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Revision as of 22:49, 27 November 2021
WP:FAN
This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.
The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.
In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.
Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.
A Featured article must…
- …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
- …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
- …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
- …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
- …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
- …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
- …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
- …have no redlinks.
- …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
- …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
- …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
- …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
- …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
- …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
- …be nominated by a user who has promoted at least one article to Good article status. Exceptions can be made for a Good article nomination that, due to objections post-nomination, has gone over the Good article word limit, so long as the number of words added during the Good article nomination process is 250 or fewer.
How to nominate:
- Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fifteen requirements stated above.
- Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
- Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
- Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
- Purge the article to update the template.
- Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
- The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
- Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
- Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
- Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.
How to review:
- To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
- The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
- Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
- Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
Result:
- If a nomination has been active for over two days and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes.
- Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination using JocastaBot in Wookieepedia's Discord server and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.
Contents
- 1 Featured article nominations
- 1.1 Unidentified Trade Federation base
- 1.2 Fideltin Rusk
- 1.3 Dromund Kaas operation
- 1.4 Sajar
- 1.5 Attack on Fondor
- 1.6 Revan
- 1.6.1 (1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
- 1.6.1.1 Support
- 1.6.1.2 Object
- 1.6.1.3 Comments
- 1.6.1.4 Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- 1.6.1 (1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
- 1.7 Aron Peacebringer
- 1.8 S. V. Skynx
- 1.9 Jai Maruk
- 1.10 Invincible
- 1.11 Renz
- 1.12 Flame-colored robes
- 1.13 Belaya
- 1.14 Atrisi system
- 1.15 Suljo Warde
- 1.16 Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant
- 1.17 Tobler Ceel/Legends
- 1.18 New Centrif
- 1.19 Jay
- 1.20 Oseon 2795
- 1.21 S.T. Bende
- 1.22 Anj Zavor
- 1.23 Bakkar
- 1.24 Abhean/Legends
- 1.25 XoXaan (Redux review)
- 1.26 Parrlay
- 1.27 Drolen Antig
- 1.28 Wrobie Tyce
- 1.29 Antipose
- 1.30 Darth Bane
This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.
The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.
In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.
Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.
A Featured article must…
- …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
- …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
- …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
- …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
- …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
- …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
- …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
- …have no redlinks.
- …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
- …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
- …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
- …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
- …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
- …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
How to nominate:
- Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fourteen requirements stated above.
- Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
- Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
- Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
- Purge the article to update the template.
- Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
- The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
- Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
- Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
- Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.
How to review:
- To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
- The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
- Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
- Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
- If a nomination has been active for over one week and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes. Alternatively, if a nomination is between two and seven days old and has no active objections, it can pass with a total of seven Inquisitorius votes.
- Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination, tag the article with the {{Top|fa}} template, tag its talk page with the {{FA}} template, and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.
Note: Reduxed articles require only four support votes to maintain their Featured status, all of which must come from Inquisitors. Reduxed articles will be subject to immediate removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.
Featured article nominations
View recent changes for this page and its subpages
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Unidentified Trade Federation base
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:00, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Screw it, I will max out all my possible nominations until I get too busy for editing regularly
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Good job! ~ D MCCG (chat) 23:33, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
- Reviewed on Discord. Note that I have given Code until 2030 to finish Operation Galactic Battlegrounds. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:32, 10 May 2021 (UTC)
- DwartiiDelver (talk) 22:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
- Well done.--Liverpool92 15:30, 27 May 2021 (UTC)
- The T-Feds were gonna call it Buttercup Acres, but Qui-Gon leveled it before they could erect the sign. OtterSurf (talk) 10:25, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:17, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 22:32, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 14:30, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Dwartii
In the final paragraph of the History section, there are two back-to-back sentences that begin with "With". I think it'd be preferable to try and change one of these so it's not quite as repetitive.DwartiiDelver (talk) 03:33, 14 May 2021 (UTC)- Of course. Done. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:20, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
BTS can use a paragraph break for sure.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:34, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:14, 8 September 2021 (UTC)
Imp
Similarly to the Battle for Alaris Prime article, the quote captions should specify who is QGJ talking to.Imperators II(Talk) 09:43, 25 October 2021 (UTC)- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:50, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Is the base actually ever explicitly identified as a settlement? I feel like a settlement and a military base should not be treated as equivalent by default.- It is not, but the definition of a settlement according to Google is "a place, typically one which has previously been uninhabited, where people establish a community." Mileage may vary on whether droids can constitute a community but I think this location still fits that description, especially given that the base also has farms.
- Okay, the farms bit does convince me.
- It is not, but the definition of a settlement according to Google is "a place, typically one which has previously been uninhabited, where people establish a community." Mileage may vary on whether droids can constitute a community but I think this location still fits that description, especially given that the base also has farms.
I believe that the fact that the Wookiees secured control over Alaris Prime and that the Battle for Alaris Prime was the final battle of the conflict are both intro-exclusive; in the body you only note the Wookiees' intention to prevail in the conflict and them being victorious in the battle.- Done
Seems like something is missing after "Trade Federation": "the Wookiees constructed a base near the Trade Federation and orchestrated"- Fixed
"grass-covered" makes it sound like the base was completely overgrown with grass, can you rephrase this? Perhaps say that the base was constructed in a cleared patch of grassland or something like that?- Done
"The southern face of the wall had a gate from which a path led south to the river and was accessible by a ford." — I'm not entirely sure what "was accessible by a ford" refers to here? The path, or the gate? Maybe you can reword this to clarify?- Done
Could you perhaps try and restructure the Description so that each paragraph more or less talks about some specific aspect of the base? I could see having paragraphs on the topographical description, natural resources, and the buildings and infrastructure, for example. As it is right now, the paragraphs kind of mix what they're talking about, with a somewhat awkward paragraph break in between several sentences on natural resources.- Best I could come up with was to reorder it to have a paragraph on military buildings and another on resources and storage centers
I'd like to see some context for mynocks. Definitely the part about them being parasites that posed a threat technological structures, and possibly the fact that they were mostly unable to survive outside of the vacuum of space, with the exception of some variants.- Their threat to technology has no consequence in the game, they're only present as a food source, so I don't see how mentioning it is relevant. Added the variant bit
- You don't really have to look at it from the OOU perspective of what's important to the gameplay. The CSWE entry says mynocks fed on both energy and silica and other minerals, and The New Essential Guide to Alien Species says this about planetary variants of mynocks: "These creatures pose a particular problem for inhabited systems, as not just ships but also buildings, structures, livestock, and even humanoids sleeping outdoors are at risk." and even this for mynocks in general: "regardless of the variety, mynocks can pose a hazard regardless of their environment". Based on this, I think mynocks could definitely pose a potential problem to this base—which as far as we know was even staffed by droids—and that you should therefore note it in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:35, 13 December 2021 (UTC)
- You don't really have to look at it from the OOU perspective of what's important to the gameplay. The CSWE entry says mynocks fed on both energy and silica and other minerals, and The New Essential Guide to Alien Species says this about planetary variants of mynocks: "These creatures pose a particular problem for inhabited systems, as not just ships but also buildings, structures, livestock, and even humanoids sleeping outdoors are at risk." and even this for mynocks in general: "regardless of the variety, mynocks can pose a hazard regardless of their environment". Based on this, I think mynocks could definitely pose a potential problem to this base—which as far as we know was even staffed by droids—and that you should therefore note it in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 11:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Their threat to technology has no consequence in the game, they're only present as a food source, so I don't see how mentioning it is relevant. Added the variant bit
A couple of instances of redundant-sounding wording: "The Wookiees established a settlement to the south of the Trade Federation settlement", "With their path clear, the ground forces, including bowcaster troopers and sentinel strike mechs, marched into the base to clear it out."- Done
Just to confirm: does Pekt really swear that he *can* profit? Or that he *will* profit?- The latter, updated.
Also, the article text is currently assuming that the reader is necessarily familiar with the context of Trandoshans pelting Wookiees for specific cultural reasons, which is not all a reasonable assumption, in my opinion.- The cultural elements aren't quite relevant, Pekt's just out to make a buck, I added a bit more in his first mention so the pelt thing doesn't come out of left field so much
Ugh, could you please clarify the base's topography to me? Which side is northward in the infobox image? Right now, from comparing the text in the Description section and the image it seems like the cardinal directions are inverted relative to the real-world system, i.e., it seems like "south" is positive 90 degrees away from "west".- It's straight cardinal directions, I've adjusted the wording in a couple of spots that may have been confusing
Similarly, how many gates exactly does the base have? One, two? Is the "entrance" described in Description also a gate? And how many fords there? Right now, the sentence "The entrance could be accessed by a ford on the southern stretch of the river." makes it ambiguous as to whether there's one ford or two.Imperators II(Talk) 18:37, 13 November 2021 (UTC)- That other entrance is just a gap and there's just two fords, that rewording hopefully sorts it. I've ended up subsectioning the description section so I'll work on another quote and image when I'm less sleepy Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:34, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- Added an image but can't find another relevant quote. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:34, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- That other entrance is just a gap and there's just two fords, that rewording hopefully sorts it. I've ended up subsectioning the description section so I'll work on another quote and image when I'm less sleepy Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:34, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Just a note on the history quote, I can't find that exact audio file that matches what appears in the level, there's one that matches the quote almost entirely with the small difference of calling the fortress a "government center." If anyone else with the game can find the proper one in case it's just my version being weird, that would be great. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 14:22, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:30, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Fideltin Rusk
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 03:54, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Nice to have you back, Cade. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:42, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
- Great job. OtterSurf (talk) 11:28, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
- Return of the compansion FAs. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
- Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:38, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:59, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:39, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:59, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
CC-8
Current standards favour much shorter subsections due to the death of Monobook, which you can see throughout other current noms or recent FAs.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 04:16, 7 June 2021 (UTC)- Per discussion on Discord the recommendations were that sectioning should follow natural divisions of content, so I guess the ones in the biography section are okay. I was going to suggest subsectioning the Bts but I can't find a break that wouldn't only leave one paragraph behind. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
If commander is not given as his actual rank those links should pipelink to Commanding officer/Legends instead.- Done.
Time on Hoth: May be my weary eyes but I can't tell which decade is being referred to in the first sentence- Updated the Mindor/end of war stuff in the paragraph above, and the paragraph below, to include dates.
Neither of his parents are currently linked.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:30, 8 June 2021 (UTC)The exact date behind the year isn't necessary per the Layout Guide.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:58, 14 June 2021 (UTC)I think describing the info given from the encyclopedia in the Bts is unnecessary.I'll have to check some youtube videos later, are there notable differences in how Rusk interacts with the player in Fallen Empire if they're continuing playing as the Jedi Master as opposed to other classes?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:46, 22 June 2021 (UTC)- Nothing too special. Doesn't talk much about the time jump. Cade Calrayn 14:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
- "Stars, it's good to see your face. Sorry about the undignified welcome. They don't make leashes tight enough for this lot."
- "I'm glad to see you too. It seems like you've climbed the ranks since I've been gone."
- "There are very few people who would choose this command, but I'm honored to shoulder the burden for the good of the Republic."
- Nothing too special. Doesn't talk much about the time jump. Cade Calrayn 14:15, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
Watching some videos and it seems that the Commander gets a tip off to find Rusk from Bey'wan Aygo and chews out a soldier named Merghal, which can be added to the bio, and the mission the player can undertake for Rusk should go in the bts too.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:50, 25 June 2021 (UTC)- Added mention of the dialogue, but the mission's already mentioned in the BTS, unless you're referring to something else. Cade Calrayn 15:29, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
- By mission I meant what the player has to do on Nar Shaddaa to recruit Rusk. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 02:27, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
- Added mention of the dialogue, but the mission's already mentioned in the BTS, unless you're referring to something else. Cade Calrayn 15:29, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
Vergence
"None" shouldn't be listed as a hair color.- Done.
The page is currently in the error category Category:TOR dates usages without act argument.VergenceScatter (talk) 04:46, 12 June 2021 (UTC)I think that Cross of Glory could use a bit of context.Where was Rusk first identified as Fideltin? The article says that TOR simply calls him "Sergeant Rusk."VergenceScatter (talk) 03:23, 22 June 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Straight off the bat, I want to see more sectioning employed in the article. I'm also noticing empty space that can use more images (which btw look pretty small to me currently). Since this is a video game subject, I hope images won't be an issue. More to come after this is done.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:15, 25 October 2021 (UTC)- sectioned; working on images and quotes. Cade Calrayn 17:48, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Aaand done. 16:15, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
- Anything for the BTS? It's currently six completely unsectioned paragraphs. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:27, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
- Broke it into two, though they're uneven, but that's the only organic way to split the content. Cade Calrayn 23:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
- Final thing: Is there a suitable image for that last section (e.g. if Rusk in a different outfit)? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:10, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added one from the Holonet. May change it later from one on a later playthrough. Cade Calrayn 04:00, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- The caption should always be more than just "This is the character." UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:48, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Have you decided on what to use? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:51, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
- The caption should always be more than just "This is the character." UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:48, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added one from the Holonet. May change it later from one on a later playthrough. Cade Calrayn 04:00, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
- Final thing: Is there a suitable image for that last section (e.g. if Rusk in a different outfit)? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:10, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Broke it into two, though they're uneven, but that's the only organic way to split the content. Cade Calrayn 23:23, 24 November 2021 (UTC)
- Anything for the BTS? It's currently six completely unsectioned paragraphs. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:27, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
Do we really need the parentheses next to infobox affiliations? Generally, the specific affiliation is listed regardless of the duration and circumstances.I really think the intro's third paragraph can be split up; it currently takes up half the screen on my end.I advise caution againt using such words so as not to conflict with a neutral point of view, even if they may be supported by the cited sources: "However, they fought valiantly against overwhelming odds and escaped successfully with the prisoners".Having gone through "Early career," I can see a clean split between the four paragraphs, since the latter half discusses his service and reputation. Another quote can be added if available.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:56, 9 January 2022 (UTC)I want to confirm that the context for the locations is supported by those cited sources i.e. planet Hoth.UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:56, 23 January 2022 (UTC)Issue with "A new assignment"'s third paragraph: Much of it is not written from Rusk's perspective, when it should be as he is the subject of the article. For example, this has nothing to do with Rusk specifically "Carsen had resisted the Emperor's control thanks to her experience as his servant before, and she was more than ready to escape with her Master." I'm also seeing this issue from that point in the article forward e.g. "the Hero and crew" should ideally be something like "Rusk and his allies."- Rewritten that paragraph, and switched up some of the wording elsewhere.
Tol Braga should be introduced as Kel Dor on his first mention if you intend to refer to him by his species throughout the article.- Removed.
Some of the quote attributions need elaboration, especially when the quote has other people involved e.g. the one under "A new assignment."- Done.
Context for Nar Shaddaa.- Done.
Would like "Personality and traits"'s second paragraph broken up, it takes up more than half the screen for me in the un-expanded view.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:27, 5 February 2022 (UTC)- Done.
"Skills and abilities" section is definitely warranted, after seeing descriptions such as "a determined and skilled commander with years of experience" and "mindset of statistical efficiency."UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:30, 5 February 2022 (UTC)I don't believe it's necessary to document the traits of a species on the pages for every single member of the species, so I think the info cited to Ultimate Alien Anthology needs to go.Please remove the reference to the CT, as this is not a practice that is employed anymore; the assumption by the article can stand on its own. There is also unsourced information in that paragraph; the bit regarding Rusk's companion status.UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:48, 20 February 2022 (UTC)- "Working with the Jedi" and "Personality and traits" have the same quote.
After going through the quotes again, "Working with the Jedi," "Confronting the Maw," and "Equipment"'s quotes involve other people, so the attributions should make it clear who they are as well.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:28, 11 March 2022 (UTC)- Both done. Cade Calrayn 22:46, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- No edits were made. UberSoldat93 (talk) 03:15, 26 March 2022 (UTC)
- Both done. Cade Calrayn 22:46, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
- (Review note): I went ahead and increased the image sizes even more. From one old Wook soul to another, it took a while for the large image size trend to grow on me, and I thought it looked gaudy for years, so I'm sure it'll be the same for you. haha
- (Review note): "Among" is preferred over "amongst" in American English.
For ref 11, are we really assuming as the last sentence states? Seems like we have a lot of reasoning to say it definitely does take place in that timeframe.MasterFred(talk) 00:07, 14 November 2021 (UTC)- We have a definitive date for the fall of the Treaty (middle of 3641) but most of the Act II class content takes place before the Treaty collapse, and there are unclear time jumps between Acts 2-3. Not like anyone's ever gonna tell us otherwise, but that's why TORdates is written that way. Cade Calrayn 20:15, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Something seems to be wrong with ref 36.MasterFred(talk) 06:53, 22 November 2021 (UTC)One last thing: the parentheses in the fourth paragraph of the Bts can be removed and the text worked into the prose.MasterFred(talk) 10:01, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
SE
"While Rusk was acquitted each time and given a medal" did he get a medal after each acquittal, or just a single medal overall?- As far as I remember, it's that he got a medal each time.
"and she wanted to set a trap for him at the site of the shuttle." What shuttle? I'm presuming the one mentioned earlier in the article?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:34, 17 December 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Their mission completed, the six were awarded the prestigious medal" — this is the only instance where the Hero's number of companions is given, so readers unfamiliar with the game might not know what you're referring to here"Although the threat of the Emperor was ended, the galaxy was still consumed in war, so the Hero and crew continued to travel from planet to planet aboard their ship, aiding those in need." A more specific citation should be used for this lineOOM 224 19:08, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- Note to self: Continue from "Time on Hoth." UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:57, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
- "A new assignment" UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:57, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
- Personality and traits. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:27, 5 February 2022 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:00, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Dromund Kaas operation
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:08, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Resubmitting this one; it was removed by Tope because of my absence and some unconfirmed changes (which I've since reviewed and am fine with)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:02, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:07, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
- A very absorbing read, and well-done! Minnabird (talk) 03:15, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:22, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
- I read this yesterday and forgot to support, really great stuff. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:13, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 03:38, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 03:26, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 14:54, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
CC-8 operation
The intro says that the galaxy at large believed the Emperor's death, but later on says that it was secret for two years.- Clarified.
The prelude and galaxy at large could use an image, and the operation could do with subsectioning- Images added, but there's really no place to subsection, as I'd have to put it in the middle of the GameLS section - which needs to be grouped because it's all about the same part of the event - or at the start of it, and that leaves a 2-paragraph part preceding it.
Is Scourge's vision of the Hero standing over the Emperor not technically an appearance for this event?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:49, 22 June 2021 (UTC)Is it clear why the Hero couldn't be controlled by the Emperor?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 12:33, 7 July 2021 (UTC)I think a line about where the Emperor hibernated after the operation would be relevant, and would a description of his ultimate fate be taking it too far?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:21, 9 July 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Infobox:
Can you specify the actual source with the holomessage in Ref 2?- Done.
The infobox has the only dual reference in the article. Is it necessary to have two sources cited there?- Fixed.
In "Casualties," can you be more specific than just "Moderate" or "Heavy"? What kind of losses did both sides endure?- It's unclear, as the player only sees a small part of the fight. We don't get any info on the space battle beyond the general "taken losses" and that the Imperial forces on the ground encountered by the Hero's crew are defeated.
