Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

 This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Category:Wookieepedia good articles.

A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.


 * Good article nominations history
 * Good article checklist
 * Good article nomination rules

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This is essential in articles over 1000 words but may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks for articles less than 500 words, no more than 5 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information, especially a biography for character articles. For articles under 1000 words in length, comprehensive detail is required with all information covered from all sources and appearances. For articles over 1000 words, broad coverage addressing all major aspects of the topic is sufficient.
 * 10) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 11) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 12) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 13) &hellip;ideally include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
 * 14) &hellip;ideally include a "powers and abilities" section on relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "Behind the scenes" section.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a comprehensive article cannot exceed 3000 words.

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of good status, putting it at the bottom of the list below. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
 * 2) Add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.
 * 3) Be sure to place sign in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
 * 4) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 5) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) *If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
 * 5) Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps votes with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
 * 6) The article is placed on the Good article list.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Good article nominations
To nominate an article for Good article status, list it here. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members&mdash;one of which must be an AgriCorps vote&mdash;after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the template. The talk page will also be tagged with the GA template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here. Also remember to add GAnom at the top of the article you are nominating.

The Clone Wars: Bait

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:31, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: One more for the OOU party

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) After numerous fixes.  Mauser  Comlink 12:54, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  Talk 01:23, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:53, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * First of all, split that giant paragraph up into two paragraphs.
 * 3) **Splitted
 * 4) * "Skywalker's Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano reports that they're approaching the ice field on schedule." Are you sure that she said "ice field"? Because, per the article, that field is on a planet and Skywalker, Kenobi, and Tano are in space. Clarify
 * 5) **Adressed.
 * 6) ***You must have misunderstood me. Could you double check the comic once more. The way you just added "in space" doesn't look right.
 * 7) ****Checked. She says the ice field. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *****However, the way you add it in the text: "the ice field in space," it make sense here. So their is an ice field in space? Clarify.
 * 9) ******(hopefully) clarified. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) * "Tano reveals that she thinks that it is a dumb plan and the Separatists will never fall for it." What is the plan?
 * 11) **Expanded.
 * 12) * You mention that Skywalker dumps the fighter out into space but later on, Skywalker appears that he was in the fighter but you didn't mention it. Also, you mention that he brought along a "fraud" lightsaber, mention this early as well.
 * 13) **Added.
 * 14) ***Now you changed it. You say now Kenobi releases the fighter into space, however, you mentioned that Skywalker released it. Double check, don't just assume/speculate Lee.
 * 15) ****It's not stated who released the fighter. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 13:30, 18 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *****No need to speculate then Lee. You can change the wording to "After the fighter was released in space...," though, Now you say the Twilight released it. I would recommend not mentioning whom released the fighter, since it isn't mentioned in the comic.
 * 17) ******Changed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * I'm seeing a repetition of "Skywalker," later on in the plot. i.e after, "In a hangar, battle droids orders the Jedi to come out of the fighter, because they are aware of his presence inside the fighter, due to the life-form scanning." Vary "Skywalker," you can use his respected Jedi title.
 * 19) **Fixed.
 * 20) * JangFett  Talk 15:46, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) **Fixed. Thanks for the review Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:26, 17 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) Changing
 * 23) * Per The Clone Wars: Headgames, it is now recommended that OOU comics shouldn't switch the tense of the sentence in the intro. Feel free to see what QuiGon had done, as it looks much better than the past approved TCW OOU comic GAs.
 * 24) **Not seeing a change.
 * 25) ***Whiy change ? It looks exactly like Headgames.
 * 26) ****Lee, no it does not. Look at the first sentence from the intro in Headgames and compare it to Bait.
 * 27) *****Sorry, I've got my dies ater today. Fixed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 14:46, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) * Per Headgames, it is now recommended that you should have the BtS of an OOU comic as this,
 * 29) **a) What it is, what it ties into, and who made it.
 * 30) ***Fixed.
 * 31) **b) What happens in it.
 * 32) ***Fixed.
 * 33) **c) Miscellanea like the Easter egg.
 * 34) ***No miscellanea.
 * 35) * Instead of dividing the BtS, as well as, adding an "Developing section," Graestan also mentioned that the BtS should have two total paragraphs, one for the OOU information and one pertaining to the actual content of the subject (including the Easter egg).
 * 36) * JangFett  Talk 23:16, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) **Fixed. Thanks for the info. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:25, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 38) Mauser:
 * 39) * Watch the referencing. You have a link called "The Clone Wars online comic page 86" that actually leads to page 69; the link called "The Clone Wars archives-eleventh page" which leads to seventh page of the archives.
 * 40) **How can that be corrected ?
 * 41) ***To correct that, don't just copy-paste from other articles, do a little wiki-formatting yourself.
 * 42) ****Think, It's done. (I hope so)
 * 43) *****I see that you didn't even touch it.
 * 44) ******Need some help with this
 * 45) *******Took some time but corrected. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:28, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) * "illustrated and lettered by Grant Gould, with art drawn also by Gould." - Uh? Why repeat the same statement twice?
 * 47) **Where is this ?
 * 48) ***I removed that mysekf during the copy-edit =)
 * 49) * Context for Twilight.
 * 50) **Added.
 * 51) ***Old? Spice freighter? You have sources for that? "Skywalker's personal freighter" should do.
 * 52) ****Fixed.
 * 53) * "due to the fact he wants to infiltrate the frigate of Confederate Head of State Count Dooku." - erm, Skywalker doesn't say that.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***He didn't say anything about his intentions directly.
 * 56) ****Fixed.
 * 57) * "Tano tells Skywalker that his plan of sneaking on the Separatist ship is a dumb." - rewrite it to look less POV. "She expresses her opinion about the plan" or something like that.
 * 58) **Fixed.
 * 59) * "However, Skywalker calms her down" - she wasn't angry pr something, why "calm down". Also, why "however"?
 * 60) **Adressed.
 * 61) * "The fighter is then realeased in space, with Skywalker onboard." - you don't mention the broken hyperdrive ring? You don't mention that the fighter appears to be damaged?
 * 62) **That was my fault, I fixed it.  JangFett  Talk 23:04, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * "Prior to boarding the fighter, Skywalker left his lightsaber on the Twilight and took a fraud lightsaber with him." - If it's prior, that it must be told prior, not after.
 * 64) **Same comment as above.  JangFett  Talk 23:04, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) * Is there a particular reason why you're using dialogue instead of quote? The second one would look better IMO.
 * 66) **I personally thinks it looks better.
 * 67) * "tells the droids that he is just waiting on an invitation." - now, that part is too trivial.
 * 68) **A part to what ?
 * 69) ***You don't need to retell every single peace of dialogue.
 * 70) ****Fixed.
 * 71) * "while he dons a spacesuit to rescue Skywalker" - that alone would suffice for a rescue? Also, resquing wasn't their intent all along, they were going after Dooku.
 * 72) **Fixed.
 * 73) ***Nothing changed in that part.
 * 74) ****It is never stated in the comic that they were after Dooku. Also what do you mean with the first ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:51, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) ****I mean that putting a spacesuit on alone will not rescue Skywalker. Also, if something is not in the comic, while it is in the summary?
 * 76) *****Fixed.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:32, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) ******Oh, come on! "He dons the spacesuit and goes into space" - that's really choppy. Lee, no offense. but you need to work on your english.
 * 78) *******Better ?
 * 79) ********Except for he doesn't leave Twilight in the comic.
 * 80) *********Hope it's now fine. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:38, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) **********Come on, Lee, check the comic again. He does not leave anywhere in it!
 * 82) ***********Right
 * 83) * "At the end of the comic, Obi-Wan Kenobi came to rescue him" - Oh, he hadn't came yet.
 * 84) **Where is this ? -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:40, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) The Grand Master
 * 86) * Your external link leads to the end of the first Season Two comic, rather than to Bait itself. Please fix this.
 * 87) **Which link exact ?
 * 88) ***There is only one link in the External Links section. It would be that one.
 * 89) ****Ah yes. Corrected and I correct the other tomorrow. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:44, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 90) *Several grammar errors.
 * 91) **Corrected several.
 * 92) ***You have made no changes.
 * 93) *You use phrases in the Plot Summary that are taken pretty much word-for-word from the comic itself. Please paraphrase these.
 * 94) **Changed some of them. Please say so if I should change them all.
 * 95) ***You have made no changes here either.
 * 96) ****Someone has changed them back. Please state if I should rewrite all or only some.
 * 97) *****Please paraphrase them all. You cannot just copy phrases from the comic.
 * 98) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:03, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 99) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 16:14, October 4, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lee, please go back and correct all of your links to the web comic. Someone has moved all season one comics to a new category called "season1" on StarWars.com. You should be able to find "Bait" within the season one comics, and then change the external link and your references.  JangFett  (Talk) 02:31, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * I hate that guy. Fixed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 19:13, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)
 * 1) Unaddressed objections for three weeks.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:36, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  CC7567  (talk) 18:21, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Tucker

