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Contents

Good article nominations

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Mixer

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Good job on your first GAN. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:07, April 10, 2020 (UTC)
  1. Ben sc01t (talk) 06:41, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:03, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
  3. OtterSurf (talk) 10:26, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:05, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  5. ComicalNinja [Talk] 18:48, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  6. ACvote.png Be careful of overusing commas. Keep up the work, though! MasterCommerce Guild.svgFredcerique 21:57, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
  7. ACvote.png Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:07, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
  8. ACvote.png Imperators II(Talk) 06:54, September 17, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • Several redirecting links, which should be fixed.
  • The intro doesn't need to be referenced, because the article has a body.
  • 21 BBY cannot be directly determined from the episode only, and would need an additional reference note.
  • Per the Layout Guide, the initial air date of the episode needs to be added and referenced. The entire BtS cannot be sourced to "ARC Troopers", either, since the first part of about "Voyage of Temptation".
  • Please resolve the missing backup links.
  • Personality and traits is unsourced.
  • There's also some overall underlinking in the biography, if you comb through it and solve that.spookywillowwtalk 17:10, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated. --TK-462 (talk)
      • There is no release date for the episode, still.spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! It's good to go now. --TK-462 (talk)
          • The OOU air date needs a separate reference other than just the "Voyage of Temptation" page- it can't be sourced to the episode alone. What I mean is to pull the air date from a source like the episode guide or tv.com.spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
            • I answered my previous question, I got that cleaned up and the air date is now referenced correctly --TK-462 (talk)
  • You're in Category:Infoboxes with missing parameters.
  • Human, as the species, is infobox-exclusive.spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. --TK-462 (talk)
      • 'Human' is still intro exclusive. Should be mentioned in either the biography or P&T, as well.spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the P&T, I'm fairly sure him being 1.83 meters tall, or the colors for his hair, skin, and eye color can't be sourced to the episode alone. Likely, need to be pulled from elsewhere (probably, the databank entry used for those same things in the infobox)spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I can't believe I've missed it for that long! Thanks for the catch. --TK-462 (talk)
Shayanomer
  • Phase I clone trooper armor can be added to Equipment.
  • Since there are only two paragraphs in the biography, the sections are unnecessary.
  • 501st Legion is currently exclusive to the infobox. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Mentioning the 501st and Redeye in the Personality and traits is unnecessary, 501st can be moved to the biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:43, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • You'll need make a number of corrections to the date reference. First, Galactic Atlas does not mention the event that involves Mixer's death, so you will need to remove that from the first sentence. Second, you need to use the chronological episode order to confirm that Voyage of Temptation is set between the Ryloth battle and the conspiracy. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:41, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated, both references have been added. I'm a bit iffy as to how they should be worded, but I believe the content is clear. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Good, now you need to combine them into one reference. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:13, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • There we go! Hopefully that sets it up to par. --TK-462 (talk)
          • I've made a few tweaks. but good job overall. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • I would suggest reworking the paragraph structure. You have a big paragraph right after a paragraph with two sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Is there any reason I shouldn't just combine them into one paragraph? I guess that first paragraph could just be removed, but I feel that it adds a bit of clarity so the reader doesn't have to comb through the references quite as much. --TK-462 (talk)
      • I counted 8 sentences in the Biography. Perhaps you should split them into 4 sentences each, it would help with readability. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:42, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Not much of a change on my part, but does that work? --TK-462 (talk)
  • Grand Army is intro-exclusive.
  • You can't say Mixer was assigned to the 501st between 21 and 20 BBY. He could've been assigned before that point in time.
  • Height, hair, eye and skin color are infobox-exclusive.
  • Redeye being assigned to the same team should be mentioned in the first paragraph.
  • His dialogue towards Redeye could be detailed in the biography as well.
  • You should explain why Redeye disappeared and how Mixer was unaware of his death initially.
  • Him trying to contact Redeye is another quote that can be added to the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:04, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • What if I added the quote at the beginning of the page to Personality and traits, and switch it with the one where Mixer is trying to contact Redeye? --TK-462 (talk)
    • All of the above edits have been done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Physical traits need to go under "Personality and traits". Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:44, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! That's my bad. --TK-462 (talk)
          • Great. You may have noticed that I added links where possible. Underlinking is a valid objection, so you'll need to keep that in mind for future nominations. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:52, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • I did, thanks for checking my work. I just double checked the links in the bio and was able to knock out a couple that had been linked twice, that should be all there is. --TK-462 (talk)
  • R2-D2 will need more context. Who does he belong to? Why was he there in the first place? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 04:07, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • It took rewatching the episode, but I've reworked the bio so the order of events is actually correct now, and I was able to add another quote to give some more depth to the page. I think that should clear that objection up?--TK-462 (talk)
      • It would still be better to list Skywalker as the droid's owner, as he was also on the ship. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 05:24, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Gotcha. Assuming I don't have to list off a bunch of Skywalker's titles, it should be good to go. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Going through the article again, you can definitely expand on what happened after Mixer's death, specifically Skywalker, Rex and Cody's investigation.
  • In relation to the above objection, you should list who led the escort team. This would make the mention of Skywalker's droid later in the paragraph fit more into place. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:01, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I added a new paragraph detailing the escort's response, I think it ties things together better. I also added the escort team's leaders in the first paragraph to add continuity throughout the page. --TK-462 (talk)
  • "Redeye was then spooked by R2-D2, but found nothing of note." I would remove this since it doesn't involve Mixer at all.
  • You mention in the last part of the second paragraph that the droids were smuggled by Merrik, but this should be made clear with the first mention of the assassin droid.
  • The quote at the top of the page needs to be combined into one sentence, since only Mixer is speaking. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As he continued his search, an SD-K4 assassin droid attacked and killed Redeye." You should also make it clear that Mixer was completely unaware of what happened to Redeye. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:55, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • All three above have been updated, thanks for catching those. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Hopefully this is my last objection: "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. The trooper then moved to Redeye's last known location, where he found his DC-15A blaster carbine, but Redeye was nowhere to be found." I would suggest rewording this to improve the flow of the sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:29, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I think that should work a little bit better. --TK-462 (talk)
  • There is enough space for an image now. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:45, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Don't you think it should be an image of Mixer surveying the area, or being attacked by the droid? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 03:42, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm having some trouble finding one in an official source, the one I uploaded was the best I could find from the episode guide. --TK-462 (talk)
          • JMAS can get one in HD for you, just leave him a message. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:27, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • Gonna have to rescind my vote, sorry (there are already too many non-AC votes). The revised date note still needs more work. Scum and Villainy does not use the BBY/ABY system, so you need to explain how you convert that book's dating system (C.R.C.) to the one used by Galactic Atlas. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:28, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Actually, Scum and Villainy's dating system is in question, so just go back to the original date note. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:39, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • Similar to my objection for Kosmos, the Databank reference needs to include a manual reference note to explain how it relates to Mixer. Zed42 (talk) 01:06, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. --TK-462 (talk) 01:38, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Regarding the TCW date note, that StarWars.com chronology does not mention the Battle of Ryloth or the Mandalorian black market conspiracy at all, it only dates the TCW episodes that feature those events. So you should clarify this in the reference note like this one, for example.
    • Fixed. Since I don't have the GA, I found two major events that were as close as possible to the episode chronologically to reference. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Based on the infobox image alone, I think you can say that the trooper's armor featured built-in comlink in the Equipment section.
  • Unless there is a source that explicitly says Mixer showed this behaviour, I think the bit about withstanding any combat stress is not relevant to this article. There are many traits shared by all clone troopers (growth acceleration, behavioral modification biochips, etc.), and those specifications belong in the clone trooper article. Just mentioning the clone's fundamental traits (eye color, gender, homeworld, etc.) should suffice for this article.
    • Makes sense, it's been removed. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Per our Manual of Style, articles shall use the serial comma as standard. You can read more about it here if you like. I've fixed it for you, but please keep this in mind for your future nominations. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:12, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the Biography section, Kamino being located in the Outer Rim cannot be sourced to that reference note. You should either add another reference for that, or expand the current note accordingly.
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 01:12, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, this new source you've added, the Databank entry for Kamino, states that the planet was located "beyond the Outer Rim," which suggests that the information you've got there is incorrect. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:21, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, thanks for catching that. After reviewing a couple similar GAs, I just removed any mention of the Outer Rim altogether, as there wasn't really a concrete location other than it's direction in relation to the OR. TK-462 (talk) 16:39, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) There is no need to add links to disambiguation pages in the in-universe sections of an article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:32, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • The P&T image is colliding with the Equipment header. I suggest resizing, relocating, or removing it.
  • I think the first quote's audio can be cropped better so it's only the quote itself, not a couple of seconds of random thumps.
    • I don't know that I'm able to fix it due to my computer, but I'll see what I can do.
      • Audacity is probably the best option, but if you're on Mac like me, I find an application called MixPad Multitrack Recorder to work just as well.
        • Good to know, thank you. I'll see what I can do. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have you managed to handle this objection yet? Tommy-Macaroni 17:19, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
            • It is fixed. For future reference, I used TwistedWave, which is available without download and worked pretty well for my purposes. TK-462 (talk) 19:52, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Would it be possible to get a better source for the episode's release date? The current one is okay, but the link itself is obviously obsolete. A live link is preferable.
    • I can't actually see the release date on that link.
      • I've been looking around, and the only other source that has been used in GAs is the Legends sourcebook from 2013. I've changed it back to the original reference as I can't find a more suitable one. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for the Coronet in the intro.
  • "Mixer was a human clone of the bounty hunter Jango Fett who hailed from the planet Kamino." - It's unclear if the Kamino bit is referring to Mixer or Jango.
  • Context for the Clone Wars in History.
  • Do written sources capitalise "Duchess" when it's written without an accompanying name?
    • I didn't have much to go off of, but I don't think that there would have been any reason to based off what I saw. Same rules apply as military ranks it appears. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Indeed.
  • "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. Mixer proceeded" - Two consecutive sentences starting the same is discouraged, please vary this wording.
  • "Still, Redeye was nowhere to be found" - This is kinda informal, and also unnecessary imo. If Redeye's body was with his gun, it would have been mentioned already.
  • "but was also ambushed by one of the assassin droids smuggled on board by the traitorous Senator Tal Merrik" - Could this context for the assassin droids not be put when you introduce the subject with Redeye's death?
  • I feel like the term "clone trooper" is used kinda late in the body. I think this should be mentioned a lot earlier, if not the first sentence of the history.
    • "Mixer was a human clone trooper of the bounty hunter Jango Fett" - This now reads like Mixer was under the direct ownership of Jango.
  • Maybe it's just me, but I don't think joking about the dark is really a "dark sense of humor" (aside from the pun I've just noticed). Like, the dark isn't a particularly controversial or taboo topic. I think you ought to just say "a sense of humor."
    • ...fixed :( TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm assuming it's a wrist comlink? If it is, you can be most specific instead of just saying "affixed to his armor."
  • "His arm plates and helmet bore unique blue stripes marking him as a member of the 501st Legion." - I think you can be a little more descriptive about the armour markings, considering that's really all that makes this guy visually unique.
    • "blue stripes crescent markings" - This is grammatically incorrect.
    • I'd also say it isn't "unique," as that clone on Kamino also had these markings per the BTS. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
      • Oh, good point. I've fixed it now. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Like all clone troopers in the series, he was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker." - I don't think the former statement can be sourced to this one episode. I think wording it like "As a clone trooper, Mixer was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker" or something could work. Tommy-Macaroni 12:57, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above objections, except a couple I noted. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should never link to disambiguation pages in an article body. It is correct to use [[Duke|duchess]] as I did. Also, please make sure to link to subjects upon their first mention.
  • Links should be specific on their first mention, then get more general. Eg, Nau'ur-class yacht, then yacht. Duchess of Mandalore, then Duchess. Pipelinks are fine for this too, eg, Nau'ur-class yacht can be pipelinked to just yacht, and indeed it should be in the intro. Please fix this.
  • Please make sure you pay attention to what I did in my copy-edit, so the mistakes I fixed aren't made again. Upon their second mention, clone troopers should be formatted as [[Cloning|clone]] [[trooper]]s.
  • When pipelinking, the link is always capitalised. For example, never do [[cloning|clone]]. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above four objections, and thanks for the help on some of the linking stuff. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think for an article of this length the intro can be expanded. You can add more detail from the History, and even parts of P&T and Equipment.
  • Per precedent on clone articles, you should format the name as "Mixer" in the infobox, the first mention in the intro, and the first mention in the body. Subsequent mentions in the intro and body should just be as Mixer. See 1 2 3 examples.
    • Check again. Tommy-Macaroni 11:45, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • Gotcha, missed the infobox. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 19:23, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • In both the intro and body, you need to introduce "Mixer" as a nickname. Tommy-Macaroni 18:32, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above three objections. I may have erred on the side of excess information in the intro, but if you feel it's too much I can trim some. TK-462 (talk) 20:25, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • For the biography, while I appreciate your efforts to create a subsection, you shouldn't have some information under a subsection and some the regular section. In this case, all information in the biography should exist under a subsection. I think we could have the first two paragraphs (up to "began their sweep, accompanied by Skywalker's astromech droid, R2-D2.[3]") under something like "Early service" and the latter two under something like "Death," although other titles could certainly work. Tommy-Macaroni 20:34, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • I divided it again, hopefully the flow has improved. TK-462 (talk) 01:02, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Vitus
