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This page is for Good article nominations. A Good article is an article that adheres to certain quality standards but cannot reach Featured status due to its limited content. In turn, a Good article features more detail than a Comprehensive article. On this page, users can nominate articles that they believe are ready to be reviewed to achieve Good status.

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Good article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Mixer

(1 ACs/5 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: 2 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Good job on your first GAN. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 07:07, April 10, 2020 (UTC)
  1. Ben sc01t (talk) 06:41, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:03, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
  3. OtterSurf (talk) 10:26, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:05, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  5. ComicalNinja [Talk] 18:48, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Be careful of overusing commas. Keep up the work, though! MasterCommerce GuildFredcerique 21:57, June 23, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • Several redirecting links, which should be fixed.
  • The intro doesn't need to be referenced, because the article has a body.
  • 21 BBY cannot be directly determined from the episode only, and would need an additional reference note.
  • Per the Layout Guide, the initial air date of the episode needs to be added and referenced. The entire BtS cannot be sourced to "ARC Troopers", either, since the first part of about "Voyage of Temptation".
  • Please resolve the missing backup links.
  • Personality and traits is unsourced.
  • There's also some overall underlinking in the biography, if you comb through it and solve that.spookywillowwtalk 17:10, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated. --TK-462 (talk)
      • There is no release date for the episode, still.spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! It's good to go now. --TK-462 (talk)
          • The OOU air date needs a separate reference other than just the "Voyage of Temptation" page- it can't be sourced to the episode alone. What I mean is to pull the air date from a source like the episode guide or tv.com.spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
            • I answered my previous question, I got that cleaned up and the air date is now referenced correctly --TK-462 (talk)
  • You're in Category:Infoboxes with missing parameters.
  • Human, as the species, is infobox-exclusive.spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. --TK-462 (talk)
      • 'Human' is still intro exclusive. Should be mentioned in either the biography or P&T, as well.spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the P&T, I'm fairly sure him being 1.83 meters tall, or the colors for his hair, skin, and eye color can't be sourced to the episode alone. Likely, need to be pulled from elsewhere (probably, the databank entry used for those same things in the infobox)spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I can't believe I've missed it for that long! Thanks for the catch. --TK-462 (talk)
Shayanomer
  • Phase I clone trooper armor can be added to Equipment.
  • Since there are only two paragraphs in the biography, the sections are unnecessary.
  • 501st Legion is currently exclusive to the infobox. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Mentioning the 501st and Redeye in the Personality and traits is unnecessary, 501st can be moved to the biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:43, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • You'll need make a number of corrections to the date reference. First, Galactic Atlas does not mention the event that involves Mixer's death, so you will need to remove that from the first sentence. Second, you need to use the chronological episode order to confirm that Voyage of Temptation is set between the Ryloth battle and the conspiracy. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:41, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated, both references have been added. I'm a bit iffy as to how they should be worded, but I believe the content is clear. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Good, now you need to combine them into one reference. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:13, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • There we go! Hopefully that sets it up to par. --TK-462 (talk)
          • I've made a few tweaks. but good job overall. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • I would suggest reworking the paragraph structure. You have a big paragraph right after a paragraph with two sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Is there any reason I shouldn't just combine them into one paragraph? I guess that first paragraph could just be removed, but I feel that it adds a bit of clarity so the reader doesn't have to comb through the references quite as much. --TK-462 (talk)
      • I counted 8 sentences in the Biography. Perhaps you should split them into 4 sentences each, it would help with readability. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:42, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Not much of a change on my part, but does that work? --TK-462 (talk)
  • Grand Army is intro-exclusive.
  • You can't say Mixer was assigned to the 501st between 21 and 20 BBY. He could've been assigned before that point in time.
  • Height, hair, eye and skin color are infobox-exclusive.
  • Redeye being assigned to the same team should be mentioned in the first paragraph.
  • His dialogue towards Redeye could be detailed in the biography as well.
  • You should explain why Redeye disappeared and how Mixer was unaware of his death initially.
  • Him trying to contact Redeye is another quote that can be added to the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:04, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • What if I added the quote at the beginning of the page to Personality and traits, and switch it with the one where Mixer is trying to contact Redeye? --TK-462 (talk)
    • All of the above edits have been done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Physical traits need to go under "Personality and traits". Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:44, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! That's my bad. --TK-462 (talk)
          • Great. You may have noticed that I added links where possible. Underlinking is a valid objection, so you'll need to keep that in mind for future nominations. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:52, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • I did, thanks for checking my work. I just double checked the links in the bio and was able to knock out a couple that had been linked twice, that should be all there is. --TK-462 (talk)
  • R2-D2 will need more context. Who does he belong to? Why was he there in the first place? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 04:07, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • It took rewatching the episode, but I've reworked the bio so the order of events is actually correct now, and I was able to add another quote to give some more depth to the page. I think that should clear that objection up?--TK-462 (talk)
      • It would still be better to list Skywalker as the droid's owner, as he was also on the ship. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 05:24, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Gotcha. Assuming I don't have to list off a bunch of Skywalker's titles, it should be good to go. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Going through the article again, you can definitely expand on what happened after Mixer's death, specifically Skywalker, Rex and Cody's investigation.
  • In relation to the above objection, you should list who led the escort team. This would make the mention of Skywalker's droid later in the paragraph fit more into place. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:01, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I added a new paragraph detailing the escort's response, I think it ties things together better. I also added the escort team's leaders in the first paragraph to add continuity throughout the page. --TK-462 (talk)
  • "Redeye was then spooked by R2-D2, but found nothing of note." I would remove this since it doesn't involve Mixer at all.
  • You mention in the last part of the second paragraph that the droids were smuggled by Merrik, but this should be made clear with the first mention of the assassin droid.
  • The quote at the top of the page needs to be combined into one sentence, since only Mixer is speaking. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As he continued his search, an SD-K4 assassin droid attacked and killed Redeye." You should also make it clear that Mixer was completely unaware of what happened to Redeye. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:55, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • All three above have been updated, thanks for catching those. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Hopefully this is my last objection: "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. The trooper then moved to Redeye's last known location, where he found his DC-15A blaster carbine, but Redeye was nowhere to be found." I would suggest rewording this to improve the flow of the sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:29, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I think that should work a little bit better. --TK-462 (talk)
  • There is enough space for an image now. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:45, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Don't you think it should be an image of Mixer surveying the area, or being attacked by the droid? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 03:42, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm having some trouble finding one in an official source, the one I uploaded was the best I could find from the episode guide. --TK-462 (talk)
          • JMAS can get one in HD for you, just leave him a message. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:27, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
            • Images have been uploaded and added to the page. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 00:41, April 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Gonna have to rescind my vote, sorry (there are already too many non-AC votes). The revised date note still needs more work. Scum and Villainy does not use the BBY/ABY system, so you need to explain how you convert that book's dating system (C.R.C.) to the one used by Galactic Atlas. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:28, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Actually, Scum and Villainy's dating system is in question, so just go back to the original date note. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 16:39, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • Similar to my objection for Kosmos, the Databank reference needs to include a manual reference note to explain how it relates to Mixer. Zed42 (talk) 01:06, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. --TK-462 (talk) 01:38, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Regarding the TCW date note, that StarWars.com chronology does not mention the Battle of Ryloth or the Mandalorian black market conspiracy at all, it only dates the TCW episodes that feature those events. So you should clarify this in the reference note like this one, for example.
    • Fixed. Since I don't have the GA, I found two major events that were as close as possible to the episode chronologically to reference. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Based on the infobox image alone, I think you can say that the trooper's armor featured built-in comlink in the Equipment section.
  • Unless there is a source that explicitly says Mixer showed this behaviour, I think the bit about withstanding any combat stress is not relevant to this article. There are many traits shared by all clone troopers (growth acceleration, behavioral modification biochips, etc.), and those specifications belong in the clone trooper article. Just mentioning the clone's fundamental traits (eye color, gender, homeworld, etc.) should suffice for this article.
    • Makes sense, it's been removed. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Per our Manual of Style, articles shall use the serial comma as standard. You can read more about it here if you like. I've fixed it for you, but please keep this in mind for your future nominations. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:12, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the Biography section, Kamino being located in the Outer Rim cannot be sourced to that reference note. You should either add another reference for that, or expand the current note accordingly.
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 01:12, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, this new source you've added, the Databank entry for Kamino, states that the planet was located "beyond the Outer Rim," which suggests that the information you've got there is incorrect. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:21, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, thanks for catching that. After reviewing a couple similar GAs, I just removed any mention of the Outer Rim altogether, as there wasn't really a concrete location other than it's direction in relation to the OR. TK-462 (talk) 16:39, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) There is no need to add links to disambiguation pages in the in-universe sections of an article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:32, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • The P&T image is colliding with the Equipment header. I suggest resizing, relocating, or removing it.
  • I think the first quote's audio can be cropped better so it's only the quote itself, not a couple of seconds of random thumps.
    • I don't know that I'm able to fix it due to my computer, but I'll see what I can do.
      • Audacity is probably the best option, but if you're on Mac like me, I find an application called MixPad Multitrack Recorder to work just as well.
        • Good to know, thank you. I'll see what I can do. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have you managed to handle this objection yet? Tommy-Macaroni 17:19, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
