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'''Comments'''
  
'''Comments'''
 
*The BtS section is as large and detailed as it can be, and the voice actor cannot be traced, so please don't ask.--[[User:Goodwood|<span style="color:navy;">'''''Goodwood'''''</span>]] [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] <sup>([[User talk:Goodwood|<span style="color:darkgreen;">''Alliance Intelligence''</span>]])</sup> 02:51, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
  
*The BtS section is as large and detailed as it can be, and the voice actor cannot be traced, so please don't ask.--[[User:Goodwood|<span style="color:navy;">'''''Goodwood'''''</span>]] [[Image:Rebsymbol2.png|20px]] <sup>([[User talk:Goodwood|<span style="color:darkgreen;">''Alliance Intelligence''</span>]])</sup> 02:51, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
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===[[Galactic Empire]]===
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====(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)====
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'''Support'''
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# It is a good article. [[User:Srini|Srini]] 17:31, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
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'''Object'''
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'''Comments'''

Revision as of 17:31, 6 January 2008

Premium-FeaturedIcon

This page is for Featured article nominations. A Featured article is an article that is of complete quality and represents the best a Wookieepedia article can be. It is for fully fleshed out subjects that go beyond the limited content of Good and Comprehensive articles. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Featured status.

The article-nomination process is not a way to showcase your favorite articles, but rather articles that are of high quality. Articles placed on this page will be extensively reviewed by experienced editors, including the presiding Inquisitorius review panel. The nomination process will require the article nominator to respond to objections and improve the article until the requisite number of users supports the nomination.

In undertaking a nomination on this page, the nominator is taking responsibility for their nominated article. This means they need to thoroughly read the following instructions, implement them into their nominated article, and respond to given objections. Nominators are encouraged to ask more experienced editors for guidance and assistance, but self-sufficiency is a requirement of the article-nomination process. It is not inherently the job of reviewers to rewrite elements of an article, but rather to guide nominators to be able to fix issues themselves.

Your nomination is your responsibility. Nominations that severely neglect the following rules or otherwise fall idle after two weeks will be subject to immediate removal.

READ THIS FIRST!

A Featured article must…

  1. …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, with a neutral point of view.
  3. …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
  4. …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  5. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  6. …be stable during and following the review process. This means the article does not change significantly from day to day with new content and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism or other administrative edits, such as page protection.
  7. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  8. …have no redlinks.
  9. …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article is preferred but not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section or subsection.
  10. …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
  11. …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
  12. …provide an introduction that gives a good summary of the topic.
  13. …be at least 1000 words long. This word total counts the introduction, the article body, and "Behind the scenes" material, but not captions, quotes, headers, etc. For clarification, please refer to this flowchart.
  14. …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.
  15. …be nominated by a user who has promoted at least one article to Good article status. Exceptions can be made for a Good article nomination that, due to objections post-nomination, has gone over the Good article word limit, so long as the number of words added during the Good article nomination process is 250 or fewer.

How to nominate:

  1. Select an article you feel is worthy of Featured status. Nominated articles must meet all fifteen requirements stated above.
  2. Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating, and save the page. Please note that if the article you are nominating has been nominated for Featured article status previously, you will need to specify the number of the nomination as a parameter (e.g. {{FAnom|second}}).
  3. Open the redlink in a new tab to create the nomination page, modifying the preloaded instructions as necessary.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Other users will object to the nomination with issues and suggested improvements (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources, etc).
  7. The nominator should then adjust the article until the objections are satisfied. The objector is responsible for striking their objection when it has been addressed, not the nominator. Additionally, reviewers will often copy-edit the article themselves as desired to fix any issues.
  8. Following their review, other users will vote to support the nomination. Users may not vote on their own nomination.
  9. Each user (except for members of the Inquisitorius) shall be limited to four active Featured article nominations at any given time. Any additional nominations will be subject to immediate removal.
  10. Users must successfully complete one Featured article nomination before they can have two nominations active on the FAN page at one time. Likewise, users must complete two successful FA nominations before they can have three, and three successful FA nominations before they can have four.

How to review:

  1. To review an article, users should read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. The article should be reviewed with the criteria listed above, and any issues should be placed under the Object section of the article's nomination page. Objections should be clearly explained, and detail how the article can be improved.
  3. Objections should then be addressed by the nominator. Once the objector is satisfied, they should strike their objection. The nominator should not strike reviewers' objections for them.
  4. Once a reviewer is satisfied with the article, they can vote to support it. Please note that in order to support a nomination, you must have 50 mainspace edits.

Result:

  1. If a nomination has been active for over two days and has no active objections, it may pass with a total of either five Inquisitorius votes, four Inquisitorius and two user votes, or three Inquisitorius and four user votes.
  2. Once the nomination is successful, the article will be considered a "Featured article." As such, an Inquisitorius member will archive the nomination using JocastaBot in Wookieepedia's Discord server and place the article on the Featured articles page. Only members of the Inquisitorius are allowed to perform these archiving tasks.
All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to immediate removal by Inquisitorius vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.


Template:Shortcut

LinkFA-star

The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.

An article must…

  1. …be well-written and detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, non-point of view.
  3. …be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
  4. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  5. …not be the object of any ongoing edit wars.
  6. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  7. …have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
  8. …have no more than 3 redlinks.
  9. …have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
  10. …not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
  11. …be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  12. …have all quotes and images sourced.
  13. …provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
  14. …include a "personality and traits" section on all character articles.
  15. …include a "powers and abilities" section on all relevant character articles, especially for Force-sensitive characters where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
  16. …include a reasonable number of images of good quality if said images are available.
  17. …pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
  18. …counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?

How to nominate:

  1. First, nominate an article you find is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
  2. Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
  3. Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
  4. The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
  5. Also, if, at least a week after the article's nomination, that article has 5 Inquisitor supports and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), it will be added to the queue, and will be officially known as a "featured article".

How to vote:

  1. Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. Afterwards, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
    1. If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under! Failure to do so will result in your objection being considered invalid.
  3. As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors.
  4. Once all objectors' complaints have been solved (or the article has five supporting Inquisitor votes and no objections after at least a week), the article will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article".

Also remember to add {{Nominated}} at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every Sunday the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the {{Featured}} template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the {{Featured article}} template. Nominees that are inactive for a month will be eliminated from the nominations list.


