Wookieepedia:Good article nominations



This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist

What is a Good article?
A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.

A Good article must&hellip;
 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, it is stable, i.e., it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;not be tagged due to an excessive number of redlinks.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 16) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

Nomination of Good articles
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all sixteen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, at least two of which are from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members, after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

 * Nominated by: NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:03, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination Comments: I think it may finally be ready... NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:03, 25 August 2008 (UTC)

(0 AC/2 users/2 total)
Support
 * 1) I strongly feel that this is a good nomination. KotOR's article page was in something of shambles several months ago with a badly written, inconsistently tensed synopsis, revealing of plot details at the beginning, etc. The fact of the matter is though, a large amount of improvement has been done since then and it is a much better article than it was then. While I don't think it's worthy of featured article status, I definitely see it as worthy of being a "good article." Niirfa-sa 23:58, 5 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) After all my grammatical nit-picking, I think it's of GA standard. Soresumakashi 06:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)

Oppose **A specialist —either a normal Republic soldier, scout, or scoundrel. Suggest changing specialist and all other cases of it to player instead. There should be no space between specialist and the mdash. 22:32, 17 September 2008 (UTC) **The padawan then follows this map to a krayt dragon's cave and assisted a local hunter, Komad Fortuna, in killing it. Assisted should be assists. **The party baits, finds the beast, and kills it, retrieved the blade from its hide. Suggest rephrasing **The party was leaving the base with droid in hand when they were confronted by Selkath authorities with reports of shots fired within the embassy. Was should be is and were should be are. *Revelation aboard the Leviathan **''The potential students of the academy prove their worth by performing various tasks and gaining prestige. Some of the challenges are martial in nature while others were mental, but all require a certain commitment to the Sith ideals''. Prove should be proved, are should be were and require should be required. **Revan discovers the Rakatans were divided into several tribes. Were should be are. **Revan was able to break Bastila's resolve and persuaded her to turn back to the light. Was should be is and persuaded should be persuades. Yay! I'm done! Have fun fixing the article! Soresumakashi 10:41, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) An excess of redlinks and the synopsis needs to be written in present tense.  Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 14:14, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *There is no limit towards how many redlinks can be in a GA. DC 15:50, 25 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Additionally, in-universe articles are to be written in past tense, per the Manual of Style. // ~mikah~  01:44, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Redlinks I was wrong about then, but a synopsis is always written in present tense. Look at the film articles. Drewton  [[Image:Era-old.png|20px]] ( Drewton's Holocron ) 13:49, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Again, directly from the Manual of Style itself, "All in-universe articles should be in past tense, per 'A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...'" Only out-of-universe articles (ie, George Lucas, John Williams) should be written in present tense. Despite whatever tense the film articles are written in, if its not past tense, its wrong. // ~mikah~  14:09, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ****This is not an in-universe article. Stylistically, plot summaries for anything almost anywhere are in the present tense&mdash;the MoS doesn't contradict this in any way, because this is an OOU article. "In contrast, articles about books, movies, games, or other real-life Star Wars material should obviously be written from an out-of-universe perspective, but should still be noted as such." Our OOU FAs also use this system, and so should this article. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 14:20, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) *****I see what you mean now, I misread what I was reading. So that would be a prominent problem with the article. I'll go ahead and try to fix as much as I can for now. And sorry about the confusion, Drewton. // ~mikah~  14:27, 28 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ******Fixed NaruHina  Talk[[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:59, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * There is no mention I can see that the soundtrack was composed by Jeremy Soule --Jinzler 09:33, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 06:39, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) This does sound kind of strict, but these are meant to be a showcase of our very best articles, so here goes:
 * Trapped on Taris
 * on the Hammerhead-class capital ship, the Endar Spire. Hammerhead should be in italics.
 * When the player wakes, Carth informs him of the situation and that they needed to find and rescue Bastila, whose escape pod had crash-landed somewhere on the planet. Needed should be need and had should be has.
 * and the slums of Lower City. Of Lower City should be of the Lower City.
 * impose a security lock down. Lock down is and should be one word.
 * that has been stolen from them by the Vulkars. Has should be had.
 * Ironically, when they found her. Found should be find.
 * Zaalbar has been captured. Has should be had.
 * The group venture into the sewers, the trio track down and rescue Zaalbar from the slavers. Suggest rephrasing.
 * They Raid the Vulkar Base. Raid should not be capitalized.
 * Afterwards, they return to Gadon and the Beks, they stay the night before going to the swoop race the next morning. Suggest rephrasing
 * At the swoop race, the neophyte racer manages to win the race. Could we just say that the player won the race? There are too many uses of race, and neophyte is a bad word.
 * Before he could accept his prize however, Brejik broke the deal at the last moment, claiming the player has cheated by using the prototype accelerator. Could should be can and broke should be breaks.
 * Bastila breaks free and a fight ensued. Ensued should be ensues.
 * Brejik and his Vulkar thugs could not defeat them and die in the lightfight. Lightfight is defined as a fight where both sides use blasters. Bastila was using a double vibro and we don't know what Revan used. And the sentence needs a full stop. Basic grammar here.
 * Canderous recommends the leader of the party to Davik for hire as a ploy. Last I heard, a ploy was a gambit.
 * It can also mean "trick." NaruHina  Talk
 * Other than that, fixed. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 23:31, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Second Star Map: Tatooine
 * As he and the others left the cave. Left should be leave.
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:15, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Third Star Map: Kashyyyk
 * As a reward for their aid, Freyyr gives his only surviving son Bacca's Ceremonial Blade and allows him to come out of exile and was no longer branded a madclaw. Suggest rephrasing.
 * Shortly thereafter, the Wookiees of the village united under their new chieftain, Freyyr, and rebelled against Czerka with the aid of the party. United should be Unite and rebelled should be rebel.
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:32, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Fourth Star Map: Manaan
 * The two were the only Human scientists still alive and were trapped in the facility. Both were's should be ares
 * the padawan persuades them to tell him what they knew. Knew should be know.
 * which was responsible for the Selkath's insanity. Was should be is.
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 23:07, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * For every question he answers incorrectly, Bastila was tortured. Was should be is.
 * Meanwhile the padawan's pick is able to infiltrate the Leviathan. Suggest rewording padawan's pick.
 * Seeing nothing else that they could do. Could should be can.
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:32, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Fifth Star Map: Korriban
 * Are you sure that should be in past tense? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:09, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Sorry, my mistake. Both are acceptable. Soresumakashi 06:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Crash-landing on an unknown world
 * Though he was required to enter alone, Juhani and Jolee, after receiving a vision that warned them that Revan was in danger, joined him at the last minute against the Elders' protests. Warned should be warn, both was and was should be is and is. Joined should be join.
 * They had the vision before which showed them that Revan is in danger.
 * Revan and the others joined the Republic's assault on the Star Forge. Joined should be join.
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:51, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * The Star Forge
 * Fixed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 22:09, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