  • It should be noted that Mixer's customized look was also utilized by a contingent of clone troopers during the Battle of Kamino in ARC Troopers, when Obi-Wan and Anakin are together fighting in the city.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:01, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • That's noted in the BTC, but I didn't add it to the main article as it didn't seem relavant to the article. TK-462 (talk) 21:23, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay, additionally I'm thinking you should make note in the BTS that there were several clones who used his armor design, since the way it's worded it can't be known whether it appeared on one person or several.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:45, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, good point. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 02:15, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
ComicalNinja
Toprawa
  • For starters, I'd say the Biography has enough content to be organized into four paragraphs, which will in turn allow for a neat division of two subsections of each. This will also allow for an additional quote, if available. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 04:41, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's not really any applicable quotes, but I readjusted the current ones to be a little more applicable to their locations. I did make the bio into four paragraphs, but it didn't make sense to me to have it split right in half, given that Mixer's appearance consisted of one scene that didn't require any sectioning. TK-462 (talk) 01:11, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • I would suggest joining our IRC or Discord channels so that we can expedite conversation with regard to this nomination. It looks like there's quite a bit of basic information for article nomination and formatting that needs to be explained you, which isn't practically done through nomination pages like this. Real-time conversation is much easier and preferable for this. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:17, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Will do. I don't have access to Discord currently, but I'm trying to be as active as possible on the IRC despite work and college classes. TK-462 (talk) 16:19, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
          • Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 13:49, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • The article sources some details to "Voyage of Temptation" that I would like confirm can actually be supported by that episode and don't need a separate source:
    • Does the episode say that Anakin and Obi-Wan are Jedi Generals?
      • Yes. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • The Coronet being a Nau'ur-class yacht. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:05, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Fixed the referencing. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • The article only details that the yacht is New Mandalorian in the intro. This will need to be added to the Bio, but can it also be supported by the episode?
      • Thanks for catching this. I couldn't find anything stating that the Coronet belonged specifically to the New Mandalorians, so I removed the mention for clarity. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm not sure I understand. The New Mandalorian mention remains in the Bio, sourced to a different TCW episode. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:21, September 22, 2020 (UTC)
          • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 17:51, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • The first Bio paragraph would do well to explain that the escort team is guarding against an assassination attempt by the Death Watch. The intro explains this well, but the Bio doesn't slip this in until the second paragraph. It would help to explain upfront that this is the specific reason why Mixer and his team are there. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:12, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro refers to the Coronet as "her" (Satine's) yacht, which is not reflected in the Biography. Is this detail correct? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:20, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thanks, I missed that (clearly). Starships and Speeders conveniently references it being Satine's. TK-462 (talk) 03:32, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
      • This referencing appears to be problematic: "aboard her Nau'ur-class yacht" is sourced to Starships and Speeders, but the term "aboard" specifically applies to Mixer's mission and cannot be sourced to that book, which does not mention him. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:37, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
        • I've referenced it to VoT once again, thank you. TK-462 (talk) 03:48, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • "'Mixer' was the nickname of a clone trooper" cannot be sourced to the Databank. It's alarming how many statements in this article are not referenced correctly. I would strongly recommend going back and combing through this article word by word to make sure everything is referenced accurately. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:11, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've combed through and done my best to reference the article correctly, it should be fixed now. TK-462 (talk) 01:34, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Kamino being an "extragalactic planet" is extraneous detail to this character and is unnecessary to mention. Worse, it introduces an extra ref note, which serves nothing but to make the reading experience less smooth. Just remove that. Kamino being a planet can be sourced to that DB entry.
  • None of this can really be sourced to "Voyage of Temptation," which doesn't explicitly depict the Grand Army or show Mixer fighting against the CIS. The article would do better to word this as saying he was created on Kamino to serve the Grand Army in its fight against the CIS during the Clone Wars. "...Grand Army during the Clone Wars against the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:35, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above objections. TK-462 (talk) 23:08, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Mixer was part of a Republic escort team led by Jedi Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker that was tasked with guarding Duchess Satine Kryze of the planet Mandalore aboard her Nau'ur-class yacht, the Coronet." There are some crucial details missing here. Why has Mixer and the escort team been sent to protect her? Where is the ship going? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:32, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 02:54, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • Where does the episode say that she's traveling "to refute claims of her affiliation with the Death Watch." It says she's going to plead her case for neutrality in the war.
  • And where specifically does the episode say she's traveling to Coruscant? The beginning of the episode merely says she's traveling to plead her case before the Senate. We know, of course, that this is on Coruscant, but if the episode doesn't say this, then your referencing doesn't work. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:32, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've updated the referencing and wording to reflect this. TK-462 (talk) 15:28, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Two things here. Firstly, I think it would be better for the article to just say "to plead for her people's neutrality before the Galactic Senate." Because she notes in the episode that she represents whatever number of countless star systems, not just Mandalore: "...to plead Mandalore's neutrality before the Galactic Senate"; and secondly, just remove the end of that sentence about Coruscant as unnecessary detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:24, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • Makes sense, fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:38, 25 October 2020 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The fact that Merrik is plotting to kill Satine is intro exclusive. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • You need to mention Mandalore is a planet. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think certainly the first, and maybe the second, body images could be cropped to cut out a lot of the empty dark space. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there not a quote for the first body section? It could be a general quote about having clones sweep the ship or something. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 20:34, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The new quote reminded me that you should mention Death Watch in the article since they're the ones the clones are patrolling to search for, plus Merrik is a member. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah, good point. Added to intro and body. TK-462 (talk) 03:37, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per recent discussions, we shouldn't include clone troopers' eye or skin colour unless it's shown. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ignore this for now as it's still under debate. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:42, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • For the lead quote, are you sure it's accurately transcribed? My copy of TCW has it as "All right, men. What's the problem? I'm missing dinner." "We're not sure yet, sir. But there's still no sign of Mixer and Redeye." This also raises suspicion that the other quotes in the article need to be re-checked for accuracy.
    • This isn't completely fixed. The lead quote, yes, but the rest of the quotes need to be re-checked. I just checked the episode again and all three remaining quotes are wrong in one way or another. 1358 (Talk) 14:36, July 14, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don't have access to the episode directly at the moment, and I couldn't find any sources for an episode transcript other than the one I'd previously used, which is clearly incorrect. Do you or anyone reading this have a better source online for this? TK-462 (talk) 02:06, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Will you have access to the episode directly anytime soon? Being able to access the source material is a prerequisite for nominations. If this was a matter of a minor punctuation error, this wouldn't be a big deal, but there are major errors that don't even require the script or subtitles to discover—namely, the first bio quote. 1358 (Talk) 09:47, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
          • Got it. I don't have Disney+ at the moment (that's changed since the beginning of this nomination... it's been a while), but I'll try and access source material within the day. TK-462 (talk) 13:47, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
            • Sorry for the wait, this is fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:18, July 25, 2020 (UTC)
              • You need to re-check the quote in "Ambush aboard the Coronet" for wording and the PT quote for punctuation. 1358 (Talk) 08:22, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
                • PT quote is fixed, but I looked at the subtitles on Disney+ and didn't see any issue for the ambush section. TK-462 (talk) 03:37, August 13, 2020 (UTC)
                  • In my copy, it's "What do you got, Redeye?" and indeed it sounds like he says "do" rather than "have" when you slow it down. Does Disney+ think it's "have"? 1358 (Talk) 12:46, August 24, 2020 (UTC)
                    • Disney+ subtitles do use have. I'm inclined to keep it that way because it's using better grammar, but I'm not sure which source takes precedence here. 03:21, August 26, 2020 (UTC)
                      • I'm going to put the subtitles thing to rest hopefully. I have reset all the quotes back to how they appear in the subtitles on the blu ray, which is where I took the audio files from. Disney+ only gives the option for Closed Caption English subtitles for the hearing impaired, which are often less accurate. I think when there are slight differences in punctuation for a quote, we should default to the blu ray over Disney+. Case in point, the blu ray has the bio quote as "What do you got, Redeye?" which clearly matches the audio. The Disney+ closed caption ones use, "What have you got, Redeye?" - JMAS Jolly Trooper.png Hey, it's me! 04:41, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
                        • Thanks, JMAS; agreed that blu-ray is preferred. Sorry for the delay with the objection. 1358 (Talk) 10:06, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • The second intro sentence is really a long run-on and needs to be split for better flow.
    • Fixed the above objections. TK-462 (talk) 14:21, July 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like you could cut down on the context a bit in the second intro paragraph. Mixer is barely mentioned.
    • Although Mixer isn't directly mentioned terribly often, I don't feel that much can be subtracted without missing important points. However, The final sentence seems like it wouldn't be bad to remove, I'd just rather have a second opinion. TK-462 (talk) 14:21, July 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • For instance, there is no need to mention that Rex was the one who attempted to contact them after their deaths. You also mention the plot on Kryze's life a whopping three times in the intro.
        • Ah, my bad. My mistake, I was looking at the second bio paragraph. How does that look? TK-462 (talk) 02:06, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • More to come once these are addressed. 1358 (Talk) 21:23, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
There's no south in space
  • Why are you referring to the Nau'ur-class yacht as a "spaceliner" in the intro? Those two are not the same thing, and it's not supported by the article's body. Imperators II(Talk) 06:01, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • According to the references on the Coronet page, the Star Wars Encyclopedia of Starfighters and Other Vehicles classifies the as a "luxury spaceliner." However, the Nau'ur-class yacht page classifies it as a yacht and uses an FFG reference. I assume the Encyclopedia would take precedence here assuming there's an inconsistency, right? TK-462 (talk) 17:57, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • For future reference, you should be checking the information in the articles you nominate against the sources yourself or via another user who has the source, not against a Wookieepedia article. Please do so. Imperators II(Talk) 18:10, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • Alright. The Encyclopedia specifically classifies the Coronet as a luxury spaceliner, so I believe that using spaceliner as a descriptor is accurate. TK-462 (talk) 18:41, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
          • Do it, then. Standardize it. Imperators II(Talk) 18:47, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
            • After looking into this a bit more, I believe that yacht is a more accurate and widely used term for Coronet, so I fixed it that way. TK-462 (talk) 06:48, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does Dee Bradley Baker voice all the clone troopers in the series? If so, you should reword the "as a clone trooper" bit in the BTS to something like "like all clone troopers" with appropriate referencing. Imperators II(Talk) 06:01, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 17:57, September 16, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Shayanomer
  • If you haven't already, enable "Highlight all redirects orange" in Preferences (under the Gadgets tab).
  • I'm gonna figure out how to reference 21 BBY. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Great, thank you for the tip! --TK-462 (talk)
      • Ok so for 21 BBY, you will have to replace the timeframe with "between 21 BBY and 20 BBY." The chronological episode order places Voyage of Temptation after the end of the Battle of Ryloth and before the Mandalorian black market conspiracy. Star Wars: Galactic Atlas places the former in 21 BBY, and the latter event in 20 BBY. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 05:40, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Okay, I'll change that on both of the places where it's referenced. I can still reference those dates to the episode, yes? -- TK-462 (talk)
          • Nope, you will need to write up a reference explaining why episode takes place in that timeframe using the sources I listed above. There are plenty of existing Good articles you can use to understand how date references are written. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:30, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • Will do, we'll see what I can find.
              • Another thing, make sure to leave a message below the objections once you've finished addressing them, otherwise the nomination will be taken down if they're left unaddressed for 10 days. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:03, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
                • Awesome, thanks for helping me through this. I'll note yours once I've finished the referencing. --TK-462 (talk)
  • I would strongly suggest familiarizing yourself with the rules for nominations. You cannot strike other users' objections. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:51, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • I read that right after I did it... sorry about that. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Just a heads up, I've replaced the reference for the air date with the old episode guide, since the new ones do not have the air date in them. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you add an {{Imagecat}}? I didn't notice this until now. I can show you how to do it if you're new to this. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've never done it before, from what I can tell I have to add individual images to the category the template is referencing. I would love some help, if you wouldn't mind. TK-462 (talk) 17:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • Done. It's basically {{Imagecat|Images of [Subject name]}}. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:26, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Oh! That easy. Thanks for the help as always :) TK-462 (talk) 17:28, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Deviss
  • Although not an objection, I think sound files for the quotes could greatly improve the quality of the article. Other than that, I see no problems. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:01, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'll work on figuring this out in the future, thanks for the heads up! TK-462 (talk) 17:22, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • There is nothing wrong with the sound quality of the audio files. - JMAS Jolly Trooper.png Hey, it's me! 04:36, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
Lewisr
  • It looks like you can definitively place his death in 21 BBY, Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy's Most Notorious dates Boba's Sabotage of the Endurance to 7956 C.R.C (21 BBY). Also the Atlas dates the second battle of Geonosis to 21 BBY if you'd rather use that than the Zillo beast episodes as it narrows the gap between the episodes, though that's up to you! --Lewisr (talk) 02:19, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Awesome, thanks for letting me know! I've updated the reference note to make the window of time where Mixer was involved as specific as possible, thanks again for the heads up. TK-462 (talk) 04:08, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • No worries! Nice job --Lewisr (talk) 13:51, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
        • Apologies for messing you about with this, but since we've just discovered that we can't definitively say that the numbers in Scum and Villainy refer to years, we'll have to change his death date back to what it was. Sorry once again! --Lewisr (talk) 16:40, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
          • No worries, it happens. Let me know if it needs to be changed again for any reason regarding that book or otherwise. TK-462 (talk) 18:16, June 10, 2020 (UTC)


