Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Wooley

 * Nominated by: --Clone Commander Lee 17:32, 23 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A minor clone trooper from Innocents of Ryloth

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 06:53, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 17:20, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 21:53, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4)  Cavalier One FarStar Logo.jpg( Squadron channel ) 12:06, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) --Kreivi Wolter 12:31, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * "Kenobi, Cody, Wooley and the rest of Ghost Company boarded the Crumb Bomber and other LAAT/i gunships and attempted to land in Nabat, but proton cannons attacked the Acclamator transports above, and Kenobi was tasked by Jedi Master Mace Windu with taking out the cannons to allow them to land." Run-on.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * Lee, like your previous noms, please watch for underlinking and overlinking issues.
 * 5) **Fixed.
 * 6) ***No, I still see many unlinked subjects. droid, Nabat, Innocents of Ryloth are a couple of them.
 * 7) ****Fixed.
 * 8) * "Kenobi, Cody, Wooley and the rest of Ghost Company" Context on "Ghost Squadron".
 * 9) **Fixed
 * 10) ***It was not Wooley's unit. Ghost Squadron is a unit of 212th Attack Battalion.
 * 11) ****Fixed.
 * 12) * "Ghost Company then settled up a base. Shortly after Cody went with Wooley, Waxer and Boil to scout ahead. Cody and Wooley went to investigate the courtyard, and discovered that the Twi'leks were being held prisoner." Very choppy, also the first two sentences are fragments.
 * 13) **Fixed
 * 14) ***Read this Lee: "Ghost Company then settled up a base and shortly after Cody went with Wooley, Waxer and Boil to scout ahead." Improper English. Make sure you proofread what you write, and if it helps, read it out loud. Or it could be your use of punctuation that confuses the reader. I'll correct this sentence, but in the future, you should be able to correct your usage of proper punctuation. More specially: commas, semi-colons, and &mdash (&mdash;), which is used in place of commas sometimes.
 * 15) ****Lee, please rewatch the episode and find where they "scouted ahead". "Ghost Company then settled up a base and shortly after Cody went with Wooley, Waxer, and Boil to scout ahead."
 * 16) *****Fixed.
 * 17) * "After reporting their findings back to Kenobi and Windu, they moved out." Moved out where?
 * 18) **Fixed.
 * 19) * Lee, try and use translating words such as "soon", "then", "however", "though" in your sentences. Go back and correct this issue because it is difficult to understand what's happening chronologically.
 * 20) **Fixed.
 * 21) ***Along with the proofreading, double check to make sure your sentences flow together.
 * 22) ****Checked.
 * 23) * "After they freed Twi'leks attacked tactical droid commander TX-20, the Separatists in Nabat were defeated, and after the transports landed, the army headed to the capital city of Lessu succesfully reteaking the capital and winning the battle." Improper English, also they did not win the battle. Kenobi and his men destroyed the cannons, allowing Windu and his men land and organize for their run on the capital.
 * 24) **Fixed.
 * 25) ***What is the "army of Windu"? More specifically, you should say Lightning Squadron and Windu.
 * 26) ****Fixed.
 * 27) * It is not confirmed that all clone troopers were born in 32 BBY. Their homeworld is Kamino, though unless you can prove that Wooley was born in 32 BBY, please remove it.
 * 28) **Removed.
 * 29) * Lee, I strongly recommend that you go back and proofread this article because I corrected a lot of grammatical issues, spelling, and linking issues.
 * 30) **Fixed.
 * 31) * Only use tags in the infobox, not in the main article.
 * 32) **Sourced.
 * 33) * JangFett  Talk 00:58, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) **Fixed. Thanks for the review Jang. --Clone Commander Lee 12:22, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 35) ***No problem Lee. Remember to proofread, and double check your work. If you have a hard time with using proper punctuation, you can always look on google for guides; also you can look at the FA tutorials here. I'll give this another review soon.  JangFett  Talk 19:25, 24 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 36) From the Council Chambers:
 * 37) * "After they freed Twi'leks attacked tactical droid commander TX-20,": Slightly confusing; I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say here.
 * 38) **Cleared.
 * 39) * Can you split the last paragraph of the bio into two or three separate ones?
 * 40) **Splitted.
 * 41) * The BTS needs a little expansion, primarily context on "Innocents of Ryloth".
 * 42) **Expanded.
 * 43) *Otherwise looks good after a copyedit and some ref cleanup. &mdash;Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 03:48, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) **Got them all. Thanks for the review Master Jonathan. --Clone Commander Lee 06:39, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) Fett II
 * 46) * "Then, Cody and the Company created a diversion, while Kenobi, Waxer, and Boil freed the prisoners and also managed to take out the rest of the proton cannons." This sentence needs clarifying. What was the diversion?
 * 47) **Cleared.
 * 48) *Good work Lee  JangFett  Talk 16:58, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Fixed. Thanks for the review Jang. --Clone Commander Lee 17:07, 29 July 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) Attack of the Clone
 * 51) *While I would normally correct these myself, I feel that addressing these objections will help you learn the expectations of a GA.
 * 52) * "After reporting their findings back to Kenobi and Mace Windu, they moved out." Who was Windu? Who were "they"?
 * 53) **Fixed.
 * 54) ***When I'm asking who Windu was, I'm asking for context on him in the intro.  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 55) * Everything after that sentence in the intro lacks coherency, and there's too much detail not related to Wooley. Please try to reword and shorten it.
 * 56) **Shortened.
 * 57) * Please watch linking, especially to redirects. This is something that you can fix yourself.
 * 58) **Adressed.
 * 59) * Ghost Company comes out of nowhere in the body and is not clarified in relation to Wooley.
 * 60) **Fixed.
 * 61) ***Saying that it's "Wooley's unit" is simply pointless and too confusing when it comes this late. Please move it earlier, as in when the 212th is first mentioned.  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 62) ****Fixed.
 * 63) *****Please watch linking, Lee. No matter if you move around text, articles still need to be linked the first time they are mentioned.  CC7567  (talk) 19:28, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) * The episode did not give the slightest hint that the events took place in 22 BBY. Please put the correct source in.
 * 65) **Sourced.
 * 66) * "Ghost Company then settled up a base and shortly after Cody went with Wooley, Waxer, and Boil to scout ahead the city of Nabat. Then Cody and Wooley went to investigate the courtyard and discovered that the Twi'leks were being held prisoner." This is still improper English; "settled up" is not an existing idiom, and furthermore, the rest of the phrase is extremely choppy. Please reword this.
 * 67) **Fixed.
 * 68) ***They didn't "build" a base; that would mean constructing one and literally building it. They can establish a base. Furthermore, the first sentence is cut off too soon with nothing to satisfy your "shortly after". You need another independent clause in that sentence to fix it  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 69) ****Fixed.
 * 70) *****Lee, although I've changed this, please note that there was still something wrong with "shortly after" and the rest of the sentence after it. That phrase won't work without a proper subject in the sentence.  CC7567  (talk) 19:28, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) * "After reporting their findings to Kenobi and Windu, they moved out to the village. However, they were attacked by gutkurrs, released by tactical droid TX-20, the commander of the Confederate forces stationed in Nabat. Kenobi managed to lure them into an alley with the Force": this whole time, I have no idea who "they" refers to.
 * 72) **Fixed.
 * 73) * Context needed for the gutkurrs. What were they?
 * 74) **Adresssed.
 * 75) ***Nowhere in the episode did it say that they were native. Please provide your source.  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 76) ****Fixed.
 * 77) * "Then, Cody and the Company created a diversion by attacking the droids, while Kenobi, Waxer, and Boil freed the prisoners and also managed to take out the rest of the proton cannons." There's a lack of flow and an unneeded sense of chronology here. Please reword.
 * 78) **Fixed.
 * 79) ***The "unneeded sense of chronology" and "choppiness" comes with the "Then" at the beginning of the sentence.  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 80) ****Fixed.
 * 81) *****Lee, I've fixed this, but please take note: if you state "In order to achieve there goals," you need to state what they were, and you put in the wrong form of "their". Please proofread more in the future.  CC7567  (talk) 19:28, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 82) * "When the tactical droid commander was about to shot Kenobi": please reread this and try to change what you find. It's improper English and lacks good sentence flow.
 * 83) **Fixed.
 * 84) * The first two sentences of the P&T have no verifiability with their current wording and need more clarification. Furthermore, please proofread the last sentence and try to reword it.
 * 85) **Fixed.
 * 86) ***This still remains. How, specifically, was Wooley shown to be one of the best scouts when Cody picked them? If this is true, then anyone Cody picks for scouting is the best, and the reader has no clue why. Furthermore, the last sentence still lacks good flow.  CC7567  (talk) 20:05, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) ****Fixed.
 * 88) *****Lee, this still does not work. What was Kenobi's exact quote and order to Cody for scouting ahead? Until you can clarify this in the article, that part of the P&T remains speculation. Furthermore, I've just gone ahead and fixed the last sentence for you.  CC7567  (talk) 19:28, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 89) ******Fixed. --Clone Commander Lee 10:41, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) *******Lee, putting the quote in the P&T does absolutely nothing. I'm asking you to clarify this in the text of the P&T, not provide a quote and still not relate it to the P&T. When I say "clarify it in the article", that means relate it back to your own words, not simply provide the lines from the episode and do nothing with it.  CC7567  (talk) 22:12, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 91) ********Sorry, CC. I don't really understand this objection. --Clone Commander Lee 07:25, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 92) *********Here's what I'm asking: How do we know that because Cody picked him, he was "one of the best"? Your P&T does nothing to satisfy or clarify this, and the current wording means that anyone Cody picks to scout is immediately one of the best.  CC7567  (talk) 22:45, 11 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 93) **********Better now ?--Clone Commander Lee 11:04, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 94) ***********I still fail to see how the P&T quote is still relevant. Either remove it or relate it to Wooley in the caption.  CC7567  (talk) 20:22, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 95) ************Removed. --SUBST:User:Clone Commander Lee/sig 20:49, 12 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) *For future reference, you cannot "make someone able" to do something. You're better off with replacing it with "allowing" or "allowed".  CC7567  (talk) 06:52, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 97) **Should got them. Thanks for the review, CC. --Clone Commander Lee 18:11, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) ***Take two. --Clone Commander Lee 09:28, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) * "General Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan, Commander Ahsoka Tano, were able to destroy the Separatist blockade surrounding the planet, allowing the ground invasion forces to land." They didn't land if Ghost Company had to later clear the Separatist forces in Nabat. Please check your facts.  CC7567  (talk) 20:26, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 100) **Fixed and thanks. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:16, September 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 101) Graestan:
 * File:Wooley.jpg looks the same with my glasses on or off. Please re-capture a more clear version.
 * 1) **Added by JMAS.
 * 2) ***No improvement. Graestan ( Talk ) 17:30, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ****Won't get any better version. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:42, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***** This objection is not fixed. Graestan ( Talk ) 02:23, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ******As the one who took this screenshot, you can't get any clearer. This was the clearest one out of several frames before and after this. Also, it's the only one that doesn't have some sort of obstruction in front of him. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 17:05, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * File:Cody and Wooley.jpg has a watermark of some sort on it. Please remove.
 * 1) **Added by JMAS.
 * 2) *Mention should be made in the intro as well as the biography that Windu was contacted by holograph; as it stands it reads like he was on the planet and up in the ships.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) *"Wooley expressed his hesitation with the mission's success" – Not sure if this means he was hesitant to complete the mission, i.e. he had misgivings, or he had doubts that it would be successful, i.e. he was being pessimistic. Please clarify.
 * 5) **Changed.
 * 6) * Graestan ( Talk ) 12:48, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ** Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:50, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) Are you still planning to do a second review of him, CC ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:46, 26 August 2009 (UTC)