 * Nominated by: -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:02, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An occasionally clone, ca. 450 words.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 *  JangFett  Talk 16:14, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *Intro is still too similiar to Axe. Mind rewriting some of it?
 * 3) **Better ?
 * 4) * The first three paragraphs of his bio are very similiar, or better yet, exactly the same as Axe. Please rewrite them.
 * 5) **Better ?
 * 6) * "Soon, Tucker was under attack under a bunch Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "a bunch" is too colloquial. Rephrase.
 * 7) **Changed, to a group.
 * 8) * Lee, I'm still seeing an resemblance to Axe. You can rewrite Tucker's bio in your own words instead of copying from the Axe article. I know Tucker had a small role, and his role was similiar to that of Axe's, however, copying an article is unprofessional and frowned upon. If you need help, don't hesitate to ask. Once you're done with rewriting sections within Tucker's bio, I'll give it a copyedit and list objections if needed.  JangFett  Talk 05:11, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) **It is now better ? If not contact me. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:49, 24 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) Minor expanding
 * 11) * At least one quote?
 * 12) **Don't have them in English.
 * 13) ***Are you sure? I haven't saw the episode for a while, but I do remember that all clones of Blue Squadron reported to Ahsoka before they launched their attack.--Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) ****Well, the problem is that i have the quotes only in German and not in English. So i need them in English, because a translation would not be correct.
 * 15) *****I see. Hopefully someone will add them in future.--Kreivi Wolter 18:23, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *" However he was overwhelmed by the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and killed." This just repeat the info given in biography. It should be rewrite to something like "However, he wasn't able to..." or so on. --Kreivi Wolter 05:40, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 17) **Fixed.
 * 18) * Techno Union Foreman Emir??? --Kreivi Wolter 17:48, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Removed emir. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) *Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:22, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 21) Attack of the Clone
 * 22) * For starts, as I've maintained for months now, there is absolutely no way to tell which clones died in the episode, which is what you have his death sourced to, besides Axe. This is not the first time I've had to tell you to "make sure that the information you provide is properly attributable to your sources."  CC7567  (talk) 01:34, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 23) **Sorry, CC. Corrected.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***You've done nothing about this, there are still mentions of his "death" in the article.
 * 25) ****CC in the episode guide it stands that he is killed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:36, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 26) *****Ahsoka's squadron starts to become overwhelmed. Tucker's fighter is blown away by droid fighters. Here is the source. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:39, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) ******...That was NaruHina who said that, not me.  CC7567  (talk) 19:53, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 28) *******Sorry for the confusion. XP NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:02, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) "My Name is O'Malley!"
 * 30) * "He served in in Blue Squadron, a Republic starfighter unit led, using the callsign "Blue Five" and participated in the Battle of Ryloth around 22 BBY." After I changed the latter part, adding a comma, I made this more obvious but the sentence cut at "led."
 * 31) **Fixed.
 * 32) * Overlinking and underlinking.
 * 33) **Fixed.
 * 34) * "the leading cruiser of the blockade" move this to when you give context on Tuuk, to extrapolate why they were specifically going after his ship.
 * 35) **Fixed.
 * 36) * No mention is made of the Republic until the final paragraph of the Bio. This should be moved to when you talk about clone troopers.
 * 37) **Fixed.
 * 38) * "Tano finally obeyed" Why did she obey?
 * 39) **Adressed.
 * 40) ***Nothing's changed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:32, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) ****Done.
 * 42) *****She turned back because of that and some of her squad died. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 01:02, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ******Done.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:50, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) *******I'll take this down to Part 2 NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) * There is no mention of the Separatist reinfocements in the Bio.
 * 46) * The image doesn't say which fighter is Tucker's.
 * 47) **I worded that objection badly. I fixed this one myself. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:47, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 48) * "However, he wasn't able to defeat the mass of Vulture droids during the battle of Ryloth and was overwhelmed and killed." Double "and." As well, this is choppy. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 03:11, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Fixed.
 * 50) ***This is still poorly worded, but I won't fix it because this is another reference to his death.
 * 51) ****Fixed.
 * 52) *Think I get them all. Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:09, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) **It's not fininshed yet. I've still got more Tucker quotes I have to use :P NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 08:32, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) Fett will look again.
 * 55) * Lee, I'm still not satisfied with this article because it still completely resembles Axe. However, I'll give it another review.
 * 56) * You must include that Tucker was "Born on Kamino" in both the intro and bio.
 * 57) **Fixed.
 * 58) * Lee, please read the third and forth paragraphs in the bio. You mention Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue Squadron to retreat two times. This is the result from copying from another article. Please go back and correct this.
 * 59) **Fixed.
 * 60) ***Still remains.
 * 61) ****They ordered her two times to retreat.
 * 62) *****However, they sound similiar. I don't believe that this was your first intention to do this, Lee. I'm still considering that this is the result from the copying/paste. Please go back and try to either rephrase the sentence in the forth paragraph, or remove it.  JangFett  Talk 11:44, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) ******Fixed.
 * 64) * "Tano finally obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Resolute, as more Separatist fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers." Finally obeyed? While you did not mention that Ahsoka disobeyed previously, "Finally" doesn't work here.
 * 65) **Fixed.
 * 66) ***"Tano obeyed, seeing the Republic forces trapped and her squadron attacked and turned back toward the Star Destroyer." Quite confusing. While "and" is repetitive in this awkwardly phrased sentence, you are adding too much of Ahsoka's poi than the general squadron. Due to Tucker being a relativity unknown character during the space battle, you should just state "Tano obeyed, and the squadron..." or something similiar, in your own words of course.
 * 67) ****Fixed.
 * 68) *****"Tano obeyed this time, she and her squadron turning back toward the Star Destroyer." Obeyed this time? Sounds like she is completely disobedient. While she did not obey the order to retreat the first time, she did the second time. However, the way you stated it makes it sounds too factually incorrect. Please remove this short choppy sentence and mention that she obeyed, but not say "this time".
 * 69) ******Fixed.
 * 70) * "Blue Squadron was then at, seeing that the Republic forces had no change, tacked by a group Vulture droids and he was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." Improper English, please reword this sentence.
 * 71) **Fixed.
 * 72) *** " As more Vulture droid fire attacked the Republic Venator-class Star Destroyers, Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down, perishing over Ryloth." "Vulture droid" is repetitive. Please, Lee, double check and reread your paragraphs. I'm still seeing a repetition of already mentioned facts, such as: "Blue squadron under attack by Vulture droids." and "Skywalker and Yularen ordered Blue squadron to retreat." Please double check. Also, it is unclear to how many Vulture droid groups there were. You mention one group attacking the Star Destroyers and another attacking Blue squadron.
 * 73) ****Fixed.
 * 74) *****Still remains, Lee. It sounds like they told Ahsoka to retreat once, and then later in the battle, they tell her again. "Yularen and Skywalker ordered Blue Squadron another time" This is factually incorrect.
 * 75) ******Fixed.
 * 76) * P&T-"Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids that opened fire on them during the Battle of Ryloth." "that opened fire?" "On them?" Please clarify. Who opened fire on what and who is "them?"
 * 77) **"Despite his pilot training, he was unable to escape death when his squadron encountered a mass of Vulture droids, which opened fire on the squadron during the Battle of Ryloth." I understand that he was unable to escape death, however, after "a mass of Vulture droids," the ending of the sentence is rather confusing. "Which" needs to be replaced.
 * 78) ***Fixed.
 * 79) * The entire BtS is rather confusing. Please rephrase the entire paragraph. You should mention "Tucker was first featured in Storm over Ryloth," rather than beginning the BtS with the series name.
 * 80) **Fixed.
 * 81) ***Still remains.
 * 82) ****Fixed.
 * 83) *More to come.
 * 84) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 07:50, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
 * 85) ***No problem, Lee.  JangFett  Talk 01:17, September 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 86) They could be captured. Or dead. Or captured and dead. GASP! Or captured AND dead!
 * 87) * That Tano retreated only after her squadmates, and Tucker's, were killed is important, it should be included. As the sentence stands now, it is also a double "and."
 * 88) **Not really relevant to Tucker.
 * 89) ***It's relevant to Tucker because his squadmates died. Perhaps this being half the motive for Tano leaving is not but that they died is, it should get at the very least receive a small mention.
 * 90) ****Should be included now.
