JocastaBot (talk | contribs) m (Archiving Purrgil) |
JocastaBot (talk | contribs) m (Archiving Unidentified Republic soldier (Falang Minor)) |
||
Line 71: | Line 71: | ||
{{/Onager-class Star Destroyer}} |
{{/Onager-class Star Destroyer}} |
||
− | |||
− | {{/Unidentified Republic soldier (Falang Minor)}} |
||
{{/S-R6}} |
{{/S-R6}} |
Revision as of 20:59, 19 September 2021
WP:FAN
This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.
The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.
In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.
Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.
A Featured article must…
- …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
- …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
- …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
- …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
- …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
- …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
- …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
- …have no redlinks.
- …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
- …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
- …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
- …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
- …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
- …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
- …be nominated by a user who has promoted at least one article to Good article status. Exceptions can be made for a Good article nomination that, due to objections post-nomination, has gone over the Good article word limit, so long as the number of words added during the Good article nomination process is 250 or fewer.
How to nominate:
- Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fifteen requirements stated above.
- Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
- Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
- Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
- Purge the article to update the template.
- Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
- The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
- Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
- Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
- Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.
How to review:
- To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
- The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
- Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
- Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
Result:
- If a nomination has been active for over two days and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes.
- Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination using JocastaBot in Wookieepedia's Discord server and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.
Contents
- 1 Featured article nominations
- 1.1 Onager-class Star Destroyer
- 1.2 S-R6
- 1.3 Alaris Prime colonial war
- 1.4 Larry
- 1.5 Ginivex-class fanblade starfighter
- 1.6 Battle for Alaris Prime
- 1.7 Unidentified Trade Federation base
- 1.8 Graak (lawbreaker)
- 1.9 Atrisian Commonwealth
- 1.10 Battle of Columus
- 1.11 Fideltin Rusk
- 1.12 Dromund Kaas operation
- 1.13 Sajar
- 1.14 Attack on Fondor
- 1.15 Revan
- 1.15.1 (1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
- 1.15.1.1 Support
- 1.15.1.2 Object
- 1.15.1.3 Comments
- 1.15.1.4 Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- 1.15.1 (1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
- 1.16 Seftin Vanik
- 1.17 Aron Peacebringer
- 1.18 S. V. Skynx
- 1.19 Jai Maruk
- 1.20 Invincible
- 1.21 Renz
- 1.22 Flame-colored robes
- 1.23 Belaya
- 1.24 Atrisi system
- 1.25 Suljo Warde
- 1.26 Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant
This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.
The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.
In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.
Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.
A Featured article must…
- …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
- …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
- …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
- …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
- …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
- …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
- …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
- …have no redlinks.
- …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
- …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
- …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
- …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
- …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
- …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
How to nominate:
- Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fourteen requirements stated above.
- Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
- Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
- Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
- Purge the article to update the template.
- Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
- The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
- Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
- Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
- Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.
How to review:
- To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
- The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
- Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
- Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
- If a nomination has been active for over one week and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes. Alternatively, if a nomination is between two and seven days old and has no active objections, it can pass with a total of seven Inquisitorius votes.
- Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination, tag the article with the {{Top|fa}} template, tag its talk page with the {{FA}} template, and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.
Note: Reduxed articles require only four support votes to maintain their Featured status, all of which must come from Inquisitors. Reduxed articles will be subject to immediate removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.
Featured article nominations
View recent changes for this page and its subpages
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Onager-class Star Destroyer
- Nominated by:--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:25, March 4, 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Giving featured article nominations another try!
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:FFG, WP:AMB
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Great job on fixing up the article! —Tomotron (Star Forge) 01:02, March 10, 2020 (UTC)
- QuiGonJinn (Talk) 14:45, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
- A fine read. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:09, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
- Mr Star Wars Amino Republic talk 6:30 May 30, 2020 (UTC)
- Nice work! Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:49, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 20:35, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Love the detailed description of the ship ~ Loqiical (talk) 00:15, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Tommy-Macaroni 10:36, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
UberSoldat
- Well done for the most part, however, you have some issues:
"Navigation computer" seems to be infobox-exclusive.- Added--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
Battle of Endor should be given a date in the intro- Added--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
"During the Galactic Civil War, there were several examples of this class. Several ships were the Cataclysm, the Rakehell, the Sunder, and the Onager-class Testbed." This can be merged into one sentence to use the named ships as the examples specified in the first sentence.- Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
"Beyond the end of the indentation but before the command tower structure were two deflector shield generator domes similar to those[3] found in Imperial-class Star Destroyers,[6] as well as several other deflector shield generators." I don't think you should use Rogue One as a source if it doesn't mention the deflector shield generator. I would suggest replacing the reference with the Blueprints from Card Trader (See the exact card used in the status articles Formidable and Adjudicator).- Thanks! Fixed!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Ok so for this, you'll need to make two separate references. For stuff like "solar ionization reactor" or "deflector shield," follow Rakehell, Sunder, and Cataclysm as examples. You don't need two separate references for that info. Secondly, the reference for the ISD should be the card directly, as you've currently used the same reference for both. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Fixed I think--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:19, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Ok so for this, you'll need to make two separate references. For stuff like "solar ionization reactor" or "deflector shield," follow Rakehell, Sunder, and Cataclysm as examples. You don't need two separate references for that info. Secondly, the reference for the ISD should be the card directly, as you've currently used the same reference for both. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks! Fixed!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
Second paragraph of the History section is missing a reference at the end.- Added--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
Do the sources make the connection between the Mandator IV and the Onager? If they don't, then I don't think you can say the former functioned similarly to the latter. What you could say is that the concept of orbital bombardment weaponry aboard a Star Destroyer was implemented into the Mandator IV.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:02, March 5, 2020 (UTC)- Reworded--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
Galactic Civil War should be given dates.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:07, March 5, 2020 (UTC)- Added--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:15, March 6, 2020 (UTC)
Article needs to list all cards within the Expansion Pack that feature or mention the Onager instead of just linking the whole set like that.UberSoldat93 (talk) 01:25, 29 November 2020 (UTC)- Done --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:38, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
Sources need to be listed chronologically, and a 1stID next to the source that identifies the ship by its full name.- Done --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:15, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
The article says "Imperial Siege Breaker" while BTS and the Sources section say "Siege Breaker." Please correct this.UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:17, 8 December 2020 (UTC)- Done --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:15, 8 December 2020 (UTC)
"Sometime between the years[2] 5 and 0 BBY[10] during the early rebellion against the Galactic Empire..." Since we determined that the Civil War starts by 4 BBY, I think you should just remove the "early rebellion" bit.UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:24, 8 December 2020 (UTC)- Fixed, though I added "Imperial Era" --Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:48, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
You will now have to list the Onager cards rereleased in Upgrade Card Collection. These are different from the original cards so you need to list them separately.UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:01, 9 December 2020 (UTC)- Added --Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:48, 10 December 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
The size of the article warrants a larger intro than just one paragraph. Also, please fix the italicization formatting of this nomination.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:13, April 20, 2020 (UTC)- Expanded intro. I fixed italicization of the title of the nomination, is there anything else?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:35, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
- I'll let you know. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:39, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
- Oop, I meant if there was anything else in terms of italicization! Haha sorry. Thank you.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:40, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
- I'll let you know. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:39, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
- Expanded intro. I fixed italicization of the title of the nomination, is there anything else?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:35, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
You've got a few duplicate links.- Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
Please fix image caption formatting. Remember that only full sentences get a period at the end.- I changed image captions, and I think I fixed the formatting--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
Each ref note should have all available subjects linked to.- Done--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
Can you reformat ref 4 to make it less cumbersome? It's really hard to understand what it's trying to get across at the moment.QuiGonJinn (Talk) 09:43, May 3, 2020 (UTC)- I think I made it better.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:03, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
There are instances of info sourced to two consecutive references. Those should be avoided unless absolutely necessary. And if they are necessary, then consecutive ref notes should always be arranged in ascending order. There are some refs that do not follow this rule.QuiGonJinn (Talk) 15:36, May 6, 2020 (UTC)- Done, can't find anymore instances--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:17, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
Haxen Delto and Airen Cracken shouldn't be linked in the quote template.- Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
The alternate names "Onager-class Destroyer and "Siege Breaker" are completely unnecessary. I see that when mentioned without -class, Onager isn't capitalised, but there's no point including it as an alternate title in the intro.- Removed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
- "Onager" still pending removal. - - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
- I don't agree that Onager should be removed, but I've removed it--Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:51, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
- "Onager" still pending removal. - - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
- Removed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
Same goes for the list of names in "General characteristics" section.- Removed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
Some of the images could be enlarged.- Done--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
"Despite the Rebel victory at Endor […]" Not sure about the capitalisation of "rebel" here. Is it capitalised in the source?- Changed to Rebel Alliance--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
Starter sentence for the Legacy section should connect with the previous line about the GCW. The Empire's ultimate defeat there should be mentioned in place of "after the fall of the Galactic Empire."- Done--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
I found some linking of individual words of proper compound nouns while skimming through the article. (e.g. Death Star) There's probably a few more in the article that needs removing.- - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 18:53, September 22, 2020 (UTC)- Thank you. I'll check through it and remove any more that I find--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
- I can't find any more but I'll keep looking--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:52, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
- Great. Striking so that the objection won't exceed the time limit. - - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
- I can't find any more but I'll keep looking--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:52, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you. I'll check through it and remove any more that I find--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:45, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
Not sure what this is about. Please reword with some formal language and without original research. "At one point during the Imperial Era, an Imperial moff ordered an Onager-class Star Destroyer to destroy a city from orbit, while in another moment an Alliance base was destroyed, though it was undetermined if the Empire had equipped a miniaturized Death Star superlaser on an Onager or if it was something else."- - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:58, October 1, 2020 (UTC)- That is not original research, that's how it's worded in the source. I've slightly reworded to be more encyclopedic, but I'd appreciate it if you don't say that I'm using original research without checking first, thanks.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:48, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
- Sorry for the assumption. Does the source mention who was undetermined as to whether the Onager used DS technology? Also, I don't understand what "a different circumstance" is referring to; that the Onager could have been equipped with some other technology? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 15:41, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
- No worries! The source phrases the sentence as a question, so for that piece of information within the question I phrased it as being undetermined. Additionally, "a different circumstance" is the change I made to "something else" to make it more encyclopedic, since the source says "something else." The full statement is "Has the Empire successfully mounted a miniaturized Death Star superlaser on an Onager, or did something else destroyed the base?"--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:25, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
- Sorry for the assumption. Does the source mention who was undetermined as to whether the Onager used DS technology? Also, I don't understand what "a different circumstance" is referring to; that the Onager could have been equipped with some other technology? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 15:41, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
- That is not original research, that's how it's worded in the source. I've slightly reworded to be more encyclopedic, but I'd appreciate it if you don't say that I'm using original research without checking first, thanks.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 13:48, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
The Mustafar DB entry doesn't say the action at Mustafar marked the beginning of the GCW, only that it was "one of the earliest rebel victories" of the war. Please revise the article accordingly.- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 15:41, October 8, 2020 (UTC)- Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:33, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
The article body and intro states the alternative name is "Imperial Siege Breaker," while it's just "Siege Breaker" in bts.- It's because it was originally only identified as the Siege Breaker. Onager-class Star Destroyer and Imperial Siege Breaker originate from much later sources.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:33, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
Could the Onager's designation as a capital ship be included in the infobox?- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 13:55, October 9, 2020 (UTC)- I don't think so, since none of the other capital ship articles include it in the infobox, such as Secutor-class Star Destroyer, as well as that capital ship is not a class or role--Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:33, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
- (Reviewing note) Links should be provided in individuals references; when used in ref notes, they don't count as duplicate links.
- Thanks--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:58, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
- (Reviewing note) Twitter citations don't need an image link if a backup link is already provided.
- Thanks, that was prior to the change--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:58, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
The Legacy section could use an additional image.- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 11:47, October 16, 2020 (UTC)- Added--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:58, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
The amount of text in the caption of the last image is a bit too much. Enlarging the image would help, but even then the text should be shortened.- - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 14:50, 29 November 2020 (UTC)- Shortened --Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:21, 29 November 2020 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
Can we try to divide these massive sections up? A section should ideally be between 1-3 paragraphs.MasterFred(talk) 04:26, 12 November 2020 (UTC)- Would subsectioning work? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:14, 17 November 2020 (UTC)
- That would be the only way to do it while following the LG. MasterFred(talk) 07:59, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
- Done --Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:21, 29 November 2020 (UTC)
- That would be the only way to do it while following the LG. MasterFred(talk) 07:59, 26 November 2020 (UTC)
- Would subsectioning work? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:14, 17 November 2020 (UTC)
To build off the last objection, with more sections, are there any more images or quotes that could be added?MasterFred(talk) 05:14, 2 December 2020 (UTC)- There's no other quotes but there is an image, though I don't really want to use it since there's no high quality version. File:SunderFFG.png. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:58, 4 December 2020 (UTC)
- That's fair. That image is definitely not suitable for a status article. MasterFred(talk) 03:55, 11 December 2020 (UTC)
- There's no other quotes but there is an image, though I don't really want to use it since there's no high quality version. File:SunderFFG.png. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:58, 4 December 2020 (UTC)
{{Mediacat}} should be placed inside the reference scrollbox.MasterFred(talk) 03:58, 11 December 2020 (UTC)- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:09, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
- Actually, it should go in "Sources," but since I misspoke, I went ahead and moved it. MasterFred(talk) 21:10, 25 December 2020 (UTC)
- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:09, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
Is there a reason you don't italicize "Onager" when on its own?MasterFred(talk) 06:29, 25 January 2021 (UTC)- Starships and Speeders doesn't italicize, so I didn't either. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:02, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
You shouldn't start a new section with a pronoun when referring to the subject of the article.- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:02, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
"Toward," "forward," "backward," and similar words are preferred without the "s" at the end.- Done, can't find any more examples. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:02, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
See here for an explanation on when to use "that" versus "which." You can see where I changed some in my copy-edit here, but that only covers the intro and first two sections.MasterFred(talk) 06:51, 25 January 2021 (UTC)- Seems like most of them were in the paragraphs you fixed. Done. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:06, 26 January 2021 (UTC)
The first sentence of "Role" is a run-on sentence.- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 19:53, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
- I still think you can split the remaining sentence in two for better flow. MasterFred(talk) 19:57, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
- Which part of the sentence? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:34, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
- I still think you can split the remaining sentence in two for better flow. MasterFred(talk) 19:57, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 19:53, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
"Considered an even greater threat" by who?MasterFred(talk) 19:39, 26 April 2021 (UTC)- It's not specified --Vitus InfinitusTalk 19:53, 26 April 2021 (UTC)
Tommy
To clarify, is the relationship between the Onager and the Mandator IV directly mentioned in sources? Or is that a link you've made?- I have spoken with Vitus, and he has allowed me to adopt the nomination. Alright, I have not found any established connection between the two ships, nor with the Xyston. I can ask Vitus if you'd like me to, though.
Erebus Chronus (talk)
18:35, 1 April 2021 (UTC)- I've spoken with Vitus, and the connection is established in the Rebel Files. It implies that the technology was used by the First Order.
Erebus Chronus (talk)
21:05, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- I've spoken with Vitus, and the connection is established in the Rebel Files. It implies that the technology was used by the First Order.
- I have spoken with Vitus, and he has allowed me to adopt the nomination. Alright, I have not found any established connection between the two ships, nor with the Xyston. I can ask Vitus if you'd like me to, though.
Please refer to the MoS section on linking.Tommy-Macaroni 13:46, 1 April 2021 (UTC)- I can't find any links you may be referring to.
Erebus Chronus (talk)
18:35, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- I can't find any links you may be referring to.
OK, so first of all I think we could get some more images in here, especially in the Characteristics section. With the upgrade card collection, we now have modestly good scans of artwork only available on Armada cards, so I think getting images of maybe the Orbital Bombardment Particle Cannons, Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers, and maybe the Sunder could be good to better illustrate the article, depending on how much room there is.- Added two images, though I don't have the Upgrade Card Collection or a scanner. The quality is iffy, but I noticed that you had the collection, so if the quality isn't as good I wanted to ask if you could maybe be able to get a good quality image? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
- I don't have a scanner either; I originally pulled the Sunder scan from this video, which contains scans of the entire collection. Maybe try to use that to get better quality on the Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers image. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Ah perfect, uploaded higher quality image. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:57, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
- I don't have a scanner either; I originally pulled the Sunder scan from this video, which contains scans of the entire collection. Maybe try to use that to get better quality on the Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers image. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Added two images, though I don't have the Upgrade Card Collection or a scanner. The quality is iffy, but I noticed that you had the collection, so if the quality isn't as good I wanted to ask if you could maybe be able to get a good quality image? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
I'm also wondering how relevant the last paragraph of the history section is. First off, the Onager isn't mentioned once in that paragraph, which suggests there is extraneous info. That fact you've inferred the link between the Onager and the Mandator is fine, but I'd recommend it be a passing mention, not an entire paragraph, which makes it seem like the link between the two ships is official.Tommy-Macaroni 09:35, 2 August 2021 (UTC)- Okay, I kept the link between the Onager and Mandator with some more trimming and removed the other information. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
- Good stuff, though you now have a whole paragraph where the Onager isn't mentioned (Legacy, P1). I suggest having the following structure: Describe the excavation, the Resistance's acquisition, and the annotation of the Onager section. Then paragraph break. Then specifically describe those annotations, which will lead onto the Mandator IV mention at the end. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Finished! --Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:57, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
- Good stuff, though you now have a whole paragraph where the Onager isn't mentioned (Legacy, P1). I suggest having the following structure: Describe the excavation, the Resistance's acquisition, and the annotation of the Onager section. Then paragraph break. Then specifically describe those annotations, which will lead onto the Mandator IV mention at the end. Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, I kept the link between the Onager and Mandator with some more trimming and removed the other information. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:06, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
The intro needs some work. The mention of the Xyston is currently intro exclusive, so that needs to be removed. I'd also advise removing the Mandator mention as well, since it only has a fleeting reference in the body, so that third paragraph can probably be cut down considerably. To bulk up the intro again, I'd recommend using some info from Description and Role, like the first paragraph of Secutor-class Star Destroyer.Tommy-Macaroni 11:02, 15 August 2021 (UTC)- Done --Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:57, 19 August 2021 (UTC)
OK, sorry for the time it's taking to get back to you on these, but we should be nearly there. You currently introduce The Rebel Files twice in the History section, so you can remove the second one in Legacy. I'd recommend noting the burial of the files either in the Post-Battle of Endor or Legacy sections, so then you can dive straight into noting the excavation of it in Legacy.Tommy-Macaroni 21:09, 30 August 2021 (UTC)- No worries, done! --Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:55, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
- I still can't see any information on the burial of the files. Tommy-Macaroni 20:11, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Oop, I did several edits but history only shows one. I think I accidentally closed and exited thinking I added all the info. It's added now in the Legacy section. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- I still can't see any information on the burial of the files. Tommy-Macaroni 20:11, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- No worries, done! --Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:55, 30 August 2021 (UTC)
"The bridge was situated inside the elevated command tower at the center of the ship toward the rear, and the bridge itself was located on a near-trapezoidal structure on top of the command tower." - Please rephrase this, you say the bridge is both inside and on top of the command tower.- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
I've noticed that often in your writing you use the same word twice in the same sentence, for example "The front of the ship was defined by two prongs that defined the bow". Please avoid this as it sounds quite unprofessional, if need be just search for word synonyms to replace one with.- Thanks, that's what I usually do nowadays --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
"These weapons in the indentation of the vessel were longer than half of the ship." - This seems a little out of place since you've already discussed the physical characteristics of the weapons and are now discussing their application. Maybe move this a little earlier?- Fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
"[It] deployed its starfighters to defend its bow from critical strikes against enemy fighters." - shouldn't this read "from enemy fighters"? Strikes against enemy fighters would be strikes from the Onager itself.- Reworded --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
Ref 9 will need some expansion, mentioning the part of the Rebel Files that info is mentioned in, like here.- Looks like there's an issue with this. The section is 14 AFE through 17 AFE, which would be 5 BBY to 2 BBY. However, this section covers events all the way up to the Battle of Yavin. Looking at the date of Chron One, that also covers the same time period. I have an earlier copy, so I'm not sure if this is limited to the first printing of books that had all the errors or if this has stayed consistent. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Looking at my copy, Chrons 1 and 2 are both 14-17 AFE too. I also have an earlier copy so I'd recommend asking around to see if anyone with later prints has it different. If not, then you'll still have to change that date note to explain where you got 14 AFE and 19 AFE from. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, I'll go to the local bookstore soon and see if they have the updates Rebel Files, if not I'll go ahead and make a new ref note.
