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This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.

The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.

In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.

Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.

READ THIS FIRST!

A Featured article must…

  1. …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
  3. …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
  4. …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  5. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  6. …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
  7. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  8. …have no redlinks.
  9. …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
  10. …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
  11. …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
  12. …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
  13. …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
  14. …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
  15. …be nominated by a user who has promoted at least one article to Good article status.

How to nominate:

  1. Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fifteen requirements stated above.
  2. Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
  3. Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
  7. The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
  8. Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
  9. Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
  10. Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.

How to review:

  1. To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
  3. Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
  4. Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
  5. If a nomination has been active for over one week and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes. Alternatively, if a nomination is between two and seven days old and has no active objections, it can pass with a total of seven Inquisitorius votes.
  6. Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination, tag the article with the {{Top|fa}} template, tag its talk page with the {{FA}} template, and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to immediate removal by Inquisitorius vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.

Note: Reduxed articles require only four support votes to maintain their Featured status, all of which must come from Inquisitors. Reduxed articles will be subject to immediate removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.


Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Revan

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 04:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: hehehehehehehehe. Hi there. Did ya miss me?
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR, WP:KOTOR

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. D MCCG D MCCG.png (chat) 03:06, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 10:03, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. It'd be great for Legends Revan to return to FA status. —Tomotron Revanchist Sith.svg (Star Forge) 06:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote.png The man, the myth, the legend... Supreme Emperor Holocomm 18:02, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
    -A Girl Has No Name 21:21, 15 December 2021 (UTC) (Vote struck per policy: General rules, item 3 -- DarthRuiz30 (talk) 22:01, 15 December 2021 (UTC))
  5. Editoronthewiki (talk) 05:21, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

Object

Tomotron
Vergence
Braha'tok/Legends
Up to Rise of the Sith
  • "According to Mical, Revan returned to his first teacher in order to learn how to best leave the Jedi Order, though he did not follow through." You're trying to keep a trend of saying Revan is not named Revan yet, but this seems to be an anomaly.
    • Fixed.
  • "Outraged at the Jedi Council's refusal to involve the Order in the conflict, the young Jedi Knight began to move among the Order," What do you mean by "move among the order"?
    • Reworded.
  • Second and forth paragraphs of The Revanchist are too bloated. As is the forth paragraph of Fighting the Mandalorians and the final paragraph of Dark Lord of the Sith. Bisecting them accordingly is advised.
  • "Alec and his followers" is used multiple times, but that format makes it sound like they could be Alec's followers.
    • Reworded.
  • "Shortly after the Adasca affair, the Taris Siege, and the bombardment of Jebble," the last two events are just passingly mentioned with no context and don't seem relevant to the narrative at all. I'd say it's better to not mention them at all.
    • Done.
  • "Anointing his new servants as Darth Revan and Darth Malak, the Dark Lords of the Sith, the Emperor sent them back to the Republic as a vanguard to his own invasion, ordering them to make use of the Rakatan Star Forge and to report back when they had crushed the Republic's resistance." The reintroduction of the Star Forge makes it look like the Sith suddenly had it, and then we find out that Revan is locating it after he searched a lil bit. I'd try and say from the start that Revan and Malak needed to locate and obtain the Star Forge.
    • Changed to "find and make use of"
  • "the two were taken captive by the native Black Rakata." The Black Rakata's article introduces them as a tribe, but the Revan article introduces them as if they're a species. Please revise.
    • added "tribe"
  • "When the Republic officer Saul Karath defected to Revan's forces, Revan eventually promoted Karath to commander of the entire Sith fleet. However, Malak ordered the Admiral to bombard the surface of the planet Telos IV with his flagship Leviathan," Is Karath the admiral? If so you should probably specify their (new?) rank in the first sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Changed to "newly-promoted Admiral". Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 16:17, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • You refer to the "Emperor" when Revan and Malak encounter the guy but I'm assuming that's Vitiate? If so, I think it would be better to keep using Vitiate's name rather than just the Emperor.
    • At this point in time, the Emperor was literally *only* known as the Emperor; he discarded his older names after leaving Nathema and didn't readopt others until the events of TOR.
  • You ok with these changes? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Revan quickly won a string of military victories, proving himself to a capable military leader," Proving himself to whom?
    • Republic military. Fixed. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:17, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "While Revan was a military genius who knew that the Republic's industrial might was the key to victory, […] "Moral shortcuts" became common under Revan and Malak's leadership, and the two Jedi developed a cold and calculating disposition unlike that of a Jedi; they matched the Mandalorians' brutal tactics with tactics just as merciless." If this is someone's point of view, that should be specified, because this feels to me like it flouts WP:NPOV a bit.
    • Cited - it comes from a lot of sources, like Warfare, but specifically the OOU Atlas and NEC.
  • You should specify that Foerost is a planet (or whatever the source says it is if the Foerost article is wrong). Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 12:37, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
Soldier of the Republic
  • "He also encountered a number of the building's inhabitants, such as the former waitress Dia,[39] who told Revan about how she was hiding out to avoid a bounty set by a man named Holdan after she rejected his advances." Advances being like an attempt at romance? Does the source clarify this?
    • Sexual/romantic, yes; that's what the phrase "rejected his advances" means.
  • "Taking their journals, Revan then discovered a sealed door that Vao unlocked with her security spikes. Upon finding Zaalbar within," Found him within what? What was the door to?
    • Zaalbar was behind the door. Clarified.
  • The article reads "While exploring the sewers, " and then "Before they headed down into the sewers," when I'm pretty sure they're still in the sewer. Do you mean like "Before they continued exploring the sewers" or am I missing something? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Ah, that meant to be "Before they headed down into the base." Fixed. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 18:47, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Since Revan's defeat, Malak had declared himself the new Dark Lord, taken control of the Sith Empire, and kept the Republic on the defensive." I'm assuming this is about the war in the last section, but it'd be good to clarify so to remind the reader of what already exists.
    • The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Done.
  • "However, they were barred from entering the Lower City…" This situation is sorta thrown in out of nowhere. You should Introduce the fact that they were trying to reach the Lower City because Shan's pod might be there, and then mention the Sith troopers barring their entry.
  • "but the two stayed where they were and decided to intervene when the commander threatened to kill the Aqualish if he failed to cooperate. After the three Sith were killed," I'd clarify that Revan and Onasi killed them by tweaking that last clause there.
  • "Revan purchased a pazaak deck from a man named Garouk and used it to defeat a player named Niklos." I feel that context is insufficient here. My recommendation is that the last bit is worded to say he played and defeated Niklos, the unofficial pazaak champion of Taris, at a pazaak game using the purchased card deck or something along those lines. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:59, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I am once again asking you to verify this copy-edit. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
Sectioning
Macaroni
  • Investigate/add audiobooks to app section.
  • Non-canon appearances get their own subsection per LG. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 01:00, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Context needed for Arden Kae.
    • Done.
  • The Revanchist section could use another image
    • There aren't really any images of him from that period in time; I've shifted some images around and changed their size.
  • Many sections could use more subsectioning. These include: The Revanchist, Fighting the Mandalorians, To the Lower City and beyond, The sands of Tatooine, Into the Dune Sea, Into the Shadowlands, Legacy, and others as well—I'd suggest using those as examples of ones that are too long. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:05, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Is there any new information in this source? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Nope. Just a passing mention of Revan as "the Enclave's most famous student" when talking about Dantooine's Enclave. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:15, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to get a full headshot for the infobox instead of the current cropped one? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:26, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
OOM
  • Further subsectioning is needed in the body, especially for sections such as "The hunt for the mask," where there are dozens of paragraphs. Perhaps adding a few more images would help.
    • gah. blasted session expirations, I saved a reply here earlier. I've subsectioned, but quotes will take me a bit.
  • The portions of the BTS section before the "Countinuity issues" subsection should be subsectioned as well.
    • I disagree on the need, but done.
  • "Revan also appears in a vision to the player character, the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik, in the depths of Korriban's tombs." — I don't see the significance of this explained in the BTS.
    • Removed, as I don't think it shows the actual character model unmasked, just the armored version. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 14:58, 29 March 2022 (UTC)
  • I don't think there's any need to mention the Revan novel in the BTS either. OOM 224 23:50, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
      • I suppose that's fair, to mention that the character is the protagonist of the novel. I was more so concerned with whether this sentence is really necessary: "[the novel] explains what happened to Revan and the Exile after the events of the two games." On its own, the sentence doesn't really tell the reader much about the character himself. Perhaps the sentence should point out that Revan is the protagonist of the novel before adding what the novel is about? OOM 224 17:54, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
        • Quotes added and protagonist mentioned. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 01:00, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • The images from "Warrior and Sith" on should be enlarged. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 00:36, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • done. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 01:01, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
      • That should include the Powers and abilities, Equipment, and Bts sections, too.
  • It gets confusing referring to him as "the future Revan" at the start of the bio. Should probably use different wording. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) (he/him) 05:10, 4 April 2022 (UTC)

Comments


Jai Maruk

  • Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:25, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
  2. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 10:21, 14 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Please address the objections left over from the first nomination. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:56, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Fred will have a look when he's free. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Since you have stated that the novel does not provide the exact date, you need to write a note for it. The dates are also currently inconsistent between the infobox and body.
    • Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Does it mention Phindar Spaceport? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:10, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Yes, TNEC mentioned the spaceport. ToRsO bOy (talk) 08:00, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
          • Now that specific date is infobox-exclusive. To my understanding, we only employ rounded dates now. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Also per the AC probation page, the audiobook is a simultaneous 1st appearance. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
  • Intro mentions Jai was recuperating but no indication he had been injured. There's also no mention of this in the body until you get to the P&T, but is relevant if it affected his fighting ability and was the reason he was on Coruscant during the Apprentice Tournament. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • Added injury mention in the intro and body.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Can probably fit another two images in the P&T and P&A/BTS respectively. Potentially one of the clone wars and one of Dooku/Telekinesis/Assassin Droids but ultimately up to you. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • Added two more photos.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
      • I made a slight tweak, I should've been more specific around having one image in the P7T section and the other further down. This edit ok (feel free to change the image if there's one that fits better? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 07:26, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
        • The pictures are good with me. Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Mission to Vjun - Just with the hard-sound guns, do they require two operators and is sonic projectors a synonym for the weapon? This sentence "Leem managed to battle through the pain in her head and destroy one of the two sonic projectors, which allowed Maruk to concentrate and demolish one of the droids bearing the second hard-sound gun." may need rephrasing to make this clearer. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • I've made changes to the description. Let me know if its clearer now. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
  • "As his hatred of her slowly fueled his attacks, Maruk fell into a black fury half blinded with hate as he drove her back with his flurry." Can this be rephrased to remove the double use of hate/hatred? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Intro mentions that Leem made a silent plea, but body does not make this distinction? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • Added in the body. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
  • In P&T, would you be willing to swap the third paragraph (mention of his childhood/teenage years) with the second paragraph (mention of his Clone Wars temperament)? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • That actually does work better. Switched. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you mention the Publisher for the game in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
  • BTS indicates his forces were also brought to Vjun by Ventress in the encyclopaedia. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Just check you're ok with this edit. I fixed some linking issues, but I'd like you to go through and double check your linking, I left at least one canon link and Jedi apprentice linking to the book series but also make sure you're linking as early as you can, whenever you can. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
    • Thanks. Will do a double check soon and leave another comment. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
    • Edit looks fine. I just did another look and added another link.ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
      • Please go through the entire article and double check your links are correct. I got to the second paragraph and found Jedi Apprentice, an OOU novel series as well as two canon links to Jedi Knight and Padawan Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:50, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
        • I fixed the Jedi Apprentice link and the Jedi Knight. I've removed the links from Padawan since I used it already for Jedi Apprentice, hope that works. ToRsO bOy (talk) 05:31, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
          • Check this edit as there were still a couple more, a canon link and a link to a disambig page. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
Ecks
  • I'd say the introduction length is a bit excessive compared to the size of the body; two paragraphs should suffice. See if you can cut down on some unnecessary detail and context (you don't need to give context to Clone Wars etc in the intro really).
    • I've removed what I could from the intro but couldn't get it down to 2 paragraphs. You reckon I can just say Yoda and Maruk had a bet without explaining the terms? ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Yeah, you could probably cut down on the terms a bit at least. 1358 (Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Please check your image caption and quote attribution punctuation. The former should have a period when full sentences are used whereas the latter should never have a period. 1358 (Talk) 21:26, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences need a full stop, but not otherwise. 1358 (Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
        • Revised. Googled "full sentences" and I'm still a bit unsure if I left the one photo description right. ToRsO bOy (talk) 01:04, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
          • Almost correct. "Druckenwell, Maruk's homeworld" has no predicate and isn't a full sentence, while "Jai Maruk's only visual depiction was in Star Wars: Battle for the Republic" has one. Fixed these for you. 1358 (Talk) 18:18, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
How the heck does one pronounce Vjun
  • Just confirming this: does the source actually say he was taken to the temple in his early years, or is that an assumption you're making?
    • Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you add a date for the start of the Clone Wars? "Broke out" should also link to that first battle.
  • "Head of State" is intro-exclusive.
  • Checked CSWE myself: 1) does the novel really say nothing of their wager? 2) are you sure that the third paragraph of Mission to Vjun is meant to be sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?
    • 1) It does, That bit is there as the last paragraph in the "Accepting a Padawan" section. 2) Thanks for spotting that. Yes it should be sourced to the novel. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Images should not be above quotes.
  • Please remove any contraction(s). (eg "couldn't" --> "could not") JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you show me where either the novel or the CSWE says that Maruk was surprised that Yoda made the wager with him? I'm not seeing it anywhere.
  • Can you explain why the paragraph in Accepting a Padawan is sourced to the CSWE and not the novel? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:54, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Objections
Master Fred
  • "her apparent lack of the Force..." Is that really how the source describes it, or is it more accurately a lack of connection to the Force or Force-sensitivity
    • Edited it to "her weak connection to the the Force". ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • No need to mention the CSWE entry and TERC mention in the Bts' first paragraph. We don't restate the Appearances and Sources sections in the prose anymore.
  • How did you determine the proper way to handle the contradictions mentioned in the Bts? This might be worth noting for the reader. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 23:46, 23 February 2021 (UTC)
    • I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni

Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:28, 16 July 2021 (UTC)


Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant

  • Nominated by: Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 15:06, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First FAN.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:GE

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 15:09, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
  2. Nice work VergenceScatter (talk) 05:35, 5 January 2022 (UTC)
Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 14:13, 15 March 2022 (UTC)

Object

Vergence
  • Any way you can add a "Skills and abilities" section? VergenceScatter (talk) 16:15, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Done. Added as much as i could which wasn't much.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 10:45, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Does the comic identify Ki-Adi Mundi as a Cerean? (Or at least picture him?) VergenceScatter (talk) 17:02, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Yes it shows him in a flashback.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 02:33, 5 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Is there any available context for Sword of Khashyun? VergenceScatter (talk) 17:19, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
Yakov, Sergeant Tzvi
  • The second intro paragraph has confusing sentence structure. I had trouble parsing the grammar of its second-last sentence.
  • You should clarify that "Red Fury" and "709th Legion" are the same.
  • Who is Io? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 04:59, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
  • Quote sourcing needs to be updated
  • The bio should start with a sentence that more directly introduces this character, similar to a first sentence in the intro. The context for the First Order could also go here, since its in the intro and not the bio
  • There's a few places where the writing is more like narrative prose than an encyclopedic entry, stuff like "First Order assault shuttle roared above the outpost" and "revealing his scared face and his prosthetic left eye."
  • Having not read the comic, it seems like there's stuff about the sergeants views on history that could be described in the P&T
  • The second and fourth sections of the bio need some brief context to establish the sergeant getting to the locations
  • Equipment section goes below skills and abilities
  • Mediacat needs to be linked
  • Since the StarWars.com article came out before the comic, it needs to have {{1stp}} next to it and get described in the Bts Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:15, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed. The fifth objection was a little difficult because it never shows him entering the store.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 02:29, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
  • The part about the sergeant revealing his scar and prosthetic eye can be removed, and the fact that he acquired those injuries at some point can be mentioned in the first section Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:14, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
Sergeant Samonic
  • "A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta, the First Order, as a stormtrooper and military officer of the 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury." — Could you change that to "A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta of the First Order. He served as a stormtrooper and military officer of the junta's 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury.""
  • "He had a long scar around his left eye, with a blue prosthetic in place of where his eye should be." This is like a very small P+T(Personality and traits) section, which is unnecessary as you have a P+T section below; and in any case, it should be at the end of the intro.
  • Could you merge some of the intro's paragraphs? Same thing for the body's "Paying Dok-Ondar a visit."Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 15:27, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
  • "During the conflict with the private military force, the Resistance, the sergeant—whose legion deployed to the planet Batuu at Black Spire Outpost to punish any Resistance activity." — Could you change how you introduce the Resistance to how you introduce the First Order for consistancy? — also, "[…] the sergeant—whose legion…" makes it seem like the legion was a part of the Resistance.
    • Fixed.
  • Context for Lieutenant Agnon, Kendoh Gang, Dok Ondar (should be supplied when first mentioned)
    • Context already there for Kendoh Gang and Ondar.
      • A "notorious gang"? I only understand it is a gang with that, which I already knew thanks to its name; please supply further context.
        • Please add context for Agnon. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you get a quote for "Skills and abilities/Equipment"?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:41, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
    • There is no quote from him or someone else that describes any skills or abilities.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 02:13, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
      • And Equipment?
        • Same deal.
  • Article is missing some links, please go through the article and add links where necessary; you have a duplicate link.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 17:44, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
    • This is still an issue.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Links should be supplied at the first mention of a subject. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
        • I went through and I think thats all.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 13:41, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Missing context throughout.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 17:46, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Got it.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 19:52, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Context should be supplied at the first mention and this is still an issue (Example: Basic). — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
        • Fixed.
          • No, it has not been fixed. Please read the entire article. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
            • I read the entire article and found a few things but nothing else.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 13:41, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Can this link to Batuu system? "Above Batuu"Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 20:59, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • " In 34 ABY,[3] at Black Spire Outpost[2] on the Outer Rim[4] planet Batuu,[2] a First Order assault shuttle flying above the outpost" Is this sentence missing something?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed.
  • Can you merge the first two subsections?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
    • I disagree because merging them will create one subsection way bigger than the rest. Plus I think separating it by comic issue is better for organization.
  • Who's Remex Io affiliated with?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
  • "The sergeant had never paid much attention to history, as he was more concerned with the future" and "comment at the sergeant which caused him smack Voss with the end of his blaster, making her bleed.[7]" Missing something?
  • What's the story? "Ondar understood that the sergeant had no appreciation for the past but told him the story of how he came into possession of Mundi's lightsaber.[1]" Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)
    • I don't know about this because the story is about Greedo stealing it and then Ondar saving him by buying it from Jabba. I don't think it would fit in the article because its kinda far off from the sergeant.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 13:41, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
  • The intro feels a bit too large in my opinion. Are you able to cut down some bits of extra information from the four paragraphs?
    • Fixed.
  • Is there a reason why you're linking to First Order High Command? They're simply the leaders of the First Order military, not the military itself.
    • Because one of the reviewers did a copy edit and added that so I went with it.
  • Context for Moraband. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 23:14, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
SE
  • "noting that nothing there required their presence." Just to clarify, in the intro this is referring to the location he was called to to provide support, correct? Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:02, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Correct.
  • Does he land on the planet after calling them Batuuan rats, or does he land on the outpost at a later time?
    • We don't know because next we see him is in Dok Ondar's shop.
  • "The stormtrooper sergeant held the lightsaber used by the late Cerean Jedi Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi." Does he pick up the saber in Dok's, or did he already have it?
    • Already has it.
  • "asking if he was the Jedi with the pointed head." Who is he asking?
    • Ondar. Fixed
  • "that Ondar said that he did not have to threaten him because the Ithorian was just a humble store owner with only respect for the First Order." Small, but it's a bit unclear whether Ondar is saying the sergeant doesn't have to threaten him, or the other way around. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:48, 29 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Cleared it up.
  • "He realized that this incursion was useless as the operatives were not members of the Resistance." Who were they with? Supreme Emperor Holocomm 22:44, 29 June 2022 (UTC)
    • The comic does not specify after that.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 13:42, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Solha

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Such a curiously arrogant figure; an intriguing review.spookywillowwtalk 23:44, 3 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

