Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rescue on the Tranquility


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rescue on the Tranquility

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Finally, something actually interesting. Third to Capture of the Wealthworm.

(5 Inqs/2 Users/7 Total)
Support
 * 1)  JangFett  Talk 15:02, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) I still believe that Faro's death should be putted on infobox, but what the h*ll.--Kreivi Wolter 15:06, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  —Xwing328 (Talk) 21:14, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:45, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:50, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) &mdash;  Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 14:22, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 00:45, November 26, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Small thing: you attribute the first "Operation" quote to a navigation officer, however Gree refers to him as the Captain in the episode. You also later simply call him a naval officer.  Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:22, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Well, according to the TCWCG, he's definitely a naval officer; that's all I'm sure of. I'll correct it for consistency and reference it properly, but I didn't want to call him a captain because he's even called a commander (if he's the same guy) later in the episode. The only thing that's certain is that he's a naval officer, per the TCWCG.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Ah, I see. So long as he's not called a navigation officer.
 * 4) Minor repairing
 * 5) * It was during the rescue that Argyus was killed, even if they weren't in the battle ground anymore. It should be marked to info box.
 * 6) **He did not die during the rescue. He died during the escape, and that was not part of the battle. The "rescue" ended when Gunray and Argyus fled the Tranquility, as you'll see in the Aftermath section.
 * 7) ***Well, I crossed that objection, but from my point of view the escape is still counted to be a part of a rescue, and Argyus was killed during it.
 * 8) * Wouldn't it be better "all B2 super battle droids" than just "B2 super battle droids" in casualties?
 * 9) **The statement "the enemy has been repelled" does not mean that all of the B2 super battle droids were destroyed; "repelled" means that they were driven off. I have yet to see a source that explicitly states that all of them were destroyed.
 * 10) * Argyus used Gunray as a living shield. What prevented Gree to shoot, as Gunray was in enemy side? Clarify.
 * 11) **Added.  CC7567  (talk) 18:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) *Otherwise wonderful job.--Kreivi Wolter 13:26, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) Lets get this thing moving
 * 14) * In the infobox, "1 Dark Acolyte" is not sourced. Also, for "Viceroy", possibly add "1 Neimoidian viceroy" to specify.
 * 15) **Addressed the former, see no reason to change the latter.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Tano remained with Captain Argyus to protect Gunray from the possibility of attack, while Unduli and CC-1004 went to assist the clone troopers in repelling the droids." Possibility of attack from whom? While I don't think Unduli told Tano told remain with Gunray due to an a possible attack, but to guard Gunray.
 * 17) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * I see paragraphs within "Confrontation on the detention level" get too pbp.
 * 19) * Same with "Duel in the engine room"
 * 20) * Same with "Betrayal and escape"
 * 21) **All addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) * "Ventress deactivated the laser gate of Gunray's cell, and as Tano arrived and slashed at the viceroy, Ventress kicked the Padawan into the detention block." I don't recall seeing Tano slashing at Gunray prior to being kicked inside the cell by Ventress. By rewatching the episode, Tano ran with her lightsaber but stopped her advance near Gunray and Ventress. Also, it is not "detention block" but "detention cell". Block is the entire area.
 * 23) **She did not stop her advance, and I don't see the basis behind your reasoning. The other has been fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***It appeared that she did. She froze before being kicked into the cell by Ventress. But, I'll go head and strike this out since my reasoning might be a viewers-poi/speculation.
 * 25) * "As CC-1004 confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic, the captain bent down to grab the clone's fallen blaster." I believe you meant "commented", as opposed to "confronted". If not, this sentence is rather confusing by saying "he confronted Argyus on his loyalty to the Republic."
 * 26) **"Confront" is not always defined as a physical action; it can be a verbal one. If Gree was only "commenting" on it, he wouldn't be asking Argyus why he did what he did.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * "The Confederate Head of State planted the Republic tracking beacon in Grievous's own lair on Vassek in order to lure Fisto and his former Padawan, Nadhar Vebb, to the planet." Due to LoG decoded, Grievous' lair is on the "Third moon of Vassek".
 * 28) **Next time, if you know this yourself, go ahead and fix it yourself. This is a simple objection.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * "Once the Jedi were in place, Grievous would be able to hunt them for sport and display his capabilities as a Jedi hunter." Do you think this is relevant to mention?
 * 30) **It goes with the "reassessment" that is otherwise unclear.  CC7567  (talk) 08:09, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) *Overall, great work CC. :)  JangFett  Talk 03:20, 13 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) The prelude uses the exact same introductory phrasing as the intro.  —Xwing328 (Talk) 23:24, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *Bah, addressed. (Assuming that this was meant as an objection and not a comment.)  CC7567  (talk) 23:50, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Yup. —Xwing328 (Talk) 21:14, October 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) Blacklist:
 * 36) * Again, the same problem plagues this article that I've seen in other TCW projects of late. Starting with the second paragraph of the prelude, the article begins to read less like its from the Separatist's POV, and more like an episode overview. This persists throughout the article. I understand the need to "set the scene", but some of the details given can be left out if this is supposed to be a CIS mission as the title suggests. If Ventress is the commander of the rescue, then the article should ultimately be from her point of view.
