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This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.

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Contents

Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Onager-class Star Destroyer

  • Nominated by:--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:25, March 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Giving featured article nominations another try!
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:FFG, WP:AMB

(2 Inqs/5 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Great job on fixing up the article! —Tomotron Revanchist Sith.svg (Star Forge) 01:02, March 10, 2020 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 14:45, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  3. A fine read. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:09, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Mr Star Wars Amino Republic talk 6:30 May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote.png Nice work! Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:49, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote.png MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 20:35, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
  7. Love the detailed description of the ship ~ Loqiical (talk) 00:15, 18 July 2021 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Well done for the most part, however, you have some issues:
  • "Navigation computer" seems to be infobox-exclusive.
  • Battle of Endor should be given a date in the intro
  • "During the Galactic Civil War, there were several examples of this class. Several ships were the Cataclysm, the Rakehell, the Sunder, and the Onager-class Testbed." This can be merged into one sentence to use the named ships as the examples specified in the first sentence.
  • "Beyond the end of the indentation but before the command tower structure were two deflector shield generator domes similar to those[3] found in Imperial-class Star Destroyers,[6] as well as several other deflector shield generators." I don't think you should use Rogue One as a source if it doesn't mention the deflector shield generator. I would suggest replacing the reference with the Blueprints from Card Trader (See the exact card used in the status articles Formidable and Adjudicator).
    • Thanks! Fixed!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ok so for this, you'll need to make two separate references. For stuff like "solar ionization reactor" or "deflector shield," follow Rakehell, Sunder, and Cataclysm as examples. You don't need two separate references for that info. Secondly, the reference for the ISD should be the card directly, as you've currently used the same reference for both. Shayanomer (talk) 06:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Second paragraph of the History section is missing a reference at the end.
  • Do the sources make the connection between the Mandator IV and the Onager? If they don't, then I don't think you can say the former functioned similarly to the latter. What you could say is that the concept of orbital bombardment weaponry aboard a Star Destroyer was implemented into the Mandator IV. Shayanomer (talk) 04:02, March 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Galactic Civil War should be given dates. Shayanomer (talk) 04:07, March 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Article needs to list all cards within the Expansion Pack that feature or mention the Onager instead of just linking the whole set like that. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 01:25, 29 November 2020 (UTC)
  • Sources need to be listed chronologically, and a 1stID next to the source that identifies the ship by its full name.
  • The article says "Imperial Siege Breaker" while BTS and the Sources section say "Siege Breaker." Please correct this. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:17, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
  • "Sometime between the years[2] 5 and 0 BBY[10] during the early rebellion against the Galactic Empire..." Since we determined that the Civil War starts by 4 BBY, I think you should just remove the "early rebellion" bit. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
  • You will now have to list the Onager cards rereleased in Upgrade Card Collection. These are different from the original cards so you need to list them separately. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:01, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The size of the article warrants a larger intro than just one paragraph. Also, please fix the italicization formatting of this nomination. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:13, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Expanded intro. I fixed italicization of the title of the nomination, is there anything else?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:35, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • You've got a few duplicate links.
  • Please fix image caption formatting. Remember that only full sentences get a period at the end.
    • I changed image captions, and I think I fixed the formatting--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Each ref note should have all available subjects linked to.
  • Can you reformat ref 4 to make it less cumbersome? It's really hard to understand what it's trying to get across at the moment. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:43, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • There are instances of info sourced to two consecutive references. Those should be avoided unless absolutely necessary. And if they are necessary, then consecutive ref notes should always be arranged in ascending order. There are some refs that do not follow this rule. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 15:36, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
  • Haxen Delto and Airen Cracken shouldn't be linked in the quote template.
  • The alternate names "Onager-class Destroyer and "Siege Breaker" are completely unnecessary. I see that when mentioned without -class, Onager isn't capitalised, but there's no point including it as an alternate title in the intro.
  • Same goes for the list of names in "General characteristics" section.
  • Some of the images could be enlarged.
  • "Despite the Rebel victory at Endor […]" Not sure about the capitalisation of "rebel" here. Is it capitalised in the source?
  • Starter sentence for the Legacy section should connect with the previous line about the GCW. The Empire's ultimate defeat there should be mentioned in place of "after the fall of the Galactic Empire."
  • I found some linking of individual words of proper compound nouns while skimming through the article. (e.g. Death Star) There's probably a few more in the article that needs removing. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 18:53, September 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thank you. I'll check through it and remove any more that I find--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
      • I can't find any more but I'll keep looking--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:52, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
        • Great. Striking so that the objection won't exceed the time limit. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • Not sure what this is about. Please reword with some formal language and without original research. "At one point during the Imperial Era, an Imperial moff ordered an Onager-class Star Destroyer to destroy a city from orbit, while in another moment an Alliance base was destroyed, though it was undetermined if the Empire had equipped a miniaturized Death Star superlaser on an Onager or if it was something else." - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • That is not original research, that's how it's worded in the source. I've slightly reworded to be more encyclopedic, but I'd appreciate it if you don't say that I'm using original research without checking first, thanks.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:48, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • Sorry for the assumption. Does the source mention who was undetermined as to whether the Onager used DS technology? Also, I don't understand what "a different circumstance" is referring to; that the Onager could have been equipped with some other technology? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 15:41, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • No worries! The source phrases the sentence as a question, so for that piece of information within the question I phrased it as being undetermined. Additionally, "a different circumstance" is the change I made to "something else" to make it more encyclopedic, since the source says "something else." The full statement is "Has the Empire successfully mounted a miniaturized Death Star superlaser on an Onager, or did something else destroyed the base?"--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:25, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • The Mustafar DB entry doesn't say the action at Mustafar marked the beginning of the GCW, only that it was "one of the earliest rebel victories" of the war. Please revise the article accordingly. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 15:41, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • The article body and intro states the alternative name is "Imperial Siege Breaker," while it's just "Siege Breaker" in bts.
    • It's because it was originally only identified as the Siege Breaker. Onager-class Star Destroyer and Imperial Siege Breaker originate from much later sources.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:33, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • Could the Onager's designation as a capital ship be included in the infobox? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 13:55, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Links should be provided in individuals references; when used in ref notes, they don't count as duplicate links.
  • (Reviewing note) Twitter citations don't need an image link if a backup link is already provided.
  • The Legacy section could use an additional image. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 11:47, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • The amount of text in the caption of the last image is a bit too much. Enlarging the image would help, but even then the text should be shortened. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 14:50, 29 November 2020 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • Can we try to divide these massive sections up? A section should ideally be between 1-3 paragraphs. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 04:26, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
  • To build off the last objection, with more sections, are there any more images or quotes that could be added? MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 05:14, 2 December 2020 (UTC)
    • There's no other quotes but there is an image, though I don't really want to use it since there's no high quality version. File:SunderFFG.png. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:58, 4 December 2020 (UTC)
      • That's fair. That image is definitely not suitable for a status article. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 03:55, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
  • {{Mediacat}} should be placed inside the reference scrollbox. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 03:58, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:09, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, it should go in "Sources," but since I misspoke, I went ahead and moved it. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 21:10, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there a reason you don't italicize "Onager" when on its own? MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 06:29, 25 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Starships and Speeders doesn't italicize, so I didn't either. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:02, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
  • You shouldn't start a new section with a pronoun when referring to the subject of the article.
  • "Toward," "forward," "backward," and similar words are preferred without the "s" at the end.
  • See here for an explanation on when to use "that" versus "which." You can see where I changed some in my copy-edit here, but that only covers the intro and first two sections. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 06:51, 25 January 2021 (UTC)
    • Seems like most of them were in the paragraphs you fixed. Done. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:06, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of "Role" is a run-on sentence.
  • "Considered an even greater threat" by who? MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 19:39, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
Tommy
  • To clarify, is the relationship between the Onager and the Mandator IV directly mentioned in sources? Or is that a link you've made?
    • I have spoken with Vitus, and he has allowed me to adopt the nomination. Alright, I have not found any established connection between the two ships, nor with the Xyston. I can ask Vitus if you'd like me to, though. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 18:35, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
      • I've spoken with Vitus, and the connection is established in the Rebel Files. It implies that the technology was used by the First Order. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 21:05, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Please refer to the MoS section on linking. Tommy-Macaroni 13:46, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
  • OK, so first of all I think we could get some more images in here, especially in the Characteristics section. With the upgrade card collection, we now have modestly good scans of artwork only available on Armada cards, so I think getting images of maybe the Orbital Bombardment Particle Cannons, Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers, and maybe the Sunder could be good to better illustrate the article, depending on how much room there is.
    • Added two images, though I don't have the Upgrade Card Collection or a scanner. The quality is iffy, but I noticed that you had the collection, so if the quality isn't as good I wanted to ask if you could maybe be able to get a good quality image? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
      • I don't have a scanner either; I originally pulled the Sunder scan from this video, which contains scans of the entire collection. Maybe try to use that to get better quality on the Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers image. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
  • I'm also wondering how relevant the last paragraph of the history section is. First off, the Onager isn't mentioned once in that paragraph, which suggests there is extraneous info. That fact you've inferred the link between the Onager and the Mandator is fine, but I'd recommend it be a passing mention, not an entire paragraph, which makes it seem like the link between the two ships is official. Tommy-Macaroni 09:35, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Okay, I kept the link between the Onager and Mandator with some more trimming and removed the other information. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Good stuff, though you now have a whole paragraph where the Onager isn't mentioned (Legacy, P1). I suggest having the following structure: Describe the excavation, the Resistance's acquisition, and the annotation of the Onager section. Then paragraph break. Then specifically describe those annotations, which will lead onto the Mandator IV mention at the end. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
  • The intro needs some work. The mention of the Xyston is currently intro exclusive, so that needs to be removed. I'd also advise removing the Mandator mention as well, since it only has a fleeting reference in the body, so that third paragraph can probably be cut down considerably. To bulk up the intro again, I'd recommend using some info from Description and Role, like the first paragraph of Secutor-class Star Destroyer. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
  • OK, sorry for the time it's taking to get back to you on these, but we should be nearly there. You currently introduce The Rebel Files twice in the History section, so you can remove the second one in Legacy. I'd recommend noting the burial of the files either in the Post-Battle of Endor or Legacy sections, so then you can dive straight into noting the excavation of it in Legacy. Tommy-Macaroni 21:09, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
    • No worries, done! --Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:55, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
      • I still can't see any information on the burial of the files. Tommy-Macaroni 20:11, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Oop, I did several edits but history only shows one. I think I accidentally closed and exited thinking I added all the info. It's added now in the Legacy section. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
  • "The bridge was situated inside the elevated command tower at the center of the ship toward the rear, and the bridge itself was located on a near-trapezoidal structure on top of the command tower." - Please rephrase this, you say the bridge is both inside and on top of the command tower.
  • I've noticed that often in your writing you use the same word twice in the same sentence, for example "The front of the ship was defined by two prongs that defined the bow". Please avoid this as it sounds quite unprofessional, if need be just search for word synonyms to replace one with.
  • "These weapons in the indentation of the vessel were longer than half of the ship." - This seems a little out of place since you've already discussed the physical characteristics of the weapons and are now discussing their application. Maybe move this a little earlier?
  • "[It] deployed its starfighters to defend its bow from critical strikes against enemy fighters." - shouldn't this read "from enemy fighters"? Strikes against enemy fighters would be strikes from the Onager itself.
  • Ref 9 will need some expansion, mentioning the part of the Rebel Files that info is mentioned in, like here.
    • Looks like there's an issue with this. The section is 14 AFE through 17 AFE, which would be 5 BBY to 2 BBY. However, this section covers events all the way up to the Battle of Yavin. Looking at the date of Chron One, that also covers the same time period. I have an earlier copy, so I'm not sure if this is limited to the first printing of books that had all the errors or if this has stayed consistent. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Looking at my copy, Chrons 1 and 2 are both 14-17 AFE too. I also have an earlier copy so I'd recommend asking around to see if anyone with later prints has it different. If not, then you'll still have to change that date note to explain where you got 14 AFE and 19 AFE from. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Okay, I'll go to the local bookstore soon and see if they have the updates Rebel Files, if not I'll go ahead and make a new ref note.
  • "as they both could cut through almost any material while fitting comfortably within a satchel" - this obviously isn't true for the Onager, is this some sarcastic comment from the Rebel Files? If so I'd recommend removing it.
    • It was a comparison made by someone in the Rebel Files, so yeah I'll remove it --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
  • I don't think ref 12 is necessary, you should just be able to source BFII and anything the Onager is pictured in directly.
    • I'm not clear on which ref this is exactly. Is it 12 or do you mean 11? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Sorry, forgot I removed a ref in my copy-edit. I mean the current ref 11. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
  • "The Siege Breaker was officially designated as the Onager-class Star Destroyer and was deployed by the Imperial Navy on various sensitive operations." - is this bit necessary? You've already mentioned the class' name many times, even in this section, as well as its role.
  • "An Onager-class once fired its Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers, while another shot its Orbital Bombardment Particle Cannons." - I also think this is far too unspecific for the history section; by describing these weapons earlier you've basically told the reader that they've been fired at least once. Tommy-Macaroni 20:11, 8 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • In reference to the Sunder image linked above, the card was recently released in Upgrade Card Collection in a larger size, meaning you can acquire a higher quality shot for the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:22, 12 December 2020 (UTC)
    • I'll add it when I'm able to have access to that card --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:10, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
  • I am taking a temporary personal leave from the site for the sake of my personal health and happiness, and I expect to return anywhere from one week to several weeks. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:42, 28 March 2021 (UTC)
  • I have returned :P --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:50, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Sorry if this is in the wrong spot (I'm not objecting to this article), but I think some info can be added to the BTS regarding how the Onager-class takes its name from the Latin/English word "onager" (the species of horse), as well as the Roman siege weapon with the same name (because this Star Destroyer has a siege weapon on it). Thanks. Loqiical (talk) 00:05, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Thanks, Loqiical! This type of information is not added to the articles, as far as I understand, however. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:18, 22 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Since it was recently added to the Secutor article, I don't think it's unreasonable to do the same here. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:33, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Although it's unorthodox and something that we don't include, I'll go ahead and add it since it doesn't hurt to include it --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:26, 27 July 2021 (UTC)