            • It is fixed. For future reference, I used TwistedWave, which is available without download and worked pretty well for my purposes. TK-462 (talk) 19:52, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Would it be possible to get a better source for the episode's release date? The current one is okay, but the link itself is obviously obsolete. A live link is preferable.
    • I can't actually see the release date on that link.
      • I've been looking around, and the only other source that has been used in GAs is the Legends sourcebook from 2013. I've changed it back to the original reference as I can't find a more suitable one. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for the Coronet in the intro.
  • "Mixer was a human clone of the bounty hunter Jango Fett who hailed from the planet Kamino." - It's unclear if the Kamino bit is referring to Mixer or Jango.
  • Context for the Clone Wars in History.
  • Do written sources capitalise "Duchess" when it's written without an accompanying name?
    • I didn't have much to go off of, but I don't think that there would have been any reason to based off what I saw. Same rules apply as military ranks it appears. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Indeed.
  • "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. Mixer proceeded" - Two consecutive sentences starting the same is discouraged, please vary this wording.
  • "Still, Redeye was nowhere to be found" - This is kinda informal, and also unnecessary imo. If Redeye's body was with his gun, it would have been mentioned already.
  • "but was also ambushed by one of the assassin droids smuggled on board by the traitorous Senator Tal Merrik" - Could this context for the assassin droids not be put when you introduce the subject with Redeye's death?
  • I feel like the term "clone trooper" is used kinda late in the body. I think this should be mentioned a lot earlier, if not the first sentence of the history.
    • "Mixer was a human clone trooper of the bounty hunter Jango Fett" - This now reads like Mixer was under the direct ownership of Jango.
  • Maybe it's just me, but I don't think joking about the dark is really a "dark sense of humor" (aside from the pun I've just noticed). Like, the dark isn't a particularly controversial or taboo topic. I think you ought to just say "a sense of humor."
    • ...fixed :( TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm assuming it's a wrist comlink? If it is, you can be most specific instead of just saying "affixed to his armor."
  • "His arm plates and helmet bore unique blue stripes marking him as a member of the 501st Legion." - I think you can be a little more descriptive about the armour markings, considering that's really all that makes this guy visually unique.
    • "blue stripes crescent markings" - This is grammatically incorrect.
    • I'd also say it isn't "unique," as that clone on Kamino also had these markings per the BTS. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
      • Oh, good point. I've fixed it now. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Like all clone troopers in the series, he was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker." - I don't think the former statement can be sourced to this one episode. I think wording it like "As a clone trooper, Mixer was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker" or something could work. Tommy-Macaroni 12:57, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above objections, except a couple I noted. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should never link to disambiguation pages in an article body. It is correct to use [[Duke|duchess]] as I did. Also, please make sure to link to subjects upon their first mention.
  • Links should be specific on their first mention, then get more general. Eg, Nau'ur-class yacht, then yacht. Duchess of Mandalore, then Duchess. Pipelinks are fine for this too, eg, Nau'ur-class yacht can be pipelinked to just yacht, and indeed it should be in the intro. Please fix this.
  • Please make sure you pay attention to what I did in my copy-edit, so the mistakes I fixed aren't made again. Upon their second mention, clone troopers should be formatted as [[Cloning|clone]] [[trooper]]s.
  • When pipelinking, the link is always capitalised. For example, never do [[cloning|clone]]. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above four objections, and thanks for the help on some of the linking stuff. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think for an article of this length the intro can be expanded. You can add more detail from the History, and even parts of P&T and Equipment.
  • Per precedent on clone articles, you should format the name as "Mixer" in the infobox, the first mention in the intro, and the first mention in the body. Subsequent mentions in the intro and body should just be as Mixer. See 1 2 3 examples.
    • Check again. Tommy-Macaroni 11:45, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • Gotcha, missed the infobox. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 19:23, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • In both the intro and body, you need to introduce "Mixer" as a nickname. Tommy-Macaroni 18:32, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above three objections. I may have erred on the side of excess information in the intro, but if you feel it's too much I can trim some. TK-462 (talk) 20:25, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • For the biography, while I appreciate your efforts to create a subsection, you shouldn't have some information under a subsection and some the regular section. In this case, all information in the biography should exist under a subsection. I think we could have the first two paragraphs (up to "began their sweep, accompanied by Skywalker's astromech droid, R2-D2.[3]") under something like "Early service" and the latter two under something like "Death," although other titles could certainly work. Tommy-Macaroni 20:34, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • I divided it again, hopefully the flow has improved. TK-462 (talk) 01:02, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Vitus
  • It should be noted that Mixer's customized look was also utilized by a contingent of clone troopers during the Battle of Kamino in ARC Troopers, when Obi-Wan and Anakin are together fighting in the city.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:01, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • That's noted in the BTC, but I didn't add it to the main article as it didn't seem relavant to the article. TK-462 (talk) 21:23, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay, additionally I'm thinking you should make note in the BTS that there were several clones who used his armor design, since the way it's worded it can't be known whether it appeared on one person or several.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:45, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, good point. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 02:15, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
ComicalNinja
Toprawa
  • For starters, I'd say the Biography has enough content to be organized into four paragraphs, which will in turn allow for a neat division of two subsections of each. This will also allow for an additional quote, if available. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 04:41, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's not really any applicable quotes, but I readjusted the current ones to be a little more applicable to their locations. I did make the bio into four paragraphs, but it didn't make sense to me to have it split right in half, given that Mixer's appearance consisted of one scene that didn't require any sectioning. TK-462 (talk) 01:11, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • I would suggest joining our IRC or Discord channels so that we can expedite conversation with regard to this nomination. It looks like there's quite a bit of basic information for article nomination and formatting that needs to be explained you, which isn't practically done through nomination pages like this. Real-time conversation is much easier and preferable for this. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:17, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Will do. I don't have access to Discord currently, but I'm trying to be as active as possible on the IRC despite work and college classes. TK-462 (talk) 16:19, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
          • Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 13:49, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The fact that Merrik is plotting to kill Satine is intro exclusive. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • You need to mention Mandalore is a planet. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think certainly the first, and maybe the second, body images could be cropped to cut out a lot of the empty dark space. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there not a quote for the first body section? It could be a general quote about having clones sweep the ship or something. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 20:34, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The new quote reminded me that you should mention Death Watch in the article since they're the ones the clones are patrolling to search for, plus Merrik is a member. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah, good point. Added to intro and body. TK-462 (talk) 03:37, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per recent discussions, we shouldn't include clone troopers' eye or skin colour unless it's shown. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ignore this for now as it's still under debate. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:42, July 2, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Shayanomer
  • If you haven't already, enable "Highlight all redirects orange" in Preferences (under the Gadgets tab).
  • I'm gonna figure out how to reference 21 BBY. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Great, thank you for the tip! --TK-462 (talk)
      • Ok so for 21 BBY, you will have to replace the timeframe with "between 21 BBY and 20 BBY." The chronological episode order places Voyage of Temptation after the end of the Battle of Ryloth and before the Mandalorian black market conspiracy. Star Wars: Galactic Atlas places the former in 21 BBY, and the latter event in 20 BBY. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 05:40, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Okay, I'll change that on both of the places where it's referenced. I can still reference those dates to the episode, yes? -- TK-462 (talk)
          • Nope, you will need to write up a reference explaining why episode takes place in that timeframe using the sources I listed above. There are plenty of existing Good articles you can use to understand how date references are written. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:30, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • Will do, we'll see what I can find.
              • Another thing, make sure to leave a message below the objections once you've finished addressing them, otherwise the nomination will be taken down if they're left unaddressed for 10 days. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:03, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
                • Awesome, thanks for helping me through this. I'll note yours once I've finished the referencing. --TK-462 (talk)
  • I would strongly suggest familiarizing yourself with the rules for nominations. You cannot strike other users' objections. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:51, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • I read that right after I did it... sorry about that. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Just a heads up, I've replaced the reference for the air date with the old episode guide, since the new ones do not have the air date in them. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you add an {{Imagecat}}? I didn't notice this until now. I can show you how to do it if you're new to this. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 16:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've never done it before, from what I can tell I have to add individual images to the category the template is referencing. I would love some help, if you wouldn't mind. TK-462 (talk) 17:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • Done. It's basically {{Imagecat|Images of [Subject name]}}. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:26, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Oh! That easy. Thanks for the help as always :) TK-462 (talk) 17:28, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Deviss
  • Although not an objection, I think sound files for the quotes could greatly improve the quality of the article. Other than that, I see no problems. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:01, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'll work on figuring this out in the future, thanks for the heads up! TK-462 (talk) 17:22, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Lewisr
  • It looks like you can definitively place his death in 21 BBY, Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy's Most Notorious dates Boba's Sabotage of the Endurance to 7956 C.R.C (21 BBY). Also the Atlas dates the second battle of Geonosis to 21 BBY if you'd rather use that than the Zillo beast episodes as it narrows the gap between the episodes, though that's up to you! --Lewisr (talk) 02:19, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Awesome, thanks for letting me know! I've updated the reference note to make the window of time where Mixer was involved as specific as possible, thanks again for the heads up. TK-462 (talk) 04:08, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • No worries! Nice job --Lewisr (talk) 13:51, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
        • Apologies for messing you about with this, but since we've just discovered that we can't definitively say that the numbers in Scum and Villainy refer to years, we'll have to change his death date back to what it was. Sorry once again! --Lewisr (talk) 16:40, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
          • No worries, it happens. Let me know if it needs to be changed again for any reason regarding that book or otherwise. TK-462 (talk) 18:16, June 10, 2020 (UTC)