Crys

  • Nominated by: TK-462 (talk) 17:26, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:23, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:17, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Great work--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:23, October 16, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Since the clone is shown to be blonde, "black hair" and the fact that he "dyed" his hair should be removed from here, since the latter seems a little speculatory.
  • "After completing the robolobotomy, Crys gave a brief report to Kenobi. Crys worked closely with Commander Cody and General Kenobi, with Kenobi passing orders to his forces through Crys." I would remove this from the Skills, since it doesn't really talk about them.
  • 212th is missing from the body.
    • Fixed the above. --TK-462 (talk) 12:47, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • You have a number of reference issues:
  • You've sourced Grievous' escape to the Databank, which doesn't have this info.
  • You've also sourced the battle directly to Galactic Atlas. Like your Mixer nomination, a date note is required here.
    • The Battle of Saleucami page states that the battle occurred in 21 BBY, is this inaccurate, or did I just need to add some context to the reference? --TK-462 (talk) 12:47, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • The book doesn't directly date the battle, so you will need to create a note stating why it takes place in that year. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:51, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the BTS, you only need to source the air date to the episode guide, the rest of the info can be sourced to the episode. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:00, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above, excepting the previous question. --TK-462 (talk) 12:51, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • The Grievous reference is still outstanding. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:20, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • I believe that should have it fixed. I'm a bit iffy regarding that specific case, but I think the references are in a more comprehensible order now. --TK-462 (talk) 06:45, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
          • For future reference, you only need to source words like "Outer Rim" and "planet" to the databank, the planet's name can be covered by the episode itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:37, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
          • Thanks, I appreciate the help. --TK-462 (talk) 14:51, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Missing voice actor.
  • Date issue: Body says "21 BBY," yet date note says the event took place between 21 and 20 BBY.
  • "Crys accompanied Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, Clone Commander CC-2224 "Cody," Clone Captain CT-7567 "Rex" and many other Republic troops and vehicles." Where did Crys accompany them to?
  • AT-TE will need a little context, like "AT-TE walkers." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:48, April 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Ref issue in the Biography: 212th and Grand Army are sourced to the clone trooper reference.
  • "Grievous' landing craft was damaged, and crashed on the planet, although several escape pods managed to launch." The flow of this sentence can be improved.
  • "...before deducing that the droids were too damaged for any good intelligence." Were they trying to acquire said intelligence? It should be made clear here.
  • Small inconsistency between the second and third paragraphs: You say the droid was brought into a tank, then say the group was inside a walker.
  • Personality and traits can be restructured to improve the flow, preferably split into two separate sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:23, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • Since we can clearly see Crys' face unmasked, the info about the eyes and skin in the clone trooper reference is unnecessary and can be sourced to the episode itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:48, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 01:09, April 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • That information is still in the reference and should be removed. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:15, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • I was testing to see if you saw through the lies of the Jedi, you passed. Oh and it's fixed. TK-462 (talk) 08:00, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
          • The height didn't need to be removed. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:35, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro can be expanded a bit to elaborate on Crys' actions. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:15, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added a sentance to help expand on his actions and skills. TK-462 (talk) 14:47, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now there's an inconsistency, intro says he dismantled many droids while body says he dismantled one of them. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:58, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • My bad! That should be the last issue for that particular problem, lol. TK-462 (talk) 17:33, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should elaborate more on "the droids" here: "Crys accompanied the AT-TE walkers, Kenobi, and Commander Cody to an escape pod, and inspected a destroyed B1 battle droid for any possible intelligence before deducing that the droids were too damaged for any reliable information to be extracted." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:47, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. I believe that was a continuity error from the original article that I missed, so I just removed the plural. TK-462 (talk) 17:18, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
Ben
  • Both clauses in the first biography sentence start with "was a." This should be revised.
  • I have some gripes with the final paragraph:
    • "Later, General Kenobi asked if they found any data, to which they briefed him that the droid's escape pod crashed to avoid a mid-air collision with another pod, which was the remaining escape pod that needed to be located." Firstly I think it would sound better if you wrote it like "When Kenobi later asked if they had found any date, they brief him&hellip"
    • The latter two clauses for the sentence above start similarly and so I'd rather see the final clause attached to the part about Grevious heading for the pod.
    • "General Grievous was heading towards that same escape pod, and Cody was able to pinpoint the pod's location." these two clauses don't look like they relate to each other enough. In addition to the objection above, I think this sentence should also be split so that the last sentence introduced Cody locating the pot and then them going to it and a battle starting, if that makes sense to you. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 21:10, May 16, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • "Intelligence" in the opening links to an Imperial organization.
  • "As Grievous descended upon the planet, his landing craft was damaged and was forced to jettison numerous escape pods, one of which included the general himself." The ship can't be forced to jettison escape pods, but the crew be forced to flee.
  • "…a fellow clone trooper spotted an undamaged battle droid." Not sure "undamaged" is the best word choice here, as that implies the droid is working fine, whereas in the episode it's "unconscious." RattsT (talk) 06:02, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 17:41, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • It is general practice for clone trooper articles to establish their relation to Jango Fett in the biography as well, not just the P&T.
  • This sentence should probably be broken in two. During the Clone Wars between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic, the Confederacy Supreme Commander of the Droid Army, General Grievous, escaped to the surface of the Outer Rim planet Saleucami in a C-9979 landing craft during the Battle of Saleucami, following an engagement with the Republic Navy between 21 BBY and 20 BBY.
  • I'm assuming that "it" refers to the battle droid here. However, it is also feasible that Kenobi ordered to bring the entire escape pod aboard the walker. Please clarify to avoid any potential confusion. Soon after, a fellow clone trooper spotted an undamaged battle droid inside the escape pod, and Kenobi ordered it to be brought into one of the AT-TE walkers.
  • P&T. Is the fact that the robolobotomy was performed aboard the walker relevant here? Would he have any less skill in that task if it were performed out in the open? He also had the skill to successfully perform a robolobotomy on a B1 battle droid inside an AT-TE walker,
  • Equipment. Based on available information, it's better to clarify that he was equipped with Phase I armor during the Battle of Saleucami specifically. There is a possibility that Crys switched to Phase II armor later on, so we should be careful with the wording here.
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 18:09, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Keep in mind that "blonde" is a female-only adjective, the male equivivalent being "blond". It is one of the few gender-specific adjectives in English, as it was originally loaned from French. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 12:58, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • I had no idea, thanks for catching that. TK-462 (talk) 18:09, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Image file names need to use underscores instead of spaces.
    • Although I tried to upload a corrected version of the file, the name remains the same. I don't have an option to change the name that I can see, how would I go about doing that? TK-462 (talk) 20:11, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • He means the file pipelink in the article. It doesn't get affected if you add underscores like this [[File:Crys_full_armor.png]]. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 20:22, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
        • Got it. I totally misread that and thought it was referring to dashes rather than spaces or something. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per precedent on clone articles, you should format the name as "Crys" in the infobox, the first mention in the intro, and the first mention in the body. Subsequent mentions in the intro and body should just be as Crys.
  • In both the intro and body, you need to introduce "Crys" as a nickname.
  • Duplicate link.
  • I wouldn't say clones were "born."
  • "intact—albeit inactive—battle droid" - we don't use dashes like that, they need to be typed as "—"
  • Please add a {{Youmay}} for Crys Taanzer. Tommy-Macaroni 18:50, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed all, except one noted. TK-462 (talk) 20:11, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • The biography is looking quite bloated, I recommend splitting it into two subsections with two paragraphs each. Tommy-Macaroni 20:26, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've reworked it a little bit, I think that the paragraphs are split a little more effectively, and the page should read better now. If you have any issues with how it looks I'm happy to take another look at it of course. TK-462 (talk) 00:53, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now you have a tiny sentence for one subsection and three massive paragraphs for the second. Ideally, the subsections should be the same length. Furthermore, you don't mention Crys anywhere in the "Battle of Saleucami" section, which is generally an indiction there's excessive context. Tommy-Macaroni 13:06, June 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • I pruned the opening paragraphs (now just the one) to be a bit more concise, and also got each paragraph to roughly the same length. TK-462 (talk) 18:25, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • Are we sure the yellow markings on his armor are custom? Are they not indicative of rank or something? MasterFredCommerce Guild.svg(talk) 07:02, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Good catch, thank you. TK-462 (talk) 03:39, August 13, 2020 (UTC)
CommanderDeviss327
Editor