S-R6

  • Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 12:57, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: While writing the Trevura article, this guy just grew on me.
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. A very interesting read OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 16:52, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
  3. Cool stuff. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 15:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
  4. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:51, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote.png MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 07:01, 9 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • Could use some variation with the word "eventually"
    • Should be better now.
  • I'm assuming that the source doesn't say Essar escaped from Trevura, only that he escaped, so I think it's best that the article specifies that Essar escaped from his hideout. Otherwise, readers might think the intent was that Essar left the planet. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 08:13, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
Fan
Macaroni
  • Just one—"the streets of Trevura's city Voma" implies to me that Voma was the only city, which is unlikely. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 01:08, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
    • Granted, I'm not a native speaker, but that's certainly not how it sounds to me. Does "the Star Wars film A New Hope" make it sound to you like it's the only Star Wars film? Does "The H. G. Wells novel The War of the Worlds" make it sound to you like it's his only novel? Imperators II(Talk) 08:24, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
      • I think those two are different examples--for one, I already know Star Wars to be a series of multiple films. When you use "the" for the second example, I know you're referring to a specific novel, but "Trevura's city Voma" does not use "the" when referring to the city, which implies to me that there isn't a need to be specific, as that's the only one. Hopefully that makes sense. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 14:46, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
        • I suppose it doesn't, really, but I've opted to just reword the thing instead of trying to argue it further. Imperators II(Talk) 15:12, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
CC-8

Comments

Larry

  • Nominated by: Cwedin(talk) 21:25, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Larry, from the planet Brooklyn.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:EWOKS

(2 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. "I once knew a man with three eyes, purple fur, clinical depression, and a nose like Wario." "Ooh, what did you call him?" "…Larry." Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:50, 16 April 2021 (UTC)
  2. You forgot to mention his flashlight in the equipment section. :P JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 04:04, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
  3. AmazinglyCool (talk) 16:08, 21 April 2021 (UTC)
  4. Short for Larry, apparently OtterSurf (talk) 10:23, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote.png Imperators II(Talk) 13:47, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:55, 20 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • Can the timeline reference really be used to source all of the first half of the first paragraph?
    • Good catch, fixed.
  • I think the physical description in the P&T should elaborate on the position of his eyes, how two were in his face while one was in an upper stalk. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:59, 14 April 2021 (UTC)
  • The distinct colour on his arms and foot could be mentioned as well, is there anything to indicate that they are hairy too? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:17, 15 April 2021 (UTC)
    • I've been treating it all as skin, since the model sheet just has the label "flesh." - Cwedin(talk) 02:25, 15 April 2021 (UTC)
  • I know I've voted support but I just noticed that Larry's tribe should be linked in affiliations. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:57, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Can you mention his gender in the intro?
    • Done.
  • Do you think it's worth mentioning the blanket in the equipment section? JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 19:48, 19 April 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Ginivex-class fanblade starfighter

