Tag & Bink Are Dead was a two-issue comic series written by Kevin Rubio and drawn by Lucas Marangon, starring Tag Greenley and Bink Otauna. Tag and Bink are Rebel officers fighting against Emperor Palpatine and his army—until one fateful day, aboard a freighter carrying Princess Leia Organa and the stolen plans for the first Death Star, their lives change forever.
This series is considered Infinities.
The issue begins with a parody of the standard Star Wars opening crawl, detailing how Dark Horse is "struggling to meet the demand for new STAR WARS comics," brought on by a so called "ravenous" fan base. It further explains how the writer was unable to complete the book on time and the artists was under too much pressure to perform the "impossible visuals Kevin asked for." This is finally emphasized by a large part of the page white with a coffee stain and a hand with a pen, shown to be filling in the starry space background with a black felt pen.
From there the story picks up in the opening of Episode IV, with the Tantive IV under siege by the Devastator. It cuts to two rebels, Tag and Bink, who are shown to be somewhat cowardly and comedic in their attempts to survive the overwhelming onslaught of Imperial troops, as they not only flee the heavily outgunned rebels, but also seek refuge in the same area in which R2-D2 is being given the Death Star plans by Princess Leia. This inevitably leads to them being caught. They escape by taking advantage of the low visibility provided by the Imperials' helmets, knocking out their captors and taking their armor. This annoys Tag greatly, giving him one of his soon to be many "bad feelings about this." The Devastator is then docked in the Death Star.
From here Tag and Bink explore the Death Star, gasping at its vast size. Despite this, one of them notes, neither can find a bathroom. Eventually, after upsetting an Imperial officer (who claims it's his Death Star) Tag and Bink attempt to escape the Death Star in TIE fighters and head to Alderaan. While one is berating the other, belittling their chances of finding Alderaan in space, the planet appears in view (the same scene in which it is soon destroyed). From here, Tag and Bink attempt to escape, only to have Alderaan blow up in their faces and have Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon drop out of orbit behind them. This in turn causes the sequence in the film leading to Kenobi's famous "that's no moon" phrase.
Due to Solo's jamming Tag's comm link (as in the movie) Tag mistakenly returns to the Death Star and is hailed as a hero. However, Bink makes them leave the apparent party, claiming they're safer as anonymous marchers. Unfortunately, they are picked up by another patrol and are assigned guard duty on a shield generator (the same one which Kenobi deactivates). After this so-called "failure of duty," an Imperial officer (the same one who claims the Death Star is his) confines them to their quarters as punishment. Angered, Bink declares they will escape again, only to be picked up by Vader as the two pilots he claims for wingmen. The end scene of Episode IV then plays, with Vader being shot and the Death Star being destroyed. The final panel depicts the bodies of Tag and Bink floating in space declaring "NEXT: Tag and Bink LIVE" (a parody of Tag and Bink Are Dead).
|Organizations and titles||Sentient species||Vehicles and vessels||Weapons and technology||Miscellanea|
Organizations and titles
Vehicles and vessels
Weapons and technology
Notes and references
Tag and Bink: Were Here, issue 1; Tag and Bink are Dead part 1
Behind the scenes
- The title was inspired by Tom Stoppard's existential play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, in which two deceased characters from Hamlet try to decide whether or not they are dead.