Talk:Reef Fortress

Copy-edit and pre-nom review
I have reviewed this article at the request of. My objections follow. Some of these would qualify as, but I'm bringing them up here so you know to look out for them in the future.


 * The infobox needs to be reloaded.


 * Description section: There is rarely, if ever, a valid reason for having two references adjacent to each other. If they're redundant, pick one and kill the other (best in this case to keep Lightsabers so you can then reduce the paragraph to a single reference). If both are needed, then you need to tag individual phrases or even individual words if necessary with the appropriate reference.


 * One-sentence paragraphs are almost always a no-no. Try to merge the first sentence of the History section with the following paragraph.


 * "Jacen and Jaina&mdash;the Solo twins&mdash;": Completely unnecessary to mention them this way or to link to House of Solo and Twin (multiple birth). Simply saying "Jacen and Jaina Solo" is sufficient.


 * "carnivorous seaweed": Again, unnecessary to split the link like this, and potentially confusing to a reader who may expect the phrase to be a single link. The link to Diet should be axed here.


 * You start three separate sentences with "However," in the History section; this word should be used sparingly. Try to rephrase two of them to eliminate the word "however".


 * "The Bartokk craft sustained some damage and lost a couple assassins, but continued to pursue the wavespeeder and fire a deck mounted cannon at it." Saying that it "continued" to fire the cannon makes no sense when it hasn't been previously mentioned that they were firing the cannon. Either mention it earlier or rephrase this sentence.


 * In the BTS, a brief explanation of why the CSWE's mention of Leia is an error would be helpful.


 * I feel that the intro could use a little expansion.

Otherwise, looks decent. Let me know here when these are fixed or if you have any questions. &mdash;MJ&mdash; Comlink 03:01, May 2, 2013 (UTC)