, though.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 116) ****I fail to see how that is necessary. Per tons of other GA precedents, it has never really been done, because it isn't needed. That's what the casualties section is for. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:46, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 117) *****I see your point there, Jonny. Sorry for the confusion.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:48, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 118) * "Around 22 BBY, Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were sent to escort Duchess Satine Kryze and several senators to Coruscant so the Duchess could defend herself against the claims that she was in league with the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Tense and minor grammatical issues are a problem in this sentence.
 * 119) **If I may intervene here as well, there is nothing wrong with that sentence grammar or tense-wise. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:40, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 120) ***Yeah, I corrected it during my copyedit. It's taken care of.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:43, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 121) * Fact tag in the bio.
 * 122) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 123) * In the bio, you say "(and secretly the leader of the Death Watch)", however, please don't use parenthesis to identify context, as it's frown upon and unencyclopedic. I would change the parenthesis to an "mdash", though, I wanted to let you know.
 * 124) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 125) * "were sent to Mandalore to help Kenobi escort the Duchess to Coruscant, where she could defend herself in the Senate." Defend herself against what?
 * 126) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 127) *There are many tiny paragraphs throughout the "skirmish" and "Merrik" sub sections. Please go through each paragraph and merge them together to form proportional, concise paragraphs. Proper formatting is an issue I see with this article. And once that's done, please neatly reorganize your three images. The two that are in the "Merrik" sub section are close to each other and need to be spread apart.
 * 128) * " However, before he could act on his suspicions, he, too was attacked." Attacked by what? Also, please clarify or reword "before he could act on his suspicions". Quite confusing.
 * 129) **Addressed. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 130) *"Skywalker joined the clones to help in their search. They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." I have been seeing these short, choppy sentences throughout the "skirmish" section. It would be appropriate if you add more detail, though, don't get too "play by play" of the situation.
 * 131) **Addressed choppy sentences. See what you think now. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 132) *I'm seeing a lack of tranisiton between "They discovered a cargo crate with the cover open and the contents missing." and "As Skywalker and the clones continued to search the area, Skywalker noticed Redeye walking toward him.". If they found some crate with its lid open, why is this prominently mentioned and then they ignore it and keep searching? If the crate is important, please explain what's its purpose.
 * 133) **Addressed that. Axinal  Convocation Chamber 04:45, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 134) * "However, Redeye wasn't answering Skywalker's questions." You never have mentioned that Skywalker was talking to Redeye. Please be careful, as it will confuse the reader.
 * 135) **Addressed. Thanks for the pointers! Axinal  Convocation Chamber 03:04, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 136) *That's it for now. I'll contiune with "Merrik's betrayal" soon. Please watch your linking, tense, and overall coherency. Formatting is a major issue I see right now.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) *Just about all objections have been addressed. If Xd, Toprawa, and JangFett want to take another look to make sure they are satisfied, I'd be much obliged. Thanks again! Axinal 00:37, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hero of Tatooine