 * 91) * "Soon, more Munificent-class frigates as reinforcements joined Tuuk's blockade, neutralizing Blue Squadron's attack run." This reads very awkwardly.
 * 92) **Fixed.
 * 93) * "After the Republic force had been caught in a trap..." What trap?
 * 94) **Fixed.
 * 95) ***It still doesn't specify what trap. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 00:26, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 96) ****The trap is not specified but I hope it is now better.
 * 97) *****The reinforcements was the "trap." There was a chronology issue that I fixed. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 23:08, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 98) * "Blue Squadron was attacked by a group Vulture droids and Tucker was shot down..." The sentence before this establishes that Blue Squadron was attacked. The sentence here is just a restating of the sentence prior, actually. Rephrase.
 * 99) **Fixed.
 * 100) * There is a skip between the second and third paragraphs of the bio. The second states that Blue was attacked by Vulture droids, it then jumps to when they are approaching the enemy flagship. Fill in the blank.
 * 101) **That's being take care of right now, Naru. Per my objection above.  JangFett  Talk 23:51, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 102) ***The jump still remains and I don't see an objection for this above. NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 02:05, September 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 103) ****Should be taken care of. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:38, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 104) *"While Blue Squadron approached Confederate Captain Mar Tuuk's command ship, the flagship of the blockade." What's the "while" for? NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 12:22, September 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 105) **Removed. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:58, September 26, 2009 (UTC)
 * 106) *"Don't Ever Be Alone." "He's making that wierd voice again!" NaruHina  Talk Anakinsolo.png 05:36, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 107) The Grand Master
 * 108) * "who served in the Grand Army of the Republic Navy". The GAR and Republic Navy were two completely separate military forces that simply worked together, so he can't be a part of the "GAR Navy".
 * 109) **Fixed.
 * 110) ***You fixed it in the intro, but not the bio.
 * 111) ****Fixed.
 * 112) *In the intro, you don't say how or why Tucker was killed. Did Tano disobey her orders? Did they just not get to safety quick enough?
 * 113) **Fixed.
 * 114) ***Now it sounds like Tano disobeyed originally, Tucker was killed, and then she obeyed. Is this what happened? Even if so, it should be worded more clearly.
 * 115) ****Clarified.
 * 116) *****"after declining her superiors' request, Tucker was killed"... More grammar problems: in this case, your "Her" would technically be refering to Tucker, which is incorrect, as Tucker is male. Once again, this is something I would normally fix myself, but it's not the job of the AC to fix your english for you. Please continue working on this and be very careful with your grammar.
 * 117) ******That wasn't from me.
 * 118) *******I don't care who it was from; the matter is still not fixed. Now all you've done is make it sound like Tano is male.
 * 119) * Are you sure your linking to the prime clone belongs where it is?
 * 120) **The link wasn't from me and I removed it.
 * 121) * "a starfighter squadron in the Republic's clone navy" The way I understand it, the Republic Navy was for all people serving in the Republic Navy, it is not exclusive to clones.
 * 122) **Fixed.
 * 123) *"to allow the ground forces to land, assist the starved Twi'leks..." What ground forces? What starved Twi'leks? You've mentioned neither of these before.
 * 124) **Added some contect.
 * 125) ***That doesn't resolve the issue. What Twi'leks? You've never mentioned any starving Twi'lek's before. This seems like it's randomly thrown in, especially since you never mention them again. What Republic ground forces? You've never mentioned these ground forces before. This also seems like it was randomly thrown in for no reason. I don't necessarily want you to remove this, but the Twi'leks and ground forces need to be mentioned sooner, so that people know what you're talking about here.
 * 126) ****The Twi'les were mentioned and it is the first mention of the ground force. I don't know why they should be mentinoed earlier.
 * 127) *****You say "to allow the Republic ground forces to land, assist the starved Twi'leks on Ryloth, and depose Tambor". What Twi'lek's? The reader doesn't know anything about any starving Twi'leks. What ground forces? Why are there ground forces? The reader doesn't know anything about "the ground forces". These both seem irrelevant and random because you have not mentioned them before.
 * 128) ******Removed the.
 * 129) *******Are the Republic ground forces supposed to be the ones to free the Twi'leks and depose Tambor? If so, please make this clearer, as right now it sounds like these were all part of Tucker's tasks.
 * 130) ********Fixed.
 * 131) *********Again, please check your grammar & tense.
 * 132) *You go from Blue Squadron being confronted by Vulture Droids to suddenly approaching Mar Tuuk's ship. What happened? Did they defeat the droids?
 * 133) **Fixed.
 * 134) ***You make it sound like they attacked the Vultures before moving to Tuuk's ship, whereas I believe their mission was only to attack Tuuk's ship. (Changing your use of the word "confronted" could probably fix this.)
 * 135) ****(Hopefully) adressed.
 * 136) *****Now all you've done is switch tenses to present tense.
 * 137) ******Fixed.
 * 138) *******This remains.
 * 139) ********Fixed.
 * 140) *********You have still not made any changes here.
 * 141) *The end of the bio isn't very clear. Was Tucker shot down on his way back to the Republic capital ships, or was he shot down after he had already reached them?
 * 142) **Hopefully clarified.
 * 143) ***"On the way to the enemy flagship"? Lee, you just said they are on their way back to the Republic capital ships, or maybe they'd already gotten back (which is what I wanted you to clarify to begin with), now you're telling me they're on their way to the enemy flagship?
 * 144) ****Better?-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:57, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 145) *****Yes, but you've now changed the meaning. I think what you have now is correct, but please check and make sure that they were on their way to the Republic flagship when Tucker was killed.
 * 146) ******Fixed.
 * 147) *******Check your grammar please. Also please check your change to the P&T. Where does it say that he was trained to pilot "Republic starfighters? How do you know that he was trained to pilot all of these in general, and not just the V-19?
 * 148) ********Fixed.
 * 149) *********This has done nothing to fix either problem. (The first being grammar for Tucker's death in the bio, the second being: what source says Tucker can pilot "Republic starfighters" in general? How do you know it's not just the V-19?)
 * 150) * No quotes available? If none directly realted to Tucker, then maybe one of Tano addressing Blue Squadron going into the battle? (In wich case she would be addressing Tucker)
 * 151) **I asked JMAS.
 * 152) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 20:14, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 153) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:02, October 14, 2009 (UTC)
 * 154) ***I'll check the episode and fix the rest tomorrow. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:31, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 155) ****Checked and he was shot down while on the way to the enemy flagship so I removed the false information. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:21, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 156) More fixes
 * 157) *Sorry for the confusion, Lee. However, they're some more issues that should be corrected.
 * 158) * "After other fighter squadrons took over the fight with the droids, Blue Squadron approached Confederate Captain Mar Tuuk's command ship, the flagship of the blockade." What "other fighter squadrons"? Blue Squadron was the only squadron dispatched to destroy the blockade.
 * 159) **No Jang, there were other squadrons.
 * 160) ***"Squadron" and "group of fighters" are different. Blue Squadron, as a whole, was the only squadron out their during the Battle of Ryloth. Are you confused with "Group Two" leader or Ahsoka's group of fighters? All of them are part of Blue Squadron.
 * 161) ****Fixed.
 * 162) *Your P&T needs some work. I realize that this falls under ; however, please read this sentence: "Tucker was a clone trooper pilot that flew a V-19 Torrent starfighter as Blue Five of Blue Squadron, to which he was assigned." I see some improper formatting. Furthermore, does this really need to be in the P&T?
 * 163) **That was from Naru not from me and I removed it.
 * 164) ***"Tucker was a clone trooper pilot trained to fly a V-19 Torrent starfighter." Just a Torrent starfighter? I do believe you should leave that bit out because it looks as if he just knows how to fly a V-19.
 * 165) ****Chnaged.
 * 166) *****I suggest that you omit the entire sentence. You can say something about this piloting abilites; however, please connect it with the other P&T sentence.
 * 167) ******Changed.
 * 168) * JangFett  (Talk) 17:31, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 169) **No need to apologize. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:36, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Lee, before I begin, I would like to know why you copied nearly the entire Axe article. I'm seeing you replaced "Axe" with "Tucker" for the most part.  JangFett  Talk 23:03, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) *First, I didn't copied the article. I took it as a assist. Second. If you want I rewrite it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 08:52, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) **Well Lee, I would like you to partially rewrite some of the battle because it is based on Axe helping Ahsoka, that's how I wrote the Axe article. Replacing "Axe" with "Tucker" isn't going to help anything. While I see a sentence or two changed to fit in with what Tucker did in the episode, I still see a huge resemblance to Axe.  JangFett  Talk 15:04, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) ***Regardless of whether you used Axe for "assistance", Lee, copying others' work is both unprofessional and unoriginal and does not have a place on this wiki. Please rewrite the article.  CC7567  (talk) 08:13, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ****I rewrote it. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:29, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) Just a note for the Acs, I believe Naru Hina is blocked and one of his objections is unstricken. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:54, October 18, 2009 (UTC)

