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Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations

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The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must…

  1. …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, non-point of view.
  3. …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
  4. …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  5. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  6. …following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
  7. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  8. …have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the Main Page's "Article Showcase."
  9. …have no redlinks.
  10. …provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
  11. …include a "Personality and traits" section on all character articles.
  12. …ideally include a "Powers and abilities" section for Force-sensitive characters and a "Skills and abilities" section for non–Force-sensitive characters, where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
  13. …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
  14. …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
  15. …counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).
  16. …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:

  1. First, find an article you feel is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
  2. Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating and save the page. NOTE: If the article you are nominating has been nominated for FA one or more times previously, you will need to specify a new subpage name as a parameter in the template (e.g. {{FAnom|Lorum ipsum (second nomination)}}).
  3. Open the redlink (in a new tab or window, if possible) and fill out the form according to the instructions provided.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
  7. Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
  8. The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
  9. Be sure to place your signature in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.
  10. Users may not vote on their own articles.

How to vote:

  1. Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
  3. Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
  4. If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
  5. As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
  6. Once the minimum nomination period has passed, an article that has achieved the required number of supporting votes and has no outstanding objections will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." A nomination will be considered successful if one of the following criteria is met:
    • five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • four supporting Inquisitor votes, plus two additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • three supporting Inquisitor votes, plus four additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week; or
    • seven supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least two days.

Also remember to add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by Inquisitorius vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.

Note: Reduxed articles require only four Inquisitorius support votes to maintain their Featured status. Reduxed articles will be subject to removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.


Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Jaden Korr

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:28, March 10, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see the article through the nomination process the last time. However, I have put a lot of work into this and would really like to try nominating it again. I have made my best effort to address the outstanding objections from the last nom, as well as making overall adjustments to the article, mostly having to do with paragraph size.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Nicely written. Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:30, June 14, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
Infobox / intro
  • Looking at the BTS and his appearance in Jedi Academy, I'm thinking that it would be best to leave off the circa 1 ABY birth date, unless there is more information backing this estimate up. From what is in the reference, all we have is one guy thinking that he appears to be about 40 in 41 ABY. Just because he appears to be forty, that doesn't mean that he actually is close to that age. He could be considerably older and just look younger. I'd still mention the age he appears in the P&T, but I don't think it is enough to specify a birth date from.
    • Age removed from infobox and bio. P&T slightly tweaked. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
Biography - Disciples of Ragnos crisis
  • Does the game identify the Falcon as a YT-1300 freighter or say that it was famous?
  • Based on recent review of the R5 droid, does the game call the droid an R5 unit? If not, it will need additional sourcing.
    • Yes, it specifically calls it an "R5 droid." QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game identify his fighter as a Z-95 Headhunter?
    • The game files for the ship refer to it as a Z-95. Also there exists a cheat code "spawn Z-95" that spawns Jaden's ship. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Do we know that the Blenjeel merchant ship was attacked by an Interdictor-class Star Destroyer. The article for the attack calls it an Immobilizer 418 cruiser, and the page for the Star Detroyer does not have Jedi Academy as an appearance.
    • The game refers to it as an "Interdictor cruiser." I'm not that great with starship designations, so I'm unsure which one it refers to. Any ideas? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game provide the full name for the T-65 X-wing starfighter?
  • "The battle was challenging for Korr" How does the game present this information?
    • Mostly just game mechanics, nothing really IU that states so. Reworded. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:38, October 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Is the name "Dreadnaught-class heavy cruiser" used by the game?
    • It's called an "Imperial dreadnaught" in the game. I've constructed an external ref; take a look if it works. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game identify the ship at Korriban as an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer. Sourcing something as an Imperial II-class ship is a little more difficult unless the source specifies it.
Personality and Traits
  • "He preferred to keep his hair short, but he had let his facial hair grow out by 41 ABY, and he styled it in a neatly trimmed goatee," As you sourced the 41 BBY date to another reference in the biography, I am assuming the same needs to be done here as well.
  • "Korr was struggling with doubt regarding his role in the Force." I am a little confused here, what does the image under eternal thinker have to do with this phrase?
    • I was struggling to find any relevant images to illustrate that section to be honest. The idea was that the picture was a symbol of the Force, and Jaden struggled with finding his role in the Force…yeah, whatever. Removed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Other talents you have two straight references to Crosscurrent. Is one of them supposed to be something else or is it just a duplicate?
Equipment
  • Under this section you source 41 ABY to Crosscurrent which is inconsistent with how you sourced it earlier.
BTS - Character development
  • "Korr was originally going to be called Atton Rand..." For this one, do we know that Atton Rand was going to be the name of the main character? He could have been Rosh Penin or somebody else unless we have something more than the Easter egg quote to back that up.
    • Removed that part and the quote. There's no actual official word on this, AFAIK. Only widespread fan assumption that he meant Jaden. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Why is reference 11 (it appears to be dating the Battle of Hoth) used as a source in the second paragraph of the Character development section.
  • For the second paragraph of the character development section, I don't believe the sources provided are sufficient to back up that entire paragraph.
    • I fail to see the issue here. Are you talking about the first part of the paragraph? Which discusses how he went unreferenced? Well, how do you source someone not appearing somewhere? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
      • I think I misread what year the Fury novel was released and thought there were additional reference books that he appeared in before he was referenced.
  • Does the Crosscurrent novel mention a January 26, 2010 release date? I suspect that this will need additional referencing.
BTS - Character customization and appearance
  • "The first information on Korr's identity came from the 2005 reference book The New Essential Chronology, which addressed Korr as a "he," invalidating all female options in the game." I don't think you want to have the Battle of Hoth date to reference this.
  • "Although it did not necessarily specify his species, it excluded Rodian and Kel Dor from consideration, as those species are naturally hairless, only leaving Human as a possibility." Unless the novel mentions that those species do not have hair, you will need to source that to something else.
  • "such as the goatee that Korr wore as of 41 ABY" Is the 41 ABY date presented directly in the actual novel outside of any Del Rey timelines? If not, you will need to provided additional referencing.
BTS - Jedi Academy alternative ending
  • "confirmed to be proper in future Legends material" This needs to be sourced to something other than the game.
BTS - Errors and contradictions
  • "although Riptide does establish that Korr's appearances post-41 ABY are in the Iteration's body" Is the 41 ABY date presented directly in the actual novel outside of any Del Rey timelines? If not, you will need to provided additional referencing.
  • "This is incorrect, as the character does indeed appear in the latter novel." This cannot be sourced to the ERC.
  • There is some sort of error with reference 51.
  • "Through Khedryn Faal's estimation, Crosscurrent gives Korr's approximate age during the events of the novel as forty years old, which would put him at thirteen years old during the events of Jedi Academy, set in 14 ABY." Per what I said above, I don't think this an inconsistency as much as it is an incorrect estimation of his age.
  • "In Crosscurrent, Korr laments distancing himself from Valin Horn, indicating some sort of relationship between the two. After the publication of the novel, when asked what their relationship was, Kemp said that he could not reveal it yet." I don't think the referenced forum post is the correct one as I do not see any mention of Valin Horn.
  • "Riptide states that Korr entered the Jedi Praxeum nine years after the death of Emperor Palpatine, which occurred in 4 ABY, according to The New Essential Chronology." I would reference the first part of this sentence to Crosscurrent and then change then move the source into a reference. There really isn't any reason to include the source in the paragraph itself.
  • "However, the events of the Jedi Academy video game are actually dated to to 14 ABY, ten years after the Emperor's death, by The New Essential Chronology." This can't be sourced to Crosscurrent.
BTS - Ambiguous information
  • "Paul S. Kemp has stated that he intended Zeerid Korr, a character from The Old Republic: Deceived, his other novel set thousands of years before the events of Jedi Academy, to have been an ancestor of Jaden, however no Legends source confirmed that the two were indeed related." This cannot all be sourced to the tweet.
  • "Several times in Riptide, and even in certain parts of Crosscurrent before that, Kemp seemingly hints at the possibility of Korr himself being a part of Thrawn's cloning program, planted on Coruscant as a sleeper agent in his youth." As you reference Riptide and Crosscurrent, you cannot just source the entire sentence to Crosscurrent.
BTS - Canceled content
  • I'm not really seeing the point of including the Legends image in the BTS.
  • Could you add a quote to the Canceled content section? There appears to be one in the referenced interview that you can use.
  • I will give the article another pass once you look through these.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 00:36, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