Comments

  • I've fixed that for you, but for future nominations, please create em dashes (—) by typing "—" and en dashes (–) by typing "–" per the Manual of Style. Same goes for ellipsis (…), which can be created by typing "…." TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:51, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Understood, thank you for the heads up. TK-462 (talk) 17:48, June 7, 2020 (UTC)


Ginder

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 12:22, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 09:57, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:13, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Imp
  • Publication date. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Implement {{WizardsCite}}. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • In the reference, too. And move what you have under Sources to Appearances and remove the Sources section. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • What evidence is there for placing the subject in the Rise of the Empire era? Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • The supplement outright states that it takes place then. OtterSurf (talk) 18:37, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • That may be, but the article needs to provide in-universe reasoning for that in the body. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Having re-checked the supplement, it actually states that Head Trip can take place in any era, so I'm now not sure the eras field even applies. OtterSurf (talk) 09:22, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Never mind, fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 11:51, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
          • What you have there right now makes no sense. The adventure is explicitly set in the Rise of the Empire era, which is set between 1000 BBY and 0 BBY, so you can work from that. Is the Galactic Republic mentioned as existing in the adventure? If so, that narrows it down to 1000 BBY and 19 BBY. I believe the Living Force Campaign Guide also establishes a date for the colonization of the Cularin system, so that can be used as another boundary for the date range. And then you should try and determine whether the adventure ties in any way with the events of the Living Force campaign, which may tie down the events to before, during, or after 31 BBY. Imperators II(Talk) 17:43, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
            • Just reread the supplement, and I quote: "Note that while Head Trip takes place in the setting established in The Living Force Campaign Guide, the events, places, and individuals in this adventure don't come from the RPGA's Living Force campaign. The Cularin system holds a wealth of possibilities for exciting adventures, and Gamemasters shouldn't feel constrained by the Living Force campaign when designing their own home games. Head Trip is an example of how to put your own spin on the setting". So does that mean the era field doesn't even apply here, or what? OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
              • It does apply. Per the first sentence you quoted, I believe we can safely assume that the events of the adventure take place concurrently with the events of the Living Force. Take the date from the Living Force Campaign Guide and use it with "around." Imperators II(Talk) 18:38, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
                • Great. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 18:43, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
                  • The current ref note erroneously uses 32 BBY, not 31 BBY, and it doesn't mention the adventure at all. Imperators II(Talk) 07:51, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • The Essential Atlas does not mention Genarius, please revise your referencing. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Corrected. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • That is not what you had to do, OtterSurf. Take a look at the articles you've previously brought to status to see what needs to be put there. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing an error in the lead quote, so correct that and go through all the others and check them, too. Imperators II(Talk) 14:10, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Our article for the droid model is named incorrectly, that needs to be corrected. Imperators II(Talk) 14:10, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please split up the largest paragraph of the article and add an image. Imperators II(Talk) 14:12, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Paragraph split. What image can I use, though? Head Trip doesn't provide any. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • You can use images of related subjects from other sources. For example, we have an image of Genarius. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • If the Bimm are a furred species, then specifying this in the article for a single Bimm is unnecessary. It's like saying Chewbacca was a hairy Wookiee.
    • Bimms come in two flavours: furry and humanoid. I have removed a redundant mention of it, though. OtterSurf (talk) 11:23, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Attire goes into Equipment, not P&T.
  • Reviewing note: Equipment always goes under the P&T, and below Skills if present. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:31, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Species comes before gender. Please reflect this in the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:08, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro can be expanded slightly with more details on the events surrounding the head.
    • Added info about the cantina fight. OtterSurf (talk) 12:43, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does the source italicize "Falling Rodian"?
  • If a subject only has one appearance, then saying "first appeared" is unnecessary. See the recent EC meeting log for more details.
    • Done. Also reflected in the BTS. OtterSurf (talk) 12:31, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • Umm, you did not need to remove "1st" from Appearances, that was only for the BTS. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:47, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per precedent, you need to state that the article assumes the adventure plays out as described in the source. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 12:19, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Reference 2 provides a firm date for the adventure. This date is not present in the article itself. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 10:04, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Preliminaries:
    • Please implement an Oxford comma.
      • Done, I think. OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • No you haven't. Please take some time to research what an Oxford comma is and try again. The MoS would be a good place to start, although the first page of a google search of that term also explains it well.
          • I know what it is, thank you. I'm not sure where it applies here. I'll take another look. OtterSurf (talk) 08:58, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
          • Done. I've put it after "muzzle". OtterSurf (talk) 09:22, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Please make the formatting of Head Trip consistent.
      • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 15:58, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • No you haven't. Sometimes it is italicised, sometimes it is in quotes. Which is correct? And I have no idea why you've removed the template from ref 2.
    • File links in the body should be formatted "file:name | thumb | location | size | caption."
      • Size? OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yes, that's what's missing. Please specify it.
    • Please implement — instead of —.
    • Watch out for formatting issues like double spaces. Tommy-Macaroni 18:11, June 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • I've been over the article with a fine tooth comb and can't find that. Where is it? OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I doubt that. You have two instances of double spaces in this article which can be easily found by using ctrl+f or your computer's equivalent. These are very simple objections Otter, they shouldn't be requiring this much effort from either of us. Tommy-Macaroni 22:04, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • I don't have that option available since I'm on an Android phone. This would move a lot faster if you just told me where the double spaces are. As above, I'll check again. OtterSurf (talk) 08:58, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
            • I appreciate the difficulty of you being on mobile, and that you may not have any choice in the matter, but I'm afraid this really isn't ideal for article nominations. I can see just from my previous objections here that you being on a phone has made addressing these far more difficult than they ought to be, and I'm afraid this will make nominations more lengthy and difficult for both you and reviewers. But regardless, while I could tell you were they are, that doesn't help you become a better writer for future projects. According to these two pages, a version of ctrl+f is available on android. Please do some research into this, as find text is an invaluable tool in article writing you really need to know how to perform. Tommy-Macaroni 12:02, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
              • Alright. Done that. Chrome tells me that there's only one double space in the article, but won't show me where it is. A visual scan of the marked page shows only single spaces. I'm starting to find this extremely frustrating. OtterSurf (talk) 12:43, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
                • Yeah don't get sassy with me, you chose to nominate this article on mobile and the restrictions that come with it, so you really shouldn't be surprised at the fact that you have to find ways to work around those restrictions. Now, I can assure you there are two instances of double spaces in the article. If Chrome isn't working properly, have you tried copy-pasting the contents of the article into another app, one with a better find text feature, or even better, a find and replace tool? I sympathise with the restrictions of mobile but, to be blunt, you don't seem to be trying very hard to find alternative solutions to those restrictions. You are a regular article nominator, so you knowing how to perform a text search is imperative. I can guarantee you will need to do so for future nominations. And yes, I could tell you where the double spaces are, that does nothing to help you as a writer. Self-sufficiency is a requirement of nominating, and it is not the job of reviewers to construct and modify articles for nominators who don't know how to or can't do it themselves. Your nomination is your responsibility. So, instead of complaining about my objection, please put some effort in and find a way for you to access a text search. Tommy-Macaroni 13:58, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
                  • Uh, I'm not getting sassy with you. Think you misread my comment. Anyway, I've run the text of the article through a double-space removal tool. All double spaces should be absent now. OtterSurf (talk) 15:35, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • There are at least two links that are not formatted properly.
    • Fixed. The Wizards one might still need doing, though. OtterSurf (talk) 15:38, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yes, there's another one in that Wizards reference note. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:48, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
        • I meant the WOTC pipelink. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 16:55, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
          • No, the one you've just changed was actually properly formatted before you changed it. I'm talking about the one in the reference note #2. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 17:27, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
            • Ah. Well, now it's fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 18:39, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please fix the placement of quotation marks in BTS, per this item of the Manual of Style: "Per standards of American English, double quotation marks (" ") should be used and the period (full stop), comma, question and exclamation marks should be within the quotation."
  • As far as I can see, Cularin system's criminal organization has its own article, which should be linked in this article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 14:33, June 11, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Minka

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 10:35, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Meow.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 07:13, June 1, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:20, August 28, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • While the Biography has her homeworld, it is missing from the infobox.
    • How the hell did I miss that? Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 10:38, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • The ref note for her species input of the infobox should be worded to specifically mention how that defines Minka as Cantrosian. The years are not necessary in that note, nor is 'finally' named. Just that the species from the prior source, of which Minka was a part, was identified as such.
  • The intro could be expanded for an article of this size.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:47, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • I still think two or three more sentences than is now there would suit best.spookywillowwtalk 21:30, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Really think that's as long as I can make it. OtterSurf (talk) 10:48, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • While the additions made it longer, the majority of the introduction now consists of run-on sentences that could be split.spookywillowwtalk 18:10, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • I believe that her colleagues (Sami/Durne) could be introduced at the end of the first paragraph. She clearly had been working with them before she lost her wingmates, so it would logically suit to note that she had met them at some point by the time of the X-wing incident.
  • The last sentence of the P&T seems like a run-on, it should be able to split into two sentences.
  • The author of the comic issue she appears in should be specified.spookywillowwtalk 21:45, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
TQG
  • Please add subject categories to the images of her used in the article and place {{Imagecat}} into the article once a category for images of her is created. Toqgers (talk) 03:39, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • As I pointed out in Ginder's nomination, Equipment goes below Skills.
  • Do Minka's faction and the Imperial cell not have articles of their own?
    • Do they need articles? I don't think they'd be very substantial, even for potential CAs. OtterSurf (talk) 09:28, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context and linking for Millennium Falcon.
  • "With Durne's treachery exposed and the traitor himself in custody." This is the first time you mention a "traitor" in the article. It's not clear who this is referring to. Reword if it's Durne.
  • Any starships the character has used can be detailed in Equipment.
  • Full release date for comic required. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:14, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:28, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don't believe this can be sourced to the comic itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:34, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
        • No, of course not. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 10:34, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have you verified that this source provides the date used in the article? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:46, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • You mention that she is a Cantrosian female twice in the body, when it is only required once.
  • I can see some space for sub-sectioning in the biography.
    • When you introduce sub-sections in the body, nothing should be left out; all information should be under those sub-sections. Also, single-paragraph sub-sections should be avoided where possible. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:53, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • That's cleared a lot up, thanks. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 14:14, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm sure there's another quote you can add under the second sub-section. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:16, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "More Cantrosian Y-wings appeared and shot the Falcon down, forcing the ship to land in a gully." "Shot down" means the ship was knocked out of the sky, but we know this isn't the case in the next part of this sentence. Try substituting it with something else.
  • Context for Niru.
  • Minka hiding with Organa is sourced to the Hyperspace link, which doesn't seem to be in the Appearances or Sources. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:07, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Reference 4 needs more work. I don't see how it relates in any way to Minka, especially since it mentions Lumiya for some reason, who isn't mentioned in the article proper.
    • That's going to be tricky, but I'm up for it. Watch this space. OtterSurf (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 21:00, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • What if the Battle of Endor was fought in the last days of 4 ABY? Then "weeks after" would be 5 ABY. In order for this ref to work, you need to establish how far into 4 ABY the Battle of Endor took place (with an attributable source, obviously). QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 07:10, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
        • Rechecked TNEC and done. OtterSurf (talk) 08:20, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • Unless a source explicitly describes her hair as being "marmalade-colored," we should avoid such flowery prose.
  • The word "figurehead" usually bears a negative connotation, meaning a fake ruler who is controlled by a more powerful individual behind the scenes. I wouldn't apply this term to Han, Luke and Leia.
  • The beginning of the bio mentions only Minka joining the Rebellion, yet later you mention "her Rebellion-loyal" faction back on her homeworld, as if she had been a member of this group before joining the Rebellion. If so, then this fact should be established earlier.
  • What was Durne's motive for manipulating the factions of Cantros-7? QuiGonJinn Senate seal.svg(Talk) 10:44, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • The Nagai Knife recruited him to sow discord. I'll work it in. OtterSurf (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 21:00, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Preliminaries:
    • File links in the body should be formatted "file:name | thumb | location | size | caption."
    • {{Hyperspace}} is not formatted properly.
      • How? Archive links don't exist. OtterSurf (talk) 15:40, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Empty "int" field. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • That's not required. Says so on the template page. OtterSurf (talk) 08:52, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
            • But that doesn't mean you should keep an empty field you don't use when formatting the template, does it? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 09:20, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
              • Ahhhhhh! Of course. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 09:24, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Many links/pipelinks in the article are not formatted properly.
      • Can you point those out? OtterSurf (talk) 15:43, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • [[Wingmate/Legends|wingmate]]s, ''[[Millennium Falcon/Legends|Millennium Falcon]]'', and countless more. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Missing categories.
      • And those are? OtterSurf (talk) 15:40, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • For starters, isn't she a member of the Rebel Alliance? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • That's never stated outright, just that Minka and her faction are loyal to it. OtterSurf (talk) 08:50, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • What is the page number for the section that provides the release date for the comic in Marvel Age #23 exactly? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 06:48, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • The cover states the date, while Catspaw is listed on page 5. OtterSurf (talk) 15:31, June 8, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Assertor-class Command Dreadnought

