- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Photon fizzle[]
- Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:15, 29 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I expect Immi to handle to canon version at some point :P
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 ECs/1 Users/4 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support[]
- Dangit, you got me there... Immi Thrax (talk) 22:41, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:11, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:38, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 16:57, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
Object[]
Immi Fizzle[]
Given that a Besalisk commented on another Besalisk making the best photon fizzle, I'd consider it potable by Besalisks and include that in the infobox.Immi Thrax (talk) 21:22, 1 September 2021 (UTC)- Doodnik isn't a Besalisk and I don't think Dex's has enough to say that Dex drank the drink/
- Wow, I don't even know where I got the idea that Doodnik was a Besalisk, whoops. Seems odd for Dex to think someone made the best if he never drank it himself. Striking, though I disagree. Immi Thrax (talk) 04:47, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
- Doodnik isn't a Besalisk and I don't think Dex's has enough to say that Dex drank the drink/
I know Dining at Dex's doesn't actually elaborate on the different ways of preparing it, so I won't ask for those unavailable details, but reading the first sentence makes me think "a variety of different ways—like what?" Maybe save that for noting that there's a variety, but Dex does it Doodnik's way?Immi Thrax (talk) 21:22, 1 September 2021 (UTC)- If I remove it from there, the opening sentence is "A photon fizzle was a type of beverage," which is a bit boring. I think having that detail makes the sentence better.
- Striking, but please consider revising so it doesn't beg the question "what are those varieties?" Immi Thrax (talk) 04:47, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
- If I remove it from there, the opening sentence is "A photon fizzle was a type of beverage," which is a bit boring. I think having that detail makes the sentence better.
The start of the second paragraph is confusing, sounding like the planet Coruscant was destroyed sometime during the first two years of the Galactic Empire. Please revise!Immi Thrax (talk) 21:22, 1 September 2021 (UTC)- Fixed.
The timeline is more clear now! However, the sentence is now convoluted. It could be split into separate sentences or revised to improve the flow.Immi Thrax (talk) 04:47, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed.
Try using a description or a name within this phrasing since there's pronoun confusion (Dex made his diner prepare photon fizzles the way Dex did?): "Therefore, he had his diner prepare their photon fizzles the way he did"Immi Thrax (talk) 21:22, 1 September 2021 (UTC)- Done. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:46, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
CC-8[]
You're at 166 words in the bodyBody info should be ordered chronologicallyCommander Code-8 Hello There! 01:19, 7 September 2021 (UTC)That spot with the double referencing seems like it can just be sourced to Dining at Dex'sCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:21, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- Nice catch. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:33, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat[]
Are there any quotes that can be included from Droids?UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:46, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- Yeah, was meaning to add that. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:33, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- It's actually fully capitalized? Now I'm confused as to why the article title wasn't at that namespace from the beginning. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:47, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, was meaning to add that. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:33, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 16:57, 22 September 2021 (UTC)