Main body:
Second intro paragraph can definitely use a break.Images can be enlarged."With that discovery, the seeds of rebellion were sown." Without context, this has a very unencyclopedic tone.- Clarified.
BTS:
Per Layout Guide, more precise release dates for Revan (also missing author) and the TOR game are needed.- Revan, yes, but I was under the impression that "2011" was sufficient for TOR.
- They're needed because both sources came out in the same year, as stated in the section linked above. Also, can Revan's full date be sourced to the novel? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- All of these are done. Cade Calrayn 23:09, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- Sourcing not fixed. UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:39, 9 August 2021 (UTC)
- All of these are done. Cade Calrayn 23:09, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- They're needed because both sources came out in the same year, as stated in the section linked above. Also, can Revan's full date be sourced to the novel? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- Revan, yes, but I was under the impression that "2011" was sufficient for TOR.
Some of the BTS's first paragraph feels unnecessary since you've already detailed what happened after the operation in the Aftermath section.- Trimmed.
Per ample precedent, assumptions by the article should not be relegated to reference notes and instead should be detailed in the BTS itself.- Done.
Add Revan and Annihilation audiobooks to Appearances.- Done.
Reviewing note: Please see this Manual of Style clause: "But do not link individual words within proper compound nouns (examples: Death Star, Azure Dianoga Cantina, Galactic Empire, Bantha-class assault shuttle)".UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:32, 10 July 2021 (UTC)- Are there any left, or did you remove them all? This was written a while ago but I'll keep that in mind. Cade Calrayn 15:53, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- I removed them wherever I saw them, but it would be good to go over it again just in case. UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:40, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
- Are there any left, or did you remove them all? This was written a while ago but I'll keep that in mind. Cade Calrayn 15:53, 20 July 2021 (UTC)
Are there any ships that can be clearly seen in the battle? They can be documented under "Strength" in the infobox, and in the body.I'd like to see some sectioning done to Prelude. I can see a split between the stuff the Emperor did and the Galactic War breaking out. I also want to see some more context for that section's image caption. There is also space for another image and another quote after sectioning."The operation" desperately needs some sectioning, a split between the planning phase and paragraphs covered by GameLS will suffice.First image's caption in "Aftermath" can benefit from more elaboration.1stID missing from Appearances, since the BTS makes it clear the name does not come from Revan.UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:10, 22 August 2021 (UTC)One last thing, can you add an image to the BTS? Either the cover of Revan or TOR will do.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:28, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
Minnabird
Should 3640 BBY be linked in the body, even if on "around a year later"? Right now it's linked only in infobox, intro, and references.Do we know why Scourge betrayed the Emperor? Is it just that it was fate? What does he tell the player character?"he detected that one of the Hero's companions was about to be overwhelmed by Imperial Guard reinforcements nearby" Do we know how he detected it? were there like, cameras? If he just said "they're about to be overwhelmed!" and we don't know how he knows it's fine as-is."He scoffed at the Hero's claim that they would open his eyes to the way of the Jedi by taking him to Tython, arguing that, by doing so, the Hero clung to Tol Braga's old ambitions, ignoring their true desires." Not 100% clear what's happening here. What are Tol Braga's old ambitions/how are they relevant or how would the player character react to them? Whose true desires? I also don't think "by doing so" really connects well to the thing it's supposed to describe; the phrase suggests it's referring back to a verb, which I think is supposed to be "claim," but that's used as a noun in the sentence? If that makes any sense at all. Basically: didn't revise this sentence because I'm not 100% sure how to do so.Do we know who Admiral Dabrin is? He turns up for the award ceremony seemingly without context. Minnabird (talk) 02:48, 12 August 2021 (UTC)
OOM
I've just started Chapter 3 for the Jedi Knight storyline, so I'll skip reviewing the parts on the operation itself for now.- Firstly (I don't know the exact details of the mission yet), I'm not sure if the article needs to provide so much context about Vitiate's rise to power—in particular, the whole of the first two paragraphs seem to be irrelevant. For example, in Race against doomsday, "as he had Nathema" is a nice way to link back to the ritual, but it can just be removed along with the first two paragraphs.
- "rendering him immortal and granting him immense strength in the Force" — I'd say it's better to swap these around since immortality is a part of increased power.
- I've noticed some missing links (e.g. Living Force/Legends, Sith Emperor, Millennium/Legends) in the two paragraphs, so you might want to look over the article again and add links where appropiate.
- Since the fates of Revan and Scourge are mentioned, you may as well say that the Exile was killed.
- You can mention how the Jedi came to know that the Emperor was planning a ritual to consume the whole galaxy in Race against doomsday.
- All of the above are done.
- BTS: I don't see the significance of mentioning Chancellor Saresh's announcement in the first paragraph.
- It's a major plot point of the post-game, that the Empire and the Republic don't know of the Emperor's defeat. It's why they're in confusion at Ilum, and why Malgus breaks from the Empire, and it's kept as a secret (but rumored) until Makeb.
- "fighting the Emperor in the Dark Temple in its summary of the Jedi Knight class storyline" — You can cut down on the detail here. At this point, reader only needs to know that the Dromund Kaas operation is depicted in the book. OOM 224 18:48, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Actually, I think that last paragraph should be removed entirely. Sample player characters are now frequently used on swtor.com and their social media posts, and since the fact that images of sample player characters are non-canonical doesn't have anything to do with the Dromund Kaas operation itself, the information here can just be moved to the Hero of Tython article, à la The Barsen'thor#Character identity and customization. OOM 224 10:58, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Removed.
Per this and now this, you can make the wording here less awkward by using gender-neutral pronouns for the player character.OOM 224 10:58, 6 November 2021 (UTC)- Review note: made some changes to one of the references OOM 224 21:44, 19 January 2022 (UTC)
Does the game ever capitalise "Temple" on its own? There's an inconsistency regarding the capitalisation in the intro.- I've lowercased Temple to be safe.
Context needed for Belsavis, Voss, and Corellia in the body. A separate ref might be needed if Doomsday doesn't refer to them as worlds or planets. Same for Kaas City as the Imperial capital.- Done. Kaas City is indeed referred to as the capital.
Given the quoted commands, do we know what happened to Manaan and Ord Mantell? Context is needed there as well.- No, there's no followup on those quotes, and I'd disagree on the need for context as they're explicit quotes and I shouldn't modify them, and I don't need to follow them with "Manaan and Ord Mantell were planets"
- Readers won't know the significance of those commands if they don't know that they were planets, so context is necessary. To avoid awkward language, you can say something to the effect of "In his pain and anger, the Emperor gave crazed and conflicting commands to his children regarding the treatment of entire planets." OOM 224 19:22, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- No, there's no followup on those quotes, and I'd disagree on the need for context as they're explicit quotes and I shouldn't modify them, and I don't need to follow them with "Manaan and Ord Mantell were planets"
"When one of their number, Dread Master Styrak, was slain on the planet Darvannis, the remaining five sank into insanity and decided to destroy the galaxy; they were ultimately defeated at the moon of Oricon." — this part isn't really relevant. Mentioning that the Dread Masters were defeated is enough. A timeframe for their rise and fall would be helpful though.- I would argue that it is relevant, as it's a galactic threat specifically instigated by the fall of the Emperor. As for timeframe, it occurs immediately after the Makeb invasion, that's why I placed it there.
Do we know whether Vaylin was the Emperor's only biological daughter?OOM 224 12:56, 27 February 2022 (UTC)I think it would be better to move the part about the Emperor's final death (3626 BBY) to after the very last sentence about Vaylin.OOM 224 19:22, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
Imp
It's a bit awkward that {{TOR dates/4}}, which also dates the somewhat-unconnected Battle of Ilum, is only used for dating the 3640 BBY date for "Doomsday". Can you instead replace that with a manual ref note that 1) only uses one of the two sources mentioned in that template, 2) explicitly mentions the Dromund Kaas operation and/or the "Doomsday" mission, and 3) does not mention the Battle of Ilum?Imperators II(Talk) 13:36, 9 January 2022 (UTC)- Ilum is directly connected, as the operation is the inciting factor for Malgus's betrayal at Ilum. I've added more detail to the ref note; the Encyclopedia specifically puts Ilum in 3640 and that's why it's needed to be mentioned. Cade Calrayn 18:26, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
- In the new date reference, you should note per which source does Ilum follow Dromund Kaas. And while you're at it, you should also be consistent in referencing between the infobox and the article body: I see no reason why the fact that Dromund Kaas was followed by Ilum is sourced to a TOR mission in the infobox but to Annihilation in the text. Imperators II(Talk) 07:48, 12 February 2022 (UTC)
- Ilum is directly connected, as the operation is the inciting factor for Malgus's betrayal at Ilum. I've added more detail to the ref note; the Encyclopedia specifically puts Ilum in 3640 and that's why it's needed to be mentioned. Cade Calrayn 18:26, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:54, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Sajar
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:32, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Another former Featured Article; ecks's objections from the review have been satisfied.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:31, 13 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 11:35, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:53, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
- DwartiiDelver (talk) 20:14, 8 August 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 23:22, 22 December 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:11, 14 January 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:47, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
You're in Category:TOR dates usages without act argument, whatever that means.- Done.
Can 3653 BBY actually be sourced to ref 1?- Resourced.
Could use an equipment section to discuss his lightsaber and clothing, which is currently being done in skills and abilities.- Ehhhh.... done, but frankly it looks rather terrible separate from the P&T.
Spaces should be replaced by underscores in filenames (e.g. [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]] instead of [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).- Done.
The first P+T paragraph can probably be split into two, it's quite large.- Done.
Some context for Nar Shaddaa in the Bts would be nice.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:46, 10 June 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Could use an image in the second bio section.I think we should avoid using the word "this" outside of the Bts.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:43, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
Imp
Since Blood of the Empire Act 3 doesn't feature Sajar, ref 4 should specify what exactly establishes that he was a Dark Councilor following the comic's events.- Hmmm, actually, there's no good way to word it, so I've removed it entirely - basically, we know that he served on the Council sometime *after* 3678 BBY, because the Children were first created then, but honestly that's not enough to necessitate a mention, as he could've served any time in the next 25 years before the war ended.
Is there any way to further split up the "Incident on Quesh" section? As it is right now, with the right rail module enabled it takes up an entire one-and-a-half screen on my machine.Imperators II(Talk) 11:26, 15 November 2021 (UTC)- Ehhh... I could put one before the gamemechanics but that looks.... rough to me and rather short. Cade Calrayn 20:13, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Trust me, in this age of internet reading and short attention spans, it's better to have a passage slightly on the short side than one that stretches for more than an entire screen. Imperators II(Talk) 20:15, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Ehhh... I could put one before the gamemechanics but that looks.... rough to me and rather short. Cade Calrayn 20:13, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Is there any appropriate image for the "Wrath and forgiveness" section?- Nothing on hand, and that's a little too close to the big Sajar image in P&T for my comfort. Cade Calrayn 16:40, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
- I see. Conversely, note also that the "Equipment" section is borderline too short to support the image of the lightsaber, which you don't really describe in that much detail in the article anyway—might consider cutting the image. Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
- Nothing on hand, and that's a little too close to the big Sajar image in P&T for my comfort. Cade Calrayn 16:40, 7 December 2021 (UTC)
You've got two consecutive identical refs in the second paragraph of "Early life". Imperators II(Talk) 09:48, 4 December 2021 (UTC)The last thing from me, I believe: "Gundo's scouts captured several Imperial scouts" — can you reword this to avoid the somewhat-awkward repetition? And also, it's not immediately clear whether the "scouts" here refers to Gundo's scouts or the Imperial ones: "but the scouts angered the Padawan".Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
I think the birth refs in the infobox should be combined into a note so that the reader knows why that specific year is mentioned.For some of those quotes, is Sajar speaking to anyone? The attribution would benefit from that information.- Imp has informed me that there's not really a precedent for doing this all the time, so striking this one. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:31, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
Currently there's no context for Quesh.- I know you won't like this, but does the ref support Quesh being a planet? UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:48, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
- Confirmed with OOM. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:46, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
- I know you won't like this, but does the ref support Quesh being a planet? UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:48, 7 January 2022 (UTC)
In the Adrenal Research Base image caption, can you add a bit more so that it's connected to Sajar?Is the Eighty-sixth Infantry also referred to as the "86th"? Numbers shouldn't be used if not used by any source.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:13, 30 December 2021 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
In the second paragraph of the intro, you have two sentences that start with "However." Could you vary the wording a bit?MasterFred(talk) 07:38, 6 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:47, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Cade Calrayn|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Attack on Fondor
- Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:52, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First time doing a battle longer than CA length. I decided not to include info from "Destroyer Down" as the battle in that story is pretty much unrelated to this one.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AMB, WP:SWBF, WP:VG
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:48, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nicely done. DwartiiDelver (talk) 15:50, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- Great work, in my opinion! LucaRoR (talk) 17:19, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
- Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:31, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 21:16, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 12:14, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:20, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Average Battlefront enjoyer
Does the game say the Corvus is a Raider II specifically? Otherwise you should source that to the databank.Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:41, 5 June 2021 (UTC)- Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:50, 5 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Perhaps some context for Sentinel?I think you can add a {{Mediacat}}, no?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 13 June 2021 (UTC)- Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:06, 13 June 2021 (UTC)
Regular FA consumer
I don't think the outcome field in the infobox should be written in present tense, unless that's a precedent I've never noticed.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:23, 27 July 2021 (UTC)- There certainly is. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:27, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
Ratts
"…at Fondor Station within the Fondor Shipyards over the world Fondor…" can you reword or rearrange this? It's a bit repetitive.There's little mention of the dialogue between Iden and Raythe during the mission. While not all of it is relevant, they do discuss tactics that affect how the battle plays out, so I think that should be touched upon."As the battle progressed, Versio destroyed multiple fighters tailing Hask's TIE fighter." That's not necessarily true, since two of the fighters are scripted to crash during the chase scene, regardless if Iden shoots them or not. The player is only required to destroy one ship during this objective, being the A-wing.In the last paragraph of "Imperial victory," you should clarify that Iden destroys both the control tower and the docking arm, an order she initially objects to.RattsT (talk) 01:49, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Inferno Squad fought through rebel forces and fled the moon in TIE fighters" — I don't see how this is relevant to the article.- Not sure how else to explain Inferno Squad leaving the moon and splitting up. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:47, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
Similarly, I think you can cut down on the details about Meeko's mission to Pillio. The mission doesn't really tie in to what the Empire achieved at Fondor other than the fact that it's a part of Operation: Cinder that came right after the battle for Inferno Squad.OOM 224 12:38, 24 October 2021 (UTC)- Removed the outcome. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:47, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
Would it not be worth including Ralsius Paldora's mention of the attack in the article body?OOM 224 18:33, 26 October 2021 (UTC)- Sure. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:56, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Added info from "Destroyer Down" per discussion with other editors. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:28, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
- So, I'm not going to make this an objection, since I'm unsure of it, but I feel like the destroyer down section could start with "The Galactic Civil War returned to Fondor shipyards around 5 ABY when..." I feel like including that could explain to readers why its being recounted, since that's why we on the discord agreed it should be mentioned. Maybe this is just me so I'm framing this as a comment, not an objection, if anyone wants to weigh in feel free Editoronthewiki (talk) 19:13, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Updated with info from Emperor Palpatine. UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:31, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:48, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:UberSoldat93|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Revan
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 04:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: hehehehehehehehe. Hi there. Did ya miss me?
- Date Archived: 18:09, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 43415 words (881 introduction, 39956 body, 2578 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 43190 words (880 introduction, 39888 body, 2422 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR, WP:KOTOR
(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)
(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- D MCCG (chat) 03:06, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
- OtterSurf (talk) 10:03, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
- It'd be great for Legends Revan to return to FA status. —Tomotron (Star Forge) 06:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
- The man, the myth, the legend... Supreme Emperor Holocomm 18:02, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
-A Girl Has No Name 21:21, 15 December 2021 (UTC)(Vote struck per policy: General rules, item 3 -- DarthRuiz30 (talk) 22:01, 15 December 2021 (UTC))Editoronthewiki (talk) 05:21, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
- I need to do a more in depth review of this article, I'm sorry to alter my vote a year later Editoronthewiki (talk) 02:51, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
Please, bring Revan back. NhanTNTAlt (talk) 09:43, 31 October 2022 (UTC)(Vote struck per policy: General rules, item 3 -- Imperators II(Talk) 11:04, 21 November 2022 (UTC))
- AwesomeMutation (talk) 17:52, 21 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
Tomotron
Revan Mythologies, Czerka representative, Wookiee warrior and receptionist are redlinks.—Tomotron (Star Forge) 14:48, 12 June 2021 (UTC)Please check that all appearances and sources linked to a BBY date use the system, otherwise the dates will need a note.—Tomotron (Star Forge) 14:48, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
Vergence
Ahto City cantina is also a redlink.VergenceScatter (talk) 04:52, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
Braha'tok/Legends
Up to Rise of the Sith
"According to Mical, Revan returned to his first teacher in order to learn how to best leave the Jedi Order, though he did not follow through." You're trying to keep a trend of saying Revan is not named Revan yet, but this seems to be an anomaly.- Fixed.
"Outraged at the Jedi Council's refusal to involve the Order in the conflict, the young Jedi Knight began to move among the Order," What do you mean by "move among the order"?- Reworded.
Second and forth paragraphs of The Revanchist are too bloated. As is the forth paragraph of Fighting the Mandalorians and the final paragraph of Dark Lord of the Sith. Bisecting them accordingly is advised.- Done.
- You didn't do the final one I mentioned :P Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Blah I was asleep. lol.
- You didn't do the final one I mentioned :P Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
- Done.
"Alec and his followers" is used multiple times, but that format makes it sound like they could be Alec's followers.- Reworded.
"Shortly after the Adasca affair, the Taris Siege, and the bombardment of Jebble," the last two events are just passingly mentioned with no context and don't seem relevant to the narrative at all. I'd say it's better to not mention them at all.- Done.
"Anointing his new servants as Darth Revan and Darth Malak, the Dark Lords of the Sith, the Emperor sent them back to the Republic as a vanguard to his own invasion, ordering them to make use of the Rakatan Star Forge and to report back when they had crushed the Republic's resistance." The reintroduction of the Star Forge makes it look like the Sith suddenly had it, and then we find out that Revan is locating it after he searched a lil bit. I'd try and say from the start that Revan and Malak needed to locate and obtain the Star Forge.- Changed to "find and make use of"
"the two were taken captive by the native Black Rakata." The Black Rakata's article introduces them as a tribe, but the Revan article introduces them as if they're a species. Please revise.- added "tribe"
"When the Republic officer Saul Karath defected to Revan's forces, Revan eventually promoted Karath to commander of the entire Sith fleet. However, Malak ordered the Admiral to bombard the surface of the planet Telos IV with his flagship Leviathan," Is Karath the admiral? If so you should probably specify their (new?) rank in the first sentence.Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)You refer to the "Emperor" when Revan and Malak encounter the guy but I'm assuming that's Vitiate? If so, I think it would be better to keep using Vitiate's name rather than just the Emperor.- At this point in time, the Emperor was literally *only* known as the Emperor; he discarded his older names after leaving Nathema and didn't readopt others until the events of TOR.
