- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Unidentified Zeltron[]
- Nominated by: Liverpool92 (talk) 12:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
(1 ECs/1 Users/2 Total)
(Votes required: 1 EC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 EC vote required to pass.)
Support[]
- Congrats on your first nom, looking forward to see more from you! OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 08:07, 23 March 2021 (UTC)
- My man just wanted to drink his blue milk in peace. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:25, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
Object[]
OOM[]
- (Reviewing note: see here) Infobox image should be formatted with the "File:" prefix.
- (Reviewing note) Punctuation (with the exception of the dash) should go inside quotation marks per the Manual of Style.
Infobox-exclusive information; also could use a description of his appearance.Does the source state that Batuu was a planet and located in the Outer Rim? If not, another source should be used to cite that information.- Added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:13, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- You should be more careful with referencing. "A Zeltron male was among the residents of Black Spire Outpost on" cannot be sourced to Thrawn: Alliances OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:18, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Corrected.--Liverpool92 (talk) 17:28, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- You should be more careful with referencing. "A Zeltron male was among the residents of Black Spire Outpost on" cannot be sourced to Thrawn: Alliances OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:18, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:13, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
The article should mention what he was doing. From that image, it seems like you can say that he was holding a drink in a glass, and that he was lining up in a queue.- The article should mention that he's holding a drink in a glass then. The appearance of the drink should also be described. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 15:53, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 16:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- You can describe the drink's colour. You can also say how some of it was spilled as Io passed through, as well as what happened to it (and the Zeltron) when the stormtroopers shot him. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:12, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added I said blue but was debating between blue and transparent. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:28, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I'd go with blue as well. However, the article should also elaborate on what happened after the Zeltron got shot. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:41, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Elaborated. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:54, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I'd go with blue as well. However, the article should also elaborate on what happened after the Zeltron got shot. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:41, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 16:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- The article should mention that he's holding a drink in a glass then. The appearance of the drink should also be described. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 15:53, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
Can he be considered dead?- I've checked the comic, there's a frame showing him lying on the ground with a searing hole in his chest. That looks pretty dead to me. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 15:53, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- So put him down as dead? --Liverpool92 (talk) 16:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Yes. That can be reasonably assumed. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:12, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Dead. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:28, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Yes. That can be reasonably assumed. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:12, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- So put him down as dead? --Liverpool92 (talk) 16:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I've checked the comic, there's a frame showing him lying on the ground with a searing hole in his chest. That looks pretty dead to me. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 15:53, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
If a subject has only appeared in one source, then the Behind the scenes section should not use the word "first" to describe the subject's appearance.Category:Unidentified males can be added. Also, Category:Unidentified Zeltron can be created with the relevant subjects listed in Category:Zeltrons and added to the article.OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 15:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)- Added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 16:38, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- About the dead: I'm a little so-so on that one too because he gets shot in the chest but I don't know if that would be fatal for a Zeltron. Also it's difficult to say what he was doing because he was just kinda standing there next to one guy but not in line. --Liverpool92 (talk) 15:44, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- "First" removed and what he was doing added. --Liverpool92 (talk) 15:47, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
The death parameter in the infobox should list the location as well (example: Winshur Bratt) Also, the fact that the Zeltron died cannot be cited to that date note. The ref note for the comic should be added after Batuu, while the date note should be placed after 34 ABY. Additionally, the first instance of a ref should be formatted like this "<ref name="Ref-name">''[[Source]]''</ref> instead of like this "<ref name="Ref-name" />OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 17:42, 12 March 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:54, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I think you misread what I said there, so please see this, where I've fixed the referencing for you (ignore the change to reference names, it was just to make the code more readable) OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 18:31, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- It was originally formatted the way a ref should be as the first one but I forgot to change it after I added the death. --Liverpool92 (talk) 19:49, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I think you misread what I said there, so please see this, where I've fixed the referencing for you (ignore the change to reference names, it was just to make the code more readable) OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 18:31, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed. --Liverpool92 (talk) 17:54, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