The Clone Wars: Bait

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:31, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: One more for the OOU party

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) After numerous fixes.  Mauser  Comlink 12:54, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 01:23, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * First of all, split that giant paragraph up into two paragraphs.
 * 3) **Splitted
 * 4) * "Skywalker's Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano reports that they're approaching the ice field on schedule." Are you sure that she said "ice field"? Because, per the article, that field is on a planet and Skywalker, Kenobi, and Tano are in space. Clarify
 * 5) **Adressed.
 * 6) ***You must have misunderstood me. Could you double check the comic once more. The way you just added "in space" doesn't look right.
 * 7) ****Checked. She says the ice field. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****However, the way you add it in the text: "the ice field in space," it make sense here. So their is an ice field in space? Clarify.
 * 9) ******(hopefully) clarified. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Tano reveals that she thinks that it is a dumb plan and the Separatists will never fall for it." What is the plan?
 * 11) **Expanded.
 * 12) * You mention that Skywalker dumps the fighter out into space but later on, Skywalker appears that he was in the fighter but you didn't mention it. Also, you mention that he brought along a "fraud" lightsaber, mention this early as well.
 * 13) **Added.
 * 14) ***Now you changed it. You say now Kenobi releases the fighter into space, however, you mentioned that Skywalker released it. Double check, don't just assume/speculate Lee.
 * 15) ****It's not stated who released the fighter. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *****No need to speculate then Lee. You can change the wording to "After the fighter was released in space...," though, Now you say the Twilight released it. I would recommend not mentioning whom released the fighter, since it isn't mentioned in the comic.
 * 17) ******Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * I'm seeing a repetition of "Skywalker," later on in the plot. i.e after, "In a hangar, battle droids orders the Jedi to come out of the fighter, because they are aware of his presence inside the fighter, due to the life-form scanning." Vary "Skywalker," you can use his respected Jedi title.
 * 19) **Fixed.
 * 20) * JangFett  Talk 15:46, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **Fixed. Thanks for the review Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Changing
 * 23) * Per The Clone Wars: Headgames, it is now recommended that OOU comics shouldn't switch the tense of the sentence in the intro. Feel free to see what QuiGon had done, as it looks much better than the past approved TCW OOU comic GAs.
 * 24) **Not seeing a change.
 * 25) ***Whiy change ? It looks exactly like Headgames.
 * 26) ****Lee, no it does not. Look at the first sentence from the intro in Headgames and compare it to Bait.
 * 27) *****Sorry, I've got my dies ater today. Fixed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:46, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Per Headgames, it is now recommended that you should have the BtS of an OOU comic as this,
 * 29) **a) What it is, what it ties into, and who made it.
 * 30) ***Fixed.
 * 31) **b) What happens in it.
 * 32) ***Fixed.
 * 33) **c) Miscellanea like the Easter egg.
 * 34) ***No miscellanea.
 * 35) * Instead of dividing the BtS, as well as, adding an "Developing section," Graestan also mentioned that the BtS should have two total paragraphs, one for the OOU information and one pertaining to the actual content of the subject (including the Easter egg).
 * 36) * JangFett  Talk 23:16, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Fixed. Thanks for the info. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) Mauser:
 * 39) * Watch the referencing. You have a link called "The Clone Wars online comic page 86" that actually leads to page 69; the link called "The Clone Wars archives-eleventh page" which leads to seventh page of the archives.
 * 40) **How can that be corrected ?
 * 41) ***To correct that, don't just copy-paste from other articles, do a little wiki-formatting yourself.
 * 42) ****Think, It's done. (I hope so)
 * 43) *****I see that you didn't even touch it.
 * 44) ******Need some help with this
 * 45) *******Took some time but corrected. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:28, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * "illustrated and lettered by Grant Gould, with art drawn also by Gould." - Uh? Why repeat the same statement twice?
 * 47) **Where is this ?
 * 48) ***I removed that mysekf during the copy-edit =)
 * 49) * Context for Twilight.
 * 50) **Added.
 * 51) ***Old? Spice freighter? You have sources for that? "Skywalker's personal freighter" should do.
 * 52) ****Fixed.
 * 53) * "due to the fact he wants to infiltrate the frigate of Confederate Head of State Count Dooku." - erm, Skywalker doesn't say that.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***He didn't say anything about his intentions directly.
 * 56) ****Fixed.
 * 57) * "Tano tells Skywalker that his plan of sneaking on the Separatist ship is a dumb." - rewrite it to look less POV. "She expresses her opinion about the plan" or something like that.
 * 58) **Fixed.
 * 59) * "However, Skywalker calms her down" - she wasn't angry pr something, why "calm down". Also, why "however"?
 * 60) **Adressed.
 * 61) * "The fighter is then realeased in space, with Skywalker onboard." - you don't mention the broken hyperdrive ring? You don't mention that the fighter appears to be damaged?
 * 62) **That was my fault, I fixed it.  JangFett  Talk 23:04, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * "Prior to boarding the fighter, Skywalker left his lightsaber on the Twilight and took a fraud lightsaber with him." - If it's prior, that it must be told prior, not after.
 * 64) **Same comment as above.  JangFett  Talk 23:04, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * Is there a particular reason why you're using dialogue instead of quote? The second one would look better IMO.
 * 66) **I personally thinks it looks better.
 * 67) * "tells the droids that he is just waiting on an invitation." - now, that part is too trivial.
 * 68) **A part to what ?
 * 69) ***You don't need to retell every single peace of dialogue.
 * 70) ****Fixed.
 * 71) * "while he dons a spacesuit to rescue Skywalker" - that alone would suffice for a rescue? Also, resquing wasn't their intent all along, they were going after Dooku.
 * 72) **Fixed.
 * 73) ***Nothing changed in that part.
 * 74) ****It is never stated in the comic that they were after Dooku. Also what do you mean with the first ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:51, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ****I mean that putting a spacesuit on alone will not rescue Skywalker. Also, if something is not in the comic, while it is in the summary?
 * 76) *****Fixed.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:32, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ******Oh, come on! "He dons the spacesuit and goes into space" - that's really choppy. Lee, no offense. but you need to work on your english.
 * 78) *******Better ?
 * 79) ********Except for he doesn't leave Twilight in the comic.
 * 80) *********Hope it's now fine. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:38, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) **********Come on, Lee, check the comic again. He does not leave anywhere in it!
 * 82) ***********Right
 * 83) * "At the end of the comic, Obi-Wan Kenobi came to rescue him" - Oh, he hadn't came yet.
 * 84) **Where is this ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:40, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) The Grand Master
 * 86) *Your external link leads to the end of the first Season Two comic, rather than to Bait itself. Please fix this.
 * 87) **Which link exact ?
 * 88) ***There is only one link in the External Links section. It would be that one.
 * 89) *Several grammar errors.
 * 90) **Corrected several.
 * 91) ***You have made no changes.
 * 92) *You use phrases in the Plot Summary that are taken pretty much word-for-word from the comic itself. Please paraphrase these.
 * 93) **Changed some of them. Please say so if I should change them all.
 * 94) ***You have made no changes here either.
 * 95) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:03, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:14, October 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Tucker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:02, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An occasionally clone, ca. 450 words. Sorry CC