 * Nominated by:  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:09, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first nomination ever, hoping I did a good job. Thanks to Xicer9 for a preliminary review.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Your first vote ever, then. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:53, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Pre-nom review. Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 00:14, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Round One
 * 2) * "The hermit made his opposition of the Galactic Empire clear within the first few minutes of the two's dialogue, a view the spacer shared." It's been a while since I played that quest, but are you sure that the spacer agreed with the hermit? It sounds kinda pov-ish, and the spacer could have been aligned with the Empire.
 * 3) **As I noted in the Behind the scenes section, if, during your conversation, you make your support for the Empire clear to the hermit, he will refuse to talk to you, so no quest happens if you do.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It's good for now. Also, I haven't read the BtS yet. ;)  JangFett  (Talk)
 * 5) * You say "spacer" quite a lot throughout the intro and parts of the bio.
 * 6) **I tried to vary it as much as possible with other synonyms for it from the spacer article. I went through and used more, as well as terms like "would-be hero".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * "The hermit wondered if the spacer could become worthy of being named a hero, which the spacer boastfully claimed they could." Hero of what? Also, this sentence is quite confusing. You say that the hermit wondered if the spacer can be that hero, although in the next part you say they could.
 * 8) **This little bit is taken almost verbatim from the conversation between the two. First the hermit is unsure, and your response is to say that you can be the hero, and has the hermit respond that maybe you could. SWG at its very worst writing, I'm afraid. However, it doesn't really belong in the intro, so I removed it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***"The hermit required the spacer to show good faith toward him. He told the spacer to find a squill] skull he had misplaced, which the spacer retrieved. The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become the Hero of Tatooine." These short, choppy sentences can be condensed into one sentence. Also, keep in mind of pbp (play by play). pbp is discouraged, as it's not encyclopedic.
 * 10) ****Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * "The hermit then agreed to help the spacer become a hero." A hero of what?
 * 12) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * The intro is unusually structured, and could be condensed.
 * 14) **Condensed it into two paragraphs.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * Be careful, as I see numerous of tense shifting in the intro.
 * 16) **Hopefully adressed. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) * I see this "hero" pop up throughout the intro, and, as the reader, I don't quite understand what is going on. Can you explain eariler in the intro what this "hero" is about? I know what you mean (Galaxies-wise), but not everyone played the game.
 * 18) **Fixed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) * As for the intro condensing, the second paragraph of the intro has too much detail. You can explain what these "four traits" are, but straight-to-the-point. Same goes for the third paragraph too.
 * 20) **Fixed, condensed all four into a simple description of each task and rolled the third paragraph into the second.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Good job with the condensing of the paragraphs; however, I'm not sure what you meant with this sentence: "For the first task, one of intellect, the would-be hero found a bounty hunter in one of the settlements on Tatooine and assisted her in discovering who her target was amongst a group of smugglers." Specifically, "one of intellect". Same goes with "one of courage".
 * 22) ****It was meant to refer to the aforementioned task. While I don't see how it could be confusing, I clarified them.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 10:06, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) *****Yes; clarification was needed.
 * 24) *That's it for now. I'll read the first section of "history" once the intro objections are fixed.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Hopefully this has all been addressed so you can move on to the next part. :)  OLIOSTER  (talk) 08:52, February 13, 2010 (UTC)