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 15:19, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  2. RattsT (talk) 20:25, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Everything looks great! CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus Open frequency 19:09, June 16, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Tommy
  • The intro needs to be a lot larger than one sentence for an article of this size.
  • I think a proofread may be beneficial. Why is "Information" capitalised, link for the Legends version, etc.
    • Ah the BTS section escaped my proofread. I check the rest of the article as well and moved some things around in the characteristics section to have it read better.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:58, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there any more stuff for Roles? For the Secutor, there was a fair bit of stuff about how the ship was used in battle, which we still need to use if it's not obviously game mechanics. Tommy-Macaroni 16:39, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately the section for the ship in the book covers only one page, half of which is dedicated for its statistics. There isn't anything more I can use that doesn't include suggestions for in-game encounters--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:58, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • BTS can be paragraphed. Some of those sentences are also run-ons.
  • Wasn't the Assertor designed by Ansel Hsiao for TEGTW? If so, please look to the Secutor for the best way to incorporate this info. Tommy-Macaroni 11:58, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. Let me know if this is good or if further tweaks and changes are needed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:14, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • I think the order for the BTS is now a little odd. I think you need to mention Hsiao designed it much earlier (this will likely need an additional ref like on Secutor), then say how it was used in EGTW, then say that although the book only mentions the class once by name (I think, you'll need to check), some of Hsiao's specifications were approved by Lucasfilm. Tommy-Macaroni 20:43, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • You'll also need either an {{Otheruses}} or {{Youmay}} for Assertor. Tommy-Macaroni 12:02, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "in the 2020 supplement Starships and Speeders" - supplement to what? I'd like to see Star Wars Roleplaying linked, and I also think "sourcebook" is a better descriptor for the source.
  • I think the last BTS paragraph should be inserted after the first BTS sentence, followed by a line break. That way the first paragraph deals with canon material, and the second deals with Legends. That should also make the two paragraphs more equal in length.
    • Done--Vitus InfinitusTalk 23:15, July 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now you skip from the canon introduction to Legends design, back to the canon image, then back to Legends origins. What I'd like to see is the canon introduction in S&S and comments on the canon image making up the first paragraph. Then in the second I'd like to see discussion on Hsiao's design, how it made it into Legends and the stuff about Lucasfilm Licensing. Tommy-Macaroni 14:00, July 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • Okay, rearranged accordingly--Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:33, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
          • Please place the Hsiao sentence at the start of the second paragraph as I originally suggested, so at least the Legends information is in chronological order. This also factors into my last objection, as it isn't interesting to say the Legends model had stuff in canon that wasn't in the book, that's only interesting because it was Fanon that become official. Therefore the Hsiao sentence needs to come first so the reader understands why they're being told the stuff about Tumblr. Tommy-Macaroni 22:13, July 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • The correct phasing we're trying to use is "the Star Wars Legends continuity".
  • "Although it was only mentioned in the book" - Was the Assertor mentioned only by name in EGTW, or was there an accompanying image? If it's the former, I'd say something like "only mentioned by name."
    • That info was still subject to change as I was waiting for clarification but didn't get it until now. It appears that it's only pictured in the book. I changed the wording to reflect it.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:33, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • Nevermind, finally found where it's named in the book and reconfirmed that it is the only place in the book where it's named.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:44, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think we can get some additional context for the Assertor design being approved by Lucasfilm. Secutor has it as "Fry stated in his Tumblr endnotes that the name and some of Hsiao's specifications had been approved by Lucasfilm." I think that wording is pretty good, and if the Endnotes say so, I think it'd be good to be more specific on these specifications, such as if there was an image also canonised? Tommy-Macaroni 14:56, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Further specified on the BTS. As for the image, Essential Guide includes an Assertor on a page, but I don't see where the image is said to be canon--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:33, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • OK, but can you explicitly mention that Fry said in his endnotes some of Hsiao's specifications, such as the length, had been approved by Lucasfilm? The length itself being canonised isn't the interesting thing, it's the fact that some of Hsiao's specifications were canonised independently of EGTW that's interesting. Tommy-Macaroni 14:00, July 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • I further clarified.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:33, July 26, 2020 (UTC)
          • "the following information" - what following information? Tommy-Macaroni 22:13, July 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • OK, I'm reasonably happy with the BTS now, now onto the meat of the article. In the history, you say "hundreds of TIE line starfighters." First, can't we just say they're TIE/ln fighters? They all look like regular TIEs.. Second, does S&S actually say hundreds, or have you counted them yourself? Also, just on from that bit, I think you can also describe the celestial bodies' colour, seeing as how there's so little other history stuff to present.
  • Is the agent described in the history section actually an Agent (note capitalisation) of the Alliance? As in, did they hold the specific rank of Agent, or are they just described as a "rebel agent" or something? If it's the latter, the link to agent needs to be removed. Tommy-Macaroni 19:50, August 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Lots of duplicate links.
  • With the new source, can we get any more images?
    • Only other image is a mirrored version of the one in the infobox.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:29, August 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • Interesting. Now, I'm thinking we should probably use the original image for the infobox, but what do you think? Tommy-Macaroni 10:39, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
        • I think it's best to use the original one from Lead by Example and maybe note that it was later mirrored in the BTS.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:26, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
          • Honestly I think noting that in the BTS is kinda superfluous, FFG do this sort of thing quite frequently. It was only mentioned originally because the image was brought over from Legends to canon, not because of the mirroring. Tommy-Macaroni 16:43, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Characteristics is looking incredibly daunting currently, I'd like to see some subsectioning.
    • Done, let me know if these subheading titles work--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:29, August 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • Subheading titles look good, but I think it may be an idea to break each subsection up into two paragraphs each, as they're still looking quite chunky. Tommy-Macaroni 10:39, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please refer to Wookieepedia:Manual of Style#Formatting:
    • "But do not link individual words within proper compound nouns (examples: [[Death]] [[Star]], [[Color|Azure]] [[Dianoga]] [[Cantina]], [[The galaxy|Galactic]] Empire, ''[[Bantha]]''-class assault shuttle)"
    • "Italics: [[Subjugator (Imperial II-class)|''Subjugator'']], not ''[[Subjugator (Imperial II-class)|Subjugator]]''"
      • Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:29, August 29, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm still seeing instances of both these errors. Tommy-Macaroni 10:39, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
          • I found one more, but not sure where the others are, specifically the first objection.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:26, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
            • I can see one of the first type in the intro, and one of the second in History. Tommy-Macaroni 16:43, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • At a glance, the intro is looking a little small. Is there any more relevant stuff that can be added? Tommy-Macaroni 21:45, August 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Not sure, I think I have good coverage since in the intro I cover some of its characteristics, roles, and history. I can probably add a few more details, if you think that's necessary.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 00:29, August 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • What details do you have in mind? Tommy-Macaroni 10:39, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
        • Just more specific information like number and type of armament in the second intro paragraph, and detail that they were introduced after the Battle of Yavin in the same paragraph.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:26, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
          • I think a brief overview of those characteristics and when it was introduced could be nice. Tommy-Macaroni 16:43, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Now we have an individual ship called the Assertor in canon, along with its battle group, please create Assertor (disambiguation). Tommy-Macaroni 21:48, August 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please add a {{Mediacat}}. Tommy-Macaroni 10:39, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Looking at the BTS, I'm thinking the details on the mirrored image and the Tumblr info is irrelevant. The latter is only relevant in the Secutor article because that's how the name was introduced into Legends, which is then relevant for the canon article. For this subject, the name origin is via EGTW, so the Tumblr info isn't adding anything relevant to the canon subject. With those gone the BTS can probably be reduced to one paragraph.
  • Templates should be using underscores instead of spaces in the same way files should.
  • "it was assumed" Assumed by whom?
  • "anti-Rebel Alliance operations." Please refer to WP:DASH. Tommy-Macaroni 17:25, September 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Lead by Example uses anti-Alliance, should I write that or anti - Rebel Alliance? I figured this was similar to how anti-air or anti-surface missiles are written in English and on the Wook.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:47, September 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • If it was just "anti-rebel" or "anti-alliance," then it should be a simple hyphen, but since the "anti" is attached the proper noun combination "Rebel Alliance," it needs an en dash ("anti–Rebel Alliance"). Tommy-Macaroni 09:15, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:20, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
          • Now it says anti–Alliance, a combination I specifically said only needed a hyphen. I literally typed out exactly what you needed to add to the article. Tommy-Macaroni 16:28, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
            • Now it's fixed. Sorry, I have an exam and I didn't get sleep.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:38, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
              • It's not a problem. However, I would still recommend going with "anti–Rebel Alliance," as I feel it's better to give a more formal name to the Alliance when it's first being mentioned. Tommy-Macaroni 22:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
                • Switched--Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:38, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
                  • En dash, please. That was the very basis of this objection in the first place. Tommy-Macaroni 22:43, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
    • Jesus, I'm sorry Tommy. If I could I'd buy a round on me--Vitus InfinitusTalk 22:56, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Hey don't worry about it, exam stress can be brutal. And I'll hold you to that if I ever make it to Florida :P Tommy-Macaroni 23:01, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
Ben
  • Starships and Speeders is not even mentioned in the BTS. Is there a reason for that? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:25, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think it would be good to list the authors of Starships and Speeders in the BTS as well, even if there's half a dozen of them. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:57, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry to interject here, but per precedent (Oppressor), listing the authors in this case is superfluous. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:16, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • Seeing as there's an image of the ship from Starships and Speeders, shouldn't the "First mentioned" tag be changed to "First appearance?" RattsT (talk) 07:22, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • From my understanding it's "first mentioned" when it comes from a source despite there being an image.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:13, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah, alright then. RattsT (talk) 16:36, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Personally, I find adding the Legends version of the ship in {{Otheruses}} unnecessary since Canon/Legends tabs exist for that reason.
  • I don't think "the Assertor" is really an alternate for the ship. It's just a shortened version like the Venator, or the Falcon.
  • I think it's safe to say the Star Destroyers that accompany the Assertor in the image are Imperial II-class.
  • Per precedent, {{RPGseed}} is only used for events that are affected by player's choice, and as far as I can see, the bit about the rebel captive is not affected by player's choice at all. If that's the case, the template should be removed.
  • I know this probably sounds dumb, but I don't think Steve Hamilton actually mentions his real name anywhere in his DeviantArt account. Because of that, I think it'd be nice to have another source that proves "Balance-Sheet" is indeed Hamilton's nickname. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:13, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The Manual of Style explicitly tells us not to refer to starships using "she"/"her" pronouns. Please revise in both instances of the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:38, 24 October 2020 (UTC)
    • Apologies, that's how it was in the source. Fixed-- Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:29, 25 October 2020 (UTC)