Featured article nominations

Zekka Thyne

(1 Inq/5 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. I put a lot of work into this one; I think it's accurate, interesting, concise and complete. I would definitely welcome any criticisms or suggestions, but I definitely think it is worthy of being a featured article. — ColinmcevTalk 03:00, 1 October 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 04:27, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
  3. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:08, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
  4. Ozzel 23:49, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Yeah, not bad Enochf 04:26, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  6. Janeway 00:14, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. Just glanced at it, but the Personality and Traits should be at the end of the article, you know. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 04:11, 2 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Fixed that.--Colinmcev 18:30, 2 October 2007 (UTC)
  2. Would be nice to have a BTS (Behind the scenes) section, covering stuff like who created the character, where he first appeared, any continuity errors, etc. Also, this would be a good place to include one of those wacky Galaxies pics. -- Ozzel 02:39, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Added both. Thanks for the great suggestions!--Colinmcev 01:35, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
  3. From the Thoroughly Pounded Desk of Four Dot:
    • There's a little bit of POV in the intro, and "He betrayed Rogue Squadron during a covert mission and attempted to kill Corran Horn, but he was shot and killed by his lover, Inyri Forge." could probably be rephrased.
      • I reworked it a litlte bit and removed what I thought was the POV. If there is any left, or if you think it needs further rephrasing, please let me know or feel free to tweak it.--Colinmcev 01:27, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • "Zekka Thyne served on Black Sun" - Sounds dangerous. I think he just "served Black Sun", but I think "joined the Black Sun syndicate" would be better.
      • I agree! Fixed that.--Colinmcev 01:28, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Just a general observation: There are a lot of unsightly "thin" paragraphs. Of course, you can "cheat" on this one and just merge a couple of the offending paragraphs together.
      • This is a bad habit of mine; in real life, I'm a reporter, and in newspaper articles small paragraphs are required. lol. I tightened them up a bit, but if you still think there are paragraphs that are too thin, please point out which ones and I'll make further fixes.--Colinmcev 01:38, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Another observation: The end of every paragraph containing In-universe information should have a relevant citation.
      • Fixed that.--Colinmcev 01:41, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • "eliminate single targets and slaughtering informers and even their families." - This could be worded better.
      • Tightened the sentence altogether, I think it's better now.--Colinmcev 01:42, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • "In 7 BBY, Fliry Vorru, then a Moff in charge of the Corellian Sector, was sent to Kessel after being framed by Prince Xizor. This allowed Xizor to establish Zekka Thyne as his chief associate in Corellia." - How so? This might need more clarification.
    • "However, he was well protected by his heavily protected fortress" - One of the "protected"'s needs to be replaced, methinks.
      • Yeesh, what a lame mistake. Fixed that.--Colinmcev 01:43, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Even though you link to cutter, you might want to briefly explain what it is.
    • Take the image of the Bothan Thyne out of the bio and put it in the BtS. Also, assume that they're separate characters. I cite Chertyl Ruluwoor as a precedent.
      • I don't necessarily agree that the SWG Thyne should be a seperate character since both are affiliated with Black Sun and are clearly meant to be one and the same; maybe it's just me, but I think just noting the Bothan discrepency is enough. But I did move the pic.--Colinmcev 01:49, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • "Although Loor attended the meeting during which the plan was formed, he started a confrontation with Corran Horn that resulted in Fliry Vorru punching him in his abdomen injury and smashing his head against the table." - Eh? You might have gotten you characters a bit mixed up there.
      • Yeah, that "Loor" should be a "Thyne." Fixed it.--Colinmcev 01:50, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • The preceding sentence also starts with "Although", which doesn't flow well.
      • Fixed that and redid much of the sentence altogether.--Colinmcev 01:52, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • "With this, Zekka Thyne died." - Too short a sentence, but I could be wrong. You'll want to integrate it into the preceding paragraph, though.
      • I think the short sentence works for effect, but I agree that it is WAY too short as an individual paragraph. Merged it with the previous one.--Colinmcev 01:53, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Mention who the other spy was in the Post-death section.
    • Best of luck with all that. It might take a bit of work, but I think there's some good foundation here. Thefourdotelipsis 09:36, 4 October 2007 (UTC)
      • If there's anything else, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks for the thorough look!--Colinmcev 01:56, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • OK, first things first: Don't strike other people's objections. It's frowned upon. However, you got most of them. I still have an issue with the paragraph spacing. Basically, in the first half of the article, merge every pair of paragraphs. It just looks a lot neater and, well, meatier. Thefourdotelipsis 23:27, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
      • I'm really sorry about that, I've never nominated an article before so I didn't really know the proper procedure. I tightened the paragraphs a bit, let me know if you think that looks better.--Colinmcev 23:21, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
        • That's OK, you know now. Good work with this though. It looks fine to me now. Thefourdotelipsis 04:27, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
  4. Got some things here:
    • In the Appointment to Corellia section, it first says the Moff was framed by Xizor. Then it later syas it is widely believed he was framed. That sounds reptitive and contradicts the above info somewhat.
      • Actually, Moff Fliry Vorru was definitely framed, and accordingly that is definitively stated. But the person who is noted as "widely believed" to have been framed is the previous owner of the fortress. That isn't Vorru, it's someone else who is never identified in any of the source material. So the two references are not related, and I don't think there's an error there.--Colinmcev 01:58, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Also, the protected fortress thing that Fourdot mentioned earlier needs fixing.
      • Right you are. Fixed that.--Colinmcev 01:58, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • In the Spy for Lorr section, the last paragraph needs to be ref'ed.
    • In the Imperial scheme section, the second-to-last paragraph needs to be rephrased. It's too repetitive.
      • Good call. I think I fixed it, but if you still think it needs work, let me know or go ahead and rephrase it.--Colinmcev 02:00, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • The last paragraph int hat section needs to be sourced.
    • In the Imprisonment paragraph, the "Maw" needs to be unlinked.
    • The first paragraph needs to be sourced too.
      • Fixed it.--Colinmcev 02:02, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • In Presence on Coruscant, the first paragraph needs to be rephraes as it sounds repetitive.
      • I agree, big time. Fixed it.--Colinmcev 02:04, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • Also, change execute to shoot.
      • To be honest, I don't think this change is entirely necessary, but I made it anyway.--Colinmcev 02:05, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • In the Death section, "this new" should be "this news".
      • Another dumb mistake. Fixed.--Colinmcev 02:05, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • In P&T, the word "Wookiee" needs to be unlinked. Also, rearrange it so it flows, going from his perosnality to his appearance than his tastes, not jumping around.
      • I think it already is that way; the first paragraph is personality, then we have three paragraphs of appearance, and the last one about his art taste. If this isn't acceptable, can you give me some further clarification on how it could be rearranged?--Colinmcev 02:08, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • And everything from Release from Kessel to Post-death needs sourcing.
    • Good luck. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:24, 5 October 2007 (UTC)
      • Thanks again, I really appreciate the thoroughness!--Colinmcev 02:09, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
  5. And now for something completely similar:
    • Source the rest of the infobox.
      • Is it OK the way it is now?--Colinmcev 00:35, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • There's a few instances of redundant ref tags. If the whole paragraph is from the same source it only needs one ref at the end.
    • Include information about his quest in Galaxies.
      • This is the only one I really can't fix myself. I don't have Galaxies, and I've scoured the Net for info on his quests, but I can't find any. Maybe someone else can help me out here? I'd hate to see the whole article snagged just because of this...--Colinmcev 00:36, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Intro: "Although rumored to be the heir-apparent to Xizor's criminal organization..." Rumoured by who? This needs to be mentioned later in the article and sourced.
    • Imperial scheme and capture: Source the first paragraph.
    • Imprisonment on Kessel: "a spicer term used to describe close enough to a person that they could be trusted with cutting their spice" Can this be reworded?
    • Presence on Coruscant: Needs something to lead into second paragraph, even if it's just "Some time later..." As it is, it feels disjointed.
    • Presence on Coruscant: Second paragraph has a sentence starting with "but". Kill it if possible.
      • Would changing it to However be cheating? If so, I'll reword.--Colinmcev 00:36, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Presence on Coruscant: A brief mention of how the Rogues got involved in the Imperial raid would not go amiss.
    • Personality and traits: "one massive black eye that was slowly fading" is a quote from the narrative, not something in-universe. Lose the quotes and make it something like "Corran Horn thought that it gave the impression..." Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:58, 11 October 2007 (UTC)
  6. From the lair of Hobbes15
    • Per GT on the infobox.
      • Is it good the way it is now?--Colinmcev 00:38, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
        • All the data must be ref'd, not just selective bits.
          • Ok, didn't realize how much has to be referenced. I did that.--Colinmcev
    • Mention somewhere in the bio that he was born on Corellia, if this can be referenced.
      • It never says in either source material whether he was born there or not, so I can't really put it in.--Colinmcev 00:39, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
        • Than where do we get that in the infobox? If it isn't referenced, it shouldn't be in his article at all. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 00:42, 6 November 2007 (UTC)
          • Well, the Corellia reference in the infobox was here before I ever touched the article. Even though it's never stated that he was born in Corellia, I always just thought it would be OK there since his earliest appearance (Side Trip) have him in Corellia, and that was where he was thriving at the high point of his career and lived most of his life. But what do you think, should we take that out altogether or leave it? --Colinmcev
            • I'm all right with it staying, but make a note in the article or a footnote that it isn't necessarily Thyne's place of birth, but it is where he spends most of his life. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 06:11, 6 November 2007 (UTC)
              • I put this in the end of the first section. Thanks for the guidance.--Colinmcev 00:37, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Needs a mention of how Black Sun met its downfall.
      • Did that, and cited Shadow of the Empire for it.--Colinmcev 00:44, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • The last sentence of Spy for Kirtan Loor seems a little out of place. Perhaps place it after the segment about the destruction (sort of) of Black Sun.
      • I just dropped it altogether; I guess it wasn't really necessary.--Colinmcev 00:44, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Ref the end of the first paragraph of 1.4.
    • The last bit of 1.4 that says Thrawn captured Thyne is a bit unclear. I thought it said the Horns captured him earlier; in addition, a little mention on what happened after Hal shot him would be nice.
    • "to describe close enough to a person that they could be trusted with cutting their spice"? This is unclear.
      • Reworded it.--Colinmcev 00:45, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • "Myda wanted to take the offer, Kassar insisted that Inyri must make her own decision, and even expressed hope that Inyri might be able to change Thyne for the better." Who the heck are are Myda and Kassar?
      • I double checked, but there was already a first reference to them in there.--Colinmcev 00:45, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • The first sentence of Presence on Coruscant makes no sense. When is Thyne talking to Horn? It is unclear what's happening there. All it says is that Thyne was about to be released, then next thing you know, he's psychologically attacking Horn.
      • Fixed this up.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • "to look back and check on Inyri"? This could be reworded and made much clearer and more interesting than it is at the moment.
      • Reworded.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Mention why Loor feared Horn would try to kill him in 1.8.
      • Done.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Rogue Squadron Betrayal and Death is an unclear headline. Who's doing the betraying— Thyne or the Rogues?
      • Just changed it to Death. Seems easier and it still works.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • First paragraph of this section is unclear and should be slightly reworded.
      • Done.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • "Thyne instead told him there was at least one other spy in Rogue Squadron, although Thyne did not know that Rogue Squadron pilot Erisi Dlarit was the spy." This doesn't make sense, and Rogue Squadron is over-used in the sentence.
      • Clarified a bit.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • In Post-death, the article makes it seem like Horn died in his confrontation with Celchu, not in the battle following it.
      • Fixed.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • In the P&T, could the three paragraphs regarding his appearance be merged into one?
      • Done.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Is it specifically said in Side Trip that Thyne's taste in art was considered questionable by most? If not, it needs a seperate reference.
      • Clarified this.--Colinmcev 00:46, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Do you have a reference for the fact that Thyne was only referenced in the parts of the story written by Stackpole (BTS)?
      • No, it's a fact but I don't have a source, he's just the only author to have written him. How should I handle this? Drop the fact altogether? I think it's an interesting note so it would be a shame, but if that's how it would have to go I'd be fine with it.--Colinmcev 00:47, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
        • I checked this in Side Trip— it's divided into four parts, which I didn't know, and Thyne is only in Stackpole's parts. It's fine. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 00:42, 6 November 2007 (UTC)
    • If, as GT says, he has a specific role in Galaxies beyond a mere appearance, it does need to be mentioned.
      • See above. I need help with this one because I don't have SWG.--Colinmcev 00:47, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
    • And that's all. Good luck with those. Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 01:34, 13 October 2007 (UTC)
  7. From the ghostly desk of Atarumaster88
    • "Thyne's personal office also contained a secret escape panel that led to a cave, where he kept secret or sensitive cargo Thyne obtained the deed to the fortress after the previous owner was sent to Kessel on spice smuggling charges". Is there supposed to be a period here or something else?
    • "However, Thrawn encountered disguised CorSec investigators Corran and Hal Horn he modified his plan to allow the Horns to capture Thyne." Again, I think a word or a punctuation mark is missing.
    • Source or remove congenitally hairless speculation.
    • Source BTS.
      • Aside from assuming he has no Bothan genes, it looks fine. -- Ozzel 05:44, 28 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Could use some supporting pictures (i.e. of Kirtan Loor, or of Horn) for variety's sake. Not a hard and fast objection.
    • Physical appearance in the P&T section should be distributed elsewhere. Like the intro. I've (and I've discussed this with other Inqs) always understood the "traits" in Personality and Traits to be character traits, given that we have eschewed such sections in previous noms.
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 16:14, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
  8. Blah blah blah
    • How did Thyne become a Vigo? Was he just appointed one as soon as he joined or are there no details? Either way, it might be worth mentioning. Also, is Thyne a Vigo? Or was he just a high-ranking Black Sun member? I ask only because we seem to know who all nine of Xizor's vigos as of SotE are, and he's not included. If he was just replaced as of that time, that too needs mentioning.
    • Although you already reworded it, I think, "Horn was saved when Thyne was shot to death by his lover, Inyri Forge" still needs to be reworded. As it reads now, it's hard to tell if Forge is Zekka's lover or Corran's.
    • Disguised as the bounty hunter Jodo Kast, Thrawn and the crew traveled to Corellia, under the guise that they were delivering unknown cargo to Borbor Crisk. In fact, Thrawn intentionally allowed his de facto partners to be captured, posing as a hired gun for Thyne. Who was Thrawn's crew? Stormtroopers? Just random mercs? This whole part needs further clarification. As it's written now I'm confused as to why letting his crew get captured would help his cause.
    • However, Thrawn encountered disguised CorSec investigators Corran and Hal Horn he modified his plan to allow the Horns to capture Thyne. Should this be, "However, when Thrawn..."? Either that or broken up into two sentences.
    • Most of Thyne's soldiers were not present at the fortress at the time of the assault because Thrawn had arranged for them to pick up the cargo. Hmm? What cargo? The blasters? I thought those were for Crisk, Thyne's nemesis?
    • Doole informed them that Inyri, sister of slain Rogue Squadron pilot Lujayne, was to be released along with Thyne. Forge was a prisoner as well? I thought she was just the daughter of two prison rehabilitators.
    • Several members of Rogue Squadron were present at the time, having been captured by Asyr Sei'lar. This might be just ignorance, but wasn't Asyr part of Rogue Squadron? Why was she capturing them? Just a minor mention could be helpful.
    • If "Patches" was only used as a derogatory nickname and not one that he himself used, it might be better to remove it from the infobox.
    • Not really an objection, but could a quote page be formed? It's always such a good supplement.
    • I kind of disagree with moving his odd physical traits elsewhere, but if it has to be done, it might be worth adding an "Early Life" section where you can mention his parents (their differing races that is) alongside his odd physical description.
    • Any chance that his Galaxies stuff is on their site? Everything else is fine. Nice job. Cull Tremayne 00:43, 28 November 2007 (UTC)
  9. My only objections are the ones already listed here, especially if there is info in Galaxies that nobody here knows. —Xwing328(Talk) 21:59, 5 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