  • Nominated by: DwartiiDelver (talk) 18:36, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Always loved this ship. Also, my first FAN!
  • WookieeProject (optional): The Clone Wars

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Support

  1. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:33, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
  2. SecretSpyer (talk) 04:02, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png Excellent work. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:40, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. I know I called the below objections prelims, but I can't find anything else. Nice work. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 22:19, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. Great work! LucaRoR (Talk) 19:22, 23 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni

Preliminaries:

  • History could benefit from subsectioning.
    • Would you have any recommendations on how best to subsection it? I'm not entirely sure, considering practically all of it is about the Battle of Sullust. Perhaps section the final paragraph separately since that is after the battle rather than during it?
  • 1250 vs. 1,250 inconsistency.
    • Changed to just 1,250
  • It seems a bit odd that you say only six starfighters. Why would she need more than one? JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 00:34, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
    • That's just what the source states. That detail is originally from Legends (in some stories Ventress would lose one of her fanblades and then still have another one later on). DwartiiDelver (talk) 00:42, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
  • First sentence should be broken in two.
    • Broken
  • Color can just be pipelinked the first time a color is mentioned, using the word itself is unnecessary in that sentence.
    • Done
  • The image in Characteristics should be bigger, I can't tell what's in it without magnifying it.
    • Better?
  • Sith needs to be linked in the body.
    • Linked
  • Since you mention in characteristics that force users could do flips and shit you should mention later that Ventress was a force user. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:11, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Should Ventress' fighter get its own article?
    • I'm inclined to say no. The fanblade fighter Ventress flies at Sullust remains the only one we've seen in canon, and there does not appear to be anything distinct about that one in particular (for instance, that specific fanblade is not given its own name, and there is no mention of it being modified in any way).
  • Ref 16 should use {{TCWCite}}. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:01, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Added.
  • Per Layout Guide, a "Role" section is in order. I can see that its designation as a "starfighter" is suitable for that section.
    • Added a Role section.
  • "Ventress betrayed" can benefit an image. The images can also be enlarged. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:06, 30 June 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Battle for Alaris Prime

  • Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:56, 7 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I can't tell if this campaign is meant to have a pro or anti-colonialism stance.
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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Support

  1. Good work, almost done with this whole colonial war. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 04:43, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Might need to call in the Colonial Marines for this one. OtterSurf (talk) 10:18, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. Nice job. DwartiiDelver (talk) 14:35, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:22, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 04:27, 12 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

Battle of Macaroni
  • I hate to break it to you, but it seems that the full release dates for GB and the Prima guide are needed since they came out on different days of the same year, per WP:LG#Publication dates. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 00:02, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Got a whole new citation template for it (and many thanks to the users who fixed it when I didn't know what I was doing). I'll get some feedback on the date referencing first before implementing it in every article I've ever written. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 19:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
Dwartii
  • At least some of the images could be slightly enlarged, particularly the one under "Trade Federation offensives" and the bts image.
  • Does GB have subtitles for Qui-Gon's (and other characters') lines, or is it just audio? If the latter, "defences" in the Prelude quote should be spelled "defenses," though if there are subtitles and that's how they spell it the quote can remain as is.
  • Incomplete sentence in the bts: "In it, the player controls the Wookiees and must destroy the Trade Federation fortress to achieve victory, using their."
  • "The Trade Federation forces may create additional forces" From the bts. Since "forces" is used again just a few words later, could the first part of the sentence just say "The Trade Federation" and omit the "forces" from that? Or would that somehow change the meaning (with regard to the gameplay). DwartiiDelver (talk) 19:20, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • "The first strike of the battle was made when a force of battle droids, including five beetle droids and a droideka attacked. They were sent by the droid commander SRAM-13 to attack the Wookiee sentry posts that were built to warn them of the Trade Federation's movements." This sentence reads a little weird to me. I would start by saying they were sent by SRAM followed by their attack on a Wookiee sentry post. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:54, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified Trade Federation base

  • Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:00, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Screw it, I will max out all my possible nominations until I get too busy for editing regularly
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(1 Inqs/5 Users/6 Total)

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Support

  1. Good job! ~ D MCCG D MCCG.png (chat) 23:33, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
  2. Reviewed on Discord. Note that I have given Code until 2030 to finish Operation Galactic Battlegrounds. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 00:32, 10 May 2021 (UTC)
  3. DwartiiDelver (talk) 22:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
  4. Well done.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 15:30, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
  5. The T-Feds were gonna call it Buttercup Acres, but Qui-Gon leveled it before they could erect the sign. OtterSurf (talk) 10:25, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:17, 8 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

Dwartii
  • In the final paragraph of the History section, there are two back-to-back sentences that begin with "With". I think it'd be preferable to try and change one of these so it's not quite as repetitive. DwartiiDelver (talk) 03:33, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer

Comments

  • Just a note on the history quote, I can't find that exact audio file that matches what appears in the level, there's one that matches the quote almost entirely with the small difference of calling the fortress a "government center." If anyone else with the game can find the proper one in case it's just my version being weird, that would be great. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:22, 9 May 2021 (UTC)


Graak (lawbreaker)

  • Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 15:25, 25 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first FAN! Might I ask the Inquisitorius to learn from Graak's tale and strive to be teh compassion, and not teh evil. :P
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:EWOKS

(1 Inqs/5 Users/6 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote.png Reviewed via discord, very nice work. Congratulations on the first FA nom! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:41, 30 May 2021 (UTC)
  2. Well done.Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 15:55, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
  3. Headcanon: Simon cut his eye out. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:40, 1 June 2021 (UTC)
  4. Graak could've fought off the Sanyassans single-handedly. DwartiiDelver (talk) 16:04, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
  5. OtterSurf (talk) 10:09, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  6. It's almost as if they wanted to make him Graak :P OOM 224 08:28, 19 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
Ecks Dee
OOM
  • A little bit of explanation for Joddar turning against Graak would be helpful in the intro's last paragraph. I'd say there's no need to go into what happened between him and Wicket and Teebo though. Mentioning he learnt compassion from them is sufficient.
    • How's that?
  • "calling it "survival of the fittest."" — not needed in the Biography; instead, this would make good P&T material.
    • Fixed.
  • "Teebo slipped, hanging on only by a small plant. As the warriors prepared to attack Teebo with their spears" — this part isn't really relevant to Graak. OOM 224 16:01, 17 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Lastly, there are quite a few instances of "after" in the article, so it could do with a bit of variation OOM 224 17:32, 18 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • Big thanks to Amino for providing me with digital images. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 15:25, 25 May 2021 (UTC)
  • I will be away for the next two weeks and therefore not he able to address objections; feel free to list them, but I'm asking the Inquisitorious not to take down this nom. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 02:51, 21 June 2021 (UTC)


Atrisian Commonwealth

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Support

  1. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:16, 3 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Love me some Atlas-based lore. Fan26 (Talk) 18:50, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 23:10, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
  4. OtterSurf (talk) 10:05, 28 June 2021 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Battle of Columus

  • Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 12:03, 4 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)