- Any update on this? Tommy-Macaroni 21:07, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
- Had zero luck on the bookstores, so I added a ref note instead. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:35, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
- Any update on this? Tommy-Macaroni 21:07, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, I'll go to the local bookstore soon and see if they have the updates Rebel Files, if not I'll go ahead and make a new ref note.
- Looking at my copy, Chrons 1 and 2 are both 14-17 AFE too. I also have an earlier copy so I'd recommend asking around to see if anyone with later prints has it different. If not, then you'll still have to change that date note to explain where you got 14 AFE and 19 AFE from. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- Looks like there's an issue with this. The section is 14 AFE through 17 AFE, which would be 5 BBY to 2 BBY. However, this section covers events all the way up to the Battle of Yavin. Looking at the date of Chron One, that also covers the same time period. I have an earlier copy, so I'm not sure if this is limited to the first printing of books that had all the errors or if this has stayed consistent. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
"as they both could cut through almost any material while fitting comfortably within a satchel" - this obviously isn't true for the Onager, is this some sarcastic comment from the Rebel Files? If so I'd recommend removing it.- It was a comparison made by someone in the Rebel Files, so yeah I'll remove it --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
I don't think ref 12 is necessary, you should just be able to source BFII and anything the Onager is pictured in directly.- I'm not clear on which ref this is exactly. Is it 12 or do you mean 11? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry, forgot I removed a ref in my copy-edit. I mean the current ref 11. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- Removed and fixed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:21, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry, forgot I removed a ref in my copy-edit. I mean the current ref 11. Tommy-Macaroni 08:27, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- I'm not clear on which ref this is exactly. Is it 12 or do you mean 11? --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
"The Siege Breaker was officially designated as the Onager-class Star Destroyer and was deployed by the Imperial Navy on various sensitive operations." - is this bit necessary? You've already mentioned the class' name many times, even in this section, as well as its role.- Removed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
"An Onager-class once fired its Superheavy Composite Beam Turbolasers, while another shot its Orbital Bombardment Particle Cannons." - I also think this is far too unspecific for the history section; by describing these weapons earlier you've basically told the reader that they've been fired at least once.Tommy-Macaroni 20:11, 8 September 2021 (UTC)- Removed --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:42, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 10:36, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
- In reference to the Sunder image linked above, the card was recently released in Upgrade Card Collection in a larger size, meaning you can acquire a higher quality shot for the article. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:22, 12 December 2020 (UTC)
- I'll add it when I'm able to have access to that card --Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:10, 21 December 2020 (UTC)
- I am taking a temporary personal leave from the site for the sake of my personal health and happiness, and I expect to return anywhere from one week to several weeks. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 14:42, 28 March 2021 (UTC)
- I have returned :P --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:50, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry if this is in the wrong spot (I'm not objecting to this article), but I think some info can be added to the BTS regarding how the Onager-class takes its name from the Latin/English word "onager" (the species of horse), as well as the Roman siege weapon with the same name (because this Star Destroyer has a siege weapon on it). Thanks. Loqiical (talk) 00:05, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks, Loqiical! This type of information is not added to the articles, as far as I understand, however. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:18, 22 July 2021 (UTC)
- Since it was recently added to the Secutor article, I don't think it's unreasonable to do the same here. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:33, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
- Although it's unorthodox and something that we don't include, I'll go ahead and add it since it doesn't hurt to include it --Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:26, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
- Since it was recently added to the Secutor article, I don't think it's unreasonable to do the same here. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:33, 23 July 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks, Loqiical! This type of information is not added to the articles, as far as I understand, however. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:18, 22 July 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Vitus Infinitus|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
S-R6
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 12:57, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: While writing the Trevura article, this guy just grew on me.
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- A very interesting read OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 21:36, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 16:52, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Cool stuff. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:51, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 07:01, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:16, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:17, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
OOM
Could use some variation with the word "eventually"- Should be better now.
I'm assuming that the source doesn't say Essar escaped from Trevura, only that he escaped, so I think it's best that the article specifies that Essar escaped from his hideout. Otherwise, readers might think the intent was that Essar left the planet.OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 08:13, 3 April 2021 (UTC)- Sure, added. Imperators II(Talk) 09:00, 3 April 2021 (UTC)
Fan
ASP-series labor droid is a canon link.Fan26 (Talk) 15:17, 19 April 2021 (UTC)- Fixed, thanks. Imperators II(Talk) 16:51, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Just one—"the streets of Trevura's city Voma" implies to me that Voma was the only city, which is unlikely.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:08, 30 April 2021 (UTC)- Granted, I'm not a native speaker, but that's certainly not how it sounds to me. Does "the Star Wars film A New Hope" make it sound to you like it's the only Star Wars film? Does "The H. G. Wells novel The War of the Worlds" make it sound to you like it's his only novel? Imperators II(Talk) 08:24, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- I think those two are different examples--for one, I already know Star Wars to be a series of multiple films. When you use "the" for the second example, I know you're referring to a specific novel, but "Trevura's city Voma" does not use "the" when referring to the city, which implies to me that there isn't a need to be specific, as that's the only one. Hopefully that makes sense. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:46, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- I suppose it doesn't, really, but I've opted to just reword the thing instead of trying to argue it further. Imperators II(Talk) 15:12, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:14, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- I suppose it doesn't, really, but I've opted to just reword the thing instead of trying to argue it further. Imperators II(Talk) 15:12, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- I think those two are different examples--for one, I already know Star Wars to be a series of multiple films. When you use "the" for the second example, I know you're referring to a specific novel, but "Trevura's city Voma" does not use "the" when referring to the city, which implies to me that there isn't a need to be specific, as that's the only one. Hopefully that makes sense. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:46, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
- Granted, I'm not a native speaker, but that's certainly not how it sounds to me. Does "the Star Wars film A New Hope" make it sound to you like it's the only Star Wars film? Does "The H. G. Wells novel The War of the Worlds" make it sound to you like it's his only novel? Imperators II(Talk) 08:24, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
The inhibitor incident sounds notable enough for an article, especially since it's named.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:59, 16 July 2021 (UTC)- Already exists. Imperators II(Talk) 10:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Oops, wasn't careful enough in my link hovering. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:51, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Already exists. Imperators II(Talk) 10:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
SE
It says S-R6 escaped with the rifles, did the rebels give them to him or did he steal them?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:05, 11 October 2021 (UTC)- The source doesn't specify that (since it kind of depends on how well does Essar's bargaining with the PCs over the guns go), only that he does it if able to. Imperators II(Talk) 04:19, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:17, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Alaris Prime colonial war
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:31, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: After seven years I return to the FAN page.
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Superb work. OtterSurf (talk) 10:16, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Very nice job. DwartiiDelver (talk) 22:58, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
- Great work, this was very ambitious. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:26, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
- Only took me eight years to get around to it :P Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:23, 8 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nice job with this campaign. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:06, 3 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work! ~ D MCCG (chat) 17:56, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 09:38, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Object
Fan
The Thalmussen should be contexualized as a transport."[Attichitcuk] established a small camp north of the landing site, leaving behind markers so that his fellow Wookiees could find him easily" I would say "...the other Wookiees" works better. Less wordy is always a good choice."Shortly afterwards a Trade Federation B1 battle droid named OOL-2 discovered the remains of the power core destroyed by Chewbacca and Shoran and reported its destruction to the Trade Federation Viceroy Nute Gunray, attributing the destruction to the gundarks." "the destruction" -> "it". Again, less wordy is probably better."With a force of eleven Wookiees, including Chewbacca,[7] the Wookiees marched towards Attichitcuk's position," I reccomend switching to "A force of eleven Wookiees, including Chewbacca, marched..."Fan26 (Talk) 17:16, 19 April 2021 (UTC)- All addressed. Thank you. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:17, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Ref four needs to be fully linked.- Done.
Can you please explain why the war starts with the Attack on Attichitcuk's camp? The switch from the prelude to the war is not entirely clear.- Because the conflict has three factions and that attack is the earliest battle between any of them.
It seems that Death/Legends can be linked earlier than it currently is in body.- That spot?
- Eh, eradicate makes more sense, actually. Not sure what I was thinking of.
- That spot?
"which was granted and subsequently constructed in Chewbacca's camp" implies that the permission was constructed.- Moved the construction part to the next sentence.
"...Wookiees' final assault on the Trade Federation's main base, which was known as the Battle for Alaris Prime" -- I see what you're trying to say here, but it almost seems like the base was known as the Battle for Alaris Prime.- Well the icon for the level is just the TF fortress, so you may have blown this thing wide open. I think that's clearer
"Jinn landed on Alaris Prime" -- wait, he wasn't on the moon the entire time?- So he gives instructions remotely the entire time, which I mentioned in the first landings section and I thought that was enough. However, I've changed it to the say he arrived at the base because his transmissions to the Jedi Council at the start of the campaign are made from Alaris Prime, so he was probably either in orbit or another location until the last battle. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:16, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
- Ah I missed that bit in the prelude. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:21, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
- So he gives instructions remotely the entire time, which I mentioned in the first landings section and I thought that was enough. However, I've changed it to the say he arrived at the base because his transmissions to the Jedi Council at the start of the campaign are made from Alaris Prime, so he was probably either in orbit or another location until the last battle. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:16, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
Take a look at this copy-edit for a few places that needed and didn't need commas. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:21, 10 June 2021 (UTC)- Thanks for all those, had been a while since I've looked at this. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:16, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Second intro paragraph can use a break.Duplicate refs in first paragraph of "Chewbacca's leadership."Dangling participle: "Shoran then spotted a strike force of beetle droids and Battle Droid Beta Versions commanded by LUH-989 heading for Chewbacca's camp, which he warned Jinn about."This is a bit of a run-on, please split: "Further battles with the Trade Federation still occurred into the Clone Wars,[9] where the Trade Federation joined the Confederacy, which attacked Wookiee settlements on Alaris Prime and later enslaved most of the colonists there, although they were freed in the battle on Alaris."Just to be sure, have you investigated everything here?UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:55, 17 July 2021 (UTC)- I've got these done, but I'm just waiting for another user to check a last source. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:08, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- Got the last one, nothing new to add. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:57, 3 August 2021 (UTC)
- I've got these done, but I'm just waiting for another user to check a last source. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:08, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
Imp
If what's currently in the Galactic Battlegrounds article is correct, the game begins with either this conflict (39 BBY-36 BBY) or the Battle of Naboo (32 BBY), depending on one's definition of a "tutorial campaign" with respect to the "prologue" concept used in the Layout Guide. Per the linked section of the LG, GB should accordingly be sorted under Appearances by 39 BBY or 32 BBY, and Darth Plagueis, the first part of which begins in 67 BBY, should be sorted by that date in turn.Imperators II(Talk) 14:41, 25 August 2021 (UTC)- The earliest portion of the game is actually the first three levels of the Gungan campaign, set in 3000 BBY, and it falls under the large time frame stipulation of the LG. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:52, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
- Fair enough; at first I didn't realize that the 32 BBY portions of Battlefront II used as an example in the policy may not necessarily be the first portion of the game despite being chronologically earliest. Imperators II(Talk) 16:30, 5 September 2021 (UTC)
- The earliest portion of the game is actually the first three levels of the Gungan campaign, set in 3000 BBY, and it falls under the large time frame stipulation of the LG. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:52, 26 August 2021 (UTC)
You've got consecutive identical refs in the first paragraph of "Chewbacca's leadership".Imperators II(Talk) 16:30, 5 September 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:56, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
Under "The Trade Federation attacks", you say "The Trade Federation had also decided to eradicate the gundarks", but the previous section, "The gundark threat", already establishes that "Gunray ordered OOL-2 to locate the gundarks, eradicate them, and deliver their pelts to the Trandoshans", so the former reads rather redundant given the existence of the latter.- Fixed Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:45, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
"sentinel strike mechs" — I, for one, have no clue what a "strike mech" is, so... should all three words just be pipelinked to Sentinel (Wookiees)? And should that article reflect the "strike mech" terminology as well, and should it possibly have an article of its own? Also, the capitalization of "sentinel" doesn't match between this article and that one - can you confirm that lowercase is correct?- RPG mechanics time, so strike mechs are a type of unit created at mech factories and each civilization has a unique one, other units considered strike mechs include gian speeders and STAPs. For now I've removed the strike mech description here on the basis that I wouldn't do it if it was one of those other previously established vehicles. An article for it might be veering too far into game mechanic territory for the Wook. Regarding capitalization, GB capitalizes every unit name so I'm not 100% on whether that should be done on the Wook too, but for now I've added the caps here.
- The same issue remains with the word "mech", I'm not seeing either an article on Wikipedia or an appropriate entry in an English dictionary, so I've no idea as a reader what the term means.
- RPG mechanics time, so strike mechs are a type of unit created at mech factories and each civilization has a unique one, other units considered strike mechs include gian speeders and STAPs. For now I've removed the strike mech description here on the basis that I wouldn't do it if it was one of those other previously established vehicles. An article for it might be veering too far into game mechanic territory for the Wook. Regarding capitalization, GB capitalizes every unit name so I'm not 100% on whether that should be done on the Wook too, but for now I've added the caps here.
From what I can see, the fact that it was specifically Gunray who dispatched the Droid Army to Alaris Prime, and secretly at that, is intro-exclusive.Imperators II(Talk) 21:17, 17 September 2021 (UTC)- I've removed that part, turns out there's nothing in the game that attributes it to Gunray alone. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:45, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- The intro-exclusivity of the Trade Federation's actions being secret remains. If they're not specified as being secret in the body, it could just as easily be interpreted that the Federation just openly showed a middle finger to the Senate. Imperators II(Talk) 09:11, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- I've removed that part, turns out there's nothing in the game that attributes it to Gunray alone. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:45, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:59, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Larry
- Nominated by: Cwedin(talk) 21:25, 13 April 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Larry, from the planet Brooklyn.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:EWOKS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- "I once knew a man with three eyes, purple fur, clinical depression, and a nose like Wario." "Ooh, what did you call him?" "…Larry." Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:50, 16 April 2021 (UTC)
- You forgot to mention his flashlight in the equipment section. :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:04, 20 April 2021 (UTC)
- AmazinglyCool (talk) 16:08, 21 April 2021 (UTC)
- Short for Larry, apparently OtterSurf (talk) 10:23, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 13:47, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:55, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 22:19, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
Can the timeline reference really be used to source all of the first half of the first paragraph?- Good catch, fixed.
I think the physical description in the P&T should elaborate on the position of his eyes, how two were in his face while one was in an upper stalk.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:59, 14 April 2021 (UTC)The distinct colour on his arms and foot could be mentioned as well, is there anything to indicate that they are hairy too?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:17, 15 April 2021 (UTC)I know I've voted support but I just noticed that Larry's tribe should be linked in affiliations.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:57, 23 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Can you mention his gender in the intro?- Done.
Do you think it's worth mentioning the blanket in the equipment section?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:48, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:19, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cwedin|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Ginivex-class fanblade starfighter
- Nominated by: DwartiiDelver (talk) 18:36, 18 April 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Always loved this ship. Also, my first FAN!
- WookieeProject (optional): The Clone Wars
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:33, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
- SecretSpyer (talk) 04:02, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
- Excellent work. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:40, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
- I know I called the below objections prelims, but I can't find anything else. Nice work. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:19, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! LucaRoR (Talk) 19:22, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 19:56, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 21:37, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Preliminaries:
History could benefit from subsectioning.- Would you have any recommendations on how best to subsection it? I'm not entirely sure, considering practically all of it is about the Battle of Sullust. Perhaps section the final paragraph separately since that is after the battle rather than during it?
1250 vs. 1,250 inconsistency.- Changed to just 1,250
It seems a bit odd that you say only six starfighters. Why would she need more than one?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:34, 27 April 2021 (UTC)- That's just what the source states. That detail is originally from Legends (in some stories Ventress would lose one of her fanblades and then still have another one later on). DwartiiDelver (talk) 00:42, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
First sentence should be broken in two.- Broken
Color can just be pipelinked the first time a color is mentioned, using the word itself is unnecessary in that sentence.- Done
The image in Characteristics should be bigger, I can't tell what's in it without magnifying it.- Better?
Sith needs to be linked in the body.- Linked
Since you mention in characteristics that force users could do flips and shit you should mention later that Ventress was a force user.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:11, 9 May 2021 (UTC)- Added DwartiiDelver (talk) 01:06, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Should Ventress' fighter get its own article?- I'm inclined to say no. The fanblade fighter Ventress flies at Sullust remains the only one we've seen in canon, and there does not appear to be anything distinct about that one in particular (for instance, that specific fanblade is not given its own name, and there is no mention of it being modified in any way).
Ref 16 should use {{TCWCite}}.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:01, 30 June 2021 (UTC)- Added.
Per Layout Guide, a "Role" section is in order. I can see that its designation as a "starfighter" is suitable for that section.- Added a Role section.
"Ventress betrayed" can benefit an image. The images can also be enlarged.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:06, 30 June 2021 (UTC)- Added another image and enlarged them all. DwartiiDelver (talk) 02:41, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
Imp
Does the source used in the infobox use the abbreviation "feet, ... in"? I'd have expected to see "ft" there instead of "feet" if "in" is used.- My mistake, "ft" is indeed used in the source.
Could you work in a mention of the solar sail into the infobox?- I'd certainly like to, although I'm not positive which field it could fit under. Maybe "avionics"? Or just "other systems"?
- Yeah, just do "other systems". Imperators II(Talk) 07:45, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- Added. DwartiiDelver (talk) 15:26, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, just do "other systems". Imperators II(Talk) 07:45, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'd certainly like to, although I'm not positive which field it could fit under. Maybe "avionics"? Or just "other systems"?
Please avoid the dangling participle here - "After damaging Kenobi's craft with her fanblade fighter's lower laser cannon, the two Jedi split up, leaving Skywalker to contend with the droid starfighters while Ventress gave chase to Kenobi."- I believe that's taken care of it now.
Could you add just a bit of context for who Ahsoka Tano was?- Added.
How would you feel about splitting the BTS into two smaller subsections? I feel like it currently lends itself quite well to splitting evenly along the middle - you could name the first subsection "Portrayal" and the second one "Naming and contradictions" or something to that effect.Imperators II(Talk) 18:14, 2 October 2021 (UTC)- Good thought! Subsectioned the bts and, at least for now, used the names you suggested. DwartiiDelver (talk) 00:21, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 21:37, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:DwartiiDelver|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Battle for Alaris Prime
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:56, 7 May 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I can't tell if this campaign is meant to have a pro or anti-colonialism stance.
