Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Vydel Dir'Nul


 * ''The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Vydel Dir'Nul

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:19, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Crazy&hellip;

(3 Inqs/6 Users/9 Total)
Support
 * 1) Interesting. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 23:03, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 2) Yeah, quite interesting. Good work. -- 1358  (Talk) 12:46, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 3) I trust that you're seeking out more images. Whoo-hoo! Menkooroo 12:49, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) Made some BTS tweaks, hope you don't mind.  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  00:47, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
 * 5) I haven't forgotten thee, young Jedi Kasra. —Tommy  9281 01:02, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 6) That's a bingo. Thefourdotelipsis 02:33, May 28, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) Weirdo :P QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 10:04, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * Heh, now I can say "like this needs another user vote". Good work Kasra.  NAYAYEN : TALK 17:47, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
 * 1) I believe "transgendered" is the correct terminology. :P Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:32, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Trayus Academy:
 * 2) * No quotes for Bio/P&T/P&A?
 * 3) **Got one for the bio. She doesn't have any good dialogue, really.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Wow you're right.
 * 5) * You should make a link for the bodyguarded "individual."
 * 6) **Normally, I would. However, there is absolutely no info given on the person. Just that the individul was protected by Dir'Nul, hardly worthy of an article, IMO.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 7) * On that note, is there absolutely no context on this "individual?" Humanoid? Anything?
 * 8) **See above.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 9) * Was there a relationship between B'risko and Dir'Nul? You don't specify in the bio. As it stands it seems like it was she who fell in love with him, but there was never any interaction between the two prior to his murder.
 * 10) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 11) * You also need to make it more explicit in the biography that she was unaware of the fact that she had dual personalities, and that she believed Kardem to be an entirely different individual.
 * 12) **Done, I think--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 13) * Other than "After the initiation of the Clone Wars, Dir'Nul refused to fight as a Jedi General, and was not interested in fighting for the Republic's politicians, whom she viewed as greedy and self-serving." the entire first paragraph of the P&T is information restated from the bio and intro. You should alter it so instead of simply stating that she slew B'risko and the Twi'lek, say that her anger/jealousy overcame her, driving her to commit murder. And then do something similar for the rest of that paragraph as well.
 * 14) **I think it's good; I'm usually relucatant to word these types of situations unless it's stated explicitly in the source.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 15) * "Dir'Nul was featured in the article The History of the Mandalorians written by Abel G. Peña and published in Star Wars Insider 80." - was she actually featured or just mentioned? I don't own the source but I have difficulty believing she actually appeared in a prominent role.
 * 16) **She was mentioned only, taken care of.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 17) *That's it from me. Well-written. Darth Trayus ( Trayus Academy ) 18:57, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 18) **Thanks for the review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:49, May 8, 2010 (UTC)
 * 19) A few things:
 * 20) * Could you change one of the "reverted" in the intro?
 * 21) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:42, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 22) * You give the Clone Wars context in the intro, but not in the body. Please decide whether you give context to both mentions or not.
 * 23) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:42, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 24) *That's it. Good work. -- 1358  (Talk) 04:42, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 25) **Thanks for the review!
 * 26) http://objection.ytmnd.com
 * 27) * There's no context on the battle of Geonosis in the intro ---maybe just refer to it as "the beginning of the clone wars"?
 * 28) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 29) * The sentence "whom she believed was a different individual" that you have in the bio is great. Can you include it in the intro? The opening of the intro's second paragraph is a little confusing.
 * 30) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 31) * Does the Twi'lek woman that B'risko makes out with appear in the comic? If so, create an article for her.
 * 32) **Eh, but what would I call her? She was Kardem's first Twi'lek victim.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 33) ***As far as article names for unidentified people go, that's actually a pretty good one. Menkooroo 14:33, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 34) ****Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 12:36, May 11, 2010 (UTC)
 * 35) * Is it B'risko or B'rinko?
 * 36) **Fixed.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 37) * I don't think the "formerly"'s in the infobox are necessary. "As Vydel Dir'Nul" might be a better idea.
 * 38) **Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 39) * The second paragraph of the bio reads really confusingly. Kardem is referred to as "he", but then "her" attacker is referred to while she's still in Kardem form. The sentence "After he used her surname while pleading with her to stop attacking him, Kardem told the man he was going to kill him." is particularly confusing.
 * 40) **Better?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:47, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 41) *Can you get another image of her from the comic? There's room for it. Menkooroo 13:05, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 42) **Ah, just read your comment. There are a few people who you can ask for images. Feel free to be proactive on this and ask around, rather than waiting for someone to notice it. Menkooroo 13:05, May 10, 2010 (UTC)
 * 43) Stuff:
 * 44) * "By the time she arrived on the planet Perilious—which was known for its Twi'lek slave tradings—Dir'Nul slew three more Twi'lek females as Kardem." This means that she killed three more Twi'leks, in addition to the three already mentioned, right? If so, I think it should be rephrased along the lines of "Dir'Nul had slain three more Twi'lek females as Kardem."
 * 45) **Taken care of.-- 18:35, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 46) * "Plausible stories in Star Wars Tales 1–20 were initially viewed as S-canon until referenced in a non-Tales source, at which point the subject matter was elevated to C-canon status." Two things. Does this mean that only "non-outlandish" stories were S-canon (the rest were presumably N-canon)? Secondly, what was the first non-Tales source that referenced this? I'd like to see that mentioned in there, if possible.
 * 47) **There's a similar notice in Gira's article, I would presume that this is the case. And the fact that she was mentioned in The History of the Mandalorians follows this notice.-- 18:35, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 48) *Otherwise, nothing from me.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 23:42, May 21, 2010 (UTC)
 * 49) **Thanks for the review, Chack!-- 18:35, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
 * 50) Toprawa:
 * 51) * I'm not sure what you've done here exactly, but you have an empty "Light" field in the infobox with a reference in it. I'm assuming this is some kind of error. Please revise.
 * 52) **Don't know how this happened, either, fixed.-- 02:56, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 53) * Just so I'm clear, B'risko is not the individual whom she was assigned to protect?
 * 54) **That's right, she met him during the mission.-- 02:56, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 55) * The first paragraph of the P/T needs to be sourced. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:50, June 2, 2010 (UTC)
 * 56) **Fixed. Thanks for the review, Tope!-- 02:56, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

Comments


 * First, many thanks to for the pre-nom review. Secondly, no other images yet. Anyone with a copy of Dark Journey feel free to upload some.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:19, May 5, 2010 (UTC)
 * No, I don't mind the BTS changes. Thanks, Chack.-- 01:08, May 25, 2010 (UTC)