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 16:14, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *Intro is still too similiar to Axe. Mind rewriting some of it?
 * 3) **Better ?
 * 4) * The first three paragraphs of his bio are very similiar, or better yet, exactly the same as Axe. Please rewrite them.
 * 5) **Better ?
 * 6) * "Soon, Tucker was under attack under a bunch Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "a bunch" is too colloquial. Rephrase.
 * 7) **Changed, to a group.
 * 8) * Lee, I'm still seeing an resemblance to Axe. You can rewrite Tucker's bio in your own words instead of copying from the Axe article. I know Tucker had a small role, and his role was similiar to that of Axe's, however, copying an article is unprofessional and frowned upon. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask. Once you're done with rewriting sections within Tucker's bio, I'll give it a copyedit and list objections if needed.  JangFett  Talk 05:11, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **It is now better ? If not contact me. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:49, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Minor expanding
 * 11) * At least one quote?
 * 12) **Don't have them in English.
 * 13) ***Are you sure? I haven't saw the episode for a while, but I do remember that all clones of Blue Squadron reported to Ahsoka before they launched their attack.--Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Well, the problem is that i have the quotes only in German and not in English. So i need them in English, because a translation would not be correct.
 * 15) *****I see. Hopefully someone will add them in future.--Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *" However he was overwhelmed by the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and killed." This just repeat the info given in biography. It should be rewrite to something like "However, he wasn't able to..." or so on. --Kreivi Wolter 05:40, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Fixed.
 * 18) * Techno Union Foreman Emir??? --Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Removed emir. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:22, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Attack of the Clone
 * 22) * For starts, as I've maintained for months now, there is absolutely no way to tell which clones died in the episode, which is what you have his death sourced to, besides Axe. This is not the first time I've had to tell you to "make sure that the information you provide is properly attributable to your sources."  CC7567  (talk) 01:34, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Sorry, CC. Corrected.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***You've done nothing about this, there are still mentions of his "death" in the article.
 * 25) ****CC in the episode guide it stands that he is killed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:36, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Ahsoka's squadron starts to become overwhelmed. Tucker's fighter is blown away by droid fighters. Here is the source. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ******...That was NaruHina who said that, not me.  CC7567  (talk) 19:53, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Sorry for the confusion. XP NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:02, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) "My Name is O'Malley!"
 * 30) * "He served in in Blue Squadron, a Republic starfighter unit led, using the callsign "Blue Five" and participated in the Battle of Ryloth around 22 BBY." After I changed the latter part, adding a comma, I made this more obvious but the sentence cut at "led."
 * 31) **Fixed.
 * 32) * Overlinking and underlinking.
 * 33) **Fixed.
 * 34) * "the leading cruiser of the blockade" move this to when you give context on Tuuk, to extrapolate why they were specifically going after his ship.
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * No mention is made of the Republic until the final paragraph of the Bio. This should be moved to when you talk about clone troopers.
 * 37) **Fixed.
 * 38) * "Tano finally obeyed" Why did she obey?
 * 39) **Adressed.
 * 40) ***Nothing's changed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:32, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Done.
 * 42) *****She turned back because of that and some of her squad died. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:02, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ******Done.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:50, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *******I'll take this down to Part 2 NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * There is no mention of the Separatist reinfocements in the Bio.
 * 46) * The image doesn't say which fighter is Tucker's.
 * 47) **I worded that objection badly. I fixed this one myself. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:47, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "However, he wasn't able to defeat the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and was overwhelmed and killed." Double "and." As well, this is choppy. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:11, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Fixed.
 * 50) ***This is still poorly worded, but I won't fix it because this is another reference to his death.
 * 51) ****Fixed.
 * 52) *Think I get them all. Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) **It's not fininshed yet. I've still got more Tucker quotes I have to use :P NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:32, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) Fett will look again.
 * 55) * Lee, I'm still not satisfied with this article because it still completely resembles Axe. However, I'll give it another review.
 * 56) * You must include that Tucker was "Born on Kamino" in both the intro and bio.
 * 57) **Fixed.
 * 58) * Lee, please read the third and forth paragraphs in the bio. You mention Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue Squadron to retreat two times. This is the result from copying from another article. Please go back and correct this.
 * 59) **Fixed.
 * 60) ***Still remains.
 * 61) ****They ordered her two times to retreat.
 * 62) *****However, they sound similiar. I don't believe that this was your first intention to do this, Lee. I'm still considering that this is the result from the copying/paste. Please go back and try to either rephrase the sentence in the forth paragraph, or remove it.  JangFett  Talk 11:44, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ******Fixed.
 * 64) * "Tano finally obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Resolute, as more Separatist fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers." Finally obeyed? While you did not mention that Ahsoka disobeyed previously, "Finally" doesn't work here.
 * 65) **Fixed.
 * 66) ***"Tano obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Star Destroyer." Quite confusing. While "and" is repetitive in this awkwardly phrased sentence, you are adding too much of Ahsoka's poi than the general squadron. Due to Tucker being a relativity unknown character during the space battle, you should just state "Tano obeyed, and the squadron..." or something similiar, in your own words of course.
 * 67) ****Fixed.
 * 68) *****"Tano obeyed this time, she and her squadron turning back toward the Star Destroyer." Obeyed this time? Sounds like she is completely disobedient. While she did not obey the order to retreat the first time, she did the second time. However, the way you stated it makes it sounds too factually incorrect. Please remove this short choppy sentence and mention that she obeyed, but not say "this time".
 * 69) ******Fixed.
 * 70) * "Blue Squadron was then at, seeing that the Republic forces had no change, tacked by a group Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." Improper English, please reword this sentence.
 * 71) **Fixed.
 * 72) *** " As more Vulture droid fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers, Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "Vulture droid" is repetitive. Please, Lee, double check and reread your paragraphs. I'm still seeing a repetition of already mentioned facts, such as: "Blue squadron under attack by Vulture droids." and "Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue squadron to retreat." Please double check. Also, it is unclear to how many Vulture droid groups there were. You mention one group attacking the Star Destroyers and another attacking Blue squadron.
 * 73) ****Fixed.
 * 74) *****Still remains, Lee. It sounds like they told Ahsoka to retreat once, and then later in the battle, they tell her again. "Yularen and Skywalker ordered Blue Squadron another time" This is factually incorrect.
 * 75) ******Fixed.
 * 76) * P&T-"Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids that opened fire on them during the Battle of Ryloth." "that opened fire?" "On them?" Please clarify. Who opened fire on what and who is "them?"
 * 77) **"Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids, which opened fire on the squadron during the Battle of Ryloth." I understand that he was unable to escape death, however, after "a mass of Vulture droids," the ending of the sentence is rather confusing. "Which" needs to be replaced.
 * 78) ***Fixed.
 * 79) * The entire BtS is rather confusing. Please rephrase the entire paragraph. You should mention "Tucker was first featured in Storm over Ryloth," rather than beginning the BtS with the series name.
 * 80) **Fixed.
 * 81) ***Still remains.
 * 82) ****Fixed.
 * 83) *More to come.
 * 84) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 07:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) ***No problem, Lee.  JangFett  Talk 01:17, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) They could be captured. Or dead. Or captured and dead. GASP! Or captured AND dead!
 * 87) * That Tano retreated only after her squadmates, and Tucker's, were killed is important, it should be included. As the sentence stands now, it is also a double "and."
 * 88) **Not really relevant to Tucker.
 * 89) ***It's relevant to Tucker because his squadmates died. Perhaps this being half the motive for Tano leaving is not but that they died is, it should get at the very least receive a small mention.
 * 90) ****Should be included now.
 * 91) * "Soon, more Munificent-class frigates as reinforcements joined Tuuk's blockade, neutralizing Blue Squadron's attack run." This reads very awkwardly.
 * 92) **Fixed.
 * 93) * "After the Republic force had been caught in a trap..." What trap?
 * 94) **Fixed.
 * 95) ***It still doesn't specify what trap. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:26, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) ****The trap is not specified but I hope it is now better.
 * 97) *****The reinforcements was the "trap." There was a chronology issue that I fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:08, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * "Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down..." The sentence before this establishes that Blue Squadron was attacked. The sentence here is just a restating of the sentence prior, actually. Rephrase.
 * 99) **Fixed.
 * 100) * There is a skip between the second and third paragraphs of the bio. The second states that Blue was attacked by Vulture droids, it then jumps to when they are approaching the enemy flagship. Fill in the blank.
 * 101) **That's being take care of right now, Naru. Per my objection above.  JangFett  Talk 23:51, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) ***The jump still remains and I don't see an objection for this above. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:05, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) ****Should be taken care of. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:38, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) *"While Blue Squadron approached Confederate Captain Mar Tuuk's command ship, the flagship of the blockade." What's the "while" for? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 12:22, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) **Removed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:58, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) *"Don't Ever Be Alone." "He's making that wierd voice again!" NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lee, before I begin, I would like to know why you copied nearly the entire Axe article. I'm seeing you replaced "Axe" with "Tucker" for the most part.  JangFett  Talk 23:03, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *First, I didn't copied the article. I took it as a assist. Second. If you want I rewrite it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:52, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Well Lee, I would like you to partially rewrite some of the battle because it is based on Axe helping Ahsoka, that's how I wrote the Axe article. Replacing "Axe" with "Tucker" isn't going to help anything. While I see a sentence or two changed to fit in with what Tucker did in the episode, I still see a huge resemblance to Axe.  JangFett  Talk 15:04, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Regardless of whether you used Axe for "assistance", Lee, copying others' work is both unprofessional and unoriginal and does not have a place on this wiki. Please rewrite the article.  CC7567  (talk) 08:13, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ****I rewrote it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:29, 22 August 2009 (UTC)

