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This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.

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Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Jaden Korr

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:28, March 10, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see the article through the nomination process the last time. However, I have put a lot of work into this and would really like to try nominating it again. I have made my best effort to address the outstanding objections from the last nom, as well as making overall adjustments to the article, mostly having to do with paragraph size.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Nicely written. Supreme Emperor (talk) 05:30, June 14, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Clearly a ton of effort was put into this article. Deserves the nomination. Shayanomer (talk) 08:17, February 3, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Awesome stuff. Tomotron Revanchist Sith (talk) 09:18, February 5, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
Infobox / intro
  • Looking at the BTS and his appearance in Jedi Academy, I'm thinking that it would be best to leave off the circa 1 ABY birth date, unless there is more information backing this estimate up. From what is in the reference, all we have is one guy thinking that he appears to be about 40 in 41 ABY. Just because he appears to be forty, that doesn't mean that he actually is close to that age. He could be considerably older and just look younger. I'd still mention the age he appears in the P&T, but I don't think it is enough to specify a birth date from.
    • Age removed from infobox and bio. P&T slightly tweaked. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
Biography - Disciples of Ragnos crisis
  • Does the game identify the Falcon as a YT-1300 freighter or say that it was famous?
  • Based on recent review of the R5 droid, does the game call the droid an R5 unit? If not, it will need additional sourcing.
    • Yes, it specifically calls it an "R5 droid." QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game identify his fighter as a Z-95 Headhunter?
    • The game files for the ship refer to it as a Z-95. Also there exists a cheat code "spawn Z-95" that spawns Jaden's ship. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Do we know that the Blenjeel merchant ship was attacked by an Interdictor-class Star Destroyer. The article for the attack calls it an Immobilizer 418 cruiser, and the page for the Star Detroyer does not have Jedi Academy as an appearance.
    • The game refers to it as an "Interdictor cruiser." I'm not that great with starship designations, so I'm unsure which one it refers to. Any ideas? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game provide the full name for the T-65 X-wing starfighter?
  • "The battle was challenging for Korr" How does the game present this information?
    • Mostly just game mechanics, nothing really IU that states so. Reworded. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:38, October 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Is the name "Dreadnaught-class heavy cruiser" used by the game?
    • It's called an "Imperial dreadnaught" in the game. I've constructed an external ref; take a look if it works. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Does the game identify the ship at Korriban as an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer. Sourcing something as an Imperial II-class ship is a little more difficult unless the source specifies it.
Personality and Traits
  • "He preferred to keep his hair short, but he had let his facial hair grow out by 41 ABY, and he styled it in a neatly trimmed goatee," As you sourced the 41 BBY date to another reference in the biography, I am assuming the same needs to be done here as well.
  • "Korr was struggling with doubt regarding his role in the Force." I am a little confused here, what does the image under eternal thinker have to do with this phrase?
    • I was struggling to find any relevant images to illustrate that section to be honest. The idea was that the picture was a symbol of the Force, and Jaden struggled with finding his role in the Force…yeah, whatever. Removed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Other talents you have two straight references to Crosscurrent. Is one of them supposed to be something else or is it just a duplicate?
Equipment
  • Under this section you source 41 ABY to Crosscurrent which is inconsistent with how you sourced it earlier.
BTS - Character development
  • "Korr was originally going to be called Atton Rand..." For this one, do we know that Atton Rand was going to be the name of the main character? He could have been Rosh Penin or somebody else unless we have something more than the Easter egg quote to back that up.
    • Removed that part and the quote. There's no actual official word on this, AFAIK. Only widespread fan assumption that he meant Jaden. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Why is reference 11 (it appears to be dating the Battle of Hoth) used as a source in the second paragraph of the Character development section.
  • For the second paragraph of the character development section, I don't believe the sources provided are sufficient to back up that entire paragraph.
    • I fail to see the issue here. Are you talking about the first part of the paragraph? Which discusses how he went unreferenced? Well, how do you source someone not appearing somewhere? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:27, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
      • I think I misread what year the Fury novel was released and thought there were additional reference books that he appeared in before he was referenced.
  • Does the Crosscurrent novel mention a January 26, 2010 release date? I suspect that this will need additional referencing.
BTS - Character customization and appearance
  • "The first information on Korr's identity came from the 2005 reference book The New Essential Chronology, which addressed Korr as a "he," invalidating all female options in the game." I don't think you want to have the Battle of Hoth date to reference this.
  • "Although it did not necessarily specify his species, it excluded Rodian and Kel Dor from consideration, as those species are naturally hairless, only leaving Human as a possibility." Unless the novel mentions that those species do not have hair, you will need to source that to something else.
  • "such as the goatee that Korr wore as of 41 ABY" Is the 41 ABY date presented directly in the actual novel outside of any Del Rey timelines? If not, you will need to provided additional referencing.
BTS - Jedi Academy alternative ending
  • "confirmed to be proper in future Legends material" This needs to be sourced to something other than the game.
BTS - Errors and contradictions
  • "although Riptide does establish that Korr's appearances post-41 ABY are in the Iteration's body" Is the 41 ABY date presented directly in the actual novel outside of any Del Rey timelines? If not, you will need to provided additional referencing.
  • "This is incorrect, as the character does indeed appear in the latter novel." This cannot be sourced to the ERC.
  • There is some sort of error with reference 51.
  • "Through Khedryn Faal's estimation, Crosscurrent gives Korr's approximate age during the events of the novel as forty years old, which would put him at thirteen years old during the events of Jedi Academy, set in 14 ABY." Per what I said above, I don't think this an inconsistency as much as it is an incorrect estimation of his age.
  • "In Crosscurrent, Korr laments distancing himself from Valin Horn, indicating some sort of relationship between the two. After the publication of the novel, when asked what their relationship was, Kemp said that he could not reveal it yet." I don't think the referenced forum post is the correct one as I do not see any mention of Valin Horn.
  • "Riptide states that Korr entered the Jedi Praxeum nine years after the death of Emperor Palpatine, which occurred in 4 ABY, according to The New Essential Chronology." I would reference the first part of this sentence to Crosscurrent and then change then move the source into a reference. There really isn't any reason to include the source in the paragraph itself.
  • "However, the events of the Jedi Academy video game are actually dated to to 14 ABY, ten years after the Emperor's death, by The New Essential Chronology." This can't be sourced to Crosscurrent.
BTS - Ambiguous information
  • "Paul S. Kemp has stated that he intended Zeerid Korr, a character from The Old Republic: Deceived, his other novel set thousands of years before the events of Jedi Academy, to have been an ancestor of Jaden, however no Legends source confirmed that the two were indeed related." This cannot all be sourced to the tweet.
  • "Several times in Riptide, and even in certain parts of Crosscurrent before that, Kemp seemingly hints at the possibility of Korr himself being a part of Thrawn's cloning program, planted on Coruscant as a sleeper agent in his youth." As you reference Riptide and Crosscurrent, you cannot just source the entire sentence to Crosscurrent.
BTS - Canceled content
  • I'm not really seeing the point of including the Legends image in the BTS.
  • Could you add a quote to the Canceled content section? There appears to be one in the referenced interview that you can use.
  • I will give the article another pass once you look through these.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 00:36, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
Wave 2
  • Under Answering a distress call: The CSWE entry for Blenjeel mentions Korr's mission to the planet. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Under Hostage rescue: The CSWE entry for Nar Kreeta mentions Korr rescuing the elders on Nar Kreeta. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Under Apprehending Lannik Racto: The CSWE entry for Rax Joris references Korr's capture, which means that Korr went to Dosunn. Please adjust the game mechanics templates / BTS as needed.
  • Based on the Blenjeel, Nar Kreeta and Rax Joris entries, could you check to see if any likely related entries reference Korr going to any of the planets? You might be able to confirm more missions as official.
    • In addition to those, I've only been able to confirm the capture of Lannik Racto, based on his respective entry. None of the other optional missions are referenced in the CSWE, as far as I can tell. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:37, October 21, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under The fallen apprentice: "During the fight, the twins kept empowering Penin with life energy and augmenting his dark side abilities." Empowering Penin with life energy sounds a little too much like game mechanics. Does this mean that they were healing him? This could use to the be reworded.
  • Under Tomb of the Barsen'thor: "learning the third and final of the combat styles practiced by the New Jedi Order." You provided another reference for learning the last two styles when you mentioned it in the Power and abilities section.
  • Under Battle at the Krabbis Inn: "As the Solos prepared to leave with the sick Jedi, Korr and Arelis agreed to stay behind and cover up the mess before the Galactic Alliance Security, claiming that the Solos were never there during the fight and lying that they did not know how the Mandalorian with the intact armor had died, in order to hide the fact that the psychotic Jedi possessed such powerful abilities." This sentence is too long and needs to be broken up.
  • Under Moral Compass: "Korr always strove to uphold his orders, and he was ashamed that he had disobeyed Hamner's instructions by letting the Solos pass into the Council chambers, but he expected the couple to find a way to gain entrance anyway, and he felt that the Council deserved to listen to what they had to say." This sentence is too long and could use to be broken up.
  • Under Telekinesis, Force speed and jump: "Throughout his lifetime, Korr may have also learned Force powers ranging from Force protection, Force healing, and Force absorb to Force drain, Force rage, and Force choke." I know these are possible powers that can be chosen in the game, but the way this is being included here is speculation. I would either reword this to be less speculative or move this information to the BTS.
    • I do not really see a way to word this in a way to both preserve the ambiguity and not make it sound speculative. Moved that part to the Bts. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:42, October 22, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Dark side powers: "However, after reaching the end of his vision quest, Korr accepted what his Master had been trying to tell him all along, and he knew that he would never fall to the dark side as he knew it too well, feeling secure that he would now always have control of his powers and would never subconsciously summon lightning from his fingers." This sentence is a little long and rambling. Could you break it up / restructure it?
    • Split up into several sentences. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:42, October 22, 2018 (UTC)
  • Under Lightsaber mastery: "Korr was highly skilled with a lightsaber, echoing his master's swordsmanship. At first, he utilized the medium style but eventually mastered both the fast and strong styles." I think reference 40 is all that is needed to source the last part about the styles. Could you move reference 5 to just source the first sentence?
  • Under A Skillful Combatant: You have most of this section sourced to both the game and the strategy guide. If there are specific portions that need to be sourced to the guide, can you source those specific parts to the guide and source the rest to the game?
  • There is an "Exceptional Jedi Apprentice" in Jedi Academy (Star Wars Miniatures) that has a similar appearance to Jaden Korr. The piece gives him a yellow double-bladed lightsaber, which is kind of inconsistent. (It was a fairly common practice in the miniature game to have pieces that resembled characters that were named elsewhere.) Could you give a brief reference to think in the BTS?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 17:58, October 20, 2018 (UTC)
    • Added it into the "Ambiguous information" section. Seems like it fits best there. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:59, October 23, 2018 (UTC)
Wave 3
  • Does Riptide refer to Coruscant as the galactic capital?
    • No, it doesn't. Ref note added. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:31, November 17, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Purchasing a Flare-S swoop to make his way to the outpost" Does the source refer to it as a Flare-S swoop?
  • "Korr's subsequent portrayal in Crosscurrent and Riptide reaffirmed the description outlined in Abyss, explicitly stating that Korr was a Human and expanding on more details of his appearance, such as the goatee that Korr wore as of 41 ABY, which Kemp wrote in as a homage to Katarn, signifying the fact that Korr leaned heavily on his Master's teachings during his crisis of faith." This sentence could use to be reworded / broken up.
  • "The other customizable feature in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy is the possibility to choose the hilt variation and the blade color of Korr's lightsaber at the beginning of the game and the option to build a new saber, two new lightsabers or a double-bladed one after the mission to Vjun, with in-game dialogue stating that Korr's first lightsaber was destroyed on Vjun." This sentence could use to be reworded / broken up.
  • "In Crosscurrent, the clone Alpha casts a "knowing look" at Korr and calls him "one of us," referring to the Community of clones, and the early chapters of Riptide feature a scene set on the Sith world of Korriban, in which Sith Lord Darth Wyyrlok and the Umbaran Nyss Nenn see a recording of Korr's fight with Alpha on the frozen moon." This sentence could use to be restructured / broken up.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:39, November 10, 2018 (UTC)
    • Addressed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:31, November 17, 2018 (UTC)
      • It has become known to me that the INQ have somewhat refined their stance on "special refs" used to source starship classes. It seems like in many cases, those refs are no longer needed, as those classes fall under the duck test clause. Personally, I do agree with this line of thinking; I'd always thought that's how it should work. EJ, I'd like to ask you to take a look at your previous objections regarding those issues and tell me whether you think those refs I added are still necessary. I'm always open to an IRC discussion if we'll have conflicting opinions on the matter. Thank you, QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:48, February 20, 2019 (UTC)
  • With the above comment, I think that the following can probably use the duck test:
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:44, April 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • T-65 X-wing starfighter
    • Dreadnaught-class heavy cruiser
    • Flare-S Swoop
  • I think the others probably need the references because they aren't as easy to duck test.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:16, March 15, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
Toprawa
  • Reference 45 is broken.
    • Removed. That was a leftover from EJ's objections, one of the refs that we'd agreed upon being unnecessary. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:10, April 19, 2019 (UTC)
  • Please format SW.com DB entry names correctly in the Sources list. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:39, April 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • Not mandatory, of course, but audio files would be nice. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:50, April 15, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm trying to understand the meaning of what is in the infobox death field. He died on/in this Mother thing? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • If Essential Reader's Companion states explicitly that Jaden Korr dies aboard Mother in 41 ABY and that his consciousness is transferred into the Iteration clone body, which it certainly appears to, the manual ref note in reference 2 is unnecessary. You can just source that straight to ERC without further elaboration. And it would appear you can then use that same reference for everything in the infobox's species field. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:08, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • It would be good to link the Centerpoint Station superweapon itself in the intro. Shayanomer (talk) 09:56, January 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • "...accidentally acquired a scar on his right cheek...." I believe this can be worded better, like "accidentally scarred his right cheek".
    • Reworded per your suggestion.
  • "...the Imperials somehow obtained the young Korr's genetic sample..." I would personally remove "somehow" from here.
    • Removed.
  • "His uncle, scared that the boy might harm someone with the weapon, reported him to the New Republic authorities on Coruscant..." This can be reworded more formally.
    • Done.
  • "...he met a fellow recruit, Rosh Penin, who was very impressed with Korr's lightsaber and proceeded to ask him how he got it." Again, more formal wording would work better here.
    • Done.
  • "...and some sort of energy pulsed between the scepter and the massive structure." Same issue here.
    • Done.
  • "The incursion by the unknown forces, which resembled some sort of a Sith cult..." "some sort of" can be removed.
    • Done.
  • "...as did the fact that the aura around the temple had felt wrong since the attack." The word "wrong" can be substituted with something else as it isn't really a good descriptor.
    • Reworded.
  • Padawan/Legends could've been pipelinked to the very first mention of "students". Shayanomer (talk) 10:29, January 26, 2020 (UTC)
Teaming up with Chewbacca
  • "...disclosed the information he had gathered from his contacts." Disclosed to who? The preceding sentence mentions Chewbacca so that also needs to be made clear here.
  • "The sole fact that the mercenaries were expensive led Katarn to believe that the Imperial Remnant was probably financing the cult." This can be reworded more formally.
Incursion on Bakura
  • "A Bakuran team sent to investigate on the intrusion had never made it back." "Returned" would be a better substitute for "made it back".
    • Changed it.
  • "A Bakuran team sent to investigate on the intrusion had never made it back. Skywalker assigned Korr to the mission, asking him to wait for Katarn's arrival before dislodging the unknown forces from the power plant." This is quite confusing. The "mission" itself isn't elaborated upon until later in the sentence. Perhaps the mission can be pipelinked to another verb after rewording this? As it stands, the wording implies Korr was a member of the first team that was dispatched and not a separate assignment.
    • I see how that could be confusing. Reworded.
  • "However, tired of sitting idle, Korr decided to explore the vicinity of the plant alone." "Tired of sitting idle" can be substituted with something better.
Answering a distress call
  • "Around that time, the Jedi Academy picked up a distress call..." The sentence opener should be more specific to Korr's previous mission.
Saving Coronet
  • "...the Jedi received a distress call from the pilot of a maglev train attacked by the cultists and their mercenaries." Since this is much further down the article, "cultists" should be substituted with the "Sith cultists" mentioned earlier.
    • I actually think it would be even better to add the clarification in the previous sentence: ...members of the Sith cult...
  • "As he reached the middle of the train, he had to deactivate a bomb protected by another Dark Jedi." He "had to" can be reworded into something better.
    • Reworded.
  • "To prevent the potential catastrophic damage of that terrorist act..." that --> the.
    • I think "such" is more suitable here, actually.
  • "Later, Master Skywalker summoned all available Jedi to inform them on the course of the investigation on the cult. The Jedi Master stated that the person who had sliced into his records had stolen his journal containing the names of places where he had found a very strong connection to the Force. The Massassi temple on which the cultists had used the scepter had also lost its dark side aura, which had been somehow absorbed by the artifact. Worried of what the enemy was planning, Skywalker sent the Jedi to various places mentioned in his journal." Does "all available Jedi" and "the Jedi" include Korr? If so, that needs to be made clear here.
    • Done.
  • "...which had been somehow absorbed by the artifact." "somehow" is an informal adverb and should be removed to keep with the formal tone.
Arrival on Hoth
  • "...the young apprentice had to get rid of the..." "had to get rid" can be reworded into something more formal.
Battle with Alora
  • "...and though initially evenly matched Korr soon began to gain the upper hand." A comma after "evenly matched" would help here.
    • Added.
  • "This lead Alora to flee..." Grammatical error here.
    • I've rewritten the sentence, getting rid of this.
  • "...Korr's and Katarn's datacard report..." Another one here. Shayanomer (talk) 13:21, January 27, 2020 (UTC)
Hostage rescue
  • "...who offered the Jedi to take shelter inside the outpost in order to hide from the gangsters." This can be reworded better.
Raid on Kril'Dor
  • "During that time, New Republic Intelligence discovered an..." Opener should be more specific to Korr's previous mission.
Following Penin's trail
  • "Master Skywalker recalled all Jedi to Yavin 4, informing them that the cult had already siphoned power from every place mentioned in his journal, as well as some that Skywalker had deliberately left out, like Dagobah. Afraid that the Disciples would pierce together clues that would lead them to other places with Force auras, he assigned the Jedi to investigate those secretive locations. The Jedi were instructed to work in pairs to avoid disasters like Penin's capture." If "all Jedi" includes Korr, he should be specified as well. The following sentence also states Katarn and Korr were one of the pairs, which should be added to this paragraph.
  • "Katarn and Korr navigated the wilderness of Vjun, travelling through the acid rain and encountering heavy cult opposition, including the New Reborn dark side users. Those Dark Side Adepts were the remnants of the Reborn, a group of Force-users previously used by the Dark Jedi Desann,..." The wording implies "Dark Side Adepts" can be linked in the preceding sentence. Also, were the adepts "used" figuratively or literally? It should be made clear here.
The fallen apprentice
  • "Penin was accompanied by the Kothos twins, Vil and Dasariah, the two men Korr had seen on Yavin." Context for Korr seeing them previously would be good to add here, since they aren't linked before this sentence.
  • "As Penin lay disarmed on the floor, the leader of the cult, Tavion Axmis, whom Korr had also seen on Yavin, chose to appear at that moment." Same suggestion here, it would work alongside the first objection for this section. Shayanomer (talk) 14:35, January 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • All of the above should be addressed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:32, January 29, 2020 (UTC)
A vision from the Force
  • "The vision's directions seemed like nonsense,..." "seemed like nonsense" can be reworded into something more formal.
  • YT-2400 light freighter/Legends, the ship's model, can be linked with another mention of Junker, substituting it for a word like "freighter".
  • Likewise, there are too many repeated mentions of Junker in this section and the ones after this, which can easily be replaced with other nouns. Also related to this, mentions of Junker should be preceded with "the", like "the Ghost" or "the Millennium Falcon".
    • Regarding the second part of this objection, the ship is referred to this way based on the original sources. Kenp's novels exclusively refer to the scavenger ships as "Junker" and "Flotsam," not "the Junker" or "the Flotsam." QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:48, January 29, 2020 (UTC)
Descent on the moon
  • "...and Faal reluctantly did just that." This can be worded better.
Attaining clarity
  • "...who had been hunting Korr since Fhost,..." Brief context for the events on Fhost would be helpful here.
Enter Soldier
  • "After more than thirty years, Korr finally discovered that there existed a clone of himself..." Context for why "30 years" is significant should be added.
Aboard Mother
  • The image in this section should be resized, moved, or have its caption modified to prevent the heading below from being moved. Shayanomer (talk) 17:12, January 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • Hmm, it wasn't interfering with the heading for me, but I guess it depends on the screen resolution. I've moved it one paragraph up just in case; if it still not enough, then I'll make further adjustments. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:13, January 30, 2020 (UTC)
    • All other issues above have been addressed as well. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:14, January 30, 2020 (UTC)
Relationships: Khedryn Faal and Marr Idi-Shael
  • Just a minor gripe, but I don't think you should describe R6 in this section without renaming the section to mention the droid. Shayanomer (talk) 19:35, January 31, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thinking about it, I believe that the mention of R6 might fit better in the "Attachment to personal belongings" section. What's your take on this? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:47, February 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yeah that fits a lot better since an astromech droid is considered a personal belonging. Shayanomer (talk) 08:02, February 3, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