Lewis
  • There are multiple links missing, e.g. standard month, lightsaber. Everything that can be linked should be linked.
    • This also applies to the introduction as well.
      • On it Samonic (talk) 17:35, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
        • Introduction addressed. Is the objection addressed now? Thank you. Samonic (talk) 10:22, 12 January 2022 (UTC)
  • The circumstances of Padme meeting Solha should be expanded.
  • You should specify what blaster Solha used.
  • Duplicate links should be removed
  • Date is intro exlcusive. Lewisr (talk) 19:39, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
    • There is no specification on what blaster he used. The circumstances can't be expanded as there is no more information on the source. There are only dates in the intro. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:26, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
      • All objections are addressed. I believe so at least. Thank you for your objections. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 21:57, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
        • The date needs to be included in the main body as well. Yes there is more information to be added on the circumstances, please actually read it again and you will see. There are still multiple links missing, and they should be linked at the first mention (example: the mining link needs to be moved to the first mention of mining) Lewisr (talk) 22:10, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
          • Alright, I'll address them in some minutes. Thank you! - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:07, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
          • Dates addressed. Thanks. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 13:52, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
          • Circumstances addressed too I believe. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 13:55, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
            • Date cannot be sourced to the book. Circumstances still not addressed, look at what comes directly after Padme says when she met him once. And the links are still not all there, and again they need to be linked at the first mention (example again being factory) Lewisr (talk) 14:39, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
              • What can I source the date to? - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 17:52, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
                • Dates addressed. Mining moved, I'll address the circumstances and links as I'm able to. Thanks. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 19:52, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
                  • Added a bunch more links. Do you think there are yet more to link? Samonic (talk) 14:55, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • You should include Padme's response about what people in the Republic actually thought of him. Lewisr (talk) 17:21, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • What exactly is being sourced to the Star Wars Encyclopedia issue? Does it say the whole paragraph? Lewisr (talk) 17:21, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
    • What paragraph? The one in "Early life"? It's sourcing that he joined Dooku's rising faction on Serenno. Samonic (talk) 17:37, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
  • Welcome to the FAN. There are a few things I've noticed so far:
    • Missing Category:Galactic Republic defectors
    • No need to mention that Thrawn: Alliances was a canon novel since there is no Legends counterpart for Solha. Also, please state what installment of the Thrawn series the novel was.
    • Does the novel or Encyclopedia issue in fact state that his Serennian cloak was "distinctive"?
    • I'm assuming that the image of the B2 is supposed to illustrate the cortosis super battle droids?
    • The novel does not state that Coruscant was a planet. Please source from "capital planet of the Republic" to Star Wars: Galactic Atlas, since it does, and then put the Alliances reference after the comma at Coruscant. So "...Coruscant,[1] the capital planet of the Republic.[2]" Erebus Chronus (Talk) 20:54, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
      • Thank you, no it doesn't state that it was distinctive, I'm removing that now. Yes, the image is supposed to illustrate the Cortosis Super Battle droids. I'll source it now. Thank you for your objections! - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 22:01, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
        • All objections addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 22:05, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
          • Could you provide in the caption that Solha oversaw the cortosis SBDs construction or something similar, then, please?
            • Addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 08:15, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Please use {{EncyclopediaCite}} when referencing Encyclopedia issues. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 22:17, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 9:08, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • In the intro, there is a grammatical error in the sentence surrounding the factory's purpose for Order 66 by Sidious. Could you please amend that?
    • I believe I have, thank you. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 9:03, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • There are still signs of present tense in the article. Please change it to past tense as I've previously pointed out.
    • I'll look into it. Thank you. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 9:11, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
      • There are still some in "Raid on the factory."
        • I think they are now finally addressed! Samonic (talk) 20:36, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Please provide context for the Clone Wars, i.e. its combatants.
    • Added its combatants. Thank you. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 9:09, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • You should state that Sidious was publicly known as the Chancellor. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 22:41, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 8:19, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Please merge the second and third paragraphs in "Capture of Thrawn and Skywalker," they are small enough to be one paragraph.
    • Addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 19:55, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Is "Service level" capitalized in the book?
    • No. Addressed. - SamonicChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 19:55, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Battle droid and "droid" should not be capitalized.
  • Can we get some variety in identifying Thrawn, Solha, Anakin and Amidala? Instead of saying their names every time they are mentioned, you could vary it by saying their titles, Jedi Knight, Senator, Duke, or the Serennian and the Chiss. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:51, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thanks. Samonic (talk) 08:47, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm noticing various grammatical errors, such as misuse or no use of commas, abscences of full-stops until line 6 in the first paragraph of "Capture of Thrawn and Skywalker"
    • I think I fixed the commas and full stops in "Capture of Thrawn and Sywalker." Is there anything else to address? Samonic (talk) 20:38, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • I'll just make a copy-edit.
  • We try to avoid using "this" in in-universe sections.
  • You are still capitalizing things that shouldn't be.
    • Addressed. At least the ones we discussed on discord. Samonic (talk) 20:28, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "They entered the main building, the door to the courtyard closed and the lights came back on." - This sentence doesn't seem relevant to me. You can either remove it or reword it because it's still play-by-play like we've discussed.
    • Addressed. Samonic (talk) 20:28, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • I find it even more irrelevant, now.
        • Addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 08:30, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "When Count Dooku received vital information from an unknown species. The information explained of a rare metal, cortosis that could resist lightsabers. Dooku, who was pleased, made contact with his master, Darth Sidious, who was publicly known as the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and told him of this discovery." - You should change this sentence to mention "During the war, the Separatist leader, Count Dooku, had discovered the existence of a metal known as cortosis, which was capable of resisting lightsaber strikes. As a result, he contacted his master, the Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Sidious, who was publicly known as Supreme Chancellor Sheev Palpatine of the Republic, and explained the discovery. In Sidious's desire to utilize the cortosis for future purposes, such as his plot to destroy the Jedi Order, Dooku dispatched Duke Solha alongside his siblings to the planet Mokivj to oversee the mining operations in 19 BBY," or something similar to that. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:47, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Addressed.
      • You copied my example verbatim. Please reword it to your own.
        • Done. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 08:21, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
  • The link on "coordinates" is irrelevant to the subject, since it's not a galactic coordinate. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:59, 12 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 08:30, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
Dionne
  • The last sentence of the intro sounds a bit speculative. It is a likely scenario, but I can't recall the novel making any statements about Solha's final destiny.
    • No it didn't make any. I get I should remove it. - Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:04, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "in that time, in that time" repeat in the Early life section.
    • Addressed. - Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:09, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
      • Better, but in fact I think you could cut the first "in that time" out completely.
        • Now, addressed. Samonic (talk) 08:49, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "Padmé eventually … Padmé eventually" repeat in the second paragraph of the Dispatched to Mokivj section.
    • Addressed. - Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:09, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • There is some incorrect information in the sentence: "Duja's ship and that they came to Mokijv because there was a preset hyperspace course on Duja's ship, the Possibility". It was Padmé who used the Possibility to fly to Mokivj and her arrival there was due to the message Duja had recorded before her death. The ship Thrawn and Skywalker were using was called Larkrer or something, and it had "a Techno Union feel to it", and the stuff they spun about preset coordinates was just smoke and mirrors.
    • You're right. Addressing it when I'm able to. Thank you. Samonic (talk) 20:41, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "This devastating defeat devastated Solha's career." This sentence is both speculative and repetitive.
    • Addressed.- Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:04, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • LebJau, Cimy and Huga also speak about how Solha and his siblings treated the workers, it might go into the Personality and traits section. The workers were not given enough food and sometimes their work was just too hard to them and some of them died.
  • Just my two cents.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 19:26, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Sorry, I have couple of new ones, too.
    • No need to apologize, the more objections the better the article gets! Samonic (talk) 08:55, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Not a fan of the quote you added for Dispatched to Mokivj. It doesn't really tell anything about Solha. Maybe a quote from LebJau/Huga/Cimy that talks about the changes Solha made to the factory early on?
    • Sure. I'll look for one. Thank you. Samonic (talk) 08:15, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • Addressed. Samonic (talk) 10:05, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
        • Yes, that one is much better.
  • This bit also needs to be corrected: "calling Skywalker a thief, the Serennian aimed at Skywalker from the corridor in front of his cell with his blaster, and said that R2 wanted to be here and that he got here thanks to Skywalker, and for that alone he should be shot," Maybe make it clear Solha didn't at that point know that Skywalker was Skywalker. And that Solha thought there was a Jedi on the loose in the factory, and that the Jedi had wanted to come there, not R2.
    • First, yes, that will be addressed. On the other hand, looking into it but I'm pretty sure it's R2. Samonic (talk) 08:55, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • It is definitely not R2 they are referring to, but to the imaginary Jedi. On page 174 (hard cover novel) Anakin expressed fear about "him" coming after them because they kicked "him" of the ship. Why would anyone be scared of an R2 unit coming after them? So the "he" Anakin and Solha are speaking is the vanishing Jedi.
        • Yep, now I understand. Though page 174 leads me to Imperial era. Will take a bit more time. Samonic (talk) 18:12, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
          • I addded that it was the Jedi. Addressed I believe. Samonic (talk) 19:01, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
            • Different book editions are a pain, when trying to be helpful and provide page numbers. Because they can lead into somewhere completely irrelevant, as in this case apparently.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 18:49, 12 January 2022 (UTC)
  • "by his Uncle Skywalker" should propably be "by her 'Uncle Anakin'". Padmé never used "Uncle Skywalker".
    • Hmm, I thought it was Skywalker. I'll look into it. Samonic (talk) 08:17, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • The quote/conversation at the beginning of the Dealing with Skywalker has text missing. The whole quote reads: "Captain Boroklif is, let's say, indisposed. / I need to speak to him. / Captain Boroklif isn't here. There was trouble at Black Spire. Boroklif and his crew weren't in any condition to fly. Do I have to draw you a picture. / Are you saying they're dead? All of them?". I was under impression modifying quotes is not encouraged on Wookieepedia.
    • Sorry, I must have missed that. Addressing it now in a single edit. Samonic (talk) 18:01, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Is Solha's comm worth mentioning in the equipment section? Also there is a bit of detail where Padmé first sees Solha about the cloak: throat clasps, color and ribbing, that could help to beef out the text a little.
    • It is worth it. Addressing it when I find the page on my book.Samonic (talk) 18:18, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • There is not much detail, there's just this, I might have misunderstood. I'm adding it though. Thank you! "That wasn’t just a cloak. The style, the throat clasps, the color and ribbing—all of it identified it as a royal Serennian cloak." Samonic (talk) 18:30, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Also you might want to add a little more detail about how Padmé defeated Solha by using the grappling hook to knock him out.
    • Addressed.
    • Thanks for your most recent objections, this are really useful. Addressing all of them. Samonic (talk) 18:01, 11 January 2022 (UTC)
      • Indeed you have.
  • I think there is still some details Cimy, Huga and LebJau tell Padmé about Solha that can be cleaned from the dialogue, but I'll take a quick look to find more specific pointers of what I have in mind.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 18:49, 12 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Thank you. I'll also look for them as I believe the P+T section needs some more content. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 19:53, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
    • I think I've extracted pretty much all information from the dialogue, there isn't much else. Is that what you wanted me to add? Or is there anything else? Thank you. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 13:41, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
      • There are still couple of minor things that could be made more prominent. For example, LebJau points out that the factory as a building was in existence before the Separatists showed up and changed it for their own purposes. It could also be added to "Dispatched to Mokivj" section how secretive Solha and the other leaders were about what was being build there, how they covered everything up before lower level local workers were allowed in for maintenance.
      • It might also be worth noting that Solha himself acting as a traffic controller is a bit peculiar. When they are escorted in, Anakin doesn't take him initially that seriously, believing he is someone expendable, because he's "the flunky who vectored them in" (i.e. the traffic controller).--Dionne Jinn (talk) 18:15, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