Timar Daragon

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:48, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Paraphrase more. This cannot read exactly like Hok Daragon. Graestan ( Talk ) 16:20, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I don't exactly see how this is a problem; all the info on her is included, and the only thing that really distinguishes them is that one is male and one is female. They're together for the entirety of the comic.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 15:17, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fine, fine, I'll paraphrase.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 22:57, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Wording has been varied. I hope this will satisfy your objection.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:13, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Remove nomination (AgriCorps vote only)
 * 1) Cut-and-paste of Hok Daragon. Nominator expresses no desire to paraphrase.  Graestan ( Talk ) 18:47, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Battle of Kirrek (Unification Wars)

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 04:47, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ.

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Graestan ( Talk ) 16:49, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 10:18, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:10, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Please watch your tenses; writing isn't very coherent when it's switching rapidly between present and future tense.  CC7567  (talk) 07:16, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) The final version looks very good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:15, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * "to unify the seven worlds of the Koros system" occurs in two sentences consecutively. Please vary it up.
 * 3) **Addressed.
 * 4) * Is the quote in the aftermath section meant to be "your battle meditation"? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:41, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **Yes.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 15:18, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa:
 * 7) * I notice immediately that there is a discrepancy between this article and the Teta article (currently an FA) over what year she becomes Empress. Considering both of these articles will be status articles, this isn't a good thing. Please figure this out and get these two articles on the same page. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:08, September 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **I've checked the Teta article, and the two are now on the same page.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:28, October 3, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Gwarrk

 * Nominated by:-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:41, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Part one of my Gauntlet of Death project. Thanks to Qui-Gon Jinn for the pre-perview

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Pre-nom reviewed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:56, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 11:25, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * "Gwarrk stated that the Jedi had created the army for warfare and he put the clones to their purpose. He also stated that the troops had failed because their power was not great enough." "stated" is repetitive. Also, is there a way to merge these sentences together? It's rather redundant, and gets too pbp, if you mention one thing that he said in one sentence and then mention more in another sentence.
 * 3) * JangFett  Talk 19:50, September 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) **Fixed. Thanks for the review, Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 09:09, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) The Grand Master
 * 6) *Before I even begin, I'm seeing several grammar issues. Normally I would fix these myself, but it is a recurring mistake in your noms. Please try to fix these.
 * 7) **Fixed some.
 * 8) ***Lee, you corrected the spelling of one word. Please go through this carefully and fix your grammar.
 * 9) ****Sorry Jon. I didn't found anymore
 * 10) *****Lee, it's not the job of the AC to translate your articles into English for you. If you can't find any grammatical errors yourself, then try to find someone who is willing to help you with them.
 * 11) * I'm also seeing some POV issues.
 * 12) **Didn't really found one. Maybe some examples ?
 * 13) ***Please review WP:NPOV.
 * 14) ****Reviewed and removed two or three.
 * 15) *****I've taken care of the last one for you. Try to remember this in the future.
 * 16) *I'll give another review once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 02:04, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Thanks. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:12, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Gorrm

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:32, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Giant monkey man with an earring!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:48, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farl-suggestion:
 * 2) * As you are nominating several articles that link to Merchants' Guild, could you consider creating an article/stub for Merchant's Guild? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:49, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Created.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:23, September 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) For starters, there is information which is cited as being from FotSE which is not from that source. Graestan ( Talk ) 00:42, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:23, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Bomb squad trooper

 * Nominated by:-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:01, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First non character/battle or OOU Article TCW nom ?