You ok with these changes?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)"Revan quickly won a string of military victories, proving himself to a capable military leader," Proving himself to whom?"While Revan was a military genius who knew that the Republic's industrial might was the key to victory, […] "Moral shortcuts" became common under Revan and Malak's leadership, and the two Jedi developed a cold and calculating disposition unlike that of a Jedi; they matched the Mandalorians' brutal tactics with tactics just as merciless." If this is someone's point of view, that should be specified, because this feels to me like it flouts WP:NPOV a bit.- Cited - it comes from a lot of sources, like Warfare, but specifically the OOU Atlas and NEC.
You should specify that Foerost is a planet (or whatever the source says it is if the Foerost article is wrong).Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 12:37, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
Soldier of the Republic
"He also encountered a number of the building's inhabitants, such as the former waitress Dia,[39] who told Revan about how she was hiding out to avoid a bounty set by a man named Holdan after she rejected his advances." Advances being like an attempt at romance? Does the source clarify this?- Sexual/romantic, yes; that's what the phrase "rejected his advances" means.
"Taking their journals, Revan then discovered a sealed door that Vao unlocked with her security spikes. Upon finding Zaalbar within," Found him within what? What was the door to?- Zaalbar was behind the door. Clarified.
The article reads "While exploring the sewers, " and then "Before they headed down into the sewers," when I'm pretty sure they're still in the sewer. Do you mean like "Before they continued exploring the sewers" or am I missing something?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)"Since Revan's defeat, Malak had declared himself the new Dark Lord, taken control of the Sith Empire, and kept the Republic on the defensive." I'm assuming this is about the war in the last section, but it'd be good to clarify so to remind the reader of what already exists.- The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
- Done.
- The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
"However, they were barred from entering the Lower City…" This situation is sorta thrown in out of nowhere. You should Introduce the fact that they were trying to reach the Lower City because Shan's pod might be there, and then mention the Sith troopers barring their entry."but the two stayed where they were and decided to intervene when the commander threatened to kill the Aqualish if he failed to cooperate. After the three Sith were killed," I'd clarify that Revan and Onasi killed them by tweaking that last clause there."Revan purchased a pazaak deck from a man named Garouk and used it to defeat a player named Niklos." I feel that context is insufficient here. My recommendation is that the last bit is worded to say he played and defeated Niklos, the unofficial pazaak champion of Taris, at a pazaak game using the purchased card deck or something along those lines.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:59, 10 July 2021 (UTC)I am once again asking you to verify this copy-edit.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
Sectioning
You good with these changes?And these?Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Investigate/add audiobooks to app section.- Still missing one. Make sure that they follow WP:LG#Audiobooks as well. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:39, 17 June 2021 (UTC)
Non-canon appearances get their own subsection per LG.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:00, 16 June 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Arden Kae.- Done.
The Revanchist section could use another image- There aren't really any images of him from that period in time; I've shifted some images around and changed their size.
Many sections could use more subsectioning. These include: The Revanchist, Fighting the Mandalorians, To the Lower City and beyond, The sands of Tatooine, Into the Dune Sea, Into the Shadowlands, Legacy, and others as well—I'd suggest using those as examples of ones that are too long.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:05, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Is there any new information in this source?UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2021 (UTC)Is it possible to get a full headshot for the infobox instead of the current cropped one?UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:26, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
General
First order of busines, please reword any instances of "now" in in-universe text, as Star Wars took place a long time ago.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:04, 9 January 2023 (UTC)Please document the in-universe mentions in The New Essential Chronology, Jedi vs. Sith: The Essential Guide to the Force, The Jedi Path: A Manual for Students of the Force, and The Journal of Master Gnost-Dural.- Done.
- Ensure that Gnost-Dural and Tionne Solusar have context. Also, Voren only wrote an intro to NEC, he isn't the author (see Chrellis system). UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:59, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
- Done.
Succession box date referencing needs revamping; those dates need notes like they do in the body.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Infobox
Can we at least combine the birth date and location into a single note like we do for other character articles? I realize this won't be possible for the death info due to the nature of the TOR date template.Is it necessary to have two citations for gender? The body uses a separate source anyway.Would like to see the Jedipedia citation eliminated when there is canon material depicting his brown eyes.Referencing for physical traits at the very least should be consistent between the infobox and body.Not seeing the yellow eyes mentioned anywhere in the body.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Intro
"However, Revan was betrayed by his Sith apprentice Malak..." Malak's an apprentice now? The intro doesn't establish this clearly beforehand.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:04, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:20, 31 January 2023 (UTC)
Personality and traits
Please ensure there is a section heading at the beginning.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
BTS
Would like to see a section heading at the beginning.He's voiced by Spencer Garrett in Shadow of Revan per the credits. You will need to add this to the article and fill in the redlink.UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:47, 16 May 2023 (UTC)Also of note, he has dialogue in Echoes of Vengeance, but I believe the actor is uncredited, so that should also be mentioned here.UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:35, 17 May 2023 (UTC)Is it worth mentioning that his male and female actors in KOTOR are unspecified?UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:30, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Sources
Would like to see the individual cards from 2010 Topps Star Wars Galaxy Series 5 listed here instead of a single link to the whole set.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Marvac
Please mention in your bts section that Revan, when he was Darth Revan, has appeared as a lego minifigure in set number 5002123-1. Please see link for more info (this link will take you to the Brickset website), https://brickset.com/sets/5002123-1/Darth-Revan.Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:25, 2 August 2023 (UTC)- It's already listed in Sources and also has a sentence in the second paragraph of "Establishing continuity and other appearances". Cade Calrayn 14:28, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- Huh. Just found the reference to the lego minifigure. Sorry, last I checked, I couldn't find it. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:43, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- It's already listed in Sources and also has a sentence in the second paragraph of "Establishing continuity and other appearances". Cade Calrayn 14:28, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
OOM
Further subsectioning is needed in the body, especially for sections such as "The hunt for the mask," where there are dozens of paragraphs. Perhaps adding a few more images would help.- gah. blasted session expirations, I saved a reply here earlier. I've subsectioned, but quotes will take me a bit.
The portions of the BTS section before the "Countinuity issues" subsection should be subsectioned as well.- I disagree on the need, but done.
"Revan also appears in a vision to the player character, the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik, in the depths of Korriban's tombs." — I don't see the significance of this explained in the BTS.I don't think there's any need to mention the Revan novel in the BTS either.OOM 224 23:50, 12 March 2022 (UTC)- Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- I suppose that's fair, to mention that the character is the protagonist of the novel. I was more so concerned with whether this sentence is really necessary: "[the novel] explains what happened to Revan and the Exile after the events of the two games." On its own, the sentence doesn't really tell the reader much about the character himself. Perhaps the sentence should point out that Revan is the protagonist of the novel before adding what the novel is about? OOM 224 17:54, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
The images from "Warrior and Sith" on should be enlarged.MasterFred(talk) 00:36, 21 March 2022 (UTC)It gets confusing referring to him as "the future Revan" at the start of the bio. Should probably use different wording.MasterFred(talk) (he/him) 05:10, 4 April 2022 (UTC)In "Massacre on Cathar," does Knights of the Old Republic 42 actual confirm the Mandalorian as female, or does it just use she/her pronouns?Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 07:47, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Thrawn
Document in-universe mention in Book of Sith. -ThrawnChiss7 Assembly Cupola 14:49, 13 January 2023 (UTC)And in Industry, Honor, Savagery: Shaping the Mandalorian Soul. -ThrawnChiss7 Assembly Cupola 23:17, 13 January 2023 (UTC)
Lew
- I just want to confirm that any pronouns being used on the page are citable to the sources they are currently being cited to? Lewisr (talk) 16:26, 7 October 2023 (UTC)
- Drove by and saw this, I can confirm that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:34, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- I should also specify this refers to the first usage of pronouns regarding all characters and not just Revan himself. Looking through the history I didn't see an instance where cites for first pronouns usage was added since the new precedent change. Given the size of the page, it is impossible that not a single cite was needed to be added. I also know this to not be possible because I found an example in the very first paragraph of the biography. The page cites Kreia's pronounds to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, a game which she is not mentioned in or appears in, so it certainly should not be cited as a source for her pronouns Lewisr (talk) 06:47, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
- Drove by and saw this, I can confirm that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:34, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
Fan
- ("Freedom and fall") "The Cold War that followed began to collapse around 3642 BBY" I think this ought to be reworded to make it clear the Cold War was ending because the peace was collapsing; a Cold War 'collapsing' could just as easily mean a full detente a la the nineties IRL and not necessarily a resumption of hostilities. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
- ("Freedom and fall")"exterminating everyone with Sith ancestry." given that Sith of course refers to both the species and the order, this should make it clear that it's the species being referred to here. It's ofc implicit but given that confusion is inherently possible given the term's double meaning it should be clarified.
- ("Thwarting resurrection") Context for Kira Carsen and the Alliance Commander. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- Note to self, left off at Mandalorian Wars. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 15:27, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
- Fighting the Mandalorians Supreme Emperor Holocomm 15:52, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
- Inquisitors: see Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Revan/Legends/Inq. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:39, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Continue from Biography. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:05, 9 January 2023 (UTC)
- The Mandalorian Wars. UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:58, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- Per rule 6 of remaining stable during the review process, there is the upcoming KOTOR remake. Furthermore, there have been 8 sources added in the last year, 12 added in total since the nomination started. There are also 3 unaddressed objections from Fan from November 4th, as well as a stalled objection originally dated October 7th that hasn't been worked on since November 30th. Lewisr (talk) 18:05, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 18:06, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- Unstable, and remake is still listed on official sites.—spookywillowwtalk 18:07, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Aron Peacebringer
- Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:10, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Was killed a couple years ago for an update tag that actually had zero new information. Injustice!
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:COMICS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:48, 4 August 2021 (UTC)
- Still a better love story than Twilight... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 04:44, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:32, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 03:08, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- @Manoof anything is a better love story than Twilight :P VergenceScatter (talk) 07:23, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Great work, but please make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR (Talk) 08:33, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 09:55, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
All of the image sizes can be increased.Ref 4 needs {{Cite web}}.Please kill that relationships section. Feel free to incorporate it into P+T if you'd like.Release date (full) needed for Star Wars 53.3 ABY isn't sourced correctly.First paragraph of "Capture" can be split up.Trust me, more to come seeing as you weren't the original writer :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:19, 16 July 2021 (UTC)I don't think 2 ABY is sourced correctly either.The bio only mentions that he was born in the Shiva system and neglects to mention Shiva IV as the intro/infobox do.Intro should mention his species.All physical traits listed in the infobox are not mentioned in the body.Is there any reason he's referred to as Aron and not Peacebringer?"must be highly radioactive" is not exactly using past tense and can be reworded.Is an article needed for these T'Syriél stormtroopers? And what about his daughter that died?A bit more context for each of the Rebel reinforcements would be appreciated.Can you add a section header for the non-relationships bit of the P+T?Missing {{Mediacat}}.- (Review note) There was some significant underlinking in the article, if you're planning on restoring any more old FAs you'll want to check that before nominating. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:45, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
I don't think Leia should really get a relationships subsection—he was attracted to her but didn't really have a huge relationship with her.Missing skills and abilities section.Missing equipment section.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:22, 22 July 2021 (UTC)- These should be addressed.
Does the comics companion use ABY or ASW4? If the latter, you need to explain how that corresponds to ABY, such as how it's done here.Are any of the double refs really necessary?A little context for the Falcon, please.Lastly, the full date for the comic isn't self-sourcing; it needs a new ref.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:18, 27 July 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Please digitize the comic book images.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:51, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- Should be done. IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:43, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
- Infobox image should be at least 400px per Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:20, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'll be straight up with you: I don't know how to go in and resize it like that. Never been an image guy, to my shame. Any suggestions? IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:00, 25 October 2021 (UTC)
- No need to resize, try getting a larger crop from the same source. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:50, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- So that picture of Aron is from one where he's in the background, and I wasn't really able to get a larger crop. I just swapped it out with another picture, let me know what you think. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:02, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- That works. UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:37, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- So that picture of Aron is from one where he's in the background, and I wasn't really able to get a larger crop. I just swapped it out with another picture, let me know what you think. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:02, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- No need to resize, try getting a larger crop from the same source. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:50, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- I'll be straight up with you: I don't know how to go in and resize it like that. Never been an image guy, to my shame. Any suggestions? IFYLOFD (Talk) 22:00, 25 October 2021 (UTC)
- Infobox image should be at least 400px per Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:20, 14 October 2021 (UTC)
- Should be done. IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:43, 3 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm seeing space for more images, namely under "Encounter with an offworlder," "Capture," "Personality and traits," and "Skills and abilities." Usually 2 images are the norm for a 3-paragraph section (one at the beginning; one at the end for example), if there's enough space.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:17, 22 November 2021 (UTC)Duplicate ref in Capture's last paragraph.- Fixed.
This reads as if the assailant didn't in fact miss and landed the blow. "On reaching Organa, he found that she was safe, her assailant having nearly missed her before she turned the knife against the Imperial officer."- Changed.
Surely you can word this better to avoid the repeating the same word three times. "Peacebringer realized that Leia did not love him and never would; that realization allowed him to realize that he could live without her."- Hahahahahaha what a terrible sentence. Fixed.
Context for Lando Calrissian.- Added.
A regular Imperial Star Destroyer I'm assuming? "However, the ball was interrupted by the arrival of an Imperial Star Destroyer in orbit."- Appears to be. Want me to specify?
- Yes please, and link to that specific model (whether it's an Imperial I or II). UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- Appears to be. Want me to specify?
Inconsistent capitalization: "warlord" and "Warlord."- Made it consistent.
Equipment is the first time you mention a "saber," when only "sword" is used before this.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:44, 29 November 2021 (UTC)- Fixed.
I personally don't like how the intro begins. Usually in formal writing, we don't need to point out a character's biggest achievement right at the start e.g. "Darth Vader was the most feared Sith Lord in the galaxy" or "Luke Skywalker was the hero of the Rebellion." This is already sitewide precedent.UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:47, 29 November 2021 (UTC)- Better? IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:55, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- Much better. UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- Better? IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:55, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
Let's see a break in "Battling the Empire"'s second paragraph; it currently takes up more than half the screen on my monitor.UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:18, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
Manoof
Just check this update is ok, needed to understand that section a bit more so just did it. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:38, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Good to go.
Skills and abilities - can we mention his piloting skills? Great read! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:38, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
Some small context for Jain Havero upon his first mention would be nice.MasterFred(talk) 12:28, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
SE
Is there an article for the destruction of K'avor?- Linked
Is there anything specific to Calian sword combat that would make it article worthy?- Not that I can really tell, and there aren't any specific details about it anywhere that I've found.
Are any of the death cults named, or is it just a general mention of cults?- Nope, none named.
"Peacebringer signaled the Rebel princess and staged a diversion" What was the diversion?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 00:07, 6 February 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:05, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Note to self: Continue full review from "Capture." UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:18, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
- Reviewing note: Take care with missing links. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:46, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:IFYLOFD|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
S. V. Skynx
- Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Love this little weird ass alien boy
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:05, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
- Lookin' good. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:12, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
- I agree with the comment above. Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:36, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:59, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
- Good work. UberSoldat93 (talk) 03:53, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 03:58, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
- Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:10, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
Object
Erebus
Currently, the first Biography paragraph is a giant run-on sentence without pauses. Please fix.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:12, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Date needs a new ref.One last audiobook is missing.Context for Obroa-skai and Rudrig?Do you think we need a page for the Human History department or Department of History?I think that explaining Gallandro's grudge would be helpful, if such details are available.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:58, 15 August 2021 (UTC)Any reason you're not mentioning the dialogue between Skynx and Solo as described in the quote of "An unexpected journey"?- Didn't seem relevant to me. All he's doing is describing the Queen of Ranroon, which is covered when I introduce the ship. Not every line of dialogue needs to be detailed in the body, necessarily.
Also not seeing anything in the body about his goodbye exchange with Solo.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:47, 19 August 2021 (UTC)If Cat Staggs is indeed the designer of the image as File:Professor Skynx.jpg suggests, it should be documented somewhere.- Done.
The bit about being a musician would be better suited for a "Skills and abilities" section.- Added.
There's room for an image in the P+T.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:17, 3 November 2021 (UTC)- What do you suggest? I usually like to use photos of the character for those, but we only have the one. IFYLOFD (Talk) 05:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Maybe one of Ruuria? In order to connect it to the P+T text, we can do something like, "Skynx was a Ruurian from the planet Ruuria (pictured)". Thoughts? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:11, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- What do you suggest? I usually like to use photos of the character for those, but we only have the one. IFYLOFD (Talk) 05:08, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay, last couple things: "Corellian" is infobox-exclusive.- It's not in the infobox?
- Oops, meant the intro. In any case, added the link myself.
- It's not in the infobox?
Context for Ammuud.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:39, 29 December 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
You use both "simple-minded" and "mindless" to describe chroma-wing. These two terms mean different things.Can you spell out the "Celebratus Archive" instead of using a pipelink?I would rather you use an image of Han Solo that looks less "cluttered" with other things in it."Skynx's years of study made him one of the most well-known "Ximologists" in the galaxy[2] and resulted in a unique collection of artifacts..." Resulted in what? What's happening with the artifacts?- Still unclear. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
- Not sure how it's unclear? "...his collection of a unique assortment of artifacts," He collected them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Reworded slightly, I hope it's still accurate to the source material. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Not sure how it's unclear? "...his collection of a unique assortment of artifacts," He collected them. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Still unclear. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
"Human History" can get an article of its own, seeing as we have articles on departments of organizations. "Emeritus Chair" can also get one."Skynx and his compatriots were subsequently rendered unconscious by a mysterious force and awoke in a prison cell, with the two droids gone." What is this "mysterious force"? It needs to be clarified, you're writing in an encyclopedic manner.Per policy, the CSWE template should not be used in Sources.UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:56, 14 September 2021 (UTC)I would like you to reword certain bits of the article that have rather florid language, such as "While Solo was disappointed at the lack of gold and gems, it was an archaeologist's dream find...." Stuff like this doesn't fit the encyclopedic tone that we're going for.UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:26, 24 September 2021 (UTC)- Listen, I understand what you're going for here, but I have to push back here. I don't think there's anything wrong with wording like that. I'm describing what it was and how it was described in the source material. We have different writing styles, but that doesn't make mine wrong, and I'm not going to rewrite the entire article because you have a different view of what an "encyclopedic" writing style is. I hate to pull this card, but I think I've been around, writing status articles, long enough to know what is and what isn't proper tone. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- I never said your writing style is flat out "wrong," just that, from my point of view, the wording doesn't satisfy a neutral point of view. If you still feel strongly about your point though, I'll drop the objection. UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:54, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
- Listen, I understand what you're going for here, but I have to push back here. I don't think there's anything wrong with wording like that. I'm describing what it was and how it was described in the source material. We have different writing styles, but that doesn't make mine wrong, and I'm not going to rewrite the entire article because you have a different view of what an "encyclopedic" writing style is. I hate to pull this card, but I think I've been around, writing status articles, long enough to know what is and what isn't proper tone. IFYLOFD (Talk) 14:44, 25 September 2021 (UTC)
Does The New Essential Chronology not support everything that The Essential Chronology does?- I'm not sure what you're asking. There's no real differences. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:50, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Then please cite the former book in place of the latter. Current precedent is to cite the latest edition of a book since it is presumably the most accessible version. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm not sure what you're asking. There's no real differences. IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:50, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
They are also in-universe documents to my knowledge, so the mentions of Skynx in them should be documented here.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:20, 13 March 2022 (UTC)- Mentioned. IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:13, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would like to see more elaboration, like this. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Doing some research on this, stand by. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:17, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- You're good, Voren is in fact not the author so I've removed that bit. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:26, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Doing some research on this, stand by. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:17, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Would like to see more elaboration, like this. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:25, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
- Mentioned. IFYLOFD (Talk) 03:13, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
Manoof
The quote for subsequent career mentions z'gag, can you work that in the article somewhere? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:21, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Done.