Wave 2
  • Under Answering a distress call: The CSWE entry for Blenjeel mentions Korr's mission to the planet. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Under Hostage rescue: The CSWE entry for Nar Kreeta mentions Korr rescuing the elders on Nar Kreeta. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Under Apprehending Lannik Racto: The CSWE entry for Rax Joris references Korr's capture, which means that Korr went to Dosunn. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Based on the Blenjeel, Nar Kreeta and Rax Joris entries, could you check to see if any likely related entries reference Korr going to any of the planets? You might be able to confirm more missions as official.
    • In addition to those, I've only been able to confirm the capture of Lannik Racto, based on his respective entry. None of the other optional missions are referenced in the CSWE, as far as I can tell. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:37, October 21, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under The fallen apprentice: "During the fight, the twins kept empowering Penin with life energy and augmenting his dark side abilities." Empowering Penin with life energy sounds a little too much like game mechanics. Does this mean that they were healing him? This could use to the be reworded.
  • Under Tomb of the Barsen'thor: "learning the third and final of the combat styles practiced by the New Jedi Order." You provided another reference for learning the last two styles when you mentioned it in the Power and abilities section.
  • Under Battle at the Krabbis Inn: "As the Solos prepared to leave with the sick Jedi, Korr and Arelis agreed to stay behind and cover up the mess before the Galactic Alliance Security, claiming that the Solos were never there during the fight and lying that they did not know how the Mandalorian with the intact armor had died, in order to hide the fact that the psychotic Jedi possessed such powerful abilities." This sentence is too long and needs to be broken up.
  • Under Moral Compass: "Korr always strove to uphold his orders, and he was ashamed that he had disobeyed Hamner's instructions by letting the Solos pass into the Council chambers, but he expected the couple to find a way to gain entrance anyway, and he felt that the Council deserved to listen to what they had to say." This sentence is too long and could use to be broken up.
  • Under Telekinesis, Force speed and jump: "Throughout his lifetime, Korr may have also learned Force powers ranging from Force protection, Force healing, and Force absorb to Force drain, Force rage, and Force choke." I know these are possible powers that can be chosen in the game, but the way this is being included here is speculation. I would either reword this to be less speculative or move this information to the BTS.
    • I do not really see a way to word this in a way to both preserve the ambiguity and not make it sound speculative. Moved that part to the Bts. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:42, October 22, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Dark side powers: "However, after reaching the end of his vision quest, Korr accepted what his Master had been trying to tell him all along, and he knew that he would never fall to the dark side as he knew it too well, feeling secure that he would now always have control of his powers and would never subconsciously summon lightning from his fingers." This sentence is a little long and rambling. Could you break it up / restructure it?
    • Split up into several sentences. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:42, October 22, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Lightsaber mastery: "Korr was highly skilled with a lightsaber, echoing his master's swordsmanship. At first, he utilized the medium style but eventually mastered both the fast and strong styles." I think reference 40 is all that is needed to source the last part about the styles. Could you move reference 5 to just source the first sentence?
  • Under A Skillful Combatant: You have most of this section sourced to both the game and the strategy guide. If there are specific portions that need to be sourced to the guide, can you source those specific parts to the guide and source the rest to the game?
  • There is an "Exceptional Jedi Apprentice" in Jedi Academy (Star Wars Miniatures) that has a similar appearance to Jaden Korr. The piece gives him a yellow double-bladed lightsaber, which is kind of inconsistent. (It was a fairly common practice in the miniature game to have pieces that resembled characters that were named elsewhere.) Could you give a brief reference to think in the BTS?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 17:58, October 20, 2018 (UTC)
    • Added it into the "Ambiguous information" section. Seems like it fits best there. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:59, October 23, 2018 (UTC)
Wave 3
  • Does Riptide refer to Coruscant as the galactic capital?
    • No, it doesn't. Ref note added. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:31, November 17, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Purchasing a Flare-S swoop to make his way to the outpost" Does the source refer to it as a Flare-S swoop?
  • "Korr's subsequent portrayal in Crosscurrent and Riptide reaffirmed the description outlined in Abyss, explicitly stating that Korr was a Human and expanding on more details of his appearance, such as the goatee that Korr wore as of 41 ABY, which Kemp wrote in as a homage to Katarn, signifying the fact that Korr leaned heavily on his Master's teachings during his crisis of faith." This sentence could use to be reworded / broken up.
  • "The other customizable feature in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy is the possibility to choose the hilt variation and the blade color of Korr's lightsaber at the beginning of the game and the option to build a new saber, two new lightsabers or a double-bladed one after the mission to Vjun, with in-game dialogue stating that Korr's first lightsaber was destroyed on Vjun." This sentence could use to be reworded / broken up.
  • "In Crosscurrent, the clone Alpha casts a "knowing look" at Korr and calls him "one of us," referring to the Community of clones, and the early chapters of Riptide feature a scene set on the Sith world of Korriban, in which Sith Lord Darth Wyyrlok and the Umbaran Nyss Nenn see a recording of Korr's fight with Alpha on the frozen moon." This sentence could use to be restructured / broken up.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:39, November 10, 2018 (UTC)
    • Addressed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:31, November 17, 2018 (UTC)
      • It has become known to me that the INQ have somewhat refined their stance on "special refs" used to source starship classes. It seems like in many cases, those refs are no longer needed, as those classes fall under the duck test clause. Personally, I do agree with this line of thinking; I'd always thought that's how it should work. EJ, I'd like to ask you to take a look at your previous objections regarding those issues and tell me whether you think those refs I added are still necessary. I'm always open to an IRC discussion if we'll have conflicting opinions on the matter. Thank you, QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:48, February 20, 2019 (UTC)
  • With the above comment, I think that the following can probably use the duck test:
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:44, April 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • T-65 X-wing starfighter
    • Dreadnaught-class heavy cruiser
    • Flare-S Swoop
  • I think the others probably need the references because they aren't as easy to duck test.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:16, March 15, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
Toprawa
  • Reference 45 is broken.
    • Removed. That was a leftover from EJ's objections, one of the refs that we'd agreed upon being unnecessary. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:10, April 19, 2019 (UTC)
  • Please format SW.com DB entry names correctly in the Sources list. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:39, April 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • Not mandatory, of course, but audio files would be nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:50, April 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm trying to understand the meaning of what is in the infobox death field. He died on/in this Mother thing? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • If Essential Reader's Companion states explicitly that Jaden Korr dies aboard Mother in 41 ABY and that his consciousness is transferred into the Iteration clone body, which it certainly appears to, the manual ref note in reference 2 is unnecessary. You can just source that straight to ERC without further elaboration. And it would appear you can then use that same reference for everything in the infobox's species field. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:08, May 10, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