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro-"typical bomb squad duties" I know what you meant, however, others might know what "bomb squad duties" are. Please rephrase
 * 3) **Fixed
 * 4) ***Still remains, Lee.
 * 5) ****Eh, cleared in the next sentence
 * 6) * Intro-"&hellip;where Doctor Nuvo Vindi created probes of the Blue Shadow Virus" Factual error: he did not create the virus, he restored and made it an airborne virus.
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * In the intro, you say "Bomb Squad troopers saw action in Naboo." and then in the next sentence you say "Bomb Squad troopers were used.." Like your Tucker GAN, please watch how you phrase sentences. These are similiar to each other and looks like you're repeating redundant information. I suggest you remove "Bomb squad saw action," because it sounds like this was there first mission.
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) ***I'm crossing this for now.
 * 11) * Intro-"while the rest of the forces captured Vindi" Factual error: not all went and captured Vindi. Only Skywalker and Kenobi did so.
 * 12) **Fixed.
 * 13) ***"The troopers managed to disarm the bombs Skywalker and Kenobi captured Vindi" Improper English.
 * 14) ****Fixed.
 * 15) *****Try not to use the word "managed," due to it being improperly used. Please use a different word.
 * 16) ******Fixed.
 * 17) *******I took care of this myself.
 * 18) * Intro-"Skywalker and Kenobi were able to help the clones&mdash;which were infected by the virus&mdash;by finding a cure on Iego, while Tano, Amidala and the clones destroyed all droids in the laboratory." By saying "clones" it sounds like the bomb squd was only infected, however, that is false. You failed to mention about other clone troopers&mdash;not bomb squad troops&mdash;that helped the raid and its aftermath when the virus leaked.
 * 19) **Fixed
 * 20) ***Still remains.
 * 21) ****Fixed.
 * 22) * tag in the first sentence of the history.
 * 23) **Eh, no source.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Well, let's see. "Bomb Squad Troopers were special clone troopers in the Grand Army of the Republic and tasked with the disarming and disposal of bombs." That's "Blue Shadow Virus" :)
 * 25) ****Sourced.
 * 26) * "While Skywalker’s Padawan Ahsoka Tano created a diversion" No she did not. Ahsoka, Rex, and a group of clones were destroying the droids, and were soon joined by Kenobi. And yes, Skywalker went to save his wife from Vindi.
 * 27) **Fixed.
 * 28) * "should subdue" Too colloquial and not-encyclopedic.
 * 29) **Fixed.
 * 30) ***Don't use "Should".
 * 31) * "The plan was successful and Kenobi and the bomb troopers reached the room were the bombs were deactivated." What plan? And I thought Kenobi went with Skywalker to capture Vindi. I recall only Amdiala, Ahsoka, Rex, clone troopers only witnessed the deactivation of the last bomb.
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) * "However, at the moment the troopers were in all bombs were activated by Vindi." The troopers were in all bombs? were activated by Vindi? Improper english.
 * 34) **Fixed.
 * 35) * "While Kenobi left, the clones began disarming the bombs." Okay, you're confusing me, Lee. You mentioned that the plan was successful and the bomb squad deactivated the bombs, but now you're saying Kenobi left? In the episode, Kenobi was with the bomb squad troops until Skywalker called him. At the end of the episode, when Vindi tried to leak the virus, the bomb squad deactivated the last bomb. You're making too many factual errors and it's not chronological.
 * 36) **Fixed.
 * 37) * "Some time later" When later? Rephrase.
 * 38) **Fixed.
 * 39) ***Don't use "later".
 * 40) * " The droid brought the pipe in a bomb and detonated it, spreading the Blue Shadow Virus in the laboratory." What droid? Was it Vindi's assistant? Please specify.
 * 41) **Fixed.
 * 42) * "while the clones, Tano and Amidala destroyed the droids inside the laboratory." This doesn't make sense. What droids? You could have mentioned that they found a cure to save the clones, Ahsoka, and Amidala. I don't see why mentioning the droid attack in "Mystery of a Thousand Moons" is relevant to the bomb squad.
 * 43) **Fixed
 * 44) ***Why did you remove it all? While I meant that mentioning the droid attack in the episode was irrelevant, you should have said that they found a cure and saved Amidala, Ahsoka, Rex, and who ever else was rescued.
 * 45) ****Fixed.
 * 46) * Could you find another word to replace "grippers"? Or possibly add some context for it.
 * 47) **Fixed
 * 48) *Please watch your spelling. More to come, Lee.  JangFett  Talk 19:22, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Thanks for the (first) review Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:32, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) Few more for now.
 * 51) * "After the scientist's capture, one bomb was taken by Vindi’s private droid. Senator Amidala found the droid and managed to take the bomb. Tano sent the bomb troopers to Amidala which successfully disarmed the bombs before Vindi activated them." These are all short, choppy sentences. Please go back and make them flow better. Also, while Ahsoka did bring the bomb squad to Amidala, make sure you mention "Due to the timely arrival of the bomb squad."  JangFett  Talk 19:49, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) **Fixed and thanks. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:41, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * "The Republic plan was successful and Kenobi and the bomb troopers reached the room were the bombs were deactivated." Prior to this sentence, you mentioned that Kenobi and the bomb squad reached the room, however, in this sentence you say they "reached" the room and successfully deactivated the bombs again. Again, you're repeating information. also, this sentence is a factual error. Kenobi was not with the bomb squad when they deactivated the last bomb.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***Still remains.
 * 56) ****Hope it is now better.
 * 57) *****"The Republic plan was successful" Possibly clarify this. I don't know why you call it a "plan," as it was never mentioned in the episode.
 * 58) ******Changed to strategy.
 * 59) * "However, at the moment the troopers arrived all bombs were activated by Vindi who was fleeing." Improper English. Make sure your sentences flow well. I'm still seeing short, choppy sentences.
 * 60) **Fixed.
 * 61) ***Still remains, Lee.
 * 62) ****Hope it is now better. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:21, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * JangFett  Talk 23:33, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:44, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) "However, at the moment the troopers arrived all bombs were activated by the fleeing Vindi." Arrived where? Also, Vindi wasn't fleeing when he activated the bombs. He tried, but the bomb squad "clipped" the wire of the bomb, which caused Vindi's attempt to remotely activate the bomb to fail.  JangFett  Talk 17:48, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) *Fixed, and I mean when he was fleeing from the Jedi.
 * 67) **Then make sure you mention it, because it will be confusing for the readers.
 * 68) ***Fixed.
 * 69) Fett will look once more.
 * 70) * "The Republic strategy was successful after the bomb troopers reached the room and deactivated the virus bombs. However, at the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory, all the bombs were activated by Vindi, who was fleeing from the Jedi." These two sentences don't fit chronologically. I don't recall the bomb squad deactivating all of them quickly, and then after the first sentence, you go back and say "At the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory.." Please go back and fix this.
 * 71) **Fixed.
 * 72) ***"The Republic strategy was successful after the bomb troopers reached the room and found the virus bombs deactivated" Now you've changed it. So the bomb troopers "reached" the room and found the bombs deactivated? I could have sworn that they were sitting on the floor and deactivating them one-by-one. This is what I meant by checking the episodes again. Also, it's still out of order; in terms of chronologically.
 * 73) ****Fixed.
 * 74) * "While Kenobi left to help Skywalker in the capturing of Vindi" Left where?
 * 75) **Fixed.
 * 76) * "However, at the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory, all the bombs were activated by Vindi, who was fleeing from the Jedi." I don't recall Vindi activating the virus bombs as he was running. Double check this.
 * 77) **He was fleeing when he activated them.
 * 78) *Lee, this article reads like a short summary of "Blue Shadow Virus" and "Mystery of a Thousand Moons". I advice that you go back and check to see if you noted every appearance of the bomb squad in these episodes.
 * 79) **Checked.
 * 80) ***Are you sure that you've listed everything? Because right now I'm seeing no change.
 * 81) ****Sure.
 * 82) * JangFett  (Talk) 14:46, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) **Thanks for this review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:25, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) The Grand Master
 * 85) *"Bomb Squad Troopers had orange markings on their armor to signify their squad." Did it signify what particular squad they were in (as you currently suggest), or that they were bomb squad troopers?
 * 86) **Fixed, but the other two will take some time. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:57, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) *Grammar issues.
 * 88) *Watch for tense shifting.
 * 89) *I'll give it another review once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:44, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) I'll fix the rest tomorrow or today. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Forget that. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:32, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Transfer essence