 * 1) Skippy Farlstendoiro objects the quest
 * 2) * Intro: I strongly believe that the qualities (Intellect, Honor, Courage, Altruism) should not use capital letters; they probably do so only as in-game words. Besides, in the History, they don't use capital letters.
 * 3) **Agreed, changed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Hist/A strange hermit:"the spacer quickly declared that they could become a hero." Do you mean he could? This is repeated in further paragraphs: "He told the spacer that if they truly wished", eg. I think "the spacer" can also be a group of spacers (players) and you alternatively refer to "the spacer" in singular or plural.
 * 5) **I used gender-neutral terms because the spacer, or spacers, can be any sex and virtually any species, or at least one of the playable species in SWG (Wookiee, Human, Rodian, etc). Also, the word they can refer to a single person, just something I had to use to keep it gender-neutral. As for using a group of spacers, while it is possible for a full group of 8 (the maximum in the game) to complete the quest together, the narrative of it is setup as if one person completed it at one time.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * The Mark of Intellect: Can you specify which "detective work" was performed to find the target? Interrogation, searching pockets, intimidation?
 * 7) **Clarified, it was interrogation.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * The Mark of Honor: 1st paragraph. Let me see. The hermit met with the pirates and told the pirates to look for the two besieged ranchers the pirates were already harassing?
 * 9) **Clarified a bit that he is talking to the spacer.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * If the "startled woman" is Helen Goldenfield, I suggest to add her name to the text. Also, her husband's.
 * 11) **Made their names visible in the body.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) * The Mark of Altruism: Context on the Sennex on first mention.
 * 13) **Added that they were a criminal group in their first mention of that section.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 13:52, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) *Good job; I'm waiting for your next nom. Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:09, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) The Grand Master's first look
 * 16) * Just at first glance, I'm seeing linking issues. Remember, link everything once in the intro and once in the body.
 * 17) **Could you elaborate?  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) ***I don't see how further elaboration is necessary. Simply put, the article's linking is currently inadequate. Please go through the article and make sure that everything is linked appropriately. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) ****Went through and linked some more things, but if you see anymore, please be specific.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) *Also seeing lots of unnecessary fluff. Remember, this is an article about a title; anything that is not of significant importance to the title should be removed. (i.e. is any of the following really necessary: "The star-hopper greeted the old man and they began to chat, the spacer initially wondering what someone was doing living in the bottom of a cave filled with such ferocious creatures. The hermit explained that he had lived there for so long, the squill no longer bothered him. The conversation quickly turned to the sad state the galaxy was in, the hermit bemoaning the fact that criminals and pirates traveled freely, that the Old Republic had been shattered, the Jedi hunted to extinction, and that over all this, the shadow of the Galactic Empire loomed overhead." ?)
 * 21) **While I agree the initial part about why the hermit was living in the cave isn't necessary and I removed it, I believe the second part is needed to understand the reasoning behind the title and the adventure that went into it.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 05:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) ***I understand where you're coming from, but I still think it's too fluffily worded; a couple parts of the article could easily be cut down to be more concise. Also remember, this article should be mainly about the title. Right now it sounds more like it's about these characters' storylines. (And I understand that the quest is important, but right now it seems to be the article's focus, as opposed to the title itself. Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 23) ****The article being less about the title and more about the adventure that went into it's creation and how the spacer gained it is intentional. I was trying to find a way to present these events and I didn't see any better way to go about it. The title is informal and didn't exist until the spacer did the things they did (which I added a note about to the intro).  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *****Okay, but the fact remains that this article is supposed to be about the title. What I would suggest to do would be to state the basic steps required to recieve the separate Marks and eventually the Hero of Tatooine title, and then just summarize how the spacer did it.) Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) ******I trimmed down the intro. Look it over and see if that is what you were looking for. However, I must still disagree with this objection for the various reasons I have already stated.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 20:39, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) *******Yes, the intro looks fine now, but it's the body I'm concerned about. The point I'm trying to make is that this is an article about a title. Trying to include every aspect of the quest in this article would be like taking the Jedi Master article and explaining how each Jedi Master made it to the Jedi Master level (including each and every mission along the way that helped to elevate them to the position), which would not only make the whole article very unwieldy but would also completely lose the focus of what the article was about to begin with. That information belongs in the character article; not the article about the title. As a title article, it should have information about the title itself, and then a summary of how the title could be obtained. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 23:14, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ********OK, by your reasoning, to me, there's no reason to have anything past the intro, which isn't much of an article to me.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 00:59, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) *********That's not what I'm suggesting; the main point is that this is an article about a title and not an event. Therefore, the article's focus should be the title and a summary of how it is acquired. The way it reads now, it sounds like the article is about the storyline/quest. Yes, the quest is essential to the title, but it does not need to be nearly so play-by-play as it is now. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 01:21, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:20, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) *I understand that the spacer's gender has not been confirmed, but please use other pronouns than "they", because this can be confusing. (i.e. at the beginning of the body, you say "In 1.5 ABY, during the height of the Galactic Civil War, a lone spacer was exploring the Squill Cave on Tatooine. They ventured deep&hellip;" "They" who? I'd suggest using "the spacer" and synonyms for such. Also, please make a note of this unconfirmed gender in the BTS.
 * 31) **Hopefully addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Still seeing lots of "They"s referring to the spacer. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) * Also in the BTS, you should never address the reader as "you"; instead, simply refer to "the player" and synonyms for such. ("If the player is a supporter of the Galactic Empire and tells the hermit such when you initially talk to him, the hermit will refuse to offer the quest and tells you to return to him when your opinions have evolved.") Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:47, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Addressed.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:05, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * Also, please change the "A strange hermit" heading, as "strange" is too POV. Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 17:24, February 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 36) **Changed the heading to "The hermit in the cave".  OLIOSTER  (talk) 17:38, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * O_o our first title nom too. Not an easy task, since there's no set layout or infobox to use. Kinda reminds me of Grunny's first nom. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 15:33, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes it did seem rather daunting to take on something without any precedent, but I really liked the quest chain and wanted to do it justice.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 15:39, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Grunta

 * Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 20:40, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This article is short like a Dug.

(0 ACs/4 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Only objection fixed, has my support.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 00:47, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:28, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:08, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:15, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Object


 * 1) Just one note
 * 2) * In the intro, it says "In 0 ABY, a few months after the Battle of Yavin, Grunta encountered the rebels Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, who were accompanied by Han Solo...", where it says Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, since it only mentions two people, shouldn't it be separated by an "and" instead of a comma? Just looks off the way it is now. Other than that, looks good.  OLIOSTER  (talk) 23:55, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fixed. ToRsO bOy 00:46, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Call me Skippy. It'd be my pleasure to object your article. Friend.
 * 5) * Bio: Mention that Grunta lived in Muunilinst, and/or that Pilaan was in Muunilinst.
 * 6) **Lol at the intro. Residency in Pilaan mentioned. ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Exactly my point: No information should be only in the intro. Objection pending. Skippy Farlstendoiro
 * 8) ****Sorry I'm not clear on this. What info did I leave only on the intro? I already mentioned Grunta resided on Muunilinst on both intro and bio. ToRsO bOy 09:02, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * With Grunta's death, all of the other Muuns who were competing against Kenuun were… "All of the other Muuns"? But Grunta was not a Muun, and no other Muun was mentioned in this section. I don't get it.
 * 10) **Fixed. ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * Ultimate Alien Anthology mentions that a Dug is roughly 1 meter tall, so Grunta would not be "considerably shorter than most of his kind." How do you think we could reword this article to not contradict U.A.A.?
 * 12) **Reworded.ToRsO bOy 22:57, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:31, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