Crys

  • Nominated by: TK-462 (talk) 17:26, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:23, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:17, May 26, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Shayanomer
  • Since the clone is shown to be blonde, "black hair" and the fact that he "dyed" his hair should be removed from here, since the latter seems a little speculatory.
  • "After completing the robolobotomy, Crys gave a brief report to Kenobi. Crys worked closely with Commander Cody and General Kenobi, with Kenobi passing orders to his forces through Crys." I would remove this from the Skills, since it doesn't really talk about them.
  • 212th is missing from the body.
    • Fixed the above. --TK-462 (talk) 12:47, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • You have a number of reference issues:
  • You've sourced Grievous' escape to the Databank, which doesn't have this info.
  • You've also sourced the battle directly to Galactic Atlas. Like your Mixer nomination, a date note is required here.
    • The Battle of Saleucami page states that the battle occurred in 21 BBY, is this inaccurate, or did I just need to add some context to the reference? --TK-462 (talk) 12:47, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • The book doesn't directly date the battle, so you will need to create a note stating why it takes place in that year. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:51, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the BTS, you only need to source the air date to the episode guide, the rest of the info can be sourced to the episode. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 07:00, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above, excepting the previous question. --TK-462 (talk) 12:51, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • The Grievous reference is still outstanding. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:20, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • I believe that should have it fixed. I'm a bit iffy regarding that specific case, but I think the references are in a more comprehensible order now. --TK-462 (talk) 06:45, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
          • For future reference, you only need to source words like "Outer Rim" and "planet" to the databank, the planet's name can be covered by the episode itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 08:37, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
          • Thanks, I appreciate the help. --TK-462 (talk) 14:51, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Missing voice actor.
  • Date issue: Body says "21 BBY," yet date note says the event took place between 21 and 20 BBY.
  • "Crys accompanied Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi, Clone Commander CC-2224 "Cody," Clone Captain CT-7567 "Rex" and many other Republic troops and vehicles." Where did Crys accompany them to?
  • AT-TE will need a little context, like "AT-TE walkers." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:48, April 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Ref issue in the Biography: 212th and Grand Army are sourced to the clone trooper reference.
  • "Grievous' landing craft was damaged, and crashed on the planet, although several escape pods managed to launch." The flow of this sentence can be improved.
  • "...before deducing that the droids were too damaged for any good intelligence." Were they trying to acquire said intelligence? It should be made clear here.
  • Small inconsistency between the second and third paragraphs: You say the droid was brought into a tank, then say the group was inside a walker.
  • Personality and traits can be restructured to improve the flow, preferably split into two separate sentences. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:23, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
  • Since we can clearly see Crys' face unmasked, the info about the eyes and skin in the clone trooper reference is unnecessary and can be sourced to the episode itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 08:48, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 01:09, April 29, 2020 (UTC)
      • That information is still in the reference and should be removed. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 07:15, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • I was testing to see if you saw through the lies of the Jedi, you passed. Oh and it's fixed. TK-462 (talk) 08:00, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
          • The height didn't need to be removed. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:35, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro can be expanded a bit to elaborate on Crys' actions. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:15, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added a sentance to help expand on his actions and skills. TK-462 (talk) 14:47, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now there's an inconsistency, intro says he dismantled many droids while body says he dismantled one of them. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:58, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • My bad! That should be the last issue for that particular problem, lol. TK-462 (talk) 17:33, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should elaborate more on "the droids" here: "Crys accompanied the AT-TE walkers, Kenobi, and Commander Cody to an escape pod, and inspected a destroyed B1 battle droid for any possible intelligence before deducing that the droids were too damaged for any reliable information to be extracted." Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:47, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. I believe that was a continuity error from the original article that I missed, so I just removed the plural. TK-462 (talk) 17:18, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
Ben
  • Both clauses in the first biography sentence start with "was a." This should be revised.
  • I have some gripes with the final paragraph:
    • "Later, General Kenobi asked if they found any data, to which they briefed him that the droid's escape pod crashed to avoid a mid-air collision with another pod, which was the remaining escape pod that needed to be located." Firstly I think it would sound better if you wrote it like "When Kenobi later asked if they had found any date, they brief him&hellip"
    • The latter two clauses for the sentence above start similarly and so I'd rather see the final clause attached to the part about Grevious heading for the pod.
    • "General Grievous was heading towards that same escape pod, and Cody was able to pinpoint the pod's location." these two clauses don't look like they relate to each other enough. In addition to the objection above, I think this sentence should also be split so that the last sentence introduced Cody locating the pot and then them going to it and a battle starting, if that makes sense to you. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 21:10, May 16, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • "Intelligence" in the opening links to an Imperial organization.
  • "As Grievous descended upon the planet, his landing craft was damaged and was forced to jettison numerous escape pods, one of which included the general himself." The ship can't be forced to jettison escape pods, but the crew be forced to flee.
  • "…a fellow clone trooper spotted an undamaged battle droid." Not sure "undamaged" is the best word choice here, as that implies the droid is working fine, whereas in the episode it's "unconscious." RattsT (talk) 06:02, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 17:41, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • It is general practice for clone trooper articles to establish their relation to Jango Fett in the biography as well, not just the P&T.
  • This sentence should probably be broken in two. During the Clone Wars between the Confederacy of Independent Systems and the Galactic Republic, the Confederacy Supreme Commander of the Droid Army, General Grievous, escaped to the surface of the Outer Rim planet Saleucami in a C-9979 landing craft during the Battle of Saleucami, following an engagement with the Republic Navy between 21 BBY and 20 BBY.
  • I'm assuming that "it" refers to the battle droid here. However, it is also feasible that Kenobi ordered to bring the entire escape pod aboard the walker. Please clarify to avoid any potential confusion. Soon after, a fellow clone trooper spotted an undamaged battle droid inside the escape pod, and Kenobi ordered it to be brought into one of the AT-TE walkers.
  • P&T. Is the fact that the robolobotomy was performed aboard the walker relevant here? Would he have any less skill in that task if it were performed out in the open? He also had the skill to successfully perform a robolobotomy on a B1 battle droid inside an AT-TE walker,
  • Equipment. Based on available information, it's better to clarify that he was equipped with Phase I armor during the Battle of Saleucami specifically. There is a possibility that Crys switched to Phase II armor later on, so we should be careful with the wording here.
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 18:09, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Keep in mind that "blonde" is a female-only adjective, the male equivivalent being "blond". It is one of the few gender-specific adjectives in English, as it was originally loaned from French. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:58, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • I had no idea, thanks for catching that. TK-462 (talk) 18:09, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Image file names need to use underscores instead of spaces.
    • Although I tried to upload a corrected version of the file, the name remains the same. I don't have an option to change the name that I can see, how would I go about doing that? TK-462 (talk) 20:11, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • He means the file pipelink in the article. It doesn't get affected if you add underscores like this [[File:Crys_full_armor.png]]. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 20:22, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
        • Got it. I totally misread that and thought it was referring to dashes rather than spaces or something. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per precedent on clone articles, you should format the name as "Crys" in the infobox, the first mention in the intro, and the first mention in the body. Subsequent mentions in the intro and body should just be as Crys.
  • In both the intro and body, you need to introduce "Crys" as a nickname.
  • Duplicate link.
  • I wouldn't say clones were "born."
  • "intact—albeit inactive—battle droid" - we don't use dashes like that, they need to be typed as "—"
  • Please add a {{Youmay}} for Crys Taanzer. Tommy-Macaroni 18:50, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed all, except one noted. TK-462 (talk) 20:11, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • The biography is looking quite bloated, I recommend splitting it into two subsections with two paragraphs each. Tommy-Macaroni 20:26, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've reworked it a little bit, I think that the paragraphs are split a little more effectively, and the page should read better now. If you have any issues with how it looks I'm happy to take another look at it of course. TK-462 (talk) 00:53, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • Now you have a tiny sentence for one subsection and three massive paragraphs for the second. Ideally, the subsections should be the same length. Furthermore, you don't mention Crys anywhere in the "Battle of Saleucami" section, which is generally an indiction there's excessive context. Tommy-Macaroni 13:06, June 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • I pruned the opening paragraphs (now just the one) to be a bit more concise, and also got each paragraph to roughly the same length. TK-462 (talk) 18:25, June 25, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • I've fixed that for you, but for future nominations, please create em dashes (—) by typing "—" and en dashes (–) by typing "–" per the Manual of Style. Same goes for ellipsis (…), which can be created by typing "…." TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:51, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Understood, thank you for the heads up. TK-462 (talk) 17:48, June 7, 2020 (UTC)