Timar Daragon

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:48, 25 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: WP:TOTJ.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Paraphrase more. This cannot read exactly like Hok Daragon. Graestan ( Talk ) 16:20, 26 August 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *I don't exactly see how this is a problem; all the info on her is included, and the only thing that really distinguishes them is that one is male and one is female. They're together for the entirety of the comic.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 15:17, September 7, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Fine, fine, I'll paraphrase.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 22:57, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Wording has been varied. I hope this will satisfy your objection.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 21:13, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Remove nomination (AgriCorps vote only)
 * 1) Cut-and-paste of Hok Daragon. Nominator expresses no desire to paraphrase.  Graestan ( Talk ) 18:47, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Gorrm

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:32, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Giant monkey man with an earring!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:48, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Farl-suggestion:
 * 2) * As you are nominating several articles that link to Merchants' Guild, could you consider creating an article/stub for Merchant's Guild? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:49, September 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Created.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:23, September 28, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) For starters, there is information which is cited as being from FotSE which is not from that source. Graestan ( Talk ) 00:42, September 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:23, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Bomb squad trooper

 * Nominated by:-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 12:01, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: First non character/battle or OOU Article TCW nom ?

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Intro-"typical bomb squad duties" I know what you meant, however, others might know what "bomb squad duties" are. Please rephrase
 * 3) **Fixed
 * 4) ***Still remains, Lee.
 * 5) ****Eh, cleared in the next sentence
 * 6) * Intro-"&hellip;where Doctor Nuvo Vindi created probes of the Blue Shadow Virus" Factual error: he did not create the virus, he restored and made it an airborne virus.
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * In the intro, you say "Bomb Squad troopers saw action in Naboo." and then in the next sentence you say "Bomb Squad troopers were used.." Like your Tucker GAN, please watch how you phrase sentences. These are similiar to each other and looks like you're repeating redundant information. I suggest you remove "Bomb squad saw action," because it sounds like this was there first mission.
 * 9) **Fixed.
 * 10) ***I'm crossing this for now.
 * 11) * Intro-"while the rest of the forces captured Vindi" Factual error: not all went and captured Vindi. Only Skywalker and Kenobi did so.
 * 12) **Fixed.
 * 13) ***"The troopers managed to disarm the bombs Skywalker and Kenobi captured Vindi" Improper English.
 * 14) ****Fixed.
 * 15) *****Try not to use the word "managed," due to it being improperly used. Please use a different word.
 * 16) ******Fixed.
 * 17) *******I took care of this myself.
 * 18) * Intro-"Skywalker and Kenobi were able to help the clones&mdash;which were infected by the virus&mdash;by finding a cure on Iego, while Tano, Amidala and the clones destroyed all droids in the laboratory." By saying "clones" it sounds like the bomb squd was only infected, however, that is false. You failed to mention about other clone troopers&mdash;not bomb squad troops&mdash;that helped the raid and its aftermath when the virus leaked.
 * 19) **Fixed
 * 20) ***Still remains.
 * 21) ****Fixed.
 * 22) * tag in the first sentence of the history.
 * 23) **Eh, no source.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 24) ***Well, let's see. "Bomb Squad Troopers were special clone troopers in the Grand Army of the Republic and tasked with the disarming and disposal of bombs." That's "Blue Shadow Virus" :)
 * 25) ****Sourced.
 * 26) * "While Skywalker’s Padawan Ahsoka Tano created a diversion" No she did not. Ahsoka, Rex, and a group of clones were destroying the droids, and were soon joined by Kenobi. And yes, Skywalker went to save his wife from Vindi.
 * 27) **Fixed.
 * 28) * "should subdue" Too colloquial and not-encyclopedic.
 * 29) **Fixed.
 * 30) ***Don't use "Should".
 * 31) * "The plan was successful and Kenobi and the bomb troopers reached the room were the bombs were deactivated." What plan? And I thought Kenobi went with Skywalker to capture Vindi. I recall only Amdiala, Ahsoka, Rex, clone troopers only witnessed the deactivation of the last bomb.
 * 32) **Fixed.
 * 33) * "However, at the moment the troopers were in all bombs were activated by Vindi." The troopers were in all bombs? were activated by Vindi? Improper english.
 * 34) **Fixed.
 * 35) * "While Kenobi left, the clones began disarming the bombs." Okay, you're confusing me, Lee. You mentioned that the plan was successful and the bomb squad deactivated the bombs, but now you're saying Kenobi left? In the episode, Kenobi was with the bomb squad troops until Skywalker called him. At the end of the episode, when Vindi tried to leak the virus, the bomb squad deactivated the last bomb. You're making too many factual errors and it's not chronological.
 * 36) **Fixed.
 * 37) * "Some time later" When later? Rephrase.
 * 38) **Fixed.
 * 39) ***Don't use "later".
 * 40) * " The droid brought the pipe in a bomb and detonated it, spreading the Blue Shadow Virus in the laboratory." What droid? Was it Vindi's assistant? Please specify.
 * 41) **Fixed.
 * 42) * "while the clones, Tano and Amidala destroyed the droids inside the laboratory." This doesn't make sense. What droids? You could have mentioned that they found a cure to save the clones, Ahsoka, and Amidala. I don't see why mentioning the droid attack in "Mystery of a Thousand Moons" is relevant to the bomb squad.
 * 43) **Fixed
 * 44) ***Why did you remove it all? While I meant that mentioning the droid attack in the episode was irrelevant, you should have said that they found a cure and saved Amidala, Ahsoka, Rex, and who ever else was rescued.
 * 45) ****Fixed.
 * 46) * Could you find another word to replace "grippers"? Or possibly add some context for it.
 * 47) **Fixed
 * 48) *Please watch your spelling. More to come, Lee.  JangFett  Talk 19:22, September 15, 2009 (UTC)
 * 49) **Thanks for the (first) review Jang. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:32, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) Few more for now.
 * 51) * "After the scientist's capture, one bomb was taken by Vindi’s private droid. Senator Amidala found the droid and managed to take the bomb. Tano sent the bomb troopers to Amidala which successfully disarmed the bombs before Vindi activated them." These are all short, choppy sentences. Please go back and make them flow better. Also, while Ahsoka did bring the bomb squad to Amidala, make sure you mention "Due to the timely arrival of the bomb squad."  JangFett  Talk 19:49, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) **Fixed and thanks. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 15:41, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 53) * "The Republic plan was successful and Kenobi and the bomb troopers reached the room were the bombs were deactivated." Prior to this sentence, you mentioned that Kenobi and the bomb squad reached the room, however, in this sentence you say they "reached" the room and successfully deactivated the bombs again. Again, you're repeating information. also, this sentence is a factual error. Kenobi was not with the bomb squad when they deactivated the last bomb.
 * 54) **Fixed.
 * 55) ***Still remains.
 * 56) ****Hope it is now better.
 * 57) *****"The Republic plan was successful" Possibly clarify this. I don't know why you call it a "plan," as it was never mentioned in the episode.
 * 58) ******Changed to strategy.
 * 59) * "However, at the moment the troopers arrived all bombs were activated by Vindi who was fleeing." Improper English. Make sure your sentences flow well. I'm still seeing short, choppy sentences.
 * 60) **Fixed.
 * 61) ***Still remains, Lee.
 * 62) ****Hope it is now better. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 10:21, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 63) * JangFett  Talk 23:33, September 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) **Thanks for the review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 11:44, September 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 65) "However, at the moment the troopers arrived all bombs were activated by the fleeing Vindi." Arrived where? Also, Vindi wasn't fleeing when he activated the bombs. He tried, but the bomb squad "clipped" the wire of the bomb, which caused Vindi's attempt to remotely activate the bomb to fail.  JangFett  Talk 17:48, September 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) *Fixed, and I mean when he was fleeing from the Jedi.
 * 67) **Then make sure you mention it, because it will be confusing for the readers.
 * 68) ***Fixed.
 * 69) Fett will look once more.
 * 70) * "The Republic strategy was successful after the bomb troopers reached the room and deactivated the virus bombs. However, at the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory, all the bombs were activated by Vindi, who was fleeing from the Jedi." These two sentences don't fit chronologically. I don't recall the bomb squad deactivating all of them quickly, and then after the first sentence, you go back and say "At the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory.." Please go back and fix this.
 * 71) **Fixed.
 * 72) ***"The Republic strategy was successful after the bomb troopers reached the room and found the virus bombs deactivated" Now you've changed it. So the bomb troopers "reached" the room and found the bombs deactivated? I could have sworn that they were sitting on the floor and deactivating them one-by-one. This is what I meant by checking the episodes again. Also, it's still out of order; in terms of chronologically.
 * 73) ****Fixed.
 * 74) * "While Kenobi left to help Skywalker in the capturing of Vindi" Left where?
 * 75) **Fixed.
 * 76) * "However, at the moment when the troopers arrived in the bomb inventory, all the bombs were activated by Vindi, who was fleeing from the Jedi." I don't recall Vindi activating the virus bombs as he was running. Double check this.
 * 77) **He was fleeing when he activated them.
 * 78) *Lee, this article reads like a short summary of "Blue Shadow Virus" and "Mystery of a Thousand Moons". I advice that you go back and check to see if you noted every appearance of the bomb squad in these episodes.
 * 79) **Checked.
 * 80) ***Are you sure that you've listed everything? Because right now I'm seeing no change.
 * 81) ****Sure.
 * 82) * JangFett  (Talk) 14:46, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 83) **Thanks for this review. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:25, September 27, 2009 (UTC)
 * 84) The Grand Master
 * 85) *"Bomb Squad Troopers had orange markings on their armor to signify their squad." Did it signify what particular squad they were in (as you currently suggest), or that they were bomb squad troopers?
 * 86) **Fixed, but the other two will take some time. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 17:57, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 87) *Grammar issues.
 * 88) *Watch for tense shifting.
 * 89) *I'll give it another review once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:44, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * 1) I'll fix the rest tomorrow or today. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, September 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Forget that. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:32, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Horak-mul