R5-J2

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:15, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Took me a while to find him in ROTJ, but I finally managed to.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
 * 1) One super-minor issue taken care via IRC. Xd  20:24, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  20:46, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Short n' sweet.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:43, February 13, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:56, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 14:12, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6)  CC7567  (talk) 07:54, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) What of the endless adaptations of ROTJ such as photo comic, junior picture books, etc? Graestan ( Talk ) 21:11, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Considering R5 is such a minor character, and is barely visible in the ROTJ film, I doubt that he would appear in any other adaptation. I'll check what adaptations I can get my hands on, but I can almost guarantee that he's not present in any of them. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 22:57, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **I have been unable to find any of these at my local book/comic stores, but I do know that if R5 appears in any adaptation of ROTJ, it would be the PhotoComic. If anyone has this, I would greatly appreciate your help. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 21:01, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I fixed what grammatical errors I saw but I'm not sure if you want to change inform to order in "arrived to inform the station commander". I'll leave it to you.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  20:46, February 12, 2010 (UTC)
 * Ah, yes, that was left over from an earlier version of that sentence. I changed it to "order." Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:50, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Ashaar Khorda

 * Nominated by:  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 16:46, February 14, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: 998 words. So, I figure I might as well nom it for GA and see if it gets expanded at all during the reviewing process. If not, oh well.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) The stakes were higher than they' ever been with Montross. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:31, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 21:57, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farlstendoiro strikes a blow against this article; to save its body we must destroy the objections!
 * 2) * Underlinking: "Coruscant" is not linked in the intro.
 * 3) **This falls under the clause.  Xd  14:38, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) * Ashaar Khorda was a male Annoo-dat Prime from the planet Annoo. At some point, General Khorda attempted… Ambiguous. Could you reword it to clarify that Ashaar Khorda is the General Khorda of the 2nd sentence?
 * 5) **Changed.
 * 6) * with the help of military forces he had taken from the government. The government of where? Of Annoo or of the Republic?
 * 7) **Doesn't say. I assume Annoo, but we can't be sure.
 * 8) * tried for war crimes. Did he commit war crimes, or was only blamed for that?
 * 9) **Doesn't say.
 * 10) * he assembled a band of followers who bore a hatred for the Republic while searching for the Infant of Shaa. Who was searching for the Infant? (He assembled a band and at the same time he searched for the Infant) or (He assembled a band who [{hated the Republic} and at the same time the band {searched for the Infant}})? Please reword.
 * 11) **Changed.
 * 12) * The Infant was a Force-imbued object, containing a massive amount of Force energy. Maybe you could include this information at an earlier point, when describing the Infant?
 * 13) **I feel that it fits best where it is, because that is where Khorda is revealing specifically how he intends to destroy the Republic. Also, that's the point in the story where this information is revealed.
 * 14) * With the head destroyed, the body would be free, and the Republic would be pure once more. Is this propaganda sentence really neccessary? It doesn't sound NPOV, unless you add "He thought", "he felt" or anything.
 * 15) **Moved to P&T and reworded.
 * 16) * Suggestion: P&T might include Khorda's skills: Was he a good fighter, sniper, pilot, leader, military officer...?
 * 17) **Unfortunately, not much info on that stuff is given, and while Khorda appears to be a good leader (his followers seemed loyal to him), that is not fact, just an assumption.
 * 18) *Good job! Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Thanks.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 17:03, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) * One more: In the infobox, you say "Eye color: 2 purple, 2 gray". Can you specify which ones were purple and which ones were gray? ("Upper pair", "lower pair") Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:30, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) **Added.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 00:22, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) Soresu
 * 23) * was able to stab him with a vibroblade Does him refer to Poof or Fett?
 * 24) **Clarified.
 * 25) * Maybe merge the last 2 sentences of the P&T? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 00:54, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 26) **I'd rather not, because the separate paragraphs indicate a transition. One talks about how he killed without mercy, the other is a bit unrelated talking about what others thought of him. I think it flows better as is. Does that make sense?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:57, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 27) ***I suppose you're right. It's not a big deal anyway. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 21:57, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