From the Pasta Bowl of Fiolli: &mdash;  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 22:35, 26 September 2008 (UTC)
 * First off, the article isn't sourced fully. In fact, it isn't even 75% sourced. The first citation I found was the last paragraph of section five. Every section outside of the intro needs to be sourced.
 * "While KotOR does not have as much evident cut content as its sequel, Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords, it is still present." &mdash; OR. Reword or find a citation for this.
 * I personally don't feel that qualifys as OR in that it is a lead in to the cut content and we need a separate article for kotor2 cut content. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * I strongly beg to differ. If you are inferring or have deduced that this game has less cut content and this is not supported anywhere else, then it is OR. Please find a citation or reword the sentence.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:29, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Is this citation good? NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:42, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * "It features the planet Sleheyron&hellip;" What is it? The game? Sleheyron is not in the game. Reword.
 * Reworded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * "The existence of a cut planet can be also deduced&hellip;" &mdash; OR.
 * Again, it leads into it but reworded. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Same as before: Find a citation or reword. Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:29, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I did reword it. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:42, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I added a lot of fact tags to the page where there was definite missing of citation. Please look into these.
 * Section six has too many short paragraphs please restructure this section.
 * There is no source list. There are many KotOR supplements that are OOU which can be used to further beef up this article.
 * There are two very important ones: here and here.
 * Plus, Chronicles probably has some information as to further development and tying in storylines.
 * Added NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 03:29, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok, so there is a basic source list. Now, the citations from these documents are very important.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:29, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * The plot which is described in section two is very much a play-by-play of the game. While this isn't necessary bad, it is too detailed and only one means of game completion.
 * There is no mention that planets can be completed in any order.
 * From atop the synopsis: "(Note: This is based on the canonical male light side version of the game and assumes that the planets are visited in the order Dantooine, Tatooine, Kashyyyk, Manaan and Korriban. Gender, Force alignment, order of planets visited and other variables can differ depending on the input of the player.)" NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 05:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Ok, I missed that. My apologies. However, you should use the gameLS and endgame tags as needed throughout the article. The further detailing of this can be left where you have it, but I wouldn't use "Note:" or put it in parenthesis.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:29, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * There is no mention that Calo Nord can appear in multiple places, as can Darth Bandon.
 * Addressed in the Alternate Stories NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 05:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * The middle of this section lacks pictures and the ones clustered above are too close together.
 * Addressed NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 13:42, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * There is no section about primary characters. Characters are listed, but not explained with relation to their role in the game. Please see Star Wars: Tales of the Jedi for a good example of how this is done.
 * There is now a budding main character section, albeit still under construction. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 08:15, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Finished. NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|14px]] 23:42, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Honestly, this is just from a cursory look. I really didn't read too much of the article. Once these things have been addressed, I'll be happy to look at it again.