 * Nominated by: "For England, James?" "No. For me."
 * Nomination comments:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 01:30, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Ha-ha! Cool GoldenEye reference. Fits Horak-mul--Jedi Kasra (talk) 22:52, September 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Glad you noticed. ;)  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:29, October 3, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Didn't get it. Something to do with that guy.... James Bond... was it? SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:07, September 30, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *Strike that last comment. It was on TV yesterday. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 01:52, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5)  CC7567  (talk) 02:41, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * Please watch your linking, particularly to events. I rather doubt that all of the related battles are linked. Also, if you're indeed trying to say that (what is now) the third paragraph details the Battle of Khar Delba, then it's absolutely pointless waiting to make the reference at the very end as you do now.
 * 3) **Addressed.  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 23:42, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) *His cybernetic eye is nowhere except in the infobox. Mentioning it at the end of the bio does not alleviate this issue if it's not clarified what it was.  CC7567  (talk) 01:52, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **That poses a dilemma; in the Tales of the Jedi comics no significance is placed on the eye, it isn't shown to have any powers or benefits, or that he even lost his eye in the first place. What would you like me to do?
 * 6) ***I guess it's fine the way it is, then.  CC7567  (talk) 02:41, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) From the Moffship of Grand Moff Tranner:
 * 8) *Place of death needs to be noted in infobox.
 * 9) *Context on Valley of the Dark Lords.
 * 10) *His artificial eye should be mentioned in the P&T section.
 * 11) *That's all. Good work. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 13:39, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Dor Gal-ram

 * Nominated by:  IFYLOFD  ( You will pay the price for your lack of vision! ) 02:50, September 29, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: A double nom with Horak-mul.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (talk) 17:45, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Kyber memory crystal

 * Nominated by:  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:26, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: " "

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Attack of the Clone
 * 2) * That infobox picture isn't a proper one. The holocron isn't part of the crystal, and the infobox image should (ideally) be one solely of the article's subject.
 * 3) **I realized that and added the new IB image probably at the same time you were posting this. ;) -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Still slightly biased on this one, but I guess it'll do.  CC7567  (talk) 06:19, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * The "Characteristics" section quickly takes on a drone tone and is also borderlining speculation. Yes, the crystal was "given to a Jedi Master to keep and protect," but only one was identified, and your wording is leaving room for the reader to misinterpret it as an inaccurate generalization that it was always in the care of a Master, which remains unclarified by official sources. Please fix these issues.  CC7567  (talk) 04:40, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) **How's it look now? -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) **Thanks for the fast look-see. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 04:55, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *"While Ropal was on Devaron, Duros bounty hunter Cad Bane kidnapped him and stole the memory crystal. Later, during a mission to recover a holocron Bane had stolen from the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker was coerced into opening the holocron to save his Padawan's life." Please fix up the chronology here. Factual correctness should not be sacrificed for a shorter intro.
 * 9) *No mention of Ropal's death at all. I do believe that's quite important.
 * 10) *Please try to be clearer about Bane's trap. It isn't clear how Tano became a bargaining chip. Overall, the Battle of Devaron needs a lot of expansion&mdash;not to the point where it becomes threaded with unnecessary info, but enough to help the reader understand the events.
 * 11) *When you link two independent clauses together with "however," the conjunction is preceded by a semi-colon and followed by a comma. Please keep this in mind next time.
 * 12) *I'd recommend organizing your Bts better. The canon stuff (i.e., the actual appearances) should come first before you go into any sort of its development, regardless if it dates back to A New Hope.
 * 13) *Even though that this is likely to be here through "Children of the Force" (unless it snowballs with five AC votes), I still maintain that the assumptions about Bane's escape should wait until then when it can be confirmed.
 * 14) *Your linking was extremely sporadic and inconsistent. Please try to be more careful next time.  CC7567  (talk) 06:19, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) Fett
 * 16) *I'm seeing a lack of explanation about the death of Ropal and the capture of Ahsoka. Bane wanted to torture Ropal to make him open the holocron; however, it's not explained in the article. For Ahsoka, you did not mention that Bane spotted two Jedi attacking his frigate, and he wanted to lure them for the same purpose&mdash;open the holocron. I see you mentioned "Once on board, the Jedi were lured into a trap by the Duros hunter.", though that doesn't explain it a lot. The next sentence states: "Skywalker was forced to open the holocron and let Bane insert the crystal in order to save his Padawan's life. " That is a huge time gap between the previous sentence and this one. What about Bane torturing Ahsoka, and using her to get Anakin to him.
 * 17) *"Bane then took the completed holocron, opened an airlock to blow the two Jedi into space, and escaped." Factual error, JMAS. Bane did opened the airlock; however, Ahsoka was endangered. Anakin threw a fragment of the B2 super battle droid at that ray shield control, and it opened the ray shield, allowing Anakin to save Ahsoka.
 * 18) *More to come man. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 20:33, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 19) **Jang, just so that you're aware, basically all that you've done is repeat my already-standing objections.  CC7567  (talk) 23:54, October 5, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Really? I must have not read them clearly. Well then, I agree with what you're saying, CC. Sorry about that.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:59, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * OK, not removing the nom, I'm gonna fix what I can now, but wait 'til Friday to see what this week's episode reveals. -  JMAS  Hey, it's me! 22:36, October 6, 2009 (UTC)
 * Doesn't this need a Majorspoiler tag? Nayayen [[Image:Old Republic military symbol.png|18px]](talk) 21:19, October 14, 2009 (UTC)