Is it worth having an equipment section (albeit a short one) describing his collection/artefacts/datatapes etc and maybe the coat he had pictured? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:21, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 04:18, 11 April 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:IFYLOFD|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2023|]]
Jai Maruk
- Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:25, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- Date Archived: 14:13, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1950 words (290 introduction, 1457 body, 203 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1845 words (217 introduction, 1438 body, 190 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
- — Samonic 10:21, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:11, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
UberSoldat
Please address the objections left over from the first nomination.UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:56, 16 July 2021 (UTC)- Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Fred will have a look when he's free. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
- Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Since you have stated that the novel does not provide the exact date, you need to write a note for it. The dates are also currently inconsistent between the infobox and body.- Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Does it mention Phindar Spaceport? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:10, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
- Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
Also per the AC probation page, the audiobook is a simultaneous 1st appearance.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Intro mentions Jai was recuperating but no indication he had been injured. There's also no mention of this in the body until you get to the P&T, but is relevant if it affected his fighting ability and was the reason he was on Coruscant during the Apprentice Tournament. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Can probably fit another two images in the P&T and P&A/BTS respectively. Potentially one of the clone wars and one of Dooku/Telekinesis/Assassin Droids but ultimately up to you. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)- Added two more photos.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Mission to Vjun - Just with the hard-sound guns, do they require two operators and is sonic projectors a synonym for the weapon? This sentence "Leem managed to battle through the pain in her head and destroy one of the two sonic projectors, which allowed Maruk to concentrate and demolish one of the droids bearing the second hard-sound gun." may need rephrasing to make this clearer. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)"As his hatred of her slowly fueled his attacks, Maruk fell into a black fury half blinded with hate as he drove her back with his flurry." Can this be rephrased to remove the double use of hate/hatred? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Intro mentions that Leem made a silent plea, but body does not make this distinction? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)In P&T, would you be willing to swap the third paragraph (mention of his childhood/teenage years) with the second paragraph (mention of his Clone Wars temperament)? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Can you mention the Publisher for the game in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)BTS indicates his forces were also brought to Vjun by Ventress in the encyclopaedia. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)Just check you're ok with this edit. I fixed some linking issues, but I'd like you to go through and double check your linking, I left at least one canon link and Jedi apprentice linking to the book series but also make sure you're linking as early as you can, whenever you can. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)- Thanks. Will do a double check soon and leave another comment. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
- Edit looks fine. I just did another look and added another link.ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
- Please go through the entire article and double check your links are correct. I got to the second paragraph and found Jedi Apprentice, an OOU novel series as well as two canon links to Jedi Knight and Padawan Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:50, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
Ecks
I'd say the introduction length is a bit excessive compared to the size of the body; two paragraphs should suffice. See if you can cut down on some unnecessary detail and context (you don't need to give context to Clone Wars etc in the intro really).Please check your image caption and quote attribution punctuation. The former should have a period when full sentences are used whereas the latter should never have a period.1358 (Talk) 21:26, 25 April 2022 (UTC)- Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
- Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences need a full stop, but not otherwise. 1358 (Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
- Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
How the heck does one pronounce Vjun
Just confirming this: does the source actually say he was taken to the temple in his early years, or is that an assumption you're making?- Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
- Yeah, I don't think that's an assumption we need to be making. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:14, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
- Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
Can you add a date for the start of the Clone Wars? "Broke out" should also link to that first battle."Head of State" is intro-exclusive.Checked CSWE myself: 1) does the novel really say nothing of their wager? 2) are you sure that the third paragraph of Mission to Vjun is meant to be sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?Images should not be above quotes.Please remove any contraction(s). (eg "couldn't" --> "could not")JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)Can you show me where either the novel or the CSWE says that Maruk was surprised that Yoda made the wager with him? I'm not seeing it anywhere.Can you explain why the paragraph in Accepting a Padawan is sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:54, 8 August 2022 (UTC)Equipment section?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:03, 24 August 2022 (UTC)Sorry for the delay, should be the last thing, the fact that he died in her arms is intro-exclusive.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:10, 18 September 2022 (UTC)- No worries. Line edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:07, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- Yikes, do none of the sources even support that? Be careful not to make up details next time. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- No worries. Line edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:07, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
Ayrehead
You can now implement the new pronouns field and categories. You should also check if any of the sources actually confirm the character's gender as we're no longer assuming gender from pronouns or appearance, just gendered terms like man or male.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)- Added. This is new to me, but he can be considered as a he/him/male from this description right? "He was a private man at the best of times" ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- Yup, that sentence works for both. I've also added the Individuals with he/him pronouns category. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added. This is new to me, but he can be considered as a he/him/male from this description right? "He was a private man at the best of times" ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
Context needed for Coruscant in the body.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)I think the Limit of Vision should be mentioned in the bio section as well as skills and abilities.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)You can add that he felt a responsibility for his ship and weapon to the P&T based on the opening quote.Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
Luca
It isn't clear where Yoda is during this mission. If he isn't there with them, I think it should be specified because it's a bit confusing right now.The "Mission to Vjun" section could use a further subsection, in my opinion, and possibly another image and quote.- (Review note) Make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR (Talk) 09:16, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
Last thing from me, it would be nice if the intro got expanded slightly, as it currently makes up for only around the 10% of the article.LucaRoR (Talk) 15:40, 23 February 2023 (UTC)- Expanded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:17, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
- Gave it a little tweak, I hope you're ok with it. LucaRoR (Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Expanded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:17, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
spookly
From New Essential Chronology: "The two Masterless Padawans located Yoda and continued to Vjun under his protection."—Worth rewording this content and adding it as the last sentence of the biography. Reasoning being that it does specifically mention they continued on as Masterless and ultimately finished the mission, and we do often add legacy-related sections/paragraphs when we can; seems weird to end it off the moment he dies.BtS: "Maruk has conflicting versions of his capture by Asajj Ventress..." - The end of this paragraph should note which version that the article assumes is correct.—spookywillowwtalk 22:04, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- Here is an example of how to use {{CSWECite}}. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 13:52, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Objections from previous nomination:
Master Fred
"her apparent lack of the Force..." Is that really how the source describes it, or is it more accurately a lack of connection to the Force or Force-sensitivityNo need to mention the CSWE entry and TERC mention in the Bts' first paragraph. We don't restate the Appearances and Sources sections in the prose anymore.How did you determine the proper way to handle the contradictions mentioned in the Bts? This might be worth noting for the reader.MasterFred(talk) 23:46, 23 February 2021 (UTC)- I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- I would give preference to the narrative works instead of the CSWE and ERC, and you can just state, "This article considers the events as described in the novel to be the canonical timeline," or something similar. That sentence wouldn't need to be referenced, either. Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 08:47, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
- I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
Please implement {{CSWECite}} in your references.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:34, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:28, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:ToRsO bOy|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Invincible
- Nominated by: Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:25, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First (technically second) FAN. Let's hope it goes well this time around
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:TCW, WP:CIS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:59, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- As leader of the clone wars project and fan of the Separatist military, I support this FAN Editoronthewiki (talk) 15:21, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work. Gotta get everything from "Cat and Mouse" to status! DwartiiDelver (talk) 01:15, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:15, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry for the extra objections, still looks great! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:31, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- The Invincible Hand OOM 224 20:02, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
- Samonic (Talk) 12:05, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 21:06, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
The Macaroni
Tarkin audiobook is missing.It seems a "Commanders and crew" section is in order per WP:LG#Starship and vehicle class articles.You can discuss the concept art in the bts.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:46, 1 August 2021 (UTC)- All done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:08, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Not seeing a need for separate refs in infobox/body for the date.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:22, 2 August 2021 (UTC)- Not sure why I added separate refs, tbh. Fixed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:35, 2 August 2021 (UTC)
Nubian is infobox-exclusive.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:36, 4 August 2021 (UTC)- Done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:14, 5 August 2021 (UTC)
I think there's a bit too much on the Imperial stuff in the intro. It takes up more than third of the intro but much less than that in the body.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:53, 13 August 2021 (UTC)- Is that enough content removed or is there anything more I can remove? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:07, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- That looks much better. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:14, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
- Is that enough content removed or is there anything more I can remove? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:07, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
Sorry, was reading this and found some more. Intro: "which caused the Invincible's tracking torpedoes to destroy its bridge and therefore the vessel as well." Why would the Invincible being destroyed cause the torpedoes to destroy the stealth ship?- The link to Hyena-class is a redirect.
Fight with a Jedi and destruction: you open with "shortly thereafter", but you used that phrase just a couple sentences prior, so it gets repetitive. I think you can reword it slightly.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 01:19, 13 October 2021 (UTC)- All done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 01:52, 13 October 2021 (UTC)
I'm not loving the current opening quote. It's a little boring, in my opinion, and a more action-y quote from the episode could be better to open up the article.- It's best to avoid ending and starting two consecutive sentences with the same word: "the modules that belonged to the Invincible were salvaged by Imperial defector Berch Teller. Teller then supposedly..."
- I wouldn't really say that something's resources themselves can result in something. Maybe reword to "its resources being sought after" or something here? "...as a result of its resources..."
It's unclear what Trench's point is here: "despite them being in possession of such a vessel, he had had encounters with similar ships in the past." If he's saying that his experience would allow him to defeat them or something like that, it could be made a bit clearer.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:04, 19 October 2021 (UTC)- This bit is still unclear. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:35, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- I don't know how that could be unclear. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Apologies, it's possible I was looking at an older revision or something. Looks better now. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:21, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- I don't know how that could be unclear. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Completely forgot to leave a message, but these should be done. However, I think the current main quote should remain since it's the only one that uses the Invincible's name in all of canon, but I can ask a member of the Inq what they might think I should do about this and get back to you on it. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:05, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- I can't deal with the rest of the objections right now, but I definitely see your point there. A larger discussion could be worth having. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:13, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- Quote changed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
- I can't deal with the rest of the objections right now, but I definitely see your point there. A larger discussion could be worth having. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:13, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- This bit is still unclear. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:35, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
Last couple things : do we know for sure that the blockade was exactly thirty craft? If so, how can there be at least 23 Munificents?- It's confirmed in Battles that Changed the Galaxy that there were 30 ships, but 23 Munificents can be seen in one of the shots from Cat and Mouse IIRC.
- Great. In that case, 23, 6, and Invincible add up to thirty so saying at least isn't necessary. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:29, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- Lost track of time here :P Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:57, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- Great. In that case, 23, 6, and Invincible add up to thirty so saying at least isn't necessary. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:29, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- It's confirmed in Battles that Changed the Galaxy that there were 30 ships, but 23 Munificents can be seen in one of the shots from Cat and Mouse IIRC.
Don't we have a date for the Tarkin events?- Added.
The third Legacy paragraph has some repeated phrasing; you start two sentences with "However," which can possible use some variation.- Fixed.
- I promise those three are really it :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:28, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- Heh, sure :P Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:59, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
Editor joins the battle
Wilhuff Tarkin needs his link added, nor is he mentioned in the history section. I think a brief sentence noting that Tarkin was informed the ship made up Teller's craft could be useful.- How's that?
The opening quote notes the ship is modular in design, so that should be noted in the description sectionEditoronthewiki (talk) 15:35, 1 August 2021 (UTC)- Done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:48, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Dwartii
I'd imagine something about the Invincible's poster appearance in "A Distant Echo" could be added to the legacy section, perhaps even alongside an image of the poster.DwartiiDelver (talk) 23:36, 4 October 2021 (UTC)- I haven't translated the cover so maybe it dates it there (somehow), but can it be said that the Space Battles cover featuring the Invincible was actually created around 19 BBY (or even created following the ship's destruction)?
- This one should have been done a week ago IIRC.
- Space Battles was reflected in the article then, although my objection about dating the poster's creation came afterward. DwartiiDelver (talk) 01:51, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- This one should have been done a week ago IIRC.
- I haven't translated the cover so maybe it dates it there (somehow), but can it be said that the Space Battles cover featuring the Invincible was actually created around 19 BBY (or even created following the ship's destruction)?
Also to confirm, have you checked the TCW S2 Blu-ray's Jedi Temple Archives special features for anything on the Invincible?DwartiiDelver (talk) 02:15, 5 October 2021 (UTC)- Courtesy of Immi, there was nothing on Invincible except a 3D model in the Jedi Temple Archives. So, would that go into the Sources? And what would the link be? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:36, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha—you can just add a link to Star Wars: The Clone Wars The Complete Season Two in the Sources section in that case. There is a template for the Jedi Temple Archives features, although from my experience that's only used in references, not the Sources. DwartiiDelver (talk) 17:40, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Actually, there was some notable BTS information, which I have added. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 17:46, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Gotcha—you can just add a link to Star Wars: The Clone Wars The Complete Season Two in the Sources section in that case. There is a template for the Jedi Temple Archives features, although from my experience that's only used in references, not the Sources. DwartiiDelver (talk) 17:40, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
- Courtesy of Immi, there was nothing on Invincible except a 3D model in the Jedi Temple Archives. So, would that go into the Sources? And what would the link be? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 15:36, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
The speakers of the legacy section quote need to be flipped around—Tarkin says the first line and the technician the second.DwartiiDelver (talk) 02:42, 6 October 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 22:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
"Destruction" is currently used twice in the first tRsentence of the Legacy section's second paragraph—using another word instead for one of these would be preferable if possible.DwartiiDelver (talk) 03:54, 15 October 2021 (UTC)- Changed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 14:57, 15 October 2021 (UTC)
"Also" is currently used three times in the first two sentences of the Description section's second paragraph—at least one of those could be removed/replaced with another word.- Changed.
I feel "As a result" can be removed from the intro's second paragraph.DwartiiDelver (talk) 19:48, 16 October 2021 (UTC)- I disagree. "As a result" is valid based on how I worded the first paragraph. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 20:47, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
Wanted to double check before adding it myself—I'd imagine heavy laser cannon can be linked in the article? I only ask as currently that page just makes mention of them on all terrain walkers, although if the source uses "heavy laser cannon" I would assume it can be linked here as well.To me at least, refs 3-8 seem as though the engines/cannons/torpedo launchers are the source of the info about them rather than CotR, considering the placement of "which states" directly after the engine/weapon names. I may just not be reading it right however.DwartiiDelver (talk) 23:15, 16 October 2021 (UTC)- Both done. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 00:28, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Capital ship" is infobox-exclusiveThe part about Obi-Wan in the intro seems unnecessary to me. The only significant info surrounding that sentence is that the Republic retreated and the Invincible won.Is the last sentence of the BTS just saying that early, incomplete animation sequences involving the ship appear in the Blu-ray? That doesn't seem at all notable to me.OOM 224 22:03, 22 October 2021 (UTC)- "As well as..." that doesn't mean the whole last sentence is about incomplete sequences for the episode. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
- Alright, but if the "early layout" of the battle doesn't differ from the scene in the final episode, then the part about incomplete sequences isn't necessary. OOM 224 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Removed. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 19:02, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Alright, but if the "early layout" of the battle doesn't differ from the scene in the final episode, then the part about incomplete sequences isn't necessary. OOM 224 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- "As well as..." that doesn't mean the whole last sentence is about incomplete sequences for the episode. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 21:55, 24 October 2021 (UTC)
I don't think manufacturers like Nubian should be listed alongside their products in the infoboxThe port/starboard info in the infobox ref notes aren't mentioned in the Description section"adorned with Trench's personal symbol instead of the emblem of the Confederacy of Independent Systems" — compared to what other ships?The intro uses "of Harch Separatist Admiral Trench" but the Commanders and crew section uses "of the Harch Separatist Admiral Trench""several years after the dreadnought's destruction" — don't see a need for this when a 19 BBY date is already specified"and survived the attack" — I'd say this should be removed as it's redundant to the concept of salvaging things. I don't think it's necessary to say that the parts were salvaged "after the battle" either.Would be nice to vary the language, specifically words that appear quite a few times in the article, like "later" and "after"OOM 224 18:44, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Can you mix up one of the two captions at the start, they're both in the format "The X of the Invincible" Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Changed the first one.
Is there a reason the Deflector shields aren't noted in the desciption? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Added now.
"While the Republic fled, Trench's T-series tactical droid, TI-99, inquired as to whether or not they should as well" is indicating TI-99 asked whether they should flee, can you clarify this. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Fixed. It was meant to say that TI-99 wondered if they should pursue them, don't know what happened there.
Great example of Theseus' paradox, is it worth mentioning a brief one-liner in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- What do you mean?
- Thinking about it, it's close but not quite like Wikipedia:Ship of Theseus so all good Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:57, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
- What do you mean?
- Review note: I think you could potentially cut out some of the Legacy stuff regarding Teller's warship, but if you want to keep the amount you have the next two points are definitely relevant. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
- Adding new information shouldn't determine whether or not you get to keep current information if that's what I'm picking up from what you're saying.
Can you give context to the Gulf of Tatooine? I thought it was a location on the planet until I clicked the link. "a region of space near the planet Tatooine" or similar would suffice. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- Added.
Can we get a bit more context regarding it's destruction? He was going to ambush the convoy and then just loses his ship, was it a counter-ambush or did security escort or reinforcements for the convoy defeat the ship? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:31, 29 October 2021 (UTC)- How's that? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:18, 29 October 2021 (UTC)
Are the posters images that can be added to the article in the legacy section? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:58, 30 October 2021 (UTC)- Grabbed a screenshot but because of the scene it is quite dark. I've improved it a little and sent to Erebus to check. For reference the scene is at 5:49 on D+ Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- It's good. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 17:52, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
- Grabbed a screenshot but because of the scene it is quite dark. I've improved it a little and sent to Erebus to check. For reference the scene is at 5:49 on D+ Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 21:06, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- I will address any and all possible objections when I return from vacation in 7-8 days. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:45, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
- Just noticed, what poster are you referring to? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:37, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- I never added it, but I can check. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 16:03, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Erebus Chronus|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Renz
- Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:07, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I really did not expect this to end up on the FAN but Barrie Holland apparently has a lot of stories to tell.
- WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Ambition
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Great work. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:26, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 21:08, 2 November 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:41, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:56, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
- Very nice! LucaRoR (Talk) 14:58, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 01:51, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- Great work Ayre. DarthRuiz30 (talk) 02:21, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Is it really necessary to include the "Ha! Ha!" in the bts quote? It doesn't really add much in my opinion.- Eh I usually include that kind of thing as part of the whole quote, but removed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Should we be listing the OT/PT graphic novels by the first movie they adapt in appearances per Forum:CT:Clarifying the Appearances section in the Layout Guide?- I don't think we have a consistent precedent on this, but done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
"so that Solo turned into Renz's gun" -- this implies that Solo literally transformed into a gun, which is not what I think you're trying to say.- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Endor Limited is missing a release year, and it was not produced by WotC :P- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Can you please give the series name and full release date for the De Agostini book?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:06, 11 August 2021 (UTC)- Damn, I generally just auto-assume De Agostini full dates are impossible, I forgot that Encyclopedia actually has them. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:26, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
Do we have/need a page for the Endor bunker garrison?- Made one, although the precedent for when a garrison does or doesn't get a page seems a little spotty. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Is the capitalization of Rebel in the opening quote accurate?- Changed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
The "Duped by Solo" quote caption doesn't make it clear who the second speaker is.- Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Do you think a year for Eye of the Needle is worth adding?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:00, 17 August 2021 (UTC)- I left it out mostly because I don't really see how the year is relevant to the character Renz, all we need to know is that Holland and Marquand met on the film prior to Holland being offered Renz which is clear in the text. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:43, 17 August 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
Capturing Rebels- can the first part of the sentence be referenced to Jedi as well as the point of his superior? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Moved the reference. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
A Great Line - In the quote, please note [sic] at the start with the grammatical error Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Can you note that the role was not credited? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
In "A complicated scene", Holland notes he believes his portrayal of Renz to be "a forceful officer whose ruthless manner summed up the power of the Empire.". Can we incorporate any of that in the P&T based on the character's behaviour, perhaps speaking to his dedication and loyalty to the empire? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- I'd rather leave the actors interpretation in the BTS and avoid trying to extrapolate stuff for the P&T from it. Since he only has one line I don't think we can really say much more that what's currently there. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Is Category:Endorians adequate here? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:22, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- I don't think being stationed on Endor is really enough to count him as an Endorian, and for all we know he shipped out to sleep on the Death Star every night or something. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:47, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
The film provides no indication that Dyer was killed; we only see him fall over a railing.UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:10, 23 January 2022 (UTC)- Huh, I'd never considered he might survive falling into the generator but I guess it's possible. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:43, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:36, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Ayrehead02|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Flame-colored robes
- Nominated by: Minnabird (talk) 18:03, 11 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS
(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)
(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Objections, suggestions, and a lot of screaming about Padmé and Naboo fashion addressed via Discord. Immi Thrax (talk) 23:57, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! Editoronthewiki (talk) 21:54, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
- I think we're ready to go. Fantastic section header names. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:41, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 02:08, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:25, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Really great work here, just a couple things: for one, it isn't super clear to me if "The handmaidens often wore hoods" is connected to the article subject. If that's the case, it can be made a little clearer."..." should be replaced with "…"When you say Parasitti used the disguise against her, I think it should be explicitly mentioned that when she shapeshifted into a handmaiden, she was disguised in the robes. The article kind of implies it right now but doesn't state it."All over the galaxy" is intro-exclusive."At least one other queen's retinue also wore similar robes." — It should be made clear that this retinue was also of the Royal House of Naboo.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:40, 12 August 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Anakin.Any reason you didn't mention a date for Raiders of the Lost Gundark?- Popping my head in to note there's no available date, just a range of "sometime while she's queen." Immi Thrax (talk) 00:01, 11 September 2021 (UTC)
All of the stuff in "Remembered in light" takes place before the last paragraph of "Banked embers", so that needs to be re-ordered.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:39, 10 September 2021 (UTC)
Lewis
Missing appearances, I pointed them out to you on the Discord server before and guessing you forgot to add themLewisr (talk) 16:31, 13 August 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
There's two purposes in the intro not noted in the infobox: "complement several of the queen's outfits and help the handmaidens fade to the background." Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:52, 4 November 2021 (UTC)Does the robe have red in it? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 12:52, 4 November 2021 (UTC)- Will tackle the other objection later but: I suspect where you're seeing red is the under-robe and sash. They're described variously as red and orange in secondary material iirc but since the in-universe references call them orange, I've opted for that. It seems to be such a hot red-orange that simply categorizing as one or the other is kind of trusting your perceptions and throwing a dart. Minnabird (talk) 13:28, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
- Added some more sources. Are Appearances/Sources still incomplete? UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:21, 1 December 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
- Until Minna could return and handle objections herself again, removing for Manoof's objection that has been left unaddressed for over three weeks. OOM 224 18:58, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:04, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 19:34, 15 December 2021 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Belaya
- Nominated by: Immi Thrax (talk) 02:55, 14 August 2021 (UTC) and ImpacticForce (Talk)
- Nomination comments: This co-nomination is also a co-first-FAN for both of us
- WookieeProject (optional): WookieeProject: Pride, WP:KOTOR
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- OOM 224 20:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- D MCCG (chat) 16:03, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
- Perfection.gif great work! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:46, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:44, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
- Chef's kiss! -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:35, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- Well done! Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:38, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 08:58, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
OOM
It's best to establish context for subjects upon their first mention so as to avoid confusion further down the page. Specifically, Dantooine as a planet and Revan as a former Jedi in the first lines of the first and third paragraph (intro), respectively.- Impactic and Immi have tackled that, and some other context left out previously. Please see if we've added too much context or if more is still needed!
- Looks good, though I think it is a little too much. The first sentence about Revan can be removed since there's no need to mention Revan at that point in the article (since it's not relevant to Belaya). I've also cut down on the context here, please see if that's okay OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Dialed back! Does that now leave the last sentence in a weird place by calling Malak "his former Sith apprentice"? Immi Thrax (talk) 12:23, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Looks good, though I think it is a little too much. The first sentence about Revan can be removed since there's no need to mention Revan at that point in the article (since it's not relevant to Belaya). I've also cut down on the context here, please see if that's okay OOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
- Impactic and Immi have tackled that, and some other context left out previously. Please see if we've added too much context or if more is still needed!
"Although" is preferred over "though" in formal writing- Fixed by Impactic.
Per precedence, the video game developer (BioWare in this case) should be mentioned in BTS sectionsOOM 224 19:00, 20 August 2021 (UTC)- Added by Impactic. Immi Thrax (talk) 04:29, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
Also (following on my first objection. This objection got longer than I thought it would, but bear with me here :P), I'm not sure if so much context on the Jedi Civil War is needed in "Traditions of the Jedi." I suggest first removing the part between "In 3956 BBY" and "Bastila Shan brought Revan," and then adding the necessary context that Revan lost his memories of his past self and was captured by the Jedi; I'd say only those two bits of info are needed since the rest aren't required for 1) Belaya as an article or 2) making the text here clear to readersOOM 224 12:06, 21 August 2021 (UTC)Context needed for Deesra Luur Jada. Something like "Jedi Knight" would do fine. Similarly, context is needed for KorribanIs there a reason why the Masters in that Deesra sentence are listed in the current order? If not then it's best to just sort them alphabetically.- Added context. I think the order of the Masters was how they were standing in the Enclave from left to right, but I went ahead and ordered them alphabetically. Wasn't sure to order by first name or last, if I did it wrong just ping me on discord and I can fix it. ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:11, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Is it really unclear whom Gaider is referring too? I'd say it's fair to assume it to be Belaya. Plus, the page is already indicating this by talking about it :POOM 224 11:34, 22 August 2021 (UTC)- I changed it for now, but I'll check with Immi later, it'll probably get rewritten a little bit. ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:07, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Instead of repeating information between both the Biography and the P&T sections, I suggest removing Belaya's species from the BiographyContext for Bastila. Not sure what her rank was at the time, but either Jedi Knight or Master would do fine- Removed species from the Biography. The council refers to Bastila as a padawan in the game. ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:36, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
"She expressed disbelief that someone so strong […]" It's not immediately clear who "she" is—Bastila or Belaya. Also, that same line is a little "choppy"—it's not really connected to the surrounding sentences. As an example, I've joined the "many nights alone together" sentence here with the previous line for a better flow.- Reworded to clarify and connect. Immi Thrax (talk) 00:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
"After Revan correctly recited the Jedi Code, he constructed his own lightsaber with a crystal from Master Dorak" — I don't think this is necessary since it's solely about Revan's journeyOOM 224 17:13, 22 August 2021 (UTC)- I've revised the Crystal Cave part to focus on Belaya commenting on it. Should we leave any mention of the Jedi Code part to the BTS? I don't believe it's canonically established who re-taught Revan the Jedi Code, so it doesn't really fit the "100% completion" template, and IIRC the dialogue isn't available once someone else has taught it (but we can test that to find out) Immi Thrax (talk) 00:04, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
"The fallen Jedi"- Some of the detail in the first paragraph, bar the last sentence, can be cut to summarise that Juhani fell and the resulting effects
- "rumors circulated that local settlers had been attacked by the newly aggressive wildlife, a Jedi apprentice had hurt her own master, and Master Quatra may not survive her injuries" I know I say this a lot, but I don't think this context here is necessary either OOM 224 18:02, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
- Worked on the paragraphs, let me know if I need to re-add or remove any context. ImpacticForce (Talk) 20:04, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Okay, time for the final push- I don't think "After Revan located a Star Map within the ruins" is necessary information
- Removed!
- For the last Bio paragraph, simply saying that 1) the Enclave was bombarded by the Sith, 2) there were many Jedi casualties, 3) Malak was defeated by Revan, and 4) the First Jedi purge resulted in the deaths of most Order members is enough. Further details aren't needed since all the readers need here is a brief overview on the potential effects of the war on Belaya.
- How's it now?
- Looking great! There's only one thing with that last sentence: the First Jedi Purge isn't really part of the Sith Civil War. They're concurrent and certainly related, but the Sith killing Jedi was separate from their own struggle for dominance over each other OOM 224 19:15, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed! ImpacticForce (Talk) 19:35, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Looking great! There's only one thing with that last sentence: the First Jedi Purge isn't really part of the Sith Civil War. They're concurrent and certainly related, but the Sith killing Jedi was separate from their own struggle for dominance over each other OOM 224 19:15, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- How's it now?
- It's pretty clear that "Peter T." is Peter Thomas, so I'd just replace "and notes from "Peter T." are found" with "whose notes are found"
- Revised!
- Lastly, I jsut want to confirm if the Prima's Guide been checked for any additional info OOM 224 18:03, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- Yep! Entirety of the Prima mention: "The courtyard is populated by a few Jedi and by Belaya, who comments on your progress as you learn the ways of the Force. (She’s a friend of Juhani, whom you’ll meet later, and she leaves the courtyard forever if Juhani meets an untimely end.)" Since none of that is unique info, we didn't cite it. Immi Thrax (talk) 18:44, 24 August 2021 (UTC)
- I don't think "After Revan located a Star Map within the ruins" is necessary information
Macaroni
I'm not a huge fan of having no section header for the first bts paragraph. What do you think about adding one?I think "Authorial intent" could use a paragraph break and a quote.- Addressed both BTS-related objections. Related to the below, adjusted image positioning as well. Immi Thrax (talk) 01:19, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
The last two paragraphs of the bio are quite small and only work because of the huge image, which is a bit distracting. I'd say it can be a bit smaller and the last paragraphs merged.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:05, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- Merged the paragraphs. The picture's size might need to be adjusted a little more. ImpacticForce (Talk) 00:42, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
I don't really understand saying "In the time of [...] Revan" -- what are you trying to say here about the timeline that isn't already said?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- My fault for using a phrasing from the CSWE: "A human Jedi who trained under Master Zhar Lestin in the time of Darth Revan, she was friends with Juhani." I took that to mean that the years of her training overlapped with the years that Revan was active as a Sith. Does the dating already convey that? Revise or remove? Immi Thrax (talk) 10:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Check out the revision, and if it's still not working, we'll trim :) Immi Thrax (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Looks good! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:44, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
Manoof
In the last paragraph of "The Fallen Jedi", is it worth noting that Bastila likewise couldn't assist? It's been ages since I played the game so I can't remember if she was available as a party member or not.- Revised the wording to include Bastila and be more clear about the instruction—Zhar says "None of the other Jedi at the academy are permitted to help you in this task" and Bastila can't be used as a party member for it. Is that good? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
The first sentence of "The third trial" is really short, and jumps straight to Revan defeating her. Are you able to expand the initial sentence slightly and mention that they battled? Were any warning words said or was this an ambush strike? Can we say they used lightsabers and force powers or is that a stretch given the context of the game?- Revised wording! Didn't add details, both for gameplay reasons (you could choose not to use lightsaber or Force powers) and because it'd go off the topic of Belaya herself. Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Same section, I'm not sure the last two sentences are needed. I'll keep looking but no other issues spotted so far! Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:15, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- We feel they're needed since Belaya was based on Dantooine; it's relevant to note what happened to Dantooine as it would have affected her (whether or not she was present, whether or not she survived...), as would the Jedi purge (if she survived the Dantooine bombardment). We believe those events need to be mentioned while avoiding out-of-universe speculating about the unknowns (so no "her fate was unknown"). Would you like us to revise the sentences in some other way? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
- That makes sense, can we at least connect Belaya in there somehow. Eg Juhani left Belaya to join Revan... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Connected! Immi Thrax (talk) 21:05, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- That makes sense, can we at least connect Belaya in there somehow. Eg Juhani left Belaya to join Revan... Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- We feel they're needed since Belaya was based on Dantooine; it's relevant to note what happened to Dantooine as it would have affected her (whether or not she was present, whether or not she survived...), as would the Jedi purge (if she survived the Dantooine bombardment). We believe those events need to be mentioned while avoiding out-of-universe speculating about the unknowns (so no "her fate was unknown"). Would you like us to revise the sentences in some other way? Immi Thrax (talk) 20:31, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Oh, forgot to mention you should double check the categories and see if there's anything else that could be added. I usually go into each existing category and see if there's sub or parent categories that offer a separate category branch that could also apply. For example, I went up the Jedi Knights of the Jedi Order and found under the Jedi individuals category another branch that could apply: Category:Jedi Guardians Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:20, 14 September 2021 (UTC)- I added Category:Jedi Guardians. I didn't see any other applicable categories, but I'll be on the lookout. ImpacticForce (Talk) 16:10, 14 September 2021 (UTC)
Can we describe her hairstyle at all in P&T? Review complete :) Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:54, 15 September 2021 (UTC)- Initially I thought that category was only for those who were native to it, but it appears to apply to any people who lived on the planet. Added. ImpacticForce (Talk) 15:25, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
- Whoops forgot to address the hairstyle. Fixed. ImpacticForce (Talk) 17:34, 15 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:58, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
Belaya is part of the scope of WP:PRIDE's project based on the strong subtext that she had romantic feelings for Juhani, but at the moment, she has not been placed in the Category:LGBTQ+ individuals category since it's tricky to judge how explicit that needs to be for a potential status article. I've been unable to find any interviews where it's clear that Belaya is being discussed, though David Gaider said years later of Juhani: "We kind of hid it. She never says, 'She was my lover.' She just says, 'We are very close.'" (I don't think he quite remembered what Juhani did or didn't say, and it isn't totally clear if this is meant to be Belaya or Quatra). For what it's worth, I thought it was obvious and many people have felt that way about her since we're used to having things implied, in subtext, coded, etc., particularly since KOTOR was released in 2003 and it was doing groundbreaking-but-very-carefully stuff with Juhani. How do reviewers feel about that category for Belaya?Immi Thrax (talk) 04:28, 14 August 2021 (UTC)- Upon further research (I'm talking a Google cache of an archive/mirror of the defunct LucasForums, eventually leading to finding the Archive.org of that forum!), we found David Gaider made explicit the authorial intent that Belaya was Juhani's former lover. This has been quote in the BTS, not incorporated into the IU sections. I also found video of the conference panel to transcribe a more accurate quote. Based on this OOU confirmation of what was implied IU, we've confidently placed Belaya in the category. Immi Thrax (talk) 22:08, 15 August 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Immi Thrax|]] [[Category:Archived nominations by User:ImpacticForce|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2021|]]
Atrisi system
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 21:59, 25 August 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: TCW :|
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:TCW
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- The Artisinal system. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:39, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
- Carrying vote over from the GAN after reviewing the changes. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:34, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 16:40, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Systems online Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:09, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 02:25, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 22:47, 11 November 2021 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:10, 26 December 2021 (UTC)
Object
Manoof
Given the image shows "Kitel Phard" rather than "Atrisi system", is it worth noting in brackets the alternate name for the system's planet in the infobox to reduce confusion? Similar to an image caption? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:02, 6 November 2021 (UTC)- Sure. Imperators II(Talk) 16:16, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:11, 26 December 2021 (UTC)
- More a comment than an objection, since the system is also known as Kitel Phard System, shouldn't it be bolded in the intro? LucaRoR (Talk) 16:24, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nope, names from the Appendix generally don't override existing names, so we're not treating "Kitel Phard system" as a in-universe name. Imperators II(Talk) 16:32, 6 November 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Suljo Warde
- Nominated by: VergenceScatter (talk) 01:16, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First one, let's hope this goes well. Thanks to everyone who's helped me to get to the point that I feel confident enough to do this.
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:FFGAMES
(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Happy to cast a support vote! Good work :) -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:59, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 03:39, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
- Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:40, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- Boo Moraband Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:03, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
- Nice work OOM 224 19:40, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:50, 11 June 2022 (UTC)
- Lovely work! —TomotronStar Forge 14:10, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
Object
Liverpool92
"Human" and "Male" or any other use of gender should be lowercase.--Liverpool92 14:47, 7 September 2021 (UTC)- "Human" is always capitalized in legends, but I've fixed the "male." VergenceScatter (talk) 19:43, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
Fan
Is "Assassins" meant to be capitalised in the intro?Fan26 (Talk) 14:08, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- No, it's not. Fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
"Warde, who would later save Marcolf’s life in return, believed that Marcolf, a Force-sensitive, had the potential to join the Jedi Order, so he brought the Mirialan with him to the planet Arbooine—where Warde had been laying the groundwork for a Republic outpost—with plans to eventually bring him to Coruscant[1], the capital of the Republic." This is a run-on, please rectify.Fan26 (Talk) 23:41, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- Rectified. VergenceScatter (talk) 01:00, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Context for Eriadu in the introThe Republic seems like it could go in the infoboxTwo of the quotes are missing punctuation- Still one to go Commander Code-8 Hello There! 23:04, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
- Oops, fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 23:11, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
- Still one to go Commander Code-8 Hello There! 23:04, 9 October 2021 (UTC)
Images generally look better when they're placed below quotes, and doing it that way is more consistent with our other status articlesThe Cato Neimoidia section should have another subsection rather than just oneCommander Code-8 Hello There! 06:24, 26 September 2021 (UTC)- All done. VergenceScatter (talk) 15:50, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
It would be appropriate to add the years for the Clone Wars on their first mention, given that the article has a time jump- Added
Any chance of linking Warde's actions on Cato Neimoidia to an existing Clone Wars battle, or even creating a new article if the relevant info is mainly about the city?- Created a new article
- This isn't an objection but I've accessed an online copy of the sourcebook and it uses the heading Battle for Jorra, which should be used as a canonical title
- Created a new article
The first sentence of the Encountering the discovers section reads like we should already know that the holocron was discovered, could you adjust the wording there?- How's that?
It's not currently clear how Warde recognized the discoverers until later in that section- Should be fixed
I found a few instances of underlinking throughout the article, might be good to check for anything elseCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:08, 21 March 2022 (UTC)- Went through, added a few more. Should be good now. VergenceScatter (talk) 00:32, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Chandrilan is intro exclusive- It's already in the bio.