Ginder

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 12:22, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:57, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 13:13, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Imp
  • Publication date. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Implement {{WizardsCite}}. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • In the reference, too. And move what you have under Sources to Appearances and remove the Sources section. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • What evidence is there for placing the subject in the Rise of the Empire era? Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • The supplement outright states that it takes place then. OtterSurf (talk) 18:37, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • That may be, but the article needs to provide in-universe reasoning for that in the body. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Having re-checked the supplement, it actually states that Head Trip can take place in any era, so I'm now not sure the eras field even applies. OtterSurf (talk) 09:22, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Never mind, fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 11:51, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
          • What you have there right now makes no sense. The adventure is explicitly set in the Rise of the Empire era, which is set between 1000 BBY and 0 BBY, so you can work from that. Is the Galactic Republic mentioned as existing in the adventure? If so, that narrows it down to 1000 BBY and 19 BBY. I believe the Living Force Campaign Guide also establishes a date for the colonization of the Cularin system, so that can be used as another boundary for the date range. And then you should try and determine whether the adventure ties in any way with the events of the Living Force campaign, which may tie down the events to before, during, or after 31 BBY. Imperators II(Talk) 17:43, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
            • Just reread the supplement, and I quote: "Note that while Head Trip takes place in the setting established in The Living Force Campaign Guide, the events, places, and individuals in this adventure don't come from the RPGA's Living Force campaign. The Cularin system holds a wealth of possibilities for exciting adventures, and Gamemasters shouldn't feel constrained by the Living Force campaign when designing their own home games. Head Trip is an example of how to put your own spin on the setting". So does that mean the era field doesn't even apply here, or what? OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
              • It does apply. Per the first sentence you quoted, I believe we can safely assume that the events of the adventure take place concurrently with the events of the Living Force. Take the date from the Living Force Campaign Guide and use it with "around." Imperators II(Talk) 18:38, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
                • Great. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 18:43, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
                  • The current ref note erroneously uses 32 BBY, not 31 BBY, and it doesn't mention the adventure at all. Imperators II(Talk) 07:51, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • The Essential Atlas does not mention Genarius, please revise your referencing. Imperators II(Talk) 14:05, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Corrected. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • That is not what you had to do, OtterSurf. Take a look at the articles you've previously brought to status to see what needs to be put there. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing an error in the lead quote, so correct that and go through all the others and check them, too. Imperators II(Talk) 14:10, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Our article for the droid model is named incorrectly, that needs to be corrected. Imperators II(Talk) 14:10, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please split up the largest paragraph of the article and add an image. Imperators II(Talk) 14:12, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Paragraph split. What image can I use, though? Head Trip doesn't provide any. OtterSurf (talk) 18:27, May 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • You can use images of related subjects from other sources. For example, we have an image of Genarius. Imperators II(Talk) 08:45, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • If the Bimm are a furred species, then specifying this in the article for a single Bimm is unnecessary. It's like saying Chewbacca was a hairy Wookiee.
    • Bimms come in two flavours: furry and humanoid. I have removed a redundant mention of it, though. OtterSurf (talk) 11:23, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Attire goes into Equipment, not P&T.
  • Reviewing note: Equipment always goes under the P&T, and below Skills if present. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:31, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Species comes before gender. Please reflect this in the article. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:08, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro can be expanded slightly with more details on the events surrounding the head.
    • Added info about the cantina fight. OtterSurf (talk) 12:43, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does the source italicize "Falling Rodian"?
  • If a subject only has one appearance, then saying "first appeared" is unnecessary. See the recent EC meeting log for more details.
    • Done. Also reflected in the BTS. OtterSurf (talk) 12:31, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • Umm, you did not need to remove "1st" from Appearances, that was only for the BTS. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:47, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per precedent, you need to state that the article assumes the adventure plays out as described in the source. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:19, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Reference 2 provides a firm date for the adventure. This date is not present in the article itself. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:04, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Preliminaries:
    • Please implement an Oxford comma.
      • Done, I think. OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • No you haven't. Please take some time to research what an Oxford comma is and try again. The MoS would be a good place to start, although the first page of a google search of that term also explains it well.
          • I know what it is, thank you. I'm not sure where it applies here. I'll take another look. OtterSurf (talk) 08:58, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
          • Done. I've put it after "muzzle". OtterSurf (talk) 09:22, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Please make the formatting of Head Trip consistent.
      • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 15:58, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • No you haven't. Sometimes it is italicised, sometimes it is in quotes. Which is correct? And I have no idea why you've removed the template from ref 2.
    • File links in the body should be formatted "file:name | thumb | location | size | caption."
      • Size? OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yes, that's what's missing. Please specify it.
    • Please implement — instead of —.
    • Watch out for formatting issues like double spaces. Tommy-Macaroni 18:11, June 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • I've been over the article with a fine tooth comb and can't find that. Where is it? OtterSurf (talk) 15:54, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I doubt that. You have two instances of double spaces in this article which can be easily found by using ctrl+f or your computer's equivalent. These are very simple objections Otter, they shouldn't be requiring this much effort from either of us. Tommy-Macaroni 22:04, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • I don't have that option available since I'm on an Android phone. This would move a lot faster if you just told me where the double spaces are. As above, I'll check again. OtterSurf (talk) 08:58, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
            • I appreciate the difficulty of you being on mobile, and that you may not have any choice in the matter, but I'm afraid this really isn't ideal for article nominations. I can see just from my previous objections here that you being on a phone has made addressing these far more difficult than they ought to be, and I'm afraid this will make nominations more lengthy and difficult for both you and reviewers. But regardless, while I could tell you were they are, that doesn't help you become a better writer for future projects. According to these two pages, a version of ctrl+f is available on android. Please do some research into this, as find text is an invaluable tool in article writing you really need to know how to perform. Tommy-Macaroni 12:02, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
              • Alright. Done that. Chrome tells me that there's only one double space in the article, but won't show me where it is. A visual scan of the marked page shows only single spaces. I'm starting to find this extremely frustrating. OtterSurf (talk) 12:43, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
                • Yeah don't get sassy with me, you chose to nominate this article on mobile and the restrictions that come with it, so you really shouldn't be surprised at the fact that you have to find ways to work around those restrictions. Now, I can assure you there are two instances of double spaces in the article. If Chrome isn't working properly, have you tried copy-pasting the contents of the article into another app, one with a better find text feature, or even better, a find and replace tool? I sympathise with the restrictions of mobile but, to be blunt, you don't seem to be trying very hard to find alternative solutions to those restrictions. You are a regular article nominator, so you knowing how to perform a text search is imperative. I can guarantee you will need to do so for future nominations. And yes, I could tell you where the double spaces are, that does nothing to help you as a writer. Self-sufficiency is a requirement of nominating, and it is not the job of reviewers to construct and modify articles for nominators who don't know how to or can't do it themselves. Your nomination is your responsibility. So, instead of complaining about my objection, please put some effort in and find a way for you to access a text search. Tommy-Macaroni 13:58, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
                  • Uh, I'm not getting sassy with you. Think you misread my comment. Anyway, I've run the text of the article through a double-space removal tool. All double spaces should be absent now. OtterSurf (talk) 15:35, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • There are at least two links that are not formatted properly.
    • Fixed. The Wizards one might still need doing, though. OtterSurf (talk) 15:38, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yes, there's another one in that Wizards reference note. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:48, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
        • I meant the WOTC pipelink. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 16:55, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
          • No, the one you've just changed was actually properly formatted before you changed it. I'm talking about the one in the reference note #2. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 17:27, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
            • Ah. Well, now it's fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 18:39, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please fix the placement of quotation marks in BTS, per this item of the Manual of Style: "Per standards of American English, double quotation marks (" ") should be used and the period (full stop), comma, question and exclamation marks should be within the quotation."
  • As far as I can see, Cularin system's criminal organization has its own article, which should be linked in this article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 14:33, June 11, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Minka