Comments


Drolen Antig

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 09:45, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Smuggled a shipment of glitterstim through customs at Phindar Spaceport by hiding it up his backside, apparently

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:04, September 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • The intro is way too short for three paragraphs in the biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:40, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Do the sources state that he smuggled goods on those smuggling routes? If so, then the info on both of those can be combined better in the biography. Otherwise, split them into two sentences.
  • In the first paragraph, is there a reason to use two separate Sources to cite the info about Pirik after citing "Outer Rim"?
    • Yes. Only Corint City is mentioned in Antig's profile; where it is, namely Pirik, is from another source. OtterSurf (talk) 10:19, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • Then you will need to include a note stating that the source identifies the planet that the city is on as Pirik. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:51, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • You need to elaborate on the "technology" when it's first mentioned in the second paragraph instead of the third paragraph, as you call it a "valuable resource," which isn't explained very well there.
  • "The criminals needed a transport, and so Antig offered his own ship, the Trustworthy, for the job." Please restructure this sentence to improve its flow.
  • His work with the Advosze thieves should be mentioned before the heist, as all information needs to be in chronological order.
  • "The heist was a success, but Antig and his crew killed the Advosze..." This is the first and only time you mention any sort of "crew" in the biography separate from the Advosze.
  • "New Republic forces were quick to act, attempting to locate Antig, who had been spotted in the Ethav Regions after the heist, and resolving to retrieve the stolen components before Kuat Drive Yards could use the technology in designs for the Empire." Please restructure this to reduce it's run-on nature.
  • "He was not entirely trusted by his crew of thirty fellow lowlifes and criminals, and had stolen his trousers from a Corellian." This information should be in the biography, especially the composition of his crew. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:47, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. This fixed the objection above as well. OtterSurf (talk) 10:35, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • The trousers can be added to Equipment.
  • "He ran with a crew of thirty lowlifes and criminals, none of whom entirely trusted the Nalroni, and had stolen his trousers from a Corellian." This sounds like the crew stole his trousers. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:51, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I read that back and it read poorly. I moved the trousers to Equipment per the objection above. OtterSurf (talk) 11:09, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • The fact that he "stole" something at one point is biographical information. Keep that info there. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:13, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • Added. The fact that Antig wore the trousers is mentioned in Equipment so it feels less redundant. OtterSurf (talk) 11:36, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm certain you can add an image of some kind to the Biography (i.e. the location of the heist). Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:08, August 31, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:40, September 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • Can you position it lower and increase the size? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:05, September 1, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • If he was spotted in the Ethav Regions after the heist, this should be added to the Biography.
  • His starship should be mentioned in the Equipment section.
  • Is the attribution of quotes to Pash Cracken correct? Other articles related to "Wanted by Cracken" (such as Ethav Regions or "Wanted by Cracken" itself) attribute quotes to Airen Cracken. Zed42 (talk) 21:13, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done, done, corrected. OtterSurf (talk) 09:00, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • As per pages such as Ethav Regions, quote attribution should include the in-universe document, and Antig's mention in the datafile should be included on the page. Zed42 (talk) 10:58, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
Spooky
  • I think the year for the Empire's defeat at Endor can be included in the intro, along with context for Endor.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:32, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • This goes for the context in the intro and the Biography - Endor is a moon; pretty well established. I really don't think 'world' is the best context descriptor for it when we can specify.spookywillowwtalk 04:04, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Endor, Relarr system, Roche asteroid field, and Corint City need context in the Biography.
  • I think the location of the Kuat Drive Yards should be established.
  • The introduction should state Antig's gender.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:32, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
      • The gender should always go after the species.spookywillowwtalk 04:04, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
        • Flows better the other way round if you ask me, but okay. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 08:08, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
          • It's precedent on every status article that ever was :P spookywillowwtalk 00:15, June 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the first paragraph of the Biography, "32" should be written out as "thirty-two".
  • "...in his adult life, and was known to have worked" Who knew he had worked with?
  • Similar case here, "which were believed to have been lost in a struggle with one of the Advosze he murdered" Who believed/said they were lost in such a struggle?
    • Omitted and fixed respectively. OtterSurf (talk) 10:34, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • The P&T seems to have run-on sentences overall. I also think subjective language such as "apparently", from "...apparently stole his trousers", should be removed.spookywillowwtalk 03:01, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Preliminaries:
    • Files and templates need to use underscores in place of spaces (eg [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]], not [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).
    • Multiple poorly-formatted links.
    • The {{Journal}} template should be implemented for issue 11 as well.
    • Aren't those Wanted by Cracken entries sources rather than "appearances"?
    • The italicization and quotations of the real-life "Wanted by Cracken" are inconsistent in the article.
    • Publisher information missing in BTS. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders.svg Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:49, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Does the source explicitly call his hair "orange-red"? Because the infobox image is anything but.
  • Why does Endor's astrographical position or status as a moon need to be mentioned here? Does this contain any relevance to the character? If it doesn't, just say "defeat at the Battle of Endor": "After the Galactic Empire's defeat at the Outer Rim moon of Endor"
  • Two consecutive sentences in the intro begin in the exact same way, which is redundant and poor wording. Please mix it up. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:28, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Both done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:51, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • If you think changing "After" to "Following" is satisfactory, you're sadly missing the point of this objection. Please reword one of those sentences to avoid the redundant syntax. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:11, October 7, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Magé

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:06, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 11:35, July 10, 2020 (UTC)
  3. ACvote.png Imperators II(Talk) 12:12, October 2, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Avoid the repetition of "better known as" in the first paragraph.
  • Does the story refer to the Thunderstrike as a CR90?
  • Does the story also specify who the character was speaking to over the comlink?
    • "The comlink she had been shouting into slid from her now-limp hand." Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:55, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please revise the second paragraph. There are too many sentences that can be reworded to flow better (For example, "Howl had Brand push Magé out of her chair before he looted her desk of the governor's Nabooian whiskey." This sounds like it was Brand's desk rather than the governor's). Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:39, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Howl, although, was already aware of this fact, and gradually dissuaded Brand from collecting the bounty" "Gradually" implies this took place over a long period of time. Is this the case, or did it happen at that moment?
    • The whole story, besides the moments with Magé and the flashbacks, is the conversation. Unsure how long it takes in terms of IU time, though, so I've removed gradually. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:35, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "...jutting at her unconscious body while she snorted." Did you mean to say "snored"? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:19, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Story says snorted but it implies snoring anyways. Changed. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:35, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "When identifying the Thunderstrike, she was able to deduce that Twilight Company was present at the planet." I feel this information isn't really necessary for the P&T. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:03, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
Otter gonna ott
Imp
  • Just checking: is "Hope" in the lead quote capitalized in the source?
    • It is.
  • Does the source capitalize "Imperial Headquarters" like that? There should be consistency with respect to this between Bio and P&T.
    • It doesn't, fixed.
  • The fact that Brand specifically intended to kill Howl (as opposed to the generic "collect the bounty on him", which could also refer to him remaining alive) is intro-exclusive. Imperators II(Talk) 18:39, October 1, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Senator Jar Jar Binks commemorative drinking cup

  • Nominated by: RattsT (talk) 05:35, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First Legends nom had to be an important one. Drink up, folks.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 06:22, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Wonderful. Now we just need to add this to the Jar Jar page. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 09:30, July 12, 2020 (UTC)
  3. ACvote.png Imperators II(Talk) 07:18, October 10, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Burn it, burn it now
  • Would it be possible to briefly mention the interaction between the cup and Fett in the History's quote in the text? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 07:46, July 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Mentioned. RattsT (talk) 22:29, July 8, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
  • Intro-exclusive info: there's no mention of Jar Jar being "famous" in the article body.
  • Also regarding the intro, it should be explicitly stated that Melvin was bounty hunting Jar Jar. Currently, with "searching" and "Confusing the souvenir with the famous Gungan, Fett seized the item, content that he had captured his bounty," it's not very clear that Jar Jar was Melvin's quarry, at least until the very end. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 11:38, July 11, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed both. "Famous" probably wasn't the right wording anyway. Changed to "well-known," which is closer to the "recognizable" used in the body. RattsT (talk) 06:16, July 12, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • Please make sure the title of both the story and the issue are formatted consistently throughout the article, in all sections and templates.
  • Per ample recent precedent, please change the Dark Horse citation to the equivalent Marvel Comics one.
  • There's no need for ref 4, please just make do with ref 1 for that, since the latter also links to the issue. Imperators II(Talk) 18:47, October 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • All objections addressed. RattsT (talk) 11:22, October 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm not seeing any supporting evidence for the article's subject to be extant in the Rebellion era, as the Eras template indicates.
  • The BTS asserting with certainty that the comic is non-canon contradicts what the article's header template says.
  • Please add the approximate creation date of the cup to the infobox.
  • Does the source actually say that Jar Jar's voice was "recognizable"?
  • Does the source actually say that Jar Jar was "well-known"? Imperators II(Talk) 09:18, October 8, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • The page has been updated with new information after discovering the author's Twitter account and uncovering some BTS details. RattsT (talk) 11:22, October 4, 2020 (UTC)


Sami (Cantrosian)

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 09:57, July 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Missed the last objection, sorry. This kitty is going all the way!