The Barsen'thor

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:57, March 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Because I don't like leaving things unfinished.

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

Added it to Wookieepedia:WookieeProject The Old Republic's FAN section. Good work. Fan26 (Talk) 18:46, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  1. Fan26 (Talk) 16:18, December 1, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Awesome work on the article. Tomotron Revanchist Sith (talk) 09:28, February 5, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Shayanomer (talk) 15:48, February 5, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • No clue how this made it almost seven months without any objections or support votes. But I digress. At the bottom of the page, under I believe either "Skills and Abilities" or "Personality and traits", the following appears: "In addition to speaking Galactic Basic Standard, the Barsen'thor was versed in many languages of the galaxy. He could understand Dosh,[2] Gand,[23] Binary,[30] Nikto[37] Jawaese,[42] Shyriiwook,[51] Sullustese, Selkath,[59] Rakata[75] Esh-kha[77] and Mandaba.[89] In addition, the Barsen'thor was a skilled pilot, successfully performing many flight missions for the Coruscant Aegis under the callsign "Guardian."[4]" Does the instance of him speaking Sullestese and Selkath occur in the same scenario, therefore both are sourced to ref 59? Fan26 (Talk) 02:16, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • Correct, those two languages are featured in the same mission, hence why they are grouped under a single ref. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:19, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Around that time, a sickness known as the Dark Plague struck the Jedi Order once again, driving Jedi Masters across the galaxy insane" This might just be my feeling, but the way the sentence is phrased is like the Dark Plague was mentioned elsewhere in the article, though this is the first mention of it. Would you consider revising the sentence?
  • "The Jedi Master was still missing five years later when an alliance of various factions was formed against the Eternal Empire." Do you think the word "against" should link to Revolt against the Eternal Empire? Fan26 (Talk) 14:23, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • " The Children were unwitting deep-cover agents of the Empire who shared a Force connection with the leader of the Empire, the allegedly immortal Sith Emperor Vitiate himself. " I think "unwitting" should actually be "unwilling".
    • Unwitting: adj. Not knowing; unaware: an unwitting subject in an experiment. I think it better describes their position, don't you think? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:35, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
      • Good point.
  • In the "Disappearance and Death" section, the tomb's caption reads "Barsen'thor's tomb on Chandrila". I think "The" should be added to the beginning of it, since it's a title and not a name. Fan26 (Talk) 14:51, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • Added. If you see such minor mistakes, you are more than welcome to fix them yourself. You don't have to ask the nominator's permission every time :) QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:35, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
    • That's good to know, thank you. Those were the last things I saw.Fan26 (Talk) 18:46, October 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • I realized that since the character was confirmed to be male, we know which voice it canonically has. Would it be possible to get audio for the quotes where 'he' speaks? Fan26 (Talk) 16:46, November 29, 2018 (UTC)
    • I'll see what I can do, though having audio files is not a requirement for status articles, merely a recommendation. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:12, November 30, 2018 (UTC)
      • I'm aware, it was just an afterthought. I'm going ahead and striking this-no reason to hold up the nom with this one thing. Fan26 (Talk) 16:17, December 1, 2018 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • The LG places {{otheruses}} above any header templates.
  • I understand you want to avoid repetition and vary between usages of Barsen'thor/the Jedi/the Consular, but it gets somewhat confusing in some parts of the intro as I'm not 100% sure to what something is referring. Example: "Learning an ancient Force ability called the shielding technique from the Noetikon devices, the Jedi traveled from planet to planet, using the technique to sever the sick Jedi Masters from the influence of Lord Vivicar, the Sith mastermind behind the plague." Seeing as you talk about Jedi Masters in the previous sentence, it's not inconceivable that "the Jedi traveled" refers to the Masters rather Barsen'thor.
    • Made some adjustments. Please take another look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:27, October 8, 2018 (UTC)
  • "the Barsen'thor participated in the fight against the Children of the Emperor." Is there/should there be an article for this particular fight/crisis/whatever?
  • "The Children were unwitting deep-cover agents of the Empire who shared a Force connection with the leader of the Empire, the allegedly immortal Sith Emperor Vitiate himself. The Children had infiltrated deep within the ranks of the Republic, their presence masked by the power of the mysterious First Son." I feel like dedicating two whole sentences to context is a bit excessive when it comes to the intro. See if you could condense this a bit. 1358 (Talk) 21:36, October 7, 2018 (UTC)
  • I made some further tweaks in the intro, particularly trimming some context I found excessive. Please have a look and see if that's okay.
  • "During the Battle of Corellia, the Consular discovered that the First Son was in fact a sleeper persona implanted inside Jedi Master Syo Bakarn" I feel like it's a bit misleading to link Sleep/Legends here, as sleeper agents don't really have anything to do with the act of sleeping.
    • I might have gotten a little carried away while trying to improve overall linking in the article. Removed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:54, October 11, 2018 (UTC)
  • Seeing as we know the exact dates for the resurgence of the Sith Empire and the Cold War, I think it'd be a good idea to put these in the early bio to establish some sort of timeframe for the reader.
  • Before I start with the rest of the bio, please keep the location of {{Main}} consistent. Right now it's below the quote template in some places and above in others. I don't think we have any policy on this, but personally I think it looks better placed above the quote template (think of it as a header template of sorts). 1358 (Talk) 19:13, October 9, 2018 (UTC)
  • Arrival: The paragraph that starts with "Par told the apprentice the information..." barely mentions the Barsen'thor and it feels like it's too much context. See if you can trim it some. 1358 (Talk) 17:59, December 8, 2018 (UTC)
    • Reworded to focus a bit more on the Barsen'thor. I don't think that the context in this paragraph can be completely cut, though. It's all kinda necessary, IMO. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:54, December 15, 2018 (UTC)
  • Defending the Forge: "the Consular deeply concentrated and used the machine to create a working lightsaber. Upon creating the lightsaber, he barely had time to test it before Raloch appeared" This feels a bit redundant, with the double mention of the lightsaber creation in close succession. 1358 (Talk) 19:47, April 26, 2019 (UTC)
  • Into the Black Sun's den: "Black Sun, a local criminal gang, had turned the cantina's back rooms into some sort of secret warehouse." This sentence is purely context and as such it feels a bit disconnected to the rest of the prose. See if you can integrate it better somehow.
    • Done.
  • Into the Black Sun's den: "wherein they met a Human Doctor called Maer." Why are we capitalizing "doctor" here? It's fine in the next sentence if the source material calls him "the Doctor", but in this sentence, I see no reason to capitalize it.
    • No, the source material does not specifically call him the Doctor, so I've decapitalized it.
  • Into the Black Sun's den: The paragraph that starts with "According to one of the patients" doesn't mention the subject of this article once. Please cut down on the excessive context. 1358 (Talk) 11:18, July 19, 2019 (UTC)
    • Cut down on some of the extraneous details. Please take a look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:21, July 27, 2019 (UTC)
      • It still feels a bit excessive, to be honest. You have three consecutive sentences that are purely context. See if you can cut down even more and maybe merge the paragraph with the following one.
  • Learning the ritual: "The sickness had been encountered by the Jedi Order before only once." This sentence feels a bit abrupt and detached, see if you can somehow integrate it better with the rest of the paragraph; maybe merge it with the next sentence, which also has just one clause.
  • Learning the ritual: Before I go ahead and finish reviewing this section (and article), please go through it and cut down on some of the excessive context. In the first paragraph of this section, you have eight consecutive sentences before the article subject is mentioned once. This is a recurring issue in the article (as evidenced by my review), so you might want to go through the entire thing and see if you can trim excessive context. 1358 (Talk) 20:52, August 9, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've trimmed the unnecessary details throughout the bio. Everything left is necessary context, IMO, so I'd like to approach the rest on a case-by-case basis if you feel there are still extraneous info. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:17, August 18, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
  • Would it be possible to obtain more images? Some of the sections and subsections can look pretty intimidating for the reader. If further subsectioning is possible, that would help, too. Imperators II(Talk) 12:35, May 18, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've done some splitting of some of the larger sections, while adding a few images here and there. Please take another look. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:39, May 30, 2019 (UTC)
  • Is it not possible to utilize {{TORcite}} in refs 105 and 107, as well? Imperators II(Talk) 10:53, June 1, 2019 (UTC)
  • Ref 13: You're using the ref to source the date 3643 BBY for the Jedi Consular class, but the ref itself actually only dates the Jedi Knight, Smuggler, and Trooper classes to that year. Either the reference should be expanded to a manual ref note, or perhaps the dating template itself needs to be amended. And I'm not seeing why ref 13 is used upon its second instance in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 14:29, June 12, 2019 (UTC)
    • Took me a while to figure out how to tackle this, but I think I've figured out a way to reword/expand this. Hopefully, it's not too convoluted. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:58, June 19, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Gaining a trusted ally" — the quote's missing some punctuation. Is the omission coming from the source? Imperators II(Talk) 16:23, January 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • No, it's coming from my own derpiness. Fixed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:49, January 6, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Article says he died. Is there a reason why the infobox is missing this information? Shayanomer (talk) 11:15, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Based on current sources, we can only estimate his death date to have occured at some point between 3638 BBY (last confirmed appearance in Shadow of Revan) and 14 ABY (confirmed to be dead by that point due to the appearance of his tomb in Jedi Academy). To say that a character died at some point during an almost 4000 year-long period is just stating obvious information and is in no way useful to the reader. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:34, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Same thing for his birth. A rough date would be appreciated. Shayanomer (talk) 12:06, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Since we do not know how old the character is at the start of SWTOR's class story, best I can do regarding the birth date is "some years before 3643 BBY" or somesuch. And I'm also reluctant to add this, to be honest. If we first encounter a character in a story set in 3 ABY, obviously that character had to have been born at some point before 3 ABY. We don't have to state the obvious. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:34, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • Very well. I was only curious since I'm totally not familiar with TOR, as are many readers. Shayanomer (talk) 12:37, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to use a "canon" appearance for the infobox image? Shayanomer (talk) 12:49, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • There is no confirmed canon appearance, as the in-game avatar is customizable by the player. Even though the gender has been confirmed in a FFG book, there's still a ton of variations in terms of species and visual appearance. Images such as this are merely promotional images orbitrarily chosen to illustrate the character. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:59, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
Helping the Teral
  • "The Jedi asked to be made the House's delegate, but there were complications to that." This can be reworded better.
    • Reworded.
  • "They planned to form an alliance with the Organa through a marriage..." Is "the Organa" actually referring to House Organa? A little confusing here. Shayanomer (talk) 13:49, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yes, it was referring to the House. I've clarified that. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:57, February 5, 2020 (UTC)
Battle with the plaguemaster
  • "In fact, Vivicar was merely a vessel for the spirit of Morrhage..." A better sentence opener can be used here.
    • Reworded.
  • "...a rare and distinguished title that only two Jedi had held in the millennia before." Would be good to specify who the two Jedi are in the paragraph. Shayanomer (talk) 15:00, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
Revelation on Quesh
  • "Determined to rescue the scientists, Nadia unexpectedly for the Consular demonstrated that she was in fact Force-sensitive,..." Grammatical error here.
Restoring troop morale
  • "The captain seemed to survive anything the Coalition Forces could throw at him and seemed invincible. In addition to that, Valon had recently stolen a thermal bore device that could crack Hoth's ice shelf and could potentially destroy the Republic base." Parts of this can be reworded more formally.
Blaesus exposed
  • Third paragraph is missing a reference at the end. Shayanomer (talk) 15:26, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
Battling the Order of Revan
  • The image in this section is moving the heading below. Try resizing it to alleviate this issue. Shayanomer (talk) 16:24, February 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Moved the image, made it a bit smaller, and also evened out the length of paragraphs in this section. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:20, February 5, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Issues from the previous nomination have been addressed. Paragraph size has been significantly reduced, and some long sections have been split up. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:57, March 13, 2018 (UTC)