Unidentified IG-86 sentinel droid 1

 * Nominated by: Kreivi Wolter 09:33, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: If the article survives as lenght as its now, I may try to feature him as well.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) *I'm going to give this another review soon, for now here are some issues:
 * 3) * Intro-"Things were complicated..." "Things" is too-colloquial. Please rephrase.
 * 4) **Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * "When he was destroyed by Skywalker, Shahan Alama immediately noted that his body was lacking for lightsaber cuts." How is this relevant to mention in the "Characteristics" section?
 * 6) **Uh, it isn't. What was I thinking?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *More to come.  JangFett  (Talk) 11:16, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **I'll be waiting : )--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) The Grand Master continues his comeback...
 * 10) * Intro: You say they are going to free Ziro from a prison, and then all of a sudden they head to the Republic Executive Building. Why are they going there?
 * 11) **Noted.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) * I see many grammar issues in the intro and body. Please try to fix these yourself.
 * 13) **I will try.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) * How was the Power control room a "key" part of Bane's plan? (Don't forget, this article is from the prospective of one of the members of Bane's posse, so things like this shouldn't be left a mystery.)
 * 15) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ***Okay, but you still don't say why it was a key part. (i.e., they used it activate the lockdown) If you feel tis is not relevant enough to the article's subject to be put in, then don't bother saying it was central to the plan.
 * 17) ****Removed the key part section.--Kreivi Wolter 13:49, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) * "tried to escape in fear" Can you be sure that it was in fear, and not just that particular droid's programming? This is speculative, and should be removed.
 * 19) **I think it's rather obvious that the droid fears. But alas, ur right. It's not confirmed in any way.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 20) * Why were the Senators conferring in the East Wing?
 * 21) **I explained it, but I wonder is it relevant to this droid?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 22) ***That was a little too much; you just needed a little info about why they might be gathering there.
 * 23) * Please review the LG. I don't believe an "aftermath" section is appropriate in this case. That makes it sound like the article was centered around a battle or event, rathen than a character.
 * 24) **Hmmm. Can I just say "After destruction", as I can't say "Legacy" or "After death"?--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 25) ***Or you could not bother giving its own section, or you could make a "destruction" (or similar name) section, describing his fight with Skywalker and the aftermath.
 * 26) ****Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 27) * You say Skywalker attacked the droid while it was heading downstairs, after getting it and Alama to leave the room, but then you say "after defeating the droid, Skywalker left the room". Which is true? Did he fight the droid in the room, or outside of it? (IIRC, it was outside)
 * 28) **That was really fuzzy indeed.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 29) * I think you should move the part about Skywalker comparing the likeness of this droid to HELIOS-3D to the characteristics section only, because it is completely irrelevant to anything except what the droid looked like.
 * 30) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 31) * You refer to this droid as a "he" throughout the article, but is there anything that specifically says it has male programming?
 * 32) **Oh darn... didn't thing that.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 33) * Jonjedigrandmaster ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:35, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 34) Attack of the Clone
 * 35) *Cut down the intro. Three paragraphs is surpassing the acceptable length for an article of this size.
 * 36) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 37) *The "mission to the Thicket" is a conjecturally titled article and should not be referred to that way. It isn't even necessary to the intro.
 * 38) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 39) *You are missing an extremely large amount of noun articles, i.e. "a" and "the".
 * 40) **I'll get on that.--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 41) *Never used "unidentified" in any IU article.
 * 42) **You mean only the first phrase?--Kreivi Wolter 11:16, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 43) ***I'm referring to whatever is in the article.  CC7567  (talk) 11:37, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 44) ****Didn't find any more than that on the first phrase. I removed it.--Kreivi Wolter 14:56, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 45) *More to come once the others have finished.  CC7567  (talk) 20:48, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * 46) The Grand Master is back for more...
 * 47) *Still seeing a lot of grammar errors.
 * 48) * Why was the plan complicated when Skywalker was spotted? Was it not a complicated plan before? I think that for what you are trying to say, something along the lines of "threatened" would work better.
 * 49) **Good call.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 50) * Is the fact that the droid's fight with Skywalker was later mentioned really relevant enough to put in the intro, or even in the article at all?
 * 51) **Well, maybe not in the intro, but I wouldn't remove it from the LG.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 52) ***I don't understand how such an offhand mention is relevant to the article in any way at all.
 * 53) ****I thought about that, and in the end, ur right. I removed it.--Kreivi Wolter 15:32, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 54) *Remember: call people only by their last names after their first mention in the body.
 * 55) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 56) * How do you know that the droid "wasn't afraid of confronting" Skywalker?
 * 57) **Does he look like he is afraid? : ) I took the example from the article Shahan Alama, which is a good article.--Kreivi Wolter 16:42, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 58) ***Indeed, and Alama was a living being capable of feelings, not a droid&mdash;and we don't know exactly what the droid's programming is, so assuming he can even feel fear to begin with is speculative. Likewise, assuming he wasn't afraid of Skywalker is also speculative. What if he was programmed to feel fear, and not show it? The point is we just don't know, so it's too specualtive.
 * 59) ****Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 15:32, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 60) *I'll give it another review once these are fixed. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 16:27, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
 * 61) Fett returns
 * 62) *"Bane, alongside the sentinel droid, Alama and the droid commandos, headed to the entrance of the building while the rest of the team waited on adjacent tower." The way this sentence is phrased cannot work. Improper comma usage here. If you are attempting to list something, here is the correct way: "Bane, along with the sentinel droid, ALama, and the droid commandos; headed.." Emdashes can also be used as well.
 * 63) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 64) *"Flying to the entrance," He flew?
 * 65) **Sure did : ) --Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 66) *"Once landed, the team were encountered by Senate Commandos, who demanded Bane to surrender." Now you say "landed." However, in the previous sentence you said "Bane," but now you said it was the group who flew. Also what do you mean by "flew" and "landed"? If you are referring to the speeder, "landed" doesn't work here.
 * 67) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 68) *"the center for the control and distribution of power to both the Senate Building and Republic Executive Building" This cannot be sourced to "Hostage Crisis", unless it is actually mentioned in the episode. Check to episode guide too.
 * 69) *"Outside the room, they spotted a Senate commando on guard, whom they quickly targeted with their laser scopes and eliminated with their blaster rifles." Whose "they"?
 * 70) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 71) *"After eliminating the most of the guards with a thermal detonator," Chronologically, I don't understand what you meant here. Where were these "guards", and how did the Sentinel IG-86 droid come into contact with them.
 * 72) **Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 73) *Please watch your wording, this is grammatically incorrect: "This was interrupted, however, as Bane spotted a Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker in the building, and unsuccessfully attempted to shoot him." "spotted a Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker"? I have seen this recurring problem in the article before, while I was giving this article a copyedit Friday morning.
 * 74) **Oh damn...--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 75) *"The pair rushed to obey" "rushed to obey" seems oddly phrased. Please rephrase.
 * 76) **Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 77) *I know this falls under ; however, I have seen this occur multiple times in your articles. "As the Jedi had earlier give his lightsaber to his wife Padmé Amidala as a gift," "As" doesn't work here. In order to get a sense of chronological timeframing, you may say "Earlier".
 * 78) **Better now?--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 79) *"Alama then reported back to Bane, who asked about the droid, and after learning the situation, sent Sing to help Alama to capture Skywalker, in which they were successful." Improper comma usages here. Please split this sentence up.
 * 80) **Roger roger.--Kreivi Wolter 09:25, October 13, 2009 (UTC)
 * 81) *Another review underway.  JangFett  (Talk) 17:19, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * If you spot a grammar error on the article, you are welcome to correct it.--Kreivi Wolter 09:31, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Please note that we are an encyclopedic site, not an English school. We should not have to correct any at all, and if you're learning from the review processes, there should not be any, either.  CC7567  (talk) 16:45, October 9, 2009 (UTC)
 * Sigh. I know you're right. Maybe I should watch more articles and learn from that.--Kreivi Wolter 19:18, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

Koho

 * Nominated by:  JangFett  (Talk) 18:00, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Poor Denal Koho. :(

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:19, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Lee strikes again
 * 2) * Please source the quote.
 * 3) * Please source the last sentence in the BtS.
 * 4) * Possible something else will come, but otherwise another good clone GAN. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:05, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) **All addressed, Lee; thanks for catching these.
 * 6) Attack of the Clone
 * 7) * You're going to have to find a better source for his death. Neither of the episodes or their guides explicitly confirmed that he died.  CC7567  (talk) 18:16, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Yeah, I was afraid about this. I'll leave it ambiguous then about Koho's death; however, we know that Denal died.
 * 9) ***It's sounding more and more like you're disregarding the whole review process that we went through (and are still going through, in fact) for Hunting the Hunters III. Being "afraid about this" sounds like you were just hoping that no one would catch it. It's simple: either a source confirms it or it doesn't. Nothing in between. I don't want to see this happen again.  CC7567  (talk) 18:29, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) ****I may but in, but I think meant about being afraid, that his sources don't work and not that no should catch them. Although it is not confirmed it is possible, but his death has no source.-- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:33, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) *****My point about proper source coverage still stands regardless of whatever else happens.  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ******I understand your point and apologize. No offense. -- Clone Commander Lee  Talk 18:46, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) * An infobox picture, perhaps? I cannot understand why you lack a main picture and yet have one in the body.
 * 14) **Unless you want me to crop a image of him, I cannot get anything decent. He was first seen right behind Rex, and then later he's behind Denal. He's in a very obstructive location.
 * 15) ***You could try asking JMAS if you're unsure about the quality of the image, but you still need an infobox image. Rule 16 states that nominations must "include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available," which indeed they are.  CC7567  (talk) 18:43, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) ****I uploaded a temporary (Or perhaps permanent) infobox image, CC. :)
 * 17) * "Denal told the Duros bounty hunter to surrender, although their capturing of Bane was cut short when they engaged the latter in a duel, which resulted in the death of Denal." This sounds like only Denal and Bane were involved, but then you say "their capturing of Bane."  CC7567  (talk) 18:29, October 11, 2009 (UTC)
 * 18) **Addressed; hope that helps.
 * 19) The Grand Master
 * 20) *"...the clones joined Jedi General Anakin Skywalker and his Padawan, Ahsoka Tano." Joined them in what?
 * 21) *"In retaliation, Skywalker soon ordered Rex..." In retaliation aganist what?
 * 22) *Does any source actually explicitly state/show them engaging in "a duel" with Bane? IIRC, the confrontation, or whatever happened, wasn't shown on-screen at all except for Bane's apparent "death." Also, the fact that Bane escaped the confrontation might be worth mentioning in the article. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 01:38, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * He didn't speak one word. So no P&T.  JangFett  (Talk) 18:00, October 11, 2009 (UTC)

Disciples of Twilight

 * Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:02, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Easy work. No references, since only source is the Legacy Era Campaign Guide. Thanks to Master Jonathan for pre-nom copy-edit and review.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:02, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object

Comments

First Battle of Felucia (Clone Wars)

 * Nominated by:  CC7567  (talk) 07:29, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Let this sit for too long. Probably the only Season Two battle I'm willing to do (or will get to) for a while.