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Support

  1. Love me some ancient Jedi wars. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:44, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 01:34, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:39, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
  4. OtterSurf (talk) 10:08, 28 June 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • Context for Corulag.
    • I think adding the fact that Corulag was a Core Worlds planet right in the next sentence after it is stated that the Jedi pursued the Legions of Lettow to the Core Worlds would be super redundant.
      • As someone not familiar with that geography, I was reading it as the Corulag event was a separate thing from the war reaching the Core Worlds. Could adding something like "There, on Corulag" make it clearer? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
        • Sure, added.
  • The sentence it's in runs on too, and it should be explicit that Corulag is in the Core Worlds
    • Split up the sentence.
  • The fact that they fought with lightsabers deserves a mention. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
    • They didn't—canonically lightsabers weren't invented for another ten thousand years—and I'm assuming that it's merely visual effects due to crystal-colored (canonical fact) Force-imbued blades being swinged around. Imperators II(Talk) 09:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
      • My bad, I had skimmed over the part where you mentioned those. However, at the moment it only specifies that Pina had that weapon. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
        • Why, do you think that all battles should detail all the weapons wielded by their participants?
          • Why wouldn't we? It's relevant information, especially in this case where a reader could make a similar assumption about the weapons based on the image as I did. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
            • I've added it here due to the potential for confusion. But if you imagine some of the larger battles, such as Hoth or Endor, you'll see why it's an absurd principle to try and apply generally. Imperators II(Talk) 16:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
              • Yeah fair enough, I was using the mindset I write my own battle articles with, where there's only been five at most. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:44, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Why's the BTS image not on the left? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Because lone images in BTS almost never look good left-aligned, and this is no exception. The spirit of the Layout Guide rule you're implicitly referring to is that on long articles images should not all be aligned along one side. You will notice that at least on recent quality articles BTS images are consistently right-aligned. Imperators II(Talk) 15:36, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
      • Not totally sure that I get it but turns out the LG is pretty soft in regards to image alignment, so I'll strike. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
        • The bottom line is that it never looks good to have a left-aligned image at the very start of the BTS. Imperators II(Talk) 16:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)

Comments


Fideltin Rusk

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 03:54, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR

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Support

  1. Nice to have you back, Cade. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:42, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Great job. OtterSurf (talk) 11:28, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. Return of the compansion FAs. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:38, 1 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • Current standards favour much shorter subsections due to the death of Monobook, which you can see throughout other current noms or recent FAs.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 04:16, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Per discussion on Discord the recommendations were that sectioning should follow natural divisions of content, so I guess the ones in the biography section are okay. I was going to suggest subsectioning the Bts but I can't find a break that wouldn't only leave one paragraph behind. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
  • If commander is not given as his actual rank those links should pipelink to Commanding officer/Legends instead.
    • Done.
  • Time on Hoth: May be my weary eyes but I can't tell which decade is being referred to in the first sentence
    • Updated the Mindor/end of war stuff in the paragraph above, and the paragraph below, to include dates.
  • Neither of his parents are currently linked. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
  • The exact date behind the year isn't necessary per the Layout Guide. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:58, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
  • I think describing the info given from the encyclopedia in the Bts is unnecessary.
  • I'll have to check some youtube videos later, are there notable differences in how Rusk interacts with the player in Fallen Empire if they're continuing playing as the Jedi Master as opposed to other classes? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:46, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
      • Nothing too special. Doesn't talk much about the time jump. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 14:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
        • "Stars, it's good to see your face. Sorry about the undignified welcome. They don't make leashes tight enough for this lot."
        • "I'm glad to see you too. It seems like you've climbed the ranks since I've been gone."
        • "There are very few people who would choose this command, but I'm honored to shoulder the burden for the good of the Republic."
          • I think it would be fine to mention that there's specific dialogue if the player is reuniting with Rusk in the BTS.
  • Watching some videos and it seems that the Commander gets a tip off to find Rusk from Bey'wan Aygo and chews out a soldier named Merghal, which can be added to the bio, and the mission the player can undertake for Rusk should go in the bts too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:50, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Added mention of the dialogue, but the mission's already mentioned in the BTS, unless you're referring to something else. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:29, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
Vergence

Comments

Dromund Kaas operation

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 04:08, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Resubmitting this one; it was removed by Tope because of my absence and some unconfirmed changes (which I've since reviewed and am fine with)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR

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Support

  1. OtterSurf (talk) 10:02, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:07, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
  3. A very absorbing read, and well-done! Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 03:15, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote.png Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:22, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
  5. I read this yesterday and forgot to support, really great stuff. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:13, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8 operation
  • The intro says that the galaxy at large believed the Emperor's death, but later on says that it was secret for two years.
    • Clarified.
  • The prelude and galaxy at large could use an image, and the operation could do with subsectioning
    • Images added, but there's really no place to subsection, as I'd have to put it in the middle of the GameLS section - which needs to be grouped because it's all about the same part of the event - or at the start of it, and that leaves a 2-paragraph part preceding it.
  • Is Scourge's vision of the Hero standing over the Emperor not technically an appearance for this event? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:49, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Fair point. Updated. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 14:47, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Is it clear why the Hero couldn't be controlled by the Emperor? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 12:33, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
    • I don't believe so, no. It's basically "you're the player character and special" with a dash of "you've broken free before" but I don't think it's stated. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:55, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I think a line about where the Emperor hibernated after the operation would be relevant, and would a description of his ultimate fate be taking it too far? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:21, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Added the fate stuff, but it's unclear where his physical body was, AFAIK. He's just in hibernation in his original form (which I clarified again as well) Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 19:22, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Infobox:
  • Can you specify the actual source with the holomessage in Ref 2?
    • Done.
  • The infobox has the only dual reference in the article. Is it necessary to have two sources cited there?
    • Fixed.
  • In "Casualties," can you be more specific than just "Moderate" or "Heavy"? What kind of losses did both sides endure?
    • It's unclear, as the player only sees a small part of the fight. We don't get any info on the space battle beyond the general "taken losses" and that the Imperial forces on the ground encountered by the Hero's crew are defeated.
  • Main body:
  • Second intro paragraph can definitely use a break.
  • Images can be enlarged.
  • "With that discovery, the seeds of rebellion were sown." Without context, this has a very unencyclopedic tone.
    • Clarified.
  • BTS:
  • Per Layout Guide, more precise release dates for Revan (also missing author) and the TOR game are needed.
    • Revan, yes, but I was under the impression that "2011" was sufficient for TOR.
      • They're needed because both sources came out in the same year, as stated in the section linked above. Also, can Revan's full date be sourced to the novel? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
        • All of these are done. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 23:09, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Some of the BTS's first paragraph feels unnecessary since you've already detailed what happened after the operation in the Aftermath section.
    • Trimmed.
  • Per ample precedent, assumptions by the article should not be relegated to reference notes and instead should be detailed in the BTS itself.
    • Done.
  • Add Revan and Annihilation audiobooks to Appearances.
    • Done.
  • Reviewing note: Please see this Manual of Style clause: "But do not link individual words within proper compound nouns (examples: Death Star, Azure Dianoga Cantina, Galactic Empire, Bantha-class assault shuttle)". Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:32, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Are there any left, or did you remove them all? This was written a while ago but I'll keep that in mind. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:53, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
      • I removed them wherever I saw them, but it would be good to go over it again just in case. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Are there any ships that can be clearly seen in the battle? They can be documented under "Strength" in the infobox, and in the body.
  • I'd like to see some sectioning done to Prelude. I can see a split between the stuff the Emperor did and the Galactic War breaking out. I also want to see some more context for that section's image caption. There is also space for another image and another quote after sectioning.
  • "The operation" desperately needs some sectioning, a split between the planning phase and paragraphs covered by GameLS will suffice.
  • First image's caption in "Aftermath" can benefit from more elaboration.
  • 1stID missing from Appearances, since the BTS makes it clear the name does not come from Revan. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:10, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
  • One last thing, can you add an image to the BTS? Either the cover of Revan or TOR will do. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:28, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Done, the BTS image from the Hero actually shows the operation so it was a perfect fit. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 16:02, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
Minnabird
  • Should 3640 BBY be linked in the body, even if on "around a year later"? Right now it's linked only in infobox, intro, and references.
  • Do we know why Scourge betrayed the Emperor? Is it just that it was fate? What does he tell the player character?
  • "he detected that one of the Hero's companions was about to be overwhelmed by Imperial Guard reinforcements nearby" Do we know how he detected it? were there like, cameras? If he just said "they're about to be overwhelmed!" and we don't know how he knows it's fine as-is.
  • "He scoffed at the Hero's claim that they would open his eyes to the way of the Jedi by taking him to Tython, arguing that, by doing so, the Hero clung to Tol Braga's old ambitions, ignoring their true desires." Not 100% clear what's happening here. What are Tol Braga's old ambitions/how are they relevant or how would the player character react to them? Whose true desires? I also don't think "by doing so" really connects well to the thing it's supposed to describe; the phrase suggests it's referring back to a verb, which I think is supposed to be "claim," but that's used as a noun in the sentence? If that makes any sense at all. Basically: didn't revise this sentence because I'm not 100% sure how to do so.
  • Do we know who Admiral Dabrin is? He turns up for the award ceremony seemingly without context. Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 02:48, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
    • All addressed via Discord. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 03:13, 12 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Sajar

