Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Battle of Kaliida Shoals

Battle of Kaliida Shoals

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 20:22, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Second to last of TCW CloneProject Malevolence Crisis.

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total/INQCON 5)
Support
 * 1) Good job.  Mauser  Comlink  22:21, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Now it's nearly perfect.Kreivi Wolter 17:35, 13 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) CC ftw.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  11:58, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 12:59, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 17:59, 1 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Good job.  —Xwing328 (Talk) 20:40, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 00:34, 21 August 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I'll probably read the whole thing later but one thing I noticed in a brief glance: "General Kenobi. Did you really I would leave the hyperdrive unguarded?" A word is missing, I believe.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:24, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Whoops. Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 21:08, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Mauser
 * 4) * Some context on Shadow Squadron.
 * 5) **Added.
 * 6) * Are you sure that Sector Four you're talking about in the article is a Coruscant district?
 * 7) **I added another redlink; I'll create a stub for both that and the base soon.
 * 8) * The battle took place in the Prindaar system, right?
 * 9) **Not quite sure; I'm checking it right now and I'll get back to you.
 * 10) **The thing is that I'm not sure if information can be inferred. The battle took place near the dead moon of Antar, yes, and the moon was in the Prindaar system, but I'm unsure if we can assume that the nebula itself was in the Prindaar system. The battle was named because the medical station and the nebula were the closest landmarks, not necessarily the moon of Antar, although I'm beginning to change my mind. Do you think it should be moved to the Battle of Prindaar, or what? My concern is that the Prindaar system isn't mentioned anywhere in TCW media or sources&mdash;not in the episode, not in the guide, not in the CSWE (in relation to TCW), nada. The med center and the nebula were the only things ever mentioned as landmarks; the moon of Antar was included in that, as it was identified in the CSWE, but the battle really took place around the med center. (The medical station doesn't even have an official location, since it was moving all the time; it's only "close to Ryndellia and Naboo.")  CC7567  (talk) 22:00, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) ***Well, since the battle ended at the dead moon of Antar, I suppose that Prindaar system should be mentioned at least as one of the two locations of the battle. And as the battle didn't take place in the nebula itself, I suggest you at least put the Template:Conjecture on top of the article.
 * 12) ****Okay, addressed. Let me know if it needs tweaking.  CC7567  (talk) 22:16, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) *Otherwise looks great.  Mauser  Comlink 20:36, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks.  CC7567  (talk) 21:08, 24 May 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Infobox
 * 16) * The OOM command battle droids should be linked for the "individual" droids, not to the droid series. Also there's no object(s) of battle.--Kreivi Wolter 08:37, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **If you want to create those articles yourself, go ahead, because I frankly don't care about every individual droid. It's a minor enough objection that you can do it yourself, and it doesn't even fall under a FAN rule. And I have no idea what you mean by "object of battle". If you mean "objective", it's a battle, not a mission.  CC7567  (talk) 18:51, 12 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) Blacklist:
 * 19) * "Kenobi attempted to cause further damage the ship's hyperdrive, but was confronted by Grievous, and engaged the cyborg general before escaping." Engaged? Did they have a conversation? Play pazaak? Slowdance? Please specify.
 * 20) **Addressed.
 * 21) * "and tracked the Malevolence to the Abregado system with a fleet of several Venator-class Star Destroyers." Minor specification required here: was the Malevolence accompanied by the Venators'', or did Plo Koon arrive with them?
 * 22) **Bah, addressed.
 * 23) * "With the death of Grievous, the war could be brought to a quicker end."POV, please rework.
 * 24) **That was quoted verbatim from the episode, but I forgot to say that it was Skywalker saying it. Added.
 * 25) * Also, I think that you have too many images. There should really only be one image per subsection.
 * 26) **Reworked.
 * 27) ***Much better, less cluttered. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:48, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *More to come. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 21:16, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) **Thanks, Tommy.  CC7567  (talk) 01:09, 28 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 30) * I believe that the Attack on the Malevolence section should be condensed a bit. As it is (Grievous did this, then Skywalker did that, etc), I feel like I'm actually watching the episode.
 * 31) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 01:42, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) * "If the Banking Clan left the Confederacy, the Republic would have a greater chance of winning the war." POV.
 * 33) **Nuked altogether.
 * 34) * Not as bad as the Attack on the Malevolence, but the Mission aboard the Malevolence could use some condensing to eliminate some of the PBP feel it gives when reading.
 * 35) * Same thing with Dual Sabotage.
 * 36) * Same thing with the second paragraph of Destruction.
 * 37) *That's all. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 23:36, 31 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) **The rest are addressed; thanks, Tommy.  CC7567  (talk) 01:45, 1 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * c. 3,000 words. Prelude was too long in my opinion.  CC7567  (talk) 20:22, 23 May 2009 (UTC)
 * I'm not done yet, but I'd suggest you go through and eliminate the overlinking. I'm only up to "A New Target", and I've already found/corrected a decent amount. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 21:16, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, I really should have done a better job in the first place.
 * Haste makes waste, Captain ;P —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No quarter given, all exits sealed ) 17:59, 1 August 2009 (UTC)