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:34, September 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. LordMominutiae (talk) 20:27, October 2, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Nemrileo irm-Drocubac

  • Nominated by: Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:25, August 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:My apologies for missing those last 2 objections, both have been fixed and noted in the comments section below. Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:25, August 22, 2020 (UTC)

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:31, August 29, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • I think the second paragraph in the Biography should be broken up, it's looking quite large. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:35, August 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • The precedent is to make date notes specific to the subject of the article, so you should do that with the 22 BBY date note. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:54, August 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Talking book should presumably be added to Appearances, with its redlink filled in. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:29, 24 October 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The article will need to add the Approaching Storm audiobook to the Appearances list and check that source for any missing information. For example, does the audiobook introduce any particular vocal details for the character, such as an accent? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:07, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'll find a copy and check, thanks for the review. Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:16, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'll be listening to it over the next few days, and will advise if there is anything to note. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:05, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
        • Nothing to note from it, I've added the audiobook to the appearances, just have to create the article. Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:27, October 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • So what does the character's voice sound like? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:17, October 2, 2020 (UTC)
            • I didn't find anything particularly distinctive about it, a basic male voice. No distinct accent, identifying feature, if that makes sense. Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:19, October 9, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Do we need two refs for the end of the bio? All the info seems simple, so I think a single ref should suffice.
    • The bio incorporates info from both sources, the details of his death from the novel, while the guide clarifies it was Separatist agents. I can do a ref explanation instead if you'd like.
  • Please use the Oxford comma.
    • I believe I've gotten this one, please advise if I've missed anything. Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:25, August 22, 2020 (UTC)
LordMominutiae
  • So just to be clear, irm-Drocubac was killed by Separatists (despite being a Separatist himself) because he dared to doubt Shu Mai's commitment to the Separatist movement? LordMominutiae (talk) 14:31, 24 October 2020 (UTC)


Adner

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:09, September 2, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 17:25, September 3, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
Toprawa
  • I think this missing New Republic agent probably meets about the bare minimum of what would be needed for an article. We know both that he's male and a not-insignificant bit of history about him.
  • If "Information Age" is capitalized like that as a formal thing in the source, that should definitely have an article
  • Remind me again why we're not mentioning Airen Cracken's writing in the History? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:35, 24 October 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Noe'ha'on/Legends

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:44, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
  2. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 16:57, September 22, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Erebus

Comments

Elzian

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. ACvote.png Imperators II(Talk) 10:09, October 15, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Ref 2 shouldn't reference the whole Expansion Pack like that. Please implement {{Armada}} with a link to a specific card, or use a different source entirely.
  • This MC80 sounds like it should have an article of its own. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:54, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per objection here, the Dark Horse Comics link should be replaced by the equivalent Marvel.com page.
    • Sorry to interject here, but I did not make the same objection on this nomination due to the relevant Marvel.com entry not containing the same info as the Dark Horse one, i.e., the artists. Imperators II(Talk) 20:09, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah, I should've noticed that. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:12, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • It would be better to state the species in Personality and traits rather than repeat the information between that section and the Biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:05, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • I don't think the last part of the Biography about the interruption to Solo's rest is really relevant to Elzian.
    • Elzian was given command, then something happened that interrupted Han's rest. I think it's notable enough, but I've trimmed down the paragraph a bit. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:39, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • What is relevant, however, is the next issue's confirmation of the New Republic victory. Zed42 (talk) 20:12, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • How exactly do we know Elzian's gender? I'm not seeing anything in the comic that mentions it. Zed42 (talk) 18:40, September 27, 2020 (UTC)
    • Huh, it was an assumption based on species such as Rodians, Quarren, and Mon Calamari. Removed/reworded all references to gender since I couldn't find any images of Ish-Tib that allows their gender to be distinguished by their appearance. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 16:55, September 30, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • The comic issue is explicitly set "approximately thirteen years after the Battle of Yavin". You should be able to use this to greatly simplify the date ref. Imperators II(Talk) 21:28, October 14, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Wazellman

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:23, September 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The first of Warwick's many many Solo characters

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Objections handled via IRC. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 13:01, September 20, 2020 (UTC)
  2. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 12:47, September 23, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Harrin/Legends

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:09, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  2. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 13:00, September 23, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Sadow

  • Nominated by: Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:54, September 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: CA that has been updated.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 17:02, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Nice job! --Lewisr (talk) 18:32, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  3. CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:45, September 21, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • The page on Teta lists her gender as "Female," but this article refers to the individual as "itself." Which article is correct in this matter? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:30, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed, I thought of the planet when it's the individual--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:54, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • If you've stated that Sadow was male, shouldn't this be established in the first sentence of the intro? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 07:32, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
  • Ref 1 doesn't need to mention lord being the male equivalent of lady, and I'm not sure about the capitalisation used here. Simply saying lord is a title for males would do.
  • Info from the last two sentences of the "Great Hyperspace War" section should be combined. The second sentence is itself unnecessary, seeing as it's already said in the previous. However, I'd have "left barren and scarred" replace "annihilated" since the latter term suggests Ossus got blown up.
  • "he maneuvered through the Sith Citadel and recognized a number of statues of Sith Lords from his studies that were etched into the walls." Should be made clear who the pronouns refer to. This goes for the "he" in the next paragraph as well. - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 17:19, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
Lewisr
  • Darth Noctyss is referred to as a Sith Lord, despite the fact Noctyss is female. Therefore, I don't think we should be assuming Sadow's gender --Lewisr (talk) 17:09, September 21, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • I personally don't think the subsectioning of the Biography is necessary when one of those sections is a paragraph long.
  • "The Qel-Droma Epics also claimed that the planet Ossus was a Jedi retreat that was left barren and scarred when Naga Sadow triggered stars in the Cron Cluster nearby, becoming the Cron Supernova." Sadow's actions should be the main focus of this sentence, with the devastation of Ossus as a subsequent result. Zed42 (talk) 19:13, September 21, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Dohlbani sector

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Support

  1. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 13:00, September 23, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 19:46, September 28, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Maneeli Tuun

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:47, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I always found it weird that this unused model is always included in the four named Kallidahins rather than the third Kallidahin in the delivery room who's never been ID'd

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 09:35, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 14:22, October 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Shwuy sector

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  1. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 17:30, September 26, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 14:27, October 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Ansibella Dellu

  • Nominated by: LordMominutiae (talk) 20:04, October 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Wound up a little longer than I'd thought!

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:31, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Nice work! - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 16:36, October 17, 2020 (UTC)

Object

OOM
  • Per a relatively new policy, individual words within proper compound nouns should not be linked. For example, "Clone Wars" shouldn't have a Clone trooper pipelink, and "Galactic Republic" shouldn't be pipelinked either.
  • "Former" should replace "fallen" in "fallen Jedi Master," which otherwise should not be pipelinked to Lost Twenty since the term only means a Jedi was officially recognised for leaving the Order for philosophical reasons, and not necessarily falling to the dark side.
  • The second sentence of the first paragraph is too long and should be split up.
  • There's no need to mention the Battle of Geonosis in ref 2.
  • "Worsened" violates NPOV. "As the Separatist Crisis worsened…"
    • Would "heightened" work, or should I use a different descriptor/reword it? LordMominutiae (talk) 21:08, October 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • "Heightened" would work if "tension" is mentioned.
  • "Though" should be replaced by the more formal "although." - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:39, October 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • The 22 BBY mention should go in the second paragraph.
  • The date in the first paragraph could be narrowed down from simply "prior to 22 BBY" by taking the date Dooku left the Jedi Order. Also, if the CIS or the Separatist Crisis is said to be in existence at the time of the poster's making, then you could also date it to the Raxus Address of 24 BBY.
    • Hopefully that makes sense. There's no mention of the CIS being in existence when the poster was made, nor is there any indication that the poster was made or Dooku spoke at Reena University during the Separatist Crisis. LordMominutiae (talk) 14:24, October 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • "although the former senator's work-in-progress poster, Count Dooku: Words of Truth […]" I don't understand. The poster was still WIP during Imperial reign? And how does this work with the poster article, which says "However, rare specimens of Dellu's work-in-progress poster survived those purges." - - -CIS roundel.svg OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 07:33, October 3, 2020 (UTC)
    • Here's the passage from the book: "This rare specimen of a work-in-progress poster by Ansibella Dellu during her university years survived the loyalty purges enacted by the Imperial Security Bureau following the conclusion of the Clone Wars." I'm not sure if the poster was ever actually finished and the WIP version was what managed to survive, or if Dellu never actually completed the poster so it never progressed further than this, or what. LordMominutiae (talk) 14:24, October 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • I see. Then please reword the final paragraph to make it clear that a WIP Words of Truth poster was included in the propaganda history book, and that it was a "rare specimen." - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 14:49, October 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Looking great! I did a copy-edit of the page for conciseness and accuracy. You might want to look over it. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 17:56, October 3, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Article in inconsistent when it comes to naming Raxus, please make this consistent.
    • Made the article body consistent. Is it all right for just the infobox to use the planet's full name, "Raxus Secundus," or does that need to be consistent as well?
      • Should be fine if its changed. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:09, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
        • Changed the infobox to just "Raxus," as that's what the book itself uses. LordMominutiae (talk) 15:31, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • We have a citation template for Edelweiss+ links, which should be used for Ref 5.
    • Thanks, was unaware. Fixed.
  • A more descriptive caption for the image would be better than just the poster's name.
    • Is that better, or should I instead mention the actual event Dellu made the poster for?
  • Grammatical error in Ref 2: "Hence the poster must have occurred between the years...."
    • Whoops, fixed.
  • Can you explain what a "shadowfeed" is in the article?
    • Added context.
  • Last sentence of the Biography should probably be split into two to avoid being a run-on sentence.
    • Does that look all right?
  • The publishing timeframe should be specified in the article rather than a ref note. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 14:19, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for A History of Persuasive Art in the Galaxy. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 15:09, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. Reorganized that sentence as well in an effort to improve the flow after adding the context, so hopefully that looks all right. LordMominutiae (talk) 15:31, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reena University should be added to Affiliations if she was an official of the university.
    • Added.
  • You should introduce Dellu as an official in the first sentence of the intro rather than awkwardly mention it after Dooku's speech.
    • Done.
  • Another inconsistency: " Separatist Senate" and "Separatist Parliament." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:17, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Changed all instances to "Separatist Parliament," as that's what the book itself uses.
  • Context for Separatist Crisis. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:17, October 17, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Sakhet's Noodles