- I meant Chandrilan/Legends, not Chandrila
- It says he's from Chandrila, which is the same as saying he's Chandrilan. I don't think it's intro-exclusive. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:31, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- What I'm more concerned about is that Chandrilan isn't linked in the body Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:32, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- Linked. VergenceScatter (talk) 05:34, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- What I'm more concerned about is that Chandrilan isn't linked in the body Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:32, 24 March 2022 (UTC)
- It says he's from Chandrila, which is the same as saying he's Chandrilan. I don't think it's intro-exclusive. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:31, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- I meant Chandrilan/Legends, not Chandrila
- It's already in the bio.
Needs mediacat- Added
Gatekeeper is inconsistently capitalized throughout- Fixed.
There's quotes from the first page of Chapter II or III in the sourcebook that would suit the P&T- Used the one from Chapter II. I didn't use the Chapter III quote anywhere because it's unclear when he said it.
It'd be worth specifying that the discoverers had retraced Warde's steps after finding the holocron and learned about him from the people he affected- Done
There's quotes for the optional paths and alternate endings that could go in both of the latter Bts subsectionsCommander Code-8 Hello There! 09:24, 22 March 2022 (UTC)- Added VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- TIL the Layout Guide technically allows quotes to be used outside of the beginning of a section. Anyway there's still options for the final challenge and meeting section, even if its the ones quoted in that section Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:49, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Added. VergenceScatter (talk) 16:37, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- TIL the Layout Guide technically allows quotes to be used outside of the beginning of a section. Anyway there's still options for the final challenge and meeting section, even if its the ones quoted in that section Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:49, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Added VergenceScatter (talk) 17:03, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Couple more things: Based on the quote in Warde's fall you can specify the names of all the characters mentioned there in the bodyCould you split the second paragraph in Arrival and descent?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:47, 1 May 2022 (UTC)- Both done VergenceScatter (talk) 05:38, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
I count three one-paragraph sections. How would you feel about merging some of them?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:53, 26 October 2021 (UTC)- Hmm, the problem is that doing so would prevent me from including the quotes that are in those sections. Do you think it's worth combining those sections if I have to get rid of the quotes? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- If that's the only reason not to, then absolutely. Quotes are added if sectioning allows, not the other way around. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:18, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- "Early life" and "Clone Wars" can easily be merged into something like "Early life and Clone Wars."
- Done. Sorry about the wait, misread the message chain. VergenceScatter (talk) 19:38, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
- "Early life" and "Clone Wars" can easily be merged into something like "Early life and Clone Wars."
- If that's the only reason not to, then absolutely. Quotes are added if sectioning allows, not the other way around. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:18, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
- Hmm, the problem is that doing so would prevent me from including the quotes that are in those sections. Do you think it's worth combining those sections if I have to get rid of the quotes? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:11, 26 October 2021 (UTC)
We should avoid placing images next to consecutive paragraphs.I'm going to disagree here. I believe all of the image placement on the article is fine.VergenceScatter (talk) 18:33, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
"Skills and abilities" has a one-sentence paragraph. I think that section can be two paragraphs, but they should be of around equal length.- Done;
Bts needs some more subsectioning.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:27, 28 October 2021 (UTC)- How's that? VergenceScatter (talk) 18:33, 8 November 2021 (UTC)
ThrawnChiss7
Under "Personality and traits" there is a red template that says "Template:Trust is a luxury I can no longer afford"ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 01:44, 23 March 2022 (UTC)- Fixed. VergenceScatter (talk) 03:27, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 14:44, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
OOM
There should be an additional subsection under "Early life and Clone Wars"- Added
The word "during" gets repetitive, particularly at the start of the Biography. See if you can cut some out.Warde's species and gender are repeated between the Biography and the P&T; stating them in either one section is enough.OOM 224 10:00, 24 May 2022 (UTC)- Removed VergenceScatter (talk) 20:42, 24 May 2022 (UTC)
Continuing the review, now that I've read through the article in its entirety…- "its gatekeeper, an artificial personality that could guide a future individual to the holocron's components" — there's no real need to state this info here, so how about merging it into the next paragraph, specifically "took comfort in the fact that the gatekeeper would remain to guide the finders of the holocron"?
- Merged.
- No quote for the "Arbooine" section? (or Equipment?)
- I'd thought there weren't any available, but was able to find one for each.
- "He was never able to understand why he had chosen to come to Moraband, even after years of contemplation, although his ultimate reason for doing so was that he saw that he would die on the planet" — I'm confused with the wording here. Are you trying to give the reason for Warde going to Moraband while also saying that he never understood the same decision?
"where he kept a datapad full of ranting prophecies — heh, this almost sounds like me :P- There's enough space for an image under P&T, but I understand if you don't want to add one.
- There's space but I don't think there's an image that fits there super well
- Also, his quip about Moraband's weather is good P&T material.
- Added
- For Skills and abilities, I'd like it if you could specify how his power of foresight was different from that of other Jedi, as per the quote in that section. OOM 224 17:17, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- Done VergenceScatter (talk) 19:34, 27 May 2022 (UTC)
- "its gatekeeper, an artificial personality that could guide a future individual to the holocron's components" — there's no real need to state this info here, so how about merging it into the next paragraph, specifically "took comfort in the fact that the gatekeeper would remain to guide the finders of the holocron"?
UberSoldat
Please ensure all image captions connect with this subject. Image captions that only name the subject depicted (e.g. Moraband) are a relic of status articles past, and one of the reasons they lost status later on. Their job is to tell me why the image is relevant to this article in the first place.UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:55, 14 June 2022 (UTC)- I don't really understand how it's unclear how they're related to the article, but done VergenceScatter (talk) 20:26, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
- The caption "Moraband" does not explain why Moraband is relevant to Suljo Warde. Also, there's still Gel Marcolf left, what is his role in Warde's history? UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:55, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- Literally anyone who reads the article will know VergenceScatter (talk) 07:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've added it, but I maintain that this requirement makes no sense unless you expect readers to be unable to read the article VergenceScatter (talk) 07:15, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- All I'll say is avoiding such a practice is only going against modern site-wide precedent. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've added it, but I maintain that this requirement makes no sense unless you expect readers to be unable to read the article VergenceScatter (talk) 07:15, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- Literally anyone who reads the article will know VergenceScatter (talk) 07:04, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- The caption "Moraband" does not explain why Moraband is relevant to Suljo Warde. Also, there's still Gel Marcolf left, what is his role in Warde's history? UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:55, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- I don't really understand how it's unclear how they're related to the article, but done VergenceScatter (talk) 20:26, 14 June 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- Note that Chronicles uses "Moraband" throughout, so I've elected to use that name in the article instead of "Korriban." VergenceScatter (talk) 22:39, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:18, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:VergenceScatter|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2023|]]
Unidentified First Order stormtrooper sergeant
- Nominated by: Liverpool92 15:06, 1 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First FAN.
- Date Archived: 20:24, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1758 words (253 introduction, 1448 body, 57 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1757 words (253 introduction, 1447 body, 57 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:GE
(3 Inqs/5 Users/8 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:09, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work VergenceScatter (talk) 05:35, 5 January 2022 (UTC)
- D MCCG (chat) 06:21, 7 January 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work indeed. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:22, 16 February 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 07:51, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
- Watch out for duplicate links in the future. Samonic (Talk) 19:15, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
- Minnabird (talk) 22:03, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
Object
Vergence
Any way you can add a "Skills and abilities" section?VergenceScatter (talk) 16:15, 8 September 2021 (UTC)Does the comic identify Ki-Adi Mundi as a Cerean? (Or at least picture him?)VergenceScatter (talk) 17:02, 4 January 2022 (UTC)Is there any available context for Sword of Khashyun?VergenceScatter (talk) 17:19, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
Yakov, Sergeant Tzvi
The second intro paragraph has confusing sentence structure. I had trouble parsing the grammar of its second-last sentence.You should clarify that "Red Fury" and "709th Legion" are the same.Who is Io?-- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 04:59, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
Quote sourcing needs to be updatedThe bio should start with a sentence that more directly introduces this character, similar to a first sentence in the intro. The context for the First Order could also go here, since its in the intro and not the bioThere's a few places where the writing is more like narrative prose than an encyclopedic entry, stuff like "First Order assault shuttle roared above the outpost" and "revealing his scared face and his prosthetic left eye."Having not read the comic, it seems like there's stuff about the sergeants views on history that could be described in the P&TThe second and fourth sections of the bio need some brief context to establish the sergeant getting to the locationsEquipment section goes below skills and abilitiesMediacat needs to be linkedSince the StarWars.com article came out before the comic, it needs to have {{1stp}} next to it and get described in the BtsCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:15, 17 April 2022 (UTC)The part about the sergeant revealing his scar and prosthetic eye can be removed, and the fact that he acquired those injuries at some point can be mentioned in the first sectionCommander Code-8 Hello There! 10:14, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
Sergeant Samonic
"A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta, the First Order, as a stormtrooper and military officer of the 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury." — Could you change that to "A human male sergeant served the autocratic military junta of the First Order. He served as a stormtrooper and military officer of the junta's 709th Legion, also known as the "Red Fury.""- "He had a long scar around his left eye, with a blue prosthetic in place of where his eye should be." This is like a very small P+T(Personality and traits) section, which is unnecessary as you have a P+T section below; and in any case, it should be at the end of the intro.
Could you merge some of the intro's paragraphs? Same thing for the body's "Paying Dok-Ondar a visit."— Samonic 15:27, 29 April 2022 (UTC)"During the conflict with the private military force, the Resistance, the sergeant—whose legion deployed to the planet Batuu at Black Spire Outpost to punish any Resistance activity." — Could you change how you introduce the Resistance to how you introduce the First Order for consistancy? — also, "[…] the sergeant—whose legion…" makes it seem like the legion was a part of the Resistance.- Fixed.
Context for Lieutenant Agnon, Kendoh Gang, Dok Ondar (should be supplied when first mentioned)Can you get a quote for "Skills and abilities/Equipment"?— Samonic 09:41, 9 May 2022 (UTC)Article is missing some links, please go through the article and add links where necessary; you have a duplicate link.— Samonic 17:44, 12 May 2022 (UTC)Missing context throughout.— Samonic 17:46, 12 May 2022 (UTC)Can this link to Batuu system? "Above Batuu"— Samonic 20:59, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- Done.
" In 34 ABY,[3] at Black Spire Outpost[2] on the Outer Rim[4] planet Batuu,[2] a First Order assault shuttle flying above the outpost" Is this sentence missing something?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- Fixed.
Can you merge the first two subsections?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- I disagree because merging them will create one subsection way bigger than the rest. Plus I think separating it by comic issue is better for organization.
Who's Remex Io affiliated with?— Samonic 21:10, 26 May 2022 (UTC)"The sergeant had never paid much attention to history, as he was more concerned with the future" and "comment at the sergeant which caused him smack Voss with the end of his blaster, making her bleed.[7]" Missing something?What's the story? "Ondar understood that the sergeant had no appreciation for the past but told him the story of how he came into possession of Mundi's lightsaber.[1]"Samonic 09:24, 12 June 2022 (UTC)Double dashes (--) should be replaced with mdashes (—) in quotes."A human male served as a stormtrooper sergeant and military officer in the First Order." — I'd remove the mention of "military officer" and instead say "served as a stormtrooper sergeant in the First Order's military."Samonic (Talk) 19:01, 14 December 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
The intro feels a bit too large in my opinion. Are you able to cut down some bits of extra information from the four paragraphs?- Fixed.
Is there a reason why you're linking to First Order High Command? They're simply the leaders of the First Order military, not the military itself.- Because one of the reviewers did a copy edit and added that so I went with it.
Context for Moraband.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 23:14, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
SE
"noting that nothing there required their presence." Just to clarify, in the intro this is referring to the location he was called to to provide support, correct?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 02:02, 28 June 2022 (UTC)- Correct.
Does he land on the planet after calling them Batuuan rats, or does he land on the outpost at a later time?- We don't know because next we see him is in Dok Ondar's shop.
"The stormtrooper sergeant held the lightsaber used by the late Cerean Jedi Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi." Does he pick up the saber in Dok's, or did he already have it?- Already has it.
"asking if he was the Jedi with the pointed head." Who is he asking?- Ondar. Fixed
"that Ondar said that he did not have to threaten him because the Ithorian was just a humble store owner with only respect for the First Order." Small, but it's a bit unclear whether Ondar is saying the sergeant doesn't have to threaten him, or the other way around.Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:48, 29 June 2022 (UTC)- Cleared it up.
"He realized that this incursion was useless as the operatives were not members of the Resistance." Who were they with?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 22:44, 29 June 2022 (UTC)The body states the stormtrooper struck Voss with a baton, but the image caption says it was with the butt of his blaster. Which was it?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:20, 7 January 2023 (UTC)Do we know why Ondar told him the story about how he acquired the lightsaber? Was he asked, or did he just go into it?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:27, 7 January 2023 (UTC)Any details on how he took the two operatives out?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 06:37, 7 January 2023 (UTC)In the intro, prior to this sentence you refer to just the sergeant going to Dok's, followed by a mention of "them" "Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched via a cam droid by the criminal trio known as the Kendoh Gang. " Can you clarify who they are?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 08:07, 7 February 2023 (UTC)
OOM
Preliminaries- No need to specify that the left eye is prosthetic in the eye colour field; it's redundant to what's in the cybernetics field.
- Fixed
- "autocratic military junta" is intro-exclusive. It's also unnecessary context.
- Fixed
- The intro is long enough already for an article this size, so I'd remove the mention of the physcial traits at the end.
- Shortened
- "but as well as" is ungrammatical.
- Fixed
- No need to repeat things like species and gender between the Biography and the P&T sections. Specifying them once in either one of those sections is enough. OOM 224 16:31, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed
- Watch out for consecutive references. Please double-check to confirm that the references are supporting the correct words and remove the consecutive references. OOM 224 16:33, 21 August 2022 (UTC)
- No need to specify that the left eye is prosthetic in the eye colour field; it's redundant to what's in the cybernetics field.
Macaroni
The date note never mentions the year in question.- "The stormtrooper sergeant held the lightsaber used by the late Cerean Jedi Master, Ki-Adi-Mundi." -- this sentence kind of comes out of nowhere, can you reword it a bit so that it works better with the rest of the paragraph?
The final bio section can fit another image.- Review note: the way you pipelinked Aliens of the Galaxy was unnecessary, since it's just the title of the book the whole thing gets italicized. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:04, 26 December 2022 (UTC)
Regarding the date note, I'd suggest rewording it so that it establishes a specific issue of the series in which the battle and the sergeant appear and then explain how that corresponds to 34 ABY.- Ondar's story about Moraband comes out of nowhere, can you tweak that part a bit?
Does the comic really support him having "great skill" on the bike? Also, anyone can knock someone in the mouth with a blaster, that's not a particular skill of his.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:43, 27 January 2023 (UTC)Should be the last thing: I'm not so sure about the phrase "relative ease" since there's not anything to which it's relevant, so can you reword that sentence?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 06:03, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
Minna
The intro should bring up Voss' full name at some point; maybe by saying "the Kendoh Gang, led by Kendoh Voss" instead of just "the Kendoh Gang"? Because in the last paragraph of the intro it just brings up "Voss" as if the reader has already been introduced to him and I wasn't sure until reading a later part whether he was associated with the Kendoh Gang.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)<"As the sergeant continued lecturing Ondar about the future, a recording video droid, secretly placed there by the Clawdite Remex Io of the Kendoh Gang was being monitored and watched by Io and his fellow partners in crime, the Aqualish Wooro and the leader, Kendoh Voss, from their starship." There is a lot of information, and also passive voice, in this sentence. I would consider breaking it up and making Remex, Wooro, and Voss more active subjects of those sentences. This is not an objection as such, just a suggestion for how to make this read more smoothly.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)Please review a few revisions I made and make sure you're comfortable with them.Minnabird (talk) 01:02, 1 February 2023 (UTC)
spookly
If you would be able to sort the pronouns update for the article, would be lovely. Related resources if you've not done one before: 1, 2, 3.—spookywillowwtalk 19:41, 25 February 2023 (UTC)- I've made the pronouns update since this has been unaddressed for a while. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:32, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
- Cheers.—spookywillowwtalk 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
- I've made the pronouns update since this has been unaddressed for a while. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:32, 13 March 2023 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:20, 14 March 2023 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Liverpool92|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Tobler Ceel/Legends
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:55, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I hope this gets the Inq's Ceel of approval
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS, WP:VG
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- I Cee that CC has new FANs. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:44, 4 October 2021 (UTC)
- It's over Trade Federation! I have the high ground! (Provided you're okay with this edit!) VergenceScatter (talk) 02:39, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nice work. UberSoldat93 (talk) 03:29, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 23:57, 4 March 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 00:00, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 00:32, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 00:54, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
Fan
I think there's room for one related image, like Jar Jar or the control ship.Fan26 (Talk) 03:22, 21 September 2021 (UTC)- Done and found one for the Bts too Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:02, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
{{ForceCollection}} needs to be implemented.- Got a couple of dup links.
- Is the ref at the end of the first "The heat of battle" paragraph intended to be to the film and not the novel? If so, that paragraph has duplicate references.
- Seems like you're missing a word here: "...ordered the activation the shield generators."
- A little more context on Anakin accidentally joining Bravo Flight would be appreciated, it's kind of unclear what that's supposed to mean right now.
- On top of that, Anakin needs context for himself.
- I'd recommend removing one of the instances of the word "general" from here, it could be confusing which general is which: "A majority of the Gungans were not able to escape, including the general, who was taken prisoner on the battlefield and held near the other officers, including General Binks."
- P+T also has duplicate refs.