Zsinj (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ 102 due to large changes.
  • Date added: May 5, 2019

(+1)

Support

  1. Inqvote Impatiently waiting for Zsinj: A Star Wars Story. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:22, September 2, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • There are some fairly large paragraphs that should be broken up. The first paragraph in the intro and the second paragraph in Zsinj's rank and uniform especially stand out.
    • This is a purely subjective criticism, and I don't see a problem with the way it is now, so honestly, at this point I really wish people who want the paragraphs broken up would just break them up themselves. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • It has been brought to my attention that my effort to suppress my natural tendency toward assholery has been inadequate, but I wanted to take some time to think before I attempted to clarify this. First, you may note that at the same time I posted this, I also posted below noting that a redux review was a good idea. I appreciate the leniency I have been granted and the opportunity to improve my work. However, this objection has been the most frustrating one for me because I honestly see no issue with the layout of the article as it stands. As far as I can see, it looks fine in both the full version and in FANDOM's annoying little javascript preview window, and I feel that splitting up the paragraphs any further would just be an effort to cater to the short attentions spans of users who belong on one of FANDOM's other fine sites and not Wookieepedia. My previous message was literally an invitation to other users to collaborate on this objection, and I apologize if my tone caused it to be taken differently. I have no {{inuse}} tag on this article, and Inquisitors have advocated the {{sofixit}} rule in the past, so this seemed like a logical idea. However, if this is unacceptable, then I ask that you please list all the paragraphs with which you take issue so I may implement the mutilation of the article in one fell swoop and not prolong the agony. Thank you. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 13:33, May 12, 2019 (UTC)
  • You mention all of the equipment from Cracken's Threat Dossier, but there are other items listed in Rebellion Era Sourcebook that are not mentioned.
  • There appear to be some relevant skills in Zsinj's entry from Cracken's Threat Dossier that are not referenced in the article.
    • Added everything that seems relevant that hasn't already been touched on somehow. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:26, May 25, 2019 (UTC)
  • Cracken's Threat Dossier mentions that he cannot lie convincingly despite years of practice. This should be in the P&T.
    • I'm going to have to finesse this one a bit, since his appearances in the Wraith Squadron books are nothing but lying. 😐 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • Are there any quotes that can be added to the BTS? I see that there is an archived page where Allston discusses his novels.
  • Looking at Allston's FAQ, it looks like some information could probably be added to the BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 03:16, May 6, 2019 (UTC)
    • I'm not entirely sure how to address these two. The FAQ is mostly about the books and the writing. I may have to wedge a whole nother section into my BTS. 😐 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:26, May 25, 2019 (UTC)
    • Actually, I'm going to have to request some clarification here. This objection is kind of vague, and I'm not sure exactly what you expect me to add. I don't really know how much of Allston's FAQ really applies directly to Zsinj's biography. BTS sections are very much not my forte, so I would appreciate some guidance as to what you think is appropriate. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:00, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
      • The section about Zsinj being defeated by Solo under Iron Fist has the author speaking about Zsinj's tactics and the inspiration for that battle. I think that is worthy of being included in the article BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:42, June 1, 2019 (UTC)
        • Alright, well, as much as I hate BTS sections, I think I managed to squeeze a few good bits in. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:56, June 13, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
Tommy
  • Duplicate links.
    • The only duplicate link now remaining according to the standard dupe checker is a pipelink in the BTS that I think is needed to add some detail without excess verbosity. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
      • Honestly I would prefer a couple more words to give context than a duplicate link. WP:MOS#Linking is pretty abiding. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 15:33, June 30, 2019 (UTC)
        • Fair enough. Last dupe link nuked. Although I could get into a semantic argument about the use of the word "should" in the MOS, but it's just easier to make the change. 😁 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:34, July 1, 2019 (UTC)
  • If multiple references are used, they should be arranged in ascending order.
    • Refs are all now sorted in the order first used in the article. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
  • Images with spaces in their names should use underscores instead.
  • Some images are missing size specifiers.
  • I'm going to object to the use of "<!-- information -->" in the sources list. They detract from the formal nature of the article, even in the editing screen, and should only be used when necessary, like to draw attention to a common misconception. These notes on sources aren't necessary, and would be much more befitting on a personal workbench. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:23, June 27, 2019 (UTC)
    • That's fine, they'll be in the history if I need them. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:13, June 29, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
  • The audiobook adaptations of the novels in the Appearances should be checked and added to the list if necessary. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 05:29, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
    • Can you clarify this objection? Unless you know of a specific discrepancy, I think we should assume that the audiobooks are identical to the text. We don't even have separate articles for the audiobooks of the X-wing series, which is true for the VAST majority of books. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:11, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
      • I have taken care of the audiobooks myself, please feel free to change anything I have added. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:16, July 25, 2019 (UTC)
  • I think the article could use some more mentions of BBY/ABY dates for its events. The dates in the infobox, in particular, are kinda infobox-exclusive.
    • Added birth and death dates, working on adding other dates. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 20:49, August 4, 2019 (UTC)
    • Alright, I added a date reference for every unambiguous, verifiable year change during his life, plus a few more in the aftermath. Anything else would be gratuitous, I think. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 14:34, August 5, 2019 (UTC)
  • I'm okay if you feel there is no proper room for it, but I think this image depicting the borders of Zsinj's Empire could be useful somewhere in the article body. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 07:47, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
    • I think it works. Slid it in right before his downfall, and put the Dathomir picture in a more logical place. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 21:01, August 4, 2019 (UTC)
  • The article is inconsistent about the use of dash in "nonhuman/non-human." Please revise.
  • Isn't Gamma-9104, the enhanced Gamorrean individual, notable enough to have its own article? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 08:28, July 21, 2019 (UTC)
  • The article is inconsistent about the capitalization of Nightcloak. Please revise.
    • Sources are inconsistent on this. Courtship starts lowercase, then we go to uppercase in Fact Files, then back to lowercase in CSWE, then back to uppercase in the Imperial Handbook (I didn't check ALL the sources, but I assume there's a similar level of inconsistency throughout). So I'm just going to go with the latest word on it and capitalize. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the first and third paragraphs of BTS, can the release dates (months, to be specific) be sourced directly to the novels?
    • For the novels, yes. Each one has something along the lines of "A Bantam Spectra Book / February 1998" on the copyright page. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • Same question for Cracken's Threat Dossier and The Official Star Wars Fact File 83.
    • I actually can't figure out WHERE we got the dates for these, but I'm going to take some time to hunt them down before I rework my BTS for the umpteenth time. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • Mmkay, nailed down CTD to about the most official possible source, which was a pain since checking that source is like consulting a Ouija board, but I got it. Still working on the Fact File. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:05, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
    • Finally figured out where the date came from. 2015 Wookieepedia was a savage and lawless place. But I made it work. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 22:23, August 24, 2019 (UTC)
  • In the fourth BTS paragraph, I don't think Allston's death in 2014 can be sourced to that FAQ.
    • Sourced the death date to a source just one step removed from the coroner himself. 😁 -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:05, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
      • Never thought we would use a funeral home page on the Wook. :D TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 14:11, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • Also about that FAQ, its {{Cite_web}} suggests that it was released in 2013; however, there are 2012 captures of the page on Wayback Machine.
    • I was going by the "last updated" date at the bottom of the page on the final archived version. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • (Not an objection) Maybe that's just my personal opinion, but I'm not a huge fan of Wikipedia links in in-universe sections of articles. If it was up to me, I'd just remove the Wikipedia link for handlebar moustache in that image caption, but I am leaving that up to you.
    • I know I don't often like to make concessions to user-friendliness, but since Wookieepedia is not a dictionary and I have no idea how prevalent this term is outside of North America, I feel this is justified, just this once. Though I did move the link into the article body, which I should have done long ago. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 02:40, August 16, 2019 (UTC)
  • "Project Funeral was an ambitious endeavor." "Zsinj's plan for recovery was fairly simple." "The Battle of Selaggis was not a long one." "In Solo's characteristic fashion, he resigned his commission, kidnapped Leia, and took her to his planet." There are several sentences in the article, such as these, that kinda feel like you are slightly presenting events from your own point of view. Of course, I can't be certain without reading at least large portions of the novels, so I'll just take your word for it. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:17, August 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • Before anyone thinks I've forgotten about this, I was only informed that this was actually an objection even though it wasn't really worded like one ("I'll just take your word for it") on the 24th. Unfortunately, I haven't had time to work on it yet due to being laid up with a rather unpleasant medical issue. I'll get to it as soon as I regain the mental capacity to edit my own writing and am physically able to reliably feel my fingers, and I humbly request the Inquisitorius grant a stay of execution in the interim. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 00:34, August 29, 2019 (UTC)
    • Okay, I'm going to address some of these with rebuttals, so I apologize in advance if I seem a bit ornery.
      1. "Project Funeral was an ambitious endeavor." Per CSWE, "Project Funeral One of Warlord Zsinj's most ambitious actions against the New Republic." Ref added.
      2. "Zsinj's plan for recovery was fairly simple." -- No argument here. This one was actually better off reworked anyway. 😛
      3. "The Battle of Selaggis was not a long one." Per The Essential Reader's Companion, "The Iron Fist’s hyperdrive is ruined by Gara, momentarily stranding the ship in the Selaggis system." (emphasis mine) -- Reference added.
      4. "In Solo's characteristic fashion, he resigned his commission, kidnapped Leia, and took her to his planet." The Essential Reader's Companion says "In true Corellian scoundrel fashion, he ventures into the seamy underworld of Coruscant and enters into a high-stakes sabacc game, emerging as the winner of an obscure planet, Dathomir. He then kidnaps Leia and takes her to this world, all in a desperate effort to impress upon her how important she is to him." Additionally, Cracken's Threat Dossier references "Solo's rather 'unorthodox' methods of problem-solving" shortly before describing the kidnapping, though it doesn't apply the descriptor as directly to the kidnapping itself as the ERC does. My point, though, is that it's hardly news that Han Solo is a swashbuckling pirate, so it shouldn't be considered a matter of opinion to describe him as such.
    • Please let me know if there are any other instances of excessively florid language that need adjustment. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 16:24, September 2, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

  • So Redux is still a thing? Probably a good idea. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 12:33, May 10, 2019 (UTC)