  • I finally got to read Side Trip and I expanded the section with a whole lot of info from that. As that was the final major source for Zekka, I think this article is pretty much as complete as possible.--Colinmcev 01:35, 3 October 2007 (UTC)
  • Colinmcev, I uncrossed Chack's objections, because, after checking the history, I realized that he didn't cross them out, you did. For future reference, the way these things work is that you make a comment when you've addressed an objection, the objecting user looks at the article, checks to see if the objection is fixed to his/her satisfaction, and then crosses it off. If they still see a problem, they'll point it out. Thank you, and good work with the objections ;). Hobbes15(Tiger Headquarters) 02:24, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
  • Yeah, I'm sorry about that; as I said about, I've never nominated an article before so I didn't really know the proper procedure. I was basically crossing them off as I fixed them, but I'll make sure that doesn't happen again.--Colinmcev 23:21, 6 October 2007 (UTC)
    • It's fine. I'll try to look at the article later today. Chack Jadson (Talk) 10:30, 10 October 2007 (UTC)
  • As I noted about, I need some help with Thyne's SWG quest. I don't have Galaxies and I can't find it anywhere online. Can someone else add this info for me? I think it would be a true shame if this couldn't become featured just because this is missing.--Colinmcev 00:47, 5 November 2007 (UTC)
  • Would be nice if you could work in this image somewhere. Aside from the Galaxies thing, it looks good. -- Ozzel 07:54, 6 November 2007 (UTC)
  • I added that picture; it was good to get another pic in there! As for the Galaxies thing, I'm still stuck on that for right now. Can anyone help? I hate to see it stuck because of this...--Colinmcev 00:48, 15 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Hey Colinmcev, try asking some people to review this for you. It's got potential, but right now doesn't have many votes. Chack Jadson (Talk) 15:33, 22 November 2007 (UTC)
  • Per the precendent set by "Eyes" (Rebel operative) a physical description is fine if the character is not of a definitive species. Per the precendent set by Chertyl Ruluwoor (Human), there should be a Zekka Thyne (Bothan). So those two objections should really be scrapped, IMHO. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 04:39, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