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Good work, almost done with this whole colonial war. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:43, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
- Might need to call in the Colonial Marines for this one. OtterSurf (talk) 10:18, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nice job. DwartiiDelver (talk) 14:35, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:22, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 04:27, 12 September 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 10:41, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 07:13, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
Object
Battle of Macaroni
I hate to break it to you, but it seems that the full release dates for GB and the Prima guide are needed since they came out on different days of the same year, per WP:LG#Publication dates.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:02, 18 June 2021 (UTC)- Got a whole new citation template for it (and many thanks to the users who fixed it when I didn't know what I was doing). I'll get some feedback on the date referencing first before implementing it in every article I've ever written. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 19:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
- Fair enough. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:43, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
- Got a whole new citation template for it (and many thanks to the users who fixed it when I didn't know what I was doing). I'll get some feedback on the date referencing first before implementing it in every article I've ever written. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 19:04, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
Dwartii
At least some of the images could be slightly enlarged, particularly the one under "Trade Federation offensives" and the bts image.Does GB have subtitles for Qui-Gon's (and other characters') lines, or is it just audio? If the latter, "defences" in the Prelude quote should be spelled "defenses," though if there are subtitles and that's how they spell it the quote can remain as is.Incomplete sentence in the bts: "In it, the player controls the Wookiees and must destroy the Trade Federation fortress to achieve victory, using their.""The Trade Federation forces may create additional forces" From the bts. Since "forces" is used again just a few words later, could the first part of the sentence just say "The Trade Federation" and omit the "forces" from that? Or would that somehow change the meaning (with regard to the gameplay).DwartiiDelver (talk) 19:20, 3 July 2021 (UTC)- All adressed. The game does have captions but I just got it wrong there. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:15, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
"The first strike of the battle was made when a force of battle droids, including five beetle droids and a droideka attacked. They were sent by the droid commander SRAM-13 to attack the Wookiee sentry posts that were built to warn them of the Trade Federation's movements." This sentence reads a little weird to me. I would start by saying they were sent by SRAM followed by their attack on a Wookiee sentry post.UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:54, 13 July 2021 (UTC)- Done. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:04, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
Down the RTS rabbit-hole again
Please specify to whom is QGJ speaking in the Prelude, The Battle, and Aftermath quotes.Imperators II(Talk) 08:02, 4 October 2021 (UTC)- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 23:12, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
"Jedi concentration" should definitely link to some article.Imperators II(Talk) 11:33, 16 October 2021 (UTC)- Created
"Audio from Jinn in the game files suggests that the player would originally have access to Jedi in the battle, but the player would be unable to create any more unlike in a standard game format. Jinn states that Jedi law prevents too many Jedi from being assigned on a single mission to justify the restriction." — could you clarify this bit? Does Jinn's dialogue imply that at some point in the game's development the player had access to more Jedi during this tutorial battle?- Yes that's what I mean, how's that
Any chance it's possible to clarify in in-universe terms what does "convert enemy buildings to the Wookiee side" mean?- I've had a go, it's pretty hard to explain without being a blatant RTS mechanic
"The Wookiees built additional military buildings in their base, including factories to build mechs and heavy weapons" — can you reword this so that the word root "build" isn't used three times in the same sentence?- Done
There's also some repetition in the intro: two uses of "target-" in the third sentence and two consecutive instances of "build up" in second and third sentence of the intro's second paragraph.- Done
Wow, so Jinn was initially advising the Wookies from off-world? That's certainly intro-exclusive.Imperators II(Talk) 12:45, 22 October 2021 (UTC)- Reworded cause the game doesn't quite specify whether he was in orbit or on Alaris Prime the whole time. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:56, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 07:13, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Unidentified Trade Federation base
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:00, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Screw it, I will max out all my possible nominations until I get too busy for editing regularly
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Good job! ~ D MCCG (chat) 23:33, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
- Reviewed on Discord. Note that I have given Code until 2030 to finish Operation Galactic Battlegrounds. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:32, 10 May 2021 (UTC)
- DwartiiDelver (talk) 22:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
- Well done.--Liverpool92 15:30, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
- The T-Feds were gonna call it Buttercup Acres, but Qui-Gon leveled it before they could erect the sign. OtterSurf (talk) 10:25, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:17, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 22:32, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 14:30, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Dwartii
In the final paragraph of the History section, there are two back-to-back sentences that begin with "With". I think it'd be preferable to try and change one of these so it's not quite as repetitive.DwartiiDelver (talk) 03:33, 14 May 2021 (UTC)- Of course. Done. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:20, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
BTS can use a paragraph break for sure.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:34, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:14, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
Imp
Similarly to the Battle for Alaris Prime article, the quote captions should specify who is QGJ talking to.Imperators II(Talk) 09:43, 25 October 2021 (UTC)- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:50, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Is the base actually ever explicitly identified as a settlement? I feel like a settlement and a military base should not be treated as equivalent by default.- It is not, but the definition of a settlement according to Google is "a place, typically one which has previously been uninhabited, where people establish a community." Mileage may vary on whether droids can constitute a community but I think this location still fits that description, especially given that the base also has farms.
- Okay, the farms bit does convince me.
- It is not, but the definition of a settlement according to Google is "a place, typically one which has previously been uninhabited, where people establish a community." Mileage may vary on whether droids can constitute a community but I think this location still fits that description, especially given that the base also has farms.
I believe that the fact that the Wookiees secured control over Alaris Prime and that the Battle for Alaris Prime was the final battle of the conflict are both intro-exclusive; in the body you only note the Wookiees' intention to prevail in the conflict and them being victorious in the battle.- Done
Seems like something is missing after "Trade Federation": "the Wookiees constructed a base near the Trade Federation and orchestrated"- Fixed
"grass-covered" makes it sound like the base was completely overgrown with grass, can you rephrase this? Perhaps say that the base was constructed in a cleared patch of grassland or something like that?- Done
"The southern face of the wall had a gate from which a path led south to the river and was accessible by a ford." — I'm not entirely sure what "was accessible by a ford" refers to here? The path, or the gate? Maybe you can reword this to clarify?- Done
Could you perhaps try and restructure the Description so that each paragraph more or less talks about some specific aspect of the base? I could see having paragraphs on the topographical description, natural resources, and the buildings and infrastructure, for example. As it is right now, the paragraphs kind of mix what they're talking about, with a somewhat awkward paragraph break in between several sentences on natural resources.- Best I could come up with was to reorder it to have a paragraph on military buildings and another on resources and storage centers
I'd like to see some context for mynocks. Definitely the part about them being parasites that posed a threat technological structures, and possibly the fact that they were mostly unable to survive outside of the vacuum of space, with the exception of some variants.- Their threat to technology has no consequence in the game, they're only present as a food source, so I don't see how mentioning it is relevant. Added the variant bit
- You don't really have to look at it from the OOU perspective of what's important to the gameplay. The CSWE entry says mynocks fed on both energy and silica and other minerals, and The New Essential Guide to Alien Species says this about planetary variants of mynocks: "These creatures pose a particular problem for inhabited systems, as not just ships but also buildings, structures, livestock, and even humanoids sleeping outdoors are at risk." and even this for mynocks in general: "regardless of the variety, mynocks can pose a hazard regardless of their environment". Based on this, I think mynocks could definitely pose a potential problem to this base—which as far as we know was even staffed by droids—and that you should therefore note it in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:35, 13 December 2021 (UTC)
- You don't really have to look at it from the OOU perspective of what's important to the gameplay. The CSWE entry says mynocks fed on both energy and silica and other minerals, and The New Essential Guide to Alien Species says this about planetary variants of mynocks: "These creatures pose a particular problem for inhabited systems, as not just ships but also buildings, structures, livestock, and even humanoids sleeping outdoors are at risk." and even this for mynocks in general: "regardless of the variety, mynocks can pose a hazard regardless of their environment". Based on this, I think mynocks could definitely pose a potential problem to this base—which as far as we know was even staffed by droids—and that you should therefore note it in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Their threat to technology has no consequence in the game, they're only present as a food source, so I don't see how mentioning it is relevant. Added the variant bit
A couple of instances of redundant-sounding wording: "The Wookiees established a settlement to the south of the Trade Federation settlement", "With their path clear, the ground forces, including bowcaster troopers and sentinel strike mechs, marched into the base to clear it out."- Done
Just to confirm: does Pekt really swear that he *can* profit? Or that he *will* profit?- The latter, updated.
Also, the article text is currently assuming that the reader is necessarily familiar with the context of Trandoshans pelting Wookiees for specific cultural reasons, which is not all a reasonable assumption, in my opinion.- The cultural elements aren't quite relevant, Pekt's just out to make a buck, I added a bit more in his first mention so the pelt thing doesn't come out of left field so much
Ugh, could you please clarify the base's topography to me? Which side is northward in the infobox image? Right now, from comparing the text in the Description section and the image it seems like the cardinal directions are inverted relative to the real-world system, i.e., it seems like "south" is positive 90 degrees away from "west".- It's straight cardinal directions, I've adjusted the wording in a couple of spots that may have been confusing
Similarly, how many gates exactly does the base have? One, two? Is the "entrance" described in Description also a gate? And how many fords there? Right now, the sentence "The entrance could be accessed by a ford on the southern stretch of the river." makes it ambiguous as to whether there's one ford or two.Imperators II(Talk) 18:37, 13 November 2021 (UTC)- That other entrance is just a gap and there's just two fords, that rewording hopefully sorts it. I've ended up subsectioning the description section so I'll work on another quote and image when I'm less sleepy Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:34, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- Added an image but can't find another relevant quote. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:34, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- That other entrance is just a gap and there's just two fords, that rewording hopefully sorts it. I've ended up subsectioning the description section so I'll work on another quote and image when I'm less sleepy Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:34, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Just a note on the history quote, I can't find that exact audio file that matches what appears in the level, there's one that matches the quote almost entirely with the small difference of calling the fortress a "government center." If anyone else with the game can find the proper one in case it's just my version being weird, that would be great. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:22, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:30, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Graak (lawbreaker)
- Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:25, 25 May 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: My first FAN! Might I ask the Inquisitorius to learn from Graak's tale and strive to be teh compassion, and not teh evil. :P
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:EWOKS
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Reviewed via discord, very nice work. Congratulations on the first FA nom! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:41, 30 May 2021 (UTC)
- Well done.Liverpool92 15:55, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
- Headcanon: Simon cut his eye out. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:40, 1 June 2021 (UTC)
- Graak could've fought off the Sanyassans single-handedly. DwartiiDelver (talk) 16:04, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Agreed on both counts :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:14, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:09, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- It's almost as if they wanted to make him Graak :P OOM 224 08:28, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 22:44, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:27, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
Wicket learning about Graak should be mentioned prior to their encounter, ideally at the end of the first section.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:03, 31 May 2021 (UTC)- Good idea. Added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:14, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
- It should still be stated after Graak's banishment is written about, given that Wicket knows that part too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:51, 1 June 2021 (UTC)
- Good idea. Added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:14, 31 May 2021 (UTC)
His belt can be mentioned in the Equipment section.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:51, 1 June 2021 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
Per Wookieepedia:Images#Cropping, speech bubbles that are cut off should have the text in them removed.1358 (Talk) 12:56, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
OOM
A little bit of explanation for Joddar turning against Graak would be helpful in the intro's last paragraph. I'd say there's no need to go into what happened between him and Wicket and Teebo though. Mentioning he learnt compassion from them is sufficient.- How's that?
"calling it "survival of the fittest."" — not needed in the Biography; instead, this would make good P&T material.- Fixed.
"Teebo slipped, hanging on only by a small plant. As the warriors prepared to attack Teebo with their spears" — this part isn't really relevant to Graak.OOM 224 16:01, 17 September 2021 (UTC)- Should be fixed. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:50, 17 September 2021 (UTC)
Lastly, there are quite a few instances of "after" in the article, so it could do with a bit of variationOOM 224 17:32, 18 September 2021 (UTC)- Changed a few. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:09, 19 September 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Can you clarify where Warrick is in the image under "Capturing the Ewoks"?There is space for another image under "The Ewok hunt."UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:30, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Big thanks to Amino for providing me with digital images. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:25, 25 May 2021 (UTC)
- And now to Dentface for even higher quality ones :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:00, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
- I will be away for the next two weeks and therefore not he able to address objections; feel free to list them, but I'm asking the Inquisitorious not to take down this nom. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:51, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:27, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:JediMasterMacaroni|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Atrisian Commonwealth
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 08:55, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:16, 3 June 2021 (UTC)
- Love me some Atlas-based lore. Fan26 (Talk) 18:50, 9 June 2021 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:10, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:05, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 07:26, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:54, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 17:39, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
Object
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:39, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Battle of Columus
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 12:03, 4 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Love me some ancient Jedi wars. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:44, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:34, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:39, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:08, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 07:59, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 03:25, 27 October 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 11:36, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
Context for Corulag.- I think adding the fact that Corulag was a Core Worlds planet right in the next sentence after it is stated that the Jedi pursued the Legions of Lettow to the Core Worlds would be super redundant.
- As someone not familiar with that geography, I was reading it as the Corulag event was a separate thing from the war reaching the Core Worlds. Could adding something like "There, on Corulag" make it clearer? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Sure, added.
- As someone not familiar with that geography, I was reading it as the Corulag event was a separate thing from the war reaching the Core Worlds. Could adding something like "There, on Corulag" make it clearer? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- I think adding the fact that Corulag was a Core Worlds planet right in the next sentence after it is stated that the Jedi pursued the Legions of Lettow to the Core Worlds would be super redundant.
The sentence it's in runs on too, and it should be explicit that Corulag is in the Core Worlds- Split up the sentence.
The fact that they fought with lightsabers deserves a mention.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)- They didn't—canonically lightsabers weren't invented for another ten thousand years—and I'm assuming that it's merely visual effects due to crystal-colored (canonical fact) Force-imbued blades being swinged around. Imperators II(Talk) 09:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- My bad, I had skimmed over the part where you mentioned those. However, at the moment it only specifies that Pina had that weapon. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Why, do you think that all battles should detail all the weapons wielded by their participants?
- Why wouldn't we? It's relevant information, especially in this case where a reader could make a similar assumption about the weapons based on the image as I did. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- I've added it here due to the potential for confusion. But if you imagine some of the larger battles, such as Hoth or Endor, you'll see why it's an absurd principle to try and apply generally. Imperators II(Talk) 16:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah fair enough, I was using the mindset I write my own battle articles with, where there's only been five at most. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:44, 7 June 2021 (UTC)
- I've added it here due to the potential for confusion. But if you imagine some of the larger battles, such as Hoth or Endor, you'll see why it's an absurd principle to try and apply generally. Imperators II(Talk) 16:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Why wouldn't we? It's relevant information, especially in this case where a reader could make a similar assumption about the weapons based on the image as I did. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Why, do you think that all battles should detail all the weapons wielded by their participants?
- My bad, I had skimmed over the part where you mentioned those. However, at the moment it only specifies that Pina had that weapon. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- They didn't—canonically lightsabers weren't invented for another ten thousand years—and I'm assuming that it's merely visual effects due to crystal-colored (canonical fact) Force-imbued blades being swinged around. Imperators II(Talk) 09:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
Why's the BTS image not on the left?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:21, 6 June 2021 (UTC)- Because lone images in BTS almost never look good left-aligned, and this is no exception. The spirit of the Layout Guide rule you're implicitly referring to is that on long articles images should not all be aligned along one side. You will notice that at least on recent quality articles BTS images are consistently right-aligned. Imperators II(Talk) 15:36, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Not totally sure that I get it but turns out the LG is pretty soft in regards to image alignment, so I'll strike. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- The bottom line is that it never looks good to have a left-aligned image at the very start of the BTS. Imperators II(Talk) 16:43, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Not totally sure that I get it but turns out the LG is pretty soft in regards to image alignment, so I'll strike. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 16:33, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
- Because lone images in BTS almost never look good left-aligned, and this is no exception. The spirit of the Layout Guide rule you're implicitly referring to is that on long articles images should not all be aligned along one side. You will notice that at least on recent quality articles BTS images are consistently right-aligned. Imperators II(Talk) 15:36, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 11:36, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
- To anyone who may end up archiving this, it's a part of the Expansionist Era (25,053 BBY-20,000 BBY). Imperators II(Talk) 12:03, 4 June 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Fideltin Rusk
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 03:54, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Nice to have you back, Cade. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:42, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
- Great job. OtterSurf (talk) 11:28, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
- Return of the compansion FAs. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
- Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:38, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:59, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:39, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:59, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
Current standards favour much shorter subsections due to the death of Monobook, which you can see throughout other current noms or recent FAs.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 04:16, 7 June 2021 (UTC)- Per discussion on Discord the recommendations were that sectioning should follow natural divisions of content, so I guess the ones in the biography section are okay. I was going to suggest subsectioning the Bts but I can't find a break that wouldn't only leave one paragraph behind. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
If commander is not given as his actual rank those links should pipelink to Commanding officer/Legends instead.- Done.
Time on Hoth: May be my weary eyes but I can't tell which decade is being referred to in the first sentence- Updated the Mindor/end of war stuff in the paragraph above, and the paragraph below, to include dates.
Neither of his parents are currently linked.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)The exact date behind the year isn't necessary per the Layout Guide.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:58, 14 June 2021 (UTC)I think describing the info given from the encyclopedia in the Bts is unnecessary.I'll have to check some youtube videos later, are there notable differences in how Rusk interacts with the player in Fallen Empire if they're continuing playing as the Jedi Master as opposed to other classes?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:46, 22 June 2021 (UTC)- Nothing too special. Doesn't talk much about the time jump. Cade Calrayn 14:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
- "Stars, it's good to see your face. Sorry about the undignified welcome. They don't make leashes tight enough for this lot."
- "I'm glad to see you too. It seems like you've climbed the ranks since I've been gone."
- "There are very few people who would choose this command, but I'm honored to shoulder the burden for the good of the Republic."
- Nothing too special. Doesn't talk much about the time jump. Cade Calrayn 14:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
Watching some videos and it seems that the Commander gets a tip off to find Rusk from Bey'wan Aygo and chews out a soldier named Merghal, which can be added to the bio, and the mission the player can undertake for Rusk should go in the bts too.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:50, 25 June 2021 (UTC)- Added mention of the dialogue, but the mission's already mentioned in the BTS, unless you're referring to something else. Cade Calrayn 15:29, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
- By mission I meant what the player has to do on Nar Shaddaa to recruit Rusk. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:27, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
- Added mention of the dialogue, but the mission's already mentioned in the BTS, unless you're referring to something else. Cade Calrayn 15:29, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
Vergence
"None" shouldn't be listed as a hair color.- Done.