Comments
 * I'm pretty sure the excess redlink template should be at the top of the article, as per wookieepedia's page layout policies. Soresumakashi 06:47, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Moved NaruHina  Talk [[Image:Anakinsolo.png|20px]] 21:07, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Battle of the TIE Fighter Construction Facility

 * Nominated by: DjMack
 * Nomination comments: This would be my first real good article I wrote entirely by myself, just point out to me anything that needs fixing, I want to be criticized and become a better writer. SPOILERS FOR FORCE UNLEASHED, BEWARE.

(2 AC/2 users/4 total)
Support
 * 1) Good work. --Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 11:02, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * :)  Aqua  Unasi  19:11, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) DC 21:17, 2 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  15:03, 16 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 21:18, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the post-it of DC
 * 2) * Indecisive victory? For who?
 * 3) *You need an aftermath section for the battle.
 * 4) *This article was fantastic, DjMack, it was very well written. DC 18:09, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Aqua Unasi
 * 6) *Great article. Very well written indeed. A few things:
 * 7) ** You need an tag.
 * 8) ** A few things are unsourced: The first paragraph of Prelude, The two paragraphs in the Aftermath section, and a few things in the infobox.
 * 9) **Also, I went in and changed these for you, but a thing to remember for future articles is to put a tag on the article when nominating it. Also, don't forget to link to your references, and that they go immediately after punctuation, with no space between.
 * 10) *I hope to see more articles from you in the future! :)  Aqua  Unasi  19:27, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *One more thing - it looks like some things have been added into the infobox and aren't sourced. The thing about the hijacked AT-ST, the AT-ST in the casualties, and the outcome need referencing.
 * 12) ** Also, you have the first paragraph of prelude referenced by "Hasbro". Can this be more specific? Is there a website article, interview, or what?  Aqua  Unasi  20:29, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) Xadún's Dun Moch:
 * 14) *Quotes?
 * 15) *A few linking issues. Remember, once in the intro and the first appearence in the main body.
 * 16) *Intro - "raised in the dark" makes it sound like Vader kept him in a small cupboard without light. Say he was was trained in the Dark Side and the Emperor knew nothing of him. that would be sufficient.
 * 17) *Does the novel not give any specifics for the battle of duel? particular strikes, sequences of fighting etc would make the duel section far better.
 * 18) *"He would spend his time in various bars, before Starkiller found him and asked for his help to gather the enemies of the Empire." Did Starkiller just want information or help to actually get the Rebels all in one place? what was this plan?
 * 19) **Starkiller wanted to gather the enemies of the empire together. DjMack 02:23, 12 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Does Starkiller execute a plan in the game? if so, a link to this battle please, even if it doesn't exist yet. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 08:25, 14 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Not bad. Nice to see somone working on Battle GA's. Darth Xadún ( Consult the Holocron ) 13:27, 10 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) Pranay Sobusk
 * 23) * In the introduction, you only tell about the prelude. You should write about the whole battle.
 * 24) * I'd like to see a quote in the article. Kind regards,  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  16:19, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) Toprawa:
 * 26) *Your BTS is really bare bones. You should detail the differences between the events in each version of TFU. Certainly there is much that happens in the game that doesn't happen in the novel. Explain what each version introduces, how anything contradicts with other versions, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:33, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) From the sad vibe of IFYLOFD after a tough Dolphins loss:
 * 28) *"But, he quickly learned what happened to the rest of the Jedi Order, and vanished into the Outer Rim Territories." Specify what did happen to the rest of the Jedi Order.
 * 29) *I would suggest you call Starkiller Galen Marek throughout the article, as you state his actual name earlier in the article.
 * 30) *"Kota said in a rather cryptic manner that he could see the young man's future, and in it all he could see was himself, and that he would not always be Vader's servant." A bit of an awkward sentence, you use "and" twice. I suggest that you reword it.