A little context on Chronicles?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:09, 23 September 2021 (UTC)- That should be everything, I've added context for Anakin and actually removed the parts about Bravo Flight, since it's not especialy relevant to the article topic Commander Code-8 Hello There! 06:05, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
It is better to establish gender and species in a single place instead of both the bio and P&T.- Moved to the bio
Speaking of P&T, some of its info is more suitable for a "Skills and abilities" section.- Done, found some info I'd missed for the P&t too
I would like to see his attire documented under Equipment.- Done
Full date required for TPM since you're discussing its adaptations in the BTS.- Added
Was the 3-star Force Collection card released alongside the 1-star card? That warrants a simultaneous 1stp.- They are as far as I can tell
Whatlinkshere shows me a link to The New Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology, which is not listed here currently.UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:38, 25 February 2022 (UTC)- Ooh new info, thanks Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:29, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 05:39, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
New Centrif
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:57, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): 1011 words
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 02:07, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 17:37, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:05, 7 February 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 05:55, 8 February 2022 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 15:45, 8 February 2022 (UTC)
- Assuming that the intro will be expanded :P LucaRoR (Talk) 12:32, 10 February 2022 (UTC)
- Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 08:14, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
Object
New ChaimTzvi
Two small objections: I'd change "the Human Naboo" to "the Human Naboo people".I'd split the first sentence of "History" or otherwise reword "in order to prevent ... were targeted first" to "they targeted ... to prevent ...". Other than those things, great.-- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:12, 30 October 2021 (UTC)- Done, though I just reworded that first sentence instead. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:26, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
OOM
"Toward" is preferred over "towards" in formal writing- Done
"eight battle droids, four heavy beetle droids, and two Single Trooper Aerial Platforms" — since STAPs were manned by B1s, are the pilots amongst the "eight battle droids" mentioned?OOM 224 21:51, 14 November 2021 (UTC)- The pilots aren't counted but I'm not convinced they should be, we wouldn't go out of our way to specify that the TIE Fighters at Yavin were manned by Imperial pilots for example. For the record the beetle droids are manned by B1s too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:09, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
- Ah okay, your reasoning makes sense, but it still needs to be clarified to readers that those mounts were operated separate from the aforementioned battle droid infantrymen. As the sentence is now, I'm thinking of it as if it says "eight soldiers, four cars, and two bikes," where some of the soldiers are potentially the ones on the vehicles rather than being on foot. Perhaps it would be better to say something like "eight battle droids, four heavy beetle droid units, and two Single Trooper Aerial Platform units"? OOM 224 17:29, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
- Done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 00:13, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- Ah okay, your reasoning makes sense, but it still needs to be clarified to readers that those mounts were operated separate from the aforementioned battle droid infantrymen. As the sentence is now, I'm thinking of it as if it says "eight soldiers, four cars, and two bikes," where some of the soldiers are potentially the ones on the vehicles rather than being on foot. Perhaps it would be better to say something like "eight battle droids, four heavy beetle droid units, and two Single Trooper Aerial Platform units"? OOM 224 17:29, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
- The pilots aren't counted but I'm not convinced they should be, we wouldn't go out of our way to specify that the TIE Fighters at Yavin were manned by Imperial pilots for example. For the record the beetle droids are manned by B1s too. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:09, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
BTS can support an image. Is it possible to get a shot from this "original version," or a scan from the guide showcasing the difference in structures?- Added Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:05, 7 February 2022 (UTC)
Luca
You repeat the word "path" seven times, could you change a few of them?LucaRoR (Talk) 06:49, 8 February 2022 (UTC)- Thesaurus time, done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:04, 10 February 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- There are currently 993 words, by my count OOM 224 21:07, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- Hmm, I could expand the intro with a little more description of the city. The context of its mention in End Game is that Darth Maul knew that OOM-9 destroyed the transmitter but that felt too minor to note. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:04, 10 February 2022 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:42, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Jay
- Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:27, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: YEET FIRST VISIONS SAN LEGGO. Don’t read this article until you watch “Tatooine Rhapsody” 🙂.
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- First vote on a Visions nom! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 23:45, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
- VergenceScatter (talk) 17:02, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
- Samonic (talk) 21:38, 31 December 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 21:30, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- Great work! LucaRoR (Talk) 07:29, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
- Looks great! Good work. ImpacticForce (Talk) 03:17, 8 March 2022 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 14:05, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
Object
Luca
Guitar can be linked in the intro. (And then changed when a bot moves the page).- Got it. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:52, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
In the body, Star Waver is written between ", while in the intro it isn't. Which is correct?- No quotes. Addressed. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:52, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
In the second paragraph, guitar links to the legends page. You should link it to the canon page and then remove the link from the Equipment section.- Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:52, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
Context for Lan?- Added. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:01, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
It is probably better to specify that they played a song before the crowd roared.- Addressed. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 23:36, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
In P&T, you should describe his physical appearance.- Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 23:36, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
- Great, I've fixed some links in a copy-edit.
- Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 23:36, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
You could most likely link "Money".- Linked. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:01, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
In P&A, is it worth mentioning the fact that he could use a lightsaber? Also, a quote from K-344 saying that he was useful with the repairs wouldn't hurt. Last thing, we usually avoid making a one-sentence-long paragraph.- I put the lightsaber under equipment. Do you think it should still be under powers and abilities? — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:01, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
I was thinking about something like this. Mentioning that he owned a lightsaber, and that he could use it. I'm not sure, however, if he has ever used it in the episode.LucaRoR (Talk) 05:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)- How is it now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- I’ll find the K-344 quote and add it later, and also fix the one-sentence paragraph. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:01, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
- I fixed the one-sentence paragraph. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- It's just missing the quote, then I'll strike the objection. LucaRoR (Talk) 19:20, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Added! Thanks for all the helpful feedback! :D -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:30, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- It's just missing the quote, then I'll strike the objection. LucaRoR (Talk) 19:20, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- I fixed the one-sentence paragraph. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- I put the lightsaber under equipment. Do you think it should still be under powers and abilities? — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:01, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
In the Equipment section, the fact that he could play guitar feels out of place. You have already mentioned it in the P&A section: I'd just remove it…- Corrigendum: I would leave the fact that he owned a guitar there. (JocastaBot please forgive this subsection :P) LucaRoR (Talk) 05:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, I did it. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
In the BTS, the date of release should be given to the episode.LucaRoR (Talk) 14:22, 10 October 2021 (UTC)- Added. Thanks for the review! I’ll get to the rest later. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:52, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
- The full date can't be directly referenced to the episode itself. LucaRoR (Talk) 05:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Fixed. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:01, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- The full date can't be directly referenced to the episode itself. LucaRoR (Talk) 05:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Added. Thanks for the review! I’ll get to the rest later. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:52, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
Gamorrean is currently quote-exclusive. Maybe something like: "His lightsaber was damaged when he fell into Geezer's vehicle, after which he used it as a microphone. The microphone was later misunderstood for a weapon by some Gamorrean guards." Feel free to word it differently, this is the best I could do. :P- How is it now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk)
You could probably create a Microphone page…- Is that necessary? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:01, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
To make everything uniform, you could decide a way of writing lightsaber-microphone and use the same every time you mention it.LucaRoR (Talk) 05:51, 11 October 2021 (UTC)- I standardized it except in the image caption, where I use "microphone lightsaber" (and in the body I use "microphone/lightsaber"). I did this intentionally, but if you insist, I'll add the slash to the image caption as well. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
"From violence to vocal" is a nice word pun, but I think it should be changed, since we try to keep our writing as formal as possible.LucaRoR (Talk) 12:47, 20 November 2021 (UTC)
Dent
There are multiple articles on individuals with the first name Jay. There should be a disambiguation page for them linked at the top of this article.Dentface (talk) 08:09, 11 October 2021 (UTC)- Created... and wow, there are a lot of "Jays". I'm adding more. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:59, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
- Update-- I think I got all of them... -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
The Filmmaker Focus links you have on the article should be going to the individual article for that Filmmaker Focus episode, not the series page overall - in this case, Tatooine Rhapsody (Filmmaker Focus). Since it's a redlink, an article for that episode will need to be created.Dentface (talk) 01:10, 12 October 2021 (UTC)- I’m not opposed to doing that, but last I remember, people on the Discord seemed to agree we only needed one “filmmaker focus” page. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 03:43, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, in that case, leave it. I was going off of the fact that on the Filmmaker Focus page itself, there were redlinks. Thanks! Dentface (talk) 04:08, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- I did summarize the featurette on the "Filmmaker Focus" page, and linked the appropriate section in the reference notes and "Sources" section of Jay. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:33, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- Okay, in that case, leave it. I was going off of the fact that on the Filmmaker Focus page itself, there were redlinks. Thanks! Dentface (talk) 04:08, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
- I’m not opposed to doing that, but last I remember, people on the Discord seemed to agree we only needed one “filmmaker focus” page. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 03:43, 12 October 2021 (UTC)
Editor
You need to include the scene where the band greets Geezer on Tatooine before their song in the history sectionI think the Gamorrean guards getting confused about his lightsaber should be recounted in the history sectionEditoronthewiki (talk) 16:56, 20 October 2021 (UTC)- Done and done! Thanks homie -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:53, 20 October 2021 (UTC)
Information from episode guide gallery needs to be added. Stuff like his hair being shaggy and him running from the Clone Wars's carnageEditoronthewiki (talk) 04:03, 22 November 2021 (UTC)- Handled via Discord — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:25, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Article makes no mention of Jay appearing in a trailer prior to the episode's release.UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:19, 10 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 10:14, 10 November 2021 (UTC)
OOM
References- Missing links
- The ref for the rank of Jedi Commander doesn't provide a source for Jay being involved in the Republic Military.
- Similarly, the Order 66 ref doesn't source the episode.
- That ref should reflect the fact that Order 66 was merely a protocol, while the Great Jedi Purge was the execution of the order. OOM 224 22:10, 3 February 2022 (UTC)
- I think I got them all. Better now? — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:03, 4 February 2022 (UTC)
- (Review note: Just for the record, a few minor objections not listed here have been handled via Discord a couple days ago)
My copy-edit- 👍🏼 -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Currently, I don't see much of a point mentioning the lightsaber in the intro. Can you explain its significance as a microphone there? This might also be worth doing for the second paragraph in the Biography section.- Removed from the intro. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:28, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Was it raining when Jay rushed out the first time to confront Boba?- Yes, it rained from when Boba Fett caused them to crash their ship until after he left with Geezer aboard. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:28, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- Better? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 21:20, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Context for Bib Fortuna- Added. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:28, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
"Jay, K-344, and Geezer smile as Geezer learns he is not to be executed." this tidbit in the image captions is missing from the accompanying prose.- Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
"Instead, sensing the crowd's excitement and the potential profit of investing in Star Waver, Jabba allowed the band to perform an encore." This isn't really relevant to Jay's powers and abilities. The previous line already says he was able to convince Jabba via the enthusiastic audience.- Removed. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Either "microphone/lightsaber" or "microphone lightsaber" should be used for the sake of consistency.- Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
For the BTS, there's no need to mention the sources of interviews in the prose.- Reduced the wording. If you insist, I'll remove it. However, it was already in the prose for the second BTS paragraph. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- The source of the interviews is not relevant to Jay, so it's best to remove it. OOM 224 21:03, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- Better? I pipelinked FF for the word "interview", but it's not mentioned in the prose anymore. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 21:20, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- The source of the interviews is not relevant to Jay, so it's best to remove it. OOM 224 21:03, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
- Reduced the wording. If you insist, I'll remove it. However, it was already in the prose for the second BTS paragraph. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
I don't think the voice actor being a "huge fan of both Star Wars and anime" is relevant to Jay's character.- Removed. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Similarly, I don't think the "great story about a band that needs their friend back" is necessary, since that doesn't add anything new to the story already detailed in the IU portions of the article. Same for "heartfelt friendship."OOM 224 18:18, 8 February 2022 (UTC)- Removed. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:19, 9 February 2022 (UTC)
Ecks
The first paragraph of "Losing Geezer" doesn't really mention Jay at all. See if you can sneak in him in a place or two.- Better now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:15, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
- Better. You now have two consecutive sentences starting with Fett announcing something, though. You could probably slighty trim those sentences and merge them into one. 1358 (Talk) 11:11, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
- Rephrased. Better? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Better. You now have two consecutive sentences starting with Fett announcing something, though. You could probably slighty trim those sentences and merge them into one. 1358 (Talk) 11:11, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
- Better now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:15, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
The second paragraph of "Losing Geezer" needs to be checked for encyclopedic tone. "As rain poured down from a darkened sky, Jay shook in fear, but still tried to ignite his blade and attack Fett." The first clause here is unnecessary, and the second belongs in the PT rather than the Biography. "causing Jay distress and solemnity." Also PT material. "Overwhelmed with emotion, Jay ran out into the rain and cried out that in the end, they were just a band." This is way too PBP. "At that moment, the rain abated and" Unnecessary detail.- Removed rain mentions
- Moved stuff to P&T
- PBP better? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:22, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
"When Boba Fett came to seize Geezer, the Hutt made a joke about Jabba wanting his autograph before enthusiastically attacking Fett with his flamethrower." Why is this relevant to Jay? Are you trying to say Jabba wanted Jay's autograph? Currently it sounds like Jabba wanted Geezer's autograph. If you're trying to use this as an example of Jay's cowardice compared to the rest of the band, it's a bit excessive; right now you have two complete sentences (this one and the following one), and one would be enough to demonstrate that.1358 (Talk) 10:30, 7 March 2022 (UTC)- Good point. Removed that. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:15, 13 March 2022 (UTC)
"Star Waver was performing their song "Galactic Dreamer" at a concert when a group of bounty hunters led by Boba Fett interrupted the performance, seeking to collect the bounty. When the bounty hunters arrived, they interrupted the concert" You're basically saying the same thing twice in separate sentences here. See if you can do some rewriting here to condense it and also see if the rest of the first paragraph of the section in question can be further tweaked for excessive PBP.1358 (Talk) 17:00, 28 March 2022 (UTC)- Addressed the two-sentences thing
- Is the paragraph better now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:19, 28 March 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:05, 6 April 2022 (UTC)
- Special thanks to Editoronthewiki for helping get this article to the word count and expanding the biography, and to Supreme Emperor for adding the first image! — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 15:27, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
I'm wondering if the current last paragraph of BTS is necessary.— YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 13:30, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:YakovChaimTzvi|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Oseon 2795
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 19:56, 7 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:NOVELS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Great work, as usual :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:20, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 22:38, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 20:42, 9 March 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 01:54, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 02:51, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:44, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 08:18, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
Macaroni
Is it intentional to not link air conditioner?- Yes—I didn't know it existed. :P Thanks.
I'm a little confused by the date ref, which says that TERC dates the series to 3 BBY–2 BBY instead of "around 3 BBY" like the article says. I'm guessing there's a reason for that?JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:06, 8 October 2021 (UTC)- The BTS explicitly says that Oseon 2795 is the setting of the opening scene of the first book of the trilogy. Since the trilogy is established to span from 3 BBY to 2 BBY, 2795 must be set in 3 BBY.
- Got it.
- The BTS explicitly says that Oseon 2795 is the setting of the opening scene of the first book of the trilogy. Since the trilogy is established to span from 3 BBY to 2 BBY, 2795 must be set in 3 BBY.
The intro also says in 3 BBY vs "around" in the body.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:10, 8 October 2021 (UTC)- The body says no such thing—it says "in 3 BBY" PLUS "around the same time [as Osuno Whett was doing his thing]". Imperators II(Talk) 18:18, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
- Sorry, missed that. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:20, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
- The body says no such thing—it says "in 3 BBY" PLUS "around the same time [as Osuno Whett was doing his thing]". Imperators II(Talk) 18:18, 8 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 08:20, 10 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
S.T. Bende
- Nominated by: Dentface (talk) 18:45, 16 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: First FAN! Let's hope this goes well...
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS, WP:CREA
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Great work!! I can't even imagine doing something so comprehensive about an author or any real-life person. (Timothy Zahn 👀👀👀). -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 04:08, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:06, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
- Great work! I reviewed it some time ago and forgot to support, sorry :P Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 13:42, 2 March 2022 (UTC)
- Very nicely done Commander Code-8 Hello There! 08:37, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 08:19, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:30, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:40, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
Object
Manoof
Her site notes a pinterest and youtube channel, these should be added to the External links Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)- We don't have a Pinterest citation template. I usually don't add a social media site as an external link unless it's explicitly something we have a template for, unless it provides something notable to the article, which the Pinterest doesn't. Similarly, the YouTube template isn't setup to link directly to a channel, only to a specific video. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
- I think a Youtube channel link is viable, seeing as we have similar functionality with Template:DeviantArt. Will ask on Discord and loop back. Fair call on pinterest though. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- We don't have a Pinterest citation template. I usually don't add a social media site as an external link unless it's explicitly something we have a template for, unless it provides something notable to the article, which the Pinterest doesn't. Similarly, the YouTube template isn't setup to link directly to a channel, only to a specific video. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
Some of these paragraphs are very short - one or two sentences. Can you go through and combine them as appropriate? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)- I understand the dislike for short paragraphs, and merged them where I thought applicable. However, in cases where I felt the subject matter was distinct, I kept the paragraphs separate. Please read the page over one more time and let me know what you think. :) Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
Published works should be Bibliography Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)Regarding the cancelled product and reference 28, I can't see anything there relating to the empire strikes back, the date it was cancelled or that the product was cancelled at all (amazon listing only says "not available"). Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)- The Epic Adventures Amazon page says the "not available" wording, and reviews on the page by subscribers indicate that the series was canceled after the first two drops. That's what reference 28 is pointing toward. Since the series was canceled overall, it can be inferred that The Empire Strikes Back, which was confirmed by Bende in reference 1, was canceled also. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
"Companies" field in the infobox should note the companies she worked for such as Sandvik publishing and Insight Editions Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)- Per precedence with Daniel M. Lavery, Jey Parks, contracted people such as authors or artists don't have those company fields filled out. You don't see Del Rey on Lavery's page, for example. This is in contrast to Megan Ilnitzki who was a salaried employed editor at Disney Publishing, and thus has the company (and subsequent imprint) listed in the infobox. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
- Can we determine they were contracted and not salaried? I would think that level of information would be confidential/private? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- It's generally true that authors are on contract, with very few exceptions. But as you said, such level of information would be confidential/private, and us such, we can't be sure one way or the other, so it's probably good to just leave the section blank unless we have a confirmation that she was employed there. Dentface (talk) 11:12, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- Can we determine they were contracted and not salaried? I would think that level of information would be confidential/private? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- Per precedence with Daniel M. Lavery, Jey Parks, contracted people such as authors or artists don't have those company fields filled out. You don't see Del Rey on Lavery's page, for example. This is in contrast to Megan Ilnitzki who was a salaried employed editor at Disney Publishing, and thus has the company (and subsequent imprint) listed in the infobox. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
Ref 1 doesn't note that she's american Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:17, 9 December 2021 (UTC)- You're 100% correct about the "American" reference. I have no clue what I read that had that information, but it's certainly not on that particular referenced page. I've removed the American information until I can find where I actually gleaned that tidbit. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
- No worries, will wait (I couldn't see anything myself but wasn't specifically looking) :) Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
Confirmed: There's no source for it. Something I misread on her Amazon page made it sound like she mentioned her place of birth, but not so in actuality. Going to just assume there's nothing out there to confirm it for now. Dentface (talk) 11:12, 12 December 2021 (UTC)Per discussion on Discord, added it back. Dentface (talk) 11:18, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- No worries, will wait (I couldn't see anything myself but wasn't specifically looking) :) Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:28, 12 December 2021 (UTC)
- You're 100% correct about the "American" reference. I have no clue what I read that had that information, but it's certainly not on that particular referenced page. I've removed the American information until I can find where I actually gleaned that tidbit. Dentface (talk) 04:53, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
CC-8
As nice as it is to read about an author's background as a fan, the purview of real world articles is to document contributions to SW material so there's no need to have that first section in the bio.Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:24, 17 April 2022 (UTC)- I see where you're coming from. However, I think in this case, a partial reference to her background as a fan is relevant as it informs her work on the franchise professionally. You are absolutely right though that our focus needs to be contributions to SW material, and as such, I've shortened the sections in the intro and the first body section that discuss her activities as a fan. The content is much more general now and doesn't go into detail about her time spent at conventions. If you still think we need to whittle this down, please let me know. Thanks! Dentface (talk) 07:35, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
OOM
Review note: I made copy-edits for concision and to eliminate redundant information. If you've got any questions, please do ask."Bende found adapting Star Wars comics for Galactic Adventures to be "a joy."" — similarly, "a joy" doesn't need to be separated into a sentence of its own; try incorporating it with the previous lines of the paragraph.Review note: for files, please remember to use underscores in place of spaces. I've fixed them for you this time.Similarly, on the topic of formatting, please ensure that the italics markup are placed immediately around the text rather than including surrounding spaces.I don't see a need to state the ranks of Jedi; "Jedi" alone is enough context.OOM 224 12:52, 8 May 2022 (UTC)- Your copy edits were fantastic! I learned a lot just by reviewing them. Thank you. :)
- I reworded that sentence in the Galactic Adventures section. I hope it's a little better now.