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

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Object

Erebus
  • History paragraph is a huge wall of information. Please split it into two paragraphs. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 20:49, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please remove "canon" from the BTS as there's no Legends counterpart to it. And please add the novel's release date. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 20:58, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. However, I wasn’t sure if I should put march 3 or march 3rd. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 21:05, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Move the date to before "novel" and remove "March 3rd". CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 21:11, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the Twitter reference note, there's no need to capitalize Heir to the Jedi. Also, please link and italicize it like I just did here. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 21:22, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Even though that’s how it was spelled in the original tweet? I can still link and italicize is though. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 21:25, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • This is my mistake, but I forgot that you don't link in tweets, so just remove the link, my apologies. However, the tweet itself doesn't explain how it takes place in 0 ABY, so you'll need to explain using the tweet how it does. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 21:41, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
        • I explained it, although it is a pretty lengthy answer. Do you see a grammatically correct way to shorten it? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 22:15, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
          • Sorry to interject, but including Kevin's tweet seems unnecessary since Luke himself says in HTTJ that he hasn't heard from Obi-Wan since Yavin --Lewisr (talk) 04:07, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
            • Makes sense. I only used it because it was used to reference the timeline on Heir to the Jedi. Should I create a second reference nonetheless? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 17:19, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
              • You should take out Kevin Hearne's tweet in the reference and say something along the lines of "In Heir to the Jedi, Luke Skywalker states that he has not heard from Obi-Wan Kenobi since the Battle of Yavin. As Skywalker hears from Kenobi in Star Wars 1, Heir to the Jedi must take place before Star Wars 1." CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 18:25, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
                • I hope you don’t mind it’s pretty much word for word from what you suggested. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 18:42, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
                • Any other thoughts? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 23:36, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
                    • That's fine. But it still doesn't explain how it's in 0 ABY. You removed the necessary information that explained how Star Wars 1 was set in 0 ABY between Episode IV and Darth Vader 4 per the Atlas, and then HTTJ being between. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 23:54, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
  • Since the subject has only appeared once, "first appeared" should be changed to "appeared."
    • Done.
  • There are three redirect links in the article. To find redirects, they could be made to display in orange instead of the standard blue in "Gadgets" in "My preferences," which could be accessed in the dropdown by your profile picture on the top-right corner.
  • A subject matter should not be linked to in the quote templates if a link for it already exists in the article body.
    • Done.JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 00:02, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • Please check again. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 03:50, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • I can’t believe I forgot about one of my favorites, admiral ackbar. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 04:50, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • I meant that per the Layout Guide, "Do not use links within a quote, unless it is the only mention in the article of a certain subject," the links in the quote template should be removed since the subjects are already linked to in the article body. Please add the links in the article body back, and remove links from the quote templates. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 05:26, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
            • I think I get it now, but I’ve already said done a couple times incorrectly, so I’ll just see if you cross it out or not. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 17:23, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • References should be placed after punctuation marks, with the exception of dashes.
    • Done.
  • Could a relevent image be added to the article? - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:52, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro says it was a noodle vendor, yet this information and the accompanying links do not appear in the article body. Same for the Rebel Alliance Intelligence Service.
    • I added noodle vendor, although I don’t think rebel alliance intelligence service was ever the right link to use. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 18:28, October 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Similarly, Kupohan Spynet is infobox-exclusive information. Everything mentioned in the intro and the infobox should be included in the article body.
  • Images should be structured in the following format: [[File:File-name.png|thumb|left/right|size|caption]] Also, for the image size formatting, "000px" should be used as opposed to "000x000px"
    • I’m assuming that you only crossed out half of that because the size was before left/right. That is fixed now.JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 18:01, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Spaces in file names should be replaced with an underscore. I have fixed this for you. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 05:26, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • Drusil Bephorin is intro exclusive.
  • How does Lodos district plaza fit into this? According to that article, the noodle vendor is located there. If that is correct, please adjust/rewrite article accordingly. - - -OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 18:16, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added that the hut is located in the plaza.
Tomotron
Zed
  • Before this nomination is taken down for being slightly over the word limit, I'd like to add that I think there is some extraneous information that can be cut down on. For example, the last paragraph of the History contains the conversation between Kelen and Skywalker that is not really relevant to the noodle establishment. Zed42 (talk) 09:17, October 11, 2020 (UTC)
    • After that, by my count it is at 998. Any other extraneous information you noticed?JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 02:55, October 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • Between this and changes from other objections, it does appear to be better, though there are still other instances of play-by-play. For example: "The third Kupohan who worked at the hut took the order and informed them to take their receipt, which had the number eighty-nine written on it, indicating their order number. Skywalker and Kelen were also informed to pick up there food at the window around the corner. Their receipt also had in writing, "Return at 0900 tomorrow." Kelen noted that it was unlikely that the hut would be selling noodles at such an early time." This can be written in a more concise manner. Zed42 (talk) 23:50, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • The example I provided in the Comments is still present in the article. The article should be about what happened inside the noodle hut and the noodle hut only. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:09, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Removed a chunk about the prelude to the mission to denon, but two questions remain regarding relevancy to the article: I think a sentence about why they were there is good to have for the history paragraph, and I was also wondering if the part of the delivery runt that occurred the following morning should be kept, as it is official Sakhet’s noodles business but occurs off the property. Tell me your thoughts. JediMasterMacaroni (Talk) 21:11, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • For the first point, I would go even further and remove the info about how they got to Denon. Just briefly mention how and why they entered Sakhet's in the first place. For your second point, if the article was about an organization, then the info about the delivery would be relevant to keep. But as it stands, the article is about a location, so you should only talk about what happened in and around the location. For the delivery part, just mention that they left the establishment for whatever reason. If you want examples for how you should write a location article, see other Good articles such as The Wooden Wookiee and Nikto mercenary encampment. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:03, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
        • Updated. I tried to give some background on the delivery run while keeping the information only within the location itself. JediMasterMacaroni Admiral Ackbar RH.png(Conversation) 03:12, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
          • Thats a lot better. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:34, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
            • Since the infobox was changed to a store, should the delivery run be put back?
  • The first paragraph of Description is massive, please cut it down into two paragraphs. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:10, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Split it between physical description and food ordering protocol, which I think is relevant to keep.
  • {{Store}} would be a better infobox than {{Structure}} here, since this is a vendor.
    • Didn’t know that existed. I agree that it is better.
  • Context missing for Sakhet (in Description), Skywalker, Kelen, and Bephorin.
    • Still missing for Skywalker, Kelen, and Bephorin. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • In History, the reasoning for Skywalker and Kelen's visit should be made clear when you first mention them.
  • "Sakhet's Noodles owned a delivery speeder that smelled of cooking oil and was used to deliver the catering orders, even in the morning, as the people of Denon ate at all hours of the day. The speeder had the words "Sakhet's Noodles" written on it. Sakhet would deliver the noodles at the client's doorstep." I don't see the relevance of this information to the article. This can go into another page.
  • From reading that excerpt, it sounds like Sakhet's delivery speeder should get its own article.
    • I shall do that. Since the speeder belongs to the noodle hut, I think it should be called Sakhet's Noodles' delivery speeder instead of Sakhet’s delivery speeder, but if that is incorrect please tell me.
      • The description can still go into that article instead of this one. Here, just briefly mention that they used the vehicle to make deliveries. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • I did that.
          • It's still in this article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:08, October 21, 2020 (UTC)
            • I think I fixed it.
  • "In order to ask for Sakhet's help, Skywalker and Kelen were required to order Corellian buckwheat noodles with rancor sauce, which the both of them found unappetizing." Dangling participle here.
    • Simplified the sentence.
  • "After they received their food, Sakhet took them on a delivery run during which Skywalker and Kelen gathered information that would help them formulate a plan to rescue Bephorin." The bold part is intro-exclusive information.
    • That was added prior to the part in History about the delivery run being cut down. Should it be left in or no?
      • I'd say make a brief mention of it in the article overall. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • Briefly mentioned.
  • Can you make the image caption more specific to the article rather than just a mention of Denon?
    • Not sure what you mean. What are you thinking?
      • If you use the image I suggested below, "Skywalker and Kelen visited Sakhet's Noodles in search of etc. etc." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • We also have an image of Kelen and Skywalker together. I think it would be beneficial to use this image instead of the current one since it's more relevant to the article. If you are going to add it, then I would upload a cropped version separately where the two characters are the focus.
    • Do you think that’s better even though it isn’t on denon?
      • It doesn't have to be. The image illustrates the two characters that the article talks about in History. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • You still need to upload a cropped version separately and use that for this article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:08, October 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • Uploaded cropped version.
            • The image you uploaded is a little blurry, and does not match the file extension of the file I linked above. Also it looks like you upscaled the image, which probably contributed to the blurriness. How did you crop the image? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 16:18, October 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • General underlinking throughout the article (Noodle, Restaurant, Kupohan, Time to name a few). Links have to be repeated between the infobox, introduction, reference notes, and main body. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 19:28, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • Didn’t realize I needed to repeat between intro and body. I think I fixed them all. JediMasterMacaroni Admiral Ackbar RH.png(Conversation) 02:12, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • There were a few more you missed. Be careful of this in future nominations. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "The Kupohan who took the order gave no sign of it being unusual aside from a small twitch of the primary and basal ears." Does the novel clarify which Kupohan this is? The Description says there were at least three, otherwise this one would count as a fourth. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 06:06, October 19, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Plaza had been linked to the disambiguation page, so I created a new page with a conjectural title: Lodos district plaza. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 21:29, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per nomination rule number 3 under How to review, you, the nominator, are not allowed to strike the objections; it's the responsibility of the objector, so please refrain from doing so from here on out. CIS roundel.svg Erebus Chronus (talk) 21:49, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Should order 89 be listed as order 89 or order eighty-nine? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 23:27, October 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Sakhet's Noodles is currently over the 1000 word limit for good articles and will need to be taken down or changed to a featured article nomination. —Tomotron Revanchist Sith.svg (Star Forge) 23:54, October 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I was confused by this in the instructions. Do I try to make it shorter or no? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 23:57, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • Rule 14 states the article is not to be deliberately shortened, if it approaches the limit. —Tomotron Revanchist Sith.svg (Star Forge) 02:23, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
        • You will have to ask a member of the AgriCorps reviewing board to take the nomination down as the article is above the word limit for a Good article nomination. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 08:16, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
          • I took out a bit per objection from zed42. Does that count as deliberately shortening it? By my count it is now at 998. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 02:50, October 12, 2020 (UTC)
            • Do I still need to ask someone to take it down? If so, who? JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 16:36, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
              • After thinking about it, I'd say you should look over the article and try to eliminate any details that fall into "play-by-play" or don't relate to the establishment directly. For example, the first paragraph alone contains a lot of unnecessary fluff about what Luke and Kelen did before they entered Sakhet's. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:34, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I wanted to let you know that I will not be able to edit on saturday or Sunday because of the Jewish holiday. I will try to make up for lost time on Monday. JediMasterMacaroni (talk) 12:56, October 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • As of right now there are no objections. Is there a step that I am supposed to take at this point? JediMasterMacaroni Admiral Ackbar RH.png(Conversation) 23:38, 22 October 2020 (UTC)
    • As long as there are no outstanding objections, the nomination is safe from being taken down. You'll just have to wait until more objections arise or people support the nomination. Zed42 (talk) 23:50, 22 October 2020 (UTC)


Moon of Avedot

  • Nominated by: Zed42 (talk) 21:03, October 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Haven't contributed much to WP:AST or WP:GE lately, so here's one that fits in both.

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  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 20:12, October 16, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • In the first History paragraph, I'd like to see it detailed that the confiscated weapons or whatever were taken from pirates, rather than leaving that info exclusively for the Locations.
    • Done. Zed42 (talk) 02:26, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • I also think that paragraph can cut the unnecessary detail about how and when the New Republic collapsed. You could write that sentence instead like so: "The facility was eventually decommissioned, but the items it contained were left behind, while the New Republic itself eventually collapsed." And then introduce "In 34 ABY" for the next sentence. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:05, October 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • Also done. Zed42 (talk) 02:26, October 18, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Who is the "contact"? It doesn't appear to be linked to anything. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 10:51, October 11, 2020 (UTC)
    • Not established. Poe only mentions the contact after already having met them. Zed42 (talk) 11:02, October 11, 2020 (UTC)


Chief gunnery officer/Legends (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed at Meeting 133.
  • Date added: October 11, 2020

(+0)

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Object

Comments

Hem Dazon

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:15, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Felt like a break from Galaxy's Edge for some old school cantina goodness

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 18:24, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
  2. LordMominutiae (talk) 01:21, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
  3. My vote is redundant, but I'll be polite :P Zed42 (talk) 23:53, October 20, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Zed
  • P&T mentions his skin color twice.
  • The long list of authors for Absolutely Everything You Need to Know can be removed. Zed42 (talk) 10:43, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • His gender should be explicitly mentioned somewhere in the body. Zed42 (talk) 18:13, October 13, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Parmorak sector

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  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan.svg (talk) 11:33, October 17, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 18:56, October 20, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Dononter sector

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)

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  1. ACvote.png Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:21, October 21, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Larrin sector

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Object

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Wyloff sector

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