Gita

  • Nominated by: Shayanomer (talk) 20:33, January 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first Featured nomination. Hope this one goes as smoothly as possible.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. Good job. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:27, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Nice one. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 13:18, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:23, June 8, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ben
  • Is there not a quote you can use for the recruitment section? If not, you could split the intro quote at the top (or swap it out for another quote) as that is suitable for the section.
  • The Chaos on Arvina section is quite small to be its own section. I would suggest merging it with the one below as a section about Gita's service with Valance and the crew.
  • Gwi's article says he is the leader of Hidden Hand. You could add that to his description.
  • An {{Imagecat}} is needed at the appearances section. Ben sc01t (talk) 21:21, January 25, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's the quote with Gwi describing her skills, which I moved to the top. She only speaks Tusken until the fourth issue, and the sections covering the issues after that already have quotes. That being said, addressing the second objection has also resolved the first one. The other objections have also been addressed. Shayanomer (talk) 07:34, January 26, 2020 (UTC)
Fan
  • In the "Skrimish on Heva" subsection: "Her actions gave Valance enough time to dash towards the Sith and activate an electro-pulse. However, he failed to activate the device in time" The first sentence says Gita was able to buy Valance time to rush forward and activate the electro-pulse, while the next contradicts this by saying he failed to activate it in time. This should be clarified. Fan26 (Talk) 19:56, January 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • How does it look now? Shayanomer (talk) 06:39, January 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the "Early life" subsection: I think "meat" can link to Foodstuff. "bled out" can link to Blood while the pipelink to Death can be moved to the instance of "kill" in the next sentence. Fan26 (Talk) 21:43, March 12, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Valance ordered Gita to stay behind and provide long-range support while the rest of the team met with Fetya in Fetya's Hollow, stating that he didn't trust her. It's unclear who Valance didn't trust in this sentence, Fetya or Gita. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:56, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • However, Valance failed to activate the device in time and was immediately betrayed by Dengar when he electrocuted the cyborg, leading to the cyborg's capture. Please avoid the repetition of the word "cyborg" here.
  • Overall, the second paragraph of "Skirmish on Heva" feels a bit play-by-play. The sentence about Valance always suspecting her true identity especially feels out of place and could be better integrated into the prose. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:56, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed the above. Hopefully the revised paragraph flows better now. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 11:13, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Could you please add that Valance did not believe she was a Tusken Raider from the beginning and his reason for it?
  • I think on one occasion Gita uses the phrase May the Force be with us, which suggests she believed in the Force. I think you can add that to the Personality and traits section.
  • "Gita and Valance were caught off-guard when Fain and Honnah suddenly rushed towards Vader, shattering her mask. With her face exposed, she then rushed to an injured Valance." I don't fully understand how her mask is shattered exacly. Could you please clarify that?
  • This is kinda nitpicky, but I think it's the third issue of Target Vader that confirms Gita was indeed speaking Tusken while disguised as Urrr'k. So it'd better to source that bit to issue #3 instead of #2.
  • Would you mind rewording the caption for the image in "Residing on Lowik"? It looks kinda silly as Gita literally says she doesn't trust Valance either in that comic panel.
  • I think you should detail Gita's getup on Mytar in the Equipment section. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Some preliminaries: immediately, some of these images jump out to me as being very small. Is there a way to recrop the "Gita reveals her identity to Valance", "Gita was trained to be a hunter", and "Gita provided covering fire" ones so they're not in such a wide aspect ratio? This would allow them to be enlarged so we can see what's happening in them.
    • Done. Do they fit the page better now? Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 18:28, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yeah, those are so much better. Tommy-Macaroni 18:51, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is she actually an Agent (note capitalisation) of the Alliance? As in, did she hold the specific rank of Agent, or is she just described as a "rebel agent" or something? If it's the latter, the link to agent needs to be removed, and I'd also modify the category. See the most recent EC log for further details on this.
    • Link and category removed. I think "Impersonators" should suffice here. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 18:28, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • If a piece of information has multiple ref notes, they need to be in ascending order. Tommy-Macaroni 18:02, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • We currently don't have any category linking her to the Alliance.
    • "Alliance to Restore the Republic members" added. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for Mytar, Heva, and Lowik in the intro please.
  • "As Urrr'k, Gita was recruited by the Hidden Hand's leader, Gwi, as part of a team led by the cyborg bounty hunter Beilert Valance on a hunt for the Sith Lord Darth Vader." - something about this sentence seems off to me. I think it may be better to say something like "Gita was recruited by Gwi to be part of a team led by Valance whose mission was to hunt Vader" or something to that extent.
  • "During her mission, she communicated with her superior, Aeliar, allowing the rebels to work with the criminal syndicate that recruited the false Tusken Raider." - A couple of things here. First, I suggest using Gita's name near the start of this, considering it's a new paragraph. Second, the use of "work with" suggests the rebels and the Hidden hand had a formal alliance, when I'm guessing that Gita was just feeding the rebels the Hidden Hand's intel. Please reword.
  • "The criminal described her as a skilled sniper with mysterious origins while recruiting the cyborg bounty hunter Beilert Valance. Led by Valance, she was accompanied by so-called Jedi hunter droid Arr-Nine-Nineteen, Ardennian slicer Chio Fain, Gamorrean tracker Honnah, and the bounty hunter Dengar.[4]" - this section seems a bit out of place, as we've gone from Gita being recruited to describing her associates in a group we otherwise know nothing about. I think it'd be best to mention the team's purpose (to hunt Vader) from the off, if possible in tandem with Valance's introduction, and then go onto Gita's recruitment and the other members.
  • "he did not trust the sniper but only trusted her sniper skills." - the repetition of "trust" and "sniper" in this makes it read kinda odd, please reword.
  • A couple of times in the Skirmish on Heva section, you use the word "starship" and it's unclear if this is referring to the Formidable or the Broken Wing. I suggest using "cruiser" instead just to be clear.
  • "When Vader deflected the laser bolts, Gita's mask was shattered by one of the bolts" - please reword the repetition of "bolts." Maybe something like "Vader deflected the bolts, with one of them shattering Gita's mask."
  • Context for Lowik in the body.
  • "After Valance headed towards the Hidden Hand's main outpost in an asteroid field, Aeliar voiced her concerns about trusting the cyborg, to which Gita replied they had no other option and assured her that Valance would get them the weapons they desired to fight back the Empire." - this is a bit of a run on, please split.
  • "Gita and Aeliar allowed the people of Chorin, Valance's homeworld, to seek refuge in the rebel base, who had immigrated to avoid a massacre at the hands of the Empire in return for the weapons Valance would supply to the rebels." - this doesn't make grammatical sense; the "who" doesn't work as the rebel base is the last mentioned subject, not the people of Chorin. Please reword.
  • "Following Gwi's capture" - this comes out of nowhere, this guy hasn't been mentioned in ages. Was he captured by Valence, thus making it a contributing factor in Gita offering him a job? If not, I don't really see how it's relevant.
  • "Even after she revealed herself[1] as a rebel agent,[2] she was still shocked to see Chio Fain and Honnah's deaths at the hands of Vader." - the way this reads suggests that her revealing herself as a rebel should make her less shocked. Not really sure what this is supposed to mean.
    • I see now how this doesn't really make sense. Removed. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Although" is preferred to "though" (more formal).
  • "convenient for hunting in a snowy environment" - I'm a little confused at the meaning here. Convenient how?
    • This was added by Anil in a copy-edit. I've removed it since it sounds a bit speculatory, seeing as the clothing is never talked about in the comic. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "When a group of rebels wished to acquire arms from the Hidden Hand crime syndicate" - I'd say this is intro exclusive, and definitely needs to be mentioned early in the History.
  • Lastly, I'd like you to completely read over this article and look out for more minor grammatical errors. In the nicest way possible, your writing has improved a lot since January, and I think it'd be good for you to do a copy-edit yourself to catch these smaller errors. To name a couple, pronouns are a bit overused instead of names or other descriptors, and sentence clauses sometimes don't link correctly: "Though Valance did not trust [Gita] at first,[8] the cyborg's expertise in combat stood out to her, [with the sniper?] later assuring Aeliar that Valance was skilled in battle and could help the Rebellion greatly." Tommy-Macaroni 18:51, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • I have gone through the article and made changes where necessary. Feel free to review them and let me know if they are good enough. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 15:09, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Posla's ship