 * Nominated by: Azra Namor 20:43, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I've fixed all the problems I could find, and feel it's time to try again.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) 1829 ymmoT:
 * 2) *If you are going to use an image of Exar Kun, there are far more appropriate ones than the one you've currently got in the article. I suggest using the one from DLOTS where the transfer actually takes place. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 22:09, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **I would be very glad to find out where this image has gotten to. If you (or anyone) could provide a link? Azra Namor 02:33, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***It's in Tales of the Jedi: The Sith War 6: Dark Lord. My copy is of poor quality, so I'd suggest contacting for a scan of exceptional quality. —Tommy9281  Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 23:20, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *You make no mention of Karness Muur's spirit and how it resided within the Muur Talisman & later Celeste Morne.
 * 6) **I do, actually. Just not very much. After all, we don't want to make Muur Talisman or Force ghost redundant, and I don't have a single Dark Horse comic in my possession. Azra Namor 00:36, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ***Please note that not having access to sources is not an excuse for not being able to address an objection. You would do well to find someone who has them if you don't have them yourself.  CC7567  (talk) 02:37, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *Or of Darth Andeddu's transfer of his spirit into his holocron, or the device's ability to drain the spirit of another to revive Andeddu's flesh.
 * 9) **Aren't those aspects of holocron creation/Force drain? Not having the material in question, I can't ascertain one way or the other. Azra Namor 00:36, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **No. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 15:26, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *As a matter of fact, there are so many instances of various individuals' spirits being transferred into their holocrons or other devices/people, that you'll need to comb through a lot more material before this is even close to being comprehensive. I found many things, but you'll need to determine what constitutes spirit transference and what doesn't, as this is your nom. —Tommy9281 Dark side Master SWGTCG.jpg ( No truth in me ) 19:54, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) From the Alpheridies-wide famous Pasta Bowl of Fiolli:
 * 13) *The whole article is not fully sourced.
 * 14) *I find it very difficult to believe that the entire description section could be confined to one sole source without mention to any other.
 * 15) *The users should be listed chronologically as well as how they discovered it, if known.
 * 16) *There appears to be no description on the vulnerability behind this or ways to stop it. After all, Palpatine did die at the hands of a Solo.
 * 17) *This is all just from a cursory look. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:21, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Are the first two items on your list related? As in, logically dependent on each other? Or does the sourcing issue span more than the Description paragraph? (And I hate to be a jackass and directly contradict you, but The Dark Side Sourcebook does describe the power in its entirety, as well as biographing nearly all the users mentioned in the Users section). Azra Namor 02:33, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) ***No, they are not related or interdependent. I see that the article at least is fully sourced in that it has some type of reference tag on all of the paragraphs, now. As far as the second point, I see from the edits that were made that another source is in fact used to enhance the description section. My point stands, however. I still find it difficult to believe that the DSS and the Ultimate Adversaries are the only two sources that provide any unique information that could go in the description section. I could be wrong, but I find it hard to believe that the only descriptions of this power are confined to these sources. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 12:38, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) **Chronological order. On it! Azra Namor 02:33, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) ***Thank you, but make sure the tense is correct throughout. Also, if the DSS is so important in listing the users of the power, perhaps it should be cited in this section too. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 12:38, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) **The vulnerability of this technique is mentioned in the article; i.e. if your target was too strong to control, and you didn't have a handy ziggurat lying around, you died&mdash;without hanging around afterward. Azra Namor 02:33, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) ***There is more that can be added to this. This alone is not the only vulnerability. Plus, I do not see this either in the article's description section nor a section about the effects on users or others. This is where it needs to be.
 * 24) *Lastly, make sure that the article does not contain speculation or OR. I do not have all the sources handy, so I am not able to look up each detail. But, a few things appear to fall under the OR umbrella or, at the very least, appear that way by its wording. &mdash; Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 12:38, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **After rereading No Prisoners, I'm beginning to have my doubts about whether this is the same power Callista actually used (I'm assuming that's the section raising the OR flag). Azra Namor 22:58, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) QGJ
 * 27) *There are several problems with this sentence: Emperor Palpatine was the most famous practitioner of this esoteric technique, surviving his first death at the hands of his own apprentice, then his second at the hands of his former apprentice's children. Palpatine's second death was actually on Byss, when he died willingly. Also, what former apprentice? Name him. "The most famous" bit is also a bit OR-ish. Please fix these.
 * 28) **Ouch. Thank you. Azra Namor 22:58, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) ***The second death should be mentioned along with Palpatine's ability to trigger it by himself. "Vader's children" need to be named too.
 * 30) *The description and the Bts could use this information provided by Leland Chee. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 13:17, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) **So does Leland Chee's pronouncement override the description in the Wizards of the Coast RPG sourcebook? Because the assertion that the target has to be essentially an empty vessel contradicts the skill description. Azra Namor 22:58, September 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 32) ***Yes, since Chee maintains the official Lucas Licensing database, his words are superior to any published EU work. The conflict between his statement and the sourcebook can be explained in the Bts  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 17:11, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) *Another thing I noticed: The clones' rate of degeneration was increased further by sabotage. More information about the "sabotage" is required. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 17:11, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

The Clone Wars: Hunting the Hunters (Part 3)

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  Talk 23:12, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I suppose so. :P

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:42, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:53, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:49, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee has only one thing to say
 * 2) * Please add the second clone pilot to the character list.
 * 3) **I only see Cody and Torrent Four as the only two clones in the comic. If you saw another one, feel free to add it in the list, due to this falling under.
 * 4) ***I mean the second clone who is shot down by the Vultures.
 * 5) ****Addressed.
 * 6) *Overall, good work. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:08, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) The Grand Master
 * 8) * Some major tense-shifting issues in the bonus-page info in the Plot Summary.
 * 9) **Bah, sorry man. I wasn't thinking properly and wrote it in past-tense. 9_9 Should be good now, hopefully.
 * 10) * Info about the bonus page should be added to the bts
 * 11) **Addressed and thanks for the review. :)
 * 12) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:58, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * Just one more: please add a just a little more info to the end of the intro about what happens in the comic. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 23:37, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Addressed.
 * 15) Attack of the Clone
 * 16) *For now, I'm leaving this as a reminder of the article's OR issues I discussed with you over IRC on Sunday the 20th, UTC. Please fix this as soon as possible; you've been here long enough that I should not have to lecture you of all people about OR and fanon.  CC7567  (talk) 03:50, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **CC, I completed all of your objections. If I had missed one, I'll talk to you on IRC tonight. I looked through the comic once again and I noticed you replaced something that made the sentence a factual error.  JangFett  Talk 15:24, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) ***Please note that my objection on the factual correctness of the article still remains. Jaybo's bit about the probe droids is still incorrectly placed, and I still recommend going back and reading the comic to check for factual correctness.
 * 19) ****It should be correct now. I went back and did look at the comic, and it's correct.
 * 20) *****No, it is not. Jaybo did not mention the earlier dispatched probe droids when he informed the Jedi about the Thicket.  CC7567  (talk) 07:14, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) *Your Bts needs some shaping up. Also, never use the word "you" in an article. Involving the reader in the article is unnecessary, and the term itself is also unspecific.
 * 22) **Addressed.
 * 23) ***"If the player destroys and stops 3D": replay the game if you have to, but you need to be more specific than that. Also, unless I'm reading wrong, I was under the impression that you yourself stated earlier in the summary that the Jedi found the inanimate "shell" of 3D, but that the droid wasn't "destroyed"&mdash;as you're now saying.  CC7567  (talk) 07:14, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) *"In the comic, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi return to Iego to find out that IG-86 sentinel droid, HELIOS-3D, is controlling a part of Iego space called the "Thicket." Please clarify why a reiteration of the plot is necessary.  CC7567  (talk) 20:55, October 1, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) **Per other TCW-related OOU comic GAs, this is exact format that is in use, CC. However, I'll remove it because I see that it has no meaning in the BtS.
 * 26) ***If you're going to use the other comics as precedents, this is going to have to be worded differently. Stating what the comic explained or established (which is fit to do, in this case) is not the same as a plain plot reiteration that sounds like it was copied and shortened from the intro.  CC7567  (talk) 07:14, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Also, please note that the link to this comic (as with every other comic-related article) no longer works with the recent reorganization and restructure. This needs to be fixed.  CC7567  (talk) 07:23, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Baad Walusari

