- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Fyg Boras[]
- Nominated by: ToRsO bOy 10:54, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: A fig for corrupt senators!
(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)[]
Support[]
- Kilson 04:53, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Assuming Menkooroo's objections are met. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:14, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
- Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 20:00, April 19, 2011 (UTC)
- Gave it a look, compared it with objections, including Menk's, which near as I can tell were met, I support it. Trak Nar Ramble on 03:09, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
- Hooray! Menkooroo 06:07, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 15:27, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
Object[]
The PIE Menace[]
You need to mention earlier in the Bio section that Vortex was captured during the war.- I think this is fine where it is, since mentioning in the first paragraph that Vortex was captured seems forced. It doesn't do anything for the flow, and it serves as the explanation why Boras decided to sell the supplies instead. But if you have an idea how to work around this, I'm open to it. :)
- I worked the Battle of Vortex into the first paragraph of the bio. If you don't like it, feel free to revert my last edit. However, if you want to keep it, you need to put a sentence similar to that in the intro.
- It looks good. Added the part on the intro. Cool of you to add the Essential Atlas bit. ToRsO bOy 04:35, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
- No problem, always happy to help.
- It looks good. Added the part on the intro. Cool of you to add the Essential Atlas bit. ToRsO bOy 04:35, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
- I worked the Battle of Vortex into the first paragraph of the bio. If you don't like it, feel free to revert my last edit. However, if you want to keep it, you need to put a sentence similar to that in the intro.
- I think this is fine where it is, since mentioning in the first paragraph that Vortex was captured seems forced. It doesn't do anything for the flow, and it serves as the explanation why Boras decided to sell the supplies instead. But if you have an idea how to work around this, I'm open to it. :)
Also you should probably work the above objection into the Intro as well.- Added mention.
Does the novel ever actually state that Boras was from Vortex? I was quickly glancing through the novel and couldn't find definitive evidence of this. Just because he represents Vortex doesn't mean he's from the planet.- It did. It states "the Senator from Vortex"
To tie up the article, you should mention at the end that Omas was soon elected Chief of State, or something along those lines.- Added.
In the Bts you state, "To date, Destiny's Way is Boras's only appearance in Star Wars canon." However, the article also says that he appeared in the CSWE. If he does have an entry, you need to change this sentence.- Added.
Also, if he does have a CSWE entry, please use {{CSWECite}} for the source item.- Added
- That's all I have, nice job. Kilson 21:34, March 31, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks. ToRsO bOy 03:50, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
Sorry, one more objection, in the intro, "But with the knowledge that he wouldn't be returned to the Senate while his homeworld is under Yuuzhan Vong occupation..." You need to rework this sentence to make it read better.Kilson 00:07, April 4, 2011 (UTC)- Reworded. ToRsO bOy 04:35, April 4, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa[]
This sentence kind of has some punctuation/dangling modifier issues the way it's worded. Can we try and tweak this to clarify it a bit? "Boras agreed to the request and working with the other similarly bribed senators, the amendment was approved in a rapid manner."- Tweaked. Let me know if it works. ToRsO bOy 22:56, April 17, 2011 (UTC)
- Perfect. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:14, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
- Tweaked. Let me know if it works. ToRsO bOy 22:56, April 17, 2011 (UTC)
Does the source literally use the wording that he was known to do this, or does he just do this in the novel? If it's the latter, it would be best to reword this sentence to simply say "Boras favored a type of cologne...": "Boras was known to favor a type of cologne with a discreet mint scent."Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:10, April 15, 2011 (UTC)- Changed. ToRsO bOy 22:56, April 17, 2011 (UTC)
Fyg Boras[]
Bio places the Fall of Coruscant at 28 ABY, when 27 ABY is the correct date.- Ooops. ToRsO bOy 21:41, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
- It remained in the bio, but it was an easy enough sofixit so I changed it. However, the bio now makes no mention of 28 ABY, which is when most of the stuff in the bio takes place --- can you stick in a mention of 28 ABY being when the dealings with Calrissian and Karrde happen? Menkooroo 03:08, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
- Added the mention.ToRsO bOy 05:39, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
- It remained in the bio, but it was an easy enough sofixit so I changed it. However, the bio now makes no mention of 28 ABY, which is when most of the stuff in the bio takes place --- can you stick in a mention of 28 ABY being when the dealings with Calrissian and Karrde happen? Menkooroo 03:08, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
- Ooops. ToRsO bOy 21:41, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
Is there an article for the military appropriations bill? Blame Trayus for bills being notable enough to warrant articles. :PCan you make P & t one paragraph? I really dislike one-sentence paragraphs, particularly when they fall after much larger paragraphs.- Merged. ToRsO bOy 21:41, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
- Good work! I hope you don't mind that I've added this to the recently-created WP:NJO. :D Menkooroo 14:20, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
- No prob at all. Glad I can contribute something. And thanks for the review. --ToRsO bOy 21:41, April 18, 2011 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 15:27, April 20, 2011 (UTC)