- Files: Noted. Thank you.
- Italics: I adjusted these per what you requested, but in the cases of the quote template, I actually wasn't including the spaces within the italics markup. word'' Star Wars ''word2 is not intended to italicize "Star Wars," but instead is meant to end the italicization already implicitly started by the quotation template. I still changed it though, per your request. It does look better that way, and it visually doesn't change anything.
- Ranks have been edited accordingly.
- Question: The one thing in your copy edit that I want to draw attention to is the addition of "2019" for Bende's Epic Adventures Empire Strikes Back adaptation in the Bibliography section. It seems incorrect to put "2019" in the year column there as it was never released. Yes, the series overall was canceled that year, but a cancelation date is different than an originally intended release date. Plus, the Empire Strikes Back book may have been planned for release in the following year for all we know. As such, I personally prefer to have "Canceled" in the year column, but if you have a precedent to present or an explanation as to why it should be this way, I'm all ears. Dentface (talk) 23:23, 10 May 2022 (UTC)
- Awesome. Yeah putting that year down wasn't a good idea, my bad. However the field is for years, so I don't think "Canceled" is ideal either. I don't know any precedent for this type of situation, but given what you've said, what do you think of "N/A"? OOM 224 13:00, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
- Brooke Vitale, a good article, has "Canceled" in the year tab. If you would rather keep the N/A, I'm okay with that and would be glad to change that page to fit. Dentface (talk) 06:29, 12 May 2022 (UTC)
- Awesome. Yeah putting that year down wasn't a good idea, my bad. However the field is for years, so I don't think "Canceled" is ideal either. I don't know any precedent for this type of situation, but given what you've said, what do you think of "N/A"? OOM 224 13:00, 11 May 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
I'm not a fan of the teeny-tiny Beginnings section. It can probably be merged with the one below it. The same goes for the ESB section and Galactic Tales - there's no reason why they need their own sections.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:10, 18 May 2022 (UTC)- I'm not normally a fan of teeny-tiny article sections either, but considering the subject matter is so drastically different between the sections, I'm inclined to keep them the way they are. Per the Layout Guide, "Two to three paragraphs of prose per section usually works well, but this is by no means a hard rule." I get where you and the Layout Guide are coming from, it's not super-duper pretty to have short sections, but in my opinion, in this specific case, it's easier for a reader to have the subject matter delineated like this.
- I absolutely agree with your point on the ESB section though, and I've merged it in accordingly. But for the Beginnings section and Galactic Tales, since they're completely different subject matters from the adjacent sections, I'm hesitant to merge them in. If the adjacent sections were also teeny tiny, I'd agree and would merge them in to be a sort of "catch-all" section, but since the neighboring sections are a little longer, I feel that it'd take away from the reading experience for 80% of a section to be about one subject and then immediately transition to something else.
- If you want to have more of a discussion about this, I'm more than happy to. I'm open to hearing more about your perspective. :) Dentface (talk) 23:19, 19 May 2022 (UTC)
- I'm happy to give in on the Galactic Tales one, but the beginnings one is really so small I'm inclined to push back a little. I'd suggest something like "Beginnings and Prequel Trilogy Stories". JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:59, 23 May 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:30, 25 May 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Dentface|]]
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Anj Zavor
- Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:08, 17 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: One of very few (if not the only) article I'm aware of that is CA length in Legends and FA length in canon.
- WookieeProject (optional):
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- A friend of Raddus is a friend of mine. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:05, 20 October 2021 (UTC)
- VergenceScatter (talk) 07:11, 9 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 22:23, 14 November 2021 (UTC)
- Liverpool92 03:04, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 14:34, 23 January 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 23:49, 28 February 2022 (UTC)
- AmazinglyCool (talk) 00:02, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
OOM
Date ref: "As the mission to Ryloth takes place between these two events" — according to what source(s)?OOM 224 21:29, 14 November 2021 (UTC)- How does it look now? Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:13, 14 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 00:50, 1 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Ayrehead02|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Bakkar
- Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 21:49, 21 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: FAN #2, canon this time. Thanks to Fred for help with the GE parts!
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:GE, WP:NOVELS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- OOM 224 17:30, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 07:24, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 18:44, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- Samonic (Talk) 18:45, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- smol copy-edit Fan26 (Talk) 18:57, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- Ngl, when I first saw the guy's pic, I thought he was an OOU person. LucaRoR (Talk) 19:04, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- A very fun read for prior to lunch!—spookywillowwtalk 19:05, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
OOM
One thing that stands out to me here (other than that redlink :P) is that the intro doesn't mention Bakkar's P&T, so I think that should be mentionedGrammatical errors in the last sentence, BTSOOM 224 22:09, 14 November 2021 (UTC)- Not sure of what you speak. Please elaborate. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:09, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
- "like used in The Official Black Spire Outpost Cookbook,[2] this article presents the former's as the canonical depiction." — "Like used" and "former's" don't work in this line here. OOM 224 18:28, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- How's that? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:54, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- That's better
- How's that? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:54, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- "like used in The Official Black Spire Outpost Cookbook,[2] this article presents the former's as the canonical depiction." — "Like used" and "former's" don't work in this line here. OOM 224 18:28, 16 November 2021 (UTC)
- Not sure of what you speak. Please elaborate. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:09, 15 November 2021 (UTC)
Please see if you're okay with this edit of mineOOM 224 22:38, 16 November 2021 (UTC)- I am, thanks. Just a reminder though, I prefer to leave this type of sentence without a ref.
Also, "dreaming of selling his family's famous meat on another Outer Rim Territories planet" sounds like good P&T materialOOM 224 22:43, 16 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:18, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
Is there an "on" missing in the quote used for "Skills and abilities"?MasterFred(talk) 04:40, 15 January 2022 (UTC)- I'm assuming you mean "to". Fixed. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:55, 16 January 2022 (UTC)
One has to have a proper meal before reviewing a nom by JMM
You're linking to a Legends article, droid builder.Imperators II(Talk) 11:20, 7 March 2022 (UTC)- Removed, thanks. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:58, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- Would be nice to get a picture of his from the Cookbook and add it to the BtS. Stake black msg 13:50, 22 October 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, will add when I get back home on Sunday. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:22, 22 October 2021 (UTC)
- There we go. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:36, 28 October 2021 (UTC)
- Yeah, will add when I get back home on Sunday. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:22, 22 October 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:07, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:JediMasterMacaroni|]]
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Abhean/Legends
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 08:23, 22 October 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:49, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
- OOM 224 16:42, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 14:20, 14 December 2021 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 00:27, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 00:49, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
- I'm a FAN of this FAN. Samonic (Ah, yes. The negotiator.) 07:58, 6 March 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 10:21, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 10:34, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Reduxed Featured article. The result of the discussion was Featured article status kept. Please do not modify the page.
XoXaan (Redux review)
- Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 131.
- Date added: October 24, 2021
===(+4) (Inquisitorius votes only)===
Support
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:52, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 13:40, 6 May 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:22, 5 July 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) (he/him) 17:43, 14 July 2022 (UTC)
Object
UberSoldat
Why isn't there a death date in the infobox? It's not incorrect to provide a range there."More than four thousand years passed, and eventually, XoXaan's wait ended around 17 BBY, Korriban with the arrival of A'Sharad Hett...." This doesn't read right.Context for Coruscant, Cade Skywalker, and Had Abbadon.The Equipment image is of rather low quality and I would like to see it replaced.If the discrepancy regarding her appearance in multiple sources is already documented in-universe, then I believe it is unnecessary to mention it again in the BTS. I also think that illustration should be documented under Biography instead of Equipment.BTS can use an image of the comic.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:39, 29 April 2022 (UTC)Please format the Lost Tribe of the Sith comic titles as per the Manual of Style.UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:09, 30 April 2022 (UTC)Since the article has undergone a ton of expansions, I'm assuming there's nothing else pending now?Can we get some more sectioning for "A newfound empire"? It is 5 paragraphs long currently, I do feel like the Book of Sith and Force ghost stuff can be spun off into its own section.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:14, 4 May 2022 (UTC)
SE
"with the Dark Jedi leadership's horrid creations requiring" What creations?Supreme Emperor Holocomm 16:18, 30 June 2022 (UTC)
Comments
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Parrlay
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 Hello There! 10:55, 4 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Pearly, parsnip, parsley, partner…
- WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Video Games
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 02:17, 7 November 2021 (UTC)
- Completing the Beachhead trilogy. UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:13, 18 February 2022 (UTC)
- Samonic (Talk) 20:18, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- Sorry, I forgot I had objections here: Great work! LucaRoR (Talk) 21:08, 14 March 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 07:47, 15 March 2022 (UTC)
- Goodmind (talk) 20:55, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor Holocomm 22:45, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
Luca
Category:Destroyed cities?- Done
I'd say the intro can use a paragraph break.- Done
Inside the Worlds of Star Wars: Episode I apparently describes a statue located in the city, so isn't that at least an {{Imo}}?- Parrlay isn't mentioned in the book, that reference is only there to give context for the builders of that type of statue, as that information isn't provided in Galactic Battlegrounds
Make sure to be ok with my copy-edit.LucaRoR (Talk) 08:33, 3 March 2022 (UTC)- All good Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:06, 7 March 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:45, 16 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Commander Code-8|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Drolen Antig
- Nominated by: OOM 224 22:12, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Otter never got to see this through to the end. Previous noms.
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(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- — Samonic 20:11, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:22, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
- Read this on the GAN way back. 1358 (Talk) 08:58, 16 April 2022 (UTC)
- LucaRoR (Talk) 06:50, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 04:24, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 14:21, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
- Fan26 (Talk) 01:12, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
Object
UberSoldat
Species and gender are established in the body twice in separate places; once is enough.UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:19, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
Luca
Some context for the Kuat Drive Yards in the intro would be nice."mistakenly referred to as orange-red by Cracken's dossier" while this is certainly important BTS information, I don't think it should be included in the body also because, in real life, there are several animals that change color with the seasons.- Removed "mistakenly"
I think "Kuat Drive Yards" could go in affiliation.Is Drolen Antig's crew notable enough for a page?LucaRoR (Talk) 10:19, 20 April 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
I don't think the P+T and BTS need to mention the red-orange thing - it's either an IU error or OOU one, not both.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:36, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:25, 27 April 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:OOM 224|]]
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Wrobie Tyce
- Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:35, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I get two FAN slots now! Shodu has been bumped back in the schedule so here's one for WP:PRIDE :)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:PRIDE, WP:NOVELS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 13:57, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
- Very nice work! Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:16, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- Tomeito 16:09, 16 February 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 08:19, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 17:57, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
- No relation to Obie Trice? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 07:07, 21 May 2022 (UTC)
- Imperators II(Talk) 18:32, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
Object
Ayrehead
Initial stuff, I think the intro could be about a paragraph longer with a little more detail on stuff like the battle since you don't even currently mention who they're fighting anywhere.Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:23, 17 November 2021 (UTC)- Expanded the second one, how's that?
- I'd add the Leia mourning scene mentioned below. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added.
- I'd add the Leia mourning scene mentioned below. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
- Expanded the second one, how's that?
I'd say there's room for a couple more pictures in the body, subsections with three paragraphs can generally support two. A shot of her at one of the meetings would be good.Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:23, 17 November 2021 (UTC)- I'll grab one or two when I get home.
- Added one, not really another I can add for the Exegol section since there's nothing but her in the cockpit. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:37, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- The Leia info might allow for that first subection to be split, which should hopefully leave room for a mourning image. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
- Even with the split I'm not seeing room, unfortunately.
- The Leia info might allow for that first subection to be split, which should hopefully leave room for a mourning image. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)
Others might disagree, so I'm happy to discuss this, but I personally think it's worth including that the kissing scene was cut for some international audiences.Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:23, 17 November 2021 (UTC)- Added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:37, 17 November 2021 (UTC)
That definietly is Wrobie stood with Aarton Chireen next to Leia's body during the mourning scene.Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)- Done.
I think the equipment section can be fleshed out a bit more. You should add colors to the items listed (the orange is "interstellar orange" per Jess's entry in the TFA VD) and is there a source that ID's the Resistance X-wing uniform's as a flak vest? The Character Encyclopedia and TFA VD always seem to refer to it as a flight vest.Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:00, 3 December 2021 (UTC)- Should be done. I'll get the redlink tomorrow. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:09, 4 December 2021 (UTC)
- Added a few more details, hope that's ok. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:44, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
- Should be done. I'll get the redlink tomorrow. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:09, 4 December 2021 (UTC)
You mention the Falcon at the beginning of the Battle for Exegol section without having previously established what it is or why they'd expect it to be there. I'd probably add a sentence to the planning session part stating that the Falcon was being sent to find reinforcements.Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:44, 6 December 2021 (UTC)- Yeah that's a fair point, added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:01, 6 December 2021 (UTC)
Tomeito
In TROS Expanded Edition, there is a description of Tyce flying a Y-wing. Right after they arrive at Exegol. Of course, I think this is a mistake for the A-wing, but shouldn't the article explain about it?Tomeito 12:00, 4 February 2022 (UTC)- Good catch, added. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:02, 14 February 2022 (UTC)
Braha
D'Qar needs context in the intro and Fabrin in the bio.- Added.
I'd like to see the First Order worked into the first bio section more since there's no indication of what the Resistance is against and what the retreat of D'Qar is from. Heck, they're technically not mentioned till the last bit.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 00:26, 23 March 2022 (UTC)- How's that? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:33, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
OOM
The article would benefit from slipping in a mention that D'Acy spent years defending the Warlentta system, per her Databank entry. That way, readers would get a better sense of the context around the couple's relationship at Warlentta. I think you can restructure the first sentence of the Biography section to do this.- Sure, done.
Card Trader went out of its way to point out that D'Acy was personally recruited by Leia, so I think that's valuable context for the body as well.- Added, glad I noticed that the DB does too so I didn't have to mess around with CT. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:52, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
The article mentions Tyce flying her starfighter in the first Biography section, but it doesn't specify that it was an A-wing until later on.- Moved that mention.
"it was revealed that" — would be wise to avoid passive voice here, since it could seem like you're narrating from an OOU perspective.- Nice catch, I wrote this before I was careful about passive voice.
Also, it'd be nice to clarify that the mentioned events took place on Ajan Kloss somewhere in the same paragraph.- Added.
I'd say it's clearer to give the context for Finn as a Resistance member rather than as a former stormtrooper. When you mention Jannah later on, maybe you can say that she's Finn's crewmate?Not sure if there's really a need to mention Rey. At least Seftin Vanik doesn't.- I don't think it hurts, especially since these pilots directly benefited from her intel.
I know you like the Mon Cals, but there really isn't a need to mention Aftab's species :PGiven that flying through asteroid fields was such a big deal in the OT, I think it's worth mentioning that in Skills and abilities.- Sure thing.
As it currently stands, the final BTS paragraph treats the censorship as the main subject. I think it's better to reword it so that it simply supplements the kiss notably being the first of its kind in Star Wars.- Fair point. How's that? JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:42, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
Note: I reorganised P&T a bit during my copy-edit, since it makes more sense to me to make the split between her friendly face and her more aggressive side rather than suddenly making a paragraph break while detailing her support for Poe.OOM 224 16:56, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
CC-8
Where Exegol air team body mention?Commander Code-8 Hello There! 13:05, 12 May 2022 (UTC)- There Exegol air team body mention (or link, at least). JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:21, 19 May 2022 (UTC)
Extremely per CC-8's support comment
Hmm, I suppose technically the Resistance being victorious of the Xystons, not just the Steadfast, is intro-exclusive.- Added.
"Tyce and the Resistance starfighters flew to Exegol using instructions provided by the Jedi-in-training Rey." — do you think "directions" would be more appropriate than "instructions" here?Imperators II(Talk) 11:32, 26 May 2022 (UTC)- Indeed, switched. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:04, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:32, 26 May 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:JediMasterMacaroni|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Antipose
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 19:37, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:COMICS
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
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Support
- JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 16:43, 5 December 2021 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:00, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- — Samonic (Talk) 13:31, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Very nice! LucaRoR (Talk) 14:17, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 15:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 00:37, 23 March 2022 (UTC)
- OOM 224 16:15, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
Object
Comments
- A question has been raised as to why the formatting of "The Power Gem" differs in this article between Appearances and referencing. The comic was originally published in a newspaper comic strip format, so there's no applicable citation template to use in Appearances. As for the references, I decided to implement the short story citation template for the Epic Collection volume since there are some subjects out there for whom information would have to be cited to the different incarnations of "The Power Gem" (see Junkfort Station cantina for an example). I would also have had to use the specific instance of the {{Shortstory}} reference pointing to the Epic Collection on this article anyway—for example, for the fact that its sun was at one point occulted. Since this article, unlike the aforementioned cantina example, does not have any information specific to the older publications, I decided to just go by with the "reference sparingly" recommendation of the Sourcing policy and just use the Epic Collection reference for all instances of "The Power Gem" references in the article. Imperators II(Talk) 19:56, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 16:15, 25 March 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:Imperators II|]]
- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.[[Category:Wookieepedia Featured article nomination pages archive/2022|]]
Darth Bane
- Nominated by: Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:46, 27 November 2021 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Long have I waited…
- WookieeProject (optional): WookieeProject: The Clone Wars
(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- Welcome baaaaaaaaack! UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:11, 20 December 2021 (UTC)
- Awesome! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 00:26, 23 December 2021 (UTC)
- Per above! :P OOM 224 00:44, 24 December 2021 (UTC)
- Welcome back! Supreme Emperor Holocomm 22:44, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- 01miki10 Open comlink 22:59, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- Welcome back Anil! Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 23:12, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 23:56, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
Object
OOM
Welcome back, Anil! I believe the only interaction we've had before was when you reviewed my first nom some time ago, so I thought I'd return the favour here :P- "a pattern that nearly all Sith repeated afterward" — could clarify what "pattern" refers to here, since readers might think that it means dueling on the planet Ambria specifically.
- I think the part about Force Priestesses in the BTS can safely be considered canonical information and thus moved to the Biography section.
- For the Darth Bane Trilogy, I don't see a need to list the individual novels of the series.
- Context for Mortis? OOM 224 17:45, 4 December 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Did Sidious write more than one book in his lifetime? That would determine whether or not there needs to be a comma before The Secrets of the Sith.First Order should be connected to Snoke and Ren. Right now, it's introduced out of nowhere.Infobox says "Pale" skin while P&T says "fair."Air date for "Sacrifice" should be included, but I don't feel as strongly about it for "Ghosts of Mortis."Precedent is to cite the latest edition of a book if it still holds all the info from the older edition(s) (e.g. Ultimate Star Wars, New Edition).UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:21, 13 December 2021 (UTC)- Addressed via Discord. UberSoldat93 (talk) 18:32, 19 December 2021 (UTC)
Macaroni
- This looks really great, Anil.
Just one thing from me: the bts does not make clear that Sacrifice was Bane's first canonical appearance in the new Star Wars canon.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:49, 22 December 2021 (UTC)- Addressed. And thank you :) Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:09, 23 December 2021 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 23:56, 1 January 2022 (UTC)
[[Category:Archived nominations by User:AnilSerifoglu|]]