Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of T'olan

Battle of T'olan

• Nominated by: NaruHina ^Talk 18:41, July 11, 2019 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: 8 years later, turns out there was more to say.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Object

QGJ

• References are not allowed in the intro.
  • TFW out of practice, haha. Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• The fact that Obi-Wan was aware of the battle should be mentioned somewhere.
  • Added. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Refs 2 and 7 need to be fully linked.
  • Done. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Early in the war, perhaps within the first year or 21 BBY, This is speculative wording and should be reworded.
  • Removed the date reference there because of the revision to only c. 22 BBY. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Ref 2: Relatively brief timespan relative to what? I would argue that three years of war is quite a lot of time. because of the war's relatively brief timespan
  • Removed. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Honestly, following on the two above objections, I would just change the timeline placement of this battle to "around 22 BBY"
  • Done. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Can any timeframe be provided for when she left? A woman left her homeworld of Bellassa to join the Republic Military
  • No. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• If the books state outright that she served in the Grand Army of the Republic, then this needs to be mentioned in the article accordingly.
  • I disagree here. Given other sources treatment of the Grand Army as exclusively clone troopers, it was a mistake and the BTS note should be sufficient. I was obviously being conservative by linking out only to the Essential Guide to Warfare, but I could probably go out and find others. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Related to the above objection. The explanation regarding the GAR in the Bts should cut down on speculation. Only the first two sentences are based on verifiable info, the rest is just speculation and should be cut. In The Desperate Mission, Trever Flume said that his mother fought in the Grand Army of the Republic. The Essential Guide to Warfare stated that only clone troopers served in the Grand Army. This did not mean that there were no non-clone forces fighting for the Republic, however. It's possible she was parts of different branches of the Republic Military, such as the Planetary Security Forces or the Judicials.
  • I removed the glaring double-negative, but I want to push back here on similar grounds to the above mention of the Grand Army. It was a mistake. It is not speculative to say that the Republic had separate non-clone forces, and it is not speculative to provide the reader with examples of such forces while talking about this unusual distinction. I have removed the "It's possible she was..." because I agree that toed the line, but I think the general examples of non-clone forces should stay. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• When did this occur? Can this be dated to 19 BBY as well and based on what evidence? On Bellassa, an Imperial bombing killed Trever Flume's father and brother
  • It can't, definitively. Putting it in proximity to 19 BBY should be sufficient because The Desperate Mission takes place in 18 BBY and that bombing was months earlier. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
    • Actually, I thought of a better way to slip 18 BBY in there. How's that? NaruHina ^Talk 17:47, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• If the lead quote is the only mention of T'olan in the book, then there is not enough info to identify it as a planet. Are there other mentions that can be used as a basis for this identification? If not, then T'olan should be treated as a general nondescript location.
  • The Wuun system is called the T'olan system in The Essential Atlas Online Companion's list of systems (and, allegedly, the book proper though I couldn't find it). IIRC that has been interpreted in the past as there being a planet with that name at that place, right? Would that be sufficient? NaruHina ^Talk 18:58, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• These two sentences need to be combined/reworded. They are way too simplistic. The battle was bloody. Trever Flume's mother died there.
  • Fixed by slipping the Obi-Wan Kenobi mention in there. NaruHina ^Talk 18:03, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Aftermath: Just calling Ferus Olin by name here would be better. he became deeply nervous when someone he cared about promised to return from danger without allowing him to come
  • The passage where he describes his feelings is more general than Ferus. I meant "someone" in the general sense. Perhaps "anyone" would be better? For reference, this is the passage: Ferus's expression clearly said not this again. But Trever didn't care. He wasn't going to be left behind. He'd been left behind before. By his mother, by his father, by his brother. Each time, they'd said It's too dangerous. You'll be safe here. NaruHina ^Talk 17:47, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Bts: Everything should be sourced.
  • Everything in there has the source in the sentence. Honest question: is leaving such things without redundant references not allowed anymore? NaruHina ^Talk 17:47, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
    • WP:S#Rule 5. Hi, Naru. Imperators II^(Talk) 17:50, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
      • Ahoy, matey! Added the refs. NaruHina ^Talk 18:14, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• Bts: Release dates are needed for all the books mentioned here.
  • Done. NaruHina ^Talk 18:14, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
• I don't see how the passage in "Ghosts of the Sith" can be interpreted as an indirect mention of this individual. If we know that she died early in the Clone Wars, there's no way that "Imperials" could have killed her, since the Empire did not exist at the time yet. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 11:56, July 12, 2019 (UTC)
  • I (mostly) agree and included it out of an abundance of caution. Removed. NaruHina ^Talk 17:30, July 12, 2019 (UTC)

Anil

• If T'olan is located in the Mid Rim, Category:Battles in the Mid Rim should be added to the article.
  • Added. NaruHina ^Talk 04:33, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
    • I think I'd like to see the Mid Rim bit mentioned in the article too, rather than having it mentioned only in the categories. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:46, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
• Per the Layout Guide, when listing multiple items in a single infobox field, including cascading items, you should use bullets to offset each item, including the first item listed.
  • Added. NaruHina ^Talk 04:36, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
• "The New Essential Chronology states that the Clone Wars lasted from 22 BBY to 19 BBY. The Battle of T'olan was placed as 'early in the wars' by The Last of the Jedi: The Desperate Mission, which has been interpreted in this article as sometime within the first year." I think this is a pure speculation here. The battle may have taken place in 21 BBY, and still early in the war.
  • I initially had it as "sometime within 22 or 21 BBY," but changed it to 22 BBY due to QuiGonJinn's objection. The important thing is that its timeframe is connected to the start of the war, so c. 22 BBY should be fine. NaruHina ^Talk 04:28, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
• You don't need to link Trever Flume's mother twice in the infobox.
  • Fixed. NaruHina ^Talk 04:33, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
• "The death of Trever Flume's mother in the battle was referenced at various points in the series and in his The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia (2008) entry." I don't think this sentence in BTS is necessary at all. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 03:26, July 14, 2019 (UTC)
  • Removed. NaruHina ^Talk 04:33, July 14, 2019 (UTC)