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 04:32, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Another former Featured Article; ecks's objections from the review have been satisfied.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR

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Support

  1. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 17:31, 13 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 11:35, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:53, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. DwartiiDelver (talk) 20:14, 8 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • You're in Category:TOR dates usages without act argument, whatever that means.
    • Done.
  • Can 3653 BBY actually be sourced to ref 1?
    • Resourced.
  • Could use an equipment section to discuss his lightsaber and clothing, which is currently being done in skills and abilities.
    • Ehhhh.... done, but frankly it looks rather terrible separate from the P&T.
  • Spaces should be replaced by underscores in filenames (e.g. [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]] instead of [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).
    • Done.
  • The first P+T paragraph can probably be split into two, it's quite large.
    • Done.
  • Some context for Nar Shaddaa in the Bts would be nice. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 19:46, 10 June 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
  • Could use an image in the second bio section.
  • I think we should avoid using the word "this" outside of the Bts. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:43, 11 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Attack on Fondor

  • Nominated by: Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:52, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First time doing a battle longer than CA length. I decided not to include info from "Destroyer Down" as the battle in that story is pretty much unrelated to this one.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:AMB, WP:SWBF, WP:VG

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Support

  1. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 18:48, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Nicely done. DwartiiDelver (talk) 15:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
  3. Great work, in my opinion! LucaRoR (talk) 17:19, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:31, 29 July 2021 (UTC)

Object

Average Battlefront enjoyer
Macaroni
Regular FA consumer
Ratts
  • "…at Fondor Station within the Fondor Shipyards over the world Fondor" can you reword or rearrange this? It's a bit repetitive.
  • There's little mention of the dialogue between Iden and Raythe during the mission. While not all of it is relevant, they do discuss tactics that affect how the battle plays out, so I think that should be touched upon.
  • "As the battle progressed, Versio destroyed multiple fighters tailing Hask's TIE fighter." That's not necessarily true, since two of the fighters are scripted to crash during the chase scene, regardless if Iden shoots them or not. The player is only required to destroy one ship during this objective, being the A-wing.
  • In the last paragraph of "Imperial victory," you should clarify that Iden destroys both the control tower and the docking arm, an order she initially objects to. RattsT (talk) 01:49, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Handled via Discord. RattsT (talk) 09:04, 1 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments


Revan

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 04:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: hehehehehehehehe. Hi there. Did ya miss me?
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR, WP:KOTOR

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Support

  1. D MCCG D MCCG.png (chat) 03:06, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 10:03, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. It'd be great for Legends Revan to return to FA status. —Tomotron Revanchist Sith.svg (Star Forge) 06:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)

Object

Tomotron
Vergence
Braha'tok/Legends
Up to Rise of the Sith
  • "According to Mical, Revan returned to his first teacher in order to learn how to best leave the Jedi Order, though he did not follow through." You're trying to keep a trend of saying Revan is not named Revan yet, but this seems to be an anomaly.
    • Fixed.
  • "Outraged at the Jedi Council's refusal to involve the Order in the conflict, the young Jedi Knight began to move among the Order," What do you mean by "move among the order"?
    • Reworded.
  • Second and forth paragraphs of The Revanchist are too bloated. As is the forth paragraph of Fighting the Mandalorians and the final paragraph of Dark Lord of the Sith. Bisecting them accordingly is advised.
  • "Alec and his followers" is used multiple times, but that format makes it sound like they could be Alec's followers.
    • Reworded.
  • "Shortly after the Adasca affair, the Taris Siege, and the bombardment of Jebble," the last two events are just passingly mentioned with no context and don't seem relevant to the narrative at all. I'd say it's better to not mention them at all.
    • Done.
  • "Anointing his new servants as Darth Revan and Darth Malak, the Dark Lords of the Sith, the Emperor sent them back to the Republic as a vanguard to his own invasion, ordering them to make use of the Rakatan Star Forge and to report back when they had crushed the Republic's resistance." The reintroduction of the Star Forge makes it look like the Sith suddenly had it, and then we find out that Revan is locating it after he searched a lil bit. I'd try and say from the start that Revan and Malak needed to locate and obtain the Star Forge.
    • Changed to "find and make use of"
  • "the two were taken captive by the native Black Rakata." The Black Rakata's article introduces them as a tribe, but the Revan article introduces them as if they're a species. Please revise.
    • added "tribe"
  • "When the Republic officer Saul Karath defected to Revan's forces, Revan eventually promoted Karath to commander of the entire Sith fleet. However, Malak ordered the Admiral to bombard the surface of the planet Telos IV with his flagship Leviathan," Is Karath the admiral? If so you should probably specify their (new?) rank in the first sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Changed to "newly-promoted Admiral". Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 16:17, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • You refer to the "Emperor" when Revan and Malak encounter the guy but I'm assuming that's Vitiate? If so, I think it would be better to keep using Vitiate's name rather than just the Emperor.
    • At this point in time, the Emperor was literally *only* known as the Emperor; he discarded his older names after leaving Nathema and didn't readopt others until the events of TOR.
  • You ok with these changes? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Revan quickly won a string of military victories, proving himself to a capable military leader," Proving himself to whom?
    • Republic military. Fixed. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:17, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "While Revan was a military genius who knew that the Republic's industrial might was the key to victory, […] "Moral shortcuts" became common under Revan and Malak's leadership, and the two Jedi developed a cold and calculating disposition unlike that of a Jedi; they matched the Mandalorians' brutal tactics with tactics just as merciless." If this is someone's point of view, that should be specified, because this feels to me like it flouts WP:NPOV a bit.
    • Cited - it comes from a lot of sources, like Warfare, but specifically the OOU Atlas and NEC.
  • You should specify that Foerost is a planet (or whatever the source says it is if the Foerost article is wrong). Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 12:37, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
Soldier of the Republic
  • "He also encountered a number of the building's inhabitants, such as the former waitress Dia,[39] who told Revan about how she was hiding out to avoid a bounty set by a man named Holdan after she rejected his advances." Advances being like an attempt at romance? Does the source clarify this?
    • Sexual/romantic, yes; that's what the phrase "rejected his advances" means.
  • "Taking their journals, Revan then discovered a sealed door that Vao unlocked with her security spikes. Upon finding Zaalbar within," Found him within what? What was the door to?
    • Zaalbar was behind the door. Clarified.
  • The article reads "While exploring the sewers, " and then "Before they headed down into the sewers," when I'm pretty sure they're still in the sewer. Do you mean like "Before they continued exploring the sewers" or am I missing something? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Ah, that meant to be "Before they headed down into the base." Fixed. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 18:47, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Since Revan's defeat, Malak had declared himself the new Dark Lord, taken control of the Sith Empire, and kept the Republic on the defensive." I'm assuming this is about the war in the last section, but it'd be good to clarify so to remind the reader of what already exists.
    • The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Done.
  • "However, they were barred from entering the Lower City…" This situation is sorta thrown in out of nowhere. You should Introduce the fact that they were trying to reach the Lower City because Shan's pod might be there, and then mention the Sith troopers barring their entry.
  • "but the two stayed where they were and decided to intervene when the commander threatened to kill the Aqualish if he failed to cooperate. After the three Sith were killed," I'd clarify that Revan and Onasi killed them by tweaking that last clause there.
  • "Revan purchased a pazaak deck from a man named Garouk and used it to defeat a player named Niklos." I feel that context is insufficient here. My recommendation is that the last bit is worded to say he played and defeated Niklos, the unofficial pazaak champion of Taris, at a pazaak game using the purchased card deck or something along those lines. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:59, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I am once again asking you to verify this copy-edit. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
Sectioning
Macaroni
Shayanomer
  • Is there any new information in this source? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Nope. Just a passing mention of Revan as "the Enclave's most famous student" when talking about Dantooine's Enclave. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit.svg Calrayn 15:15, 14 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments


Seftin Vanik

  • Nominated by: Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:18, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Thanks to Ayrehead for spotting another appearance of Vanik in the film, bringing this article above 1000 words.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

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Support

  1. OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 23:39, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Fun fact: The SW sequels and Game of Thrones had the same casting director, so there's a ton of actors who've been in both. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:58, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote.png Carrying vote over after inspecting the recent update. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 03:15, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  4. Also carrying vote over from the GAN. Good work. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 04:44, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:49, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote.png 1358 (Talk) 19:42, 11 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

CC-8
  • At a glance I'm sure the intro could be longer than 104 words. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:29, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Added a bit more, but I'm pretty sure saying "this guy was standing in this spot and over there" in the intro isn't really beneficial to readers. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:45, 29 June 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Aron Peacebringer

  • Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:10, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Was killed a couple years ago for an update tag that actually had zero new information. Injustice!
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:48, 4 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • All of the image sizes can be increased.
  • Ref 4 needs {{Cite web}}.
    • Some of those fields can be filled in and then the empty ones can be removed. I'm also not sure why you have |nobackup=1, the page is still live to be archived.
      • 13 years and I never really figured out templates, tbh. Hopefully this is addressed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 23:31, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Please kill that relationships section. Feel free to incorporate it into P+T if you'd like.
  • Release date (full) needed for Star Wars 53.
  • 3 ABY isn't sourced correctly.
  • First paragraph of "Capture" can be split up.
  • Trust me, more to come seeing as you weren't the original writer :P JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 01:19, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    • All should be addressed. IFYLOFD (Talk) 20:25, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I don't think 2 ABY is sourced correctly either.
  • The bio only mentions that he was born in the Shiva system and neglects to mention Shiva IV as the intro/infobox do.
  • Intro should mention his species.
  • All physical traits listed in the infobox are not mentioned in the body.
  • Is there any reason he's referred to as Aron and not Peacebringer?
    • He's referred to as "Aron" earlier on because he doesn't receive the "Peacebringer" honorific until after he becomes Warlord. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:54, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • "must be highly radioactive" is not exactly using past tense and can be reworded.
  • Is an article needed for these T'Syriél stormtroopers? And what about his daughter that died?
    • I don't think one is necessary for the T'Syriel stormtroopers—there's nothing to indicate they're anything different from regular stormtroopers outside of being a different species underneath the armor. Created one for the daughter. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:54, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • A bit more context for each of the Rebel reinforcements would be appreciated.
  • Can you add a section header for the non-relationships bit of the P+T?
  • Missing {{Mediacat}}.
  • (Review note) There was some significant underlinking in the article, if you're planning on restoring any more old FAs you'll want to check that before nominating. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 00:45, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Rest of the objections should be good to go. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:54, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I don't think Leia should really get a relationships subsection—he was attracted to her but didn't really have a huge relationship with her.
  • Missing skills and abilities section.
  • Missing equipment section. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 00:22, 22 July 2021 (UTC)
    • These should be addressed.
  • Does the comics companion use ABY or ASW4? If the latter, you need to explain how that corresponds to ABY, such as how it's done here.
  • Are any of the double refs really necessary?
  • A little context for the Falcon, please.
  • Lastly, the full date for the comic isn't self-sourcing; it needs a new ref. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH.png(Talk) 21:18, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
    • I think all these should be good. IFYLOFD (Talk) 04:13, 4 August 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Please digitize the comic book images. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:51, 21 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

S. V. Skynx

  • Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Love this little weird ass alien boy
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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Support

Object

  • Currently, the first Biography paragraph is a giant run-on sentence without pauses. Please fix. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:12, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • Date needs a new ref.
  • One last audiobook is missing.
  • Context for Obroa-skai and Rudrig?
  • Do you think we need a page for the Human History department or Department of History?
  • I think that explaining Gallandro's grudge would be helpful, if such details are available. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:58, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
    • All should be addressed. Created a page for the Department of History, but don't think the other one merits it personally. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:38, 16 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Any reason you're not mentioning the dialogue between Skynx and Solo as described in the quote of "An unexpected journey"?
    • Didn't seem relevant to me. All he's doing is describing the Queen of Ranroon, which is covered when I introduce the ship. Not every line of dialogue needs to be detailed in the body, necessarily.
  • Also not seeing anything in the body about his goodbye exchange with Solo. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:47, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • You use both "simple-minded" and "mindless" to describe chroma-wing. These two terms mean different things.
  • Can you spell out the "Celebratus Archive" instead of using a pipelink?
  • I would rather you use an image of Han Solo that looks less "cluttered" with other things in it.
  • "Skynx's years of study made him one of the most well-known "Ximologists" in the galaxy[2] and resulted in a unique collection of artifacts..." Resulted in what? What's happening with the artifacts?
    • Still unclear. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Not sure how it's unclear? "...his collection of a unique assortment of artifacts," He collected them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Reworded slightly, I hope it's still accurate to the source material. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
          • Yup, looks good. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:05, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
  • "Human History" can get an article of its own, seeing as we have articles on departments of organizations. "Emeritus Chair" can also get one.
  • "Skynx and his compatriots were subsequently rendered unconscious by a mysterious force and awoke in a prison cell, with the two droids gone." What is this "mysterious force"? It needs to be clarified, you're writing in an encyclopedic manner.
  • Per policy, the CSWE template should not be used in Sources. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:56, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
  • I would like you to reword certain bits of the article that have rather florid language, such as "While Solo was disappointed at the lack of gold and gems, it was an archaeologist's dream find...." Stuff like this doesn't fit the encyclopedic tone that we're going for. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Listen, I understand what you're going for here, but I have to push back here. I don't think there's anything wrong with wording like that. I'm describing what it was and how it was described in the source material. We have different writing styles, but that doesn't make mine wrong, and I'm not going to rewrite the entire article because you have a different view of what an "encyclopedic" writing style is. I hate to pull this card, but I think I've been around, writing status articles, long enough to know what is and what isn't proper tone. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
      • I never said your writing style is flat out "wrong," just that, from my point of view, the wording doesn't satisfy a neutral point of view. If you still feel strongly about your point though, I'll drop the objection. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
        • I have to be honest, I really do feel very strongly about it. Again, I'm not editorializing here—I'm presenting these events the way they're described in the source material. IFYLOFD (Talk) 04:28, 26 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Jai Maruk

  • Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:25, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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Support

Object

Shayanomer
  • Please address the objections left over from the first nomination. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:56, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Fred will have a look when he's free. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Since you have stated that the novel does not provide the exact date, you need to write a note for it. The dates are also currently inconsistent between the infobox and body.
    • Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Does it mention Phindar Spaceport? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:10, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
        • Yes, TNEC mentioned the spaceport. ToRsO bOy (talk) 08:00, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
          • Now that specific date is infobox-exclusive. To my understanding, we only employ rounded dates now. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Also per the AC probation page, the audiobook is a simultaneous 1st appearance. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Objections
Master Fred
  • "her apparent lack of the Force..." Is that really how the source describes it, or is it more accurately a lack of connection to the Force or Force-sensitivity
    • Edited it to "her weak connection to the the Force". ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  • No need to mention the CSWE entry and TERC mention in the Bts' first paragraph. We don't restate the Appearances and Sources sections in the prose anymore.
  • How did you determine the proper way to handle the contradictions mentioned in the Bts? This might be worth noting for the reader. MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 23:46, 23 February 2021 (UTC)
    • I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni

Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:28, 16 July 2021 (UTC)


Invincible

  • Nominated by: Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:25, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First (technically second) FAN. Let's hope it goes well this time around
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:59, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
  2. As leader of the clone wars project and fan of the Separatist military, I support this FAN Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:21, 14 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

The Macaroni
Editor joins the battle
  • Wilhuff Tarkin needs his link added, nor is he mentioned in the history section. I think a brief sentence noting that Tarkin was informed the ship made up Teller's craft could be useful.
    • How's that?
  • The opening quote notes the ship is modular in design, so that should be noted in the description section Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:35, 1 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • I will address any and all possible objections when I return from vacation in 7-8 days. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:45, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Just noticed, what poster are you referring to? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:37, 14 September 2021 (UTC)


Renz

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:07, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I really did not expect this to end up on the FAN but Barrie Holland apparently has a lot of stories to tell.
  • WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Ambition