First Battle of The Graveyard

(0 Ing/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. It's not the biggest article to be nominated, but it's pretty good. I'm just sad they're no other images, but I couldn't find anyothers. Kilson LOVES PIE 09:95, November 22 2007
  2. It is well written and gives a through description of the battle, shame about the lack of imageryWilhelm screamer 02:01, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. It doesn't meet FAN rule #18 — hence why I cleaned it up and nominated it for GA instead of FA in the first place. I knew that I would be hard pressed to meet rule #18 without adding fluff. Greyman(Paratus) 15:42, 25 November 2007 (UTC)
  2. I don't think it meets rule #7. Starwarsrulez 18:54, 25 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Eh, we have several FAs that have similar leads. Anyways, like I stated above, to add anything further to the article would be fluff and repetitive. Greyman(Paratus) 19:06, 25 November 2007 (UTC)
  3. Fine then, but it needs more images. Starwarsrulez 02:31, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Not a rule based objection, per the following: Unless someone is able to get screenshots from their PSP (which might be very difficult), or LFL releases more pictures of this battle, that single picture in there (compliments of JMAS) is all there is for now. So, more images would indeed be welcomed, but are not "needed" since none are currently available. Greyman(Paratus) 02:40, 27 November 2007 (UTC)

Comments

  • This is about 80 words shy of 1000, but the "Aftermath" section is already full of fluff. I would strongly recommend that the nominator take this to GA instead. Thefourdotelipsis 22:16, 1 December 2007 (UTC)

Remove Nom (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 21:41, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Doesn't meet Rule 18, and only has one edit since 12-1. Hobbes(Tiger's Lair) 01:35, 5 January 2008 (UTC)

Joruus C'baoth

(1 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. (Re)Nominated, after pulling it down a week ago and doing some work on it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:57, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Here ya go, Chack. Nice job! Much better than when I last read it a couple weeks ago. Keep up the good work, and go poke more Inqs to review it again :P Greyman(Paratus) 21:02, 2 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Family-sized pasta bowl of Fiolli
    • Intro does not state that he was in fact a dark Jedi; It should also be mentioned somewhere in Creation.
    • Third paragraph of Creation: It says "this clone" became ruler of Wayland…" but does not explain. The intro implies that he was sent by Palpatine to be the Guard.
      • Still uncertain as to whether Palpatine sent the clone to Wayland or not. Was there an edict or mission?
        • Seems it could possibly be expanded even more, but I'll leave it to the Inqery to judge that. I'm not going to hold it up. Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 01:08, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
          • There is really nothing on C'baoth before Thrawn discovers him. I don't think anything definitively states he was sent by Palpatine, or how. Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Third paragraph of Creation: can the details of the fight be expanded slightly? Not an objection, but a suggestion.
    • First paragraph of Service/Thrawn: "Upon revealing himself to the Jedi…" Would dark Jedi be better?
    • Same sentence: "told them" - A bit awkward since Thrawn was not mentioned as being accompanied.
    • Fourth paragraph of Service/Thrawn: "he would come to him." Not quite sure who goes to who in this statement.
    • Same paragraph: What/why was Skywalker skeptical? Was he skeptical about C'baoth?
    • Fifth paragraph of Showdown: "Luke's clone caused a strange buzzing in his head by simply being near him (a possible effect of clone madness)." Was the buzzing in Luke's head or Luuke's head (or both?) This clears up the next sentence of who was distracted.
    • Clone Identity: I know you didn't add these paragraphs, but I think the information is valuable. Perhaps better suited in P&T, though. The statements, however, do need to be sourced if they are in fact correct.
    • P&A: "He had the power to take control of other's minds, and literally reshape them in his own image, a feat unmatched by anyone before." Can this be sourced? It doesn't quite seem to be NPoV.
      • Better.
    • I am not an expert on all policy here, but here are some thoughts. Nice work, though. The article is better! Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 05:45, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
    • From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • The minor point where Artoo blasts C'baoth and nearly kills him with a laser cannon burst might be important. (on Jomark)
    • The article dances around mentioning how C'baoth got back to Wayland but never discusses it explicitly. Please do so.
    • Chimaera is neither explained or linked. No context is given.
    • C'baoth's ability to send mental messages across distances needs a mention.
    • Why did that irrelevant section about Thrawn's death and Rukh and all that come back? I objected to that in this article's first round of nomination. It doesn't serve a purpose to the article and tells us nothing further about C'baoth. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 00:12, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating Day. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 19:36, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. From the whosigowhatsit of Four Dot
    • The image use could be much, much better.
    • You need to provide better context at the start of the "Service to Thrawn" section. Talk about why Thrawn wanted him, ect, ect.
    • And on that note, the second paragraph in that section is barely relevant to Joruus.
    • Why is there a section on the Ukio attack long before it actually happens?
    • "He began training Skywalker, teaching him many things contrary to what Yoda had taught the young Jedi, such as that Jedi were superior to others." - Unwieldy. Might want to rewrite that one.
    • And in the rest of that paragraph, there's a lot of repetition of "He did this. He did that".
    • I'm not sure exactly how the second last paragraph of "Service to Thrawn" is related to Joruus.
    • Been a while since I read the books, but wasn't there a scene where Joruus took over the Chimaera, albeit briefly?
    • Fifth paragraph of Showdown on Wayland. Again, I'm not really sure how it relates to Joruus. Can, and must be more concise.
    • The last paragraph could use some cleaning up too. Also, some aftermath to his death would be good, instead of "He exploded, the end."
    • P&T could do with some mention of the original C'boath, and how his traits were passed on.
    • P&A could be expanded quite a bit. Based on the image accompanying it alone.
    • BTS could do with some beefing up as well.
      • How is it now? If you still thinks it's lacking, how about something about how he's the first Dark Jedi (well, not really, but something along those lines). Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:37, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
    • This might sound harsh, but I think this will require a lot of work to get up to scratch. If it can be done, well and good, but it's not going to be easy. I'm not as familiar with the original material as I should be, but I doubt, for some reason that every single source and appearance has been mined for information thoroughly, and that's really what has to happen before I support. Thefourdotelipsis 23:48, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Just one more thing
    • General Covell needs a mention by name, a link. The guy C'baoth bonds to his own brain in TLC, as I recall. It's a pretty impressive techinique. Every last scrap of pertinent detail, after all :PHarrar 20:35, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • Image placement/sizing could use some tweaking.
    • Drop the parenthetical statement; it reads more as a casual aside, when in fact it could be stated
    • I remember the TTT being hazy and full of guesswork regarding C'baoth's origins, but do we have to make it look that bad here, too?
    • Is "Guardian" a title to be capitalized? Check the books. If so, capitalize the rest; if not, de-capitalize Guardian of Mount Tantiss in the prose.
    • There has to be some article out there for that redlink.
    • I'm not big on speculative origins of names in the BtS. Unless there is an author confirmation, I think it should be left out of the article.
    • Per Fourdot on the information. Every stated source and appearance should have at least some information from it represented in the article; I typically check this merely by looking at the "Notes and references" section.
      • All non-{{Mo}} appearances, yes. Sources, no, unless there is new information provided in them. Greyman(Paratus) 20:51, 4 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Graestan(Talk) 05:10, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  1. General prose still lacking. Can't support this until better. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 03:27, 16 December 2007 (UTC)

Chris Trevas

(5 Inqs/6 Users/11 Total)