The Barsen'thor

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:57, March 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Because I don't like leaving things unfinished.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

Added it to Wookieepedia:WookieeProject The Old Republic's FAN section. Good work. Fan26 (Talk) 18:46, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  1. Fan26 (Talk) 16:18, December 1, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • No clue how this made it almost seven months without any objections or support votes. But I digress. At the bottom of the page, under I believe either "Skills and Abilities" or "Personality and traits", the following appears: "In addition to speaking Galactic Basic Standard, the Barsen'thor was versed in many languages of the galaxy. He could understand Dosh,[2] Gand,[23] Binary,[30] Nikto[37] Jawaese,[42] Shyriiwook,[51] Sullustese, Selkath,[59] Rakata[75] Esh-kha[77] and Mandaba.[89] In addition, the Barsen'thor was a skilled pilot, successfully performing many flight missions for the Coruscant Aegis under the callsign "Guardian."[4]" Does the instance of him speaking Sullestese and Selkath occur in the same scenario, therefore both are sourced to ref 59? Fan26 (Talk) 02:16, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • Correct, those two languages are featured in the same mission, hence why they are grouped under a single ref. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:19, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Around that time, a sickness known as the Dark Plague struck the Jedi Order once again, driving Jedi Masters across the galaxy insane" This might just be my feeling, but the way the sentence is phrased is like the Dark Plague was mentioned elsewhere in the article, though this is the first mention of it. Would you consider revising the sentence?
  • "The Jedi Master was still missing five years later when an alliance of various factions was formed against the Eternal Empire." Do you think the word "against" should link to Revolt against the Eternal Empire? Fan26 (Talk) 14:23, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • " The Children were unwitting deep-cover agents of the Empire who shared a Force connection with the leader of the Empire, the allegedly immortal Sith Emperor Vitiate himself. " I think "unwitting" should actually be "unwilling".
    • Unwitting: adj. Not knowing; unaware: an unwitting subject in an experiment. I think it better describes their position, don't you think? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:35, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
      • Good point.
  • In the "Disappearance and Death" section, the tomb's caption reads "Barsen'thor's tomb on Chandrila". I think "The" should be added to the beginning of it, since it's a title and not a name. Fan26 (Talk) 14:51, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • Added. If you see such minor mistakes, you are more than welcome to fix them yourself. You don't have to ask the nominator's permission every time :) QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:35, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • That's good to know, thank you. Those were the last things I saw.Fan26 (Talk) 18:46, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • I realized that since the character was confirmed to be male, we know which voice it canonically has. Would it be possible to get audio for the quotes where 'he' speaks? Fan26 (Talk) 16:46, November 29, 2018 (UTC)
    • I'll see what I can do, though having audio files is not a requirement for status articles, merely a recommendation. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:12, November 30, 2018 (UTC)
      • I'm aware, it was just an afterthought. I'm going ahead and striking this-no reason to hold up the nom with this one thing. Fan26 (Talk) 16:17, December 1, 2018 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • The LG places {{otheruses}} above any header templates.
  • I understand you want to avoid repetition and vary between usages of Barsen'thor/the Jedi/the Consular, but it gets somewhat confusing in some parts of the intro as I'm not 100% sure to what something is referring. Example: "Learning an ancient Force ability called the shielding technique from the Noetikon devices, the Jedi traveled from planet to planet, using the technique to sever the sick Jedi Masters from the influence of Lord Vivicar, the Sith mastermind behind the plague." Seeing as you talk about Jedi Masters in the previous sentence, it's not inconceivable that "the Jedi traveled" refers to the Masters rather Barsen'thor.
    • Made some adjustments. Please take another look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:27, October 8, 2018 (UTC)
  • "the Barsen'thor participated in the fight against the Children of the Emperor." Is there/should there be an article for this particular fight/crisis/whatever?
  • "The Children were unwitting deep-cover agents of the Empire who shared a Force connection with the leader of the Empire, the allegedly immortal Sith Emperor Vitiate himself. The Children had infiltrated deep within the ranks of the Republic, their presence masked by the power of the mysterious First Son." I feel like dedicating two whole sentences to context is a bit excessive when it comes to the intro. See if you could condense this a bit. 1358 (Talk) 21:36, October 7, 2018 (UTC)
  • I made some further tweaks in the intro, particularly trimming some context I found excessive. Please have a look and see if that's okay.
  • "During the Battle of Corellia, the Consular discovered that the First Son was in fact a sleeper persona implanted inside Jedi Master Syo Bakarn" I feel like it's a bit misleading to link Sleep/Legends here, as sleeper agents don't really have anything to do with the act of sleeping.
    • I might have gotten a little carried away while trying to improve overall linking in the article. Removed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:54, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Seeing as we know the exact dates for the resurgence of the Sith Empire and the Cold War, I think it'd be a good idea to put these in the early bio to establish some sort of timeframe for the reader.
  • Before I start with the rest of the bio, please keep the location of {{Main}} consistent. Right now it's below the quote template in some places and above in others. I don't think we have any policy on this, but personally I think it looks better placed above the quote template (think of it as a header template of sorts). 1358 (Talk) 19:13, October 9, 2018 (UTC)
  • Arrival: The paragraph that starts with "Par told the apprentice the information..." barely mentions the Barsen'thor and it feels like it's too much context. See if you can trim it some. 1358 (Talk) 17:59, December 8, 2018 (UTC)
    • Reworded to focus a bit more on the Barsen'thor. I don't think that the context in this paragraph can be completely cut, though. It's all kinda necessary, IMO. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:54, December 15, 2018 (UTC)
  • Defending the Forge: "the Consular deeply concentrated and used the machine to create a working lightsaber. Upon creating the lightsaber, he barely had time to test it before Raloch appeared" This feels a bit redundant, with the double mention of the lightsaber creation in close succession. 1358 (Talk) 19:47, April 26, 2019 (UTC)
  • Into the Black Sun's den: "Black Sun, a local criminal gang, had turned the cantina's back rooms into some sort of secret warehouse." This sentence is purely context and as such it feels a bit disconnected to the rest of the prose. See if you can integrate it better somehow.
    • Done.
  • Into the Black Sun's den: "wherein they met a Human Doctor called Maer." Why are we capitalizing "doctor" here? It's fine in the next sentence if the source material calls him "the Doctor", but in this sentence, I see no reason to capitalize it.
    • No, the source material does not specifically call him the Doctor, so I've decapitalized it.
  • Into the Black Sun's den: The paragraph that starts with "According to one of the patients" doesn't mention the subject of this article once. Please cut down on the excessive context. 1358 (Talk) 11:18, July 19, 2019 (UTC)
    • Cut down on some of the extraneous details. Please take a look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:21, July 27, 2019 (UTC)
      • It still feels a bit excessive, to be honest. You have three consecutive sentences that are purely context. See if you can cut down even more and maybe merge the paragraph with the following one.
  • Learning the ritual: "The sickness had been encountered by the Jedi Order before only once." This sentence feels a bit abrupt and detached, see if you can somehow integrate it better with the rest of the paragraph; maybe merge it with the next sentence, which also has just one clause.
  • Learning the ritual: Before I go ahead and finish reviewing this section (and article), please go through it and cut down on some of the excessive context. In the first paragraph of this section, you have eight consecutive sentences before the article subject is mentioned once. This is a recurring issue in the article (as evidenced by my review), so you might want to go through the entire thing and see if you can trim excessive context. 1358 (Talk) 20:52, August 9, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've trimmed the unnecessary details throughout the bio. Everything left is necessary context, IMO, so I'd like to approach the rest on a case-by-case basis if you feel there are still extraneous info. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:17, August 18, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
  • Would it be possible to obtain more images? Some of the sections and subsections can look pretty intimidating for the reader. If further subsectioning is possible, that would help, too. Imperators II(Talk) 12:35, May 18, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've done some splitting of some of the larger sections, while adding a few images here and there. Please take another look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:39, May 30, 2019 (UTC)
  • Is it not possible to utilize {{TORcite}} in refs 105 and 107, as well? Imperators II(Talk) 10:53, June 1, 2019 (UTC)
  • Ref 13: You're using the ref to source the date 3643 BBY for the Jedi Consular class, but the ref itself actually only dates the Jedi Knight, Smuggler, and Trooper classes to that year. Either the reference should be expanded to a manual ref note, or perhaps the dating template itself needs to be amended. And I'm not seeing why ref 13 is used upon its second instance in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 14:29, June 12, 2019 (UTC)
    • Took me a while to figure out how to tackle this, but I think I've figured out a way to reword/expand this. Hopefully, it's not too convoluted. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:58, June 19, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

