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(Arca Jeth)
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<s>The first sentence of the Bio is reffed to EGtPM, yet it mentions his Sephi heritage. Can you fix this? --[[User:Eyrezer|Eyrezer]] 05:20, October 31, 2011 (UTC)</s>
 
<s>The first sentence of the Bio is reffed to EGtPM, yet it mentions his Sephi heritage. Can you fix this? --[[User:Eyrezer|Eyrezer]] 05:20, October 31, 2011 (UTC)</s>
 
*Thanks for the review, Eyr. Please advise if anything further is required.<span style="white-space:nowrap"><small>'''[[User:Tommy9281|<span style="font-weight: bold; color:#000000;">—Tommy</span>]] [[User talk:Tommy9281|<span style="color:#FFAF00;">9281</span>]] Monday, November 7, 2011, 05:01 UTC</small>'''</span>
 
*Thanks for the review, Eyr. Please advise if anything further is required.<span style="white-space:nowrap"><small>'''[[User:Tommy9281|<span style="font-weight: bold; color:#000000;">—Tommy</span>]] [[User talk:Tommy9281|<span style="color:#FFAF00;">9281</span>]] Monday, November 7, 2011, 05:01 UTC</small>'''</span>
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=====Star=====
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*Needs to be updated with the info from SW:TOR. Otherwise, it looks fine to me. [[User:StarNeptune|<b><span style="color: teal">StarNeptune</span></b>]]<sup>[[User talk:StarNeptune|Talk to me!]]</sup> 00:00, January 5, 2012 (UTC)
   
 
====Comments====
 
====Comments====
 
*This article would have been next in line to go onto the [[Wookieepedia:Re-featured article nominations|RFAN page]]. As such, how about putting it on the queue if this nom passes? [[User:Menkooroo|Menkooroo]] 05:45, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
 
*This article would have been next in line to go onto the [[Wookieepedia:Re-featured article nominations|RFAN page]]. As such, how about putting it on the queue if this nom passes? [[User:Menkooroo|Menkooroo]] 05:45, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
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Revision as of 00:00, January 5, 2012