Comments
 * Oh, next time you nominate something that recently came out, just make sure to say that there are spoilers. DC 18:04, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
 * I added everything. DjMack 01:47, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

Remove nomination (AgriCorps vote only)
 * 1) Doesn't seem to be going anywhere.  Graestan ( Talk ) 12:08, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Eh, this nom is active once again, so this removal vote is invalid now. DC 00:01, 17 October 2008 (UTC)

Fohargh

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:59, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: What the hey.

(2 AC/3 users/5 total)
Support
 * 1)  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 19:14, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 07:51, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:10, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  14:45, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Take it to FA! FA! F-*cough* Excuse me. I just Foharghed in my throat.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 02:51, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) I'd like to see the first sentence in the Bio about his origins cleaned up to avoid using the "little is known" phrasing. Admittedly, that's not what you used, but it's close enough to warrant a change, IMO.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:07, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed. Thank you for looking Chack, if anything else is necessary, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:24, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 4) * Not really an objection, but is it possible to get an image or two in the article? One of Bane perhaps, and maybe a generic Makurth image?
 * 5) **Added a generic makurth image, but I feel a Bane one is inappropriate, since we have no images of bane from that point in his life. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:49, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) ***Fair enough. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 19:14, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) ****I don't know about adding just a generic pic. It just doesn't seem right. Are there any GA/FAs with similar situations? If not, I'd suggest using an image of Bane.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:42, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *****I agree with Chack, but, I am perfectly fine with doing whatever the consensus is. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:46, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ******I also don't think that image of the Makurth is appropriate. Certainly not there. It may work in the Bts as a "this is what Makurth look like" but should not be in the main body of the article. --Eyrezer 19:35, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *******Removed per consensus. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 23:27, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) From the underwater moffship of AdmirableAckbar:
 * 12) * Is Moltok actually mentioned as his homeworld in DBPoDaNotOR? I only ask because it's not in Moltok's sources/appearances. If it isn't mentioned, then it should be removed from the infobox and the bit about the Makurth in the bio would need to be sourced (and, thus, the whole article).
 * 13) **Addressed.
 * 14) * I find the "First encounter with Bane" section to read like it might in Bane's bio. I know it's probably written from Bane's POV in DBPoDaNotOR, but I'd like to see you try to tell it more from Forhargh's POV.
 * 15) **I did the best I could (added a sentence), considering that the story is told from Bane's POV in such a way that trying to further tell it from Fohargh's POV would be exactly that&mdash;speculation, and POV. In any rate, if this is still unsatisfactory, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:31, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "So consumed by his dark side filled rage, Bane overpowered his quarry with the Force as he writhed about, and Fohargh clutched at his throat in futile attempts to free himself from Bane's invisible grasp." This reads a tad too flowerly; I'd like it altered a little to read less like a narrative.
 * 17) **Addressed.
 * 18) **Interesting character, if somewhat two-dimensional. Good work. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:43, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) Soresu
 * 20) *Can forms two, three and five be in roman numerals?
 * 21) **Addressed.
 * 22) ***You missed four instances. Use Control+f. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 23:36, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) ****Addressed now.
 * 24) * The duel began shortly thereafter. Two sentences back, it says then quickly clashed blades in battle. Hasn't it already started?
 * 25) **Addressed.
 * 26) * Bane then overpowered his quarry with the dark side of the Force as he writhed about, and Fohargh clutched at his throat in futile attempts to free himself from Bane's invisible grasp. Reword. It sounds as if Bane, not Fohargh was writhing about. You need to say that Bane used Force choke on him before it makes sense.
 * 27) **Addressed.
 * 28) * There, on the Academy's roof, the student known as Fohargh was ushered into death, having been strangled by Bane. Reword. The student known as Fohargh is not necessary, for a start.
 * 29) **Addressed.
 * 30) * He was able to transition between them suddenly and unexpectedly, which was designed to disrupt the cadence of his opponent. However, for all his skill in with the training saber, Fohargh was still unable to defeat his opponent Bane in their second encounter. Transition should be transit, and in with should be just with. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 23:05, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) **Wrong on both counts. Transition is correct, and with the is also correct.
 * 32) ***Microsoft Word says both are correct. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 23:36, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) ****"for all his skill in with the training saber" is not correct.
 * 34) *****That's what I originally thought, too, but it checks out with Word. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 00:13, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) *****Damn, I didn't see that. Addressed. Sorry, transition stays. Don't always trust Word. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 01:45, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) ******We have now both been appeased. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 17:16, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) One small thing: ...when he would face Fohargh again in the dueling ring. Could you explain what the dueling ring is or maybe make a link to it?  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  12:22, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) *Addressed. Thanks for the review, Pranay. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 14:28, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Why not just send this straight to FAN? --Eyrezer 22:47, 17 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Just cause, I currently have alot going on on the FAN, so I figured I'd send this one and the next through the GAN first. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:24, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Thank you for the read, Soresu. For future reference, all of your objections were minor enough to fall under the "sofixit" rule. Don't be afraid to use it next time;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 19:13, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

First Duel in the Iron Citadel

 * Nominated by: —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:59, 17 September 2008 (UTC)


 * Nomination comments: None.

(2 AC/1 users/3 total)
Support
 * 1)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  23:20, 2 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:06, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 21:53, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Can we just use lightsaber duels instead of contests of strength? It's more direct, and besides, duels aren't all about strength. Soresumakashi 12:01, 19 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *The next use of the word "duel" would be six words away (which happens to lead into the title), and would then disrupt the prose. I've never seen a duel that ended with tea and biscuits either;P I would ask you to reconsider please. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 00:06, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Still, not too happy about it, but okay, I guess no-one (except me) will really notice. Soresumakashi 00:59, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***I understand your position, and I am not adverse to altering my bladework on the next duel article. Thank you for looking. If anything else is required, please advise. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 13:21, 20 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) AgriCorp review:
 * 6) * Your " are off a bit. Did you use Word? The spacing between them and the quotes is unnecessary too.
 * 7) **Addressed.
 * 8) * Also, is it specifically identified as being several months?
 * 9) **Addressed.
 * 10) *Another lightsaber duel from Tommy. Nice.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:38, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Always a pleasure, Chack. Your review is appreciated. I've got several Bane ones on the FAN you may be interested in ;) —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 11:54, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) ***That you do. I'll check them out when I've got time.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:20, 2 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Before I review it, this article appears to be well over 1,000 words. Any reason it's not nominated for FA rather than GA? - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:42, 18 September 2008 (UTC)
 * Addressed some time ago in IRC. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:06, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * I brought up a concern with this article over here. --Imperialles 16:04, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Answered. —Tommy9281 [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 03:06, 12 October 2008 (UTC)

Yeeru Chivkyrie

 * Nominated by:  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  17:02, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: This is my first GAN, so it's probably not the best article on this site, but I will do a lot to bring this article up to GA standards.