  • Nominated by: Ben sc01t (talk) 19:37, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First FA nomination. Ben sc01t (talk) 19:37, February 2, 2020 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: Additional 2 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote A helmeted former lawman puts his frozen quarry, a smuggler, aboard his vertically-oriented ship. Hmmm... Imperators II(Talk) 08:27, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:57, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:06, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Looking forward to future FANs from you! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:47, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Zed
  • Similar to my objection here, I think the Battle of Yavin would be a better reference point for the date.
    • Is that better? Ben sc01t (talk) 21:25, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • The reference note still mentions Evazan's incident on Tatooine. Zed42 (talk) 21:32, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah that's what you meant, my bad. Sorted it. Ben sc01t (talk) 22:02, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have I missed anything? Ben sc01t (talk) 17:08, February 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • In both your date notes, you need to provide a source for the Battle of Yavin date. Also, both notes end with a mention of 0 BBY rather than 0 ABY. Zed42 (talk) 18:46, February 6, 2020 (UTC)
              • Sorted. Ben sc01t (talk) 22:32, February 6, 2020 (UTC)
              • Redone the date note as Doctor Aphra 21 also established that the Battle of Yavin had already occurred. Ben sc01t (talk) 16:47, February 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Accresker Jail needs context in the intro.
  • "Milvayne's police force, the Milvayne Authority, were quick to intercept them and they detonated the ship to distract the police officers." You should change the second instance of "they," because right now it's vague on who it refers to.
  • I don't think Aphra 22 identifies Son-tuul as a planet, that'll need an extra reference.
    • Can't find any reference from anything that it is a planet (though I have no access to the new Ultimate Star Wars). Ben sc01t (talk) 21:25, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • It's identified as a planet in its first appearance in Darth Vader 7. Zed42 (talk) 21:32, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah I must have missed that when I covered that comic. Referenced. Ben sc01t (talk) 22:02, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Determined to capture Evazan, Posla reluctantly agreed to Aphra's demands, being told thereafter that Learning that Aphra was at Accresker." Something seems to be missing here.
    • Does it look better? Ben sc01t (talk) 21:25, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • The imagecat is a redlink. Zed42 (talk) 20:11, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • The Description section needs to actually describe what the ship looked like. Imperators II(Talk) 20:14, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • What's the rationale for the article being at the title "Tam Posla's ship" as opposed to "Tam Posla's starship"? After all, our article for generic starships is located at "starship", not "[[ship]]". Imperators II(Talk) 15:33, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • I made the article just after it first appeared but this quote may be able to back the name: "But Posla's ship is back there…". Ben sc01t (talk) 19:06, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • If that quote is the best non-conjectural name for the vessel, you should actually consider using that as the article's title. Imperators II(Talk) 20:26, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • Posla also addresses it as ship when giving an order to it in one of the issues as well if that changes anything. Ben sc01t (talk) 20:38, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
          • It sounds to me like "Posla's ship" is the best option of a non-conjectural name for the article. Imperators II(Talk) 20:43, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
            • Would that mean it must be referred to in italic? Ben sc01t (talk) 20:51, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
              • No, that's just emphasis. What the name change does mean is that the article itself should be updated: conjecture template removed, the proper name added to the article's intro, body, and infobox; the intro and body text may need to be reworded etc. Imperators II(Talk) 20:54, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The category isn't applicable anymore, either. Imperators II(Talk) 10:29, April 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Intro: "After Evazan planted proximity bombs in Aphra and 0-0-0, he revealed his true identity to Aphra abandoned the pair aboard Posla's ship." — the sentence is grammatically unclear. Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Does this look better? Ben sc01t (talk) 08:44, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • The darker parts of the ship are definitely not silver-colored. Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've checked multiple photos and it looks like shadow to me. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:44, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • From the infobox image and the Ponda Baba one alone it does not look like a shadow. It's specific details that are dark, not whole areas of the ship as would be the case with shadows. Imperators II(Talk) 12:08, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
        • I see what you mean now. I've put gray on the list in characteristics. Ben sc01t (talk) 14:28, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Ref 9 needs further work. "Triple-Zero was first activated in protocol droid form" — what has this got to do with anything? What has Echo Base being intact has to do with Posla purchasing the ship? Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added some specification on where Aphra 40 is in respect to Aphra 22 and specified that 0-0-0 is in protocol droid form in Aphra 22 to connect better with the following sentence. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:44, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • "After the Battle of Yavin" could also refer to, say, 1 ABY. What concrete evidence is there for Darth Vader 3 taking place in 0 ABY? Imperators II(Talk) 15:29, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
        • Specified that it's the earliest year after the battle to say that it's the earliest year in the date range. Ben sc01t (talk) 09:25, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Category:Starships would be a better fit. Would Category:Captured starships apply? Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • I think it would seeing as Evazan just took it after Posla died. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:12, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should mention in the Description that the ship could be controlled via voice commands. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should note in the infobox that the ship was equipped with sublight engines. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like the scanning equipment could also be noted in the infobox. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • All three addressed. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:12, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • May I suggest what I think could be a prudent course of action? Currently, there's only one comic issue titled Doctor Aphra 22. However, starting with tomorrow there will be another comic series titled Doctor Aphra, which could potentially run up to 22 issues again. At that point, this article's BTS would have to be reworded to avoid the ambiguity introduced by simply changing the redirecting pipelink to the 22nd issue of the 2016 series. Why not spare that effort then and avoid this right now, by wording the BTS something like "the twenty-second issue of the 2016 comic series Star Wars: Doctor Aphra"? Imperators II(Talk) 16:41, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorted. Ben sc01t (talk) 17:40, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Is there a reason none of these have been slashed? Ben sc01t (talk) 10:20, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • The lead sentence of the article needs to be cleaned up grammatically. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Given the informal nature of this article's title, I think you should avoid using the traditional "Article's subject was a ..." wording structure we so often use in our articles. Instead, I'd advise leading with something that formally introduces both Tam Posla (with a bit of context for him) and starships. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Changed. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, this objection was made in regards to the Description section, which needs this rephrasing far more than the intro did (the intro's fine now, though). Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah I see, does this look better? Ben sc01t (talk) 14:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
          • Not really. Let me make my point clearer: for the Description section, give up the paradigm of beginning an article with "[Subject's name] was a ..." and instead begin with "such-and-such Tam Posla owned a such-and-such ..." which you can combine with the following sentence. Imperators II(Talk) 12:58, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
            • Oh I assumed I would need to start with calling it Posla's ship. How does it look now? Ben sc01t (talk) 19:29, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Since the heating array quote has nothing to do with the events of the respective section, I think you should switch it for the scanning equipment one, which does in fact have something to do with the Tracking Evazan section. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla's ship was formerly owned by the assassin droid Triple-Zero" — everything in Star Wars happened in the past, therefore "formerly". Please revise the wording here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Upon introducing Triple-Zero, you should provide the droid's formal designation. And then you should proceed with consistency—in the article's body, you refer to the droid by his informal name, whereas one the quote captions uses his formal name. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorted. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • So I see you've switched to the droid's formal name everywhere in the article... everywhere but ref notes and the last sentence of intro, that is. Imperators II(Talk) 12:04, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • My bad, changed those. Ben sc01t (talk) 14:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • According to dictionary.com, while the usage of the verb "to bug" is not marked as informal, that of the noun "bug" is. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, you read this wrong. The noun "bug" is informal, please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 12:35, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • How does it look now? Ben sc01t (talk) 14:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
          • There's still one instance remaining. Imperators II(Talk) 12:53, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
            • Forgot I used it twice. Fixed it. Ben sc01t (talk) 19:29, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • "who bugged its systems before it was sold to" — you may want to reword this. The lead quote seems to imply Triple-Zero himself directly sold the vessel to Posla as opposed to having it sold by another party. Why not keep it simple? Also, this way you may be able to avoid the repetitive usage of the pronoun "it" in the same sentence to refer to the ship. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla used the ship as his base of operations to hunt down his arch-nemesis, Doctor Cornelius Evazan. Posla utilized its equipment to log" — please vary the way you begin sentences here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "the man's trail" — worth linking to Human, no? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • No longer using "man" in that sentence after I reworded it per the objection below. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "the man's trail went to a halt for over a month" — can you clear this up? I've only ever used the phrase "the trail goes/went cold", and I'm not sure what the "for over a month" part specifies here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Does this look better? Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'd like for some additional context for Evazan to be provided earlier in the article, i.e., that he was a surgeon. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please go through the article and revise any uses of the pronoun "this", which implies present tense. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "In this time, Posla's ship was parked in deep space, and Posla used his time unsparingly to scan for more leads on Evazan." — Please rephrase to avoid the repetitive usage of "time" and the confusing usage of "unsparingly". Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like the Rebel Alliance needs to be more explicitly provided as context than a pipelinked "rebel". Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Although Syndulla could not reach Starros personally, as her ship had crashed" — whose ship? Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla logged this and complimented the ship's state-of-the-art scanning system, logging a reminder to commend Triple-Zero for selling him the ship. Meanwhile, Triple-Zero was listening through his bug in the ship's systems, overhearing the reference to Aphra that Posla had mentioned." — please find more ways, including synonyms, to refer to Triple-Zero and Posla's ship. This applies to the entire article. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "overhearing the reference to Aphra that Posla had mentioned" — so Posla mentioned this out loud while alone on his ship? Can you make this any clearer? And perhaps earlier in the article? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Despite Posla refusing at first, Aphra tricked him into thinking she was holding Evazan hostage using what she thought was the shape-shifting powers of "Lopset Yas,"[2] but was actually the real Evazan wearing a bio-engineered creature called a pluripleq.[6]" — this sentence just needs a straight-up rewrite and possibly splitting into multiple sentences, because I don't understand what the hell is going on here. It's too unclear and convoluted. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Posla's ship later arrived near Accresker Jail as it traveled on a collision course" — another example of why careful wording and usage of synonyms matters. Was Posla's ship on a collision course? Or was it Accresker Jail? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As Posla began to take Evazan away, a highly contagious fungus called gundravian hookspores attempted to possess him." — Again. Possess whom, Posla or Evazan? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • You may want to carefully reconsider the way you're going to refer to the disguised Evazan throughout the entire article, because you're doing it in several ways. Be consistent. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • It should look better now. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla turned his ship around and landed back in Accresker Jail, leaving it to search for Aphra" — Leaving what, his ship or Accresker Jail? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Once he found her and declared that she was under arrest, he was mauled to death by Triple-Zero, who captured Aphra himself." — you may also want to avoid overreliance on pronouns as opposed to actual synonyms. In sentences such as this it soon becomes unclear what you're referring to. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Regarding the same sentence, it catches the reader somewhat by surprise, since at no point prior in the article have you provided Triple-Zero's motivation for bugging Posla's vessel and hunting for Aphra. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added additional more info on 0-0-0's actions and intentions. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "removed his proximity bomb" — removed from where? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there an article for the droid's personality core mentioned in the article? Is it the Triple-Zero protocol personality matrix? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • I don't see why not. Pipelinked. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is Ponda Baba actually explicitly identified as Evazan's friend? I believe the pair's relationship was much more ambivalent in Legends. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Evazan calls him "old pal" in issue 25 and old friend in issue 26. If you look at the image of Baba's ship docking Evazan also calls the Aqualish his friend in the speech bubble. Ben sc01t (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
      • Normally, in such situations I'd seek confirmation from a more neutral source (ideally, a secondary source such as a reference book), but since the pair's Databank entries also call them friends, I guess I can't object to this anymore. Imperators II(Talk) 14:03, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Evazan departed Posla's ship to join his Baba" — I actually chuckled aloud when reading this. :) Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "found Milvayne credits" — when first seeing the pipelink, I actually expected "Milvayne credit(s)" to be an article of its own. Please reword this so that it just says they were credits from the planet Milvayne. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • "I suppose they found a little of the lawman's money--all in Milvayne credits,of course." Ben sc01t (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'm afraid I must insist on this being revised according to my suggestion, given the line from the comic assumes the reader is familiar with what credits are—rightly so, but not an attitude Wookieepedia should also assume—plus it will provide more context that way. Imperators II(Talk) 13:33, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Fair enough I've changed it now. Ben sc01t (talk) 19:29, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • The reason for Aphra and Triple-Zero traveling to Milvayne is intro-exclusive. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Was it both Aphra and Triple-Zero who killed the border officer? The article you wrote on the officer states it was just the droid. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please work in self-destruct mechanism and the fact that the ship was equipped with a hyperdrive both in infobox and the article's body. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • When during the events of the comics is the Theft quote uttered? I'm asking because the incomplete quote begs for additional context in the attribution. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • "Lopset Yas" explains BT-1's fate to 0-0-0 and then says that quote but 0-0-0 interrupts him asking what he meant by "destroyed" (for BT-1) and then "Yas" shoots him. How to you want me to describe the attribution? Ben sc01t (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
      • I think just saying "before being interrupted by 0-0-0" would do the trick. Imperators II(Talk) 13:33, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'd recommend giving the Description sectioning a somewhat hierarchical layout. Begin by describing the ship's exterior, then interior, and then the features and functions in order of decreasing importance. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Definitely made a few stupid mistakes in there. All the objections have now been addressed. Ben sc01t (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reviewing note: In your writing, you need to make note of the following grammar rule. "Subject 1 did something and did something else." <-- In this case, there's no comma in the sentence. "Subject 1 did something, and Subject 2 did something else." <-- In this case, there's a comma. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Right now, 100% of the intro is the ship's history. You should always keep in mind that there are other sections to an article with significant info. In this case, I think you should mention that the vessel was equipped with scanning equipment as well as a self-destruct mechanism. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should learn to drop the usage of "during or after" and similar speculative wording. Just say "by 0 ABY" instead. In this case, however, it'd probably be more precise and in-line with the article's body to say "at some point between 0 ABY and 3 ABY" or something to that effect. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla eventually took the ship to the wreckage-prison Accresker Jail to deliver an escape shuttle, attached to its rear undercarriage, to trade with the rogue archaeologist Chelli Aphra for a frozen Evazan." — if you take out the part beginning with "attached," you're left with two consecutive "to" parts that make for a bit of an awkward read. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think that there's a bit too much detail on Evazan's camouflage for the intro, such as the mention of the pluripleq, which really has little to do with Posla's ship. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
    • Removed the Pluripleq part. Ben sc01t (talk) 19:29, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • This sentence needs some kind of transitional context to explain how we get from Evazan tricking Posla into thinking he's a shape-shifter to Posla returning to the jail. These are two completely separate actions, and it's not clear how or why this is happening. "After he was defrosted, Evazan tricked Posla into thinking that he was a shape-shifter named "Lopset Yas." Posla returned to Accresker to arrest Aphra, but was killed by 0-0-0."
  • Additionally, the article needs to stay constantly on topic with regards to the ship, which is the sole focus of this article. Is Posla returning to the jail in the ship, presumably? This should be mentioned. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:16, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
    • It looks like it was mainly the intro. It should be sorted now. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:29, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro is looking much better. Can we be clearer on what "detonated the ship" means? Did he activate the self-destruct mechanism or something? "...0-0-0 detonated the ship to distract the police officers." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:04, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's nothing given by the comics how the mechanism works other than it was activated by the security fob, which I've detailed at the end of the intro. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:49, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • What's the deal with the Son-tuul Pride? It's only mentioned in the infobox.
  • Could you please briefly mention that Posla carried Baba's severed arm with him aboard the ship, until Evazan took it with him, of course?
    • Both addressed. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 13:59, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • About the first objection, the mentions of Son-tuul Pride in the article body are fine; however, since the organization doesn't appear in issue 22, I believe a manual reference note should be created, explaining how the ship is affiliated with the syndicate, for the infobox. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 09:28, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • I believe Category:Criminal starships would also apply to this ship. What do you think? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 13:28, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • About the reference changes in this edit, does issue 20 actually establish 0-0-0 led the Son-tuul Pride?
    • Ahhh, that gives my ref some flaws, with Posla possibly buying the ship before Aphra 15 or after Aphra 19 where 0-0-0 may not have the same position. I've removed the Son-tuul Pride stuff to avoid the obvious ambiguity there. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 10:33, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • I've made a few reference changes about the ones I found redundant or incorrect. Could you please check if these new ones work? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:03, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • "The former lawman[7]-turned-vigilante Tam Posla" - the hyphenation currently makes it appear as if Posla was a previously a (lawman-turned-vigilante), when I believe you're trying to say that he was a vigilante who was formerly a lawman. Please reword.
  • The facts that the ship had 2 sublights and an escape shuttle have different refs between the infobox and body. This isn't necessarily an issue, although consistency is preferred when possible, although I just want to confirm that both issues can be used as references to source those pieces of info.
    • Yes both sources confirm each, the infobox uses the earliest whereas the description just aims to use the least amount of referencing where possible as long as a source can confirm the whole sentence etc. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yeah thought so, just wanted to check. Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Tam Posla listens to Chelli Aphra's plea for a rescue mission" - it's a bit misleading to say Posla is listening to Aphra; judging by the quote the pair are having a conversation. This makes working out who is saying which line less clear. Please clarify.
  • "Ponda Baba docked a ship with Posla's ship" - a) I'd say it's now Evazan's ship, now Posla is dead. For later instances perhaps "Posla's old ship" could work? b) Is Baba's ship notable enough to have an article? It looks like a Gozanti-class cruiser from the front, so that should at least be pipelinked unless the ship differs from the Gozanti design elsewhere.
    • a is done. b Baba's ship appears in one panel, and Evazan and Baba are on a different looking ship in issue 27, which should be the same as in 26 and after 27 too. So I don't think the starship is notable enough for an article. For the ship design, the cylindrical looking part under the bridge suggests it's not a Gozanti and it seems too chunky towards the centre to be a Republic consular ship (if that's what you call it), so I think it's just a unidentified design. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay I'm happy with that. Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Do you think it would be suitable to relocate the escape shuttle in the infobox to the escapepods field? Tommy-Macaroni 13:50, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Escape shuttle is what Aphra called it as it was what she had requested for to get off of Accresker. Posla's ship doesn't even have a shuttle attached in issue 22. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)


Onager-class Star Destroyer

  • Nominated by:--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:25, March 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Giving featured article nominations another try!

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Support

  1. Great job on fixing up the article! —Tomotron Revanchist Sith (Star Forge) 01:02, March 10, 2020 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:45, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  3. A fine read. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 23:09, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Mr Star Wars Amino Republic talk 6:30 May 30, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Well done for the most part, however, you have some issues:
  • "Navigation computer" seems to be infobox-exclusive.
  • Battle of Endor should be given a date in the intro
  • "During the Galactic Civil War, there were several examples of this class. Several ships were the Cataclysm, the Rakehell, the Sunder, and the Onager-class Testbed." This can be merged into one sentence to use the named ships as the examples specified in the first sentence.
  • "Beyond the end of the indentation but before the command tower structure were two deflector shield generator domes similar to those[3] found in Imperial-class Star Destroyers,[6] as well as several other deflector shield generators." I don't think you should use Rogue One as a source if it doesn't mention the deflector shield generator. I would suggest replacing the reference with the Blueprints from Card Trader (See the exact card used in the status articles Formidable and Adjudicator).
    • Thanks! Fixed!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ok so for this, you'll need to make two separate references. For stuff like "solar ionization reactor" or "deflector shield," follow Rakehell, Sunder, and Cataclysm as examples. You don't need two separate references for that info. Secondly, the reference for the ISD should be the card directly, as you've currently used the same reference for both. Shayanomer (talk) 06:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Second paragraph of the History section is missing a reference at the end.
  • Do the sources make the connection between the Mandator IV and the Onager? If they don't, then I don't think you can say the former functioned similarly to the latter. What you could say is that the concept of orbital bombardment weaponry aboard a Star Destroyer was implemented into the Mandator IV. Shayanomer (talk) 04:02, March 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Galactic Civil War should be given dates. Shayanomer (talk) 04:07, March 5, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The size of the article warrants a larger intro than just one paragraph. Also, please fix the italicization formatting of this nomination. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:13, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Expanded intro. I fixed italicization of the title of the nomination, is there anything else?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:35, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • You've got a few duplicate links.
  • Please fix image caption formatting. Remember that only full sentences get a period at the end.
    • I changed image captions, and I think I fixed the formatting--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Each ref note should have all available subjects linked to.
  • Can you reformat ref 4 to make it less cumbersome? It's really hard to understand what it's trying to get across at the moment. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:43, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • There are instances of info sourced to two consecutive references. Those should be avoided unless absolutely necessary. And if they are necessary, then consecutive ref notes should always be arranged in ascending order. There are some refs that do not follow this rule. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:36, May 6, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Winshur Bratt

  • Nominated by: Shayanomer (talk) 11:08, March 14, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first major novel character, let's how this goes.

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Support

Object

Editor
  • The part "where he studied there for the majority of his life" in the intro could be reworded.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 01:06, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Reworded. Thoughts? Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:22, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Is "where" the right word for that part?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:54, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • Tweaked the wording. Now this is a Sofixit honestly. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 13:59, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
TQG
  • Could use a few more images to support the text. The CEC logo and an image of Corellia itself would both work nicely. Toqgers (talk) 23:40, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added the image of CEC. If I'm not mistaken, I don't believe there's a precedent for using images of planets for novel characters to compensate for the lack of available images. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:58, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
      • To elaborate further, I don't think an image of Corellia itself would fit in the article now that the first section is occupied by the CEC logo. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 14:34, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
Ben
  • The year following the Battle of Yavin is 0 ABY right?
  • Would it be better to say the actual date instead of "the year following the Battle of Yavin" in both the intro and the bio? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:08, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • There is a precedent for having some leeway around dates (e.g. Darth Bane). As for "0 ABY," the text "He had been born the year after the Battle of Yavin" isn't very clear as to which year it's referring to, so I chose to go with 1 ABY just to be safe. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 14:17, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • "The year following the battle of Yavin" would suggest to me that Bratt was born within the 365 days (or however many days are in a year in Star Wars) of 0 ABY as that is the year following along from the battle. If it was referring to 1 ABY then it'd be a "year after" which would imply a year as already gone since the battle. That's my take on it at least, feel free to destroy that explanation. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:57, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • I think I'm gonna wait for more opinions on this before changing it. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 15:25, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Joralla

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:28, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:53, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:45, May 3, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Anil
  • Is the double referencing in the demonym field of the infobox really necessary?
    • Well, both of the entries are equally valid, but I've went with one of them. Imperators II(Talk) 07:15, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does the source decapitalize the term "celsius"? Just wanted to make sure as its real-life counterpart is capitalized as far as I know. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:44, April 14, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Kkkt

  • Nominated by: Ben sc01t (talk) 12:01, March 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Second FAN. This'll probably make it before Posla's ship.

