Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Skirmish in the Kinoss system

Skirmish in the Kinoss system

• Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (talk) 20:37, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: I believe this is clean and good enough :)
• WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 AC vote required to pass.)

Support

1. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:13, 24 October 2021 (UTC)

Object

Fan

• Continuing from our discussion on Discord:
  • The infobox still notes the skirimish as taking place in both the Lioaoin and Kinoss systems. Given our discussion, I'd argue the actual skirmish proper only takes place in Kinoss.
    • Addressed. — YakovChaimTzvi (talk) 22:05, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
  • "Prior to the mission and skirmish, " in the "Prelude" section.
    • Addressed. — YakovChaimTzvi (talk) 22:05, 4 September 2021 (UTC)
  • A large part of the article body is taken up by a section detailing the mission to Lioaoin, of which a small subsection titled "The skirmish" is a part of. I think most of the info regarding Thrawn baiting the Lioaoins can be condensed a bit and moved to the prelude section. Fan26 (Talk) 23:58, 3 September 2021 (UTC)
    • I adjusted the sectioning and added a quote for the Skirmish. I’ll have to think about it if you think “the mission” part still needs to be condensed. — YakovChaimTzvi (talk) 22:37, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
      • "Qilori knew that the Lioaoin Regime was indeed supporting piracy, but was bound by Navigators' Guild confidentiality not to divulge such information to Thrawn. Furthermore, Qilori could sense some of his colleagues aboard Lioaoin pirate vessels through the Force. Qilori warned Thrawn that searching for pirates would be dangerous, and if the Regime should suspect he was hunting pirates, they would be in danger." This can be cut down to contextualising Quilori's warning by just saying he was worried about his colleagues aboard the Lioaoin ships. Apart from that, it all looks like neccesarry information Fan26 (Talk) 04:12, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Addressed. -- YakovChaimTzvi (talk) 17:03, 17 September 2021 (UTC)

Manoof

• Can we note in the intro that the skirmish occurred after the undercover work from Thrawn? Currently the setup for the battle doesn't have that context that it IS the prelude to the skirmish, which indicates it is part of the skirmish until we reach the second paragraph. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:18, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:03, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
• The mission—can you make it clear the pirates pursued Thrawn using the pathfinders at the end of this section. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:18, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:03, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
• You probably have room for another image in the Aftermath section. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:18, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
  • Added one. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:50, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
• Did the book specify Kinoss the planet and the system and are these captured correctly in the article—the only mention of the planet is the agreed upon meeting place, so did the skirmish happen above the planet or elsewhere in the system? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:18, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
  • In the chapter itself, it just says the Kinoss system. Another chapter says “At Kinoss a few years ago,” and another says and “last year off Kinoss.” — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:08, 23 October 2021 (UTC)

CC-8

• Context for Bardram Scoft
  • Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:07, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
• Should come up with a subheading for the first half of the prelude
  • Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:07, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
• "In that way, Thrawn could prove or disprove his theory without violating the Ascendancy's preemptive-strike laws", this sentence mostly repeats what's said in the one preceeding it, be good if you could combine them. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 09:44, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
  • Done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:07, 3 November 2021 (UTC)
• The body should specifiy that corsairs are a type of ship, given that the word has a potentially confusing alternate meaning.
  • Better? — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
• I don't think Kinoss should be linked separately in the phrase "Kinoss system"
  • Done — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
• "the point at which she would have to forego her Irizi family." The significance of this isn't really clear, why does getting a promotion change her family situation, and the way its worded sounds like the Irizi is just some type of family rather than her actual family.
  • It is her actual family — it’s a major part of Chiss culture to strip family ties of flag officers. Additional context is provided in the article flag officer and others, but no more context was given during the skirmish’s actual aftermath. YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
    • That context should still be given here, a reader should open another article because they want to learn more, not be forced to do so just to comprehend something in this article.
      • Alright, done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:48, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
        • Apologies for the delay, last thing to sort out with "belong to her Irizi family." the phrasing presents Irizi as an adjective, so it could be read as a type of family, when a family name is actually a noun, can address this by writing it as "her family, the Irizi," or just "the Irizi family." But I don't have access to the novel so I may be misunderstanding how it's referred to there. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 10:49, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
          • "The Irizi family" works. I made the change. Thanks! — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 18:33, 26 November 2021 (UTC)
• "threat to others in the Chaos" Apparently this is an alternate term for the Unknown Regions but it would be clearer to just say Unknown Regions instead.
  • I changed it. Just noting that “the Chaos” is the endonym and what’s used in the source. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
• There's a contraction in the aftermath section, which shouldn't be used in encyclopedic writing
  • Done YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
• The Bts is overly detailed, we don't need to specify which chapters the events appear in.
  • Is that an actual problem? I can reduce it, but I don’t see an issue at present. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
    • It's worth removing it to maintain the consistency of our other status articles based on novels Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 04:14, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
      • Okay, done. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:48, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
        • Can still remove the sentence about the chapter.
          • Done -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:30, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
            • I meant that the chapter doesn't need to be mentioned at all Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 02:02, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
              • You can remove it if you insist. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:18, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
• The date note is a little confusing since the skirmish also takes place in the same book, it would be helpful to specify that its just the main events that take place in 19 BBY. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 00:05, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
  • done, thanks. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:25, 5 November 2021 (UTC)
    • 19 BBY needs to be properly linked there. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 04:14, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
      • Oh whoops, taken care of. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:48, 12 November 2021 (UTC)
• A sentence summarizing the aftermath would be appropriate for the introduction
  • Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:05, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
• Missing the conjecture templates
  • Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:05, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
• "observed Lioaoin ships resembling the pirates ravaging the Ascendancy." Can you specify what Ascendancy assets were being ravaged? Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 10:49, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
  • Freighters on the edge of the Ascendancy. Added. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:05, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
• The Chiss Expansionary Defense Fleet is intro exclusive and should be included in the infobox Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 02:02, 29 November 2021 (UTC)
  • No longer intro exclusive but I've never seen an article say e.g. "CIS navy" in the infobox instead of just "Confederacy of Independent Systems" — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 05:18, 29 November 2021 (UTC)

Editor liked this chapter

• Context for Stivic needed Editoronthewiki (talk) 23:17, 23 November 2021 (UTC)
  • Done. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 20:05, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
    • I have the nitpick to end all nitpicks. Should read "colony world of" not just "colony world" Editoronthewiki (talk) 20:42, 25 November 2021 (UTC)
      • Done. YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 21:45, 25 November 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• I noticed categories for Category:Battles of the High Republic Era and Category:Battles of the Imperial Era. Is it worth creating Category:Battles of the Republic Era and perhaps bunching them all under Category:Battles by era? Also wonder if it's worth having Battles by affiliation, so one could filter by battles involving a particular faction such as the Chiss Ascendancy or the Regime? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:18, 23 October 2021 (UTC)
  • I’m definitely in favor of the “battles of the Republic Era” category. As for battles by faction, I support that too, but we already have Category: Conflicts by faction and currently list battles of particular conflicts under those. So I would see some people arguing that Category:Battles involving the Chiss Ascendancy is redundant to Category:Conflicts involving the Chiss Ascendancy. — YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 16:44, 23 October 2021 (UTC)