 * 37) **I disagree to a certain level. While I've taken out some of the details relating to the Jedi, the article still needs to be written from an omniscient perspective. Focusing solely on Ventress will just create more unbalanced writing in the other direction. All of the details currently in the Prelude are necessary, and I don't see any reason to remove them.  CC7567  (talk) 20:19, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) *** I believe I may have been a bit unclear in my objection. I don't mean that it should be solely from Ventress' POV, but because it's titled "Rescue", it should be more from the CIS side of things, as opposed to "omniscient". Because the second paragraph of the "Prelude" is talking about the Jedi's whereabouts & such, it seems irrelevant & unnecessary in an article that's supposed to be about the CIS rescue of Nute Gunray. The article gets back on track with the next paragraph, but as I stated previously, it seems to be going in to too much detail to set the scene. This isn't a summary of "Cloak of Darkness", it's supposed to be a detailed (though not PBP) account of the "Rescue on the Tranquility." —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 23:08, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) ****I still fail to see your reasoning. Per the recent Battle Articles amendment to the LG (which yes, I proposed myself, but was also agreed upon by the consensus of the community): "All information should be written from a neutral perspective, with none of the narrative focusing exclusively on the perspective of one side of the conflict." I still cannot figure out what you want me to do within the span of this guideline.  CC7567  (talk) 23:17, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 40) ***** I want you to write the article so it doesn't read like a book report for Cloak of Darkness. Perhaps you should change the title of the article to read "battle" (and thus fall within the scope of the change of guidelines that you proposed) so that it doesn't mislead one into believing the article is about a rescue as opposed to all the events involving and surrounding the rescue. P.S.&mdash;the part of the LG which you cited has to do with the specific "battle" section of such articles; notice that I am referring to the second paragraph of the "Prelude." —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 23:25, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ******It was named to correspond to the Rescue on Death Star I because it's a mission, but in any case, it's still going to include the "events involving and surrounding the rescue" regardless of what its name is because that is simply the correct way to write it, at least how I was taught and have never found otherwise, even from your previous reviews of my articles. You'll also note that the section under the LG states that it applies to "Battle, mission, and duel articles."  CC7567  (talk) 23:39, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 42) ******* The part of the LG which you cited has to do with the specific "battle" section of such articles; notice that I am referring to the second paragraph of the "Prelude." —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 23:43, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ********Cutting it rather close, but it should be fixed now.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) * It's also play-by-play throughout "The operation" sections. Feels like I'm actually watching Cloak of Darkness.
 * 45) **Hopefully this issue has been fixed throughout that section and the rest of the article.  CC7567  (talk) 20:19, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) *More to come. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 16:57, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 47) Toprawa:
 * 48) * Something needs tweaking here. You say she leaves "the Confederate fleet," as if it's understood that this is somehow the entire CIS Navy. If so, please clarify, and if appropriate, please link to the article for the Navy: "Ventress departed the Confederate fleet"
 * 49) **Hmm. Well, it could be the CIS Navy, but it was basically a group of three Munificents and wasn't clarified further. Hopefully the bit that I added will clarify it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Not an objection so much, but I added a little bit here to clarify that she cut this hole with her lightsaber, but I can't remember if she did it with both sabers or just the one. So please make sure everything here is accurate: "Ventress cut a hole in one of the vents in the ceiling of the hangar with her lightsaber"
 * 51) **It was both lightsabers; thanks for clarifying that.  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) * The transition between these two sentences is very rough. We're left with knowing that Ventress cuts through the reactor room but we don't really know where she's going, and all of a sudden she's instantly in battle with Ahsoka. Please do a little bit to introduce us to what's going on here: "As Argyus received word that the enemy had been repelled and reported the update to Tano, Ventress cut a hole in the reactor room's ceiling and knocked the two Senate Commandos manning the control station unconscious. The Padawan and Dark Jedi engaged in a lightsaber duel"
 * 53) **That should fix it.  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) * Also to go along with the previous objection, what control station? The detention block control station? "manning the control station"
 * 55) **Addressed.  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * If I'm understanding what you mean correctly, they locked Force-pushes together here and then were pushed backward, a la Obi-Wan and Anakin in Episode III. If so, please do a little bit more to clarify, because it's not entirely clear from what you have here: "Ventress and Unduli employed Force-pushes against each other. Both Jedi Master and Dark Acolyte released the energy and were pushed backward."
 * 57) **Addressed. (:P)  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) * I'm confused by what you mean by "blows" here. Lightsaber blows? Please clarify if so: "aiming several blows before landing behind her" Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:08, November 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 59) **Addressed. Thanks very much for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 02:32, November 23, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I know that the FAN is still lagging right now, but I don't mind waiting.  CC7567  (talk) 06:45, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Not a formal objection, but my concerns about the article title still stand. Darth Trayus  Sith_Emblem.svg ( Trayus Academy ) 09:03, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Eh, if I get more time to think about it, perhaps I'll move it, but as for now I think it's fine; it's going to be conjecturally titled either way.  CC7567  (talk) 15:54, 2 July 2009 (UTC)
 * "Skirmish" still sounds cooler (:P), but it's been moved to "Rescue on the Tranquility".  CC7567  (talk) 20:54, 3 July 2009 (UTC)