(2 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)

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Support

  1. Carrying over my vote from the GAN. Shayanomer (talk) 12:09, March 23, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:37, March 23, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:57, April 11, 2020 (UTC)
  4. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:46, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Mr Star Wars Amino Republic (talk) 17:36, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Imperators II(Talk) 07:43, July 3, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Imp
  • Please fully link your reference notes. Imperators II(Talk) 18:03, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Since the construction of Fortress Vader and the events of Dark Lord of the Sith 19 could have theoretically taken place on the last day of 12 BBY and 14 BBY, respectively, you should treat the derived date in both ref notes as an approximate one, therefore "around 12 BBY" and "around 14 BBY." this applies to both the infobox and the body. Imperators II(Talk) 18:03, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Since the later events of the Fortress Vader story arc of the Star Wars: Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith comic-book series, which comprises issues 23–25" — does "which comprises" refer to the "later events" or the story arc? 'Cause the story arcs is issues 19-25, per the arc's article. Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "The events of issue 20 take place immediately following issue 19 as well as issue 21 immediately following the events of issue 20" — seeing how all you're going for is an approximate date, I'm sure you can simplify this sentence by a thousandfold by saying something to the effect of "21 is set shortly after 19". Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • A bit of rewording is needed to avoid awkward repetition. Biography: "constructing a structure". Intro: "construction of his fortress. Constructed" Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Vader denied the order" — I don't think you can deny an order. Either he denied the request, or cancelled the order. Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Rewritten the sentence, I made a mistake by including Captain Junus when the voice at the start of issue 24 isn't specified. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 21:26, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please link to Galactic Empire and Force-sensitive in the body. Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Intro-exclusive, or perhaps just awkward wording: "During the battle, Kkkt identified Vader". Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Vader then began construction for his fortress. Constructed to tune in to the dark side energies present on the planet and open a portal through the Force, the fortress failed its purpose several times, devastating Mustafar's landscape, which led Kkkt to unite the other nearby Mustafarian clans against the stronghold." — The clauses in here sound a bit off. Can you combine the first sentence with the first subordinate clause of the second sentence, and perhaps combine the second and third subordinate clauses? Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 2, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

O'reen

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:50, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:44, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Fan26 (Talk) 12:19, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  4. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:00, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:38, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • Unless I've missed it somewhere, the body does not link to O'reenian (apart from the "Main article" link under the Inhabitants section), despite the term being used quite a few times. Fan26 (Talk) 05:27, May 4, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Moroff

  • Nominated by: Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:24, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: What happens when you give a wampa a minigun?

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

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Support

Object

Ben
  • Specifying where Moroff is in the photo—e.g. "(left)"—should be there seeing as it's hard to notice him.
  • You could call the "skirmish" with the patrol in the final Bio paragraph an 'ambush' or a 'raid' seeing as the Partisans were the ones raiding the Imperial convoy.
  • You should add more detail to the Death Star's attack, such as the fact it was the Empire's superweapon. Continental (or inter-continental) would also be a better description for the shockwave. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:04, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Dooma 4 needs context.
    • The comic doesn't provide any info on Dooma 4, and I'm not sure "location" is suitable context. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:58, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • What about astronomical object? Ben sc01t (talk) 10:02, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Added. Can't really think of an alternative. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 10:05, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
          • The same will be needed for the intro. Ben sc01t (talk) 10:11, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • You could mention that Moroff and his friends were under fire by an AT ST and while they retreated into the alleyway. Ben sc01t (talk) 08:46, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
Fan
Spooky
  • Moroff has his own entry in The Moviemaking Magic of Star Wars: Creatures & Aliens, should be added to Sources. Also has one or two interesting costume/operational control tidbits that might be useful for the BtS.spookywillowwtalk 19:35, May 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated accordingly. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I imagine wearing the costume was a pain, so I can understand why the character's role in the film was cut greatly. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:00, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
      • It seems the book also provides Moroff's height, but from an OOU perspective. Would it be suitable to add this to the infobox by converting it to meters? Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:07, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
        • Haven't come across that precedent before. Perhaps, but that'd probably need clarification from someone who works more on this article type.spookywillowwtalk 05:12, May 18, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Before anyone asks about the German comic image, we have a precedent for this. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:31, April 8, 2020 (UTC)


Oseon 6845

  • Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 08:48, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: On this day thirteen years ago, I made my first main namespace edit on this article. A place never visited by Childish "Landonis" Gambino.

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 10:22, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:37, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Fan26 (Talk) 21:32, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 18:41, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:18, June 14, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Anil
  • Honestly, I'm not sure if plants kept in somebody's terrarium or estate should be listed under "Native flora" in the infobox. Is there any indication that they're actually "native"?
  • "[…] members of a variety of other Humanoid and non-Human species." About the capitalization and hyphenating choices here, does the novel actually favor "Humanoid" and "non-Human"? My digital copy of The Lando Calrissian Adventures seems to go with "humanoid" and "nonhuman." TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:59, May 31, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Waxer/Legends (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 114.
  • Date added: April 11, 2020

(+1)

Support

  1. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 23:37, April 11, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • Two-speaker quotes get the Quote template, not Dialogue. There's at least one case of this being done incorrectly in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:43, April 24, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Since Waxer has several lines of dialogue on the wiki, a {{Soundcat}} would be good to have on the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 07:58, May 10, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Raid on Ziro the Hutt's Coruscant club

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:21, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:22, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • "When Dooku told Ziro that members of the CIS leadership would pay handsomely for Amidala, the Hutt had her thrown in the dungeon." Can you provide more context for "the dungeon" in regards to where it's located?
    • Unfortunately, there really is no further context other than it being in the palace. They never show her in a elevator going up or down, either when she is being taken to the dungeon or being brought back to the throne room. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 02:03, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah, I meant something like "palace's dungeon," but you've added that now. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 03:41, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • I don't think the double reference for most of the information is necessary. As long as there isn't info exclusive to The Clone Wars: The Battle Begins, then using the film alone should be fine.
  • Missing backup links.
  • BTS issues:
  • Release year required for film, as well as books.
    • Didn't specifically list the date for the books, but look how I worked it and see if that accomplishes the same result. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 05:11, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reference issue; you've sourced almost everything to the novelization.
    • You stated above that there was no need to add a second reference if no new info is added by the second reference. That just happens to be the case why almost everything is referenced to the film. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 05:11, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • The flashback info and mention in the novelization is unnecessary since they're already covered by the Appearances. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 06:13, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • The above objections were handled via Discord. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 06:50, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
Fan
  • Is it possible to specify who Fox is reporting to in the intro quote?
    • I will have to see if I can lay hands on the novelization, or find someone who has it. I do not know if it is known who he was reporting to. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 23:46, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 01:28, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • From the aftermath section: "Furious at his uncle's treachery, Jabba vowed to have him punished severely, though he was satisfied to let his uncle rot in prison on Coruscant." Male pronouns are used to refer to both Jabba and Ziro in this sentence. Please alter it to refer to Ziro by his name at least once, because it becomes less clear who is being talked about by the second half of the sentence. Fan26 (Talk) 22:35, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Infobox
    • Do we really need two refs to source the Battle of Teth in the infobox "previous" field? Just listing the film is more than sufficient.
    • Star Wars Insider 67 and The New Essential Chronology are being used to source events as taking place concurrently with this raid. Both of those sources were released years before TCW and therefore do not contain any mention of the raid. A better explanation is required for those two refs.
    • Desilijic kajidic is infobox exclusive
      • I removed this, because the entire kajidic was not involved. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • So is Ziro's full name. He is only referred to as "Desiliji Tiure" in the infobox, the rest of the article always calls him Ziro the Hutt.
    • Same with Fox. His full clone designation is infobox exclusive.
    • Again, why use two refs for the Republic casualties field in the infobox? References should be used as sparingly as possible, and I don't see the need for two sources in this instance.
      • Back when this was first nominated, I recall that I was advised that if a fact was referenced in multiple places, to reference it as such. That has changed since. Fixed now. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • The article is titled "Raid on Ziro the Hutt's Coruscant club, but the article constantly refers to the location as "Ziro's Palace." It should be clarified that the club was located inside the palace.
    • Done. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • This inconsistency is still present in the main body. The first time the word "club" is ever mentioned is in the "Aftermath" section. Before that, the article only talks about the palace. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:48, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
        • Gotcha. OK, have it mentioned throughout now. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 01:07, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for Coruscant.
    • Sorry, can you clarify what you mean? - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • In the Prelude, Coruscant was mentioned without any context. Nvm, I fixed this myself. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:48, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • It's better to call the CIS by its full name upon first mention, instead of pipelinking it to the Separatists.
    • It is. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • It wasn't, though. Because the Republic was in need of the space lanes through Hutt Space to access the Outer Rim Territories, which had been cut off by the Separatists, The Confederacy of Independent Systems was first linked here. I was talking about this part. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:48, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • As far as I'm aware, "aide" means an actual person who is sent to help. The act of helping is referred to as "aid." There are instances when an incorrect term is used.
  • I'm not sure that the very last sentence of "Aftermath" has any information of value, and its wording is debatable at best. I wouldn't call Amidala being taken hostage (alongside a bunch of other senators, no less), as being instrumental in Ziro's release.
    • Not debatable at all. Amidala and the senators being held hostage was the only reason that Palpatine conceded to Ziro's release. Regardless, I have removed that last sentence as it is not crucial to the article. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Bts
    • "but was first depicted in two young reader books based upon the movie that were both released on the same day of the previous month" Month previous to what? You didn't mention any months before that.
      • One of Shayanomer's objections revolved around those dates, and in discussing with him on Discord, he was adamant that the full year should not to be used. I disagreed, but did not want it to be an objection point. I have redone it with dates included. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
        • I would say that this case falls under the following clause of WP:LG: The exception to this rule is when two sources are being discussed in tandem. In such a case, the month and/or full date may be provided as necessary, particularly if both sources were released in the same year. Therefore, providing the full date is preferrable here, for the sake of clarity. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:48, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Why is it called a "direct" junior novelization, necessarily?
    • Can you provide authors for the two young reader books mentioned here?
    • The final sentence is unnecessary. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:03, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • I disagree. I think it is of note that the adult novelization, which would typically be more expansive, only gives a cursory mention of the raid, while the smaller junior novelization actually depicts the raid. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 03:55, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
        • I understand your point, but I believe that it's still such a minute detail that isn't really worth discussing in the Bts. I will strike this objection, as don't think it as such a big deal. The INQ will know better whether this should be kept in. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:48, June 5, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • My computer is out of order, and it is just too difficult trying to edit using a tablet. I'm asking for a grace period. I will get these taken care of as soon as I can. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 17:51, June 1, 2020 (UTC)


Martle Station

(0 Inqs/4 Users/4 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 10:32, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  2. JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 13:37, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Fan26 (Talk) 23:17, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:01, May 20, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

4-A7

  • Nominated by:--Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:36, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: With the war coming to a close, I figured it would make sense to look back at something from its start.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:56, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:24, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