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 10:35, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Meow.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 AC vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:13, June 1, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • While the Biography has her homeworld, it is missing from the infobox.
    • How the hell did I miss that? Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 10:38, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • The ref note for her species input of the infobox should be worded to specifically mention how that defines Minka as Cantrosian. The years are not necessary in that note, nor is 'finally' named. Just that the species from the prior source, of which Minka was a part, was identified as such.
  • The intro could be expanded for an article of this size.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:47, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • I still think two or three more sentences than is now there would suit best.spookywillowwtalk 21:30, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Really think that's as long as I can make it. OtterSurf (talk) 10:48, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • While the additions made it longer, the majority of the introduction now consists of run-on sentences that could be split.spookywillowwtalk 18:10, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • I believe that her colleagues (Sami/Durne) could be introduced at the end of the first paragraph. She clearly had been working with them before she lost her wingmates, so it would logically suit to note that she had met them at some point by the time of the X-wing incident.
  • The last sentence of the P&T seems like a run-on, it should be able to split into two sentences.
  • The author of the comic issue she appears in should be specified.spookywillowwtalk 21:45, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
TQG
  • Please add subject categories to the images of her used in the article and place {{Imagecat}} into the article once a category for images of her is created. Toqgers (talk) 03:39, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • As I pointed out in Ginder's nomination, Equipment goes below Skills.
  • Do Minka's faction and the Imperial cell not have articles of their own?
    • Do they need articles? I don't think they'd be very substantial, even for potential CAs. OtterSurf (talk) 09:28, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context and linking for Millennium Falcon.
  • "With Durne's treachery exposed and the traitor himself in custody." This is the first time you mention a "traitor" in the article. It's not clear who this is referring to. Reword if it's Durne.
  • Any starships the character has used can be detailed in Equipment.
  • Full release date for comic required. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:14, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 09:28, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don't believe this can be sourced to the comic itself. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:34, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
        • No, of course not. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 10:34, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have you verified that this source provides the date used in the article? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:46, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • You mention that she is a Cantrosian female twice in the body, when it is only required once.
  • I can see some space for sub-sectioning in the biography.
    • When you introduce sub-sections in the body, nothing should be left out; all information should be under those sub-sections. Also, single-paragraph sub-sections should be avoided where possible. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 13:53, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
      • That's cleared a lot up, thanks. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 14:14, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm sure there's another quote you can add under the second sub-section. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:16, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "More Cantrosian Y-wings appeared and shot the Falcon down, forcing the ship to land in a gully." "Shot down" means the ship was knocked out of the sky, but we know this isn't the case in the next part of this sentence. Try substituting it with something else.
  • Context for Niru.
  • Minka hiding with Organa is sourced to the Hyperspace link, which doesn't seem to be in the Appearances or Sources. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 13:07, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Reference 4 needs more work. I don't see how it relates in any way to Minka, especially since it mentions Lumiya for some reason, who isn't mentioned in the article proper.
    • That's going to be tricky, but I'm up for it. Watch this space. OtterSurf (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 21:00, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • What if the Battle of Endor was fought in the last days of 4 ABY? Then "weeks after" would be 5 ABY. In order for this ref to work, you need to establish how far into 4 ABY the Battle of Endor took place (with an attributable source, obviously). QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:10, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
        • Rechecked TNEC and done. OtterSurf (talk) 08:20, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • Unless a source explicitly describes her hair as being "marmalade-colored," we should avoid such flowery prose.
  • The word "figurehead" usually bears a negative connotation, meaning a fake ruler who is controlled by a more powerful individual behind the scenes. I wouldn't apply this term to Han, Luke and Leia.
  • The beginning of the bio mentions only Minka joining the Rebellion, yet later you mention "her Rebellion-loyal" faction back on her homeworld, as if she had been a member of this group before joining the Rebellion. If so, then this fact should be established earlier.
  • What was Durne's motive for manipulating the factions of Cantros-7? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:44, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • The Nagai Knife recruited him to sow discord. I'll work it in. OtterSurf (talk) 20:49, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 21:00, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Preliminaries:
    • File links in the body should be formatted "file:name | thumb | location | size | caption."
    • {{Hyperspace}} is not formatted properly.
      • How? Archive links don't exist. OtterSurf (talk) 15:40, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Empty "int" field. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • That's not required. Says so on the template page. OtterSurf (talk) 08:52, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
            • But that doesn't mean you should keep an empty field you don't use when formatting the template, does it? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 09:20, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
              • Ahhhhhh! Of course. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 09:24, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Many links/pipelinks in the article are not formatted properly.
      • Can you point those out? OtterSurf (talk) 15:43, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • [[Wingmate/Legends|wingmate]]s, ''[[Millennium Falcon/Legends|Millennium Falcon]]'', and countless more. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Missing categories.
      • And those are? OtterSurf (talk) 15:40, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • For starters, isn't she a member of the Rebel Alliance? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
          • That's never stated outright, just that Minka and her faction are loyal to it. OtterSurf (talk) 08:50, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • What is the page number for the section that provides the release date for the comic in Marvel Age #23 exactly? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 06:48, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • The cover states the date, while Catspaw is listed on page 5. OtterSurf (talk) 15:31, June 8, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Assertor-class Command Dreadnought

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 15:19, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  2. RattsT (talk) 20:25, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Everything looks great! CIS roundel Erebus Chronus Open frequency 19:09, June 16, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Tommy
  • The intro needs to be a lot larger than one sentence for an article of this size.
  • I think a proofread may be beneficial. Why is "Information" capitalised, link for the Legends version, etc.
    • Ah the BTS section escaped my proofread. I check the rest of the article as well and moved some things around in the characteristics section to have it read better.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:58, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there any more stuff for Roles? For the Secutor, there was a fair bit of stuff about how the ship was used in battle, which we still need to use if it's not obviously game mechanics. Tommy-Macaroni 16:39, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately the section for the ship in the book covers only one page, half of which is dedicated for its statistics. There isn't anything more I can use that doesn't include suggestions for in-game encounters--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:58, May 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • BTS can be paragraphed. Some of those sentences are also run-ons.
  • Wasn't the Assertor designed by Ansel Hsiao for TEGTW? If so, please look to the Secutor for the best way to incorporate this info. Tommy-Macaroni 11:58, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. Let me know if this is good or if further tweaks and changes are needed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:14, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
      • I think the order for the BTS is now a little odd. I think you need to mention Hsiao designed it much earlier (this will likely need an additional ref like on Secutor), then say how it was used in EGTW, then say that although the book only mentions the class once by name (I think, you'll need to check), some of Hsiao's specifications were approved by Lucasfilm. Tommy-Macaroni 20:43, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • You'll also need either an {{Otheruses}} or {{Youmay}} for Assertor. Tommy-Macaroni 12:02, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "in the 2020 supplement Starships and Speeders" - supplement to what? I'd like to see Star Wars Roleplaying Game (Fantasy Flight Games) linked, and I also think "sourcebook" is a better descriptor for the source.
  • I think the last BTS paragraph should be inserted after the first BTS sentence, followed by a line break. That way the first paragraph deals with canon material, and the second deals with Legends. That should also make the two paragraphs more equal in length.
  • The correct phasing we're trying to use is "the Star Wars Legends continuity".
  • "Although it was only mentioned in the book" - Was the Assertor mentioned only by name in EGTW, or was there an accompanying image? If it's the former, I'd say something like "only mentioned by name."
  • I think we can get some additional context for the Assertor design being approved by Lucasfilm. Secutor has it as "Fry stated in his Tumblr endnotes that the name and some of Hsiao's specifications had been approved by Lucasfilm." I think that wording is pretty good, and if the Endnotes say so, I think it'd be good to be more specific on these specifications, such as if there was an image also canonised? Tommy-Macaroni 14:56, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
Ben
  • Starships and Speeders is not even mentioned in the BTS. Is there a reason for that? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:25, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think it would be good to list the authors of Starships and Speeders in the BTS as well, even if there's half a dozen of them. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:57, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorry to interject here, but per precedent (Oppressor), listing the authors in this case is superfluous. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:16, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • Seeing as there's an image of the ship from Starships and Speeders, shouldn't the "First mentioned" tag be changed to "First appearance?" RattsT (talk) 07:22, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • From my understanding it's "first mentioned" when it comes from a source despite there being an image.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:13, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah, alright then. RattsT (talk) 16:36, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Personally, I find adding the Legends version of the ship in {{Otheruses}} unnecessary since Canon/Legends tabs exist for that reason.
  • I don't think "the Assertor" is really an alternate for the ship. It's just a shortened version like the Venator, or the Falcon.
  • I think it's safe to say the Star Destroyers that accompany the Assertor in the image are Imperial II-class.
  • Per precedent, {{RPGseed}} is only used for events that are affected by player's choice, and as far as I can see, the bit about the rebel captive is not affected by player's choice at all. If that's the case, the template should be removed.
  • I know this probably sounds dumb, but I don't think Steve Hamilton actually mentions his real name anywhere in his DeviantArt account. Because of that, I think it'd be nice to have another source that proves "Balance-Sheet" is indeed Hamilton's nickname. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:13, June 12, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified henchman (the Cauldron)

  • Nominated by: CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 23:23, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First status article. Was going for CA, but I've exceeded the word count.