        • I added all that, I believe this objection is finally addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 20:27, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
  • The article currently says: "Amidala then went missing for months". What is the source for months? In the novel, when Thrawn and Anakin study the grass growth pattern outside Padmé's ship, Thrawn estimates the Possibility departed there about a week before their arrival. That seems to me that she was gone only a couple of weeks, max.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 19:23, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 19:52, 13 January 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Can we add a skills and abilities section? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:36, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
    • There's not much in his skills or abilities in Thrawn: Alliances, I could add it but it would probably be almost empty. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 12:22, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
      • Added one with the information available on the source. Addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 13:08, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing an uncountably large number of commas being misused. Please go through the article to make sure that you fix all of the ones in wrong places as well as any run-on sentences. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:48, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Please let me know if at least some portion of it has been fixed. I'll continue to fix it as I'm able to. Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 11:28, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
Luca
  • There is definitely room for a few more images.
    • Added two. The ones we discussed. Thanks. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 18:27, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
  • The "A" shouldn't be capitalized in "Skills and abilities"
    • Addressed.
  • "Born and native" is redundant.
  • "It was until, when he had an encounter with Duja, former handmaiden of Amidala." Is this sentence missing something?
    • Don't think so. I'm checking it just in case though. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 18:27, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
      • I mean, it doesn't really make sense grammatically. LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno.png (Talk) 18:31, 19 January 2022 (UTC)
        • Addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 13:53, 20 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Article should specify that Thrawn is the core name.
    • Addressed.
  • It isn't clear why Anakin contacted Solha, since they were affiliated with opposing powers.
  • (Reviewing note) I'll continue reviewing the article when I get the chance. LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno.png (Talk) 17:58, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
    • All objections are addressed. Thank you. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 19:12, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
spookly
  • The intro seems to have a differing order of events than the History, in that it mentions the work he did for Dooku on Mokivj in the first paragraph before content in the second intro paragraph, making it seem like he served the Separatists before the Republic. Some of the mentions of his defection/work otherwise seem to be said twice as well.
  • The latter half of the second paragraph in the "Dispatched to Mokivj" seems like it could be condensed slightly, as there's several sentences about book events not directly relevant to Solha (in which: is there a particular reason Anakin's referred to by first name only here?).
  • "Solha knew that there was a Jedi loose in the factory, however, he didn't know who Skywalker was, he then sent Thrawn and Skywalker to some improvised prison cells." Maybe split?
  • It seems like the "Raid on the factory" section could additionally be looked at for removing some detail. Some of the conversation dialogue between other novel characters and events have little to do with Solha himself. There's also some phrases that aren't quite sentences in there, like "And she offered him to surrender in good terms.", as well as some run-ons.
    • I'm still seeing quite a bit of it, in particular:
    • "Amidala attempted to keep the Chiss in the factory, but her attempt was in vain."
    • "Their meeting also coincided with the Chiss Ascendancy's raid on the factory, retrieving the shield generator."
    • "Skywalker then left the room and began his search for the senator once again."
    • "In the meantime, Amidala evacuated the workers with LebJau before the factory was destroyed, Thrawn joined the senator and the Jedi Knight who revealed that the ore was cortosis and that it deflected blaster bolts and disabled lightsabers, thanks to its large energy absorption rate. They learned that the ore was mined in the river next to the factory and strengthened the battle droids' armor making them invulnerable, something that could change the Clone Wars forever. Thrawn then agreed to destroy the factory after the Chiss retrieved the shield generator." - can really be summarized in one sentence, that ties Solha to it.
    • "Amidala encountered the duke, who..." this paragraph details their dialogue to the point where "then" is used five times in the same section, and "told" is used a lot of times too.
    • "Amidala asked him if he thought..." - this paragraph, same issue as bullet above.
    • "And added that it was unfortunate that he would perish on Mokivj." "And that thanks to that, everyone would remember him." - still the half sentences, here.
    • "Resulting in the explosive force doing more than merely collapsing the mine's tunnels." another, from Defeat.spookywillowwtalk 04:09, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
  • The second image in the above section also seems really small on my screen, would you be against making it a bit larger?
  • In "Defeat", the image caption should specify that Coruscant is what's pictured.
  • Some P&T tweaking might be nice, in that it seems to mention his reaction to a lot of varying specific dialogue pieces, which seems unnecessary. Examples of are the sentences like "Solha was told this, he reacted with this", somewhat more like the History is phrased. Some of his skills/innovativeness in development might be better suited to skills section.
  • Is the punctuation at the end of some of the quote captions necessary? Some precdent for similar seems to not have. There's also one quote out of the many on the article that refers to Skywalker only by his last name, rather than both, like the rest. It might be nice to make them consistent.
  • Can it be established that he had joined the CIS at least by or past a certain year (likely 24 BBY given the date ref on the CIS page), given the Separatists' founding can be dated, so he must've joined past it existing?
  • Context for Batuu and Black Spire in history.spookywillowwtalk 20:07, 11 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Everything addressed, everything addressed but the first and the sixth objections, which are being worked on—the sixth one has been a problem for a while, actually. Thank you. Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 10:39, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Technically it's never said that Solha’s siblings were assigned to the planet at the same time he was, just that they were working for him there by the point Amidala arrived. (Biography)
    • "the count dispatched Solha and his siblings to the planet Mokivj to oversee the mining operations[1] around 19 BBY.[4]" it's still here.spookywillowwtalk 06:07, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
  • "During the war, the Separatist leader Dooku ..." - the article expands upon the count contacting Sidious, and that Dooku’d discovered the cortosis. In the Grysk scene, Thrawn theorizes that maybe they contacted Dooku about it, but there’s no way for him to confirm that, and Vader knows more than he does. It’s not said to have actually happened, but instead pivots to Vader’s reflection on the reality. The mention of the contacting and discovering does not seem to have basis, and since not confirmable, is irrelevant to Solha. Refer to our Discord conversation to see where this was brought up if unclear.
    • "In Darth Sidious's—Dooku's master desire to use the cortosis for various future purposes, such as his plot to destroy the Jedi Order, the count dispatched Solha and his siblings to the planet Mokivj to oversee the mining operations[1] around 19 BBY.[4]" To this point, I would reccomend re-reading Vader's scene, and perhaps reflecting on what Solha's intro has, which matches. The place produced the armor, which was intended by Sidious for his plans, but the way it's worded here ties it in with Dooku, as if he had a part in it or knew about it. From what the text says, that can't really be established, rather, it's two discordant events and theories of Thrawn that should be presented as such.spookywillowwtalk 06:07, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
  • It would be nice to see some variation in image caption wording as two images both use "teamed up", in reference to the same characters more or less.
  • In the "Raid on the factory" section, would you consider adding a quote from Solha and Amidala's encounter? There's quite some good content there. If not, the current quote's explanation, as it's only attributing who says it, seems to have little relevance to Solha as it doesn't mention him or occur in a scene where he is present, without adding something.
  • Just one example tonote, but it would be good to go through for flow, running into a lot of "they left the factory and then destroyed the factory. " type of repetitiveness.
  • Pretty sure what is included as a quote in Equipment can't actually be added as a quote because it's her thoughts and she isn't saying it.
  • The P&T doesn't need to specify that he hails from Serenno, the biography does that. Additionally, it should be fairly easy to establish Serenno as in the Outer Rim much earlier in the article, rather than way down there.
  • Solha's noted to have an identifiable Serennian accent, that can be noted.
  • Please be mindful of the proper formatting for images, which should include underscores for spaces when calling to Files.spookywillowwtalk 04:09, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • I believe I've fixed everything. Thank you.— Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 08:58, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Please double-check your quotes punctuation and styling. Several do not match what the book has.
  • The P&T does not need to double state his hailing; it's already in the body.
  • Circling back to the "Raid on the factory" section in a fresh section for comments, though stemming off what I've said above (I'll expand to specifics, given it's not fixed):
    • The first paragraph has very slim relevance to Solha, if only at the start, and then the rest doesn't relate to his mentions at all. He's not mentioned in it, and it can basically be shortened to the equivalent of "Eventually, Thrawn and Skywalker used a crafted cord to escape from the cells Solha had imprisoned the pair in."
    • The second paragraph's start runs into the same issue.
      • Parts such as "The Jedi was scared of her going alone with the Chiss however, he ultimately accepted it." - Skywalker's fear for her, is not necessary to document here.
      • "which involved Thrawn and the senator going alone to the roof to retrieve the lightsaber." can be trimmed off.
      • same with "Skywalker then left the room and began his search for the senator once again."
    • Third paragraph:
      • "they also witnessed some spheres which descended onto the factory, which were part of a Chiss mission to retrieve a deflector shield generator from the factory." is not relevant to Solha himself
      • "Until he met with his wife who gave him his lightsaber and told him that Thrawn had abandoned them." - half sentence.
      • "Skywalker fought several B2s and discovered that their armor disabled lightsabers and deflected blaster bolts. However, he used the Force and disabled them." - also not relevant.
      • In keeping the most important parts of these three paragraphs, then, ideally should be left with about one paragraph of a neat length mentioning their escape from Solha's cell, cutting to his reacquisition of his lightsaber from Amidala and Thrawn's efforts, keeping the bit about the cortosis droids encounter, and finishing with Skywalker's brief B2s fight.
    • The 4th paragraph doesn't mention Solha at all.
    • I still strongly feel, which has not been amended in the conversations that we've had, that the 5th and 6th paragraphs detail every piece of dialogue they share.
    • (To above) "As Solha continued to threaten the Republic and Amidala, Amidala told the Serennian that the rising amount of threats wasn't productive. Solha observed the senator waiting for something to happen, and then asked if she was waiting for his siblings to make an appearance. He continued and stated that his siblings and droids were making sure the ships in the courtyard couldn't fly and that the others were attacking the insurgents. He finished by saying it was unfortunate that Skywalker perished in such an unknown battle and place." Bits like this, aren't summarization, they're stating he said this, she said this, he continued, and continued, and finished by saying...she said back... There's precedent for status articles to have quips of dialogue here and there, but then summed up by the action of just saying, "they argued", and it resulted in whatever it was. The majority of this isn't necessary.
  • The Equipment section should specify when he wore the garments, such as, that he wore the cloaks and such when he met Skywalker etc.
  • The image from the "Raid on the factory" section discusses the diplomatic excursion they attended. Though they discuss the past event, it occurred much prior to. Should be tweaked at present to reflect that they're not currently at said diplomatic exchange.
  • "Solha knew that there was a Jedi loose in the factory. However, he did not remember who Skywalker was, he then sent Thrawn and Skywalker to some improvised prison cells." I'm not sure this bit makes sense. It reads as if, he knows there's a Jedi, and he doesn't remember Skywalker, but then proceeds to go and put him in a cell, which implies that he would know, having done that.
  • "The pair agreed on running a test..." a paragraph that can be shortened, as it does not mention Solha within it/he isn't present.
  • "Then two B2s blocked the courtyard's opening to prevent any escape." - half sentence, under "Dealing with Skywalker"
  • Instances of repetitiveness:
    • "Solha tried to impress Skywalker with his title, but his title did not impress the Jedi."
    • "he would open the shield when he was on the coordinates of the courtyard, that he was not stupid and he would not open it until it was truly necessary"spookywillowwtalk 06:07, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
      • I've tried to fix everything. Please let me know if my attempts have been succesful. Specifically the first paragraph of "Raid on the factory." Thank you again for your help :) — Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 09:20, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
SE
  • Do we know in what capacity Solha served the Republic?
    • Sadly, we do not. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:29, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
  • "The duke, along with his brother and sister, were dispatched to the planet Mokivj by the Separatist leader Count Dooku, a world where workers mined and proccessed cortosis, a metal that deflected blaster bolts and powered down lightsabers." Please break this sentence up in the intro.
  • Can you reword this sentence in the intro? It reads weird to me. "Under his direction, the complex also produced cortosis covered clone trooper armor, which was intended by the secret overseer of the factory, the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, to be an safeguard of success for his upcoming Order 66 initiative." Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:45, 4 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • Special thanks to Erebus Chronus, Lewisr, YakovChaimTzvi, Supreme Emperor, Imperators II and Shayanomer for the help, I appreciate it a lot! - Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 19:34, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
  • I put this here, because I'm not sure it qualifies as an objection. It's more like a question that I believe needs to be settled. In the Thrawn: Alliances Clone Wars timeline Thrawn indeed introduces himself as a Commander, but the later novel, Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising reveals that his actual rank in the Expansionary Defence Fleet at that point was Senior Captain. Which rank is the correct to use in this article?--Dionne Jinn (talk) 16:02, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Senior Captain, addressed. *Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 12:10, 12 January 2022 (UTC) 16:42, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
  • I've recently expanded the article, I believe there is no longer any content to add. (In any case, it would be minor) Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 08:16, 22 February 2022 (UTC)