2242

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:56, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hope he has not the same grammar errors as Gwarrk

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Shorten the intro a bit.  Xd  18:47, February 15, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *I've cut some explanations. Okay? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:26, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **It's still like half of the bio. Xd  19:30, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Better? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:44, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Fett
 * 6) * Welcome back, Lee. First off, in the infobox, you cannot source "human" to the db entry. "Rise of the Empire era", "Galactic Republic" and "Grand Army of the Republic" are not properly sourced either.
 * 7) **Sourced.
 * 8) * "Green Company was ordered not to attack until their Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack? Also, who is the Jedi General.
 * 9) **Well, it wasn't stated why they should wait and it wasn't said that the Jedi General should be Fisto.
 * 10) * Missing "around 22 BBY" in the bio. Fact tags in the bio
 * 11) **Fixed.
 * 12) * "During the Clone Wars, 2242 adopted the nickname "Cooker" for being able to consistently hit the power cells of Confederate battle droids, making them burn." This reads awkwardly; mostly the "making them burn" part.
 * 13) **Reworded.
 * 14) * "Cooker's unit, Green Company," You make it sound like Green Company belonged to Cooker, although that's false.
 * 15) **Changed.
 * 16) * "...was dispatched to protect the native Rishii and was ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived." Why were they ordered not to attack until a Jedi General arrived?
 * 17) **Like the one above this wasn't stated.
 * 18) ***However, the way its written seems like it might have been. It's fine now, though.
 * 19) * "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name." Asked who?
 * 20) ** Also do you think these sentences: "Fisto asked him via comlink how he received his name. Cooker explained it to the Jedi Master and Fisto stated that he must have been a fine shot if he could hit the droids' power cells." could be reworded and added in his P&T? I find it redunant in Cooker's bio.
 * 21) ***Fixed the first and isn't the second stated in the P&T.
 * 22) ****It is, but vaguely worded.
 * 23) * "Fisto answered that that was fine because Cooker was supposed to target him." Improper English and very confusing. Please watch your grammar. Also "target him"? You failed to mention of Fisto's plan.
 * 24) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 25) *"Cooker was shocked and told Fisto that he could not shoot at him, but the Jedi explained him that he could not deflect the shots of the Geonosians, but he could deflect Cooker's shots with his lightsaber at the Genosians." This reads very awkwardly. Please be clearer. Also, I would recommend that you rewrite this sentence and the previous sentence (which is the objection above). Make sure you explain Fisto's plan, but straight-to-the-point. The way it reads currently is too pbp.
 * 26) **Fixed, I believe.
 * 27) ***Still rather too pbp.
 * 28) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Fisto also told Cooker to fire continuously at his shoulder and begged him not to miss." "begged" somehow doesn't work here. Who's begging and why?
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening and hoped that this meant a surrender." Read the first part to yourself out loud. "Fisto then noticed the massive doors to the mines opening" That's improper English, and is confusing. Later, you say "hoped for a surrender". Whose surrender?
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) *Overall, please watch your grammar and linking. I'm going to check the article once more after you take care of these objections.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:32, February 16, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) **Thanks for the (first?) review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:40, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Rajine

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A vampiress&hellip;

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) If she was no longer a member of the Jedi Order I would give her a different infobox. Either Dark Jedi or the basic character infobox.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 09:36, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *You're right, changed to normal character infobox, since there is no evidence she was a Dark Jedi.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)

Comments''
 * Anyone who owns Clone Wars Adventures: Volume 9 and can upload images, please let me know.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Samuro

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: &hellip;and the dude that PWNed her, with Mace Windu's help. Sammy's droid will be here soon&hellip;