(2 ACs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) DjMack 22:59, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 05:00, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:14, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Though I would like to see one that didn't start with "Around 22 BBY, during the Clone Wars..." :P.  Grunny  ( Talk ) 06:03, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Advice taken. :P  CC7567  (talk) 06:51, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I think it could be made a bit clearer that Tano finally obeyed Skywalker's orders. The fact that "he ordered her" doesn't necessarily mean she got onto the gunship, especially since she initially resisted those orders.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 19:29, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Addressed, thanks for the review.  CC7567  (talk) 23:26, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Yes, I'm aware that it's flirting with the 1,000 word count requirement for FAs, but I'd like to see it remain stable without the need for fluff before I take it further.  CC7567  (talk) 07:29, October 16, 2009 (UTC)

Second mission to Rodia

 * Nominated by: DjMack 23:30, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It could use another image.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object Comments
 * 1) Basic stuff
 * 2) * Never copy content directly from what others wrote (in this case me for Cad Bane) in other articles. I can see that the majority of the mission section is a simple copy of what I did myself. It's extremely unprofessional and shows no effort at all.
 * 3) *You have a severe lack of context. Hypothetically speaking, I have no idea who any of the people or objects in the article are. You cannot assume that the reader is familiar with The Clone Wars.
 * 4) **Still remains, especially in the intro.  CC7567  (talk) 21:19, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) * Referencing should only be used for every sentence if it comes from a different source.
 * 6) *Nowhere in the episode are Mahtee or Wee Dunn even named, so your sourcing is faulty.
 * 7) **Still remains. Please be consistent.  CC7567  (talk) 21:19, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *There is too much unrelated info in the Aftermath. The article's focus should only be the mission, not brooding on what Bane did later.
 * 9) **Still remains. I see close to no change.  CC7567  (talk) 21:19, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) *I highly recommend reading through some of the current GAs to learn what the expectations are. Also, please do not assume that your work is the "best it can be," as it implies overconfidence and that you have no intention to learn or challenge yourself.  CC7567  (talk) 23:38, October 16, 2009 (UTC)
 * 11) **When I meant "best it can be", I didn't mean the writing, I meant content and layout wise. I just used the wrong terms. I will try to take all of your problems into account and fix the article. DjMack 00:36, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 12) ***I've done the best I could to solve the sourcing and context problems.DjMack 01:06, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 13) ****And actually, I didn't copy your content, it was actually Mauser, who originally wrote the article and I built off what he had. I didn't realize it was copied from the Cad Bane article. DjMack 01:22, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 14) *****It does not matter who copied it. The fact that you did not improve it yourself or write it in your own words does not change a thing.  CC7567  (talk) 02:28, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 15) ******Issues addressed. DjMack 03:24, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 16) *The intro should contain only what is absolutely necessary for the reader's most basic understanding of the article. I see no reason why Zinn Toa should even be mentioned.
 * 17) *Sidious is only a commander if he dictated orders during the mission.
 * 18) *Please do not link to redirects.
 * 19) *You're required to have a sources section. Please learn the rest of Wookieepedia's policies before I continue.
 * 20) *Most of the above objections are normally ones I would fix myself, but as you're new to our expectations, I am posting them all here in the hopes that you will learn from them so that I don't have to reiterate them again for any other of your nominations.  CC7567  (talk) 21:19, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * Issues addressed. DjMack 22:27, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Fett
 * 2) * Before I begin my review, please go back and correct these factual errors. While you said "Darth Sidious, the Dark Lord of the Sith and the leader of the Confederacy of Independent Systems," That is false. While, yes he was a Dark Lord of the Sith, he was not the leader of the CIS. Sidious is the de facto leader; Dooku is actually the leader. For Jango Fett, saying "the bounty hunter succeeded in accomplishing both tasks," isn't proper, and I have no clue in what you meant. By giving him context before his name, i.e. Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett, then that's fine.
 * 3) * I don't understand why you're beginning with what happens in Cargo of Doom in the prelude section. You should begin with Bane consulting Sidious via hologram, which was featured in Children of the Force.
 * 4) * "Following his success on Glee Anselm," What do you mean by this? What "success"?
 * 5) * For your BtS, please mention the airdate. It is proper if you begin the BtS with what episode the mission was featured in, the series/season, as well as the airdate. That should be at least one sentence long. After that, you may mention whatever Filoni said in the commentary.
 * 6) * JangFett  (Talk) 02:20, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) *I think its appropriate to begin with Holocron Heist/Cargo of Doom since that gives the background on why Sidious is sending him to kidnap children in the first place. DjMack 03:16, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) **Issues addressed. DjMack 03:24, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) Fett II
 * 10) *" His mission was part of his larger agenda during his work for Darth Sidious to capture four of the children listed in the contents of the kyber memory crystal." Quite confusing; please fix this. While I understand that you meant about "was part of his larger agenda"; however, the sentence doesn't flow together.
 * 11) *"...traced the pain the bounty hunter was causing through the force, and so Kenobi was sent to Rodia to protect the child." What "pain"? So they felt something and Obi-Wan was sent? Why Obi-Wan? How come not any other Jedi. You failed to mention that he volunteered to stop Bane.
 * 12) *Your prelude is confusing. I understand that you began with what occured in CotF, per my striked objection above; however, you're confusing your sources. Why are you mentioning Jango Fett, when clearly Sidious never mentioned him? Also, you began talking about Sidious' discussion with Bane in CotF, and then you switch your subject rather quickly and talked about Bane's success above Devaron. I separated the first paragraph in the prelude section for you connivance. Please go back and correct the major problem. Giving it a proper copyedit is rather hard when they're many issues to correct.
 * 13) *The next paragraphs of your prelude need fixing as well. I don't understand chronologically with what's going on. Too much is being said, and it's getting quite redundant. Please pick what's needed and what's not.
 * 14) *"(he was actually describing his own mission)" Do not add your own opinion into articles. This is speculation and/or viewer point-of-view. Please remove this.
 * 15) *"(Bane had in fact killed Ropal)" Same comment as above. Also, mentioning the death of Ropal is redundant in this case.
 * 16) *I'm going to continue the review later. Please go back and fix these problems.  JangFett  (Talk) 23:22, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Issues addressed. DjMack 21:11, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Nouane system

 * Nominated by: Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 01:57, October 17, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Continuing my own Project Nouane. I must be crazy. Plus, if passed, this will be the first system article to reach GA status.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Good work, Tranner. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 22:48, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:22, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3)  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:42, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) "As it turned out" is too colloquial. Other than that, great work.  Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:29, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done, though I had to reword the sentence because it seemed awkward without the phrase. Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research.svg (Comlink) 00:39, October 22, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Nefta

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 18:02, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: It's been a while...

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Well done, especially considering all the sources. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 20:18, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Soresu
 * 2) *Just one thing: The Rebel Alliance, by 10 ABY, has been reformed into the New Republic, and should be referred to as such. I know the Empire still calls them the Rebels but NR is the official name. Maybe you could also mention why the Empire attacked by adding that it was the Rebles that had defeated them at Endor, and had taken over galactic government or something.
 * 3) **You see, in Dark Empire, the Imperials are not the only ones who call them "the Rebels." Skywalker & Co explicitly address themselves as "the Rebel Alliance", "the Rebels", "the Alliance" and so forth. The narrative text also calls them this way. It is a blatant contradiction on Veitch's part, but, as I've already explained at my Xecr Nist FAN, until this discrepancy is resolved, I'd prefer to go with what the comic says. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:23, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Fair enough. Could you address the second half of the objection then? ATM it is a little unclear how the Rebels suddenly come into the story from nowhere. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:19, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Addressed. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:49, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *Well done. It wasn't an easy topic to GA. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 08:31, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Space Battle at Kuat

 * Nominated by: Bvdrunner 18:27, October 18, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: I think it's ready...