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:06, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Lost Tribe Keshiri Sith Saber; Abyss (of course)

(2 ACs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work, Jonny. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 19:11, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:36, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  CC7567  (talk) 18:29, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Jedi Kasra (talk) 19:59, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Jumping on the Baad Wagon. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 21:47, September 27, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * BtS perhaps ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:56, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * Facepalm. Done. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:53, September 27, 2009 (UTC)

Horak-mul

 * Nominated by: "For England, James?" "No. For me."
 * Nomination comments:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:30, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Ha-ha! Cool GoldenEye reference. Fits Horak-mul--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:52, September 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Glad you noticed. ;)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:29, October 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Didn't get it. Something to do with that guy.... James Bond... was it? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:07, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Strike that last comment. It was on TV yesterday. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:52, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Dor Gal-ram

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:50, September 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A double nom with Horak-mul.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:45, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Berrus

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 16:22, October 2, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Poor fellow. He's non-canon and never makes an appearance. You'd think the developers would have at least been nice enough to have Starkiller brutally kill him.

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 23:42, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:39, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Nouane

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 15:56, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: For a world that appears on almost every map in the Atlas, there's surprisingly little information on it.

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:45, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Dividing my time between Wook and helping a newer wiki become more professional ATM. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 07:54, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master has been out of it for a while with the flu, and begins to make his comeback...
 * 2) * The article for the Allied Regions says that the Moff/Grand Moff titles had been entirely dispatched by the Ruusan Reformations. Is this true? If so, you should probably mention it.
 * 3) **I don't go into details because the Atlas never specifically says if the Allied Region of Nouane had a Moff or Grand Moff. I'd hate to go into a lot of detail because of that.
 * 4) ***Well, then you can't say "Like all other Allied Regions, its leader was granted the title of Moff or Grand Moff."
 * 5) ****But I can, since the Atlas says the leaders of the regions received the title in exchange for joining the Republic. It never says whether Nouane's leader ever actually used it, which is why I didn't write "Nouane's leader took the title of Moff or Grand Moff." The way it is now is meant to show that the leaders could have used it. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:41, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Hmm, fair enough.
 * 7) * What exactly is meant by "subsequent galactic conflicts"? Does this mean all of the conflicts after the Galactic Civil War? Or all other galactic conflicts not mentioned in the article itself? (If the source isn't really clear on this one, then don't worry about it)
 * 8) **Reworded.
 * 9) * The intro is a little long, and more detailed/wordy than the body in some places.
 * 10) **I disagree. Everything there is relevant, since that's all the information on the planet to begin with.
 * 11) * Is there an article for the defeat of the Mandalorians on Nouane? If not, could you make one, or is there not really enough information on the matter?
 * 12) **I'll be working on this over the next few months. If you're referring to a second conflict, there's not enough information to indicate that there was a separate second battle.
 * 13) *Nice work as usual. :P Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 19:20, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) **Thanks. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 20:09, October 8, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Ghorin

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 18:24, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "Okay, who put the purple sock in the laundry with my dress uniform?"

(2 ACs/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:17, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Grunny  ( Talk ) 14:50, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 12:30, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Kyber memory crystal

 * Nominated by:  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:26, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: " "

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * That infobox picture isn't a proper one. The holocron isn't part of the crystal, and the infobox image should (ideally) be one solely of the article's subject.
 * 3) **I realized that and added the new IB image probably at the same time you were posting this. ;) -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Still slightly biased on this one, but I guess it'll do.  CC7567  (talk) 06:19, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * The "Characteristics" section quickly takes on a drone tone and is also borderlining speculation. Yes, the crystal was "given to a Jedi Master to keep and protect," but only one was identified, and your wording is leaving room for the reader to misinterpret it as an inaccurate generalization that it was always in the care of a Master, which remains unclarified by official sources. Please fix these issues.  CC7567  (talk) 04:40, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **How's it look now? -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for the fast look-see. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *"While Ropal was on Devaron, Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane kidnapped him and stole the memory crystal. Later, during a mission to recover a holocron Bane had stolen from the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker was coerced into opening the holocron to save his Padawan's life." Please fix up the chronology here. Factual correctness should not be sacrificed for a shorter intro.
 * 9) *No mention of Ropal's death at all. I do believe that's quite important.
 * 10) *Please try to be clearer about Bane's trap. It isn't clear how Tano became a bargaining chip. Overall, the Battle of Devaron needs a lot of expansion&mdash;not to the point where it becomes threaded with unnecessary info, but enough to help the reader understand the events.
 * 11) *When you link two independent clauses together with "however," the conjunction is preceded by a semi-colon and followed by a comma. Please keep this in mind next time.
 * 12) *I'd recommend organizing your Bts better. The canon stuff (i.e., the actual appearances) should come first before you go into any sort of its development, regardless if it dates back to A New Hope.
 * 13) *Even though that this is likely to be here through "Children of the Force" (unless it snowballs with five AC votes), I still maintain that the assumptions about Bane's escape should wait until then when it can be confirmed.
 * 14) *Your linking was extremely sporadic and inconsistent. Please try to be more careful next time.  CC7567  (talk) 06:19, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Fett
 * 16) *I'm seeing a lack of explanation about the death of Ropal and the capture of Ahsoka. Bane wanted to torture Ropal to make him open the holocron; however, it's not explained in the article. For Ahsoka, you did not mention that Bane spotted two Jedi attacking his frigate, and he wanted to lure them for the same purpose&mdash;open the holocron. I see you mentioned "Once on board, the Jedi were lured into a trap by the Duros hunter.", though that doesn't explain it a lot. The next sentence states: "Skywalker was forced to open the holocron and let Bane insert the crystal in order to save his Padawan's life. " That is a huge time gap between the previous sentence and this one. What about Bane torturing Ahsoka, and using her to get Anakin to him.
 * 17) *"Bane then took the completed holocron, opened an airlock to blow the two Jedi into space, and escaped." Factual error, JMAS. Bane did opened the airlock; however, Ahsoka was endangered. Anakin threw a fragment of the B2 super battle droid at that ray shield control, and it opened the ray shield, allowing Anakin to save Ahsoka.
 * 18) *More to come man. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 20:33, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Jang, just so that you're aware, basically all that you've done is repeat my already-standing objections.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Really? I must have not read them clearly. Well then, I agree with what you're saying, CC. Sorry about that.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:59, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * OK, not removing the nom, I'm gonna fix what I can now, but wait 'til Friday to see what this week's episode reveals. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 22:36, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Weeze

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 18:48, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Rodian; Galactic Alliance Security sergeant; Abyss

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Great work. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 20:10, October 8, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 12:41, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Unidentified IG-86 sentinel droid 1