Purrgil

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. My Copy-edits. — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 14:36, 30 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

Spookywilloww
  • The "other mentions" section that is present - any particular reasoning these events aren't listed chronologically to their occurrence? Some of those occur pre-Empire, in Jenza's case, by a lot - so it doesn't make sense to have them all tucked at the end.
    • At first, the info about Tech was at another place in the History section. Then there was an objection from Immi stating that it wasn't really related to the other info around it and we decided to put it into an extra section where we also put other info unrelated from any big historical events. However, we can talk about restructuring that again if you want to. CanePlayz (talk) 22:22, 30 March 2022 (UTC)
      • The information does need to be chronological. Having say, 90 BBY at the very end, past the O BBY stuff, doesn't really compute. With some wiggling around I'm sure most of that section can either be sorted into the Age of the Empire or the section above, in date order.spookywillowwtalk 18:12, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
        • Talked about on Discord, should be better now. CanePlayz (talk) 17:47, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
  • In terms of event ordering, as well, what places "At one point, the Mining Guild pilot Ahhav encountered a group of purrgil in a TIE/mg Mining Guild starfighter and fired upon them in vengeance after having survived a previous encounter." after the events of Solo? I wasn't seeing much tie in dating, given it's just a card—if there is no dating for it though, might be better to put it before Solo's part.
    • Nothing. There is no info on whether it happened before or after. What makes you think it's better to place it before Solo's part? CanePlayz (talk) 22:22, 30 March 2022 (UTC)
      • It's almost implying 'at some point prior to 10 BBY..." by placing it after Solo's event. If it's before that, all it's under is 'Age of the Empire'.spookywillowwtalk 18:12, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
        • Oh, I understand, changed it. CanePlayz (talk) 20:03, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
  • The spelling inconsistency of "purgil" from "On the Wings of Keeradaks" could be stand to be tucked into the BtS somewhere.
  • Context for Corellia, Liberation of Lothal, Capital City, Peko-Peko Munzati.
    • Added context for Corellia and the Liberation. There is nothing we know about Peko-Peko Munzati and we've agreed on Discord that Capital City is self-contextualizing. CanePlayz (talk) 02:56, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
  • A few varying sw.com articles I've found missing from sources, please check: 1 2 3 4 5 6.spookywillowwtalk 18:46, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Currently working on integrating all of them, I need to clear up some formalities about Blog posts on the Discord server first. CanePlayz (talk) 03:41, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
      • Done, two of your posts actually contained new information (one for the body, one for the BTS), thanks! CanePlayz (talk) 11:58, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
Braha
  • Context for Spectres in the intro. You also seem to give context only in its second instance in the bio.
  • Context for Kessel Run, Mining Guild, Rebels Recon, JP Balmet, Dave Filoni, Pablo Hidalgo, Black One.
  • Hera Syndulla is linked at least one instance too late and is given different context with it.
    • That's completely true, fixed. CanePlayz (talk) 11:58, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Since Corellian is a denonym, I think it'd be good to include the species of Tivoche Bilure as well.
  • Age of the Empire could use its own subsections.
  • I think it would be worth mentioning the placing of the Call in the rebels series, specifically its season and episode numbers. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 01:04, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
  • " Yushyn, the boss of the gas refinery, ordered his guards to keep the space creatures from feeding on the Clouzon-36. Pursuing their plan, Sabine Wren, a Mandalorian member of the Spectres, was about to use explosives…" whose plan? The Mining Guild's or the Spectres'?
  • "That forced the Spectres to alter their plan and Bridger was knocked off his gun emplacement by a laser blast." Who's laser blasting Ezra all of a sudden?
    • Should be clearer now. CanePlayz (talk) 17:47, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
  • "The Purrgil King also saved Bridger from asphyxiation by finding his helmet." Ok, so Ezra's helmet is now separated from him. Did that happen when he was knocked off or what?
  • "That connection enabled him to team up with the group of purrgil in their fight against the Mining Guild. The purrgil helped the Rebels by destroying one of the TIE fighters and dragging Yushyn into the crater…" Ok, I feel like you made a little time jump here. Can you explain that they began another attack? And also the TIE fighters feels out of nowhere, the Mining Guild's TIE fighters or some thing like that would be better.
    • I hope it's better now. CanePlayz (talk) 17:47, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
  • "during the Liberation of Lothal from Imperial control" I'm not into the fact you mention the event with Lothal's name before you introduce what Lothal actually is. I'd recommend something like "during the liberation of the Imperial occupied planet Lothal" or something like that. Occupation of Lothal would be a beneficial link in that case as well. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 12:16, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
  • The 7th Fleet is introduced as 7th and Seventh in the intro and body respectively. I'd advise some consistency on how that's handled. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 14:59, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you source the context of Corellia to Solo? This also applies to Lothal. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 11:01, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Nope, I can't. Added refs now, thanks. CanePlayz Jedi symbol.svg (Talk) 12:56, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Space whales
  • Can Purrgil be considered "Hyperspace technology"? I do not think a living being is technology… (I say this because of the category "Hyperspace technology")
    • You're right, don't know how I've never questioned that category being there. CanePlayz (talk) 10:18, 30 April 2022 (UTC)
  • (Review note) Nice work.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:32, 30 April 2022 (UTC)
ThrawnChiss

Comments

  • My copy-edit. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 12:16, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
  • New source for your article. SilverSunbird (talk) 20:40, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Another mention in TSS, I added the Mo appearance. NPC named "Wandering Purrgil" in Pasaana's forbidden valley says "My new name is "Wandering Purrgil". As soon as I arrived here I felt my aura recalibrate and I am definitely on the Purrgil wavelength. Now, if you will excuse me, it's time to wave these dorsal fins to the beat!" so needs a small mention. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:19, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Thanks for letting me know and adding it. CanePlayz Jedi symbol.svg (Talk) 09:55, 24 June 2022 (UTC)


Zingo Gabnit

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:28, 30 April 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote.png JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:21, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:35, 16 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • Unlike in Legends, "rebel" on its own shouldn't be capitalised in Canon articles.
    • Forgot to get that, done
  • You'll want to double-check and see if you really want to link to this Thermal Detonator article :P
    • facepalm
  • I think it'd be better to refer to the Xan sisters simply as "criminals" rather than a "criminal organization," considering there's only two of them. OOM 224 22:06, 23 February 2022 (UTC)
    • It's a wider gang per this line about them in the comic "They've been terrorizing the local farms for years, I've picked off a couple of their gang members, but I can't finish them alone." Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:49, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • I feel "mean" is a bit informal and would prefer alternatives.
    • Done
  • I can see he has an NN-14 blaster pistol. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 04:54, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
  • On my display, at least, those bio paragraphs are pretty large and need some further breaks e.g. The first paragraph of Cornered is 15 lines long. This will in fact create more space for additional images. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:56, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Article for gear grease?
    • Just linked to grease since I think that's as specific as it needs to be
  • Can you specify that Danan Karr is on Carajam? On my first read I thought it was another planet they were going to.
    • Done
  • "He responded by killing the Rodian and began firing on the villagers, killing several." - can you avoid the repetitive wording of "killing"?
    • Done
  • Even image captions whose sentences are present-tense can be considered full sentences (eg Gabnit and Fett duel.), so full stops are needed in a couple places.
    • Done
  • Review note: here's my copy-edit. It's mostly grammar stuff - watch out for comma usage, I had to fix a lot of it. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:39, 12 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments


Unidentified Tusken Raider youngling

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote.png Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:07, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
  2. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 14:41, 3 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • The first intro sentence should mention Tatooine and avoid stating that the character is a youngling twice
  • Missing some links, Youngling, Standard day, Sleep, Attack on the Kintan Striders
  • "When Fett attempted to escape, a Rodian prisoner tied up beside Fett alerted the tribe, and the child ran at the escaped captive with his stick." This sentence starts out saying Fett is escaping while the last part suggests that he's already out
  • Could you mention Tatooine's suns when talking about the sunlight in the body.
  • 9 ABY as part of the date range is infobox exclusive Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:35, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Last thing, "Child of the Sand" has four paragraphs so it can be divided in two Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:44, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Preem and I discussed this on the voice channel, the way the continuity works makes it hard to give it two sections without having to split it into a ratio of 1 to 3 paragraphs. 4 sections does not break any rules anyways (to my knowledge), it's just generally avoided. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 01:12, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Straight off the bat, that intro is way too long. It should be three paragraphs maximum for an article of this size.
  • The date note saying that a source implied something is a no-no. Is he or is he not explicitly dead?
  • Species comes before gender.
  • Do none of the other refs other than the Tatooine DB support Tatooine being a planet?
  • The fact that the melon contains milk is only mentioned in a file caption.
  • I don't believe that an extra ref for the sand ape name is necessary.
  • Is Trainspotting a real word? I'm not seeing it on dictionary websites.
    • Split it, if that helps. It had originally been worded the same way as the film title "Trainspotting," the reference I had been going for, albeit it was a stretch I know. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 02:17, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Is the "Trainspotting" quote missing a word or what he says in the episode?
  • I don't really see a need to name the suns.
    • I don't think it's excessive, but I have no strong feelings about trimming it, so it's been trimmed. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 02:17, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • I believe that Jabba the Hutt and Other Bounty Hunters and Criminals uses ASW4, not ABY, so elaboration is needed. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:02, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Shodu Warrick

  • Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:54, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A monster Ewoks nom, good luck to anyone brave enough to review this
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:EWOKS

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote.png Nice. OOM 224 16:58, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. Good work! Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:17, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • Here goes:
    • Second Biography image is indenting the subsection header on my display
      • Made it smaller.
    • Gonna have to ask you to vary your word choice here, e.g. "after," "but"
      • Hard on an article of this size but tried to mix it up a bit.
    • Would be nice to the quote attributions be a bit more descriptive rather than stating the names of the speakers, especially in the Biography section
      • How's that?
    • "things would not have been the same" — any way to make this more formal? OOM 224 22:28, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Gosh, the Ewok films have terrible lighting:
    • Given the less-eventful nature of the "Mother of four Ewoks" section, I can see why its contents were left out of the intro, but perhaps you could sum it up by saying that she raised her children, caring for them and helping to teach them to be brave/considerate.
      • Er, what's your source on that?
    • "falling comet" — should clarify that Wicket thought it was a comet, given that it's not actually one. Also, I assume it was your intention not to link "vessel" in the next paragraph since it's not really a starship?
      • Done, and I don't remember if that was intentional but it is correct.
    • "who ran inside" — inside where?
      • Added.
    • For the next subsection, I think it'd be clearer if you remove "albeit incorrectly" and explain in another sentence that the other Ewoks realised Wicket was actually alive later on.
      • Done.
    • "Shodu was standing outside" — sorry to do this again, but outside where?
      • Done.
    • It would help to explicitly establish that the Humans did not understand the Ewoks' language. Otherwise, their interactions might seem strange to some readers.
      • Done.
    • Inconsistency between "Cindel and Mace"/"Mace and Cindel"
      • Fixed.
    • I've noticed that Shodu calls Wicket "honey drop" at least twice, so that's something that could be added to P&T.
      • Added.
    • For the Equipment section, Shodu wore a purple dress when she woke Wicket up from his nightmare.
      • Pretty sure those are pajamas but done :P
    • As for the final paragraph about brown fur/gray fur, it seems to me that there's no need for it to be mentioned there at all. It's just that her fur changed colour IU as time went by (probably due to aging etc.) OOM 224 09:02, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
      • I just find that hard to believe IU - in the span of one year, her fur goes from completely brown to completely gray? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:35, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Fair enough. Man, these Ewoks have a thing with changing fur colour :P OOM 224 23:15, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
CC-8
  • Not sure if I'm missing something but if all the sources that portray Shodu with brown fur take place before her portrayal with gray fur, it would be reasonable to assume her fur turned gray between Ewoks season 1 and 2? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:28, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Same response as to OOM - I just find that hard to believe IU - in the span of (probably less than) one year, her fur goes from completely brown to completely gray? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 13:34, 20 June 2022 (UTC)
      • Oops, didn't even see OOM's objection. It still doesn't sit right with me, it's not our place as the documenters of SW canon to assume events don't count just because we can't make total sense of them. If there were contradictory stories with Shodu switching from brown to gray to brown or something it'd be a different matter. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:56, 21 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • A few things to note:
    • I was unable to find any filming info for Battle for Endor that applied to all of the scenes the way I did for Caravan of Courage—that is why there is none right now.
    • I'm treating her brown fur as non-canon for now, though I am willing to discuss it if anyone disagrees.
    • Yes, every single Ewoks episode, comic, picture book, and adaption has been checked. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:54, 10 March 2022 (UTC)


Oseon 5792

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. I can't believe I've read an article related with the Silentium again. But… it was enjoyable. — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:36, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:56, 13 May 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:57, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Silentium? Why?
  • Intro — Could you merge some of the paragraphs? I believe having 4 paragraphs of that size is unnecessary.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:58, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
    • I have cut down on the level of detail in the intro paragraphs but I do not believe that joining them into larger ones is of any benefit since they are currently well-divided thematically: the first one's Description; the second one's History prior to Calrissian's arrival; and the third and fourth one are the rest of History, split up at the point of the sudden, surprising murders. Imperators II(Talk) 06:55, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Makes sense, thank you, nice to know.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:36, 29 April 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Subjugation of Parrlay

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Support

  1. I have enjoyed this read a lot. Awesome work! — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:35, 7 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

Comments

I've done what I believe is a fairly comprehensive search through all the TPM related sources that I can find, but here's a list of everything that I suspect mentions this or uses one of the two TPM lines of dialogue quoted in the article:

Always happy to see what other info might be out there Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:24, 13 March 2022 (UTC)


Fanry

  • Nominated by: spookywillowwtalk 23:54, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Very happy with how it turned out, she's a great character.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