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Eyrezer 08:33, February 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  21:08, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:37, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Xd  20:55, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) "to give it the Jedi that would eventually arrive on the world..." Can this be changed to "the next Jedi to arrive on the world" or something? Is that accurate? ie, did he foresee that Windu would arrive, or did he just say "give this to the next Jedi to land here?"  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:11, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Z-18 tells Windu "to the Jedi who would come". He didn't specify that Samuro thought of Windu or anything.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:13, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Soresu
 * 4) * No mention of the words of banishment or the creation of the holocron in the P&A?
 * 5) **I mentioned the holocron creation in the P&A, not much I can say on the incantation&hellip;--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:26, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Intro could be cut down a little. Maybe remove some from the sentences pertaining more to Windu? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:32, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Not really sure what I could cut out. I omitted the part which says Windu was searching for the clones. Is that OK?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:26, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Samuro's message revealed that while he could not defeat her alone, he would be able to defeat her with Windu's assistance. This one is kinda borderline important, but could go IMO (hey that rhymes), considering the intro's current length.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:06, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ****Got it. Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:17, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) * Forgot about this one: Windu confronted Rajine and activated the holocron. This is very short, and doesn't really "feel" right, considering the length of the other sentences. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 20:38, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:43, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * Can't believe I missed this earlier. In the lead quote, Z-18 calls Samuro a Jedi Knight, yet throughout the article you refer to him as a Master. How come?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:16, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * The CSWE refers to him as being a Master. If you want, I can make note of this in the BTS.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:44, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Is he referred to throughout the comic as a Jedi Knight, or he his rank just mentioned that one time?  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 21:19, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * Just once, by Z-18. Z-18's, Rajine's, and Samuro's entries in the CSWE all refer to Sammy as a Master, I believe. I'll double-check.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:17, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Turns out I was wrong, in Z-18 and Rajine's entries, Samuro is referred to as a Knight. Samuro's entry is the only one that refers to him as a Master. Corrected and added info in BTS.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:18, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Ludo Kressh's pedicure

 * Nominated by: Calithlin (comlink) 18:30, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Hilarious amount of information for a malevolent nail trimmer.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Preliminaries
 * 2) * Expand the intro. One that only consists of one sentence is not adequate.
 * 3) **Expanded the intro. Not sure if it should be longer/more detailed without ruining the rest of the article.Calithlin (comlink)
 * 4) * Full sourcing is required in the infobox and body if there's more than one appearance.
 * 5) **Added sourcing Calithlin (comlink)
 * 6) * Speculation does not belong in any article on Wookieepedia.
 * 7) **Removed/edited what I think you thought was speculation. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 8) * Nothing to specifically describe the set? Not even in a "Description" section?
 * 9) **Described what could be described in new description section. Calithlin (comlink)
 * 10) *Please make sure that you are absolutely confident that the article adheres to every single one of the GAN Rules listed at the top of this page, which should ideally be done before nominating an article.  CC7567  (talk) 05:20, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) Driveby!
 * 12) * Source the Fact tag. Xd  20:13, February 19, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) **The one about what was inside of it? I figured it was all I could do to make the description section more than one sentance long, since it is never shown what is inside. I'll move that to behind the scenes.
 * 14) Nayayen
 * 15) *"The artifact was later discovered by agents of the Jedi Covenant and taken to the Sanctum of the Exalted for study, and later discovered by Zayne Carrick and his partner, Marn "Gryph" Hierogryph." This sentence is too long, please break it up a bit.
 * 16) **Broke this up.
 * 17) ***Perhaps add a little bit to say why/what they were investigating?  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  13:22, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * "Ludo Kressh slowly executed every member of her family one-by-one." I can't find anything saying that he killed them one-by-one, just that he killed them.
 * 19) **Changed to 'Ludo Kressh executed every member of her family, starting with her father'
 * 20) * Your linking needs improvement: link once at the first mention in the infobox, intro and main body of the article.
 * 21) **Added/removed links to follow as detailed above.
 * 22) * The content for the "JAQ1" ref should be put into Cite web. You'll probably want to use the link, title, access date, author and format fields.
 * 23) **Done and done.
 * 24) * There isn't really a need to include "Gryph" in Hierogryph's name when you first mention him because you don't use the nickname anywhere.
 * 25) **Removed.
 * 26) * The Bts doesn't need to summarise the events you've already described in the history. It should contain information about what it was portrayed in.
 * 27) **Hacked out all the story elements.
 * 28) *Nothing more from me on an interesting choice of article.  Nayayen &mdash; TALK  15:58, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Taquito

 * Nominated by:-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:57, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: He was a half year on the stock. Short and without mistakes (I hope).

