Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Nashiak Llalik


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nashiak Llalik

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:38, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: His sister is a GA now and he must be jealous. Hm... Not really; OS says little about his personality. But I wanted someone from Alliance Intelligence Reports

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Much improved. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 22:49, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 16:52, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:57, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) --Eyrezer 09:55, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) Very clean, great work. Graestan ( Talk ) 17:25, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Xd's quick look
 * 2) * Do not link in quotes unless the subject isn't linked in the body.
 * 3) **Done.
 * 4) * Combine the intro's two sections.
 * 5) **Done. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) * Xd1358 Talk 13:43, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * Per this forum, is he actually stated to be a human?
 * 8) **AIR, page 86, second-to-last line, specified by the omniscient narrator that writes the RPG stats. Btw, Sapph' is specified, too; CRO, page 63. Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:47, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) ***Just wanted to confirm :) Xd1358  Talk 14:52, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 10) The Grand Master
 * 11) * Seeing grammar issues throughout the article.
 * 12) **Still seeing several grammar problems.
 * 13) ***Second attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 14) * The paragraphs in the bio are cut unnecessarily short.
 * 15) * The intro is rather unwieldy. It states some extraneous information (some of which really belongs more in the P&T), and also skips over some significant information from his bio.
 * 16) **This also remains. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 21:44, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) ***Second attempt. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 17:06, February 1, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) **Tried my best at all your objections. Have a look Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:39, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 20) ***All of Jon's objections combined with the complete lack of the 1stm tag give me the increased feeling that you were rushing to nominate this. Skippy, I've seen you do better than this and I'm sure you can&mdash;as long as you take the time to be careful.  CC7567  (talk) 21:59, February 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 21) Soresu
 * 22) * In his first days First days of what? Perhaps this would be more clear if you mentioned the venture beforehand.
 * 23) **Better?
 * 24) * obtained a degree being to of the class. Is this meant to be "being top of"?
 * 25) **Typo. Changed.
 * 26) * You seems to have mixed up the words in and on. In means inside, on means... I can't think up a proper definition :P Please check for mistakes.
 * 27) **Better?
 * 28) * There are more grammar mistakes than usual for your noms. Give it a thorough readthrough. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 09:00, February 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) **Tryin' my best. Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:23, February 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 30) The Grand Master II
 * 31) * "He graduated from the Chandrilan Academy of Sciences and was recruited by COMPNOR and assigned to the Coalition for Progress during his youth." This is somewhat long-winded; also, he did all of this during his youth?
 * 32) **Modified.
 * 33) * The infobox is currently incomplete. Please add the missing fields (even if they are unfilled)
 * 34) **Done if I understand correctly.
 * 35) * Is Alliance Intelligence Reports a source for Death Watch and Sun Guard being "notorious, historical military groups"?
 * 36) **Good catch. New ref applies to both groups.
 * 37) * Any reason COMPNOR and the Coalition for Progress aren't listed under affiliations?
 * 38) **Added.
 * 39) * "for a better goal" This is rather POV.
 * 40) **Changed.
 * 41) * "which was in opposition to his beloved armors." Do we know for certain that this is true? (i.e. does the source say that his armors did not fit loosely?)
 * 42) **You're right. Removed.
 * 43) * "particularly power armors and certain specific designs such as the Radtrooper, the Zero-G and the Storm Commando." It sounds like you're lising troop types here, not armor types.
 * 44) **Modified.
 * 45) * The BTS's current wording is confusing: when you say "written by several authors," are you referring to the Alliance Intelligence Reports or Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game?
 * 46) **Modified.
 * 47) * In the bio and intro, you state that Llalik did not support the Galactic Empire, but in the P&T you state that Saren believed he didn't support the Empire. Which is true? Does the source actually state that he didn't support the Empire, or is this just Saren's belief?
 * 48) **Modified to adjust to OS.
 * 49) * Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 21:58, March 3, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) **Thanks for the review. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:13, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 51) * One last quickie: in the intro, you specifically call him a scientist; could this be mentioned somewhere in the bio as well? Jonjedigrandmaster  Jedi symbol.svg ( We seed the stars ) 19:37, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 52) **Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 22:28, March 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) Toprawa:
 * 54) * Please at least provide a redlink for Llalik's manor: "He used the money he earned to build a manor for himself on Plavin 6" Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:57, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) **Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) "from whom we have not heard from in several years" Is this quote correct? --Eyrezer 09:41, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 57) *Yes. Double-checked. AIR, page 87. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:44, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 58) * "Llalik decided to store these machines at his home" Is this the manor mentioned later? Seems likely to me, as the two buildings are mentioned in separate sources. If so, could you move the construction of the house earlier. As I said, if not contradicted, this connection would seem to fit under the logical deductions allowed. --Eyrezer 09:48, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
 * 59) **Moved. Has to be the manor (otherwise there would be an explicit contradiction) although I'm not sure if it was GFT's writer's intention. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:53, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Comments