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Support

  1. DFaceG (talk) 06:32, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
  2. Good job :) Samonic Thrawns Chimaera.jpg (Talk) 07:39, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

Object

DFaceG
  • The use of "(pictured)" on images is not necessary, at least not for every single image. DFaceG (talk) 06:07, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Nicked away most of them, felt the first kinda needed it though.spookywillowwtalk 06:19, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
      • Instead of utilizing "pictured" or "logo pictured" in parenthesis for the Jedi Order and Galactic Republic logos, the captions could be rephrased to indicate that they were the logos without going into an aside. DFaceG (talk) 06:26, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
  • Is there a higher resolution version of the image used for the Blackguard? DFaceG (talk) 06:09, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Nope. There's only a few places to pull that book cover from, and it's a very slim slice of the cover that has the blackguards on it.spookywillowwtalk 06:19, 21 March 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Khar Delba

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Object

OOM
  • Unless it explicitly mentions Sadow owning Khar Delba, Jedi vs. Sith is not sufficient for sourcing "By 5000 BBY." An expanded date note, like the ones in the FA Simus, should be implemented instead.
    • It mentions him owning a fortress--Goodmind (talk) 11:25, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
      • Okay, but does it mention Sadow owning the fortress on Khar Delba? OOM 224 11:36, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
        • "Kressh's rival for the title of Dark Lord of the Sith was Naga Sadow, who had a fortress on Khar Delba, but also kept a secret stronghold in a crater on Khar Delba’s moon, Khar Shian."--Goodmind (talk) 13:25, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
  • It would be worth checking The Essential Guide to Warfare since it mentions that Sadow became viceroy of Khar Shian, which the start of the "Naga Sadow's decoy" section would benefit from including.
  • IIRC, Kressh didn't want to destroy Sadow's decoy fortress per se. He wanted to destroy Sadow's fortress, but he did not realise that the one he was attacking was actually a decoy. Would be great if you could re-read the comics to confirm this. OOM 224 21:21, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Please check for duplicate links.
  • You seem to be using a semicolon as a comma here: "The citadel was badly damaged due to Ludo Kressh's bombardment of the planet in the Battle of Khar Delba; but Sadow rebuilt it and, from there, put together a fleet that went on to attack the Republic in the Great Hyperspace War." You'll want to remove the "but" from the second half of the sentence (after the semicolon, since "but" can't start a grammatically correct sentence and semicolons should be in the middle of two independent clauses) or you can replace the semicolon with a comma.
  • The bts only needs to discuss the first issue it appeared in, not the other issues or subsequent arc. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:17, 10 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Defender

  • Nominated by: Erebus Chronus (Talk) 02:56, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The Defender is here
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Good job VergenceScatter (talk) 17:17, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
  2. ^ — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:01, 30 April 2022 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Ref 6 doesn't have anything on the "primary command tower" named in the body.
    • I thought "primary command tower" was in Complete Vehicles, but I was wrong, so it just has the name for the other bridge.
  • Image for Description?
    • Added.
  • I think you've provided a bit too much detail about the aftermath of the ship's destruction that isn't really relevant to this article. Just a brief mention of what the blockade's removal did is needed.
    • Is that sufficient?
  • Mediacat missing. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:43, 4 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Please specify that Skywalker became Vader, since it's his memory. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:42, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
Editor
  • What is the context of its mention in Lords of the Sith? Editoronthewiki (talk) 22:36, 9 July 2022 (UTC)
  • The fact that the Republic liberated Ryloth can't be sourced to Storm Editoronthewiki (talk) 16:14, 18 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • Complete Vehicles New Edition mentions 52 point-defense laser cannons (not sure if this is meant to be the same as light laser cannons) and doesn't specify their location. And when are these depicted in the episode? Loqiical (talk) 06:16, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
    • For some reason, Complete Vehicles changes it to "point-defense laser cannons" as opposed to what they are actually called. For example, it calls the Munificents twin turbolaser cannons "point-defense cannons," when no other sources call them that. You can also see them in the episode along the framing. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 13:53, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
      • If we are unclear about what is what, I think that those things should just be left out. Additionally, the book doesn't label those cannons as point-defense laser cannons or light laser cannons or whatever... it seems that we are just making an assumption. Loqiical (talk) 05:29, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Also, I was looking at Point of No Return and in the scene when the droids are flushed out the airlock, you can see dozens of these cannons in the portion of the hull in front of the starboard medium dual turbolaser. So this suggests that there are a lot more than 52 of them. Loqiical (talk) 02:38, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Are there any sources in canon that give specific function to each of the bridge towers? I know there were some in Legends, but I don't know if that made its way into canon yet. VergenceScatter (talk) 22:37, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
    • There are. Left bridge is starfighter flight control and the right is labeled "helm and command bridges." Never been asked to include their functions on any of my Venators so far, though. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 22:49, 24 April 2022 (UTC)


Lazerian IV

  • Nominated by: DFaceG (talk) 19:53, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST

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Object

VergenceScatter
  • You should add an inhabitants section. The information currently in the government section should be there instead. VergenceScatter (talk) 21:20, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • There is infobox exclusive information, such as the length of day and strength of gravity. VergenceScatter (talk) 21:25, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed. DFaceG (talk) 04:05, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
      • There's still infobox exclusive information about the population and the gravitational strength. VergenceScatter (talk) 04:09, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
Imp
  • Please take care of redundant linking in the article. If you haven't already, you can enable the "Highlight duplicate links in articles" gadget in your Preferences, that should help you. Imperators II(Talk) 08:23, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Duplicate links removed. DFaceG (talk) 18:37, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing the "proseline" anti-pattern—the beginning of each paragraph beginning with the formula "in date X, Y happened"—consistently feature throughout the article. Please try and rephrase the paragraphs to introduce some compositional variety. Imperators II(Talk) 18:25, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Attempted a fix, let me know if it is sufficient. DFaceG (talk) 06:22, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • While the New Republic was indeed formed in 4 ABY, for all we know the events of Twin Stars of Kira related to Lazerian IV could have occurred in the same year. Please revise, including that subsection title. Imperators II(Talk) 22:14, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Seeing many instances of "considered" and "known to be" and other similar words. I want to confirm if the wording is in fact supported by sources, otherwise you need to specify who it's "considered" by as per said sources.
    • The instances "considered" were removed as they were essentially outright confirmed to be fact by the source. Any remaining instances of "believed to be," "thought to be," or likewise are confirmed by the source to be a matter of opinion in-universe, and where it isn't stated whose opinion that is in the article is where the source does not provide that information either. DFaceG (talk) 09:04, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Man-made locations like cities go into Locations; Description is for natural characteristics, per Layout Guide.
  • Any description of inhabitants is also reserved for Inhabitants (e.g. the island chains being inhabited and Lazerian/Akwin info).
  • "many strangers with glowing blades of different colors, that cut through anything with great ease.". Is the comma there from the source itself? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:43, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Yes, I can confirm that the comma is present in the source. DFaceG (talk) 09:04, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Seeing some un-sectioned info in Inhabitants. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:32, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Please ensure Ref 10 is fully linked; each reference note is treated as a separate entity in this regard.
    • Added links. DFaceG (talk) 04:28, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Alarik X.
  • Dovin Maur is introduced as a Human male on his second mention, when it should be established upon his first. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:30, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Bakura.
  • Last one I could spot: Please clarify in the BTS that "canon" refers to the Legends continuity. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:04, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
  • I've been shown that the 70 BBY note can be greatly simplified. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:00, 9 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • Continue from "For the honor of King, planet, and Empire." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:44, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
  • One change of note has been made since the nomination without the prompting of an objection. The founding of the Kira Run is now dated to 70 BBY, and is appropriately sourced. Feel free to go back and review this addition if you feel the need to do so. DFaceG (talk) 23:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)


Insurrection on Aaloth

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Support

  1. ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:28, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
  2. Insurgents? Better call a pantoran with an eye condition!Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 13:44, 11 May 2022 (UTC)

Object

Editor
  • Could you give the first paragraph of aftermath a subsection title? Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:47, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Actually, I don't think it needs subsections at all at this point, aftermath can just remain its own section, although I'd move the Lourna image down a paragraph Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:48, 12 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Okay, done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 00:41, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
        • ? the "Echoes through Lourna's life" subsection is still in aftermath Editoronthewiki (talk) 00:57, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
          • Oh, I see. Removed that heading and left the text. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 21:24, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
Samonic needs to read The High Republic
  • If we have dating, which is the case in this article ("Some time between 272 BBY-232 BBY") I think it should be included in intro and body. Currently, you are saying "during the High Republic Era," please specify the dating.
    • It is in the body. I don't think it would be necessary in the intro, since it's a very broad range of possible dates. If you insist, though, I'll find a way to work it in. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 00:41, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
      • I would insist, but I do not see any FAs with dating in the intro... — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 07:56, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Zygerrian Alliance, Palace Guard, Clan Assembly.
    • The Zygerrian Alliance has context in the body.
    • "Palace Guard" is self-explanatory.
      • Info needs to be on intro and body.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 14:53, 30 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Added context for Clan Assembly. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 00:41, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Please add links for everything that can be linked, such as "Keeper"Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:57, 18 April 2022 (UTC)
AmazinglyCool
  • Does it appear in the script?
    • Yes; added to appearances. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 00:41, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • The second reference is very confusing. Is it formatted correctly? AmazinglyCool CIS roundel.svg (talk) 23:25, 23 April 2022 (UTC)
    • I couldn't figure out a better way to present the reasoning. The reasoning itself holds up, but I'd love if someone could help me make it smoother. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 00:41, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 15:19, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
ThrawnChiss

Comments

Mission to Bardram Scoft

  • Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 20:31, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Another Yakov SAN that almost passed but went over the word count? Can't be :P
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:Chiss, WP:Novels

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Object

Samonic
  • Article could use some sectioning and some images. And with sectioning, some more quotes.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 17:18, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
    • I can't think of any ways to create subsections for the article. If you have ideas, I'd be happy to implement them. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 17:52, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Prefect.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:37, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Article should use the {{Mission}} template. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 16:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
  • I would say the core names should be mentioned without parentheses. (Like this: Mitth'raw'nuruodo "Thrawn"/Mitth'raw'nuruodo, core name Thrawn,) Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:34, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
  • We avoid saying Unidentified, instead, we use "An ambassador," for example. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 22:06, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
    • For the infobox? Changed. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) linkWP:Chiss (talk) 16:44, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Can you add one or two more images? For example the logo of the Expansionary Defense Fleet for the Aftermath. ("Supreme General Ba'kif of the Chiss Expansionary Defense Fleet (logo pictured) and Senior Captain Thrawn discussed the possibility of striking back at the Lioaoi") Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 20:01, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
  • "As a result, nations with diplomatic relations with the Scofti" in the intro; "requiring neighboring nations" in the body. Which is correct?
  • The Unidentified Chiss ambassador should be linked in the second paragraph of the Prelude.
  • I think that the Force should be the Great Presence, as the navigators/Chiss refer to it as such.
  • "Concurrently to the mission, the Chiss had been faced with pirates attacking their shipping freighters in the outer reaches of" I don't think we know that an attack was underway at the same time as the mission.
  • I don't think mentioning Schesa is necessary, or relevant to the mission.
  • An article for the Liaoi attacks should be created. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:11, 31 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Grizmallt/Legends

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:10, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

Object

Imp
  • Please turn the TOR date citation reference into a manual ref note that pipelinks the TOR date citation template, there's no need to transclude that whole wall of text in this article. Plus you're not explicitly linking the Balmorra mission to Act II anyway. Imperators II(Talk) 09:56, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • The Online Companion ref can just be eliminated by the base Atlas ref.
    • Done
  • The misspelled name should be noted under Sourced with {{ID}} next to the corresponding source.
    • Done
  • Does this carry over the mention from older editions? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:42, 30 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Celestial Chalice