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) For now, I do think it's quite unnecessary to add that bit of trivia in the BtS. Very redundant.  JangFett  (Talk) 19:30, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well, but Rule 13 says, that a P&T section should be there if available.  Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:52, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **He's not talking about the P&T; he's talking about the reference to the Mexican dish. And Jang is correct - that shouldn't be in there unless an official source states that this guy was specifically named after the dish. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:22, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Ah, that wasn't from me. I removed it and you're completely right. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:04, February 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Soresu
 * 6) *Normally this would be under sofixit, but since English isn't your best language, I'll try to point out some stuff. The Separatists' also left Remember, apostrophes are only used to show ownership or to contract words. If you are just using the plural form, they aren't needed.
 * 7) *The inhabitants believed the grid to be a god they called "Drol". Probably best if you specify whether this includes Taquito. This is both the intro and bio.
 * 8) *Many starfighter pilots tried to get through the grid, but they were all unsuccessful and their ships were destroyed. Taquito also tried, but like those before him, his ship was destroyed by the grid. Could you use some synonyms? These two sentences are very similar.
 * 9) *Although Taquito was brave enough trying to get past the laser grid, his piloting abilities didn't match his bravery and resulted in his death. Could you reword a little? Also, you could mention his belief in Drol. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:23, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) In the episode guide it is not stated who voiced him, so there can't be that info in the BtS.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:05, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Lisst'n

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 21:17, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Xim Week goodness

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 03:20, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 21:58, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:06, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) I love Xim Week. &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 03:27, March 5, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * You should probably mention in the intro that the trilogy thing is a legend and that there is controversy over its truth. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:21, February 24, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) **I added that it is a legend in the intro, as well as that Ransen's hypothesis is disputed. How is it now? --Eyrezer 03:16, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Unidentified clone trooper officer (Tsui Choi)

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 20:39, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An interesting try from Star Wars: Purge. 297 words. I was bored at that evening, so lets see what it becomes

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:21, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * You have some sourcing issues in the infobox. You can't source the content that's under affiliation to the clone trooper db entry. Doing so would mean that this unidentified clone trooper commander is mentioned somehow in the entry, though, he's not. Purge is the correct source for those two under affiliation.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Intro-" After Order 66 was executed in 19 BBY, the clone commander hunted the Aleena Jedi Master" Who is this Aleena Jedi Master? If it's Choi, then please add "Aleena" before "Jedi General" when you first mentioned him.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * "until they were in a blind alley" I do not understand what you meant by this. Can you clarify?
 * 7) **A synonym for blind alley would be dead-end street or impasse.
 * 8) * "There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Quite confusing, as I don't know what you meant. Please clarify.
 * 9) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 10) * Also, I corrected quite a few simple grammatical errors, linking, and a few tense issues. Please watch out for these.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:30, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) **Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:14, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 12) NaruBeast
 * 13) * The intro is very choppy, try connecting the sentences a bit more.
 * 14) **Still?
 * 15) * Context on Order 66 in the intro.
 * 16) **Added.
 * 17) * Say somewhere (preferably in both the intro and body, but at least the body) that he was a clone of Jango.
 * 18) **Added.
 * 19) * "After taking the track on the Jedi..." What? Rephrase.
 * 20) **Rephrased.
 * 21) *I forget this all the time so I'm not one to judge, but put your articles through a spell check before you nominate them.
 * 22) **Okay.
 * 23) * Source the first sentance of the body to the DB entry on clone troopers.
 * 24) **Was sourced.
 * 25) *"There, the commander cursed and stated on the question of a clone trooper that Order 66 remained in effect." Rephrase.
 * 26) **Rephrased.
 * 27) ***I've done this one, but I question whether this should be included at all. It's not truly neccesary to a docukentation of the clone's life. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 28) ****I think it should be included, but if another will object this too, I will remove it.
 * 29) *How do you know this guy is a commander and not some other rank?
 * 30) **That was the article name but you're right. He was not referred as commander. Also he has the same command uniform like CT-65/91-6210. Enough or should we change it into officer.
 * 31) ***Personally I don't think that's enough. As far as I know, Phase II armor is so customizable that a specific "this color or armor sceme means this" is impossible. For example, the clone trooper commander article states: "Some commanders allowed their best troops to also wear ARC armor." NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 32) ****At least, he became a clone stormtrooper after the Imperial Declaration was given. Include that. If you decide to rid the article of mention that he was a commander in the GAR, change the article to "Unidentified clone stormtooper" and add a Bts note that his armor resembled a clone commander's. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:42, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) *****Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:09, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) * Expand the P&T. If you don't know what you could add, look at a clone that's been GA'd already. One thing off the top of my head would be just to sort-of list his characteristics as a clne of Jango.
 * 35) **He has only three sentences so it's quite difficult. Added something about being loyal.
 * 36) ***And something about his equipment. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:13, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:41, February 26, 2010 (UTC)
 * 38) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:08, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) *Look back at the comic for a moment and see if this character's back is shown. If there is a long tube horozontal on his lower back (Like | this, only I think more rectangular) it is a thermal detonator, which should be added to his equipment. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 04:53, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 40) **Added.