The page is currently in the error category Category:TOR dates usages without act argument.VergenceScatter (talk) 04:46, 12 June 2021 (UTC)I think that Cross of Glory could use a bit of context.Where was Rusk first identified as Fideltin? The article says that TOR simply calls him "Sergeant Rusk."VergenceScatter (talk) 03:23, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Straight off the bat, I want to see more sectioning employed in the article. I'm also noticing empty space that can use more images (which btw look pretty small to me currently). Since this is a video game subject, I hope images won't be an issue. More to come after this is done.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:15, 25 October 2021 (UTC)- sectioned; working on images and quotes. Cade Calrayn 17:48, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Aaand done. 16:15, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
- Anything for the BTS? It's currently six completely unsectioned paragraphs. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:27, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
- Broke it into two, though they're uneven, but that's the only organic way to split the content. Cade Calrayn 23:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
- Final thing: Is there a suitable image for that last section (e.g. if Rusk in a different outfit)? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:10, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added one from the Holonet. May change it later from one on a later playthrough. Cade Calrayn 04:00, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- The caption should always be more than just "This is the character." UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:48, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Have you decided on what to use? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:51, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
- The caption should always be more than just "This is the character." UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:48, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added one from the Holonet. May change it later from one on a later playthrough. Cade Calrayn 04:00, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Final thing: Is there a suitable image for that last section (e.g. if Rusk in a different outfit)? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:10, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Broke it into two, though they're uneven, but that's the only organic way to split the content. Cade Calrayn 23:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
- Anything for the BTS? It's currently six completely unsectioned paragraphs. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:27, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
Do we really need the parentheses next to infobox affiliations? Generally, the specific affiliation is listed regardless of the duration and circumstances.I really think the intro's third paragraph can be split up; it currently takes up half the screen on my end.I advise caution againt using such words so as not to conflict with a neutral point of view, even if they may be supported by the cited sources: "However, they fought valiantly against overwhelming odds and escaped successfully with the prisoners".Having gone through "Early career," I can see a clean split between the four paragraphs, since the latter half discusses his service and reputation. Another quote can be added if available.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:56, 9 January 2022 (UTC)I want to confirm that the context for the locations is supported by those cited sources i.e. planet Hoth.UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:56, 23 January 2022 (UTC)Issue with "A new assignment"'s third paragraph: Much of it is not written from Rusk's perspective, when it should be as he is the subject of the article. For example, this has nothing to do with Rusk specifically "Carsen had resisted the Emperor's control thanks to her experience as his servant before, and she was more than ready to escape with her Master." I'm also seeing this issue from that point in the article forward e.g. "the Hero and crew" should ideally be something like "Rusk and his allies."- Rewritten that paragraph, and switched up some of the wording elsewhere.
Tol Braga should be introduced as Kel Dor on his first mention if you intend to refer to him by his species throughout the article.- Removed.
Some of the quote attributions need elaboration, especially when the quote has other people involved e.g. the one under "A new assignment."- Done.
Context for Nar Shaddaa.- Done.
Would like "Personality and traits"'s second paragraph broken up, it takes up more than half the screen for me in the un-expanded view.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:27, 5 February 2022 (UTC)- Done.
"Skills and abilities" section is definitely warranted, after seeing descriptions such as "a determined and skilled commander with years of experience" and "mindset of statistical efficiency."UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:30, 5 February 2022 (UTC)I don't believe it's necessary to document the traits of a species on the pages for every single member of the species, so I think the info cited to Ultimate Alien Anthology needs to go.Please remove the reference to the CT, as this is not a practice that is employed anymore; the assumption by the article can stand on its own. There is also unsourced information in that paragraph; the bit regarding Rusk's companion status.UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:48, 20 February 2022 (UTC)- "Working with the Jedi" and "Personality and traits" have the same quote.
After going through the quotes again, "Working with the Jedi," "Confronting the Maw," and "Equipment"'s quotes involve other people, so the attributions should make it clear who they are as well.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)- Both done. Cade Calrayn 22:46, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- No edits were made. UberSoldat93 (talk) 03:15, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
- Both done. Cade Calrayn 22:46, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
- (Review note): I went ahead and increased the image sizes even more. From one old Wook soul to another, it took a while for the large image size trend to grow on me, and I thought it looked gaudy for years, so I'm sure it'll be the same for you. haha
- (Review note): "Among" is preferred over "amongst" in American English.
For ref 11, are we really assuming as the last sentence states? Seems like we have a lot of reasoning to say it definitely does take place in that timeframe.MasterFred(talk) 00:07, 14 November 2021 (UTC)- We have a definitive date for the fall of the Treaty (middle of 3641) but most of the Act II class content takes place before the Treaty collapse, and there are unclear time jumps between Acts 2-3. Not like anyone's ever gonna tell us otherwise, but that's why TORdates is written that way. Cade Calrayn 20:15, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Something seems to be wrong with ref 36.MasterFred(talk) 06:53, 22 November 2021 (UTC)One last thing: the parentheses in the fourth paragraph of the Bts can be removed and the text worked into the prose.MasterFred(talk) 10:01, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
SE
"While Rusk was acquitted each time and given a medal" did he get a medal after each acquittal, or just a single medal overall?- As far as I remember, it's that he got a medal each time.
"and she wanted to set a trap for him at the site of the shuttle." What shuttle? I'm presuming the one mentioned earlier in the article?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:34, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Their mission completed, the six were awarded the prestigious medal" — this is the only instance where the Hero's number of companions is given, so readers unfamiliar with the game might not know what you're referring to here"Although the threat of the Emperor was ended, the galaxy was still consumed in war, so the Hero and crew continued to travel from planet to planet aboard their ship, aiding those in need." A more specific citation should be used for this lineOOM 224 19:08, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- Note to self: Continue from "Time on Hoth." UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:57, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
- "A new assignment" UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:57, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
- Personality and traits. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:27, 5 February 2022 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:00, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Dromund Kaas operation
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:08, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Resubmitting this one; it was removed by Tope because of my absence and some unconfirmed changes (which I've since reviewed and am fine with)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:02, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:07, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
- A very absorbing read, and well-done! Minnabird (talk) 03:15, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:22, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
- I read this yesterday and forgot to support, really great stuff. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:13, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 03:38, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 03:26, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 14:54, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
CC-8 operation
The intro says that the galaxy at large believed the Emperor's death, but later on says that it was secret for two years.- Clarified.
The prelude and galaxy at large could use an image, and the operation could do with subsectioning- Images added, but there's really no place to subsection, as I'd have to put it in the middle of the GameLS section - which needs to be grouped because it's all about the same part of the event - or at the start of it, and that leaves a 2-paragraph part preceding it.
Is Scourge's vision of the Hero standing over the Emperor not technically an appearance for this event?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:49, 22 June 2021 (UTC)Is it clear why the Hero couldn't be controlled by the Emperor?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 12:33, 7 July 2021 (UTC)I think a line about where the Emperor hibernated after the operation would be relevant, and would a description of his ultimate fate be taking it too far?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:21, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Infobox:
Can you specify the actual source with the holomessage in Ref 2?- Done.
The infobox has the only dual reference in the article. Is it necessary to have two sources cited there?- Fixed.
In "Casualties," can you be more specific than just "Moderate" or "Heavy"? What kind of losses did both sides endure?- It's unclear, as the player only sees a small part of the fight. We don't get any info on the space battle beyond the general "taken losses" and that the Imperial forces on the ground encountered by the Hero's crew are defeated.
Main body:
Second intro paragraph can definitely use a break.Images can be enlarged."With that discovery, the seeds of rebellion were sown." Without context, this has a very unencyclopedic tone.- Clarified.
BTS:
Per Layout Guide, more precise release dates for Revan (also missing author) and the TOR game are needed.- Revan, yes, but I was under the impression that "2011" was sufficient for TOR.
- They're needed because both sources came out in the same year, as stated in the section linked above. Also, can Revan's full date be sourced to the novel? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- All of these are done. Cade Calrayn 23:09, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- Sourcing not fixed. UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:39, 9 August 2021 (UTC)
- All of these are done. Cade Calrayn 23:09, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- They're needed because both sources came out in the same year, as stated in the section linked above. Also, can Revan's full date be sourced to the novel? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- Revan, yes, but I was under the impression that "2011" was sufficient for TOR.
Some of the BTS's first paragraph feels unnecessary since you've already detailed what happened after the operation in the Aftermath section.- Trimmed.
Per ample precedent, assumptions by the article should not be relegated to reference notes and instead should be detailed in the BTS itself.- Done.
Add Revan and Annihilation audiobooks to Appearances.- Done.
Reviewing note: Please see this Manual of Style clause: "But do not link individual words within proper compound nouns (examples: Death Star, Azure Dianoga Cantina, Galactic Empire, Bantha-class assault shuttle)".UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:32, 10 July 2021 (UTC)- Are there any left, or did you remove them all? This was written a while ago but I'll keep that in mind. Cade Calrayn 15:53, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- I removed them wherever I saw them, but it would be good to go over it again just in case. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- Are there any left, or did you remove them all? This was written a while ago but I'll keep that in mind. Cade Calrayn 15:53, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
Are there any ships that can be clearly seen in the battle? They can be documented under "Strength" in the infobox, and in the body.I'd like to see some sectioning done to Prelude. I can see a split between the stuff the Emperor did and the Galactic War breaking out. I also want to see some more context for that section's image caption. There is also space for another image and another quote after sectioning."The operation" desperately needs some sectioning, a split between the planning phase and paragraphs covered by GameLS will suffice.First image's caption in "Aftermath" can benefit from more elaboration.1stID missing from Appearances, since the BTS makes it clear the name does not come from Revan.UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:10, 22 August 2021 (UTC)One last thing, can you add an image to the BTS? Either the cover of Revan or TOR will do.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:28, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
Minnabird
Should 3640 BBY be linked in the body, even if on "around a year later"? Right now it's linked only in infobox, intro, and references.Do we know why Scourge betrayed the Emperor? Is it just that it was fate? What does he tell the player character?"he detected that one of the Hero's companions was about to be overwhelmed by Imperial Guard reinforcements nearby" Do we know how he detected it? were there like, cameras? If he just said "they're about to be overwhelmed!" and we don't know how he knows it's fine as-is."He scoffed at the Hero's claim that they would open his eyes to the way of the Jedi by taking him to Tython, arguing that, by doing so, the Hero clung to Tol Braga's old ambitions, ignoring their true desires." Not 100% clear what's happening here. What are Tol Braga's old ambitions/how are they relevant or how would the player character react to them? Whose true desires? I also don't think "by doing so" really connects well to the thing it's supposed to describe; the phrase suggests it's referring back to a verb, which I think is supposed to be "claim," but that's used as a noun in the sentence? If that makes any sense at all. Basically: didn't revise this sentence because I'm not 100% sure how to do so.Do we know who Admiral Dabrin is? He turns up for the award ceremony seemingly without context. Minnabird (talk) 02:48, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
OOM
I've just started Chapter 3 for the Jedi Knight storyline, so I'll skip reviewing the parts on the operation itself for now.- Firstly (I don't know the exact details of the mission yet), I'm not sure if the article needs to provide so much context about Vitiate's rise to power—in particular, the whole of the first two paragraphs seem to be irrelevant. For example, in Race against doomsday, "as he had Nathema" is a nice way to link back to the ritual, but it can just be removed along with the first two paragraphs.
- "rendering him immortal and granting him immense strength in the Force" — I'd say it's better to swap these around since immortality is a part of increased power.
- I've noticed some missing links (e.g. Living Force/Legends, Sith Emperor, Millennium/Legends) in the two paragraphs, so you might want to look over the article again and add links where appropiate.
- Since the fates of Revan and Scourge are mentioned, you may as well say that the Exile was killed.
- You can mention how the Jedi came to know that the Emperor was planning a ritual to consume the whole galaxy in Race against doomsday.
- All of the above are done.
- BTS: I don't see the significance of mentioning Chancellor Saresh's announcement in the first paragraph.
- It's a major plot point of the post-game, that the Empire and the Republic don't know of the Emperor's defeat. It's why they're in confusion at Ilum, and why Malgus breaks from the Empire, and it's kept as a secret (but rumored) until Makeb.
- "fighting the Emperor in the Dark Temple in its summary of the Jedi Knight class storyline" — You can cut down on the detail here. At this point, reader only needs to know that the Dromund Kaas operation is depicted in the book. OOM 224 18:48, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Actually, I think that last paragraph should be removed entirely. Sample player characters are now frequently used on swtor.com and their social media posts, and since the fact that images of sample player characters are non-canonical doesn't have anything to do with the Dromund Kaas operation itself, the information here can just be moved to the Hero of Tython article, à la The Barsen'thor#Character identity and customization. OOM 224 10:58, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Removed.
Per this and now this, you can make the wording here less awkward by using gender-neutral pronouns for the player character.OOM 224 10:58, 6 November 2021 (UTC)- Review note: made some changes to one of the references OOM 224 21:44, 19 January 2022 (UTC)
Does the game ever capitalise "Temple" on its own? There's an inconsistency regarding the capitalisation in the intro.- I've lowercased Temple to be safe.
Context needed for Belsavis, Voss, and Corellia in the body. A separate ref might be needed if Doomsday doesn't refer to them as worlds or planets. Same for Kaas City as the Imperial capital.- Done. Kaas City is indeed referred to as the capital.
Given the quoted commands, do we know what happened to Manaan and Ord Mantell? Context is needed there as well.- No, there's no followup on those quotes, and I'd disagree on the need for context as they're explicit quotes and I shouldn't modify them, and I don't need to follow them with "Manaan and Ord Mantell were planets"
- Readers won't know the significance of those commands if they don't know that they were planets, so context is necessary. To avoid awkward language, you can say something to the effect of "In his pain and anger, the Emperor gave crazed and conflicting commands to his children regarding the treatment of entire planets." OOM 224 19:22, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- No, there's no followup on those quotes, and I'd disagree on the need for context as they're explicit quotes and I shouldn't modify them, and I don't need to follow them with "Manaan and Ord Mantell were planets"
"When one of their number, Dread Master Styrak, was slain on the planet Darvannis, the remaining five sank into insanity and decided to destroy the galaxy; they were ultimately defeated at the moon of Oricon." — this part isn't really relevant. Mentioning that the Dread Masters were defeated is enough. A timeframe for their rise and fall would be helpful though.- I would argue that it is relevant, as it's a galactic threat specifically instigated by the fall of the Emperor. As for timeframe, it occurs immediately after the Makeb invasion, that's why I placed it there.
Do we know whether Vaylin was the Emperor's only biological daughter?OOM 224 12:56, 27 February 2022 (UTC)I think it would be better to move the part about the Emperor's final death (3626 BBY) to after the very last sentence about Vaylin.OOM 224 19:22, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
Imp
It's a bit awkward that {{TOR dates/4}}, which also dates the somewhat-unconnected Battle of Ilum, is only used for dating the 3640 BBY date for "Doomsday". Can you instead replace that with a manual ref note that 1) only uses one of the two sources mentioned in that template, 2) explicitly mentions the Dromund Kaas operation and/or the "Doomsday" mission, and 3) does not mention the Battle of Ilum?Imperators II(Talk) 13:36, 9 January 2022 (UTC)- Ilum is directly connected, as the operation is the inciting factor for Malgus's betrayal at Ilum. I've added more detail to the ref note; the Encyclopedia specifically puts Ilum in 3640 and that's why it's needed to be mentioned. Cade Calrayn 18:26, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
- In the new date reference, you should note per which source does Ilum follow Dromund Kaas. And while you're at it, you should also be consistent in referencing between the infobox and the article body: I see no reason why the fact that Dromund Kaas was followed by Ilum is sourced to a TOR mission in the infobox but to Annihilation in the text. Imperators II(Talk) 07:48, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
- Ilum is directly connected, as the operation is the inciting factor for Malgus's betrayal at Ilum. I've added more detail to the ref note; the Encyclopedia specifically puts Ilum in 3640 and that's why it's needed to be mentioned. Cade Calrayn 18:26, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:54, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Sajar
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:32, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Another former Featured Article; ecks's objections from the review have been satisfied.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:31, 13 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 11:35, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:53, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
- DwartiiDelver (talk) 20:14, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 23:22, 22 December 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:11, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:47, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
You're in Category:TOR dates usages without act argument, whatever that means.- Done.
Can 3653 BBY actually be sourced to ref 1?- Resourced.
Could use an equipment section to discuss his lightsaber and clothing, which is currently being done in skills and abilities.- Ehhhh.... done, but frankly it looks rather terrible separate from the P&T.
Spaces should be replaced by underscores in filenames (e.g. [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]] instead of [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).- Done.
The first P+T paragraph can probably be split into two, it's quite large.- Done.
Some context for Nar Shaddaa in the Bts would be nice.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:46, 10 June 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Could use an image in the second bio section.I think we should avoid using the word "this" outside of the Bts.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:43, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
Imp
Since Blood of the Empire Act 3 doesn't feature Sajar, ref 4 should specify what exactly establishes that he was a Dark Councilor following the comic's events.- Hmmm, actually, there's no good way to word it, so I've removed it entirely - basically, we know that he served on the Council sometime *after* 3678 BBY, because the Children were first created then, but honestly that's not enough to necessitate a mention, as he could've served any time in the next 25 years before the war ended.
Is there any way to further split up the "Incident on Quesh" section? As it is right now, with the right rail module enabled it takes up an entire one-and-a-half screen on my machine.Imperators II(Talk) 11:26, 15 November 2021 (UTC)- Ehhh... I could put one before the gamemechanics but that looks.... rough to me and rather short. Cade Calrayn 20:13, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Trust me, in this age of internet reading and short attention spans, it's better to have a passage slightly on the short side than one that stretches for more than an entire screen. Imperators II(Talk) 20:15, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Ehhh... I could put one before the gamemechanics but that looks.... rough to me and rather short. Cade Calrayn 20:13, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Is there any appropriate image for the "Wrath and forgiveness" section?- Nothing on hand, and that's a little too close to the big Sajar image in P&T for my comfort. Cade Calrayn 16:40, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
- I see. Conversely, note also that the "Equipment" section is borderline too short to support the image of the lightsaber, which you don't really describe in that much detail in the article anyway—might consider cutting the image. Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
- Nothing on hand, and that's a little too close to the big Sajar image in P&T for my comfort. Cade Calrayn 16:40, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
You've got two consecutive identical refs in the second paragraph of "Early life". Imperators II(Talk) 09:48, 4 December 2021 (UTC)The last thing from me, I believe: "Gundo's scouts captured several Imperial scouts" — can you reword this to avoid the somewhat-awkward repetition? And also, it's not immediately clear whether the "scouts" here refers to Gundo's scouts or the Imperial ones: "but the scouts angered the Padawan".Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
I think the birth refs in the infobox should be combined into a note so that the reader knows why that specific year is mentioned.For some of those quotes, is Sajar speaking to anyone? The attribution would benefit from that information.- Imp has informed me that there's not really a precedent for doing this all the time, so striking this one. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:31, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
Currently there's no context for Quesh.- I know you won't like this, but does the ref support Quesh being a planet? UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:48, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
- Confirmed with OOM. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:46, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
- I know you won't like this, but does the ref support Quesh being a planet? UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:48, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
In the Adrenal Research Base image caption, can you add a bit more so that it's connected to Sajar?Is the Eighty-sixth Infantry also referred to as the "86th"? Numbers shouldn't be used if not used by any source.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:13, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
In the second paragraph of the intro, you have two sentences that start with "However." Could you vary the wording a bit?MasterFred(talk) 07:38, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:47, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Attack on Fondor
- Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:52, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First time doing a battle longer than CA length. I decided not to include info from "Destroyer Down" as the battle in that story is pretty much unrelated to this one.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AMB, WP:SWBF, WP:VG
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:48, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nicely done. DwartiiDelver (talk) 15:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- Great work, in my opinion! LucaRoR (talk) 17:19, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:31, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 21:16, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 12:14, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:20, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Average Battlefront enjoyer
Does the game say the Corvus is a Raider II specifically? Otherwise you should source that to the databank.Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:41, 5 June 2021 (UTC)- Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:50, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Perhaps some context for Sentinel?I think you can add a {{Mediacat}}, no?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 13 June 2021 (UTC)- Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:06, 13 June 2021 (UTC)
Regular FA consumer
I don't think the outcome field in the infobox should be written in present tense, unless that's a precedent I've never noticed.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:23, 27 July 2021 (UTC)- There certainly is. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:27, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
Ratts
"…at Fondor Station within the Fondor Shipyards over the world Fondor…" can you reword or rearrange this? It's a bit repetitive.There's little mention of the dialogue between Iden and Raythe during the mission. While not all of it is relevant, they do discuss tactics that affect how the battle plays out, so I think that should be touched upon."As the battle progressed, Versio destroyed multiple fighters tailing Hask's TIE fighter." That's not necessarily true, since two of the fighters are scripted to crash during the chase scene, regardless if Iden shoots them or not. The player is only required to destroy one ship during this objective, being the A-wing.In the last paragraph of "Imperial victory," you should clarify that Iden destroys both the control tower and the docking arm, an order she initially objects to.RattsT (talk) 01:49, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Inferno Squad fought through rebel forces and fled the moon in TIE fighters" — I don't see how this is relevant to the article.- Not sure how else to explain Inferno Squad leaving the moon and splitting up. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:47, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
Similarly, I think you can cut down on the details about Meeko's mission to Pillio. The mission doesn't really tie in to what the Empire achieved at Fondor other than the fact that it's a part of Operation: Cinder that came right after the battle for Inferno Squad.OOM 224 12:38, 24 October 2021 (UTC)- Removed the outcome. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:47, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
Would it not be worth including Ralsius Paldora's mention of the attack in the article body?OOM 224 18:33, 26 October 2021 (UTC)- Sure. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:56, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Added info from "Destroyer Down" per discussion with other editors. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:28, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
- So, I'm not going to make this an objection, since I'm unsure of it, but I feel like the destroyer down section could start with "The Galactic Civil War returned to Fondor shipyards around 5 ABY when..." I feel like including that could explain to readers why its being recounted, since that's why we on the discord agreed it should be mentioned. Maybe this is just me so I'm framing this as a comment, not an objection, if anyone wants to weigh in feel free Editoronthewiki (talk) 19:13, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Updated with info from Emperor Palpatine. UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:31, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:48, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:UberSoldat93|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Revan
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: hehehehehehehehe. Hi there. Did ya miss me?