Arca Jeth

  • Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Thursday, June 30, 2011, 23:39 UTC
  • Nomination comments: Completely rewritten.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Template:Inqvote TOTJ FTW. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:15, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:51, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Template:Inqvote --Eyrezer 10:32, November 13, 2011 (UTC)
  4. Tinwe(comlink) 08:57, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Floyd knows TOTJ too, ya know:
  • Some of the paragraphs, including the last paragraph of the intro, are exceedingly long and should be broken up.
    • Addressed.
  • Context in the body on the Nelori Marauders. Were they pirates too?
  • Knight of the Republic: "A series of defeats drove the enemy from their home to the safety of the heavily-disputed Hyabb-Twith Corridor, in recognition of the local government's reluctance to provoke each other with mutual efforts to patrol such heavily-disputed shipping lanes." "Heavily-disputed" is used twice here. Vary it up.
    • Addressed.
  • Same section: "Forced to call for aid themselves, the beleaguered endured another forty-eight hours before thirty Jedi arrived in their support." A word missing here, perhaps?
    • Addressed.
  • You mention "mechu macture" during the intro, but not during the recounting of the Great Droid Revolution in the body.
    • Was "disabled HK-01's entire droid army via the Force" not sufficient? If not, let me know if you also want me to say mechu macture and I will.
  • Not necessarily an objection, but you mention that Jeth was a Jedi Master during the Great Droid Revolution; is there any indication that he was one during the clashes with the Lorell Raiders and the Nelori Marauders?
    • No. The sources include him with "Jedi Knights" up until the revolution, the source for which is the first to identify him as a Master.
  • A bit of a timing thing here: In "New responsibilities", you write that "Around that time, he loaned his holocron to friend and fellow Jedi Master Thon of Ambria, to assist in the training of his latest apprentice, a young Human woman named Nomi Sunrider." Now this is told before the events of the Beast Wars, but Thon didn't train Sunrider until after the Beast Wars. It sounds from your prose that he gave Thon the holocron specifically to train Sunrider, although this is recounted before Sunrider becomes Thon's apprentice. Apologies if I'm unclear.
    • Actually, Thon trained Nomi during the Beast Wars, but it doesn't quite specify when he got the holocron. Nevertheless, I moved that sentence down further in the chronology.
  • "Jeth called him, his brother, and Tott Doneeta together, to explain—through benefit of an extremely lifelike Force illusion—the history of Onderon." Now I may need to look at the comic again, but are you sure it's a Force illusion? I thought it was just an illustration by the author, not something that the Jedi were seeing too.
    • I have it sourced to the audio, which identifies it as an illusion.
  • The Naddist Revolt: "Jeth oversaw the consecration by Republic laws the union of Queen Galia and Oron Kira, and their official assumption of planetary sovereignty." I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that occurs at the end of the Beast Wars, not the Naddist rebellion.
    • Addressed.
  • Excellent work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 02:28, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review, Floyd. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, July 10, 2011, 13:13 UTC
Tinwe
  • I'm a little uneasy with calling Jeth an "Arkanian and Sephi male." Sure, he had Sephi blood as KotOR #48 states, but saying it this way makes it seem (to me, anyway) like he was half-and-half. Who knows, maybe it was Jeth's great-great-great-great-great-grandmother who once had a baby with some Sephi guy and those pointed ears have been popping up occasionally throughout the later generations ever since. Which is to say, I think Jeth's Sephi ancestry should be noted as vaguely as in the comic: by simply saying that he had Sephi blood. At least until we know how much exactly.
    • Addressed.
      • In the intro, yes, but I think the same change should be made to the Biography section as well. Tinwe(comlink) 11:59, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
        • I agree with Tinwe that this should be changed in the Biography section, too. --Eyrezer 05:23, October 31, 2011 (UTC)
          • Forgot about that one. Addressed now.—Tommy 9281 Tuesday, November 1, 2011, 22:13 UTC
  • The Jedi Order became aware of the Marauders' aggressions, and as the number of dead Republic citizens increased, Jedi met on the library world of Ossus and the decision was made to stand against them. I think this sentence is saying that the Jedi were going to stand against the dead Republic citizens... At least it can be read that way, so some rewording might be appropriate to kill the ambiguity.
    • Addressed
  • ...and of the original twenty-four originally dispatched to the Hyabb-Twith Corridor... I think there's one original too many in there. :P
    • Lol, addressed.
  • KotOR #48 doesn't state outright that the doctors who treated Jeth after the fire were employed by Adascorp—the comic just says they were "Arkanian surgeons." It's a reasonable assumption I guess, since the comic goes on saying that the Adasca family later doctored all the history holos of Jeth to remove the pointy ears, but it's still an assumption. And by the way, I think the holodoctoring should also be mentioned in the article.
    • Addressed, I believe.
  • Did some contextualizing/linking while I was at it. Othewise, very nice work. :) Tinwe(comlink) 14:07, September 15, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review, Tinwe. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Friday, September 16, 2011, 04:47 UTC
  • One more thing: No mention of Ionize in the P&A section? I'm not familiar with all of the source materials myself, but from what I've gathered from reading our articles here at Wook, Jeth pretty much invented that particular Force power (or "discovered" it, at least), so I'd say it warrants a mention. Tinwe(comlink) 11:59, October 1, 2011 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thanks again, Tinwe. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Saturday, October 1, 2011, 17:43 UTC