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) Its not. Before beginning any further review, you need to source everything. If you don't really know how to, I'll do it for you. DjMack 21:18, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) *No; if it appeared once or if the information comes from one source, then you don't need to source anything. It's self-sourcing.  JangFett  (Talk) 21:23, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Actually, there is at least one more source, so this article does need to be sourced. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:32, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ***So would the First Battle of Kashyyyk (Galactic Civil War) also not meet the requirments for GA status? It also appears solely in EaW but doesn't cite the guide. I don't actually have the guide so if someone else could summerize the information presented in it that would be much appreciated. Bvdrunner 15:26, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Yes, it would not meet the present requirements. Keep in mind, however, that it achieved good status when the rules were not so strict. As for your request, I'll see what the guide has to say. Now that you've brought the issue up, I think I'll also fix the Kashyyyk battle. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 15:39, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Thanks QuiGonJinn, that would be great. How much extra and relevent information is actually in the guide?Bvdrunner 02:53, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 7) ******In the interests of making this a learning experience, try it yourself. Lol keep it quiet though, it might not be legal. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 05:25, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * 8) *******Thanks for that. I gave it a shot. It is now sourced with the main updates being the information regarding the Sundered Hearts weakening of the fighters and the fact that the canisters were not gas but "orbital resource" canisters. I also put in the Databank source for the Incom info. Bvdrunner 03:23, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 9) QGJ
 * 10) *First of all, what is the source for the "c. 0.6 BBY" date? I don't remember the game being that specific in terms of chronology.
 * 11) *Rebel casualties: None. Are you sure? Isn't it possible for some of the escorting corvettes to be destroyed?
 * 12) *Give some context for Emergency Code Zero.
 * 13) *You need to create articles for the Kuat communications officer and the Tyranny commander, so they can be linked in this article.
 * 14) *&hellip;whose careless commander had allowed to come out of hyperspace with the shields down. "Careless" is rather POV-ish.
 * 15) *&hellip;the Rebels figured that they then had a clear shot at attacking Fresia. This is rather colloquial. Please reword.
 * 16) *Expand the "Behind the scenes" section. See the aforementioned Battle of Kashyyyk for an example. You also need to mention that the battle was identified as "Space Battle of Kuat" in the Prima Guide.
 * 17) *Nice job for a first attempt. However, please watch your linking; each item must be linked once in the intro, once in the infobox and once in the main body of the article. QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 11:29, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Ychthytonian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 03:29, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Possibly Species GA #50!

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Interesting name. :P  JangFett  (Talk) 22:30, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) What will be the next four-armed species? ~ SavageBob 06:43, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Skippy Farlstendoiro: For Your Consideration:
 * 2) *History: Consider mentioning that these guys were present in the galaxy by 0 ABY, as said in the intro. Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:54, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Ky'lessan

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:05, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: An alien species not beginning with an S. I know I'm going to regret this…

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Not only does their name not start with S, they can't even pronounce S! You've done it now, Skippy! ~ SavageBob 06:36, October 23, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Santhou Lazith'chika

 * Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:05, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: From WEG, I offer you: An NPC gamemasters did not even bother to role-play! At least I didn't.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)
Support

Object
 * 1) The Grand Master
 * 2) *"Lazith'chika had authority over several members of the Rebel Alliance, even if he was only arguably an officer." Well, was he or wasn't he? If the source doesn't explicitly say he was, then neither can we.
 * 3) *"Unidentified" should not be used in IU articles.
 * 4) *"Creepy" is a little too colloquial.
 * 5) *"and to pretend to be a harmless clown." It's not very clear here if you're being figurative or literal.
 * 6) *"of their goals and motivation" What exactly is meant here by "motivation"?
 * 7) *"the species inhabiting there" Do you mean the species inhabiting the galaxy, or the aforementioned planets? Please specify.
 * 8) *"The Long Shot Campaign" is italicized in the Appearances section, but not in the BTS. Which of these is correct? Also, please create at least a stub for the article.
 * 9) *Also, in the future, please watch your linking. Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 14:30, October 24, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * I'm using here an image from the webstrip Rookies: Rendezvous originally appearing as Hyperspace-only material (no longer available there). Having found no written policy about use of partial images from Hyperspace, I understand I can use it as per these precedents: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, some of them FA's. If those images can't used, this is a good moment to tell, to write that policy somewhere and to update all those articles.

W'iiri

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 08:03, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: One more

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Support Object
 * 1)  JangFett  (Talk) 22:31, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Skippy Farlstendoiro.
 * 2) *Context for J'uoch.
 * 3) *History: "A number of W'iiri worked for J'ouch. (…) The W'iiri, being a trusted employee, was issued". You start talking about several W'iiri and then you seem to change your mind and talk about only one individual. Do you mean "One of the W'iiri, being a trusted employee"?
 * 4) *"Nearly all the other droids were destroyed shortly after." Doesn't seem relevant for the W'iiri. Could you reword this? Maybe "Allies of these W'iiri destroyed all the other droids shortly after" (if that's what happened).
 * 5) *That all. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:29, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Nartian

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 08:13, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments:

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Support Object
 * 1) Very interesting. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 22:38, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) "Historic day" sounded POVish to me, so I cut it, but I won't cry if you want to put it back. :) ~ SavageBob 04:47, October 23, 2009 (UTC)
 * 1) Skippy Farlstendoiro
 * 2) *You describe Nartians as traditionally serving noble families. Should you mention, when describing Nackhar, that Wuher and Chalmun are not exactly the aristocrats Nartians commonly serve?
 * 3) *Nackhar's article says that he "also ran a fast-food stand in the Mos Eisley marketplace." Is it true? If it is, can it be included in the article?
 * 4) *You've got quite an obsession with multi-armed species, don't you? ;P--Skippy Farlstendoiro 11:36, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Comments
 * Thanks for the review, JangFett. I removed the "planet of" however. A personal preference. :) --Eyrezer 23:16, October 19, 2009 (UTC)

Aaron

 * Nominated by: --Eyrezer 08:13, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: What a great name for a planet.

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Support
 * 1)  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:39, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2) Planets with Biblical names. The next trend?--Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:44, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) *Naphtali? --Eyrezer 13:00, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) ** xxx? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 13:23, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Object Comments
 * 1) Prepare to be savaged...
 * 2) * Just one for now: Don't forget your "Sources" section! ~ SavageBob 14:33, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 3) **Well, the planets not actually mentioned in the Atlas, only the system, but we seem to be treating the Atlas Appendix as signifying simultaneously a planet and a system, so I'll add it in. :P --Eyrezer 22:14, October 19, 2009 (UTC)
 * 4) Maybe you should mention that the game itself does not specify that Aaron is a planet; it is only established in the Atlas.  QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 05:28, October 20, 2009 (UTC)
 * 5) *Done. --Eyrezer 08:51, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 6) Skippy Farlstendoiro:
 * 7) * Hist: "The Fromm Gang facility on Aaron had eight levels." Are you 100% sure? I understand that the game features eight levels but, could the IU facility have more levels? Or does the game show the ceiling, floor, and wall of the building? (Like with the Jawa sandcrawler in Super Star Wars
 * 8) * Bts: "Aaron is the setting for a video game released in 1988" Could you mention the name of the game somewhere in BtS?
 * 9) *You're having great fun with the Atlas, don't you? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 12:19, October 21, 2009 (UTC)
 * 10) **Done, done, and yes I am. --Eyrezer 12:30, October 21, 2009 (UTC)

Xanda

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 00:19, October 22, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: Security Captain; appeared for all of one page in Abyss

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Support Object
 * 1) Nice and easy. *Grumble* RPGs like KotOR are so much harder to deal with. SoresuMakashi ( Everything I tell you is a lie  the truth  ) 02:42, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * 2)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:33, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Dying ceremony

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:28, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: "Well, it's not technically a Hidden One..." Jujiggum runs for cover anyway. Also, the first ceremony nom

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Support Object
 * 1) Interesting nom comment, Jonny. ;)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:33, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Belth Allusis

 * Nominated by: QuiGonJinn  Senate seal.svg(Talk) 16:56, October 24, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: What am I doing in the Old Republic era? I don't know; I just liked the character&hellip;

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Support
 * 1) Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:32, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Unidentified male Devaronian minister

 * Nominated by: Jonjedigrandmaster  ( Jedi Beacon ) 15:26, October 25, 2009 (UTC)
 * Nomination comments: My first TCW season two project; weighing in at just under 300 words as of the nomination

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Support Object
 * 1) Nice to see another WP:TCW project from you, Jonny. :)  JangFett  (Talk) 17:25, October 25, 2009 (UTC)

Comments