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 09:33, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: If the article survives as lenght as its now, I may try to feature him as well.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *I'm going to give this another review soon, for now here are some issues:
 * 3) * Intro-"Things were complicated..." "Things" is too-colloquial. Please rephrase.
 * 4) **Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "When he was destroyed by Skywalker, Shahan Alama immediately noted that his body was lacking for lightsaber cuts." How is this relevant to mention in the "Characteristics" section?
 * 6) **Uh, it isn't. What was I thinking?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 11:16, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **I'll be waiting : )--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) The Grand Master continues his comeback...
 * 10) * Intro: You say they are going to free Ziro from a prison, and then all of a sudden they head to the Republic Executive Building. Why are they going there?
 * 11) **Noted.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * I see many grammar issues in the intro and body. Please try to fix these yourself.
 * 13) **I will try.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * How was the Power control room a "key" part of Bane's plan? (Don't forget, this article is from the prospective of one of the members of Bane's posse, so things like this shouldn't be left a mystery.)
 * 15) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Okay, but you still don't say why it was a key part. (i.e., they used it activate the lockdown) If you feel tis is not relevant enough to the article's subject to be put in, then don't bother saying it was central to the plan.
 * 17) ****Removed the key part section.--Kreivi Wolter 13:49, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * "tried to escape in fear" Can you be sure that it was in fear, and not just that particular droid's programming? This is speculative, and should be removed.
 * 19) **I think it's rather obvious that the droid fears. But alas, ur right. It's not confirmed in any way.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Why were the Senators conferring in the East Wing?
 * 21) **I explained it, but I wonder is it relevant to this droid?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***That was a little too much; you just needed a little info about why they might be gathering there.
 * 23) * Please review the LG. I don't believe an "aftermath" section is appropriate in this case. That makes it sound like the article was centered around a battle or event, rathen than a character.
 * 24) **Hmmm. Can I just say "After destruction", as I can't say "Legacy" or "After death"?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***Or you could not bother giving its own section, or you could make a "destruction" (or similar name) section, describing his fight with Skywalker and the aftermath.
 * 26) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * You say Skywalker attacked the droid while it was heading downstairs, after getting it and Alama to leave the room, but then you say "after defeating the droid, Skywalker left the room". Which is true? Did he fight the droid in the room, or outside of it? (IIRC, it was outside)
 * 28) **That was really fuzzy indeed.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * I think you should move the part about Skywalker comparing the likeness of this droid to HELIOS-3D to the characteristics section only, because it is completely irrelevant to anything except what the droid looked like.
 * 30) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * You refer to this droid as a "he" throughout the article, but is there anything that specifically says it has male programming?
 * 32) **Oh darn... didn't thing that.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:35, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) Attack of the Clone
 * 35) *Cut down the intro. Three paragraphs is surpassing the acceptable length for an article of this size.
 * 36) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) *The "mission to the Thicket" is a conjecturally titled article and should not be referred to that way. It isn't even necessary to the intro.
 * 38) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *You are missing an extremely large amount of noun articles, i.e. "a" and "the".
 * 40) **I'll get on that.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *Never used "unidentified" in any IU article.
 * 42) **You mean only the first phrase?--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ***I'm referring to whatever is in the article.  CC7567  (talk) 11:37, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) ****Didn't find any more than that on the first phrase. I removed it.--Kreivi Wolter 14:56, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *More to come once the others have finished.  CC7567  (talk) 20:48, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) The Grand Master is back for more...
 * 47) *Still seeing a lot of grammar errors.
 * 48) * Why was the plan complicated when Skywalker was spotted? Was it not a complicated plan before? I think that for what you are trying to say, something along the lines of "threatened" would work better.
 * 49) **Good call.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Is the fact that the droid's fight with Skywalker was later mentioned really relevant enough to put in the intro, or even in the article at all?
 * 51) **Well, maybe not in the intro, but I wouldn't remove it from the LG.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) ***I don't understand how such an offhand mention is relevant to the article in any way at all.
 * 53) ****I thought about that, and in the end, ur right. I removed it.--Kreivi Wolter 15:32, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) *Remember: call people only by their last names after their first mention in the body.
 * 55) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * How do you know that the droid "wasn't afraid of confronting" Skywalker?
 * 57) **Does he look like he is afraid? : ) I took the example from the article Shahan Alama, which is a good article.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***Indeed, and Alama was a living being capable of feelings, not a droid&mdash;and we don't know exactly what the droid's programming is, so assuming he can even feel fear to begin with is speculative. Likewise, assuming he wasn't afraid of Skywalker is also speculative. What if he was programmed to feel fear, and not show it? The point is we just don't know, so it's too specualtive.
 * 59) ****Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 15:32, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) *I'll give it another review once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:27, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) Fett returns
 * 62) *"Bane, alongside the sentinel droid, Alama and the droid commandos, headed to the entrance of the building while the rest of the team waited on adjacent tower." The way this sentence is phrased cannot work. Improper comma usage here. If you are attempting to list something, here is the correct way: "Bane, along with the sentinel droid, ALama, and the droid commandos; headed.." Emdashes can also be used as well.
 * 63) *"Flying to the entrance," He flew?
 * 64) *"Once landed, the team were encountered by Senate Commandos, who demanded Bane to surrender." Now you say "landed." However, in the previous sentence you said "Bane," but now you said it was the group who flew. Also what do you mean by "flew" and "landed"? If you are referring to the speeder, "landed" doesn't work here.
 * 65) *"the center for the control and distribution of power to both the Senate Building and Republic Executive Building" This cannot be sourced to "Hostage Crisis", unless it is actually mentioned in the episode. Check to episode guide too.
 * 66) *"Outside the room, they spotted a Senate commando on guard, whom they quickly targeted with their laser scopes and eliminated with their blaster rifles." Whose "they"?
 * 67) *"After eliminating the most of the guards with a thermal detonator," Chronologically, I don't understand what you meant here. Where were these "guards", and how did the Sentinel IG-86 droid come into contact with them.
 * 68) *Please watch your wording, this is grammatically incorrect: "This was interrupted, however, as Bane spotted a Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker in the building, and unsuccessfully attempted to shoot him." "spotted a Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker"? I have seen this recurring problem in the article before, while I was giving this article a copyedit Friday morning.
 * 69) *"The pair rushed to obey" "rushed to obey" seems oddly phrased. Please rephrase.
 * 70) *I know this falls under ; however, I have seen this occur multiple times in your articles. "As the Jedi had earlier give his lightsaber to his wife Padmé Amidala as a gift," "As" doesn't work here. In order to get a sense of chronological timeframing, you may say "Earlier".
 * 71) *"Alama then reported back to Bane, who asked about the droid, and after learning the situation, sent Sing to help Alama to capture Skywalker, in which they were successful." Improper comma usages here. Please split this sentence up.
 * 72) *Another review underway.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:19, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * If you spot a grammar error on the article, you are welcome to correct it.--Kreivi Wolter 09:31, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Please note that we are an encyclopedic site, not an English school. We should not have to correct any at all, and if you're learning from the review processes, there should not be any, either.  CC7567  (talk) 16:45, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Sigh. I know you're right. Maybe I should watch more articles and learn from that.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Koho

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 18:00, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Poor Denal Koho. :(

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee strikes again
 * 2) * Please source the quote.
 * 3) * Please source the last sentence in the BtS.
 * 4) * Possible something else will come, but otherwise another good clone GAN. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:05, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **All addressed, Lee; thanks for catching these.
 * 6) Attack of the Clone
 * 7) * You're going to have to find a better source for his death. Neither of the episodes or their guides explicitly confirmed that he died.  CC7567  (talk) 18:16, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Yeah, I was afraid about this. I'll leave it ambiguous then about Koho's death; however, we know that Denal died.
 * 9) ***It's sounding more and more like you're disregarding the whole review process that we went through (and are still going through, in fact) for Hunting the Hunters III. Being "afraid about this" sounds like you were just hoping that no one would catch it. It's simple: either a source confirms it or it doesn't. Nothing in between. I don't want to see this happen again.  CC7567  (talk) 18:29, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****I may but in, but I think meant about being afraid, that his sources don't work and not that no should catch them. Although it is not confirmed it is possible, but his death has no source.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:33, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *****My point about proper source coverage still stands regardless of whatever else happens.  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I understand your point and apologize. No offense. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:46, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * An infobox picture, perhaps? I cannot understand why you lack a main picture and yet have one in the body.
 * 14) **Unless you want me to crop a image of him, I cannot get anything decent. He was first seen right behind Rex, and then later he's behind Denal. He's in a very obstructive location.
 * 15) ***You could try asking JMAS if you're unsure about the quality of the image, but you still need an infobox image. Rule 16 states that nominations must "include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available," which indeed they are.  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ****I uploaded a temporary (Or perhaps permanent) infobox image, CC. :)
 * 17) * "Denal told the Duros bounty hunter to surrender, although their capturing of Bane was cut short when they engaged the latter in a duel, which resulted in the death of Denal." This sounds like only Denal and Bane were involved, but then you say "their capturing of Bane."  CC7567  (talk) 18:29, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Addressed; hope that helps.

Comments
 * He didn't speak one word. So no P&T.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:00, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Disciples of Twilight

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:02, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Easy work. No references, since only source is the Legacy Era Campaign Guide. Thanks to Master Jonathan for pre-nom copy-edit and review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:02, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments