In a galaxy far, far away....
In a galaxy far, far away....
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User:Darth Culator

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Dude, you gotta try this spice. I got it from Lando. Lando always has the best spice. Did you ever notice how your fingers work together, like a team? That's us. You and me, Luke, we're like the fingers of the Jedi Order. Did that statue just move? Man, this Massassi junk creeps me right the kriff out. My head feels so... (THUD).

"I'll ask you to send me your teeth ground in impotent rage."
―Dmitry Rogozin, my brother in spirit[src]
"You want me, I'm here. But you better bring your stuff, 'cause I'm ready for you."
―Sa'ad El-Amin[src]
"Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you."
―Nikita Khrushchev, inadvertently predicting Wookieepedia, and more specifically me[src]

Proudly misusing "hyperinclusionist fanwankery" as a battle cry since November 2006!

This is Darth Culator's user page.

Song of the day

With profuse apologies to Sting

There's a little blank spot on the Wook today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a file missing its license box
It's a stupid noob and he just won't stop

Well the admin stats all say that I am so 'leet
But it's the same stupid thing and it's stuck on repeat
Maybe another admin will someday walk my beat
Til then it's my destiny to be the King of Delete

There's a little blank spot on the Wook today
(The instructions are right there...)
It's the same old thing as yesterday
(The instructions are right there...)
There's a file missing its license box
(The instructions are right there...)
It's a stupid noob and he just won't stop
(The instructions are right there...)

Well the admin stats all say that I am so 'leet
But it's the same stupid thing and it's stuck on repeat
Maybe another admin will someday walk my beat
Til then it's my destiny to be the King of Delete

There's a comic frame with its words blanked out
There's a character article with its source in doubt
There's a talk page with only comments that are rude
There's a template that has long since gone unused

Well the admin stats all say that I am so 'leet
But it's the same stupid thing and it's stuck on repeat
Maybe another admin will someday walk my beat
Til then it's my destiny to be the King of Delete

There's a userpage whose owner moved on
There's a user image whose uploader wants it gone
There's a great big pile of useless redirects
And some stupid fan-art needs to be blown to heck

King of Delete
King of Delete
I'll always be King of Delete
I'll always be King of Delete

Random insane theory

Some more thoughts on image quality

The following tools are essential:

  • PNGOutWin: For optimizing PNG files for size and compatibility. Be sure to select both compatibility options in the preferences. Some PNG implementations are more retarded than others, and PNGOutWin compensates for just about all of them.
  • Corel Paint Shop Pro X3: For damn near every editing task, because using Photoshop is often like using an ICBM to swat a mosquito.
  • Adobe Photoshop: Because many plugins hate PSP.
    • Perfect Resize, formerly Genuine Fractals: To blow up images to 250 pixels. NO MORE. To be used in EXTREMELY LIMITED CIRCUMSTANCES and only with administrative and/or Inquisitorius consensus. Inflating images is BAD.
  • JPEGCrop: For cropping and optimizing individual JPEGs.
  • BetterJPEG: For removing logos and doing angular crops without recompressing a JPEG.
  • JPEGTran: For optimizing downloaded JPEGs in batches (MS-DOS/Windows NT batch language knowledge required).
  • IrfanView: For viewing, cropping of uncompressed formats, and batch conversions.

Random thoughts

  1. Every time I play Star Wars Galaxies or either KOTOR game, this song always pops into my head.
  2. PIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!

These pages probably violate some rule or other, but they're too awesome to delete

Boy, there are a lot of these now. This should be a pretty complete list.

Someone remind me why anyone considers Wikipedia remotely reliable.

Bot stuff

I now have a working bot.

It will mostly be used to replace obsolete images and other chores related to deleting stuff, since that's my favorite thing to do. I may occasionally do stuff on Wookieepedia:Bot requests, but don't count on it.

Fanfic idea of the day

"In 16GR a clone commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security skyhook to the Coruscant underground. Today, still wanted by the Empire, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Aurek-Team."

Random rant inspired by 4dot

This is a canonical woolamander.

This is a Star Wars Galaxies woolamander:

Not bad, right?


Now, this is a canonical Selonian:

And THIS is a Galaxies Selonian:

What. The. Fuck.

Quick links

In a perfect world

In a perfect world, George Lucas would release the following press release:

Source:  Press release from George Lucas (in a perfect world)

To whom it may concern.
Especially Karen Traviss.
And anyone who wants to play in MY universe.
And anyone who wants to keep feeding on the Lucasfilm money machine.

Here are some G-CANON overrides to previously established "facts."

  1. The Executor was 19,000 meters long. I actually meant for it to be 17,600, but 19,000 is A-OK with me. As long as it's not 8,000.
    1. When I find the moron who is most specifically responsible for that, I will ruin him.
    2. This includes any ship ever said to be "Super-class."
    3. What the fuck is "Super-class" supposed to mean, anyway? Classes are named after the first ship of the class, and MY UNIVERSE doesn't have ships with fucking retarded names.
  2. The first Death Star was 160 kilometers across. The second was 900. Anyone who says OR IMPLIES otherwise from this point on is fired.
  3. Three million clones? Are you people HIGH? There were three quadrillion. Not all clones of Jango Fett. Not all from Kamino.
  4. And you know how many of those three quadrillion gave a shit about Mandalorian culture? About a hundred. That's 0.000000000003 percent. Know why?
  5. Because the Mandalorians suck. They're barbarians who occasionally get a bug up their collective ass and have to go vandalize the galaxy until they get smacked down by Jedi. That's what Jedi do.

Please note that these are not "retcons." These are overrides. These are canonical facts to replace misinformation that should never have existed.

Sincerely,
George Lucas.
The guy who created your whole fucking universe.

Miscellaneous things

  • The only canonical way to play any of the Dark Forces games is to put on God Mode and only use your fists and/or your Briar pistol.

Quote of the random time period

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."
―The Doctor[src]

A song

With apologies to Monty Python.

Part 1

Brave Ad-mi-ral Daala rode forth from in the Maw.
She was not afraid to die, oh Adm'ral Daala.
She was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, Adm'ral Daala!

She was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have her eyes gouged out and her elbows broken.
To have her kneecaps split and her body burned away
And her limbs all hacked and mangled, Adm'ral Daala.

Her love vaporized
And her hideout found
And her minions kidnapped
And her Suncrusher stole
And her ships destr- ("That's--that's enough music for now, lads!")

Part 2

So Daala ran away. ("No!")
Bravely ran away, away. ("I didn't!")
When Rebels reared their ugly heads,
She bravely turned her tail and fled. ("No!")
Yes, Adm'ral Daala turned about ("I didn't!")
And gallantly she chickened out. ("I never did!")
Bravely making hyperspace
She fled the scene at rapid pace, ("All lies!")
Bravest of the brave, Adm'ral Daala! ("I never!")

She is packing it in,
And packing it up,
And sneaking away,
And buggering off,
And chickening out,
And pissing off home,
Yes, bravely she is throwing in the sponge.

Hmm....

My identity

Meaningless titles:

adm This user is a Wookieepedia administrator.
bur This user is a Wookieepedia bureaucrat.


Article promotions:

Premium-FeaturedIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Zsinj to Featured status.
Premium-GoodIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Energizer Bunny to Good status.
Premium-GoodIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Destruction of Despayre to Good status.
Premium-FeaturedIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Destruction of Despayre to Featured status.
Premium-GoodIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Didina Lippinoss to Good status.
Premium-FeaturedIcon.svg This user helped restore the article Missile Boat to Featured status.
Premium-GoodIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Fulstar plate to Good status.
Premium-FeaturedIcon.svg This user helped promote the article Vote Snaplaunce to Featured status.


Other stuff:

10k This user has over 10000 edits on Wookieepedia.
# This user only counts edits to the main namespace.
15k This user has over 15000 edits on Wookieepedia.
# However, this user has 17,000+ edits to the File: namespace.
40k This user has over 40000 edits on Wookieepedia.
# And this user has deleted over 47,000 things, which should totally count for something.
9+ yr. This user has contributed to Wookieepedia for more than nine years.
Addicted-template.svg This user is addicted to Wookieepedia, dammit!
33 This user is 33 years old.
This userbox is backward. This is a picture of Ric Olié. It's on the right side of this box.
Blogz.jpg This user had a blog on StarWars.com.
Bookslogo.svg This user collects Star Wars books, novels, and reference works.
Dark Horse Comics.svg This user collects Star Wars Graphic Novels and Comic Books.
dark This user supports the dark side of the Force.
en-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of English.
Just say no.png This user does not support excessive "This user supports…" userboxes.
Fleetjunkies.svg This user is a Fleet Junkie and has considerable interest in ships, fleets, and starfighters.
fox-4 This user contributes using unofficial or developmental Mozilla Firefox builds.
#IRC This user is often present on #wookieepedia IRC chat, and goes by the name Darth_Culator.
M This user is male.
X This user believes astrology is nonsense and refuses to use Zodiac sign templates.
UB-senguard.jpg This user is a recent changes patroller.
Computer.png This user's monitor resolution is 1920x1200.
Ord Mantell SWCCG.png This user has an interest in the natural sciences (biology, chemistry, physics, astronomy, and geology) of the galaxy.
Kyle with guns.jpg This user is a Strong Katarnist.
sw-3 This user has an advanced understanding of the Star Wars galaxy.
P2 OSWFF2.jpg This user is a tech enthusiast, with a keen interest in all the inner workings of the Star Wars galaxy.
Clock2uk.png This user's time zone is UTC-5.
LucasArtsold.svg This user is a Star Wars gamer.
Mtsorrow.JPG This user listened to the Wookiee-Cast.
WindowsLogo.png This user runs Microsoft Windows.
60px-Wiki-shrinkable.png This user was Wookieepedian of the Month for July 2007.
WP This user is a current or former Wikipedian and is familiar with wiki formatting.
+++ This user is a hyperinclusionist.
– This user is a deletionist.
DC This user doesn't care that the above two boxes contradict each other.
il Isthay ooseryay isay aay onnay-ativenay eakerspay ofay Igpay Atinlay.
en-P This user is able to contribute with a professional level of English.
mbk This user uses the Monobook skin.

So who is this Darth Culator? Depends on which Darth Culator you mean. The fictional Darth Culator is the head of the Order of Sith Accountants. This is slightly ironic because the real Darth Culator doesn't like math.

The real Darth Culator is a 33 year old guy with a great job, a car that terrifies the masses, a slightly irritating but still irreplaceable family, some fairly crazy friends, and a hobby that consumes an unhealthy amount of his free time. He's slightly eccentric and likes to use the third person a lot. He doesn't wish to offend the mighty one or his Bryar pistol, but presumes to claim he has a Katarn-like beard.

The admins on this wiki tend to get impersonated a lot by people who have no lives. So just for reference, here's where you'll see a Darth Culator that's actually the real one. I am, as far as I know, the first person to come up with the name Darth Culator, so check with me if you see one anywhere other than someplace on this list.

Wikis I'm on (as Darth Culator):

  • This one (and other Wikia-hosted wikis (don't call them "Wikias," that sickens me)
  • Wikipedia (rarely)
  • Jedipedia (the real one, not the fake Wikia copy)

Forums I'm on (as Darth Culator):

  • TheForce.net
  • StarWars.com
  • StarDestroyer.net
  • The Rancor Pit (posted maybe three times in a year)
  • Reddit (so far solely as Wookieepedia tech support)

Chats I'm on (as Darth Culator):

MMORPGs I'm on:

Wikis I'm not on (as Darth Culator):

  • Any other wiki anywhere.