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Great work. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:26, 20 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • Is it really necessary to include the "Ha! Ha!" in the bts quote? It doesn't really add much in my opinion.
    • Eh I usually include that kind of thing as part of the whole quote, but removed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Should we be listing the OT/PT graphic novels by the first movie they adapt in appearances per Forum:CT:Clarifying the Appearances section in the Layout Guide?
    • I don't think we have a consistent precedent on this, but done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "so that Solo turned into Renz's gun" -- this implies that Solo literally transformed into a gun, which is not what I think you're trying to say.
  • Endor Limited is missing a release year, and it was not produced by WotC :P
  • Can you please give the series name and full release date for the De Agostini book? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:06, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Damn, I generally just auto-assume De Agostini full dates are impossible, I forgot that Encyclopedia actually has them. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Do we have/need a page for the Endor bunker garrison?
    • Made one, although the precedent for when a garrison does or doesn't get a page seems a little spotty. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Is the capitalization of Rebel in the opening quote accurate?
  • The "Duped by Solo" quote caption doesn't make it clear who the second speaker is.
  • Do you think a year for Eye of the Needle is worth adding? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:00, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
    • I left it out mostly because I don't really see how the year is relevant to the character Renz, all we need to know is that Holland and Marquand met on the film prior to Holland being offered Renz which is clear in the text. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Flame-colored robes

  • Nominated by: Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 18:03, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Objections, suggestions, and a lot of screaming about Padmé and Naboo fashion addressed via Discord. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 23:57, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
  2. Great work! Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:54, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
  3. I think we're ready to go. Fantastic section header names. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:41, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • Really great work here, just a couple things: for one, it isn't super clear to me if "The handmaidens often wore hoods" is connected to the article subject. If that's the case, it can be made a little clearer.
  • "..." should be replaced with "…"
  • When you say Parasitti used the disguise against her, I think it should be explicitly mentioned that when she shapeshifted into a handmaiden, she was disguised in the robes. The article kind of implies it right now but doesn't state it.
    • Hopefully a little clearer in that last sentence Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 07:35, 14 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "All over the galaxy" is intro-exclusive.
    • Changed the statement in the intro to better reflect what is written in the section on the pin-up Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 07:35, 14 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "At least one other queen's retinue also wore similar robes." — It should be made clear that this retinue was also of the Royal House of Naboo. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:40, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Context needed for Anakin.
  • Any reason you didn't mention a date for Raiders of the Lost Gundark?
    • Popping my head in to note there's no available date, just a range of "sometime while she's queen." Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 00:01, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
      • This - can't give anything more specific than what's already there. Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 01:06, 12 September 2021 (UTC)
  • All of the stuff in "Remembered in light" takes place before the last paragraph of "Banked embers", so that needs to be re-ordered. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:39, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Rearranged sections in chronological order - sorry, instinctively arranged by theme after the original structure broke down. Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 01:06, 12 September 2021 (UTC)
Lewis
  • Missing appearances, I pointed them out to you on the Discord server before and guessing you forgot to add them Lewisr (talk) 16:31, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Should be addressed now! Thank you. Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 01:02, 25 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • Grew too big for GAN! Minnabird Naboo.svg (talk) 18:03, 11 August 2021 (UTC)


Belaya

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Support

  1. OOM 224 20:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
  2. D MCCG D MCCG.png (chat) 16:03, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
  3. Perfection.gif great work! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:46, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
  4. Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:44, 23 September 2021 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • It's best to establish context for subjects upon their first mention so as to avoid confusion further down the page. Specifically, Dantooine as a planet and Revan as a former Jedi in the first lines of the first and third paragraph (intro), respectively.
    • Impactic and Immi have tackled that, and some other context left out previously. Please see if we've added too much context or if more is still needed!
      • Looks good, though I think it is a little too much. The first sentence about Revan can be removed since there's no need to mention Revan at that point in the article (since it's not relevant to Belaya). I've also cut down on the context here, please see if that's okay OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
        • Dialed back! Does that now leave the last sentence in a weird place by calling Malak "his former Sith apprentice"? Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 12:23, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
          • That can be solved by simply saying that he's a Sith OOM 224 13:00, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "Although" is preferred over "though" in formal writing
    • Fixed by Impactic.
  • Per precedence, the video game developer (BioWare in this case) should be mentioned in BTS sections OOM 224 19:00, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Also (following on my first objection. This objection got longer than I thought it would, but bear with me here :P), I'm not sure if so much context on the Jedi Civil War is needed in "Traditions of the Jedi." I suggest first removing the part between "In 3956 BBY" and "Bastila Shan brought Revan," and then adding the necessary context that Revan lost his memories of his past self and was captured by the Jedi; I'd say only those two bits of info are needed since the rest aren't required for 1) Belaya as an article or 2) making the text here clear to readers OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Context needed for Deesra Luur Jada. Something like "Jedi Knight" would do fine. Similarly, context is needed for Korriban
  • Is there a reason why the Masters in that Deesra sentence are listed in the current order? If not then it's best to just sort them alphabetically.
    • Added context. I think the order of the Masters was how they were standing in the Enclave from left to right, but I went ahead and ordered them alphabetically. Wasn't sure to order by first name or last, if I did it wrong just ping me on discord and I can fix it. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:11, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Cool, and no, what you've done is correct OOM 224 16:40, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Is it really unclear whom Gaider is referring too? I'd say it's fair to assume it to be Belaya. Plus, the page is already indicating this by talking about it :P OOM 224 11:34, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
    • I changed it for now, but I'll check with Immi later, it'll probably get rewritten a little bit. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:07, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Cool, I've also made an edit to that part. There's also the potential of having that as a {{Quote}} but yeah, I'll let you check with Immi first. OOM 224 20:21, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Instead of repeating information between both the Biography and the P&T sections, I suggest removing Belaya's species from the Biography
  • Context for Bastila. Not sure what her rank was at the time, but either Jedi Knight or Master would do fine
    • Removed species from the Biography. The council refers to Bastila as a padawan in the game. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:36, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Huh, you'd think that the NPC Jedi protagonist of a game titled Knights of the Old Republic would be at least a Jedi Knight :P OOM 224 18:02, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "She expressed disbelief that someone so strong […]" It's not immediately clear who "she" is—Bastila or Belaya. Also, that same line is a little "choppy"—it's not really connected to the surrounding sentences. As an example, I've joined the "many nights alone together" sentence here with the previous line for a better flow.
  • "After Revan correctly recited the Jedi Code, he constructed his own lightsaber with a crystal from Master Dorak" — I don't think this is necessary since it's solely about Revan's journey OOM 224 17:13, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
    • I've revised the Crystal Cave part to focus on Belaya commenting on it. Should we leave any mention of the Jedi Code part to the BTS? I don't believe it's canonically established who re-taught Revan the Jedi Code, so it doesn't really fit the "100% completion" template, and IIRC the dialogue isn't available once someone else has taught it (but we can test that to find out) Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 00:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
      • I think it's fine the way it is, since it's just a game mechanic that technically falls under "Gameplay alternatives" OOM 224 17:32, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "The fallen Jedi"
    • Some of the detail in the first paragraph, bar the last sentence, can be cut to summarise that Juhani fell and the resulting effects
    • "rumors circulated that local settlers had been attacked by the newly aggressive wildlife, a Jedi apprentice had hurt her own master, and Master Quatra may not survive her injuries" I know I say this a lot, but I don't think this context here is necessary either OOM 224 18:02, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Worked on the paragraphs, let me know if I need to re-add or remove any context. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:04, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
        • Looks good. OOM 224 20:21, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
  • Okay, time for the final push
    • I don't think "After Revan located a Star Map within the ruins" is necessary information
      • Removed!
    • For the last Bio paragraph, simply saying that 1) the Enclave was bombarded by the Sith, 2) there were many Jedi casualties, 3) Malak was defeated by Revan, and 4) the First Jedi purge resulted in the deaths of most Order members is enough. Further details aren't needed since all the readers need here is a brief overview on the potential effects of the war on Belaya.
      • How's it now?
        • Looking great! There's only one thing with that last sentence: the First Jedi Purge isn't really part of the Sith Civil War. They're concurrent and certainly related, but the Sith killing Jedi was separate from their own struggle for dominance over each other OOM 224 19:15, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
    • It's pretty clear that "Peter T." is Peter Thomas, so I'd just replace "and notes from "Peter T." are found" with "whose notes are found"
      • Revised!
    • Lastly, I jsut want to confirm if the Prima's Guide been checked for any additional info OOM 224 18:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
      • Yep! Entirety of the Prima mention: "The courtyard is populated by a few Jedi and by Belaya, who comments on your progress as you learn the ways of the Force. (She’s a friend of Juhani, whom you’ll meet later, and she leaves the courtyard forever if Juhani meets an untimely end.)" Since none of that is unique info, we didn't cite it. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 18:44, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • I'm not a huge fan of having no section header for the first bts paragraph. What do you think about adding one?
  • I think "Authorial intent" could use a paragraph break and a quote.
    • Addressed both BTS-related objections. Related to the below, adjusted image positioning as well. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 01:19, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
  • The last two paragraphs of the bio are quite small and only work because of the huge image, which is a bit distracting. I'd say it can be a bit smaller and the last paragraphs merged. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:05, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Merged the paragraphs. The picture's size might need to be adjusted a little more. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 00:42, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
  • I don't really understand saying "In the time of [...] Revan" -- what are you trying to say here about the timeline that isn't already said? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
    • My fault for using a phrasing from the CSWE: "A human Jedi who trained under Master Zhar Lestin in the time of Darth Revan, she was friends with Juhani." I took that to mean that the years of her training overlapped with the years that Revan was active as a Sith. Does the dating already convey that? Revise or remove? Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 10:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Check out the revision, and if it's still not working, we'll trim :) Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
  • In the last paragraph of "The Fallen Jedi", is it worth noting that Bastila likewise couldn't assist? It's been ages since I played the game so I can't remember if she was available as a party member or not.
    • Revised the wording to include Bastila and be more clear about the instruction—Zhar says "None of the other Jedi at the academy are permitted to help you in this task" and Bastila can't be used as a party member for it. Is that good? Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Perfection Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of "The third trial" is really short, and jumps straight to Revan defeating her. Are you able to expand the initial sentence slightly and mention that they battled? Were any warning words said or was this an ambush strike? Can we say they used lightsabers and force powers or is that a stretch given the context of the game?
    • Revised wording! Didn't add details, both for gameplay reasons (you could choose not to use lightsaber or Force powers) and because it'd go off the topic of Belaya herself. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Awesome that's much better, agree with that Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Same section, I'm not sure the last two sentences are needed. I'll keep looking but no other issues spotted so far! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
    • We feel they're needed since Belaya was based on Dantooine; it's relevant to note what happened to Dantooine as it would have affected her (whether or not she was present, whether or not she survived...), as would the Jedi purge (if she survived the Dantooine bombardment). We believe those events need to be mentioned while avoiding out-of-universe speculating about the unknowns (so no "her fate was unknown"). Would you like us to revise the sentences in some other way? Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
      • That makes sense, can we at least connect Belaya in there somehow. Eg Juhani left Belaya to join Revan... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Connected! Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
          • I had the Lego click sound pop in my head when I read that haha Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:46, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Oh, forgot to mention you should double check the categories and see if there's anything else that could be added. I usually go into each existing category and see if there's sub or parent categories that offer a separate category branch that could also apply. For example, I went up the Jedi Knights of the Jedi Order and found under the Jedi individuals category another branch that could apply: Category:Jedi Guardians Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
    • I added Category:Jedi Guardians. I didn't see any other applicable categories, but I'll be on the lookout. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:10, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
      • Having a look in the wider individuals category, can we categorise her as a dantooinian as an inhabitant of that planet? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Can we describe her hairstyle at all in P&T? Review complete :) Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Initially I thought that category was only for those who were native to it, but it appears to apply to any people who lived on the planet. Added. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 15:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Whoops forgot to address the hairstyle. Fixed. Jedi Order.svg ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:34, 15 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • Belaya is part of the scope of WP:PRIDE's project based on the strong subtext that she had romantic feelings for Juhani, but at the moment, she has not been placed in the Category:LGBTQ+ individuals category since it's tricky to judge how explicit that needs to be for a potential status article. I've been unable to find any interviews where it's clear that Belaya is being discussed, though David Gaider said years later of Juhani: "We kind of hid it. She never says, 'She was my lover.' She just says, 'We are very close.'" (I don't think he quite remembered what Juhani did or didn't say, and it isn't totally clear if this is meant to be Belaya or Quatra). For what it's worth, I thought it was obvious and many people have felt that way about her since we're used to having things implied, in subtext, coded, etc., particularly since KOTOR was released in 2003 and it was doing groundbreaking-but-very-carefully stuff with Juhani. How do reviewers feel about that category for Belaya? Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 04:28, 14 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Upon further research (I'm talking a Google cache of an archive/mirror of the defunct LucasForums, eventually leading to finding the Archive.org of that forum!), we found David Gaider made explicit the authorial intent that Belaya was Juhani's former lover. This has been quote in the BTS, not incorporated into the IU sections. I also found video of the conference panel to transcribe a more accurate quote. Based on this OOU confirmation of what was implied IU, we've confidently placed Belaya in the category. Immi Thrax RainbowRebellion2.png (talk) 22:08, 15 August 2021 (UTC)