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. ACvote Great work, looking forward to future nominations from you! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:38, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Nice work Fan26 (Talk) 14:41, June 17, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:43, June 17, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Fan
  • That image belong somewhere else in the body, not in the BtS, as it relates to in-universe information, not OOU information.
  • A 'Sources' section, with the Starwars.com cast list page included and marked with {{1stID}}, should be added. Fan26 (Talk) 01:08, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Episode air date required, with the appropriate source.
  • "22 BBY–21 BBY" is unnecessary, it should be replaced with something like "at some point between 22 and 21 BBY" per precedent. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 07:16, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should expand the intro a bit. Currently it's pretty short.
    • How about now? I've also expanded the body to include Ventress proving herself a warrior and becoming Dooku's acolyte since it's related to Henchman's preparations (of the arena) and assassination. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 05:58, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • "...wherein gladiators demonstrated their prowess before the Sith Lord in search of an acolyte." This makes it seem like the gladiators were looking for an acolyte.
  • Dooku's line on Henchman's death can be added as a quote in the Biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:39, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for Clone Wars in intro and body.
    • Provided. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:53, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
      • Still missing from the intro. Only the warring parties needs to be listed for context, there is too much of it in the body right now. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:31, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Thus, the adept proved herself a capable assassin, one, Dooku remarked, Henchman would have applauded." Some formal wording here would be nice.
  • In the BTS, you should start with the character's appearance; it currently starts with the voice actor and episode air date. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:15, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • If the name of the character is a nickname, then you need to put quotations around it in the intro and state as such there. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:33, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • The character is listed as Henchman in the SW.com cast and crew article, just as Durge is listed as Durge. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 11:04, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • A {{Youmay}} template can be added for Zayne Carrick, who is also nicknamed "Henchman."
  • Files and templates need to use underscores in place of spaces (eg [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]], not [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).
  • Per the Manual of Style, HTML should be used instead of select punctuation (eg "—" instead of "—," "–" instead of "–," "…" instead of "...").
  • Unless The New Essential Chronology directly places Henchman's death in between 22 and 21 BBY, a manual reference note is needed for the infobox, explaining how the date for Henchman's death is derived.
    • Looks much better, but I believe "between 22 and 21 BBY" is a much more definite date than "by 21.66 BBY." Since the Clone Wars started in 22 BBY, and the death occurs during the Clone Wars, I think you can also source how the former death is derived. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:00, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Got it. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 18:04, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • I did some research and it looks like there's a way to place Henchman's death directly in 22 BBY. I've made some changes to the reference note, please take a look and feel free to reword it however you like. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:26, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Again, per the Manual of Style, Wookieepedia mandates standard American English spelling, grammar, punctuation, and word usage. You should use "gray" instead of "grey," for example.
  • There is no need to add links to a disambiguation page, such as Confederacy, in an in-universe section of the article.
  • I don't think the arena match taking place "early stages" of the Clone Wars can directly be sourced to the episode itself. It should be explained in a reference note similar to my fourth objection.
  • There are two consecutive identical references in BTS. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 17:21, June 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • {{CSWECite}} needs to be implemented for citations from The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia.
  • About the sourcing of "Rattatak" and "the Cauldron" in the infobox. I assume you sourced them to The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia because the book identifies those locations by name, which are not named in the episode. For the infobox, I think you can source the locations directly to the CW episode, and leave the attributions for the names to the article body, like how Death Squadron is sourced in this Good article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:00, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • We are almost there! While I was searching for the date stuff, I've noticed that a picture of the Henchman appears in this entry from the old StarWars.com Databank. It should be added to the Sources list.
  • Also, that same entry states that Dooku's mission to Rattatak took place "shortly after the outbreak of the Clone Wars," which should be included somewhere in the article body.
  • (Reviewing note) Per the Manual of Style, grammatical articles (such as a, an, and the) must not be placed in pipelinks. I've fixed that for you, but please keep this in mind for your future nominations. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:26, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Oh, you can also briefly mention that the Henchman spoke a non-Basic language with Dooku in the Personality and traits section. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:31, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) If the source of the quote provides subtitles, we should go with the punctuations from the subtitle. While I was getting audio clips for the quotes, I've made a minor change to one of the quotes since the em dash was not present in my DVD version, but feel free to change it if you have another official subtitle that uses the em dash.
    • Oops, my bad. I don't have a copy of the subtitles with me so I must have added the dash myself. Thanks for the audio clips! - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 21:05, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • One last thing, now looking at the article, I think there may be enough room for one more image. Could you please add another image that you choose and see how that'd look? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:44, June 14, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Per the Layout Guide, image caption punctuation (i.e., a full stop, or period) is determined by whether the caption uses a complete sentence. Example: "Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight" does not receive a full stop, whereas "Luke Skywalker was a Jedi Knight." does. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:38, June 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • After reconsidering and discussing it with others on IRC, I think you should re-add the {{Nickname}} template since "Henchman" is clearly not his name, but only his role. And instead of putting quotation marks around the name, you can simply refer to him as "a henchman" for introduction, and as "the henchman" for later mentions in the article, without capitalizing "henchman." TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 18:16, June 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Makes sense. I've reworded some parts of the article as I went through it. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:54, June 17, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • For starters, I would recommend moving this article to "Unidentified henchman." The term "Henchman" from the credits is just a general, unspecific title, not meant to be a formal thing. We wouldn't name an article just "ARC trooper" or "Aide," for example. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:53, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • I see. I have moved the article and edited it accordingly. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 10:15, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • It doesn't appear that "the" in the parenthetical descriptor needs to be capitalized. Just "(the Cauldron)" should do. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:58, July 5, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Won't make an objection out of this, but audio files would be useful for readers who wish to know what the character sounds like. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:16, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
    • Noted. Unfortunately, I can't add them since I don't have the DVDs. - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 20:53, May 23, 2020 (UTC)
      • Try to find someone who has access to the show. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 12:31, May 24, 2020 (UTC)


Drolen Antig

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 09:45, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Smuggled a shipment of glitterstim through customs at Phindar Spaceport by hiding it up his backside, apparently