  • Issues from the previous nomination have been addressed. Paragraph size has been significantly reduced, and some long sections have been split up. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:57, March 13, 2018 (UTC)


Zsinj (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ 102 due to large changes.
  • Date added: May 5, 2019

(+1)

Support

  1. Inqvote Impatiently waiting for Zsinj: A Star Wars Story. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:22, September 2, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • There are some fairly large paragraphs that should be broken up. The first paragraph in the intro and the second paragraph in Zsinj's rank and uniform especially stand out.
    • This is a purely subjective criticism, and I don't see a problem with the way it is now, so honestly, at this point I really wish people who want the paragraphs broken up would just break them up themselves. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • It has been brought to my attention that my effort to suppress my natural tendency toward assholery has been inadequate, but I wanted to take some time to think before I attempted to clarify this. First, you may note that at the same time I posted this, I also posted below noting that a redux review was a good idea. I appreciate the leniency I have been granted and the opportunity to improve my work. However, this objection has been the most frustrating one for me because I honestly see no issue with the layout of the article as it stands. As far as I can see, it looks fine in both the full version and in FANDOM's annoying little javascript preview window, and I feel that splitting up the paragraphs any further would just be an effort to cater to the short attentions spans of users who belong on one of FANDOM's other fine sites and not Wookieepedia. My previous message was literally an invitation to other users to collaborate on this objection, and I apologize if my tone caused it to be taken differently. I have no {{inuse}} tag on this article, and Inquisitors have advocated the {{sofixit}} rule in the past, so this seemed like a logical idea. However, if this is unacceptable, then I ask that you please list all the paragraphs with which you take issue so I may implement the mutilation of the article in one fell swoop and not prolong the agony. Thank you. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 13:33, May 12, 2019 (UTC)
  • You mention all of the equipment from Cracken's Threat Dossier, but there are other items listed in Rebellion Era Sourcebook that are not mentioned.
  • There appear to be some relevant skills in Zsinj's entry from Cracken's Threat Dossier that are not referenced in the article.
    • Added everything that seems relevant that hasn't already been touched on somehow. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:26, May 25, 2019 (UTC)
  • Cracken's Threat Dossier mentions that he cannot lie convincingly despite years of practice. This should be in the P&T.
    • I'm going to have to finesse this one a bit, since his appearances in the Wraith Squadron books are nothing but lying. 😐 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • Are there any quotes that can be added to the BTS? I see that there is an archived page where Allston discusses his novels.
  • Looking at Allston's FAQ, it looks like some information could probably be added to the BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 03:16, May 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • I'm not entirely sure how to address these two. The FAQ is mostly about the books and the writing. I may have to wedge a whole nother section into my BTS. 😐 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:26, May 25, 2019 (UTC)
    • Actually, I'm going to have to request some clarification here. This objection is kind of vague, and I'm not sure exactly what you expect me to add. I don't really know how much of Allston's FAQ really applies directly to Zsinj's biography. BTS sections are very much not my forte, so I would appreciate some guidance as to what you think is appropriate. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:00, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
      • The section about Zsinj being defeated by Solo under Iron Fist has the author speaking about Zsinj's tactics and the inspiration for that battle. I think that is worthy of being included in the article BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:42, June 1, 2019 (UTC)
        • Alright, well, as much as I hate BTS sections, I think I managed to squeeze a few good bits in. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:56, June 13, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
Tommy
  • Duplicate links.
    • The only duplicate link now remaining according to the standard dupe checker is a pipelink in the BTS that I think is needed to add some detail without excess verbosity. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
      • Honestly I would prefer a couple more words to give context than a duplicate link. WP:MOS#Linking is pretty abiding. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 15:33, June 30, 2019 (UTC)
        • Fair enough. Last dupe link nuked. Although I could get into a semantic argument about the use of the word "should" in the MOS, but it's just easier to make the change. 😁 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:34, July 1, 2019 (UTC)
  • If multiple references are used, they should be arranged in ascending order.
    • Refs are all now sorted in the order first used in the article. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
  • Images with spaces in their names should use underscores instead.
  • Some images are missing size specifiers.
  • I'm going to object to the use of "<!-- information -->" in the sources list. They detract from the formal nature of the article, even in the editing screen, and should only be used when necessary, like to draw attention to a common misconception. These notes on sources aren't necessary, and would be much more befitting on a personal workbench. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:23, June 27, 2019 (UTC)
    • That's fine, they'll be in the history if I need them. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
  • The audiobook adaptations of the novels in the Appearances should be checked and added to the list if necessary. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 05:29, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
    • Can you clarify this objection? Unless you know of a specific discrepancy, I think we should assume that the audiobooks are identical to the text. We don't even have separate articles for the audiobooks of the X-wing series, which is true for the VAST majority of books. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:11, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
      • I have taken care of the audiobooks myself, please feel free to change anything I have added. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:16, July 25, 2019 (UTC)
  • I think the article could use some more mentions of BBY/ABY dates for its events. The dates in the infobox, in particular, are kinda infobox-exclusive.