Support

  1. As a token of gratitude for the awesomeness he has bestowed upon us. -- Ozzel 07:12, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
  2. Master Aban Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 19:16, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 00:32, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. --Eyrezer 05:37, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Adamwankenobi 18:40, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 16:26, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Even if his gender is unsourced. :P Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:06, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Impressive. Most impressive. —Xwing328(Talk) 00:05, 6 December 2007 (UTC)
  9. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 08:52, 6 December 2007 (UTC)
  10. Inqvote Good. Fanaticism aside. :P Graestan(This party's over) 00:57, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  11. Oh yah! Victor (talk) 18:58, 14 December 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Source the infobox, and fix the issues with punctuation in regards to quotation marks. --Imperialles 10:28, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
    • Done all that needs doing. If the rest means waiting on a certain CT, so be it. -- Ozzel 09:17, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Adamwankenobi 19:25, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
    • I'm guessing you voted in the wrong place... Otherwise, please make your objection more specific. ;-) -- Ozzel 21:47, 2 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. From the desk of Atarumaster88
    • More thorough external linking needed (Chicago, Illinois)
      • Check. -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "The next year, he did Dig magazine's The Lost City of Tatooine and the Random House children's book Anakin to the Rescue.". A better verb than "did" would be helpful, especially since the redlink doesn't exactly allow readers to find out what he did.
      • Check. (Side note: someone with that magazine really needs to make an article and add the info to the site.) -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Wherever you first use "RPG", there had better be a parenthetical statement to the effect of (Role Playing Game) in case there is one nerd who doesn't know what RPG means.
      • Linked. -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "...conceptual artist Ralph McQuarrie as one of his major influences, as a child and professionally." That last clause could use some explanation because I could read that in an alternate manner and be amused.
      • Understandable. Hopefully fixed now. -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • 4 redlinks.
      • I count 3, with one being a duplicate between the text and the list (the aforementioned "Lost City of Tatooine"). -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Nothing on personal life? Not at all? Heck, if Burl Ives can have some personal life, so can Chris Trevas, who is way more awesome.
      • Burl Ives was a high-profile celebrity. Chris Trevas, while I'd certainly be thrilled to meet him and would ask for his autograph if I ran into him on the street, isn't exactly E! Online fodder, if you know what I mean. Aside from perhaps a sentence worth of trivia from his MySpace, there's really not much I could say. -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
        • You could at least mention the fact that he lives in Walled Lake, Michigan and owns his own illustration company. Given that he's *linked* to us on his MySpace profile, he might even be receptive to a request for interview. That's a judgment call, of course. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 14:26, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
          • He doesn't own a company; he's freelance. And while you might be right, generating content ain't part of the deal; covering what we got is. As for residence, that was an infobox field, but Imp apparently removed it on account of it being "stupid." -- Ozzel 02:57, 4 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 06:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Remarkably un-frustrating, actually. ;-) -- Ozzel 07:29, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. "Companies" in the infobox should really be sourced.—Graestan(This party's over) 03:50, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Not after we correct the policy. But I understand if you have to object until then. -- Ozzel 05:25, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Regardless, the next field is a link to the citation, so I'll allow it. But that in itself is still a stretch. Graestan(This party's over) 00:57, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

  • Is there any way to make the different tables of his work all have the same span widths? I think it would look tidier. --Eyrezer 02:14, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Imp fixey. -- Ozzel 09:17, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
      • I was also hoping to get the column widths the same as though it is the continuation of one big table... --Eyrezer 09:59, 1 December 2007 (UTC)
        • Eh... I started out with one big table, but I figured that splitting them up would make them easier to navigate and be a more efficient use of space. I would have to go back to a single table to do that, and I'm not really sure I want to. -- Ozzel 00:45, 2 December 2007 (UTC)

Ishin Il-Raz

(2 Inq/3 User/5 Total)

Support

  1. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 18:22, 8 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Nutjob. Thefourdotelipsis 07:01, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. jSarek 03:14, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Janeway 21:40, 19 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:17, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Ditch the OOU quotes, and source the BtS (even if the revision of real-world sourcing passes, we still need a source for the fact that it was Wallace who invented the guy, since the book has two authors). jSarek 11:56, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
    • OOU quotes removed (though I think they did add to the article). Anderson added as co-author in the BtS, since I couldn't find a definitive source to say that Wallace created him. BtS beefed up some also. Cheers, -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 17:54, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
      • I seem to recall Abel mentioning they were Wallace's creation somewhere; I'll see if I can find the quote. jSarek 03:14, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. From the rarely used desk of Green Tentacle:
    • Intro says he was appointed Grand Admiral two years before Yavin, body says one.
    • Intro says he died several years after Endor, body says eight months.
    • Behind the scenes: Say what the Insider 84 article was. Green Tentacle (Talk) 13:57, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Azrakel

(4 Inq/1 User/5 Total)

Support

  1. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 00:19, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Graestan(This party's over) 19:35, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 22:12, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:18, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:19, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

    • From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • "Palpatine and Vader's death" is either incorrect or awkward.
      • Addressed.
    • "With the aid of Grand Admiral Afsheen Makati, Azrakel killed Kadann, though later discovered that this was but a weak impostor."—Subtle tense issues.
      • Addressed.
    • Weak last sentence of the intro; anticlimactic.
      • Addressed.
    • "Little is known"—Reword; worn cliché.
      • Addressed.
    • "The aforementioned"—Same.
      • Addressed.
    • "Dark side experiment" in two consecutive sentences is stilted.
      • Addressed.
    • "Series of covert mission"—Pluralize.
      • Addressed.
    • "Preferring to operate."—...?
      • Addressed.
    • Serial commas missing.
      • Addressed.
    • "Claiming to be simply be a"—Yeah.
      • Addressed.
    • "Kadann was among those struck down by his bitter apprentice, before being killed himself."—Specify.
      • I can't, I'm afraid. Evil Never Dies just says "Azrakel managed to destroy a number of the flabbergasted Prophets, including Supreme Prophet Kadann, before being permanently put down. Though the surviving Prophets thought they were now safe, within minutes of Azrakel's death, the Dark Lady Lumiya and her apprentice Carnor Jax finished the job." I assumed it was the Prophets who killed him, but CUSWE has Lumiya as the killer, and Ataru said in IRC that it's too ambiguous to say who did it.
        • It's not what I meant; I am stating that the sentence sounds like it is establishing that Kadann died—twice.
          • Ah. Addressed.
    • Source the BtS.
      • It sources itself.
        • I still would like to see it sourced.
    • —Graestan(This party's over) 01:32, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Pounded Desk Thing
    • "Soon after Azrakel severed ties with the Empire, both Palpatine and Vader were killed aboard the second Death Star at Endor, and Kadann and the remainder of the Prophets went into hiding." - Too many "and"s.
      • Addressed.
    • That's all. Thefourdotelipsis 07:32, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Image:Kadann.JPG needs to be cropped. Image:Azrakel.jpg and Image:AzrakelHS.JPG are distorted and need to be re-scanned. --Imperialles 17:33, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Cropped. Doing my best to get re-scans of the other two. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 09:13, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • A very interesting character. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 00:19, 9 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Hmm. Not sure about this one--reads a bit fanboyish, e.g. 'his past is shrouded in mystery' and such and such, if you know what I mean. Unit 8311 20:13, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Is that the only problem, or is it just an example? If its the former, could you please be more specific? I'm happy to work with you here, but such vague comments are quite difficult to address. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 20:19, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
        • What I mean is, in a few places the prose seems a bit cheesy for a Wiki. employing many techniques he hoped would break the young man and turn him into a mindless slave of the dark side, loyal to Palpatine until the end, his mind made completely empty by the dark side that sort of thing. I can give you more examples if you want. Does that clarify things, or shall I explain further? Unit 8311 21:24, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
          • I'm reluctant to do anything about it at the minute; largely because I'm away and don't have the sources with me, but also because 4 inqs don't seem to mind. Thanks, -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 09:13, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Talon Karrde