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

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Support

Object

Shayanomer
  • The intro is way too short for three paragraphs in the biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:40, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
  • Do the sources state that he smuggled goods on those smuggling routes? If so, then the info on both of those can be combined better in the biography. Otherwise, split them into two sentences.
  • In the first paragraph, is there a reason to use two separate Sources to cite the info about Pirik after citing "Outer Rim"?
    • Yes. Only Corint City is mentioned in Antig's profile; where it is, namely Pirik, is from another source. OtterSurf (talk) 10:19, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • Then you will need to include a note stating that the source identifies the planet that the city is on as Pirik. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:51, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • You need to elaborate on the "technology" when it's first mentioned in the second paragraph instead of the third paragraph, as you call it a "valuable resource," which isn't explained very well there.
  • "The criminals needed a transport, and so Antig offered his own ship, the Trustworthy, for the job." Please restructure this sentence to improve its flow.
  • His work with the Advosze thieves should be mentioned before the heist, as all information needs to be in chronological order.
  • "The heist was a success, but Antig and his crew killed the Advosze..." This is the first and only time you mention any sort of "crew" in the biography separate from the Advosze.
  • "New Republic forces were quick to act, attempting to locate Antig, who had been spotted in the Ethav Regions after the heist, and resolving to retrieve the stolen components before Kuat Drive Yards could use the technology in designs for the Empire." Please restructure this to reduce it's run-on nature.
  • "He was not entirely trusted by his crew of thirty fellow lowlifes and criminals, and had stolen his trousers from a Corellian." This information should be in the biography, especially the composition of his crew. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 13:47, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. This fixed the objection above as well. OtterSurf (talk) 10:35, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • The trousers can be added to Equipment.
  • "He ran with a crew of thirty lowlifes and criminals, none of whom entirely trusted the Nalroni, and had stolen his trousers from a Corellian." This sounds like the crew stole his trousers. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:51, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I read that back and it read poorly. I moved the trousers to Equipment per the objection above. OtterSurf (talk) 11:09, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
      • The fact that he "stole" something at one point is biographical information. Keep that info there. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 11:13, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • Added. The fact that Antig wore the trousers is mentioned in Equipment so it feels less redundant. OtterSurf (talk) 11:36, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • If he was spotted in the Ethav Regions after the heist, this should be added to the Biography.
  • His starship should be mentioned in the Equipment section.
  • Is the attribution of quotes to Pash Cracken correct? Other articles related to "Wanted by Cracken" (such as Ethav Regions or "Wanted by Cracken" itself) attribute quotes to Airen Cracken. Zed42 (talk) 21:13, May 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done, done, corrected. OtterSurf (talk) 09:00, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • As per pages such as Ethav Regions, quote attribution should include the in-universe document, and Antig's mention in the datafile should be included on the page. Zed42 (talk) 10:58, May 22, 2020 (UTC)
Spooky
  • I think the year for the Empire's defeat at Endor can be included in the intro, along with context for Endor.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:32, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • This goes for the context in the intro and the Biography - Endor is a moon; pretty well established. I really don't think 'world' is the best context descriptor for it when we can specify.spookywillowwtalk 04:04, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Endor, Relarr system, Roche asteroid field, and Corint City need context in the Biography.
  • I think the location of the Kuat Drive Yards should be established.
  • The introduction should state Antig's gender.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 10:32, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
      • The gender should always go after the species.spookywillowwtalk 04:04, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
        • Flows better the other way round if you ask me, but okay. Done. OtterSurf (talk) 08:08, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
          • It's precedent on every status article that ever was :P spookywillowwtalk 00:15, June 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the first paragraph of the Biography, "32" should be written out as "thirty-two".
  • "...in his adult life, and was known to have worked" Who knew he had worked with?
  • Similar case here, "which were believed to have been lost in a struggle with one of the Advosze he murdered" Who believed/said they were lost in such a struggle?
    • Omitted and fixed respectively. OtterSurf (talk) 10:34, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • The P&T seems to have run-on sentences overall. I also think subjective language such as "apparently", from "...apparently stole his trousers", should be removed.spookywillowwtalk 03:01, May 24, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Preliminaries:
    • Files and templates need to use underscores in place of spaces (eg [[File:Luke_Skywalker.jpg]], not [[File:Luke Skywalker.jpg]]).
    • Multiple poorly-formatted links.
    • The {{Journal}} template should be implemented for issue 11 as well.
    • Aren't those Wanted by Cracken entries sources rather than "appearances"?
    • The italicization and quotations of the real-life "Wanted by Cracken" are inconsistent in the article.
    • Publisher information missing in BTS. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:49, June 13, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Sami (Cantrosian)

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 10:41, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Meow. Again.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 2 AC votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Shayanomer
  • The character's attire can be detailed in an Equipment section. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 13:38, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added! I've not bothered with a Skills section because we never see Sami doing much of anything unless "talking" counts. OtterSurf (talk) 15:37, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • There appears to be room for sectioning in the Biography. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:44, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • You've created a note for his species in the infobox, but this isn't used in the body. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:46, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Both done. OtterSurf (talk) 17:42, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Sectioning still needs more work. All info should be under appropriate headers when sectioning paragraphs. In this case, there will be 2 paragraphs per heading. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 17:47, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 17:59, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
          • Great. Is there another image you can add to supplement the second section? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:27, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you upload a new version of the infobox image with the speech bubble cropped out? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:30, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'd rather leave that in since it establishes his character. OtterSurf (talk) 18:42, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • I brought this up on IRC, and the users over there agree that the speech bubble looks distracting for the reader. If this quote is important to the character, then it should be included in the article somewhere, preferably in Personality. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:48, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Decided to go back to formula for the main image. The other one had odd proportions anyway. OtterSurf (talk) 19:03, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
          • Can you crop out the black bits at the top of the image? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:06, June 13, 2020 (UTC)
            • Damn, thought I'd got it all. Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 19:15, June 13, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Confederacy of Corporate Systems

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Well done on your first GAN! Ben sc01t (Hello there) 15:19, June 24, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Great work! - - -CIS roundel OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 16:28, June 24, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ratts
  • The first history paragraph is dominated by a large run-on sentence. You need to break it up so that it's easier for the reader to follow.
  • Mothma should be introduced in the paragraph before mentioning her arm and hand. RattsT (talk) 02:55, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. Would you like me to go more in depth on her meeting with the senators? CIS roundel Erebus Chronus Open frequency 03:51, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
      • Does the meeting have anything to do with the Confederacy? If not, then it's not necessary. RattsT (talk) 03:59, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
        • The meeting has to do with redistributing resources from the Empire. CIS roundel Erebus Chronus Open frequency 04:19, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
          • Then yeah, no need to go into it. RattsT (talk) 04:38, June 21, 2020 (UTC)
Braha'tok enthusiast
OOM

Comments

The Wooden Wookiee

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:08, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 20:00, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:59, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Braha'tok enthusiast
  • Could you mention that Lunacca solely ran the shop, seeing as there's no staff according to the infobox? "as he did not have locals help with customer service during his absence" is close to that but that feels like it's more to do with finding part-time workers for his departure. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 12:11, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • Unsourced infobox information: Owner. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:12, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Oh shoot, was redoing the references and forgot to replace that one. Done. MasterCommerce GuildFredcerique 18:03, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you substitute the SWE reference with something more concrete, like the Databank? This is based on a comment here. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 18:51, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • The second part of the sentence feels like it's missing a word. When not working the shop, Lunacca had The Wooden Wookiee closed, as he worked alone did not have locals help with customer service during his absence. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:12, June 30, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • Can the sentence in the Description beginning with "Lunacca sold his carvings" be rephrased/split up? It's a little difficult to parse. RattsT (talk) 23:20, July 2, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • I must inform you that "The Wooden Wookiee" is somehow categorized in Citation templates. As I have no idea how the problem even occurred, I don't want to mess up the page trying to find its source. SilverSunbird (talk) 18:48, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • This was due to the {{GEStaff}} template. It's fixed now. Zed42 (talk) 18:52, July 1, 2020 (UTC)


Coovern

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. RattsT (talk) 02:04, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 16:08, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Erebus
  • Pipelink the second inclusion of "Empire" in both the introductory and the main body paragraph to Politics as it is a form of government. CIS roundel Erebus Chronus Open frequency 18:34, June 27, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • {{Circa}} should be used in the infobox.
    • c. has already been implemented by the reviewers for Puke and Kkkt. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 23:19, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • I see. This was in response to Shay's objection here. Not sure what to make of it then, unless the ECs and ACs go about this differently. RattsT (talk) 23:48, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is the last sentence of the intro really necessary? It reads a little clunky. RattsT (talk) 22:55, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • I guess it's not the most telling of Coovern for an intro, removed. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 23:19, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • You should provide the real reason for Coovern's death before the "official" reason, in order to keep it in chronological order. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:11, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Jerni

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

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Support

  1. ACvote Tommy-Macaroni 15:41, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:34, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  3. RattsT (talk) 07:25, July 4, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ratts
  • Eye color is missing from the infobox.
    • We don't really know what their eye color is. It's not necessarily black. It could be blue, for example, and is just showing up dark in the shadows of that scene. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:13, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • Fair point. RattsT (talk) 00:29, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to add one more image to the page, provided the notice about Vader's tapes is included? RattsT (talk) 00:08, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure where you're looking to add an image. There's only room in the History for one if the page is still going to look good aesthetically. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:13, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • I was thinking that this image could go either before the last History paragraph or the BTS. If the ruins image is made slightly smaller, I don't believe it harms the aesthetics. RattsT (talk) 00:29, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
        • When an article only has one paragraph worth of buffer between two images, that's a good indication that there are too many. The History section just isn't big enough to support two images and still look good. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:11, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
          • Ok, I'll defer to your judgement here. RattsT (talk) 04:05, July 3, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Amuncie Tidian

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:00, June 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I would much rather have a quote than a lone sound file, but I have no clue how you would even begin to spell out the noises that this guys makes.