Atrisi system

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  1. The Artisinal system. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:39, 27 August 2021 (UTC)

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Suljo Warde

  • Nominated by: VergenceScatter (talk) 01:16, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First one, let's hope this goes well. Thanks to everyone who's helped me to get to the point that I feel confident enough to do this.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:FFGAMES

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Liverpool92
  • "Human" and "Male" or any other use of gender should be lowercase.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 14:47, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
    • "Human" is always capitalized in legends, but I've fixed the "male." VergenceScatter (talk) 19:43, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
Fan
  • Is "Assassins" meant to be capitalised in the intro? Fan26 (Talk) 14:08, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
  • "Warde, who would later save Marcolf’s life in return, believed that Marcolf, a Force-sensitive, had the potential to join the Jedi Order, so he brought the Mirialan with him to the planet Arbooine—where Warde had been laying the groundwork for a Republic outpost—with plans to eventually bring him to Coruscant[1], the capital of the Republic." This is a run-on, please rectify. Fan26 (Talk) 23:41, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
  • Context for Eriadu in the intro
  • The Republic seems like it could go in the infobox
  • Two of the quotes are missing punctuation
  • Images generally look better when they're placed below quotes, and doing it that way is more consistent with our other status articles
  • The Cato Neimoidia section should have another subsection rather than just one Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:24, 26 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • Note that Chronicles uses "Moraband" throughout, so I've elected to use that name in the article instead of "Korriban." VergenceScatter (talk) 22:39, 4 September 2021 (UTC)


Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant

  • Nominated by: Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 15:06, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First FAN.
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:GE

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Vergence
  • Any way you can add a "Skills and abilities" section? VergenceScatter (talk) 16:15, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Done. Added as much as i could which wasn't much.--Liverpool92Ackbar HS.jpg 10:45, 11 September 2021 (UTC)

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Tobler Ceel/Legends

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Fan
  • I think there's room for one related image, like Jar Jar or the control ship. Fan26 (Talk) 03:22, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • {{ForceCollection}} needs to be implemented.
  • Got a couple of dup links.
  • Is the ref at the end of the first "The heat of battle" paragraph intended to be to the film and not the novel? If so, that paragraph has duplicate references.
  • Seems like you're missing a word here: "...ordered the activation the shield generators."
  • A little more context on Anakin accidentally joining Bravo Flight would be appreciated, it's kind of unclear what that's supposed to mean right now.
  • On top of that, Anakin needs context for himself.
  • I'd recommend removing one of the instances of the word "general" from here, it could be confusing which general is which: "A majority of the Gungans were not able to escape, including the general, who was taken prisoner on the battlefield and held near the other officers, including General Binks."
  • P+T also has duplicate refs.
  • A little context on Chronicles? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:09, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
    • That should be everything, I've added context for Anakin and actually removed the parts about Bravo Flight, since it's not especialy relevant to the article topic Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:05, 26 September 2021 (UTC)

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New Centrif

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Jay

  • Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol.svg (talk) 15:27, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: YEET FIRST VISIONS SAN LEGGO. Don’t read this article until you watch “Tatooine Rhapsody” 🙂.
  • WookieeProject (optional):

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  • Special thanks to Editoronthewiki for helping get this article to the word count and expanding the biography, and to Supreme Emperor for adding the first image!


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