(0 AC/0 users/0 total)
Support

Oppose
 * 1) Hi Sobusk. Nice to see you're trying for a GA. A few things:
 * 2) *In the intro it would be good to mention what Republic Redux is.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) * "In 0 ABY he wanted Rebel Alliance to join Governor Barshnis..." This doesn't quite make sense. I think there might be a couple of words missing. You also should mention in the intro who or what Disra is. At the moment it is unclear.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) * You also need to mention what the "negotiation" is. --Eyrezer 00:50, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) **Addressed. Thank you for the review.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  09:32, 12 October 2008 (UTC)


 * 1) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 2) *In the intro, mention should be made of Darth Vader's deployment to Shelkonwa to lead the search.
 * 3) **Addressed
 * 4) *Mention should be made of Chivkyrie's social standing within the Adarian caste system at the start of the biography.
 * 5) **Addressed
 * 6) *What question did Leia pose that caused Disra to leave the meeting?
 * 7) **Addressed
 * 8) *They fled and, against their will, he stayed on his home planet with Organa. - against who's will? did Chivkyrie want to leave the planet as well?
 * 9) **Addressed
 * 10) *Then, he brought her to a tapcaf run by the Mungra Vicria, where he had got her a job before. - do you mean that Leia was working at the tapcaf prior to the meeting with Disra, and that Chivkyrie arranged it? If so, this needs to be mentioned earlier in the article.
 * 11) **Addressed
 * 12) *Context is needed on how Organa attempted to save a child in the night.
 * 13) **Addressed
 * 14) *Context is needed on the catacombs - where are they, etc.
 * 15) **Addressed. Thank you for the review and especially for cleaning up. The things you said are still some weaknesses I have, but I'm working on it.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  20:09, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Nice to see a new user on the GA page - however, I would check your word usage and grammar. There were several missing words, or words used in place of others that had similar meaning but were not quite correct. Although I understood the majority of the article, other readers may have difficulty. I have cleaned up the article, and encourage you to take a look at the changes to better understand what I mean. This is not meant as discouragement&mdash;far from it&mdash;and I hope you do not take it as such. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:10, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Get that done, and you have my vote.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 02:12, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Somewhat Well-lit Bedroom of IFYLOFD
 * 2) *Provide context on who Darth Vader is.
 * 3) *Who are Aurek, Besh and Cresh? Provide context.
 * 4) *Unsourced. Add references to your infobox and everything else.
 * 5) *Do we have quotes for Biography and Personality and traits?
 * 6) *Check the article for spelling mistakes, please.

Comments

Matukai

 * Nominated by: Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:45, 9 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Trying out the new GAN. A bit of a different nom from me, but some people don't like the Wraith Squadron stuff.

(2 AC/3 users/5 total)
Support
 * 1) Good show. —Tommy9281  [[Image:Red lightsaber.png|20px]] ( Peace is a lie ) 04:55, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Interesting stuff. -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:40, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 08:29, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  07:00, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Good work.  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 01:39, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Does this mean that the meeting was about the world or above it?  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 21:37, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) One thing: If the Matukai have survived the Great Jedi Purge and existed in the New Republic Era, then they also existed in the Rebellion Era, don't they? If so, you need to add the Rebellion era tag in the infobox and in the template.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  15:22, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:31, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **And in the infobox? Isn't this also required?  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  17:27, 18 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***How careless (and silly) of me. Also fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 06:00, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) One little teeny-tiny thing: "Having heard that a Matukai named Mendor Typhoons and two of his apprentices had fended off several pirates near Ord Radama, a meeting was arranged between the Matukai and Jedi over that world."
 * 1) According to the source, in orbit over the world. Clarified. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 01:20, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Ernek Marskan

 * Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:26, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Also trying out the new GAN.