The description of the Zeltron's appearance should either be moved up, maybe between Resistance and 34 ABY, or to the bottom of the article.- Fixed.--Liverpool92 (talk) 19:41, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
You can also detail the colour of his bag and the clothes he's wearing.- Fixed.--Liverpool92 (talk) 19:41, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
The article should describe what happened when he was shot; where he was shot at, how he died etc.OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:29, 21 March 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. --Liverpool92 (talk) 19:41, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Can still further detail that the Zeltron fell into several crates after being shot in the chest. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 20:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added.--Liverpool92 (talk) 20:52, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Can still further detail that the Zeltron fell into several crates after being shot in the chest. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 20:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed. --Liverpool92 (talk) 19:41, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
There should be a single ref note for the death date and location. You don't need to include the whole date ref since it's quite long. You can simply pipelink the template like this: "…which takes place in 34 ABY per the reasoning here."- Done.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- The death paramater should only have one ref note; take Simus for example. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Corrected.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:47, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- The death paramater should only have one ref note; take Simus for example. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
"Popular" and "many" — these words violate WP:NPOV and should be removed.- Done.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
"As he was getting a drink, he was nearly thrown off his feet and spilled his drink by the Clawdite criminal Remex Io ran by" This sentence has grammatical errors, and you should remove "As he was getting a drink" since that's speculative.OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:01, 22 March 2021 (UTC)- Done.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- "thrown off his feet and spilled his drink by the Clawdite" Grammatical error here. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Corrected.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:47, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- "thrown off his feet and spilled his drink by the Clawdite" Grammatical error here. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
- Done.--Liverpool92 (talk) 21:32, 22 March 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni[]
"In 34 ABY,[1] the Zeltron was at the Milk Stand on Merchant Row holding a blue drink in a glass when he was nearly thrown off his feet and spilled his drink by the Clawdite criminal Remex Io ran by." This is a bit of a run on, you can split it into two sentences.- Fixed. --Liverpool92 (talk) 19:49, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
Context is needed for Milk Stand and Merchant Row.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:30, 12 March 2021 (UTC)- Added.--Liverpool92 (talk) 19:49, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
- I don't see any changes--did you save your edits? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
- Corrected.--Liverpool92 (talk) 20:54, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- I don't see any changes--did you save your edits? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:12, 14 March 2021 (UTC)
- Added.--Liverpool92 (talk) 19:49, 12 March 2021 (UTC)
Article should be at Unidentified Zeltron per Wookieepedia:Naming policy#Disambiguation between continuities. If you're confused on how to fix that, please let me know.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:09, 15 March 2021 (UTC)- So the article should be moved to Unidentified Zeltron/Canon? --Liverpool92 (talk) 21:13, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- No. Unidentified Zeltron should be moved to something like Unidentified Zeltron (Clendor), and this article would be moved to Unidentified Zeltron over the redirect. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:33, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- Moved the Unidentified Zeltron to Unidentified Zeltron (Clendor) but the abuse filter prevented me from moving this article to Unidentified Zeltron. --Liverpool92 (talk) 23:52, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- Done.--Liverpool92 (talk) 16:20, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
- Moved the Unidentified Zeltron to Unidentified Zeltron (Clendor) but the abuse filter prevented me from moving this article to Unidentified Zeltron. --Liverpool92 (talk) 23:52, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- No. Unidentified Zeltron should be moved to something like Unidentified Zeltron (Clendor), and this article would be moved to Unidentified Zeltron over the redirect. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:33, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- So the article should be moved to Unidentified Zeltron/Canon? --Liverpool92 (talk) 21:13, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
The date note needs to mention the location of death seeing as the infobox currently sources Batuu to it.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:09, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
Imp[]
- 166 words by my count, let's see an introduction.
- The simplified use of the GE dating ref is problematic here since it does not explicitly mention this comic series, let alone the specific issue. Imperators II(Talk) 08:48, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
- How do specifically want me to handle this?--Liverpool92 14:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Well, you have to tie the comic series to what's in the date ref. Imperators II(Talk) 17:09, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Template:Galaxy's Edge Date mentions "any related media" seeing how the zeltron is in the tie in comic doesn't that "count?" (for lack of a better word)--Liverpool92 20:14, 11 April 2021 (UTC)
- Well, you have to tie the comic series to what's in the date ref. Imperators II(Talk) 17:09, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- How do specifically want me to handle this?--Liverpool92 14:02, 5 April 2021 (UTC)
- Also please add sections for traits and equipment, per our Layout Guide. Imperators II(Talk) 17:09, 5 April 2021 (UTC)