- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Mission to Bardram Scoft[]
- Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:31, 8 April 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Another Yakov SAN that almost passed but went over the word count? Can't be :P
- Date Archived: 17:40, 4 March 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1085 words (157 introduction, 899 body, 29 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1085 words (157 introduction, 899 body, 29 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:Chiss, WP:Novels
(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)
Support[]
Object[]
Samonic[]
Article could use some sectioning and some images. And with sectioning, some more quotes.— Samonic 17:18, 16 April 2022 (UTC)- I can't think of any ways to create subsections for the article. If you have ideas, I'd be happy to implement them. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:52, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
Context for Prefect.— Samonic 12:37, 25 May 2022 (UTC)- Better? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 02:07, 30 May 2022 (UTC)
Article should use the {{Mission}} template.Samonic 16:22, 10 July 2022 (UTC)- Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:40, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
I would say the core names should be mentioned without parentheses. (Like this: Mitth'raw'nuruodo "Thrawn"/Mitth'raw'nuruodo, core name Thrawn,)Samonic 08:34, 14 July 2022 (UTC)- Okay, done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:43, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
We avoid saying Unidentified, instead, we use "An ambassador," for example.Samonic 22:06, 26 July 2022 (UTC)- For the infobox? Changed. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:44, 27 July 2022 (UTC)
Can you add one or two more images? For example the logo of the Expansionary Defense Fleet for the Aftermath. ("Supreme General Ba'kif of the Chiss Expansionary Defense Fleet (logo pictured) and Senior Captain Thrawn discussed the possibility of striking back at the Lioaoi") Samonic 20:01, 27 July 2022 (UTC)- "As a result, nations with diplomatic relations with the Scofti" in the intro; "requiring neighboring nations" in the body. Which is correct?
- The Unidentified Chiss ambassador should be linked in the second paragraph of the Prelude.
- I think that the Force should be the Great Presence, as the navigators/Chiss refer to it as such.
- "Concurrently to the mission, the Chiss had been faced with pirates attacking their shipping freighters in the outer reaches of" I don't think we know that an attack was underway at the same time as the mission.
- I don't think mentioning Schesa is necessary, or relevant to the mission.
An article for the Liaoi attacks should be created.Samonic 18:11, 31 July 2022 (UTC)- Review note: for the record, Yakov allowed me to take over so this nomination is not removed. Samonic 14:30, 16 August 2022 (UTC)
Missing category, Category:Unidentified events.- Thanks. I didn't know that existed haha. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:41, 17 October 2022 (UTC)
One more thing: Missing links to diplomat, (also in the body) warship, merchant.Samonic (Talk) 13:56, 15 September 2022 (UTC)- Fixed -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:41, 17 October 2022 (UTC)
Ziara[]
- core names in infobox should be used
- per newly established precedent, Chiss full/core names should be written out as - Mitth'raw'nuruodo, core name "Thrawn" at first mention. everything else is Mitth'raw'nuruodo "Thrawn"
- language doesnt need to be specified in quote attribs
- add Thrawn's affiliation (CEDF) in the intro
- date note can be shrunk to (paraphrased) "CR takes place in 19 BBY per here. as the mission to bardman scoft took place before the novels main events it took place by 19 BBY"
- Prelude, paragraph 2: the "previous prefect" links to a disambig
- The mission, paragraph 1: the ship was a diplomatic cruiser, not a warship.
- throughout the article you use "Thrawn" quite a bit, add variation by referring to him as "the junior commander", "the chiss", "the pilot" etc.
- Aftermath: you link Thrawn's "mission" against the lioaoi to Mission to the Lioaoin heartworld, but the immediate retaliation in the flashbacks is the Skirmish in the Kinoss system. the last sentence should be reworded as such BloodOfIrizi (talk) 01:51, 21 December 2022 (UTC)
Comments[]
- This nomination is currently paused. Members of the Inquisition, please refrain from considering objections overdue for the time being. The nomination will resume when the nominator is able to return to editing. MasterFred(talk) (he/him) 00:58, 2 January 2023 (UTC)