Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

 The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.


 * History
 * Queue

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must&hellip;


 * 1) &hellip;be well-written and detailed.
 * 2) &hellip;be unbiased, non-point of view.
 * 3) &hellip;be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
 * 4) &hellip;follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
 * 5) &hellip;not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
 * 6) &hellip;not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
 * 7) &hellip;have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
 * 8) &hellip;have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction.
 * 9) &hellip;have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
 * 10) &hellip;not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
 * 11) &hellip;be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Sourcing for more information.
 * 12) &hellip;have all quotes and images sourced.
 * 13) &hellip;provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
 * 14) &hellip;include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
 * 15) &hellip;include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
 * 16) &hellip;include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
 * 17) &hellip;pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
 * 18) &hellip;counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:


 * 1) First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
 * 2) Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
 * 3) Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
 * 4) The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
 * 5) Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article."

How to vote:


 * 1) Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
 * 2) Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
 * 3) If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
 * 4) As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
 * 5) Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article."

Also remember to add Nominated at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the Featured template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the Featured article template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1)  StarNeptune Talk to me! 04:07, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thanks, Star!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 00:24, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Seems much improved now and a good job on an article with not much information on them. --  Riffsyphon  1024 04:08, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice job, Star.  Greyman ( Talk ) 04:07, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Seems above adequate Enochf 21:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose Comments
 * 1) From the Forest of Goodwood:
 * 2) * Infobox not fully sourced.
 * 3) * Can we get the introduction condensed into a smaller number of larger paragraphs, please?
 * 4) * Tense and OOU issues in the Early Life section.
 * 5) * Choppy prose and small paragraphs in the Sith-Imperial War section.
 * 6) * "After Calixte and Veed celebrated what they thought was Veed's promotion to Emperor, Calixte snuck over to Roal Fel's quarters and informed him to flee." Roal? Also, the second clause should be rewritten.
 * 7) * Small paragraphs that can be blended together in the P%T and Equipment sections as well.
 * 8) * Quotes in prose in the P&T section?
 * 9) *Unfortunately, without knowing that much about the Legacy comics, that's all I can offer.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:52, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) Toprawa:
 * 11) * Per other user objections infobox needs to be fully sourced. Including, please, the gender and species.
 * 12) * Also per previous user objections, no reason, in this case, to have two one-sentence paragraphs. Tack each onto the front and end of the middle paragraphs, respectively
 * 13) * Please reword this: "and she and Veed then plotted to place Veed on the Imperial throne"
 * 14) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:22, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * Two things with this. First, it needs to be rewritten into past tense; secondly, consider removing this entirely. Is it truly an IU axiom that little is known about her, or do we just know about her OOU because no other sources deal with her past? "Little has been recorded about the early life of Nyna Calixte."
 * 16) **That is no longer there.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) ***It is still there. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:42, 4 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) ****My bad. I thought i had removed it. To answer your original question, it's a little of both. I have reworded it.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:14, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 19) * Are there alternative reasons why they feel she reached this position? If so, please include: "although some of her colleagues on the Moff Council claimed that she had not earned the honor through merit alone."
 * 20) **That's all that been revealed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Please rewrite or remove to avoid improper OOU/present tense tone.: "As far as it can be verified,"
 * 22) * Please avoid weasel words like "apparently." Did she despise her, or did she not? Make sure this isn't too speculative: "Gunn apparently despised her mother"
 * 23) **I was on crack when I wrote that. Gunn is explicity shown to hate her mother. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 24) * Having never read these sources, I don't know what's going on here. Please elaborate on why the Empire was approached, keeping in mind articles should be written towards the casual reader: "When the new Sith Order first approached the Empire, they did so through her."
 * 25) **I fixed these (and the following few objections) while trying to focus on Nyna and not the war.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) * A few things here. The article could benefit from an explanation of what's going on here; i.e, what were her motives in allying with the Sith? Why were the other Moffs needing manipulation? Who is Roan Fel? "She manipulated the other Moffs into allying with the Sith behind Roan Fel's back,"
 * 27) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) * You give a brief explanation of Fel here, in his second mention. This should be applied to his initial mention. And, you keep referring to him by his full name, which is unnecessary. Just "Fel" will suffice: "In 130 ABY, the Emperor Roan Fel"
 * 29) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) * This ties in with the previous two objections. You just kind of write this assuming the reader knows the details of the S-I war. Don't assume anything. What kind of conspiracy is this? "the extent of the Sith conspiracy"
 * 31) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Ditto with the previous objections. Without an explanation of the war, this is very confusing. When did the GA get involved? "...that the Galactic Alliance"
 * 33) * Elaborate on what happened at Ossus, to provide a better explanation of why she is apologizing: "Calixte expressed her disapproval to Darth Maladi about the Massacre at Ossus"
 * 34) **See above.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) * At this point, honestly, I'm lost. When and how did Veed apparently becoming Emperor in their eyes? "After Calixte and Veed celebrated what they thought was Veed's promotion to Emperor"
 * 36) **Fixed. 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 37) * Again, confusing. I thought she was expecting Veed to become Emperor? "she informed him that she knew that Darth Krayt was going to install himself as Emperor"
 * 38) **Clarified (hopefully).  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) * Please give a brief description of who Antares Draco is: "secretly making his escape with Antares Draco"
 * 40) **Imperial Knight. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 41) * By the final paragraph in the S-I War section, I have no idea what you're even trying to say, or what's going on. I would suggest rewriting the section completely, again keeping in mind that if I, a dedicated SW fan, has no idea what's happening, imagine a casual visitor to this site.
 * 42) **I write articles with the intent that the reader clicks on the links provided if they want more information. I guess I shouldn't do that. :P  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) ***It reads much better now. And yeah, don't rely on links, i.e. other people, to do your writing for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:06, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * Please elaborate on who Hosk Trey'lis is and why he's being interrogated: "she attended the interrogation of Hosk Trey'lis in Darth Maladi's laboratory..."
 * 45) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) * Don't assume the reader knows what The Wheel is. Give a brief explanation of it: "After viewing one of Calixte's security cam feeds from the Wheel, they discovered that the Wheel was Cade's last known location"
 * 47) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * If possible, it would be good to specify what she used exactly: "but not before she sprayed him with a gas"
 * 49) * If known, please explain what class of ship: "Corde then proceeded to carry Torlin back to his ship, the Raider"
 * 50) **I'm not good with ship stuff, so I couldn't tell you unless it was specifically stated somewhere.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) * You don't explain until much farther down in the paragraph that both of the ships are apparently shuttles of some sort. Please identify them upon their first mention: "She explained that there were two ships parked at the Wheel: one belong to Admiral Stazi of the Galactic Alliance, and the other was a ship that had defected to Roan Fel's faction of the Empire"
 * 52) * This seems speculative, from what I can gather. If you really can't prove that he's dead, don't speculate: " apparently killing him."
 * 53) **That was an artifact left over from the Morrigan Corde article that I had missed. Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) * Please reword: "that Gunn was one of the ones who..."
 * 55) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) * The way this is written suggests that the person who informed Veed is also the one hiring Corde, but it seems like you're referring to Calixte: "Upon sharing this info with Morlish Veed, he promptly hired Morrigan Corde"
 * 57) **Clarified. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) * Where is the Sith Temple? I can assume it is on Coruscant from the article, but please specify: "to remove Cade from the Sith Temple"
 * 59) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) * Please explain why she wants these: "that he turn over to her the three dozen Yuuzhan Vong thud bugs"
 * 61) **It is explained a bit later in the article; is this really necessary? Graestan ( Talk ) 02:35, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 62) * In that same sentence, briefly give an explanation of what Black Sun is
 * 63) **Done. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:34, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) * Is "predator" a special term to describe his forces/agents? If so, specify: "to pull his predators off the Temple on her signal"
 * 65) **Its referring to the ships under his command.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) ***Please specify this in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) ****Changed to "Predator-class fighter." Graestan ( Talk ) 02:35, 9 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) * Naturally, I can assume what you mean here, but please elaborate: "After Veed made some unwanted advances toward her, she left"
 * 69) **~sigh~ Do I have to write a porno? :P  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) ***I insist! ;) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 71) * As Calixte switches off between using her own name and the Corde identity, you alternate between writing from the perspective of either name. For example, here: After she left Veed's apartment, Corde then located Cade's friends..." This is unnecessary, and mildly confusing. When she switches to the Corde identity, don't continue to refer to her as such. Make a mention initially that she has made the change, and then keep describing her as Calixte only. Please rewrite the appropriate sentences.
 * 72) **I have replaced all relevant "Corde"s with "Calixte"s.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 73) ***Nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:00, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Briefly describe who these people are that they are arguing with: "Blue and Syn were locked in an argument with Kee and Chak over Cade's ship"
 * 75) **Smugglers. Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * Explain what a boom bug is: "and others act as "boom bugs.""
 * 77) **Bugs that go BOOM! Jariah Syn lives for Boom, you know! :P Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) *As I progress through the article, I'm seeing increasingly more instances of play-by-play. Specifically, this paragraph. Please rewrite: "Corde then tasked Syn with keying a specific bug to follow Cade, etc."
 * 79) * You keep placing quotes around the term "boom bug." Unless this is done so explicitly in the source, doing so on each mention is unnecessary: "then to move the "boom bugs" near a hangar"
 * 80) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 81) * Please reword one of the Calixtes: "Back at Calixte's apartment, Calixte was in the middle of taking a shower"
 * 82) **Fixed.
 * 83) *Please note how in this same paragraph, starting "Back at Calixte's apartment," you have five sentences that start off the exact same way. "Corde then did this...Veed then did this...So and so then did this, etc." This is what I mean by instances of PBP, where things get very listy. Please rewrite.
 * 84) * Please rewrite. The use of "Sith" becomes obtrusive: "about the Sith coup in 130 ABY, thus betraying the Sith"
 * 85) **Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) * Inappropriate use of tense. Sounds very OOUish. Additionally, sounds very speculative. Unless the story substantiates this solidly, please remove: "...and as far it is known, has told no one about her identity as Morrigan Corde."
 * 87) **Well, considering that she has kept it even from Veed, who is the person closest to her (well, as close as she gets, anyway), I would say it's pretty certain that no one else knows. It's still too early to say for sure, though.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) ***In that case, I would definitely say remove it. This comes of as being rather ORish. This sounds like something that would do better to fit in the BTS, where OR/speculative info like this is more appropriate. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:09, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 89) ****Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * This just ties in with the previous objection of saying she "apparently" despised her mother. This sentence suggests it was indeed true. Keep uniformity: "For her part, Gunn despised her mother"
 * 91) **Like I said, I was on crack. ~shrugs~  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) * Inappropriate OOU tense: "Calixte had once stated to Roan Fel that she has had some success in shielding her thoughts from Force users, even though there has been no evidence to suggest she was Force-sensitive."
 * 93) **Reworded.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) ***The sentence is still problematic. "has" has a very "nowish" tone to it, rather than a purely past tense tone. Additionally, the final clause referring to no evidence that she is Force-sensitive still lacks the appropriate IU tone. "Calixte has had some success in shielding her thoughts from Force users, even though there has been no evidence to suggest she was Force-sensitive." Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:09, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 95) * And, per Acky's comments below, these two sentences don't do the Calixte character enough credit to warrant their own section. Please move them unto the P&T
 * 96) * You need to provide a source for this information: "As Morrigan Corde, she had two distinguishing pieces of equipment; the first being her comm devices, and the second being her choker containing the holo of her family. Her comm devices were located on her face, and there were two of them: one under her left eye, and the other on her chin. It remains unknown exactly how they functioned."
 * 97) **I remember seeing it in a forum post by Jan Duursema. I'll go dig it up after work.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) ***K, I sourced it.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 99) * This is an incomplete sentence: "Nyna Calixte was created by John Ostrander and Jan Duursema was first mentioned in Star Wars Legacy 0."
 * 100) **That was rectified by someone who was not me. Thanks, whoever you are! :D  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 101) * Please reword this clause: " which the scene was written in a way in that the reader is the only person privy to the secret"
 * 102) **Rewrote.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 103) * Not really an objection, but there seems to be enough concrete evidence that Calixte is the real persona, since we place the article under that name. Perhaps some kind of explanation discussing this? "but it remains unclear at this point which persona is the "real" one."
 * 104) **We don't know if Nyna or Morrigan (or neither) is her real name. I only put it at Calixte because IU, she is the more public persona.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:07, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 105) *Some final suggestions:
 * 106) *Per what I said about the SI War section, no matter how obvious the info may seem, never assume the reader knows what is going on. Make sure you write with the ignorant in mind, explaining who and what things are.
 * 107) *Also, per Wookification, please place referencing after punctuation. I've cleaned these instance up for you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:41, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 108) From Imperialles:
 * Image:Nyna Maladi Labo.jpg: Distorted. Get someone (Redemption) to re-scan it.
 * Image:Morrigan holo.jpg: Minor scan distortions at the bottom of the image. Ideally, it should be re-scanned.
 * 1) * Image:Morrigan commdevices.JPG: Needs to be cropped.
 * 2) **Is cropped. -- Darth Culator  (Talk) 13:08, 26 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) *What's the source for the pronunciation?
 * 4) **It's in the BTS.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) * Is it really necessary to split up the BTS section like that?
 * 6) **Not really. Fixed. Graestan ( Talk ) 04:22, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * --Imperialles 21:41, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 2) * "Prior to the Sith-Imperial War, Calixte was using the persona of Morrigan Corde, and was working as an agent for Imperial Intelligence." Too many was ('s).
 * 3) **Is this better?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * The third paragraph of the intro just reads awkwardly. Please fix the prose.
 * 5) **There is no third paragraph anymore. Someone (probably me) merged it into the second one.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * "Little has been recorded about the early life of Nyna Calixte." Should be "little was..."
 * 7) **Removed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * "However, prior to the Sith-Imperial War, she was using the name Morrigan Corde and was employed as an Imperial Intelligence agent." Rephrase.
 * I, and several others that I have queried on this matter, say this reads fine. Please state what exactly what you feel is wrong with it?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) ***Actually, it seems fine to me now.
 * 2) * Why do you all her "Morrigan" sometimes and Morrigan others?
 * 3) **On crack. Fixed.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * De-link quote in "Sith-Imperial War".
 * 5) **Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *"...despised her mother for leaving her and her father and entering into an affair with Morlish Veed." She had an affair with Veed? Where did that come from? Please give context.
 * 7) * "...at his apartment." Is this necessary?
 * 8) **Why not? They could have been at her place, or at a bar/restaurant.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) *"Once Darth Krayt had installed himself on the throne after killing Roan Fel's double, he sent Maladi to Calixte's quarters to get the Moff to explain herself." Explain herself for what? Krayt knew about the double?
 * 10) *In "Search for Skywalker", state that Maladi does not know about her double identity. It seems as though she does.
 * 11) * "...then proceeded to tie the still-unconscious Torlin to a chair and familiarize herself with the ship and it weapons." It weapons?
 * 12) **Fixed the minor typo.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 19:14, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) * "Corde then tasked Syn with keying a specific spy bug to follow Cade, park another spy bug outside Krayt's chambers, then to move the boom bugs near a hangar at the Sith Temple." Remove one of the thens.
 * 14) **Done.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) * No offense, but the prose in the lone paragraph of Aftermath is just bad.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:06, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) **Better?  StarNeptune Talk to me! 17:37, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) Eyrezer:
 * 18) *There seems to be quite a bit of info in the quote in the first section of the body that is not in the actual text. Can this info be added to the text, perhaps about her indecision, or not seeing Cade before she left etc.
 * 19) * I could be wrong on this, but wasn't part of the reason she left Yage because he wasn't ambitious enough for her? If IIRC, then this should be added in. I'll try and check this myself if I get the chance.
 * 20) **Hmm. I think I had the family dinner at the restaurant in mind, and looking at the text at best it would be implied. Any thoughts, Star?
 * Technically, this is still under spoiler warning, so navigate with care.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 04:07, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Good to have you back in action, Toney! :-D Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:50, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Neptune, I would suggest merging the powers and abilities section with the P&T, unless it can be expanded; there isn't, IMHO, enough info there atm to warrant its own section.-- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 15:24, 24 February 2008 (UTC)
 * I won't make this an objection per se but the article seems rather...void of life. By life I mean images. You can probably put in one more in each section (minus early life as it's short and aligned with the infobox.) -- Redemption [[Image:Redemptionusersymbol.png|25px]] (Talk) 04:19, 27 February 2008 (UTC)
 * Working on that now.  StarNeptune Talk to me! 05:51, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

(4 Inqs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:33, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Lenso and Datch: Rogues Havac didn't have time for. :P  Graestan ( Talk ) 23:33, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:49, 16 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 21:44, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) A nice short read. Well done.  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:09, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 2) * Series of short choppy sentences in Early years could be combined or have otherwise varied syntax to improve readability.
 * 3) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:29, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) **Cleaned up. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:41, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) From the Chron-O-John of Green Tentacle:
 * 6) *The last bit of notable appearances doesn't seem particularly notable, and mentioning his omission from the third edition is getting close to triviaesque. Consider removing that line unless there's a great reason to keep it.
 * 7) *As with Lenso, please expand the Forces of Corruption bit. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:41, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments

(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)
Support
 * 1) Back with another character from the X-Wing series. All comments and criticisms are welcome. Thanks! --Colinmcev 07:20, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:21, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) A good read; nicely done.  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:18, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Nice job, Colin. Brought me back to when I first read the X-wing series. I'm beginning to really enjoy your nominations. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) I had trouble revising a couple of those sentences, but that may have had more to do with my present sleep deficiency than anything inherent to the sentences themselves.  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 14:23, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6)  Jaina Solo ( Talk ) [[Image:Jainasolosig.gif |25px]] 21:33, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 17:20, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) That's... really comprehensive Enochf 21:39, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Queue Derricote, queue!  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:01, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From a quick glance, the succession box at the bottom needs to be referenced like you would the infobox. Names, titles, dates, etc. I'm looking forward to going through this article. It looks good from what I can see :)  Greyman ( Talk ) 14:33, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Done. And thanks! I enjoyed working on it. --Colinmcev 14:43, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) From Admirable's Ackbar
 * 4) * You mention, indirectly, the Battle of Borleais in the first paragraph of the biography. I would advise against this, since it assumes the reader has read the intro. The biography should be able to stand alone. If you know what I mean. I would change "...serve him on Borleias" to "...serve him in later years" or something to that effect.
 * 5) **I gotcha. Changed it to later years. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * You mention that he gained the rank of Colonel in the first paragraph, and then that he was a colonel before Yavin in the next paragraph. Same thing with the 181st in those two paragraphs. Please adjust.
 * 7) **Fixed the first one. As for the second, I took the 181st reference out of Early Life and moved it to the first paragraph of the next section. What do you think? --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) ***Perfect. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:21, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) * Same thing as the first objection in the last paragraph of "Commander of the 181st." If someone knew nothing about the character and hadn't read the intro, they would be confused by this. I suggest a similar solution to the first objection.
 * 10) **Got it. I'll have to keep this in mind for future contributions. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) * Please give Fel a rank or something when you introduce him.
 * 12) **I added a rank. Do you think that's enough? I figured the rest of the background is covered by the Rand Ecliptic reference later that sentence. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) ***Looks fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:21, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) * "...remind them we're here" should probably be paraphrased without the quotation marks.
 * 15) **Changed it to "draw attention to the wing." --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * "Palpatine, who seemed became familiar with Derricote". Wording is off there. I would've fixed it myself, but I wasn't sure entirely what you were saying, and having not read the source material I might've messed it up.
 * 17) **Whoops. Fixed. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) * In "Creating the Emperor's Plague," you again mention events which haven't happened at that point in time. "Derricote developed this particular plague more than two years before engineering the Krytos virus that would be unleashed upon Coruscant." I understand that what you're saying is important, but I would move this that sentence and everything after it in that paragraph further down, to where the Krytos virus is mentioned.
 * 19) **I started to put this in with the Krytos virus section, but then I thought maybe it works better in the last "Emperor's Plague surfacing" section. I thought it worked there better, but let me know what you think; we could easily bump it back up. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) ***Looks fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:22, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * There's a lot of present tense in the P&T. Please sort this out.
 * 22) **I think I got it all. --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * I would like you to link everything once in the Intro and once in the main body. Also, you should look for where you can link articles, since I noticed some places where a link could've been inserted.
 * 24) **Done on the first part. As for the second, you were right, I found a lot of things that could've been linked. I think I got them all but if you see any more, feel free to fix them or let me know.
 * 25) ***Looks fine. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 18:21, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 26) *Great work on this. It's nice to see noms from my favorite books, particularly non-Rogue articles. Excellent image choices, too. Keep up the good work :) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:52, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) **Thanks! --Colinmcev 05:11, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 28) Toprawa:
 * 29) * The introduction is too overdone. I'd like to see just two solid paragraphs, while cutting off the fat and leaving the most important facts.
 * 30) **I tightened it into two paragraphs. Let me know what you think, and whether you think anything I cut should have stayed in. --Colinmcev 02:52, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) *** Can you add a little bit to the second mention of the Emperor's Plague, explaining what became of the project? Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:17, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) ****What do you think of it now? --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) *****Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) * This objection may be N/A after your changes to the previous one, but you say that, "after leading the 181st to victory at the Battle of Derra IV in 3 ABY, was promoted to General and given command of an Imperial outpost on Borleias," and then follow it up with, "Before accepting the post around 4 ABY..." I added the 3 ABY for you, but Derra IV took place early in 3 ABY, just prior to Hoth. Something doesn't quite add up to me if he was given the post but didn't accept it until a year later?
 * 35) **I fixed this when I tightened the intro. Basically, what I was trying to say was Derricote was given command of Borleias after the Battle of Derra IV, but he was given his special assignment by Palpatine sometime before he actually assumed command, which happened somewhere between the battle in 3 ABY and Palpatine's death in 4 ABY. I explained this very poorly in the intro, but I think in the article itself it's pretty clear, so I think this objection has been addressed now. --Colinmcev 02:52, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * Do we know what Star Destroyer this was, specifically? Also, was the 181st attached to this Star Destroyer? If so, I would like to see a description of this much earlier in the article: "Upon returning to the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer after the battle"
 * 37) **Unfortunately, I don't believe it is known what Star Destoyer this is. I only know from the Baron Fel comic that there was a Star Destroyer there, it's never identified. If it's too distracting, I can remove the reference to the Destroyer altogether? --Colinmcev 02:52, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) ***It's fine. Do we know whether or not the 181st was attached to the ship at all? Or, at least attached to the ship during at mission? Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:17, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 39) ****It was just for this battle, so I threw in a reference to that. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * Please remove this clause. This is same thing as saying "It is unknown how she became aware of him...": "It is known only to Isard how she became aware of Derricote and how familiar she was with his Borleias operation"
 * 41) **Done. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) * Minor clarification request: You mean running around hysterically? I also seem to remember that some just lay on the ground lethargically. Perhaps add a little bit? "and they ran began running hysterically"
 * 43) **Fixed. And during this last stage, it's all hysterics; in earlier stages, its more lathargic. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * Can you specify the two names? "a combination of the world names of the viruses he combined"
 * 45) **Unfortunately, I can't find this information ANYWHERE. It's inexplicable to me that Derricote mentions in WG that its a combination of the world names, but he doesn't mention the damn names. If anyone finds this, it would be VERY helpful to me, particularly because the Krytos virus is my next FA nomination after this one. As it is, if this reference is too distracting without the world names, I could remove it. Let me know what you think. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ***No, it's ok. Too bad we can't get the names. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) * Please confirm for me that Wedge's Gamble explicitly alludes to this: "and became one of the most notable and prolific uses of biological warfare in the galaxy"
 * 48) **Actually, the comments before it and after it are WG, but that particular comment should really be attributed to the Young Jedi Knights series. I fixed that. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 49) * Please remove this unknown: "it is unknown whether the Krytos Plague stored in the Emperor's Plague Storehouse was a different virus with the same name, or whether Derricote somehow smuggled some of the real Krytos virus into the storehouse in 6.5 ABY."
 * 50) **This essentially deals with a continuity error. In YJK: The Emperor's Plague, one of the characters discovered the Krytos virus being stored, even though the storehouse was sealed up prior to 4 ABY and the virus wasn't created until 6ish ABY. I felt this was important to address since, obviously, I couldn't just leave it out. But I reworded it to remove the unknown bits, let me know if you thin it's better. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 51) ***Good, your change is perfect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) * This sentence is riddled with speculation and the same unknown phrasing. I would consider removing entirely if you can't reword this: "The exact whereabouts of the plague she took were unknown, but they were likely protected by Raabakyysh, Tarkona's Wookiee companion who exiled herself to an unknown planet after realizing the extent of her former master's evil."
 * 53) **Fixed. The book indicates it stays with Raaba but doesn't explicitly say it. I think it's safe to leave in the reference as I have it now, but if you think its too weak I can remove it altogether too. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) ***Nice. That's just how it should read.
 * 55) ****One thing I want to ask you about, is the "unknown" planet she was exiled to unknown from an in-universe planet, or unknown simply because it was never stated by the author? Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:12, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 56) *****I had thought it was an unknown planet, but looking back, it more specifically said an unnamed planet in the Outer Rim. I changed the article accordingly. --Colinmcev 04:23, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) * Please reword this sentence, while removing the speculative "seem": "These reactions seem to be a combination of cruelty, Imperial Humanocentric speciesism and a scientific detachment from his work." Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:18, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 58) **Got it. --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) * Make sure the categories at the bottom of the page are arranged in alphabetical order. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:23, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 60) **You saved the easiest for last! ;) --Colinmcev 03:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) From the desk of Atarumaster88
 * 62) * " twice as many hours to reach" Twice as many hours as what?
 * 63) **Hm...I'm not sure what that was about. My mistake; fixed it. --Colinmcev 04:20, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 64) * A little context on the collapse of the Empire, i.e. Battle of Endor, might be good
 * 65) **Added a mention to the "Borleias and the Alderaan Biotics facility" section. --Colinmcev 04:20, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 66) *" But Derricote revealed his secret defense measures, which Loor failed to discover during his review." This clause doesn't read well, and it could be integrated into another sentence.
 * 67) **I eliminated the sentence and integrated it into two different sentences in the paragraph. --Colinmcev 04:20, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 68) * " But he took an immediate dislike to Corran Horn, the Rogue Squadron pilot captured by Isard during the Battle of Coruscant". Same thing here. I'm not a big fan of starting sentences with and or but.
 * 69) **Fixed it. Is that better? --Colinmcev 04:20, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 70) * Lots of short, choppy paragraphs in P&T could be combined.
 * 71) **Better? --Colinmcev 04:20, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) *Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 19:19, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Not really an objection, but I think it would look much better in the intro if you could provide an actual estimate for the lives lost due to the viruses. I remember reading it when working on Isard; I'll look it up and get back to you. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 08:35, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I will check, but if you can find that yourself I'd much appreciate it. The only reference I recall finding so far was hundreds of thousands, if not millions, as I put it, but I think it'd be stronger with something more exact. If you find it before I do, let me know where you find it. --Colinmcev 14:17, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Unfortunately, I can't find the exact reference :(. I suggest you just go for millions, though, if the source says "thousands or millions." -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:54, 12 March 2008 (UTC)

(6 Inqs/2 users/8 total)
Support
 * 1)  Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:21, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Thanks Ataru.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:00, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3)  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:07, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4)  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 15:03, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 15:06, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) Went through this in IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:27, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) The eye thing is still weird...  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:05, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) Forged in the crucible of my cubicle.  Graestan ( Talk ) 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Things Fiolli didn't have time to mention earlier:
 * 2) * "Unlike Organa Solo, who adhered to her word to keep the meetings private, the duplicitous Spaar was already compromising the conditions of his conferences with the Chief of State." Second "already" in two sentences seems a bit awkward. Sorry.
 * 3) **Fixed.
 * 4) * "Spaar insisted that all the Yevetha desired was to return to their homeworld, and Organa Solo capitulated in the midst of the public relations disaster, lowering the shields and allowing the Aramandia to leave Coruscant." I'm not sure what this means, to be honest.
 * 5) **Rephrased it.
 * 6) * "Only one being escaped, a Grannan named Plat Mallar, who managed..." Only one having escaped...?
 * 7) **Fixed.
 * 8) * "Spaar was greeted by thousands of adoring Yevetha, who now viewed him as god-like. His return was nothing short of triumphant, and the general populace of the Yevetha adored Spaar." Perhaps reorganizing the clauses like this: "Spaar's return was nothing short of triumphant as he was greeted by thousands of adoring Yevetha. The general populace showed great adoration, viewing his as god-like." Maybe something like this might be a little less redundant and more smooth.
 * 9) **Simplified it.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:00, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) ***Thank you, Chack.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 23:07, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) *Nice work, Ataru.  Master Aban Fiolli  {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:48, 13 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) I never thought I would be able to dig up this old quote... but I underestimated Google's awesomeness: (Dan's 6/5/02 post). I think it's worth mentioning in the BTS. -- Ozzel 10:12, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) *Mentioned. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 18:07, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) From the Gonk of Gonk:
 * 15) * "As a trivial matter to Spaar, his spy, Ourn, kept him apprised of these details, but Spaar told the Paqwepori consul that the impending threat of war kept him from sending a replacement ship." The construction of this sentence makes it unclear what precisely was a trivial matter to Spaar.
 * 16) *Hopefully I found everything else; this was one of those articles I got too interested in and had trouble remembering to look for mistakes!  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 13:20, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 17) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:18, 17 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) From Graestan the Mighty:
 * 19) * Links are not always provided upon their first mention, even in the intro. Please remedy this.
 * 20) **Corrected, I think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) * Your lack of pronouns [in the intro] disturbs me.
 * 22) **Two "he"s added. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) * "The Yevetha were initially successful and even captured Commodore Han Solo, whom Spaar physically assaulted after the New Republic attacked a Yevethan shipyard, transmitting the feed to the New Republic." – Move the last clause to fit right after "assaulted" and reword the second "New Republic," please.
 * 24) **Cut and spliced. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) * "Though horrified, Spaar's brutality&hellip;" Agreement issues.
 * 26) **Agreed and clarified. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) * Specify who Sorannan is in the intro.
 * 28) **Gotcha. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * Explain his death a little more in the intro, i.e. how it was done.
 * 30) **Um . . . that is how it was done. Could you be a little more specific. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 31) ***Clarified in IRC. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 32) * Please explain what Black Sword Command is in a short clause.
 * 33) **Done, I suppose. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 34) * You definitively state twice that he is the leader of the rebellion.
 * 35) **Cut one of them. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 36) * "&hellip;so much so that Spaar knew the details of the supposedly sudden Imperial departure." Can you explain these details a bit?
 * 37) **Done. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 38) * Please differentiate Black Sword Command from Black Fleet in the article, or change one to match the other.
 * 39) **Differentiated with respect to your wishes. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 40) * "to aid Ysanne Isard in the defense of Coruscant" – Please insert a short descriptor for Isard.
 * 41) **Got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 42) * "had his chance &hellip; seized the moment &hellip; put their plan in motion" – Reads a bit redundant, and fogs up just when it happened.
 * 43) **Reworded. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 44) * Paret just let all the slaves go? Please explain.
 * 45) **The Yevetha? Yes, his orders were to get all of them off the shipyards and destroy them with his ships. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 46) ***Please describe in the article. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) ****Addressed, I think. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 48) * Explain how the Yevetha came back aboard.
 * 49) **Fixed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 50) * "including a series of bombs that would destroy Intimidator if it activated its shields" – Did it raise its own shields?
 * 51) **I'm guessing you're not familiar with the source material. The book states that it was a contingency plan in case the Yevetha failed to capture the ship. Since Intimidator was not destroyed and no mention of the bombs going off, it's logical to assume that it did not happen. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 52) ***No, it's passive. I just wanted a mention of how the shields raised&mdash;whether it was automatic or by controllers. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 53) ****That precise detail is not given, unless I'm looking in the wrong spot. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 54) *****Okay. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:09, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 55) * The capture of the bridge is described twice.
 * 56) **Corrected. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 57) * "per the evacuation plan" needs some more context.
 * 58) **Now with a dollop of context. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 59) * Please explain what the Duskhan League is, and explain what become the viceroy entails.
 * 60) **I think I got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 61) * Explain a bit more about the developments Spaar noticed on his trip, and the ramifications.
 * 62) **Ditto. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 63) * Mention Spaar's journey to Coruscant somewhere before "his entrance was carefully choreographed."
 * 64) **Mentioned. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:50, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 65) * "appearance and demeanor were carefully rehearsed to appear" – Yeah.
 * 66) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 67) * Explain the locale and setting of the private talks.
 * 68) * Aramadia – Is this intentional?
 * 69) **No, and it's been fixed.
 * 70) * Explain the Yevethan Purge, and how the NR was privy to information about the Black Fleet.
 * 71) **Explained the second part. What more information needs to be added about the purge? It seems comprehensive to me.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 72) * Please either create a diplomatic hostel article or call it "a" diplomatic hostel. Or both. ;)
 * 73) **Changed to "a". Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 74) * Who gave Peramis permission?
 * 75) **The book doesn't say.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 76) * Please explain initially what the broadcast is.
 * 77) **Addressed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 78) * Alpha Blue needs a little background, and the half dozen individuals need to be identified.
 * 79) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 80) * Please expound on the Fifth Fleet's business near the cluster.
 * 81) **Business noted. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 82) * "Once the Republic was paralyzed by political infighting &hellip; upon his return" – Not to be used together.
 * 83) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 84) * "who informed him of the Fifth Fleet's redeployment to Koornacht" – When did this happen? Explain a little.
 * 85) **Got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 86) * What's the earlier mission you allude to?
 * 87) **Possibly clarified through fixing above. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:11, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 88) * The Fifth Fleet seems to have moved again; please provide detail.
 * 89) **Could you elucidate some on where you are indicating? Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:24, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 90) * Explain what Doornik-319 is.
 * 91) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 92) * "Later, a reconnaissance X-wing pilot blew himself and his ship up near a Yevethan corvette after they attempted to capture him, destroying the ship. In response, Spaar sent the officer in charge home in disgrace" – Clarify.
 * 93) **Did so.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 94) * Which fleet would he send a spy shuttle to? And is there an article for the spy shuttle?
 * 95) **Clarified and article made. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:11, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 96) * Tig Peramis is explained twice.
 * 97) **Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 98) * "Solo was taken before Spaar and interrogated, then beaten by the darama." The darama is never explained before this, aside from a fleeting reference in the intro. Please explain at the beginning of the body.
 * 99) **Explained.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 20:59, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 100) * Explain the Fallanassi illusions a bit. Also, explain their role in the conflict somewhat.
 * 101) **Got it. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 03:11, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 102) * Define "breederies." Create an article, if it's something specified in the books.
 * 103) **Created an article.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 14:06, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 104) * Confirm Spaar's actual cause of death, or tell me here that K-McD leaves it at that.
 * 105) **It's left at that. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 106) * OR in the P&T. Please remove.
 * 107) **It would be appreciated if you were more specific. Yevethan xenophobia is well-documented, if that's what you're referring to. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 108) ***The word "likely" appears in the sentence I refer to. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 109) ****Fixed.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:53, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 110) * A quote is linked to an external site, with no listing in the Sources or Notes and references, and no explanation of what the source is.
 * 111) **Do you have MoS or precedent to support justifying a note/source appearance. If it was a source, it would have to be canon, and the author's website is not canon. Adding a reference would only add redundant citations. On the other hand, there is precedent for including OOU quotes from other sources on articles without citation.
 * 112) ***You could add a BtS sentence about K-McD's site explanation, and cite it in a reference tag. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 113) * Source list needs to be sorted in order of publication date.
 * 114) **Addressed. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 115) * Infobox not fully sourced.
 * 116) **Could you be a bit more specific on the infobox? I see references by everything and redundant sourcing is not in the MoS. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 14:46, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 117) ***Succession box. "None." My bad; sorry. Graestan ( Talk ) 15:19, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 118) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:44, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments

'''Approved by Inquisitorius 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Yet another WP:NEGTC nomination. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 20:21, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I can't object with this, because I have no idea where I read it, but I know that somewhere someone (Rostini? Dan?) sais that the reason he has an eye in is hand is because Sutfin thought it would look cool.

(3 Inqs/2 User/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:12, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Great stuff. I love reading things I know nothing about.  Graestan ( Talk ) 03:14, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Nice job, Acky. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:21, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:13, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5)  Greyman ( Talk ) 03:50, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The second paragraph of the intro is a bit PBP. Can you cut it down a little bit?
 * 3) **Better?
 * 4) * What do you mean here? Procuring his identity? Capturing him? If you mean to say he captured him, I would just reword it to say just that: "broke the Jedi Code in procuring Resa Greenbark's seller"
 * 5) **Addressed.
 * 6) * You never identify Bomo has a Nosaurian, but refer to him as such here. Please explain he is of the species back in the first paragraph: "though the Nosaurian was furious at him"
 * 7) **Since I've now removed that particular part of the sentence, I don't think it's necessary.
 * 8) *Not an objection, but always remember to place a period after your image captions.
 * 9) **According to Gonk, most image captions shouldn't have full stops, since they're not proper sentences. I don't really care either way, though.
 * 10) ***Yes, Gonk is correct. FWIW, from Wikipedia's MOS: "If the caption is a complete sentence, it should always end in a period (or other appropriate punctuation). If the caption is not a complete sentence, it should not have a period at the end."
 * 11) * Please either create an article or link this someplace to avoid linking to Wikipedia in the body itself: "They principally used guerrilla warfare"
 * 12) **Addressed.
 * 13) * The way you refer to this as the civilian transport, put it into the context of assuming we already know what this is. You only describe the populace as finding transport off the planet. Please do a little to specify earlier on: "having ensured the departure of the civilian transport"
 * 14) **Done.
 * 15) * Please reword one of these eventually's: "The two eventually awoke and worked together to climb out of their pit, eventually..."
 * 16) **Done.
 * 17) * This is kind of confusing. So, he wanted to attack the spaceport, Jennir talked him out of it, but then they still went to the spaceport? Please clarify: "Greenbark wanted to launch a suicide attack against the Imperials in the spaceport there and then. Jennir's counsel prevailed, however, and the two covertly made their way into the planet's main spaceport."
 * 18) **Clarified some.
 * 19) ***Good.
 * 20) * I know we talked about this, but I dislike this quote simply because of its apparent third person description. Calling himself by the third person doesn't exactly equate to first person inner thoughts, IMO: "So what if the future is a path that leads nowhere? All he can do is walk that path one step at a time." Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:43, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) **Removed it. Thanks for the review and copyedit. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:47, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Obviously, I'll update the article when Jennir appears in future Dark Times issues. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 00:12, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 02:40, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Already went through this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:25, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Excellent.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 19:36, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:17, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Muwhaha. WP:TOTJ keeps on rolling, everyone ;) This is my first FA in a month or two, but expect plenty of more Tales of the Jedi nominations over the coming weeks/months from myself and others. I plan to make you all sick of us once again :P Oh, and recruitment here -- new writers and editors are always welcomed on WP:TOTJ . Greyman ( Talk ) 02:40, 18 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/2 User/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:06, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Graestan ( Talk ) 12:42, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Reads well; informative.  Greyman ( Talk ) 17:10, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Objections resolved over IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:54, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 01:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) From Graestan the Mighty:
 * 2) * "duel matches" – Can an alternative term be found?
 * 3) **"organized competition" substituted.
 * 4) * "It was during this time that the Upper City Cantina was most likely built, when Tarisian ale became a popular export, and where its famous duels and death matches began." – Speculation.
 * 5) **Expunged.
 * 6) * "Ordo, who had his own plans for breaking the Sith blockade, hoped to recruit the party into performing a raid on the nearby military base in order to secure the launch codes necessary to allow a ship to leave without being destroyed by the auto-targeting laser cannons of the orbiting Sith fleet." – Ponderously long.
 * 7) **Busted-up.
 * 8) * "Four thousand years later, however, the cantina, and in particular its dueling ring, had been rebuilt, as a Gungan duelist named Twitch was the champion during the Galactic Civil War." – Is the cantina itself mentioned in the source material? If not, we cannot speculate that the structure existed.
 * 9) **Eviscerated.
 * 10) * Not a big fan of "he/she." Can we say "he or she?"
 * 11) **Replaced.
 * 12) * "The reasons for this content being cut are unknown." – Unnecessary.
 * 13) **Scourged.
 * 14) * Graestan ( Talk ) 01:44, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) ** Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 02:36, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) More from Graestan the Mighty:
 * 17) * No eras tags?
 * 18) **Whoopsie. Added.
 * 19) * "Barstand" does not appear to be a word.
 * 20) **Fixed.
 * 21) * Image:UCCan layout.jpg should probably have the arena cropped out; it gives the wrong impression as to the location as is&mdash;the game probably located it arbitrarily, but on the Upper City map it would be placed outside the cantina, according to this map.
 * 22) **Cropped appropriately.
 * 23) * The header "Destruction and rebuilding" is no longer appropriate. It could be cut altogether, in my opinion, but this is optional.
 * 24) **Amended; now reads "Destruction".
 * 25) * Refs 3 and 6 can likely be combined with a longer explanation and the link.
 * 26) **Done.
 * 27) * Too many sections beginning with "The Upper City Cantina&hellip;" reads a bit amateurish.
 * 28) **Fixed where appropriate.-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 04:01, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) * Graestan ( Talk ) 03:25, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) Toprawa:
 * 31) * Please consider altering the bulleted presentation of the cantina's location in the infobox. I think it would be more appropriate to read, simply, without bullets, "Upper City, Taris", and just use a single reference on that
 * 32) * Please give a brief elaboration on what she did to warrant a quarantine of the cantina: "which was aimed at preventing the escape of Bastila Shan"
 * 33) * This speculation seems to be supported by the sentence in the BTS ("The cantina makes a possible cameo appearance in Star Wars: Empire at War: Forces of Corruption"), and as such is not solid enough for inclusion into the article. I would recommend moving this at the end of that BTS sentence to say something like, "which suggests it may have been rebuilt by the Galactic Civil War.": "...it was likely rebuilt by the time of the Galactic Civil War."
 * 34) * Please provide a little context to this, so as to avoid having it sound too much like present tense. I might recommend, "the champion as of [date]." "and the current champion, the Rodian Twitch"...What you have in the "Inhabitants" section is exactly what I'm looking for: "champion during the Jedi Civil War, a Rodian named Twitch"
 * 35) * This is kind of POV. Please choose another word. Meager? Destitute? "attempted to dredge out a pitiful existence"
 * 36) * Since you're starting out a new section with this sentence, please specify what this is: "The establishment itself, however, was largely unaffected by this"
 * 37) * You use "however" here in near subsequent clauses. Please reword one: First: "however, his former friend and master, whom the Sith Lord had attempted to kill one year previously," - Second: "However, Bastila and the amnesiac Revan,"
 * 38) * "Unfortunately" is POV. Please reword. This could be remedied simply by saying "unfortunate for [whomever]": "unfortunately, the group became separated,"
 * 39) * Please provide a brief description of what this is. Criminal group, or whatever: "the Black Vulkars"
 * 40) * This description of Shan, I must presume, seems a bit off-kilter, since you only previously refer to her as a Jedi, not a mere Padawan. Please clarify someplace in the article: "As a last-ditch attempt to prevent the Padawan"
 * 41) * I made a small edit here to clear up some clausal confusion. Please confirm what I have written is correct, or otherwise reword to your liking: "Gana Lavin, a young noblewoman accompanied by her friend,"
 * 42) * There are four sentences in the BTS that are structured identically, like so: "Something-something, however, something, something..." Please reword at least one of the however's. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:26, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * And the WP:KOTOR march continues...-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 22:06, 18 March 2008 (UTC)
 * My WookieeProject is bigger than yours. Graestan ( Talk ) 01:44, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Hush, you!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 02:36, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Goodwood  [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 17:01, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:10, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) Whole lotta nothing-to-fix. --  Darth Culator  (Talk) 17:37, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I'd source the BTS were I you but if it's unnecessary...meh. Good article!-- Goodwood [[Image:Redstarbird.svg|20px]] ( Alliance Intelligence ) 17:01, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Thanks. The BtS, though, is self sourcing :) Greyman ( Talk ) 17:09, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Not terribly important down there at the end of the BTS, but Noseworthy might be noseworthy of an article. Just for killing red link purposes. :) Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:10, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Noseworthy now has his own article on Wookieepedia :) Greyman ( Talk ) 05:46, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2)  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  15:28, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Another speedily-handled list of objections. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:46, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) I don't get this sentence: "Unaware that the shrapnel had been imbued with Sith magic, Sunrider was able to use the Force to bind her fellow Jedi's wounds." What happened to Qel-Droma? Perhaps put something about it in "Aftermath".  Chack Jadson  (Talk)  22:58, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *Reworded that particular sentence to give a wee bit 'o context. Greyman ( Talk ) 12:56, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Toprawa:
 * 4) * Please either add a little bit to this sentence, or tack it to the end of the first paragraph to avoid one sentence paragraphs. "The First Battle of Empress Teta was often seen as one of several events that precipitated the Krath Holy Crusade, which was a part of the larger war against the rise of the Sith."
 * 5) **Merged, as suggested :) Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 20:25, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Same as above. Please add/move to avoid one sentence paragraph: "Under the Jedi's leadership, a joint Republic-Jedi task force was assembled and dispatched in an attempt to halt the Krath advance"
 * 7) **Ditto. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:38, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Is there a specific fleet that "fleet" can be pipelinked to? Some Republic fleet, maybe? "With Ulic Qel-Droma and Fleet Captain Vanicus directing the joint Republic-Jedi fleet,"
 * 9) **No specific fleet is named in the comics/sources. Just that a Republic and Jedi fleet was dispatched to deal with the threat. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:38, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Additionally, I think it would benefit the article to include a description of ships that comprised the fleet, as supplemented by the infobox.
 * 11) **Resolved via IRC. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:38, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) * Please expound a little bit on what was decided at the Deneba conclave in "Aftermath" section. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:26, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) **Done. Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 23:38, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

(2 Inq/1 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Short and sweet. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:40, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:42, 20 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) My only concern was resolved via IRC. Your next task: FA Toryn Farr ;)  Greyman ( Talk ) 05:18, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) See? Hoth.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:28, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * No image available. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:42, 20 March 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) Major issues listed here have been addressed. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *You've done a nice job, Yrfeloran, making some major additions to this article. Unfortunately, it's still quite a ways away from being up to FA standards. Without even reading through, I pick up on the following problems:
 * 3) * The infobox must be completely sourced, as does the succession box at the bottom of the page.
 * 4) **Done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ***Complete sourcing includes sourcing the "Era(s)" field. I've done this for you, but please source this next time. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:44, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Any quotes within the article must go at the beginning of sections, after the subhead, not in the middle of paragraphs.
 * 7) **Most of those were residual old paragraphs - done. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *The entire article is little more than 1-2 sentence paragraphs summarizing events. While I'm certainly not a huge prequel trilogy fan, having never read the majority of these sources, this tells me that you've done just that, quickly generalizing important topics while skipping out on juicy details. Featured Articles must be comprehensive, not only including material from all relevant sources, but also detailing that information to a great degree. An article like Dooku, for as much information is out there on him, should have dozens of paragraphs several sentences in length. It's just too thin right now. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:50, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) ** There was a formatting issue with some prior authors' styles, which I've now fixed. It now "looks better". As for actual content, there have been significant expansions and section mergings. Dooku's article over the period of the movies was probably more in-depth than recently re-FAd Grievous, for instance, even before I revamped it. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) LtNOWIS
 * 11) * Image:Quarren league.jpg, Image:DookuVSGrievous.jpg, and Image:DookuBTS.jpg need more specific sources. The Clone Wars shots need to specify which episodes, and the databank shot needs a link to the page it's from. -LtNOWIS 10:19, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) **Muuuuuurgh helped with this. Thanks, Muuuuuurgh! Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 13) From the Bridge of Chack Jadson:
 * 14) * Needs a longer and more comprehensive intro.
 * 15) ** Intro has been expanded somewhat. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) * I won't get specific, but it's way too light on detail. Most of the article is just short paragraph, then a new section.
 * 17) *This can be brought to FA, but it will take a lot of time and commitment. If you can do it, I commend you.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 11:30, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) More stuff from me:
 * 19) *Both Sith Apprentice and Leaving the Order have paragrpahs that are no more than one or two sentences. Combine sentences in those sections or expand them.
 * 20) **Combination and expansion done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 21) *Combine the sections Jedi confrontation and successful escape.
 * 22) **Done Yrfeloran 06:34, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 23) *You link way too much. Link onc ein the intro and then once in the body.
 * 24) **This was kind of inevitable, since the original article was overlinked and additions were made piecemeal. I think I've pruned about all of them Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 25) *De-link the quote in Endgame.
 * 26) **Done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 27) *Remove the sentence about Quinlan Vos in the Legacy section.
 * 28) **done Yrfeloran 02:44, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 29) *I am very impressed with what you've done so far. Keep up the good work.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 13:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 30) From the legal pad scrawling of Atarumaster88
 * 31) *Lot of short paragraphs need fleshed out or combined with others.
 * 32) **I've done a fair bit of this. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 33) *I'd say remove some of the shorter sections by combining them with others also.
 * 34) ** And a lot of section combining Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 35) *Compare your appearances/sources list to the reference list. A quick check reveals no information from the following:
 * 36) **Star Wars: Battlefront
 * 37) **Some of those HoloNet news.
 * 38) **Boba Fett: Crossfire
 * 39) **Republic 49.
 * 40) **Legacy of the Jedi
 * 41) **And I'm sure there are more.
 * 42) ***Most of those were actually there - Legacy was ref'd 8 times, Crossfire and 49 were there but cited as Fight to Survive and 50. I did some expansion on the HNN stuff and added Battlefront. Yrfeloran 03:00, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 43) *Needs a non-canon appearance section. (Ugh)
 * 44) **I'm probably going to need help with this one. I've got the bare bones of one up. Yrfeloran 04:18, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 45) *Properly reference all Clone Wars cartoon series references by chapter
 * 46) **Done for all IU refs Yrfeloran 03:35, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 47) *It's a lot better than it was, but still will need work, as others have already said. Feel free to drop by WP:NEGTC for additional help, though, or my talk page. Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 23:27, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Former featured article. Yrfeloran 06:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I am happy to see someone tackle this and I would encourage you, Yrfeloran, to hack away at it. For what it's worth, I recall (several months ago) noticing that numerous chunks of fanon and fan speculation had made their way into this article, so as the revision process continues, I'd recommend proceeding suspiciously, never assuming that a source tag is legit unless yourself added or checked it. (I haven't even really looked at it yet, though, so for all I know somebody already cleansed it.)  Gonk  ( Gonk! ) 12:39, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I did a good deal of the sourcing myself, and have spot-checked most of the rest. There was a serious fanon/NPOV purge that I did, and the non-biographical sections are now shorter. Yrfeloran 22:47, 23 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 16:04, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 16:04, 21 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Minor request: You might create an article for the Coruscant Defense Fleet. Other than, clean. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:25, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Hm, I read this last night, but just noticed now I didn't vote... Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:15, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * The only thing I've got is that I would like to see a little more in the P&T discussing his telepathy, how he would primarily converse with his wife that way, etc. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:40, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **Added additional sentence or two. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:06, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * Also, make sure you link Skirmish at Carkoon somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:56, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) **Already linked in main body; I added a link in the intro too. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:06, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *After reading through his entry in SWE, I would also like to see a little bit added to the BTS explaining his physical appearance, including why he was called "Yak Face." The entry does a nice job of describing, if you would like me to provide you with it. Let me know in IRC. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:51, 27 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Also, I suspect he appears in the Star Wars Trilogy Sourcebook - Special Edition, as well as the ROTJ radio drama and script. Please check with Gonk for the first Muuurgh for the last two. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:56, 27 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I started writing this with GA in mind, though it came in slightly over 1,000 words in the end :). -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:25, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/2 Users/3 Total)
Support
 * 1) Nominated.  Greyman ( Talk ) 04:16, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Also nicely done. --Squishy Vic (discussion) (contributions) 00:34, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) Well done. Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:16, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments
 * Continuation of WP:TOTJ. Greyman ( Talk ) 04:16, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
 * 1) Most folk'll never lose a toe, but then again some folk'll, like Keyan the slack-jawed yokel. Green Tentacle (Talk) 16:13, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Most folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll&hellip;  Graestan ( Talk ) 18:08, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) I've always like reviewing planet articles.  Greyman  http://images.wikia.com/central/images/9/9c/Jan.png ( Talk ) 21:14, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) This article about stuff from the X-wing games is really educational, since I've never played them.  Chack Jadson  (Talk) 22:39, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) Very well-written. Excellent. Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:25, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Image objections:
 * Image:Binka.jpg&mdash;Blurry.
 * 1) **De-blurrified. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:09, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Image:Agamar.jpg&mdash;Distorted.
 * Image:Agamar2.jpg&mdash;Distorted.
 * --Imperialles 22:12, 24 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) * Please reword "governed by Governor," which is a bit redundant. I might recommend "led by Governor": "was governed by Governor Challep"
 * 3) **Fixed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:06, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) * This clause is a tad confusing. It seems to imply that all mercenaries in general spent time in Agamar's service, but I think you mean to refer to just those in Agamar's service. If so, please clarify: "and most mercenaries at the time spent a few months in Agamar's service"
 * 5) **That's what the source says. Guess they got through a lot of mercenaries for some reason. :P Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:06, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) * Assuming this information exists, please add a little bit here to explain who Shogar Tok is and why reinforcing him/her was significant: "Separatist armies were still fighting in the Mirgoshir system and unable to reinforce Shogar Tok on Brentaal IV"
 * 7) **Fixed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:06, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) * Please fix incomplete sentence: "Where pillars and archways divided the corridor into segments, holographic art depicting Agamarian history and culture."
 * 9) **Fixed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:06, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) * Minor: unless this is organized in this way for a reason I am unaware, the infobox "Points of interest" should probably be listed in alphabetical order. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:51, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 11) **Fixed. Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:06, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * How do I follow a line like GT's in my vote? Graestan ( Talk ) 16:30, 24 March 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support Object
 * 1) Nominated. I started out expecting this to be a GA due to limited content available, but I found I was able to put together a pretty decent entry that exceeded 1,000 words, so here it is in FA. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 1) Toprawa:
 * 2) *Please elaborate on why he fled the battle. Did his forces lose? Was he scared off by Skywalker? "Weir fled the battle and ordered his men to pull back to their transport ships"
 * 3) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *This is a tad confusing. You say he was being pursued by Numb, but then Numb is hiding out in a canyon? Please clarify: "He quickly detected that the Sullustan Ten Numb had pursued him on a speeder bike and, as his men were preparing to leave, Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding"
 * 5) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *Please clarify whose blaster he used here. Seems like he used Numb's: "Weir personally climbed the canyon mountain to where Numb was hiding and captured him by knocking him unconscious with his blaster rifle"
 * 7) **It was Weir's gun. Added the reference. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *This sentence doesn't make sense to me. The led the Rebel fighters by attacking a convoy? Please clarify/elaborate on what's going on: "which escaped a pursuit from Rogue Squadron by leading the Rebel X-wing and A-wing starfighters by attacking a civilian convoy with suicide drone TIEs."
 * 9) **Yeah, something went a little wrong there. I think some of my proofreading changes might not have made it in due to some of the bug problems I was having the day I nominated it. I cleaned it up and tried to clarify. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *Please reword to avoid ending subsequent clauses with the same word: "including sizes and secret locations of military forces, which could be used in strikes against the Rebel forces"
 * 11) **Got it. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * So, Weir took Numb back to Tralus to be interrogated? Please specify This sentence makes me question this: "Upon learning that Luke Skywalker and the Rogues found the secret base due"
 * 1) **I put a reference to it right before the torture stuff. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I'm kind of skeptical as to describing R2-D2 as famous here. Can you confirm that the source does indeed say this, or even source this to something else? "and the famed astromech droid R2-D2,"
 * 3) **I just dropped the famed reference altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) *In the paragraph beginning, "As Wedge Antilles and Tycho Celchu pursued the general in stolen TIE Fighters...," you use the word "surface" three times in two sentences, including twice in a single sentence. Please reword, ideally, two of these.
 * 5) **So, you want me to use the word surface more. You got it! (Kidding, by the way ;) ). --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *Just confirming. There's nothing else explaining what happened after he was captured and brought to interrogation?
 * 7) **Unfortunately, no. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) *Please reword to avoid using the base word "regard" twice here: "Regardless of species, Weir showed little regard"
 * 9) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 10) *I'm confused as to how telling Numb that his torture was the product of a chance encounter is considered psychological torture: "Weir enjoyed applying psychological attacks against his subjects, such as his statements to Ten Numb that his capture and torture was the result of a purely chance encounter."
 * 11) **He said something to the affect that the mission was only meant to punish Coronet City and that they didn't even know Luke and the pilots would be there, so it was only based on pure chance that they even found Numb, and yet now he was being tortured because of it. I found it a bit difficult to condense though, and really I think there were other better psychological torments to use as an example, so I changed the sentence altogether. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Through the third and fourth paragraphs of the P&T section, you begin off a number of sentences with "Weir was..." Please reword some of these.
 * 13) **Done. --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *I would like to see a little cleaner BTS. It's not bad, all the information is just about there, but please rewrite to more effectively say who created him and what comics he appears in. Also make sure to identify the year the comics were published. If possible, you might add why he was created. What purpose did his character serve? Antagonist? Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:25, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 15) **What do you think of it now? --Colinmcev 14:24, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * I am aware that the Discussion and Quotes page links are redlinks right now, and that the summary info for the two pictures I scanned are missing. When I put this entry together, for some odd reason, Wookieepedia wouldn't let me create any new pages, so I couldn't add any of these things. I have the stuff saved in a TXT file, so I'll try again in a day or so and hopefully it will be resolved. --Colinmcev 05:42, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Also, for some remarkably frustrating reason, I found that every time I tried to edit a single section, as opposed to the entire article, it removed my entry entry, reverted to the old one, and showed no sign of my previous edits in my contributions or in the history. I have copy and pasted my entry into a TXT file and saved it in case this happens again. I imagine this is just some temporary bug that is probably fixed by the time you are reading this, but just in case, maybe if you edit something you can edit the whole article, not just a section? --Colinmcev 05:54, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) --Vaklu 18:55, 25 March 2008 (UTC)

Object
 * 1) Unsourced paragraphs in the BtS. Lots of small paragraphs could be combined. Quotes in prose. Ref in intro. Fact tags in main body. Infobox unsourced. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 19:11, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) *I don't see the unsourced BtS paragraphs. Just because paragraphs could be combined, doesn't mean they should. I also don't see any quotes in the prose. I don't see any problem with fact tags, and I can't really do anything with those anyway. Taking care of the other problems.--Vaklu 20:10, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 3) **I see four. They should because paragraphs should be more than one, two, or three sentences long; it just looks bad. There's a quote midsection in the History section. The problem with the fact tags is that they are there. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:13, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 4) ***Well you can claim to see them but they have fact tags. Paragraphs don't have to be more than three sentences, but each paragraph has to do with different ideas, which is the defining factor in paragraph construction. I don't know how to deal with the fact tags if I don't have the sources. Also, how can we source the BtS? Wikipedia can't be used as a source and that's where most of the information comes from.--Vaklu 20:20, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 5) ****Fact tags means they are unsourced. Have a look at some other FAs and compare paragraph size. You'll have to find a way, unfortunately. You can either source the BtS or remove it; I'm easy, since it's mostly bullshit anyway. It should be replaced with a more relevant, sourcable BtS. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:25, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 6) *****Fine, I'll combine relavent paragraphs. I guess most of the BtS is BS (pun intended) anyway so I'll see what I can do.--Vaklu 20:31, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 7) *How did I do?--Vaklu 20:40, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 8) You might like to have look at the Planet layout guide to change some of the formatting. --Eyrezer 02:35, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 9) Preliminaries from Graestan the Mighty:
 * 10) *Intro is sorely lacking in summarized content.
 * 11) **Done.--Vaklu 22:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 12) *Infobox could use either formatting cleanup or removal of items such as "formerly" in favor of, oh, perhaps "(–3,956 BBY)," reflecting the time at which Taris was devastated.
 * 13) **Done.--Vaklu 22:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 14) *Article could use an in-depth copy-edit, fixing spelling errors, formatting issues, POV statements, grammar and structure mishaps, et cetera.
 * 15) **Could you specify which sections have POV?--Vaklu 22:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 16) *Images unevenly sized and placed.
 * 17) *Fixed.--Vaklu 22:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 18) *Expansion in a number of areas is desired. I suggest going through the comics, in particular, issue-by-issue, all the while adding any pertinent information to the appropriate sections and sourcing by issue. Also, a number of sources seem to lack referenced material, and I think that this might be where the missing content may be found. There's a lot more to Taris than what's represented here. If a decent amount of work is put into the article after this, I would be willing to look more closely.
 * 19) **Could you specify which sections?--Vaklu 22:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 20) * Graestan ( Talk ) 05:48, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Comments
 * Vaklu, I find your aggression to be entirely inappropriate and uncalled for. When a user places objections to your nomination, it is because there is something legitimately lacking with the article. They aren't here to give you a hard time. Objections are meant to help shape the article into the greatest production it can be. The way you took to Acky's objections was ridiculous. He's not here to fight you, like you are fighting him. The reason his initial objection was as succinct as it was is because this article is a long way from being up to FA standards. It's got significant work left to be done. Everything must be sourced in an article. Fact tags are absolutely not allowed and must be remedied. The fact that you say you can't do anything about them is enough to tell me that this article is simply not ready to be nominated. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * I see nothing agressive in my comments, and I'm sure Ackbar didn't either. I was simply seeking clarification and was not fighting his objections. I suggest you think twice before jumping to ridiculous conclusions and launching self-rightious condescension my way.--Vaklu 22:32, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
 * Hey, it's not worth fighting over; better to just drop the issue please. (Admin) Atarumaster88  [[Image:Jedi_Order.svg|20px]] ( Talk page ) 02:47, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
 * 1) Pattern? What pattern? Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:46, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
 * 2) Spell-checked and ready. Good pattern. Enochf 21:53, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)
Support
 * 1) -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:44, 26 March 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

Comments
 * Will be updated when new material comes out, et cetra. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 16:44, 26 March 2008 (UTC)