- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
OOL-2[]
- Nominated by: Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 01:10, October 3, 2012 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: What was originally meant to be my first CA nom turned out to be my second GA nom. Odd since this droid appears for five seconds in the game.
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)[]
Support[]
- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 13:42, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
- Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 21:29, October 11, 2012 (UTC)
- Keep on battlegroundin'. Menkooroo (talk) 10:07, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Winterz (talk) 21:37, November 8, 2012 (UTC)
- More GB! MasterFred(Whatever) 22:30, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Good job through the objections, Code-8. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:10, November 17, 2012 (UTC)
Object[]
501[]
The intro is a too much like the bio. I would avoid having OOL-2 being ordered here and there. Condense it down a bit.- "Some time between 39 and 36 BBY, OOL-2 was placed on the moon Alaris Prime, which the Trade Federation was trying to colonize illegally, where he found a Power core that had been damaged by the planet's Gundarks, but by the time he found it the power core had been completely demolished by Wookiees from Kashyyyk, who were making a legal colonisation effort." This sentence in the intro needs to be cut down or broken up as it is quite long. I suggest cutting it down. 501st dogma(talk) 12:07, October 6, 2012 (UTC)
- Done.--Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 02:22, October 7, 2012 (UTC)
- "Some time between 39 and 36 BBY, OOL-2 was placed on the moon Alaris Prime, which the Trade Federation was trying to colonize illegally, where he found a Power core that had been damaged by the planet's Gundarks, but by the time he found it the power core had been completely demolished by Wookiees from Kashyyyk, who were making a legal colonisation effort." This sentence in the intro needs to be cut down or broken up as it is quite long. I suggest cutting it down. 501st dogma(talk) 12:07, October 6, 2012 (UTC)
"OOL-2 arrived on the moon some time before the Wookiees had landed along with a large part of the droid army." This sounds like the Wookiees landed with the droids.The bio should focus more on OOL-2, not the Wookiees.- Good work. I'll continue my review after thse objections are fixed. 501st dogma(talk) 21:36, October 3, 2012 (UTC)
- I've dealt with all of them but I don't know how well i did with that first one.--Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 23:18, October 3, 2012 (UTC)
Context for Kashyyyk? Saying it's a planet will do.- You missed it in the bio, so I added it.
In the last sentence of the intro, you use later twice, Could you vary the wording?In the characteristics, you should mention that he is a B1 manufactrued by Baktoid.The first sentence of the second paragraph of the bio has some grammar errors. Could you fix that?Masculine programming should be mentioned in the characteristics.- Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 15:49, October 8, 2012 (UTC)
- Done all of them.Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 06:58, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
601[]
Hiya. This is pretty minor, but a tip on linking: If you mention the Trade Federation Droid Army and then later the Trade Federation, there's no need to link the first instance as [[Trade Federation/Legends|Trade Federation]] [[Trade Federation Droid Army/Legends|Droid Army]] --- to keep linking simple, you can just link [[Trade Federation Droid Army/Legends|Trade Federation Droid Army]] the first time and then link [[Trade Federation/Legends|Trade Federation]] on its second mention. I did this in the intro; can you implement the change in the bio? The intro's "Power core" linking that I changed is the same deal.- Can you indicate in the biography who it was that gave the Wookiees consent to colonize the moon?
- In "Behind the scenes" : "For unknown reasons OOL-2 doesn't receive a specific character type..." We generally try to avoid "For unknown reasons"-type statements, as they come off as sounding speculative. If you left out "For unknown reasons" and just began the sentence with "OOL-2 doesn't receive a specific character type," it would still say everything it needs to say without including any guesswork.
Ditto words like "Strangely," which are subjective. Actually, I'm wondering if that entire last sentence of "Behind the scenes" is necessary, as it's information that can already be found in "Personality and traits." Especially if you remove "strangely" (which you should! :D), then there's no real utility in repeating the info nearly verbatim.Menkooroo (talk) 08:43, October 15, 2012 (UTC)- Done all. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 09:19, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa[]
Grammatically speaking, there should be a comma in the "Yes sir" line in the introductory quote. Does the source literally present it like this?- I double-checked and that is definetely how the quote is said.
- For my own clarification, you mean that's how the game's captions present it? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- That's definetely how the captions say it. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:44, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Good deal. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:10, November 17, 2012 (UTC)
- That's definetely how the captions say it. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:44, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- For my own clarification, you mean that's how the game's captions present it? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- I double-checked and that is definetely how the quote is said.
Similarly, does the game actually capitalize "gundarks" in that quote?- Fixed
Same situation for the Biography quote. There should properly be a comma in "Destroyed by Gunarks sir."- Done
- There should be a comma there, but do the game's captions place one there? Also, do the game's captions capitalize "Gundark"? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk)
- The captions do have a comma and the capital G in gundarks was a typo. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:44, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- There should be a comma there, but do the game's captions place one there? Also, do the game's captions capitalize "Gundark"? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk)
- Done
I'm just assuming the name "First Battle of Alaris Prime" is a conjectural title for that battle, in which case we try to avoid using that as a formal title in just about all instances, which would include reference note number 3. I would suggest reformatting that reference note to present this battle name as "battle of Alaris Prime."- Adressed
Is the second sentence of the "Characteristics" section really necessary? I imagine we could find dozens of battle droids from The Clone Wars, for example, who use other terms of confirmation than "Roger, Roger." It would be one thing if some source said somewhere that "Roger, Roger" was some kind of standardized, pre-programmed response for battle droids and that OOL-2 was a noted exception from that norm, but I don't believe this is the case.- I still thought it needed mentoning, so I moved it to the Bts. Hope that works :)
- I'm still not really seeing a dire need for it, and I actually think it's more out of place in the BTS. It strikes me as just being trivia. I also question the accuracy of "Roger, Roger" being the "normal" response of a battle droid, which is what I was trying to explain in my original objection comment. It's certainly a common response, but is it their normal programmed response? That claim would need to be backed up by a source. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- I've removed the information now since none of the sources I've checked say that Roger, Roger is programmed in the battle droids. The sources i checked were battle droid entries on Star Wars.com's encyclopedia and databank and the The Official Star Wars Fact File and a clone wars sourcebook in case you wanted to know. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:44, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- I'm still not really seeing a dire need for it, and I actually think it's more out of place in the BTS. It strikes me as just being trivia. I also question the accuracy of "Roger, Roger" being the "normal" response of a battle droid, which is what I was trying to explain in my original objection comment. It's certainly a common response, but is it their normal programmed response? That claim would need to be backed up by a source. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- I still thought it needed mentoning, so I moved it to the Bts. Hope that works :)
Since the game's strategy guide is technically the first source that OOL-2 was featured in, I think it would be appropriate for the BTS to briefly mention this. Use Royal Crusader as an example to go off of.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:34, November 14, 2012 (UTC)- Whoops, don't know why I forgot that. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:21, November 15, 2012 (UTC)
- The change looks good, but since you're sourcing the BTS, which is perfectly fine, that specific part should be sourced to the game guide. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Done. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 21:44, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- The change looks good, but since you're sourcing the BTS, which is perfectly fine, that specific part should be sourced to the game guide. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:41, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
- Whoops, don't know why I forgot that. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:21, November 15, 2012 (UTC)
Fred strikes[]
One thing: the last sentence of the bio makes it sound like the Federation was booted before they exterminated the gundarks. MasterFred(Whatever) 22:03, November 16, 2012 (UTC)- Done. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 22:19, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 17:10, November 17, 2012 (UTC)