    • Added birth and death dates, working on adding other dates. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 20:49, August 4, 2019 (UTC)
    • Alright, I added a date reference for every unambiguous, verifiable year change during his life, plus a few more in the aftermath. Anything else would be gratuitous, I think. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 14:34, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm okay if you feel there is no proper room for it, but I think this image depicting the borders of Zsinj's Empire could be useful somewhere in the article body. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 07:47, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
    • I think it works. Slid it in right before his downfall, and put the Dathomir picture in a more logical place. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 21:01, August 4, 2019 (UTC)
  • The article is inconsistent about the use of dash in "nonhuman/non-human." Please revise.
  • Isn't Gamma-9104, the enhanced Gamorrean individual, notable enough to have its own article? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 08:28, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
  • The article is inconsistent about the capitalization of Nightcloak. Please revise.
    • Sources are inconsistent on this. Courtship starts lowercase, then we go to uppercase in Fact Files, then back to lowercase in CSWE, then back to uppercase in the Imperial Handbook (I didn't check ALL the sources, but I assume there's a similar level of inconsistency throughout). So I'm just going to go with the latest word on it and capitalize. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the first and third paragraphs of BTS, can the release dates (months, to be specific) be sourced directly to the novels?
    • For the novels, yes. Each one has something along the lines of "A Bantam Spectra Book / February 1998" on the copyright page. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • Same question for Cracken's Threat Dossier and The Official Star Wars Fact File 83.
    • I actually can't figure out WHERE we got the dates for these, but I'm going to take some time to hunt them down before I rework my BTS for the umpteenth time. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • Mmkay, nailed down CTD to about the most official possible source, which was a pain since checking that source is like consulting a Ouija board, but I got it. Still working on the Fact File. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:05, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • Finally figured out where the date came from. 2015 Wookieepedia was a savage and lawless place. But I made it work. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 22:23, August 24, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the fourth BTS paragraph, I don't think Allston's death in 2014 can be sourced to that FAQ.
    • Sourced the death date to a source just one step removed from the coroner himself. 😁 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:05, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
      • Never thought we would use a funeral home page on the Wook. :D TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 14:11, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • Also about that FAQ, its {{Cite_web}} suggests that it was released in 2013; however, there are 2012 captures of the page on Wayback Machine.
    • I was going by the "last updated" date at the bottom of the page on the final archived version. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • (Not an objection) Maybe that's just my personal opinion, but I'm not a huge fan of Wikipedia links in in-universe sections of articles. If it was up to me, I'd just remove the Wikipedia link for handlebar moustache in that image caption, but I am leaving that up to you.
    • I know I don't often like to make concessions to user-friendliness, but since Wookieepedia is not a dictionary and I have no idea how prevalent this term is outside of North America, I feel this is justified, just this once. Though I did move the link into the article body, which I should have done long ago. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Project Funeral was an ambitious endeavor." "Zsinj's plan for recovery was fairly simple." "The Battle of Selaggis was not a long one." "In Solo's characteristic fashion, he resigned his commission, kidnapped Leia, and took her to his planet." There are several sentences in the article, such as these, that kinda feel like you are slightly presenting events from your own point of view. Of course, I can't be certain without reading at least large portions of the novels, so I'll just take your word for it. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:17, August 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • Before anyone thinks I've forgotten about this, I was only informed that this was actually an objection even though it wasn't really worded like one ("I'll just take your word for it") on the 24th. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to work on it yet due to being laid up with a rather unpleasant medical issue. I'll get to it as soon as I regain the mental capacity to edit my own writing and am physically able to reliably feel my fingers, and I humbly request the Inquisitorius grant a stay of execution in the interim. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:34, August 29, 2019 (UTC)
    • Okay, I'm going to address some of these with rebuttals, so I apologize in advance if I seem a bit ornery.
      1. "Project Funeral was an ambitious endeavor." Per CSWE, "Project Funeral One of Warlord Zsinj's most ambitious actions against the New Republic." Ref added.
      2. "Zsinj's plan for recovery was fairly simple." -- No argument here. This one was actually better off reworked anyway. 😛
      3. "The Battle of Selaggis was not a long one." Per The Essential Reader's Companion, "The Iron Fist’s hyperdrive is ruined by Gara, momentarily stranding the ship in the Selaggis system." (emphasis mine) -- Reference added.
      4. "In Solo's characteristic fashion, he resigned his commission, kidnapped Leia, and took her to his planet." The Essential Reader's Companion says "In true Corellian scoundrel fashion, he ventures into the seamy underworld of Coruscant and enters into a high-stakes sabacc game, emerging as the winner of an obscure planet, Dathomir. He then kidnaps Leia and takes her to this world, all in a desperate effort to impress upon her how important she is to him." Additionally, Cracken's Threat Dossier references "Solo's rather 'unorthodox' methods of problem-solving" shortly before describing the kidnapping, though it doesn't apply the descriptor as directly to the kidnapping itself as the ERC does. My point, though, is that it's hardly news that Han Solo is a swashbuckling pirate, so it shouldn't be considered a matter of opinion to describe him as such.
    • Please let me know if there are any other instances of excessively florid language that need adjustment. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:24, September 2, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