- Date Archived: 18:09, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 43415 words (881 introduction, 39956 body, 2578 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 43190 words (880 introduction, 39888 body, 2422 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR, WP:KOTOR
(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- D MCCG (chat) 03:06, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:03, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- It'd be great for Legends Revan to return to FA status. —Tomotron (Star Forge) 06:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
- The man, the myth, the legend... Supreme Emperor Holocomm 18:02, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
-A Girl Has No Name 21:21, 15 December 2021 (UTC)(Vote struck per policy: General rules, item 3 -- DarthRuiz30 (talk) 22:01, 15 December 2021 (UTC))Editoronthewiki (talk) 05:21, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
- I need to do a more in depth review of this article, I'm sorry to alter my vote a year later Editoronthewiki (talk) 02:51, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
Please, bring Revan back. NhanTNTAlt (talk) 09:43, 31 October 2022 (UTC)(Vote struck per policy: General rules, item 3 -- Imperators II(Talk) 11:04, 21 November 2022 (UTC))
- AwesomeMutation (talk) 17:52, 21 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
Tomotron
Revan Mythologies, Czerka representative, Wookiee warrior and receptionist are redlinks.—Tomotron (Star Forge) 14:48, 12 June 2021 (UTC)Please check that all appearances and sources linked to a BBY date use the system, otherwise the dates will need a note.—Tomotron (Star Forge) 14:48, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
Vergence
Ahto City cantina is also a redlink.VergenceScatter (talk) 04:52, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
Braha'tok/Legends
Up to Rise of the Sith
"According to Mical, Revan returned to his first teacher in order to learn how to best leave the Jedi Order, though he did not follow through." You're trying to keep a trend of saying Revan is not named Revan yet, but this seems to be an anomaly.- Fixed.
"Outraged at the Jedi Council's refusal to involve the Order in the conflict, the young Jedi Knight began to move among the Order," What do you mean by "move among the order"?- Reworded.
Second and forth paragraphs of The Revanchist are too bloated. As is the forth paragraph of Fighting the Mandalorians and the final paragraph of Dark Lord of the Sith. Bisecting them accordingly is advised.- Done.
- You didn't do the final one I mentioned :P Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Blah I was asleep. lol.
- You didn't do the final one I mentioned :P Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Done.
"Alec and his followers" is used multiple times, but that format makes it sound like they could be Alec's followers.- Reworded.
"Shortly after the Adasca affair, the Taris Siege, and the bombardment of Jebble," the last two events are just passingly mentioned with no context and don't seem relevant to the narrative at all. I'd say it's better to not mention them at all.- Done.
"Anointing his new servants as Darth Revan and Darth Malak, the Dark Lords of the Sith, the Emperor sent them back to the Republic as a vanguard to his own invasion, ordering them to make use of the Rakatan Star Forge and to report back when they had crushed the Republic's resistance." The reintroduction of the Star Forge makes it look like the Sith suddenly had it, and then we find out that Revan is locating it after he searched a lil bit. I'd try and say from the start that Revan and Malak needed to locate and obtain the Star Forge.- Changed to "find and make use of"
"the two were taken captive by the native Black Rakata." The Black Rakata's article introduces them as a tribe, but the Revan article introduces them as if they're a species. Please revise.- added "tribe"
"When the Republic officer Saul Karath defected to Revan's forces, Revan eventually promoted Karath to commander of the entire Sith fleet. However, Malak ordered the Admiral to bombard the surface of the planet Telos IV with his flagship Leviathan," Is Karath the admiral? If so you should probably specify their (new?) rank in the first sentence.Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)You refer to the "Emperor" when Revan and Malak encounter the guy but I'm assuming that's Vitiate? If so, I think it would be better to keep using Vitiate's name rather than just the Emperor.- At this point in time, the Emperor was literally *only* known as the Emperor; he discarded his older names after leaving Nathema and didn't readopt others until the events of TOR.
You ok with these changes?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)"Revan quickly won a string of military victories, proving himself to a capable military leader," Proving himself to whom?"While Revan was a military genius who knew that the Republic's industrial might was the key to victory, […] "Moral shortcuts" became common under Revan and Malak's leadership, and the two Jedi developed a cold and calculating disposition unlike that of a Jedi; they matched the Mandalorians' brutal tactics with tactics just as merciless." If this is someone's point of view, that should be specified, because this feels to me like it flouts WP:NPOV a bit.- Cited - it comes from a lot of sources, like Warfare, but specifically the OOU Atlas and NEC.
You should specify that Foerost is a planet (or whatever the source says it is if the Foerost article is wrong).Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 12:37, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
Soldier of the Republic
"He also encountered a number of the building's inhabitants, such as the former waitress Dia,[39] who told Revan about how she was hiding out to avoid a bounty set by a man named Holdan after she rejected his advances." Advances being like an attempt at romance? Does the source clarify this?- Sexual/romantic, yes; that's what the phrase "rejected his advances" means.
"Taking their journals, Revan then discovered a sealed door that Vao unlocked with her security spikes. Upon finding Zaalbar within," Found him within what? What was the door to?- Zaalbar was behind the door. Clarified.
The article reads "While exploring the sewers, " and then "Before they headed down into the sewers," when I'm pretty sure they're still in the sewer. Do you mean like "Before they continued exploring the sewers" or am I missing something?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)"Since Revan's defeat, Malak had declared himself the new Dark Lord, taken control of the Sith Empire, and kept the Republic on the defensive." I'm assuming this is about the war in the last section, but it'd be good to clarify so to remind the reader of what already exists.- The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
- Done.
- The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
"However, they were barred from entering the Lower City…" This situation is sorta thrown in out of nowhere. You should Introduce the fact that they were trying to reach the Lower City because Shan's pod might be there, and then mention the Sith troopers barring their entry."but the two stayed where they were and decided to intervene when the commander threatened to kill the Aqualish if he failed to cooperate. After the three Sith were killed," I'd clarify that Revan and Onasi killed them by tweaking that last clause there."Revan purchased a pazaak deck from a man named Garouk and used it to defeat a player named Niklos." I feel that context is insufficient here. My recommendation is that the last bit is worded to say he played and defeated Niklos, the unofficial pazaak champion of Taris, at a pazaak game using the purchased card deck or something along those lines.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:59, 10 July 2021 (UTC)I am once again asking you to verify this copy-edit.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
Sectioning
You good with these changes?And these?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Investigate/add audiobooks to app section.- Still missing one. Make sure that they follow WP:LG#Audiobooks as well. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:39, 17 June 2021 (UTC)
Non-canon appearances get their own subsection per LG.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:00, 16 June 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Arden Kae.- Done.
The Revanchist section could use another image- There aren't really any images of him from that period in time; I've shifted some images around and changed their size.
Many sections could use more subsectioning. These include: The Revanchist, Fighting the Mandalorians, To the Lower City and beyond, The sands of Tatooine, Into the Dune Sea, Into the Shadowlands, Legacy, and others as well—I'd suggest using those as examples of ones that are too long.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:05, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Is there any new information in this source?UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2021 (UTC)Is it possible to get a full headshot for the infobox instead of the current cropped one?UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:26, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
General
First order of busines, please reword any instances of "now" in in-universe text, as Star Wars took place a long time ago.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:04, 9 January 2023 (UTC)Please document the in-universe mentions in The New Essential Chronology, Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force, The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force, and The Journal of Master Gnost-Dural.- Done.
- Ensure that Gnost-Dural and Tionne Solusar have context. Also, Voren only wrote an intro to NEC, he isn't the author (see Chrellis system). UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:59, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
- Done.
Succession box date referencing needs revamping; those dates need notes like they do in the body.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Infobox
Can we at least combine the birth date and location into a single note like we do for other character articles? I realize this won't be possible for the death info due to the nature of the TOR date template.Is it necessary to have two citations for gender? The body uses a separate source anyway.Would like to see the Jedipedia citation eliminated when there is canon material depicting his brown eyes.Referencing for physical traits at the very least should be consistent between the infobox and body.Not seeing the yellow eyes mentioned anywhere in the body.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Intro
"However, Revan was betrayed by his Sith apprentice Malak..." Malak's an apprentice now? The intro doesn't establish this clearly beforehand.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:04, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:20, 31 January 2023 (UTC)
Personality and traits
Please ensure there is a section heading at the beginning.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
BTS
Would like to see a section heading at the beginning.He's voiced by Spencer Garrett in Shadow of Revan per the credits. You will need to add this to the article and fill in the redlink.UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:47, 16 May 2023 (UTC)Also of note, he has dialogue in Echoes of Vengeance, but I believe the actor is uncredited, so that should also be mentioned here.UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:35, 17 May 2023 (UTC)Is it worth mentioning that his male and female actors in KOTOR are unspecified?UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:30, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Sources
Would like to see the individual cards from 2010 Topps Star Wars Galaxy Series 5 listed here instead of a single link to the whole set.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Marvac
Please mention in your bts section that Revan, when he was Darth Revan, has appeared as a lego minifigure in set number 5002123-1. Please see link for more info (this link will take you to the Brickset website), https://brickset.com/sets/5002123-1/Darth-Revan.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:25, 2 August 2023 (UTC)- It's already listed in Sources and also has a sentence in the second paragraph of "Establishing continuity and other appearances". Cade Calrayn 14:28, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- Huh. Just found the reference to the lego minifigure. Sorry, last I checked, I couldn't find it. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:43, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- It's already listed in Sources and also has a sentence in the second paragraph of "Establishing continuity and other appearances". Cade Calrayn 14:28, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
OOM
Further subsectioning is needed in the body, especially for sections such as "The hunt for the mask," where there are dozens of paragraphs. Perhaps adding a few more images would help.- gah. blasted session expirations, I saved a reply here earlier. I've subsectioned, but quotes will take me a bit.
The portions of the BTS section before the "Countinuity issues" subsection should be subsectioned as well.- I disagree on the need, but done.
"Revan also appears in a vision to the player character, the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik, in the depths of Korriban's tombs." — I don't see the significance of this explained in the BTS.I don't think there's any need to mention the Revan novel in the BTS either.OOM 224 23:50, 12 March 2022 (UTC)- Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- I suppose that's fair, to mention that the character is the protagonist of the novel. I was more so concerned with whether this sentence is really necessary: "[the novel] explains what happened to Revan and the Exile after the events of the two games." On its own, the sentence doesn't really tell the reader much about the character himself. Perhaps the sentence should point out that Revan is the protagonist of the novel before adding what the novel is about? OOM 224 17:54, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
The images from "Warrior and Sith" on should be enlarged.MasterFred(talk) 00:36, 21 March 2022 (UTC)It gets confusing referring to him as "the future Revan" at the start of the bio. Should probably use different wording.MasterFred(talk) (he/him) 05:10, 4 April 2022 (UTC)In "Massacre on Cathar," does Knights of the Old Republic 42 actual confirm the Mandalorian as female, or does it just use she/her pronouns?Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 07:47, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Thrawn
Document in-universe mention in Book of Sith. -ThrawnChiss7 Assembly Cupola 14:49, 13 January 2023 (UTC)And in Industry, Honor, Savagery: Shaping the Mandalorian Soul. -ThrawnChiss7 Assembly Cupola 23:17, 13 January 2023 (UTC)
Lew
- I just want to confirm that any pronouns being used on the page are citable to the sources they are currently being cited to? Lewisr (talk) 16:26, 7 October 2023 (UTC)
- Drove by and saw this, I can confirm that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:34, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- I should also specify this refers to the first usage of pronouns regarding all characters and not just Revan himself. Looking through the history I didn't see an instance where cites for first pronouns usage was added since the new precedent change. Given the size of the page, it is impossible that not a single cite was needed to be added. I also know this to not be possible because I found an example in the very first paragraph of the biography. The page cites Kreia's pronounds to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, a game which she is not mentioned in or appears in, so it certainly should not be cited as a source for her pronouns Lewisr (talk) 06:47, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- Drove by and saw this, I can confirm that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:34, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
Fan
- ("Freedom and fall") "The Cold War that followed began to collapse around 3642 BBY" I think this ought to be reworded to make it clear the Cold War was ending because the peace was collapsing; a Cold War 'collapsing' could just as easily mean a full detente a la the nineties IRL and not necessarily a resumption of hostilities. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
- ("Freedom and fall")"exterminating everyone with Sith ancestry." given that Sith of course refers to both the species and the order, this should make it clear that it's the species being referred to here. It's ofc implicit but given that confusion is inherently possible given the term's double meaning it should be clarified.
- ("Thwarting resurrection") Context for Kira Carsen and the Alliance Commander. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- Note to self, left off at Mandalorian Wars. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 15:27, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- Fighting the Mandalorians Supreme Emperor Holocomm 15:52, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- Inquisitors: see Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Revan/Legends/Inq. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:39, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Continue from Biography. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:05, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
- The Mandalorian Wars. UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:58, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- Per rule 6 of remaining stable during the review process, there is the upcoming KOTOR remake. Furthermore, there have been 8 sources added in the last year, 12 added in total since the nomination started. There are also 3 unaddressed objections from Fan from November 4th, as well as a stalled objection originally dated October 7th that hasn't been worked on since November 30th. Lewisr (talk) 18:05, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 18:06, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- Unstable, and remake is still listed on official sites.—spookywillowwtalk 18:07, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Seftin Vanik
- Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:18, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Thanks to Ayrehead for spotting another appearance of Vanik in the film, bringing this article above 1000 words.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS
(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 23:39, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Fun fact: The SW sequels and Game of Thrones had the same casting director, so there's a ton of actors who've been in both. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:58, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
- Carrying vote over after inspecting the recent update. MasterFred(talk) 03:15, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
- Also carrying vote over from the GAN. Good work. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:44, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
- Editoronthewiki (talk) 04:49, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 19:42, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 21:39, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
At a glance I'm sure the intro could be longer than 104 words.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:29, 29 June 2021 (UTC)- Added a bit more, but I'm pretty sure saying "this guy was standing in this spot and over there" in the intro isn't really beneficial to readers. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:45, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 21:39, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:UberSoldat93|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Aron Peacebringer
- Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:10, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Was killed a couple years ago for an update tag that actually had zero new information. Injustice!
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:COMICS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:48, 4 August 2021 (UTC)
- Still a better love story than Twilight... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 04:44, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:32, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 03:08, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Manoof anything is a better love story than Twilight :P VergenceScatter (talk) 07:23, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Great work, but please make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR (Talk) 08:33, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 09:55, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
All of the image sizes can be increased.Ref 4 needs {{Cite web}}.Please kill that relationships section. Feel free to incorporate it into P+T if you'd like.Release date (full) needed for Star Wars 53.3 ABY isn't sourced correctly.First paragraph of "Capture" can be split up.Trust me, more to come seeing as you weren't the original writer :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:19, 16 July 2021 (UTC)I don't think 2 ABY is sourced correctly either.The bio only mentions that he was born in the Shiva system and neglects to mention Shiva IV as the intro/infobox do.Intro should mention his species.All physical traits listed in the infobox are not mentioned in the body.Is there any reason he's referred to as Aron and not Peacebringer?"must be highly radioactive" is not exactly using past tense and can be reworded.Is an article needed for these T'Syriél stormtroopers? And what about his daughter that died?A bit more context for each of the Rebel reinforcements would be appreciated.Can you add a section header for the non-relationships bit of the P+T?Missing {{Mediacat}}.- (Review note) There was some significant underlinking in the article, if you're planning on restoring any more old FAs you'll want to check that before nominating. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:45, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
I don't think Leia should really get a relationships subsection—he was attracted to her but didn't really have a huge relationship with her.Missing skills and abilities section.Missing equipment section.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:22, 22 July 2021 (UTC)- These should be addressed.
Does the comics companion use ABY or ASW4? If the latter, you need to explain how that corresponds to ABY, such as how it's done here.Are any of the double refs really necessary?A little context for the Falcon, please.Lastly, the full date for the comic isn't self-sourcing; it needs a new ref.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:18, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Please digitize the comic book images.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:51, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- Should be done. IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:43, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- Infobox image should be at least 400px per Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:20, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'll be straight up with you: I don't know how to go in and resize it like that. Never been an image guy, to my shame. Any suggestions? IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:00, 25 October 2021 (UTC)
- No need to resize, try getting a larger crop from the same source. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:50, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- So that picture of Aron is from one where he's in the background, and I wasn't really able to get a larger crop. I just swapped it out with another picture, let me know what you think. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:02, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- That works. UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:37, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- So that picture of Aron is from one where he's in the background, and I wasn't really able to get a larger crop. I just swapped it out with another picture, let me know what you think. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:02, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- No need to resize, try getting a larger crop from the same source. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:50, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'll be straight up with you: I don't know how to go in and resize it like that. Never been an image guy, to my shame. Any suggestions? IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:00, 25 October 2021 (UTC)
- Infobox image should be at least 400px per Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:20, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- Should be done. IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:43, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm seeing space for more images, namely under "Encounter with an offworlder," "Capture," "Personality and traits," and "Skills and abilities." Usually 2 images are the norm for a 3-paragraph section (one at the beginning; one at the end for example), if there's enough space.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:17, 22 November 2021 (UTC)Duplicate ref in Capture's last paragraph.- Fixed.
This reads as if the assailant didn't in fact miss and landed the blow. "On reaching Organa, he found that she was safe, her assailant having nearly missed her before she turned the knife against the Imperial officer."- Changed.
Surely you can word this better to avoid the repeating the same word three times. "Peacebringer realized that Leia did not love him and never would; that realization allowed him to realize that he could live without her."- Hahahahahaha what a terrible sentence. Fixed.
Context for Lando Calrissian.- Added.