(4 Inq/4 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Havac 07:05, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Finger lickin' Thefourdotelipsis 21:54, 13 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. I like it. Janeway 13:37, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Impressive. Stake black msg 22:09, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. My fourth favorite smuggler. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:54, 19 December 2007 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Greyman(Paratus) 01:54, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  7. Love to see it front page Enochf 02:31, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:18, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Numerous redlinks. Chack Jadson (Talk) 16:53, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Dammit, I knew there was something I forgot to do before I nommed it. I'll get those tonight. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Only one redlink left, under the limit. Havac 00:08, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Image:Karrde-closeup.jpg, Image:Karrde-screen.jpg, Image:Karrde-stressed.jpg, Image:Karrde-waiting.jpg, Image:Karrde-council.jpg, Image:Karrde-ambush.jpg, Image:Karrde-Calius.jpg, Image:Karrde-intruder.jpg, Image:Karrde-vornskr.jpg, Image:Karrde-bride.jpg, Image:TalonInAction.JPG and Image:KarrdeNJO.jpg are all distorted and need to be re-scanned. --Imperialles 17:23, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
    • I'm putting Red on it. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Image:KarrdeNJO.jpg is a no-can-do. There is only one scan out there, and I've already improved it as much as possible. -- Ozzel 01:13, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Where's the SWG info? --Imperialles 17:23, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
    • He stands around in a cantina and occasionally directs people to some kind of pilot recruiter. "In 1 ABY, Karrde spent some time in a cantina on Mos Eisley and had a bunch of random jackasses ask him for directions to the bathroom pilot trainer" isn't really heavy-duty info. Havac 18:51, 11 December 2007 (UTC)
      • IIRC he sends you to the Karthakk system to meet one of Nym's guys, then you have to fight against some NPC ships (pirates?), and then he sends you to the pilot trainer in the Lucky Despot to deliver some informationt to her. I think there's a bit more of a story than "go talk to this or that guy to become a pilot". And this looks like he had some more missions before they moved him to Tatooine. --Craven 02:41, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
        • Well, I don't have the game, and Allakhazam has nothing other than the quests which aren't his anymore and the mention of him sending people to pilot trainers. If you've got more information, I'd be willing to add it. Havac 03:29, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
          • Added what I can from the limited information I have. Havac 03:14, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
            • As soon as I find my DVD with my old SWG screenshots, I'm going to look through them for some more information. Shouldn't it be mentioned that he was the leader of the "Smuggler Alliance" organization in 1 ABY? --Craven 18:56, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
              • Should it? Because the Smugglers' Alliance didn't exist in 1 ABY. Havac 23:07, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
                • I know, but I guess the Galaxies developers missed that fact, because the game says that Karrde, Dravis and others are members of the "Smuggler Alliance" and that Karrde is its leader. Looks like an ugly continuity error, but it doesn't have to be the same organization as the one founded in the Thrawn Trilogy. --Craven 23:18, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
                  • Where does it say that? Galaxies isn't exactly a hotbed of background info, is it? Havac 23:40, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
                    • The Smuggler Alliance is one of the three neutral pilot factions players can join. --Imperialles 23:59, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
                      • And the NPC is called "Talon Karrde (Smuggler's Alliance Leader)". The spellling of the organization's name is not always consistent (Smuggler Alliance / Smuggler's Alliance / Smugglers Alliance). --Craven 01:21, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
                        • Worked in what I could. Havac 04:16, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. From ze desk of ze Atarumaster88
    • In "Climbing into the ranks", why does "Karrde's organization retained the name of the Car'das, at least initially" have that extraneous "the" in it?
    • More sectioning needed. For example, "Climbing into the ranks" could have the subsections of "early life and career", "takeover", "neutrality", etc. Inq vote may be needed on this one.
    • Should Katana fleet be italicized?
    • Maybe it's just a bad memory of TTT, but I don't recall Karrde actually ordering Ghent to slip the New Rep's funds to pay for the smugglers. Or I'm thinking of a part where Karrde doesn't have enough time to get to Coruscant to have Ghent write them onto the payroll.-->"In an attempt to salvage the alliance, Karrde had Ghent slice into the New Republic's coffers and divert payment to the group; Karrde considered it advance payment to keep them going until they found the cloning center."
    • Missing period and missing ref: "Karrde also at some point wrote a piece regarding the information he had learned about the Aing-Tii" right at the end of "Going legitimate"
    • I question Karrde's categorization as a bureaucrat; he never held a recorded gov't position AFAIK
    • Please go ahead and spell out Reference #50 in BTS with all three books rather than alter the existing syntax.
    • Where is the image of Zahn as Karrde? I didn't see it in the article. Please add this.
    • Have a Super Terrific Friendly Un-frustrating day. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 17:38, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Ession

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Dedicated to Lord Hydronium. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 18:49, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Greyman(Paratus) 15:30, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 21:09, 20 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:20, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Forest of Goodwood
    • This sentence: "The Battle of Ession was a conflict between the New Republic, particularly Wraith Squadron and the forces under the command of Warlord Zsinj." reads awkwardly, and not just from the missing comma.
    • As does this one: "It was intended by Zsinj as a trap, using the Pakkerd Light Transport facility on Ession as bait, in order to destroy several squadrons of New Republic fighters, including Rogue Squadron."
    • This one too: "While Zsinj intended for Ession to be a mission to deal with in fact a trap designed to destroy the Star Destroyer Implacable, commanded by Admiral Apwar Trigit."
    • The lead quote in the Prelude section needs fixing.
    • Over/under-linking: links to Night Caller, Zsinj, Apwar Trigit, and Implacable, plus a number of others, needed in the main body.
      • I'm not doing the whole extra link in the main body. If it's in the intro, I'm not re-linking it. Also, AWB took care of that stuff. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 04:47, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Please remove quote link to Hutt in the Surprise Attack section's lead quote.
      • That's not going to happen.</Master Chief> Look at the policy, from WP:MOS: "Redundant internal links should not be added to quotes because they serve little purpose beyond making the quotes appear cluttered and messy. Links should only be added to quotes if they contain a specific article's ONLY mention of a particular concept, but even then, it is better to integrate the internal link into the body of the article's text." This falls under that exception clause. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 02:32, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
        • The spirit of that clause would better be served, IMHO, if a link to Hutt was actually relevant to the context of the article. Unfortunately, that relevance eludes me at the moment.--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (For the Rebellion!) 06:31, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
          • The word "relevance" doesn't actually appear in above policy, strangely enough. Notice the part where it says: "Links should only be added to quotes if they contain a specific article's ONLY mention of a particular concept." There is no way to reasonably justify linking the word Hutt into the article another way- that's like linking kriff in the main body of an article when it's used as an expletive. Therefore, the link should stay. Atarumaster88 File:Jedi Order.jpg (Talk page) 04:47, 18 December 2007 (UTC)
    • TIE Interceptor is linked twice in the Destruction section; in addition, a link to fighter group is desirable after 181st.
    • The BtS could possibly be expanded and sourced using Allston's blog. If that's not possible, I'll understand.
    • TIMMMMMBERRRRR!--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (For the Rebellion!) 23:08, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
  • Put it all, bar the BTS, under one "History" section, please. Thefourdotelipsis 23:07, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
  1. According to CUSWE it is also mentioned in the EGtC. Is that correct? --Eyrezer 06:11, 22 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Ngaaluh

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Nominated.Harrar 15:34, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 23:32, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Greyman(Paratus) 01:56, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:22, 24 December 2007 (UTC)
  5. Chack Jadson (Talk) 02:37, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 07:06, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. A few things:
    • "Ngaaluh was a female Yuuzhan Vong Deception Sect priestess; during the Yuuzhan Vong War, however, she became a leading member of the heretical movement among the lower castes of her species, a movement which eventually proved crucial in the downfall of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire." I suggest removing the semi-colon and making these two separate sentences.
      • Yeah I rearranged the intro a little. See how you like it Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Link villip the first time it's mentioned. Chack Jadson (Talk) 16:18, 16 December 2007 (UTC)
      • Linked. Thanks for your help. Harrar 09:36, 17 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • Can we get bullet points for the Affiliation field of the infobox?
      • Yep! Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • The IU consensus seems to be that "Deception Sect" should not be capitalized, please fix.
      • De-capitalized everywhere. Except for Deception sect in infobox. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Please reword "by her mysterious wartime captive" in the intro for accuracy. Vergere was not her captive specifically, rather the subject of her interrogation efforts.
      • Done. See how you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Executor should not be capitalized.
      • So should Prefect and Intendant not be either. De-capitalized Executors. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "As a disciple of Yun-Harla, Ngaaluh was well-versed in subterfuge and intelligence, and it was simple for her, with an honest degree of piety, to locate the heretical movement thriving in the underlevels of re-shaped Coruscant." This sentence could perhaps be rewritten. In addition, please add a link to Yu'shaa immediately after.
      • Rewritten, link added. See if you like it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • The second paragraph of the Infiltration section needs to be rewritten for order and clarity.
      • I hope I've re-written the right paragraph, and I hope I've made it better. Have a look Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • There seems to be a missing conjunction here "When one inquisition into Prefect Ash'ett of the Vishtu Sector was organized, Ngaaluh regarded the framing and discrediting of the Prefect as a chance to install a loyal heretic in his place; Anor was merely ridding himself of an old rival.".
      • Was re-worded with the rest of the paragraph. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • "Ngaaluh was a fanatic who swore to give her life, and did so, for the movement in which she believed so passionately." could be rewritten a bit better, transposing the "and did so" clause to the end and tweaking it a bit.
      • Rewritten. See what you think. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • The last sentence of the BtS section is a bit of a run-on.
      • (Hopefully) nailed it. Harrar 14:33, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
    • TIMMMMMMBERRRRRRRRR!!!--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 21:07, 20 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Rakata

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Accurate, concise and complete. I believe that it is worthy of being a featured article.