  • So Redux is still a thing? Probably a good idea. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)

Bray (stormtrooper)

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Tommy
  • Images should be digital.
  • Duplicate link.
  • When linking to image files, use underscores not spaces.
  • Please clean up your grammar. "meaning that Bray was fine with bring them into danger", "to try to get information out of only survivor" for example.
    • Did I fix those two examples?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:55, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
      • Yes, but I still think the general grammar of this article is subpar, which violates FAN rule 1. I encourage your to reread the article and improve the general flow of text. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:21, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • You also have a lot of repetitive wording throughout that should be cleared up: "what he had done to warrant the job, and he responded that he had set his captain on fire, which she said was enough to warrant the job."
  • I personally think you overuse in-paragraph quotes. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 07:54, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • I removed all but the one at the start of "Reassigning FN-2187" and kept infestation in quotes (as that is to how it isn't really an infestation)--Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:17, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
      • No you haven't. You removed one. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:51, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • You should make an imagecat. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:38, August 7, 2019 (UTC)
Fan
  • "During the cold war, when it was believed one of the tunnels on the First Order superweapon Starkiller Base was infested, Bray served as the commanding officer of the cleaning crew deployed to remove the creatures." I think this sentence could be reworded a little. Keep the first clause, with the cold war timeframe, then introduce him as the C.O. of the cleaning crew, and finish with the explanation of where they were and what was going on. Let me know if you'd like it to be clearer. Fan26 (Talk) 16:21, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the second sentence of the Personality and Traits, you use the same reference twice. Fan26 (Talk) 16:36, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • You need to link Phasma in the intro. Fan26 (Talk) 18:33, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • There are a lot of instances where I think using different words or phrases or changing the overall way a sentence is written could improve how the article reads. I'm breaking it down by section. Fan26 (Talk) 18:33, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • Scratch that, it'll be simpler if I just take all of my objections by section through this. Fan26 (Talk) 12:36, August 7, 2019 (UTC)
Intro
  • "To help clean out the creatures, Captain Phasma also assigned FN-2187 and FN-3761 to serve in the crew." You can shorten this by just saying that the team included the two troopers. Fan26 (Talk) 18:33, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • I'd have to remove Phasma from the intro then.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:50, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
      • Is it good now?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 19:09, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
        • Yes, that was my mistake, apologies. You wouldn't have needed to link to Phasma. Actually, I think now you should do away with this sentence all together and try putting the info in the last sentence like this "a cleaning crew, which included the stormtroopers 'Finn' and 'other trooper'. They don't need a whole sentence in the intro. Fan26 (Talk) 12:36, August 7, 2019 (UTC)
          • Better? I’ve also responded to your other criticisms.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 14:33, August 7, 2019 (UTC)
            • Yes, much better. Apologies for the delay, was busy and only able to get to this one objection and some CAN stuff. Fan26 (Talk) 17:23, August 8, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Upon their arrival, Bray explained to the FN-2187 that the First Order was not certain of what they would be facing, but the operation continued on." I haven't read the comic, but it feels like this is just adapted from the dialogue. I'd suggest that change it so it starts with Bray informing Finn that they don't know what's down there (changing the wording from "the First Order was not certain of what they would be facing"). If he actually says something like "The operation must go on regardless.", you can leave a reworded version of the last part of the sentence. If not, remove it entirely. Fan26 (Talk) 18:33, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Once they were inside the tunnel, Bray and his crew were attacked by the creatures, and he was overwhelmed." I'd suggest changing it to just "the crew was" and swap "he" for "Bray". Fan26 (Talk) 18:37, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • "However, FN-2187 used the Captain's flamethrower to kill the animals attacking him, although he burned Bray in the process" You can remove 'However'. I'd change 'although he' to 'accidentally'. Fan26 (Talk) 18:41, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • Wasn't really an accident. He knew Bray would be burned, but did it because Bray had his armor. I've edited it a bit though.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:50, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
      • Hmm, I guess that works. Might revist that in the future, but at the moment I think it looks okay. Fan26 (Talk) 17:23, August 8, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Bray ordered FN-2187 to clean up the remains of the creatures, which the stormtrooper assumed was because he had set the officer on fire, but Bray perceived FN-2187's comment to mean that he thought the assignment was beneath him." Finn's perspective doesn't need to be in the intro, just the body. The third part of the sentence makes no sense. What comment? Please rewrite that part to be clearer after Finn's perspective of the event is removed. Fan26 (Talk) 18:41, August 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Later, while he was cleaning up, FN-2187 discovered that the creatures were not an infestation and instead were a native species. To save some of the animals, FN-2187 purposely angered Bray, so that way he would be punished and assigned as a guard for trash heading to the Garbage Moon of Maher. Once at the moon, FN-2187 was able to release some the creatures to safety." This is too much focus on something that's not the article subject, especially in the intro. Please rewrite this part so it starts with Bray being angered by Finn, then give Finn's motivation, and then briefly mention that Finn succeeded, preferably in less than three sentences. Fan26 (Talk) 17:44, August 8, 2019 (UTC)
    • Done--Editoronthewiki (talk) 23:19, August 10, 2019 (UTC)
      • You've corrected the issue and this now focuses on Bray instead of Finn, but it needs to be reworded so it flows better. Fan26 (Talk) 19:13, August 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • "after a blockage of creatures attacked personnel in one of the tunnels on Starkiller Base," Do the creatures number so many that they physically block the tunnel? I'm guessing not - unless the comic refers to them this way, it should probably be switched with 'group' or one of its synonyms. Fan26 (Talk) 23:15, September 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • If Bray's cleaning crew is a thing, it should be in the infobox. Fan26 (Talk) 20:26, September 29, 2019 (UTC)
    • done--Editoronthewiki (talk) 20:32, September 29, 2019 (UTC)
      • While, to my knowledge, the crew was composed entirely of stormtroopers, I don't think it's specifically organized under the F.O. trooper corps. Both can exist as sub-bullet points in the infobox. Fan26 (Talk) 20:39, September 29, 2019 (UTC)
        • It was made up of stormtroopers, so I don't think the corps needs to be stated.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 20:44, September 29, 2019 (UTC)
Zed
  • Reading over the article, I noticed a lot of variations upon "[character] said/asked". Simply repeating dialogue is generally seen as being "play-by-play", which has been objected to before. Try rewording those instances to focus more on the actions involve rather than the dialogue.
    • Kind of a matter of context? A lot of what Bray does is talking, so it kind of has to be worded like that at some points. For example, the Slick page, which was a featured article but lost that status for different reasons, recounts dialogue in the last paragraph of the "Capture" section.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 22:37, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
      • Even if most of his actions are talking, they can be worded in a way which doesn't just repeat comic dialogue. For example, the sentence "FN-2187 asked if this job was because he had been hit by the flames, but Bray instead asked the stormtrooper if he felt like he was above the job." has "asked" twice and could be worded differently. Zed42 (talk) 19:23, September 22, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the BTS, you need to specify the comic's illustrator, not just the writer. This is currently a redlink, so it will need to be created. Zed42 (talk) 01:44, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
Anil

