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*'''Nomination comments''': Storm of Khorm Part 2
 
*'''Nomination comments''': Storm of Khorm Part 2
   
===(2 ACs/1 Users/3 Total)===
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===(3 ACs/1 Users/4 Total)===
 
====Support====
 
====Support====
 
#Pre-nom reviewed. '''[[User:Master Jonathan|<span style="color:red">Master Jonathan</span>]] [[File:New Jedi Order.svg|20px]] <sup>([[User talk:Master Jonathan|<span style="color:red">Jedi Council Chambers</span>]])</sup>''' 17:51, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
 
#Pre-nom reviewed. '''[[User:Master Jonathan|<span style="color:red">Master Jonathan</span>]] [[File:New Jedi Order.svg|20px]] <sup>([[User talk:Master Jonathan|<span style="color:red">Jedi Council Chambers</span>]])</sup>''' 17:51, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
 
#{{Acvote}} Indeed. [[User:Toprawa and Ralltiir|Toprawa and Ralltiir]] 18:54, October 14, 2010 (UTC)
 
#{{Acvote}} Indeed. [[User:Toprawa and Ralltiir|Toprawa and Ralltiir]] 18:54, October 14, 2010 (UTC)
 
#{{Acvote}} [[User:Xd1358|<span style="color:#336600;font-weight:bold;">1358</span>]]&nbsp;<sup>[[User_talk:Xd1358|<span style="color:#006600;">(Talk)</span>]]</sup> 18:35, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
 
#{{Acvote}} [[User:Xd1358|<span style="color:#336600;font-weight:bold;">1358</span>]]&nbsp;<sup>[[User_talk:Xd1358|<span style="color:#006600;">(Talk)</span>]]</sup> 18:35, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
  +
#{{Acvote}} <span style="font-variant: small-caps; font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 16px">'''[[User:Cylka|<font color=#008080>Cylka</font>]]'''</span><span style="font-family: times, cursive; font-size: 13px"><sup>[[User_talk:Cylka|<font color=#00A693>-talk-</font>]]</sup></span> 04:21, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
   
 
====Object====
 
====Object====

Revision as of 04:21, 18 October 2010

Villpu Nagg

(3 ACs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Pre-nom reviewed. Master Jonathan New Jedi Order (Jedi Council Chambers) 17:51, October 8, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Indeed. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:54, October 14, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 18:35, October 16, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Cylka-talk- 04:21, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • Would it be appropriate to pipelink Slicer into "slice" here? I would have done it myself, but I'm not exactly sure of the context in which this being used: "they sliced the box and changed the coordinates of the storm" Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:28, October 13, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
  • "The Republic, however, managed to land several units on Khorm, and Nagg was then contacted by Warlord Unger Gout, who informed him that two Jedi were on the way to destroy the station. Nagg was ordered to create a storm strong enough to kill the Jedi." Rather choppy. Could you split up the first sentence, and merge it with the second sentence: "The Republic, however, managed to land several units on Khorm, and Nagg was contacted by Warlord Unger Gout. The Warlord informed him that two Jedi were on the way to destroy the station, and Nagg was ordered to create a storm strong enough to kill the Jedi."
    • Fixed.
  • "The station was built on the Kafiri Mountain and created storms to prevent Republic forces from landing and capturing the agrocite mines." That almost sounds like that the station automatically created storms. Perhaps "…and was able to create storms capable of preventing Republic forces from landing…"?
    • Fixed.
  • "Warlord Unger Gout, the Confederate commander, then contacted…" Be careful when using 'the'. It currently sounds like you have introduced him before.
    • Fixed.
  • That's all from me. 1358 (Talk) 18:18, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

Comments