A regular Imperial Star Destroyer I'm assuming? "However, the ball was interrupted by the arrival of an Imperial Star Destroyer in orbit."- Appears to be. Want me to specify?
- Yes please, and link to that specific model (whether it's an Imperial I or II). UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- Appears to be. Want me to specify?
Inconsistent capitalization: "warlord" and "Warlord."- Made it consistent.
Equipment is the first time you mention a "saber," when only "sword" is used before this.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:44, 29 November 2021 (UTC)- Fixed.
I personally don't like how the intro begins. Usually in formal writing, we don't need to point out a character's biggest achievement right at the start e.g. "Darth Vader was the most feared Sith Lord in the galaxy" or "Luke Skywalker was the hero of the Rebellion." This is already sitewide precedent.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:47, 29 November 2021 (UTC)- Better? IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:55, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Much better. UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- Better? IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:55, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
Let's see a break in "Battling the Empire"'s second paragraph; it currently takes up more than half the screen on my monitor.UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:18, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
Manoof
Just check this update is ok, needed to understand that section a bit more so just did it. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:38, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Good to go.
Skills and abilities - can we mention his piloting skills? Great read! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:38, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
Some small context for Jain Havero upon his first mention would be nice.MasterFred(talk) 12:28, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
SE
Is there an article for the destruction of K'avor?- Linked
Is there anything specific to Calian sword combat that would make it article worthy?- Not that I can really tell, and there aren't any specific details about it anywhere that I've found.
Are any of the death cults named, or is it just a general mention of cults?- Nope, none named.
"Peacebringer signaled the Rebel princess and staged a diversion" What was the diversion?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 00:07, 6 February 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:05, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Note to self: Continue full review from "Capture." UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:18, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
- Reviewing note: Take care with missing links. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:46, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:IFYLOFD|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
S. V. Skynx
- Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Love this little weird ass alien boy
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:05, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
- Lookin' good. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:12, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- I agree with the comment above. Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:36, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:59, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
- Good work. UberSoldat93 (talk) 03:53, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 03:58, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
- Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:10, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
Object
Erebus
Currently, the first Biography paragraph is a giant run-on sentence without pauses. Please fix.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:12, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Date needs a new ref.One last audiobook is missing.Context for Obroa-skai and Rudrig?Do you think we need a page for the Human History department or Department of History?I think that explaining Gallandro's grudge would be helpful, if such details are available.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:58, 15 August 2021 (UTC)Any reason you're not mentioning the dialogue between Skynx and Solo as described in the quote of "An unexpected journey"?- Didn't seem relevant to me. All he's doing is describing the Queen of Ranroon, which is covered when I introduce the ship. Not every line of dialogue needs to be detailed in the body, necessarily.
Also not seeing anything in the body about his goodbye exchange with Solo.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:47, 19 August 2021 (UTC)If Cat Staggs is indeed the designer of the image as File:Professor Skynx.jpg suggests, it should be documented somewhere.- Done.
The bit about being a musician would be better suited for a "Skills and abilities" section.- Added.
There's room for an image in the P+T.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:17, 3 November 2021 (UTC)- What do you suggest? I usually like to use photos of the character for those, but we only have the one. IFYLOFD (Talk) 05:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Maybe one of Ruuria? In order to connect it to the P+T text, we can do something like, "Skynx was a Ruurian from the planet Ruuria (pictured)". Thoughts? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:11, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- What do you suggest? I usually like to use photos of the character for those, but we only have the one. IFYLOFD (Talk) 05:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay, last couple things: "Corellian" is infobox-exclusive.- It's not in the infobox?
- Oops, meant the intro. In any case, added the link myself.
- It's not in the infobox?
Context for Ammuud.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:39, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
You use both "simple-minded" and "mindless" to describe chroma-wing. These two terms mean different things.Can you spell out the "Celebratus Archive" instead of using a pipelink?I would rather you use an image of Han Solo that looks less "cluttered" with other things in it."Skynx's years of study made him one of the most well-known "Ximologists" in the galaxy[2] and resulted in a unique collection of artifacts..." Resulted in what? What's happening with the artifacts?- Still unclear. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
- Not sure how it's unclear? "...his collection of a unique assortment of artifacts," He collected them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Reworded slightly, I hope it's still accurate to the source material. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Not sure how it's unclear? "...his collection of a unique assortment of artifacts," He collected them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Still unclear. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
"Human History" can get an article of its own, seeing as we have articles on departments of organizations. "Emeritus Chair" can also get one."Skynx and his compatriots were subsequently rendered unconscious by a mysterious force and awoke in a prison cell, with the two droids gone." What is this "mysterious force"? It needs to be clarified, you're writing in an encyclopedic manner.Per policy, the CSWE template should not be used in Sources.UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:56, 14 September 2021 (UTC)I would like you to reword certain bits of the article that have rather florid language, such as "While Solo was disappointed at the lack of gold and gems, it was an archaeologist's dream find...." Stuff like this doesn't fit the encyclopedic tone that we're going for.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)- Listen, I understand what you're going for here, but I have to push back here. I don't think there's anything wrong with wording like that. I'm describing what it was and how it was described in the source material. We have different writing styles, but that doesn't make mine wrong, and I'm not going to rewrite the entire article because you have a different view of what an "encyclopedic" writing style is. I hate to pull this card, but I think I've been around, writing status articles, long enough to know what is and what isn't proper tone. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- I never said your writing style is flat out "wrong," just that, from my point of view, the wording doesn't satisfy a neutral point of view. If you still feel strongly about your point though, I'll drop the objection. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Listen, I understand what you're going for here, but I have to push back here. I don't think there's anything wrong with wording like that. I'm describing what it was and how it was described in the source material. We have different writing styles, but that doesn't make mine wrong, and I'm not going to rewrite the entire article because you have a different view of what an "encyclopedic" writing style is. I hate to pull this card, but I think I've been around, writing status articles, long enough to know what is and what isn't proper tone. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
Does The New Essential Chronology not support everything that The Essential Chronology does?- I'm not sure what you're asking. There's no real differences. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:50, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Then please cite the former book in place of the latter. Current precedent is to cite the latest edition of a book since it is presumably the most accessible version. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not sure what you're asking. There's no real differences. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:50, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
They are also in-universe documents to my knowledge, so the mentions of Skynx in them should be documented here.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:20, 13 March 2022 (UTC)- Mentioned. IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:13, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would like to see more elaboration, like this. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Doing some research on this, stand by. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:17, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- You're good, Voren is in fact not the author so I've removed that bit. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:26, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Doing some research on this, stand by. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:17, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would like to see more elaboration, like this. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Mentioned. IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:13, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
Manoof
The quote for subsequent career mentions z'gag, can you work that in the article somewhere? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:21, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Done.
Is it worth having an equipment section (albeit a short one) describing his collection/artefacts/datatapes etc and maybe the coat he had pictured? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:21, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 04:18, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:IFYLOFD|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2023|]]
Jai Maruk
- Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:25, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 14:13, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1950 words (290 introduction, 1457 body, 203 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1845 words (217 introduction, 1438 body, 190 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
- — Samonic 10:21, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:11, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
UberSoldat
Please address the objections left over from the first nomination.UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:56, 16 July 2021 (UTC)- Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Fred will have a look when he's free. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
- Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Since you have stated that the novel does not provide the exact date, you need to write a note for it. The dates are also currently inconsistent between the infobox and body.- Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Does it mention Phindar Spaceport? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:10, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
Also per the AC probation page, the audiobook is a simultaneous 1st appearance.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Intro mentions Jai was recuperating but no indication he had been injured. There's also no mention of this in the body until you get to the P&T, but is relevant if it affected his fighting ability and was the reason he was on Coruscant during the Apprentice Tournament. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Can probably fit another two images in the P&T and P&A/BTS respectively. Potentially one of the clone wars and one of Dooku/Telekinesis/Assassin Droids but ultimately up to you. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)- Added two more photos.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Mission to Vjun - Just with the hard-sound guns, do they require two operators and is sonic projectors a synonym for the weapon? This sentence "Leem managed to battle through the pain in her head and destroy one of the two sonic projectors, which allowed Maruk to concentrate and demolish one of the droids bearing the second hard-sound gun." may need rephrasing to make this clearer. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)"As his hatred of her slowly fueled his attacks, Maruk fell into a black fury half blinded with hate as he drove her back with his flurry." Can this be rephrased to remove the double use of hate/hatred? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Intro mentions that Leem made a silent plea, but body does not make this distinction? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)In P&T, would you be willing to swap the third paragraph (mention of his childhood/teenage years) with the second paragraph (mention of his Clone Wars temperament)? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Can you mention the Publisher for the game in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)BTS indicates his forces were also brought to Vjun by Ventress in the encyclopaedia. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Just check you're ok with this edit. I fixed some linking issues, but I'd like you to go through and double check your linking, I left at least one canon link and Jedi apprentice linking to the book series but also make sure you're linking as early as you can, whenever you can. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)- Thanks. Will do a double check soon and leave another comment. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
- Edit looks fine. I just did another look and added another link.ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
- Please go through the entire article and double check your links are correct. I got to the second paragraph and found Jedi Apprentice, an OOU novel series as well as two canon links to Jedi Knight and Padawan Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:50, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
Ecks
I'd say the introduction length is a bit excessive compared to the size of the body; two paragraphs should suffice. See if you can cut down on some unnecessary detail and context (you don't need to give context to Clone Wars etc in the intro really).Please check your image caption and quote attribution punctuation. The former should have a period when full sentences are used whereas the latter should never have a period.1358 (Talk) 21:26, 25 April 2022 (UTC)- Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
- Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences need a full stop, but not otherwise. 1358 (Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
- Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
How the heck does one pronounce Vjun
Just confirming this: does the source actually say he was taken to the temple in his early years, or is that an assumption you're making?- Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
- Yeah, I don't think that's an assumption we need to be making. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:14, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
- Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
Can you add a date for the start of the Clone Wars? "Broke out" should also link to that first battle."Head of State" is intro-exclusive.Checked CSWE myself: 1) does the novel really say nothing of their wager? 2) are you sure that the third paragraph of Mission to Vjun is meant to be sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?Images should not be above quotes.Please remove any contraction(s). (eg "couldn't" --> "could not")JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)Can you show me where either the novel or the CSWE says that Maruk was surprised that Yoda made the wager with him? I'm not seeing it anywhere.Can you explain why the paragraph in Accepting a Padawan is sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:54, 8 August 2022 (UTC)Equipment section?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:03, 24 August 2022 (UTC)Sorry for the delay, should be the last thing, the fact that he died in her arms is intro-exclusive.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:10, 18 September 2022 (UTC)- No worries. Line edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:07, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- Yikes, do none of the sources even support that? Be careful not to make up details next time. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- No worries. Line edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:07, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
Ayrehead
You can now implement the new pronouns field and categories. You should also check if any of the sources actually confirm the character's gender as we're no longer assuming gender from pronouns or appearance, just gendered terms like man or male.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)- Added. This is new to me, but he can be considered as a he/him/male from this description right? "He was a private man at the best of times" ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- Yup, that sentence works for both. I've also added the Individuals with he/him pronouns category. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added. This is new to me, but he can be considered as a he/him/male from this description right? "He was a private man at the best of times" ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
Context needed for Coruscant in the body.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)I think the Limit of Vision should be mentioned in the bio section as well as skills and abilities.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)You can add that he felt a responsibility for his ship and weapon to the P&T based on the opening quote.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
Luca
It isn't clear where Yoda is during this mission. If he isn't there with them, I think it should be specified because it's a bit confusing right now.The "Mission to Vjun" section could use a further subsection, in my opinion, and possibly another image and quote.- (Review note) Make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR (Talk) 09:16, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
Last thing from me, it would be nice if the intro got expanded slightly, as it currently makes up for only around the 10% of the article.LucaRoR (Talk) 15:40, 23 February 2023 (UTC)- Expanded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:17, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
- Gave it a little tweak, I hope you're ok with it. LucaRoR (Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Expanded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:17, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
spookly
From New Essential Chronology: "The two Masterless Padawans located Yoda and continued to Vjun under his protection."—Worth rewording this content and adding it as the last sentence of the biography. Reasoning being that it does specifically mention they continued on as Masterless and ultimately finished the mission, and we do often add legacy-related sections/paragraphs when we can; seems weird to end it off the moment he dies.BtS: "Maruk has conflicting versions of his capture by Asajj Ventress..." - The end of this paragraph should note which version that the article assumes is correct.—spookywillowwtalk 22:04, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- Here is an example of how to use {{CSWECite}}. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 13:52, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Objections from previous nomination:
Master Fred
"her apparent lack of the Force..." Is that really how the source describes it, or is it more accurately a lack of connection to the Force or Force-sensitivityNo need to mention the CSWE entry and TERC mention in the Bts' first paragraph. We don't restate the Appearances and Sources sections in the prose anymore.How did you determine the proper way to handle the contradictions mentioned in the Bts? This might be worth noting for the reader.MasterFred(talk) 23:46, 23 February 2021 (UTC)- I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- I would give preference to the narrative works instead of the CSWE and ERC, and you can just state, "This article considers the events as described in the novel to be the canonical timeline," or something similar. That sentence wouldn't need to be referenced, either. Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 08:47, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
- I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Please implement {{CSWECite}} in your references.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:34, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:28, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:ToRsO bOy|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Invincible
- Nominated by: Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:25, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First (technically second) FAN. Let's hope it goes well this time around
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW, WP:CIS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:59, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- As leader of the clone wars project and fan of the Separatist military, I support this FAN Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:21, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work. Gotta get everything from "Cat and Mouse" to status! DwartiiDelver (talk) 01:15, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:15, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry for the extra objections, still looks great! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:31, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- The Invincible Hand OOM 224 20:02, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
- Samonic (Talk) 12:05, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 21:06, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
The Macaroni
Tarkin audiobook is missing.It seems a "Commanders and crew" section is in order per WP:LG#Starship and vehicle class articles.You can discuss the concept art in the bts.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:46, 1 August 2021 (UTC)- All done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:08, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Not seeing a need for separate refs in infobox/body for the date.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:22, 2 August 2021 (UTC)- Not sure why I added separate refs, tbh. Fixed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:35, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
Nubian is infobox-exclusive.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:36, 4 August 2021 (UTC)- Done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:14, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
I think there's a bit too much on the Imperial stuff in the intro. It takes up more than third of the intro but much less than that in the body.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:53, 13 August 2021 (UTC)- Is that enough content removed or is there anything more I can remove? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:07, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- That looks much better. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:14, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- Is that enough content removed or is there anything more I can remove? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:07, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
Sorry, was reading this and found some more. Intro: "which caused the Invincible's tracking torpedoes to destroy its bridge and therefore the vessel as well." Why would the Invincible being destroyed cause the torpedoes to destroy the stealth ship?- The link to Hyena-class is a redirect.
Fight with a Jedi and destruction: you open with "shortly thereafter", but you used that phrase just a couple sentences prior, so it gets repetitive. I think you can reword it slightly.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:19, 13 October 2021 (UTC)- All done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 01:52, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm not loving the current opening quote. It's a little boring, in my opinion, and a more action-y quote from the episode could be better to open up the article.- It's best to avoid ending and starting two consecutive sentences with the same word: "the modules that belonged to the Invincible were salvaged by Imperial defector Berch Teller. Teller then supposedly..."
- I wouldn't really say that something's resources themselves can result in something. Maybe reword to "its resources being sought after" or something here? "...as a result of its resources..."
It's unclear what Trench's point is here: "despite them being in possession of such a vessel, he had had encounters with similar ships in the past." If he's saying that his experience would allow him to defeat them or something like that, it could be made a bit clearer.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:04, 19 October 2021 (UTC)- This bit is still unclear. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:35, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- I don't know how that could be unclear. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Apologies, it's possible I was looking at an older revision or something. Looks better now. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:21, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- I don't know how that could be unclear. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Completely forgot to leave a message, but these should be done. However, I think the current main quote should remain since it's the only one that uses the Invincible's name in all of canon, but I can ask a member of the Inq what they might think I should do about this and get back to you on it. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:05, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- I can't deal with the rest of the objections right now, but I definitely see your point there. A larger discussion could be worth having. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:13, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- Quote changed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
- I can't deal with the rest of the objections right now, but I definitely see your point there. A larger discussion could be worth having. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:13, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- This bit is still unclear. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:35, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
Last couple things : do we know for sure that the blockade was exactly thirty craft? If so, how can there be at least 23 Munificents?- It's confirmed in Battles that Changed the Galaxy that there were 30 ships, but 23 Munificents can be seen in one of the shots from Cat and Mouse IIRC.
- Great. In that case, 23, 6, and Invincible add up to thirty so saying at least isn't necessary. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:29, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- Lost track of time here :P Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:57, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- Great. In that case, 23, 6, and Invincible add up to thirty so saying at least isn't necessary. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:29, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- It's confirmed in Battles that Changed the Galaxy that there were 30 ships, but 23 Munificents can be seen in one of the shots from Cat and Mouse IIRC.
Don't we have a date for the Tarkin events?- Added.
The third Legacy paragraph has some repeated phrasing; you start two sentences with "However," which can possible use some variation.- Fixed.
- I promise those three are really it :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:28, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- Heh, sure :P Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:59, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
Editor joins the battle
Wilhuff Tarkin needs his link added, nor is he mentioned in the history section. I think a brief sentence noting that Tarkin was informed the ship made up Teller's craft could be useful.- How's that?
The opening quote notes the ship is modular in design, so that should be noted in the description sectionEditoronthewiki (talk) 15:35, 1 August 2021 (UTC)- Done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:48, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Dwartii
I'd imagine something about the Invincible's poster appearance in "A Distant Echo" could be added to the legacy section, perhaps even alongside an image of the poster.DwartiiDelver (talk) 23:36, 4 October 2021 (UTC)- I haven't translated the cover so maybe it dates it there (somehow), but can it be said that the Space Battles cover featuring the Invincible was actually created around 19 BBY (or even created following the ship's destruction)?
- This one should have been done a week ago IIRC.
- Space Battles was reflected in the article then, although my objection about dating the poster's creation came afterward. DwartiiDelver (talk) 01:51, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- This one should have been done a week ago IIRC.
- I haven't translated the cover so maybe it dates it there (somehow), but can it be said that the Space Battles cover featuring the Invincible was actually created around 19 BBY (or even created following the ship's destruction)?
Also to confirm, have you checked the TCW S2 Blu-ray's Jedi Temple Archives special features for anything on the Invincible?DwartiiDelver (talk) 02:15, 5 October 2021 (UTC)- Courtesy of Immi, there was nothing on Invincible except a 3D model in the Jedi Temple Archives. So, would that go into the Sources? And what would the link be? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:36, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha—you can just add a link to Star Wars: The Clone Wars The Complete Season Two in the Sources section in that case. There is a template for the Jedi Temple Archives features, although from my experience that's only used in references, not the Sources. DwartiiDelver (talk) 17:40, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Actually, there was some notable BTS information, which I have added. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 17:46, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha—you can just add a link to Star Wars: The Clone Wars The Complete Season Two in the Sources section in that case. There is a template for the Jedi Temple Archives features, although from my experience that's only used in references, not the Sources. DwartiiDelver (talk) 17:40, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Courtesy of Immi, there was nothing on Invincible except a 3D model in the Jedi Temple Archives. So, would that go into the Sources? And what would the link be? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:36, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
The speakers of the legacy section quote need to be flipped around—Tarkin says the first line and the technician the second.DwartiiDelver (talk) 02:42, 6 October 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 22:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
"Destruction" is currently used twice in the first tRsentence of the Legacy section's second paragraph—using another word instead for one of these would be preferable if possible.DwartiiDelver (talk) 03:54, 15 October 2021 (UTC)- Changed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 14:57, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
"Also" is currently used three times in the first two sentences of the Description section's second paragraph—at least one of those could be removed/replaced with another word.- Changed.