AV
  • Citation 12 is broken. Looks like you left his Class One degree out of the info box.
    • How should I fix this?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:14, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay, I did a little research and it doesn't look like you can site the RA-7 being a Class 1 droid to Droidography. Per the descriptions of the droid degrees from Droidography and the Visual Encyclopedia, the RA-7 would be a Class 3. I would add a note along the lines of "Star Wars: The Visual Encyclopedia establishes that protocol droids are third class droids. As the Star Wars: The Clone Wars film depicts 4-A7 as an RA-7 protocol droid, he must be a third class droid." to the infobox alongside Class 3, while changing citation 13 to match. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:06, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • I have fixed that, but it is still saying the reference is invalid?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:29, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • Tooks care of the degree field not displaying. As for the citation being invalid, make sure your capitalization matches that of the parent citation. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:44, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per the Star Wars dot com Encyclopedia entry for the Twilight, the ship belonged to Ziro's criminal organization. Given his part in the plot to kidnap Rotta, this might be worth mentioning in the article. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:15, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • 4-A7's model was reused as Unidentified RA-7 protocol droid (Coruscant), would be worth mentioning in the Bts. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:47, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry to interject here, but I've checked Evil Plans' episode guide and it doesn't say anything about that droid's model being repurposed from 4-A7. Until there is concrete evidence, like The Jedi Who Knew Too Much's guide, I say we should leave it out. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:58, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • I took AV and Shay's points into account and simply noted it looks similar.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 16:51, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Since 4-A7's character model was used a throughout the series for generic droids, I might see about taking the time to track down every time it was reused without alteration, rather than having the article pinpoint this single example. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:06, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • Should I describe what those droids do like I did for the Coruscant one, or simply list that they were there?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:46, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
            • Probsbly that they the model was present in whichever episodes. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:48, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
              • Based on what another objection is saying, I feel like it makes more sense for me to not list out every episode. Instead, I could note the similar looking droids exist and source it to several (maybe just three or so) episodes.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 00:16, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
                • Yeah, that makes sense, I agree with this change. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:27, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
                  • Should I get into episodes that use the updated model?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:08, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
                    • No, I shouldn't think you need to mention that in the Bts beyond the fact that 4-A7's model was updated into R-A7. If R-A7's model was used elsewhere in the series, that should go on their page. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:11, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • 4-A7 has a sizeable section in Star Wars: Build Your Own R2-D2 11 that contains new information. You can chase down User:Ayrehead02 for access to the source. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 20:52, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • You can definitely cut down at least 2 of the big paragraphs, which would create room for sectioning. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:38, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • By cut down do you mean reduce word count or split them into separate paragraphs? As I think sectioning means creating subheaders?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 18:11, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the sources, you need to the list the base episode guide, not the gallery.
    • Looks like Cwedin fixed this while I was writing the objection. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:43, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • You can definitely add info on 4A-7's model being reused for another droid in The Jedi Who Knew Too Much, according to that gallery. Here, the gallery itself will be used to source this information. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:42, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Look okay?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:17, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Looks fine for now, but I feel that stuff like the episode seasons is a bit overkill. It doesn't really break the article in my opinion. Better to wait and see what other people think. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 17:31, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Sourcing Jabba's species separately feels really unnecessary since we can clearly see him in the film.
    • Fixed that. Ultimate establishes the dark acolyte title and outright states Ventress kidnapped Rotta, so that is why it is used--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:28, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm sure there's a more concrete source you can use to replace an old SWE entry for the Twilight.
    • I am not sure what you mean. It is only there to source it was part of Ziro's operation.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:28, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • I've checked the source and it doesn't really make it clear that Teth was occupied by the Separatists. The canon reference books I've checked all say it was within Hutt-controlled territory. Only the fortress was under Separatist control. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 16:17, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm also certain there are more quotes from 4-A7 you can include in the article, expanding existing quotes or replacing quotes from other characters.
  • "His gray body was also similar in appearance to the 3PO-series protocol droid." This is unnecessary and feels like speculation.
    • It is very similar to the 3PO series, and I feel like it should be included. There appear to be two in-universe models of RA-7s, those that have a similar body to 3POs and those that do not. As 4-A7 falls into the former category, it should be noted.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 16:01, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
      • Then in that case, every single RA-7 droid of that model has a similar body to a 3PO droid, which I believe would be redundant information on individual droid articles. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 16:17, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • "RA-7 was willing to answer and even warned him that the dungeons were dangerous" This is the first time in the article you mention "dungeons." Please elaborate on this.
    • Changed wording in second paragraph of the biography section to fix that--Editoronthewiki (talk) 16:40, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per Layout Guide, the film only requires the release year in the BTS. This also means you can say that the novelizations came out "before the film."
  • Context for A New Hope. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 10:07, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • Good?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:28, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • You still need to point out that the novels came out before the film. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 16:17, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • You've had the update tag and redlink on the article for quite a while. Have you finished updating the article? Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 05:59, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry for the delay. I just needed to double check if some information needed to be added. It is almost done.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:07, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Cwedin
  • Just a few things in the BTS:
    • Can you add the full release dates for the film and novels?
      • The film can out in Europe first. Should I put the US release date?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:40, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yes, I would use the film's wide release date (15 August).
    • "Malevolence" should be italicized.
    • The novelization references should also be formatted. - Cwedin(talk) 05:56, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • More BTS:
    • Fourth sentence needs a full stop.
    • "An animation model[18] that looks very similar to 4-A7's[2] was later used in the[18] Season Three [19] episode "Evil Plans" as a RA-7 protocol droid on[18] the Republic capital world[20] of Coruscant.[18] For the[21] Season Five[22] episode..." and so on: There's a lot of superfluous info here that could be trimmed down.
      • Good?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 02:30, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
        • Better. You can also remove the references in "For the[19] Season Five[20] episode..." since all of that can be sourced to [19]. - Cwedin(talk) 02:52, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'd also recommend splitting the BTS into two paragraphs. - Cwedin(talk) 02:17, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • I still have some work to get done in it, but this has been done--Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:44, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Some minor things:
    • The links to Confederacy should be removed, since that's a real world disambiguation page.
    • In the second intro paragraph, there's a stray "but."
    • In the bio: "a RA-7" --> "an RA-7."
    • The image captions should use characters' full names.
    • In the BTS, I don't think it's necessary to mention every instance of a similar animation model. Maybe something like "Animation models used for the RA-7 series in the television series look very similar to 4-A7's model," and then reference that sentence with some of the episodes.
    • "Star Wars Legends" should be identified as a continuity. - Cwedin(talk) 20:40, May 16, 2020 (UTC)
Ben
QGJ
  • The infobox death field can all be sourced with a single ref note, if you add a little additional context.
  • What exactly was "dangerous?" It's unclear what you are referring to here. Warning the Jedi Knight that it was dangerous
  • Same thing in the "Characteristics." When the Jedi Knight asked where Rotta was, RA-7 was willing to answer and even warned him that it was dangerous.
  • Do we need both refs for the release date of the two novelizations in the Bts? Can't we just stick with one?
    • Well, he first appeared in both, and they were released the same day. So I had figured it was needed.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:51, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • I meant this part: which were both released on July 26, 2008. It is currently sourced to both to the Year by Year book and the SW.com article. If both of those sources proviode the release date for the aforementioned books, we can just pick one source, having two refs is redundant in this case. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:51, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
        • Year by Year only provides the release date for the junior novel, so two refs are needed. But it looks like the SW.com reference doesn't actually mention the Del Rey novelization, so that should be replaced with an Amazon listing or something. - Cwedin(talk) 17:39, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
          • Could someone help me with that Amazon link? I have the url, back up link, and title there, but I am doing something wrong.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 20:55, May 28, 2020 (UTC)
            • I've fixed this for you. You had some wrong parameter names. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:56, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • Article is listed in Category:Espionage droids, but I don't see the term linked anywhere in the article. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:05, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • I had to use the term "spy droid," as that's the canon version.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 22:14, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • You are correct. I did not notice that the canon term is different, my bad. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:51, May 25, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • There are several things I want community opinion on--Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:36, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • When Ahsoka lights her lightsaber after he calls her a servant girl, his arms are slightly raised, implying he was surprised/scared. I figure this is too much of an assumption, but I might as well ask.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:36, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • I think it would be safe to say he was startled by Ahsoka's actions. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 06:05, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Should I put that in the characteristics section or biography?--Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:17, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • I don't think it was a characteristic, so I think the biography section. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 18:53, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
            • Well I put "seemingly" just in case it was part of his act. It probably was not, but just to be sure.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 23:26, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • When Ahsoka talks to him on the landing pad, he kind of seems nervous, but I also want community opinion to see if I should include that.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:36, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • I think I should continue to go through The Clone Wars episodes to see if his name appears in the credits of other episodes. I had just wanted this nomination up before Season Seven ended. Should I only be looking in the English credits? Disney plus does show some foreign credits at the end of episodes.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:36, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Update on this: I checked the credits of all of season one and two. I will continue to go through and check each episode's credits in the coming days. I am only checking the blue credits that appear before the clip of R2-D2 presenting the logo.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 02:55, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • What is the canon source for the name 4-A7? If the only canon source that names the character is the episode guide, then the page needs to be moved to 4A7 with no dashes. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 05:23, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • The 4-A7 spelling comes from the film credits. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:33, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Thanks for clarifying. Since Disney+ sometimes changes the subtitles from the blu-ray releases, I did confirm that both the blu-ray and Disney+ credits list him as 4-A7. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 06:08, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per a conversation I had via talk pages with User:DarthRuiz30, this article is now going with the assumption that the three battle droids were B1s. It will also make this project a lot easier.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:58, May 4, 2020 (UTC)


Krdys Mordi

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 21:54, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A sexist Dark Jedi with poor eyesight

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:21, May 5, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:26, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Silver Angel

  • Nominated by: RattsT (talk) 05:18, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first FAN, hopefully this goes well!

(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)

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Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:17, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Great job on maintaining the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:48, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Nice work.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:17, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  4. JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 06:16, July 8, 2020 (UTC)
  5. --Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:14, July 8, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • "The job went awry, however, when Trace dumped the spice into hyperspace, fearful of what her sister's employers, the Pyke Syndicate, could do to her and her ship." Try to restructure this sentence to reduce the overuse of commas.
  • Double reference for the last sentence in Description is unnecessary, only the episode guide can be used here.
  • I don't think the info about Trace naming the ship can be sourced to the Databank, Deal No Deal would suffice here.
  • Kessel being a planet will need a reference of its own.
  • I believe the pilot who abandoned the spice delivery can have an article of its own.
  • You can add more info about the military lane, specifically, the Venator that Yularen and Skywalker were on.
  • Marg Krim can be introduced as the Pyke leader on his first mention in the article.
  • The Kom'rk that follows the Angel is the Gauntlet, which is missing from this article.
  • Ziro's escape from prison can be given a date.
  • Context for Ghost and Rebels in the BTS.
  • The concept artist(s) who illustrated the ship can be added to the BTS.
  • Reviewing note: Take care with the placement of commas in quotations.
  • Reviewing note: Be careful of underlinking in future nominations. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:52, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • All objections handled, except for the date note. Not sure how to figure out the placement of that event. RattsT (talk) 19:38, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • Use Anza as a guide. Since Galactic Atlas doesn't date the hostage crisis, you'll have to find the two closest events in the episode order and work out an approximate date. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 19:45, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should reference the specific gallery that makes the connection between this ship and the Ghost, which is the trivia gallery in this case. This can be done using the site's search bar since the guide doesn't allow you to open the individual galleries separately. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 19:50, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • The name of the Gauntlet will need a reference of its own. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 07:31, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • Escape from Oba Diah is missing from the infobox. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:06, May 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you add some info on their capture in the intro as they tried to escape in the ship? Right now, it abruptly jumps to their escape from prison after dumping the spice.
  • Hyperdrive, communications and shields are missing from the infobox.
  • You've used "however" a lot in the article, can you introduce some variation in the wording?
  • Maul's takeover of Mandalore will need to sourced to Shades of Reason. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:27, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Missing Sources: Rafa and Ahsoka's Databank entries, this TV spot, Deal No Deal clip.
  • Deal No Deal's concept art gallery shows that JP Balmet drew the ship's exterior, this is missing from the BTS. In addition, one of the images in that gallery depicts Kessel and Oba Diah's lighting concept with the ship in it, done by Jason Boesch. The gallery in Together Again also has more lighting concept artwork by Boesch. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:40, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed all. RattsT (talk) 09:18, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • Great, just add little more in the intro about them attempting to escape from the palace before their capture and split it into two paragraphs. You also need to add a reference to Together Again's gallery with the specific slide. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:25, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
        • Is it necessary to cite every appearance of concept art? The fact that Boesch did artwork for the ship is already sourced to the DND gallery. RattsT (talk) 09:33, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
          • For comprehensiveness, it doesn't hurt to include it. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 09:36, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
            • Alright, added. RattsT (talk) 09:44, June 4, 2020 (UTC)
AV
  • The TCW Season 7 OST provides the alternate spelling Silverangel in the second volume. I would recommend making some mention of this in the Bts. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:41, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Gross, they misspelled "Pikes" too. Added. RattsT (talk) 03:37, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • This sentence makes it seem like Trace knew about Ahsoka's Jedi past right away, which wasn't the case. A little rewording is required. Martez was impressed with the former Jedi Padawan's eye for ships,
  • Lokann's name should be spelled out, instead of pipelinked as "a criminal" like that.
  • Please look into cutting some of the play-by-play details in the history. There are quite a lot of sentences, especially in the whole Oba Diah sequence, containing phrases such as "character X said this" and "character Y responded with that." This is always distracting, especially when the characters aren't even the focus of the article - the ship is.
    • I've excised some bits here and there, let me know if I can do more. I kept a bit between the sisters after their first escape because they're talking directly about the ship. RattsT (talk) 09:52, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • Both "Running spice" and "Escaping Oba Diah" sections look fairly long in the Oasis skin. Now this may change, depending on how much info you cut down. For now though, I feel like it's best to split those two sections and make them into three instead.
  • Is it "Pyke Palace" or "the Pyke Palace?" Please check the sources for the correct spelling. If the sources use both, then just choose one spelling yourself for consistency.
  • I feel like Maul deserves a tad more context upon first introduction, something like "former Sith Lord" should suffice.
  • Also related to Maul. You need to establish that Maul was in control of Mandalore, to give context for Bo-Katan's desire to defeat him. they were interrupted by the Mandalorian Bo-Katan Kryze, who had followed them from Oba Diah to request Tano's help in defeating Maul. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:09, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • All other points addressed. RattsT (talk) 09:52, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • All that's left is to provide a quote for the "Escaping to Coruscant" section. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 08:58, June 3, 2020 (UTC)
Braha'tok enthusiast
  • Would it be possible to mention Tano parting with the sisters in the intro? Even if it's only brief. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 13:01, July 7, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

EV-9D9

  • Nominated by: AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:43, May 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I have taken care of the leftover objections from the original nomination.

(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)

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Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 20:45, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fantastic work! RattsT (talk) 01:38, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 17:33, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:27, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  5. --Editoronthewiki (talk) 14:36, July 2, 2020 (UTC)