      • Hi, and sorry for not getting back at you earlier; I haven't been around much in the past two or three weeks. In regard to the "ionize" objection above, I think you could add something like "a Force power known as mechu macture or ionize" after the sentence you wrote about it in the P&A section (He was also well known for his ability to disable droids through the Force.). I know the name of that particular power is mentioned earlier in the article, but that's way back in the intro, so this would be a good opportunity to remind the readers. Besides, "disabling droids through the Force" sounds a bit... general to me. This way it would be clear that the droid disable is an actual Force power and not just some offhand way of using the Force. (Did that make any sense? Oh well.) Maybe it should also be mentioned that Jeth was the first to discover the ionize power? (If it indeed was him; that's what the ionize article claims, but if the article's wrong then just forget about mentioning Jeth being the first practitioner of ionize. :) Tinwe(comlink) 17:14, November 7, 2011 (UTC)
        • Okay, all set.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, November 20, 2011, 00:23 UTC
          • Btw, you accidentally wrote mechu deru instead of macture, but I fixed that, so it's all good. :) Tinwe(comlink) 08:57, November 20, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
  • In the last paragraph of "Knight of the Republic," the are two consecutive TOTJCG refs. Was there meant to be another ref between them?
    • Addressed.
  • New Responsibilities: "While his students trained, Jeth continued to survey the planet and searched for any presence, no matter how small, of the influence of the dark side." Is it just me, or does "presence of the influence of the dark side" sounds kinda weird?
    • Addressed.
  • "After a time, the Jedi Council deemed the training of Draay and Hulis complete, and authorized their promotion to the status of Jedi Knight." Could you establish that the Hulis you refer to here is Krynda. When I first read this, I thought you meant Noab, and was confused since Noab was established as a Master earlier.
    • Addressed.
  • The Naddist Revolt: "Jeth then sent Tott Doneeta to the nearby planet Ambria, whereupon resided the great Tchuukthai Jedi Master Thon" I think "the great Tchuukthai Jedi Master Thon" seems more appropriate for Thon's first introduction. Here, it seems a bit off.
    • Addressed.
  • I understand the need to call Cay and Ulic by names, but the usage of full names of other characters after their first mentions is unnecessary.
    • I looked over the ones that are there and, while there are many full name mentions, they feel necessary to me. That said, I completely understand your objection. How about you remove whichever ones you feel are unnecessary, I have no problem with that at all.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, October 23, 2011, 21:04 UTC
      • OK, I've removed a few extraneous ones. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:43, October 29, 2011 (UTC)
  • "seven Knights soon stormed Ommin's stronghold" Counting the Qel-Dromas, Doneeta, Willum, and the five that arrived with reinforcements, gives us nine Knights. I think you need to specify which ones of them were among the seven that rescued Jeth.
    • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, October 23, 2011, 21:04 UTC
  • "thus dashing his dream to create an army of Mandalorian Knights with which his kinsfolk planned to avenge themselves against the Jedi Order" Avenge for what?
    • Addressed.
  • "Another of Jeth's pupils, the seer Krynda Draay" The last time you mentioned Krynda, she was still Hulis. You need to establish her marriage to Barrison to justify the usage of the Draay last name.
    • Mind if I just call her Hulis at this point?—Tommy 9281 Sunday, October 23, 2011, 21:04 UTC
      • I think we should follow the original source on that. If we know that she was Draay by that point, we should address her as such, and therefore provide context on her marriage. This will also allow you to specify that she lost her husband during the war, instead of the current vague statement that "she lost much." This information is quite appropriate for the Legacy section, as both were Jeth's apprentices. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 16:43, October 29, 2011 (UTC)
        • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Saturday, October 29, 2011, 17:31 UTC
  • P&A "Arca Jeth was an authority on galactic lore, Alien species and languages, to include his native tongue, Basic, and the antiquated High Galactic dialect." I don't quite get the meaning of this sentence.
    • Addressed.
  • Bts "Several comic issues of the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic metaseries, one of which Vindication, Part 2, incorrectly misspelled his first name as "Arka" in one caption" This one is a bit confusing. Was the name misspelled in Vindication, Part 2? Then what's the story with "several comic issues"?
    • Addressed.
  • That's it. Great job, Tommy. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:49, October 20, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review, QGJ. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, October 23, 2011, 21:04 UTC
Eyrezer

The first sentence of the Bio is reffed to EGtPM, yet it mentions his Sephi heritage. Can you fix this? --Eyrezer 05:20, October 31, 2011 (UTC)

  • Thanks for the review, Eyr. Please advise if anything further is required.—Tommy 9281 Monday, November 7, 2011, 05:01 UTC
Star
  • Needs to be updated with the info from SW:TOR. Otherwise, it looks fine to me. StarNeptuneTalk to me! 00:00, January 5, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

  • This article would have been next in line to go onto the RFAN page. As such, how about putting it on the queue if this nom passes? Menkooroo 05:45, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
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