Forums I'm not on (as Darth Culator):

  • Any other forum anywhere.

Chats I'm not on (as Darth Culator):

  • Any other chat anywhere.

Games I'm not on (as Darth Culator):

  • Any other game anywhere.

Game sites I'm on:

Social media I'm on:

If you see a wild Culator anywhere else, there's a very good chance it's an impersonator. We have very dedicated and experienced trolls. I will not be held responsible if you are fooled by them.

Miscellaneous stuff which is hopefully allowed

  • Did you know it only costs $4.95 USD (plus shipping) to become a Jedi Knight? [1] I wonder what that works out to in Republic credits. (Hmm. It went up to $7.99 sometime recently. Guess overhead at the Jedi Temple is going up.) (Hey, it's $10.99 now! The Credit must be getting hit by inflation! We have to get back on the Aurodium standard! Vote Luap Nor for Chancellor!)

On graphics

  • For the love of Waru, people, when you capture a DVD frame at 720x480, you should resize it to 720x405, not 853x480. Blowing things up doesn't improve their quality. Also, when you capture a frame from a 1080i file (not that I know anything about such files or where to find them, wink wink), use a tool that can deinterlace the frames or else scale it down it to a reasonable size. If you download an HD Star Wars video that's labeled as "1080p" then it's most likely a 1080i broadcast that has been IVTC'd, so you don't need to worry about the interlacing. (1080p Star Wars movies aren't yet available in the wild, at least not as far as I'm aware. What you'll normally find is a 1080i capture from HBO or Cinemax in the US or Sky in the UK.)
  • Ignore all that. No more 1080i screenshots. Blu-ray or death. Ask me how or just ask me to do it for you.
  • When taking screenshots from 3-D games, turn the detail settings all the way up. I cannot stress this enough. I sometimes think we need to enforce minimum system requirements for being allowed to post screens.
  • When you scan something from a print source, don't be afraid to apply a little gaussian blur to make it look less grainy. Being able to see the individual dots isn't really necessary or useful.
  • Those old DOS games had a resolution of 320x200 or 640x400, but they were meant to be viewed on monitors with a 4:3 aspect ratio just like we have now. When you capture from one of those games with an emulator like DOSBox or VMWare or Virtual PC, resize the screencap back to 4:3. In keeping with my "extra pixels≠extra quality" philosophy, this would mean resizing 640x400 down to 533x400, not up to 640x480.
  • Adobe Photoshop and Corel Paint Shop Pro have this neat tool called "levels." Learn it. Use it. Love it. Too bright and too dark scans and captures can be rescued with relative ease by proper use of this one tool.
  • I don't believe we should have galleries. They're even further outside the bounds of fair use than we already go in normal operations. When I delete a duplicate image, I'll fix articles to point to the image we're keeping, but I won't fix galleries. Deal with it.

On grammar

  • Grammar abstraction an old people by created was restrict ideas to the flow of.

On life in general

  • What's the GFFA equivalent of a housecat? A pittin? Then what's the GFFA equivalent of a 20-pound housecat who can't fit through doors made for his species?

User images

Currently numbering 3, totalling 492 kilobytes:

Life cycle of Yoda's species: Mogwai → Gremlin → Yoda. (Yes, it's out of order. No, I don't care.)


In honor of the project that I've given up on two times and still counting.

This is another picture of Ric Olié. It's also in one of Culator's userboxes.


Awards

Because people cared enough to give me these, it's only polite to flaunt them.

1

I present this Wookification Award to Darth Culator for his outstanding contributions with wookification

For your efforts at turning a stub of a fat man into an article that is practically Featured material, I present you with this wookification award. The Force is strong with you. -- SFH 21:36, 5 February 2006 (UTC)

2

adm This user is a Wookieepedia administrator.