  • Nominated by: spookywillowwtalk 23:08, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: 1078 words...rip.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:18, 6 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote.png OOM 224 16:56, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Samonic
  • "The Celestial Chalice was a round temple located within the Pijali palace complex on Inner Rim planet Pijal. As an amphitheater dedicated to the ancient gods of Pijal…" is it an amphiteater or a temple?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:52, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
    • It's described as both in-text - by definition anyways, they shouldn't conflict to my knowledge.spookywillowwtalk 18:07, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
      • Amphitheater is usually an open-air circle or place where ceremonies take place, a temple is not exactly the same.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:38, 29 April 2022 (UTC)
        • In this case - I firmly believe it's wholly fitting of both, quite honestly, per: "He stood in the Celestial Chalice, the curved amphitheater to the ancient gods within the Pijali palace. This was the place for the treaty ceremony, and everything was about to begin." The definition of temple, comparatively, is a building intended for religious worship. Given the Chalice was also used for other religious ceremonies in a monarch's reign and built to worship their gods'/traditions, it qualifies as a temple - one that happens to be open-aired and circular, with the seats in it that make it an ampitheater by physical traits.spookywillowwtalk 00:06, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • Good work. My copy-edit here. Note that an en dash should be used for hyphenating word combinations (e.g. "kohlen crystal–powered) OOM 224 16:56, 12 July 2022 (UTC)


OOM-9/Legends (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 137.
  • Date added: May 4, 2022

(0) (Inquisitorius votes only)

Support

Object

Macaroni
  • I believe that current precedent is not to document degree of droids in individual droid articles and to save it for the series, since individual droids' degree never differ from their series. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:10, 5 May 2022 (UTC)

Comments

D'urban Wen-Hurd

  • Nominated by: SilverSunbird (talk) 02:04, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: hair flip
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote.png The nomination par excellence. OOM 224 21:22, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. Just, wow.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 11:36, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:46, 2 August 2022 (UTC)

Object

Vitus
Shayanomer
  • Straight away I have to tell you that that intro is way too short for an article of this length, let alone this being a Featured article nomination. Please expand with more detail. Take a look at some of the site's longer and well-known FAs such as CT-7567/Legends and Executor/Legends to get a rough idea of a intro-to-body word count ratio that is expected. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 03:16, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
    • I trust the new intro length will be sufficient. SilverSunbird (talk) 03:29, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
OOM
  • Review note: Just in case you don't know, you can enable the highlight duplicate links tool through Special:Preferences#mw-prefsection-gadgets and then, to activate the highlighting when viewing a page, click on the tool using the "My Tools" dropdown in your toolbar, at the bottom-right of your screen. That way it's a lot easier to find dupe links.
  • I don't think there's a need to mention Sifo-Dyas.
  • Would be nice if you could minimise the repetition of the word "after," particularly in the "Skywalker's disappearance" section. OOM 224 14:53, 20 May 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • I don't think the bit about her hair is really intro-relevant.
    • Removed.
  • I get why Anakin is mentioned in the intro, but why is Keer the only other knighted Jedi who gets named there?
    • Added the others.
  • I think you can add a second subsection for the latter two paragraphs of "First Duties", along with a quote if available.
    • That would IMO create a really short section, and I prefer to avoid those.
      • I think most of the time two paragraphs is a perfectly normal section length, but since it's not really lowering the article quality I'm fine with it. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:46, 2 August 2022 (UTC)
  • P+T: I don't see how the bit about bounty hunters adds to your summary of Wen-Hurd's personality. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 06:01, 1 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • I... your turnaround time is insane. Major props. Dentface (talk) 03:04, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Yeah great work! Had to give you a Wookiee Cookie for all your hard work with this novel --Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:58, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Echoing the above, totally speechless! Amazing work. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:25, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
  • The novel came out recently… and you have an article nominated for Featured article. Excellent job, SilverSunbird.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:44, 16 May 2022 (UTC)


Kem Monnon/Legends

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 03:30, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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  1. Nicely done.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:39, 16 May 2022 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Aarrba's Repair Dock

  • Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 21:19, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: As I was re-reading Tales of the Jedi, I looked at that infobox image panel and then at this LEGO set that I'd recently built...
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:COMICS, WP:TOTJ

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:09, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:33, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:03, 11 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Braha's objection section

Comments

Jori Daragon's amulet

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:03, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

Object

Thrawn
  • Your date reference for the discovered by date is just dated to a Kotor 25, not a source that dates Kotor 25. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 12:45, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Yes, that's because KotOR25 itself provides an explicit date for its events. Imperators II(Talk) 13:32, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
      • Sorry, I'm reading the beginning KotOR comic issues and none of them have BBY dates, so I assumed it would carry throughout to whole comic. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:13, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
        • Not sure what you're talking about, the KotOR run had BBY dates beginning with Issue 1. Imperators II(Talk) 20:29, 18 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments

  • The image in Behind the scenes is in the same side as the previous image. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:39, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
    • Yes, and that's fine. There's well-established precedent to right-align the BTS image regardless of the rest of the body, because that's just the best way it works for the BTS. Imperators II(Talk) 13:32, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
      • Nice to know, thanks! Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:03, 18 June 2022 (UTC)


Jeremoch Colton

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:10, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Not every day my GAs get retconned into doing things in two additional films.
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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Support

  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:28, 28 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:27, 28 June 2022 (UTC)

Object

Braha'moch
Generalirius Samoch
  • Context for Order 66.Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:56, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:16, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Intro: I would say "Galactic Republic" is too unspecific, could you specify? — Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:55, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
        • In relation to Colton and especially in the intro I think that's sufficient. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:15, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Clone Wars, Accresker Jail, Crimson Dawn. I don't know if it's really necessary, but: Being completely new to the terms "Sava" and "Madelin Sun," I have absolutely no idea of what they are, could you supply further context?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 08:55, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
    • I've added the combatants of the Clone Wars and context for Crimson Dawn. Accresker Jail is self contextualizing as it has jail in the name, and Sava is a title and so is the context for Madeline Sun, an individual, in the same way that you'd say Captain Jeremoch Colton. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:15, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
      • Alright, thanks; perhaps specifying the prison's location would be nice?Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:00, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
        • The prison is mobile so it doesn't have a location but I've added some additional context. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:07, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
Thrawn
  • Can Allan Dean Foster ghostwriting of ANH really be sourced to the ANHN? George Lucas's name is on the cover. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:16, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
    • It isn't sourced to the novelization? Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:53, 23 June 2022 (UTC)
      • So sorry, I don't know what I thought. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:27, 28 June 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Voon

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  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:15, 28 May 2022 (UTC)

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Meeka Reen

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  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 10:19, 15 July 2022 (UTC)

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Jerne

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

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  1. Inqvote.png Don't you "the Jerni had an empire on Jerne" me, and on the FAN too. The sheer impudence. OOM 224 16:46, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
  2. Jerni, Jerne? I'm confused. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 19:22, 28 June 2022 (UTC)

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Gor Koresh

  • Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:33, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: So this is the first FAN I've done of a thing that we don't specifically see die or get destroyed. Thanks go to the editors that helped me with images and sources I don't have in my collection, because none of my Mando noms would've happened without me pestering other users on the Discord server for help with them :P
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TMND

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  1. Review finished through Discord. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:00, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote.png Nice work! OOM 224 19:28, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:37, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Samonic
  • (Review note: I removed some duplicate links and did a copy-edit after that.)
    • Managed to find another myself, thanks.
  • Species go before gender in the intro. (I checked Valin Hess to confirm this :P)
    • I hate this practice, but changed.
      • I do too, I hate precedent in general, but at some point someone would point it out. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm not really sure that quote fits in equipment. Did Koresh use Beskar in his clothing or in his exploits? Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:23, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • About the last image of the BTS, wouldn't it make more sense to say "John Rosengrant" on the set of Koresh's arena with Jon Favreau? I say this because BTS is OOU, and it would make more sense to mention the actor there.
  • Unidentified Outer Rim planet (Carnita arena) must be linked. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 18:08, 10 July 2022 (UTC)
OOM
  • RE: the species gender precedent that Samonic (correctly) pointed out: I know this was a thing that the review boards objected upon in the past, but the AC has largely agreed that it works either way, so the order here is just up to you the nominator.
    • Ok I remember that for the future. Thanks!
  • Would be nice to have the images enlarged, and on default width, the Imagecat is interfering with the Appearances list.
    • Maybe it's me, but I feel like the default image px has had to be increased gradually since my beginnings in 2018.
      • Heh, yeah I feel that too.
  • When used as compound adjectives, units of measurements should be hyphenated, meaning it should be "1.73-meter-tall" instead in P&T.
    • Fixed.
  • "brown under-clothing with brown gloves a white sport coat, including a symbol of his arena, intended to give an air of respectability" — Might want to fix this bit. I'd copy-edit it myself, but I'm not familiar with the sources.
    • How does this look?
  • For magazine and comics, individual issues should be presented in prose in this kind of format: "the ninety-ninth issue of the Star Wars Insider magazine"/"the Star Wars Insider magazine's 100th issue." The order can be switched as necessary, but values under 100 should be spelled out.
    • What do you think of this wording?
      • Neat, that works. Just made a slight adjustment. OOM 224 19:32, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
  • I don't see the need to mention Disney+'s launch at the end of the "Identity" section. OOM 224 16:00, 12 July 2022 (UTC)
    • Very well, removed.
  • "As the injured Gamorrean then evaded death" — it's best to avoid ambiguous wording such as this. Would something like "struggled to survive" work here? OOM 224 16:17, 12 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

4-A7 (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 138.
  • Date added: June 7, 2022

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Chandrila/Legends

  • Nominated by: VergenceScatter (talk) 17:35, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Main event time
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:CO, WP:FFG, WP:NOVELS