I feel "As a result" can be removed from the intro's second paragraph.DwartiiDelver (talk) 19:48, 16 October 2021 (UTC)- I disagree. "As a result" is valid based on how I worded the first paragraph. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 20:47, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
Wanted to double check before adding it myself—I'd imagine heavy laser cannon can be linked in the article? I only ask as currently that page just makes mention of them on all terrain walkers, although if the source uses "heavy laser cannon" I would assume it can be linked here as well.To me at least, refs 3-8 seem as though the engines/cannons/torpedo launchers are the source of the info about them rather than CotR, considering the placement of "which states" directly after the engine/weapon names. I may just not be reading it right however.DwartiiDelver (talk) 23:15, 16 October 2021 (UTC)- Both done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 00:28, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Capital ship" is infobox-exclusiveThe part about Obi-Wan in the intro seems unnecessary to me. The only significant info surrounding that sentence is that the Republic retreated and the Invincible won.Is the last sentence of the BTS just saying that early, incomplete animation sequences involving the ship appear in the Blu-ray? That doesn't seem at all notable to me.OOM 224 22:03, 22 October 2021 (UTC)- "As well as..." that doesn't mean the whole last sentence is about incomplete sequences for the episode. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
- Alright, but if the "early layout" of the battle doesn't differ from the scene in the final episode, then the part about incomplete sequences isn't necessary. OOM 224 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Removed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Alright, but if the "early layout" of the battle doesn't differ from the scene in the final episode, then the part about incomplete sequences isn't necessary. OOM 224 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- "As well as..." that doesn't mean the whole last sentence is about incomplete sequences for the episode. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
I don't think manufacturers like Nubian should be listed alongside their products in the infoboxThe port/starboard info in the infobox ref notes aren't mentioned in the Description section"adorned with Trench's personal symbol instead of the emblem of the Confederacy of Independent Systems" — compared to what other ships?The intro uses "of Harch Separatist Admiral Trench" but the Commanders and crew section uses "of the Harch Separatist Admiral Trench""several years after the dreadnought's destruction" — don't see a need for this when a 19 BBY date is already specified"and survived the attack" — I'd say this should be removed as it's redundant to the concept of salvaging things. I don't think it's necessary to say that the parts were salvaged "after the battle" either.Would be nice to vary the language, specifically words that appear quite a few times in the article, like "later" and "after"OOM 224 18:44, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Can you mix up one of the two captions at the start, they're both in the format "The X of the Invincible" Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Changed the first one.
Is there a reason the Deflector shields aren't noted in the desciption? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Added now.
"While the Republic fled, Trench's T-series tactical droid, TI-99, inquired as to whether or not they should as well" is indicating TI-99 asked whether they should flee, can you clarify this. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. It was meant to say that TI-99 wondered if they should pursue them, don't know what happened there.
Great example of Theseus' paradox, is it worth mentioning a brief one-liner in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- What do you mean?
- Thinking about it, it's close but not quite like Wikipedia:Ship of Theseus so all good Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:57, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
- What do you mean?
- Review note: I think you could potentially cut out some of the Legacy stuff regarding Teller's warship, but if you want to keep the amount you have the next two points are definitely relevant. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- Adding new information shouldn't determine whether or not you get to keep current information if that's what I'm picking up from what you're saying.
Can you give context to the Gulf of Tatooine? I thought it was a location on the planet until I clicked the link. "a region of space near the planet Tatooine" or similar would suffice. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Added.
Can we get a bit more context regarding it's destruction? He was going to ambush the convoy and then just loses his ship, was it a counter-ambush or did security escort or reinforcements for the convoy defeat the ship? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- How's that? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:18, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Are the posters images that can be added to the article in the legacy section? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:58, 30 October 2021 (UTC)- Grabbed a screenshot but because of the scene it is quite dark. I've improved it a little and sent to Erebus to check. For reference the scene is at 5:49 on D+ Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- It's good. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 17:52, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Grabbed a screenshot but because of the scene it is quite dark. I've improved it a little and sent to Erebus to check. For reference the scene is at 5:49 on D+ Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 21:06, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- I will address any and all possible objections when I return from vacation in 7-8 days. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:45, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
- Just noticed, what poster are you referring to? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:37, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- I never added it, but I can check. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:03, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Erebus Chronus|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Renz
- Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:07, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I really did not expect this to end up on the FAN but Barrie Holland apparently has a lot of stories to tell.
- WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Ambition
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Great work. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:26, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 21:08, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:41, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:56, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
- Very nice! LucaRoR (Talk) 14:58, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 01:51, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- Great work Ayre. DarthRuiz30 (talk) 02:21, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Is it really necessary to include the "Ha! Ha!" in the bts quote? It doesn't really add much in my opinion.- Eh I usually include that kind of thing as part of the whole quote, but removed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Should we be listing the OT/PT graphic novels by the first movie they adapt in appearances per Forum:CT:Clarifying the Appearances section in the Layout Guide?- I don't think we have a consistent precedent on this, but done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
"so that Solo turned into Renz's gun" -- this implies that Solo literally transformed into a gun, which is not what I think you're trying to say.- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Endor Limited is missing a release year, and it was not produced by WotC :P- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Can you please give the series name and full release date for the De Agostini book?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:06, 11 August 2021 (UTC)- Damn, I generally just auto-assume De Agostini full dates are impossible, I forgot that Encyclopedia actually has them. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Do we have/need a page for the Endor bunker garrison?- Made one, although the precedent for when a garrison does or doesn't get a page seems a little spotty. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Is the capitalization of Rebel in the opening quote accurate?- Changed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
The "Duped by Solo" quote caption doesn't make it clear who the second speaker is.- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Do you think a year for Eye of the Needle is worth adding?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:00, 17 August 2021 (UTC)- I left it out mostly because I don't really see how the year is relevant to the character Renz, all we need to know is that Holland and Marquand met on the film prior to Holland being offered Renz which is clear in the text. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Capturing Rebels- can the first part of the sentence be referenced to Jedi as well as the point of his superior? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Moved the reference. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
A Great Line - In the quote, please note [sic] at the start with the grammatical error Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Can you note that the role was not credited? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
In "A complicated scene", Holland notes he believes his portrayal of Renz to be "a forceful officer whose ruthless manner summed up the power of the Empire.". Can we incorporate any of that in the P&T based on the character's behaviour, perhaps speaking to his dedication and loyalty to the empire? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- I'd rather leave the actors interpretation in the BTS and avoid trying to extrapolate stuff for the P&T from it. Since he only has one line I don't think we can really say much more that what's currently there. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Is Category:Endorians adequate here? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- I don't think being stationed on Endor is really enough to count him as an Endorian, and for all we know he shipped out to sleep on the Death Star every night or something. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
The film provides no indication that Dyer was killed; we only see him fall over a railing.UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:10, 23 January 2022 (UTC)- Huh, I'd never considered he might survive falling into the generator but I guess it's possible. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:43, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:36, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Ayrehead02|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Flame-colored robes
- Nominated by: Minnabird (talk) 18:03, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS
(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)
(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Objections, suggestions, and a lot of screaming about Padmé and Naboo fashion addressed via Discord. Immi Thrax (talk) 23:57, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:54, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- I think we're ready to go. Fantastic section header names. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:41, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 02:08, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:25, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Really great work here, just a couple things: for one, it isn't super clear to me if "The handmaidens often wore hoods" is connected to the article subject. If that's the case, it can be made a little clearer."..." should be replaced with "…"When you say Parasitti used the disguise against her, I think it should be explicitly mentioned that when she shapeshifted into a handmaiden, she was disguised in the robes. The article kind of implies it right now but doesn't state it."All over the galaxy" is intro-exclusive."At least one other queen's retinue also wore similar robes." — It should be made clear that this retinue was also of the Royal House of Naboo.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:40, 12 August 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Anakin.Any reason you didn't mention a date for Raiders of the Lost Gundark?- Popping my head in to note there's no available date, just a range of "sometime while she's queen." Immi Thrax (talk) 00:01, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
All of the stuff in "Remembered in light" takes place before the last paragraph of "Banked embers", so that needs to be re-ordered.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:39, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
Lewis
Missing appearances, I pointed them out to you on the Discord server before and guessing you forgot to add themLewisr (talk) 16:31, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
There's two purposes in the intro not noted in the infobox: "complement several of the queen's outfits and help the handmaidens fade to the background." Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:52, 4 November 2021 (UTC)Does the robe have red in it? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:52, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Will tackle the other objection later but: I suspect where you're seeing red is the under-robe and sash. They're described variously as red and orange in secondary material iirc but since the in-universe references call them orange, I've opted for that. It seems to be such a hot red-orange that simply categorizing as one or the other is kind of trusting your perceptions and throwing a dart. Minnabird (talk) 13:28, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
- Added some more sources. Are Appearances/Sources still incomplete? UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:21, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- Until Minna could return and handle objections herself again, removing for Manoof's objection that has been left unaddressed for over three weeks. OOM 224 18:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 19:34, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Belaya
- Nominated by: Immi Thrax (talk) 02:55, 14 August 2021 (UTC) and ImpacticForce (Talk)
- Nomination comments: This co-nomination is also a co-first-FAN for both of us
- WookieeProject (optional): WookieeProject: Pride, WP:KOTOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- OOM 224 20:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- D MCCG (chat) 16:03, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
- Perfection.gif great work! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:46, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:44, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
- Chef's kiss! -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:35, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- Well done! Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:38, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:58, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
OOM
It's best to establish context for subjects upon their first mention so as to avoid confusion further down the page. Specifically, Dantooine as a planet and Revan as a former Jedi in the first lines of the first and third paragraph (intro), respectively.- Impactic and Immi have tackled that, and some other context left out previously. Please see if we've added too much context or if more is still needed!
- Looks good, though I think it is a little too much. The first sentence about Revan can be removed since there's no need to mention Revan at that point in the article (since it's not relevant to Belaya). I've also cut down on the context here, please see if that's okay OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Dialed back! Does that now leave the last sentence in a weird place by calling Malak "his former Sith apprentice"? Immi Thrax (talk) 12:23, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Looks good, though I think it is a little too much. The first sentence about Revan can be removed since there's no need to mention Revan at that point in the article (since it's not relevant to Belaya). I've also cut down on the context here, please see if that's okay OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Impactic and Immi have tackled that, and some other context left out previously. Please see if we've added too much context or if more is still needed!
"Although" is preferred over "though" in formal writing- Fixed by Impactic.
Per precedence, the video game developer (BioWare in this case) should be mentioned in BTS sectionsOOM 224 19:00, 20 August 2021 (UTC)- Added by Impactic. Immi Thrax (talk) 04:29, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
Also (following on my first objection. This objection got longer than I thought it would, but bear with me here :P), I'm not sure if so much context on the Jedi Civil War is needed in "Traditions of the Jedi." I suggest first removing the part between "In 3956 BBY" and "Bastila Shan brought Revan," and then adding the necessary context that Revan lost his memories of his past self and was captured by the Jedi; I'd say only those two bits of info are needed since the rest aren't required for 1) Belaya as an article or 2) making the text here clear to readersOOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Deesra Luur Jada. Something like "Jedi Knight" would do fine. Similarly, context is needed for KorribanIs there a reason why the Masters in that Deesra sentence are listed in the current order? If not then it's best to just sort them alphabetically.- Added context. I think the order of the Masters was how they were standing in the Enclave from left to right, but I went ahead and ordered them alphabetically. Wasn't sure to order by first name or last, if I did it wrong just ping me on discord and I can fix it. ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:11, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Is it really unclear whom Gaider is referring too? I'd say it's fair to assume it to be Belaya. Plus, the page is already indicating this by talking about it :POOM 224 11:34, 22 August 2021 (UTC)- I changed it for now, but I'll check with Immi later, it'll probably get rewritten a little bit. ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:07, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Instead of repeating information between both the Biography and the P&T sections, I suggest removing Belaya's species from the BiographyContext for Bastila. Not sure what her rank was at the time, but either Jedi Knight or Master would do fine- Removed species from the Biography. The council refers to Bastila as a padawan in the game. ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:36, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
"She expressed disbelief that someone so strong […]" It's not immediately clear who "she" is—Bastila or Belaya. Also, that same line is a little "choppy"—it's not really connected to the surrounding sentences. As an example, I've joined the "many nights alone together" sentence here with the previous line for a better flow.- Reworded to clarify and connect. Immi Thrax (talk) 00:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
"After Revan correctly recited the Jedi Code, he constructed his own lightsaber with a crystal from Master Dorak" — I don't think this is necessary since it's solely about Revan's journeyOOM 224 17:13, 22 August 2021 (UTC)- I've revised the Crystal Cave part to focus on Belaya commenting on it. Should we leave any mention of the Jedi Code part to the BTS? I don't believe it's canonically established who re-taught Revan the Jedi Code, so it doesn't really fit the "100% completion" template, and IIRC the dialogue isn't available once someone else has taught it (but we can test that to find out) Immi Thrax (talk) 00:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
"The fallen Jedi"- Some of the detail in the first paragraph, bar the last sentence, can be cut to summarise that Juhani fell and the resulting effects
- "rumors circulated that local settlers had been attacked by the newly aggressive wildlife, a Jedi apprentice had hurt her own master, and Master Quatra may not survive her injuries" I know I say this a lot, but I don't think this context here is necessary either OOM 224 18:02, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
- Worked on the paragraphs, let me know if I need to re-add or remove any context. ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:04, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Okay, time for the final push- I don't think "After Revan located a Star Map within the ruins" is necessary information
- Removed!
- For the last Bio paragraph, simply saying that 1) the Enclave was bombarded by the Sith, 2) there were many Jedi casualties, 3) Malak was defeated by Revan, and 4) the First Jedi purge resulted in the deaths of most Order members is enough. Further details aren't needed since all the readers need here is a brief overview on the potential effects of the war on Belaya.
- How's it now?
- Looking great! There's only one thing with that last sentence: the First Jedi Purge isn't really part of the Sith Civil War. They're concurrent and certainly related, but the Sith killing Jedi was separate from their own struggle for dominance over each other OOM 224 19:15, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed! ImpacticForce (Talk) 19:35, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Looking great! There's only one thing with that last sentence: the First Jedi Purge isn't really part of the Sith Civil War. They're concurrent and certainly related, but the Sith killing Jedi was separate from their own struggle for dominance over each other OOM 224 19:15, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- How's it now?
- It's pretty clear that "Peter T." is Peter Thomas, so I'd just replace "and notes from "Peter T." are found" with "whose notes are found"
- Revised!
- Lastly, I jsut want to confirm if the Prima's Guide been checked for any additional info OOM 224 18:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Yep! Entirety of the Prima mention: "The courtyard is populated by a few Jedi and by Belaya, who comments on your progress as you learn the ways of the Force. (She’s a friend of Juhani, whom you’ll meet later, and she leaves the courtyard forever if Juhani meets an untimely end.)" Since none of that is unique info, we didn't cite it. Immi Thrax (talk) 18:44, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- I don't think "After Revan located a Star Map within the ruins" is necessary information
Macaroni
I'm not a huge fan of having no section header for the first bts paragraph. What do you think about adding one?I think "Authorial intent" could use a paragraph break and a quote.- Addressed both BTS-related objections. Related to the below, adjusted image positioning as well. Immi Thrax (talk) 01:19, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
The last two paragraphs of the bio are quite small and only work because of the huge image, which is a bit distracting. I'd say it can be a bit smaller and the last paragraphs merged.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:05, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- Merged the paragraphs. The picture's size might need to be adjusted a little more. ImpacticForce (Talk) 00:42, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
I don't really understand saying "In the time of [...] Revan" -- what are you trying to say here about the timeline that isn't already said?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- My fault for using a phrasing from the CSWE: "A human Jedi who trained under Master Zhar Lestin in the time of Darth Revan, she was friends with Juhani." I took that to mean that the years of her training overlapped with the years that Revan was active as a Sith. Does the dating already convey that? Revise or remove? Immi Thrax (talk) 10:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Check out the revision, and if it's still not working, we'll trim :) Immi Thrax (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Looks good! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:44, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
In the last paragraph of "The Fallen Jedi", is it worth noting that Bastila likewise couldn't assist? It's been ages since I played the game so I can't remember if she was available as a party member or not.- Revised the wording to include Bastila and be more clear about the instruction—Zhar says "None of the other Jedi at the academy are permitted to help you in this task" and Bastila can't be used as a party member for it. Is that good? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
The first sentence of "The third trial" is really short, and jumps straight to Revan defeating her. Are you able to expand the initial sentence slightly and mention that they battled? Were any warning words said or was this an ambush strike? Can we say they used lightsabers and force powers or is that a stretch given the context of the game?- Revised wording! Didn't add details, both for gameplay reasons (you could choose not to use lightsaber or Force powers) and because it'd go off the topic of Belaya herself. Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Same section, I'm not sure the last two sentences are needed. I'll keep looking but no other issues spotted so far! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- We feel they're needed since Belaya was based on Dantooine; it's relevant to note what happened to Dantooine as it would have affected her (whether or not she was present, whether or not she survived...), as would the Jedi purge (if she survived the Dantooine bombardment). We believe those events need to be mentioned while avoiding out-of-universe speculating about the unknowns (so no "her fate was unknown"). Would you like us to revise the sentences in some other way? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- That makes sense, can we at least connect Belaya in there somehow. Eg Juhani left Belaya to join Revan... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Connected! Immi Thrax (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- That makes sense, can we at least connect Belaya in there somehow. Eg Juhani left Belaya to join Revan... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- We feel they're needed since Belaya was based on Dantooine; it's relevant to note what happened to Dantooine as it would have affected her (whether or not she was present, whether or not she survived...), as would the Jedi purge (if she survived the Dantooine bombardment). We believe those events need to be mentioned while avoiding out-of-universe speculating about the unknowns (so no "her fate was unknown"). Would you like us to revise the sentences in some other way? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Oh, forgot to mention you should double check the categories and see if there's anything else that could be added. I usually go into each existing category and see if there's sub or parent categories that offer a separate category branch that could also apply. For example, I went up the Jedi Knights of the Jedi Order and found under the Jedi individuals category another branch that could apply: Category:Jedi Guardians Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- I added Category:Jedi Guardians. I didn't see any other applicable categories, but I'll be on the lookout. ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:10, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Can we describe her hairstyle at all in P&T? Review complete :) Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)- Initially I thought that category was only for those who were native to it, but it appears to apply to any people who lived on the planet. Added. ImpacticForce (Talk) 15:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Whoops forgot to address the hairstyle. Fixed. ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:34, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:58, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
Belaya is part of the scope of WP:PRIDE's project based on the strong subtext that she had romantic feelings for Juhani, but at the moment, she has not been placed in the Category:LGBTQ+ individuals category since it's tricky to judge how explicit that needs to be for a potential status article. I've been unable to find any interviews where it's clear that Belaya is being discussed, though David Gaider said years later of Juhani: "We kind of hid it. She never says, 'She was my lover.' She just says, 'We are very close.'" (I don't think he quite remembered what Juhani did or didn't say, and it isn't totally clear if this is meant to be Belaya or Quatra). For what it's worth, I thought it was obvious and many people have felt that way about her since we're used to having things implied, in subtext, coded, etc., particularly since KOTOR was released in 2003 and it was doing groundbreaking-but-very-carefully stuff with Juhani. How do reviewers feel about that category for Belaya?Immi Thrax (talk) 04:28, 14 August 2021 (UTC)- Upon further research (I'm talking a Google cache of an archive/mirror of the defunct LucasForums, eventually leading to finding the Archive.org of that forum!), we found David Gaider made explicit the authorial intent that Belaya was Juhani's former lover. This has been quote in the BTS, not incorporated into the IU sections. I also found video of the conference panel to transcribe a more accurate quote. Based on this OOU confirmation of what was implied IU, we've confidently placed Belaya in the category. Immi Thrax (talk) 22:08, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Immi Thrax|]] [[Category:Archived nominations by User:ImpacticForce|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Atrisi system
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 21:59, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: TCW :|
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:TCW
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- The Artisinal system. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:39, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
- Carrying vote over from the GAN after reviewing the changes. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:34, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 16:40, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Systems online Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:09, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 02:25, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 22:47, 11 November 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:10, 26 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Manoof
Given the image shows "Kitel Phard" rather than "Atrisi system", is it worth noting in brackets the alternate name for the system's planet in the infobox to reduce confusion? Similar to an image caption? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:02, 6 November 2021 (UTC)- Sure. Imperators II(Talk) 16:16, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:11, 26 December 2021 (UTC)
- More a comment than an objection, since the system is also known as Kitel Phard System, shouldn't it be bolded in the intro? LucaRoR (Talk) 16:24, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nope, names from the Appendix generally don't override existing names, so we're not treating "Kitel Phard system" as a in-universe name. Imperators II(Talk) 16:32, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Suljo Warde
- Nominated by: VergenceScatter (talk) 01:16, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First one, let's hope this goes well. Thanks to everyone who's helped me to get to the point that I feel confident enough to do this.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:FFGAMES
(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Happy to cast a support vote! Good work :) -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:59, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 03:39, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
- Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:40, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- Boo Moraband Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:03, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
- Nice work OOM 224 19:40, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:50, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
- Lovely work! —TomotronStar Forge 14:10, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
Object
Liverpool92
"Human" and "Male" or any other use of gender should be lowercase.--Liverpool92 14:47, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- "Human" is always capitalized in legends, but I've fixed the "male." VergenceScatter (talk) 19:43, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
Fan
Is "Assassins" meant to be capitalised in the intro?Fan26 (Talk) 14:08, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- No, it's not. Fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
"Warde, who would later save Marcolf’s life in return, believed that Marcolf, a Force-sensitive, had the potential to join the Jedi Order, so he brought the Mirialan with him to the planet Arbooine—where Warde had been laying the groundwork for a Republic outpost—with plans to eventually bring him to Coruscant[1], the capital of the Republic." This is a run-on, please rectify.Fan26 (Talk) 23:41, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- Rectified. VergenceScatter (talk) 01:00, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Context for Eriadu in the introThe Republic seems like it could go in the infoboxTwo of the quotes are missing punctuation- Still one to go Commander Code-8 Hello There! 23:04, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
- Oops, fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 23:11, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
- Still one to go Commander Code-8 Hello There! 23:04, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
Images generally look better when they're placed below quotes, and doing it that way is more consistent with our other status articlesThe Cato Neimoidia section should have another subsection rather than just oneCommander Code-8 Hello There! 06:24, 26 September 2021 (UTC)- All done. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:50, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
It would be appropriate to add the years for the Clone Wars on their first mention, given that the article has a time jump- Added
Any chance of linking Warde's actions on Cato Neimoidia to an existing Clone Wars battle, or even creating a new article if the relevant info is mainly about the city?- Created a new article
- This isn't an objection but I've accessed an online copy of the sourcebook and it uses the heading Battle for Jorra, which should be used as a canonical title
- Created a new article
The first sentence of the Encountering the discovers section reads like we should already know that the holocron was discovered, could you adjust the wording there?- How's that?