(2 AC/2 users/4 total)
Support
 * 1) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:32, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 10:14, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  20:50, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 15:57, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Not really an objection, but maybe some mention of his occassional recklessness in personality and traits would be nice. Voting for this either way.  SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 10:14, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Expanded a little anyway. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:35, 15 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) In the introduction, you start two successive sentences with "when". Please rephrase one.  Pranay Sobusk  ~  Talk to me  18:14, 18 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *Better? Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:29, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Toprawa:
 * 6) *Can we provide a brief descriptor for what this mission is for context? Is it an Imperial mission, Rebel mission? etc.: "During Operation Strike Fear" Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:12, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not really an objection per se, but do we have quotes relating to the Bio or P&T?  IFYLOFD  ( And now, young Skywalker, you will die. ) 02:43, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * He doesn't really say much. I've added a discussion about him to P&T. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:08, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Eelo Begraas

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 23:16, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Presumably our first Living Force nomination.

(2 AC/3 users/5 total)
Support
 * 1) I love legendary fighter pilots.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  02:16, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:00, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:21, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Ozzel 04:55, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 20:10, 18 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) * The Bothan flew a customized Z-95 Headhunter, Dicer, whose distinctive appearance. 'Whose' is meant to refer to a person, not an object.
 * 3) * Something about the high cost of loaning him from the militiary would be nice.
 * 4) * I just read troop movements. It says His quick temper and short attention span are such that the Thaereian military recognizes the necessity of keeping him "entertained" by loaning him out. Add this into personality and traits. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie ) 10:35, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Should all be addressed. --Eyrezer 19:01, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Toprawa:
 * 7) *This clause is just kind of reading strange to me. Can we clean this up a little bit? " as well as the fact it kept Begraas sufficiently entertained that he remained their employee"
 * 8) *Is "Thaere" intended to refer to the Navy here? If so, I would request you specify: "or which Thaere was the Senate-appointed protector" Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:30, 21 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Darth Stryfe

 * Nominated by: DC 03:43, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Meh, I was bored. And before anyone complains, there's nothing to add for a Powers and Abilities Section, so it isn't getting added.

(2 AC/1 users/3 total)
Support
 * 1) IT WAS ALL MY IDEA! :P IFYLOFD Talk 03:45, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 05:01, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) -  Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 12:23, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From Graestan the Cruel:
 * 2) * Another quote, please.
 * 3) * The caption to the image of Stryfe and Meeshal should be expanded beyond "Captain Meeshal."
 * 4) * A little context for why there were Yuuzhan Vong on Ossus, please.
 * 5) * Graestan ( Talk ) 12:05, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) **All of the above are fixed. Thanks for the review. DC 14:30, 12 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:
 * 8) * In the intro - a little mention of his involvement in the destruction of the Ossus Jedi Temple is needed. Also, clarification on why Cade Skywalker was present in the Sith Temple on Coruscant is needed.
 * 9) * Succession box needs sourcing. - Cavalier One ( Squadron channel ) 10:13, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) **All of the above are fixed. Thanks for the review. DC 20:56, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) Soresu
 * 12) * Fixed some grammatical, tense and spelling errors.
 * 13) **And?
 * 14) * Make mention of his Sith Tatoos.
 * 15) **Done.
 * 16) *Needs sucession box for Hand.
 * 17) **See above.
 * 18) ***No you haven't. It needs a separate sucession box for Hand. You only have one for Fist at the moment. I would do it myself, but I'm hopeless at sourcing (one of the main reasons I review GA's but don't write them.)
 * 19) * I think there was something else, but I've forgotten it.
 * 20) **Okay...
 * 21) **Thanks for the review. DC 20:56, 19 October 2008 (UTC)
 * 22) BtS needs to be sourced that Duursema created him. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 12:09, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

Comments