Object

TQG
  • Can you please add her Topps Finest 2019 - Droids card from Star Wars Card Trader to the sources and check that it has no unique information (See here for more details+release date) Toqgers (talk) 06:43, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • It would be good to list this card in Sources even if it doesn't feature unique info. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk)
      • She's also mentioned in the 8D8 card for the set. Should I make entries for both cards on the Card Trader wiki? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:07, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Why not? There's no harm in including them. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 23:38, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
          • Added both cards to the sources section, made them entires in the Card Trader wiki, and added what new information there was to this article. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:03, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
            • You also need to upload images of the cards to that wiki, so that there's a permanent record of them. Also as a note, set names in the template must be italicized. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:27, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
Editor
Shayanomer
  • "...a flaw many of her model shared." This reads a little confusing.
  • You need to state that Galactic Atlas also dates the Battle of Yavin to 0 BBY in the date note.
  • "When the Trandoshan bounty hunter Bossk, working to retrieve the droid for the Empire, tracked it to the palace, the supervisor droid explained that 261 had escaped, claiming that he would soon learn some respect." Please restructure this to reduce its run-on nature.
    • Rewritten. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:41, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • I still think you can do better, try something like "When Bossk tracked the droid to the palace after being hired by the Empire". Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:22, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Han Solo, R2-D2 and C-3PO need context in the body.
    • Added context for Han, R2 and 3PO already have context later in the paragraph. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:41, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • Per precedent, the context is always provided on their first mention. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:22, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • "C-3PO, a protocol droid, was made Jabba's new interpreter, as his last one was disintegrated after it had angered him, and was fitted with a restraining bolt before being returned to the palace's main audience chamber, and R2-D2, an astromech droid, was forced to serve drinks aboard Jabba's sail barge, the Khetanna." This is also too much of a run-on.
    • Split sentence. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:41, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • This will work with the above objection, moving the context will reduce this sentence's run-on nature. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 08:22, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
        • Forgot to note I fixed this with a prior objection. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:02, June 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "...and some very nasty reprogramming." This doesn't sound so formal and encyclopedic.
  • "She ordered the torture of any droid that disobeyed her commands and, more often than not, even those that obeyed her. EV-9D9 relished her role as taskmaster of all the palace's droids and loved disintegrating her subordinates." It looks like information on torturing subordinates/those who obeyed her is repeated here.
    • I disagree, the first sentence explains the circumstances under which she orders the torture of her subordinates. I've swapped the sentences to better clarify this. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:41, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • If there's no relation between EV and the console behind her, then the Equipment section should be removed entirely.
  • I think her appearance in the Battlefront games can be detailed in the BTS (i.e. name of the map where she can be found). Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 16:28, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added Battlefront info to Bts. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:21, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • Release dates for these content updates are needed too, with proper sources. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 14:50, June 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Added. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 04:47, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
          • The WebCitation link for Welcome to the Outer Rim isn't functioning properly. Can you use Internet Archive or another alternative? We're moving away from WebCitation for backup links as the site doesn't do its job properly. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 04:54, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
            • I replaced it with an IA link, but the webpage doesn't seem to function properly when archived. However, the data is still accessible with the ctrl + u command. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:06, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please check Star Wars Helmet Collection and other De Agostini magazines for appearances. I'm certain she's appeared somewhere since this is a prominent character. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 19:05, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • You now have over five redlinks in the article. You'll need to create the pages for the magazines. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 06:56, June 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • That should be all of the redlinks taken care of. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:33, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • An {{Imagecat}} can be added. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 13:48, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
    • Article already had one (down in external links due to how things used to be formatted), but I've moved it up to appearances. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:29, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Now that she's confirmed to be in The Mandalorian, can you add a set photo from the show in the BTS? (this can be taken from Practical) Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 13:48, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please resolve the redlinks in the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 06:13, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think it would be better to move the image of 3PO and R2 to "The fall of a criminal empire," and have the old infobox image in the first section. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 06:22, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
    • Moved and added the old image back. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 07:16, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
      • Can you make some modifications so that the image does not indent the heading? Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 07:24, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
        • Adjusting the size did nothing, so I decided to move it up. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:03, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Context for R2-D2 and C-3PO needed in the intro.
  • Some of the paragraphs look huge in the Oasis skin. Please introduce more paragraph breaks, especially in "Chief of Cyborg Operations", "Characteristics" and the Bts.
  • "Characteristics" also desperately needs an image.
  • Bts could use subsectioning
  • I would move that concept art from Appearances to the Bts.
  • Can you provide a quote for the "Galactic Civil War" section?
    • Moved quote from first section to second since its more relevant. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 01:09, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Speaking of that section. Even though it's called "Galactic Civil War," the actual term is not mentioned once in that section. Maybe it's worth renaming it to something more relevant to EV-9D9?
  • The quote in the Bts would benefit from some context on Anthony Daniels
  • Is 261 supposed to be referred as "he" or "it?" There are instances of both pronouns. Please stick with one.
  • Her non-canon appearance in Disney Infinity 3.0 needs to be discussed in the Bts.
    • Added. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:00, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • I feel like this needs a tad more context. What is this Toy Box mode and what it involves? Just a few more words would suffice. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:34, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • Added some additional context. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:20, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • If she appears in Star Wars: The Original Trilogy – A Graphic Novel, she is likely to appear in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi Graphic Novel Adaptation as well. Please check and add to the "Appearances" if necessary. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:27, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Can confirm that her appearance from the OT graphic novel is intact in the standalone RotJ version. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:47, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Just so this is a formal objection, this article needs to be updated with all missing Mandalorian content. Tommy-Macaroni 08:43, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • Paragraph break needed in the intro.
  • Images need to be repositioned.
    • How do the images look now? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:18, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Pretty good. As of now the concept art image should be moved to the left, but I assume you'll add a picture from Gallery that will offset it anyway. RattsT (talk) 21:26, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • A quote could be added to the first section of the bio. RattsT (talk) 20:31, June 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the Legacy section, can the capacity to which she's mentioned in Survival Skills be expanded?
    • Expanded. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:12, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now it's a run-on. You should break that sentence up. RattsT (talk) 03:51, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Details of the changes between her appearances in Jedi and Mando can be included in Characteristics.
    • By changes, due you literally mean her appearance or her personality - AV-6R7Crew Pit 01:32, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
      • I was referring to the physical changes, yeah; the photoreceptors changing from yellow to white, the insignia on her chestplate disappearing, etc; I don't know if we can really say her personality changed. Maybe just note that she was unhelpful to Djarin. RattsT (talk) 16:47, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
        • Her photoreceptors were always white in RotJ, but merch had them as yellow which has tripped us up for years. I rewatched the scene recently and they're white like in Mando. I'll add the symbols disappearing. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:48, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
          • Added info about her markings disappearing between 4 and 9 ABY. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 18:54, June 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • Mando BTS can be expanded with "Connections" info.
    • Expanded. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 04:55, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
      • One minor thing, the clause of Mark voicing her should be as close as possible to the subject. RattsT (talk) 16:47, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • Some minor objections while the Inuse template remains up:
    • In the final paragraph of the "Fall of a criminal empire" section, it should be noted who tasked R2 with his task.
    • Threepio's "Don't leave me!" quote is missing his "Oh!"
      • Added, as well as context for the "Oh!". - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:05, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
        • I don't think the context is really necessary. RattsT (talk) 02:15, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • I think it's fine since he audibly collides with something in the audio for the quote. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:59, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Mark Hamill's name is misspelled in the "Connections" quote. RattsT (talk) 01:24, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • "Tiny and basis, they were allowed her…" seems to have some grammatical mistakes. RattsT (talk) 00:50, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Redlinks should be created. RattsT (talk) 16:47, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
Braha'tok enthusiast
  • Regarding the large paragraphs in the Characteristics and BtS sections:
    • Characteristics–I would recommend making the last two paragraphs in the characteristics a separate sub-section about EV's mechanical aspects (as that's what those two paragraphs describe) comprising of three paragraphs.
      • How does that look? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:46, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • Is there a quote available for the Physical traits section? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 15:55, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
          • I've basically exhausted all available quotes at this point unless you think Toro's "Think again, tin can." line would be fitting here. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 16:13, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • BtS–The 13 line paragraph in the Conception and Portrayal part of the BtS should be split. It's looking very chunky. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 15:11, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Just noting that she is in the reference book Star Wars: Extraordinary Droids, which I've added to the sources, but there doesn't appear to be any new information in her entry that you need to add. I haven't read it cover to cover yet, but I don't think she's mentioned elsewhere, since she's not in Artoo or Threepio's entry and 8D8 doesn't have an entry of his own. Toqgers (talk) 22:30, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thanks, I had no idea that book was a thing. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 05:46, June 14, 2020 (UTC)


Dreadnought-class heavy cruiser

(0 Inqs/4 Users/4 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Great work incorporating the new information. I've been monitoring the article's changes in recent weeks even before the FA nomination. After a small copy-edit I can find no issues.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:34, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Excellent job. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 11:14, May 27, 2020 (UTC)
  3. This was a good read. RattsT (talk) 05:38, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:28, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

  • The ship appears in The Art of Star Wars Rebels with some new info:
    LIGHT CRUISER
    This versatile vessel is built with hull redundancies to prevent atmosphere from venting into space during combat. Though many ships are used to haul cargo, the class was designed as a warship and outfitted with multiple turbolaser batteries.
    The cruiser's engine bank makes it one of the fastest ships of its class at sublight speeds.
    The inspiration behind the light cruiser debuted in 1989, in a sourcebook for the Star Wars Roleplaying Game.
This text is accompanied by the current BTS image. - Cwedin(talk) 05:14, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Updated the article accordingly. Thanks a lot for letting me know! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:44, May 17, 2020 (UTC)


Jes Gistang (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 115.
  • Date added: June 1, 2020

(+1)

Support

  1. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 07:32, June 11, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Anil
  • As Imperators stated on the Inq review page, P&T needs to have its grammar thoroughly checked.
  • Is the bit about the action figure in BTS actually notable? If so, I don't think the current sources mention the Comic-Con at all. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:10, June 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Nah, probably predated it actually being released. Removed the Comic-Con bit. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:06, June 10, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Dawson (Tynnan)

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 18:31, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Ooh, my first FA nomination!

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:13, July 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • This is from the intro: "Dawson's incendiary talents came in immensely handy for Noone and his associates" There's a grammatical error here.
  • The last sentence of the into is currently one big run-on that's almost half of that paragraph. Please revise this.
  • There are several instances where the article is written in a more narrative tone (e.g. "However, his idyll was not to last", "Not to be deterred", "array of incendiary paraphernalia", just to name a few) rather than a formal, encyclopedic summary. Please try to fix this. Fan26 (Talk) 15:49, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
    • All fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 18:10, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
      • There's still a few cases of encyclopedic tone.
        • These should be fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 09:00, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Sluissi team member Hass Sonax discovered that the meeting was being catered, and so Noone's crew disguised themselves as staff from the fledgling gustatory enterprise Estimable Epicures to get aboard the herdship." I don't think Sonax learning that the meeting had caterers is relevant to Dawson-just say the meeting was being catered. Fan26 (Talk) 01:54, June 29, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Carnivorous plant

  • Nominated by: ~~~~TheTrooperGuy (talk) 16:16, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I've put quite a lot of effort into creating this page, and I hope that I can see it through to featured status!

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:51, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • Top quote and Biology quote link to redirects for the [src].
  • Is there no way to work Jas Emari into the article body, so the link can be removed out of the quote descriptor? (top quote)
  • For an article of this size, the introduction needs to be expanded.
  • I would break up some of the larger paragraphs in 'Biology' and also introduce subsections within that section. This would make it more organized, and also leave room for another quote or two.
  • (History) The dates 21 BBY, 18 BBY, and 14 BBY cannot be pulled directly from said episode/book/comic, you'll need a separate date reference for it.
    • The dating reference for 14 BBY says "...it can be deduced that the events of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order take place around 14 BBY." However, this article says "in 14 BBY". Can it be tied down to in 14 BBY, or should the article be changed to reflect "around"?spookywillowwtalk 14:45, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
      • As far as I know the date isn't pinned down. Fixed.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 19:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • The last part of the BtS is unreferenced.
  • The exact episode airing date should be acquired for the subject's first appearance, with the appropriate reference date for the specific day.
    • Fixed all.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 17:13, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
    • "February 13, 2009" cannot be pulled from only citing the episode itself. Hence why I'd noted that an appropriate separate reference needs to be added to confirm that date.spookywillowwtalk 14:45, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
      • My bad. Meant to link the episode guide.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 19:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • (BtS) "The adaptation of consuming animals in order to gain the nutrients lacking in their soil is shared between the carnivorous plants in Star Wars and those of the real world." is intriguing, but unnecessary.
    • I believe that this information is relevant to BtS, as it shows how the creators of the carnivorous plants of Star Wars drew inspiration from those of Earth. Nevertheless, if the consensus is that the sentence should still be removed, I will do so.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 17:42, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
      • It is general precedent to not include coincidental information in articles, however related to the real world. Our own conjecture and what we perceive to be the inspiration of these topics also matters little. It would be different if the BtS were to include [this Star Wars author] drew inspiration from the real world, and we would include that quote. But, I don't see evidence of anything other than opinion at current. What is done is adding the "External links", which is already here in this case.spookywillowwtalk 14:45, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
        • Fair enough. Edited out reference to the soil of real-world carnivorous plant.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 19:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • The appearances list is missing several audiobook adaptations of those novels.
  • Solve double links.spookywillowwtalk 15:36, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
    • I apologize, I'm not aware of what that means.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 18:00, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
      • Spooky is referring to subjects, such as Graf-World, that are linked to more than once. See here. RattsT (talk) 22:48, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
        • Thanks. I believe I've got them all.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 19:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please adhere to the LG's formatting of images in regards to the proper ordering of left, right, and thumb. Also, check the proper input for the "px" usage.
  • Parenthesis () should be removed from the article body and date notes, and be replaced with commas or — for better flow, and quality of read.
  • In the section "The sarlacc", there should be a way to move a mention of C-3PO into the body, and thus be able to remove the link from the quote description.spookywillowwtalk 14:45, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I'm aware of this issue, but I'm honestly no sure how to fix it. The page originally had a section on sarlaccs under History in which C-3PO was mentioned, but it was removed as the species's status as a carnivorous plant is disputed. Would it be best to remove the quote altogether, or would the reinstatement of sarlaccs under History be acceptable?--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 19:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
      • Not sure, I'll strike for now. Likely to be brought up later.spookywillowwtalk 17:48, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • As this is a canon article, please get rid of all Legends links.
  • The description field of the infobox can be filled, and habitat field can be expanded.
  • The venus flytrap connection can't be sourced to the game, and the external links are unnecessary.
  • Reeksa is listed as appearing in LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens and should be noted in Appearances.
  • Likewise, carnivorous plants appear in the first episode of Star Wars Roll Out on D'Qar. While they don't appear to be creepervines, it should still be noted in the BTS.
    • Done all of the above.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:16, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
      • You should include an air date for the episode. RattsT (talk) 03:27, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
        • Done.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 15:54, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
          • You need to properly source that, a link to the video isn't enough. You need to format that information in {{SWKidsYoutube}} and also save the page on Internet Archive. Instructions on how to do so are in the link. RattsT (talk) 20:43, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
            • Alright, I believe I've now sourced the video correctly. Thanks for the helpful link. Would you happen to know how to source the release dates of media that didn't debut online?--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 03:02, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • Have you checked either The Art of Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order or the Clone Wars episode guide for concept art? That can be included in the BTS.
    • There is indeed concept art in both, though I've attempted to upload images in the past and failed, without figuring out what I did wrong.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 21:06, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) - please do not move or otherwise edit a reviewer's objections. RattsT (talk) 03:27, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • Apologies, I was trying to rearrange in order to address multiple objections in a single reply. Won't happen again.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 15:54, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • The Clone Wars episode date can be sourced to it's original episode guide; that content is no longer available on StarWars.com, but can be accessed through archive sites. You can see how to properly reference it here.
  • The old guide needs to be added to Sources, along with a {{1stID}} tag. RattsT (talk) 05:54, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • Once again, there's a release date without a reference, the Ewoks episode this time. RattsT (talk) 23:55, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yeah I'm aware, sorry. Looking for a source for the date. Is IMDB acceptable?--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 03:59, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Definitely not. Wikipedia and IMDB, just like Wookieepedia, can be edited by anyone, and facts should not be taken from those sites unless they are clearly corroborated by additional sources. You will need something else. RattsT (talk) 22:24, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Alright, all dates have now been sourced.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 17:01, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
          • Can all of the information in that sentence be sourced to the Insider article, or just the airdate? If the latter, you'll need to rearrange the references. RattsT (talk) 07:57, July 4, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
  • {{Imagecat}} needs to be added.
  • Designation of sentience is infobox-exclusive. The information needs to be included in the article body - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 14:49, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • No problem! Continuing on, there are a few instances of italics that don't surround any text (e.g. '' ''). They should be removed.
  • Please bear in mind that files and templates should use underscores in place of spaces (e.g. File:Jaw_Plant.jpg, not File:Jaw Plant.jpg).
  • Headers should not be flanked by spaces (e.g. ==Section name==, not == Section name ==).
  • There's an undefined reference in the bts section (<ref name=":0" />).
  • Return of the Jedi's release year needs to be sourced. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 16:33, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry, I'm not sure what a valid source for release dates is. They don't seem to be on StarWars.com. Trying to find an example elsewhere on the Wook.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 17:39, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • Sorry to interject, but I don't think films release year needs specific sourcing, J'Quille for example doesn't --Lewisr (talk) 03:23, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yeah, so far, I've yet to find any example of a referenced film release date in a featured article.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 04:13, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • When using multiple references in a row, they should be formatted in ascending order. Please adjust that in the infobox and anywhere else where applicable.
  • Please format ref 19 using {{Youtube}}
  • Non-canonical appearance in LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens needs to be discussed in the Bts.
  • As carnivorous plants have existed in the Legends continuity prior to their appearance in The Clone Wars (ex. Stranglethorn), you will need to mention their first appearance in Legends in the Bts, per general precedent. This will require a bit of research, though. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:01, June 30, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • While the effort you've put into this article is commendable, I don't think it's suitable for status. The sixth rule of the nomination guidelines states that articles must be stable, meaning they should not appear in future material, which warrants updates to them. In my opinion, this is most likely one of those articles as this is a much broader topic. Shayanomer Din Djarin&#039;s clan (talk) 20:25, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • While this article does indeed cover a broad subject, I disagree with Shayanomer here. Carnivorous plants have relatively few appearances in canon so far, and this article is currently not in danger of changing "significantly from day to day," as the guidelines suggest. As long as the nominator can sufficiently continue to keep this page up to date with any following appearances that may occur, I see no reason that the article be deemed unsuitable for status. RattsT (talk) 03:27, June 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • I appreciate you voicing your stance, and I agree. Significant day-to-day changes to the page are unlikely to happen in the foreseeable future, and I can vouch for my own dedication to maintaining its up-to-date status.--TheTrooperGuy (talk) 04:11, July 1, 2020 (UTC)


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