3

Wookieecookie.png
KEJ has awarded you a Wookiee Cookie!
For adding the insanely funny Nostril of Palpatine image!
  • I second the cookiee. JorrelWiki-shrinkable.pngFraajic 06:49, 15 February 2007 (UTC)

4

  • The brass at the Completely Unofficial Wookieepedia Admin Single-member Awards Committee has recognized your contributions. Hereby, you have been awarded the following awards for your service above and beyond the call of duty to the community.
The Wookiee Leader Award
The Pit Droid Award of Diligence
  • Sir, a grateful wiki salutes you.
Authorized by Atarumaster88 Jedi Order.svg (Audience Chamber) on this day and time 21:17, 25 March 2007 (UTC).
RRRAAAWWWWR!
This person is a Wookiee Leader!
WookieeLeader.jpg
This user has been named a Wookiee Leader
for their effective organization of a the
image deletion and Super Happy whatever userpage project within Wookieepedia.

5

60px-Wiki-shrinkable.png This user was Wookieepedian of the Month for July 2007.

6

Wookieecookie.png
Eyrezer has awarded you a Wookiee Cookie!
for taking up the ChallengeLogo.png of creating clean citation templates!

7

I, TK-999, hereby award Darth Culator The Pit Droid Award of Diligence.—TK-999 Era-imp.png(Rise of the Empire) 19:36, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

I, TK-999, in possession of a sound mind and soul, hereby award you, Darth Culator, the Pit Droid Award of Diligence for your gruesome efforts to rid the wiki of old versions of images. Since the work you do is large enough to clog the deletion log with "Deleted old revisionYY/MM/DD!File:xxx.jpg", your monotonous edits truly make you legible for this award.—TK-999 20px(Rise of the Empire) 19:36, May 19, 2011 (UTC)

8

bur This user is a Wookieepedia bureaucrat.

9

WasakaMint Cookie.png
Master Jonathan has awarded you a Mint Wookiee Cookie!
For your efforts in helping Wedge Antilles become the longest Featured Article on Wookieepedia, specifically cleaning up File:WedgeManLove-ROTJHD.jpg and then eight months later uploading the Blu-ray version of it. This really was a team effort. Thank you for your work, and have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! —MJ— Training Room Saturday, December 24, 2011, 05:16 UTC


Subpages

Revenge of the insane theories

Many of the inconsistencies in galactic history can be explained away by powerful but long-deceased superbeings. The Architects. The Celestials. The stuff of myths and legends.

I say those legends involved a lot more fur and trees and dancing than anyone thought.

Because the Great Ancient Race of legend was actually the Ewoks.

Think about it for a minute. Think about all the "magic" that happens on Endor. All a bunch of quantum smoke and nanotechnology mirrors.

The Endor Holocaust was averted by the automatic self-activation of the Shiny Happy Deflector Shield. It was part of the Super-Special Welcome-Strangers Planetary Defense Grid, which once defended the Space-Battles-Are-Megatons-Of-Fun Shipyards.

The Ewoks were masters of space and time. Beings with powers beyond imagining. Until they met an equally powerful race that was mean and nasty and hated dancing and trees. Perhaps the Killiks. Perhaps the Rakata. We may never know.

But a brutal war wiped out both the Mean Nasty Enemy and most of the Ewoks, and the last remaining members of the Ewok Empire retreated to Endor, where they eventually forgot their legacy of expansion and abandoned their technological ways.

Remnants of the Golden Age of Ewoks and the Big Not-Fun War that ended it are everywhere. The Maw. The Utegetu Nebula. The Kathol sector. A great big mess left by the teddybears of doom and their foes.

Only Simon remembers.

A hypothetical disambig

Tits McGee could refer to:

This is a disambiguation page—a navigational aid which lists other pages that might otherwise share the same title. If an article link referred you here, you might want to go back and fix it to point directly to the intended page.


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