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Support

  1. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:38, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Time to get a new laptop, I guess. RattsT (talk) 09:34, July 4, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ratts
  • You should make the BTS image slightly smaller so the Appearances section isn't bunched up like that. RattsT (talk) 07:35, July 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • The BTS image looks fine to me and fits perfectly within the section. What are you using to view it? Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:04, July 4, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'm using the default view. My issue's not with the image, but with what it does to the Appearances heading. I can send you a screenshot on Discord to show you. RattsT (talk) 09:17, July 4, 2020 (UTC)
        • Issue sorted, technical difficulties. RattsT (talk) 09:34, July 4, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Ben
  • Unsure whether this counts as an applicable objection so I'll put it here. Regarding the image positioning: I think it would be better to position the image of Tidian in the spotlight to the right and starting at the second bio paragraph for aesthetic purposes, with the BtS image swapping positions. Thoughts? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 14:23, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • I think it would be better to use this tweet to cite the actor. It has all of Nick's roles, therefore it can be repurposed for other pages. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 10:42, July 8, 2020 (UTC)


Felinx

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

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Support

Object

TK
  • I have a couple of issues with the intro:
    • First of all, it's oddly split. I understand how you'd want to put it chronologically, but right now you have a sentence about Quell, two sentences about BTC, followed by a sentence about Quell again. You could probably split this into two more detailed paragraphs, starting with BTC and felinx description and moving on to Quell.
      • I don't think this would be applicable, the intro is almost half the size of the history and splitting it would make two rather thin paragraphs that aren't squashed by an infobox. As for continuity, I'm pretty sure you're meant to keep it chronological. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:38, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Works for me, you have the source material but I thought I'd check. TK-462 (talk) 19:24, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Regarding the final intro sentence: "Around 5 ABY, Quell told the IT-O Interrogation Unit IT-O about her felinx and how the pet had died." Do you have any details to this, maybe why she was in that situation, why she mentioned it, and a bit of specificity when it comes to the death? I know most of that is covered in other areas, but due to the way the intro is written right now, it seems a little random, it would be better if it was connected a little better to the rest of the introduction.
    • Could you try to clean up the first sentence in a way that doesn't make it sound like felinx ownership is only limited to the Imperial area? Maybe something about them being known to be owned in the Imperial era.
      • How does that look? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:38, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Other than trying to getting it to flow into the next intro sentence, looks solid. TK-462 (talk) 19:24, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • You could use some sectioning in the biography, the timeline definitely allows that. This would also allow for a quote between Quell and IT-O.
    • There's two 6-line paragraphs and a 4-line paragraph, splitting that into sub-sections would be unwise in my opinion. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:38, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • Assuming there's no more information to add, that's fine by me. TK-462 (talk) 19:24, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Finally, I don't think that the nature of this article really calls for a MAJOR spoiler warning. TK-462 (talk) 00:34, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • "while the pair were stranded on a planetoid in the Cerberon system.," which I've added for one of the above sentences, is a plot spoiler. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:38, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don't have the source material, so I trust your judgment here. TK-462 (talk) 19:24, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
Fan
  • Species is linked to twice in the first paragraph of the "History" section.
  • "which Quell refused to attend" Putting the cat down isn't really an event that can be described as being "attended" IMO. I'd say it's fine to say she didn't go to it here, without outright copying the quote. Fan26 (Talk) 13:33, July 8, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Needan

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:11, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Fan26 (Talk) 18:26, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

NCW-781

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:18, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 21:26, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Magé

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

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Support

  1. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 16:06, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Object

  • Avoid the repetition of "better known as" in the first paragraph.
  • Does the story refer to the Thunderstrike as a CR90?
  • Does the story also specify who the character was speaking to over the comlink?
    • "The comlink she had been shouting into slid from her now-limp hand." Ben sc01t (Hello there) 09:55, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please revise the second paragraph. There are too many sentences that can be reworded to flow better (For example, "Howl had Brand push Magé out of her chair before he looted her desk of the governor's Nabooian whiskey." This sounds like it was Brand's desk rather than the governor's). Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:39, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Howl, although, was already aware of this fact, and gradually dissuaded Brand from collecting the bounty" "Gradually" implies this took place over a long period of time. Is this the case, or did it happen at that moment?
    • The whole story, besides the moments with Magé and the flashbacks, is the conversation. Unsure how long it takes in terms of IU time, though, so I've removed gradually. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:35, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "...jutting at her unconscious body while she snorted." Did you mean to say "snored"? Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 11:19, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Story says snorted but it implies snoring anyways. Changed. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 11:35, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • "When identifying the Thunderstrike, she was able to deduce that Twilight Company was present at the planet." I feel this information isn't really necessary for the P&T. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 14:03, July 6, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Kep-She

  • Nominated by: Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:54, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

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Support

Object

Braha'tok enthusiast
  • Does the second part of the intro need to go into so much detail when it's more about Trench, Yularen and Skywalker? It would be better to simplify it, for example saying that Trench battled Skywalker's forces multiple times until he was killed in the Battle of Anaxes.
  • Following on from above, the legacy could do with some trimming too to avoid going into too much detail on actions between solely Trench, Yularen and Skywalker. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 21:44, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
Ratts
  • Per the Manual of Style, "Do not use the plural pronouns "they," "them," or "their" to refer to individuals of unspecified gender."
    • Done. I've used Kep-She in place of pronouns. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Where is it stated that the Corporate Alliance participated in the battle?
    • I've looked at relevant pages and actually can't seem to find a decent source beyond Yularen's line about a "corporate fleet". I don't think that's enough so I've removed all mention of the Alliance. The mentions do still appear on other articles however. Thanks for the spot. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Kep-She led a second taskforce to the planet…" this is not stated in the episode nor its guide. To my knowledge no source states Malastare Narrows is a planet or even on Malastare.
    • Fixed the second taskforce bit, confusion on my end. As for the Malastare part: in Yularen's explanation of the battle in the episode, he begins with the overview of "A corporate fleet was blockading Malastare." In the article, I've made sure to address the battle as having taken place over the planet, not on it. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Whoops, missed Yularen's line. I still don't think you should say Kep-She led a force "to the planet," as that could imply fighting took place on the ground, which we don't know. RattsT (talk) 21:13, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • 22 BBY and 19 BBY cannot be sourced to the Clone Wars episodes, you'll need to provide a date note.
    • Done. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, since Galactic Atlas dates the Battle of Christophsis to 22 BBY, you can just cite the book instead of having the note. The 19 BBY note should remain though. RattsT (talk) 21:13, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Most of the legacy has little to actually do with Kep-She.
  • The UK air date should be sourced using {{Cite web}}.
    • The source for the UK air date appears to be dead. I can't find a decent source, so I've removed the information and instead only listed the US air date. The UK source was acquired from the Cat and Mouse page but I must've forgotten to check it recently. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should specify that the episode aired first in the UK and then later in the US, the date of which can be sourced to its original episode guide.
    • Done. See above for UK. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Going off of the previous note, Kep-She was first named in that guide, which should be noted and included in Sources with a {{1stID}} tag. RattsT (talk) 06:15, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
Shayanomer
  • In relation to Ben's objection, I think it's better if you briefly mention Trench's death at Anaxes and the year it took place. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 15:54, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro is way too detailed, please trim the extraneous information. It should mostly cover Kep-She, with only a brief mention of what happened afterwards.
    • Done. Should I include a mention of Trench's defeat or is it unnecessary? --Eddiebox28 (talk) 17:58, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • No need. What you have right now looks fine. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:36, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • With only two paragraphs in the biography, there's isn't room for sub-sectioning.
  • Similarly, removing the sub-sections would only leave space for one image.
    • Also done. --Eddiebox28 (talk) 17:58, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
      • Can you also resize the image and modify the caption so that it's from Kep-She's perspective? It looks really small currently. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:36, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please change all instances of "taskforce" to "task force," which is what's used in the episode.
  • There is some underlinking throughout the intro and body (e.g. fleet, death). Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 16:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Kep-She's task force and Trench's fleet can both have articles of their own.
  • Can you combine the first two sentences? It's unnecessary to say a character "lived" during an era. You can just say the individual joined the Order and became a Master before the war.
  • Saying Kep-She attained the rank of Master in "Powers and abilities" looks out of place. Also the episode guide doesn't really mention anything about competency. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 19:36, July 7, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

  • Welcome to the GAN, Eddiebox28. Shayanomer Din Djarin's clan (talk) 09:53, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thanks! Looking forward to getting a feel for the process! --Eddiebox28 (talk) 14:22, July 7, 2020 (UTC)


Senator Jar Jar Binks commemorative drinking cup

  • Nominated by: RattsT (talk) 05:35, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First Legends nom had to be an important one. Drink up, folks.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 AC vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. Ben sc01t (Hello there) 06:22, July 9, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Burn it, burn it now
  • Would it be possible to briefly mention the interaction between the cup and Fett in the History's quote in the text? Ben sc01t (Hello there) 07:46, July 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Mentioned. RattsT (talk) 22:29, July 8, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

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