Comments
 * 1) A question to the ACs, he is not referred as commander, but he looks like a commander. Should the article be moved to Unidentified clone officer (Tsui Choi)? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:16, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Tingel Arm campaign

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:53, February 27, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Only a few minor things. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 03:34, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Well done, Trayus.  JangFett  (Talk) 20:36, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:54, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * In regards to the article's name: I decided to create this page under Tingel Arm Campaign because it appeared to me that, given the span of time over which it occured, the fact that ships from across the galaxy were sent to reinforce the operation, and the region in which it occured (three planets and two sectors is kind of large for a single battle), that this conflict was actually a series of battles within the Tingel Arm. It's never specified one way or another in the timeline, and so I never specified it n the article itself. The article is, however, conjecturally titled, and I hope the clears that up. If it's a major issue, any alternative suggestions for the title would be greatly appreciated.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 20:53, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Fall of Korriban

 * Nominated by: Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:One after the other.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 04:13, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) A good read overall. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 04:45, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:25, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * the Outer Rim world of Korriban fell back into the control of the Sith. Fell back? I suggest removing, since you haven't established that it used to belong to the Sith yet.
 * 3) **Didn't remove, but I gave it context. See if that's satisfactory.
 * 4) * Following the Empire's defeat in the war, the surviving Sith abandoned Korriban and fled into the Unknown Regions. Following the Jedi Civil War, Following is repetitive.
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * One such location was Korriban. You should link this more clearly to the previous paragraph than "such", especially since you start a new section. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:34, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) **Done. Thanks for the review.  Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 01:24, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Comments
 * I imagine this one will require some updating when the actual game is released, but who knows when that will be. Not for a while, so for now, it's stable. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 03:40, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Kane Griggs

 * Nominated by: Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 04:31, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Another obscure DE character.

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) <font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 05:24, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:14, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Cylka:
 * 2) * I'm usually a proponent of details, however I feel that the intro is a bit too long and detailed for the length of the article. I noticed a couple of sentences that could be cut out, especially regarding his relationship with Marfa. I didn't want to make these changes myself without consulting you, but if you want, I could do so.
 * 3) **I combined the two sentences dealing with their first meeting and Griggs' proposal. I also cut out the sentence about him starting a new family. Marfa formed a pretty significant part of Griggs' biography so I didn't want to cut out any important details. Hopefully this is better.
 * 4) ***Great! That was what I was looking for.
 * 5) * You forgot to use Marfa Thorbin's last name in the article. I went through and changed it, but please check to make sure that I didn't miss any mentions.
 * 6) **I apologize for that. In some articles I've seen first names used over last so I wasn't sure what the precedent was.
 * 7) ***Precedent is to always use last name, except when using the last name would cause confusion about who it would be referring to eg. when talking about two or more people sharing the same surname in the same section. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:12, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 8) * I think that you could expand his P/T a little by talking about how his emotions influenced his actions.
 * 9) **Expanded.
 * 10) * In the Bts, you should selfsource the encyclopedic mentions. Otherwise - has since been given brief entries in numerous encyclopedic sources over the years - is an unsourced statement.
 * 11) **Done.
 * 12) * Can you source any of the information in the bio to the encyclopedias?
 * 13) **Not really, the entries are all variations of "A navigator aboard the New Republic Star Destroyer Emancipator during the Battle of Calamari." None of them give any new information.
 * 14) *Nice work. <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px"><font color=#008080>Cylka  <span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><font color=#00A693>-talk- 16:54, March 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) **Thanks a lot for the review! Xicer9 [[Image:atgar.svg|20px]]( Combadge) 18:35, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Ilwizzt

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 10:39, March 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) They won't talk. Launch Skippy. Object at will (p95)
 * 2) *I understand you should only link terms in quotes if they are not mentioned (thus not linked) elsewhere in the text?
 * 3) **Tick.
 * 4) *Major Brco was an Ilwizzt and a Major Too obvious. Reword.
 * 5) **Tick.
 * 6) *Brco only initiated military activities after trying to communicate with the invaders. This could or could not be important enough to mention (Apparently Ilwizzit do not attack as the first option).
 * 7) **Tick.
 * 8) *G'rho was a Chandrilan colony world (p93). I think that should be mentioned; Ilwizzt mixed with Chandrillans.
 * 9) *Despite the Ilwizzt's efforts ... Despite a brief resistance You begin two successive sentences with "Despite". Please reword one.
 * 10) **Tick. Thanks for the review. --Eyrezer 22:04, March 4, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) *Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:05, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Comments