It's not currently clear how Warde recognized the discoverers until later in that section- Should be fixed
I found a few instances of underlinking throughout the article, might be good to check for anything elseCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:08, 21 March 2022 (UTC)- Went through, added a few more. Should be good now. VergenceScatter (talk) 00:32, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Chandrilan is intro exclusive- It's already in the bio.
- I meant Chandrilan/Legends, not Chandrila
- It says he's from Chandrila, which is the same as saying he's Chandrilan. I don't think it's intro-exclusive. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:31, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- What I'm more concerned about is that Chandrilan isn't linked in the body Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:32, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Linked. VergenceScatter (talk) 05:34, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- What I'm more concerned about is that Chandrilan isn't linked in the body Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:32, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- It says he's from Chandrila, which is the same as saying he's Chandrilan. I don't think it's intro-exclusive. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:31, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- I meant Chandrilan/Legends, not Chandrila
- It's already in the bio.
Needs mediacat- Added
Gatekeeper is inconsistently capitalized throughout- Fixed.
There's quotes from the first page of Chapter II or III in the sourcebook that would suit the P&T- Used the one from Chapter II. I didn't use the Chapter III quote anywhere because it's unclear when he said it.
It'd be worth specifying that the discoverers had retraced Warde's steps after finding the holocron and learned about him from the people he affected- Done
There's quotes for the optional paths and alternate endings that could go in both of the latter Bts subsectionsCommander Code-8 Hello There! 09:24, 22 March 2022 (UTC)- Added VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- TIL the Layout Guide technically allows quotes to be used outside of the beginning of a section. Anyway there's still options for the final challenge and meeting section, even if its the ones quoted in that section Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:49, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Added. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:37, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- TIL the Layout Guide technically allows quotes to be used outside of the beginning of a section. Anyway there's still options for the final challenge and meeting section, even if its the ones quoted in that section Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:49, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Added VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Couple more things: Based on the quote in Warde's fall you can specify the names of all the characters mentioned there in the bodyCould you split the second paragraph in Arrival and descent?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:47, 1 May 2022 (UTC)- Both done VergenceScatter (talk) 05:38, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
I count three one-paragraph sections. How would you feel about merging some of them?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:53, 26 October 2021 (UTC)- Hmm, the problem is that doing so would prevent me from including the quotes that are in those sections. Do you think it's worth combining those sections if I have to get rid of the quotes? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- If that's the only reason not to, then absolutely. Quotes are added if sectioning allows, not the other way around. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:18, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- "Early life" and "Clone Wars" can easily be merged into something like "Early life and Clone Wars."
- Done. Sorry about the wait, misread the message chain. VergenceScatter (talk) 19:38, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
- "Early life" and "Clone Wars" can easily be merged into something like "Early life and Clone Wars."
- If that's the only reason not to, then absolutely. Quotes are added if sectioning allows, not the other way around. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:18, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Hmm, the problem is that doing so would prevent me from including the quotes that are in those sections. Do you think it's worth combining those sections if I have to get rid of the quotes? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
We should avoid placing images next to consecutive paragraphs.I'm going to disagree here. I believe all of the image placement on the article is fine.VergenceScatter (talk) 18:33, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
"Skills and abilities" has a one-sentence paragraph. I think that section can be two paragraphs, but they should be of around equal length.- Done;
Bts needs some more subsectioning.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:27, 28 October 2021 (UTC)- How's that? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:33, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
ThrawnChiss7
Under "Personality and traits" there is a red template that says "Template:Trust is a luxury I can no longer afford"ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 01:44, 23 March 2022 (UTC)- Fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 03:27, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 14:44, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
OOM
There should be an additional subsection under "Early life and Clone Wars"- Added
The word "during" gets repetitive, particularly at the start of the Biography. See if you can cut some out.Warde's species and gender are repeated between the Biography and the P&T; stating them in either one section is enough.OOM 224 10:00, 24 May 2022 (UTC)- Removed VergenceScatter (talk) 20:42, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
Continuing the review, now that I've read through the article in its entirety…- "its gatekeeper, an artificial personality that could guide a future individual to the holocron's components" — there's no real need to state this info here, so how about merging it into the next paragraph, specifically "took comfort in the fact that the gatekeeper would remain to guide the finders of the holocron"?
- Merged.
- No quote for the "Arbooine" section? (or Equipment?)
- I'd thought there weren't any available, but was able to find one for each.
- "He was never able to understand why he had chosen to come to Moraband, even after years of contemplation, although his ultimate reason for doing so was that he saw that he would die on the planet" — I'm confused with the wording here. Are you trying to give the reason for Warde going to Moraband while also saying that he never understood the same decision?
"where he kept a datapad full of ranting prophecies — heh, this almost sounds like me :P- There's enough space for an image under P&T, but I understand if you don't want to add one.
- There's space but I don't think there's an image that fits there super well
- Also, his quip about Moraband's weather is good P&T material.
- Added
- For Skills and abilities, I'd like it if you could specify how his power of foresight was different from that of other Jedi, as per the quote in that section. OOM 224 17:17, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- Done VergenceScatter (talk) 19:34, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- "its gatekeeper, an artificial personality that could guide a future individual to the holocron's components" — there's no real need to state this info here, so how about merging it into the next paragraph, specifically "took comfort in the fact that the gatekeeper would remain to guide the finders of the holocron"?
UberSoldat
Please ensure all image captions connect with this subject. Image captions that only name the subject depicted (e.g. Moraband) are a relic of status articles past, and one of the reasons they lost status later on. Their job is to tell me why the image is relevant to this article in the first place.UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:55, 14 June 2022 (UTC)- I don't really understand how it's unclear how they're related to the article, but done VergenceScatter (talk) 20:26, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
- The caption "Moraband" does not explain why Moraband is relevant to Suljo Warde. Also, there's still Gel Marcolf left, what is his role in Warde's history? UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:55, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- Literally anyone who reads the article will know VergenceScatter (talk) 07:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've added it, but I maintain that this requirement makes no sense unless you expect readers to be unable to read the article VergenceScatter (talk) 07:15, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- All I'll say is avoiding such a practice is only going against modern site-wide precedent. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've added it, but I maintain that this requirement makes no sense unless you expect readers to be unable to read the article VergenceScatter (talk) 07:15, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- Literally anyone who reads the article will know VergenceScatter (talk) 07:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- The caption "Moraband" does not explain why Moraband is relevant to Suljo Warde. Also, there's still Gel Marcolf left, what is his role in Warde's history? UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:55, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I don't really understand how it's unclear how they're related to the article, but done VergenceScatter (talk) 20:26, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- Note that Chronicles uses "Moraband" throughout, so I've elected to use that name in the article instead of "Korriban." VergenceScatter (talk) 22:39, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:VergenceScatter|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2023|]]
Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant
- Nominated by: Liverpool92 15:06, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First FAN.
- Date Archived: 20:24, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1758 words (253 introduction, 1448 body, 57 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1757 words (253 introduction, 1447 body, 57 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:GE
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:09, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work VergenceScatter (talk) 05:35, 5 January 2022 (UTC)
- D MCCG (chat) 06:21, 7 January 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work indeed. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:22, 16 February 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 07:51, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Watch out for duplicate links in the future. Samonic (Talk) 19:15, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
- Minnabird (talk) 22:03, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
Vergence
Any way you can add a "Skills and abilities" section?VergenceScatter (talk) 16:15, 8 September 2021 (UTC)Does the comic identify Ki-Adi Mundi as a Cerean? (Or at least picture him?)VergenceScatter (talk) 17:02, 4 January 2022 (UTC)Is there any available context for Sword of Khashyun?VergenceScatter (talk) 17:19, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
Yakov, Sergeant Tzvi
The second intro paragraph has confusing sentence structure. I had trouble parsing the grammar of its second-last sentence.You should clarify that "Red Fury" and "709th Legion" are the same.Who is Io?-- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 04:59, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Quote sourcing needs to be updatedThe bio should start with a sentence that more directly introduces this character, similar to a first sentence in the intro. The context for the First Order could also go here, since its in the intro and not the bioThere's a few places where the writing is more like narrative prose than an encyclopedic entry, stuff like "First Order assault shuttle roared above the outpost" and "revealing his scared face and his prosthetic left eye."Having not read the comic, it seems like there's stuff about the sergeants views on history that could be described in the P&TThe second and fourth sections of the bio need some brief context to establish the sergeant getting to the locationsEquipment section goes below skills and abilitiesMediacat needs to be linkedSince the StarWars.com article came out before the comic, it needs to have {{1stp}} next to it and get described in the BtsCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:15, 17 April 2022 (UTC)The part about the sergeant revealing his scar and prosthetic eye can be removed, and the fact that he acquired those injuries at some point can be mentioned in the first sectionCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:14, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
Sergeant Samonic
"A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta, the First Order, as a stormtrooper and military officer of the 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury." — Could you change that to "A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta of the First Order. He served as a stormtrooper and military officer of the junta's 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury.""- "He had a long scar around his left eye, with a blue prosthetic in place of where his eye should be." This is like a very small P+T(Personality and traits) section, which is unnecessary as you have a P+T section below; and in any case, it should be at the end of the intro.
Could you merge some of the intro's paragraphs? Same thing for the body's "Paying Dok-Ondar a visit."— Samonic 15:27, 29 April 2022 (UTC)"During the conflict with the private military force, the Resistance, the sergeant—whose legion deployed to the planet Batuu at Black Spire Outpost to punish any Resistance activity." — Could you change how you introduce the Resistance to how you introduce the First Order for consistancy? — also, "[…] the sergeant—whose legion…" makes it seem like the legion was a part of the Resistance.- Fixed.
Context for Lieutenant Agnon, Kendoh Gang, Dok Ondar (should be supplied when first mentioned)Can you get a quote for "Skills and abilities/Equipment"?— Samonic 09:41, 9 May 2022 (UTC)Article is missing some links, please go through the article and add links where necessary; you have a duplicate link.— Samonic 17:44, 12 May 2022 (UTC)Missing context throughout.— Samonic 17:46, 12 May 2022 (UTC)Can this link to Batuu system? "Above Batuu"— Samonic 20:59, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- Done.
" In 34 ABY,[3] at Black Spire Outpost[2] on the Outer Rim[4] planet Batuu,[2] a First Order assault shuttle flying above the outpost" Is this sentence missing something?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- Fixed.
Can you merge the first two subsections?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- I disagree because merging them will create one subsection way bigger than the rest. Plus I think separating it by comic issue is better for organization.
Who's Remex Io affiliated with?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)"The sergeant had never paid much attention to history, as he was more concerned with the future" and "comment at the sergeant which caused him smack Voss with the end of his blaster, making her bleed.[7]" Missing something?What's the story? "Ondar understood that the sergeant had no appreciation for the past but told him the story of how he came into possession of Mundi's lightsaber.[1]"Samonic 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)Double dashes (--) should be replaced with mdashes (—) in quotes."A human male served as a stormtrooper sergeant and military officer in the First Order." — I'd remove the mention of "military officer" and instead say "served as a stormtrooper sergeant in the First Order's military."Samonic (Talk) 19:01, 14 December 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
The intro feels a bit too large in my opinion. Are you able to cut down some bits of extra information from the four paragraphs?- Fixed.
Is there a reason why you're linking to First Order High Command? They're simply the leaders of the First Order military, not the military itself.- Because one of the reviewers did a copy edit and added that so I went with it.
Context for Moraband.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 23:14, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
SE
"noting that nothing there required their presence." Just to clarify, in the intro this is referring to the location he was called to to provide support, correct?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:02, 28 June 2022 (UTC)- Correct.
Does he land on the planet after calling them Batuuan rats, or does he land on the outpost at a later time?- We don't know because next we see him is in Dok Ondar's shop.
"The stormtrooper sergeant held the lightsaber used by the late Cerean Jedi Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi." Does he pick up the saber in Dok's, or did he already have it?- Already has it.
"asking if he was the Jedi with the pointed head." Who is he asking?- Ondar. Fixed
"that Ondar said that he did not have to threaten him because the Ithorian was just a humble store owner with only respect for the First Order." Small, but it's a bit unclear whether Ondar is saying the sergeant doesn't have to threaten him, or the other way around.Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:48, 29 June 2022 (UTC)- Cleared it up.
"He realized that this incursion was useless as the operatives were not members of the Resistance." Who were they with?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 22:44, 29 June 2022 (UTC)The body states the stormtrooper struck Voss with a baton, but the image caption says it was with the butt of his blaster. Which was it?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:20, 7 January 2023 (UTC)Do we know why Ondar told him the story about how he acquired the lightsaber? Was he asked, or did he just go into it?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:27, 7 January 2023 (UTC)Any details on how he took the two operatives out?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:37, 7 January 2023 (UTC)In the intro, prior to this sentence you refer to just the sergeant going to Dok's, followed by a mention of "them" "Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched via a cam droid by the criminal trio known as the Kendoh Gang. " Can you clarify who they are?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 08:07, 7 February 2023 (UTC)
OOM
Preliminaries- No need to specify that the left eye is prosthetic in the eye colour field; it's redundant to what's in the cybernetics field.
- Fixed
- "autocratic military junta" is intro-exclusive. It's also unnecessary context.
- Fixed
- The intro is long enough already for an article this size, so I'd remove the mention of the physcial traits at the end.
- Shortened
- "but as well as" is ungrammatical.
- Fixed
- No need to repeat things like species and gender between the Biography and the P&T sections. Specifying them once in either one of those sections is enough. OOM 224 16:31, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed
- Watch out for consecutive references. Please double-check to confirm that the references are supporting the correct words and remove the consecutive references. OOM 224 16:33, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
- No need to specify that the left eye is prosthetic in the eye colour field; it's redundant to what's in the cybernetics field.
Macaroni
The date note never mentions the year in question.- "The stormtrooper sergeant held the lightsaber used by the late Cerean Jedi Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi." -- this sentence kind of comes out of nowhere, can you reword it a bit so that it works better with the rest of the paragraph?
The final bio section can fit another image.- Review note: the way you pipelinked Aliens of the Galaxy was unnecessary, since it's just the title of the book the whole thing gets italicized. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:04, 26 December 2022 (UTC)
Regarding the date note, I'd suggest rewording it so that it establishes a specific issue of the series in which the battle and the sergeant appear and then explain how that corresponds to 34 ABY.- Ondar's story about Moraband comes out of nowhere, can you tweak that part a bit?
Does the comic really support him having "great skill" on the bike? Also, anyone can knock someone in the mouth with a blaster, that's not a particular skill of his.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:43, 27 January 2023 (UTC)Should be the last thing: I'm not so sure about the phrase "relative ease" since there's not anything to which it's relevant, so can you reword that sentence?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 06:03, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
Minna
The intro should bring up Voss' full name at some point; maybe by saying "the Kendoh Gang, led by Kendoh Voss" instead of just "the Kendoh Gang"? Because in the last paragraph of the intro it just brings up "Voss" as if the reader has already been introduced to him and I wasn't sure until reading a later part whether he was associated with the Kendoh Gang.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)<"As the sergeant continued lecturing Ondar about the future, a recording video droid, secretly placed there by the Clawdite Remex Io of the Kendoh Gang was being monitored and watched by Io and his fellow partners in crime, the Aqualish Wooro and the leader, Kendoh Voss, from their starship." There is a lot of information, and also passive voice, in this sentence. I would consider breaking it up and making Remex, Wooro, and Voss more active subjects of those sentences. This is not an objection as such, just a suggestion for how to make this read more smoothly.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)Please review a few revisions I made and make sure you're comfortable with them.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)
spookly
If you would be able to sort the pronouns update for the article, would be lovely. Related resources if you've not done one before: 1, 2, 3.—spookywillowwtalk 19:41, 25 February 2023 (UTC)- I've made the pronouns update since this has been unaddressed for a while. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:32, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
- Cheers.—spookywillowwtalk 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
- I've made the pronouns update since this has been unaddressed for a while. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:32, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Liverpool92|]]