Comments

  • Does anyone know if "the Captain believed FN-2187 thought himself to be above the assignment" is proper grammar?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:23, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • I believe it's technically proper, yes, but it's one of many instances where some rewording is needed so it makes more sense and reads better. Fan26 (Talk) 17:25, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
      • Full sentence: "When it seemed like their mission was complete, Bray ordered FN-2187 to clean up the creature's remains, and, when Bray believed the trooper thought himself above the assignment, told FN-2187 that no one was above a task that served the First Order." How does this look?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:33, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
        • Hmm, I recommend you look at what Zed said about play-by-plays. Fan26 (Talk) 18:13, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
          • It's kind of like how we recount what Slick said to skywalker and Kenobi in his article. I guess you need to recount dialogue to explain that moment.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 19:30, September 8, 2019 (UTC)
          • Well, I still think the point comparing this page to Slick could work for the article, but this bit has been changed slightly.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 20:55, September 12, 2019 (UTC)
  • I had not done the “purge article” function when I nominated this page. If I need to remove the nomination because of that, okay. If don’t need to remove it, I can do purge it soon.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:30, September 14, 2019 (UTC)
    • Don't worry, you don't have to do anything. Everything is fine now. "Purging" an article means only "clearing cache," and that doesn't mess with the nomination itself. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 19:43, September 14, 2019 (UTC)
  • Warning for Editoronthewiki: You can't strike anyone's objection even if you think you have handled it. Please keep this in mind in the future. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 12:18, September 18, 2019 (UTC)


Unidentified Royal Guard (Onderon)

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:07, August 21, 2019 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Hello friends

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Nice work. Imperators II(Talk) 15:30, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 15:05, October 8, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • Should it be specified that Kanos was speaking of the guardsman in the intro quote? I would think so, but since it's not there already, and additionally it's fairly obvious who Kanos is speaking of, I'm not sure. Fan26 (Talk) 15:00, September 5, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've added the clarification, just in case. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:49, September 6, 2019 (UTC)
  • Are there no images of the Royal Guards in the Dark Empire finale? Fan26 (Talk) 15:50, September 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • You mean Empire's End 2: Rage of the Emperor? There is an image available, but I'm hesitant to add it for two reasons: 1) The panel is a bird's eye-view shot of Luke and Rayf battling the Royal Guards, and all four combatants are tiny specks barely visible in the full image, let alone in a thumbnail. 2) I honestly think that there are enough images in the article as it is. The only place where this image would fit is the Bts, and even then its relevance to that section would be kind of iffy. I mean, if you think that it's still a good idea to add that image, sure, I'll upload it. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:26, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
      • If the image is that bad, it makes sense not to add it. Fan26 (Talk) 18:54, September 7, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
  • Would it be appropriate to pipelink "loyalist" to Crimson Empire (Galactic Empire)? Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • The quote from the audio drama is missing punctuation. Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • The quote in the "Learning the truth" section misspells "Emperor." Is that your typo or the source's? Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • The fact that Anakin is Force-sensitive is intro-exclusive. Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'd also like for you to work in the link to the Battle of Onderon somewhere in the article's body, as that's also currently intro-exclusive. Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) I've removed the link to Agent/Legends, because that describes a specific rank in organizations as opposed to just individuals acting on behalf of someone else. I guess the latter meaning was intended in the article, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Imperators II(Talk) 08:09, October 3, 2019 (UTC)
    • Yes, that was the intended meaning here. Fair point. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:31, October 3, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

  • I based my capitalization choices of the word "Guardsman" on this. If you think it should be lowercase, I can change it. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:07, August 21, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'll try to get the audio file for the Bts quote soon. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:07, August 21, 2019 (UTC)



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