Object

  1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • Bad grammar in the infobox.
    • Distinctions and Famous Members fields could use cleanup/expansion.
    • This is more of a stylistic concern, but could we get the large round numbers {e.g., 500, 20,000) spelled out?
    • Links to sentient and galactic history would be nice in the intro and article.
    • "eat and defile the bodies of slain enemies" is POV.
    • Introduction needs a rewrite to correct stilted prose.
    • The article itself, particularly the Infinite Empire section and its first paragraph, should be shifted so as to give a proper start; right now it reads as though it was an extension of the introduction which, IMHO, flows badly.
    • "their meteoric rise to power" seems a bit POV-ish; surely this could be phrased better.
    • The entire third paragraph of the first section (detailing dealings with the Sith) is, if not POV, at least a really bad wording. Also, surely there is room for expansion of this incident.
    • Is it my imagination, or did the civil war come after the plague? If I'm wrong, nevermind.
    • The entire Infinite Empire section reads like a series of disjointed paragraphs that only touch briefly on the points they attempt to cover. Please expand and address transitioning issues.
    • "Elders tribe" should be "Elder tribe" or, better yet, "the Elder Rakata".
    • "Darth Revan and Darth Malak's timely arrival in the system gave the elders a perfect opportunity" reads awkwardly.
    • The entire Jedi Civil War section, particularly the third paragraph, needs expansion.
    • Please incorporate remarks in parentheses into the prose; if it's worth mentioning, it's worth mentioning in the context of a sentence.
    • "under the Rakata's thumb" is POV.
    • Please capitalize the "m" in "Map" for Star Map.
    • Improper use of apostrophes; "Builder's" should be "Builders'" throughout the article when used in the possessive form.
    • When mentioning the "mysterious box" prison, game information should receive a footnote indicating that it is optional. Revan does not have to open the box; also, "after playing with one such device" sounds, well...silly.
    • Kindly eliminate the bullet points from the Behind the scenes section; as well, a link to the Rakatan Band will suffice instead of quoting the item's stats. In addition, "obviously" in the same paragraph is unneeded.
    • Is an item in the BtS about the species from Mass Effect really necessary?
    • TIMMMMMMBERRRRRR!!--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 03:45, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. From Jaina Solo

--Jaina Solo(Talk) File:Jainasolosig.gif 16:21, 29 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Remove Nom (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Thefourdotelipsis 07:07, 3 January 2008 (UTC)

Darth Vader's armor

(0 Inq/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. I'M BAAAAAACK! <maniacal laughter> -Solus (Bird of Prey) 17:28, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 02:48, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. another tribute to the phenominal capability's of collaborative writing (i.e. wookiepedians) and deserves to shown on the front page for that alone. Wilhelm screamer 02:06, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Object

  1. There are several instances where the text refers to the armor as being "donned" by Anakin/Vader. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say it was forced upon him by his circumstances and Sidious, who created and ensconced him within it without Vader's permission?--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 22:17, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
    Maybe so, but it's 93 characters shorter; and I believe I fixed it. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 23:21, 28 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. Did not read it yet, but Image:Empire Vol 3 043.jpg' seems out of place. Those...things in the background are odd. However, if a better one can not be found, I'll understand and strike my objection. Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:29, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
    Perhaps so. Solution 1: Get in tighter on his arm. Solution 2: Pick another image that has something to do with the text near the disputed image, and I can't seem to find an image that fits that. I will crop, and see if that helps. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 00:52, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
    Is that better? -Solus (Bird of Prey) 00:55, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. From the squalid cubicle of Graestan:
    • The intro should be expanded to more thoroughly cover the information provided in the main body.
      Lengthened. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 14:22, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Image:Vader_helmet3.jpg needs source information. Image:WithinMask.jpg needs a rescan. Image:BatsignalVader.jpg needs to be cropped; the frame is visible. Image:Dvbones1.jpg also has a visible frame. Image:A36xo.jpg could use a re-upload with better res. Image:Clone_Wars_Vol_9_135.jpg could use a rescan, and the frame cropped out.
      I believe these have all been addressed. I could not get a better res of Image:A36xo.jpg, so I replaced it with a different image. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 15:57, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
      If you'd like, I'll replace Image:A36xo.jpg with a HD version. Also, is there any particular reason you used Image:WithinMask.jpg instead of Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg? I can highdefify that one too. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:18, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
      If you could, I'd appreciate it. As to the reason I chose Image:WithinMask.jpg instead of Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg was because I can see more in the first one. In the second, you see two spikes, and the rest is black. It would probably be better if it was high-deffied, and probably done a few seconds beforehand in the movie. When the mask gets at the angle where the glare is bright, like in Image:Vader's_helmet_internal.jpg, it blurs the mask. In the few seconds beforehand, there is a really good shot of the inside. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 17:53, 30 December 2007 (UTC)
      I can't rescan Image:Clone_Wars_Vol_9_135.jpg any better than it already is. If anyone can, I would appreciate it. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      Maybe Image Junkie # 1 or Image Junkie # 2 can help you out. Graestan(Talk) 17:43, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • The BtS seems disjointed; I'm not a fan of the one-sentence paragraphs. Please reorganize. Also, is that all you could come up with for BtS information? Darth Vader's armor is iconic. A nice OOU quote for the BtS can be found, at the very least.
      I watched the III audio commentary, I watched the Chosen One featurette, I watched EOD, I watched the little II preview BTS things, and I looked through DAG. All that I found I put in the article. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 21:50, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Could a scroll box be added for the notes and references so that they do not overlap so?
      Added. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 16:00, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Graestan(Talk) 05:59, 29 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Here's where Graestan gets a little more detail-oriented:
    • First sentence of intro should be rewritten. Emphasis on title of article's appearance should be dropped in favor of a sentence more flowing and less redundant. Stating that it is armor after calling is armor will not do.
      • Changed to 'suit.' -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
        • ...and Topwara changed it back. I don't want to start an edit war over it. I'll see if I can change it in any other way. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:06, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • "The ability to be truly Human again" smacks of original research. Wasn't he aware that he could not be fully biological again?
    • Present tense in the last sentence of the second paragraph of "Description."
    • Anything more on the chain? Is it purely decorative, or does it have function?
      • Nope, nothing more on it. It looks as if its just for decoration, but I don't know of anything that says anything for or against that theory. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Mention the switches on his control box. Star Wars Technical Journal goes into it, I believe. In fact, you really should look at that source; if I remember correctly, it offers quite a bit.
    • One-sentence paragraph on the heart should be merged into the middle of the above paragraph.
    • Please remove weasel word "apparently."
    • Vader suffering pain on the loss of his hand sounds speculative. How do we know for sure he was expressing pain?
    • Nix any mentions like "remains a mystery." State what we do know, not what we don't.
    • "As for his hearing" reads amateurish.
    • Paragraph on nutrition has some redundancy to be worked out.
    • "Limbs" has insufficient sourcing…Episode IV does not mention anything about Vader lifting people using only the Force. In fact, you need to check over the whole article for such things; if I find another I'm going to be rather upset.
      • Thank you for pointing that out, I found another similar tidbit and deleted that one, too. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:03, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Remove parentheses; they read like a casual aside. Punctuation can accomplish just as much and more.
    • "Vader's breather seemed to have an automatic mode that could be more thoroughly independent of Vader's will or mind than the unconscious breathing reflex of a healthy Human. This mode was most peculiarly manifest on occasions when Vader spoke and breathed at the same time."—Smacks of OR
    • "The droids spent many days remaking him; the Ubrikkian "Galactic Chopper" DD-13 oversaw the installation of his cybernetic implants, prosthetic limbs, and synthetic organs, and the FX-9 performed numerous blood transfusions and stabilized the terrible damage done to Vader's eyes, vocal cords, scalp, face, arms, legs, and especially his lungs, which had been scarred, and were now mostly dead alveoli and constricted passages."—Exceedingly long and ponderous; break up.
    • Redundancy between the last and third-to-last paragraphs of "Origin."
    • "Probably intentionally missing his chest plate to go for the softer material beside it"—Speculation.
    • Whether or not Kadann is false is moot in this article.
    • The two one-sentence paragraphs need to be fit into other ones in "Discomfort and limitations." There are suitable homes for them.
    • First paragraph of "Lighsaber combat" cannot be adequately sourced…I don't remember Ataru or Soresu being mentioned in that book.
    • Graestan(Talk) 18:48, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
  5. From the Grey of Man:
    • Is there a specific reason why the Appearances redirects to the Anakin Skywalker appearances? Unless I'm missing something, I don't see why the Darth Vader appearances can't be copied into this article to avoid a needless redirect.
      Done. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • No info from Perfect Evil which sees Vader's armor take a severe beating from a lightsaber totting Tusken. It seems slightly significant to mention, IMO.
      Yes, that would be important... but I don't have access to the comic. Do you know of anyone who does who can put that into the article? -Solus (Bird of Prey) 15:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    Greyman(Paratus) 05:24, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
  6. Some things:
    • In the "Design" section, silver is not a "color." It is a shade of grey, which, as a mixture of black and white (I think black is a shade...), is a hue. Try and reword. Later on, you say the same thing about "grey." Grey is not a color.
      O.o Okaay. Done. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • The opening quote is not one of Vader's thoughts. It's Luceno's own prose. Try finding an actual "thought," which is represented in the novel as italicized print. I suggest, "This is not living," the line that immediately precedes what you have, on pg 63. You'll see the difference of how that is an actual thought.
      If you say so... -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • I would personally like to see some kind of description of how Vader's helmet was a "death's head" representation, as I recall this being a common descriptive term in several sources.
      I haven't noticed, and wouldn't that be considered POV or too prose-y? -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      • I would say, no, that "death head" is simply a descriptive term, but I missed the line where you compare the helmet to a skull. That's the same thing. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Unless I've missed it, I saw nothing mentioning how the suit was a)designed by Palpatine himself (I believe it was), and b)used by him as a tool to keep Vader "down," to emphasize his own superiority, though this may have simply been Vader's own suspicions
      I nearly killed myself going through the novels and comics looking for stuff about Vader, and I don't recall seeing anything mentioned (un-speculatively) about those things. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      • I may be wrong on it being designed by Palpatine. I couldn't find anything in Dark Lord, but as far as the second part, from pg. 79, if you have Dark Lord, Luceno writes, "Or...had Sidious deliberately engineered this prison?" in reference to his limitations. Try to include some information on this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:51, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Go through and try to make links for each appropriate term.
      Done. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 20:58, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      • It's best if each link reflects the exact title of the page it links to. As an arbitrary ex, don't just put a link around "Leia." Make sure it links to "Leia Organa Solo." I've cleaned up a good portion of the page in this manner, but try to finish up the rest for the sake of HTML perfection. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
        • You don't need to do anything to "durasteel," for ex, since that is already the title of that page. Just incomplete names, like X-wing should link to T-65 X-wing starfighter. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:14, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Make sure each picture and quote caption is properly punctuated, meaning commas and periods, specifically.
      I believe this is taken care of. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 21:07, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      • I went in a finished this up for you. For future reference, periods should be avoided in quotation captions. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • All in all, well researched. I'm not sure how much everyone contributed, but someone took a lot of time and effort to put this thing together. I especially enjoyed seeing everything presented properly from the Shadows of the Empire novel. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:52, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
    • Thank you. Most of the people helped me get information, or copied information from sources I could not get a hold of myself. Ataru provided constructive criticism, and Gonk helped me cull the speculative parts and made sure that I properly portrayed the technology. The text was mostly me. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 21:07, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
  7. Some more things
    • The first phrase of the intro...was it "essentially" a mobile life support system, or was it a mobile life support system?
    • Per good writing of any sort, when referring to a person initially, use their full name. All subsequent mentions of that person should include their last name only. Make sure you go through and fix anywhere where someone's first name only is used, and replace it with their last names. They aren't our friends. For future reference, you can apply this also to how you link things. It's best to always refer to something first by its official title, for ex, the T-65 X-wing starfighter, and every mention from thereon can just use "X-wing."
      • Okay, I believe I've done this. There are some instances when I used 'Luke' or 'Anakin' after their initial mention, but only to rid any confusion as to which Skywalker I'm talking about. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • I'm still concerned for some of your quotes. You need to make sure that anything you use for a quote is truly either spoken dialogue or something presented in italics that is clearly a thought. First, the Palpatine quote under the "Design" section - can you confirm that that is not prose? Secondly, Vader's "thought" under the "Meditation spheres" section. Simply by the way this is presented in third person tells me it's prose and not a direct thought. That needs to be replaced.
      • I personally don't see anything wrong with 'narrative' quotes if they are presented from someone's point of view other than the author's. The original intro quote does much better than the one we have now, and it was his thoughts. As well, the quote under 'Meditation spheres' is in the III novel, in a section whose header is, 'This is what it's like to be Anakin Skywalker.' Everything under that header is thoughts, except the italics, those are the dialogue. As well, the one under the design follows a sentence that says that 'to the shadow [Sidious], it was…a magnificent jewel box […]' It is presented as what Sidious was thinking. Stover writes some of his stuff funny. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
        • Putting prose into quotes doesn't work because they simply are not quotes. It defeats the purpose of having quotations in the body of the article. Only include that which is presented to us in actual quotations or in italics, both symbolizing verbal speech, be it extroverted or introverted. While this doesn't appear to be "official policy," upon some checking, I've seen others attempt to do as you are doing, and it was frowned upon. I'm going to start CT after I finish typing this. Feel free to ask some Inqs about doing as you see fit. I understand what you are saying, where some non-quotation text can be used as a quote, but this doesn't work for what you are trying. This would work in the form of someone's memoirs, or a journal, for example. And, this may be a mistake, but the quote under the Meditation section is sourced from Dark Lord, not the Episode III novel. If it's presented in third person text, it's clearly a third person/outside description, not his own thoughts. There is a difference. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
          • I think I'm understanding you. I'll try to find something else. As for the quote I said was from the ROTS novel, I was confused, I thought you were talking of something else. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 14:50, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Also, I'm really a big proponent of Graestan's efforts to clean up the BTS sections around here. See if you can't sub-section the BTS. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:39, 31 December 2007 (UTC)
      • If I have understood you correctly, this is done. -Solus (Bird of Prey) 05:46, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
        • Added another section to split up canon and non-canon appearances. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:30, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
  1. Now some nitpicking
    • I'm seeing too many instances where something is linked twice within the article. Link it once in the intro, and one again in the article. Go through and make sure everything is linked only once, in its initial mention, and no where else.
    • You make alot of mentions to minor characters that I personally, having never read some of these things, have no idea who they are. Now imagine a casual Star Wars fan, who probably doesn't know who anyone is outside of the films. Who is Koffi Arana? Xora? Go through and make sure some kind of description precedes each individual, even those most familiar to us; i.e. "the bounty hunter Boba Fett," "the racist senator Strom Thurmond," whatever.
    • I know I've stripped you of some major quotes, but see if you can't dig some up somewhere. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:22, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • I just noticed this. There is no mention of how Luke Skywalker dons a virtually identical suit, sans the helmet, of course, to his father after turning to the dark side in Dark Empire. Significant enough to warrant a mention, at the very least. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:37, 1 January 2008 (UTC)
    • If memory serves, the novelization of A New Hope includes a sequence during the scene where Vader confronts Leia aboard the Tantive IV in which Leia defiantly spits on Vader's mask, and her saliva sizzles as if the mask is hot. Interesting enough to be included. Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:25, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Make sure you include a list of actual sources that the suit appears in, and then make sure each source is presented chronologically in respect to when it was published OOU, not by IU timeline. Upon a cursory glance at the source list on the List of Darth Vader appearances article, that list is not in proper order, so copying and pasting will only solve half of the problem. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:59, 2 January 2008 (UTC)
    • The Appearances list needs to be formatted correctly. And researched a little more thoroughly, I might add. Thefourdotelipsis 07:32, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
    • Now you'll need to go in and clean up AdmiralKadann's latest edit to the BTS Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:39, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Dol Grenn

(1 Inq/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. As nominator--Goodwood File:Rebsymbol2.png (Alliance Intelligence) 02:51, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
  2. Thefourdotelipsis 04:06, 4 January 2008 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Galactic Empire

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. It is a good article. Srini 17:31, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

Object


Comments

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