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Imp
  • Oof, ambitious project! Let's start with some preliminaries. Please implement Northern Dependencies/Arrowhead, per the moon noms.
    • Possibly too ambitious :P. It was in the body, but added to the intro.
      • Er, I was meaning the infobox. That level of astro detail isn't actually necessary in the intro.
        • Would that go in the region field? The Moon noms don't have it in the infobox at all. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:14, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Per LG, please remove any info that's inferred from Atlas maps without an explicit depiction of Chandrila.
    • Removed. Would it still be reasonable to say something like "Chandrila lay within territory that was part of Darth Krayt's empire," since that doesn't explicitly state Chandrila was part of the empire?
      • Nope, avoiding that sort of thing is precisely what that LG rule is about.
  • Duplicate links.
    • Oops, thought I'd gotten all of them.
  • Please double-check the chronological order of all Appearances items. e.g., "Do No Harm" is 2 ABY whereas Star Wars: Rebellion is 0 ABY; "Fists of Ion" placement is off...
    • Should all be done. I'm not quite sure about the placement of SWAJsmall.jpg "Death-Hunter" – Star Wars Adventure Journal 9, though. Our article says it's 0-3 ABY but I can't seem to find a source that actually confirms that. VergenceScatter (talk) 22:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
      • Do you mean that nothing in the adventure itself establishes such a dating range? Imperators II(Talk) 07:40, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
        • Well, Crix Madine is a general in the Alliance so it takes place after his defection, which was just before Yavin. But otherwise, no, I don't see anything that specifies when it takes place. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:14, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
  • While you're on that, per the recent modification to the LG Rebel Dawn would be placed at 2 BBY, therefore before a few of the Appearances items it's currently located below. On the same topic, just to confirm: are the GNN stories ordered chronologically?
    • Rebel Dawn has been moved up. The GNN stories are chronological, yes. VergenceScatter (talk) 22:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  • You sure Chandrila appears in "Ruins of Kabus-Dabeh"?
    • That should be an {{Mo}}
      • ...Then why isn't it? :P
  • You can't have Chandrila fully appearing in the HNN stories unless it's visually depicted. The news stories are something that anyone in the wide galaxy could have received over the HoloNet and read wherever - the planet itself doesn't actually appear there. Same goes for the GNN stories.
    • Yeah, that makes sense. VergenceScatter (talk) 20:56, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
      • So the GNN ones should also all get Mo.
        • Done
  • Please wrap the Republic HNN issues in the appropriate citation template.
    • Done
  • Please get rid of italics within double quotes everywhere in the article.
    • Only found one, but it's fixed now
      • Shadis.
        • That's just how the template treats it, I did not nothing to italicize it. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:14, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Is Chandrila itself mentioned in the Shadis issue?
    • It is ("Mon Mothma of Chandrila")
  • Looks like you've got an erroneous 1stm next to The Truce at Bakura, and it's missing next to the Star Wars Sourcebook.
    • Fixed
      • If The Truce at Bakura is a full appearance that predates Rebellion.
        • It's a mention
  • If the Dark Empire Sourcebook short fiction features a full appearance, it predates Rebellion.
    • Looking at it again, it should be an Mo. Arhul was sending the message from Chandrila but that's not really an appearance of the planet. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:14, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Online Companion ref needs elaboration.
    • Done
  • Fact File ref needs appropriate citation template.
    • Added
  • Please implement full linking for all manual ref notes.
  • Please check the punctuation (missing full stop) on all image captions and manual reference notes.
    • Please go through the image captions again.
      • Gone through.
  • Remember that manual ref notes are like self-contained mini-articles themselves - so please make sure that, when you mention IU facts in them, you also note sources that support that. e.g., "Zhir Tolavor traveled to Chandrila at the same time as the Destruction of Alderaan" - source?
    • This is still not self-contained "The Essential Reader's Companion dates the events of X-Wing: Iron Fist, during which dance is seen beyond Chandrila, to 7 ABY."
      • How is it now?
    • All three should be done
  • I'm seeing a few instances of "Allegiance" pointing to the wrong page, please double check the linking.
    • Stupid Star Wars, giving everything the same name :P
  • I'm seeing more than one reference pointing to the same source (Rogue Squadron), please double check all of them.
    • Ah, that one was left over from the original infobox before I expanded it. Fixed and didn't see any others
  • For sources that got reprinted in later media, e.g., "Recon & Report" and Dark Force Rising Sourcebook, instead please use the latter form of publication.
    • Should be done.
  • Please add the release years for the sources that are discussed in the BTS.
    • All done, except for the Rogue Squadron player's guide. I can't even find a reliable year for that.
  • Per precedent, please right-align the BTS image - it looks much better that way.
    • Done—is it okay that there are now two right-aligned images in a row?
      • Yeah, that's fine.
  • Please make sure the images in the article are placed below quotes.
    • Done
  • Please add Mediacat.
    • Added
      • Whichever section you end up adding it in, it should be inside a scrollbox.
        • Looks like Shay fixed that
  • Warfare does not, in fact, establish that the First Great Schism battle on Chandrila was a "minor" one, please remove that.
    • I've added a reference note, but since we know that there were no major battles fought on the planet during that time, it must have been a minor battle.
      • On further thought I guess there's something in between major and minor, so I've changed it to just say that it wasn't major VergenceScatter (talk) 04:06, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
  • "Well after 3963 BBY, the Library of Chandrila discovered a Sith document, which was quickly disposed of by an agent of former Jedi Krynda Draay and Haazen.[20]" — please double check the dating here.
    • The main events of the comic are in 3963 BBY, and the scene where the library is mentioned are described as taking place "much of a lifetime later"
      • You're reading that wrong, the scene with the mention of the library is "much of a lifetime later" than the flashback scenes from the Great Sith War. Imperators II(Talk) 07:43, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
  • TOR dates cannot be sourced straight to the game itself.
    • How does that look?
  • Please note that references go inside, not outside, em dashes. Imperators II(Talk) 19:14, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
  • You've got some template breakage with the Atlas Penguin Random House one.
    • Fixed.
  • "Coruscant and the Core Worlds establishes that no major battles were fought on Chandrila for 25,000 years after its founding, meaning that the battle must not have been a major battle." — what is it referring to here?
    • Settlement would be a much better word there, fixed.
  • Is defeating Ikoral really a mandatory action when playing TOR? If not, the corresponding section needs to have game completion tags added. Imperators II(Talk) 06:49, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
    • It is. There's even a cut scene where it's confirmed VergenceScatter (talk) 15:15, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
Shayanomer
Thrawn

Comments

  • I tried to include mentions of every Chandrilan individual within the article. If any of them are repetitive/unnecessary I'd be happy to remove them VergenceScatter (talk) 17:35, 15 June 2022 (UTC)


Haidoral Prime

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  1. Nice work VergenceScatter (talk) 01:09, 21 June 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote.png Neat OOM 224 22:30, 13 July 2022 (UTC)
  3. Very nice work with your recent nominations! Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 07:16, 14 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Kilji Illumine Prime
  • "The Mid Rim too, Trandosha and Naboo, and Bothawui, Naator, Phorsa Gedd, Ithor, Coyerti, Haidoral […] All these, young Luke, await the last attack." The […] shouldn't be italicized in the quote. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 20:53, 28 June 2022 (UTC)
  • You should add (pictured) in each image to clarify what's pictured. (Example: Everi Chalis (pictured) was appointed governor of Haidoral Prime as a punishment.) Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 12:34, 29 June 2022 (UTC)
  • In the 2° subsection, can you change one of the Afters to something like "following", etc? Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:10, 11 July 2022 (UTC)
The Prelate
  • I know I already supported, but I just noticed that there are now two images with a redlinked category for images of haidoral prime. Can you please at a mediacat? VergenceScatter (talk) 06:26, 9 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Garven Dreis/Legends (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 139.
  • Date added: June 25, 2022

(+1) (Inquisitorius votes only)

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  1. Inqvote.png Alright, that should be all from me. OOM 224 20:29, 10 August 2022 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • 19 BBY is still intro-exclusive.
    • I'd like to have the article specify that the Clone Wars was "three-year-long," so I've put the years in parentheses instead.
  • "amongst the scrambling pilots there" -- in the context of his emotions, I'm not quite sure what this is trying to say. Any way to reword?
    • Should be better now.
  • Context for Home One. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:22, 22 July 2022 (UTC)
    • Donezo. OOM 224 10:47, 22 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Under Discrepancies, can you say what color the V symbols are supposed to be? I know it says it under Equipment, but readers won't remember that.
  • This might just be me, but I don't think Video game cameos makes it clear why his role in RSII has been relegated to the bts. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:29, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

OOM 224 22:02, 27 July 2022 (UTC)

  • Interestingly, amongst the pilots in The Dam Busters (and the actual WWII battle) are "Dave" and "Popsies," but I don't think there's sufficient evidence to suggest that they have anything to do with Garven Dreis and Davish Krail's nicknames, unlike the similarity in dialogue (and plot) between that film and ANH, which are pretty much word-for-word identical. OOM 224 17:14, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Updates finally done \o/ will probably copy-edit later. OOM 224 20:34, 1 August 2022 (UTC)


Ginivex-class fanblade starfighter (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 139.
  • Date added: June 25, 2022

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Haja Estree

  • Nominated by: skywalkerZIARA (talk) 17:36, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: fake jedi = best jedi
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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Jade Moonstroller
  • I am not sure the entire Personality & Traits section can be sourced to that single reference. Jade Moonstroller (talk) 18:25, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
Samonic
  • Duplicate link.
  • Infobox image should be neutral; it seems Haja is midsentence. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 20:56, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for the Devastator please. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:06, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
    • done
  • Missing {{Mediacat}}.
    • first time using Mediacat, does that work? skywalkerZIARA (talk) 21:29, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
  • I've read through the article but I will give it a proper review on Sunday. (review note)Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 21:13, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Shazil: I've noticed that you have no good articles to your name. I thought I would let you know, as one of the FAN rules is the following: …be nominated by a user who has promoted at least one article to Good article status. And if you don't have a good article, you can't nominate a FAN. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:35, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Missing link to death in the intro.
  • The "Later" in the intro's second paragraphs shouldn't be there. Just say "shortly after." (Later could mean years later, weeks later, hours later…)
  • "an anti-Imperial network" is not sufficient context for The Path. You should say that it was a network that sheltered Jedi.
  • I think Estree's contact at the spaceport is notable enough for a page.
  • You can't source this (an anti-Imperial network known as "the Path." The Path used a series of safehouses to smuggle real Force-sensitives, who were thus fugitives of the Empire, to the Outer Rim Territories) to the Force Awakens Beginner Game.
  • "but he wanted to make amends. He added that he got the family to safety" You should specify that this refers to Corran's mother and Corran.
  • In the end of the biography, you should say that Amidala was indeed brought to Alderaan. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 11:10, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
  • Hunted shouldn't link to Order 66, but to the Great Jedi Purge, as the latter is an event, while the former is not. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 11:11, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
Braja Enthusiatree
  • Context for the Path in the intro and Jabiim and Alderaan in the body.
    • done
      • The context for those planets need the relevant referencing too.
        • fixed skywalkerZIARA (talk) 00:58, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
          • Still a bit faulty, Part III doesn't call Jabiim a world (Part V audio description does to my knowledge), the refs you put in attribute to entire sentences before that should be ref'd to episodes, and the Princess Leia Encyclopedia page doesn't call Alderaan a planet, just Leia's homeworld. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 14:23, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Any reason hyperdrive is capitalised?
    • nope, the page was capitalized so i left it as is lol
  • The transitions between Haja's Part V & VI scenes are lacking any detail for the larger story context. I think you should summarise the battle that occurred while Haja was watching Leia in at least a sentence. As well as this, the article skips from the people boarding the transport to the Devastator chase, the departure from Jabiim should get covered too.
    • added, lmk if it needs more skywalkerZIARA (talk) 21:45, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
      • For the attack, it'd be good to mention how it ended, and also move the link to the first mention of it.
        For the escape, you should just say upfront that a decoy transport took off, which Vader took down, before their transport then escaped. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 09:11, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
        • does that work?
  • The P&T leans a lot on Part II and not on anything Haja says in Parts V & VI like his comment on the people being business opportunities. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:23, 15 July 2022 (UTC)
    • hows that?skywalkerZIARA (talk) 01:13, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
      • I'm not sure whether the Part V line should be interpreted as humorous or from a different perspective, given he was a conman. You could mention his line about being a liar and a fake Jedi in conjunction with his making amends bit. And also "showing where his loyalties lie" isn't the best wording since he was technically already loyal to the Path from what we can see in Parts II and III. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 14:23, 19 July 2022 (UTC)
  • The intro says "Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi", the bio says "former Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi". Can you make this consistent? Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 09:11, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Part II does not call Corellia a planet.
  • "After Organa opened up the hangar bay doors, Estree dropped Kenobi's imagecaster while running to the transport, which was later found by the Third Sister." first two clauses are fine, but I think the last bit should go as a meanwhile after they flee Jabiim. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 14:23, 19 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Bansu Ro

  • Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 14:33, 17 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Returning to my Shadow Wing members effort with a comic/novel crossover character. I'd like to think Ro's family was part of the big crowd at the end of the Liberation of Lothal and he was just some grumpy loyalist that ran away.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:AMB, WP:CO, WP:NOVELS

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Crofyp Ro

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Servit

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  1. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 09:31, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

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Samonic
  • Do we have an article for the skirmish at Dex's Diner and the raid that killed Servit's diner? If yes, they should be linked, if not, I feel like they're notable enough to have pages. Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg 16:10, 20 July 2022 (UTC)
    • I've made one for the raid on Shara'Tam, but I don't think the other one is notable. They just shoot at each other a bit. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:48, 21 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Horox Ryyder

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:07, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Not a GA I thought would be boosted to FAN this soon, but glad he has been
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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